text: [Themes: fan fiction, humor, true story]
  
  You wake up in the water, the sun blazes down upon your face. You search your feeble mind for any memories of how you got here, but you find none. The only thing you can remember is that you are at the coordinates 0,0, off the coast of Africa.
  
  > Swim
  You crawl onto the coast, all of your energy wasted for swimming so long in the hot sun, battling eels, octopi, and jellyfish. But you know what you must do.... You need to do this. Your very existence depends on it.
  
  > You.... SHALL... WALK!!!!
  You must walk... you must... That is all there is to do in this world, that is all you know to do. (besides swim, fight eels, octopi, and jellyfish, and communicate with your constant internal monologue that is me.)
  
  > walk forward
  You take your first steps forward, the stereotypical dramatic sand flows in the wind and seeps between your toes of walking-ness.
  
  You resolutely take a step forward, and then another, and another, and then you stand completely straight, and fall down on your face in an abnormally fast way, like in Family Guy.
  
  You lay there, fuming. You must walk forward. That is your only purpose on this earth. and the stroke you are having WILL NOT STOP YOU! NOTHING will stand in your way! You huff, puff, growl, and convulse madly, and then slam both fists into the ground and yell your battle-cry, your face wrinkled and your teeth half-rotted with over-detailed rage comic exaggeration. Sweat cascades down your reddening face, your growl with determination and slam your right foot into the earth, and enthusiastically raise your left arm into the hot, sticky air.
  
  > POWER WALK!
  You scream and power-walk forth, your eyes flaming, your body heating, you take step after step, the sand melting into glass as you stomp through the desert, you wheeze, you growl, you foam! You rave and rant, but you know you are doing a duty to yourself, to your children, to the whole damn world. You burn through calories with the nuclear heat of four hundred fifty thousand suns, you strain your very soul, your rip muscle from flesh, and burn yourself to your very core. You know you must continue, you must. your speed increases, you begin to glow, the sand melts into a clear liquid glass, like water, and you burst into full on flames, your body glistens in the logic defying sweat that pours from your over-hormonal flesh, and you continue screaming, nonstop, you must continue, you must! THIS IS YOUR ONLY PURPOSE! YOUR LIFE'S WORK! YOU MUST! YOU MUST!
  
  you spew bloody vomit from the depths of your throat, fall to your knees, and die, your rabid mouth-froth hot pink with orangish blood puke, with chunks of cheerios in it.
  
  > DEATH SHALL NOT BE AN OBSTIKAAAAALLLL!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
  You get up, YOU... WILL... NOT... BE.... STOPPED!!! You begin power-walking, faster and more instense than ever, you seep blood from every pore, it dries in the fire, now blue with intensity, you go on, faster and faster, your hear explodes, causing blood to squirt from your throat like a garden hose. you go, on and on, tearing through body fat and burning your muscle, your skinsuit burns away, the ashes of your muscles become a burden, you keep running, your charred skeleton the last remnants of your powerful, stubborn soul, you press into a higher speed, the air itself burns, the glass forming from the sand at your feet steams and boils, your bone marrow boils, the intensity is so intense that you break the speed of light, smashing the earth, slicing the earth, slicing the air, there are not words for the thundrous, explosive noise caused as you run through the blazing air. the world implodes, the universe implodes, the multiverse implodes, you run past the end of infinity, the algorithms running lif istelf divide by zero, causing a massive explosion that creates a second multiverse, but you know better than to look for fellow life forms! YOU MUST WALK FORWARD! YOU NEED TO WALK FORWARD! BLAAAAAGH!!!!
  
  You walk, and walk, and walk, and walk, and walk, and walk, and walk, and walk....
  
  > And walk and walk and walk and walk...
  You awaken from your delusional walking fantasies as the public gym begins to close. It turns out that you were so poorly hydrated that your brain malfunctioned and kept your body from burning muscle instead of fat on your 8 hour expedition. It also gave you such weird visions. You gradually slow down the treadmill before turning it off: you burned the calories equivalent to five pounds of fat! Now you can see your abs and therefore have a chance to attract a significant other that doesn't have splatter face syndrome or otherwise unattractive features! But there is no time to crow over your achievement... yet.... With the last scattered fragments of your dwindling strength, you literally drag yourself to the nearest drinking fountain, and drink from its clear, cold, luscious, nectar. You use its reinvigorating power to stand up, but lose all of its effects, falling forward and busting your skull open on the drinking fountain, which you realized all too late was the ridiculously overpowered drinking fountain of insta-death.
  
  You awaken from your delusional jumping fantasies in a hospital bed. It turns out that you were KO'd of dehydration from over-working yourself in the gym. even worse: you did not actually lose those 5 pounds. a single tear rolls down your cheek as you imagine al that pain you went through, al that burning, all that bleeding, only to be given water and food for 2 hours in an IV. you close your eyes and let go of your weak consciousness.
  
  You awaken from your delusional hospital-staying fantasies in an airplane. (First class accommodation, of course.) It turns out, you were asleep the whole time, and some morons hooked a machine up to you to enter your dreams and put a symbolic pinwheel in your subconscious to keep you from starting a business that would completely overrun some other guy. You decide not to, out of respect for their obscure technique and extreme efforts, and then you get up and leave the plane. you walk (and walk and walk and walk and walk) home, and decide to spin a top on the table to see if you're still dreaming. Just before it can stop-
  
  You awaken from your delusional top-spinning fantasies in a theatre. It turns out that you fell asleep during Inception.
  
  The movie being over, you make your way to the parking lot, but just as you lift your left foot to step off the sidewalk, you realize nothing is under it. You look down to see nothing but a vast expanse of blue ocean 300 feet beneath you. with nothing better to do, you open the GPS setting on your magical, spontaneously phone to look at your coordinates as you fall. Exactly 0,0. You begin to have a headache, realizing and overthinking the massive mindfuck that has just taken place, but then it stops, you hit the water, knocking you out cold...
  
  > Played through all the other paths. End the game here and now!
  This is not necessarily my story, but an adaption of someone else's. Read the first Randomly Walk before you consider commenting negatively.