text: [Themes: Western, western, strong NPCs, Comedy, prison]
  
  > Easter egg
  PC
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  The sheriff enters the office, shotgun in hand. You and Muddy freeze in your tracks and raise your hands in the air. The sheriff kicks the prone deputy, who stirs slowly at first, but then jumps to his feet.
  
  "You." The sheriff points at you. "Your name Muddy?"
  
  "No. I ain't Muddy," you reply. "That there is Muddy. I is Rick."
  
  "Damn. What were she thinking?" growls the sheriff. "Mary Sue, you come on in here now, you hear?"
  
  A young woman -- you hesistate to guess her actual age on account of propriety -- edges nervously into the office, her eyes cast to the ground. By the way she walks, you guess she is in a family way, and after she turns towards Muddy, there's no question. Judging by the size of her belly, you'd have to say five, maybe six months. She raises her eyes to Muddy and her face brightens.
  
  "Oh, Lordie," mutters Muddy, closing his eyes and running his hand over his face. "The one thing I don't plan -- and look what happens."
  
  Lowering the shotgun, the sheriff walks over and puts his arm around Muddy's shoulders. Distributing cigars to you and the deputy, he smiles, "Deputy Jimbo, Rick -- I'd like you to meet my new son-in-law, Muddy. Ain't that right, Muddy?"
  
  "I do reckon it's better than a-hanging."
  
  Muddy never sees it coming. Mary Sue's roundhouse punch lands square on his jaw, launching him towards the jail bars like a sack of potatoes.
  
  "Well," you observe, "maybe this marriage just might work out."
  
  > Planned Parenthood
  PC
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > Planned Parenthood
  PC
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > Go north
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > PC
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  The sheriff's wheelchair rolls up the front ramp, and he enters the office with his multicultural posse, who represent the diverse members of the community of Endangered Arthropod Valley. Two of the named women in his posse discuss a subject other than men. The sheriff draws a nonlethal weapon that has not been tested on animals, and waves it in a non-threatening manner at you and your partner.
  
  The deputy finishes his yoga stretches and stands up, draining his bottle of health water and setting the recyclable bottle on the renewable hardwood desk. "Sheriff, we had a right pleasant evening, and I reckon these gentlemen is sincerely regretful of their wrongdoings."
  
  The sheriff agrees, "I do reckon, but they still got to repay their crime, even if the blame for that crime ultimately rests on society itself, and is the result of a poor educational system and the lack of adequate social welfare and state institutions."
  
  The deputy nods sagely, "How about some community service? The Gunslinger's Significant Other Association runs a camp for autistic spectrum disorder orphan Native Americans on the outskirts of town. I reckon they could use a hand running their cruelty-free all-vegetarian farm."
  
  There is a murmur of agreement from the posse, and the sheriff claps the deputy on his back. "That's mighty forward thinking of you, James."
  
  Muddy gives you a distressed look and asks the sheriff, "I reckon I'd prefer the hanging. Is that still an option?"
  
  > PC
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > PC
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > go north
  > A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  The sheriff strolls into the office and immediately notices the portrait. Hands on his hips, he admires the painting. "I declare, that *do* make the office. It breaks up that entire space. That wall were so stark and empty before you done hung it. I owe you two a debt of sincere gratitude."
  
  Muddy considers the painting as well and then looks around the room. "That seemed the right place to hang it, considering you got all them wood tones in the desk and the cabinet, and yonder doorway gives that area a bright, natural light most of the day."
  
  The deputy stirs. "Yeah," he adds, "It's a shame we don't got no windows in the office, excepting in the jail cell. I reckon we could knock out that front wall and put in a bay window, maybe add a window treatment that would soften the room a jot. Also, how about a stencil? Something rustic, running as a trim, just below the ceiling."
  
  You brew four cups of dark, whole-bodied espresso, sprinkling the top with nutmeg. The steam curls upward and fills the room with a rich aroma. You settle down on the plush wraparound couch that has appeared in the office and join the sheriff, the deputy and Muddy in browsing through a book of fabric swatches.
  
  PC
  > A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > go north
  A Flare For Design
  > Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  A Flare For Design
  > Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  The waving fields of wheat are incinerated in the actinic flame of fusion rocket exhaust as a quarter-mile long football-shaped metal ship extends its landing pylons and sets down across the street from the sheriff's office.
  
  The sheriff is transfixed by the sight, and the marshal faints outright.
  
  A gangplank extends and a massive cargo door rolls open. A woman in a blue flight suit is followed down the ramp by an energetic white dog with black spots. She walks to the office and stares at Muddy.
  
  "Janet?" croaks Muddy dryly. "I didn't expect to see you around these parts."
  
  "I bet you didn't," she replies matter-of-factly. "We have a situation in The Belt, grab your saddle bag."
  
  "I got a buddy, Janet. He's real good with a gun and plays a mean harmonica." Muddy turns to you, "Janet, this here is Rick."
  
  Janet nods and is already walking back to the ship before you can so much as say "howdy".
  
  "What's with her?" you ask.
  
  Muddy sighs. "It's complicated, I reckon."
  
  PC
  A Flare For Design
  > Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  A Flare For Design
  > Range Rover
  Just Visiting
  
  > go to the north
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  > Just Visiting
  
  A Flare For Design
  Range Rover
  > Just Visiting
  The sheriff walks into the office, followed closely by the marshal. The marshal trains his pistol on you while the sheriff examines the deputy, who is stretched out on the floor.
  
  "He ain't dead," the sheriff observes. "But he like as hit his head on the bars. Wait a minute." The sheriff leans closer to the prone body. "This ain't right. Where he lost some skin, I see scales. Like he were a lizard, or something."
  
  The marshal hisses and swings his gun to cover the sheriff. The hissing is echoed by the cadre of soldiers behind the marshal.
  
  The marshal replies, "A regrettable observation, earthman." He beckons some guards forwards. "Glulx, take the sheriff and lock him up. Glk and Zil, you go out back and take charge of those iridium discs in the stagecoach." Swinging the gun back to you and Muddy, he drawls, "Now, as for you two..."
  
  Muddy laughs lightly and pushes the gun aside, "Heck, Zilch, it's me, Ifmud, and this here's Rixyzzy. We was sent after that iridium our own selves, but we got captured by the earthmen. Good thing I had a backup plan!"