text: > look at your surroundings
  Now THIS Is My Kind of Dock, in the royal barge
  If I owned a pier on a major Martian canal, I'd want it to look
  just like this one -- handsome, well-proportioned, and amply endowed with jade and ivory. I could probably live without the alabaster stair which leads up at the end of the dock, to the east.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a secret map, a reliable torch (providing light), a coded message, a stool, a wicker basket, a matchbook, a scrap of paper, a blanket, a painting, a flashlight (providing light), a rule book (stuck in your back pocket) and a brass bikini (being worn). It seems that the wicker basket contains a stick of lip balm and a tray. Sitting on the tray is a hunk of chocolate.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You have a secret map, a reliable torch (providing light), a stool, a wicker basket, a matchbook, a scrap of paper, a blanket, a painting, a flashlight (providing light), a rule book (stuck in your back pocket) and a brass bikini (being worn). It seems that the wicker basket contains a coded message, a stick of lip balm and a tray. Sitting on the tray is a hunk of chocolate.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a secret map, a reliable torch (providing light), a stool, a wicker basket, a scrap of paper, a blanket, a painting, a flashlight (providing light), a rule book (stuck in your back pocket) and a brass bikini (being worn). It seems that the wicker basket contains a matchbook, a coded message, a stick of lip balm and a tray. Sitting on the tray is a hunk of chocolate.
  
  > examine the tray
  You can see a hunk of chocolate.
  
  > PUT MESSAGE, MATCHBOOK, SCRAP, BLANKET IN BASKET
  coded message: Done.
  matchbook: Done.
  scrap of paper: Done.
  blanket: Done.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a secret map, a reliable torch (providing light), a stool, a wicker basket, a flashlight (providing light), a rule book (stuck in your back pocket) and a brass bikini (being worn). It seems that the wicker basket contains a hunk of chocolate, a blanket, a scrap of paper, a matchbook, a coded message and a stick of lip balm.
  
  > Go east
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > go up
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a hidden passage leading upwards.
  
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany trails along.
  
  > go to the northwest
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  No living creature can even guess how long this storehouse has sat amidst the catacombs, undisturbed by man or by time, untouched by wars and weather, a silent witness to the passing eons, the rise and fall of empires, the births and deaths of countless billions, its only visitor the dark waters of a Martian canal.
  Sitting in one corner is a Cleveland telephone directory.
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  
  > take the directory
  Taken.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > Go northwest
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  
  > go west
  Clap.
  
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  
  > go north
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  This spot is much like the rest of the catacombs, except that a
  ladder leads up into the darkness.
  Tiffany follows you.
  
  > Go upwards
  You climb for a seemingly endless time, with the ladder becoming increasingly rickety. Suddenly a rung snaps, and you tumble into the darkness! You bounce painfully into a slanted ventilation shaft, slide through a wooden grating, and land amidst thousands of silk jockstraps.
  
  One of the less pleasant aspects of running a palace is the sheer volume of dirty laundry its occupants produce. Why, the 8379 husbands alone could keep a crew of cleaners sleepless. Add in the servants, cooks, gardeners, stablehands, jesters, visiting nobles, brothers-in-law in virtual permanent residence... Suffice it to say that there's one hell of a lot of dirty laundry here. You can barely see the exit to the north through it all.
  Today must be drying day at the laundry, since there's only one clothes pin left.
  Tiffany trails along.
  
  > take the pin
  Taken.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > put the pin in the basket
  Done.
  
  > Superbrief
  Super-brief descriptions.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany trails along.
  Clap.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany follows you.
  Clap.
  
  > Hop
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  Splash.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany trails along.
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a hidden passage leading downwards.
  
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  Clap.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  Clap.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany trails along.
  Clap.
  
  > Hop
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany follows you.
  Splash.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a hidden passage leading upwards.
  
  Tiffany trails along.
  Clap.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > Clap
  Taken.
  Clap.
  
  > Hop
  Tiffany follows you.
  Splash.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  Clap.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  
  > Hop
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a hidden passage leading downwards.
  
  Tiffany follows you.
  Splash.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany trails along.
  Clap.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany follows you.
  Clap.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > Hop
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany trails along.
  Splash.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  Tiffany follows you.
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  
  > Hop
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  
  Splash.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  
  Clap.
  The torch is noticeably dimmer.
  
  > Kweepa
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany trails along.
  
  A Martian hawk, hearing the cry of a possible mate, flies up and begins squawking and flapping a mating ritual. As it pauses to catch its breath, it takes a better look at you, rubs its eyes, and flies quickly away.
  
  > Clap
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  You're at a junction within an ancient, crumbling catacomb. Your torchlight pierces the gloom for only a few feet in each direction. As the result of an ancient leak, the catacombs are knee deep in warm, brackish canal water.
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  
  Clap.
  
  > go north
  You wade into the gloom ... and find a dark and winding tunnel.
  
  This spot is much like the rest of the catacombs, except that a
  ladder leads up into the darkness.
  Tiffany enters just a few steps behind you.
  
  > Go upward
  You climb for a seemingly endless time, with the ladder becoming increasingly rickety. Suddenly a rung snaps, and you tumble into the darkness! You bounce painfully into a slanted ventilation shaft, slide through a wooden grating, and land amidst thousands of silk jockstraps.
  
  One of the less pleasant aspects of running a palace is the sheer volume of dirty laundry its occupants produce. Why, the 8379 husbands alone could keep a crew of cleaners sleepless. Add in the servants, cooks, gardeners, stablehands, jesters, visiting nobles, brothers-in-law in virtual permanent residence... Suffice it to say that there's one hell of a lot of dirty laundry here. You can barely see the exit to the north through it all.
  Today must be drying day at the laundry, since there's only one clothes pin left.
  Tiffany follows you.
  "Phfffft!" The torch goes out.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You have a raft, a Cleveland phone book, a secret map, a stool, a wicker basket, a flashlight (providing light), a rule book (stuck in your back pocket) and a brass bikini (being worn). It seems that the wicker basket contains a clothes pin, a hunk of chocolate, a blanket, a scrap of paper, a matchbook, a coded message and a stick of lip balm.
  
  > look at the book
  [Which book do you mean, the Cleveland phone book, the matchbook, or the rule book?]
  
  > look at phone book
  It looks like every other Cleveland phone book you've ever seen.