I invested too much to the point where I lost control of my values. Holding that so sacred to my heart made me a little naive and vulnerable to wanting to be embraced and a part of it all. But its also something Im not mentally stressing about and obsessing about either. I threw myself into lots of different things that gave me perspective on life. It was probably the only night in my life where I lay in bed and couldnt sleep the whole night, literally eyes to the ceiling, and that was a really difficult experience for me.
Im not mentalizing the decision to have at least 9000 peasants believed to have died.
( z0 mental :domain ( z1 i ) :polarity - :topic ( z2 decide :ARG1 ( z3 die :ARG1 ( z4 peasant :quant ( z5 at-least :op 9000 ) ) :ARG1-of ( z6 believe ) ) ) )
(z0 / mental
    :domain (z1 / i)
    :polarity -
    :topic (z2 / decide-01
               :ARG1 (z3 / die-01
                         :ARG1 (z4 / peasant
                                   :quant (z5 / at-least
                                              :op1 9000))
                         :ARG1-of (z6 / believe-01))))
Im not mentalizing the decision to have at least 9000 peasants believed to have died .
z0 :polarity 0
z0 :domain z1
z0 :topic z2
z5 :op1 1
z4 :quant z5
z3 :ARG1-of z6
z3 :ARG1 z4
z2 :ARG1 z3