text: [Themes: Humor, Cave crawl, cave, cave crawl, humor]
  
  > Go downwards
  You jump down the hole. You land in a pile of hay. You get up.
  
  This cave has an exit leading outside to the southwest. In the middle of the ceiling, high above you, is a round hole. On the floor, directly under the hole, is a pile of hay.
  A short lever with a handle sticks out from a wall. The handle has a thin, wide gap, large enough for the fingers of one hand to go through. A metallic pyramid, about half a meter high, sticks up from the cave floor. You once tested a hundred different teleporters, and you recognize the pyramid as one of the safest and least complicated models. To use it you just stand on it and shake the lever repeatedly. This particular teleporter seems badly designed though: the lever is far away from it, almost on the other side of the cave.
  
  Up from the lever sticks the new magical sword from Adventurer's Emporium. According to the commercial it will start to vibrate when you are close to danger. It is shaking like crazy, but not enough to shake the lever.
  
  You can see a cage (which is closed) (in which is a gremlin) and the goblin sidekick here.
  
  The sword goes even crazier and starts thrashing like a headless chicken on drugs.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. There comes a low humming sound from the teleporter.
  
  The gremlin picks up a small rock from the ground. He smashes the code-lock with it and jumps out of the cage. Then he runs giggling through the southwest exit.
  
  > get on the teleporter
  The goblin gets on the teleporter.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The sound from the teleporter gets louder.
  
  > get on the teleporter
  You get on the teleporter.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The sound gets even louder. A few electrical sparks shoots up from the teleporter. Your feet tickle. The goblin giggles.
  
  > wait awhile
  Time passes.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The teleporter starts shaking and smoking. The cave begins to fade out around you, and another cave fades in.
  
  This cave has an exit to the east. In the middle of the floor is a round hole.
  A huge dead monster lies here, its four feet in the air. It has a stupid-looking face on a round gray hairless body. Its tiny eyes stare at nothing. The upper half of a dead pointy-eared elf is sticking out of its mouth. It looks like the monster choked on the elf. The elf is wearing a backpack.
  
  The goblin begins to fade in next to you. You look down at yourself. You seem unsubstantial, like a ghost. Slowly you begin to take on a more solid form. Now you look normal.
  
  > Go east
  This cave has exits to the west and northwest.
  A goblin woman is standing here. She is wearing a medallion, and carrying a purse. You are not quite sure, but with her long ears, sharp yellow teeth, and big feet you think she is pretty cute by goblin standards.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  "Well, hello there!" says the female goblin and smiles.
  
  "Uh, hi," says the goblin, his cheeks turning a darker shade of green. They seem distracted.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes.
  
  > go to the northwest
  You sneak out. The goblins don't seem to notice.
  
  This cave has an exit to the southeast.
  On the north wall is a small round metal hatch. It is closed.
  Near the hatch is a table.
  In a corner stands a short metal garbage can. It is closed.
  
  On the table you can see:
  A long heavy-looking iron spear.
  A Remmingeim Royal crossbow. The older Royal model is almost identical to the Supreme. Very few but an experienced product tester like yourself could tell the difference. The Royal is quite good. It does not have the returning arrow function, but it is magically protected from theft and vandalism. It has an arrow identical to the one in the Supreme bow.
  
  > get the spear
  The spear is too heavy for that.
  
  > open can
  You open the garbage can. It is empty.
  
  > open hatch
  It is locked.
  
  > get the table
  The table is too heavy for that.
  
  > Unlock hatch
  What do you want to unlock the hatch with?
  
  > Arrow
  Which do you mean, the Royal arrow or the Supreme arrow?
  
  > Supreme
  (first taking the Supreme arrow)
  You attempt to get the arrow from the crossbow, but almost immediately it disappears from your grip and reappears in the crossbow.
  
  > get the royal arrow
  Just as you are about to take the arrow, the crossbow wiggles out of your grip. It hangs hovering in the air for a moment.Then it flies away and lands on the table.
  
  > hit the hatch with Supreme
  You smash the crossbow into the hatch, but it is pretty solid.
  
  > get the royal arrow
  You try, but the crossbow starts wiggling around, making it impossible.
  
  > Fire royal arrow
  First taking the Royal crossbow.
  Taken.
  Just as you are about to pull the trigger the crossbow wiggles out of your grip. It flies away and lands on the table. That theft protection is pretty good!
  
  > put the bow in the can
  Which do you mean, the Royal crossbow or the Supreme crossbow?
  
  > put the royal bow in the can
  You put the Royal crossbow into the garbage can.
  
  > go southeast
  You sneak back.
  
  This cave has exits to the west and northwest.
  A goblin woman is standing here. She is wearing a medallion, and carrying a purse. You are not quite sure, but with her long ears, sharp yellow teeth, and big feet you think she is pretty cute by goblin standards. She is staring at your sidekick, looking rather distracted.
  
  You can see the goblin sidekick here.
  
  > go west
  "Come along now," you say to the goblin as you leave.
  
  This cave has an exit to the east. In the middle of the floor is a round hole.
  A huge dead monster lies here, its four feet in the air. It has a stupid-looking face on a round gray hairless body. Its tiny eyes stare at nothing. The upper half of a dead pointy-eared elf is sticking out of its mouth. It looks like the monster choked on the elf. The elf is wearing a backpack.
  
  The goblin reluctantly walks in from the east, throwing several glances over his shoulder.