 [ Symptoms ] what are some ways that those with fibromyalgia can enjoy better sex and intimacy [ Disease ] i want to discuss strategies for trying to enjoy sex and intimacy more despite fm  many tell me the effect of fm on sex is the biggest problem in a relationship call me old fashioned but if your partner is willing to be open minded and adapt to the fm you  i think love gets stronger and conquers all  open communication this is the most important often couples are not comfortable at first having converstions about sex some find it embarrassing to speak freely perhaps a good starting point is connecting on the fm discuss fm and how it specifically interferes with your intimacy reaffirm that avoiding sex does not equal rejecting the partner progress the communication gradually and become more open in sharing each other is most intimate concerns and needs specific solutions identify specfic barriers to your unique situation and solve them if you can if your main barrier is lack of libidointerest then determine if it is from fear of pain fatigue depression medicine side effects disinterest in your partner etc do not just assume it is the fibro and nothing can be done your specific barrier list can be treated step by step by adjustingchanging meds modifying routines etc to remove libido lowering factors work with your health professionals of course many times the process of simply recognizing the barriers and planning to address them results in a positive effect placebo and improves sexual mood if pain during intercourse is a problem try to id the specific cause  is it painful muscle spasms during sex if so consider a pre sex routine to relax muscles sometimes your doctor can prescribe certain meds to relax muscles and decrease tension to take an hour before sexual activity i e a pre emptive strike strategy painful pressure find positions with minimal pressure if the problem is not pain but poor sexual organ responsiveness try lubricants stimulating creamsproducts natural products or talk with your doctor about prescribed sexual stimulant meds i know these sound pretty basic and obvious but many times couples do not try the obvious due to uncertainty if it is ok to do something different it is ok to do this re discover the romance intimacy is not the same as having sex and it does not only happen in the bedroom intimacy occurs throughout the day couples can work on sending intimacy signals during the day smiles compliments appreciative remarks soft hugs etc try not to let fm stop these signals couples can also take more time to get ready yes i am talking about foreplay strive for natural and comfortable including a comfortable environment free from drafts teach each other to rediscover touch with gentle stroking massage soft hugs kissing holding no poking squeezing or playful slaps discover new rituals warm oil massage couple is hot tub hot bath or shower sexual activities other than intercourse can be explored and enjoyed find comfortable positions we can figure this out experiment with