text: [Themes: Cave crawl, Humor]
  
  > Look around
  This cave has an exit leading outside to the south, or you can go further into the mountain to the north.
  A small fire is burning here.
  A tough-looking dwarf, wearing chain mail and a helmet, is sitting on the floor near the fire. He is holding an axe almost as big as himself. He is chewing on a short bone.
  The skeleton of a donkey is lying here.
  
  You can see the goblin sidekick here.
  
  > give the grail to the dwarf
  The dwarf grabs the grail, stuffs it inside his chain mail, and pulls out five gold coins that he throws to you. He stomps out the fire. Then he walks away to the south.
  
  > Go north
  An extremely bright light comes from an exit to the north. There is also an exit to the south.
  A red automat, hundred of meters tall, stands in the middle of the cave. Despite the insane magnitude of the machine, its money-slot and buttons are normal-sized and placed at normal height. The merchandise-slot is also close to the floor, but huge enough to hold a horse. You have come across these automats before. Several companies have recently begun placing them in dangerous places, for adventurers who need equipment. They are easy to use; just buy something. Something is written on the automat next to the buttons.
  A huge pile of fish bones lies near a wall.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  > buy the wheelbarrow
  You put the coins in the slot and push the appropriate button. There is some rumbling from the machine. Then a wheelbarrow falls down in the slot, and bounces out onto the cave floor.
  
  > put the diamond on the wheelbarrow
  You put the diamond into the wheelbarrow. Afterwards it's only a matter of days before you have managed to transport the diamond back to the Adventurer's Consumer Guide's headquarters. Your mission is accomplished.
  
  > go to the west
  An extremely bright light comes from this cave's only exit to the east. It is terribly hot here. The intolerable temperature is almost certainly caused by the red-hot stone oven standing in a corner.
  A stone table stands in the middle of the cave. Round it stands a stone throne with an old troll, a stone chair with a tall troll, a stone stool with a short troll, and a large stone. The trolls look a bit like humans made of stone, though with no necks, bigger jaws, smaller eyes and huge arms and hands. They are drinking lava from large stone mugs and playing some kind of card game.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  "Hey, what happened to the golem? you ask.
  "Ur, remember when there was that terrible scream?" says a troll. "Right afterwards the golem just crumbled to dust."
  
  > talk to old Troll
  "That was a fun game," you say. The old troll sulks.
  
  > Go east
  This cave has exits to the north, east, south and west.
  A stone pedestal as tall as you stands in a corner.
  
  There is a little blood here.
  
  A diamond the size of your chest lies in the middle of the cave. A tremendous light shines out from it and fills the entire cave.
  
  You can also see a wheelbarrow (which is empty) here.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  > Go north
  An extremely bright light comes from this cave's only exit to the south.
  Some runes are written on the wall.
  A hippoman, half man, half hippo, stands knitting something yellow. He is fat, purple and has two very thick legs. He is wearing your helmet and a yellow wool suit.
  A young angry-looking woman wearing a yellow wool jacket and yellow wool gloves, stands holding a large placard saying "Save the carrot fairy!" She is clearly one of those monster rights activists that have been making your job so much harder lately.
  The gremlin has climbed quite high up on the wall. He is a small green humanoid creature with pointy ears. He is wearing a tiny ring and a yellow woolen cap and is smoking a tiny cigarette.
  A carrot with tiny wings flies around. Its arms and legs look like those of a human, only much smaller. It has no head or face. It is wearing a yellow woolen scarf. A steady shower of shimmering sparks falls from all over its body; each spark disappears before hitting the ground.
  A large metal chest stands up against a wall. It is open and empty.
  A large machine is at the back of the cave. Its mechanisms looks very complex. Actually it is very easy to use. You know this because on a previous product-testing mission you came across a machine just like it and spend four hours trying to figure out how it worked. The machine is for sharpening tools and weapons. Just put what you want sharpened into it and wait.
  
  There is quite a lot of blood here.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  > Go south
  This cave has an exit leading outside to the south, or you can go further into the mountain to the north.
  The skeleton of a donkey is lying here.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  > Go south
  The end of a narrow mountain ledge leading west. The tall mountain wall has three caves: to the northwest, north and northeast.
  The ground is covered in snow.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  > stand on the teleporter
  The goblin gets on the teleporter.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The sound gets even louder. A few electrical sparks shoots up from the teleporter. The goblin giggles.
  
  > stand on the teleporter
  You get on the teleporter.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The teleporter starts shaking and smoking. The cave begins to fade out around you, and another cave fades in.
  
  This cave has an exit to the east. In the middle of the floor is a round hole.
  A huge monster skeleton lies here, with an elf skeleton in its mouth.
  
  The goblin begins to fade in next to you. You look down at yourself. You seem unsubstantial, like a ghost. Slowly you begin to take on a more solid form. Now you look normal.
  
  > go to the northwest
  You are not testing the Suspenders That Let You Walk Through Walls on this trip; that was seven months ago. Just as well, they stopped working very suddenly. You were stuck for a week. If those dwarves had decided to build their new mine anywhere else, you might never have gotten out.
  
  > go to the east
  This cave has exits to the west and northwest.
  A goblin woman is standing here. She is wearing a medallion, winter boots, a long fur coat and a round fur hat. She is carrying a purse. You are not quite sure, but with her long ears, sharp yellow teeth, and big feet you think she is pretty cute by goblin standards. She is holding your magical crossbow.
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  "Well, hello there!" says the female goblin and smiles.
  
  "Uh, hi," says the goblin, his cheeks turning a darker shade of green. They seem distracted.
  
  > Go west
  "Come along now," you say to the goblin as you leave.
  
  This cave has an exit to the east. In the middle of the floor is a round hole.
  A huge monster skeleton lies here, with an elf skeleton in its mouth.
  
  The goblin reluctantly walks in from the east, throwing several glances over his shoulder.
  
  > go to the northwest
  This cave has an exit southeast to the outside, or you could go further into the mountain to the northwest.
  A somewhat larger than life-size statue of his holiness One-Hand Jack stands in the middle of the cave. Jack used to be an infamous pirate, but later formed Hoverism, a peaceful religion. The statue holds its left arm out and up, the hook at the end of it just low enough to be reached. The statue's head is gone.
  An old Hoverist is hovering about a meter above the floor. He is sitting in the lotus position, his head is turned towards the statue, and his eyes are closed. He is wearing a white loincloth. Somebody has hung some Christmas ornaments on him.
  Several fragments from the safe are lying here.
  
  Though you cannot see it, you know that a Hustlespleen & Poe Coat of Invisibility hangs on the hook. It is supposed to turn visible (or turn invisible again) whenever you say the magic word "tango".
  
  The goblin comes running after you.
  
  > take the ornaments
  Never mind the Christmas ornaments.