Guilded Youth
Jim Munroe
1980s animated art ASCII art bbs character graphics coming of age d&d game within a game graphics I7 source available IF Competition 2012 IFComp Game male protagonist Miss Congeniality Winner modem parser retro sound teenage protagonist vorple Xyzzy Awards 2012 XYZZY Best NPCs
You play Tony, a fourteen-year old thief who needs some help looting the legendary Oakville Manor. Luckily it's the 1980s and finding fellow adventurers is just a modem squeal away...
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***You have connected to THE GUILD BBS*** Type LOGIN to enter the Adventurers' Lounge
Login
(Guilded Youth v2.0 for the IFComp 2012. HELP and CREDITS are available. Sound enabled on Chrome.)

***WELCOME, TONY THE THIEF***

You can see a map, Harry the Barbarian, Paula the Mage, Ryan the Bard, Maximus the Cleric and Chris the Paladin here.

"hey tony" says Ryan.

"voltron would kill optimus" says Harry.

"he's like 5 robots in one" says Harry.

"Optimus would have his whole team backing him up," says Chris.

Maximus floats in on a cloud of glory.
You take the map
Taken.

Paula winks at you.

"VOLTROOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" says Harry.

Chris transforms into an awesomebot.

Maximus frowns.
You look at the map
It's the route from your house to the Manor.

"LESS THAN MEETS THE EYE111" says Harry.

"My child, strive to stay in character," advises Maximus sternly.

Paula yawns.
You look at what you're carrying with you
Your access on the BBS only allows you to EXAMINE, LOOK, WAIT, SHOW something TO someone, or TAKE something.

Maximus sees your attempt and smiles smugly, casually turning invisible -- something only a 8th level Guild member could do.

Chris drives circles around Harry.

"i stomp on your stupid ass!" exclaims Harry.

Maximus summons a dragon which proceeds to incinerate Harry the Barbarian and then disappear.
You look at Paula
Paula radiates with green sparkly power.

"Language and character violations will not be tolerated," intones Maximus.
You look at Ryan
A jaunty tunesmith.

You decide to leave before Maximus kicks you for some violation.

Type LOGOUT to continue.
You look at Maximus
Type LOGOUT to continue.
Logout
***DISCONNECTED***

You switch off your C-64, dropping the room into complete darkness. Your eyes adjust quickly, as befits a fifth level thief. In the hallway you wait and listen for the sounds of your parents' deep sleep. From the upper floor window you gaze upon your dangerous destination. The Oakville Manor.

Your front door clicks behind you. You turn to the east, where the Manor beckons invisibly.
Go east
The map was a joke -- you don't really need a map to find your way, even past midnight. The forest at the end of the cul-de-sac smells damp and green, leading further to the east.
You go east
Thanks to the full moon, you only trip once.

You've lived beside these woods for half of your 14 years. The way on leads east.
Go east
You cross the electrical tower field, feeling rather than hearing its low hum. Superstition stops you from looking up at its wires. You can see the new development in the distance, the cause of your urgent mission, its machines like sleeping behemoths. But your destination is further east.
Go east
Even crowded by wild brush, the grandest building in your neighbourhood still has a silent dignity. And to think: a few days from now, it'll be erased from history.

The Manor looms to the north. You know from experience that there's a coachhouse behind it, which you could get to by following a rough path to the northeast.
Go north
You remember the first time you and Ryan found this place, he dared you to knock on the front door. You did him one better, opening the door and pushing it open to reveal the dark hall beyond. There was a cold-iron smell that conjured up a vision of shackles wrapped around a skeleton's wrists. Last year, when you drank your first beer behind the portables, you recognized the smell and realized the abandoned house must have just been a drinking spot for teenagers.

You can still see the dark hall in your mind's eye, mysterious shapes beckoning just beyond the front threshold. What were they?

You won't be plumbing the Manor's mysteries tonight: large planks of wood are nailed firmly across the front door. You curse under your breath. You can leave the portico to the south, or enter the Manor to the north.

A paper in a plastic sheath is stapled to the planks.
You examine paper
It's a Notice of Demolition. Ryan overheard his mom talking to her other historical preservation friends about it, apparently there's some kind of structural damage that makes it dangerous. Personally you think it's more dangerous to let the cookie-cutter semi-detached monotony ooze slowly over the entire city.

The date on it indicates it's got three days to live. If you don't get to explore it fully it won't be the end of the world: just the end of your boyhood dreams.
You take the paper
It's stapled down with about a million heavy duty staples. Plus, you can read it as it is.
You go northeast
The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north. Or you can return to the front of the Manor to the southwest.
Go north
There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. You and Ryan have been in here before: until he saw a raccoon here it was practically your clubhouse. It's pretty well picked over as a result. You can leave to the south.

A flutter of motion attracts your eye to something in the corner.
You examine the corner
A magazine concerning ladies of the night. Unquestioningly valuable to many gentlemen of your acquaintance.
You take it
You manage to peel it off the floorboards.

Taken.
Look around
There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. You and Ryan have been in here before: until he saw a raccoon here it was practically your clubhouse. It's pretty well picked over as a result. You can leave to the south.
You go to the south
The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north. Or you can return to the front of the Manor to the southwest.

Loot in hand, you head for home, thinking about what your fellow adventurers will say when they see it.

You can see Harry the Barbarian, Paula the Mage, Ryan the Bard, Maximus the Cleric and Chris the Paladin here.

"Greetings, thief," says Maximus.

"2400 baud is totally enough! " exclaims Harry.

Paula laughs at 4800 baud.
You show tome to Ryan
"Dude are you crazy waving that thing around?" says Ryan the Bard.

"Yah Concrete Beach are just snobs, they're all pirates anyway," says Chris.

Maximus says a silent prayer for pirates to mend their ways.

"I know they're pirates, I want the warez!!!" exclaims Harry.
You ask Ryan about the tome
Your access on the BBS only allows you to EXAMINE, LOOK, WAIT, SHOW something TO someone, or TAKE something.

Maximus sees your attempt and smiles smugly, casually turning invisible -- something only a 8th level Guild member could do.

The other guild members chatter on. You wonder if there is a way to convince them to join you in a raid on the Manor.
You talk to Ryan
You'd rather not fill the air with idle chatter. A silent thief is an effective thief. Though if you really need to get something done, you can ASK someone ABOUT something.
You ask Maximus about the tome
Your access on the BBS only allows you to EXAMINE, LOOK, WAIT, SHOW something TO someone, or TAKE something.

Maximus sees your attempt and smiles smugly, casually transforming into a wyvern and back -- something only a 8th level Guild member could do.

"Whatcha got there?" says Harry the Barbarian. "SHOW it TO me!

The other guild members chatter on. You wonder if there is a way to convince them to join you in a raid on the Manor.
You show the tome to Cleric
You don't dare. You'd be kicked from the Guild for sure.

"Whatcha got there?" says Harry the Barbarian. "SHOW it TO me!

The other guild members chatter on. You wonder if there is a way to convince them to join you in a raid on the Manor.
You show the tome to Barbarian
"where did you get this?" whispers Harry. "this is awesome!"

You explain the Manor and the potential treasures within, if only you had a companion strong enough to breach the gate...

***Harry the Barbarian has joined your party.***

Now that you've got some muscle on board, time for another Manor raid.

Type LOGOUT to continue.
Go north
Harry looks at the planks appraisingly. You can leave the portico to the south, or enter the Manor to the north.

A paper in a plastic sheath is stapled to the planks.
Look around
Harry looks at the planks appraisingly. You can leave the portico to the south, or enter the Manor to the north.

A paper in a plastic sheath is stapled to the planks.

You can also see Harry the Barbarian here.
You take the planks
You're not one for ordering people about. You can ASK someone ABOUT something if you like.
You ask Harry about the planks
You show Harry the problematic plank and he pulls a well-worn crowbar from his long bag. His chatter as he efficiently wrenches off the wood makes him oblivious to a slight clink you hear... then a rustle... and you'd swear it came from inside the house.

You push the door open with a creak...

You cross the threshold into the Manor, and achieve one of your boyhood dreams. You breathe the rarefied air, not sure what it is you smell, but appreciating that you're the first to have smelled it in... decades?

To the west you hear a shuffling and scratching. Maybe some animals got in?

You look around the space, slowly taking it in. A curving staircase, badly damaged, used to lead to the second floor. Strange shapes loom throughout the space. Hallways heading off to the east and the west.
You examine the shapes
You touch them and a plume of dust is raised -- dust that actually seems thicker than the sheets themselves. Across the room, Harry yanks one off and spends a full minute rubbing his eyes and coughing. For his trouble he's revealed a couple of unremarkable chairs.

Your thief's instincts tell you that there's nothing but unwanted furniture under the sheets, too old to be fashionable but not old enough to be antique.
Go west
Based on the animal (?) sounds you heard earlier, you decide to leave that for last.
East
The formidable door has one of those fancy crystalline doorknobs, which won't turn. It does, however, pull out in your hand and fall to the floor.

"Whoa, big guy," Harry says, patting you on the back. "Easy there. Don't need to wreck the place.

The doorknob rolls to a stop on the floor.
You take the doorknob
You turn the crystal under the light, feeling its pleasing weight in your hand. As you slip your loot in your pocket, you feel a lightness in your belly.

Taken.
You look at the doorknob
Crystal or glass, beautifully cut in either case.
Go upward
You take a few steps up and can go no further. There's about six stairs missing, a huge hole leading down into a pitch blackness. The hand rail bridges the gap and seems pretty sturdy, but not enough to bet your life on.

As you come down, Harry lets out a relieved breath. "You don't look like much of a long jumper."
You look at stairs
There's about six stairs missing, a huge hole leading down into a pitch blackness.
You go south
The Manor still has loot for the taking: you can smell it.
You examine Harry
Stocky and jocky.
You examine the shapes
You touch them and a plume of dust is raised -- dust that actually seems thicker than the sheets themselves. Across the room, Harry yanks one off and spends a full minute rubbing his eyes and coughing. For his trouble he's revealed a couple of unremarkable chairs.

Your thief's instincts tell you that there's nothing but unwanted furniture under the sheets, too old to be fashionable but not old enough to be antique.
Go west
There are birds on the wallpaper, the fragments that remain, their black eyes appearing to watch you.

Further west there looks to be a dining room.
You look at the birds
Bird eyes have always creeped you out. You are fond of magpies, though.
Go west
You make your way towards the dining room, you start to hear hushed voices. Harry kicks something that hits the wall with a metal sound. Your heart jumps as the low voices in the other room pause.

When they start up again you back slowly away, but not before pocketing the object Harry kicked.

You escape through the front door and emerge...

"Who the heck were those guys?" said Harry. "Jesus. Creepy."

You pull out your loot and admire it, a finely designed dessert fork. Sterling silver from its weight, and beautiful in the moonlight.

Harry notices the look on your face. "What are you, a klepto?"

You decide it's time to head home west, away from prying eyes.
Go west
As you head for home, Harry keeps on with his blather. "Oh, oh yeah. Your Guild character. Don't you think you take it a little too seriously?"

You don't dignify that with an answer.

"Hey how can you be a thief with a good alignment anyway? Isn't that the opposite?"

You walk faster and leave the Barbarian to struggle along with his large bag, and his ignorance, alone.

You can see Paula the Mage, Ryan the Bard, Maximus the Cleric and Chris the Paladin here.

Chris is here, shining a sword of great antiquity.

Paula is checking her makeup in the sword's reflection.
You look at the doorknob
Crystal or glass, beautifully cut in either case.

Maximus is enjoying the lack of barbaric chatter.
You examine the fork
It's only slightly tarnished, and will polish up nicely.
You show the fork to Mage
"Doesn't match my other cutlery," says Paula the Mage. "But thanks anyway, sweetie."
O fork
"Sounds like Victorian cutlery," Chris whispers. Chris agrees to meet you at the Manor later tonight.

***Chris the Paladin has joined your party.***
You show the knob to Bard
"Cool loot," whispers Ryan. He agrees to meet you at your place later tonight.

***Ryan the Bard has joined your party.***
That's enough reinforcements for another Manor raid. Type LOGOUT to continue.
Logout
***DISCONNECTED***

Ryan meets you in front of your house. He's as jumpy as always. You check to see if he's brought his picks, and he pulls them briefly out of a schoolbag festooned with band names.

The Manor beckons invisibly to the east.

You can see Ryan the Bard here.

"Never actually used them except on the test lock," Ryan says, pulling his hat off and waving it at his face. It's pretty muggy out.
You go to the east
The forest at the end of the cul-de-sac smells damp and green, leading further to the east.

You describe the kind of keyhole it is as you head over. "Oh yeah, those are easier than modern ones." He gives you a sly smile. "Maybe you wanna give it a shot."

You punch him in the shoulder at the reminder of your one thiefly failure. You've never had a knack for picks. It came up when Ryan wanted to join the Guild as a thief, but luckily he changed his mind and decided his mastery of three chords qualified him as a bard.
Go east
You've lived beside these woods for half of your 14 years. The way on leads east.

You ask him about the kids at his new school, the Catholic one his mom made him go to. "Pretty boring. I'm the only one into hardcore and cool music there," he bragplains.
Go east
You cross the electrical tower field, feeling rather than hearing its low hum. Superstition stops you from looking up at its wires. You can see the new development in the distance, the cause of your urgent mission, its machines like sleeping behemoths. But your destination is further east.

You ask him if he's made it downtown to a hardcore show yet. He shrugs. "Not yet. They start so late that there's like no way to get back here before transit stops."

He shoots a glance at you to see how well this latest excuse works. You keep your face neutral. You can mock him after the job.
You go to the east
Even crowded by wild brush, the grandest building in your neighbourhood still has a silent dignity. And to think: a few days from now, it'll be erased from history.

The Manor looms to the north. You know from experience that there's a coachhouse behind it, which you could get to by following a rough path to the northeast.

There's a girl in a track suit in front of the Manor. You keep it cool and introduce yourself.

"Hey I'm Chris," she says, then trains her dark eyes on your friend. "And I guess you're Ryan?"

Ryan, as usual in the presence of a non-boy, is motionless, so you nod for him.
You look at Chris
She's wearing a tracksuit and a short haircut. Something about her eyes makes her look ready for a fight.
You go north
Chris stops when she sees the planks and the forcible entry. "Whoa, I didn't know you guys broke in, I thought it was abandoned." Doubt flickers across her eyes. "My dad's a cop. It'd kill him if I --" She shakes her head. Then she notices the notice stapled to the door and relaxes a bit. "Oh, well. If it's gonna be trashed anyway..." You can leave the portico to the south, or enter the Manor to the north.

A paper in a plastic sheath is stapled to the planks.
Go north
A curving staircase, badly damaged, used to lead to the second floor. Strange shapes loom throughout the space. Hallways heading off to the east and the west.
You go to the west
"Uh," Ryan says, "Sounds like there's people there. Why don't we search the other rooms first?"
You ask Ryan about the door
"Ready to do your magic?" you say to Ryan, motioning at the locked door.
His eyes go big and he shakes his head, glancing over at Chris. Oh, right. That comment about her dad being a cop has him spooked. Not that it takes a lot to get him spooked.

A curving staircase, badly damaged, used to lead to the second floor. Strange shapes loom throughout the space. Hallways heading off to the east and the west. Chris looks around, a smile on her face. She seems intrigued by the hole in the stairs.

You can see Chris the Paladin and Ryan the Bard here.
You ask Chris about the hole
Chris approaches the hole in the stairs and adjusts her headband.

She tests the banister first and then hangs from it. You feel your heart lurch as her legs dangle into the hole. "When I started gymnastics," she says, going hand over hand across the gap. "I always used to imagine using my training in an adventure."

"This is kind of an adventure," pipes up Ryan, looking at you for confirmation. "Right?"

She gets to the other side, and flips her feet out onto solid ground.

"Sure, kid," she says. She takes a penlight out of her sweatpants pocket and disappears into the second floor darkness.
You ask Ryan about the door
You and Ryan go to the door. Ryan sizes it up as he takes out his picks. "Keep an eye out for the cop's daughter," he says, a pick hanging from his mouth as he goes about his work.

A few seconds later, the door to the east is open. Ryan can't keep a smile off his face, and you pat him on the shoulder.

This was clearly a library or office of some kind. The walls are lined with bookshelves, empty but for thick layers of dust. There's a large desk pushed against a wall at a weird angle. You picture the owners packing up and needing to get it out of the way to get something else out of the door.

You can leave to the west.
You move desk
A few seconds of futile pushing makes it clear why it was left here.
You examine the desk
The desk was probably too big to get out through the door, so they just left it there. All its drawers are missing. It's a lovely old wooden specimen, however, and it saddens you it will be smashed to pieces in two days. As you run a fond hand over it, you notice a glint in the inkwell.
You look at inkwell
The glint you saw is from a letter opener. Your lithe fingers tease it out and Ryan crowds around. "Oooh, a dagger," he says. You reluctantly hand it over.

Ryan feels the edge and then scoffs. "Super-dull," he says, handing it back.

Your heart lightens and you don't correct him. You secret it away for closer inspection later.
You look at the opener
Pretty bad-ass looking for an antique.
You look at the bookshelves
Not a single book left behind.
Go west
"There you guys are," Chris says grumpily as you come out. She gets up from the bottom of the stairs, where she's been sitting.

She's got her arms crossed and a funny look on her face. Despite her efforts, you notice there's a small bulge in her jacket.

You're about to ask her about it when there's a smashing sound to the west, followed by a peel of laughter.

Ryan nearly jumps out of his skin.
Go west
When Ryan sees you heading towards the noise instead of away, he makes for the exit.

"Um... band practice, gotta go... nicetomeetyoubye!" he says. When he gets out of the house he abandons all dignity and just starts running.

Chris gives you a sly smile and walks along with you.

There are birds on the wallpaper, the fragments that remain, their black eyes appearing to watch you.

Further west there looks to be a dining room.
You go to the west
You inch forward a bit and try to catch a glimpse of the dining room occupants. You dip in and out, catching a glimpse of a long haired one, a guy with some kind of suit jacket, and two or three more. They appear to be setting the table...?

You feel Chris's hand on your arm, pulling you back.

The clink of dinner plates and cutlery cover up the sounds of conversation.

"...definitely candles, it gives..."

Chris lets go of your arm.
You listen
You lean in and listen in a bit more.

"...as if we're the lords of the Manor. The pinnacle of suburban decadence. Rome before the malls moved in."

Chris gives you a confused look, and you shrug.
Continue
No way are you going in there without at least two people to back you up. "Probably we should get out while the getting's good," Chris whispers.
Go east
A curving staircase, badly damaged, used to lead to the second floor. Strange shapes loom throughout the space. Hallways heading off to the east and the west.
You go east
This was clearly a library or office of some kind. The walls are lined with bookshelves, empty but for thick layers of dust. There's a large desk pushed against a wall at a weird angle. You picture the owners packing up and needing to get it out of the way to get something else out of the door.

You can leave to the west.
You go to the south
You can leave the portico to the south, or enter the Manor to the north.

A paper in a plastic sheath is stapled to the planks.
You go south
Even crowded by wild brush, the grandest building in your neighbourhood still has a silent dignity. And to think: a few days from now, it'll be erased from history.

The Manor looms to the north. You know from experience that there's a coachhouse behind it, which you could get to by following a rough path to the northeast.

You leave the house behind.

Chris kneels to tie her running shoe. Her jacket pocket opens wide -- inside is a gold gleam that makes your fingers itch.
You examine the gold
It's gorgeous, clam-shaped and golden.

When Chris stands, a golden pocketwatch falls to the ground.

Chris looks at you. "See ya around, I guess." She melts into the forest.
You take watch
You lean over to pick up the watch, and -- bam! -- Chris tackles you from out of nowhere! You find yourself on your back, her arm pinning your neck down. "Dirty... thief..." she puffs, smirking, her eyes shining.

Her hands go all over your body, searching for something. Finally her hand rests on a ridge in your pants.

"Ah hah..." she crows. "What have we here? Holding out on me, you dirty thief?" She's breathing hard, her face a few inches from yours.
You kiss her
You can't -- she's got you pinned too good, but then she reads your intentions and lets up just... enough... for you to kiss her. When you try to slip her some tongue, she gasps and pins you again. "Oh no, oh no you don't," she says, her eyes blazing, covering your mouth with her hand.

When you don't struggle, she rolls off you and takes the letter opener with her. You look up at the sky, the moon barely visible, thinking about how weird it is that you're lying in the grass in front of the Manor. A few nights from now, it'll all be gone.

"What's that handle, mother of pearl?" Chris says, squinting at it before tossing it onto your chest. "You find the coolest stuff in these old houses."

The watch sits in your open palm. You look up at Chris, and she's snapping a hairclip that got dislodged into place.

You have never wanted anything more in your life.

"Why don't you hold onto that for me, thief," she says, pulling her collar up. "My dad would find it eventually."

She looks at you, a strange smile twisting her lips, and then she runs off into the forest.

You look longingly after her to to the west.
You check what you're carrying
You can see what you're carrying in the left column, and your current party members in the right column.

Loot in hand, you head for home.

You can see Harry the Barbarian, Ryan the Bard, Paula the Mage and Maximus the Cleric here.
You show the watch to max
"An exquisite item," Maximus says. "It'll help you tick off the hours you'll spend in hell for your evil ways."

You explain that the Manor is condemned anyway. "The Oakville Manor? I know that grand old place..." Maximus says. He agrees to join your raiding party.

***Maximus the Cleric has joined your party.***
"dice are stupid anyway," Harry says. "no skill."

Maximus struggles with his vow of serenity.

"hi tony," whispers Paula.
Show opener to Harry
"Are you threatening me? hahahahahaha" says Harry the Barbarian.

Harry scratches his bum.
Show opener to Paula
"Ooh, pretty pretty... I do get a lot of correspondence..." she says. Paula agrees to join your raiding party.

***Paula the Mage has joined your party.***

That's enough backup for a final Manor raid. Type LOGOUT to continue.
Logout
" he says. "If it gets traced back to the Guild, they can easily shut us down."

You cross the electrical tower field, feeling rather than hearing its low hum. Superstition stops you from looking up at its wires. You can see the new development in the distance, the cause of your urgent mission, its machines like sleeping behemoths. But your destination is further east.
You go to the east
Even crowded by wild brush, the grandest building in your neighbourhood still has a silent dignity. And to think: a few days from now, it'll be erased from history.

The Manor looms to the north. You know from experience that there's a coachhouse behind it, which you could get to by following a rough path to the northeast.

Paula -- you assume it's Paula, though she looks more goth than witch -- takes one last drag on her smoke before killing it under a creeper boot.

"Hello, boys," says Paula in a soft, deep voice. "You ready to knock over this joint?"

You nod.

Paula turns toward the Manor and begins to pull on lacy gloves.
Go north
Max glances at the paper. "I'd like to say that my only interest in entering this building is to preserve--"

Paula cuts him off with a stagey yawn.

You can leave the portico to the south, or enter the Manor to the north.

A paper in a plastic sheath is stapled to the planks.
You go north
A curving staircase, badly damaged, used to lead to the second floor. Strange shapes loom throughout the space. Hallways heading off to the east and the west. It's familiar ground to you now, but the others look around in awe.
Go west
Max stops you. "First things first: let's find the wine cellar."
You examine the hole
You come up to the huge ragged hole in the stairs. Max peers into the hole. "Looks like it goes straight to the wine cellar," he says, pulling off his backpack.

All business, he pulls out a rope and attaches it to the banister, letting the end dangle down into the inky hole.
Go downward
You take a few steps up and can go no further. There's about six stairs missing, a huge hole leading down into a pitch blackness with a rope disappearing into it. The hand rail bridges the gap and seems pretty sturdy, but not enough to bet your life on.

Max, wearing a headband with a light attached, starts to climb down the rope. There's a tense moment when the banister squeaks, but it holds fast.

Alone, you and Paula trade a silent look of surprise.

She's about to say something when a laugh comes from the room to the west. The dining room. And is that the tinkle of cutlery?
You climb the rope
You remember gym class rope climbing last year and decide against it. You're nimble, but your upper body strength is for shit.
Go west
You stop just outside the dining room in the hallway and peek in. There's a whole dinner party going on inside. You whisper to Paula that you recognize the guy from yesterday.

"Yes," she says, her face flooding with emotion. "I recognize him too."

Before you can contest, she adjusts her hat, squares her shoulders, and strides into the dining room... taking you with her.

There are six people around the large table, the guys from yesterday plus a couple more. The guy with the strange bangs and suit jacket is at the head of the table beside a goth girl who's too beautiful to look at directly. The table is laid out beautifully, a candelabra melting onto the white tablecloth, chipped plates trimmed with gold.

You can see Paula the Mage here.

Paula sits down at an empty chair and seats you beside her. There's no plate, but she reaches across the table and wrenches a drumstick from the bird.
You examine guy
A beard big enough to hide a mouse in. You can smell the patchouli from here. A thin tattooed girl glances over at him frequently.

"Um... hi," says the fellow in the suit jacket. Everyone's staring at Paula as she gnaws the drumstick, and you will yourself invisible.

She points the drumstick at him and you see a drop of grease fall onto the tablecloth. "You stole my idea, Erik. And then you didn't even invite me."
You look at the candelabra
There's more candles than abra, and it doesn't look all that steady.

"Well, I would say it was our idea," says Erik.

Paula reaches over and takes the closest goblet. Its bespectacled owner pretends he doesn't notice. She takes a sip and then spits it out, luckily away from you. "A white? With duck, Erik?"

Erik grimaces. "They were out of--"

He stops suddenly, seeing Max in the doorway with a bottle of wine in each hand.
You sit
What do you want to sit on?
You describe your surroundings
There are six people around the large table, the guys from yesterday plus a couple more. The guy with the strange bangs and suit jacket is at the head of the table beside a goth girl who's too beautiful to look at directly. The table is laid out beautifully, a candelabra melting onto the white tablecloth, chipped plates trimmed with gold.

There's a bottle of white wine with a dusty label, within arms' reach.

You can also see Maximus the Cleric and Paula the Mage here.

"Ah, sommelier," Paula waves him over, proving herself an improvisational genius. Max comes, his eyes stunned, and only squeaks a bit as she pulls the dusty bottles from his grasp.

She sets one on the table and reads the label on the other. Max backs away towards the door, and then makes a break for it, his backpack clinking with other bottles.
You eat the duck
(first taking Drumstick)
You're not really hungry.

"Ah -- a pinot noir," she says, uncorking it with surprising ease. "That's suitable for duck."

She goes around the table, picking up a goblet still full of wine. "What's the point in doing something --" throws the white wine onto the floor, "-- if you're not going to go all the way with it?" She fills the goblet and bangs it down onto the table, sloshing red, and the candelabra sways a bit. The light in the room sways too.
You drink the wine
(the bottle of white wine)
A good thief doesn't get high on his own supply.

"The rules are the least interesting part of this," Erik snaps back. "You always take things too far."

The dreadlocked man gulps down his white and holds it up for Paula, who overfills it. "Whoops, I guess I do. I guess it's why you kicked me out of the freak clique, huh?"
You take the bottle
(the bottle of white wine)

Taken.

"Look, Paul," started Erik, his voice tired and sad. "I--"

"It's Paula, you stupid fuck!" She throws the bottle at him,
and the last thing you see before you leave the room is the candelabra falling onto the tablecloth.

In a rush you see the birds on the wallpaper, the front door still open, the flattened grass in front of you and before too long, you're back in your bedroom. You take off your clothes, trying to decide if they smell of smoke or just of guilt.

You're in your bed when the fire sirens start to wail and the flames are becoming visible on the Manor. It's sad, but when you consider that the Manor was otherwise facing crowbars and rough hands and wrecking balls in the morning... better a funeral pyre.

***

A week, two weeks, three weeks pass. You use your nights for sleeping, not sneaking. Your modem neither winks or squeals. And no one in the Guild squeals either, since the knock on your door never comes. When Ryan tells you something funny Harry said online yesterday, you realize -- if even Ryan is sticking his head up -- that the smoke has cleared.

You decide to LOGIN again.
You show the wine to Chris
(the bottle of white wine to Chris the Paladin)
For some reason, this feels like a significant choice. Any of your friends would like the wine. Are you sure? (Y/N)
Go north
You reconsider.

"Here: COPS DON'T SUSPECT ARSON" says Harry.

Maximus lifts his staff and Harry vanishes.

Paula rolls her eyes.

"Long time no see" says Chris.
Y.
"Well well," whispers Chris. "Quite a score, thief." You arrange to meet tonight.

***Chris the Paladin has joined your party.***

Type LOGOUT to continue.
Logout
***DISCONNECTED***

You start smelling the burned Manor from the forest. Guilt and excitement compete in your belly as you emerge...

The ring of brush is blackened. The Manor's roof is caved in, beaten to its knees by the firehose water. They must have gotten here quickly as there's good chunks of the eastern wing that are mostly intact.

The portico is wrapped in that yellow police tape that you've only seen in cop shows.

To the northeast is the coachhouse, tonight's rendezvous spot.
Go northeast
The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north.

The small structure seems to have far enough away to have been spared the fire.
You go north
There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. The moonlight gives everything an unearthly hue.

Chris isn't here.

You look up at the moon through the roof, feeling like a jackass.

When you turn to leave, you see her framed in the doorway, grinning. "Had to make sure this wasn't a set up."

She sits down on a wooden crate and pulls tumblers out of her duffel bag. She smells them first before sticking them out. "Wine me!"

Later that night, drunk, she chews you out for not including her in your scheme to burn down the Manor. You explain that it wasn't a scheme, that you would never not include her in schemes, and she makes you pinky promise... and then pinky wrestle, then the kissing, and the rubbing, and then the puking puts an end to that.

But it's only the beginning of your scheming together. After a particularly successful scheme eight years later, the two of you lie in a bed with a view of the Mediterranean, tracing the route of what got you there from your...

Click here to play again.
debugcheapnitfol quit with exit status: 0
%
***You have connected to THE GUILD BBS*** Type LOGIN to enter the Adventurers' Lounge
Skipthru
There are six people around the large table, the guys from yesterday plus a couple more. The guy with the strange bangs and suit jacket is at the head of the table beside a goth girl who's too beautiful to look at directly. The table is laid out beautifully, a candelabra melting onto the white tablecloth, chipped plates trimmed with gold.

Paula sits down at an empty chair and seats you beside her. There's no plate, but she reaches across the table and wrenches a drumstick from the bird.
You look at the girl
Which do you mean, the goth girl or the thin tattooed girl?
Goth
Black lipstick and eyeshadow is all you get before you have to avert your eyes. She's definitely not from your school, or any school that you can imagine. Beside her is a dreadlocked guy with a large beard, picking his teeth with a bone.

"Um... hi," says the fellow in the suit jacket. Everyone's staring at Paula as she gnaws the drumstick, and you will yourself invisible.

She points the drumstick at him and you see a drop of grease fall onto the tablecloth. "You stole my idea, Erik. And then you didn't even invite me."
You examine the thin girl
Feathered short hair with bird-like nervous movements to match, but you don't know if it's Paula-inspired.

"Well, I would say it was our idea," says Erik.

Paula reaches over and takes the closest goblet. Its bespectacled owner pretends he doesn't notice. She takes a sip and then spits it out, luckily away from you. "A white? With duck, Erik?"

Erik grimaces. "They were out of--"

He stops suddenly, seeing Max in the doorway with a bottle of wine in each hand.
You ask Erik about Manor
You can only do that to something animate.
Wait
Time passes.

"Ah -- a pinot noir," she says, uncorking it with surprising ease. "That's suitable for duck."

She goes around the table, picking up a goblet still full of wine. "What's the point in doing something --" throws the white wine onto the floor, "-- if you're not going to go all the way with it?" She fills the goblet and bangs it down onto the table, sloshing red, and the candelabra sways a bit. The light in the room sways too.
You take the wine
(the bottle of white wine)

Taken.

"The rules are the least interesting part of this," Erik snaps back. "You always take things too far."

The dreadlocked man gulps down his white and holds it up for Paula, who overfills it. "Whoops, I guess I do. I guess it's why you kicked me out of the freak clique, huh?"
You wait
Time passes.

"Look, Paul," started Erik, his voice tired and sad. "I--"

"It's Paula, you stupid fuck!" She throws the bottle at him,
and the last thing you see before you leave the room is the candelabra falling onto the tablecloth.

In a rush you see the birds on the wallpaper, the front door still open, the flattened grass in front of you and before too long, you're back in your bedroom. You take off your clothes, trying to decide if they smell of smoke or just of guilt.

You're in your bed when the fire sirens start to wail and the flames are becoming visible on the Manor. It's sad, but when you consider that the Manor was otherwise facing crowbars and rough hands and wrecking balls in the morning... better a funeral pyre.

***

A week, two weeks, three weeks pass. You use your nights for sleeping, not sneaking. Your modem neither winks or squeals. And no one in the Guild squeals either, since the knock on your door never comes. When Ryan tells you something funny Harry said online yesterday, you realize -- if even Ryan is sticking his head up -- that the smoke has cleared.

You decide to LOGIN again.
You give the wine to Paula
(the bottle of white wine to Paula the Mage)
For some reason, this feels like a significant choice. Any of your friends would like the wine. Are you sure? (Y/N)
Y.
"Ah, wondered what happened to that," Paula whispers. You arrange to meet tonight.

***Paula the Mage has joined your party.***

Type LOGOUT to continue.
Logout
***DISCONNECTED***

You start smelling the burned Manor from the forest. Guilt and excitement compete in your belly as you emerge...

The ring of brush is blackened. The Manor's roof is caved in, beaten to its knees by the firehose water. They must have gotten here quickly as there's good chunks of the eastern wing that are mostly intact.

The portico is wrapped in that yellow police tape that you've only seen in cop shows.

To the northeast is the coachhouse, tonight's rendezvous spot.
Go northeast
The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north.

The small structure seems to have far enough away to have been spared the fire.
Go north
There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. The moonlight gives everything an unearthly hue.

You can see Paula the Mage here.

Paula is sitting cross-legged on a wooden crate, looking up at the moonlight. She's not wearing her makeup today, and you can get a sense of how she looked when she was Paul.

She stretches out her hand for the wine. "Well, c'mon, let's see if it was worth burning a house down for."

That night you hear the whole history of the Freak Clique. The baffling pyrotechnics you witnessed in the dining room was the tip of the iceberg, the final scene in a complex teenaged drama -- a type that you never want to star in.

But by the end of the story you decide that Paula is one of the weirdest people you've ever met, and so of course she becomes one of your best friends.

Twenty years later, she throws you a crazy bachelor party which ends, as always, with the two of you in your cups reminiscing about your...

Click here to play again.
%
***You have connected to THE GUILD BBS*** Type LOGIN to enter the Adventurers' Lounge
Skipthru
There are six people around the large table, the guys from yesterday plus a couple more. The guy with the strange bangs and suit jacket is at the head of the table beside a goth girl who's too beautiful to look at directly. The table is laid out beautifully, a candelabra melting onto the white tablecloth, chipped plates trimmed with gold.

Paula sits down at an empty chair and seats you beside her. There's no plate, but she reaches across the table and wrenches a drumstick from the bird.
Wait
Time passes.

"Um... hi," says the fellow in the suit jacket. Everyone's staring at Paula as she gnaws the drumstick, and you will yourself invisible.

She points the drumstick at him and you see a drop of grease fall onto the tablecloth. "You stole my idea, Erik. And then you didn't even invite me."
You wait awhile
Time passes.

"Well, I would say it was our idea," says Erik.

Paula reaches over and takes the closest goblet. Its bespectacled owner pretends he doesn't notice. She takes a sip and then spits it out, luckily away from you. "A white? With duck, Erik?"

Erik grimaces. "They were out of--"

He stops suddenly, seeing Max in the doorway with a bottle of wine in each hand.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

"Ah, sommelier," Paula waves him over, proving herself an improvisational genius. Max comes, his eyes stunned, and only squeaks a bit as she pulls the dusty bottles from his grasp.

She sets one on the table and reads the label on the other. Max backs away towards the door, and then makes a break for it, his backpack clinking with other bottles.
Wait
Time passes.

"Ah -- a pinot noir," she says, uncorking it with surprising ease. "That's suitable for duck."

She goes around the table, picking up a goblet still full of wine. "What's the point in doing something --" throws the white wine onto the floor, "-- if you're not going to go all the way with it?" She fills the goblet and bangs it down onto the table, sloshing red, and the candelabra sways a bit. The light in the room sways too.
You take the wine
(the bottle of white wine)

Taken.

"The rules are the least interesting part of this," Erik snaps back. "You always take things too far."

The dreadlocked man gulps down his white and holds it up for Paula, who overfills it. "Whoops, I guess I do. I guess it's why you kicked me out of the freak clique, huh?"
You give the wine to Ryan
(the bottle of white wine to Ryan the Bard)
For some reason, this feels like a significant choice. Any of your friends would like the wine. Are you sure? (Y/N)
Y.
"Wicked!!!! Let's get wasted!" Ryan whispers. You arrange to meet tonight in the usual place.

***Ryan the Bard has joined your party.***

Type LOGOUT to continue.
Logout
***DISCONNECTED***

You start smelling the burned Manor from the forest. Guilt and excitement compete in your belly as you emerge...

The ring of brush is blackened. The Manor's roof is caved in, beaten to its knees by the firehose water. They must have gotten here quickly as there's good chunks of the eastern wing that are mostly intact.

The portico is wrapped in that yellow police tape that you've only seen in cop shows.

To the northeast is the coachhouse, tonight's rendezvous spot.
You go north
Wisely, your instincts refuse to let you return to the scene of the crime.
Go northeast
The double doors are large enough to drive a horse and carriage into, but one of them is missing, leaving an entryway to the north.

The small structure seems to have far enough away to have been spared the fire.
You go north
There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. The moonlight gives everything an unearthly hue.

You can see Ryan the Bard here.

Ryan jumps a bit as he sees you. You lift the bottle of wine. "Nice! I got some jungle juice to put us over the top," he says, pulling a soda bottle out. "And some pretzels!"

You hunker down on the floor and start to work on the cork.

That night you develop a lifetime hatred of gin and a renewed faith in your friendship with Ryan. At school he'd become a bit evasive lately, but you find out how hard he's trying to fit in. It's something you don't care about, but it explains why he acts so weird in class sometimes.

Ten years later you're on tour together and in a convenience store in Detroit. Ryan finds a bottle of the same stuff. You lift it & some pretzels and drink it in a squat later that night, laughing about your....

Click here to play again.
debugcheapnitfol quit with exit status: 0
You take bottle
(the bottle of white wine)

Taken.

"Ah -- a pinot noir," she says, uncorking it with surprising ease. "That's suitable for duck."

She goes around the table, picking up a goblet still full of wine. "What's the point in doing something --" throws the white wine onto the floor, "-- if you're not going to go all the way with it?" She fills the goblet and bangs it down onto the table, sloshing red, and the candelabra sways a bit. The light in the room sways too.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

"The rules are the least interesting part of this," Erik snaps back. "You always take things too far."

The dreadlocked man gulps down his white and holds it up for Paula, who overfills it. "Whoops, I guess I do. I guess it's why you kicked me out of the freak clique, huh?"
You give the wine to Harry
(the bottle of white wine to Harry the Barbarian)
You're about to when Harry opens his big mouth again.

"Here: COPS DON'T SUSPECT ARSON" says Harry.

Maximus lifts his staff and Harry vanishes.

Paula rolls her eyes.

"Long time no see" says Chris.
You give the wine to Maximus
(the bottle of white wine to Maximus the Cleric)
For some reason, this feels like a significant choice. Any of your friends would like the wine. Are you sure? (Y/N)
Y.
"Splendid! I presumed that lost in the... accident," whispers Maximus. You arrange to meet tonight.

***Maximus the Cleric has joined your party.***

Type LOGOUT to continue.
Go north
There's a significant hole in the roof that lets in enough light to look around. The moonlight gives everything an unearthly hue.

You can see Maximus the Cleric here.

Maximus is reading a book that he puts away when you arrive. You recognize it from the cover art. "Looking forward to the second edition?"

Maximus' nostrils flare. "Actually, I'm not." He raps the book inside his backpack. "The Dungeon Masters Guide is pretty much the definitive edition. It's held me well for a decade, and I have no intention of changing."

You nod soberly and show him the wine. "Ah," he says, taking out a satchel and removing some money from it. He gives you eight dollars. "10% of the anticipated retail value," he says. He puts it in his backpack, nods to you, and leaves the coachhouse.

You can't decide if you're disappointed or relieved not to be drinking with Maximus.

Five years later, you're on campus going between classes. You see Maximus walking towards you, earnestly talking to a guy your age about something called a hedge fund. He sees you seeing him, but he averts his eyes, and soon the two of them disappear into the School of Business. You check the wallet you snagged on the way by and confirm that it's him. It's funny, because of all of you, he seemed most likely to be a lifer... but it seems that Maximus the Cleric now disavows your...

Click here to play again.