You are a Chef!
Dan Shiovitz
absurd chef Comedy culinary theme diversion easy gender-neutral protagonist humour monkey parser puzzleless silly speed IF Speed-IF 8 SpeedIF SpeedIF January 2000 TADS TADS 2 very brief walkthrough Xyzzy Awards 2000
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HELLO CHEF!!!!!1 You must make FOOD!
You have a list! First to food wins!

You are a Chef!

Hello Cook!!! You are outside a SHOP. You can go north-east or
east. The SHOP is here. An exit leads south. Also there is a POT here.
You examine the shop
The SHOP is known as 'End of Days'. It is however entitled 'A Freak Accident leaves Seattle Pantsless' due to a strange experience in aught-six.
You look at the list
Hello Chef!! You must find items to put in the pot! This will enable the food to be properly made: attention!

The food requires the following ingredients: potato, monkey, octopus, cabbage, paperclips, tomato. Later the MYSTERY INGREDIENT will be delivered!
Go northeast
Hello Cook!!! This is the corner. There is a 23rd here. Also a Lincoln. You can go south-west.
You look at the 23rd
I don't know how to inspect the number 23.Yogurt falls from the sky!
You take the yogurt
Chef, you cannot take the YOGURT without the PEPPER!!
Salmon falls from the sky!
You take the yogurt
Chef, you cannot take the YOGURT without the PEPPER!!
You hear tinkle-tinkle from southwest!

Corn falls from the sky!

You hear wumpf from southwest!

You hear whap from southwest!
You take the corn
Taken. Potato falls from the sky!

Magnet falls from the sky!

You hear fwish from southwest!
You take the potato
Taken. You hear clink from southwest!

Loaf of bread falls from the sky!
You get the potato
You hear ook from southwest!

Taken. You hear thud from southwest!
You take the magnet
Taken. You hear thunk from southwest!
You look around
Hello Cook!!! This is the corner. There is a 23rd here. Also a Lincoln. You can go south-west.
You see a yogurt, a salmon, and a loaf of bread here.
Bruised tomato falls from the sky!
You take the tomato
Taken. You hear plop from southwest!

You hear cackle from southwest!
You take the bread
Taken. Tongs falls from the sky!

Giant octopus falls from the sky!
You take OCTOPUS
Chef, you cannot take the GIANT OCTOPUS without the TONGS!!
You take the salmon
Chef, you cannot take the SALMON without the FORK!!
You take the tongs
Taken.
You take all
yogurt: Chef, you cannot take the YOGURT without the PEPPER!!
salmon: Chef, you cannot take the SALMON without the FORK!!
giant octopus: Taken.
Inventory
You have a list, a corn, a potato, a magnet, a bruised tomato, a loaf of bread, a tongs, and a giant octopus.
You look at the corn
It looks like an ordinary corn to me.
You go southwest
You see a paperclips, a lost sock, a pepper, a monkey, a an apple,
a banana, and the Blair Witch here.
You examine Witch
It looks like an ordinary the blair witch to me.
You get the monkey
Chef, you cannot take the MONKEY without the BANANA!!
You take MONKEY
paperclips: Taken.
lost sock: Taken.
pepper: Taken.
monkey: Chef, you cannot take the MONKEY without the BANANA!!
an apple: Taken.
banana: Taken.
the blair witch: Chef, you cannot take the THE BLAIR WITCH without the MONKEY!!

Taken.
You take MONKEY
Taken.
You look at what you're carrying with you
You have a list, a corn, a potato, a magnet, a bruised tomato, a loaf of bread, a tongs, a giant octopus, a paperclips, a lost sock, a pepper, a an apple, a banana, a monkey, and the Blair Witch.
Go south
Hello Cook!!! There is a LOT of PARKING here because this is a PARKING LOT. Ha ha! A joke! You are permitted by the cars to go only northwards.
You see a chocolate, a fork, and a cabbage here.
You take all
chocolate: Taken.
fork: Taken.
You look
Hello Cook!!! You are outside a SHOP. You can go north-east or
east. The SHOP is here. An exit leads south. Also there is a POT here.
You look at the pot
This is the pot!! In which to put your items! There's nothing in the SOUP pot.
You put the potato in the pot
Good work Chef!!! But you must find more!! Ingrredients!!!
You put all in the pot
potato: The potato is already in the SOUP pot!
monkey: The monkey is already in the SOUP pot!
cabbage: The cabbage is already in the SOUP pot!
list: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
corn: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
magnet: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
bruised tomato: Good work Chef!!! But you must find more!! Ingrredients!!!
loaf of bread: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
tongs: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
giant octopus: Good work Chef!!! But you must find more!! Ingrredients!!!
paperclips: Good work Chef!!! But you must find more!! Ingrredients!!!
lost sock: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
pepper: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
an apple: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
banana: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
the blair witch: You have no desire to put that in the pot!! chocolate: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
fork: You have no desire to put that in the pot!!
A funny clown runs out of the room!A funny clown runs into the room!
You examine the pot
This is the pot!! In which to put your items! In the SOUP pot you see a potato, a monkey, a cabbage, a bruised tomato, a giant octopus, and a paperclips.
You look around
Hello Cook!!! You are outside a SHOP. You can go north-east or
east. The SHOP is here. An exit leads south. Also there is a POT here.
The SOUP pot seems to contain a potato, a monkey, a cabbage, a
bruised tomato, a giant octopus, and a paperclips.
You look at the list
Hello Chef!! You must find items to put in the pot! This will enable the food to be properly made: attention!

The food requires the following ingredients: potato, monkey, octopus, cabbage, paperclips, tomato. Later the MYSTERY INGREDIENT will be delivered!
Go northeast
You see a yogurt and a salmon here.
You get all
yogurt: Taken.
salmon: Taken.
You go to the southwest
The SOUP pot seems to contain a potato, a monkey, a cabbage, a
bruised tomato, a giant octopus, and a paperclips.
A funny clown is here.
A funny clown runs into the room!
Wait
Time passes...
You wait for a while
Time passes...
A funny clown runs out of the room!Iron safe falls from the sky!
It lands on top of clown and breaks open!
You look at your surroundings
Hello Cook!!! You are outside a SHOP. You can go north-east or
east. The SHOP is here. An exit leads south. Also there is a POT here.
The SOUP pot seems to contain a potato, a monkey, a cabbage, a
bruised tomato, a giant octopus, and a paperclips. The iron safe seems to contain a MYSTERY INGREDIENT.
You look at safe
In the iron safe you see a MYSTERY INGREDIENT.
You look at it
I cannot tell you! It is a mystery!!
You put it in the pot
You have completed the soup!! You retired with the FOOD in triumph!! Congratulations Chef!!!