Episode in the Life of an Artist
Peter Eastman
cover art grue IF Competition 2003 IFComp Game quotations TADS TADS 2 walkthrough Xyzzy Awards 2003 XYZZY Best Individual PC
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Alexander Pope once said, "A little learning is a dangerous thing." I don't know what he meant by that. I've always thought learning was a good thing. Without it, you end up in some boring job that you hate. Maybe he was one of those Communists who wanted to give opium to the masses so they wouldn't notice they were bored and there was nothing to watch on TV. No, wait a minute... the Communists were against the Pope. Well, whatever.

It's time to go to work.

Bedroom, on the bed
I'm lying in bed. It's warm and cosy here. In fact, this would be
a really nice place to stay if there weren't an alarm clock going off across the room.
You examine the alarm clock
Without this, I don't know how I'd ever get up in the morning. It's currently buzzing loudly.

The alarm clock is buzzing loudly.
About yourself
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well I think I look pretty good.

The alarm clock is buzzing loudly.
You check your inventory
I am empty-handed.

The alarm clock is buzzing loudly.
You get up
Okay, I'm no longer on the bed.

The alarm clock is buzzing loudly.
You turn off the alarm clock
I turn off the alarm clock, and the buzzing stops. "The rest is silence." Shakespeare.
You look
This is my bedroom - a great place to come back to at the end of
the day. A doorway leads west into the hallway. The dresser stands against one wall, and the bed on the opposite side. There's also a closet, an alarm clock on top of the dresser, a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor (hey, it's still a couple of weeks till my laundry day!), and a life-sized cutout of Leonard Nimoy. What can I say? It's home!
You examine Nimoy
Mr. Spock was my hero when I was growing up. He had it all: strong, smart, always knew exactly what was going on. A lot like me.
You look at the clothes
There is a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor. Well, maybe 'pile' isn't exactly the right word. They're sort of strewn all over the floor. Seems to me like a good place for them.
You look at the dresser
It's an old but sturdy dresser. I've had it since I was a child.
You open the dresser
The dresser contains an assortment of clean clothing, ready to wear.
Wear clothing
Which clothing do you mean, the dirty clothes, or the clean clothes?
Clean
What, all of it? Please be a little more specific about what I should wear.
You get all
clean clothes: I look through the drawers of the dresser, and pull out some clean clothing to wear: socks, underwear, and a pair of pants.
You wear socks and the underwear and the pants
clean socks: Okay, I'm now wearing the clean socks.
clean underwear: Okay, I'm now wearing the clean underwear.
clean pants: Okay, I'm now wearing the clean pants.
You look
This is my bedroom - a great place to come back to at the end of
the day. A doorway leads west into the hallway. The dresser stands against one wall, and the bed on the opposite side. There's also a closet, an alarm clock on top of the dresser, a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor (hey, it's still a couple of weeks till my laundry day!), and a life-sized cutout of Leonard Nimoy. What can I say? It's home!
The dresser seems to contain clean clothes.
You go to the west
This is a short hallway between my bedroom (to the east) and living room (to the west). The bathroom is north.
West
Living Room/Kitchen/Dining Room
This is the main living area of my apartment, a sort of combined living room, dining room, and kitchen. Furniture includes a table, several chairs, and a very comfy sofa. There's also a refrigerator, a stove, and a TV. The hallway is to the west, and the front door is south.
Sitting on the stove is a frying pan.
You get the pan
Taken.
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), and a frying pan.
Go east
This is my bedroom - a great place to come back to at the end of
the day. A doorway leads west into the hallway. The dresser stands against one wall, and the bed on the opposite side. There's also a closet, an alarm clock on top of the dresser, a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor (hey, it's still a couple of weeks till my laundry day!), and a life-sized cutout of Leonard Nimoy. What can I say? It's home!
The dresser seems to contain clean clothes.
You take clean
Which clean do you mean, the clean pants, the clean socks, or the clean clothes?
You search the dresser
The dresser contains an assortment of clean clothing, ready to wear.
You get the clothing
Which clothing do you mean, the dirty clothes, or the clean clothes?
You examine dirty
There is a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor. Well, maybe 'pile' isn't exactly the right word. They're sort of strewn all over the floor. Seems to me like a good place for them.
You take Nimoy
I think Leonard will be happier if I leave him where he is.
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), and a frying pan.
You look
This is my bedroom - a great place to come back to at the end of
the day. A doorway leads west into the hallway. The dresser stands against one wall, and the bed on the opposite side. There's also a closet, an alarm clock on top of the dresser, a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor (hey, it's still a couple of weeks till my laundry day!), and a life-sized cutout of Leonard Nimoy. What can I say? It's home!
The dresser seems to contain clean clothes.
You open the closet
Opening the closet reveals a clean shirt and a pair of shoes.
You wear the shirt
(First taking the clean shirt)
Taken. Okay, I'm now wearing the clean shirt.
You go to the west
This is a short hallway between my bedroom (to the east) and living room (to the west). The bathroom is north.
Go east
This is my bedroom - a great place to come back to at the end of
the day. A doorway leads west into the hallway. The dresser stands against one wall, and the bed on the opposite side. There's also a closet, an alarm clock on top of the dresser, a large pile of dirty clothes on the floor (hey, it's still a couple of weeks till my laundry day!), and a life-sized cutout of Leonard Nimoy. What can I say? It's home!
The dresser seems to contain clean clothes. The closet seems to contain a pair of shoes.
You wear shoes
(First taking the pair of shoes)
Taken. Okay, I'm now wearing the pair of shoes.
You wear the shoes
I'm already wearing the pair of shoes!
Go west
Living Room/Kitchen/Dining Room
This is the main living area of my apartment, a sort of combined living room, dining room, and kitchen. Furniture includes a table, several chairs, and a very comfy sofa. There's also a refrigerator, a stove, and a TV. The hallway is to the west, and the front door is south.
You go south
I'd really like to eat breakfast before I go to work...
You open the fridge
Opening the refrigerator reveals a carton of milk, a carton of orange juice, two eggs, and some bacon.
You get the bacon
Taken.
You put the bacon in the pan
Done.
Turn
What do you want to turn?
You look at what you're carrying with you
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), and a pair of shoes (being worn).
You turn on the stove
Okay, it's now turned on. The strips of bacon sizzle and turn crispy.
You eat bacon
Just as I'm about to start eating, I glance at the clock and notice that the bus will be here in three minutes. No time to eat now! I grab a pop-tart to eat on the bus instead.
You go south
Just as I'm walking up to the door, I see the bus coming down the street. I grab my wallet, keys, and watch from the ledge by the door, throw on my coat, and dash outside as the bus is rolling up. I climb the steps, drop my money into the change-taking-machine (it makes a neat clinking noise as the coins roll down the slide), and take a seat near the front of the bus.

I'm sitting on the bus, about four rows back. It's fairly crowded
- lots of people going to work. Outside the window, I can see the city rolling past.
You examine city
We're driving through a residential district.
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a pop-tart, a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, and keys. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations.

A woman starts to sit down next to me, but immediately stands up again and moves to another row, wrinkling her nose and sniffing loudly. Perhaps I should have taken a shower...
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a pop-tart, a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, and keys. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations.

Darn it. I really should have turned off the stove before I left.
And closed the refrigerator. Oh well...
You eathe pop-tart
That was delicious! And it's a good source of 7 vitamins and minerals!
You describe your surroundings
I'm sitting on the bus, about four rows back. It's fairly crowded
- lots of people going to work. Outside the window, I can see the city rolling past.
You wait for a while
Time passes...

An old man in a battered raincoat sits down next to me. He has a chicken sitting on his head.
You look at chicken
The chicken is watching me in a way that makes me kind of uncomfortable. It's like she knows something that I don't.
Sleep
I've heard that horses sleep standing up. I can't imagine how they're able to do that. I sure couldn't!
You take the chicken
The chicken gives me an ominous glance as if to say, "Don't even think about it."

The old man sighs. "It grieves me to see the changes taking place in this town," he remarks. It sounds like he's trying to start a conversation. It always weirds me out a bit when strangers do that.
You ask the man about the town
He nods sadly. "I have lived in this city for many years, and it saddens me to watch the gradual loss of everything that once defined its character. The decline of the railroads... the disappearance, one by one, of stores and restaurants I have known and loved... and now the old Frobworks factory... It makes me begin to feel old."
You ask the man about the frobworks
"You have not heard? The Frobworks factory has been sold. There is a great deal of mystery surrounding the new owners."
You ask the man about the new owners
"Their identities are a closely guarded secret. Few seem to know, and those who know will not say. There have, of course, been many rumors. But perhaps it is better if I do not speak of things which I do not actually know."
You ask the man about the identities
He looks uncomfortable. "There have been many things whispered. Unpleasant things. There are those who believe... But no, I will not say. Please understand, I know nothing except rumors and gossip, and those may be nothing more than the wild imaginings of an overactive mind."
Wait
Time passes...
You ask the man about the chicken
"Dharmawati is resting at present. Perhaps in a little while she will feel ready to perform."
You look at what you're carrying with you
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, and keys. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations.
You examine the wallet
This was a birthday present a couple of years ago. It's a fairly ordinary leather wallet.
You open the wallet
In the wallet I see a driver's license and a five zorkmid bill.

The bus reaches my stop. The man with the chicken on his head stands up to let me out. As I squeeze past him, I feel him press something into my palm. I start to raise my hand to see what it is, but he stops me and shakes his head.

The chicken watches me as I leave the bus. All the way off, I can feel her eyes on the back of my neck.

Only when I'm standing on the sidewalk and the bus is pulling away do I look down to see what he has given me. It's a tiny flashlight, meant to go on a keychain. What on earth...? I look back to the bus, but it's already halfway down the block, and I can't see anything through the windows. All I can think of is a quote by Samuel Beckett: "He brings light, as only the great dare to bring light, to the issueless predicament of existence."

I head on into the factory. It's just a few minutes till starting time, so there are lots of other people arriving, punching timecards and heading to their stations. I still feel a bit weirded out by that guy on the bus, and the chicken on his head, and him giving me this flashlight like it was some big secret. I take a deep breath as I step out onto the factory floor. Everything's normal here, just like it always has been. I wave to some of the other guys as I walk past them toward my station, at the very start of the assembly line. It's good to be home.
You look
I'm standing at my station on the assembly line. A conveyor belt comes out of the wall to the east, and travels west down the middle of the room.
You examine the belt
The conveyor belt comes out of the wall to the east, and continues down the middle of the room. It is not currently moving.
You wait for a while
Time passes...

A bell rings loudly. With a clanking sound, the conveyor belt comes to life.
You examine the belt
The conveyor belt comes out of the wall to the east, and continues down the middle of the room. It is currently moving.

With a quiet clop!, a green widget appears out of a chute in the wall and lands in front of me, just to the side of the conveyor belt.
You put the widget on the belt
That isn't ready to go on the conveyor belt yet.

Clop! A red wodget appears out of the chute and lands beside the widget.
You get all
green widget: Taken.
red wodget: Taken.
You look at the widget
It's a bright green widget, made of plastic, with a square peg sticking up out of it. I'm an expert with these things!
You look at the wodget
A red plastic wodget, with a square hole in the middle.
You put widget in the wodget
I fit the square peg of the green widget into the square hole of the red wodget. They snap together with a satisfying click! to form a perfect red-green widget-wodget complex, all ready to put on the conveyor belt for transport on to parts unknown! God, I love my job!
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, keys, a flashlight, and a widget-wodget complex. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations.
You put the complex on the belt
I put the widget-wodget complex on the conveyor belt, which carries it off down the line.

Clop! A green widget appears out of the chute.
You get the widget
Taken.

Clop! A red wodget appears out of the chute.
You put the widget in the wodget
Click! Another perfect widget-wodget complex, made and ready!
You put the complex on the belt
I put the widget-wodget complex on the conveyor belt, which carries it off down the line.

Clop! A blue widget appears out of the chute. Huh? Blue?
You look at the blue
It looks just like every other widget I've ever seen... only totally different. Same plastic, same square peg... but it's blue!

Clop! A red wodget appears out of the chute.
You put the widget in the wodget
Ralph Waldo Emerson said that a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, and he knew what he was talking about. He knew that sometimes the widgets would be green, and sometimes they'd be blue.
So I've been doing this job for eight years, and every widget I've ever seen has been green. That doesn't mean the next one won't be blue. You've got to just take what comes and go on with your job. Emerson understood that, and that's why he was such a great genius.

I fit the blue widget into the red wodget. They go together with an... almost satisfying... clack!.
You put the complex on the belt
I put the widget-wodget complex on the conveyor belt, which carries it off down the line.

Clop! A blue widget appears out of the chute.
You get the widget
Taken.

Clop! A red wodget appears out of the chute.
You put the widget in the wodget
I put the peg of the blue widget into the hole of the red wodget and... wait a minute! It won't go in! Hey - this wodget has a round hole! What's going on here? What the...! OK, wait... just a second... don't panic. Take a deep breath. It's going to be OK. Everything's going to be OK.

Fine, so things change. The world is like that. Widgets used to be green and now they're grue. I mean blue. And wodgets used to have square holes and now they have round ones. That's OK. Round is a fine shape for a hole. I just have to put the peg into it anyway.

But it won't fit! No! I can't deal with this! Someone must have made a mistake! They can't expect me to put these together. I just can't do it. No one can do it! I've got to find someone and tell them they've made a mistake. Then the holes will go back to being square, and everything will be OK again.

That's odd... something seems to be happening further down the assembly line. I can't tell what's going on, but there's a lot of shouting, and I can see people running. Suddenly there's a clank, and the conveyor belt comes to a stop!
You go west
Perhaps you're wondering how I know the conveyor belt runs east to west. Well, I checked. "If you don't know where you're going, you probably won't get there." I don't know who said that. I saw it on a poster once. That very same day, I went out and got this super-durable, patent-pending outdoorsman's wrist-watch with built in compass, and since then I've always known exactly which way I was going.

As I walk along the conveyor belt, I can see the room emptying out fast. By the time I reach the far end, most of the workers are gone, and those who are left seem to be heading for the door. Mr. Biggs, the president of the factory, is standing next to the doorway and shouting at them. He almost looks like he's going to step in their way and try to block the exit, but he knows he'd get trampled if he tried.

This is the west end of the main floor of the factory. The
conveyor belt passes down the length of the room and disappears into the wall to the west. A large set of double doors leads north to the lobby.
You look at Biggs
For some reason, Mr. Biggs always makes me think of a bulldog. He can't be much more than five feet tall, and you always feel like he's about to attack you. No one messes with Mr. Biggs. I mean no one.

Mr. Biggs glances up at me. "Get back to work!" he shouts.
"There's absolutely nothing to be alarmed about! The company has some new owners, and they're just making a few changes. That's all there is..." He breaks off and lunges at the door in a desperate attempt to keep the last of the workers from getting away. He stumbles over his own feet, barely avoids falling, and collides with the wall. "Come BACK here!" he shouts, dashing out the door after them. It swings shut behind him, and the room becomes almost silent.
Go north
This is the lobby of the factory building. There's a potted plant sitting in the corner, only I looked at it closely once and found that it's made of plastic. There are doors going north to the parking lot and south to the main floor of the factory. There are hallways to east and west.
You examine the plant
I guess a plant that's made of plastic is a lot easier to take care of than a regular one. You never have to water it, just dust it once in a while, and it doesn't get sick or turn brown or anything like that, though if someone fell on it and broke it or something it wouldn't grow back the way a regular plant would. But then I guess you could just buy a new one. I wonder what company makes these things. If I ever leave this place, I ought to go and work for them. It sounds like a great business to be in!
Go east
I know Mr. Biggs said there was nothing to worry about, but I'm not sure I believe him. I never trust anything the first time someone says it. I learned that from a guy called Lewis Carroll. He said, "What I tell you three times is true." What he meant is that everyone says a lot of stuff. Some of it's true and some of it isn't. If you want to really know, you've got to ask them again to make sure they mean what they say. Otherwise, they might just be saying it and not really mean it.

I'm standing in a hallway that runs between the lobby, to the west, and the end of the building, to the east. North is the door to Mr. Biggs office, which is currently closed.
You look at the door
It's closed.
You open it
Perhaps I should knock on the door before going in? I don't want to upset Mr. Biggs by just barging in.
You knock on door
I knock carefully on the door. A muffled voice inside says, "Yes? Come in."
You go north
(Opening the door)
Mr. Biggs' Office
This has got to be one of the most boring offices in the world. No pictures on the walls, no fake plants, nothing. Just a big desk in the middle of the room. There aren't even any chairs, except the one Mr. Biggs sits in, so you have to stand up the whole time you're talking to him. You'd think he didn't like having people come see him or something. The office door, to the south, is open.

Mr. Biggs is sitting behind the desk, looking at me impatiently.
You talk to Biggs
What do you want to ask it about?
Owners
"You stay out of this!" he snarls at me, shooting up out of the chair like he's going to attack. Then he seems to catch himself. "Um, the new owners wish to remain, um, anonymous. Out of respect for their...um...wishes, I cannot say more."

He sighs and puts down the piece of paper he was reading. "Yes Smithers? What is it you want?" Smithers?
Look around
Mr. Biggs' Office
This has got to be one of the most boring offices in the world. No pictures on the walls, no fake plants, nothing. Just a big desk in the middle of the room. There aren't even any chairs, except the one Mr. Biggs sits in, so you have to stand up the whole time you're talking to him. You'd think he didn't like having people come see him or something. The office door, to the south, is open.

Mr. Biggs is sitting behind the desk, looking at me impatiently.
You look at the desk
It's a huge wooden desk, with a couple of drawers on one side, and enough space underneath that you could practically sleep under it. A big black telephone sits on one side. Some papers are spread out over the desk, like Mr. Biggs was looking at them.

If I'm going to ask him about the widgets, I'd better go ahead and do it.
You ask about the widgets
(Mr. Biggs)
"The world changes, Smithers. I know you're very attached to your widgets, but it's time to move this factory into the modern age. It's got new owners now, and they're bringing in a whole new way of doing business." He kind of scrunches up his face. I think it's supposed to be a smile, only he doesn't know how. "We're both very lucky to be here. This is a glorious age we're living in! Infinite opportunity for men with the courage and intelligence to recognize it and do what must be done! Men like me! And, uh... you."
You ask about Biggs
(Mr. Biggs)
He sighs. "Look Smithers, I'm very busy right now. Could we please discuss this another time?"

The telephone rings. Mr. Biggs' face turns pale. "Get out! Now!" he snaps at me. He almost looks like he's going to be sick.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you," I say, moving toward the door. "By the way, my name isn't..."

"I said get OUT!" he shouts, leaping from his chair as the phone rings a second time. He shoves me out of the room and slams the door.
You listen at the door
I put my ear to the door to listen. I can't make out exactly what he's talking about, but he sounds upset. I hear him say, "Yes sir," several times, and then, "But it's not ready yet! We need more time to test it first!" Then there's a long silence. It goes on so long I've almost decided that he must have hung up, when I hear him say very quietly, "Yes sir. I understand." He sounds terrified.
Go east
This is the east end of the hallway. There's a staircase going
down, and a doorway leading east to the loading dock.
Go downwards
The stairs come to an end at a closed door leading north, which
says "Research" on it. There's a black plastic thing sticking out of the wall next to it, which looks a lot like the thing you swipe your credit card through at the grocery.

It's funny, but you know something? In all the years I've worked at the factory, I've never been here before. Usually, I just go straight to my place on the assembly line. A few times, I've been sent to the loading dock to do things, but I've always just gone right past the stairs and never thought what was at the bottom. Well, now that I'm here, I guess it's not real interesting. I do wonder what's behind that door, though.
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, keys, a flashlight, and a blue widget. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations.
You examine the wallet
This was a birthday present a couple of years ago. It's a fairly ordinary leather wallet.
You open it
In the wallet I see a driver's license and a five zorkmid bill.
You examine the license
I hardly ever drive anywhere, but it's good to have a license, just in case. I think the picture on it makes me look kind of goofy.
You examine the doorway
A pair of swinging doors lead out to the loading dock.
You examine the staircase
It's an ordinary looking staircase. I'd tell you more about it, but really, I can't think of anything else to stay. You know, it's a staircase. Going down.
You go east
This is the loading dock for the factory. It's a big old cement platform that trucks can pull up to and load or unload stuff for the factory. I guess that's why they call it a "loading" dock, huh? Actually, I don't know why they call it that. It hasn't got anything to do with boats, so it isn't a dock, is it? Maybe there used to be a river here or something, and when it dried up, they just started using trucks instead of boats, but everyone still calls it a dock because that's what they're used to. I guess that would make sense.

Anyway, there are no trucks or boats here right now. There are a lot of crates piled up here, though. There's also a door going west into the factory.
Examine crates
There are a whole bunch of wooden crates stacked up on one side of the loading dock. They all have "USDA GRADE A" stamped on them in big black letters. No idea what that means. They also have arrows pointing downward that say, "This Way Up".
You search them
crates: I find nothing of interest.
You open them
crates: There's no way I could open these crates without a crowbar. They're nailed shut.
Go west
This is the east end of the hallway. There's a staircase going
down, and a doorway leading east to the loading dock.
You go to the west
I'm standing in a hallway that runs between the lobby, to the west, and the end of the building, to the east. North is the door to Mr. Biggs office, which is currently closed.

Mr. Biggs still seems to be talking on the phone. I can hear his voice coming faintly through the door. He sounds upset.

Mr. Biggs still seems to be talking on the phone. I can hear his voice coming faintly through the door. He sounds upset.
You listen at the door
There's another long pause, and then I hear Mr. Biggs say, "It will be done right away. Exactly as you describe." There's a click as he hangs up the phone, and I hear him getting up from the desk. I quickly move away from the door, since I don't want to get caught listening to him. A moment later, the door opens and he comes out. I'm afraid he'll ask me what I'm doing hanging out in the hallway, but he doesn't even seem to see me. His face is practically white, and as he pulls the door closed behind him, it almost looks like his hand is shaking. He heads east along the hallway, and disappears down the stairs at the end.
Go west
This is the lobby of the factory building. There's a potted plant sitting in the corner, only I looked at it closely once and found that it's made of plastic. There are doors going north to the parking lot and south to the main floor of the factory. There are hallways to east and west.
You go to the west
This is a short hallway connecting the lobby (to the east), the cafeteria (to the west), and the restroom (to the north). There's also a closet here where Rufus, the janitor, keeps his cleaning things.
You look at closet
The closet is closed.
You open it
Opening the closet reveals a broom and a uniform.
You examine the broom
It's an old broom that Rufus uses for cleaning the cafeteria. The word "Cleansweep" is printed on the handle in silver letters.
You wear the uniform
Why would I want to put on Rufus' uniform? I'm not a janitor!
Go north
This is the restroom for all of us who work here. It's pretty
basic: just a sink and a stall with a toilet. But it does the job pretty well.
You examine the sink
It's white and shiny and hard, just like most sinks. Rufus does a nice job of keeping it clean, I guess, but somehow I don't feel like it has much character.
You look at the stall
It's a toilet. What else is there to say about it?
You go to the south
This is a short hallway connecting the lobby (to the east), the cafeteria (to the west), and the restroom (to the north). There's also a closet here where Rufus, the janitor, keeps his cleaning things.
You go to the west
This is where we all eat lunch. Except Mr. Biggs, who I guess
must bring his own lunch since I never see him here. There's a bunch of tables and chairs here, and a long window that you walk past to pick up your food. The window is closed right now, since it won't be lunch time for a while yet.
You see a newspaper here.
Examine newspaper
It's a copy of The Daily Wombat that someone left in the cafeteria.
You read it
Hey! There's an article about the Frobworks plant on the front page! It says... hold on a minute while I read this... It's talking about the factory being sold. It says there's some group of foreign investors who are buying it, but they don't want anyone to know who they are. Something about a holding company, whatever that is. And a lot of people are wondering what they plan to do with it...
You read it
I flip through the rest of the newspaper, but the article about the Frobworks plant is the only one that looks really interesting. Except for an article about how to raise orchids, and it says that if you know what you're doing, you can earn hundreds of dollars just by having a bunch of plants sitting around your house. Maybe I should try that out. And there's an article here about how clear plastic bathing suits are going to be the big new fashion this summer, and everyone on the beach out in California will be wearing them. That sounds kind of uncomfortable, but I guess if that's what everyone else is doing...
You read it
I don't see anything else interesting. Just a lot of boring stories about wars and things like that.
You examine it
It's a big opening in the wall between the cafeteria and the kitchen, where they make the food. It's closed right now, since they aren't serving lunch yet.
Go east
I'm standing in a hallway that runs between the lobby, to the west, and the end of the building, to the east. North is the door to Mr. Biggs office, which is currently closed.
You go to the north
(Opening the door)
Mr. Biggs' Office
This has got to be one of the most boring offices in the world. No pictures on the walls, no fake plants, nothing. Just a big desk in the middle of the room. There aren't even any chairs, except the one Mr. Biggs sits in, so you have to stand up the whole time you're talking to him. You'd think he didn't like having people come see him or something. The office door, to the south, is open.
You examine it
It's a huge wooden desk, with a couple of drawers on one side, and enough space underneath that you could practically sleep under it. A big black telephone sits on one side. Some papers are spread out over the desk, like Mr. Biggs was looking at them.
You examine papers
It looks like some sort of a letter. The letterhead at the top says it's from 'Grue Industries, Incorporated', whatever that is. I try to read through the first few pages, but it's pretty hard to understand. Whoever wrote it likes to use lots of big words, things like "capital depreciation" and "market penetration" and "speculative revenue projections". I think they're unhappy because the factory isn't making as much money as they want it to.
You examine the telephone
You know how in movies, the President of the United States always has this big telephone that sits on his desk, and when it rings there's a light that flashes on it, and you know something terrible has just happened? That's what this telephone looks like. Like a phone you really don't want to get a call on.
You look at the drawers
They're big wooden drawers, exactly the kind you would expect to find in a big wooden desk.
You open them
drawer: Opening the drawer reveals a lunchbox and a plastic card.
You get all from the drawer
lunchbox: Taken.
plastic card: Taken.
You look at the lunchbox
It's a Dimwit Flathead lunchbox. I used to have one just like it back in grade school! It's made of metal, and covered with pictures of Lord Dimwit in famous places, like Mt. Rushmore and Flood Control Dam Number Three. The lunchbox is closed.
You open it
Opening the lunchbox reveals a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an apple.
You examine the card
It's the size and shape of a credit card, made of white plastic. On one side it says in really small letters, "This card is the private property of Grue Industries, Inc. If you are not authorized to possess this card, you are currently in violation of the law. Please contact the police immediately so you can be arrested and duly prosecuted." There's a black strip on the other side, just like the one on the back of a credit card. Other than that, it's completely blank.
You eat the apple
You know how in Snow White the witch gives Snow White a poisoned apple, and she eats it and falls asleep so everyone thinks she is dead? As I'm biting into the apple, it occurs to me that this one looks exactly like the apple in Snow White.

It's OK though. Nothing bad happens to me when I eat it, except my fingers are now a bit sticky from the juice on them.
You close the drawer
Closed.
Go south
I'm standing in a hallway that runs between the lobby, to the west, and the end of the building, to the east. North is the door to Mr. Biggs office, which is currently standing open.
Swipe card
There's a click, and the light on the card reader turns green.
You open the door
Opened.
You go north
I'm standing in a short hallway. There are doors to north, east, south, and west. Otherwise, the walls are completely blank. I can faintly hear voices coming through the door to the east.
You listen at the door
I can hear people talking on the other side of the door. I can't quite make out what they're saying, but I'm pretty sure that one of the voices is Mr. Biggs.
You open the north door
It's locked.
Go west
I put my head carefully through the door, but immediately pull it back again. There's someone in there! I'm really not supposed to be down here, and I could be in a lot of trouble if I get caught. I need some sort of disguise so I won't attract attention.
You go to the west
A man in a white coat looks up at me as I step into the room. I smile and show him my broom. He looks away without saying anything, and goes back to whatever he was doing. Good! I think my disguise is working!

(Opening the west door)
Workshop
This is a really weird room. It almost looks like a mad
scientist's workshop. There are bits of machinery all over the place, like someone has been putting things together or taking them apart. I have no idea what any of it is, though, and I'm not sure I want to know. I don't know why, but I'm getting a really creepy feeling from this place. What is it doing here? What does it have to do with the factory?

There's a door leading east back to the hallway, and another one to the west.

A man in a white coat is doing something with the bits of machinery. He's ignoring me, which is just fine as far as I'm concerned.
You examine machinery
I have no idea what any of this stuff is. There are gears, wires, tubes, pipes, motors, and I don't know what else scattered all over the place. It looks like someone's been building something. Or maybe taking something apart.
You examine man
It's a tall man wearing a white coat. You know the kind that mad scientists always wear in movies? One like that. I don't remember ever seeing him before. It looks like he's doing something with a piece of machinery, but I can't tell what.
You go to the west
(Opening the west door)
Machine Room
As I step into the room, the first thing I notice is the loud
clanking sound. There's a big machine sitting here noisily doing something. It looks like it's... No. Oh God, no. Please no, it can't be. No! Please!.

It's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. There are two conveyor belts running into the machine, one carrying widgets and the other wodgets. And it's fitting them together. It's doing exactly what I do, but a hundred times faster. I can hardly follow it with my eyes, it's fitting them together so quickly. I could never keep up with this thing. What do they need me for, now they've got this machine? All I've ever wanted to do was put widgets together. I thought I was the best, I had it made for life. And now with this thing... what am I? What am I good for? I'm so useless now, I don't even want to think about it. Will anyone care anymore if I live or die?
You examine the machine
There's a big machine in the middle of the room, clanking away. There are two conveyor belts running into it, one carrying widgets and the other wodgets, and the assembled widget-wodgets are coming out a chute on the other side and falling into a box

What a fool I've been. I see now what Mr. Biggs was talking about. They're going to replace us with machines. All of us! We've been doing our jobs up above, happily going along doing whatever they asked us. And they've been down here, building these robots to take our places. Talk about giving opium to the masses! What is it they've been giving us?
You break the machine
That's what I want to do. But how?
You put the widget in the machine
I can't put anything into the machine.

I saw this movie once about these two guys who wrote music. One of them was really popular, but the other one wrote better music, and the first one knew it. He couldn't stand knowing someone else was better than him, so he tried to kill him.

I think I understand now what that guy must have felt. I've always thought of myself as an artist. I put widgets together, and I always thought I was really good at it. No one could put those widgets together like I could. I guess it's like that for all artists. We go along doing our thing and thinking we're really good. And then one day we meet someone who's so much better, we don't know why we even bother trying. You've either got to give up, or find a way to get rid of them. They say art isn't easy. I finally know what they mean.
You describe your surroundings
There's a big machine in the middle of the room, clanking away.
There are two conveyor belts running into it, one carrying widgets and the other wodgets, and the assembled widget-wodgets are coming out a chute on the other side and falling into a box
You put the widget on the machine
There's no good surface on the machine.

Very well, I see now what I must do. Let it be war between us. "Be bloody, bold, and resolute." Either I will destroy this machine, or it will destroy me. "Lay on, Macduff, and damn'd be him that first cries, 'Hold, enough!'"
You put the widget on the belt
I drop the widget onto the conveyor belt. Within seconds, it has disappeared into the machine. A moment later, there's a strange cracking sound. It's hard to describe exactly. I guess it sounds sort of like a square-pegged widget being forced into a round-holed wodget at high speed, under lots of force. It's followed by a sound of belts squealing, which ends abruptly with a loud snapping sound. Then without warning, there's a deafening BANG! When my ears stop ringing, I realize that the machine has stopped. A thin stream of smoke is coming from it.
You look around
The machine has stopped running. A thin stream of smoke is coming from it, and there are a couple of odd dents in the case.
You check what you're carrying
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, keys, a flashlight, a broom, a uniform (being worn), a newspaper, a lunchbox, and a plastic card. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations. The lunchbox seems to contain a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Go east
As I step through the door, something hits me like a flying locomotive. Next thing I know, my back is pressed against the wall, there's someone holding me on either side, and Mr. Biggs is staring me in the face, his eyes bulging out like he was going to explode.

"So, I'll bet you think you're very clever, don't you?" he wheezes. "Yes, very, very clever, huh? Well I'll show you who's clever. I'm going to tie you up, and throw you into a vat of boiling water. I'm going to cut open your stomach, and pull out all your intestines, and fry them up while you watch me do it! I'm going to make you scream so loud you'll wish you'd never been born! You're going to beg me to let you die, and I'm going to stand there and smile at you! I'm going to make you..."

Suddenly he stops. A peaceful look comes over his face, and he almost looks like he's smiling. "No. I have an even better idea. I'll let the owners deal with you themselves. I'm sure they can find an appropriate...use...for you." This time he really does smile, and something about it sends a chill through my whole body.

He spins around without another look and starts walking away. "Let's go. Bring him along!" I'm half dragged, half carried through a series of doorways, down a hall I've never seen before, through another set of doors. Suddenly I find myself staring at a final doorway. It's open, and there are stairs leading down into darkness. A coldness, and a strange musty smell, rises out of it.

"OK," says Mr. Biggs. "Throw him in." There's a shove, the hands holding me let go, and I find myself tumbling down the stairs. Something cracks against my head on the way down, and I hit the bottom with a painful thump. The sound of the door slamming shut echoes through the darkness like the fall of a headsman's ax.

It's pitch black.
You turn on the flashlight
I'm in what must be the basement of the factory. The walls and
floor are made of concrete, and the ceiling is covered with pipes and ventilation ducts. Large metal light fixtures hang down at regular intervals, but they're all turned off. Only my little flashlight makes a pool of light in the middle of the room. There is a thick layer of dust on the floor. Otherwise, the room is completely empty.

Open doorways lead south and east. A metal staircase attached to the north wall leads upward.
You look at the staircase
These are the stairs that I fell down. They look old and kind of rickety. I can't see the top from where I'm standing.
Go upwards
I'm standing on a narrow metal staircase which leads down into darkness. At the top is a closed door.
You open the door
I try to turn the handle, but it doesn't budge. It must be locked.
You descend
I'm in what must be the basement of the factory. The walls and
floor are made of concrete, and the ceiling is covered with pipes and ventilation ducts. Large metal light fixtures hang down at regular intervals, but they're all turned off. Only my little flashlight makes a pool of light in the middle of the room. There is a thick layer of dust on the floor. Otherwise, the room is completely empty.

Open doorways lead south and east. A metal staircase attached to the north wall leads upward.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of movement through one of the doorways. I spin around and shine the flashlight through it, but there's nothing there. Maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me?
You go south
This is the oddest room. Well, the room itself is ordinary enough
- more concrete, more pipes, doorways leading east and north. It looks like this was once a storeroom. I can see discolored patches on the walls and floor where large boxes must have sat for a long time.

It's the current contents of the room that are strange. No boxes or furniture anymore, just a huge pile of... stuff... in the middle of the floor. It's a mass of all sorts of odds and ends: scraps of cloth, old phone books, broken mattresses, and who knows what else.
It looks like a giant rat's nest. The strange musty smell that fills the basement is stronger here, like it was coming from this pile.
You examine nest
Holding my nose, I move carefully toward the strange pile of stuff. I can see it better up close. There are old pieces of clothing, shirts and jackets and such, all torn and stained. There are lots of sheets, blankets, even a sleeping bag. There's a large rubber ball, like one you'd play with at the beach. And something that looks like...

Oh my...

several large bones. Some of them with bits of meat still on them.
You examine the bones
Please, don't make me go any closer. I don't like this place. I don't know what it is, but I want to leave. Please...
Go east
Another basement room, just like the others. This one isn't quite empty: a tall metal filing cabinet stands against one wall. Doorways lead north and west.
You examine the cabinet
It's an ordinary looking metal filing cabinet. It has five drawers, all of which are currently closed.

Again, I see movement through the doorway. I'm sure of it this time. Something large and dark, moving slowly toward me. But again, when I shine the flashlight, there's nothing there. I don't like this place, I'm scared, I want to go home...
You open the cabinet
I try each of the drawers in turn. All of them are locked except the third one, which slides open easily. It is filled with papers.
You examine papers
I flip through the papers and select one at random. It's something from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. I guess it must be a patent. It's entitled, "A Device for Locomotion Through the Conversion of Rotary to Linear Motion." Huh?
You look at the papers
I flip through the papers and select one at random. It's a brochure from the Society to Ban Hydrogen Hydroxide. It says that hydrogen hydroxide is a pollutant which is created as a side effect of many industrial processes. It can be harmful or even fatal if ingested in sufficiently large quantities, and is a major component of acid rain. In spite of this, it is completely unregulated, and many factories just dump it into the environment! It has been detected in many streams, rivers, and lakes, and may even be getting into the drinking water supply. This is really scary stuff. And I'd never even heard of it!
You examine papers
I flip through the papers and select one at random. It looks like another patent. "A Method for the Production of Energy in Biological Systems Through the Decomposition of Simple Sugars." This stuff is really weird.
You look at the papers
I flip through the papers and select one at random. It's a thick packet of photocopied pages that look like they're from an old book: "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter." I flip through a few pages, but I can't make head or tail of it. It reads kind of like poetry, but not really, and mostly it just sounds like someone was writing nonsense.
You examine papers
I flip through the papers and select one at random. This one's another brochure: "My Life as a Governess: A Witch's Guide to Controlling Children and Other Pests," by Silvia Daisy Pouncer. Since I don't have children, I'm not very interested in things like this.
Go north
Basement, with Telephone
This is another room, just like the last one. There are doorways leading west and south. The room is almost completely empty, except for one thing: sitting right in the center of the concrete floor is a little table, the sort of fancy table made from curved pieces of wood that you find in antique stores. And on top of the table is a telephone.
You examine the Telephone
How strange. There's no buttons, no dial, nothing. Just a handset sitting on a cradle, and a blank area where the buttons ought to be.
I pick up the handset and listen to it. Instead of a dial tone, I hear a phone ringing on the other end. I let it ring several times, but no one answers, so I put it back.
You examine table
It's a little wooden table. The feet are shaped like claws holding balls, and the legs are carved to look like they're covered with flowers. I have no idea what this thing is doing here. I can hardly imagine anywhere that it would look more out of place. I don't understand anything that's going on.

There it is again, movement through the doorway, but it disappears before I can shine the flashlight on it.
Go west
I'm in what must be the basement of the factory. The walls and
floor are made of concrete, and the ceiling is covered with pipes and ventilation ducts. Large metal light fixtures hang down at regular intervals, but they're all turned off. Only my little flashlight makes a pool of light in the middle of the room. There is a thick layer of dust on the floor. Otherwise, the room is completely empty.

Open doorways lead south and east. A metal staircase attached to the north wall leads upward.
Inventory
I have clean pants (being worn), clean socks (being worn), clean underwear (being worn), a clean shirt (being worn), a pair of shoes (being worn), a coat (being worn), a wristwatch (being worn), a wallet, keys, a flashlight (providing light), a broom, a uniform (being worn), a newspaper, a lunchbox, and a plastic card. The coat pocket seems to contain a book of famous quotations. The lunchbox seems to contain a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
You examine wristwatch
One of my proudest possessions. This wristwatch is water-proof, shock-proof, and heat-proof, with alarm, stopwatch, countdown timer, memory for 24 phone numbers, and built in compass and thermometer. I don't usually care about knowing the time that much, but it sure looks cool.
You turn off the flashlight
I turn off the flashlight, and immediately I'm plunged into darkness.
Wait
Time passes...
You wait
Time passes...

I just heard something. Or did I? A sort of muffled thump? I can't really tell. This place echoes strangely, and all my own sounds come back to me in odd ways.
Wait
Time passes...

I definitely heard something. Sort of a quiet scratching sound. I'm not sure which way it came from, but it definitely wasn't me. Where am I? What is this place?
You wait
Time passes...

The sound is coming closer! There's something down here with me, and it's coming toward me! Help, please, get me out of here. There's something down here and I don't know what it is, but I'm really scared and I want to get out of here. Please help me...
Wait
Time passes...

Aaaiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
You put the flashlight in the nest
I don't want to leave it just lying around. It might get lost.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of movement through one of the doorways. I spin around and shine the flashlight through it, but there's nothing there. Maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me?
Go east
Another basement room, just like the others. This one isn't quite empty: a tall metal filing cabinet stands against one wall. Doorways lead north and west.
You look at the cabinet
It's an ordinary looking metal filing cabinet. It has five drawers, of which the third one is currently open. It is filled with papers.
You open the drawers
The filing cabinet is already open!
You look at the box
It's a small metal box, attached to the wall. It is currently closed.

Again, I see movement through the doorway. I'm sure of it this time. Something large and dark, moving slowly toward me. But again, when I shine the flashlight, there's nothing there. I don't like this place, I'm scared, I want to go home...
You open it
I open the box, revealing a circuit breaker switch.
You turn off the flashlight
I turn off the flashlight, and immediately I'm plunged into darkness.
Examine box
It's a small metal box, attached to the wall. It is currently open, revealing a circuit breaker.
You examine the lights
The lights are spaced along the ceiling every ten feet or so. They're held in round metal reflectors that hang down about five feet from the ceiling to get below all the pipes and stuff.
You look at the pipes
I can barely see most of the ceiling, since it's hidden in shadow behind all the pipes and ducts hanging down from it. The shadows wiggle strangely as I move the flashlight back and forth. Almost as if there were something up there...
You look at the breaker
Inside the box is a circuit breaker switch. It is currently on.
You go to the north
Basement, with Telephone
This is another room, just like the last one. There are doorways leading west and south. The room is almost completely empty, except for one thing: sitting right in the center of the concrete floor is a little table, the sort of fancy table made from curved pieces of wood that you find in antique stores. And on top of the table is a telephone.

There it is again, movement through the doorway, but it disappears before I can shine the flashlight on it.
Examine book
This is my guide in life. More than 10,000 quotations by the greatest, most intelligent people in history. I really can't imagine life without it. Anything important that's ever been said, I can find it in here.

Not many people know this about me, but I was adopted. I don't know who my real parents were. I was just left on the doorstep of an orphanage with nothing but a change of diapers and this book of quotations. So I guess it won't surprise you that I've always thought of this book as my parents' voice. I've tried to live my life by it. When I've got to make any big decision, I always look here first, and I always find something that tells me what to do.
You read it
I flip through the book of quotations and pick one at random. G.K. Chesterton: "An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."
You read it
I flip through the book of quotations and pick one at random. Samuel Johnson: "Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind."
You read it
I flip through the book of quotations and pick one at random. H.P. Lovecraft: "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
You examine the walls
The walls are made of concrete. I don't see anything interesting about them.
You go east
Another basement room, just like the others. This one isn't quite empty: a tall metal filing cabinet stands against one wall. A small metal box, previously hidden by the cabinet, is mounted on the wall. Doorways lead north and west.
You climb the cabinet
It's too tall for me to climb on top of, and I think it might tip over if I tried.

There it is again, movement through the doorway, but it disappears before I can shine the flashlight on it.
Go north
Basement, with Telephone
This is another room, just like the last one. There are doorways leading west and south. The room is almost completely empty, except for one thing: sitting right in the center of the concrete floor is a little table, the sort of fancy table made from curved pieces of wood that you find in antique stores. And on top of the table is a telephone.
You climb the table
It's too small for me to stand on top of.
You jump
Wheeee!
You look at the dust
The concrete floor is covered with a thick layer of dust. It looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages. There are strange patterns in the dust - long trails like objects have been dragged along the floor, and smaller streaks, and blotches that look almost like footprints but not quite.
You turn on the switch
It's already turned on!
You switch the switch
It's pitch black.
You turn on the switch
I flip the switch on the circuit breaker. At first I don't think anything's going to happen. Then I hear a quiet hum, and a moment later I'm blinded as all the lights in the basement suddenly come on.

At the same moment a deafening sound echoes through the room, something half way between an animal roar and a scream. It's followed by a series of banging sounds, first dull ones, then ringing ones of something pounding against metal. Then there's a crash like something shattering. I hear a few more quiet screams vanishing into the distance, and then silence.

I'm sorry. What just happened?
Describe the surroundings
Another basement room, just like the others. This one isn't quite empty: a tall metal filing cabinet stands against one wall. A small metal box, previously hidden by the cabinet, is mounted on the wall. Doorways lead north and west.
Go north
I'm in what must be the basement of the factory. The walls and
floor are made of concrete, and the ceiling is covered with pipes and ventilation ducts. Large metal light fixtures hang down at regular intervals. There is a thick layer of dust on the floor. Otherwise, the room is completely empty.

Open doorways lead south and east. A metal staircase attached to the north wall leads upward.
You go east
Basement, with Telephone
This is another room, just like the last one. There are doorways leading west and south. The room is almost completely empty, except for one thing: sitting right in the center of the concrete floor is a little table, the sort of fancy table made from curved pieces of wood that you find in antique stores. And on top of the table is a telephone.
You examine table
It's a little wooden table. The feet are shaped like claws holding balls, and the legs are carved to look like they're covered with flowers. I have no idea what this thing is doing here. I can hardly imagine anywhere that it would look more out of place. I don't understand anything that's going on.
Go upward
I'm standing on a narrow metal staircase which leads down to the basement, and up to a closed door. Or rather, it would be closed if there weren't a huge hole smashed right through the middle. It looks like a freight train went through here, and the door got in the way.
Go upward
I climb through the hole in the door to the hallway on the other side. It takes a few wrong turns, but eventually I find my way back upstairs again. The whole factory seems to be deserted. Not a sign of anyone. The parking lot is completely empty.

As I stand waiting at the bus stop, I have the strangest feeling.
It's like waking up from a trance, or leaving the auditorium at the end of a concert. I know I've been somewhere strange, witnessed amazing things, but I'm not certain exactly what they were. "States of dreamy melancholy, fits of aimless joy." Was I the audience or the performer? Did it really happen, or was it just a fantasy? A witch's spell? Am I the artist? And if not, then who is?

I think I'll stop off at the mall on my way home. I need an ice cream cone.

Dear Mom,

Thanks a lot for the cookies you sent. They were really great. I still say you make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world.

My new job is going really well. I never would have guessed that screwing caps onto toothpaste tubes could be so interesting. My boss, Mr. Bucket, says I have a natural talent for it.

I was really lucky to find a job so quickly. A lot of the guys from Frobworks are still looking. No one's sure what the new owners are planning to do with the building yet, but there's a rumor that they want to start a computer game company. Pretty weird, huh?

Anyway, thanks a lot. I'll write again soon. I love you a lot.

Your son,

P.S. Next time, could you send chocolate chip instead?

FBI WARNING:

THE FBI COULD NOT CARE LESS WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS GAME. THEY MAY, HOWEVER, STILL CHOOSE TO TAP YOUR PHONE LINE, READ YOUR EMAIL, AND SEND LOVE LETTERS TO RANDOM PEOPLE SIGNED WITH YOUR NAME. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE SUSPECTED OF COMMITTING ANY CRIMES. THEY JUST ENJOY DOING IT.

No grues were harmed in the making of this game.

Congratulations! You have completed the game!

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.
Outtakes
It's time for breakfast! I sit down to a delicious meal of fried eggs and start... ummm... excuse me.

I'm sorry, I just can't do this. I can't stand eggs. Even the smell of them makes me sick. Couldn't we please change them to something else, like toast or cereal?

OK, wait a minute. I have an idea. We'll keep the eggs, but as soon as they ask me to eat them, I'll realize the bus is coming. So I won't have time to eat them, and I can just grab a pop-tart or something instead. That way we can keep your whole "cooking the eggs" thing you were so proud of, but I won't have to eat them. Would that be ok?

>put widget into wodget

I put the peg of the blue widget into the hole of the red wodget and... wait a minute! It won't go in! Hey - this wodget has a...

triangular?

OK, very funny! Who's the wise guy in props?

>wear uniform

Just like that? "wear uniform"? Am I supposed to somehow put it on over the clothes I'm already wearing? Or do you want me to strip them off first? And then what should I do with them? Carry them around? Leave them here?

Oh, right. Plot device. Never mind.

>turn on flashlight

I turn on the flashlight and... Wait a minute. It isn't going on. The bulb must be burnt out. OK, I'm standing here in the dark, and my flashlight won't go on. Um... there aren't really any grues down here, are there? Could someone turn on the lights? Hello? Anyone? Bill, is that you? Bill?

Dear Mom,

I have some very important news to tell you. I have decided to get a job with a company that writes computer games. I know this will come as a disappointment to you, since you've always wanted me to work in a factory like you and dad. I know what you will say about family traditions and your great uncle Herbert and all that, but this is MY life, damn it. I'm sick of wasting my life putting stupid pieces of plastic together day after day after day. It's time I did something that I care about, for a change.

And while I'm at it, what's up with the cookies? How many times have I told you that I can't stand oatmeal raisin cookies? Why do you insist on doing this to me? Are you trying to prove something, or can you simply not believe I could really feel differently from you about anything in the world?

Dear Mom,

Thank you for the cookies you sent. I guess you forgot that I don't eat oatmeal raisin cookies, but I really appreciate the thought.

I have some wonderful news for you. I've decided to get a job with a company that writes computer games. I know it's a bit different from what you've always imagined for me. But this is a great opportunity, and I think I could be really good at it.

I hope you won't be too disappointed by this. I just don't want to keep wasting my life working at an assembly line. Not that there's anything wrong with working on an assembly line. I know you and dad have done it all your lives, and you really like it. It's just that I don't want to keep wasting my life

(sigh)

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.

Type OUTTAKES to view outtakes, RESTORE to load a saved game, RESTART to start the game over again, or QUIT to quit.