text: [Themes: Romance, Humor, romance]
  
  > Look around
  Playground, tower base
  The tower stands here, a protective cage of steel, sturdily erected in the soil and gravel.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a black mask (being worn)
  a fake moustache (being worn)
  a pair of buckled boots (being worn)
  a velvet cloak (being worn)
  a rakish hat (being worn)
  a locket (being worn and open)
  a silhouette
  a tiny lock of brown hair
  a grouch bag (being worn)
  
  > run
  You'll have to say which compass direction to go in.
  
  > go east
  "Harold Finster!" Uh oh. It's Constable Adams! You climb inside the bars of the tower where she can't get you. "No one can catch the Kissing Bandit!" you bellow.
  
  Miss Adams storms up. "Get out of there this minute, Harold. I'm not kidding." She grabs you by the arm and pushes her face close to yours. "If you don't come out in five seconds, I'm going to come in and carry you out, and not necessarily in one piece!"
  
  Her face, her skin, so lovely... perhaps the Kissing Bandit could strike again, even now?
  
  > Kiss constable adams
  You lean through the bars and give her a big smack right on the gob. Her eyes fly wide open, becoming two great orbs, beaming invisible rays of heat death right at you. Good thing your special cloak protects you.
  
  "That does it!" shouts a purpling Miss Adams. "Harold Finster, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I've had complaints from at least three girls today. You're going to the principal's office right now!"
  
  Miss Adams pulls you out of the monkey bars drags you inside. The chief constable has been waiting to catch the Smooching Bandit for years, and now you're being delivered into his fiendish clutches. You'll be locked in the detention tower for sure, but first, interrogation and torture.
  
  You scoff. The Smooching Bandit can withstand anything for the sake of a kiss... One day, he will be free to strike again!
  
  [Hit return or space to continue.]
  "Except then came the unkindest cut of all, a wound deep to the heart of the Kissing Bandit! Something even he could not withstand! For there, at the edge of the schoolyard, laughing at him, mocking him in word an gesture, stood Mary Anne Mackelroy! Oh, surely the unkindest cut of all!
  
  'He gives slobbery smooches,' she teased. 'And he always smells like raisins. Eww!'
  
  'Ah, fair Marianne -- ' choked the Bandit as he was led away, his spirit now broken. 'Marianne... '"
  
  "And?" Jenny asks, looking at you like you're a little bit nuts.
  
  "And, that's the end of the Tale of the Kissing Bandit," you say, shrugging. You prop yourself up on one elbow to adjust your pillow. You lie your head down on it, your goofy smile aimed at the ceiling. "That's the end."
  
  > look at Jenny
  She looks lovely in this light. Her face is a little shiny, and her hair is a bit tussled, but there's no denying the affect her warm smile has on you tonight. Man, you're still as crazy about her as ever.
  
  "That was stupid," Jenny says.
  
  You're a little hurt by that. "No it wasn't!" you protest. "Besides, what do you expect when you ask me to make something up off the top of my head?"
  
  "You were supposed to come up with something romantic."
  
  "Well, I thought it was funny-romantic. And I liked the twist ending."
  
  "Yeah, yeah, yeah," she says, "You and your twist endings."
  
  > Kiss Jenny
  "So," you say, as you give Jenny a little kiss. "Did you like my story or not?"
  
  "mmm," she says. "Kiss me again and I'll tell you."
  
  > Kiss Jenny
  You give Jenny a better, longer kiss. She smiles. You chuckle.
  
  "What's funny?" Jenny asks.
  
  "You're a smiler, just like Lily Whitestone-- Ack!." She pokes you in the ribs.
  
  "Just kiss me again, or I'll really let you have it."
  
  > Kiss Jenny
  You kiss for several minutes, finally breaking for some fresh air. "Happy Valentine's Day," you say.
  
  "Happy Valentine's Day," Jenny says. "I love you."
  
  "I love you too," you say. "I adore you."
  
  "That's so sweet," she says. "Thank you. And thank you for the story." She sneaks across the room on tip-toes and blows out the candle.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  Bedroom, in darkness (on the bed)
  It's dark, and you can't see a thing except the faintly glowing outline of the bedroom window shade, which is drawn shut.
  
  You feel Jenny climb back onto the foot of the bed. She rubs her hands on your legs. "Okay, my turn again," she says.
  
  "Okay, your turn," you hear yourself echo.
  
  > Kiss Jenny
  Nothing to do but wait.
  
  > wait awhile
  Nothing left to do. Time passes.
  
  Jenny crawls higher.
  
  > Notes
  N = next subjectP = previous
  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
  
  > About the game
  Dedication
  Enough already
  The Kissing Bandit
  Amusing
  Apology
  The Tale of the Kissing Bandit was written and programmed by J. Robinson Wheeler. One of these days, it would be nice to actually take enough time writing a game that I get to flesh it out as fully as originally conceived.
  
  If you enjoyed this game, I would love to hear from you. Send comments and reports to rob.wheeler@stanfordalumni.org.
  
  N = next subjectP = previous
  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
  
  > About the game
  Dedication
  Enough already
  The Kissing Bandit
  Amusing
  Apology
  
  > Go north
  N = next subjectP = previous
  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
  
  > Dedication
  Enough already
  The Kissing Bandit
  Amusing
  Apology
  To Emily Short, who passive-aggressively forced me to finish, even though I had already decided I didn't have time to. The rather thin and spotty implementation, empty rooms, and suchlike are to be blamed on this mad, last-ditch effort to please.
  
  N = next subjectP = previous
  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
  
  > Dedication
  Enough already
  The Kissing Bandit
  Amusing
  Apology
  
  > Go north
  N = next subjectP = previous
  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
  
  > Enough already
  The Kissing Bandit
  Amusing
  Apology
  
  > Flee
  The Kissing Bandit grows suffocated by these surroundings! With a dashing twirl of your cape, you turn and steal away into the night ...
  
  [Hit return or space to continue.]
  Garden park
  The luscious gardens, abloom in the early spring, send forth their heady aromas on the nuzzling breezes. Aloft, too, are the erotic perfumes of the finely dressed ladies in white, walking two by two in the early eve, innocent as does, poised as summer swans.
  
  A choice maiden sits alone on a bench, reading a steamy novel by gaslight. Mwuhaha-HA! The Smooching Bandit has at last chosen his first of the evening. A burning buss on those pink smackers will do, will surely do...
  
  > get it
  (on with the maiden)
  Good heavens! The Kissing Bandit's intentions stop at the innocent kiss!
  
  > Go south
  Emerson Hotel, second floor
  Vast crimson carpeting tongues outward from the mouth of the ballroom portal and sprials slowly clockwise down the broad staircase to the public lobby of the hotel.
  
  > go north
  Grand Ballroom, south side
  The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high society's young and old. Exits lead in all directions.
  
  A lovely young demoiselle, looking in her ruffled ball gown like a plenteous dish of peaches and whipped cream, parts from the general company. Fanning herself, she retreats to the west.