text: [Themes: Satire, Fantasy]
  
  > Look around
  You're standing on the eastern shore of Lake Draounheer. Across the sparkling blue waters, you can see the snow-covered caps of the Beeg'ashell Mountains, deep in the heart of evil Unnkulia. But here, on this side of the lake, you could truly find peace. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and reeds bend gracefully in the brisk fall breezes. To the east, a path leads back into the forest. North of here, the land slopes up sharply, and the path continues. You could also go southwest, along the shore of the lake - further along, the grassy lakeshore turns into a sandy beach.
  
  The six thugs that make up the Valley Patrol are here, leaning on
  their pikes. They appear to be loafing on the job.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > go to the south-west
  The lakeshore here becomes a stretch of white sand, glaring in the
  fall sunshine. Further south, the land becomes rocky and too difficult to travel; a bit further on, the tip of the awesome Dawg Rock is visible. [9]  You can hear the thunderous crash of water to the south as the lake empties through the Rock. The lake stretches before you to the west. The only way to go appears to be back along the shore to the northeast.
  
  You see a rowboat here.
  
  > look at the boat
  The rowboat is small but looks quite sturdy. The only thing wrong with it is a small round hole in the bottom.
  
  > look at the valmid
  The bronze coin is a valmid, an image of the current monarch on one side and the Hall of the Valley King on the other. It's quite solid currency, good for trade in Unnkulia and beyond.
  
  > examine bottle
  It's Valley Bordeaux 569 - a very good year. It's unopened; the cork's still fitted into the neck.
  
  > go east
  You're standing outside the Valley King's forest retreat. It's a simple hut where His Regalness sheds the trappings of modern civilization and gets back to nature. You don't entirely understand his thinking; you're a warrior, not a philosopher. But he is, after all, the king. Paths wind through the woods to the north, west, and northeast. The hut is to the south. Through the trees to the west, you can see sunlight glinting off the waters of Lake Draounheer.
  
  The Valley Patrol marches up from the west.
  
  > go north
  You're walking along a well-travelled forest path that winds through the peaceful woods. Birds chirp and sing above you, and the temperature is brisk but pleasant. Like many of the children of the Valley, you played in these woods as a child, scampering through the woods, looking for animal tracks, and climbing trees. The path bends here, running south and northeast. The trees also thin out to the west, and the land slopes up in that direction. There's a radberry bush here, but it's been picked clean.
  
  The Valley Patrol marches up from the south.
  
  > Give the bottle to Patrol
  "Hmph," the leader snorts. "Got no use fer that. Whatchoo tryin' to do, bribe the Patrol?"
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > Go south
  You're standing outside the Valley King's forest retreat. It's a simple hut where His Regalness sheds the trappings of modern civilization and gets back to nature. You don't entirely understand his thinking; you're a warrior, not a philosopher. But he is, after all, the king. Paths wind through the woods to the north, west, and northeast. The hut is to the south. Through the trees to the west, you can see sunlight glinting off the waters of Lake Draounheer.
  
  > Go northeast
  You are standing in a peaceful glade in the Forest of Radeekal. The fall colors are glorious this time of year; the trees are ablaze with red, orange, and yellow.
  
  Through the trees, you catch glimpses of cheerful woodland
  creatures, frolicking and gathering nuts and berries for the coming winter. If only you could stay here forever - but there's much to be done. Set in the forest floor is the iron grate leading back down to the realm of the Valley King. It's closed and locked. [2]  A well-traveled path leads southwest, and a narrower track, nearly overgrown, leads due south.
  
  > Go south
  You're walking on a winding path that wends its way through a particularly thick part of the forest. The trees bend low overhead, and the sunlight filtering down through the colorful leaves is dim at best. The path runs north and east. To the south is a mound of moss-covered rocks and what looks like the entrance to a small grotto or cave.
  
  > Break bottle
  You break the bottle over your knee. It shatters into a million pieces, the wine running down your leg. The cork lands on the ground near your feet. Suddenly, a little pixie appears and snatches the cork! "I won't let you solve this game by being so destructive," she scolds in a tinkling voice. She vanishes in a puff of smoke, taking the cork with her.
  
  > Go southwest
  You're standing outside the Valley King's forest retreat. It's a simple hut where His Regalness sheds the trappings of modern civilization and gets back to nature. You don't entirely understand his thinking; you're a warrior, not a philosopher. But he is, after all, the king. Paths wind through the woods to the north, west, and northeast. The hut is to the south. Through the trees to the west, you can see sunlight glinting off the waters of Lake Draounheer.
  
  The six thugs that make up the Valley Patrol are here, leaning on
  their pikes. They appear to be loafing on the job.
  
  The patrol leader tells a particularly foul joke about the Acme salesman and the King's Droll.
  
  > Go upwards
  You're standing on the top floor of the lighthouse. A brisk fall breeze whips up from below, chilling you to the bone. From here, there's quite a view. Southward, the forest stretches out before you, a bright blaze of colors. Across the lake, to the west, are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains. To the north and west, you can just make out the mist-covered Damsogee Swamp, a sinister, uncharted land. The lighthouse lamp sits in the center of the round floor, on top of a brick base. It's currently off. The only exit is back down.
  
  > examine the lamp
  It's currently off. It sits on top of a brick base.
  
  > look at base
  The brick base looks like a recent piece of work; the cement hasn't quite set yet. One of the bricks is slightly loose. You could probably take it out.
  
  > get the brick
  You wiggle the brick around a bit and pull it from the base. A piece of paper flutters from the hole, landing on the ground. You reach for it, but just as your fingertips touch it, a huge bird swoops down out of nowhere, chirping angrily, and snatches the paper from your grasp. Before you can react, the bird is gone, flying swiftly away from the lighthouse.
  
  > go to the south-west
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [7]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [7]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  The six thugs that make up the Valley Patrol are here, leaning on
  their pikes. They appear to be loafing on the job.
  
  The patrol leader tells a particularly foul joke about the Acme salesman and the King's Droll.
  
  > go to the east
  You're walking along a well-travelled forest path that winds through the peaceful woods. Birds chirp and sing above you, and the temperature is brisk but pleasant. Like many of the children of the Valley, you played in these woods as a child, scampering through the woods, looking for animal tracks, and climbing trees. The path bends here, running south and northeast. The trees also thin out to the west, and the land slopes up in that direction. There's a radberry bush here, but it's been picked clean.
  
  > climb the tree
  There's one especially large oak. Gritting your teeth, you pull yourself up through its branches and find yourself -
  
  You're seated on the branch of an old oak tree. You don't dare
  climb any higher; the wind's picking up, and you're afraid of heights as it is. Below you, the forest floor appears to be quite hard. Your stomach is feeling a bit queasy, and you're having trouble keeping your balance. With effort, you pry your eyelids open and look around you. To the west, through the branches, you can see the sandy beaches of Lake Draounheer. To the northeast, you catch a glimpse of what appears to be a wooden roof. Further along the branch is an unfinished bird's nest. The only way out of here is (gulp) back down.
  
  The bird's nest seems to contain a piece of paper.
  
  > get the paper
  You've already got your hands full.
  
  From below, you think you hear gruff voices arguing about something.