text: [Themes: Comedy]
  
  > look around
  Bathroom of the... Meatpacking... Plant? (Chris Jones) (on the
  toilet (in space)) (in the stall (in space)) (in the terrifying void full of alien stars (aka "space"))
  This is a perfectly normal bathroom. In space. Beyond the visible rays of the life-giving sun, surrounded by strange and distant constellations. There's a bathroom stall (which is floating in the void of space next to you), a urinal (floating in space nearby), a sink with a mirror over it (yup, both floating in space) and even a shower (space!) for those days at work when you are FLOATING IN THE LIFELESS VOID OF SPACE OH GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN YOUR CHILD IN THIS FRIGID AIRLESS HELL.
  
  Actually wait okay, there appears to be air at least, that's something. And it's pretty cozy in the stall, to be honest. The toilet itself is a lot nicer here, and there's an old-timey phonograph and even a fireplace with a hearth on one side of the stall. It wouldn't be the worst place you've dropped a deuce, even accounting for the fact that you're millions of miles from everything you've ever known or loved and surrounded by weird shit. Speaking of which:
  
  There's some weird shit orbitting the space bathroom-stall: some corpses, a small bookshelf (on which is nothing), Ed's bare-assed frozen space corpse, and what appears to be a... '70s Pontiac Firebird a little farther out, all circling slowly through space.
  
  And the bathroom itself appears to be in orbit around an icy planetoid many miles below you, the curve taking up much of your view in one direction. The planetoid is covered in alien spires and hurts to look at. Otherwise, you know, this is still a perfectly normal meatpacking plant bathroom. In space.
  
  You can see a pentagram (covered in blue flames) floating in the void, not too far from the space urinal here.
  
  > examine the planetoid
  The lower half of your view is the curve of an icy planetoid covered in fluted alien spires that are barely visible against the inky blackness of space. Squinting, you can just barely make out strange, unwholesome shapes bumble-flying among the spires. The flying things must be huge, bigger than buildings. The flying things hurt to look at. The spires hurt to look at. The whole planetoid hurts to look at. There is something unsavory and threatening about all of it.
  
  And you can't shake the gut feeling that the planetoid is somehow looking back at you. Even though that is insane.
  
  > examine toilet
  It's like the one on the other side of the magical portal inside the bowl, except the seat is plush which is pretty baller. The toilet is open and has some kind of luminiferous æther in it.
  
  > sit on the toilet
  But you're already on the toilet (in space).
  
  > Flush toilet
  You flush the toilet. The luminiferous æther begins to circle in the bowl under your bum, making alien colors and weird shadows dance along the walls of the stall, just like it did back in the terrestrial bathroom. Then the walls start spinning. Then space starts spinning, the stars turning to long streaks of color like a timelapse photo of the night sky. Reality itself begins to swirl around you, like æther in a toilet bowl...
  Suddenly you're pulled backwards and downwards, by your bum, into the locus of the reality swirl, just like before...
  You are hurtling bum-first through a hyperspace wormhole of kaleidoscopic color-lines, just in the opposite direction this time. Damn, that homeless woman was on point. Maybe it WAS spelled "Cambells" all along. Anyway, this return trip through the worm-hole takes a little longer, giving you some time to ponder things. Things like... hey, wait, didn't that handwritten note say these trips through the portal were powered by baby souls? That had to be code for something, right? Like, you using this toilet isn't somehow using up baby s
  Bathroom of the Meatpacking Plant  (Chris Jones) (on the
  toilet) (in the stall)
  You're inside the bathroom stall, which is one of those big accessible ones. There's a surprisingly clean porcelain toilet sitting invitingly in the center of the stall, with some kind of luminiferous æther in the open bowl.
  
  The luminiferous æther is glowing slightly, bathing the stall in a panalopy of alien colors that have no terrestrial equivalents.
  
  Next to the toilet, there's one of those grab bars set into the wall. Next to that, there's a little door to what appears to be a janitor's closet, if the word "Janitor" on the door is any indication. Next to that, there's a medicine cabinet. And all around those things
  are graffiti. Just tons and tons of graffiti. Speaking of: on the back of the stall door, someone scratched the words "I Told You Not To
  Use The Shitter, Broseph". Below that on the door, someone has inscribed the Elder Sign.
  
  You can see a pentagram edge (covered in blue flames) on the floor just outside the stall (on which is a candle shaped like a hand (of which a finger is on fire) (smelling faintly of mildew)) here.
  
  The boneless horse oozles and schlorps around the stall, occasionally smacking it with a hoof, still making car engine noises. "Br-RN-NN-NN-NN-NN!". The Elder Sign holds. For now.
  
  > unlock the closet with the keys
  You unlock the janitor's closet.
  
  > open it
  You open the janitor's closet, revealing a fur coat and a candle shaped like a human foot.
  
  > examine the coat
  A thigh-length belted calfskin coat, clean as if it's never been outside.
  
  > look at the foot candle
  You're starting to worry that the candlers who are supplying this restroom are running out of PG bodyparts.
  
  > get all from the closet
  fur coat: Taken.
  
  candle shaped like a human foot: Taken.
  
  > put the keys in the kp
  These are the keys to the Janitor's closet in the meatpacking restroom, and if you want to take them, you gotta take Ed's whole coveralls, because they are not coming off.
  
  The boneless horse oozles and schlorps around the stall, occasionally smacking it with a hoof, still making car engine noises. "Br-RN-NN-NN-NN-NN!". The Elder Sign holds. For now.
  
  > put the coveralls in the kp
  You unzip the key pocket, deposit Ed's coveralls, then zip the key pocket back up again.
  
  > Light foot
  You flick the rad wizard lighter (smelling faintly of mildew) a few times over the foot shaped candle. It takes a couple tries but you manage to get a toe to light, finally. One of the candle's toes I mean, not your toes, just like when it was the hand candle and arrrgh you know what I mean. The stupid foot candle is lit. Anyway, the lights in the bathroom flicker again, but the cackling sounds more like guffaws this time, and it turns out the foot candle is beach scented instead of lavender.
  
  > examine foot
  You're starting to worry that the candlers who are supplying this restroom are running out of PG bodyparts. One of the toes is on fire. That's okay though, you did that on purpose. Looks like this one doesn't melt when exposed to heat either. Freaking weird body-part-shaped not-wax candles...