text: [Themes: grimdark fantasy, villain protagonist, grimdark]
  
  Always hard to recall exactly all the details of a past life in this existence no matter how long you've been at it.
  
  So far you've lived through what you're sure was your past. You're fairly certain at least. You'll soon know if you're wrong.
  
  Things at the orphanage didn't really change excessively after Patty was transferred. The only thing that changed was that most children were afraid of you even if some of them didn't know why exactly. Nobody knew about your magic powers except Chloe and she never told anyone.
  
  She was certainly grateful for being her friend before which is only because you didn't treat her with any antipathy. Still, she was afraid too.
  
  Miss Olga wasn't though; she still just wanted you to be in a good home. You didn't really care about that though.
  
  If you ever really did.
  
  "Prospective parents are coming in today, everyone be on your best behavior! No fighting, no name calling, no nonsense!" Miss Olga exclaims.
  
  All the children remain silent or say "Yes Miss Olga."
  
  Miss Olga tells everyone to stay within the orphanage walls, and then as everyone is breaking up from the line up, Miss Olga pulls you aside.
  
  "As for you, I want YOU to make an effort today." Miss Olga says.
  "I'm here." You say.
  "Yes, you're here. You didn't sneak away to the park like you typically do, but you've also been here for several of these days and for whatever reason, nobody seems to want to adopt you. It's like you're actively driving them away."
  "I'm not doing anything."
  "Well you're doing something."
  "If you want me out of here so much, why not just give me to the first couple who comes in?"
  "It doesn't work like that and you know it. I can't just give you away like an object. I have to see if the prospective parents want you AND if you want to be with them. Maybe other places don't care, but want to make good matches. You NEED to be more outgoing, not just sitting in a corner being anti-social."
  
  Miss Olga exhales as if she's really trying to make you understand.
  
  "Look, you're a pretty girl who is intelligent enough to be given a better education than this place can provide when I even have the time. You're also still young enough to really enjoy a proper childhood. You can't have that if you're stuck here."
  "What about Chloe?"
  "Huh? What about her?"
  "She tries very hard to get adopted, but nobody picks her. She's nice and smart."
  "Yes, well it is an unfortunate situation for her. Nobody wants half-breed orc children, at least nobody human does and it isn't like I exactly have orc parents coming in here. It's not surprising she was given to me. I imagine she'll be here until she's legally an adult and then who knows? In any case, you need to worry about YOUR future and staying here until you're an adult isn't the best possible one for you. Will you at least try today?"
  
  You don't really reply, causing Miss Olga to just throw up her hands and walk off.
  
  Part of you does wonder why you're not trying to get adopted. You don't exactly like it here. There also have been a few adults that seemed okay. If you'd made the effort, you're pretty sure you would have been adopted by now.
  
  Miss Olga does seem to want the best for you, but she doesn't understand you though. If she did, she'd have you sent away like she did with Patty or worse.
  
  You wonder if maybe part of you is sticking around because of Chloe. You're the only friend she has and even if she is a little afraid of you now, you imagine she'd still miss you if you were gone.
  
  Eventually you stop wondering about such things when you hear people entering the orphanage. You walk to the front room and see quite a few adults walking in. Mostly humans of course.
  
  Once again, you make no effort to be friendly even if you aren't actively hostile. Most of the couples look over at your way, but don't approach. A few of them do approach, but soon walk away when you're giving them one-word answers to questions.
  
  However, one man comes up to you with a smile on his face.
  
  "So, I'm guessing you're not a fan of these things?" the man asks.
  
  You don't answer at all.
  
  "Don't blame you. It's never fun to have to act like a different person. Trust me, I'm a merchant and I have to do it all the time."
  
  You continue to not answer, but the man isn't offended or driven away by your demeanor.
  
  "So, what do you do?"
  "Nothing." You finally answer.
  "I find that hard to believe. Everyone does something. Working, playing, whatever it is, they're doing something for some reason even if they aren't doing it all the time. You don't seem like the rest of your fellows here. They're all eager to leave this place, while you seem to be content where you are, that suggests there must be some reason you're not in a hurry to leave."
  "I like the park."
  "Hm. I imagine that is one of the few green areas in this city. Nature lover perhaps? You ever been outside Nuro's walls? There's a lot more to see. Beautiful things."
  "Where's your wife?"
  "My wife? What makes you think I'm married?"
  "Everyone who adopts is married."
  "Is that a rule?"
  "It is here. Miss Olga doesn't want perverts coming here."
  
  Your accusation causes the man to laugh.
  
  "Trust me girl, there are plenty of couples that have ill intent as well. However, yes I am married, but my wife is currently at home. She's been rather sick lately, but we had this appointment and insisted that I go alone and she trusts my judgment."
  "Well she's going to have to be here, if you actually want to adopt and Miss Olga will know if you just got some whore to pose as your wife."
  "Wow. You really are a suspicious one. Still, being suspicious isn't the worst thing in the world. Keeps one alive and alert I suppose. Can't imagine it's been easy growing up here. I used to live around here."
  "You grew up in an orphanage?"
  "No, I had both my parents, though I might have been better off growing up in one given how they were. I did live a few blocks away though, down at the end of Ragpicker Lane."
  "Miss Olga tells us not to go near that direction."
  "Well she's right. Not an area of the city I'd recommend, glad I made it out. So what about you?"
  "What about me what?"
  "Wouldn't you like to leave here?"
  
  You back away a bit from the man.
  
  "You seem awfully interested in me. There's other kids here." You say.
  "True, but they all seem to be preoccupied with other potential parents. Well except for that one standing against the wall. Poor kid, she can't help she's an orc." The man remarks.
  "She's only half orc."
  "I stand corrected, but that more makes sense. Can't imagine orcs give their unwanted children to orphanages when they could eat them instead."
  "They do?"
  "Well, I suppose I'm just making assumptions. I probably shouldn't. You can miss out on things if you make too many of them. Well I guess I won't bother you any longer. It's been nice speaking with you, you take care of yourself."
  
  The man turns around and heads back towards the crowd of adults and children. You're a little more at ease, though you thought for sure he'd keep talking to you.
  
  You think back again to what Miss Olga said about trying to get adopted and finally leaving this place. There's a part of you that was a little intrigued by what the man had to say, even if you didn't give him much time to say a lot.
  
  A fleeting thought of what it might be like to have a proper family enters your mind, but only for a moment. You leave the orphanage and go to the park. You want to try something.
  
  You go to the usual secluded spot of the park and after looking around, you see a rabbit sitting and eating a few wildflowers.
  
  You close you look around again and then stretch your hand out and focus...
  
  A jolt of energy comes from your finger. You don't fall backwards this time. You've managed to control it better. You feel numbness in your hand, though it's better than the pain you used to feel in it.
  
  You look at the rabbit and see your aim has gotten better as well, since you've fried the furry creature. You don't really like killing animals, but it's the only way to practice.
  
  You focus on the dead rabbit.
  
  And focus...
  
  The dead rabbit starts to stir. It looks around and then at you, making sounds a rabbit wouldn't normally make. Now comes the difficult part.
  
  You immediately attempt to hold the dead rabbit in place through sheer force of will.
  
  It runs toward you...
  
  And then stops.
  
  Then it wanders left and to the right. It looks at you again, growls, leaps at your feet before stopping completely again.
  
  You back away, step to the side and feel very shaky. You lean up against a tree trying to gather your wits. Part of it is nerves, but what you're doing is very exhausting. The concentration, the energy, everything is just very tiring.
  
  Meanwhile the rabbit look at you with dead eyes as if waiting for further commands. You've made some real progress today.
  
  Then you suddenly hear laughter approaching, it's two older teenagers who are walking and kissing each other. They haven't seen you or the zombie rabbit yet, but their presence catches you off guard.
  
  Enough so that you lose concentration and the rabbit ceases to stay put. Its attention is now not on you, it's on the teenagers and it runs towards them.
  
  You can't stop it in time, in fact if you tried, you'd just out yourself and get into major trouble. The only thing you can think of to do is run off before they see you, which they don't because they're too busy screaming about a zombie rabbit viciously attacking them.
  
  With the screams of teenagers behind you, you quickly make your way out of the park before anyone really notices you or city guards come running.
  
  Part of you is genuinely worried now. Will this be traced back to you? You remember Chloe talking about the type of magic you were messing with being against the rules. Maybe they'll just think the rabbit is rabid.
  
  All you want to do is hide and get as far as you can from the park. You don't want to go back to the orphanage since you imagine the adoption day is still going on. Part of you doesn't even want to be in the city right now.
  
  You briefly think about leaving the city, but that's just not possible. You have no idea of anything outside Nuro, let alone where to go or how you'd live. You just pick a direction and start walking without paying much attention.
  
  You start thinking about all this magic you've been practicing and wondering if you should stop. Though, it's not really all the magic, but one specific type of magic you've had a bit of a compulsion ever since...well since you discovered you had the abilities at all.
  
  You can't help it though, there's just this desire within you. You've even been having more dreams lately. Dreams of darkness and death. You'd like to tell someone, but you know you can't.
  
  You can't tell Miss Olga, you can only imagine her reaction and it wouldn't be good. You can't even tell Chloe, at least not everything that's been going on with you. She'd be even more scared of you than she already is. They're arguably the closest things you've ever known to family and you still hold them at a distance.
  
  The thought goes through your head that while leaving the city isn't really an option; maybe at least running away from the orphanage is in order. It's obviously too confining for your personality.
  
  You'd have to figure out where to stay and survive mostly by theft, but you think you could do it.
  
  As the day grows darker while you struggle with your thoughts, you know you need to make a choice about what you're going to do. If you're going to leave or go back.
  
  > run away
  You're going to do it. You're running. No looking back. But where to go?
  
  You wonder if heading to the magic college might be a good idea as you've heard it's big and there probably would be a place you could hide out. Not to mention it would certainly have material where you could learn more magic. Perhaps even something that could help you control it better.
  
  Of course it's pretty late already and if you tried to get there right now, it would definitely be night. You still aren't sure of the exact directions to get there let alone where to go when you get there. Getting lost in the city or on the campus wouldn't be desirable.
  
  Your best bet would just be finding an abandoned building in your area and sacking out there at least for the night until you figured out something more long term. Not exactly ideal, but then again you're going to need to learn how to rough it soon anyway.
  
  You head towards the poorer part of the city where such places are easy to find. You're a little concerned for your safety of course, so you're looking all around expecting the worst.
  
  Eventually passing by several bums, drunks, and other disreputable looking types, you eventually think you find a relatively secluded place. It's a mostly boarded up house, but upon closer inspection, you see a small opening in the back of it that you can crawl into. You figure the worst thing you're going to encounter is maybe rats or potentially other children that have discovered it as well.
  
  There isn't much light other than some holes in the roof, but the floor seems pretty solid thankfully. You walk about some of the rooms and find that it's mostly empty with just a few pieces of broken furniture.
  
  You see a bed though that while dusty, doesn't look completely disgusting. You're so tired from the day you've had and you flop down on it. You start to close your eyes still going over things and your situation in your mind. You've got so much to do tomorrow. It's going to be difficult, but for now you need to sleep.
  
  You close your eyes and suddenly you feel a force holding your limbs down. You immediately open your eyes and see a figure looming over you, but you can't make out the face in the darkness.
  
  "Well, well, well. What do we have here? Another lost little lamb seeking shelter? Mmm, and such a pretty one as well. I'm going to have so much fun with you for a while. Don't bother getting up, I'll be joining you in bed shortly."
  
  Panic and fear overtakes you as you try to scream out, but you can't. This figure who obviously means to do you harm has magical powers much stronger than yourself. Never before have you felt so helpless and all you can do is hope all of this will go away and then everything goes black.
  
  You look around and find yourself back in the present, whatever that means in a place like this.
  
  Thankfully that wasn't how your life went. Something about the predator seemed a bit familiar, though you're pretty sure the encounter went a whole lot differently.
  
  After a bit of reflection on what just happened, you realize you'll have to try again to reconnect later. When will that be? You never can tell.
  
  But it'll happen again. You'll reunite with your beloved.
  
  It's only a matter of time.