text: [Themes: Fantasy, Satire]
  
  > go downwards
  You're standing on the bottom floor of the newly-constructed
  lighthouse of the Valley King. Not being one to waste building-space, His Grandiosity has turned this lower floor into the mint for valmids, the coin of the realm. A huge coin press occupies the center of the room. Since the workers work at night, minding both the press and the lighthouse, there's no one here right now. A stone staircase leads up, winding around the outside of the lighthouse to the top floor. The only other exit is south, back out of the lighthouse.
  
  > examine spade
  It's a short-handled iron spade, handy for digging.
  
  > examine trowel
  One of the workmen must have left it behind.
  
  > Go south
  You're standing on the highest plateau on this side of the lake.
  Below, to the south, the forest stretches out, a vast expanse of impenetrable green foliage. To the southwest and west, you can see the waters of Lake Draounheer, sparkling in the bright sunshine, while across the lake are the snow-capped peaks of the Beegas'hell mountains. North of the lake is the vast unknown reaches of the Damsogee Swamp, unexplored by mortal man and said to be home to ferocious beasts and fearsome monsters. To the north stands a newly-built lighthouse, the latest public work ordered by the Valley King, its stone walls impressive and firm. The entrance to the lighthouse stands open to the north. The only other safe path down from the plateau leads back toward the cliff to the southwest.
  
  > go southwest
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [7]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [7]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  The six thugs that make up the Valley Patrol are here, leaning on
  their pikes. They appear to be loafing on the job.
  
  The Valley Patrol leader grins at you. He's missing at least four front teeth. "Hiya, chum."
  
  > get berries
  You pluck the berries from the bush. Soon, the bush is stripped clean, and you've got a nice little handful of berries. I wouldn't let the King catch you with them if I were you -
  
  > put the berries in the pouch
  You can't fit that in the small leather pouch.
  
  The Valley Patrol marches up from the south.
  
  > go west
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [7]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [7]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  The Valley Patrol walks up from the east.
  
  > go south
  You're standing on the eastern shore of Lake Draounheer. Across the sparkling blue waters, you can see the snow-covered caps of the Beeg'ashell Mountains, deep in the heart of evil Unnkulia. But here, on this side of the lake, you could truly find peace. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and reeds bend gracefully in the brisk fall breezes. To the east, a path leads back into the forest. North of here, the land slopes up sharply, and the path continues. You could also go southwest, along the shore of the lake - further along, the grassy lakeshore turns into a sandy beach.
  
  The Valley Patrol ambles down from the north.
  
  > examine Patrol
  The Valley Patrol is made up of thugs who couldn't cut it as Valley Warriors. The King lets them patrol the forest, and hopes they won't do too much harm. They're quite stupid-looking (even more so than you) and you're almost certain that their foreheads slope a bit more than normal. They're dressed in the green-and-white livery of His Holymutha, the Valley King, and wielding nasty-looking pikes. The leader of the Valley Patrol waves at you. "Hiya!" he says, grinning. He's missing some - well, actually, *all* of his front teeth.
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > ask Patrol about Amanda
  The patrol collectively shrugs. "Sorry. We're just a buncha grunts. We don't know nuthin' about that."
  
  The Valley Patrol appears to be engaged in a belching contest. Ooh, that last one was a real prize-winner!
  
  > ask Patrol about the berries
  The patrol collectively shrugs. "Sorry. We're just a buncha grunts. We don't know nuthin' about that."
  
  The patrol leader tells a particularly foul joke about the Acme salesman and the King's Droll.
  
  > ask Patrol about King
  "The King? He's swell. As well you know."
  
  The Valley Patrol leader grins at you. He's missing at least four front teeth. "Hiya, chum."
  
  > ask Patrol about the retreat
  The patrol collectively shrugs. "Sorry. We're just a buncha grunts. We don't know nuthin' about that."
  
  softest patch of grass for his nap.