text: [Themes: Humor, bomb]
  
  Loading game...
  
  Cut the Red Wire! No, the Blue Wire!
  
  Cut the Red Wire!
  No, the Blue Wire!
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  [Author's Note: You are a bomb disposal expert at the old warehouse on Throggmorton Row facing a big, nasty bomb. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.]
  
  > About you
  You're a bit short for your height, but otherwise unremarkable.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > cut red Wire
  You cut the red wire.
  A moment's breathless anticipation follows.
  Followed by a thunderous explosion as the bomb explodes anyway. Ah well, it was a good try.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > cut blue Wire
  You cut the blue wire.
  A moment's breathless anticipation follows.
  Followed by a thunderous explosion as the bomb explodes anyway. Ah well, it was a good try.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  [MORE]
  
  > massage the buttocks
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > pull blue Wire
  You pull the blue wire, hoping this might defuse the bomb.
  The thunderously loud explosion which abruptly tears you apart indicates this isn't the case.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > examine the bomb
  It's a remarkably nasty and efficient looking bomb. The sort of bomb that immediately commands attention. A guy would have to be totally mad, or have a death wish on his hands, to try and defuse something like this.
  Why is it, you wonder, that you decided to become a bomb disposal expert? Wasn't stacking shelves in Asda enough excitement for you?
  
  [MORE]
  
  > press the green
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > eat bomb
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > throw the bomb at the crowd
  You attempt to engage the sightseers but as they're only here for the spectacle of seeing you go up in smoke, they don't prove very helpful.
  
  The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > Pray
  You try praying. It's never worked before and, unsurprisingly, it doesn't work now.
  
  The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > examine red Wire
  The red wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb.
  
  [MORE]
  
  > look at red Wire
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > examine blue Wire
  The blue wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  [MORE]
  
  > check your inventory
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  [MORE]
  
  > Inventory
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > No the blue wire
  You cut the red wire.
  A moment's breathless anticipation follows.
  Followed by a thunderous explosion as the bomb explodes anyway. Ah well, it was a good try.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  The blue wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying a pair of wire cutters.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > examine yourself
  [x me]
  You're a bit short for your height, but otherwise unremarkable.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > Xyzzy
  You utter the magic word, hoping it will defuse the bomb, move it to a safe location, shield you from its blast, or save you in some other way.
  Unfortunately it doesn't do anything other than waste your last
  moment on Earth due to the bomb exploding a moment later.
  
  > look at the clamp
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > turn off the bomb
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > examine the wall
  Your thoughts stray in the direction of the walls, but the bomb has other ideas and blows you up so the walls will forever remain a mystery.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > attach red Wire to blue Wire
  The red wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > hit the bomb
  [kill bomb]
  Thoughts of violence enter your mind but are never acted upon due to the unfortunately timed explosion from the bomb.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > hit the bomb with the davidw
  [kill bomb with DavidW]
  Thoughts of violence enter your mind but are never acted upon due to the unfortunately timed explosion from the bomb.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > wake up
  [wake u]
  Whatever that was, it won't be done.
  
  Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke.
  The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.
  
  > cut green Wire
  Which wire? The red wire or the blue wire?
  Unfortunately, your struggles with disambiguation have cost you
  dearly.
  
  The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the
  best damn explosion they've witnessed all week.
  
  You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way.
  Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind.
  
  The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces.
  A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.