text: [Themes: modern]
  
  If you're going to do this, it's better that you do it away from the house. There is exactly one motel in this town anyway so it'll be real easy to find her.
  
  "I'm sorry dear, but your father has been a bit jumpy lately due to a recent string of burglaries. I wouldn't want him suddenly pulling a shotgun on you just because you're knocking on the door in the middle of the night. Nevermind the fact he'll be pretty grumpy anyway. He hasn't been sleeping well as you might expect." You answer.
  "Yikes! Well I guess maybe I should stay at the motel then, I don't want to cause grief. The Jinn Inn is still open right?" she says.
  "Yep, as far as I know." You answer.
  "Okay, guess I'm staying there. Ugh, just hate the idea of staying there due to it being so dirty looking. It's like one step up from that awful trailer park outside of town. I dunno how that place has stayed open so long."
  "Well the hookers in town need to ply their trade somewhere."
  "Mom! I've never heard you talk like that before!" She exclaims.
  "Well I'm not a prude dear, despite what you might think of me."
  "Mom, I don't think you're a prude. I know you're very open-minded. You're just usually pretty reserved with how your talk."
  "Well I'm full of surprises, just like you are. Where do you think you got it from?"
  "Hah, guess you're right. Okay then, I suppose I shouldn't really talk so much while I drive. I guess I'll be seeing you on Saturday after all. Give my love to dad."
  "I will dear."
  "I love you mom."
  "I love you too Suzy." You say before hanging up.
  
  You don't have much time, you have to prepare and make a plan of what you're going to do.
  
  "Did I hear you on the phone out here?" you mother says walking into the kitchen.
  "Huh? Oh, yeah just someone trying to sell something. They were really persistent." You reply.
  "I can tell, you hardly cut up any of the carrots."
  "Sorry, I guess I got caught up in telling them to never call here again. I should have just hung up I suppose."
  "No worries, I've gotten directly angry at those telemarketer types too."
  "Hey mom, I've got some things I left here that I want to get and I know they're probably in my room somewhere or maybe even the basement, you don't mind if I go take care of that do you?"
  "No, not at all. We can talk later. Let me know if you're looking for something in particular. I might know where it is."
  "I will mom."
  
  You head to your room to try to formulate a plan. You figure the easiest way to do this is to hang out near or around the motel parking lot and watch for a silver sports car. When you see what room she goes to, you can just blitz attack her as she's attempting to open it up and take care of her in the motel room itself. You just need to be quick.
  
  So, now that you have her, now you have to kill her. You're going to need something quick and not noisy. A knife you suppose, but that might take more than one stab unless you cut her throat or something. The bat you got from the Gray Building might work, if you smash her in the head multiple times. The thing is you don't want is to splatter a bunch of blood all over the place. The Jinn Inn might be shady and dirty enough that a few blood spots on their carpets aren't going to raise an eyebrow, but if you make it look like the chainsaw massacre, you will cause attention and it isn't like you're going to have all the time in the world to clean it up. The goal is to make the kill and replace her as efficiently as possible.
  
  Which brings you to the idea of how you're going to dispose of the body since you can't just leave a dead doppelganger of yourself in the motel room. You're definitely going to have to haul it out into the wilderness-surrounding town. Dragging it to one of the trunks of the car is going to be the most difficult part. (You still aren't sure which one you'll take) Dragging her body out might be less risky if you at least wrapped it in something; you think you saw some things in the basement that might come in useful.
  
  Once you get the body into the trunk though, you just need to drive far enough away so it isn't discovered. Even if it is, maybe you should mutilate the face so it can't be identified. Pull out the teeth?
  
  Your murder plans are temporarily broken up by your thoughts of Bobby. You didn't often speak to Bobby about his "religious practices", but in the few times you dared to ask questions, he did explain helpfully about how he went about things. You never dreamed that such knowledge might come in handy.
  
  You make a mental note of everything you might need. You grab an old duffle bag out of the closet and fill it with some of her old clothing from her drawers. You figure you're probably going to need new clothing to wear after your grim work.
  
  When you head downstairs you find that dad has returned.
  
  "Hey Suzy, where are you off to?"
  "Oh just putting some stuff of mine in the car, hey dad I was thinking about painting my place when I get back home. I noticed some old tarps and blankets in the basement, you wouldn't mind if I took those would you?" you ask.
  "Oh no, go ahead. Take whatever you might need." He says.
  
  You head to your car and throw the duffle bag in, then you return to the house and head down into the basement.
  
  You grab some of the folded up tarps and then you notice some of the old tools and other junk down here. Are you going to need an axe to chop up the body? Maybe you should take a shovel to bury it in the wilderness? You remember they stuffed a body into a luggage case in one movie...
  
  "Fuck it, I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, I better just take all this shit. Dad did say to help myself." You say and make a couple trips up and down the basement, loading up your car with tools, tape, bags, and tarps in the process. (And being to keep the shovel and axe hidden within the tarps since the last thing you need is a question about why you might need those)
  
  By the time you're done, you're about ready to go do the deed right now, but it's still too early. Besides, you can't just disappear for all day and night, your parents would wonder. You're going to have to come up with an excuse of why you're going to be gone.
  
  As you're piecing together an excuse, when you get back in the house your mom sees and addresses you again.
  
  "You going to have dinner with us in a half hour or so?" she asks.
  "...yes...of course. I have to leave though afterwards."
  "Leave? You just got here!"
  "I don't mean leave to go back to Security City, I just mean...well I've been in contact with a former school friend through the Internet and she's sort of been going through some tough times. I promised I'd meet up with her when I was visiting."
  "Oh...well I certainly understand. Who was this friend? Do I know her? Though I suppose I only ever remember Julie due to you two hanging together a lot."
  
  You very briefly blank on making up a name on the spot, however you do come up with one rather quickly.
  
  "Um, Diana. Her name was Diana Morningstar. She never came over here, since her parents were always a bit strict, but I always got along with her in school. She wasn't very popular, but I always felt a bit sorry for her so I was sort of her only real friend. Though I imagine she probably put more stock into it than I did, I mean I was still just a shallow kid at the time and wanted to hang out with Julie since we could have fun together like normal young teens. I sort of lost contact with her when her parents pulled her out of school altogether and home schooled her. I think they were religious nuts."
  
  Your mother just shakes her head.
  
  "See, parents like that just shouldn't have children. That's a shame. Well I'm glad to hear that you showed that girl a bit of kindness. I'm sure she's glad you're in contact again and will be happy to see you. You always were thoughtful." Your mother says and then mentions that you should take a spare key for the house from the desk in the front room just in case you come home late and they're already asleep.
  
  Eventually it's dinnertime and you have dinner with your mom and dad. Through a bit of conversation you do learn a little more about your "life" here and through careful weaving and quick thinking, you manage to navigate through questions you might not otherwise know the answers to. To be honest though, you're only just barely paying attention to any of it, because you're so preoccupied.
  
  While you're apparently calm on the outside, you're really a ball of nervous energy and as soon as dinner is over you nearly rush out of the house, though you do grab the spare house key for appearances.
  
  You say goodbye to your parents and leave the house. It's night, but it's still too early for her to be at the motel yet, well at least you hope that's the case since that will change up your plans of how to get to her.
  
  You spend a bit of time driving around trying to put yourself in the mind frame to do this. You can't afford to choke; this is a life or death decision quite literally. You need to do this for your future life here. The life that you deserved...but why are you so much more deserving? Didn't this Suzy work hard to get what she got even if she had a few advantages? Are you just too overwhelmed with jealousy? How can you genuinely desire to find the inner strength to kill?
  
  "For fuck's sake Suzy, you were going out with a cultist for fuck's sake and you had no problem with him killing people! Is this really all that surprising?" you exclaim to yourself.
  
  Maybe this is genetic. Maybe you take after Uncle Ed. (Who you learned didn't exist in this reality when your mom mentioned being an only child at dinner) Maybe it was your fucked up upbringing. Maybe it was your environment. Maybe there was always darkness in you and you were just too damn lazy for it ever to fully thrive.
  
  Well it's thriving now. Is it ever. You've got more motivation than you ever have before. Maybe it's because there is so much at stake. Maybe it's because on some level you actually hate yourself and by killing this Suzy, well it's like killing yourself without the actual downside of dying.
  
  Whatever the reason, you can't waste anymore time thinking about whether this is right or wrong. Your life hasn't exactly been "right" for a very long time, but if everything goes according to plan, your life will be getting there.
  
  Well at least that's how you're convincing yourself this time around. Just like you've convinced yourself of several other things this week, you succeed in convincing yourself of this too. It's getting a lot easier.
  
  You stop driving around town and finally head to the motel. You'll wait the rest of the time out in the parking lot.
  
  When you get to the Jinn Inn, it isn't quite as bad as the one in your reality, but you definitely see some shady characters popping into the rooms. You see no sign of a silver sports car though and you do take the time to check. She's not here yet so you just park in a strategic location where you can see all the traffic coming in and out. When she arrives, you'll definitely see her.
  
  Hours pass, but you never lose focus. And eventually your vigilance pays off. You see a silver sports car. It actually isn't as fancy as you thought it might be, probably was bought used, but it's certainly more than you ever had.
  
  You watch her park close to the motel rooms and then you see her get out of the car. She's dressed in casual clothing and carries a small purse, but when you watch her walk to the motel check in office, you notice she carries herself with an air of self-confidence. It's like it doesn't matter that the area she's around is shit, she knows she's better and isn't at all intimidated by the element here.
  
  It is at this moment you grab your baseball bat and get out of the car still keeping an eye out and crouching down behind the vehicles. Fortunately nobody else happens to be lingering around the lot at the moment. Hopefully it stays that way.
  
  You soon see her come out of the check in office and as stealthily as you can you run over behind more cars and get closer. You watch where she walks to and continue to keep a look out for anyone else that might suddenly pop up. You just need to stay hidden as you follow her and then rush her when she finally opens up her room. You silently thank your luck for once since she seems to not be very aware of her surroundings and only focuses on heading towards her room.
  
  "Stupid, arrogant bitch..." you say to yourself.
  
  Your stalking soon ends when you see her reach her room. It's a perfect opening too. Nobody is around and she fumbles with the keys a bit giving you time to get closer before making that mad sprint as soon as she opens her room... and then you strike.
  
  Your target opens the door and enters her room. She turns around to close the door just in time to see you up close in front of her hitting her with face with the bat. It isn't a full swing, but rather a hard "poke", but it's enough to break her nose and cause her to go falling to the floor.
  
  You quickly slam the door shut behind you and you briefly think about beating her brains in with the bat, but then you realize that will probably be messy.
  
  "You..." is all she manages to get out before you kick her in the face to shut her up. Then you pounce on top of her and after turning her over, you use the bat sideways and you press it up against her throat as hard as you can as you pull back.
  
  She gasps and struggles for her life, but it's no use, your determination to kill her is much stronger than her abilities to fight for her life.
  
  "Shhhhh...just let go....just let go...everything is going to work out and your parents won't be losing a daughter at all. Just let go...." You whisper.
  
  Soon you hear a crunching sound of perhaps crushing bones in her neck or her windpipe or something. Whatever it is, her struggle temporarily becomes more violent and jerky with her limbs attempting to flail about. It almost feels like you're riding her like a wild pony, but soon this outburst is muted and then nothing.
  
  Suzy collapses dying with her face partially in a small puddle of her blood and spital, leaving you sitting on top of a corpse's back. You eventually stand up taking in what you've done. You're hot and sweaty, but strangely invigorated.
  
  "(Whew) And I thought I was going to choke." you say and then start to chuckle at your own dark joke.
  
  Well the first part of the deed is done, now comes the more labor inducing part. Getting rid of her body.
  
  You've actually managed to keep the mess to a minimum by choking her to death, so you're wondering if you shouldn't just grab the tarps from the car, roll her ass up in them, duct tape it together and take her to the trunk.
  
  She might be your size, (Okay slightly lighter) but it isn't like you're used to carrying bodies around. While there wasn't anyone out there, the last thing you need is someone seeing you fumbling around with a body, even one wrapped in a tarp.
  
  If you wanted to play it safe, you suppose you could drag her to the bathroom and chop her up in the bathtub. It will definitely take longer and you might make more of a mess, but you could always carry her out in several pieces in that big luggage bag you brought with you.
  
  > chop her up
  If you're going to do this, you need to do this right. In fact the more you think about it, this isn't going to be done in one day. However, you can get some of it done tonight if you stay focused.
  
  Sure, you're going to have to come up with a few excuses to your parents of why you were out all night, but you can think them up while you're taking care of this.
  
  You quickly search her body, but find nothing of interest. The purse that she dropped on the floor when you smashed her in the face contains all the important stuff, but you figure you can go through it more thoroughly later.
  
  The first thing you do is leave the room and head directly to the check in office. When you enter you see a slovenly man watching a tv. His leering eyes turn your way and you have no doubt he thinks you're the same woman from earlier.
  
  "Hey, I'm gonna need that room a little longer." You say.
  "Business that good huh?" he snorts.
  "Very funny, look how much for two more days?"
  "Same price you see on the fucking sign above my head."
  "Oh, well I guess I didn't see it since I was so mesmerized what with you being such a stud and all." You say sarcastically while pulling out a couple hundreds out of your pocket.
  
  You toss the money at him dismissively, but he takes it without question.
  
  "Keep the change and I don't want anyone disturbing me until its time to check out, got it? That means no house keeping ladies or shit knocking at my door." You say.
  "House keeping ladies? Pfft, no problem there. I got one and she barely does her fucking job as it is. If I wasn't married to her I would've fired her years ago." The man says and returns to his show.
  
  You then head to your car where you start bringing in several of the various objects you brought from the house. Takes you a couple trips, but you don't have any trouble.
  
  The motel bathroom is fortunately bigger than you expected it to be, it's also a lot dirtier than you expected it to be. Of course now you're not so much worried about making a mess so much as you're afraid you're going to catch hepatitis just being in the damn place.
  
  You lay down tarps on the floor and in the bathtub then you drag her body in. You go grab the axe and study it a bit; hoping that it's sharp enough that you won't need to struggle with the whole dismemberment task.
  
  Standing over her body with an axe is a little surreal to you, but you need to stop dwelling on how weird this all is and get on with it.
  
  "Here we go." You say and swing the axe...
  
  Chopping up the body is a mixed feeling. On one hand you're completely at peace with the deed and everything that goes along with it. The blood and gore isn't even all that bad since you've gotten a bit accustomed to that, but it's the smell that's making you feel a little sick.
  
  You actually have to stop chopping for a moment because you can't stop gagging. Eventually you just give in and throw up in the toilet nearby. Afterwards, you're more or less fine. It still isn't nearly as bad as that fucked up reality warping tentacle monster shadow abominations you had to endure during your time in the Gray Building. You never want to experience something like that again.
  
  By the time you're finished, you've got severed parts waiting to be wrapped up. You got most of the bloody mess on the tarps, so that's one less thing to worry about you suppose. You'll have to dispose of the bloody clothing you're wearing though.
  
  Getting naked, you return to your large luggage case, which you placed on the bed and open it up to retrieve all the trash bags you took along with the duct tape.
  
  The wrapping and taping is probably more time consuming than the chopping up part. You don't really have too many problems except when it comes to the torso which is not fun to deal with since it's still heavy and blood is leaking everywhere from it.
  
  Eventually you get everything in order and before you know it, you've got several body parts wrapped fairly tightly in bags and they don't seem to be leaking either. After washing your hands and arms a bit, you grab the luggage case from the next room.
  
  It takes some effort and squeezing, but you just barely manage to fit all of the parts in the case. After carefully moving the tarps to drain the blood in the tub, you then fold them up and squeeze them in too, along with your blood drenched clothing. The luggage case itself is made of solid material and you're confident there won't be any leakage, but just dragging it back into the main room takes some effort. It definitely isn't going to be easy to shove into the car trunk.
  
  Next you spend a little time cleaning up a few places where the blood spilled on the floor or splattered on the wall. Most of this was in the bathroom and is relativity easy to get rid of, though you do spend some time scrubbing the carpet a bit where you first choked her out.
  
  After you're done with all of that, you take a shower, which also gets rid of the blood already in the tub. You briefly feel a little like that infamous countess that bathed in the blood of young girls to maintain her youth.
  
  Getting dressed in a new set of clothing you brought in the duffle bag, you finally collapse on the bed not caring how filthy it may or may not be.
  
  "Ahhh...shit..." you say to yourself as fatigue sets in.
  
  You take this opportunity to go a bit through the purse now, starting with the phone. You check the time and see that it's practically getting up for morning.
  
  You figure you'll sleep here for what remains of the night and tomorrow you'll take the remains to the wilderness and find a good spot to bury them. You imagine your mom will call you at some point, possibly even waking you up. You figure you'll tell her you had a few drinks with Diana and you didn't want to risk driving home. She'll understand that even if she might not approve.
  
  You also figure you'll take the blue car when you drive. The shovel is still in that one and you might very well have to stop off at your parent's house first for some reason anyway if they really make a fuss to want to see you immediately. Better you don't have to park around the block or something just so you don't arouse suspicion. You'll definitely be abandoning the blue one and taking the silver one back when you leave town and head back to Security City though.
  
  And that's just some of what you have to do for tomorrow. You'll be able to do it though as long as you stay focused on your goals like you have been doing.
  
  As you begin to drift off, your thoughts briefly focus on Bobby. Seems weird to think of him even now after all you've been through this week. You wonder if his family lives in town? Are they still cultists or are they normal?
  
  You have no idea, there is going to be a lot to learn from this reality, but you can only dwell on "your" Bobby and what he might think. You certainly are a far cry from that "good girl" he rescued so long ago. He probably would be proud of you right now.
  
  You know he's out of your life forever now, but you still can't help feel a little sad about it.
  
  "I still wonder if being with you influenced me or what I just did was within me all along. Either way I guess if I stayed with you earlier this week...maybe...maybe... we could have made it work after all. Another reality perhaps..." you say and close your eyes.
  
  > Next day... 
  You wake up to the cell phone ringing. You're very tired, but when you see who it is, this call isn't unexpected.
  
  "Hey mom..." you groggily reply.
  "Hey mom? Where are you? I thought you would've come back last night!" your mom exclaims.
  "What time is it now?"
  "It's almost noon! Are you okay?"
  "Mom, mom, mom, calm down. I'm fine. I just...well I drank a little too much..."
  "Drink? You don't drink!" your mom exclaims.
  "Yeah, I know hence why I've been more or less out of it. Diana was really distraught last night and she was already drinking a bit when I got over to her place. She got an eviction notice, she broke up with her boyfriend, she lost her job and just a whole bunch of other drama in genera hit her this week. She really needed a friend to speak with and well, I ended up drinking with her since she was sort of insistent and I wanted to be there for her. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I think she felt better as the night went on. Of course that might have just been the drink...I dunno...I'm sorry for worrying you though."
  
  There is a pause after you give your excuse.
  
  "Okay Suzy. I get it. (Sigh) I'm just glad you had the sense not to drive if you really got that drunk though. I do hope this isn't a habit though, I know you're an adult, but you're still my baby and I don't like to think of you as being some falling down lush."
  "Oh mom, that's not going to happen. Seriously, like I said, I only did it so Diana would feel better. I fully intend to tell her when she wakes up that this won't be happening again."
  "Glad to hear it. So when do you think you'll be home? Your father and I would still like to see you since you actually came here to visit us remember?"
  "I know, I'll be home in a few hours I suppose. I still feel woozy from last night. Did you need me over immediately though? Because I can do that if you want."
  "No, no, you take care of everything you need to over there and come over when you're feeling up to driving. Don't want you getting into an accident because you're not feeling one hundred percent."
  "Okay, I will be over as soon as I can though."
  "Alright, we'll see you then. Love you Suzy."
  "I love you mom."
  
  You hang up and rub your eyes a bit.
  
  "Well that's one thing out of the way. Better get on with the more important task." You say.
  
  You open up the door to your room and see a closer parking spot to your room, which is good since you really don't want to drag that case too far.
  
  You go to your car and bring it in closer and then head back to your room to gather up everything.
  
  You gather up the bat and axe (which you also wash off in the tub) and toss them in the trunk. Next, you grab the luggage case. With some effort, you drag it to the trunk and lift it inside. You're really glad you decided to chop her up, you can't imagine how awkward it would've been to carry her intact.
  
  You take your new purse and duffle bag and leave the room. You'll come back for the sports car later. The only danger of leaving it here is someone stealing the thing, but then it wasn't really your car to begin with.
  
  Believing you've taken care of everything you need to here, you start up your car and drive off for north of town.
  
  A few hours later and you're just finishing up digging a good-sized hole in the ground to shove the case in. You really think you were better off doing this in the day time since you neglected to bring a flashlight which would have made digging in the middle of the woods at night a little more difficult.
  
  You were a little concerned about some random campers stumbling upon you, or maybe some redneck hunters, but so far you haven't seen a single thing, which is good.
  
  You look at the luggage case.
  
  "Well Suzy, now is where we part ways. I wish I could say I didn't want things to be this way, but I'd be lying. You had a better life and I wanted that so I took it. Maybe that makes me a fucking sociopath or evil or something, I don't know and I don't care. All I can say is I'm going to make the most of it and not waste your life the way I wasted my life."
  
  You grab the case and shove it into the hole.
  
  "Thanks Suzy and goodbye." You say and then fill up the hole.
  
  After your deed you make the mildly long walk out of the woods and to your car. You throw your shovel in the trunk and sit in the car for a while not doing anything except resting. Digging a hole for a body is some tiring business even if it's neatly tucked in a case.
  
  You grab your new phone out of the purse to call your mom so you can let her know you'll be home soon and that's when you notice someone else has called while you were out digging.
  
  It's your "girlfriend." Apparently her name is Heather and she left you a voice message which out of curiosity you listen to.
  
  "Hey Suzy, I hope you're having a good time visiting your family. I just wanted to call though and see how you were. I know you haven't been gone long, but you know I always miss you when you're not around. Anyway, call me back when you have time. Oh and I sent you some pictures to keep you occupied when you're alone! (Giggle!)"
  
  You go through the phone and see that Heather has indeed sent you more than a few pictures. You see a raven haired girl of small physique with lipstick and eye make up wearing lingerie and making sexy poses. You have to admit, she's actually very pretty in a slightly goth sort of way.
  
  "Damn, maybe I shouldn't break up with her immediately." you chuckle.
  
  You turn the car on and begin making the journey back to your parent's house. Along the way you think about everything that's happened this week and how this is just beginning of your new life. You weren't joking about making the most of it when you said those words out loud in the woods. You meant that, well except you're not going to be making the most out of her life, you're going to be making the most out of YOUR life.
  
  While the "transformation" is far from complete, you think the hardest part is over and even if there are challenges or you to overcome, you'll succeed in surviving and conquering them.
  
  Because that's all you've done during this Hell week, survived and ultimately conquered it.
  
  > ... 
  Mirror rorriM
  
  The Future...
  
  Your siblings, spouses, children, and you all stand in your mother's bedroom. It probably won't be long now.
  
  You always knew the day would come when you'd lose her again and that day is today. While you might have been more prepared for it this time, it doesn't make it any less sad. You didn't even feel this sad when your dad died years ago and you loved him very much, though maybe that's because you always still had the tainted memory of your crappy alternate one.
  
  Your mother though in both realities was always there for you and you've never forgotten that.
  
  "Now that I've said my goodbyes to everyone...I want....I want to speak to Suzy...alone..." your mother utters.
  
  Everyone is a little surprised by this unexpected request. You are too, since you thought everyone was going to be in her room until the end.
  
  "What? But mother..." Kelly starts to say looking almost a little offended.
  "Kelly. Not now. Not today." Ben says with a stern voice.
  
  Kelly looks at Ben like she wants to argue, but he's about the only person that can make her back down. She does however give you the stare of death.
  
  Kelly never changes no matter what reality. She always hates you. There actually was a slightly comforting consistency when you first encountered her.
  
  "Fine. She's all yours, just like she always is." Kelly snaps and storms out the room.
  
  Ben exhales and shrugs with a slight widening of his eyes looking at you.
  
  "It's okay...I'm used to it." You say.
  "Alright, everyone come on let's leave these two alone to talk." Ben replies.
  
  Ben escorts his children out of the room while Julie goes up and gives you a quick hug before following them.
  
  You kiss and hug your husband and tell your daughter that you'll see them later.
  
  After they leave it's just you and mom. You pull up your chair as close as you can to the bed and sit near her and hold her hand.
  
  "I'm here mom." You say.
  "Yes...yes you are. You've always been here. (Cough) Even when you weren't."
  
  Your mom at this point turns to look directly at you and despite her very weak state you feel her hand squeeze yours somewhat strongly and she gives you a sudden intense look.
  
  "I know you're not Suzy...or rather you're not the Suzy I gave birth to..." she says with a tone that you've never heard before. It isn't anger or anything negative, but it is one that puts you so off guard that you get a chill down your back.
  
  "Mom, I..." you begin to sputter before she interrupts you.
  "Don't. I know. I've known for a very long time now. A mother always knows her own child."
  
  You don't know how to react. You look down and away from your "mother. You actually feel a little sick and you start to tremble a bit. You have never once in all these years felt bad about what you did, but now you're not so sure. You begin to sniffle and tears start to form.
  
  "Shhhh, Suzy. Save your tears for when I'm truly gone because it doesn't matter. You're still my daughter, but I couldn't go to my grave without letting you know that I knew. I also thought I'd tell you for your sake. Now (cough) I don't want to know the gruesome details...about HOW this came to be, but if its been weighing on your conscience at all, you didn't actually replace the Suzy I gave birth to anyway."
  
  This is beyond unexpected. How is it possible that she knows all this just on instinct? You look up at your mother.
  
  "My Suzy...the Suzy I knew as the daughter I gave birth to? Something happened to her a long time ago. (cough cough) Something changed soon after she went to college. I never could place my finger on it, but first time she visited I knew something was different. And it wasn't just due to experimenting with new ideas and sexuality in college. SHE was different and I KNEW she was. As I said, a mother knows, but the frequent little inconsistencies in her memories and such made it certain. Just as I learned with you."
  
  You just continue holding your mother's hand as she speaks.
  
  "But what could I do? What could I say? Who would believe such a fantastic tale? Sure this new Suzy was a little more full of herself, but she still loved me just like my Suzy did. I couldn't lose my baby daughter twice so I never spoke up. Never (cough) dreamed it would happen again though. I suppose in some ways I might have even been glad though. You replaced the one who replaced mine."
  
  Never did you ever believe that your mother knew. To learn this now is just as overwhelming as when you had to deal with the situation so long ago.
  
  "Why...why didn't you say anything before?" you ask looking up.
  "Why ruin a good relationship? You never disrespected me and treated me kindly. You always visited when you could and you even moved back to town with your family when your father died so you could be closer to me. You obviously loved me very much. Could I really ask for a better daughter?" your mother says with a faint smile.
  
  The feelings are almost overwhelming you at this point. You're completely at a loss. At this point your mom gives your hand another squeeze, but weaker this time.
  
  "You're my daughter. My baby and I always loved you. Never doubt that." She says.
  "I don't...(Sob)" you say and attempt to hold it together.
  
  Your mother's grip is becoming less firm now.
  
  "Soon none of this will matter, but before I go...I want to know a couple things..." your mother says weakly.
  "Of course." You reply.
  "What...(cough) was your other mother like?"
  "She...(sniffle) was very much like you. She was kind and was the only one who ever truly cared when I was growing up. I...(sob) was still little when she died...I missed her very much..." you say trying to keep from crying completely.
  
  Your mother nods.
  
  "I see...I suppose...(cough cough) that answer might partially answer my other question then..."
  "What's that?"
  "How many other Suzys were there after you?"
  
  You're silent for a moment.
  
  "Three that I know of. I think you may have even met one of them."
  "Mm...considering you were never replaced... I suppose...you just wanted this life more than they did then..."
  "It...(sob) has been a good life...(sob)"
  
  Your mother pats your hand.
  
  "And you'll still have a good life Suzy, even after I'm gone..." she says.
  
  At this point your mother's eyes begin to flutter and then shut completely and her breathing becomes shallow.
  
  You stay until the end and then sadness is completely released. You cry over your loss and head towards the door, not wishing to be in the same room with the empty shell that was your mother any longer.
  
  When you exit, your husband immediately sees had distraught you are and goes to comfort you. Your daughter has been visibly crying as well. Ben, says that he'll start making the arrangements for the funeral, meanwhile Kelly takes it upon herself to call medical personnel.
  
  Later, the drive back home is quieter, with your daughter Sally sleeping in the backseat and your husband Roger just paying attention to the road.
  
  It's been an emotional roller coaster for you today. More than you even thought it would be, but you're sort of glad your mother knew. Somehow her knowing and still loving and accepting you anyway made it just as real as how your reality's mom felt towards you.
  
  You also wonder if this means you won't have to put up with any other reality hopping Suzys any longer. That might be a little too much to hope for though, after all your life is still a good one and you have much to be happy about in the scheme of things. Your mother was right about that.
  
  Doesn't matter, you'll continue to fight for it just like you always have because now you truly have a life worth fighting for.
  
  "You okay over there honey?" Roger asks.
  "Yes, well no, but I guess I'm just trying to think about all the good times I had with mom. You know, focus on the positive."
  "That's good Suzy. I think that's a healthy approach." He replies.
  
  Roger always has been a supportive husband to you. You never would have thought you would have fallen for a soldier type before. You sometimes wonder if you and Roger ever met in another reality.
  
  "Yeah, it's odd, but I think I'm also coming up with an idea for a new book. Figure maybe I should re-channel all this negativity into something productive." You say.
  "Oh? What idea?"
  "Well I suppose my mind is still a bit fragmented for a solid idea, but I'm thinking of doing a sequel to Mirrors."
  "Oh, your scifi book about parallel dimensions? That one was pretty popular. I know I certainly liked it better than that one your wrote about that inbred cultist family. That one was a little too gruesome for my tastes."
  "Well I had to make a dramatic break from my first three books. Up until then, all people thought I could write was lesbian pirate erotica."
  "Hey I liked Treasure Chest. I thought it was a pretty deep love story." Roger says.
  "Oh I know why YOU liked it." You say chuckling a little bit and allowing yourself to feel a little better.
  "Well okay I liked the obvious too, well anyway do you have any idea on what the new story might involve?"
  "It will probably just pick up a few years after Mirror left off and I'll see how it goes from there. Like I said, it's just in the idea stages now, but whatever I come up with, I'll definitely be dedicating it in the memory of mom."
  "Well I think that's a very good way to honor her. She certainly has contributed to your inspiration."
  
  You nod.
  
  "In more ways than one Roger. In more ways than one."