The Man from DEFRA
Kevan Davis
24 Hours of Inform 2002 farm nonhuman protagonist walkthrough
You play as a goat whose goal is to prevent the slaughter of yourself and your herd by health officials from DEFRA. (DEFRA is the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, a UK government agency.) Since you are a goat, this may be a bit of a challenge.
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It's June 2001, and the pre-emptive Foot and Mouth culls are becoming increasingly barbarous. On a remote Cumbrian farm, a DEFRA official has arrived to oversee the slaughter of an uninfected goat herd, despite the protestations of the farmer, despite the promise of a court-approved reprieve the next morning.

Someone's got to delay the culling of your herd. And that someone is you.

(Type 'about' for further details)

Four damp dry-stone walls, and a cold wind turning to cast rain through the only window, rattling at the door as it goes. Your herd is here, clustered on the drier side of the straw-strewn floor, next to the feeding trough.
About you
You're a grey-fawn Toggenburg with two impressively-curling horns and a particularly smart beard.
Inventory
Your mouth is empty.
Butt
What do you want to butt?
Kick
What do you want to kick?
You examine the trough
A low metal feeding trough is bolted to the southern wall, a slatted barrier giving each of the herd a feeding space.
Bleat
What do you want to bleat at?
You bleat at yourself
You bleat at yourself.
Bleat at herd
You bleat at the herd. They blink at you, but otherwise offer no reaction.
You eat the straw
But it's filthy.
You eat herd
You are vegetarian.
You examine the herd
Two shaggy-looking males, three placid females, and a couple of nervous kids. The goats chew pensively on nothing, their rectangular pupils staring variously around the shed.
You kick the herd
A couple of the larger males fight you off, and stare at you with a confused anger.
You eat the barrier
That's plainly inedible.
You examine the trough
A low metal feeding trough is bolted to the southern wall, a slatted barrier giving each of the herd a feeding space.
You pull the trough
You are unable to.
You look
Four damp dry-stone walls, and a cold wind turning to cast rain through the only window, rattling at the door as it goes. Your herd is here, clustered on the drier side of the straw-strewn floor, next to the feeding trough.
You look at the door
A thick wooden board, not quite the right shape to fit the doorframe, is set in the western wall. It's criss-crossed with three or four generations of scratches, punctuated with impatient kick-holes.
You open door
You push against the door with your forehead, but something is holding it shut.
You kick the door
Your horns clatter against the door, but it remains closed.
You examine the window
A roughly square hole in the western wall looks out onto the yard, and the farm beyond.
You enter the window
Clambering up the stony wall, you crane your neck through the window...

You look out onto the fenced-in square of concrete, the exercise yard and recreation area for your herd. The shed door rattles in the wind, beside you.
You examine the door
The wooden board is heavily weathered on this side, and shakes violently in the wind. A short length of blue-plastic rope has been tied between a nail in the door, and a hook on the wall outside.
You eat the rope
Stretching your neck, you are just able to take the rope between your teeth. Lifting it from the hook, you attempt to pull it free from the door, but it seems too firmly attached.

You let go, and the rope falls to hang limply from the door.
Bleat at door
You bleat at the goat-shed door.
You open the door
You push the door open, struggling slightly against the wind.
You go west
This fenced-off square of washed-down concrete is as much of the world as your herd has seen, for the past few weeks. The metal gate has been left open to the north.
You go north
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

An unfamiliar vehicle has been parked here.
You examine the vehicle
It looks like one of the big, wheeled machines that the farmer uses, but is of an unfamiliar greyish colour.

Now that you are closer to it, you realise that an unpleasant smell is seeping from it.
Smell vehicle
The machine smells of death, of dead and burnt flesh.
Bleat at vehicle
You bleat at the grey vehicle.
You kick the vehicle
With a cantering run-up, you crash angrily against its flank.
You go to the east
The muddy track opens out onto the main road, here, cutting through a thick and brambly hedge. A low pit has been sunk into the track just before the road, topped with a series of parallel rungs.

A bucket of disinfectant sits at the side of the road.
You look at the bucket
The sturdy plastic bucket has been filled with an acrid-smelling disinfectant.
You look at the pit
The pit looks to be about half a leg deep, and is as wide as the track.
You go east
Your hooves slip and falter as you try to step across the rungs - you back off before you fall and hurt yourself.
You get the bucket
Taken.
You check your inventory
You are carrying a bucket of disinfectant, in your mouth.
You drop the bucket
Dropped.
You go west
This rough dirt track curves into the barn to the north, while a gateway opens south into the pig-pens. A length of yellow-and-black plastic tape has been drawn across the gateway.
You examine the tape
Yellow-and-black striped tape has been stretched taut between the gateposts to the south, slapping and fluttering loudly in the wind.
Go north
A huge curve of corrugated metal sweeps overhead, resting on half-repaired walls. Haybales are stacked and scattered out of the rain, a ragtag flock of chickens pecking their aimless way around the dirt floor.
You eat tape
You chew savagely at the unpleasant-tasting tape - it gradually weakens under the grinding of your teeth, before snapping and spiralling away to each side.
You go to the south
These low concrete buildings were home to a dozen or so ill-tempered pigs, the last time you came this way. The pens are empty, now, a single sheet of corrugated iron clanking forlornly in the wind.
You look at the iron
Once a roof, the sheet-metal is now only held in place by a couple of rusting bolts. It runs diagonally down into the mud, and buckles back and forth as the wind catches it.
You kick the iron
You batter your horns against it fiercely. One of the bolts pops free.
You kick the iron
Another assault, and the second bolt snaps. With a groan, the corrugated metal slides into the mud.
You look
These low concrete buildings were home to a dozen or so ill-tempered pigs, the last time you came this way. The pens are empty, now, nothing but mud and rainwater.

You can see a sheet of corrugated iron here.
You get the iron
Clamping your teeth around a bolt-hole, you just about manage to drag the thing with you.
Go east
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

An unfamiliar vehicle has been parked here.

You can see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You go to the east
The muddy track opens out onto the main road, here, cutting through a thick and brambly hedge. A low pit has been sunk into the track just before the road, topped with a series of parallel rungs.
You put the iron on the pit
You drop the sheet just before the pit, and nudge it forward along the ground. With a rhythmic clanging, the grooves of the corrugated iron match the rungs above the pit - it is not long before the metal spans the pit entirely.
You go east
You stand nervously on the muddy B-road that connects the farm to the outside world. The open sky has a grey heaviness to it, tinged with red and black from what seems to be a fire in a field to the east. The field's gate, across the road, has been left open, while your farm lies back to the west.

You notice lights moving in the field, and a dark green vehicle suddenly rumbles into view, framed in the gateway. The engine cuts out as the driver - a thick-set man in white overalls - catches sight of you, a clearly fugitive goat. Before you can react, the vehicle door has swung open, and a shotgun has been fired.
You examine the haybales
Dozens of grey-yellow haybales have been stacked heavily around the barn, reaching almost to the roof at the back.
You examine the chickens
The birds peck and scratch around the floor of the barn, occasionally jerking their heads up to stare at you with orange-eyed suspicion.
Inventory
Your mouth is empty.
You eat the hay
You pull out a few strands of hay, and chew on them thoughtfully.
You climb the hay
They're too soft and precarious to merit any worthwhile climbing.
Bleat at chickens
You bleat at the chickens.
You follow you
You bleat.
You search the hay
Craning behind them and nudging a few others aside, you fail to find anything other than haybales.
About you
You're a grey-fawn Toggenburg with two impressively-curling horns and a particularly smart beard.
Go north
You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.
You examine the window
The window looks into the farmhouse's kitchen. You can make out two human figures inside.
Go west
A small wooden structure sits in the grass at the corner of the house, here, at the point where the path curves around to the north. As you trot towards it, the kennel begins to make a growling noise.
You examine the figures
You can just about recognise the face of the farmer. The other human, clad in strange black-and-grey clothes and seated at the large wooden table, seems unfamiliar. They talk loudly and angrily to one another.
Bleat at farmer
You bleat at the humans.
You look at other
(the farmhouse window)
The window looks into the farmhouse's kitchen. You can make out two human figures inside.
You look at the kennel
A very small wooden building, barely big enough for a kid. Slumped in the shadows within is a large dog, which you think might belong to the farmer.
You look at the dog
The heavily-built black dog stares out at you malevolently, growling with his side-teeth slightly bared.
Bleat at dog
You bleat at the dog.
Go north
As you pass the kennel, the dog bounds out and - his chain pulled taut - begins to bark loudly.

The door to the farmhouse swings open, the farmer emerging onto the driveway. Seeing you and the dog, he pads across and grabs you by the neck, pulling you back before leading you gently to the goat shed.

The rope on the door is tied tightly, and the farmer walks away. After maybe ten minutes, there is the sound of another vehicle turning up - ten minutes after that, the door is pulled open and half a dozen DEFRA slaughtermen burst in with bolt-guns.
Go south
A thick, brambly hedge blocks your way.
You look
A small wooden structure sits in the grass at the corner of the house, here, at the point where the path curves around to the north. The farmer's dog glares out from the shadows of his home, growling darkly.
Go east
You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.
You go to the south
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

An unfamiliar vehicle has been parked here.

You can see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You look in it
You nose inquisitively at the feed, but there is nothing to be found. All of the interesting tidbits were rooted out and eaten earlier.
You examine the straw
The brittle grey-yellow straw has been soaked and flattened against the concrete.
You get the straw
But it's filthy.
You take the trough
That's hardly portable.
You get the rope
You are unable to detach it from the door.
Now is the the time for all the good goats to come to the the aid of their herd
You bleat at the herd. They blink at you, but otherwise offer no reaction. Goats never take orders, even from other goats.
You look at door
The door has been opened, revealing the yard.
You look at the gate
A gate of sturdy metal tubing, carelessly left open.
You kick the gate
That's hardly portable.

Violence isn't the answer to this one.
You close the gate
Some sort of locking mechanism is holding it open.
You get the bucket
You already have that.
You kick the bucket
You knock the bucket over. The evil disinfectant splashes out in a murky yellow tidal wave, spreading to form a puddle.
Inventory
Your mouth is empty.
You kick it
Dropped.
You knock the bucket over. The evil disinfectant splashes out in a murky yellow tidal wave, spreading to form a puddle.
You throw the bucket at the dog
You lack the nerve when it comes to the crucial moment.
You drop the bucket
Dropped.
You look at the feed
The trough is about a quarter-full of mixed grains - oats, barley and soya pellets, mainly. Any extra leaves or vegetables have long since been eaten.
You get the feed
Your mouth is already full.
You drop the bucket
Dropped.
You get the feed
You reach through a gap in the barrier and take a mouthful of the feed, holding it on your tongue.
You drop the feed
Dropped.

As you drop the feed, the chickens begin to flock around you, pecking enthusiastically at the grain.
You look
A huge curve of corrugated metal sweeps overhead, resting on half-repaired walls. Haybales are stacked and scattered out of the rain, a ragtag flock of chickens pecking their aimless way around the dirt floor.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
You get the feed
Taken.

The chickens peck up the last few stray grains.
You look at what you're carrying with you
You are carrying a mouthful of goat-feed, in your mouth.
You show the feed to the chickens
The chickens are unimpressed.
You feed the chickens
(to the chickens)
(first taking the chickens)
They beat their wings and scrabble out of your reach.
You drop the feed
Dropped.

As you drop the feed, the chickens begin to flock around you, pecking enthusiastically at the grain.
You get the chicken
They beat their wings and scrabble out of your reach.

The chickens continue to peck at the scattered goat-feed.
You check what you're carrying
Your mouth is empty.

Another chicken flaps down from the haybales to join the feast.
Wait
Time passes.

With a hungry murmuring, the chickens peck at the grain.
You wait
Time passes.
Go east
Four damp dry-stone walls, and a cold wind turning to cast rain through the only window, rattling at the door as it goes. Your herd is here, clustered on the drier side of the straw-strewn floor, next to the feeding trough.

You can see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You get the feed
You reach through a gap in the barrier and take a mouthful of the feed, holding it on your tongue.
Go north
A huge curve of corrugated metal sweeps overhead, resting on half-repaired walls. Haybales are stacked and scattered out of the rain, a ragtag flock of chickens pecking their aimless way around the dirt floor.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chickens continue to peck at the scattered goat-feed.

One of the bolder chickens struts out of the barn to the south, but soon returns. She goes back to pecking through the grain.
You go to the west
You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
Go east
You can see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You go to the west
A thick hedge blocks your path.
Go north
You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

One of the bolder chickens struts out of the barn to the south, and does not return.
Go south
You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chicken wanders away to the north, pecking hungrily at the floor.
Go north
You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

With a hungry murmuring, the chickens peck at the grain.

One of the bolder chickens struts out of the barn to the south, and does not return.
You get the feed
Taken.

The chickens peck up the last few stray grains.
Attack chicken
They beat their wings and scrabble out of your reach.
You drop the feed
(the mouthful of goat-feed)
Dropped.
Go south
You can see two small piles of goat-feed here.
Go east
You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.
Go north
As you pass the kennel, the dog bounds out and - his chain pulled taut - begins to bark loudly.

The door to the farmhouse swings open, the farmer emerging onto the driveway. Seeing you and the dog, he pads across and grabs you by the neck, pulling you back before leading you gently to the goat shed.

The rope on the door is tied tightly, and the farmer walks away. After maybe ten minutes, there is the sound of another vehicle turning up - ten minutes after that, the door is pulled open and half a dozen DEFRA slaughtermen burst in with bolt-guns.
Go north
You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chicken pecks impatiently at the grain.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

The chicken triumphantly picks out a speck of what might be linseed.
Go north
You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chicken wanders away to the west, pecking hungrily at the floor.

You watch as the chicken, pecking blindly along the ground, wanders too close to the dog's kennel. There is a brief but frenzied period of barking and squawking, before the chicken flaps away.

The farmhouse door swings open in front of you, the farmer stepping out into the rain. He seems surprised to see you standing outside, and - ruffling your hair - leads you gently back to the goat shed.

The rope on the door is tied tightly, and the farmer walks away. After maybe ten minutes, there is the sound of another vehicle turning up - ten minutes after that, the door is pulled open and half a dozen DEFRA slaughtermen burst in with bolt-guns.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

A chicken arrives from the north, strutting directly to the pile of goat-feed.
You go to the north
You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chickens pick barley grains out of the dirt on the floor.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

The chickens pick barley grains out of the dirt on the floor.
You wait
Time passes.

Another chicken flaps down from the haybales to join the feast.
You go north
You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chickens continue to peck at the scattered goat-feed.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

The chickens pick barley grains out of the dirt on the floor.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

The chickens continue to peck at the scattered goat-feed.
Wait
Time passes.

Another chicken flaps down from the haybales to join the feast.

One of the bolder chickens struts out of the barn to the south, and does not return.
You eat the feed
You crunch the husks and pellets between your heavy teeth, swallowing it all down.

The chickens peck up the last few stray grains.
You go to the south
You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chicken wanders away to the east, pecking hungrily at the floor.
You eat the feed
You crunch the husks and pellets between your heavy teeth, swallowing it all down.
Go east
You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.

The lone chicken scrabbles hungrily through the goat-feed.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

The lone chicken scrabbles hungrily through the goat-feed.
Look around
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

An unfamiliar vehicle has been parked here.

You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.
You eat the feed
You crunch the husks and pellets between your heavy teeth, swallowing it all down.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

The chicken pecks impatiently at the grain.
Look around
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

An unfamiliar vehicle has been parked here.

You can see a single chicken and a small pile of goat-feed here.

The chicken triumphantly picks out a speck of what might be linseed.
Wait
Time passes.

The chicken wanders away to the north, pecking hungrily at the floor.
You kick the chicken
Flapping her wings in alarm, the bird turns tail and scrabbles back to the safety of the barn.
Go east
You hear a far-off barking, closely followed by a panicked fluttering and squawking. A moment or two passes, and you hear the farmer shouting, the dog whining. A door slams.
You go north
You stand at the hedged-off side of the farmhouse, the back door to the east swinging open in the wind, and a path winding south to the front of the building.

A short stick is leant up against the wall.
You get the stick
Your mouth is already full.
You examine stick
A rough wooden stick, about as long as one of your legs.
You check your inventory
You are carrying a bucket of disinfectant, in your mouth.
You drop it
The stick is already here.
Go east
The house doesn't look so impressive now that you're inside - the tiled floor is criss-crossed with muddy footprints, the air smells of dung and disinfectant, and it's no less cold than outside. Doors lead east, into the house, and west, to outside.

You can see a rain hat and a coat here.
You examine the coat
A thin, matt-green waterproof coat, far too big for you and smelling strongly of disinfectant.
Wear coat
(first taking the coat)
You fling it loosely over your back, pulling it into shape around your neck. The unpleasant rubber lining sticks slightly against your own coat.
You wear the hat
(first taking the rain hat)
You throw it into the air, catching it on your horns. A few shakes of the head, and it seems to stay in place reasonably enough.
Go west
You stand at the hedged-off side of the farmhouse, the back door to the east swinging open in the wind, and a path winding south to the front of the building.

A short stick is leant up against the wall.

You can also see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You go to the south
A small wooden structure sits in the grass at the corner of the house, here, at the point where the path curves around to the north. It seems to be empty.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
You go to the east
You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
You go east
A hedge blocks your way.
Go east
The muddy track opens out onto the main road, here, cutting through a thick and brambly hedge. A low pit has been sunk into the track just before the road, topped with a series of parallel rungs.

You can see a sheet of corrugated iron here.
You go east
You stand nervously on the muddy B-road that connects the farm to the outside world. The open sky has a grey heaviness to it, tinged with red and black from what seems to be a fire in a field to the east. The field's gate, across the road, has been left open, while your farm lies back to the west.

You notice lights moving in the field, and a dark green vehicle suddenly rumbles into view, framed in the gateway. The driver - a thick-set man in white overalls - glances briefly in your direction, but either fails to notice you, or mistakes your form for that of a crouching human.

The vehicle pulls across the road, disappearing through the gate of your farm, rumbling across the metal-runged pit.
Go east
Deep, wide vehicle-tracks have cut across this ravaged field, all heading towards some sort of bonfire on the eastern side. Ash-black smoke rolls into the night sky, glowing a bloody red in the light of the fires.
You go to the east
A deep trench has been dug along the eastern side of the field, piled full of the carcasses of infected or suspected cattle. Red and orange flames curl and flicker around the corpses, and a choking pall of black smoke pours into the sky.
You look at the fire
The pit has been filled with dead cattle, soaked with petrol and flammable disinfectant, and set alight. Blackish smoke rises from the charred carcasses, and tongues of flame curl here and there.
Go north
N = next subject                                                  P = RETURN = read subject                                          Q = re sume game
Information is available on the following matters:-

> DEFRA
DEFRA is the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (previously MAFF), the UK government agency responsible for carrying out the variously-questionable "contiguous culling" of over seven million farm animals during the 2001 Foot and Mouth epidemic.

N = next subject                                                  P = RETURN = read subject                                          Q = re sume game
Information is available on the following matters:-

> DEFRA
Go west
You stand nervously on the muddy B-road that connects the farm to the outside world. The open sky has a grey heaviness to it, tinged with red and black from what seems to be a fire in a field to the east. The field's gate, across the road, has been left open, while your farm lies back to the west.
You go west
The muddy track opens out onto the main road, here, cutting through a thick and brambly hedge. A low pit has been sunk into the track just before the road, topped with a series of parallel rungs.

You can see a sheet of corrugated iron here.
You go to the west
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

Two unfamiliar vehicles have been parked here.
You look at the vehicle
Which do you mean, the green vehicle or the grey vehicle?
Green
Similar to the other one, but green. Looking through the window, you can see a rack of shotguns and bolt-guns, and numerous wooden boxes.
You look at the grey
It looks like one of the big, wheeled machines that the farmer uses, but is of an unfamiliar greyish colour.

Now that you are closer to it, you realise that an unpleasant smell is seeping from it.
You go north
You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
You go to the west
A small wooden structure sits in the grass at the corner of the house, here, at the point where the path curves around to the north. It seems to be empty.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
You go north
You stand at the hedged-off side of the farmhouse, the back door to the east swinging open in the wind, and a path winding south to the front of the building.

A short stick is leant up against the wall.

You can also see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You go to the east
The house doesn't look so impressive now that you're inside - the tiled floor is criss-crossed with muddy footprints, the air smells of dung and disinfectant, and it's no less cold than outside. Doors lead east, into the house, and west, to outside.
You look at the door
Which do you mean, the back door or the white door?
White
A flat white door, leading to the rest of the house.
You drop the coat
(first taking the coat off)
You shake it off onto the ground.
Dropped.
You open white door
It seems to be locked.
Wear coat
(first taking the coat)
You're already wearing that!
Inventory
Your mouth is empty.

You are wearing a coat and a rain hat.
Go west
You stand at the hedged-off side of the farmhouse, the back door to the east swinging open in the wind, and a path winding south to the front of the building.

A short stick is leant up against the wall.

You can also see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a stick, in your mouth.

You are wearing a coat and a rain hat.
Go south
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

Two unfamiliar vehicles have been parked here.

You can see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You go east
Enter saved game to store: Ok.

The muddy track opens out onto the main road, here, cutting through a thick and brambly hedge. A low pit has been sunk into the track just before the road, topped with a series of parallel rungs.

You can see a sheet of corrugated iron here.
Light stick
You hold the end of the stick to one of the pyre's flames - after a while the end begins to smoulder, before slowly blossoming into fire.
You kick the bucket
You knock the bucket over. The evil disinfectant splashes out in a murky yellow tidal wave, spreading to form a puddle beneath the two vehicles.
Light puddle
The noxious disinfectant bursts into fire with a roaring purple flame, quickly enveloping the two DEFRA vehicles. As the tyres melt and the paint peels away, you are quick to retreat to the goat yard, and the safety of the shed.

Craning your neck through the window, you can make out the DEFRA official emerging from the farmhouse with four of his slaughtermen. They watch in disbelief as their transport and equipment is consumed by the blaze, backing away as one petrol tank ignites, followed by the other.

The fire doesn't spread, and begins to die down, but the local fire brigade arrive within twenty minutes or so. Exasperated by the accident and the stirrings of media attention, the DEFRA men vanish silently into the night.

You settle down into the straw, and wait for the sunrise.
Go east
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

Two unfamiliar vehicles have been parked here.

You can see a stick here.
Go north
A huge curve of corrugated metal sweeps overhead, resting on half-repaired walls. Haybales are stacked and scattered out of the rain, a ragtag flock of chickens pecking their aimless way around the dirt floor.

You can see a puddle of disinfectant and a bucket (which is empty) here.
Light puddle
The noxious disinfectant bursts into fire with a roaring purple flame, and begins to blazes away under its own fuel, acidic orange smoke swirling up into the sky. It is not long before the farmer and the DEFRA slaughtermen emerge from the farmhouse to investigate.
You look
A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

Two unfamiliar vehicles have been parked here.

You can see a bucket of disinfectant here.
You get the bucket
Dropped.
Taken.
Go east
You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

A small wooden structure sits in the grass at the corner of the house, here, at the point where the path curves around to the north. It seems to be empty.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.

You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
Go north
You stand at the hedged-off side of the farmhouse, the back door to the east swinging open in the wind, and a path winding south to the front of the building.
You go to the north
Deep, wide vehicle-tracks have cut across this ravaged field, all heading towards some sort of bonfire on the eastern side. Ash-black smoke rolls into the night sky, glowing a bloody red in the light of the fires.

You stand nervously on the muddy B-road that connects the farm to the outside world. The open sky has a grey heaviness to it, tinged with red and black from what seems to be a fire in a field to the east. The field's gate, across the road, has been left open, while your farm lies back to the west.

The muddy track opens out onto the main road, here, cutting through a thick and brambly hedge. A low pit has been sunk into the track just before the road, topped with a series of parallel rungs.

You can see a sheet of corrugated iron here.

A roughly-bordered area of freshly-laid tarmac marks the centre of the farm - the goat shed and its yard lie back to the south, while the farmhouse is north. Dirt tracks lead east and west, the eastern track continuing out to the main road.

Two unfamiliar vehicles have been parked here.

You've never quite understood why humans live in such large sheds, particularly when they seem so bipedal. The farmhouse looks to be about twenty times the size of the goat-shed, with glass in its windows and a roof of straw. The path from the south winds through grass to the side of the house, to the west.

You can see a small pile of goat-feed here.
Go east
The house doesn't look so impressive now that you're inside - the tiled floor is criss-crossed with muddy footprints, the air smells of dung and disinfectant, and it's no less cold than outside. Doors lead east, into the house, and west, to outside.

You can see a puddle of disinfectant and a bucket (which is empty) here.
Light puddle
The noxious disinfectant bursts into fire with a roaring purple flame, and begins to blazes away under its own fuel, acidic orange smoke swirling up into the sky. It is not long before the farmer and the DEFRA slaughtermen emerge from the farmhouse to investigate.