text: [Themes: horror, horror, villain protagonist, romance, humor]
  
  "SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR GODDAMN SCREAMING YOU BITCH! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!" you yell at the woman strapped to the table.
  
  Normally you don't mind the screaming, indeed it can even bring a smile to your face, but right now you're trying to write a love poem to your sister and it's very difficult to focus when someone's screaming for help. You have no idea why either, it should be painfully obvious to her by now that nobody's going to come in to play white knight.
  
  "Alright I can't take this anymore. Some people are so inconsiderate!" you say taking your scalpel and turning on your camcorder on the tripod. "Subject number: 483, proceeding to dissect vocal cords."
  
  With a couple of quick flicks of your wrist and cuts with your scalpel and it's done. No more screaming. As you sew her throat back up, you giggle a bit since your patient looks a little funny attempting to scream, but nothing coming out. You remember back in the old days you didn't have such skill and you resorted to cutting out their tongues. Very messy! But medical school paid off eventually. Sometimes you can forgive ol' Mom for pushing you into becoming a doctor, when she wasn't beating you with a ballpeen hammer that is.
  
  Now back to the matter at hand, your love poem to your beautiful sister. Your anniversary is coming up and Hallmark just doesn't make cards for this occasion. Ah, just thinking about her gives you a big pink boner. You begin to grab yourself in a naughty way.
  
  Fuck! There's the doorbell! It's probably those fucking Mormons again!
  
  > answer the door naked with a human vagina on your face!
  Well whoever it is you got something that'll make them think about ringing the doorbell again! You take off all your clothes and grab your rusty chainsaw. You answer the door to a cute little girl scout. Due to your outlandish appearance she doesn't even have time scream before you take your rusty chainsaw and chop her head clean off causing the neck to spurt blood like a geyser. You take the vagina off your face and begin to do the "Mexican Hat Dance" around the body (that's surprisingly still standing) as the blood squirts all over you.
  
  You my friend are one sick fuck!
  
  > drink the blood to give you power!
  You begin to drink the blood like a water fountain, just then the mail man sees you, and he immediately pulls out a gun from his mail bag!
  
  "Hold it right there you crazy motherfucker!"
  
  You don't even bat an eye, you just whistle, at which point your two pit bulls, Lucifer and Damien come running out from around the house and attack the mailman before he even gets a shot off. The dogs proceed to rip open his stomach and run off with part of his intestines, as the mail man gasps for help; you grab the axe by your front door and cut off each limb as the life flows out of his body.
  
  While this is all good fun for you, you suddenly remember you're supposed to be writing your love poem to your sister.
  
  > wallow in your sick violent endeavors
  You drag the corpses of the mailman and Girl Scout into the house and put some clothes on. You play with the bodies for a bit, putting them in obscene poses, when you kind of realize you REALLY should be writing that poem for sis. Then you get a cunning plan!
  
  You take the mailman's remaining entrails and begin to decorate the front room with them like crepe paper! You then rip a bone out of his rib cage and dip it into the blood and begin to write poetry on a blank wall of your house. Oh won't she be so thrilled to see the effort you put into showing how much you love her!
  
  "Hmmm, what rhymes with decapitate?" you think.
  
  Suddenly you hear some noise coming from the kitchen. Damn! It's that teenage girl you captured along side the road, you thought you had her firmly tied in the attic, and you thought cutting her tendons would prevent any escape attempts. As she's trying to crawl out the back door, you grab a mallet and smash it into her spine, shattering it! She howls in pain, at which point you take a fillet knife and begin to skin her alive, finally after about a half hour of this you get tired of her screaming and take a mallet and smash her so hard in the back of the skull that the mallet goes straight through where upon her brains come oozing out. Hmmmmm tasty!
  
  Well you wasted a bunch of time and never finished your poem. Your sister just pulled up in the drive way and you've got bodies in the hallway, a body in the kitchen, entrails on the walls and blood all over the place.
  
  She's not going to be pleased about this mess you've made.
  
  How do you want to handle this?
  
  > try to make up an excuse
  You quickly wash your hands and try to think up an excuse, but there just simply isn't time, when sis comes in, you just come off sounding like your retarded cousin Billy.
  
  "Um...hey sis, I uh...did you see the poem I wrote on the wall? I know it's not finished, but uh..."
  
  Your stuttering excuses are not well received.
  
  "Goddammit! Y'know I don't expect much from you, but it's our fucking anniversary today and you can't do ONE nice thing for me? What the fuck, you leave bodies in the hallway for me to clean up and blood all over the fucking place? And what's dinner doing on the fucking kitchen floor? I told you a hundred times USE THE FUCKING TABLE! Christ, we're not fucking animals!"
  "But baby, she almost escaped, I had to..."
  "I don't want to hear it! I've had a hard day, but do you care? No, you all you think about is yourself! Shit, you're like a fucking child sometimes! I'm going to sleep. And I mean SLEEP! You come sniffing for a little something in the bedroom tonight and you'll have to use a strap on in order to fuck me in the future!" and with that warning she storms upstairs and you hear a door slam.
  
  Ouch. You really screwed the pooch on this one. Better stay out of her way for a little while. You quietly return to the basement and find that your patient has died. Apparently, you didn't sew that incision up as good as you thought and while she was still attempting to move her throat to scream, she split the stitches and bled out. Wonderful, now you'll have to get another live subject. Still, no sense in wasting a perfectly good body.
  
  You fuck the corpse, but it just isn't the same as fucking your sister, she's so much livelier. After you finish up, you decide to go get that live subject. You spend the rest of the night driving around in your car attempting to pick up a hooker. Strangely the streets are devoid of them tonight. Typical, Never a hooker around when you need one. Finally you strike lucky and one comes up to your car.
  
  "You lonely honey? I bet I can put a smile on your face." she asks.
  "I bet you can. I bet you can..." You say with a sinister smile.