text: [Themes: Humor, Horror, Mystery, gumshoe, adaptation]
  
  > Go downward
  You are in the archetypal creepy cellar. Your flashlight does little to comfort you, as if the darkness were a thing fighting against you. Doors lead east and south and the cellar stretches further to the southeast, into pitch darkness. Spiral stairs lead upward.
  
  > get the key
  (the lab key)
  The insane cannibal woman seems to think you aren't a threat. . .
  
  (putting the Times clipping into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You're carrying too many things already.
  
  > go north
  The insane cannibal seems to think you aren't a threat. . .
  
  You are in the archetypal creepy cellar. Your flashlight does little to comfort you, as if the darkness were a thing fighting against you. Doors lead east and south and the cellar stretches further to the southeast, into pitch darkness. Spiral stairs lead upward.
  
  > Go south
  This strange room looks like it was to be a sub-basement that never materialized. Instead, a deep, wide, dark hole punctures the ground. The smell from the hole is indescribable and it sounds like a hundred crazy degenerates are wandering dark warrens within it. The door back to the basement is north.
  
  In the dirt, near the hole to the warrens, is a new-looking key.
  
  Standing sentry by this horrible portal is some sort of insane cannibal. She eyes you hungrily.
  
  > drop the old key
  Dropped.
  
  > get the new key
  The insane cannibal woman seems to think you aren't a threat. . .
  
  You pick up the lab key from the ground.
  
  > Go north
  The insane cannibal seems to think you aren't a threat. . .
  
  You are in the archetypal creepy cellar. Your flashlight does little to comfort you, as if the darkness were a thing fighting against you. Doors lead east and south and the cellar stretches further to the southeast, into pitch darkness. Spiral stairs lead upward.
  
  You can see an old key here.
  
  > unlock the laboratory door with the new key
  You unlock the laboratory door.
  
  > talk to Diaz
  Maybe you should ask or tell about more specific topics.
  
  Bernardo looks at you quizically.
  
  > show the chalice to Diaz
  (first taking the silver chalice)
  (putting the Herald clipping into the trenchcoat to make room)
  "Si, that is what we use to drink the blood of our
  sacrifices. David Lane, the man for which you are looking, was especially delicious."
  
  "Don't look at me quizically.", you tell him, "David Lane disappeared and I'm sure as shit your little cult has something to do with it."
  
  > ask Diaz about Lane
  "I don't know much about lane."
  
  Bernardo rolls his eyes and smiles, telling you all you need to know: David Lane is dead at the hands of the cult of Castronegro.
  
  > shoot diaz
  With what, idiot? You're not holding your revolver.
  
  > take revolver
  (putting the train ticket into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You're carrying too many things already.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a cigar lighter
  a silver chalice
  a lab key
  a skeleton key
  the broken spectacles
  a black robe (being worn)
  a flashlight (providing light)
  a fedora (being worn)
  a set of clothes (being worn)
  a trenchcoat (being worn and open)
  a train ticket
  a Herald clipping
  a Times clipping
  an ashtray
  a revolver
  a paperback book
  a torn envelope
  the archive key
  a scrapbook
  a cleaver
  a broken pocket watch
  a mysterious letter
  a broken padlock
  a sickle
  a holster (being worn)
  
  > drop the skeleton key
  Dropped.
  
  > take revolver
  You take the revolver from the trenchcoat.
  
  > shoot diaz
  You fire several shots at the cult leader but the slugs bounce off his skin as if it were enchanted with magical armor. Bernardo simply laughs at you.
  
  > Burn diaz
  This dangerous act would achieve little.
  
  > switch lighter on
  You switch the cigar lighter on.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > Burn diaz
  This dangerous act would achieve little.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > Attack diaz with the sickle
  (first taking the sickle)
  (putting the broken spectacles into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You move to attack the cult leader but he swiftly moves out of your way. As you stumble forward from your clumsy lunge, he sinks a ceremonial dagger deep into your back.
  
  > show the chalice to Diaz
  (first taking the silver chalice)
  (putting the Herald clipping into the trenchcoat to make room)
  "Si, that is what we use to drink the blood of our
  sacrifices. David Lane, the man for which you are looking, was especially delicious."
  
  Bernardo looks at you quizically.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  "Don't look at me quizically.", you tell him, "David Lane disappeared and I'm sure as shit your little cult has something to do with it."
  
  > wait awhile
  Time passes.
  
  Bernardo rolls his eyes and smiles, telling you all you need to know: David Lane is dead at the hands of the cult of Castronegro.
  
  > take the ring
  That seems to be a part of Bernardo de Diaz.
  
  > examine the bulbs
  They are bare light bulbs.
  
  > Break bulbs
  That would hurt your hands.
  
  > put all in the coat
  cigar lighter: Done.
  silver chalice: Done.
  lab key: Done.
  skeleton key: Done.
  broken spectacles: Done.
  train ticket: Done.
  flashlight: Done.
  
  > take off the robe
  You take off the black robe.
  
  > Shoot ring
  With what, idiot?
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > take revolver
  You take the revolver from the trenchcoat.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > Shoot ring
  "That is one ass-ugly ring.", you say, squeezing off your shot. The ring explodes in a shower of arcane fire while the bulbs above you explode in a shower of sparks. Bernardo de Diaz quickly rots as he falls to the ground with a wet thwump!
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > go west
  In order to really stop this cult, you realize this house needs to be burned to the ground!
  
  You are in the archetypal creepy cellar. Your flashlight does little to comfort you, as if the darkness were a thing fighting against you. Doors lead east and south and the cellar stretches further to the southeast, into pitch darkness. Spiral stairs lead upward.
  
  You can see an old key here.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > Go upward
  This kitchen is a husk of what it may once have been. The cabinets are now just wooden ribcages as only the frames remain. Everything here seems primitive; as if dating from the 18th century. A wood-burning stove sits to one side and a sideboard sits across from it. In the corner of this room, spiral stairs lead down into darkness.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > open the stove
  You open the wood-burning stove.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > put the lighter in the stove
  The cigar lighter would be useless there.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > examine the stove
  A relic from another time. It is currently open. The thing looks clogged and disused. Surely, if any wood were ever put in there and lit, the house would go up in flames.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > break the cabinets with the sickle
  There's no way to break the cabinets with the sickle.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > Break cabinets
  That would hurt your hands.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > get the cabinets
  That's hardly portable.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > break the cabinets with the cleaver
  There's no way to break the cabinets with the cleaver.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > examine the cabinets
  Just a husk of what they once were. Where the hell did the bottoms and doors go? This place is Bananatown.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > search the cabinets
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > take all
  flashlight: You take the flashlight from the trenchcoat.
  train ticket: You take the train ticket from the trenchcoat.
  broken spectacles: You take the broken spectacles from the trenchcoat. skeleton key: You take the skeleton key from the trenchcoat.
  lab key: (putting the black robe into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the lab key from the trenchcoat.
  silver chalice: (putting the revolver into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the silver chalice from the trenchcoat.
  cigar lighter: (putting the train ticket into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the cigar lighter from the trenchcoat.
  Herald clipping: (putting the broken spectacles into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the Herald clipping from the trenchcoat.
  Times clipping: (putting the skeleton key into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the Times clipping from the trenchcoat.
  ashtray: (putting the lab key into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the ashtray from the trenchcoat.
  paperback book: (putting the silver chalice into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the paperback book from the trenchcoat.
  torn envelope: (putting the cigar lighter into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the torn envelope from the trenchcoat.
  archive key: (putting the Herald clipping into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the archive key from the trenchcoat.
  scrapbook: (putting the Times clipping into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the scrapbook from the trenchcoat.
  cleaver: (putting the ashtray into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the cleaver from the trenchcoat.
  broken pocket watch: (putting the paperback book into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the broken pocket watch from the trenchcoat.
  mysterious letter: (putting the torn envelope into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the mysterious letter from the trenchcoat.
  broken padlock: (putting the archive key into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the broken padlock from the trenchcoat.
  sickle: (putting the scrapbook into the trenchcoat to make room)
  You take the sickle from the trenchcoat.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > put all in the trenchcoat
  sickle: Done.
  broken padlock: Done.
  mysterious letter: Done.
  broken pocket watch: Done.
  cleaver: Done.
  flashlight: Done.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > put the paperback book in the stove
  The paperback book would be useless there.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > break the sideboard with the cleaver
  There's no way to break the sideboard with the cleaver.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > break the sideboard with the sickle
  There's no way to break the sideboard with the sickle.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > put the sideboard in the stove
  The sideboard would be useless there.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > go to the south
  You can't go that way.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > take the flashlight
  You take the flashlight from the trenchcoat.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.
  
  > go west
  (first opening kitchen door)
  It seems to be locked.
  
  A meager flame emits from your cigar lighter but it's not enough by which to see.