text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  You pull the giant shiny fish costume on, amazed at how the scales look and feel. It's a rubbery, slimy costume with an odor not unlike that of whatever fish Frank is supposed be.
  
  As you slip the costume on you remember how brave Frank the Fish was on the cartoon; always rescuing his friend Happy from the evil clutches of Dastardly Dog. It would be good to parade around the park as the notoriously trustworthy friend of Happy Duck, you think as you walk out of the costume closet and through the expansive office to the door on the far wall.
  
  You go through the door to the souvenir shop and the wave to the young woman behind the counter. She waves back smiling, but as you pass her she calls something to you that you can't quite hear beneath the costume. You turn around to find out what she wanted.
  
  "I said your zipper is down," She tells you.
  
  You flush with embarrassment and instinctively move your hands to cover your manhood before you realize that she is most likely talking about the costume zipper.
  
  "Here," She says; "Let me help." She walks out from behind the counter and zips your costume up in the back.
  
  "Thanks," You say; "If not for you they would've all known that I wasn't the real Frank the Fish."
  
  She laughs a little at your remark. "You're a brave soul to wear that costume, you know," She says.
  
  "Why's that?" You ask.
  
  "The last three people dressed as Frank the Fish were killed. Some say the costume is cursed." She grins a little in mockery. "If you believe that sort of thing."
  
  You swallow hard and try not to feel intimidated. You're glad the costume hides the look of fear that must be evident on your face. The last three people that wore this have died. The thought terrifies you more than a little.
  
  "It's probably just superstition," You reason aloud to reassure your self as well as to sound braver than you feel.
  
  "I don't know," She argues; "I knew the last guy. He was a real nice kid. A tarantula climbed up inside of there and bit him a half dozen times."
  
  "I'll be fine," You tell her.
  
  "Let's hope," She says; "Good luck out there."
  
  You thank her and exit the gift shop, looking around in search of a destination. Where would it be better for Frank the Fish to hang out and greet Ducky Park patrons, you wonder. Initially you think the Water Zone would be best considering that you are supposed to be a fish and fish should be in the water, but then you start to think about the stage area where all the shows are.
  
  The Water Zone seems the obvious place to find a fish, you think. But the show area is where people expect to find the celebrities.
  
  Realizing that you can't stand there forever, you force yourself to reach a decision. What do you decide on?
  
  > The Water Zone
  You decide that a fish out of water would be a terribly inaccurate representation of the legacy which is Frank the Fish. You walk through the park towards the water area where the rapids and swimming pool lye.
  
  "Hey," One of the swimmers calls, "It's Frank the Fish!" You turn to see her, a young lady with the body of a model wearing a provocative bikini. She is dripping wet from the water slide she just went down and approaches you, her breasts bouncing with each step. She embraces you in a hug that you return with enthusiasm. You wish you didn't have to let go, but she eventually pulls away and leaves you standing there grinning like an idiot beneath your mask.
  
  You wonder around the water area waving to families and generally being a positive representation of Frank the Fish. Children hug you and adults take your picture as you walk around the Water Zone area. All in all you feel like a great success and everyone seems to love you.
  
  After an hour or so you hear a cry for help and turn to the pool where a small child struggles to stay above the surface in the deep end. The boy is frantic and the life guard doesn't seem to notice. A hushed panic overtakes the crowd and the lifeguard at last turns his attention to the child. He climbs down from his perch quickly, but you realize that he won't be able to get there before the child slips beneath the surface. Someone has to do something!
  
  Remembering that you are supposed to be the heroic and noble companion to Happy Duck, you do what Frank the Fish ought to do in a situation like this; hop the fence and dive into the water to save the child. Frank the Fish is nothing if not courageous, and now it is he who must come to the rescue.
  
  You hop the knee-high fence easily enough and run the twenty feet to the edge of the pool before diving in; a giant silver fish returning to its aquatic home. You dive into the water and bob quickly to the surface. Unfortunately the fish costume restricts your movements and as the water soaks into the material you soon sink to the bottom, more a rock than a fish. You struggle to get out of the suit but realize the futility of your actions with the zipper behind you. While the fish costume has an uncanny resemblance to a real fish in appearance, it apparently does not give you the ability to breathe water.
  
  Your lungs are soon heavy with water and you begin convulsing and fighting for oxygen which cannot be obtained. Your lungs feel like two heavy stones; weighing you down at the bottom of the pool. As you begin to panic you flail your arms and legs, desperately groping for something, anything; but finding nothing.
  
  Above you a lifeguard pulls the child to safety. You hope and pray that someone comes for you, but you realize that by the time anyone does reaches you, you will already be dead.
  
  Vaguely you remember the curse the girl in the gift shop told you about as everything goes dark and the pain soon ends. Frank the Fish; dead at the bottom of the pool. You wonder if you will eventually float to the surface like your goldfish used to do.
  
  The curse of Frank the Fish's costume. Victim number four.