text: [Themes: Fantasy, humor]
  
  > Go down
  Row after row of tightly packed seats, with minimal padding, sharp corners, and ratty seat belts. A movie screen swings above one seat; an open overhead compartment limits the headroom in this section. Various half-eaten corpses of economy passengers lay strewn about, with crustaceans crawling over many of them.
  
  You can see a broken banjo, a cod, and a cart here.
  
  > put the cod on the cart
  You need to be holding the cod before you can put him on top of something else.
  
  The rather large cod swims around, looking for food.
  
  The plane shudders, then angles downward just a bit more.
  
  > get the cod
  You're sure it would snap your fingers off if you tried!
  
  Salt water rolls down your cheek and into your mouth.
  
  > use the wand on the cod
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you witness the PUSH spell, which sends things to limbo.
  
  The cod suddenly blinks out of existence!
  
  Seriously. When this ordeal is over, you're definitely going to put in for that pay raise.
  
  > use the wand on the cart
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you realize it's the BALANCE spell, which summons elements to even out a situation.
  
  You hear a strange tingling sound; a large cod fish suddenly materializes.
  
  The rather large cod swims around, looking for food.
  
  > use the wand on the cod
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you discover it's the JIGGER spell, which un-jams things.
  
  The cod vibrates a bit, but nothing else happens.
  
  > use the wand on the cod
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you watch the POP spell surface, which returns things from limbo.
  
  Nothing happens.
  
  The rather large cod swims around, looking for food.
  
  > use the wand on the cod
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you quickly recognize the FREEZE spell, which magically holds things fixed in place.
  
  A bolt of icy-blue lightning shoots from the wand towards the cod, freezing him instantly.
  
  The hull creaks and groans from stress. You wonder how much time you have.
  
  > get the cod
  You can't do that; the cod appears to be frozen, and thus impervious to all interaction.
  
  Some water drips onto your head from a ceiling leak somewhere.
  
  > put the cod on the cart
  You can't do that; the cod appears to be frozen, and thus impervious to all interaction.
  
  > use the wand on the cart
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you quickly recognize the FREEZE spell, which magically holds things fixed in place.
  
  A bolt of icy-blue lightning shoots from the wand towards the cart, freezing it instantly.
  
  The rather large cod swims around, looking for food.
  
  > use the wand on the cod
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you witness the PUSH spell, which sends things to limbo.
  
  The cod suddenly blinks out of existence!
  
  > ascend
  A stainless steel compartment between the self-absorbed slobs in business class up ahead and the unwashed masses and screaming babies in economy down below. Interestingly, whereas other parts of the plane are sloshing in a foot of water, this area remains totally dry.
  
  On the counter is a microwave (empty).
  
  > Go upward
  Rows of seats that are spaced the way economy seats used to be spaced about five years ago. It is enough to make the gullible mortals feel superior to those in economy, while still stripping them subtly of their humanity. It is your favorite section of the plane.
  
  Northward, a narrow, staircase spirals toward to the first class section. Just above the business class is the bulkhead that leads to the cockpit.
  
  Over in seat 31A, a schoolmarm-ish woman is too exhausted to make a sound.
  
  The lobster mob pulsates and wiggles threateningly at you, claws at the ready.
  
  You can also see a staircase and an open bulkhead here.
  
  > use the wand on yourself
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you realize it's the BALANCE spell, which summons elements to even out a situation.
  
  Your attempt to summon a creature, but the sheer quantity of radiant animal magic overpowers your wand. There will be no summoning in Business class today.
  
  You mumble to yourself. How did the Forces of Banality located this plane so quickly? This is definitely above your pay grade.
  
  > use the wand on yourself
  The wand glows with energy as you flick it... and you watch the POP spell surface, which returns things from limbo.
  
  Out of nowhere, a cod suddenly appears!
  
  Fedora-brimmed lobster mobsters snear at the lone cod, like bullies on a playgroud. The mob boss, a three-and-a-half pounder with only one claw, steps forward, gesturing wildly with the Gl?ck in his good claw.
  
  "Well," he taunts, "if it ain't the natural enemy of the lobster, Gadus morhua, the Atlantic Cod." At the mention of his taxonomic classification, some of the younger lobsters looks worried, their antennae flitting back and forth in concern. The boss continues brashly, "Boys, I think tonight's main dish is... sushi!
  
  The boss looks back at his mob, and there is a murmur of agreement. Before the boss is done gloating, however, the  fish pulls a modified Kalashnikov assault rifle from its bulky trenchcoat.
  
  One of the hench-lobsters barely has time to say, "Boss, watch out for the cod piece!" before the silver-scaled avenger lets loose with a barrage of phosphor-tipped rounds, which both cook and mince the lobster meat into a tasty salad. The passengers in the business section, who are used to such things, merely assume it is the inflight meal, and quickly polish off the remains of the former gang.
  
  The cod, having rebalanced the karmic forces of the universe, happily blinks out of existence.
  
  You hear the clickety-clack of angry claws somewhere nearby.