text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  Well, you suppose you can at least make the effort, Tina will just pitch a bitch at you, if you get plastered and you don't feel like hearing it. Nothing stopping you from taking little drinks in-between though.
  
  As the night goes on, the initial beer rush slows a bit since the patrons are more interested in the tits. However there are always those few that insist on drinking at the damn bar rather than drool up front like a normal person. These types always seem to want to talk to the bar tender too. How lucky for you that you have not one, but two of these people trying to talk to you.
  
  No getting away from it, they're demanding alcohol, and they're going to tell you their sorry life story anyway, might as well pick which one. You're already feeling a little buzzed from the beer too by now, so you're in that "professor mode" and feeling a little talkative yourself.
  
  There's the little nervous guy who looks like he wants to talk, but looks scared of you. He watches the strippers in absolute fascination, but keeps making himself look away and turning back to you.
  
  Then there's the big trucker looking type who's drinking a lot more and watching the strippers pretty intently too, you're surprised he isn't up closer, but he looks like he wants to ask you something.
  
  You finish drinking another beer and try to figure out which one is going to annoy you less.
  
  > talk to the trucker
  You move over to the trucker since you figure he'll talk less. As you get closer you notice something slightly odd about him. He's pretty clean shaven for a trucker type first of all. He sports a mullet similar to yours, but still there's something not right here.
  
  "Damn, what I wouldn't give to eat her pussy out." The trucker says. "She's turning me on."
  "That at fact? I'm surprised you ain't up there tipping her then."
  "Nah, just money getting thrown away. I'd rather spend it on this here Scotch, at least there's a pay off afterwards." He says taking a drink.
  "Ha ha ha! Now that's something I can identify with!" you say taking another drink as well.
  "Sides, I'm gonna just go up and talk to her after the show."
  "Heh. Good luck with that."
  
  Suddenly Tina comes out on stage to do her little act. The trucker seems to forget all about the last girl who was up on stage, as his eyes bug out of his head.
  
  "Holy shit...no THAT'S the one I want..."
  "You and everyone else, but you'll be lookin' and not touchin' that one. She's mine."
  "Yours? How the fuck did that happen?"
  "I gotta a big dick okay? What the hell difference does it make to you? You ain't gonna be puttin' yours anywhere near her."
  "I wouldn't anyway, seein' as I don't have one."
  
  It takes you awhile to get that one.
  "Hold on, what the fuck did you just say?"
  Well maybe more than awhile.
  
  "I said I don't have a dick to put near her! I'm a woman! Couldn't you tell?"
  "Not really."
  "Well, I am, an' I got a proposal for you. How about you talk your girlfriend into a threeway? We wouldn't be fucking of course, but we could double team your girlfriend at the same time."
  "WHAT?! Ugh! Fuck no!"
  "Why? I thought you guys liked it when two girls got it on."
  "Yeah maybe if you were fuckin' as hot as Tina! But you fuckin' look like me! If I wanna see myself fuckin' Tina I'll invest in a mirror! Second of all Tina's not into that shit!"
  "Nonsense, all girls got that tendency in them and I'd like to unleash Tina's tendencies."
  "Okay that's it. Ain't fuckin' happening. So just get that out of your mind right now and take your butch ass outta here."
  "You gonna make me bitch? What's the matter, you afraid she might like it?"
  
  Before you can retort, Tina has finished her act and comes up to you.
  
  "So did you see my act, or were you too busy drinking?"
  "Hey I saw your act baby, an' you made my fuckin' pussy wet! How about you lick it dry?"
  "EXCUSE ME?" Tina says."
  "Wrong thing to say Butchie!" you say and punch the trucker in the face. You then jump over the bar and proceed to beat her even more, she puts up a good fight though and even gets in a couple of good blows, particularly to your nut sack, but that alone isn't enough to take you out. All your years living with Tina, has resulted in many a crotch kick, you're used to it.
  Ultimately after kicking her ass you throw her outside where she runs off to get back in her big diesel truck and drives off.
  
  "Goddamn." You say catching your breath.
  "Wow, you nearly got your ass kicked by a girl." Tina says.
  "Shut up."
  "Well it's nice to see you're willing to beat up any gender that comes on to me now."
  "She wanted some weird three-way."
  "Hmm, and I'll just bet if the woman looked more like me, you probably would've tried to talk me into it."
  "Nah, I know you're not into that, or done anything like that."
  "Huh, the hell I haven't. Before I met you I experimented a few times with a couple of my friends. I didn't like it though, that's why I stuck with guys."
  "What?! You never told me that! Um...tell me more."
  "See and that's WHY I never told you that before! You get excited enough as it is around me, I tell you this shit and you'll have a perpetual hard on."
  
  That night when you get home you pester Tina so much to elaborate on her "experimentation" that she finally has enough of your shit and makes you sleep on the couch. You end up having some interesting dreams at least.