The People's Glorious Revolutionary Text Adventure Game
Taylor Vaughan
communism cover art humor IF Comp 2010 IFComp Game parody political satire silly Xyzzy Awards 2010
Sure, there's only five of you against a world full of reactionaries, but you have Revolutionary Spirit! You can't possibly fail. Nothing can stand in your way! Now if only you could find your Revolutionary to-do list...
%
Today is the day you've been waiting for! Today is the day when the Revolution arrives to sweep over this entire town, converting it to a worker's paradise! Your heart beats with trepidation and excitement and you can almost taste victory!
But victory's not here yet. You still have a lot of work to do. After all, it's like Marx said: It's one thing to interpret the world but the point is to change it. And today, change will come!
Now if only you could find your Revolutionary To-Do List...



In future generations, this building may well be a museum, for this is where the People's Committee for the Revolution made their glorious plans to liberate all who are oppressed! The red light that illuminates the room might cause eye strain and make it hard to work, but it is truly inspiring.
You can exit the headquarters to the west (how appropriate!) and a staircase leads downwards to the lab.

A giant workers' flag hangs on the back wall, filling your heart with Revolutionary Pride.

Underneath the flag sits the committee's desk, upon which all Revolutionary Managerial Work is accomplished.
About you
You've known since you were 12 that it's fate that you share a name with the late, great Karl Marx. You've also been trying to grow out a beard like his but so far that hasn't gone very well.

Your head itches beneath your papakha.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
Salute flag
You salute the workers' flag.
Examine Bracelet
A small bracelet with the words "What Would Trotsky Do?" as a reminder to always do the Revolutionary Thing.
Scratch head
You swore a solemn vow not to remove the papakha from your head until the Revolution is achieved!
Well, on the other hand, your hair is getting really greasy and itchy. It probably wouldn't hurt to take your hat off for a minute or two. Tucked into the hollow of your papakha is your to-do list. So that's where it went!

You scratch your hair.
You read List
You look over your to-do list.
steps to glorious Revolution:
( ) win hearts of proletariat
( ) win minds of proletariat
(-) win bodies of proletariat (don't do. that is disgusting.)
( ) get parts for comrade semenov
( ) ruin the good name of a major corporation
( ) cripple capitalist government infrastructure
( ) find supplies to throw a communist party!

|          Bank of Freedonia           |
|       #1 In Fixed Rate Loans! |
You look at your surroundings
In future generations, this building may well be a museum, for this is where the People's Committee for the Revolution made their glorious plans to liberate all who are oppressed! The red light that illuminates the room might cause eye strain and make it hard to work, but it is truly inspiring.
You can exit the headquarters to the west (how appropriate!) and a staircase leads downwards to the lab.

A giant workers' flag hangs on the back wall, filling your heart with Revolutionary Pride.

Underneath the flag sits the committee's desk, upon which all Revolutionary Managerial Work is accomplished.
You examine the flag
A glorious red flag emblazoned with a yellow hammer and sickle. Just looking at it swells your heart with pride and anticipation.
You look at the desk
A fine wooden desk, carved out of solid wood, no doubt by an oppressed worker. Luckily his work was turned to good use when the Committee liberated this desk from the basement of a nearby office building where it was wasting away as an example of capitalist decadence.

The desk has a single large drawer. The drawer is closed.
You open it
You open the drawer, revealing some borscht.

Guiltily, you quickly put your papakha back on.
You look at the borscht
An bowl of old, rancid borscht. Who knows how long it was in that drawer?
You take the borscht
Taken.
You take it
You already have that.
You eat the borscht
The borscht has really gone bad. There's no way you're going to even taste it.
Smell borscht
It smells terrible.
You look at the desk
A fine wooden desk, carved out of solid wood, no doubt by an oppressed worker. Luckily his work was turned to good use when the Committee liberated this desk from the basement of a nearby office building where it was wasting away as an example of capitalist decadence.

The desk has a single large drawer. The drawer is open. It contains nothing.
You look around
In future generations, this building may well be a museum, for this is where the People's Committee for the Revolution made their glorious plans to liberate all who are oppressed! The red light that illuminates the room might cause eye strain and make it hard to work, but it is truly inspiring.
You can exit the headquarters to the west (how appropriate!) and a staircase leads downwards to the lab.

A giant workers' flag hangs on the back wall, filling your heart with Revolutionary Pride.

Underneath the flag sits the committee's desk, upon which all Revolutionary Managerial Work is accomplished, drawer opened.
You examine the light
A red light. It makes it a little difficult to read or write, but the Revolutionary Ambiance it provides is worth it.
You take the flag
Taken.
You go downwards
This room is filled with all sorts of machines and inventions for the betterment of the lives of the proletariat.
The only exit is up the stairs back to the rest of the Headquarters.

Comrade Semenov sits at his workbench, hunched over an undoubtedly miraculous device.

You can also see Semenov's workbench (on which are the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II, the Communistic Converter and some sleeping serum) here.
You look at Semenov
Comrade Semenov is a diligent worker, his life devoted to science. He is currently fiddling intently with the circuit board of his latest creation, his eyes hidden behind his impenetrably thick glasses.
You look at the mk
The Ventriloquator is a long plastic tube that widens at one end into a curved speaker.
You examine the device
Which do you mean, the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II, the Communistic Converter or the miraculous device?
Miraculous
The device is currently in many small pieces. That, along with the fact that you have little to no knowledge of electronics, means you have no idea what it is or what it does.

The miraculous device is currently switched off.
You look at Converter
The Communistic Converter is a rather small cylinder with some nasty looking spikes coming out of one end.
You take it
Taken.

"That's the Communistic Converter, Commissar," Semenov says. "It's a very powerful piece of technology. Put it on someone and it will inject pure Revolutionary Spirit into them, instantly converting them to our side. Be very careful with it though, it can only be used once."
You ask the Comrade about the miraculous device
"What's that you're working on now, Comrade Semenov?" you ask.
"This is going to be the greatest piece of Revolutionary Technology known to man, Commissar! It's so exciting I can't find ample words to describe it," Semenov jabbers as he pokes at the device with even more excitement.
You take Ventriloquator
Taken.

"The Marxist Ventriloquator mark II is an amazing device," Semenov says. "Simply point it at a person or object and he, she or it will be forced to shout out a glorious Marxist quote!"
You take the serum
Taken.

"That's a super-potent (but safe and nonaddictive!) sleeping serum, Commissar," Semenov says. "I invented it so that a Revolutionary can get the sleep he or she needs in order to function for a full day's worth of Revolutionary Work. It tastes pretty bad by itself, though. You should probably put it into a food or drink if you want to have some."
Point ventriloquator at Semenov
You point the Ventriloquator at Comrade Semenov.
Comrade Semenov suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Workers of the world, unite!"
"I'm trying to work here, Commissar," Semenov frowns.
Point Ventriloquator at yourself
You point the Ventriloquator at yourself.
You suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read!"
You ask the Comrade about the parts
"What do you need for me to get for you?" you ask.
Semenov glances at the parts strewn across his workbench. "I think that all I need to finish the device is a computer's motherboard, Commissar."
Point ventriloquator at flag
You point the Ventriloquator at the workers' flag.
The workers' flag suddenly acquires a voice. "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception!" it shouts.
You ask the Comrade about the motherboard
"Tell me about the motherboard you need, Comrade Semenov," you say. "It's fairly simple," Semenov says, "I just need a regular motherboard like you can find in any computer."
You ask Comrade about himself
"How are you doing, Comrade Semenov?" you ask.
"I'm fine, Commissar," Semenov says. "Right now I'm excited to finish this device."
Look around
This room is filled with all sorts of machines and inventions for the betterment of the lives of the proletariat.
The only exit is up the stairs back to the rest of the Headquarters.

Comrade Semenov sits at his workbench, hunched over an undoubtedly miraculous device.

You can also see Semenov's workbench here.
You look at the workbench
The workbench is cluttered with all manner of half-assembled gizmos, assorted electronic parts, tools and incomprehensible blueprints.
You ask the Comrade about Revolution
"Tell me, Comrade, how do you feel about the Revolution?" you ask. Semenov looks at you, smiling. "I'm ready for the Revolution to arrive as soon as possible, Commissar. I can't wait for the day when I can turn science to peaceful ends for the good of the proletariat."
You ask the Comrade about yourself
"What do you think of me as a Commissar, Comrade Semenov?" you ask. Semenov looks up at you seriously. "I think you're quite capable, and I'm glad to be working alongside you to bring about the Revolution," he says.
You ascend
In future generations, this building may well be a museum, for this is where the People's Committee for the Revolution made their glorious plans to liberate all who are oppressed! The red light that illuminates the room might cause eye strain and make it hard to work, but it is truly inspiring.
You can exit the headquarters to the west and a staircase leads downwards to the lab.

The committee's desk sits against the back wall, drawer opened.
You go west
Jetski grins a dopey grin at you.

You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.

Comrade Jetski is here, reading a comic book.
Examine comic
The comic colorfully details the adventures of Captain Freedom as he fights the Red Menace. What garbage.
Point ventriloquator at Jetski
You point the Ventriloquator at Comrade Jetski.
Comrade Jetski suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Workers of the world, unite!"
Jetski grins stupidly.
Point ventriloquator at comic
You point the Ventriloquator at the comic.
The comic suddenly acquires a voice. "Religion is the opium of the masses!" it shouts.
You examine Jetski
Jetski may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. Luckily he seems to have a ridiculous amount of blind luck, avoiding both injury and arrest despite how out of his league the missions he usually attempts tend to be.
You ask Jetski about Revolution
"Comrade Jetski, how do you feel about the Revolution?" you ask. Jetski grins a dopey smile at you. "I tell ya, Commissar, I just can't wait!"
You take the comic
That seems to belong to Comrade Jetski.
You ask Jetski for comic
"I need to requisition that comic book, Comrade Jetski," you say.
"But Commissar," Jetski whines, "I'll get bored and fall asleep and then I can't guard the HQ! You can have it but first I need something else to keep me from getting bored..."
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a workers' flag
some borscht
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
You give the borscht to Jetski
"Are you hungry, Comrade Jetski?" you ask. "Would you like this borscht I found in the desk drawer?"
"Oh hey, that's where that went!" Jetski says, slapping himself in the forehead. "Sure thing, Commissar, I'm pretty hungry." He grabs the borscht and gobbles it down, then lets out a hearty Revolutionary Belch. "Wow, that's even better when it's a few days old," he says. "I'm full of energy now, no chance of getting bored. Here, you can take the comic book I was reading."
You take the comic
You already have that.
You give the flag to Jetski
"Oh that's cool, Commissar!" Jetski grins.
You describe your surroundings
You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.

Comrade Jetski is here, reading a comic book.
Go north
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

You can see a flagpole (on which is an American flag) here.

A construction worker walks past and salutes the flag.
You examine the flag
(the workers' flag)
A glorious red flag emblazoned with a yellow hammer and sickle. Just looking at it swells your heart with pride and anticipation.
You examine the american flag
This flag is the hateful symbol of the largest capitalistic nation in the world!
You examine the pole
A large metal poll with a rope on it, designed to hoist up a symbol to remind those who pass by what they stand for.

On the flagpole is an American flag.
You pull pole
It is fixed in place.
You put the workers flag on the pole
You attach the flag to the line and hoist it into the air. A gust of wind catches it and it unfurls to its full length, proudly displaying the hammer and sickle. A few people nearby gaze at it in wonder, then slowly, carefully salute it.

Looks like you've won the people's hearts!

A passing mechanic looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
Look around
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

You can see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

A passing fast food worker looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
You examine List
You look over your to-do list.
steps to glorious Revolution:
(X) win hearts of proletariat
( ) win minds of proletariat
(-) win bodies of proletariat (don't do. that is disgusting.)
( ) get parts for comrade semenov
( ) ruin the good name of a major corporation
( ) cripple capitalist government infrastructure
( ) find supplies to throw a communist party!

|          Bank of Freedonia           |
|       #1 In Fixed Rate Loans! |
You examine the american flag
This flag is the hateful symbol of the largest capitalistic nation in the world!
You burn it
That would be unpatriotic.
You wear the flag
(the American flag)
You can't wear that!
You go to the north
Just being on this street makes you shiver in disgust. You're standing east of the town hall, the central seat of the local capitalist government. The city center is to the south.

A shady-looking peddler leans against an ice cream cart.
You examine peddler
A shifty-looking independent capitalist. He stands with his hands deep in his pockets, slouching and grinning as people walk by.

"Tootsie Frootsie ice cream!" shouts the peddler.
You look at the ice cream
An old Tootsie-frootsie Ice Cream cart.

In the ice cream cart are some books.
You look at the books
Buried underneath copies of The Three Little Pigs and other pornographic, bourgeoisie trash, you see a copy of The Communist Manifesto
You take Manifesto
That seems to belong to the peddler.
You ask the peddler about it
"I think I have a book about it somewhere..." mutters the peddler.
You ask peddler about Manifesto
"Tell me about The Communist Manifesto," you say.
"I'm sure you know more about it than I do, kid. It's yours for a dollar."

"Get your ice cream!" shouts the peddler.
You buy Manifesto
The peddler laughs at you. "You don't have any money. This is a capitalistic society, you know. You have to pay for things! But I tell you what," he says, scratching his chin, "I can't see that ever getting bought, so I'll trade it for another book if you want."
Point ventriloquator at peddler
You point the Ventriloquator at the peddler.
The peddler suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Religion is the opium of the masses!"
You ask the peddler about Revolution
"Would you like to join the People's Glorious Revolution?" you ask. The peddler shakes his head. "No thanks. I'm happy where I am."
You give the borscht to Jetski
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

You can see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

A passing punk rocker looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.

"Guten Tag, Commissar Karl!" shouts Jetski as he sees you.

You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.

Comrade Jetski is here, reading a comic book.

"Are you hungry, Comrade Jetski?" you ask. "Would you like this borscht I found in the desk drawer?"
"Oh hey, that's where that went!" Jetski says, slapping himself in the forehead. "Sure thing, Commissar, I'm pretty hungry." He grabs the borscht and gobbles it down, then lets out a hearty Revolutionary Belch. "Wow, that's even better when it's a few days old," he says. "I'm full of energy now, no chance of getting bored. Here, you can take the comic book I was reading."
You give the comic to the peddler
"Will this work for a trade?" you ask, offering Jetski's comic to the peddler.
"Is that an original edition of Captain Freedom vs. The Red Menace?" he says in shock, his eyes lighting up in greed.
"Maybe," you say, "What's it worth?"
"Oh, not much," he says, trying to keep his voice casual, "Really, I'm still losing out by giving you the manifesto, but I guess we can make that trade."
He snatches the comic out of your hands and tosses The Communist Manifesto at you.
"So long, sucker," he says, rushing off with his newfound treasure.
You examine Manifesto
You have this great work memorized word-for-word. Within can be found the greatest wisdom the world has yet produced.
You get the ice cream
That's hardly portable.
You eat the ice cream
(first taking the ice cream cart)
That's hardly portable.
Describe the surroundings
Just being on this street makes you shiver in disgust. You're standing east of the town hall, the central seat of the local capitalist government. The city center is to the south.
Go west
Freedonia's town hall bustles with the bureaucratic drones necessary to keep capitalism from collapsing under its unsustainable weight. There are some offices to the north, a bathroom to the south, and you can exit east to get back to the streets.
Go north
This large office is almost entirely filled with filing cabinets, no doubt containing the gathered bureaucratic detritus necessary to run a capitalistic government. The main section of the town hall is south.

A government bureaucrat sits at a desk, contributing to the continuing operation of the capitalist system.

You can also see the bureaucrat's desk (on which are an Inbox (in which are some unstamped papers), an Outbox (in which are some stamped papers) and a stamp) here.
You take the stamp
The bureaucrat stops you. "Please fill out form T36-B, 'Requisition of Government Office Supplies' before taking that."
You ask the bureaucrat about the form t36-the b.
The bureaucrat doesn't even look up. "Please fill out form F2-A, 'Request for Intercourse with Government Employee' and then I'll talk to you."
Point ventriloquator at bureaucrat
You point the Ventriloquator at the bureaucrat.
The bureaucrat suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Workers of the world, unite!"
"Please fill out form 9A-T, 'Request to Force a Government Employee to Speak' before you do that again."
Continue
You point the Ventriloquator at the bureaucrat.
The bureaucrat suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read!"
"Please fill out form 9A-T, 'Request to Force a Government Employee to Speak' before you do that again."
Point ventriloquator at stamp
You point the Ventriloquator at the stamp.
The stamp suddenly acquires a voice. "Religion is the opium of the masses!" it shouts.
You describe your surroundings
This large office is almost entirely filled with filing cabinets, no doubt containing the gathered bureaucratic detritus necessary to run a capitalistic government. The main section of the town hall is south.

A government bureaucrat sits at a desk, contributing to the continuing operation of the capitalist system.

You can also see the bureaucrat's desk (on which are an Inbox (in which are some unstamped papers), an Outbox (in which are some stamped papers) and a stamp) here.

The bureaucrat gets up, takes a form out of a filing cabinet, and moves it to an identical filing cabinet.
You examine Inbox
In the Inbox are some unstamped papers.
You examine the unstamped papers
A stack of unintelligible forms. There's a large box in the lower right corner of each, ostensibly to be stamped by a government bureaucrat.

The bureaucrat wonders aloud about when lunch is, before glancing at you balefully and getting back to work.
You examine stamped papers
A stack of unintelligible forms. Each has a large box in the lower right corner and bears a red ink stamp.
You take unstamped
The bureaucrat stops you. "Please fill out form H6-M5, 'Requisition of Unreviewed Government Forms' before taking that."
You take stamped
The bureaucrat stops you. "Please fill out form RB-5, 'Requisition of Reviewed Government Forms' before taking that."
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a Communist Manifesto
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
You look at Converter
The Communistic Converter is a rather small cylinder with some nasty looking spikes coming out of one end.

The bureaucrat takes a form out of the inbox, looks at it, then crumples it up and throws it away.
Poke bureaucrat with Converter
You stick the Converter on the back of the bureaucrat's neck.
His eyes suddenly light up with Revolutionary Fervor. "Commissar!" he shouts, standing saluting you, "What do you require of me?"
"Um...I guess you can help me out by taking all these papers and destroying them, thereby throwing the capitalist government into confusion."
"Can do, Commissar!" shouts the bureaucrat, and runs out, grabbing the papers and stamp on the way.
Look around
This large office is almost entirely filled with filing cabinets, no doubt containing the gathered bureaucratic detritus necessary to run a capitalistic government. The main section of the town hall is south.

You can see the bureaucrat's desk (on which are an Inbox (empty) and an Outbox (empty)) here.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a Communist Manifesto
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
You look at the stamp
A large rubber stamped marked "APPROVED."

The bureaucrat takes a form out of the inbox, stamps it, and places it in the outbox.
You get outbox
That's fixed in place.
You go to the south
Freedonia's town hall bustles with the bureaucratic drones necessary to keep capitalism from collapsing under its unsustainable weight. There are some offices to the north, a bathroom to the south, and you can exit east to get back to the streets.
Go south
A simple bathroom, used by the government employees to refresh themselves in various ways.
You can exit to the north.

You can see a toilet and a sink here.
You examine toilet
You have to hand it to the capitalists. They can clean a mean toilet.
You examine the sink
A white porcelain sink.

The sink is currently switched off.
Flush toilet
You flush the toilet.
You turn the sink on
You switch the sink on.
You examine the sink
A white porcelain sink.

The sink is currently switched on.
You put the american flag in the toilet
You shove the American flag into the toilet. After flushing it a few times, it gets pretty seriously stuck deep in the plumbing. Nobody will be able to use this toilet until they call a plumber.
You go south
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

You can see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.
Go west
You are standing on Goldwater Lane, one of the main streets of the city. A small pawn shop to the south is dwarfed by the massive corporate edifice that looms to the north. Freedonia Park lies to the east.
Go south
This small shop is filled with all sorts of junk and miscellany. It's a disgusting testament to the excesses of capitalism.
You can exit to the north.

The shopkeeper stands behind the counter, glancing around at all his stuff.
You ask the shopkeeper about the stuff
The shopkeeper looks at you sadly.
You use Converter on the shopkeeper
The shock might kill him!
You sell Manifesto
(to the shopkeeper)
The shopkeeper doesn't seem interested.
Point mk II at shopkeeper
You point the Ventriloquator at the shopkeeper.
The shopkeeper suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Workers of the world, unite!"
The shopkeeper looks surprised at hearing his missing voice again.
You look at the edifice
This office building is the tallest building in town, even bigger than the town hall. But that's capitalism for you.
Go north
You stand in the lobby of a massive office building. The workers here embody capitalism to its most extreme -- pointless nonphysical labor purely to increase wealth. To the north is a Bronco Coffee franchise. Its very presence seems to poison the air with its crass commercialism. To the east is an elevator nook and you can exit to the south.
You go north
The garish, decadent colors and decorations of this institution fill you with disgust. Being mid-afternoon, the building is mostly empty, but during the morning hours it is filled with the capitalist sheep seeking the dastardly psycho-stimulant that enables them to perform their meaningless drudge work. A door in the north wall leads back to the employee area and you can exit to the south.

Comrade Chambers lazes behind the counter, bored.
You examine Chambers
Comrade Chambers is your inside man. He's made the ultimate sacrifice -- exposing himself to the horrors of capitalistic work in order to help destroy the system from the inside.
You ask Chambers about Revolution
"Tell me your thoughts about the Revolution, Comrade Chambers," you say.
Chambers straightens up excitedly. "It can't come soon enough, Karl. I'm sick and tired of this mind-numbing capitalist job, and totally ready for the worker's paradise!"
You ask Chambers for coffee
(Comrade Chambers first taking coffee)
"I'm working right now, Karl," Chambers says.
You look at the coffee
You can't actually see the coffee here. It's probably in the backroom.
Go north
This is the backroom of Bronco Coffee. Amidst the miscellaneous boxes and packages, A small couch sits in the corner, on which employees are allowed to sit during their pathetically short breaks.
You can exit to the south.

A large vat sits in the corner, slowly percolating the coffee for the entire coffeehouse.

You can also see a greasy rag and some donuts here.
You examine the vat
This single vat brews the coffee for the customers. Look at this uncaring capitalism -- no custom-brewed drinks just for you, instead one draws all ones daily sustenance from the same murky puddle that's been sitting around all day.
You take the vat
That's fixed in place.

From the front, you hear someone order a drink. The vat gurgles, pumping the coffee through a large pipe to deliver it to the discerning customer.
You examine the donuts
A box containing dozens of donuts.
You put the donuts in the vat
I don't think that would improve the flavor.

From the front, you hear someone order a drink. The vat gurgles, pumping the coffee through a large pipe to deliver it to the discerning customer.
You put serum in the Coffee
You pour a significant amount of the serum into the vat. It's quickly mixed into the coffee.

From the front, you hear someone order a drink. The vat gurgles, pumping the coffee through a large pipe to deliver it to the discerning customer. A few minutes pass, then the customer starts shouting.
"This coffee is only making me more tired, not awake! I didn't order decaf! You can be sure I'll tell everyone I know not to come here."

Well, looks like you ruined the reputation of a major capitalist chain.
You read List
You look over your to-do list.
steps to glorious Revolution:
(X) win hearts of proletariat
( ) win minds of proletariat
(-) win bodies of proletariat (don't do. that is disgusting.)
( ) get parts for comrade semenov
(X) ruin the good name of a major corporation
( ) cripple capitalist government infrastructure
( ) find supplies to throw a communist party!

|          Bank of Freedonia           |
|       #1 In Fixed Rate Loans! |
You give the donuts to Chambers
"That's interesting, Karl, but you'd better hold onto that," Chambers says.
You go south
You stand in the lobby of a massive office building. The workers here embody capitalism to its most extreme -- pointless nonphysical labor purely to increase wealth. To the north is a Bronco Coffee franchise. Its very presence seems to poison the air with its crass commercialism. To the east is an elevator nook and you can exit to the south.
Go east
This is a small elevator nook. They've installed a security card system since you were last here.
Considering that the last time you were here you stole a desk from the basement, that isn't very surprising.
Since the elevators are apparently inaccessible, your only exit is to the west.
You look at the system
It looks complicated.
You go to the east
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

You can see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

A passing doctor looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
You go north
Just being on this street makes you shiver in disgust. You're standing east of the town hall, the central seat of the local capitalist government. The city center is to the south.
Go west
Freedonia's town hall bustles with the bureaucratic drones necessary to keep capitalism from collapsing under its unsustainable weight. There are some offices to the north, a bathroom to the south, and you can exit east to get back to the streets.
You give the donuts to the bureaucrat
The bureaucrat rejects your offering. "Please fill out form 37-B, 'Request to Bribe a Government Employee' before you try that."
You eat the donut
You're not hungry. Plus, the donuts look kind of stale anyway.

The bureaucrat takes a form out of the inbox, looks at it, then files it in one of the many identical filing cabinets lining the room.
You put the donuts on the desk
You put the donuts on the bureaucrat's desk.
You wait for a while
Time passes.
You go north
This large office is almost entirely filled with filing cabinets, no doubt containing the gathered bureaucratic detritus necessary to run a capitalistic government. The main section of the town hall is south.

A government bureaucrat sits at a desk, contributing to the continuing operation of the capitalist system.

You can also see the bureaucrat's desk (on which are some donuts, an Inbox (in which are some unstamped papers), an Outbox (in which are some stamped papers) and a stamp) here.

The bureaucrat takes a form out of the inbox, stamps it, and places it in the outbox.
Burn papers
Which do you mean, the unstamped papers or the stamped papers?
Unstamped
This dangerous act would achieve little.

The bureaucrat gets up, takes a form out of a filing cabinet, and moves it to an identical filing cabinet.
You put the donuts in Inbox
(first taking the donuts)

You put the donuts into the Inbox.
You wait
Time passes.

The bureaucrat wonders aloud about when lunch is, before glancing at you balefully and getting back to work.
You take the donuts
Taken.

The bureaucrat takes a form out of the inbox, looks at it, then crumples it up and throws it away.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
some donuts
a Communist Manifesto
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)

The bureaucrat takes a form out of the inbox, stamps it, and places it in the outbox.
Go east
McCarthy Boulevard stretches through Freedonia. To the north is J. Edgar Hoover High School and directly across the street to the south is Rand's Liquors. The city center is to the west.
You go south
Rand's Liquors is the main provider of alcoholic beverages in Freedonia.
You can exit to the north.

Thousands of varieties of bottles of every color imaginable sit upon the shelves.

The clerk leans on the counter, bored.
You examine clerk
The clerk looks absolutely bored and miserable. A sad victim of the meaningless capitalistic "service economy"!
You ask the clerk about Revolution
"Would you like to join the People's Glorious Revolution?" you ask. "Revolution?" the clerk looks at you, confused. "Isn't that the new dance club they're opening this fall?"
You tell the clerk about Revolution
"The Revolution is going to be wonderful," you explain. "There will be no more bosses, no more unjust wages, everyone will work for themselves!"
"Sounds great," agrees the clerk. "Lemme know when it happens and I'll be the first one there."
You look at the bottles
The many bottles of alcohol smile benevolently at you from the shelves.
A particular bottle of Russian vodka catches your interest.

In the shelves is a bottle of vodka.
You look at the vodka
A bottle of true Revolutionary Spirits: Perestroika brand authentic Russian wodka, fuel of the Revolution!
You take the vodka
You grab the vodka. The perfect thing for a Communist Party!
You go to the north
"Slow down there," says the clerk, pointing at the vodka bottle, "You gotta pay for that."
You buy the bottle
"Put it on the counter," says the clerk.
You put the bottle on the counter
The clerk looks over at the vodka, sighs and straightens up. "That'll be $20, please."
You go north
McCarthy Boulevard stretches through Freedonia. To the north is J. Edgar Hoover High School and directly across the street to the south is Rand's Liquors. The city center is to the west.
You go to the north
J. Edgar Hoover High School
The J. Edgar Hoover High School is the premier capitalist youth brainwashing facility in Freedonia. The main thoroughfare of the school stretches to the north. To the west you see the school offices, and to the east lies a dusty, forgotten corridor. To the south, you can exit back to (relative) sanity.
Go east
Judging by the layer of dust on the floor of this hallway, it is mostly unused. Which is odd, considering the fact that you can hear a monotone voice droning steadily through the door to the north, marked "Economics." There is also a small closet to the south. To the west lies the main hall.
Go south
This cramped closet is entirely empty except for Comrade Rosalia and a large cardboard box.
You can exit to the north.

Comrade Rosalia is looking through a box filled with copies of The Communist Manifesto.
You look at rosalia
Comrade Rosalia's harsh features and fierce eyes help to emphasize the burning passion she feels for the Revolution. All people are equal, of course, but you can't help but feel that Rosalia is the only comrade of yours who is actually your equal in both intelligence and activism.
You ask Rosalia about Revolution
"Tell me your thoughts about the Revolution, Comrade Rosalia," you say.
Rosalia looks at you, positively glowing. "Commissar, I can't help but feel that victory is close at hand! I can barely stand the wait."
You ask Rosalia about Manifesto
"What's your status with the books?" you ask Rosalia.
"Well, Commissar, right now I'm trying to slip copies of The Communist Manifesto to those poor students being brainwashed by capitalistic propaganda in the classroom just outside this closet."
"Wonderful!" you exclaim. "How's it going?"
"Well, Commissar," Rosalia frowns thoughtfully, "Turns out I'm one book short. It just wouldn't be right to give all but one of the students copies. That's not equal at all!"
You give the book to Rosalia
Rosalia's eyes light up. "Thanks, Commissar! This is perfect!"
She puts it reverently in the box with the others, then takes the box outside. A few seconds pass by, then she comes back in looking dejected.
"Well, Commissar, I gave them the books. But they're all too apathetic to read them!" She shakes her head. "What a terrible society, churning out students too filled with ennui to even glance at Marx's grand ideas."
You go north
This classroom is one of the most depressing (and grey) places you've ever seen. The dilapidated desks and out-of date facilities look more than ten years older than the students using them. Dust and cobwebs have settled on every available surface, including in some cases its human inhabitants.
The exit is south.

An elderly teacher stands in front of his bored students, droning on about nothing in particular.

You can also see some students here.
You examine the students
The students slump in their seats, bored. Some of them are asleep, small puddles of drool pooling on their desks. They each have a copy of The Communist Manifesto on their desk, but none of them seem to have noticed it.
Point ventriloquator at teacher
You point the Ventriloquator at the teacher.
The teacher suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Capital is dead labor!"
The students wake up when they hear the Revolutionary Message. Looking down at their desks they notice the copies of The Communist Manifesto. They quickly read it, then look at each other with Revolutionary Fervor and run out the door.

Looks like you've won the minds of the people!
You look at List
You look over your to-do list.
steps to glorious Revolution:
(X) win hearts of proletariat
(X) win minds of proletariat
(-) win bodies of proletariat (don't do. that is disgusting.)
( ) get parts for comrade semenov
(X) ruin the good name of a major corporation
( ) cripple capitalist government infrastructure
( ) find supplies to throw a communist party!

|          Bank of Freedonia           |
|       #1 In Fixed Rate Loans! |
You look around
This classroom is one of the most depressing (and grey) places you've ever seen. The dilapidated desks and out-of date facilities look more than ten years older than the students using them. Dust and cobwebs have settled on every available surface, including in some cases its human inhabitants.
The exit is south.

An elderly teacher stands in front of an empty classroom, droning on about nothing in particular.
You look at the teacher
This man is the spitting image of a capitalistic "intellectual" (if such a thing can exist!). His unfashionable suit covers his ample stomach, no doubt filled to bursting with the free thought of his brainwashed students (symbolically, of course).
Go south
Judging by the layer of dust on the floor of this hallway, it is mostly unused. Which is odd, considering the fact that you can hear a monotone voice droning steadily through the door to the north, marked "Economics." There is also a small closet to the south. To the west lies the main hall.
Go west
J. Edgar Hoover High School
The J. Edgar Hoover High School is the premier capitalist youth brainwashing facility in Freedonia. The main thoroughfare of the school stretches to the north. To the west you see the school offices, and to the east lies a dusty, forgotten corridor. To the south, you can exit back to (relative) sanity.
You go to the west
A large desk blocks you from entering the offices of the school administrators, but a door leads back east to the main hallway. A placard on the front of the desk reads "Ms. Daisy," and a small card placed on the desk reads "Out to Lunch."

A computer sitting on the desk hums quietly to the office.

A security guard stands here, looking at you nastily.

On the desk are a placard and a card.
You look at the placard
A placard that reads "Ms. Daisy."
You examine the card
A small card that reads "Out to Lunch."
You give the donuts to the guard
"Hungry?" you ask, offering the donuts to the security guard.
He eyes them hungrily, then grabs one of them and gobbles it down. "T'anks," he says, crumbs flying out of his capitalist-piggish mouth.

The guard mumbles something about his lunch break.
You take the computer
That's hardly portable.
You open the computer
"Keep your hands off that!" snarls the guard.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
some donuts
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
You put the serum on the donuts
You drip a few drops of the sleeping serum onto the donuts.
You give the donuts to the guard
"Hungry?" you ask, offering the donuts to the security guard.
He eyes them hungrily, then grabs one of them and gobbles it down. "T'anks," he says, crumbs flying out of his capitalist-piggish mouth.

The guard rubs his eyes.
Wait
Time passes.

The guard yawns.
Wait
Time passes.

The guard closes his eyes for a few seconds, then opens them reluctantly.

Suddenly, the guard slumps over and starts snoring.
You open the computer
You open the computer, revealing a motherboard.
Look around
A large desk blocks you from entering the offices of the school administrators, but a door leads back east to the main hallway. A placard on the front of the desk reads "Ms. Daisy," and a small card placed on the desk reads "Out to Lunch."

A computer sits open on the desk, revealing its technological innards.

A security guard stands here, asleep.

On the desk are a placard and a card.
You search guard
It's hard to search a conscious person.
You get all
placard: The glue that binds this placard to the desk is as strong as bond between all who believe in the Revolution! It's unbreakable! This "Ms. Daisy" is apparently expected to remain a part of this vile institution for all eternity.
card: Taken.
You examine the card
A small card that reads "Out to Lunch."

The guard snores.
You go to the east
J. Edgar Hoover High School
The J. Edgar Hoover High School is the premier capitalist youth brainwashing facility in Freedonia. The main thoroughfare of the school stretches to the north. To the west you see the school offices, and to the east lies a dusty, forgotten corridor. To the south, you can exit back to (relative) sanity.
Go north
A security guard steps out of the shadows and places a hand on your shoulder. "You're going to need a visitor's pass, friend," he says, pushing you back towards the door and vanishing just as he appeared.
You go to the west
A large desk blocks you from entering the offices of the school administrators, but a door leads back east to the main hallway. A placard on the front of the desk reads "Ms. Daisy."

A computer sits open on the desk, revealing its technological innards.

A security guard stands here, asleep.

On the desk is a placard.
You look at the desk
The desk is perfectly spotless. A computer sits open on the desk, revealing its technological innards.

On the desk is a placard.

The guard snores.
Kiss guard
Keep your mind on the Revolution.
You go to the south
Jetski grins a dopey grin at you.

You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.

Comrade Jetski is here, smiling vacantly at you.
You put the card on the desk
You put the "Out to Lunch" card on the desk.
"Lunch time already?" yawns the bureaucrat, getting up and leaving. For some reason, he takes his stamp with him. That's kind of weird.
You take all from Inbox
The capitalists will be waiting for these forms to be approved for quite a long time, causing their work to grind to a halt!
You take all from Outbox
The capitalists will have a hard time getting things done with all these approved forms missing.

You think you've caused enough chaos in the town hall to disrupt the government, at least for awhile.
You go to the south
As he sees you, Comrade Jetski throws up a salute, wincing as he accidentally hits himself in the forehead.

You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.

Comrade Jetski is here, smiling vacantly at you.
You go to the east
In future generations, this building may well be a museum, for this is where the People's Committee for the Revolution made their glorious plans to liberate all who are oppressed! The red light that illuminates the room might cause eye strain and make it hard to work, but it is truly inspiring.
You can exit the headquarters to the west and a staircase leads downwards to the lab.

The committee's desk sits against the back wall, drawer opened.
Go downward
This room is filled with all sorts of machines and inventions for the betterment of the lives of the proletariat.
The only exit is up the stairs back to the rest of the Headquarters.

Comrade Semenov sits at his workbench, hunched over an undoubtedly miraculous device.

You can also see Semenov's workbench here.
You give motherboard to Semenov
You offer the motherboard to Semenov. "Is this what you need?"
He grabs it excitedly. "This is exactly it, Commissar! Now I'll be able to finish the device. Oh Commissar, this is wonderful!"
You look at List
You look over your to-do list.
steps to glorious Revolution:
(X) win hearts of proletariat
(X) win minds of proletariat
(-) win bodies of proletariat (don't do. that is disgusting.)
(X) get parts for comrade semenov
(X) ruin the good name of a major corporation
(X) cripple capitalist government infrastructure
( ) find supplies to throw a communist party!

|          Bank of Freedonia           |
|       #1 In Fixed Rate Loans! |
Inventory
You are carrying:
some stamped papers
some unstamped papers
some donuts
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
You read Bracelet
A small bracelet with the words "What Would Trotsky Do?" as a reminder to always do the Revolutionary Thing.
Xyzzy
You idly wish that these was some kind of Revolutionary Magic Word you could say to instantly transform the world into the Worker's Paradise, but that's ridiculous. Only science can do that.
You look at the device
Which do you mean, the miraculous device, the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II or the Communistic Converter?
You look at miraculous
The device is currently in many small pieces. That, along with the fact that you have little to no knowledge of electronics, means you have no idea what it is or what it does.

The miraculous device is currently switched off.
You ask Semenov about miraculous advice
"Have you found words to describe the greatness of your new invention?" you ask Semenov.
He shakes his head. "Sadly, Commissar, I am again flustered just thinking about it."
You go to the north
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

You can see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

A passing punk rocker looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
You sell Bracelet
(to the shopkeeper)
The shopkeeper takes the bracelet and hands you a dollar.

(You can't help but feel a little dirty that you just resorted to capitalism.)
You sell papakha
(to the shopkeeper)
(first taking your papakha off)
You swore a solemn vow not to remove the papakha from your head until the Revolution is achieved!
Well, on the other hand, your hair is getting really greasy and itchy. It probably wouldn't hurt to take your hat off for a minute or two.

The shopkeeper doesn't seem interested.
You look around
This small shop is filled with all sorts of junk and miscellany. It's a disgusting testament to the excesses of capitalism.
You can exit to the north.

The shopkeeper stands behind the counter, glancing around at all his stuff.

Guiltily, you quickly put your papakha back on.
You put the card in the system
(first taking the security card system)

That's hardly portable.
Point MK at system
You point the Ventriloquator at the security card system.
The security card system suddenly acquires a voice. "Religion is the opium of the masses!" it shouts.
You ask Chambers about the elevator
Chambers shrugs.
You go north
This is the backroom of Bronco Coffee. Amidst the miscellaneous boxes and packages, A small couch sits in the corner, on which employees are allowed to sit during their pathetically short breaks.
You can exit to the south.

A large vat sits in the corner, slowly percolating the coffee for the entire coffeehouse.

You can also see a greasy rag here.
You look at the rag
A disgusting rag, covered in grease and grime.
You look at the couch
An old, ratty couch. Bronco Coffee clearly cares little for their employees' comfort. But you didn't expect otherwise.
You go south
The garish, decadent colors and decorations of this institution fill you with disgust. Being mid-afternoon, the building is mostly empty, but during the morning hours it is filled with the capitalist sheep seeking the dastardly psycho-stimulant that enables them to perform their meaningless drudge work. A door in the north wall leads back to the employee area and you can exit to the south.

Comrade Chambers lazes behind the counter, bored.
Search chambers
It's hard to search a conscious person.
You ask Chambers about the security
Chambers shrugs.
Smell rag
The whole room smells delicious, like fresh coffee beans. You're positive it's some sort of air freshener, because you doubt there's many fresh coffee beans here.
You ask Jetski about Bank
Jetski scratches his head and shrugs.
Sing
Your singing is abominable.
You go west
A large desk blocks you from entering the offices of the school administrators, but a door leads back east to the main hallway. A placard on the front of the desk reads "Ms. Daisy."

A computer sits open on the desk, revealing its technological innards.

A security guard stands here, asleep.

On the desk is a placard.

The guard snores.
You search guard
It's hard to search a conscious person.

The guard snores.
You move the desk
It is fixed in place.
Go south
This cramped closet is entirely empty except for Comrade Rosalia.
You can exit to the north.

Comrade Rosalia is standing here looking worried.

Rosalia smiles as you enter. "That's why you're Commissar, Commissar," she says, "You're brilliant! Those newly liberated students are sure to be a great asset to the Revolution."
"Yes," you say, "Hopefully they won't just decide to side with cushy intellectual socialism though."
"Well Commissar, there are some things nobody can control," Rosalia sighs. "I'll meet you back at Revolutionary HQ later."
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a greasy rag
some stamped papers
some unstamped papers
some donuts
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
Look around
This cramped closet is entirely empty.
You can exit to the north.
You look at the desks
The furniture here looks to be several decades old, though it's in fairly good condition.
You take the desks
That's hardly portable.
You wake guard
That seems unnecessary.
Go south
Rand's Liquors is the main provider of alcoholic beverages in Freedonia.
You can exit to the north.

Thousands of varieties of bottles of every color imaginable sit upon the shelves.

On the counter is a bottle of vodka.

The clerk is standing with an irritated look on his face, waiting for you to pay for the vodka.
Doff papakha
You swore a solemn vow not to remove the papakha from your head until the Revolution is achieved!
Well, on the other hand, your hair is getting really greasy and itchy. It probably wouldn't hurt to take your hat off for a minute or two.
You put the vodka in the hat
(first taking the bottle of vodka)

You grab the vodka. The perfect thing for a Communist Party!

You put the bottle of vodka into your papakha.
You wear the hat
You put on your papakha.
You take the vodka
You grab the vodka. The perfect thing for a Communist Party!

You hear a loud commotion coming from the direction of Freedonia Park.

Ah, vodka liberated from the capitalists!
You get the vodka
[Your score has just gone up by one point.]

You already have that.
Go south
McCarthy Boulevard stretches through Freedonia. To the north is J. Edgar Hoover High School and directly across the street to the south is Rand's Liquors. The city center is to the west.

Guiltily, you quickly put your papakha back on.
Go west
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

A growing crowd sings Revolutionary Anthems and celebrates the coming Revolution.

You can also see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

You are astounded at the huge crowd that has gathered in the park. They stand in a circle around the flag, celebrating and singing glorious inspirational Revolutionary Songs. Your heart swells with joy. Is this it? Has the Revolution truly begun?
Space
Your happiness deflates immediately, however, as Rosalia runs up to you, panic in her eyes.
"Commissar!" she shouts, "Come quick! Something terrible's happened! The HQ has been attacked by reactionary scum!"
The very word chills you to your core. Reactionaries. In your sanctum. Impossible.
Rosalia heads towards the HQ, leaving you in shock.
You go south
You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.
Go east
The room has been trashed! The desk has been overturned and papers are scattered everywhere. A giant green dollar sign has been spray painted on the wall.

The committee's desk lies flung against the wall, overturned, drawer opened.
You go downwards
You almost run into Rosalia as you enter. She's standing at the bottom of the stairs in utter shock, and you can see why. The destruction upstairs is nothing compared to here. The laboratory is barely recognizable anymore. All the instruments and documents of technology and progress have been destroyed and scattered. From a nearby pile of junk, you hear a groan. You and Rosalia rush over and quickly clear away the trash, revealing the battered form of Comrade Semenov. "Commissar..." he groans, "It was Chambers! He...he sold us out to
the capitalists."
"That bastard!" you shout, clenching your fist, "We've got to..." "C-Commissar!" Semenov coughs, "It's worse than that! They...they
took my device! I had just f-finished it, and now...without it, I...I don't know...if the Revolution is possible." Semenov sighs and closes his eyes.
"Don't worry about that, Semenov," you say softly, as you stand up. "I'll get it back. Comrade Rosalia, you stay here and take care of Semenov. I'm going to track down 'Comrade' Chambers, and teach him that those who make peaceful Revolution impossible, MAKE VIOLENT REVOLUTION INEVITABLE!"
Space
The laboratory is completely trashed! Semenov's tools and plans are scattered all over the room in complete disarray. From the looks of it, it seems the reactionaries also destroyed several of his devices. The only exit is up the stairs back to the rest of the Headquarters.

Comrade Rosalia is crouching next to Semenov, cleaning his wounds.

Semenov lies amidst the junk, unconscious.

You can also see Semenov's workbench here.
You ask Rosalia about Revolution
"Tell me your thoughts about the Revolution, Comrade Rosalia," you say.
Rosalia looks at you, worried. "Commissar, I can't help but feel that victory is uncertain, now."
You put the rag in the vodka
You stick the greasy rag into the wodka bottle, creating a molotov cocktail.
Go upwards
As you reach the top of the stairs, you are almost knocked off your feet by Comrade Jetski.
"Commissar! Commissar! I'm so sorry! I couldn't take them all, they picked me up and threw me in a dumpster!"
"Don't worry about it, Jetski," you say, shaking your head. "Against the crushing force of capitalism, what can one man do?"
"That's just it, Commissar! I did do something! I followed 'em back
to their home base! They went way up north past the Town Hall, and went into this big mansion! But there were two guards at the door so I didn't try to go in just in case I got caught. I thought it was more important that I told you first."
"You thought right, Jetski," you say. "Stay here and help Rosalia
take care of Semenov. I'll take a look at this mansion."
Revolutionary Headquarters
The room has been trashed! The desk has been overturned and papers are scattered everywhere. A giant green dollar sign has been spray painted on the wall.

The committee's desk lies flung against the wall, overturned, drawer opened.
Go west
You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.
Go north
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

A growing crowd sings Revolutionary Anthems and celebrates the coming Revolution, unaware of how delicately it hangs in the balance.

You can also see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.
You go to the north
Just being on this street makes you shiver in disgust. You're standing east of the town hall, the central seat of the local capitalist government. The city center is to the south, and according to Jetski, a large mansion is north.
You examine crowd
This large crowd, comprising all sorts of people, is standing around the red flag, singing, celebrating, and growing larger by the minute!
You go north
You stand before the gates of an enormous mansion. Many would find the dark colors, stark architecture and enormous size intimidating, but you just find it a disgusting testament to inequality.
The mansion is to the north, and you can return to the city to the south.

A pair of jackbooted reactionary thugs guard the gates.

One guard turns to the other. "What're we supposed to watch out for again?"
"Revolutionaries, idiot," says the other, rolling his eyes.
"What's that?" asks the first one.
"Obviously they're a kind of political group dedicated to the overthrow of the government and establishment of a communist state," sighs the second guard.
You look at the guards
A pair of muscly, brainwashed (and braindead) reactionary enforcers, the use of their force no doubt purchased by the owner of this mansion, and likely for a sum that would embarrass them if they had any sense of pride.

One of the thugs yawns.
You examine the thugs
A pair of muscly, brainwashed (and braindead) reactionary enforcers, the use of their force no doubt purchased by the owner of this mansion, and likely for a sum that would embarrass them if they had any sense of pride.

One guard turns to the other. "What're we supposed to watch out for again?"
"Revolutionaries, idiot," says the other, rolling his eyes.
"What's that?" asks the first one.
"Obviously they're a kind of monster," sighs the second guard.
You ask the thugs about Revolution
You don't want to draw attention to yourself.

One of the thugs scratches himself.
You examine the mansion
An enormous gothic mansion, taunting you with its decadence and grandiosity.

One guard turns to the other. "What're we supposed to watch out for again?"
"Revolutionaries, idiot," says the other, rolling his eyes.
"What's that?" asks the first one.
"Obviously they're a kind of political group dedicated to the overthrow of the government and establishment of a communist state," sighs the second guard.
Point mk ii at guard
You point the Ventriloquator at one of the guards. He swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know!"
"What'd you just say?" snaps the other thug.
"I didn't say nothin'," says your target, "But what was that crap you were just spoutin'? Didn't sound very loyal to the good old US of A!" "Oh don't you try to blame your treason on me," shouts the other guard, lunging at the speaker. Soon the guards are tangled in a massive fight and are completely ignoring the gate.

One of the guards punches the other in the eye.
Go north
An enormous, grand foyer. Marble floor, chandelier, the works. It's strangely empty and quiet, so much so that it would make you feel very small, if you weren't so full of Revolutionary Spirit.
A door leads to the north and you can exit to the south.
Go north
As you step forward into the mansion, the chandelier in the ceiling suddenly comes loose and crashes down on you. This is it. Your Revolution ends here. But at least your death can serve as a metaphor: crushed to death by capitalism, just as it crushes the spirits of the...
"Oh, please, stop being so melodramatic, Karl," laughs a familiar voice. Chambers steps into your field of vision, wearing a three-piece suit and smoking a cigar.
"Chambers! Why'd you do it?" you cry in anguish.
"That's Mr. Whittaker Chambers, Esquire to you, comrade. And can't
you see? It's obvious!" he waves his hand grandly, indicating his foyer and mansion. "It's because of capitalism that I was able to buy and own all this."
"You were able to buy this with the money you made working at Bronco Coffee? That doesn't even make sense," you say.
"Of course it doesn't make sense to you, Karl," Chambers laughs, "But any capitalist knows that pure hard work and dedication can take anyone from utter poverty to outstanding wealth, and anyone who doesn't make it is just too lazy. But I'm wasting time," he sighs. "I need to get back to my workshop and figure out what Semenov's device was supposed to do. If I'm right, I think he might have just inadvertently given me the means to wipe out communism once and for all." He smirks. "Take him away, boys, you know where."
The guards drag you out of the chandelier's wreckage and take you through the mansion to a large vault door. One whispers a password to the voice scanner on the door. The door opens and the guards toss you unceremoniously in.

This is Chambers' giant vault. In the center is a large pit filled to the brim with money. The vault extends to the north, and a massive vault door stands to the east.

A diving board is bolted over the edge of the pit.
You burn money
This dangerous act would achieve little.
You examine board
A regular diving board, like you might find at any swimming pool.
You dive into the money
That might be more fun from the diving board.
You get on the board
You get onto the diving board.
You get on the board
But you're already on the diving board.
You dive into the money
You plug your nose (to cover up the stench of the currency you're about to dive into, of course) and leap into the pool. You sink through the money and fall right into a drain! Crawling through the pipes, you soon emerge near the mansion.

You stand before the gates of an enormous mansion. Many would find the dark colors, stark architecture and enormous size intimidating, but you just find it a disgusting testament to inequality.
The mansion is to the north, and you can return to the city to the south.

Two reactionaries are lying here unconscious, apparently having knocked each other out.
Go north
An enormous, grand foyer. Millions of tiny pieces of glass lie scattered across the marble floor around a wrecked chandelier.
A door leads to the north and you can exit to the south.
You examine the chandelier
The chandelier lies shattered on the floor, having fallen from the ceiling.
You take glass
You'd cut your hands.
You go north
This grand hallway stretches north to south, lined with various pieces of expensive-looking and exploitative artwork. You can hear Chambers' voice coming from the east. To the west is a vault door, and the mansion stretches to the north.
You go west
(first opening the vault door)
The vault door is sealed tight and locked with a biometric scanner requiring a voice print. These capitalists take the security of their money seriously.
You say the swordfish
(to yourself)
There is no reply.
You say the swordfish to the scanner
You can only do that to something animate.
Point ventriloquator at scanner
You point the Ventriloquator at the biometric scanner.
The biometric scanner suddenly acquires a voice. "Workers of the world, unite!" it shouts.
Go south
An enormous, grand foyer. Millions of tiny pieces of glass lie scattered across the marble floor around a wrecked chandelier.
A door leads to the north and you can exit to the south.
Go south
You stand before the gates of an enormous mansion. Many would find the dark colors, stark architecture and enormous size intimidating, but you just find it a disgusting testament to inequality.
The mansion is to the north, and you can return to the city to the south.

Two reactionaries are lying here unconscious, apparently having knocked each other out.
Search reactionaries
You look through the guards' pockets and find a twenty-dollar bill. Well, that would have been useful about half an hour ago.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a twenty dollar bill
a molotov cocktail
some stamped papers
some unstamped papers
some donuts
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
Go east
You can't help but feel enveloped in the sense of decadent comfort this study is meant to provide. Plump furniture sits scattered haphazardly around the room, surrounded by large bookshelves filled with rare tomes. If only your Revolutionary Will wasn't so strong, you think you might begin to see Chambers' point.
You can exit the study to the west.

Chambers huddles over his desk, examining Semenov's miraculous device.
You look at the desk
Chambers' desk is almost as nice as the desk you liberated for the committee's desk.
You hit Chambers
You sneak up behind Chambers and hit him in the back of the head.
He spins around, startled. "Useless brainless fools..." he mutters, then shouts "Guards! Intruder!"
Quickly, you find yourself thrown back into the vault.

This is Chambers' giant vault. In the center is a large pit filled to the brim with money. The vault extends to the north, and a massive vault door stands to the east.

A diving board is bolted over the edge of the pit.
You examine the furniture
Overstuffed couches and chairs lounge luxuriously around the room, inviting any and all to sit.
You examine the miraculous device
The device is deceptively simple. It bears only a single red button.

The miraculous device is currently switched off.
You put Converter on Chambers
You stick the Converter on the back of Chambers' neck. His eyes go wide and his mouth opens in shock. Slowly he slumps, then turns to you.
"Commissar..." he says, haltingly, "What...do you require of me?"
"The device, Comrade Chambers," you say, sternly.
Chambers looks at the device, then at you. "Of...of course, Commissar," he says, handing it to you. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to lie down."
"Of course, Chambers," you say sadly, "It's been a long day for you." Your gaze strays to the device in your hand.
You take the miraculous device
That seems to belong to Comrade Chambers.
You throw the cocktail
Dropped.
You go north
This large office is almost entirely filled with filing cabinets, no doubt containing the gathered bureaucratic detritus necessary to run a capitalistic government. The main section of the town hall is south.

You can see the bureaucrat's desk (on which are a card, an Inbox (empty) and an Outbox (empty)) here.
You open the cabinets
The thought of exposing yourself to capitalist documents sends shivers up your spine.
You examine the toilet
The toilet is clogged and overflowing.
Go south
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

A growing crowd sings Revolutionary Anthems and celebrates the coming Revolution, unaware of how delicately it hangs in the balance.

You can also see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

A passing doctor looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
You tell the clerk about Revolution
"I get the feeling you don't take the Revolution seriously," you inform the clerk.
"No, no, trust me, I'm behind you 100%," he says, rolling his eyes.
You examine the bottles
The many bottles of alcohol smile benevolently at you from the shelves.
You ask clerk about the matches
The clerk yawns and shrugs. "Don't know if we have that. Is 'matches' a kind of rum or tequila?"
You ask the clerk about rum
You're only interested in wodka. You have no reason to ask the clerk about "rum."
You ask the clerk about the wodka
"I'd like to buy some wodka," you say.
"It's $20," says the clerk.
Go west
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

A growing crowd sings Revolutionary Anthems and celebrates the coming Revolution, unaware of how delicately it hangs in the balance.

You can also see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.

A passing businessman looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
Go north
The garish, decadent colors and decorations of this institution fill you with disgust. Being mid-afternoon, the building is mostly empty, but during the morning hours it is filled with the capitalist sheep seeking the dastardly psycho-stimulant that enables them to perform their meaningless drudge work. A door in the north wall leads back to the employee area and you can exit to the south.
You go to the north
This is the backroom of Bronco Coffee. Amidst the miscellaneous boxes and packages, A small couch sits in the corner, on which employees are allowed to sit during their pathetically short breaks.
You can exit to the south.

A large vat sits in the corner, slowly percolating the coffee for the entire coffeehouse.
You examine the vat
This single vat brews the coffee for the customers. Look at this uncaring capitalism -- no custom-brewed drinks just for you, instead one draws all ones daily sustenance from the same murky puddle that's been sitting around all day.
You throw the molotov at the system
Futile.
Light molotov
Better wait until you throw it.
Point MK II at crowd
You point the Ventriloquator at the crowd.
The crowd suddenly swells up with Revolutionary Pride and shouts "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception!"

A passing fast food worker looks up at the red flag and salutes it, grinning madly.
You buy the junk
Contributing to capitalism, are we?
You show the cocktail to shopkeeper
The shopkeeper looks at the molotov cocktail, and shakes his head sadly.
No
That was a rhetorical question.
You examine Pigs
A despicable "children's" book espousing the benefits of living in wealth while your brother lives in poverty.
Go north
This wing of the vault contains various riches and luxuries that Chambers has apparently collected. The main vault is to the south.

A gold statuette of Chambers stands out among the junk.
You examine the hat
Your pride and joy, this furry hat stands atop your head as a proud testament to your commitment to the Revolution!
You get the statuette
Oof, this is apparently actually made of real gold. It's pretty hefty.

Taken.
Look around
This wing of the vault contains various riches and luxuries that Chambers has apparently collected. The main vault is to the south.
You go south
This is Chambers' giant vault. In the center is a large pit filled to the brim with money. The vault extends to the north, and a massive vault door stands to the east.

A diving board is bolted over the edge of the pit.
You examine the pit
In the center of the vault is a large pit filled with what looks like hundred-dollar bills.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a statuette
a twenty dollar bill
a molotov cocktail
some stamped papers
some unstamped papers
some donuts
an American flag
some sleeping serum
the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II
the Communistic Converter
a to-do list
your papakha (being worn)
a WWTD Bracelet (being worn)
You hit Chambers with the statuette
You raise the statuette high above you and slam it against the back of Chambers' head. He collapses like a sack of pickled herring, leaving the miraculous device yours for the taking.

Wow, that was almost too easy. Not that you're complaining.
You take the device
(the miraculous device)
Taken.
Search chambers
You look through Chambers' pockets and find a Bronco Coffee Employee Discount Card, which you take.
Go west
This grand hallway stretches north to south, lined with various pieces of expensive-looking and exploitative artwork.To the east is Chambers' study. To the west is a vault door, and the mansion stretches to the north.
Go south
An enormous, grand foyer. Millions of tiny pieces of glass lie scattered across the marble floor around a wrecked chandelier.
A door leads to the north and you can exit to the south.
You go south
Just being on this street makes you proud. You're standing east of the town hall, the central seat of the local communist government. The city center is to the south, and according to Jetski, a large mansion is north.
You go west
The town hall is currently closed while the Revolution is overturning the government.
You go south
You are standing in one of the few grassy places in Freedonia. The park is visited by a great deal of people daily due to the fact that it is in the exact center of the city. Roads lead in all four cardinal directions.

A growing crowd sings Revolutionary Anthems and celebrates the coming Revolution.

You can also see a flagpole (on which is a workers' flag) here.
Sing
Your singing is abominable.
You go south
You are standing on the street outside of the Committee's Headquarters, which are to the east. The central park of Freedonia is to the north.
You go east
You walk back into Revolutionary Headquarters and are astounded to see that it's back in pristine condition! Jetski and Rosalia support a weakly grinning Semenov as many members of the proletariat look on in joy.
"You did it, Commissar!" Semenov says.
"No," you say, pausing for dramatic effect, "We did it, Comrade." The onlookers erupt into applause, despite the utter cheesiness.
"Now it's time for a Communist party!" shouts Jetski.
You grin sheepishly. "About that...I used the wodka to make a molotov cocktail when I was attacking Chambers' mansion, so I'm afraid..."
"No problem, Commissar!" says the liquor store clerk, stepping forward with a cartful of wodka bottles.
At the end of the party, you are unanimously (and drunkenly) chosen to head the Committee in Charge of the Enlightened Guidance of Freedonia, the Worker's Paradise.
Go west
You are standing on Trotsky Lane, one of the main streets of the city. A small pawn shop to the south is dwarfed by the massive corporate edifice that looms to the north. The Worker's Plaza lies to the east.
You go north
The office building has closed down and barricaded its doors to protect against the inevitable looting that comes with any Revolution.
You turn the device off
Which do you mean, the miraculous device, the Marxist Ventriloquator Mk II or the Communistic Converter?