Escapade!
Juhana Leinonen
castle Comedy cover art gender-neutral protagonist humor humour I7 source available male protagonist One-Room Game Competition 2008 parody puzzles silly single room superhero Xyzzy Awards 2008
You play the bumbling sidekick of the heroic Captain McBrawn; while trying to carry out a task he's set you, you are captured by the Screaming Communists and imprisoned in a mediaeval castle. Your task is to escape.
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"We'll have to split up. I'll go after the bombers, you find the fastest way out of here. Tell the President he has to evacuate, immediately!"

Those were the last words you heard from Captain McBrawn before he rode away hanging on the skid of a helicopter with one hand, his muscular arm gleaming in the light of the setting sun. It is up to you now to find your way to the President of the World and warn him of the impending attack. Finally, some responsibility after all these years!

You descend from the rooftop planning the trip to the drop-off point. At the base of the building the Screaming Communists capture you. Figures.

A group of stern, vicious looking Screaming Communists march through the barren land, dragging you behind them. Their destination is a gloomy medieval castle. The commander shouts orders to one of the soldiers who grabs you by the collar of your sweater and escorts you inside.

After a long climb through dark corridors and endless staircases the guard throws you in a dark, cold cell and slams the door shut. A chill runs down your spine and desperation starts to creep in.

Escapade!

This game is free software. Type LICENSE for details.

The moonlight gives dim illumination to the front part of the cell, leaving the opposite wall completely in the dark. There's an unlit light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a heavy steel door on the wall opposite to the barred window, but the room is otherwise featureless.

You can barely make out the outlines of some dark shapes in one dark corner of the cell.

(For more information about the game, type ABOUT.)
About you
You're the hero of the day, the man everyone looks up to, the uncontested champion of the Free World, the celebrated superstar - Captain McBrawn.

Or at least you would like to be. The truth is that you are Scotty, Captain McBrawn's short and a bit round sidekick. You have followed him on his adventures and helped him mostly by staying out of his way, but now you have a mission of your own.

You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.
Inventory
You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.
You look at the photograph
It's a postcard sized signed photograph of Captain McBrawn. You carry it with you everywhere you go and it's beginning to show the wear and tear.
You examine the shapes
There's something very unnerving in the darkest corner of the cell... You can see the outlines of a round lumpy object and another, taller figure almost your size.

It's as if the taller shape just moved a bit. You hold back a whimper.
You examine the shapes
You are wearing a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.

You daren't look anymore. Maybe they'll go away.
Options
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
P.
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You go to the north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You look at the shapes
You daren't look anymore. Maybe they'll go away.
Scream
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says.

"Help! You have to get me out of here!" you beg.

"HA! HA! WHY would I do THAT? I'M THE GUARD, I'M SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOU INSIDE!" the voice roars.
Options
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
P.
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You go to the north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You go to the north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Options
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
Go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You go north
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: -keyword-

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: -keyword-

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
You examine the clothes
You are wearing a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.
You ask the guard to turn on the lights
There is no reply.

"WELL if you DIDN'T HAVE anything else," the guard shouts and closes the eyehole.
You look at the shapes
You daren't look anymore. Maybe they'll go away.
You remove the sweater
You strip naked.
About yourself
You are Scotty, Captain McBrawn's short and a bit round sidekick. You have followed him on his adventures and helped him mostly by staying out of his way, but now you have a mission of your own.

You are carrying a photograph and wearing nothing.

Also, your adventuring clothes are on the floor.
Smell
The air smells weird, like the cell has never been cleaned.
Hello
"Hello? Anyone?" you say quietly but get no answer.
You examine the floor
The stone floor is a dirty and cold.
You examine walls
The gray stone walls surround you from all directions.
You examine the ceiling
The ceiling is far above the ground. There's a largish square up in the ceiling on one side.
You examine the square
There's a largish square up in the ceiling on one side.
You examine the bulb
The light bulb is hanging low on an electrical wire. It is unlit.
You examine the picture
It's a postcard sized signed photograph of Captain McBrawn. You carry it with you everywhere you go and it's beginning to show the wear and tear.
You examine the window
The window is nothing but a hole in the wall with three iron bars running across it. Through it you see a beautiful moonlit night sky.
You examine bars
Three iron bars prevent anyone from climbing out the window.
You look
The moonlight gives dim illumination to the front part of the cell, leaving the opposite wall completely in the dark. There's an unlit light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a heavy steel door on the wall opposite to the barred window, but the room is otherwise featureless.

You can barely make out the outlines of some dark shapes in one dark corner of the cell.

The light is just enough for you to see the adventuring clothes on the floor.
You pull the bulb
The bulb comes easily out from its socket. It was screwed in only very slightly.
You knock on the door
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "WHAT THE... are you NAKED IN THERE?"
Yes
The guard refuses.
You ask the guard about the light
(the light bulb)
"Could you please switch the light on?" you ask politely. "WHAT ARE you TALKING ABOUT?" the guard yells. "The power IS ALREADY ON!"
You ask the guard about the bed
"I do not UNDERSTAND you!" the guard shouts.
You put the bulb in the socket
You screw the lamp tighter into the socket and it lights up.

The light reveals the rest of the cell - an air duct running above the window, a simple rug on the floor, a hole that's probably meant to be used as a toilet and not much more.

Except a small, grinning, black monster in the corner next to a bulky sack.

"WHAT the... HELP!" you scream.
You look at the monster
You move across the room toward the creature. The lamp hanging from the ceiling is just on the right height to bonk you on the forehead on your way. (ktonk!)

The creature is small, shorter than you, and pitch black. It has an oblong head, no ears, tiny black eyes, and sharp, black teeth clearly visible behind a lipless mouth.

A constant dripping of spit from between its teeth forms a small greenish puddle of saliva by its feet.
You tell the guard about monster
You lean closer to the door and whisper: "There is some... thing in the cell with me!"

"You are IMAGINING things!" the guard yells.
Point to monster
(with the photograph)
You point the photograph at the creature.
You read the photograph
"To Sotty, Cpt. Harrison McBrawn." Good ol' Captain. Still doesn't remember your name.
You ask the monster about the guard
"I guess that was all," you say to the guard before talking to H.R. "JUST DON'T BOTHER ME ANYMORE," the guard yells and slides the eyehole shut.

Before getting into detailed discussion, your first reaction is to tackle the surprising situation with the delicacy you have applied to most things in your life. "What the duck is that!?" you yell and point at the creature. Much to your (additional) surprise, it replies. "Well, that's not what I would call a friendly greeting, monkey boy!"

You dare to go a bit closer. "H.R.'s the name, and -trading- is my game!" It pats the sack it has next to it. "I have everything a man of your standing would need, from kitchen utensils to trebuchets. Looks like I got your attention, little man - if you're interested, ask me for a -free sample-!"

It takes a while for the words to sink in. Not the least because the creature's voice combines hisses, clicks and high-pitched whirs which makes it quite hard to understand.
You examine creature
The creature is small, shorter than you, and pitch black. It has an oblong head, no ears, tiny black eyes, and sharp, black teeth clearly visible behind a lipless mouth.

A constant dripping of spit from between its teeth forms a small greenish puddle of saliva by its feet.
You ask the hr about the trading
"So... You're a trader?" you ask. "Yessir, that I am!" the creature replies. "I am well known everywhere in -Castle Schweinehund-, swapping items you no longer need for quality merchandise! Just show me what you got and I'll see if there's something I could trade you for it."
You ask the creature for the free sample
"So, what's the free sample?" you venture.

"The free sample, eh?" H.R. says and flashes a smile. "The minute I saw you I said to myself 'H.R., there is a man who goes to the supermarket just for the free taste samples.'" It reaches for the sack and pulls out a squarish metallic object which it hands to you. "Here ya go, sport. Knock your teeth out."
You ask the hr about the Castle Schweinehund
"What is this place anyhow? Where are we?"

"This is Castle Schweinehund," H.R. tells you. "Story goes that the -previous owners- built it on an ancient burial ground and used it to perform occultist rituals, opening portals to other worlds and so on. Sounds like old wives' tales to me," it says and runs its hand across its tail.
You ask the hr about the previous owners
"Who were the previous owners?"

"I'm not sure exactly. They were quite loud as well but not to the extent of the current ones."
You examine the metal
What do you want to examine: the metal plate, or the squarish metallic object?
Object
After closer inspection the squarish metallic object turns out to be a slightly rusted Skindude(tm) multitool. It has two hollow halves connected with a hinge on one end. The halves can be opened to reveal knives, files, pliers and other tools inside. Excellent.
You take the clothes
(first dropping the Skindude(tm) multitool to make room)
You lift the adventuring clothes to your arms.
You take the skindude
(first dropping the adventuring clothes to make room)
Taken.
You wear the clothes
"Thank heavens," H.R. sighs when you put on your clothes.
Show skindude to hr
(first taking the Skindude(tm) multitool)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.
You examine the puddle
A sizzling greenish puddle of saliva is forming by the feet of the creature.
Show clothes to hr
(first taking the clothes off)
"Can I get anything for these?" you ask and offer your clothes to the creature.

H.R. looks at the clothes in disdain. "If I took them, it would mean you couldn't put them back on. And that's very unacceptable."

"Aww, don't sulk," H.R. says when it sees your expression. "Let's make a deal: you put your clothes back on and I'll give you something nice. Ok?"
You wear the clothes
You put your clothes back on.

"That's more like it! Here you go," H.R. says and digs through the sack. It hands you a small tube.
You look at the tube
It is a small tube of glue remover.
You ask the hr about the saliva
What do you want to ask H.R. about: the puddle of saliva, or the acidic spit?
Spit
That's a nasty habit.

"Yeah, and your -spit- isn't as cool as mine," H.R. comments.
You ask HR about the vent
"Where does that vent lead?"

"Oh, it runs through the entire castle," H.R. tells you. "And it reaches the outside in several places, of course."
Examine vent
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small grate in the bottom of it.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
You show the photo to the hr
(first taking the photograph)
"Look, here's Captain McBrawn. Doesn't he look heroic and brave?"

"Wait, where's his head?" H.R. asks. "It's right there behind his biceps," you say.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a photograph and some glue remover and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a Skindude(tm) multitool is on the floor.
You examine the multitool
It's a slightly rusted Skindude(tm) multitool, with all sorts of useful tools inside.
You open the multitool
You pull the halves apart and the Skindude(tm) opens with a creak. A swarm of rust flakes flies from the hinges. Looks like almost everything inside is rusted through; the only tool that looks even remotely useful is the screwdriver.
You open vent with the screwdriver
(first taking the Skindude(tm) multitool)
It's not locked.
You examine the hole
It's a smelly little hole.
You look in the hole
Fortunately it seems to be empty.
You examine door
The door is made of heavy reinforced steel plates, attached with large bolts. The hinges are on the left side and on the right side is the keyhole.

There's a small rectangular metal plate in the middle of the door.
You examine the plate
You move across the room to get closer to the metal plate. The lamp hits you on the forehead again. (ktonk)

There's a metal plate embedded in the door on the eye level, about three centimeters high and thirty centimeters wide.

H.R. taps the floor with its foot.
You examine the lamp
The light bulb is hanging low on an electrical wire. It is lit.
You examine the wire
The wire hangs from the ceiling from a fragile looking attachment and leads to the cross section of the ceiling and two walls.
You look at the plate
There's a metal plate embedded in the door on the eye level, about three centimeters high and thirty centimeters wide.
You unscrew the plate
It doesn't move.

H.R. yawns.
You examine the hinges
The hinges of the door are screwed into the wall.
Up
You jump up and down.
Look around
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window and there's a hole in the floor under it in the corner, apparently to be used as a toilet. A light bulb hangs from the ceiling illuminating the cell. A simple rug is on the floor.

H.R. stands there next to a large burlap sack.
You unscrew the hinges with the screwdriver
You take the Skindude(tm) multitool and loosen the screws on the hinges.

After a good push the door falls open without its hinges. You run through it and turn left in the corridor - and end up in the arms of the guard. "HOW THE... DID THE DOOR JUST FALL DOWN?" he shouts.

The guard grabs you and takes you to what's probably a break room. There are a dozen Screaming Communists sitting there, watching you suspiciously and shouting a word or two at times.

"Congratulations on your escape," H.R. mocks you when they return you to the cell. The door seems to be fixed now.

You wave the screwdriver victoriously. "They didn't take this away! I'll just unscrew the hinges again!"

"Oh, by the way, they bolted the hinges while you were away. Sorry, what were you saying?"
You examine the rug
The rug has bright stripes in all the colors of a neon rainbow.
You take the rug
(first dropping the Skindude(tm) multitool and the glue remover to make room)
You roll the rug and lift it to your arms.

Glancing down on the floor where the rug used to be you notice a trapdoor in the floor!

"What a shocking revelation," H.R. says.
Show rug to hr
You remember the low-hanging lamp mere milliseconds before it hits you on the forehead. (ktonk)

"Would you trade this with me?" you ask.

"Hmm... It is a nice rug, in a way, but I've seen much nicer ones in my days. It doesn't even fly," H.R. sneers. "But since you're my best customer in this cell at the moment, I'll get you something nice for it. Let's see... a Jack Mills novel... no... a trophy... hmm..."

The creature pulls from its sack a large cube-like thingamabob, hands it to you and puts the rug away.
You look at the cube
The cube-like thingamabob has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.
You examine cube
The flux capacitor has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.
You take all
glue remover: (first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
Taken.
Skindude(tm) multitool: Taken.
toilet hole: Taken. Wait, what?

(bulky items, i.e. the flux capacitor, were ignored)
You show the flux capacitor to the hr
(first taking the flux capacitor)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.
You check your inventory
You are carrying a flux capacitor and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, some glue remover, a Skindude(tm) multitool, and a toilet hole are on the floor.
You show the multitool to the hr
"I don't want this. It's rusted through," you complain. "It was free," H.R. snaps. "Oh well, I guess I could find something else... " It rummages through its sack. "Let's see... a cake... no... a brass lamp... hmm... Here, you can have this."

It hands you a dusty old book.

(first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
You take the hole
Taken.
You put the hole on the door
(ktonk)

You slap the hole against the door. It sticks there and through it you can see the corridor on the other side.

"That seems... unlikely," you say"I've seen stranger things around here," H.R. shrugs.
You enter the hole
It's way too small to fit through.
You reach through the hole
You put your hand through the hole in the door. Yes, the key is in the lock and at your reach!
You turn the key
You reach through the toilet hole and reach for the keyhole on the other side. You are delighted to find the key in the lock!

The key turns easily and you open the door very very carefully. You sneak into the corridor and close the door again.
You unlock the door with the key
The guard stands behind the door with his arms crossed.

"Do you REALLY THINK I wouldn't NOTICE A HAND REACHING THROUGH THE DOOR?" he roars.

"Well I kinda assumed so," you say.

He squints his eyes and takes a step forward. You open the door again, step inside and close the door.

The guard grabs the hole and pulls it off. "NO MORE TRICKS!" he yells.
You examine the hole
It's a smelly little hole. Incredibly enough it seems to be a portable model.

The toilet hole is currently attached to the door.
You get the hole
You peel the hole off the door.
You put hole on the door
You slap the hole against the door. It sticks there and through it you can see the corridor on the other side.
You turn the key
You reach through the toilet hole and reach for the keyhole on the other side. You are delighted to find the key in the lock!

The key turns easily and you open the door very very carefully. You sneak into the corridor and close the door again.

The guard stands behind the door with his arms crossed.

"Do you REALLY THINK I wouldn't NOTICE A HAND REACHING THROUGH THE DOOR?" he roars.

"Well I kinda assumed so," you say.

He squints his eyes and takes a step forward. You open the door again, step inside and close the door.

The guard grabs the hole and pulls it off. "NO MORE TRICKS!" he yells.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a dusty old book and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor and some glue remover are on the floor.
You look at the book
It says "ENCYCLOP?DIA ESCAP?DIA: The Definite Guide to Getting Out of All Kinds of Trouble" in large block letters on the cover.
You read the book
Instead of finding pages full of useful information you find that all the pages apart from one have been glued together and the book has been carved hollow to create a secret compartment inside. In the compartment there's a drinking glass and a small bottle of brown liquid.
You look at the liquid
What do you want to examine: the glue remover, the puddle of saliva, or the whiskey bottle?
Bottle
According to the label the bottle contains Meisterj?ger, a strong liquor.
You use glue remover on book
"Use" is too vague; you need to be more specific.
You remove the label
What do you want to remove: the whiskey bottle, the flux capacitor, or the sticker?
You spit on the hinges
(ktonk)

"Nope," the creature says.
You take acid with the glass
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just take the puddle of saliva.
You take the puddle
You scoop some of the spit from the floor into the glass.
You pour the spit on the hinges
(the acidic spit on the hinges)
You move across the room, now remembering that devilish lamp and going around it! Take that, lamp!

(first taking the acidic spit)
You pour a few drops of the spit on the hinges. The spit sizzles away in trails of smoke, leaving brown spots where it landed.
You pour the spit on the bars
(ktonk)

(first trying to take the puddle of saliva)
You scoop some of the spit from the floor into the glass.
You pour the spit on the bars
(the acidic spit on the iron bars)
(first taking the acidic spit)
Carefully applying the creature's spit on both ends of the bars, one after another they corrode off and fall on the cell floor. You climb out through the window. It's hard to see in the dark, but the ground doesn't seem to be that far away so you just jump.

"Freedom! Freedom! Free--" you rejoice just before landing in a moat. Your are in the water by the neck and your feet are stuck in the mud. "Uh... Hello? Someone? ..."
You read the book
There's only one readable passage.

A flashlight is an essential tool in any dark or low-light environment. It is a device that consists of a lamp inside a parable-shaped casing surrounded by a reflective surface to focus the light to a single direction.

Flashlights can been used as communication devices, typically by flashing the light in pre-agreed sequences. There are documented cases[citation needed] of using a flashlight or a searchlight as a signalling device by attaching a template in front of the light source to create shapes in the surface the light is pointed at.
You look at the book
It's an ENCYCLOP?DIA ESCAP?DIA shaped box with barely any of the articles left to read. There's a whiskey bottle inside.
You point the lamp at the window
(the barred window)
(first taking the light bulb)
"Stupid bulb, you're gonna get it," you mutter and yank the bulb from its socket. The wire snaps and you're left with a bulb attached to nothing but its socket.

Miraculously enough the bulb is still lit even when it's not connected to anything. "Hmm," H.R. muses.

You point the light bulb at the barred window.
You take bottle
Taken.
You look at the label
What do you want to examine: the flux capacitor, the sticker, or the whiskey bottle?
You take the sticker
It's glued fast. It doesn't come off with bare hands.
You examine the trapdoor
It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. It looks like there's some sort of sticker on it.
Go downwards
You jump down the trapdoor to the room below, thumping down on your feet and facing a stone wall. "Now, let's see if this room is easier to escape than the last one," you say to yourself. "I very much doubt it," says the creature's voice next to you.

"How the grue did you get here before me?" you cry. "I didn't, monkey boy. You dropped down the hatch in the ceiling the moment you went through the trapdoor," it grunts.
You open the glue remover
You open the cap and close it again. No need to keep it opened before it's used.
You remove the sticker with the glue remover
(first taking the glue remover)
The glue remover is effective immediately and the sticker comes off easily.
You put the sticker on the door
You slap the sticker on the door.
Look around
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb you carry illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. waves at you.

On the floor are some iron bars and a flux capacitor.
You examine bars
The bars used to be in the window before you corroded them off. They seem to have replaced the bars in the window but left the old ones behind.
You get the bars
Taken.

Dark clouds gather in the sky and block the moonlight.
Show bars to hr
The creature shrugs. "Meh. Those kind of things don't sell."
You put the bulb in the book
You put the light bulb into the encyclopedia.
You put the book on the window
(the barred window)
You put the encyclopedia on the barred window.
You open the book
That's already open.
Close book
You close the encyclopedia.
You open the book
You open the encyclopedia, revealing a light bulb.
You examine pages
A flashlight is an essential tool in any dark or low-light environment. It is a device that consists of a lamp inside a parable-shaped casing surrounded by a reflective surface to focus the light to a single direction.

Flashlights can been used as communication devices, typically by flashing the light in pre-agreed sequences. There are documented cases[citation needed] of using a flashlight or a searchlight as a signalling device by attaching a template in front of the light source to create shapes in the surface the light is pointed at.
You examine the photograph
It's a postcard sized signed photograph of Captain McBrawn. You carry it with you everywhere you go and it's beginning to show the wear and tear.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
Tear photograph
Never! Even the very thought makes you weep gently.

"Oh boo hoo", H.R. says and in exaggerated motions pretends to rub its eyes with fists.
You put the photograph on the lamp
You put the photograph into the encyclopedia.

(first taking the photograph)
Putting things on the light bulb would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
You look at the flux
The flux capacitor has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.
You examine the speed
The speed dial points at zero. Curiously there's a large red line at about 88 miles per hour mark.
You open the trapdoor
It is tightly locked.
You look
There's no such thing here now.

The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. leans against its sack.

On the barred window is an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb).

On the floor is a flux capacitor.
You put the capacitor in the trapdoor
(first taking the flux capacitor)
(first dropping the iron bars, the whiskey bottle, and the drinking glass to make room)
The flux capacitor falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
You examine the power
The power dial goes from zero to 1.21 gigawatts. It's currently pointing at zero.
You ask the hr about sack
"What's in the bag?" you ask.

"That's where I keep my ware," H.R. responds. "You'll find out what's there when you trade something."
You check your inventory
You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, a drinking glass, a whiskey bottle, and some iron bars are on the floor.
Show bars to hr
(first taking the iron bars)
"I think I have one of those already," H.R. says.
You look at the glass
(the drinking glass)
The drinking glass is empty.
You attach the wire to the capacitor
Sparks fly to the air when you touch the socket on the flux capacitor with the exposed wire. There's a loud click from inside the machinery and the tubes behind the front window light up and start blinking like christmas lights.

The needle on the power dial turns to point at 1.21 gigawatts.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
You put capacitor in the trapdoor
(first taking the flux capacitor)
(first dropping the iron bars to make room)
The flux capacitor falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
You throw the capacitor out the window
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just throw the flux capacitor.
You throw the capacitor
The flux capacitor is already here.
You ask the hr about the flux
"What the shuck is this?"

"It's a... well, you find out yourself," H.R. replies.
You drop capacitor out the window
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just drop the flux capacitor.
You put the capacitor in the window
(the barred window)
(first taking the flux capacitor)
That is not something you could put stuff into.

"Hey, watch those stranded prepositions," H.R. points out.
You look at the window
(the barred window)
The window is nothing but a hole in the wall with thick slab of transparent plexiglas installed to it. Through it you see a beautiful moonlit night sky.
You look at the plexiglas
The Screaming Communists have replaced the iron bars with thick transparent plexiglas while you were away. At least it'll keep the cold away better than before.
Scream
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says.
Kiss guard
Keep your mind on the game.
You show the book to guard
(first taking the encyclopedia)
The guard doesn't seem interested.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
You drink the whiskey
It's too strong for your tastes.
You show the whiskey to guard
(first taking the whiskey bottle)
"Would you be interested in a... little drink?" you say and dangle the bottle in front of the eyehole. "Uh, is that MEISTERJ?GER? I most certainly SHOULD NOT... Maybe a little bit, JUST TO KEEP ME WARM ... JUST SLIP it through the HOLE, will you?" "It won't fit through," you remark. "I must open the door... But KEEP IT QUIET, WILL YOU?"

There's a click from the keyhole and the door opens slightly. You slip the bottle to the guard who snatches it from your hand and slams the door shut. In his excitement he doesn't remember to lock the door! You wait for a moment and open it very carefully.

The guard is enjoying his prize and doesn't notice you slipping through the door. You navigate through the castle corridors until you stop behind a door where you hear conversation behind it.

"DID YOU HEAR that FEDOR has found a BOTTLE OF MEISTERJ?GER?" a voice yells.

"Meisterj?ger? AND HE'S NOT SHARING?" another voice shouts. Several other voices murmur in unison. It gets harder to hear, but it seems they all decide to pay a visit to Fedor and his bottle. By the time you've deduced this, the door opens and twenty Screaming Communists march out.

"FEDOR, you OLD DRUNK we've come to DRINK FOR YOUR HEALTH and we've BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT," they shout as they shove you to his lap.

The sounds of the Screaming Communists gradually die out when the bottle is finally empty and you're back in the cell with H.R.

"Welcome back," it says.
You check your inventory
You are carrying an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb) and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.
You examine the glass
(the drinking glass)
The drinking glass is empty.

There's a knock on the door. Not waiting for a response the guard opens the door and shouts: "Your DINNER IS HERE!" He throws a plate in the cell with a silvery package on it and locks the door again.
You look at the package
It's a small bundle of tin foil. Judging by the pungent smell there might be some food inside.
You open the package
You open the tin foil, revealing fried fish.
You look at the fish
They have fried the fish whole but it still looks quite raw. It is reddish in color; it might be a red herring.
"I'm quite sure it is not," H.R. doubts.
You show the fish to the hr
"Do you want this?" you ask.

"Oh no I couldn't... YES I CAN," H.R. shrieks and grabs the foil from your hands. Pieces of fish and drops of saliva fly around as the creature devours your meal. The gruesome show ends in H.R. silently burping and throwing the now empty foil over its shoulder. "Wow, that really hit the spot. Yeah, maybe you'd like something in return?"

It puts its hand in the sack and majestically pulls out tiny nail scissors and hands them to you.
You eat the fish
You can't bring yourself to eating it.

"What, you can't eat the sweet, sweet fish? You're one mysterious dude," the creature says.
You get the foil
You already have that.
You get the scissors
You already have those.
Inventory
You are carrying some nail scissors, a tin foil, an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb), and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
You examine the foil
It's a crumpled sheet of tin foil.
You cut the foil
That's already open.

Cutting that wouldn't solve anything.
You tear the foil
That's not something you can tear.

H.R. scratches its head.
Cut photograph
After hesitating for a while you carefully cut out Captain McBrawn's image from the photograph. It takes a good while with the nearly useless dull scissors.

You look at the McBrawn's silhouette, which is perfectly cut out but the photograph and the autograph is ruined. The sacrifice makes a silent tear roll on your cheek.

"I knew a girl like you once," H.R. remarks. "She was five and she liked ponies. I bet you like ponies too, don't you."
Yes
H.R. gives you a thumbs-up and a grin.
You ask hr about the ponies
H.R. seems to have been distracted and missed your question.
You examine the photograph
It's a silhouette of Captain McBrawn cut from a photograph.
You put the silhouette on the window
(the barred window)
You put the photograph on the barred window.
You point the lamp at the window
(the barred window)
(first taking the light bulb)
You point the light bulb at the barred window.
Point lamp at silhouette
You point the light bulb at the photograph.
You wait
You wait for a while.
You wait
That's already on.

You wait for a while.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
You attach silhouette
What do you want to attach the photograph to?
You attach the silhouette to the window
(the barred window)
You can't attach them together.
You attach the silhouette to the bulb
Putting things on the light bulb would probably not get you any closer to escaping.

You can't attach them together.
You put the foil in the lamp
That is not something you could put stuff into.

H.R. yawns.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a light bulb, some nail scissors, a tin foil, and an encyclopedia and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.
You put the bulb in the book
You put the light bulb into the encyclopedia.
You look at the glass
(the drinking glass)
The drinking glass is empty.
You put the foil on the glass
(the drinking glass)
Putting things on the drinking glass would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
You put the foil in the glass
(the drinking glass)
You put the tin foil into the glass and straighten it against the glass walls.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
You attach the silhouette to the glass
(the drinking glass)
You can't attach them together.
You put the lamp in the glass
(the drinking glass)
(the tin foil)
(first taking the light bulb)
You put the light bulb inside the glass and the tin foil concentrates and reflects the light into a bright beam of light.
You put the silhouette on the glass
(the makeshift flashlight)
(first taking the photograph)
You put Captain McBrawn's silhouette on top of the drinking glass.

The beam of light emitting from the drinking glass casts a shadow on the wall shaped like the Captain.

"Nananananananana CAP-TAAIN!" H.R. sings.
You point the flashlight at the window
(the barred window)
Captain McBrawn's silhouette reflects clearly to the clouds above. You hold the glass in your hand for several minutes, then support it in the window sill and leave it there.

"What happens now?" H.R. asks.

"We wait. Captain McBrawn will be here any minute now." H.R. shrugs and stays silent.

You wait, and wait, and wait. You pace the room from one end to the other again and again. Finally the light bulb flickers ominously and finally burns out completely.

A dreadful darkness falls into the cell but it doesn't last long when the moon comes back from behind the clouds and lights the room with an eerie glow. You give a defeated sigh. H.R. gives you a melancholic look.

A bit later you hear muffled sounds from the corridor. They seem to get louder and louder and you can make out screams and thuds and thumps. You glance hopefully at H.R. who grins and gives you a thumbs-up.

*khaZAM!*

The door practically EXPLODES inwards when the guard's unconscious body flies through it and bright light flows in the cell. You recognize the shadow of the man standing in the door frame.

Yes. It is Captain McBrawn.

"Fear NOT! For I, Captain McBrawn, am here!" He comes in and stands tall in front of you, hands by his waist and holding his sculpture-like chin high. "Let us leave this dreadful place!"

You lower your head. "I have to confess... You told me to go find the President. I didn't get there. The Screaming Communists captured me right away and I failed the mission." The Captain laughs warmly. "Do not worry! I foiled their evil plot with little trouble and came looking for you. The searchlight was very clever of you."

"Well, I had some help..." you say and point at H.R. - but it's gone. You're almost sure you see the tip of its tail disappearing in the ventilation duct. The Captain isn't paying much attention. "Let's go home," he says.

You step over the knocked-out guard and leave.
You show the foil to the hr
"What do you suppose I would do with an empty sheet of tin foil?" H.R. asks.
Inventory
You are carrying some nail scissors and an encyclopedia and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a makeshift searchlight are on the floor.
You examine bars
The bars used to be in the window before you corroded them off. They seem to have replaced the bars in the window but left the old ones behind.
You get the bars
Taken.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
You look
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. stands there next to a large burlap sack.
You hit the door with the bars
On the floor are a dinner plate, a flux capacitor, and a makeshift searchlight.

There's no such thing here now.
You look at the dinner plate
The dinner plate is empty.
You show the plate to the gr
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small grate in the bottom of it.

Please be more specific - what do you want to show?
You show the plate to hr
(the dinner plate to H.R.)
(first taking the dinner plate)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.
You examine the grate
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small grate in the bottom of it.
You open grate
You open the grate on the air duct.
You throw the dinner plate at the window
(the barred window)
That wouldn't solve anything.
You enter the duct
You try to squeeze through the opening, but it's just a bit too small for you to fit through.
You remove clothing
You strip naked.

"That's so very much unnecessary," H.R. remarks dryly.
You enter the duct
Even without clothes the opening is just slightly too small to fit through.
You look at saliva
A sizzling greenish puddle of saliva is forming by the feet of the creature.
You look at the plate
(the dinner plate)
The dinner plate is empty.
You look at the clothes
They are a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.

"I hear your mom lost some weight so they changed her classification to dwarf planet," H.R. quips.

"Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom!" you yell at it.
You check your inventory
You are carrying a dinner plate, some iron bars, some nail scissors, and an encyclopedia and wearing nothing.

Also, your adventuring clothes, a flux capacitor, and a makeshift searchlight are on the floor.
You attach the wire to the door
You tuck the live end of the wire into the keyhole.

"Aww, that's just nasty," H.R. says.
Scream
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "Why you... ARE YOU STILL NAKED?"
You ask the guard about the door
"Could you please open the door?" you ask.

"HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA! HA HA!" is all he replies.
You examine the keyhole
There's a tiny keyhole in the cell door. Too bad you don't have the key.
You attach the wire to plate
(the dinner plate)
You can't attach them together.
You attach the wire to the door plate
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just attach electrical wire to the door.
You attach the wire to the door
You make sure the wire is securely inside the keyhole.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
You lie on the floor
What do you want to knock?

There's no such thing here now.
Scream
"WHAT?" the guard yells.
You put on the clothes
(first taking the adventuring clothes)
You put on the adventuring clothes.
You show the plate to the guard
(the dinner plate to the guard)
(first taking the dinner plate)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
You give the plate to the guard
(the dinner plate to the guard)
The guard doesn't seem interested.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
You put the foil on the eyehole
(first taking the tin foil)
Putting things on the metal plate would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
You put the bar in the keyhole
(first taking the iron bars)
Those are not something you could put stuff into.
Inventory
You are carrying some iron bars, a tin foil (in which is a light bulb), and a dinner plate and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, an encyclopedia, some nail scissors, a flux capacitor, and a drinking glass (in which is a photograph) are on the floor.
You put the scissors in the keyhole
(first taking the nail scissors)
Those are not something you could put stuff into.
You look in the keyhole
Through the keyhole you see a small part of the corridor behind the door. Sweet freedom!
You wear the foil
You contemplate on making a foil hat to prevent unwanted telepathy, but decide you don't have the time.

"The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it?" H.R. wonders.
You wear plate
(the dinner plate)
That is not clothing!
You attach the wire to the door
You make sure the wire is securely inside the keyhole.
You examine the lamp
The light bulb is lit.
You look at the eyehole
There's a metal plate embedded in the door on the eye level, about three centimeters high and thirty centimeters wide.

H.R. taps the floor with its foot.
You put the bulb in the glass
(the drinking glass)
(first taking the light bulb)
There is no more room in the drinking glass.
Point bulb at glass
(the drinking glass)
You point the light bulb at the drinking glass.
Point bulb at guard
You point the light bulb at the guard.
You hit the guard
You would possibly hurt yourself more than the guard.
You take photo
Taken.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
You put the bulb in glass
(the drinking glass)
The lamp fits nicely inside the drinking glass. The glass bends and reflects the light, creating beautiful patterns of light and shadow on the cell walls. The top of the glass throws a weak beam of light on the ceiling.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
You ask the hr about the mexicans
"I've never been to Mexico."

"Huhwhat?" H.R. exclaims.
You show the glass to the guard
(the drinking glass to the guard)
(first taking the drinking glass)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
You put the bulb in the glass
(the drinking glass)
The light bulb is already in the drinking glass.
You ask hr about the grue
"I have nothing to say now," you say to the guard before talking to H.R. "WHATEVER," the guard yells and slides the eyehole shut.

"Yes, yes, run along now," H.R. says.
You put the foil in the glass
(the drinking glass)
There is no more room in the drinking glass.
You put the foil in the glass
(the drinking glass)
You put the tin foil into the glass and straighten it against the glass walls.
You put the bulb in glass
(the drinking glass)
(the tin foil)
You put the light bulb inside the glass and the tin foil concentrates and reflects the light into a bright beam of light.
You shine the light at the guard
(the light bulb at the guard)
(first taking the light bulb)
You point the light bulb at the guard.
You point the flashlight at the guard
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says.

You point the makeshift flashlight at the guard.
You point the glass at the guard
(the makeshift flashlight at the guard)
You point the makeshift flashlight at the guard.
You point the flashlight at eyes
You point the makeshift flashlight at the guard.
You ask the guard for the food
"SPEAK UP!" the guard shouts.
You tell the guard about the monster
"No, I mean it! Look at it, there the monster is!"

The guard squints. "NOPE. CAN'T see ANYTHING," he shouts.
You ask the guard about the toilet
"WHAT?" the guard shouts.
You ask the guard about the guard
"So... you're a guard, huh? How's that working for you?"

The eyes behind the door squint. "Are you COMING ON TO ME?"
Yes
"OK THEN," the guard roars.
You ask the guard about yourself
"Don't you know who I am!?" you demand.
"NO," the guard replies.

"Well... uh... I'm Scotty," you say.
You ask the guard about Captain
(the photograph)
"You should better let me go peacefully before it's too late! This here is Captain McBrawn and he'll be coming to rescue me and then you will be in big trouble!"

"OOH, I'M TREMBLING," the guard shouts.
You ask the guard about escape
"I'm going to break out and save the President!"

"HA! I SPIT at your PRESIDENT!" the guard yells.
Spit at guard
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just spit.
Spit
That's a nasty habit.
You ask the guard about the spit
What do you want to ask the guard about: the puddle of saliva, or the acidic spit?
You ask the guard about the window
(the barred window)
You're about to ask, but you're not sure how to word the question.
You ask the guard about the exercise
Nothing particular about that topic comes to mind.
You ask the guard about the book
What do you want to ask the guard about: the encyclopedia, or the Jack Mills novel?
You ask the hr about Jack Mills
"I guess that was all," you say to the guard before talking to H.R. "ALL RIGHT THEN," the guard yells and slides the eyehole shut.

"Oh, you have other books too?" you ask.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't like this one. It doesn't have any pictures," H.R. says.
You show encyclopedia to the hr
One page comes off the encyclopedia and flutters on the floor.

"Can I have something else instead?" you carefully ask. "Not enough pictures, eh? Well, I'll trade it in but I can't give you anything as nice this time. Let's see... an orange garden hose... no... an electric mixer... hmm... This'll do."

It gives you a can of motor oil.
You examine the oil
The can contains motor oil, meant to reduce friction of moving parts.
You put the oil on yourself
That would surely ruin your clothes. Mom would never get the oil out.

"Your mom is so ugly they moved Halloween to her birthday," H.R. says.

"That's just so not cool!" you cry.
You remove the clothes
You strip naked.

"Oh for crying out loud!" H.R. yells. "That's really not something I would have wanted to see."
You put the oil on yourself
You pour the oil on you and douse yourself with it. Every inch of yourself. Every drop of the oil gets used. The result is one slick and slippery Scotty.

"My eyes! Is there no mercy for my poor retinas?" H.R. cries.
You enter the vent
The motor oil covers your body like sweat on a hot summer night. You slither inside the air duct and pull yourself deeper and deeper inside. Darkness and cold aluminum encloses you from all sides as you twist and turn through the tunnels. Finally there's some light looming from ahead and you slide faster toward it.

Just before you reach the end of the duct a dark shape blocks the light and you're back in near darkness. You force yourself to a halt and stare the figure in the eyes.

"Hey, it's H.R.! What are you doing here?" you ask but the creature doesn't reply. It opens its mouth, and the second, and the third. And it hisses.

You back away in record speed and drop down the grate back to the cell.

"I see you met my -cousin Herbert-," H.R. assumes. "Now please put some clothes on!"
About yourself
You are Scotty, Captain McBrawn's short and a bit round sidekick. You have followed him on his adventures and helped him mostly by staying out of his way, but now you have a mission of your own.

You are carrying a makeshift flashlight, a photograph, some nail scissors, some iron bars, and a dinner plate and wearing nothing.

Also, your adventuring clothes and a flux capacitor are on the floor.
You wear the clothes
(first taking the adventuring clothes)
You put your clothes on.

"I and my eyes thank you, good sir," H.R. says.
You look at the grate
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small opened grate in the bottom of it.
You ask the hr about the cousin
"Wait, you knew there was a monster in the air ducts?" you cry. "Sure. It's cousin Herbert, hired by the -Screaming Communists- to keep the vents safe," H.R. says.

"Then why didn't you say anything before I went in there!?"
H.R. shrugs. "I thought Herbie might have been hungry."
You ask the hr about Herbert
"Wait, you knew there was a monster in the air ducts?" you cry. "Sure. It's cousin Herbert, hired by the Screaming Communists to keep the vents safe," H.R. says.

"Then why didn't you say anything before I went in there!?"
H.R. shrugs. "I thought Herbie might have been hungry."
You ask the hr about Screaming
(the Screaming Communists)
"What do you think of the Screaming Communists?" you ask H.R..

"They're a bit loud for my tastes. And they're not the ideal business partners, either. They tend to rather shoot you and take your stuff instead of trading."
You take the grate
That is not something you would carry around.

H.R. yawns.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a dinner plate, some iron bars, some nail scissors, a makeshift flashlight, and a flux capacitor are on the floor.
You examine the photograph
It's a silhouette of Captain McBrawn cut from a photograph.
You show the scissors to the hr
"Thanks, but I don't need this anymore."

"What am I, a library?" the creature snaps. "Very well, I'll trade it in. Let's see... a battering ram... no... some deck chairs from the Titanic... hmm... Oh, I don't know what this is so maybe you can have it then."

H.R. throws you a small vial.
You examine the vial
The glass vial is very small and delicate. There's some purple liquid inside it and the words "DRINK ME" written on it with beautiful cursive.

H.R. scratches its head.
Drink vial
You take a sip from the vial. It has a very faint taste, something flowery, but you can't quite put your finger on it. Then suddenly the vial starts to get larger and larger; your clothes seem to grow bigger and the walls and the ceiling seem to move further apart from each other.

You climb out from under your clothes that are now too huge to wear. The cell and everything in it seems to have grown at least tenfold. H.R. is a towering monster far away.

"Or could it be that you have just shrunk a lot smaller?" the creature booms.

Very soon you find out that the effect doesn't last very long: you stretch back to your original size.
You examine the vial
The glass vial is very small and delicate. There's some purple liquid inside it and the words "DRINK ME" written on it with beautiful cursive.
Scream
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "Why you... ARE YOU STILL NAKED?"
You show the clothes to guard
(first taking the adventuring clothes)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
You give the vial to the guard
(first taking the potion vial)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
You show the vial to the guard
The guard doesn't seem interested.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
You ask the guard about Screaming
(the Screaming Communists)
"What does it actually mean being a Screaming Communist?"

"You get to SCREAM! And THREATEN PEOPLE! By SCREAMING! AND I LIKE IT!" he replies.
You shout at the guard
"WHAT?" the guard yells.
You attach the wire to the door
You make sure the wire is securely inside the keyhole.
Drink vial
You take a sip from the vial and the world starts to grow smaller and smaller. Very soon you are so small you can't see the guard's eyes anymore - and apparently he can't see you either.

"NOW WHERE did you GO!?" the guard yells. "OH BUGGER, I'm going to GET FLOGGED if I let him ESCAPE!"

He opens the door and peeks inside. "HEY! WHERE DID YOU GO!" You take advantage of the situation and start running through the door.

You run and run and run for what feels like eternity. Then the potion's effect starts to wear out and you grow quickly to your normal size. You managed to cover almost two meters from the door. Running with legs the size of a toothpick doesn't get one very far. You stand there, naked, grinning to the guard who leaps at you and throws you back inside.
You press the space
"YOU STAY HERE and I'll take THIS WITH ME so NO TRICKS ANYMORE!" the guard shouts and takes the potion vial before slamming the door shut.
Look around
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

The creature wags its tail slowly from side to side.

On the floor are your adventuring clothes, a photograph, a dinner plate, some iron bars, a makeshift flashlight, an article, and a flux capacitor.
You ask the hr about the citation needed
"Dunno about that," H.R. says.
You show the article to the hr
(first taking the article)
"Thanks, but you should keep it," H.R. says.
You ask the hr about the citation
H.R. seems to have been distracted and missed your question.
You show the wire to the hr
(first trying to take electrical wire)
You pull the wire out from the keyhole.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
You show wire to the hr
(first trying to take electrical wire)
It won't come out any further.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "The lamp's on, but nobody's in the lighthouse, is there?" H.R. wonders.
You touch the hr with the wire
*kZAP*

H.R. spasms and blinks white light for a while. Trails of smoke rise from its body.

"Careful with that!
" it says.
Scream
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "Why you... ARE YOU STILL NAKED?"
You touch the guard with the wire
"Stop WAVING THAT THING in front of me!" the guard screams.
You touch the guard with the wire
"Stop WAVING THAT THING in front of me!" the guard screams.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it?" H.R. wonders.
You show the capacitor to the hr
(first taking the flux capacitor)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it. "Too bad that doesn't apply to the rest of your head," H.R. quips.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "You're not the brightest lamp of the Christmas lights, are you?" H.R. wonders.
Lick plate
(the dinner plate)
You have eaten a lot of strange stuff, but the dinner plate is not something you want to put in your mouth.
You take the foil
(first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
Taken.
Lick puddle
That would just be too disgusting.
You put the acid in the glass
(the drinking glass)
(first trying to take the puddle of saliva)
You scoop some of the spit from the floor into the glass.
You pour the acid on plate
(the acidic spit on the dinner plate)
(first taking the acidic spit)
You pour a few drops of the spit on the dinner plate. The spit sizzles away in trails of smoke, leaving brown spots where it landed.
Lick hr
"Would you mind if I licked you a bit?"

"Yes. Yes I very much would," H.R. objects.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "There's no battery in your remote, is there?" H.R. wonders.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it?" H.R. wonders.
You put the wire on the flux capacitor
(first trying to take electrical wire)
It won't come out any further.
Break plate
(the dinner plate)
You would possibly hurt yourself more than the dinner plate.
You attach the plate to the flux
(the dinner plate to the flux capacitor)
You can't attach them together.
You put the capacitor on the wire
(first taking the flux capacitor)
Putting things on electrical wire would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
You attach the capacitor to the wire
You can't attach them together.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
You throw plate
(the dinner plate)
The dinner plate is already here.
You look at the trapdoor
(the dinner plate in the trapdoor)
(first taking the dinner plate)
(first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
The dinner plate falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
You attach the wire to the barsa
It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. Looking closely you can see a small switch on the side of it.

There's no such thing here now.
You attach the wire to the bars
You can't attach them together.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
You examine the switch
The small switch on the trapdoor has been pushed to one side.
You pull the switch
You flip the switch and the trapdoor slides effortlessly to the middle of the room. Where it used to be only solid stone floor remains.

"How curious," you muse. H.R. raises the spot above its eye where people usually have eyebrows.
You pull the switch
The trapdoor slides to the right side of the room.
You examine the power
The power dial goes from zero to 1.21 gigawatts. It's currently pointing at the maximum.
You put capacitor in trapdoor
(first taking the flux capacitor)
The flux capacitor falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
You examine the ceiling
The ceiling is far above the ground. The trapdoor hangs open in the ceiling on the opposite side of itself. Which is a bit strange, but hey.
You look at the ceiling trapdoor
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just examine the ceiling.
You pull the switch
The trapdoor slides to the middle of the room.
You pull the switch
The trapdoor slides to the right side of the room.
You go downwards
You jump down the trapdoor and land back into the cell.
You look down
(the floor)
The stone floor is a dirty and cold.
You look at the trapdoor
It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. Looking closely you can see a small switch on the side of it.
You look at the trapdoor
The flux capacitor is already here.

It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. Looking closely you can see a small switch on the side of it.
You examine the flux
The flux capacitor has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.

The tubes inside are blinking bright white light and the device hums silently.
You attach the wire to the trapdoor
The power dial goes from zero to 1.21 gigawatts. It's currently pointing at the maximum.

You can't attach them together.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "There's no mayo in your sandwich, is there?" H.R. wonders.
You ask the hr about the trapdoor
"Ha hoh? Hew mah howeh huh."

"Sorry, but I don't speak Dimwit," H.R. says.
You enter trapdoor
H.R. looks at you.

On the floor are a flux capacitor, a dinner plate, a tin foil (in which is a light bulb), a drinking glass, your adventuring clothes, a photograph, and some iron bars.
You ask the guard about guard
"So... you're a guard, huh? How's that working for you?"

The eyes behind the door squint. "Are you COMING ON TO ME?"

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
Lick wire
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover.
You ask the guard about the door
"Could you please open the door?" you ask.

"HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA! HA HA!" is all he replies.
You enter the trapdoor
The guard eyes you through the eyehole.

H.R. stands there next to a large burlap sack.

On the floor are a flux capacitor, a dinner plate, a tin foil (in which is a light bulb), a drinking glass, your adventuring clothes, a photograph, and some iron bars.
You wait for a while
You wait for a while.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
You go downwards
You jump down the trapdoor and find yourself back in the cell. Since the trapdoor is in the middle of the room, you fall through it again. And again. And again.

"Uh.. A little help here?" you ask after falling for some while. The surroundings are just one big blur and it's giving you a headache. "Oh, all right, you big baby," the creature says and shuffles towards the trapdoor. It flips the switch and the trapdoor slides to one side.

Your fall comes to an abrupt end as you smash on the floor. "Owee," you cry and climb on your feet.
You pull the switch
The trapdoor slides to the middle of the room.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
You get the capacitor
You lift the flux capacitor to your arms.
You go downwards
You jump down the trapdoor holding the flux capacitor.
The speed dial's needle on the flux capacitor approaches the 88 mph mark quickly as you fall faster and faster. Colorful sparks fly to the air from the device and when it reaches the mark, there's a blinding bright flash of white light.

You crash on the floor. Or, rather, ground - the stone floor is gone. Along with the rest of the castle.

This is definitely the same place. You recognize the surroundings as the same, but there's nothing but some construction materials lying around.

Dark clouds are gathering above.

*kZAP*

A lightning bolt strikes the flux capacitor and there's another bright flash. Stupefied you stand in the cell again, smoke rising from your ears.

"Mmm. Smoked monkey," H.R. says and licks the part of its face where lips usually are.
You show the capacitor to the hr
"I don't need this anymore."

H.R. sighs. "Of course you don't need it anymore, it's a funking smoldering piece of twisted metal after you got your hands to it!" It yanks the thing from your hands. "I'll get you something, but just so you'll know I'm not happy about this. I have mouths to feed! Let's see... a teleporter... no... an Internet... hmm... Aha, this just takes up room."

The creature pulls out an improbably large structure of wood and metal. It's many times larger than the sack. "I guess I did have a -trebuchet- there!"
You look at the leaflet
It's a manual leaflet for operating the trebuchet.
You read it
"Thank you for purchasing a WallBreaker(tm) catapult! You are now the proud owner of a finest piece of modern medieval siege equipment.

To operate your WallBreaker(tm) catapult:
1) load the mechanism by turning the winch until the arm has come all the way down.
2) insert ammunition (sold separately) on the cup located at the end
of the arm.
3) pull the lever.
4) repeat until the enemy's defensive structures have fallen.
5) storm the castle with your army."
Turn winch
The winch is missing its handles. You can't get a good grip.
You examine the trebuchet
You can't attach them together.

The catapult is a huge wooden structure on four cracked and worn wheels. There's a lever on the side and a mechanism that is apparently meant to throw objects at a great distance.
You look at the mechanism
What do you want to examine: the catapult, or the winch?
You look at the winch
A round wooden disc connects to the machinery with an axle, where it winds the mechanism. It seems to be missing its handles. There are just holes in regular intervals around the rim of the disc.
You put bars in holes
(first taking the iron bars)
You insert the bars into the holes in the winch. They fit perfectly.

"Isn't that just convenient," H.R. remarks.
Turn winch
You turn the winch with all your might and the catapult's mechanism screams and wails as the arm tensions and lowers down.
You sit on the trebuchet
That's not something you can sit down on.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
You examine the trebuchet
The catapult is a huge wooden structure on four cracked and worn wheels. There's a lever on the side and a mechanism that is apparently meant to throw objects at a great distance.
You put the plate on the trebuchet
(the dinner plate on the catapult)
(first taking the dinner plate)
You wedge the plate into the catapult's arm. It looks like it should hold nicely.
You pull the lever
The catapult's arm snaps forward with tremendous force and stops abruptly at the highest peak.

"Whee," H.R. says.
You sit on the plate
(the dinner plate)
You climb on the dinner plate and ponder the situation. "Let's see... I need something heavy to bring down the wall. Something heavy and large..."

You hear H.R. whirr and click with its mouth. "I wonder what this does," it says.

You glance down and see that it fiddles with the catapult's release lever. "Don't..." you have time to say before it yanks the lever fully back.

"YYYAAAAEEEOOUU" *crash*

You have only a faint recollection of what happens next: there seems to be a lot of screaming and hassle around you. And sharp pain, well, everywhere. Eventually you find yourself back in the cell, still a bit dazzled.

"Wow, that was spectacular," H.R. says. "You brought almost the entire wall down. Too bad you weren't conscious enough to make much use of the situation."

"The Screaming Communists on the other hand were very efficient. They built the wall again and removed the catapult to prevent any further 'accidents'," it continues.
You show the manual to the hr
"No thanks," the creature says.
You put the foil in the glass
You put the tin foil with the light bulb inside into the glass and straighten the foil against the glass walls. The foil concentrates the light into a bright beam of light.
You attach the wire to door
You tuck the live end of the wire into the keyhole.
You put the silhouette on the glass
(first taking the photograph)
You put Captain McBrawn's silhouette on top of the drinking glass.

The beam of light emitting from the drinking glass casts a shadow on the wall shaped like the Captain.
You point the flashlight at the window
Captain McBrawn's silhouette reflects clearly to the clouds above. You hold the glass in your hand for several minutes, then support it in the window sill and leave it there.

"What happens now?" H.R. asks. "Is this the cue for you to put on your clothes?"

"No! We wait. Captain McBrawn will be here any minute now." H.R. shrugs and stays silent.

You wait, and wait, and wait. You pace the room from one end to the other again and again. Finally the light bulb flickers ominously and finally burns out completely.

A dreadful darkness falls into the cell but it doesn't last long when the moon comes back from behind the clouds and lights the room with an eerie glow. You give a defeated sigh. H.R. gives you a melancholic look.

A bit later you hear muffled sounds from the corridor. They seem to get louder and louder and you can make out screams and thuds and thumps. You glance hopefully at H.R. who grins and gives you a thumbs-up.

*khaZAM!*

The door practically EXPLODES inwards when the guard's unconscious body flies through it and bright light flows in the cell. You recognize the shadow of the man standing in the door frame.

Yes. It is Captain McBrawn.

"Fear NOT! For I, Captain McBrawn, am here!" He comes in and stands tall in front of you, hands by his waist and holding his sculpture-like chin high. "Let us leave this dreadful place!"

You lower your head. "I have to confess... You told me to go find the President. I didn't get there. The Screaming Communists captured me right away and I failed the mission." The Captain laughs warmly. "Do not worry! I foiled their evil plot with little trouble and came looking for you. The searchlight was very clever of you."

"Well, I had some help..." you say and point at H.R. - but it's gone. You're almost sure you see the tip of its tail disappearing in the ventilation duct. The Captain isn't paying much attention. "Let's go home," he says.

You step over the knocked-out guard and leave.
Escapes
You can escape the cell in following ways:

- pour H.R.'s spit on the window bars
- attach the toilet hole to the door and unlock it
- accelerate to 88 mph while holding the flux capacitor
- trap the cell door's lock with an exposed live wire
- bribe the guard with the whiskey bottle
- enter the air ducts
- move the trapdoor opening sticker to the cell door
- cheat the guard by drinking the magic potion
- repair the trebuchet and break the door down with it
- build a searchlight and call McBrawn for help

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT, review your SCORE, or see all available ESCAPES (includes spoilers)?
You describe your surroundings
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. A light bulb hangs from the ceiling illuminating the cell.

There's a closed trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. waves at you.

On the floor are some iron bars, a flux capacitor, and some glue remover.
You check your inventory
You are carrying a drinking glass, an encyclopedia (in which is a whiskey bottle), and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor and some glue remover are on the floor.
You attach the wire to the door
(ktonk)

(first trying to take electrical wire)
"I warned you!" you yell and pull the bulb as hard as you can. The wire snaps and you're left with a bulb attached to nothing but its socket.

Miraculously enough the bulb is still lit even when it's not connected to anything. "Hmm," H.R. muses.
You show the whiskey to guard
"Would you be interested in a... little drink?" you say and dangle the bottle in front of the eyehole. "Uh, is that MEISTERJ?GER? I most certainly SHOULD NOT... Maybe a little bit, JUST TO KEEP ME WARM ... JUST SLIP it through the HOLE, will you?" "It won't fit through," you remark. "I must open the door... But KEEP IT QUIET, WILL YOU?"

There's a click from the keyhole and the door opens slightly. You slip the bottle to the guard who snatches it from your hand and slams the door shut. In his excitement he doesn't remember to lock the door! You wait for a moment and open it very carefully.

The guard is enjoying his prize and doesn't notice you slipping through the door. You navigate through the castle corridors until you stop behind a door where you hear conversation behind it.

"DID YOU HEAR that FEDOR has found a BOTTLE OF MEISTERJ?GER?" a voice yells.

"Meisterj?ger? AND HE'S NOT SHARING?" another voice shouts. Several other voices murmur in unison. It gets harder to hear, but it seems they all decide to pay a visit to Fedor and his bottle. By the time you've deduced this, the door opens and twenty Screaming Communists march out.

"FEDOR, you OLD DRUNK we've come to DRINK FOR YOUR HEALTH and we've BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT," they shout as they shove you to his lap.

"ALL RIGHT, IN WE GO," Fedor shouts and inserts a key in the cell door lock.

*kZAP*

He gets a hefty shock from the keyhole, releasing you from his grip. You bolt away - but bump into the other guards. "FORGOT US, did you? STOP SPASMING FEDOR and do your JOB!"

The sounds of the Screaming Communists gradually die out when the bottle is finally empty and you're back in the cell with H.R.

"Welcome back," it says.
Hint
Warning! You are about to spoil the game for yourself! If you are absolutely sure you need a hint, type HINT again.
Hint
"I bet there's something here you could trade with me," H.R. says.
Hint
"Often after you've used some item you can trade it in," H.R. says.
Hint
"Just try giving me anything you carry or what is in the cell," H.R. says.
Look around
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. waves at you.

On the floor are a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass.
You check your inventory
You are carrying an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb) and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.

There's a knock on the door. Not waiting for a response the guard opens the door and shouts: "Your DINNER IS HERE!" He throws a plate in the cell with a silvery package on it and locks the door again.
Hint
"Often after you've used some item you can trade it in," H.R. says.
Wait
You wait for a while.

"Booooring," H.R. says and yawns.
You examine the dinner
There's a tin foil on the plate.
You attach the wire to the door
You tuck the live end of the wire into the keyhole.

"Aww, that's just nasty," H.R. says.

There's a knock on the door. The guard doesn't wait for a response but starts turning the key in the lock and shouts: "Your DINNER IS..."

*kZap*

The electrical wire gives a good shock to the guard and he flies backwards to the opposite wall. You go see if the door opened - and it did! You take off into the corridors.

After wandering around the castle for some while you realize you have no idea where you are. The corridors and staircases create a maze where you just can't know where you're going.

You turn around a corner and bump into the guard who is still a bit dazed. He reacts quickly now and grabs a hold of you. "And STAY THERE!" he shouts when he throws you back in the cell.

A plate with a tin foil bundle on it has been left in the cell.
Xyzzy
H.R.'s voice says, "Oh come on! Talk about beating a dead horse!"
Escape
Yes, that would be the general idea. You just have to be a bit more specific.
Escape cell
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just escape.
You ask HR about the cell
"What is this place anyhow? Where are we?"

"This is Castle Schweinehund," H.R. tells you. "Story goes that the previous owners built it on an ancient burial ground and used it to perform occultist rituals, opening portals to other worlds and so on. Sounds like old wives' tales to me," it says and runs its hand across its tail.
You ask the hr about the magic
"Yes, yes, run along now," H.R. says.
You go to the north
About Escapade!
> How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License

About Escapade!
> How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License
Go north
About Escapade!
How to play
> Talking with characters
Settings
License

About Escapade!
How to play
> Talking with characters
Settings
License
You go north
About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
> Settings
License

About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
> Settings
License
Go north
About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
> License

About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
> License
P.
About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License

> About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License
Escapade! was an entry to the One Room Game Competition 2008 where it finished second out of seven games and was later nominated for three XYZZY awards.

If you get stuck, there's a HINT command and a walkthrough included in a separate file. The hints and the walkthrough will cover only the minimum solution, so there will still be some optional puzzles you have to find the solution without help.

The source code is distributed with the game. You can also download it from http://www.nitku.net/if/escapade/. You are free to modify the game or use snippets from the code; see LICENSE for details.

There's a good chance of a post-competition release. If you find bugs or you have other suggestions, please email me.
I'm also interested in seeing transcripts of playthroughs.

And last but not least, a big thank you to the playtesters: Taleslinger, Mike Tarbert, Christian Moura, George Oliver, Jim Aikin, S. John Ross, and Roger Carbol. Thank you to everyone who later sent transcripts of their plays. This would have been a lesser game without your help.

> About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License

> About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License
Kiss clothes
Keep your mind on the game.
You give the clothes to the hrthe .
(first taking the clothes off)
"Look, we made a deal and you should keep it. I don't take extortion lightly," H.R. snaps.
You put the clothes in the trapdoor
The adventuring clothes fall down the trapdoor and land back in front of you.
You touch the clothes
Mmm. Mom has used the good fabric softener.

"I hear your mom lost some weight so they changed her classification to dwarf planet," H.R. quips.

"Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom!" you yell at it.
You eat the clothes
Let's leave that to orcs and such.
Smell the clothes
They smell like... you.
Search clothes
They are a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.

"Your mom is so ugly they moved Halloween to her birthday," H.R. says.

"That's just so not cool!" you cry.
You examine them
They are a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.
You read them
There are no care labels. Mom knows how to wash them even without.

"Your mom is so poor her picture is on the food stamp," H.R. says.

"Shut up, you... whatever you are," you snap at the thing.
You squeeze them
They're all dry already.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
You throw them
The adventuring clothes are already here.
Sing
You proudly hum Captain McBrawn's theme song and regain a good dose of courage and morale.
Fuck
Such language! What would your mother think of you?

"Your mom is so clumsy, when she falls down she misses the ground," H.R. says.

"Why are you being so mean," you cry.
You ask the hr about the mom
"Yes, yes, run along now," H.R. says.
Pause
The game is now paused. Type any command to continue.