text: [Themes: golf, political, economy, barbarian, bird, casino, ogre, cow, fantasy]
  
  After the magical wall was erected around the kingdom, the cost of farm labor skyrocketed as workers from the enchanted forest and fairy prairie were no longer able to cross the border to find jobs. You and your mom were squeaking by until she became sick. Unable to afford insurance, you have had to sell off your assets one by one to keep the farm going.
  
  Now you are down to your final cow, good old Bessy.
  
  Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.
  
  Bessy the cow anxiously chews her last wad of cud.
  
  [Author's Note: Caught in an economic downturn, can Jack leverage his starving cow and climb the economic ladder?]
  
  > check your inventory
  You are empty-handed.
  
  > take the cow
  You pick up the cow.
  
  > examine the cow
  Thanks to years of malnutrition, the stunted cow is the size of a chihuahua.
  
  > Go west
  On the seedier side of town, the windows of the pawn shop are plastered with signs: Paychecks Cashed, BUY AND SELL GOLD, Top Price for Cows! Your farm is back to the east.
  
  Greasy and perpetually hung over, the proprietor of the pawnshop, Yagmar the Barbarian, stands behind a counter and brims with avarice.
  
  > look at Yagmar
  Seven foot four and 520 pounds. Obey.
  
  > Kiss yagmar
  How is that in the least bit a desirable thing to do?
  
  > talk to Yagmar
  "You got stuff to trade? Give it to me. Then I give you stuff. Then you leave. That's how it works."
  
  > give the cow to Yagmar
  Yagmar looks sideways at the pint-sized cow.
  
  "Kind of scrawny, but I'll take it. Let's see. Here, take one of these. Now scram."
  
  He hands you a somewhat shriveled but vaguely magical legume.
  
  > look at the bean
  The bean glows faintly. It is either magical or radioactive.
  
  > Plant bean
  When the bean touches the soil, it burrows in furiously, ejecting dirt in all directions. After a moment, the ground shakes and a massive beanstalk shoots upward.
  
  > examine the stalk
  The beanstalk towers over your farm and for that matter, the town as well.
  
  Down the road, you expect you'll be getting some angry letters from the homeowner's association.
  
  > Go upward
  You climb up the bean stalk, which goes on and on. Eventually, you push through the clouds and find yourself poking through a lawn.
  
  A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.
  
  Some immigrant geese wander the carefully tended lawn brazenly.
  
  There is a goose turd here.
  
  > examine the turd
  As goose droppings go, this is a fine one.
  
  > get the turd
  You pick up the goose turd.
  
  > go to the west
  A glitzy casino entirely covered in gold leaf and flashing neon. The game floor is just to the west.
  
  A doddering ogre, covered in cheddar powder and sporting a bad comb over, stands just outside the gilded doors of the casino.
  
  > talk to the ogre
  "Let me give you some advice, do you want some advice? Of course you do, you're saying, I wonder what advice he has to give me, and now I'm giving it to you, so you should listen because they say my advice is the best advice. I give the best advice, because when I am telling people things, about advice, they all say, he has the best advice. So, my advice is that you get those birds, those horrible, they're not ducks, you know. Ducks are patriotic. There are television shows about ducks, and I saw one last week, so this is not at all about ducks. Those birds are geese, and I have had it up to here, right here, with them. So, if you get rid of them, then maybe we can talk."
  
  > Go east
  A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.
  
  Some immigrant geese wander the carefully tended lawn brazenly.
  
  > take the geese
  The geese flutter about clearly avoiding you.
  
  > go to the east
  As there are no safety nets in the kingdom, you fall through the fluffy clouds and land right where you started: in the dirt.
  
  Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.
  
  A humongous green beanstalk with broad, leathery leaves reaches up through the clouds.
  
  > Go west
  On the seedier side of town, the windows of the pawn shop are plastered with signs: Paychecks Cashed, BUY AND SELL GOLD, Top Price for Cows! Your farm is back to the east.
  
  Greasy and perpetually hung over, the proprietor of the pawnshop, Yagmar the Barbarian, stands behind a counter and brims with avarice.
  
  > give the turd to Yagmar
  Yagmar squints at the ignoble lump of goose excrement on the counter and raises an eyebrow.
  
  "And what exactly am I supposed to do with *that*?" he inquires, pointing towards it with an accusatory index finger.
  
  "It's a souvenir from the casino," you say, trying to sound upbeat. "It's worth it's weight..."
  
  Before you can finish, the barbarian swipes the turd from his counter top and produces Bessy. "Whatever it is, it's guaranteed to be worth more than this viscious miniature cow of yours, which eats like a horse. Here. Take it and get out of here."
  
  > Go east
  Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.
  
  A humongous green beanstalk with broad, leathery leaves reaches up through the clouds.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a cow
  
  > Go upwards
  You climb up the bean stalk, which goes on and on. Eventually, you push through the clouds and find yourself poking through a lawn.
  
  A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.
  
  Some immigrant geese wander the carefully tended lawn brazenly.
  
  > drop the cow
  As the diminutive cow lands on her spindly legs, she emits a yappy "moo".
  
  Driven by the sort of blood lust that one rarely sees in cows, Bessy rips across the lawn after the geese. The geese erupt into flight and settle a short distance away on a cloud bank. From that safe harbor, they honk mockingly at Bessy, who stands at the very edge of the lawn vibrating with anger and yapping madly at them.
  
  > go to the west
  A glitzy casino entirely covered in gold leaf and flashing neon. The game floor is just to the west.
  
  A doddering ogre, covered in cheddar powder and sporting a bad comb over, stands just outside the gilded doors of the casino.
  
  > talk to the ogre
  "You did well on the goose job, very, very well," the ogre confides with a wink. "This might work out for you. It could be great. Tell you what, if you can show me that you can pull off the kind of deal that I would make myself, I'll not only let you into the casino, I'll hire you on the spot."
  
  > go west
  The ogre refuses to let you enter, but gives you some advice.
  
  "You did well on the goose job, very, very well," the ogre confides with a wink. "This might work out for you. It could be great. Tell you what, if you can show me that you can pull off the kind of deal that I would make myself, I'll not only let you into the casino, I'll hire you on the spot."
  
  > go to the east
  A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.
  
  Accustomed to starvation, the jittery cow stares unblinkingly into space.
  
  The non-indigenous fowl cluck and bristle with indignity from atop the neighboring clouds, while they keep a suspicious eye on your cow.
  
  > get the cow
  Now obsessed with her mortal enemies, the geese, Bessy snaps at you menacingly as you get near her. Since you value your hands, you let the murderous cow be. She growls at the birds, her rage barely contained.