Mrs. Pepper's Nasty Secret
Jim Aikin
built-in hints child collaboration gender-neutral protagonist house setting IFBeginnersComp Interactive Short Fiction Competition kid-friendly magic magic-object recommended for beginners Skateboard TADS TADS 3 TADS3 source available witch
Walking home from school is mostly okay, except for one big problem: Every day you have to pass right by Mrs. Pepper's house. She may not actually be a witch, but she sure acts like one. And now she's stolen your skateboard!
%
Walking home from school is mostly okay, except for one big problem: Every day you have to pass right by Mrs. Pepper's house. She may not actually be a witch, but she sure acts like one. She's ugly and crabby, and she seems to go out of her way to cause trouble for you. The time she came at you with the garden rake, swinging it like it was a giant claw ... you still shudder when you think of it.

Last Friday was a new low. You would never, ever skateboard in her driveway -- that would be practically suicidal. But somehow when you got to the driveway your skateboard swerved, all by itself, as if somebody had put a spell on it. And then you fell off.

While you were picking grit out of the ugly scrape on your skinned elbow, Mrs. Pepper appeared out of nowhere and snatched up your skateboard! She screeched something about rowdy children, trespassing, and needing to be taught a lesson. She swung the skateboard at you like it was a bat, and then ran off with it, cackling. Afterward you rang her doorbell for what seemed like an hour, begging her to give the skateboard back, and she wouldn't even come to the door.

And now it's Monday afternoon, and here you are, on your way home from school as usual (but with no skateboard). Just up ahead is Mrs. Pepper's driveway....

Mrs. Pepper's Nasty Secret

This stretch of sidewalk runs more or less east-west between the busy street to the south and a tall, water-stained fence to the north.
Just a few yards further west the fence ends where Mrs. Pepper's driveway thrusts into the roadway. Unfortunately there's no option but to cross that driveway if you want to get home.
Inventory
You are empty-handed.
Pray
The word "pray" is not necessary in this story.

(If this was an accidental misspelling, you can correct it by typing OOPS followed by the corrected word now. Any time the story points out an unknown word, you can correct a misspelling using OOPS as your next command.)
You jump
You jump up and down a few times. It doesn't achieve anything, but the exercise can't have done you any harm.
Look around
This stretch of sidewalk runs more or less east-west between the busy street to the south and a tall, water-stained fence to the north.
Just a few yards further west the fence ends where Mrs. Pepper's driveway thrusts into the roadway. Unfortunately there's no option but to cross that driveway if you want to get home.
You climb the fence
On any other day, you might consider it. Today you have more important things on your mind.
You examine fence
The fence is tall, and made of solid vertical boards. Once they were painted white, but by now they're gray and a bit water-stained.

You don't seem to be making much progress. If you feel you could use a little help, enter the command HELP.

Bonus Tip: To move around the map use compass directions: NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, WEST, NORTHEAST etc. (which can be abbreviated to N, S, E, W, NE etc.), or UP, DOWN, IN or OUT. Try going WEST now.

[To turn these bonus tips off, use the command EXTRA OFF]
Extra off
Okay; extra hints are now off.
You go to the south
There's too much traffic for you to consider crossing the street.
Go west
You step gingerly off the sidewalk into the mouth of Mrs. Pepper's driveway. There's no way of avoiding it, but that doesn't make it any less hazardous. More than once the nasty old woman has backed her car out quite rapidly just as you were crossing, as if bent on running you over, so this step across Mrs. Pepper's driveway is the part of your daily walk home that you've most come to dread....

But today you're in luck. Her car isn't moving, and she's not in it.

You're at the outer end of Mrs. Pepper's driveway, which extends to the north alongside her house. Her old gray car is parked beside the house, and before the house is a square of sadly neglected lawn. The sidewalk runs east and west from here, and the street is to the south.
You examine the car
The car is an Oldsmobile, a boxy model that's at least 20 years old. It's slate-gray, and the rear fender droops at one side, as if perhaps Mrs. Pepper has succeeded in hitting something -- or someone -- with it.
You examine the lawn
The lawn is patchy and mostly dead, mottled with patches of bare dirt.
You enter the car
The car is too far away.
You examine the driveway
(the driveway)
The driveway runs northward along the right side of Mrs. Pepper's house. Standing in the drive next to the house is Mrs. Pepper's old gray car.
Go west
To the north, across a sadly dried-up and decrepit yard, stands Mrs. Pepper's house. You can also go east or west along the sidewalk. The busy street is to the south. A telephone pole plastered with the scraps of old posters stands here.
You examine the posters
Many are faded, many are torn, and many are both. The ones that remain legible advertise everything from last year's flower show to the merits of the Independent Candidate in some long-forgotten election. Amongst this mass of posters well past their read-by date is an advertising flyer that looks crisp and new.
You examine the advertising flyer
The flyer is crisp, new, and colorful. In big bright letters it advertises a special sale at Flogg & Grabby's Stufftown, a shopping mall that lies just half a mile down the road. If the flyer is to be believed, the sale ends this very afternoon. "INCREDIBLY LOW PRICES ON GORGEOUS LADIES' WIGS!!!" it promises.

Mrs. Pepper is not your idea of a gorgeous lady (if anything, just the opposite). But she certainly is fond of wigs. Every time you see her, it seems, her wig is a different color and style, each more outlandish and ill-fitting than the last. What they all have in common is that they look as if she bought them in a thrift shop.
You get the flyer
You pick up the advertising flyer.

(If you'd prefer not to be notified about score changes in the future, type NOTIFY OFF.)
You look at the house
Mrs. Pepper's house is two stories tall, and narrow. It hasn't been painted in a long time. A small covered porch is attached to the front, and the driveway runs along the right side. A short flight of steps leads up from the yard to the porch.
Go east
You're at the outer end of Mrs. Pepper's driveway, which extends to the north alongside her house. Her old gray car is parked beside the house, and before the house is a square of sadly neglected lawn. The sidewalk runs east and west from here, and the street is to the south.
Go north
You take a cautious step onto Mrs. Pepper's property. When nothing terrible happens, you take another, your curiosity overcoming your apprehension of the batty old woman.

The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, where an old gray car is parked, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.
You open car
The car is too far away.
You go north
Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

A trash can is standing in the driveway.

A battered old car is parked in the drive, just under an open window.
Examine can
The old, dented trash can is made of gray metal, and has a sturdy lid.
You open can
You remove the lid from the trash can.
You look at the can
The old, dented trash can is made of gray metal.
You open the car
There's nothing in the trash can.

You can't; it's locked.
You pick up can
You pick up the trash can.
You drop the trash
You set down the trash can.
You enter the trashcan
Tossing yourself into the wastebin at such a young age? You contemplate the idea for a moment, and reject it with a shudder.
You enter the car
You rattle the car's door handle, but the door is securely locked.
Smash window
Painful experience has taught you that breaking things quite often gets you into trouble.
You examine the window
The window is standing open, and doesn't appear to have a screen.
It's six or seven feet up the wall from the paved surface of the driveway.
You jump
That is not something you can climb.

You jump off the car and land back on the ground.
You go downwards
(off of the car)
Okay, you're no longer on the car.
You get the lid
You are already carrying the trash can lid.
Close can
You put the lid back on the trash can.
You go to the north
(first trying to open the garage door)
It seems to have been shut for so long that the most recent layer of paint has sealed it up.
You open the door
It seems to have been shut for so long that the most recent layer of paint has sealed it up.
Go south
The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, where an old gray car is parked, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.
Go west
The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.

As you're crossing the front yard, a momentary lull in the traffic noise allows you to hear something very odd. Weakly, somewhere in the near distance, a voice is crying, "Help me! Oh, please, help me!" The voice is high-pitched and very hoarse, as if whoever is calling for help can barely speak at all.

You stop dead in your tracks, looking around to see where the voice might be coming from. It seems to be coming from the upstairs window in Mrs. Pepper's house. You stare hard at the window, and for a moment it seems something might be moving there -- but you can't make out what it might be. After a moment the movement stops, and the voice falls silent.

Could it have been your imagination? No, you're certain you heard something. And it was coming from inside the house.
Go north
The front door lies immediately to the north; the front yard is to the south. There's a doorbell button just by the front door.
Inventory
You are carrying an advertising flyer and a trash can.
You drop can
You set down the trash can.
You take the can
You pick up the trash can.
You go south
The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.
You go east
The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, where an old gray car is parked, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.
You go to the north
Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

A battered old car is parked in the drive, just under an open window.
You wait
Precious time slips by, never to be recovered.

After a somewhat longer delay than the first time, the door flies open. Mrs. Pepper snarls at you. "Why are you bothering me? Do you want me to call the police?" The door slams again, leaving you on the outside and Mrs. Pepper on the inside.
You go south
The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.
Go north
Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

A battered old car is parked in the drive, just under an open window.

You see a trash can here.
Go northwest
The back yard is in a dreadful state. Except for a few sorry weeds, nothing grows here. Someone has dug holes of various sizes, leaving mounds of dirt and gravel everywhere. A concrete birdbath stands in the center of the yard. The back porch of the house lies directly to the south.

The driveway is off to the southeast, past the corner of the garage. The garage itself stands directly to the east.

A neighbor is working in the garden next door.
You look at the birdbath
The gray concrete birdbath is thick and ugly, and looks as if it hasn't held water for a long time. The bottom of the basin is coated with a thin layer of grime.
You examine the neighbor
She's tall and thin, and is wearing a big floppy hat of straw. She has rather a kindly look.
You look at the holes
Holes of various sizes have been dug across the lawn, seemingly at random, as if some demented fortune-seeker were desperately seeking buried treasure. The more prosaic explanation, given the state of the back yard, is that the holes are due to energetic but incompetent gardening efforts.
You examine the porch
The back porch is a plain wooden structure, with no railing or decoration. It looks as if it was tacked onto the house as an afterthought. It's several feet above the ground, with a ramp leading up to one side. The crawl space beneath it is deep in shadow.
You talk to the neighbour
"Hi," you say. "Who are you?"

"I'm Mrs. Dogwood, Mrs. Pepper's neighbor," she replies.

(You could ask her about Mr. Pepper, gardening, Mrs. Pepper's old car, herself, or Mrs. Pepper. You could also ask or tell her about various other things that might occur to you.)
You ask about Pepper
"Do you know Mrs. Pepper well?" you ask.

"As well as I want to!" Mrs. Dogwood replies. Lowering her voice, she adds in a near whisper, "I don't normally go in for tittle-tattle, but she really is the meanest.... Well, I dropped a fine gold brooch one day when I was working near the fence. At least, I don't know where else I could have dropped it. A few minutes later I'm sure I saw her arm snaking right through the fence, down near the ground. By the time I put down my shears and came to take a closer look, she was trotting into the house. I never did find that brooch. I'm sure she took it, but when I asked, quite politely, if she might have seen it or know where it could be, she got all huffy and claimed not to know what I was talking about. Swears she never saw it, she does!"
You ask about the gardening
"I was just admiring your wonderful garden," you tell Mrs. Dogwood politely.

"Why, thank you, dear!" she replies.

"It's much nicer than Mrs. Pepper's," you add.

"I don't like to speak ill of anyone," Mrs. Dogwood says piously, "but I think it's fair to say Mrs. Pepper doesn't have a green thumb."

A fat toad that you hadn't noticed before hops away under the back porch.
You take the toad
The toad is gone -- it hopped away under the porch.
You look under the porch
Deep in the shadows beneath the porch, you spy your skateboard!
You take the skateboard
It's clear back against the wall of the house. Even when you stretch your arm as far as you can, the skateboard is still at least three feet out of reach.

Mrs. Dogwood returns to her gardening.
You ask about the car
You are carrying an advertising flyer.

"Hello again," you say.

"Hi there, youngster," she replies.

"I saw Mrs. Pepper's old car in her driveway," you remark. "Is it always there?"

"If she's home, it is," Mrs. Dogwood replies promptly. "Sometimes in the afternoon she goes out driving, if there's a special sale on at the mall. You know, Flogg & Grabby's, down the road?"
You ask about the mr pepper
"What happened to Mrs. Pepper's husband," you ask.

"Such a tragic accident," the neighbor replies. "If it was an accident. I've always wondered about that. But really, I mustn't gossip."
You ask about herself
"You seem to be quite a fine gardener," you venture. "Have you lived in that house for a long time?"

"Oh, long enough," she replies vaguely. "I daresay I'm not a very interesting person."
You ask about the skateboarding toad
"Some other time, perhaps," she suggests, with a lopsided smile.
You ask about the toad
She bends over a little bush to inspect it, and then straightens up when you start to speak. "I'm sorry, dear, I didn't quite catch that. I thought I saw an aphid. Horrid things, aphids."

"Do you know anything about frogs and toads?" you ask Mrs. Dogwood.

"My goodness, what a question! Not so very much, no. I've noticed a fat old toad hopping about from time to time. I believe he lives under Mrs. Pepper's back porch. If you find him, I do hope you won't catch him in a jar or anything. That would be very cruel."
Go southeast
Mrs. Dogwood returns to her gardening.

Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

A battered old car is parked in the drive, just under an open window.

You see a trash can here.
You look at the tree
A few green leaves cling to the crooked branches of the tree, but really it looks more dead than alive. Mrs. Pepper calls it her orange tree -- in fact, one of your more memorable run-ins with her occurred when she accused you of stealing oranges from the tree. But in truth you've never seen an orange growing on the tree. The idea that it's an orange tree is purely a theory, as far as you're concerned.
You take branch
As sickly as the orange tree looks, its branches are still firmly attached to it.
Break branch
Painful experience has taught you that breaking things quite often gets you into trouble.
You climb the tree
The tree is too spindly to support your weight.
Examine flyer
The flyer is crisp, new, and colorful. In big bright letters it advertises a special sale at Flogg & Grabby's Stufftown, a shopping mall that lies just half a mile down the road. If the flyer is to be believed, the sale ends this very afternoon. "INCREDIBLY LOW PRICES ON GORGEOUS LADIES' WIGS!!!" it promises.

Mrs. Pepper is not your idea of a gorgeous lady (if anything, just the opposite). But she certainly is fond of wigs. Every time you see her, it seems, her wig is a different color and style, each more outlandish and ill-fitting than the last. What they all have in common is that they look as if she bought them in a thrift shop.
You examine the door
The door is of solid wood, except for a tiny peephole covered with a filigree of wrought iron. It's closed.
You put the flyer under door
The door is tightly fitted to its frame. There's not even a tiny gap at the bottom.
You look at the peephole
The peephole would be used by someone on the inside to see who's at the door. At the moment, it's closed.
You drop the flyer
You set down the advertising flyer.
Go south
The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.

After a brief pause, the front door opens. Mrs. Pepper ventures out on the porch, looks around to make sure no one is close enough to sneak past her into the house, and then bends to retrieve the flyer. For long seconds, she peers at it closely, holding it in both hands. Maybe it's only your imagination, but it looks as if her hands are actually trembling with desire. Then she turns on her heel and dives back into the house.

A moment later she bursts out again, a large purse over her arm.
After carefully locking the door, she strides off in the direction of the driveway. You hear her car coughing to life, and in a squeal of tires it backs down the driveway, careens into the street, reverses direction, and roars away in a cloud of blue exhaust vapors.
Go east
The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.
Go north
Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

You see a trash can here.
You throw the can
What do you want to throw it at?
At the window
The trash can hits the window without any obvious effect, and falls to the ground.
You enter window
You manage to clamber through the window -- but as you do so, you accidentally knock the lid off the can.

You glance nervously around as your feet land on the floor, but so far as you can tell the house really is empty now -- at least, you can't hear anybody about.

Compared to your parents' kitchen, Mrs. Pepper's seems, well, a bit mean and cramped, just like its owner. Most of the space is taken up by the old wooden table standing right in the middle. Beneath the lip of the table is a wide, shallow drawer. Completing the furnishings are a cupboard, a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator. The back door leads out to the north, while to the south is an open doorway, its door long since removed. The window through which you've just climbed is set in the east wall, and on the opposite side of the room a flight of steps leads down into darkness.
You examine the drawer
It's just a plain wooden drawer. It's closed.
You open the drawer
Opening the drawer reveals a small flashlight.
You get it
You can't have that; it's part of the kitchen table.
You get the torch
You pick up the small flashlight.
You examine table
It's a big square wooden table, old and scratched. Beneath one edge is a single drawer.
You look under the table
The only thing under the table is its drawer.
You open the cupboard
Opening the cabinet reveals a glass and a butter knife.
You look at the glass
It's chipped on one edge. It's currently empty.
You get all
fridge: You can't take that.
kitchen table: The kitchen table is too heavy.
glass: You pick up the glass.
butter knife: You pick up the butter knife.
You fill the glass
(from the faucet)
(first turning on the faucet, then putting the glass under it)
You hold the glass under the faucet until it fills up with water.
You open the fridge
Opening the fridge reveals a stale loaf of bread and a large wedge of blue cheese.

There's an overpowering smell of over-ripe cheese.
You examine the cheese
The cheese is runny in some spots and dried and crusty in other spots, all at the same time. Its odor is remarkable: If it gets much riper, it'll probably come when you call it. Phewww! It smells horrible.
You get the cheese and the bread
large wedge of blue cheese: You'd rather leave it where it is.
stale loaf of bread: You'd rather not touch it.
You examine the bread
It looks like one of your more successful school biology experiments -- the one where you're meant to grow a culture of mold.
You smell the cheese
Phewww! It smells horrible.
You look at the stove
The stove is not as nice as the one your family has, and not as clean either. Bits of this and that have dribbled down the front and dried there. It's closed.
You examine it
Opened.

The stove is not as nice as the one your family has, and not as clean either. Bits of this and that have dribbled down the front and dried there. It's open.
You examine the sink
The large porcelain sink is built against the east wall, near the window. A faucet is mounted above the sink.
You turn on the flashlight
You thumb the switch, but the flashlight fails to turn on.
You open the flashlight
Opened.
You examine the flashlight
The flashlight is slim, and about four inches long. There's a switch on one side, and an opening in the end through which a battery can be inserted. It's open.
You go south
This hall is little more than a narrow passage connecting the rooms to north and south. On the east side a flight of stairs leads up to the floor above, and there's an opening to the west, with a black button next to it at waist height.
Examine button
It's an ordinary black button, set in a little brass plate.
Go upwards
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is closed.
You go north
This small, square room is furnished in a plain, unattractive style. Opposite the bed stands a dressing table, on which is a row of styrofoam heads. Arranged on the heads are some rather ugly wigs.
The way out is to the south, and there's a bathroom to the east.
You examine the wigs
green wig: The green wig is a mass of greasy green ringlets. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: TGPXH XKHHW.

auburn wig: The auburn wig is short and balloon-shaped. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: ZGBH YAHHKHU EHAQTKHX XYHFEH.

blond wig: The hair of the blond wig sticks straight out, as if it's made of clumps of straw. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: XPZZDS FGQS.

black wig: The black wig is very long, and the curls are tangled. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: ZGOQTGK KDTBQSO.
You take the wigs
green wig: You pick up the green wig.
auburn wig: You pick up the auburn wig.
blond wig: You pick up the blond wig.
black wig: You pick up the black wig.
You look at the table
The dressing table is unusually large. A mirror is mounted above it, and a single drawer is tucked away beneath. A row of white styrofoam heads stands on the table.
You open the drawer
Opening the dressing table reveals a brush and a musical score.
You look at the score
It appears to be the score for an opera called Die Zauberokarina by A.W. Trazom.
You look at the brush
Judging from the multi-colored strands caught in its bristles, Mrs. Pepper uses this cheap black plastic brush on her wigs. There's some kind of emblem on the back of the brush.
You examine the emblem
It's fairly schematic, but it looks like a scarlet fish. Underneath it is some tiny lettering.
You read the lettering
You can't make it out. It appears to be in Arabic or some other alphabet you have no idea how to read.
You look at the bed
The king-size bed is covered with a brown comforter.
You examine the comforter
It's a brown quilted coverlet.
Inventory
You are carrying a small flashlight, a glass (full of water), a butter knife, and four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black).
Go east
The way out is to the west. The normal bathroom stuff is here, including a bath, a washbasin and a toilet.
You look at the bath
It's a plain white enamel bath, matching the sink; at least, it was white once, it's now mostly off-white with a number of distinctly brown stains.
You examine the basin
It's just a plain white enamel basin, matching the bath. A faucet is mounted above it.
You look behind the toilet
You don't need to use it right now, and you're not so sure of Mrs. Pepper's standards of hygiene that you want to mess with this part of her plumbing.
You get the toilet brush
You see nothing unusual about it.

You see no toilet brush here.
You go to the west
This small, square room is furnished in a plain, unattractive style. Opposite the bed stands a dressing table, on which is a row of styrofoam heads. The way out is to the south, and there's a bathroom to the east.

The dressing table contains a brush and a musical score.
You look at the heads
The four white styrofoam heads stand stiffly on the dressing table. They look rather ominously ghostly, as they have no faces.
You get brush
You pick up the brush.
You get the score
You pick up the musical score. Moving the musical score reveals an ocarina underneath.
You get the ocarina
You pick up the ocarina.
You get the ocarina
The plastic ocarina is about the shape and color of a potato. There are a few holes across the top, and a sort of mouthpiece at one side for blowing into.

You are already carrying the ocarina.
Play score
The score is far too complex for you to cope with -- hemisemidemiquavers by the bushel!
Brush hair
You give your hair a good brush. Maybe it ends up just a little tidier.
Go south
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is closed.
You examine the steel door
The door has no visible knob or handle. It's recessed slightly in the wall.
You open the door
(the bedroom door)
The bedroom door won't budge; it resists your attempts to open it with almost supernatural determination.
You look at the score
It appears to be the score for an opera called Die Zauberokarina by A.W. Trazom.
Play score
The score is far too complex for you to cope with -- hemisemidemiquavers by the bushel!
You play the okerina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. You fancy you detect a momentary shimmering across the surface of the bedroom door, but possibly your eyes are playing tricks on you.
You knock on the door
(the bedroom door)
You think you hear a faint answering croak on the other side of the door, but you can't be quite sure.
You go north
This small, square room is furnished in a plain, unattractive style. Opposite the bed stands a dressing table, on which is a row of styrofoam heads. The way out is to the south, and there's a bathroom to the east.
You look in the mirror
You look almost exactly the same as the last time you looked in a mirror.
You hold the brush
You are already carrying the brush.
You examine the knife
It's a small knife, made of stainless steel. It looks as if it should cut through butter readily enough, but it probably wouldn't make much of an impression on a rump steak.
Go downwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead south, back to the landing; and east, to the bathroom.
Go south
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is closed.
Go downward
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, to the kitchen; south; west; and up, back to the landing.
Go north
The kitchen is small, and equipped with the usual appliances, including a cupboard, a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, though most of the space is taken up by the unusually bulky wooden table standing in the middle of the room. The back door leads north, while to the south is an open doorway. A flight of stairs on the west side of the room leads down, roughly opposite the window in the east wall.

The fridge contains a large wedge of blue cheese and a stale loaf of bread.

There's an overpowering smell of over-ripe cheese.
You go down
You tiptoe down the stairs into the cellar. It certainly is dark down here....

Cellar (in pitch darkness)
You can't see anything in here, apart from the dim outline of the stairs leading back up.
You go south
This boxy little room is furnished in a fussy, old-fashioned style. The one modern touch is a wide-screen TV, with a couch facing it. A low coffee table sits in front of the couch, and a fireplace is set in another wall. There's a door to the south, and the open doorway to the hall is on the north.

On the mantel is a framed photo. On the coffee table are a yellow book and a remote control.
You examine the control
The remote is studded with buttons, but two of them are especially large and appear well-thumbed. One is red, the other blue. Around the back is a sort of plastic hatch cover.
You examine the fireplace
The fireplace has an artificial gas log in it, and a mantel above.
You look at log
The gas log is gray. Its bark is wrinkled in an unconvincing way.
You look at the buttons
The main buttons of interest are the red button marked ON and the blue button marked CHAN.
You examine table
The coffee table is made of dark wood. On the coffee table are a yellow book and a remote control.
Examine book
The book is a thick paperback with a yellow cover. It's entitled Spell-Casting for Dummies.
You take remote
You pick up the remote control.
You open the remote
Opening the remote control reveals an AA battery.
You read the book
(first taking the yellow book)
As you open the book, a piece of paper falls out and flutters to the floor.
You take the battery
You pick up the AA battery.
You put the battery in the flashlight
You put the battery in the flashlight and close it.
You take the paper
You pick up the piece of paper.
You take all
framed photo: You pick up the framed photo.
wide-screen TV: The wide-screen TV is too heavy.
couch: The couch is too heavy.
coffee table: The coffee table is too heavy.
You examine couch
The couch, which is easily long enough for you to lie on, is set facing the wide-screen TV. It's covered in a rather depressing shade of brown leather, which has become more than a little shiny in some places, and scuffed in others.
You turn on the tv
It looks like you have to use the remote to do that.
You open the flashlight
Opening the small flashlight reveals an AA battery.
You close flashlight
Closed.
You get the paper
You are already carrying the piece of paper.
You examine paper
On the piece of paper someone has written, in block capitals with a stubby pencil, the phrase "THE MIND POWER OF GLAMOROUS HAIR CLUSTERS." Below this is another phrase, which oddly enough is total gibberish: "JAH ZQSU WDYHF DI OKGZDFDPX AGQF TKPXJHFX."
You look at the green wig
The green wig is a mass of greasy green ringlets. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: TGPXH XKHHW.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a small flashlight (providing light), a glass (full of water), a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, and a framed photo.
You read the book
There's an index at the back of the book, where you might be able to look up specific topics if any interest you. Ignoring the index for the moment, you flip through the book at random, and encounter a recipe for a love potion, the principle ingredients of which seem to be onions and vacuum cleaner lint.
You look up toads
(in the yellow book)
The yellow book doesn't seem to have much to say on that subject -- nothing you can find in the index, at any rate.
You read the index
There's an index at the back of the book, where you might be able to look up specific topics if any interest you. Ignoring the index for the moment, you flip through the book at random, and encounter a numbingly complex description of Polynesian astrology, complete with pages of smudgy diagrams.
You look up wig
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index. There's nothing under "wigs," but purely by chance you spot an entry for "garments, magical, uses of." This section of the book proves to be devoted almost entirely to full-page, exotically lighted photos of pointed black hats with wide brims -- but a short paragraph reveals that the working of a spell usually requires both the wearing of a magically enhanced garment and the performance of some other action, such as shooting off firecrackers or plucking the feathers from a recently deceased chicken.
You look up the sleep
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and find a listing for "sleep, inducing." On the indicated page, the book explains that to put someone to sleep, you need to be wearing a magically prepared garment or head-covering and chant a brief incantation while wielding the Sign of the Scarlet Fish. Unfortunately, the incantation is written in an alphabet you've never seen before, although it may be in the same script as the writing on the hairbrush. It looks rather like Arabic, but with a lot more squiggles.
You look up wheeled vehicles
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and after hunting for a bit, find a listing for "vehicles, wheeled, causing to swerve." The indicated page seems to have been torn out, however.
You look up rain
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and find a listing for "rain, summoning." On that page, the book explains that rain can be induced to fall by wearing a garment or head-covering imbued with the proper power while pouring water on the ground and holding a bamboo stick. The spell for adding this power to an ordinary garment is quite intimidatingly complex, sad to say, and requires several ingredients that you not only don't have but have never even heard of.
You look up locking
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and find a listing for "locks, magical." On that page is printed the following verse:

To free the lock that I was glad
To conjure up when rightly clad.
You look at the blond wig
The hair of the blond wig sticks straight out, as if it's made of clumps of straw. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: XPZZDS FGQS.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying a small flashlight (providing light), a glass (full of water), a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, and a framed photo.
You look at the auburn wig
The auburn wig is short and balloon-shaped. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: ZGBH YAHHKHU EHAQTKHX XYHFEH.
You examine the green
The green wig is a mass of greasy green ringlets. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: TGPXH XKHHW.
You examine black
The black wig is very long, and the curls are tangled. Attached to the elastic band at the back is a little hand-lettered cardboard tag, which reads: ZGOQTGK KDTBQSO.
Play score
The score is far too complex for you to cope with -- hemisemidemiquavers by the bushel!
You play ocarina
You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The front door vibrates for a moment in a dull, heavy way, as if it's becoming darker and more massive.
Go downwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, to the kitchen; south, back to the sitting room; west; and up, to the landing.
Go down
The cellar is dim and dismal. A flight of stairs leads up. Near the foot of the stairs a slim chain dangles from the ceiling. Off to one side squats a heavy piece of machinery, and a plank shelf has been built into the opposite wall.

A battered old wheelchair slumps in one corner.
You pull the chain
You pull the chain, and the cellar is illuminated by a bare lightbulb mounted on a rafter at the upper end of the chain.
You look at the chari
(x chair)

It may still be functional, but it has clearly seen better days, and has hardly been treated with tender loving care. Part of the fabric is torn, and several spots of rust are appearing, not least on the brake lever.

You recall your mother telling you how poor Mr. Pepper was found dead at the foot of the cellar stairs following a tragic accident involving his wheelchair. After your various encounters with his widow, you find yourself wondering just how accidental his accident actually was.
You look at the chair
It may still be functional, but it has clearly seen better days, and has hardly been treated with tender loving care. Part of the fabric is torn, and several spots of rust are appearing, not least on the brake lever.
You examine the lever
It's just a short lever with a worn rubber grip at the end. The exposed metal part is beginning to look a bit rusty. Apparently the brake is on. It looks as if something may be jamming the lever from underneath, but you can't quite see what's back there without looking behind the lever.
You look behind the lever
Behind the brake lever is a bunch of keys. It looks like they must have fallen there from the owner's pocket.
You get the keys
The keys seem to be stuck behind the lever; you'll need something to move them with, something thin enough to fit behind the lever but sturdy enough to dislodge the keys.
You get the keys with the knife
You poke the knife behind the brake lever, and manage to dislodge the bunch of keys, which promptly falls onto the ground.
You take the keys
(first standing up)
You pick up the bunch of keys.
You look at the shelf
The shelf is built high against one wall. On the shelf is a glass jar (which contains a small metallic object).
You look at the jar
The glass jar seems to have been used at one time to hold paint. The interior surface is splattered with flecks of white, and a few dribbles have flowed down the outside and dried. The jar is quite dusty on the outside. It contains a small metallic object.
You get jar
(first getting off of the wheelchair)
You can't reach the glass jar because the shelf is too high.
You pull the lever
You pull the brake lever to its stop.
You remove the brake
(from the wheelchair)
You can't have that; it's part of the wheelchair.
You pull the lever
The innards of the machine are concealed by a metal housing. On one side is a large vertically mounted wheel, around both sides of which a sturdy cable runs up through the ceiling. Not far from the cable a black-coated wire dangles down from the ceiling. The lower end of the wire swings free not far from a screw that protrudes from the top of the machine. Mounted in the north wall just behind the machine is a small metal door.

You pull the brake lever to its stop.
You stand on the wheelchair
The wheelchair starts to roll away as soon as you try to stand on it.
You get the jar
You pick up the glass jar.
You examine JR
(x jar)

The glass jar seems to have been used at one time to hold paint. The interior surface is splattered with flecks of white, and a few dribbles have flowed down the outside and dried. The jar is quite dusty on the outside. It contains a small metallic object.
You open the jar
The lid seems to be stuck.
You open lid with the knife
The jar's lid proves too stubborn for that to work.
You take the jar
You are already carrying the glass jar.
You drop jar
Saved.

The jar plummets to the floor and breaks.
You look around
Cellar (standing on the wheelchair)
The cellar is dim and dismal. A flight of stairs leads up. Near the foot of the stairs a slim chain dangles from the ceiling. Off to one side squats a heavy piece of machinery, and a plank shelf has been built into the opposite wall.

The old wheelchair is resting just by the shelf.

You see a glass jar (broken) (which contains a small metallic object) here.
You get the jar
(first getting off of the wheelchair)
You pick up the glass jar.
You take the object
You pick up the small metallic object.
You examine object
It's an antique gold brooch, roughly round and about an inch and a half in diameter.
You examine the machine
The innards of the machine are concealed by a metal housing. On one side is a large vertically mounted wheel, around both sides of which a sturdy cable runs up through the ceiling. Not far from the cable a black-coated wire dangles down from the ceiling. The lower end of the wire swings free not far from a screw that protrudes from the top of the machine. Mounted in the north wall just behind the machine is a small metal door.
You examine the door
It's a small, gray, metal door set into the north wall. A thick cable runs up from the door to the ceiling. It's closed.
You open the door
Opening the metal door reveals a small box containing a large red switch.
You pull the wire
Touching the wire gives you a severe shock, so you let go of it at once.
You hit switch
Which switch do you mean, the large red switch, or the small flashlight?
Red switch
(the large red switch)
You cannot attack that.
You press the red
Which red do you mean, the red button, or the large red switch?
You pull the wire
You grip the end of the wire between two fingers and give it a little tug. It seems to be securely attached to something up in the ceiling, but this end is dangling loose -- not the usual situation, with electrical wires.
You look at the screw
The screw protrudes from the top plate of the machine housing.
Turn wheel
It proves to be too stiff to turn by hand.
Screw
What do you want to screw?
You examine the red button
The red button says "ON" in large square letters.
Inventory
Please select a file in which to save the current position >
Saved.

You are carrying a small flashlight, a glass (full of water), a butter knife, three wigs (one green, one auburn, and one blond), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a bunch of keys, a glass jar (broken), and a gold brooch. You're wearing a black wig.
Go upwards
The kitchen is small, and equipped with the usual appliances, including a cupboard, a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, though most of the space is taken up by the unusually bulky wooden table standing in the middle of the room. The back door leads north, while to the south is an open doorway. A flight of stairs on the west side of the room leads down, roughly opposite the window in the east wall.

The fridge contains a large wedge of blue cheese and a stale loaf of bread.

There's an overpowering smell of over-ripe cheese.
You go north
(first unlocking the back door, then opening it)

The back porch is a plain wooden structure, with no railing or decoration. It looks as if it was tacked onto the house as an afterthought. It's several feet above the ground, with a ramp leading up to one side. The back door leading into the house is just to the south.

Mrs. Dogwood is working in the garden next door.
You examine the ramp
The ramp ascends smoothly from the ground to the porch.
You give the brooch to Dogwood
Mrs. Dogwood doesn't appear to hear you. Perhaps if you were closer to her....
Go north
The back yard is in a dreadful state. Except for a few sorry weeds, nothing grows here. Someone has dug holes of various sizes, leaving mounds of dirt and gravel everywhere. A concrete birdbath stands in the center of the yard. The back porch of the house lies directly to the south.

The driveway is off to the southeast, past the corner of the garage. The garage itself stands directly to the east.

Mrs. Dogwood is working in the garden next door.
You give the brooch to Dogwood
"Hello again," you say.

"Hi there, youngster," she replies.

"Do you recognize this brooch, by any chance, Mrs. Dogwood?" you ask.

"Yes! That's it! It's mine! I thought it was gone forever. Thank you so much for finding it for me." She takes the brooch and pins it to her jacket.
You ask about the ocarina
"My, but you're inquisitive!" she exclaims. "Just a regular little chatterbox."
You ask Dogwood about the spells
"You don't believe in magic, do you?" you ask.

She titters. "Magic? You mean like spells and witchcraft and such muck? Certainly not! I'm a sensible modern woman. All the same, one hears tales...."
You ask Dogwood about the music
"I hardly know what to say!" she declares.
You ask about the wigs
"Can you tell me anything about Mrs. Pepper's wigs?" you ask.

"Hideous, aren't they?" Mrs. Dogwood responds promptly. "I don't know why she's so fond of them, or where she buys them, but I daresay there's no accounting for taste."
You ask about writing on the brush
"Well..." she begins, then shakes her head, "No, I don't have time to explain all that now."
You ask about the mozart
"To tell you the truth," she begins, and then goes off into a rambling explanation you lose the thread of somewhere in the middle of the third sentence.
You give the ocarina to Dogwood
You show the ocarina to Mrs. Dogwood, and her face wrinkles in a disgusted frown. "That awful thing? I've heard Mrs. Pepper tootling on it, though I don't think she could carry a tune in a basket. She only plays it inside the house, thank goodness -- and I fancy the noise comes from upstairs."
You ask Dogwood to play the ocarina
You suspect that trying to boss Mrs. Dogwood around may not be the best way to secure her friendly co-operation.
Given the brush to dogwood
(give brush to dogwood)

"I'm afraid I'm not all that interested in that right now, dear," she replies, with a quick glance at the brush.
You wear the green wig
Okay, you're now wearing the green wig.

"My goodness," Mrs. Dogwood exclaims. "What's that on your head? It looks just like one of Mrs. Pepper's awful wigs. It looks rather silly on you, I must say, but I suppose young people's sense of what's fashionable or trendy is not quite the same as mine."
You look up the sleep
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and find a listing for "sleep, inducing." On the indicated page, the book explains that to put someone to sleep, you need to be wearing a magically prepared garment or head-covering and chant a brief incantation while wielding the Sign of the Scarlet Fish. Unfortunately, the incantation is written in an alphabet you've never seen before, although it may be in the same script as the writing on the hairbrush. It looks rather like Arabic, but with a lot more squiggles.
You give the book to Dogwood
The word "sdzzpx" is not necessary in this story.

"I'm afraid I'm not all that interested in that right now, dear," she replies, with a quick glance at the yellow book.
Go south
Mrs. Dogwood returns to her gardening.

The back porch is a plain wooden structure, with no railing or decoration. It looks as if it was tacked onto the house as an afterthought. It's several feet above the ground, with a ramp leading up to one side. The back door leading into the house is just to the south.

Mrs. Dogwood is working in the garden next door.
You wear the black wig
(first taking off the green wig)
Okay, you're now wearing the black wig.
You press the button
(the black button)
You push the black button, but nothing happens.
Go upwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, to the back porch; south, back to the hall; east, to the section of driveway beside the house; and down, to the cellar.
You play ocarina
You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The bedroom door shimmers pleasantly for a moment, as if a rainbow of light is passing across it.
You open the door
(the bedroom door)
Opened.
Go south
This boxy room is mostly unfurnished. Its most interesting feature is a large pot or planter -- the sort of thing you'd expect to see a potted palm growing in. In this pot, however, is a small brownish-green person.

The door is to the north, and there's a window in the opposite wall.

A pamphlet is lying on the floor.
You read the pamphlet
(first taking the pamphlet)
You flip through the pamphlet. A lot of it is both boring and unlikely, but you manage to pick up one or two tidbits of information that might somehow be useful. First, the odd-looking little man in the pot is undoubtedly a garden elf, and not a pixie, leprechaun, or hobbit. The illustrations, though crudely drawn, make that pretty clear. Second, garden elves are reputed to be a type of plant, not an animal at all, though they look like little people. In the wild they're quite mobile: They can pop up out of the soil, duck down, and pop up again a hundred yards away in the blink of an eye -- but they can never venture more than a step or two away from the soil, as they have roots, not feet.
You examine the window
The window is narrow, consisting of a single pane of glass in a wooden frame. Curtains hang beside it. It's closed.
You pull the curtains
You pull the curtains closed, thereby shutting out much of the light.
You open the window
(first opening the curtains)
Opened.
You look at the window
The window is narrow, consisting of a single pane of glass in a wooden frame. Curtains hang beside it. It's open.
You look through the window
The window affords a view over the front yard and the busy street beyond.
You talk to the garden elf
"Hi there!" you say.

In reply, the elf makes soft croaking, choking noises. With an effort, he finally manages to force out a few intelligible words: "Water -- thirsty. Need water...."
Inventory
You are carrying a small flashlight, a glass (full of water), a butter knife, three wigs (one green, one auburn, and one blond), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a bunch of keys, a glass jar (broken), and a pamphlet. You're wearing a black wig.
You pour the water on the elf
When you lean over the pot and start to tip the glass of tap water into it, the elf writhes and convulses as if an electrical current were shooting through him. "Nooooo!" he cries in a quivering little voice. "Nasty chemicals! Nooo, please. Need nice fresh water, not nasty chemical water." He falls back, sobbing.
You go to the north
The elf looks at you regretfully.

The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is open.
You go north
This small, square room is furnished in a plain, unattractive style. Opposite the bed stands a dressing table, on which is a row of styrofoam heads. The way out is to the south, and there's a bathroom to the east.
Empty glass
Emptying the glass here would only make a mess.
Drink water
You drink all the water in the glass; it tastes stale, flat, and rather bitter.
You fill the glass
(from the faucet)
(first turning on the faucet, then putting the glass under it)
You hold the glass under the faucet until it fills up with water.
Go south
You can't go that way. The only obvious exit leads west, back to the back bedroom.
You go south
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is open.
Go south
This boxy room is mostly unfurnished. Its most interesting feature is a large pot or planter -- the sort of thing you'd expect to see a potted palm growing in. In this pot, however, is a small brownish-green person.

The door is to the north, and there's a window in the opposite wall.
Go south
You could easily break an ankle jumping out the window.
You pour the water
Emptying the glass here would only make a mess.
You give the water to the elf
"Hi there!" you say.

When you lean over the pot and start to tip the glass of tap water into it, the elf writhes and convulses as if an electrical current were shooting through him. "Nooooo!" he cries in a quivering little voice. "Nasty chemicals! Nooo, please. Need nice fresh water, not nasty chemical water." He falls back, sobbing.
You wear the green wig
(first taking off the black wig)
Okay, you're now wearing the green wig.
You wear blond
(first taking off the green wig)
Okay, you're now wearing the blond wig.
You look up rain
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and find a listing for "rain, summoning." On that page, the book explains that rain can be induced to fall by wearing a garment or head-covering imbued with the proper power while pouring water on the ground and holding a bamboo stick. The spell for adding this power to an ordinary garment is quite intimidatingly complex, sad to say, and requires several ingredients that you not only don't have but have never even heard of.
Inventory
You are carrying a small flashlight, a glass (full of water), a butter knife, three wigs (one green, one auburn, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a bunch of keys, a glass jar (broken), and a pamphlet. You're wearing a blond wig.
You ask the elf about the bamboo
In reply, the elf makes soft croaking, choking noises. With an effort, he finally manages to force out a few intelligible words: "Water -- thirsty. Need water...."
You take the elf
His legs seem to be firmly rooted in the soil in the pot.
You drop all
small flashlight: You set down the small flashlight.
glass: You put the glass down carefully.
butter knife: You set down the butter knife.
green wig: You set down the green wig.
auburn wig: You set down the auburn wig.

blond wig:
(first taking off the blond wig)
You set down the blond wig.

black wig: You set down the black wig.
brush: You set down the brush.
musical score: You set down the musical score.
ocarina: You set down the ocarina.
remote control: You set down the remote control.
yellow book: You set down the yellow book.
piece of paper: You set down the piece of paper.
framed photo: You set down the framed photo.
bunch of keys: You set down the bunch of keys.
glass jar: You set down the glass jar.
pamphlet: You set down the pamphlet.
You get the pot
You pick up the heavy pot.
You get the keys
You find that it's impossible to carry anything else while holding the heavy pot.

The elf looks at you regretfully.
Go north
The pot is far too heavy for you to carry any distance.
You drop the elf
You set down the heavy pot.
You look at the curtains
The curtains are made of some thin material printed in a predominantly blue chintzy pattern. They're open.
You close the curtains
You pull the curtains closed, thereby shutting out much of the light.
You examine the curtains
The curtains are made of some thin material printed in a predominantly blue chintzy pattern. They're closed.
Look around
This boxy room is mostly unfurnished. Its most interesting feature is a large pot or planter -- the sort of thing you'd expect to see a potted palm growing in. In this pot, however, is a small brownish-green person.

The door is to the north, and there's a window in the opposite wall.
You look at the pot
The fat brown pot looks to be made of earthenware. It's full of dirt, and a small, wrinkled, brownish-green person is lying curled up in it.
Go north
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is open.
Go north
The back porch is a plain wooden structure, with no railing or decoration. It looks as if it was tacked onto the house as an afterthought. It's several feet above the ground, with a ramp leading up to one side. The back door leading into the house is just to the south.

Mrs. Dogwood is working in the garden next door.
You look at the garden
Over the fence you can see that the garden next door is very well tended. Growing in one corner is a spectacular patch of bamboo shoots.

Mrs. Dogwood is working in the garden next door.
You get skateboard
Your skateboard is too far away.
You get shoot
The patch of bamboo shoots is too far away.

(get short)

You have better things to do than mess with your hair right now.
You ask Dogwood about the bamboo
"Hello again," you say.

"Hi there, youngster," she replies.

"That's a very impressive patch of bamboo you have there, Mrs. Dogwood," you say.

"Oh, you like my bamboo," she replies. "I'm quite proud of it. It's not as easy to grow in this climate as you might suppose."
You get shoot
(get short)

You have better things to do than mess with your hair right now.
You ask Dogwood about the bamboo
"That's a very impressive patch of bamboo you have there, Mrs. Dogwood," you say.

"Oh, you like my bamboo," she replies. "I'm quite proud of it. It's not as easy to grow in this climate as you might suppose."
You ask Dogwood for the bamboo
"That's a very impressive patch of bamboo you have there, Mrs. Dogwood," you say. "I've always thought it would be fun to have a walking cane made of bamboo. I don't suppose there's any chance you could cut off one of the pieces for me? You'd hardly miss it!"

"Oh, you like my bamboo," she replies. "I'm quite proud of it. Normally I dislike cutting it, but..." She pauses.

"One good turn deserves another!" she adds with a grin. "Now that you've returned my brooch, I'd be happy to cut you a piece of bamboo!"

She crosses her garden and returns a few moments later bearing a stick of bamboo, which she hands to you over the fence. "Well, I believe I've done enough gardening for this afternoon," she finishes. "I'm going to go inside now and phone Gladys to tell her all about how a nice young person found my brooch and returned it to me." With that, she strips off her gardening gloves and trots off toward her back door.
You pour the water on the ground
The word "gloves" is not necessary in this story.

You pour all the water from the glass onto the ground.
You pour the water
You pour all the water from the glass onto the ground. Within moments after the water splashes onto the ground, a very small but dense gray cloud gathers over your head. The brief rumble of thunder sounds more like the rattling of a sheet of tin in a cheap theatrical production than like real thunder -- but all the same, the cloud dumps a downpour of rain onto the ground for about ten seconds before dissipating as abruptly as it gathered. As the day is warm, the water on the ground swiftly evaporates in tendrils of steam. A good bit of water has fallen into the birdbath, however -- so much that it's in no danger of evaporating. The birdbath is now full of fresh rainwater.
You fill the glass with the water
You fill the glass with fresh rainwater from the birdbath.
You fill the glass
(from the birdbath)
The glass is already full.
Drink glass
You drink all the water in the glass; it tastes nice and fresh.
You fill the glass
(from the birdbath)
You dip the glass in the birdbath and fill it with fresh rainwater.
Go south
The back porch is a plain wooden structure, with no railing or decoration. It looks as if it was tacked onto the house as an afterthought. It's several feet above the ground, with a ramp leading up to one side. The back door leading into the house is just to the south.
You give the water
(to the elf)
"Hi there!" you say.

As the fresh rainwater trickles into the soil of the pot, the elf begins to uncurl and stretch. No longer a shriveled ball cowering in the pot, he stands up straight, his eyes bright. "Ahh ... ahh! You don't know how wonderful that feels! I think maybe I won't die today after all. I'd hug you if I could, but --" He bends his knees as if trying to lift his feet free of the soil in the pot. "-- I've been rather planted, you see. I'm an elf, by the way, in case you hadn't guessed."
You talk to the elf
You already have the elf's attention.

(You could ask him about himself, Mrs. Pepper, your skateboard, or the pot, or tell him about your skateboard. You could also ask or tell him about various other things that might occur to you.)
You ask the elf about the skateboard
"Can you tell me how I might be able to get my skateboard out from under the porch?" you ask. "I think the space under there is just too small for me to crawl in."

"If you could get me downstairs and outdoors, I could certainly retrieve it for you," the elf replies. "I did notice that beneath the porch is only bare soil, not pavement, so I could go there. But how you'll be able to get me downstairs I don't know. This pot looks awfully heavy!"
You ask elf for the page
"Could you give me...?" you begin.

"I doubt it," the elf replies, before you can even complete your request. "My powers are very limited, you see."
You give the brush to the elf
"I don't have any use for that, I'm afraid," the elf says. "Thank you for showing it to me, though."
You look up swerve
(in the yellow book)
You thumb through the index and after hunting for a bit, find a listing for "vehicles, wheeled, causing to swerve." The indicated page seems to have been torn out, however.
You ask about the car
"I'm not much of a conversationalist," he admits. "You've stumped me ... if you'll forgive the term."
You ask the elf about the black button
"That's not something I know very much about," he responds. "I'm very sorry."
You ask the elf about the machine
"You humans must lead such interesting lives," the elf says. "You're just bursting with questions and comments!"
You ask the elf about the bamboo
"Have you noticed the beautiful bamboo plant growing in the neighbor's yard?" you ask.

"Oh, yes," the elf replies. "From time to time I've seen humans using bamboo sticks for magical purposes, but I really don't know anything about how that might work. Perhaps you could look it up in the Encyclopedia Enchantica, if you can find a copy."
You take soil
You can't have that; it's part of the heavy pot.
You put the elf in the glass
(first trying to take the elf)
His legs seem to be firmly rooted in the soil in the pot.
You put the soil in the glass
You can't put that anywhere; it's part of the heavy pot.
You drop all
small flashlight: You set down the small flashlight.
glass: You put the glass down carefully.
butter knife: You set down the butter knife.
green wig: You set down the green wig.
auburn wig: You set down the auburn wig.

blond wig:
(first taking off the blond wig)
You set down the blond wig.

black wig: You set down the black wig.
brush: You set down the brush.
musical score: You set down the musical score.
ocarina: You set down the ocarina.
remote control: You set down the remote control.
yellow book: You set down the yellow book.
piece of paper: You set down the piece of paper.
framed photo: You set down the framed photo.
glass jar: You set down the glass jar.
pamphlet: You set down the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You set down the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You set down the bamboo stick.
You take the pot
You pick up the heavy pot.
You drop the pot
You set down the heavy pot.
You take all
small flashlight: You pick up the small flashlight.
glass: You pick up the glass.
butter knife: You pick up the butter knife.
green wig: You pick up the green wig.
auburn wig: You pick up the auburn wig.
blond wig: You pick up the blond wig.
black wig: You pick up the black wig.
brush: You pick up the brush.
musical score: You pick up the musical score.
ocarina: You pick up the ocarina.
remote control: You pick up the remote control.
yellow book: You pick up the yellow book.
piece of paper: You pick up the piece of paper.
framed photo: You pick up the framed photo.
glass jar: You pick up the glass jar.
pamphlet: You pick up the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You pick up the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You pick up the bamboo stick.

heavy pot: To pick up the pot, you'll need both hands free.
You find the screwdriver
(in the yellow book)
The yellow book doesn't seem to have much to say on that subject -- nothing you can find in the index, at any rate.
You play ocarina
You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The bedroom door slams shut.
You look
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is closed.
Go downward
The cellar is dim and dismal. A flight of stairs leads up. Near the foot of the stairs a slim chain dangles from the ceiling. Off to one side squats a heavy piece of machinery, and a plank shelf has been built into the opposite wall.

The old wheelchair is resting just by the shelf.
You examine the machine
The innards of the machine are concealed by a metal housing. On one side is a large vertically mounted wheel, around both sides of which a sturdy cable runs up through the ceiling. Not far from the cable a black-coated wire dangles down from the ceiling. The lower end of the wire swings free not far from a screw that protrudes from the top of the machine. Mounted in the north wall just behind the machine is a small metal door.
You look at the screw
The screw protrudes from the top plate of the machine housing.
You examine the wire
The wire dangles down from the ceiling. It's covered with black insulating material, except for an inch or so at the lower end, which has the gleam of bare metal.
You examine photo
The photo is of Mrs. Pepper and a man you've never seen. She is standing with her hand on his shoulder; he is sitting in a wheelchair, gazing up at her with an expression that's hard to read -- something between fondness and brave dread. She's grimacing at the camera, showing her teeth in a way that was probably meant to be a smile.
You go south
This boxy little room is furnished in a fussy, old-fashioned style. The one modern touch is a wide-screen TV, with a couch facing it. A low coffee table sits in front of the couch, and a fireplace is set in another wall. There's a door to the south, and the open doorway to the hall is on the north.
You open the flashlight
Opening the small flashlight reveals an AA battery.
You put the battery in the remote
(first taking the AA battery from the small flashlight)
Done.
You turn on the tv
It looks like you have to use the remote to do that.
You turn on the tv
It's already on.
Change channel
The display on the TV changes to show an episode of the long-running sitcom "Fiends," about a flat-sharing coven of witches.

The word "change" is not necessary in this story.
You search the couch
Searching your settee at home can frequently prove rewarding, since there's often the odd dime or quarter or lost bunch of keys fallen behind the cushions, but Mrs. Pepper's couch proves obstinately devoid of such interesting finds.
You look
This boxy little room is furnished in a fussy, old-fashioned style. The one modern touch is a wide-screen TV, with a couch facing it. A low coffee table sits in front of the couch, and a fireplace is set in another wall. There's a door to the south, and the open doorway to the hall is on the north.
You examine the mantel
The mantel is a shelf about four feet long, which runs along the wall above the fireplace.
You pull mantel
It's firmly fixed in place.
Inventory
You are carrying a small flashlight, a glass, a butter knife, three wigs (one green, one auburn, and one blond), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a glass jar (broken), a pamphlet, a bunch of keys, and a bamboo stick. You're wearing a black wig. The remote control contains an AA battery.
You describe your surroundings
This boxy little room is furnished in a fussy, old-fashioned style. The one modern touch is a wide-screen TV, with a couch facing it. A low coffee table sits in front of the couch, and a fireplace is set in another wall. There's a door to the south, and the open doorway to the hall is on the north.
You go to the south
(first unlocking the front door, then trying to open it)
The front door won't budge; it resists your attempts to open it with almost supernatural determination.
You wear the black
You're already wearing it.
You play okarina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The front door shimmers pleasantly for a moment, as if a rainbow of light is passing across it.
You go to the south
(first opening the front door)

The front door lies immediately to the north; the front yard is to the south. There's a doorbell button just by the front door.
Go east
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, back to the sitting room; and south, to the front yard.
You go south
The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.
You examine weeds
The weeds look parched and withered.
You pull the weeds
You've never had any time for weeds.
Go north
Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

You see a trash can and a trash can lid here.
You go to the north
(first trying to open the garage door)
It seems to have been shut for so long that the most recent layer of paint has sealed it up.
You cut the door with the knife
The butter knife doesn't have much of an edge to it. You'd probably have a hard time cutting butter with it, let alone the garage door.
You play okarina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. You hear something slam shut nearby. The window slams shut. The garage door vibrates for a moment in a dull, heavy way, as if it's becoming darker and more massive.
You play okarina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The garage door and the windowboth shimmer pleasantly for a moment, as if a rainbow of light is passing across them.
You examine the garage
The single-car garage is built of weathered planks, which are painted an unlikely shade of avocado green.
You go northwest
The back yard is in a dreadful state. Except for a few sorry weeds, nothing grows here. Someone has dug holes of various sizes, leaving mounds of dirt and gravel everywhere. A concrete birdbath stands in the center of the yard. The back porch of the house lies directly to the south.

The driveway is off to the southeast, past the corner of the garage. The garage itself stands directly to the east.
You look at the garage
The garage is pretty much just a wooden shed. It's painted green, and there's a plain wooden door on this side.
You examine the holes
Which holes do you mean, the excavations, or the ocarina?
You open door
(first unlocking the garage door)
Opened.
You go east
The interior of the garage smells dank and musty. A little sunlight leaks in through cracks and knotholes, and a pile of clutter occupies one corner. A workbench runs along the wall.

A long-handled rake leans against the wall.

On the workbench is a toolbox.
You look at the clutter
The pile of clutter in the corner seems to consist mostly of discarded cardboard cartons, which are covered with dust and cobwebs.
You get the spider
(get side)

You can't take that.
You get the toolbox
You pick up the toolbox.
You open it
Opening the toolbox reveals a screwdriver.
You look around
The interior of the garage smells dank and musty. A little sunlight leaks in through cracks and knotholes, and a pile of clutter occupies one corner. A workbench runs along the wall.

A long-handled rake leans against the wall.
You examine workbench
The workbench is built along one wall of the garage. It's rather stained and nicked, as if someone used it at one time, but now it's entirely bare of tools.
You get the rake
You pick up the rake.
You examine the wall
(the north wall)
You see nothing unusual about it.
You examine the garage door
(the garage side door)
It's an ordinary door. It's open.
You get the screwd
You pick up the screwdriver.
You attach the wire
What do you want to attach it to?
To screw
It appears you'll need both hands. Trying to hold anything other than the screwdriver while doing that is just too awkward.
You drop all except the screwdriver
small flashlight: You set down the small flashlight.
glass: You put the glass down carefully.
butter knife: You set down the butter knife.
green wig: You set down the green wig.
auburn wig: You set down the auburn wig.
blond wig: You set down the blond wig.

black wig:
(first taking off the black wig)
You set down the black wig.

brush: You set down the brush.
musical score: You set down the musical score.
ocarina: You set down the ocarina.
remote control: You set down the remote control.
yellow book: You set down the yellow book.
piece of paper: You set down the piece of paper.
framed photo: You set down the framed photo.
glass jar: You set down the glass jar.
pamphlet: You set down the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You set down the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You set down the bamboo stick.
toolbox: You set down the toolbox.
rake: You set down the rake.
You attach the wire to the screw
Using the screwdriver, you attach the bare metal end of the wire to the screw on the top of the machine.
You examine machine
The innards of the machine are concealed by a metal housing. On one side is a large vertically mounted wheel, around both sides of which a sturdy cable runs up through the ceiling. Not far from the cable a black-coated wire dangles down from the ceiling. The wire is attached to a screw on the top of the machine. Mounted in the north wall just behind the machine is a small metal door.
You press the switch
(the large red switch)
A low humming sound starts coming from the machinery.
Go down
The cellar is dim and dismal. A flight of stairs leads up. Near the foot of the stairs a slim chain dangles from the ceiling. Off to one side squats a heavy piece of machinery, and a plank shelf has been built into the opposite wall.
You get all
The old wheelchair is resting just by the shelf.

You see a small flashlight, a glass, a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a glass jar (broken), a pamphlet, a bunch of keys, a bamboo stick, a toolbox, and a rake here. The remote control contains an AA battery.

wheelchair: The old wheelchair would be far too awkward to carry. small flashlight: You pick up the small flashlight.
glass: You pick up the glass.
butter knife: You pick up the butter knife.
green wig: You pick up the green wig.
auburn wig: You pick up the auburn wig.
blond wig: You pick up the blond wig.
black wig: You pick up the black wig.
brush: You pick up the brush.
musical score: You pick up the musical score.
ocarina: You pick up the ocarina.
remote control: You pick up the remote control.
yellow book: You pick up the yellow book.
piece of paper: You pick up the piece of paper.
framed photo: You pick up the framed photo.
glass jar: You pick up the glass jar.
pamphlet: You pick up the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You pick up the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You pick up the bamboo stick.
toolbox: You pick up the toolbox.
rake: You pick up the rake.
You play the okarna
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The toolbox slams shut.
You play okarina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The toolbox shimmers pleasantly for a moment, as if a rainbow of light is passing across it.
You play okarina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The small metal box slams shut. The toolbox vibrates for a moment in a dull, heavy way, as if it's becoming darker and more massive.
You play okarina
(play ocarina)

You tootle a few sour notes on the ocarina. The small metal door and the toolboxboth shimmer pleasantly for a moment, as if a rainbow of light is passing across them.
You look at the wheel
You push the red button, but nothing happens.

The wheel is mounted vertically on the side of the machine. A thick metal cable loops around it, extending upward through the ceiling.
Examine box
Which box do you mean, the small metal door, or the toolbox?
You pull the switch
(the large red switch)
The machinery falls silent.
You pull the switch
(the large red switch)
A low humming sound starts coming from the machinery.
You feel the machine
It feels pretty solid.
You use the rake
I don't recognize the command USE, because it's a bit too vague; please be more specific about what you want to do.
You examine the holes
Which holes do you mean, the excavations, or the ocarina?
Excavation
Holes of various sizes have been dug across the lawn, seemingly at random, as if some demented fortune-seeker were desperately seeking buried treasure. The more prosaic explanation, given the state of the back yard, is that the holes are due to energetic but incompetent gardening efforts.
Go south
The kitchen is small, and equipped with the usual appliances, including a cupboard, a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, though most of the space is taken up by the unusually bulky wooden table standing in the middle of the room. The back door leads north, while to the south is an open doorway. A flight of stairs on the west side of the
Go south
room leads down, roughly opposite the window in the east wall.

The fridge contains a large wedge of blue cheese and a stale loaf of bread.

There's an overpowering smell of over-ripe cheese.

This hall is little more than a narrow passage connecting the rooms to north and south. On the east side a flight of stairs leads up to the floor above, and there's an opening to the west, with a black button next to it at waist height.
You go south
This boxy little room is furnished in a fussy, old-fashioned style. The one modern touch is a wide-screen TV, with a couch facing it. A low coffee table sits in front of the couch, and a fireplace is set in another wall. There's a door to the south, and the open doorway to the hall is on the north.
Go south
The front door lies immediately to the north; the front yard is to the south. There's a doorbell button just by the front door.
You go south
The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.
You look at the tree
A few green leaves cling to the crooked branches of the tree, but really it looks more dead than alive. Mrs. Pepper calls it her orange tree -- in fact, one of your more memorable run-ins with her occurred when she accused you of stealing oranges from the tree. But in truth you've never seen an orange growing on the tree. The idea that it's an orange tree is purely a theory, as far as you're concerned.
You throw the rake at the the nutter
(throw rake at the outer)

The rake falls to the lawn well short of the at the end of the driveway.
You get the rake
You pick up the rake.
You examine the fence
The fence is tall, and made of solid vertical boards. Once they were painted white, but by now they're gray and a bit water-stained.
Go east
The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.
You go to the west
(first trying to stand on the trash can)
You can't stand on the can after removing the lid.
You look at the fence
The fence to the north is tall and solid. The fence to the west is somewhat lower, allowing you to look over it into the adjoining yard, where a neighbor is at work in her garden.
You get the skateboard with the rake
By groping with the rake under the porch, you manage to drag your skateboard close enough to get your hands on it -- and then you pick it up. Success!
You examine the skateboard
The flame decals are starting to peel off, but that's because you've spent so many happy hours zipping around town on your skateboard.
Go upwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, back to the back porch; south, to the hall; east, to the section of driveway beside the house; and down, to the cellar.
You go south
This hall is little more than a narrow passage connecting the rooms to north and south. On the east side a flight of stairs leads up to the floor above, and there's an opening to the west, with a black button next to it at waist height.
Go upwards
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is open.
Go south
This boxy room is mostly unfurnished. Its most interesting feature is a large pot or planter -- the sort of thing you'd expect to see a potted palm growing in. In this pot, however, is a small brownish-green person.

The door is to the north, and there's a window in the opposite wall.
You drop all
screwdriver: You set down the screwdriver.
small flashlight: You set down the small flashlight.
glass: You put the glass down carefully.
butter knife: You set down the butter knife.
green wig: You set down the green wig.
auburn wig: You set down the auburn wig.
blond wig: You set down the blond wig.

black wig:
(first taking off the black wig)
You set down the black wig.

brush: You set down the brush.
musical score: You set down the musical score.
ocarina: You set down the ocarina.
remote control: You set down the remote control.
yellow book: You set down the yellow book.
piece of paper: You set down the piece of paper.
framed photo: You set down the framed photo.
glass jar: You set down the glass jar.
pamphlet: You set down the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You set down the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You set down the bamboo stick.
toolbox: You set down the toolbox.
rake: You set down the rake.
your skateboard: You set down your skateboard.
You put the pot on the skateboard
Done.
Go downward
room leads down, roughly opposite the window in the east wall.

The fridge contains a large wedge of blue cheese and a stale loaf of bread.

There's an overpowering smell of over-ripe cheese.

The cellar is dim and dismal. A flight of stairs leads up. Near the foot of the stairs a slim chain dangles from the ceiling. Off to one side squats a heavy piece of machinery, and a plank shelf has been built into the opposite wall.

The old wheelchair is resting just by the shelf.
You get the machine
It looks impossible to move the machinery and unwise to try.
Go up
The landing runs north-south past a steel door to the west. A staircase leads down to the floor below, and there's a black button low on the west wall. Immediately to the south the bedroom door is open.

Your skateboard is lying on the floor.

The elf is standing in the pot that's on your skateboard.
You press the button
There's a short hum and then the steel door slides open.
You press the button
The steel door slides shut; a few moments later there is a brief humming noise, accompanied by a momentary sensation of lightness.
Then the steel door slides open.
You look around
The back yard is in a dreadful state. Except for a few sorry weeds, nothing grows here. Someone has dug holes of various sizes, leaving mounds of dirt and gravel everywhere. A concrete birdbath stands in the center of the yard. The back porch of the house lies directly to the south.

The driveway is off to the southeast, past the corner of the garage. The garage itself stands directly to the east.

Your skateboard is lying on the floor in the back porch.

On your skateboard is a heavy pot.

The elf is waiting for you to follow him to the southeast.
Go south
"No! No! Not that way!" the elf stops you, his voice strangely compelling, "We must go that way!" He nods towards the section of driveway beside the house.
You go to the southeast
The elf leads the way to the side of the house.

Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

You see a trash can and a trash can lid here.

The elf beckons you to follow him south along the driveway.
You go south
The elf strides ahead of you into the drive.

The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.

The elf nods towards the front yard, indicating that you are to follow him westwards.
Go west
The elf accompanies you into the front yard.

The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.

The elf stops in the middle of the front yard and nods towards the tree. "Do you see that poor bedraggled orange tree there? It hasn't borne fruit in years, and may never again, unless someone else buys this house and nurtures it back to health. But it's not quite dead, no indeed. Watch closely now."

He gestures at the nearest branch with his long, slim, gnarled fingers. As you watch, a single bud bursts forth at the end of the branch. At first no more than a tiny green nub, it swells rapidly.
In a few seconds a plump, ripe orange is hanging from the branch.

"Go ahead," says the elf. "Pick the orange and enjoy it. It's yours. Oh," he adds, handing you your skateboard, "you nearly forgot this." Before you can stammer your thanks -- before you can blurt out the dozen questions jostling in your head about what it's like being an elf, and where he came from, and whether you'll ever see him again -- the elf has somehow folded himself inward, like a fast-motion film of a growing plant when the film is run backwards. He shrinks and runs downward into the soil, and he's gone.
Go east
The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.
Go south
You're at the outer end of Mrs. Pepper's driveway, which extends to the north alongside her house. Before the house is a square of sadly neglected lawn. The sidewalk runs east and west from here, and the street is to the south.
You look at what you're carrying with you
You are carrying your skateboard.
You go east
This stretch of sidewalk runs more or less east-west between the busy street to the south and a tall, water-stained fence to the north.
Just a few yards further west the fence ends where Mrs. Pepper's driveway thrusts into the roadway.
You go to the south
There's too much traffic for you to consider crossing the street.
Go west
After taking a hurried detour to put Mrs. Pepper's possessions back where you found them, lock her house and garage, and toss the keys under the back porch, you head home, happy as can be: Not only did you meet an elf and save him from certain death, but you got your skateboard back too.
You pick the orange
The orange tree is not something you can pick. Possibly you meant to type 'pick up'.
You get orange
The orange tree is too far away.
You get orange
You pick the orange.
You eat it
You peel the orange carefully, remove a section, and bite into it. Quite possibly it's the best-tasting orange you've ever had in your life!
You throw the orange
(at Mrs. Pepper's house)
The orange hits Mrs. Pepper's house without any obvious effect, and falls to the lawn.
Go west
After taking a hurried detour to put Mrs. Pepper's possessions back where you found them, lock her house and garage, and toss the keys under the back porch, you head home, happy as can be: Not only did you meet an elf and save him from certain death, but you got your skateboard back too.
You check your inventory
You are carrying a small flashlight, a glass, a butter knife, three wigs (one green, one auburn, and one blond), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a glass jar (broken), a pamphlet, a bunch of keys, and a bamboo stick. You're wearing a black wig.
Go east
(first unlocking the garage door, then opening it)

The interior of the garage smells dank and musty. A little sunlight leaks in through cracks and knotholes, and a pile of clutter occupies one corner. A workbench runs along the wall.

A long-handled rake leans against the wall.

On the workbench is a toolbox.
You open the toolbox
The word "debris" is not necessary in this story.

Opening the toolbox reveals a screwdriver.
Examine box
The toolbox is made of metal, and has a hinged lid. Except for a few dents and dribbles of paint, it appears to be in good condition. It's open, and contains a screwdriver.
You take the screwdriver
You pick up the screwdriver.
You examine the workbench
The workbench is built along one wall of the garage. It's rather stained and nicked, as if someone used it at one time, but now it's mostly bare of tools. On the workbench is a toolbox.
You get the rake
You pick up the rake.
You take the rake
You are already carrying the rake.
You look at the rake
This is the long-handled rake that Mrs. Pepper tried to claw you with. Its long metal tines are filthy.
You look under the porch
Deep in the shadows beneath the porch, you spy your skateboard!
You get the skateboard with the rake
By groping with the rake under the porch, you manage to drag your skateboard close enough to get your hands on it -- and then you pick it up. Success!
You examine the skateboard
The flame decals are starting to peel off, but that's because you've spent so many happy hours zipping around town on your skateboard.
Go south
The back porch is a plain wooden structure, with no railing or decoration. It looks as if it was tacked onto the house as an afterthought. It's several feet above the ground, with a ramp leading up to one side. The back door leading into the house is just to the south.
You turn the screw with the screwdriver
You give the screw a little twist with the screwdriver.
You remove the screw
(from the machinery)
You can't have that; it's part of the machinery.
You examine the door
It's a small metal box, recessed into the wall behind a small gray door, and containing a large red switch. A thick cable runs up from the box to the ceiling. It's open.
You look at the switch
Which switch do you mean, the large red switch, or the small flashlight?
Large red switch
(the large red switch)
It's a large red switch, mounted on the wall in a gray box, and currently in the 'down (off)' position.
You open the metal door
The small metal box is already open.
You look at the cable
(the braided metal cable)
The thick braided metal cable loops around the wheel on the side of the machine. From both sides of the wheel, it extends upward through small holes in the ceiling.
You enter the metal door
(the ocarina)
The plastic ocarina is about the shape and color of a potato. There are a few holes across the top, and a sort of mouthpiece at one side for blowing into.

You're not an ant!
You touch the wire
The wire fails to shock you. Evidently the switch on the wall is the circuit breaker.
You drop all
small flashlight: You set down the small flashlight.
glass: You put the glass down carefully.
butter knife: You set down the butter knife.
green wig: You set down the green wig.
auburn wig: You set down the auburn wig.
blond wig: You set down the blond wig.

black wig:
(first taking off the black wig)
You set down the black wig.

brush: You set down the brush.
musical score: You set down the musical score.
ocarina: You set down the ocarina.
remote control: You set down the remote control.
yellow book: You set down the yellow book.
piece of paper: You set down the piece of paper.
framed photo: You set down the framed photo.
glass jar: You set down the glass jar.
pamphlet: You set down the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You set down the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You set down the bamboo stick.
screwdriver: You set down the screwdriver.
rake: You set down the rake.
You attach the wire to the screw
your skateboard: You set down your skateboard.

To do that, you'll need a screwdriver.
You take the screwdriver
You pick up the screwdriver.
You attach the wire to the screw
Using the screwdriver, you attach the bare metal end of the wire to the screw on the top of the machine.
You take all
wheelchair: The old wheelchair would be far too awkward to carry. small flashlight: You pick up the small flashlight.
glass: You pick up the glass.
butter knife: You pick up the butter knife.
green wig: You pick up the green wig.
auburn wig: You pick up the auburn wig.
blond wig: You pick up the blond wig.
black wig: You pick up the black wig.
brush: You pick up the brush.
musical score: You pick up the musical score.
ocarina: You pick up the ocarina.
remote control: You pick up the remote control.
yellow book: You pick up the yellow book.
piece of paper: You pick up the piece of paper.
framed photo: You pick up the framed photo.
glass jar: You pick up the glass jar.
pamphlet: You pick up the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You pick up the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You pick up the bamboo stick.
rake: You pick up the rake.
your skateboard: You pick up your skateboard.
You turn on the red switch
A low humming sound starts coming from the machinery.
You examine machine
The innards of the machine are concealed by a metal housing. On one side is a large vertically mounted wheel, around both sides of which a sturdy cable runs up through the ceiling. Not far from the cable a black-coated wire dangles down from the ceiling. The wire is attached to a screw on the top of the machine. Mounted in the north wall just behind the machine is a small metal door.
You open the door
The small metal box is already open.
You get in the door
(the bedroom door)
You can't board that.
You enter the elevator
This chamber is not much larger than a closet. The way out is to the east, next to a waist-height black button.
You go to the west
(first trying to open the steel door)
The steel door seems to be locked.
Go upwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, to the back bedroom; south, to the front bedroom; west; and down, back to the hall.
Go west
This chamber is not much larger than a closet. The way out is to the east, next to a waist-height black button.
You press the button
(the black button)
The steel door slides shut; a few moments later there is a brief humming noise, accompanied by a momentary sensation of lightness.
Then the steel door slides open.
You ask the elf about the skateboard
With some pride, you tell the elf how you got your skateboard out from under the porch using the rake. "I'm very happy for you," he says, not sounding particularly happy. "I've seen young humans racing down the walk on skateboards, and it does look like fun. But I've never been on one myself, nor am ever likely to be, since I have roots in place of feet."
You ask the elf about the elevator
"Did you know there's an elevator in this house?" you ask the elf.

"What's an elevator?" he replies. "I'm a creature of the Great Outdoors, you'll understand. I know very little about what's inside houses."

"It's ... well, it's a little room that goes up and down," you explain.

"You mean, like a bird?"

"Well, no," you admit. "An elevator isn't really very much like a bird. It's more like ... oh, never mind."
You ask the elf about the elf
"I don't know very much about ... little people," you venture. "Are you by any chance an elf?"

"Why, that I am. A good guess. Not a very important elf, though, just a common garden elf. My name is Turlix." He bows.
You ask the elf about yourself
"That's not something I know very much about," he responds. "I'm very sorry."
You ask Turlix about the mr pepper
"I'm not much of a conversationalist," he admits. "You've stumped me ... if you'll forgive the term."
You ask the elf about the mr pepper
"You humans must lead such interesting lives," the elf says. "You're just bursting with questions and comments!"
You ask the elf about the elves
"Do all garden elves live in pots in houses?" you ask. "I mean, I wouldn't have guessed."

"Oh, no," he says, shaking his head sadly. "I'm being held captive by that awful woman. It was my own fault," he says, looking chagrined. "Her garden is such a disaster, so dreadful and dismal and abysmal. Day after day I would see her out there raking, and nothing to rake but rocks! Finally, one day it was too much for me. I popped up and told her in no uncertain terms what a shameful mess she'd made of it.

"She asked for my help. Demanded it, truth be told. I told her, there's not much I can do with a garden so decrepit. I can encourage a seed to sprout, or perhaps coax a tree to bring forth a few extra blossoms, but fill a garden of gravel with flowers and vegetables? It would take a hundred elves a hundred days to do it.

"She listened to me, nodding all the while. I thought she understood. But then she did -- something, I'm not sure what, except that I think it was a magic spell that came from the absurd thing she was wearing on her head. I felt myself getting sleepy, and when I awoke I was up here in this room, in this pot, completely cut off from the soil of the Earth.

"And then she told me if I wouldn't promise to make her garden grow, she would never let me go! I told her it was beyond my poor powers, but she didn't want to believe me. Lately she's begun tormenting me by not watering me. As if that would convince me to promise something I can't possibly achieve. We elves know better than to make promises we can't keep. If you hadn't come along, I'm sure I would have dried up and blown away before another day had gone by."
You check your inventory
You are carrying a screwdriver, a small flashlight, a glass, a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a glass jar (broken), a pamphlet, a bunch of keys, a bamboo stick, a rake, and your skateboard.
You ask him about the pot
"Are you comfortable in that pot?" you ask the elf.

"Oh, it's not too bad," he replies. "It will be months before I'm root-bound, and if I can't escape from here before then I'm sure I'll be dead."
Look around
This boxy room is mostly unfurnished. Its most interesting feature is a large pot or planter -- the sort of thing you'd expect to see a potted palm growing in. In this pot, however, is a small brownish-green person.

The door is to the north, and there's a window in the opposite wall.
You look at the cupboard
It's seen better days, but it still appears functional. It's open.
You examine the cheese
The cheese is runny in some spots and dried and crusty in other spots, all at the same time. Its odor is remarkable: If it gets much riper, it'll probably come when you call it. Phewww! It smells horrible.
You take the cheese
You'd rather leave it where it is.
You open the fridge
The fridge is already open.
You look in fridge
The fridge contains a stale loaf of bread and a large wedge of blue cheese.
You look
The kitchen is small, and equipped with the usual appliances, including a cupboard, a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, though most of the space is taken up by the unusually bulky wooden table standing in the middle of the room. The back door leads north, while to the south is an open doorway. A flight of stairs on the west side of the room leads down, roughly opposite the window in the east wall.

The fridge contains a stale loaf of bread and a large wedge of blue cheese.

There's an overpowering smell of over-ripe cheese.
You examine birdbath
The gray concrete birdbath is thick and ugly. Its basin is brimming with fresh rain water.
You fill the glass with the water
You fill the glass with fresh rainwater from the birdbath.
Go upwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, to the back bedroom; south, to the front bedroom; west, to the small compartment; and down, back to the hall.
You pour the water on the elf
"Oh, I don't need any more water," the elf assures you. "I'm fine now, thanks to your very kind help!"
You ask the elf about the native soil
"Where do you usually live?" you ask the elf. "Or grow, or whatever it is you do?"

"Almost anywhere there's a bit of soil," he replies. "Even if it's gravelly or parched, I don't mind too much."
You look at the pot
The fat brown pot looks to be made of earthenware. It's full of dirt, and a small, wrinkled, brownish-green person is standing in it.
You take the dirt
You can't have that; it's part of the heavy pot.
You dig elf
What do you want to dig in him with?
You look at what you're carrying with you
You are carrying a screwdriver, a small flashlight, a glass (full of water), a butter knife, four wigs (one green, one auburn, one blond, and one black), a brush, a musical score, an ocarina, a remote control, a yellow book, a piece of paper, a framed photo, a glass jar (broken), a pamphlet, a bunch of keys, a bamboo stick, a rake, and your skateboard.
Go downwards
You can't go that way. Obvious exits lead north, to the kitchen; south, to the sitting room; west, to the small compartment; and up, back to the landing.
Go west
This chamber is not much larger than a closet. The way out is to the east, next to a waist-height black button.
You get the wheelchair
The old wheelchair would be far too awkward to carry.
You pull the wheelchair east
Something is stopping the wheelchair from moving -- probably the brake.
You look at the brake
It's just a short lever with a worn rubber grip at the end. The exposed metal part is beginning to look a bit rusty. Apparently the brake is on.
You pull the lever
You pull the brake lever to its stop.
You examine the brake
It's just a short lever with a worn rubber grip at the end. The exposed metal part is beginning to look a bit rusty. Apparently the brake is off.
You pull the wheelchair east
You can't go that way. The only obvious exit leads up, back to the kitchen.
You pull the wheelchair u.
You can hardly push the wheelchair up the stairs.
You drop the skateboard
You set down your skateboard.
You put the pot on the skateboard
(first trying to take the heavy pot)
To pick up the pot, you'll need both hands free.
You drop all
screwdriver: You set down the screwdriver.
small flashlight: You set down the small flashlight.
glass: You put the glass down carefully.
butter knife: You set down the butter knife.
green wig: You set down the green wig.
auburn wig: You set down the auburn wig.
blond wig: You set down the blond wig.
black wig: You set down the black wig.
brush: You set down the brush.
musical score: You set down the musical score.
ocarina: You set down the ocarina.
remote control: You set down the remote control.
yellow book: You set down the yellow book.
piece of paper: You set down the piece of paper.
framed photo: You set down the framed photo.
glass jar: You set down the glass jar.
pamphlet: You set down the pamphlet.
bunch of keys: You set down the bunch of keys.
bamboo stick: You set down the bamboo stick.
rake: You set down the rake.
You put the pot on the skateboard
(first taking the heavy pot)
Done.
You go to the southeast
The elf leads the way to the side of the house.

Mrs. Pepper's house lies directly to the west; the drive continues to the south, and a gravel path leads around the house to the northwest. Standing directly to the north is a detached garage.

You see a trash can and a trash can lid here.

The elf beckons you to follow him south along the driveway.
You go south
The elf strides ahead of you into the drive.

The driveway continues northward along the side of the house, and leads south out to sidewalk and beyond it the street. On the east the driveway is bordered by a high fence, and Mrs. Pepper's front yard lies to the west.

The elf nods towards the front yard, indicating that you are to follow him westwards.
Go west
The elf accompanies you into the front yard.

The front yard is mostly bare dirt and burned-out brown lawn, except for a few hardy weeds. A paved walkway crosses it, leading from the sidewalk on the south up to the front porch on the north. The driveway runs past the yard on the east side, and a tall fence guards what must be the neighbors' yard on the west. Growing next to the walkway is a scraggly, half-dead tree.

The elf stops in the middle of the front yard and nods towards the tree. "Do you see that poor bedraggled orange tree there? It hasn't borne fruit in years, and may never again, unless someone else buys this house and nurtures it back to health. But it's not quite dead, no indeed. Watch closely now."

He gestures at the nearest branch with his long, slim, gnarled fingers. As you watch, a single bud bursts forth at the end of the branch. At first no more than a tiny green nub, it swells rapidly.
In a few seconds a plump, ripe orange is hanging from the branch.

"Go ahead," says the elf. "Pick the orange and enjoy it. It's yours. Oh," he adds, handing you your skateboard, "you nearly forgot this." Before you can stammer your thanks -- before you can blurt out the dozen questions jostling in your head about what it's like being an elf, and where he came from, and whether you'll ever see him again -- the elf has somehow folded himself inward, like a fast-motion film of a growing plant when the film is run backwards. He shrinks and runs downward into the soil, and he's gone.
You look at what you're carrying with you
You are carrying your skateboard.
You get orange
You pick the orange.
You eat the orange
You peel the orange carefully, remove a section, and bite into it. Quite possibly it's the best-tasting orange you've ever had in your life!
You examine the orange
The orange is round and juicy.
You eat the orange
You finish off the last of the orange, lick your fingers, and toss the peel away. Yum!
Go south
To the north, across a sadly dried-up and decrepit yard, stands Mrs. Pepper's house. You can also go east or west along the sidewalk. The busy street is to the south. A telephone pole plastered with the scraps of old posters stands here.
Go west
After taking a hurried detour to put Mrs. Pepper's possessions back where you found them, lock her house and garage, and toss the keys under the back porch, you head home, happy as can be: Not only did you meet an elf and save him from certain death, but you got your skateboard back too.