text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  "Well I guess feeding the pigs is simple enough. I'll do that." You say.
  "Haw haw! YOU think so? Those pigs get pretty excited when hungry and when dem hogs start eatin' they ain't too particular! A full grown pig can eat an entire human body. Seen it happen lotsa times. Well you'll learn soon enough. I got some other work to do, so the food's over there in that wheel barrow and there's the hogs, I'll leave you to it."
  "Why the big ass wheel barrow of rotten vegetables? I figured I'd just needed to throw a bucket of slop in there."
  "Hey maybe at other farms they don't give no never mind to what and how they feed their hogs, but here we make sure our hogs get the best food possible, plus that "slop" you're referring to tends to mix in with the mud and shit. And while the pigs don't care, we're tryin' to get a higher quality diet for them so when we split 'em open we got some prime meat and not infected meat."
  
  Clem leaves and you go over to the humongous wheel barrow of pig food, which consists mainly of hot rotten vegetable matter that stinks really bad. You're having a hard time pushing the damn heavy thing, with you gagging ever five seconds from the smell. You eventually get to the pig pen, where the pigs instinctively start crowding near the fence where you're located. Clem wasn't joking; they're practically breaking the fence down to get to the food.
  
  You start throwing the rotten food in there, when all of a sudden a voice calls out to you.
  "You're doin' that wrong y'know. Want me to show you how?"
  
  You turn to see a young woman dressed in cut off jeans that might as well be a denim g string and a tied top that's barely keeping her tits in. This CAN'T be Bertha, this must be Suzy! Clem's daughter!
  
  Wow, it HAS been a long time since you seen her...
  
  > say you know what you're doing
  You know trouble when you see it, and this little underage tart is definitely trouble.
  
  "I know what the hell I'm doing." You shout, as you throw the food to the pigs. You didn't realize pigs could jump so high until one bites your finger in an attempt to get at the food.
  
  "OW SHIT!" you shout, and draw your hand away. Suzy instantly runs up to you.
  "See? I told you! Here let me look at that. You're bleeding."
  "I'm fine, I..." You stop talking as soon as Suzy begins kissing your hand.
  "Does this feel better? How about this?" Suzy then proceeds to suck slowly on your bleeding finger and look at you while doing it.
  "Uh...stop that! Jeez what the hell is wrong with you, I'm your fuckin' cousin!" you say withdrawing your hand from Suzy this time.
  "Sorry, would you like me to do that lower then?"
  "I'd like you to leave me the fuck alone! I ain't intendin' to make the bloodlines in this family to be anymore inbred than they already are! Don't you have something else to do?"
  "Not really. Ohhh Tattoos! You get these in the big city?" she says rubbing your arms.
  "Big city? You mean that shithole town I live in? Yeah."
  I wish I lived in the big city like you. That way I could do anything I wanted instead of being stuck here on this boring ol' farm."
  "Well why don't you just fuckin' leave?"
  "How? I don't have no money."
  "Oh I'm sure a girl like you could make tons of money in town, all you gotta do is get there."
  "Huh! Ma and Pa would never allow that! They want me to rot here!"
  "So, who says you gotta do what they say? Fuck, my Pappy used to beat me with a fuckin' ball peen hammer when I used act up an' I still did what the fuck I wanted anyway!"
  "Aw man that's so cool! Oh Cousin Mel will you take me back to your town?! It's so boring here! I wanna live where the action is!" Suzy begins grabbing your arm in excitement.
  
  Nice going big mouth.
  
  > drive her to town
  "Arrgh, alright since you probably won't leave me the fuck alone about it."
  "Oh thank you! Like I said I don't have any money, but I can repay you in other ways. Do you want to..."
  "NO! Just go get your stuff, I gotta figure out how we're gonna get out of here."
  
  While Suzy goes to get her belongings, you make your way back to the truck, and just your luck, you run into Clem.
  "Hey there Mel, where ya goin'?"
  "Oh hey, y'know I just don't think this is for me,"
  "Aw a little too much hard work for you city boy? Haw Haw!"
  "Well that and the smell."
  "Well I will give ya that. Sometimes the smell is too much for some folks. It's okay though, you're still my favorite cousin!" Clem slaps you on the back hard.
  "Erm, Thanks." You say and see Suzy trying to sneak behind her dad, she makes a motion that she's going to hide in the back of your truck, you try to keep Clem focused on you.
  "So hey, you're not mad at me are you?"
  "Me? Nah! Like I said you're still my favorite cousin! It might be just as well thought that you didn't work out. My wife Bertha as you know isn't too fond of ya ever since you told me that I shouldn't marry her."
  "Hey I was drunk remember?"
  "Oh I know, I know, but geez Mel, didja have ta call her a cow? I know it ain't apparent but my wife's sensitive about her weight! I told her it don't make no never mind to me, but you hurt her feelings that day and I don't think she ever forgave ya fer that."
  You see that Suzy has hidden herself as well as she can, you decide it would be a good time to leave.
  "Oh well, I guess I'll just have live with that fact then. See ya Clem."
  "See ya Mel, have a good un'!"
  
  You drive off as quickly as you can before anyone can figure out what's going on. Suzy suddenly shouts in your ear through the back window of your truck.
  "Yeah! No more pig farm! So where are we going cousin, back to your place?"
  "I'm going home, but you won't be following me!"
  "But, but you can't just abandon me!"
  "Stop fuckin' whinin'! I'm not abandoning I'm gonna drop you off somewhere where I think you'll fit in JUST fine...
  
  Later...
  
  Tina comes home, she doesn't look pleased.
  "Mel! What the fuck was the meanin' of dropping that little slutty cousin of yours at the strip club? They gave her MY spot!"
  "So? Aren't you always sayin' that they over work you there?"
  "Yeah, but..."
  "And aren't you always sayin' how we don't spend no more time together no more?"
  "Yeah, but..."
  "And since I don't have a job at all and you havin' to spend less time at the strip club now, don't you think we can spend all that extra time together like you wanted?"
  Tina looks at you for awhile, and then smiles.
  "Oh Mel that was so sweet of you!"
  "Yeah well I am the thoughtful one. Speakin' of sweet, bring your sweet ass over here, I haven't had a drink today so I'm gonna need a LOT of lovin' to make up for it."