text: [Themes: Western, humor, western]
  
  > Look around
  Jail Cell (on the stool)
  The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's office.
  
  Muddy leans against the wall.
  
  In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious to your presence.
  
  You can also see an empty can (in which is a spoon) here.
  
  A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the jail bars.
  
  On the machine is a cup (in which is some coffee).
  
  In the office you can also see Flash.
  
  > look at the can
  An open metal can labeled "BEANS". Unfortunately for Muddy, the can is empty. One end of a spoon sticks out of the can. On the back, some fine print says, "Precooked beans. No claim is made regarding the cardioprotective nature of this product. May cause abdominal distension if ingested. No fitness of purpose is implied. No warranty is provided for personal or other injury, or injury or loss related directly or indirectly to the use of this product. By opening this can, you agree to the terms of service posted in town."
  
  > take the spoon
  Fetched.
  
  > examine the spoon
  A bent old spoon.
  
  > examine the food bowl
  A beat-up mining pan full of dents and scratch marks. The bowl seems to be nailed  to the office floor.
  
  > throw the feather in the bowl
  Tobacco's the only thing worth chewing.
  
  You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food bowl.
  
  Pastor Pete shakes and twists spasmodically.
  
  > cut the feather with the spur
  That don't work none. What kind of crazy talk is you up to?
  
  > get hollow
  You yank the gray tube out of the stool's socket, lose your balance, topple backwards and plant your face smartly in the prison floor. Muddy looks away in embarrassment.
  
  > put the berry in the tube
  You drop the berry into the gray tube.
  
  A yellow-fringed surrey trots past the sheriff's office.
  
  > shoot the berry at the bell
  Your projectile ricochets off the bell with a metallic "ding!"
  
  Flash reflexively jumps towards his feeding bowl, pulling the lever and somehow causing the machine to rattle and buzz. Finding no food, the despondent dog returns to his favorite place in front of the boiler, shutting off the coffee machine.
  
  > examine the coffee
  Steaming hot, black joe.
  
  Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the furnace puffs some steam into the office.
  
  > put the berry in the tube
  You drop the berry into the gray tube.
  
  Muddy looks like he's about to have a great idea, but then goes back to staring at the floor.
  
  > shoot berry at the cup
  The berry splatters against the side of the cup, and its juice dribbles downwards.
  
  Muddy jumps up, claps you congratulatorily on the back, and you nearly swallow the metal tube still held to your lips.
  
  He beams, "That were a one in a million shot, Rick!" Muddy strokes his chin and wags a finger at the cup, "Now, if we can only get the deputy to come back and drink some coffee, he might be a whole lot more cooperative, I reckon."
  
  You sure like the way Muddy thinks.
  
  > remove the left boot
  Oh, you really don't want to do that. Not indoors at least. Are you sure?
  
  > Yes
  You rock back and forth on the floor, locked in a death struggle with your foot. Beads of sweat form on your head, as you struggle to twist and pull the boot off. With a sudden sucking pop, the boot relents and you tumble backwards.
  
  Muddy's eyes water as he complains, "Man, them feets of yours stinks powerful bad!"
  
  Flash wakes with a start and sneezes loudly. The fur on his back bristles, and he opens his eyes to stare in horror at your feet. He backs away, towards the front door. The leash pulls taut. He seems caught in the balance between an urge to run away from your stinky foot and his own laziness, which holds him to the spot.
  
  > Yes
  You rock back and forth on the floor, locked in a death struggle with your foot. Beads of sweat form on your head, as you struggle to twist and pull the boot off. With a sudden sucking pop, the boot relents and you tumble backwards.
  
  Muddy's eyes water as he complains, "Man, them feets of yours stinks powerful bad!"
  
  One foot was bad enough, but two is more than the old dog can handle. Trying not to sniff the air, Flash turns tail and breaks for the door, straining against his leash, which is tied to the steam pipe lever. The lever swings towards the door, and from the roof you hear the ear-splitting drone of a railway steam whistle.
  
  You agree with Muddy that the deputy is not likely to be in a good mood when he arrives, so you put your boots back on.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  The Deputy slams through the swinging doors to the office, lurching to the side as he struggles to put his other leg into his pants. He is bare-chested and empty-handed, aside from a nearly drained bottle of whiskey. Flash is so scared that he yanks the leash and snaps the lever clear off the machine.
  
  The deputy thunders, "What the saddle sore slapping blazes is the matter here?" The deputy surveys the office quickly and then rattles the gate to make sure it is still locked. In his drunken rage, he doesn't notice the missing metal bar.
  
  "Dumb dog," he mumbles, "I was doing important business." He looks around for Flash, but the dog has already slid out of the office. The deputy gives you a mean look and sets off again towards the door.
  
  The deputy brightens. "Ummm. I do smell me some coffee." The deputy drains the mug with a single gulp. "That's good. I got to wake me up some."
  
  Almost immediately, the deputy spins on his heel and drops to the floor just in front of your jail cell.
  
  > look at Deputy
  You are relieved to find that the deputy is unconscious, but breathing. He is wearing only a pair of pants -- no shirt, no gun belt, no boots.
  
  Muddy picks some food from between his teeth.
  
  > Search deputy
  You rifle through his trouser pockets and find a federal warrant. You also find a small brass key. Naturally, you take both.
  
  You don't find anything else but pocket lint.
  
  > read warrant
  "Muddy, this here's a federal warrant!"
  
  "What's it say, Rick?"
  
  I'm a-reading it now: FEDERAL WARRANT. This warrant is issued this eleventh day of December in the year of Our Lord Eighteen Hundred and Seventy-One and duly executed by the hand of United States Army Major General Philip H. Sheridan of Fort Sill, the Indian Territory of these United States of America. The fugitives Mudlark Abercromby MacGyver alias "Muddy Charlie," alias "Mudshoe," alias "Pensicola Thelma," and one Major Richard Carter, alias "Gentleman Rick," alias "Poor Richard," alias "Gumball Ricky," both formerly of the Confederate States Army, having been implicated by observation and circumstance of innumerable delicta, dacoiteries, iniquities, infringements, infractions, and indeed immorality, as well as trangressions, trespassing and trainstopping, are considered deleterious and detrimental to the welfare of the State, and THEREFORE, ordered thereupon that a Mittimus be made out to keep them confined until such time as they be discharged for proper hanging -- It's signed by the General."
  
  "Mittimus?"
  
  "I reckon it's after Thanksgiving, before Easter."
  
  Muddy gives you that familiar old look that always leads to trouble. "I got me another cunning plan. C'mon, ask your old buddy Muddy..." Muddy leans forward, clearly impatient for you to ask him about his latest stroke of (in his opinion) genius.
  
  > ask muddy about the plan
  Muddy says excitedly, "Here's my idea: I reckon I could take that warrant and forge a different ending. Maybe trick them into releasing us."
  
  "That's a great idea, Muddy, let me get my pen and some ink. Oh, wait a minute. I don't have either!" You glare at Muddy.
  
  "Oh, yeah. I suppose. I didn't think of that." Muddy considers the matter. "Maybe we could make one. If you can find something that I can use as a pen, I reckon we can squish something or other up to make some kind of ink for it."
  
  > give the feather to muddy
  "Thanks, partner. That'll make a right proper pen."
  
  He continues, "To finish this business with the warrant, I'll need something to serve as ink."
  
  Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the sheriff's invention puffs some steam into the office.
  
  > give the tobacco to muddy
  (first taking the tobacco)
  You take a pinch of tobacco.
  
  Muddy reluctantly accepts the tobacco, saying, "Well, I suppose I could use the tobacco juice." Muddy chews the tobacco some more, fills his makeshift pen with the juice, and throws the wad out the window.
  
  He continues, "To finish this business with the warrant, I'll need the warrant itself."
  
  A yellow-fringed surrey trots past the sheriff's office.
  
  > give the warrant to Muddy
  Muddy accepts the document and stares at it for a while, turning it this way and that.
  
  Muddy applies his quill to the paper and with a few flourishes, scrawls an additional sentence on the warrant. He blows gently on it to dry the "ink" and hands the warrant back to you for your inspection.
  
  A faint breeze wafts by.
  
  > read the warrant
  It says: FEDERAL WARRANT. This warrant is issued this eleventh day of December in the year of Our Lord Eighteen Hundred and Seventy-One and duly executed by the hand of United States Army Major General Philip H. Sheridan of Fort Sill, the Indian Territory of these United States of America. The fugitives Mudlark Abercromby MacGyver alias "Muddy Charlie," alias "Mudshoe," alias "Pensicola Thelma," and one Major Richard Carter, alias "Gentleman Rick," alias "Poor Richard," alias "Gumball Ricky," both formerly of the Confederate States Army, having been implicated by observation and circumstance of innumerable delicta, dacoiteries, iniquities, infringements, infractions, and indeed immorality, as well as trangressions, trespassing and trainstopping, are considered deleterious and detrimental to the welfare of the State, and THEREFORE, ordered thereupon that a Mittimus be made out to keep them confined until such time as they be discharged for proper hanging of the Sheriff's portrait on the office wall.
  
  > look at the key
  You see nothing special about the small brass key.
  
  Pastor Pete jumps straight up, immediately animate. He hollers, "BLESSED is the snail who crawls its time across the face of the earth yet, safe in its routine but for the SALT sprinkled upon him, the salt of the earth, well not so much earth per se, earth being dirt, but the ocean, which covers it, and would not cover him so lightly were he not, like a SLUG, so counterintuitively susceptible to its powers. How too we, like the SNAIL, curled in our houses made of our own SUBSTANCE, that being what differentiates the two, after all, amongst other minutiae, which are neither here nor there, nor relevant to the topic at hand, except in such a way as all things are relevant being made by HIS HAND, that by the end of such an analysis one must conclude not based on the FACTS, yet with the INARGUABLE voice of FAITH, which rails against the shackles of REASON itself, having lost track of the original THESIS. Which, were it important, chances are, we would remember. That is why you see so few slugs these days, at any rate!"
  
  Pastor Pete falls onto the bench and resumes his previous position as if nothing had happened.
  
  > give the warrant to Deputy
  The deputy groans deeply and curls up into a ball, rolling towards you and blinking quickly. His half-focused eyes drift from you to Pastor Pete and finally fix on Muddy, who gives him a full-toothed (as many as Muddy still has, at any rate) grin.
  
  The disoriented deputy asks, "What? What in tarnation happened?"
  
  Muddy takes the initiative, "I reckon you must've drunk some potent firewater, deputy. You plumb passed out. Now, why don't you get up and let us out, we got work to do -- just like it says on that federal warrant."
  
  The dull-witted deputy, still stunned by the recent turn of events, stares at the warrant.
  
  Muddy leans forward and points out, "Down there, near the bottom. It says that we should be discharged to hang up the sheriff's portrait, don't it?"
  
  The deputy yawns and rubs his eyes, "I reckon it do. But I thought you was criminals."
  
  "Oh shucks, no, deputy." Muddy puts on his most endearing smile. "Don't you remember the sheriff asking you to take care of his guests? We were just staying here overnight. Now, why don't you let us out? The sheriff's going to be mad at us all if that picture ain't hung by morning."
  
  The deputy reaches down and does something arcane to the lock. You don't quite see what he did, but it clicks open. He slumps wearily against the jail bars, and the gate swings open, permitting passage eastward into the office.
  
  > Unlock cabinet
  What do you want to unlock the cabinet with?
  
  > Key
  Is you talking plain English? I ain't following the words coming out of your lips. Mayhaps it's your accent.
  
  > unlock the cabinet with the key
  (the cabinet with the small brass key)
  You'd have to go over to the office first.
  
  Just to the side of the desk, the bronze machine ticks like a clock.
  
  > go to the east
  [Your score has just gone up by five]
  
  There's a big, wooden desk in the middle of the room. Just behind the desk is a fancy cabinet, with real glass in the door. Next to the cabinet, a large, framed picture of the sheriff stands on the floor. To the side of the desk, there is a weird-looking contraption: clearly, some sort of steam boiler which is connected by pipes to a strange-looking machine. On the opposite side of the room, two swinging doors lead back to town; a small bell hangs on a hook attached to the door. Flash's empty dog food bowl is nailed to the floor just in front of your jail cell.
  
  Muddy leans against the wall.
  
  A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the jail bars.
  
  You can also see the deputy here.
  
  A broken stool lies on the floor.
  
  In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious to your presence.
  
  In the jail cell you can also see an empty can (empty).
  
  > unlock cabinet with the key
  (the cabinet with the small brass key)
  That doesn't seem to be something you can unlock.
  
  > open the cabinet
  (the cabinet)
  The cabinet opens to reveal two gun belts and a banana.
  
  "Come to papa!" beams Muddy, as he reaches for his gun belt and straps it on.
  
  > examine the banana
  Sometimes a banana is just a banana. This is one of those times.
  
  > take the banana
  Fetched.
  
  > Hang picture
  What do you want to hang the portrait on?
  
  > Wall
  Muddy walks over to the portrait and hangs it on the wall, calling back to you, "Do this look centered?"
  
  You regard the portait critically, "A little more to the left."
  
  "Good?"
  
  "A little more..."
  
  "Now?"
  
  "There. I'd say it's well-hung."
  
  Muddy raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything.
  
  > eat the banana
  You eat the banana, peel and all. Because cowboys are made of stern stuff and need the fiber.
  
  > look at the desk
  A beat-up old wooden desk with time-worn corners, and a pitted, scratched surface. The rear of the desk has a drawer with a small lock.
  
  > unlock the drawer with the key
  You unlock the drawer.
  
  > open the drawer
  You open the drawer, revealing a folder.
  
  > get the folder
  Fetched.
  
  > look at it
  (first opening the folder)
  A manila cardboard folder containing a telegram, a patent, a note, and a receipt.
  
  > read the telegram
  It says: "AGREE TO YOUR OFFER [STOP] WILL SUPPLY MACHINE PARTS IN EXCHANGE FOR 5000 US DOLLARS IN SILVER COIN [STOP] CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING LOTTERY [STOP] SIGNED JEFFRIES & BRAND STEAMWORKS CO LTD [STOP][END]".
  
  > examine patent
  A thick technical document describing the coffee machine invented by the sheriff. Reading through it, you can see his plans to make these machines in factories and to sell them throughout the country. Your mind reels in horror at the prospect of coffee shops on every street corner selling fancy, steamed beverages.
  
  > examine note
  The note is written in a flowing cursive script. It reads:
  
  "Dear Sam, I can't go on like this. When you were just a plain old sheriff that was one thing, but since you started inventing stuff, I can see what you are made of. A man that kicks my dog isn't cut out for marrying anyone. I thought you were an honest lawman, but I can see what you've become. Don't come around no more or my pa might just take a disliking to you. I was going to send you my ring, but I found out it was glass. Why am I not surprised? You are a scoundrel and not fit to wear that uniform.
  
  Explicitly not yours,
  
  Ella".
  
  > look at the receipt
  A receipt from Jeffries & Brand Steam Works Co Ltd of Witchita Falls. The receipt is for four hundred dollars worth of pipes and fittings purchased by Sheriff Sam Cheney of Crawdad's Gulch. At the bottom of the note, written in red is the following postscriptum: "Your account with us is severely in arrears. No further credit will be extended. Remit all payments immediately or we will take legal or other actions as required.".
  
  > show the telegram to Deputy
  (first taking the telegram)
  The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one to examine all evidence."
  
  > take all from the envelope
  You can't take but one thing at a time. You ain't no juggler.
  
  > show the note to Deputy
  (first taking the note)
  The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one to examine all evidence."
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a note, a telegram, a folder, a banana, a warrant, a small brass key, a gray tube, a spoon, a harmonica, a spur, a tin, a pamphlet, your pocketwatch, your hat, and a scrap of paper. You are wearing your right boot, left boot, pants, and overcoat.
  
  > show the folder to Deputy
  The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one to examine all evidence."
  
  > look in the folder
  In the folder are a patent and a receipt.
  
  > ask Deputy about the SILVER
  The marshal interjects, "I am the senior lawman present. The prisoners will address their remarks to me."
  
  > tell Deputy about the patent
  The marshal interjects, "Address your remarks to me."