Food Magic
Paul Hughes
Speed-IF walkthrough
In this small silly game, you play as someone who's far more interested in cooking up varieties of Old Granny's soda bread than paying the landlord his rent money. America!
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You are in your hovel, which you call the Crying Place. It makes you feel like crying.

You can see a front door, a knife, a cookbook and Half a potato here.
You get all
front door: That's fixed in place.
knife: Taken.
cookbook: Taken.
Half a potato: Taken.
xyzzy: You can't see any such thing.
You cry
A tear rolls down your cheek.

The landlord pounds on the door, demanding rent. After a few seconds he thrusts his hand through a hole in the door, wiggling his fingers.
You pull the hand
That would be less than courteous.

The landlord wiggles his fingers.
About yourself
As good-looking as ever.
Attack landlord
Violence isn't the answer to this one.

"All right, I've put me finny in the hole like you wanted. Give me some rent in return, ye ninny!"
You cut the hand
You slice the landlord's hand off. You hear an anguished scream, and rapid footsteps retreating from your cottage. You have beaten the landlord! But at what cost? To the landlord?
You take the hand
Taken.
You examine the hand
You see a twitching, bloody hand.
Look around
You are in your hovel, which you call the Crying Place. It makes you feel like crying.

You can see a front door here.
You open the door
It seems to be locked.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a hand
a tear
Half a potato
a cookbook
a knife
a key
You unlock door
What do you want to unlock the front door with?
You unlock the door with the key
You unlock the front door.
You read the cookbook
OLD GRANNY'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF SODA BREAD. Getboatbread: To cook, wave a salty hand in the air. Changewarbread: To cook, put some lobster in some fettuccini. Getlampbread: To cook, get a lamp.
You wave the hand
You look ridiculous waving the hand.
You cry
A tear rolls down your cheek.
You put the tear on the hand
That's one salty hand!
You wave the hand
You summon a boat. A captain cries, "All hands on deck!" The hand joins the rest of the salty crew. You are boated to America.
Y.
You are in your hovel, which you call the Crying Place. It makes you feel like crying.

You can see a front door, a knife, a cookbook and Half a potato here.
You read the cookbook
OLD GRANNY'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF SODA BREAD. Getboatbread: To cook, wave a salty hand in the air. Changewarbread: To cook, put some lobster in some fettuccini. Getlampbread: To cook, get a lamp.
You look at the half
You see nothing special about Half a potato.

The landlord pounds on the door, demanding rent. After a few seconds he thrusts his hand through a hole in the door, wiggling his fingers.
You give potato to hand
(first taking Half a potato)
The hand withdraws, and a moment later Half a potato is thrown back through the hole, followed by the return of the hand.

"You must pay the rent!"
You take the knife
Taken.
You cut potato
Cutting that up would achieve little.

Ye owe me a HANDsome sum for all the months o" back rent ye haven't paid, ye lazy unemployed drunk"
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a knife
a key

"I demand the rent!"
About yourself
As good-looking as ever.

The landlord wiggles his fingers.
You unlock the door with the key
You unlock the front door.

"I ain't about to give ye a HAND-out, ye scallywag"
You open door
You open the front door.
Leave
You can see a front door, a lobster, some fettuccini and a lamp here.

Looks like the landlord dropped some stuff.
You get all
front door: That's fixed in place.
lobster: Taken.
fettuccini: Taken.
lamp: With an actinic flash, the lamp vanishes. A lamp appears in its place.
xyzzy: You can't see any such thing.

"I demand the rent!"
You get the lamp
All you can see is his hand sticking through the hole in the door.

You can also see a front door, Half a potato and a cookbook here.

Ye owe me a HANDsome sum for all the months o" back rent ye haven't paid, ye lazy unemployed drunk"

I'm not quite sure what you meant by that.

You already have that.
You read the cookbook
OLD GRANNY'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF SODA BREAD. Getboatbread: To cook, wave a salty hand in the air. Changewarbread: To cook, put some lobster in some fettuccini. Getlampbread: To cook, get a lamp.
You cut the hand
You slice the landlord's hand off. You hear an anguished scream, and rapid footsteps retreating from your cottage. You have beaten the landlord! But at what cost? To the landlord?
You drop the lamp
You can't go that way.

Dropped.
You get the lamp
With an actinic flash, the lamp vanishes. A lamp appears in its place.
You get lamp
You can't see any such thing.

You already have that.
Wave lamp
You look ridiculous waving the lamp.
You get a the lamp
You already have that.
Sing
Your singing is abominable.
You drop the lamp
Dropped.
You get the lamp
With an actinic flash, the lamp vanishes. A lamp appears in its place.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a lamp
some fettuccini
a lobster
a knife
a key
You read the cookbook
OLD GRANNY'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF SODA BREAD. Getboatbread: To cook, wave a salty hand in the air. Changewarbread: To cook, put some lobster in some fettuccini. Getlampbread: To cook, get a lamp.
You cut lobster
Cutting that up would achieve little.
You cut fettuccini
Cutting those up would achieve little.
You put lobster on fettuccini
You are transported to the Battle of Bunker Hill. A lobsterback hands you a potato and says, "Here's your ration." You eat the potato and then kill the redcoat because you hate the English, your oppressors. You created America! But at what cost? To America?