text: [Themes: Humor]
  
  > Look around
  You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill.
  
  You can see a plank here.
  
  > go to the east
  You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.
  
  A swanky golf-cart stands here,waiting to be driven around by rich, old people.
  
  > get in the cart
  You get into the golf cart.
  
  > Speed2
  Enter saved game to store: Ok.
  
  > go west
  Of course, you could make an impressive stunt by running this thing straight over the plank into the pool...but to what avail?
  
  > Go outside
  You get out of the golf cart.
  
  You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.
  
  A swanky golf-cart stands here,waiting to be driven around by rich, old people.
  
  > look in the cart
  The golf cart is empty.
  
  > go northeast
  A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.
  
  > go west
  You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill.
  
  You can see a barrel of glue and a plank here.
  
  > examine the nozzle
  With it, you can SPRAY things.
  
  > get all
  barrel of glue: Taken.
  plank: Taken.
  wall: That's hardly portable.
  
  > spray the plank
  With what?
  
  > Spray
  What do you want to spray?
  
  > read the glue
  A huge, friendly green barrel. It has a nozzle on top and a sticker on it's side.
  
  > read the sticker
  Bio-Man superglue! Glues everything on everything. 100% edible!
  
  > drop all
  plank: You prop the plank against the wall, building a make-shift ramp. barrel of glue: Dropped.
  
  > climb the wall
  You manage to scramble over the wall.
  
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  The water in the pool is boiling!
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see a bowl of eggnog and an Uzi here.
  
  > go to the north
  The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.
  
  People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.
  
  On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop, connected to some small speakers, providing music.
  Right now, it's playing: "My name is Jack Mills" by Nitku.
  
  > Go south
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  The water in the pool is boiling!
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see a bowl of eggnog and an Uzi here.
  
  > take all
  bowl of eggnog: Taken.
  Uzi: Taken.
  Lazy people: I don't suppose Lazy people would care for that. undergrowth: That's hardly portable.
  wall: That's hardly portable.
  
  > ask the mouse about the cheese
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  > Go north
  The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.
  
  People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.
  
  On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop, connected to some small speakers, providing music.
  Right now, it's playing: "Keasbey Nights" by Catch 22.
  
  > Go north
  Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.
  
  Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about hypertext.
  
  Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
  
  > Go east
  A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
  Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.
  
  You can see a chest of drawers (in which is a thing Pauls aunt gave her which he doesn't know what it is) here.
  
  > Go upwards
  Paul has forbidden any entrance for either you or anyone else to the rest of the House for the night. Aside from a a seductive "Maybe later, when we're alone", that is.
  
  > open the door
  Which do you mean, the small door or the front door?
  
  > Small
  You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.
  
  Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.
  
  > look at the tools
  Every shelf carries its own heap of rusty, quite useless tools.
  
  > examine the carpet
  It's thick and red. Beside the chest of drawers, there are some marks, as if it has been moved recently.
  
  > examine the hole
  A mouse peeks out of the dark.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  an Uzi
  a bowl of eggnog
  
  > show the eggnog to mouse
  You can only do that to something animate.
  
  > drop the eggnog
  The big mouse runs from the hole, jumps into the eggnog, grabs the small one by the neck, climbs out, and disappears into the hole. Still wondering how it could do all that in one turn, you replace the chest of drawers and pick up the bowl of eggnog.
  
  > Go west
  Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.
  
  Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about some new, hip indie music.
  
  Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
  
  Suddenly, Paul appears besides you. He graps the eggnog and gently kisses your chin, sending goose-bumps down your arms. "Thanks, Alex - you're a nice guy. Care to dance?" With that, he takes you to Kitchen, where you dance rather akwardly to  "Umbrella" by Rihanna.
  . But your dancing is interrupted as Paul shoots more and more nervous glances at the buffet.
  "What is it?"
  "Alex, we're running low on food - these people simply eat to fast! I ordered a huge package of noodles and have no idea why it wasn't delivered today. Anyway, we're stuck with a bunch of sandwiches, which disappear as we speak." "Hey" you say "aren't your college types into resolutions and stuff like that?"
  "What the hell?"
  You eye the laptop. "Write a resolution to lazily masticate all sandwiches. That'll slow them down till we figure out the noodle problem."
  Paul stares at you in wonder."Why haven't I met you 10 years ago?" "Because I was in jail. Listen, hook up a printer and get ready to go..."
  "Can't do that. I have a printer upstairs, but no paper."
  "Leave that to me" you say, smiling confidently, and Paul disappears upstairs."
  
  The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.
  
  People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.
  
  On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop, connected to some small speakers, providing music.
  Right now, it's playing: "My name is Jack Mills" by Nitku.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  an Uzi
  
  > Go north
  Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.
  
  Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about their World of Warcraft characters.
  
  Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
  
  > ask the people about the paper
  You have to save this party before you can participate in the idle chat.
  
  > go to the west
  Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.
  
  Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about Second life.
  
  Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
  
  > examine the people
  Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about comparing Tolkien to China Mieville.
  
  > go south
  The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.
  
  People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.
  
  On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop, connected to some small speakers, providing music.
  Right now, it's playing: "Surfing U.S.A." by the Beach Boys.
  
  > Go south
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  The water in the pool is boiling!
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  > drop all
  (the Uzi)
  Dropped.
  
  > climb the wall
  You manage to scramble over the wall.
  
  You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill.
  
  You can see a barrel of glue and a plank here.
  
  > jump
  You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
  
  > drop the glue
  Dropped.
  
  > climb the wall
  You manage to scramble over the wall.
  
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  The water in the pool is boiling!
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see an Uzi here.
  
  > go inside
  You're feeling like becoming the human oyster?
  
  > search the undergrowth
  You fight your way through the bushes.
  
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see an Uzi here.
  
  > Go inside
  You jump into the water fully dressed.
  
  In the Swimming Pool (swimming [obviously])
  You are surrounded by clear, cold water.
  
  You can see a battery-powered lava-lamp here.
  
  > hold breathe
  You hold your breath.
  
  > go inside
  You can't go that way.
  
  You can't hold your breath any longer.
  
  > exit
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see an Uzi here.
  
  > hold the breath
  You jump into the water fully dressed.
  
  In the Swimming Pool (swimming [obviously])
  You are surrounded by clear, cold water.
  
  You can see a battery-powered lava-lamp here.
  
  You hold your breath.
  
  > Dive
  You dive down and grab the lava-lamp, coming up for air and raising it triumphantly over your head. No one cares.
  
  > Leave
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see an Uzi here.
  
  You can't hold your breath any longer.
  
  > Go north
  Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.
  
  Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about that hip, totally awesome new TV show.
  
  Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
  
  > turn on lamp
  Mesmerizing colors begin to swirl in it.
  Slowly, everyones eyes are wandering towards the lava-lamp.
  
  You switch the battery-powered lava-lamp on.
  
  > Search heap
  You roam around in backpacks and hand-bags, probably ruining a few lives by stealing term papers, love-letters, shopping lists,
  everything that's Din A4 and has nothing written on its back.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  Papers
  
  > examine papers
  The paper you nicked for the sake of this party.
  
  > go west
  You can't go that way.
  
  Suddenly, Paul appears, balancing a heavy printer on his arms, cables in his mouth. "Didya manage to get some paper?"
  You nod, handing them to him. He balances them gracefully on top of
  the printer.
  "Great. Why don't you enjoy yourself then?"
  You move out into the Garden Area, enjoying the cool night air. Suddenly, there is a commotion in the house. Paul stumbles out of the glass doors, face pale.
  "It's Hubert" he says, biting his lip.
  "Hubert?"
  "A German exchange guy I dated last year. Liked his accent. Anyway, I dumped him when I found out he was here to lead a camp of militant Nazi.("Hey" you mutter absent-mindedly. "Hobson's Law.") He didn't like that to well. Now he's over there, stone drunk. Dressed like Hitler (must've mixed up New Years Eve and Halloween, oh these Eurotrash guys) and waving a piece around. Looks like he thinks those people in there are his hostages, and he will kill them If I don't surrender myself to him. I'm glad all those folks in there seem to be a bit too stoned to realize what's happening." He fondles your hair and breathes into your ear. "Could you look into it?"
  You smirk. "What? After realizing you dated a Nazi?" Paul leaves a trail of laughter, as he disappears to some other part of the -y.
  
  Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)
  
  A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
  
  You can also see an Uzi here.
  
  > take Uzi
  Taken.
  
  > Go north
  The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.
  
  People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.
  
  On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop, connected to some small speakers, providing music.
  Right now, it's playing: "They" by Jem.
  
  > Go north
  Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.
  
  A blond, tall guy in a Hitler uniform strolls around the room.
  
  Everyone stares at the lava-lamp. Time for a clever metaphor about snakes and flutes.
  
  Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
  
  You can also see a battery-powered lava-lamp here.
  
  > look at Hitler
  The costume isn't convincing for a second. The guy is tall, blond and rather muscular (you know see what Paul liked in him), the moustache made of shoeshine. He is waving a stub-nosed .38 around, murmuring German under his breath. He looks and sounds and smells pissed.
  
  > shoot hitler
  Deciding to solve this the American way, you aim in Hubert / Hitlers general direction and fire. There are weak moans of protest as the blood splattered corpse flips over one of the couches and out of play ...er... sight.
  There is a moment of silence as the people look at you, all pondering the possibilities here:
  1) you shoot a man to save a meaningless party and for the odd chance of getting laid.
  2) This was a piece of performance art.
  Deciding on the latter, there are some weak claps of applause.
  You bow, then throw the Uzi after the corpse, mumbling: "We'll clean
  up tomorrow."