text: [Themes: Children's, Humor, Literary, fairy tale]
  
  > Look around
  I'm standing on the porch of the Three Bears' cottage. It would be quite pretty in a rustic sort of way had someone not seen fit to paint it gold. The front door has been wedged open. Just south of me is the clearing in the forest.
  A battered old dustbin sits to one side of the porch.
  
  I can also see a package (which is closed) here.
  
  > open the package
  I open the package, revealing an electric toaster and a leaflet.
  
  > get the toaster and leaflet
  electric toaster: Oh, so you want me to pick up the electric toaster now, on top of everything else? Fine! I'll just tuck it between my knees, shall I?
  leaflet: Oh, so you want me to pick up the leaflet now, on top of everything else? Fine! I'll just tuck it between my knees, shall I?
  
  > Examine watch
  It is about 9:17 AM.
  
  > Wear spectacles
  I put on the pair of very thick spectacles.
  
  > read the fine print
  Through the glasses I can actually read the microscopic print at the bottom of the page:
  'The Toast-O-Matic 3000 uses a small nuclear reactor for
  instantaneous toasting satisfaction. However, the unit still requires electricty to initiate the reaction. Under normal circumstances there is no danger of nuclear meltdown. Refer all servicing to a qualified nuclear physicist. The manufacturers take no responsiblity for injury or death resulting from the misuse of this product.'
  
  > Enter
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up
  
  > turn off the a.
  (switch A)
  Okay, Switch A is in the OFF position.
  The lights go off!
  
  > Inventory
  I am carrying:
  a leaflet
  an electric toaster
  a TV remote control
  an antimacassar
  an oil can
  a pair of very thick spectacles (being worn)
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug
  a pendant (providing light and being worn)
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > Examine tv
  Hmm... The TV's plugged in but the set is completely dead.
  
  > go outside
  I get off the large chair.
  
  From its floral carpet to its lovingly dusted knick-knacks, The Three Bears' sitting room is a chintzy abomination of taste, the sort of room that would make any sane bear want to go back and live in a cave. Two chairs are arranged around small coffee table; a large chair and a medium-sized chair. There used to be a tiny little chair but I'd rather not talk about it. There's a low-pitched hum coming from somewhere.
  
  On the small coffee table is a copy of 'Hail!' magazine.
  
  > turn on a
  (switch A)
  Okay, Switch A is in the ON position. Down in the cave the toaster elements heat up igniting the fuses on the sticks of dynamite...
  
  ...which explode causing a chain reaction...
  
  "KABOOOOM!!!"
  
  NUCLEAR EXPLOSION which rocks the whole cottage!
  
  > go west
  This must be where Papa Bear does all his D.I.Y. It's a small but tidy workshop with a bench and an old filing cabinet in the corner. Pinned to the walls are what appear to be the blueprints for various devices.
  
  On the bench are a wrench and a tin of gold paint.
  Sitting in the middle of the floor is a huge wooden crate, stencilled with the words: "DANGER: PROTOTYPE!"
  
  > look at the crate
  A mysterious wooden crate... Looks like Papa Bear does more in his workshop than simply assemble Ikea furniture. The huge wooden crate is nailed shut.
  
  > Examine watch
  It is about 9:49 AM.
  
  > examine the bench
  It's old and worn, splattered with paint and full of grooves and dents.
  
  > open the cabinet
  It seems to be locked.
  
  > Unlock cabinet
  What do you want to unlock the battered old filing cabinet with?
  
  > Open crate
  How? With my bare hands? I just got these nails done you know!
  
  > check your inventory
  I am carrying:
  a tin of gold paint
  a wrench
  a leaflet
  a TV remote control
  an antimacassar
  an oil can
  a pair of very thick spectacles (being worn)
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug
  a pendant (providing light and being worn)
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a trowel
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > remove the gloves
  I take off the pair of gardening gloves.
  
  > Go east
  The cave has been completely devastated by the explosion! Where the door used to be there is now a gaping hole in the western wall. The walls of the cave, melted by the intensive heat of my homemade atomic bomb are still glowing faintly. Of the television set there is no sign. The fridge is lying on its side, smoking slightly.
  
  > Go upwards
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door has been wedged open. Just inside the front door is an open trapdoor.
  
  I'm in the Three Bears' bedroom, a small attic room with steeply sloping walls. They have the weirdest sleeping arrangements. There's a tiny little bed, a medium-sized bed and a huge bed. A narrow staircase leads down to the hall.
  A tiny dormer window looks out onto the clearing.
  For some unaccountable reason, Sleeping Beauty is lying fast asleep on the tiny little bed.
  
  > examine the huge bed
  It's very large and very uncomfortable looking, and is covered by a single rather thin looking blanket. Is this guy some kind of masochist or what?
  
  > open the window with the wrench
  Taking the wrench in both hands, I give the catch a good sharp twist. The layers of ancient paint crack and flake off allowing me to open the window. As I do so, a tiny point of light zips into the room from outside! It whizzes two or three times around my head and then, with a sharp 'ping' transforms itself into a tiny little old lady with wings. 'Fear not, Cinderella!' She says, staggering slightly as she
  recovers from her exertions, 'I am your Fairy Godmother and you shall go to the... to the... oh, what was it now?' She looks up at me, bewildered. 'Who are you? Is it time for my medicine?'
  
  > give the pumpkin to Godmother
  (my Fairy Godmother)
  'Thankyou dear,' says my Fairy Godmother as I hand her the pumpkin. 'With a wave of my wand I shall transform this pumpkin into a lovely golden coach. Now let me see...' She takes out her wand and waves it over the pumpkin a couple of times, somewhat uncertainly. After a short time the pumpkin begins to swell as though someone were pumping it full of air. Then there is a soft, damp 'plop' as the pumpkin explodes, showering the two of us with orange goo.
  'Oh dear,' says my Fairy Godmother 'that wasn't quite right! Never mind, we'll have to make do without a coach. Perhaps you can ride one of the coach horses...'
  
  > give the mouse to Godmother
  (my Fairy Godmother)
  (first taking the dead mouse)
  'He's a jolly little chap, isn't he?' Says my Fairy Godmother as I hand over the dead mouse. With a wave of her magic wand she transforms it into a dead coach horse. She seems perfectly satisfied with this outcome. 'Now, child, that's the transport sorted out. Now for the other thing. What was it now...?'
  
  > Inventory
  I am carrying:
  a can of beer
  a tin of gold paint
  a wrench
  a leaflet
  a TV remote control
  an antimacassar
  an oil can
  a pair of very thick spectacles (being worn)
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug
  a pendant (providing light and being worn)
  a mousetrap (which is open but empty)
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a trowel
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > examine the horse
  It's as stiff as a board. One for the glue factory I'm afraid. And to think this noble beast died whilst trying to steal a peice of cheese.
  
  > give the dress to Godmother
  (my Fairy Godmother)
  My Fairy Godmother doesn't seem interested.
  
  > lie on the huge bed
  I lie down on the huge "bed" and try to get some sleep, but it's hopelessly uncomfortable. I'd have better luck sleeping on a flagpole.
  
  > stand
  I get off the huge bed.
  
  I'm in the Three Bears' bedroom, a small attic room with steeply sloping walls. They have the weirdest sleeping arrangements. There's a
  
  > look at bed
  tiny little bed, a medium-sized bed and a huge bed. A narrow staircase leads down to the hall.
  Lying in the middle of the floor with all four legs pointing heavenward is a dead coach horse.
  A tiny dormer window looks out onto the clearing.
  For some unaccountable reason, Sleeping Beauty is lying fast asleep on the tiny little bed.
  
  I can also see my Fairy Godmother here.
  
  Which do you mean, the huge bed, the medium-sized bed or the tiny little bed?
  
  > Huge
  It's very large and very uncomfortable looking, and is covered by a single rather thin looking blanket. Is this guy some kind of masochist or what?
  
  > get the blanket
  Wow! Now I understand why the huge bed felt so hard! What better way to conceal from your wife the fact that you've spent your family's entire annual porridge budget on a full sized snooker table than to give up your conjugal rights altogether and disguise it as a bed! Boy, could this couple use some marriage guidance!
  
  > paint the cue ball
  Okay, I painted the cue ball gold.
  
  > go outside
  I'm standing on the porch of the Three Bears' cottage. It would be quite pretty in a rustic sort of way had someone not seen fit to paint it gold. The front door has been wedged open. Just south of me is the clearing in the forest.
  A battered old dustbin sits to one side of the porch.
  
  I can also see a package (which is empty) here.
  
  > put Ball in the pond
  The ball lands in the pond with a dull plop. A few moments later a small green frog emerges from the pond clutching it in one of his slimy flippers. He drops it on the grass in front of me and puckers up expectantly...
  
  > Kiss frog
  Yeeeuch! Actually he's not a bad smoocher, I've never kissed anyone before with such a flexible tongue...
  Whoa! There was a flash of light and the frog just turned into a handsome prince!
  'Thanks, babe,' he says, looking me up and down, 'I'd love to hang around but I'm off to find me a real princess - I simply must have a date for the Royal Ball tonight. Maybe we can do lunch sometime!'
  He runs off towards the forest. I think I preferred him as a frog - less slimy!
  
  > Go upwards
  I'm in the Three Bears' bedroom, a small attic room with steeply sloping walls. They have the weirdest sleeping arrangements. There's a tiny little bed, a medium-sized bed and a full sized snooker table. A narrow staircase leads down to the hall.
  Lying in the middle of the floor with all four legs pointing heavenward is a dead coach horse.
  A tiny dormer window looks out onto the clearing.
  For some unaccountable reason, Sleeping Beauty is lying fast asleep on the tiny little bed.
  
  I can also see my Fairy Godmother here.
  
  > Kiss frog
  Yeeeuch! Actually he's not a bad smoocher, I've never kissed anyone before with such a flexible tongue...
  Whoa! There was a flash of light and the frog just turned into a handsome prince!
  'Thanks, babe,' he says, looking me up and down, 'I'd love to hang around but I'm off to find me a real princess - I simply must have a date for the Royal Ball tonight. Maybe we can do lunch sometime!' Suddenly he notices Sleeping Beauty sprawled across Baby Bear's
  bed. 'Now that's what I call a REAL princess!' A quick kiss wakes Beauty, and the happy couple are off to the cathedral. That's no basis for a lasting relationship!
  
  > Examine watch
  It is about 10:39 AM.
  
  > remove the dress
  Oh, yeah, sure. Look, I'm not that kind of girl, okay? Despite what people say.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  I am carrying:
  a rather thin blanket
  a can of beer
  a tin of gold paint
  a wrench
  a leaflet
  a TV remote control
  an antimacassar
  an oil can
  a pair of very thick spectacles (being worn)
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug
  a pendant (providing light and being worn)
  a mousetrap (which is open but empty)
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a trowel
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > give the blanket to Godmother
  (my Fairy Godmother)
  My Fairy Godmother doesn't seem interested.
  
  > ask Godmother about yourself
  (my Fairy Godmother about that)
  'Agnes, is that you? Oh, dear...'
  
  > examine Godmother
  (my Fairy Godmother)
  Okay, so technically she's Cinderella's Fairy Godmother, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. She's a tiny little woman who must be ninety years old if she's a day. She's wearing what I can only describe as a heavily sequined ballerina's outfit which looks hideously wrinkled on her shrivelled frame. Top this off with surgical support stockings and a pair of cardboard wings stuck on with sellotape, and you get the picture.
  My Fairy Godmother is carrying a magic wand.
  
  > Hint
  (1) How do I open the crate?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with Cinderella's Fairy Godmother?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > 3
  Pretend you're Cinderella.
  Another Hint? [Y/N]
  
  > Y.
  Give her what she wants!
  No more hints!
  
  (1) How do I open the crate?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with Cinderella's Fairy Godmother?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > 1
  You need a little leverage.
  No more hints!
  
  (1) How do I open the crate?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with Cinderella's Fairy Godmother?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > go west
  This must be where Papa Bear does all his D.I.Y. It's a small but tidy workshop with a bench and an old filing cabinet in the corner. Pinned to the walls are what appear to be the blueprints for various devices. Sitting in the middle of the floor is a huge wooden crate, stencilled with the words: "DANGER: PROTOTYPE!"
  
  > get the crate
  That's fixed in place.
  
  > examine the bench
  It's old and worn, splattered with paint and full of grooves and dents.
  
  > open it
  It seems to be locked.
  
  > Pry crate
  What do you want to pry the huge wooden crate with?
  
  > Leave
  I get off the large chair.
  
  From its floral carpet to its lovingly dusted knick-knacks, The Three Bears' sitting room is a chintzy abomination of taste, the sort of
  
  > Go south
  room that would make any sane bear want to go back and live in a cave. Two chairs are arranged around small coffee table; a large chair and a medium-sized chair. There used to be a tiny little chair but I'd rather not talk about it. There's a low-pitched hum coming from somewhere.
  
  On the small coffee table is a copy of 'Hail!' magazine.