text: [Themes: Casual Simulation, orphans, satire, simulation]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.
  
  Frannie, Maud, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  > recruit Cob
  You inform Froome that he will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises him alone.
  .
  
  > recruit mildred
  You would be subject to endless ridicule from the other teams if you fielded a player as frail as Chollop.
  
  > recruit Gretchen
  You inform Bloch that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome and Bloch.
  
  > recruit Frannie
  You inform Harris that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome, Bloch and Harris.
  
  > recruit Maud
  You inform Barnacle that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome, Bloch, Harris and Barnacle.
  
  > Go south
  This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  Molly is housed here.
  
  Griselda, Hubert, Tawny and Edie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
  
  > recruit Edie
  A child so small would be crushed to pulp in a streetball tournament.
  
  > Go north
  Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  Frannie, Maud, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.
  
  > recruit Jim
  You inform Tench that he will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome, Bloch, Harris, Barnacle and Tench: a complete line-up.
  
  Ringing the dinner-bell will start the next match.
  
  > Status
  Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
  Jim        mediocre     poor         poor         adequate
  Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
  Madison    mediocre     awful        poor         poor
  Ned        poor         poor         mediocre     poor
  Maud       mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
  Tawny      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
  Hubert     adequate     mediocre     adequate     poor
  Molly      mediocre     bad          good         poor
  Frannie    mediocre     adequate     adequate     mediocre
  Percy      poor         mediocre     adequate     adequate
  Mildred    poor         adequate     mediocre     bad
  Cob        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
  
  > Unassign Edie
  You allow Edie Dillinger to take a break.
  
  > assign Molly to the tricycles
  You command Molly Bogey to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
  
  > scrub Jim
  You seize Jim, pinch his cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and make him dedicate a few hours to shining his shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now mediocre.
  
  > Discipline mildred
  You apply some well-deserved discipline to Mildred Chollop. Her discipline is now mediocre.
  
  > Go south
  This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
  
  Edie is housed here.
  
  > Discipline edie
  You apply some well-deserved discipline to Edie Dillinger. Her discipline is now satisfactory.
  
  > Go south
  Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
  
  Ned and Percy are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
  
  > Status
  Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
  Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     adequate
  Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         poor
  Madison    mediocre     abysmal      poor         poor
  Ned        poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
  Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
  Tawny      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
  Hubert     adequate     mediocre     adequate     poor
  Molly      mediocre     bad          good         poor
  Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     adequate
  Percy      mediocre     mediocre     adequate     adequate
  Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
  Cob        mediocre     mediocre     poor         adequate
  
  > Discipline ned
  You apply some well-deserved discipline to Ned Jackson. His discipline is now mediocre.
  
  > ring bell
  You are due to face Blackburn Remedial in the first round. You have not played streetball since your reformatory days, but you feel you've been able to teach the children enough.
  
  Jim Tench has lost some teeth during a three-point maul.
  The injury is severe enough to take him off the team.
  
  Your orphans are unceremoniously crushed. The outcome was never in doubt. You are out of the tournament, and a tangible sense of failure settles over everyone.
  
  > cut Jim
  Cutting him up would achieve little.
  
  > Status
  Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
  Jim        mediocre     bad          adequate     poor
  Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
  Madison    mediocre     abysmal      mediocre     poor
  Ned        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
  Maud       poor         adequate     mediocre     mediocre
  Tawny      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
  Hubert     mediocre     mediocre     adequate     poor
  Molly      adequate     abysmal      good         poor
  Frannie    mediocre     satisfactory adequate     mediocre
  Percy      mediocre     poor         adequate     adequate
  Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     awful
  Cob        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
  
  > recruit Frannie
  Nobody has expressed any special interest in hiring orphans. You must trust to the soft mercies of the labour market.
  
  > ring bell
  The ancient tricycles have fortified Griselda Much's vigour, which is now poor.
  The ancient tricycles have fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now mediocre.
  The ancient tricycles have fortified Hubert Dobson's vigour, which is now mediocre.
  The ancient tricycles have fortified Molly Bogey's vigour, which is now bad.
  My First Delousing Bath has brightened Percy Dabney's looks, which are now satisfactory.
  
  Maud Barnacle's audacious escape attempt was brought to an end by the Ruritanian Mastiffs. Unfortunately, so was Maud Barnacle. Once the dogs are sleeping, you retrieve the remains and dump them down the nearest sewer.
  
  You receive a government stipend of 130 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 39 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
  Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Gretchen Bloch has gained vigour, and Tawny Scraggley and Molly Bogey have improved their morale.
  
  Ned Jackson and Percy Dabney have grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.
  
  The Orphanorium has been entrusted with three more children: Sadie Sankey is old enough for the Middle House, while Pepper Grabble and Jacek Scound will go to the Junior.
  
  > go to the south
  This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.
  
  Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
  
  A new task: Path to the Nest of Spiders
  Ever since Slophouse & Sons started sourcing gruel ingredients from Ruritania, you have occasionally found a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider lurking at the bottom of a box of dehydrated oat-scrapings. Now, however, it seems that one has escaped and started to breed. The bite of the Ruritanian Misanthrope is not usually fatal, but the necrosis it causes is both painful and unsightly. Unless you want an establishment full of blotchy, keening orphans, you had better search for the nest and deal with it.
  
  > go south
  Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.
  
  From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
  
  Jacek and Pepper are housed here.
  
  > Nfoo1
  Ok.
  
  > RECAP
  Ever since Slophouse & Sons started sourcing gruel ingredients from Ruritania, you have occasionally found a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider lurking at the bottom of a box of dehydrated oat-scrapings. Now, however, it seems that one has escaped and started to breed. The bite of the Ruritanian Misanthrope is not usually fatal, but the necrosis it causes is both painful and unsightly. Unless you want an establishment full of blotchy, keening orphans, you had better search for the nest and deal with it.
  
  > Go north
  This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.
  
  Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
  
  > go north
  Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  Frannie, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.
  
  A penetrating wail would suggest that Griselda Much has been attacked by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
  
  > examine Griselda
  Griselda Much, discarded daughter of an advertiser of adult stamps and a Greek medium.
  Her discipline is mediocre, her vigour mediocre, her appearance adequate and her morale poor. It is difficult to remember that she was formed by God.
  
  > Search
  What do you want to search?
  
  > examine Mastiffs
  The Ruritanian Mastiff breed is characterised by a face like a tumour and the heart of an abused wolverine. Ruritanian Mastiffs get disqualified from dog shows for failing to savage a judge.
  When a Ruritanian Mastiff gets rabies, nobody notices. Rurie
  owners would nonetheless say that they are highly intelligent, loyal and loving -- at least, those Rurie owners with a voicebox yet-untorn by slavering fangs.
  
  Mastiffs significantly reduce the risk of orphans escaping. The condition of failed escape-artists is not guaranteed.
  
  > go south
  Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.
  
  From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.
  
  The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.
  
  A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
  
  In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
  
  Jacek and Pepper are housed here.