text: [Themes: Slice of life]
  
  "Chicken sexing is a delicate art, requiring Zen-like concentration and a brain surgeon's dexterity. The bird is cradled in the left hand and given a gentle squeeze that causes it to evacuate its intestines... With his thumb and forefinger, the sexer flips the bird over and parts a small flap on its hindquarters to expose the cloaca, a tiny vent where both the genitals and anus are situated, and peers deep inside."
  
  Joshua Foer - "Moonwalking with Einstein"
  
  Another day, another farmer in need of assistance. If it weren't for people like you, the entire American agricultural sector would've gone bankrupt years ago.
  
  You adjust your tie as you step out of the helicopter. Time to get to work.
  
  Type ABOUT or HELP for some basic information about the game, as
  well as a hint menu.
  
  Piles of hay everywhere. A soft layer of sawdust covers the floor, and makes moving around feel like walking through coarse sand. The sun shines through the slits between the planks, causing crisscrossing rays of light to illuminate the dusty air.
  
  In the middle of the room is a large wooden table, on which a baby chick is currently trying to hide between its own tiny wings.
  
  The farmer stands by the gate to the south, waiting for you to do your job.
  
  Your job is to sex the chicken.
  
  [Author's Note: "With his thumb and forefinger, the sexer flips the bird over and parts a small flap on its hindquarters to expose the cloaca, a tiny vent where both the genitals and anus are situated, and peers deep inside." Joshua Foer - "Moonwalking with Einstein"]
  
  > Sex the farmer
  He is either male, or a very convincing transvestite. Your training only covered chickens.
  
  > Sex chick
  "Hold it right there, buddy," says the farmer. "I ain't lettin' you touch my chickens, until you've shown me you're qualified."
  
  > look at the chick
  A chicken of indeterminate gender.
  
  > sex yourself
  Your powers only work on chickens.
  
  You're feeling jittery.
  
  > About yourself
  You're male.
  
  > check your inventory
  You are carrying:
  a certificate from the Zen-Nippon school of chick sexing
  
  > read the certificate
  As one of the first Americans to be certified in the Japanese art of chick sexing, you proudly carry this certificate.
  
  > show the certificate to the farmer
  The farmer reads the certificate and snorts. "Zen-Nippon school, eh? Well ain't that just swell. Okay, buddy, show me what you've got."
  
  > Sex chick
  The chicken is too nervous. You need to make it calm down before you can do an accurate sexing.
  
  > Pet chick
  "There, there," you say, in the soothing voice you have spent years perfecting. "It'll be over in a second."
  
  The chicken peeks out from beneath its wings. After a while, it seems to decide that you aren't so dangerous after all, and emerges completely. It looks up at you with big innocent eyes.
  
  > hug chick
  Keep your mind on the game.
  
  > squeeze chick
  Keep your hands to yourself.
  
  > Sex chick
  You carefully pick up the chicken with your expertly trimmed fingernails, and inspect its cloaca. In simple cases, the cloaca contains a small bead, the shape of which determines the gender. This is not one of those cases. To almost everyone in the world this would be just another chicken cloaca. To you, it's clearly male.
  
  Now that you know his gender, he somehow seems more like an individual. You almost feel like you should name the chicken something.
  
  > Name chick male
  You decide to think of the chicken as "Male".
  
  > Next chick
  Most connecting and comparative words are not necessary.
  
  Retrying as:
  >CHICK
  
  Type UNDO if this isn't what you wanted to do, or CORRECT OFF to stop automatically correcting commands.
  
  To stop these messages entirely, type NOVICE OFF.
  
  A male chicken.
  
  > Chick
  A male chicken.
  
  > give Male to the farmer
  (first taking Male)
  The farmer is watching you carefully. There is no way you can take Male without being noticed.
  
  > tell the farmer about Male
  [Use TALK TO to interact with characters.]
  
  > talk to the farmer
  "That didn't take long," says the farmer, and eyes you suspiciously. "Which is it then: Male or female?"
  
  regardless? If it turns out to be male, I'm sure it'll be of use elsewhere...
  
  > 1
  The farmer smiles, revealing rows of yellow teeth. "I guess ya won't be givin' me any eggs, will ya?" He picks up Male from the table, and turns towards you. "Let's get to work. Plenty more where that came from."
  
  With that, he throws the gate wide open, and leaves the barn. You try not to think about Male. It's just a chicken, after all. Plenty more where that came from.
  
  > 2
  The farmer looks disappointed. "Really? I coulda sworn it had the swagger of a cockerel. Well, I guess ya'll be givin' me plenty of eggs, little chicken." He picks up Male from the table, and turns towards you. "Let's get to work. Plenty more where that came from."
  
  With that, he throws the gate wide open, and leaves the barn.
  
  You think about Male, and smile. It'll be several weeks at least before the secondary sex characteristics start becoming apparent, even to the untrained eye of the farmer. Several weeks of life for little Male. Not much, but better than nothing.
  
  > 3
  "Hahahaha." The farmer laughs and drops of spittle land on your face. "You sure are a funny guy, buddy. Now, which is it: Male or female?"
  
  > go north
  Credits
  Hints
  
  > Go north
  > Credits
  Hints
  Writing and coding by Simon Christiansen.
  
  Testing done by Pippin Barr, Douglas Wilson and Marius MÃ¼ller.
  
  Feedback can be sent to SimonChris1729@gmail.com.
  
  Instructions for Play
  > Credits
  Hints
  
  > wait
  Time passes.
  
  > keep going
  Time passes.
  
  You're feeling jittery.
  
  > wait four days
  I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.
  
  Retrying as:
  >WAIT
  
  Type UNDO if this isn't what you wanted to do, or CORRECT OFF to stop automatically correcting commands.
  
  To stop these messages entirely, type NOVICE OFF.
  
  Time passes.
  
  > Go north
  Credits
  Hints
  > About Interactive Fiction
  What to do with >
  Getting Started
  Rooms and Travel
  Objects
  Controlling the Game
  How the World is Assembled
  If You Get Stuck
  
  > Go north
  The farmer won't let me sex the chicken.
  > How do I get the chicken to calm down?
  How do I save the chicken?
  
  > go north
  The farmer won't let me sex the chicken.
  How do I get the chicken to calm down?
  > How do I save the chicken?
  
  1/7: The farmer doesn't want male chickens.
  
  Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
  
  The farmer won't let me sex the chicken.
  How do I get the chicken to calm down?
  > How do I save the chicken?
  
  1/7: The farmer doesn't want male chickens.
  
  Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
  
  The farmer won't let me sex the chicken.
  How do I get the chicken to calm down?
  > How do I save the chicken?
  
  1/7: The farmer doesn't want male chickens.
  
  Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
  
  > Name chick herbert
  You decide to think of the chicken as "Herbert".
  
  > kill the farmer
  You consider trying to take down the farmer for Herbert's sake, but decide against it. He looks much stronger than you.
  
  You look at Herbert, and imagine that you see a flash of anger in his eyes. Your mind must be playing tricks on you.
  
  > Sic em
  [Use TALK TO to interact with characters.]
  
  > talk to Herbert
  You already made him calm down. Having an actual conversation is a bit beyond your skills.
  
  > take Herbert
  The farmer is watching you carefully. There is no way you can take Herbert without being noticed.
  
  > Pet herbert
  You gently caress the feathers of Herbert. He doesn't seem to mind.
  
  > Name farmer adolf
  You only name chickens.
  
  > take the sawdust
  It's just sawdust.
  
  > examine the planks
  The barn is composed of old-fashioned wooden planks.
  
  > examine the gate
  A large pair of wooden doors block the exit from the barn.
  
  > throw sawdust at the farmer
  (first taking the sawdust)
  It's just sawdust.
  
  > look at the table
  A sturdy wooden table.
  
  On the table is Herbert.
  
  > hit farmer
  "Herbert," you say with a confident voice. You raise your finger and point at the farmer: "Attack!".
  
  Herbert slowly stands up, looking like he might fall over at any moment. Then, almost faster than the eye can follow, he launches himself off the table, gliding through the air like a flying squirrel, towards the farmer. He lands on the farmers face and pecks at the eyes, furiously.
  
  The farmer drops to his knees and screams. "Aaargghhh! Not my vitreous humor! Get off me!" He rips Herbert off his face and throws him at you. "You're insane, both of you! Take that damn chicken and get off my farm!
  
  You catch Herbert in your outstretched hand. "You're the boss," you say to the farmer, and shrug. The sunlight caresses your face, as you step outside. It's going to be a wonderful day.
  
  You are never hired as a chicken sexer again, but that's okay. You have Herbert, and all the other chickens you manage to rescue during the next years. The neighbors start avoiding your house. They tell stories about the crazy chicken person, who lives in a house full of chickens, and talks to them all day long. It's fine. Who cares what they think?