text: [Themes: Mystery, Slice of life, house setting]
  
  > call 911 on the phone
  No reply. (If you were trying to contact the emergency services, the number in the UK is 999.)
  
  You can hear heavy footsteps nearby.
  
  Static hisses from the television.
  
  > call 999 on the phone
  Okay, the situation's serious, but surely you don't need to involve the emergency services.
  
  Static hisses from the television.
  
  > Go northeast
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  On the simple table is a diamond.
  
  The cellar door hangs open invitingly to the west.
  
  > ask the door about the lock
  "The number?" bellows the voice behind the door. "The number is 9939. Hurry!"
  
  Banging sounds and and cries of "let me out!" are coming from the cellar door.
  
  > Go north
  The path from the south ends at a large crazy golf course, separated into several smaller sections, which all have crazy obstacle courses for players to putt their golf balls through in order to get to the hole. Flowerbeds are positioned dangerously close to the crazy course to the west, and a hedge blocks your progress north. You can see a tree (the only one in the garden, it seems) to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  You can see a hole under the hedge to the north which is just about big enough to squeeze through.
  
  On the crazy golf course is a golf ball.
  
  Sunshine momentarily bursts out through the grey cloud cover.
  
  > go to the north
  You squeeze through the gap at the bottom of the hedge.
  
  You stand on the inside of a U-bend in a deep and fast flowing river - you are not sure of the name of it, since you didn't have much time to consult your A-to-Z on the way down, but it looks pretty much devoid of toxic waste and shopping trolleys. On the other side, you can see a field where the grass is overgrown and tall purple weeds have taken root. It reminds you of the wasteland behind your parents' house that you used to play in as a child. Anyway, the only way back is through the hole in the hedge to the south.
  
  > Swim
  The river is too dangerous to swim in.
  
  > go south
  You squeeze through the gap at the bottom of the hedge.
  
  The path from the south ends at a large crazy golf course, separated into several smaller sections, which all have crazy obstacle courses for players to putt their golf balls through in order to get to the hole. Flowerbeds are positioned dangerously close to the crazy course to the west, and a hedge blocks your progress north. You can see a tree (the only one in the garden, it seems) to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  You can see a hole under the hedge to the north which is just about big enough to squeeze through.
  
  On the crazy golf course is a golf ball.
  
  > play the golf
  Albert easily thrashes you on the first course, and you remember your past losses and throw in the towel. "Bad luck," he says smugly.
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.
  
  > take the ball
  (putting the remote control into the plastic supermarket bag to make room)
  Taken.
  
  > go to the south
  A simple pathway, immaculately tiled, leads north. Flower beds surround you, beautifully arranged, in every colour of the rainbow, and to the north east you can see a great apple tree.
  
  The gate to the south is open.
  
  A hole has been dug by the side of the path.
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.
  
  > go to the south
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  Scamp sniffs at your hands for food.
  
  > ask Scamp,  to go north
  Scamp follows your lead excitedly.
  
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  > Go south
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  Scamp trots along here from the north, careful to avoid the Mother of the Bride who glares at him and mutters something dark under her breath.
  
  > ask William about the pizza
  "I've already eaten!" he snaps.
  
  > ask the door about the number
  "The number?" bellows the voice behind the door. "The number is 4528. Hurry!"
  
  > Go west
  You can't, since the cellar door is in the way.
  
  Scamp trots along here from the south, and sniffs at your feet.
  
  > ask Scamp,  to go northeast
  Scamp follows your lead excitedly.
  
  The kitchen staff are hard at work on the meal for the reception, and from their progress so far, you'd say that they are making enough food to keep the Royal family well fed for a good few months. To the west, a swing-door leads into the dining hall, and the main exit is to the southwest. A pantry lies to the south.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  A pompous and temperamental chef stands around shouting at the staff and chopping things up.
  
  > ask Scamp,  to go south
  Scamp follows your lead excitedly.
  
  Should Luxembourg ever suffer a famine, they need only raid this pantry to ensure that their citizens don't starve. The fruit, vegetables, meat, ingredients and drinks are all stored using technology that would put Nasa's space programme to shame. There is a tradesman's entrance to the east, but the main exit is to the north.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  > feed Scamp
  What do you want to feed Scamp?
  
  > look at Scamp
  This excitable Alsatian puppy is exhausting to watch. He bounces, he sniffs for food, he throws up paws for passers-by to stroke, and he rarely stays still in one place for long.
  
  > ask Scamp,  to go south
  Scamp follows your lead excitedly.
  
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  > ask Scamp,  to go south
  Scamp is about to disappear out of the front door when he stops suddenly, sniffs the air and decides against it.
  
  > press 4 on the remote
  The lock blips anonymously.
  
  Scamp trots off to the northeast.
  
  > Go west
  This vast room is presumably where the D'Arcy clan eat their meals; it reminds you too much of your old school dinner hall for you to feel entirely comfortable here. A large sturdy table sits in the centre of the room, surrounded by ten carefully-crafted chairs, and a set of antique jugs rest on stools in a small alcove in the west wall. The walls are covered in paintings which look impressive until you examine them closely and see that they are certainly not in the league of the great masters. The back garden is accessible via a door to the north, a corridor leads south, and the kitchen is through the swing doors to the east.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  Scamp bounces and barks, trying to get you to play with him.
  
  > press 8 on the remote
  There is a click. Then, with an electronic fanfare, the cellar door swings open.
  
  > Go west
  Considering the high technology that has gone into guarding this area, the cellar is surprisingly lo-tech. One very dull fluorescent tube casts gloomy light over the brick walls. The air is damp; cobwebs line the ceiling. A tunnel disappears off into the darkness to the northeast, and a set of stone steps lead east up to the passageway.
  
  Discarded carelessly on a crate is something which declares itself to be a water detector.
  
  > take the detector
  (putting the diamond into the plastic supermarket bag to make room) Taken.
  
  > examine the detector
  It has the appearance of one of those dodgy-looking devices you find in novelty catalogues - a chunky cousin to the TV remote control. "Benson's Water Detector" reads the fancy lettering above a single button.
  
  > Examine crate
  Stamped on one side is the message "Produce of Crete", but the crate itself is empty. How about that, a crate from Crete.
  
  > Go northeast
  The narrow passage ends at a wooden door barring your way northeast. This damp air is not good for your chest, and you are worried that the walls might close in or collapse around you. Must be claustrophobia. The main cellar, positively cosy compared to this part, is back down to the southwest.
  
  > examine the door
  The door is large and imposing.
  
  > open the door
  You try pulling the handle, but the door is jammed.
  
  > Go southwest
  Considering the high technology that has gone into guarding this area, the cellar is surprisingly lo-tech. One very dull fluorescent tube casts gloomy light over the brick walls. The air is damp; cobwebs line the ceiling. A tunnel disappears off into the darkness to the northeast, and a set of stone steps lead east up to the passageway.
  
  Perhaps the family has just emptied the cellar, or is about to fill it: there certainly isn't anything of any value here at the moment, only an empty crate.
  
  > go upwards
  Here at the heart of the manor is an oak passageway with doorways leading to most rooms on the ground floor. You can see the great dining hall to the north, and a brass sign above the doorway to the northeast states "Kitchen", but the east and southwest exits hold no clues as to where they lead. The entrance hall is off to the south, and a sturdy door stands in the western wall.
  
  A simple polished table lies in the southeast corner.
  
  The cellar door hangs open invitingly to the west.
  
  > Go north
  The path from the south ends at a large crazy golf course, separated into several smaller sections, which all have crazy obstacle courses for players to putt their golf balls through in order to get to the hole. Flowerbeds are positioned dangerously close to the crazy course to the west, and a hedge blocks your progress north. You can see a tree (the only one in the garden, it seems) to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  You can see a hole under the hedge to the north which is just about big enough to squeeze through.
  
  > Go north
  The hedge prevents you from moving north.
  
  The grey sky overhead turns a little darker, threatening rain.
  
  > Go south
  No! You mustn't trample all over the delicate flowerbed!
  
  The grey sky overhead turns a little darker, threatening rain.
  
  > go west
  The path from the south ends at a large crazy golf course, separated into several smaller sections, which all have crazy obstacle courses for players to putt their golf balls through in order to get to the hole. Flowerbeds are positioned dangerously close to the crazy course to the west, and a hedge blocks your progress north. You can see a tree (the only one in the garden, it seems) to the east.
  
  Good old Uncle Albert stands nearby with a glass of brandy in one hand.
  
  You can see a hole under the hedge to the north which is just about big enough to squeeze through.
  
  > go to the south
  A simple pathway, immaculately tiled, leads north. Flower beds surround you, beautifully arranged, in every colour of the rainbow, and to the north east you can see a great apple tree.
  
  The gate to the south is open.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  A hole has been dug by the side of the path.