text: "This is the last time I'm saying this Greg, immortality is not worth cutting off your cock. What's the point of being immortal if you're deprived of the best feeling in the world?"
  
  "Ey' maybe he's lacking in that area. No wonder he wants immortality if all he has to do his cut off an inch or two worth of pecker."
  
  Greg suddenly stands up, drawing your eyes to the bickering trio. They've been arguing random hypotheticals since you've gotten here. All you wanted was to get a quiet drink before meeting with Catia. As long as these buffoons are here, that's impossible.
  
  Even as Greg stands up he's shorter than the other two sitting. It's no wonder they pick on him, he looks pathetic.
  
  "Can you both just shut the fuck up? I mean, god damn. All I'm saying is living forever outweighs the downsides of not having a dick," he says in a whiny voice.
  
  The other two laugh uncontrollably at his pitiful attempt of defiance. One manages to calm down and spits out,
  
  "Maybe when it's smaller than a gnome's toothbrush, but for the rest us it's not so easy."
  
  Queue more uncontrollable laughter as Greg's face becomes redder than demon blood.
  
  "I'll shove a gnome's toothbrush up your ass if you say that one more time! C'mon, let's move on to another question."
  
  The trio quiets down and you zone them out. You take a swig of whisky and start to remember the reason while you're here. Oh yeah, the succubus. She wanted you to drink a bit before meeting her. You didn't necessarily jump at the idea of getting drunk before meeting with a demon, but she promised you she would make it worthwhile. You're pretty sure that means... 
  
  Your thoughts are interrupted by the thickheaded trio once again.
  
  "You're telling me you'd prefer your child be retarded and kind than ingenious and mean?"
  
  "Yes Connor, I would."
  
  "God damn it, Greg! You want to spend an eternity with no dick while taking care of a retarded child? Pathetic. I would kill myself after a week."
  
  "Har har har! I would kill myself in a week if I had to live Greg's life as it is. No, scratch that, a day!"
  
  "Fuck you Tom. I can't be the only one who thinks this... "
  
  Greg glances around nervously looking for a savior. Eventually he turns his gaze towards you and his eyes light up.
  
  "Hey you over there! What would you rather have, a dumb, but kind child; or a smart, but cruel child?" he says while pointing at you.
  
  You stare blankly ahead and breathe a deep sigh. This is beyond stupid. You briefly consider just ignoring him and getting the hell out of this place.
  
  "Why do you think that man would agree with you? He's a soldier. Surely, he recognizes the benefits a genius could provide for society. Especially when you consider the need for mages regarding the growing demon problem."
  
  Soldier? Shit you forgot to change out of your uniform. So much for staying inconspicuous. You can thank your lucky stars none of the other guards are here to see you in this shithole.
  
  "Now now, let the man speak. Just because he's a soldier doesn't mean he agrees with you," says Tom.
  
  "Fine, what do you think...and hurry up! We don't have all day."
  > say "I have no preference."
  "No preference? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" says Connor.
  
  "He must think he's not having any children. I guess he's into dudes." Replies Tom.
  
  "Yeah I think you're right. I swear I saw him eyeing Greg."
  
  You feel the bile rising in the back of your throat. They think you're attracted to that disgusting little worm? People usually don't get under you skin so much but this time it's different. You're about to fuck a hot demon bitch and the idea of being attracted to Greg is NOT what you need right now.
  
  "Do you really want to know why I don't give a fuck about your pointless hypothetical?"
  
  "Well, yeah."
  
  You take a deep breath and begin to describe your recent encounter with a succubus.
  
  "Well it all started when I fell asleep during guard duty".
  
  One convoluted story later.
  
   "And that's why I came to this tavern," you say with a cheeky grin.
  
  Your story gets mixed reactions.
  
  "You're not actually going through with this are you?" asks Tom.
  
  "Ok so you're attracted to some demon bitch. I still saw you eyeing Greg for at least the past hour."
  
  And strangest of all,
  
  "Wait aren't succubi immortal? And they don't have dicks! Well, at least I assume they don't".
  
  You don't engage with any of them and feel compelled to go home. Although, Tom's words are giving you second thoughts. Should you wait a few days before even thinking about seeing the succubus?
  > stay and think it over
  The trio starts arguing but you quickly interrupt them.
  
  "Hey wait! Why shouldn't I go through with this?"
  
  Everyone turns towards you as if confused to why you're still here. Tom let's out a long sigh and asks the question that has been on everyone's mind.
  
  "Are you sure any of that was even real?"
  
  You scrunch your eyebrows and consider the possibility. No, it can't be fake. The rush of it all was too great for it to be a hallucination. It was either real or nothing is real.
  
  "Yeah your dumbass was probably just hallucinating from the cold," Connor jeers.
  
  That can't be it. You know it was real, although they couldn't possibly understand. They weren't there.
  
  "If I had to guess, I'd say a good Samaritan helped you when they saw you passed out. You might have mistaken their torch for that of a demon," Says Tom.
  
  "Yeah and they probably told you to go to the tavern to warmup. That's what these two did when they first found me," says Greg.
  
  For the love of god! Now even Greg is gaslighting you. Enough of this nonsense. You can either leave right now or waste your night away here.
  > leave RIGHT NOW
  The trio begins arguing again. Something about how demon immortality is different than regular immortality. You don't time to dwell on it and make your way home. You find yourself grinning the whole walk back. This isn't just a happy drunk feeling. You feel like this is your purpose. It's time to see Catia.
  
  You find yourself exiting out of the slums and into the residential part of the city. Most guards sleep in the barracks, however, since your parents never returned from their trip their house is all yours. If they ever return, you hope they don't mind you bringing a demon inside the house. Although, they were always bugging you about finding a girlfriend, this might not be what they had in mind. 
  
  You arrive at your parent's old home and twist the doorknob. The wooden door squeaks loudly as you open it. 
  
  "Some things never change," you whisper to yourself.
  
  You immediately start making yourself more presentable. You change out of your soldiers' uniform and put on a loose-fitting black tunic. You probably should take a bath but you're too excited to see Catia that you forget to. Do demons mind odor? 
  
  "Catia."
  
  A dark cloud appears in your room, dispelling a toxic fume. You start violently coughing as you vision blurs indiscriminately. Your eyes shut close and you feel you grip on reality slipping away from you.
  
  "Ah shit," you whisper before passing out.
  
  Your eyes jitter open and you're greeted by Catia stroking your face. Her palm flushes the coolness off your face. Beads of sweat drip furiously down your neck as she continues caressing you.
  
  "Couldn't wait a single day before seeing me again? How cute."
  
  She crawls onto your bed and moves closer to you. Her aura is all consuming and you feel your free will being drained away. Yet, the whole process is extremely pleasing to you. She moves her mouth to your ear and whispers,
  
  "Do you want to see everything I have to offer?"
  
  You bite your tongue to avoid instinctively shouting yes. This may be your last chance to not go through with this. At the very least, it would give you chance to ask her a few more questions.