text: [Themes: Fantasy, silly, transformation, surreal]
  
  > look around
  This dead-end alley is littered with words, which almost drown out the intense beats heard elsewhere in the city, and garbage. Only way out is back east.
  
  > examine the garbage
  The garbage smell would make a bear gag--stink bug, gunk bits, etc.
  
  > go east
  Here in this cross between a platform and farm plot lie the shocking red tents of the terminally un- and under-employed. You are quickly excluded from this once-mum commune, since you seem actually busy. An alley lies to the west, a posh shop is to the east, and back south is where you started from.
  
  A driveway with a yard view leads north. You hear painful music.
  
  That lost corn is still in that corner. Sorry if that sounds corny.
  
  A deadbeat is sitting on the ground here, looking dead beat. His eyes dart between you and the lost corn. Clearly, he resents the work your presence is forcing on him.
  
  > go west
  This is some sort of seedy underground intersection with a train station south. You can also go north to what looks like a camp. You see the down escalator you came by. A building to the west advertises itself as The Ol' Hotel.
  
  A large metallic door is to the east. It has a warning graphic repelling any old riff-raff from entering. There's also a sensor off to the side. Probably reads something-or-other to let you in.
  
  What would a beaten-down city be without an ol' hotel? Both have seen better days, but this place has been trashed hardest. Everything's boarded up, and the only way out is east.
  
  A scary Night Thing is here, sitting on some sort of mattress.
  
  A ketchup bottle lies here, torn apart--and you have a prime suspect in the Night Thing that is roaring nearby.
  
  > examine the tomato
  It's as rotten as the motto of Pat Ott's you extracted it from. It is probably even more rotten on the inside, not that you have the bravery to check. Yet it also has that staying power. It doesn't have any mold on it, yet.
  
  > squeeze the tomato
  That's either icky or impossible or both.
  
  > throw tomato at the potato
  A direct hit! The tomato goes into the cruel ulcer, and the Night Thing smiles at first at the ketchupiness of the tomato. Then the inner rottenness and backwards logic from the (oops, a) motto kicks in. The beast wonders what sort of villain would DO that to ketchup. It looks at you in fear, sure you have more where that came from, and retreats into an unseen hole, scratching and clawing.
  
  The mattress the Night Thing was on is slightly but noticeably bumpy. It's also ripped open, and it's concealing something rather badly.
  
  > examine Mattress
  The Smartest Mattress doesn't have a one-page proof of Fermat's Last Theorem in it or anything. It just "remembers" the shape of whatever sat on it for a long, long time. The bump in the mattress is obvious enough that you have to take another look. You find a small machine labeled, apparently, a termite emitter, and you take it.
  
  > examine the machine
  It's a small black box, six inches by six inches. It probably holds a lot of termites. You can switch it when you need to. Someone has scratched a circle with a line through it over a dollar sign. You can't hear or see the termites that should be in there, but hey, faith.
  
  > examine Mattress
  The Smartest Mattress doesn't have a one-page proof of Fermat's Last Theorem in it or anything. It just "remembers" the shape of whatever sat on it for a long, long time. It doesn't seem to have held anything other than the termite emitter.
  
  > turn on the machine
  This place has seen enough abuse. Maybe find one that hasn't?
  
  > turn on the machine
  You activate. They vacate it. It's like a petard--those who prated, depart and ratchet down the chatter. The emitter dies down after the last termite escapes.
  
  > Keycard
  The dry metallic cake turns into a dry metallic keycard, which you take for yourself. Hooray, technology.
  
  > go south
  You migrate, ragtime music in your head. From the south, some camped folks decamp for har-hars and rah-rahs. "Roaches scare! Ho!"
  
  You're the camp's scamp now, so to speak. I bet you could even take that corn now!
  
  Here in this cross between a platform and farm plot lie the shocking red tents of the terminally un- and under-employed. You are quickly excluded from this once-mum commune, since you seem actually busy. An alley lies to the west, a posh shop is to the east, and back south is where you started from.
  
  The cordoned red condo you're not welcome back at is to the north. You hear painful music.
  
  That lost corn is still in that corner. Sorry if that sounds corny.
  
  A deadbeat is sitting on the ground here, looking dead beat. Despite your heroism with the cake in the condo, he barely acknolwedges you.
  
  > Controls
  The different-colored kernels only flatten out as the lost corn collapses into a circuit board. The controls you possess--for whatever--seem powerful.
  
  > check your inventory
  Item time! You are carrying:
  some controls
  a keycard
  a termite emitter
  a sheath
  a barcode
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  > Go east
  (first opening the metallic door)
  The metallic door's got no handle. It's probably operated by the sensor, which might open if you put something like your keycard on it.
  
  > put the keycard on the sensor
  Hm. The blank keycard doesn't seem to work. Maybe you could jazz it up a bit.
  
  > put the barcode on the keycard
  You unpeel the barcode, slap it on the keycard, and it is a perfect fit! Also, you stuff the adhesive backing in your pocket, where you forget about it until you can find a proper garbage can. You haven't seen any in this city yet.
  
  > put the keycard on the sensor
  What do you know? It works! The door slides open!
  
  What do you know? It works! The door slides open!
  
  The metallic door slides shut.