text: [Themes: Historical, child protagonist, Victorian, family]
  
  > Describe the surroundings
  Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.
  
  Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.
  
  Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
  
  > Examine books
  Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... De
  Doctrina Christiana. Ah yes, the works of Augustine of Hippo.
  Of course, Uncle Stephen would only have the Latin translations.
  
  You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
  
  > examine it
  It's a large box of matches that Uncle Stephen keeps handy, for lighting his pipe. He goes through an awful lot of them, no-one knows why.
  
  > Light match
  Uncle Stephen would skin you alive.
  
  > take match
  You already have that.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a large matchbox
  a walking stick
  a brown folder
  Uncle Stephen's old sermons
  
  > look at the fireplace
  You wouldn't think, to look at it, that this is actually the back side of the much-larger kitchen fireplace, would you? It's so dressed up that it looks like the front side of something fancy. But yes, the two fireplaces share a flue and everything, though the flue itself is really only accessible from the kitchen side.
  
  > put all in the fireplace
  large matchbox: That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
  walking stick: That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
  brown folder: That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
  
  > Go west
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  The hall closet door is half-open.
  
  > go to the west
  The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.
  
  An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.
  
  On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
  
  From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.
  
  Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
  
  You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
  
  Aunt Emma spots the walking stick in your possession. "Hector Percival Conrad! What are you doing with your Uncle Stephen's walking stick? Put it back at once!"
  
  She practically bullies you out into the hall on the way to returning everything to its rightful place.
  
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  The hall closet door is half-open.
  
  > drop all
  (the brown folder)
  Dropped.
  
  > Go west
  The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.
  
  An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.
  
  On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
  
  From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.
  
  Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
  
  You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
  
  > get all
  elaborate flower centrepiece: Taken.
  displaced gnomon: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  snake locket: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  white cat: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  wooden goblet: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  flower saucer: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  ship painting: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  black falcon: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  glass unicorn: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  duelling pistol: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
  
  Aunt Emma spots the big, brushy centrepiece in your hands. "Hector Percival Conrad! That belongs in the dining room ... you'll get dry leaves and petals all over the place and Janet isn't around to sweep up after you. Put that back right now!"
  
  She practically bullies you out into the hall on the way to returning the stupid thing to its rightful place.
  
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  You can see a brown folder (in which are Uncle Stephen's old sermons) here.
  
  > go east
  Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.
  
  Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.
  
  Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. White smoke curls from the bowl of his pipe.
  
  The last of the smoke from Uncle Stephen's pipe dissipates into the air.
  
  > go west
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  You can see a brown folder (in which are Uncle Stephen's old sermons) here.
  
  > examine the front door
  The front door is large and imposing ... and creaky. Morris says that Aunt Emma makes him keep it that way so she can hear when anyone comes in or out of the house.
  
  > get all
  brown folder: Taken.
  
  > Go northwest
  The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.
  
  On the dining table is an elaborate flower centrepiece.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  an elaborate flower centrepiece
  a large matchbox
  a brown folder
  Uncle Stephen's old sermons
  
  > Go east
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.
  
  Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
  
  > look at the sermons
  Uncle Stephen's old sermons. You've been forced to read a couple of them, unfortunately, and the fact that there are more just makes your head want to implode.
  
  > put the sermons in the fireplace
  That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
  
  > enter the fireplace
  You'll only get yourself covered in soot.
  
  > show the sermons to Uncle
  (first taking Uncle Stephen's old sermons)
  You're not feeling ready for sleep just yet.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  an elaborate flower centrepiece
  a large matchbox
  a brown folder
  Uncle Stephen's old sermons
  
  > drop all but the folder
  elaborate flower centrepiece: Dropped.
  large matchbox: Dropped.
  
  > go to the west
  The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.
  
  An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.
  
  On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
  
  From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.
  
  Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
  
  > show the sermons to Emma
  Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. A few pages later, she stops and begins to explain the whole thing to you. While she's nowhere near as stuffy as Uncle Stephen, she's also nowhere near as organised: if you'd actually been listening, you might have come out more confused than when you went in.
  
  > read the sermons
  No. No no no. Your sanity would never survive.
  
  > search it
  In the brown folder are Uncle Stephen's old sermons.
  
  > go to the east
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  You can see a large matchbox and an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
  
  > open the closet
  You open the closet, revealing a walking stick.
  
  > put the matchbox in the closet
  (first taking the large matchbox)
  
  You put the large matchbox into the closet.
  
  > Close closet
  You close the closet.
  
  > go east
  Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.
  
  Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
  
  > wake stephen
  Uncle Stephen stirs and looks bemusedly at you. "Eh? I'm awake.
  What is it, Hector?"
  
  Uncle Stephen takes a puff on his pipe and notes with some annoyance that it has somehow gone out. He reaches for his trusty matchbox and notes with even more annoyance that it has somehow gone missing. Sighing, he stands up and begins looking around.
  
  > open the drawer
  Uncle Stephen motions you vaguely away from the desk drawer. It's clearly private, and he would appreciate it if you stayed out of it.
  
  > ask Stephen about the matchbox
  "Rather a necessary evil, I would say. Some people still call them lucifers, so it's rather like letting the devil into your own house ... but do you know, the actual lucifers fell out of fashion when I was a boy, after a more reliable sort of match was invented. There's a lesson right there, my boy, if you'll take note of it."
  
  Uncle Stephen shakes his head and wanders out into the Hall.
  
  > open the drawer
  You open the drawer, revealing a letter crammed in among an assortment of other junk.
  
  > examine the letter
  Uncle Stephen is wandering the house and could walk in on you any minute. You don't have time to give this a proper read, though you can see already that it's more interesting than anything this house has to offer.
  
  > close the drawer
  You close the drawer.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a letter
  a brown folder
  Uncle Stephen's old sermons
  
  > put the letter in the folder
  You put the letter into the brown folder.
  
  > put the letter in the folder
  (first taking the letter)
  
  You put the letter into the brown folder.
  
  > eat letter
  (first taking the letter)
  That's plainly inedible.
  
  > Go west
  Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
  
  Uncle Stephen is casting about for his missing matchbox. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
  
  You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
  
  > open the closet
  You open the closet, revealing a large matchbox and a walking stick.
  
  Uncle Stephen catches sight of the matchbox sitting where you'd left it, and happily retrieves it. Thankfully, he doesn't seem too interested in wondering how it got there in the first place.
  
  Uncle Stephen returns to his study.
  
  > read the letter
  Let's see. It's from a Mr John Austin, thanking your Uncle Stephen for something ... boring stuff, boring stuff ... well. It looks as though Uncle Stephen has been sending money regularly to this Mr Austin, but why? You separate the letter out into its three pages, and regard each one individually....
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  three pages of a scandalous letter
  a brown folder
  Uncle Stephen's old sermons
  
  > look at the letter
  Which do you mean, the first page, the second page or the third page?
  
  > First
  Mr John Austin sends his regards ... lovely weather ... good health ... first child ... all very standard fare, nothing you wouldn't expect to find in a hundred other letters....
  
  > examine the second page
  Thanks for the assistance ... goodness, here's an account of all sorts of money that Uncle Stephen has been sending to this Austin fellow over the past year. Mr Austin sounds as though he should have been a bank clerk, but why on earth would Uncle Stephen be sending him money?
  
  > look at the third letter
  Here's where Mr Austin talks about his wife, which sounds terribly boring. But the way this page is creased, it looks as though Uncle Stephen's been reading and re-reading it over and over, for some odd reason.
  
  > go to the west
  The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.
  
  An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.
  
  On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
  
  From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.
  
  Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
  
  > First
  Aunt Emma would never even look at that if you were to present it to her directly. You'll need a more subtle approach.
  
  > All
  Sorry, you can only have one item here. Which exactly?
  
  > put first in the folder
  You put the first page into the brown folder.
  
  > put second in the folder
  You put the second page into the brown folder.
  
  > put third in the folder
  You put the third page into the brown folder.
  
  > show the folder to Emma
  Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. Flipping through the collected sermons, she happens quite by chance upon the first page of that letter to Uncle Stephen. She reads the first few lines, then stops, carefully extracts the offending pages, and hands them to you. "This doesn't belong in here with your uncle's sermons, Hector; it looks like a private letter, probably from a parishioner. I don't know how it got mixed in with the old sermons, but you had better return it to him."
  
  > show the folder to Emma
  Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. Flipping through the collected sermons, she happens quite by chance upon the third page of that letter to Uncle Stephen. She reads the first few lines, then stops, carefully extracts the offending page, and hands it to you. "This doesn't belong in here with your uncle's sermons, Hector; it looks like a private letter, probably from a parishioner. I don't know how it got mixed in with the old sermons, but you had better return it to him."
  
  > show the folder to Emma
  Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. Flipping through the collected sermons, she happens upon the second page of that letter to Uncle Stephen, the one that you'd left in there. She reads the first few lines, stops, then reads it again. Clearly, the information about Uncle Stephen's money management has caught her attention, and she is not at all happy about it. "Excuse me, Hector," she says, "but I really must speak to your uncle about something."
  
  Aunt Emma slips something between the pages of her Bible to mark her place, then takes the folder from you and stalks off. She's left her Bible behind.
  
  > go to the north
  The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.
  
  > Go east
  (first opening the butler's door)
  It seems to be locked.
  
  > Go east
  (first opening the butler's door)
  You unlock the butler's door with the master key.
  
  This is Cookie's domain, the place where all the baking and roasting and cooking gets done. You're generally not allowed in here, although once, ages ago, Uncle Stephen gave you special permission to come in and watch a chimney sweep have a go at the kitchen fireplace.
  
  The main part of the house is back to the southwest, while a very steep and narrow staircase goes up and down. There's also the butler's door into the dining room, the west.
  
  An old photograph is framed over the kitchen fireplace.
  
  > look at the fireplace
  The kitchen fireplace is almost big enough to stand in. It's back-to-back with the fireplace in Uncle Stephen's study, and shares a flue. You remember this from the time Uncle Stephen let you watch the sweep clean out the chimney.
  
  > look at the photo
  A small unit of soldiers poses in front of an elephant. You recognise a much-younger Morris as one of the soldiers; the others are strangers, though one looks vaguely familiar for reasons you can't quite determine.
  
  > examine the flue
  There's the flue, which is shared with Uncle Stephen's study. You remember the sweep saying that this was highly irregular, although maybe he was just miffed that he had one less chimney to clean and be paid for. It's currently closed, since there's no reason to light a fire just yet.
  
  > open
  What do you want to open?
  
  > Flue
  You open the flue.
  
  > listen to the flue
  Through the open flue, you can hear Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma speaking rather animatedly in the study. It's a pity they never raise their voices, but you can make out a few words: "moral obligation" ... "finally understood" ... "Owen" ... Mother's name comes up rather more often than one might expect, which probably means you're going to be in so much trouble when she gets back from Oxford.
  
  > lock the door
  Which do you mean, the butler's door or the kitchen door?
  
  > Butler'S
  First you'll have to close the butler's door.
  
  > close it
  You close the butler's door.
  
  > lock it
  You lock the butler's door.