text: [Themes: Abuses, based on songs]
  
  > look at the box
  It's about three feet wide by a foot tall, with four small cubical nooks labeled a/b/c/d. The words "Box of Tangents" are engraved over the four nooks, which currently show nothing--they're all empty.
  
  On the left side there's a compass, which has not just eight but sixteen directions, currently flipping wildly around, and a small line of text below says PLEASE INSERT NUMBER IN APPROPRIATE NOOK.
  
  [Author's Note: A game that forces you off on tangents as you try to turn around. An experiment in parser, but hopefully not player, abuse.]
  
  > examine ghost
  He's got the bedsheet and the inner peace thing going, just lying in wait for you to start a conversation.
  
  > talk to the ghost
  "I thought you'd never ask." You're not sure if he cared WHAT you asked about, or even if you were asking. "It wasn't all your fault I died, you know. But you contributed to it by BORING me with...well, I didn't have to bang my head until I...that's not important. Main thing, I've forgiven you, but I can't take the next step up--you know--until I help you understand. Understand why I wanted to read that logic book instead of talking to you. Oh, and they made me give you something. But it's nothing, really."
  
  And it is. It's a big fat zero. Or, rather, a wooden cube mostly plain except for a big fat zero on one face.
  
  "It'll help you get to some logic puzzles ahead. Don't worry--they're tricky, but not lethally boring. Ahem. Oh, apparently I also have to give you help if you get stuck too long...part of gaining my wings."
  
  He disappears through the chalkboard to the north.
  
  > look at the chalkboard
  The scrawlings on the blackboard are disturbingly incoherent, but what's behind it may be worse.
  
  > About yourself
  You're in your jogging outfit, a full grey sweatsuit.
  
  > put zero in nook a.
  Weird. A magnetic field's repelling it. Try another nook?
  
  > look in the nook a.
  This is a logic problem, not a treasure hunt. Examine what you need to, instead.
  
  > look at the nook a.
  Nook a is empty.
  
  > put zero in the nook b.
  The Big Fat Zero fits in with a magnetic snap.
  
  > examine the compass
  It is currently pointing east.
  
  > Go east
  The room's disappointingly bare for your average New Location. You can only go back west here.
  
  That magic square hanging in the air must be your first puzzle. It's probably worth having a look.
  
  > examine the square
  "Maybe you've seen this before, maybe you haven't," says the ghost's voice. "Put the numbers one through nine so that all diagonals, rows and columns add up to the same number. If you're nice, I'll even tell you that nu...well, okay, it's gotta be one third of the sum of 'em all. Just say UL 3 or CR 6 or whichever to place a number. Or set it to zero to clear it. Or RESET for the whole board."
  
  |
  U 0  0  0 |  0
  C 0  0  0 |  0
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  0  0  0    0
  
  > UL 8
  You change the UL panel to 8.
  
  |
  U 8  0  0 |  8
  C 0  0  0 |  0
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  8  0  0    8
  
  The ghost kibitzes a bit: "Hm, putting a number in the center first could be useful. If you're careful, you might even see some don't work."
  
  > Uc 1
  You change the UC panel to 1.
  
  |
  U 8  1  0 |  9
  C 0  0  0 |  0
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  8  1  0    8
  
  Your friend the ghost's voice breezes through again: "Hm, yes, the corners are a good idea, too."
  
  > Ur 6
  You change the UR panel to 6.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 0  0  0 |  0
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  8  1  6    8
  The ghost, once more:
  "Last thing I can tell you. Technically, if you have 3 numbers not in a line, you can deduce the others."
  
  > Lc 3
  You change the CL panel to 3.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 3  0  0 |  3
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  11  1  6    8
  
  > Cc 5
  You change the CC panel to 5.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 3  5  0 |  8
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  11  6  6   13
  
  > Rc 7
  You change the CR panel to 7.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 3  5  7 | 15
  D 0  0  0 |  0
  +
  11  6 13   13
  
  > Ld 4
  You change the DL panel to 4.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 3  5  7 | 15
  D 4  0  0 |  4
  +
  15  6 13   13
  
  > Dc 9
  You change the DC panel to 9.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 3  5  7 | 15
  D 4  9  0 | 13
  +
  15 15 13   13
  
  > Dr 2
  You change the DR panel to 2.
  
  |
  U 8  1  6 | 15
  C 3  5  7 | 15
  D 4  9  2 | 15
  +
  15 15 15   15
  
  "Congratulations! You've figured one puzzle out. Have this Plain Old One, for completing your first puzzle--rather plain, but instructive."
  
  > put one in a
  (the Plain Old One in nook a)
  Weird. A magnetic field's repelling it. Try another nook?
  
  > put one in the C
  (the Plain Old One in nook c)
  Weird. A magnetic field's repelling it. Try another nook?
  
  > put one in the d.
  (the Plain Old One in nook d)
  The Plain Old One fits in with a magnetic snap.
  
  > examine the compass
  It is currently flipping wildly around.
  
  > Go northeast
  Another side room, another dead end. You can go back southwest.
  
  "Not bad. This one's a bit trickier, but it isn't. Only so many possibilities, but it's easy to "eliminate" the right one. You know how pawns in chess move? Forward, but capture diagonally? You'll need to make a queen here. Have a look at the board. Fail all you want. I've got time. Oh, just use algebraic notation--you know? a6 for a pawn to move ahead, a5-b6 to capture? Can't do anything snazzy like bc yet. Sorry."
  
  You can see a chessboard here.
  
  > look at the chessboard
  You (white) have the pieces in lower case, and black's are in UPPER BOLD.
  . . . . . . . . 8
  b b b . . . . . 7
  . . . . . . . . 6 B=black king W=white king
  w w w . . . . . 5
  . . . . . . . . 4
  . . . B . . . . 3 b=black pawn w=white pawn
  . . . . . . . . 2
  . . . . W . . . 1
  a b c d e f g h
  
  > B6
  . . . . . . . . 8
  b b b . . . . . 7
  . w . . . . . . 6 B=black king W=white king
  w . w . . . . . 5
  . . . . . . . . 4
  . . . B . . . . 3 b=black pawn w=white pawn
  . . . . . . . . 2
  . . . . W . . . 1
  a b c d e f g h
  
  He says, "I guess I have to take. Kings so far away, it shouldn't matter."
  
  He moves his pawn from a7 to b6, taking one of your pawns.
  
  . . . . . . . . 8
  . b b . . . . . 7
  . b . . . . . . 6 B=black king W=white king
  w . w . . . . . 5
  . . . . . . . . 4
  . . . B . . . . 3 b=black pawn w=white pawn
  . . . . . . . . 2
  . . . . W . . . 1
  a b c d e f g h
  
  "So many moves. One may be right."
  
  > C6
  . . . . . . . . 8
  . b b . . . . . 7
  . b w . . . . . 6 B=black king W=white king
  w . . . . . . . 5
  . . . . . . . . 4
  . . . B . . . . 3 b=black pawn w=white pawn
  . . . . . . . . 2
  . . . . W . . . 1
  a b c d e f g h
  
  He smirks a bit. "Well, you're not being boring."
  
  He moves his pawn from b7 to c6, taking one of your pawns.
  
  . . . . . . . . 8
  . . b . . . . . 7
  . b b . . . . . 6 B=black king W=white king
  w . . . . . . . 5
  . . . . . . . . 4
  . . . B . . . . 3 b=black pawn w=white pawn
  . . . . . . . . 2
  . . . . W . . . 1
  a b c d e f g h
  
  "Three to one. Better have something good."
  
  > A6
  . . . . . . . . 8
  . . b . . . . . 7
  w b b . . . . . 6 B=black king W=white king
  . . . . . . . . 5
  . . . . . . . . 4
  . . . B . . . . 3 b=black pawn w=white pawn
  . . . . . . . . 2
  . . . . W . . . 1
  a b c d e f g h
  
  "Very good."
  
  He mutters something about your king blocking his king out, the queen mopping up the pawns... "You do know how to checkmate with a queen? Pin the king to g1/h1 and walk your king in? Good. Thought so. That's all detail work. Stuff that'd bore you."
  
  As you start pointing at the board to figure what he says, the board folds up of its own accord and vanishes.
  
  "Congratulations! You sacrificed to win this, so take this very valuable minus sign."
  
  > look at the strip
  It makes the zero look like a fridge magnet or something.
  
  > put the minus in the a.
  (nook a)
  The standard-issue minus sign fits in with a magnetic snap.
  
  > put one in the b.
  (the Plain Old One in nook b)
  The Plain Old One fits in with a magnetic snap.
  
  > look at the box
  It's about three feet wide by a foot tall, with four small cubical nooks labeled a/b/c/d. The words "Box of Tangents" are engraved over the four nooks, which currently show -1__.
  
  On the left side there's a compass currently pointing northwest, and a small line of text below says NUMBERS AND OPERATORS PROPERLY POSITIONED.
  
  > Go northwest
  Another dead-end room protruding from the Origin...the passage northwest ends shortly. Man, there aren't a lot of bendy passages here. Eh well, less puzzles that way.
  
  You can see a panel of lights here.
  
  > examine the panel
  It's got a big reset button off to the side. You would assume that would turn all the lights in the 3x5 grid below off. You can push a panel simply by saying, for instance, 1-3.
  
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 1
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 2
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 3
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > say 0-0
  (to yourself)
  
  > 0-0
  After you touched tile 0-0, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| | | 1
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 2
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 3
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  "Wow! There are 32,768 total configuration--two to the fifteenth. Well, you can eliminate a few. And a bunch are mirror images and so forth."
  
  > 0-1
  After you touched tile 0-1, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*| | | 2
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 3
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 1-3
  After you touched tile 1-3, five changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 1-2
  After you touched tile 1-2, five changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 3
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  "In case you were wondering, there's no wrong top row--or bottom. That cuts it down to 4,096."
  
  > 0-0
  After you touched tile 0-0, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 3
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 2-0
  After you touched tile 2-0, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 3
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 0-4
  After you touched tile 0-4, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 2-4
  After you touched tile 2-4, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  "Fortunately there are really only three solutions...excluding mirror images."
  
  > 1-0
  After you touched tile 1-0, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 1-4
  After you touched tile 1-4, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 0-3
  After you touched tile 0-3, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  | |*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  | |*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 2-3
  After you touched tile 2-3, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 2
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 1-1
  After you touched tile 1-1, five changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 2
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 1-2
  After you touched tile 1-2, five changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 0-2
  After you touched tile 0-2, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| | | 1
  +-+-+-+
  | | |*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 2-2
  After you touched tile 2-2, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  "You can work out a solution one row at a time."
  
  > 0-1
  After you touched tile 0-1, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*| | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | |*|*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 2-1
  After you touched tile 2-1, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*| |*| 0
  +-+-+-+
  | | | | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 1-0
  After you touched tile 1-0, four changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 0
  +-+-+-+
  | |*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 0-0
  After you touched tile 0-0, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*| | | 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*| | 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  > 2-0
  After you touched tile 2-0, three changed overall. Here's how the board looks now...
  
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 0
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 1
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 2
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 3
  +-+-+-+
  |*|*|*| 4
  +-+-+-+ (Note: * means a light is on.)
  
  You solved it with 21 tries!
  
  You hear the ghost's voice again.
  
  "Very interesting. You went in for something asymmetric. It's actually the quickest way. Hm--do you know something?"
  
  "But no matter which of the three ways you did this, they're all worthy. Now I present you with a choice--you can take this division sign and run. Or you can take the square root of two. It'll mean three more puzzles--but maybe you have the hang of it now."
  
  > get the sqrt
  The division sign vanishes in a puff of smoke. "Congratulations. You've just taken on three more puzzles, now. Oh, by the way, there's a new hint in room 315."
  
  Well, you've made your choice--a brave one.