text: [Themes: fantasy, humor]
  
  Alexis must be destroyed in this game of chess... his constant ridicules and anger are too much to handle. You are noble, and deserve better than this. Plus you are completely innocent and have done nothing to deserve such aggression and anger...
  It is time to invite him for another game.
  You invite him however no times seem to be acceptable to Alexis. He continues to evade your requests for a game, and though he is the one who refuses to play due to "prior engagements" such as "having to redecorate the house" (he is taking some home redecorating lesson from his wife... Alexis is more woman than Baron!), he continues to shout out insults in messages from his fastest riders! He calls You a WOOSIE repetitively. However just as the nobles are beginning to realize that perhaps there is little behind Alexis, and he is in fact fearful of you Stan, he decides to accept an invitation, for a soon to be Friday night, but only if the presence of such greats as your Loyal Steed Kevorsello, (he wants you to even lose in front of your horse!), your good friend Georgiovanni (as well as your best knight!), and your squire Stevonnovich (the boy who draws your baths too!). This is too much! How dare he ask for such conditions to play you! However he has evaded you long enough and will continue to do so. Turning down this challenge could be a sign of your lack of bravery...
  
  > accept the Challenge!
  You send a messenger to Alexis, telling him to show up promptly at 8 on Friday, and you will cut him down in front of all those that he has requested. You suggest he brings his wife... the barronness Katriana, a beautiful maiden who
  Alexis forced into marriage with his evil ways in the past, however you know that he will not. His wife would not approve of him doing such manly things as playing a game of chess. She would prefer he redecorate. You begin to wonder why you were ever friends with such an evil individual at all!
  Soon the day arrives. You have your loyal steed, your great knight, as well as your Squire all present when there is a knock on the palace door. Your servents open it, and in walks the evil Baron Alexis, dressed in black and equipped with long sword in Sheath on his back.
  "No weapons in this friendly household Alexis!" you scream, however he laughs as he walks to the table with your friends gathered around and sits down on the black side of the chess board... it suits him.
  "my sword Porkrine comes with me wherever I am! It is the sign of my manliness!"
  you laugh to yourself as you realize that he needs a SIGN to show off his manliness... your giggling however is cut short as he says "ENOUGH OF THIS COMMON TALK! LET US PLAY, AND DETERMINE THE RULER OF ALL OF CHESSIE!!!"
  the ruler of Chessie! what is he talking about!
  
  "now listen here Alexis!" you scream out, "this is nothing more than a friendly game of Chess! The winner is nothing more than the winner, and the loser nothing more than that as well... there will be no special prizes won or lost. I simply hope that no matter what the outcome, that you will quit these angry messages to the kingdom and to myself!"
  
  he replys quickly back with a sharp tongue! "enough of your jabber! of course this is for the throne! if you win the nobles will surely grant you the kingdom for your bravery for playing me, for there is no better chess player in all the land! However you WILL NOT WIN! And when I win, I will slaughter you and your friends and there will be no one to stand up against me! BWAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!"
  slaughter? gulp! you have no sword... perhaps he's right.. perhaps there's nothing you can do...
  except run...
  
  > forget the Weapons! You will destroy Alexis where it counts! In chess
  "THEN BEGIN ALREADY" you yell to the evil Baron, as you move your kings pawn up 2 squares.
  he seems surprised and a bit frightened with your opening move. It is truly the sign of nobility to open up the king in the beginning... and a sign of confidence
  you watch Alexis Gulp as he moves his knight...
  the game continues for some time... queens out, knights out, rooks out...
  
  Alexis's heckling is beginning to wear on you... you are getting angry. Perhaps playing from raw emotion would be better than playing from sense? what do you think...
  
  > forget Sense! You will beat him with pure raw emotion!
  You decide to begin playing from raw emotion. You move your pieces to kill, who are then killed in turn. You don't care. You hope for a no sum game, where you both are devestated in the process, then perhaps you could get a queen back at the end of the game with a pawn..
  You lose sensibility in your movements of pure raw emotion, and find that you are losing quite badly.
  though you have taken out all of his small pieces, he still has a queen and two rooks left, while you are left with only a knight and 3 pawns.
  It is not long before you are trapped and destroyed.
  "CHECK MATE!" He screams out loudly!
  
  you snap out of it... playing from raw emotion is not a good idea and you know that. It is good that you had this quick vision (recieved from a sensible strong intellect and a strong knowledge of chess) that allowed you to realize this before it becomes too late.
  Now let's beat him with sense!
  
  > Must keep your wits!
  We must keep our wits about us if we wish to defeat the evil Baron in this viscious game of chess (did he just cheat?? you sware you just saw him swipe a piece... no use confronting him about it... he'll just deny it anyways!)
  You think quickly and begin to running through the moves in your head. You take the next piece and the next, but the game is getting close to the end.. and he is moving in on your side of the board
  "YOUR KING WILL BE MINE!!! BWAHHAHAHAHAH" he screams out loudly
  you see a wide open move... a simple but effective move. You could move your queen over two spaces and then while he's setting up your check mate you could move that queen all the way up to destroy him once and for all. His king is blocked by a single pawn on the other side of the board. With your rook backing you up there's no stopping you... but it's a pretty obvious move.. maybe we should use a psych technique...
  
  > There is no reason to attempt to psych him out... His stupidity will lead to his own downfall.
  No need to psych Alexis out! I can destroy him without any types of special tactics that show my intelligence!
  You decide to make the move but he sees it rather easily. It is not long before you decision to move that queen comes back to haunt you. he blocks off his king better then moves in for your death...
  after 3 moves he screams out in his evil fury while lifting Porkrine in his talons "CHEEEECKKKK MAAAAAATTEE BWAHAHHAHAHH" the sword comes down and cuts off your squires head, before swooping around and taking off yours
  
  luckily that didn't happen... it was all just a vision that you saw because of your good planning..
  you realize that to defeat the evil alexis is very simple... you need to make him feel like he's winnning.. psych him out a bit then kick him where it hurts!
  Try out those psych techniques!
  
  > Must make sure that Alexis does not win!
  "Listen Alexis I don't have all day will you move already?" you scream out heckling the evil home decorator baron after your queen is in place. He doesn't see her in his rage-blindness and stupidity.
  "YOU WILL DIE STAN BWAHHAHAHAHAH! ONLY NEED ONE MORE MOVE AND YOU ARE DEAD THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO! HHAHAHHAHAHA" he begins to loosen the strap holding Porkrine, his sword, in.
  however you smile cleverly as you move your queen up to position, right in the face of the black king.
  "checkmate" you say slyly. there was really nothing to it. alexis was not a hard match... he was in fact easier then most you have played... even then those servants who play such a 2 dimensional game. You laugh at him and scream to your faithful knight
  "now get him out of here, I am sick of seeing his face"
  "yes your highness" yells out Georgiovanni as he grabs Alexis and begins to bring him outside.
  But alexis, full of evil rage screams out "YOU WILL DIE FOR THIS STAN! DIIIEEEEE!!"
  Alexis evades the grasp of Georgiovanni, and cuts him deeply with Porkrine... Georgiovanni lay gasping... "i... hate... porkrine... hate!"
  Alexis runs right at you Stan! what do you do?
  
  > face him with no weapon!
  You decide to face him without a weapon...
  you run head on to him, but he impales you on his sword, and laughs as the blood slowly drains from your body...
  the last thing you see is him laughing with blood dripping all over him...
  and you fade into unconsciousness!
  
  you know that, so you just had a quick vision of what would happen if you DID!
  Let's do the real thing, and take him out... you need to get a sword, so let's order your faithful steed to try to trample him down while you go to get a sword... that makes the most sense...
  
  > Must get your sword! Order your faithful steed to your aid!
  You order your faithful steed Kevorsello to attempt to trample the evil Alexis while you run to the armory to get a sword!
  Your horse runs in front of him but is cut down quickly by the evil effectiveness of the sword Porkrine... It's cold steel tastes horrible to your horse as he falls to the ground dead.
  You have yet to make it to the armory... and only one friend left! what do you do?
  
  > Must mourn over the loss of such a great friend...
  You stop running and decide that you should cry for the horses death.. you walk over to the horses body screaming "MONSTER HOW COULD YOU TO SUCH AN INNOCENT HORSE!"
  right before he takes a swipe and cuts your head off with the evil sword. Your lifeless body falls to the ground still twitching
  
  FORGET MOURNING you think to yourself! that will just get me killed! Let's get the squire to take care of this threat!
  
  > Must order your squire to protect you!
  "Squire! Take care of this man while I go to get my sword!"
  the squire jumps up from his seat and throws a bucket of water (that he was saving for your bath for later) onto the ground. Alexis slips and falls on the water! You now have enough time.
  you run to the armory and grab your favorite sword, the great sword of the ruler of chessie! The chessie-king sword!
  you walk back into the main room with your sword. Alexis await you, in one hand he holds the head of your squire which he throws at you.
  "your sword is no match for PORKRINE! BWAHHAHAHAH! YOUR DAY OF DEATH HAS COME!"
  he comes lunging at you, but now that you have your sword of honor, you feel confident, you parry to the side, avoid his attack, and swipe quickly and deeply.
  the evil baron alexis recieves a whopping chomp! right into his stomach...
  he falls to the ground, his intestine hanging out.
  
  white always wins, especially when you're the one behind the pieces, you think.
  you look at his pitifull form and shake your head.
  time for the final blow
  
  > He does not deserve to live! Administer the FINAL BLOW!
  You decide to administer the final blow!
  You raise your sword and chop off the head of the baron Alexis.
  the screaming continues from the head as it flings across the room! Suddenly the whole body, head and all burst into flames, and fall to the ground as ashes.
  In seconds the ashes are taken away out of the house by an evil whirlwind of dark ash.
  It exits the door, but first you hear his evil voice "I WILLL BE BAAACCCKKK STAAAANNNNN! YOOUUU WOOOOSSSIIE!"
  He left Porkrine behind... what are you going to do with that evil sword??? Nobody will use it!
  You rush over to georgiovanni.
  He seems to be doing okay, you order him bandaged and then run out to order a huge meeting of all the nobles.
  
  At the nobles meeting, they commend you for your bravery and irradication of the greatest evil in all of Chessie. They crown you Chessie King, and bow before you, while remarking that the evil Alexis sounds like he was really an easy opponent, and a Woosie at that.
  
  Months, years went by, and the Kingdom of Chessie was at pure peace. There was no draugh, no famine that had infected the land earlier. And there was no return of the evil Alexis for a second rematch... so your Chess skills are beginning to decline.
  but luckily Stan, you don't have to worry about that because the evil Alexis will never return due to fear of you and the knowledge that he is really a poor chess player and to the fact that he in fact is the Woosie, though your noble blood would never allow you to say that...
  
  But amongst the shadows and the evil in the woods of your kingdom, a rumor is growing that maybe somewhere out there, alexis is preparing a come back. preparing dayly, playing constantly for that next rematch... which will probably never come