text: > Look around
  The UCLA Computer Science student lounge is a hacker's paradise: a line of Linux machines and X terminals runs parallel to the south and west wall, ending in a Windows machine and an old Macintosh (for contrarians) in the northwest corner. A couch makes the environment conducive to overnighters and software design bull sessions. The exit is to the east.
  
  Four computer geeks are here; Fred, Mark, Dan, and Leonard, by name.
  
  You can also see a rollable whiteboard here.
  
  "I wonder if something's wrong with the firewall," says Fred.
  
  Dan expresses his regret that Descartes and Hume were not contemporaries of the pay-per-view cage match.
  
  > give the paperclip to Lalrry
  Lalrry gladly takes the paperclip from your outstretched palm. With the flair of a showman, he tosses it into the air and catches it in his shirt pocket. Stepping back, he indicates the wheel.
  
  "Guess a, any!", says Lalrry, indicating the wheel of fortune.
  
  > guess scrutinize
  "Hey, good! And so spin the..."
  
  Lalrry gives the wheel a good push and it begins rapidly rotating, spinning faster now, now slowly winding down until it...stops...on...
  
  "Hey, win!" Lalrry seems genuinely excited as he hands you your prize--a large plush doll made in the unauthorized image of a certain tap-dancing animated frog.
  
  "I love that little!", Lalrry confides in you. "Always makes laugh!"
  
  "Now guess another, Isqui!"
  
  "Guess a, any!", says Lalrry, indicating the wheel of fortune.
  
  > examine the frog
  A green and yellow plush copyright violation: a cartoon frog wearing a top hat.
  
  "Guess a, any!", says Lalrry, indicating the wheel of fortune.
  
  > Guess disembark
  "Hey, good! And so spin the..."
  
  Lalrry gives the wheel a good push and it begins rapidly rotating, spinning faster now, now slowly winding down until it...stops...on...
  
  "Sorry!", says Lalrry with a shrug. "Better luck next!"
  
  You watch, only slightly disconcerted, as the fairgrounds waver and fade away. You fall, but the fall is no longer frightening; it is exhilarating. All the same, it is worrying just how far you are falling--it seems much longer than last time--just as you begin to wonder whether something has gone wrong, you are somewhere else.
    
  
  Uh-oh, you can see your hands. The invisibility potion must have worn off! Your tactic for getting past the giant crab quickly changes from quietly sneaking to running like mad for the oaken door on the opposite side. Hearing the crunch of your sneakers against the shell-ridden floor, the crab frantically scuttles around toward you, but you have reached the door. It's unlocked! You open the door a crack, dart through, and slam it shut again.
  
  A dull thud echoes from the other side of the door, followed by a soft scratching. Breathing a sigh of relief, you turning around, noticing for the first time just how close you are to the end of your quest. For this is the...
  
  The stone walls on either side of you reach high into the darkening sky--the smell of fresh air is exhilarating after your travails within the depths of the castle. This short hallway was once covered in lush red carpet, but its exposure to the elements and its proximity to a trigger-happy warlock have scorched and rotted it, exposing the cobblestones beneath. Black mold grows on the few patches of carpeting that remain. West is the large oaken door you so recently fled through; east you can see into the the lighted study of the dread warlock Do'papoc.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a plush frog
  a Bracelet of Citrus Resistance (being worn)
  a school-issue spellbook
  a manual of demonology
  a stuffed parrot
  a Carelka quarter (providing light)
  a shapeless blob of brown wax
  a book of lore
  a bag of Eldritch Farm cookies
  
  > look at Bracelet
  Drawing its power from the Kinda-Sorta-Semi-Quasi-Para-Elemental Plane of Citrus, this magical bracelet grants you immunity to all citrus-based attacks. Its gemstones sparkle the color of lemons, grapefruits, and oranges.
  
  > examine spellbook
  This slight, spiral-bound tome has "Isqui's Spellbook" written on the blue cover. It contains seven spells, laboriously copied from your school textbook. Unfortunately, your school textbook, "Harry Potter and the 2000 Middle School Magical Education Standards", tends to focus less on the "cause mighty warlock to tremble in fear" type spells and more on the "subject target to sharp kick in pants" type spells. In fact, "subject target to sharp kick in pants" is probably your best spell, apart from "open even locked or enchanted objects", which you can't even memorize anymore, since you got strawberry jam all over the runes.
  
  Your spellbook contains the following spells:
  funyun spell: cause spell caster to memorize wrong spell.
  geordi spell: bring simulacrum of animal to life.
  foobar spell: make the inedible edible.
  rekn0g spell: Bj*e,ev%n.l/((-%d o(fen.na5t*d o2*l70.
  bismol spell: subject target to sharp kick in pants.
  formic spell: summon being's mother.
  eldspa spell: sharpen pencil.
  
  > learn the rekn0the g.
  Using your best study habits, you commit the rekn0g spell to memory.
  
  > rekn0g yourself
  ** Run-time error: rekn0g_spell (object number 242)  has no property magic to send message **
  
  > learn the bismol
  Using your best study habits, you commit the bismol spell to memory.
  
  > learn the funyun
  Using your best study habits, you commit the funyun spell to memory.
  
  > look at the manual
  "How To Summon Demons and Influence People" concerns itself primarily with powerful and dangerous fiends like the iCthulu, summonable in eight deadly colors. The spells of summoning have bizarre names like "lexyacc" and "perlsed", and are very complicated, some requiring material components. Only one spell near the beginning seems even remotely comprehensible to you:
  
  awkgrep spell: summon extremely minor demon.
  
  > learn the foobar
  Using your best study habits, you commit the foobar spell to memory.
  
  > Foobar frog
  The plush frog suddenly looks edible. In fact, it looks downright tasty.
  
  > eat the frog
  You eat the plush frog. Not bad.
  
  > examine the lore
  It looks like a normal book, "Lup's Compendium of Tales Most Ancient". Opening it up, however, reveals that the book is completely blank, except for a few lines of verse in the middle of a page near the beginning:
  
  Ye Hound of Cern imprisoned be
  From now until ye End of Time
  And naught but 'tis a flaming Snail
  Will break his curse, and bring to thee
  A refreshing Splash of Lemon-Lyme
  Place Snail on Stone where Hound is kep't
  And he for whome all Nature wep't
  A Prisoner no more will rise:
  REQUIRE, BEND, and CAUTERIZE
  
  > examine the frog
  A green and yellow plush copyright violation: a cartoon frog wearing a top hat.
  
  > examine the wax
  A blob of wax about six inches in diameter, the melted remains of the snail candle. The wick is probably still in there somewhere.
  
  > look at the cookies
  It's a bag of Eldritch Farm cookies -- "Remember when the sun guttered out and inky slithering blackness engulfed the earth? Eldritch Farm remembers." The instructions on the bag indicate that the chocolatey cookies may be eaten, or used as spell components when summoning demons of unimaginable power. There are four cookies left.
  
  > look at the parrot
  This parrot looks real enough to have been alive at one point, but it may simply be a well-crafted construction. In any event, it's not alive right now. Lovely plumage, though; brilliant blues, greens, and yellows. Now that you've separated it from its perch, it has no particular orientation, and dangles upside-down from your hand. Its glass eye stares at you balefully, blaming you for subjecting it to the rigors of gravity.
  
  > Examine quarter
  A quarter from the sprite nation of Carelka. It glows with a magical light.