text: [Themes: Fantasy, Satire]
  
  > go west
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a small leather pouch, a cookbook, a steel key, a trowel, a corkscrew, a pillow, a shiny knife, and a wine bottle here.
  
  > put the cube in lava
  You drop the mauve cube in the pool of molten rock. It slips beneath the lava, lost forever.
  
  > put pillow in the lava
  You drop the pillow in the pool of molten rock. It slips beneath the lava, lost forever.
  
  > enter the pool
  You execute a perfect swan dive into the center of the lava pool. Not surprisingly -
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a small leather pouch, a cookbook, a steel key, a trowel, a corkscrew, a shiny knife, and a mass of insulation here.
  
  > DROP PILLOW, PICKAXE, WINE
  pillow: Dropped.
  pickaxe: Dropped.
  wine bottle: Dropped.
  
  > Insulation
  shiny knife: Taken.
  mass of insulation: Taken.
  
  > examine the lights
  There's no discernible pattern to the control panel's lights and switches. I wouldn't mess with anything if I were you.
  
  > put all but robe in the pocket
  black stone: The black stone is already in the pocket!
  small leather pouch: Done.
  oar: Done.
  bronze ring: (Taking off the bronze ring first)
  Done.
  sword: Done.
  single brick: Done.
  handful of radberries: Done.
  soft pretzel: Done.
  thin wand: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  brass lamp: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  gilded cage: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  > Wand in pocket
  brass lamp: Done.
  thin wand: Done.
  
  > drop all but the robe
  gilded cage: Dropped.
  spade: Dropped.
  oar: Dropped.
  cookbook: Dropped.
  
  > Go northwest
  linoleum. The chamber is featureless; the only exit is back to the southeast.
  
  You see a barbell, a gilded cage, a spade, an oar, and a cookbook
  here.
  
  > get all
  barbell: Taken.
  gilded cage: Taken.
  spade: Taken.
  oar: Taken.
  cookbook: Taken.
  
  > give the cage to the goat
  The goat sniffs the gilded cage and grabs it with yellowing teeth. It chews a few times, swallows, and burps loudly. Unfortunately, it still looks hungry.
  
  > give cookbook to the goat
  The goat sniffs the cookbook and grabs it with yellowing teeth. It chews a few times, swallows, and burps loudly. Finally satiated, the goat wanders off into the mountains.
  
  > Trowel
  wine bottle: Taken.
  jade figurine: Taken.
  corkscrew: Taken.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a robe (being worn), a long rope, a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, and a corkscrew.
  
  A few members of the Valley Patrol lie down on the ground and start snoring.
  
  > go west
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [3]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [3]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  The Valley Patrol walks up from the east.
  
  > Go north
  You can't go that way.
  
  The patrol leader tells a particularly foul joke about the Acme salesman and the King's Droll.
  
  > examine the pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a black stone, a small leather pouch, a bronze ring, a sword, a single brick, a handful of radberries, a soft pretzel, a brass lamp (providing light), and a thin wand.
  
  > Go west
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [3]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [3]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  > drop all but the robe
  long rope: Dropped.
  barbell: Dropped.
  spade: Dropped.
  oar: Dropped.
  wine bottle: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  corkscrew: Dropped.
  
  > go to the east
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. A rusty oven stands against the east wall. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  A small cardboard box is sitting on the wooden shelf.
  
  > pull the oven
  You move the oven away from the east wall, into the center of the room, revealing a narrow passage to the east!
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a long rope, a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a
  jade figurine, and a corkscrew here.
  
  > DROP WAND, SWORD, POUCH, BRICK, RING, STONE
  thin wand: Dropped.
  sword: Dropped.
  small leather pouch: Dropped.
  single brick: Dropped.
  bronze ring: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  
  > go to the east
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. In the center
  of the room is a rusty oven. It appears to have been pulled away from the wall, revealing a very narrow tunnel to the east. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  A small cardboard box is sitting on the wooden shelf.
  
  > look at the rocks
  The rocks are just cave litter, nothing too interesting. A dwarf pokes his head out of a tunnel in the ceiling and tosses a pillow at you. It hits you square in the face, and falls to the ground. You're shaken up, but still standing. "Humbug!" the dwarf squeals. You hear him scampering away up the tunnel.
  
  > look at the rocks
  The rocks are just cave litter, nothing too interesting. A low voice whispers, "Haven't we got anything else to throw at him?"
  
  I don't know the word "haven't".
  
  > examine rocks
  The rocks are just cave litter, nothing too interesting. "No! Not that!" a gruff voice whispers. "It's far too valuable!"
  
  > examine the rocks
  The rocks are just cave litter, nothing too interesting. Without warning, a dwarf pops up from a tunnel in the floor. He's carrying a pickaxe, which he swings at your head. You duck and leap back, surprised. With a stream of nasty curses, the dwarf hurls the pickaxe at you and dives back into the tunnel.
  
  > put all but the robe in the pocket
  handful of radberries: The handful of radberries is already in the pocket!
  soft pretzel: The soft pretzel is already in the pocket!
  brass lamp: The brass lamp is already in the pocket!
  shiny knife: Done.
  pillow: Done.
  pickaxe: Done.
  lump of gold: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  You're feeling a bit better now.
  
  > go west
  You're carrying too much to fit through the passage.
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a long rope, a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a
  jade figurine, a corkscrew, a thin wand, a sword, a small leather pouch, a single brick, a bronze ring, and a black stone here.
  
  > Knife
  pickaxe: Dropped.
  shiny knife: Dropped.
  
  > Go east
  You squeeze through the narrow tunnel, and find yourself -
  
  You're standing in a rough-hewn cave at the top of a long-forgotten mine shaft. A thick vein of gold ore runs diagonally across the east wall, glowing in the pale green lamplight. A narrow squeeze runs west, but you're not going to get through there if you're carrying a lot. To the south, the deep mine shaft runs down. Mudslides and rockfalls have taken their toll, and the shaft is slippery and cluttered, but still negotiable. Still, I doubt if you could climb back up. A wider, straight passage runs north.
  
  You see a lump of gold here.
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a long rope, a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a
  jade figurine, a corkscrew, a thin wand, a sword, a small leather pouch, a single brick, a bronze ring, a black stone, a pickaxe, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > Brick
  long rope: Taken.
  single brick: Taken.
  
  > Go southeast
  You're standing in a strange, spherical room. The walls seem to
  glow with pale, bright shades of purple and blue - your lamp is not needed here. The curving floor and walls feel like slick metal underfoot, and you're having some difficulty maintaining your balance. Round tunnels, made from the same strange purple-blue metal, run north, south, east, and west. [9]  A more normal-looking passage, hewn from gray rock, runs northwest. In the center of the floor is a small, round chute. It vanishes into darkness a few feet below the floor.
  
  > go north
  You're standing in a strange, spherical room. The walls seem to
  glow with pale, bright shades of purple and blue - your lamp is not needed here. The curving floor and walls feel like slick metal underfoot, and you're having some difficulty maintaining your balance. Round tunnels, made from the same strange purple-blue metal, run north, south, east, and west. [10]  In the center of the floor is a small, round chute. It vanishes into darkness a few feet below the floor.
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a strange, spherical room. The walls seem to
  glow with pale, bright shades of purple and blue - your lamp is not needed here. The curving floor and walls feel like slick metal underfoot, and you're having some difficulty maintaining your balance. Round tunnels, made from the same strange purple-blue metal, run north, south, east, and west. [11]  In the center of the floor is a small, round chute. It vanishes into darkness a few feet below the floor.
  
  You see a steel key here.
  
  > go to the north
  You're standing in a strange, spherical room. The walls seem to
  glow with pale, bright shades of purple and blue - your lamp is not needed here. The curving floor and walls feel like slick metal underfoot, and you're having some difficulty maintaining your balance. Round tunnels, made from the same strange purple-blue metal, run north, south, east, and west. [10]  In the center of the floor is a small, round chute. It vanishes into darkness a few feet below the floor.
  
  You see a steel key here.
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a strange, spherical room. The walls seem to
  glow with pale, bright shades of purple and blue - your lamp is not needed here. The curving floor and walls feel like slick metal underfoot, and you're having some difficulty maintaining your balance. Round tunnels, made from the same strange purple-blue metal, run north, south, east, and west. [9]  A more normal-looking passage, hewn from gray rock, runs northwest. In the center of the floor is a small, round chute. It vanishes into darkness a few feet below the floor.
  
  You see a steel key here.
  
  > go to the south
  You are standing in a square chamber carved from the rock. The
  eastern wall of the chamber is made from what appears to be transparent glass - and through it, you can see water and what must be the muddy bottom of Lake Draounheer! Somehow, you've gotten around to the western side of the lake. Perhaps if you strain your eyes, you might make out the King's Lake View room on the other side - but no; the lake is too wide, and the waters too muddy. Identical passages run northeast, northwest, west, and south. To the north is a thick steel door, which stands open, revealing a stone staircase leading down. A sign hangs just above the glass wall.
  
  You see a steel key here.
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a jade figurine,
  a corkscrew, a thin wand, a sword, a small leather pouch, a bronze ring, a black stone, a pickaxe, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > put the stone on board
  You put the stone down on the went board. Suddenly, a horrible rumbling sound rolls across the gray world, and the earth shakes under your feet. The mist swirls up, and a deep, booming laugh echoes in your ear. "Fool!" the deep voice shouts. "You've made a Nut-kool Gomi-flub pattern! All your stones are intoxicated, and I can force a win!" A white stone suddenly appears overhead, spinning down through the dark clouds. It gets closer - and bigger - and bigger - that's no ordinary went stone! It's a veritable mountain! Just before it lands, you realize you are destined to die unenlightened -
  
  > Go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a jade figurine,
  a corkscrew, a thin wand, a sword, a small leather pouch, a bronze ring, a pickaxe, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > Rub figurine
  You rub the head of the figurine. You feel a little silly, but who knows? A little luck never hurt anyone.
  
  > Go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a corkscrew, a
  thin wand, a sword, a small leather pouch, a bronze ring, a pickaxe, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > Go northeast
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west is a great iron door, covered in sinister carvings.
  It's closed. Passages run north and southwest as well.
  
  You see an iron key here.
  
  The smith follows you, looking around curiously.
  
  > go to the south
  You're standing on top of a low, rocky rise somewhere in the Beeg'ashell Mountains. Not far south of here is the land of the Unnkulians, the dread enemies of your beloved master, the Valley King. In fact, you can make out several features from here, further south - Lake Draounheer's western shore, to the southeast; the walls of what appear to be some sort of monastery; and, on top of the highest of the mountains, a giant boulder, perched quite precariously. Unfortunately (or perhaps thankfully) the terrain is far too rugged for you to get there from here. The only safe path is to the north. There's a spreading chestnut tree in the very center of the clearing.
  
  The smith wanders down the trail into the clearing. His eyes fall
  upon the spreading chestnut tree. "Aha!" he cries. "Just what I need to fuel my forge!" He swings his axe in one mighty stroke. The tree splits in two and falls to the ground, just missing you, and dislodging a great eagle that probably made its nest in the highest branches. The giant bird squawks once and wings its way north.
  
  over his shoulder. "Be seeing you!" he shouts, and walks back up the trail to the north. [14]
  
  > go southeast
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west is a great iron door, covered in sinister carvings.
  It's closed. Passages run north and southwest as well.
  
  You see an iron key here.
  
  > go to the southwest
  You're standing in what must be an ancient forge. Dark wooden beams support a sagging stone roof, and the floor is stained with droplets of metal. A giant pair of bellows, attached to a huge crucible, stands in the very center of the room. To one side is a huge grindstone. The only exit is to the northeast.
  
  The crucible seems to contain a gold necklace.
  
  > look at it
  The gold necklace is marvelous craftsmanship, thin strands of sparkling metal spun fine and twisted to form a chain. It must be quite valuable. Perhaps you can give it to Amanda when you find her.
  
  > give necklace to Rivaris
  The woman's eyes light up with pleasure. "A princely gift indeed," she whispers, putting it around her neck. She stands up and lightly kisses you on the cheek. "Perhaps someday I can return the favor."
  
  Without warning, the woman's gossamer gown seems to shift and blend, melting into her body. And are those gills, there, around her ribs? Before you can speak or react, the woman dives smoothly into the ice-cold river. You wait for a long moment, but she doesn't come back up. Could she have been a river nymph?
  
  > go southeast
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west is a great iron door, covered in sinister carvings.
  It's closed. Passages run north and southwest as well.
  
  You see an iron key here.
  
  You're feeling a fuzz hungry. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat.
  
  > eat the pretzel
  That was delicious!
  
  > get all from shelf
  tiny bottle of pills: Taken.
  mauve cube: Taken.
  Geiger counter: Taken.
  
  > go to the southeast
  bottomless shaft. The light and heat is really getting to you now; you're continually mopping your face. The catwalk continues around the deep hole to the northeast and northwest.
  
  There's a large rusted patch in the curving southern wall, but this section of catwalk is otherwise uninteresting.
  
  For just a moment, you feel queasy, but the feeling soon passes.
  
  > get the mitt
  Taken.
  
  "The human scientist's reactor is too vulnerable," one of the voices growls. "We must post guards. If the power were to fail - " The voice pauses. "I trust not this man from the future. His tongue is silver, but his eyes tell me he lies."
  
  > Wait
  Time passes...
  
  "Fear not," another demonic voice murmurs. "Only the old wizard's accursed water can douse the core - and only if the setting is below three."
  
  > Wait
  Time passes...
  
  "And what of the Lady Amanda?" one of the voices asks. You hold
  your breath and wait silently. She is somewhere close by, and these demons know where!
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes...
  
  "She is well-protected," another demon growls. "And she watches
  over Unnkul's Hope, in the Inner Nursery."
  
  Amanda - watching over the evil children of the dread demons? Your heart aches for the fair maiden - forced into servitude by these evil beasts! If only you had kept your trusted sword with you! A red haze swims in front of your eyes, and you thirst for the blood of the demons.
  
  > go northeast
  bottomless shaft. The light and heat is really getting to you now; you're continually mopping your face. The catwalk continues around the deep hole to the northeast and northwest.
  
  south, revealing a narrow crawl space running to the southwest.
  
  > Go south
  The crawl space terminates at a metal grate, suspended above what appears to be a meeting-chamber. You can't really see through the grate too well; the holes are too close together. From the chamber below, you hear gruff, demonic voices arguing, and see monstrous shapes moving around. You could squeeze back through the crawl space to the north, or possibly get through the grate.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > Go east
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west, a great iron door has been opened, revealing a damp,
  dark passage plunging deeper into the earth. Passages run north and southwest as well.
  
  You see an iron key here.
  
  > drop all but the robe
  small cardboard box: Dropped.
  long rope: Dropped.
  single brick: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  coveralls: (Taking off the coveralls first)
  Dropped.
  tiny bottle of pills: Dropped.
  mauve cube: Dropped.
  Geiger counter: Dropped.
  pair of boots: (Taking off the pair of boots first)
  Dropped.
  mass of insulation: Dropped.
  catcher's mitt: Dropped.
  
  > look at the pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a handful of radberries, a brass lamp (providing light), and a pillow.
  
  > show berries to the eagle
  The eagle seems a bit interested; he circles in for a closer look. I think your hand is blocking his sharp-eyed view; maybe if you dropped the berries, he could see them better.
  
  > drop the berries
  You drop the radberries on the ground. Suddenly, the circling eagle turns and flies toward you!
  
  > wait
  Time passes...
  
  The giant eagle swoops down and lands next to the handful of radberries. It's a magnificent bird, fully as large as you are. It scoops up the berries in one giant mouthful, then takes off and flies across the gorge, vanishing into the distance.
  
  > wait awhile
  Time passes...
  
  The giant eagle swoops down and grabs you by the shoulders. You
  wince, trying to pull away, but the monstrous bird is much stronger than you. Suddenly, your feet leave the ground! You close your eyes and swallow, trying to keep your stomach from churning. When you open your eyes again, you find yourself -
  
  Flying Over the Gorge, Carried by a Giant Eagle (AAAAAH!)
  
  You don't have any time to enjoy the scenery; you're too busy trying not to vomit. If you were to look down, you'd probably see extremely jagged rocks, extremely far below. The eagle seems to be flying westward.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes...
  You risk a glance down. The eagle has crossed the gorge! Suddenly, you drop the few feet to the western edge. Shaking, you bend and kiss the ground. The eagle rakes a talon down your back, searching for the berries it saw earlier. It finds them, and gobbles them down. Sated, the great bird takes off, winging its way back across the gorge to the east. You stand, brush yourself off, and look around.
  
  You're west of the wide gorge, high in the Beegas'hell Mountains.
  How you're going to get back across is something of a mystery. The land here is barren and rocky, and would make for quite difficult travelling. A trail follows the gorge to the northeast, climbing slowly through the snow-capped mountains. High above you to the north, you can just make out a tall stone tower, shrouded in mist. Could it be the fabled tower of the Wizard of Ul, Wowsa Willy? [15]
  
  While it's clearly possible to cross the gorge, it seems doubtful
  that Amanda arrived here the same way you did. Full exploration of this fabled land can wait; you must find a way back over the gorge before the trail grows cold!
  
  > go to the north
  The terrain is much too rocky in that direction.
  
  > Go northeast
  You're standing in a clearing high in the mountains. It's quite
  cold here; patches of snow cover dying lichens, and a brisk wind whipping across the mountain-tops chills you to the bone. There's quite a view from here; to the east, you can see the gorge you flew across, and, a bit further down, you can just make out the waters of Lake Draounheer. North of here, down the mountains, you can hear what must be a rushing river, but you can't see it from where you are standing. To the west stands a crumbling stone tower, still imposing but definitely a ruin. A trail leads down to the gorge to the southwest. All other directions are much too rocky or steep to travel.
  
  > Go west
  Tower, Bottom Floor
  
  You're standing on the bottom floor of an ancient, dank stone tower.
  A wooden ladder leads up into the darkness overhead. Inscribed in the stone floor is a huge pentagram. There are no furnishings of any kind. The exit is to the east.
  
  > examine the ladder
  The ladder is securely attached to the wall with iron bolts. It's rotted with age, but can still support your weight (probably).
  
  > examine the pentagram
  The pentagram covers the entire floor, the five points touching the walls. It's inlaid with gold, and covered with black smudges.
  
  > Go upward
  Tower, Second Floor
  
  You're on the second floor of the tower, about halfway up inside.
  There are no windows here, but light leaks down from above and up from below. Still, the room is quite gloomy, and everything is shrouded in shadow. The ladder continues up and down. A writing-desk sits in the very center of the chamber. A silver casket has been pushed against one wall.
  
  A tattered piece of parchment is sitting on the writing-desk.
  
  > look at the desk
  The desk is made from finished mahogany, and the surface is inlaid with swirling patterns of silver. It's quite beautiful. There are no drawers. On the writing-desk you see a tattered piece of parchment.
  
  > examine the parchment
  The parchment is quite tattered. There's spindly writing on it.
  
  > read it
  "Dear Violator of My Tower,
  
  You probably think you're quite clever, getting up here. Well,
  think again. I built this tower in an isolated place because I don't like being hassled by insignificant insects such as yourself. Know that gorge you came across? Well, *I* made that. It took me about an hour. (Think about it.)
  
  I'd strongly suggest you leave - right now.
  
  Yours Sincerely,
  Wowsa Willy, Wizard
  
  P.S. - Don't open the casket. It's mine."
  
  > look at the casket
  The casket is solid silver, tarnished with age but still quite beautiful. It's carved with images of wizardly feats. Interestingly, it's got no lock. The silver casket is closed.
  
  > open it
  As you lift the lid of the casket, there's an explosion from the floor below you. Suddenly, the air is filled with an odious stench, and you hear a strange growling noise from downstairs. Opening the silver casket reveals a white ball and a glass jar.
  
  > examine the ball
  The ball is made of plastic and is full of holes. It's quite light. Tiny raised letters read "Wowsa Willy's Weightless Whiffleball."
  
  > look at the jar
  The jar is rather small. Raised letters on the side read "Wowsa Willy's Wetter Water - Read Instructions Before Using!" Too bad there aren't any instructions. In the glass jar you see some clear liquid.
  
  A huge, hairy beast crawls up the ladder and squats down, eyeing you balefully.
  
  > examine the beast
  The creature must have been summoned from some dark, deadly nether region. It's horrible, huge, and furry, with three-foot long fangs and rippling muscles. It outweighs the Valley King's new Acme Jenerik Advenchur Beest by a good half-ton. Emblazoned in flaming letters across the creature's brow are the words "Wowsa Willy's Watchful Wumpus." [16]
  
  > Note 16
  [16]: Credit to the creators of the original "Hunt the Wumpus," a classic BASIC game if ever there was one.
  
  > close the casket
  Closed.
  
  The horrible creature decides you must be edible, or you wouldn't
  look so frightened. It leaps, and tears a large chunk from the top of your body. Oh, wait a minute - that chunk was your head -
  
  > Go up
  Tower, Top Floor
  
  You're at the very top of the ancient stone tower. A window looks
  out to the north, toward more mountains. The ladder leads down. A cold wind whistles through the window, nipping at your nose. The chamber is empty.
  
  A huge, hairy beast crawls up the ladder and squats down, eyeing you balefully.
  
  > look at the window
  There's no actual glass in the window; it's just an opening. You could probably look through it and see what's outside.
  
  > look through it
  It's quite a view. Far below you is a rushing river, running down through the mountains from the west. No doubt it empties into Lake Draounheer. To the northeast, you can see the Damsogee Swamp, and to the northwest are more snow-capped mountains. There's a ledge right outside the window.
  
  > Go outside
  You're perched, shaking, on a ledge only a few inches wide, outside
  the top floor of the Wizard's tower. Below, the icy, deadly waters of a rushing river beckon you. The wind has picked up, threatening to blow you from your precarious foothold at any moment. The only safe way off the ledge is back through the window to the south. Inside the tower, you hear what must be some sort of ferocious beast snuffling around. Pretty soon, I imagine it'll figure out where you are.
  
  You're feeling a bit better now.
  
  > get the casket
  The casket is far too heavy to take with you. Even a mighty Warrior like you can't carry a chunk of metal that size.
  
  > open it
  As you lift the lid of the casket, there's an explosion from the floor below you. Suddenly, the air is filled with an odious stench, and you hear a strange growling noise from downstairs. Opening the silver casket reveals a white ball and a glass jar.
  
  > get all from the casket
  white ball: Taken.
  glass jar: Taken.
  
  > Go up
  Tower, Top Floor
  
  You're at the very top of the ancient stone tower. A window looks
  out to the north, toward more mountains. The ladder leads down. A cold wind whistles through the window, nipping at your nose. The chamber is empty.
  
  > Go outside
  You're perched, shaking, on a ledge only a few inches wide, outside
  the top floor of the Wizard's tower. Below, the icy, deadly waters of a rushing river beckon you. The wind has picked up, threatening to blow you from your precarious foothold at any moment. The only safe way off the ledge is back through the window to the south.
  
  > put all in the pocket
  brass lamp: The brass lamp is already in the pocket!
  robe: (Taking off the robe first)
  Done.
  
  [TADS-1001: stack overflow]
  
  > put all but the robe in the pocket
  brass lamp: The brass lamp is already in the pocket!
  white ball: Done.
  glass jar: Done.
  
  > jump
  Closing your eyes, you leap from the ledge. You fall for what seems like forever, and finally hit the icy water below. The shock makes you pass out.
  
  You dream of a peaceful place, a place of rest and warmth. As the frigid water closes over your head, you imagine you feel gentle fingers dancing over your face. "I always repay kindness," a whispered voice says. You awaken much later, lying on the grass beside the -
  
  You're standing on the bank of a rushing mountain river. The bank
  is grassy and slopes gently down to the water. The swift-moving river babbles gentle murmurings, and a sweet-smelling breeze blows from the north. It's peaceful here, and quite relaxing. A trail leads back up into the Beeg'ashell Mountains to the southwest. The river is to the north, and flows down from the west.
  
  > examine pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a brass lamp (providing light), a white ball, and a glass jar.
  
  > go to the southwest
  You're walking on a rocky mountain trail that slopes down the side of the mountain. There's almost no vegetation here; a few roots poke from the ground, but the plants here appear to be dying. The trail slopes down to the northeast and up to the south.
  
  You're feeling a bit better now.
  
  > Go south
  You're standing just northwest of a dark cave, somewhere in the Beeg'ashell Mountains. Inside the cave entrance, you can just make out a set of stone stairs sloping down, back into the heart of the mountains. Rough patches of crabgrass struggle for life here and there, poking through cracks in the rocky mountain soil. A trail climbs up to the west, while another slopes down to the north. A third, level trail leads due south. It's quite cold here, and a chill wind whips across the rocky hills. The cave entrance is back to the southeast.
  
  You see a small cardboard box, a long rope, a single brick, a jade figurine, some coveralls, a tiny bottle of pills, a mauve cube, a Geiger counter, a pair of boots, a mass of insulation, a catcher's mitt, and a pillow here.
  
  > get all
  small cardboard box: Taken.
  long rope: Taken.
  single brick: Taken.
  jade figurine: Taken.
  tiny bottle of pills: Taken.
  mauve cube: Taken.
  Geiger counter: Taken.
  mass of insulation: Taken.
  catcher's mitt: Taken.
  pillow: You've already got your hands full.
  
  > PUT ALL BUT ROBE, BOOTS, COVERALLS IN POCKET
  brass lamp: The brass lamp is already in the pocket!
  white ball: The white ball is already in the pocket!
  glass jar: The glass jar is already in the pocket!
  small cardboard box: Done.
  long rope: Done.
  single brick: Done.
  jade figurine: Done.
  tiny bottle of pills: Done.
  mauve cube: Done.
  Geiger counter: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  mass of insulation: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  catcher's mitt: Done.
  
  > throw the ball
  What do you want to throw it at?
  
  > put the ball in the shaft
  You drop the white ball down the shaft. There's a flash of white light in the midst of the yellow glow below, and a brief hiss.
  
  > put pillow in the shaft
  You drop the pillow down the shaft. There's a flash of white light in the midst of the yellow glow below, and a brief hiss.
  
  > examine the water
  The liquid looks pretty much like water, but seems to be somewhat more soupy, like oil. It sparkles when held up to the light.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a robe (being worn), a pair of boots (being worn), some coveralls (being worn), a Geiger counter, a mass of insulation, a pillow, and a white ball.
  
  > examine the pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a brass lamp (providing light), a glass jar, a small cardboard box, a long rope, a single brick, a jade figurine, a tiny bottle of pills, a mauve cube, and a catcher's mitt.
  
  > examine the jar
  The jar is rather small. Raised letters on the side read "Wowsa Willy's Wetter Water - Read Instructions Before Using!" Too bad there aren't any instructions. In the glass jar you see some clear liquid.
  
  > go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a barbell, a spade, an oar, a wine bottle, a corkscrew, a sword, a small leather pouch, a bronze ring, a pickaxe, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > pour the wine in the grate
  You can't put anything in the grate.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > go northeast
  You can't go that way.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > examine the dial
  The area above the fifth setting on the dial is marked in red, with a little skull and crossbones. I think the panel's creators are trying to tell you something. [16]  The white dial can be turned to settings numbered from 1 to 7. It's currently set to 5.
  
  > look at the hole
  The hole's about two inches on a side. Probably one of those infamous Unnkulian activation-cubes would fit in it.
  
  > go south
  The crawl space terminates at a metal grate, suspended above what appears to be a meeting-chamber. You can't really see through the grate too well; the holes are too close together. From the chamber below, you hear gruff, demonic voices arguing, and see monstrous shapes moving around. You could squeeze back through the crawl space to the north, or possibly get through the grate.
  
  "Let us reveal all of our sinister plans for the benefit of any
  spies who might be listening!" a squeaky-voiced demon chirps. You hear the swift, painful sounds of the other demons pounding him into silence.
  
  > put the ball in the grate
  You can't put anything in the grate.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > put the ball on the grate
  There's no good surface on the metal grate.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > open the grate
  You kick open the grate, revealing the chamber below. Seated around a pentacle-shaped table are the five demon lords of Unnkul, the most powerful creatures known! They look up at you, fixing you with beady demon-eyes. You feel a bit exposed. You feel even more exposed a moment later, when the demon lords pull you from the crawl space and skin you like a rabbit -
  
  > go to the south
  The grate's closed.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > go northeast
  bottomless shaft. The light and heat is really getting to you now; you're continually mopping your face. The catwalk continues around the deep hole to the northeast and northwest.
  
  south, revealing a narrow crawl space running to the southwest.
  
  > West
  The walls of this rectangular chamber are hung with red and black curtains, depicting the triumph of nasty Unnkulians over pitiful, scraggly Valley Warriors. The floor is bone white marble streaked with blood-red minerals, iron ore and granite. A giant pentacle-shaped table stands in the very center of the chamber. There's what appears to be a heating duct at the very top of the chamber in the northern wall. A dim glow from strange panels in the ceiling illuminates the room with a ruddy glow. The only exit is back to the east.
  
  Squatting around the table are five monstrous demons. You recognize them from the paintings of Valley artists - the demon lords of Unnkul! On the right, Ug'lee Ist, the six-headed Warlord, commander of the military demons. To the left, Gher'ee Phahl-wil, the Bishop of the false prophets of Unnkul. Between them, the other three lords, all unbearably evil, all unbearably powerful - all staring at you. The Demon Wizard Dug'heh-neng leers in your direction, stroking the scraggly hairs on his upper lip. "The ways of my Magic are most Unnkul," he growls, gesturing with a slender claw. Suddenly your insides are on the outside -
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a barbell, a spade, an oar, a corkscrew, a sword, a small leather pouch, a bronze ring, and a pickaxe here.
  
  > Examine box
  Which box do you mean, the small cardboard box, or the Geiger counter?
  
  > Cardboard
  You can't put anything in the grate.
  
  "Let us reveal all of our sinister plans for the benefit of any
  spies who might be listening!" a squeaky-voiced demon chirps. You hear the swift, painful sounds of the other demons pounding him into silence.
  
  > throw the cardboard at the grate
  You miss.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > get the box
  Taken.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > Shout
  Your throat is a bit sore now.
  
  One of the demonic voices from the chamber beyond the grate mutters something you can't quite hear.
  
  > pour the water in the shaft
  You pour the clear water down the shaft. There's a momentary flash of light, and a brief dimming of the glow below, but then the light and heat climb back up to their former levels.
  
  > pour the wine in the shaft
  You drop the wine bottle down the shaft. There's a flash of white light in the midst of the yellow glow below, and a brief hiss.