text: [Themes: modern]
  
  "Look, I'm just here to fix shit, not to indulge your Nam flashbacks."
  "Wait, do you even know how to fix anything?"
  "I can use a hammer."
  "Good enough. Well? Get to work motherfucker! (COUGH!)" Jim says and goes back to his work table in his office.
  You start to work on a TV. Soon a customer comes in. He doesn't look like he's from around here. He's well groomed for one thing. He has a disdainful look upon his face as he enters and approaches you.
  
  "Hey you, my car just broke down."
  "Oh yeah? That's tough shit. What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" you ask.
  "Well isn't this a repair place?"
  "Yeah, for TVs an' toasters an' shit, not fuckin' cars ya fucktard! Hector's garage is over on the other side of town."
  "I can't possibly be expected to go traipsing in this god forsaken town! I was just passing through, and had the misfortune of breaking down in front of your shop! Don't your type usually know how to fix vehicles?"
  "MY TYPE? What the..." before you can finish, Jim comes squeaking from his office.
  "What the hell's going on here?"
  "This uptight bitch came in here demanding that I fix his car, I told him Hector's garage is over on the other side of town."
  Jim looks at the outsider up and down.
  "You willin' to pay up boy?" Jim asks.
  "Yes, yes! Anything, I just want to get out of this town!"
  "Alright, assuming your car isn't in too bad of condition, (COUGH! COUGH!) I think we probably got the tools and supplies here to fix it."
  "Good! And be quick about it!" the man says and walks out the door.
  "Well you heard him Mel." Jim says.
  "What? I didn't sign up for that!" you say
  "(COUGH!) Oh fuck Mel that dickhead (COUGH!) probably just blew a hose or some shit. It can't be that hard to fix! Besides with Petrov cuttin' in on my business, it'll be a nice (COUGH!) chunk of change."
  "Wait, aren't YOU cutting in on Hector's business by getting into fixing vehicles?"
  "Look, are ya gonna do it or (COUGH!) not ya argumentative sonofabitch?"
  
  > refuse to fix the car
  "Look if you wanna go fix that shithead's car go right ahead, but I ain't doin' it! He's already pissed me off, with his condescending attitude. I'm libel to kick his ass."
  "(COUGH!) Oh fine I'll fuckin' do it then! Get back to fuckin' work on that TV and look after the shop if you think (COUGH!) you can handle that!"
  "Yeah, yeah. See ya later Ironside." You say dismissively as he squeaks out the door.
  
  You work in peace until someone enters the shop. Oh great it's your "friend" Dan. He's very surprised to see you. He's looking around and twitchy as usual.
  
  "Hey Mel, what're you doing here?"
  "I work here now, what're you doing here?"
  "Uh, no reason..."
  "Bullshit, you're probably in here to rip something off to support your fuckin' habit! Shit, you're so fuckin' obvious!"
  "I am not! I was uh, looking for a job here too!"
  "Dan, you gotta be fucking desperate, what fucking dealer is going to take BROKEN TVS as payment?! Not to mention stupid, you know what Jim would do to you, if he caught you? Crazy fucker has more weapons than the army."
  "Shhh! Come on Mel, isn't there something here that's fixed yet?"
  "How should I know? I just started working here! I guess that waffle iron over on that table's fixed. In fact anything on that table I think is ready. And NO! You're not getting me in fuckin' trouble because you're a goddamn thieving junkie! So you'd better just go else where."
  "Aww come on! I just need something!"
  
  > let Dan take something
  "Oh alright, but just ONE fuckin' thing! So make sure you can get something for it."
  "Thanks Mel!" Dan goes over and quickly assesses that the small color TV will suit his needs.
  "Hey genius, now how are you going to get it out of here? Jim's right outside you know."
  "Yeah, but he's busy with a car I saw him working on."
  You got back to work as Dan tries to compose himself so as not to appear obvious when he exits.
  "What going on here?!" Mei Mei says as she suddenly appears out of nowhere! It doesn't take long for her to assess the situation. "You stealing stuff! JIIIIIIIIIIIM!"
  
  Dan immediately breaks for the door. You hear Jim yell "Hey stop, you stealing motherfucker!" and a couple of shots are fired, followed by some screams and then a loud crash. You rush outside and see Jim getting ready to waste Dan, who's begging for mercy at this point, he's already been twice shot in the leg.
  "NO! Don't kill me! (Sob!)" Dan screams.
  "Whoa! Hold on there! You got him Jim! Let's let the police handle this now, I'll call them."
  "This pissant was trying to steal from me! He deserves to die! And why the hell weren't you stopping him?! Unless you were in on this! (COUGH!) That why you wanted a job? To be the guy on the inside, while your junkie friend ripped me off?!" he points the gun at you!
  "What?! Fuck no! I was working in there, and then Dan just grabbed something off the table! I couldn't react fast enough! Come on Jim, you don't need to fuckin' kill him, think about all the shit that's gonna happen to him in jail. I say he'll be a bitch within the week."
  Jim looks at you apprehensively, but puts his gun away.
  "Well I reckon that WOULD be a fate worse than death. Alright go call the (COUGH!) sheriff."
  
  > call the police
  You go back inside and call what passes for police around here, and manage to catch them in the rare moment when they aren't eating donuts. They come over pretty quickly and take Dan away. You assume he'll go to a hospital first, but you never know in this county. Soon, the "tourist" and his girlfriend come back just in time for this little event to be finished. They pay Jim the outrageous amount of money he charges and leave. The rest of the day is uneventful, until you ask for an advance in your pay at the end of the day.
  
  "(COUGH!) You're fuckin' shittin' me right? That junkie friend of yours ended up breaking the TV he stole when I shot him! I gotta spend time fixing it again! Time is money! Not to mention I still dunno if (COUGH!) I fuckin' trust you! As a matter of fact I don't want you fucking working here anyway, if those are the type people you hang out with!"
  
  You're not really surprised by all of this.
  "I don't need this fuckin' job anyway!" you say as you walk out the door. "And by the way, you lost that war!"
  "WHAT! WHAT! Why you, fuckin'..." you hear Jim yell as you rush into your truck. Some more gunshots are fired as you drive off.
  
  You go straight home, pissed off, and what's worse there's nothing alcoholic to drink. You stew for awhile until you get the bright idea to take the various beer cans on the ground and pour the residue into a dirty glass and add water. It tastes like warm horse piss, you immediately spit it out. Tina comes home to see what you're doing and laughs.
  
  "You really are fuckin' hopeless you know that?"
  "Shut up and come here, I need to put my tongue on something that tastes good." You say still spitting out the beer.