text: [Themes: Fantasy, Satire]
  
  > Note 1
  [1]: Footnote markers are numbers enclosed in square brackets.
  
  > Note 2
  [2]: This is, as you might have guessed, the entrance to "Unnkulian Underworld: The Unknown Unventure." You can't get there from here!
  
  > About yourself
  You're a hulking Valley Warrior, one of the fittest of the Valley King's soldiers.
  
  > look at the ring
  The bronze ring is set with the seal of His Magnimosity, the Valley King. It will provide good passage through the Forest of Radeekal, and it probably carries some weight even in other lands.
  
  > examine the sword
  Your sword is your trusted friend. It's seen you through many a battle, and has the nicks and scars to prove it. Still, you keep it sharpened and polished. [3]
  
  > Note 3
  [3]: You thank the Gods daily that it's not an Acme Soopur-Slysur Whepun.
  
  > examine the trees
  The fall colors are coming to the Forest of Radeekal, and the woods are bathed in shimmering yellows and reds. It's a gorgeous sight, but warriors such as yourself should remain unmoved by beauty. The trees are mostly oak and birch, with a few ash and elm thrown in for good measure, but you can't tell them apart - you're a warrior, not a botanist. Through the trees, you sometimes catch glimpses of woodland creatures, too far off to determine just which adorable snugglies - er, potential dinners - they are.
  
  > examine the creatures
  When you approach the chattering forest creatures, they scamper away before you can get a close look. You probably wouldn't recognize them anyway; you're a warrior, not a zoologist.
  
  > examine the grate
  It's set in the forest floor. It's closed and locked. Below is only darkness.
  
  > Go south
  You're walking on a winding path that wends its way through a particularly thick part of the forest. The trees bend low overhead, and the sunlight filtering down through the colorful leaves is dim at best. The path runs north and east. To the south is a mound of moss-covered rocks and what looks like the entrance to a small grotto or cave.
  
  > examine the mound
  The great, jumbled mound of rocks is quite imposing. There's a dark opening near the bottom, directly to the south.
  
  > go to the south
  You're standing in a mossy cave carved from the living rock. A wide exit leads back out into the sun-dappled forest to the north. The floor and walls are solid rock, covered with lichens and fungi. It's quite peaceful here.
  
  You see a spray can here.
  
  > Examine can
  Tiny lettering on the side of the can reads:
  
  "Acme Dam Phowl Snayk Rheepehlant. Guaranteed results! Shake
  before using. To use, spray target with repellant. In case of failure, send proof of purchase to ACME Inc., c/o The Golden Dragon Inn, Radeekal Forest, Unnkulia."
  
  > get the repellant
  Taken.
  
  > examine the lichen
  It's quite soft, but rather yucky.
  
  > get the lichen
  Why would you want it?
  
  > eat the lichen
  You chomp on a big fistful of yucky mosses. Like most Unnkulian fungi, it's deadly poison. Urk!
  
  > go to the east
  The path ends in a small, dark clearing. The tree branches hang overhead, the thick canopy of leaves blocking almost all the light.
  The ground here is muddy and soft; your feet sink in a few inches. A granite shrine stands in the very center of the clearing. Curled around the base of the shrine is a large spotted snake, a huge monster at least twelve feet long. Leaning up against the shrine is a wooden oar. The snake is wrapped around it protectively. The only path leads back to the west.
  
  > examine the Snake
  The snake is beautifully marked, an alternating pattern of red, gold, and black diamonds. Inch-long fangs suggest it's probably poisonous. Written in tiny letters on its back are the words "Valley Death-Snake (TM). Hours of killing for the entire family." I guess it's one of the Valley King's guardians. It's curled around the oar, and I doubt it would let go.
  
  > examine the oar
  The snake is wrapped around it protectively.
  
  > examine the shrine
  It's a shrine dedicated to some long-forgotten prophet - Duhdha by name. No one's worshipped here for years. The shrine's a simple, modest granite pillar. You don't really know its significance - you're a warrior, not a priest. Tangled vines hang over the shrine, and weeds have sprung up around the bottom of the pillar. [4]
  
  > Note 4
  [4]: In the VK2 era, Duhdism is on the decline in the Valley. By VK3 (the time of UU1), Duhdism again will be the religion of Tode.
  
  > Shake can
  You shake the can vigorously. Suddenly, the can starts to hiss ominously - and then, without warning, it explodes, sending metal shards flying everywhere. Amazingly, you are unharmed - but the can has disintegrated!
  
  > spray the Snake
  What do you want to spray it with?
  
  > Repellant
  You point the can at the monster and fire. A cloud of sickly green mist surrounds the snake, but the creature seems completely unaffected. In fact, it takes a deep breath - I think it actually likes the stuff!
  
  > spray yourself with the repellant
  COUGH! I wouldn't do that again; that stuff is poisonous.
  
  > throw the repellant at Snake
  You miss.
  
  > get the oar
  You grab for the oar. The snake eyes you suspiciously, but doesn't lash out. For a moment, you think you're going to get away with it - and then, a few coils loop around your hand. You cry out as your wrist snaps, crushed in the tightening grasp of the snake. You pass out, and the snake feeds -
  
  > Attack snake
  What do you want to attack it with?
  
  > Sword
  Butchering the King's pet snake would get you in trouble. Better try something else.
  
  > look at the seal
  The bronze ring is set with the seal of His Magnimosity, the Valley King. It will provide good passage through the Forest of Radeekal, and it probably carries some weight even in other lands.
  
  > show the seal to the Snake
  The snake regards the ring silently. It seems a bit puzzled. I think it recognizes the King's seal, but it doesn't understand why you're showing the ring to it.
  
  > get the oar
  You grab for the oar. The snake eyes you suspiciously, but doesn't lash out. For a moment, you think you're going to get away with it - and then, a few coils loop around your hand. You cry out as your wrist snaps, crushed in the tightening grasp of the snake. You pass out, and the snake feeds -
  
  > give the oar to you
  You have lost your mind.
  
  > take the oar
  As you reach for the oar, the snake spots the ring on your finger. Since it's a loyal servant of the Valley King, it lets you have the paddle - though it still eyes you balefully.