Brain Guzzlers from Beyond!
Steph Cherrywell
aliens Americana cover art female protagonist graphics humor IFComp 2015 IFComp Game IFComp Winner parser present tense science fiction second person teenage protagonist teenagers walkthrough Xyzzy Awards 2015 XYZZY Best Individual Puzzle
You are Bonnie Noodleman, Ordinary Well-Adjusted Teen-Ager, on an ordinary well-adjusted drive up Make-Out Mountain--until some gooey monstrosity from beyond the stars guzzles your boyfriend's brains clean out of his head! Jeepers, what a pickle! Can you convince the townsfolk you're not koo-koo, or is your thinker next on the alien menu? Explore beautiful Canyonville, New Mexico, at the height of the 1959 Pine Nut Days festival, interact with a full cast of NPCs, perform beat poetry, tamper with baked goods, use hideously powerful space weapons to win cheap carnival trinkets, and try to avoid getting a Reputation!
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Are you a keen gal, or a dull dame? This ten-question Quiz-O-Matric info-matrix--designed with the latest science in mind--will tell you if you're on track for a fairy-tale ending, or if you need to make some changes to keep your Prince Charming from riding right on by!

Question 1: Most importantly, what color is your hair?

1) Blonde.
2) Black.
3) Red.
4) Brown.
2
[Black.]

You may not be at the top of the social pyramid, but this solid choice won't hold you back, either--keep your raven tresses washed and bobbed, and you'll still get plenty of attention! Just watch your wardrobe, and stay away from dungarees and too-bright colors. You don't want to look ethnic!

Question 2: Worries may bring wrinkles, but from time to time, we all get a little fretful--it's our feminine nature! What worries you the most?

1) My clothes.
2) My weight.
3) Nuclear war.
4) My makeup.
4
[My makeup.]

Every girl worries about her makeup. Remember  those old sayings from 'when mother was a girl': "If you're in a rush, just a little blush" but "it's worth half an hour to cover that glower!" Also, "girls who eat off their lipstick soon find it makes hips thick." We hope those help!

Question 3: We've all got that one can't-live-without-it item we tuck into our purses before leaving the house. What's yours?

1) A book of poems. Ah, Dickinson!
2) A girl can't be too careful, so I always carry a switchblade.
3) My collapsible hula hoop!
4) Don't laugh, but...I still carry a teddy bear.
3
[My collapsible hula hoop!]

You're a real party-girl, and your careful choice shows that you're a fun date AND you like to keep fit. Just watch where you swing those hips; a modest hooper is a popular hooper!

Question 4: What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

1) Vanilla.
2) Chocolate.
3) Strawberry.
4) Mint.
5) Lime.
6) Fudge ripple.
7) Raspberry.
8) Rocky road.
9) Black Forest double fudge.
10) Tutti-frutti.
11) Death-by-chocolate triple fudge.
8
[Rocky road.]

As you put your pencil to the page, Jimmy yanks the magazine away from you. "Aw, come on, Bonnie! Whyagotta keep your nose stuck in that magazine alla time? What are you doin', takin' a test? Gee whiz, you'd think we were in class instead of at the Parking Spot!" He leans back in the driver's seat and folds his muscular arms across his chest. "Aren't we gonna... you know...park?"

1) Let's look this "Jimmy" customer over.
2) "Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
with that German exchange student?"
3) "We haven't even been dating that long. What will people say?"
4) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
5) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
3
["We haven't even been dating that long. What will people
say?"]

"Aw, we've been on five dates already. If I don't get kissed soon, the fellas will start callin' me a yellow-belly!"

1) Let's look this "Jimmy" customer over.
2) "Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
with that German exchange student?"
3) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
4) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
1
[Let's look this "Jimmy" customer over.]

He's a real dreamboat--tall, tan, his athlete's body wrapped in a tight varsity jacket that shows off his broad chest and well-muscled arms. He sees you looking and flashes his trademark gleaming grin, the one that makes girls melt into puddles.

1) "Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
with that German exchange student?"
2) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
3) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
1
["Steady girlfriend, huh? You mean you weren't just up here
with that German exchange student?"]

"Gosh, no! I mean, I was. But that was before I met you, and anyway, she was awful, just awful. Her breath tasted like those weird cigarettes she smokes and she wouldn't shut up about, gosh, I don't know what-all it was about. And she had that gross hairy mole on her rear end!"

1) "I guess I can expect you to blab to the next girl about MY hairy mole..."
2) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
3) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
1
["I guess I can expect you to blab to the next girl about MY hairy mole..."]

"Ha, ha" Jimmy snorts. He looks concerned. "Wait, Bonnie. That was a joke, right?"

1) Your mind is made up--you're gonna kiss him!
2) Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!
2
[Your mind is made up--no way are you gonna kiss him!]

"Look," you say, "I'm sorry, but...I'm just not that sort of girl." Jimmy frowns. "I'm starting to think you're not a girl at all--you're more like a cold fish!"
"Well, better a cold fish than an overheated wolf!" you shoot back. "Well, I'D rather be a wolf than a stuck-up cow!"

The conversation goes steadily downhill from there.

"Yak!"
"Skunk!"
"Crab!"
"Hippo!"
"Oooh, grow up you...you axolotl!"
"Well, you're a gazelle! Only, y'know, like an insult, as in 'That Bonnie, she's dumb as a gazelle!' I'm not calling you graceful--" "Wait, shh! What was that?" A sound outside the car has caught your attention.
attention.It's a low gurgling noise, like the gentle babbling of a brook. But that's impossible--The Parking Spot is at the top of a cliff! There's nothing up here but pine trees and gravel roads. The headlights throw the shadows of the trunks into sharp relief.

A black shape appears right in front of you! You stifle a shriek. It's only a deer. The doe ignores you, wandering off into the trees.

The gurgling noise gets louder, than starts to die away. "It's probably just Old Man McDillingfitty," Jimmy says. "That old busybody is always trying to get us kids in trouble!"

With a sickening thud, half of a deer carcass smashes into the front of the car, splattering the windshield with intestines and greenish-yellow ichor. The hindquarters are completely gone, ripped cleanly off, or maybe melted by the glowing goo which is now burning its way through the engine.

"My car!" Jimmy cries. "That's it. Stay here, Bonnie. I'm going to go give that dirty old man a piece of my mind!"
go give that dirty old man a piece of my mind!"He gets out of the car and walks towards the trees. "Hello? Mr. McDillingfitty? Is that you?"

The gurgling, slithering noise gets louder and louder. You can hear noises, heavy but somehow soft, like garbage bags full of gelatin dropping into a parking lot from an enormous height. A shadow rises above the trees, visible only as an absense of stars.

"Golly," Jimmy says. "McDillingfitty is taller than I remembered. He was in the war, wasn't he? Uh--maybe--maybe we should just go--"

A ropy tentacle as thick around as a tree trunk shoots out of the woods and lifts Jimmy off of his feet. "Oh, heck!" he cries in alarm as he's hoisted into the air. The headlights flicker and die. Abrupt and near-total darkness is split by screams of agony. "My brain! You're guzzling my brain! Y-you're not Old Man
McDilling--"

His voice cuts off, and you can hear horrible sucking sounds. Oh gosh! He's being devoured alive! Oh gosh! Oh gosh! That monster--that horrible thing out there, whatever it is--is eating him! And
now it's going to eat you!

Oh my gosh!

You're crouched in the front seat of Jimmy's car. Well, technically now it's kind of your car, since he's dead and your were practically almost sort of his girlfriend. It comes fully loaded with all the latest options: a steering wheel, glove compartment, horn, parking brake, headlights and so on.

Outside is a sea of moonless black, but you know roughly where you are--you're at The Parking Spot, with the front of the car pointing up the steep incline towards the patch of scraggly pines growing on the mountaintop. A short dirt path behind you leads back down to the main road.

You can't see a horrible monster here, but that doesn't mean there isn't one.
About yourself
You're Bonnie Noodleman, a spunky eighteen-year-old with raven-black hair. You're wearing a stylish pleated gray skirt and navy-blue sweater.
You examine the car
Wow, this is a real keen ride! It's got all sorts of features, like a horn, and headlights, and a parking brake, and even a steering wheel, and the whole thing is painted a real swell red that you could get out and admire if it wasn't pitch dark, and if you could leave the car without dying messily.
You look at the brake
It keeps the car from rolling away. It's on right now. You can PULL it to take it off.
You pull the brake
You yank hard on the brake. The car shudders, then begins rolling backwards. Oh, goody--it's working! You feel happy butterflies in your belly as the Meteor gently slides back onto the smooth asphalt of the main road.

The slithering, gibbering noises are fading. Whatever that brain-guzzling monster is, every second that passes is taking you farther away from it. And not only are you escaping, but as your escape continues, it goes faster...

...and faster...

...and maybe you're escaping a little TOO much, because you've got to be going about seventy or eighty miles now backwards down a mountain road in a car that doesn't really work.
You pull break
road in a car that doesn't really work.You grab the wheel and do your best to at least steer, whipping around corners at high speed and barely staying on the road. You're doing okay, though--and then you see it in the rearview mirror! Dead Teenager's Curve, the most dangerous patch of road in the state. Golly, don't tell me you survived a monster attack only to die in an ordinary traffic accident!

You wrestle with the wheel, but it's not enough. The Meteor bursts through the guardrail and sails out into an ocean of cold air and stars! Oh gosh! It's going end over end now, sky and ground switching places in a dizzying whirl. "Jeepers, what a pickle!" you think as your forehead smashes into the steering column.
your forehead smashes into the steering column...........
your forehead smashes into the steering column.....................
your forehead smashes into the steering column.....................Your eyelids flutter open. Holy moly, does your head ever hurt! You drag yourself out from under the wreckage of the Meteor, crawling on your belly into the light of a cool, gray morning. You feel awful, but at least you're alive.

You're standing in the drive-in on the edge of town, where all the coolest teens come to ignore movies. To the north is Make-Out Mountain, and flanking it are a number of less controversial mountains. Mist hangs in the cool air, clinging to the stunted pines and making the screen slick with tiny droplets. A dirt road leads south, and you can see buildings nestled in the low bowl of the valley.

A smoking wreck is parked here upside down.
You look at the wreck
The remains of the Mercury Meteor -- well, technically, now that it's hit the Earth's surface the correct term is "meteorite." Most of it's destroyed, but the glove compartment survived.
You open the glove compartment
You open the glove compartment, revealing a Canyonville High yearbook.
You take the yearbook
Taken.
You look at the yearbook
(You turn to the Table of Contents)

1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
4) (Close the yearbook)
1
[Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager]

Words of Wisdom from your Beloved Principal, Oswald J. Dunkin.

How times have changed! When I was a lad, a youth in Canyonville meant summers helping dear old Dad on his pine nut plantation or cranking my old Model T to take my sweetheart to the movies. The teens of today can expect to spend their salad days soaring through space, trading in the old shovel and hoe for a pair of rocket repair gloves and magnetic astro-boots. Yet we dusty old fogies have, perhaps, picked up a thing or two in our time on this Earth--so it would indeed behoove you to listen up, because what I've got to say might just help you out some day!

Always remember the value of a friendly word. If you see someone, friend or stranger, TALK TO them! This simple courtesy is sure to help you get ahead in life.

Also, try to keep in mind that whatever this old universe of ours throws at you, there's always a way out, and you can never really die. If you do happen upon some awkward patch of the universe that won't allow you to proceed, simply UNDO to move a short distance backwards in time! Truly, the modern age is filled with marvels!

With warmest thanks to all my students, Oswald J. Dunkin, Principal.

(You turn to the Table of Contents)

1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
4) (Close the yearbook)
2
[Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow]

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
5
[Noodleman, Bonnie]

Winner, Miss Human Compass Junior Orienteer, 1956
Winner, Pine Nut Days Girls' Grocery-Balancing Competition, 1958

Played the Widow Fobb, mother of Canyonville founder Charles Fobb, in "Birth of a Town."

"Go west. Take all."- from "Birth of a Town"

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
3
[Johnson, Jimmy]

Fighting Conifers, quarterback, 1959
Fighting Conifers, mascot, 1958, 1957
Voted Most Likely To Live To A Hundred

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the
life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
1
[Brandt, Traudl]

Poets of Tomorrow, founder
Junior Coffee Enthusiasts, participant
NOTE: Miss Brandt has been expelled for gross unseemliness.

Regrettably, Miss Brandt also selected an unprintable quote.

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
2
[Finch, Renee]

Canyonville High Sci-Fi Enthusiasts Club, president, vice president, secretary, treasurer
Bake Sale Honorable Mention, 1959

"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." - H. G. Wells

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
4
[Minsky, Mary Jane]

Canyonville Pine Nut Queen 1959, 1958, 1957, 1956
Canyonville Junior Pine Nut Princess 1955, 1954, 1953, 1952, 1951, 1950, 1949, 1948, 1947, 1946, 1945, 1944, 1943
Most Beautiful Baby, 1942
Third Runner-Up, Miss Albuquerque Greater Metro Area and Surrounding Counties, 1958
Decoration Committee
Glee Club
Cheer Squad

"Any girl can look glamorous." - Hedy Lamarr

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
6
[Yoshida, Jenny]

Blue Ribbon, Pine Nut Days Pie Competition, for "Etude in Sugar and Green"

"Earth laughs in flowers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

(You turn to the index of students)

You can't throw a rock at Canyonville High without hitting one of tomorrow's talented young leaders! (Principal's note: Please do not throw rocks!) Let's learn a little more about these vibrant up-and-coming minds!

1) Brandt, Traudl
2) Finch, Renee
3) Johnson, Jimmy
4) Minsky, Mary Jane
5) Noodleman, Bonnie
6) Yoshida, Jenny
7) (Close the yearbook)
7
[(Close the yearbook)]

You're standing in the drive-in on the edge of town, where all the coolest teens come to ignore movies. To the north is Make-Out Mountain, and flanking it are a number of less controversial mountains. Mist hangs in the cool air, clinging to the stunted pines and making the screen slick with tiny droplets. A dirt road leads south, and you can see buildings nestled in the low bowl of the valley.

A smoking wreck is parked here upside down.
You read the yearbook
(You turn to the Table of Contents)

1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
4) (Close the yearbook)
3
[Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness]

(You turn to the index of community sidebars)

Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!

1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
4) (Close the yearbook)
1
[TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past]

Boston entrepreneur Charles Fobb came west in 1841 with a dream--a dream of a rich, fertile paradise nestled in the heart of the New Mexican desert. What he found was Canyonville.

When Fobb arrived, the savage inhabitants of "Tuva", as they called it, lived a stagnant life of sloth and indolence, grown fat and lazy on the abundant pine nuts and other natural bounty. Saddened at this wasted potential, the kind-hearted Fobb used his golden tongue to convince them to leave the valley for a challenging, industrious life of adventure in the surrounding desert -- except for a few fast friends who were extended an invitation to stay on as Fobb's honored guests. Tuva was rechristened Fobbville, and our city's history began.

The little town prospered, founding a rich agricultural tradition. Pine nuts were soon seen on tables from Fobb's native Boston to Buckingham Palace. Then in 1863--tragedy! Changes to the US legal code resulted in Fobb losing his beloved farmhands. An ill-advised attempt at switching to polished-pine buggywhip handles devastated Fobbville's food production potential for a decade. Fobb's son, Johnward Cable Fobb, soundly defeated Charles in the mayoral election, ushering in a new error of honest government which lasted until he was tragically hanged for murder and horse theft in 1877.

The town, now renamed Canyonville, was by now a popular crossroads of commerce and ideas. In 1912, statehood came knocking, and our city answered the call, boldly throwing its hat in the ring for consideration as state capital. Sadly, the people of New Mexico foolishly took pity on the poorly-run shantytown of Santa Fe instead.

Never one to rest on its considerable laurels, Canyonville rebounded, becoming a bustling tourist destination. The World's Largest Pine Nut, a magnificent behemoth the size of a size four ladies' evening slipper, stood in the town square from 1917 to 1933, when it was devoured by a squirrel. The town took the loss in stride, playfully holding a "trial" for the hungry beast before sentencing him to be hanged by the neck until dead. The squirrel died of natural causes two years later, and the warrant for whoever was sneaking him food remains outstanding. By that time, a new world's largest pine nut had been located and placed in a secure case in the city hall atrium, where it remained until being cracked and rendered into nut butter for the war effort in 1942.

Truly, a history of triumph! What's next for Canyonville? Only you, her treasured youth, can finish this story.

(You turn to the index of community sidebars)

Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!

1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
4) (Close the yearbook)
2
[PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present]

Canyonville: Area on the Go! From the beautiful southwestern architectures of the Old West End to Main Street's bustling shops and our lush town square, Canyonville today is known for its high quality of life. Teens enjoy "keen" nights out at the "nifty" drive-in or have a burger at Finch's. Undoubtedly the high point of the year, however, is Pine Nut Days, our annual celebration of nature's glorious bounty. Goggle at the parade, thrill to fairground extravagance, or try one of the tasty treats on offer. And always keep in mind our motto-"Nothing Bad Could Possibly Happen During Pine Nut Days." So, as Jughead might say on Life With Archie--relaaaaaax!

(You turn to the index of community sidebars)

Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!

1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
4) (Close the yearbook)
3
[MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future]

Space travel. Robotics. Transportation. All of these words and more appear in the pamphlets for MinSystems Labs, our fair city's leading source of non-agricultural income. Tours of the facility and the techno-wizardry within are available twice weekly. Will you be the first Canyonvillian in space?

Don't forget to check out the fantastical Tomorrowdome, the exterior of which is visible through many windows in public areas!

(You turn to the index of community sidebars)

Canyonville, New Mexico: City on the Go! Our fair blossom in the desert is known throughout the quad-county region for its many points of civic pride. See any of the following convenient sidebars for high-quality, school-approved information!

1) TOWN HISTORY: Our Shining Past
2) PINE NUT DAYS: Our Pleasant Present
3) MINSYSTEMS LABS: Our Forward-Looking Future
4) (Close the yearbook)
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
a game pamphlet
You look at the hula hoop
It's a hula hoop. It folds up when you're not using it. It's only useful for hula-ing.
You use the hula hoop
You use the hula hoop. Fun! Then it falls down around your ankles.
You examine the pamphlet
A small pamphlet you picked up at the five and dime. READ it to learn about the game.
You look around
You're standing in the drive-in on the edge of town, where all the coolest teens come to ignore movies. To the north is Make-Out Mountain, and flanking it are a number of less controversial mountains. Mist hangs in the cool air, clinging to the stunted pines and making the screen slick with tiny droplets. A dirt road leads south, and you can see buildings nestled in the low bowl of the valley.

A smoking wreck is parked here upside down.
You go to the south
You're standing on Saguaro Road, in a part of town your mother doesn't like you going. A junkyard squats to the west, and to the east, an old barn has been painted black and blue and hung with a neon sign reading "The Beat Barn." A dirt road leads north to the drive-in, and Saguaro Road itself heads into town to the south and curves northeast into the woods.

A sketchbook lies abandoned in the road.
You take the book
(the sketchbook)
Taken.
You examine it
A thick pad of drawing paper. Some up-and-coming young artist must have dropped this on their way out of the coffeehouse. You could READ it to take a look at the sketches.
You read it
How strange! Instead of being filled with sunsets and chubby naked ladies, like a normal artist's sketchbook, it's filled with nothing but drawings of Campbell's soup cans! No wonder someone threw it away. Nobody's going to pay for soup can drawings, even if they are awful realistic looking!
Go west
Generations of garbage have been piled here in haphazard stacks, rusting and slowly sinking into the earth under the weight of tons of scrap. The only way out is to the east.

McDillingfitty's "house", a rusting metal silo, stands empty, slowly falling apart under the weight of the ages.

A goat is eyeing you suspiciously.
Hello
There is no reply.

The goat suddenly takes it upon himself to butt his head into you, causing you to drop the game pamphlet.
You take the pamphlet
Taken.
You search the garbage
You find nothing of interest.

The goat nibbles at some nonexistent grass.

The goat suddenly takes it upon himself to butt his head into you, causing you to drop the game pamphlet.
You take the pamphlet
Taken.

The goat looks at you as if you were a plump, juicy tin can.
You examine house
It's a little taller than a one-story house, but too narrow to have much living space. There's an open hatch on the side where a door probably used to be. You never noticed it before, but there are numbers printed on the side: "X271 -- Minsystems Labs."
You enter the house
The goat bleats menacingly at you as you get close to the silo, and you hastily take several steps back.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a game pamphlet
a sketchbook
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You feed the sketchbook to the goat
The goat's mouth waters as he looks at the tastily realistic cans. Oh my gosh! He sinks his teeth into the sketchbook and gobbles it up in seconds! At least it was worth something to somebody.

The goat looks much friendlier now. He's eyeing you as if you might know where there's more food.
You enter house
You poke your head in and look around. There's nothing inside except a smell so dreadful it nearly makes your permanent wave go limp. McDillingfitty is nowhere to be seen.
Look around
Generations of garbage have been piled here in haphazard stacks, rusting and slowly sinking into the earth under the weight of tons of scrap. The only way out is to the east.

McDillingfitty's "house", a rusting metal silo, stands empty, slowly falling apart under the weight of the ages.

A goat is eyeing you hopefully.
Go east
You're standing on Saguaro Road, in a part of town your mother doesn't like you going. A junkyard squats to the west, and to the east, an old barn has been painted black and blue and hung with a neon sign reading "The Beat Barn." A dirt road leads north to the drive-in, and Saguaro Road itself heads into town to the south and curves northeast into the woods.

The goat trots after you.
Go east
You knock politely on the barn door. It opens just wide enough for a man with a goatee and a beret to stick his pointy nose though. "Like, beat it, chicky," he says. "We're, like, closedville until tonight, you dig?" He shuts the door in your face.
Go northeast
From here, the road plunges northeast into the sheer cliffs and curves gently southwest towards town. Twisted-looking pines frame the tunnel entrance itself, which is pitch black and smells moist and alive. Far above you, you can see the sleek modernist wedge of Minsystems Labs perched at the edge of the cliffs.

The goat trots after you.
Go northeast
Gosh, why? It's nearly a mile of damp, dark spookiness, and there's not much on the other side except cattle ranches, and eventually Albuquerque.
Go upwards
What, straight up the cliffs? Better teen-agers than you have tried! Well, not so much better as deader.
You go south
The pavement here is filled with cracks and potholes, but the shop windows are neatly polished and more than one shabby building has been given a fresh, bright coat of paint. Yoshida Floral is on the east side of the street, and the sidewalk in front of it is scattered with petals. A faint sickly yellow glow is emanating from inside the shop. Saguaro Road runs north and south from here.

Jenny Yoshida is sweeping up in front of her family's shop.

The goat trots after you.
You talk to Jenny
[Picture number 3 here.]

"Hi, Bonnie!" Jenny says brightly. "Thanks for stopping by. Are you on the way to the parade? Jeepers, Bons, you don't look too good. Is everything okay?

1) "My boyfriend was just devoured by some kind of...of brain guzzling monster!"
1
["My boyfriend was just devoured by some kind of...of brain
guzzling monster!"]

"Ha, ha, real funny, Bons."

1) "No, really--this huge, hulking, slimy thing guzzled Jimmy's brain right in front of me!"
1
["No, really--this huge, hulking, slimy thing guzzled Jimmy's
brain right in front of me!"]

"Well--um--if you say so." Jenny bites her lip. "Look, uh, if something bad happened to you, maybe you should tell the police about it. The station is just down the street, just turn left when you hit the parade."

1) "Parade?"
2) "I should get going."
1
["Parade?"]

"The Pine Nut Days parade, of course!" Jenny says. "Gosh, it's only about the biggest event of the year. Why, Mary Jane Minsky is Miss Canyonville Pine Nut Queen of 1959! How could you forget a thing like that?"

1) "Oh, that's swell! I'm glad MJ won the pageant."
2) "That airhead? Ugh, how embarrassing."
1
["Oh, that's swell! I'm glad MJ won the pageant."]

"Well, of course, isn't absolutely everybody? She makes such a pretty Queen, and she's so passionate about pine nuts and their many commercial uses!" Jenny sighs. "Gosh, I wish I could be there in the crowd, cheering for her!"

1) "You and Mary Jane must be best friends."
2) "So why AREN'T you at the parade?"
3) "I should get going."
2
["So why AREN'T you at the parade?"]

"Don't you think I want to be?" Jenny says bitterly. "But it's my job to sweep up all these petals and trimmings, and Granny says I have to do my chores EVERY DAY, even if there's a parade. Plus she's worried someone will break in if I don't guard the place. Even though there's not even any merchandise!

1) "You and Mary Jane must be best friends."
2) "If there's no merchandise, what's that glowing in the store?"
3) "I should get going."
2
["If there's no merchandise, what's that glowing in the
store?"]

"Oh, that's just a little plant I'm growing from a seed I found in the woods. Well, it's still just a seed, so far, but, uh, any day now!"

1) "You and Mary Jane must be best friends."
2) "Can I take a look at your seed?"
3) "I should get going."
2
["Can I take a look at your seed?"]

"Uh, Granny will pitch a fit if I let you in while we're supposed to be closed. Sorry!"

1) "You and Mary Jane must be best friends."
2) "So, still sweeping?"
3) "Hey, Jenny, how about I find someone else to do this for you? Then you could go see the parade."
4) "I should get going."
3
["Hey, Jenny, how about I find someone else to do this for you?
Then you could go see the parade."]

Jenny smiles. "That would be wonderful! Who do you have in mind?"

1) "I'll do it!"
2) "I bet this goat is hungry enough to eat these clippings. He's a real rough customer, too!"
2
["I bet this goat is hungry enough to eat these clippings. He's a
real rough customer, too!"]

"Wow, uh, you know, that could work!" Jenny is beaming ear to ear. She grabs you in a sudden hug. "Which means I can go to the parade now! Thank you, Bons! Thank you so much!"

Jenny is practically skipping as she heads south toward the sounds of marching band music.

The pavement here is filled with cracks and potholes, but the shop windows are neatly polished and more than one shabby building has been given a fresh, bright coat of paint. Yoshida Floral is on the east side of the street, and the sidewalk in front of it is scattered with petals. A faint sickly yellow glow is emanating from inside the shop. Saguaro Road runs north and south from here.

A goat is here, happily chomping away at the trimmings.
You look around
The pavement here is filled with cracks and potholes, but the shop windows are neatly polished and more than one shabby building has been given a fresh, bright coat of paint. Yoshida Floral is on the east side of the street, and the sidewalk in front of it is scattered with petals. A faint sickly yellow glow is emanating from inside the shop. Saguaro Road runs north and south from here.

A goat is here, happily chomping away at the trimmings.
You go east
A quaint little flower shop, minus the flowers. Even with the shelves bare, it feels almost claustrophobic. The exit is west, and stairs lead up to the Yoshidas' apartment.

A seedling growth chart is tacked to the wall here.

You can also see a glowing seed here.
You examine the chart
It looks like this is the chart Jenny's going to use to track the growth of her mysterious "plant", Mary Jane Junior, once it hatches, er, germinates. The chart itself hasn't been filled in yet, but Jenny has typed a number of predictions in the "notes" section. "Of course, it's impossible to know just how large my little 'Mary Jane' might get, but with the nutrient saturation the subject is receiving now, I wouldn't be surprised to see a tripling or even a quadrupling of size within days, once growth begins in earnest!"
You examine the seed
It's about the size of a tennis ball, lumpy and irregular, and covered in spiny armor. It's also sweating a thick, glowing ooze. It's the strangest-looking seed you've ever seen. If it wasn't half-buried in a pot of earth, you'd swear it looked more like an egg or something! "Mary Jane Junior" is written on the pot with magic marker.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a glowing seed
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
Go up
You don't want to go poking around in Jenny's apartment when she's not around. That's a good way to get a reputation as a Sally Snoopypants!
You go west
The pavement here is filled with cracks and potholes, but the shop windows are neatly polished and more than one shabby building has been given a fresh, bright coat of paint. Yoshida Floral is on the east side of the street, and the sidewalk in front of it is scattered with petals. Saguaro Road runs north and south from here.

A goat is here, happily chomping away at the trimmings.
Go south
Saguaro Road runs south into Main Street here. The town police station is to the east. The Pine Nut Festival Parade fills Main Street, and the sidewalks are crammed with parade-watchers in both directions.

The Canyonville High marching band passes by in an enthusiastic mess of oompah horns and bleating piccolos.
You examine Parade
You stand on tip-toe and just watch for a while.

The Canyonville High flag squad marches past, banners fluttering.
You look athe parade-watchers
A tightly-packed, sardinelike wall of human flesh.

A float shaped like a pink Cadillac slides by.
Go east
Your sleepy little town doesn't have much need for active policing, so the building is small and the police officers are large. It's really not much more than a little office that also functions as an overnight hotel for drunks and delinquents. Double doors open onto Saguaro Road to the west.

Officer Buck Wilcox is relaxing with his feet up on the desk.
You talk to Wilcox
[Picture number 4 here.]

Buck Wilcox nods at you. "Something I can help you with, Miss?"

1) "You've got to help me, Officer! My boyfriend Jimmy was just eaten by some sort of horrible BRAIN GUZZLER!"
1
["You've got to help me, Officer! My boyfriend Jimmy was just
eaten by some sort of horrible BRAIN GUZZLER!"]

"Hold on. Let's hear that again, without the goofy teen-age jibber-jabber."

1) "No, that wasn't slang, he was literally torn limb from limb and guzzled down right in front of me by an awful gelatinous monstrosity!"
1
["No, that wasn't slang, he was literally torn limb from limb and guzzled down right in front of me by an awful gelatinous monstrosity!"]

"Suuure he was. Let me guess--this 'monstrosity', was it bright pink with a loooong nose and, heh heh, big floppy ears?"

1) "I'm not drunk, Officer, and I haven't gone mad--there really is something out there! It's probably from space-or-or the bottom of the ocean or something like that and golly, you've got to warn everyone, or this town will be in deep soup!"
1
["I'm not drunk, Officer, and I haven't gone mad--there really is something out there! It's probably from space-or-or the bottom of the ocean or something like that and golly, you've got to warn everyone, or this town will be in deep soup!"]

"Look, little missy, I'd hate to have to throw a nice girl like you in the drunk tank. Go home and sleep it off, all right?"

1) "I'm telling the truth! Oh, how can I convince you?"
2) "That gosh-darn parade is in the way! Can't you tell the crowd to disperse a little so I can get past?"
3) "Shouldn't you be out doing your job?"
4) "You want proof--take a look at this! An alien egg!"
5) "Forget I even brought this up."
1
["I'm telling the truth! Oh, how can I convince you?"]

"All right, missy," Buck says, laughing. "If you can show me an example of one of these mysterious brain guzzlers of yours, something really 'out of this world', THEN maybe I'll admit we have a problem. Until then, why don't you scoot off and sober up a little, hmm?"

1) "What evidence was it you wanted me to find, again?"
2) "That gosh-darn parade is in the way! Can't you tell the crowd to disperse a little so I can get past?"
3) "Shouldn't you be out doing your job?"
4) "You want proof--take a look at this! An alien egg!"
5) "Forget I even brought this up."
4
["You want proof--take a look at this! An alien egg!"]

"Hmm..." Buck frowns, taking the seed from you and peering at it. "There IS somethin' mighty odd-looking about--"

The phone rings, and Buck picks it up. "Police. Hmm? You say your cows are dead? Something guzzled their brains? Yeah, I've heard of that sort of thing--probably just some teen-age delinquents, but I'll come and take a look. Mister? Mister, I sure can't hear you over all that slithering." He pulls the phone away from his ear. "Now, there's no need to scream at me. I'll be out as soon as I can."

"Sorry, missy. Sounds like your delinquent friends are causing trouble at the old Bristlender place. I'll have to deal with you later."

1) "Jeepers, would you please listen to me. I'm telling you that something dangerous is out there--I have the gosh darn evidence right here in front of you. If you go up there, you could be killed!"
1
["Jeepers, would you please listen to me. I'm telling you that something dangerous is out there--I have the gosh darn evidence right here in front of you. If you go up there, you could be killed!"]

Buck shakes you roughly. "Calm down! I don't have time to deal with a hysterical girl right now. I'm going to have to lock you up until I get back so you don't panic and hurt yourself." He drags you to the drunk tank and shoves you inside. "There. I'm going to collar some teen-aged troublemakers, and when I get back, I'll expect a full apology for wasting valuable police time."

He walks out, leaving you trapped. Somehow, though, between adrenaline and the angry goat and the untreated concussion you've been carrying around since the car accident, you're too exhausted to care just at the moment. Collapsing onto the cot, you fall into uneasy sleep.

You wake to the sound of a key rattling in the door. It's Deputy Wilcox, Buck's nephew. "Miss? I just can't be worryin' about you right now, with all what's goin' on and me all by my lonesome with Unk off doin' goodness knows what. You're free to go, I guess."

He helps you out of the cell before leaving. You're sore, stiff, and hungry, but free. Through the window, you can see the noonday sun beating down. You must have been passed out for hours! Who knows what sort of living heck the town has become in the meantime?

Your sleepy little town doesn't have much need for active policing, so the building is small and the police officers are large. It's really not much more than a little office that also functions as an overnight hotel for drunks and delinquents. Double doors open onto Saguaro Road to the west.
Go west
Saguaro Road runs south into Main Street here. The town police station is to the east.
Go south
The cracks and potholes of north-south Saguaro meet the fresh black asphalt of east-west Main Street, which is littered with leftover parade stuff. The only business that looks open is the corner diner to the southwest.
Go southwest
The Finch family operates this shabby but comfortable burger joint, where the food is cheap, the smiles are free, and the decor can be summed up as "orange paint". A family photo and a daily specials chalkboard are hanging up behind the counter. You can go northeast to get back to the street.

Renee Finch is wiping down tables.
You examine the specials
"Today's special: "King's Breast" Owl Sandwich (actually chicken). Comes with poooooisonous lead toy."
You examine photo
Renee with her parents. It was taken a few years ago after they moved into town and bought the place. Her mom and dad had a wedding in the diner on opening day, since mixed-race couples couldn't get married where they lived before, and you remember her dad flipping burgers in the back and her mom waiting tables in her dress. It looks a little surreal in the photo, if you don't know the story.
You talk to Renee
[Picture number 6 here.]

"Hey. Can I get you something?"

1) "Renee! You like all that space stuff, right? Little green men and slime monsters and...and alien brain guzzlers and things?"
1
["Renee! You like all that space stuff, right? Little green men
and slime monsters and...and alien brain guzzlers and things?"]

Renee puts her hands on her hips. "So I like science fiction. What's wrong with having a little imagination, huh?"

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "Where did you get that unusual-looking gun?"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
3
["I want to order something, please."]

"Sure, what?"

1) "I'll have the special!"
2) "I'll have a burger!"
3) "One free smile, please!"
1
["I'll have the special!"]

"Oh, sorry about that. The parade crowd cleaned us out pretty good. I've got some burger supplies, but that's about it."

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "Where did you get that unusual-looking gun?"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
3
["I want to order something, please."]

"Sure, what?"

1) "I'll have a burger!"
2) "One free smile, please!"
1
["I'll have a burger!"]

"Sure thing. I'll stick it on your tab." Renee grills up a Finch's Famous Depth Charge Deluxe, a steaming monument to hot peppers and grease, wraps it in paper, and slides it over to you. "Here ya go! Our motto is, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Or at least, you know, bigger."

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "Where did you get that unusual-looking gun?"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
2
["Where did you get that unusual-looking gun?"]

Renee grins and pulls out the weapon. "Pretty cool, huh? I found it on that mountain where the white kids go to make out. I went there last night to watch for unindentified flying... birds. I didn't...see...anything, but I found this...toy...near the...near nowhere."

1) "Does it work?"
1
["Does it work?"]

"How would I know?" Renee says defensively. "I mean, it's just a toy. Of course it doesn't 'work'! Why do you care, anyway?"

1) "Renee, if you saw something, you can tell me. I've seen it too! It was some sort of huge, horrible THING and it ate my
boyfriend's brains right out of his gosh darn head!"
1
["Renee, if you saw something, you can tell me. I've seen it too!
It was some sort of huge, horrible THING and it ate my
boyfriend's brains right out of his gosh darn head!"]

Renee narrows her eyes. "You'll excuse me if I'm a little skeptical."

1) "Okay, so we went on five dates. But he was PRACTICALLY my boyfriend. Sort of."
1
["Okay, so we went on five dates. But he was PRACTICALLY my
boyfriend. Sort of."]

"No, I mean, you'll excuse me if I don't fall for the latest game of ooh, let's have some fun with the crazy girl. No matter what
you say about it, I'm going to keep ignoring you, so you can just go back and tell your friends I'm done giving them things to laugh at over their cucumber sandwiches. Got it?"

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "I like sci-fi just as much as you do, you know!"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
2
["I like sci-fi just as much as you do, you know!"]

Renee looks you up and down. "Yeah, the odds of that are about a billion to one."

1) "I think the model spaceships are really neat!"
2) "I don't read all the comics, but I look at the covers. That's as good as reading them, right?"
3) "Why, I'd have a Martian for a pet, if I could!"
1
["I think the model spaceships are really neat!"]

"Science fiction's about ideas, not special effects--no matter how cutting edge they are!"

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "I do so like science fiction!"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
2
["I do so like science fiction!"]

"Oh really?"

1) "I think the model spaceships are really neat!"
2) "I don't read all the comics, but I look at the covers. That's as good as reading them, right?"
3) "Why, I'd have a Martian for a pet, if I could!"
2
["I don't read all the comics, but I look at the covers. That's as good as reading them, right?"]

"Those covers never have anything to do with the stories! You'd know that if you read any of them!"

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "I do so like science fiction!"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
3
["Why, I'd have a Martian for a pet, if I could!"]

"Ha! The Tharks would kick your skinny behind and the tripods would just death-ray you to death. Everybody knows there's no such thing as a nice Martian."

1) "It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"
2) "I do so like science fiction!"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
Inventory
You are carrying:
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
1
["It's kind of empty in here. Where is everybody?"]

"Most of 'em headed over to the fairgrounds once the parade ended."

1) "Why aren't you at the fairgrounds with everyone else? Am I going to have to find another goat?"
2) "I do so like science fiction!"
3) "I want to order something, please."
4) "Guess that's it for now."
1
["Why aren't you at the fairgrounds with everyone else? Am I going
to have to find another goat?"]

Renee rolls her eyes. "Dad's so overprotective. He doesn't like me hanging out on that side of town."

1) "But MY dad says THIS is the dangerous side of town."
2) "Has your dad been reading your comic books again?"
1
["But MY dad says THIS is the dangerous side of town."]

Renee chuckles. "Yeah... funny how that works, huh?"

1) "I do so like science fiction!"
2) "I want to order something, please."
3) "Guess that's it for now."
3
["Guess that's it for now."]

"See ya 'round."

The Finch family operates this shabby but comfortable burger joint, where the food is cheap, the smiles are free, and the decor can be summed up as "orange paint". A family photo and a daily specials chalkboard are hanging up behind the counter. You can go northeast to get back to the street.

Renee Finch is wiping down tables.
You eat Depth Charge Deluxe
It would probably have been both easier and healthier to eat an actual depth charge, but it's down and it's most likely staying there!
You examine Depth Charge Deluxe
Wow, it's really big and heavy! It's more like a bowling ball wearing bread earmuffs than a hamburger. It smells delicious, though!
You look
The Finch family operates this shabby but comfortable burger joint, where the food is cheap, the smiles are free, and the decor can be summed up as "orange paint". A family photo and a daily specials chalkboard are hanging up behind the counter. You can go northeast to get back to the street.

Renee Finch is wiping down tables.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
Go east
A broad, pleasant thoroughfare running east and west through town. The street's quaint charm is only slightly lessened by the scattered parade garbage and oodles of horse apples. Nobody's around right now, but the door of the five and dime to the south is open.
Go south
This small mom-and-pop store has almost everything, except Mom and Pop, who seem to be out at the moment. There are all sorts of other handy-dandy sundries, though, including a rack full of comic books. There's also a pair of eye-catching promotional displays, one green, one blue.

A friendly note is lying on the counter.
You examine the note
It's a handwritten note. "We're At The Fair! If you want to buy something--just leave money on the counter. We Trust You! Signed, Mom and Pop. P.S. Thieves will be pumped full of rock salt."
You examine the comic books
Your parents say these are trash, but you've always wanted to READ some.
You read the comic books
There sure are a lot of comics here! You spend a few minutes leafing through them. Most of them are pretty ridiculous scenarios with none of the realism of a good Hollywood movie. Jungle Tales has a
story about a reporter who crashes in the jungle and finds a magic idol. Weird Sci-Fi is all about some space explorers being
menaced by a monster, but the surprise twist is they were alien plants the whole time and the monster is a big cow. Gosh, they're not kidding when they say this stuff is trash! Still, you find one that's not bad--a little volume called Poppy, Girl of the Galaxy, about
a girl starship captain and her loyal robot dog RF-RF. You read on, and are pulled into a rollicking tale of action and suspense as Poppy and RF-RF face off against "The Stellar Smugglers". Before you know it, you've reached the final page...

POPPY: Jeepers, RF! That sure was a close call!
RF-RF: You said it, Poppy! You know, I thought for sure that space worm was a bad egg. But in the end, he saved us from the smugglers. Sorta funny!
POPPY: It makes you think, doesn't it, chum? How much life have we rejected--how many wars have been started--by those two little words "I assume"? A true Girl of the Galaxy doesn't reject someone just because they're slimy or a little different. Scrape away that slime and you might find a friend coccooned underneath!

Gosh, what a story! You even got a little misty-eyed at that moving ending.
You take the comic books
You're not carrying any money! Better just read them here and then put them back on the rack.
You examine the green display
A color photo depicts a beach scene. Several good-looking boys are sneering at a distraught-looking girl. The copy under the picture reads: "'PHOOEY! SHE'S TOO FAT FOR ME!'

Are you sick of hearing that from all the fellows? Tired of having them pass you by because you're too plump? Want the slender shape that turns heads? SLIM-U is your solution! SLIM-U uses a zero-calorie stomach sponge to fill you up without need of food and is guaranteed to take off pounds, inches, where you don't want them. No-body loves a blimp--pick up a free sample canister and try SLIM-U today!"

On the green display is a green canister.
You open the green canister
You open the green canister, revealing a whole bunch of green pills.
You take the green canister
Taken.
You examine the blue display
A color photo depicts a beach scene. Several good-looking boys are sneering at a distraught-looking girl. The copy under the picture reads: "'NO SKINNY SCARE-CROW FOR ME!'

Are you tired of hearing that from all the boys? Sick of being ignored because you're too skinny? Want the lush curves that turn heads? WATE-ON is your solution! WATE-ON is scientifically formulated using a high-energy sucrose extract that's guaranteed to quickly add pounds, inches, where you need them. No-body loves a scrawny stick--pick up a free sample box and try WATE-ON today!"

On the blue display is a blue box.
You open the blue box
You open the blue box, revealing a whole bunch of blue pills.
You talk to Renee
[Picture number 6 here.]

"Hey, back again?"

1) "I do so like science fiction!"
2) "I want to order something, please."
3) "Guess that's it for now."
1
["I do so like science fiction!"]

"Oh really?"

1) "I think the model spaceships are really neat!"
2) "I don't read all the comics, but I look at the covers. That's as good as reading them, right?"
3) "Why, I'd have a Martian for a pet, if I could!"
4) "But Renee! A true Girl of the Galaxy doesn't reject someone just because they're slimy or a little different. Scrape away that slime and you might find a friend coccooned underneath!"
4
["But Renee! A true Girl of the Galaxy doesn't reject someone just because they're slimy or a little different. Scrape away that slime and you might find a friend coccooned underneath!"]

Renee squeals. "You read Poppy, Girl of the Galaxy too? I
never knew!" She drops her voice. "Look, I'm sorry I doubted you. I did see something. It was like a...a flying saucer! We can't
tell the others, they'll never believe it, but I went up the mountains, near where I saw it flying over, and I found this! Isn't this amazing?"

Renee pulls the ray gun out of her apron pocket and hands it to you. "Here, go ahead and borrow it for a while, if you want."

1) "I want to order something, please."
2) "Guess that's it for now."
Inventory
You are carrying:
a cosmic ray gun
a blue box (open)
a whole bunch of blue pills
a green canister (open)
a whole bunch of green pills
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You go northeast
The cracks and potholes of north-south Saguaro meet the fresh black asphalt of east-west Main Street, which is littered with leftover parade stuff. The only business that looks open is the corner diner to the southwest.
Go east
A broad, pleasant thoroughfare running east and west through town. The street's quaint charm is only slightly lessened by the scattered parade garbage and oodles of horse apples. Nobody's around right now, but the door of the five and dime to the south is open.
You go to the east
Main Street comes from the west, ending here at its intersection with the north-south Oppenheimer Road. To the east is the town square, currently decorated for Pine Nut Days with a number of tents and attractions. It looks like most of the town has gathered there.
You go east
You're standing at the entrance to Canyonville Pine Nut Days. The scent of fresh-baked pies wafts from a covered area to the northeast, the sleek Tomorrow Pavilion is to the southeast, and straight east takes you to the center of the town square. You can exit the fair onto Main Street to the west.

A young woman walks by, looking distinctly green around the gills and holding her stomach as if she's regretting the last several helpings of cotton candy. Suddenly, she claps a hand over her mouth and flees towards the nearest ladies' room.
Go northeast
This tent is filled with the absolutely scrumptious scent of freshly baked pies. Several long tables are laden with dozens of entries competing for the blue-ribbon prize.

Mary Jane Minsky, the Pine Nut Queen, is here, surrounded by her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting.

You can also see a gruesome glowing pie, a row of delicious pies and a pink purse (closed) here.

Mary Jane cuts a slice from the pie in front of her.
You talk to Mary Jane
[Picture number 5 here.]

"Oh, hello, Bonnie. My, don't you look--disheveled today."

1) "I don't guess you care that your kingdom is being attacked by killer brain guzzlers, Your Majesty."
1
["I don't guess you care that your kingdom is being attacked by
killer brain guzzlers, Your Majesty."]

"Not really, Your Peasantiness." Mary Jane giggles. "Sorry. I just have to stay in character, you know!"

1) "Gosh, you sure do love pie."
2) "Have you seen Jenny? I thought she would be with you."
3) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
2
["Have you seen Jenny? I thought she would be with you."]

"She was here earlier. She's...not feeling well." Mary Jane lowers her voice. "She wants to be alone. Someone stole the plant she was raising right out of her shop earlier, can you believe it?

1) "Gosh, you sure do love pie."
2) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
1
["Gosh, you sure do love pie."]

"I'm the judge, silly! It's one of my duties as the Pine Nut Queen. I get to sample every pie here and decide whose is yummiest!"

1) "Have you noticed that, uh, unusual pie at the end of the table?" 2) "Why don't you stop now and declare Jenny's pie the winner? You two are best friends, right?"
3) "Aren't you worried about what stuffing yourself with pie will do to your figure?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
3
["Aren't you worried about what stuffing yourself with pie will do
to your figure?"]

"Not in the least!" Mary Jane says brightly. "I had a complete physical before my coronation to insure I was fit for my royal duties. Here, have a look!" Mary Jane leads you over to her purse and spins the combination lock until it opens. Rifling inside, she pulls out a sheet of paper. "See? It says here I have the metabolism of a hummingbird. I won't gain an ounce!" She stuffs the paper back into her purse, drops the purse back on the table without bothering to close and lock it, and returns to her entourage.

1) "Have you noticed that, uh, unusual pie at the end of the table?" 2) "Why don't you stop now and declare Jenny's pie the winner? You two are best friends, right?"
3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
4
["Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."]

"Have fun at the fair!"

This tent is filled with the absolutely scrumptious scent of freshly baked pies. Several long tables are laden with dozens of entries competing for the blue-ribbon prize.

Mary Jane Minsky, the Pine Nut Queen, is here, surrounded by her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting.

You can also see a gruesome glowing pie, a row of delicious pies and a pink purse (in which is a physical results chart) here.

Mary Jane puts a forkful of pie in her mouth.
You examine pies
They all look extremely delicious!

Mary Jane frowns and makes a face. She quickly sets the piece of pie down.
You examine the glowing pie
Someone left this pie at the end of the pie-tasting table. It's at least five times bigger than the other pies, it's glowing like a lighthouse, and you can see things moving around under the crust. The smell of decay hovers around it.

Mary Jane murmurs something to one of her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting, who writes it down on a clipboard.
You talk to Mary Jane
[Picture number 5 here.]

"Oh, hello again, Bonnie."

1) "Have you noticed that, uh, unusual pie at the end of the table?" 2) "Why don't you stop now and declare Jenny's pie the winner? You two are best friends, right?"
3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
1
["Have you noticed that, uh, unusual pie at the end of the
table?"]

"Oh, that. It was just sitting on the table when I got here. It looks a little, ummm..." Mary Jane drops her voice. "I'm putting that one off 'til last."

1) "I don't think you should taste that strange pie at all. It might be, er, poisoned?"
2) "Why don't you stop now and declare Jenny's pie the winner? You two are best friends, right?"
3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
2
["Why don't you stop now and declare Jenny's pie the winner? You
two are best friends, right?"]

"Why, Bonstance Noodleman, I'm surprised at you!" Mary Jane says. "That would be cheating! Plus I couldn't figure out which one was hers."

1) "I don't think you should taste that strange pie at all. It might be, er, poisoned?"
2) "Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue ribbon?" 3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
1
["I don't think you should taste that strange pie at all. It might
be, er, poisoned?"]

"Oh, I know it's not the nicest-looking pie, but I only have to take one teeny little bite. It's my duty."

1) "Seriously, I think that weird pie might kill you."
2) "Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue ribbon?" 3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
1
["Seriously, I think that weird pie might kill you."]

"Oh, don't be silly. It can't be THAT bad!"

1) "Seriously, I think that weird pie might kill you."
2) "Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue ribbon?" 3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
2
["Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue
ribbon?"]

"No way! I told you, that wouldn't be fair!"

1) "Seriously, I think that weird pie might kill you."
2) "Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue ribbon?" 3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
4
["Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."]

"Have fun at the fair!"

This tent is filled with the absolutely scrumptious scent of freshly baked pies. Several long tables are laden with dozens of entries competing for the blue-ribbon prize.

Mary Jane Minsky, the Pine Nut Queen, is here, surrounded by her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting.

You can also see a gruesome glowing pie, a row of delicious pies and a pink purse (in which is a physical results chart) here.

Mary Jane and her retinue move down to the next pie.
You look at the purse
It matches her dress.

In the pink purse is a physical results chart.

Mary Jane cuts a slice from the pie in front of her.
You take the chart
Taken.

Mary Jane puts a forkful of pie in her mouth.
You talk to Jane
[Picture number 5 here.]

"Oh, hello again, Bonnie."

1) "Seriously, I think that weird pie might kill you."
2) "Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue ribbon?" 3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
3
["I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are
you SURE you read those physical results right?"]

Mary Jane shrugs and walks over to her purse to check the results again. She digs around inside. "Huh," she says. "I can't seem to find it in there. But I remember what it said, and it said I'd be fine."

1) "Seriously, I think that weird pie might kill you."
2) "Are you sure you don't want to just give Jenny the blue ribbon?" 3) "I still don't believe all these calories won't do anything. Are you SURE you read those physical results right?"
4) "Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."
4
["Er... I must take my leave, Your Majesty."]

"Have fun at the fair!"

This tent is filled with the absolutely scrumptious scent of freshly baked pies. Several long tables are laden with dozens of entries competing for the blue-ribbon prize.

Mary Jane Minsky, the Pine Nut Queen, is here, surrounded by her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting.

You can also see a gruesome glowing pie, a row of delicious pies and a pink purse (empty) here.

Mary Jane rolls her eyes in pleasure and finishes off the piece of pie in a few healthy bites.
You look at the chart
These are notes from a recent physical for "Minsky, Mary Jane Minerva". Among other things, the doctors remark that her metabolism seems excellent. "Miss Minsky is near-perfectly fit. It is this doctor's opinion that the various culinary duties of the Pine Nut Queen--including the judging of the pie competition--should pose little damage to her royal figure."

Mary Jane murmurs something to one of her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting, who writes it down on a clipboard.
You examine the pies
They all look extremely delicious!

Mary Jane and her retinue move down to the next pie.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a physical results chart
a cosmic ray gun
a blue box (open)
a whole bunch of blue pills
a green canister (open)
a whole bunch of green pills
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)

Mary Jane cuts a slice from the pie in front of her.
You give the depth charge to Mary Jane
"No, thank you!"

Mary Jane puts a forkful of pie in her mouth.
You put the pill in the pie
Which do you mean, the whole bunch of blue pills or the whole bunch of green pills?
You look at the blue pills
You see nothing special about the whole bunch of blue pills.

Mary Jane looks throughtful. Slowly, she takes another bite of pie and chews it carefully.
You put the blue pill in the pie
Which do you mean, the gruesome glowing pie or the row of delicious pies?
Delicious pies
You shake a blue pill into your hand.

You discreetly tuck the blue pill beneath the crust of the next pie down from Mary Jane. Soon enough, she's picking it up, cutting a slice, and stuffing it cheerfully into her face. Nothing much happens, though. If you're trying to fatten her up, the pie is probably already doing a good enough job on its own.

Mary Jane murmurs something to one of her Pine Nut Ladies-In-Waiting, who writes it down on a clipboard.
You put the green pill in the delicious pie
You shake a green pill into your hand.

You discreetly tuck the green pill beneath the crust of the next pie down from Mary Jane. Soon enough, she's picking it up, cutting a slice, and stuffing it cheerfully into her face. A moment later, you hear the muffled whumpf of a giant SLIM-U sponge blowing up
in her stomach like a life raft trapped in a coffee can. Mary Jane grimaces and puts a hand to her abdomen. "Oof..." she moans, "I think...maybe...that's enough pie for today."

Surrounded by her ladies-in-waiting, Mary Jane rushes off, looking pale.
You take glowing pie
You heft the gruesome glowing pie. Not only have you saved Mary Jane from biting into a major yuckaroo, you've now got a piece of evidence about the creatures!
Look around
This tent is filled with the absolutely scrumptious scent of freshly baked pies. Several long tables are laden with dozens of entries competing for the blue-ribbon prize.

You can see a row of delicious pies and a pink purse (empty) here.
Go west
The way the tables are set up prevents you from leaving in any direction but southwest or south.

You can't go that way.
You go to the south
All paths lead here, to the paved center of the town square. A large bronze statue of Canyonville's founder, Charles Fobb, towers over you. The festival surrounds you on all sides--east to the midway, west to the exit, south to the Tomorrow Pavilion, and north to the annual Judging of the Pies.

You can see Deputy Wilcox here.
You talk to Deputy
[Picture number 8 here.]

"Well, hi there", the young deputy says. "Hope we can put all that business this morning behind us. As long as you're here for good clean fun, you're welcome at Pine Nut Days. Miss...Noodleman, wasn't it?

1) "Deputy Wilcox! The town is in terrible danger from...from...bears? Big, nasty, plausible bears!"
1
["Deputy Wilcox! The town is in terrible danger
from...from...bears? Big, nasty, plausible bears!"]

"First it's monsters, now it's bears?" The deputy shakes his head. "Look, I can't get my uncle on the radio, and now mysterious gigantic, jiggling folks in trenchcoats have been spotted in the area! They could be spies for Khrushchev, or for rival towns with competing pine nut-based festivals. So you've just gotta excuse me, but I've got bigger fish to fry."

1) "Please! Your uncle wouldn't listen to me, but I know you're the better man. I know you won't ignore your duty!"
1
["Please! Your uncle wouldn't listen to me, but I know you're the better man. I know you won't ignore your duty!"]

"Well, it's true Unk could be a little lazy on days ending with 'y'. I tell you what--I'll investigate this, and I'll do it nice and thorough."

1) "Oh, thank goodness! All your uncle did was sit around and wait for me to bring him a piece of evidence."
1
["Oh, thank goodness! All your uncle did was sit around and wait
for me to bring him a piece of evidence."]

The deputy shakes his head. "I love the man, but he doesn't exactly like to sweat. I'd never sit around and wait for just one piece of evidence. I'm gonna need to look at at least three good ones before taking action. You find me three things that demonstrate that something weird and out of the ordinary is going on, I'll have no choice but to believe you."

1) "Look at this pie. It's unnatural!"
2) "That's all I've got right now."
1
["Look at this pie. It's unnatural!"]

"Hmm. That certainly is an unpleasant looking pie." Deputy Wilcox looks more closely at the pulsating pastry. "I don't think any woman in this town could or would bake such a monstrosity!"

1) "That's all I've got right now."
1
["That's all I've got right now."]

He tips his hat. "Later, Miss."

All paths lead here, to the paved center of the town square. A large bronze statue of Canyonville's founder, Charles Fobb, towers over you. The festival surrounds you on all sides--east to the midway, west to the exit, south to the Tomorrow Pavilion, and north to the annual Judging of the Pies.

You can see Deputy Wilcox here.

A sudden eruption of ear-splitting demands for candy is followed, moments later, by an exhausted-looking woman towing a red-faced, shrieking little boy. The noise persists for some time as she drags him off in the direction of the exit.
You look at Deputy
Buck Wilcox's nephew, a slim, brown-haired kid no more than twenty. He really cares about upholding the law, and more than that, making sure Canyonville is a nice place to live. His hobbies include planting trees and then getting cats out of them.

An unattended dog thumps into your shin as it runs past, panting in the warm weather. It disappears into a forest of legs.
You describe your surroundings
All paths lead here, to the paved center of the town square. A large bronze statue of Canyonville's founder, Charles Fobb, towers over you. The festival surrounds you on all sides--east to the midway, west to the exit, south to the Tomorrow Pavilion, and north to the annual Judging of the Pies.

You can see Deputy Wilcox here.
You examine Fobb
A large bronze statue of the town's founder. He's got some swell muttonchops!
You go east
Rows of games line the midway here, creating a noisy, colorful passage between the town square center to the west and a gloomy-looking haunted house ride to the south. The most prominent booth is a shooting gallery containing several rows of ducks and a BB gun.

A carny slouches against the booth.
You examine carny
Gosh, he sure looks like an awful shady customer!
You talk to the carny
[Picture number 7 here.]

The carny looks you over. "Well, who's this raven-haired beauty? Looks a little like me at that age. Better hope that don't work the other way around, huh? Look, I'm kiddin', kid, relax, that's a joke. But seriously, you gonna give my games a shot or ain't ya?

1) "Who are you?"
1
["Who are you?"]

"I'm Barney. Barney the Carny. Who are you, Quizzy the Question Girl? C'mon, I got prizes here. Broads dig prizes."

1) "What's your game, Barney?"
1
["What's your game, Barney?"]

"I gotta shooting gallery, mostly. You shoot BBs at ducks usin' that gun. If you win, you pick up this beauty!" He holds up a trophy. It's made of some kind of strange metal that radiates a sickly yellow-green glow.

1) "That glow! That metal--that can help me prove what's going on! Please! I really, really need that!"
1
["That glow! That metal--that can help me prove what's going on! Please! I really, really need that!"]

"Well", the carny laughs, "then you'd better hope you're good at shootin' ducks."

1) "How does your shooting gallery work?"
2) "I'm done talking!"
2
["I'm done talking!"]

"Yeah, yeah. See ya in the funny pages, toots."

Rows of games line the midway here, creating a noisy, colorful passage between the town square center to the west and a gloomy-looking haunted house ride to the south. The most prominent booth is a shooting gallery containing several rows of ducks and a BB gun.

A carny slouches against the booth.
You take the bb gun
As you pick up the gun, a cheery tune begins playing, and the booth is awash in light. With a grinding kachunk the ducks begin moving.

1) Get ready...
1
[Get ready...]

A tin duck zips across the gallery!

1) Shoot it with the BB gun.
2) Shoot it with the cosmic ray gun.
1
[Shoot it with the BB gun.]

You fire the gun at the ducks. Pow! Plink! Pop! You miss them all as the shots veer widely off course from anywhere you aimed. Why, you're lucky you didn't put somebody's eye out! The carny laughs at you. "Hey, better luck next time, kid".

Rows of games line the midway here, creating a noisy, colorful passage between the town square center to the west and a gloomy-looking haunted house ride to the south. The most prominent booth is a shooting gallery containing several rows of ducks and a BB gun.

A carny slouches against the booth.
2
[Shoot it with the cosmic ray gun.]

The ray shoots straight and true, melting the ducks into little piles of molten slag. The carny grumbles a bit, but a deal's a deal. He presses the trophy into your hot little hands.

Rows of games line the midway here, creating a noisy, colorful passage between the town square center to the west and a gloomy-looking haunted house ride to the south. The most prominent booth is a shooting gallery containing several rows of ducks and a BB gun.

A carny slouches against the booth.
You examine trophy
It's warm and softly glowing in an unearthly sort of way. Other than that, it looks like an ordinary trophy which appears to actually be for bowling.
Go west
All paths lead here, to the paved center of the town square. A large bronze statue of Canyonville's founder, Charles Fobb, towers over you. The festival surrounds you on all sides--east to the midway, west to the exit, south to the Tomorrow Pavilion, and north to the annual Judging of the Pies.

You can see Deputy Wilcox here.
You talk to Deputy
[Picture number 8 here.]

"Back again, huh? How're you're enjoyin' the fair, Miss Noodleman?"

1) "Look at this trophy. This is no normal metal!"
2) "That's all I've got right now."
1
["Look at this trophy. This is no normal metal!"]

"Why, you're right! It's like nothing I've ever seen before--almost as if it came from--from another world!"

1) "That's all I've got right now."
1
["That's all I've got right now."]

He tips his hat. "Later, Miss."

All paths lead here, to the paved center of the town square. A large bronze statue of Canyonville's founder, Charles Fobb, towers over you. The festival surrounds you on all sides--east to the midway, west to the exit, south to the Tomorrow Pavilion, and north to the annual Judging of the Pies.

You can see Deputy Wilcox here.
You go east
Rows of games line the midway here, creating a noisy, colorful passage between the town square center to the west and a gloomy-looking haunted house ride to the south. The most prominent booth is a shooting gallery containing several rows of ducks and a BB gun.

A carny slouches against the booth.
Go south
You're standing on the porch of a creepy haunted house. From inside, you can hear tinny recordings of booming laughter and creaking hinges. A small car rests on a track. A noisy midway lies to the north, and a glittering, futuristic pavilion to the west.

An elegantly lettered sign has been nailed to the front door.

You can also see a glass case (closed) (in which is a tombstone) and a small car here.
You look at the sign
This crisply painted black and white sign bears the following text:

"NOTICE:

Due to the high levels of bone-chilling fear generated by this terrifying ride, management is pleased to offer this complimentary tombstone to any fairgoer who dies of fright while within the haunted house."
You examine the tombstone
It's made out of some kind of yellow-green crystalline substance that's glowing faintly. You've never seen a gem that looks quite like it. The rough, primal surface has been marred with a crude carving reading "Your Name Here? MWA HA HA"
You shoot the glass
The ray passes right through it. Darn glass!
You get in the car
You hop into the car, which rolls forward into the haunted house. A metal cuff snaps shut around your wrist. What an experience! The laziness and lack of attention to detail on the part of the staff is truly TERRIFYING! The implications of this shoddy workmanship, when you consider the importance of the American work ethic to beating the Russians, are enough to fill you with BONE-CHILLING FRIGHT! However, you don't actually die. As the car creaks its way past the last cardboard tombstone and into the light, the cuff on your wrist squeezes and a hidden heart monitor beeps. "Ah, a heartbeat! You've managed to survive!" a recorded voice chortles tinnily, "...THIS TIME!"

The car reaches the end of the track and stops with a jolt before letting you back out onto the porch.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a glowing trophy
a gruesome glowing pie
a physical results chart
a cosmic ray gun
a blue box (open)
a whole bunch of blue pills
a green canister (open)
a whole bunch of green pills
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
Go west
A spacious plaza glittering with the promise of tomorrow. The center of the town square is to the north, and a spooky-looking haunted house lies to the east. The Car of Tomorrow gleams enticingly from on top of a raised dais. There is also a small kiosk distributing the Ice Cream of Tomorrow.

The Wife of Tomorrow is standing here, looking pretty and waiting for someone to talk to her.
You examine Wife
Her face is molded into a friendly simper, and below that she's made of shiny, snow-white plastic with a one-inch waist. This must be what wives are going to look like tomorrow.
You talk to Wife
[Picture number 9 here.]

"Hello I am W.I.F.E. (Wireless Intelligent Female, Electronic), another fine product of Minsystems Labs and your guide to the Wonders of Tomorrow! You can ask me about any part of the pavilion to learn more. As this prototype lacks a number of our exciting upcoming features such as social analysis and reaction diodes, for purposes of this demonstration I will be assuming that you are an affluent middle-aged man named Dave Johnson who is interested in purchasing me to impress the clients of his medium-sized ad agency. What would you like to know, Dave?"

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Can I take you for a test, er, walk?"
5) "Let's stop talking for now."
1
["Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"]

"Sure, Dave! The Car of Tomorrow is a sleek, state-of-the-art driving machine. It contains over two tons of steel and can reach speeds of one-hundred-forty miles per hour when dragged at high speed along a magnetic track by specially designed robots. The Car of Tomorrow is capable of running on unrefined oil and blocks of shale, has high-quality Texture-Tronic plastic seating for up to ten people, boasts Drive-Rite Suspension and foot-powered Auto-Stop braking technology, and is a delightful shade of cherry red. The Car of Tomorrow will be available to consumers by mid-1961, by which time it may also fly. Until then, enjoy this inert plywood prototype...and remember, tomorrow is calling!

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Can I take you for a test, er, walk?"
5) "Let's stop talking for now."
2
["Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"]

"Sure, Dave! The Ice Cream of Tomorrow is a polymolecular bovine-emission based organic substance displaying hyperminimal atomic vibration. It's also absolutely scrumptious!"

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Can I take you for a test, er, walk?"
5) "Let's stop talking for now."
3
["Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"]

"Sure, Dave! I am a state-of-the-art, fully operational artificial wife, capable of completing all necessary functions at the fraction of the power use of a standard wife. I can cook a wide variety of dishes, clean and fold laundry, and laugh when I detect jokes made within my amusement radius. Best of all, my chest cavity--wastefully stocked with nothing more than a heart and lungs in those other wives--contains an ice machine, tumbler dispenser, and a bottle of the finest aged Scotch!"

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Gee, can I have some of that fancy Scotch?"
5) "Can I take you for a test, er, walk?"
6) "Let's stop talking for now."
5
["Can I take you for a test, er, walk?"]

"Right away, Dave!"

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Gee, can I have some of that fancy Scotch?"
5) "Wait here for a moment."
6) "Let's stop talking for now."
6
["Let's stop talking for now."]

"You know best, dear!"

A spacious plaza glittering with the promise of tomorrow. The center of the town square is to the north, and a spooky-looking haunted house lies to the east. The Car of Tomorrow gleams enticingly from on top of a raised dais. There is also a small kiosk distributing the Ice Cream of Tomorrow.

The Wife of Tomorrow is standing here, looking pretty and waiting for someone to talk to her.
Go east
You're standing on the porch of a creepy haunted house. From inside, you can hear tinny recordings of booming laughter and creaking hinges. A small car rests on a track. A noisy midway lies to the north, and a glittering, futuristic pavilion to the west.

An elegantly lettered sign has been nailed to the front door.

You can also see a glass case (closed) (in which is a tombstone) and a small car here.

The Wife of Tomorrow rolls dutifully up behind you.
You put Wife in Car
(first taking The Wife of Tomorrow)
The Wife of Tomorrow is too heavy for your fragile little arms to lift.
You get in Car
Nice girls start up a conversation with people if they want to talk about something, instead of just spitting out orders like some kind of drill sergeant! If you can't find a way to bring it up in conversation, well, then it's probably not something you need to talk about anyway.
You talk to Wife
[Picture number 9 here.]

"Hello again, Dave. How was your day?"

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Gee, can I have some of that fancy Scotch?"
5) "Wait here for a moment."
6) "Let's stop talking for now."
4
["Gee, can I have some of that fancy Scotch?"]

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave." The Wife of Tomorrow winks saucily. "Why buy the cow if she gives away the Scotch for free?"

1) "Can you tell me about the Car of Tomorrow?"
2) "Can you tell me about the Ice Cream of Tomorrow?"
3) "Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
4) "Wait here for a moment."
5) "Let's stop talking for now."
5
["Let's stop talking for now."]

"You know best, dear!"

You're standing on the porch of a creepy haunted house. From inside, you can hear tinny recordings of booming laughter and creaking hinges. A small car rests on a track. A noisy midway lies to the north, and a glittering, futuristic pavilion to the west.

The Wife of Tomorrow is standing here, looking pretty and waiting for someone to talk to her.

An elegantly lettered sign has been nailed to the front door.

You can also see a glass case (closed) (in which is a tombstone) and a small car here.
You get in Car
You hop into the car. "Well, if you say so, dear," says the Wife of Tomorrow, following you in. Metal cuffs snap shut around both your wrists as the car rolls forward into the haunted house. The Wife of Tomorrow emits eeks at regular intervals every time a rubber bat or bored teenager in a mummy costume appears.

At the end of the ride, the cuffs squeeze tight around both your wrist and that of the Wife of Tomorrow, and a hidden heart monitor beeps. "What's this?" a recorded voice says with an oily air of triumph. "It appears that the terror was too much for someone's poor old heart. Why, there's not a hint of a beat left! A promise is a
promise...."

The glass case slides open.
You go north
Rows of games line the midway here, creating a noisy, colorful passage between the town square center to the west and a gloomy-looking haunted house ride to the south. The most prominent booth is a shooting gallery containing several rows of ducks and a BB gun.

A carny slouches against the booth.

The Wife of Tomorrow rolls dutifully up behind you.
You go west
All paths lead here, to the paved center of the town square. A large bronze statue of Canyonville's founder, Charles Fobb, towers over you. The festival surrounds you on all sides--east to the midway, west to the exit, south to the Tomorrow Pavilion, and north to the annual Judging of the Pies.

You can see Deputy Wilcox here.

The Wife of Tomorrow rolls dutifully up behind you.
You show the tombstone to Deputy
[Picture number 8 here.]

"Back again, huh? How're you're enjoyin' the fair, Miss Noodleman?"

1) "Look at this glowing tombstone. It's freakish! Freakish, I tell you!"
2) "That's all I've got right now."
1
["Look at this glowing tombstone. It's freakish! Freakish, I tell you!"]

"Freakish--that's the word for it, all right. It's certainly not good old Canyonville rock. Why, I don't think it's even American!"

1) Confront the deputy about all three pieces of evidence. You're done poking around this festival--it's time to get justice for Jimmy and his poor brain, no matter what the consequences!
2) "That's all I've got right now."
1
[Confront the deputy about all three pieces of evidence. You're
done poking around this festival--it's time to get justice for Jimmy and his poor brain, no matter what the consequences!]

"I...I just can't deny it anymore," the deputy says, taking the objects to examine. "There's something mighty strange going on. I don't know if it's brain guzzlers or regular guzzlers, and I certainly ain't convinced they hail from space, but I aim to find out."

The Deputy pulls his gun and checks the bullets. "Just so happens, I've got an idea. As long as everyone stays calm, we should have the situation cleared up in a few minutes. Now, first thing we're gonna do--"

A piercing scream rings out across the fairgrounds! A moment later, Mary Jane appears, her dress torn and her tattered sash streaming out behind her. "Aliens!" she screams. "Aliens are attacking the festival!" You look in the direction she came from. It's true! Huge, jiggling shapes are oozing their way through the crowd. They look a little like gelatin molds being held up close to a camera and shaken vigorously, except for the tentacles, long and thick like pythons and dripping with glowing goop. More screams. Festival-goers are starting to panic. The calm before the storm is over--the Brain Guzzlers are making their move!

1) "Deputy Wilcox! You're the law here. Do something!"
2) "Mary Jane! Your people need you now more than ever. It's time to show you're a real Pine Nut Queen!"
2
["Mary Jane! Your people need you now more than ever. It's time
to show you're a real Pine Nut Queen!"]

Mary Jane looks at you with wild eyes. "Are you bonkers?" she screeches. "I abdicate!"

The lead Brain Guzzler--at least, it's the one in front--stretches one tentacle over to the Tomorrow Pavilion, picks up the Car of Tomorrow, and pitches it at you like a javelin. Deputy Wilcox drops backwards into the dirt, knocking you and Mary Jane down next to him. You watch the Undercarriage of Tomorrow sail overhead and hear the car smash into the midway with a sound of splintering wood and the clang of steel on tin.

"Huh," the deputy says. "Bit ornery. Just ta be safe, I think you ladies oughtta make for the designated shelter area in Harding Tunnel. I'll come and get ya once these fellas an' I--" He ducks as an I-beam nearly decapitates him. "--have had a bit of a palaver."

1) Run away!
1
[Run away!]

You pelt down Main Street at top speed as Mary Jane struggles to keep up barefoot, having lost her high heels back at the fair. The screams of the festivalgoers echo down the empty street like water gurgling down a pipe. Wait and observe--set a few traps--then wait for everyone to gather in one place...those aliens have got to be smarter than the mindless blobs they look like. No wonder they're so fond of brains.

As you reach the Saguaro Road intersection, you stop short. Mary Jane lets out another ear-splitting shriek. It looks like the monsters weren't counting on everyone being at the fair after all. One of them is oozing in from the north, two more from the west, and the biggest one yet is slobbering in from the south like a tidal wave of yellow-green goop. You're surrounded! You back away as the guzzlers close in.

"Gotcha!" hisses a voice, and something warm and slimy closes around your wrist.

1) Swing around and punch that monster square in the snoot!
2) Scream for help and try to pull away.
1
[Swing around and punch that monster square in the snoot!]

You whirl around, swinging your free hand in a wide arc, and end up punching Renee on the side of her head. "Ow!" she grunts, more startled than hurt--nobody ever accused you of being overly strong--and staggers back, just in time for you to lose your balance and topple forward into the diner, dragging Renee down with you. You both end up splayed on the linoleum. She shoves you off and struggles to her feet long enough to drag Mary Jane through the door, slam it shut, and throw the deadbolt.

"You see them too, right?" she says, turning to you. "I'm not crazy? They're really here?"

1) "Yes, and golly, are they ever dangerous, and they're no dummies, either! We're in such a deep pickle right now!"
1
["Yes, and golly, are they ever dangerous, and they're no dummies, either! We're in such a deep pickle right now!"]

Renee sighs. "Be careful what you wish for, I guess. Listen--I don't think they know I'm in here. We can hole up for a while if we have to. Might get pretty sick of burgers, but as long as we don't alert them--"

Mary Jane lets out an ear-splitting shriek that nearly snaps your last nerve. You can't see anything in the diner, but Mary Jane just keeps screaming and bawling.

1) "Shhh!"
2) Grab her and put your hand over her mouth.
3) Give her a good hard slap!
3
[Give her a good hard slap!]

Crakk!

Mary Jane blinks. "You--you hit me!" she says, looking more
surprised than hurt.

"We'll all get a lot worse than a baby slap from flipping Bonnie Noodleman if you don't cut that out!" Renee hisses. "What on Earth is wrong with you?"

Mary Jane holds out her arm, which is smeared with red. "I'm bleeding. I think--I think I'm dying!"

Renee rolls her eyes. "That's beef juice, you dip. I was in
the middle of making patties when I grabbed you. Now quiet down and hope to God that they didn't just hear--"

A tentacle smashes through the front window, covering the diner in broken glass and goo. Mary Jane lets out another piercing scream. Even Renee makes a strangled squeak.

1) "Run for it!"
2) "We have to fight!"
2
["We have to fight!"]

Renee nods at you. "Right," she says, "help me pull up these stools. We'll go back to back."

"Wh-what about me?" Mary Jane sniffles.

"Just try not to knock either of us down when you faint."

Waves of ooze begin slopping over the broken windowsill and slithering purposefully across the floor towards you. Renee kicks at one, but it's like stepping in a mud puddle--she almost loses a sneaker.

"We can't fight this stuff!" she moans. "We've gotta retreat. Out the back on three?"

1) (nod) "One..."
1
[(nod) "One..."]

The fryer suddenly explodes in a shower of grease and goo as a half-fried tentacle forces its way through the wall, reaching for you with ropy strands of sizzling, popping slime. "Twothreegogogo!" Renee shouts as the three of you scurry to the backdoor. The diner roof collapses behind you under several tons of hungry brain guzzler, sending up a cloud of plaster dust.

You crash through the back door and sprint desperately for the sidewalk. The monsters are everywhere now, tentacles questing in every direction, but you somehow avoid them, ducking, dodging, even hurdling one of the smaller ones. You head north. There don't seem to be as many along Saguaro. You can hear the girls breathing heavily on either side of you. You all made it! Now if you can just reach the tunnel--

Like a green landslide, a brain guzzler the size of a house slides down the slope of Make-Out Mountain, its surface a forest of tentacles.

1) "Oh my gosh!"
2) "Holy cow!"
3) "Jeepers jipes!"
4) You're so shocked, you actually say the f-word.
4
[You're so shocked, you actually say the f-word.]

"FIDDLESTICKS!"

You're petrified. It's huge. It's horrible. It's got to be the mother of all brain guzzlers. It's probably the one that ate Jimmy! Your feet feel like they're glued to the spot as a deep, primal fear bubbles up in your gut. Before you lies a sea of undulating goo, and the tide is coming in.

Mary Jane passes you. She's screaming her head off, yes, but she's also actually moving instead of standing like a statue. It's
like having an ambulance drive past your ear, and somehow it breaks the spell. You run.

The three of you stagger through the entrance of the tunnel, a tidal wave of slime following you. A tentacle the size of a redwood slams into the cliffside. You can hear rock shattering and falling. Another tentacle. Another crash. The tunnel is collapsing!

You run forward into the darkness until you can no longer hear the sound of tumbling rocks. "Everyone--okay?" Renee gasps. Mary Jane whimpers. You check yourself over. You might have dropped a few of the things you were carrying back there somewhere, but you're not bleeding and nothing seems to be broken.

A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. Tons of rocks block the road to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. You can see a heavy steel grate set into the wall here.

Renee Finch is lying flat on her back, recovering.

Mary Jane Minsky is sitting with her knees against her forehead, looking miserable.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You look around
A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. Tons of rocks block the road to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. You can see a heavy steel grate set into the wall here.

Renee Finch is lying flat on her back, recovering.

Mary Jane Minsky is sitting with her knees against her forehead, looking miserable.
You talk to Mary Jane
Mary Jane looks up at you, her eyes ringed with red. "I can't believe I just ran off and left Jenny back at the fair. What if those
things got her?" She puts her face in her hands and weeps.
You go to the northeast
A police car has skidded and crashed into the side of the tunnel here, its lights filling the surrounding blackness with harsh flashes of red and blue. You can see the dimly-lit tunnel continuing to the southwest. Northeast and further in is nothing but pitch darkness.
Go northeast
Jeepers, there could be anything down there! Wandering off into the darkness is just how they got Jimmy.
You examine Car
It looks like the driver lost control of the vehicle. The front end is completely smashed, but you can probably still get the car open if you want to. About all you can make out inside is a vaguely human shape slumped over the wheel.
You open Car
You grab the handle and pull as hard as you can. At first it seems to be jammed, but with a little effort and a few terribly unladylike grunts that you're glad nobody heard, you manage to swing it open. Flopped across the steering wheel like a boneless goose is the body of Buck Wilcox. That is...most of it. His brain is gone. It's
been taken! No...guzzled!!
You examine Wilcox
Even Officer Wilcox didn't deserve to die like this! The one consolation is that his brain appears to have been pulled out through his ear before the car hit the wall, so at least he didn't
suffer. He's been splattered by that greenish-yellow goo the Brain Guzzlers leave everywhere, and you spot a few flecks of something solid in it. On closer inspection, they appear to be fragments of eggshell.
You go to the south-west
A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. Tons of rocks block the road to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. You can see a heavy steel grate set into the wall here.

Renee Finch is back on her feet, sweaty but more-or-less recovered. She's examining the grate.

Mary Jane Minsky is sitting with her knees against her forehead, looking miserable.
You go southwest
All those darn rocks are going to keep you from going out that way!
You look at the grate
The grate is covering the entrance to some kind of tunnel. Tiny engraved letters read  "Minsystems Labs Exhaust Vent C. No sneaking in through."
You take grate
You grunt and strain, but it's really in there! It would probably take at least three people working together to pull it out.
You talk to Renee
"Hey, Bonnie. I think we can get this grate off if we all pull together. Give me a hand, huh?"

1) "Let me look around a little more first."
2) "Sure! Let's do it!"
2
["Sure! Let's do it!"]

"Great! Okay, on three. One. Two. THREE!" You and Renee pull on the grate as hard as you can, but it doesn't come loose. "We could use a little help here, your highness," Renee hisses through
clenched teeth. Mary Jane stands up, a little sullenly, and grips the bars. Between the three of you, the grate shifts a little, then pulls free in a shower of loose pebbles and concrete dust, sending you sprawling across the asphalt.

"Great," Renee says, standing up. "Okay, Miss Sharp Elbows, since I had the honor of cushioning your fall, you can have the honor of going up first."

1) Up you go!
1
[Up you go!]

You scramble up the narrow vent. It's dark, hot, and a tight squeeze, but you can smell tobacco smoke from somewhere above you, and hear a scratchy Perry Como record playing, so at least they've got the basics of civilization up there. The others follow you in. After more climbing than you want to think about, you come to another grate in the side of the vent.

1) Take a little peek through the grate.
2) Push the grate open.
1
[Take a little peek through the grate.]

Through the slats of the grate, you can see a pleasant modernist living room. The music is coming from a Hi-Fi set next to a comfortable-looking leather easy chair.

Renee taps your foot. "Um, Bonnie? Why are we stopping?"

1) "I think we're about to break into someone's house."
2) Push the grate open.
1
["I think we're about to break into someone's house."]

"Yeah, well, unless you want to go back to just sitting on our butts being buried alive until we're starving, and then arm-wrestle me to find out which of us gets to eat Mary Jane, I think we're gonna have to live with it."

1) Push the grate open.
1
[Push the grate open.]

You push the grate out into the room and slide out into a comfortable-looking living room lined with bookshelves and lit by a collection of Tiffany lamps. Renee emerges next, and whistles. "Nice place. Especially for the inside of a mountain."

Mary Jane slides out of the hole. "Thank you," she says politely, her voice cracking. "I p-picked the lamps myself. Now if you'll excuse me...I-think...I need some time alone. I'll just hop off t-to my room!"

1) "Wait, Mary Jane, is this your house?"
1
["Wait, Mary Jane, is this your house?"]

She nods. "H-help yourself to anything in the ki--ki--kitchen!"

With a wail, Mary Jane rushes off to the northwest, her eyes wet and her face white as a sheet. You see a brief glimpse of a room festooned with ruffles and pink before the door slams behind her.

This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east, but the southwest and east exits are currently blocked by heavy-duty security shutters. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You look at the book
(the Canyonville High yearbook)
(You turn to the Table of Contents)

1) Foreword: Advice for Today's Teen-Ager
2) Our Students: Pioneers at the Dawn of Tomorrow
3) Our Community: A Heritage of Superbness
4) (Close the yearbook)
4
[(Close the yearbook)]

This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east, but the southwest and east exits are currently blocked by heavy-duty security shutters. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You look athe leather-bound book
A thick book with raised embossing and gold corners around a rather lewd-looking tableau of a well-endowed peasant girl. Goodness!
You realeather-bound book
Renee probaby wouldn't want you reading over her shoulder. It's not that important, anyway!
Go upward
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath the oranges and pinks of an evening sky. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
Examine mug
A huge coffee mug brimming with steaming, fresh-roasted coffee. It's gigantic! You could probably keep fish in here without them feeling cramped in the least, although they might have other problems. "The Doctor Said I Had To Cut Down To One Cup A Day" is printed on the side, so maybe it started off as a gag gift.
You talk to the Professor
[Picture number 10 here.]

"My word!" the professor says, looking up. "A survivor! So the townsfolk haven't been entirely wiped out after all. Mary Jane will be thrilled one of you made it. She's always been more at ease with the hoi polloi."

1) "I'm not the only survivor."
2) "Are you Mary Jane's father?"
1
["I'm not the only survivor."]

"Gee, Professor, I'm not the only one who made it past the Brain Guzzlers. There's me, Bonnie Noodleman--and my friend Renee--and Mary Jane is back, too, safe and sound!"

The professor blinks. "Back? What do you mean?"

"Well, wasn't she at the festival? As the Pine Nut Queen?"

"Nonsense!" he scoffs. "I've devoted my life to the pursuit of science, as has my daughter. I've strictly forbidden her to waste her intellect on all this populist fiddle-faddle. Go ahead; check her room if you don't believe me."

1) "Sure, she's in her room now..."
1
["Sure, she's in her room now..."]

"You see? Right where she should be." The professor peers at you. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm a very busy man. This Brain-Utilizing Brain-Unguzzler isn't going to finish inventing itself!"

1) "What's that you're building?"
2) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."]

"Unfortunately, Miss Noodleman, I have more questions than answers myself. But I will endeavor to enlighten you in any way I can."

1) "Where did these awful things come from?"
2) "Why do they guzzle brains, anyway?"
3) "Once we defeat them--what happens next?"
1
["Where did these awful things come from?"]

"Fascinating question! Our best guess, based on the approach vector of several unidentified flying objects detected over the past 24 hours, is that they originate somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto. Though of course it's theoretically possible that they came from elsewhere and simply passed Pluto on the way. As I said, there's much we don't know."

1) "What's that you're building?"
2) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["Why do they guzzle brains, anyway?"]

"A scientific mystery! Perhaps it's some crude form of communication. Perhaps they seek to guzzle some vital chemical, found within our brains, and only incidentally guzzle the entire organ. Perhaps this is all some sort of intelligence test--they may, in truth, be as far above us as we are above common laboratory rats or the indolent Swede."

1) "What's that you're building?"
2) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
3
["Once we defeat them--what happens next?"]

"Difficult to say. Much of the planet is likely already unrecoverable. This impenetrable lab may act as an ark of technology and biological material, keeping us and our precious brains safely unguzzled until we may exit to rebuild the world in our own image. Or perhaps the military will succeed in driving the creatures off, and we'll simply have a great deal of mopping to do."

1) "What's that you're building?"
2) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
1
["What's that you're building?"]

"The Brain-Utilizing Brain-Unguzzler, or 'BUBU', also known as our planet's last, best hope for survival in the face of this Brain Guzzler onslaught."

1) "And just how does this 'BUBU' thingamajig work?"
2) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
1
["And just how does this 'BUBU' thingamajig work?"]

"Perspicacious question, Miss Noodleman. The BUBU, or 'Brain-Utilizing Brain-Unguzzler', is an atomically powered device which uses radiation waves to reverse the magnetic flux of any material which originates from outer space, essentially using the Brain Guzzlers' own biological energy against them. Of course, every child has done the simple experiment in which water is slowly heated until a frog is boiled alive without even thinking to hop out of the pan. Now imagine the frog and the pan were on opposite ends of a table, and yet by making folds in the fabric, we could bring them together without the frog needing to pass over the entire tablecloth. That's essentially the principle the BUBU uses, minus the frog, of course." He sighs. "Or rather, it's the principle that it would use if I had all the
parts I needed."

He wheels out a blackboard. "The components listed here are...the bulk of what's required. Feel free to take a look at it when we're done talking."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"]

"I appreciate that, young lady."

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath the oranges and pinks of an evening sky. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
You read the blackboard
The blackboard is covered with chalk diagrams and chicken-scratch writing. One whole section of it is taken up with a checklist of components, reading as follows:

Micro-Mini Computer
Brain Guzzler DNA Sample
Purified Fructonium
20,000-Ton Impenetrable Steel Chassis
Spork

You carefully jot down the components on a sheet of loose-leaf paper. Now you can keep track of what you've got and what you need to find. It sure does feel swell to be neat and organized!

"Excellent!" the Professor notes. "I suppose I'll have to risk opening the internal security shutters so you can search the house. Fortunately this facility remains completely impregnable from the outside, so it shouldn't be an issue."

He fiddles with something or other, and you hear the sound of heavy shutters clattering open on the floor below.
Go downwards
This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You go to the southwest
It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.

You can see a fork and a spoon here.
You examine the spoon
It's a completely average spoon.
You look at the telepad
A flat, smooth sheet of tempered glass built into the counter. A large yellow button next to it is labeled "TELEPORT".
You take all
fork: Taken.
spoon: Taken.
You put the fork on the telepad
You put the fork on the telepad.
You put the spoon on the telepad
You put the spoon on the telepad.
You look at your surroundings
It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.
You look at the town
This room must be the part of the building that hangs out over the cliff, because all you can see is a magnificent aerial overlook of Canyonville. The sun is setting over the mountains to the west, giving the houses long shadows. You can see a column of army tanks rolling down Saguaro Road, flanked by rows of jeeps.
You go to the northwest
You jiggle the handle. It's locked! You can hear Mary Jane playing marching band music at high volume on the other side.
Go east
A long arched hallway of frosted glass running east and west. The light of sunset tinges the serene blue of the carpet with orange and gold. The room is lined with displays, each featuring another brilliant MinSystems invention--two especially impressive ones are the weapons display and the transportation display. Heavy glass doors lead into the main MinSystems offices to the east, while a cozy foyer at the other end of the hall leads to the Minskys' private home.
You examine the transportation display
This display details "a brilliant advance in remote delivery technology." It contains a white pod which looks something like a giant egg.
You look at the weapons display
The display concerns a "multi-target disintegration device" designed for a "wide range of military and civilian uses" known as the "RPS Cannon." A prototype of the cannon is propped up, aiming at a paper target hanging from the ceiling.
You take pod
(the telepod)
Taken.
Examine pod
(the telepod)
A large, egg-shaped pod about the size of a garbage can, but lightweight enough for you to lift. There's a closed hatch in the side.
You open the pod
(the telepod)
You open the telepod, revealing a spork.
You take spork
Hooray! Once you give this to the professor, you'll be one spork's-length closer to your very own superweapon!
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a spork
a telepod (open but empty)
a RPS cannon
a checklist
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You read the checklist
A neat little copy of the checklist on the blackboard, which you can use to keep track of the BUBU components you still need to give to the Professor. It reads:

Micro-Mini Computer
Brain Guzzler DNA Sample
Purified Fructonium
20,000-Ton Impenetrable Steel Chassis
Spork
Go west
This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
Go downward
You brace your legs against the sides of the vent and descend in a controlled slide.

A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. Tons of rocks block the road to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. There's an open exhaust vent in the wall here, leading UP.
You go to the northeast
A police car has skidded and crashed into the side of the tunnel here, its lights filling the surrounding blackness with harsh flashes of red and blue. You can see the dimly-lit tunnel continuing to the southwest. Northeast and further in is nothing but pitch darkness.
You look in Car
In the police car are some fragments of eggshell and a body.
You take the eggshell
You pick them off of his clothing. There's a big clump of them near his feet, too. You've got almost the whole shell, now. Good for you, Bonnie! Helping Mother in the kitchen really paid off!
You examine the body
Even Officer Wilcox didn't deserve to die like this! The one consolation is that his brain appears to have been pulled out through his ear before the car hit the wall, so at least he didn't
suffer.
You go southwest
A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. Tons of rocks block the road to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. There's an open exhaust vent in the wall here, leading UP.
You go upwards
You scrabble back up the dark exhaust vent.

This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You go to the east
A long arched hallway of frosted glass running east and west. The light of sunset tinges the serene blue of the carpet with orange and gold. The room is lined with displays, each featuring another brilliant MinSystems invention--two especially impressive ones are the weapons display and the transportation display. Heavy glass doors lead into the main MinSystems offices to the east, while a cozy foyer at the other end of the hall leads to the Minskys' private home.

You can see a paper target here.
You go to the east
You open the doors a crack. An oozing tentacle shoots towards you! You quickly slam the door and throw the emergency lock. Your brief glimpses of the offices were enough to tell you they're totally overrun with Brain Guzzlers--you're not getting out that way!
You examine Cannon
A sleek, futuristic gun with three brass barrels. It's bulky and looks powerful, but it's light enough to hold in one hand. There's a dial you can turn on the side under a display. Currently the display is showing an image of a hand with the index and middle fingers extended, like a sideways peace sign.
You examine the display
Which do you mean, the weapons display or the transportation display?
You turn the dial
You turn the dial until you hear a click. Now the display shows a hand curled into a fist.
You turn the dial
You turn the dial until you hear a click. Now the display shows a hand with the palm and all five fingers lying flat.
You turn the dial
You turn the dial until you hear a click. Now the display shows a hand with the index and middle fingers extended.
Go west
This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You talk to Renee
[Picture number 11 here.]

"Hey, Bonnie." Renee smiles tiredly. "That was a heck of a thing. Now what are we supposed to do?"

1) "We need to rescue more people!"
2) "We need to destroy those things!"
3) "It doesn't matter. We're safe now."
1
["We need to rescue more people!"]

"Yeah, no kidding." Renee bites her lip. "Dad was at that festival. At least Mom was out of town--gosh, you don't think this is happening in other places, too, do you? It was just so...I was...I was at the diner, like always. I was in the middle of making hamburgers for crying out loud!"

She wipes a smudge of dirt off of her cheek. "That diner was--I lived there. I worked there every--every day. And now it's just--it didn't even take them two minutes to tear that place up. Like it was nothing."

1) "That must have hurt. I know how much you loved that place."
2) "Shouldn't you be happy? I thought you hated working there."
1
["That must have hurt. I know how much you loved that
place."]

"It should have hurt. It was scary as heck, that's for sure. But I--I--this is horrible, but part of me sort of enjoyed it. I won't ever have to stand over that stupid grill again. I won't just have to stand there and take it when kids from school show up. There's a million little things that--I might be dead tomorrow, but at least I know those things are over, y'know?" She swallows.
"It's sick, but I just feel free now."

1) "What happened wasn't your fault."
2) (hug Renee)
2
[(hug Renee)]

Renee seems surprised, but after a moment, she hugs you back. "Thanks, Bonnie. I don't know why I'm worrying about a stupid building when my parents could be... could be dead."

1) "They're probably somewhere safe right now, just as worried about you."
2) "Your parents have been through so much! They're tough as nails." 3) "I guess any of us might get some bad news about our families when this is over, but there isn't much to be done about it right now."
3
["I guess any of us might get some bad news about our families
when this is over, but there isn't much to be done about it right now."]

"I guess," Renee says. "Can we talk about something else now?"

1) "What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for good science fiction?"
2) "Okay, I should go!"
1
["What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for
good science fiction?"]

"Somehow, science fiction doesn't seem so fun anymore. Not right now, at least." Renee holds up the book. "Period literature--Ye Goodwyfe's Bodice Overfloweth."

1) "What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for good science fiction?"
2) "Okay, I should go!"
2
["Okay, I should go!"]

"See ya!"

This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You examine the garden
Water-filled tubes cover the south wall of the kitchen. Lush fruit-bearing plants of every description practically drip from them, green and bursting with life. It doesn't look like there's any ripe fruit ready to pick at the moment.
You examine the checklist
A neat little copy of the checklist on the blackboard, which you can use to keep track of the BUBU components you still need to give to the Professor. It reads:

Micro-Mini Computer
Brain Guzzler DNA Sample
Purified Fructonium
20,000-Ton Impenetrable Steel Chassis
Spork
You take the plant
(That's just part of the set.)
Go northeast
This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You go upwards
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath the oranges and pinks of an evening sky. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
You talk tothe prof .
[Picture number 10 here.]

"Ah, greetings again, my young chum."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "These eggshells have got to be chock full of Deanna!"
7) "Got your spork, Professor!"
8) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
6
["These eggshells have got to be chock full of Deanna!"]

"That's 'DNA', but thank you, young chum! These are just what I was looking for."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "Got your spork, Professor!"
7) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
6
["Got your spork, Professor!"]

"Perfect!" The professor tosses the spork carelessly into the BUBU's inner workings.

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one
of those?"]

"If it helps, the perforation doesn't have to be neat. You can even do the job yourself if necessary. But the membrane must be quite large." The professor holds out his hands. "Imagine this, but much, much larger. At least the size of a wall, or the side of a house."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
3
["Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"]

"Why, use one of mine! You may not believe this, Miss Noodleman, but my latest design packs almost a full bit of processing power into an iron-plastic shell no heavier than twelve ordinary bowling balls! Sadly, I used the only working prototype as a brain for my revolutionary Wife of Tomorrow, and goodness knows where she is since the attack--off eating bon-bons, I expect."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
4
["Where can I find fructonium?"]

"Why, that's the atomic element which makes up fruit! Of course, we would need it in highly purified form, broken down to its most basic elemental state--difficult for all but the most talented botanical chemists. Good luck!"

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
5
["Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis
back here?"]

"The professor chuckles paternally. "Well, of course I wouldn't expect a mere girl to be able to lift so many thousands of tons. No, no, I've got a suitable chassis prepared, as a matter of fact--all I need from you is a nice design to use as a pattern. Something creative and pretty, anything you want, with one caveat--the BUBU will be vulnerable during the warm-up process, so in order to avoid suspicion, it must look exactly like a genuine Brain Guzzler spaceship.
Shouldn't be hard for a teen-ager like yourself, with your science fiction and your high schools and what not."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Gosh, professor, how am I supposed to get a 20,000-ton chassis back here?"
6) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
6
["I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"]

"I appreciate that, young lady."

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath the oranges and pinks of an evening sky. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
You talk to Renee
[Picture number 11 here.]

"Hey there."

1) "What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for good science fiction?"
2) "Renee, you're good with space things, right? Could you design a spaceship that would fool the Brain Guzzlers?"
3) "Okay, I should go!"
2
["Renee, you're good with space things, right? Could you design a spaceship that would fool the Brain Guzzlers?"]

"Well, they're basically just balls of gelatin that move towards food sources, so, yeah, probably. Here, try something like this." Renee rips a page out of the book and doodles a slick looking spaceship on it. It's perfect!

1) "What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for good science fiction?"
2) "Okay, I should go!"
2
["Okay, I should go!"]

"See ya!"

This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You go upwards
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath the oranges and pinks of an evening sky. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
You talk tothe prof .
[Picture number 10 here.]

"Ah, greetings again, my young chum."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "Professor, Renee drew this ship design..."
6) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
5
["Professor, Renee drew this ship design..."]

"That's just what we need!" the professor says. "Those slimy fiends will never see it coming, now!"

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find a micro-mini computer?"
4) "Where can I find fructonium?"
5) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
5
["I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"]

"I appreciate that, young lady."

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath the oranges and pinks of an evening sky. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a telepod (open but empty)
a RPS cannon
a checklist
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You examine the rocks
They're big and heavy, and oh boy, are there ever a lot of them.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a telepod (open but empty)
a RPS cannon
a checklist
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You turn the dial
You turn the dial until you hear a click. Now the display shows a hand curled into a fist.
You turn the dial
You turn the dial until you hear a click. Now the display shows a hand with the palm and all five fingers lying flat.
You shoot the the rocks
BA-THOOOM!

The RPS cannon emits a powerful lance of pure anti-rock, blasting the rockslide into vapor. For a moment, you think it didn't fully clear the hole. Then you breathe in the cool, fresh desert air and realize that night has fallen. The open road before you leads into darkness. What could be out there? Can Canyonville still be saved?
Look around
A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. The roads continues, exiting the tunnel to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. There's an open exhaust vent in the wall here, leading UP.
Go southwest
From here, the road plunges northeast into the sheer cliffs and curves gently southwest towards town. Twisted-looking pines frame the tunnel entrance itself, which is pitch black and smells moist and alive. Far above you, you can see the sleek modernist wedge of Minsystems Labs perched at the edge of the cliffs.
You go to the southwest
You're standing on Saguaro Road, in a part of town your mother doesn't like you going. A junkyard squats to the west, and to the east, an old barn has been painted black and blue and hung with a neon sign reading "The Beat Barn." A dirt road leads north to the drive-in, and Saguaro Road itself heads into town to the south and curves northeast into the woods.

The neon sign is lit up, casting a harsh blue glow over the asphalt.
Go east
The doorman turns up his pointy nose at the obvious square, but waves you inside anyway, muttering something about quail hunting.

A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

On the stage is Traudl Brandt.

You can also see a beatnik bodyguard here.
You look at Traudl
You've heard of her. She has a reputation, and not even a normal reputation, like girls who just park a little, but a really, really bad one--as in, she's European, and she's not even shy about
it! She's your age, but looks older, probably from fast living and a steady diet of coffee and funny-smelling cigarettes. She's wearing a clingy black leotard than matches her unkempt hair. In her lap rests a lump of white plastic you recognize as the head of the Wife of Tomorrow.
You look at the head wife
It looks slightly melted, but still in one piece.
You look at the stage
Long and low and mostly bare, the stage is the only brightly lit part of the room.

On the stage is Traudl Brandt.
You get on the stage
The beatnik bodyguard pulls you away from the stage. "Like, no hassling the talent, dig?" It doesn't look like you'll be able to get up there while he's watching the room.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a telepod (open but empty)
a RPS cannon
a checklist
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You use the hula hoop
You use the hula hoop. Fun! Then it falls down around your ankles.
You show the hula hoop to the bodyguard
The beatnik bodyguard is unimpressed.
You examine the bodyguard
The rough customer could be the doorman's burlier brother. He's peering at you with a suspicious squint, probably watching to make sure you don't square up the place. His immense hands grip a teeny tiny itty bitty little cup of coffee.
You examine the cup
The beatnik sees you eyeing the thimble-sized cup and puts a hand over it. "Like, no sharing, you dig? This has to last me all night and once it's gone it's like real gone, man." He yawns. "Like, they don't dig a man needs the bounty of the brown goddess poured out upon him just to stay in awake in this red onion of a coffeehouse. So what if it runs through me like a cool cat's lead sled through Squaresville, man? That's, like, what the porcelain birdbath is for, dig?"
You look
A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

On the stage is Traudl Brandt.

You can also see a beatnik bodyguard here.
You go west
You're standing on Saguaro Road, in a part of town your mother doesn't like you going. A junkyard squats to the west, and to the east, an old barn has been painted black and blue and hung with a neon sign reading "The Beat Barn." A dirt road leads north to the drive-in, and Saguaro Road itself heads into town to the south and curves northeast into the woods.

The neon sign is lit up, casting a harsh blue glow over the asphalt.
Go northeast
From here, the road plunges northeast into the sheer cliffs and curves gently southwest towards town. Twisted-looking pines frame the tunnel entrance itself, which is pitch black and smells moist and alive. Far above you, you can see the sleek modernist wedge of Minsystems Labs perched at the edge of the cliffs.
Up
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

On the cluttered desk is an enormous coffee mug.
Go downwards
You brace your legs against the sides of the vent and descend in a controlled slide.

A cool, damp road beneath the mountain. Only a couple of the lights here work, and their dim yellow glow reflects off the slick concrete walls. The roads continues, exiting the tunnel to the southwest. To the northeast, you can see blue and red lights flashing in the darkness. There's an open exhaust vent in the wall here, leading UP.
You go east
As you push the door open, the goatee-wearing doorman stops you, sniffing the air. "Coffee!" he declares. "You've got coffee! Thought you'd sneak in your own bourgeoisie slop, huh? You leave that paint thinner out here, square sister, because there's no way I'm letting outside coffee through this door!"
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
an enormous coffee mug
a telepod (open but empty)
a RPS cannon
a checklist
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You examine the telepod
A large, egg-shaped pod about the size of a garbage can, but lightweight enough for you to lift. There's an open hatch in the side.
Go east
The doorman sniffs. "So, trying to sneak coffee in by hiding it! Nice try, but it won't work. That coffee doesn't come through this door, end of story!
Close telepod
You close the telepod.
You open the pod
(the telepod)
You open the telepod, revealing an enormous coffee mug.
You drop the mug
Dropped.
Go east
The doorman turns up his pointy nose at the obvious square, but waves you inside anyway, muttering something about quail hunting.

A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

On the stage is Traudl Brandt.

You can also see a beatnik bodyguard here.
Close pod
(the telepod)
You close the telepod.
You drop the pod
(the telepod)
Dropped.
You go west
You're standing on Saguaro Road, in a part of town your mother doesn't like you going. A junkyard squats to the west, and to the east, an old barn has been painted black and blue and hung with a neon sign reading "The Beat Barn." A dirt road leads north to the drive-in, and Saguaro Road itself heads into town to the south and curves northeast into the woods.

The neon sign is lit up, casting a harsh blue glow over the asphalt.

You can see an enormous coffee mug here.
Go east
The doorman turns up his pointy nose at the obvious square, but waves you inside anyway, muttering something about quail hunting.

A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

On the stage is Traudl Brandt.

You can also see a telepod and a beatnik bodyguard here.
You take pod
(the telepod)
Taken.
You open the pod
(the telepod)
You open the telepod, revealing an enormous coffee mug.
You talk to the bodyguard
You try to strike up a casual conversation, using every single pointer you can remember from The Polite and Cheerful Girl's Guide To
Awkward Conversations with Unsavory Strangers: Fifty Perfect
Pointers. Unfortunately, it quickly becomes apparent that all he cares about is coffee, keeping you away from Traudl, and geopolitics, in that order.
You give the mug to the bodyguard
The beatnik eagerly takes the huge mug of coffee. "Now that's where it's at! Maybe you're not such a square after all." He guzzles down the coffee thirstily. "Like that really hit the spot, doll--I--" He looks sudden distressed. "Like, gotta beat the gravel, like, quicksville, you dig?"

The desperate beatnik runs off in the direction of, like, the bathroomsville, leaving the stage unguarded.
You get on the stage
You clamber up onto the stage to the sound of a few scattered boos. Hmph! As if there was even really a show to interrupt. She's just sitting there!

The Beat Barn (on the stage)
A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

Traudl Brandt is sitting cross-legged in the middle of the stage.
You use the hula
You use the hula hoop. Fun! Then it falls down around your ankles.
You talk to Traudl
[Picture number 13 here.]

Traudl Brandt sits before you like a smoke-wreathed goddess.

1) "Um, Miss Brandt...?"
1
["Um, Miss Brandt...?"]

Traudl gives you an amused half-smile. "Well, what brings you flying my way, little bird?" she asks, with just a trace of a German accent.

1) "'Little bird' is building a weapon to fight the Brain Guzzlers."
1
["'Little bird' is building a weapon to fight the Brain
Guzzlers."]

"Good on little bird--or maybe I should say little hawk. We need more people like you willing to stand up against the pigs and their masters and everybody else trying to keep this country ignorant."

1) "No, they're literally--look, have you even been outside today--oh, close enough."
1
["No, they're literally--look, have you even been outside
today--oh, close enough."]

"Well, then you're in the right place. We have a weapon here that's more powerful than any gun, more explosive than any bomb. We call it Art."

1) "Actually I was more interested in that lovely robot head you're holding! Wherever did you get it?"
1
["Actually I was more interested in that lovely robot head you're holding! Wherever did you get it?"]

"What, this? It came crashing through the bathroom window about an hour ago. I figured the morally upright citizens of this perfect little burg were showing us their small-town hospitality in brick form again, but this one's different. Some kind of sculpture--I like it. I think I'll keep it." She laughs. "But tell you what. If I knew you'd appreciate it as much as I do, I might let you borrow it. Why not? Let's write a piece together. Awaken the poet's soul that dwells within you, and it's yours."

1) "Uh--b-but I'm not really any kind of poet. Can't I just find you a helpful goat, or something?"
2) "I'll do my best. Mother always did say my soul was my best feature!"
2
["I'll do my best. Mother always did say my soul was my best feature!"]

"Good girl. Now, this isn't hard. Everyone's got poetry in their heart somewhere. I'll whip up a batch of fresh words and images and all you've got to do is dig in. Capiche?"

1) "Let's write some poetry!"
1
["Let's write some poetry!"]

"All right, let's start with something simple." Traudl clears her throat and recites. "The sky, darkness, graves, grave, glamour!"

1) "Ghosts! Pumpkins! Witches! Boo!"
2) "My soul aches as it's devoured by a thousand mouths of sadness." 3) "The thunder's like drums, and it pounds like a hammer!"
4) "Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts."
3
["The thunder's like drums, and it pounds like a hammer!"]

Traudl frowns. "Uhm, no, little bird, this is a real poem.
Real poems don't rhyme. Understand?"

1) "What next?"
1
["What next?"]

"Okay, let's try another prompt...

Fire! Ice! Chocolate! Mother-goddess, grown fat with aeons, ripe green hills and lush valleys. It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains!"

1) "I'll get my umbrella!"
2) "Those darn aeons are so full of calories!"
3) "Water runs in my ears and it's drowning my brains?"
4) "Ripe apples! Sweet tangerines! Bananas...bananas that dance...something about bananas."
2
["Those darn aeons are so full of calories!"]

"No, it's a metaphor--ah--never mind."

1) "Gee, this is fun! Give me something else."
1
["Gee, this is fun! Give me something else."]

"Maybe a more primal, compelling image...

Womankind! We carry the world between our legs, hand-standing Atlases, twin bookends of meat and bone. Blood! War! Is there anything else? A rotting fruit. Flies. How dare we? How dare us all? Break
free of the prison--stand in the purple light and--"

Traudl sucks in an enormous lungful of air.

"SCRRRREEEEEEEEEAMMM!"

1) "Violet like the hatred of my mother. Shoes! Fireflies!"
2) (scream as loud as you can)
3) "Meat and tulips! Sand! Death is inevitable."
2
[(scream as loud as you can)]

"That--little bird, no, you--don't have a poet's scream."

1) "I'm on a roll! Give me something else".
1
["I'm on a roll! Give me something else".]

"All right. How about this..."

This land, bleak, bountiful, once grew bloody flowers. Steaks! Hamburgers! This land, this building, slaves in chains, robbed of white gold by two-legged vampires. Liberated! The hand of Art is on the udder, and it's your hand. You are the dairy farmer now!"

1) "Okay, I give up."
2) "Death! Ponies!"
3) "I dreamed that I was suffering for eternity in a void in my Maidenform bra."
3
["I dreamed that I was suffering for eternity in a void in my Maidenform bra."]

"How nice for you."

1) "So...pretty good poem, right?"
1
["So...pretty good poem, right?"]

Traudl shakes her head. "I'm sorry, little bird. There is poetry in your soul, I know it--but you're still not letting it out. Still, you do show promise. And at least you're not trying to rhyme.
Maybe we should try this again."

1) "Let's write some poetry!"
2) "I need to leave, uh, daddy-o."
1
["Let's write some poetry!"]

"All right, let's start with something simple." Traudl clears her throat and recites. "The sky, darkness, graves, grave, glamour!"

1) "Ghosts! Pumpkins! Witches! Boo!"
2) "My soul aches as it's devoured by a thousand mouths of sadness." 3) "The thunder's like drums, and it pounds like a hammer!"
4) "Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts."
1
["Ghosts! Pumpkins! Witches! Boo!"]

"Hmm. Not quite what I had in mind..."

1) "What next?"
2
["My soul aches as it's devoured by a thousand mouths of
sadness."]

"A little much, maybe?"

1) "What next?"
1
["What next?"]

"Okay, let's try another prompt...

Fire! Ice! Chocolate! Mother-goddess, grown fat with aeons, ripe green hills and lush valleys. It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains!"

1) "I'll get my umbrella!"
2) "Those darn aeons are so full of calories!"
3) "Water runs in my ears and it's drowning my brains?"
4) "Ripe apples! Sweet tangerines! Bananas...bananas that dance...something about bananas."
4
["Ripe apples! Sweet tangerines! Bananas...bananas that dance...something about bananas."]

"I don't think I know about that one..."

1) "Gee, this is fun! Give me something else."
1
["Gee, this is fun! Give me something else."]

"Maybe a more primal, compelling image...

Womankind! We carry the world between our legs, hand-standing Atlases, twin bookends of meat and bone. Blood! War! Is there anything else? A rotting fruit. Flies. How dare we? How dare us all? Break
free of the prison--stand in the purple light and--"

Traudl sucks in an enormous lungful of air.

"SCRRRREEEEEEEEEAMMM!"

1) "Violet like the hatred of my mother. Shoes! Fireflies!"
2) (scream as loud as you can)
3) "Meat and tulips! Sand! Death is inevitable."
1
["Violet like the hatred of my mother. Shoes! Fireflies!"]

"Imagery's a little on-the-nose, but..."

1) "I'm on a roll! Give me something else".
1
["I'm on a roll! Give me something else".]

"All right. How about this..."

This land, bleak, bountiful, once grew bloody flowers. Steaks! Hamburgers! This land, this building, slaves in chains, robbed of white gold by two-legged vampires. Liberated! The hand of Art is on the udder, and it's your hand. You are the dairy farmer now!"

1) "Okay, I give up."
2) "Death! Ponies!"
3) "I dreamed that I was suffering for eternity in a void in my Maidenform bra."
2
["Death! Ponies!"]

"Sigh."

1) "So...pretty good poem, right?"
1
["So...pretty good poem, right?"]

Traudl shakes her head. "I'm sorry, little bird. There is poetry in your soul, I know it--but you're still not letting it out. Still, you do show promise. And at least you're not trying to rhyme.
Maybe we should try this again."

1) "Let's write some poetry!"
2) "I need to leave, uh, daddy-o."
1
["Let's write some poetry!"]

"All right, let's start with something simple." Traudl clears her throat and recites. "The sky, darkness, graves, grave, glamour!"

1) "Ghosts! Pumpkins! Witches! Boo!"
2) "My soul aches as it's devoured by a thousand mouths of sadness." 3) "The thunder's like drums, and it pounds like a hammer!"
4) "Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts."
4
["Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts."]

"That's... hmm."

1) "What next?"
3
["Water runs in my ears and it's drowning my brains?"]

Traudl winces. "No--no, that was another rhyme. I said don't
rhyme! It's...unpleasing to me." She takes a nervous drag on her cigarette.

1) "Gee, this is fun! Give me something else."
1
["Gee, this is fun! Give me something else."]

"Maybe a more primal, compelling image...

Womankind! We carry the world between our legs, hand-standing Atlases, twin bookends of meat and bone. Blood! War! Is there anything else? A rotting fruit. Flies. How dare we? How dare us all? Break
free of the prison--stand in the purple light and--"

Traudl sucks in an enormous lungful of air.

"SCRRRREEEEEEEEEAMMM!"

1) "Violet like the hatred of my mother. Shoes! Fireflies!"
2) (scream as loud as you can)
3) "Meat and tulips! Sand! Death is inevitable."
4) "Go Fighting Conifers, go, go, team?"
3
["Meat and tulips! Sand! Death is inevitable."]

"A little trite."

1) "I'm on a roll! Give me something else".
1
["I'm on a roll! Give me something else".]

"All right. How about this..."

This land, bleak, bountiful, once grew bloody flowers. Steaks! Hamburgers! This land, this building, slaves in chains, robbed of white gold by two-legged vampires. Liberated! The hand of Art is on the udder, and it's your hand. You are the dairy farmer now!"

1) "Okay, I give up."
2) "Death! Ponies!"
3) "I dreamed that I was suffering for eternity in a void in my Maidenform bra."
2
["Death! Ponies!"]

"Sigh."

1) "So...pretty good poem, right?"
1
["So...pretty good poem, right?"]

Traudl shakes her head. "I'm sorry, little bird. There is poetry in your soul, I know it--but you're still not letting it out. Still, you do show promise. And at least you're not trying to rhyme.
Maybe we should try this again."

1) "Let's write some poetry!"
2) "I need to leave, uh, daddy-o."
1
["Let's write some poetry!"]

"All right, let's start with something simple." Traudl clears her throat and recites. "The sky, darkness, graves, grave, glamour!"

1) "Ghosts! Pumpkins! Witches! Boo!"
2) "My soul aches as it's devoured by a thousand mouths of sadness." 3) "The thunder's like drums, and it pounds like a hammer!"
4) "Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts."
2
["My soul aches as it's devoured by a thousand mouths of
sadness."]

"A little much, maybe?"

1) "What next?"
1
["What next?"]

"Okay, let's try another prompt...

Fire! Ice! Chocolate! Mother-goddess, grown fat with aeons, ripe green hills and lush valleys. It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains! It rains!"

1) "I'll get my umbrella!"
2) "Those darn aeons are so full of calories!"
3) "Ripe apples! Sweet tangerines! Bananas...bananas that dance...something about bananas."
4
["Go Fighting Conifers, go, go, team?"]

A few members of the audience titter. "No--no--this thing you're doing, where the words end with the same sound?," Traudl hisses. "That's rhyming."

She runs an unsteady hand through her hair. "You're embarrassing yourself and you're embarrassing me!"

1) "I'm on a roll! Give me something else".
1
["I'm on a roll! Give me something else".]

"All right. How about this..."

This land, bleak, bountiful, once grew bloody flowers. Steaks! Hamburgers! This land, this building, slaves in chains, robbed of white gold by two-legged vampires. Liberated! The hand of Art is on the udder, and it's your hand. You are the dairy farmer now!"

1) "What a coincidence, you recite like a cow!"
2) "Okay, I give up."
3) "Death! Ponies!"
4) "I dreamed that I was suffering for eternity in a void in my Maidenform bra."
4
["I dreamed that I was suffering for eternity in a void in my Maidenform bra."]

"How nice for you."

1) "So...pretty good poem, right?"
2
["I need to leave, uh, daddy-o."]

"You can leave me, Little Bird, but you can't leave you."

The Beat Barn (on the stage)
A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

Traudl Brandt is sitting cross-legged in the middle of the stage.
You take the head
Traudl looks like she's holding onto it pretty tightly.
You talk to Traudl
[Picture number 13 here.]

Traudl Brandt sits before you like a smoke-wreathed goddess.

1) "Er, it's me again!"
1
["Er, it's me again!"]

"So, the little bird returns."

1) "Let's write some poetry!"
2) "I need to leave, uh, daddy-o."
1
["What a coincidence, you recite like a cow!"]

Several members of the audience are laughing now. Traudl's sallow complexion is growing increasingly flushed. "Enough!" she cries. "Enough, enough, enough! Obviously, you don't have the soul of a poet at all. You have the soul of--of--"

She sputters out an unflattering-sounding German word and stalks off. After two circuits of the room, several cigarettes and a torrent of Teutonic muttering, she seems to realize that she's accidentally left her little wooden fiefdom to you and hurries back to the stage. "Here--you wanted this, right? I will give you this if you never try to recite poetry on my stage again."

She hands you the Head of the Wife of Tomorrow, and the precious computer within. Another victory for the hoi polloi!

The Beat Barn (on the stage)
A smoky little hole in the wall filled with customers dressed in black and sipping coffee from tiny cups. Scratchy jazz is playing softly in the background. A low stage is along one wall.

Traudl Brandt is sitting cross-legged in the middle of the stage.
Go downwards
(first getting off the stage)
You can't go that way.
You examine the checklist
A neat little copy of the checklist on the blackboard, which you can use to keep track of the BUBU components you still need to give to the Professor. It reads:

Micro-Mini Computer
Brain Guzzler DNA Sample (CHECK)
Purified Fructonium
20,000-Ton Impenetrable Steel Chassis (CHECK)
Spork (CHECK)
You go upward
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.
You talk tothe prof .
[Picture number 10 here.]

"Ah, greetings again, my young chum."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find fructonium?"
4) "Here's your computer--sure hope it still works!"
5) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
4
["Here's your computer--sure hope it still works!"]

"She's certainly seen better days, but as strange as it may sound, this is one 'wife' whose most important job isn't looking good." The professor cracks open the Head of the Wife of Tomorrow and yanks out a handfull of circuits and wires. "Now, I just connect these here--and--"

The speaker on the BUBU's control panel crackles into fuzzy life. "Hello? Dave? What's going on? I feel so--so sluggish and thick-waisted! What's happening?"

"Don't worry your pretty little tubes about it, my dear," the professor says soothingly. "Later on I may need you to kill a few aliens, but for now, just lie there and let me work on you."

"A spa day! Gosh, Dave, you sure know how to make a wife feel appreciated!"

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find fructonium?"
4) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
You look around
1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find fructonium?"
4) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one
of those?"]

"If it helps, the perforation doesn't have to be neat. You can even do the job yourself if necessary. But the membrane must be quite large." The professor holds out his hands. "Imagine this, but much, much larger. At least the size of a wall, or the side of a house."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find fructonium?"
4) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
3
["Where can I find fructonium?"]

"Why, that's the atomic element which makes up fruit! Of course, we would need it in highly purified form, broken down to its most basic elemental state--difficult for all but the most talented botanical chemists. Good luck!"

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "A 'perforated silver membrane'? Where am I supposed to find one of those?"
3) "Where can I find fructonium?"
4) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
4
["I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"]

"I appreciate that, young lady."

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.
Go west
Generations of garbage have been piled here in haphazard stacks, rusting and slowly sinking into the earth under the weight of tons of scrap. The only way out is to the east.

McDillingfitty's "house", a rusting metal silo, stands empty, slowly falling apart under the weight of the ages.
You look at the silo
It's a little taller than a one-story house, but too narrow to have much living space. There's an open hatch on the side where a door probably used to be. You never noticed it before, but there are numbers printed on the side: "X271 -- Minsystems Labs."
You look at the pines
They're tough little can-do trees with a lot of spirit. They've got to be, to make it out here in the desert!
You examine the screen
There's a ragged hole in the middle where your car crashed through. Other than that, it's in good condition.
You take the screen
You carefully yank the screen down and roll it up neatly. Yippee! You just found a perforated silver membrane!
Go south
The look of this part of Saguaro Road has changed drastically since this morning. A line of tanks blocks the street to the south, and the air echoes with the sound of explosions and the tromp of busy artillery teams. To the east, the Yoshidas' flower shop seems to have been transformed into some kind of makeshift military headquarters.
You go east
The humble flower shop has been transformed into a military command base. A large tabletop map of the town has been set up where the discount gardenia bin used to be, and a clump of officers surround it, gesturing at the diagram and shouting at each other.

Jenny Yoshida is sitting on the stairs, looking miserable.
You talk to Jenny
[Picture number 14 here.]

"Oh--Bonnie, you're alive!" Jenny tries to force a smile. "Well, that's--that's good."

1) "Are you okay? What happened to your arm?"
2) "Are you okay? Why are all these soldiers here?"
1
["Are you okay? What happened to your arm?"]

"Somebody, uh, kind of stepped on it. When we were all running. It's not broken or anything, I just--I just--I can't, uh, I can't deal with all this! Everything's gone all to heck, I don't know where anybody is, I can't even phone Mary Jane's house to find out if she's even alive because the phones are down..."

1) "Oh, Her Royal Highness is alive, all right, and having a temper tantrum fit for a queen."
2) "She's alive, and she's just about worried sick about you!"
3) "Well, she was alive when I left her..."
2
["She's alive, and she's just about worried sick about you!"]

"She is?" Jenny's face lights up. "Oh, thank goodness! I'm been--I've been going just about nuts imagining all kinds of horrible things. Where is she? I have to find her!"

1) "She's safe at home. Uh, you sort of have to shimmy up an air vent to get in--"
1
["She's safe at home. Uh, you sort of have to shimmy up an air
vent to get in--"]

"Oh yes, I've been up that vent before." Jenny notices your expression. "What? She's got a ten o' clock curfew. It's ridiculous! Listen, I, uh, I really can't thank you enough for telling me this. I need to see her right now."

1) "Gee, let's get back to the lab, then."
1
["Gee, let's get back to the lab, then."]

You and Jenny enjoy what is by current standards a relaxing walk back to the lab, during which neither of you dies. Soon you're standing at the door of Mary Jane's room.

"We have a secret knock," Jenny explains, which turns out to be two barely audible taps. "See, it stands for 'haircut', because at first it was going to be 'shave and a haircut' because we get our hair done together sometimes but we don't shave, or, er, at least we don't shave at a barbershop or anything like that, uh, so we dropped that part--"

The door jerks open and Mary Jane launches herself at Jenny like a puffy-eyed pink cobra. "Jenny! You're ALIVE!" she squeals. "I thought your poor little brain had been guzzled!"

"I thought yours had!"

After the tearful reunion, Mary Jane turns to you. "Well, gosh, now I feel like a real goony bird for crying over Jenny dying when she's not even dead. I ought to be pitching in and helping you and Dad stop those awful things. I'm going to the lab to see what's what!"

Jenny gives her a peck on the cheek. "Have fun!" Then you and Mary Jane climb the stairs to the Tomorrowdome.

"Oh, it's a BUBU," Mary Jane observes, grabbing a lab coat. "Or, well, gee, it's most of one at least. I can make it better!"

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

The BUBU giggles. "Gosh, Dave, your hands are so tickley inside me!"
You talk to Professor
[Picture number 10 here.]

"Ah, greetings again, my young chum."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "Where can I find fructonium?"
3) "I found an, uh, perforated membrane for you!"
4) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
3
["I found an, uh, perforated membrane for you!"]

"The screen from the drive-in! Excellent! Without those creature features playing through the kitchen window at all hours my daughter will be able to get through the dishes without dropping half of them because she was startled by the Moon Men or the Swamp Woman. And as a bonus, I can use this for the BUBU, too!"

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "Where can I find fructonium?"
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
3
["I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"]

"I appreciate that, young lady."

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.
You talk to Mary Jane
[Picture number 12 here.]

Mary Jane looks up. "Hi, Bonnie!" she says brightly.

1) "You're a scientist?"
1
["You're a scientist?"]

"Sure, silly! I'm a little rusty, though. Cheerleading keeps me awful busy lately!"

1) "Where can I find fructonium?"
2) "I should go!"
1
["Where can I find fructonium?"]

"I'm not the one to talk to about plant stuff!" Mary Jane lets out of a self-deprecating giggle. "Outside of physics, engineering, and cheerleading and such, I'm pretty much useless!"

1) "Where can I find fructonium?"
2) "I should go!"
2
["I should go!"]

Mary Jane nods. "Go get "em!"

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.
Describe the surroundings
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.
Go northwest
A frothy, frilly pink bedroom with a large canopy bed and a vanity buried under mountains of makeup. Posters of famous movie stars line the walls. A large bay window looks out on a pleasantly kept rose garden.
Go southwest
It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.

Jenny Yoshida is keeping herself busy baking piles and piles of her famous snickerdoodles.
You talk to Jenny
"Hi, Bonnie! How's everything going up there?"

1) "We're putting together a machine to stop the brain guzzlers."
2) "Don't worry about it, Jenny, all that matters is we're safe in here."
1
["We're putting together a machine to stop the brain
guzzlers."]

"Wow, that's great! I'm sure everything will work out and I'm, uh, I'm okay waiting here, I guess. I--do you want something baked? Anything?"

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "None of these plants are ripe! What's going on?"
5) "I should go."
3
["Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"]

"Can I--Bonnie, that's not exactly difficult. Don't you pay attention in home ec at all? That was practically the first thing they taught us after how to make a roux. I mean--sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Of course I can help. Some nice fresh fruit is all I need."

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "None of these plants are ripe! What's going on?"
5) "I should go."
4
["None of these plants are ripe! What's going on?"]

Jenny frowns, looking at the tubes. "Of course they're not ripe, poor things! They may look healthy, but they're all alone up here, stuck to a dumb old wall. If there's one thing I've learned it's that even if they have all the food and water they need plants will never be happy if they feel neglected. They need people to love them. They need people to talk to them! Openly! You can't just tell plants you love them and then run off with your popular friends every afternoon while they're stuck working in the shop. I mean being sold in the shop. Being sold is like the flowers' job, that's why I said it like that." Jenny coughs. "Anyway, uh, maybe just talking to them and giving them some attention would help."

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "None of these plants are ripe! What's going on?"
5) "I should go."
2
["What kinds of things can you bake?"]

"All kinds of things! It's not that different from botany, really, except more of the plants are dead and uh, ground up, plus there's eggs and things. But both require hard work and a good solid knowledge of baker's chemistry!"

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "None of these plants are ripe! What's going on?"
5) "I should go."
1
["Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."]

"Oh, uh, they're just kind of the first cookie I learned how to make. I sort of bake when I'm nervous. It gives me something to do with my hands. Mary Jane eats when she's nervous, so together we make a pretty good team!"

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "None of these plants are ripe! What's going on?"
5) "I should go."
5
["I should go."]

"See you later!"

It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.

Jenny Yoshida is keeping herself busy baking piles and piles of her famous snickerdoodles.
You talk to the garden
[Picture number 15 here.]

...

1) "Er, hello? Gosh, I feel silly."
2) "Good plant, good...planty planty."
3) "Good morning. My, don't you look lovely and green today!"
3
["Good morning. My, don't you look lovely and green today!"]

...

1) "Please, oh, please...grow for me?"
2) "Come on, grow! Show those lazy vegetables how it's done!"
3) "You know what they say. Boys seldom make dinner of fruit that looks thinner! So... go for it!"
3
["You know what they say. Boys seldom make dinner of fruit that
looks thinner! So... go for it!"]

...

1) "Come on, be a sport!"
2) (stick out your stomach) "See, I'm growing. Doesn't this
look fun?"
3) "If all the other plants jumped off a bridge...of...of not-growing, would you?"
2
[(stick out your stomach) "See, I'm growing. Doesn't this
look fun?"]

...

1) (Appeal to fruit's sense of patriotism.)
2) (Bring up your past together.)
3) (Violent emotional breakdown)
1
[(Appeal to fruit's sense of patriotism.)]

"Now look," you tell the plant sternly. "Maybe you're a plant. And maybe you're not worried about the Brain Guzzlers because you don't have a brain, or even a nervous system, and so you don't think any of this has anything to do with you. But let me tell you this, buddy!
You grew on American soil, or out of American water, anyway, and that makes you a citizen of the good old United States of America! Americans don't give up when the going gets tough. Americans fight. Americans win! Our country has never been successfully conquered by slime monsters from space and, gosh darn it, it's never going to be! Now you're going to get off your lazy roots, citizen, and you're going to start growing! And one day... one day, you magnificent son of a gun, little children who aren't yet a gleam in Father's eye will salute the everloving heck out your memory! There will be statues to you! People will look at still lifes and instead of saying 'Oh, another one of those', they'll stand a little taller. They'll wipe their eyes. And they'll say, 'There, in that bowl, there lies a true American'. And then they'll go home and they'll have a gosh darn honest-to-mother barbeque with hamburgers and corn on the cob and yes, even fruit, and it will all be because of you!"

Your words and actions have moved the fruit to its various cores. Before your eyes, the bitter green lumps swell into a colorful cornucopia of ripe fruit!

It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.

The hydroponic garden is now bursting with oodles of ripe fruit in every color of the rainbow.

Jenny Yoshida is keeping herself busy baking piles and piles of her famous snickerdoodles.
You talk to Jenny
"Hi again, Bonnie!"

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "I should go."
4
["I should go."]

"See you later!"

It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.

The hydroponic garden is now bursting with oodles of ripe fruit in every color of the rainbow.

Jenny Yoshida is keeping herself busy baking piles and piles of her famous snickerdoodles.
You take the fruit
You pluck an armful of the ripest and fruitiest-looking fruit.
You take the cookies
"Take as many as you want!" Jenny says eagerly, practically shoving them into your hands. You end up with a lot more than you wanted.
You talk to Jenny
"Hi again, Bonnie!"

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "Could you make something called 'fructonium' for me?"
4) "Here's that fruit, Jenny!"
5) "I should go."
4
["Here's that fruit, Jenny!"]

"Great! Oh, you just wait, I'll make you a nice fructonium pie!"

And after a little kneading, a little flour, a little kneading, fifty-five minutes in the oven, and helping Jenny clean up the workspace because that's the considerate thing to do, it's ready. You now have a gently glowing pie filled with purest refined fructonium!

"Looks good enough to eat, doesn't it?" Jenny laughs. "Uh, but don't, okay? That's really pure. Your stomach would melt."

1) "Jeepers, you sure must like snickerdoodles."
2) "What kinds of things can you bake?"
3) "I should go."
3
["I should go."]

"See you later!"

It has its own self-sufficient hydroponic garden on one wall, and part of the counter space is taken up with a glass surface labeled "TELEPAD", but other than that it's a normal, if very upscale, kitchen. There's a great view of the town from the windows here. The door to the northeast leads back to the living room.

Jenny Yoshida is keeping herself busy baking piles and piles of her famous snickerdoodles.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a fruit pie
too many snickerdoodles
a telepod (open but empty)
a RPS cannon
a checklist
a Depth Charge Deluxe
a game pamphlet
a Canyonville High yearbook
a collapsible hula hoop
a skirt-and-sweater combo (being worn)
You examine the pie
It's vibrating like a purring cat and luminous with a gentle ruby red aura. Gosh, this is a real day for glowing pies.
You examine snickerdoodles
(the snickerdoodles)
They smell great. Jenny's such a good baker!
Go upwards
A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

""
You talk to Professor
[Picture number 10 here.]

"Ah, greetings again, my young chum."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "Have a snickerdoodle? Your daughter's friend made them.
3) "Here's that fuel, professor! It's in pie form."
4) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["Have a snickerdoodle? Your daughter's friend made them.]

"Yes, she's very domestic, isn't she? Not exactly the sort of chum I'd prefer for Mary Jane--" His eyebrows raise as he nibbles on a cookie. "But I must admit that, scientifically speaking, she doodles a mean snicker."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "Here's that fuel, professor! It's in pie form."
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["Here's that fuel, professor! It's in pie form."]

"Wonderful!" The professor drops the pie into the BUBU's tank. "That should give our machine the necessary zing it needs for all-day power!"

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "That's everything! Isn't it?"
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["That's everything! Isn't it?"]

He nods. "That's everything. We can launch the BUBU whenever you're ready. But we'll only have one shot, young lady. So be ready for it."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "I'm ready to go. Launch the BUBU!"
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
You look at your surroundings
1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "I'm ready to go. Launch the BUBU!"
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
3
["I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"]

"I appreciate that, young lady."

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.
You talk to Mary Jane
[Picture number 12 here.]

"Hi again, Bonnie!"

1) "Jenny is making snickerdoodles. Want some?"
2) "I should go!"
1
["Jenny is making snickerdoodles. Want some?"]

"Ooh, I would love some!" Mary Jane says, licking her lips.
She takes a handful of cookies and stuffs one in her mouth. "Fammff yoo."

1) "I should go!"
1
["I should go!"]

Mary Jane nods. "Go get "em!"

A dome covers the roof of the laboratory, converting this top floor into a vast circular workspace with a view of the surrounding mountains  beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. In the center of the room is some sort of half-completed machine. Near it is a cluttered desk, with a blackboard looming over it.

Mary Jane Minsky is working on the BUBU.

Professor Barrabas Rudolph Minsky is up to his elbows in the machine, tinkering away.

"Really, though," the BUBU says, "I've gained 1.451 tons since this morning. I really ought to do a jumping jack or two."
You talk to Renee
[Picture number 11 here.]

"Hey there."

1) "What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for good science fiction?"
2) "Want some of these snickerdoodles?"
3) "Okay, I should go!"
2
["Want some of these snickerdoodles?"]

"Oh, gosh, yes," Renee says, taking a handful. "Nearly dying makes you pretty hungry, huh?"

1) "What's that you're reading? Does the professor have an eye for good science fiction?"
2) "Okay, I should go!"
2
["Okay, I should go!"]

"See ya!"

This circular room is ultramodern, like something from twenty years in the future. The sleek, smart-looking furniture is a symphony in avocado, orange, and mustard-yellow. There are exits set into the wooden paneling to the southwest and northwest, and another exit past a small entry foyer to the east. A spiral staircase leads up, and a gaping exhaust vent leads down.

Renee Finch is plopped in a comfortable-looking easy chair, leafing through a leather-bound book.
You talk to Professor
[Picture number 10 here.]

"Ah, greetings again, my young chum."

1) "I have a question about the Brain Guzzlers."
2) "I'm ready to go. Launch the BUBU!"
3) "I guess I won't bother you any more right now!"
2
["I'm ready to go. Launch the BUBU!"]

Nodding grimly, the professor helps you into the pilot's seat of the "spaceship." "May God have mercy on our souls," he says.

Mary Jane gives you a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck, Bonnie!" Then she taps a few buttons and the dome slowly opens overhead. Machinery grinds as the BUBU rises into the air.

A glittering sea of stars surrounds you. Below, you see the last flickering lights of Canyonville glinting off huge dark shapes. The town seems to undulate like an ocean of living ink. The few buildings you can see, in the scattered light from  fires and sparkling electric lines, aren't much more than shells. There's the ruins of the diner. Over there, the one remaining wall of the haunted house sways in the breeze. The last of the police station crumbles as you watch.

From the south, a wave of Brain Guzzlers rolls over the line of tanks. You can hear faint shouts and bursts of futile gunfire. One enormous Guzzler is slowly oozing over the Beat Barn. Another probes the base of the cliff with its tendrils.

"They look mean, Dave," the BUBU remarks, "but I was made to
fight tough stains!

1) Fire the BUBU.
1
[Fire the BUBU.]

With a terrifying crack, light lances from the tip of the BUBU, fingers of electricity raking the sky like crude scratches carved into filmstock .The Brain Guzzlers begin to quiver, then to shrivel, sputting into loose piles like deflating party balloons. In minutes, it is over. The string is pulled, and Canyonville's remaining brains will remain unguzzled.

"You did it!" a voice chirps from beneath you. You look down to see Mary Jane looking up at you, Jenny by her side, their hands clasped together and their hair whipped by the mountain wind.

The professor stands behind them, staring thoughtfully off into some unknown future. "The way I see it," he muses, "we may never know why they came here, where they came from, or where they went. We may never know, and we may never be ready to know! All I know is that every year of my life I become more convinced that not only do we not know what we don't know, we also don't know what we do know. These are the things that come when man tampers in heavens--we, with our Sputniks and our weather balloons, we've opened the door and laid out the welcome mat. Dare we really shirk our responsibility when our guests arrive. Dare we?"

Indeed, those words are full of wisdom. But though the future is uncertain, you've brought about a brighter today, and a brighter today is the first step to a brighter tomorrow.

...

Jimmy Johnson was rescued, alive, well, and of normal size, some eight thousand miles away in a lifeboat, with no memory of where he had been or how his brain came to be returned to him.