Three-Card Trick
Chandler Groover
cards cover art easy family female protagonist Inform 7 magic magician parser present tense RVExpo second person short Spring Thing 2016 Spring Thing Game walkthrough Xyzzy Awards 2016
You're going to perform a three-card trick or your name isn't Morgan the Magnificent.
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They said that it couldn't be done. Or anyway, they said that if it could be done that nobody could do it, which amounts to the same thing.

But then somebody went ahead and did it.

Not the two-card trick. Oh no. That's last season. Everyone was amazed, and everyone definitely should have been amazed. It was amazing, after all. Odds beaten. Minds boggled. Hearts won. You went to lengths that no one would ever imagine, which is just how you'd like to keep it. Keep them guessing. Keep your reputation, too, as the most famous prestidigitator around here.

Well, that's not going to happen. Not unless you do something about this new upstart. Everyone thinks that he must have some talent or skill that you don't.
skill that you don't.Poppycock!

You know exactly what he's got, and soon enough it's going to be yours. Talent and skill aren't anywhere in the picture. It would take something much more than that to perform what he's started to pompously call his…
pompously call his Three-Card Trick

You've been sitting here for ages and there's no interest. On the table your cards are stacked neatly and gathering dust. All right, they're not actually gathering dust, but they're drawing more
dust than they are spectators. In fact, it's safe to say that you won't be receiving any attention as long as Ivan's still in business. You've been watching patrons stream into his tent all afternoon.

It's time to put an end to that. March right out there, confront the charlatan.
You examine medal
When Lady Gascogne first pinned this medal to your jacket, it meant that you were actually magnificent. But that was last season. Now the medal's started to blacken and Lady Gascogne's tastes have turned toward three-card tricks instead.
You read the notice
It's a sign that says 'Out to Lunch' in cursive lettering.
You have no plans to go to lunch. Nobody ever does who uses signs like these. But it's the traditional excuse to slip away.
You look
At the Exposition (in your booth (on your chair))
You're sitting behind your table with your cards stacked before you, but you're not attracting any spectators.

Outside you can see Ivan's tent across the exposition floor.
You put down the sign
You haven't had any spectators today, and that won't change without some subterfuge. But you still set an 'Out to Lunch' sign on
your table before leaving. Just in case.
You examine the compass
Not a normal magnetic compass by any measure. This baby's astrologically attuned. Rather than pointing north, it points toward the nearest nexus. Pragmatically speaking, that means you can easily find your way around the exposition by walking inward to its
center or outward away from it.

You don't want to think about what you had to do to get this compass.
You get up
You rise from your chair.
You go outside
Ah yes, the exposition, where fortunes are made and unmade every season. It's a madhouse, jammed with prospective magicians at their stalls. They stretch outward as far as you can see. But there's a hidden order involved: if you look overhead, you can study the stars through the ceiling's glass dome, and the exposition's floorspace is aligned to their constellations. You know, sacred geometry. That's why it's a big deal that your booth is at the center (where you belong), and that Ivan's tent is there too (where he does not).

There's a crowd at his tent. You can't help but eavesdrop.

"I never saw anything like that in my life!" one lady says. "How
does he do it?"

"I can't imagine," says another. "It defies comprehension…"
You look at ivan's tent
One word to describe Ivan's tent? Ostentatious. It's like a little bigtop striped silver and gold, and there's a flag over the entrance with 'Ivan the Incredible' plastered across it in the largest
font that could be crammed onto the fabric. Tacky, that's another word. Ugly. Tasteless. Vulgar. You could keep going.
You enter the ivan's tent
You shoulder your way through the crowd. Ladies step aside with disapproving gasps.

At the Exposition (in Ivan's tent)
Inside the tent, more ladies continue to part as you pass, dividing like curtains to reveal the spectacle ahead: Ivan sitting at his table with some starstruck ingénue standing nearby. She's got one hand clamped to her mouth like she can't believe what just happened, and the other ladies are applauding. Meanwhile Ivan is reshuffling his deck with a smile on his face that you would love to wipe
away.

"Why, goodness gracious!" he exclaims when he sees you. "Morgan the Magnificent! Come to pay your respects, have you, my dear? I don't suppose there's much demand for two-card tricks these days… it must
be
lonely over in that little booth."

Everyone is staring now. The timing's right. You waited until this moment to talk to Ivan, and it's going to pay off in spades. It had better pay off.
You talk to Ivan
"You're a fraud," you tell Ivan. "A shyster. A crook. There's no way you could do a three-card trick. You're just suckering these suckers. And you call yourself Ivan the Incredible. More like Ivan the Imposter!"
You examine Ivan
Hmm, well, that didn't quite land. Things sound better when you say them in your head, but it doesn't matter. All the spectators are scandalized. They're fanning themselves like they've got the vapors, and putting the backs of their hands to their foreheads, and generally swooning. But Ivan just keeps smiling.
You talk to Ivan
"Is that a challenge, my dear?" he asks you, and his voice is like castor oil. "Very well. I'll perform the trick now, and if I'm such a fraud then you'll expose me. How does that arrangement sound?"

"You'll regret it," you tell him.

"We'll see. But first I suppose that you'll want to search my person and my table and my cards? Go right ahead. I have nothing to hide. Nothing up my sleeve, as we magicians say."

He rises and opens his arms in a gesture that means: Try your best, you won't win.
You examine table
Running your hands over the tabletop reveals nothing unusual. Nor does running your hands below the table, or crouching to study its underside, or looking behind it. It is, for all intents and purposes, a perfectly mundane piece of furniture.

"I could perform with any table," Ivan boasts.
You search Ivan
full advantage while you can. There's nothing too
inconsequential for your attention. You pat him down and turn his jacket out. You reach into his pockets. You look inside his top hat. You even pull open his mouth to examine his teeth. Your fingers are everywhere.

"Heavens me!" Ivan says when you're done. "I don't think that an autopsy would uncover anything you just didn't."
You look at the cards
Before Ivan touches this deck again, you're going to make sure that it's shuffled thoroughly. You cut the cards and riffle them.
They arc between your hands. Red and black diamonds, clubs, hearts, spades. Fluttering waterfalls. What you're doing is its own performance, but of course everybody looks bored. You're not
the star today. At least when you smack the deck back onto the table, you know there's no way that it's stacked.

"Why, it's almost as though you distrust me!" Ivan says.

That remark, naturally, gets plenty of laughs from the peanut gallery.

Well, you suppose that should do it. Time to finally see Ivan's trick.
You search the ivan's sleeves
You pry open Ivan's sleeves, stare into them, feel their satin lining, roll them up and down, scrunch their fabric between your fingers. Not only that, but you feel Ivan's wrists, his arms, his hands.

You find nothing.

"What did I tell you?" he says, and the ladies in the tent murmur with awe, as if he's already performed some miracle.
You look
At the Exposition (in Ivan's tent)
Adoring ladies are clustered around Ivan at his table.
You talk to Ivan
"All right," you say. "I'm satisfied. But I'm going to watch you
like a hawk."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Ivan replies.

He returns to his chair and the spectating ladies herd closer to see. They're a circle and you're in their center, pressed up to the table as Ivan wiggles his fingers in the air. Every wiggle produces a new "Ooh!" and "Aah!" from the crowd, despite the fact that he hasn't
done anything yet. Talk about easy to please.
You continue
He draws the top card from his deck and places it face-down on the table.
You continue
One.
Keep going
He draws the next card from his deck and places it face-down on the table.
Continue
Two.
Continue
You can feel the suspense in the tent. Everyone holding their breath. All eyes unblinking. Gazes pinned to the table with its two cards laid out beside each other. This is the limit. Nobody's taken the trick further than this. Nobody's taken the trick further than you. But then Ivan reaches for another card…
Keep going
Ivan reaches for another card… as the ladies gasp…
Keep going
Ivan reaches for another card… as the ladies gasp… and he lifts
that
card…
Keep going
card… and places it face-down on the table.
Continue
Three.
Continue
"Pick a card," he says.
You pick a card
(the first card)
You pick a card and hold it to your chest, but Ivan just smiles again.

"I understand, my dear. You're being cautious," he says. "But don't presume that I need anything as common as my eyeballs to see what card you've chosen. My vision runs deeper than that… deep… deep… into
the
mystical abyss where cause births effect and every decision is made. I can see your card naked before me: a paper rectangle emblazoned with glowing iconography! I can see it… see it right there…!"
You wait
What you see is a giant ham. Ivan's rubbing his temples, eyes pressed tightly shut.
Continue
"Mmm, yes, it's coming to me," he intones. "I can see… I can see…
You continue
"Mmm, yes, it's coming to me," he intones. "I can see… I can see… a deuce of clubs!"
Keep going
Now his eyes are open, boring into yours.
You examine the card
You lay a deuce of clubs on the table.
You continue
Applause erupts inside the tent, drowning out everything else. You lost. Ivan won. His devotees rally around him, throwing their arms high, laughing and weeping with joy. Their reaction is almost too much for him to handle. They're ready to cart him around overhead in his chair. It's only after his most humble and
gentlemanly protestations that they relent, but they're still
twirling their parasols and buzzing like bees.

For the moment, you've been forgotten, and it'll take more than a moment for anyone to remember you again. Luckily you came prepared for that. Even luckier, you got what you wanted.
You look
At the Exposition (in Ivan's tent)
Adoring ladies are clustered around Ivan at his table.
You check what you're carrying
You're wearing a tuxedo, a platinum medal, and a top hat, and you're carrying Ivan's key and a compass.
You examine the key
Gold-plated and gaudy, to match Ivan's personality.
You examine the chair
Ivan's chair is just like any other magician's chair, although you feel sorry for the thing for having to come into contact with such a huge ass every day.
You go north
The only way out is, well, out.
Go outside
It takes all your willpower to suppress a smile as you step outside. Your skills at sleight of hand have served you well. And your planning was perfect: with Ivan still distracted in his tent, he'll never notice that his key's gone missing. Until it's too late, anyway.

Initially, to be honest, you were unsure, but now you know
that you're on the right track. And you've got more than a guess about what this key will unlock, and where to find it: underground.
You go downwards
what this key will unlock, and where to find it: underground.At the Exposition
Here at the exposition's center are your booth and Ivan's tent, around which a crowd has gathered.

Outward are more magicians at more stations.
You enter the booth
At the Exposition (in your booth)
An 'Out to Lunch' notice is standing beside your cards on the
table, with your chair pushed back.

Outside you can see Ivan's tent across the exposition floor.
Dig
Digging around here would just be a waste.
You leave
Here at the exposition's center are your booth and Ivan's tent, around which a crowd has gathered.

Outward are more magicians at more stations.
You go outside
You wander out into the exposition.

Stalls and stalls and stalls in rows and rows and rows. They seem to continue forever, although there's a definite limit at their outer edge where the exposition stops, which means there's a limit to how many magicians can perform. That's a problem for any magicians who don't qualify, but it's not your problem, and it's not a
problem for the sightseers bustling through the exposition in huge droves.

There's one sightseer out there whose opinion matters more than anyone: Lady Gascogne. You can't see her now. You just know that she's making the rounds with her eyes peeled for the newest sensation. And that sensation is going to be Ivan the Incredible unless you make sure that it's not.
You examine the stalls
So many magicians in so many stalls. What a sight to behold and what a colossal waste. None of these stalls are aligned properly. Not that anyone knows the difference except you.
Go outside
As you near the exposition's fringe, you can see where its glass dome curves down toward the ground. Beyond that dome's the barricade. Beyond that barricade's the outside world. Guardsmen are patrolling its wall, their arms drawn at perpetual ready, prepared to dispatch uninvited magicians who would try scaling their way inside.

You're not concerned with that. Instead, there's a trapdoor with your name on it over behind a derelict penny arcade.
You examine the arcade
Back in the day, a machine was actually the first 'person' to successfully perform a one-card trick. That led to penny arcades like this being churned out en masse, each equipped with its own
robotic card-dealing magician. But the first machine's success was a fluke. All the penny arcades were useless. Which is why human magicians like you are still around.
Examine dome
You know those bell jars that people use to cover clocks or whatever on their mantelpieces? That's just what this glass dome is like. A gigantic bell jar over the exposition.
Go downward
You open the trapdoor and slip down undetected.

You'll never forget the first time you explored down here. Even with your compass, you were totally lost for hours. Just darkness and garbage and steel columns bracing the ceiling in every direction.

At the moment, you know where you are because the trapdoor's overhead, but it's easy to get turned around (read: inevitable). Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.
You go inside
Identical passageways open to the south, west, north, and east.

Threadbare tuxedoes are mounded around you waist-high.
You go inside
Identical passageways open to the north, south, west, and east.

Moldy satin bouquets carpet the floor.
Go inside
Okay, you're headed in the right direction. You recognize the two skeletons on the ground here from the last time you came through. Not that you thought you would really lose your way again, but
it's still reassuring to find a landmark.

Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.
You go inside
Identical passageways open to the east, south, north, and west.

You have to kick your way through woven baskets packed with ropes.
Enter
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

Wands, wands, wands. Who uses wands? No one. That's why they're dumped here.
You go inside
Finally you reach the center. There's more junk piled here than anywhere else. Swords designed for swallowing, and saws designed to cut ladies in half, and handkerchiefs and pointy hats and cloaks patterned with stars, and cups and balls, and chains and guillotines, and boxes with mirrors in them, and padlocks and lockpicks. Enough miscellaneous garbage to orchestrate a thousand magic tricks.

But what's this? Oho, something new: a steamer trunk sitting
right out in the open. Definitely wasn't there before. Definitely stamped with the initials I.I.
You examine the trunk
Enormous, leather, bound in buckled straps. This is the sort of trunk that people imagine when they think about trunks, not the sort of trunk that anyone actually owns. Except for Ivan. The man
must not know the meaning of the word discretion.
You open the trunk
You open the trunk using Ivan's filched key. It's a cinch. No additional security. No extra obstacles. Like the fool never even expected that he would be robbed. Oiled hinges slide back with a pleasant smoothness as the lid rises, and then you're looking down at the interior.
You examine the trunk
This is what you knew you'd find.
Continue
This is what you knew you'd find. Even still, it takes you
somewhat by surprise.
You continue
Sitting there in the trunk is a pale glistening slab like a raw chicken breast. Maybe calling it a chicken breast doesn't quite paint the picture. It's got arms and legs but they're no more than stubs, and its head is as big as its body. So it's more like two raw chicken breasts that have been slapped together. Its eyes are sunk way back into its head and it's got an itty-bitty toothless mouth. All gums, that toothless mouth. Its stubby arms are wiggling and it's mumbling words that sound more like lip-smacks: "…three of spades… nine of hearts… king of clubs…"
You talk to the trunk
Not much conversation there.
You examine the trunk
Enormous, leather, bound in buckled straps. This is the sort of trunk that people imagine when they think about trunks, not the sort of trunk that anyone actually owns. Except for Ivan. The man
must not know the meaning of the word discretion.

Right now the trunk is open, and Ivan's grandmother is sitting inside mumbling: "…five of hearts… four of spades… king of clubs…"
You talk to the grandmother
So you're Ivan's grandmother, huh? What a pleasure to meet.
You must be so proud of your grandson's success, unless you're aware he's a slimeball and a cheater. But of course you're aware, since he put you down here, made you what you are now. You can't cop to it, though, can't say anything except card ranks and suits, which is why actually interrogating you like this would be pointless.

But it doesn't matter, because you know what Ivan did to his grandmother, whether she has the voice to admit it or not. Just look at her. This is your jurisdiction he's trying to muscle into,
and when his career is over, you'll still reign supreme.
You take the grandmother
Now everything makes sense. Of course Ivan can perform a three-card trick, because he upped the ante by using his grandmother as
a ritual anchor. That's definitely what this is: a grandmother. You wonder why you never considered such a possibility. In retrospect, it's bloody obvious.

What's less obvious is how someone as lunkheaded as Ivan even figured out how to do it. Must've stumbled across a grimoire. He sure as hell didn't struggle like you to personally chart the leylines. You refuse to believe that he's got enough talent. Which is why you feel no compunction whatsoever about taking his grandmother for yourself, and promptly scoop her up. She's slimy and gross but what can you expect.
Go inside
As you hold her in your arms, she groans. She wants to go back inside the trunk, but she's going to go into your chest instead,
which you've hidden beneath the surrounding debris.
You look
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

Miscellaneous magical artifacts clutter the area, but separated from them is a distinctly out-of-place steamer trunk.
You examine the artifacts
Unlike Ivan, you hid your chest well, and it takes some digging before you unearth it from the junk. You can tell that it hasn't been touched since you were here last season. All the locks are still intact. Now you've just got to pull your key out of your top hat to open it.
You search debris
you've just got to pull your key out of your top hat to open it.Suddenly you hear a commotion. It's coming through the ceiling from the exposition. Voices rising in surprise. Exclamations. Shuffling and confusion.
Open chest
You've got to pull your key out of your top hat first.

Now you can hear Ivan's voice. You'd recognize that caster-oil tenor anywhere. You can't make out the words but his tone is unmistakably, deliciously desperate. Defensive. Imploring. If only you could see his face!
You take the key
You already have Ivan's key.

…and now you hear footsteps overhead. Footsteps in a stampede. In an exodus. Eventually they diminish, moving outward, away, until there's only silence left behind.
Search hat
In this racket, all it takes is one mistake. So much for Ivan's popularity.
You take the key from the hat
As though pulling it from the thinnest air, you reach into your top hat and pull out a key. Presto!
Unlock chest
It takes some finesse to unlock your chest and disengage the booby-traps, which is no problem because you've got finesse in your genetics. Also, you're the one who placed the traps. You'd better know how to deactivate them.

The lid pops open, and inside the chest is your mother right where you left her.
You look at the mother
Oh mother dearest, the voice in your ear, the ace up your sleeve, whose whispered words are never wrong. At least, not when it comes to two-card tricks. But three-card tricks? Forget it. She's not operating on the right wavelength, and there's no way to recalibrate her lode. What's done is done. You made that call and there's no going back.

Nowadays she might be outmoded, but she's still crawling around inside your chest like a good little pork tenderloin. Which is what she looks like. Fleshless, flexible, and wet. Wheezing out her predictions: "…three of diamonds… king of diamonds…" When you sit upstairs
inside
your booth, you just have to listen and her forecast slips
into your brain like a drug down a drip.
You put the grandmother in the chest
You lower Ivan's grandmother into your chest, and she takes to it rather nicely, chirping and slapping her stubs around to feel her new environment. She's just happy to be back inside a container.

Your own mother doesn't pay too much notice. Keeps slithering in circles. When she bumps into her housemate, she keeps bumping until she's bumped herself around the obstacle, and Ivan's grandmother hardly registers the contact. The two might as well exist on separate planes. Which, now that you consider it, they probably do to a certain degree.
Close chest
You wipe your hands. Your job is done. All you have to do now is sit on your chair in your booth and listen, and when you deal
three cards out for a trick (which you most certainly will) then you'll hear Ivan's grandmother mumbling predictions in your head, just like she's mumbling now: "…ten of diamonds… three of diamonds…
nine of
diamonds…"
You put the key in the hat
(your key in your top hat)
You drop your key into your top hat and… hey, where did it go? Observe, ladies and gentlemen, as you upend your hat and shake it. Why, nothing comes out! It's as though the key has vanished.
What mystique!
Go outside
Leave without closing your chest? You don't think so.
Close chest
After resetting its booby-traps, you close your chest and lock it. Then you bury it back underneath the accumulated garbage in the area where nobody but you will ever find it.
Leave
Identical passageways open to the east, west, north, and south.

You almost trip over a bunch of handcuffs and manacles tangled together.
You leave
Identical passageways open to the east, north, west, and south.

Your footsteps crunch. No wonder. All these shattered crystal balls.
You go outside
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

Two skeletons lie on the ground.
You examine the skeletons
They're still wearing tuxedoes and top hats, with their boney arms stretched out like they were hoping they could crawl to salvation. Which is probably what they did hope. Thought they could sneak into the exposition without an invite. Got lost down here in the underground instead. Never got out. You'd pity them if you didn't think they had it coming.
Go outside
Identical passageways open to the west, south, north, and east.

Dice and marbles litter the ground like pebbles.
You leave
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

Overhead you can see your old friend, the trapdoor.
Up
You climb back through the trapdoor.

Guardsman are patrolling the barricade outside, and there's a trapdoor behind a derelict penny arcade at the exposition's fringe.

Inward are stalls lining row after row.
You go inside
You wander back into the exposition.

Stalls and stalls and stalls in rows and rows and rows. Sightseers bustle between them.

Outward the exposition eventually ends; inward lies its center.
Go inside
Here at the exposition's center are your booth and Ivan's tent.

Outward are more magicians at more stations.
Enter
You could enter your booth or Ivan's tent.
Continue
You turn to enter your booth but then you stop in your tracks when you see what's there.
Continue
Not a crowd like Ivan had around his tent. No, this is different.
Continue
This is an entourage.
Continue
More ladies in more pastel dresses twirling more parasols, but
higher class ladies with higher class dresses and
parasols whiter than snow. All their noses upturned. All their hats decked with ribbons. And yet despite their cosmopolitan polish they're nothing next to the one woman they follow and imitate like
second-rate mirrors.
Keep going
That would be Lady Gascogne.
You continue
That would be Lady Gascogne. At your booth.
Continue
That would be Lady Gascogne. At your booth. Waiting for you.
You continue
At the Exposition (in your booth)
Lady Gascogne is standing beside your table. Unlike everyone else, she doesn't carry her parasol open. She's holding it like a cane with both palms planted on its handle, but not like a cane that anyone would use to hobble around. Instead it's more like a gavel. One strike from its tip to the ground would make the whole world quake. Hyperbole, of course, but not by much.

"Good, here you are," she says when you enter. "Normally I never wait, but when I saw this 'Out to Lunch' sign, I decided to give
you five minutes. How many are left?"

"Just twenty-nine seconds," her assistant reports next to her.

"Under the wire," says Lady Gascogne.
You take the sign
"Lady Gascogne! Mademoiselles!" you say, sweeping the notice away from your table and settling back into your chair. "What a pleasure to see you all here at this season's exposition! I must apologize. When lunch calls, lunch calls, but I'm honored, enraptured, delighted that you stuck around to see my three-card trick."
You talk to Lady
stuck around to see my three-card trick."Something in the air shifts when you speak those magic words. Voices drop. Heads turn. Every lady is staring as though you're a steak that's been thrown for them to devour. You know this sensation. You've felt it before, last season, when you dealt two cards and Lady Gascogne reached for one. They were ready to swallow you whole if you couldn't guess right. Spit out your bones. Leave you disgraced.
Keep going
"Nobody's performed a three-card trick," says Lady Gascogne. "The man in the tent over there tried to do it and failed. He was a liar. Everyone who said that he could do it, they were liars too. I have no tolerance for lies."

"I'm an honest magician," you tell her. "Only genuine tricks from Morgan the Magnificent!"
You do the trick
What's it take to perform a three-card trick? Six simple steps:

1. Shuffle the deck.
2. Deal a card.
3. Deal a card.
4. Deal a card.
5. Listen.
6. Name the correct card.

Steps two through four are what make it a three-card trick.
Step five is more important than the rest. But step six is what will impress your spectators the most. Easy as pie.
Shuffle deck
Before you shuffle or deal any cards, you've got to talk to Lady Gascogne and offer her the chance to search your belongings. Standard practice.
Shuffle deck
"Of course," you say, "it wouldn't be right to conduct a card trick without a shuffle, whether that's a one-card trick, a two-card trick, or even the marvelous three-card trick you're about to
witness."

Shuffling cards is second nature. You hold the deck in one palm, split its cards, riffle them with your thumbs. Their edges flutter and blend. They bend upward, dovetailing in your hands, and then cascade into a stack when your fingers release. Less than one second. No thought required.

Lady Gascogne doesn't look impressed. Neither does her entourage.
Deal card
Now the stage is set. You can feel motivations and emotions flowing around you. Expectations. Judgements. Hopes. Everything in the exposition gravitating toward your booth, pouring into your cards. They want to be dealt. They are waiting for you to deal them.
Deal card
You take the top card from the deck and place it face-down on the table.
Deal card
You're still in safe territory. Lady Gascogne doesn't react. Her entourage looks indifferent. But the fact is that you've taken the first step and now they're on their toes. They just don't show it yet.
Deal card
When you reach for your deck a second time, you can actually
see attentions sharpening. Bodies drawing closer. Necks
craning to gain a better view. Even Lady Gascogne's gaze is locked onto the cards.
Deal card
Two.
Deal card
Now this trick has gotten serious.
Deal card
Ladies gasp, hands fly to cover mouths, teeth chomp down to bite fingernails when you reach for your deck a third time. You've had no practice, but this has to work. You don't want to imagine
what will happen if it doesn't.
Deal card
what will happen if it doesn't.So you don't imagine it.
Deal card
You put one last card face-down on the table.
Continue
Three.
Continue
That's it. There's no going back. Lady Gascogne's looming over you, hands clamped onto her parasol's handle, weight bearing on that parasol as she leans forward to look at the spread. Her eyes are counting them: one, two, three cards.

But you aren't nervous. You're assured, confident, in control.
You listen
…deuce of clubs… eight of spades…
…nine of clubs… queen of spades… five of hearts…
You talk to Lady
"Pick a card," you tell Lady Gascogne.
Keep going
She stares at you.
Continue
She stares at you. She says nothing.
You continue
She picks a card.
Keep going
The middle card, to be precise. That's important. After she's
done glancing at it, she holds the card where no one else can see, and then she stares at you again.
Continue
"Amaze me," she commands. "What card is this?"
You listen
…queen of hearts… nine of clubs…
…nine of clubs… queen of spades… five of hearts…
Queen of spades
"I hear… I hear… a voice," you say, cupping your ear in the most melodramatic posture that you can manage. "It's whispering… from very far away… across the gaps that yawn between what we call space and time. It's saying something… about royalty… about a queen…"

Everyone else strains to listen, but they can't hear anything.
You talk to her
Everyone else strains to listen, but they can't hear anything. They never will.
Continue
"…I can hear something…
You keep going
"…I can hear something… digging…
Keep going
"…I can hear something… digging… digging in the darkness…
You continue
"…I can hear something… digging… digging in the darkness… in
the
blackness…
Continue
blackness…yes, a black suit…
Keep going
blackness…yes, a black suit… it's a spade…"
Continue
No one breathes. No one moves.
Continue
"You've drawn the queen of spades."
You keep going
Lady Gascogne lays a queen of spades on the table.
You continue
No, these things are obvious. They don't need to be said.
Continue
Now you've got a second platinum medal on your jacket. Lady Gascogne pinned it there after her assistant handed it over. They have a million different medals to distribute, but this one is
yours. No one deserves it more.

"What's next?" asks Lady Gascogne.

"Another exposition," says her assistant. "Jugglers."

"Let's hope that they've improved this season. Two-ball jugglers are so tedious."
You keep going
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how to successfully perform a…
Continue
THREE## -CARD ## TRICK.
Diversions
Did you try...

...listening while sitting in your booth at the beginning?
...playing solitaire while sitting in your booth?
...examining the penny arcade?
...examining the barricade?
...climbing the barricade?
...examining the skeletons underground?
...talking to Ivan's grandmother?
...talking to your mother?
...revisiting Ivan after stealing his grandmother?
...guessing Lady Gascogne's card incorrectly?
...pulling a rabbit out of your hat?

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT, UNDO the last command, or view a few potential DIVERSIONS?
Go inside
Identical passageways open to the east, north, west, and south.

Dice and marbles litter the ground like pebbles.
You go inside
Identical passageways open to the south, west, north, and east.

Stacked caskets skewered with machetes line the shadows.
You go inside
Identical passageways open to the south, north, east, and west.

Moldy satin bouquets carpet the floor.
You go inside
Identical passageways open to the south, east, west, and north.

You can hear people walking on the exposition floor above.
Continue
Sitting there in the trunk is a pale glistening slab like a raw chicken breast. Maybe calling it a chicken breast doesn't quite paint the picture. It's got arms and legs but they're no more than stubs, and its head is as big as its body. So it's more like two raw chicken breasts that have been slapped together. Its eyes are sunk way back into its head and it's got an itty-bitty toothless mouth. All gums, that toothless mouth. Its stubby arms are wiggling and it's mumbling words that sound more like lip-smacks: "…ace of clubs… ten of
spades…
four of hearts…"
Lock trunk
You close Ivan's steamer trunk and lock it again.
You leave
You're not about to walk away without putting Ivan's grandmother where she belongs: in your chest.
You examine the chest
she belongs: in your chest.Suddenly you hear a commotion. It's coming through the ceiling from the exposition. Voices rising in surprise. Exclamations. Shuffling and confusion.
You get the key from the hat
As though pulling it from the thinnest air, you reach into your top hat and pull out a key. Presto!

Now you can hear Ivan's voice. You'd recognize that caster-oil tenor anywhere. You can't make out the words but his tone is unmistakably, deliciously desperate. Defensive. Imploring. If only you could see his face!
You talk to the grandma
So you're Ivan's grandmother, huh? What a pleasure to meet.
You must be so proud of your grandson's success, unless you're aware he's a slimeball and a cheater. But of course you're aware, since he put you down here, made you what you are now. You can't cop to it, though, can't say anything except card ranks and suits, which is why actually interrogating you like this would be pointless.

But it doesn't matter, because you know what Ivan did to his grandmother, whether she has the voice to admit it or not. Just look at her. This is your jurisdiction he's trying to muscle into,
and when his career is over, you'll still reign supreme.

…and now you hear footsteps overhead. Footsteps in a stampede. In an exodus. Eventually they diminish, moving outward, away, until there's only silence left behind.
You examine the rubbish
In this racket, all it takes is one mistake. So much for Ivan's popularity.
You look
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

Miscellaneous magical artifacts clutter the area, but separated from them is a distinctly out-of-place steamer trunk.
You examine the artifacts
Unlike Ivan, you hid your chest well, and it takes some digging before you unearth it from the junk. You can tell that it hasn't been touched since you were here last season. All the locks are still intact.
You examine the chest
A modest chest. Small enough to carry in two hands without hassle. Locked and booby-trapped for good measure.
Open chest
It takes some finesse to unlock your chest and disengage the booby-traps, which is no problem because you've got finesse in your genetics. Also, you're the one who placed the traps. You'd better know how to deactivate them.

The lid pops open, and inside the chest is your mother right where you left her.
You talk to the mother
Hello, mother. Life treating you well? How about these accommodations? Met anyone new recently? We ought to catch up more. We don't see each other as often as we used to. That's because you're locked down in this chest, which is why really asking you these questions
and having a chat would be as useless as talking to a wall.

Yeah, your mother's here, all right, but she's also not. There's a reason that nobody else can perform a two-card trick. There's a reason that Lady Gascogne pinned a platinum medal to your jacket.
There's a reason you deserve it more than anyone. And it's called sacrifice.
You put the grandmother in the chest
You lower Ivan's grandmother into your chest, and she takes to it rather nicely, chirping and slapping her stubs around to feel her new environment. She's just happy to be back inside a container.

Your own mother doesn't pay too much notice. Keeps slithering in circles. When she bumps into her housemate, she keeps bumping until she's bumped herself around the obstacle, and Ivan's grandmother hardly registers the contact. The two might as well exist on separate planes. Which, now that you consider it, they probably do to a certain degree.
Close chest
You wipe your hands. Your job is done. All you have to do now is sit on your chair in your booth and listen, and when you deal
three cards out for a trick (which you most certainly will) then you'll hear Ivan's grandmother mumbling predictions in your head, just like she's mumbling now: "…eight of diamonds… nine of diamonds…
eight
of diamonds…"
You take the rabbit from the hat
As if you'd ever resort to such a tasteless trick. Cards are in right now; rabbits are out.
You go outside
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

You have to kick your way through woven baskets packed with ropes.
Go outside
Identical passageways open to the west, north, east, and south.

Wands, wands, wands. Who uses wands? No one. That's why they're dumped here.
You go outside
Identical passageways open to the north, south, east, and west.

Two skeletons lie on the ground.
You go outside
Identical passageways open to the west, south, north, and east.

Threadbare tuxedoes are mounded around you waist-high.
You climb the barricade
You begin to approach the barricade and... suddenly there's a red bead on your jacket. Another. Another. More beads trained on you as the guards atop the wall pivot in your direction. When they see that you've stopped advancing, they resume their patrol and the red beads disperse.
You examine the penny arcade
You stop holding your breath. Were you holding your breath? What nonsense. The guards only shoot people climbing the wall from
outside. You were never in any danger. Still, you don't know
what put the idea into your head. It's not something you'll try again.
You examine the barricade
There's probably a mob outside that barricade. All the rejected magicians. Protesting. Fighting for entrance. You've seen the mayhem before. People brandishing silk scarves and doves like that'll convince anyone to let them inside. Every season at least a few hundred get shot trying to climb the wall. Good riddance is all you can say.
You examine the penny arcade
Back in the day, a machine was actually the first 'person' to successfully perform a one-card trick. That led to penny arcades like this being churned out en masse, each equipped with its own
robotic card-dealing magician. But the first machine's success was a fluke. All the penny arcades were useless. Which is why human magicians like you are still around.
You go inside
You wander back into the exposition.

Stalls and stalls and stalls in rows and rows and rows. Sightseers bustle between them.

Outward the exposition eventually ends; inward lies its center.
Go inside
Here at the exposition's center are your booth and Ivan's tent.

Outward are more magicians at more stations.
Enter
You could enter your booth or Ivan's tent.
You enter ivan's tent
At the Exposition (in Ivan's tent)
What a difference since you were last here. Where once there were adoring throngs, now there's nobody. Only Ivan sitting slumped at his table with his head in his hands and his career as a magician lying in shambles at his feet.

incredible one.
You talk to Ivan
Ivan doesn't react when he sees you. He's too distraught to play his charming smarmy role as the 'great three-card magician' anymore. Hunched over like some dejected maiden in a cheap romance, weeping with a handkerchief for his lost love. Except it's not a romance. It's a tragedy, and this dejected maiden has been jilted and won't recover until the grave takes him.

"I'd ask what happened here," you say, "but I already know. You're Ivan the Imposter like I always said. A conman. Hustler. Ne'er-do-well. And now you're exposed. Everyone ran for the hills just like they should've from the start."

"Oh, you don't even know the half," Ivan sniffles. "Lady Gascogne herself… she was here… and when I said she had a seven of hearts,
she
had a deuce of diamonds!"

His wailing overwhelms him. He's a poor worthless blubbering wreck.
Continue
Glorious.
Keep going
At the Exposition (in your booth)
Lady Gascogne is standing beside your table. Unlike everyone else, she doesn't carry her parasol open. She's holding it like a cane with both palms planted on its handle, but not like a cane that anyone would use to hobble around. Instead it's more like a gavel. One strike from its tip to the ground would make the whole world quake. Hyperbole, of course, but not by much.

"Good, here you are," she says when you enter. "Normally I never wait, but when I saw this 'Out to Lunch' sign, I decided to give
you five minutes. How many are left?"

"Just fourteen seconds," her assistant reports next to her.

"Under the wire," says Lady Gascogne.
You take the sign
"Lady Gascogne! Mademoiselles!" you say, sweeping the notice away from your table and settling back into your chair. "What a pleasure to see you all here at this season's exposition! I must apologize. When lunch calls, lunch calls, but I'm honored, enraptured, delighted that you stuck around to see my three-card trick."
Continue
stuck around to see my three-card trick."Something in the air shifts when you speak those magic words. Voices drop. Heads turn. Every lady is staring as though you're a steak that's been thrown for them to devour. You know this sensation. You've felt it before, last season, when you dealt two cards and Lady Gascogne reached for one. They were ready to swallow you whole if you couldn't guess right. Spit out your bones. Leave you disgraced.
Keep going
"Nobody's performed a three-card trick," says Lady Gascogne. "The man in the tent over there tried to do it and failed. He was a liar. Everyone who said that he could do it, they were liars too. I have no tolerance for lies."

"I'm an honest magician," you tell her. "Only genuine tricks from Morgan the Magnificent!"
You examine the deck
A standard deck. Thirteen ranks. Four suits. Fifty-two cards total.
You do the trick
What's it take to perform a three-card trick? Six simple steps:

1. Shuffle the deck.
2. Deal a card.
3. Deal a card.
4. Deal a card.
5. Listen.
6. Name the correct card.

Steps two through four are what make it a three-card trick.
Step five is more important than the rest. But step six is what will impress your spectators the most. Easy as pie.
Deal card
Now the stage is set. You can feel motivations and emotions flowing around you. Expectations. Judgements. Hopes. Everything in the exposition gravitating toward your booth, pouring into your cards. They want to be dealt. They are waiting for you to deal them.
Deal card
You take the top card from the deck and place it face-down on the table.
You listen
…ace of clubs… six of clubs…
…nine of clubs… queen of spades… five of hearts…
Nine of the clubs
"I hear… I hear… a voice," you say, cupping your ear and continuing
on
with your usual rigamarole. You've got it down to a science. How long to drag something out. When to drop hints or reveal specifics.
Continue
Unfortunately all your showmanship is wasted when, after blathering on for some time about the spiritual whispers that have unveiled Lady Gascogne's card to you, the card that you name isn't the card that she's holding. Really, did you just say nine of clubs?
You continue
Whoops! Too bad! You've blown your chance!

Lady Gascogne throws her card down in disgust, and her assistant strips your platinum medal from last season, and you're a laughingstock for years and years to come. You'll never live this down…
Continue
down…if you go through with it.
Continue
But you won't go through with it, because you caught yourself in time. That's the wrong card you just said. Try again.
Y.
cheapglulxe quit with exit status: 0