text: [Themes: Wordplay, Humor, intelligent pig, wordplay, profanity]
  
  > look at the dumpster
  It's made of steel, and almost entirely open on one end for easy deposition of debris. Scrawled across it is the phrase "ATROPHY CASE." Perhaps the contractor left out a space when labelling it.
  
  > About yourself
  You're the adventurer, in this scenario.
  
  > go south
  The southern door leads out of the house. It is immediately recognizable as one of those doors through which one can pass only upon completing the game.
  
  > open the south door
  I only caught that first part. Try truncating that command or using a different object.
  
  > Difficult difficult difficult
  Your difficult labor pays off. You open the difficult difficult difficult door.
  
  [+2.]
  
  > examine the difficult difficult difficult door
  This difficult difficult difficult door looks like the kind that is always getting stuck stuck stuck. It now stands open.
  
  > Go north
  Here's a sort of small, enclosed backyard, closed in with a high wooden fence and completely covered with asphalt.
  
  A door to the s, leading inside, is open.
  
  A little boy stands here smugly. 'Georgie' is embroidered on his knit shirt.
  
  There's one of those robotic puppies - the latest fad - here.
  
  Your object-sensitive eyes also notice: ... toy dinosaur.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > take the dinosaur
  [ ... ]
  
  > look at the dinosaur
  The toy dinosaur looks like a triceratops. It is made of injection-molded plastic, and colored the same pale, milky green all over.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma was playing Zork on my computer, and she's so ugly, she broke the Mirror Room!"
  
  > Jump shark
  I only caught that first part. Try truncating that command or using a different object.
  
  > examine boy
  The boy looks about the size for second grade, but his serious, bespectacled gaze suggests that he may be slightly older.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's face looks like an 'at' sign."
  
  > Hello
  Georgie waves at you tentatively.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > take the boy
  You move in to hoist Georgie away from the prize, but he eludes your grasp. He manages to stay near the toy dinosaur, too.
  
  The puppy quips: "You got an elvish momma of great antiquity."
  
  > take the puppy
  The robotic puppy is endowed with locomotive abilities that are as quick and random as its prepackaged wit. It scuttles away from you quickly.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, she tried to give hypertext Ritalin."
  
  > ask Georgie about dinosaur
  "Miiiiiiiiine!" Georgie screeches, whisking the toy dinosaur away and setting it down elsewhere on the asphalt. "You can't have that. Not unless you know more dinosaur names than me, and nobody knows more dinosaur names than me. So there!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, when you were born she thought the umbilical cord meant that you were a peripheral."
  
  > say the triceratops
  Whom do you want to say that to?
  
  > say the triceratops to Georgie
  Georgie reddens. He clenches his fists, twists back and forth while straining forward on his toes, and emits a trumpeting whine. "I was gonna say that one next!" he says. His concentration seems unbroken, despite this outburst.
  
  "Oh yeah? Tyrannosaurus!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so ugly, the computer took one look at her and said 'Illegal operation.'"
  
  > say the stegasaurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  "Oh yeah? Psittacosaurus!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > say the raptor to Georgie
  Georgie reddens. He clenches his fists, twists back and forth while straining forward on his toes, and emits a trumpeting whine. "I was gonna say that one next!" he says. His concentration seems unbroken, despite this outburst.
  
  "Oh yeah? Stegosaurus!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > say the onatops to Georgie
  "Is that supposed to be a dinosaur name?" Georgie says. "Nuh-uh!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's extra-wide, and SCSI."
  
  > say the pteradon to Georgie
  "Is that supposed to be a dinosaur name?" Georgie says. "Nuh-uh!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, she thinks she can make a floppy disk into a hard disk by pulling on it."
  
  > say the brontosaurus to Georgie
  Georgie reddens. He clenches his fists, twists back and forth while straining forward on his toes, and emits a trumpeting whine. "I was gonna say that one next!" he says. His concentration seems unbroken, despite this outburst.
  
  "Oh yeah? Theropod!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > say the apatasaurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  "Oh yeah? Hadrosaur!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > say the hydropsaur to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  "Oh yeah? Supersaurus!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so fat she'd barely fit on five CD-ROMs."
  
  > say the godzilla to Georgie
  "Is that supposed to be a dinosaur name?" Georgie says. "Nuh-uh!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so poor, she's got a C-64."
  
  > say the azerty to Georgie
  "Is that supposed to be a dinosaur name?" Georgie says. "Nuh-uh!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma goes down more often than Windows 98."
  
  > say the puppy to Georgie
  "Is that supposed to be a dinosaur name?" Georgie says. "Nuh-uh!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, when she got hungry she asked people to forward spam to her."
  
  > kick Georgie
  Georgie is deft at eluding playground bullies, and dodges your attack. "You don't know-ow dinosaur names," Georgie sings. "You're just a stupid me-e-nie!" He manages to remain quite near the toy dinosaur, though.
  
  > say dino to Georgie
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, she thought USENET was previously owned."
  
  "Miiiiiiiiine!" Georgie screeches, whisking the toy dinosaur away and setting it down elsewhere on the asphalt. "You can't have that. Not unless you know more dinosaur names than me, and nobody knows more dinosaur names than me. So there!"
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > say the abcsaur to Georgie
  "Is that supposed to be a dinosaur name?" Georgie says. "Nuh-uh!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, when tech support told her to reboot she started putting her shoes back on."
  
  > say the abcsaurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  "Oh yeah? Prosauropod!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so fat, they're trying to break her up like Microsoft."
  
  > say the xyzsaurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  "Oh yeah? Apatoosaur!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > say the yomommasaurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  > say stegosaurus to Georgie
  "Oh yeah? Pterosaurus!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > Xyzzy
  Georgie lets out a high-pitched laugh. "That one's already been sa-aid!" he sings, taunting you. "You don't know any mo-ore dinosaur names!"
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so butch, she shops at Amazon."
  
  A distracted figure with a huge bushy beard blunders in just as you speak the word of ancient magic. The man wears loose clothing, and an expression of intense concentration. He is clutching his frizzy hair with one hand; his other hand grips an intricate grid - the object of his attention.
  
  His eyes brighten as the word you've spoken reaches his ears. "Yes! Yes! That's it!" he exclaims as he draws out a pen and fills in a row of squares. "Now my hyperconstrained, double-acrostic, cryptic crossword is complete, and ready to puzzle others. That was all I needed - just a simple five-letter word, composed only of the letters 'X' 'Y' and 'Z,' that would fit here!"
  
  He grips your hand and shakes it fervently. "Thank you! Now that I've finished with that, I can get on to those other things I've been meaning to do, such as monkey-wrenching the demolition and saving recreational linguistics for future generations." He turns away and mutters, just before he departs, "I hope none of that will involve lying in front of a bulldozer..."
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  [+1.]
  
  > say the thing1saurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  "Oh yeah? Mosasaurus!" Georgie says, with pride.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's faster than 1GHz."
  
  > say the thing2saurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled - for a moment. "Hey, you just said something like that," he says. "That doesn't count."
  
  The puppy quips: "I checked out www.uglydog.com the other day - and guess who I saw?"
  
  > say applesaurus to Georgie
  Georgie looks puzzled, as if he hasn't heard that dinosaur name before. He sputters for a moment, perhaps confused by the novel name, apparently finding it difficult to think.
  
  Georgie sniffs. His eyes become large, resembling the eyes of an affrighted waif-child in a Margaret Keene painting. A big shiny tear gleams beneath his glasses, dripping from his right eye. Then the boy's face reddens as a bead of snot begins to droop from his left nostril. "That's ... I don't ... that's all the dinosaur names I know. Uh, well ... Waaaaaaaaah!"
  
  He gives the toy dinosaur a little kick, tipping it over. "Well, it's just a stupid toy. You can have it, anyway. So what!" Georgie runs through the difficult difficult difficult door, then runs across the foyer and out the front door of the house, disappearing.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so ugly, she broke the QuickCam."
  
  > take the dinosaur
  Taken.
  
  The puppy quips: "I saw your momma selling herself on eBay yesterday."
  
  [+10.]
  
  > kick the puppy
  The robotic puppy is endowed with locomotive abilities that are as quick and random as its prepackaged wit. It scuttles away from you quickly.
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.
  
  > take the puppy
  The robotic puppy is endowed with locomotive abilities that are as quick and random as its prepackaged wit. It scuttles away from you quickly.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma provides service on every port."
  
  > say your momma to the puppy
  The puppy doesn't seem to notice you speaking to it. Perhaps this cut-rate model doesn't accept voice commands or queries.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so ugly I need a screen saver to look at her."
  
  > throw the dinosaur at puppy
  You lack the nerve when it comes to the crucial moment.
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's so stupid, when I told her I was backing up my computer she said I should eat more fiber."
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  ... toy dinosaur
  
  The puppy quips: "Your momma's plug-and-play."
  
  > turn the puppy off
  That's not something you can switch.
  
  The puppy quips: "The Wizard of Frobozz took one look at your momma and said, 'Fugly!'"
  
  > cry
  Waaaah!
  
  The puppy lets out a derisive little puppy laugh.