text: [Themes: Humor, Children's, Literary, female protagonist]
  
  > look at dynamite
  There are three sticks, each about six inches long and an inch in diameter. The fuses are extremely short, as though some evil rodent has been nibbling at them!
  
  > Light dynamite
  I'm sorry, I don't know how to do that without matches. I was in the girl scouts, but they kicked me out after two weeks.
  
  > go to the north
  I'm in a small meadow at the back of the cottage, separated from the forest by a rickety fence. In the middle of the meadow is what appears to be a homemade wind turbine! To the south, through the tangled pergola, is the garden.
  Daisy the cow is standing here, chewing disinterestedly on a mouthful of hay.
  
  > examine the turbine
  It appears to be a 5 KW battery-charging turbine made from wood, old tractor parts and a washing machine motor, probably connected to the cottage by an underground cable. See - I'm not just a pretty face! (Though you have to admit, I am pretty.) The sails are not currently moving since the air is completely still.
  
  There is what appears to be an oil can sitting on a platform near the top of the turbine.
  
  > get can
  I can't reach it from here! It's all the way up on top of that rickety structure!
  
  > Climb turbine
  There's no way I'm going up there! It's a deathtrap!
  
  > look at Daisy
  Must be the oddest looking cow I've ever seen! She has four knees! I strongly suspect that it might be two men in a suit, but it is to all intents and purposes, a cow.
  
  > ask Daisy about the turbine
  "Mooooo!"
  
  > ask Daisy,  to go south
  Daisy the cow has better things to do.
  
  > show the turnip to Daisy
  Daisy jumps up and down excitedly when she sees the turnip. I don't think I've ever seen a cow do that before!
  
  > pull Daisy
  That would be less than courteous.
  
  > give the turnip to Daisy
  Daisy gobbles down the turnip excitedly before sidling over to me and nuzzling my chest. I get impression she thinks I've got more turnips hidden somewhere about my person. I can't imagine where she gets that idea.
  
  > Go south
  I'm in a little garden alongside the cottage. There's a vegetable plot in a sunny spot by the wall and on the other side of the garden a somewhat neglected ornamental pond. There's obviously been some attempt at landscaping but the effect is less Capability Brown and more incapable bruin. A ramshackle potting shed completes the image of horticultural incompetence. To the north, an overgrown pergola leads into a meadow.
  Daisy the cow walks towards me from the north.
  
  > go south
  I can't go in that direction, but I can move north, east and in.
  
  Daisy curtsies towards some imaginary audience.
  
  > Go east
  I'm in a clearing. There is a teeny tiny cottage here complete with a thatched roof and leaded windows. It's just like something out of a fairy tale, funnily enough, except for the large hand-painted sign designed to deter trespassers. Just to the north is the front porch. A little path lined by rows of white-painted stones leads around the side of the house to the west.
  Daisy the cow walks towards me from the west.
  
  > go east
  I can't go in that direction, but I can move north, south and west.
  
  Daisy curtsies towards some imaginary audience.
  
  > Go south
  I'm at a fork in the path. Not the kind of fork you eat with, the sort where the path forks; you know, like a fork. To the north the path widens into a clearing. To the west it disappears into the forest. Daisy the cow walks towards me from the north.
  
  > go west
  I'm lost in the forest, surrounded on all sides by dense foliage. I knew it was a bad idea to stray from the path! I can go in any direction, but I haven't a clue which is the right one!
  
  From somewhere comes the blood-curdling howl of a wolf...
  Daisy the cow walks towards me from elsewhere.
  
  > Go east
  I'm on a path winding through the Enchanted Forest. The path winds its way from the north towards the west. In every other direction there are dark, sinister looking trees that wave their branches at me in an anthropomorphic kind of way. Ooh, I'm soooo scared!
  Daisy the cow walks towards me from the west.
  
  > Go north
  A large wooden sign informs me that I'm in the Enchanted Forest. What it doesn't tell me is how the hell I get out! Everywhere I look there are trees, trees, trees. This place definately has a 'tree' theme going. A clearly marked path leads south and west, whilst in every other direction are, well, trees.
  An old pedlar is sitting on a log here, tending to his bunions.
  Daisy the cow walks towards me from the south.
  
  'Ah, now there's a lovely specimen!' says the Pedlar, getting up from his log and feeling Daisy's knees. He seems satisfied. 'all present and correct! Here you go love - you'll be cured in no time!' He opens his suitcase and hands me a small packet, then leads Daisy off into the forest.
  
  > look at the packet
  It's a packet of magic beans. There are some instructions written on the back of the packet.
  
  > read the packet
  'For a giant beanstalk, plant bean in a sunny spot and water well. As a cure for non-rabbit-head-itis, take one bean daily, preferably with a meal. If symptoms persist, consult your local wizard. BEST BEFORE: MARCH 1976'
  
  > About yourself
  I'm about 5' 10", 19 years old with stripey tights and Doc Martens, and I'm named after my really cool strawberry blonde dreadlocks. Basically I'm a Fox, but you knew that already.
  
  > Go north
  I'm standing on the porch of the Three Bears' cottage. It would be quite pretty in a rustic sort of way had someone not seen fit to paint it gold. The front door is closed. Just south of me is the clearing in the forest.
  A battered old dustbin sits to one side of the porch.
  
  I can also see a milkbottle (in which is a crumpled note) here.
  
  > read the note
  'Dear Snookums, three pints tomorrow please - one regular, one skimmed and one semi-skimmed. From your little Fuzzy-wuzzy'
  
  > look at the dustbin
  An environmentally sound way of disposing of all the objects I'm finished with. The battered old dustbin is empty.
  
  > put the bottle in the dustbin
  I put the empty milkbottle into the battered old dustbin.
  
  > open the packet
  I open the small packet, revealing a magic bean.
  
  > eat the bean
  I'd have to be holding it.
  
  > eat the bean
  I have a feeling that non-rabbit-head-itis is an affliction that mainly affects rabbits. I'm not sure what kind of effect the bean would have on a human being. Are you sure you want me to go through with this?
  
  > No
  That was a rhetorical question.
  
  > fill the bottle
  Okay, I filled the bottle with water from the pond. Yeeurrggh! My hand is covered in pondslime now! Thanks a lot!
  
  > Plant bean
  Okay, I planted it in the vegetable plot. Nothing seems to be happening. So much for the "magic."
  
  > pour the water on the bean
  (the bottle of water on the magic bean)
  Okay, I watered the magic bean. After a few moments there is a low rumble from underground. The ground begins to shake violently...
  
  Aaah! Something shot out of the ground and knocked me flying! I'm lying spreadeagled on the ground beneath this MASSIVE beanstalk! Well, I say massive, actually it stops abruptly just above the roof of the cottage.
  
  Damn, I seem to have dropped all my stuff...
  
  > get all
  broken bottle: Taken.
  overripe pumpkin: Taken.
  pair of secateurs: Taken.
  ratty old paintbrush: Taken.
  some sticks of dynamite: Taken.
  trowel: Taken.
  pair of gardening gloves: Taken.
  small packet: Taken.
  crumpled note: Taken.
  
  > Climb beanstalk
  If Jack can do it, so can Goldilocks!
  At the top of the beanstalk
  I'm at the top of the beanstalk. I was under the impression that these giant beanstalks all had castles at the top of them, but not this scrawny specimen. However I can almost touch the roof of the cottage from here.
  
  > examine the roof
  There's a little chimney stack attached to which is a TV aerial. The roof is a little too high for me to reach.