text: > look at your surroundings
  This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.
  
  There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.
  
  There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.
  
  There is a coolbox behind the counter.
  
  You can also see a pan and a vending machine here.
  
  > put the ham in Agotron
  You put the ham into the Agotron.
  
  > Close Agotron
  You close the Agotron.
  
  > open Agotron
  After opening the agotron you immediately reek the smell of rotting meat and see a bunch of maggots still enjoying their meal. You quickly close the agotron.
  
  > open Agotron
  You open the Agotron, revealing a bone.
  
  > examine the bone
  This is all that's left of your body...
  
  > go to the south-west
  This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.
  
  There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.
  
  There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.
  
  There is a coolbox behind the counter.
  
  You can also see a pan and a vending machine here.
  
  Behind you, the door closes automatically.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a bone
  a piece of lead
  a nuclear-powered flashlight
  a cake recipe
  a blue keycard
  a pipette (orange substance)
  fifty-one dirty dishes
  a plastic bag
  a green severed hand
  an electromagnet
  a pen
  a diary
  salt
  a red keycard
  a yellow keycard
  a wallet (open but empty)
  a pair of rubber boots
  an used piece of tape
  a ketchup bottle
  pepper
  a treasure chest (closed)
  a crowbar
  a wet mop
  a detergent
  a stapler
  a remote control
  a screwdriver
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a piece of lead
  a nuclear-powered flashlight
  a cake recipe
  a blue keycard
  a pipette (purple substance)
  fifty-one dirty dishes
  a plastic bag
  a green severed hand
  an electromagnet
  a pen
  a diary
  salt
  a red keycard
  a yellow keycard
  a wallet (open but empty)
  a pair of rubber boots
  an used piece of tape
  a ketchup bottle
  pepper
  a treasure chest (closed)
  a crowbar
  a wet mop
  a detergent
  a stapler
  a remote control
  a pan
  a screwdriver
  
  > put the crowbar in the pan
  Iron oxide, in other words rust, is on the list. Still, you doubt this crowbar is rusty enough, and it will probably take a lot of time before that is the case.
  
  > put the crowbar in Agotron
  You put the crowbar into the Agotron.
  
  > open Agotron
  Al that's left of the crowbar is a pile of dust.
  
  You open the Agotron, revealing a pile of rust.
  
  > put the rust in the pan
  You add the rust to the mixture. You will miss that poor rusty crowbar.
  
  > put detergent in pan
  You throw in all of the detergent. Damn, you really don't want to eat that cake.
  
  > put the tape in the pan
  You scrape off the icky alien hairs from the tape and add them to the mixture. You also throw the now completely useless piece of tape away.
  
  > examine the pan
  A pretty big pan without a lid. Its prime use is for cooking, but it also makes a great helmet if you're planning to shoot yourself out of a cannon.
  
  There are some cake ingredients in it.
  
  > put the lead in the pan
  Added.
  
  > put the bone in the pan
  No way, you might still need that bone to rescurrect yourself with some kind of strange voodoo ritual.
  
  ...on the other hand, having to face a zombiefied version of yourself is not a very attractive prospect. You'll add the bone anyway.
  
  > put the salt in the pan
  You add some salt, after which it magically disappears from your inventory.
  
  > put the pepper in the pan
  Even though it will proably ruin the cake's taste, you'll add it anyway.
  
  > use the pipette on the pan
  You empty the pipette in the pan. You hope the fact that the orange tetra-x-ide is distilled with wine won't result in an explosion later.
  
  > use the pipette on the wine
  You suck up some of the wine.
  
  > use the pipette on the pan
  You add one drop of wine to the mixture in the pan.
  
  > put the pan in microwave
  You put the pan into the microwave.
  
  > drop an
  What do you want to drop the dirty dish at?
  
  > put the dish in the pan
  On average, there is about one gram of laxative on every dish. So you'll add 51 dirty dishes to the mixture.
  
  Well, you added all ingredients and now you've got a pan full of garbage. According to the recipe you'll now have to stir this with something.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a pan
  a dirty dish
  a nuclear-powered flashlight
  a cake recipe
  a blue keycard
  a pipette (red wine)
  a plastic bag
  a green severed hand
  an electromagnet
  a pen
  a diary
  a red keycard
  a yellow keycard
  a wallet (open but empty)
  a ketchup bottle
  a treasure chest (closed)
  a wet mop
  a stapler
  a remote control
  a screwdriver
  
  > use the mop on the pan
  You can stir the mixture with this. The only problem is that the mop is still wet and you're not supposed to add any extra water. Maybe you need to somehow dry the mop first...
  
  Ah well, it probably won't matter. You put the other end of the mop in the pan and...