text: [Themes: Haunted  House, Humor, horror]
  
  > Go downward
  In the House (basement)
  You swim in fearsome dimness here! The exit is up!
  
  An enormous spider lies in wait for you! Its giant legs scratch on the floor and glowing red eyes glare at you evilly!
  
  The holy bible lies on the floor!
  
  > ask the spider about bible
  "I don't care what the ghost says: it's mine! Finders keepers!
  
  > ask the spider about the ghost
  "What a stuck-up old bitty!"
  
  > ask the spider about the slime
  "Now that one keeps to itself."
  
  > ask the spider about the spider
  "I like to think I'm a nice person."
  
  > ask the spider about the skeleton
  "Hey, it's a professional. It's supposed to guard something and it just does."
  
  > take the paint
  That's hardly portable.
  
  > eat the paint
  (first taking the peeling paint)
  That's hardly portable.
  
  > Go south
  You stand before the extremely terrifying house, trembling with fear! What waits within? Death? Something worse than death? You may go in to find out or return south to the drive!
  
  > go to the northeast
  Exits are southwest and southeast.
  
  Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest.
  
  > go southeast
  Paths lead southeast, east and northwest.
  
  Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest.
  
  A shiny sword lies in wait of a proud warrior here!
  
  > take sword
  Taken.
  
  > Full
  You have so far scored 2 out of a possible 8, in 98 turns.
  
  > go to the west
  Exits are east, west and southwest.
  
  > go to the south-west
  Paths lead northeast, west and northwest.
  
  Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest.
  
  > Go north
  You stand before the extremely terrifying house, trembling with fear! What waits within? Death? Something worse than death? You may go in to find out or return south to the drive!
  
  Argh! A giant stone harpy swoops down on you! You can't dive out of the way!
  
  Large talons sink into your shoulder and you're carried far away and dropped into a hole in the side of a mountain!!
  
  Moonlight from the hole you fell through illuminates a terrible cave! It seems to be a nest with bits of bone and straw littering the floor! Very dark passages twist out to the northwest and north.
  
  > Search bones
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > kill the hatchling
  You hack at it with the sword, and it ducks!
  
  "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword!
  
  > Go north
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  Claustrophobic passages wind east, south, southwest and northwest.
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > Go northwest
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  Oppresive granite surfaces are on all sides! You can go to the east and southeast.
  
  A harpy egg sits on the floor unguarded.
  
  > get the egg
  Taken.
  
  > go southeast
  Claustrophobic passages wind east, south, southwest and northwest.
  
  > Go south
  Moonlight from the hole you fell through illuminates a terrible cave! It seems to be a nest with bits of bone and straw littering the floor! Very dark passages twist out to the northwest and north.
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > run
  You'll have to say which compass direction to go in.
  
  "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword!
  
  > go to the north-west
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  The stone of the walls surround you! Exits lead northeast and southeast.
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > go to the northwest
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  Oppresive granite surfaces are on all sides! You can go to the east and southeast.
  
  > go to the east
  Twisty passages go southeast and west. You fear you are lost!
  
  > Go southeast
  The creepiness of these caves push down on you! Exits are west, northwest, north and southwest.
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > Go southwest
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  This cave tunnel goes from northeast to east!
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > go east
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  The only exit goes to the west, though a thin fragile-looking column props up the cracked rock of the ceiling and seems to be protruding from a hole in the floor! Could the hole be a way out of these caves???
  
  > go to the west
  This cave tunnel goes from northeast to east!
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > Go east
  You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword!
  
  The only exit goes to the west, though a thin fragile-looking column props up the cracked rock of the ceiling and seems to be protruding from a hole in the floor! Could the hole be a way out of these caves???
  
  A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run!
  
  > Climb column
  I don't think much is to be achieved by that.
  
  "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword!
  
  > Up
  You don't know where it leads!
  
  You can't go that way.
  
  "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword!
  
  > enter the hole
  You can't reach through the column!
  
  "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword!
  
  > hit column
  You strike the column with the sword *CLANG*, and a crack forms! You hit it again and again until it breaks!
  
  Oh no the ceiling is falling! The exit is blocked off, and you have no choice but to dive down the hole where you land *SPLOOSH* in --
  
  This water is flowing too fast! You'll be smashed against the walls and killed!
  
  > Dive
  It's all you can do to keep your head above the water!
  
  Nothing can save you now, you think, as the river flow pulls you away!
  
  > Swim
  It's all you can do to keep your head above the water!
  
  You struggle, barely keeping your head up!
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a harpy egg
  a shiny sword
  a plastic bottle
  a lamp (providing light)
  
  My goodness! A vine hangs down in the water ahead! You have to grab it now, to pull yourself out!
  
  > get the vine
  You grab it and pull up! You've saved yourself!
  
  After taking a moment gasping for air, you climb the vine up through a hole...
  
  A frightening hole in the ground terminates the drive going north!