text: Ah the basement. The refuge of all who refuse to move out of the house for whatever reason.
  
  Some of them are dreamers who just can't fit into proper society.
  
  Some of them have potential, but due to personality quirks fame has escaped them.
  
  And finally 99% of them are just downright pathetic losers that just fail at life.
  
  So choose one of these basement dwellers and enjoy the desperation and horror of their tales! You may come to find that they are just like you. In fact chances are, you'll think someone wrote a biography about you!
  
  > The Good Girl (This one's for the ladies! AWWW YEAH!)
  You wake up to another day in your sheltered little world.
  
  "Sheltered" is probably a little inaccurate, but you're about as close as you can get in your dysfunctional family.
  
  Your upbringing for you and all your siblings, quite frankly sucked, and it made you very introverted and unmotivated. It's probably why you're over 18 and still living at home.
  
  You're a basement dweller.
  
  However we shouldn't be too hard on you. Your other four siblings are also living at home along with a few other freeloading family members. You just happen to be living in the basement.
  
  Fucked up parenting aside, you actually have potential, if you'd just break out of your shell. You aren't unintelligent. You at least graduated high school, watch the learning/history channel and read weird shit on the internet all day.
  
  You aren't even unattractive, though your mom always drilled it into you and your sisters head that you were always to be "good girls". It only really worked on you though; as a result you've never had a boyfriend. (Or girlfriend for that matter) You don't even have that much contact with the world outside your house anymore. The world's a dangerous place and you feel much safer in your house.
  
  Again, this thinking of yours is misguided as being out of the house of your crazy ass family would probably be a lot safer. Of course you rarely even leave the basement nowadays anyway. Seems like your world is getting smaller with each passing day.
  
  Of course you could do something a little out of the ordinary today and try to change your lot in life.
  
  How about it? Want to give it that old college try? (Even though you never went to college?)
  
  > Sure you'll give it a go
  That's the spirit! I knew you had it in you!
  
  Okay so you're feeling uncharacteristically motivated today, that's a start, but where exactly you're going to begin is another question.
  
  Getting a job might be the way to go, but you have no idea what you might be qualified for. You could go to a family member for help or your old friend the internet as usual.
  
  > ask your older sister Kelly
  It's probably not the best pick of all possible choices, but Kelly is the only one who has a real job and constantly working. Surely she'd be in the best position to help you, though even now you're shuddering of what you might have to put up with to gain her help, even if she choices to do so.
  
  Cautiously you head to her room where you find her resting on her bed with her eyes closed.
  
  "Go away Peter! I told you before you're NOT doing a documentary on me!" Kelly says without looking up.
  "Uh, it's not Peter, it's me Suzy."
  
  Kelly instantly sits up to take notice of this revelation. She doesn't make a move towards you, but it's obvious she isn't happy about you disturbing her. You haven't been out of the basement for awhile, so you haven't seen here lately, but Kelly is sporting some heavy duty scars and looking a little more muscular than when you last saw.
  
  "You? What the fuck do you want? Get out." Kelly demands
  "But I just want to talk to you for a moment about something."
  "You deaf or just fucking stupid? Bitch I said get out!"
  "But I wanted advice on how to get a job."
  "(Snort) You want a job? Little Miss priss wants to get a job? I can't believe I'm hearing this! Ha ha! Do you even have any skills? Shit, you're still a virgin. You probably wouldn't even make a good whore. Just go back to the basement and hide out from the real world. It's what you're best at."
  
  You pause for a moment before answering.
  
  "Why have you always so mean to me? I've never done anything to you."
  "Oh no? You were Mom's perfect little angel that did what she was told and never had to do anything more than that. Me? I got nothing, but shit from Mom, just because I wasn't what her so called standard of womanhood was supposed to be. Yet I also had to do most of the work around here as well as look out for you to make sure someone didn't rape your naïve ass. Your mere existence did something to me!"
  "Mom was just trying to instill guidelines for how we should behave. She was just looking out for us. What's wrong with that?"
  "Yeah, yeah, and following her guidelines has really served you well eh? A complete fucking recluse that can't function on her own."
  
  > point out her faults
  You've had enough of your older sister's abuse, you're going to stand up to her.
  
  "Yeah well at least I'm not some 'roid dyke still whining about how Mom never approved of them."
  
  For a brief moment your sister can't believe that you've actually stood up to her. Perhaps if you'd done that in the past she might've respected you more. However, now she just sees it as a threat to her position and one that needs to be squashed before you get even more uppity.
  
  Kelly springs from the bed and grabs your arm before you can run out her room. When you attempt to fight back, it only makes her angrier. Her next step is to break it in three places and drop kick you in the face. She then takes your battered body, gets on the bed, jumps off it and pile drives you into the floor, breaking your neck instantly. At this point you're already dead, but your sister proceeds to torment your corpse with physical abuse for about fifteen more minutes until she finally realizes she's killed you.