text: [Themes: horror, humor, post-apocalyptic, zombie]
  
  It is a dark and stormy night. No, I'm just screwing with you. It's actually a bright Thursday afternoon. You, however, are not having fun in the sun; rather, you are hiding out in your bathroom, clutching a hat rack. Why are you in this situation, you ask? Because there is a zombie on the front lawn.
  
  You are Ray. The crowning achievements of your life include maintaining a part time pizza delivery job, being the local champion at beer pong, and recently having passed your sophomore year in college (third time's the charm.)
  
  Until a week and a half ago, you were sharing this lovely 1-bedroom home on the outskirts of Cowperston (a respectable suburban community) with your 3 roommates, a veritable brigade of stand-up fellows. But on that fateful day, you awoke to an emergency broadcast outlining some important details about corpses; namely, that they were rising from their graves to feast on the flesh of the living. Fun. Your roommates didn't come home from work that day, and you've been hiding out in the bathroom ever since.
  
  As comfortable as it is in here, you've gradually become aware that you cannot continue like this forever. You're down to the last bag of Funions and the electricity is out, which means that you can't even go watch porn in the basement.
  
  While it is inevitable that you'll have to leave this place soon, you have a troubling task ahead of you. In order to get to your car, you'll need to kill the zombie on the front lawn.
  
  [Author's Note: So I had this amazing idea, see? I'm pioneering this new genre of storygame. I call it the "zombie game." It involves playing as a "survivor" trying to protect yourself in a world filled with "zombies." I know, it's a new and radical idea; but try it, you might like it. Updated on June 29, 2012: fixed some typos and added some more content. It's now a complete game of its own, and does not demand a sequel as it did before the update.]
  
  > let's do it
  You step out of the house brandishing your hat rack and move toward the zombie - with some trepidation, if truth be told. He's dicking around near the mailbox. When you get close, he turns to face you. Quite a handsome guy, really. The embalmer did a good job. As you raise your hat rack to strike, he says: "BRAINZ!!"
  
  You swipe the rotter across the face, and although it leaves a nasty imprint, he raises his arms and takes a step towards you. You react the logical way: by smashing the butt of the hat rack into his face another 20 times or so. Finally, you hear a satisfying 'crack!' Down he goes.
  
  One might expect you to be a little traumatized by having to kill something that was once human, but you've played enough Left 4 Dead to get over it quickly. You hop in your '97 Camry with the 'La Trattoria Pizzeria' sign on top: a reliable means of transportation, if not mint condition, and peel out amidst the familiar rustle of the beer bottles on the floor.
  
  Before you go any further, you're going to need some idea where you're going. (A daunting task, but I'm sure you can come up with a brilliant plan.)
  
  > go into town for supplies
  The road into town is littered with the occasional car wreck, no doubt the result of panicking citizens desperate to leave town. It's pitiful how some people must have reacted to this zombie thing. They should have kept a cool head and hid in the bathroom instead.
  
  You do not encounter anyone - zombified or otherwise - on the way.
  
  As you approach the town center, you notice an increasingly large amount of gore strewn about on and near the road. Not only do you witness the remains of slain undead, but also an unsettingly large amount of severed human body parts. Fun.
  
  You see black smoke in the distance, coming, you think, from nearby the Stop n' Go supermarket. This could indicate a number of different things, hopefully not that the food you were hoping to loot is on fire. And let's not rule out the possibility that evil space pirates are attacking the grocery. If you decide not to go there, however, that pretty much leaves you looting the corner store, where there's surely not as much food and everything smells like the bad cologne the Indian cashier wears way too much of.
  
  > Go see what's happening at the grocery
  As you near the grocery, you discover that the smoke is coming from a burning pile of corpses and tires near the road; and, pulling into the parking lot, you take note of a pair of guards armed with rifles at the door. Even though they're wearing pretty traditional jeans and t-shirts, you know they're legit because they both have sunglasses. From what you can see all the way across the parking lot, they seem to be watching you intently. Might as well have rolled out a red carpet!
  
  Now, you might decide to leave and not attempt to enter the grocery. After all, these guys probably don't want to share their food with everyone and his cousin. Or, you might try to walk on in like you own the place. What's the worst that can happen?
  
  > try the corner store instead
  You decide to turn around and go to the corner store instead. Momentarily, you arrive. It's quiet. Too quiet.
  
  As you enter the store, hat rack in hand, you are surprised to hear,
  
  Well, what do you know! The cashier is still at his post.
  
  "Uh, hey man. How's business been lately?"
  
  "Ees velly goot."
  
  "Oh. Okay." You proceed, over the course of several minutes, to pile every food item in the store on the counter as the visibly pleased cashier scans it all in.
  
  "Dis 547 dolla, 99 cent." Well, that's a problem, because you only have 20 bucks in your wallet. Damn it! This shit would be a lot cheaper at the grocery. And this turn of events leaves you with only 2 options...
  
  > leave with no supplies
  So you struck out on the food. No big deal. I'm sure you can eat your foot or something.
  
  > eat your foot
  After the short drive home, you remove your right foot with a kitchen knife and saute it in a nice white wine reduction with tarragon and whip up some shallot roasted potatoes to go with it. Delicious! You then bleed to death.