text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  That's the spirit! I knew you had it in you!
  
  Okay so you're feeling uncharacteristically motivated today, that's a start, but where exactly you're going to begin is another question.
  
  Getting a job might be the way to go, but you have no idea what you might be qualified for. You could go to a family member for help or your old friend the internet as usual.
  
  > ask your Dad
  Well Dad used to work a lot at one time, so much so that he was never around, most would say he still isn't due to him being drunk all the time, and you'd pretty much agree.
  
  You find Dad in the living room half passed out. You almost think to come back when he's in a better state, but then you remember this is probably about as sober as he gets.
  
  "Hey Dad I need to ask you something."
  
  Dad looks at you in a drunken daze.
  "What tha hell? (Hic!) Whadda you want?"
  "Well uh...I just wanted some advice on how to get a job."
  "Job? (Hic!) What for? Workin' man's a sucker. I worked and worked to support all you bastards and what did it get me? Nuthin! Just a dead wife and sorrow. None of you appreciated her the way I did!"
  "Hey, that's not true. We all missed her. As I recall you weren't even at the funeral."
  "Because the pain was too great, that's why! And what exactly are you (Hic!) implyin? That I didn't love her? Cause I did! Hell, I loved her enough to produce you and your worthless sib (Hic!) lings!"
  "Uh...okay." You say and start to back away.
  "HEY! Don't you walk away while I'm talking to you!"
  
  At this point your Dad manages to get up to lurch at you, but only succeeds in tripping over his feet and banging his head on the coffee table.
  
  "Argh! Shit. Fuck...(sob) Why? Why did you leave me? I was gonna...come back...just...just wasn't enough time...(sob)..."
  
  You Dad lies on the floor clutching his head and sobbing quietly. He is truly a pitiful sight.
  
  Dad's anger at you is probably misguided and while it's true he wasn't really there for you, it doesn't mean you have to do the same. So you try to console him.
  
  "Erm...there there. I'm sure Mom knew how you felt even if you weren't around to help raise five kids..."
  "(sniff) You think so?"
  "Sure, she often mentioned you a lot while you were gone."
  "Oh really? What would she say?"
  
  You try to think back to anything positive, but come up empty. You just say non-committal.
  
  "Oh...just stuff about wishing you were here..."
  "Y'know, Suzy I REALLY do wish I could've been here more. It's just always thought I'd have time to spend all the time in the world with her after I retired. If I could just have that time back, I would do everything I wanted to do with her."
  
  Sensing that it might ease his pain you tell him stories about Mom. You try to just focus on the good times you spent with her, rather than all the arguing that usually went on with her and your more unruly siblings.
  
  This seems to cheer him up. He's also sobered up a little while listening to you.
  
  "You really did take after her the most didn't you?" he states.
  "Um, yeah I suppose I did." You reply.
  
  Your Dad begins to look around as if to make sure nobody else is around and then looks at you intently.
  
  "I have something of your mother's. I think she'd want you to have. It's in the bedroom, follow me." He whispers and gets up.
  
  > follow him to the bedroom
  This is a little strange, but you have no reason to think that your Dad is going to do anything weird to you. Maybe it's just a piece of jewelry or something. I mean you're his daughter for Christ's sake.
  
  Sure he might've been an absentee father and he's a drunk, but do you really think he'd be so overcome with grief that he'd actually be trying to lure you into the bedroom so that in his twisted mind he could have sex with Mom again?
  
  "What exactly is it that you want to show me?" you ask.
  "Come with me, it's in the bedroom." He beckons.
  "Can't you bring it out here?"
  "Suzy, it's very special. In fact I question on whether I should give it to you, not because you don't deserve it, but because if your other sisters catch wind of it, they might get jealous. So when I give it to you, you can't tell anyone. It'll have to be our secret."
  
  I'll give you another chance to reconsider if you're not entirely sure of his intentions.
  
  > Nah, if he was going to molest you, you would've wrote it in already
  You follow your Dad to the bedroom. When you walk inside it's a little unnerving. There's no lighting except candlelight.
  
  Candles are lit up near a dresser with a mirror and all over the walls are pictures of Mom.
  
  You Dad goes to the dresser and pulls out a fancy looking ring. It's the one your Mom wore, you remember unashamedly arguing over who should get it, when she died. It is a very nice ring, but you certainly weren't going to dishonor Mom by ripping it from her corpse. Ultimately your Dad hung on to it, just like he did with most of Mom's old belongings.
  
  "Here Suzy, I've held on to my pain long enough. You take this ring."
  
  You take the ring and stare at it for awhile.
  
  "Are you sure?"
  "Yeah, I'm sure. You're the one. Try it on just for kicks."
  
  At first you think it won't fit, but apparently you and Mom are about the same size. You like it, but you just can't let your sisters see it. Hell, maybe you shouldn't let Peter see it either.
  
  As you marvel at the ring, your Dad is picking up the urn with your Mom's ashes. Before you can ask him what he's doing he opens it and throws the ashes in your face!
  
  You try to stagger out of the bedroom choking and coughing while trying to get "Mom" out of your eyes, but Dad grabs you and throws you on the bed.
  
  "COME BACK TO ME BERTHA!" he shouts while locking the door.
  "Mom's dead! Stop this right now you crazy fuck!" you exclaim rolling off the bed.
  "I'm sorry it has to be this way Suzy, but your mother needs a suitable body to return, and you're perfect in everyway. Just think, you'll be the one to bring her back to me!"
  
  > grab a candle and try to set him on fire
  Snatching a candle nearby you throw it at him and miss spectacularly. You do however succeed in setting some nearby clothes on fire.
  
  "Bertha you will be mine again!" your Dad yells and lunges, pinning you to the floor. "Quick take her body! Enter her! ENTER!"
  
  While Dad is screaming his delusional statements, the fire in the room begins to spread.
  
  "Dad, get off of me, we're both going to die!" you plead, but it's no use. He's still insisting on holding you down so that your mother's "spirit" will enter inside you.
  
  That doesn't happen of course, what does happen instead is the pair of you burning to death in the fire.