text: [Themes: Slice of life, coming of age, mild profanity, teenage protagonist, male protagonist]
  
  > Go downwards
  Door's locked, and you can hear shouts and ball-echoes within.
  
  > look at the plaques
  You wonder if this school will turn you into the kind of entity that gives a rat's ass about such things.
  
  > Go north
  This is the front door of the school, but other than the name carved above the southbound archway and the signage warning people to report to the office, there's not a lot of ceremony here. Pretty plain for a school as pompous as Pope.
  
  Despite the plainness, there's a boy here drawing the entryway in a large sketchbook. He spares you a brief glance.
  
  > ask the boy about the tickets
  He gives you a glance, slightly longer than average, then goes back to sketching. Just when you think he's ignored you completely, he says, "Why ask me?"
  
  Going along with the cloak-and-dagger routine, you stare off into space a second yourself. Then, not looking at him, you say "They're sold out. A friend told me you might be able to hook me up."
  
  Terry nods. "Ten bucks."
  
  "I only got eight," you say, "C'mon."
  
  Terry shakes his head. "Niners," he says with disgust. "I need some of those office slips for uniform violations. Get me some of those and you can have it for eight."
  
  Terry goes back to his sketch.
  
  > Go south
  The office is quiet and orderly, with a large counter separating the office proper from the visitors. Two doors against the far wall are, according to the signs, the lairs of Brother Matthews and Mr. Pannus, and sandwiched between them is a massive painting of Pope Innocent III.
  
  On the counter are some slips.
  
  Although she's keying information into the computer, the secretary's huge glasses make it impossible to tell if she's looking at you.
  
  > examine secretary
  The secretary has the grey bun and the grandmotherly stylings that are guaranteed to negate even the most determined teenage lust. You wonder if it's deliberate, because she seems younger, handling her computer without the tutting and fretting of the aged.
  
  > ask the secretary about the jesus
  The office is quiet and orderly, with a large counter separating the office proper from the visitors. Two doors against the far wall are, according to the signs, the lairs of Brother Matthews and Mr. Pannus, and sandwiched between them is a massive painting of Pope Innocent III.
  
  On the counter are some slips.
  
  Although she's keying information into the computer, the secretary's huge glasses make it impossible to tell if she's looking at you.
  
  "Wouldn't know, dear," she says distractedly. "Shouldn't you be in class?"
  
  > examine the painting
  This is a very strange cartoonish depiction of Pope Innocent III. The colours are really bright, and his slightly cross-eyed gaze is almost goofy and not at all that of a MILITANT PASTOR AND GREAT MONARCH, which the plaque screwed into the frame insists he is.
  
  > ask the secretary about the painting
  She tilts her glasses and her eyes meet yours for the first time. "That's Pope Innocent the Third," she says, turning around in her seat to look at him. "He was a great man."
  
  > get the slips
  You stealthily slide the slips off the counter. Taken.
  
  "He took the bull by the horns," the secretary continues, her back to you. "He didn't take any nonsense from the heretics, he launched a Crusade when they got uppity! He did God's work. A great man."
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  She seems lost in reverie, staring at the painting as if she remembered him personally.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  She swivels around and looks at you. "Oh, well, you're new here aren't you? So you haven't even seen the wonderful statue of him that stands beside the sign in front of the school." Her face darkens and she returns to the computer, tapping the keys a little harder than she needs to. "We had to clean it after someone --" She looks at you sharply, and you get the smirk off your face just in time. She seems to notice your mohawk for the first time. "Well, never mind. They'll be lowering it onto the pedestal tomorrow morning." She shakes her head, pointing back at Innocent. "He wouldn't put up with that kind of monkey business, I tell you that."
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  some slips
  some Doc Martens boots (being worn)
  a zine
  some cash
  your middle finger
  a blazer (being worn)
  a tie (being worn)
  
  > give the slips to Terry
  Terry takes the money and slips and pockets them. Then, from his sketchbook, he places an original ticket beside a blank piece of cardboard. With a thin line marker, he draws in the dancing leafs, the bubble style lettering that says FALL DANCE!, and all the small details the original incorporated to make it counterfeit proof. When he's done, he looks over his handiwork and then hands it to you.
  
  He turns his attention to the slips next, removing another original from the back of his sketchbook. He forges the signature on one of them, then checks the "slacks" infraction. He hands it to you. "This is for Stuart."
  
  > Thanks
  To talk to people, ASK ____ ABOUT ____.
  
  > go east
  You can see Old Pudge here.
  
  > Go south
  There's a bunch of jocks throwing around a melon shaped ball and running around in a very intense fashion.
  
  > Go east
  The Path, the thin sidewalk that links the school grounds to the real world, is neither on or off school property. It's no-man's-land, and all suspect activity takes place here. Like most legendary spots, it's rather unimpressive in actuality -- it's a butt-littered sidewalk that heads west to the school and east to freedom.
  
  You can see Stuart here.
  
  Stuart rants about Pannus.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a signed slip
  a dance ticket
  some Doc Martens boots (being worn)
  a zine
  your middle finger
  a blazer (being worn)
  a tie (being worn)
  
  > give the slip to Stu
  You casually hand it over to Stu, who glances at you suspiciously... and then breaks out in a huge grin. "So you've met Terry, eh?" he says, smiling.
  
  "Yeah," you say casually, "Got him to do me up one of these."
  
  You flash Stu the counterfeit ticket, and he starts to laugh. "Yeah, it's gonna suck, they always do..." the skinhead says, exhaling smoke in a world-weary way. "But it's pretty much the only thing goin'. Few chicks at least."
  
  You nod and shrug.
  
  "Yeah, we're meeting up here later tonight. You should come. Should be able to score some booze, take a little bit of the lameness out of the evening's festivities."
  
  Mophead comes up from the school for a smoke and thumbs at you. "Shudda SEEN this guy, Stu-Fart, he fuckin' gave Penis the FINGER."
  
  "The FINGER! PENIS!" Mophead goes to high-five you and you let him. "Ah man, that was awesome!"
  
  You shrug, lean against the fence and try not to grin too broadly as your exploits are recounted blow by blow.
  
  > take the bottle
  Taken.
  
  > drink it
  You take a small mouthful, swallow it quickly. You pinch your nose and squeeze your eyes shut for a second, then pass on the bottle to Dave.
  
  "So I was like, 'Jackson -- just go in and get it,'" Stuart says. "You dress like someone's dad, they'll never ask you for ID.' But he wouldn't, so we had to wait for some rocker to come along who'd buy for us."
  
  Dave takes two swigs and hands it to Jackson, who hands it to Stuart. "Even Hardcore here is drinking, guy," Stu says with a smirk, handing the bottle to you. You swig and pass it on.
  
  "You remember what happened the last time," Jackson says. "I want to actually get into the dance this time. Pannus has still got me in detention from last year!"
  
  "Well, I mean, you puked in front of him," Dave says with a rare smile. "We're lucky we went in before you."
  
  Stuart is snickering. "You were so fucked that night. The only thing that sucked about it was that you had a chance to puke on Penis and you puked on your own shoes. That's a shame."
  
  "Well," Jackson says, "They're obviously going to be watching me tonight, and I want to get into the dance."
  
  "So you can show off all your skanking skills when they play One Step Beyond?" says Stuart, getting to his feet and mock-dancing.
  
  Jackson laughs, watching Stuart's scowling dance moves.
  
  "Ah, it's going to suck anyway. They always do," says Dave, passing the bottle to Stuart. "The last time we missed the only Cult song they played."
  
  "That's why we should have got the stuff faster," says Stuart over the bottle. "We would have gotten in with the first rush of people and no one would notice we were drunk."
  
  "Yeah, it's not like we stick out or anything," Jackson says dryly. "Besides, who was the one who was a half-hour late getting to my place tonight?"
  
  You take another swig. It's not getting any less vile, but it's almost finished.
  
  "How hard is it to go into a store and buy something?" says Stuart.
  
  "You're almost a year older than me. You're sixteen," Jackson says.
  
  You're a bit nervous with the mention of age, since you're thirteen.
  
  Rolling his eyes, Stuart takes the bottle from Dave and finishes it off. "It doesn't have anything to do with that. With my innocent young face, I couldn't buy milk past the due date."
  
  "OK, let's go," Jackson says, getting to his feet and pulling out some gum. He hands everyone one piece, which you start to chew. Blueberry.
  
  As you get up, you notice a little dizziness. Everyone heads west, taking careful steps, and as you pass the portables Stuart whips the empty bottle into the night and cocks an ear.
  
  When there's no smash he frowns. "Damn. Missed the sign.".
  
  You enter the school and walk through the caf. The sudden bright lights intensify your dizziness into a nausea.
  
  The ticket table is set up just outside the gym door, beside the stairwell. The sudden stop in front of it brings up bile. The senior, who's taken Jackson's ticket and let him go, looks at you guardedly. Then he tells you to wait.
  
  A moment later, Mr. Collins, the gym teacher appears. He's got a hockey stick over his shoulder and a smarmy grin on his face.
  
  "What have you boys been up to tonight," he says, tapping at your mohawk with the flat of his stick. "Other than hairdressing?"
  
  The know-it-all attitude sets off an explosion of rage -- and, unfortunately, also detonates an acid ball in your stomach. You're going to be sick.
  
  While you know that the cafeteria is its same old dingy self, your brain is telling you that it's spinning and painfully bright.
  
  Mr. Collins, the obnoxious overgrown jock of a gym teacher, stands beside two of his apes behind the ticket table set up for the dance. He's grinning in a nauseatingly infuriating way. God, you feel ill.
  
  > sit
  (on top of the Mr. Collins)
  That's not something you can sit down on.
  
  You vomit all over the floor. "Waste of a good puke..." murmurs Stu.
  
  Collins's smirk twitches with disgust, but before he can get his condescending hands on you, you flip the ticket table over.
  
  The cash box makes a terribly satisfying clatter.
  
  The next couple of minutes are a bit of a blur -- making a break; seeing Stu and Dave's escaping backs as you lean over to excise the last bit of liquid from your stomach lining; being carried back to the school by two big lugs who you flail alternately with screams about your inalienable rights as an individual and kicks to their groins; a second break, which similarly ends with you passed out in the field; and finally, incarceration in...
  
  Science Classroom (on the worktable)
  
  This is a room full of massive black worktables, each of them with their own sinks. An even larger demonstration table squats at the front of the room. It's weird to see the moon shining through the window you're so accustomed to staring out of during the day. There's an exit to the south.
  
  You can see a chart of the table of elements here.
  
  You wake groggily -- sober enough to be conscious, and still drunk enough to want to fuck shit up.
  
  > Puke on Collins
  You slap your hands on the ticket table and vomit all over Collins and his thugs. It feels you're breathing liquid fire on them, although it looks more like the pasta you had for dinner. "Yes!" Stuart hoots, pumping his fist.
  
  [You get five punk points for that.]
  
  Collins' smirk twitches with disgust, but before he can get his condescending hands on you, you flip the ticket table over.
  
  The cash box makes a terribly satisfying clatter.
  
  The next couple of minutes are a bit of a blur -- making a break; seeing Stu and Dave's escaping backs as you lean over to excise the last bit of liquid from your stomach lining; being carried back to the school by two big lugs who you flail alternately with screams about your inalienable rights as an individual and kicks to their groins; a second break, which similarly ends with you passed out in the field; and finally, incarceration in...
  
  Science Classroom (on the worktable)
  
  This is a room full of massive black worktables, each of them with their own sinks. An even larger demonstration table squats at the front of the room. It's weird to see the moon shining through the window you're so accustomed to staring out of during the day. There's an exit to the south.
  
  You can see a chart of the table of elements here.
  
  You wake groggily -- sober enough to be conscious, and still drunk enough to want to fuck shit up.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a dance ticket
  some Doc Martens boots (being worn)
  a zine
  your middle finger
  
  > read about the Science in Zine
  "We discovered that several schools have removed this lesson from the curriculum. Since we at Virus have found it useful, we've decided to return it." Beneath it reads...
  
  "EXPERIMENT 4
  Synthesis of an Explosive: N13*NH3
  
  Many explosive molecules have nitrogen as one of the elemental components. Nitrogen single bonds to most atoms are quite weak, while the nitrogen - nitrogen triple bond is exceptionally stable (NH3 is an exception, in that its N-H single bonds are fairly stable). Energy liberated by the breaking of single nitrogen bonds can be substantial.
  
  Nitrogen - halogen single bonds are particularly reactive due to repulsion between the nitrogen and halide lone pairs. In this experiment you will make ammonium triiodide NI3, isolated as an ammoniate coordination complex. This compound, when dry, is a detonating explosive that is shock-sensitive. It can be handled when wet, but will explode unpredictably when dry.
  
  Basic glassware including 10-mL beaker, 2-mL pipette, glass rod are required for this experiment.
  
  The product of this experiment is a shock-sensitive explosive when dry. The small amount prepared according to the procedure below is not dangerous, but larger amounts are serious explosion risks. Never scale up this procedure!"
  
  (At this point, the editors of Virus have handwritten: HA HA!)
  
  Weigh 100mg (0.100 g) of iodine into a 10-mL beaker. Slowly add 2.0 mL of concentrated ammonium hydroxide solution. Stir the mixture for 5 minutes -- a red precipitate should form. Transfer the moist precipitate onto several layers of filter paper placed on the floor of the fumehood, away from any breakable objects. Spread out the solid and permit it to dry for one hour.
  
  While you are waiting, answer the questions provided in the laboratory. These are to be handed in before you leave the laboratory."
  
  (At this point, the editors have handwritten: SURE TEACH, RIGHT AFTER I FINISH BLOWING UP THE SCHOOL!)
  
  "When the sample has dried, carefully tap it with the end of a yardstick, keeping as far away as possible. No other characterization is required, or advisable."
  
  > Examine worktable
  Sturdy and soaked with chemicals.
  
  > look
  Science Classroom (on the worktable)
  
  This is a room full of massive black worktables, each of them with their own sinks. An even larger demonstration table squats at the front of the room. It's weird to see the moon shining through the window you're so accustomed to staring out of during the day. There's an exit to the south.
  
  You can see a chart of the table of elements here.
  
  > examine the chart
  The building blocks of the universe are depicted in a neat series of boxes, with no indication of their legacy of poisonous mushroom clouds. You hope they're not on the exam.
  
  There's a finger-sized ring at the bottom.
  
  > pull the ring
  The chart snaps up out of reach and reveals a glass-fronted cupboard.
  
  > examine the cupboard
  This cupboard contains the science class supplies -- the left compartment has all the glassware and the right compartment has all the chemicals.
  
  > examine the right compartment
  An astonishing array of alphabetically arranged chemicals and solutions.