text: [Themes: Fantasy, magic, silly, transformation, surreal]
  
  > look at your surroundings
  You're in a flower shop manned (elfed?) by faeries. You can go back west to the camp.
  
  You can see some freesia faeries, some heaths and some begonias here.
  
  > go to the north
  Here in this cross between a platform and farm plot lie the shocking red tents of the terminally un- and under-employed. You are quickly excluded from this once-mum commune, since you seem actually busy. An alley lies to the west, a posh shop is to the east, and back south is where you started from.
  
  A driveway with a yard view leads north. You hear painful music.
  
  That lost corn is still in that corner. Sorry if that sounds corny.
  
  A deadbeat is sitting on the ground here, looking dead beat. His eyes dart between you and the lost corn. Clearly, he resents the work your presence is forcing on him.
  
  The beats aren't audible here, but conversation voices rant on. The talkers seem to take you for a stalker, but nobody wants to get too close. A barnacled candelabra hangs above, antlers are attached to a wall, and carpets provide garish spectra on the floor.
  
  All in all, this place probably has a high property value, and people would be horrified if something happened to make it drop.
  
  Some dry cake is here. Nobody else is lower-class enough to eat it, but everyone's making sure nobody lower-class nabs it.
  
  > Go north
  It's dark that way. You step on a pliers and turn back before hitting any more perils.
  
  > Go west
  What would a beaten-down city be without an ol' hotel? Both have seen better days, but this place has been trashed hardest. Everything's boarded up, and the only way out is east.
  
  A ketchup bottle lies here, torn apart--and you have a prime suspect in the Night Thing that was here.
  
  The mattress still conforms to the shape of the night thing that sat on it--but it also has a bump in one corner.
  
  > take the machine
  You already have that.
  
  > check your inventory
  Item time! You are carrying:
  a termite emitter
  some begonias
  a barcode
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  > put the keycard on the sensor
  What do you know? It works! The door slides open!
  
  > go east
  You swipe your keycard and go east as the door opens.
  
  It's quiet here, mostly due to the soundproofed walls. It'd make a nice mob combine, but it's a small bunker for nerds who just got sick of the thumping. You suspect the actual entertainment center's in back, and you'd have to learn a secret handshake or something to get there. But you've got a city to save.
  
  A large metallic door is to the west. It's got no sensor on this side, so you can probably just walk back through it.
  
  You can also see some nerds and a lit-up tulip here.
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > Noise bag
  The begonias twirl and create a bag. One with weird triangular spikes on the inside. You exclaim surprise at it--the bag whooshes every time you say something.
  
  "Since I'm not omniscient..." Ish, note his tone. Sarcastic, arctic ass.
  
  > open the bag
  You open the noise bag.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > give the bag to NERDS
  They aren't big on material things. They probably prefer to show how smart they are.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > ask NERDS about the bag
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  A conceders' crescendo follows a claim nerds'd LIKE to help everyday stupid people.
  
  > use the bag on NERDS
  Use is a bit too vague for this game's parser to understand. You can SWITCH something, or PUT something IN/ON something, or even ATTACH something to something. You can PUSH a button or OPEN something, as well. Specific items should clue you what to do if you EXAMINE them.
  
  > put the bag on nerds
  Putting things on the nerds would achieve nothing.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > look at the bag
  It's labeled OPEN TO CAPTURE NOISES.
  
  "Since I'm not omniscient..." Ish, note his tone. Sarcastic, arctic ass.
  
  > open bag
  That's already open.
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  > Close bag
  You close the noise bag.
  
  "Since I'm not omniscient..." Ish, note his tone. Sarcastic, arctic ass.
  
  > look in the bag
  It's labeled OPEN TO CAPTURE NOISES.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > drop bag
  I noticed you used a period to separate commands. Unfortunately, the parser in Inform seems to have an extremely obscure bug (#1011 at inform7.com) that interacts with the solution to this game if you separate commands with periods. It was noticed near the release deadline, and it manifests itself when you refer to an in-game item or person or thing as one in a series of commands, usually three or more.
  
  This warning won't appear again. Hit any key to continue.
  You open the noise bag.
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  You shouldn't need to drop that. You have enough hands and pockets.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > drop the bag
  You shouldn't need to drop that. You have enough hands and pockets.
  
  Someone shows how mediums are for dummies. Others agree, eager.
  
  > ask NERDS about the noise
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > open the bag
  That's already open.
  
  > go to the north
  You'd probably be recognized and arrested.
  
  > examine the bag
  It's labeled OPEN TO CAPTURE NOISES.
  
  > put the noise in the bag
  Tautology?! Got ya, lout!
  
  > Noise bag
  The begonias twirl and create a bag. One with weird triangular spikes on the inside. You exclaim surprise at it--the bag whooshes every time you say something.
  
  > take the cake
  You feel a slap on your hand from someone who mentions Doc Bleak gave a creep a crepe once. A bold cake blockade! Someone else takes a turn watching you.
  
  > listen
  The conversation changes subject rapidly and randomly. "It can't be a real toxin. It gives relaxation!"
  .
  
  > open the bag
  That's already open.
  
  > turn on the machine
  You activate. They vacate it. It's like a petard--those who prated, depart and ratchet down the chatter. The emitter dies down after the last termite escapes.
  
  > examine the bag
  It's labeled OPEN TO CAPTURE NOISES.
  
  > Keycard
  The dry metallic cake turns into a dry metallic keycard, which you take for yourself. Hooray, technology.
  
  > Go east
  You swipe your keycard and go east as the door opens.
  
  It's quiet here, mostly due to the soundproofed walls. It'd make a nice mob combine, but it's a small bunker for nerds who just got sick of the thumping. You suspect the actual entertainment center's in back, and you'd have to learn a secret handshake or something to get there. But you've got a city to save.
  
  A large metallic door is to the west. It's got no sensor on this side, so you can probably just walk back through it.
  
  You can also see some nerds and a lit-up tulip here.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > ask NERDS about the wall
  Which do you mean, the fuzzy looking wall, the scraped wall or the cedar wall/walls?
  
  > ask NERDS about the controls
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > ask NERDS about the noise
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > examine the tulip
  No fickler flicker or slight lights--its twinkle lets it wink for a long while, with no way to turn it off or on.
  
  "...butler I rebuilt!"
  
  > examine walls
  They've got those perpendicular ridges in sets of three that kill sound. The nerds won't shut up, though.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > About yourself
  You're wearing generic, comfortable and inoffensive clothes, which have enough pockets for a modest inventory.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > Inventory
  Item time! You are carrying:
  some controls
  a keycard
  a termite emitter
  a noise bag (open but empty)
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  Someone shows how mediums are for dummies. Others agree, eager.
  
  > ask NERDS about the quest
  "He's not smart enough for us, is he?"
  
  "Well, if he found his way in, he is!"
  
  "Well, he'll have to find the right thing to ask nerds like us about if he wants us to stop talking about him like he's not here."
  
  "If he doesn't know what to ask nerds about, he deserves Ed's snark!" Whoever he is.
  
  The nerds give amens that MENSA is the greatest social group ever.
  
  > ask NERDS about the dungeons and the dragons
  More annoying banter. Perhaps you could disperse them with the right item. They'd deserve it. Though maybe if you keep bugging them, they'll get exasperated and give you better hints than what to ask nerds about.
  
  Someone shows how he cut down a stupider disputer. Others agree, eager.
  
  > ask NERDS about the station
  They form a grin ring, but you close your eyes a bit.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > ask NERDS about the thin ledge
  "You might as well ask dorks like Karkdoss about something that inconsequential!"
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > ask NERDS about the mensa
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  "Since I'm not omniscient..." Ish, note his tone. Sarcastic, arctic ass.
  
  > ask NERDS about the anagrams
  Apparently you haven't seen the light for what to ask nerds about. A few smart-people in-jokes later, you feel too aliterate to retaliate, worried it might take a thousand years to guess.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > ask NERDS about the walls
  (soundproofed walls)
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > ask NERDS about the tulip
  "We've got plenty of light here. You can have it, if you know what to ask us about. And if the tulip would help."
  
  A conceders' crescendo follows a claim nerds'd LIKE to help everyday stupid people.
  
  > ask NERDS about METROS
  The nerds look at each other, wondering why you would ask about that, really. They are sure you have something important to ask them. Maybe somewhere you can't get to or through. They could figure it out if in your shoes.
  
  Hmm. Apparently, when you ASK NERDS, you need to come correct. All the same, you're a bit annoyed, and you wonder if you can maybe play a mean trick on them to get that tulip, instead.
  
  You hear a MENSA-y yesman encourage someone to repeat himself.
  
  > ask NERDS about the darkness
  "What, you want us to do everything for you? We're exhausted from building this soundproofing. But whatever. Here. Have this lit-up tulip."
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > Go east
  You hear an even worse noise as you walk across the tracks. You run back across where you can reflect how it would be nice if you had something in that noise bag to combat...whatever it is there.
  
  > go to the east
  You swipe your keycard and go east as the door opens.
  
  It's quiet here, mostly due to the soundproofed walls. It'd make a nice mob combine, but it's a small bunker for nerds who just got sick of the thumping.
  
  A large metallic door is to the west. It's got no sensor on this side, so you can probably just walk back through it.
  
  You can also see some nerds and a lit-up tulip here.
  
  A conceders' crescendo follows a claim nerds'd LIKE to help everyday stupid people.
  
  > ask NERDS about the darkness
  "What, you want us to do everything for you? We're exhausted from building this soundproofing. But whatever. Here. Have this lit-up tulip."
  
  "Since I'm not omniscient..." Ish, note his tone. Sarcastic, arctic ass.
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > Go east
  You hear an even worse noise as you walk across the tracks. You run back across where you can reflect how it would be nice if you had a weapon in that sheath.
  
  > check your inventory
  Item time! You are carrying:
  a lit-up tulip
  a keycard
  a termite emitter
  a sheath
  some velcro (being worn)
  a tinfoil info-lit
  a salient saltine
  an idlers' slider
  a dope tan notepad
  
  > go east
  You swipe your keycard and go east as the door opens.
  
  It's quiet here, mostly due to the soundproofed walls. It'd make a nice mob combine, but it's a small bunker for nerds who just got sick of the thumping.
  
  A large metallic door is to the west. It's got no sensor on this side, so you can probably just walk back through it.
  
  You can also see some nerds here.
  
  "...How I do it, idiot."
  
  "Who?"
  
  > Sword
  You can't see anything here like that, or changeable into that.
  
  Someone shows how he cut down a stupider disputer. Others agree, eager.
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > look at the sheath
  It's a dull grey, with the words FOR GREAT QUIETNESS inscribed in some Gothic font.
  
  "...butler I rebuilt!"
  
  > scan tulip
  "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting to get different results!" one of them says. Stiff high-fives follow all around.
  
  Someone blames the dim-led middle for This Whole Mess.
  
  > go west
  (first opening the metallic door)
  The door slides open as you step near it.
  
  This is some sort of seedy underground intersection with a train station south. You can also go north to what looks like a camp. You see the down escalator you came by. A building to the west advertises itself as The Ol' Hotel.
  
  A large metallic door is to the east. It has a warning graphic repelling any old riff-raff from entering. There's also a sensor off to the side.
  
  > scan tulip
  The slider makes no noise.
  
  The metallic door slides shut.
  
  > look at the keycard
  It's plain and metallic, with a barcode that might help with optical scanners.
  
  > Go east
  You hear an even worse noise as you walk across the tracks. You run back across where you can reflect how it would be nice if you had a weapon in that sheath.
  
  > take the bottle
  Trust me. You don't need it.
  
  > sit
  (on the the slider's screen)
  That's not something you can sit down on.
  
  > sit on Mattress
  On that mattress? Eww.
  
  > Sword
  The words go slippery, claiming they didn't mean themselves, giving passive-aggressive threats. But it is too late--they fade, and a sword appears materially.
  
  You sensibly put the sword--as slippery as the final words--into your sheath.
  
  > go east
  Er, Train Terrain
  You're in a train station. The tracks are east and, it seems, so is the noise--it's louder here than anywhere else. You suspect the darkness to the east is where your destiny lies.
  
  You could go back north, and there's a fuzzy looking wall to the west, too. You notice pointed art and a faded ad on it, but the small recess near the top seems more useful. A rail is to the east--it's no longer sparking.
  
  Your lit-up tulip gives a welcoming anemic glow. You're ready to tackle whatever's lying craven in the cavern.
  
  You're in a formerly dark passageway that houses the force responsible for all the pain in the metropolis. You feel like a movie star, with the beats pulsing in the background to lead you on to defeating--oh, wait. The beats ARE what you're trying to defeat.
  
  A siren kicks in, to make things even more head-achingly techno up in here. It's off to your side. It's noisy enough, you're not getting near it.
  
  > examine the siren
  Blue and red and flashing and very loud. You'd love to pound it into a powder.
  
  RRIIEEUUWW. That siren just won't shut up. Man, you just want
  to pound it into a powder.
  
  > Scan siren
  Most of the screen goes blue, then a green dot and red dot bounce left and right across the slider screen, and they eventually wind up like so:
  BBGBR
  
  RRIIEEUUWW. That siren just won't shut up. Man, you just want
  to pound it into a powder.
  
  > Resin
  The siren makes some even more spastic noises before grinding into resin powder. You scoop it up and put some on your hands, which feel sticky now. You feel your chances of defeating the beats has risen, unless you rinse.