text: [Themes: fan fiction, female protagonist, villain protagonist]
  
  Azula sits at the desk as the teacher tries to teach the class. The girl tilts her head. On second thought, that woman teaches the class but not the princess. She learned these things on her own by staring at Father's maps. Who wouldn't? Tragically, this is also the only class that is remotely interesting.
  
  Other firebending children go to military school or, at worst, a normal school. Alas, Azula has the double-edged sword called royalty. A fire nation princess must know the dullest of things. How does one brew tea? How to sit perfectly still while the men talk? Raising childing? To any other girl, this may be interesting, but Azula knows her destiny is far grander than being a Fire Lady or a princess of the court. She WILL be Fire Lord. Fire Lords don't need to know the steps of brewing tea. That's for her uncle and cousin.
  
  While keeping her eyes on the teacher, she studies her interesting classmates, the only ones worth noting, from her peripheral vision. Mai acts like the perfect lady. Her parents expect nothing less. At least it gives me control over her. What noble family would want their daughter to not associate with the only princess of the Fire Nation? What bored daughter of a noble family wouldn't want to have exciting times with a firebending prodigy? And be closer to Zuzu. Ew. What does she see in him?
  
  On the other hand, Ty Lee bounces her leg up and down even as she sits. She looks almost as bored as Azula right now. Is she even capable of being still? She wouldn't make a good infiltrator, but she could be our distraction. That Chi blocking will be handy as well. Still, does she feel out of place? Like me? Every girl here is a noble, but I am the princess while Ty Lee is technically a commoner. A commoner from a rich family, but a peasant nonetheless. When I become Fire Lord, I will elevate her family to nobility.
  
  Azula nods. Is it unnecessarily nice? I believe so, but I will guarantee the loyalty of a family of Chi blockers. Why hasn't any Fire Lord possessed the intelligence to do that yet? Oh well, their loss will become my gain.
  
  She waits diligently until class is over. Patience is a virtue of earthbenders, but even those savages can occasionally have a correct idea. They leave for lunch, which is another class. Here they learn to eat properly which is something Azula knows how to do. Mother made sure of that.
  
  Azula and her two followers sit away from the other girls and eat their meals. Their etiquette instructor occasionally walks by, but they are otherwise left alone. Ty Lee rambles about a cute boy she saw on the street. On the street? Ew. Also, cute boy? Ew.
  
  Her ears perk up. Always listening, she hears a very important word. Ozai. And, it's just Ozai, not the proper Prince Ozai. She focuses on that voice, and its conversation. It looks like two girls to their left. Aren't those the daughters of Uncle's... something. Is it Captains or Majors? Either way, their fathers are out on that overly long campaign. I would have won by now.
  
  "And why isn't he in the battlefields? I thought he was a powerful bender, like General Iroh?" It's Crown Prince Iroh to you, stupid noble girl.
  
  "Mom said they need a royal in court in case the general and Prince Lu Ten die in combat." You dare insult Father?
  
  "That doesn't seem honorable for Ozai." You no good-
  "It isn't."
  
  "Azula?" Ty Lee sounds worried. "Your hands are on fire a little bit."
  
  I should have more control than that. Azula ends her blue flames. "Mai, Ty Lee."
  
  "Yeah?"
  
  Mai simply nods.
  
  "We have a mission to defend our nation's honor." She pauses for a moment before smirking. "I know exactly what we're going to do."
  
  > humiliate Them
  Three hours later, Azula watches those two girls rush into a washroom. Ty Lee accidentally spilled some of her paint on their dresses. How unfortunate. Then, a candle happened to be knocked over. Who could possibly have such precision? Since none of the teachers can bend, a great deal of screaming and panic erupted in the room. It provided ample time for Azula to slip away from watching eyes. She down the halls to the washroom door. If the girls were intelligent, then they may have heard the ruckus, but they wouldn't be at the receiving end of Azula's wrath if they were intelligent.
  
  And this is why I train in combat beyond firebending.
  
  She opens the door as the girls grumble, cleaning the pigment from their dresses. Oblivious, as expected. Firebending would be preferable, but blue fire would be a giveaway. Instead, she uses her foot. And Mother complains how I always wear pants. With the utmost precision and flexibility, thanks to lessons from Mai and Ty Lee, she kicked the back of one girl's head. As she crumples, she kicks the other one as well. You can't do that in a skirt, Mother. You also wanted me to wear dainty shoes, not these wonderful boots Father gave me.
  
  Both girls seem semi-conscious. Azula takes out her brooch. And people wonder why I chose to have a sharp Royal Brooch.
  
  One at a time, she gathers the girl's hair in her hand, lift it up, and fells the hair in a decisive swipe. Ha! You will never recover from losing your hair! It may grow back, but your honor shall be gone! No noble lady would have hair like a boy! Now, wallow in your upcoming misery and shame!
  
  Azula sneaks back to the class just as the flames are put out. No one noticed her absence. Victory tastes sweet. No one may insult Father.
  
  As planned, word spread quickly due to some strategically placed rumors. No one may insult Prince Ozai of the Fire Nation.
  
  > 8
  Four princes and princesses eat in a strangling silence. Each eyes their companions with mistrust. The tension seems to be destroying everyone's appetites, even Fathers.
  
  Azula takes another bite of her meal, though it's not nearly spicy enough for her tastes. Why let good food go to waste? Why not enjoy the moment? This must be like the battlefields. She imagines herself standing at the walls of Ba Sing Se at the break of dawn. Her troops and the enemy's glare at the other, waiting for one to make the strike to start the battle for the Earth Kingdom's mighty, walled capital.
  
  Instead of those dirty barbarians and patriots dressed in the finest armor, there's Mother and her son facing Father and herself. They even sit at opposite sides of the table. I know we're supposed to do things for the image, but this does seem slightly... ridiculous? We haven't shared a meal as a family for months. Always an excuse by somebody not to eat together. Too bad we don't throw flames at each other. Agni Kais are made for these situations. Have your duel of honor and let the winner be right. Then, suck up your pride and accept the consequences.
  
  Poor Zuzu tries to melt into his chair. He'd make the worst of Fire Lords, especially during wartime. If he can't handle family drama, how could he handle the lives of our people? Stupid Mother. You twisted and pampered him until I'm manlier than him. And I'm not manly, at all. I'm a ferocious princess.
  
  She realizes everyone's eyes are on her. I was smiling, wasn't I? Okay, time to make that seem intentional.
  
  "I was reading about different types of warfare today." She keeps her voice conversational, casual. It seems more out of place for this diner than a waterbender inside a volcano. Huh, would a waterbender die faster than a firebender? What about earthbenders since the volcano is part earth?
  
  "Azula." Is it possible for Mother to say her name without sounding so critical? "What kind of classes are you taking at the Girl's Academy? When I was there, they'd never teach su-"
  
  "They don't." The timing of her interruption was perfect, as intended. This way, Zuzu could still follow the conversation. "I taught myself." She puffs out her chest.
  
  "Good job." Father's voice is cold, but the tone, unlike the words, were intended for Mother. His glare seems too cold for such a powerful firebender.
  
  Zuzu slinks further into his chair.
  
  "I was trying to apply what I learned to Uncle's campaign in Ba Sing Se. The barbarians seem to be using a hybrid between conventional and attritional warfare." Attritional is a big word. Zuzu wouldn't know that one, would he? "While it's purely defensive, they rely on their tested methods of combat. Mostly reigning down stones and dirt on our soldier's heads from those walls." One day, she'll see for herself if the walls are higher than some mountains as the legends and soldier's tales say. "That would make it conventional warfare, but their goals lines up with a war of attrition. They aren't going for a decisive victory. They want to wear down Uncle and his soldiers until they give up."
  
  "Uncle wouldn't give up." Zuzu finally speaks.
  
  Azula shrugs. "He would if he ran out of tea. Speaking about our glorious Crown-Prince..." Was that too much sarcasm? "Uncle seems to be using conventional war for an attritional objective while also utilizing blockade warfare."
  
  "Correct." Father nods in approval. Mother sits still, like a prim and proper noble. Ug.
  
  "It's stupid."
  
  Her bold statement caused everyone to look at her. Father raised his eyebrows. Mother glared daggers at her. Zuzu acted as if she just insulted his hero. Well, I did just insult his hero.
  
  Now, it's time to defend my statement. "The city has the farmlands between the outer and inner walls. It should be self-sustaining until the outer walls are breached. It's more as if Uncle is blockading the world from Ba Sing Se, not Ba Sing Se from the world." She straightens her posture. "But, we already know this. That means the enemy is not desperate yet, thus conventional warfare. Eventually, Uncle and his forces will breach the outer wall. The enemy will then become desperate and gain two advantages, only one I believe Uncle anticipates."
  
  Father appears amused. Mother seems angry at her daughter for insulting Uncle and for speaking about things a girl her age couldn't possibly understand. Yet, I understand anyway. Zuzu looks like he's paying attention to her, though he's unhappy with her critiques.
  
  "They'll be fighting inside the walls. Home advantage, more so than what Uncle has been experiences. Also, the population won't be happy with our presence. Uncle doesn't have the will to use violent population control. The only way to not get crushed by a falling boulder is to either dodge or smash. We can't retreat, so he can't dodge. He doesn't have to will to smash the people."
  
  In other words, Uncle is too nice to be a competent Fire Lord.
  
  "Then, we have the problem Uncle won't expect. The Earth Kingdom is known for doing the same thing, patience and consistency. All that stuff. He'll expect them to use conventional war." She shakes her head. "Mother, if Water Tribe barbarians raided the palace and would possibly kill Zuzu, would you use honorable warfare or do anything possible to protect him?"
  
  Mother's eyes opened a little. She expected me to not involve her in my analysis. "A mother would do anything to protect her son."
  
  Azula forces herself not to wince. A mother would do anything to protect her CHILDREN. "The barbarians will do the same. Urban guerilla warfare. It's be nasty, too nasty for Uncle or any of our commanders." She shakes her head. "Maybe Zhao. Definitely me or Father. When we need to push just month longer to conquer the city, Uncle will leave. After all, Lu Ten fights on the front lines."
  
  Mother stands up and leaves without a word. Zuzu looks between mommy dearest and the rest of his family. Then, he follows her out of the room.
  
  "Interesting assessment, Azula." Father takes a bite of his food. "Might I suggest another scroll to read?"
  
  "Of course."
  
  "It is one of my favorites. In my personal library, read the scroll named Lighting, Infiltration Tactics. You made find the ideology appealing as someone who looks beyond conventional warfare."
  
  > 9
  Mother coddles Zuzu after his embarrassment. Should've brought your swords, brother. Father never would take us to the Fire Lord in his throne room without showing us off. Well, showing me off. You just fell on your butt.
  
  "Ursa, Zuko and Azula, you are dismissed." The old man's voice still carries some power. He used to be the greatest firebender in the nation before old age took its hold. Azula does her proper bow and leaves Father behind. Too bad I'm not a few years older, then I could challenge you to an Agni Kai, maybe even kill you. I always thought you were stronger than this, but you're just an old, frail man. A man who never bothering seeing me, ever. The wall of flames surrounding his throne aren't a display of power when one never has the courage to step outside of them.
  
  Zuzu falls behind Mother, still sulking after his embarrassment. Mother wouldn't be able to hear anything she whispers to him. Changing her plans around slightly, she adds another member to her infiltration party.
  
  Azula takes his hand. "Zuzu, follow me," she whispers. She drags him around a corner to a curtain. From what she saw during her time in the throne room, her first time ever, she decided that this would be the best spot for hearing what was meant to be a private conversation. Information is power.
  
  Zuzu protests a little, but he quiets down when they poke their heads between the rich, lavender draperies. Father planned something, something huge. Lu Ten died as I predicted and Iroh gave up after breaching the outer wall and experiencing urban guerilla warfare as I predicted. Now, their Crown Prince is technically a deserter and without an heir. How come I'm the only one who seems to know exactly what's going on? Besides Father of course.
  
  "You would not put on that performance without purpose. Ozai, what do you want?" Well, he's to the point at least.
  
  In his most official sounding tone, Father says, "Lu Ten has fallen nobly in battle, and my brother has no more heirs nor a wife to sire more. With my brother's retreat and desertion following the death of my nephew, no one knows if or when he shall return. However, I am here, Father, and my children are alive. Let your humble servant ensure your bloodline will continue on the throne." He bows before the old man.
  
  In one day, will Father pass both Lu Ten and Uncle for his place on the throne?
  
  "Fool!" Father miscalculated. The flames around the throne rise to the ceiling from the old man's fury. She holds Zuzu's hand. If not, he'd flee in fear.
  "You dare wish to punish Iroh further? He lost his son! My son has suffered enough, but your suffering has just begun for your arrogance."
  
  Zuzu breaks free of her grasp and flees. If it wasn't for the fiery inferno blazing around the Fire Lord, they would've heard him. Next time, only allow Mai and Ty Lee for infiltration operations. They'd keep their heads on straight.
  
  "Father, I only wish what is best for the Fire Nation."
  
  "No, you wish only for power and do not understand the feeling of loss. Only you have not experienced the battlefield. Only you still have your family in the land of the living. In your arrogance and pride, you could not see the pains of others. Now, you will know the heartache of sacrifice. Iroh lost his son. You will lose yours, by your own hand."
  
  If you knew anything about your son, Fire Lord, you'd know he has no love for the boy. Still, I did not expect you to ask something so impossible for any Fire Nation prince to accept.
  
  "I accept your punishment." What! "It will be done tonight."
  "Go."
  
  Father leaves. Azula stands motionless, trying to process a scenario that she never imagined.
  
  Zuzu is going to die? Of course, he'd make a horrible general and a worse Lire Lord, but...
  
  > defy Father and Save Zuzu
  She slinks into the shadows. No one can know that SHE knows. Information is power and in this... battle... I have only two weapons. Information and manipulation.
  
  She sits against the walls and buries her head between her legs. Father has the physical and legal power. He has the backing of the Fire Lord, so doing anything to stop this would be treason. I'm not old enough to challenge him or the old man to an Agni Kai, nor would I survive such a suicidal tactic.
  
  She clenches her fists. Who's the enemy? The main combatant on the enemy side is Father. Sorry, Father for my temporary misalignment of goals. The leader is the Fire Lord, thus the entire Fire Nation would be on the opposing side. That includes all the palace guards. Anyone who aligns to me would do so out of personal selfishness or loyalty. It's me versus everyone else.
  
  She suppresses the urge to scream in rage. I cannot switch sides. I made a promise. "I'll always be on your side when we're in battle," she whispers to herself as if to reaffirm her commitment. Mai and Ty Lee would follow, but Mai's family is on some boring vacation. Ty Lee went to watch some circus in a miserable port town with her family. Fate has aligned with the Fire Lord. Who do I have?
  
  I have Zuzu, but he's the problem, not an ally. Too bad he never bothered making friends with anyone. Uncle and Lu Ten would take his side, but they're too busy abandoning their nation or being dead. That means there's no one else... Mother. No, I am not involving her. I'll save Zuzu myself. All I have is information and manipulation.
  
  She sneaks away to the one place Zuzu would go at a time like this. Azula would flee for the docks to secure passage to the barbarian lands or hide among her friends. Zuzu would... be Zuzu.
  
  The princess enters his bedroom as he sits in bed, covers up to his chin. Beds are flammable, dum-dum.
  
  He looks scared. He should be due to his imminent and approaching death, but her brother doesn't know that yet. He's just being a scared little boy.
  
  I might as well be direct. She sits on the side of his bed and stares at him. "Father's going to kill you."
  
  "What?" He backs away from her. Oh, right. I'm Father's beloved child just as he's Mother's. I ALWAYS lie. Ug.
  
  "He'll sacrifice you. The Fire Lord wants him to experience the supposed pain of losing his son."
  
  He shakes his head. "Dad would never do that." Denial? At a time like this?
  
  "Father doesn't love you. He doesn't like you. Maybe some Earth peasants would." Zuzu's really good at being a lovable idiot. Maybe some peasants would take pity on some lost Fire Nation noble. Then again, Zuzu would somehow tell them he's a prince and get killed.
  
  "Run away?"
  
  She shrugs. "Mopping the decks often gets free passage on merchant ships."
  
  His eyes move to the doorway. She sees the recognition on his face. I thought Father said he'd do it tonight. Salvage the situation, Azula. Maybe I could act like I was trying to kill him?
  
  "Azula." Fate must be on Father's side. "What are you doing here?"
  
  I'm saving your son, Mother. "Talking."
  
  "Come with me." The tone and the tight grip on her arm don't allow for protests.
  
  As she drags Azula out of the room, she hears Zuzu muttering, "Azula always lies."
  
  That HURT. She doesn't struggle at all as she's practically dragged through the halls. I'm the only person in the bloody world that's trying to save Zuzu, but you've entrenched your ideas so far into his head that he refuses to believe me. You aren't good for him, Mother. You aren't good for anybody. Father's going to kill him, but you're the one who made him weak enough to kill. I wish you were gone. I wish you were dead.
  
  Her eyes light up. Dead. Gone. She sees a new opportunity. It'd kill two birds... four birds with one stone. Father would be so proud if she could ever tell him. Too bad she can't and won't.
  
  They stop in Mother's chambers. She stopped sleeping with father two years ago. Also, ew.
  
  "What were you doing, Azula?" And she thinks I'm the baddy here.
  
  "You once said you'd do anything if barbarians wanted to kill Zuzu."
  
  Her eyes narrow. For once, Mother looks dangerous. Maybe I inherited a few things from her, besides beauty, after all. "Tell me the truth." Her grip on the girl's shoulder becomes painful. Maybe, it'll leave a bruise.
  "Father's going to kill Zuzu tonight because the Fire Lord asked him to."
  
  She doesn't believe me. "Tell me one reason why I should believe you."
  
  "Four. Zuzu won't die. The Fire Lord will die. Father will get the throne, and you will be gone forever."
  
  Her shoulders slouch. I don't always lie. I'm occasionally nice. More importantly, sometimes the truth hurts more than the lie.
  
  "You have a plan, don't you?"
  
  "Yeah." Azula smirks.
  
  Later that night, the palace erupts into chaos. Azula stands watch in the shadows outside Zuzu's door. He sleeps, blissfully unaware of the subterfuge and murder that just occurred. No matter what happens, she will not let anyone into his room tonight. Well, except that one. A figure gracefully approaches his bedroom. Unaware of the hidden prodigy, Mother rushes into his room. She shakes him gently.
  
  "Wha? Mother?" He rubs his eyes. None of the guards are aware of the woman in his room. Father happened to ensure no one was around his son's bedroom tonight. Too late, Father. We spilt blood before you could.
  
  "Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you." She wraps his in a tight embrace. She loves you, brother. Now, she'll never see you again. "Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are."
  
  Before he could say anything in reply, she leaves. To where, Azula doesn't know. All she knows is Mother will never return. She'll always live with blood on her hands instead of her son.
  
  Azula smiles, a real one.
  
  I saved you, Zuzu.
  
  > 10
  Azula stares at the smoldering corpse. Her offspring fuss around her body, fearful at their mother's sudden lack of response. The girl knows Mother would've yelled at her, called her a monster. Mother isn't here anymore. Ty Lee and Mai don't criticize her. Father would praise her for having the guts to take a life. He killed every man who faced him in an Agni Kai, all twelve of them. Zuzu... What would her brother do?
  
  As if Agni wanted to answer her question, Zuzu suddenly sat beside her. Azula squints, since Zuzu's head lines up with the setting red sun, Agni's presence in their world. She notices her heartrate increases. Why? The realization dawns on her. Mother saw me as a monster after I killed that baby turtle-duck. Now, Zuzu sees this.
  
  "Why'd you do it, Azula?" He sounds calm for the situation, far too calm than what she'd expect.
  
  She shifts on the cold earth beneath her. "I wanted to see if they'll make it." She points to the seven turtle-ducklings.
  
  "You know they're too young to live without their mother." There's pain in his voice. She always hears it whenever he speaks about Mother.
  
  "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
  
  She rubs her shoulder. Father had increased Azula's training to more intense levels ever since his ascension to the throne. School drags by during the day. Firebending training comes at evening. She falls asleep every night reading scrolls about strategy and the human mind. Every morning, she practices her aim and agility. It hasn't killed me yet, and there were so many chances during the firebending. I'm not dead, just stronger.
  
  Zuzu picks up the dead turtle-duck mother from the pond and places it at Azula feet. "What are you doing?" she hisses.
  
  "We're Fire Nation. We don't let corpses rot or throw them to sea like the Water Tribe or burry them like the Earth Kingdom. This animal was Fire Nation."
  
  She tilts her head. You always had a fondness for animals. Maybe you would've fit better as the son of a farmer. Once again, Azula burns the animal, but this time she doesn't stop until even the bones turned to ash.
  
  His shoulders slouch. "I miss her too."
  
  "I don't. There's a reason why no one talks about her. A good Fire Lord would never let personal loss cloud her judgment."
  
  She clenches her fists. The remaining turtle-ducklings won't stop fussing. They continuously call out their high-pitched squeaks for a mother that will never come back to them. Their mother abandoned them. She wasn't strong enough to stay. She never loved most of them anyway. She gave all her love to just one child. She...
  
  Azula shakes her head. I DON'T MISS, MOTHER!
  
  Her palms open to make blue flame. It's time to end the noise.
  
  He places his hand on her shoulder. "Azula, let me take care of them."
  
  She douses her flames. "Fine."
  
  "I have one question."
  
  "Fire away."
  
  "Do you feel bad for killing?"
  
  "Not at all." She crosses her arms. "I'm a monster after all."
  
  "Remember this, Azula. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." His words echo Mother's final words to her beloved son.
  "I haven't forgotten who I am."
  
  "You're my sister."
  
  He stands up and walks away.
  
  Azula never did tell him, but she kept track of Zuzu and his attempt at saving seven hopeless, motherless lives. All year, she checked... hoped... to find them dead. They never died. In one year's time, they all grew up. It was just in time for Zuzu to leave them too. Like Mother, it wasn't by choice.
  
  > 11
  Azula smiles in utter glee as Zuzu screams in agony. In front of nearly two-hundred generals and nobles, Father burns off part of his son's face.
  
  Zuzu is going to live!
  
  He didn't see any of this coming either. Unlike last time, there wasn't anything Azula could do. Uncle, who finally returned from his desertion almost a year ago, let her buffoon of an older brother into a war meeting. I been attending them for over a year, but I've always been smart enough to not speak a word. Her brother, on the other hand, almost immediately protested a general's strategy. To make it worse, he protested due to morality and not strategy.
  
  Of course, the strategy was idiotic. Send a battalion of new recruits as a distraction to get killed? We already fully integrated women into our military because of a shortage of manpower. A war that lasts over a hundred years tends to whittle down a population, even to the winning side. Throwing away new blood instead of keeping them alive long enough to be veterans... Old men like to use old strategies.
  
  Due to her brother's blatant lack of disrespect, he was challenged to an Agni Kai which he accepted without hesitation. With your newfound testosterone, you turn thirteen, so you accept the first honor duel that you're able to legally accept. You thought you'd fight against an old man.
  
  He screams again.
  
  That war meeting, like all war meetings, took place in Father's throne room. He would be the one to duel you.
  
  "Prince Zuko." Father's voice seemed to calm and collected compared to the convulsion and shrieks of her brother. "You are banished from the Fire Nation from this day forward. Leave tomorrow or be executed. If you wish to return, you must capture the Avatar and bring him to me. Go."
  
  Uncle rushes onto the dueling grounds faster than she ever seen the man move. He carries her brother away. At least my brother won't be alone.
  
  When Zuzu saw that our father was the one he'd have to duel, he refused to fight. He fell on his knees and begged for mercy. It probably saved his life. If he fought, Father would kill him, but it would be far too aggressive to kill a begging child. I should've advised him to do that, but it looks like his idiocy pays off occasionally.
  
  > let Others Do the Saving
  I ended up saving his sorry butt once already. Uncle should do something about this. He's the one that got Zuzu in trouble after all. He should stop guzzling tea for a few minutes and save my brother's life.
  
  She walks to the training grounds and practices her firebending. The blue seems deeper today. The fire feels hotter. She notices how her stands of hair fall out of place more commonly, but that doesn't bother her now. She lets her movements flow into the next with savage punching followed by wild kicking. Each time, blue flames come out and hit the target.
  
  It hardly registers with her that it became dark outside. Firebenders draw their power from the sun, so they lose some of their power after the sun no longer gives its light. However, Azula's fire hasn't diminished, for each fireball has only increased her... confusion.
  
  I don't feel anything!
  
  Her heart aches for her brother. No one else loves her like he does. Mother never gave her love. Father loves her because of her perfection and results. Zuzu loves her because she is Azula.
  
  I'm not sad!
  
  Her hands twitch on their own accord. She feels an emotion for only the most pathetic, weak excuses for human life that ever set foot upon the living world. Zuzu must feel it all the time. She feels fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of loosing her kin.
  
  I'm not afraid.
  
  Her lips twist into a ferocious snarl that would make the most battle-hardened men squirm. Her blood boils as if her fire has roasted it. She feels fury, rage. No one will save Zuzu, so he will die. He will lie all night being tended by their uncle. In the morning, he will realize his mistake and try to secure passage out, but he will be moments too slow. Her father will ensure Uncle Iroh will be too slow, so he can kill Zuzu.
  
  Fine. I'll admit I'm angry.
  
  Grumbling all the way, the princess marches to her room. Opening her lowest dresser's drawer, she pulls out a small chest of coins. There never was much point to buying things when anyone would gift or give them to her instead. Putting more money in a bag than most peasants would see in twenty lifetimes, she slinks through the back passageways to the infirmary. Zuzu and I used to explore these. Father wouldn't want her to help the old idiot and her dum-dum, but Azula isn't a mindless servant. I'm not. I'm definitely not.
  
  She creeps through the doorway and spies only two figures. One slouches in a chair. His breathing patterns suggest he fell asleep or meditates. Knowing him, the latter. The other lies in a bed with a bandage covering the entire left side of his face. Will Zuzu be half-blind?
  
  "Have you come to gloat, my niece?" Uncle raises his head from his meditation. Azula forces herself not to shake her head. Why does everyone always assume the worst about me? Oh, right. I'm a monster. I always lie. Thanks for nothing, Mother. Thanks for never bothering to love me.
  
  Instead of arguing, she hands her uncle the bag of coins without a word.
  
  "What is this?" He squints, trying to read the symbols without adequate lighting.
  
  She shrugs. "Since you probably wasted all your funds of tea, here's something to ensure you don't kill my brother immediately."
  
  "Why are you doing this?"
  
  "Despite popular opinion, I find breathing brothers as more useful than dead ones." She glances at Zuzu. "I may not see him for a long time. Tell him he better be able to bend at least pathetically bad instead of horrifically bad."
  
  Azula takes one more look at her brother and memorizes the sight. She sears it into her memory. Will she even recognize him next time they meet? Probably not. He won't recognize her either. She will be wearing the regalia of Fire Lord as she welcomes back her brother from exile. Then, he will thank her for rescinding his banishment and pay respects to their recently deceased father.
  
  She walks back to her bedroom and falls into her bed. When sleep overtakes her moments later, a small smile graces her lips.
  
  > 12
  Azula didn't bother to waive goodbye as the ship sailed away. Ty Lee would've been crying, but the airhead joined the circus. That's... that's for runaways and inconsequential people. Ty Lee could've been so much more if she stayed. Instead, her talents will be used to entertain the peasants of the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation like some uninteresting vagabond.
  
  The princess clenches her fists. Of course, Father would "gift" Mai's parents with the governorship of a colony. Her parents jumped at the opportunity and were gone by the end of the week. She wonders if Mai stands on the stern and stares back. The distance is already too great. She can't see her anymore.
  
  I don't feel lonely. I don't FEEL.
  
  She sits in a palanquin. No princess could dream about walking like a normal human being... or a warrior. On either side, she and her bearers are flanked by her royal guards. The citizens back away from the procession as Azula peeks outside. Children stop playing. Mothers gather their toddlers close by. Men step between their families and her.
  
  Only the footsteps of her procession break the silence.
  
  It's not that she misses Ty Lee's eternally positive attitude or Mai's steadfast dedication. She doesn't miss bickering with Zuzu and annoying him in the most childish manners. She doesn't long for her sparring matches against her two friends nor plotting various ways to take the throne from Zuzu without killing him. She doesn't miss Mother. Not at all.
  
  After arriving at the palace, she rushes to the training grounds. Everything burns that can be. The grass, the targets, anything. She throws fire at it all. I am not lonely. She focuses on a metal pole. With a continuous whirlwind of blue flame, she watches the gray metal become red with heat. I am not lonely! The pole tilts to the left as the heat destroys the foundation. I FEEL NOTHING!
  
  The blue flame in her hands become something else entirely. It's still blue, but it cackles and arches. Surprised, she stops bending.
  
  Her insides feel as though they were torn apart and sewn back together. That was power. That was... Recalling what she read in ancient, royal's only scrolls, she swings her arms in a circular motion and embraces the feeling of... Nothingness.
  
  Electricity dances around her fingertips as Azula's mind and body tremble from the power. She points at the pole. The lightning soars through the air and strike the pole. A roll of thunder follows in its wake.
  
  Feeling exhausted, Azula sits down on the scorched grass. She holds the position for a moment before lying down. The sun beams down on her, and it seems to be warming her. I feel so cold, so empty.
  
  She doesn't know how long she lies there. Minutes? Hours? Either way, it ends when a figure steps between her and the sun.
  
  "Azula, get up."
  
  "Yes, Father." She stands though her legs wobble.
  
  "You generated lightning." He doesn't sound impressed. "It is time for you to improve. You'd die on the battlefield because this helplessness."
  
  She represses a wince. "Yes, Father."
  
  Up until today, a Crown Prince over three hundred years ago was the youngest to generate lightning. He was twenty. Azula is twelve.
  
  At least Zuzu would've been impressed. She readies into her combat forms, ignoring the pain and her headache. It's too bad perfection won't allow for praise or rest. Such is the life of a future Fire Lord. All she needs to do is try harder, think cannier, and never show weakness. Then, I will get Father's approval forever.
  
  > 13
  Azula feels sore in so many places. She never thought she could feel such aching pain everywhere. She wraps herself with a robe as she steps out from the tub. I don't feel dirty. It's just because I'm sore. Today was the most taxing training session she had with Father yet. It was alone, secluded. Not even the guards could witness what he decided to teach her today.
  
  He called it a birthday present. It's the first present he ever gave her. Other nobles gave her gifts, trinkets and jewelry. They're piled in the corner of her room, all but a few unopened. None were as amazing as Zuzu's knife. Uncle gave her a doll, but she always was fascinated by the craftmanship of the barbarian's weapon.
  
  He said I'm a woman now.
  
  She stares in the mirror. It's not something she would do often. Her servants prettied her as fitting for a princess. Rubbing her hand down her pristine jawline, she wonders if this is why men... look at her differently now. All of them do. ALL.
  
  Would Uncle give me a stare like them? Tales of his... exploits and even more numerous attempted exploits still echo in the palace halls even two years after his departure with Zuzu. Zuzu... You'd just see your sister, wouldn't you? I could've used one male underling I could count on. You'd do stupid things act like a blubbering savage, but you were an honest dum-dum.
  
  She focuses back on the mirror.
  
  Stumbling backwards, she shoots flames at HER out of pure reflex. She shouldn't be here! There's no screaming. Azula hit her target. There's no smell of burnt flesh of melodic cries of pain.
  
  She looks at her target... and laughs. Except in the fake, mocking laugh she uses for manipulation, she hasn't laughed in months.
  
  The princess looks around and listens. No one noticed this. Her bedroom and washroom doors are closed. She stands and walks to the mirror. Scorch marks cover the once pristine surface. She raises her hand and touches the figure on the other side of the reflection.
  
  "I look like Mother." Her voice trembles, a clear sign of weakness. Father can't hear her, so he won't be disappointing. Right now, she is weak.
  
  The jawline, the curve of her forehead, her lips. They're the same as Mother's. The realization hits her harder than any pain she receives during training. She has her nose, her eyebrows, her hair. Everything is the same.
  
  "How could you?" She imagines Mother standing in place of her reflection. Azula's voice turn venomous. "You gave me your... beauty. You must've known I looked like you in your youth. Could you not love yourself?" She slams her fist against the glass. It shakes but doesn't break. "I am from you! You carried me, birthed me, and were supposed to love me. I am Azula. I am the perfect prodigy. You threw away your life to protect Zuzu but couldn't bother even a moment to... to do anything for me?"
  
  Azula clenches her fists. If not, fire would burn the walls. "Father loves me! He sees I'm worth training. Zuzu loves me because he's Zuzu. Everyone else fears me, respects me. You couldn't even show fear? Why was it just disapproval? I tried everything. I saved your son, twice now!"
  
  Her voice becomes strained. "Should I conquer Ba Sing Se and become a hero? Should I become a better bender? What can I DO? Tell me, and I'll do it. I can do anything."
  
  She hears silence.
  
  > run Away
  Azula flees from her mother. She runs through the halls with all her might. Every step acts as more distance between her and Mother. People yell at her to stop running, but she pays them no heed. Don't they know Mother hates her? Now, she won't have to see that woman any longer.
  
  "Mother!" Azula throws a blast of fire at another mirror. She turns and sees another and another. Spinning in a circle, she sees Mother everywhere. A small portion of her brain screams at her that she sees only her reflection. She only stepped into a changing room. That part of her brain gets crushed by bestial fear.
  
  I must escape Mother!
  
  Seeing one avenue of retreat, she blows out a window's glass with her blue fire. She leaps through the hole. For a moment, she flies free of her Mother's presence. Then, she falls, since she was high up in the palace.
  
  Blue had always been Azula's color. It made her special, different from the reds and yellows of everyone else. She would've laughed at the irony of her death. She died in a pile of red, her blood. No matter how special she was, she still bled red just like everyone else.