text: [Themes: Wordplay, silly, wordplay]
  
  > look around
  The telltail smell of grain and dung drifts by. You're on a dusty road in front of abandoned farm -- a nice-sized spread of land that stretches far out to meet the horizon.
  
  A wooden cart sits in the dusty road here.
  
  A youthful-looking old dog is here, chasing his tail.
  
  > Cast stone
  The old dog tears out after the stone and retrieves it back to you, panting and holding it in his slobbery mouth.
  
  > look at the cart
  This is simple a wooden cart, made to be drawn by a beast of burden.
  
  > Barnyard
  You trudge along and get there...
  
  You're standing here in the barnyard, a meager patch of scratched earth. You can tell right away what a dog-eat-dog world the farm can be, as you see lying on the ground a sow's ear, and then some poor animal's tail.
  
  You can see a full complement of swords leaning up against the broad side of the barn, looking very out of place here on the farm.
  
  You can see a sow's ear and a tail here.
  
  The old dog follows behind you.
  
  > get all
  full complement of swords: These implements of ancient warfare have nothing to do with your task on the farm.
  sow's ear: Taken.
  tail: Taken.
  
  > beat the sword into ploughshares
  If you only had a hammer...
  
  > hit the the broad side of a the barn
  You wind up, haul off, and throw a haymaker at the barn.
  
  "Thump."
  
  No one can ever challenge your accuracy after this.
  
  > Barn
  You kick up a little sawdust as you enter the barn...
  
  You're surrounded by the deep shade of a nearly abandoned barn, with very little activity but for an occasional hoot of an owl. Yet toward the rear of the barn, under the loft, a cascading spillage of grain is creating an ever-widening pile.
  
  A wooden ladder leads, presumably, up to the loft.
  
  Over near the wide entrance to the barn, there stands a canister of milk.
  
  The old dog enthusiastically bounds into the barn after you, and heedless of where it's going crashes into the canister of milk, spilling it in a wide puddle on the floor of the barn.
  
  The dog looks sheepish, and exits the barn with its tail between its legs.
  
  > cry over the spilled milk
  In throwing your fit, you can hear the poor ol' dog yowling in the distance.
  
  > examine the grain
  You can see, falling down within the silky stream of golden grain, a succession of little mice spread-eagled and smiling widely, some giggling, others tumbling head over heels. They each splash deeply into the ever-widening pile of grain, and then burrow out the side of it, and disappear somewhere in the barn.
  
  > Go upward
  It's humid up here in the loft, muggy with the heavy smell of barley corn in summer. Bags of the pungent grain, all of them torn up and derelict, are strewn about the edge of the loft, creating a constant spillage over the side into which mice are leaping.
  
  > Up
  This area at one time must have been used by a handyman, for against one wall a grindstone sits idle with a hammer next to it.
  
  A wooden ladder leads down from the loft.
  
  [Refer to the top of the screen to find out where you can go.]
  
  > examine the mice
  The mice are wildly enjoying the grain.
  
  > get the bag
  Without heavy farm machinery, you could never tidy up this mess.
  
  > walk under the ladder
  You bang your bean against the wooden ladder as you attempt this.
  
  > Road
  You trudge along and get there...
  
  A wooden cart sits in the dusty road here.
  
  > Barnyard
  You trudge along and get there...
  
  A youthful-looking old dog is here, sitting up.
  It seems that the old dog has one stone.
  
  You can see a full complement of swords leaning up against the broad side of the barn, looking very out of place here on the farm.
  
  > Stable
  You follow your nose to the stable...
  
  The strong, earthy smell in this wide-open area reminds you that you're on a farm. So meet the primary interior decorator of the stable: a very odd-looking horse who snorts when it sees you.
  
  You can see a rusty tin trough here.
  
  > lead the horse to the water
  You lead the horse, suddenly trusting of you, over to the trough.
  
  > make the horse drink
  Not only can you lead a horse to water, but contrary to popular belief, you CAN make him drink. He slurps his fill of water, and with unbridled energy, he trots away toward the road.
  
  > Road
  You trudge along and get there...
  
  An odd-looking horse stands here, nonchalantly shooing at flies with its tail.
  
  A wooden cart sits in the dusty road here.
  
  > put cart before horse
  Using perfectly backward logic, you put the cart before the horse.
  
  > examine the horse
  The horse, which is a hackney, is wearing a large red-ribbon bow in place of a saddle and is hooked up to the cart. It continues shooing at flies with its tail.
  
  > look a gift horse in the the mouth
  It looks like the horse has drunk a lot of water.
  
  > Market
  With the horse pushing rather than pulling the cart, you follow a crooked and bumpy road for some time. You faintly hear sweet music from a woodwind drifting toward you, and sure enough, around the next bend you come upon a man playing music on a flute. You pull the cart to a rumbling halt, and the horse gives a snort.
  
  Seeing you, the piper plays a short flat note, draws the pipe from his mouth, and takes quick inventory of the wares he is peddling: a cart full of apples, a rumpled canvas bag, and some strong-smelling peppers.
  
  > Upset the apple cart
  [getting out of the cart first]
  Visibly perturbed, the stacked apples begin to tremble and quake, until one apple heaves up out of the pile and into the air. Your horsey companion eyeballs the apple, bares his teeth, tilts back his long mane, and catches it. He loudly chomps it into a pulp, and swallows.
  
  > examine the bag
  The piper quickly tells you there's a pig in the bag.
  
  > look at the peppers
  With narrowed eyes you take stock: There seems to be about a peck.
  
  > pick a peck of the pickled peppers
  "That's easy for you to say," says the piper, and with a sweep of his pipe, allows you to take away peppers.
  
  > get the bag
  The piper strikes a high shrill note, like that of a policeman's whistle. "Hands off the merchandise," he says, and then goes on piping a merrier tune.
  
  > Inventory
  You have peck of pickled peppers, a hammer, a tail and a sow's ear.
  
  > feel bag
  Keeping in touch with the canvas bag doesn't do anything.
  
  "It'll cost you a pretty penny, one fine sow, she is, she is," says the piper.
  
  > pay the the piper
  You have no money!
  
  You have peck of pickled peppers, a hammer, a tail and a sow's ear.
  
  > give the piper the tail
  Briskly, the piper refuses your offer.
  
  > Field
  It's really too long a walk.
  
  > get in the cart
  Look around you.
  
  > Road
  With the horse pushing rather than pulling the cart, you follow a crooked and bumpy road for some time...
  
  Road, in the wooden cart
  
  > get out
  [What do you want to get out?]
  
  > stand
  You get out of the wooden cart.
  
  > put the horse before the cart
  The horse snorts and rears. It seems paranoid about having the cart behind it.
  
  > Field
  You trudge along and get there...
  
  You are standing at the edge of a barren field that is reminiscent of the dust bowl days. A steady wind, having secreted away the topsoil, is now drifting sandy dirt across the plain. A scant sign of life here is a freshly burrowed molehill on the ground.
  
  Marking the corner of the property is a large stack of hay, whose musty odor sticks in your nostrils.
  
  > search the haystack
  What on earth do you expect to find in a haystack?
  
  > Needle
  It's hard, of course, because all those stalks of hay look like needles themselves. The needle is found twinkling brightly silver among the yellow stalks of hay grass. You grab it.
  
  > make a the mountain out of a the molehill
  There is a tremendous rumbling in the distance, getting louder and louder, until it is deafening. The ground shakes with violence from the mammoth pressures of the earth's crust. The dirt around the molehill crumbles away as mighty, jagged granite peaks begin to emerge from deep underneath it, and you are knocked back as the mountain continues to rise majestically.
  
  The surrounding landscape, once bleak, now undergoes transformation into a fertile valley before your very eyes. Crops sprout and grow tall with the crisp snapping sound of fresh corn being husked.
  
  Yet with the abundance comes new dangers, as two birds can be seen circling above, surveying the lush crops.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a needle, peck of pickled peppers, a hammer, a tail and a sow's ear. You also notice a green tint to your thumb.
  
  > look in the purse
  Opening the silk purse reveals a pretty penny.
  
  > sow the wild oats
  You can't see any wild oats here!
  
  You have a pretty penny, a silk purse, a needle, peck of pickled peppers, a hammer and a tail.
  
  > examine the tail
  It looks like every other tail you've ever seen.