text: [Themes: Nature, Travel, Humor, sea]
  
  > Aft
  The whole back half of the boat is open, allowing you to view the surroundings without intervening windows — if you can stand the cold.
  
  You can see a cooler (in which are a cold beer and a piece of glacier ice) here.
  
  There's a huge splash to starboard.
  
  You can hear the captain ranting about something in the cabin. It sounds like his words might be interlaced with swears.
  
  > get the beer
  Taken.
  
  The captain is obviously not thinking straight. You might not be an Alaskan boat captain, but surely there's a way out of this. Think!
  
  You can hear the captain screaming about something in the cabin. It sounds like his words might be interlaced with swears.
  
  > drink the beer
  You open the beer, which sounds as if it still has some fizz to it,
  and you take a sip.
  
  Okay, that's oddly refreshing, despite making you feel even colder
  than you already were.
  
  You can hear the captain panicking about something in the cabin. It sounds like his words might be interlaced with swears.
  
  > examine the finder
  Useful for knowing how deep the water is, so you don't end up on a
  reef like Captain Hazelwood.
  
  > examine the finder
  Useful for knowing how deep the water is, so you don't end up on a
  reef like Captain Hazelwood.
  
  Somewhere close, the glacier makes a sound like a shotgun going off.
  
  > Turn finder
  It is fixed in place.
  
  > look at the sign
  You can get half-day and full-day sight-seeing tours, and half-day and full-day fishing trips.
  
  > look for the fish
  Sadly, you haven't any bait or traps, so your chances of encountering creatures from the depths is slim.
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  > switch off the finder
  You switch off the depth finder. The captain looks at you, frowning, and turns it right back on again.
  
  > switch off the finder
  You switch it off the depth finder again. The captain says, "Hey, don't touch that."
  
  > switch off the finder
  You slowly sneak your hand up when you think the captain's not looking and switch the depth finder off.
  
  "Look," says the captain, "that's not funny, and I'm definitely not amused, and I don't care if you want to hit a rock or whatever your death-wish is, but this is my boat and you need to keep your hands off of stuff. Got it?"
  
  You nod, but for some reason he doesn't look like he believes you.
  
  Somewhere out of sight, you hear a giant splash.
  
  > examine the splash
  There've been all sorts of splashes all morning: some small, like when a seal hops off an iceberg or a diving bird goes after a fish, and others immense, such as when the glacier calves off another giant
  piece of ice.
  
  > switch off the finder
  You reach up to touch the depth finder, and the captain slaps your hand. Ouch!
  
  > listen
  You hear the low rumble of the boats engine idling.
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  > fiddle with the finder
  You go to turn off the depth finder, and the captain goes to slap you again.
  
  You decide not to turn off the depth finder.
  
  You make out a faint scratching sound, like ice rubbing against the boat.
  
  > listen
  You hear the low rumble of the boats engine idling.
  
  > Aft
  (first opening the cabin door)
  
  The whole back half of the boat is open, allowing you to view the surroundings without intervening windows — if you can stand the cold.
  
  All around the boat bob chunks of glacier ice.
  
  You can also see a cooler (closed) here.
  
  > listen
  This isn't at all like home: no car alarms, no sirens, just... nature.
  
  Little bits of glacier ice scratch against the ship's hull.
  
  > open the backpack
  You open the backpack, revealing a warm beer.
  
  > drink the beer
  You're not really in the mood for a warm beer.
  
  You hear a bird cry off in the distance, but can't seem to locate it.
  
  You hear an odd barking, almost roaring sound, far off.
  ...could there be sea lions around here? Gosh, there probably could be.
  
  > listen to the bird
  They're far too far away, and besides, wild animals are best left alone.
  
  > look at the icebergs
  Bergs of various sizes bob up and down all around you, some of them nearly as large as the boat, others small enough to hold in your hand. They are so thick in the bay that the boat occasionally must scrape against them to make its way through the water, but the captain is skilled at this, and the hull is solid enough to do this at slow speeds.
  
  Off in the distance, you can see a harbor seal and her pup hauled out on one of the larger, flatter bergs.
  
  You hear the glacier pop, far in the distance.
  
  > look at the harbor seal
  There are harbor seals everywhere, and as the boat drifts and changes direction, it's hard to keep track of any one seal in particular.
  Quite close to the boat, though, you see a seal swimming through the water. It looks a bit like a sleek, wet, spotted dog in profile, but it swims more gracefully than any dog you've ever seen. Suddenly it turns, makes eye contact, and bobs before making what appears to be a deep dive.
  
  > look for the sea lions
  Hm, yeah, there could be sea lions up here, you suppose... you search the shore, and sure enough, there is a group of them hauled out on the eastern shore of the bay.
  
  Little bits of glacier ice scratch against the ship's hull.
  
  > look for the penguins
  Didn't you hear? The North American penguin is endangered. Your chances of seeing one are really, really low.
  
  > look for the polar bear
  There aren't any of those here, and even if there were, wild animals are best left alone. Especially polar bears.
  
  > listen to the penguins
  Look, penguins live in the southern hemisphere, not here, you idiot.
  
  Somewhere close, the glacier makes a sound like a shotgun going off.
  
  > examine Glacier
  The Hubbard Glacier appears, at this distance, as a towering wall of ice. It rises nearly three hundred feet high from the waterline, and the wind off its face chills you noticeably, despite the sunny day.
  You have to wonder if the boat is far enough away from the glacier should an entire column of ice break free... but you know that the captain knows these waters extremely well and that he'll get you close enough for the experience you paid for, but will keep his boat in the clear.
  
  > Xyzzy
  Isn't this place magical enough for you?
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  > Plover
  Yes, yes there are small brown birds around here. Well done.
  
  > jump
  You jump on the spot, but not without fruit: the boat seems to rock, ever so slightly from your efforts.
  
  > Sing
  Your singing is abominable.
  
  You make out a faint scratching sound, like ice rubbing against the boat.
  
  > About yourself
  You have dreamed of coming to Alaska your entire life, and you're finally here.
  
  > Lick birds
  They're far too far away, and besides, wild animals are best left alone.
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  > look for the wildlife
  You suppose in a place this wild there must be animals everywhere, and where you look will dictate what you see. The seals seem to be on the icebergs, for instance, but you'd probably only see a bear if you were specifically looking for one on the distant shore.
  
  > search the shore
  That's far too far away.
  
  > examine the shore
  The shores on both sides of the bay, which are quite far off, appear
  to be pretty rocky. Just beyond them, thick vegetation lines the shore, quickly sloping up and away into terrain too steep to easiliy climb. You skim the beach, looking for bears, because the captain
  said there was a pretty good chance of seeing one.
  
  Somewhere out of sight, you hear a giant splash.
  
  You hear an odd barking, almost roaring sound, far off.
  It's those sea lions again.
  
  > look at it
  The shores on both sides of the bay, which are quite far off, appear
  to be pretty rocky. Just beyond them, thick vegetation lines the shore, quickly sloping up and away into terrain too steep to easiliy climb. You skim the beach, looking for bears, because the captain
  said there was a pretty good chance of seeing one.
  
  > look for the bears
  You scan the beach, knowing that sometimes bears come down to look for clams or other tidepool foods — and you see one! This one is a large grizzly.
  
  > talk to the bear
  It's far too far away, and besides, wild animals are best left alone.
  
  You hear a bird cry off in the distance, but can't seem to locate it.
  
  > watch the bear
  There's a grizzly bear on the rocky beach, flipping over rocks in search of food. It sniffs the ground, checking something out.
  
  > Oops grizzly
  There's a grizzly bear on the rocky beach, flipping over rocks in search of food. It nudges a stone with its snout.
  
  > keep going
  There's a grizzly bear on the rocky beach, flipping over rocks in search of food. How cool — it appears to have found a clam. It takes
  a seat, pries the shell open, and enjoys some lunch.
  
  You hear the glacier pop, far in the distance.
  
  > look in the backpack
  In the backpack is a warm beer.
  
  > put the beer in the cooler
  You open the cooler and place the beer inside the it.
  
  > look in the cooler
  In the cooler is a warm beer.
  
  You make out a faint scratching sound, like ice rubbing against the boat.
  
  > continue
  In the cooler is a warm beer.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a backpack (open but empty)
  a pair of sunglasses (being worn)
  
  Somewhere close, the glacier makes a sound like a shotgun going off.
  
  > go east
  Compass directions make no sense on this tiny boat, but you can use
  AFT and FORE (abbreviated as A or F) to move around.
  
  > open bench
  You open the storage compartment, revealing a net and a warm Coke.
  
  You hear the glacier pop, far in the distance.
  
  > Aft
  The whole back half of the boat is open, allowing you to view the surroundings without intervening windows — if you can stand the cold.
  
  All around the boat bob chunks of glacier ice.
  
  You can also see a cooler (in which is a warm beer) here.
  
  Somewhere close, the glacier makes a sound like a shotgun going off.
  
  > put the ice in the cooler
  You dump the ice from the net into the ice chest.
  
  > look at the beer
  An Alaskan Amber, made not far from here, in Juneau.
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  You hear an odd barking, almost roaring sound, far off.
  It's those sea lions again.
  
  > remove the glasses
  You take off the pair of sunglasses.
  
  > look in the cooler
  In the cooler are a piece of glacier ice and a cold beer.
  
  > get the beer then drink it
  Taken.
  
  You make out a faint scratching sound, like ice rubbing against the boat.
  
  You open the beer, which sounds as if it still has some fizz to it,
  and you take a sip.
  
  Okay, that's oddly refreshing, despite making you feel even colder
  than you already were.
  
  > drink the beer
  Yeah, nice and smooth.
  
  > drink the beer
  You enjoy another sip, and decide that you may have to buy a case of this stuff to take home.
  
  You hear a bird cry off in the distance, but can't seem to locate it.
  
  > drink the beer
  Ahhh, this is good. Wonder if they brew any other good stuff. Maybe you'll do a layover in Juneau on the way home, and take a tour of the Alaskan Brewing Company's facility. That'd be fun.
  
  > listen to the beer
  This isn't at all like home: no car alarms, no sirens, just... nature.
  
  > drink beer
  Okay, darn, this seems like the last sip, and it's mostly just backwash.
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  > drink the beer
  Yep, that was it. No more beer.
  
  > drink the beer
  Sorry, all gone.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a cold beer
  a warm Coke
  a net
  a backpack (open but empty)
  a pair of sunglasses
  
  You hear a low rumble, like thunder, that tells you the glacier's calved off another ice berg somewhere nearby.
  
  > talk to Captain
  "You know," says the captain, "I never get sick of coming up here.
  It's just so beautiful."
  
  > Keep going
  "It is incredibly surreal up here by the glacier," you say, "thanks
  for bringing me up here."
  
  "Yeah, I'd say 'You're welcome,' except that, y'know, you're paying me pretty well to do this."
  
  You hear the water lap gently against the boat.
  
  > continue
  "So, where's all this ice coming from?"
  
  "Way up in those mountains, over seventy miles from here. This is the longest tidewater glacier in North America. The ice takes decades to travel this far."
  
  > talk to Captain
  "Really?" you ask. "Just decades? I thought glacier ice was, like, ancient or something."
  
  "Well, I guess some glacier ice might be, but this glacier moves
  pretty fast, so the ice calves off into the sea and melts before it
  can get too old."
  
  Somewhere close, the glacier makes a sound like a shotgun going off.
  
  > listen to Captain
  The captain is quiet, watching the instruments and navigating the
  boat.
  
  > talk to Captain
  "So, why's some of the ice blue?" you ask.
  
  "It's because of how dense the ice is... the ice absorbs most of the light and in some spots all that escapes is the blue."
  
  > continue
  "Why's the water so chalky looking?"
  
  "Man, you're just full of questions, aren't you?" The captain looks a little bit annoyed, but he recovers quickly. "It's because as the glacier moves through the mountains it grinds down rock, some of it into a fine powder, and it carries that powder in all the water runoff and stuff, and so eventually that spills out into the ocean and close to the glacier all that sediment gets churned up in the water, so it looks like that."
  
  You make out a faint scratching sound, like ice rubbing against the boat.
  
  You hear an odd barking, almost roaring sound, far off.
  It's those sea lions again.
  
  > Continue
  "Say, you want to hear a joke?" the captain asks, switching tracks.
  You shrug and nod your head.
  
  "Have you seen that movie, Titanic?" You nod your head.
  "And have you seen The Sixth Sense?" You nod your head
  again. The captain leans forward, grinning childishly, "You know
  what those two films have in common??"
  
  You think about it for a second. "Um, no," you admit.
  
  "ICY DEAD PEOPLE!" He laughs, like this is the first time he's ever told this joke (you're actually quite sure it's more like the millionth). "Get it? I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!"
  
  > talk to Captain
  "Want to hear another joke?" You're about to tell him no, when he says, "Why did the shark wear a tuxedo? Because he was dressed to kill!"
  
  Oh, brother.
  
  > talk to Captain
  "Okay, okay, you'll love this next one," says the captain. "How do harbor seals like their soda? ON THE ROCKS!"
  
  The captain laughs hard at first, then looks around at all the ice bergs and to the shore not far away, and his laughter sputters out.
  "I guess that's not too funny, huh, us being in a boat and all."
  
  The glacier is quiet for a moment, and you realize it's been making so much noise you're surprised by the silence.
  
  > talk to Captain
  "Wait," you point out. "You thought that Titanic joke was
  hilarious, but the silly harbor seal joke is unnerving?"
  
  Silence from the captain. I think he's pretending not to have heard you.
  
  > look for the icebergs
  They're beautiful, and you could probably take a small one if you had the right tool, but really, they're better admired from afar for the most part.
  
  You make out a faint scratching sound, like ice rubbing against the boat.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a cold beer
  a warm Coke
  a net
  a backpack (open but empty)
  a pair of sunglasses
  
  > give the beer to Captain
  "I don't drink on the job, thanks," he says. "You can help yourself if you want it, though."
  
  > Y.
  debugcheapnitfol quit with exit status: 0