text: > Describe the surroundings
  The yak shed is a gloomy wooden structure of rickety construction. Enormous piles of dung take up most of the available floorspace; shafts of light from cracks in the ceiling illuminating thousands of buzzing flies.
  
  A solitary yak stands in the middle of the shed, its shaggy pelt illuminated by a shaft of sunlight.
  
  > eat yak
  (first taking the yak)
  I don't suppose the yak would care for that.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a yak's wool sock
  a clothes peg (being worn)
  
  > ask yak about the monk
  Bovines are not known for their scintilating repartee. This beast, being an unexceptional example of her breed, merely responds to your enquiry with a quizzical look.
  
  > Up
  Here, at the peak of the mountain, perched beneath a snow-covered overhang, is a 1969 model Sprite Alpine caravan in a delapidated state of repair. Mystic sigils have been daubed across its rotting sides. Colourful prayer flags flap from ropes tied to the awning poles. Could it be that you have finally found the fabled Sanctum Sanctorum of the Dada Lama?
  
  A narrow traverse takes you down to foot of the mountain.
  
  A lowly acolyte stands guard outside the door to the caravan.
  
  "You again!" says the Acolyte. "What do you want now?"
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > put the sock on the line
  Putting things on the clothes line would achieve nothing.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > ask Acolyte about the chopsticks
  "Get your own!" snaps the acolyte..
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > Wear sock
  It's way too big for you.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > remove the peg
  You take off the clothes peg.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > go to the south
  The only directions you can take from here are in to the caravan or down a meandering path to the valley floor. In every other direction lie sheer drops or dangerous scree slopes.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > drop all
  yak's wool sock: Dropped.
  
  clothes peg: Dropped.
  
  > Up
  Here, at the peak of the mountain, perched beneath a snow-covered overhang, is a 1969 model Sprite Alpine caravan in a delapidated state of repair. Mystic sigils have been daubed across its rotting sides. Colourful prayer flags flap from ropes tied to the awning poles. Could it be that you have finally found the fabled Sanctum Sanctorum of the Dada Lama?
  
  A narrow traverse takes you down to foot of the mountain.
  
  A lowly acolyte stands guard outside the door to the caravan.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > Go inside
  After your long and arduous journey it's hard not to be disappointed by the famous Sanctum Sanctorum of his Holiness the Dada Lama. Sure, incense burners and mandalas abound, but there's no getting away from the fact that this is nothing more than a shabby old trailer home with seating that folds up to provide additional storage.
  
  His holiness the Dada Lama, Exalted Master of Excelling Works, sits in the middle of a bubbling hot-tub surrounded by topless beauties.
  
  The brunette massages the old man's scalp whilst the blonde lovingly soaps his scanty beard.
  
  "I have been expecting you, oh faithful disciple!" says the Dada Lama as you enter.
  
  "You don't look like you were expecting anyone," you reply, glancing at the blonde as she ladles hot water over his shiny dome.
  
  "Do not be deceived by appearances, my son." says the Lama, "In Shangri-La we live a life of simple austerity. This hot tub is merely an illusion. Candy and Mitzi here are neophytes who, like yourself, are taking their first faltering steps on the path to enlightenment. You seek the ancient wisdom of the exalted masters, yes?"
  
  "Something like that," you reply.
  
  "Well wisdom must be earned. Take this jar of pickled eggs. If you can get the lid off, enlightenment will be yours. Now, go!"
  
  > examine eggs
  A jar of eggs, pickled in vinegar. The jar is currently tightly closed.
  
  > examine Dada Lama
  Small, bald and wrinkled as last night's bedsheets, the Dada Lama is either very old or he's been in that hot tub too long.
  
  > ask Lama about yak
  "What are you doing here still?" says the Lama, "Have I not given you clear instructions? Now, go!"
  
  > read the jar
  A jar of eggs, pickled in vinegar. The jar is currently tightly closed.
  
  "What are you doing here still?" snaps the Lama. "Did I not give you clear instructions? Now, go!"
  
  > Leave
  Here, at the peak of the mountain, perched beneath a snow-covered overhang, is a 1969 model Sprite Alpine caravan in a delapidated state of repair. Mystic sigils have been daubed across its rotting sides. Colourful prayer flags flap from ropes tied to the awning poles. Could it be that you have finally found the fabled Sanctum Sanctorum of the Dada Lama?
  
  A narrow traverse takes you down to foot of the mountain.
  
  A lowly acolyte stands guard outside the door to the caravan.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > take the chopsticks
  You try to grab the chopsticks from the acolyte's hands, but his highly trained reflexes are just too fast for you.
  
  "Get your own!" he admonishes.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > show the jar to Acolyte
  The acolyte is unimpressed.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > take all
  acolyte: I don't suppose the acolyte would care for that.
  pair of chopsticks: You try to grab the chopsticks from the acolyte's hands, but his highly trained reflexes are just too fast for you.
  
  "Get your own!" he admonishes.
  overhang: That's hardly portable.
  clothes line: That's hardly portable.
  Lama's caravan: That's hardly portable.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > clap one hand
  You attempt to clap with one hand, waving it through the air ineffectually.
  
  "It's not as easy as it sounds, is it?" says the acolyte.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > Down
  Here, at the foot of the mountain you are at last fully able to appreciate its immense size. A rough, twisting path becomes a narrow traverse that zig-zags its way up the mountainside, its summit obscured by mist.
  
  To the west is a pleasant looking meadow, whilst to the east are a scattering of caravans. Far away to the north the Valley is blocked by a sheer wall of ice; an enormous glacier!
  
  You can see a clothes peg and a yak's wool sock here.
  
  > take all
  clothes peg: Taken.
  
  yak's wool sock: Taken.
  
  mountain: That's hardly portable.
  
  > Up
  Here, at the peak of the mountain, perched beneath a snow-covered overhang, is a 1969 model Sprite Alpine caravan in a delapidated state of repair. Mystic sigils have been daubed across its rotting sides. Colourful prayer flags flap from ropes tied to the awning poles. Could it be that you have finally found the fabled Sanctum Sanctorum of the Dada Lama?
  
  A narrow traverse takes you down to foot of the mountain.
  
  A lowly acolyte stands guard outside the door to the caravan.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > examine the overhang
  It really is an avalanche waiting to happen. Any loud noise could set it off.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > Clap
  You attempt to clap with one hand, waving it through the air ineffectually.
  
  "It's not as easy as it sounds, is it?" says the acolyte.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > jump
  You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > open the jar
  The acolyte has better things to do.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > give the jar to Acolyte
  For a moment you consider handing over the jar of pickled eggs (closed), but the chances are you'd never see it again.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > open the jar with the sock
  That doesn't seem to be something you can unlock.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a yak's wool sock
  a clothes peg
  a jar of pickled eggs (closed)
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > put the sock on the jar
  Putting things on the jar of pickled eggs (closed) would achieve nothing.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > throw the jar at the overhang
  Futile.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > look at the overhang
  It really is an avalanche waiting to happen. Any loud noise could set it off.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a yak's wool sock
  a clothes peg
  a jar of pickled eggs (closed)
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > drop all
  yak's wool sock: Dropped.
  
  clothes peg: Dropped.
  
  jar of pickled eggs (closed): Dropped.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying nothing.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > Clap acolyte's hand
  After your long and arduous journey it's hard not to be disappointed by the famous Sanctum Sanctorum of his Holiness the Dada Lama. Sure, incense burners and mandalas abound, but there's no getting away from the fact that this is nothing more than a shabby old trailer home with seating that folds up to provide additional storage.
  
  His holiness the Dada Lama, Ascended Master of the Greater Mysteries, sits in the middle of a bubbling hot-tub surrounded by topless beauties.
  
  The brunette massages the old man's scalp whilst the blonde lovingly soaps his scanty beard.
  
  "So, my son, you have returned!" says Lama. "Have you completed the task I set you?"
  
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  > open the couch
  You open the seat, revealing a hairdryer.
  
  You can't see any such thing.
  
  > take the dryer
  Taken.
  
  "Hey!" says Mitzy, "Put that back!"
  
  > take the hairdryer
  You already have that.
  
  > go outside
  Here, at the peak of the mountain, perched beneath a snow-covered overhang, is a 1969 model Sprite Alpine caravan in a delapidated state of repair. Mystic sigils have been daubed across its rotting sides. Colourful prayer flags flap from ropes tied to the awning poles. Could it be that you have finally found the fabled Sanctum Sanctorum of the Dada Lama?
  
  A narrow traverse takes you down to foot of the mountain.
  
  A lowly acolyte stands guard outside the door to the caravan.
  
  You can also see a jar of pickled eggs (closed), a clothes peg and a yak's wool sock here.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > take all
  jar of pickled eggs (closed): Taken.
  
  clothes peg: Taken.
  
  yak's wool sock: Taken.
  
  acolyte: I don't suppose the acolyte would care for that.
  pair of chopsticks: You try to grab the chopsticks from the acolyte's hands, but his highly trained reflexes are just too fast for you.
  
  "Get your own!" he admonishes.
  overhang: That's hardly portable.
  clothes line: That's hardly portable.
  Lama's caravan: That's hardly portable.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > examine the hairdryer
  Quite what the Dada Lama wants with a hairdryer is beyond you - the man is as bald as a coot. Perhaps it belongs to one of his "disciples".
  
  The hairdryer bears the legend "FOHAT 400 DELUXE". It appears to be powered by cosmic electricity, which is handy as there doesn't seem to be anywhere to plug it in.
  
  The hairdryer is currently switched off.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.
  
  > turn on the dryer
  You switch the hairdryer on.
  
  > Melt ice
  After many hours of laborious work, you succeed in melting a hole in the glacier large enough to climb into. Wreaths of icy vapour exude from the hole.
  
  After many hours of laborious work, you succeed in melting a hole in the glacier large enough to climb into. Wreaths of icy vapour exude from the hole.
  
  > Go inside
  A vast, cathedral-like cavern bathed in an eerie blue glow. Through the walls you can make out the shapes of objects entombed in the ice; a woolly mammoth, a Viking longboat with full complement of oarsmen, and a 1948 Morris Minor two-door saloon. The only exit is back out through the hole you made with the hairdryer.
  
  A hole in the ice, just big enough to crawl through, leads  out into the sunshine.
  
  Slumped in the middle of the cavern is an extraordinary figure. The abominable snowman, once thought to be a myth, now a hulking four hundred pound fact with muscles like marshmallows! The yeti seems to thawing; his face and hands are a healthy pink but his gigantic feet are still blue with cold.
  
  > examine the snowman
  The yeti stands a few feet away, eyeing you amusedly.
  
  The abominable snowman, once thought to be a myth, now a hulking four hundred pound fact with muscles like marshmallows and incredibly large, incredibly cold feet.
  
  The yeti stomps off towards Moraine.
  
  > Leave
  You are standing at the foot of the glacier, a sheer wall of ice that would dwarf the tallest skyscraper. For thousands of years it has followed this valley like the world's most doggedly determined Slush Puppie. Scattered around are immense boulders deposited here by the glacier during its inexorable retreat. Who knows what else might have been swept up in this monstrous river of ice?
  
  To the south the holy mountain broods over the valley like a thundercloud. Narrow trails lead southeast and southwest.
  
  A hole in the ice, just big enough to crawl through, leads  into the depths of the glacier.
  
  Slumped in the middle of the cavern is an extraordinary figure. The abominable snowman, once thought to be a myth, now a hulking four hundred pound fact with muscles like marshmallows! The yeti seems to thawing; his face and hands are a healthy pink but his gigantic feet are still blue with cold.
  
  The yeti stomps off towards Meadow.
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > Go southwest
  Here, in the foothills of the mountains is a meadow of lush grass, strewn with boulders and dotted with tall wild flowers that frug and shimmy in the breeze. A pastoral idyll in other words, marred only by the fact that someone has erected a barn smack in the middle of it. A windowless wooden box, this barn, of no great architectural merit. Daubed above the entrance are the words "Yak Shed".
  
  To the east, a rugged path leads down into the valley whilst other, more ordinally inclined paths lead northeast and southeast.
  
  Slumped in the middle of the cavern is an extraordinary figure. The abominable snowman, once thought to be a myth, now a hulking four hundred pound fact with muscles like marshmallows! The yeti seems to thawing; his face and hands are a healthy pink but his gigantic feet are still blue with cold.
  
  The yeti stomps off towards Shangri-La.
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > Go north
  You make no progress in that direction. However, there are rugged paths leading east towards the Mystic Mountain, northeast towards the glacier, and southeast to the pass where you first entered the valley. You could also, if you felt so inclined, try entering the Yak Shed.
  
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > go southeast
  You weren't sure what to expect from the mystic valley of Shangri-La. You'd heard all the stories of course -- a land of mystery and matchless beauty where life is lived in tranquil wonder, beyond the grasp of a doomed world! That's what it said in the brochure, anyway...
  
  What you weren't expecting was a caravan park. But there's no mistaking the large sign over the entrance: "Shangri-La Caravan Park welcomes the pure of soul -- 200 Spaces Available." Most of the spaces are empty.
  
  Directly ahead is perhaps the loveliest mountain you have ever seen; an almost perfect cone of snow, it is as though a small child had dropped a Cornetto in the middle of the valley. A broad path leads north to the mountain, and on either side are narrow trails leading northeast and northwest.
  
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > Go north
  Here, at the foot of the mountain you are at last fully able to appreciate its immense size. A rough, twisting path becomes a narrow traverse that zig-zags its way up the mountainside, its summit obscured by mist.
  
  To the west is a pleasant looking meadow, whilst to the east are a scattering of caravans. Far away to the north the Valley is blocked by a sheer wall of ice; an enormous glacier!
  
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > listen
  You hear nothing unexpected.
  
  The yeti arrives from Moraine, the ground trembling under his massive feet.
  
  > give the jar to yeti
  The yeti is in some kind of hypothermic coma, and doesn't react to the
  
  > Up
  jar of pickled eggs (closed).
  
  The yeti stomps off towards Shangri-La.
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  The yeti arrives from Meadow, the ground trembling under his massive feet.
  
  > give the sock to yeti
  The yeti is in some kind of hypothermic coma, and doesn't react to the yak's wool sock.
  
  The yeti stomps off towards Plot 108.
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > put the sock on yeti
  One sock is not much use to anybody.
  
  The yeti stomps off towards Plot 108.
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > knit the sock
  You would need a pair of knitting needles for that, or something sufficiently similar.
  
  You hear the yeti sounding his barbaric YAWP across the roof of the world...
  
  > go north
  You are standing at the foot of the glacier, a sheer wall of ice that would dwarf the tallest skyscraper. For thousands of years it has followed this valley like the world's most doggedly determined Slush Puppie. Scattered around are immense boulders deposited here by the glacier during its inexorable retreat. Who knows what else might have been swept up in this monstrous river of ice?
  
  To the south the holy mountain broods over the valley like a thundercloud. Narrow trails lead southeast and southwest.
  
  A hole in the ice, just big enough to crawl through, leads  into the depths of the glacier.
  
  The yeti arrives from Meadow, hurling aside any giant boulders that stand in his path.
  
  > enter
  A vast, cathedral-like cavern bathed in an eerie blue glow. Through the walls you can make out the shapes of objects entombed in the ice; a woolly mammoth, a Viking longboat with full complement of oarsmen, and a 1948 Morris Minor two-door saloon. The only exit is back out through the hole you made with the hairdryer.
  
  A hole in the ice, just big enough to crawl through, leads  out into the sunshine.
  
  > get all
  It's beyond your help unfortunately.
  
  hole in the ice: That's fixed in place.
  woolly mammoth: It's beyond your help unfortunately.
  viking longboat: It's beyond your help unfortunately.
  1948 Morris Minor two-door saloon: It's beyond your help unfortunately.
  
  > look at the mammoth
  It's beyond your help unfortunately.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a yak's wool sock
  a clothes peg
  a jar of pickled eggs (closed)
  a hairdryer
  
  > Melt the ice with the hairdryer
  The hole in the ice seems to have a melting point higher than the temperature of the air expelled by the hairdryer.
  
  > Leave
  You are standing at the foot of the glacier, a sheer wall of ice that would dwarf the tallest skyscraper. For thousands of years it has followed this valley like the world's most doggedly determined Slush Puppie. Scattered around are immense boulders deposited here by the glacier during its inexorable retreat. Who knows what else might have been swept up in this monstrous river of ice?
  
  To the south the holy mountain broods over the valley like a thundercloud. Narrow trails lead southeast and southwest.
  
  A hole in the ice, just big enough to crawl through, leads  into the depths of the glacier.
  
  Slumped in the middle of the cavern is an extraordinary figure. The abominable snowman, once thought to be a myth, now a hulking four hundred pound fact with muscles like marshmallows! The yeti seems to thawing; his face and hands are a healthy pink but his gigantic feet are still blue with cold.
  
  > follow you
  The yeti stands a few feet away, eyeing you amusedly.
  
  There is no reply.
  
  > tell Acolyte about yeti
  This provokes no reaction.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > turn on the dryer
  Nothing happens.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > turn off the dryer
  You switch the hairdryer off.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > look at the overhang
  It really is an avalanche waiting to happen. Any loud noise could set it off.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > Sing
  You hum a little ditty.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > examine the flags
  On second glance, the "prayer flags" turn out to be the Dada Lama's laundry, attached to the ropes with clothes pegs. You try not to look too closely at the Guru's undergarments with their dried-in stains.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > examine the sigils
  You recognise among them the lamen of the Golden Dawn office of Kerux, the ouroboros; ancient emblem of eternity, the astrological glyph of the planet Neptune, the Secret Seal of Solomon, the mystical symbol Aum in Tibetan script, and The Golden Arches; famous symbol of McDonald's restaurants.
  
  The acolyte sighs with frustration.
  
  > turn on the dryer
  Nothing happens.
  
  The acolyte attempts to clap with one hand, cupping the other hand over his ear the better to hear the sound it makes.
  
  > throw the dryer at the overhang
  Futile.
  
  The acolyte attempts to catch a passing fly with his chopsticks. They say that a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything.