text: > Go downwards
  You're walking along a well-travelled forest path that winds through the peaceful woods. Birds chirp and sing above you, and the temperature is brisk but pleasant. Like many of the children of the Valley, you played in these woods as a child, scampering through the woods, looking for animal tracks, and climbing trees. The path bends here, running south and northeast. The trees also thin out to the west, and the land slopes up in that direction. There's a radberry bush here, but it's been picked clean.
  
  You see a single brick here.
  
  > look at the paper
  It appears to be a receipt of some kind. There's writing on it.
  
  The Valley Patrol marches up from the south.
  
  > read it
  "Acme Dam Phoul Snayk Rhepellant - One can: 3 valmids."
  
  A few members of the Valley Patrol lie down on the ground and start snoring.
  
  > go to the northeast
  You're just outside a quaint wooden building nestled deep in the forest. The road runs north and southwest here - the forest is much too thick to travel in any other direction. The inn door stands open to the east. Sunshine glints from freshly-scrubbed window panes. A sign hangs above the door, waving gently in the breeze.
  
  > go east
  You're standing in the main room of the Golden Dragon Inn. The room
  is warm and welcoming after the brisk fall breezes, though the place is mostly deserted. The barkeep is nowhere to be found, and there's no one seated at the bar. Still, the floor, bar, and tables look clean, and it's good to get out of the cold. The exit is to the west, and a narrow passage runs northeast.
  
  The only customer is a glum little man sitting alone at a table. He looks like one of those damned Acme salesmen the King's been trying to throw out of the Valley. [5]
  
  > give the can to Salesman
  The salesman turns white. "You're not returning it, are you?" He grabs the can, points the nozzle at his face, and sprays. "*Cough!* Seems to work okay. Surely you don't - " He breaks off, seeing the look on your face. "You do, don't you? You want your money back." Suddenly, the salesman's face lights up. "Ah! But I can't give you your money without a receipt! Do you have one?"
  
  > give receipt to Salesman
  The ACME salesman swallows. "No. I mean - " He swallows again, then grabs the receipt with a trembling hand. "All right!" he shrieks, burying his head in his hands. "You win! Here!" He reaches in his pocket and tosses you a coin, which you catch. "Now go away!"
  
  > look at the coin
  Which coin do you mean, the bronze coin, or the yellow coin?
  
  > examine the bronze
  Which bronze do you mean, the bronze ring, or the bronze coin?
  
  > examine the bronze coin
  The bronze coin is a valmid, an image of the current monarch on one side and the Hall of the Valley King on the other. It's quite solid currency, good for trade in Unnkulia and beyond.
  
  > examine the yellow Coin
  The yellow coin is rather soft and pliable, like a sponge. Carved on one side are the words "Ihn Cheez Oui Truhst - Value 3 acmids." On the other side are the words "Acme Dam Tastee Cheez Coin - Experimental!
  Do not let out of prototype lab!" [10]
  
  > Note 10
  [10]: "I think I do believe in eternal punishment." - Lord Dunsany. (Thanks to David Librik for pointing out some unintentional plagiarism from a fine play!)
  
  > eat the yellow Coin
  It tastes rather like motor oil mixed with fermented milk, quite gross. I suppose everything should be tried once, but I wouldn't eat another on a bet.
  
  > go west
  You're standing on the eastern shore of Lake Draounheer. Across the sparkling blue waters, you can see the snow-covered caps of the Beeg'ashell Mountains, deep in the heart of evil Unnkulia. But here, on this side of the lake, you could truly find peace. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and reeds bend gracefully in the brisk fall breezes. To the east, a path leads back into the forest. North of here, the land slopes up sharply, and the path continues. You could also go southwest, along the shore of the lake - further along, the grassy lakeshore turns into a sandy beach.
  
  > go to the south-west
  The lakeshore here becomes a stretch of white sand, glaring in the
  fall sunshine. Further south, the land becomes rocky and too difficult to travel; a bit further on, the tip of the awesome Dawg Rock is visible. [9]  You can hear the thunderous crash of water to the south as the lake empties through the Rock. The lake stretches before you to the west. The only way to go appears to be back along the shore to the northeast.
  
  You see a rowboat here.
  
  > give the cheez to Patrol
  "Hmph," the leader snorts. "Got no use fer that. Whatchoo tryin' to do, bribe the Patrol?"
  
  softest patch of grass for his nap.
  
  > give the berries to Patrol
  "Hmph," the leader snorts. "Got no use fer that. Whatchoo tryin' to do, bribe the Patrol?"
  
  "Well, we'd better be moving along," the Valley Patrol leader says.
  He yawns and stretches. "Only twenty more minutes on this break, fellas."
  
  > give the valmid to Patrol
  "Hmph," the leader snorts. "Got no use fer that. Whatchoo tryin' to do, bribe the Patrol?"
  
  The patrol leader tells a particularly foul joke about the Acme salesman and the King's Droll.
  
  A sudden attack of vertigo makes you dizzy. Your stomach churns and your legs wobble. Spots roll in front of your eyes and you pitch forward, over the cliff. Thankfully, the water below breaks your fall. Sadly, you don't know how to swim (glug, glug).
  
  > Go west
  Standing so close to the clifftop makes you dizzy. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. [7]
  
  You're standing at the top of a rocky cliff, overlooking Lake Draounheer to the west. It's rather frightening, for you suffer from extreme vertigo - in fact, you're feeling a little shaky. [7]  To the east, a path runs downhill back into the forest, and another path leading south slopes down to the lake. You could follow the cliff northeast as well; the land slopes up in that direction, but at least it's further away from the edge of the cliff. Across the lake are the sinister Beegas'hell Mountains, the heart of the Unnkulian menace that no doubt your liege shall soon deal with.
  
  > Inventory
  You have a bronze ring (being worn), a sword, an oar, a pair of erasers, a wine bottle, a soft pretzel, a small leather pouch, a spade, a trowel, a handful of radberries, and a yellow coin.
  
  The Valley Patrol walks up from the east.
  
  A sudden attack of vertigo makes you dizzy. Your stomach churns and your legs wobble. Spots roll in front of your eyes and you pitch forward, over the cliff. Thankfully, the water below breaks your fall. Sadly, you don't know how to swim (glug, glug).
  
  > plug the hole
  What do you want to plug it in?
  
  > eat the pretzel
  That was delicious!
  
  > Note 9
  [9]: If you're trying to visualize the terrain, "Unnkulian Unventure II" takes place to the south of here - of course, the events of that game occur quite a few years in the future. And it should be obvious that the forest, retreat, inn, and iron grate were all in "Unnkulian Underworld." (See the map in the documentation booklet.)
  
  > examine Rock
  You have a feeling you've been to Dawg Rock before, perhaps in a previous (or future?)  life.