text: > Go downwards
  The terrain is too rocky that way.
  
  > go west
  You're on a quiet, pleasant suburban street to the west of the city. Somehow, you always knew there would be suburbs in hell. The street is lined with the type of tract housing they built copiously in California in the 1950's: one-story buildings with flat roofs, horizontal lines, lots of windows, and poor construction quality. A drab, faded blue-green house lies to the south, and a mini-mall lies to the north. The street leads east back into the city. To the west, the street fades to a gravel path.
  
  A man whose clothes are on fire is running around in circles, flailing his arms and screaming. He runs off to the east.
  
  > Go east
  You're in the center of Hell's business district. To the north is
  an extremely tall tower, which reaches up into the sky; the top is lost in mist high above. An archway leads south. You can go down the street to the east and west.
  
  A man whose clothes are on fire is running around in circles, flailing his arms and screaming.
  
  > throw the water on the man
  You pour the water onto the burning man, and the flames are immediately extinguished. He looks dazed for a moment, then sees that you're the kind person that did the good deed. "Hey!" he shouts at you. "What did you do that for? Now I've got to go back to work!"
  He fumbles through his pockets. As he does, you notice a small
  metal object drop to the ground. He eventually finds a matchbook in his pocket, and strikes a match; he tries to get his clothes burning again, but they're too wet. "Oh, well, it's no use," he says, and stomps away.
  
  [Your score just went up.]
  
  > unlock the toolbox with the key
  Unlocked.
  
  > read the yellow note
  It's a small piece of yellow paper, with nothing written on it except a series of numbers: 6-24-10.
  
  > open storage with the crowbar
  You jam the crowbar under the compartment door and start prying. After a few moments, you hear a loud snap, and the door pops open. Opening the storage compartment reveals a parachute.
  
  [Your score just went up.]
  
  > Go north
  You're in the parking lot of a suburban mini-mall. The street is to the south. To the east is a store labeled "Just Mirrors", and to the west is The Amulette Shoppe.
  
  > Go east
  You're inside Just Mirrors, which seems to sell just mirrors. Lots
  of mirrors are available for sale. The shopkeeper seems to be a sullen teen, sitting behind the counter trying hard to ignore you. The exit is to the west.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > take the mirror
  You can't afford any of these mirrors.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > ask the teenager about the mirror
  He ignores you.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > Break mirrors
  You'll have to tell me how to do that.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > hit the teenager with the crowbar
  Attacking the sullen teen doesn't appear productive.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > examine the counter
  There's nothing on the counter.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > look behind the counter
  There's nothing behind the counter.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > buy the mirror
  I don't know how to buy the mirror.
  
  The teenager taps his fingers nervously on the counter and tries to avoid eye contact with you.
  
  > ask the shopkeeper about the amulets
  "I have a very nice selection of authentic reproductions of actual amulets. Of course, these amulets don't have the magical protective powers of the real amulets, but they make very nice jewelry."
  
  > look at the amulet
  The display cases contain a number of different amulets. Most look like they're to be worn around the neck: one is a big gold disk with complex etchings; a second one is a clear, light blue jewel stone; a third is an ivory carving of a boat. Some look like other types of jewelry: one is a simple silver ring, and another is a bracelet.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You have a printed note, a rope, a dead light bulb, a toolbox, a portable radio, a bucket, a pitchfork, a small metal key, and a parachute (being worn). The toolbox seems to contain a crowbar and a yellow note.
  
  > examine disk
  It's a large gold disk with complex etchings. The pattern of etchings resembles a starburst: a central circle with lines radiating. The disk is attached to a gold chain, for wearing the amulet around the neck.
  
  > ask the shopkeeper about the disk
  "This is a replica of an amulet that is said to provide protection against great heat. I think the story is that it resembles the Sun, which is the source of all heat. This one's been sold."
  
  > ask the shopkeeper about the blue jewel
  "This is a very nice jewel, don't you think? The amulet that it's based upon supposedly provides protection against extreme cold. The jewel looks a little like a block of ice, you see. This one's been sold."
  
  > ask the shopkeeper about the boat
  "This is real ivory, which is very hard to find these days. The original amulet was said to provide protection against sickness. I think the idea is that you might become ill in a rowboat. This one's been sold."
  
  > ask the shopkeeper about the ring
  "This was is supposed to provide protection against blinding light.
  I'm not sure why it's a ring. This one's been sold."
  
  > ask the shopkeeper about the bracelet
  "The original amulet upon which this is based is said to provide protection against deafening sound. This one's been sold."
  
  > go south
  You're in the poorly-tended, mostly dead yard of a house that lies
  to the south. Now that you're closer to the house, you can see just how poorly built the house really is: the primary building material seems to be cardboard stapled onto a rotting wooden frame. The cardboard is ill-fitting and poorly aligned, leaving large gaps here and there. You can enter the house to the south, and you can leave the yard to the north.
  
  > Go south
  As you start to open the door, you suddenly realize that it was locked. However, the construction quality of the house is so poor that the door pops open anyway.
  
  You're in an old, dilapidated kitchen. The appliances are all
  ancient and appear to be in poor condition; the linoleum floor has large gashes here and there where the plastic is curled back. There's a sink, with a small cabinet underneath. An exit leads north out into the yard, and passages lead west and south.
  You see a paper recycling bin here.
  
  > examine bin
  It's a blue plastic bin, labeled "Paper", with the familiar recycling symbol underneath. There's nothing in the paper recycling bin.
  
  > examine the sink
  It looks like an ordinary sink to me.
  
  > open the cabinet
  Opening the cabinet reveals a pair of rubber gloves.
  
  > examine the gloves
  It looks like an ordinary pair of rubber gloves to me.
  
  > go to the west
  You're in the dining room, which isn't really a separate room but
  just the northwest corner of the living room. A table dominates the area. A six-foot partition separates the dining room and living room from the kitchen, which is to the east (evidently, building a wall all the way up to the ceiling would have been too expensive). The living room lies to the south.
  Sitting on the table is some junk mail.
  
  > read the mail
  It's one of those obvious pieces of junk mail that's been made up to look like something important, with phrases such as "Extremely Urgent!" and "Dated Material!" and "Super-Express-Gram" stamped on the outside, but addressed to "Resident (Deceased)". The letter reads:
  
  Hello, Decedent!
  
  Are you tired of the banality of everyday death in Hell? Have you been to Heaven, but couldn't stand the boring "cultural" activities? Do you long for the danger and excitement that you had when you were alive?
  
  Then join the Hades Explorers' Society!
  
  In the HES, we go to the parts of the underworld that ordinary people have never heard of, and we perform amazing feats that others wouldn't dream of, then we get together in our luxurious clubhouse and exchange stories over fine imported cognac and brandy.
  
  Because of your excellent credit history, you're PRE-APPROVED for membership in the HES. All you need to do is to bring the enclosed Certificate of Invitation to our Headquarters.
  
  As far as we're concerned, you're as good as joined. However, there's one catch. The way to our headquarters is guarded by an evil Troll. The Troll will let none pass except for card-carrying members of the HES, or those who the Troll believes are worthy of membership. The Troll unfortunately does not read, so the enclosed certificate will not help you. Instead, you must prove yourself an accomplished Adventurer by bringing the Troll a great treasure. For this we can offer you no guidance, but if you are truly an Adventurer, you will be up to the quest.
  
  Good luck! We look forward to welcoming you!
  
  A piece of paper that was attached to the letter falls out onto the table. You see that it's the Certificate of Invitation.
  
  > look at the table
  On the table you see some junk mail.
  
  > Go south
  You're in the living room, which is long and narrow, with a brick fireplace on the south wall; next to the fireplace is a tool holder. A six-foot partition to the north separates the living room and kitchen. The northwest corner of the room serves as the dining room. A hallway leads east.
  
  > read Certificate
  It's an elaborate certificate, personalized in frilly script letters for "BEARER", certifying that the named individual has been pre-approved for membership in the Hades Explorers' Society and all of the privileges and responsibilities pertaining thereunto.
  
  > examine holder
  It's a black metal caddy for holding fireplace tools. It has space for three specific tools. In the fireplace tool holder you see a poker, a brush, and a shovel.
  
  > examine the poker
  It's a black wrought-iron fireplace poker. It's about half an inch in diameter, and a couple of feet long.
  
  > examine the brush
  It's a black brush with a two-foot metal handle, useful for sweeping ashes out of a fireplace.
  
  > look at the shovel
  It's a small black shovel with a two-foot metal handle, useful for collecting ashes out of a fireplace.
  
  > take all from the holder
  poker: Taken.
  brush: Taken.
  shovel: Taken.
  
  > go to the east
  You're in a short hallway connecting the bedrooms to the living room and kitchen area. The kitchen lies to the north, the living room is to the west, and the hall continues to the east.
  
  > go east
  You're at the east end of the hall. Bedrooms are to the east and south, and a bathroom is to the north. The hall continues to the west.
  
  > go to the east
  You're in a large bedroom that's set up as an office. In the center
  of the room is a large desk, on which is a personal computer and a big pile of paper.
  The hallway lies to the west.
  Sitting on the desk is a pencil sharpener, a bag of Cheese-Doodles,
  and an empty can of ToxiCola.
  A programmer is sitting in front of the computer, looking at a screenful of C code.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > look at the programmer
  You can tell just looking at him that he does nothing but program all day: he looks pale, even for a dead guy, and he's dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the canonical uniform of the software developer. Clipped to one of his pockets is a small plastic card.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > look at the card
  You can't get a very good look (not without being impolite, at least). You can see "INFERNOLAB" spelled out in large letters.
  
  The programmer makes a few notes on some scratch paper.
  
  > look at the notes
  There's pieces of scratch paper spread out all over the desk, except for the half of the desk occupied by the computer. Some of the pieces have a bunch of hex numbers with little arrows next to them; others have strange maps consisting of little squares (each with a label such as "Hall East") connected by lines, and others have lists with about half of the items crossed off and the other half squeezed into the last inch at the top of the page.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > examine the screen
  It's a personal computer with the traditional accoutrements: mouse, keyboard, monitor, and system CPU unit. The screen is displaying a bunch of C code.
  
  The programmer types a bunch of code into the computer.
  
  > examine the code
  It doesn't shed much light on what to do next.
  
  The programmer makes a few notes on some scratch paper.
  
  > read the card
  I don't know how to read the ID card.
  
  The programmer makes a few notes on some scratch paper.
  
  > ask the programmer for the card
  I don't think the programmer could give that to you.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > take the card
  The programmer is carrying the ID card and won't let you have it.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > read code
  It doesn't shed much light on what to do next.
  
  The programmer types a bunch of code into the computer.
  
  > examine the sharpener
  It's an electric pencil sharpener. It has a pencil-sized hole on one end. There's also a small compartment (which is closed).
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > open compartment
  Which compartment do you mean, the radio compartment, or the sharpener compartment?
  
  > Sharpener
  Opening the sharpener compartment reveals an Infern-O-Vac battery.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > examine the battery
  It's an Infern-O-Vac type HH battery.
  
  The programmer types a bunch of code into the computer.
  
  > ask the programmer about the code
  "I'd love to chat, but I'm busy."
  
  The programmer types a bunch of code into the computer.
  
  > take the sharpener
  Taken.
  
  The programmer makes a few notes on some scratch paper.
  
  > look at the desk
  It's a very large desk, perhaps six feet wide by three feet deep, made from dark wood and done in Danish Modern style. One half of the desk is occupied by a computer, and most of the rest of the desk is covered with papers. The desk has a drawer, which is closed. On the desk you see a bag of Cheese-Doodles and an empty can of ToxiCola.
  
  The programmer makes a few notes on some scratch paper.
  
  > open the drawer
  The programmer stops you. "Hey! Leave that alone! What do you think? That this is your own private hell?"
  
  The programmer makes a few notes on some scratch paper.
  
  > examine the doodles
  There's nothing in the bag of Cheese-Doodles.
  
  The programmer types a bunch of code into the computer.
  
  > look at the can
  It looks like an ordinary empty can of ToxiCola to me.
  
  The programmer looks pensively at the screen.
  
  > go to the north
  You're in a small bathroom. In the center of a room is a sink, and over the sink is a medicine cabinet (which is closed). The exit is to the south.
  
  > open the cabinet
  You try to open it, but it's stuck.
  
  > open the cabinet with the crowbar
  The jammed frame creaks and moans, but it's no match for the crowbar, and it quickly opens with a loud cracking sound. As it comes open, the mirror suddenly snaps out of the frame, and and crashes down onto the sink. Glass flies everywhere.
  The programmer walks in, evidently having heard the commotion. "It looks like you tried to open the medicine cabinet," he says. "I should have warned you about that. It's yet another of the high-quality accessories of this house. The mirror always pops out when the medicine cabinet is opened."
  He walks out, and returns with a broom. "I'll have to go get
  another mirror," he says as he sweeps up the glass. "I'll just be a few minutes. There's a mirror store right across the street."
  
  [Your score just went up.]
  
  The programmer travels out into the hall.
  
  > go south
  A programmer is here.
  
  The programmer travels west down the hall.
  
  > Go east
  Sitting on the desk is a bag of Cheese-Doodles and an empty can of ToxiCola.
  
  > open the drawer
  Opening the drawer reveals a pencil.
  
  > examine it
  It's a standard number 2 pencil. It's brand new, and hasn't been sharpened yet.
  
  > sharpen pencil
  (with the pencil sharpener)
  The pencil sharpener doesn't do anything. You withdraw the pencil from the hole and find it exactly as sharp as when you inserted it.
  
  > open the radio compartment
  Opening the radio compartment reveals a DuraHell battery.
  
  > put durahell battery in the sharpener compartment
  Done.
  
  > sharpen the pencil
  (with the pencil sharpener)
  The pencil sharpener whirs for several seconds as you feed the pencil in. You take the pencil out and find it sharpened and ready for writing.
  
  > close the drawer
  Closed.
  
  > Go west
  The programmer walks into the room.
  
  > Go north
  The programmer walks in carrying a new mirror. He carefully pops the mirror into the frame and closes the medicine cabinet. "I'll have to get this medicine cabinet fixed at some point," he says.
  
  > Go south
  You're in a small bedroom. The room is almost entirely filled by
  the bed. The hall is to the north.
  Sitting on the bed is a pillow and a bedspread.
  
  > look at it
  It looks like an ordinary pillow to me.
  
  > examine the bed
  The bed almost fills the room. On the bed you see a bedspread.
  
  > examine the bedspread
  It looks like an ordinary bedspread to me.
  
  > look under bed
  You find a dollar bill! It's too bad that US currency is totally useless in this game.
  
  > take the bill
  You already have the dollar bill!
  
  > examine the bill
  It looks like real United States currency. You can't imagine how it got into this game.
  
  > open the cabinet with the crowbar
  The jammed frame creaks and moans, but it's no match for the crowbar, and it quickly opens with a loud cracking sound. As it comes open, the mirror suddenly snaps out of the frame, and lands gently on the pillow.
  
  [Your score just went up.]
  
  > examine the mirror
  It's a small mirror, about two feet by a foot and a half.
  
  > climb the railing
  With a little effort, you manage to climb up into the rails.
  
  > examine the panel
  It's only about one foot by one foot square. It's currently open. Through the hole, you can see a room below. The room seems to consist of a series of small cubicles, each separated by a six-foot-high partition. Each cubicle contains a chair and a desk. In most of the cubicles, a person is occupying the chair.
  South of the cubicles is a large, white room, in which a number of people in white labcoats are moving about, consulting with one another and writing notes on the clipboards they're carrying.
  
  > put the mirror on the panel
  The mirror fits well over the opening, covering the hole entirely.
  
  > go south
  One of the scientists recognizes you, and walks over. "You're back
  for another try, are you? Well, we normally don't like to use the same subjects multiple times, since it can throw off the results, but given your pathetic performance last time, I suppose that it can't do much harm. It's not like you'll have any sort of advantage over the other subjects!" She lets out a little laugh -- actually, it's more like a snort -- then turns serious again. "Anyway, we're about to begin another experiment, so if you'll have a seat, we will proceed." She walks away.
  
  > go north
  One of the tellers waves you over to his window. "Can I help you?" he asks.
  
  The teller looks at you expectantly.
  
  > read the check
  I don't know how to read the check.
  
  The teller looks at you expectantly.
  
  > give the check to the teller
  "Thank you," the teller says, accepting the check and looking it over carefully. "I'll need to see your Driver's License, please."
  
  The teller looks at you expectantly.
  
  > take the check
  Taken.
  
  The teller looks at you expectantly.
  
  > Go west
  You're on a gravel path that leads east and west. The terrain is growing quite dry and rocky to the west; the air is too dusty to see very far west. A small wooden sign is posted here.
  
  > read the sign
  You are now entering the Hell Nature Preserve. This
  area has been set aside to preserve a small part of
  Hell in its original state, as it was before urbanization
  transformed Hell into what we know today. Please don't
  litter -- keep Hell beautiful!
  
  After reading the sign, you notice that someone has flagrantly violated the plea not to litter -- someone has carelessly tossed a cigarette box on the ground here.
  
  > Examine box
  Which box do you mean, the toolbox, or the cigarette box?
  
  > Cigarette
  In the cigarette box you see a cigarette.
  
  > Go west
  You're on the east edge of a desolate plain. The ground is
  hard-packed sand covered with small, sharp rocks. The plain extends to the west as far as the eye can see. You notice that you can see for a very long distance; the ground does not seem to have any curvature at all, and there is no distinct horizon. Only sheer distance seems to obscure your view of what may be an infinite plain.
  You can see a red glow to the north, and the city lies back to the east. The plain stretches off without any distinguishing features in all other directions.
  
  > Go north
  You are on a vast, desolate plain. The ground is hot here; steam
  rises from cracks in the dry soil, and the warm, damp air smells strongly of sulfur. The area is littered with debris: decaying bones of strange animals, broken parts from ancient machinery, pools of tar and oil. The plain continues off in all directions; it was somewhat more pleasant to the south. A bright red glow comes from the north.
  
  > examine the bones
  The bones are of no animals you've ever seen. Some of them look almost human, but not quite. As you look more closely, you notice a human-looking skeleton underneath some of the strange animal bones.
  
  > examine the skeleton
  You can't see much; it's mostly covered by the strange animal bones.
  
  > take the skeleton
  You can't get to the skeleton; it's covered by the strange animal bones.
  
  > remove the bones
  As your hand approaches the pile of bones, bright blue electric arcs jump toward you. You jump back in pain as the electricity shoots through your body.
  
  > remove the bones
  As your hand approaches the pile of bones, bright blue electric arcs jump toward you, but the rubber gloves provide some protection. As you start to move the pile, it collapses, and sparks fly throughout the pile. You jump back from the fireworks. Once the smoke has cleared, you see that a human skeleton has been uncovered.
  
  > examine the skeleton
  The skeleton has been stripped of flesh; only the bright white bones remain. You notice that the skeleton's bony hand is clutching a small card.
  
  > take the card
  Taken.
  
  [Your score just went up.]
  
  > look at the card
  It's an appointment card for a driver's license test. It doesn't seem to specify a time or date; it's probably good any time.
  
  > examine the machinery
  Most of the parts are gigantic, some standing several feet high. The parts are all made of dark, rough metals that look like wrought iron; they have myriad sharp protrusions and appendages. You can't imagine what these parts are or what machines they come from.