text: [Themes: Humor, aliens, science fiction, humor, female protagonist]
  
  > 2
  [Black.]
  
  You may not be at the top of the social pyramid, but this solid choice won't hold you back, either--keep your raven tresses washed and bobbed, and you'll still get plenty of attention! Just watch your wardrobe, and stay away from dungarees and too-bright colors. You don't want to look ethnic!
  
  Question 2: Worries may bring wrinkles, but from time to time, we all get a little fretful--it's our feminine nature! What worries you the most?
  
  1) My clothes.
  2) My weight.
  3) Nuclear war.
  4) My makeup.
  
  > 4
  [My makeup.]
  
  Every girl worries about her makeup. Remember  those old sayings from 'when mother was a girl': "If you're in a rush, just a little blush" but "it's worth half an hour to cover that glower!" Also, "girls who eat off their lipstick soon find it makes hips thick." We hope those help!
  
  Question 3: We've all got that one can't-live-without-it item we tuck into our purses before leaving the house. What's yours?
  
  1) A book of poems. Ah, Dickinson!
  2) A girl can't be too careful, so I always carry a switchblade.
  3) My collapsible hula hoop!
  4) Don't laugh, but...I still carry a teddy bear.
  
  > 3
  [My collapsible hula hoop!]
  
  You're a real party-girl, and your careful choice shows that you're a fun date AND you like to keep fit. Just watch where you swing those hips; a modest hooper is a popular hooper!
  
  Question 4: What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
  
  1) Vanilla.
  2) Chocolate.
  3) Strawberry.
  4) Mint.
  5) Lime.
  6) Fudge ripple.
  7) Raspberry.
  8) Rocky road.
  9) Black Forest double fudge.
  10) Tutti-frutti.
  11) Death-by-chocolate triple fudge.
  
  > 8
  [Rocky road.]
  
  As you put your pencil to the page, Jimmy yanks the magazine away from you. "Aw, come on, Bonnie! Whyagotta keep your nose stuck in that magazine alla time? What are you doin', takin' a test? Gee whiz, you'd think we were in class instead of at the Parking Spot!" He leans back in the driver's seat and folds his muscular arms across his chest. "Aren't we gonna... you know...park?"
  
  1) Let's look this "Jimmy" customer over.
  2) "Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
  with that German exchange student?"
  3) "We haven't even been dating that long. What will people say?"
  4) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
  5) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
  
  > 3
  ["We haven't even been dating that long. What will people
  say?"]
  
  "Aw, we've been on five dates already. If I don't get kissed soon, the fellas will start callin' me a yellow-belly!"
  
  1) Let's look this "Jimmy" customer over.
  2) "Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
  with that German exchange student?"
  3) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
  4) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
  
  > 1
  [Let's look this "Jimmy" customer over.]
  
  He's a real dreamboat--tall, tan, his athlete's body wrapped in a tight varsity jacket that shows off his broad chest and well-muscled arms. He sees you looking and flashes his trademark gleaming grin, the one that makes girls melt into puddles.
  
  1) "Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
  with that German exchange student?"
  2) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
  3) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
  
  > 1
  ["Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
  with that German exchange student?"]
  
  "Gosh, no! I mean, I was. But that was before I met you, and anyway, she was awful, just awful. Her breath tasted like those weird cigarettes she smokes and she wouldn't shut up about, gosh, I don't know what-all it was about. And she had that gross hairy mole on her rear end!"
  
  1) "I guess I can expect you to blab to the next girl about MY hairy mole..."
  2) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
  3) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
  
  > 1
  ["I guess I can expect you to blab to the next girl about MY hairy mole..."]
  
  "Ha, ha" Jimmy snorts. He looks concerned. "Wait, Bonnie. That was a joke, right?"
  
  1) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
  2) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
  
  > 2
  [Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!]
  
  "Look," you say, "I'm sorry, but...I'm just not that sort of girl." Jimmy frowns. "I'm starting to think you're not a girl at all--you're more like a cold fish!"
  "Well, better a cold fish than an overheated wolf!" you shoot back. "Well, I'D rather be a wolf than a stuck-up cow!"
  
  The conversation goes steadily downhill from there.
  
  "Yak!"
  "Skunk!"
  "Crab!"
  "Hippo!"
  "Oooh, grow up you...you axolotl!"
  "Well, you're a gazelle! Only, y'know, like an insult, as in 'That Bonnie, she's dumb as a gazelle!' I'm not calling you graceful--" "Wait, shh! What was that?" A sound outside the car has caught your attention.
  attention.It's a low gurgling noise, like the gentle babbling of a brook. But that's impossible--The Parking Spot is at the top of a cliff! There's nothing up here but pine trees and gravel roads. The headlights throw the shadows of the trunks into sharp relief.
  
  A black shape appears right in front of you! You stifle a shriek. It's only a deer. The doe ignores you, wandering off into the trees.
  
  The gurgling noise gets louder, than starts to die away. "It's probably just Old Man McDillingfitty," Jimmy says. "That old busybody is always trying to get us kids in trouble!"
  
  With a sickening thud, half of a deer carcass smashes into the front of the car, splattering the windshield with intestines and greenish-yellow ichor. The hindquarters are completely gone, ripped cleanly off, or maybe melted by the glowing goo which is now burning its way through the engine.
  
  "My car!" Jimmy cries. "That's it. Stay here, Bonnie. I'm going to go give that dirty old man a piece of my mind!"
  go give that dirty old man a piece of my mind!"He gets out of the car and walks towards the trees. "Hello? Mr. McDillingfitty? Is that you?"
  
  The gurgling, slithering noise gets louder and louder. You can hear noises, heavy but somehow soft, like garbage bags full of gelatin dropping into a parking lot from an enormous height. A shadow rises above the trees, visible only as an absense of stars.
  
  "Golly," Jimmy says. "McDillingfitty is taller than I remembered. He was in the war, wasn't he? Uh--maybe--maybe we should just go--"
  
  A ropy tentacle as thick around as a tree trunk shoots out of the woods and lifts Jimmy off of his feet. "Oh, heck!" he cries in alarm as he's hoisted into the air. The headlights flicker and die. Abrupt and near-total darkness is split by screams of agony. "My brain! You're guzzling my brain! Y-you're not Old Man
  McDilling--"
  
  His voice cuts off, and you can hear horrible sucking sounds. Oh gosh! He's being devoured alive! Oh gosh! Oh gosh! That monster--that horrible thing out there, whatever it is--is eating him! And
  now it's going to eat you!
  
  Oh my gosh!
  
  You're crouched in the front seat of Jimmy's car. Well, technically now it's kind of your car, since he's dead and your were practically almost sort of his girlfriend. It comes fully loaded with all the latest options: a steering wheel, glove compartment, horn, parking brake, headlights and so on.
  
  Outside is a sea of moonless black, but you know roughly where you are--you're at The Parking Spot, with the front of the car pointing up the steep incline towards the patch of scraggly pines growing on the mountaintop. A short dirt path behind you leads back down to the main road.
  
  You can't see a horrible monster here, but that doesn't mean there isn't one.
  
  > About yourself
  You're Bonnie Noodleman, a spunky eighteen-year-old with raven-black hair. You're wearing a stylish pleated gray skirt and navy-blue sweater.
  
  > examine the car
  Wow, this is a real keen ride! It's got all sorts of features, like a horn, and headlights, and a parking brake, and even a steering wheel, and the whole thing is painted a real swell red that you could get out and admire if it wasn't pitch dark, and if you could leave the car without dying messily.
  
  > look at the brake
  It keeps the car from rolling away. It's on right now. You can PULL it to take it off.
  
  > pull the brake
  You yank hard on the brake. The car shudders, then begins rolling backwards. Oh, goody--it's working! You feel happy butterflies in your belly as the Meteor gently slides back onto the smooth asphalt of the main road.
  
  The slithering, gibbering noises are fading. Whatever that brain-guzzling monster is, every second that passes is taking you farther away from it. And not only are you escaping, but as your escape continues, it goes faster...
  
  ...and faster...
  
  ...and maybe you're escaping a little TOO much, because you've got to be going about seventy or eighty miles now backwards down a mountain road in a car that doesn't really work.
  
  > pull break
  road in a car that doesn't really work.You grab the wheel and do your best to at least steer, whipping around corners at high speed and barely staying on the road. You're doing okay, though--and then you see it in the rearview mirror! Dead Teenager's Curve, the most dangerous patch of road in the state. Golly, don't tell me you survived a monster attack only to die in an ordinary traffic accident!
  
  You wrestle with the wheel, but it's not enough. The Meteor bursts through the guardrail and sails out into an ocean of cold air and stars! Oh gosh! It's going end over end now, sky and ground switching places in a dizzying whirl. "Jeepers, what a pickle!" you think as your forehead smashes into the steering column.
  your forehead smashes into the steering column...........
  your forehead smashes into the steering column.....................
  your forehead smashes into the steering column.....................Your eyelids flutter open. Holy moly, does your head ever hurt! You drag yourself out from under the wreckage of the Meteor, crawling on your belly into the light of a cool, gray morning. You feel awful, but at least you're alive.
  
  You're standing in the drive-in on the edge of town, where all the coolest teens come to ignore movies. To the north is Make-Out Mountain, and flanking it are a number of less controversial mountains. Mist hangs in the cool air, clinging to the stunted pines and making the screen slick with tiny droplets. A dirt road leads south, and you can see buildings nestled in the low bowl of the valley.
  
  A smoking wreck is parked here upside down.
  
  > look at the wreck
  The remains of the Mercury Meteor -- well, technically, now that it's hit the Earth's surface the correct term is "meteorite." Most of it's destroyed, but the glove compartment survived.
  
  > open the glove compartment
  You open the glove compartment, revealing a Canyonville High yearbook.
  
  > take the yearbook
  Taken.
  
  > look at the yearbook
  (You turn to the Table of Contents)
  
  1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
  2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
  3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 1
  [Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager]
  
  Words of Wisdom from your Beloved Principal, Oswald J. Dunkin.
  
  How times have changed! When I was a lad, a youth in Canyonville meant summers helping dear old Dad on his pine nut plantation or cranking my old Model T to take my sweetheart to the movies. The teens of today can expect to spend their salad days soaring through space, trading in the old shovel and hoe for a pair of rocket repair gloves and magnetic astro-boots. Yet we dusty old fogies have, perhaps, picked up a thing or two in our time on this Earth--so it would indeed behoove you to listen up, because what I've got to say might just help you out some day!
  
  Always remember the value of a friendly word. If you see someone, friend or stranger, TALK TO them! This simple courtesy is sure to help you get ahead in life.
  
  Also, try to keep in mind that whatever this old universe of ours throws at you, there's always a way out, and you can never really die. If you do happen upon some awkward patch of the universe that won't allow you to proceed, simply UNDO to move a short distance backwards in time! Truly, the modern age is filled with marvels!
  
  With warmest thanks to all my students, Oswald J. Dunkin, Principal.
  
  (You turn to the Table of Contents)
  
  1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
  2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
  3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 2
  [Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow]
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 5
  [Noodleman, Bonnie]
  
  Winner, Miss Human Compass Junior Orienteer, 1956
  Winner, Pine Nut Days Girls' Grocery-Balancing Competition, 1958
  
  Played the Widow Fobb, mother of Canyonville founder Charles Fobb, in "Birth of a Town."
  
  "Go west. Take all."- from "Birth of a Town"
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 3
  [Johnson, Jimmy]
  
  Fighting Conifers, quarterback, 1959
  Fighting Conifers, mascot, 1958, 1957
  Voted Most Likely To Live To A Hundred
  
  "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the
  life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 1
  [Brandt, Traudl]
  
  Poets of Tomorrow, founder
  Junior Coffee Enthusiasts, participant
  NOTE: Miss Brandt has been expelled for gross unseemliness.
  
  Regrettably, Miss Brandt also selected an unprintable quote.
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 2
  [Finch, Renee]
  
  Canyonville High Sci-Fi Enthusiasts Club, president, vice president, secretary, treasurer
  Bake Sale Honorable Mention, 1959
  
  "If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." - H. G. Wells
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 4
  [Minsky, Mary Jane]
  
  Canyonville Pine Nut Queen 1959, 1958, 1957, 1956
  Canyonville Junior Pine Nut Princess 1955, 1954, 1953, 1952, 1951, 1950, 1949, 1948, 1947, 1946, 1945, 1944, 1943
  Most Beautiful Baby, 1942
  Third Runner-Up, Miss Albuquerque Greater Metro Area and Surrounding Counties, 1958
  Decoration Committee
  Glee Club
  Cheer Squad
  
  "Any girl can look glamorous." - Hedy Lamarr
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 6
  [Yoshida, Jenny]
  
  Blue Ribbon, Pine Nut Days Pie Competition, for "Etude in Sugar and Green"
  
  "Earth laughs in flowers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
  
  (You turn to the index of students)
  
  You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!
  
  1) Brandt, Traudl
  2) Finch, Renee
  3) Johnson, Jimmy
  4) Minsky, Mary Jane
  5) Noodleman, Bonnie
  6) Yoshida, Jenny
  7) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 7
  [(Close the yearbook)]
  
  You're standing in the drive-in on the edge of town, where all the coolest teens come to ignore movies. To the north is Make-Out Mountain, and flanking it are a number of less controversial mountains. Mist hangs in the cool air, clinging to the stunted pines and making the screen slick with tiny droplets. A dirt road leads south, and you can see buildings nestled in the low bowl of the valley.
  
  A smoking wreck is parked here upside down.
  
  > read the yearbook
  (You turn to the Table of Contents)
  
  1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
  2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
  3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 3
  [Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness]
  
  (You turn to the index of community sidebars)
  
  Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!
  
  1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
  2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
  3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 1
  [TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past]
  
  Boston entrepreneur Charles Fobb came west in 1841 with a dream--a dream of a rich, fertile paradise nestled in the heart of the New Mexican desert. What he found was Canyonville.
  
  When Fobb arrived, the savage inhabitants of "Tuva", as they called it, lived a stagnant life of sloth and indolence, grown fat and lazy on the abundant pine nuts and other natural bounty. Saddened at this wasted potential, the kind-hearted Fobb used his golden tongue to convince them to leave the valley for a challenging, industrious life of adventure in the surrounding desert -- except for a few fast friends who were extended an invitation to stay on as Fobb's honored guests. Tuva was rechristened Fobbville, and our city's history began.
  
  The little town prospered, founding a rich agricultural tradition. Pine nuts were soon seen on tables from Fobb's native Boston to Buckingham Palace. Then in 1863--tragedy! Changes to the US legal code resulted in Fobb losing his beloved farmhands. An ill-advised attempt at switching to polished-pine buggywhip handles devastated Fobbville's food production potential for a decade. Fobb's son, Johnward Cable Fobb, soundly defeated Charles in the mayoral election, ushering in a new error of honest government which lasted until he was tragically hanged for murder and horse theft in 1877.
  
  The town, now renamed Canyonville, was by now a popular crossroads of commerce and ideas. In 1912, statehood came knocking, and our city answered the call, boldly throwing its hat in the ring for consideration as state capital. Sadly, the people of New Mexico foolishly took pity on the poorly-run shantytown of Santa Fe instead.
  
  Never one to rest on its considerable laurels, Canyonville rebounded, becoming a bustling tourist destination. The World's Largest Pine Nut, a magnificent behemoth the size of a size four ladies' evening slipper, stood in the town square from 1917 to 1933, when it was devoured by a squirrel. The town took the loss in stride, playfully holding a "trial" for the hungry beast before sentencing him to be hanged by the neck until dead. The squirrel died of natural causes two years later, and the warrant for whoever was sneaking him food remains outstanding. By that time, a new world's largest pine nut had been located and placed in a secure case in the city hall atrium, where it remained until being cracked and rendered into nut butter for the war effort in 1942.
  
  Truly, a history of triumph! What's next for Canyonville? Only you, her treasured youth, can finish this story.
  
  (You turn to the index of community sidebars)
  
  Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!
  
  1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
  2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
  3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 2
  [PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present]
  
  Canyonville: Area on the Go! From the beautiful southwestern architectures of the Old West End to Main Street's bustling shops and our lush town square, Canyonville today is known for its high quality of life. Teens enjoy "keen" nights out at the "nifty" drive-in or have a burger at Finch's. Undoubtedly the high point of the year, however, is Pine Nut Days, our annual celebration of nature's glorious bounty. Goggle at the parade, thrill to fairground extravagance, or try one of the tasty treats on offer. And always keep in mind our motto-"Nothing Bad Could Possibly Happen During Pine Nut Days." So, as Jughead might say on Life With Archie--relaaaaaax!
  
  (You turn to the index of community sidebars)
  
  Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!
  
  1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
  2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
  3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > 3
  [MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future]
  
  Space travel. Robotics. Transportation. All of these words and more appear in the pamphlets for MinSystems Labs, our fair city's leading source of non-agricultural income. Tours of the facility and the techno-wizardry within are available twice weekly. Will you be the first Canyonvillian in space?
  
  Don't forget to check out the fantastical Tomorrowdome, the exterior of which is visible through many windows in public areas!
  
  (You turn to the index of community sidebars)
  
  Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!
  
  1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
  2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
  3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
  4) (Close the yearbook)
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a Canyonville High yearbook
  a collapsible hula hoop
  a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
  a game pamphlet
  
  > look at the hula hoop
  It's a hula hoop. It folds up when you're not using it. It's only useful for hula-ing.
  
  > use the hula hoop
  You use the hula hoop. Fun! Then it falls down around your ankles.
  
  > examine the pamphlet
  A small pamphlet you picked up at the five and dime. READ it to learn about the game.