text: [Themes: Science Fiction, Humor, romance]
  
  > Look around
  The great assembly floor of 'Rockets, Sprockets, and Pants,' which stretches in every direction as far as the eye can see. Particularly to the north, where some of your buddies with the propulsion labs work.
  
  South lies the Way Out.
  
  Before you sits your desk.
  
  MonkeyMan Shatner is here, breathing just left of down your neck.
  
  > ask Shatner about the pants
  "Yes, I am already well-aware of zis contraption, M. Whatever. Believe me, I am not in ze least impressed."
  
  > ask Shatner about yourself
  He yawns broadly.
  
  > go north
  "Monsieur ... um. Surely you do not mean to LEAVE with zis COMPANY MERCHANDISE???"
  
  The correct answer, for the uncertain, is to shake your head slowly. Which you do.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a pair of rocket pants
  
  > wear the pants
  You slide the pants on. They fit like... like a glove for legs.
  
  > Go north
  His little eyes are WATCHING you. Everywhere you go.
  
  > buy the pants
  Nothing is on sale.
  
  > take off the pants
  You take off the rocket pants.
  
  > hit Shatner
  EnigmaGirl would be SO DISAPPOINTED in you.
  
  > look at Shatner
  William Shatner used to have this job after things went awry over at Priceline, but now it's pretty much done by an extra in a monkey suit. Hard to tell the difference, really. He just goes around and bugs people.
  
  Also, for reasons best not explored, he's wearing a little French beret, to which he is strangely attached.
  
  > drop the pants
  Dropped.
  
  > go north
  So-called even though the only thing they really do around here is throw stuff at people. Also, they work better hours than you. In other words, everyone's gone home for the day.
  
  A largeish contraption points south.
  
  A banana rests on the floor nearby. Someone's lunch, no doubt.
  
  > get the banana
  Taken.
  
  > examine the banana
  Sadly green.
  
  > look at the contraption
  It looks as though, if you put the least little thing in it, that thing will be hurled with great force. DANGEROUS, the crap they keep around here. One day you're going to be KILLED.
  
  > put the banana in the contraption
  With graceful force, the banana arcs into the air, over the nearby desks, unmistakeably in the direction of MonkeyMan Shatner.
  
  What happens next is a little hazy. First of all, the Ride of the Valkyrie starts up on the factory intercom. Second, a pair of hitherto unnoticed and generally locked doors at the east end of the factory opens up. Third, in comes a cavalcade of nude polo players. They stream through like the area like the Naturalist Apocalypse, departing through hitherto undetected and assuredly not-available-for-your-use doors to the west.
  
  When the dust clears and the music ends, Shatner is gone. All that remains is his beret, staked to the back wall with a single banana.
  
  > go south
  The great assembly floor of 'Rockets, Sprockets, and Pants,' which stretches in every direction as far as the eye can see. Particularly to the north, where some of your buddies with the propulsion labs work.
  
  South lies the Way Out.
  
  Before you sits your desk.
  
  You can also see a pair of rocket pants (which are closed) here.
  
  > go to the south
  The Out Escalator -- one way transportation for people on the go. It's pretty jammed at this time of evening, all your coworkers in their green and yellow uniforms jostling each other to get out...
  
  You scoot along the automated OUT escalator until you arrive at...
  
  One look at the parking lot tells you what you might already have guessed: the traffic is going to be backed up from here to the Schuykill Expressway, and if you have any plans to meet EnigmaGirl in a timely fashion, you'd better find another way than in you trusty automobile.
  
  What it comes down to is this. How much do you trust your own mad stitching skillz?
  
  > turn on the pants
  There's an exhilarating vibration all around your-- er-- hmm.
  
  Well anyway, you blast off, is the main point. To the accompaniment of loud cheers and honking horns. And soon find yourself...
  
  You're currently in midair some hundreds of feet over the Schuykill River. Off down and kind of to the southwest, you can see your front yard.
  
  > Go southwest
  You descend with more abruptness than majesty, right through the sticky limbs of your tree...
  
  Characterized by a large tree. Otherwise, it's pretty much just a patch of dirt that you haven't gotten around to seeding. The rocket pants have been your life, night and day: you haven't got time for mundane gardening.
  
  Just to the west is the front door of your lovely abode.
  
  > go west
  What, without switching off the rocket pants? You'll set the crepes suzette on fire. Ahead of time.
  
  > turn off the pants
  You switch the rocket pants off.
  
  > go west
  Prepared for the evening in advance. You may be an engineer, but you do have a spark of romance in you: the candles are already laid out on the table, the bottle of wine is chilling, your CD player is ready-prepared with romantically Enigmatic music. In honor of the occasion you've cut a large question mark out of sparkly cardboard and hung it from the ceiling. It's these little touches a girl will appreciate.
  
  You could sure use a shower, though.
  
  > Wait
  Just as you are about to wait, the doorbell rings!
  
  You fling it open and in she walks. "Hello, Mister-- uh--"
  
  "Grisham," you say hastily, "just Grisham, though if you don't like that my middle name is Peter, but--"
  
  "Hi." She shoots you a sparkly smile. "I guess I don't need to introduce myself, right?"
  
  You swallow. Introduce herself? Half the energy you put into this date was in the form of scraping her publicity pics off every available surface... The place does look a little bare, come to that.
  
  > examine EnigmaGirl
  She looks... stunning. Sheathed from head to toe in a black lycra bodysuit, the question-mark picked out in silver on each sleeve; her hair drawn back and her lovely eyes concealed by a pair of dark shades.
  
  "So, like," EnigmaGirl says, looking around nervously. "You said you had something you wanted to, like, show me?"
  
  > Show pants to EnigmaGirl
  "Oooh!!" Her eyes light up and she takes the pants from your offering hands. "May I?"
  
  Confidently she steps into them and zips them up. Funny how well they fit her-- but then, you made them self-adjusting pants. "The way they work is --"
  
  "I think I know how they work, geekboy," she says, her smile flashing. "I've only been scheming to get my hands on them for the past two years." Her hands smooth down the pockets and she checks herself for wrinkles in the mirror. "God, nice styling."
  
  "You should see the way they--"
  
  "Fly? Don't worry, I will."
  
  "But, um, wait up a sec, okay?" You smile nervously. This isn't going quite as planned. "I'm supposed to take them back, I just wanted to show you but if I lose them my job is gone, they are very valuable PROTOTYPE PANTS..." You find yourself talking with greater and greater rapidity as she strides towards the door and flings it open. "Who're you trying to kid, loser? Do you think I came on this date because I wanted to see YOU?"
  
  And with those cruel words, she's gone in a khaki flash.