text: [Themes: love & dating, humor]
  
  Bob: Whew, it's almost over. Rita just gets to ask one more question of the bachelors, then she has to pick one. Good luck with that, Rita.
  
  Rita: Thank you, Bob.
  
  Bob: We also want to take this moment to thank RonCo, our sponsor for tonight's show. And knowing the reputation of RonCo, you can tell where this show is going and exactly what it's worth. My paycheck better not bounce.
  
  But back to the show. Rita, have you considered your last question?
  
  Rita: I have Bob.
  
  Bob: I hope you have put some thought into this one, because this is your last question and you're going to have to pick one of the bachelors after their answers.
  
  And no, I'm sorry, you cannot pick me. And you can't pick anyone other than one of the three bachelors. Well, I suppose you can, but if you want the studio to actually pay for your Waffle House dinner, you've got to go with one of these three. I'm not saying you have to talk to them while you're there, but you do have to eat at the same table. Or booth.
  
  Rita, are you ready with your last question?
  
  Rita: Yes I am Bob.
  
  Bob: Any day now.
  
  Rita: What?
  
  Bob: Your question.
  
  Rita: Is supposed to be a day?
  
  Bob: Rita, let's get busy!
  
  Rita: Here, on the stage?
  
  Bob: What is your final question for the bachelors?
  
  Rita: Oh, that. Now bachelors, I know we have already talked about previous dates. Now I want to hear about your last girlfriend. Why are you all single?
  
  Bob: They're all such catches, I'm not sure anyone knows. But hey, Bachelor Number Two, go ahead and tell Rita about your last girlfriend. And no, your mom doesn't count.
  
  Bachelor Number Two: Oh, that's pretty funny, Bob. I guess you've had people here on your show like that who are all like, "Oh, my mom this" and "my mom that." I'm glad I've got a better mom than that.
  
  My last girlfriend was French. Oh yeah. She knew how to do stuff like French people do. Actually I met her on the Internet. Well, actually she lives in France and hasn't ever been here, so I haven't actually seen her in person. I mean she was still my girlfriend and all, just ask her. Well, you can't really ask her since she changed her e-mail address. But she was hot. She told me she was.
  
  Bob: Well there you have it, Rita, a real winner there. Bachelor Number One, do you want to see if you can top that?
  
  Bachelor Number One: Sure thing, Bob. Hey Rita, my last girlfriend was nice. Oh she wasn't as nice as you are, I can just tell. But we went on a few dates and we both knew that we just weren't meant for each other. I'm looking for a soul mate, someone who just gets me. Do you "get me" Rita? 'Cause I'd sure like to "Get you," if you know what I mean.
  
  Bob: Wow. Rita, I just don't know how you're going to make a choice from all these babe magnets. But wait, there's still one more to go. Bachelor Number Three?
  
  > She couldn't handle you because you were just too hot.
  Bob: Well, there you have it. Rita, you've got a tough choice coming up here.
  
  Rita: Bob, I think I'd like...
  
  Bob: Rita, it's not your turn to talk. We've got to keep the home audience waiting just a few moments more. You think about your decision while the network shows this great commercial from one of our great sponsors. I'm going backstage to get a drink.
  
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  Bob: So there you have it. Now, as Rita continues to think about which bachelor she will choose -- you are still thinking, right Rita?
  
  Rita: I am Bob.
  
  Bob: I thought I smelled something burning. Great, well while she continues thinking, let's not forget our parting gifts. Those bachelors not lucky enough to be selected by the lovely Rita won't go home alone. While they might still be looking for a date, they'll take home a parting gift from one of our sponsors. Don, tell us about the parting gifts.
  
  Don: I'd love to, Bob.
  
  Bob: Don't care, Don. Get to talking so I can get back to drinking.
  
  Don: Some of our guests (I don't really know which ones) will get a box of Rice-A-Roni. Yes, they are the San-Fran Cisco treats. You get one box, and hey at least that beats a sharp stick in the eye -- which I've heard some of our competition gives out to their losers, err, guests who didn't win. Others of our guests will get a free travel box of scented Kleenex. The perfect gift for those who have just been rejected and have a long ride home, alone. Back to you Bob.
  
  Bob: Finally, okay Rita, have you made your choice?
  
  Rita: No Bob, I've been waiting like you told me backstage.
  
  Bob: No I mean, ah nevermind. Rita, tell us who you have selected. Will it be Bachelor Number One, Bachelor Number Two, or Bachelor Number Three?
  
  Rita: Bob, I pick...