text: > Go downwards
  Ser Leonhart follows you to the second storey landing. You can continue down to the storey below or go west to the hallway.
  
  > go west
  Ser Leonhart follows you down the hallway. There is a closed door to the north and a balcony to the west. A memorandum has been nailed to the northern door.
  
  > Smell northern door
  You sniff the door, and Ser Leonhart tries to open it. Discovering it's locked, he instead attempts to read the memo. You think it the perfect opportunity for a short nap.
  
  And yet, before you can settle down and descend into slumber, the knight recognises two of the memo's many words and shouts in triumph. "Princess Joy is here! We must free the princess from her prison!"
  
  From inside the room comes the scratchy tenor of an adolescent male. "Who goes there?"
  
  Ser Leonhart rises to his full height, holding a fist against his chest. "Princess Joy, be those your dulcet tones passing through yonder door? Let not despair linger a moment longer in your heart, for it is I, Ser Leonhart, who have come to rescue you from the clutches of the evil wizard. Allow me to escort you away, to wherever your heart desires."
  
  There is a significant pause before the next response, this time a squeaky falsetto. "Yes, (some sounds of a clearing throat) yes, my brave and glorious knight, I'm most certainly Princess Joy. Prithee, uh—grant me a moment to make myself decent." This is followed by
  some
  frantic shuffling and the rustling of fabric.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes.
  
  > Smell northern door
  You sniff the door, and Ser Leonhart tries to open it. It's locked. You remember the ring of keys on the knight's belt.
  
  > Smell keys
  You sniff the keys. Ser Leonhart tries each one in the lock until, at last, it turns. He charges through the door, and you hurry in after him.
  
  You know a few things about the bedrooms of teenage girls, but you never expected to see one here. Of particular note is a brightly lit vanity covered in wigs, ersatz jewellery and one specially large and overflowing box of makeup. An open wardrobe is full of dresses and capes and boas and heels. On the walls are posters of boy bands like 5 Seconds of Winter and Four Directions (before they broke up, naturally). The largest poster of them all is of Zifmia the Adventurer, mayhap the kingdom's most famous and subversive drag queen, clad all in leather, with her crown askew and her makeup artfully smeared.
  
  In the centre of the room waits the wizard's son, Tristain, wearing the pinkest and fluffiest dress you have ever seen. His arms are crossed over his chest, partly to disguise his lack of a bust and partly to hold up the dress (being unable to lace the back by himself). His blonde shake-and-go wig is painfully dry, his contouring is a touch too harsh and his left eyelash is only partially glued. Despite all these flaws, you have to give him credit for producing such an effort in so little time.
  
  Ser Leonhart, meanwhile, is starstruck. "Your Highness," he says, sinking to one knee and bowing his head. "I have heard tales of your beauty, but mere words cannot describe the magnificence of your presence. You are a vision of Lunara herself, goddess of the moon, of beauty, elopements and gin. Would you do me the honour of accompanying you home?"
  
  "Home?" Tristain-as-Joy starts, but he immediately corrects himself. "Why home, yes, of course, Ser Knight. Give me a few minutes to pack my things. Any of my dresses left behind are likely to be tossed into the nearest fireplace by my fa—er, I mean, what did you call him again? Oh yes, the evil wizard."
  
  "I shall not leave your side for an instant," says the knight, drawing his sword and preparing to stand guard, but Tristain ushers him towards the door.
  
  "Be not so silly. There is no reason for you to watch me sort through my unmentionables. I shall meet you down in the foyer. Yes, that sounds like a brilliant plan, I'm so glad you thought of it. Off you go!" And before Ser Leonhart can protest, Tristain has you both (with a curious but passing glance in your direction) out the door.
  
  On your way out, you notice Hero 5 falling and landing on the stone sill outside one of the bedroom windows. He rises to his feet and presses himself against the glass for a better view of the inside. Spotting Tristain dressed as the princess, he becomes very excited; so excited, he loses his balance and falls once more to the storey below.
  
  Tristain closes the door, leaving you and the knight alone in the hallway.
  
  > go west
  Ser Leonhart follows you to the second storey balcony. Another hallway leads to the west. A circular staircase reaches the balconies above and below. A call button can summon the lift.
  
  > Go west
  Ser Leonhart follows you down the western hallway. There is a bedroom to the west and a bedroom to the north.
  
  > Go west
  Ser Leonhart follows you into a cluttered and oil-stained bedroom. On the wall above a hammock hangs an aged painting. An old woman is hard at work tinkering with some kind of vending machine.
  
  "Oh my," says the woman when Ser Leonhart enters. "You have not yet declared your intentions for courtship, and yet here you are, having stolen into my bedroom. What ever is a maiden to do?"
  
  The knight assumes a heroic pose. "My name is Ser Leonhart, and I'm on a quest to rescue the Princess Joy."
  
  "Of course you are," says the woman, hobbling over to him. "There is naught that warms my heart like a big, strong, intellectually-challenged hero. Come hither and play a little game for my entertainment."
  
  Ser Leonhart shakes his head. "There is naught time for games, and I mustn't let my guard down. There is dark magick at work in these halls."
  
  "Oh, you will find no witchcraft in my bedchambers. Puzzles are
  my speciality. Here." She points at the vending machine. "All
  you must do is solve the puzzle, retrieve the handbell and claim your prize." She returns to her drafting table and chews on another handful of pig treats.
  
  > Smell the indigo
  You sniff the vending machine, and Ser Leonhart levels his sword at it.
  
  "So, evil wizard, you have taken the form of this contraption to try and confuse me."
  
  The old woman raises an eyebrow. "Uh, what are you doing?"
  
  The knight continues. "But here I am, at last, ready to bring down the heavy fist of justice. The time has come for me to end your reign of terror!" And before the old woman can stop him, Ser Leonhart has smashed through the glass with his sword, sending cogs and axles and spiral coils all over the room.
  
  The woman lets out a blood-curdling scream. "Look what you did, you festering buffoon! You sack of rotten potatoes! You peer-reviewed proof of reverse evolution! All that work, gone, gone, gone!" She picks up the tin of pig treats and smacks him over the head with it, over and over again, until he rushes out into the hallway. You follow close behind, not wanting to be on the sharp end of her wrath any more than he does.
  
  Once you both are out of harm's way, she throws the tin of pig treats and the handbell at his face and slams the door shut. You can hear her sliding what's left of the vending machine in front of the door, blocking it for good.
  
  > smell the pepper
  You sniff the pepper shaker. Ser Leonhart attacks it with his sword but produces nary a scratch. You find yourself suitably impressed by the quality of modern pepper shakers.
  
  > go to the north
  Ser Leonhart follows you north to a majestic bedroom. Against the far wall is a mahogany bed, a totem of devilish creatures carved into each of the posts. In another corner is a desk covered in papers. One such paper has fallen to the floor.
  
  > Smell bed
  You sniff the bed. Ser Leonhart nicks the wood in several places with his sword, but ultimately decides the wizard has not been harmed.
  
  > Smell the desk
  You sniff the desk. Ser Leonhart nicks the wood in several places with his sword, but ultimately decides the wizard has not been harmed.
  
  > go south
  Ser Leonhart follows you to the western hallway. There is a balcony to the east and closed door to the west. A tin of pig treats lies on its side near a wall.
  
  You can see a pepper shaker here.
  
  > go east
  Ser Leonhart follows you to the second storey balcony. Another hallway leads to the east. A circular staircase reaches the balconies above and below. A call button can summon the lift.
  
  > Smell button
  You sniff as high as you can reach, just below the call button. Ser Leonhart inspects it, but he cannot fathom the wizard turning into a small disk mounted on the wall.