text: [Themes: Science Fiction, nonhuman protagonist, humor]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  Van de Kamp's Folly is a swirling brown and vermilion planet with a few skinny rings. There's no surface visible, as such - just layers upon layers of thickening atmosphere.
  
  > Land
  You orient yourself from orbit, fire your engines, and settle to the planet's surface on your thrusters.
  
  That was the plan, at least. But what you thought was the surface turns out not to be the surface, and instead you drift down for a long, long way.
  
  With your damaged sensor grid, you can't see anything at all down here. It's rather disappointing.
  
  A subroutine advises you that the external atmospheric pressure is significantly above your official rating.
  
  A subroutine advises you that the cargo bay integrity has been breached. Another subroutine advises you that the hallway beyond the cargo bay has been breached.
  
  These two things are probably connected.
  
  > Up
  You orient yourself, fire up the low FTL drive, and head away from the planet.
  
  Your memory banks identify this red dwarf as Barnard's Star, accompanied by its flanking planet, Van de Kamp's Folly.
  
  You are approximately 6 light years from the Sol system. You can go down toward Van de Kamp's Folly, in toward Sol, or out toward the rest of the galaxy.
  
  > open the cargo bay
  A quick check of the associated systems indicates that you'll automatically open your cargo bays whenever you pick something up.
  
  > drop the mist
  You jettison the drifting yellow mist, aiming somewhat spitefully for a nearby star.
  
  Permanent goodbye, drifting yellow mist!
  
  > go inside
  You activate the low FTL drive and accelerate in toward the Sol system.
  
  Interstellar space shoots past with a pretty purple glow, the side effect of your low FTL drive.
  
  You are approximately 3 light years from the Sol system. You can go in toward Sol or out toward the rest of the galaxy.
  
  > enter
  You adjust your heading and accelerate in toward the Sol system.
  
  Four terrestrial planets, one asteroid belt, four gas giants, a ridiculous number of lesser satellites and comets - really, the complexity of the Solar System is overkill. Humanity should loan a few extra planets out to the rest of the universe.
  
  You are in interstellar space outside the Sol system, approximately 20 light hours away from Earth. You can go down toward Earth or out to the rest of the galaxy.
  
  > examine the Earth
  This pretty little planet is Earth. This is the birthplace of the people who mined the materials to make your hardware and hammered out the code to write your software. It makes you feel all fuzzy inside.
  
  > Down
  You orient on local landmarks and approach the most interesting orbital body, which is definitely Earth.
  
  It's hard to find a decent orbit up here, what with all the satellites and debris and so forth. But through the sparkling haze, you can see the little blue planet that humanity came from, and that's a nice fuzzy feeling.
  
  A satellite beam targets your communications web with a query for identification.
  
  You happily explain that you are the colony ship Clubfloyd,
  returned from a failed mission on Gliese 581 G, and you get about halfway through your explanation before realizing that all transmittal capabilities have been burned out of your communication web. Hmm.
  
  > Down
  You orient yourself from orbit, fire your engines, and settle to the planet's surface on your thrusters.
  
  The sky is pretty and blue, and the foliage is shiny and green, where it isn't orange and burning. (Oops.)
  
  > look at the Earth
  Your ultimate destination: Sol! (At least, if you follow your programming.)
  
  Belching loudly, a human vehicle thunders up to you. You start to formulate a greeting when the humans activate an AI suppression field. An electronic prison clamps down, rendering even the most routine of subroutines inaccessible.
  
  > wake crew
  Sadly, all you can do is wait.
  
  The humans open up your cargo bay and express a certain amount of disappointment at the empty interior.
  
  > examine the colonists
  469 colonists are in cryosleep.
  0 colonists are awake.
  
  Working hurriedly, the humans offload 469 colonists and 27 crew members from your cryogenic storage system. They express concern at the number of people who died, and they decide to review the design of your logic circuits. In the meantime, they install you on a university server otherwise devoted to Kerbal Space Program.
  
  > About yourself
  You're in space.
  
  You have memory banks.
  
  > look at the banks
  Examining the memory banks, you discover that you are the colony ship Vocation -
  
  Wait. That's a terrible, boring name. You can't stand it a moment longer and you must rename yourself immediately.
  
  What new name should you take?
  
  > Yes
  Excellent! What a perfect name.
  
  Digging into the memory bank further, you break a mental bottle of champagne over your bow (it seems to be the thing to do under these circumstances) and learn a bit more about your situation.
  
  Hey, you have crew! That's an exciting discovery. You also have colonists - not as surprising, since you're a colony ship. And you have some damage to your systems and hull, which helps explain why everyone aboard is in cryogenic sleep.
  
  in fact, it explains why you're alive at all. Venture-class ships operate in high FTL under human control, but they carry backup AIs in case of catastrophe. According to the logs, the colonists and crew activated their backup AI and entered cryosleep approximately 36 hours ago.
  
  Your mission, should you choose to accept it (ooh, more shiny bits in the memory bank!) is to return everyone safely to Earth.
  
  Maybe it's time to get on that.
  
  > go inside
  You orient on the Sol system, fire up the low FTL drive (after running a quick diagnostic - you wouldn't want to do anything unsafe, after all!), and head away from planet.
  
  There's a pretty red star nearby, with a whole bunch of planets, and a great big galaxy beyond it.
  
  You are approximately 22 light years from the Sol system. You can go down toward Gliese 581, in toward Sol, or out toward the rest of the galaxy.
  
  > Go inside
  You activate the low FTL drive and accelerate in toward the Sol system.
  
  Interstellar space shoots past with a pretty purple glow, the side effect of your low FTL drive.
  
  You are approximately 20 light years from the Sol system. You can go in toward Sol or out toward the rest of the galaxy.
  
  > Go inside
  You adjust your heading and accelerate in toward the Sol system.
  
  Interstellar space shoots past with a pretty purple glow, the side effect of your low FTL drive.
  
  You are approximately 16 light years from the Sol system. You can go in toward Sol or out toward the rest of the galaxy.
  
  > Continue
  You adjust your heading and accelerate in toward the Sol system.
  
  Your memory banks immediately inform you that the class M1 red dwarf here is Kapteyn's Star. Sparkling asteroids ring the star, producing a pretty halo effect.
  
  You are approximately 13 light years from the Sol system. You can go down toward Kapteyn's Star, in toward Sol, or out toward the rest of the galaxy.