text: [Themes: Humor]
  
  > look around
  Dark corner (SE corner) (on the chair)
  The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.
  
  Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
  
  > stand
  You get off the chair.
  
  Dark corner (SE corner)
  The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.
  
  Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
  
  > go west
  Entrance (southern side)
  This is where you enter and leave the club.
  
  A bouncer is standing next to the door with his arms crossed.
  
  You spot a thermostat mounted on the wall next to the doors.
  
  > go northwest
  (In addition to using the compass directions you can move around the club by simply typing the name of the location where you want to go, or a name of a person in the location. You can also see the list of all locations by commanding MAP.)
  
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  A dubious-looking guy is leaning on the counter.
  
  > look at thermostat
  The thermostat has only two settings: warm and cool. It's currently in the "cool" position.
  
  > set the thermostat to warm
  "Hey! Keep your hands off that!" the bouncer shouts. "With this amount of people here they would sweat their clothes off if the air conditioning wouldn't keep them cooled!"
  
  > hit the bouncer
  Probably not a good idea. He's scrawny for a bouncer, but you're no muscleman either.
  
  > Go west
  (In addition to using the compass directions you can move around the club by simply typing the name of the location where you want to go, or a name of a person in the location. You can also see the list of all locations by commanding MAP.)
  
  Arcade corner (SW corner)
  In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.
  
  Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.
  
  There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
  
  > examine the plant
  It's possibly some sort of small palm tree, creating atmosphere.
  
  > look at Vincent
  Vincent is a bully. There's nothing that makes him happier than beating up people, and that's the only thing he's good at.
  
  > talk to Vincent
  There's really nothing to discuss with Vincent. It's a small miracle he can form even basic sentences.
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so fat she weighs a lot."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  Good ol' Vincent. No matter how lame the insult, you can count on him getting agitated.
  
  ?
  
  > talk to Vincent
  Better not use that many words. Anything above one word is probably too much for Vincent's pea-brain to understand.
  
  ?
  
  > examine the arcade
  "You're just joking, right?" he says and shoves you off before turning to the arcade machine again.
  
  You recognize some of the names: Bubble Bobble, Pong, Zork, Tetris. Really old stuff. Vincent is fervously bashing the keys of something called 'Escapade!'.
  
  > Bouncer
  (To interact with people you can TALK TO them, INSULT them or SHOW things to them.)
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so fat she has a lot of weight."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  ?
  
  > Gus
  "I don' believe ya, punk. Gus and I are friends, he wouln' say that 'bout my momma."
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so stupid that she's dumb."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  ?
  
  > Bouncer
  Vincent looks like he's thinking hard, even though that's unlikely. "I can't go beatin' the staff. They would kick me out and I couldn't finish my game," he concludes and lets you go.
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so ugly that people say she doesn't look good."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  ?
  
  > Joe
  "Who? I don' know 'im. Yer just yankin' my leg," he says and drops you down.
  
  > Go north
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  A dubious-looking guy is leaning on the counter.
  
  > examine dubious
  The dubious-looking guy is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
  
  The guy notices you looking at him and flashes a bleached smile.
  
  "Well hello there sparkly-eyes!" the guy says. "My name is Sleazeball McDouchebag, but you can call me Sleaze."
  
  (That's not what he actually says, but that's what your brain hears.)
  
  > Insult Sleaze
  "Ooh, I love it when women talk dirty! Let me have it, girl!"
  
  > buy the drink
  Which do you mean, the cola, the tonic, the gin, the wine, the beer, or the vodka?
  
  > hit him
  *slap*
  
  "Ooh, feisty! Show me your claws, tiger girl!"
  
  > buy the vodka
  You don't have any money. Besides it's very hard to get a drink without papers here.
  
  > talk to the barkeep
  "Sorry, too busy to chat," the barkeep says and moves on to the next customer.
  
  > read poster
  "Watch out! Don't leave your drink unguarded!" It has a picture of a boogey man dropping a skull-marked pill into a cocktail glass.
  
  > talk to the guy
  (the Sleaze)
  "How old are you, angelface?"
  
  "Sevent--"
  
  "Twenty-one, eh? Perfect." He pulls mouthspray from his pocket and squirts it five or six times in his mouth.
  
  > Dance
  You bust a few moves.
  
  > Go north
  VIP lounge (NW corner)
  The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.
  
  A guard is making sure no-one without a pass gets in.
  
  Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
  
  > look at Britney
  Britney and Gus are a perfect match. He's full of hot air and her head is full of air. She sits there in her tiny tiny skirt and top looking like a circus clown in her face plastered with makeup.
  
  > talk to Britney
  "Ma'am, this area is off limits for anyone without a VIP pass," the guard says when you try to approach Britney.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You're wearing your street clothes and a track jacket.
  
  > talk to the guard
  "On duty. Can't talk," the guard says bluntly.
  
  > look at the jacket
  The track jacket is the latest craze. Everybody who's somebody has to have one. It's way oversized, just like it should be.
  
  > examine the street clothes
  You express your individuality by wearing baggy hip-hop clothes, just like everyone else.
  
  > go east
  When you feel you're ready to challenge Gus again you can CLIMB ON STAGE.
  
  > Go southeast
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
  
  > look at Norbert
  Norbert is, to be blunt, a nerd. He's swaying there in his striped collar shirt, just too short pants and glasses with lenses thicher than his legs. What he's doing here is anybody's guess.
  
  > Insult norbert
  "Yo momma's so fat and stupid!"
  
  "El oh el! I see what you did there!"
  
  If you can't taunt even Norbert, you're really in a big trouble.
  
  > Go west
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  > Arcade
  Arcade corner (SW corner)
  In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.
  
  Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.
  
  There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so poor she doesn't have any money."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  ?
  
  > Norbert
  "That pencilneck? He'll eat through a straw for a month," Vincent says and storms to the dance floor.
  
  He goes straight to Norbert, exchanges a few words and starts to slap him around. The bouncer sees this and leaves his post to cool things down.
  
  > Entrance
  Entrance (southern side)
  This is where you enter and leave the club.
  
  You spot a thermostat mounted on the wall next to the doors.
  
  > set the thermostat to warm
  You turn the thermostat to "warm".
  
  > Go northeast
  Hall of Fame (eastern side)
  Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.
  
  Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.
  
  An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
  
  > look at Ralph
  Ralph is one of those dungbeetles who cling onto Gus for hopes that his fame would somehow rub off and transfer onto them. He must have some task, otherwise he wouldn't be so far away from his hero.
  
  Looks like the commotion on the dance floor is dying down.
  
  > talk to Ralph
  "What's going on, Ralph?"
  
  "Get lost, squirt. There's nothing here for you," he says.
  
  > examine the satchel
  You recognize Gus's satchel. Or man-purse, as you like to call it.
  
  > open the satchel
  "Hey, you little twerp! Get away from Gus's bag!" Ralph shouts.
  
  > examine the jukebox
  The jukebox looks like a retro vinyl player but under the hood it plays MP3s like everything else. The machine controls all the music playing in the club, so when somebody chooses a new song, the whole club has to listen to that.
  
  The buttons are labeled "rap", "r&b", "jazz", "rock", "techno", and something that has most of the letters scraped off, leaving only "ass". The button labeled "rap" is currently selected.
  
  The jukebox is operated by inserting coins into the slot.
  
  > press the ass
  The button refuses to budge. The machine must require a coin to be inserted first.
  
  > look under jukebox
  (searching the jukebox)
  On the back side of the jukebox you find a knob.
  
  > look at the knob
  The knob is apparently for adjusting the volume of the music being played. It can be set to low, medium or high. At the moment it's set on medium.
  
  > turn the knob to high
  You turn the music up.
  
  > listen
  Some rap is playing at ear-pearcing volume.
  
  > Search machines
  You scoop up a good handful of coins from the coin return slots of the machines. Good thing Vincent is not brainy enough to collect his rejected coins.
  
  > Hall of Fame
  Hall of Fame (eastern side)
  Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.
  
  Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.
  
  An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a handful of coins, and wearing your street clothes and a track jacket.
  
  > examine the coins
  You have a handful of coins, straight from the depths of a sofa.
  
  > put the coin in the jukebox
  The coin tumbles inside the machine.
  
  > press the ass
  You push the "ass" button and a smoothing classical symphony starts playing. The "rap" button pops back up.
  
  "What the... Who changed the music?" Ralph shouts and gets up the chair. "Get away from the jukebox, you twerp!"
  
  > take the satchel
  Ralph would notice you walking away with the bag.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  > open satchel
  You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  "Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes.
  
  > press the ass
  You push the "classical" button and a smoothing classical symphony starts playing. The "jazz" button pops back up.
  
  "What the... Who changed the music?" Ralph shouts and gets up the chair. "Get away from the jukebox, you twerp!"
  
  > search the satchel
  You can't see inside, since the satchel is closed.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  > turn the knob to the quiet
  The knob doesn't have that setting.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  > examine the knob
  The knob is apparently for adjusting the volume of the music being played. It can be set to low, medium or high. At the moment it's set on high.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  > examine rap button
  The button is labeled "rap".
  
  > take the rap button
  That seems to be a part of the jukebox controls.
  
  > set knob to low
  You turn the music down.
  
  > open satchel
  You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  "Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
  
  > Go north
  Artist hangout (NE corner)
  The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.
  
  Gus stands here chatting with his posse.
  
  A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.
  
  "Man, it's really hot in here, dontcha think?" Gus says. His posse nods in unison, competing who can agree most with him. Assflies. He takes his sweater off and hangs it on the back of a nearby chair.
  
  > examine the posse
  When you're famous, you get all kinds of mindless drones following you around doing nothing but sucking up to you. It's so lame and childish. And so unfair that you don't have a posse. Yet.
  
  > look at the sweater
  It's Gus's hooded blue sweater with white decorations. A tag is sewn to it.
  
  For some reason a thought that the tag is somehow important crosses your mind.
  
  > look at the tag
  It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.
  
  > take the tag
  It's sewn tightly to the sweater.
  
  > take the sweater
  Taken.
  
  > Floor
  One of Gus's goons sees you leave and points at you. Gus turns around and sees you with his sweater. "Hey, whatcha think you're doing? That's my shirt, come back with it!" he shouts.