text: [Themes: Cave crawl, Humor, fantasy, cave, humor]
  
  > look around
  An extremely bright light comes from this cave's only exit to the east. It is terribly hot here. The intolerable temperature is almost certainly caused by the red-hot stone oven standing in a corner.
  A stone table stands in the middle of the cave. Round it stands a stone throne with an old troll, a stone chair with a tall troll, a stone stool with a short troll, and a large stone. The trolls look a bit like humans made of stone, though with no necks, bigger jaws, smaller eyes and huge arms and hands. They are playing some kind of card game.
  A golem, a man crudely made from stone, is standing here unmoving. Some runes have been chiseled into his chest.
  
  You can see a stone saxophone here.
  
  > Go east
  This cave has exits to the north, east, south and west.
  A stone pedestal as tall as you stands in a corner. A knife is planted in it, hilt up.
  
  A diamond the size of your chest lies in the middle of the cave. A tremendous light shines out from it and fills the entire cave.
  
  > Go east
  An extremely bright light comes from an exit to the west. There is another exit to the northeast. Someone has chiseled gaps into the cave wall, forming a primitive ladder leading up to a hole in the ceiling.
  A table made from human skulls stands near the northeast exit. On the table stands a shimmering pink translucent cube and a small, rusty, holy grail.
  A small round stage stands close to the table. It is apparently made from human faces frozen in terrible screams.
  A small flamingo-headed man sits behind the table in a comfortable-looking armchair covered in obviously fake giraffe fur. He is wearing a jester's suit, including a ridiculous hat with bells on. He is staring at the pink cube.
  An armadillo-headed woman in a white toga sits next to him on a barstool made from green shimmering flames. She is reading a slim gray book called "Schrodinger's Goldfish: Confirmation of Negative Time".
  A cat-headed man sits next to her on a throne draped in black leather, with numerous spikes sticking out of it. He is tall, fat and dressed in a black leather jacket, black jeans and black leather boots.
  
  > hit the flamingo with the staff
  (the flamingo-headed man with the staff)
  You hit the flamingo-headed man with the staff. He giggles and says, "Magic doesn't work on gods."
  
  > shoot the healing gun at the flamingo
  (the flamingo-headed man)
  You pull the trigger. A white ray shoots out of the gun and hits the flamingo-headed man. Noting happens. He giggles and says, "Magic doesn't work on gods."
  
  > shoot the healing gun at the donkey
  You pull the trigger. A white ray shoots out of the gun and hits the donkey. It looks surprised. The barbarian says: "Look, the wound on the side of the donkey, the one it got from that giant slug, it is gone."
  
  > sell the healing gun to the barbarian
  (the barbarian)
  "That's not a proper treasure!"
  
  > shoot the barbarian with the healing gun
  (the barbarian with the healing gun)
  You pull the trigger. A white ray shoots out of the gun and hits the barbarian. "Huh?" he says. He looks down at himself. "Grirgr's scars! They are gone! Darnit, they made Grirgr look really cool!"
  
  > go northeast
  This cave has an exit leading outside to the southwest. In the middle of the ceiling, high above you, is a round hole. On the floor, directly under the hole, is a pile of hay.
  A short lever with a handle sticks out from a wall. The handle has a thin, wide gap, large enough for the fingers of one hand to go through. A metallic pyramid, about half a meter high, sticks up from the cave floor. You once tested a hundred different teleporters, and you recognize the pyramid as one of the safest and least complicated models. To use it you just stand on it and shake the lever repeatedly. This particular teleporter seems badly designed though: the lever is far away from it, almost on the other side of the cave.
  
  You can hear a low humming coming from the teleporter.
  
  Up from the lever sticks the new magical sword from Adventurer's Emporium. According to the commercial it will start to vibrate when you are close to danger. It is shaking like crazy, but not enough to shake the lever.
  
  You can see a cage here.
  
  The sword goes even crazier and starts thrashing like a headless chicken on drugs.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The sound from the teleporter gets louder.
  
  > get on the teleporter
  You get on the teleporter.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The sound gets even louder. A few electrical sparks shoots up from the teleporter. Your feet tickle.
  
  > Wait
  Time passes.
  
  The sword makes the lever shake. The teleporter starts shaking and smoking. The cave begins to fade out around you, and another cave fades in.
  
  This cave has an exit to the east. In the middle of the floor is a round hole.
  A huge dead monster lies here, its four feet in the air. It has a stupid-looking face on a round gray hairless body. Its tiny eyes stare at nothing. The upper half of a dead pointy-eared elf is sticking out of its mouth. It looks like the monster choked on the elf. The elf is wearing a backpack.
  
  You look down at yourself. You seem unsubstantial, like a ghost. Slowly you begin to take on a more solid form. Now you look normal.
  
  > hit the monster with the staff
  Nothing happens. Guess it only works with the living.
  
  > read 80
  It is a Gloov. The Gloov has no brain, and steals all its thoughts from other creatures. If a mosquito thinks about sucking your blood, the Gloov might also try to suck your blood, which would be bad, considering it is bigger than a horse. If it is near a bird that thinks about flying, the Gloov might end up crushing someone, as it has no wings. To get rid of it, think very hard about running away or bashing your head against a rock.
  
  > take the backpack
  Some of the monster's teeth stick through the lower half of the backpack, and thus the backpack is stuck.
  
  > open the backpack
  That's already open.