text: [Themes: edutainment, humor, serious]
  
  You are a typical female teen...well maybe not entirely typical. In your current state you aren't very popular in school. Sometimes you feel left out of things, particularly social gatherings, and boys don't seem to notice you at all. Maybe being popular would makes things easier and make you happier, but then you also wonder if you even belong here, as you have a hard time relating to people sometimes.
  
  Well, what are YOU going to do about it?
  
  > mope about it, but don't actually do anything because that might take some effort
  Oh you're so complex and nobody understands you. Or more likely nobody even cares.
  
  In any case you become withdrawn and start dressing in black constantly. You stay in your room a lot with the shades drawn and the lights low and don't move much unless you feel the futile urge to continue to eat or go to the bathroom.
  
  In school you're somewhat more active (Well you DO have to walk to class) about as popular as you were before, but now you have the added bonus of being known as that "gloomy chick". Folks sometimes whisper things about you, most of them quite amusing to people other than yourself.
  
  All of this continues to make you feel like an outcast and only makes you feel more depressed since nobody "gets you". You hate them! And your parents aren't any help at all. They're totally involved with themselves. You hate them! You hate them all!
  
  This sort of thinking of course causes you to seek an escape for your depression, an outlet, comfort, something to make you feel better, which is probably the most motivated you've been in a while.
  
  > find comfort in a hobby
  You realize that you're all alone in this shitty cesspit of a world and you can't rely on anyone else to make you happy, so you take a page from your self-centered parent's book and decide to focus on yourself to make yourself happy.
  
  You attempt to write dark poetry, but you suck at it. You can't even rhyme right.
  You attempt to play dark music, but you suck at it. You're completely tone deaf.
  You attempt to paint dark pictures, but you suck at it. You have no talent whatsoever.
  
  Having failed in your hobby attempts, you begin to cry a lot wishing you were never born since you're a great big loser. You feel so much pain and just wish you could make yourself feel better somehow.
  
  > eat, food is always there...
  Sure food is always there. It never judges, it just is. And really, who have you got to be thin for anyway? Nobody. Might as well enjoy your pie.
  
  You begin to eat at an accelerated rate, which also means your weight increases at an accelerated rate. You feel a little more satisfied at least in the short term. As it turns out though, you're finally getting that attention from schoolmates like you originally wanted, unfortunately its now to taunt you and your girth. No longer are you the "gloomy chick" you're now that "fat bitch who smells like cheese all the time".
  
  Of course these taunts only make you depressed again, so you eat more, so you get fatter, so you get more taunts, which...
  
  Well as you can see this is vicious downward spiral.
  
  At one point you are victim of a particularly cruel practical joke where some cheerleaders play keep away with your box of King Dongs. As you helplessly attempt to grab the box which is being thrown around, you get winded a lot. They're too quick for you to grab the box from them.
  
  "Come on! Stop being so mean to me! I'm hungry!" you whine.
  "Hah! You should be thanking us fat ass, all this running will make you lose some weight, why I dare say you'll be down to a size 98 after this! Ha ha ha!"
  
  This statement was the last straw, you cease sobbing and you begin to get angry and you charge the anorexic cheerleading bitch who said that, like a mad hippo. She thinks you're just going to attempt to grab the box of King Dongs so she throws them to one of her friends, but she goes into shock when you continue to smash into her small frame and don't stop until you slam her into the wall. You succeed in crushing her rib cage and pelvis. She crumples to the ground coughing up blood and gasping for air, but you deprive her of that by sitting on her face and not getting your immense ass off her until she stops moving.
  
  Her friends are horrified by what they've just witnessed, and they run to go get help as you laugh in a Hutt like fashion. You just wish you had your King Dongs to celebrate. In fact you're still hungry, and having completely lost it at this point, you begin to eat this skinny ass cheerleader.
  
  When the school security guards arrive they immediately see you hovering over the half eaten cheerleader like a wild animal devouring a fresh kill.
  
  "Holy shit!" one of them shouts.
  "Freeze and don't move!" the other says pulling out his gun.
  
  You turn around with blood all over you and a carnivorous gleam in your eye. You don't even see danger anymore, you just see MEAT! You scream at the top of your lungs and charge the security guards. They open fire and manage to put you down before you're able to kill again, but it took eighteen rounds to do it.
  
  "(Whew) Goddamn. We need to put a sign on this school that says no fat chicks."
  
  The moral of the story?
  
  Eating to "cure" your depression is not a goddamn solution. You just become a big bloated sack of disgusting fat that can't walk two steps without nearly dying of a heart attack and everyone makes fun of. So unless you're prepared for that, have some goddamn willpower for fuck's sake.
  
  And now you know!