text: [Themes: IF Whispers, sidekick NPC, post-apocalyptic]
  
  > Go down
  This is clearly some kind of command center. An important-looking door leads off to the north, while more unassuming ones lead in all other cardinal directions. Surely some hint to the treasure must be in this secret complex.
  
  You can see a ladder here.
  
  Curb scampers after you. Whether you like it or not.
  
  > Go north
  The acoustics in this room look carefully shaped, which is odd, because the centerpiece of this room is in fact a huge brass cannon.
  
  As you enter, a booming voice intones, "STAND BY FOR MIND CONTROL."
  
  > Test
  Time passes.
  
  The booming voice continues, "GO SOUTH."
  
  >go south
  
  This is clearly some kind of command center. An important-looking door leads off to the north, while more unassuming ones lead in all other cardinal directions. Surely some hint to the treasure must be in this secret complex.
  
  You can see a ladder here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > Go south
  This room is decorated in the severest of blacks and whites. Everything is dead silent. A passageway leads quietly back up to the north.
  
  An invisible box squats against the south wall.
  
  You can also see a phantom wind machine here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > look at the wind machine
  This is a small switch, painted in severe black and white. It is labeled "PHANTOM WIND MACHINE". Beneath that, in much smaller letters, is inscribed KUKURQPUVW.
  
  The phantom wind machine is currently switched off.
  
  Curb writhes about on his back, kicking his hind legs.
  
  > Decode kukurqpuvw
  Using your mighty ancestral decoder ring, you decode KUKURQPUVW to MEMESHIELD.
  
  Curb gnaws hungrily on his own forepaw.
  
  > turn on MACHINE
  You switch on the device, and suddenly a powerful wind assaults your face. Oddly, your hair and possessions seem totally unaffected.
  
  > Go north
  It's slow going fighting through the imaginary wind that's whipping your face.
  
  This is clearly some kind of command center. An important-looking door leads off to the north, while more unassuming ones lead in all other cardinal directions. Surely some hint to the treasure must be in this secret complex.
  
  You can see a ladder here.
  
  Curb scampers after you. Whether you like it or not.
  
  > go west
  It's slow going fighting through the imaginary wind that's whipping your face.
  
  This room appears to be some sort of shrine to old arcade games. A passage leads back east.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > Play
  What do you want to play?
  
  > go to the east
  It's slow going fighting through the imaginary wind that's whipping your face.
  
  This is clearly some kind of command center. An important-looking door leads off to the north, while more unassuming ones lead in all other cardinal directions. Surely some hint to the treasure must be in this secret complex.
  
  You can see a ladder here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  The wind abruptly stops.
  
  > examine hat
  (the alligator stetson)
  You never seen an alligator, but it's certain they make a fine hat.
  
  > take the hat
  (the alligator stetson)
  You already have that.
  
  Curb savagely gnaws at his genitals with slurpy snarls of contentment.
  
  > take the mome hat
  Though you realize that you risk the dreaded Mome Wrath for your defilement, you collect the Mome hat.
  
  Curb sniffs at the Mome statue like the horrible little pervert he is.
  
  > wear it
  You put on the Mome hat.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a Mome hat (being worn)
  some gambling tokens
  a decoder ring (being worn)
  a heirloom box (open)
  a slip of paper
  a treasure map
  an eyepatch
  a skull
  a shred of cloth
  an empty pewter mug
  a glass bottle of rum
  a piece of paper
  a diary
  a glow-jar (providing light)
  your car keys (disgusting)
  a Son of Toil bar
  a Twinkie
  a musket barrel
  your guitar
  an alligator stetson (being worn)
  your panga
  Treasure Huntery Lesson 1
  
  Curb writhes about on his back, kicking his hind legs.
  
  > Pray
  You mumble a prayer from your childhood:
  
  I see the moon, and the moon sees me.
  God bless the moon and God bless me.
  
  It's a pretty selfish prayer, when you think about it. I mean, the moon is covered, but I guess you really don't care about anything or anyone else, do you?
  
  I swear... you belong in Vegas.
  
  Curb peers curiously at the piece of paper.
  
  > look at the statue
  The Mome's hat has been stolen.
  
  Curb peers curiously at Treasure Huntery Lesson 1.
  
  > About yourself
  You're tall and thirsty. Too old to be drifting loose, too young to have done anything much to deserve confirmation - your tattoos show that much.
  
  Curb chases his tail, squealing frustration.
  
  > Kiss statue
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  > examine the tattoos
  Your right arm, left hand and the left side of your face are partially covered with blocky, rounded glyphs precisely specifying your age, blood type, status (social, economic, marital) and affiliations (birth-clan, adopted clan, moiety, college). None of which are going to impress anybody, except for the adopted-clan part, perhaps; Aunt Mabel's reputation extends across the known world. But even so, the conspicuous hollow circles on the backs of both hands mark you as unconfirmed.
  
  Curb starts at nothing, and half falls over in a desperate attempt to escape it.
  
  > go west
  This is clearly some kind of command center. An important-looking door leads off to the north, while more unassuming ones lead in all other cardinal directions. Surely some hint to the treasure must be in this secret complex.
  
  You can see a ladder here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > examine MACHINE
  This is a small switch, painted in severe black and white. It is labeled "PHANTOM WIND MACHINE". Beneath that, in much smaller letters, is inscribed KUKURQPUVW.
  
  The phantom wind machine is currently switched off.
  
  Curb fixes you with a look of abject guilt and keens softly.
  
  > turn on MACHINE
  You switch on the device, and suddenly a powerful wind assaults your face. Oddly, your hair and possessions seem totally unaffected.
  
  Curb vomits from excitement, his ribcage convulsing. He laps up the result hurriedly, before you steal his prize.
  
  > go north
  It's slow going fighting through the imaginary wind that's whipping your face.
  
  This is clearly some kind of command center. An important-looking door leads off to the north, while more unassuming ones lead in all other cardinal directions. Surely some hint to the treasure must be in this secret complex.
  
  You can see a ladder here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > go to the north
  It's slow going fighting through the imaginary wind that's whipping your face.
  
  The acoustics in this room look carefully shaped, which is odd, because the centerpiece of this room is in fact a huge brass cannon.
  
  A booming voice intones a command at you. The winds surrounding you distort the voice. You think it said "STAND BY FOR MIME CONTRAIL."
  
  > examine the cannon
  You enter the cannon.
  
  The booming voice continues with what sounds like "NOW SHOOT."
  
  > Shoot cannon
  The cannon fires, rocketing you through the plate glass window and into the room beyond.
  
  It's not as tidy as it was before you made your grand entrance through the window to the south, but this is still a perfectly functional office. An official-looking door leads west.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > examine the window
  You see nothing special about the plate glass window, except for the fact that it's been smashed into a hojillion pieces, thus allowing you access to the room beyond.
  
  Curb sniffs at your tattoos like the horrible little pervert he is.
  
  > go to the west
  It's slow going fighting through the imaginary wind that's whipping your face.
  
  You are in a brightly-lit pillared underground chamber, with purple shag carpeting and a group of very generous people. A back office lies to the east, while the west end of the lounge gives off a gentle glow.
  
  You can see Bruce K, Corinne Q, Sammy Z-E, a Cubist shape, a red square, a gray square, a brown square, and a black square here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  The wind abruptly stops.
  
  > Author
  Scene 7, "TBA", was written by N.B. Horvath.
  
  > take all
  Cubist shape: Taken.
  red square: Taken.
  gray square: Taken.
  brown square: Taken.
  black square: Taken.
  slip of paper: Taken.
  
  Bruce K gifts a small wooden fish to Corinne Q. Corinne Q hands a small wooden woodchuck to Bruce K.
  
  Sammy Z-E transfers a plastic card to Bruce K. Bruce K passes a bolt of cloth to Sammy Z-E.
  
  > read slip
  This old slip of paper has the mysterious message DSAJX YPFC, XUJPER on it.
  
  Bruce K gives a bolt of inspiration to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E presents a small wooden house to Bruce K.
  
  Sammy Z-E forks over a bolt of cloth to Bruce K. Bruce K gives a bolt of cloth to Sammy Z-E.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a slip of paper
  a black square
  a brown square
  a gray square
  
  > examine paper
  a Mome hat (being worn)
  some gambling tokens
  a decoder ring (being worn)
  a heirloom box (open but empty)
  a treasure map
  an eyepatch
  a skull
  a shred of cloth
  an empty pewter mug
  a glass bottle of rum
  a piece of paper
  a diary
  a glow-jar (providing light)
  your car keys (disgusting)
  a Son of Toil bar
  a Twinkie
  a musket barrel
  your guitar
  an alligator stetson (being worn)
  your panga
  Treasure Huntery Lesson 1
  
  Which do you mean, the slip of paper, or the piece of paper?
  
  > give square to Sammy
  Which do you mean, the black square, the brown square, the gray square, or the red square?
  
  > look at the piece
  Which do you mean, the shred of cloth, or the piece of paper?
  
  > examine the piece of paper
  An old, brittle, yellowing piece of paper, maybe once a shopping list, written in big, painful capital letters. Some of it has succumbed to time, but what you can read says:
  
  (smudge) RTS CREAM
  2 DOSEN EGG
  6 HINDGE BOLTS
  50# LEAD FOR SHOOTING
  HALF DOSEN LEMONS
  MEDECENE FO(smudge)MPA
  
  The rest is all a blur.
  
  > Go west
  This end of the Giving Lounge is bathed in gentle light. A set of (literally) pearly gates stands to the west.
  
  You pause to reflect on this for a moment. The fact that the pearly gates are underground adds that extra touch of Vegas oddness to the scene.
  
  You can see a set of pearly gates and a guardian angel here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > examine angel
  Actually he's dressed as a Roman centurion, but you can tell that he's a guardian angel from the "HELLO MY NAME IS" name tag.
  
  > go west
  The angel gently blocks your way. "Sorry my child. You are not enlightened. You do not match. Not yet."
  
  > ask the angel about the enlightenment
  There is no reply.
  
  Curb peers curiously at the panga.
  
  > ask the angel about the match
  There is no reply.
  
  Curb peers curiously at the treasure map.
  
  > go east
  You are in a brightly-lit pillared underground chamber, with purple shag carpeting and a group of very generous people. A back office lies to the east, while the west end of the lounge gives off a gentle glow.
  
  You can see Bruce K, Corinne Q, and Sammy Z-E here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  Bruce K gifts a small wooden fish to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E transfers a souvenir clock to Bruce K.
  
  Sammy Z-E gifts a small wooden fish to Corinne Q. Corinne Q gifts a bolt of lightning to Sammy Z-E.
  
  > give the cubist shape to Sammy
  You give the Cubist shape to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E donates a bolt of cloth to you.
  
  Corinne Q passes a souvenir anchor to Bruce K. Bruce K gives a souvenir clock to Corinne Q.
  
  > give the bolt of the cloth to Corinne
  You give the bolt of cloth to Corinne Q. Corinne Q gives a plastic sword to you.
  
  Bruce K gifts a plastic shield to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E hands a plastic card to Bruce K.
  
  Sammy Z-E gifts a plastic shield to Bruce K. Bruce K forks over a plastic card to Sammy Z-E.
  
  > look at Bruce
  Bruce K is identified by an extremely generic "HELLO MY NAME IS" name tag. He looks to be in his fifties. He stands a little over 6 feet tall, but he is stooped over slightly. He is wearing golf clothes and out-of-fashion glasses. Bruce K is carrying a plastic shield, a souvenir anchor, a souvenir basketball, and a bolt of inspiration.
  
  Corinne Q passes a souvenir clock to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E forks over a souvenir clock to Corinne Q.
  
  > examine Sammy
  Sammy Z-E is identified by an extremely generic "HELLO MY NAME IS" name tag. He is probably in his early twenties but looks ten years younger than that. Sammy Z-E is carrying a plastic card, a Cubist shape, a bolt of lightning, and a small wooden woodchuck.
  
  Bruce K transfers a souvenir basketball to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E gives a small wooden woodchuck to Bruce K.
  
  Corinne Q gives a small wooden house to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E presents a souvenir basketball to Corinne Q.
  
  > hit Corinne
  Violence isn't the answer to this one.
  
  Corinne Q gives a bolt of cloth to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E transfers a plastic card to Corinne Q.
  
  > look at Corinne
  Corinne Q is identified by an extremely generic "HELLO MY NAME IS" name tag. She is thirtysomething, stylish and attractive but a little nervous-looking. Corinne Q is carrying a plastic card, a souvenir basketball, a souvenir clock, and a small wooden fish.
  
  > examine square
  Which do you mean, the black square, the brown square, the gray square, or the red square?
  
  > look at the bolt
  Which do you mean, the bolt of inspiration, the bolt of cloth, or the bolt of lightning?
  
  > look at wooden
  Which do you mean, the small wooden woodchuck, the small wooden fish, or the small wooden house?
  
  > examine the souvenir
  Which do you mean, the souvenir anchor, the souvenir basketball, or the souvenir clock?
  
  > examine the black square
  This looks like another MOMA projectile.
  
  Corinne Q gives a souvenir clock to Bruce K. Bruce K gifts a souvenir anchor to Corinne Q.
  
  > examine the brown square
  This looks like another MOMA projectile.
  
  Corinne Q hands a small wooden fish to Bruce K. Bruce K gives a small wooden fish to Corinne Q.
  
  > give the black square to Bruce
  You give the black square to Bruce K. Bruce K gives a plastic shield to you.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a plastic shield
  a plastic sword
  a slip of paper
  a brown square
  a gray square
  a red square
  a Mome hat (being worn)
  some gambling tokens
  a decoder ring (being worn)
  a heirloom box (open but empty)
  a treasure map
  an eyepatch
  a skull
  a shred of cloth
  an empty pewter mug
  a glass bottle of rum
  a piece of paper
  a diary
  a glow-jar (providing light)
  your car keys (disgusting)
  a Son of Toil bar
  a Twinkie
  a musket barrel
  your guitar
  an alligator stetson (being worn)
  your panga
  Treasure Huntery Lesson 1
  
  Corinne Q passes a souvenir basketball to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E presents a bolt of lightning to Corinne Q.
  
  > look at Corinne
  Corinne Q is identified by an extremely generic "HELLO MY NAME IS" name tag. She is thirtysomething, stylish and attractive but a little nervous-looking. Corinne Q is carrying a bolt of lightning, a small wooden fish, a souvenir anchor, and a plastic card.
  
  Bruce K forks over a souvenir clock to Sammy Z-E. Sammy Z-E donates a Cubist shape to Bruce K.
  
  > give the brown square to Corinne
  You give the brown square to Corinne Q. Corinne Q gives a brown square to you.
  
  Bruce K hands a bolt of inspiration to Corinne Q. Corinne Q gives a small wooden fish to Bruce K.
  
  > give the brown square to Corinne
  You give the brown square to Corinne Q. Corinne Q forks over a plastic card to you.
  
  You glow with enlightenment.
  
  > Go west
  This end of the Giving Lounge is bathed in gentle light. A set of (literally) pearly gates stands to the west.
  
  You pause to reflect on this for a moment. The fact that the pearly gates are underground adds that extra touch of Vegas oddness to the scene.
  
  You can see a set of pearly gates and a guardian angel here.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  You glow with enlightenment.
  
  > go to the west
  The angel opens the gates with a smile, and you pass beyond. Could the treasure you seek lie beyond?
  
  The underground Las Vegas version of Heaven is as big as a major city railway terminal and brilliantly lit, with a high vault ceiling painted sky blue. Vapory, cottoney off-white structures flit about the room, blown by a pleasant breeze from discreetly placed and deeply muffled fans. It's all spectacularly fake, of course, but with superb production values.
  
  You can see a set of pearly gates and a heart-shaped bed here.
  
  And, more to the point, there's someone on the bed.
  
  Curb scampers after you.
  
  > Author
  Scene 8, "Heaven is Heart-Shaped Bed", was written by Jacqueline A Lott.
  
  > look at someone
  The woman on the bed is nothing short of a goddess. And it's not just the tacky Vegas version of Heaven that's making you think that way.
  
  > examine the bed
  The, um, goddess is lying down on a heart-shaped bed. Maybe it's more of a couch. It doesn't seem to have any sheets or anything... it seems to be upholstered in white fur. Looks soft, though.
  
  The couch, I mean.
  
  Well, the goddess too.
  
  I mean, she's not fat or anything. Just soft. You know, her skin.
  
  Curb peers curiously at the empty pewter mug.
  
  > Hi
  There is no reply.
  
  Curb vomits from excitement, his ribcage convulsing. He laps up the result hurriedly, before you steal his prize.
  
  > ask the goddess about the goddess
  She just smiles at you seductively.
  
  Curb scratches his ear.
  
  > ask the goddess about the Treasure
  She giggles a little, but doesn't say a word.
  
  Curb peers curiously at the red square.
  
  > ask the goddess about the Vegas
  She raises an eyebrow, but remains silent.
  
  > look under the bed
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  Curb peers curiously at the musket barrel.
  
  > ask the goddess about Curb
  She giggles a little, but doesn't say a word.
  
  Curb scratches his ear.
  
  > give the tokens to Goddess
  The Goddess doesn't seem interested.
  
  Curb skitters about.
  
  > enter the bed
  You advance toward her, but she shakes her head. "I don't think so, lover. I'm not quite that easy... I'm a goddess, after all."
  
  Curb scratches at the ground with his forepaws.
  
  > Kiss Goddess
  You walk toward her, but she raises a hand to stop you. "Sorry, my darling. I'm not quite that easy... I'm a goddess, after all."
  
  > Pray
  You prostrate yourself before the goddess.
  
  She lowers her gaze. "Welcome to Heaven, you fiendish thing. Come here, lover."
  
  Curb chases his tail, squealing frustration.
  
  > enter the bed
  You walk toward her, and she welcomes you with open arms. She smiles as you climb up into the big, white, furry couch.
  
  Just one kiss, and the world seems to dissolve around you...
  
  > kiss her
  Oh, now you've done it. Or at least, you presume that you've done it, since you don't really remember anything after that first kiss. You're all alone on your conjugal couch.
  
  Curb detracts from the scenic value of the vicinity.
  
  You can't see "her" (the Goddess) at the moment.