text: [Themes: Travel, surreal, gender-neutral protagonist, desert, unreliable narrator, house setting]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  The living quarters of a crew member. On the table is a communications device. On the bed is a book. Standing on the floor is a full length mirror. A set of doors lie south, back into the corridors.
  
  > examine the bed
  A standard-issue bed. It's not as comfortable as what one would have liked, but it'll have to do. A book sits on the bed.
  
  > Go west
  Turbolift (on Deck 2)
  The cylindrical walls of this glorified tuna can of an elevator greet you. You can hear a low humming from the machines that make it work. The door you entered in from is east. You can use the turbolift to go up or down to different decks on the ship.
  
  > use the the lamp on the the mirror to reflect the the light in such a the way that the the book is translated intthe potato-speech
  USE THE LAMP ON THE MIRROR TO REFLECT THE LIGHT IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE BOOK IS TRANSLATED INTO POTATO-SPEECH
  
  I only understood you as far as wanting to use the lamp.
  
  > look at the mirror
  You look into the mirror and realise that...
  
  You are a potato!
  
  You explode into a pulp at the realization of this fact.
  
  A voice somewhere says: "Thanks for playing!"
  
  > examine the device
  This small, flat, rectangular device has a black sleek exterior and
  
  > Go north
  rounded corners. It's face is taken up mostly by a screen. Below the screen is a circular button with a rounded square on it. It appears to be turned off.
  
  > pull the lever then enter the Shuttle
  (Lever)
  The giant doors of the shuttle bay open into the deep chill of space. It also sucks all the air out, and you along with it.
  
  > Yes
  debugcheapnitfol quit with exit status: 0
  
  Four rounds have gone by. You and the red robot have remained neck and neck for the lead, with two wins each. The robot that emerges victorious in the fifth round will become Champion of Robotic Boxing, with all the praise and adulation that title implies.
  
  Also, you get a pretty sweet endorsement deal from a leading gear manufacturer.
  
  The final round is about to begin. Get out there and win!
  
  An Interactive Boxing Match
  
  You are standing in the ring of one of the greatest robot boxing stadiums in the entire world. Thousands of screaming fans have packed the arena to see your match. It's time for the fight to end it all.
  
  The red robot stares at you intently.
  
  > About yourself
  A few dents and dings from the previous rounds mar your gleaming blue exterior.
  
  A man in the audience yells, "Knock his block off, Red!"
  
  > look at Red
  The red robot is the reigning champ of robotic boxing. No one expected you to hold your own against him, but you're no pushover; you've given him a run for his money.
  
  The crowd holds its breath in anticipation of your next moves.
  
  > hit red
  You have to wait for the match to start, or else you'll be disqualified.
  
  The audience roars with approval.
  
  > examine the audience
  The audience is packed into every available seat in the stadium, with plenty more sitting in the aisles. They're watching you intently, and making quite a commotion.
  
  The bell rings! The match has started!
  
  A woman seated behind you yells, "Go Blue! Kill that red bastard!"
  
  > hit red
  You land a devastating blow on the red robot's jaw!
  The red robot lands a vicious uppercut on your jaw!
  
  A man in the audience yells, "Knock his block off, Red!"
  
  > hit red
  You land a spectacular roundhouse on the red robot's jaw!
  The red robot lands a devastating blow on your jaw!
  
  A little girl in the front row bellows with rage. "The robot requires additional pummeling! Continue!"
  
  > hit red
  The red robot parries your blow!
  You parry the red robot's blow!
  
  The audience roars with approval.
  
  > hit red
  You land a devastating blow on the red robot's jaw!
  
  You deal the final blow to the red robot, sending his head flying upwards. You wouldn't think it possible if you couldn't hear it, but the crowd begins to cheer even more loudly than before. The red robot's manager looks on in horror, quickly jumping into the ring to push his client's head back into place.
  
  You're quickly ushered out of the arena and to safety as the fans begin to mob the ring. You're taken to a waiting limo. Your manager is already waiting inside, grinning broadly.
  
  "Nice work, Blue. I had faith in you the entire time." You try to thank him, but he's too excited to listen. "I just got off the phone with a few contacts of mine -- y'know, in the breakfast gears business and stuff -- and it's lookin' very good for you. I tell you, a match this big, you'll be gettin' the biggest endorsement deal there ever was. We're both going to be rich! Let's go out to celebrate!"
  
  > Win
  That's the general idea, yes.
  
  The audience roars with approval.
  
  > run
  You are attached to the floor of the ring. There is no escape for you.
  
  The crowd screams with pleasure.
  
  > Lose
  You make only a token effort to defend yourself, allowing the red robot to pop your head up. It may not be a glorious way to go, but it is profitable. Your manager bet a ton of cash on the red robot, and you'll get your share of it, fair and square. There's a nice sprocket you've had your eyes on for a while, maybe a lube job.
  
  On your way out of the stadium, you are stopped by a small child. "Why'd you lose, Blue? You never lose like that. You can't have lost like that."
  
  Your ears burn with shame. "Shut up, kid!" you shout. You run to your waiting limo, and seat yourself. When did it even come to this, you think to yourself. I used to be a champ, and now I'm just trash. You bury your face in your hands and sob.
  
  > hit the audience
  You'd better not. Your manager is still making payments on the loan he had to take out to pay the settlement from the last time.
  
  A man in the audience yells, "Knock his block off, Red!"
  
  > hit yourself
  Violence is the answer to this one, but it's best to direct it appropriately.
  
  The bell rings! The match has started!
  
  The audience roars with approval.
  
  > Xyzzy
  You close your eyes in deep concentration and intone the magical word XYZZY...
  
  You open your eyes and find yourself in a bakery in beautiful Paris! The baker smiles at you and presses something into your palm.
  
  "Merci," you say.
  
  "De rien," the baker replies.
  
  The spell wears off, and you find yourself back in the boxing ring. The red robot lands a spectacular roundhouse on your jaw!
  
  A woman seated behind you yells, "Go Blue! Kill that red bastard!"
  
  > hit yourself
  Violence is the answer to this one, but it's best to direct it appropriately.
  The red robot lands a vicious uppercut on your jaw!
  
  The crowd holds its breath in anticipation of your next moves.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a croissant
  The red robot lands a vicious uppercut on your jaw!
  
  As the red robot's fist connects with your face, you feel your head begin to jerk upwards. You don't have long to feel sorry for yourself; you black out shortly afterward.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying nothing.
  
  The crowd screams with pleasure.
  
  > Xyzzy
  You close your eyes in deep concentration and intone the magical word XYZZY...
  
  You open your eyes and find yourself in a bakery in beautiful Paris! The baker smiles at you and presses something into your palm.
  
  "Merci," you say.
  
  "De rien," the baker replies.
  
  The spell wears off, and you find yourself back in the boxing ring.
  
  The audience roars with approval.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a croissant
  
  The audience roars with approval.
  
  > give the croissant to Red
  He doesn't want it. Has he no respect for the power of croissant?
  
  The bell rings! The match has started!
  
  The crowd screams with pleasure.
  
  > hit the robot
  You land a devastating blow on the red robot's jaw!
  The red robot lands a spectacular roundhouse on your jaw!
  
  The crowd holds its breath in anticipation of your next moves.
  
  > hit the robot
  You land a vicious uppercut on the red robot's jaw!
  The red robot lands a spectacular roundhouse on your jaw!
  
  A woman seated behind you yells, "Go Blue! Kill that red bastard!"
  
  > hit the robot
  You land a spectacular roundhouse on the red robot's jaw!
  
  You deal the final blow to the red robot, sending his head flying upwards. You wouldn't think it possible if you couldn't hear it, but the crowd begins to cheer even more loudly than before. The red robot's manager looks on in horror, quickly jumping into the ring to push his client's head back into place.
  
  You're quickly ushered out of the arena and to safety as the fans begin to mob the ring. You're taken to a waiting limo. Your manager is already waiting inside, grinning broadly.
  
  "Nice work, Blue. I had faith in you the entire time." You try to thank him, but he's too excited to listen. "I just got off the phone with a few contacts of mine -- y'know, in the breakfast gears business and stuff -- and it's lookin' very good for you. I tell you, a match this big, you'll be gettin' the biggest endorsement deal there ever was. We're both going to be rich! Let's go out to celebrate!"