text: > Look around
  Spiny, poky leaves weed their way through your clothing and stab you in uncomfortable and sensitive places.
  
  > leave
  Peter climbs out of the hedge. Meanwhile, back upstairs...
  
  Kitchenette (as Valerie)
  The kitchenette is a bland little room with rose print wallpaper and the constant smell of coffee and orange rinds. You do your best to keep the place tidy, but of course that's impossible with the 300 pound gorillas, also known as "co-workers," who sling their hairy bulk through here every day, leaving an unsightly mess. Since it's still morning, you can stand to look at the place without getting out the sponge and cleaning up. A coffee maker burbles in the corner.
  
  Melvin rotates into your field of view one awkward angle at a time. He bangs his akimbo elbows on the sides of the doorframe, making a horrible clanking noise on the metal. It doesn't seem to faze him.
  
  "Hey there, beautiful," he says in a syrupy voice.
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Hi, Melvin.
  2: (sigh) Hi, Melvin.
  3: (groan) Goodbye, Melvin.
  
  > 2
  You say, "(sigh) Hi, Melvin."
  
  "Hey, don't sound so negative," Melvin says. "I was just saying hello." He leans casually against the fridge, and it tilts, causing a clunk and
  
  > Bang akimbo elbows
  a splash noise inside. "Whoops," he says. "Don't worry about it. So, busy for lunch?"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: (groan) Goodbye, Melvin.
  2: Yeah, I've got big lunch plans. Sorry.
  3: If you don't clean up that fridge right now, it's going to cause a big problem for someone later. Namely, me.
  
  >>
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: (groan) Goodbye, Melvin.
  2: Yeah, I've got big lunch plans. Sorry.
  3: If you don't clean up that fridge right now, it's going to cause a big problem for someone later. Namely, me.
  
  > 3
  You say, "If you don't clean up that fridge right now, it's going to cause a big problem for someone later. Namely, me."
  
  Melvin says, "Come on, I know you love to clean things up. I just did you a favor. I just gave you an excuse for the next time you decide to take an extra break from your desk."
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: (groan) Goodbye, Melvin.
  
  > 1
  You say, "(groan) Goodbye, Melvin."
  
  "So I'll seeya later?" Melvin calls out as you leave. Brrr. Serves you right for trying to sneak an extra break from work. You steal back to your desk, hoping no one besides Melvin saw you so obviously slacking.
  
  Valerie's Desk (as Valerie)
  Your desk looked spiffy when you left it last night. By the time you got here this morning, the minions of evil had sneaked in and dropped off a messy pile of work. You've ignored it so far, but it's not really going to go away on its own. On your computer, though, is email that needs to be read.
  
  You can see a messy pile of work here.
  
  By the way, your phone is ringing.
  
  > answer the phone
  You answer the phone. It's your coworker Debra, wondering if you got any of her emails, but telling you never mind, because she figured it out by herself. Then she hangs up. Sweet Lord, when will you deliver us from idiot coworkers?
  
  Just as you hang up, you hear your name being yelled and see someone running up toward you.
  
  That cute young temp who started here a few weeks ago, whatsisname -- Peter? -- is red-faced and perspiring slightly. One of his shirtsleeves is twisted (you resist the urge to straighten it), and his collar is turned up. There are also a number of twigs and hedge leaves clinging to him.
  
  "I'm glad you're here!" Peter says brightly. "I really need to talk to somebody about what just happened to me!"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: A 'hello' would be nice.
  2: What did you do, get up on the wrong side of the flower bed this morning?
  3: Funny, I don't even remember buying a ticket for the 'Hear the secrets of a crazed Temp' lottery.
  
  > answer the phone
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: A 'hello' would be nice.
  2: What did you do, get up on the wrong side of the flower bed this morning?
  3: Funny, I don't even remember buying a ticket for the 'Hear the secrets of a crazed Temp' lottery.
  
  > 2
  You say, "What did you do, get up on the wrong side of the flower bed this morning?"
  
  "Whuh?" Peter asks. Well, it isn't so much of a question as it is a grunt. You help pick off a couple of the more prominent leaves. "Well, the leaves, right," he says. "That's not what I came to talk about, but it's part of it. Indirectly, I mean. I fell in a hedge."
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Why don't you go ahead and get to the point?
  2: You indirectly fell in a hedge?
  
  > 2
  You say, "You indirectly fell in a hedge?"
  
  "Well, I didn't plan on it when I went into the little secret door and ended up inside someone else's brain. Only when the second flash of light came did I fall into the hedge," Peter says. "But, here's the interesting part."
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: If that's the dull part, I'm guessing you left out the part about evil alien robots from dimension X who plan to take over the world from their headquarters at Red Hat.
  2: Yeah, yeah, whatever. How about dinner tonight?
  
  > 1
  You say, "If that's the dull part, I'm guessing you left out the part about evil alien robots from dimension X who plan to take over the world from their headquarters at Red Hat."
  
  Peter says, "No, the cool part, see, is that it was *Zarf's* head that I was inside!"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Yeah, yeah, whatever. How about dinner tonight?
  2: Who the hell is Zarf?
  
  > 2
  You say, "Who the hell is Zarf?"
  
  "You never heard of Zarf?" Peter asks. Then he pauses, thinks a moment, and says, "Hmm, I guess you wouldn't have. Never mind. Here's an idea. How about we go to dinner tonight, and we can talk more then?"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Okay. dinner it is.
  2: Can't do it tonight.
  
  > 1
  You say, "Okay. dinner it is."
  
  Peter says, "Excellent! But, first things first. Can you meet me after work up in the file room? I really want to show you something."
  
  Valerie says, "It's against my better judgment, but all right."
  
  Little do they suspect that Melvin, nearby, is spying on them and making plans of his own.Even littler do they suspect that Melvin is not what he seems...
  
  [Hit any key.]
  Around the Corner (as "Melvin")
  SCANNING cubicle_space(3,1,15):
  TERRAN_LIFEFORM targets(2):
  
  RECOGNIZE: ID(696095)["Peter Danielson Feeney"]
  dETAIL_LIST   New unit underling
  Problem report: DANGEROUS (watchflag)
  Problem report: ATTITUDE
  Resistant to authority. CONVERSE_MODE(shy,servile);
  
  RECOGNIZE: ID(344904)["Valerie Ann Michelle Conrad"]
  dETAIL_LIST   Established unit (no connection)
  Problem report: ATTITUDE
  Responds to authority.
  CONVERSE_MODE(extrovert,lecherous);
  
  SOUNDSCAN targets(344904,696095): Process... Process...
  696095: [Author's Note: Go FileRoom ] << Show 344904 OBJ_ID(0001001)[##Portal]
  >>
  344904: [Author's Note: accept order Go ]
  
  ANALYSIS: TERMINATE Action [Author's Note: Show ]
  #ifSucc [Author's Note: EXECUTE ORDER_ID(904)[##CoverUp] ]
  #else [Author's Note: TERMINATE ID(696095) ]
  
  NEXTACT:
  [1]FOLLOW
  [2]WAIT
  [3]KILL
  
  >>
  
  > 3
  *ERROR.
  [Author's Note: EXECUTE ORDER_ID(904)[##CoverUp] ] (inconclusive)
  
  [1]FOLLOW
  [2]WAIT
  [3]ERROR
  
  > 1
  FOLLOW MODE ACTIVE. --NOMINAL--
  
  Later that evening...
  
  [Hit any key.]
  File Room (as Valerie)
  The file room is one of your favorite rooms in the company building. One, it's always orderly and clean; and two, it doesn't sport brightly colored IKEA furniture. It's businesslike and efficient. There's even a window to give the area a sense of openness.
  
  Peter is standing here, pacing, when you arrive. "What took you? Didn't we say 6:30?" Peter asks.
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Sorry I'm late.
  2: Okay, so show me this amazing file cabinet of yours.
  
  > 1
  You say, "Sorry I'm late."
  
  "Sorry I'm late," you say to Peter. "I had to ditch Melvin. He kept hanging around the elevators. I finally faked him out and took the stairs. It's like he was trying to intercept me."
  
  "Melvin? Really?" Peter says, looking worried. "I was wondering who put the file cabinet back."
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Okay, so show me this amazing file cabinet of yours.
  
  > 1
  You say, "Okay, so show me this amazing file cabinet of yours."
  
  "Okay, so show me this amazing file cabinet of yours," you tell Peter. "I'm starving."
  
  Peter says, "Here's what you do. Go to file cabinet Z-Y and try to open it."
  
  > open the Z-y
  You try to open the cabinet, but it seems to be stuck shut.
  
  "It's stuck," you say.
  
  "Give it a good pull," says Peter.
  
  > Continue
  You try to open the cabinet, but it seems to be stuck shut.
  
  > pull the Z-the y.
  You yank on the drawer, and it flies clean out of the cabinet, sending you spilling backwards. Loose folders slide out in a snaky line sideways across the floor, emptying their contents in all directions.
  
  "Egad!" yells Peter. "That didn't happen last time!"
  
  "Well, it did this time," you tell Peter. "Help me clean up the papers."
  
  > examine the door
  You should probably clean up the scattered papers first.
  
  > Clean
  What do you want to clean?
  
  > Clean papers
  As you both lean down to clean up the papers, you see a pair of shoes enter the room from the darkened hallway. Perched in the shoes is a pair of stilts. Balanced on the stilts is a kind of potato head with Melvin's face on it. In other words, Melvin is standing here.
  
  "Do you two want to tell me what you're doing here?" Melvin asks.
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: No.
  2: Practicing the Lambada.
  3: Smooching.
  4: It's none of your business, Melvin.
  
  > 2
  You say, "Practicing the Lambada."
  
  Melvin says, "Mmm. The Forbidden Dance. Appropriate, considering this is the second time today, Peter, that you've been playing around with private company property, against the rules."
  
  Peter says, "Geez, Melvin. What's gotten into you? Suddenly you've grown a pair."
  
  Melvin ignores Peter and kicks some of the papers with his toe. "Why don't you two put things back where you found them, and I won't have to report this?"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Okay. Sorry.
  
  > pull the Z-the y.
  The cabinet is already out of the way.
  
  > 3
  You say, "Smooching."
  
  Melvin looks at you with a leer and says, "Tut-tut-tut Valerie. You're quite the little flirt today, aren't you? Did she tell you, Peter, how she came on to me today in the snack room?"
  
  Peter looks at you. "Eww!"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Buzz off, creep.
  2: Say that again and I'll bust your fricking head open.
  3: I demand an apology. Now.
  4: Okay, Melvin. You just won yourself a sexual harrassment suit. I'll see you in court.
  
  > 4
  You say, "Okay, Melvin. You just won yourself a sexual harrassment suit. I'll see you in court."
  
  Melvin isn't fazed. He kicks some of the papers with his toe. "I could report this as company espionage. That's what it looks like to me."
  
  Peter says, "Hey, be cool, Melvin. It was just an accident. I spilled a cabinet and Valerie offered to help me clean up."
  
  Melvin looks at you. "Just an innocent spill. This is the second time today that cabinet has 'innocently' spilled open."
  
  "So I'm clumsy," says Peter, shrugging.
  
  Melvin says, "Why don't you two put things back where you found them, and I won't have to report this?"
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Okay. Sorry.
  
  > 1
  You say, "Okay. Sorry."
  
  "Okay, Melvin," says Peter.
  
  "Sorry," you say through gritted teeth.
  
  Melvin folds his clanky arms and waits impatiently for you to finish cleaning up the scattered papers, his red little eyes sweeping back and forth between you and Peter like a Cylon's.
  
  > Clean papers
  Melvin watches as you pick up the scattered folders and papers and shove them into the open cabinet. Peter puts the YZ cabinet back against the wall.
  
  "There, Melvin," Peter says.
  
  Melvin says, "Okay, now get out."
  
  > examine Melvin
  Melvin seemed harmless enough at first, but lately he's been giving you the definite creeps. For one thing, he doesn't work anywhere near your station, yet you seem to meet him two or three times a day. You're starting to get the feeling that he's obsessing about you, and you're starting to lose your ability to be nice to him.
  
  > Go outside
  Melvin watches as you exit the building. You leave him behind at the entrance and walk a safe distance away.
  
  "Well, that was weird. I've never seen Melvin act like that," Peter says.
  
  "Really?" you ask. "He's always seemed a sort of a creep to me."
  
  "Is there any way we can sneak back in, do you think?"
  
  "Really?" asks Peter.
  
  "Yeah. Now I'm curious. If Melvin hadn't showed up like that, I wouldn't have believed you really found something. Now I want to see what it is." "Won't Melvin be watching?"
  
  "He can't sit there all night," you say. "He has to go home at some point, right?" "Should we go to dinner first?"
  
  "Nah. Let's just go for it. Come on. Melvin doesn't really have any authority over me, anyway."
  
  Peter says, "Excellent."
  
  And so ...
  
  [Hit any key.]
  File Room
  The file room is one of your favorite rooms in the company building. One, it's always orderly and clean; and two, it doesn't sport brightly colored IKEA furniture. It's businesslike and efficient. There's even a window to give the area a sense of openness. Early moonlight peeks in, drawing a long amber trapezoid on the carpet.
  
  Peter is here.
  
  Peter says, "Okay, I don't see him. Let's be careful this time." He moves the Z-Y cabinet quietly aside to reveal a strange little door in the wall.
  
  What would you like to say? [0 to cancel]
  1: Whoa.
  
  > 1
  You say, "Whoa."
  
  Peter says, "Go on in. It's safe. If all goes well, I'll meet you by the hedge in a few minutes."
  
  "Which hedge?" you ask. "How will I find you?"
  
  "Trust me on this one," says Peter.
  
  > open the door
  A hush of ancient air, tinged with organic sweetness, flows out of the opened portal.
  
  > examine the door
  The strange secret door is only about three feet high, and painted a shade of crimson. Gold flecks in the paint give it a sparkly, almost magical appearance.
  
  > enter door
  You pass through the portal into a dark tunnel, which sighs with melodic longing as you enter.
  
  You are on your hands and knees in a claustrophobic tunnel. It leads down, as nearly as you can tell, but your equilibrium is distorted in here. The curving walls gleam with the semblance of wet rock, but the palms of your hands tell a different story. It feels like organic tissue, a thick layer of hide, with the elastic strength of muscle. Like sharkskin, it is silken and slick in one direction but resists any backwards movement with a roughened grain.