text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  You just lost your girlfriend. Guess who she walks hand in hand with into the sunset: Spoonboy.
  You go to church, thinking the air of God would calm you down. Guess who one of the altar boys is: Spoonboy.
  You run out of the church and someone in a beat up sedan is honking at you. Who's driving it: Spoonboy's father. "How's it like to know my boy is a better gentleman than you with Tiffany, loser?"
  Spoonboy's little bro, Bryan, pulls up alongside his Dad and says, "Tiffany never liked you. She pities you, and dated you only so you don't break down and cry, retard."
  Crying you run home. Fighting back more tears, you feel another emotion: rage. You must fight Spoonboy if you don't want him F-ing up the rest of your high school days.
  
  [Author's Note: Jason Spoonboy has flirted with every girl you had interest in, made you look bad with his soccer skills, and always laughs in your face on your black days. His family's no better. His little bro harrasses people from his old minivan. His Dad cusses at the losing team that plays Jason's at soccer. Wise man saying, "Don't get bent...get even!"]
  
  > Fighting doesn't solve anything, just ignore Spoonboy
  You wouldn't be playing this game if you believed that. Go click on this link!
  
  > go get Spoonboy
  Good things shouldn't happen to bad people. You know in your heart that Spoonboy must be stopped, not just for yourself but for every other poor kid at school who has to deal with him. And for kids at other schools who have a Spoonboy of their own. And the schools of the world, with their own Spoonboys.
  
  > go to school for payback.
  OK, you know where Jason Spoonboy's locker is. You also know he has gym class for 1st period. He has a locker there but you don't know which. What's your decision?
  
  > Spoonboy's gym locker
  You wait until first period has started before you enter the locker room. A couple of student assistants are hanging about.
  
  > ask the student assistants for help
  A tall, beefy dude shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, I don't know where Jason's locker is but I know where Bryan's locker is."
  
  "Jason's Leprechaun bro's been a total ," another jock says. "He's a who deserves to get . I'll give you five bucks to muck up his locker."
  
  You take the money and they give you a bundle of condiments. In lots of crimson catsup you write on Bryan's locker, "You're deadmeat, dork!"
  
  Now done which door will you take?
  
  > Door to the gym
  Lucky for you, Mr. Freer's gym class is outside running track. You leave through the gymnasium.
  
  In the hallway you get intercepted by Mr. Spiel, the hall monitor. "Hey, where's your hall pass?" he calls toward you.
  
  You stand there, trying to think up an excuse when the bell rings. Saved by the bell you rush to your 2nd period class. Up ahead, you notice Bryan coming from the opposite direction. Where do you go?
  
  > scream like a maniac and rush past him
  Well you left a couple dozen students emotionally disturbed. You even made Bryan's hair stand on end. You do get to your 2nd period class safely
  
  > go to 2nd period class
  You crawl to your second period class, Spanish with Senor. Several of Spoonboy's lackeys are there and they're making doodles in their notebooks. You take a closer look to notice the infamous 'hangman' doodle [underneath it: your name].
  
  "To say Dolphin Boy in Spanish is El Nino del Delfin," Senor says to Joaquin, a student.
  
  You look to several students. The wiccan sitting next to you says, "I heard the darkness is almost upon you. The Goddess told me."
  
  You can't stand being in class with your worst enemy planning to kill you.
  
  > just sit through class and wait for the bell
  The bell rings and you leave for 3rd period, Government.
  
  Your teacher, Mr. Diamond, walks in wearing his 'Disco Inferno' jacket and sits to address the class.
  
  He looks at you and says, "I heard a nasty facist is out to get you. And you now know what a facist is."
  
  He then hands out a pop quiz. One, where everyone does poorly. You are in the group that gets a D+, which makes you feel gifted.
  
  > ask Mr. Diamond for help
  "How'd you know about Spoonboy wanting to get me?" you ask.
  
  Mr. Diamond said, "Those Spoonboys are always wanting to get people. It's been going on for millenniea, ever since the first Spoonboy walked this Earth."
  
  "I need your help stopping him!"
  
  "Well I could dress like a Redcoat and make like I'm fighting for Britain. Oh shucks, of course I'll help you."
  
  The bell rings and you leave for 3rd period, Government.
  
  Your teacher, Mr. Diamond, walks in wearing his 'Disco Inferno' jacket and sits to address the class.
  
  He looks at you and says, "I heard a nasty facist is out to get you. And you now know what a facist is."
  
  He then hands out a pop quiz. One, where everyone does poorly. You are in the group that gets a D+, which makes you feel gifted.
  
  > walk out of class
  You get through 3rd period without any prophesies of doom and Lunch Period eventually begins.
  
  You notice Bryan cowering in the shadows. He keeps mumbling about the blood message on his locker. To him, the hatred against him has taken a darker pitch.
  
  > If you decorated his gym locker with catsup, click here.
  "The Fairview Cult did it," Bryan cries to his big bro. "They're gonna swallow my Catholic soul."
  
  You walk up to them and laugh in their faces. Your laughter not only brings Bryan's spirits down lower, but Jason is affected as well. Knowing you did it, he now realizes who the real 'master' is. Spoonboy becomes a humbler man for he knows the name of "Who-spooned-him."