text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  Before I begin the game, I would like to show you which character is which. Anyway, this is Tiff. Please remember that.
  
  [Author's Note: This is a spoof off of Friday the 13th. This game is about the 2 new evil zombies named Tiff and Tuff that go on a killing rampage after being burned down by the people who began convincing Nintendo to cancel the Kirby cartoon. You now have to help destroy them. Will you succeed though? That all depends on the game! Descriptors: Blood, Fantasy Violence, Comic Mischief]
  
  > Now for Tuff.
  This is Tuff. Remember that too.
  
  > Now for the game.
  In the year 2003...
  
  Tiff and Tuff were being a bunch of annoying idiots as usual and saying stupid dialogue ("You have to stop this!", etc.). Finally, after half a year of such annoyance, the people of Andover decided that their show must go down. They went to Nintendo headquarters and went on strike against Nintendo for airing the stupid show. They never stopped until Nintendo finally cancelled the lump of crap. After the show was cancelled, they burned down Tiff and Tuff and killed them. They would never see Tiff and Tuff again.
  
  > Or so they thought...
  You're just sitting on the couch watching TV one night when a news flash comes on. "In our latest news," says the reporter. "the 2 kids we had killed a month ago have arose from the dead on the 14th of this month. People, lock your doors and your windows because they are sulking the streets right now! Be careful!" "Pft!" you say. "That's just crap! Zombies are just some stupid myths! I know they aren't real!"
  
  > think again!
  Uh oh. You spoke too soon. Some zombies are at your house, banging on the front door, screaming and chanting "I love you! You love me! We're all one happy family!". What do you do?
  
  > stay in
  "OH MY GOD!" you scream at the top of your lungs. "Call the-" "Police?" says the voice of a little girl. A ponytailed girl with a strange hair color and a smaller boy with hair covering his face appear. "Look who's back! It's us! The kids your people burnt down! That's right! Us!" says the girl. "I'm Tiff" "And I'm Tuff!" says the small boy. "And as you noticed, I'm Tiff's younger brother! Anyway. you are our first murder victim!" "Oh yeah?" you reply. "Not if I stay in the house and call the police!" What do you do?
  
  > call the police
  You call them and they find the zombies. They start shooting them. As they do so, you...
  
  > buy a gun and help kill them off
  You go to the gun shop and you find a bunch of guns. Which one do you buy?
  
  > P2K
  You buy your gun and go back.
  
  > It's fun until someone loses an eye...then it's hilarious!
  You go back to your house and see the cops still shooting them. Do you...
  
  > run to your girl/boyfriend's house
  You go over to your girl/boyfriend's house and meet up with your girl/boyfriend named Moe/Mary. "(your name here), I saw those zombies entering your house!" he/she says. "I know that. That's why I came here. I'd be safe here." you say. "Okay." she replies. Suddenly, your girl/boyfriend looks out the window and screams. "OH MY GOD!! THERE THEY ARE!!!" he/she yells. "What the-" you say.
  
  > OH MY GOD!!!
  BARNEY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I thought you killed him in "Cancel the Kirby Cartoon!"! he walks right up to you with mutated kids behind him singing the opening theme of Barney. (I shall do the rest if the scenes movie script style because that's easier.)
  
  Barney: Hello! Want to sing and dance with me?
  You: Barney!
  Barney: Want to play with me?
  You: No! I hate you, you purple freak!
  Barney: (cry) You hurt my feelings!
  You: Aww...let me give you a hug!
  
  You go up to him and choke him.
  
  You: Feel better now?
  Barney: That hurt me! (cry)
  You: SHUT UP!
  
  > run away
  You run from him.
  
  Barney: Come back and play with me! (cry)
  
  Wait! Your girl/boyfriend's still in there! What do you do?
  
  > run back to your house
  Some zombies are banging at your door and you find Tiff and Tuff, floating in the sky, surrounded by fiery red energy.
  
  Tiff: Well, well, well. If it isn't that moron of all places!
  Tuff: You'll regret ever meeting up with us here!
  You: Oh yeah?
  
  You take out your gun and aim it at Tiff.
  
  Tiff: I don't think you should do that!
  Tuff: You try to kill us, you kill yourself!
  
  Should you believe them?
  
  > No, shoot them!
  You fire lots of bullets at them and they deflect them back at you and you die.
  
  > rise again.
  This is a New Page
  
  Some zombies are banging at your door and you find Tiff and Tuff, floating in the sky, surrounded by fiery red energy.
  
  Tiff: Well, well, well. If it isn't that moron of all places!
  Tuff: You'll regret ever meeting up with us here!
  You: Oh yeah?
  
  You take out your gun and aim it at Tiff.
  
  Tiff: I don't think you should do that!
  Tuff: You try to kill us, you kill yourself!
  
  Should you believe them?
  
  > Yes, they look tough to kill.
  You: Okay. You win.
  Tiff: Good choice!
  Tuff: You got lucky!
  Tiff: But soon, we will kill you!
  
  Suddenly, you hear a loud scream coming from behind you.
  
  ???: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (your name here)!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!
  You: That must sound like Moe/Mary!
  You rush over to your girl/boyfriend's house, only to see your girl/boyfriend being held hostage by Barney.
  
  Barney: Hey look! My friend is back! Now I can use this girl/boy and you to play house!
  You: Shut up, moron! And I came here to save my girl/boyfriend from you!
  Barney: But I want to play with you!
  You: Shut up!
  
  What should you do? Your girl/boyfriend needs saving!
  
  > shoot him
  You take out your gun (whether you went to the gun shop or not) and shoot him in the head. His last words are "I only wanted a friend!" and then he falls and dies.
  
  > Ding dong! Barney's dead! No more Barney! Or pains in the head! Ding dong! The purple dino's deeeeeeeaaaad!!!
  Your girl/boyfriend escapes and runs up to you.
  
  Moe/Mary: Thanks! I thought I was toast there!
  You: It was no problem. Here! Take my gun! I've got an extra!
  
  You give him/her your extra gun. Why did you have an extra gun? I got bored and decided that I want some zombie shooting! Anyway, the two of you leave the house and look around the neighborhood. Suddenly. you see 4 demons that definitely are not a sight for sore eyes. One is lime green. One is yellow. One is purple. And one is red. Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, La-La, and Po. The telletubbies! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Please tell me it's not true! What do you do?
  
  > fight them
  They run at you, trying to use a super deadly big hug attack on you. You shoot them in the squares and they all fly back. Suddenly, they start combining together into........the Colossal Tubby! A gigantic, gray telletubby with 2 evil eyes in the black square in its chest! What do you do?
  
  > shoot it
  But where?
  
  > The head
  Where on the head?
  
  > The eyes
  You shot both of its eyes and now it's blind! What now?
  
  > Up its nose
  You fire a bullet up its nose. The bullet goes through the mucus, straight up, and strikes the brain! The brain blows up, causing its head to blow up and blood and guts go everywhere! You beat that colossus!
  
  > see your girl/boyfriend
  He/she continues shooting a group of zombies. What do you do?
  
  > help him/her
  You and your girl/boyfriend start shooting the zombies one by one. Suddenly, Tiff and Tuff appear again.
  
  Tiff: Well, if it isn't those 2 again!
  Tuff: It seems you've killed one of our greatest weapons: The Colossal Tubby!
  Tiff: I guess you're pretty tough, but wait until you see our next attack!
  You: Oh yeah? Not until we kill you!
  Tiff: You're better off not trying to kill us! Ha ha ha ha ha!
  Tuff: You had better make your choice!
  
  > shoot them
  They use their evil spaz powers to deflect the bullets "Right Back At Ya!". You get it, right? Well, they're from the worst show in the universe called "Kirby: Right Back At Ya!" and I said that they deflected those shots "Right Back At Ya!". Get it now? Nevermind. Anyway, you just died.