text: > look at your surroundings
  The western way continues in all directions - except west.
  
  The clockwork girl is ticking away here and brandishing her axe.
  
  An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.
  
  > take the axe
  You try to snatch the axe from the clockwork girl's hands but it doesn't budge. She takes a retaliatory swipe at you. You realise that your head is now rolling across the floor as a result.
  
  > Go north
  This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.
  
  A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
  
  Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
  
  > examine the rug
  The rug looks a bit loose. The clockwork girl is standing on it, watching you.
  
  > pull the rug
  You yank the rug and the clockwork girl topples over. She thrashes about madly, whirring and clicking like an overturned beetle, but she's not flexible enough to get back on her feet.
  
  A cold wall of pure fear is radiating from the statue. Your limbs tremble, your blood runs icy, then every part of you just stops at once.
  
  > shoot statue
  The statue vanishes in the blink of an eye just before your bullet would have hit it.
  
  You've got one shot left.
  
  Emitting an angry buzzing sound, the clockwork girl spins towards you and deftly removes your head with her axe.
  
  > go north
  This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.
  
  Terror Statue is here.
  
  A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
  
  > Go east
  There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
  
  > Go east
  This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.
  
  There's a small vanity here.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room.
  
  > go south
  The eastern way continues in all directions - except east.
  
  A long dead plant sits in a pot here, black and thoroughly dry.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room.
  
  > Go south
  You're in the vestibule of Ghosterington Manor, a well appointed hall of black marble. Doorways lead west and north, and you can leave the manor to the south.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room.
  
  > Go west
  You're in a creaky, high-ceilinged hall of blackest wood. There are rooms west and east from here.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room.
  
  > go west
  You're in the fabled Contrition Corner, where Vigilance Ghosterington was said to have flagellated himself after writing each of his awful poems. The stories must have been true because the walls really are red with his blood! Doorways leave this creepy room to the north and east.
  
  On the west wall is a painting of Vigilance Ghosterington himself.
  
  > go to the north
  The western way continues in all directions - except west.
  
  An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room.
  
  > go north
  This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.
  
  Terror Statue is here.
  
  A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
  
  > Go west
  There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
  
  Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
  
  > Go west
  This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.
  
  A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
  
  The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
  
  > pull the rug
  You yank the rug and the clockwork girl topples over. She thrashes about madly, whirring and clicking like an overturned beetle, but she's not flexible enough to get back on her feet.
  
  > take the axe
  You try to snatch the axe from the clockwork girl's hands but it doesn't budge. She takes a retaliatory swipe at you. You realise that your head is now rolling across the floor as a result.
  
  > examine the desk
  Can it be? There's actually a dusty sheet of paper still here on the desk. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous scissors poem. You carefully take the poem.
  
  > read the poem
  I run up to her post-haste and cry,
  
  "Don't run with scissors,"
  
  The guck on me would make me scream
  It'd really suck when you couldn't see
  how freaked I was by your eyejuice on me
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  the scissors poem
  paper A
  a black catsuit (being worn)
  a six shooter
  
  > go south
  The western way continues in all directions - except west.
  
  An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.
  
  > look at the shell
  You turn the shell over and a piece of paper tumbles out. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous Thomas Hardy poem. You carefully take the poem.
  
  > read hardy
  Yo, write me, Tess of the D'Urbervilles!
  A-where you been hiding your mad email skills?
  I'm up here jumping like a yeoman
  but I kinda got the feeling you been on the lam.
  
  and it ain't up on the heath, DAMN GIRL, I made an inspection!
  You say you're a tall chick and just wanna have fun
  but this silence sucks some major ass and's making me glum
  
  > go north
  This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.
  
  The clockwork girl is thrashing about uselessly on the floor.
  
  A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
  
  > Go east
  There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
  
  Terror Statue is here.
  
  > go to the east
  This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.
  
  There's a small vanity here.
  
  > look at the vanity
  In a drawer of the vanity you find a crumpled sheet of paper. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous Molecular Biology poem. You carefully take the poem.
  
  > read the biology
  What would you say if I said, "You have nice genes, babe." ?
  
  Let's wear white labcoats and have dinner sometime.
  
  If I was a molecular biologist, I'd add some ligase to your buffer right now. In my lab, you'd find all the restriction enzymes you'd ever need.
  
  In my lab, there would always be a bottle of fine white wine on the ice - stored in a separate refrigerator to the molecular biology specimens, of course.
  
  > go south
  The eastern way continues in all directions - except east.
  
  A long dead plant sits in a pot here, black and thoroughly dry.
  
  > go to the west
  This is a room made of solid, shining gold. Exits lead in all directions.
  
  You hear three clicks from the floor as you enter the room.
  
  In an instant, the golden ceiling descends to the floor, crushing you flat.
  
  > look at the mouth
  As you step closer to examine the mouth, a tiny voice from behind the painting whispers:
  
  "Brown cow's what I used to use
  I need another living muse
  tell me now what should it be
  as well you might, ho ho, hee hee!"
  
  Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
  
  > Elephant
  The voice whispers:
  
  "You got it wrong
  kaboo, kabong!"
  
  > examine the mouth
  A cold wall of pure fear is radiating from the statue. Your limbs tremble, your blood runs icy, then every part of you just stops at once.
  
  > Shoot terror
  (Terror Statue)
  The statue vanishes in the blink of an eye just before your bullet would have hit it.
  
  You've got one shot left.
  
  > Grey elephant
  The voice whispers:
  
  "With suchly flunk
  You truly stunk."
  
  > Go east
  You're in a creaky, high-ceilinged hall of blackest wood. There are rooms west and east from here.
  
  > eat the plant
  Let's get sane.
  
  > look at the pot
  You already searched the long dead plant. There's nothing else there.
  
  > go north
  This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.
  
  There's a small vanity here.
  
  Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
  
  > Go west
  There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
  
  > examine bed
  You rummage through the bed and find a sheet of paper hidden amongst the sheets. You take it.
  
  > Examine paper b.
  There's one word on it: purple.
  
  Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
  
  > Go west
  This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.
  
  The clockwork girl is thrashing about uselessly on the floor.
  
  A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
  
  > Purple elephant
  The painting slides aside and out of sight, revealing a passage to the west.
  
  > go west
  Ooooh, a Secret Room!
  Few things are more exciting in an adventurer's life than the discovery of a secret room. These things include: jetpacking around Mount Everest, playing Twister on the moon and sharing a pot of tea with Lara Croft. You have done all these things, but you're still pretty pleased to have discovered this tiny secret location in Ghosterington Manor. There's a lever on the wall and an exit to the east.
  
  Trying and failing to be inconspicuous in the corner is a chest.
  
  > examine the chest
  You open the chest and find something inside. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous lobster poem. You've hit the jackpot! You carefully take the poem.
  
  > read the lobster
  I tied my lobster to a tree. I came back later, but woe was me!
  "Oh where oh where can my lobster be?" (I asked no-one in particular.) Mirelle offered the following: "Perhaps he has eloped in the romantic tradition."
  I considered what Mirelle had told me.
  We disagreed, and a short while later our relationship began to go downhill.
  
  My lobster ne'er was returned to me! Now I walk the Seine alone.
  
  > pull the lever
  You move the lever to the OFF position.
  
  > examine the lever
  It's labelled 'TERROR', and is currently in the off position.
  
  > go east
  You're in the fabled Contrition Corner, where Vigilance Ghosterington was said to have flagellated himself after writing each of his awful poems. The stories must have been true because the walls really are red with his blood! Doorways leave this creepy room to the west, north and east.
  
  > Go south
  You retrieved the following poems from the manor:
  
  The Thomas Hardy poem         2 million dollars
  The Molecular Biology poem    4 million dollars
  The lobster poem              9 million dollars
  
  Total monetary value: 16 MILLION DOLLARS
  
  Total cultural value: HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
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  > wait awhile
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  > wait
  Time passes.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  --- UH OH, IT'S MIDNIGHT ---
  
  Ghosterington Manor vanishes and you vanish along with it.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
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