text: [Themes: fantasy, fantasy]
  
  Your name is Katrina and you are the Elf Princess. You are 17, slender, have long dark brown hair that reaches your waist, and blue eyes. You are in your bedroom which has sapphire blue walls, multiple windows, a high wooden ceiling from the tree which your living quarters are in, and an ivory colored carpet. Your room is sectioned off from everyone else being that you ARE the princess. You live with your family in the biggest oak tree in the forest which is in the center.
  
  You go over to one of the windows facing the river that runs in your father's kingdom. Examining the current and the ways that the wind is blowing, you start to feel at peace. All of a sudden there is a hand on your shoulder, you spin around ready to strike but it is only your father, the King.
  
  "Katrina, it is time," he says. You nod your head understanding that he is speaking of the coming of age ceremony in which you are to look at all the suitors and pick one. You have dreaded this night for a long time but you follow him anyway.
  
  Your crimson dress flows around you like a curtain of blood as you walk to the gathering place where the celebration is being held. You walk and are greatful for the elegant red flats being as comfortable as they are.
  
  As you get there, you look into the room and see a lot of elvish people looking back. You acknowledge them and they go back to what they were doing. You look around the room spotting the food. Your father grabs you by the elbow and leads you to the front of the room where the thrones are and gives you a choice: you can either go dance with the suitors or you can eat your fill and wait for someone to come to you.
  
  > eat and Wait
  You nod to your father, who sits on his throne made of roots, and make your way over to the the table of food. There is everything that you could have asked for: juicy prime rib, honey glazed carrots, grilled asparagus, bbq chicken, and of course sweets to fill multiple people without the entrees.
  
  "Happy coming of age ceremony," someone says sarcastically next to you. You look and see that it is your best friend William. He was the only one that you told openly that you were dreading this thing so much. "You look nice tonight," he comments giving you a quick glance over. You just nod as you continue to put food on your plate. After you have a pile of food on your plate, you make your way over to some of the tables. William follows you with his own plate and sits next to you. "So have you picked one yet?" William askes.
  
  "No, I just got here. You know how much I don't want this," you say in reply.
  
  "Fair enough. So what are you going to do?" He questions you.
  
  "I have absolutely no idea. What do you think I should do?" You look at him expectantly.
  
  "Well, you could stay here with these mundane elves and pick a suitor like you are supposed to do...or after you are done eating, you and I could go out and find a place to practice your fighting," he says. You finish eating and make your decision:
  
  > stay and Pick Someone
  "I'll stay I guess." William nods and walks away with what you think is a look of disappointment. You look around and see multiple people but only one catches your eye. He is a tall handsome guy with dark hair, dark eyes, and light skin. He was beautiful. You decide to go over there.
  
  You nod to your father, who sits on his throne made of roots, and make your way over to the the table of food. There is everything that you could have asked for: juicy prime rib, honey glazed carrots, grilled asparagus, bbq chicken, and of course sweets to fill multiple people without the entrees.
  
  "Happy coming of age ceremony," someone says sarcastically next to you. You look and see that it is your best friend William. He was the only one that you told openly that you were dreading this thing so much. "You look nice tonight," he comments giving you a quick glance over. You just nod as you continue to put food on your plate. After you have a pile of food on your plate, you make your way over to some of the tables. William follows you with his own plate and sits next to you. "So have you picked one yet?" William askes.
  
  "No, I just got here. You know how much I don't want this," you say in reply.
  
  "Fair enough. So what are you going to do?" He questions you.
  
  "I have absolutely no idea. What do you think I should do?" You look at him expectantly.
  
  "Well, you could stay here with these mundane elves and pick a suitor like you are supposed to do...or after you are done eating, you and I could go out and find a place to practice your fighting," he says. You finish eating and make your decision:
  
  > Escape With William
  You finish eating and stand up with William as he starts to leave. You walk with him over to the glass doors that lead to the river. The weapons are already there. You pick up a bow and test the string as William sets up the targets. You pick up an arrow and adjust it in your hand onto the string. William quickly gets out of the way. You pull the arrow back on the string and aim. You let go and the arrow flies hitting the 2nd circle. William comes and makes you get back into position. He tweaks a few minor positions and then has you shoot again. You shoot the arrow and it hits dead center. You get so excited that you drop the bow and hug William and he just stands there in shock. As you calm down you instantly realize what you are doing and let go of William. He awkwardly laughs.
  
  "Sorry," you say.
  
  "It's okay," he says. All of a sudden there are screams coming from the gathering place.[Themes: fantasy, humor, fantasy]
  
  You lie on the ground, defeated. Your body is drained of every last ounce of energy, and are completely unable to to move. Your bones are splintered and cracked. Despite your desperate attempts to convince your body to respond, your pleas are left unanswered. You give up all hope, accepting your fate.
  
  You look up to see a figure in full-plate armor that gleams in the sunlight. It's that damned paladin again...
  
  He glows with a holy aura as he readies his blade to finish the deal. You see his lips move, but your senses have long since stopped serving you, so you can only guess what he's saying.
  
  He slams his sword down towards your skull and everything goes black.....
  
  [Author's Note: The silly adventure of Zurigul, the most incompetent lich in the land of Ragholme.]
  
  > wake up...
  You wake up.
  
  The sun is shining is shining glorious rays of light into the room.
  
  The birds are singing a song that could put the most brutal of tyrants into a state of calmness.
  
  Everything is at peace.
  
  And you absolutely HATE IT.
  
  You are Zurigul, the most powerful, talented, and incredibly-handsome lich to ever exist in the kingdom of Ragholme. It helps that you are the only recorded lich in the history of Ragholme.
  
  It is your goal in un-life to conquer this land full and turn it into a pit of darkness and misery that your wizard-school bullies totally deserve.
  
  You look at your phylactery, the beautiful crystal orb that you spent 40 years of your life perfecting. In death it serves as a beacon of power that makes you immortal; constantly regenerating your physical form a couple of days after your "death" unless it is destroyed.
  
  > Time to complain about your defeat
  Your most-recent defeat was at the hands of Chadley McBravenheart, the most reknown paladin across the land. As a holy warrior it is his sworn duty to defend the people against you, the most talented and powerful lich in the kingdom.
  
  Unfortunately at this point he was destroyed your physical form 94 times in a row without taking a scratch because he's cheating! He uses holy magic to protect himself, as well as to smite you because apparently wanting to take over the kingdom is "evil" and that makes some magical entities in the sky not like you.
  
  You think up a plan in order to exact your revenge on Chadley, as surely he will be outmatched with your next plan, even more brilliant than the last!
  
  You decide that this time you will....
  
  > .....create a alchemical concoction to assist you in battle
  You approach your alchemy table which is covered in dust due to months of neglect. Lately you've been rather low on funding for your brilliant research, and alchemy can be expensive, so you'd been looking for alternative methods to defeat Chadley, but this time you know it's going to be worth it.
  
  You spend some time cleaning the area up and before you know it, all of your beakers and flasks look good as new, give or take a few scratches, cracks, and holes. You also scavenged some basic materials you found in various pots, pans, and shelves throughout the house.
  
  You to heat various beakers before realizing that you're completely out of alchemical components for poisons, so unless you go buy some more you'll have to stick with some sort of potion to enhance your strength.
  
  You decide to....
  
  > ....go shopping!
  You exit your house and look back. The tiny, eroded stone structure looks like it could collapse in on itself at any moment.... home sweet home.
  
  You make the long, arduous journey of walking to the captial city, and after a grueling thirty-second-long hike you've finally made it to the gates.
  
  Chadley sits atop his valiant steed and interrupts your pleasant stroll.
  
  "What do you think you're doing here? I told you last time--"
  
  You interrupt the fool, stating that you are simply here to buy alchemical components to destroy him.
  
  "Oh alright then." Chadley replies as he allows you to pass. Clearly the pure ingenuity of your plan has silenced him due to the fear coursing throughout his body.
  
  > walk to the alchemy shop.
  You enter the shop and the man at the counter grins with delight.
  
  "Oh Zurigul, it's nice to see you again. It's been months since you last made a potion to defeat that mean-old Chadley."
  
  You explain to the man at the counter your poor financial situation, leading to your attempts at alternative forms of combat.
  
  "Oh don't worry, I understand, I'll even give you a discount this time, only 5 gold pieces for your usual package of ingredients."
  
  Delighted to encounter such fantastic savings you gleefully slam your five gold "pieces" down on the table. The statuettes sparkle in the sunlight coming through the windows of the building. Usually he asks for ten. Who has enough golden statues to pay that much for some plants and fungus?
  
  You head home, the shopkeeper strangely delighted despite giving you such a huge discount. You then spend the rest of the day concocting the most delightly-deadly potion you've ever seen. The next day comes and you go to
  
  > confront Chadley with your powerful poison.
  Yet again you make the arduous journey to the capital and Chadley asks what you're doing.
  
  You tell him that you've come here to finally defeat him using the incredibly deadly poison you spent so much time brewing last night.
  
  Chadley dismounts his steed and is ready to fight; his sword glows with that disgusting yellow-white color that precedes each of his smitings.
  
  You decide to take the first move and
  
  > throw the poison at him!
  With all of your might you throw the vial of poison at Chadley and with a furious shatter it.... completely misses him, landing on the ground 3 feet in front of you.
  
  You forgot that because you are a skeletal lich with no muscles you aren't really good at throwing things anymore, not that you ever really were that good of an athlete in life.
  
  Chadley immediately charges forward and smashes you to pieces.