text: > look at your surroundings
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
  
  Norbert searches the table carefully but finds nothing.
  
  > examine table
  There's no food served here so the tables are just for holding drinks.
  
  Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
  
  > look under the jukebox
  (searching the jukebox)
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  > Go west
  Among others you recognize Missy Maestro, Doc Stockholm, Hetty R, Slick Joe Mittens, and of course Gus, the current champion.
  
  The first portrait seems to be missing.
  
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
  
  > Corner
  Which do you mean, the VIP lounge, the Artist hangout, the Arcade corner, or the Dark corner?
  
  > Dark corner
  Dark corner (SE corner)
  The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.
  
  Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
  
  > talk to Joe
  "What kind of things should I be looking for?"
  
  "Nothing hurts more than the truth. Find out some facts about Gus's life and craft your insults based on them."
  
  > show the sweater to Joe
  It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.
  
  "Can you read what it says in the tag?" you ask Joe Mahma. "This is a problem you have to solve by yourself," he zens.
  
  > talk to guy
  (the Sleaze)
  "Did you know I make sixty... seventy... a HUNDRED grand a year? Yeah, I'm the number one salesman at the leading automobile sales establishment in the country. In fact, I'm here RIGHT NOW to give you the ride of your life, baby!"
  
  You hold back a gag reflex.
  
  > talk to the guy
  (the Sleaze)
  "Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
  
  > point at the vodka
  You point at the vodka in the menu. "Bartender! One vodka!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the vodka on the counter.
  
  > examine the vodka
  Vodka is almost pure alcolhol. The best way to get drunk quickly.
  
  > kiss him
  You. Would. Rather. Die.
  
  > Go east
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  > Go west
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  On the counter is a glass of vodka.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  Entering the bar you see the Sleaze looking around him, taking something from his jacket pocket and dropping it into the vodka when he thinks no-one is looking. The drink sizzles for a short while and turns back to normal again.
  
  > give the vodka to guard
  He gives the drink a longing look, smacking his dry lips. "Thank you, ma'am, but I have to stay alert," he says.
  
  > Point at cola
  You point at the cola in the menu. "Bartender! One cola!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the cola on the counter.
  
  > Go west
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  On the counter is a glass of cola.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  Entering the bar you see the Sleaze looking around him, taking something from his jacket pocket and dropping it into the cola when he thinks no-one is looking. The drink sizzles for a short while and turns back to normal again.
  
  "I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
  
  > take cola
  Taken.
  
  > Vip
  VIP lounge (NW corner)
  The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.
  
  A guard is making sure no-one without a pass gets in.
  
  Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
  
  > give the cola to guard
  "Thank you, ma'am! I appreciate this," the guard says and takes the glass. He empties it in a single draw.
  
  "This is... strange..." he says, and falls straight on a couch. You're worried for a moment that he might be more than just asleep, but you can see him breathing peacefully in his slumber.
  
  > talk to Britney
  "Hello, Britney."
  
  "Hel-lo, Jen," she says without bothering to look at you.
  
  > Keep going
  "How did you get into the VIP lounge?"
  
  "That's like the most stupidest question e-ver," she says with her annoying nasal voice. "I'm like the main star's gee ef, and you very well know it."
  
  > talk to Britney
  "Wanna talk about Gus?"
  
  "Like, why should I want to?" she gushes. "Gus get's like really pissed off if I accidentally go telling something I shouldn't. I usually don't, not unless I'm like totally wasted, but still."
  
  > check your inventory
  You're carrying a glass of spiced vodka, a sweater, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
  
  > point at the vodka
  You point at the spiced vodka. Nothing happens.
  
  "I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
  
  > Go east
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  > drop the vodka
  It's better not to leave the drugged drink anywhere. Someone might accidentally take it and you don't want to be responsible for that.
  
  > put vodka in the plant
  (first taking the plant)
  That's fixed in place.
  
  > drink vodka
  No way! You'd probably be knocked out cold!
  
  > Bar
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  > give the vodka to the bartender
  The barkeep takes the drink and throws it away.
  
  > point at the vodka
  You point at the vodka in the menu. "Bartender! One vodka!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the vodka on the counter.
  
  > Vip
  VIP lounge (NW corner)
  The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.
  
  The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.
  
  Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
  
  > give drink to Britney
  "I only take drinks from my friends," Britney sneers. "Gus says it's dangerous to accept drinks from strangers."
  
  At the last moment you decide not to do that.
  
  > drop the drink
  You put the vodka on the table.
  
  > Vip
  VIP lounge (NW corner)
  The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.
  
  The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.
  
  Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
  
  Someone has already snatched the drink you left here.
  
  > talk to Britney
  "C'mon, Britney. Let's talk about Gus, only for a little while. I'm... uh, really curious about him."
  
  "No way! I only talk about my boyfriend with my friends. And we're not friends, Jen."
  
  > look under the sofa
  (searching the sofas)
  Among other assorted crap fallen from people's pockets like candy wrappers and used paper tissues you find a VIP pass.
  
  > look at the pass
  The pass allows for the person holding it to enter the VIP lounge. Not that it's that useful now when the lounge guard is out of the picture.
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a VIP pass, a sweater, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
  
  > give the pass to Sleaze
  "Care for a pass for the VIP lounge?" you ask and wave the pass in front of the Sleaze. "Would I!" he says delighted. "The rich and the idle are just waiting for a knight in white armor to come save them from boredom," he says, grabs the pass and heads to the lounge.
  
  > go north
  VIP lounge (NW corner)
  The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.
  
  The Sleaze sits on the couch with Britney who is doing her best to ignore him.
  
  The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.
  
  > talk to Britney
  "C'mon, Britney. Let's talk about Gus, only for a little while. I'm... uh, really curious about him."
  
  "No way! I only talk about my boyfriend with my friends. And we're not friends, Jen."
  
  "Hey there, sister. You look like you would need a man in your life," the Sleaze suggests to Britney. "Get lost creep," Britney says.
  
  > talk to Britney
  "C'mon, Britney. Let's talk about Gus, only for a little while. I'm... uh, really curious about him."
  
  "No way! I only talk about my boyfriend with my friends. And we're not friends, Jen."
  
  > examine Sleaze
  The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
  
  He's currently working hard to have Britney notice himself.
  
  "Nice outfit," the Sleaze says to Britney. "It'll look good on my bedroom floor." She tries to tug her skirt hem lower with little success.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes.
  
  > Hall of Fame
  Hall of Fame (eastern side)
  Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.
  
  Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.
  
  An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
  
  > talk to Gus
  "Beat it, kid. We don't have anything to talk about."
  
  > look at Gus
  Gus, the insult battle champion. He's not that tough. You could beat him, if you were a little bit more well prepared...
  
  > Bar
  One of Gus's goons sees you leave and points at you. Gus turns around and sees you with his sweater. "Hey, whatcha think you're doing? That's my shirt, come back with it!" he shouts.
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a sweater, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
  
  > Wear sweater
  You put on the sweater.
  
  > Bar
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  > search guard
  In the guard's pocket you find a taser.
  
  > look at the taser
  The hand-held stunning device looks impressive.
  
  The Sleaze tries to wrap his arm around Britney but she slaps his hand away.
  
  > tase Sleaze
  (with the taser)
  You pull the taser from your pocket. "Well hello, beautiful," the Sleaze says and turns to you. "I was just talking with your friend here. I was thnking all three of us could go to my place and" *kZap* "OH my dear GOD WHAT the" *kZap* "that really HURTS" *kZap* "no NOT THERE PLEASE" *kZap* *kZap*
  
  The Sleaze staggers away, smoke rising from his head. His limbs twitch as he stumbles back to the bar.
  
  "Oh wow, Jen. That's really sweet of you!" Britney stands up and gives you an awkward hug. "I think we could be like really good friends, Jen!"
  
  > talk to Britney
  "So, now that we're friends, how about we talk about, say, Gus?"
  
  "I don't know, Jen. Can't we talk about something more important, like makeup or something?"
  
  > Continue
  "No, really, let's talk about Gus. What's his mother like?"
  
  "Yeah, uh... Well, I shouldn't really like talk about that. Gus has said that it might hurt him, somehow. I dunno."
  
  > Bar
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  > give the vodka to Britney
  "I can't like drink any booze, Jen! Gus says I tend to blurt out stuff I shouldn't say when I'm drunk," Britney says.
  
  > go to the south
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  > Point at coke
  You point at the cola in the menu. "Bartender! One cola!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the cola on the counter.
  
  > take the coke
  Taken.
  
  "I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
  
  > pour the vodka into the coke
  You pour the vodka into the cola and create black vodka cola.
  
  > give cola to Britney
  "Thanks Jen! It's, like, cola? Right?"
  
  "Uh, yeah. It's like cola," you say.
  
  "Ok, great!" She takes a gulp of the drink. "You know, Jen, we're like, we're like, we're like the BESTESTEST frriends EVER!" she stammers. Worst. Alcohol tolerance. Ever.
  
  > talk to Britney
  "Oh, hi Jen! We're just the bestest bee ef efs, aren't we?" She speaks fast and short segments, like a machine gun firing bursts of stupid. "I should like totally do your hair sometime, do you know this totally awesome conditioner..."
  
  "...and then I was totally like, 'Like, are you like totally...'"
  
  "...then we went for a burger and I said like, 'You know like how many calories those things have like?'..."
  
  "...and we went to the aquarium, and Gus's mom just had to drag along..."
  
  What? You snap out of the torpor your brain had induced to prevent any permanent damage. "What's that about Gus's momma?"
  
  "Yeah, it was kinda drag but kinda funny too when she accidentally slipped into the dolphin pool. But scary too. Anyway, I had this totally cool sweater on I bought the other day and..."
  
  That's it! That would like totally work! Er... gah, must get out of here before your wits are completely corrupted.
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a taser and a handful of coins, and wearing a sweater, your street clothes, and a track jacket.
  
  > Floor
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  > look at the rose
  The compass rose painted on the ceiling makes it easy to know your bearings. You are now at the center of the club.
  
  > examine the gum
  The gum is moist and sticky.
  
  > take the sweater
  You already have that.
  
  > look under the plant
  (searching the plant)
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  > look under the machines
  (searching the arcade machines)
  There's nothing to find from the machines.
  
  > Tase vincent
  (with the taser)
  Vincent doesn't deserve zapping.
  
  > Go east
  Entrance (southern side)
  This is where you enter and leave the club.
  
  A bouncer is standing next to the door with his arms crossed.
  
  You spot a thermostat mounted on the wall next to the doors.
  
  > Tase bouncer
  (with the taser)
  The bouncer doesn't deserve zapping.
  
  > tase yourself
  (with the taser)
  The situation is not that dire yet.
  
  > Go east
  Dark corner (SE corner)
  The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.
  
  Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
  
  > look under the table
  (searching the corner table)
  There is nothing on the corner table.
  
  > talk to Joe
  "Will you teach me the crane kick now?"
  
  "Don't be daft, girl."
  
  > Hall of Fame
  Hall of Fame (eastern side)
  Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.
  
  Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.
  
  Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.
  
  An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
  
  Norbert goes west.
  
  > look under the jukebox
  (searching the jukebox)
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  > Search
  What do you want to search?
  
  > Norbert
  Dance floor (center of the club)
  This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.
  
  To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
  
  Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
  
  > talk to Norbert
  "Where do you think the lens went?"
  
  "Oh, it could be anywhere! Most likely it rolled under something."
  
  Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
  
  > look under the stage
  (searching the stage)
  You find nothing of interest.
  
  > look under the chalkboard
  (searching the drinks menu)
  The drinks menu is out of reach.
  
  The Sleaze dry-humps a bar stool.
  
  > look under the loudspeaker
  (searching the speaker)
  Under the speaker near the wall you spot a bulging glass object. It can't be anything else than the lens from Norbert's glasses!
  
  > Hangout
  Artist hangout (NE corner)
  The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.
  
  A thick lens lies under the loudspeaker, just out of reach.
  
  Gus stands here chatting with his posse.
  
  A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.
  
  > Press techno
  You push the "techno" button and a steady stream of low thump-thump-thump beats fill the air. The "rap" button pops back up.
  
  > Hangout
  Artist hangout (NE corner)
  The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.
  
  A thick lens lies under the loudspeaker, just out of reach.
  
  Gus stands here chatting with his posse.
  
  A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.
  
  The loud bass tones make the lens under the speaker bounce up and down. At the same time it moves gradually more and more away from the wall until it's to your reach.
  
  > take the lens
  You reach under the speaker and grab the lens.
  
  > look through the lens
  The world looks distorted through the lens. And huge.
  
  > look at tag through the lens
  Through the lens the text on the tag would be large enough to read, but it's too dark here to make out the letters.
  
  Norbert searches the table carefully but finds nothing.
  
  > give the lens to Norbert
  That's a nice thing to do, but the lens could be useful yet.
  
  Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
  
  > Vip
  VIP lounge (NW corner)
  The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.
  
  The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.
  
  Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
  
  > tase Sleaze
  (with the taser)
  You take the taser and thrust it in the Sleaze's ribs. "YeeOW! That's way too kinky for my tastes!"
  
  > Drink coke
  You can't drink it.
  
  "I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a lens, a taser, and a handful of coins, and wearing a sweater, your street clothes, and a track jacket.
  
  The Sleaze licks a toothpick from his martini slowly from end to end, all the while looking you straight in the eyes.
  
  > Xyzzy
  "Yo momma's so ugly, xyzzy..." No, that's not gonna work.
  
  > talk to Sleaze
  "Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
  
  > get the picture
  Which do you mean, the Missy Maestro portrait, the Gus portrait, the Doc Stockholm portrait, the Hetty R portrait, the Slick Joe Mittens portrait, or the missing portrait?
  
  > Gus
  The Gus portrait is out of reach.
  
  > get missy
  The Missy Maestro portrait is out of reach.
  
  > examine missing
  The first portrait is missing. It used to be the picture of Joe Mahma. The empty frame is a memorial of his defamation.
  
  > examine the hetty r.
  In the picture there's a thin older woman with a scarf around her head. "Hetty had time for the art even with three kids to feed. Just like Yo Momma who has three chins to feed."
  
  > look at missy Maestro
  The portrait is of a serious-looking girl with a collar shirt and blonde hair combed back. Below it reads: "Missy Maestro could command words like an orchestra, but nobody could command Yo Momma away from that third bucket of chicken."
  
  > look at Doc Stockholm
  The guy in the portrait wears a white jacket and rubber gloves. It reads: "Doc could tie your intestines to a knot with a single quip. Too bad for Yo Momma that he isn't a cosmetic surgeon."
  
  > look at Slick Joe
  The picture depicts a young bald guy with tattoos and hip hop clothes. The text says: "Slick Joe had his rhymes and his wits of which he let everyone have their share. Yo Momma has her tub-o-lard and that she never shares."
  
  > look at Gus
  Gus, that smug twit. The inscription reads: "They say to beat Gus in his game is an impossible task, but not as hard as raising a flag on Mount Yo Momma."
  
  > get the frame
  The missing portrait is out of reach.
  
  > Break gus
  The Gus portrait is out of reach.
  
  > throw taser at Gus
  Futile.
  
  > Tase ralph
  (with the taser)
  Ralph doesn't deserve zapping.
  
  > Go south
  Are you sure you want to quit?
  
  > examine Sleaze
  The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
  
  Norbert arrives from the east.
  
  > examine the spotlights
  The spotlights cover the tables in sharp light and at the same time leaving unlit areas in shadows.
  
  > look at the tag
  It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.
  
  > put sweater on the table
  (first taking it off)
  (first taking off the jacket)
  You put the sweater on the corner table. The spotlight lights it brightly.
  
  > look at the tag through the lens
  With sufficient light and magnification you can easily make out what it says on the tag. Washing instructions... wash separately... may release color... made for Cheap-O-Mart...
  
  Wait, Cheap-O-Mart? Where they sell crap and imported knick-knacks to poor people?
  
  Inspiration strikes you like a lightning. Gus, you're going down.
  
  > Norbert
  Arcade corner (SW corner)
  In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.
  
  Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.
  
  Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.
  
  There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
  
  Norbert goes north.
  
  > go to the north
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.
  
  The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  > give the lens to Norbert
  "I found your missing lens, Norbert."
  
  His eyes light up. "Oh! Oh, thank you! I've been looking everywhere!" He takes the lens, snaps it into the frames and attaches it with a piece of white tape. "Thanks, Jen," he says and prances off.
  
  "Yo momma's so old she had a pet dodo!"
  
  Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!
  
  "Yo momma's so fat she has a lot of weight..."
  
  Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.
  
  The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.
  
  You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
  
  > examine Sleaze
  The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
  
  > talk to Sleaze
  "Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
  
  > Point at beer
  You point at the beer in the menu. "Bartender! One beer!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the beer on the counter.
  
  > examine the beer
  It's like liquid bread, so it must be healty.
  
  "Why don't you know who an' you know who go you know where with you know what an' do you know what using you know what?" the Sleaze suggests. You do your best to ignore him.
  
  > throw the beer at Sleaze
  You splash the beer on the Sleaze.
  
  "Playing hard to get is see," the Sleaze winks with the beer dripping down his face.
  
  > Inventory
  You're carrying a glass of beer, a glass of cola, a lens, a taser, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
  
  > go to the south
  Arcade corner (SW corner)
  In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.
  
  Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.
  
  Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.
  
  There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
  
  > give the lens to Norbert
  "I found your missing lens, Norbert."
  
  His eyes light up. "Oh! Oh, thank you! I've been looking everywhere!" He takes the lens, snaps it into the frames and attaches it with a piece of white tape. "Thanks, Jen," he says and prances off.
  
  "Yo momma's so fat when she gets up on the wrong side of the bed it's because she has to use the spare pulley!"
  
  Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!
  
  "Yo momma's so stupid she has a low IQ..."
  
  Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.
  
  The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.
  
  You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
  
  > talk to Britney
  She seems to be busy talking, not really paying attention to who is listening. It's unlikely she'll blurt out any more gems.
  
  "Yo momma's so fat when they take aerial photos they have to ask her to move out of the way!"
  
  Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!
  
  "Yo momma's so ugly because her face is so ugly..."
  
  Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.
  
  The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.
  
  You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
  
  > Norbert
  Arcade corner (SW corner)
  In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.
  
  Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.
  
  Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.
  
  There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
  
  Norbert searches the plant carefully but finds nothing.
  
  > Arcade
  You are already there.
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so ugly that people say she doesn't look good."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  ?
  
  > sleaze
  "The greasehair over there? He's goin' to be picking his teeth from the floor in about five seconds," Vincent barks and storms into the bar. You witness a gruesome act that includes screaming, punching, and unhealthy amount of excruciating pain. You almost feel sorry for the Sleaze. Almost.
  
  Vincent storms back, shaking his head. "What a weasel," he mutters and returns to his game.
  
  > Bar
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  The Sleaze is lying face down on the floor.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  The Sleaze picks himself up from the floor and sways back to the counter. "Sheez, I wonder what that guy's problem was," he mutters.
  
  > look at Sleaze
  The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
  He looks quite ruffled after the Vincent incident.
  
  > talk to Sleaze
  "Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
  
  > Insult vincent
  "Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so fat she weighs a lot."
  
  Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"
  
  ?
  
  > sleaze
  "That smug bastard again? He's goin' to be picking his teeth from the floor in about five seconds," Vincent barks and storms into the bar. You witness a gruesome act that includes screaming, punching, and unhealthy amount of excruciating pain. You almost feel sorry for the Sleaze. Almost.
  
  Vincent storms back, shaking his head. "What a weasel," he mutters and returns to his game.
  
  > Bar
  Bar (western side)
  A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.
  
  There's a business card lying on the floor.
  
  The Sleaze is lying face down on the floor.
  
  The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
  
  The Sleaze picks himself up from the floor and sways back to the counter. "I guess some people just can't handle my good looks," he mutters.
  
  > take the card
  Taken. The card must have fallen from the Sleaze's pocket when he fell to the ground.
  
  "Yo momma's so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to throw her back into the ocean!"
  
  Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!
  
  "Yo momma's so ugly that people say she doesn't look good..."
  
  Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.
  
  The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.
  
  You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
  
  > examine the card
  (first picking it up)
  Taken. The card must have fallen from the Sleaze's pocket when he fell to the ground.
  
  It reads "Sleazeball McDouchebag, Junior Sales Assistant, Johnson's Used Cars and Auto Parts."
  
  > scrape the gum with the card
  You scrape the gum off. It's now on the business card.
  
  > put the gum on the rap
  You stick the bubblegum in and around the rap button.
  
  "Yo momma's so fat she bought two tents and a coil of rope to make herself a bikini top!"
  
  Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!
  
  "Yo momma's so stupid she has a low IQ..."
  
  Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.
  
  The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.
  
  You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
  
  > open satchel
  You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.
  
  Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.
  
  Ralph returns from the jukebox.
  
  "Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
  
  "Yo momma's so fat when she gets up on the wrong side of the bed it's because she has to use the spare pulley!"
  
  Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!
  
  "Yo momma's so fat she has a lot of weight..."
  
  Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.
  
  The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.
  
  You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
  
  > take the gum
  (with the business card)
  You scrape the gum off. It's now on the business card.
  
  > put the gum on the ass
  You stick the bubblegum in and around the classical button.
  
  > open the satchel
  You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.
  
  "Hey! What's wrong with this stupid machine?" Ralph swears and pounds on the jukebox buttons.
  
  > Examine books
  Let's see, a Jack Mills pocket book... something about gardening... man, he reads crappy books too.
  
  "Stupid piece of junk," Ralph says.
  
  > examine the wallet
  Huh, it's Gus's wallet. Might be interesting.
  
  Ralph has a fit and pounds himself instead of the jukebox.
  
  > open the wallet
  You go through the wallet quckily and discover a photograph. Looks like... well, it's an ugly old hag... wait, could it be Gus's momma?
  
  Yes! It must be! She has this horrible wart in the middle of her face... Now that just gets your creative juices moving, not to mention your dinner. You quickly replace the picture and the wallet.
  
  Ralph finally gets the bubblegum scraped off the button and gets the music changed. He comes back to his seat, steaming from the ears.
  
  "Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
  
  > Facts
  Did you know that...
  ...Yo momma's so fat NASA has a satellite in orbit around her?
  ...Yo momma's so stupid she needs a dictionary to read the alphabet? ...Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower?
  ...Yo momma's so stupid she got lost in the desert and drowned?
  ...Yo momma's so ugly a grue refused to eat her?
  ...Yo momma's so fat she drove three all-you-can-eat buffets into bankruptcy - in one night?
  ...Yo momma's so ugly she makes onions cry?
  ...Yo momma's so stupid she lost count while counting to one?
  ...Yo momma's so fat her chins have different area codes?
  ...Yo momma's so fat she bought two tents and a coil of rope to make herself a bikini top?
  ...Yo momma's so old she had a pet dodo?
  ...Yo momma's so fat she's likely to be half-eaten by a grue?
  ...Yo momma's so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to throw her back into the ocean?
  ...Yo momma's so fat when she walks on the road she's legally classified as a semi-truck?
  ...Yo momma's so fat when she switches her watch to the other hand
  she has to set it to a new time zone?
  ...Yo momma's so stupid she got locked inside a grocery store and starved?
  ...Yo momma's so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout?
  ...Yo momma's so ugly she's the control at the ugly stick factory? ...Yo momma's so stupid she got run over by a parked car?
  ...Yo momma's so stupid she saw a "wet floor" sign and did it?
  ...Yo momma's so fat when they take aerial photos they have to ask
  her to move out of the way?
  ...Yo momma's so fat when she gets up on the wrong side of the bed it's because she has to use the spare pulley?
  
  And that...
  ...Yo momma's so fat she don't fit in Z-machine?
  
  Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT, see your full SCORE, or read some painful FACTS of life?