text: [Themes: love & dating]
  
  > Continue
  Bob: Hello and welcome to the New, Quick Dating Game! I'm Bob, and I'll be your host.
  
  This is just like the old dating game, only it is new! Yay, new!
  
  For those audience members new to the game, I'll describe how it works. Over here we have our lovely single lady, ready to go on a date with one of our eligible bachelors. On the other side of this wall here, where she cannot see them, are our three bachelors who hope they will win her heart or at least an all-expenses paid date with our single lady. Speaking of that date, Don, tell us where our winners will be going!
  
  Don: Well Bob, our winners will get an all-expenses paid dinner date to the Waffle House on the Frontage Road! Yes, they will get picked up at their homes by Larry's Discount Limousines and he will take them to the side door at the Waffle House (contestants must arrange for their own rides home). Once there, they will enjoy any items and entrees they select from the special, limited time Waffle House "Deal Menu." They'll be served by one of the career Waffle House waitresses and won't even have to pay the tip. Back to you Bob!
  
  Bob: Thank you, Don.
  
  Now our special single lady is going to get to ask four questions of our bachelors here. That's all, just four. Not five. Not three (except she will ask three before she gets to four, of course). Eight is right out. Anyway. She will ask those questions, listen to the answers, then she will select one of these wonderful sholobs, err... contestants to join her on that date.
  
  Next, let's meet our bachelor contestants.
  
  Bachelor number one is Max Power. Max, tell us about yourself.
  
  Bachelor Number One: Well Bob, I'm a very successful life coach and motivational speaker. I help people find their strengths in life and I let them know how to focus on that strength to unlock their own power. And I live in a VAN down by the RIVER!
  
  Bob: Thanks very much Max. On to bachelor number two. This is Sherm Gazorn. Sherm?
  
  Bachelor Number Two: Thank you Bob. I am Sherm. Sherm Gazorn. I am the night manager of a 24-hour convenience store down on 17th street. I am also taking some classes at the community college where I'm working towards..."
  
  Bob: Thanks, that's enough Sherm, we only have so much time here. Now finally we're on to bachelor number three. Bachelor number three, introduce yourself!
  
  > By Ogre11
  Bob: Hello and welcome to the New, Quick Dating Game! I'm Bob, and I'll be your host.
  
  This is just like the old dating game, only it is new! Yay, new!
  
  For those audience members new to the game, I'll describe how it works. Over here we have our lovely single lady, ready to go on a date with one of our eligible bachelors. On the other side of this wall here, where she cannot see them, are our three bachelors who hope they will win her heart or at least an all-expenses paid date with our single lady. Speaking of that date, Don, tell us where our winners will be going!
  
  Don: Well Bob, our winners will get an all-expenses paid dinner date to the Waffle House on the Frontage Road! Yes, they will get picked up at their homes by Larry's Discount Limousines and he will take them to the side door at the Waffle House (contestants must arrange for their own rides home). Once there, they will enjoy any items and entrees they select from the special, limited time Waffle House "Deal Menu." They'll be served by one of the career Waffle House waitresses and won't even have to pay the tip. Back to you Bob!
  
  Bob: Thank you, Don.
  
  Now our special single lady is going to get to ask four questions of our bachelors here. That's all, just four. Not five. Not three (except she will ask three before she gets to four, of course). Eight is right out. Anyway. She will ask those questions, listen to the answers, then she will select one of these wonderful sholobs, err... contestants to join her on that date.
  
  Next, let's meet our bachelor contestants.
  
  Bachelor number one is Max Power. Max, tell us about yourself.
  
  Bachelor Number One: Well Bob, I'm a very successful life coach and motivational speaker. I help people find their strengths in life and I let them know how to focus on that strength to unlock their own power. And I live in a VAN down by the RIVER!
  
  Bob: Thanks very much Max. On to bachelor number two. This is Sherm Gazorn. Sherm?
  
  Bachelor Number Two: Thank you Bob. I am Sherm. Sherm Gazorn. I am the night manager of a 24-hour convenience store down on 17th street. I am also taking some classes at the community college where I'm working towards..."
  
  Bob: Thanks, that's enough Sherm, we only have so much time here. Now finally we're on to bachelor number three. Bachelor number three, introduce yourself![Themes: sci-fi, post-apocalyptic, dystopia, villain protagonist]
  
  The greatest desire in every man's heart
  
  More than his longing for riches or art
  
  More than he wishes himself to be king
  
  Wants more than any material thing
  
  There's only one feeling greater than love
  
  Family forgotten in memory of
  
  Nothing can beat it for nothing compares
  
  More coveted still than water or air
  
  The greatest desire for all of mankind
  
  All from the dull to the brightest of minds
  
  We covet it more than justice or truth
  
  Better than beauty and better than youth
  
  It's why we create and why we destroy
  
  All in the searching and longing of joy
  
  [Author's Note: When the scientists at HappyCo created a one time injection that makes you feel nothing but happiness for the rest of your life, people lined up to get it. Unfortunately, the world soon found out that happy people aren't motivated to do much of anything and the global economy collapsed. There's no real estimate on how many people didn't get the mandatory injection but Mike, a serial killer in Texas, is determined to find as many of them as possible.]
  
  > Mike
  It was so nice back in the old days. It was three simple steps and that's it:
  
  Kindap
  
  Torture
  
  Kill
  
  The kidnapping actually got a lot easier after the government shut down and killing got easier too, since nobody puts up a fight anymore. The glaring problem is simple: torture stopped being fun! I used to revel in the screams and pleas of my victims, but ever since HappyCo™ made their Happy™ injection, most everyone has been Happy™ all of the time. Happy™ people don't feel pain and they don't care if you tie them down and cut off their digits one by one. I would've written HappyCo™ a downright meanspirited letter of complaint if HappyCo™ still existed.
  
  > find unHappy(TM) people
  There was only one thing to do: find someone else who never got the Happy™ injection. I stepped out the front door of my house and headed towards downtown Sugar Land. I had barely left my house since the apocalypse, so I was a bit surprised at how many people I saw. Honestly, I figured most people were dead at this point since Happy™ people forget to feed themselves most of the time. The people around town were all Happy™, just wandering around aimlessly and smiling. I walked up to a middle-aged woman, "how have you been keeping yourself alive all this time?"
  
  Most Happy™ people are nonverbal but some could still think clearly enough to say a few words. She smiled blankly, "tears," was all she said. I couldn't get any more information out of her.
  
  I kept walking and finally made it to downtown. I looked carefully at every face I passed but they all wore stupid grins. Suddenly, I heard a loud blood-curdling scream: something Happy™ people never do. I quickly ran towards the noise. In front of the post office were two people, two regular people that is. A man held a woman from behind, a knife to her throat. She wasn't screaming anymore, but the fear was painted on her face clear as day. The man looked around frantically, like he was looking for someone and the woman seemed to see he was distracted. She started pulling something out of her boot, something shiny. It was a knife! I didn't know which of them was going to win in a knife fight, but I decided to step in. One of them was going to be my ticket to finding victims, after all.
  
  > help the woman
  I ran up to them as fast as I could and pushed the man down. Once he was down, it was easy to pull the knife away from him. I quickly plunged the knife into his neck, killing him instantly. It felt orgasmic to see the light leave his eyes.
  
  I looked at the woman, she was shaking and obviously terrified. "Please don't hurt me," she whimpered.
  
  Looking at her, I knew there was no way she was surviving on her own. She had to be part of a group and I just needed to be the good guy to be invited in. "I won't hurt you," I said softly, "he was going to kill you, I just thought it was my duty to protect a lady."
  
  She still looked scared but she smiled for a moment. "thank you. Those guys have been hunting us down. I-I don't know why" She wiped away her tears.
  
  "Us?"
  
  "Yeah, I'm with The Egalitarian Apocalypse Rescue Society or T.E.A.R.S. for short. Our mission is to feed all the Happy™ people we can. They may be less than human now, but life is still precious. Do you...agree?"
  
  > Join T.E.A.R.S.
  T.E.A.R.S. was a very friendly organization. They were fifteen people strong and apparently originally were a church group that opted out of the mandatory Happy™ injection due to religious objections. Truthfully, I only got out of it by faking my own death.
  
  The headquarters was their old church and they fed Happy™ people through a combination of farming and using old canned food from grocery stores. To not blow my cover, I helped too. It was honestly a nice life, though it was weird to help people instead of killing them. I stayed good for a number of weeks but my appetite for murder was beginning to itch.
  
  > kill them
  It was easy, they were all so gullible. I told them I needed help at the jail and they actually came. Locking all the members in the cells was easy too. Then it was just a matter of torturing and killing them all at my leisure. What an absolute blast.