text: [Themes: Humor, Literary, Children's]
  
  > Go downward
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door has been wedged open. Completing the morbid ambiance is a motheaten bearskin rug.
  The Big Bad Wolf is here, doing his best to look mean and dangerous.
  
  > Go west
  I am in the bears' tiny kitchen, a cosy little room that could have come straight from the pages of Country Living. It's big on original features and totally lacking in "mod cons." A large dining table sits in the centre of the room and there is a dresser against the wall. Opposite the dresser is an enormous brick fireplace that seems to fill half the room.
  
  On the dining table are a large bowl (which is empty), a medium-sized bowl (which is empty) and a tiny little bowl of just-right porridge. The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the east.
  
  > Go east
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door has been wedged open. Completing the morbid ambiance is a motheaten bearskin rug.
  The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the west.
  
  > get the rug
  I pick up the bearskin rug. Oh,  wow, there's a trapdoor hidden underneath the rug! What a stupid place to put it - right in front of the front door. Someone could have a nasty accident if they didn't know it was there!
  'Here, piggy piggy piggy!' says the wolf, wandering off to the west.
  
  > open the trapdoor
  I open the trapdoor. A set of rickety wooden stairs lead down into darkness.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  I am carrying:
  a bearskin rug
  a packet of frozen pork chops
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl of just-right porridge
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > eat the porridge
  Mmmmm! That porridge tasted JUST RIGHT! I feel thoroughly invigourated; in fact I could toss a few cabers myself if you know what I mean. Wait, that sounded really dodgy. Forget I said it.
  
  > Go west
  I am in the bears' tiny kitchen, a cosy little room that could have come straight from the pages of Country Living. It's big on original features and totally lacking in "mod cons." A large dining table sits in the centre of the room and there is a dresser against the wall. Opposite the dresser is an enormous brick fireplace that seems to fill half the room.
  The Big Bad Wolf is here, doing his best to look mean and dangerous.
  
  On the dining table are a large bowl (which is empty), a medium-sized bowl (which is empty) and a tiny little bowl of just-right porridge.
  
  > look at the dresser
  It's an olde worlde pine number. Looks like it's seen quite a bit of use over the years. The kitchen dresser is empty.
  
  > eat oats
  That's plainly inedible.
  
  > Hint
  (1) Why doesn't the button on the large chair do anything?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with the pond?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) How do I get rid of Sleeping Beauty?
  (6) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > 2
  The right tool for the right job.
  No more hints!
  
  (1) Why doesn't the button on the large chair do anything?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with the pond?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) How do I get rid of Sleeping Beauty?
  (6) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > go east
  'Well,' says the wolf, 'it was nice talking to you, but I really must be off. Those piggies won't get eaten all by themselves.'
  
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door has been wedged open. Just inside the front door is an open trapdoor.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  I am carrying:
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug
  a packet of frozen pork chops
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > open window with the key
  Generations of careless decorators have repeatedly painted over the catch making it impossible to turn. No matter how hard I try I can't open it with my bare hands!
  
  > wear the gloves
  I put on the gloves, but they're much too big for me and feel just a little loose!
  
  > open window with the key
  Even with thick leather gloves on I still can't turn the catch! I'm going to need something a bit more heavy duty!
  
  > check your inventory
  I am carrying:
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug
  a packet of frozen pork chops
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a pair of gardening gloves (being worn)
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > open the window
  Even with thick leather gloves on I still can't turn the catch! I'm going to need something a bit more heavy duty!
  
  Damn! The gloves just dropped off my hands! Yes, both of them, at the same time! What are the chances of that?
  
  > get the gloves
  This could be the pair of gardening gloves that broke Goldilocks' back, you know! Taken.
  
  > wear the gloves
  I put on the gloves, but they're much too big for me and feel just a little loose!
  
  Damn! The gloves just dropped off my hands! Yes, both of them, at the same time! What are the chances of that?
  
  > check what you're carrying
  I am carrying:
  a pair of gardening gloves
  an old brass key
  a bearskin rug (being worn)
  a packet of frozen pork chops
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > look at the watch
  It is about 9:35 AM.
  
  > Hint
  (1) Why doesn't the button on the large chair do anything?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with the pond?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) How do I get rid of Sleeping Beauty?
  (6) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > 2
  The right tool for the right job.
  No more hints!
  
  (1) Why doesn't the button on the large chair do anything?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with the pond?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) How do I get rid of Sleeping Beauty?
  (6) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > 1
  You need to generate some power first.
  Another Hint? [Y/N]
  
  > Y.
  With a little help from an old friend...
  No more hints!
  
  (1) Why doesn't the button on the large chair do anything?
  (2) How do I open the window?
  (3) What should I do with the pond?
  (4) How do I make sure the bears don't find me when they get home?
  (5) How do I get rid of Sleeping Beauty?
  (6) Is there any way to extend the time limit?
  
  > Light catch
  Wowee! Who'd have thought the catch would burn so well! Uh-oh; the flames are spreading like wildfire - I burned down the cottage, the entire forest and everything in it, including me. That'll teach me to play with matches!!
  Oh, bollocks. I'm dead!
  I have so far scored 27 out of a possible 100, in 277 turns.
  
  Would I like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score for that game or QUIT?
  
  > Go upward
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door has been wedged open. Just inside the front door is an open trapdoor.
  The Big Bad Wolf is here, doing his best to look mean and dangerous.
  
  > sit on the tiny chair
  Wow, this chair feels just right! Oh, crap!! The stupid thing collapsed right under me! I guess that's what happens if you buy self-assembly.