text: > Look around
  You are in Cornelia Hogg's sumptuous private observation car. The room is dim now with the shades drawn, and the floor is covered in vivid chartreuse carpeting. A door to the south leads to freedom, once you're finished here.
  
  Beatrice bustles in and out of the room constantly, keeping everything tidy and giving you frequent sidelong glances.
  
  Hogg's pet parrot Horus is clinging to his perch, his box of crackers nearby.
  
  Cornelia Hogg is poring over her papers, mumbling and making minor adjustments.
  
  The Viscount has been pretending to read the same magazine page for the last thirty minutes.
  
  An up-and-coming socialite enters the room and stands in awe of Ms. Hogg's presence. After trying to engage you all in small talk, the visitor leaves.
  
  > take the cracker
  Taken.
  
  There is a murmur of voices in the outside corridor, but it subsides.
  
  > give the cracker to the parrot
  Horus gobbles the cracker greedily, swallows, and lets out a happy belch.
  
  The server stalks in, carrying his tray of drinks. He stands, slouched, staring at the floor, waiting for someone to grab a beverage. You can see quite a few drinks on the tray. Cornelia smacks her lips, glancing at the tray of drinks but not stopping her work or concentration.
  
  > take the water
  You grab the glass of water from the server's tray. He grunts in acknowledgment and continues to stare at the floor.
  
  > give the water to Viscount
  The Viscount shakes his head. "Thanks for asking, but no thank you."
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > take the pet groomer
  You take off the maintenance uniform and put it in the suitcase, then pull out the pet groomer costume. The clothing is simple, and the attitude is one of youth and enthusiasm.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  [Renewed topic for Cornelia Hogg - Introductions]
  
  [Renewed topic for Beatrice - Greetings]
  
  [Renewed topic for the Viscount - Familiar]
  
  > Topics
  [Topics with an asterisk (*) have already been discussed.]
  
  Things to say to Beatrice:
  Greetings - A small bow towards the attendant.
  Things to say to the parrot:
  *Rhetoric - "Speech! Speech!"
  Music - "Sing for me?"
  *Dance - "Dance, Horus!"
  *Performance - "Horus, will you perform for me?"
  Reject - "No crackers for you, dear."
  *Snack - "Would you like a cracker?"
  *Hello - "Hello, pretty boy!"
  Things to say to Cornelia Hogg:
  Introductions - "Good afternoon, Ms. Hogg."
  Things to say to the Viscount:
  Familiar - "You seem familiar, sir. Have we met?"
  
  You can see just the topics for one person at a time by TALKing TO that person.
  
  > examine the costume
  (the pet groomer costume)
  It is pitch dark, and you can't see a thing.
  
  The train exits the tunnel, and sunlight filters weakly through the shades.
  
  The Viscount turns and looks at your new disguise, then goes back to his magazine. He seems to be the only one who's noticed.
  
  > examine the costume
  (the pet groomer costume)
  This is technically a zoo-keeper outfit. It's the smell that makes all the difference.
  
  > look at the kit
  This is a small, transparent plastic pouch.
  
  In the grooming kit are some tweezers, an emery board, and a toy mouse.
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > take the kit
  Hogg glares at you. "That's for Horus!" she declaims. "You're not his groomer!"
  
  > groom the parrot
  Horus already looks pretty good, but you can file his talons.
  
  > File talons
  You have nothing to file with.
  
  You hear the whistle blow.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a glass of water
  a glass of soda
  a suitcase, closed, containing a maintenance uniform, a professor costume, a black and white feather, a banker costume, and a waiter costume
  
  An up-and-coming socialite enters the room and stands in awe of Ms. Hogg's presence. After trying to engage you all in small talk, the visitor leaves.
  
  > open suitcase
  You take a quick peek inside the suitcase.
  
  This suitcase contains a number of ingenious costumes. You can change costumes by typing WEAR [the costume you want] when everyone is distracted.
  
  In the suitcase are a maintenance uniform, a professor costume, a black and white feather, a banker costume, and a waiter costume.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  > examine the neck
  The Viscount has an unusually smooth neck.
  
  The server stalks in, carrying his tray of drinks. He stands, slouched, staring at the floor, waiting for someone to grab a beverage. You can see quite a few drinks on the tray. Cornelia smacks her lips, glancing at the tray of drinks but not stopping her work or concentration.
  
  > Go east
  You're not going anywhere until you get that gem!
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > wear the waiter
  You open the suitcase a crack.
  
  (first taking the waiter costume)
  You take off the pet groomer costume and put it in the suitcase, then pull out the waiter costume. Shirt, pants, and apron all go on quickly. You slightly compress yourself and mute your expressions. Inconspicuity emanates from you.
  
  You are currently disguised with the waiter costume.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  [Renewed topic for Cornelia Hogg - Introductions]
  
  [Renewed topic for Beatrice - Greetings]
  
  [Renewed topic for the Viscount - Familiar]
  
  > wait
  You bide your time.
  
  The train exits the tunnel, and sunlight filters weakly through the shades.
  
  The Viscount turns and looks at your new disguise, then goes back to his magazine. He seems to be the only one who's noticed.
  
  > take the vodka
  You grab the glass of vodka from the server's tray. He grunts in acknowledgment and continues to stare at the floor.
  
  > talk to Viscount
  To speak with the Viscount, choose a topic from below and SAY [the topic] TO THE VISCOUNT.
  
  Things to say to the Viscount:
  Familiar
  
  > say familiar
  "You seem familiar, sir. Have we met?" you ask.
  
  He looks you over and turns away. "No."
  
  Beatrice hurries over. "Pardon me, Viscount. Is this servant bothering you?" she asks, glaring at you.
  
  You hold up your hands in protest. "No, no, sorry. I just thought I had met him before. I'm well-known among the staff for my encyclopedic knowledge of famous faces. I know by heart the visages of the great, the noble, the beautiful, and the wise."
  
  Beatrice looks at the Viscount with interest. "Well, do you know him?"
  
  You make a show of peering closer. "Sorry, no. My mistake."
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > examine the vodka
  A strong drink. This is strong enough to strip paint off!
  
  > pour the vodka on the beard
  The Viscount jumps to his feet, spluttering and gasping, but the spirit gum dissolves in the vodka and the beard falls to the floor. "Oh my, I do apologize," you say, "How clumsy of me!"
  
  "You wretch!" he hisses. There's murder in his eyes.
  
  Beatrice says, "What in the world are you two doing?" She marches closer, snatching up the beard, but Cornelia Hogg, without looking, says, "Beatrice! Don't be such a busybody." Beatrice stops, fuming.
  
  The server makes an appearance, grabs the glass, and exits.
  
  The Viscount is distressed, and crams himself into the darkest corner of his seat.
  
  You hear the whistle blow.
  
  > talk to Beatrice
  To speak with Beatrice, choose a topic from below and SAY [the topic] TO BEATRICE.
  
  Things to say to Beatrice:
  Greetings
  
  > Greetings
  You make a small bow towards Beatrice.
  
  "Get me a soda," she says. "Plain."
  
  > give the soda to Beatrice
  "Your drink, ma'am," you say.
  
  "Finally," she says. She chugs the whole drink at once. The attendant steps out for a moment to grab more soda before returning.
  
  Ms. Hogg says, "Beatrice, that's crass. Drink it slowly!" Beatrice rolls her eyes.
  
  > say the introductions
  "Good afternoon, Ms. Hogg."
  
  Beatrice is scandalized. "You do not address Ms. Hogg! Remember your place! And no spills!"
  
  Hogg glares at Beatrice, and says, "Beatrice, remember your own place!"
  
  There is a murmur of voices in the outside corridor, but it subsides.
  
  The server stalks in, carrying his tray of drinks. He stands, slouched, staring at the floor, waiting for someone to grab a beverage. You can see quite a few drinks on the tray. Cornelia smacks her lips, glancing at the tray of drinks but not stopping her work or concentration.
  
  He looks your waiter costume up and down. He doesn't say anything, but his expression is clear. "Another mixup by the coordinator," it says. "Well, it's not my fault." His expression returns to its usual stoic silence.
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > wear the maintenance
  You open the suitcase a crack.
  
  (first taking the maintenance uniform)
  You take off the waiter costume and put it in the suitcase, then pull out the maintenance uniform. The jumpsuit is an easy fit. You adopt an attitude of confidence in yourself and indifference to those around you.
  
  You are currently disguised with the maintenance uniform.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  [Renewed topic for Cornelia Hogg - Introductions]
  
  [Renewed topic for the Viscount - Familiar]
  
  > Skip
  You wait for the train to leave the tunnel.
  
  The train exits the tunnel, and sunlight filters weakly through the shades.
  
  The Viscount turns and looks at your new disguise, then goes back to his magazine. He seems to be the only one who's noticed.
  
  > look at Viscount
  The Viscount is a perennial passenger in Hogg's observation car, although he never seems to speak. He is wearing a wide hat. You could recognize him from his pungent odor alone, though.
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > examine the hat
  The Viscount's wide-brimmed hat is huge and messy, like a mouse's nest. Perfect for obfuscation.
  
  You hear the whistle blow.
  
  > take the hat
  The Viscount slaps your hand away as soon as you start tugging.
  
  There is a murmur of voices in the outside corridor, but it subsides.
  
  > look at the magazine
  Vogue. This week's.
  
  [New topic for the Viscount - Fashion]
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a glass of water
  a suitcase, closed, containing a waiter costume, a pet groomer costume, a professor costume, a black and white feather, and a banker costume
  
  > Skip
  You wait for a tunnel to darken the car.
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > wear the banker
  You open the suitcase a crack.
  
  (first taking the banker costume)
  You take off the maintenance uniform and put it in the suitcase, then pull out the banker costume. You tug on the suit in record time. You straighten your spine, put on a sardonic smile, and nudge every hair into place.
  
  You can hear Cornelia Hogg sniffing.
  
  "What is that pleasant odor?" she mutters.
  
  Good. At least your smell won't disturb Ms. Hogg when you try to take the Rose.
  
  You are currently disguised with the banker costume.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  [Renewed topic for Cornelia Hogg - Introductions]
  
  [Renewed topic for Beatrice - Greetings]
  
  [Renewed topic for the Viscount - Familiar]
  
  You can hear the server stomping into the room, carrying a tray of drinks, although you cannot see him.
  
  The train exits the tunnel, and sunlight filters weakly through the shades.
  
  The Viscount turns and looks at your new disguise, then goes back to his magazine. He seems to be the only one who's noticed.
  
  > say the introductions
  "Good afternoon, Ms. Hogg."
  
  She looks at you with admiration. "And a good afternoon to you, sir. Please, make yourself comfortable. It's always a pleasure to see a representative of our financial industries aboard." She takes a deep sniff, which you find fairly unsettling.
  
  "Of course. As for me, whenever I think about the great problems of labor and wealth distribution in America, your face is the first to come to mind. It is an honor, Madame."
  
  > say the fashion
  "Anything interesting in fashion this season?"
  
  "What?" asks the Viscount.
  
  You point at the magazine. "You seem interested. What sort of things are fashionable this year? One must keep up with these things, you know, however tedious it may be."
  
  The Viscount scowls at you, touching his bare neck. "Scarves were the trending fashion this year".
  
  > say familiar
  "You seem familiar, sir. Have we met?" you ask.
  
  The Viscount sighs and buries his face in the magazine. "No, I don't believe so."
  
  "Do you have interest in the world of finance? We could use people with a strong work ethic and integrity," you ask.
  
  "I am of independent means, sir," answers the Viscount haughtily.
  
  "Well," you say, "we might still be able to use someone with just integrity. Let me know!"
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > say hello
  You've already discussed this with parrot.
  
  [You can REMEMBER or RECALL a topic to remind yourself about previous conversations.]
  
  You hear the whistle blow.
  
  > Topics
  [Topics with an asterisk (*) have already been discussed.]
  
  Things to say to Beatrice:
  Greetings - A small bow towards the attendant.
  Things to say to the parrot:
  *Rhetoric - "Speech! Speech!"
  Music - "Sing for me?"
  *Dance - "Dance, Horus!"
  *Performance - "Horus, will you perform for me?"
  Reject - "No crackers for you, dear."
  *Snack - "Would you like a cracker?"
  *Hello - "Hello, pretty boy!"
  Things to say to Cornelia Hogg:
  *Introductions - "Good afternoon, Ms. Hogg."
  Things to say to the Viscount:
  *Fashion - "Anything interesting in fashion this season?"
  *Familiar - "You seem familiar, sir. Have we met?"
  
  You can see just the topics for one person at a time by TALKing TO that person.
  
  > say the greetings
  You make a tiny bow towards the attendant.
  
  She approaches you eagerly. "I didn't see you come in, M--"
  
  "No matter, no matter, my dear. My employers are quite interested in speaking with Ms. Hogg." You look her up and down. "Would you say that you are a typical representative of the quality of Ms. Hogg's entourage?"
  
  "Yes, I would say that's quite right," she answers, blushing and squaring her shoulders.
  
  "Well, I suppose we all make do," you say. "Carry on."
  
  > look at Hogg
  Cornelia Hogg is a weathered, wiry old woman with a sharp gleam in her eye. Her attention is entirely devoted to the papers she is reviewing while occasionally clucking her tongue. Hogg is dressed in a perfectly-tailored pin-striped pantsuit. Her brow is perpetually furrowed, and she has a thick head of silver hair.
  
  The Gavinchian Rose, the object of your desire, is prominently displayed on her lapel. A pet grooming kit lies on her lap.
  
  > examine papers
  The papers are covered in dense tables of numbers and figures.
  
  > read the papers
  The papers are covered in dense tables of numbers and figures.
  
  An official-looking woman enters with a document for Hogg to sign. Hogg scrawls on the line without looking up and the woman leaves.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You are carrying:
  a glass of water
  a suitcase, closed, containing a maintenance uniform, a waiter costume, a pet groomer costume, a professor costume, and a black and white feather
  
  The server stalks in, carrying his tray of drinks. He stands, slouched, staring at the floor, waiting for someone to grab a beverage. You can see quite a few drinks on the tray. Cornelia smacks her lips, glancing at the tray of drinks but not stopping her work or concentration.
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > wear the waiter
  You open the suitcase a crack.
  
  (first taking the waiter costume)
  You take off the banker costume and put it in the suitcase, then pull out the waiter costume. Shirt, pants, and apron all go on quickly. You slightly compress yourself and mute your expressions. Inconspicuity emanates from you.
  
  You are currently disguised with the waiter costume.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  > Skip
  You wait for the train to leave the tunnel.
  
  The train exits the tunnel, and sunlight filters weakly through the shades.
  
  The Viscount turns and looks at your new disguise, then goes back to his magazine. He seems to be the only one who's noticed.
  
  > take the grape
  You grab the glass of grape juice from the server's tray. He grunts in acknowledgment and continues to stare at the floor.
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > pour the grape on the hat
  You pour a tiny drop of liquid on the wide hat. The Viscount doesn't notice you, but nothing interesting happens, either.
  
  > pour the grape on papers
  You very gently spill one drop of the glass of grape juice on the papers. Nothing interesting happens.
  
  > throw the grape at the hat
  Futile.
  
  > throw the grape at the papers
  Futile.
  
  An up-and-coming socialite enters the room and stands in awe of Ms. Hogg's presence. After trying to engage you all in small talk, the visitor leaves.
  
  > throw the grape at Hogg
  Tempting, but no.
  
  You hear the whistle blow.
  
  > pour the grape on the parrot
  You dangle the glass of grape juice over Horus's head, cackling internally. Horus pecks at your hand, and you spill a bit on yourself. You retreat.
  
  The server stalks in, carrying his tray of drinks. He stands, slouched, staring at the floor, waiting for someone to grab a beverage. You can see quite a few drinks on the tray. Cornelia smacks her lips, glancing at the tray of drinks but not stopping her work or concentration.
  
  He looks at your costume again, shaking his head slightly.
  
  > give the grape to the parrot
  Horus takes a quick peck at the juice.
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > wear groomer
  You open the suitcase a crack.
  
  (first taking the pet groomer costume)
  You take off the waiter costume and put it in the suitcase, then pull out the pet groomer costume. The clothing is simple, and the attitude is one of youth and enthusiasm.
  
  You are currently disguised with the pet groomer costume.
  
  You close the suitcase.
  
  [Renewed topic for Cornelia Hogg - Introductions]
  
  [Renewed topic for Beatrice - Greetings]
  
  [Renewed topic for the Viscount - Familiar]
  
  > say the greetings
  You make a small bow towards the attendant. She looks your way but wrinkles her nose and turns back.
  
  > say the introductions
  "Good afternoon, Ms. Hogg."
  
  Without looking up, she says, "Ah, finally. Give Horus a good filing, and be quick about it. I hope you're qualified. Horus is a bit of a beast."
  
  She grabs a grooming kit from her lap, which she tosses on the floor.
  
  "No problem, ma'am. I'm quite used to the company of unpleasant old birds. I'll get started right away!"
  
  > take the kit
  Taken.
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > File talons
  You have nothing to file with.
  
  There is a murmur of voices in the outside corridor, but it subsides.
  
  > Examine kit
  This is a small, transparent plastic pouch.
  
  In the grooming kit are some tweezers, an emery board, and a toy mouse.
  
  > open the kit
  You open the grooming kit.
  
  > take the emery
  Taken.
  
  The train passes under a tunnel, plunging the room into darkness.
  
  It is now pitch dark in here!
  
  > Skip
  You wait for the train to leave the tunnel.
  
  The train exits the tunnel, and sunlight filters weakly through the shades.
  
  An up-and-coming socialite enters the room and stands in awe of Ms. Hogg's presence. After trying to engage you all in small talk, the visitor leaves.
  
  You can hear the server stomping into the room, carrying a tray of drinks, although you cannot see him.
  
  > File talons
  "If I may, your majesty," you say to Horus. You file the talons of Horus with panache. Horus squawks contentedly.
  
  > show the mouse to Beatrice
  (first taking the toy mouse)
  You grab the mouse. Horus perks up. "The enemy! Send me forth to destroy the foul creature!"
  
  The toy mouse pays no heed to Beatrice.
  
  [New topic for the parrot - Destroy]
  
  > say destroy
  Horus leaps to the toy mouse and savages it before flying to his roost and dropping the mouse to the ground.
  
  The server stomps out of the room.
  
  > take mouse
  You grab the mouse. Horus seems eager to play again.
  
  [Renewed topic for the parrot - Destroy]
  
  > put the mouse on the hat
  You sidle up behind the Viscount and place the mouse on his hat before gliding away.
  
  You hear the whistle blow.
  
  > say destroy
  Horus leaps into the air and descends on the Viscount with a screech.
  
  The Viscount ducks, but Horus snags the mouse (and the hat) with his claws. He attacks until both are in shreds while the Viscount cries, "Off! Off!"
  
  Beatrice shouts, "Horus! Get away from there!"
  
  Hogg says, "Now, now, Beatrice, Horus needs his bit of fun. You don't need to carry on."
  
  Beatrice sighs and gathers up the mouse and shreds of hat, giving the Viscount a strange look as she does so.
  
  Now that you can see him more clearly, you recognize the so-called Viscount. It appears Beatrice recognizes the figure before you as well.
  
  "Good heavens, it's Elizabeth Russell, the jewel thief! And what's worse," she shouts, "She was wearing a costume." Hogg looks
  up, aghast, and Horus screeches. "Villain! Thief! Forger!" Beatrice advances menacingly.
  
  Elizabeth starts to her feet. "Yes, I am Elizabeth Russell. And never have I been treated so poorly in my life! Attacked by this foul bird, covered in cheap spirits, almost overcome by heat, and especially pestered by this man!" she says, pointing at you. "When I steal from my marks, I expect luxury and comfort. Well, there's no luxury or comfort here!" she shouts before running out of the room to the south, slamming the door behind her.
  
  There is a clang from the outer door opening, followed by a thud and rolling sound that quickly grows distant.
  
  Beatrice huffs, saying, "And I specifically said that disguises are prohibited. The cheek!"
  
  An official-looking woman enters with a document for Hogg to sign. Hogg scrawls on the line without looking up and the woman leaves.