text: [Themes: Satire]
  
  > Look around
  Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
  
  > enter the hole
  You can also see the Kunkel here.
  
  Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
  
  > go south
  You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory. Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products.
  
  > eat the food
  With your bare hands? You have better manners than that.
  
  > examine the belt
  The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine. You dumped pigs--or whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and
  
  > point it at the scrapplizer
  time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
  
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  > point it at Scrappelizer
  The rod is already charged.
  A flash of white light engulfs the Scrappelizer, but nothing else happens.
  
  > go north
  Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
  
  You can also see the Kunkel here.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a toy
  the Rod of Returning
  a rucksack (which is open)
  a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
  a juice glass
  a tourist map of Paris
  "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition"
  a variegated mimesis plant
  some Chinese food
  
  > put the CD in the pc
  The computer is closed.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > open the computer
  You open the CD-ROM drive. The Kunkel's game must have come to a screeching halt, because it stops twitching, swears, and thumbs the drive door shut before you can react.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > point it at CD
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  A flash of white light engulfs "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition", but nothing else happens.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > point it at the plant
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  A flash of white light engulfs the variegated mimesis plant, but nothing else happens.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > point it at the toy
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  A flash of white light engulfs the toy, but nothing else happens.
  
  > examine the plant
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  This is a prizewinning specimen of the species Mimesis Variegans. It is dark green, with yellow stripes on its luxurious leaves. The mimesis plant thrives in low light and requires occasional watering. You've always preferred the variegated to the linear variety, yourself. This one is about ten inches high. A large bite has been taken out of one leaf. It appears well-loved. One of the leaves is ripped.
  
  > point it at the cd drive
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  I only understood you as far as wanting to point the Rod of Returning at "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition".
  
  > throw the plant at Kunkel
  The Kunkel somehow senses your impending attack. It rises and faces you.
  
  "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
  
  Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces.
  
  > Examine pc
  This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
  The computer is currently switched on.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > Full
  You have so far scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 209 turns, earning you the rank of Scrapple Warrior.
  
  > look at speakers
  The score is made up as follows:
  
  1 Lust
  1 Gluttony
  1 Sloth
  1 Wrath
  1 Envy
  1 Getting the Rod of Returning
  
  8 total (out of 10)
  
  This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
  The computer is currently switched on.
  
  > get map
  (putting the Chinese food into the rucksack to make room)
  Taken.
  
  > hit Kunkel
  The Kunkel somehow senses your impending attack. It rises and faces you.
  
  "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
  
  Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces.
  
  > get the goggles
  As you approach, you see that the Kunkel's face has actually grown into the goggles. Revolted, you retreat.
  
  > examine drive
  This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
  The computer is currently switched on.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > pull the goggles
  Nothing obvious happens.
  
  > pull the drive
  It is fixed in place.
  
  > turn off the goggles
  That's not something you can switch.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > unplug the goggles
  You unplug the VR goggles.
  The Kunkel sits stock-still, stunned by the loss of visual input.
  
  > open the computer
  You open the computer, revealing a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine".
  The Kunkel begins to fumble for the cord of its VR goggles.
  
  > put the CD in computer
  Which do you mean, a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" or "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition"?
  
  > Masterpieces
  There is no more room in the computer.
  The Kunkel blunders around trying to reconnect the goggles.
  
  > get stiffy
  (putting the variegated mimesis plant into the rucksack to make room) Taken.
  It looks as if the Kunkel is about to succeed in plugging in the goggles.
  
  > put the Masterpieces in the computer
  You put "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition" into the computer.
  The Kunkel manages to plug the goggles back into the computer.
  The Kunkel sighs and closes the CD-ROM drive.
  The Kunkel, not suspecting your ruse, shrieks as wave after wave of pure text pummels its senses.
  
  With a sickening 'schlupp' the VR goggles explode from the Kunkel's face as its head splits open and it keels over, dead.