text: > look at Victoria
  Mother has a portrait just like this back home, hung in exactly the same place over the parlour fireplace. Everybody you know has the same. You reckon that anyone who doesn't must be a spy, a heretic, a foreigner, or worse.
  
  > examine Bible
  Aunt Emma's had the same Bible for as long as you've known her. How she manages to keep it from getting dog-eared, given how often she reads it, you do not know. Aunt Emma has it open on her lap, and you notice that she's using Janet's master key to mark her place.
  
  > examine the key
  The master key is usually carried by the servants, which seems a little ironic. But then it's the servants who need to get into every nook and cranny of the house, from attic to coal cellar; normal people only need to get into the civilised living spaces. Since the servants today are out, it's been handed over to Aunt Emma ... which still seems a little ironic, since she's the mistress of the house.
  
  > examine Emma
  Aunt Emma is Uncle Stephen's sister, one of those maiden aunts who always ends up chaperoning people around; which, as you understand it, means it's her job to make sure people don't have any fun. You know she means well, really, but she takes her job much too seriously.
  
  > look at the fireplace
  The fireplace is cold this time of the year, just as it should be.
  The mantel above is, as usual, burgeoning with a million little ornaments.
  
  > examine the mantel
  It's one of those extraordinarily sturdy oak affairs. Every time you visit, it looks as though it could not possibly hold even one more little ornament without collapsing; and yet, every time you visit, it looks as though Aunt Emma has managed to fit one more thing on it.
  
  > examine the ornaments
  Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.
  
  Among the many souvenirs of ancient history, you spot a duelling pistol. That doesn't look like the sort of thing boring people like Aunt Emma or Uncle Stephen (or, let's face it, anyone in your whole family) are likely to keep around the house!
  
  > ask Emma about the pistol
  "That used to belong to an old friend. I don't normally hold with duelling, but he was a very dear friend and ... you really should get back to your reading, Hector."
  
  > ask Emma about the friend
  "You are referring to a dear, old friend of the family," says Aunt Emma, not looking at you. "He got a commission with the army and went to India and ... war is a nasty, nasty business, Hector. I hope and pray that you never have to see it." Well, perhaps, but it would be really exciting....
  
  > ask Emma about the war
  "That," says Aunt Emma firmly, "is thankfully something about which I know absolutely nothing."
  
  Your family is so boring.
  
  > ask Emma about the india
  "I much prefer to stay in England, thank you very much. Strange lands like India are for wanderers with more courage than sense." Aunt Emma pauses. "Well, courage ... it's a very fine thing, I suppose...."
  
  You're sure you hear Aunt Emma say something about "dear old Captain Davis..." as she turns back to her Bible.
  
  > ask Emma about Davis
  "Captain Davis was a dear, old friend of the family," says Aunt Emma, not looking at you. "He got a commission with the army and went to India and ... war is a nasty, nasty business, Hector. I hope and pray that you never have to see it." Well, perhaps, but it would be really exciting....
  
  > ask Emma about Bible
  Aunt Emma wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.
  
  > look at the armchair
  Give Aunt Emma due credit: she did make sure you always got the most comfortable armchair in the house.
  
  > About yourself
  You've been thoroughly scrubbed and ironed and starched into your least comfortable set of clothes. One day, when you are either Prime Minister or Archbishop of Canterbury -- depending on whether you listen to Mother or Father -- you're going to outlaw starch or declare it anathema or both.
  
  > look at the window
  From here, you can see the lawn and the woods and the distant  spires of the cathedral. The sun is shining and you know that the woods are just bursting with interesting things to discover.
  
  > examine the Cathedral
  Barchester Cathedral is just visible beyond the woods. You can't make out the details, but you know it's all very grand and impressive, at least to someone who isn't made to go there quite as regularly as you are.
  
  > examine the sun
  Why are you still indoors? Why?
  
  > look at woods
  The woods look incredibly enticing this time of the year.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  Uncle Stephen's latest sermon
  
  > examine the sermon
  Uncle Stephen seems to have picked 1 Chronicles 6:1-15 as the topic of his sermon. Oh dear.
  
  > show the sermon to Emma
  Aunt Emma tries to explain the sermon to you. Her rather confused and unintelligible rambling fails to make it any more interesting.
  
  > ask Emma about the levi
  Aunt Emma wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.
  
  > put sermon on mantel
  There's no room. There's never any room.
  
  > break the window
  Violence isn't the answer to this one. Also, Uncle Stephen would tan your hide.
  
  > give the sermon to Emma
  You show Uncle Stephen's latest sermon to Aunt Emma.
  
  Aunt Emma tries to explain the sermon to you. Her rather confused and unintelligible rambling fails to make it any more interesting.
  
  > ask Emma about the key
  "Someone has to take care of supper while the servants are away, Hector."
  
  > get the portrait
  The portrait is out of reach. Besides, that would probably be lèse-majesté, which you just learned about last Spring in
  your French lessons. You would never want to visit a French crime on your English queen. That would be wrong.
  
  > get the key
  Ask, and it shall be given you; but somehow you doubt if this will be the case here.
  
  > ask Emma for the key
  Ask, and it shall be given you; but that is clearly not the case here.
  
  Something among the ornaments on the mantel catches the light, and gleams momentarily.
  
  > get the pistol
  If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  
  > go east
  Emma gives you a stern glare that quite effectively puts you in your place. Or keeps you there, at least.
  
  > enter the fireplace
  You'll only get yourself covered in soot.
  
  > ask Emma about Uncle
  "Your uncle is a busy man, Hector. He does not wish to be disturbed."
  
  > ask Emma about yourself
  You're not so vain that you need Aunt Emma to tell you what a good boy you are; nor do you care to hear about how you should have washed behind your ears this morning, or some such nonsense.