text: [Themes: Fantasy, surreal, transformation]
  
  > Go downwards
  You get off the fuzzy looking wall.
  
  Er, Train Terrain
  You're in a train station. The tracks are east and, it seems, so is the noise--it's louder here than anywhere else. You suspect the darkness to the east is where your destiny lies.
  
  You could go back north, and there's a fuzzy looking wall to the west, too. You notice pointed art and a faded ad on it, but the small recess near the top seems more useful. A rail is to the east--it's no longer sparking.
  
  > examine the art
  It's a typical train depot PSA saying "DON'T PIRATE." You hope the creator wasn't paid. Rotten stuff.
  
  > go to the east
  You go east but reach a thin ledge. It needs to be lightened before you go further. You have no item to help with that.
  
  > Go north
  This is some sort of seedy underground intersection with a train station south. You can also go north to what looks like a camp. You see the down escalator you came by. A building to the west advertises itself as The Ol' Hotel.
  
  A large metallic door is to the east. It has a warning graphic repelling any old riff-raff from entering. There's also a sensor off to the side.
  
  > Go east
  You swipe your keycard and go east as the door opens.
  
  It's quiet here, mostly due to the soundproofed walls. It'd make a nice mob combine, but it's a small bunker for nerds who just got sick of the thumping.
  
  A large metallic door is to the west. It's got no sensor on this side, so you can probably just walk back through it.
  
  You can also see some nerds and a lit-up tulip here.
  
  "...butler I rebuilt!"
  
  > ask nerds about the ledge
  More annoying banter. Perhaps you could disperse them with the right item. They'd deserve it. Though maybe if you keep bugging them, they'll get exasperated and give you better hints than what to ask nerds about.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > Inventory
  Item time! You are carrying:
  a keycard
  a termite emitter
  a sheath
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  > turn on the machine
  It's empty now.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > examine info-lit
  Reason So Near from Sane Sean, Farce Facer and Saltier Realist:
  --If you can change stuff, why can't the people who made the gadget and slider? Or why couldn't they find someone off the street? Perhaps they're the real enemy and you're the pawn.
  --If they really wanted you to clean things up, why can't you take both the cabinet items?
  --That NEW DOOR is not really ONE WORD. Same as the guy who can lift it! They are two short words, easier than one big scary seven-letter word.
  --Anyone smart enough to untangle this world won't get any fulfillment from doing so. So there, stupider disputer!
  
  It'd all be distressingly persuasive gotcha-logic if you hadn't been able to flip that toga. But this is a fantasy world, so there's a chance he's wrong.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > ask the nerds about the rail
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  Someone shows how he cut down a stupider disputer. Others agree, eager.
  
  > ask the nerds about the thin ledge
  They form a grin ring, but you close your eyes a bit.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > Scan machine
  The slider makes no noise.
  
  "Since I'm not omniscient..." Ish, note his tone. Sarcastic, arctic ass.
  
  > ask the nerds about thin ledge
  "You might as well ask dorks like Karkdoss about something that inconsequential!"
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  > ask the nerds about the slider
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > ask the nerds about the Store
  Which do you mean, store b, store c, store d, store e, store f, store g, store h, store i, store j, store k, store l, store m, store n, store o, store p, store q, store r, store s, store t, store u, store v, store w, store x, store y or store z?
  
  > ask the nerds about the store r.
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > ask the nerds about the store m.
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > take tulip
  Someone shoots a hand out. "You have to ASK NERDS the right thing before you can get it. What do you want it for? ASK us, don't TELL us."
  
  That was kind of abrasive. You think of the places you haven't been and the obstacles to getting there.
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  > ask NERDS about the light
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  A conceders' crescendo follows a claim nerds'd LIKE to help everyday stupid people.
  
  > ask NERDS about the lair
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  "...butler I rebuilt!"
  
  > ask NERDS about the train
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > go north
  Here in this cross between a platform and farm plot lie the shocking red tents of the terminally un- and under-employed. You are quickly excluded from this once-mum commune, since you seem actually busy. An alley lies to the west, a posh shop is to the east, and back south is where you started from.
  
  The cordoned red condo you're not welcome back at is to the north. You hear painful music.
  
  A deadbeat is sitting on the ground here, looking dead beat. Despite your heroism with the cake in the condo, he barely acknolwedges you.
  
  > ask the deadbeat about the sheath
  He doesn't seem to know much about that. You'd be worried if he could help you much, actually.
  
  > scan dead beat
  "Whoah, don't tase me, bro. I have civil rights!"
  
  > Go south
  This is some sort of seedy underground intersection with a train station south. You can also go north to what looks like a camp. You see the down escalator you came by. A building to the west advertises itself as The Ol' Hotel.
  
  A large metallic door is to the east. It has a warning graphic repelling any old riff-raff from entering. There's also a sensor off to the side.
  
  > go to the west
  What would a beaten-down city be without an ol' hotel? Both have seen better days, but this place has been trashed hardest. Everything's boarded up, and the only way out is east.
  
  A ketchup bottle lies here, torn apart--and you have a prime suspect in the Night Thing that was here.
  
  The mattress still conforms to the shape of the night thing that sat on it.
  
  > Go south
  Er, Train Terrain
  You're in a train station. The tracks are east and, it seems, so is the noise--it's louder here than anywhere else. You suspect the darkness to the east is where your destiny lies.
  
  You could go back north, and there's a fuzzy looking wall to the west, too. You notice pointed art and a faded ad on it, but the small recess near the top seems more useful. A rail is to the east--it's no longer sparking.
  
  > read the ad
  It references some dead fad while proclaiming TRANSIT FOR ARTISAN AND TSARINA.
  
  > examine the art
  It's a typical train depot PSA saying "DON'T PIRATE." You hope the creator wasn't paid. Rotten stuff.
  
  > go to the east
  You go east but reach a thin ledge. It needs to be lightened before you go further. You have no item to help with that.
  
  > read the PAD
  You just like it. The color, the feel. Other people have computers, but your notepad is yours. Currently you can consult it about: --notepad, lecture, stores, goat
  --board
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  Item time! You are carrying:
  a keycard
  a termite emitter
  a sheath
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  > consult the PAD about the board
  You're past the bit about the introductory puzzles, and you note you only need to solve two regions
  
  > go west
  The big fuzzy wall is that way.
  
  The tracks are east, and the city is back north.
  
  > Go north
  This is some sort of seedy underground intersection with a train station south. You can also go north to what looks like a camp. You see the down escalator you came by. A building to the west advertises itself as The Ol' Hotel.
  
  A large metallic door is to the east. It has a warning graphic repelling any old riff-raff from entering. There's also a sensor off to the side.
  
  > Up
  Everything starts okay, but just as you get a glimpse of the top, the escalator starts speeding down more quickly. You try jumping a step, but it doesn't matter. Eventually, you're thrown to the bottom of the escalator, a bit more tired than before.
  
  > ask NERDS about the burdell
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > ask NERDS about the trick
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  > ask NERDS about the pirate
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > ask NERDS about tinfoil
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct.
  
  "...butler I rebuilt!"
  
  > ask NERDS about the noise
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > Inventory
  Item time! You are carrying:
  a keycard
  a termite emitter
  a sheath
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > examine the sheath
  It's a dull grey, with the words FOR GREAT QUIETNESS inscribed in some Gothic font.
  
  Someone shows how he cut down a stupider disputer. Others agree, eager.
  
  > examine emitter
  It's a small black box, six inches by six inches. It's empty now, you hope. Someone has scratched a circle with a line through it over a dollar sign. It's probably empty after your hijinks.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"