text: [Themes: Humor, Puzzle, Fantasy, nonhuman protagonist, old school, humor]
  
  > enter the circle
  I can feel a faint eldritch humming in the air as I step into the circle. Let's get out of here before the cage appears again.
  
  Hey, egg. Get out of that vase and get into my break. Arrgh, I can't reach. Come on, egg, just crawl up here so I can eat you.
  
  > take the fish
  I already have that.
  
  Hey, egg. Get out of that vase and get into my break. Arrgh, I can't reach. Come on, egg, just crawl up here so I can eat you.
  
  > eat the fish
  Done! Not bad.
  
  Hey, egg. Get out of that vase and get into my break. Arrgh, I can't reach. Come on, egg, just crawl up here so I can eat you.
  
  > take fish
  Taken.
  
  Now I can hear the humming and not just feel it. Something is rumbling beneath the circle. Let's get out of here before I have to break out of that cage again.
  
  Time for a delicious eggy snack! ...Oh crud. I still can't get to the egg at the bottom of the vase.
  
  > break the vase
  Ploink! The vase cracks apart, and the shards of glass
  disappear.
  
  Sproing! Some sort of weird magical glowing beams are
  shooting up from the circle and--- oh, no. Not this again. No no no no no! They're surrounding me and, once again, forming some sort of magical cage around me. Get me out of here!
  
  Oh no, the delectable egg is just out of reach! Don't worry, egg, I'll get out of here soon and will savor your eggy deliciousness.
  
  > hit the bars
  Okay, I can do violence! Kapow! I snapped one of the bars.
  I'm almost through!
  
  > Continue
  Okay, okay. Right. Violence solves so many problems. Thud!
  The cage has enough and disappears in a puff of green smoke.
  
  > examine Device
  This is apparently some sort of counterfeiting machine. It's a metal box with red, blue, and green buttons on its side and a narrow slot beneath them. There's a tray, also made of metal, mounted on the top.
  
  Kniolp! Shards of glass pop into existence and reform
  themselves into a glass vase. Ohhhh, it must be made out of Mel's self-repairing glass. It's cheaper than his unbreakable glass.
  
  > examine banknote
  This is a note for one million florins! That's only fifty thousand marks, but it's still nothing to sneeze at. The paint's still a little tacky, so I'm being careful when touching it.
  
  > take the banknote
  Taken.
  
  > go east
  I'll have to get out of the chalk circle first.
  
  > show the banknote to Mel
  Mel looks at the note. Then he touches it lightly. I'm trying to look innocent, boss. I don't think he's buying it. Wait, wait. He shrugs.
  
  "What the hell. It's funny, if nothing else."
  
  Victory is ours!
  
  Mel takes out a ledger from underneath the counter and carefully makes a note in it. "All right, that's certainly worth another ingredient."
  
  > pop the balloon
  Pop! Gah! That balloon is loud. Well, that was fun while it
  lasted.
  Checking a sigh, Mel incants "Kadara!", and a red balloon pops into existence. Man, that's handy.
  
  > Go northeast
  This is the floor of the stock market, and it's full of animals. There's hooting and honking and barking and mooing. I'm getting hungry just looking at their pen. From here, I can go south to the bank or southwest to Big Street.
  
  Some merchants crowd around an auctioneer, doing whatever it is that humans do.
  
  I can also see a coffer (which is open) and an auction block (on top of which is a stock certificate) here.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > examine the animals
  There are more kinds of animals here than I can count. There must be, like, ten different kinds. They're currently alive, which is not the most delicious state for an animal, but I can dream.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Next up is Contemporary Cardinal Interests," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > examine the coffer
  It's a strongbox full of stock certificates.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > search the coffer
  It's full of all sorts of stock certificates for all kinds of animals. I can try looking for something specific, if you want.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Now, who wants to own these fine shares of Amalgamated Weasel Company?" he asks.
  
  > search the coffer for Raven
  The auctioneer shoos me away. "Those are just pictures of animals. They're not food--- oh, wait. You're that wizard's bird. Well, if you want to participate in the auction, I don't mind. It makes sense, I suppose," he says hesitantly. "He's been trying to start his own businesses for a while without much luck, so why not invest in someone else's business instead, and why not send a magical bird to handle the transactions?
  
  "All right, bird, you're welcome to join us. Just wait till this round is over."
  
  "One!" declares F'nyrx.
  
  "Two florins!" declares Sunshine Gristlesplat.
  
  "Four!" declares Elspeth.
  
  "Eight!" bids Percival.
  
  "Sixteen florins!" shouts Professor Demonspoon.
  
  "Who wants to bid thirty-two florins?"
  
  > search the coffer for the crow
  The auctioneer shoos me away. "Not yet, I've got to finish this auction first."
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  A small group of cows crowds together, their eyes darting around.
  
  > search the coffer for the dog
  Got it! I hold it up for the auctioneer. "Thanks. I'm not tipping you."
  
  "Next up is Efficient Dog Unlimited," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > wait for a while
  All right. Boss, I hate to rush you, but at some point the treasurer is going to figure out where the king wandered off to.
  
  "...sold!" Hortensia steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > search the coffer for the hedgehog
  Got it! Ack! The auctioneer grabs me and takes the certificate. "You have to actually buy the stock, bird." He shrugs. "Well, I guess this one is as good as any other."
  
  "Next up is Future Hedgehog Company," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  A small group of cows crowds together, their eyes darting around.
  
  > Bid one florin
  What do you want to bid the florin on?
  
  > wait
  All right. Boss, I hate to rush you, but at some point the treasurer is going to figure out where the king wandered off to.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  In my bag of holding, I have:
  a fish
  a vellum page
  a faery coin
  a florin
  some farming tools
  a fishing rod
  a bottle of clear fluid
  a torn page
  a spell book
  a magic wand
  the mind of a desperate wizard
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > examine florin
  This is a one-florin coin. A florin is one twentieth of a mark. One florin will not save your bacon. But hey, you could buy me
  some bacon.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Next up is Reliable Lamb Securities," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > Wait
  All right.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  Two pigs huddle together, shivering nervously.
  
  > search the coffer for the fish
  Hmm. I can't find anything like that in the coffer.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Next up is Efficient Beaver Properties," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > ask Mel about the credit
  Mel checks his ledger. "You've given me enough money and valuables for six spell ingredients."
  
  > buy unicorn fur
  "All right, W.D., here you go." Mel hands me the unicorn fur and makes a note in his ledger.
  
  > Wait
  All right.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > search the coffer for the crocodile
  Got it! Ack! The auctioneer grabs me and takes the certificate. "You have to actually buy the stock, bird." He shrugs. "Well, I guess this one is as good as any other."
  
  "Next up is Focused Crocodile Company," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  Two pigs huddle together, shivering nervously.
  
  > search the coffer for the worm
  The auctioneer shoos me away. "Not yet, I've got to finish this auction first."
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  A depressed horse mutters something about glue.
  
  > Keep going
  Hmm. I can't find anything like that in the coffer.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Next up is Amalgamated Spider Company," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > Bid florin
  What do you want to bid the florin on?
  
  > check your inventory
  In my bag of holding, I have:
  a fish
  a vellum page
  a faery coin
  a florin
  some farming tools
  a fishing rod
  a bottle of clear fluid
  a torn page
  a spell book
  a magic wand
  the mind of a foolish wizard
  
  "...sold!" Hortensia steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > search the coffer for the dolphin
  Got it! I hold it up for the auctioneer. "Thanks. I'm not tipping you."
  
  "Next up is Majestic Dolphin Properties," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > Wait
  All right.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > search the coffer for the bee
  Got it! I hold it up for the auctioneer. "Thanks. I'm not tipping you."
  
  "Now, who wants to own these fine shares of Majestic Bee Corporation?" he asks.
  
  > wait
  All right.
  
  "...sold!" Hortensia steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  Two pigs huddle together, shivering nervously.
  
  > search the coffer for the horse
  Got it! Ack! The auctioneer grabs me and takes the certificate. "You have to actually buy the stock, bird." He shrugs. "Well, I guess this one is as good as any other."
  
  "Next up is Global Horse Acquisitions," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  > search the coffer for the turtle
  The auctioneer shoos me away. "Not yet, I've got to finish this auction first."
  
  "...sold!" Hortensia steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  A depressed horse mutters something about glue.
  
  > search the coffer for the turtle
  Got it! Ack! The auctioneer grabs me and takes the certificate. "You have to actually buy the stock, bird." He shrugs. "Well, I guess this one is as good as any other."
  
  "Now, who wants to own these fine shares of Contemporary Turtle Properties?" he asks.
  
  A small group of cows crowds together, their eyes darting around.
  
  > search the coffer for the manatee
  The auctioneer shoos me away. "Not yet, I've got to finish this auction first."
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  Two pigs huddle together, shivering nervously.
  
  > wait
  All right.
  
  "One!" bids Hortensia.
  
  "Two florins!" declares Professor Demonspoon.
  
  "How about four florins? Do I hear four?"
  
  A depressed horse mutters something about glue.
  
  > search coffer for the porpoise
  Got it! I hold it up for the auctioneer. "Thanks. I'm not tipping you."
  
  "Now, who wants to own these fine shares of Personal Porpoise Company?" he asks.
  
  One of the cows shifts around uncomfortably.
  
  > wait
  All right. Boss, I hate to rush you, but at some point the treasurer is going to figure out where the king wandered off to.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > search the coffer for the narwhal
  Got it! I hold it up for the auctioneer. "Thanks. I'm not tipping you."
  
  "Now, who wants to own these fine shares of Advanced Narwhal Organization?" he asks.
  
  > Wait
  All right.
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  A small group of cows crowds together, their eyes darting around.
  
  > search the coffer for herring
  The auctioneer shoos me away. "Not yet, I've got to finish this auction first."
  
  "...sold!" Professor Demonspoon steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > Keep going
  Hmm. I can't find anything like that in the coffer.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Now, who wants to own these fine shares of Unified Mink Organization?" he asks.
  
  > keep going
  All right.
  
  "...sold!" Percival steps up to the block, pays the auctioneer, takes the stock, and sits down again.
  
  > Wait
  All right. Boss, I hate to rush you, but at some point the treasurer is going to figure out where the king wandered off to.
  
  The merchants are silent.
  
  "Anyone? I'll take just one florin."
  
  > Bid florin on stock
  "Sold to the bird!" The auctioneer exchange the florin for the stock certificate.
  
  He looks at me with a combination of confusion and suspicion. "It's market close, everybody. Thanks for buying. We'll meet again in the morning. I'll set up the stock ticker if you want to see what's going on in the other markets, and I'll stick around for a while if you want to engage in any after-hours trading."
  
  The crowd disperses. The auctioneer locks up the coffer and places a stock ticker on the auction block, then takes out a book and sits down to read.
  
  A depressed horse mutters something about glue.
  
  > sell stock
  (the stock certificate)
  There's no place to sell anything here.
  
  > check your inventory
  In my bag of holding, I have:
  a stock certificate
  a fish
  a vellum page
  a faery coin
  some farming tools
  a fishing rod
  a bottle of clear fluid
  a torn page
  a spell book
  a magic wand
  the mind of a mediocre wizard
  
  > look at the stock
  (the stock ticker)
  The ticker's an upright brass tube. There's a glass bubble on top that's glowing intermittently. The ticker has a red and a yellow button on it, and there's also a panel on the back.
  
  A small group of cows crowds together, their eyes darting around.
  
  > examine the certificate
  It's a stock certificate for a thousand shares of Consolidated Herring Securities. Wow, do you think that means it's good for one thousand herring? That's got to be at least five times as many as I could eat in a one sitting. This thing must be worth...hmm, I paid one florin for it, so....I have no idea.
  
  > look at the bubble
  The ticker's an upright brass tube. There's a glass bubble on top that's glowing intermittently. The ticker has a red and a yellow button on it, and there's also a panel on the back.
  
  > examine the panel
  The panel is currently closed.
  
  > open the panel
  Whoa. Whoa. I'm not sure how to....This thing is complicated
  on the inside. There's a mass of complex parts inside. I think I can see gears, flanges, gadgets, thingies, and doodads. The only part of it I can make sense of is a series of...wossnames...they're kind of like tubes, but they wind around the gears and twist around to...something....
  
  I'm confused, boss. The best I can do to explain this is that there are a bunch of wossnames connected to a bunch of receptacles: a black receptacle containing a black wossname, a brown receptacle containing a brown wossname, a red receptacle containing a red wossname, an orange receptacle containing an orange wossname, a yellow receptacle containing a yellow wossname, and a green receptacle containing a green wossname.