text: This is pretty surprising. In your choice between pussy and morals you chose morals. You've really come a long way.
  
  Actually you haven't. Your fear is just overriding your hornyness level. The fear of getting locked up for statutory rape and pedophilia and getting ass raped by real criminals is too great. It's just as well; your shot at your cousin was pretty slim anyway.
  
  In the meantime you tell Patricia to get out as you're getting sleepy. You begin pushing her towards the door trying very hard not to grab her ass or tits.
  
  "Alright, alright! I'm going! Stop shoving me! Shit, what's your problem!?"
  "I got a lot on my mind alright? I won't have you hounding me with questions! Get out! Out! Out!"
  
  Your outburst makes Patricia very upset. In fact she tears up, you fucking cad.
  
  "Oh fuck you then! I was trying to help your lame ass out! I even thought that maybe...  Nevermind! Don't fucking contact me anymore jerk off! (Sob!)" Patricia yells before slamming the door.
  
  With your cousin gone you feel so lost. Normally the temptation to go back to anime would be there, but instead you just feel depressed. It's sort of like the first time she stopped coming over, but a lot worse because now you know she's not coming back. Patricia was like your "girlfriend" even if she really wasn't; the illusion was enough for you.
  
  You cry in your pillows. The very pillows you used to hump and pretend they were her. You're too sad to even do that. You're totally emo right now.
  
  Why you're so emo, you might just become AN HERO.
  > damn it man, don't be AN HERO!
  No! You will not become like every other loser that kills himself due to not being able to get some jailbait pussy. You'll be like every other loser that finds a substitute instead!
  
  You can't think about her though, you need something else! But you got rid of all your anime and internet months ago! And you gotta jack off NOW!
  
  You then remember, your other comics! You can use them instead! You quickly grab and scan through them... 
  
  All these super females are more like women than girls, but as you've been reading them over the past few months you find that you can still get turned on by them.
  
  Ah hah! She-Hulk! She'll do!
  
  You begin to jack off vigorously to your replacement, and lo and behold it works! You feel better and less depressed.
  
  Months pass and eventually you're over Patricia altogether and found that obsessing over comic book girls to be much easier for you.
  
  Besides you've found a new true love in all this: She-Hulk.
  
  Why her? Hell if I know, it's your pathetic fetish. I suppose you latched on to her the most due to her being your first jack off material after you resisted Patricia. Plus she's green and shit.
  
  Whatever the reason you just can't get enough of her! She's not only strong, but she's intelligent too! And she looks just SO sexy with her green skin and Amazonian build!
  
  You never wanted to fuck that sexy green bitch so much in your life! The real women just can't compare to this two dimensional green goddess! They'll never relate to you the way that SHE can. Oh sure your cousin Patricia came close, but... 
  
  Forget about that bitch, you got She-Hulk now!
  
  But how you WISH She-Hulk was REAL! If ONLY that giant poster on your wall could come to life.
  
  Hey loser, MAYBE if you wish REAL hard it will come true!
  > wish!
  Are you fucking serious? I was fucking joking about that! Then again you're pretty much bat shit insane at this point anyway... 
  
  Okay so you look at the poster of your unnatural object of desire, and begin to concentrate.
  
  And concentrate... 
  
  And concentrate... 
  
  Well you've stared at the fuckin' picture long enough to get you horny as hell, but she still hasn't come to life and spread her green legs for you yet.
  
  All you've gotten is an erection from your staring.
  
  Now you're looking at your dick.
  You're looking at the pic.
  You're looking at your dick.
  You're looking at the pic.
  Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick.
  
  While all this is mildly amusing, we probably should get on with this futile exercise
  
  "URRRGGGH!"
  
  That's you still trying to wish She-Hulk into existence.
  
  You don't have a boner anymore since all the blood rushing to your other head as you redouble your efforts into concentrating on the poster.
  
  Of course now you're starting to give yourself a fucking headache from this nonsense, in fact you're getting a little dizzy, you silly motherfucker.
  
  Y'know you gave it a shot, but maybe this just wasn't meant to be.
  
  Your cousin Patricia's still available and considering what a hopeless loser you are anyway, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you tried to pursue her again. I mean someone like you really should get it where you can and you can't do that by jacking off to cartoon characters in your mom's basement.
  
  Think about how she left. She seemed pretty upset on a personal level. Maybe she even liked you romantically in some way. Maybe you could contact her again.
  
  Of course if you wanna risk giving yourself a fuckin' seizure, it's your choice.
  > call up Patricia
  You quickly snap to your senses. This She-Hulk fetish is just yet another way for you to avoid real women! You did that with anime, and now you're doing it with this.
  
  Patricia helped you out and was kind and sweet to you when by all rights you should've been taken out to the woods and shot for being a useless waste of skin. You need a woman like that in your life.
  
  You quickly stop jerking it to She-Hulk and call up your cousin Patricia.
  
  "Hello? Who is this?"
  "Hey Patricia, it's me Brian! I want us to be together! I know I fucked up before, but it's because I thought that obsessing over my underage cousin was unnatural! But now I've come to realize it wasn't unnatural at all! It was perfectly normal! Shit, it was downright Biblical! I know you must've liked me on some level too, so how about it? Will you give us another chance... and uh... keep it a secret at least until you're eighteen?"
  "Brian, this is Patricia's mother, Evelyn."
  
  Oh fuck.
  
  "Uh... hi Aunt Evelyn. Wow, you sound just like Patricia... uh... um... "
  "Don't even try to talk your way outta it Brian."
  "Erm... uh... "
  "Stuttering isn't much better. If it'll clear your mind though, I'm not going to call the police on you. However, I can't allow you to go out with Patricia."
  "But... but I love her!"
  "Yeah, and I'm sure you would love for her to have your seven fingered, one eyed kids, but Patricia's getting sent to a convent in the South Seas."
  "What? Why?"
  "Why? Because me and her father are sick of her going off her meds and giving us fucking grief, that's why! She's a disobedient little whore, and we've had enough!"
  
  You're pretty floored by this revelation.
  
  "... but... well hey wait. Maybe you could marry her off to me, and I could keep an eye on her and show her love she desperately needs."
  "YOU? Hah! And how's that going to work out living in your mom's basement? Christ I dunno how my sister even puts up with you. I would've sent you to a convent years ago. Besides, if we can't control her, I doubt if you'd be able to. She'd have you so wrapped around her little finger you'd probably suck an AIDS ridden cock if she told you to. And while I'm sure it would still be the best thing that's ever happened in your basement dwelling life, it ain't happening. Goodbye."
  
  With that final telephone click, you fall to the floor in defeat. Your destiny is sealed and you return to the basement to wallow in 2-dimentional girls. Eventually you save up enough money to get a new computer and hooked up to the internet again and your relapse is complete. The only differences being that you still work at the comic shop and that you aren't obsessed with anime anymore. (Though you still jack off to the occasional loli-con)
  
  A step up, I suppose but not much of one. The fact remains that you're still a basement dwelling virgin and you remain one until you eventually die of a Twinkie overload which causes your artery clogged heart to explode.