text: [Themes: horror, humor]
  
  You take one look at Moreau's citizens and shake your head. There's no way you can whip these freaks into shape by yourself. Look at them, all peace and love and shit. There's a damn giraffe man kissing a damn bear woman. It's not right! You're too disgusted right now; you have to talk to someone normal!
  
  You go to the nearby swamp, where you see Gil catching a small lizard and eating it.
  
  "Well its good to see someone here, who's not a pansy ass herbivore." You say.
  
  Gil looks up, perturbed at first, but surprised when he sees you.
  
  "Wolf? What're you doing here?"
  "Same thing as you, Moreau offered to set me up for life, if I help him. Though I don't see how that's possible with the freaks I just met."
  "I know, tell me about it. I can't even get them to argue with me! I was calling them a bunch of ignorant land dwellers who should've been killed at birth like the freaks they were and they tried to do was hug me."
  "Still don't like surfacer dwellers eh Gil?"
  "Hell no! I wouldn't even be here, but I was getting really tired of moving every five minutes because humans feel the need to build a factory near my home. At least here, I know that's not going to happen and the freaks will know to leave me be."
  "Assuming the freaks will still be here. The Martians will be taking over soon if we don't do anything." You remind Gil.
  "I know, I know. They would be even worse neighbors than humans assuming they would still let me live here. (Sigh) Looks like I'll be moving again soon."
  "Oh come on Gil, we gotta think up something. The Martians are a bunch of idiots. I can't give up just yet."
  "Ah I should've suspected. You're here to prove you still got one fight left in you. The old Alpha Wolf syndrome."
  "I'm not here just for that, but maybe that is part of it. So what the hell's wrong with that?"
  "Nothing I suppose. It's your life. I just think it's a pointless and silly endeavor that gets you killed for no good reason."
  "Oh fuck you Gil. We're natural born killers, we're designed to establish our dominance and be combative! You of all should understand that. You want to die an old fish in your sleep?"
  "Sounds about right. Look Wolf, I know you've always subscribed to natural law, survival of fittest ideology and I do too. But you take it to the fucking extreme that it's ridiculous. Really I mean don't you feel that in your elder years that you'd just like peace and quiet? I never picked fights for the hell of it. It didn't make much sense. I mean shit, I've been fighting humans all my damn life, and I'm tired of it. I want to rest. I always just wanted to be left alone but the damn land dwellers wouldn't leave me alone."
  "Gil, I learned a long time ago, no matter how much you try, shitheads are going to bother you. You can be a recluse like you and Moreau or be an anti-social asshole like me. It doesn't matter. Someone is going to fuck with you; someone is going to annoy you. All you can do is deal with it head on and make the best of it. What're you going to do Gil? Move when the Martians arrive? Then move again when some humans build yet another factory by your new home and just keep going like that until you die? You got a chance here to pretty much live your dream of a relatively peaceful undisturbed life here. It's not going to get any better Gil. All you gotta do is stand up to the Martians. Yeah, maybe you'll get killed, but it's better than constantly being on the run."
  
  Your words have made sense to Gil. He can't really argue with your logic. This place probably is the best he's going to ever have it on this planet. He just needs to help get rid of the Martian threat.
  
  "Well Wolf, I guess either way this is going to be my last fight. Alright what should we do next? Because attempting to train the freaks seems like it's doomed to failure."
  
  > suggest you and Gil just try to do the best training them
  "Well we have to work with what we got Gil, nothing else for it."
  "(Sigh) I don't know, I tried already, and none of them have any kind of fighter instinct."
  "You probably were treating them like something you scraped off your scales."
  "Oh and I suppose you'd treat them better?"
  "Not really, but they might respond better to me, I can be diplomatic."
  "Ha ha ha ha! YOU!? Diplomatic?! Alright I'll help because I gotta see this!"
  
  You and Gil go to back to Moreau's freak town, where the freaks stare at you again. You call everyone to gather around.
  
  "Alright you freaks come gather around! Now then, it has become quite apparent to me that all of you are a bunch of hippy weaklings who would've been killed a long time ago, if you actually lived in reality. Well soon the reality will come to rectify that mistake if you don't stand up to the Martians that will be coming to annihilate this little so called paradise you all have."
  "Oh maybe if we're real nice to them, they'll let us live!" one says.
  "Not familiar with Martians are you? They're not the nicest beings in any sense of the word. They've attempted to conquer this planet several times and have killed millions of humans. What do you think they'll do to you freaks?"
  "I'm sure they can be reasonable, if we just ask them nicely to live with us in peace."
  "Argh! Didn't you fucking freaks hear what I said?! I said they'll fucking kill ALL of you! Now if you fight back you might have a chance! All you have to do is evacuate your town and whatever little settlements you have on this island and take to the wilderness. You could easily conduct a successful guerilla war on here. Martians aren't very good tacticians and have bad immune systems. They'll probably catch malaria and every other disease under the sun attempting to root you guys out and I of course will be the one leading you to victory!"
  
  Your speech is met with more silence and disapproval.
  
  "No! We shall not give in to hatred and violence! Those are the old ways!"
  "Yes and some of us never followed those ways in the first place!"
  
  "That went over real well, got any other ideas?" Gil asks you.
  
  > fly into a rage
  This is too frustrating to you and once again you're sickened with how nature has been perverted like this. You can't take it any more. You start killing the nearest freaks to you. Naturally this all results in a lot of running and screaming on their part. The blood lust gets to you, so you don't just stop there, you won't be happy until you've killed them all.
  
  Dr. Moreau comes out to see what's going on, and immediately goes into shock at the sight of his citizens lying on the ground in bloody heaps. He then clutches his heart and falls over dead.
  
  Gil sees that you're busy, so he goes back to his swamp mumbling something about land dwellers.
  
  By the time the Martians arrive you've pretty much done their job for them. They take this as a sign of genuine steps to improve Martian-Earthling relations. They thank you and allow you to live on the island for free. You accept since it beats going back to the run down cabin and having to pay rent.
  
  As it turns out, Martians aren't really such bad neighbors. A lot of them are pretty stupid, but then so are most humans. Life doesn't change too much for you.
  
  Just goes to show wherever you go, there you are.