text: [Themes: Science Fiction, robots, meta, violence, humor, dogs, nonhuman protagonist, female protagonist]
  
  > Look around
  Where the heavy drapes meet, a sliver of sunlight shines into the otherwise dark living room. A framed picture hangs on the living room wall in the small area illuminated by the shaft of light.
  
  OPERATIONS -> STATUS : TRUE
  
  > open the drapes
  You push aside the drapes.
  
  You are in the living room of a small cottage. Piped-in sunlight pours in through the room's single window, illuminating a framed picture on the opposite wall. The principal furnishing is a king-size purple futon which takes up almost all the floor space. From the living room you can see the entrance to the kitchen and bathroom. The cottage's front door is closed.
  
  On the purple futon is an alarm clock.
  
  You can also see Rover here.
  
  SOLAR SHIELD -> ACCESS : TRUE
  
  > examine the clock
  It's a cheap, white plastic alarm clock with fading green LEDs that read 5:34 am. A large button juts out of the top.
  
  TEMPORAL TRANSGRESSOR -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > look at the button
  Mounted almost flush with the top of the clock, you can barely make out the dimly illuminated word "snoo".
  
  David: You could use a new alarm clock.
  Janet: You could increase my salary.
  
  MF TOGGLE -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > ask the clock about itself
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  > hit the clock
  Violence isn't the answer to this one.
  
  TEMPORAL TRANSGRESSOR -> OFFENSE MODE : NIL
  
  > fold up the futon
  With a little effort, the futon folds up, snug against the wall, leaving more room to walk around the cramped cottage.
  
  CASIMIR DRIVE -> RETRACT : TRUE
  
  > examine picture
  A picture of the Starship Valkyrie, still under construction in drydock. There is small brass nameplate below the picture.
  
  DEEP MEMORY -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > go to the bathroom
  Your cottage's living room is palatial compared to your bathroom. There is a pink marble counter and above it you've mounted a mirror on the wall. To the right of the mirror is a black glass plate. Between the counter and the shower is a white, porcelain toilet.
  
  On the marble counter are a plastic box and a toothbrush.
  
  Janet: Let's hope the simulation doesn't crash again. I'd
  really like to run it all the way through to the Rover
  release.
  David: It's looked good this far.
  
  FLIGHT CONTROL -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover scratching something.
  
  > take the toothbrush
  Taken.
  
  PIT SCRUBBER -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  > Brush teeth
  The toothbrush sprays each tooth with a fizzy foam, vibrates it into lather and rinses. Your teeth feel smooth and your breath is much improved.
  
  HULL PLATING -> SPAWN SCRUBBERS : TRUE
  
  > put the brush on the counter
  You put the toothbrush on the marble counter.
  
  PIT SCRUBBER -> TRANSFER : TRUE
  
  > floss the teeth
  You floss your teeth and then swallow the tasty (and nutritious) floss. You feel so much better now.
  
  HULL PLATING -> LINK NODES : TRUE
  
  > look at the mirror
  The mirror is covered with condensation.
  
  INSPECTOR -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover sniffing something.
  
  > Clean mirror
  You wipe away the condensation and can see yourself in the mirror. INSPECTOR -> NEUTRALIZE CHARGE : TRUE
  
  > examine the mirror
  You see yourself in the mirror: a young woman with dark brown hair, high cheekbones and a look of determination.
  
  INSPECTOR -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover running in circles.
  
  > remove the suit
  You take off your blue flight suit and it falls to the bathroom floor. You are naked.
  
  David: That mole should be on your left side.
  Janet: Good eye for detail -- I'll flip the UV coordinates
  on the next run.
  
  QUANTUM ISOLATOR -> DISENGAGE : TRUE
  
  > examine the suit
  It is a loose-fitting blue flight suit with a MARSpace insignia. Some letters are also sewn above the insignia.
  
  QUANTUM ISOLATOR -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover snoring loudly.
  
  > read the insignia
  That's not something you can read.
  
  INSIGNIA -> READLINE : NIL
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover barking at something.
  
  > read the letters
  There are only three letters: "ACU".
  
  David: If the ACU knows what you know, why doesn't the ACU
  realize that it is the ACU? I mean, isn't that what
  you would suspect if you woke up in a flight suit
  labeled ACU?
  Janet: Cognitive constraints are implemented - the willing
  suspension of disbelief is a programmatic imperative.
  David: I love it when you use big words!
  Janet: You are a doofus, sir.
  
  127.0.0.1 -> READLINE : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover doing whatever it is he does when he's not out for walkies and he thinks he's out of your sight.
  
  > enter the shower
  The plastic box almost makes it out of the bathroom, but you remember to set it down before stepping out.
  
  You are in your shower and water of just the right temperature is spraying down on you. Two buttons are molded into the wall of the shower stall. One is labeled "soap", and the other, "shampoo".
  
  EXTRUDER -> ACTIVATE : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover walking about.
  
  > remember the tommygoffs
  That doesn't ring a bell.
  
  ACU -> DATA_FETCH : NIL
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover sniffing something.
  
  > Sing
  You quietly sing a short song that Tomasz had taught you. The song is about a lonely colony ship engineer who pines for his sweetheart back on Earth.
  
  ACU -> DUMP : TRUE
  
  > remember Tomasz
  Tomasz was your fianc? five years ago. You had planned to get married on Mons Olympus and to honeymoon at Club Meridian on the equator.
  
  ACU -> DATA_FETCH : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover scratching something.
  
  > touch yourself
  You feel normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.
  
  ACU -> UPDATE : TRUE
  
  > Go outside
  Your cottage's living room is palatial compared to your bathroom. There is a pink marble counter and above it you've mounted a mirror on the wall. To the right of the mirror is a black glass plate. Between the counter and the shower is a white, porcelain toilet.
  
  On the marble counter are a plastic box and a toothbrush.
  
  You can also see a flight suit here.
  
  ACU -> DESELECT : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover chewing something.
  
  > examine the toilet
  A plain vanilla toilet, having a water tank and bowl. Nothing to write home about. Someone left both the cover and seat up. How rude.
  
  A plunger stands next to the toilet, between it and the shower.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover dragging something around.
  
  > look at the plunger
  A common plumber's plunger, consisting of a wooden shaft and red rubber cup. Something about the plunger just doesn't look proper. The handle of the plunger is tilted a little bit backwards. Furthermore, its handle is twisted a little bit clockwise.
  
  ATTITUDE CONTROL -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > use toilet
  You're willing to hold it until you can sit down properly on a toilet seat, thank you very much.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> TOGGLE : NIL
  
  > sit on the toilet
  Sitting on the ceramic rim of the toilet bowl would be absolutely too gross to contemplate.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> ACTIVATE : NIL
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover walking about.
  
  > Lower seat
  You lower the toilet seat into position.
  
  PRESSURE SEATING -> DEACCESS : NIL
  
  > sit on the seat
  You sit on the toilet seat.
  
  PRESSURE SEATING -> ACTIVATE : TRUE
  
  > use the toilet
  You don't need to go right now; check the list on the fridge.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> TOGGLE : NIL
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover entertaining himself.
  
  > stand
  You stand up again.
  
  ACU -> DEACTIVATE : TRUE
  
  > take suit
  Taken.
  
  QUANTUM ISOLATOR -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  > wear it
  You put on the flight suit.
  
  QUANTUM ISOLATOR -> ENGAGE : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover snoring loudly.
  
  > go to the kitchen
  The kitchen is small but functional, with a space-saver refrigerator and a glass-top electric range. There is a drawer under the range. On the opposite wall there is a sink and under it, a storage cabinet.
  
  You can see a food bowl (empty) and a water bowl (empty) here.
  
  David: Where are your coffee machine and toaster?
  Janet: I mapped the ship functions to the minimum number
  of objects. More objects means more ways for things
  to go wrong and more time debugging. Call me lazy.
  David: Lazy.
  Janet: You don't know the crazy things the ACU does! Sometimes
  it walks around trying to eat or take everything in
  sight. Sometimes it sings and jumps around. It's based
  on my neural bindings, but the ACU definitely has
  a mind of its own, and I don't want to have to worry
  about what it might try do with a toaster.
  
  ENGINEERING -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  > take the water bowl
  Taken.
  
  COOLANT RESERVOIR -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover growling at something.
  
  > put the water in it
  (the sink in the water bowl)
  You run the sink briefly to make sure the water is cold, and then fill Rover's bowl about halfway up.
  
  Rover wanders into the kitchen when he hears water splashing into his bowl.
  
  COOLANT OUTPUT TERMINUS -> TRANSFER : TRUE
  
  Rover outright gapes at the bowl you carry, then gently sniffs it in hope that you'll give it to him.
  
  > drop it
  You weren't holding the sink to begin with.
  
  COOLANT OUTPUT TERMINUS -> DESELECT : NIL
  
  Rover outright gapes at the bowl you carry, then gently sniffs it in hope that you'll give it to him.
  
  > drop the bowl
  COOLANT RESERVOIR -> DESELECT : TRUE
  
  Rover narrows his eyes critically, noting the lack of food in his food bowl. His stomach rumbles with hunger.
  
  Rover must have been thirsty. One moment the water bowl is full; the next, it's bone dry.
  
  > take the food bowl
  Taken.
  
  FUEL RESERVOIR -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  Rover is obviously waiting for you to give him a bowl.
  
  > open the cabinet
  You open the cabinet, revealing a reward nugget replicator and a 20 kilo bag of dog chow.
  
  FUEL STORAGE VAULT -> ACCESS : TRUE
  
  Rover stares longingly at the bowl in your hand.
  
  > take the chow
  Taken.
  
  FUEL CONDUIT -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  Rover tingles with anticipation as he stares at the bowl you're carrying.
  
  > pour the chow into the food bowl
  You  empty the bag of dog chow into Rover's bowl, giving him a generous portion that should more than carry him through a day's worth of Rover antics.
  
  Rover watches with interest as you fill his food bowl.
  
  FUEL CONDUIT -> TRANSFER : TRUE
  
  Rover stares longingly at the bowl in your hand.
  
  > drop the food bowl
  FUEL RESERVOIR -> DESELECT : TRUE
  
  Rover's head disappears into the food bowl. It is hard to believe that the sounds generated are coming from a dog rather than some sort of industrial mining rig. When his head lifts, the bowl is not only empty but has been buffed to a mirror finish.
  
  > take replicator
  A dog treat rattles around in the replicator as you pick it up. Rover stares at the box of treats, successfully suppressing the urge to drool. For the moment.
  
  TOKEN DISPENSER -> SELECT : NIL
  
  > Close cabinet
  You close the cabinet.
  
  FUEL STORAGE VAULT -> DEACCESS : TRUE
  
  > close the drawer
  You close the drawer.
  
  REACTOR CORE -> DEACCESS : TRUE
  
  Rover exhales with contentment and rolls over, legs outstretched.
  
  > put the pan on the range
  You put the frying pan on the the cooking range.
  
  MAGNETIC BOTTLE -> TRANSFER : TRUE
  
  > open the fridge
  Rover looks up when he hears the old fridge open. He sniffs the fridge door and decides there is nothing in the fridge worth getting in trouble over. He saunters out of the kitchen and back towards the living room.
  
  CRYOCHAMBER -> ACCESS : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover breathing quietly (quietly for Rover, who is a heavy breather).
  
  > look in the fridge
  You poke around in the fridge and find a white egg.
  
  CRYOCHAMBER -> MANIFEST : TRUE
  
  > take the egg
  Taken.
  
  HEAVY HELIUM SPHERE -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  > close the fridge
  You close the old fridge.
  
  CRYOCHAMBER -> DEACCESS : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover barking at something.
  
  > put the egg in the pan
  You put the white egg into the frying pan.
  
  HEAVY HELIUM SPHERE -> TRANSFER : NIL
  
  > fry the egg
  You crack the egg into the frying pan. The neoegg shell sublimates as the contents spread over the pan's non-stick surface. Immediately, the surface of the range glows red. When the egg is cooked sunny-side up to perfection, the glow fades.
  
  Janet: If there were some heavy helium left after landing,
  could the ship take off again?
  David: Hypothetically, yes, but the planet has essentially
  no atmosphere to break against and it has about nine
  times Earth gravity. Even with optimal approach we'll
  have to fuse every gram of that heavy helium to make
  a soft landing.
  Janet: I just hate to leave the ship there. It could take
  years before our next Casimir ship will be built,
  and who knows if Valkyrie will survive that long on
  that chthonian rock.
  David: Nice word. From MARSpace perspective, all that matters
  is that the probe data are recovered.
  
  HEAVY HELIUM SPHERE -> FUSE : TRUE
  
  > examine the egg
  A perfectly fried egg: The yellow yolk lies at the geometric center of a white disc, like the star at the center of a nascent system. The yolk is just a notch short of congealing, and the white is neither runny nor burnt. Another culinary success.
  
  HEAVY HELIUM SPHERE -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > eat the egg
  You gobble down what might well have been the best neoegg you've ever had.
  
  David: Wait a minute! She just scoops the egg out of the
  pan with her hand and eats it like a grizzly bear
  raking salmon out of a river?
  Janet: Works for me, yeah.
  David: How about a plate and fork?
  Janet: The ACU doesn't miss them, and it's less programming
  overhead. And bonus: fewer dishes to clean.
  
  HEAVY HELIUM SPHERE -> RECYCLE : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover doing whatever it is he does when he's not out for walkies and he thinks he's out of your sight.
  
  > look at the list
  It is a to-do list, in your own writing.
  
  TASK MANAGER -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > read the list
  Morning:
  X. Get up
  X. Shower
  X. Breakfast
  4. Take care of business
  5. Let Rover go walkies
  
  TASK MANAGER -> READLINE : TRUE
  
  From the direction of the living room, you hear Rover running in circles.
  
  > go to the bathroom
  It took a lot of training to get Rover to eat it in the kitchen, so rather than walk out with a bag of dog food, you put it back in the cabinet.
  
  Your cottage's living room is palatial compared to your bathroom. There is a pink marble counter and above it you've mounted a mirror on the wall. To the right of the mirror is a black glass plate. Between the counter and the shower is a white, porcelain toilet.
  
  On the marble counter are a plastic box and a toothbrush.
  
  Rover trundles along behind you, his attention riveted to the reward nugget replicator.
  
  Janet: So now we begin the landing cycle. This is where the
  ACU really shines.
  David: What about timing? The ship has to be in the right
  orientation to fire the fusion thrusters at exactly
  the right time.
  Janet: The ACU works so fast that no matter how many individual
  steps it takes, the effect occurs at the right time.
  
  FLIGHT CONTROL -> SELECT : TRUE
  
  > Lower seat
  The toilet seat is already down.
  
  PRESSURE SEATING -> DEACCESS : NIL
  
  > remove the suit
  You take off your blue flight suit and it falls to the bathroom floor. You are naked.
  
  QUANTUM ISOLATOR -> DISENGAGE : TRUE
  
  > sit on the toilet
  You sit on the toilet seat.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> ACTIVATE : TRUE
  
  > use the toilet
  You complete your business with great aplomb.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> TOGGLE : TRUE
  
  > stand
  You stand up again, although you are uncomfortably aware that you have left some, shall we say, "unresolved" business behind you.
  
  ACU -> DEACTIVATE : TRUE
  
  > wear the suit
  (first taking the flight suit)
  You put on the flight suit.
  
  QUANTUM ISOLATOR -> ENGAGE : TRUE
  
  Rover sniffs the toilet bowl.
  
  > look at the bowl
  The white porcelain bowl is the bottom part of the toilet. The toilet seat is down, but the cover is raised.
  
  REACTION CHAMBER -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > Close seat
  The toilet seat is already down.
  
  PRESSURE SEATING -> DEACCESS : NIL
  
  > Close cover
  You lower the toilet cover into position.
  
  REACTANT SHIELD -> DEACCESS : NIL
  
  > Flush toilet
  You are distracted momentarily. Something just isn't right in the bathroom.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> THRUST : NIL
  
  > check your hair
  Yet another part of your anatomy.
  
  SUBSYSTEMS -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  > look at the plunger
  A common plumber's plunger, consisting of a wooden shaft and red rubber cup. Something about the plunger just doesn't look proper. The handle of the plunger is tilted a little bit backwards. Furthermore, its handle is twisted a little bit clockwise.
  
  ATTITUDE CONTROL -> DIAGNOSTIC : TRUE
  
  Rover walks towards the toilet bowl.
  
  > take it
  Since the day Tomasz jammed the plunger down on the bathroom floor, it has been stuck there like a barbed harpoon in the side of a great whale. Well, maybe more like a giant squid wrapped around an unfortunate whale, since squids have (you have heard) suckers. Some kind of weird interaction between the rubber cup and the micropores in the floor have effectively bonded the plunger to the floor, and any attempt to remove it would probably destroy one or the other. The plunger doesn't really bother you, and most of the time you just ignore it.
  
  ATTITUDE CONTROL -> SELECT : NIL
  
  Rover dashes back and forth like a possessed dog for no apparent reason.
  
  > pull the plunger
  It's stuck to the floor. On the other hand, if you want to push it in a particular direction, just say so.
  
  ATTITUDE CONTROL -> TRACTOR FIELD : NIL
  
  > turn plunger
  It is fixed in place.
  
  ATTITUDE CONTROL -> REORIENT : NIL
  
  > turn the handle counterclockwise
  You adjust the plunger handle counterclockwise. Certainly, a step in the right direction.
  
  Something about the plunger just doesn't look proper. The handle of the plunger is tilted a little bit backwards.
  
  YAW VECTOR -> VECTOR ADJUST : TRUE
  
  Rover lies down next to the bathroom sink.
  
  > Flush toilet
  The cottage's aging plumbing rumbles and vibrates as the toilet flushes.
  
  David: That's it. One long burn down to the planet's surface.
  David: And then, the ACU just needs to deploy the ROVER.
  
  Rover runs out of the bathroom, and you hear him jumping around near the front door.
  
  RETRO ASSEMBLY -> THRUST : TRUE