text: [Themes: modern, humor]
  
  "Where's my broom?" You ask, having made your decision. He smiles and points you towards a cabinet. You walk to the metal free standing cabinet and open it. Within are many a broom and many a dust bucket.
  
  You take out your new companions, broom and bucket, and turn to walk away. "And, Ricky?" He calls after you. Your turn around to see what he wants and he finishes with narrow eyes and flaring nostrils. "Don't you fuck up out there, because I'm already thinking of ways to get rid of you."
  
  You nod and thank him and walk through the massive office to the door that leads back to the souvenir shop. The girl behind the counter and smiles as you walk past, and you give her a what you hoped would be a little wave of the hand, but ended up as some sort of weird salute to brooms. I'm such an idiot, you tell yourself with self loathing.
  
  You soon find yourself outside of the souvenir shop and staring down at a trash littered walkway. Its strange how much more trash there seems to be now that you have to sweep it up.
  
  But that's your job, so you take a deep breath and get to work. You toil at the work for countless minutes which turn to countless hours. It is not long before your feet begin to ache and your skin begins to burn. You empty your first full dust bucket into the nearest trash can and wonder if you really haven been working for as long as you'd thought, or if you were so incompetent that you can't even sweep up garbage with any degree of efficiency.
  
  You look at the clock on the nearby duck tower and find that only a half hour has passed. So it hasn't been that long and you're incompetent.
  
  That's when you realize how hungry you are and spot a french fry on the ground with a little bit of chili on the ground. Wasting no time, you reach down and pick up the fry. You drop the whole thing into your mouth and are satisfied by the nourishment it provides. You look around and see plenty of food, popcorn here, a half eaten hotdog there. It's like a buffet with cigarette butts!
  
  You are tossing a handful of popcorn into your open mouth when you hear a child behind you say something in a horrified whisper; "Is that guy eating garbage?"
  
  "Yes," her mother replies. "That's him. Remember what I said at the gate, we don't talk to people like that."
  
  "Wow," The little girl says in awe as her mother leads her away, "He really is stupid."
  
  "Come on, darling." She says. You can hear them walking away in a fury of stomping feet and huffed breathing.
  
  Screw them, you tell yourself. One man's trash is another man's treasure, isn't it? You chew up the rest of your popcorn and try to work the pebble out of your teeth.
  
  There is a tap on your shoulder. You turn around to see a skinny kid a few years older than you. He has a Ducky Park hat on with the stupid duck bill and a name tag that reads Rick. It's always cool when you meet someone that has the same name as you. You almost feel like there is an immediate bond with the other Ricks out there.
  
  "Hey man, you can't be eating trash," he says to you. "Its disgusting."
  
  "Okay," you reply.
  
  "We eat for free anyway," He says. "You are entitled to one meal for every four hours you work."
  
  "Okay," you say.
  
  He shakes his head and has a good humored smile on is face. "You got to promise me you aren't going to eat anymore trash, okay?" He asks of you.
  
  "Okay," you say.
  
  "Good," He says as he starts to turn away. He stops suddenly and faces you again. "Look, if you don't think you can do it, you can always help me and the crew empty the trash bags. Just tell me now, because George told me that if you screw up once I'm supposed to fire you, and I don't like firing people on their first day."
  
  The prospect of perfectly good food lying on the ground was at first appealing, but you now realize that you were wrong. Trash is not supposed to be eaten. Especially when you can get free food from the stands. How stupid of you.
  
  "So... What are you going to do?" He asks, drawing your attention back to him.
  
  You have a decision to make.
  
  > go with him. This sweeping business is the pits anyway.
  "I think I'll come with you," You say to him. "I'm sick of sweeping crap up anyway."
  
  "Cool," He says. "Right this way." He starts walking again and you start to follow. You decide that you like this guy. Most people are total assholes to you, but he treats you like just another employee. Maybe it's just because you both have the same name and therefore share that special bond that only people with the same name can experience.
  
  As he leads you past the ferris wheel and into the picnic area, you cannot help but note the sudden spring in your step and lightness of heart. This is a good career move, you think. Working the trash, whatever that means, you like it better than sweeping already.
  
  Rick reaches the end of the picnic area and opens a gate in the fence. You follow him through the gate and notice a rancid odor slowly taking over the air as you get closer to the source. It isn't long before you reach the origin of the rank odor, a virtual city of dumpsters filled with pounds of rotting trash. The scent is so thick in the air that you feel as though you are wading through the filth. You gag a little.
  
  "You'll get used to the smell," He says reassuringly as you continue to follow him. He leads you in between some of the larger dumpsters where three guys stand leaning up against the side of one of the dumpsters.
  
  "Guys," Rick says to them, "This is Rick, he'll be working with you. Show him the ropes and what-not. Take him on a few of the trash runs with you so he can figure out how his role here works and that kind of stuff. You remember what it was like on your first day, so keep that in mind when dealing with him."
  
  "Sure thing, Rick," says on of the guys, a tall, broad shouldered, and tough looking fellow. He cracks his knuckles and spreads a sinister smile. "We'll treat him real nice-like."
  
  "See that you do, Bruno." Rick says to him. "I don't want any injuries reported like the last guy."
  
  "I'll make sure he don't report nothin'," Bruno says looking at you with eyes that make you more than a little uneasy.
  
  "Okay," Rick says, "And remember, if you need to hide his body, bury it deep into the dumpster. Don't leave it at the top where anyone can see it."
  
  "Sure thing, boss," Bruno replies.
  
  Rick slaps you on the shoulder. "Good luck," He says to you before turning around and walking away. You watch after him as he disappears between some of the towering dumpsters.
  
  Bruno walks up to you and you stare up at him with terror filled eyes. He clenches a fist and prepares to punch. You close your eyes tight and are surprised to feel a slight tap on your arm. "We was just kiddin' with you," he says. The other guys burst into a fit of laughter.
  
  "Dude about shit his pants!" One of them says, doubled over and holding his gut.
  
  Everyone laughs for a while and you do your best not to get upset about it, but your face is beat red and you hate it when you are embarrassed. After a while they stop laughing and Bruno introduces you to the others.
  
  "The skinny guy there is Mark," He says pointing to the guy who had made a comment about you shitting your pants only moments ago. "And Dante is out little negro friend." You smile meekly at the black guy standing beside you; he is still wiping tears from his eyes and chuckling a bit under his breath.
  
  "There are two other guys in our crew, but it was their turns to collect the trash and I'll introduce you to them when they return." Bruno says.
  
  "So what do you do all day when you're not collecting the trash?" You ask.
  
  Dante smiles and spreads his arms out to his sides, "You're lookin' at it, man. This is it. We stand around. Sometimes we roll dice. Sometimes we play cards. Sometimes Nickie will hook us up with beers from the gardens. But basically this is all we do. We just wait for our turn to collect the trash."
  
  "Sometimes we smoke weed too," Mark says with a smile, putting what appears to be a poorly manufactured cigarette into his mouth.
  
  "Aw yeah," Dante says, "Mark came through with the chronic!"
  
  "I told you I would, didn't I?" Mark replies, the cigarette bouncing up and down in his mouth as he talks.
  
  You point to the cigarette in Marks' mouth. "That is one cheaply made cigarette," You tell him.
  
  "Shit," He says, "This ain't no cigarette. It's a joint."
  
  "Oh," You respond meekly. "I've never seen one of them before."
  
  Mark hits Bruno on the shoulder. "He said he ain't never seen one of these before."
  
  "Yeah, I heard him," Bruno says. "Hey Ricky, don't go ratting on us for this, okay? Sometimes we just get a little high so that the day goes faster. We still get all of our work done."
  
  "I'm not going to say anything," You say.
  
  "Good man," Mark says. He pulls a lighter out and sparks it to life. He sucks in the smoke and hands it to Bruno, who does the same. After Bruno inhales he passes it to Dante. Dante takes a hit and holds it out to you. You stare at it, unsure of whether you really want to do it. If you did it and your dad found out about it he'd kill you. But your dad isn't here, is he?
  
  "Come on," Dante says. "Everybody's doing it."
  
  "Yeah," Bruno says, "You'll be cool if you do it."
  
  You've always wanted to be cool. You take the joint from Dante's hand and place the end of it to your lips. You breath in the smoke, it is hot and it hurts your throat. You collapse into a fit of coughing and hand it off. It goes around again and comes back to you. As you start to take another hit you notice that Mark and Bruno are staring wide eyed at something behind you.
  
  You turn around while hitting the joint to see an enormous body waddling towards you. You realize soon that it is none other than George, the guy your uncle introduced you to when you decided to work in this division.
  
  "Dude," You can hear Mark saying behind you, "Seriously, it is not cool to smoke pot here."
  
  "Yeah," Bruno says, following Marks lead, "That stuff ain't no good."
  
  You look to Dante who just shakes his head at you.
  
  "You!" George says, his voice bellowing towards you and echoing off of the metal dumpsters around you. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
  
  "Well, me and the guys..." You begin.
  
  "Don't go bringing us into this," Dante warns.
  
  "George," Bruno says, "We tried telling this kid that smoking this shit was no good and that he couldn't do it here, but he's an animal! He said there wasn't anything wrong with it and he lit it up." George is almost to you at this point.
  
  "Yeah," Dante chimes in, "It's a good thing you showed up when you did."
  
  "Yeah," says Mark.
  
  George looks menacingly at you and points a fat finger in your face. You take note of the fact that you can actually smell his body odor over the garbage. "You're out of here, bucko!" He says to you, his jowls shaking with each word. "I don't care who your uncle is, I won't have any of my employees behaving like this."
  
  "But this isn't even mine," You protest.
  
  "I suppose it just appeared in your hand then?" You stare back at him blankly. "Get the hell out of here before I call the police."
  
  "But-"
  
  "NOW!!" He hollers in a voice that breaks in his fury.
  
  "And take your pot with you!" Bruno says.
  
  You give them all a dejected look and throw the joint on the ground before turning around and walking away.
  
  "Fucking stoner," Dante mutters as you walk off.
  
  You leave the maze of dumpsters behind you and walk through the gate back to the picnic area. You throw your stupid duck hat on the ground and make your way to the park gate with you head hung low.
  
  You pass through the exit of Ducky Park and spot the Happy Duck mascot who harassed you before standing there and watching you exit. His big cartoon eyes appear to be mocking you.
  
  "Thanks for visiting Ducky Park," He says to you.
  
  You charge at him and tackle him to the ground throwing fist after relentless fist into his stupid duck face, screaming random obscenities that make the children in line cry. Or maybe they're crying because you're beating up Happy Duck, you're not really sure.
  
  "Stupid Duck Fuck!!" You are heard to say. "I'll fuck you up your stupid duck asshole and smear my shit stained cock across your fake yellow bill!!"
  
  Security ends up prying you from atop Happy Duck. They restrain you while the sirens of the police come ever nearer. Your uncle Jim is there soon, he is shaking his head at you and looking on you with disappointment clear on his face.
  
  The police haul you down to the station where you stay for a night before your father comes to get you out. He beats you relentlessly the whole way home and for the next two days.
  
  You hate it when he hits you.