text: [Themes: modern]
  
  So now you're walking down the road wearing a stupid duck hat as you make your way to your first day of work. You have been walking for almost half an hour and Ducky Park is only a twenty minute drive from your house, so you figure you should be coming up on the place anytime now.
  
  Three and a half hours later you arrive at the front gates of Ducky Park, a giant happy duck staring you down between the ticket booths. You wait in line with the customers an few minutes until the Happy Duck mascot comes up to you and leans in real close.
  
  "Are you the new guy?" He whispers.
  
  "Yes," You reply in a hushed tone.
  
  "Then why the hell are you standing in line?" He asks.
  
  "You have to wait in line to get through the gate." You tell the Happy Duck mascott. You decide that you don't like him.
  
  "You work here, dipshit. You don't wait in line, you just walk through the gate." He says, frustration evident in his tone.
  
  "Hey look, asshole," You say, loud enough for the people around you to take note. "I've been here before. I know the rules."
  
  "Great!" He says with his hands on his hips. "You're gonna be a real joy to work with!"
  
  You're about to point out that if you could just walk through the gate the park wouldn't be able to keep track of who was coming and going, not to mention the money they would lose on ticket sales, when your Unle Jim walks up to you from the gate.
  
  "Ricky?" He says. "Man is that you? I haven't seen you since you were a just a little thing." He put a hand on your shoulder and leads you out of the line towards the gate.
  
  The Happy Duck waves at you. "Take it easy dumb ass!", he calls.
  
  "Right this way." He says to you. "Let me show you the park."
  
  He takes you on a tour of the park, but it's nothing you haven't seen before. You see rides, parlor games, food stands, and restrooms. And then he proposes a very important question to you.
  
  "Where would you like to work in here?" He asks. You stare at him blankly. "Look," he says, "The other kids we hire don't have these kind of options. I'm giving you the choice because you are my nephew. So make a decision.
  
  "We can always use people to work the food stands. You can put on a costume and be one of the Ducky Park mascots, we have some rides you can run; it's just pulling a gear. Or you can clean the walkways of trash with those little sweepers.
  
  "What do you think?"
  
  You're not really sure what to think, and you stand there a while thinking on it. You aren't usually given choices like these. "Hurry up, Ricky, we don't have all day."
  
  Hmm...
  
  > wear a costume.
  "I guess I can be one of the Happy Duck characters," you tell your uncle.
  
  "Great," He says, "Let me take you to the costume closet and see what's there."
  
  You follow your uncle as he leads you past the food stands and the picnic area and into a gift shop. He smiles and waves at the young woman working the register and you follow him into a back room which reads "EMPLOYEES ONLY".
  
  The back room is actually an expansive room full of computers, monitors, and desks. He leads you to into a much smaller room through a door on the far wall. In the room is a bench and a few abnormally large lockers that are wide open. There are only two costumes there, a fish and a dog.
  
  "You're Frank or Dastardly," Your uncle slaps you on the back; "Take your pick and put it on. See you out there, Ricky."
  
  Your uncle leaves you in there while you consider the options before you. The fish is grey with a few shiny silver scales. You conjure memories of Happy Duck's best friend; Frank the Fish.
  
  At least in the mask no one will have to see how hideously ugly I am, you think to yourself.
  
  Happy duck once rescued Frank the Fish from the clutches of a fisherman's hook. Ever since then he has been a close companion to Happy Duck. They stick with each other through thick and thin. Frank has been rescued from the hooks a few times since then by Happy Duck, he just can't resist worms on a hook; and Happy has been rescued by Frank from the jaws of Dastardly Dog. No one's ever been sure about what kind of fish Frank is, but everyone agrees that there are no friends as tried and true as Happy Duck and Frank the Fish.
  
  Dastardly Dog on the other hand... You look into the locker where the brown furry costume hangs and remember Dastardly Dog. He was always an enemy to Happy, always chasing the duck and howling for the man with the gun when Happy tried to fly away. Dastardly one launched a malicious plan to hide beneath the surface of the water in the guise of a lily pad, but was thwarted by Frank the Fish before his master plan could be executed. All in all, he was a very mean dog. Dastard the bastard, your father used to call him and then laugh hysterically before drinking more beer. Your teachers at school didn't think it was so funny when you repeated it.
  
  You pull yourself from your revelry and try to come to a decision. The fish or the dog? Friend or foe? Frank or Dastardly? Which one?
  
  > Frank the Fish
  You pull the giant shiny fish costume on, amazed at how the scales look and feel. It's a rubbery, slimy costume with an odor not unlike that of whatever fish Frank is supposed be.
  
  As you slip the costume on you remember how brave Frank the Fish was on the cartoon; always rescuing his friend Happy from the evil clutches of Dastardly Dog. It would be good to parade around the park as the notoriously trustworthy friend of Happy Duck, you think as you walk out of the costume closet and through the expansive office to the door on the far wall.
  
  You go through the door to the souvenir shop and the wave to the young woman behind the counter. She waves back smiling, but as you pass her she calls something to you that you can't quite hear beneath the costume. You turn around to find out what she wanted.
  
  "I said your zipper is down," She tells you.
  
  You flush with embarrassment and instinctively move your hands to cover your manhood before you realize that she is most likely talking about the costume zipper.
  
  "Here," She says; "Let me help." She walks out from behind the counter and zips your costume up in the back.
  
  "Thanks," You say; "If not for you they would've all known that I wasn't the real Frank the Fish."
  
  She laughs a little at your remark. "You're a brave soul to wear that costume, you know," She says.
  
  "Why's that?" You ask.
  
  "The last three people dressed as Frank the Fish were killed. Some say the costume is cursed." She grins a little in mockery. "If you believe that sort of thing."
  
  You swallow hard and try not to feel intimidated. You're glad the costume hides the look of fear that must be evident on your face. The last three people that wore this have died. The thought terrifies you more than a little.
  
  "It's probably just superstition," You reason aloud to reassure your self as well as to sound braver than you feel.
  
  "I don't know," She argues; "I knew the last guy. He was a real nice kid. A tarantula climbed up inside of there and bit him a half dozen times."
  
  "I'll be fine," You tell her.
  
  "Let's hope," She says; "Good luck out there."
  
  You thank her and exit the gift shop, looking around in search of a destination. Where would it be better for Frank the Fish to hang out and greet Ducky Park patrons, you wonder. Initially you think the Water Zone would be best considering that you are supposed to be a fish and fish should be in the water, but then you start to think about the stage area where all the shows are.
  
  The Water Zone seems the obvious place to find a fish, you think. But the show area is where people expect to find the celebrities.
  
  Realizing that you can't stand there forever, you force yourself to reach a decision. What do you decide on?
  
  > The stage area
  Go where the people expect you, right? You head off for the stage area, figuring that if the day gets too boring walking around in a fish suit and posing for pictures, at least you'll have shows to watch.
  
  The walk isn't terribly long and you reach the expansive lot of pavement surrounded by stages in mere moments. People mill about almost aimlessly, looking at schedules and arriving to or leaving from various stage shows.
  
  Kids and women hug you while adults take your picture hugging the various fish huggers. You feel like a great success.
  
  When your feet start to hurt you sit down on a bench and watch the show on stage where Dastardly Dog kidnaps Haley Duck (Happy Duck's girlfriend). Happy Duck comes out rescues his girlfriend and the crowd applauds enthusiastically.
  
  I don't know what they're clapping for, you think. That was one of the worst stage shows you've ever seen.
  
  You stand up and stretch your legs as the audience stands and leaves the benches empty. An older man claps a hand on your scaled back and you turn around to see him grinning stupidly with his wife and grandkids behind him.
  
  "Why didn't you get up there and help Happy Duck out?" He asks you.
  
  "Because I wasn't supposed to be in the show," You tell him. "I can't just jump on stage in the middle of the show, I'd mess everything up. Geez, what a stupid question."
  
  The old man's smile disappears, as does his family's. They walk off without another word to you, showering you with dirty looks that make you feel guilty as though you said or did something wrong. You try telling yourself that it wasn't your fault that they asked you such a stupid question, but eventually you realize that you overreacted, no matter how stupid the question was.
  
  You look around to see the older couple walking away with their grandkids and you hurry to catch up so that you can apologize when you reach them.
  
  You catch up to them at the Ferris Wheel. "Hey," You say to the old man, trying to get his attention.
  
  "Why don't you just leave us alone?" He says.
  
  "I came over here to apologize. I was out of line back there, and I'm sorry." You say.
  
  The old man seems to consider your apology briefly before nodding and accepting it. "OK," He says. "Apology accepted."
  
  You take a step back prepared to say something clever when you feel something tug at the back of your costume. A moment later you are lifted up into the air and see the distance between you and the ground growing ever farther.
  
  Suddenly you hear the costume begin to rip, a tear goes down the fish outfit and your weight breaks you free from whatever was holding you. As you fall you twist through the air and notice a torn bit of your costume hanging from one of the buckets carrying some Ferris Wheel passengers.
  
  You hit the ground in a symphony of shattering bones. You are alive and in excruciating pain for a while before the pain suddenly ends.
  
  The curse of Frank the Fish claims another victim.