text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  You head to that shithole of a place called Billy Ray's Burgers. The place stinks like a combination of rotting old road kill that's been sitting in the sun for two days and bad flowery air freshener that is failing miserably to cover the previously mentioned smell. The place should've been closed down years ago, but people can't seem to get enough of rat meat. You enter and head for the counter.
  
  "Hey zit face, where the fuck's that fat ass Billy Ray?" you shout at some teen working at the register.
  "Erm I dunno dude." he says nervously.
  "You're fucking more useless than tits on a bull boy! Are you what passes as management material?"
  "Mel what the fuck do you want? Stop harassing my employees." Billy Ray says coming in. Billy Ray looks like a walking slab of lard that makes up the majority of his own burgers. You have no idea why people want to work for this fat ass so bad, let alone how he even gets jailbait to fawn all over him. Perhaps he has some mutant ability to control people's minds.
  
  "Gimme a fuckin' job in this shithole!" you say.
  "Heh heh! Tina's on your non-working ass again eh? Well you're in luck, I got some positions available, but first you have to fill out these forms. Billy Ray gives you a shitload of paper work to fill out.
  
  "What?! You fuckin' know me! Why the hell do I have to waste my time filling out stupid ass forms?"
  "Rules are rules, Mel." Billy Ray says.
  
  > fuck it and leave
  You don't want to even work here in the first place, and now he wants you to fill out fuckin' forms? You don't need this shit. You start to leave, but Billy stops you.
  
  "Hey look Mel, hold on. I kinda need ya to help me with something."
  "What?" you say shoving his pork pie hand off of you.
  "There's some teenagers that come in and cause a bunch of trouble all the time and I'd like you to stick around."
  "Why don't you do something?"
  "Cause they're teenagers! I can't lay a finger on them, I'm an adult remember?"
  "Billy, you're getting head jobs from 16 year old girls and you're worried about getting into trouble for fighting some punks fucking with your place of business? Interesting set of priorities you got there..."
  "Shut up! Look will you help me or not?"
  "Oh so it's okay if I get into trouble for kicking their asses?"
  "Erm, well I didn't think you'd care or worry about it."
  "I don't, but it's the fuckin' principle of the thing! Why not get the pigs?"
  "Erm, no. I don't really like police sniffing around this place." Billy says.
  "Yeah, and I know several reasons why. Alright, how much you willing to pay?"
  
  Billy offers a large sum of money. He must REALLY want them gone. You accept his offer and stick around. Sure enough, you later see the teenagers he's talking about. You can tell by their shaved heads and Swastikas on their arms. They begin harassing the customers and shouting at the employees to hurry up with their food. You see Billy attempting to hide his wide load behind a corner and look over towards you, hoping you'll do something.
  
  > confront them
  As you go up to their table, one of them immediately begins shouting at your choice in hairstyle. Probably jealous no doubt.
  
  "Hey you look like a faggot, with all that long hair! Ha Ha!"
  "Uh huh, now run along home. The street lights are almost on and you know you have a curfew. After all seeing as your mothers are working the streets at night for their ebony pimp, someone should be looking after the house."
  
  All of 3 of them stand up very angry.
  "What'd you say motherfucker?" one asks.
  "I said all your moms' are a black man's bitch, you skinhead fucks! Didn't they teach you English in Neo-Nazi school, or was that too difficult a concept for you to understand?" you shout combatively.
  "You're paying for that asshole!" one shouts and tries to attack you, but you instinctively counter and slam his head into the table. Another tries to get behind you, but you back kick him and then elbow him in the face. The other one attempts to escape, but you grab his arm, and in doing so you notice his Swastika tattoo starts smearing!
  
  "You fucking wannabes! You aren't even real skinheads! You fuckers were just trying to act tough! Pathetic!" you say and throw him into the soda dispensing machine. After shaking off the cobwebs, they run off to lick their wounds.
  "And don't come back or I'll shove a burning cross up your asses!"
  "Erm, that's the Klan, Mel." Billy says coming out of hiding.
  "Whatever, you got my money?"
  "Yeah, here you go, but you ruined my soda machine! So I'm docking you one hundred dollars!"
  "Figures you'd find some way of not paying me the full amount, ah fuck it. I'm rich! Time to go get liquored up!"
  
  You leave and go to the store and stock up on massive quantities beer and pork rinds. You then spend the rest of the day watching pay per view porn. When Tina comes home, you're definitely in the mood for some lovin'. (Plus you just learned a few things you want to try out) Tina's less than enthusiastic to you drunkenly pawing all over her right after she's had a bunch of other drunken idiots try to do the same, but after she sees you actually made some money today, she's a little more willing.
  
  Fighting, drinking and fucking. Life is so simple for you...