text: [Themes: Puzzle, Humor, Fantasy, old school, humor]
  
  > give the balloon to hedgehog
  The hedgehog starts playing delightedly with the balloon. Whee.
  
  The hedgehog starts to sing:
  
  Singing is the best,
  The best, the best!
  What's the best?
  That's riiiiiiiiight, it's siiiiiiiinging!
  
  The hedgehog's playing with the stupid balloon. "I love you, balloooooon! Have a hug!"
  
  Oh, seriously? Is he really going to---
  
  Gah, those things are loud when they pop. The hedgehog looks dazed. "Oh no! Where did my balloon friend go?"
  
  > pop the balloon
  Pop! Gah! That balloon is loud. Well, that was fun while it
  lasted.
  
  Ha ha. That was a great noise. Oh, hey, I think it scared one of the cows. She's trying to break the fence. Whoa whoa, she did
  break the fence and now all of the cows are mooing really loudly and kind of running and now the pigs are--- woohoo! It's a stampede! Oh, hey, maybe I shouldn't be just standi---- ack!
  
  > Wave rod
  Nothing happens. I think Mel said something about having to destroy the last bait first. Conservation of energy, or something.
  
  > Go east
  The gate's closed, which is a pity since we could probably steal a lot of nice stuff if we could get into the throne room or the king's bedroom. But the castle's sealed up while the treasurer tries to figure out where the king's wandered off to, and I'm not going to attempt to peck my way through the giant wooden doors. There's a window above me leading to the room your body is in. There's farmland to the west, and Big Street is north.
  
  My hanging-out tree is here.
  
  "Food! Food for meeeeee! Oh---
  
  Is a happy happy hooooog!
  It's a good day for eating
  And singiiiiiiiing!
  
  Good job. Now he's singing louder.
  
  > Wave wand
  Nothing happens. I think Mel said something about having to destroy the last coin first. Conservation of energy, or something.
  
  The hedgehog starts to sing:
  
  Is a happy happy hog!
  It's a good day for eating
  And siiiiiiiiiiiinging!
  
  "Oh oh! Hey! Hey! Can I have that? It looks delicious! I love food. Don't you love food? Oh hog oh hog I love food."
  
  > Inventory
  In my bag of holding, I have:
  a faery coin
  a florin
  a torn bit of wool
  a vellum page
  some farming tools
  a fish
  a fishing rod
  a bottle of clear fluid
  a bottle of blue dye
  a torn page
  a spell book
  a magic wand
  the mind of a mediocre wizard
  
  "Oh oh! Hey! Hey! Can I have that? It looks delicious! I love food. Don't you love food? Oh hog oh hog I love food."
  
  > Wave rod
  Pfwarmp! An earthworm materializes in the air in front of me
  and drops to the floor.
  
  "Oh oh! Hey! Hey! Can I have that? It looks delicious! I love food. Don't you love food? Oh hog oh hog I love food."
  
  > Wave rod
  "Food! Food for meeeeee! Oh---
  
  Is a happy happy hooooog!
  It's a good day for eating
  And singiiiiiiiing!
  
  Good job. Now he's singing louder.
  
  "Oh oh! Hey! Hey! Can I have that? It looks delicious! I love food. Don't you love food? Oh hog oh hog I love food."
  I can't see any such thing.
  
  > Wave rod
  Pfwarmp! An earthworm materializes in the air in front of me
  and drops to the floor.
  
  The hedgehog starts to sing:
  
  Singing is the best,
  The best, the best!
  What's the best?
  That's riiiiiiiiight, it's siiiiiiiinging!
  
  > take the earthworm
  Taken.
  
  The hedgehog starts to sing:
  
  Doop de dooooooo,
  It's a round life for meeeeee!
  We're roly and poly
  And hedgyhogoly,
  A life in the hedge is for meeeeee!
  
  "Oh oh! Hey! Hey! Can I have that? It looks delicious! I love food. Don't you love food? Oh hog oh hog I love food."
  
  > go to the north-east
  This is the floor of the stock market, and it's full of animals. There's hooting and honking and barking and mooing. I'm getting hungry just looking at their pen. From here, I can go south to the bank or southwest to Big Street.
  
  Some merchants crowd around an auctioneer, doing whatever it is that humans do.
  
  I can also see a red balloon, a coffer (which is open), and an auction block here.
  
  The auctioneer fishes around in the coffer, pulls out a stock, and puts it on the auction block.
  
  "Next up is Reliable Gopher Group," he says. "Any bids?"
  
  The hedgehog enters from the southwest.
  
  > go south
  Let me tell you, these walls gleam. They're made of Marmoreal
  marble, known for the gold lines running through it. The floors and ceilings are made of the same material. The lobby of the bank is fairly open. There are exits to the north and west leading outside, and the bank continues to the east. There's also a table with forms and stuff.
  
  > eat the earthworm
  Chomp. Very tasty.
  To the the north, I hear a cow cry out, "Augh, it's the Farmer! The Farmer is coming! It's the Farmer! Oh no oh no oh no oh no run run run run run runrunrunrunrun!"
  
  > Go north
  This the floor of the stock market, though the pen is sadly empty now. From here, I can go south to the bank or southwest to Big Street.
  
  Some merchants crowd around an auctioneer, doing whatever it is that humans do.
  
  I can also see a coffer (which is open) and an auction block (on top of which is a stock certificate) here.
  
  "One!" declares F'nyrx.
  
  "Two!" declares Elspeth.
  
  "Four florins!" bids Hortensia.
  
  "Eight florins!" bids Professor Demonspoon.
  
  "How about sixteen florins? Do I hear sixteen?"
  
  This is great, boss! There are cows and pigs and ducks and sheep and more cows, and all of them are rushing towards me. Wow, it's a stampede! Oh, hey, maybe I shouldn't be just stand---- ack!
  
  > go to the west
  Big Street, North End
  This is the heart of Moneyville, the financial district. There's a bank, the stock market, money changers--- you want to spend and get money, you come here. This is a terrible part of town for getting food, but it's a great place for shiny, shiny gold. Everything here sparkles. Yeah...coins everywhere....Oh, sorry. I spaced out for a minute there.
  
  I can go west deeper into the city if you want me to get harrassed by guards. The bank's east of here and the stock market's northeast, and Big Street continues to the south.
  
  The two halves of a broken black cord hang down from the guard tower and the bank.
  
  Augh! It's a cow quake! Cows and dogs and pigs and chickens and at least one wildebeest charge in from the north, screaming and bleating.
  
  "Help! We're running!"
  
  "Whee! We're running!"
  
  "I'm going to get stepped on!"
  
  "Panic! Panic panic panic!"
  
  "Freedom! Panic! Freedom!"
  
  This is a breathtaking, mouth-watering sight, boss, but it might be a bit dangerous to hang around a horde of stampeding animals.
  
  > go south
  Big Street, Center
  Big Street is as big here as it is further to the south, although people have set up stalls in the middle, so it's more crowded. Mel's is to the east. We might be able to find something useful there. The financial district is farther north.
  
  Sandie's Hot Meats stall is here. Sandie's at the counter.
  
  The stampede charges in from the south.
  
  Sandie whips out a ladle and starts beating back some dogs that look more hungry than scared.
  
  > go south
  Big Street, South End
  Big Street is the main street in the city. It's big enough for four wagons to pass side by side (hence the name), and it's actually cobbles instead of dirt like all the other roads. There are various shops selling clothes and other things we don't care about. This stretch of the road is pretty boring, but the financial district is farther north, and the castle is to the south.
  
  I can see a beggar here.
  
  The stampede charges in from the south.
  
  > wait for a while
  All right. Boss, I hate to rush you, but at some point the treasurer is going to figure out where the king wandered off to.
  
  This is great, boss! There are cows and pigs and ducks and sheep and more cows, and all of them are rushing towards me. Wow, it's a stampede! Oh, hey, maybe I shouldn't be just stand---- ack!
  
  > take the coin
  Which do you mean, the strange coin, the faery coin, or the florin?
  
  > take strange
  Yeah, try to hear me through the stampede. Yoink!
  
  Taken.
  
  This is great, boss! There are cows and pigs and ducks and sheep and more cows, and all of them are rushing towards me. Wow, it's a stampede! Oh, hey, maybe I shouldn't be just stand---- ack!
  
  > Up
  The gate's closed, which is a pity since we could probably steal a lot of nice stuff if we could get into the throne room or the king's bedroom. But the castle's sealed up while the treasurer tries to figure out where the king's wandered off to, and I'm not going to attempt to peck my way through the giant wooden doors. There's a window above me leading to the room your body is in. There's farmland to the west, and Big Street is north.
  
  My hanging-out tree is here.
  
  The stampede charges in from the south.
  
  It's kind of boring here. I hear the king hasn't put anybody in the dungeon in over a year. Must make you feel special. It's drafty, being up in the tower, and the stones in the wall have chips and various--- do you really care? They're old. The door looks pretty sturdy. There's some light coming into the room from a window about, uh, twice your height up. Can we leave?
  
  I can see a tapestry, a bed, a mirror, and an annoying git in a dress here.