text: [Themes: Espionage, Horror]
  
  > Go downwards
  This low, earth-hewn passage is cramped and dirty. Held up by crude wooden props, it looks none too stable. The tunnel is quite short, only about twenty metres in length. At the south-east end is the short stone staircase which leads up to the trapdoor, while to the north-west is an enormous door.
  
  The enormous door is more firmly shut than the main air-lock on Space Shuttle Paranoia.
  
  > open door
  It seems to be locked.
  
  > look at the door
  An enormous, circular door, no doubt made of some extremely unlikely space age metal which can only be cut using a knife blade forged in the core of a red giant. Or something like that. There, right in the centre, is one of those lock-cum-handle thingummybobs that you get on all good bank vaults.
  
  > turn the handle
  (the dial)
  Which way?
  
  > examine the handle
  (the dial)
  The lock is the traditional turning type, with eight letters arranged evenly around the dial:
  
  D  |  Z
  \|/
  N+S
  /|\
  I  |  L
  |
  W
  
  There is a small black button underneath the uppermost letter.
  
  > open the jar
  It's already open.
  
  > shoot the handle with the pistol
  (the dial with the toy pistol)
  The liquid squirts feebly out of the pistol and into the ground.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a garden fork
  a rubber glove
  a glass jar
  a toy pistol
  a white coat (being worn)
  a key ring
  a can of beer
  a briefcase (which is open)
  a remote control (which is open but empty)
  a faxed note
  a leaflet
  a typed note
  a sou'wester (being worn)
  
  > examine leaflet
  The leaflet has been torn, mud-bespattered, and generally maltreated, and as such you can make out very little, but it seems to cover topics as wide ranging as sheep varieties, weather forecasting and the country code. It also includes a badly typeset advert for a badly typeset computer game called 'LSE' by Shirc Shimt.
  
  > open door
  It seems to be locked.
  
  > look up the country code in the leaflet
  The main points of the country code are, according to the leaflet:
  
  - Guard against all risk of fire.
  - Leave gates as you find them.
  - Keep dogs under close control.
  - Keep to public footpaths.
  - Take your litter home.
  - Make no unnecessary noise.
  
  The leaflet goes on to explain how anyone breaking the code in Skebdale faces punishment by the Skebdale flying squad, an elite group of park wardens who punish criminals quickly and efficiently.
  
  > turn dial left
  You turn the dial one notch anticlockwise.
  
  E  |  S
  \|/
  D+L
  /|\
  N  |  W
  |
  I
  
  > look at the handle
  (the dial)
  The lock is the traditional turning type, with eight letters arranged evenly around the dial:
  
  E  |  S
  \|/
  D+L
  /|\
  N  |  W
  |
  I
  
  There is a small black button underneath the uppermost letter.
  
  > turn the handle right
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  N  |  E
  \|/
  I+Z
  /|\
  W  |  S
  |
  L
  
  > keep going
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  I  |  D
  \|/
  W+E
  /|\
  L  |  Z
  |
  S
  
  > turn the handle right
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  W  |  N
  \|/
  L+D
  /|\
  S  |  E
  |
  Z
  
  > continue
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  L  |  I
  \|/
  S+N
  /|\
  Z  |  D
  |
  E
  
  > keep going
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  S  |  W
  \|/
  Z+I
  /|\
  E  |  N
  |
  D
  
  > turn the handle right
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  Z  |  L
  \|/
  E+W
  /|\
  D  |  I
  |
  N
  
  > turn the handle right
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  E  |  S
  \|/
  D+L
  /|\
  N  |  W
  |
  I
  
  > Keep going
  (the dial right)
  You turn the dial one notch clockwise.
  
  D  |  Z
  \|/
  N+S
  /|\
  I  |  L
  |
  W
  
  > Go upwards
  The farmhouse's lounge closely resembles a bomb site. An old sofa, covered in ragged blankets and thin cushions, is positioned opposite a large TV and a wide, open fireplace. The window, hung with clashing flowery curtains, faces out onto the farmyard. A door in the east wall leads out to the hall.
  
  A dark staircase leads downwards from the open trapdoor.
  
  A rolled up rug lies on the floor next to the fireplace.
  
  The storm continues at full force outside.
  
  > go south
  This wide rectangle of concrete is littered with the chaotic fallout of everyday dairy farming. And its brown! The stark windows of the farmhouse stare accusingly down into the yard from the north, and, to the east, the roof of the main barn is outlined against the rising sun.
  
  Towering black cumulonimbus clouds pour forth vast quantities of tiny, hard hailstones onto Skebdale.
  
  The farm gate to the south-west is safely shut.
  
  A group of clucking chickens peck their way around the farmyard, desperately searching for grain.
  
  The unusually violent storm suddenly dies and Skebdale is silent and peaceful once more.
  
  > go to the north
  This single-roomed inn is dominated by a long bar, topped with perfectly polished wood. The shelves behind the bar are stacked to breaking point with sparkling glasses and inviting bottles. A single beer pump protrudes forlornly from the bar at one end, but it is, unfortunately, un-manned, so you will have to cope without a drink. A well-oiled wooden door leads south-east into the street.
  
  Old Tom, Old Dick, and Old Harry sit around the beer pump, whispering conspiratorially.
  
  You can see a burnt-out battery here.
  
  > R.
  What do you want to drop?
  
  > Go east
  Painted in an uninspiring shade of pastel cream-gunk, the farmhouse kitchen has evolved over time into a mixture of modern and ancient appliances jumbled against the walls. Decorated with stains ranging from champagne to tomato ketchup, the ceiling has obviously seen country life in all its glory.
  
  You can see a kettle here.
  
  > take the kettle
  (putting the toy pistol into the briefcase to make room)
  Taken.
  
  > plug in the kettle
  You'll have to put the kettle down first.
  
  > plug in the kettle
  You plug the kettle in.
  
  > turn on the kettle
  You switch the kettle on. A little red light above the switch jumps into life to show you it is working.
  
  > look at the jar
  A small blank glass jar. It is half full of a clear liquid.
  
  > open the jar
  It's already open.
  
  > shoot the pistol into the jar
  (first taking the toy pistol)
  You fire the contents of the pistol back into the jar.
  
  > close jar
  You close the glass jar.
  
  > examine the kettle
  A blue plastic electric kettle, which contains a little cold water. I shouldn't waste it: after all, there is a water shortage in Skebdale at the moment. Its black power wire leads to a white three-pin plug. The kettle is currently switched on.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  > examine the kettle
  A blue plastic electric kettle, which contains a little warm water, and is gently steaming. Its black power wire leads to a white three-pin plug.
  The kettle is currently switched on.
  
  > examine the kettle
  A blue plastic electric kettle, which contains a little hot water, and is steaming furiously. Its black power wire leads to a white three-pin plug.
  The kettle is currently switched on.
  
  > examine the kettle
  A blue plastic electric kettle, which contains a little boiling water, and is still steaming. Its black power wire leads to a white three-pin plug.
  The kettle is currently switched on.
  The kettle, having boiled, switches itself off, and the red indicator light dies.
  
  > pour the water in the pistol
  Which do you mean, the kettle or the steam?
  
  > pour the kettle in pistol
  (first taking the kettle)
  Although made of plastic, the kettle is still far too hot to pick up.
  
  > unplug the kettle
  You unplug the kettle.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a toy pistol
  a garden fork
  a rubber glove
  a glass jar
  a white coat (being worn)
  a key ring
  a can of beer
  a briefcase (which is open)
  a remote control (which is open but empty)
  a faxed note
  a leaflet
  a typed note
  a sou'wester (being worn)
  
  > Wear glove
  You try and pull the glove on, but it is too small for either of your well-built hands.
  
  > put the glove on the kettle
  That would achieve little.
  
  > examine the steam
  Hot, wet, and steamy.
  
  > fill the pistol from the kettle
  (first taking the kettle)
  (putting the glass jar into the briefcase to make room)
  You fill the pistol with water.
  
  > take the kettle
  You already have that.
  
  > look at the kettle
  A blue plastic electric kettle, which contains a little hot water, and is steaming furiously. Its black power wire leads to a white three-pin plug.
  The kettle is currently switched off.
  
  > Go south
  This wide rectangle of concrete is littered with the chaotic fallout of everyday dairy farming. And its brown! The stark windows of the farmhouse stare accusingly down into the yard from the north, and, to the east, the roof of the main barn is outlined against the rising sun.
  
  The farm gate to the south-west is safely shut.
  
  A group of clucking chickens peck their way around the farmyard, desperately searching for grain.
  
  The border collie trots towards you from the main barn.
  
  > examine farmer
  He never bothers to prosecute trespassers: he has far better methods.
  
  "Three..."
  
  > throw the jar at the farmer
  (first taking the glass jar)
  (putting the rubber glove into the briefcase to make room)
  The farmer shouts several expletives and then shuts up.
  
  "Three..."
  
  > go to the east
  You can't get inside the house.
  
  "Three..."
  
  > climb the gate
  You hop over the closed gate...
  
  This wide rectangle of concrete is littered with the chaotic fallout of everyday dairy farming. And its brown! The stark windows of the farmhouse stare accusingly down into the yard from the north, and, to the east, the roof of the main barn is outlined against the rising sun.
  
  The farm gate to the south-west is safely shut.
  
  A group of clucking chickens peck their way around the farmyard, desperately searching for grain.
  
  > Go southwest
  You can't, since the wooden gate is in the way.
  
  The border collie trots towards you from the farm hallway.
  
  > Go east
  Most of the space in the east end of the farms high stone barn is taken up by a huge haystack of rectangular bales, each of which is held together with tough, plastic twine. Around the double doors rusty farm equipment, almost inevitably infected with a potent range of bacteria, microbes, protozoa and agriculture ministers, lies derelict and unused.
  
  A red and white tractor is parked next to the haystack.
  
  > open the tractor
  It seems to be locked.
  
  The border collie trots towards you from the farmyard.
  
  > look at the collie
  A sleek, speckled, black and white border collie.
  
  > look at the ledge
  A stack of hay, towering vertically upwards. Half-way up, just out of reach, there is a small ledge.
  
  > climb the hay
  The haystack is far too steep to climb unaided. However, you can almost, but not quite, reach a tiny ledge about a metre above your head.
  
  The border collie pads off towards the farmyard.
  
  > climb the ledge
  The haystack is far too steep to climb unaided. However, you can almost, but not quite, reach a tiny ledge about a metre above your head.
  
  > climb the tractor
  You climb up the tractor onto its roof.
  
  > climb the ledge
  By standing on the tractor you can just reach the ledge and haul yourself over the brink...
  
  You have to stoop on this tiny ledge in the side of the haystack, cunningly roofed over with bales. Your vertigo quickly kicks in and the barn floor seems to be a million miles away: downwards.
  
  A thin dark passage leads westwards into the bales.
  
  A furled rope ladder is attached to some bales at one side of the ledge.
  
  > examine the ladder
  A strong rope ladder, twined around several bales on the edge of the ledge.
  
  > unfurl the ladder
  You unroll the ladder which just reaches the ground.
  
  > drop all
  briefcase: Dropped.
  rubber glove: Dropped.
  garden fork: Dropped.
  kettle: Dropped.
  toy pistol: Dropped.
  
  > Go west
  Thin, twisting passages lead off in all directions through the haystack.
  
  > go west
  A fallen hay bale blocks your way. I'm afraid this is a dead end.
  
  > Go upward
  I'd get out of here if I was you.