text: [Themes: Humor, Fantasy, Puzzle]
  
  > look around
  This is the floor of the stock market, and it's full of animals. There's hooting and honking and barking and mooing. I'm getting hungry just looking at their pen. From here, I can go south to the bank or southwest to Big Street.
  
  An auctioneer is here, although he's not auctioneering at the moment.
  
  I can also see a stock ticker, a coffer (which is closed), and an auction block here.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |
  
  Two pigs huddle together, shivering nervously.
  
  > look at panel
  Inside the panel is an array of wossnames and receptacles: a black receptacle containing a brown wossname, a brown receptacle containing a black wossname, a red receptacle containing a red wossname, an orange receptacle containing an orange wossname, a yellow receptacle containing a yellow wossname, and a green receptacle containing a green wossname.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |
  
  > look
  This is the floor of the stock market, and it's full of animals. There's hooting and honking and barking and mooing. I'm getting hungry just looking at their pen. From here, I can go south to the bank or southwest to Big Street.
  
  An auctioneer is here, although he's not auctioneering at the moment.
  
  I can also see a stock ticker, a coffer (which is closed), and an auction block here.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |
  
  > examine the ticker
  The ticker's an upright brass tube. There's a glass bubble on top that's glowing intermittently. The ticker has a red and a yellow button on it, and there's also a panel on the back.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |
  
  > look at panel
  Inside the panel is an array of wossnames and receptacles: a black receptacle containing a brown wossname, a brown receptacle containing a black wossname, a red receptacle containing a red wossname, an orange receptacle containing an orange wossname, a yellow receptacle containing a yellow wossname, and a green receptacle containing a green wossname.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |
  
  > press the red
  Which do you mean, the large red button, the red wossname, or the red receptacle?
  
  > press the red button
  Click! The stock ticker churns and spews out a section of tape:
  
  BACDFEGHJIKLNMOPRQSTVUWXZY1243568790+- /1/2/4/3/5/6/8/7/9/10/12/11/13/14/16/15/17/18*/19,.?/!
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |
  
  > ask the auctioneer about the ticker
  "Quork quork quork!"
  
  "What's that, my friend? You want to buy some stock? Well, any person or bird with money is welcome to join my auction."
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |
  
  > ask the auctioneer abouthe day-trdaing
  "Quork quork quork?"
  
  "What's that, my friend? You want to buy some stock? Well, any person or bird with money is welcome to join my auction."
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |
  
  > ask the auctioneer abouthe day-trading
  "Awk awk caw?"
  
  "What's that, my friend? You want to buy some stock? Well, any person or bird with money is welcome to join my auction."
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |  KHT +5/4  |
  
  > press the red button
  Click! The stock ticker churns and spews out a section of tape:
  
  BACDFEGHJIKLNMOPRQSTVUWXZY1243568790+- /1/2/4/3/5/6/8/7/9/10/12/11/13/14/16/15/17/18*/19,.?/!
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  KHT +5/4  |  SPJ -21  |  GWL -4/16  |  EPM +17  |  BHP -19  |
  
  > connect the orange wossname to the yellow receptacle
  Connected.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |    P 6P6  |    P 6P6  |   P  6P6  |  PP  6P/10  |    P 6PP  |
  
  > connect the yellow wossname to the orange receptacle
  Connected.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  HHP 6XX  |   HP 6X/2  |   HP 6X6  |   PH 6X6  |  PPH 6X/10  |
  
  > connect the black wossname to the red receptacle
  Connected.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  TPH 02/14  |  LHT 6X2  |  DLP 62/6  |   HP 026  |  DPH 620  |
  
  > connect the brown wossname to the black receptacle
  Connected.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  DPH 73-  |  UPH 03/14  |  MHT 7X3  |  EMP 72/6  |  AHQ 037  |
  
  > connect red wossnamethe brown receptacleacle
  Connected.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  CHS +37  |  DPH 93-  |  UPJ +5/14  |  MHT 9Z3  |  GOR 94/8  |
  
  > give the certificate to auctioneer
  "Well, let's see how your stock is doing,", says the auctioneer, picking up the ticker tape. "Wow, your stock has gone up considerably. Herring's been down for months; I guess it was time. I suppose the Fish Festival in Aderbean is going to be big this year. Well, I don't have enough cash on me to cover you, obviously, so this sovereign bond will have to do. Here you go." He hands it to me.
  
  The stock ticker tape advances:
  |  GOR 94/8  |  CHS +37  |  DPH 93-  |  UPJ +5/14  |  MHT 9Z3  |
  
  > show bond to Mel
  "Look, Mel! You can own one three thousand one hundred eighty-fifth of the country!"
  
  "Which entitles me to one three thousand one hundred eighty-fifth of the treasury?"
  
  "Yeah, exac--- no, no. I know why you're giving me that look. But think about it. If we keep the boss from getting killed, no one will ever know how much is in the treasury. Who cares what's
  really there? Everybody in the kingdom believes that bond is worth mega moolah."
  
  "...Fair enough." Mel takes out a ledger from underneath the counter and carefully makes a note in it. "All right, that's certainly worth another ingredient."
  
  > Inventory
  In my bag of holding, I have:
  a fish
  a vellum page
  a faery coin
  some farming tools
  a fishing rod
  a bottle of clear fluid
  a torn page
  a spell book
  a magic wand
  the mind of a foolish wizard
  
  > buy the ingredients
  Which do you mean, the Midas potion, the unicorn fur, the sapphire whiskey, the phoenix kidney, the ivory runestone, the daffodil blood, the refined starmetal, or the wizard ash?
  
  > buy all the ingredients
  Midas potion: "Mel, can I have the ingredients for the Midas potion?"
  
  "Sure, if you give me the money for them."
  unicorn fur: "Okay, W.D. Be careful. That's the only one I have in stock." Mel hands me the unicorn fur and makes a note in his ledger. sapphire whiskey: "Okay, W.D. Be careful. That's the only one I have in stock." Mel hands me the sapphire whiskey and makes a note in his ledger.
  phoenix kidney: "Okay, W.D. Be careful. That's the only one I have in stock." Mel hands me the phoenix kidney and makes a note in his ledger.
  ivory runestone: "Here you go, W.D. Good luck." Mel hands me the ivory runestone and makes a note in his ledger.
  daffodil blood: "Okay, W.D. Be careful. That's the only one I have in stock." Mel hands me the daffodil blood and makes a note in his ledger.
  refined starmetal: "Here you go, W.D. Good luck." Mel hands me the refined starmetal and makes a note in his ledger.
  wizard ash: "All right, W.D., here you go." Mel hands me the wizard ash and makes a note in his ledger.