text: [Themes: Children's, witch]
  
  > go down
  You tiptoe down the stairs into the cellar. It certainly is dark down here....
  
  Cellar (in pitch darkness)
  You can't see anything in here, apart from the dim outline of the stairs leading back up.
  
  > go south
  This boxy little room is furnished in a fussy, old-fashioned style. The one modern touch is a wide-screen TV, with a couch facing it. A low coffee table sits in front of the couch, and a fireplace is set in another wall. There's a door to the south, and the open doorway to the hall is on the north.
  
  On the mantel is a framed photo. On the coffee table are a yellow book and a remote control.
  
  > examine the control
  The remote is studded with buttons, but two of them are especially large and appear well-thumbed. One is red, the other blue. Around the back is a sort of plastic hatch cover.
  
  > examine the fireplace
  The fireplace has an artificial gas log in it, and a mantel above.
  
  > look at log
  The gas log is gray. Its bark is wrinkled in an unconvincing way.
  
  > look at the buttons
  The main buttons of interest are the red button marked ON and the blue button marked CHAN.
  
  > examine table
  The coffee table is made of dark wood. On the coffee table are a yellow book and a remote control.
  
  > Examine book
  The book is a thick paperback with a yellow cover. It's entitled Spell-Casting for Dummies.
  
  > take remote
  You pick up the remote control.
  
  > open the remote
  Opening the remote control reveals an AA battery.
  
  > read the book
  (first taking the yellow book)
  As you open the book, a piece of paper falls out and flutters to the floor.
  
  > take the battery
  You pick up the AA battery.
  
  > put the battery in the flashlight
  You put the battery in the flashlight and close it.
  
  > take the paper
  You pick up the piece of paper.
  
  > take all
  framed photo: You pick up the framed photo.
  wide-screen TV: The wide-screen TV is too heavy.
  couch: The couch is too heavy.
  coffee table: The coffee table is too heavy.
  
  > examine couch
  The couch, which is easily long enough for you to lie on, is set facing the wide-screen TV. It's covered in a rather depressing shade of brown leather, which has become more than a little shiny in some places, and scuffed in others.
  
  > turn on the tv
  It looks like you have to use the remote to do that.
  
  > open the flashlight
  Opening the small flashlight reveals an AA battery.
  
  > close flashlight
  Closed.
  
  > get the paper
  You are already carrying the piece of paper.
  
  > examine paper
  On the piece of paper someone has written, in block capitals with a stubby pencil, the phrase "THE MIND POWER OF GLAMOROUS HAIR CLUSTERS." Below this is another phrase, which oddly enough is total gibberish: "JAH ZQSU WDYHF DI OKGZDFDPX AGQF TKPXJHFX."
  
  > look at the green wig
  The green wig is a mass of greasy green ringlets. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: TGPXH XKHHW.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying a small flashlight (providing light), a glass (full of water), a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, and a framed photo.
  
  > read the book
  There's an index at the back of the book, where you might be able to look up specific topics if any interest you. Ignoring the index for the moment, you flip through the book at random, and encounter a recipe for a love potion, the principle ingredients of which seem to be onions and vacuum cleaner lint.
  
  > look up toads
  (in the yellow book)
  The yellow book doesn't seem to have much to say on that subject -- nothing you can find in the index, at any rate.
  
  > read the index
  There's an index at the back of the book, where you might be able to look up specific topics if any interest you. Ignoring the index for the moment, you flip through the book at random, and encounter a numbingly complex description of Polynesian astrology, complete with pages of smudgy diagrams.
  
  > look up wig
  (in the yellow book)
  You thumb through the index. There's nothing under "wigs," but purely by chance you spot an entry for "garments, magical, uses of." This section of the book proves to be devoted almost entirely to full-page, exotically lighted photos of pointed black hats with wide brims -- but a short paragraph reveals that the working of a spell usually requires both the wearing of a magically enhanced garment and the performance of some other action, such as shooting off firecrackers or plucking the feathers from a recently deceased chicken.
  
  > look up the sleep
  (in the yellow book)
  You thumb through the index and find a listing for "sleep, inducing." On the indicated page, the book explains that to put someone to sleep, you need to be wearing a magically prepared garment or head-covering and chant a brief incantation while wielding the Sign of the Scarlet Fish. Unfortunately, the incantation is written in an alphabet you've never seen before, although it may be in the same script as the writing on the hairbrush. It looks rather like Arabic, but with a lot more squiggles.
  
  > look up wheeled vehicles
  (in the yellow book)
  You thumb through the index and after hunting for a bit, find a listing for "vehicles, wheeled, causing to swerve." The indicated page seems to have been torn out, however.
  
  > look up rain
  (in the yellow book)
  You thumb through the index and find a listing for "rain, summoning." On that page, the book explains that rain can be induced to fall by wearing a garment or head-covering imbued with the proper power while pouring water on the ground and holding a bamboo stick. The spell for adding this power to an ordinary garment is quite intimidatingly complex, sad to say, and requires several ingredients that you not only don't have but have never even heard of.
  
  > look up locking
  (in the yellow book)
  You thumb through the index and find a listing for "locks, magical." On that page is printed the following verse:
  
  To free the lock that I was glad
  To conjure up when rightly clad.
  
  > look at the blond wig
  The hair of the blond wig sticks straight out, as if it's made of clumps of straw. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: XPZZDS FGQS.
  
  > check what you're carrying
  You are carrying a small flashlight (providing light), a glass (full of water), a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, and a framed photo.
  
  > look at the auburn wig
  The auburn wig is short and balloon-shaped. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: ZGBH YAHHKHU EHAQTKHX XYHFEH.
  
  > examine the green
  The green wig is a mass of greasy green ringlets. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: TGPXH XKHHW.
  
  > examine black
  The black wig is very long, and the curls are tangled. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: ZGOQTGK KDTBQSO.
  
  > Play score
  The score is far too complex for you to cope with -- hemisemidemiquavers by the bushel!
  
  > play ocarina
  You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The front door vibrates for a moment in a dull, heavy way, as if it's becoming darker and more massive.