text: [Themes: Children's, Literary, Humor]
  
  > Look around
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door is closed. Just inside the front door is an open trapdoor.
  The Big Bad Wolf is here, doing his best to look mean and dangerous.
  
  > examine the trophies
  On one of the walls there are several animal heads mounted on wooden plaques. It's hard to tell given the appalling quality of the taxidermy job, but I'd swear that some of these heads were once human. No cuddly teddy bears, these three!
  
  > Go west
  I am in the bears' tiny kitchen, a cosy little room that could have come straight from the pages of Country Living. It's big on original features and totally lacking in "mod cons." A large dining table sits in the centre of the room and there is a dresser against the wall. Opposite the dresser is an enormous brick fireplace that seems to fill half the room.
  
  On the dining table are a large bowl (which is empty), a medium-sized bowl (which is empty) and a tiny little bowl of just-right porridge.
  
  > go to the north
  I'm in the pantry, a small claustrophobic room which smells faintly of cinammon, honey and the mouse droppings that are liberally sprinkled across the tiled floor. There is an upright freezer in the corner and some sturdy shelves stacked high with box after box of McScottie's porridge oats. The kitchen lies to the south.
  
  > examine the fireplace
  Must be where Mama bear cooks all her porridge. I don't know why she doesn't just get herself a microwave. The hearth is cold and full of ash.
  The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the east.
  
  > Inventory
  I am carrying:
  an old brass key
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a cue ball
  a rather thin blanket
  a bearskin rug (being worn)
  an antimacassar
  a packet of frozen pork chops
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a wedge of cheese
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)
  
  > put the note in the fireplace
  ...
  
  > put the trowel in the fireplace
  ...
  The Big Bad Wolf strolls out of the room to the north.
  
  > enter fireplace
  That's not something I can enter.
  The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the north.
  
  > go east
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door is closed. Just inside the front door is an open trapdoor.
  
  > Go east
  I can't go in that direction, but I can move north, west, up and down. The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the west.
  
  > sit in the medium chair
  Wow - this chair is soooo soft it's unbelievable! A little too soft! Lucky I'm so light or I'd sink right into it.
  
  > stand
  I get out of the medium-sized chair.
  
  From its floral carpet to its lovingly dusted knick-knacks, The Three Bears' sitting room is a chintzy abomination of taste, the sort of room that would make any sane bear want to go back and live in a cave. Three chairs are arranged around a small coffee table; a large chair, a medium-sized chair and a tiny little chair.
  The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the south.
  
  > sit in the medium chair
  The Big Bad Wolf has better things to do.
  
  > examine the large chair
  It's a huge overstuffed leather affair covered with leather buttons. It looks well worn, as though the person it belongs to has nothing better to do than sit on a horrible hard chair all day. As if it wasn't uncomfortable enough already, the chair is fitted with electrodes!
  
  One of the buttons on the arm looks slightly different from the others...
  
  > examine the electrodes
  I guess Papa Bear's a bit touchy about other people sitting in his chair! A cable attached to the electrodes disappears into the back of the chair. I think it must supply the power to those electrodes!
  'As much as I've enjoyed chewing the fat with you,' says the wolf, 'I'd rather be chewing on some crackling. Now where are those pigs?' 'Here, piggy piggy piggy!' says the wolf, wandering off to the south.
  
  > look at the button
  Whereas all the other buttons look like part of the upholstery, this one is bright red and has the word "activate" written on it!
  The Big Bad Wolf prowls into the room from the south.
  
  > tell Wolf about the windmill
  This provokes no reaction.
  The Big Bad Wolf strolls out of the room to the south.
  
  > go south
  I'm in the entrance hall of the Three Bears' house. Hung around the walls are portraits of various members of the Bear clan, along with some highly disturbing hunting trophies. A narrow staircase leads up to the bears' bedroom. The front door is closed. Just inside the front door is an open trapdoor.
  The Big Bad Wolf is here, doing his best to look mean and dangerous.
  
  > go upwards
  I'm in the Three Bears' bedroom, a small attic room with steeply sloping walls. They have the weirdest sleeping arrangements. There's a tiny little bed, a medium-sized bed and a full sized snooker table. A narrow staircase leads down to the hall.
  A tiny dormer window looks out onto the clearing.
  For some unaccountable reason, Sleeping Beauty is lying fast asleep on the tiny little bed.
  
  > open the window
  Do you want me to break a nail or something?
  
  > look at the window
  It affords a view of the clearing in front of the house. The window is painted shut and doesn't look as though it's been opened in years. There's a tiny point of light flitting about outside the window!
  
  > break the window
  I'm not sure that would be a good idea. I might frighten away that tiny point of light, whatever it is.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  I am carrying:
  a copy of 'Hail!' magazine
  an old brass key
  a pair of gardening gloves
  a cue ball
  a rather thin blanket
  a bearskin rug (being worn)
  an antimacassar
  a packet of frozen pork chops
  a mousetrap (which is open)
  a dead mouse
  a wedge of cheese
  a matchbox
  a spoon
  a gigantic bowl
  a crumpled note
  a small packet (which is open but empty)
  a trowel
  some sticks of dynamite
  a ratty old paintbrush
  a pair of secateurs
  an overripe pumpkin
  a broken bottle
  a wristwatch (being worn)
  a "distressed" Laura Ashley dress (being worn)