Dig My Grave
Ryan Veeder
based on songs death grave-digging music music references short song references They Might Be Giants
For reasons which remain obscure, it is your job to dig a grave.
Wait
This is as deep in the forest as it gets. Nothing but trees all around, and only a couple beams of moonlight to see them by.

There's a dead body here.

The soil in this tiny clearing feels uncommonly soft.
About yourself
A little scuffed up from the walk out here, but looking better than your friend over there.
You touch the soil
You feel nothing unexpected.

)."
You look at the trees
The trees crowd around you. They almost seem suspicious.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a shovel
You examine the shovel
A long, sturdy shovel of questionable provenance.
You examine the body
It's a dead body. Its clothes are dirty (on account of being dragged through the woods). Its eyes are open, but they aren't looking at anything.
You close the eyes
To a person playing a game in text, that probably seems like a poetic thing to do, but in person the prospect is kind of really gross.
You look at eyes
They look more like two glass eyes.
You take the eyes
That seems to be a part of the dead body.
Attack body
You give the corpse a stiff kick. To make sure.
Dig
You begin digging. Soon you've excavated an area about as long and broad as the corpse, and a few inches deep.
Dig
You dig some more. The hole gets deeper. Piles of turned-up soil are forming around its perimeter.
You look at the grave
It's starting to look like a real hole.
You enter the grave
You stand in the hole for a little bit, but it's a lackluster experience.
Dig
You manage to excavate a little more, but after all this digging you're exhausted.
Dig
Your arms are too tired, and you're out of breath. You need to take a break before you dig any more.
Wait
Time passes.
Dig
Your arms are too tired, and you're out of breath. You need to take a break before you dig any more.

Well, now your arms are starting to feel like they could handle some more digging.
You examine the clothes
The corpse's clothes are stained and ripped beyond repair. You can discern a lump in one of the pockets.
You examine lump
(First reaching in the dead person's pocket and stealing their stuff) It's a rock, in kind of a spiral shape.
You look at the rock
It's a rock, in kind of a spiral shape.
You eat the rock
That's plainly inedible.
You examine scratches
The scratches are apparently artificial. As you look at them, they seem to form some kind of pattern.
You look at the pattern
As you squint more and more at the spiral, the pattern of scratches almost makes its significance known to you--but no. It's just just a scratched-up rock.
Dig
You return to your task with renewed vigor. The hole gets deeper.
Dig
You continue to dig until the hole has become more or less a proper grave. Congratulations.
You get in the grave
You get in the grave for a little while. A creepy feeling comes over you. You climb out of the grave.
You jump
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
Sing
Your singing is abominable.
Kiss body
You can only bring yourself to give it a little peck on the cheek.
You put the body in the grave
You push the corpse to the edge of the grave and then you shove it in. It hits the bottom with a thud.

You cover it up with dirt until you get bored and walk away.
And now I'm in charge! Thanks for putting my spirit to rest,
sucker!

I'm in Heaven, in front of the pearly gate, and you're not, so, sucks to be you.

And Saint Peter is here! Awesome!
About you
Who cares what I look like? It's the afterlife! I look like whatever the heck I want!
You look at the peter
He's this dude in a robe, with a beard, that kind of thing, and he's carrying some keys. He's waving at me, because he knows we're gonna be best friends.
Wave
You wave, feeling foolish.
You examine the keys
One of them is gold, and the other one is silver. I don't see why this one gate needs two keys.
You look at clouds
Yes obviously there are clouds here. Duh.
You look at the gate
It's this huge gate, made out of a gigantic pearl. It's pretty amazing. I wish you could see it. But you can't, because you're alive!

I don't really care whether you see it or not!
You talk to Peter
Hey, Peter! How about letting me in, man?

He's not saying anything. He's just getting something out of the copious folds of his voluminous robe.

Oh, hey, it's a medal! For me! For being so great! Thanks, Pete!
You examine medal
It's this awesome gold medal, and it says "AMICISSIMUS DAMNATORUM," which is Latin.
You wear the medal
Hey guess what? I'll wear it when I feel like it!
You open gate
Come on!
You open gate
Wait, what's going on?
You open gate
Dig
This is as deep in the forest as it gets. Nothing but trees all around, and only a couple beams of moonlight to see them by.

There's a dead body here.

The soil in this tiny clearing feels uncommonly soft.
Dig
You begin digging. Soon you've excavated an area about as long and broad as the corpse, and a few inches deep.
You wait
Time passes.

Well, now your arms are starting to feel like they could handle some more digging.
Dig
You return to your task with renewed vigor. The hole gets deeper.
Dig
You continue to dig until the hole has become more or less a proper grave. Congratulations.
Dig
The grave is deep enough. You are done digging.
You bury yourself
That would be harder than it sounds.
You take the lump
Taken.
You look at Peter
He's this dude in a robe, with a beard, that kind of thing, and he's carrying some keys. He's waving at me, because he knows we're gonna be best friends.
Wave
You wave, feeling foolish.
About you
Who cares what I look like? It's the afterlife! I look like whatever the heck I want!
You open the gates
Looks like it's locked. Whatever, Peter's gonna unlock it in a second.
Unlock gates
(with the keys)
Saint Peter has better things to do.
You give the medal to Peter
Saint Peter doesn't seem interested.

 Come on!
Wait, what's going on?
## 

> LIST A