text: [Themes: Satire]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design, counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on. The living room is west.
  
  > Kiss kunkel
  Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
  
  You can also see the Kunkel here.
  Ugh.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > eat the rucksack
  (first taking the rucksack)
  You're carrying too many things already.
  
  > put all in the sack
  "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition": Done.
  variegated mimesis plant: Done.
  Chinese food: Done.
  toy: Done.
  red cardboard box: Done.
  juice glass: Done.
  
  > eat the rucksack
  (first taking the rucksack)
  That's plainly inedible.
  
  > Smell rucksack
  The sack smells revoltingly of pork byproducts.
  
  > taste it
  Something like pork rinds, only really disgusting.
  
  > go north
  Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC.
  
  A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
  
  You can also see the Kunkel here.
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > Smell kunkel
  The Kunkel smells of sweat, adrenaline, and poor hygiene. Add that to the stench of the Scrappelizer...
  
  The kunkel flinches and swears.
  
  > Taste kunkel
  No.
  
  The kunkel yelps.
  
  > Wear goggles
  (first taking the VR goggles)
  
  Wow! Virtual reality really does work! With a sensation of great speed, you are transported to....
  
  The attics, full of low beams and awkward angles, begin here in a relatively tidy area which extends north, south and east. The wooden floorboards seem fairly sound, just as well considering how heavy all these teachests are. But the old wiring went years ago, and there's no electric light.
  
  > get the map
  The bedroom is a mess.
  It is a small bedroom with a faded carpet and old wallpaper. There is a washbasin, a chair with a tatty dressing gown slung over it, and a window with the curtains drawn. Near the exit leading south is a phone.
  
  > wait for a while
  A tide of perambulators surges north along the crowded Broad Walk. Shaded glades stretch away to the northeast, and a hint of color marks the western edge of the Flower Walk.
  
  > wait for a while
  You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
  
  > wait
  You stand at a point of decision on a road which makes a wide fork to the northeast and southeast, circling the base of the Lonely Mountain, which looms high overhead to the east. A very long and winding road starts here and stretches out of sight to the west through low, smoky hills.
  
  > wait awhile
  You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully.
  
  > Wait
  The bedroom is a mess.
  It is a small bedroom with a faded carpet and old wallpaper. There is a washbasin, a chair with a tatty dressing gown slung over it, and a window with the curtains drawn. Near the exit leading south is a phone.
  
  This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod bulkhead is closed.
  
  > Wait
  An undistinguished bar, yet the social center of Upper Sandusky. The front door is almost lost amidst the hazy maze of neon that shrouds the grimy glass of the south wall. Doors marked "Ladies" and "Gents" lead, respectively, northeast and northwest.
  
  > Wait
  The attics, full of low beams and awkward angles, begin here in a relatively tidy area which extends north, south and east. The wooden floorboards seem fairly sound, just as well considering how heavy all these teachests are. But the old wiring went years ago, and there's no electric light.
  
  > drop the map
  Well now, you just did an end run around the whole idea of the Curse Of The Meldrews, didn't you? Your impulsive action has destroyed the entire fabric of the multiverse, and you along with it.
  
  > get the Masterpieces
  You open the computer, revealing "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition".
  Taken.
  
  > Wear goggles
  You put a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" into the computer. (first taking the VR goggles)
  You put the goggles on, but they show nothing, so you remove them.
  
  > Wear the goggles
  You close the computer.
  
  Wow! Virtual reality really does work! With a sensation of great speed, you are transported to....
  
  A dull metal corridor, lit by flickering lights. The corridor continues west and ends in a pink door to the northeast with a pink keyhole. Painted in drippy blood on the wall are the word Shangri-La and an arrow pointing west.
  
  The pink door bars passage to the northeast.
  
  You hear a sinister giggling from the west somewhere.
  
  > go to the northeast
  You can't, since the pink door is in the way.
  
  A fearsome "HONK, HONK!" echoes from the western corridor.
  
  > Key
  You insert the key into the keyhole. It throbs and vanishes. The door opens, like a flower blooming.
  
  Loud, sensual moans are coming from the west and approaching rapidly.
  
  > Go northeast
  Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2
  This is a tiny room full of evil-looking machines and flashing lights. The only exit is southwest.
  
  You can see Black here.
  
  "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby.
  
  > attack black
  You beast! Fortunately, (at least for karmic justice) before you can attack, there comes a noise from the doorway.
  
  A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area. Your big gun is no match for their power. Swiftly they crush you to death between their thighs.