text: [Themes: Humor, office, violence]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  This room is filled with empty boxes, of the sort used for packaging. The only obvious exit is south.
  
  Dangling from the ceiling is a long roll of sellotape.
  
  > Examine boxes
  They're very uninteresting, in an interesting way.
  
  > climb the boxes
  Little is to be achieved by that.
  
  > Go south
  The corridor ends here, and there are stairs heading down to the west. To the east, the corridor continues in a shuffling sort of way. If you should feel the need, you may always enter the elevator which is situated (for your benefit) to the south, or else enter the storage room to the north.
  
  > take the dog
  You pull the weiner dog out from the tube. This takes some time, and
  it is only by seizing it by the hind legs and swinging it around the room that the tube finally flies off, ricochetting off the wall in the process. The dog grumbles a bit, muttering about "Inhuman Resources" under its breath.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a large cardboard tube (open but empty)
  a weiner dog
  a cup of coffee
  a portable squid
  a pair of scissors
  a shirt
  a tie (being worn)
  
  > drop the dog
  Dropped.
  
  > show the coffee to the dog
  The weiner dog is unimpressed.
  
  > take the dog
  The weiner dog allows you to pick it up, staring at you with
  drowsiness in its eyes.
  
  > put the dog in the tube
  You put the weiner dog into the large cardboard tube.
  
  > Close tube
  You close the large cardboard tube.
  
  > go south
  As you enter the elevator, the doors close behind you, uttering a peculiar squeaking noise in the process. With a whirr, and without you having even had the time to fiddle around with the buttons, the elevator begins to descend -- into lunacy? Who knows.
  
  The elevator in which you are currently standing smells strongly of canine interference. A panel of buttons covers one wall.
  
  As if to attract your attention, the elevator whines like a dog whose nose has just been bopped over the nose with a newspaper.
  
  > examine the buttons
  Upon closer examination, someone has replaced all the buttons by tin tacks. This, among other things, means that you cannot mess around
  with it as much as you wanted to.
  
  The elevator screeches to a stop, and an electronic voice says breathlessly: "Time out! Be back in a jiffy!"
  
  After a moment or so, the elevator whirrs back to life, and business resumes.
  
  > Smell
  You smell nothing. Nothing, that is, other than the smell of your own fear.
  
  The elevator stops briefly, the doors opening for just the exact
  amount of time required for an enormous elephant to fit itself inside along with you.
  
  > examine the elephant
  You see nothing special about the enormous elephant.
  
  The elephant sneezes. The tension is palpable.
  
  > talk to the elephant
  You have no idea what you would say to the enormous elephant.
  
  The elevator stops again, and to your vast surprise another elephant steps inside, this time carrying a guitar and wearing a flower shirt! You try to make a dash for freedom, but alas the doors have already closed, and the elevator has resumed its descent.
  
  > examine the hippy
  You see nothing special about the elephant hippy.
  
  It's now beginning to feel a little crowded in here. And the
  irritating little elves singing high-pitched renditions of "The Bohemian Rhapsody" are simply not helping.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  The elevator stops. There is silence. And then... a third elephant, wearing a business suit and a fedora, crams itself inside. "Jeez," he says. "This sure is cramped, fellas."
  
  > Go north
  The doors are closed, and there doesn't appear to be any button allowing you to open them. What a nuisance. And the matter of that
  duck still remains unresolved. What a day. What... a... day.
  
  Oddly enough, you are finding it a little hard to breathe in here.
  
  > Go upward
  You can't go that way.
  
  The elevator is almost at the lobby, and you pray to God that you make it there alive.
  
  > examine businessman
  You see nothing special about the elephant businessman.
  
  Just when you thought this nightmare was over, the elevator abruptly stops at the first floor. You get a sinking feeling. Oh, no. Please.
  
  You watch the elevator doors open. Slooooowly....
  
  And then....
  
  ... a fourth elephant, wearing dark glasses and wielding a cane,
  calmly tries to fit itself into the elevator.
  
  SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
  
  The elevator falls, carrying you and the four elephants down with it. The little annoying elves -- those responsible for the annoying elevator music -- all unaminously begin to do their own rendition of Fauré's Requiem. Everyone inside the elevator goes crashing
  through the earth's molten core, screaming all the way. Eventually, the elevators comes soaring out through a volcano in New Zealand, but by then you are all toast.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a cup of coffee
  a portable squid
  a pair of scissors
  a shirt
  a tie (being worn)
  
  > go east
  Coffee rooms are the lungs of the Weiner Corporation, filled with caffeine to the same extent that the lungs of excessively successful businessmen are habitually filled with nicotine.
  
  There is a strong stench of coffee here, almost sufficient to drive small dogs mad.
  
  The office chair is bowed down beneath the weight of a smug-looking coffee machine.
  
  On the wall, someone has carelessly pinned a poster for the latest movie blockbuster. That's clearly a violation of company policy.
  
  A long wire comes into the room from the west, and you perceive that
  it is connected to a plug in the wall. Why anyone thought this was necessary is rather hard to divine.
  
  > unplug the wire
  You notice that unplugging the electric wire is nothing short of impossible, owing to the external action of some diabolical villain. Curses.
  
  > cut the wire
  You make a brave attempt to cut the wire with the pair of scissors,
  but it is all too obvious to even the most stubborn intellect that these scissors are only adequate for slicing through cardboard.
  
  > Go north
  One entire wall (the north one, as it happens) is nothing else but a great pane of glass, through which you can see the cityscape that lies outside. The office itself is sparsely furnished: it is equipped with merely a desk, a fax machine, a telephone and a cow. To the south is
  an open door.
  
  A long wire extends across the room, originating from the fax machine.
  
  > cut the boxes
  That would take forever, and you'd just end up buried under a pile of cardboard confettis.
  
  > cut the tape
  It's tantalizingly out of reach, as you conclude from several minutes of waving the scissors around like a homicidal maniac.
  
  > cut tube
  You can't cut the carboard tube in half without first emptying it. That's one of the Six Basic Rules of the Mailroom.
  
  > Open tube
  You open the large cardboard tube, revealing a weiner dog.
  
  > take the dog
  You pull the weiner dog out from the tube. This takes some time, and
  it is only by seizing it by the hind legs and swinging it around the room that the tube finally flies off, ricochetting off the wall in the process. The dog grumbles a bit, muttering about "Inhuman Resources" under its breath.
  
  > cut tube
  You take a few minutes of your time to neatly cut the tube into two long, equal pieces. As you let them fall to the floor, you notice that they look remarkably like cardboard skis! This is food for thought.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  some pieces of cardboard which look like cardboard skis
  a weiner dog
  a cup of coffee
  a portable squid
  a pair of scissors
  a shirt
  a tie (being worn)
  
  > go west
  You are about to go down the stairs when you abruptly become aware of one niggling fact: namely, that each and every single step is
  carefully layered with marbles.
  
  > drop the skis
  Dropped.
  
  > examine the marbles
  There are millions of these little shiny marbles. It must have taken forever to lay them out upon every single step, and you wonder who on earth would be so diabolically villainous and maniacally persnickety
  as to be capable of such a heinous act.
  
  > take the chair
  Wouldn't it be easier to push it around? It's got wheels, after all.
  
  > Go west
  The corridor heads off to the east and west, and you can always choose to re-enter your office to the north, via an open door upon which your name and job have been inscribed in a decidedly shoddy fashion. There is a faint aroma in the air, but that is not important.
  
  There is a strong stench of coffee here, almost sufficient to drive small dogs mad.
  
  The office chair is bowed down beneath the weight of a smug-looking coffee machine.
  
  A long wire snakes its way out from your office, and heads down the corridor to the east.
  
  > Go west
  The corridor ends here, and there are stairs heading down to the west. To the east, the corridor continues in a shuffling sort of way. If you should feel the need, you may always enter the elevator which is situated (for your benefit) to the south, or else enter the storage room to the north.
  
  There is a strong stench of coffee here, almost sufficient to drive small dogs mad.
  
  The office chair is bowed down beneath the weight of a smug-looking coffee machine.
  
  > Go north
  This room is filled with empty boxes, of the sort used for packaging. The only obvious exit is south.
  
  There is a strong stench of coffee here, almost sufficient to drive small dogs mad.
  
  The office chair is bowed down beneath the weight of a smug-looking coffee machine.
  
  Dangling from the ceiling is a long roll of sellotape.
  
  > get on the chair
  You stand up on the chair, wobbling slightly as you do so. Now what next?
  
  Storage Room (on the office chair)
  This room is filled with empty boxes, of the sort used for packaging. The only obvious exit is south.
  
  There is a strong stench of coffee here, almost sufficient to drive small dogs mad.
  
  Dangling from the ceiling is a long roll of sellotape.
  
  > take the tape
  You cut the sellotape with a neat snip of the scissors, and retrieve the rest of it for your own personal use.