text: [Themes: edutainment]
  
  The breeze feels cool against your face as you walk down the street. It's a typical Victoria evening, overcast and grey, but you have more on your mind than just the weather. There's a party tonight and you want to arrive with a cold six-pack.
  
  "Ready to do this?" You ask your friend Reily as you look down the driveway towards the detached garage. He nods. He's a tall lanky fellow.
  
  "No time like the present".
  
  Pulling a Philips screwdriver from your pocket you begin removing the screws that secure the metal latch to the garage door. They turn easily, and soon you are inside the garage. Clearing away an old cooler and some tools from in front of the bar fridge you're not concerned about being noisy. You saw your neighbor's truck leave an hour ago. They usually went away on the weekends.
  
  Opening the fridge you see what you came for. A crisp six pack of cold beer. Smiling joyfully you raise it up. Tonight will be a good night.
  
  The beer mission complete you both start rooting around to see if there is anything else of value. You check out a chainsaw, a set of chisels, a few surfboards, but everything is too big to conceal at home. Your friend starts looking nervous, peaking out the door every few minutes.
  
  "Hey man we should get out of here" he says.
  
  How do you respond?
  
  > worry too much. Let's see if there's any other cool stuff in here.
  "You can keep looking around if you want but I'm outta here. Peace."
  
  "Fine. I'll text you in an hour then we'll go to that party" you reply. Reily gone, you keep looking around. Rooting through old wooden boxes you mostly find various nails, screws, and old hand tools. After another half hour you get bored and exit the garage.
  
  Starting toward the street a passing truck suddenly roars into the driveway, blue and red lights flashing. It's an undercover police vehicle! Someone must have seen you go in the garage.
  
  > run for it! The cop is probably old and out of shape.
  "Police! You're under arrest!" you hear as you turn around to flee. Dropping the six-pack of beer you sprint around the house and down the dark street as fast as your feet will carry you. You didn't get a good look at the officer as he jumped out of the police truck but you assume he's twice your age. What chance will he have to catch you?
  
  Suddenly you hear heavy footfalls behind you. This guy runs like the wind. Veering in desperation you try to escape into a front yard when you are tackled from behind. You go down hard in the wet grass.
  
  "Not too smart trying to outrun me", says the cop as he pulls your hands behind your back and cuffs them together, "I used to be a track star at UVIC. Now let's go pick up that six-pack you dropped and take a trip down to the police station. You're under arrest for break-in-enter and theft".
  
  "You can keep looking around if you want but I'm outta here. Peace."
  
  "Fine. I'll text you in an hour then we'll go to that party" you reply. Reily gone, you keep looking around. Rooting through old wooden boxes you mostly find various nails, screws, and old hand tools. After another half hour you get bored and exit the garage.
  
  Starting toward the street a passing truck suddenly roars into the driveway, blue and red lights flashing. It's an undercover police vehicle! Someone must have seen you go in the garage.
  
  > accept you've been caught. Running might just make things worse.
  No use running at this point. You're likely to get in even more trouble.
  
  The officer jumps out of the truck and tells you to put the beer on the ground and turn around. The rain falls down around you as he handcuffs your hands behind your back.
  
  "You're under arrest for break and enter and theft" he says as he guides you towards the back of the vehicle.[Themes: edutainment, true story]
  
  Journal Entry 37
  
  I have spent the past days preparing for my Grand Offensive. I will plunge through the attacking armies and destroy them, that fool McClellan would rather have us sitting in a ditch, which will only result in another Devil's Den situation. Thank God President Lincoln had the sense to put me in charge. I know that I have enemies, and a lot of people wish ill to me, but I believe that I can crush Jackson with my hands tied behind my back. It will be a challenge sure, but I am the next Napoleon, a bold statement to be sure, one that I will be caught speaking around others, but in my innermost thoughts, I truly believe this. Anyway the men are calling me, they wouldn't get anything done if I wasn't there to hold their hand.
  
  -John Pope
  
  You step out of your tent to take command of your troops. Apparently your scouts have discovered General Stonewall Jackson's Army. This isn't that bothering as you are sure you can beat them. Walking through the camp, you notice some of your men looking at you with contempt. They are most likely those fools who follow McClellan. The coming battle will be the time for you to rise up and prove your mettle. You doubt that Jackson will have any backup for awhile. It might be smarter to prepare your men to help ease your assault. Your men are awaiting your command, what shall you do?
  
  [Author's Note: This is for a history project. I didn't have as much time on it as I would have liked. I don't usually write non-fiction stories so hopefully it isn't more shit than my other shit stories. ¿Have fun?]
  
  > send More Scouts
  Although your intelligence reports are most likely correct it is probably best if you double-check it. You send out several scouts on horseback to deliver news. Your men polish their weapons and mentally prepare for the onslaught tomorrow. The scouts come back and report back to you. Apparently another Confederate army approaches, this one led by a man named General Longstreet. Troubling news indeed but the good news is that they are several days away, on foot of course. You could finish off Stonewall and then go for Longstreet, or you could send an advance party to Longstreet of one third of your force. The choice is yours.
  
  > focus on Stonewall, then go for Longstreet
  The following day you are ready, everyone is prepped and ready to go. Your "boys in blue" march at Stonewall's army in a surprise maneuver. With the help of your scouts, you pinpoint their camp location and drive a coordinated push. Some of the Confederate soldiers are still in nightclothes as you quickly take down the guards and decimate any gray coat that leave his tent with a musket. A white flag is quickly waved and Stonewall is captured, furious. You offer him coffee but he would rather stay in his tent pouting. One of your generals, Porter is his last name, suggest a daring plan. You could set up on a nearby hill and offer to Confederate General Longstreet that you will ransom Stonewall to them in exchange for parts of Robert E. Lee's battle plans. You know they will try to fake the plans, but the plans themselves don't matter at all. You will have 2 garrisons waiting behind the hill to strike. Or you could just try to take his army by surprise.
  
  > take his army by surprise
  You will crush Longstreet's Army and leave him defenseless against the might of your army. You meticulously plan your assault, preparing for the complete and utter annihilation of the enemy. It is all for naught however. During the battle your side loses a formidable part of your force, not enough for extreme distress, but an annoying factor. At the end of the day Longstreet retreats with most of his army still intact. All in all it is considered a victory by the people in Washington and you are hailed as a hero for capturing General Jackson, There are even rumors that Lincoln will give you a promotion. This is the End of Stonewall Ending