text: [Themes: horror, horror, humor, villain protagonist]
  
  "SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR GODDAMN SCREAMING YOU BITCH! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!" you yell at the woman strapped to the table.
  
  Normally you don't mind the screaming, indeed it can even bring a smile to your face, but right now you're trying to write a love poem to your sister and it's very difficult to focus when someone's screaming for help. You have no idea why either, it should be painfully obvious to her by now that nobody's going to come in to play white knight.
  
  "Alright I can't take this anymore. Some people are so inconsiderate!" you say taking your scalpel and turning on your camcorder on the tripod. "Subject number: 483, proceeding to dissect vocal cords."
  
  With a couple of quick flicks of your wrist and cuts with your scalpel and it's done. No more screaming. As you sew her throat back up, you giggle a bit since your patient looks a little funny attempting to scream, but nothing coming out. You remember back in the old days you didn't have such skill and you resorted to cutting out their tongues. Very messy! But medical school paid off eventually. Sometimes you can forgive ol' Mom for pushing you into becoming a doctor, when she wasn't beating you with a ballpeen hammer that is.
  
  Now back to the matter at hand, your love poem to your beautiful sister. Your anniversary is coming up and Hallmark just doesn't make cards for this occasion. Ah, just thinking about her gives you a big pink boner. You begin to grab yourself in a naughty way.
  
  Fuck! There's the doorbell! It's probably those fucking Mormons again!
  
  > ignore it; you forgot where you placed the vagina anyway!
  You can't let anything distract you from your task at hand. You let the doorbell ring and whoever it is goes away eventually.
  
  "Okay, let's see, what rhymes with disembowel?" you think. You continue to write with a focus that's often only unleashed when you're immersed in your murderous activities or fucking sis. Actually it's amazing how often those two can overlap sometimes.
  
  You remember one time you and sis were in the car on top Lover's Point, with nobody else around looking at the moon and stars. You two were getting hot and heavy with the kissing, you felt up her tits, she grabbed your dick and she was just putting her luscious lips on your sperm syringe when this FUCKING BUM came knocking on the window begging for fucking change! Man, were you fucking PISSED! You couldn't think of anything else except doing this piece of shit scum lots of bodily harm. You got out of the car and the first thing you did was throw the shitbum to the ground and started smashing his face into the pavement! His whimpers of mercy meant nothing to you. You then beat his nutsack into a bloody mush to match his face! When you were sure he wasn't breathing anymore, only then did you look around to see your sister standing nearby leaning against the car, playing with her clit the whole time you were beating this piece of shit to death. God that was a fucking major turn on! You immediately bent her over and fucked her good and hard on the hood of your car and didn't stop until you (and her) were fucking spent.
  
  Ah good times...
  
  FUCK! There's the doorbell AGAIN! You can't resist this time, you HAVE to answer it and take care of fucking business. You grab an axe and head upstairs. When you answer the door you're met by 2 young men in white shirts and black ties.
  
  Fucking Mormons...
  
  > chop them up right now!
  You can't contain your hatred! You can't stand Mormons, they come to your fucking door, you kill them, and fucking MORE show up! AARRRGH!
  
  Before they can even say, "Do you know the teachings of Joseph Smith?" you swing your axe and split the skull of one of them, causing a spray of blood to gush from his head and fall to the ground! As the other turns to run, you push him forward causing him to lose his balance and trip down the stairs, breaking his neck...but not killing him. A gruesome display of bone just barely sticking out of the flesh makes you laugh.
  
  "I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my arms!" the Mormon screams.
  "No shit, your neck's broken, bitch!" you say and carefully carry him in the house and lay him on the sofa. Pity he can't feel pain anymore below his neck, but you've got plans to do experiments. You drag the other one with the axe in his head in the house and close the door.
  "For God's sake kill me and put me out of my misery!" he screams.
  "I thought you guys were against assisted suicide." you say.
  "That's Catholics!"
  "Oh yeah that's right. I had a couple of those a few days ago. They were begging for death too, after I removed their intestines through their assholes. You know I told them that I would end the agony with a quick death if they renounced God. And guess what? They did. Funny how easy people throw away what they believe in when under terrible pain. Hmmm I wonder if you'd do the same..."
  "You...monster! God will punish you for your inhumanity!"
  "Perhaps...but not today. Now how to get you to feel pain, after you went and broke your neck? Ah! I got it! Now don't you go anywhere!"
  
  > go get some fish hooks from the basement
  You run down to the basement and grab some fish hooks, before you leave, you check on your other patient who is now unconscious. You take time out to admire your previous snip and sew work. When you get back upstairs you find that your sister is home surveying your work.
  
  Uh oh, you just realized you didn't finish your poem to her.
  
  > continue your experiment
  Well if you're in trouble, you're in trouble, might as well continue what you're doing.
  
  "Hey baby! How are you?" you say getting ready to put the fish hooks into the man's eyelids.
  "I'm very tired and I had a hard day." Sis replies
  "Yeah, I know the feeling, I was working on a poem for you, and THESE fucktards, interrupted me."
  "Hm, so you didn't finish it?"
  "No, but I almost did, I'll give it to you tomorrow..."
  "AAAAAAAAAGH! NO! STOP!" the man screams.
  "Just as well, I'm a little too tired to appreciate it right now anyway, but I want it finished by tomorrow!"
  "Oh you got my word on that baby!" you say and jam the hooks in the lower lids which results in more screaming.
  "Okay well I'm going to bed. Remember to eat something; I know you can get really focused when you do this sort of thing."
  "Will do sis." You say as she kisses you on the cheek and goes upstairs.
  
  As you continue to torture the shit out of your religious patient, you think how lucky you are to have such an understanding woman. You just thought of how to finish up your poem, you'll comment on her accepting nature.
  
  Yes, you certainly are a lucky lucky man you think.