text: Instead of running away like someone with a little common sense would, you simply steady yourself and begin to sprint straight towards the Sand Whale. After a few minutes, you're close, the massive vehicle reaching far above you. The only question is, what are you going to do?
  
  You've never done this before, but maybe you can... Punch through it? It's not that big once you get past the fact that it absolutely dwarfs you. And what, it's made of solid steel? You've punched solid steel before! Though when you did that you broke your hand...
  
  On second thought, you could probably jump into it and take out all the bandits! You don't look it, but you never skip leg day, and it's paid off! You participated in the Badlands Olympics once, and you hold the world record for the high jump! Jumping onto the Sand Whale would be a breeze!
  
  > Think you'll pass on punching it. You'll jump up and into the Sand Whale!
  You get ready with some stretches as the Sand Whale approaches you. While you stretch, you run through some calculations in your head... If you're pretty tall, and the Sand Whale is very very very very big, then that means you have to jump just a bit higher than you usually do if you want to reach the top. Shouldn't be too tough.
  
  Before long, the Sand Whale is within range. You squat once, twice, then leap into the air! Through the power of your ridiculously strong legs, you manage to fly all the way up and onto the top of the Sand Whale. There's no one in sight, only the endless expanse of the Badlands below you and a door leading into the Sand Whale to your left.
  
  With nothing else to do, you head up to it and kick it open, shattering the wooden door into a million pieces. Instead of leading to a staircase like you thought it would, it leads to an... Elevator? How did they install an elevator? Eh, it doesn't matter. This just means you won't have to walk down a bunch of stairs!
  
  There's six buttons on the elevator:
  
  "T" (You think that might mean top, where you are now)
  
  "4" (4th floor)
  
  "3" (3rd floor)
  
  "2" (2nd floor)
  
  "1" (1st floor)
  
  And "E"... What's E stand for?
  
  > You'll just go down to the first floor, that must be where the raiders are!
  You smash your fist against the button labeled "1st". The elevator rattles, and you think you faintly hear... Elevator music? Huh. For a few moments all you can do is just stand there awkwardly as the elevator slowly descends into the bowels of the Sand Whale. You wonder for a moment: how did you even get to this point in your life, fighting bad guys with your fists? Maybe it's time for some well deserved reflection...
  
  Ding!
  
  A robotic voice says "welcome to your floor", as you're greeted by an open room packed full of bandits. In the center of the room is a throne made of jagged scrap metal, with a particularly nasty looking guy sitting on it. He's bald with clothes made of rubber and other bits of scrap metal, and... Wait, does he have a saw blade in his head?
  
  He stands, grabbing a large stick that has a pair of old shears welded onto the end of it. You gulp slightly, as he stares at you and begins to speak...
  
  "You! Wanderer! What brings you to my throne!?"
  
  ... You weren't expecting his voice to be that of a woman's.
  
  In fact, now that you look closely, the raider leader has make up on! She's even got those lady balloons on her chest! Wow, you've never seen a lady raider before! Uh, uh, uh...
  
  Uhhhhh...
  
  What are you supposed to say to a woman? You've never done this crap!
  
  > A guy gave you all these lines that will make ladies like you! ... Or so he said. Let's try out "hey baby, there's a party in my pants, and you're invited!"
  As soon as the words leave your lips, the raider leader's scowl deepens. Uh... Wasn't that supposed to get you "laid"? That's what the guy said it would do! Damn, maybe you misremembered what he said, or something...
  
  The leader snaps her fingers, drawing the attention of her underlings. "I'm done with this clown. Keep him down while I use Trixie," she pats the shears on a stick, "to clip his little wiener off."
  
  Oh crap! They're gonna cut your wiener off! And she said it was little! You were told it was a perfectly average size! This is bad... What are you gonna do?
  
  > What do you do? You run away!
  You gulp slightly as they approach you menacingly before pointing behind them. "Hey, what the hell is that?!" They turn around and look, and you almost laugh. The fools! They fell for one of the classic blunders! With them distracted, you turn tail and run, blasting straight through the wall.
  
  You run. And you run. And then you run. And then you run some more. After a while you're pretty sure you should stop running. You've been running so hard and so long you don't even know where you are anymore; so you slow down, stop, and take a look around.
  
  You find yourself standing... Right where you were when you first saw the Sand Whale? What? How did that happen? You were running in the opposite direction. The Sand Whale is nowhere to be seen, either!
  
  As you ponder this, you see a person approaching you, dressed in a karate gi under a leather jacket. Hey, is he trying to steal your style? The nerve of that guy! You approach him, fully intent on kicking his ass for taking your style, when you see his face. He's... You! Of course, you must have ran backwards so fast that you crossed over into the next dimension! Or you just time traveled or something.
  
  He stops dead in his tracks. Then, he glares. "Hey asshole! Are you trying to steal my look!?" Well damn. Looks like he doesn't recognize you.
  
  You suddenly feel like either of you laying a finger on each other would be a bad idea. And he's already running forward to attack. What do you do?
  
  > know you, and he's going to go for a dropkick! You'll make to dodge it, then hightail it out of here!
  You begin to dodge once the other you is close enough to begin his dropkick. But, despite what you may have thought, he instead goes in for a cross punch! You weren't expecting that, and before you can dodge, his fist connects with your face!
  
  The two of you stand there for a few seconds... Before both of you are wiped out in a violent explosion, caused by your molecules meeting and rejecting the fact that you're both identical! ... Or something.