text: [Themes: Fantasy, Satire]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  Lake Shore East, the rowboat
  
  Draounheer. Across the sparkling blue waters, you can see the snow-covered caps of the Beeg'ashell Mountains, deep in the heart of evil Unnkulia. But here, on this side of the lake, you could truly find peace. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and reeds bend gracefully in the brisk fall breezes. To the east, a path leads back into the forest. North of here, the land slopes up sharply, and the path continues. You could also go southwest, along the shore of the lake - further along, the grassy lakeshore turns into a sandy beach.
  
  You see a rowboat here.
  
  > leave
  You're standing on the eastern shore of Lake Draounheer. Across the sparkling blue waters, you can see the snow-covered caps of the Beeg'ashell Mountains, deep in the heart of evil Unnkulia. But here, on this side of the lake, you could truly find peace. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and reeds bend gracefully in the brisk fall breezes. To the east, a path leads back into the forest. North of here, the land slopes up sharply, and the path continues. You could also go southwest, along the shore of the lake - further along, the grassy lakeshore turns into a sandy beach.
  
  You see a rowboat here.
  
  The six thugs that make up the Valley Patrol are here, leaning on
  their pikes. They appear to be loafing on the job.
  
  softest patch of grass for his nap.
  
  > give pillow to Patrol
  "Hmph," the leader snorts. "Got no use fer that. Whatchoo tryin' to do, bribe the Patrol?"
  
  "Well, we'd better be moving along," the Valley Patrol leader says.
  He yawns and stretches. "Only twenty more minutes on this break, fellas."
  
  > Go north
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [7]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [7]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  > turn it on
  You can't see any way to light the lamp from here; access to the oil supply and wick must be from somewhere else.
  
  > go east
  You're walking along a well-travelled forest path that winds through the peaceful woods. Birds chirp and sing above you, and the temperature is brisk but pleasant. Like many of the children of the Valley, you played in these woods as a child, scampering through the woods, looking for animal tracks, and climbing trees. The path bends here, running south and northeast. The trees also thin out to the west, and the land slopes up in that direction. There's a radberry bush here, but it's been picked clean.
  
  You see a single brick here.
  
  The Valley Patrol marches up from the south.
  
  > get brick
  Taken.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > give the brick to Patrol
  "Hmph," the leader snorts. "Got no use fer that. Whatchoo tryin' to do, bribe the Patrol?"
  
  The Valley Patrol leader grins at you. He's missing at least four front teeth. "Hiya, chum."
  
  > break the brick
  You don't need to break the single brick, however satisfying it might prove to be.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > put the brick in pillow
  I don't know how to put anything into the pillow.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > examine pillow
  The pillow is about as hard as a brick. Tiny letters on one side read "Acme Soopur-Sopht Downee Pillough."
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You have a robe (being worn), a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a jade figurine, a black stone, a spade, a pickaxe, an oar, and a single brick.
  
  > Go southwest
  You're walking along a well-travelled forest path that winds through the peaceful woods. Birds chirp and sing above you, and the temperature is brisk but pleasant. Like many of the children of the Valley, you played in these woods as a child, scampering through the woods, looking for animal tracks, and climbing trees. The path bends here, running south and northeast. The trees also thin out to the west, and the land slopes up in that direction. There's a radberry bush here, but it's been picked clean.
  
  The six thugs that make up the Valley Patrol are here, leaning on
  their pikes. They appear to be loafing on the job.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > throw brick at Patrol
  You miss.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > get the brick
  Taken.
  
  The patrol leader tells a particularly foul joke about the Acme salesman and the King's Droll.
  
  > Go west
  You're standing on the eastern shore of Lake Draounheer. Across the sparkling blue waters, you can see the snow-covered caps of the Beeg'ashell Mountains, deep in the heart of evil Unnkulia. But here, on this side of the lake, you could truly find peace. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and reeds bend gracefully in the brisk fall breezes. To the east, a path leads back into the forest. North of here, the land slopes up sharply, and the path continues. You could also go southwest, along the shore of the lake - further along, the grassy lakeshore turns into a sandy beach.
  
  You see a rowboat here.
  
  The Valley Patrol ambles down from the north.
  
  > go south
  You're riding in a small boat, hurtling down a narrow north-south channel cut through Dawg Rock. Whitewater churns around you, and the boat rocks back and forth. To both sides, the thick granite walls lean overhead. There's no place to land, and no way to slow down - you're totally at the mercy of the churning water. From the south, a distant rumbling grows louder -
  
  You see a rowboat here.
  
  > examine the walls
  The towering granite walls impart a sense of impending doom.
  
  Suddenly, you round a bend in the rushing river. Above you, you can see a stone bridge - but it's much too high to reach from the boat.
  And just ahead - a waterfall! Before you have time to react, the boat plummets over the sheer drop, smashing the flimsy rowboat (and you) into tiny pieces -
  
  > go north
  The current's much too strong to paddle that way. You'd better just sit back and enjoy the ride.
  
  Suddenly, you round a bend in the rushing river. Above you, you can see a stone bridge - but it's much too high to reach from the boat.
  And just ahead - a waterfall! Before you have time to react, the boat plummets over the sheer drop, smashing the flimsy rowboat (and you) into tiny pieces -
  
  > Go outside
  You jump over the side of the boat. Not knowing how to swim, you sink like a stone and drown.
  
  > Go southwest
  You trudge up the mountains. Suddenly, a sharp pain shoots up your leg. You look down - your foot has been sliced off by steel jaws buried in the pathway! Before you bleed to death, you just have time enough to read the writing on the trap - "Acme Rhust-Pruph Stihl Trappe - Dam Dedlee!"
  
  > go north
  You charge into the gloomy cave mouth. From out of darkened crevices, the steel-jawed Demons of Unnkul swarm out to meet you. Even a Valley Warrior can only withstand their endless attacks for so long -
  
  > Go north
  You're on the north shore of Lake Draounheer, at the southern edge
  of the infamous Damsogee Swamp. This is unexplored territory now; you've left the safety of the Forest of Radeekal for dangerous and uncharted wilderness. Perhaps a wiser man would turn back now - but you are a Valley Warrior, and know no fear. Mist swirls at the water's edge, and reeds bend in the cold, damp breeze. Two paths lead into the swamp, one due north, the other northwest. The path is surprisingly well-traveled; small footprints lead north.
  
  You see a small leather pouch, a long rope, a wine bottle, a small cardboard box, a brown book, and a rowboat here.
  
  > get all
  small leather pouch: Taken.
  long rope: You've already got your hands full.
  wine bottle: You've already got your hands full.
  small cardboard box: You've already got your hands full.
  brown book: You've already got your hands full.
  rowboat: Your load is too heavy.
  
  > Rope
  brown book: Taken.
  long rope: Taken.
  
  > Go west
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a sword and a shiny knife here.
  
  > drop all but the robe and the rope
  thin wand: Dropped.
  pair of erasers: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  spade: Dropped.
  pickaxe: Dropped.
  single brick: Dropped.
  small leather pouch: Dropped.
  brown book: Dropped.
  
  > Go west
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a sword, a shiny knife, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a
  jade figurine, a black stone, a spade, a pickaxe, a single brick, a small leather pouch, and a brown book here.
  
  > put the trampoline on the hook
  You try to hang the trampoline on the hook, but it slips off and falls into the pit.
  
  You're feeling a fuzz hungry. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat.
  
  > tie the rope to the trampoline
  I don't know how to attach anything to the trampoline.
  
  You're feeling a fuzz hungry. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat.
  
  > put the trampoline on the hook
  You try to hang the trampoline on the hook, but it slips off and falls into the pit.
  
  > go east
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. In the center
  of the room is a rusty oven. It appears to have been pulled away from the wall, revealing a very narrow tunnel to the east. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  You're feeling a fuzz hungry. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat.
  
  > go southwest
  There's a clumsy, nearsighted baby dragon here. It appears to think that you're its mother - it runs up and leaps into your arms. Unfortunately, it weighs about a half-ton -