text: [Themes: Travel, Historical, Humor, Victorian, male protagonist, silly, volcano, kid-friendly]
  
  > Look around
  I am in the basket of the balloon, high, though not high enough
  above the foothills of the Andes. A strong wind drives us ever closer to the volcano; torrents of molten lava cascading down its sides like rivers of fire! Attached to the ropes that hold the balloon aloft is a brass altimeter, the one and only piece of aeronautical equipment that has not been sacrificed.
  I see a carpetbag here. The carpetbag seems to contain a Egyptian mummy.
  Hubert Booby stands in the corner of the basket, peering at me suspiciously.
  A St. Bernard dog is lying fast asleep on the floor of the basket, oblivious to the drama unfolding before him.
  
  > Inventory
  I have a string of handkerchiefs, a rubber mallet, a sewing kit, a pair of scissors, a hatchet, a cigarette lighter, a trombone, and a smudge stick. The sewing kit seems to contain a ball of yarn and a needle.
  
  > take the coat
  I try to pull the overcoat off over Hubert's head, but only succeed in pulling Hubert over onto his back. "Let go of me, you maniac!" he cries, clambering to his feet.
  
  > examine Hubert
  Hubert is a man of prodigious girth, pasty and unhealthy looking with slicked down hair and beady little eyes that follow me about. He is wearing a large, bulky overcoat and a shapeless felt hat. He is carrying a boomerang.
  
  > take the boomerang
  After a brief struggle, I manage to wrest it from Hubert's grip. "Put that down at once!" cries Hubert.
  
  > throw the boomerang
  I throw the boomerang with all my might. It spins away into the clouds.
  
  The balance between the weight of the balloon and the lift provided by the gas is so delicate that jettisoning even a very light object causes an immediate vertical displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around three hundred feet in altitude.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes...
  
  > Inventory
  I have a string of handkerchiefs, a rubber mallet, a sewing kit, a pair of scissors, a hatchet, a cigarette lighter, a trombone, and a smudge stick. The sewing kit seems to contain a ball of yarn and a needle.
  
  > unwedge the funnel with the scissors
  I don't recognize that sentence.
  
  I don't know the word "unwedge".
  
  > put the scissors in the funnel
  Done.
  
  > take the scissors
  Taken. "Put that down at once!" cries Hubert.
  
  > put the yarn in the needle
  If you want me to sew something, just tell me and I'll do it then.
  
  > hit Booby with the mallet
  Hubert screams as I near him with the mallet.
  
  > take coat
  I try to pull the overcoat off over Hubert's head, but only succeed in pulling Hubert over onto his back. "Let go of me, you maniac!" he cries, clambering to his feet.
  
  There is a strange whistling sound from behind me...
  
  THUD! Much to Hubert's amusement, the boomerang hits me on the back of the head.
  
  > yell in the trumpet
  I yell "WAKEY WAKEY!" directly into the ear-trumpet. The dog stirs slightly, its rear paws twitching involuntarily; but still it does not wake. Obviously I need to make an even louder noise...
  
  > look at the trombone
  A rather battered, but still serviceable trombone. There appears to be something wedged in its funnel.
  
  There is a strange whistling noise, and a second later a loud crack as the boomerang returns, hitting Hubert on the back of the head. Hubert yelps with pain and the felt hat topples to the floor with a heavy thump. As it hits the floor a large cuckoo clock, which Hubert had been concealing under it, drops out and lands by my feet. The clock immediately begins to chime...
  
  > cut the lining with the scissors
  I don't think there are any further items hidden in the lining...
  
  The clock chimes three times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > examine the clock
  A ridiculously ornate carved wooden clock with a small door in the front to allow a wooden bird to pop in and out every quarter of an hour. I fancy it was damaged when I knocked it off Hubert's head, since the cuckoo seems to have gone beserk, and it is quite impossible to read the time since the hands are spinning like dervishes!
  
  The clock chimes five times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > take the hat
  Taken. "Leave that alone!" cries Hubert.
  
  > look in the hat
  There's nothing in the shapeless felt hat.
  
  The clock chimes three times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > throw the hat
  I drop the ratty old hat over the side of the basket. As it tumbles away into the clouds, Hubert screams "You imbecile! My great uncle Percy wore that hat during the Charge of the Light Brigade! It was his dying wish that I should wear it every day of my life!"
  
  The equilibrium of a balloon in the air is so sensitive that the loss of an almost insignificant weight can produce a very appreciable displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around one hundred feet in altitude.
  
  The clock chimes seven times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > put the clock in the trumpet
  I can't put anything into the ear-trumpet.
  
  The clock chimes four times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > look at the clock
  A ridiculously ornate carved wooden clock with a small door in the front to allow a wooden bird to pop in and out every quarter of an hour. I fancy it was damaged when I knocked it off Hubert's head, since the cuckoo seems to have gone beserk, and it is quite impossible to read the time since the hands are spinning like dervishes!
  
  The clock chimes three times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > throw the clock
  I am not carrying the the cuckoo clock.
  
  The clock chimes seven times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > take the clock
  Taken.
  
  The clock chimes three times. "CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!"
  
  > throw the clock
  I hurl the cuckoo clock over the side of the basket. It continues to chime long after it has disappeared into the wreath of thin cloud that hovers below us.
  
  "You maniac!" screams Hubert, shuddering like a Quaker. "That clock was to have adorned the kitchen wall of my dear Aunt Gertie. Its hourly chiming would have reminded her when it was time to make my tea, run my bath and a thousand other duties incumbent upon her as my legal guardian!"
  
  The balance between the weight of the balloon and the lift provided by the gas is so delicate that jettisoning even a very light object causes an immediate vertical displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around five hundred feet in altitude.
  
  > hit the funnel
  What do you want to hit it with?
  
  > Mallet
  I bash the trombone with the rubber mallet. To my surprise, a cricket ball pops out of the funnel. I must ask Hubert how that got in there...
  
  > Blow trombone
  I place the trombone to my lips and blow. It emits a few strangulated notes. The St. Bernard, upon hearing this leaps four feet into the air, sending the ear-trumpet flying into space. He seems to be fully alert now!
  
  > take the dog
  I throw myself upon the dog, in an effort to cast it over the side of the basket, but he seems to think that we are playing a game, and wriggles free of my grasp.
  
  > take the mummy
  I carefully lift the Egyptian mummy from the carpetbag and heave it over my shoulder. "I wouldn't touch that if I were you," says Hubert "it's cursed!"
  
  > drop the mummy
  Dropped.
  
  > throw the stick
  I toss the smudge stick over the side of the basket. After all I can't imagine what I might have needed it for...
  
  The equilibrium of a balloon in the air is so sensitive that the loss of an almost insignificant weight can produce a very appreciable displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around one hundred feet in altitude.
  
  > show the ball to the dog
  Which ball do you mean, the ball of yarn, or the cricket ball?
  
  > ask Booby about the dog
  "He came free with the cuckoo clock." says Hubert. "I'm afraid it is the laziest hound I have ever encountered - nothing but the loudest noise will rouse him."
  
  > look at the dog
  Booby must have picked up this enormous hound during our short stopover in Switzerland. It is amazing to consider that he has been carrying it around ever since! The dog is sitting on his haunches, looking up at me through soulful brown eyes. A small barrel of brandy is attached to the collar around his neck.
  
  There is a strange whistling sound from behind me...
  
  THUD! Much to Hubert's amusement, the boomerang hits me on the back of the head.
  
  > Examine barrel
  The barrel is attached to the dog's collar. There is a small tap on one side allowing me to drink from it.
  
  > take the barrel
  Why bother when I can drink the brandy without removing the collar!
  
  > drink the brandy
  I help myself to a little of the brandy. Most refreshing!
  
  > drink the brandy
  "Do it yourself!" cries Hubert, "I am feeling somewhat fatigued of late. It must be the altitude. Why don't you let some gas out of the balloon?"
  
  > push Hubert
  The St. Bernard looks at me blankly. Either it has not been trained to obey commands or it only speaks German.
  
  > ask Booby about blue Ibis
  "Oh, it's probably just mumbo-jumbo," says Hubert airily, "but those Egyptian graverobbers who sold me the mummy also told me that anyone who defiled or desecrated the body would fall victim to the Curse of the Blue Ibis. I'm no expert on these things," he continues with an unmistakable air of smugness, "but I rather suspect that hurling the mummy out of a balloon might count as an act of desecration."
  
  > take the mummy
  I heave the Egyptian mummy over my shoulder.
  
  > throw the mummy
  I heave the mummy over the side of the balloon and watch as it plummets earthwards. As the mummy disappears from sight the sky seems to darken; the light alpine cloud coalesces into forbidding thunder clouds. The ominous silence is broken by a piercing shriek like that of an exotic bird...
  
  "Now you've done it!" cries Hubert, shaking like a leaf and paler than ever, "We're both doomed now. Did I not tell you about...
  
  ...THE CURSE OF THE BLUE IBIS?"
  
  Unburdening the balloon of this large, heavy object causes a sudden and immediate gain in altitude of one thousand feet.
  
  > look at the altimeter
  The altimeter is currently reading 15,300 feet above sea level. In order to clear the volcano in safety we must reach an altitude of 20,000 feet!
  
  From somewhere towards the east there is a piercing shriek; the shrill cry of some exotic bird!
  
  > look at the bird
  The Ibis, an Egyptian wading bird, is said to be the messenger of Osiris, ancient Egyptian god of the dead. To see one flying at an altitude of 15,300 feet above the Ecuadorian Andes is quite, quite incredible; one might even say supernatural...
  
  > examine the bag
  This is by far the largest example of a carpetbag I have ever seen!
  It must contain enough carpet to carpet the Taj Mahal! The carpetbag is open. There's nothing in the carpetbag.
  
  The Blue Ibis gives a piercing cry as it draws closer and closer to the balloon...
  
  > throw it
  I hurl the empty bag over the side of the basket. Hubert merely glares at me for a moment.
  
  The equilibrium of a balloon in the air is so sensitive that the loss of an almost insignificant weight can produce a very appreciable displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around one hundred feet in altitude.
  
  The Blue Ibis gives a piercing cry as it draws closer and closer to the balloon...
  
  > Light smudge
  I light the smudge stick with the cigarette lighter, then blow it out, allowing the scented smoke to waft around the balloon. It could be my imagination, but from somewhere I hear the distant sound of drums and a Cherokee medicine man chanting. From above there is a raucous shriek, and I look up to see the Blue Ibis vanish into the sweet smelling smoke like something out of a dream...
  
  Red hot embers fly from the smudge stick...
  
  > throw the stick
  I toss the burning smudge stick over the side of the balloon.
  
  The equilibrium of a balloon in the air is so sensitive that the loss of an almost insignificant weight can produce a very appreciable displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around one hundred feet in altitude.
  
  > look at the altimeter
  The altimeter is currently reading 15,800 feet above sea level. In order to clear the volcano in safety we must reach an altitude of 20,000 feet!
  
  > throw lighter
  I think I shall hang on to the lighter. It is very light, and one never knows when one might need one.
  
  > examine the trombone
  A rather battered, but still serviceable trombone. It now appears to be free of obstructions.
  
  > play the trombone
  I have never studied music, but the noise that emits from the instrument when I place it to my lips is not entirely unpleasant. Hubert, who is clutching his ears, seems to be of a different opinion.
  
  > throw it
  Having no further use for it, I cast the trombone out of the basket. Hubert merely sighs and rolls his eyes at me.
  
  The balance between the weight of the balloon and the lift provided by the gas is so delicate that jettisoning even a very light object causes an immediate vertical displacement. In this instance, the balloon gains around five hundred feet in altitude.