text: [Themes: Satire, Fantasy]
  
  > Look around
  You're standing in a damp, cluttered cave. Twisting, tiny tunnels
  run off in all directions, but (thankfully) the only one you're big enough to fit through is back to the south. You've obviously stumbled into the legendary mines of the Dwarvish Lord Dioria, a brave but rather odious king who used to sell gems and gold to the ancient Ulians - you can recognize clumsy dwarvish mining when you see it.
  Thankfully, all the legends suggest that the dwarves are long-dead. Jumbled rocks litter the floor, and it's rather hard to walk around.
  
  You see a rusty knife here.
  
  > get the knife
  You reach for the rusty knife, but, like all dwarf-made goods, it vanishes in a puff of oily black smoke when a human touches it.
  
  > look at the rocks
  The rocks are just cave litter, nothing too interesting. A dwarf rolls out of one of the passages, and tosses a shiny knife at you. You're ready this time, and dodge his throw. The knife just misses your ear, and lands on the ground with a curious thump. "Phooey!" the dwarf cries, and dives into one of the tiny tunnels.
  
  > examine the knife
  The knife's blade appears to be made from a particularly shiny sort of rubber. Tiny letters on the handle read "Acme Slysor-Dysor Ghinzoo Nyfe." [20]
  
  > Note 20
  [20]: Apologies to those guys that make the real ones.
  
  > wait for a while
  Time passes...
  A dwarf pokes his head out of a tunnel in the ceiling and tosses a pillow at you. It hits you square in the face, and falls to the ground. You're shaken up, but still standing. "Humbug!" the dwarf squeals. You hear him scampering away up the tunnel.
  
  > examine the pillow
  The pillow is about as hard as a brick. Tiny letters on one side read "Acme Soopur-Sopht Downee Pillough."
  
  > wait
  Time passes...
  A low voice whispers, "Haven't we got anything else to throw at him?"
  
  > wait awhile
  Time passes...
  "No! Not that!" a gruff voice whispers. "It's far too valuable!"
  
  > wait
  Time passes...
  Without warning, a dwarf pops up from a tunnel in the floor. He's carrying a pickaxe, which he swings at your head. You duck and leap back, surprised. With a stream of nasty curses, the dwarf hurls the pickaxe at you and dives back into the tunnel.
  
  > Go south
  You're standing in a rough-hewn cave at the top of a long-forgotten mine shaft. A thick vein of gold ore runs diagonally across the east wall, glowing in the pale green lamplight. A narrow squeeze runs west, but you're not going to get through there if you're carrying a lot. To the south, the deep mine shaft runs down. Mudslides and rockfalls have taken their toll, and the shaft is slippery and cluttered, but still negotiable. Still, I doubt if you could climb back up. A wider, straight passage runs north.
  
  > hit the vein with the pickaxe
  The pickaxe bites deep into the vein. A loose chunk of gold goes flying, and lands at your feet.
  
  > get the gold
  Taken.
  
  You're feeling a bit better now.
  
  > PUT PICKAXE, GOLD, KNIFE, AND PILLOW IN POCKET
  pickaxe: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  lump of gold: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  shiny knife: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  pillow: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  > go west
  You're carrying too much to fit through the passage.
  
  > DROP PILLOW, PICKAXE, AND KNIFE
  pillow: Dropped.
  pickaxe: Dropped.
  shiny knife: Dropped.
  
  > look at what you're carrying with you
  You have a robe (being worn) and a lump of gold.
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see an oar, a brown book, a spade, and a trowel here.
  
  > examine pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a brass lamp (providing light), a bronze ring (being worn), a thin wand, a pair of erasers, a handful of radberries, a jade figurine, a black stone, a sword, a long rope, and a wine bottle.
  
  > DROP FIGURINE, STONE, ROPE
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  long rope: Dropped.
  
  > go east
  You squeeze through the narrow tunnel, and find yourself -
  
  You're standing in a rough-hewn cave at the top of a long-forgotten mine shaft. A thick vein of gold ore runs diagonally across the east wall, glowing in the pale green lamplight. A narrow squeeze runs west, but you're not going to get through there if you're carrying a lot. To the south, the deep mine shaft runs down. Mudslides and rockfalls have taken their toll, and the shaft is slippery and cluttered, but still negotiable. Still, I doubt if you could climb back up. A wider, straight passage runs north.
  
  You see a pillow, a pickaxe, a shiny knife, and a lump of gold here.
  
  > PUT PILLOW, GOLD, KNIFE, PICKAXE IN POCKET
  pillow: Done.
  lump of gold: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  shiny knife: Done.
  pickaxe: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see an oar, a brown book, a spade, a trowel, a jade figurine, a black stone, and a long rope here.
  
  > DROP WINE, PILLOW, KNIFE
  wine bottle: Dropped.
  pillow: Dropped.
  shiny knife: Dropped.
  
  > Go east
  You squeeze through the narrow tunnel, and find yourself -
  
  You're standing in a rough-hewn cave at the top of a long-forgotten mine shaft. A thick vein of gold ore runs diagonally across the east wall, glowing in the pale green lamplight. A narrow squeeze runs west, but you're not going to get through there if you're carrying a lot. To the south, the deep mine shaft runs down. Mudslides and rockfalls have taken their toll, and the shaft is slippery and cluttered, but still negotiable. Still, I doubt if you could climb back up. A wider, straight passage runs north.
  
  You see a pickaxe and a lump of gold here.
  
  > Pickaxe in pocket
  lump of gold: Done.
  pickaxe: You can't fit that in the pocket.
  
  > Go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see an oar, a brown book, a spade, a trowel, a jade figurine, a black stone, a long rope, a wine bottle, a pillow, and a shiny knife here.
  
  > check your inventory
  You have a robe (being worn).
  
  > go west
  You're standing in the whitewashed gazebo in the mystical cavern.
  It's quite peaceful here; the moss-covered cavern floor outside muffles most sounds. Faint flowery smells reach your nostrils, and you feel quite relaxed. Truly, there is an almost magical tranquillity here. High above you, you can see the steeple bell.
  
  You can only go back to the east from here.
  
  You see a trampoline here.
  
  > get all
  oar: Taken.
  brown book: Taken.
  spade: Taken.
  trowel: Taken.
  jade figurine: Taken.
  black stone: Taken.
  long rope: Taken.
  wine bottle: Taken.
  pillow: Taken.
  shiny knife: Taken.
  
  > examine the coffin
  The coffin is quite large. A figure of a bearded and armored warrior, eyes closed and hands folded across his chest, is carved on the lid. Words are carved on the side - you recognize the language as early Ulian, a quite difficult and arcane tongue. Luckily, you have an Ulian to Valley Tongue dictionary. The words read "Here lies Ul - Beloved Poppa of All Ulians."
  
  > drop all but the robe
  oar: Dropped.
  brown book: Dropped.
  spade: Dropped.
  trowel: Dropped.
  jade figurine: Dropped.
  black stone: Dropped.
  long rope: Dropped.
  wine bottle: Dropped.
  shiny knife: Dropped.
  pillow: Dropped.
  
  > go east
  You squeeze through the narrow tunnel, and find yourself -
  
  You're standing in a rough-hewn cave at the top of a long-forgotten mine shaft. A thick vein of gold ore runs diagonally across the east wall, glowing in the pale green lamplight. A narrow squeeze runs west, but you're not going to get through there if you're carrying a lot. To the south, the deep mine shaft runs down. Mudslides and rockfalls have taken their toll, and the shaft is slippery and cluttered, but still negotiable. Still, I doubt if you could climb back up. A wider, straight passage runs north.
  
  You see a pickaxe here.
  
  > go south
  You slip and slide down the mine shaft, and find yourself in -
  
  You're standing in a filthy cave hewn from the bedrock. The walls
  are covered with claw marks, and there's a foul, damp odor to the air. A narrow passage leads southwest, and a muddy slide runs up to the north. Dung litters the floor; you really have to watch where you're stepping. You recognize the offal - dragon dung!
  
  You see a dragon's egg here.
  
  > go up
  There's no way you're going to climb the muddy slide; it's far too steep.
  
  > look at the egg
  The dragon's egg is quite large, with a fairly thick shell. Still, such eggs are rumored to be mighty good eatin'. [21]
  
  > Note 21
  [21]: This egg business does seem to be a recurring theme in these games, doesn't it?
  
  > examine the dung
  It's rather repulsive. You don't want to examine it too closely.
  
  > go southwest
  There's a clumsy, nearsighted baby dragon here. It appears to think that you're its mother - it runs up and leaps into your arms. Unfortunately, it weighs about a half-ton -
  
  > Go south
  You're standing in a vast, mystical cavern. Stalactites shimmer in
  the pale green lamplight, and brightly-colored beds of moss catch your eye. Pale glowing mists swirl at your feet. Shadows seem to leap from dark crevices in the corner, and breezes, some cold, some hot, nip at your cheeks. Magic seems to flow from the very rocks, tingling your toes.
  
  Tunnels run north and south, and a narrow crawl climbs up to the
  east. At the west end of the cavern is a freshly whitewashed gazebo.
  
  You see an oar, a brown book, a spade, a trowel, a jade figurine, a black stone, a long rope, a wine bottle, a shiny knife, and a pillow here.
  
  > open the box
  You open the small box for only a moment. Inside is a soggy off-yellow powder. You catch a whiff of what must be petroleum products before quickly closing the box. I'd leave it shut if I were you - that stuff's toxic.
  
  > examine the ledge
  It looks like an ordinary ledge to me.
  
  > examine Dragon
  The baby dragon is not exactly small - it probably weighs more than you do. But it is quite cute. As you watch, it trips over its own feet and goes flying in a great tangle of claws and tail. [16]
  
  > Wave wand
  "Idiot!" a voice thunders. "The dragon puzzle is triviality personified! Waste no more of my time!"
  
  > Hi
  The smith doesn't seem to hear you. He's too busy at the grindstone.
  
  > examine the stone
  The massive grindstone spins when then pedal beneath it is pushed. The stone's used for sharpening metal implements.
  
  > follow you
  The smith shrugs, then stands. "For a while, perhaps. But soon I must return and sharpen my axe."
  
  The ghostly smith wipes the crucible with his shirtsleeve.
  
  > Go northeast
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west is a great iron door, covered in sinister carvings.
  It's closed. Passages run north and southwest as well.
  
  The smith follows you, looking around curiously.
  
  > go northwest
  You're standing just northwest of a dark cave, somewhere in the Beeg'ashell Mountains. Inside the cave entrance, you can just make out a set of stone stairs sloping down, back into the heart of the mountains. Rough patches of crabgrass struggle for life here and there, poking through cracks in the rocky mountain soil. A trail climbs up to the west, while another slopes down to the north. A third, level trail leads due south. It's quite cold here, and a chill wind whips across the rocky hills. The cave entrance is back to the southeast.
  
  The smith follows you, looking around curiously.
  
  > Go south
  You're standing on top of a low, rocky rise somewhere in the Beeg'ashell Mountains. Not far south of here is the land of the Unnkulians, the dread enemies of your beloved master, the Valley King. In fact, you can make out several features from here, further south - Lake Draounheer's western shore, to the southeast; the walls of what appear to be some sort of monastery; and, on top of the highest of the mountains, a giant boulder, perched quite precariously. Unfortunately (or perhaps thankfully) the terrain is far too rugged for you to get there from here. The only safe path is to the north. There's a spreading chestnut tree in the very center of the clearing.
  
  The smith wanders down the trail into the clearing. His eyes fall
  upon the spreading chestnut tree. "Aha!" he cries. "Just what I need to fuel my forge!" He swings his axe in one mighty stroke. The tree splits in two and falls to the ground, just missing you, and dislodging a great eagle that probably made its nest in the highest branches. The giant bird squawks once and wings its way north.
  
  over his shoulder. "Be seeing you!" he shouts, and walks back up the trail to the north. [21]
  
  > Note 21
  [21]: The smith, a mighty man is he, with strong and sinewy hands.