text: [Themes: Humor, Science Fiction, sidekick NPC, sexual content, gorilla, lewdness setting, mad scientist]
  
  > look around
  One of the less pleasant aspects of running a palace is the sheer volume of dirty laundry its occupants produce. Why, the 8379 husbands alone could keep a crew of cleaners sleepless. Add in the servants, cooks, gardeners, stablehands, jesters, visiting nobles, brothers-in-law in virtual permanent residence... Suffice it to say that there's one hell of a lot of dirty laundry here. You can barely see the exit to the north through it all.
  Tiffany is here, doing some quick limbering exercises.
  
  > examine the laundry
  That's not important; leave it alone.
  
  > Go north
  Tiffany trails along.
  
  > Go east
  These twisted trees and elegant footbridges are even more beautiful than the gardens of the most lavish Fu Manchu films. Paths from the north, southeast, and west meet at a large well of hand-carved stone in the center of the garden.
  Tiffany loyally stays at your side.
  
  > go southeast
  A slender tower protrudes magnificently above the palace grounds. A stair winds up into the tower and an oriental garden spreads out to the northwest.
  Tiffany follows you.
  
  > Go upwards
  By standing erect at the parapet of this mighty tower, you command
  an exciting view. Below, gardens and courtyards intermingle with the palace buildings, forming a fertile oasis in the Martian desert. Off to the west, docks straddle a deep canal. On the far shore, sand dunes lap at crumbling buildings. On the top step of a winding stair is a black circle.
  Tiffany trails along.
  
  > go north
  The good news is that this hall is intoxicatingly beautiful, laid
  with the snow-white fur of the rare Martian Velvetworm and endowed with platinum arches and balustrades. Silky curtains embrace openings to the south, southwest, and west.
  The bad news is that no woman has ever entered the Audience Chamber
  of the Sultaness and departed alive.
  The Sultaness is here, enthroned.
  Tiffany trails along.
  "Ah," says the Sultaness, "a visitor. This is pleasing; it was
  turning out to be a very dull morning." She clears her throat. "The rules: I will pose a riddle. If you answer it correctly, you may spend one hour with any of my husbands. If you answer incorrectly, you will die. If you do not answer, you will die. If you enter the harem before answering, you will die. If you attempt to leave, you will die. If you touch me in any way, you will die. If I happen to sneeze, you will die. If any situation not covered by the rules occurs, you will die." She motions to one of the palace eunuchs. "Go tell the animal tenders not to feed the tigers yet." Pause. "Are you ready?"
  
  > No
  "Too bad." You never actually notice where the tiger comes from, only that it seems very very very very ferocious.
  
  > Go east
  These twisted trees and elegant footbridges are even more beautiful than the gardens of the most lavish Fu Manchu films. Paths from the north, southeast, and west meet at a large well of hand-carved stone in the center of the garden.
  Tiffany follows you.
  
  > Go west
  A well-armed male guard blocks you. "Congratulations on your performance," he says in a bored voice. You wonder how the guard can be so unmoved by your historic feat. As though sensing your thoughts, the guard says, "The Sultaness likes to pretend that no one's ever gotten the riddle, but someone got it last year, the word spread around, and now everyone knows the answer. You're the twelfth winner this week already. She sent away to Maude's House of Riddles on Ganymede for a new one, but the mail is so slow..." The guard shakes his head. "Well, pick a husband; any number from 1 to 8379. Don't waste time thinking; they're all clones anyway." He looks at you expectantly.
  
  > Pick 3906
  The guard, walking off, says, "I'll summon that one. You may enter."
  
  > enter
  This is a sensuous location of silks and satins and furs. A draped exit leads east. A pleasant odor tickles mischievously at your nose.
  
  > Sniff
  [Scratch 'n' sniff spot number 4. Hit the RETURN/ENTER key to continue.]
  It seems that the Sultaness likes her husbands to wear fine cologne.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes...
  A figure, completely cloaked in veils of silk, enters and beckons
  you deeper into the harem...
  
  This luxurious bedroom, presumably one of many throughout the
  harem, is appointed with a multitude of exotic furs, warm to the touch as though still alive. The heady aroma of cologne and incense mingle in the air. There's an exit to the southeast.
  Sultaness' husband #3906 touches a button at the shoulder of his
  tunic and it slowly floats to the floor. He pulls you down onto the furs, whispering in a husky voice, "For an hour, I am yours."
  
  > Kiss husband
  Sultaness' husband #3906 moans softly and draws closer to you.
  
  > Mount husband
  Let's not beat around the bush. Come out and say what you mean.
  
  > Fuck husband
  Sultaness' husband #3906 draws you into his arms. As your hands explore his firm, strong body, a faint sweaty, musky odor triggers a passionate fire within you, and you find yourself warming to the occasion. Your lovemaking is slow and gentle, and as you reach a crescendo of pleasure, you cry out softly, passionately, and repeatedly. "Oh," moans Sultaness' husband #3906, "say my number again ... say it in French..."
  Much later, you and Sultaness' husband #3906 fall back upon the furs, basking in the aura of postcoital bliss.
  
  > kiss your kneecaps
  "Smack."
  
  > kiss your kneecaps
  "Oh," whispers Sultaness' husband #3906, "you're from the rebels! Here's the secret map," he says, laying a secret map at your feet, "and here's a reliable torch," he says, lighting a reliable torch and placing it next to the map. He moves some furs to reveal a secret entrance leading downwards. "The only way out is through the catacombs -- if you come back this way with the secret map, the harem guards will..."
  
  > take all
  reliable torch: You're already juggling as many items as you could possibly carry.
  secret map: You're already juggling as many items as you could possibly carry.
  
  > examine the map
  This is the secret catacombs map that came in your LEATHER GODDESSES OF PHOBOS package.
  
  > Lgop1
  SAVEOkay.