text: [Themes: fantasy, humor]
  
  You wake up and grin. You did it. Your friends bet three cars that you wouldn't sleep in the haunted house and make it out alive. You're definitely alive. You look around and see the haunted store's giant lizard monsters. Wait a second! The haunted Radio Shack has no giant lizard monsters! It doesn't even have that weird whispering noise!
  
  "Attack the kitten! Yes go ahead and attack it! King Iwan Napee! It is your job to eat it! We will be invincible
  
  You push yourself back into a corner. This is definitely a room, but this is definitely not the haunted Radio Shack. You start to bite your fingernails, a bad habit. But that's when you realize that your fingernails are claws! Wait, what! You look at your hands, uh.. paws... You also have an urge to itch your ears with your feet! You've turned into a kitten! You look down to your belly. You're a kitten yes, a fat one. Too bad for you!
  
  for another year! Yes! Yes! Yes! Take it, take the fat thing! It doesn't know anything about us! The less curious
  
  One of the lizard beasts says to you, "Kitten! We are the Beasts! I am King Iwan and all twenty-eight of our endangered species will split you up and eat you!" They all lunge at you, but you jump up and hide behind them.
  
  the better! No! Don't let it get away! It might learn our secrets! Eat it so that we can all be invincible for a year!
  
  You look around again and spot a few other kittens camouflaged with the walls. You can smell them out, too. They're watching you. What the?! You think to yourself and think of a way to escape. Hmm...
  
  Do not let it know that our weakness is tomato sauce! Do not let it know! Don't let it think! Don't!"
  
  You spot three things. There are three knives stuck in a piece of sausage on a table, a miniature rocket ship fit for two small kittens in the corner, and a large frying pan hanging on the wall. What do you do?
  
  > get into the rocket!
  You immediately rush into the rocket just before the teeth of the Beasts snap your neck. To your surprise, there is a kitten with sunglasses dancing inside the rocket. Seeing as he's distracted, you rush to the control pad. You can feel the beasts shaking the rocket. There's only one thing to do.
  
  You flip switches and push buttons and pound on the control pad. Pounding on the pad, you accidentally punch the DO NOT PUNCH button. Uh-oh.
  
  The dancing kitten drops his sunglasses and his donuts and stares at you. "Did you just-"
  
  Before you can even shrug, the rocket explodes, one of the large pieces stabbing Beast King Iwan in the left eye. Uh-oh! That's not good. You are launched out of the window, but thankfully you have a parachute!
  
  You dive through the sky and breathe in fresh air. Aaaaaahhh, that's good. However, your parachute is ripped to pieces by a small piece of the rocket. Oh no! You look around frantically. Where do you want to try to land?
  
  > Land in the forest close by
  You bounce around on the leaves of a tree. You decide to bounce on it some more. Then you realize that leaves aren't bouncy. Who cares? You think and you jump up and down on the leaves.
  
  Then some grumpy voice shouts, "HEY! This is private property! These leaves are for the Mitten Factory! Wait a second! Stop right there!"
  
  You bounce off of the leaves and run as fast as you can. The police kitten runs at you and notices something on your shoulder. "Oh... If you're FAT, then you can stay around. Wait a second, all Feline Agent Troop members have the scale of a lizard on their shoulders!"
  
  "Tell me the truth!" The police kitten points a cane at you.
  
  > tell the truth no matter how crazy it is!
  You decide to tell the truth. You tell him everything from the day of your birth to the time you ate cheese on a dare and to the present time. The police kitten's eyes widen.
  
  "Wow, that's a story, kid! That's absolutely true! Only the most high ranking police know about all this mess. You're lucky kid. I'm a rebel who's against all that sacrifice mess."
  
  The police kitten rants about the FAT, an acronym for Feline Agent Troop. They are kittens who protect Earth from giant lizard monsters called Beasts. He also tells you that every year, the kittens take a human and turn them into a kitten as a sacrifice to the Beasts. He tells you that the sacrifice is just something to stall the Beasts for a bit while the FAT are trying to figure out all their secrets.
  
  "My name's Waldo, kid. If you need the police, just dial my number on the phone. The thing is, the only pay phone that can call me is at the Beast Tower, where you were." He gives you a phone number. Great!
  
  Waldo goes ahead and drives you to Mitten Village.
  
  > Mitten Village
  You're in Mitten Village, a strange little village with a mitten factory. Where do you go?
  
  > The Archery Arena
  When you walk in, an arrow flies at you. If only you could stop time!
  
  > Death
  You get up. "Wait, aren't I supposed to be dead?" You ask yourself, but nobody is there. You look around until a random old cat with huge whiskers appears, meditating.
  
  He looks at you and says calmly, "To go forwards you must first go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  "Go back..."
  
  You finally get annoyed ("Go back...") and you decide to meditate. After meditating for a week straight, you shudder. You feel like you can go back and solve everything, but there's also a way to end everything. What do you do?