Sunday Afternoon
Christopher Huang (as Virgil Hilts)
child protagonist escape family house setting IF Competition 2012 IFComp Game male protagonist parser post-modern small map translation available Victorian Xyzzy Awards 2012
It's gloriously sunny outside, and you can smell the grass from in here. It's not fair. All the servants have the day off, and you can bet they're not cooped up indoors in their Sunday best. If only there were some way to escape....
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July, 1892.

Father is off to Oxford again, and Mother's gone with him. You know what that means: another day in the care of Uncle Stephen, who is nice but boring, and Aunt Emma, who means well but won't let you do anything fun. Worst of all, it's a Sunday, which means you're sitting very upright in Aunt Emma's parlour, in all your stiff-starched Sunday best, trying to read Uncle Stephen's latest sermon about one of the less-interesting parts of the Bible while Aunt Emma pretends that she wouldn't rather be knitting and Uncle Stephen hides under a pile of Hebrew and Latin and Greek in his study.

Plus, it's gloriously sunny outside, and you can smell the grass from in here. It's just not fair. All the servants have the day off because Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma don't believe in making people do any real work on Sundays, and you can bet that they -- Janet and Morris and Cookie, each of whom is loads more fun than Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma put together -- are probably not all cooped up indoors in their Sunday best.

If only there were some way you could escape....

(Type "HELP" for further information, instructions or hints)

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
You look at Victoria
Mother has a portrait just like this back home, hung in exactly the same place over the parlour fireplace. Everybody you know has the same. You reckon that anyone who doesn't must be a spy, a heretic, a foreigner, or worse.
You examine Bible
Aunt Emma's had the same Bible for as long as you've known her. How she manages to keep it from getting dog-eared, given how often she reads it, you do not know. Aunt Emma has it open on her lap, and you notice that she's using Janet's master key to mark her place.
You examine the key
The master key is usually carried by the servants, which seems a little ironic. But then it's the servants who need to get into every nook and cranny of the house, from attic to coal cellar; normal people only need to get into the civilised living spaces. Since the servants today are out, it's been handed over to Aunt Emma ... which still seems a little ironic, since she's the mistress of the house.
You examine Emma
Aunt Emma is Uncle Stephen's sister, one of those maiden aunts who always ends up chaperoning people around; which, as you understand it, means it's her job to make sure people don't have any fun. You know she means well, really, but she takes her job much too seriously.
You look at the fireplace
The fireplace is cold this time of the year, just as it should be.
The mantel above is, as usual, burgeoning with a million little ornaments.
You examine the mantel
It's one of those extraordinarily sturdy oak affairs. Every time you visit, it looks as though it could not possibly hold even one more little ornament without collapsing; and yet, every time you visit, it looks as though Aunt Emma has managed to fit one more thing on it.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

Among the many souvenirs of ancient history, you spot a duelling pistol. That doesn't look like the sort of thing boring people like Aunt Emma or Uncle Stephen (or, let's face it, anyone in your whole family) are likely to keep around the house!
You ask Emma about the pistol
"That used to belong to an old friend. I don't normally hold with duelling, but he was a very dear friend and ... you really should get back to your reading, Hector."
You ask Emma about the friend
"You are referring to a dear, old friend of the family," says Aunt Emma, not looking at you. "He got a commission with the army and went to India and ... war is a nasty, nasty business, Hector. I hope and pray that you never have to see it." Well, perhaps, but it would be really exciting....
You ask Emma about the war
"That," says Aunt Emma firmly, "is thankfully something about which I know absolutely nothing."

Your family is so boring.
You ask Emma about the india
"I much prefer to stay in England, thank you very much. Strange lands like India are for wanderers with more courage than sense." Aunt Emma pauses. "Well, courage ... it's a very fine thing, I suppose...."

You're sure you hear Aunt Emma say something about "dear old Captain Davis..." as she turns back to her Bible.
You ask Emma about Davis
"Captain Davis was a dear, old friend of the family," says Aunt Emma, not looking at you. "He got a commission with the army and went to India and ... war is a nasty, nasty business, Hector. I hope and pray that you never have to see it." Well, perhaps, but it would be really exciting....
You ask Emma about Bible
Aunt Emma wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.
You look at the armchair
Give Aunt Emma due credit: she did make sure you always got the most comfortable armchair in the house.
About yourself
You've been thoroughly scrubbed and ironed and starched into your least comfortable set of clothes. One day, when you are either Prime Minister or Archbishop of Canterbury -- depending on whether you listen to Mother or Father -- you're going to outlaw starch or declare it anathema or both.
You look at the window
From here, you can see the lawn and the woods and the distant  spires of the cathedral. The sun is shining and you know that the woods are just bursting with interesting things to discover.
You examine the Cathedral
Barchester Cathedral is just visible beyond the woods. You can't make out the details, but you know it's all very grand and impressive, at least to someone who isn't made to go there quite as regularly as you are.
You examine the sun
Why are you still indoors? Why?
You look at woods
The woods look incredibly enticing this time of the year.
Inventory
You are carrying:
Uncle Stephen's latest sermon
You examine the sermon
Uncle Stephen seems to have picked 1 Chronicles 6:1-15 as the topic of his sermon. Oh dear.
You show the sermon to Emma
Aunt Emma tries to explain the sermon to you. Her rather confused and unintelligible rambling fails to make it any more interesting.
You ask Emma about the levi
Aunt Emma wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.
You put sermon on mantel
There's no room. There's never any room.
You break the window
Violence isn't the answer to this one. Also, Uncle Stephen would tan your hide.
You give the sermon to Emma
You show Uncle Stephen's latest sermon to Aunt Emma.

Aunt Emma tries to explain the sermon to you. Her rather confused and unintelligible rambling fails to make it any more interesting.
You ask Emma about the key
"Someone has to take care of supper while the servants are away, Hector."
You get the portrait
The portrait is out of reach. Besides, that would probably be lèse-majesté, which you just learned about last Spring in
your French lessons. You would never want to visit a French crime on your English queen. That would be wrong.
You get the key
Ask, and it shall be given you; but somehow you doubt if this will be the case here.
You ask Emma for the key
Ask, and it shall be given you; but that is clearly not the case here.

Something among the ornaments on the mantel catches the light, and gleams momentarily.
You get the pistol
If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
You go east
Emma gives you a stern glare that quite effectively puts you in your place. Or keeps you there, at least.
You enter the fireplace
You'll only get yourself covered in soot.
You ask Emma about Uncle
"Your uncle is a busy man, Hector. He does not wish to be disturbed."
You ask Emma about yourself
You're not so vain that you need Aunt Emma to tell you what a good boy you are; nor do you care to hear about how you should have washed behind your ears this morning, or some such nonsense.
Describe the surroundings
Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel is a duelling pistol, half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

Bored, you glance up at the mantel and wonder what Aunt Emma could have added to it since your last visit.
You read Bible
It would be rude to go meddling with something while someone else is still holding on to it.
You ask Emma for Bible
Ask, and it shall be given you; but that is clearly not the case here.
You stand
Emma gives you a stern glare that quite effectively puts you in your place. Or keeps you there, at least.
You search the armchair
The armchair is empty.
Xyzzy
"What?"

July, 1916

Getting the other fellows to join in on this story-telling lark seemed like a good idea at the time. It was better than yet another game of cards, anyway, and it rather took the mind off who is or is not going to be at mess in the morning.

It's a little terrifying how accustomed you've gotten to this muddy, grimy hell-hole. You could probably find your way back here in the dark, crawling blind through a maze of twisty trenches, all alike.

You can see Anderson, Jellicoe, Hardy and Macdougal here.

Everyone is staring at Macdougal, who begins to turn a bright red.

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" barks Anderson at the hapless fellow.
You look at Macdougal
Macdougal joined the battalion only a month ago, thanks to the Military Service Act of January last. Just think, when you were his age, Edward VII was just clambering up onto the throne. Anderson probably picked him for his batman out of pity.

"Magic words," says Macdougal, looking to you in appeal. "It's standard operating procedure in these games, isn't it?"

"I've never heard that one before in my life," you declare.
About you
Your uniform was beautifully starched and crisp when you first left England two years ago. You thought you'd be back (for good, not on leave) before the starch had quite softened on your collar. And now look at you.

Jellicoe lets out a snort of exasperation. "Really," he drawls. "Magic. What nonsense. I'm surprised at you, Macdougal, although goodness knows what they're teaching you in school these days."

"I'd suggest we just get on with it, wouldn't you?" says Hardy, and Anderson nods in agreement.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel is a duelling pistol, half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

Goodness. What on earth was that?
You ask Emma about the pistol
"That used to belong to Captain Davis. I don't normally hold with duelling, but he was a very dear friend and ... you really should get back to your reading, Hector."
You ask Emma about the courage
"That is a virtue you would do well to cultivate, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing."
You give Bible
(to Aunt Emma)
Aunt Emma has better things to do.
You give Bible to you
Aunt Emma has better things to do.
You show the sermon to Emma
Aunt Emma tries to explain the sermon to you. Her rather confused and unintelligible rambling fails to make it any more interesting.
You kill emma
Violence isn't the answer to this one. Also, Uncle Stephen would tan your hide.
You eat sermon
That's plainly inedible.
You put the sermon in the fireplace
That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
Sleep
No! You want to play!
You get up
Emma gives you a stern glare that quite effectively puts you in your place. Or keeps you there, at least.
You ask Emma about the kitchen
Which do you mean, the kitchen fireplace or the kitchen door?
You shout fire
(to Aunt Emma)
There is no reply.
You drop the sermon
Dropped.
You go east
Emma gives you a stern glare that quite effectively puts you in your place. Or keeps you there, at least.
You ask Emma about Victoria
"She's our Queen, and on the whole she has been a far better ruler than some of the monarchs in our history."
Hint
About the author
Instructions for Play
Hints
Walkthrough
P.
What to do with >
Getting Started
Rooms and Travel
Interacting with Other People
Objects
Controlling the Game
How the World is Assembled
If You Get Stuck
N n n n n n north
What to do with >
Getting Started
Rooms and Travel
Interacting with Other People
Objects
Controlling the Game
How the World is Assembled
If You Get Stuck
You examine the mantle
It's one of those extraordinarily sturdy oak affairs. Every time you visit, it looks as though it could not possibly hold even one more little ornament without collapsing; and yet, every time you visit, it looks as though Aunt Emma has managed to fit one more thing on it.

On the mantel is a duelling pistol, half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

Sunlight glints off a glass unicorn. Now that's more the sort of pointless ornament you'd expect to find in Aunt Emma's collection.
You look at the unicorn
It's a unicorn, made of glass, rearing up on its hind legs. Its horn appears to have been broken off once upon a time, though it's been glued back on since.
You look at the horn
It's a unicorn, made of glass, rearing up on its hind legs. Its horn appears to have been broken off once upon a time, though it's been glued back on since.
I beg your pardon?
You ask Aunt about the unicorn
"That used to be part of a much larger glass menagerie," says Aunt Emma, "but, well, the less said about that the better."
You think
You are.
You ask Emma about the menagerie
"There is nothing interesting to tell there," says Aunt Emma. "The other pieces have gotten either lost or broken over the years, and that unicorn is the last of the lot."
You ask Emma for the unicorn
Ask, and it shall be given you; but that is clearly not the case here.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

You spot a statuette of a black falcon in the midst of all the clutter.
You examine the falcon
It's a black bird. How boring. Why anyone would want something like this, you do not know.
You get the falcon
If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
You ask Emma about the falcon
"Captain Davis picked that up years ago when he was in Malta, and brought it back as present."
You ask Emma about the malta
"I've never been there, but I've heard that it's quite fascinating." Aunt Emma recounts a few vague memories of stories told to her years and years ago, when the earth was young.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

Here's something that's not so bad: a painting of a ship sailing into the sunrise. Or sunset. One of the two.
You examine the ship
A rather fantastic-looking ship, with a dragon figurehead, sails over greenish-blue waves, into the sunrise. Or the sunset. It's rather hard to tell.
You examine the sunset
Maybe it's the sunrise.
You examine the dragon
If you were a ship's captain, you'd want your ship to have a figurehead like that.
You examine the sunrise
Maybe it's the sunset.
You ask Emma about the ship
"It's a little fantastic for my tastes. But I suppose, as your Uncle Stephen says, the fantastic is a reminder of the wonder and majesty of our Lord, and who am I to argue?"
You enter the ship
That sort of thing only happens in books.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

There's a saucer leaning against the wall at the back of the mantel. Normally you wouldn't give it a second glance, but there's something odd about the design.
You examine the jabberwock
You thought at first that the fanciful design around the saucer was a pattern of owls, but you see now you were mistaken. It's flowers ... definitely flowers.

You can't see any such thing.
You examine the flowers
You thought at first that the fanciful design around the saucer was a pattern of flowers, but you see now you were mistaken. It's owls ... definitely owls.
You examine the owls
You thought at first that the fanciful design around the saucer was a pattern of owls, but you see now you were mistaken. It's flowers ... definitely flowers.
You ask Emma about flowers
Which do you mean, the flower saucer or the elaborate flower centrepiece?
Saucer
"That's from Wales. There used to be a whole dinner service, but ... well." Aunt Emma seems to be blushing slightly, and you guess it must be because she broke all the rest of the dishes and doesn't want to admit it.
You ask Emma about the wales
"Your Uncle and I, when we were children, spent a summer in Wales. I remember...." Aunt Emma pauses to stare out the window, but before you can seize the opportunity, she turns back to you and continues, "That's where we met dear old Owen Davis...."

You are considering asking her for more about this Captain Davis character, when Aunt Emma sighs. "Sometimes I wonder what might have been...." She turns her attention back to her Bible, determined not to say any more. But when you look up a few moments later, she's staring out the window, Bible forgotten.
Go east
(First stealthily slipping out of the armchair)

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
You examine the door
Which do you mean, the kitchen door, the front door or the closet?
Front
The front door is large and imposing ... and creaky. Morris says that Aunt Emma makes him keep it that way so she can hear when anyone comes in or out of the house.
You examine the closet
The hall closet is where things like winter boots and umbrellas are kept. This one is usually a lot tidier than the one back home, but Mother says that's probably because Aunt Emma and Uncle Stephen don't have a nine-year-old to worry about.

Currently, the closet is closed.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You open the closet
You open the closet, revealing a walking stick.
You examine the stick
Uncle Stephen has taken to long walks over the hills, and as a consequence has gotten himself a walking stick that's really more of a staff, it's so long and sturdy. Father says he's really just practicing for such a time as when he finally gets a bishop's crozier, but Mother thinks Father should not make light of such things.
You get it
Taken.
You open the front door
"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down and put that walking stick away. It's not a toy." She hauls you back into your seat, but not before taking away anything that isn't covered in Uncle Stephen's handwriting and returning them.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You open the front door
"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
Go east
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.

A rather thick folder lies on the floor by the desk, having been displaced by some of Uncle Stephen's reference books.
You examine the shelves
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ...
Confessiones. Ah yes, the works of Augustine of Hippo. Of
course, Uncle Stephen would only have the Latin translations.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
Examine books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... The Woman
In White. Must be another one of those exhortations to virtue.
Why doesn't Uncle Stephen keep any exciting fiction in his library?

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
You look at the fireplace
You wouldn't think, to look at it, that this is actually the back side of the much-larger kitchen fireplace, would you? It's so dressed up that it looks like the front side of something fancy. But yes, the two fireplaces share a flue and everything, though the flue itself is really only accessible from the kitchen side.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You wake stephen
Uncle Stephen stirs and looks bemusedly at you. "Eh? I'm awake.
What is it, Hector?"

Uncle Stephen takes a puff on his pipe and notes with some annoyance that it has somehow gone out. He draws a match from a nearby matchbox, relights the pipe, and puffs contentedly.
You ask Stephen about Davis
"Where'd you hear about him? Owen Davis ... Captain Davis, that is ... salt of the earth, but rather a reckless fellow, I'm afraid: always had been, from the time we first met him, in Wales. He died in the Sepoy Mutiny, in India. We were all dreadfully cut up by it."

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes
You examine the folder
benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.

You can't see any such thing.
You examine folder
It's clearly marked "Old Sermons", and its contents are as advertised. This probably qualifies it as a weapon of Mass destruction.

In the brown folder are Uncle Stephen's old sermons.
Go north
You can't go that way.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You ask Emma about Sepoy
Aunt Emma looks grim when you mention the Sepoy Mutiny. "Those people were not Christian. And that is all I have to say on the subject."
You ask Emma about the christian
Aunt Emma isn't the best at explaining that sort of thing, and if you get her started, you're never going to get out of here before sundown. And then there'd be no point.
You examine the mantel
It's one of those extraordinarily sturdy oak affairs. Every time you visit, it looks as though it could not possibly hold even one more little ornament without collapsing; and yet, every time you visit, it looks as though Aunt Emma has managed to fit one more thing on it.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

There's a wooden goblet standing at one end of the mantel. It's very plain, but on the other hand you didn't think people made goblets out of wood.
Examine goblet
It's plain and non-descript, even remarkably so; its only point of interest is that it's a goblet made of wood, which seems like a funny sort of material to make goblets out of.
You ask Emma about the goblet
"That is the cup of a carpenter," says Aunt Emma. You wait for her to continue, but she doesn't seem to want to say any more than that.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

You notice a white porcelain cat sitting on the mantel, looking down at you with an expression which might be all-too-human if it only had a mouth.
You ask her about the cat
(Aunt Emma about the white cat)
"Charming, is it not? I always imagine it's saying hello to me when I come into the parlour in the mornings." But how can it, when it has no mouth?
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

There's that old locket with the snake on the front. You remember playing with it when you were very small, and now it's just another memory on Aunt Emma's mantel.
You look at the locket
It's rather large, and very ornate. The snake on the front is curved like the letter S, and no-one as far back as anyone remembers has ever been able to open it.
You ask Emma about locket
"That thing was in the house when we moved in, and we've never been able to track down the owners. Well. I suppose we're duty-bound to hold on to it until its true owner shows up."
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

How odd, there's a gnomon here, the triangular shadow-casting bit from a sundial, but no sundial.
You examine the Gnomon
It's triangular and made of brass, with a screwy end where it's supposed to screw into a sundial somewhere.

Someone whispers "Gnomon is an island" into your ear, but
when you look around, there's no-one there.
You ask Emma about the gnomon
"Your Uncle Stephen picked that up while on holiday in London. I don't claim to understand everything about your uncle, but this gnomon clearly means something to him."
You look at the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.
You ask about the Wales
"Your Uncle and I, when we were children, spent a summer in Wales. I remember...." Aunt Emma pauses to stare out the window, but before you can seize the opportunity, she turns back to you and continues, "That's where we met dear old Owen Davis...."
You ask Emma about Owen
Aunt Emma sighs. "Sometimes I wonder what might have been...." She turns her attention back to her Bible, determined not to say any more. But when you look up a few moments later, she's staring out the window, Bible forgotten.
Light fireplace
This dangerous act would achieve little.
Light pipe
It would be rude to go meddling with something while someone else is still holding on to it.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down and put that large matchbox away. It's not a toy." She hauls you back into your seat, but not before taking away anything that isn't covered in Uncle Stephen's handwriting and returning them.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You ask Stephen about the trinity
Oh no. You do not want to get your uncle started on that. Life is far too short as it is.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You ask Stephen about the kensington gardens
Uncle Stephen wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You ask Stephen about Sepoy
"Nasty business ... years ago, now, but I remember reading about it. That sort of thing isn't likely to happen up here in England, thank goodness."
You ask Stephen about the wales
"The family spent a summer there, a long time ago. Your Aunt Emma and I must have been about 17 or 18, at the time." It occurs to you that Mother must have been born in that year. You're old enough to know that parents don't like having the children around when the stork makes a delivery, which probably explains why Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma were sent to Wales to begin with.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You ask Emma about Owen
Aunt Emma sighs. "Sometimes I wonder what might have been...." She turns her attention back to her Bible, determined not to say any more. But when you look up a few moments later, she's staring out the window, Bible forgotten.

"Now hold it right there...!"

July, 1916

Getting the other fellows to join in on this story-telling lark seemed like a good idea at the time. It was better than yet another game of cards, anyway, and it rather took the mind off who is or is not going to be at mess in the morning.

It's a little terrifying how accustomed you've gotten to this muddy, grimy hell-hole. You could probably find your way back here in the dark, crawling blind through a maze of twisty trenches, all alike.

Anderson was doodling on an old letter of recommendation earlier, and seems to have forgotten about it.

You can also see Anderson, Jellicoe, Hardy and Macdougal here.

Anderson shakes his head. "I can't believe she'd fall for that a third time. What kind of a weak-minded aunt did you have, Conrad?"

"You're the ones who can't figure it out," you reply. "So she'll keep falling for the same stunt until you do."
You look at Hector
Your uniform was beautifully starched and crisp when you first left England two years ago. You thought you'd be back (for good, not on leave) before the starch had quite softened on your collar. And now look at you.

"Major Conrad just wants us to try again," says Jellicoe, with an air of pouring oil over troubled waters. "So why don't we go and do that?"

"We need a better strategy," Hardy muses, drawing the other men to him. "Look, we've got only so long before she stops mooning over ancient history, and I'm pretty sure the major doesn't mean for the trick to happen more than once. What can we do with those few minutes?"
You ask hardy about the outdoors
The men can figure this out on their own.

Macdougal says, "there's bound to be something in one of the other rooms that will convince her to leave us alone."

"It can't be that simple," snorts Anderson in reply.

"Anyway we can just keep trying until we get it right, right?" Hardy looks around the table, and the others nod. "So, let's get on with this."

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.

Goodness. Where did that dream come from?
You go to the north
(First stealthily slipping out of the armchair)

The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.

On the dining table is an elaborate flower centrepiece.
You examine the centerpiece
Aunt Emma believes in "civilised dining", which is why she insists on maintaining a pretty centrepiece on the dining table at all times. This centrepiece is beginning to get a little old and dry. The flowers and leaves stick out all over like bristles on a brush, and the ribbons holding it together are looking droopy.
You examine the ribbons
This centrepiece is beginning to get a little old and dry. The flowers and leaves stick out all over like bristles on a brush, and the ribbons holding it together are looking droopy.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down and put that elaborate flower centrepiece away. It's not a toy." She hauls you back into your seat, but not before taking away anything that isn't covered in Uncle Stephen's handwriting and returning them.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
Go east
(First stealthily slipping out of the armchair)

The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.

On the dining table is an elaborate flower centrepiece.

Taken.

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.

A rather thick folder lies on the floor by the desk, having been displaced by some of Uncle Stephen's reference books.
Light centerpiece
This dangerous act would achieve little.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down and put that elaborate flower centrepiece away. It's not a toy." She hauls you back into your seat, but not before taking away anything that isn't covered in Uncle Stephen's handwriting and returning them.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
Go east
(first opening the butler's door)
It seems to be locked.
You go southeast
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
You go northeast
(first opening the kitchen door)
It seems to be locked.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You go to the south
Taken.

The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, staring off into the distance.
You show the centerpiece to Emma
Aunt Emma is distractedly gazing out the window. Surely you have better things to do than to draw her attention back to the task of keeping you in your place.
You drop the centerpiece
Dropped.

Aunt Emma sighs and finally looks around. When she sees you out of your seat, she frowns and rises, and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.
You look around
Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.
You go east
(First stealthily slipping out of the armchair)

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.

A rather thick folder lies on the floor by the desk, having been displaced by some of Uncle Stephen's reference books.
You get all
brown folder: Taken.
large matchbox: Taken.
You go to the west
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, staring off into the distance.

You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.

Aunt Emma sighs and finally looks around. When she sees you out of your seat, she frowns and rises, but stops in surprise when she sees the folder of Uncle Stephen's old sermons in your hands. "Oh!" she says. "Oh ... are those your Uncle Stephen's old sermons? So that's what you were after! You should have just said so. I see I should have trusted you enough to know you could not possibly mean any mischief when you leave your seat."

She actually smiles and pats you on the head. On the bright side, it looks as though she doesn't mind you wandering around any more, since she makes no further attempt to usher you into your chair. She does, however, firmly advise you to return the large matchbox to its rightful place, and ushers you out into the Hall to do so.

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
You open the front door
As you approach the front door, you hear Aunt Emma call out to you, "Hector, you're not planning on leaving the house, are you? Please don't."
You go east
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
You wake stephen
Uncle Stephen stirs and looks bemusedly at you. "Eh? I'm awake.
What is it, Hector?"

Uncle Stephen takes a puff on his pipe and notes with some annoyance that it has somehow gone out. He reaches for his trusty matchbox and notes with even more annoyance that it has somehow gone missing. Sighing, he stands up and begins looking around.

Uncle Stephen's sharp eyes spot the matchbox in your possession.
"Give it here, Hector," he says sternly, and you can practically hear him thinking "Thou shalt not steal" at you, and you have no choice but to hand over the matchbox.

Uncle Stephen relights his pipe and settles back behind his mound of boring literature. He'll probably be asleep again in no time.
You ask Stephen about the pipe
Uncle Stephen just smiles and puffs contentedly.
You ask Stephen about Davis
"Where'd you hear about him? Owen Davis ... Captain Davis, that is ... salt of the earth, but rather a reckless fellow, I'm afraid: always had been, from the time we first met him, in Wales. He died in the Sepoy Mutiny, in India. We were all dreadfully cut up by it."
You ask Stephen about the wales
"The family spent a summer there, a long time ago. Your Aunt Emma and I must have been about 17 or 18, at the time." Uncle Stephen looks a little lost in the memory, and eventually descends into pointless talk about valleys and old houses and patterned dinner services.
You ask Stephen about Mutiny
"Nasty business ... years ago, now, but I remember reading about it. That sort of thing isn't likely to happen up here in England, thank goodness."
You ask Stephen about the india
"Hm? Fascinating place, I'm sure, but I would rather leave missionary work to those with a calling to it. Otherwise, it's rather too much trouble...."
You ask Stephen about the pistol
Uncle Stephen wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.
You ask Stephen about the stick
"A walking stick is a rather useful item, I must say. I simply could not tell you the number of times I've been glad of having a nice, stout staff on hand while walking across the downs."
You ask Stephen about Emma
"You should ask her yourself," says Uncle Stephen vaguely.
You go to the west
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.
You go east
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. White smoke curls from the bowl of his pipe.

The last of the smoke from Uncle Stephen's pipe dissipates into the air.
You look at the smoke
It curls lazily from the bowl of the pipe and dissipates into the air, smelling up the place something awful.
You smell it
It smells awful, and for some unknown reason it always makes you feel hungry. The less you have to do with it, the better.
You show the stick to Stephen
"A walking stick is a rather useful item, I must say. I simply could not tell you the number of times I've been glad of having a nice, stout staff on hand while walking across the downs."
You ask Stephen about the pipe
Uncle Stephen just smiles and puffs contentedly.
You ask Stephen about the tobacco
Uncle Stephen wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.

Uncle Stephen begins to nod drowsily. In a few moments, his pipe droops down onto his chest and he lets out a tiny little snore.
You ask Stephen for the pipe
Ask, and it shall be given you; but that is clearly not the case here.

The last of the smoke from Uncle Stephen's pipe dissipates into the air.
You examine the painting
It's a brilliant painting of a town beside the sea, with the sun shining on whitewashed houses and the bluest sky you ever did see. Uncle Stephen always smiles and says he's seen better when you ask him about it.
You ask Stephen about it
"I'm rather fond of it, even if your Aunt Emma isn't." Uncle Stephen smiles wistfully. "Admittedly, it's not the artist's best work, but it brings back memories, you see."
You ask Stephen about the memories
Uncle Stephen looks a little wistful. "You know, the late summer of 1886 found me on the continent...." But you quickly stop him before he gets carried away.
You look at your surroundings
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen is reading a really ancient-looking manuscript while making notes in another sheaf of papers. White smoke curls from the bowl of his pipe.

Uncle Stephen begins to nod drowsily. In a few moments, his pipe droops down onto his chest and he lets out a tiny little snore.
You look at manuscript
It's one of those ancient, dusty artefacts that Uncle Stephen occasionally gets out of the rare books department at the British Museum. It's all written in funny squiggles that no-one can read.
You ask Stephen about the manuscript
Uncle Stephen stirs and looks bemusedly at you. "Eh? I'm awake.
What is it, Hector?"
You ask Stephen about the manuscript
"It's quite an interesting, apocryphal document, I must say. I'll let you read it when I'm done, if you're good." Right. Better misbehave before it's too late.
You look at the papers
It looks like a translation of some sort, full of crossed-out bits and notes about notes about other notes. As far as you can tell, it's about some servant's account of the water-into-wine miracle from the Bible, although why Uncle Stephen is working on translating that when he can just read it in any old Bible, you do not know.
Describe the surroundings
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen is reading a really ancient-looking manuscript while making notes in another sheaf of papers. White smoke curls from the bowl of his pipe.
You examine the desk
Uncle Stephen's desk is covered with all sorts of papers. There's a huge dictionary that Uncle Stephen keeps flipping through, and things in languages that you've never even heard of before. Uncle Stephen is sitting right up close to the desk, blocking its only drawer.

On the desk is a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen begins to nod drowsily. In a few moments, his pipe droops down onto his chest and he lets out a tiny little snore.
You look at the dictionary
The dictionary on Uncle Stephen's desk is actually some sort of book about Hebrew grammar. You have enough trouble with Latin and French; Father says he wants to get you started on Greek next year, which sounds like the end of the world as you know it; Hebrew looks like it goes beyond even Greek, Latin and French all put together in terms of things Man was not meant to know.
You examine the drawer
You know there's a drawer in the desk, but Uncle Stephen is sitting right up against it and blocking it from view.

The last of the smoke from Uncle Stephen's pipe dissipates into the air.
Examine books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... Plato's Republic. No surprise there....

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
You look at the books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... Les MisÃ©rables. No. You are not reading French outside of lessons,
and that is final.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
You get the books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... The Sign
Of Four. Something about the four gospels, obviously. You'd
kill to have a decent mystery novel right about now.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
Examine books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... King Solomon's Mines. This is either an archaeological report, or
another dry examination of ancient Biblical history. Either way, it's probably not very interesting.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
Examine books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... The
Hudson's Bay Company. Finally, some R.M. Ballantyne! One that
you've already read, but you're not fussy. You are disappointed, however, to discover that this is in fact a prospectus from the real Hudson's Bay Company, full of deadly-dull talk about profits and shares.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
You look at the books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... The
Hudson's Bay Company. Another copy of the prospectus you'd
pulled out before, in a different cover. You're not going to be fooled again, though; you don't even bother opening the ruddy thing.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
You ask Stephen about the books
"One can never have too many books, I always say."
You ask Stephen about the drawer
Uncle Stephen wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.

Uncle Stephen begins to nod drowsily. In a few moments, his pipe droops down onto his chest and he lets out a tiny little snore.
Burn papers
This dangerous act would achieve little.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a walking stick
a brown folder
Uncle Stephen's old sermons

The last of the smoke from Uncle Stephen's pipe dissipates into the air.
Describe the surroundings
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
Examine books
Picking out a random book from the shelves, you find ... De
Doctrina Christiana. Ah yes, the works of Augustine of Hippo.
Of course, Uncle Stephen would only have the Latin translations.

You return the book to the shelves, though not perhaps in quite the same precise location.
You examine it
It's a large box of matches that Uncle Stephen keeps handy, for lighting his pipe. He goes through an awful lot of them, no-one knows why.
Light match
Uncle Stephen would skin you alive.
You take match
You already have that.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a large matchbox
a walking stick
a brown folder
Uncle Stephen's old sermons
You look at the fireplace
You wouldn't think, to look at it, that this is actually the back side of the much-larger kitchen fireplace, would you? It's so dressed up that it looks like the front side of something fancy. But yes, the two fireplaces share a flue and everything, though the flue itself is really only accessible from the kitchen side.
You put all in the fireplace
large matchbox: That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
walking stick: That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
brown folder: That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
Go west
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

The hall closet door is half-open.
You go to the west
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.

Aunt Emma spots the walking stick in your possession. "Hector Percival Conrad! What are you doing with your Uncle Stephen's walking stick? Put it back at once!"

She practically bullies you out into the hall on the way to returning everything to its rightful place.

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

The hall closet door is half-open.
You drop all
(the brown folder)
Dropped.
Go west
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
You get all
elaborate flower centrepiece: Taken.
displaced gnomon: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
snake locket: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
white cat: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
wooden goblet: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
flower saucer: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
ship painting: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
black falcon: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
glass unicorn: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.
duelling pistol: If you so much as nudged anything there, you risk having the whole lot come avalanching down upon your head. You're too young to die.

Aunt Emma spots the big, brushy centrepiece in your hands. "Hector Percival Conrad! That belongs in the dining room ... you'll get dry leaves and petals all over the place and Janet isn't around to sweep up after you. Put that back right now!"

She practically bullies you out into the hall on the way to returning the stupid thing to its rightful place.

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

You can see a brown folder (in which are Uncle Stephen's old sermons) here.
You go east
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Half-hidden among the papers on the desk, you spot a large matchbox.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. White smoke curls from the bowl of his pipe.

The last of the smoke from Uncle Stephen's pipe dissipates into the air.
You go west
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

You can see a brown folder (in which are Uncle Stephen's old sermons) here.
You examine the front door
The front door is large and imposing ... and creaky. Morris says that Aunt Emma makes him keep it that way so she can hear when anyone comes in or out of the house.
You get all
brown folder: Taken.
Go northwest
The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.

On the dining table is an elaborate flower centrepiece.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
an elaborate flower centrepiece
a large matchbox
a brown folder
Uncle Stephen's old sermons
Go east
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
You look at the sermons
Uncle Stephen's old sermons. You've been forced to read a couple of them, unfortunately, and the fact that there are more just makes your head want to implode.
You put the sermons in the fireplace
That's unlikely to get you any closer to the great outdoors.
You enter the fireplace
You'll only get yourself covered in soot.
You show the sermons to Uncle
(first taking Uncle Stephen's old sermons)
You're not feeling ready for sleep just yet.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
an elaborate flower centrepiece
a large matchbox
a brown folder
Uncle Stephen's old sermons
You drop all but the folder
elaborate flower centrepiece: Dropped.
large matchbox: Dropped.
You go to the west
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
You show the sermons to Emma
Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. A few pages later, she stops and begins to explain the whole thing to you. While she's nowhere near as stuffy as Uncle Stephen, she's also nowhere near as organised: if you'd actually been listening, you might have come out more confused than when you went in.
You read the sermons
No. No no no. Your sanity would never survive.
You search it
In the brown folder are Uncle Stephen's old sermons.
You go to the east
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

You can see a large matchbox and an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
You open the closet
You open the closet, revealing a walking stick.
You put the matchbox in the closet
(first taking the large matchbox)

You put the large matchbox into the closet.
Close closet
You close the closet.
You go east
Uncle Stephen spends most of his time shut up in here, reading the most boring books imaginable. One whole wall is lined with shelves full of these books, and then there's the desk with even more books stacked on it. The only decent things you can see here are the fireplace, which is quite grand, and a marvellous painting of the seaside. The hall is back to the west.

Uncle Stephen seems to have nodded off in his chair. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.
You wake stephen
Uncle Stephen stirs and looks bemusedly at you. "Eh? I'm awake.
What is it, Hector?"

Uncle Stephen takes a puff on his pipe and notes with some annoyance that it has somehow gone out. He reaches for his trusty matchbox and notes with even more annoyance that it has somehow gone missing. Sighing, he stands up and begins looking around.
You open the drawer
Uncle Stephen motions you vaguely away from the desk drawer. It's clearly private, and he would appreciate it if you stayed out of it.
You ask Stephen about the matchbox
"Rather a necessary evil, I would say. Some people still call them lucifers, so it's rather like letting the devil into your own house ... but do you know, the actual lucifers fell out of fashion when I was a boy, after a more reliable sort of match was invented. There's a lesson right there, my boy, if you'll take note of it."

Uncle Stephen shakes his head and wanders out into the Hall.
You open the drawer
You open the drawer, revealing a letter crammed in among an assortment of other junk.
You examine the letter
Uncle Stephen is wandering the house and could walk in on you any minute. You don't have time to give this a proper read, though you can see already that it's more interesting than anything this house has to offer.
You close the drawer
You close the drawer.
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a letter
a brown folder
Uncle Stephen's old sermons
You put the letter in the folder
You put the letter into the brown folder.
You put the letter in the folder
(first taking the letter)

You put the letter into the brown folder.
You eat letter
(first taking the letter)
That's plainly inedible.
Go west
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

Uncle Stephen is casting about for his missing matchbox. His pipe droops unhappily from his lips, stone-cold dead.

You can also see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
You open the closet
You open the closet, revealing a large matchbox and a walking stick.

Uncle Stephen catches sight of the matchbox sitting where you'd left it, and happily retrieves it. Thankfully, he doesn't seem too interested in wondering how it got there in the first place.

Uncle Stephen returns to his study.
You read the letter
Let's see. It's from a Mr John Austin, thanking your Uncle Stephen for something ... boring stuff, boring stuff ... well. It looks as though Uncle Stephen has been sending money regularly to this Mr Austin, but why? You separate the letter out into its three pages, and regard each one individually....
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
three pages of a scandalous letter
a brown folder
Uncle Stephen's old sermons
You look at the letter
Which do you mean, the first page, the second page or the third page?
First
Mr John Austin sends his regards ... lovely weather ... good health ... first child ... all very standard fare, nothing you wouldn't expect to find in a hundred other letters....
You examine the second page
Thanks for the assistance ... goodness, here's an account of all sorts of money that Uncle Stephen has been sending to this Austin fellow over the past year. Mr Austin sounds as though he should have been a bank clerk, but why on earth would Uncle Stephen be sending him money?
You look at the third letter
Here's where Mr Austin talks about his wife, which sounds terribly boring. But the way this page is creased, it looks as though Uncle Stephen's been reading and re-reading it over and over, for some odd reason.
You go to the west
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.
First
Aunt Emma would never even look at that if you were to present it to her directly. You'll need a more subtle approach.
All
Sorry, you can only have one item here. Which exactly?
You put first in the folder
You put the first page into the brown folder.
You put second in the folder
You put the second page into the brown folder.
You put third in the folder
You put the third page into the brown folder.
You show the folder to Emma
Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. Flipping through the collected sermons, she happens quite by chance upon the first page of that letter to Uncle Stephen. She reads the first few lines, then stops, carefully extracts the offending pages, and hands them to you. "This doesn't belong in here with your uncle's sermons, Hector; it looks like a private letter, probably from a parishioner. I don't know how it got mixed in with the old sermons, but you had better return it to him."
You show the folder to Emma
Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. Flipping through the collected sermons, she happens quite by chance upon the third page of that letter to Uncle Stephen. She reads the first few lines, then stops, carefully extracts the offending page, and hands it to you. "This doesn't belong in here with your uncle's sermons, Hector; it looks like a private letter, probably from a parishioner. I don't know how it got mixed in with the old sermons, but you had better return it to him."
You show the folder to Emma
Aunt Emma looks in the folder and begins scanning the topmost sermon. Flipping through the collected sermons, she happens upon the second page of that letter to Uncle Stephen, the one that you'd left in there. She reads the first few lines, stops, then reads it again. Clearly, the information about Uncle Stephen's money management has caught her attention, and she is not at all happy about it. "Excuse me, Hector," she says, "but I really must speak to your uncle about something."

Aunt Emma slips something between the pages of her Bible to mark her place, then takes the folder from you and stalks off. She's left her Bible behind.
You go to the north
The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.
Go east
(first opening the butler's door)
It seems to be locked.
Go east
(first opening the butler's door)
You unlock the butler's door with the master key.

This is Cookie's domain, the place where all the baking and roasting and cooking gets done. You're generally not allowed in here, although once, ages ago, Uncle Stephen gave you special permission to come in and watch a chimney sweep have a go at the kitchen fireplace.

The main part of the house is back to the southwest, while a very steep and narrow staircase goes up and down. There's also the butler's door into the dining room, the west.

An old photograph is framed over the kitchen fireplace.
You look at the fireplace
The kitchen fireplace is almost big enough to stand in. It's back-to-back with the fireplace in Uncle Stephen's study, and shares a flue. You remember this from the time Uncle Stephen let you watch the sweep clean out the chimney.
You look at the photo
A small unit of soldiers poses in front of an elephant. You recognise a much-younger Morris as one of the soldiers; the others are strangers, though one looks vaguely familiar for reasons you can't quite determine.
You examine the flue
There's the flue, which is shared with Uncle Stephen's study. You remember the sweep saying that this was highly irregular, although maybe he was just miffed that he had one less chimney to clean and be paid for. It's currently closed, since there's no reason to light a fire just yet.
You open
What do you want to open?
Flue
You open the flue.
You listen to the flue
Through the open flue, you can hear Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma speaking rather animatedly in the study. It's a pity they never raise their voices, but you can make out a few words: "moral obligation" ... "finally understood" ... "Owen" ... Mother's name comes up rather more often than one might expect, which probably means you're going to be in so much trouble when she gets back from Oxford.
You lock the door
Which do you mean, the butler's door or the kitchen door?
Butler'S
First you'll have to close the butler's door.
You close it
You close the butler's door.
You lock it
You lock the butler's door.
You look around
This is Cookie's domain, the place where all the baking and roasting and cooking gets done. You're generally not allowed in here, although once, ages ago, Uncle Stephen gave you special permission to come in and watch a chimney sweep have a go at the kitchen fireplace.

The main part of the house is back to the southwest, while a very steep and narrow staircase goes up and down. There's also the butler's door into the dining room, the west.

An old photograph is framed over the kitchen fireplace.
You examine Morris
That is definitely Morris, Uncle Stephen's faithful gardener and general handyman, in the photograph. He looks a lot younger there than you've ever known him, and considerably less grizzled.
You look at the photograph
A small unit of soldiers poses in front of an elephant. You recognise a much-younger Morris as one of the soldiers; the others are strangers, though one looks vaguely familiar for reasons you can't quite determine.
Go downwards
Only servants are allowed down there. Even Aunt Emma would hesitate to trespass that way.
Go up
That way is the secret passages to all the rooms that you could just as easily get to from the main stairs, not that you want to. There's no point going that way.
You get the photograph
That's fixed in place.
Go southwest
(first opening the kitchen door)
You unlock the kitchen door with the master key.

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

It sounds as though Aunt Emma is having something of an argument with Uncle Stephen in the study.

The hall closet door is half-open, revealing a walking stick.

You can see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
Go west
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.
You go to the east
Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

It sounds as though Aunt Emma is having something of an argument with Uncle Stephen in the study.

The hall closet door is half-open.

You can see an elaborate flower centrepiece here.
You examine the stairs
The stairs go up to the first floor of the house. There's nothing up there but bedrooms and bathrooms.
Go east
Aunt Emma and Uncle Stephen are having a very private conversation in there. Better keep your distance.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a walking stick
the master key
a Bible
two pages of a scandalous letter
You get all
elaborate flower centrepiece: Taken.
Go northeast
This is Cookie's domain, the place where all the baking and roasting and cooking gets done. You're generally not allowed in here, although once, ages ago, Uncle Stephen gave you special permission to come in and watch a chimney sweep have a go at the kitchen fireplace.

The main part of the house is back to the southwest, while a very steep and narrow staircase goes up and down. There's also the butler's door into the dining room, the west.

An old photograph is framed over the kitchen fireplace.
You look at the flue
There's the flue, which is shared with Uncle Stephen's study. You remember the sweep saying that this was highly irregular, although maybe he was just miffed that he had one less chimney to clean and be paid for. It's currently open, and if you listen hard you can hear Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma talking in the study.
You enter the fireplace
You'll only get yourself covered in soot.
Inventory
You are carrying:
an elaborate flower centrepiece
a walking stick
the master key
a Bible
two pages of a scandalous letter
You examine the stick
Uncle Stephen has taken to long walks over the hills, and as a consequence has gotten himself a walking stick that's really more of a staff, it's so long and sturdy. Father says he's really just practicing for such a time as when he finally gets a bishop's crozier, but Mother thinks Father should not make light of such things.
You read Bible
Aunt Emma seems to have been somewhere in the middle of the Acts of the Apostles: "... And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead...."
Go west
(first opening the butler's door)
You unlock the butler's door with the master key.

The dining room is a pleasant, sunny room, with a round dining table just large enough for six. A huge bay window looks out over the lawn towards the cathedral: Uncle Stephen's morning reminder of who he is and why he's here. Aunt Emma's parlour is back to the south, and the hall is to the southeast. The butler's door into the kitchen is to the east.
You examine the window
From here, you can see the lawn and the woods and the distant  steeple of St Swithin's. The sun is shining and you know that the woods are just bursting with interesting things to discover.
You look at the swithin'S
That's Uncle Stephen's parish. You were there just this morning, trying to stay awake through Uncle Stephen's sermon.
Go downwards
Only servants are allowed down there. Even Aunt Emma would hesitate to trespass that way.
You listen to the flue
Through the open flue, you can hear Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma speaking rather animatedly in the study. It's a pity they never raise their voices, but you can make out a few words: "moral obligation" ... "finally understood" ... "Owen" ... Mother's name comes up rather more often than one might expect, which probably means you're going to be in so much trouble when she gets back from Oxford.
You examine chimney
I only understood you as far as wanting to hit the flue.

There's the flue, which is shared with Uncle Stephen's study. You remember the sweep saying that this was highly irregular, although maybe he was just miffed that he had one less chimney to clean and be paid for. It's currently open, and if you listen hard you can hear Uncle Stephen and Aunt Emma talking in the study.
You look at the lawn
It's green, and it looks freshly mown.
Go down
Only servants are allowed down there. Even Aunt Emma would hesitate to trespass that way.

"What exactly is your interest in the backstairs, any road?"

July, 1916

Getting the other fellows to join in on this story-telling lark seemed like a good idea at the time. It was better than yet another game of cards, anyway, and it rather took the mind off who is or is not going to be at mess in the morning.

It's a little terrifying how accustomed you've gotten to this muddy, grimy hell-hole. You could probably find your way back here in the dark, crawling blind through a maze of twisty trenches, all alike.

You can see Anderson, Jellicoe, Hardy and Macdougal here.

Hardy blinks at Anderson's question. "Well, sir, what I was thinking was, I thought perhaps we could get out by the tradesman's door."

"There isn't a tradesman's door," you say quickly.

"No tradesman's door? How do the servants get in and out, then?
Where does the butcher deliver? Not the front door, surely?"
You look at Jellicoe
Jellicoe's father was Uncle Stephen's curate back around '95. You didn't care much for him at the time, but two years of hell can make brothers out of anyone.

"Hardy's right," says Anderson slowly, "there ought to be a tradesman's door. Never would have occurred to me. Never been below-stairs, or thought about what goes on there."

Macdougal shrugs. "I've spent all my life in flats, myself. Setup's a little bit different."
You examine hardy
Resourceful chap, Hardy. Not someone you'd care to rub elbows with in peacetime, but his ... acquisitions make life in the trenches just a touch more bearable. Which is why you've taken him as your batman. Hope he lasts.

Jellicoe looks from you to the others and back. "There's a reason, surely, that you didn't poke around more? Or perhaps the door was locked, or blocked somehow, or...."

"Right, right," you say, "of course there was. I quite forgot.
Morris was there...."

This is Cookie's domain, the place where all the baking and roasting and cooking gets done. You're generally not allowed in here, although once, ages ago, Uncle Stephen gave you special permission to come in and watch a chimney sweep have a go at the kitchen fireplace.

The main part of the house is back to the southwest, while a very steep and narrow staircase goes up and down. There's also the butler's door into the dining room, the west.

Deep snoring rumbles up from the servant's stair.

An old photograph is framed over the kitchen fireplace.

Goodness. What was that all about?
Go downwards
Crumbs, it looks like Morris is back, propped right up against the tradesman's door with a bottle of the demon drink. He'll give you a good whipping for trespassing if he catches you here, so you'd best keep your distance. Besides, the alcohol fumes coming off him would do you in for sure.
You listen to the snoring
It sounds as though Morris is back, and dead drunk. You don't want to get too close to him when he's like this.
Inventory
You are carrying:
an elaborate poppy centrepiece
a walking stick
the master key
a Bible
two pages of a scandalous letter
You examine the poppy
This centrepiece is beginning to get a little old and dry. Poppies and leaves stick out all over like bristles on a brush, and the ribbons holding it together are looking droopy.
You eat the poppy
That's plainly inedible.
Smell the poppy
There's still the very faint smell of the fields and hedgerows about the poppies, but otherwise it's mostly just dry grass.
You tie the flowers to stick
You firmly affix the centrepiece to the head of the walking stick, using as many of its own ribbons as you can get your hands on.
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a walking stick (with flower centrepiece attached)
the master key
a Bible
two pages of a scandalous letter
You examine the stick
Uncle Stephen has taken to long walks over the hills, and as a consequence has gotten himself a walking stick that's really more of a staff, it's so long and sturdy. There's a bristly flower centrepiece attached to one end, like the head of a brush, which makes it look exceedingly silly.
Sweep fireplace
You thrust the flowery end of the walking stick up into the flue, and are rewarded with a sudden explosion of soot ... and the sounds of Aunt Emma and Uncle Stephen's consternation at a corresponding explosion of soot on the other side. Not long after, you hear them both hurrying up the stairs to get themselves cleaned off and changed.
You go to the south
With Aunt Emma and Uncle Stephen otherwise occupied, you quickly open the front door (it creaks like the blazes) and slip outside into the warm, summer sunshine. You're going to be in a world of trouble when you get back, but for the moment there is nothing but you, the summer, and the wonders of God's green earth.
Go west
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

An armchair, which years of visits have accustomed you to thinking of as "your" armchair, is positioned near the fireplace.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, staring off into the distance.
Fuck
If anyone heard you, they'd want to know where you learned such terrible language. And then Morris would be in terrible trouble, and you don't want that.
Drat
Quite.

Aunt Emma sighs and finally looks around. When she sees you out of your seat, she frowns and rises, and grabs you by the ear. "What have you been up to, Hector? It's the Lord's day: do try to behave yourself this one day of the week! Now please, sit down." She hauls you back into your seat.
Damn
You shouldn't say such things unless you mean it. And you should never mean such things, ever.
You ask Emma about the army
"A uniform adds a good deal of dash to a character, I'm sure, and the discipline is much to be recommended." Aunt Emma pauses for just a little too long before going on. "All the same, I cannot say I am at all pleased with the reasons for armies to exist in the first
place. However you look at it, war is an absolutely dreadful business."
You ask Emma about the army
"A uniform adds a good deal of dash to a character, I'm sure, and the discipline is much to be recommended." Aunt Emma pauses for just a little too long before going on. "All the same, I cannot say I am at all pleased with the reasons for armies to exist in the first
place. However you look at it, war is an absolutely dreadful business."

"Oh for pity's sake...!"

July, 1916

Getting the other fellows to join in on this story-telling lark seemed like a good idea at the time. It was better than yet another game of cards, anyway, and it rather took the mind off who is or is not going to be at mess in the morning.

It's a little terrifying how accustomed you've gotten to this muddy, grimy hell-hole. You could probably find your way back here in the dark, crawling blind through a maze of twisty trenches, all alike.

Anderson was doodling on an old letter of recommendation earlier, and seems to have forgotten about it.

You can also see Anderson, Jellicoe, Hardy and Macdougal here.

Anderson glares at his batman. "How many times are you going to ask her about that, Macdougal?"

"I think Macdougal just likes hearing the Major talk about how war is such a dreadful business," says Hardy with a look of amusement.

"Well, it's getting tiresome," snaps Anderson, still glaring at poor Macdougal.
You kill anderson
Violence is the answer to a lot of things, but this isn't one of them.

"It's clear she's got nothing else to say on the subject," reasons Jellicoe, "and anyway the story isn't about war or the army or anything like that, is it?"

You shake your head in agreement. This was supposed to be a diversion into a more innocent time.
Xyzzy
MacDougal flashes you a knowing smile, but says nothing.

Macdougal has the grace to look sheepish. "Sorry, sir," he mumbles. "I won't do it again."

"Good. Let's move on."

"Agreed."

Parlour (in the armchair)
The parlour is Aunt Emma's domain, and is wonderfully comfortable and cosy on cold winter nights, especially when there's a fire going in the fireplace. On warm summer afternoons, however, it gets stiflingly claustrophobic.

You are ensconced in an armchair near the fireplace. Escape seems most likely either east into the hall or north into the dining room.

On the mantel are a flower saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.

From her portrait above the fireplace mantel, Queen Victoria gazes benignly down on the room.

Aunt Emma sits by the window, dutifully reading her Bible.

In the armchair you can see Uncle Stephen's latest sermon.

Goodness. What just happened there?
You ask Emma about the army
"It is certainly a respectable career choice, Macdougal." For some reason you can't quite name, you feel reluctant to press the issue further. Nor are you sure why she just called you "Macdougal".
You ask Emma about the army
"It is certainly a respectable career choice, Hector." For some reason you can't quite name, you feel reluctant to press the issue further.
You look at the kitty
A white porcelain cat, with a red bow perched on one side of its head. Rather disturbingly, it has no mouth.
You look at the gnomon
It's triangular and made of brass, with a screwy end where it's supposed to screw into a sundial somewhere.
Fidget
"Don't fidget, Hector," says Aunt Emma. "It's unbecoming."
You ask Stephen about the llew
Uncle Stephen wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.

"Hector...!"

Crumbs! Aunt Emma bears down on you like the wrath of Achilles but stops in surprise when she sees the folder of Uncle Stephen's old sermons in your hands. "Oh!" she says. "Oh ... are those your Uncle Stephen's old sermons? So that's what you were after! You should have just said so. I see I should have trusted you enough to know you could not possibly mean any mischief when you leave your seat."

She actually smiles and pats you on the head. On the bright side, it looks as though she doesn't mind you wandering around any more, since she makes no further attempt to usher you into your chair.
You ask Stephen about the gronw
Uncle Stephen looks inexplicably alarmed. "We'll have none of that talk here," he says sharply.
You ask Stephen about the llew
Uncle Stephen wouldn't have anything interesting to say about that, surely; at least, nothing that you would find interesting.

Uncle Stephen begins to nod drowsily. In a few moments, his pipe droops down onto his chest and he lets out a tiny little snore.
You ask Stephen about bloduwedd
Uncle Stephen stirs and looks bemusedly at you. "Eh? I'm awake.
What is it, Hector?"
You wear the flowers
(first taking the elaborate flower centrepiece)
You hold the elaborate flower centrepiece over your head and pretend for a moment that you're a victorious athlete at the Olympic Games in ancient Greece.
You wear the flowers
You hold the elaborate flower centrepiece over your head and pretend for a moment that it's a halo, your eternal reward for the dreadful trial of sitting through one of Uncle Stephen's interminable sermons.
You wear the flowers
You hold the elaborate flower centrepiece over your head and pretend for a moment that it's a magic holly wreath that gives you the power of invisibility.
You wear the flowers
You hold the elaborate flower centrepiece over your head and pretend for a moment that you're an ancient Irish druid.
Go south
As you approach the front door, you hear Aunt Emma call out to you, "Hector, you're not planning on leaving the house, are you? Please don't."

"This is a little bit ridiculous, don't you think?"

July, 1916

Getting the other fellows to join in on this story-telling lark seemed like a good idea at the time. It was better than yet another game of cards, anyway, and it rather took the mind off who is or is not going to be at mess in the morning.

It's a little terrifying how accustomed you've gotten to this muddy, grimy hell-hole. You could probably find your way back here in the dark, crawling blind through a maze of twisty trenches, all alike.

You can see Anderson, Jellicoe, Hardy and Macdougal here.

Hardy folds his arms. "I really don't see why we can't just open the door and make a run for it."

"Don't be absurd," says Jellicoe, "we'd be in terrible trouble if we did that."
Fuck
Quite.

"We'd be in trouble anyway, if we ever got out of the house," reasons Hardy, not budging. "Which is the point of this little story, isn't it? Getting out of the house?"

"But then we'd have both the aunt and the uncle chasing after us," says Macdougal thoughtfully, "and we'd have to try and find a hiding spot before they catch us, and then we wouldn't be able to enjoy the afternoon because we'd always be looking over our shoulder."
Darn
Seriously? Your sainted Aunt Emma could do better.

Anderson nods. "What we need is a head start. It would also help if no-one knew which direction we ran off in. Isn't that right, Conrad?"

You nod, not wanting to admit that it had never occurred to you to directly defy Aunt Emma, as per Hardy's suggestion. You were just so used to Aunt Emma's authority that the sound of her voice alone was enough to make you stop in your tracks.

Hardy rolls his eyes. "Fine. Clearly you know what's what better than I do. Let's get back to the story."

Bright sunlight shines through the sidelights of the front door, to the south. The rest of the hall is dull and muted, with heavy wood panelling. Aunt Emma's parlour is to the west, Uncle Stephen's study is to the east, and the dining room is to the northwest. A small, unobtrusive door behind the stairs goes northeast to the servant areas, and then there's the hall closet.

Goodness. Was that a dream?
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

Among the many souvenirs of ancient history, you spot a duelling pistol. That doesn't look like the sort of thing boring people like Aunt Emma or Uncle Stephen (or, let's face it, anyone in your whole family) are likely to keep around the house!
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

Sunlight glints off a glass unicorn. Now that's more the sort of pointless ornament you'd expect to find in Aunt Emma's collection.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

You spot a statuette of a black falcon in the midst of all the clutter.
You examine the ornaments
Absolutely everything has some sort of sentimental value. It boggles the mind how any one person can have this much sentiment.

Here's something that's not so bad: a painting of a ship sailing into the sunrise. Or sunset. One of the two.
You look at the mantle
It's one of those extraordinarily sturdy oak affairs. Every time you visit, it looks as though it could not possibly hold even one more little ornament without collapsing; and yet, every time you visit, it looks as though Aunt Emma has managed to fit one more thing on it.

On the mantel are a displaced gnomon, a snake locket, a white cat, a wooden goblet, an owl saucer, a ship painting, a black falcon, a glass unicorn and a duelling pistol, all half hidden in a crowd of other little ornaments.
You ask about the unicorn
"That used to be part of a much larger glass menagerie," says Aunt Emma, "but, well, the less said about that the better."
You ask about the falcon
Aunt Emma seems to hesitate. "An ... old friend picked that up years ago when he was in Malta, and brought it back as present."

You're sure you hear Aunt Emma say something about "dear old Captain Davis..." as she turns back to her Bible.
Wait
Time passes.
You ask Emma about the cat
"Charming, is it not? I always imagine it's saying hello to me when I come into the parlour in the mornings." But how can it, when it has no mouth?
You ask Emma about locket
"That thing was in the house when we moved in, and we've never been able to track down the owners. Well. I suppose we're duty-bound to hold on to it until its true owner shows up."