text: [Themes: modern]
  
  You have no desire to go get a job, but you decide you'd better make the effort. Tina suggests that you could go to Billy Ray's Burgers since he's always hiring, but you're loathed to work in that shithole.
  
  Maybe you should try the Big Jim's Repair Shop, though you don't really want to work for that miserable bastard either.
  
  Your cousin Clem always said you could help him with his Pig Farm, but you're not sure if you want to put up with his wife. You already have to deal with one bitch at home, you don't feel like dealing with one at work too.
  
  Speaking of which, Tina also suggests that they need a new bouncer at her strip club, Kitty City. Wow, working with your girlfriend, joy joy joy...
  
  Of course there's always odd jobs you could do around the trailer park and pick up metal scraps to sell to the junkyard, the problem there is trying to make enough money doing it to appease Tina.
  
  > do odd jobs and pick up metal scraps
  "Aw hell Tina, I don't need no regular job! There's plenty o' jobs I can do for people around the trailer park an' hell there's always metal shit lying around that I could collect an' take to scrapyard!"
  "Way to reach for those stars Mel. NO! You can't make a living doing that shit!"
  "The hell I can't! Sides' it's still bringing in money."
  "Yeah, enough to buy more beer! (Sigh) Why do I even fuckin' bother? Oh fuck it; at least you're doing something, but you better at least bring in enough money for this months rent!"
  "Yeah, yeah." You say and leave.
  
  As you scratch your ass and look out at the trailer park wasteland that you live in you ponder your next move. You wonder whether you should help any of these motherfuckers here at all. None of them have ever helped you, let alone even like you. Not to mention you'll have to put up with their bullshit. At least collecting scrap metal doesn't require you to deal with anyone else, but the question whether or not you'll even collect enough shit to make more than a few bucks, plus there's gas money you're actually spending in order to drive your truck around looking for scrap.
  
  And you can't do both, its far too late in the day now for that, even if you were so inclined to do so.
  
  > do odd jobs around the trailer park
  Well you go door to door to every trailer like a damn transient asking if they need anything done, only getting doors slammed in your face, people telling you to fuck off or getting hit on by cross dressers. Actually this would be easier if you didn't live in trailer park that was paved with fucking gravel. It's not like you can offer to mow their lawn. And it's not winter so you can't offer to shovel snow. And trailers don't have gutters to clean...
  
  Did you even think this through? Of course not!
  
  Okay there IS something you can do, you can either drive to some real neighborhood in town and try to ask people for something to do there, (good luck with that) or there's an old lady that lives in a rickety house nearby the trailer park, which means you wouldn't have to go too far and she's probably got tons of things for you to do. Of course she's crazier than a shithouse rat though. Or cat rather. She has like one hundred of the fluffy bastards.
  
  > drive to a neighborhood
  You ain't wasting gas money so you go to the nearest neighborhood and look for the shittiest house that you can find and go see what they want done.
  
  You knock on the door and little kid answers it.
  
  "Who you?"
  "I'm the fuckin' muffin man you little shit. Your parents home?"
  "Pawents? You mean mommy?"
  "Well yeah who else would the fuck I be talkin' bout?"
  "There lots of men come see mommy. Did you mean them too?"
  "Uh, no kid. Well if yer Mom isn't too busy, tell her there's someone to see her."
  
  A very worn woman with a cigarette in her mouth comes to the door.
  "Who the fuck are you? I don't remember ever meeting you before. Did Dale refer you here to me? I told that sick fuck that I don't do that shit! So you better get your golden shower ass out of here!"
  "Golden..? I don't wanna know. Look I'm tryin' to find some work to do, so if you need something done around your house I'll do it for money."
  "Ha ha ha! Sounds like my slogan! Well I could use a break today. Some me time, a chance to hussle up some new customers. So I'll tell ya what, you do what I got lined up and I'll pay ya three hundred."
  "Are you serious? Three fuckin' hundred?"
  "Yep, what? You think I can't afford it? Shit I probably could buy an' sell your ass."
  "Yeah, yeah, I can tell by this fuckin' PALACE you live in, so what do you need done?"
  "Look after my brat while I'm gone for today."
  
  Well that's really nice parenting. Leaving her kid with a complete stranger while she goes whoring around. Child protective services would have a field day. However, you need the money, and you're not a pervert so it's not really a concern of yours. Your concern is more along the lines of whether you want to put up with the little shit.
  
  > accept her offer
  "Alright, I'll look after him, how long you gonna be gone for? Better not be all fuckin' night cause I ain't stayin' here forever!"
  "I'll be out as long as I want, an' if you want that money you'll stick around 'till I get back! I ain't gonna be gone all night though, I gotta early day tomorrow, thus the need for me to have some time just for fun."
  "Don't you normally do that everyday?"
  "Alright wise ass that's enough outta you! That ain't fun that's fuckin' WORK! Anyway enough of this shit, I'm gonna leave, BOBBY! Getcher ass in here! This man's...what's your name?"
  "Mel."
  "Mel's gonna look after ya." The woman says and then leaves.
  
  Bobby picks his nose and looks at you in confusion. You make your way to the refrigerator and look for beer. Jackpot. Now to waste time by sitting on your ass and watching TV. Unfortunately Bobby seems to feel the need to play twenty questions with you.
  
  "Why is the sky bwue?"
  "Don't know."
  "Where did Mommy go?"
  "Don't care."
  "Where do babies come fwom?"
  "Christ shut the fuck up; I'm tryin' to watch the game! Don't you have some friends to fuckin' play with?"
  "You wanna see my fwog?"
  
  Well there's a couple ways you could approach this situation.
  
  > ignore Bobby
  Little Bobby has annoyed the shit out countless horny 40 year old men who want to fuck his Mom, despite all their efforts to ignore him and concentrate on her. What chance have you got?
  
  Well at first you think you're gotten rid of the little shit, with your harsh words, but little Bobby's heard worse from his Mom, so that doesn't have any effect. Instead he comes back with a box.
  
  "Wanna see what's inside? Wanna see what's inside? Wanna see what's inside?"
  "No, I sa..." before you can reply to Bobby's repetitive whine, he opens the box anyway, and out comes the biggest, fattest frog you've ever seen leaping into your lap.
  "Agh! My nuts!" you shout in surprise.
  It startles you so much; you end up jumping backwards from your sitting position, over the couch and falling on your head to the floor. The frog at this point has leaped away again and is hopping all over the place.
  
  "My fwog! My fwog! You gotta help me catch it!" Bobby yells.
  
  As you get up and rub your head, you begin to wonder if this is all worth it.
  
  > Leave
  You go to the refrigerator, grab all the beer you can and then head towards the front door.
  "Where are you gowing?"
  "Fuck this, kid. You're on your own. I didn't sign up to be a fuckin' zoo keeper." You say and leave.
  
  You go home and drink yourself into a stupor as usual. Tina gets home and sighs, she decides to go straight to bed, but before she does, you ask her a ground breaking question.
  
  "Hey (hic!) baby! You ever want (hic!) kids?"
  "Are you fuckin' kidding me? Fuck no! I'd be the one doing all the fucking work! What the hell would you do? Teach the kid how to be a lazy slob who drinks all fuckin' day?"
  "(Hic!) Okay one less thing for me to (hic!) worry 'bout."