text: > Look around
  The garden is a tiny patch of green where Wensleydale is splashing around in the pond and the flowers are in full bloom in the flower bed. The tomato seeds have been planted in the vegetable patch.
  
  The old garden shed has a yard hydrant installed next to it. The garden hose is attached to the hydrant and the other end is tucked inside the molehill.
  
  > look at the list
  It's a list of things that are easy to do to get you started:
  
  - Remove weeds from the flower bed (done!)
  - Plant the tomatoes (done!)
  - Put the fish in the pond (done!)
  - Water the lawn (done!)
  
  > turn on the hose
  The water is already flowing.
  
  > turn off the hose
  It should stay until the mole is thoroughly hosed out.
  
  > examine the vegetable patch
  The vegetable patch is hiding tomato seeds in its soil.
  
  > enter the shed
  You go inside the garden shed again.
  
  It's a delightful little shed even though it has seen better days. Wear and tear just adds to the charm. The walls have been plastered with pages from books and there are several boxes full of miscellaneous junk.
  
  > Go outside
  You return to the garden.
  
  The garden is a tiny patch of green where Wensleydale is splashing around in the pond and the flowers are in full bloom in the flower bed. The tomato seeds have been planted in the vegetable patch.
  
  The old garden shed has a yard hydrant installed next to it. The garden hose is attached to the hydrant and the other end is tucked inside the molehill.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  > examine the pond
  Wensleydale is swimming in little circles in the water..
  
  > Xyzzy
  Maybe in some fantastic realm a garden would take care of itself with appropriately chosen magic words. Unfortunately this is not one of those realms.
  
  > jump
  You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
  
  > Sing
  Your singing is abominable.
  
  > Dance
  You'd make a fool of yourself.
  
  > turn off the water
  (the yard hydrant)
  It should stay until the mole is thoroughly hosed out.
  
  > enter the shed
  You go inside the garden shed again.
  
  It's a delightful little shed even though it has seen better days. Wear and tear just adds to the charm. The walls have been plastered with pages from books and there are several boxes full of miscellaneous junk.
  
  > read the pages
  "The slammer was a depressing mixture of displeasing white and uncaring gray. I walked past the empty cells listening to the steady click-clack of my steps echoing from the walls. In the last cell I found Professor Humphrey..."
  
  No wonder someone wanted to plaster it on the walls.
  
  > Yes
  debugcheapnitfol quit with exit status: 0
  
  In April, three months after you bought the house, the snow finally melts and for the first time you see how your new garden really looks like. It's not that bad, actually; you probably don't need to do much to make it look really nice. Armed with a to-do list and an upbeat attitude you go to work.
  
  This game is free software. See LICENSE for details.
  
  The garden is such a nice little patch of green for a novice gardener like yourself. There's even a small fish pond. Flowers are already in full bloom in the flower bed and there's an empty patch ready for vegetables. The grass looks a bit dry.
  
  There's also an old garden shed with a yard hydrant installed next to it.
  
  > remove weeds
  You get on your knees and pull each weed carefully out around the flowers. It takes a good thirty minutes, but the result looks really nice. Never mind the aching fingers.
  
  > plant the tomatoes
  You throw the tomato seeds evenly on the vegetable patch and spread some soil over them. That was easy.
  
  > put the fish in the pond
  The fish leaps from the plastic bag into the pond and starts to swim around in circles. In the spur of the moment you decide to name it "Wensleydale".
  
  > Leave
  You return to the garden.
  
  The garden is such a nice little patch of green for a novice gardener like yourself. There's even a small fish pond where Wensleydale is splashing around. Flowers are already in full bloom in the flower bed - now without any weeds - and the tomatoes are growing in the vegetable patch. The grass looks a bit dry.
  
  There's also an old garden shed with a yard hydrant installed next to it.
  
  > attach the hose
  What do you want to attach the garden hose to?
  
  > Mouth
  With some effort you screw the other end of the hose to the hydrant.
  
  > Water lawn
  You carefully hose the entire lawn and turn the water off when you're done. In your eyes the grass is already looking much greener!
  
  Well, that was the last chore and everything is now done! Looks like you are better at this than you even imagined!
  
  No, wait, what's that mound right in the middle of the garden? Ugh, it's a molehill. Better hose the bugger out while you're at it before the entire garden gets full of those.
  
  > put the hose in the molehill
  You tuck the end of the hose inside the mole hill.
  
  > enter the shed
  You go inside the garden shed again.
  
  The shed is in poor shape, but it's your own little shed. The walls have been plastered with newspapers and there are several boxes full of miscellaneous junk.
  
  Now let's see... There, right on top of a box, is a roll of silvery duct tape.
  
  > Mend hose
  You roll a few layers of tape around the leaking spot. It looks like it could hold now.
  
  > put the hose in the hill
  It's already in there.
  
  > turn on the water
  (the yard hydrant)
  You turn the valve and water starts to flow underground. You decide to leave it on for a while, just to be sure.
  
  > enter the shed
  You go inside the garden shed again.
  
  The shed is in poor shape, but it's your own little shed. The walls have been plastered with newspapers and there are several boxes full of miscellaneous junk.
  
  Let's see... Yes, there should be something useful here for this situation.
  
  You can see a coverall and a rake here.
  
  > take all
  coverall: Taken.
  rake: Taken.
  
  > Leave
  You return to the garden.
  
  The garden is a tiny patch of green where Wensleydale is splashing around in the pond and the flowers are in full bloom in the flower bed. The tomato seeds have been planted in the vegetable patch.
  
  The old garden shed has a yard hydrant installed next to it. The garden hose is attached to the hydrant and the other end is tucked inside the molehill.
  
  Some crows are eating away the tomato seeds you just planted.
  
  What the... The weeds have resurrected themselves and fill the flower bed again!
  
  Goddamnit.
  
  > take the weeds
  You pull one weed out and sigh. This is never going to work without heavier armament.
  
  > enter the shed
  You go inside the garden shed again.
  
  The shed is in poor shape, but it's your own little shed. The walls have been plastered with newspapers and there are several boxes full of miscellaneous junk.
  
  There in the corner is a bright red bottle of herbicide with a skull printed on it. Excellent.
  
  > look at the herbicide
  There's a picture of a skull on the side. That means it must be efficient.
  
  > Leave
  You return to the garden.
  
  The garden is a tiny patch of green where Wensleydale is splashing around in the pond and the flowers are in full bloom in the flower bed. The tomato seeds have been planted in the vegetable patch.
  
  The old garden shed has a yard hydrant installed next to it. The garden hose is attached to the hydrant and the other end is tucked inside the molehill.
  
  You hear Wensleydale splash about in the pond.
  
  > pour herbicide on the weeds
  You pop the cap from the weedkiller which greets you with a gust of poisonous fumes. "Ha! Ha! HA! HAHA! HA!" you scream as you pour the stuff on those demonic parasites. Let's see them come back to life now!
  
  The weeds die spectacularly, whithering as soon as the herbicide hits them. War is not without casualities, as you soon find out - the flowers can't take the heat and they turn into shriveled mounds of organic mass.
  
  You look at the flower bed and muse your Pyrrhic victory.
  
  > examine fish
  Hngaah! It's not Wensleydale that's splashing but the neighbour's cat who's trying to catch him! Shoo, cat, shoo!
  
  F%#&!
  
  > take the cat
  "Here, pus pus pus..."
  
  You approach the cat, trying to grab it to carry it away from the pond. She sees you approaching, hisses, and makes a daring leap towards you.
  
  She lands straight on your face and takes hold with all four legs. The beast drives its claws in the neck and the back of your head. "Mmmph hmmh mph!" you swear.
  
  > remove the cat
  "Meow," the cat says as you struggle to get free.
  
  > examine the cat
  It's the neighbour's cat. You used to like it, before it started to prey on your fish.
  
  > take the cat
  Technically, you already have her.
  
  > hit the cat
  You wave your arms in the general direction of your face (where the cat is), but it just makes the furry assailant to grab a tighter hold.
  
  > enter the shed
  You stumble and nearly lose balance when the cat scratches you again.
  
  > enter the shed
  "Mhbh!" you exclaim when your attempts are buggered by the blinding grasp of the beast.
  
  > Inventory
  "NO!" the cat yells and claws at your left ear. (It might've also been "meow".)
  
  > throw the cat
  How? The feline abdomination has blindfolded you with her own furry body.
  
  > put the cat in the pond
  You would, but mouse-breath is still facehugging you.
  
  > go pond
  "NO!" the cat yells and claws at your right ear. (It might've also been "meow".)
  
  > pull the cat
  You take a good grip of the little bastard and yank her out of your face. Her final loot is a bunch of hair and a good amount of freshly scraped skin. The cat jumps on the ground and runs off.
  
  You glance at the vegetable patch where the crows are back, with a couple of friends of theirs. It looks as if some of them are actually laughing at the scarecrow. Laughing. At the scarecrow. Laughing.
  
  You don't say anything. Your left eye twitches.
  
  > examine the fish
  Wensleydale makes cheerful little circles in its new home.
  
  > examine the flowers
  The flowers were petunias and poppies, you guess.
  
  > enter the shed
  You go inside the garden shed again.
  
  The dark and rotting shed is just about as awful as you can imagine. The walls have been plastered with newspapers and there are several boxes full of miscellaneous junk.
  
  There has to be something here yet that will save the day! Has to be something!
  
  > search the junk
  You rummage through the boxes, trying to find some magic tool that will make all go better. There is nothing there.
  
  > examine the newspapers
  On closer inspection it's not newspaper after all but pages torn from books. From Jack Mills pocket books, to be precise.
  
  > Exit
  You sigh and return to the garden.
  
  It's the garden of pain. The fish is hopefully still alive, the flowers most certainly are not. It's doubtful if there are any seeds left in the vegetable patch.
  
  The old garden shed has a yard hydrant installed next to it. The garden hose is attached to the hydrant and it runs inside the molehill.
  
  Some crows are eating away the tomato seeds you just planted.
  
  The ground erupts into four or five geysirs, spraying water from the underground mole tunnels.
  
  The bunny returns and chews on the remaining flora.
  
  The cat is back prowling about for Wensleydale by the pond.
  
  ***
  
  You close your eyes.
  
  > close the eyes
  They are already closed.
  
  > open eyes
  You open your eyes and behold! A paradise unfolds in front of your eyes! The flowers are blooming, the grass is a gleaming green carpet where butterflies chase each other and stop only to rest in sparkling waters of a beautiful yard pond. It is the perfect embodiment of a spring garden.
  
  "You have a very beautiful garden, Mrs. Salines," you tell your next door neighbour who is watering her petunias on the other side of the fence. "WHY DOES MINE LOOK LIKE THE AFTERMATH OF A CARPET BOMBING?" You can feel your blood pressure throbbing a vein in your forehead.
  
  Mrs. Salines laughs jovially. "My dear, you just need a bit of patience! You can't expect perfect results right away," she tells you. "Come, I'll make us some tea and then we'll go have a look at your garden."
  
  You feel a bit better.