text: [Themes: Slice of life, Mystery, house setting]
  
  > Go down
  You descend the stairs and pass through a door, finding yourself in the...
  
  The top of the staircase ends in the middle of the landing which stretches to the east and west. An interesting painting, with striking use of deep blues and bright reds, hangs on an otherwise drab wall, and opposite, to the south, a large window allows light to flood onto the stairs.
  
  A door stands open in the north wall.
  
  > Go west
  You are in a glorious oak-panelled room, with a large fireplace to one side. This is where the family relaxes, assuming that such a monstrous family relaxes at all. An antique-style telephone rests on the mantelpiece, and a large hi-tech widescreen television sits on a video recorder in the corner. From here, you observe exits to the east and northeast.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  A young woman called Chloe sits nearby reading a book.
  
  > ask Chloe about the guard
  Chloe grins, thinking of something funny, but she decides that you don't need to know it. "Oh, he's an oaf, isn't he?"
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a Battlebase episode guide
  a plastic supermarket bag
  a spade
  a small brass key
  a wedding programme
  
  > tell Chloe about Malcolm
  You get no reply from the woman.
  
  Scamp trots off to the northeast.
  
  > say yes
  (to Chloe)
  You get no reply from the woman.
  
  > ask Chloe about table
  The woman doesn't respond. She seems to think it's trendy to be ignorant.
  
  Scamp trots along here from the northeast and nuzzles Chloe's dangling hand with his nose. Chloe scratches behind his ear vacantly, still engrossed in her book.
  
  > ask Chloe,  to go east
  The woman doesn't take kindly to your gentle requests, and compares you to a dictator before getting back to her book.
  
  Scamp trots off to the northeast.
  
  > Horror
  "I'm reading it," says Chloe irritably.
  
  > go northeast
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  > ask Albert about the guard
  "The cad! The bounder! The blackguard! And, no doubt, a whole lot of other old-fashioned cliched words as well."
  
  > ask Albert about Sheryl
  "I always thought it was a mistake on Godfrey's part to leave the house to Sheryl. He was always a bit of a gambler, really."
  
  > ask Albert about Godfrey
  "One of my greatest friends - the most unpredictable and eccentric man I've ever met."
  
  > take the table
  That's fixed in place.
  
  > move the table
  It is fixed in place.
  
  > examine the lock
  Four LEDS flicker excitedly on the lock, but it isn't immediately apparent how to activate it. A sticker on one side states that it is tamper-proof.
  
  > get the sticker
  That's hardly portable.
  
  > examine Sheryl
  Her clothes look like they have been chosen in order to make sure that she isn't lost in the crowd during the wedding: a shocking pink suit is topped by a large (some would say overgrown) matching hat. She is wringing her hands and seems to be murmuring "oh my oh my".
  
  > ask Sheryl about the bathroom
  "My brother William's locked himself in the bathroom, I'm afraid."
  
  > look up William in the programme
  "WILLIAM D'ARCY, uncle of the bride, is the unsociable one of the family, with a tendency to lock himself in a toilet and sulk. One such episode lasted two days; his wife Hope was forced to climb a ladder and pass his pizzas in through the window, though she says that if he tries it again, he can just starve."
  
  > look up Hope in the programme
  "HOPE D'ARCY, long suffering wife to William. Hope seems to possess infinite patience, which helps when dealing with her husband. She is also a part time rock climber."
  
  > go east
  This room has the air of a gentleman's private study area, though recently it appears to have been taken over by the lady of the house
  
  > ask Sheryl about the keys
  (that is, Sheryl D'Arcy). A hardboard set of shelves against one wall looks completely out of place amid the antique furniture and the gorgeous circular shaped painting on the ceiling. Embroidery rests on a pouffe to one side, and several packs of wool tower alongside the shelves. The front entrance is out to the west, and there is another room to the north.
  
  Barbara, an aunt of the bride, sits on an armchair with her legs crossed and her hands interlocked.
  
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  > Examine tv
  The television is large, with a wide screen and large speakers at either side. You can see a power switch but not the means to change channels - maybe that is done with a remote control.
  
  The television is currently switched off.
  
  > look at the fireplace
  Possibly redundant, what with the invention of central heating, but it must be nice to have a large roaring fire going on cold winter nights.
  
  > call the mom
  What do you want to call that on?
  
  > The phone
  You let the phone ring for a while, then put the receiver back down.
  
  > look at Chloe
  Chloe has her chair back on two legs, feet on the table, reading a horror story. She is clad entirely in black, from her Doc Martens to her T-shirt. Maybe she got the events mixed up and thought she was going to a funeral.
  
  > Go east
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  Scamp trots along here from upstairs, careful to avoid the Mother of the Bride who glares at him and mutters something dark under her breath.
  
  > ask Mother about the remote
  She is too busy fretting to answer.
  
  Scamp sniffs at your hands for food.
  
  > ask Scamp about the remote
  "Woof."
  
  Scamp scratches his ear furiously with his hind leg.
  
  > tell Barbara about the guard
  Barbara smiles enigmatically.
  
  > look at the wool
  The packs, each containing six balls of wool, are waiting to be used for one very large jumper, or alternatively several hundred jumpers for unlucky relatives.
  
  > search the wool
  The colour you like isn't here. Anyway, you don't have time to knit.
  
  > Go west
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  You are in a glorious oak-panelled room, with a large fireplace to one side. This is where the family relaxes, assuming that such a monstrous family relaxes at all. An antique-style telephone rests on the mantelpiece, and a large hi-tech widescreen television sits on a video recorder in the corner. From here, you observe exits to the east and northeast.
  
  A young woman called Chloe sits nearby reading a book.
  
  > press eject
  [ Try PRESS <button> ON VIDEO RECORDER. ]
  
  > press the eject on the video recorder
  The video recorder spits out a cassette, which lands neatly on the floor.
  
  > take the cassette
  Taken.
  
  > Examine cassette
  A three-hour video cassette, rewound to the beginning.
  
  A three-hour video cassette, rewound to the beginning.
  
  > show it to Chloe
  Chloe is unimpressed.
  
  > go to the north-east
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  > Go southwest
  You are in a glorious oak-panelled room, with a large fireplace to one side. This is where the family relaxes, assuming that such a monstrous family relaxes at all. An antique-style telephone rests on the mantelpiece, and a large hi-tech widescreen television sits on a video recorder in the corner. From here, you observe exits to the east and northeast.
  
  A young woman called Chloe sits nearby reading a book.
  
  You can hear heavy footsteps nearby.
  
  > Wait
  You wait for a moment.
  
  You can hear heavy footsteps nearby.
  
  > Wait
  You wait for a moment.
  
  > Go north
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  The cellar door hangs open invitingly to the west.
  
  You can hear heavy footsteps nearby.
  
  > Go west
  Considering the high technology that has gone into guarding this area, the cellar is surprisingly lo-tech. One very dull fluorescent tube casts gloomy light over the brick walls. The air is damp; cobwebs line the ceiling. A tunnel disappears off into the darkness to the northeast, and a set of stone steps lead east up to the passageway.
  
  Discarded carelessly on a crate is something which declares itself to be a water detector.
  
  You can also see a security guard here.
  
  To your horror, and to his glee, you walk straight into the security guard. He takes great delight in lifting you up and ejecting you out of the house. "Your name's not down, you're NOT - COMING - IN!" he bellows.
  
  You stand to the south of D'Arcy manor, a building which looks like it's straight out of a low budget Bronte TV adaptation. A few modern touches help tie it to the late twentieth century, such as the burglar alarm next to the elegant stone carving of a Shakespearian-looking man above the main entrance. Immediately in front of the house is a gravel drive which acts as a car park, and a small road leads off to the south towards the main road. A slabbed path runs around both sides (east and west) of the house.
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a video cassette
  a Battlebase episode guide
  a plastic supermarket bag
  a spade
  a small brass key
  a wedding programme
  
  You don't notice the security guard bearing down on you until it is too late. "Gotcha!" he snarls, and drags you kicking and screaming out of the house. "Behave, you!" he bellows like an impatient father, and as you pick yourself up, you think spiteful thoughts involving the security guard and several tonnes of space debris falling to earth.
  
  You stand to the south of D'Arcy manor, a building which looks like it's straight out of a low budget Bronte TV adaptation. A few modern touches help tie it to the late twentieth century, such as the burglar alarm next to the elegant stone carving of a Shakespearian-looking man above the main entrance. Immediately in front of the house is a gravel drive which acts as a car park, and a small road leads off to the south towards the main road. A slabbed path runs around both sides (east and west) of the house.
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  > Go north
  This vast room is presumably where the D'Arcy clan eat their meals; it reminds you too much of your old school dinner hall for you to feel entirely comfortable here. A large sturdy table sits in the centre of the room, surrounded by ten carefully-crafted chairs, and a set of antique jugs rest on stools in a small alcove in the west wall. The walls are covered in paintings which look impressive until you examine them closely and see that they are certainly not in the league of the great masters. The back garden is accessible via a door to the north, a corridor leads south, and the kitchen is through the swing doors to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  You can hear heavy footsteps nearby.
  
  > Go south
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  The cellar door hangs open invitingly to the west.
  
  You can also see a security guard here.
  
  To your horror, and to his glee, you walk straight into the security guard. He takes great delight in lifting you up and ejecting you out of the house. "Your name's not down, you're NOT - COMING - IN!" he bellows.
  
  You stand to the south of D'Arcy manor, a building which looks like it's straight out of a low budget Bronte TV adaptation. A few modern touches help tie it to the late twentieth century, such as the burglar alarm next to the elegant stone carving of a Shakespearian-looking man above the main entrance. Immediately in front of the house is a gravel drive which acts as a car park, and a small road leads off to the south towards the main road. A slabbed path runs around both sides (east and west) of the house.
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  > Go south
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  You can also see a security guard here.
  
  To your horror, and to his glee, you walk straight into the security guard. He takes great delight in lifting you up and ejecting you out of the house. "Your name's not down, you're NOT - COMING - IN!" he bellows.
  
  You stand to the south of D'Arcy manor, a building which looks like it's straight out of a low budget Bronte TV adaptation. A few modern touches help tie it to the late twentieth century, such as the burglar alarm next to the elegant stone carving of a Shakespearian-looking man above the main entrance. Immediately in front of the house is a gravel drive which acts as a car park, and a small road leads off to the south towards the main road. A slabbed path runs around both sides (east and west) of the house.
  
  You can see a security guard here.
  
  > Go north
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  The cellar door hangs open invitingly to the west.
  
  > close the cellar door
  You close the cellar door.
  
  You can hear heavy footsteps nearby.
  
  > wait
  You wait for a moment.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > open the cellar door
  You will have to enter the pass number into the lock to open the door.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > Bang on door
  The hard metal hurts your knuckles as you rap on the door.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > ask the cellar door about the note
  "Oi, you!" calls the voice behind the door. "Get me out of here! Unlock the door!"
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > examine the lock
  Four LEDS flicker excitedly on the lock, but it isn't immediately apparent how to activate it. A sticker on one side states that it is tamper-proof.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > ask the door about the lock
  "The number?" bellows the voice behind the door. "The number is 9136. Hurry!"
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > open the door
  You will have to enter the pass number into the lock to open the door.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > unlock cellar door
  What do you want to unlock the cellar door with?
  
  > Type 9136
  What do you want to type that on?
  
  > The lock
  You can't see a telephone here.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > examine the phone
  The telephone is gold plated, and shaped like a cumbersome old-fashioned model, except for a keypad where the dial should go.
  
  > dial phone
  What do you want to dial that on?
  
  > Type 9136
  What do you want to type that on?
  
  > Phone
  You let the phone ring for a while, then put the receiver back down.
  
  > Go northeast
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > unlock cellar door
  What do you want to unlock the cellar door with?
  
  > type 9136 on the leds
  What do you want to push that on?
  
  You can't see a telephone here.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > examine the leds
  Four LEDS flicker excitedly on the lock, but it isn't immediately apparent how to activate it. A sticker on one side states that it is tamper-proof.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > look at the door
  A solid metal door with the word CELLAR etched into the surface. It has an electronic lock.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > open door
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  You will have to enter the pass number into the lock to open the door.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > say 9136
  (to the cellar door)
  "Oi, you!" calls the voice behind the door. "Get me out of here! Unlock the door!"
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > set lock to 9136
  No, you can't set that to anything.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > Lock
  What do you want to lock?
  
  > open the lock
  That's not something you can open.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > hit the door
  Violence should only be used as a last resort.
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > Go south
  You stand to the south of D'Arcy manor, a building which looks like it's straight out of a low budget Bronte TV adaptation. A few modern touches help tie it to the late twentieth century, such as the burglar alarm next to the elegant stone carving of a Shakespearian-looking man above the main entrance. Immediately in front of the house is a gravel drive which acts as a car park, and a small road leads off to the south towards the main road. A slabbed path runs around both sides (east and west) of the house.
  
  > take the box
  (putting the Battlebase episode guide into the plastic supermarket bag to make room)
  Taken.
  
  > go south
  A grand patio made from powder-orange slabs links the back of the house, which is to your south, with a beautiful garden to the north, beyond a gate. You look up at the house, and see a number of unrecognisable people pacing about at various windows. A grey-slabbed path runs around both sides of the house back to the front.
  
  The gate to the north is open.
  
  > go east
  You make your way around the eastern side of the house, and find yourself at...
  
  You stand to the south of D'Arcy manor, a building which looks like it's straight out of a low budget Bronte TV adaptation. A few modern touches help tie it to the late twentieth century, such as the burglar alarm next to the elegant stone carving of a Shakespearian-looking man above the main entrance. Immediately in front of the house is a gravel drive which acts as a car park, and a small road leads off to the south towards the main road. A slabbed path runs around both sides (east and west) of the house.
  
  > go south
  That way only leads out of the estate, and you've still got a lot of interfering to do yet.
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.
  
  > examine the alarm
  From here, all you can see is a white box with the name of a security company on it. A blue light flickers intermittently on its side, suggesting that it is active.
  
  > Open alarm
  It's too high up to reach.
  
  The grey sky overhead turns a little darker, threatening rain.