text: [Themes: Satire, Fantasy]
  
  > Wake figure
  Let it sleep just a little longer. (Try something stupid, get a stupid response.
  
  > go west
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  You've obviously stumbled into a vast, uncharted underworld. (Big surprise.)  Could the fair Amanda have passed this way? Though you entered these caverns through the tombs, the footprints from the lake did lead back into the swamps; perhaps Amanda found another way down here. Only exploration will truly tell the tale. Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  > look at the gazebo
  The gazebo is perhaps twenty feet high, with a tiny steeple on top. In the steeple, you can just make out a bell hanging from the roof. The gazebo is at the west end of the cavern. [15]
  
  > Note 15
  [15]: This is NOT the same as the gazebo in 'Horror of Rylvania!' It's entirely different! All-new code! Honest!
  
  > examine the steeple
  It looks like an ordinary steeple to me.
  
  > examine the moss
  The beds of moss and fungi cover the floor of the chamber. It's a sea of colors - reds, greens, blues.
  
  > Go west
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  A long rope is attached to the bell, the other end dangling just
  above the floor. You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  > look at the rope
  The rope hangs down from above; it appears to be attached to the bell overhead.
  
  > examine the bell
  The bell hangs high overhead; you can't see it very well.
  
  > climb the rope
  You shinny partway up the rope. The bell rings loudly as you pull on the rope, resounding through the cavern and sending vibrations along the rope. Your hands sting from the shocks, and you drop to the ground. You're not getting up there that way.
  
  > ring bell
  Bong! The clear, deep tone of the bell resounds through the cavern.
  
  > jump
  Wheeee!
  
  > Go east
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  > go to the north
  You are standing in a chamber cut from dark obsidian. Somehow, you feel at peace here. Obviously, this is some kind of temple to one of the gods of ancient Ul. Patterned mosaics cover the floor, and the black walls are streaked with swirls of white marble.
  
  A simple, featureless altar made from dark gray granite is built
  into the northern wall. Above the altar, some writing has been carved into the black stones. Identical passages run south, east, and west.
  
  There's an old monk here, seated on the altar. He looks like he
  hasn't slept or eaten in days, and appears to be very distressed. He glances up as you enter. "Welcome, Valley Warrior."
  
  > look at the monk
  The old monk looks quite unhappy. He hasn't shaven in some time, and his robes are tattered and filthy. He stares at you sorrowfully.
  
  > ask monk about the monk
  The monk shrugs. "Only Duhdha knows for sure."
  
  > ask the monk about Duhdha
  A fleeting grin crosses the monk's wan face. "Why, it's an image of the great Duhdha!"
  
  > examine the altar
  A sad old monk is sitting on the altar, chin in his hands.
  
  > examine the mosaics
  You recognize some of the images as icons of the ancient Duhdhist religion. This must be a temple of that long-forgotten god.
  
  > show the figurine to the monk
  The monk smiles. "I already have one, my child. Keep it; your carrying of Duhdha's image sets a good eggsample for your fellow warriors."
  
  > ask monk about the altar
  The monk pats the hard stone. "Duhdha lies in the world beyond, great Warrior. But you do not believe."
  
  > Go west
  You're in a tiny room that's not much more than a stone closet. It probably serves as the vestry for the temple. The only exit is back to the east. There's a set of hooks on the western wall.
  
  A robe is hanging on the hooks.
  
  > examine the robe
  The robe is cream-colored and stained with brown splotches. It's rather tattered - between the stains, a few rips, and one half-torn pocket, it's not worth much.
  
  > examine the pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a black stone.
  
  > examine the stone
  The black stone is quite small. Now that you look at it, you realize it's made out of plastic. It seems to be magnetic as well.
  
  > Go east
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. A rusty oven stands against the east wall. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  shelf.
  
  > examine the oven
  The oven's a rusty piece of junk. I doubt it's been used for years. It's also stone cold. I think the pilot light's gone out. There's a few scuff marks around the base of the oven. The oven is closed.
  
  > open it
  Opened.
  
  > look in the oven
  The oven's a rusty piece of junk. I doubt it's been used for years. It's also stone cold. I think the pilot light's gone out. There's a few scuff marks around the base of the oven. The oven is open.
  There's nothing in the oven.
  
  > look at shelf
  On the wooden shelf you see a small cardboard box and a cookbook.
  
  > look at the box
  The box is garishly decorated with mauve, orange, and green stars. Bright purple lettering on the front reads "Acme Sorta-Yehlo Ehg Suhb-sti-toot Miks: A Dam Tastee Pahrt oph this Compleet Brekfhast.
  No cholesterol!" The box is, thankfully, closed.
  
  > Examine cookbook
  The title of the cookbook is "101 Damn Tasty Egg Recipes."
  
  > show the box to the monk
  "That is not unto my stomach as I am to God," the monk mutters angrily. "What need have I of such worldly tripe?"
  
  > Drop box and cookbook
  small cardboard box: Dropped.
  cookbook: Dropped.
  
  > go south
  bedrock of the land. The walls are close around you, and tons of rock hang over your head. Luckily, enclosed spaces don't bother you - only heights do. Passages run north, east, and southwest. All are about the same width and height; none looks more well-traveled than any other.
  
  > go to the east
  You're standing in a circular room at the edge of a deep pit. A
  ledge runs around the room, above the pit. Being here makes your stomach churn; the pit's quite deep, and your fear of heights is as strong as ever. [7]  An iron hook is embedded in one of the walls.
  The only exit from the room is a passage back through the rock to the west. Below, in the pit, you can see what appears to be a baby dragon. It looks up at you briefly, then trips over its tail and falls down with a loud squeak.
  
  > examine hook
  The hook's firmly stuck in the wall. I don't think you can get it out.
  
  > examine Dragon
  The baby dragon is not exactly small - it probably weighs more than you do. But it is quite cute. As you watch, it trips over its own feet and goes flying in a great tangle of claws and tail. [16]
  
  > Note 16
  [16]: This rather clumsy dragon is MUCH larger by the time of "Unnkulian Unventure II: The Secret of Acme."
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  > Go west
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  A long rope is attached to the bell, the other end dangling just
  above the floor. You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  > cut the rope with the sword
  I don't think cutting the rope is a good idea; you might need the whole piece later.
  
  > get the rope
  You can't untie the rope from down here; the other end is attached to the bell, some twenty feet overhead.
  
  > examine stalactites
  Strange, colorful veins of minerals spiral through the pillars of rock, sparkling in the light.
  
  > examine the shadows
  The shadows are probably just from the lamplight hitting the rock formations in the cave.
  
  > examine the crevices
  The crevices are uninteresting. You most certainly can't fit inside them, if that's what your thinking.
  
  > Go southwest
  You are standing in a square chamber carved from the rock. The
  eastern wall of the chamber is made from what appears to be transparent glass - and through it, you can see water and what must be the muddy bottom of Lake Draounheer! Somehow, you've gotten around to the western side of the lake. Perhaps if you strain your eyes, you might make out the King's Lake View room on the other side - but no; the lake is too wide, and the waters too muddy. Identical passages run northeast, northwest, west, and south. To the north is a thick steel door, which is closed. A sign hangs just above the glass wall.
  
  > examine the sign
  The sign's made of wood, and embedded in the stone wall. It reads as follows:
  "Poppa Ul Memorial Lodge - Members Only! Exits northeast and south. Sauna north. Gym northwest. Reading room west. Equipment furnished by Acme."
  
  > examine the glass
  The wall's not like the one in the King's lake view room. It's quite strong, and has a much different feel to it - almost rubbery to the touch. Through the glass, you can see a few fish swimming along the bottom of the lake. Tiny raised letters run along the bottom of the wall. They read, "Wowsa Willy's Wonder Wall."
  
  > examine the door
  The steel door is closed. It's warm to the touch.
  
  > Go west
  This chamber's walls are covered in tacky stained purple and green wooden panelling. It's not exactly what I would call peaceful, but there is a comfortable chair (upholstered in bright orange) and, on the western wall, a bookshelf. In some ways, the room is kind of like an evil twin of the King's library back in the Valley. The only exit is back to the east.
  
  A brown book, a yellow paperback, a black book, a blue book, and a white paperback are sitting on the shelf.
  
  > examine the panelling
  It's quite tacky, made from fiberboard and asbestos and stained with lead paint. Tiny lettering along the bottom of one wall reads "Acme Hoam Improovmint Deevishun."
  
  > look at chair
  The chair looks quite comfortable, though it is completely hideous.
  
  > examine the shelf
  On the shelf you see a brown book, a yellow paperback, a black book, a blue book, and a white paperback.
  
  > examine the brown
  The book's cover is made of leather and embossed with gold letters that read "Ulian to Valley-Tongue Dictionary."
  
  > read it
  Thoroughly reading the dictionary would take more time than you have. It might be useful if you have to translate something, though. [17]
  
  > 17
  [17]: Something fun to do is to try counting the dictionary (and other things in the game as well.)
  
  > count the dictionary
  There is one (1) dictionary. It contains forty-three thousand, eight hundred and fifty-five (43,855) words.
  
  > examine the yellow
  It's number forty-three in the "Don Martyr of Cars" series. You've got a copy at home, a much nicer edition. I think the cover of this one's made from cheez (tm).
  
  > examine the black
  Which black do you mean, the black book, or the black stone?
  
  > Book
  The black book is quite heavy and trimmed with gold leaf. The title is "A History Of Ancient Ul - W. Willy"
  
  > read it
  You start reading the book, opening to a page at random.
  
  " - and Poppa Ul led his people for many, many years - wearing the magic crown of Ul, he lived for well over two centuries.
  But his evil brother Unk Ul slew him, and stole the crown, and led
  his mercenaries west of Lake Draounheer. In the chaos that followed the death of Great Ul, Kuul, son of Ul, took the remnants of the Ulians to the wooded valley to the east of the lake. One day, he vowed, he would lead the people of Ul against the evil Unk's Ulians and their dread demons - and recover the crown of his father.
  
  And he did, and there was much rejoicing. The people praised Duhdha and built many temples to their prophet who had seen them through the days of strife. And the priests of these temples were called by a name that honored of the great Kuul son of Ul, the first Valley King. And his children shall wear the crown, and each shall rule for centuries, and forever keep at bay the evil Unk's Ulians."
  
  You stop reading and glance at the copyright date. The book was published in 390 VK, only fifty-seven years ago! Could the great Wowsa Willy still have been alive then?
  
  > look at the blue
  The blue book's cover says "Myths of Ancient Ul."
  
  > read it
  "The Story of the Ghostly Smith -
  
  Some say that Poppa Ul's mighty blacksmith Pyter still lives in the hallowed Ulian halls. Pyter killed himself when he realized he had cut down the very last tree west of Lake Draounheer to fuel his crucible. Now, the legend goes, Pyter sits in his forge, sharpening his axe, waiting for the day when he can make the flames rise once again and forge the jewelry and weapons that made the name of Poppa Ul famous far and wide."
  
  > look at the white
  The book's cover says "Cradle to Grave." It's a science fiction novel by D. A. Leary. (It's also a shameless plug.)
  
  > read it
  Though it's probably one of the best books you'd ever choose to read, you don't really have time right now. [18]
  
  > Note 18
  [18]: Unpublished at the time of game publication (bummer!)
  
  > Go east
  You are standing in a square chamber carved from the rock. The
  eastern wall of the chamber is made from what appears to be transparent glass - and through it, you can see water and what must be the muddy bottom of Lake Draounheer! Somehow, you've gotten around to the western side of the lake. Perhaps if you strain your eyes, you might make out the King's Lake View room on the other side - but no; the lake is too wide, and the waters too muddy. Identical passages run northeast, northwest, west, and south. To the north is a thick steel door, which is closed. A sign hangs just above the glass wall.
  
  > go east
  You're standing in an ancient chamber inside the burial mound. High above your head, the muddy hole you dug beckons you - but there's no way to reach it. The walls of the chamber are hard-packed sod, but the floor is solid stone, good Unnkulian granite. A massive stone coffin stands in the very center of the room. The only exit from the chamber is a narrow passage sloping down to the west, vanishing into darkness.
  
  > read the writing
  "Here lies Ul - Beloved Poppa of All Ulians."
  
  > go north
  You are standing in a chamber cut from dark obsidian. Somehow, you feel at peace here. Obviously, this is some kind of temple to one of the gods of ancient Ul. Patterned mosaics cover the floor, and the black walls are streaked with swirls of white marble.
  
  A simple, featureless altar made from dark gray granite is built
  into the northern wall. Above the altar, some writing has been carved into the black stones. Identical passages run south, east, and west.
  
  You see a small cardboard box and a cookbook here.
  
  There's an old monk here, seated on the altar. He looks like he
  hasn't slept or eaten in days, and appears to be very distressed. He glances up as you enter. "Welcome, Valley Warrior."
  
  > read the writing
  Using your dictionary, you translate the ancient legend -
  
  "Yea, verily, and the disciples did go unto the Great Duhdha. 'Give us your wisdom, O Wise One!' they clamored. 'Go away,' replied Duhdha. Yea, verily, and his followers did lament and weep, loudly and for an extremely long time. 'All right all ready!' Duhdha cried - for he could no longer bear their suffering. 'What wisdom do you guys seek - er, seeketh?'
  'Tell us how to behave, O Wise One!' the followers shouted. 'How
  to behave, what to do, what to eat - '
  'What to eat?' Duhdha said. Yea, verily, and Duhdha's brow did
  furrow as he searched for wisdom. 'Let me see - something quite unhealthy, that'll make you all die off quicker. Something with a lot of cholestorol. Ah ha! Of course! Eat eggs, my followers, because, er - ' And Duhdha paused, seeking the proper enlightening words. 'An egg is unto our stomachs as we are to God! Yeah, that's it!'"
  
  The legend abruptly ends.
  
  > ask the monk about the egg
  The monk perks up and stares at you, eyes wide. "Where?" he asks.
  
  > count the fish
  There is one (1) fish.
  
  > go northwest
  linoleum. The chamber is featureless; only the contents suggest what the room might have been used for. The only exit is back to the southeast.
  
  You see a trampoline and a barbell here.
  
  > examine the trampoline
  It's rather large and heavy-looking. It would probably be fun to jump on it. Tiny letters printed on the surface read "Acme Dam Bownsee Tram-poh-leen."
  
  > examine the barbell
  The barbell is made from solid iron and (of course) is quite heavy.
  You could really get a good workout lifting that sucker.
  
  > Lift barbell
  You work out with the weights for a while. (Grunt - strain - urk) A Valley Warrior can never be too strong, after all!
  
  > keep going
  You're already kind of sore from your last workout.
  
  > go southeast
  You are standing in a square chamber carved from the rock. The
  eastern wall of the chamber is made from what appears to be transparent glass - and through it, you can see water and what must be the muddy bottom of Lake Draounheer! Somehow, you've gotten around to the western side of the lake. Perhaps if you strain your eyes, you might make out the King's Lake View room on the other side - but no; the lake is too wide, and the waters too muddy. Identical passages run northeast, northwest, west, and south. To the north is a thick steel door, which is closed. A sign hangs just above the glass wall.
  
  > Go northeast
  bedrock of the land. The walls are close around you, and tons of rock hang over your head. Luckily, enclosed spaces don't bother you - only heights do. Passages run north, east, and southwest. All are about the same width and height; none looks more well-traveled than any other.
  
  > Go east
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. A rusty oven stands against the east wall. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  > pull the oven
  You move the oven away from the east wall, into the center of the room, revealing a narrow passage to the east!
  
  > go to the east
  You're carrying too much to fit through the narrow passageway.
  
  > drop all
  brass lamp: Dropped.
  thin wand: Dropped.
  bronze ring: (Taking off the bronze ring first)
  Dropped.
  sword: Dropped.
  pair of erasers: Dropped.
  handful of radberries: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  trowel: Dropped.
  spade: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  brown book: Dropped.
  
  > go east
  You squeeze through the narrow tunnel, and find yourself -
  
  It's pitch black.
  
  > go to the east
  You squeeze through the narrow tunnel, and find yourself -
  
  You're standing in a rough-hewn cave at the top of a long-forgotten mine shaft. A thick vein of gold ore runs diagonally across the east wall, glowing in the pale green lamplight. A narrow squeeze runs west, but you're not going to get through there if you're carrying a lot. To the south, the deep mine shaft runs down. Mudslides and rockfalls have taken their toll, and the shaft is slippery and cluttered, but still negotiable. Still, I doubt if you could climb back up. A wider, straight passage runs north.
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a damp, cluttered cave. Twisting, tiny tunnels
  run off in all directions, but (thankfully) the only one you're big enough to fit through is back to the south. You've obviously stumbled into the legendary mines of the Dwarvish Lord Dioria, a brave but rather odious king who used to sell gems and gold to the ancient Ulians - you can recognize clumsy dwarvish mining when you see it.
  Thankfully, all the legends suggest that the dwarves are long-dead. Jumbled rocks litter the floor, and it's rather hard to walk around.
  
  > examine the rocks
  The rocks are just cave litter, nothing too interesting. Suddenly, a dwarf runs out of one of the passages and tosses a rusty knife at you! It scratches your arm and clatters against the wall. "Curses!" the dwarf shrieks. Before you can react, he dives back into one of the narrow tunnels.
  
  > About you
  You're a hulking Valley Warrior, one of the fittest of the Valley King's soldiers. Right now, however, you appear to be injured.
  
  > examine the vein
  The vein runs diagonally through the wall, and has obviously been mined. Still, an industrious person could probably get a few chunks of gold out.
  
  > hit the vein
  What do you want to attack it with?
  
  > Sword
  CLANG! The shock of metal-on-metal sends a shock up your wrist.
  You've dented the gold, but if you're going to do any serious mining, you'll need better equipment.
  
  > Go west
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. In the center
  of the room is a rusty oven. It appears to have been pulled away from the wall, revealing a very narrow tunnel to the east. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  You see a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a handful of radberries, a
  jade figurine, a trowel, a spade, a black stone, and a brown book here.
  
  > go west
  You're in a small, square chamber with a low ceiling. In the center
  of the room is a rusty oven. It appears to have been pulled away from the wall, revealing a very narrow tunnel to the east. Attached to the northern wall is a long wooden shelf. Otherwise, the room is quite featureless. A passage runs back to the west.
  
  You see a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a handful of radberries, a
  jade figurine, a spade, a black stone, a brown book, and a sword here.
  
  > get all
  thin wand: Taken.
  pair of erasers: Taken.
  handful of radberries: Taken.
  jade figurine: Taken.
  spade: Taken.
  black stone: Taken.
  brown book: Taken.
  sword: Taken.
  
  > go to the west
  You are standing in a chamber cut from dark obsidian. Somehow, you feel at peace here. Obviously, this is some kind of temple to one of the gods of ancient Ul. Patterned mosaics cover the floor, and the black walls are streaked with swirls of white marble.
  
  A simple, featureless altar made from dark gray granite is built
  into the northern wall. Above the altar, some writing has been carved into the black stones. Identical passages run south, east, and west.
  
  You see a small cardboard box and a cookbook here.
  
  There's an old monk here, seated on the altar. He looks like he
  hasn't slept or eaten in days, and appears to be very distressed. He glances up as you enter. "Welcome, Valley Warrior."
  
  > Go south
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  underworld! Perhaps Amanda passed this way after all - and maybe your exploration of these caves is not in vain!
  
  To the west is a great iron door, covered in sinister carvings.
  It's closed. Passages run north and southwest as well. From the southwest, a faint grinding noise echoes up the passage.
  
  > examine the door
  The great iron door is covered with grotesque carvings. It's closed.
  
  > look at the carvings
  The carvings portray twisted demonic figures, torturing and killing helpless humans. The carvings look much like what you've seen on captured Unnkulian weaponry.
  
  > open the door
  It's locked.
  
  > Go southwest
  You're standing in what must be an ancient forge. Dark wooden beams support a sagging stone roof, and the floor is stained with droplets of metal. A giant pair of bellows, attached to a huge crucible, stands in the very center of the room. To one side is a huge grindstone. The only exit is to the northeast.
  
  A burly man in a blacksmith's apron is seated at the grindstone, methodically sharpening his axe. Sparks fly as metal touches stone.
  
  > examine Smith
  The smith, a mighty man is he, with strong and sinewy hands. He's busy sharpening his axe, and he's not paying any attention to you. Now that you look at him closely, you notice that he's somewhat transparent - you can see right through him!
  
  > look at the grindstone
  The massive grindstone spins when then pedal beneath it is pushed. The stone's used for sharpening metal implements.
  
  > examine the axe
  The smith's axe looks plenty sharp. It would make a fine weapon, if it weren't insubstantial and ghostly.
  
  > examine the droplets
  No doubt, the droplets are left-over debris from when the forge was active.
  
  > get them
  metal droplets: You can't have the metal droplets.
  
  > examine the crucible
  The crucible's a huge container used for melting metals. The giant bellows are attached to it. There's nothing in the crucible.
  
  > examine the bellows
  When a fire is lit under the crucible, the bellows are used to make the flames rise higher. Pushing the bellows will drive air under the crucible.
  
  > ask Smith about the crucible
  "Used for meltin' down metals," the smith mumbles. "But I've got no fuel." A lone tear runs down his cheek. "All the wood is gone."
  
  > ask Smith about the bellows
  "Leave my bellows be," the smith growls. "Only I can heat the crucible."
  
  > go to the north-east
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west is a great iron door, covered in sinister carvings.
  It's closed. Passages run north and southwest as well. From the southwest, a faint grinding noise echoes up the passage.
  
  > drop all
  bronze ring: (Taking off the bronze ring first)
  Dropped.
  brass lamp: Dropped.
  trowel: Dropped.
  thin wand: Dropped.
  pair of erasers: Dropped.
  handful of radberries: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  spade: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  brown book: Dropped.
  sword: Dropped.
  
  > Go south
  It's pitch black.
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a bronze ring, a trowel, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a handful of radberries, a jade figurine, a spade, a black stone, a brown book, and a sword here.
  
  > get all
  bronze ring: Taken.
  trowel: Taken.
  thin wand: Taken.
  pair of erasers: Taken.
  handful of radberries: Taken.
  jade figurine: Taken.
  spade: Taken.
  black stone: Taken.
  brown book: Taken.
  sword: Taken.
  
  > go west
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  A long rope is attached to the bell, the other end dangling just
  above the floor. You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > jump on the trampoline
  You jump on the trampoline and leap into the air. For some reason, you can really get some altitude here inside the gazebo. You come down and bounce again, higher and higher. The bell's almost in reach; in fact, you can just about grab the edge - suddenly, you find yourself -
  
  You're hanging on the edge of the bell, a good fifteen feet above
  the gazebo floor. The height is making you quite queasy, and the gentle rocking of the bell isn't helping you any. You can't seem to let go; you're having trouble prying your fingers from the bell's shiny surface. The only exit is (gulp) down. A long rope is tied to the edge of the bell, right near your fingers. It hangs down to the floor below.
  
  > get the rope
  With trembling fingers, you reach out with one hand and carefully untie the rope, trying not to shift your weight or the bell. It falls to the ground below.
  
  Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline and a long rope here.
  
  > tie the rope to the hook
  You carefully tie the rope to the hook. The other end dangles down into the pit, just reaching the floor. Suddenly, the rope catches on fire and burns to ashes! You glance down into the pit - is the baby dragon smiling?
  
  > Go west
  You're in a tiny room that's not much more than a stone closet. It probably serves as the vestry for the temple. The only exit is back to the east. There's a set of hooks on the western wall.
  
  You see an oar and a wine bottle here.
  
  A robe is hanging on the hooks.
  
  > look at the oar
  The oar is wooden, quite old and weathered - but I'm sure it would do.
  
  > drop spade and trowel
  spade: Dropped.
  trowel: Dropped.
  
  > examine the beams
  The beams look ready to collapse, but they've held up the roof for centuries. Probably another few minutes won't make much difference.
  
  > ask Smith about the crucible
  "Used for meltin' down metals," the smith mumbles. "But I've got no fuel." A lone tear runs down his cheek. "All the wood is gone."
  
  You're feeling a fuzz hungry. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat.
  
  > Go west
  This chamber's walls are covered in tacky stained purple and green wooden panelling. It's not exactly what I would call peaceful, but there is a comfortable chair (upholstered in bright orange) and, on the western wall, a bookshelf. In some ways, the room is kind of like an evil twin of the King's library back in the Valley. The only exit is back to the east.
  
  A yellow paperback, a black book, a blue book, and a white paperback are sitting on the shelf.
  
  > examine the yellow
  It's number forty-three in the "Don Martyr of Cars" series. You've got a copy at home, a much nicer edition. I think the cover of this one's made from cheez (tm).
  
  > eat it
  Yep, it's pure cheez all right. (Burp.)  Pretty filling, though it does taste like motor oil.
  
  > go to the west
  You're in a tiny room that's not much more than a stone closet. It probably serves as the vestry for the temple. The only exit is back to the east. There's a set of hooks on the western wall.
  
  You see a wine bottle, a brown book, a spade, and a trowel here.
  
  A robe is hanging on the hooks.
  
  > put all in pocket
  brass lamp: Done.
  bronze ring: (Taking off the bronze ring first)
  Done.
  thin wand: Done.
  pair of erasers: Done.
  handful of radberries: Done.
  jade figurine: Done.
  black stone: Done.
  sword: Done.
  long rope: Done.
  oar: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  robe: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  > get all
  wine bottle: Taken.
  brown book: Taken.
  spade: Taken.
  trowel: Taken.
  
  > go to the northwest
  You're standing just northwest of a dark cave, somewhere in the Beeg'ashell Mountains. Inside the cave entrance, you can just make out a set of stone stairs sloping down, back into the heart of the mountains. Rough patches of crabgrass struggle for life here and there, poking through cracks in the rocky mountain soil. A trail climbs up to the west, while another slopes down to the north. A third, level trail leads due south. It's quite cold here, and a chill wind whips across the rocky hills. The cave entrance is back to the southeast.
  
  > examine the crabgrass
  The patches of crabgrass struggle for life in the rocky soil.
  
  > Go north
  You're walking on a rocky mountain trail that slopes down the side of the mountain. There's almost no vegetation here; a few roots poke from the ground, but the plants here appear to be dying. The trail slopes down to the northeast and up to the south. There's a scruffy, smelly goat here, blocking the trail to the northeast and staring at you.
  
  > look at the goat
  The mountain goat is rather skinny and scruffy-looking, with great patches of hair missing. It's eyeing you balefully. Tiny letters along its horns read "Acme Soopur Agyl Mowntan Ghowt." [19]
  
  > Note 19
  [19]: It should be self-evident that this is not the same goat that was in "Horror of Rylvania." It's much smellier.
  
  > Go west
  You're standing at the eastern edge of a deep mountain gorge. Far below you, mist swirls over sharp rocks. You're trying desperately to keep your vertigo in check, and having some success; staying a good fifteen feet back from the edge helps a lot. Across the gorge you can just make out a slender stone tower rising from a rocky mountain-top - but of course, you can't get there from here. If only you had an Acme Brij Kreeaytor! The only obvious exit is the trail back to the east; other directions appear too rocky to travel.
  
  Surely, the fair Amanda could not have crossed this great gash in
  the earth. Perhaps your quest lies elsewhere.
  
  > look at the tower
  You can't really make out the tower from here, but it stirs memories in you that you don't quite understand. Could it be the fabled lost tower of Wowsa Willy?
  
  > Wave wand
  "Fool!" a voice thunders. "Do you really think I'd help you get across *my* gorge? Are you mad?"
  
  > Go south
  You're standing on top of a low, rocky rise somewhere in the Beeg'ashell Mountains. Not far south of here is the land of the Unnkulians, the dread enemies of your beloved master, the Valley King. In fact, you can make out several features from here, further south - Lake Draounheer's western shore, to the southeast; the walls of what appear to be some sort of monastery; and, on top of the highest of the mountains, a giant boulder, perched quite precariously. Unfortunately (or perhaps thankfully) the terrain is far too rugged for you to get there from here. The only safe path is to the north. There's a spreading chestnut tree in the very center of the clearing.
  
  > look at the tree
  It's quite a stately old chestnut tree. It towers high above you, shading you with its thick limbs.
  
  > Shake tree
  You shake the stately tree, but can't really budge it. From high above, however, you hear an angry squawking.