text: [Themes: Surreal, Cave crawl, humor, meta]
  
  > Look around
  You are in the company break room, complete with the employee fridge, where you could store your lunch, if you had a lunch. Access corridors lead north, south, east, and west. Your supply closet is to the northwest, and the receptionist's office is to the northeast. Next to the safety and motivational posters, a pin-up calendar adorns the dingy wall, currently displaying Ms. July.
  
  > examine the fridge
  It's a large, white fridge, of the sort that decorates breakrooms everywhere. It makes an odd buzzing sound when it's running, and the temperature inside ranges from below the freezing point of water to just warm enough to completely melt butter. Optimistically, you assume that it lacks energy star certification only because it predates the time when energy conservation was understood to be an issue.
  
  > open the fridge
  Almost before the door opens, a dingy light comes on, illuminating the insides of the fridge.
  
  You open the refrigerator, revealing some tin cans, a sack and a plastic tub.
  
  > examine cans
  It's a large stack of tin cans, each labeled "That Looks More Like Hot Air Balloon Fuel Than Butter".
  
  > look at the sack
  An elongated brown sack, smelling of hot peppers. It came from a restaurant called the Heisenberg Cafe, whose slogan is "You Only Know What You Ordered Until It Gets There".
  
  > open the sack
  You open the sack, revealing a lunch and a clove of garlic.
  
  > read july
  What do you want to read in?
  
  > Flip calendar
  You flip ahead to August, revealing one Iris.
  
  > examine Iris
  It's a traditional pin-up calendar, the sort that decorates breakrooms everywhere, roughly two years old. It is currently displaying Ms. August, a certain Iris. She was quite the looker in her time.
  
  > Flip calendar
  You flip ahead to September, revealing one Auda.
  
  > look at Auda
  It's a traditional pin-up calendar, the sort that decorates breakrooms everywhere, roughly two years old. It is currently displaying Ms. September, a certain Auda. She was quite the looker in her time.
  
  > look at Elaine
  It's a traditional pin-up calendar, the sort that decorates breakrooms everywhere, roughly two years old. It is currently displaying Ms. October, a certain Governor Elaine Marley. She was quite the looker in her time.
  
  > Flip calendar
  You flip ahead to November, revealing one Tamara Lynd.
  
  > look at Tamara
  It's a traditional pin-up calendar, the sort that decorates breakrooms everywhere, roughly two years old. It is currently displaying Ms. November, a certain Tamara Lynd. She was quite the looker in her time.
  
  > Flip calendar
  You flip ahead to December, revealing one Meriday Beth Komor.
  
  > examine meriday
  It's a traditional pin-up calendar, the sort that decorates breakrooms everywhere, roughly two years old. It is currently displaying Ms. December, a certain Meriday Beth Komor.
  
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  "Meriday in the Morning"
  
  (& Meriday too!)
  
  (Copyright 1992-2002 Mike Jittlov and Meriday Beth Komor, used by kind permission)
  
  > Go northwest
  You can't leave the fridge open! It would waste energy.
  
  > close fridge
  As the door closes, the light goes out. Or does it?
  
  > go northwest
  If a man's home is his castle, then a janitor's supply closet is his outhouse. It's dingy and dirty, uncomfortable, and smelly, but you would be pretty uncomfortable if you couldn't come here occasionally. To the southeast is a room which, in the same metaphor, might be considered your dungeon.
  
  Proud and unbent, the mop stands in the corner; it calls to you.
  
  You can also see a cannister of orange smoke, some spare light bulbs, some dirty magazines and a bucket of dirty water (which is empty) here.
  
  > take all
  mop: Taken.
  cannister of orange smoke: The cannister of orange smoke was depleted during a fierce debate about the ownership of certain lunchy comestibles, and is of no interest.
  spare light bulbs: You take the top bulb off the stack.
  Taken.
  dirty magazines: Taken.
  bucket of dirty water: Taken.
  
  > examine magazines
  The dirty magazines appear to be wholly interchangeable, and furthermore stuck together.
  
  > examine the bucket
  The bucket contains some dingy grey water.