text: [Themes: modern]
  
  You have no desire to go get a job, but you decide you'd better make the effort. Tina suggests that you could go to Billy Ray's Burgers since he's always hiring, but you're loathed to work in that shithole.
  
  Maybe you should try the Big Jim's Repair Shop, though you don't really want to work for that miserable bastard either.
  
  Your cousin Clem always said you could help him with his Pig Farm, but you're not sure if you want to put up with his wife. You already have to deal with one bitch at home, you don't feel like dealing with one at work too.
  
  Speaking of which, Tina also suggests that they need a new bouncer at her strip club, Kitty City. Wow, working with your girlfriend, joy joy joy...
  
  Of course there's always odd jobs you could do around the trailer park and pick up metal scraps to sell to the junkyard, the problem there is trying to make enough money doing it to appease Tina.
  
  > go to Big Jim's
  Well it's not much better than Billy's, but at least you won't have to put up with teenage co-workers.
  
  You head over to Jim's and enter his dank, dark repair shop. A large American Flag adorns the wall right along side a Confederate one. Various weapons are mounted on the walls, probably already loaded and fully functional. Johnny Cash can be heard faintly in the shop and the place reeks of WD-40, smoke and fused metal. Jim doesn't repair shit so much as he just fiddles with it until it somehow works. You hear the squeaking of wheels and see a billow of smoke..."Big" Jim comes from out from his office and there he is, in all his legless, chain smoking, wheelchair glory.
  
  "Goddammit Mel, what the fuck do you want?" he shouts at you.
  "I want a fucking job, you mean old bastard! Why the hell is it so empty in here?"
  "That fucking commie bastard Petrov down the street opened up a repair place down the street, so people are going there now! Can you fucking believe that shit? I'm a fucking (COUGH COUGH!) war hero!"
  "Yeah, well maybe if this place didn't look like a fucking dungeon, people might want to actually come in here."
  "Motherfucker I spent a year in a fucking tiger pit with no goddamn sunlight, my eyes never got accustomed to bright light after that! I'd like to see how long you would've lasted in the bush against Charlie!" Jim says wheeling up to you and poking you in the chest.
  "What going on down there!?" you hear a higher pitched voice come from the upstairs living area of the shop.
  "Nevermind Mei Mei! Go back to your fuckin' cleaning!"
  "Fuck you, you legless American pig!"
  "I bet you wished you hadn't saved her from that village now, eh? So I guess with business being slow, you aren't hiring?"
  "Thing aren't that bad, and as much as I'm loathed to admit I could use some help and you just might come in handy. You can either help me repair shit around here, or (COUGH!) perhaps you'd like to go on a little mission for me."
  
  > help with repairs
  "Look, I'm just here to fix shit, not to indulge your Nam flashbacks."
  "Wait, do you even know how to fix anything?"
  "I can use a hammer."
  "Good enough. Well? Get to work motherfucker! (COUGH!)" Jim says and goes back to his work table in his office.
  You start to work on a TV. Soon a customer comes in. He doesn't look like he's from around here. He's well groomed for one thing. He has a disdainful look upon his face as he enters and approaches you.
  
  "Hey you, my car just broke down."
  "Oh yeah? That's tough shit. What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" you ask.
  "Well isn't this a repair place?"
  "Yeah, for TVs an' toasters an' shit, not fuckin' cars ya fucktard! Hector's garage is over on the other side of town."
  "I can't possibly be expected to go traipsing in this god forsaken town! I was just passing through, and had the misfortune of breaking down in front of your shop! Don't your type usually know how to fix vehicles?"
  "MY TYPE? What the..." before you can finish, Jim comes squeaking from his office.
  "What the hell's going on here?"
  "This uptight bitch came in here demanding that I fix his car, I told him Hector's garage is over on the other side of town."
  Jim looks at the outsider up and down.
  "You willin' to pay up boy?" Jim asks.
  "Yes, yes! Anything, I just want to get out of this town!"
  "Alright, assuming your car isn't in too bad of condition, (COUGH! COUGH!) I think we probably got the tools and supplies here to fix it."
  "Good! And be quick about it!" the man says and walks out the door.
  "Well you heard him Mel." Jim says.
  "What? I didn't sign up for that!" you say
  "(COUGH!) Oh fuck Mel that dickhead (COUGH!) probably just blew a hose or some shit. It can't be that hard to fix! Besides with Petrov cuttin' in on my business, it'll be a nice (COUGH!) chunk of change."
  "Wait, aren't YOU cutting in on Hector's business by getting into fixing vehicles?"
  "Look, are ya gonna do it or (COUGH!) not ya argumentative sonofabitch?"
  
  > go fix the car
  "Alright, fine! What do you want to charge this rube?"
  "Just try to get as (COUGH!) much as you can." Jim says.
  
  Keeping that in mind you leave the shop, "Fuck! The sun!" you say as your eyes have to get re-accustomed to the outside. You see the stuck up prick by his fancy convertible car. You also see what you assume is his girlfriend or wife still sitting in it.
  
  "Okay lift up the hood and let's see what's wrong with this thing." You say.
  "Me? You're the mechanic! You do it!"
  "For fuck's sake all ya gotta do is pull the little handle in the...nevermind I'll fuckin' do it you prissy bitch!"
  Before you can reach into the car to pull the hood handle, the man's girlfriend pulls it instead.
  "Steve, we don't need to antagonize the man." She says.
  "Susan, will you keep quiet! I know how to handle this situation! Stop nagging me!"
  "Oh yeah, you're handling everything real well pretty boy. Sounds like there's trouble in paradise. Heh heh!" you say.
  "Mind your own business, and just fix the car!" Steve snaps.
  "You better start fuckin' mindin' your tone with me." You say waving a wrench at him. "And stop fuckin' hovering over me. If I'm gonna fix this thing I need the both of you out of the fuckin' way!"
  "And where are we supposed to wait?"
  "I dunno, I don't give a fuck! Go to the fuckin' porn shop down the block and buy your girlfriend a fuckin' vibrator or something. Or buy one for yourself, whatever shit you're into, just leave me alone!"
  
  Steve seems unable to even form a response to your tirade, he just takes his girlfriend and walks off somewhere in a huff. Good. Now you can work in peace. Sure enough, Jim was right, there was a blown hose. All you have to do is replace it. You could fix it properly though, if you went back in and got some more tools.
  
  > just replace it
  This arrogant fuck has pissed you off, and you're not about to waste anymore time than you need to on his car. You replace the hose and slam the hood down just in time for Steve and his girlfriend to come back.
  
  "It's all fixed."
  "Took you long enough, how much is it?"
  "How much you got?"
  "Don't try to intimidate me, how much?"
  "Motherfucker, if I was trying to intimidate you, you'd be begging for mercy and pissing your pants by now. I'm asking you how much you got!" you say getting in his face and then grabbing his wallet from him. You take 400 dollars out of his wallet, and hand it back to him. Steve looks like he wants to say something but resists and just gets in the car. Lucky him.
  "God you're such a pussy!" Susan says to Steve.
  "Shut up! Shut up!" Steve says back and screeches off.
  
  You go back inside and hand Jim a hundred dollar bill.
  "Mel, (COUGH!) you better damn well give me the rest of this shit!"
  "What? You said get as much as I could and he wouldn't budge. I only used a fifty cent piece of fuckin' rubber to fix his car anyway, you still made a profit ya greedy bastard!"
  Jim looks at you VERY suspiciously, "You probably pocketed the rest." he says,
  but lets it drop.
  
  The rest of the day is relatively uneventful until Mei Mei starts yelling at Jim again, you take that as a good opportunity to leave and say you'll see him tomorrow. You also take the opportunity to stop and get drunk at the bar. You get loaded and don't leave until the wee hours of the night, you end up running over 2 cats on your way home and park your truck in the middle of the trailer park. You stumble to your trailer and fumble with your keys. Tina opens up the door.
  
  "Did you get a job today?"
  "(Hic!) Sure did baby!"
  "Alright you can come in." Tina says and attempts to guide you to the bed, but your body decides it will be more comfortable on the floor.