text: > look at your surroundings
  This is where "the magic" happens ... if, by "magic", you mean crying yourself to sleep at night while listening to your stomach growl. To make ends meet a few months ago you pawned your bed frame, but kept the mattress. (You would have pawned the mattress too, but "apparently" it had one stain too many.) In the corner is your closet. Your small bathroom is to the EAST. Your living room is back NORTH.
  
  You can see a mattress here.
  
  > unlock the front door with the house key
  That's unlocked at the moment.
  
  > open the door
  You open the front door.
  
  > Go north
  Like the inside of your house, the front porch is small and cozy. When you first moved in you bought a small chair and placed it on the porch with dreams of spending your evenings drinking beer and enjoying the scenery. You ran out of money for beer months ago, and the scenery consists of the dog across the street that continually barks and neighborhood kids that give you the finger everytime they see you. These days the porch serves as a place to put your chair and mount your mailbox. Your driveway is EAST from here; your house is back to the SOUTH.
  
  The front door is open, potentially letting in heat, flies, and bill collectors.
  
  You can also see a mailbox (which is closed) and a man here.
  
  > examine man
  Wearing a black suit, white shirt, black tie, black gloves and sunglasses, the man looks more like one of the Blues Brothers than a door-to-door salesman. He certainly doesn't look like any bill collector you've ever seen, and you've seen your share. The man looks more like one of the Men in Black, and not in a funny "Will Smith" kind of way. In his left hand, the man carries a clipboard.
  
  > look at the mailbox
  The mailbox is small and rusty. Although all you get are bills and collection notices these days, this used to be where your Netflix movies arrived. Boy, you sure miss Netflix. With over 60,000 titles and 20 million members in the United States and Canada, Netflix is the world's leading Internet subscription service for enjoying movies and TV shows. For $7.99 a month, Netflix members can instantly watch unlimited movies and TV episodes streamed over the Internet to PCs, Macs and TVs. Among the large and expanding base of devices streaming from Netflix are Microsoft's Xbox 360, Nintendo's Wii and Sony's PS3 consoles; an array of Blu-ray disc players, Internet-connected TVs, home theater systems, digital video recorders and Internet video players; Apple's iPhone, iPad and iPod touch, as well as Apple TV and Google TV. In all, more than 200 devices that stream from Netflix are available in the U.S. and a growing number are available in Canada.
  
  (This mailbox was sponsored by Netflix. To sponsor an object in one of my upcoming games, please contact me.)
  
  > open the mailbox
  You open the mailbox, revealing some bills.
  
  > examine the bills
  Bills, bills, and more bills. Most days, you don't even read them; by not opening them, you're hoping to claim "plausible deniability".
  
  > talk to the man
  0: Say nothing.
  1: "Can I help you?"
  2: "Beat it, Elwood."
  
  > lock the door
  What do you want to say to the man?
  
  > 1
  Enter a number between 0 and 2.
  
  "Can I help you?", you ask the man.
  
  "On the contrary, I believe it is I who can help you," the man says. Either this guy is a complete weirdo, or he's doing a perfect impression Agent Smith from The Matrix. "I have been sent by The Agency." (By the way he says "The Agency", you assume the words would be capitalized if you ever saw them in print.) We've had your application on file for quite some time now. Are you still looking for work?
  
  0: Say nothing.
  1: "Absolutely."
  2: "I don't know ... this is kind of creepy."
  3: "Definitely not."
  
  > 2
  What do you want to say to the man?
  
  "I don't know ... this is kind of creepy," you say to the man.
  
  "My apologies," says the man. "English is not my first language. We received your application from a government job fair you attended several months ago. We have an immediate opening for a skilled programmer, and we think you would be perfect for the job. We can talk more about your salary tomorrow, but the position comes with a six-figure signing bonus, which," the man says as he peers past you into your home with no electricity, "I assume is more than you're making at the moment. I'm sorry if I came off the wrong way. How about it, can we count on you?"
  
  0: Say nothing.
  1: "I'm in."
  2: "I'm out."
  
  > 1
  "I'm in," you say to the man.
  
  "Perrr-r-r-r," the man says, sounding like a bad robot impersonation. The man's suit, in combination with the hot summer sun, has caused him to begin sweating. Is that silver sweat? Or is the guy wearing makeup? Something's definitely not right with this dude. "Perfect," the man manages to say on his second attempt. The man proceeds to muster up the weirdest looking smile you have ever seen -- it's like the guy learned how to smile by looking at pictures of people smiling poorly. "We look forward to seeing you tomorrow."
  
  As you extend your hand in an attempt to shake hands with Captain Creepazoid, he places a business card into it. "The address is on the card."
  
  You look down and see the business card in your hand. When you look up again, you see the man has vanished.
  
  > look at the card
  With black letters printed on an off-white card stock, the business card is as stark as it is bold. "HANGAR 22. 8062 ELM STREET." (And as your grandpa once told you, "Every town has an Elm Street." Wait, that wasn't your grandpa, that was Freddy Krueger from Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.)
  
  > close the door
  You close the front door.
  
  > lock the door
  What do you want to lock the front door with?