text: [Themes: Fantasy, Satire]
  
  > go to the south
  You're standing about halfway down a long north-south hall. Specks
  of red minerals in the black marble floor catch the pale green lamplight, glinting eerily. A growing and ever-present feeling of evil permeates the hall, seeming to throb with diabolical intensity.
  
  Further down the hall to the south, you can just make out a dim
  light. A low humming noise echoes down the hall from the north, just barely audible.
  
  > put the cube in the box
  Which box do you mean, the blue box, or the Geiger counter?
  
  > look at the cage
  Which cage do you mean, the metal cage, or the gilded cage?
  
  > Go south
  The hall terminates before a great open doorway to the south. The doorway is finished in solid silver streaked with ebony, and carved in the shape of a gigantic snaggletoothed mouth. It's quite a disconcerting image, especially since beyond the doorway is only darkness. A narrow hallway runs west, and a wooden door to the east is closed. From the west, you can see a faint reddish glow and you can hear gruff, demonic voices arguing. You could also travel up the hallway to the north.
  
  > examine the door
  The wooden door to the east is strengthened with iron bands, and looks quite sturdy. A single word has been carved into the door with a knife, or perhaps a claw (!)  - it reads "Nursery." It's closed and locked.
  
  > go west
  The walls of this rectangular chamber are hung with red and black curtains, depicting the triumph of nasty Unnkulians over pitiful, scraggly Valley Warriors. The floor is bone white marble streaked with blood-red minerals, iron ore and granite. A giant pentacle-shaped table stands in the very center of the chamber. There's what appears to be a heating duct at the very top of the chamber in the northern wall. A dim glow from strange panels in the ceiling illuminates the room with a ruddy glow. The only exit is back to the east.
  
  Squatting around the table are five monstrous demons. You recognize them from the paintings of Valley artists - the demon lords of Unnkul! On the right, Ug'lee Ist, the six-headed Warlord, commander of the military demons. To the left, Gher'ee Phahl-wil, the Bishop of the false prophets of Unnkul. Between them, the other three lords, all unbearably evil, all unbearably powerful - all staring at you. The Demon Wizard Dug'heh-neng leers in your direction, stroking the scraggly hairs on his upper lip. "The ways of my Magic are most Unnkul," he growls, gesturing with a slender claw. Suddenly your insides are on the outside -
  
  > go to the south
  You're standing on the edge of a pool of bubbling lava. The molten rock bubbles up through cracks deep in the earth, eating away at the sandstone walls. The pool stretches out before you. It's rather hard to breathe here; the room is filled with a haze of sulpher fumes and steam. The only safe path is back to the north.
  
  > examine the pool
  The pool of molten rock fills the chamber. There's no way to tell how deep it is. It looks like there might be a slight undertow to the south, but it's hard to tell.
  
  > Metal
  I don't know how to enter the metal cage.
  
  The blue box stops whirring.
  
  > go to the south
  "I've already looked in there, Hobson," the scientist mutters.
  
  This tiny chamber is obviously the supply closet for the scientist's lab. There's not much of interest except a wooden shelf along the southern wall. The only exit is back to the north.
  
  You see a pair of erasers here.
  
  > Go north
  gadgets. A long stone table lines the western wall, a strange bicycle stands in the very center of the room, an odd blue box stands in the northwest corner, and a large metal cage stands against the eastern wall. Passages run northeast and south.
  
  A pile of debris is sitting on the stone table.
  
  There's a strange old man here, rummaging through the stuff on the table. From the chemical stains on his hands and clothes you guess he must be a scientist. He glances at you briefly. "Ah, there you are, Hobson," he says. "Have you seen my stirring rod? I've lost the blasted thing."
  
  > go south
  You're standing in a gloomy domed chamber. Black tapestries hang on the walls and shadows lurk in every corner. The southern wall is a great curved window, overlooking a deep chasm. Further south, through the window, you can see a beautiful rainbow bridge spanning the chasm. Below, a molten river of lava flows through the rock, carving the gorge from the living rock. It's an amazing sight. A massive ebony throne stands in the very center of the chamber, facing south. The only exit from the chamber is back to the north.
  
  > look at the window
  The curved window takes up the entire southern wall of the chamber.
  The view of the underworld beyond is incredible.
  
  > examine the bridge
  Yep, it's quite a view. You'd have to get closer to examine it more closely.
  
  > look at the throne
  The ebony throne is quite large and quite beautiful. It's covered with carvings of demonic figures engaged in various Unnkul acts. It faces south.
  
  > examine the tapestries
  The tapestries are solid black and not especially interesting. The Demons of Unnkul may be "dam tuff" but they sure don't know how to decorate.
  
  > look at the window
  The curved window takes up the entire southern wall of the chamber.
  The view of the underworld beyond is incredible.
  
  > look at the doorway
  Which doorway do you mean, the wooden door, or the gigantic mouth?
  
  > Mouth
  It's quite artistic, and quite disturbing.
  
  > knock on wooden
  You rap loudly on the door. From behind, you hear the sound of small children giggling, but soon, all's quiet once again.
  
  > Unlock wooden with the iron
  Which wooden do you mean, the wooden door, or the oar?
  
  > look at the man
  From the position of the man's body, it appears that he fell down the stairs - a simple tragic accident.
  
  > Go upwards
  a deep metal shaft. From deep in the bowels of the earth, an intense white light shines up the shaft, nearly blinding you. The humming noise you heard downstairs is louder here, and heat washes over you from below.
  
  Underneath you, through the catwalk, you can see the control room.
  A narrow metal stair leads down to the chamber, and the catwalk curves around the shaft to the southwest and southeast.
  
  > open the grate
  You kick open the grate, revealing the chamber below. Seated around a pentacle-shaped table are the five demon lords of Unnkul, the most powerful creatures known! They look up at you, fixing you with beady demon-eyes. You feel a bit exposed. You feel even more exposed a moment later, when the demon lords pull you from the crawl space and skin you like a rabbit -
  
  > put the insulation in the lava
  You drop the mass of insulation in the pool of molten rock. It slips beneath the lava, lost forever.
  
  > look at the pocket
  The pocket of the robe is quite tattered, and hanging by just a few threads. In the pocket you see a bronze ring, a brass lamp (providing light), a lump of gold, a gilded cage, a brown book, a jade figurine, and a tiny bottle of pills.
  
  > go east
  You're standing in a carved square chamber with an arched roof.
  Stairs climb up to the northwest, and bright sunlight filters down, bathing the room in a pale yellow glow.
  
  To the west, a great iron door has been opened, revealing a damp,
  dark passage plunging deeper into the earth. Passages run north and southwest as well.
  
  > give the wand to the scientist
  The old man's eyes light up. "Ah, thank you." He pulls a beaker from under the debris on the table and stirs it with the wand. The liquid inside the container turns bright mauve. "Dear me," the scientist murmurs, scratching his head. "That's not right at all. I must have left the froogle-juice back in our own time. Watch the lab, Hobson - I'll be back in a moment." The scientist hops on the stationary bike and starts pedalling. "And check the reactor, will you?" the scientist shouts, waving to you. "One of those damned Unnkulian brats tossed his ball down there, and it's fouling up the cooling system."
  He stabs a button on his wristwatch. "I've opened the emergency elevator at the bottom. Be careful! Don't forget to shut the reactor down first!"
  
  Suddenly, there's a blinding flash of light. When the spots vanish from in front of your eyes, both the scientist and the bicycle are gone!
  
  > Go west
  You'll have to open the door first.
  
  > Go southwest
  gadgets. A long stone table lines the western wall, an odd blue box stands in the northwest corner, and a large metal cage stands against the eastern wall. Passages run northeast and south.
  
  A pile of debris is sitting on the stone table.
  
  > enter the shaft
  Entering the shaft with all the heat and light is certain suicide.