text: [Themes: Mystery, Slice of life, house setting]
  
  > Look around
  You are at the north-east corner of the garden, marked by thick impenetrable hedges to the north and east, and a delicate flowerbed lies south. A single apple tree stands here; its trunk looks fragile, and splits prematurely into smaller branches at waist level.
  
  You can see a cooking apple here.
  
  The grey sky overhead turns a little darker, threatening rain.
  
  > take the apple
  Taken.
  
  > look at it
  A small, heavy and unappetising cooking apple.
  
  > Go south
  The gate to the south is open.
  
  By the side of the path, among the flowers, is a dark patch of earth.
  
  > Go south
  The gate to the north is open.
  
  You can feel a few spots of rain on your face.
  
  > throw the apple at the window
  Which do you mean, the attic window vent or the bathroom window?
  
  > look at the vent
  A tiny window which, you presume, allows only a minimal amount of light into the attic. Its certainly not big enough for any person to get through, should they lose their keys and find that that is the only window open. As you watch, you suddenly glimpse a flicker of movement, but it might just be your eyes playing tricks on you.
  
  > examine the bathroom window
  You can't really see much through the large frosted glass window, but there certainly isn't any movement.
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.
  
  > throw the apple at the bathroom window
  You throw the apple at the bathroom window, and it hits its target with pinpoint accuracy, smashing a hole through the glass. The burglar alarm screams into action, and the poor chap who was in there at the time, probably trying to hide from the other guests, pops up at the window and stares down at you. "Stop! Burglar!" he yells, not considering the fact that it would be extremely stupid of a real burglar to smash an upstairs window when two whole families were in the manor.
  
  That doesn't really matter now, because the security guard, having heard the yelling, charges round from the front of the building and grabs you virtually from the scruff of the neck. "Right, you, you're nicked!" he bellows triumphantly.
  
  Soon, the police arrive, and you are carted off to the station to explain yourself. By the time Malcolm arrives to bail you out, it is too late to save the wedding - it has been called off permanently.
  
  Some would say that this is a victory, but alas, as far as this game is concerned...
  
  > throw the apple at the vent
  You throw the apple at the small window vent, and grin with pride to see it hit its target perfectly and shatter the glass. Suddenly, the burglar alarm screams out, and the sounds of general panic can be heard from inside. Spookily, though, no one looks out at you from the windows, and the security guard does not appear.
  
  Strange, really, as you could have sworn you saw movement behind the vent. You'd have thought the person up there would have given the game away.
  
  As for the apple, well, it looks like you won't get to enjoy that tangy fruit flavour after all.
  
  Sunshine momentarily bursts out through the grey cloud cover.
  
  You can hear an alarm screeching.
  
  > go east
  You make your way around the eastern side of the house, and find yourself at...
  
  You can hear an alarm screeching.
  
  > go north
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > examine the bell
  It is a simple push bell painted gold.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > tell the mother about yourself
  She appears not to have heard you, though you can't shake the feeling that she considers you too lowly a person to grace with an answer.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  You can hear the security guard moving about close by...
  
  > open the cupboard
  It seems to be locked.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  You can hear the security guard moving about close by...
  
  > Go north
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  Scamp, the family dog, sits and whines, his lead tied to a door handle.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  You can hear the security guard moving about close by...
  
  > untie the dog
  You release Scamp and he shows his appreciation by leaping up at you and licking your face. You quickly rise from crouching, not really liking the idea of dog saliva on your cheeks, and Scamp quickly loses interest in you.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  By the sound of it, the security guard is getting closer...
  
  > go to the north
  This vast room is presumably where the D'Arcy clan eat their meals; it reminds you too much of your old school dinner hall for you to feel entirely comfortable here. A large sturdy table sits in the centre of the room, surrounded by ten carefully-crafted chairs, and a set of antique jugs rest on stools in a small alcove in the west wall. The walls are covered in paintings which look impressive until you examine them closely and see that they are certainly not in the league of the great masters. The back garden is accessible via a door to the north, a corridor leads south, and the kitchen is through the swing doors to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  By the sound of it, the security guard is getting closer...
  
  > ask Albert about the wedding
  "Damn nuisance, eh? Still, I might get a chance to nip out for a game of crazy golf later."
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  The security guard marches neatly up to you and seizes you by the collar. "The alarm might have been playing up," he says, "but at least I've found myself another intruder!" To your great relief, he doesn't beat you up or call the police, but rather ejects you out onto the car park. "And don't try to sneak back in, understood?"
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  > Go north
  You can't, since the hall door is in the way.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  The security guard marches neatly up to you and seizes you by the collar. "The alarm might have been playing up," he says, "but at least I've found myself another intruder!" To your great relief, he doesn't beat you up or call the police, but rather ejects you out onto the car park. "And don't try to sneak back in, understood?"
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  > open the hall door
  It seems to be locked.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  The security guard marches neatly up to you and seizes you by the collar. "The alarm might have been playing up," he says, "but at least I've found myself another intruder!" To your great relief, he doesn't beat you up or call the police, but rather ejects you out onto the car park. "And don't try to sneak back in, understood?"
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.
  
  > throw the apple at the vent
  You throw the apple at the small window vent, and grin with pride to see it hit its target perfectly and shatter the glass. Suddenly, the burglar alarm screams out, and the sounds of general panic can be heard from inside. Spookily, though, no one looks out at you from the windows, and the security guard does not appear.
  
  Strange, really, as you could have sworn you saw movement behind the vent. You'd have thought the person up there would have given the game away.
  
  As for the apple, well, it looks like you won't get to enjoy that tangy fruit flavour after all.
  
  You can hear an alarm screeching.
  
  > Go east
  You make your way around the eastern side of the house, and find yourself at...
  
  You can feel a few spots of rain on your face.
  
  You can hear an alarm screeching.
  
  > go to the north
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  Scamp, the family dog, sits and whines, his lead tied to a door handle.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > go to the north
  This vast room is presumably where the D'Arcy clan eat their meals; it reminds you too much of your old school dinner hall for you to feel entirely comfortable here. A large sturdy table sits in the centre of the room, surrounded by ten carefully-crafted chairs, and a set of antique jugs rest on stools in a small alcove in the west wall. The walls are covered in paintings which look impressive until you examine them closely and see that they are certainly not in the league of the great masters. The back garden is accessible via a door to the north, a corridor leads south, and the kitchen is through the swing doors to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > unlock the hall door
  What do you want to unlock the hall door with?
  
  > examine the hall door
  A door connecting the patio outside with the dining hall inside.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > Go east
  The kitchen staff are hard at work on the meal for the reception, and from their progress so far, you'd say that they are making enough food to keep the Royal family well fed for a good few months. To the west, a swing-door leads into the dining hall, and the main exit is to the southwest. A pantry lies to the south.
  
  A pompous and temperamental chef stands around shouting at the staff and chopping things up.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > go south
  Should Luxembourg ever suffer a famine, they need only raid this pantry to ensure that their citizens don't starve. The fruit, vegetables, meat, ingredients and drinks are all stored using technology that would put Nasa's space programme to shame. There is a tradesman's entrance to the east, but the main exit is to the north.
  
  A wedding programme lies unloved on the floor.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > Go east
  The door won't open.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > get the programme
  Taken.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  > read it
  This is the first draft of the wedding programme, which has since been chopped down and simplified. It contains details of all the involved parties and the guests, and was probably deemed unsuitable for fear of libel charges being brought against the authors. You'd need to consult it in more detail to find out about the people involved.
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  You can hear the security guard moving about close by...
  
  > look up ALBERT in the programme
  "ALBERT HARDCASTLE, uncle of the groom, is a famous sociologist and keen golfer. He wishes his brother would join the twentieth century and stop fussing so much over female vicars."
  
  An alarm screeches from somewhere outside the house.
  
  You can hear the security guard moving about close by...