text: There's a argument between Randy and his friends as they decide what to do with you. Some of them want to just beat you until you resemble a walking corpse. Others want to lock you in a dumpster with meat and Randy's two pitbulls. Finally Randy gets the idea to lock you in the Mausoleum at Spinner's Cemetery for the night, to see how long you last before you run out crying and peeing yourself. At this point you get on your knees, sobbing hysterically. "No! Please!" you sob. "I don't wanna go in there!"
  
  At this point Randy kicks you as hard as he can in the face. "You're fucking pathetic!" he spits. "Alright, fine, it's either that or Old Man Jenkin's house."
  
  "The serial killer?" you cry.
  
  "Yep. Those two are your only options. Either that, or get beat down every day of your life until you graduate college!"
  
  So where will you choose to be locked up at?
  
  > Old Man Jenkin's
  There's no way you're gonna be locked up in a abandoned cemetery. At least if you're locked up in that house, it won't be so hard to outrun an old man. You're dragged over to the creepy old house outside of town, where you begin to have second thoughts. With the house's peeling paint, cracked windows, and rickety shutters, the house actually looks like a classic haunted house in one of the old horror movies you've watched.
  
  Too late to back out now though: if you leave the house before dawn, Randy and his friends will beat you to a pulp every day until graduation. They must really hate you to single you out over a bunch of little kids. You begin to ascend the narrow old steps, when they creak, you freeze. "Hey!" one of Randy's goons yell, "Whattya waiting for? Get up there before we beat your face in!" They begin to move towards you, which is all the incentive you need to run into the house, close the door behind you, and lock it.
  
  Looking around, you breathe a sigh of relief as there seems to be nobody else in the room with you. You're in a front hall of some sort, with doors leading out on either side, and a tall, wide, sweeping staircase in front of you, leading upstairs. Both doors are shut tight, but the right one has some sort of weird symbol on it.
  
  > go upstairs
  You make your way up the staircase, and lacking any better ideas you try the first door you see, thinking you can't really hide in the hallway. As you open the door, that is no longer an issue, as looking at you with a surprised expression is Old Man Jenkins himself!
  
  You stare at him in terror, but he just sighs and shakes his head. "Let me guess," he says in a gravelly vioce, "you're here to 'punk' me, aren't you?" You look at him. "Punk you?" you ask. He nods. "Here to prank me for my so-called 'heinous crimes' that I didn't even commit." You shake your head. "N-no, it's not like that!" you exclaim, and tell him everything about your situation. At this, his stern gaze becomes more sympathetic and understanding. "Ah, so that's what it is," he says once you've finished, "I was bullied myself a lot back in the day." "So you killed them all?" you ask. "Good gracious, no!" he says, shocked. "No, it was a vampire that killed those poor people. A vampire that I have trapped in my cellar with runes of Warding." You stare at him, dumbfounded. A what?
  
  He explains his story: 50 years ago, Reginald Jenkins was an up-and-coming historian who collected artifacts. When he found out that the body of Count Petrolav of Romania, an aristocrat famed for his brutality, was for sale, he jumped at the chance to buy it. This would later be the worst mistake of his life, as the Count's famed torture method of slowly draining his victims of blood was due to the fact that he was a vampire. When Jenkins was throwing a get-together to celebrate his thirty-third birthday, the vampire woke up and began to lay waste to the guests. At this, Jenkins pulled a cowardly move: he told the remaining survivors to go hide in the basement, and when the vampire ran in after them, he locked them all in with them, and put a sign of Warding over the door he learned when he was in Eastern Europe to trap the Vampire in.
  
  Since then, he's been waiting for somebody to come and help get rid of the vampire menace once and for all. "That's where you come in." he says. You look around, wondering if maybe somebody else walked in through the door. Then you look at Jenkins. "Wait. What?!" you exclaim. Old Man Jenkins literally falls on his knees. "Please, boy! I still have a lot of money from my days when I was traveling. Get rid of this threat once and for all, and I'll make sure you're compensated."
  
  > help kill the vampire
  Hey, there's no harm in trying! With money, you can finally be popular! Plus, getting rid of a vampire would totally boost your street cred. In the chance that Old Man Jenkin's is actually senile, you figure you can just lie and say you killed it and get a nice fat check.
  
  Yeah, taking advantage of a crazy old man. Nice morals you got.
  
  Anyway, you get to the door with the weird symbol on it, and begin to descend into darkness. At the bottom, you enter into the basement and see a wooden coffin placed in the middle of the room. Ok... maybe it's empty? You walk up to the coffin and open the lid. Inside is a pale corpse with black hair, dressed in a thirteenth-century robe. At least, you think it's a corpse, until its' eyes snap open, revealing blood-red irises! You leap back, and the vampire immediately jumps out of his coffin. "So!" the vampire exclaims in a deep, resounding voice. "So who is this mortal that dares to interrupt my slumber! A tasty snack, perhaps?" What are you gonna do?
  
  > beg for mercy
  Seriously? A bloodthirsty, cruel vampire that used to torture his victims and hasn't drank blood for 50 years, and you beg for mercy? DENIED! He drinks all your blood, and since you were too stupid to shut the door behind you, he escapes and kills Jenkins out of revenge for trapping him before going out to feed and socialize with the "wenches".
  
  So in your final moments, you killed not only yourself, but also a harmless old man, and released a monstrous supernatural beast on the town. Nice job proving that everyone who ever called you a moron was right.