text: [Themes: Humor, Fantasy, strong NPCs, gnome, cave crawl, humor, maze, memorable NPC, intelligent pig, cave, nonhuman protagonist, kid-friendly, orc, fantasy, cute, strong characterization, humour]
  
  Pig lost! Boss say that it Grunk fault. Say Grunk forget about closing gate. Maybe boss right. Grunk not remember forgetting, but maybe Grunk just forget. Boss say Grunk go find pig, bring it back. Him say, if Grunk not bring back pig, not bring back Grunk either. Grunk like working at pig farm, so now Grunk need find pig.
  
  Grunk think that pig probably go this way. It hard to tell at night time, because moon not bright as sun. There forest to east and north. It even darker there, and Grunk hear lots of strange animal. West of Grunk, there big field with little stone wall. Farm back to south.
  
  [Author's Note: Pig lost! Boss say that it Grunk fault. Say Grunk forget about closing gate. Maybe boss right. Grunk not remember forgetting, but maybe Grunk just forget.]
  
  > remove the pants
  OK, pants off.
  
  > Inventory
  Grunk have:
  torch (on fire)
  pants
  
  > Light pants with torch
  Grunk set pants on fire. Mmm. Grunk like fire.
  
  > eat the pants
  Ow! That burn Grunk tongue.
  
  > examine Grunk
  Grunk orc. Big and green and naked.
  
  Grunk hear noise! It come from some place in bushes, but Grunk not sure which way it come from.
  
  > listen
  Grunk get quiet. Listen for noise in dark.
  
  When Grunk really quiet, try looking around some more. There, hear noise again! It come from northeast. Must be pig, hiding in bushes.
  
  > eat the bushes
  (Grunk take forest first)
  That not thing that Grunk can carry around.
  
  > Break bushes
  BAM! That fun! Not really do much, though.
  
  > Smell bushes
  Grunk sniff around bushes for pig smell.
  
  Grunk not see it, but Grunk pretty sure that pig hiding in forest to northeast.
  
  > go to the northeast
  If that where pig go, that where Grunk go. It hard to see where Grunk going to, because there so much dark and leaves and branches here. Then suddenly, there not ground here any more!
  
  Oof! Ow! Umf! Ugh!
  
  Grunk fall down deep hole! Drop torch and pants. Torch and pants go out when Grunk land on them, so now it dark, too.
  
  Grunk at bottom of deep, dark hole. It even smell like deep, dark hole. There some light that come from tunnel to east; that how Grunk see where Grunk at. Look like there maybe stairs at west side of hole that go up to outside, but them all broken now. There big crack in ground near stairs, too.
  
  Grunk see pants (black and sooty) and torch (black and sooty) here.
  
  > Smell
  Smell like hole deep under ground.
  
  > Taste pants
  (Grunk take pants first)
  Grunk chew on pants, but pants too tough. And them need ketchup.
  
  > eat the torch
  (Grunk take torch first)
  Bleh. Torch taste like burnt.
  
  > eat Grunk
  Grunk taste salty.
  
  > examine the stairs
  That where Grunk fall down into hole. Stair go up pretty high. Made of rock, but rock all falling apart, so stair not much good for climbing anymore.
  
  Look like some person leave little metal thing on step.
  
  > examine the metal thing
  Look like little metal tube, size of Grunk thumb.
  
  > eat it
  (Grunk take tube first)
  Hmm. It not easy, but...
  
  Gulp!
  
  OK. (Tweee.) All gone.
  
  > Break stairs
  Grunk remember last time Grunk try hitting rock. It hurt Grunk more than it hurt rock.
  
  > Inventory
  Grunk have:
  torch (black and sooty)
  pants (black and sooty)
  
  > Pray
  OK. Grunk feel little bit better now.
  
  > Xyzzy
  Grunk not know that word. Sound like magic, though.
  
  > get the tube
  OK, got it.
  
  > eat the tube
  Hmm. It not easy, but...
  
  Gulp!
  
  OK. (Tweee.) All gone.
  
  > Cough
  Cough! Tweeeeee!
  
  Grunk cough. Cough cough. COUGH! Ptoo. Clink.
  
  Grunk cough up tube. Feel better now.
  
  > Cough
  Grunk cough.
  
  > touch Grunk
  Uh, OK.
  
  > Dance
  OK, got it.
  
  Grunk not good at dancing. Like singing better.
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Grunk telling story!
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Story not too big.
  
  > Sing
  La la la! It all about Grunk.
  
  > Sing
  La la la! And it all about pig!
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Grunk out at night time.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Looking all around.
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Grunk fall down hole.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > Sing
  La la la! End up under ground!
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Uh. Grunk not think of any more word. So Grunk just go la la la some more!
  
  > Sing
  La la la! Grunk telling story!
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > look
  Grunk at bottom of deep, dark hole. It even smell like deep, dark hole. There some light that come from tunnel to east; that how Grunk see where Grunk at. Look like there maybe stairs at west side of hole that go up to outside, but them all broken now. There big crack in ground near stairs, too.
  
  > Go east
  All wall in this room glow! It bright, just like day time. Except that instead of sun, it wall that glow. And instead of grass and tree, it square room with four wall. And instead of outside, it all under ground. But beside those thing, it just like it! Tunnel keep going out to east and west, but normal doorway go north and southeast and southwest.
  
  In middle of room, there fountain. But fountain not have any water.
  
  South wall have big curtain hanging on it.
  
  Hey! There pig! It good thing that Grunk fall down same hole as pig.
  
  > catch the pig
  Grunk walk right up to pig. Pig walk right away from Grunk.
  
  > Chase pig
  Pig run away. So Grunk run after pig. Then pig run around behind Grunk and around front of Grunk and Grunk get dizzy. What Grunk doing again?
  
  > Grunt
  Pig stare at Grunk like Grunk crazy.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL
  [** Programming error: tried to test "has" or "hasnt" of not anything **]
  PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK
  [** Programming error: tried to test "has" or "hasnt" of not anything **]
  PIG ABOUT MAKING FIRE or GREET
  [** Programming error: tried to test "has" or "hasnt" of not anything **]
  PIG. And that just what Grunk think of. There probably lots of other thing Grunk can talk about too.]
  
  > hit the PIG
  Grunk think that farmer maybe get mad if Grunk bring back broken pig.
  
  > Drool
  Ptoo!
  
  > Kiss PIG
  Grunk rather kiss... um. Thing that not pig.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > throw pants at the PIG
  Pig squeal loud! It jump out of way of pants just in time. Then it give Grunk dirty look.
  
  > talk to the PIG
  Pig ignore Grunk. Grunk think it do that on purpose.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT MAKING FIRE or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY. And probably other thing too.]
  
  > ask the PIG about the farmer
  Pig oink and shake head.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT MAKING FIRE or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY. And probably other thing too.]
  
  > feed the pants to the PIG
  (Grunk take pants first)
  Rarr! Grunk run at pig. Pig run from Grunk. Pig and Grunk run around and around room! Whee!
  
  After little bit, both Grunk and pig get tired and stop running. That fun! Wonder if pig have as much fun as Grunk.
  
  > tell the PIG about Grunk
  Pig make rude noise.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT MAKING FIRE or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY. And probably other thing too.]
  
  > ask the PIG about the PIG
  Pig grin and bow.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT MAKING FIRE or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY. And probably other thing too.]
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > sneeze
  Sneezing not thing that Grunk can do when Grunk want. It just happen some time.
  
  > ask the PIG about making the fire
  Pig snarl and sniffle. Then pig sniff air and make rude sound at Grunk.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY or TELL PIG ABOUT PIG. And probably other thing too.]
  
  > Yawn
  Grunk yawn.
  
  Pig yawn.
  
  > Burp
  What Grunk burn?
  
  > examine the fountain
  Old stone fountain with big bowl part and other squirty part in middle and lots of little bit that stick out all over. Grunk think it meant to look pretty. Squirty part not work, though, so there no water in it.
  
  Pig go east.
  
  > East
  Tunnel come to little cave here, but wide stream block way east. Grunk not see much on other side. Not know if tunnel keep going or stop here. Only light that Grunk see come from bright room, far off to west. But Grunk hear lots of water.
  
  There stone bench next to stream.
  
  Seeing over there not easy in dark, but Grunk think there little reddish thing on other side of stream.
  
  Pig here too.
  
  > look at Grunk
  Grunk orc. Big and green and naked.
  
  Pig look back down long tunnel.
  
  > Xyzzy
  Grunk not know that word. Sound like magic, though.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > tell PIG about the farmer
  Pig snarl and sniffle. Then it walk little way away. And oink and oink and oink.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY or TELL PIG ABOUT PIG. And probably other thing too.]
  
  > Break bench
  Grunk remember last time Grunk try hitting rock. It hurt Grunk more than it hurt rock.
  
  Pig sit under bench for little bit. Then come back out.
  
  > put the pants on the head
  But then Grunk get all sooty too!
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  Tunnel come to little cave here, but wide stream block way east. Grunk not see much on other side. Not know if tunnel keep going or stop here. Only light that Grunk see come from bright room, far off to west. But Grunk hear lots of water.
  
  There stone bench next to stream.
  
  Seeing over there not easy in dark, but Grunk think there little reddish thing on other side of stream.
  
  Pig here too.
  
  > examine the bench
  Long and heavy. It made of rock.
  
  Grunk pretty sure it red. Too dark and too far away for Grunk to see any more.
  
  > wash pants
  (with water)
  Grunk stick pants in water. Then Grunk take pants back and look at them. Pants all wet!
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > examine the red
  Grunk pretty sure it red. Too dark and too far away for Grunk to see any more.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  Red thing too far away for Grunk. Stream more wide than arm long.
  
  Pig go over to stream and look in water.
  
  > examine the pants
  Grunk favorite pants. Them brown.
  
  Part of pants look all black and sooty now.
  
  Pants all wet right now.
  
  Grunk never swim before. Not know how. Grunk not even like bath.
  
  > Pet PIG
  Pig see Grunk coming, and it run away to west.
  
  > Clean pants
  (with water)
  Grunk stick pants in water. Then Grunk take pants back and look at them. But pants not look any different.
  
  > Smell pants
  Smell like Grunk. Them Grunk pants.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > Drink stream
  Mmm. Grunk not really thirsty, but water still taste good.
  
  (Tweee.)
  
  > Smell Grunk
  Mmm, smell like Grunk. And like pig. And like dirt. Good smell.
  
  > Cough
  Cough! Tweeeeee!
  
  Grunk cough. Cough cough. COUGH! Ptoo. Clink.
  
  Grunk cough up tube. Feel better now.
  
  > get the tube
  OK, got it.
  
  > Go west
  All wall in this room glow. It bright, just like day time. Except that instead of sun, it wall that glow. And instead of grass and tree, it square room with four wall. And instead of outside, it all under ground. But beside those thing, it just like it! Tunnel keep going out to east and west, but normal doorway go north and southeast and southwest.
  
  In middle of room, there fountain. But fountain not have any water.
  
  South wall have big curtain hanging on it.
  
  > examine the curtain
  Look like big rug, but it on wall instead of floor, so that make it curtain instead. Curtain have big picture of little man on it. Grunk think little man maybe called "gnome". Him holding burning torch in dark cave. Point at way out of cave.
  
  Pig come in from west, sniffing at ground like it try finding some thing.
  
  > Wiggle nose
  Curtain smell normal to Grunk.
  
  Pig try hiding behind fountain. But Grunk see pig easy.
  
  Grunk not know what that mean.
  
  > look behind the curtain
  Gnome in picture have round nose and big ear and funny blue suit and pointy shoe. Hold torch, too.
  
  Grunk push back curtain and peek behind it. Wall back there glow too!
  
  Pig peek over at curtain too.
  
  > show the tube to PIG
  Pig walk toward Grunk and shake head. Then pig oink and scratch at flea or thing like that.
  
  [Grunk can try TELL PIG ABOUT CURTAIN or ASK PIG ABOUT DAY or TELL PIG ABOUT PIG. And probably other thing too.]
  
  > examine your nose
  Gnome in picture have round nose and big ear and funny blue suit and pointy shoe. Hold torch, too.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  Grunk have:
  tube
  pants (black and sooty and wet)
  torch (black and sooty)
  
  > look at finger
  Grunk body part work better when Grunk not think too hard about them.
  
  Pig look inside fountain, but pig not find any water.
  
  > eat the torch
  (torch)
  Bleh. Torch taste like burnt.
  
  > hit Grunk
  Ow! That hurt!
  
  > Crack
  What Grunk crack?
  
  > examine the crack
  Crack wide as Grunk fist, at least at top. It dark, so Grunk not see if anything there inside or how deep crack go.
  
  > Smoke crack
  (Grunk take crack first)
  That not thing that Grunk can carry around.
  
  > reach into crack
  Grunk reach down into crack, but not feel bottom. Grunk arm not long enough.
  
  > Crack crack
  Grunk remember last time Grunk try hitting rock. It hurt Grunk more than it hurt rock.
  
  > Go east
  All wall in this room glow. It bright, just like day time. Except that instead of sun, it wall that glow. And instead of grass and tree, it square room with four wall. And instead of outside, it all under ground. But beside those thing, it just like it! Tunnel keep going out to east and west, but normal doorway go north and southeast and southwest.
  
  In middle of room, there fountain. But fountain not have any water.
  
  South wall have big curtain hanging on it.
  
  Pig here too.
  
  > examine the curtain
  Look like big rug, but it on wall instead of floor, so that make it curtain instead. Curtain have big picture of little man on it. Grunk think little man maybe called "gnome". Him holding burning torch in dark cave. Point at way out of cave.
  
  > take the curtain
  Grunk try pulling curtain down, but it stuck to wall.
  
  > eat curtain
  (Grunk take curtain first)
  Grunk try pulling curtain down, but it stuck to wall.
  
  > draw the curtain
  Grunk try pulling curtain down, but it stuck to wall.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  Grunk have:
  tube
  pants (black and sooty and wet)
  torch (black and sooty)
  
  > Burn curtain
  Need fire for burning. Grunk not have fire.
  
  Pig poke nose behind curtain. But Grunk not think pig find anything.
  
  > move the curtain
  Grunk push back curtain and peek behind it. Wall back there glow too!
  
  Pig snort and squeal and make funny sound at Grunk. But Grunk not know what that mean, because Grunk not talk Piglish.
  
  > Chase PIG
  Grunk look away from pig. Then walk sideways at pig. Grunk hope that pig get confused, think Grunk going other way. But when Grunk get to pig, pig already someplace else!
  
  > jump
  Grunk jump up and then come down again. It always same. Maybe next time, Grunk jump up and not come down. But probably not.
  
  > examine the wall
  All wall in this room glow in dark! Except that since wall glowing, there no dark for wall to glow in.
  
  > Taste wall
  (Grunk take glowing wall first)
  Them not thing that Grunk can carry around.
  
  > hit the wall
  Grunk remember last time Grunk try hitting rock. It hurt Grunk more than it hurt rock.
  
  > Lick wall
  (Grunk take glowing wall first)
  Them not thing that Grunk can carry around.
  
  Pig stick nose on ground and snuff around. Then pig eat thing off ground. Grunk not see what, but it probably bug.
  
  > Search fountain
  Hey, there coin inside fountain bowl! Grunk keep coin, because coin handy thing.
  
  Pig peek over at fountain bowl too.
  
  > examine the coin
  Coin little and shiny, like moon. It look old, but it still mostly shiny grey.
  
  > eat the coin
  Grunk very young when Grunk learn not eat coin. Grunk father get very mad. But Grunk give father back coin next day, so it OK.
  
  Pig blink and squint at bright wall.
  
  > feed the coin to PIG
  Pig not want it. Grunk wonder what pig buy with coin anyway. Pig not have pocket.
  
  Hmm. Grunk not have pocket either.
  
  > feed the pants to PIG
  Pig see Grunk coming for pig before Grunk even know Grunk coming for pig. That one smart pig.
  
  > throw the coin at PIG
  Pig squeal loud! It jump out of way of coin just in time. Then it give Grunk dirty look.
  
  > get the coin
  OK, got it.