text: [Themes: modern]
  
  Might as well start the day off with a good liquid breakfast! You go to the fridge and don't see any form of alcoholic beverage.
  
  "Where the fuck is the beer?!"
  "Your alcoholic ass drank all of it last night! Drink the goddamn milk instead!"
  
  You grumble and begin to drink the milk and promptly puke it up in the sink when it comes out in gray clumps.
  
  "FUCK! No fuckin' beer, expired milk, don't you ever go shopping?"
  "You're not fuckin' crippled, why don't you go do it!?" Tina says walking into the kitchen.
  
  "Because I'M too busy looking for a fuckin' job all the time that's why!" you say and then shove your tongue in her mouth.
  "EWWWWWW! Your breath stinks like rotten milk! At least brush your teeth before doing that! God you're a fucking dick!"
  "Oh you know you like it!" you say grabbing her ass. Tina leaves your hand there, but it doesn't stop her from yelling at you some more.
  
  "You better be getting a job today! I'm sick of being the only one who works in this trailer, while YOU stay up all night and sleep all damn day!"
  "Since when is shaking your tits and ass while strangers throw money at you work?"
  "Fuck you! MY stripping pays the bills! You better start pulling your weight around here, I'm serious!"
  "Yeah, yeah." you say.
  
  > go to your friend's trailer
  You leave the trailer, there ain't no way you're gonna listen to her bitch at you, but you'll be damned if you're going to get a real job! You decide to go over to your "friend" Dan's trailer. Maybe he's got some scam going on that you can get in on, make some money, and get Tina off your ass for awhile.
  You knock on the door, and Dan almost opens it immediately. He's obviously high already, he's still got white powder on his nose.
  "Oh hey Mel! What's going on? You want some toot? Want some snoot? Want some speed? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?" he rattles off while hitting you in the shoulder.
  "Shut the fuck up!" you say slapping him. "Shit Dan, you're fuckin' hopeless. Anyway, Tina's bitchin' at me to get a job an' seeing as I don't want to do any real work, I was wondering if you got anything going on, but I can see that you're in no condition to do anything."
  "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me Mel? Hell I feel like I can do fifty things right now! I was just gonna go down to Big Jim's and try to rip him off, you could come help me do that!"
  "Dan, you're gonna get your brains blown out like thatt, you better cancel that plan. Even I'm not gonna try to rip off a crazy, heavily armed, pissed off Vietnam vet."
  "Well maybe we could try a different place, but I was thinking..."
  "You were? Will wonders ever fuckin' cease? Well spit it out!"
  "Well you know ol' Sam runs his meth lab from his trailer right?"
  "I guess you'd know better than I would, bein' the junkie an' all."
  "Well he says he needs some help keeping his more excitable customers in line."
  "What the fuck kind of drug dealer is he? Shouldn't he just have shot anyone giving him problems?"
  "No, no, no! Sam's a peaceful guy, he doesn't really want any trouble, he's only in the drug game because he doesn't want a real job either, but he has a hard time dealing with the less glamorous lifestyle of the drug game."
  "There's a glamorous side? He lives in a fuckin' trailer park like the rest of us. The guy's not fuckin' Tony Montana!"
  "Well anyway, he said he needed some help with crowd control, so we could go do that."
  "Hmmm, I think what you mean is I'LL help with crowd control and YOU'LL be ripping him off while he isn't looking." You say cutting through the bullshit.
  "Well yeah, something like that."
  
  > go rob someplace
  "Nah, I don't feel like keeping a bunch of crackheads in line."
  "Okay so let's go to the liquor store and rob the place." Dan says.
  "Goddammit Dan, if you were any dumber, you'd have to wear a fuckin' helmet, you tryin' to get caught? We ain't leaving fuckin' town dipshit, so don't you think it would be better if robbed a place with nobody around to possibly identify us?"
  "Damn Mel, I never thought of that!"
  "No shit."
  "Well okay then let's start breaking into these trailers."
  
  Dan hasn't quite got the idea of this yet.
  
  "I meant a fucking HOUSE, fucktard!"
  "That's an even better idea!"
  "Yeah, it looks like I'm coming up with all of them."
  
  At this point you're wondering if you should even bother taking Dan with you.
  
  > take Dan with you
  Well he could still come in handy as a look out you figure.
  "Alright, I'm gonna go get a few things, and then we can go figure out what house we should break into."
  "Actually I got an idea about that! There's this house over on Apache Drive that's empty right now, and has lots of stuff in it."
  "Really? Well that certainly makes things a lot easier with a specific target in mind. Why the fuck didn't you mention it in the first place?"
  "Um, um, uh, I dunno. I just thought about it just now."
  "Idiot." You say shaking your head.
  
  You go and grab your pistol, a bag, and your Leatherman tool set and get ready for your criminal endeavor. You and Dan drive to Apache Drive where Dan points out the house. It certainly doesn't look like much, but you'll soon know what lies inside. Dan suggests going around back, and you follow him, where he mentions the back door has a simple lock. You easily pick it and get inside.
  
  You start looking around, but Dan directs you to go upstairs. Dan seems to know an awful lot about this place.
  
  "Alright Dan, whose place is this?"
  "Huh?"
  "You know too much about this place, you knew where it was at, nobody was home, and the entire lay out. You obviously have been here before. So whose is it?"
  "Um, this guy I know."
  "What guy Dan?"
  "This guy that sells crack to me sometimes...wait don't get mad!"
  "Dan, we're fucking ripping off a drug dealer's house? Oh fuck, you really got us in the shit this time! FUCK!"
  "No its okay! I mean nobody's here!"
  "Yeah and why is that exactly?"
  "He doesn't do his business here, he does it else where, but he has parties here every now and then, so that's how come I know where everything's at. Mel, he's got a lot of money stashed here, we'll hit the jackpot!"
  
  Dan's ambition is bigger than his brain. Drug dealers who get ripped off and then find out about it have a tendency to get mighty upset about it.
  
  > continue to rob the place
  Well no sense in backing out now, if you're gonna do something incredibly stupid, might as well do it all the way. You and Dan head upstairs.
  
  "Alright Dan, where the hell does he keep his money?"
  "In his bedroom, in a safe."
  "What the hell Dan, do I look like a fuckin' safe cracker? How are we supposed to get the damn thing open?"
  "Its cool man! I know the combination!"
  
  You and Dan enter the room and Dan immediately goes over to a closet and starts to open a safe that lies inside of it. You look out the window and take the opportunity to ask another question.
  
  "Dan if you knew all this shit already, why the hell didn't you just do this, yourself?"
  "I dunno, I always felt like I might need someone else around, just in case something went wrong."
  "Yeah, like the fuckin' dealer coming home! I just saw someone pull up in a fuckin' van!"
  "Aaagh! That's him! We gotta get the hell outta here!" Dan says and starts grabbing all the money and throwing it in the bag.
  "Shhh! Calm the fuck down! I hear the door opening."
  "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! I knew this was a bad idea!" Dan continues to whine.
  "Yeah, you really screwed the pooch on this one." you add, trying to figure out what to do next.
  
  > go out the window
  You quickly open the window and prepare to make a hasty getaway, you look down, you're on the second floor and while it's not exactly a death drop, you could still fuck yourself up, if you land wrong. You prepare to leap out the window, especially when you hear some foot steps coming up the stairs. You jump and land on your feet and feel that nerve pain shooting through them that's usually associated with landing hard.
  
  "AH shit!" you say, trying to stifle your voice. As you start running away to your truck, you hear a crash behind you. You turn to see Dan, who's landed all wrong! His moaning is then followed by a yelling coming from the upstairs window.
  
  "MOTHERFUCKER! You try to rip me off eh? I got you now bitch!" a figure says and runs from the window presumably to get his gun and finish off Dan.
  
  Well there's only one thing to do. You immediately run back to the house and go through the back door which is still open, you see the dealer reaching for his front door with a shotgun in hand and you open fire!
  
  Three shots to his back. He never knew what hit him. He slumps lifelessly to the ground.
  You immediately run back out to Dan, pick his ass up and get in the truck and drive off.
  
  "Mel, you fuckin' saved my life!"
  "I fuckin' saved MY life! If I hadn't gone back for you and killed the dealer, he'd probably woulda came after me next! Plus I wouldn't have gotten all that money we stole."
  "He's fuckin' dead? Aw shit!"
  "Relax! There wasn't anyone around, and even if there was, ain't nobody gonna say shit. Besides, you think the sheriff gives a fuck about a dead drug dealer? We'll be fine."
  "No it's not that, he was the cheapest crack dealer I knew! Now I gotta buy my crack from someone else at a higher price!"
  You just shake your head.
  
  You divide the money up at your place, taking most of it since you DID save Dan's life. Dan leaves with his lot to go get suitably wasted. You do too, by ordering a keg to be delivered straight to the trailer. Tina comes home to see you indulging in one of your favorite past times.
  
  "Well I see you made something today. How'd you manage to make enough money to get a keg delivered here?"
  "(Hic!) Never (Hic!) ask me 'bout my (Hic!) business Tina." You reply.