text: [Themes: horror, horror]
  
  You wake up in a strange place. Bleary eyed, you try to blink the crust from the corners of your eyes. What happened? You feel dizzy and sick. There's intense heat all around you. Cold sweat has already drenched you from head to toe. Nothing's making much sense, but you decide to sit up. You rub your eyes and suddenly, like a a gust of strong wind, your memories flood back in you head. The breath is knocked out of you as you remember last night.
  
  The gang! The kidnapping! Suddenly it clicks.
  
  "I'm dead?" You say out loud in a meek voice.
  
  "Of course you are." Says a sly voice located in front of you.
  
  > blink a few times and try to locate the voice
  You blink several times to clear the blurriness from your eyes and look up to see an oddly shaped creature. The creature's body is completely black with long parrot like legs connected to a very, very thin almost skeleton like body with long arms that have finely sharpen claws and a head almost how you imagine a dragon head to be like. The creature grins at you showing of it's razor sharp pearly whites.
  
  > get up and run for the door
  You get up on weak legs and sprint for the door as fast as you can. However, the creature is much faster than you and seems to have powers beyond the human mind's comprehension. With it's powers, he simply holds his hand up and a thrusts it forward. And without touch you psychically, the powers knock you back into the wall behind you so hard that you loose your breath. You gasp for breath as the creature decides to stand in front of the door, just in case you were to try again. He's still grinning.
  
  "That's always the first move people make. Either run for their mommies or freeze up. You've passed the first test, congratulations." The creature said in a very mischievous tone. You stare at the creature not sure whether you should move or not. You wipe you sweaty palms on your pants.
  
  You blink several times to clear the blurriness from your eyes and look up to see an oddly shaped creature. The creature's body is completely black with long parrot like legs connected to a very, very thin almost skeleton like body with long arms that have finely sharpen claws and a head almost how you imagine a dragon head to be like. The creature grins at you showing of it's razor sharp pearly whites.
  
  > freeze and just sit there
  You freeze up and just sit there staring with your jaw dropped in shock.
  
  "Interesting..." The creature says. "Most run for the door."
  
  You blink several times to clear the blurriness from your eyes and look up to see an oddly shaped creature. The creature's body is completely black with long parrot like legs connected to a very, very thin almost skeleton like body with long arms that have finely sharpen claws and a head almost how you imagine a dragon head to be like. The creature grins at you showing of it's razor sharp pearly whites.
  
  > start to cry
  You start to cry hysterically. I'm mean who wouldn't? You just found out you're dead, and that your captured by some odd creature who looking for any opportunity to kill you.
  
  "Tsk, tsk," The creature clicks his tongue in obvious distaste. "Looks like we've got a weak one...." The creature says inching closer and closer to you. You back up in fear but hit the wall behind you. "You'll make a poor demon..... Too bad." The creature smiles pleasantly at you. "Any last words?"[Themes: modern, humor]
  
  You awaken. You are lying in bed.
  
  > To get up, go to 2.
  You get out of bed.
  Your head hurts and your clothes, stinking of nicotine and stale beer, lie scattered on the floor like toys scattered in a child's nursery.
  
  > To go back to bed, go to 3.
  You lie in your bed, experiencing a wave of misery and self-loathing sweeping over you as you remember your alcohol-fuelled behaviour from the previous evening.
  
  The particularly bad parts inspire a reflexive physical spasm of horror in your legs as they flash through your mind.
  
  The hangover is now quite bad.
  
  > To jam your pillow over your head and pray to an uncaring universe that this torment ceases, go to 4.
  The womb-like anonymity of the pillow is soon interrupted by an involuntary rasping noise from your throat. Overnight the beer monkey has sandpapered your mouth with crushed sloe berries. The glass of water that you are sure you brought to bed with you is nowhere to be seen.
  The sunshine lances through your half-drawn curtains.
  
  > To go to the kitchen in search of water, go to 6.
  You go into the kitchen. The curtains are back and it must be nearing midday, as a small crowd of slack-jawed ASBO fodder have paused on the street outside to gawp at you as you stagger around in your underwear.
  
  > To draw the kitchen curtains go to 10.
  You draw the kitchen curtains to a hail of unimaginative abuse from your new friends.
  
  You head back to the sink to get some water.
  
  > go to 14.
  At the sink you pour yourself a glass of water. Drinking it slakes your thirst a little but mainly just agitates whatever it is that tastes so unpleasant in your mouth. You need something to take the taste away.
  
  > To scour the kitchen for something, go to 17.
  You spot a cooling cafetiere of coffee standing on the side. It is lukewarm – obviously your housemates have been up, got ready like civilised people and gone about their daily business.
  
  You are glad you missed them so that you can pretend you have also been out at the Royal
  
  Academy seeing the new Modigliani exhibition rather than cowering in your bed and snoring.
  
  Alternatively there is some orange juice in the fridge.
  
  > To warm up the coffee in the microwave, go to 19.
  'Somebody' has left a half-eaten kebab in the microwave.
  
  > To follow the maxim 'The first bite is with the eyes' and to dispose of the kebab into the festering kitchen bin before using the microwave, go to 24.
  The mouldering organic matter in the bin necessitates the removal of its swing-top lid before you can add the kebab to the pile. An accomplished balancing act followed by the swift and firm reapplication of the lid ensures that the removal of the kebab from the house will be a matter for a more discerning housemate.
  You microwave the coffee in a Mickey Mouse mug your housemate brought back from a family vacation to
  
  Disneyland .
  
  > To microwave the coffee for 20 seconds, go to 29.
  You take the coffee out of the microwave. It's still a little tepid but perhaps that's best for the unadventurous morning drinker. You start to think that maybe a diuretic wasn't the best thing for a hangover, but at least the caffeine should kick in soon.
  Mickey Mouse looks back at you from the mug. He is surely laughing at you.
  
  > To ditch the mocking rodent and head out, go to 20.
  As you are getting ready to leave, the doorbell rings.
  
  > If you have made an obscene gesture at a group of loutish youths, turn to 25.
  A Community Support Officer stands at the door. She explains that some children down the street have told her that you exposed yourself to them and made a lewd gesture through your window.
  
  You are still only wearing your pants.
  
  > To fail to find the energy to explain the situation and accede to her request that you accompany her to the station, thereby surrendering to the power of dramatic irony, go to 33.
  As you are bundled into a police car, wearing just your pants and a police-issue blanket, your friends from earlier gather to hurl insults and make crude suggestions as what they are going to do to your mother.
  
  The signals of the larger members of the gang leave you as to no doubt that you will return to the house to find it sprayed with faeces, White Lightning cider and the word 'nonce' in four-foot high letters across the front door.
  
  Your adventure ends here.