text: [Themes: Satire, Fantasy]
  
  > look at the eagle
  The eagle's much too far away for you to really get a good look at him. He must be looking for something to eat. He's quite large, probably the largest bird you've ever seen. I wouldn't want to tangle with him.
  
  > Wave
  What do you want to wave?
  
  > Wave wand
  "Fool!" a voice thunders. "Do you really think I'd help you get across *my* gorge? Are you mad?"
  
  > go to the north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a trowel and a pillow here.
  
  > go to the west
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  > drop all but the robe
  thin wand: Dropped.
  pair of erasers: Dropped.
  sword: Dropped.
  shiny knife: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  wine bottle: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  long rope: Dropped.
  oar: Dropped.
  small cardboard box: Dropped.
  brown book: Dropped.
  
  > go to the west
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a trowel, a pillow, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a sword,
  a shiny knife, a black stone, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, a long rope, an oar, a small cardboard box, and a brown book here.
  
  > jump on the trampoline
  You jump on the trampoline and leap into the air. For some reason, you can really get some altitude here inside the gazebo. You come down and bounce again, higher and higher. The bell's almost in reach; in fact, you can just about grab the edge - suddenly, you find yourself -
  
  You're hanging on the edge of the bell, a good fifteen feet above
  the gazebo floor. The height is making you quite queasy, and the gentle rocking of the bell isn't helping you any. You can't seem to let go; you're having trouble prying your fingers from the bell's shiny surface. The only exit is (gulp) down.
  
  > look at the bell
  The bell is hanging from the steeple roof. It's exquisite workmanship, polished and shiny. Since you're hanging on for dear life from one edge, it's rather hard to examine it fully. Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > hit the bell with the pickaxe
  Attacking the bell doesn't appear productive. Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > go east
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a trowel, a pillow, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a sword,
  a shiny knife, a black stone, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, a long rope, an oar, a small cardboard box, and a brown book here.
  
  > Pickaxe
  spade: Dropped.
  pickaxe: Dropped.
  
  > put the stone on the bell
  There's no good surface on the bell. Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > climb the bell
  I don't know how to climb the bell.Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > look in bell
  There's nothing in the bell. Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > ring bell
  Are you crazy? If you rang the bell in your position, you'd fall for sure. Your grasp loosens and you plummet to the ground. Thankfully, the trampoline was right underneath you, and you land uninjured.
  
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > go east
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a trowel, a pillow, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a shiny knife, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, a long rope, an oar, a small cardboard box, a brown book, a spade, and a pickaxe here.
  
  > put the stone on door
  You stick the magnetic stone on the steel door. It stays on for a moment, then falls off; I guess the magnet's not very powerful.
  
  > examine the pilot light
  Yep, it's out all right.
  
  > turn on the oven
  The pilot light's gone out; you can't turn the oven on.
  
  > examine the pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a brass lamp (providing light), a bronze ring (being worn), and a lump of gold.
  
  > hit panelling with the sword
  I don't think you'll get anywhere by attacking the panelling. If you really want to get it off the walls, try pulling it.
  
  > examine the linoleum
  The linoleum lines the walls and ceiling, shiny and hideous. Tiny letters along one wall read "Acme Dam Kolorphul Lih-know-lee-uhm."
  
  > cut it
  What do you want to attack it with?
  
  > take the shelf
  The shelf is firmly attached to the wall; you're not getting it off.
  
  > count the carvings
  There is one (1) grotesque carvings.
  
  > Count beams
  There is one (1) roof and eight (8) sagging wooden beams.
  
  > count the droplets
  There is one (1) metal droplets.
  
  > go north
  The steel door is closed.
  
  > go to the north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a trowel, a pillow, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, a long rope, an oar, a small cardboard box, a brown book, a spade, and a pickaxe here.
  
  > Diagnose
  You're in peak condition.
  
  > drop all but the robe
  black stone: Dropped.
  sword: Dropped.
  shiny knife: Dropped.
  
  > Go north
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see a trowel, a pillow, a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, a long rope, an oar, a small cardboard box, a brown book, a spade, a pickaxe, a black stone, a sword, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > get all
  trowel: Taken.
  pillow: Taken.
  thin wand: Taken.
  pair of erasers: Taken.
  wine bottle: Taken.
  jade figurine: Taken.
  long rope: Taken.
  small cardboard box: Taken.
  brown book: Taken.
  spade: You've already got your hands full.
  pickaxe: You've already got your hands full.
  black stone: Taken.
  sword: You've already got your hands full.
  shiny knife: You've already got your hands full.
  
  > put all but the robe in the pocket
  brass lamp: The brass lamp is already in the pocket!
  bronze ring: The bronze ring is already in the pocket!
  lump of gold: The lump of gold is already in the pocket!
  oar: Done.
  trowel: Done.
  pillow: Done.
  thin wand: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  pair of erasers: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  wine bottle: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  jade figurine: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  long rope: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  small cardboard box: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  brown book: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  black stone: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  > get all
  spade: Taken.
  pickaxe: Taken.
  sword: You've already got your hands full.
  shiny knife: You've already got your hands full.
  
  > check your inventory
  You have a robe (being worn), a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a wine bottle, a jade figurine, a long rope, a small cardboard box, a brown book, a black stone, a spade, and a pickaxe.
  
  > Drop
  What do you want to drop?
  
  > DROP BOTTLE, BOX, BOOK
  wine bottle: Dropped.
  small cardboard box: Dropped.
  brown book: Dropped.
  
  > go southwest
  The lakeshore here becomes a stretch of white sand, glaring in the
  fall sunshine. Further south, the land becomes rocky and too difficult to travel; a bit further on, the tip of the awesome Dawg Rock is visible. [9]  You can hear the thunderous crash of water to the south as the lake empties through the Rock. The lake stretches before you to the west. The only way to go appears to be back along the shore to the northeast.
  
  You see a corkscrew here.