text: [Themes: Slice of life, teenage protagonist, modem, male protagonist]
  
  > describe your surroundings
  There are six people around the large table, the guys from yesterday plus a couple more. The guy with the strange bangs and suit jacket is at the head of the table beside a goth girl who's too beautiful to look at directly. The table is laid out beautifully, a candelabra melting onto the white tablecloth, chipped plates trimmed with gold.
  
  There's a bottle of white wine with a dusty label, within arms' reach.
  
  You can also see Maximus the Cleric and Paula the Mage here.
  
  "Ah, sommelier," Paula waves him over, proving herself an improvisational genius. Max comes, his eyes stunned, and only squeaks a bit as she pulls the dusty bottles from his grasp.
  
  She sets one on the table and reads the label on the other. Max backs away towards the door, and then makes a break for it, his backpack clinking with other bottles.
  
  > eat the duck
  (first taking Drumstick)
  You're not really hungry.
  
  "Ah -- a pinot noir," she says, uncorking it with surprising ease. "That's suitable for duck."
  
  She goes around the table, picking up a goblet still full of wine. "What's the point in doing something --" throws the white wine onto the floor, "-- if you're not going to go all the way with it?" She fills the goblet and bangs it down onto the table, sloshing red, and the candelabra sways a bit. The light in the room sways too.
  
  > drink the wine
  (the bottle of white wine)
  A good thief doesn't get high on his own supply.
  
  "The rules are the least interesting part of this," Erik snaps back. "You always take things too far."
  
  The dreadlocked man gulps down his white and holds it up for Paula, who overfills it. "Whoops, I guess I do. I guess it's why you kicked me out of the freak clique, huh?"
  
  > take the bottle
  (the bottle of white wine)
  
  Taken.
  
  "Look, Paul," started Erik, his voice tired and sad. "I--"
  
  "It's Paula, you stupid fuck!" She throws the bottle at him,
  and the last thing you see before you leave the room is the candelabra falling onto the tablecloth.
  
  In a rush you see the birds on the wallpaper, the front door still open, the flattened grass in front of you and before too long, you're back in your bedroom. You take off your clothes, trying to decide if they smell of smoke or just of guilt.
  
  You're in your bed when the fire sirens start to wail and the flames are becoming visible on the Manor. It's sad, but when you consider that the Manor was otherwise facing crowbars and rough hands and wrecking balls in the morning... better a funeral pyre.
  
  ***
  
  A week, two weeks, three weeks pass. You use your nights for sleeping, not sneaking. Your modem neither winks or squeals. And no one in the Guild squeals either, since the knock on your door never comes. When Ryan tells you something funny Harry said online yesterday, you realize -- if even Ryan is sticking his head up -- that the smoke has cleared.
  
  You decide to LOGIN again.
  
  > show the wine to Chris
  (the bottle of white wine to Chris the Paladin)
  For some reason, this feels like a significant choice. Any of your friends would like the wine. Are you sure? (Y/N)
  
  > Go north
  You reconsider.
  
  "Here: COPS DON'T SUSPECT ARSON" says Harry.
  
  Maximus lifts his staff and Harry vanishes.
  
  Paula rolls her eyes.
  
  "Long time no see" says Chris.
  
  > Y.
  "Well well," whispers Chris. "Quite a score, thief." You arrange to meet tonight.
  
  ***Chris the Paladin has joined your party.***
  
  Type LOGOUT to continue.
  
  > Logout
  ***DISCONNECTED***
  
  You start smelling the burned Manor from the forest. Guilt and excitement compete in your belly as you emerge...
  
  The ring of brush is blackened. The Manor's roof is caved in, beaten to its knees by the firehose water. They must have gotten here quickly as there's good chunks of the eastern wing that are mostly intact.
  
  The portico is wrapped in that yellow police tape that you've only seen in cop shows.
  
  To the northeast is the coachhouse, tonight's rendezvous spot.
  
  > Go northeast
  The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north.
  
  The small structure seems to have far enough away to have been spared the fire.
  
  > go north
  There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. The moonlight gives everything an unearthly hue.
  
  Chris isn't here.
  
  You look up at the moon through the roof, feeling like a jackass.
  
  When you turn to leave, you see her framed in the doorway, grinning. "Had to make sure this wasn't a set up."
  
  She sits down on a wooden crate and pulls tumblers out of her duffel bag. She smells them first before sticking them out. "Wine me!"
  
  Later that night, drunk, she chews you out for not including her in your scheme to burn down the Manor. You explain that it wasn't a scheme, that you would never not include her in schemes, and she makes you pinky promise... and then pinky wrestle, then the kissing, and the rubbing, and then the puking puts an end to that.
  
  But it's only the beginning of your scheming together. After a particularly successful scheme eight years later, the two of you lie in a bed with a view of the Mediterranean, tracing the route of what got you there from your...
  
  Click here to play again.
  debugcheapnitfol quit with exit status: 0
  
  ***You have connected to THE GUILD BBS*** Type LOGIN to enter the Adventurers' Lounge
  
  > Skipthru
  There are six people around the large table, the guys from yesterday plus a couple more. The guy with the strange bangs and suit jacket is at the head of the table beside a goth girl who's too beautiful to look at directly. The table is laid out beautifully, a candelabra melting onto the white tablecloth, chipped plates trimmed with gold.
  
  Paula sits down at an empty chair and seats you beside her. There's no plate, but she reaches across the table and wrenches a drumstick from the bird.
  
  > look at the girl
  Which do you mean, the goth girl or the thin tattooed girl?
  
  > Goth
  Black lipstick and eyeshadow is all you get before you have to avert your eyes. She's definitely not from your school, or any school that you can imagine. Beside her is a dreadlocked guy with a large beard, picking his teeth with a bone.
  
  "Um... hi," says the fellow in the suit jacket. Everyone's staring at Paula as she gnaws the drumstick, and you will yourself invisible.
  
  She points the drumstick at him and you see a drop of grease fall onto the tablecloth. "You stole my idea, Erik. And then you didn't even invite me."
  
  > examine the thin girl
  Feathered short hair with bird-like nervous movements to match, but you don't know if it's Paula-inspired.
  
  "Well, I would say it was our idea," says Erik.
  
  Paula reaches over and takes the closest goblet. Its bespectacled owner pretends he doesn't notice. She takes a sip and then spits it out, luckily away from you. "A white? With duck, Erik?"
  
  Erik grimaces. "They were out of--"
  
  He stops suddenly, seeing Max in the doorway with a bottle of wine in each hand.
  
  > ask Erik about Manor
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  "Ah -- a pinot noir," she says, uncorking it with surprising ease. "That's suitable for duck."
  
  She goes around the table, picking up a goblet still full of wine. "What's the point in doing something --" throws the white wine onto the floor, "-- if you're not going to go all the way with it?" She fills the goblet and bangs it down onto the table, sloshing red, and the candelabra sways a bit. The light in the room sways too.
  
  > take the wine
  (the bottle of white wine)
  
  Taken.
  
  "The rules are the least interesting part of this," Erik snaps back. "You always take things too far."
  
  The dreadlocked man gulps down his white and holds it up for Paula, who overfills it. "Whoops, I guess I do. I guess it's why you kicked me out of the freak clique, huh?"
  
  > wait
  Time passes.
  
  "Look, Paul," started Erik, his voice tired and sad. "I--"
  
  "It's Paula, you stupid fuck!" She throws the bottle at him,
  and the last thing you see before you leave the room is the candelabra falling onto the tablecloth.
  
  In a rush you see the birds on the wallpaper, the front door still open, the flattened grass in front of you and before too long, you're back in your bedroom. You take off your clothes, trying to decide if they smell of smoke or just of guilt.
  
  You're in your bed when the fire sirens start to wail and the flames are becoming visible on the Manor. It's sad, but when you consider that the Manor was otherwise facing crowbars and rough hands and wrecking balls in the morning... better a funeral pyre.
  
  ***
  
  A week, two weeks, three weeks pass. You use your nights for sleeping, not sneaking. Your modem neither winks or squeals. And no one in the Guild squeals either, since the knock on your door never comes. When Ryan tells you something funny Harry said online yesterday, you realize -- if even Ryan is sticking his head up -- that the smoke has cleared.
  
  You decide to LOGIN again.
  
  > give the wine to Paula
  (the bottle of white wine to Paula the Mage)
  For some reason, this feels like a significant choice. Any of your friends would like the wine. Are you sure? (Y/N)
  
  > Y.
  "Ah, wondered what happened to that," Paula whispers. You arrange to meet tonight.
  
  ***Paula the Mage has joined your party.***
  
  Type LOGOUT to continue.
  
  > Logout
  ***DISCONNECTED***
  
  You start smelling the burned Manor from the forest. Guilt and excitement compete in your belly as you emerge...
  
  The ring of brush is blackened. The Manor's roof is caved in, beaten to its knees by the firehose water. They must have gotten here quickly as there's good chunks of the eastern wing that are mostly intact.
  
  The portico is wrapped in that yellow police tape that you've only seen in cop shows.
  
  To the northeast is the coachhouse, tonight's rendezvous spot.
  
  > Go northeast
  The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north.
  
  The small structure seems to have far enough away to have been spared the fire.
  
  > Go north
  There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. The moonlight gives everything an unearthly hue.
  
  You can see Paula the Mage here.
  
  Paula is sitting cross-legged on a wooden crate, looking up at the moonlight. She's not wearing her makeup today, and you can get a sense of how she looked when she was Paul.
  
  She stretches out her hand for the wine. "Well, c'mon, let's see if it was worth burning a house down for."
  
  That night you hear the whole history of the Freak Clique. The baffling pyrotechnics you witnessed in the dining room was the tip of the iceberg, the final scene in a complex teenaged drama -- a type that you never want to star in.
  
  But by the end of the story you decide that Paula is one of the weirdest people you've ever met, and so of course she becomes one of your best friends.
  
  Twenty years later, she throws you a crazy bachelor party which ends, as always, with the two of you in your cups reminiscing about your...
  
  Click here to play again.