Zork: A Troll's-Eye View
Dylan O'Donnell
combat Evil protagonist fan fiction nonhuman protagonist One room parody puzzleless single room Xyzzy Awards 1998 Zork
Have you ever wondered how the life of a guard troll is? Find out in this game!
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It's not much of a job, but the Dungeon Master was looking for a guard troll, so you volunteered. You were given the standard-issue axe, and told to... well, guard.

Zork: A Troll's Eye View
An Interactive Tedium

Type "info" for the story behind it.
["Zork" is a registered trademark of Activision, Inc., used with permission.]

This is a small room with passages to the east and south and a forbidding hole leading west. Bloodstains and deep scratches (perhaps made by an axe) mar the walls.
You press the green button
People who'd probably hate to be associated with this, and probably don't know why I'm thanking them, but whom I ought to mention for one reason or another:

David "flatterer" Dyte, Lucian "Lucian" Smith, Neil de Mause, Dan "inky" Shiovitz, David Wildstrom, L. Ross Raszewski, Andrew Plotkin, Zak Arntson, Gareth Rees, Graham "of course" Nelson. And all those raif posters whose questions and answers I plundered via DejaNews.

Note that this game is freeware. Do with it what you will, bar hacking it about and not saying that you've done so. Gaudete.
Go north
It's a study of the relative paradigms of moral identity in classic and modern IF, intended to throw sidelights on the motivation of the player and of NPCs and their relative role in plot construction and development.

Dylan O'Donnell, born in the New Forest, Hampshire, England; currently working for Demon Internet in Southend, Essex. Long-time lurker and occasional poster (usually about off-topic things) on rec.[games|arts].int-fiction, inter alia. Do I get to mention an addiction to Babylon 5 here? No? Shame.
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a bloody axe
About yourself
As nasty-looking as ever.
You drop the axe
What if an adventurer came upon you unawares? Fine guard you'd be.
A "lean and hungry" gentleman with a large bag just wandered through the room. You nod to him, one professional to another.
You go west
The passages through there are twisty and all alike. You don't want to get lost.
Up
You stretch up and touch the ceiling. Fairly solid.
Go downwards
You experimentally tap the floor with the haft of your axe. Doesn't seem worth trying to dig through.
Sing
Your singing is abominable.
You jump
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
You go west
The passages through there are twisty and all alike. You don't want to get lost.

An adventurer strides in from the south, carrying a brass lantern. While your eyes adjust to the sudden light, he most unsportingly attacks you!

Slash! His blow lands! That one hit an artery, it could be serious!
Continue
The unconscious adventurer cannot defend himself; he dies. The body of the adventurer, and all his possessions, suddenly disappear in a puff of orange smoke.
Diagnose
You have a serious wound.
You wait
Time passes.
Diagnose
You have a light wound.
Sleep
Hey! No sleeping on duty!
You look
This is a small room with passages to the east and south and a forbidding hole leading west. Bloodstains and deep scratches (perhaps made by an axe) mar the walls.
You throw the axe
What if an adventurer came upon you unawares? Fine guard you'd be.

An adventurer strides in from the south, carrying a brass lantern. While your eyes adjust to the sudden light, she most unsportingly attacks you!

The adventurer's sword flashes out and connects painfully with your midriff.
Attack adventurer
Your axe crashes against the rock, throwing sparks.
You receive a deep gash in your side from the elvish blade.
It appears that that last blow was too much for you.