text: [Themes: Humor]
  
  > describe your surroundings
  The hallway has thick, plush red carpet which always tickles your toes a little bit. It goes quite well with the black, pannelled walls. At the south end is your imposing front door. There are a series of hooks by the door on which you could hang your coat, if you wore a coat that is. A small bin sits by the door. There is also a full-length mirror on one wall. As you're the last sight some people see, it's quite right that you check that you look presentable.
  
  Exits: East, South and West
  
  > go east
  You move east.
  
  You are standing in your kitchen. To this day you can't think why you made this room into a kitchen. You don't actually eat. The back window, over the kitchen sink, looks out into the void. The washing machine sits against one wall and a wooden table in the centre of the room. It has only a single chair. You don't get any visitors. On one wall there is a cork pinboard in the shape of an elephant (with the words Don't Forget! playfully inscribed on it). There are several notes pinned to it.
  
  Exits: West
  
  > look at the washing machine
  You gave up trying to wash your own robes a long time ago. It's just easier to take them to a dry cleaner.
  
  > open the washing mashine
  Open what?
  
  > look at the notes
  You scan the notes. - Remember Horse's birthday present!!! -, - Wrote in wrong diary yesterday! Correct it! -, - Get more paper for notes!!! - and - Out of cheese. -  You don't remember writing that last one. There is also a ticket pinned to the board from the dry cleaners in San Fransisco. You left a robe with them for a clean.
  
  > take the ticket
  You unpin the ticket from the board and put it in your pocket.
  
  > look at the window
  You don't really need a window. A hole in the wall would have done just as well. It's never too cold or too hot and you never get any visitors. It just seemed like a good idea at the time...
  
  > examine the sink
  It's a kitchen sink.
  
  > look in the sink
  It's a kitchen sink.
  
  > read ticket
  It's a small piece of paper informing you that Happy Go Lucky Dry Clean in San Fransisco currently has a black dress belonging to a Mr. G. Reaper. The ticket also says Please present ticket to collect item.
  
  > Go west
  You move west.
  
  > Go south
  You move south.
  
  You are standing on a garden path. You don't have a garden so technically it should just be called 'a path'. The path leads through the void of emptiness from your house to the stable where Horse lives.
  
  Exits: North and South
  
  > examine void
  You see nothing special. In fact you don't see anything at all.
  
  > Go south
  You move south.
  
  You are in your stable. Despite your best efforts, the small, rough wooden structure seems more homely than your own house. Horse doesn't eat (or go to the toilet) but in accordance with universal laws the floor is covered in hay and the place smells of horse poo. In one corner is a large whetstone. Fixed to the north wall are the brackets where you rest your scythe when you're not using it.
  
  Exits: North
  
  You can see The Grim Reaper's Scythe.
  
  Horse waits here, looking quite majestic.
  
  > look at the scythe
  Wickedly sharp and imposing, this is your weapon of choice for reaping souls. It's a metaphor for your ability to harvest people from the land of the living, so it doesn't actually need to be a scythe but you find that people expect it. It's the look of the thing. Your Supervisors have gone to the trouble of making it invisible to mortal eyes after that embarrasing incident at JFK airport six months ago.
  
  > take it
  [take The Grim Reaper's Scythe]
  You pick up the Grim Reaper's Scythe.
  
  > look at Horse
  Horse is a skeletal steed. S/He has been your faithful companion from the beginning, whenever that was. It's hard to come across as being noble when you're nothing but a collection of bones held together by some unknown, mysterious force but Horse manages it quite well. An equine skeleton is not something that most people would expect to see, so they don't.
  
  > examine the whetstone
  It's a large whetstone for sharpening blades. You use it to keep your scythe sharp, though you don't really need to bother. It's always as sharp as it needs to be. You just got into the habit of sharpening it every now and then, and you tend to be a very habitual person.
  
  > examine Hourglass
  The grains of sand tell you that you have eleven and a half hours left to complete your contract.
  
  > Sharpen scythe
  You check your scythe. It's sharp enough as it is. No need to waste time sharpening it.
  
  > About you
  You are about six foot five inches tall, dressed in the blackest robes anyone has ever seen. Your hairless, so-pale-it's-almost-translucent skin is stretched across your skull like clingfilm on a billiard ball. Your eyes are about the only thing in this reality that are darker than your robes, and your spindly, gaunt hands protrude from your sleeves like a bunch of chopsticks. You secretly think of yourself as 'quite handsome'.
  
  > examine the list
  The list of your clients for today. It reads...
  
  Lord Nigel McWorthington - Himilayas, Nepal
  
  Ernest Busset - Manchester, England
  
  Jimiyu Wangai - Wajir, Kenya
  
  Agathe Laurent - Paris, France
  
  Splong5b - Nevada, USA
  
  > say nepal to Horse
  You climb on to Horse's back. He/She climbs into the air and you travel, at an incredible speed, to your destination.
  
  Mountain Pass (Himilayas)
  
  You are standing on a thin path that is winding through the snowy, Himilayan mountain range. The view is lovely, but it isn't half chilly here. Your feet are getting cold and the wind is whipping right up your robe. Right in front of you is a huge snowdrift, under which is buried the body of one of your clients - Lord Nigel McWorthington.
  
  Exits: No Exits
  
  Horse waits here, looking quite majestic.
  
  Lord Nigel McWorthington gazed out over the crisp, snowy scene and smiled. He was glad that he'd decided to do this; that he'd decided to celebrate his sixtieth birthday by trekking through the Himilayas. His family had insisted on a surprise party, despite the fact that his doctor had warned them against giving him any sudden shocks. Then again, his doctor had warned him against mountain climbing too. But he wouldn't trade this for anything. The view was splendid and stretched for miles, and it almost made him shake off the nagging feeling that he really should have been at that surprise party. Sure, the family would be disappointed when he didn't show up, but they should have made a better effort to make sure that he wouldn't find out. He wasn't stupid. Leaving the guest list out where he could find it wasn't too clever for a start. But that didn't really explain the feeling. It wasn't guilt but rather something else. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on.
  
  He pushed the feeling back again and looked into the sunshine, lifting his hands above his head. He felt so alive! He almost let out a cry of triumph, but stopped just in time. There's no telling what might cause an avalanche in this part of the world. Just then he heard a rush of wind behind him, he turned and...
  
  ...found himself staring at a skeletal horse, ridden by a tall, ghastly apparition of horror, who seemed to be reading a list...
  
  Lord Nigel McWorthington screamed at the top of his voice and gripped his chest. The scream rebounded off the mountain walls and was suddenly silenced by an ominous rumbling sound from above. He looked up at the avalanche descending rapidly, turned once again to the horrifying apparition and managed the words "You complete and utter..." before he was buried under a crushing weight of snow.
  
  You shrug and climb off Horse. This was clearly Nigel McWorthington, and you suspect that he is (you mean was) the administrative error. Seems that death caught up with him after all. You smile at the double entendre and turn your attention to the scene. To reap his soul you have to get to the body, which is currently under thirty foot of snow. You scratch your head in puzzlement. Why are these things never easy?
  
  Mountain Pass (Himilayas)
  
  You are standing on a thin path that is winding through the snowy, Himilayan mountain range. The view is lovely, but it isn't half chilly here. Your feet are getting cold and the wind is whipping right up your robe. Right in front of you is a huge snowdrift, under which is buried the body of one of your clients - Lord Nigel McWorthington.
  
  Exits: No Exits
  
  Horse waits here, looking quite majestic.
  
  > dig the snowdrift
  With what? Your bare hands? No way.
  
  > say homedepot to Horse
  No-one pays any attention to you.
  
  > say the Manchester to Horse
  You climb on to Horse's back. He/She climbs into the air and you travel, at an incredible speed, to your destination.
  
  Cellar (Manchester)
  
  This is a dark and dank cellar underneath a house in Manchester. The tough, red brick did a good job of containing the blast from the exploded time machine. The remains of said time machine sit in the centre of the cellar, nothing more than a twisted pile of metal and wires. In one corner of the room is a stairwell, in the other a workbench and varied selection of tools and objects that look suspiciously mechanical.
  
  Exits: Up
  
  You can see Ernest Busset's shoe.
  
  Horse waits here, looking quite majestic. Thomas Brewer stands here, looking around the cellar thoughtfully.
  
  "If this works we'll be famous!" chattered Ernest Busset, excitedly.
  
  "That's understating it slightly, Ernest." said Thomas Brewer, sardonically.
  
  "Just think of it, man! Time travel! We'll be...famous!" Ernest Busset could barely contain his excitement.
  
  "Are you sure this will work? I'm not confident myself. I know we've run through the figures a million times but...well, I've just got a bad feeling about this. What if it doesn't work?" Thomas sounded very, very worried.
  
  "Nonsense! This must work! As you said yourself, we've gone through the figures a million times. Now. Stand back."
  
  Ernest sat himself into the contraption. It looked like the cockpit of a glider, surrounded by a mass of wires and bits and pieces of metal. Ernest fiddled with the controls in front of him. They looked like they had been cobbled together from bits and pieces of old games consoles. A digital readout flashed excitedly in front of his eyes.
  
  "Yes, yes. See, that's what I'm talking about. If you're so confident it will work then why are you telling me to 'stand back'?" Thomas did, however, take several large steps backwards as he said this.
  
  "Just in case! Who knows what will happen? Who knows if the field will be purely contained to the machine? I wouldn't want you getting sucked back through time with me! You need to stay here and document our success from this end!" Ernest was idly flipping a switch back and forth.
  
  "See, you're doing it again. 'Who knows what will happen?' Is that supposed to inspire confidence?"
  
  "Just relax, old boy. Think about what you're going to do when we are no longer constrained by time! What will you do with this power?"
  
  "I'm going to go back in time and kill Hitler's parents." Thomas looked grim, his lips set in a firm line. Ernest looked puzzled.
  
  "I wouldn't do that, old boy. That sort of thing would just make Hitler really angry, wouldn't it? I wouldn't have thought he was the sort of fellow you'd want to get on the bad side of."
  
  "No. You've misunderstood." 'Again' Thomas added mentally, "I would kill them before he was born."
  
  "That doesn't make sense, man! I mean, how can they be Hitler's parents until they have had a baby called Hitler? Stands to reason!" said Ernest, cheerfully.
  
  "Never mind," Thomas muttered, "Look. Be careful" he added, surprised at how much he meant it.
  
  "No problem! Just watch this!" Ernest cheered, as he reached out and pushed a button.
  
  There was a whirring noise, which increased in intensity until it ended abruptly in a rather large explosion. Thomas Brewer was thrown back against the far wall, and crumpled to a heap on the floor. He looked up from his prone position to see a tattered, charred shoe fall in front of him.
  "Oh dear." he said, with rather considerable constraint.
  
  He then climbed to his feet and turned to find you watching him from the other end of the room.
  "Oh dear oh dear." he trembles, "Look. Just tell me. Am I dead?"
  You gaze at the List.
  
  "Ith your name Ernetht Buthet?" you intone.
  
  Thomas Brewer looks at you blankly. It's hard enough for a man to be on the verge of humanity's greatest scientific breakthrough and then to suddenly be confronted with the possibility that he might be dead, let alone to find that the Gatekeeper of the Afterlife has a speech impediment.
  
  "I'm sorry, did you say 'Erneth Buffet'? Ummm...Do you mean Ernest Busset?" Thomas brushed himself down. You nod irritably. You've had a lisp for as long as you can remember and it's not your fault. It certainly doesn't make your job any easier. "No. No. I'm Thomas Brewer. Ernest Busset is...oh. Oh no! Oh no! Ernest is dead?" Thomas exclaims, shocked. You nod again.
  
  "Where ith he then?" you ask, looking round the room in annoyance. Thomas grins and points at the charred heap of metal in the centre of the room.
  
  "I think the question really should be 'when is he?' We built a time machine, he and I did. And as there's no sign of a corpse I'm guessing that it worked! It worked! Do you realise what this means?" Thomas was jubilant, forgetting the situation for a moment.
  
  You shrug. You personally suspect that it means that they won't be selling anything other than one-way tickets but you say nothing.
  
  "Ha! He might have survived! You can't know for certain!"
  
  You sigh. You've had to recover your clients from some very strange places in the past, but never a different time. There has to be a way to solve this one.
  
  Cellar (Manchester)
  
  This is a dark and dank cellar underneath a house in Manchester. The tough, red brick did a good job of containing the blast from the exploded time machine. The remains of said time machine sit in the centre of the cellar, nothing more than a twisted pile of metal and wires. In one corner of the room is a stairwell, in the other a workbench and varied selection of tools and objects that look suspiciously mechanical.
  
  Exits: Up
  
  You can see Ernest Busset's shoe.
  
  Horse waits here, looking quite majestic. Thomas Brewer stands here, looking around the cellar thoughtfully.
  
  > examine the shoe
  A single brown shoe. It's seen better days. Namely days when it hasn't been at the heart of a large explosion.
  
  > take it
  [take Ernest Busset's shoe]
  You pick up Ernest Busset's shoe.
  
  > ask Thomas about the time machine
  "It worked," Thomas smiles, manically "It really worked! Just like he said it would! We will be famous...when he gets back that is. When I've rebuilt the machine..." He looks worried, as if trying to figure out if this task is beyond him.
  
  > examine the tools
  You've never been one for DIY (other than in the scythe department) so you don't have a clue what most of the tools here are even called, let alone what they do. The only things you have any confidence about are a large roll of masking tape and a small magnet. You decide that the magnet might come in useful and slip it into your robe. As you'll still exist when this building has rotted to ruins, all things - in a metaphorical way - belong to you. At least that's what you tell yourself whenever your rampant kleptomania overtakes you.
  
  > take the tape
  Normally you would, but you decide that stealing a magnet is bad enough. You leave the masking tape where it is. If you ever need it then you know where to find it.
  
  > Go upwards
  You move up.
  
  Hallway (Manchester)
  
  You've been in some impressive hallways in your time, but this isn't one of them. It's positively dull, and from someone who has done the same job day after day for millenia that's saying something. It's walls are coated with pink paint, which is in serious need of attention. The flooring is bare wooden boards. There is a telephone table next to the front door, on which is a - shock! - telephone.
  
  Exits: North, South, West and Down
  
  > examine the telephone
  It's a cheap, black plastic telephone with little number buttons that you push.
  
  > go to the north
  You move north.
  
  Bathroom (Manchester)
  
  You have no need of a bathroom so you never feel comfortable about what goes on in one. This means that you never feel comfortable standing in one. The lino under your feet is worn and in need of repair and the tiled walls are covered with mildew and mould. The kindest thing that you could say about the mirror is that it isn't broken, and the sink only has one tap. As for the bath - well, it's a great advert for fitting a shower. And you daren't even look at the toilet...
  
  Exits: South
  
  > examine the toilet
  I said YOU DAREN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE TOILET!
  
  > examine the mirror
  You look into the mirror. In this room, even your reflection looks dirty.
  
  > Go south
  You move south.
  
  Hallway (Manchester)
  
  You've been in some impressive hallways in your time, but this isn't one of them. It's positively dull, and from someone who has done the same job day after day for millenia that's saying something. It's walls are coated with pink paint, which is in serious need of attention. The flooring is bare wooden boards. There is a telephone table next to the front door, on which is a - shock! - telephone.
  
  Exits: North, South, West and Down
  
  > Go south
  You move south.
  
  Living Room (Manchester)
  
  The living room is as grotty as the rest of the house. The wallpaper and carpets are clearly refugees from the era when flares were fashionable the first time round. The floor is covered in scientific papers and engineering sketches. Two sleeping bags lie, rolled out, in the far corner of the room. A window, with one pane boarded up, gazes out onto a Manchester high street. This is the kind of living room where you could imagine someone sitting and saying "You call this living?".
  
  Exits: North
  
  > look at the papers
  You don't see anything that will help you.
  
  You shuffle through the pages. Some of the papers and drawings make perfect sense to you (such as the angry red bill from the telephone company  threatening to cut off service, or the sketched picture of a man with an arrow through his head) but most of them are gibberish. There are equations and diagrams that you can't even begin to understand. It takes you a few minutes but you eventually sort some of the more important looking ones to one side. They form a small pile of paperwork that seem to detail some of the most significant facts concerning time travel. You include with them several detailed drawings of the machine that Ernest and Thomas built. Having done this you file your collection of paperwork into one of the pockets in your robe. This stuff might help you get your scythe on Ernest's soul.
  
  > examine the sleeping bags
  Sleeping bags that belonged, you guess, to Thomas and Ernest. They don't look like they've been slept in much. They've obviously made a lot of sacrifices in trying to build the machine. You shake your head, wondering if this passion for knowledge was worth it.
  
  > Go north
  You move north.
  
  Hallway (Manchester)
  
  You've been in some impressive hallways in your time, but this isn't one of them. It's positively dull, and from someone who has done the same job day after day for millenia that's saying something. It's walls are coated with pink paint, which is in serious need of attention. The flooring is bare wooden boards. There is a telephone table next to the front door, on which is a - shock! - telephone.
  
  Exits: North, South, West and Down
  
  > Go west
  You move west.
  
  Kitchen (Manchester)
  
  It's a filthy kitchen, and vastly underequipped for it's purpose.
  Your kitchen might be nothing special but at least you keep it clean, and you don't even prepare food in it. The people who use this kitchen are playing the odds. The worksurfaces are covered with dirt and bits of food. There are three rusty old garden chairs against one wall, a cooker and a cupboard against another.
  
  Exits: East
  
  > open the cupboard
  You open the cupboard. Inside is a tin of beans, some rice and a packet of After Eight mints. A varied diet, it seems.
  
  > take the mints
  Compared to the other items in the cupboard, the still-sealed packet of After Eights is a luxury item. You would feel bad about taking them.
  
  > take the beans
  A tin of economy beans. As tempting as it is, you resist the lure of the tin.
  
  > Go east
  You move east.
  
  Hallway (Manchester)
  
  You've been in some impressive hallways in your time, but this isn't one of them. It's positively dull, and from someone who has done the same job day after day for millenia that's saying something. It's walls are coated with pink paint, which is in serious need of attention. The flooring is bare wooden boards. There is a telephone table next to the front door, on which is a - shock! - telephone.
  
  Exits: North, South, West and Down