text: [Themes: fan fiction, humor]
  
  You lean in close to hear whatever it is that the vampire is whispering you the Creature from the Black Lagoon. You can barely make out the whispered words above the bar noises, but from what you gather it has something to do with the type of bar you are in.
  
  The two are laughing hystericly and walk past you to the table. You look around the bar trying to figure out what is so damned funny about the bar you are in when suddenlty it hits you.
  
  There are no women in this bar. You are partying in a queer bar. The Mummy is a fucking fruit. You knew he was into bondage, but this is a whole new game. Maybe he didn't know, you say to yourself hoping that is the case.
  
  You make your way back to the table shaking your head and counting your lucky stars that no one can see you. If the gays can't see you, they cannot hit on you, right?
  
  But that's the weird thing about queers, you muse. They have the stereotype of being ultra aggresive sexual beasts when the reality is that they simply have an alternate preference than the majority of people. It is, in actuality, your lack of a comfort level with your own sexuality that makes you uncomfortable to be around them. You fear that they will hit on you, but isn't it really the same as an ugly bitch hitting on you? You just turn them down, right? No, you realise, it is not exactly the same. Gays have dicks, ugly chicks, no matter how ugly, still have vaginas.
  
  But no one hits on you anyway. You're invisible.
  
  You are seriously weirded out now, and as you look subconciously towards the exit you notice a trio of short people walking into the bar. You do a double take and realise that they are children. Children should not be in a bar! Especially not this type of bar! You do a triple take and realise that these are no ordinary children; these are the Children of the Damned. Alien bastards implanted in the wombs of innocent women.
  
  These kids seriously freak you out. You are thankful that they also cannot see you, being invisible has more advantages that locker room access.
  
  You look to the exit again as the children make their way to the bar. You want desperately to escape the presence of these creepy fucking kids. Vampires and werewolves you can deal with. But alien halfbreed children are another story, in another book, in a whole 'nother section of the fucking library.
  
  Perhaps this would be a good time to exit?
  
  > stay. Who cares about the kids? You're here to have a good time with the rest of the monsters, right?
  You decide that you should stick around. It is a reunion after all, and it's not like anyone left it to you to decide who needed invited.
  
  Besides, you're invisible, if you don't feel like being sociable, you can just be all quiet and they'll think you left. Ha! Being invisible has its more advantages than just being able to sneak into changing rooms and women's showers after all!
  
  "Hello, Invisible Man," the little blonde girl with the glowing eyes says to you.
  
  "How did you know I was here?" You say, a little shocked.
  
  "It's not often that beer mugs levitate of their own accord," She says smugly, the little bitch. The three children around her laugh at the stupidity behind your question.
  
  The fucking children of the damned are a smug bunch of little shits.
  
  "I heard they remade your movie with actors," You say. If they can be assholes, then damn it, so can you.
  
  Not missing a beat, they counter your remark like the super intelligent arrogant fuckers that they are; "I heard they were going to remake your movie," The girl begins.
  
  "But realized that no one would want to see that drivel," one of the boys finishes.
  
  "Bastards," you say. They have no response to this, as they are in fact bastards with alien fathers.
  
  Their eyes begin to glow and they look at you, but you just turn to the side and avoid their gaze. Fucking wankers just can't take it when someone gets the best of them.
  
  Eventually they give up on attempting to mentally attacking you, it seems they can't get you if they can't meet your eyes. They walk away in unison to the table around the Mummy and talk amongst themselves about whatever it is that alien half-breeded freaks talk about between one another.
  
  You drink at you beer and start to walk over to the Wolfman, who slaps a hand against the side of his face. "Yeah!" He says, "I got him!"
  
  "Got who?" The Creature from the Black Lagoon asks.
  
  "This fucking fly has been buzzing in my ear all night," he says, "It's been driving me nuts."
  
  Dracula's mouth drops open, Frankenstein smacks himself in the forehead.
  
  > Gross, you have Blob on your leg! Fucking sick!!
  "Ah fuck!," you exclaim, "I got blob on my fucking leg!"
  
  You look down at the blob in utter disgust. "You are the most revolting shapeless mass I have ever had the displeasure of knowing!" You say to it.
  
  It shies away from you, evidently offended by your outburst. If blobs could cry, you are certain that the Blob would have tears flooding from whatever the blob equivelant of eyes would be.
  
  You watch as it makes it's way to the barm solemnly rolling along, a trail of blob slime in its wake.
  
  "You're an asshole, Invisible," The bride of Frankenstein says to you.
  
  But you are aware of this, and you shrug your shoulders as though anyone can make out your invisible non verbal gestures. You take down what remains of your beer and stand there silently as the Blob eventualy reaches the bar.
  
  Suddenly and without warning the blob begins to consume things. At first it simply absorbs a barstool, and had you not been watching, you probably wouldn't have noticed. Then, however, the blob's outrage becomes more severe and less controlable.
  
  It makes contact with and absorbs a nearby customer, then the bar and more surrounding stools. Panic ensues within the establishment as the blob gains in it's immense size and continues to reek havok on the Monsters Lounge.
  
  "I hope you're happy," Wolfman says to you.
  
  You briefly wonder how he knew that you were still around, but are cut off from this line of thought when the edge of the blob suddenly comes within a few inches of your leg.
  
  Your monster freinds have already made their way to the door, but you find your way blocked by the ever expanding, all consuming shapless mass.
  
  You back away in terror, part of you finding it hard to believe that a shapeless mass whom you scoffed at in the old days is suddenly filling you with an overwhleming amount of fright laden apprehension.
  
  You back up slowly until your back touches the wall. That's when you realise that there is no hope for you. Perhaps this is all karmic retribution, you think. Perhaps you diserve this.
  
  Suddenly the blob touches you and you feel it all go suddenly numb. The blob spreads to cover your body and everything is numb.
  
  What was everything becomes nothing, and nothing becomes all.