text: [Themes: Romance, Humor]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  Grand Ballroom, southwest corner
  This corner of the ballroom is cool and shaded, with a russet portico leading west to a series of private salons.
  
  Lily Whitestone is here.
  
  > Kiss lily
  You steal closer, closer, closer... and plant a juicy one right on her gleaming rosebud lips! She makes a tiny squealing noise that stops short, her lips tighten as her face pulls into a smile.
  
  Lily Whitestone, a smiler -- imagine!
  
  But, now it is time to flee. With a twirl of your cape and a bow, you steal away into the night...
  
  [Hit return or space to continue.]
  Garden park
  The luscious gardens, abloom in the early spring, send forth their heady aromas on the nuzzling breezes. Aloft, too, are the erotic perfumes of the finely dressed ladies in white, walking two by two in the early eve, innocent as does, poised as summer swans.
  
  A choice maiden sits alone on a bench, reading a steamy novel by gaslight. Mwuhaha-HA! The Smooching Bandit has chosen his second of the evening. A burning buss on those pink smackers will do, will surely do...
  
  > examine novel
  You recognise it at once, for it is penned by your own hand! A great, passionate work, published under a pseudonym, of course. And here sits one of your captive audience, immersed in the florid prose of Chapter 10! If only she knew... ha-HA! If only she knew!
  
  > examine lips
  Blushed and full... She bites them softly as she reads...
  
  > ask maiden about the novel
  The Kissing Bandit prefers to refrain from conversation, to preserve the mystery...
  
  > get novel
  That seems to belong to the maiden.
  
  > examine the locket
  The locket is made of carved gold, inlaid with delicate ornaments. You can't see inside, since the locket is closed.
  
  > open the locket
  Opening the locket reveals a silhouette and a tiny lock of brown hair.
  
  Ah! Your heart breaks once again over your one true lost love! Fair Marianne, twas you that spurned my love, flaming a fury that turned one simple boy into this dashing rogue, that steals kisses by night! If only I could find you...
  
  > examine silhouette
  It is a silhouette of Marianne, the fair creature that broke your heart. It is the only image you have of her. Even your memories of her face have been blurred by tears.
  
  > examine the lock
  A lock of Marianne's hair. The gently curved strands catch the light in autumn colours of brown, red, and gold.
  
  > Kiss silhouette
  You kiss the silhouette; it is, alas, a pale imitation. It leaves ashes in your mouth.
  
  > shout in the maiden's lughole
  (to the maiden)
  That isn't something you can talk to.
  
  > Dance
  You dance in an intoxicated swirl for a few minutes, and then return, laughing, to where you started.
  
  > Kiss maiden
  Ah, before the kiss, you must sneak! Sneak east, then around the tree, then up from behind...
  
  > Sneak
  You sneak east. The pale line of the maiden's neck glows in the twilight. Perhaps the Kissing Bandit should kiss the neck, not the lips? Ah...!
  
  The Bandit stations himself sneakily behind a tree. The maiden stirs, looks left and right, but not behind. Her head tilts down again, her eyes on the page. The Bandit's eyes are on her shoulders, spilling down their slopes. The benchwood blocks further views -- until a slight movement reveals the slender crescent of her neck once again.
  
  Time now to steal forward. The sneaking is the best part.
  
  > steal
  (a kiss)
  Where do you want to kiss her, on her graceful neck or on her rosy lips?
  
  > Lips
  You lean around, catching her by surprise! Your mouths touch, but the maiden resists! Your puckered lips frighten her, and why shouldn't they?
  
  "The Bandit! The Bandit!" she shrieks. So -- she has heard of the Kissing Bandit! You cannot help but be flattered, and so you smile. At the sight of your pearly teeth, the maiden gasps and takes off running to the west.
  
  You leap atop the bench and cry, "Ha-ha-HA! You cannot escape the Kissing Bandit!"
  
  > Kiss neck
  You lean in, but the maiden feels your hot breath on her neck and whirls!
  
  "The Bandit! The Bandit!" she shrieks. So -- she has heard of the Kissing Bandit! You cannot help but be flattered, and so you smile. At the sight of your pearly teeth, the maiden gasps and takes off running to the west.
  
  You leap atop the bench and cry, "Ha-ha-HA! You cannot escape the Kissing Bandit!"
  
  > Sneak
  You sneak up right behind the maiden. You are invisible to her! The Kissing Bandit never betrays himself until the moment of the kiss... the inevitable kiss...
  
  > Go west
  The maiden runs, but she is not too fast. Touching a secret button on your lapel, the boots release hidden springworks, lending superhuman fleetness to your stride.
  
  The maiden looks behind, sees you gaining, and nearly swoons. Surely it is your gleaming mustaches that frighten her! She recovers and runs to the north, her hair shaking down into shimmering tresses.
  
  > Go north
  My, but this one is fast. "Hold, fair maiden! Must you fear the Kissing Bandit? Ha-Ha-HA!" you shout.
  
  The maiden cries, "Oh! Oh!" and races onward, north towards the tower.
  
  > go north
  The maiden begins to climb the tower! Never has the Kissing Bandit pursued such a worthy quarry! A simple twist of your boot buckles, and the powerful magnets in the soles are activated. Climbing this tower shall be no more trouble to the Kissing Bandit than walking, you smirk to yourself.
  
  > climb tower
  Indeed, this maiden is a superior athlete! You would be almost jealous if her determination to escape were not so invigorating! You climb swiftly, nearly reaching her flashing bare ankles... !
  
  "Don't follow me!" she warns. So haughty, even now!
  
  > examine the maiden
  The maiden is just above you, scaling the tower with admirable speed!
  
  > climb tower
  The maiden reaches the top of the tower! She stands full in the moonlight, defiant. She kicks at your hands as you scale the last rungs of the tower, but you anticipate, you dodge.
  
  "There is nowhere for you to run now!" you say. "So here shall I steal my gentle kiss...!"
  
  > Kiss maiden
  At the last moment, she turns her head, and your kiss lands her on the cheek, hot breath from your nostrils puffing in her exposed ear. The Kissing Bandit has struck again... Oops!
  
  The maiden screams, a piercing whistle in your ear! She rubs her cheek madly with her kerchief. "Gross! My cheek is all slobbery!" She shoves at you, and you fall, you fall from the tower!
  
  [Hit return or space to continue.]