text: > go north
  This vast room is presumably where the D'Arcy clan eat their meals; it reminds you too much of your old school dinner hall for you to feel entirely comfortable here. A large sturdy table sits in the centre of the room, surrounded by ten carefully-crafted chairs, and a set of antique jugs rest on stools in a small alcove in the west wall. The walls are covered in paintings which look impressive until you examine them closely and see that they are certainly not in the league of the great masters. The back garden is accessible via a door to the north, a corridor leads south, and the kitchen is through the swing doors to the east.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  > turn on the tap
  That's not something you can switch.
  
  Scamp trots along here from the west, and is immediately spotted by the Chef. "Get that thing out of here!" she screams at you, as if you are responsible for Scamp. He stands his ground, snarling slightly, and the Chef turns away hurriedly and gets on with something else.
  
  > ask Chef about the guard
  "All these distractions!" she screams suddenly. "How am I expected to work with distractions?!" You suspect that, in this case, she is being noisy and bad tempered in order to hide something.
  
  > bite chef
  "Woof."
  
  > examine the diamond
  On close inspection the diamond turns out to be a poor fake, and it would take a really dim person to be fooled. It seems someone around here has a strange sense of humour.
  
  Scamp trots off to the southwest.
  
  > give the diamond to Chef
  (first taking the diamond)
  (putting the golf ball into the plastic supermarket bag to make room) The chef doesn't bother looking at what you are offering; she merely screams her frustration at being interrupted.
  
  > Go southwest
  You are in a glorious oak-panelled room, with a large fireplace to one side. This is where the family relaxes, assuming that such a monstrous family relaxes at all. An antique-style telephone rests on the mantelpiece, and a large hi-tech widescreen television sits on a video recorder in the corner. From here, you observe exits to the east and northeast.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  A young woman called Chloe sits nearby reading a book.
  
  Scamp trots off to the east.
  
  Static hisses from the television.
  
  > Go east
  The grand entrance hall of D'Arcy manor evokes a twinge of jealousy within you - the grand wooden polished floors and staircase, the expensive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, the priceless Compton painting hanging on a wall. Why can't you inherit something like this? Leaving aside feelings of bitterness, you observe a cupboard under the stairs and a bell on a table near the door to the south. Doorways (which are probably more expensive than your entire house) lead off to the east and west, and a passageway lies north.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  The mother of the bride stands in a corner fretting away to herself as only hysterical mothers can.
  
  Scamp sniffs at your hands for food.
  
  > go to the east
  This room has the air of a gentleman's private study area, though recently it appears to have been taken over by the lady of the house (that is, Sheryl D'Arcy). A hardboard set of shelves against one wall looks completely out of place amid the antique furniture and the gorgeous circular shaped painting on the ceiling. Embroidery rests on a pouffe to one side, and several packs of wool tower alongside the shelves. The front entrance is out to the west, and there is another room to the north.
  
  Scamp is up to mischief here.
  
  Barbara, an aunt of the bride, sits on an armchair with her legs crossed and her hands interlocked.
  
  > show the detector to Barbara
  Barbara examines the water detector carefully. "You might want to keep hold of this - it could be useful."
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a diamond
  a water detector
  a plastic supermarket bag
  a golf ball
  a remote control
  a cash tin box (which is open but empty)
  a small steel key
  a bronze key
  a Battlebase episode guide
  a spade
  a small brass key
  a wedding programme
  
  > show the golf ball to Barbara
  (first taking the golf ball)
  (putting the water detector into the plastic supermarket bag to make room)
  Barbara examines the golf ball carefully. "You might want to play golf with it, if you haven't already."
  
  > show Guide to Barbara
  (first taking the Battlebase episode guide)
  (putting the diamond into the plastic supermarket bag to make room) Barbara examines the Battlebase episode guide carefully. "My daughter, Chloe, is an absolute devotee. Have you asked her about it yet?"
  
  > show the spade to Barbara
  (first taking the spade)
  (putting the golf ball into the plastic supermarket bag to make room) Barbara examines the spade carefully. "Ideal for digging with, I'd say."
  
  > show the remote to Barbara
  (first taking the remote control)
  (putting the Battlebase episode guide into the plastic supermarket bag to make room)
  Barbara examines the remote control carefully. "This is for the television in the drawing room. Chloe might get annoyed if you switch it on, though."
  
  > press the eject on the vcr
  The video recorder spits out a cassette, which lands neatly on the floor.
  
  Static hisses from the television.
  
  > take tape
  (putting the spade into the plastic supermarket bag to make room) Taken.
  
  Static hisses from the television.
  
  > show the tape to Barbara
  Barbara examines the video cassette carefully. "You might want to record something on this."
  
  > look at the box
  (the burglar alarm)
  From here, all you can see is a white box with the name of a security company on it. A blue light flickers intermittently on its side, suggesting that it is active.
  
  The grey sky overhead turns a little darker, threatening rain.
  
  > Go upwards
  You can't go that way.
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.
  
  > ask the guard about the camera
  "Your name's not down, you're not coming in."
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.
  
  > examine the guard
  Gone are the charming doormen of yesteryear, to be replaced by nasty-looking guards from private security firms. This chappy is no different, in his stark navy blue uniform and peaked cap. He seems to have taken a particular dislike to you, though, and watches you carefully, a sneer on his face.
  
  A sudden gust of wind ruffles your hair.