text: The temptation is too great, you have to go. You're just too curious not to.
  
  "Hey Todd, and Charles I think you guys are ready to monitor this thing by yourself. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and I'm going back to my room to take a short nap, don't tell anyone alright?"
  
  Todd and Charles just look glad that you're showing some confidence in them for once.
  
  "Yeah, sure it's cool. We won't tell anyone." Todd says.
  "Alright, I'll be back. Remember just monitor, don't fucking touch anything!"
  "Okay! Got it!"
  
  You leave the computer room and look around; the shelter almost seems eerily empty right now. Nina's no doubt got everyone's attention with her speech in conference room and all the kids are being looked after by someone in the children's room created a couple years back.
  
  You make your move. You run to the elevator, open it and get inside. You take a deep breath and press the button up, no time like the present to test it person.
  
  The elevator begins its ascent, you begin to wonder what you'll see above, you then check you pistol just in case what you see is unfriendly. Finally the elevator opens up to the same foyer you entered five years ago. Looks exactly the same, except the payment machine is now offline in fact the screen is cracked. There's a crowbar lying on the floor and the doors to the outside look like they were pried open. You see the outside world for the first time in five years. From where you're standing, it doesn't look too bad; maybe the devastation wasn't that great in this area. Somebody or possibly several people were here at one time attempting to get in.
  
  You take the crowbar and jam it in the elevator door so it doesn't close on you. There's no call button up here either since it was the payment machine that opened it up. You make a note that if you're able you'll have to install another one up here, and shake your head at the typical shitty GZS design of its shelters. They built this thing like a high tech mass coffin as far as you're concerned; you're convinced that if it wasn't for you up keeping and tinkering, everyone would've been dead due to shelter failure by now.
  
  You exit the foyer and go outside, you see a bright light. It's the sun; you forgot how bright it could be. You see everyone's cars still parked here, well almost. You can tell that few of them must've been taken at one time; a lot have just been plain vandalized. Your van still looks the same though, nobody in their right mind would steal that thing, and it already looks vandalized. You wonder if it would still start, but you left your keys to it in the shelter. You doubt if it would though.
  
  It occurs to you for the first time, the shelter might not exactly be "safe", granted its not safe by design, but you're thinking safe from bad people on the surface. Its possible these folks who passed through here stealing vehicles and vandalizing them might've just been trying to scavenge whatever they could find. The surface certainly can't be a comfortable place to live now. Maybe they were just looking for safety. Of course it's equally likely they were looters and other bad types.
  
  The shelter community isn't exactly a bunch of "warriors", besides yourself, Leon, and maybe a few others you doubt it they could handle a bunch of hardened surface raiders who've been living in the wasteland for years. Granted the elevator wouldn't allow for a large invasion of these types of people to take place, but it still makes you wonder if precautions shouldn't be taken.
  
  You need to get back though before everyone finds out what you've been doing. You rush back to the elevator (Throwing the crowbar back on the ground) and take it down hoping that nobody is wandering around when you exit the thing.
  
  When you arrive at the bottom, you half expect to see a crowd to meet you, but its dead silent still, you quickly head back to the computer room where Charles and Todd are talking about another movie.
  
  "Hey you're back. So what did you see on the surface?" Charles asks
  "Yeah were there mutants and shit?" Todd adds
  
  You're a little taken aback.
  
  "What?! How did you guys know?"
  "Sheesh! Come on, we're not the morons you think we are! You told us to monitor the computer system, and when you used the elevator, the computer mentioned the elevator was in use, we put two and two together. So how was it? Is it all desert and shit with people dressed in leather walking around?"
  
  You nearly slap yourself in the head for forgetting that little oversight on your part.
  
  "You watch too many movies Charles; no I didn't see any of that. At least not in the immediate area. And YOU two don't know I went up there and I mean you don't tell ANYONE! If Nina found out, she'd a pitch a bitch at me. She's already made it clear that she doesn't want me going up on the surface."
  "Don't worry we're not going to say anything. I dunno, I think maybe we should start going to the surface though, I mean this place can't support a growing population forever. Eventually we're going to have to start expanding out." Todd mentions.
  "Yeah, but that probably won't be for awhile, we a got a lot of room still. Lots of supplies too, and with us in charge the food and water dispensers are working perfectly now." Charles retorts.
  
  You roll your eyes "With us in charge" actually it was you who made sure the damn things wouldn't be breaking down on a regular basis. Still Todd makes a good point and it was something you were thinking about too. Maybe you should address this further with Nina after all her being the shelter leader she's the one that could enact a plan about it.
  
  Later that night, you're in bed with Nina wondering if its time to tell her she should think about expansion... 
  > address it
  "Hey Nina get up."
  "Huh, what? Not tonight I'm tired."
  "No it's not that. It's about the surface. I think we need to start taking precautions and possible steps to expand above. The surface doesn't look that bad and... "
  
  Nina immediately sits up.
  
  "YOU WENT TO THE SURFACE? After I told you not to fucking do that?! YOU ASSHOLE!"
  "Calm down look you can see nothing happened to me. It doesn't even look like there was any bombs that landed anywhere near the area."
  "You could be radiated! The wind blows your know or have you forgotten? Or maybe it was a biological weapon! A disease could be floating in the air! You ever think of that? You could be infected with god knows what right now and spread it to the whole shelter! And our baby!"
  
  Another surprise.
  
  "Baby? You're pregnant?"
  "I just found out recently from Brenda a few days ago. I was going to tell you soon, I should've told you yesterday before you went to the surface, but I THOUGHT you respected my wishes! I can't believe you... "
  
  Nina gets up and starts pacing. She's very upset. You get up and try to fix this mess.
  
  "Look that just makes this idea even more vital, this place can't support all these people having babies. Even GZS mentioned in their delusional guideline statement it was the intention for people to eventually go back up to the surface and repopulate it with their families. We can't live like a bunch of crowded sardines; we should make preparations now, before it becomes a problem."
  "But it might be dangerous up there."
  "It probably won't be a picnic, but that's another reason why we should start getting ready now. The more we're prepared the better off we'll be to defend ourselves."
  "But the radiation... "
  "Look, the fact remains this place IS going to get overpopulated one day and people are going to have to start going up to the surface and any background radiation isn't going to disappear within that time. So we're just going to have to roll the dice and deal with that fact. Like I said I think we're okay, we're in a fairly isolated area away from an important major city. It's not like we're located on either of the coasts which were probably bombed the shit out of. And to the response to biological weapon thing, I highly doubt those were used, we were the only country that had the capability to launch such weapons from a long distance, except maybe Russia and I'm sure they probably just used nukes on us. Besides any virus or germ used in such a way would've died out long ago after it killed off the immediate population."
  
  Nina still doesn't look so sure, she still look worried about you. You hold Nina to reassure her.
  
  "If it'll make you feel better I'll actually go see Kyle and have him check me out. And you know how much I hate going to see doctors, especially one that's got all his knowledge from the GZS info files. I'll be here for a long time...  for all of us."
  
  Your words seem to relax her a bit. She smiles and embraces you more closely.
  
  "Okay, I'll bring it up tomorrow... I still think it's funny that you of all people would be advocating going back to the surface."
  "Pfft! WE'RE not going to the surface to live. We're staying here! I just want get the rest of these fuckers out of the shelter and on to the surface! This place is too damn crowded as it is!"
  "Now that sounds more like you!" Nina laughs.
  
  Five more years pass... 
  
  It's been ten years since you got here. It almost seems surreal to think about. Nina's still the shelter leader and you're still looking after the central computer. However a lot more things have changed, and just as predicted the population grew significantly, fortunately the implementations ahead of time allowed everyone to adjust with little problems.
  
  There was some apprehension at first when Nina first suggested the surface thing, but eventually people did see the point in it. Some even wanted to go up to the surface. The first step was to make a fully functioning elevator that people could go up AND down on without any problems. (Of course that job fell to you again)
  
  The next step was to create small "huts" with the cars outside as well as using current shelter material. This went quicker than expected as most people pitched in to help.
  
  Nina gave birth to a son Jack, and almost went back to her duties immediately, leaving you to do most of the "Mr. Mom" work. Nowadays you split your time between monitoring the computer and monitoring Jack. Thankfully Charles and Todd have learned a lot more now and don't require your supervision lessening your workload.
  
  Now its time for the next step.
  
  Nina and her council have been discussing plans for the even farther future. Contact with others and exploration. Within the past five years of the return to the surface, there has been contact with a few wanderers here and there, but they tended not to talk too much about their travels, they just mentioned that they'd seen other evidences of civilization, not all very civilized of course. Most of them just seemed to want to keep moving after doing a bit of trading and resupplying. One even hinted at some other "things" lurking around on the surface which didn't sound too promising.
  
  However, the shelter needs to start finding a stable trading partner, or at least a place to find more supplies, because the vital ones are starting to run out. Some people are asked to volunteer for this exploration mission
  
  It wasn't surprising Leon volunteered, but Brenda and Todd also volunteered. They were given as much supplies as they could carry and armed with the most "dangerous" things in the shelter. Leon and Todd carry some crowbars and Brenda carries a scalpel. You wonder if that's really going to be enough though. Chances are some people out there (Quite possibly a lot) are carrying guns on them. Todd and Brenda aren't going to be much good in a fight anyway, and while Leon is a fighter, even he can't stop a bullet.
  
  You're the only one with an "equalizer" around here. Maybe you should hand it over to them to give them a better chance. Though you really don't want to do that, for various reasons.
  > hand over your pistol
  Before they leave you approach Leon, you and he still have a bit of history over the whole Elliot thing years ago. You're guessing he's not one to hold a grudge though since he's never sought any type of revenge or something. You only hope he isn't the patient type.
  
  "Alright Leon, I know you're the fighter of this group, and I know its most likely going to be dangerous up there, so I'm gonna do something totally out of character. I'm giving you my pistol and the two clips I have. It's in good condition, and it's only been fired once in ten years and I think you know when that was. Here you go."
  
  Leon takes the gun and looks at it with silence for awhile and then speaks. You think this is the first time you've actually heard him speak at all!
  
  "Y'know, I never did apologize for that shit ten years ago. I dunno what the hell I was thinking following Elliot; none of us who did do. You and Nina have done a better job of keeping this place running than anyone. Anyway, this is really generous of you, but I can't shoot worth shit, but I know someone who's going with us who used to practice regularly before the bombs dropped. Hey Brenda! I got something for ya!"
  
  Brenda comes over and her eyes widen when Leon hands her your pistol.
  
  "Aw yeah! This is what I'm talkin' about! I just hope I'm still a good shot; I've only been able to practice my aim by throwing this scalpel at a human diagram chart."
  "Yeah well don't practice too much with it, save your bullets for an emergency. I didn't know you were a gun person Brenda." You say.
  "You really need to get out of that computer room and socialize more!"
  "Shit, he barely socializes when he's in there with me and Charles." Todd adds.
  "But yeah I used to practice with my own when I had one. I was too afraid to try to sneak mine in here though... you know we've all always wondered about that, how DID you sneak this in?" Brenda asks.
  
  You just smile.
  
  "Hey I think you guys better get going." You say almost laughing
  
  "Oh come on! What a gyp! Alright, but we want to know when we come back!" Brenda says and then her, Leon and Todd enter the elevator wave goodbye to everyone and go up.
   
  You and everyone else go about your usual business. Nina mentions what you did.
  
  "Wow, that was really surprising for you, you've practically been walking around with that thing on you for ten years."
  "Yeah, well I can only hope I don't need it within the time that they come back... if they come back."
  "You just gave them an edge I'd say they've got more of a chance now. Don't be so pessimistic. They'll come back."
  "Yeah I hope. Bring Jack by the computer room later; I know you got some sort of meeting to go to."
  "Oh I can cancel that, it's not vital."
  "No its fine, bring him by. I've been indoctrinating him on the basics of the shelter computer. Someone's gotta run this thing when I'm gone."
  "Well alright then, hey don't worry. Everything will be alright."
  
  Nina kisses you and you exchange remarks about how you love each other before you make your way back to the computer room. You know its silly to think about it, but you can't help thinking about some worst possible scenario.
  
  You think about those three getting captured, tortured, and killed by a large group of psychotic bandits or something and then those same scum coming here because they found out the location after torturing them. You wouldn't have anything proper to defend your family with and the surface scum would probably have all kinds of weapons to kill everyone with. They'd start by killing everyone in immediate area of the entrance, then they'd come down in small groups with automatic weapons they undoubtedly have and start killing down here and worse... 
  
  "HEY! Stop spacing!" Charles suddenly says to you.
  "Huh? Oh! Okay." You say snapping out your horrible daydream.
  "Man, what's wrong with you? You've been doing that the whole time you got here."
  "Nothing, just a little pre-occupied."
  
  You still don't really relax until Jack gets there, which allows you to think about less terrible things like teaching him about the computer system.
  
  When you're finished with your duties, you go back to your room, and Nina's there waiting for you looking as lovely as usual. You came in this place ten years ago with nothing except a bad attitude, now you got a lot more... 
  
  You're not losing this. No way in hell.
  
  The next day you start visiting the community gym area. You know other people like Leon use it. Nina uses it to keep in shape, but you've never stepped foot in the place, you never really saw any reason to, its not like you were fat or anything, but you realize if some shit goes down you're going to have to be in better physical condition. You might not have a gun, but MAYBE you'll be quick and strong enough to take one away from somebody! You need a fucking edge. You begin training regularly. Nina's a little confused about this sudden change, but she's not at all displeased with it.
  
  You do this for the next six months with the constant theme running in your mind of how you'll be able to take out the first miscreant that steps through the elevator, grab his gun and... 
  
  "Hey everyone, they're back! And they're in a fuckin' car with a shitload of stuff!" someone shouts while you're training.
  
  You immediately stop and head for the surface. When you arrive you see Leon unloading some stuff out of a beat up, but functioning car, he's got a patch on his eye now and his face is scarred, but otherwise looks okay. Brenda comes up to you and tosses you your pistol back, along with three clips!
  
  "Came in handy, but I think I'll be using THIS from now on!" Brenda pats an automatic rifle slung over her shoulder. "Hey, you look different, you been working out?"
  
  "Um, something like that. So where did you get all this stuff?"
  "Most of it we got from this small place called Ashtown that's agreed to trade with us, we'd found it after about a week of wandering around, we were there negotiating with them and they wouldn't trust us at first until the place suddenly got attack by a bunch of raiders. We helped defend the place from a one month siege! We also stuck around to help heal the wound. After that, they decided we were okay... that was at sort of a high cost though. Todd didn't make it. He got killed in the fight. Tried to save him, but it was already too late by the time I got there." Brenda explains.
  
  "Damn...he was an alright guy... so is this fight where Leon got all scarred up?" you say as he approaches.
  "No, that happened after we left Ashtown, we went exploring some more, we found another place a lot less friendly called The Combine. Trust me; we want to AVOID that place. We barely got out of there; we were basically prisoners. That's why we were gone for so long. However, that's where we got this car. We stopped back at Ashtown to pick up some supplies and came back here." Leon answers, then he looks at you with his remaining eye. "Damn, you been working out?"
  
  You nearly start laughing at your situation, here you were training and thinking up every possible worst case scenario that was going to befall the shelter, while Brenda and Leon were actually engaged in some worst case scenarios. You're just glad that nothing did happen to the shelter, but you certainly feel less naked now that you have your "equalizer" back!
  
  Life in the shelter continues.
  
  Ten more years pass... 
  
  You've been here twenty years and as always there are more changes.
  
  More people have moved to the surface, pieces of the shelter have been dismantled and started to be used to build a real town along with supplies from Ashtown, and scavenging from other places. Still, the shelter is needed to ensure at least a clean water supply so you're still running it. Nina's position has changed though. Since the shelter doesn't contain a majority of the population anymore, her position is more of a community council person and her title is no longer "shelter leader". The place has been given a name now; New Haven
  
  One current problem is to keep the place together, but with the younger population, they're less likely to want to stay. Ever since Leon came back with a giant mutant wolf head on one of his exploration trips, they all want to be "explorers" too. Your son Jack being one of those young people.
  
  Nina of course doesn't want him to go anywhere (You're reminded of when she didn't want you to go to the surface) and you can't say you're too fond of the idea either, but what can you do?
  > increase his work time with you
  The longer you can keep an eye on him the less likely he'll be sneaking off, maybe you can drum some discipline into his head again too, because apparently he lost some of it. You go to find Jake who's hanging around the edges of town as usual.
  
  "Hey Jack come here!"
  "Aw Dad, I don't feel like working with you in the boring ol' computer room right now!"
  "Boy, you better get your ass to that computer room!"
  
  Jack follows you in defeat before you embarrass him anymore in front of his friends. When you arrive in the computer room Charles is there. Jack slumps down in a chair next to a console.
  
  "Oh hey there, I didn't expect to see you both here today." Charles says unsure of how he's suppose to respond to this situation."
  "Yeah, well Jack needs to spend some extra time down here, he's been slackin' lately."
  "I ain't been slackin'!" Jake protests.
  "You've been slackin'! Now check the power systems!"
  "(Sigh) Fine! I dunno why we have to do this for; there hasn't been a problem with this thing for years."
  "Yeah, and it's gonna STAY that way too! The only reason why we haven't had problems is because I'm on top of things all the time! If I let this thing go to shit, no more clean water supply for us! Would you like that? Drinking piss water?"
  "I know I sure wouldn't." Charles mumbles.
  "Damnit Dad this is boring! I don't wanna be doing this shit! I wanna go out an explore the world like Leon!"
  "Like Leon huh? In case you're blind, you'll notice Leon's got a missing eye, a missing left ear and pieces of his fingers. That's what the rest of the world does to you, if you slip up just slightly and nobody's perfect. Look at Brenda, she's the best marksperson in this place and she got herself shot in the leg which stopped her from going out. She now walks with a permanent limp! Is that what you want?"
  "God you're a fucking control freak Dad! I thought Mom was bad, but... "
  
  Over the line. That one incurred Jack a wrap to the head.
  
  "DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY!" you bellow as Jack holds his head.
  "Um... I think my shift is over, see ya later!" Charles says getting out the way of this family squabble.
  
  The rest of the time in the computer room is silent. Jack doesn't say anything, he just sullenly does what you tell him. The next day he does the same thing, and the day after that, and so on, until one day he doesn't. Mainly because he's run away with some of his friends and stolen Leon's beat up car. Nina is very distraught along with many other parents. The only thing is that Leon said it doesn't have that much gas in it because he hasn't been able to come across any lately.
  
  You, some of the other fathers and Leon go looking for all of them. You first head towards Ashtown thinking that maybe they just went there to be "a little rebellious". You come across the car, which they obviously abandoned, and continue to Ashtown with hope that Jack still headed that way, but no such luck. When you arrive, the people their say they haven't seen anyone come by in weeks.
  
  Days go by and at one point Leon thinks he's got a lead, but then the worst happens. You're attacked by crazed cannibals and their mutant dogs. You immediately tag one of the cannibals and duck behind a rock. But the cannibals also have guns and while the other fathers have weapons too, they haven't been practicing with them like you and Leon have. They're a lot better shots, you see a few of your fellow parents go down for the count, while the dogs finish them off. Leon holds his own, and you and he manage to take out all the cannibals, but it's the fucking dogs that give you trouble... 
  
  Three of them leap onto Leon, knocking his weapon from his hand, he sticks his thumbs in the eyes of the one that tried to take out his throat, but that still doesn't stop it from biting him in the face before it dies, one is chewing on his chest though and the other one is going to town on his crotch. You'd try to help him, but you got one that came out of nowhere that rips into your leg. You shoot the damn thing in the head three times before it lets go. You then struggle to stand and shoot the other couple dogs, but its too late, Leon's a mangled corpse.
  
  "FUCK!" you shout in frustration looking at the dead all around you. You collapse to the ground and put your hands on your face thinking about how this got all fucked up and then that's when you notice the smoke coming from the cannibal camp and the smell of burning flesh. Your heart sinks and you drag yourself over for a closer look.
  
  "No... don't let it... " you to yourself. You see some bones and clothing. Some on it looks like that of some of the other parent's kids. You don't see anything of Jack's. You don't know if he got away, or they ate him and threw the clothing elsewhere or what. Somehow it doesn't really matter; you haven't found him, so for all intents and purposes he's dead or at best; missing.
  
  After grabbing all the remaining water you can from the others you make the long painful journey back to New Haven, thinking about what you're going to tell everyone. Much has been lost this day.
  
  When you get back you collapse again, this time you feel a fever. Brenda and Kyle immediately see to you. It's your leg, its festering and infected from the mutant dog bite. Nothing can be done; you get it chopped off at the knee. The only good thing is you were unconscious at the time.
  
  After you get over the initially shock of waking up to a peg leg, you only have more bad news for everyone, especially Nina. However, many lives of husbands and children have been lost and someone MUST take the blame. And that someone happens to be you just because you happened to be the lucky one to come back alive.
  
  Nina is voted out of her position on the council for some made up reason which you protest loudly, but it hardly bothers her since she's been preoccupied ever since you came back with the bad news. She holds on to sanity by making herself believe that Jack DID escape and is somewhere out there wandering the world.
  
  They can't get rid of you so easily since even with Charles around you're still the only guy who can keep the computer system running everything working right, but most of the population sure gives you a hard time. If you weren't walking around on a fucking peg, you'd start kicking some ass. As a few years goes by, finally you get sick of the shit and say:
  
  "Fuck it. Let 'em rot. They can run this shit themselves, this place is getting dead anyway. Nina, we're going to Ashtown."
  "Ashtown? But that's so far away! And you're walking on that peg!"
  "I didn't mean go right this minute or by ourselves, I meant the next trade caravan from Ashtown that comes by we're tagging along with it."
  "We're just going to pick up and leave? Just like that? After all these years?"
  "Hey, I don't like it either, but its obvious all of our efforts weren't ever appreciated here. Yours OR mine. Since they hate us so much, then let 'em live here without our help. There's nothing for us here now. All we got left is each other."
  
  Nina agrees and holds you tightly while telling you how much she loves you.
  
  When the Ashtown caravan comes around you and Nina have all your stuff packed. They're only too happy to take you with them, since Ashtown has been trying to get a couple old generators working to maximum efficiency and they heard you were good at that sort of thing.
  
  You spend your remaining life in Ashtown. It isn't as secure in safety as it was in New Haven, but at least you had Nina to make it equally as comfortable.