text: [Themes: grimdark fantasy, grimdark, fantasy, dystopia, war]
  
  You want to live so much that nothing else matters to you, and no matter how much it sickens you utter "I...I will serve you..." with great effort.
  "Yes, you will serve, but do you mean it? I don't think so. You're lying to survive this encounter. This is interesting. I was correct in that you are not as rigid as your fellows. If you are willing to risk lying to me in an attempt to save your life, then you are possibly willing to do ANYTHING to save your own life...that means there is still hope for you. I'd advise you though, do not wait too long to pick a side, otherwise you may find that even your will to survive won't be enough to save you.
  
  The feeling of oppression leaves you, and it's instead replaced by a surge of pain jolting through your body. You'd probably cry out if you could, instead you suffer in silence.
  
  "You will be given the powers I bestow to all my worshippers. Whether you will use them to further the cause or not, is another matter, but one that shall be interesting to see unfold. I have a feeling we shall speak again Eternal."
  And with those last words, you blackout and lose consciousness.
  
  When you wake up, you find yourself back in the room where you first stepped into the portal. Master Ebon, Brother Gray, Cyrus and Talia all stand around you.
  
  "He's awake." Brother Gray remarks.
  "Hmm, it truly is the work of Dendrin that he survived the process. Dendrin must've seen something in him that I did not. I will have to ask for forgiveness of my lack of vision tonight in my prayers. You two, help your brother up, he has proven worthy to be called a shadow and passed Dendrin's judgement."
  
  As Cyrus and Talia help you up, you're feeling a little groggy and you ask who Dendrin is. Everyone goes silent as if you've said the wrong thing.
  
  "Who is Dendrin? Are you jesting? Dendrin is our god! Surely his name appeared in your mind when he spoke to you during the ceremony." Talia exclaims.
  "Huh...oh...right...I dunno I feel so drained and woozy right now." You sputter, so as to cover up your less than typical experience with Dendrin.
  "Hmm, well that does happen. Some new members take days to fully recover after being in the presence of his power." Master Ebon remarks. "In any case, I welcome the three of you to the fold and you are now truly as brothers and sister to us. Our bond is stronger than any can hope to imagine and with Dendrin's guidance there is nothing we can't accomplish. You three shall report to Fortress Gloom, from there you will receive your future assignments and even additional training on your new powers. I shall take my leave now as I have other more important duties to perform. Brother Gray I trust you can take it from here."
  
  Master Ebon leaves, and Brother Gray does indeed take over. He mentions that the four of you will be heading by carriage to Fortress Gloom, which is located in Quala, the home province of the Empire. Fortress Gloom is apparently the sole head quarters of all the Shadow Guard.
  
  On the carriage ride there Brother Gray speaks more on Gloom.
  
  "Personally we'd prefer it if we were located in the Delerg province, but since most of our assignments are in Quala, the Empire desires that we stay close by, still our home at least borders on Delerg so it isn't all bad and things will be set right one day.
  "What is so special about Delerg?" you ask and once again you've said something that causes disapproving silence followed by scolding.
  
  "Sheesh, you really are out of it aren't you? Delerg is the original home of the Shadows! You should know this when Dendrin open your mind to our history!" Cyrus shouts.
  
  Once again you apologize and claim you're having problems with gaps in your memory and continued disorientation. Brother Gray is a little more understanding and says that you'll soon recover and remember everything and that in the mean time you can refresh your memory with the books at Fortress Gloom.
  
  You thank him and decide to stay quiet until you can get a better understanding of your situation. It is apparent that you did not pass through the ceremony like everyone else did. Cyrus and Talia seem like they're dedicated converts now. Brian and David are no where to be seen and nobody has mentioned them. You can assume that Dendrin destroyed them for some reason. Presumably because they refused to serve, but still that doesn't explain why you were spared. Dendrin obviously knew you were just paying him lip service to save your own life, and he passed you anyway. Is there something else in store for you?
  
  You don't know and you can't do much about it right now. You just hope you can make it through this.
  
  Eventually the carriage stops at the edge of a forest area.
  
  "Okay we have to walk the rest of the way; it's not too far though." Gray remarks and all of you get out and the carriage driver quickly makes his way out of the area.
  
  Gray leads the way through the dark forest. The trees have so much foliage that they're blocking out most of the sunlight. Several times you could swear something is watching you in the trees, but nothing attacks. Gray, Cyrus and Talia, aren't on edge as you are, but then they wouldn't have cause to be.
  
  Eventually you all an area with a large rock formation in the forest. Gray mumbles a few words and then another portal opens up in one of the large rocks. He tells you all to follow and you do. After a long flight of stairs downward, you finally reach Gloom proper. It certainly lives up to its name as you travel the corridors the entire place is barely lit, the place is also very quiet. Gray goes on to explain that the place used to be a former Derro stronghold, but they abandoned it for unknown reasons long before the Shadow Guard started to use it.
  
  After a small tour of a small portion of the fortress, Brother Gray tells you all that you will all share the same room with some of the other newer members for now, though he says that the room itself might currently be empty as they are probably on their duties right now. He also goes on to say that he wants you to test out your shadow powers in the training are tomorrow before you go on assignments, so you should try to rest in the meantime.
  
  You, Cyrus and Talia retire to your room and sure enough it is indeed empty of any other members right now. You all grab a bed that doesn't look like it has been taken yet. Cyrus begins to speak.
  
  "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to test some of my powers now. I figure I should get a head start on the practice." He says and then attempts to make himself invisible. He flickers for a moment, but then fails completely causing himself to collapse on the bed.
  
  "Wow, maybe I shouldn't have tried something so hard at first." He says breathing hard.
  
  Talia does something a little different; she begins to run from one end of the room to the other. For a brief moment she is a barely visible blur, but she too is winded from the effort.
  
  "I think we should wait until we have proper instruction first. You two are going to hurt yourselves." You say.
  "Proper instruction? All the knowledge is right here! Dendrin saw to that!" Cyrus says pointing to his head. "All we need to do is practice."
  "Leave him be brother, he's still recovering from his experience being in the presence of Dendrin."
  "Yeah, I guess. What an eye opener that experience was though! Seriously, all that stuff we learned was really enlightening. Don't you agree sister?"
  "Oh yes. Just think, all those lies they told us just to try to keep us loyal to the so called Emperor. Murderous tyrant is all he really is and his day will come." Talia says.
  
  You can't believe what you're hearing. It's unreal to hear two Eternals you've practically grown up with to speak such...treason! You don't know what they heard when they went through the ceremony, but it's very apparent they have been corrupted. As much as you've been trying to keep your feelings on everything secret, you almost feel like you must speak or do something about it.
  
  > remain silent
  As much as you want to, speaking about your own thoughts on this situation would be folly. Cyrus and Talia have obviously been brainwashed and you're deep in a fortress that contains traitors that would undoubtedly overwhelm you even if did try to escape. No, your time will be better spent waiting until you are at least able to get out of the fortress and report to someone of importance in the Empire.
  
  It's about the only thing you can do. In the meantime you're going to have to do your best to fit in and learn. Instead of engaging in the practicing of your shadow powers (Which you're still too worried about using to be honest) you take one of the books in a nearby shelf and begin reading about the laws and scripture of the Shadow Guard seeing as you didn't experience the immediate knowledge of all this stuff during your encounter with Dendrin.
  
  You fall asleep reading, but you don't exactly have a restful sleep. The next morning you are awakened and the three of you are taken to the training room as discussed the day before. Talia and Cyrus seem to master their new powers relatively quickly; you on the other hand have some problems. Your trainer, Brother Shade doesn't understand why you are, but is somewhat frustrated that he has to spend more time with you. He never threatens you with any sort of physical punishment though, which is a relief.
  
  After a few weeks Talia and Cyrus have been sent on various assignments, meanwhile you're still confined to the fortress due to your sub-par shadow magic (Though not your fighting skills) Brother Shade insists that you stay another few months before being sent on any mission. This gives you more cause for some anxiousness since you really want to leave in order to tell someone about this place. Instead you continue to try to learn as much as you can through reading.
  
  You don't mix too much with the other Shadow Guards and mostly keep to yourself. You just don't feel any connection with any of them even after studying more of the history and beliefs. You just look at them and see traitors to the Empire. The eeriest thing is how the Shadow Guard occasionally makes passing treasonous remarks and will mention how the Empire will fall soon, like it's a foregone conclusion.
  
  Even Cyrus and Talia, are sort of distant now. The only time they really speak is to taunt you about your magic training. You have to wonder if they is a little revenge going on there as you were always a better close combat fighter than either of them. They of course are fitting in very well with the rest. Cyrus especially seems close to another Shadow Guard by the name of Draven.
  
  You try to remain positive though that you'll eventually get the chance to leave this place. While to most people in your situation feeling fear and nervousness would be pretty natural, but for you it is definitely something that isn't natural and you don't like it at all.
  
  Eventually that day comes and you are summoned to Brother Gray's office.
  
  "Okay, I believe you're ready. I don't understand why it took you so long though, you showed such promise during our initial training exercises."
  "I suppose I'm just not magically inclined Brother Gray."
  "Perhaps, but the power and knowledge that Dendrin infused into you, should've circumvented any of that...no matter I've been told by Brother Shade that your skill is good enough now. Still, I'm also trouble by the reports that you've been distant to your fellow Shadows. This is your family now, you shouldn't be stand offish to them, you need to embrace them as your brothers and sisters because that's what they are."
  "I'm sorry Brother Gray, I guess I've just felt self-conscious about my lack of magic skills. Everyone else picked it up so easy compared to me and I didn't feel like I belonged."
  "Hmm, well I suppose you probably received some taunts, but family members do that too. You shouldn't have taken it too personal, and I think if you would've asked, one of them would've helped you. Surely Brother Cyrus or Sister Talia would've helped given that you have the most in common with them."
  "Maybe...I dunno. They fit in better."
  "(Sigh) This won't do at all. Here I am thinking that you were ready, but apparently you have some deeper issues. I swear you are the first to have such a problem. I mean you know that we are all on the same side here right? You know that we will stick together no matter what correct? We all have a duty to Dendrin and we are going to see to it that his glory be restored and that means teamwork, community and family."
  "...yes I suppose you're right."
  "Well I'm not right about everything. I think you need to be involved in some more socializing around here, before we send you out."
  "What? But I'm ready! I want to leave!" you say with a loud tone.
  "And I don't think that's a good idea. You obviously don't feel welcomed by your fellow Shadows, and that's not a good mindset to have out in the field if you don't trust your own family."
  "But..."
  "No buts! I know you're probably anxious to start serving Dendrin in a meaningful way, but I still think you need to stay a little longer. There will be no more debate about this. Dendrin demands that his worshippers trust one another, for it is our unity that will ensure our struggle will succeed. I think you'll need to stay in here for the remainder of the year, then I think you should be ready. You are dismissed, brother."
  
  The remainder of the year, your heart sinks into further hopelessness. You don't know if you can stand this place much longer, let alone have to make "friends" with the people here.
  
  Yet you must if you want to survive. And that's what you did when you met Dendrin isn't it? You did what you had to, to survive. You leave Brother Gray's office.
  
  "By the Emperor, give me the strength to exist in this lair of traitors that seek to do you harm. May I be strong enough to survive and warn you in time." You quietly say to yourself.
  
  As you head back to your room to attempt to make friends. You wonder why Dendrin let you live when he knew you would seek to destroy his followers. Is it some sort of sick game that a being like him finds amusing?
  
  It must be, because it's the only rational explanation at this point.
  
  > Continue
  Year 18
  
  "And so I said to the blacksmith, well if you're intending on killing the Emperor, you better damn well have a better plan than those group of thugs you've been supplying with weapons in the sewers. At least supply them to some thugs who the Emperor wouldn't be able to smell six miles away!" you say, and this is followed by a few laughs from some of your fellow shadows.
  "Hah, good one brother! Tell me, what did you do to the blacksmith?" Brother Murk asks.
  "Oh we relocated him to our safehouse in Derlerg along with his buddies, reported that we eliminated him as a dissident...you know the usual. I must say, their surprise that we aren't going to kill them is always amusing though." You reply.
  "Yes, given our reputation, I imagine it is. Still, it's all for a good cause eh, brother?"
  "Yes brother, it certainly is." You say to Murk with a nod and take another drink of black tea.
  "Well I have to say I'm very glad you've finally managed to settle in brother, I have to admit, for awhile I was getting a little worried about you. You just didn't seem like yourself after our ceremony initiation." Talia says.
  "Yeah, well I guess I was just a late bloomer or something."
  "Don't worry about it brother, it's all in the past. What matters now is that we're all on the same page now." Murk replies.
  
  On the same page...the problem is you really aren't on the same page. You haven't been since you got here. The other problem? You're starting to feel like you might be getting there though. During the time you were forced to socialize you just swallowed your fear and self-doubt and proceeded like it was any mission. And you were successful. Perhaps a little too successful.
  
  Once you actually got sent out on a mission, you were paired up with Brother Murk. A fellow you had become semi-friendly with during your months of socializing. Your original plan was as soon as you left Gloom, you were going to run to the nearest Empire fort and make your report.
  
  Though for this plan to succeed in any meaningful way you would've had to kill Murk and despite your better judgment, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You later cursed yourself for this temporary weakness and the next time you were sent out, you vowed to yourself that you'd do it again, the problem was you had only become friendlier with Murk within that time. You failed again.
  
  By the time they rotated your partnership and you were paired you with someone else, you still couldn't do it, because now you actually started to feel like the Shadow Guard really was like a family to you. And you liked that feeling. In fact it was the best you've felt in a long time.
  
  Yet, now you are in a difficult position. You are still loyal to the Empire and the Emperor first, but you haven't been able to find the fortitude to expose the Shadow Guard for what they are. You attempt to rationalize it in your mind, by claiming the longer you stay the more you learn about their exact plans, and while that's certainly true, it really isn't the TRUTH.
  
  The real truth is you're starting to believe in the Shadow Guard's cause slightly. You don't know if it's because you've spent so much time here that you've developed some sort of emotional attachment or some odd sort of subtle indoctrination.
  
  Is this what Dendrin really had in store for you? Did he know you could be turned even without his intervention? Before you had that experience everything was so certain, your feelings weren't a constant source of ups and downs. Even under Mistress, you don't remember ever feeling this. It was either success or death. It was very simple and you preferred it.
  
  Now you don't know what the hell you're doing. Are you a traitor? Are you still loyal? Are you both? Are you neither?
  
  You excuse yourself from the rest of your brothers and sister and say you have to get some rest, though in reality you have to take a long look at your priorities. Once again you spend a few more months going through your usual routines and quietly suffering in silence.
  
  That comes to a halt when Murk comes into the barracks one day...
  
  "Hey, where are brother Cyrus and sister Talia?" he immediately asks you.
  "Uh, sister Talia I think is in the library and brother Cyrus is probably with brother Draven somewhere." You reply.
  "Oh, well I'll go get Talia, someone else can look for Cyrus, but you need to report to Master Ebon right away."
  "What's this all about?"
  "I don't know, just that he wants you, Talia and Cyrus to see him. Something about someone from the Empire wanting to meet with all three of you. Sounds important."
  
  You get up and walk to Master Ebon's office which remains closed, so you wait. A few moments later, Talia joins you.
  
  "Hello, brother. Isn't master Ebon here?"
  "If he is, he isn't answering his door, so I've been waiting outside."
  "Do you know what this is about?"
  "Dunno, just that someone from the Empire wants to see us."
  
  Talia nods and remains silent. Soon Cyrus joins you and asks a similar question, to which you answer in a similar manner. He grunts at you and stands as far from you as possible, though he says something polite to Talia. Same old Cyrus.
  
  No sooner has Cyrus got there, when Ebon's door opens. You hear a voice that tells you to come in. You didn't even think he was inside, but you guess he was really waiting to see you all together. When you all enter, he tell Cyrus to close the door and gets right to the point.
  
  "You three have been summoned by Mr. Mol. Apparently he wants to ask you a few questions and is insisting on doing it somewhere in the capital I believe. In any case, he claims he wants to check on your progress as an Eternal, but I suspect he's fishing for information about us."
  "You don't think he suspects anything do you?" Talia asks.
  "I do not believe he knows anything about our true goals, if he or anyone did, I have no doubt we would've been moved upon by now. No, I think this is just another Empire ploy to try to get more inside intel on our organization, which for the reasons I just mentioned they cannot know about."
  "I won't say a word to this running dog of the Empire! My eyes have been open a long time and my loyalty is and will always be to Dendrin." Cyrus says.
  
  Master Ebon nods. "Yes, I know it will be. I have no doubt, but I still would like you all to just be on your guard when answering questions none the less. It probably won't come to this, but kill yourselves if you have to. It won't be ideal, since it'll arouse suspicion, but it'll still give us time to go ahead with our plan anyway, even if it would be a few years early. Anyway, the three of you are to make your way to the town of Lenet and from there you'll take an Empire carriage to the capital. Return immediately if you are able. May Dendrin and the shadows hide your true intentions."
  
  With those last words, Ebon sends you away and the three of you set off on your journey. You begin to feel nervous as soon as you leave Gloom, you weren't expecting this happening, but deep down you did know that something like it was going to happen eventually. You remain mostly quiet during the journey as you try to get in a certain frame of mind of what you're going to do or say. Cyrus is mostly silent as well, though you're guessing that's because he's so firmly entrenched in his belief in Dendrin, that he knows what he's going to say and do.
  
  Talia is the only talkative one and that's mainly questions about what you both think Mr. Mol will ask you. You know she's dedicated herself to Dendrin, but you sense that perhaps she's a little nervous too, though you don't know if it's due to her new loyalty to Dendrin or because she's been harboring secret loyalty to the Empire like you have. You decide to imagine it's the latter, mainly because you want to make yourself feel better.
  
  Eventually the carriage from Lenet reaches Qale, the Empire's capital and several soldiers immediately step forward to say they are here to escort you to Mr. Mol. The three of you are taken from the opulence of one of the main streets and quickly through a system of back alleys until you eventually reach a non-descript building. You enter and there you see Mr. Mol. It's the well dressed man you saw speaking to Brother Gray six years ago. He's also wearing the same formal black suit he was back then.
  
  "Ah, the Shadow Eternals. I've so wanted to catch up with your progress, but my attention was on your less subtle peers for a while. I think we've sorted them out though, so now it's time to sort you out as well. Just a formality really, we just want to see if you're achieving your full potential in the Shadow Guard. After all you're Eternals first, and we wouldn't want your talents to not be used to their fullest potential in the service of the Emperor, right?"
  
  Cyrus and Talia say nothing, but you feel obligated to acknowledge that question if only to not look suspicious.
  
  "Correct. All that we are, we owe to the Emperor's will." you say.
  "Glad to hear it! Now then we're just going to be asking you some questions, these soldiers will take you to a place to wait. Off you go."
  
  At this point the three of are marched out of the room and down a long hallway. The cold broken stone walls and desolation of this place almost makes Gloom look cheery by comparison. Eventually you reach a door on your left and Cyrus is told to wait inside the room. He enters without a word, but gives you and Talia a look like "Say nothing!"
  
  A few moments later you reach another door on the left, this time Talia is told to wait inside. She hesitates for a moment, but enters. She gives you a look as well, though this one is more of concern.
  
  Finally you reach the last door on the left and you are told to enter and wait. You do so without looking at anyone. The door shuts behind you and the ominous sound of a lock is heard.
  
  There isn't much you can do, so you sit down at one of the chairs in the middle of the room and wait.
  
  And wait...and wait...and wait...and wait...
  
  You don't know how much time has passed, but you get up and move about several times before sitting down again. You don't quite panic as much as you think you would, but being alone with your thoughts is definitely not the best thing for you. Right now you're already thinking they've managed to break Talia into talking and probably killed Cyrus.
  
  Maybe if you cooperate right now, there will be leniency? Why shouldn't you cooperate? The Shadow Guard ARE traitors after all, and this is just the kick in the ass you needed to remind you of that.
  
  But then there's the other part of you that feels loyal to the shadows and how you shouldn't betray them. You go back and forth what you're going to do several times, and then you hear the lock on the door. Mr. Mol enters...
  
  > tell him everything
  You're going to tell him everything. Yes, it is true that you've bonded a bit with the Shadow Guard and you can even understand their motivations, but Mr. Mol is right. You're an Eternal first and your duty is ultimately to the Emperor. If you suffer any punishment due to not coming forward sooner then so be it.
  
  Mr. Mol sits down in the other chair in the room and before he can even say anything you get straight to the point.
  
  "The Shadow Guard is planning to betray the Empire. They have been for years. Centuries even. They've just been biding their time for the right moment to strike, and that moment is supposed to be soon."
  
  Mr. Mol sits back and exhales deeply.
  
  "Well, I guess that saves me a little time. I certainly thank you for that, your fellow Eternals were disappointing in that regard."
  "Are...are they dead?"
  "Dead? Oh no. They're very much alive. Knew they were hiding something, but I assumed it was just typical Shadow Guard bullshit about their god and rituals. Possibly even manipulating things to benefit their order, but that's certainly to be expected. (Sigh) We really should've been doing something about them a long time ago, and to a certain extent that's why you Eternals were created. I'm glad at least one of you managed to avoid brainwashing...which brings me to another question. Why didn't you come forward with this information before?"
  "I...I have no excuse...I felt very influenced sir. After I went through the shadow ceremony and their god spoke to me...I..."
  "Hold on, you actually spoke to Dendrin?" Mr. Mol stop you.
  "Yes, you know the god's name?"
  "Of course I do, it isn't as much of a secret as the shadows like to pretend. It just isn't spoken out loud in public because that's part of the original agreement. Certainly don't need a bunch of religious fanatics gaining any more power by speaking highly of their god to the masses. Even if said fanatics are loyal to the Emperor, which apparently has never been the case if what you're saying is true. Now start at the beginning and ALL of what you've learned."
  
  You start from the moment you ran into the portal and continue about your experiences from there. Mr. Mol makes several notes and tells you to explain in greater detail on certain things. As you tell him all the shadow secrets you know, you feel a great weight lifted off of you, but you still feel very anxious since you don't know what's going to happen to you afterwards.
  
  "Okay...this is great information. Makes a lot of sense now any past attempts to infiltrate the Shadow Guard have never worked when their own god is indoctrinating them completely in their ceremony. Well except you of course. Guess nobody's perfect, not even a god. Still, we shouldn't have been so complacent either, but with this information I think we can get this under control within time."
  "So what's next?" you ask.
  "Next? Well you and your fellows go back to Gloom like nothing has happened. I'll be in touch with you in the future to give you further instructions."
  "You're not going to destroy them now?"
  "Heh, well we certainly could with this information alone, but from what you've told me, the dissention is more than just the Shadow Guard at this point. They've got safehouses of dissidents in various locations...this is a big job and ideally, we want to neutralize the majority of this threat in one swoop. If we moved now all it would do is tear the Empire in half sooner rather than later. This isn't going to be pretty even if our counter plan goes right, but the best thing is we do know that we need to focus internally now. Plans to invade the Felkan Kingdom again will have to wait unfortunately."
  "So, I'm not to be punished?"
  "Punished? What for? Oh you mean because you felt influenced? Well, that is concerning, however considering you just told me everything after constantly being bombarded with shadow propaganda not to mention Dendrin's own words I'd say your willpower is strong enough to resist anything. In fact I need to make a note of that too, it'll help to know for future Eternals."
  "Future Eternals?"
  "Oh yes, the project is still going on. In fact we'll need more of your type to fill in the gap that will be left by the Shadow Guard when they're gone. Those that know the value of loyalty and duty to the Empire like you of course. We'll try to prevent mistakes like Talia and Cyrus this time. Like I said nobody's perfect, but we can still strive towards it."
  
  Mr. Mol then sits forward, puts a hand on your shoulder and stares into your eyes.
  
  "The Empire needs you more than ever to defend it from its enemies and you're in the perfect position to do so. Is your duty clear?"
  "Yes, I live to serve the Empire and the Emperor. They will always come first, before everything else." You confidently reply.
  "Good. Good. I'm glad to hear it and I certainly hope now you feel better and less alone knowing that you have the entire might of the Empire su