text: [Themes: modern, puzzle]
  
  You are Nick, a computer guy. You work at a company, doing computer things. You feel pretty happy with your job, but lately you've noticed a lot of your employees and peers have been leaving for a new start-up, Inkfosecurity, focused on printer engineering and information security. You've scheduled an interview with their HR department after hearing nothing but good things from your former coworkers.
  
  You've traveled to Inkfosec's HQ, a small town in the southwestern US, and you're now standing outside their building, a tall, nondescript skyscraper of dark glass. Immediately after entering you're whisked away to a conference room, shivering at the difference in temperature. After waiting for close to an hour, and still no interviewer, you weigh your chances of missing the interview if you head to the bathroom.
  
  Do you:
  
  [Author's Note: Merry Christmas! This is a Christmas present for my Dad, though others are welcome to play it. This game involves computer coding, giant squid, an evil plot, and Norman, the helpful Gnu.]
  
  > head to the bathroom
  You head to the bathroom and do what you need to do. As you're washing up, however, you notice a slight sound - almost like Maia, your labrador, whimpering - is coming from a stall at the end of the bathroom. Concerned, you approach it and knock, only to hear, "NO! Don't say yes! Get out while you can!"
  
  A little spooked, you second-guess your decision to leave your safe, if stressful and boring, old job. Do you:
  
  > head back to the interview
  Ignoring the strange man in the bathroom and heading back to the interview seems like the best option. As you walk back to the room, you pass a door, slightly ajar, that you don't remember passing before. You wouldn't usually go where you think you aren't supposed to, but the door is open, and that dude in the bathroom has you wanting to learn a little more about the company you might end up working for. But, if you get caught, you might be done before you even get an interview.
  
  Do you:
  
  > ignore your curiosity and head back to the interview
  Heading back to the chilly room you spent several hours in before your journey, you find not just one, but three people waiting, presumably to interview you. Apologizing for the wait, you get down to business. After the usual inquiries, the questions start to get...strange.
  
  "Have you ever been diving anywhere south of the Cape of Good Hope?"
  
  "How do you feel about GMO's?"
  
  "What's your favorite color?"
  
  You're starting to go nuts with all these questions, especially because one interviewer won't stop tapping. Taptaptap - taptap - taptaptaptaptap - tap. Ugh. Drawing the line at a question about possible Egyptian lineage, you then get bombarded with technical questions. It turns out the job you're interviewing for isn't Infosecurity at all, but rather Sysadmin - but you can do what they want you to, and the pay is too good to argue.
  
  At the end of the interview, they offer you the job. Do you:
  
  > Decline
  You take the safe bet and escape outside, dodging the meeting room you'd spent your afternoon in. By nightfall, you're several states away. In retrospect, maybe you overreacted a little, but it's not a big deal. As you turn the corner, you spot something in your rearview mirror. Slowing, the mass - are they clouds? - only seems to get bigger. Pulling to the side of the road, you look back into the fading sun, only to see the great, roiling waves of ink - of course carrying giant squid - bear down on your car. You feel a sick sense of premonition that this was caused by the company you just fled from. Maybe, if you'd chosen differently, you could have saved yourself.
  
  The great wave of ink reaches you.
  
  Heading back to the chilly room you spent several hours in before your journey, you find not just one, but three people waiting, presumably to interview you. Apologizing for the wait, you get down to business. After the usual inquiries, the questions start to get...strange.
  
  "Have you ever been diving anywhere south of the Cape of Good Hope?"
  
  "How do you feel about GMO's?"
  
  "What's your favorite color?"
  
  You're starting to go nuts with all these questions, especially because one interviewer won't stop tapping. Taptaptap - taptap - taptaptaptaptap - tap. Ugh. Drawing the line at a question about possible Egyptian lineage, you then get bombarded with technical questions. It turns out the job you're interviewing for isn't Infosecurity at all, but rather Sysadmin - but you can do what they want you to, and the pay is too good to argue.
  
  At the end of the interview, they offer you the job. Do you:
  
  > Accept
  Today's been...strange, you think, as you are lead to your new office. The interviewers explained that you'll have to stay here a few days, as they anticipate big demands on their server in a few days, and you need to familiarize yourself with the system. Your office is, if possible, colder than your interview room, filled with huge stacks of mainframes and with three monitors ringing your desk. The aid points out a huge red button that you are NEVER TO PRESS, as it shuts down the entire system. After explaining the basic layout of the system, you're left to get to work.
  
  Do you:
  
  > press that big, shiny red button
  Immediately red lights start flashing. On the middle screen of your computer, there's a flashing sentence, with an input box below it.
  
  > 3251
  You feel the thrashing cries of the squid through the building, and hear the shatter of glass as you ride the door of your room down a wave of ink.
  
  You are Nick, the computer guy. You have defeated the Order of the Giant Squid. You strike fear into the hearts of printer companies and squids alike. Though you may have to come back to defeat the rest of this company (this wasn't their only HQ, and you still don't know what they wanted the squid for), you're going to go home to your family.
  
  I love you Dad, Merry Christmas!