text: > Look around
  Soggy leaves hang limply from the trees here, and thick clouds drift slowly overhead. A battered blacksmith's forge lies to the east, shrouded on all sides by the trees of the forest.
  
  > go to the north
  This part of the forest is horribly cold and damp, and brambles scratch and pull at you as you pass. To the north and south the undergrowth clears a little. The forest continues freely in all other directions. You hear a noise from the forest. Micky emerges from the undergrowth in a daze. His eyes are unfocussed and look straight through you, as if you weren't there.
  "You," screams Micky. "You're the one who's destroyed my peace and quiet. I won't have it I tell you!" He slowly stands up and waves his fist at you. He slowly works himself into a rage. He slowly moves toward you. If you hadn't spent so much time worrying over the dreadful grammar, you might have seen him land the karate chop that broke your neck...
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A smooth warp, a jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying some tongs, a mould and a hammer.
  You are wearing some jeans, a herringbone overcoat and some asbestos gloves.
  You hear a noise from the forest. Micky emerges from the undergrowth in a daze. His eyes are unfocussed and look straight through you, as if you weren't there.
  "You," screams Micky. "You're the one who's destroyed my peace and quiet. I won't have it I tell you!" He slowly stands up and waves his fist at you. He slowly works himself into a rage. He slowly moves toward you. If you hadn't spent so much time worrying over the dreadful grammar, you might have seen him land the karate chop that broke your neck...
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A smooth warp, a jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > go west
  The forest gets deeper and darker here. The brambles seem to have a life of their own. They snatch at your clothes. Your efforts to get through are futile. You are forced back.
  Charred Glade
  This unpleasant scene is clear evidence that the hand of man has set foot here. The trees have been damaged by fire, and, on closer inspection, you notice the entrance to a mine leading down.
  Some feathers are strewn about (almost enough to make a duvet).
  You hear a noise from the forest. Micky emerges from the undergrowth in a daze. His eyes are unfocussed and look straight through you, as if you weren't there.
  "You," screams Micky. "You're the one who's destroyed my peace and quiet. I won't have it I tell you!" He slowly stands up and waves his fist at you. He slowly works himself into a rage. He slowly moves toward you. If you hadn't spent so much time worrying over the dreadful grammar, you might have seen him land the karate chop that broke your neck...
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A smooth warp, a jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying some tongs, a mould and a hammer.
  You are wearing some jeans, a herringbone overcoat and some asbestos gloves.
  
  > look in the Mould
  But the mould is closed.
  
  > drop the Mould
  The mould falls to the ground and breaks. You don't jump out of the way quick enough and the molten gold splashes over your legs. Molten gold is hot. Very hot. Sufficiently hot to vapourise your skin and melt all the way down to the bone. Fortunately, you go into a state of shock before the really gruesome stuff starts, slipping out of the host-parasite interface like an expert. You reel and rock through the dimensions, screaming with pain until you hit a goldfish's body with a wet slap.
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A smooth warp, a jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  You hear a noise from the forest. Micky emerges from the undergrowth in a daze. His eyes are unfocussed and look straight through you, as if you weren't there.
  "You," screams Micky. "You're the one who's destroyed my peace and quiet. I won't have it I tell you!" He slowly stands up and waves his fist at you. He slowly works himself into a rage. He slowly moves toward you. If you hadn't spent so much time worrying over the dreadful grammar, you might have seen him land the karate chop that broke your neck...
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A smooth warp, a jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > open the cage
  But the bird cage is already open.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying a gold disc.
  You are wearing some jeans and a herringbone overcoat.
  
  > drop it
  Mould dropped.
  
  > GET TONGS, HAMMER, CRUCIBLE, MOULD, GLOVES
  You have now got the tongs.
  Hammer taken.
  Crucible taken.
  Mould taken.
  Asbestos gloves taken.
  
  > wear the gloves
  You put on the asbestos gloves.
  
  > pour Crucible into the Mould
  But the crucible is empty.
  
  > GET HAMMER, TONGS, CRUCIBLE, MOULD, GLOVES
  You have now got the hammer.
  Tongs taken.
  Crucible taken.
  Mould taken.
  Asbestos gloves taken.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes.
  The mould has now cooled.
  
  > hit the Mould with the hammer
  The mould shatters into a fine dust, leaving you with a crudely cast gold ring.
  
  > look at the ring
  The gold ring is of slightly dodgy craftsmanship.
  
  > get the ring
  As you take the ring, a well-aimed stone knocks it from your grasp. You hear a "Gweek" sound and see one of the Fins emerging from the bushes with an evil grin on his face. You dive for the ring, getting there a split second before him. As your fingers close round it, the world shimmers, sending you spiralling through the dimensions. With that you slap hard into the goldfish's body, leaving the ring to float effortlessly into the glass box. "Brilliant display Agent 10," says Sir Playfair, "I thought they had you that time. I'm sending you back to the bowl. Panchax out"
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > enter the jagged portal
  
  > Enter
  The dimensions flash past as you swim through the small warp and slide into the host-parasite interface with consumate ease. Another human. Work, work, work!
  
  Lounge areas in recording studios are usually for one purpose only, and that's to lull musicians into a false sense of the value of time. They'll sit in the comfortable sofa, drinking coffee and watching promo videos on the television here, all the while running up huge bills at the standard hourly rate. But they can afford it. Through a glass door to the north is an office. The only other exits are east and west.
  A waste bin is standing in the corner. Rod is loafing around, as tape ops are wont to do.
  An important-looking beetroot-faced producer enters the room behind you. "You," he shouts charmingly, "make some coffee or you're fired!" He strides out.
  
  > turn on the television
  The screen bursts into life showing the latest Seven Deadly Fins promo. Only one thing wrong - no sound. You twiddle a few knobs and jiggle a few leads, but nothing happens, so you turn it off to avoid being caught making a fool of yourself.
  The producer's voice booms from the distance, "Rod! What are you doing? I need a tape changing." "Coming," shouts Rod. "I'd better go," he says, rushing out, "it's best not to upset him."
  
  > About yourself
  You are a tall human being with arms and legs. Somewhat surprisingly, you don't have any fishy traits at all.
  
  > make the coffee
  How?
  
  > look in the bin
  The waste bin contains a ferric oxide cassette.
  
  > go to the west
  This east-west hallway has a blue door in the north wall which leads to the main studio. The light by the door is red, indicating that someone is playing at the moment. To the south is a locked door marked 'KITCHEN'.
  
  > go to the west
  This is as far as the studio goes. On a first date, anyway. A wooden door with a switch by it is to the south and the secondary control room door, with a light by it, is northward. The hallway runs back to the east.
  
  > Go east
  This east-west hallway has a blue door in the north wall which leads to the main studio. The light by the door is red, indicating that someone is playing at the moment. To the south is a locked door marked 'KITCHEN'.
  The producer's menacing voice echoes ominously round the whole studio: "If I haven't got my coffee in five minutes there'll be trouble."
  
  > Go east
  Lounge areas in recording studios are usually for one purpose only, and that's to lull musicians into a false sense of the value of time. They'll sit in the comfortable sofa, drinking coffee and watching promo videos on the television here, all the while running up huge bills at the standard hourly rate. But they can afford it. Through a glass door to the north is an office. The only other exits are east and west.
  A waste bin is standing in the corner.
  
  > go to the east
  By the prominently displayed gold discs this must be the entrance to an up-market recording studio, possibly somewhere in London. There is a lounge to the west and the exit to the street is east, through a large wooden door.
  
  > Go east
  You smash your nose against the door. You must open it before you can go that way. (The door or the nose?- The door, idiot.)
  
  > go east
  It's night, dark, and cars are flashing past on this busy road with disturbing regularity. Disturbing because the host-parasite interface is in danger. You start to feel a bit odd, and reach out for the door to support you. Your head is spinning and you're finding it hard to concentrate. Just before you lose consciousness, you fling the door open and fall back inside the studio. Slamming the door behind you, you take a few deep breaths to recover.
  Entrance Hall
  By the prominently displayed gold discs this must be the entrance to an up-market recording studio, possibly somewhere in London. There is a lounge to the west and the exit to the street is east, through a large wooden door.
  
  > go west
  Lounge areas in recording studios are usually for one purpose only, and that's to lull musicians into a false sense of the value of time. They'll sit in the comfortable sofa, drinking coffee and watching promo videos on the television here, all the while running up huge bills at the standard hourly rate. But they can afford it. Through a glass door to the north is an office. The only other exits are east and west.
  A waste bin is standing in the corner.
  The producer storms into the room, his beetroot face twitching with rage. "Where's my coffee?" he screams, pointing at you, "Why haven't you made it?" You try to blurt out an excuse but he just rants on. "Rod makes coffee when he's asked. No questions. It's there in five minutes. He can have your job. You're fired. Now get out." He grabs you with his sweaty hand and leads you out onto the street. "I never want to see you again," he shouts, slamming the wooden door.
  Busy Street
  It's night, dark, and cars are flashing past on this busy road with disturbing regularity. Disturbing because the host-parasite interface is in danger. You start to feel a bit odd, and reach out for the door to support you. Your head is spinning and you're finding it hard to concentrate. The door won't open and the host-parasite interface collapses, hurling you through the dimensions slap bang into a goldfish's body inside a tacky plastic castle. This looks familiar. Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > enter the jagged warp
  The dimensions flash past as you swim through the jagged warp and slide into the host-parasite interface with consumate ease. Another human. Work, work, work!
  
  Not the best place to sleep. It's very cold and more than slightly damp, but still better than sleeping outside. The icy draught is coming from the front of the van to the south.
  An old blanket lies next to you and some jeans have been thrown down on the floor.
  
  > enter the small warp
  The dimensions flash past as you swim through the small warp and slide into the host-parasite interface with consumate ease. Another human. Work, work, work!
  
  Lounge areas in recording studios are usually for one purpose only, and that's to lull musicians into a false sense of the value of time. They'll sit in the comfortable sofa, drinking coffee and watching promo videos on the television here, all the while running up huge bills at the standard hourly rate. But they can afford it. Through a glass door to the north is an office. The only other exits are east and west. There is a ferric oxide cassette and a waste bin is standing in the corner here. Rod is loafing around, as tape ops are wont to do.
  An important-looking beetroot-faced producer enters the room behind you. "You," he shouts charmingly, "make some coffee or you're fired!" He strides out.
  
  > ask Rod about the coffee
  Rod says, "Coffee, strong coffee, keeps the band in the right state of tension to help them capture those special moments."
  The producer's voice booms from the distance, "Rod! What are you doing? I need a tape changing." "Coming," shouts Rod. "I'd better go," he says, rushing out, "it's best not to upset him."
  
  > make the coffee
  "Sure thing," says Rod, rushing down the corridor. You hear the kitchen door slam, then a few seconds later it slams again as Rod comes out. "That's the way to do it," he beams as he returns, holding a steaming mug of coffee.
  The producer's voice booms from the distance, "Rod! What are you doing? I need a tape changing." "I'm making the coffee," replies Rod. The producer appears and grabs the mug. He looks at you and smiles a sickly smile as Rod leaves. "Well done," he says, taking a slurp, "you'll go far in this business; you've already learnt the golden rule: if in doubt, delegate." Then he stomps out, looking pleased with himself.
  
  > go to the west
  This east-west hallway has a blue door in the north wall which leads to the main studio. The light by the door is red, indicating that someone is playing at the moment. To the south is a locked door marked 'KITCHEN'.
  
  > go to the west
  This is as far as the studio goes. On a first date, anyway. A wooden door with a switch by it is to the south and the secondary control room door, with a light by it, is northward. The hallway runs back to the east.
  
  > open the door
  Which one, the wooden door or the secondary control room door?
  
  > go south
  You stride boldly into the store, bravely ignoring the dark, and promptly bang your shin against something hard and metallic, causing a terrible racket. Yelping with pain, you hop back into the corridor. The producer puts his head round the door of studio one. The music stops abruptly. "Whats all that flippin' noise?" he says, "Go and make some coffee you idiot." Shaking his head in bewilderment, he returns to his work.
  Corridor
  This is as far as the studio goes. On a first date, anyway. A wooden door with a switch by it is to the south and the secondary control room door, with a light by it, is northward. The hallway runs back to the east.
  
  > go north
  This room is used to edit tracks so terrible that the bands who made them had to be sent down the pub. Unfortunately, the bands will probably become very famous as a result of the changes, which is why it's usually better to be a musician than a tape operator. An important button is next to the door to the south.
  There is a cassette player, a small cupboard and an amplifier here.
  
  > look at the player
  The cassette player is a very expensive model, with woofers, tweeters, bells, whistles and a cuddly toy. Actually it has none of those things, but you know what salesmen are like.
  It contains a ferric oxide cassette.
  
  > turn on the player
  It is already!
  
  > turn on the amplifier
  Hey, I really dig you amplifier.
  The producer storms into the room, his beetroot face twitching with rage. "Where's my coffee?" he screams, pointing at you, "Why haven't you made it?" You try to blurt out an excuse but he just rants on. "Rod makes coffee when he's asked. No questions. It's there in five minutes. He can have your job. You're fired. Now get out." He grabs you with his sweaty hand and leads you out onto the street. "I never want to see you again," he shouts, slamming the wooden door.
  Busy Street
  It's night, dark, and cars are flashing past on this busy road with disturbing regularity. Disturbing because the host-parasite interface is in danger. You start to feel a bit odd, and reach out for the door to support you. Your head is spinning and you're finding it hard to concentrate. The door won't open and the host-parasite interface collapses, hurling you through the dimensions slap bang into a goldfish's body inside a tacky plastic castle. This looks familiar. Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > look in cupboard
  The small cupboard contains a head cleaner.
  
  > get the tape
  You have now got the ferric oxide cassette.
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > Go east
  Lounge areas in recording studios are usually for one purpose only, and that's to lull musicians into a false sense of the value of time. They'll sit in the comfortable sofa, drinking coffee and watching promo videos on the television here, all the while running up huge bills at the standard hourly rate. But they can afford it. Through a glass door to the north is an office. The only other exits are east and west.
  A waste bin is standing in the corner. Rod is loafing around, as tape ops are wont to do.
  
  > make the coffee
  "Sure thing," says Rod, rushing down the corridor. You hear the kitchen door slam, then a few seconds later it slams again as Rod comes out. "That's the way to do it," he beams as he returns, holding a steaming mug of coffee.
  The producer's voice booms from the distance, "Rod! What are you doing? I need a tape changing." "I can't," replies Rod, "I'm making more coffee." "About flippin' time too," shouts the producer, "bring it through and stop wasting time talking to that twit." Rod walks off, opens the kitchen door and goes in, slamming it behind him.
  
  > Play cleaner
  The cleaner rumbles its way through the machine, scrubbing the cassette heads until they are as shiny as new pins.
  
  > get cleaner
  You have now got the head cleaner.
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > put the tape in the player
  Which one, the ferric oxide cassette or the head cleaner?
  
  > play cassette
  The tape has been played. But you didn't hear anything. Perhaps the volume was too low.
  
  > examine the volume
  I'm afraid that volume is an abstract concept used to express the level of sound present in a room and so it can't be seen.
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > Examine amplifier
  This amplifier is the top of the range Scratchenitch. As usual, paying more means you get less, and so there is only one fader on the front, which can be used to set the output volume.
  
  > set the volume
  Please use "set fader to number."
  
  > examine the fader
  The fader covers the range 0 to 11, at least one louder than any other studio. It is currently set to 0.
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > play the cassette
  A really terrible blues tune starts to play:
  "I woke up one morning.
  My woman was dead.
  Fin rot on her dorsal.
  And white spot on her head."
  No wonder you found the tape in the bin!
  
  > Examine button
  The button looks complicated. It has two positions: "Safe" and "Record" and is currently set to safe.
  
  > set the fader to 11
  The fader is now set to 11.
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > go north
  This is where the studio paperwork is done. It's also where the producer often complains bitterly that he does everything. In fact, he spends most of his time 'delegating responsibility' or, in ordinary language, bossing people about. The glass door leads back to the lounge.
  There is a desk and a filing cabinet here.
  
  > examine the desk
  The desk is incredibly untidy. Perhaps the cleaning woman should be sacked.
  
  > examine the cabinet
  The filing cabinet is made of dull grey metal, obligatory for the modern '80s style office. It has a complex combination lock on it.
  It is locked.
  
  > Go south
  Lounge areas in recording studios are usually for one purpose only, and that's to lull musicians into a false sense of the value of time. They'll sit in the comfortable sofa, drinking coffee and watching promo videos on the television here, all the while running up huge bills at the standard hourly rate. But they can afford it. Through a glass door to the north is an office. The only other exits are east and west.
  A waste bin is standing in the corner.
  
  > examine the cupboard
  The small cupboard is made from chipboard and covered in plastic. It's pretty ugly.
  It is open.
  
  > look at the player
  The cassette player is a very expensive model, with woofers, tweeters, bells, whistles and a cuddly toy. Actually it has none of those things, but you know what salesmen are like.
  It contains a ferric oxide cassette.
  
  > get the cassette
  You have now got the ferric oxide cassette.
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > ask Rod about the tapes
  Rod says, "I wouldn't worry about it; it's the producer's problem."
  The producer's voice booms from the distance, "Rod! What are you doing? I need a tape changing." "Coming," shouts Rod. "I'd better go," he says, rushing out, "it's best not to upset him."
  
  > look at the discs
  Several of the gold discs were awarded to the Seven Deadly Fins; one of the biggest was for their infamous album "Batting Averages From The Test Match Of Oblivion". This one has been stolen.
  
  > examine the sofa
  Despite being made from plastic the sofa looks and sounds incredibly comfortable.
  
  > sit the sofa
  You sink right into the sofa and end up with your knees around your chin. "Get off me you fat lump," whispers the sofa. You try to leap out of the sofa, but only succeed in falling sideways onto the floor as your knees give way. Cursing your training, you clamber to your feet.
  
  > open the door
  Which one, the blue door or the kitchen door?
  
  > Kitchen
  But the kitchen door is locked.
  
  > examine the wooden door
  The wooden door is large, solid and here to slow you down.
  It is open.
  
  > turn on the switch
  A light flickers in the room to the south.
  
  > Go south
  This is where everything usually ends up. If you had the time to sift your way through it all you might find some unreleased tracks by bands who have since become famous under other names. A more likely find are tracks that should be taken from this place and, for the general good of the population, burned.
  There is a tape bin here.
  
  > examine bin
  The tape bin collects stray bits of tape during editing.
  It contains a chrome cassette and a metal cassette.
  
  > examine the chrome cassette
  The chrome cassette looks like it's been used as an ashtray, but it's probably still playable.
  
  > look at the metal cassette
  [x -> examine]
  
  > Metal cassette
  You have now got the chrome cassette.
  Metal cassette taken.
  
  > play metal cassette
  Please play the cassette IN or WITH something.
  
  > play the metal cassette in the player
  The fader setting is much too high for the host-parasite interface. A massive soundwave hits you like a locomotive. Your psyche is wrenched from its host and flung like so much chaff through the dimensions. You arrive back in the goldfish's body with a wet slap, and notice with a heavy sigh that you are back where you started, in the castle.
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A jagged warp and a small warp are also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > play the metal cassette in the player
  A loud, punk song starts to play:
  "Whatever happened to Leon Codsky.
  He got a fish hook,
  That made his gills burn.
  No more cod roes any more
  No more cod roes any more."
  The tune fades out with the producer shouting, "No more this song any more."
  
  > play the chrome cassette in the player
  The room is briefly filled with a dreadful ditty that goes precisely after this fashion:
  "Climb every fountain,
  Swim every stream,
  Follow every river,
  'Til you find your bream."
  The singer is so out of time that the producer stops the session. "No, no, no," the producer shouts, clicking his fingers in a strange rhythm, "like this: 2.5.6, 2.5.6, 2.5.6."
  The producer stomps in. "What are you doing in here?" he says, "I want more coffee. NOW!" He gives you a menacing stare through bloodshot eyes as he departs.
  
  > set combination to 256
  The lock is now set to 256. A soft click tells you that the cabinet is now unlocked.
  
  > look in the cabinet
  The filing cabinet contains a spindle.
  
  > get the spindle
  You grab the spindle and the whole room starts wobbling; it looks like a wormhole is opening, probably carrying the Fins. Fortunately, you were prepared for this and activate the escape device lodged in the back of your psyche just as the Fins start to warp in. "You'll not escape us this time," one of them says between curved teeth. But it's too late, you already have. Your mind zooms to one side, or is it that the world moves very quickly in the opposite direction. It's hard to tell. A tiny plastic castle is off in the distance, getting bigger and bigger as it speeds towards you. SLAP! Your psyche twists into a goldfish's body and the spindle spins (what else) into the glass box. "We only just got you out," says a quiet voice in your brain, clearly Sir Playfair. "But well done. You're doing a remarkable job. Quite outstanding in fact. Chin up. Panchax out."
  Castle
  Inside, the castle is exactly what you expected - tacky and featureless with ant eggs near the top and gravel at the bottom. To anyone else, the colours sprayed randomly on the wall would just be colours sprayed randomly on the wall. To a daring inter-dimensional espionage operative like yourself, however, they are obviously used to focus communications across the dimensions. The only exit is out, back to the goldfish bowl. Your attention is drawn to a glass box resting in the middle of the room here, this looks like Panchax's work.
  A jagged warp is also clearly the boss's work.
  
  > Examine box
  The glass box shows all the hallmarks of a rush assembly. There are loads of electrical components in it and yards and yards of wiring. You can only hope the back-room boys didn't economise on waterproofing.
  It is closed.
  It contains a spindle and a gold ring.
  
  > look at the blanket
  Smelly perhaps, but even a smelly blanket keeps out the draughts.
  
  > About yourself
  You are a tall human being with arms and legs. Somewhat surprisingly, you don't have any fishy traits at all.
  
  > wear the jeans
  You put on the jeans.
  
  > go south
  The cab is Steve's province. Like most roadies, his ability to create chaos out of order is legendary and the rubbish all over the cab is definitely his work. Major slobs themselves, the band prefer to ride in the back in their own squalor. The passenger door has been jammed open, revealing a dark field.
  A note is close to hand.
  
  > examine the note
  The note is signed with a squiggle that looks like "Steve". There again, it could be "Rufus T. Flywheel". Fortunately, it doesn't matter. If you really hate not knowing, we suggest you take it to a pharmacist; they're used to deciphering illegible squiggles.
  
  > leave
  It's dark out there. Brave and fearless you may be, but totally stupid you're not (at least, that's your estimation; others have been known to disagree). You decide to return to the van and search for a source of light.
  Cab
  The cab is Steve's province. Like most roadies, his ability to create chaos out of order is legendary and the rubbish all over the cab is definitely his work. Major slobs themselves, the band prefer to ride in the back in their own squalor. The passenger door has been jammed open, revealing a dark field.
  
  > read the note
  The note says:
  Gone to get diesel. Back before dawn. Steve.
  
  > examine the rubbish
  The rubbish covers the floor.
  
  > get rubbish
  The rubbish is covered with a thin film of mould. You decide against carrying it with you.
  
  > search the rubbish
  You find a torch.
  
  > look at the torch
  The torch is the rubber type; the sort that looks like a marital aid but isn't.
  
  > Go outside
  You're in the middle of a dark field, standing next to the band's van. You can hear music to the east, where a fire silhouettes a ruined building.
  
  > go to the east
  This narrow east-west track is miles from civilisation. There is a fire to the east and some music is coming from the same direction.
  
  > Go east
  The ruined abbey stands before you, imposing even in such a state of decay. Through the grand arch to the east, you hear some awful music and see the glow from a large fire. Westward leads back into the gloom. A poster is blowing about in the wind.
  
  > look at the poster
  The poster is a discarded advertisement for a concert by the Seven Deadly Fins.
  
  > read the poster
  The poster has a psychedelic picture of purple and green goldfish swimming around the Seven Deadly Fins logo. The fish form the words, "No rules. No war. No profit." Underneath is scrawled, "The Fins are in town. Place: just listen. Price: what can you afford? Anarchy: only if my mum says it's ok."
  
  > listen
  You hear some music. These people are serious anarchists; they don't even want to be bound by musical rules. Some people might say it's free jazz, but they'd be wrong - it's just rubbish.
  
  > go east
  Neglected over the centuries, only the shell of this abbey remains and even that is in a poor state of repair. Rubble is everywhere, except for a gap cleared in the middle, in which a fire is burning. You can go north and south, although the obvious exit is west, towards the grand arch.
  Some hippies are sitting around the fire in squalor, twanging out some terrible guitar and drinking heavily.
  
  > Go south
  As you survey this place, you wonder how such beauty could have been left to just rot. Depression hangs heavy on your heart, but not for long! Inter-dimensional espionage operatives aren't renowned for their sentimentality with regard to ruined naves, and, besides, you have jobs to meet, people to be and places to do. Southward from here, it's as dark as pitch, but northward the fire is burning fiercely.
  A broken pew catches your attention.
  
  > look at the pew
  The broken pew is an old piece of church furniture, sadly discarded in these ungodly times. It's about four feet high, three feet wide and could just about support your weight.
  
  > go south
  It's really dark here, torch or no torch. What was that noise? It sounded pretty fierce. There it is again. It came from the east. No, the west. This could well be dangerous so you go back before whatever it is makes itself known.
  Ruined Nave
  As you survey this place, you wonder how such beauty could have been left to just rot. Depression hangs heavy on your heart, but not for long! Inter-dimensional espionage operatives aren't renowned for their sentimentality with regard to ruined naves, and, besides, you have jobs to meet, people to be and places to do. Southward from here, it's as dark as pitch, but northward the fire is burning fiercely.
  A broken pew catches your attention.
  
  > Go north
  The transept, at right angles to the nave, is in ruins. The fire to the south gives the only light in here, allowing you to see an exit leading down.
  There is a crumbling archway here.