Olivia's Orphanorium
Sam Kabo Ashwell
advocacy children corporal punishment dark grooming I7 source available management NightFloyd transcript orphanage orphans random resource management satire simulation strategy systematic puzzles Victorian Xyzzy Awards 2012
Sparky young entrepreneur Olivia sets out to fulfil her dream of running an orphanage. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
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While not particularly graphic in its depiction, this game is centrally about the institutional mistreatment of children, in which the player character is instrumental. That considered, do you wish to continue?
Yes
When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by
careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid. -- Bierce
You have always dreamed of becoming an orphanmaster, and now you are finally getting to live your dream! Can you rise to the challenge and guide Olivia's Orphanorium from humble beginnings to towering success?

A Casual Simulation by Sam Kabo Ashwell

For further information, see ABOUT.

Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old (though with most of them, age is merely a rough guess). Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Hans, Peyton and Gilbert are housed here.
You examine the fairy tales
First published over a hundred years ago, Lung's Fairy Tales come in a variety of coloured covers, sturdy enough to resist chewing. These appear to form the complete set, and to be mostly first editions; signed bookplates indicate that they were donated to the Waifs and Strays Trust by the author.

Skimming briefly through a few of the Tales, you are shocked at how gruesomely inappropriate they are for children; clearly these predate the more pure-minded Revised Edition. You shudder to think what schemes they might put into a child's head.
You examine Hans
Hans Culter, son of a gamekeeper and a scrawny Salopian bawd.
His discipline is mediocre, his vigour poor, his appearance bad and his morale poor.
Status
Peyton     poor         bad          bad          mediocre
Gilbert    poor         bad          poor         poor
Deedee     abysmal      poor         bad          mediocre
Xyzzy
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Hans, Peyton and Gilbert are housed here.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.

Deedee is housed here.
You examine the tricycle
Relics of the public-sector days, when it was hoped that regular tricycle use might furnish orphans of the correct age with enmuscled shanks, allowing them to better work a treadmill at a later age. Their designer, Hopfrock Truitt, fondly envisaged a future in which orphans would find gainful employment as cycle-rickshaw pilots, a dream dashed when it was discovered to be extremely stupid.

(The tricycles are an activity upgrade; orphans ASSIGNed to them
will slowly become more vigorous. Assigning orphans to self-improvement devices is vital if you wish to shape their character.)
You assign Deedee to the tricycle
You command Deedee Hock to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You look at your surroundings
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Deedee is busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen -- although once a child confined here was discovered, when his birth certificate surfaced, to be a spindly twenty-two. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.
You look at the murals
The murals depict sturdy youths and modest maidens, with classic features and somewhat blank expressions, enthusiastically applying themselves to various forms of wholesome industry. The jobs depicted are chiefly of the rustic sort, or at least involve healthy exercise in the fresh air.
You look at the form
Producing gruel in-house was determined to be inefficient relative to subcontracting, not to mention an incentive to theft. Using this form you can change your standing order with Slophouse & Sons, who offer grades of gruel from 1 to 5, high numbers cheapest. Your current order is for Grade 3, thin gruel; this will cost six coins a day.
You examine the bell
This heavy brass bell summons the orphans to their daily meal, signalling the day's end. You prefer to ring it only when all the affairs of the day have been taken care of.
You examine orphanmaster
This handsome duodecimo volume briefly summarises the most important tools in the orphanmaster's trade, as follows:

ASSIGN a dependent TO some constructive workstation;
also UNASSIGN
BUY items listed FROM a reputable catalogue
CONSULT a catalogue ABOUT the nature and quality of its
wares
DISCIPLINE a dependent, in a manner not exceeding established standards
DISMISS vexing and bootless tasks
SELL unprofitable superfluities
SCORE yourself on the ephemeral scale of worldly accomplishment
RECAP tasks one has promised to undertake, then neglected
ROOM NAME, navigation for the navigation-challenged
SCRUB someone incapable of taking responsibility for their own filthiness
Bureaucratically tabulate the STATUS of all your charges
You examine deedee
Deedee Hock, daughter of a loveless effeminate pawnbroker and a fraudulent fluffer.
Her discipline is abysmal, her vigour poor, her appearance bad and her morale mediocre.
Discipline deedee
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Deedee Hock. Her discipline is now bad.
You examine deedee
Behold: Deedee Hock, daughter of a loveless effeminate pawnbroker and a fraudulent fluffer.
Her discipline is abysmal, her vigour poor, her appearance bad and her morale poor.
You go to the south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Hans, Peyton and Gilbert are housed here.
You examine Peyton
Peyton Cropes, daughter of an advertiser of adult stamps and a Greek medium.
Her discipline is poor, her vigour bad, her appearance bad and her morale mediocre.
You examine Gilbert
Gilbert Graves, son of an addict to Tijuana bibles and an Egyptian milkmaid.
His discipline is mediocre, his vigour bad, his appearance poor and his morale poor. Yet God loves him, thus proving that He is capable of all things.
You take the fairy tales
There are too many of them to cart about.
You assign Gilbert to the fairy tales
device: idle orphans in the relevant ward may be improved by it, or not, and there is nothing that God or man may do to affect the outcome. You can only assign orphans to active improvement devices.
Discipline gilbert
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Gilbert Graves. His discipline is now adequate.
Discipline peyton
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Peyton Cropes. Her discipline is now poor.
You examine Hans
This is Hans Culter, discarded progeny of a gamekeeper and a scrawny Salopian bawd.
His discipline is mediocre, his vigour bad, his appearance bad and his morale poor. He is a perpetual disappointment.
Scrub hans
You seize Hans, delouse his scalp with equal parts pomatum and mercurial ointment (just in case), and scrub him all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Status
Peyton     poor         bad          bad          poor
Gilbert    adequate     bad          poor         poor
Deedee     abysmal      poor         poor         poor
You discipline yourself
You should only discipline orphans.
You scrub yourself
You have already washed. You have particularly clean habits.
About yourself
You are an attractive, capable woman with a sunny disposition, aged 20-35; despite this, your life is sufficiently dull to excite neither unease nor envy in middle-aged ladies.
You scrub  Peyton
Setting the occasional example is one thing, but you would be worn to the bone if you had to groom each and every one of your charges; you are their guardian, not their stable-hand.
You ring bell
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Hans Culter's morale, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Deedee Hock's vigour, which is now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 40 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 6 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food. How tiny people can eat so much is beyond you.

A new orphan, Hunter Blair, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
You scrub Gilbert
You seize Gilbert, drag a comb through his hair, and make him walk around with a book on his head. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.

A new task: Prisoners Dilemma

You are awakened late at night by inexpertly-muffled footsteps on squeaky boards, and rush to check that all your charges are secure. It swiftly transpires that Deedee Hock and Gilbert Graves are both missing; worse, it sounds as if Graves is making for the boarded-up back door in the Junior House, while Hock climbs to the attic and tries to force a window. A perfectly coordinated escape: pursuing one will almost certainly give the other enough time to get away. You have only moments to decide.
1 - Go after Deedee Hock.
2 - Pursue Gilbert Graves.
3 - Come up with a plan that somehow allows you to intercept both.
3
You hesitate too long. There is really no way to accomplish this, but you can't bear to abandon a child. Too late, you choose the attic, but you know before you arrive there that the window will be open, the birds flown. You trudge back downstairs, trying to ignore the buzz of excitement rising from the dormitories.
You look at your surroundings
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

Hunter, Hans and Peyton are housed here.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         poor
Hunter     abysmal      poor         bad          poor
Discipline hunter
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Hunter Blair. His discipline is now bad.
Examine hunter
You are graced by the presence of Hunter Blair, secret brat of a stinking debased footpad and a suicidal poetess.
His discipline is awful, his vigour bad, his appearance awful and his morale poor.
You assign Hunter to the tricycles
It is highly irregular to assign an orphan to a task unsuited to their age. Besides, total chaos would ensue if children were allowed to wander freely between wards.
Examine form
Producing gruel in-house was determined to be inefficient relative to subcontracting, not to mention an incentive to theft. Using this form you can change your standing order with Slophouse & Sons, who offer grades of gruel from 1 to 5, high numbers cheapest. Your current order is for Grade 3, thin gruel; this will cost five coins a day.
You set the form to 1
You amend your order to request grade 1, thick porridge. A gruel finer than any orphan deserves, this stodgy mix contains steel-cut oats, crab-apples, molasses and lumps of beef fat. Any orphan capable of keeping it down will surely grow up big and strong. Your daily food bill is now fifteen coins.
You set the form to 2
You amend your order to request grade 2, substantial gruel. This grade of gruel is somewhat thicker than the basic product, but otherwise much the same stuff. Your daily food bill is now nine coins.
You ring bell
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Hans Culter's morale, which is now adequate.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Peyton Cropes's morale, which is now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 30 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 9 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.

The Orphanorium has been entrusted with two more children: Donny Pinkney is old enough for the Middle House, while Prudence Socket will go to the Junior.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         bad          poor
Hunter     awful        bad          awful        poor
Prudence   abysmal      poor         bad          mediocre
Donny      awful        awful        bad          mediocre

A new task: Mystery Child

Late one night a shuttered carriage pulls up to the Orphanorium gates. The coachman, a swarthy and ill-favoured fellow in mourning-dress, asks to discuss a sensitive matter; his master, he explains, wishes his young ward to be kept discreetly at the Orphanorium. One hundred coins will, he trusts, buy your hospitality and your silence.
1 - Take the money and admit the child.
2 - This smells rotten. Refuse.
1
The coachman nods. Many locks are removed from the carriage; a small boy emerges, and is introduced as Harry Quisling. You discreetly convey him to the Junior House and the coin to your strongbox, then spend the rest of the night amending your records to make it appear that he arrived with the last batch of Ministry brats.
You look at your surroundings
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

Harry, Prudence, Hunter, Hans and Peyton are housed here.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
You examine Harry
This is Harry Quisling, a boy whose origins are shrouded in sordid mystery. His level gaze and long, elegant hands set him apart.
His discipline is abysmal, his vigour mediocre, his appearance poor and his morale mediocre. Such ingratitude is nothing short of monstrous.
Discipline harry
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Harry Quisling. His discipline is now bad.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         poor
Hunter     bad          bad          bad          poor
Harry      bad          poor         poor         mediocre
Prudence   abysmal      poor         bad          poor
Donny      awful        abysmal      bad          poor
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Donny is housed here.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.
You assign Donny to the tricycles
You command Donny Pinkney to occupy himself with the ancient tricycles. He obediently complies.

An official Ministry courier delivers a large brown-paper package. Within is a doorstop of a book: the famed industry catalogue Fobberfish of Hackney's. There is a cover letter from Mr. Fobberfish himself, congratulating you on your appointment, expressing pleasure at the prospect of working together and solidarity as a fellow-contracter, drawing your attention to the superior, competitively-priced products supplied by his humble business, and suggesting that they might be brought into fruitful conjunction with your Ministry funds.
You look at the catalogue
A respected specialist catering to the orphan management trade, Fobberfish of Hackney provides a wide variety of goods at virtually affordable rates. Bowing to the decadence of the age, this once-respectable publication now features many vain luxuries that you can safely ignore, such as fair-trade gruel, artisanal wildflower soap, and smallpox vaccines. The few items of real utility have been circled in red pen:

Ruritanian Mastiffs (400 coins)
The Box (300 coins)
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill (400 coins)
My First Delousing Bath (350 coins)
Spinal Corrective Corsets (450 coins)
Dr. Pranger's Lithium Water (700 coins)
triple-barred windows (350 coins)
The Harvest of Sin (700 coins)
You read about Box
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
Recommended by veterans of the profession, The Box is the surest way to instil discipline in an orphan. Adjustable to fit children of all ages. Includes installation costs.
You read about the Mastiffs
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
Too ugly to love and too foul-tempered to suborn, Ruritanian Mastiffs form an essential part of any professional orphan-retention system.
You read about the treadmill
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill produces a negligible quantity of electrical power, but (more importantly) its persistent use strengthens the thighs, calves and buttocks of older children, while teaching them the value of a hard day's work.
You scrub Donny
You seize Donny, pinch his cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and scrub him all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now awful.
Status
Peyton     poor         bad          poor         poor
Hunter     bad          awful        awful        poor
Harry      awful        poor         poor         mediocre
Prudence   abysmal      poor         bad          poor
Donny      bad          awful        bad          poor
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Harry, Prudence, Hunter, Hans and Peyton are housed here.
Discipline harry
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Harry Quisling. His discipline is now poor.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Donny Pinkney's vigour, which is now bad.

You receive a government stipend of 60 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 18 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Peyton Cropes has improved her morale.

Peyton Cropes and Hunter Blair have grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.
(When orphans age up, they abandon any assigned tasks. You may
want to reassign them.)

A new orphan, Randy Potts, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
You recruit Harry
Harry Quisling appears sceptical about the proposition, but the foreman describes it as a sort of grand game, while keeping a firm grip on his arm. They depart to the mill, to return once the engines are running once again.
Scrub randy
You seize Randy, delouse his scalp with carbolic acid, and apply a rough brush to those parts of his person that he has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Randy      mediocre     abysmal      bad          poor
Hunter     bad          bad          bad          poor
Harry      bad          poor         poor         mediocre
Prudence   abysmal      poor         awful        poor
Donny      awful        poor         awful        poor
You discipline Prudence
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Prudence Socket. Her discipline is now bad.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Randy      mediocre     awful        bad          poor
Hunter     bad          awful        bad          poor
Harry      poor         bad          poor         mediocre
Prudence   bad          bad          bad          poor
Donny      bad          poor         bad          poor
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Hunter and Peyton are housed here.

Donny is busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Discipline donny
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Donny Pinkney. His discipline is now poor.
You assign Hunter to the tricycles
You command Hunter Blair to occupy himself with the ancient tricycles. He obediently complies.
You assign Peyton to the tricycles
You command Peyton Cropes to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.

Harry returns in triumph, having successfully unclogged twenty years of impacted fluff from the main doohickey of the whatsit. After careful questioning, he reveals that the foreman gave him 25 coins in thanks, and entrusts them to you for safe-keeping.
You go to the south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Harry, Randy, Prudence and Hans are housed here.
You examine Harry
This is Harry Quisling, a boy whose origins are shrouded in sordid mystery. His level gaze and long, elegant hands set him apart.
His discipline is poor, his vigour poor, his appearance poor and his morale mediocre. He must make more effort.
You ring bell
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Hans Culter's morale, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Peyton Cropes's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hunter Blair's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Donny Pinkney's vigour, which is now poor.

Donny Pinkney has constructed a small glider out of bedsheets and crutches and escaped! Given his ingratitude and weak character, you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that he has been forced to subsist as a frame-breaker. (High vigour in an orphan aids in escape attempts; high discipline and morale protect against it).

You receive a government stipend of 60 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 18 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Randy Potts has improved his morale.

Harry Quisling has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         poor
Randy      mediocre     abysmal      poor         mediocre
Hunter     bad          bad          bad          poor
Harry      poor         mediocre     poor         adequate
Prudence   awful        poor         bad          poor

A new task: Top Ranking
In any well-regulated society, there must be a recognised order. Even among the savage peoples and urban poor, some shade of hierarchy will always arise from the machinations of violence and vanity. And so it is among orphans, though their society is little more advanced than a troupe of feral macaques. A good orphanmaster must always know whose star is in the ascendant, and how they may best be managed.
Until recently, Randy Potts was the seldom-disputed king of the dormitories. But your informants aver that a coup is in the offing. This would usually be grounds for interest but not alarm, but today the challenger is the Quisling child. If he is damaged somehow, your mysterious sponsor might not be best pleased. And you don't like the child; having him at the top of the pecking order seems a hazardous prospect.
1 - Ensure Randy Potts loses.
2 - Sabotage Harry's campaign.
2
Harry's reputation is on the rise, but if it never comes to anything it will drop. You keep a careful eye open in order to head off actual fights, while turning a blind eye to minor torments perpetrated by Randy Potts's proxies. Harry acquires a harried look, and Randy a decidedly smug one.

Then your vigilance fails; while a decoy lures you into B Corridor with the scent of cigar-butts, a merciless duel is fought atop the west roof, before solemnly sworn witnesses. After the fact, both have bloody noses but Harry is grinning broadly, and continues to do so through all the punishment you can exact.
You go to the north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Harry is housed here.

Hunter and Peyton are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You examine Harry
This is Harry Quisling, a boy whose origins are shrouded in sordid mystery. His level gaze and long, elegant hands set him apart.
His discipline is bad, his vigour mediocre, his appearance poor and his morale adequate. Until licenses are required to breed, his kind will only proliferate.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Randy      mediocre     bad          bad          bad
Hunter     bad          poor         awful        poor
Harry      awful        mediocre     poor         mediocre
Prudence   awful        bad          bad          poor
You look at Harry
This is Harry Quisling, a boy whose origins are shrouded in sordid mystery. His level gaze and long, elegant hands set him apart.
His discipline is bad, his vigour mediocre, his appearance poor and his morale adequate.
Status
Peyton     poor         mediocre     poor         mediocre
Randy      mediocre     awful        bad          poor
Hunter     bad          poor         awful        poor
Harry      poor         poor         poor         adequate
Prudence   bad          bad          bad          poor
You assign Harry to tricycles
You command Harry Quisling to occupy himself with the ancient tricycles. He obediently complies.
You look at the catalogue
A respected specialist catering to the orphan management trade, Fobberfish of Hackney provides a wide variety of goods at virtually affordable rates. Bowing to the decadence of the age, this once-respectable publication now features many vain luxuries that you can safely ignore, such as fair-trade gruel, artisanal wildflower soap, and smallpox vaccines. The few items of real utility have been circled in red pen:

Ruritanian Mastiffs (400 coins)
The Box (300 coins)
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill (400 coins)
My First Delousing Bath (350 coins)
Spinal Corrective Corsets (450 coins)
Dr. Pranger's Lithium Water (700 coins)
triple-barred windows (350 coins)
The Harvest of Sin (700 coins)
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Randy, Prudence and Hans are housed here.
Status
Peyton     poor         poor         poor         poor
Randy      mediocre     awful        poor         poor
Hunter     bad          bad          bad          poor
Harry      poor         mediocre     poor         mediocre
Prudence   poor         awful        bad          poor
You scrub Prudence
You seize Prudence, pinch her cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and apply a rough brush to those parts of her person that she has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now bad.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Peyton Cropes's vigour, which is now mediocre.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Randy Potts's morale, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hunter Blair's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Harry Quisling's vigour, which is now adequate.

You receive a government stipend of 60 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 18 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Hans Culter and Randy Potts have improved their morale.
Status
Peyton     poor         mediocre     poor         mediocre
Randy      mediocre     abysmal      bad          mediocre
Hunter     bad          poor         bad          poor
Harry      poor         mediocre     poor         adequate
Prudence   bad          abysmal      poor         bad

A new task: A Grueling Task
While taking inventory, you discover that your gruel deliveries are regularly falling short. Indeed, they're falling short by almost precisely as much gruel as one greedy orphan can cram down at a sitting. Somehow, one of your charges has found a way to circumvent your protective measures and indulge in banditry. This crime will out, and the best way to extract a confession is through whippings. Your first suspects should be the plump and cheerful ones.
Recap
While taking inventory, you discover that your gruel deliveries are regularly falling short. Indeed, they're falling short by almost precisely as much gruel as one greedy orphan can cram down at a sitting. Somehow, one of your charges has found a way to circumvent your protective measures and indulge in banditry. This crime will out, and the best way to extract a confession is through whippings. Your first suspects should be the plump and cheerful ones.
Look around
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Randy, Prudence and Hans are housed here.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Harry, Hunter and Peyton are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Whip Peyton
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Peyton Cropes. Her discipline is now mediocre.

Even under duress, Cropes denies being involved in gruel-theft. You are not entirely convinced, but decide to try some other suspects first.
Whip Harry
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Harry Quisling. His discipline is now mediocre.

Even under duress, Quisling denies being involved in gruel-theft. You are not entirely convinced, but decide to try some other suspects first.
Whip Hunter
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Hunter Blair. His discipline is now poor.

Even under duress, Blair denies being involved in gruel-theft. You are not entirely convinced, but decide to try some other suspects first.
Whip randy
Enough for today: there are regulations about excessive corporal punishment. Besides, if you thrash every child continually, they'll grow leathery and insensate.
Status
Peyton     mediocre     mediocre     poor         poor
Randy      mediocre     awful        poor         poor
Hunter     poor         poor         awful        poor
Harry      mediocre     mediocre     poor         mediocre
Prudence   poor         abysmal      poor         bad
Scrub hunter
You seize Hunter, spit-wash his grimy little face with your second-best handkerchief, and tell him that he will be spending his break re-ironing his crumpled clothes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Peyton Cropes's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hunter Blair's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Harry Quisling's vigour, which is now adequate.

You receive a government stipend of 60 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 18 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Randy Potts has gained vigour.
Whip Hans
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Hans Culter. His discipline is now mediocre.

Even under duress, Culter denies being involved in gruel-theft. You are not entirely convinced, but decide to try some other suspects first.
Whip randy
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Randy Potts. His discipline is now mediocre.

Even under duress, Potts denies being involved in gruel-theft. You are not entirely convinced, but decide to try some other suspects first.
Whip prudence
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Prudence Socket. Her discipline is now poor.

Under close interrogation, Prudence confesses to being the gruel-thief. Justice is served! You thrash her soundly, confiscate her paraphernalia of crime, and sleep peacefully.
Status
Peyton     mediocre     mediocre     poor         poor
Randy      mediocre     abysmal      bad          poor
Hunter     poor         poor         poor         bad
Harry      poor         mediocre     poor         mediocre
Prudence   poor         abysmal      poor         poor
Scrub randy
You seize Randy, delouse his scalp with carbolic acid, and scrub him all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
You ring bell
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Hans Culter's morale, which is now satisfactory.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Peyton Cropes's vigour, which is now adequate.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Randy Potts's morale, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hunter Blair's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Harry Quisling's vigour, which is now adequate.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Prudence Socket's morale, which is now poor.

Peyton Cropes has broken a hole through the roof and escaped! Since virtue is rewarded and vice leads to ruin, you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that she has become a surrogate mother.

You receive a government stipend of 50 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 15 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Hunter Blair has improved his morale.

The Orphanorium has been entrusted with five more children: Courtney Bludge is old enough for the Middle House, while Jim Tench, Cob Froome, Cheyenne Burrow and Bub Grady will go to the Junior.
You buy dogs
You reluctantly part with 400 coins, mail in your order, and in due course receive delivery of Ruritanian Mastiffs.

A new task: Top Ranking
In any well-regulated society, there must be a recognised order. Even among the savage peoples and urban poor, some shade of hierarchy will always arise from the machinations of violence and vanity. And so it is among orphans, though their society is little more advanced than a troupe of feral macaques. A good orphanmaster must always know whose star is in the ascendant, and how they may best be managed.
Until recently, Bub Grady was the seldom-disputed king of the dormitories. But your informants aver that a coup is in the offing. This would usually be grounds for interest but not alarm, but today the challenger is the Quisling child. If he is damaged somehow, your mysterious sponsor might not be best pleased. And you don't like the child; having him at the top of the pecking order seems a hazardous prospect.
1 - Ensure Bub Grady loses.
2 - Sabotage Harry's campaign.
1
It would be easiest to thrash Bub until he was no contest, but that might be too obvious. But there are more subtle ways of sapping a child's will: a less-generous ladle of gruel and a closer watch against dinner-table banditry, extra midnight chamberpot duty, work schedules that make co-ordination with allies onerous and frustrating.

You do not observe the fight directly, of course, but the signs are clear. Bub is sulky and friendless, while Harry is deferred to by all. The mantle has passed.
Status
Jim        abysmal      poor         poor         mediocre
Courtney   poor         poor         bad          mediocre
Randy      mediocre     abysmal      poor         adequate
Cheyenne   bad          poor         mediocre     poor
Hunter     poor         poor         poor         poor
Harry      mediocre     adequate     poor         mediocre
Bub        bad          abysmal      poor         awful
Prudence   poor         abysmal      poor         poor
Cob        bad          awful        poor         poor
You describe your surroundings
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Bub, Cheyenne, Cob, Jim, Randy, Prudence and Hans are housed here.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
You scrub Bub
You seize Bub, pinch his cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and apply a rough brush to those parts of his person that he has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Discipline jim
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Jim Tench. His discipline is now bad.
Discipline cob
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Cob Froome. His discipline is now poor.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Courtney is housed here.

Harry and Hunter are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You examine the Mastiffs
The Ruritanian Mastiff breed is characterised by a face like a tumour and the heart of an abused wolverine. Ruritanian Mastiffs get disqualified from dog shows for failing to savage a judge.
When a Ruritanian Mastiff gets rabies, nobody notices. Rurie
owners would nonetheless say that they are highly intelligent, loyal and loving -- at least, those Rurie owners with a voicebox yet-untorn by slavering fangs.

Mastiffs significantly reduce the risk of orphans escaping. The condition of failed escape-artists is not guaranteed.
Status
Jim        bad          bad          bad          poor
Courtney   poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Randy      adequate     abysmal      poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Hunter     bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Harry      mediocre     satisfactory poor         mediocre
Bub        bad          abysmal      poor         bad
Prudence   bad          abysmal      bad          poor
Cob        bad          abysmal      bad          poor
You hug harry
Excessive affection stunts a child's development, and exposes adults to all manner of contagion. Maintain a distance; they will respect you for it.
Hug mastiff
Keep your mind on the game.
Examine hunter
Hunter Blair, son of a stinking debased footpad and a suicidal poetess.
His discipline is poor, his vigour poor, his appearance poor and his morale bad.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hunter Blair's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Harry Quisling's vigour, which is now satisfactory.

Harry Quisling attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 100 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 30 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Jim Tench has gained vigour, and Courtney Bludge and Harry Quisling have improved their morale.

Hans Culter has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.

A new orphan, Gavin Nash, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
Status
Jim        bad          bad          poor         poor
Courtney   poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Randy      mediocre     abysmal      poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Hunter     bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Harry      poor         good         poor         adequate
Bub        bad          abysmal      poor         bad
Prudence   poor         abysmal      bad          poor
Gavin      abysmal      poor         bad          mediocre
Cob        poor         awful        poor         poor

A new task: Vicarious
Every Sunday morning, the orphans file down into the chapel, where a visiting minister delivers a sermon. The chapel is cramped and funny-smelling, and the orphans mostly use the time to snicker, skirmish and sleep; it is not a popular duty, and you suspect that the diocese sends you their dregs.
You do have a certain amount of leeway in which ones come the most often, however.
1 - Cropstoke. He mumbles and forgets things, but he's thoroughly safe.
2 - Fisk. Not too bright, but he's got a good voice and makes snoozers do push-ups.
3 - Hotchlock. Good delivery, but suspected of radicalism.
4 - Coombe. The orphans will sit in quiet contemplation, or else.
2
Fisk is a balding, roundish, red-faced fellow with a funny accent and a temper. They snicker and lampoon; he hands out punishments, but this makes him look even more like a fool, the situation escalates, and it is even money whether he will reach the homily without undergoing something like a meltdown. It is not clear whether the punishments balance out the mockery; but nobody sleeps through it, and a great many push-ups are done.
Status
Jim        bad          poor         bad          poor
Courtney   poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Randy      adequate     bad          poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Hunter     poor         adequate     poor         poor
Harry      mediocre     excessive    poor         adequate
Bub        bad          awful        poor         awful
Prudence   poor         bad          bad          poor
Gavin      awful        mediocre     bad          poor
Cob        poor         bad          poor         poor
Look around
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Hans and Courtney are housed here.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Harry and Hunter are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Unassign Harry
You allow Harry Quisling to take a break.
You assign Hans to the tricycles
You command Hans Culter to occupy himself with the ancient tricycles. He obediently complies.
You assign Courtney to tricycles
You command Courtney Bludge to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Gavin, Bub, Cheyenne, Cob, Jim, Randy and Prudence are housed here.
Status
Jim        bad          poor         bad          poor
Courtney   poor         mediocre     bad          mediocre
Randy      mediocre     bad          poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Hunter     poor         adequate     poor         poor
Harry      poor         excessive    poor         adequate
Bub        bad          awful        poor         awful
Prudence   bad          bad          bad          poor
Gavin      abysmal      mediocre     awful        poor
Cob        poor         poor         poor         poor
You scrub Gavin
You seize Gavin, delouse his scalp with equal parts pomatum and mercurial ointment (just in case), and make him walk around with a book on his head. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Discipline gavin
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Gavin Nash. His discipline is now bad.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hans Culter's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Courtney Bludge's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hunter Blair's vigour, which is now adequate.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Prudence Socket's morale, which is now poor.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Gavin Nash's morale, which is now poor.

Courtney Bludge has convinced you that she is entitled to diplomatic immunity and escaped! Without a steady moral compass nobody can prosper, and you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that she is shamefully employed as a mudlark.
Harry Quisling has constructed a small glider out of bedsheets and crutches and escaped! Since virtue is rewarded and vice leads to ruin, you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that he is shamefully employed as a prize-fighter.

You receive a government stipend of 90 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 27 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Jim Tench has gained vigour, and Bub Grady has improved his morale.

Randy Potts has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Hunter Blair is ready for the Senior.

A new orphan, Bart Button, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
Status
Jim        awful        mediocre     poor         poor
Randy      mediocre     bad          poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Hunter     poor         adequate     poor         poor
Bart       mediocre     bad          bad          poor
Bub        bad          awful        poor         bad
Prudence   poor         awful        poor         mediocre
Gavin      bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Cob        poor         bad          poor         poor

A new task: The Cholera Caper
An unidentified child stuffed a blanket down the privies, and now the entire facility is ankle-deep in backed-up sewage. Assign orphans to sewage cleanup before you all die of cholera.
You assign Cob to the sewage
You command Cob Froome to occupy himself with raw sewage. He obediently complies.
You assign all
What do you want to assign those things to?
You assign all to the sewage
You assign Jim, Cheyenne, Bart, Bub, Prudence, Gavin and Cob to raw sewage.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Randy is housed here.

Hans is busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You assign all to sewage
You assign Hans and Randy to raw sewage.
You go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Hunter is housed here.
You assign Hunter to the sewage
You command Hunter Blair to occupy himself with raw sewage. He obediently complies.
Status
Jim        awful        poor         bad          poor
Randy      mediocre     bad          poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   bad          poor         poor         mediocre
Hunter     poor         adequate     poor         bad
Bart       poor         bad          bad          poor
Bub        bad          abysmal      poor         bad
Prudence   bad          bad          bad          mediocre
Gavin      awful        mediocre     poor         poor
Cob        bad          bad          bad          poor
You go to the south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage, in which Randy and Hans frolic with bleach, bucket and mop.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage, in which Bart, Gavin, Bub, Cheyenne, Cob, Jim and Prudence frolic with bleach, bucket and mop.
Discipline jim and Gavin
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Jim Tench. His discipline is now poor.

You apply some well-deserved discipline to Gavin Nash. His discipline is now poor.
You ring bell
The raw sewage has weakened Randy Potts's morale, which is now poor. The raw sewage has weakened Cob Froome's morale, which is now poor. Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Cob Froome's morale, which is now poor.

Hans Culter has died of cholera. The coroner suggests that the death might have been prevented through better living conditions, which apparently involve less contact with raw sewage.
The sewage has been cleaned from the Junior House. Until the Orphanorium is entirely clean, however, cholera will imperil everyone.

Hunter Blair attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 90 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 27 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Jim Tench has gained vigour, and Jim Tench, Bart Button and Gavin Nash have improved their morale.

Prudence Socket has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Randy Potts is ready for the Senior.

The Orphanorium has been entrusted with four more children: Dorinda Twite is old enough for the Middle House, while Gretchen Bloch, Mildred Chollop and Agatha Dorrit will go to the Junior.
You look at your surroundings
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

Agatha, Mildred, Gretchen, Bart, Gavin, Bub, Cheyenne, Cob and Jim are housed here.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Dorinda and Prudence are housed here.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.
You assign all to the sewage
You assign Prudence and Dorinda to raw sewage.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Randy is housed here.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage, in which Hunter frolics with bleach, bucket and mop.
You assign all to the sewage
You assign Randy and Hunter to raw sewage.
Status
Gretchen   abysmal      mediocre     poor         poor
Randy      mediocre     bad          poor         mediocre
Cheyenne   poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Hunter     bad          adequate     poor         bad
Bart       poor         awful        bad          poor
Agatha     bad          bad          poor         poor
Bub        bad          awful        poor         bad
Prudence   poor         bad          bad          poor
Gavin      poor         mediocre     poor         mediocre
Mildred    abysmal      awful        poor         mediocre
Dorinda    bad          bad          bad          mediocre
Cob        bad          poor         bad          mediocre
You go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage, in which Dorinda and Prudence frolic with bleach, bucket and mop.
You scrub dorinda
You seize Dorinda, delouse her scalp with carbolic acid, and make her dedicate a few hours to shining her shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You go to the south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Agatha, Mildred, Gretchen, Bart, Gavin, Bub, Cheyenne, Cob and Jim are housed here.
Discipline mildred
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Mildred Chollop. Her discipline is now bad.
Discipline gretchen
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Gretchen Bloch. Her discipline is now abysmal.
Discipline bub
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Bub Grady. His discipline is now bad.
Discipline agatha
Enough for today: there are regulations about excessive corporal punishment. Besides, if you thrash every child continually, they'll grow leathery and insensate.
You ring bell
The raw sewage has weakened Hunter Blair's morale, which is now awful. Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Bart Button's morale, which is now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 130 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 39 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Mildred Chollop and Cob Froome have gained vigour, and Bart Button and Cob Froome have improved their morale.

A generous patron, impressed by Randy Potts's work ethic, has offered him employment as a swineherd. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 35 coins.

Gavin Nash has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.

A new orphan, Ray Cotter, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
You look at the catalogue
A respected specialist catering to the orphan management trade, Fobberfish of Hackney provides a wide variety of goods at virtually affordable rates. Bowing to the decadence of the age, this once-respectable publication now features many vain luxuries that you can safely ignore, such as fair-trade gruel, artisanal wildflower soap, and smallpox vaccines. The few items of real utility have been circled in red pen:

The Box (300 coins)
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill (400 coins)
My First Delousing Bath (350 coins)
Spinal Corrective Corsets (450 coins)
Dr. Pranger's Lithium Water (700 coins)
triple-barred windows (350 coins)
The Harvest of Sin (700 coins)
You read about Sin
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
Much-beloved Christian artist Stowey Downard's previous works include Chartists: Vanguard of Lucifer, Whorish Shame and
the fifty-panel series Christ's Vengeance. Now he has been
inspired to create his most morally instructive work yet, The
Harvest of Sin, a series of 35 anatomical diagrams depicting the shocking consequences of pre-marital flirting. Highly scientific lithographs illuminate the diseased body's foulness in unflinching detail, and may be depended upon to foster a healthsome disgust of the sexual acts. Do not, in moral timorousness, shrink from letting your child know where sin must lead: order The Harvest of Sin
today.
You read about Bath
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
My First Delousing Bath introduces the young child to the painful, demeaning concept of personal hygiene. With regular use, it is guaranteed to remove all but the most deeply-embedded skin parasites.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         poor         poor
Gretchen   abysmal      mediocre     bad          poor
Cheyenne   poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Hunter     poor         adequate     poor         bad
Bart       poor         bad          bad          mediocre
Agatha     poor         bad          poor         poor
Bub        poor         abysmal      poor         awful
Prudence   bad          awful        bad          mediocre
Gavin      poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Mildred    bad          abysmal      bad          poor
Dorinda    awful        poor         mediocre     mediocre
Cob        poor         poor         poor         mediocre
You buy Box
You reluctantly part with 300 coins, mail in your order, and in due course receive delivery of The Box.
You look at your surroundings
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Ray, Agatha, Mildred, Gretchen, Bart, Bub, Cheyenne, Cob and Jim are housed here.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
You look at Box
The beauty of The Box is that it is quite, quite self-explanatory.
You assign Gretchen to Box
With steel in your voice, you condemn Gretchen Bloch to The Box until further notice. She folds herself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
You assign Ray to Box
Stern but fair, you condemn Ray Cotter to The Box until further notice. He folds himself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Gavin is housed here.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage, in which Dorinda and Prudence frolic with bleach, bucket and mop.
You assign Gavin to the sewage
You command Gavin Nash to occupy himself with raw sewage. He obediently complies.
You go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage, in which Hunter frolics with bleach, bucket and mop.
Junior
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Ray and Gretchen are spending some time in The Box.

Agatha, Mildred, Bart, Bub, Cheyenne, Cob and Jim are housed here.
Status
Jim        poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Gretchen   abysmal      mediocre     bad          poor
Cheyenne   bad          poor         poor         poor
Hunter     poor         adequate     mediocre     bad
Bart       mediocre     awful        bad          adequate
Agatha     bad          bad          poor         poor
Bub        poor         awful        poor         awful
Prudence   poor         awful        poor         poor
Gavin      poor         poor         poor         poor
Mildred    bad          abysmal      bad          poor
Dorinda    awful        bad          mediocre     mediocre
Cob        poor         bad          bad          mediocre
Scrub cob
You seize Cob, delouse his scalp with equal parts pomatum and mercurial ointment (just in case), and apply a rough brush to those parts of his person that he has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Discipline mildred
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Mildred Chollop. Her discipline is now bad.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         bad          poor
Gretchen   abysmal      mediocre     poor         poor
Cheyenne   bad          poor         mediocre     mediocre
Hunter     poor         adequate     poor         bad
Bart       poor         awful        poor         adequate
Agatha     bad          bad          poor         poor
Bub        bad          abysmal      poor         bad
Prudence   poor         awful        bad          poor
Gavin      poor         poor         poor         poor
Mildred    bad          abysmal      poor         poor
Dorinda    bad          bad          poor         mediocre
Cob        poor         bad          poor         mediocre
You ring bell
The Box has weakened Ray Cotter's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Ray Cotter's discipline, which is now awful.
The Box has weakened Gretchen Bloch's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Gretchen Bloch's discipline, which is now abysmal.
The raw sewage has weakened Hunter Blair's morale, which is now abysmal.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Agatha Dorrit's morale, which is now mediocre.
The raw sewage has weakened Prudence Socket's morale, which is now poor.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Cob Froome's morale, which is now adequate.

Cholera has claimed Cheyenne Burrow. You admonish the children sternly against drinking sewage, but they are insensible to reason.
The Middle House is no longer awash in sewage.

Hunter Blair has disguised himself as a visiting nun and escaped! Out in the harsh world children are exposed to all manner of sinful influences, so you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that he has sunk to working as a mugger.

You receive a government stipend of 110 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 33 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Ray Cotter, Bub Grady, Mildred Chollop and Cob Froome have gained vigour, and Ray Cotter and Agatha Dorrit have improved their morale.

Ray Cotter has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.

A new orphan, Eliza Grundy, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Middle House.
Look around
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Agatha, Mildred, Bart, Bub, Cob and Jim are housed here.

Gretchen is spending some time in The Box.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         bad          poor
Gretchen   awful        poor         bad          poor
Bart       poor         bad          poor         adequate
Agatha     poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Eliza      poor         mediocre     bad          poor
Bub        poor         abysmal      poor         awful
Prudence   bad          awful        bad          poor
Gavin      poor         poor         poor         poor
Mildred    poor         bad          poor         poor
Dorinda    bad          poor         poor         poor
Cob        poor         poor         poor         adequate
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Eliza, Ray, Gavin, Dorinda and Prudence are housed here.

(The Cholera Caper has been going on for quite a while. If you'd
like a refresher on how to complete this task, try RECAP. There is still uncleaned sewage in the Senior House.)
Scrub eliza
You seize Eliza, drag a comb through her hair, and scrub her all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You assign all to the tricycles
You assign Ray, Eliza, Prudence, Gavin and Dorinda to the ancient tricycles.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Eliza, Ray, Gavin, Dorinda and Prudence are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You assign Prudence and Dorinda to Box
In icy tones, you condemn Prudence and Dorinda to The Box until further notice. They crawl into their various compartments, and you bolt them in.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Ray Cotter's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The Box has weakened Gretchen Bloch's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has sapped Gretchen Bloch's vigour, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Gretchen Bloch's discipline, which is now bad. The ancient tricycles have fortified Eliza Grundy's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The Box has weakened Prudence Socket's morale, which is now bad.
The Box has stiffened Prudence Socket's discipline, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Gavin Nash's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The Box has weakened Dorinda Twite's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has sapped Dorinda Twite's vigour, which is now abysmal.
The Box has stiffened Dorinda Twite's discipline, which is now poor.

Eliza Grundy has squeezed through the window-bars and escaped! Given her ingratitude and weak character, you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that she has become a surrogate mother.
Gavin Nash has hidden in the garbage and escaped! Since virtue is rewarded and vice leads to ruin, you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that he has become a pirate.

You receive a government stipend of 100 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 30 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Bart Button, Prudence Socket and Dorinda Twite have gained vigour, and Agatha Dorrit and Mildred Chollop have improved their morale.

Bart Button has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Dorinda Twite is ready for the Senior.
Senior
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The room is ankle-deep in raw sewage.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Dorinda is housed here.
You assign all to the sewage
You command Dorinda Twite to occupy herself with raw sewage. She obediently complies.
Go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Bart is housed here.

Ray is busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Prudence is spending some time in The Box.
You assign all to the tricycles
You assign Ray, Bart and Prudence to the ancient tricycles.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         poor         poor
Gretchen   bad          poor         poor         poor
Bart       poor         bad          poor         mediocre
Agatha     bad          bad          bad          adequate
Bub        poor         abysmal      poor         awful
Prudence   poor         poor         bad          poor
Mildred    bad          awful        poor         poor
Dorinda    poor         bad          mediocre     poor
Cob        bad          poor         poor         adequate
You scrub Prudence
You seize Prudence, spit-wash her grimy little face with your second-best handkerchief, and apply a rough brush to those parts of her person that she has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Agatha, Mildred, Bub, Cob and Jim are housed here.

Gretchen is spending some time in The Box.
Unassign Gretchen
You allow Gretchen Bloch to take a break.
You assign Bub and Cob to Box
With steel in your voice, you condemn Bub and Cob to The Box until further notice. They crawl into their various compartments, and you bolt them in.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Ray Cotter's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Bart Button's vigour, which is now poor.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Agatha Dorrit's morale, which is now adequate.
The Box has weakened Bub Grady's morale, which is now awful.
The Box has stiffened Bub Grady's discipline, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Prudence Socket's vigour, which is now mediocre.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Mildred Chollop's morale, which is now poor.
The raw sewage has weakened Dorinda Twite's morale, which is now poor. The Box has weakened Cob Froome's morale, which is now mediocre.
The Box has sapped Cob Froome's vigour, which is now bad.
The Box has stiffened Cob Froome's discipline, which is now poor.

The last of the sewage has been mopped, bailed and bleached out of existence. Your orphans look a little green, but the worst is behind you.

Ray Cotter attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 100 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 30 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Bart Button and Prudence Socket have improved their morale.

Cob Froome has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.

A new orphan, Frannie Harris, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
You unassign all
You allow Bub to take a break.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         bad          poor
Gretchen   bad          bad          bad          poor
Bart       mediocre     poor         bad          adequate
Agatha     bad          poor         poor         mediocre
Bub        mediocre     bad          poor         abysmal
Frannie    bad          bad          poor         poor
Prudence   poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Mildred    bad          bad          bad          poor
Dorinda    bad          bad          mediocre     bad
Cob        poor         bad          poor         mediocre
You look around
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

Frannie, Agatha, Mildred, Gretchen, Bub and Jim are housed here.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.
Scrub mildred
You seize Mildred, pinch her cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and make her dedicate a few hours to shining her shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now mediocre.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Cob is housed here.

Bart, Ray and Prudence are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You assign Ray to Box
With steel in your voice, you condemn Ray Cotter to The Box until further notice. He folds himself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Frannie, Agatha, Mildred, Gretchen, Bub and Jim are housed here.
You assign mildred to Box
Knowing that it will do her good, you condemn Mildred Chollop to The Box until further notice. She folds herself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
Discipline gretchen
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Gretchen Bloch. Her discipline is now bad.
You go south
What you do outside work hours and the Orphanorium is not the concern of this story. (The Middle House is to the north.)
Discipline frannie
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Frannie Harris. Her discipline is now bad.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Cob is housed here.

Bart and Prudence are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Ray is spending some time in The Box.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Dorinda is housed here.
You discipline dorinda
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Dorinda Twite. Her discipline is now mediocre.
You ring bell
The Box has weakened Ray Cotter's morale, which is now abysmal.
The Box has sapped Ray Cotter's vigour, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Ray Cotter's discipline, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Bart Button's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Prudence Socket's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The Box has weakened Mildred Chollop's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Mildred Chollop's discipline, which is now bad.

You receive a government stipend of 110 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 33 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Bart Button has gained vigour, and Ray Cotter, Gretchen Bloch, Frannie Harris and Prudence Socket have improved their morale.

Gretchen Bloch and Frannie Harris have grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.
Go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Frannie, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.

Bart and Prudence are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Ray is spending some time in The Box.

A new task: Friends Like These

Agatha Dorrit, one of the worst children in the institution, seems to be spending a lot of time with Prudence Socket of late. You are troubled by this development; the adage "one bad apple spoils the barrel" is hard to live by when curating a compost pile, but Agatha is liable to ruin the least awful of your wards.
1 - Punish them both.
2 - Punish only Agatha.
3 - Punish only Prudence.
4 - Let it be. They'll drift apart soon enough.
1
Agatha endures the punishment with her characteristic insensitivity to good influences, but Prudence seems devastated by the incident. She avoids Agatha thereafter, but she gives off an air of raw hostility whenever you're near her.
Consult
What do you want to consult?
You read the catalogue
A respected specialist catering to the orphan management trade, Fobberfish of Hackney provides a wide variety of goods at virtually affordable rates. Bowing to the decadence of the age, this once-respectable publication now features many vain luxuries that you can safely ignore, such as fair-trade gruel, artisanal wildflower soap, and smallpox vaccines. The few items of real utility have been circled in red pen:

Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill (400 coins)
My First Delousing Bath (350 coins)
Spinal Corrective Corsets (450 coins)
Dr. Pranger's Lithium Water (700 coins)
triple-barred windows (350 coins)
The Harvest of Sin (700 coins)
Status
Jim        poor         poor         bad          poor
Gretchen   poor         bad          bad          bad
Bart       mediocre     mediocre     bad          mediocre
Agatha     bad          bad          poor         mediocre
Bub        poor         abysmal      poor         bad
Frannie    poor         bad          poor         poor
Prudence   poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Mildred    poor         abysmal      mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     bad          poor         poor
Cob        poor         bad          poor         mediocre
Unassign Ray
You allow Ray Cotter to take a break.
You look at your surroundings
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Frannie, Gretchen, Cob and Ray are housed here.

Bart and Prudence are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Agatha, Bub and Jim are housed here.

Mildred is spending some time in The Box.
Unassign mildred
You allow Mildred Chollop to take a break.
You assign Agatha to Box
To show that discipline must be upheld, you condemn Agatha Dorrit to The Box until further notice. She folds herself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
You scrub Gretchen
You seize Gretchen, delouse her scalp with equal parts pomatum and mercurial ointment (just in case), and scrub her all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now mediocre.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Bart Button's vigour, which is now adequate.
The Box has weakened Agatha Dorrit's morale, which is now mediocre. The Box has sapped Agatha Dorrit's vigour, which is now awful.
The Box has stiffened Agatha Dorrit's discipline, which is now poor. The ancient tricycles have fortified Prudence Socket's vigour, which is now mediocre.

Bub Grady has died of Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles. (Low morale
is the main cause of orphan mortality.) You pay 5 coins for a
cheap burial.

Prudence Socket has forced a lock and escaped! Water finds its level, so you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that she has sunk to working as a surrogate mother.

You receive a government stipend of 90 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 27 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Cob Froome has gained vigour, and Frannie Harris has improved her morale.

Jim Tench and Agatha Dorrit have been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Cob Froome is ready for the Senior.

You have been awarded custody of two orphans of Junior House age: Maud Barnacle and Becky Criggledip.
You recruit Bart
Bart Button is judged adequate to the demands of the position, and the shady aide spirits him off to the corridors of power. The money -- a mere twenty coins -- is not as good as you had hoped, but at least you can chalk this one up in the success column when the Periodic Review rolls around.
Look around
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

Agatha, Jim, Frannie, Gretchen and Ray are housed here.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.
You scrub Agatha
You seize Agatha, drag a comb through her hair, and scrub her all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now mediocre.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Becky, Maud and Mildred are housed here.
You buy Bath
You reluctantly part with 350 coins, mail in your order, and in due course receive delivery of My First Delousing Bath; it is installed in the Junior House.
You assign Becky to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Becky Criggledip into the Delousing Bath, and command her to remain there until she she has learned a lesson about hygiene.
You assign mildred to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Mildred Chollop into the Delousing Bath, and command her to remain there until she she has learned a lesson about hygiene.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         bad          poor
Gretchen   poor         bad          mediocre     bad
Maud       awful        bad          bad          mediocre
Agatha     poor         abysmal      poor         mediocre
Frannie    poor         bad          poor         poor
Becky      bad          poor         poor         poor
Mildred    poor         abysmal      mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     bad          mediocre     bad
Cob        poor         poor         poor         poor
Discipline maud
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Maud Barnacle. Her discipline is now poor.
Discipline becky
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Becky Criggledip. Her discipline is now poor.
You ring bell
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Maud Barnacle's looks, which are now mediocre.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Maud Barnacle's morale, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Mildred Chollop's looks, which are now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 100 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 30 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Maud Barnacle and Cob Froome have improved their morale.

Mildred Chollop has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Ray Cotter is ready for the Senior.
Status
Jim        poor         mediocre     bad          poor
Gretchen   poor         bad          poor         poor
Maud       poor         abysmal      mediocre     mediocre
Agatha     poor         abysmal      poor         mediocre
Frannie    poor         awful        poor         mediocre
Becky      bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Mildred    bad          bad          mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     bad          mediocre     poor
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre

A new task: The Porter Babies
Fashionable nutritionist Laurice Shellac is testing a new theory: since it is acknowledged that the admixture of porter and stout is a sovereign tonic to the nerves of nursing mothers, it stands to reason that a half-pint of dark beer, imbibed at elevenses, will strengthen the nerves and consitution of children also. If your institution will take part in his national study, he'll supply the beers. Science can be unpredictable, however.
Does Laurice have your support?
Discipline becky
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Becky Criggledip. Her discipline is now mediocre.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Mildred, Agatha, Jim, Frannie and Gretchen are housed here.

Some ancient tricycles are littered about the place.
Discipline mildred
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Mildred Chollop. Her discipline is now poor.
You assign Frannie to the tricycles
You command Frannie Harris to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You assign Agatha to tricycles
You command Agatha Dorrit to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You assign mildred to the tricycles
You command Mildred Chollop to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         bad          poor
Gretchen   poor         bad          poor         poor
Maud       poor         awful        mediocre     mediocre
Agatha     poor         abysmal      mediocre     mediocre
Frannie    poor         awful        poor         mediocre
Becky      mediocre     poor         poor         poor
Mildred    poor         abysmal      mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     bad          mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
Discipline agatha
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Agatha Dorrit. Her discipline is now mediocre.
Discipline gretchen
Enough for today: there are regulations about excessive corporal punishment. Besides, if you thrash every child continually, they'll grow leathery and insensate.
You scrub Jim
You seize Jim, delouse his scalp with equal parts pomatum and mercurial ointment (just in case), and apply a rough brush to those parts of his person that he has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Ray, Cob and Dorinda are housed here.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Agatha Dorrit's vigour, which is now bad.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Frannie Harris's vigour, which is now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Becky Criggledip's looks, which are now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now abysmal.

Ray Cotter has conspired with an outside associate and escaped! Since virtue is rewarded and vice leads to ruin, you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that he is shamefully employed as a garotter.

You receive a government stipend of 90 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 27 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Jim Tench, Maud Barnacle, Agatha Dorrit, Dorinda Twite and Cob Froome have gained vigour, and Mildred Chollop has improved her morale.

Agatha Dorrit has graduated to the Senior House. Orphans in the Senior House, if they have been trained well enough, may find employment and leave your care.

You have been awarded custody of three orphans of Junior House age: Molly Bogey, Tawny Scraggley and Edie Dillinger.
Go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Mildred and Frannie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Jim and Gretchen are housed here.
You assign Jim to the beer
Shellac's Porter Supplements is a passive improvement device:
idle orphans in the relevant ward may be improved by it, or not, and there is nothing that God or man may do to affect the outcome. You can only assign orphans to active improvement devices.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Edie, Tawny and Molly are housed here.

Becky and Maud are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
You assign all to Bath
You assign Edie, Maud, Tawny, Molly and Becky to My First Delousing Bath.
Status
Jim        poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Gretchen   bad          poor         mediocre     poor
Maud       poor         bad          mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      bad          mediocre     awful        poor
Agatha     poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Molly      poor         poor         poor         poor
Frannie    poor         bad          poor         poor
Becky      poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Mildred    poor         abysmal      mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Discipline edie
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Edie Dillinger. Her discipline is now poor.
You discipline tawny
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Tawny Scraggley. Her discipline is now bad.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Mildred and Frannie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Jim and Gretchen are housed here.
Discipline gretchen
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Gretchen Bloch. Her discipline is now poor.
Smell the beer
It is your constant practice to avoid ever inhaling too deeply around orphans.
You assign Gretchen to the tricycles
You command Gretchen Bloch to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Agatha, Cob and Dorinda are housed here.
You assign Agatha to Box
With a fearsome glare, you condemn Agatha Dorrit to The Box until further notice. She folds herself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Gretchen Bloch's vigour, which is now bad.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Tawny Scraggley's looks, which are now poor.
The Box has weakened Agatha Dorrit's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Agatha Dorrit's discipline, which is now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has fortified Agatha Dorrit's vigour, which is now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Molly Bogey's looks, which are now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Frannie Harris's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now bad.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has fortified Dorinda Twite's vigour, which is now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has eroded Dorinda Twite's discipline, which is now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has fortified Cob Froome's vigour, which is now poor.

You receive a government stipend of 120 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 36 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Becky Criggledip has gained vigour, and Jim Tench, Maud Barnacle, Molly Bogey and Becky Criggledip have improved their morale.

Maud Barnacle has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.
Status
Jim        poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Gretchen   poor         poor         poor         bad
Maud       poor         awful        mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      poor         poor         bad          poor
Agatha     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Molly      poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Frannie    bad          poor         poor         mediocre
Becky      mediocre     poor         poor         poor
Mildred    poor         bad          mediocre     poor
Dorinda    poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Cob        poor         mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
You assign Cob to Box
Stern but fair, you condemn Cob Froome to The Box until further notice. He folds himself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
You look around
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Agatha and Cob are spending some time in The Box.

Dorinda is housed here.
Unassign Agatha
You allow Agatha Dorrit to take a break.
You go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Maud and Jim are housed here.

Mildred, Frannie and Gretchen are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You assign Maud to the tricycles
You command Maud Barnacle to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You scrub Frannie
You seize Frannie, pinch her cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and make her walk around with a book on her head. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now mediocre.
Discipline frannie
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Frannie Harris. Her discipline is now poor.
You go to the south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Edie, Tawny, Molly and Becky are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
Discipline edie
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Edie Dillinger. Her discipline is now mediocre.
You discipline tawny
Enough for today: there are regulations about excessive corporal punishment. Besides, if you thrash every child continually, they'll grow leathery and insensate.
You ring bell
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Edie Dillinger's morale, which is now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has sapped Edie Dillinger's vigour, which is now bad.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Gretchen Bloch's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Maud Barnacle's vigour, which is now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Tawny Scraggley's morale, which is now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has sapped Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Molly Bogey's looks, which are now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Molly Bogey's morale, which is now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has sapped Molly Bogey's vigour, which is now bad.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Frannie Harris's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Becky Criggledip's looks, which are now adequate.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Becky Criggledip's morale, which is now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has sapped Becky Criggledip's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now poor.
The Box has weakened Cob Froome's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has sapped Cob Froome's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The Box has stiffened Cob Froome's discipline, which is now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 120 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 36 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.

Becky Criggledip has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Gretchen Bloch is ready for the Senior.

You have been awarded custody of two orphans of Junior House age: Percy Dabney and Hubert Dobson.
You buy the bars
You reluctantly part with 350 coins, mail in your order, and in due course receive delivery of triple-barred windows.
Look around
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Hubert and Percy are housed here.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Edie, Tawny and Molly are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
Status
Jim        poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
Maud       poor         poor         mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      bad          poor         poor         mediocre
Hubert     bad          bad          poor         mediocre
Agatha     mediocre     poor         poor         poor
Molly      bad          poor         mediocre     adequate
Frannie    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Becky      poor         poor         adequate     poor
Percy      poor         mediocre     bad          poor
Mildred    poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         poor         awful
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
You assign all to Bath
You assign Edie, Tawny, Hubert, Molly and Percy to My First Delousing Bath.
You discipline tawny
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Tawny Scraggley. Her discipline is now poor.
Discipline hubert
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Hubert Dobson. His discipline is now poor.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Becky and Jim are housed here.

Maud, Mildred and Frannie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Unassign Frannie
You allow Frannie Harris to take a break.
You go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Gretchen, Agatha and Dorinda are housed here.

Cob is spending some time in The Box.
You scrub dorinda
You seize Dorinda, delouse her scalp with carbolic acid, and tell her that she will be spending her break re-ironing her crumpled clothes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now mediocre.
Status
Jim        poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Gretchen   poor         poor         mediocre     bad
Maud       poor         poor         mediocre     adequate
Tawny      mediocre     bad          poor         poor
Hubert     poor         bad          poor         poor
Agatha     poor         poor         poor         poor
Molly      bad          poor         mediocre     mediocre
Frannie    poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     bad          adequate     mediocre
Percy      bad          mediocre     bad          poor
Mildred    poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         mediocre     awful
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         poor
Unassign Cob
You allow Cob Froome to take a break.
Discipline agatha
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Agatha Dorrit. Her discipline is now mediocre.
You go to the south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Becky, Jim and Frannie are housed here.

Maud and Mildred are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The aroma of dark beer saturates the building.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Hubert, Percy, Edie, Tawny and Molly are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
You ring bell
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Edie Dillinger's looks, which are now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Edie Dillinger's morale, which is now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has stiffened Edie Dillinger's discipline, which is now satisfactory.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Maud Barnacle's vigour, which is now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Tawny Scraggley's looks, which are now poor.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Tawny Scraggley's morale, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Hubert Dobson's looks, which are now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Hubert Dobson's morale, which is now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Molly Bogey's looks, which are now adequate.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Molly Bogey's morale, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Percy Dabney's looks, which are now bad.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has improved Percy Dabney's morale, which is now mediocre.
Shellac's Porter Supplements has stiffened Percy Dabney's discipline, which is now mediocre.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Percy Dabney's morale, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 140 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 42 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Mildred Chollop has gained vigour.

Edie Dillinger has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Jim Tench is ready for the Senior.

A new orphan, Griselda Much, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.

Laurice Shellac's grand porter experiment has concluded. He retrieves his porter-casks and a great many measurements, praises your charity, wisdom and personal charms for a period somewhat longer than strictly required, and departs.
You assign Griselda to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Griselda Much into the Delousing Bath, and command her to remain there until she has ceased to smell like a case of gangrene.
Status
Griselda   abysmal      poor         poor         mediocre
Jim        poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Tawny      mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
Hubert     mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Agatha     mediocre     mediocre     poor         bad
Molly      poor         bad          satisfactory adequate
Frannie    poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     poor         adequate
Mildred    poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
You discipline griselda
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Griselda Much. Her discipline is now bad.
Unassign Molly
You allow Molly Bogey to take a break.
You assign Molly to Box
Knowing that it will do her good, you condemn Molly Bogey to The Box until further notice. She folds herself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
Look around
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

Griselda, Hubert, Percy and Tawny are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Molly is spending some time in The Box.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Edie, Becky and Frannie are housed here.

Maud and Mildred are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You assign Edie to tricycles
You command Edie Dillinger to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You assign Becky to the tricycles
You command Becky Criggledip to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
Discipline mildred
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Mildred Chollop. Her discipline is now poor.
Discipline frannie
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Frannie Harris. Her discipline is now poor.
You go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Jim, Gretchen, Agatha, Cob and Dorinda are housed here.
You assign Jim to Box
In icy tones, you condemn Jim Tench to The Box until further notice. He folds himself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Edie Dillinger's vigour, which is now bad.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Griselda Much's looks, which are now poor.
The Box has weakened Jim Tench's morale, which is now bad.
The Box has sapped Jim Tench's vigour, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Jim Tench's discipline, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Maud Barnacle's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Tawny Scraggley's looks, which are now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Hubert Dobson's looks, which are now mediocre.
The Box has weakened Molly Bogey's morale, which is now mediocre.
The Box has stiffened Molly Bogey's discipline, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Becky Criggledip's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now mediocre.

You receive a government stipend of 150 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 45 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Tawny Scraggley and Dorinda Twite have gained vigour, and Jim Tench, Frannie Harris, Becky Criggledip, Dorinda Twite and Cob Froome have improved their morale.

Agatha Dorrit has reached the age of maturity, and there is nothing more you can do. She is lost to gainful industry and to virtue, and promptly becomes a baby-farmer. (Good discipline is the surest path to a respectable job, though employers also favour those with high vigour and looks).

A new orphan, Madison Codscrote, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
Unassign jim
You allow Jim Tench to take a break.

A new task: Tympanic Panic
The popular music-hall ensemble Fariq Nasty and his Timpani Five is due to appear at the local auditorium. According to this leaflet, distributed by the Solemn Order of Platypii Ladies' Moral Auxiliary, Mr. Nasty's lyrics promote street grammar, kissing one's fiancee, regicide, Palestinian independence, bro-hugs, jeepform RPGs, immoderate use of snuff and sacrificing virgin blood to Bel-Marduk. The good Ladies intend to mount a campaign of protest, and as its centrepiece they need a child who has been ruined by Fariq's lascivious kettledrums, or at least appears so. Improving the moral tone of your community should, they imply, be reward enough. (Use RECRUIT on a suitable orphan.)
Status
Griselda   bad          poor         poor         poor
Jim        mediocre     bad          poor         poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         awful
Madison    bad          awful        bad          poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      mediocre     bad          poor         mediocre
Hubert     poor         bad          mediocre     poor
Molly      poor         bad          satisfactory poor
Frannie    poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     poor         adequate     mediocre
Percy      mediocre     poor         bad          adequate
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     bad
Dorinda    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
You recruit Jim
The Ladies' Moral Auxiliary are in a hurry to put their campaign together, and have no time to question your choice. Jim is escorted to Platypus Hall to prepare for his first appearance.
You go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Edie, Becky, Maud and Mildred are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Frannie is housed here.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Madison is housed here.

Griselda, Hubert, Percy and Tawny are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.

Molly is spending some time in The Box.
Status
Griselda   bad          poor         poor         poor
Jim        poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     awful
Madison    bad          bad          awful        mediocre
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Tawny      mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
Hubert     mediocre     bad          adequate     poor
Molly      poor         poor         satisfactory mediocre
Frannie    poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     poor         adequate     mediocre
Percy      poor         mediocre     poor         mediocre
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Dorinda    poor         poor         mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
You discipline madison
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Madison Codscrote. Her discipline is now poor.
You assign Madison to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Madison Codscrote into the Delousing Bath, and command her to remain there until she she has learned a lesson about hygiene.
You discipline griselda
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Griselda Much. Her discipline is now poor.
Status
Griselda   poor         bad          bad          poor
Jim        poor         poor         poor         poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
Madison    poor         awful        bad          poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Tawny      mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
Hubert     poor         bad          adequate     mediocre
Molly      poor         poor         adequate     mediocre
Frannie    mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     poor         adequate
Mildred    poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
You scrub Griselda
You seize Griselda, pinch her cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and apply a rough brush to those parts of her person that she has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You go to the north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Edie, Becky, Maud and Mildred are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Frannie is housed here.
Unassign maud
You allow Maud Barnacle to take a break.
You assign Maud to box
Knowing that it will do her good, you condemn Maud Barnacle to The Box until further notice. She folds herself into one of its compartments, and you lock the door.
Status
Griselda   poor         poor         poor         poor
Jim        poor         bad          mediocre     poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     awful
Madison    poor         awful        bad          poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Tawny      poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Hubert     mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Molly      poor         bad          adequate     poor
Frannie    mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     poor         mediocre
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     bad
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
You assign Frannie to the tricycles
You command Frannie Harris to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Edie Dillinger's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Griselda Much's looks, which are now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Madison Codscrote's looks, which are now poor.
The Box has weakened Maud Barnacle's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has sapped Maud Barnacle's vigour, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Maud Barnacle's discipline, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Tawny Scraggley's looks, which are now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Hubert Dobson's looks, which are now adequate.
The Box has weakened Molly Bogey's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has stiffened Molly Bogey's discipline, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Frannie Harris's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Becky Criggledip's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Percy Dabney's looks, which are now poor.

You receive a government stipend of 150 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 45 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Griselda Much, Frannie Harris, Becky Criggledip and Cob Froome have gained vigour, and Jim Tench has improved his morale.

Tawny Scraggley and Hubert Dobson have grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.
Status
Griselda   poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         bad
Madison    poor         abysmal      poor         poor
Maud       mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Tawny      poor         poor         mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     poor         bad          satisfactory mediocre
Molly      poor         poor         adequate     poor
Frannie    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Percy      poor         mediocre     poor         adequate
Mildred    poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
Dorinda    mediocre     poor         mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
You scrub Edie
You seize Edie, delouse her scalp with carbolic acid, and make her dedicate a few hours to shining her shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Madison, Griselda and Percy are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.

Molly is spending some time in The Box.
Discipline percy
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Percy Dabney. His discipline is now poor.
You discipline griselda
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Griselda Much. Her discipline is now poor.
You discipline madison
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Madison Codscrote. Her discipline is now mediocre.
You read the catalog
A respected specialist catering to the orphan management trade, Fobberfish of Hackney provides a wide variety of goods at virtually affordable rates. Bowing to the decadence of the age, this once-respectable publication now features many vain luxuries that you can safely ignore, such as fair-trade gruel, artisanal wildflower soap, and smallpox vaccines. The few items of real utility have been circled in red pen:

Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill (400 coins)
Spinal Corrective Corsets (450 coins)
Dr. Pranger's Lithium Water (700 coins)
The Harvest of Sin (700 coins)
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Edie Dillinger's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Griselda Much's looks, which are now adequate.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Griselda Much's morale, which is now poor.
The Box has weakened Molly Bogey's morale, which is now bad.
The Box has sapped Molly Bogey's vigour, which is now bad.
The Box has stiffened Molly Bogey's discipline, which is now mediocre. Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Molly Bogey's morale, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Frannie Harris's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Becky Criggledip's vigour, which is now adequate.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Percy Dabney's looks, which are now mediocre.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Percy Dabney's morale, which is now mediocre.

Mildred Chollop attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 150 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 45 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Becky Criggledip has gained vigour, and Jim Tench and Madison Codscrote have improved their morale.

Dorinda Twite has reached the age of maturity, and there is nothing more you can do. She is lost to gainful industry and to virtue, and promptly becomes a bondage model.
Griselda Much and Madison Codscrote have been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Mildred Chollop is ready for the Senior.
Unassign Molly
You allow Molly Bogey to take a break.

Not only does Jim Tench look appropriately pathetic, he demonstrates a remarkable ability to weep on cue, elaborate in chilling detail about the timpani lifestyle from which he was rescued, and go into seizures at the sight of a felt mallet. Fariq Nasty has to flee town under cover of darkness to escape tar-and-feathering, the Timpani Five are barred from respectable auditoria across the country, and the Ladies' Auxiliary return Jim Tench with a small expression of their gratitude.
Status
Griselda   poor         bad          mediocre     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
Gretchen   poor         poor         poor         bad
Madison    mediocre     abysmal      poor         poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Tawny      mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     poor         poor         adequate     poor
Molly      mediocre     abysmal      adequate     poor
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     adequate     adequate     poor
Percy      poor         poor         mediocre     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
You read about the treadmill
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill produces a negligible quantity of electrical power, but (more importantly) its persistent use strengthens the thighs, calves and buttocks of older children, while teaching them the value of a hard day's work.
You read about the Water
(in Fobberfish of Hackney's catalogue):
The world-renowned Dr. Pranger has discovered that pathological and criminal behaviours are rooted in patterns of thought established in childhood. Attempts to improve society will inevitably fail, therefore, without a bold application of behavioural pharmacology from earliest youth, particularly in those classes that produce the overwhelming mass of the criminal and insane. His patented Lithium Formula, added to the drinking-water of your orphanage, juvenile prison, refugee camp or poor-house, is the necessary first step to a brighter future.
You go south
What you do outside work hours and the Orphanorium is not the concern of this story. (The Middle House is to the north.)
You describe your surroundings
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Percy is shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.

Molly is housed here.
You assign Molly to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Molly Bogey into the Delousing Bath, and command her to remain there until she shehas become less foul to behold.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Madison, Griselda, Hubert, Tawny and Maud are housed here.

Edie, Becky and Frannie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You assign Tawny to the tricycles
You command Tawny Scraggley to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         bad
Madison    poor         abysmal      poor         poor
Maud       poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Tawny      mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     poor         bad          adequate     poor
Molly      adequate     awful        adequate     poor
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     poor
Becky      mediocre     adequate     adequate     mediocre
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Mildred    poor         adequate     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     poor         mediocre
You assign Hubert to the tricycles
You command Hubert Dobson to occupy himself with the ancient tricycles. He obediently complies.
Unassign Becky
You allow Becky Criggledip to take a break.
You scrub Edie
You seize Edie, delouse her scalp with equal parts pomatum and mercurial ointment (just in case), and make her dedicate a few hours to shining her shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
Status
Griselda   poor         poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         awful
Madison    mediocre     abysmal      poor         poor
Maud       mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     poor         bad          adequate     poor
Molly      adequate     abysmal      adequate     poor
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     mediocre
Becky      poor         adequate     mediocre     poor
Percy      poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
You discipline griselda
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Griselda Much. Her discipline is now mediocre.
You assign Griselda to the tricycles
You command Griselda Much to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Edie Dillinger's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Griselda Much's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hubert Dobson's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Molly Bogey's looks, which are now good.

Becky Criggledip has broken a hole through the roof and escaped! Out in the harsh world children are exposed to all manner of sinful influences, so you are not surprised when, later, you receive reports that she is shamefully employed as a haughty courtesan.
Mildred Chollop attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 130 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 39 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Edie Dillinger, Madison Codscrote, Maud Barnacle and Frannie Harris have gained vigour, and Frannie Harris and Mildred Chollop have improved their morale.

Molly Bogey has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Madison Codscrote is ready for the Senior.

A new orphan, Ned Jackson, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.
You go to the south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Ned is housed here.

Percy is shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.

A new task: Bleeding Hearts, Haemorrhaging Funds
The incessant complaining and underhanded lobbying techniques of the Cruelty Defamation League have borne poison fruit: a law is being discussed in committee that, if enacted, would reduce the daily beatings permitted in juvenile institutions. Impassioned letter-writing has fallen on deaf ears, and it seems as if, once again, special interests will corrupt the fair process of government. But you're not entirely without friends. Hera Bethany Towlich, an artist of the back-room deal and the twisted arm, informs you that the voting is close and certain parties are open to persuasion. For 300 coins, the bill can be buried; for 700 it can be rewritten in language that would accidentally allow facilities of your kind more
discipline.
Few things are certain about the legislative process, but this is a matter of principle. What are you to do?
1 - Pay three hundred to bury the bill.
2 - Keep your money, cross your fingers and pray.
1
It boils your blood to be forced to pay money just to keep that which you possess by right; but sometimes principle must bow to sense. You fork the cash over, Hera eats some very nice lunches with some very unpleasant people, and no more is heard of the bill.
You assign Ned to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Ned Jackson into the Delousing Bath, and command him to remain there until he is presentable.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         awful
Madison    poor         abysmal      mediocre     poor
Ned        bad          poor         poor         poor
Maud       mediocre     mediocre     poor         mediocre
Tawny      poor         poor         mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     poor         poor         adequate     mediocre
Molly      mediocre     awful        good         poor
Frannie    poor         adequate     mediocre     mediocre
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         poor         poor
Discipline ned
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Ned Jackson. His discipline is now poor.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Molly, Maud and Frannie are housed here.

Griselda, Hubert, Tawny and Edie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.
Scrub cob
You seize Cob, drag a comb through his hair, and apply a rough brush to those parts of his person that he has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now poor.
Discipline hubert
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Hubert Dobson. His discipline is now adequate.
You discipline tawny
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Tawny Scraggley. Her discipline is now mediocre.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     awful
Madison    mediocre     abysmal      mediocre     poor
Ned        poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Tawny      mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
Hubert     mediocre     mediocre     satisfactory poor
Molly      mediocre     bad          satisfactory poor
Frannie    poor         adequate     mediocre     poor
Percy      mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Mildred    poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Edie Dillinger's vigour, which is now good.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Griselda Much's vigour, which is now poor.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Ned Jackson's looks, which are now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hubert Dobson's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Percy Dabney's looks, which are now adequate.

Edie Dillinger attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.
Mildred Chollop attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 140 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 42 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Ned Jackson has gained vigour, and Gretchen Bloch and Percy Dabney have improved their morale.

Maud Barnacle and Frannie Harris have graduated to the Senior House.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     adequate
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         bad
Madison    mediocre     awful        poor         poor
Ned        poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      adequate     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     mediocre     mediocre     adequate     poor
Molly      adequate     bad          excellent    poor
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     mediocre
Percy      poor         mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    poor         mediocre     mediocre     awful
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor

A new task: The Malnutrition Games
A number of forward-thinking administrators in the institutional guardianship sector are trying to put together a five-a-side streetball tournament. Team sports promote determination, local pride and contempt for the weak. On the other hand, you would need to field a team of five strong-limbed orphans of Senior House age; while matches are infrequent enough that they would still have time for regular activities, the risk of injury or escape should not be ignored. This opportunity may not present itself again, however.
Do you want to compete in the tournament?
Yes
Excellent. Use RECRUIT on orphans to add them to your team. If they disappoint, you can CUT them from the team -- but matches will not go ahead unless you have a full squad of five.
You look at your surroundings
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

Frannie, Maud, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.
You recruit Cob
You inform Froome that he will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises him alone.
.
You recruit mildred
You would be subject to endless ridicule from the other teams if you fielded a player as frail as Chollop.
You recruit Gretchen
You inform Bloch that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome and Bloch.
You recruit Frannie
You inform Harris that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome, Bloch and Harris.
You recruit Maud
You inform Barnacle that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome, Bloch, Harris and Barnacle.
Go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Molly is housed here.

Griselda, Hubert, Tawny and Edie are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You recruit Edie
A child so small would be crushed to pulp in a streetball tournament.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Frannie, Maud, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.
You recruit Jim
You inform Tench that he will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Froome, Bloch, Harris, Barnacle and Tench: a complete line-up.

Ringing the dinner-bell will start the next match.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         poor         adequate
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Madison    mediocre     awful        poor         poor
Ned        poor         poor         mediocre     poor
Maud       mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     adequate     mediocre     adequate     poor
Molly      mediocre     bad          good         poor
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     adequate     mediocre
Percy      poor         mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    poor         adequate     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Unassign Edie
You allow Edie Dillinger to take a break.
You assign Molly to the tricycles
You command Molly Bogey to occupy herself with the ancient tricycles. She obediently complies.
You scrub Jim
You seize Jim, pinch his cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and make him dedicate a few hours to shining his shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; his looks are now mediocre.
Discipline mildred
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Mildred Chollop. Her discipline is now mediocre.
Go south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

Edie is housed here.
Discipline edie
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Edie Dillinger. Her discipline is now satisfactory.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Ned and Percy are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     poor         mediocre     adequate
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Madison    mediocre     abysmal      poor         poor
Ned        poor         mediocre     mediocre     poor
Maud       poor         mediocre     mediocre     adequate
Tawny      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Hubert     adequate     mediocre     adequate     poor
Molly      mediocre     bad          good         poor
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     adequate
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     poor         adequate
Discipline ned
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Ned Jackson. His discipline is now mediocre.
You ring bell
You are due to face Blackburn Remedial in the first round. You have not played streetball since your reformatory days, but you feel you've been able to teach the children enough.

Jim Tench has lost some teeth during a three-point maul.
The injury is severe enough to take him off the team.

Your orphans are unceremoniously crushed. The outcome was never in doubt. You are out of the tournament, and a tangible sense of failure settles over everyone.
You cut Jim
Cutting him up would achieve little.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     poor         adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     bad          adequate     poor
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     mediocre     bad
Madison    mediocre     abysmal      mediocre     poor
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
Maud       poor         adequate     mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Hubert     mediocre     mediocre     adequate     poor
Molly      adequate     abysmal      good         poor
Frannie    mediocre     satisfactory adequate     mediocre
Percy      mediocre     poor         adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     awful
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
You recruit Frannie
Nobody has expressed any special interest in hiring orphans. You must trust to the soft mercies of the labour market.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Griselda Much's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hubert Dobson's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Molly Bogey's vigour, which is now bad.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Percy Dabney's looks, which are now satisfactory.

Maud Barnacle's audacious escape attempt was brought to an end by the Ruritanian Mastiffs. Unfortunately, so was Maud Barnacle. Once the dogs are sleeping, you retrieve the remains and dump them down the nearest sewer.

You receive a government stipend of 130 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 39 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Gretchen Bloch has gained vigour, and Tawny Scraggley and Molly Bogey have improved their morale.

Ned Jackson and Percy Dabney have grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.

The Orphanorium has been entrusted with three more children: Sadie Sankey is old enough for the Middle House, while Pepper Grabble and Jacek Scound will go to the Junior.
You go to the south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.

Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

A new task: Path to the Nest of Spiders
Ever since Slophouse & Sons started sourcing gruel ingredients from Ruritania, you have occasionally found a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider lurking at the bottom of a box of dehydrated oat-scrapings. Now, however, it seems that one has escaped and started to breed. The bite of the Ruritanian Misanthrope is not usually fatal, but the necrosis it causes is both painful and unsightly. Unless you want an establishment full of blotchy, keening orphans, you had better search for the nest and deal with it.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Jacek and Pepper are housed here.
Nfoo1
Ok.
RECAP
Ever since Slophouse & Sons started sourcing gruel ingredients from Ruritania, you have occasionally found a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider lurking at the bottom of a box of dehydrated oat-scrapings. Now, however, it seems that one has escaped and started to breed. The bite of the Ruritanian Misanthrope is not usually fatal, but the necrosis it causes is both painful and unsightly. Unless you want an establishment full of blotchy, keening orphans, you had better search for the nest and deal with it.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.

Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Frannie, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.

A penetrating wail would suggest that Griselda Much has been attacked by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You examine Griselda
Griselda Much, discarded daughter of an advertiser of adult stamps and a Greek medium.
Her discipline is mediocre, her vigour mediocre, her appearance adequate and her morale poor. It is difficult to remember that she was formed by God.
Search
What do you want to search?
You examine Mastiffs
The Ruritanian Mastiff breed is characterised by a face like a tumour and the heart of an abused wolverine. Ruritanian Mastiffs get disqualified from dog shows for failing to savage a judge.
When a Ruritanian Mastiff gets rabies, nobody notices. Rurie
owners would nonetheless say that they are highly intelligent, loyal and loving -- at least, those Rurie owners with a voicebox yet-untorn by slavering fangs.

Mastiffs significantly reduce the risk of orphans escaping. The condition of failed escape-artists is not guaranteed.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Jacek and Pepper are housed here.
Look around
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Jacek and Pepper are housed here.

Convulsive sobbing would suggest that Percy has been got by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.

Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

A howl of agony from the Middle House would suggest that Tawny Scraggley has been bitten by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You search hideaway
You find nothing of interest.

A penetrating wail would suggest that Pepper Grabble has been molested by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You describe your surroundings
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.

Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You examine the tricycles
Relics of the public-sector days, when it was hoped that regular tricycle use might furnish orphans of the correct age with enmuscled shanks, allowing them to better work a treadmill at a later age. Their designer, Hopfrock Truitt, fondly envisaged a future in which orphans would find gainful employment as cycle-rickshaw pilots, a dream dashed when it was discovered to be extremely stupid.
You go east
What you do outside work hours and the Orphanorium is not the concern of this story. (The Senior House is north, and the Junior House south.)
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Frannie, Madison, Jim, Mildred, Gretchen and Cob are housed here.
You examine the mural
The murals depict sturdy youths and modest maidens, with classic features and somewhat blank expressions, enthusiastically applying themselves to various forms of wholesome industry. The jobs depicted are chiefly of the rustic sort, or at least involve healthy exercise in the fresh air.
You search frannie
Although orphans are prone to infestations and mulishly insensitive to pain, you cannot quite believe that one could unwittingly harbour a nest of venomous spiders.

Soft moaning from the Senior House would suggest that Frannie Harris has been attacked by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Jacek and Pepper are housed here.

Cries of pain would suggest that Edie Dillinger has been chewed on by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
Search bath
You find a few cobwebs, a spider-leg or two, and some sucked-dry insects. No spiders, though. Certainly not a nest.
You look N
You see nothing unexpected in that direction.
You search the fairy tales
Aha! There has surely been a nest here not too long ago: empty egg casings, thick froths of web, the husks of infant spiders devoured by their siblings. Alas, it's here no longer. But the exodus was not covert: a trail leads you to an old bricked-up chimney flue, spidery holes punctuating its rotten mortar.

Soft moaning would suggest that Tawny Scraggley has been attacked by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You examine flue
This old chimney is probably where the spiders have made their nest. However, it was bricked up long ago, and the spiders must be getting in and out through the rotting mortar.

Tiny sobs would suggest that Madison Codscrote has been poisoned by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You examine the mortar
This old chimney is probably where the spiders have made their nest. However, it was bricked up long ago, and the spiders must be getting in and out through the rotting mortar.

A howl of agony would suggest that Mildred Chollop has been bitten by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You take the mortar
That's hardly portable.
You take the brick
That's hardly portable.

A penetrating wail would suggest that Tawny Scraggley has been attacked by a Ruritanian Misanthrope spider.
You break the mortar
The mortar crumbles easily under the slightest impact, and you are able to tear down half the wall with your bare hands. Out tumble several mummified pigeons, a great deal of soot and brick dust, and a scattering of panicked spiders that are instantly stomped upon by gleeful orphans. The chimney's jagged mouth is revealed, ominous wisps of web leading up into darkness.
Search flue
The short stretch of chimney that's visible from here doesn't seem to be the location of the nest, and you can neither reach nor see any further. Perhaps you might assign someone better-suited to this task.
You assign Pepper to the flue
You hand little Pepper a lantern, a spray-can of insecticide and a fortifying biscuit, then send her up the chimney with dire threats of what will happen if she returns without eradicating the spider nest. A hushed silence falls over the Orphanorium, broken only by the occasional squeal of agony.
You assign Jacek to Bath
You unceremoniously dunk Jacek Scound into the Delousing Bath, and command him to remain there until he has ceased to smell like a case of gangrene.
You look at the flue
From within the flue comes the sound of distant, constrained wriggling, and the occasional cascade of soot.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Sadie, Percy, Ned and Edie are housed here.

Molly, Griselda, Hubert and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.

In a sudden explosion of soot and insecticide fumes, Pepper Grabble emerges from the fireplace. She is rather horribly bitten and has inhaled a considerable quantity of soot, neurotoxins and spider legs, but her triumph over the spiders is undeniable. The orphans give up a ragged cheer, Pepper gets a double helping of gruel at supper, a man is called in to brick up the chimney, and life in the Orphanorium returns to normal.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Pepper is housed here.

Jacek is shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     mediocre     adequate     poor
Jim        mediocre     bad          mediocre     mediocre
Gretchen   poor         mediocre     poor         poor
Sadie      poor         awful        bad          mediocre
Madison    poor         awful        bad          mediocre
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Tawny      mediocre     adequate     poor         mediocre
Hubert     mediocre     adequate     adequate     mediocre
Molly      mediocre     bad          satisfactory mediocre
Jacek      bad          bad          poor         mediocre
Frannie    mediocre     satisfactory mediocre     adequate
Pepper     abysmal      poor         bad          awful
Percy      poor         mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     bad
Cob        mediocre     mediocre     poor         mediocre
Discipline percy
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Percy Dabney. His discipline is now adequate.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Pepper and Jacek are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
You discipline Pepper
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Pepper Grabble. Her discipline is now bad.
You discipline griselda
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Griselda Much. Her discipline is now adequate.
You scrub Sadie
You seize Sadie, drag a comb through her hair, and make her walk around with a book on her head. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Griselda Much's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now adequate.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Hubert Dobson's vigour, which is now adequate.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Molly Bogey's vigour, which is now bad.

Gretchen Bloch attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 160 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 48 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Griselda Much, Madison Codscrote and Tawny Scraggley have gained vigour, and Jim Tench, Tawny Scraggley, Hubert Dobson, Pepper Grabble and Mildred Chollop have improved their morale.

Jim Tench has reached the age of maturity, and there is nothing more you can do. He is lost to gainful industry and to virtue, and promptly becomes a panhandler.
Cob Froome has reached the age of maturity, and there is nothing more you can do. He is lost to gainful industry and to virtue, and promptly becomes a pirate.
Edie Dillinger and Hubert Dobson have graduated to the Senior House. You have been awarded custody of three orphans of Junior House age: Alice Makane, Harriet Rostigraben and Beth Twitch.
You go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Beth, Harriet and Alice are housed here.

Pepper and Jacek are shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.

A new task: The Malnutrition Games
A number of forward-thinking administrators in the institutional guardianship sector are trying to put together a five-a-side streetball tournament. Team sports promote determination, local pride and contempt for the weak. On the other hand, you would need to field a team of five strong-limbed orphans of Senior House age; while matches are infrequent enough that they would still have time for regular activities, the risk of injury or escape should not be ignored. This opportunity may not present itself again, however.
Do you want to compete in the tournament?
Go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Sadie, Percy and Ned are housed here.

Molly, Griselda and Tawny are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
Go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Hubert, Edie, Frannie, Madison, Mildred and Gretchen are housed here.
Status
Griselda   adequate     mediocre     adequate     poor
Gretchen   poor         adequate     poor         poor
Sadie      poor         abysmal      bad          mediocre
Madison    mediocre     awful        poor         poor
Ned        mediocre     poor         mediocre     poor
Tawny      mediocre     adequate     bad          adequate
Hubert     mediocre     mediocre     satisfactory mediocre
Beth       awful        mediocre     bad          poor
Molly      mediocre     poor         satisfactory mediocre
Jacek      poor         abysmal      poor         mediocre
Frannie    poor         satisfactory mediocre     mediocre
Harriet    poor         poor         bad          mediocre
Pepper     bad          mediocre     awful        bad
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
Alice      abysmal      poor         bad          poor
You recruit Edie
You inform Dillinger that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Bloch, Harris and Dillinger.
You recruit Hubert
You inform Dobson that he will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Bloch, Harris, Dillinger and Dobson.
You recruit Frannie
But Harris is already on the team roster.
You recruit mildred
You would be subject to endless ridicule from the other teams if you fielded a player as frail as Chollop.
You recruit Gretchen
But Bloch is already on the team roster.
You recruit Madison
You would be subject to endless ridicule from the other teams if you fielded a player as frail as Codscrote.
Status
Griselda   mediocre     adequate     adequate     poor
Gretchen   poor         adequate     mediocre     poor
Sadie      poor         abysmal      poor         mediocre
Madison    mediocre     bad          poor         mediocre
Ned        mediocre     poor         mediocre     mediocre
Tawny      mediocre     adequate     poor         mediocre
Hubert     adequate     adequate     satisfactory adequate
Beth       abysmal      mediocre     bad          poor
Molly      adequate     poor         excellent    mediocre
Jacek      bad          abysmal      poor         mediocre
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     mediocre
Harriet    bad          bad          bad          mediocre
Pepper     poor         poor         abysmal      bad
Percy      adequate     poor         adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     awful
Alice      abysmal      poor         bad          poor
You buy the treadmill
You reluctantly part with 400 coins, mail in your order, and in due course receive delivery of Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill; it is installed in the Senior House.
You look around
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill stands grimly against one wall.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Hubert, Edie, Frannie, Madison, Mildred and Gretchen are housed here.
You assign mildred to the treadmill
You command Mildred Chollop to occupy herself with Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill. She obediently complies.
You assign Madison to the treadmill
You command Madison Codscrote to occupy herself with Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill. She obediently complies.
You scrub Edie
You seize Edie, delouse her scalp with carbolic acid, and make her dedicate a few hours to shining her shoes. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now mediocre.
Status
Griselda   adequate     adequate     adequate     bad
Gretchen   poor         adequate     mediocre     poor
Sadie      poor         awful        poor         mediocre
Madison    mediocre     abysmal      poor         mediocre
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     poor
Tawny      adequate     adequate     poor         adequate
Hubert     mediocre     adequate     adequate     adequate
Beth       awful        mediocre     awful        poor
Molly      mediocre     bad          good         mediocre
Jacek      poor         awful        poor         mediocre
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     adequate
Harriet    poor         poor         bad          poor
Pepper     poor         poor         bad          bad
Percy      mediocre     poor         adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     bad
Alice      abysmal      poor         bad          poor
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Griselda Much's vigour, which is now adequate.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has weakened Madison Codscrote's morale, which is now mediocre.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Madison Codscrote's vigour, which is now bad.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now adequate.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Molly Bogey's vigour, which is now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Jacek Scound's looks, which are now mediocre.
My First Delousing Bath has brightened Pepper Grabble's looks, which are now bad.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has weakened Mildred Chollop's morale, which is now awful.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now mediocre.

Griselda Much attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.
Gretchen Bloch attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 170 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 51 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Sadie Sankey, Madison Codscrote, Jacek Scound and Mildred Chollop have gained vigour, and Edie Dillinger, Hubert Dobson, Beth Twitch, Frannie Harris, Pepper Grabble and Alice Makane have improved their morale.

A generous patron, impressed by Edie Dillinger's work ethic and crude charms, has offered her employment as a lady's maid. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 50 coins.
A generous patron, impressed by Hubert Dobson's commitment and pectoral development, has offered him employment as a lumberjack. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 50 coins.

Pepper Grabble has been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Griselda Much and Molly Bogey are ready for the Senior.

A new orphan, Mimi Trotter, has been entrusted to your care and is now housed in the Junior House.

The treadmill has produced 16 coins' worth of paranormal romance novels.
Status
Gretchen   poor         adequate     mediocre     poor
Sadie      poor         abysmal      poor         mediocre
Madison    poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     poor         poor
Mimi       bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Tawny      adequate     satisfactory poor         adequate
Beth       abysmal      mediocre     bad          poor
Molly      mediocre     poor         satisfactory mediocre
Jacek      bad          bad          mediocre     mediocre
Frannie    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     adequate
Harriet    poor         poor         bad          mediocre
Pepper     bad          poor         bad          poor
Percy      adequate     poor         adequate     satisfactory
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     awful
Alice      abysmal      poor         bad          mediocre
You recruit Madison
You inform Codscrote that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Bloch, Harris and Codscrote.
You describe your surroundings
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

Molly, Griselda, Frannie and Gretchen are housed here.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Madison and Mildred are busily occupied with Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill.
You recruit Griselda
You inform Much that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Bloch, Harris, Codscrote and Much.
You recruit Molly
You inform Bogey that she will be representing the Orphanorium in forthcoming games. Your team now comprises Bloch, Harris, Codscrote, Much and Bogey: a complete line-up.
Status
Gretchen   poor         adequate     poor         poor
Sadie      poor         awful        poor         mediocre
Madison    mediocre     poor         bad          adequate
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Mimi       awful        poor         bad          poor
Tawny      mediocre     satisfactory poor         mediocre
Beth       bad          mediocre     abysmal      poor
Molly      adequate     mediocre     good         adequate
Jacek      poor         bad          mediocre     mediocre
Frannie    poor         satisfactory mediocre     adequate
Harriet    poor         poor         bad          mediocre
Pepper     bad          poor         poor         bad
Percy      adequate     mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     bad
Alice      abysmal      poor         bad          mediocre
You scrub Madison
You seize Madison, pinch her cheeks until they take on a healthy red colour, and apply a rough brush to those parts of her person that she has neglected to keep to a hygienic standard. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You go to the south
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Pepper, Sadie, Percy and Ned are housed here.

Tawny is busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You unassign Tawny
You allow Tawny Scraggley to take a break.
You discipline tawny
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Tawny Scraggley. Her discipline is now adequate.
You assign all to the tricycles
You assign Sadie, Ned, Tawny, Pepper and Percy to the ancient tricycles.
You go to the south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Mimi, Beth, Harriet and Alice are housed here.

Jacek is shedding parasites, encrustations and chunks of skin in My First Delousing Bath.
Discipline alice
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Alice Makane. Her discipline is now awful.
Status
Gretchen   poor         adequate     mediocre     poor
Sadie      poor         bad          poor         mediocre
Madison    mediocre     poor         poor         mediocre
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     mediocre     mediocre
Mimi       bad          mediocre     poor         poor
Tawny      mediocre     adequate     poor         mediocre
Beth       awful        mediocre     abysmal      mediocre
Molly      mediocre     poor         satisfactory adequate
Jacek      bad          awful        mediocre     mediocre
Frannie    mediocre     satisfactory mediocre     adequate
Harriet    poor         bad          bad          poor
Pepper     bad          poor         bad          poor
Percy      mediocre     mediocre     adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     adequate     mediocre     awful
Alice      awful        poor         poor         poor
Discipline beth
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Beth Twitch. Her discipline is now poor.
You ring bell
You are due to face Folsom Juniors in the first round. You have not played streetball since your reformatory days, but you feel you've been able to teach the children enough.

The game ends in a convincing victory, and you are through to the next round.
You counsel the team against prideful celebrations, but their morale is clearly boosted by your success.
You ring bell
The ancient tricycles have fortified Sadie Sankey's vigour, which is now bad.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has weakened Madison Codscrote's morale, which is now adequate.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Madison Codscrote's vigour, which is now adequate.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Ned Jackson's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Pepper Grabble's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Percy Dabney's vigour, which is now mediocre.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Mildred Chollop's vigour, which is now good.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Alice Makane's morale, which is now adequate.

Mildred Chollop attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 160 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 48 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Sadie Sankey, Molly Bogey and Pepper Grabble have gained vigour, and Tawny Scraggley and Percy Dabney have improved their morale.

A generous patron, impressed by Griselda Much's ingrained servility and swanlike grace, has offered her employment as an informercial model. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 50 coins.
A generous patron, impressed by Molly Bogey's dedication and coltish grace, has offered her employment as a nursery-maid. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 50 coins.

Beth Twitch and Jacek Scound have been moved to the Middle House, being of sufficient age. Tawny Scraggley is ready for the Senior.

The treadmill has produced 12 coins' worth of pork pies.
You go north
This ward is the home of children aged between six and twelve. A series of oddly-shaped rooms produced by ill-considered renovations, it's difficult to heat, the lighting is bad and there are far too many blind corners and hideaways. The Junior House lies south and the Senior north.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Jacek and Beth are housed here.

Pepper, Sadie, Percy and Ned are busily occupied with the ancient tricycles.
You go north
Here reside the oldest children, aged roughly twelve to fifteen. The largest, best-lit and airiest of the wards, its walls are decorated with inspiring murals. The Middle House lies to the south.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

Tawny, Frannie and Gretchen are housed here.

Madison and Mildred are busily occupied with Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill.
Unassign mildred
You allow Mildred Chollop to take a break.
Unassign madison
You allow Madison Codscrote to take a break.
Status
Sadie      poor         poor         poor         mediocre
Madison    poor         mediocre     poor         adequate
Ned        mediocre     mediocre     poor         poor
Mimi       awful        mediocre     poor         poor
Tawny      adequate     satisfactory poor         mediocre
Beth       poor         mediocre     bad          mediocre
Jacek      bad          bad          mediocre     mediocre
Frannie    poor         good         mediocre     satisfactory
Harriet    poor         poor         bad          mediocre
Pepper     bad          adequate     poor         poor
Percy      adequate     adequate     adequate     adequate
Mildred    mediocre     good         mediocre     abysmal
Alice      abysmal      poor         bad          adequate
You discipline madison
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Madison Codscrote. Her discipline is now adequate.
You assign all to the tricycles
You assign Sadie, Ned, Beth, Jacek, Pepper and Percy to the ancient tricycles.
Go south
Here are housed the younger children, from the age of weaning to about six years old. Formerly a lumber-room, its ceilings are oppressively low. The Middle House is to the north.

From an obscure corner, My First Delousing Bath gives off sanitary-smelling vapours.

The Box is installed in a remote sub-basement, but the way to it is well-known to the miscreant and lolligagger.

A pack of savage Ruritanian Mastiffs patrol the grounds.

In one corner, piled up into a small mountain, are the many volumes of Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales.

Mimi, Harriet and Alice are housed here.
Discipline alice
You apply some well-deserved discipline to Alice Makane. Her discipline is now bad.
Scrub mimi
You seize Mimi, delouse her scalp with carbolic acid, and scrub her all over with turpentine and a pumice-stone. This accomplished, you deliver a short lecture on the spiritual and bacterial dangers of filthiness. Hopefully the lesson is learned; her looks are now poor.
You ring bell
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has weakened Gretchen Bloch's morale, which is now bad.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Gretchen Bloch's vigour, which is now satisfactory.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Sadie Sankey's vigour, which is now poor.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Ned Jackson's vigour, which is now adequate.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Tawny Scraggley's vigour, which is now excessive.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Beth Twitch's vigour, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Jacek Scound's vigour, which is now bad.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has weakened Frannie Harris's morale, which is now adequate.
Atherton's Ergonomic Treadmill has fortified Frannie Harris's vigour, which is now excellent.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Harriet Rostigraben's morale, which is now mediocre.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Pepper Grabble's vigour, which is now satisfactory.
The ancient tricycles have fortified Percy Dabney's vigour, which is now adequate.
Polychromatic Lung's Fairy Tales has improved Alice Makane's morale, which is now mediocre.

Gretchen Bloch attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.
Pepper Grabble's audacious escape attempt was brought to an end by the Ruritanian Mastiffs. Unfortunately, so was Pepper Grabble. Once the dogs are sleeping, you retrieve the remains and dump them down the nearest sewer.
Mildred Chollop attempted to escape, but failed to get past the Ruritanian Mastiffs.

You receive a government stipend of 130 for the feeding and care of your orphans; and pay out 39 coins on necessary care and maintenance, most of it going on food.
Your profligate meal plans have borne fruit: Ned Jackson and Percy Dabney have gained vigour, and Madison Codscrote, Beth Twitch and Harriet Rostigraben have improved their morale.

A generous patron, impressed by Madison Codscrote's dedication and powerful thighs, has offered her employment as a farmer's wife. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 40 coins.
A generous patron, impressed by Tawny Scraggley's demure ways and massive forearms, has offered her employment as a factory worker. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 40 coins.
A generous patron, impressed by Mildred Chollop's discipline and chapped hands, has offered her employment as a fur-puller. For your success as an educator, the Government awards you a bonus of 40 coins.

Frannie Harris has reached the age of maturity, and there is nothing more you can do. She is lost to gainful industry and to virtue, and promptly becomes a surrogate mother.
Mimi Trotter has grown up a little, and been transferred to the Middle House.

The Orphanorium has been entrusted with three more children: Izzie Butts is old enough for the Middle House, while Serge Geech and Igor Rudge will go to the Junior.

Thirty orphans have come and gone from your Orphanorium, and it is time for your Periodic Assessment.
Go north
time for your Periodic Assessment.Of thirty orphans leaving the system from your care, nine have become productive citizens. You have operated at a surplus of 829 coins. The Assessment therefore regards you as outstanding. Your certification is upgraded, but this is really quite irrelevant; one of the big metropolitan-orphanage firms headhunts you to run their new juvie centre, where you will be in charge of some hundreds of children, a staff, a regular budget; and a salary to match.