text: > Describe the surroundings
  This is the front hall; a door north leads outside, and the living room is to the south.
  
  A devil, looking for all the world like a cross between the BSD Unix devil and Bill Gates, slouches insolently in the corner.
  
  Through the open doorway, you can see a swirling violet mist, rather unlike the busy, dirty, and noisy street onto which it used to open.
  
  > look at the mist
  This is probably what Hendrix was thinking of when he wrote his song. It is disturbingly opaque, and swirls around in an unsettling and faintly nauseating manner.
  
  > ask devil about the mist
  "NAK! NAK! Re-transmit! <snort>"
  
  > open door
  That's already open.
  
  > get the mist
  That's hardly portable.
  
  > Smell mist
  Cardamom. Or is it coriander?
  
  > go north
  As you step into the mist, everything becomes indistinct and hazy; you spin, receding ever-farther from consciousness. Everything goes black...
  
  Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
  
  > examine Scrappelizer
  The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine. You dumped pigs--or whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
  
  > examine the bulb
  The bare light bulb, favored by tinpot dictators and goonish interrogators everywhere.
  
  > enter hole
  Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
  
  You can also see the Kunkel here.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > look at kunkel
  The Kunkel is small and troll-like. It squats before its computer, twitching occasionally as the virtual reality mittens on its hands control some action in the game going on in the VR goggles plugged into its computer.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > examine computer
  This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
  The computer is currently switched on.
  
  > open the drive
  You open the CD-ROM drive. The Kunkel's game must have come to a screeching halt, because it stops twitching, swears, and thumbs the drive door shut before you can react.
  
  > get the goggles
  As you approach, you see that the Kunkel's face has actually grown into the goggles. Revolted, you retreat.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > turn off computer
  By doing so, you are striking at the very reason for the Kunkel's existence. It is not pleased.
  
  "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
  
  Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces.
  
  > Go south
  Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
  
  > give the CD to kunkel
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  > go south
  You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory. Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products.
  
  Great Scott! What can only be the rucksack of the Meldrews, fabled in song and story, lies here at the bottom of the rendering vat.
  
  > take the rucksack
  You're carrying too many things already.
  
  > examine it
  Actually, it's very tatty and greasy, saturated with long-rancid lard, stained with blood (or worse), and beginning to give at the seams. It is open and contains a tourist map of Paris and the Rod of Returning.
  
  > put the toy in the box
  Which do you mean, the Chinese food or the red cardboard box?
  
  > Red
  You put the toy into the red cardboard box.
  
  > examine the map
  An exorbitantly expensive map of Paris circa 1993.
  
  > examine Rod
  One of the last remaining bits of Druidical Magic.
  
  > Go north
  Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
  
  > go north
  Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
  
  You can also see the Kunkel here.
  
  > hold Rod
  (putting the juice glass into the rucksack to make room)
  
  With a 'pop' and a whiff of ozone, the devil appears. "Look, I <snort> shouldn't be doing this, but if you're one of the last three people in <snort> the world who hasn't played Curses then maybe you need some instructions. To charge the rod, 'strike rod.' To use it 'point rod at <target>.' Got it?"
  
  There is another 'pop' and the devil is gone.
  
  Taken.
  
  > Strike rod
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  
  > Point rod at pc
  A flash of white light engulfs the computer, but nothing else happens.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > examine the goggles
  It's hard to see the goggles clearly, since they're on the Kunkel's face, and consequently twitching and swerving around.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > point it at the goggles
  You look ridiculous pointing the VR goggles at the VR goggles.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  the Rod of Returning
  a rucksack (which is open)
  a juice glass
  a tourist map of Paris
  "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition"
  a variegated mimesis plant
  some Chinese food
  a red cardboard box (which is open)
  a toy
  
  > point it at yourself
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  A flash of white light engulfs you, but nothing else happens.
  
  > Strike rod
  The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > point Rod at kunkel
  A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > point it at Rod
  The rod is already charged.
  A flash of white light engulfs the Rod of Returning, but nothing else happens.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > eat rod
  That's plainly inedible.
  
  > examine the map
  An exorbitantly expensive map of Paris circa 1993.
  
  > give the toy to kunkel
  (first taking the toy)
  (putting the red cardboard box into the rucksack to make room)
  The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to notice you.
  
  The kunkel yelps.