text: [Themes: Surreal]
  
  It was supposed to be a carefree escape. Just you, your yacht, and a two-month supply of frozen pizza, chicken fingers, and beer. But it seems there was an uninvited guest: scurvy.
  
  The immaculate fiberglass transom of your 45-foot yacht only highlights the hideous, scorbutic condition of your body. Fifty-eight days of nothing but carbohydrates, alcohol, and deep-fried poultry have come to this.
  
  You cannot speak, and you can barely move. You can only muster the strength to groan.
  
  [Author's Note: You play as a person on a yacht who is dying from scurvy. Apparently pursuing a diet of just pizza, chicken fingers, and beer for nearly two months wasn't your best idea. A tiny amount of vitamin C can save you, but you can barely move. And here come the hallucinations.]
  
  > Groan
  You moan a wet-sounding sough.
  
  HOW TO PLAY: The options available to your scurvy-riddled brain and body are:
  
  examine
  give
  groan
  wait
  
  Typing "help" at any time will bring up this list again. It will not, however, restore your body's ability to synthesize collagen.
  
  > Appreciate yourself
  You're really more of an animal person.
  
  > Appreciate scurvy
  You're really more of an animal person.
  
  A chance look at the ocean reveals the corpulent outline of a surfacing manatee.
  
  > Appreciate the manatee
  As you ruminate on the merits of the manatee -- so noble! So gentle! -- your vision blurs and you feel your perspective shift.
  
  The smell of citrus awakens long-dead senses, as a gentle breeze wafts through row after row of orange trees in fruit. The wind only somewhat irritates your inflamed gums, so that's an improvement.
  
  You can see some trees and a manatee farmer here.
  
  > examine the trees
  Festooned with life-giving citrus. Even one of them would save your life, but for one thing they are too far away and for another they are guarded by a possessive manatee farmer.
  
  "Boy howdy, I could stand to whet my whistle. Preferably with something alcoholic." The manatee farmer winks. "Got me one of them demandin' whistles."
  
  > Groan
  You grumble a heartrending wail.
  
  "Take yer grousin' somewhere else," says the manatee. "I've seen worse."
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying:
  a jacket (being worn)
  
  > examine the jacket
  You bought this jacket to symbolize your financial independence and freedom. Right now it's soaked with a heady combination of rum, breading, and old sweat.
  
  The manatee twitches its vibrissae. "Been a long day out here," it muses. "Could sure use a tall cold one."
  
  Before you can act, the smell of the ocean fills your nostrils and your vision shifts again as the hallucination expires.
  
  The immaculate fiberglass transom of your 45-foot yacht only highlights the hideous, scorbutic condition of your body. Fifty-eight days of nothing but carbohydrates, alcohol, and deep-fried poultry have come to this.
  
  You cannot speak, and you can barely move. You can only muster the strength to groan.
  
  You can see a rat here.
  
  > Appreciate rat
  As you meditate on the merits of the rat -- so resourceful! So thrifty! -- your vision blurs and you feel your perspective shift.
  
  The mountain of treasure piled before you shimmers with the casual indifference of unadulterated wealth. Torches burn in the wall sconces, contributing to the impression of an ill-gotten fortune.
  
  Sitting before his hoard in a gilded Aeron chair, whiskers twitching proudly, is a rat tycoon.
  
  > look at the treasure
  You see amethyst goblets, hillocks of gold doubloons, and what appears to be a life-sized jewel-encrusted chimpanzee.
  
  With studied indifference, the whiskered prince of business hefts a crystalline chalice. "Feh. About as much emotion in this object as there is in my multinational corporation's mission statement."
  
  > examine the chimpanzee
  Was it ever alive? And if so, isn't this better?
  
  "I would give it all up," the tycoon says, nervously worrying at his lapels, "for proof that love exists in this cynical, bottom-line-driven world."
  
  > Appreciate the chimpanzee
  This is not the 2010 film sensation Inception.
  
  Before you can act, the smell of the ocean fills your nostrils and your vision shifts again as the hallucination expires.
  
  The immaculate fiberglass transom of your 45-foot yacht only highlights the hideous, scorbutic condition of your body. Fifty-eight days of nothing but carbohydrates, alcohol, and deep-fried poultry have come to this.
  
  You cannot speak, and you can barely move. You can only muster the strength to groan.
  
  > get the beer
  You emit a piteous sob.
  
  With a loud caw, a seagull alights on the aft railing in front of you.
  
  > Appreciate the seagull
  As you ruminate on the merits of the seagull -- so loud! So gregarious! -- your vision blurs and you feel your perspective shift.
  
  The candlelit taproom smells of liquor and cherry-wood. Dignified in her barkeep's apron, your seagull wife swabs the surface of the bar with a feathered wing.
  
  One look and you know she's a loving, caring wife who can carry her end of a conversation.
  
  > examine the seagull
  She grits her beak with frustrated determination, and worry-lines crinkle the downy spots around her eyes.
  
  Your seagull wife taps idly at the cash register with her beak. It springs open, empty.
  
  > Kiss seagull
  Keep your mind on the game.
  
  > wait
  Time passes.
  
  Before you can act, the smell of the ocean fills your nostrils and your vision shifts again as the hallucination expires.
  
  The immaculate fiberglass transom of your 45-foot yacht only highlights the hideous, scorbutic condition of your body. Fifty-eight days of nothing but carbohydrates, alcohol, and deep-fried poultry have come to this.
  
  You cannot speak, and you can barely move. You can only muster the strength to groan.
  
  > Groan
  You moan a wet-sounding sough.
  
  A chance look at the ocean reveals the corpulent outline of a surfacing manatee.
  
  > Inventory
  You are carrying:
  a jacket (being worn)
  
  With a deliberate flap of its platter-sized forelimb, the manatee sinks back into the deep.
  
  > examine the jacket
  You bought this jacket to symbolize your financial independence and freedom. Right now it's soaked with a heady combination of rum, breading, and old sweat.
  
  > Groan
  You emit a piteous sob.