text: [Themes: Espionage, Humor, surreal]
  
  > Go downward
  You show your pass to the guard and go through.
  Platform
  The tracks, leading off into the dark tunnel, lie beyond the northern edge of the platform. Trains arrive quite frequently, once every three minutes on average, a fact not unnoticed by the section of the Hydropolis Underground Omnibus Company responsible for advertising. You can go up to ground level via the access funnel to Opah University.
  
  > Go south
  You try to push your way through to the doors, but can't quite make it in time.
  "Mind the gap," shouts the guard. A pike stops the doors closing to allow his aggressive mates on then the train rushes off into the tunnel.
  
  > Go south
  You smash your nose against the door.
  The train speeds through the tunnel then clatters into Eelpout. The doors slide open and the commuters swim in and out.
  
  > go south
  The tracks, leading off into the dark tunnel, lie beyond the northern edge of the platform. Trains arrive quite frequently, once every three minutes on average, a fact not unnoticed by the section of the Hydropolis Underground Omnibus Company responsible for advertising. You can go up to ground level via the access funnel to Eelpout.
  An underground train is here but looks likely to leave at any moment. The last few fish, pilchards by the look of them, squeeze onto the train. "Mind the doors," shouts the guard as they close. The train clatters off into the tunnel.
  
  > Up
  You show your pass to the guard and go through.
  Eelpout Underground Station
  In the ticket hall, commuters are busily swimming up and down the access funnel which leads to the platform. The ticket counter stands in the centre with a clerk behind it. Northwest an exit leads out onto Shark Street.
  
  > go northwest
  The traffic on Shark Street is really busy but eventually you notice a small gap and swim hastily across.
  Shark Street
  This is the seedier part of town with shops to match, so watch who you're dealing with. South is a music shop, north is a second hand shop, across the road to the east is the hardware shop and southeast is the nearest underground station, Eelpout. Dace Road, a much safer place to be, is to the west.
  
  > Go north
  You dart across Dace Road while nobody's looking.
  Second Hand Shop
  This shop is run by a cool catfish of many talents, most of them illegal, who goes by the name of Steve. Steve is a fish who could sell stripes to tiger sharks, but would rather sell them his grandmother - if he hasn't already. The shop has a bad reputation. It normally sells "fins what have fallen off the back of a submarine" if you get my drift. The exit from this den of low morals and high prices is to the south. Steve catches your eye, and with a knowing wink suggests that you might like to buy a "somewhat fruity" film that came in yesterday. You recognise the fishton.
  There is a radio case here.
  
  > Go south
  You dart across Dace Road while nobody's looking.
  Shark Street
  This is the seedier part of town with shops to match, so watch who you're dealing with. South is a music shop, north is a second hand shop, across the road to the east is the hardware shop and southeast is the nearest underground station, Eelpout. Dace Road, a much safer place to be, is to the west.
  
  > Go south
  The music shop is cluttered with amateur musicians, most of whom are playing versions of the ancient heavy metal hit "Smoke Underwater", very badly, on expensive instruments that they have no intention of buying. An assistant is attempting to hide behind the counter. The hasty exit from this noisy place is north. The assistant is fondling some ear plugs.
  
  > buy the ear plugs with the fis
  
  > buy the ear plugs with the fisa
  "That will be 5 clams exactly sir." You type in your Fish Identity Number to authorise the debit. The assistant waits for authorisation then returns your card, together with the ear-plugs.
  
  > Go north
  This is the seedier part of town with shops to match, so watch who you're dealing with. South is a music shop, north is a second hand shop, across the road to the east is the hardware shop and southeast is the nearest underground station, Eelpout. Dace Road, a much safer place to be, is to the west.
  
  > go to the east
  The traffic on Shark Street is really busy but eventually you notice a small gap and swim hastily across.
  Hardware Shop
  This hardware shop contains everything for the fish with DIY leanings. If your DIY is leaning, this is were you can get the tools to mend it. If you require anything the assistant will only be too pleased to take your credit, if not your credit card. He may even give it back. You can leave the shop by swimming west. The assistant offers to sell you a black plastic bag.
  A screwdriver is for sale.
  
  > go west
  The traffic on Shark Street is really busy but eventually you notice a small gap and swim hastily across.
  Shark Street
  This is the seedier part of town with shops to match, so watch who you're dealing with. South is a music shop, north is a second hand shop, across the road to the east is the hardware shop and southeast is the nearest underground station, Eelpout. Dace Road, a much safer place to be, is to the west.
  A group of students swim by with what looks like the principal.
  
  > Go west
  You are swimming along the south side of Dace Road. The police station is to the south, west across Plaice Street is a pub, and east lies Shark Street.
  
  > Go west
  My, Plaice Street is busy! In the end you succeed in crossing.
  Pub
  The Hook, Line and Sinker is a good old-fashioned boozer, with a clean bar and filthy customers. One of them, a sorry drunk leaning unsteadily against the bar, seems familiar to your host. Steve, the cool catfish from the second hand shop, is serving behind the bar. Or is it his twin brother? He sells masks, filled with gas from behind the bar, for the customers to sniff. Hence, the masks are known to the locals as "snifters" and the state of drunkeness as being "sniffed to the gills" or "completely finless". Exits lead north and east. An interesting looking cylinder is behind the bar.
  There is a stool here.
  As you arrive Ernest Chub greets you cheerfully.
  
  > Go north
  You dart across Dace Road while nobody's looking.
  Plaza
  Noisy, dirty, fishy and grimy. Well, what did you expect a downtown Hydropolis shopping precinct to be like? You expected shops? OK, I'll give you some shops. To the north is a clothing shop, to the south is a pub and to the west is a cinema. Is that enough? No? Well, you'll have to go across Dace Road to the southeast if you want some more or northwest to Pickerel Underground Station if you want to go somewhere else.
  
  > go north
  Behind a counter stands an assistant, ready to sell you anything in the shop. Many racks are filled with exciting jackets, a fashionable accessory in Hydropolis at the moment. You can leave the shop by going south. A trendy pair of sun glasses are on sale.
  A tie is for sale.
  
  > buy the glasses with the fisa
  "That will be 5 clams exactly sir." You type in your Fish Identity Number to authorise the debit. The assistant waits for authorisation then returns your card, together with the dark glasses.
  
  > go south
  Noisy, dirty, fishy and grimy. Well, what did you expect a downtown Hydropolis shopping precinct to be like? You expected shops? OK, I'll give you some shops. To the north is a clothing shop, to the south is a pub and to the west is a cinema. Is that enough? No? Well, you'll have to go across Dace Road to the southeast if you want some more or northwest to Pickerel Underground Station if you want to go somewhere else.
  
  > Go southeast
  As you step on the road, the cars all accelerate towards you, their drivers leaning over the steering wheels with fangs bared. You just avoid them by swimming as quick as you can to the safety of Dace Road. Dace Road
  You are swimming along the south side of Dace Road. The police station is to the south, west across Plaice Street is a pub, and east lies Shark Street.
  
  > Go south
  The police station is fished day and night by a stalwart dogfish who is ready to solve the troutiest of crimes, especially the really simple ones where the villains just confess. You can escape without much danger of pursuit to the north.
  
  > Go north
  You are swimming along the south side of Dace Road. The police station is to the south, west across Plaice Street is a pub, and east lies Shark Street.
  
  > Go west
  My, Plaice Street is busy! In the end you succeed in crossing.
  Pub
  The Hook, Line and Sinker is a good old-fashioned boozer, with a clean bar and filthy customers. One of them, a sorry drunk leaning unsteadily against the bar, seems familiar to your host. Steve, the cool catfish from the second hand shop, is serving behind the bar. Or is it his twin brother? He sells masks, filled with gas from behind the bar, for the customers to sniff. Hence, the masks are known to the locals as "snifters" and the state of drunkeness as being "sniffed to the gills" or "completely finless". Exits lead north and east. An interesting looking cylinder is behind the bar.
  There is a stool here.
  As you arrive Ernest Chub greets you cheerfully.
  
  > Go south
  The tracks, leading off into the dark tunnel, lie beyond the northern edge of the platform. Trains arrive quite frequently, once every three minutes on average, a fact not unnoticed by the section of the Hydropolis Underground Omnibus Company responsible for advertising. You can go up to ground level via the access funnel to Battersea.
  
  > Go upwards
  You show your pass to the guard and go through.
  Battersea
  Battersea is a place of dreams. The station was built many years ago to encourage visits by tourists. Regular tours around the complex leave from the north. An access funnel, leading down is fished by a guard who is checking tickets, or would be if there were any to check but the ticket clerk hasn't sold any.
  
  > go to the north
  You squeeze your way, sardine like, onto the train with the other commuters.
  Tube
  Always busy, the tube trains are packed solid with guppies. Rules have been passed strictly governing the number of fish allowed in each carriage but these are often disregarded, especially by sardines and pilchards.
  
  > Time
  The time is 14:15
  "All aboard," shouts the guard. Some dolphins rush in where angelfish fear to tread. The doors close and the train accelerates out of the station.
  
  > look at the wand
  
  > wait a while
  Time passes.
  The train speeds through the tunnel then clatters into Eelpout. The doors slide open and the commuters swim in and out.
  
  > go south
  The tracks, leading off into the dark tunnel, lie beyond the northern edge of the platform. Trains arrive quite frequently, once every three minutes on average, a fact not unnoticed by the section of the Hydropolis Underground Omnibus Company responsible for advertising. You can go up to ground level via the access funnel to Museum.
  An underground train is here but looks likely to leave at any moment. The last few fish, pilchards by the look of them, squeeze onto the train. "Mind the doors," shouts the guard as they close. The train clatters off into the tunnel.
  
  > Up
  You show your pass to the guard and go through.
  Museum Station
  This station is the oldest in Hydropolis. The decoration reflects more decadent times, when men were men, fish were fish and they got together to build underground stations. An exit leads north to the museum while a funnel leads down to the platform.
  
  > Go north
  Visited by many fish over the course of a year, the museum is a great attraction. Maybe this is due to its unique collection of piscean relics, the greatest of which is the skeleton of the 'Bloodyenormasaurus' which has pride of place in the centre of this room. You can explore the museum in your own time by going north, east or west. You can return to the station by swimming south.
  
  > look at the skeleton
  The bloodyenormasaurus roamed the seas of Hydropolis until fish became civilised. Then they killed every single Bloodyenormasaurus they could lay their grubby little fins on, simply because they made such great museum exhibits.
  
  > Go east
  You swim through an exhibition of the use of gravel in modern science. The ingenious fish scientists have managed to produce materials so cunning that, even though they aren't really gravel, they behave in almost exactly the same way. Not entirely impressed, you swim back west.
  Museum
  Visited by many fish over the course of a year, the museum is a great attraction. Maybe this is due to its unique collection of piscean relics, the greatest of which is the skeleton of the 'Bloodyenormasaurus' which has pride of place in the centre of this room. You can explore the museum in your own time by going north, east or west. You can return to the station by swimming south.
  
  > look at Room
  White rooms always have a bad effect on you. If the authorities had had their way, your laboratory would have been white. But you were firm. You put your tail down and refused. This room is white, and you don't like it. It leads north to the museum's finest exhibit and south back to the museum.
  
  > go east
  You swim through an exhibition of the use of gravel in modern science. The ingenious fish scientists have managed to produce materials so cunning that, even though they aren't really gravel, they behave in almost exactly the same way. Not entirely impressed, you swim back west.
  Alarm Room
  White rooms always have a bad effect on you. If the authorities had had their way, your laboratory would have been white. But you were firm. You put your tail down and refused. This room is white, and you don't like it. It leads north to the museum's finest exhibit and south back to the museum.
  
  > Go north
  Bells, hooters and whistles sing out from all over the museum bringing guards rushing to the crystal room. You try to explain that it was an accident; that you just stumbled. Amazingly, the guards believe your story though they do look a bit suspicious as they deposit you back at the station and go back to their various posts.
  Museum Station
  This station is the oldest in Hydropolis. The decoration reflects more decadent times, when men were men, fish were fish and they got together to build underground stations. An exit leads north to the museum while a funnel leads down to the platform.
  
  > look in the skeleton
  The bloodyenormasaurus roamed the seas of Hydropolis until fish became civilised. Then they killed every single Bloodyenormasaurus they could lay their grubby little fins on, simply because they made such great museum exhibits.