Child's Play
Stephen Granade
child protagonist cover art cute gender-neutral protagonist goal-seeking characters I7 source available incomplete IntroComp 2006 on Jay Is Games parser Xyzzy Awards 2007 XYZZY Best NPCs
It is playgroup day and playgroup day is normally a good day but ever since that little red-haired girl started coming she always wants your toys. She shouldn't get your toys. You tried telling the mom this but she doesn't understand you. She mostly ignored you but then she just shoved a pacifier in your mouth and changed your diaper.
You cry
Suddenly the darkness is gone, and it is so light, you are blinded for just a second. You blink and blink and then you can see the mom holding the blanket she was covering you with. "Oh, kid, I'm so sorry, I thought you were having fun," she says. "We'll do something else."

That'll teach her.

A child, a toy, and a rival by Stephen Granade

All rights reserved.
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This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. But it would be bigger and vaster if there weren't all these pillows and stuff in a big ring around you. The mom is totally all paranoid and whatever, she is a new mom.

There is a red footstool, it looms over you.

The mom is playing with you and is all excited about it.

You can also see a squishy ball, a plush book, and your favorite toy here.

You eye your favorite toy and the mom sees you doing it and scoops it up. "No, no, we're going to try pulling up!" She is all the time trying to build your character or something. She waves the toy at you. "Look! Look where I'm putting it!" She drops the toy on the footstool where you can't see it unless you're all pulled up, that is just no fair.
You stand up
You try that standing thing but you are still no good at it without holding onto something so you will have to pull up on something to stand up.

The mom sits there looking at you all expectantly.
Examine book
It is plush and the mom likes to read it to you.
You pull up on the footstool
You pull yourself up and it is one hand and another hand which is hard because the footstool is all unstable and rocks some but then you are all on your feet so yay you! And now that you are up here you can see your favorite toy on the footstool.

The mom applauds, "Way to go!" She looks at her watch and is all "Whoops! Playgroup's about to arrive. You hang out here while mom goes and gets ready." She stands up and steps over all of those pillows and you are stuck here now by yourself.
You get down
Those pillows are terribly high, you can't really climb over them, and they are too big to shove. Stupid small legs. Stupid small body.
You sit down
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.
You examine the diaper
The diaper covers you and contains any embarassing accidents or whatever.
You look in the diaper
That is all you in there.
Smell diaper
You are baby powder fresh.
You take the pillows
It is true that there are a bunch of individual pillows in the ring of pillows but each one is like bigger than you are, so you aren't going to be able to take any of them. The mom and the dad must need a lot of softness in their lives.
You remove the diaper
(first taking your diaper)
The diaper is always there, it's not like there's anything you can do about it.
You climb the pillows
You can pull up on stuff and all but you can't do that climbing thing. Stupid short stubby legs.
You pull up on the pillow
They are all smooshy and that makes them too hard to pull up on.
You look around
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. But it would be bigger and vaster if there weren't all these pillows and stuff in a big ring around you.

There is a red footstool, it looms over you.

You can also see a squishy ball and a plush book here.
You get ball
You pick it up.
You shake it
You shake the squishy ball and that is okay I guess.
Examine book
It is plush and the mom likes to read it to you.
You throw the ball
Dropped.
You look at the pillows
The ring is a bunch of pillows and stuff piled around in a circle so you can't go crawling away when the mom is all distracted. The whole thing is taller than you even when you are sitting.

Hey wait, what is Alfadog doing wedged in the pillows like that?
You look at the alfadog
It is Alfadog, your alphabet-knowing toy and it is all wedged under some pillows. He is about as long as you and he is about as tall as you when you are crawling, it is as if he is your brother only he is a dog. He has this switch on him that makes him run and say the alphabet and such.
You show the book to the mom
You can only do that to something that is all alive.
You turn on the switch
You can pull up on stuff and all but you can't do that climbing thing. Stupid short stubby legs.

You are all fumbly on the switch but then you get it turned on and look out! Alfadog lights up and his paws start digging in and he is barking out "A! B! C! D! EFG!" It looks like he may be stuck under those pillows but then "L! M! N! O! P!" pillows tumble out of his way and he is free, zipping off to the east! You hear him winding down, "W X Y and Zeee....." And now there is this big gap in the pillows to the east.

That Alfadog is very powerful, he should probably be recalled.
Go east
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

You can see Alfadog and your favorite toy here.
You get the toy
You pick it up.

There is a ding-dong and the mom comes clattering in all "Hang on! I'm coming!" She opens the door and there is Marion Kinmundy here for playgroup. She is carrying that little red haired girl Zoe who started coming to playgroup a couple of whiles ago. Zoe sees your favorite toy and her eyes light up.

The mom must be psychic or something because she whirls around and snatches up your favorite toy. "Oh, no," she says with a little laugh, "we're not having you two fight over this thing again. I'll tuck it away where it'll be safe." And Marion laughs too, which is cool, that way they don't notice you and the little red haired girl glaring at each other.

She wants your toy? And the mom wants to lock the toy away? Bring it on.
Chapter 1
Playtime

Right behind Marion and Zoe the little red haired girl is Lisa who is Cassie's mom. Lisa is carrying Cassie all carefully but Cassie is squirming to get down. "Hi Farina, hi Marion--hang on Cassie, mommy's going to put you down," Lisa says and then she steps over the baby gate and dumps Cassie by the couch to the south of you.

Meanwhile the mom is putting all the pillows back on the couch and loveseat. As she finishes she asks Marion, "Can I put this toy in Zoe's backpack for now?" Marion is all "Sure!" as she puts Zoe on the floor over by the rocking chair and sits on the loveseat.
You look at the toy
This is the thing your aunt gave you which is a super fun toy. It has places to chew and places that are shiny and it rattles when you shake it.
Shake toy
Rattle rattle rattle.
You take the toy
You pick it up.

There is a ding-dong and the mom comes clattering in all "Hang on! I'm coming!" She opens the door and there is Marion Kinmundy here for playgroup. She is carrying that little red haired girl Zoe who started coming to playgroup a couple of whiles ago. Zoe sees your favorite toy and her eyes light up.

The mom must be psychic or something because she whirls around and snatches up your favorite toy. "Oh, no," she says with a little laugh, "we're not having you two fight over this thing again. I'll tuck it away where it'll be safe." And Marion laughs too, which is cool, that way they don't notice you and the little red haired girl glaring at each other.

She wants your toy? And the mom wants to lock the toy away? Bring it on.
Look around
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

You can see Alfadog here.
Examine backpack
Zoe's backpack has all these cute bears sewed on it. Clearly her mom Marion picked it out, it does not reek of evil like it would if Zoe had chosen it. It is closed so you can't see what's in it though you know your toy is in there somewhere. It is next to the gliding rocking chair to the northwest.
Go northwest
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

You can also see a smooth rock here.

Zoe is sitting in a fog of grump on the floor.

There is a ding-dong! and the mom goes and opens the front door. It is Becca and her son Jemison and some strange guy is there holding Watson Mason. "Come on in, everyone," the mom says. She turns to the strange guy, "I'm glad you could make it, Parry."

Parry shrugs and smiles and says, "I always wondered what everyone did during playgroup."

"Drink mimosas!" Becca says over her shoulder to Parry and there is polite laughter and Parry smiles like he is kinda unsure about all of this.

"Why don't you put Watson in here with the others?" the mom asks and Parry nods. He ends up putting Watson by Jemison over by the loveseat. Then all the standing adults sit down with Parry sitting near you so now I guess they are sitting adults.
You kill Zoe
There is no way the parents will believe you had nothing to do with hurting her, you'd better leave her alone for now.

Zoe scrunches up her face and bursts into wails.
Kiss zoe
Your kisses are only for your family.
You take the rock
You pick it up.
You examine the rock
The mom found this one one of your walks, well it wasn't really a walk, more like the mom driving you around in a stroller, anyway she found this rock and gave it to you.

Zoe scrunches up her face and bursts into wails.
You open the backpack
You would but Parry is rocking, rocking, rocking, and you can't reach under the rocking chair to get to the backpack while he is rocking, rocking, rocking.

Zoe screws up her face and bursts into wails, those are so baby crocodile tears.

You shove the smooth rock in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free.
You examine the rocking chair
The dad likes to sit in the chair and rock back and forth and back and forth and back and forth which is okay for napping (not that you need naps) but is not so good when you are trying to pull up on it.

Zoe clenches her tiny fists and waves them while complaining about life. "I know, Zoe," Marion says. So Parry stops rocking long enough for Marion to reach the backpack under the rocking chair and then she digs around and pulls out a plastic cup and closes the backpack and she gives the plastic cup to Zoe. Then Zoe sees that it's not your favorite toy, ha ha to her, and she squalls and tries to shove the plastic cup away but Marion says, "Shh, Zoe, be calm," and makes Zoe take it.
You put the rock under the rocking chair
That would be a good way to stop the rocking chair from rocking but it is a gliding rocking chair and so even if you put something under there it could keep gliding.

Zoe gives the plastic cup a brief chew before spitting it out with a "buh" noise.

You would but your mouth is all full.
Fuck
You don't have speech down yet.

Zoe stares at the plastic cup and she sighs.
Laugh
You would but your mouth is all full.

Marion asks Parry, "How is Shari doing?"

You pop the smooth rock out of your mouth.

"Oh, my God, Parry and Shari!" laughs Becca. "I hadn't realized that--that's just too precious."

Zoe stares at the plastic cup and she sighs.
You take the cup
Zoe shrieks at you and yanks back the plastic cup. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "No, Zoe, no!" and stops doing whatever parent thing she was doing and jumps up and pulls Zoe away from you. "I'm sorry, Farina," she tells the mom.

"She's feeling better," Parry says. "She's keeping food down now, at least."

You already have that.

Marion asks, "Oh, are you two expecting?"
You throw the rock at Zoe
There is no way, you can barely pick stuff up and you are no Cy Young or whatever.

Parry is all, "Oh, no, no, no. No. It's just the flu."

Zoe takes the plastic cup and tosses it aside.
You look at cup
This is one cup that originally came with a bunch of other cups and they were all different sizes so you could stack them up into a giant tower of cups. But there is only one cup, that is no good for stacking.

Becca goes, "You two should give Watson a brother. Toughen him up."
You go to the east
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

"Can you imagine having two?" Lisa laughs, and it's not a calm laugh, more a desperate laugh, "I'd go crazy."

These are books but boring and with no pictures. They are all probably post-modern stories of longing and loss and existential angst and whatever because books about Maisy totally are better.

(first taking the books)
The books are way big and there is no way you're picking them up or anything.
You look at the playpen
This portable playpen is all old, probably it should be recalled except that the parents are way cheap. It is this frame made of metal bars and it has mesh sides and a floor for babies to play on. The bars go around in ovals at the top and bottom. It should be recalled because the top oval is hinged and you can lower one side of the playpen by pushing the top bar up and then letting go so that the mesh comes down, that is a total deathtrap.

The mesh gives too much for you to pull yourself up on it.
You go to the southwest
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a plush book here.
You eat the book
(first taking the plush book)
The plush book is big enough that you will have to drop everything to get it because it takes two hands.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a smooth rock

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
You get the book
You pick it up and it takes two hands.
You go north
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

You can also see a little doll and a plastic cup here.

Zoe is sitting in a fog of grump on the floor.
You examine chair
The dad likes to sit in the chair and rock back and forth and back and forth and back and forth which is okay for napping (not that you need naps) but is not so good when you are trying to pull up on it.

Zoe makes this sort of grumping grunting half-cry.
You put the book under the chair
(the plush book under the gliding rocking chair)
That would be a good way to stop the rocking chair from rocking but it is a gliding rocking chair and so even if you put something under there it could keep gliding.

Becca says to the mom, "Nice job on those mimosas."

"Thanks," the mom replies.
You put the book under the feet
(the plush book under Parry)
There is no real need to do that.

Lisa says, "It's nice, they help me calm down."

Zoe makes this sort of grumping grunting half-cry.
You pull the feet
It is no good kicking or biting a parent, it is better to rebel in less obvious ways.

"And they're good for you," Marion says.
You examine Zoe
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this sundress-like jumper thing, it's not like you know fashion or anything so you're not sure exactly what it is but it leaves her arms and legs bare for speed and evil. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice.

"I'm not sure they're that good for you," Parry says.
You give the book to Zoe
(the plush book to Zoe)
Zoe shrieks at you and shoves the plush book out of your hands and hits at you. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "No, Zoe, no!" and stops doing whatever parent thing she was doing and jumps up and pulls Zoe away from you. "I'm sorry, Farina," she tells the mom.

Marion says, "They do have orange juice in them."
Drop book
Dropped.

"Besides, if it tastes good, it's good for you," says Becca.
You go west
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west except that a baby gate is in the way. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

The legs of Marion dangle from the loveseat.
You pull up on Marion
Marion says "You go play with the others now" and takes you and puts you back on the ground.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair and Marion stands up and goes to quiet her and then comes back in a second.
You examine the loveseat
The loveseat is pink and striped and tastes funny if you lick it. This is the north part of it and there is open space past it to the west that is blocked by a baby gate.
Lick loveseat
It has this funny zing to it like dust or stale cheerios.
You look around
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west except that a baby gate is in the way. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Marion is sitting there on the loveseat.
You go south
You slide along while moving your hands to keep steady.

This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Becca is sitting on the loveseat.

You can also see a rattly car here.

Jemison and Watson are here. Jemison watches you watching him. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor.
You look at Watson
Watson Mason has this big round face that is perfect for commercials and baby food labels, only his face is always tear-streaked so maybe he is not cut out for show-biz. Maybe he is sad because he is dressed like a teeny tiny engineer in his polo onesie with a collar and because he smells like baby powder.
You take the car
You cannot reach the rattly car because you are standing and if you let go with one hand you would just plop down before you could get it.

"Hey, I just realized," Becca says all loud above you, "Your name is Parry Mason!"
You examine Jemison
Jemison Thorsby's name is not one you would want, that is for sure. He is stylish in his blue onesie and he has a small mouth and these big eyes that are watching, always watching, it is kinda creepy.

"Um, yes?" Parry says.
You look at the car
It is all rattly, I guess that makes it more fun or something.

"Cool, just like the detective!" Becca says.
You hug Jemison
You have short arms, you can't reach Jemison from up here.

Parry says, "My name's actually spelled--"

"No, I think the original Perry Mason was a lawyer," Lisa says.
You sit down
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.

Parry clears his throat. "The lawyer spells his name with an e--"

"Right, lawyer, that's what I meant," Becca tells Lisa.
You check what you're carrying
Your hands are all empty.

"Let Parry finish," the mom says, but Parry just goes, "No, that's okay."
You look at the car
It is all rattly, I guess that makes it more fun or something.
Shake car
It goes rattle rattle.
Go south
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the couch.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the rattly car.
You give the car to Jemison
You give the rattly car to Jemison and he grabs it out of your hands.
You drop the car
When you drop the rattly car Jemison is all over that and he snatches it up.
You pull up on the couch
You pull up on the west grey couch and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.
Describe the surroundings
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

Lisa is sitting there on the couch.

Jemison is playing with the rattly car.
You sit
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.
You look at the couch
Grey and short and it is soft when the mom or the dad put you on it. This part is all to the west and there is more couch to the east.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
You take the car
Jemison has a grip that is like steel.
You hit Jemison
Hitting and pushing and pulling other babies when you're in front of parents is no good, they willl take you away and you won't get your toy.

"Say, how's Watson's rash doing?" Lisa asks Parry.

Parry clears his throat. "He's much better, thanks."
You look at Watson
Watson Mason has this big round face that is perfect for commercials and baby food labels, only his face is always tear-streaked so maybe he is not cut out for show-biz. Maybe he is sad because he is dressed like a teeny tiny engineer in his polo onesie with a collar and because he smells like baby powder. He is by the south end of the loveseat to the north.

The mom says, "Did you use zinc oxide cream?"
Smell Watson
Watson is by the south end of the loveseat to the north and so is way too far away for that.

"In a roundabout way," Parry says, "We used Boudreaux's butt paste."
You get the car
Jemison has a grip that is like steel.

"Ew," Becca laughs, "that is the grossest name for a product."
Go east
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Marion tells Becca, "Given what we have to deal with from our children, a name like that is the least of our worries."
You examine Jemison
Jemison Thorsby's name is not one you would want, that is for sure. He is stylish in his blue onesie and he has a small mouth and these big eyes that are watching, always watching, it is kinda creepy. He is carrying a rattly car. He is by the west end of the couch to the west.
You pull up on the couch
You pull up on the middle grey couch and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.
Go east
You slide along while moving your hands to keep steady.

You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

Cassie is all pulled up on the east grey couch.
You look at Cassie
That is Cassie Sandoval, she is wearing a white dress that is all bright against her dark skin and her hair is captured with pink clips. Her arms are scraped up and she has some bruises on her legs.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
You examine the clips
Wow those are pink.
You sit
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.
Look around
You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

Cassie is all pulled up on the east grey couch.
You examine the couch
Grey and short and it is soft when the mom or the dad put you on it. This part is the east part. The rest of the couch is west.
You pull up on the couch
You wriggle your way next to Cassie and pull up on the east grey couch and get to your feet.

Lisa all of a sudden busts out with "I know I asked this last time but does anyone else's boobs hurt? Because here lately feeding Cassie is murder."
Continue
You are already all pulled up on the east grey couch and you can't go any higher.

"Mine don't," Parry says quietly, but Becca is all "That's why I got Jemison on solids as soon as I could."
You climb the couch
You are already all pulled up on the east grey couch and you can't go any higher.

The mom asks Lisa, "Have you tried lanolin?"
You sit
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.

"You and your remedies, Farina," Lisa says. "Lanolin this and cabbage leaves that."
Go north
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

You can see Alfadog here.

"It makes me glad Zoe was so good at latching on," Marion says. Grr, Zoe.
You turn on Alfadog
You make a move towards the switch on Alfadog and the mom grabs you and says, "We're not playing with Alfadog right now, kiddo. We're working on pulling up."

Lisa sighs and says, "Maybe I'll try the lanolin," and the mom says, "Let us know how it works."
You open the doors
You push on the doors to the entertainment center but the parents have them all fixed in place.
You look through the doors
There is stereo equipment behind the glass doors and there is a big TV all tall up there on the entertainment center.
Southwest part
This portable playpen is all old, probably it should be recalled except that the parents are way cheap. It is this frame made of metal bars and it has mesh sides and a floor for babies to play on. The bars go around in ovals at the top and bottom. It should be recalled because the top oval is hinged and you can lower one side of the playpen by pushing the top bar up and then letting go so that the mesh comes down. It is in the middle of the living room to the west.
Go west
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a smooth rock here.
You pull up on the playpen
The mesh gives too much for you to pull yourself up on it.
You look in the playpen
The southwest part of the playpen is empty.
You go to the north-east
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.
Lift bar
(with the northeast part of the playpen)
You have short arms, you can't reach the top oval from down here.
You examine the mesh
This portable playpen is all old, probably it should be recalled except that the parents are way cheap. It is this frame made of metal bars and it has mesh sides and a floor for babies to play on. The bars go around in ovals at the top and bottom. It should be recalled because the top oval is hinged and you can lower one side of the playpen by pushing the top bar up and then letting go so that the mesh comes down.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
You go north
That baby gate is completely in your way.
Go west
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

You can also see a plush book here.

Zoe is sitting in a fog of grump on the floor.
You examine the fog
Boy, Zoe is grumpy.

Zoe makes this sort of coughing hiccuping half-cry.
You look at Parry
That is Parry Mason, he is Watson Mason's dad. Normally Watson's mom Shari is here but she must be somewhere else so that is why Parry is here.
You climb Parry
As soon as you have pulled up on the gliding rocking chair Parry looks down and says "Hey, there, you want to be picked up?" and he lifts you into his lap and stops rocking. If you were on the ground you could get to the backpack now.
Inventory
Your hands are all empty.
Poop
See for you to do that on command you'd have to be potty trained and you are not, that is just another way the man controls you.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor and starts rocking again.
You spit on Zoe
It may be normal little baby behavior to drool and spit up all over parents and other babies but you are like eleven months old and now it would be unseemly.

Zoe makes this sort of coughing grunting half-sob.
Go south
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a smooth rock here.
You get the rock
You pick it up.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
You go west
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Those are Becca's legs by the loveseat.

Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor.
Go south
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the couch.

Jemison is all chewing on the rattly car.
You drop rock
Dropped.
You get rock
When Jemison sees you take the smooth rock, his eyes light up and he lets go of a rattly car and starts watching the smooth rock and thus yourself.
Go north
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Those are Becca's legs by the loveseat.

Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the smooth rock.

Watson pulls up on Becca who says "Watch the pants, kid!" and she laughs and puts him back on the floor.
Go north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west except that a baby gate is in the way. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

The legs of Marion dangle from the loveseat.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the smooth rock.
You go east
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

You can also see a plush book here.

Zoe has hold of a soft foam block all sadly.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the smooth rock.

Zoe looks at the soft foam block and she sighs.
You give the rock to Zoe
Zoe shrieks at you and shoves the smooth rock out of your hands and hits at you. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "No, Zoe, no!" and stops doing whatever parent thing she was doing and jumps up and pulls Zoe away from you. "I'm sorry, Farina," she tells the mom.

Jemison suddenly sees that the smooth rock is available and he scoops it up.
You take the block
Zoe shrieks at you and yanks back the soft foam block. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "No, Zoe, no!" and stops doing whatever parent thing she was doing and jumps up and pulls Zoe away from you. "I'm sorry, Farina," she tells the mom.

Watson wanders in from the southwest.
You look at the block
Magenta and soft and fun to chew. It is like one hand wide on a side.

Zoe drops the soft foam block and shoves it away from her. When Jemison sees Zoe drop the soft foam block he gets rid of a smooth rock and takes the soft foam block instead.
You take the rock
When Jemison sees you pick up the smooth rock, he gets all excited and he drops a soft foam block and starts watching the smooth rock and thus yourself.
You give the rock to Parry
He is too busy with talking and adults and other stuff.

Zoe scrunches up her face and bursts into wails.
You drop the rock
When you drop the smooth rock Jemison is all over that and he snatches it up.

Zoe scrunches up her face and bursts into wails.

Watson gingerly takes the plush book. When Jemison sees Watson take the plush book, his eyes light up and he drops a smooth rock and starts watching the plush book and thus Watson.
You take the block
When Jemison sees you take the soft foam block, his eyes light up and he forgets all about the plush book and he starts watching the soft foam block and thus yourself.
You put the block under the chair
That would be a good way to stop the rocking chair from rocking but it is a gliding rocking chair and so even if you put something under there it could keep gliding.
Go southeast
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

You can see Alfadog here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the soft foam block.
Go south
You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

Cassie is all pulled up on the east grey couch.

Cassie moves hand over hand along the east grey couch to the west and is gone.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the soft foam block.
You put the block in the mouth
You shove the soft foam block in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free.
You pull up on the couch
You pull up on the east grey couch and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the soft foam block.
You go west
You slide along while moving your hands to keep steady.

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

The mom is sitting on the couch.

Cassie has hold of the squishy ball and keeps fiddling with it.

Cassie crawls off to the northwest.

Jemison comes in from the east.
You sit
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
Go northwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Those are Becca's legs by the loveseat.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the soft foam block.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the soft foam block.
You examine Cassie
That is Cassie Sandoval, she is wearing a white dress that is all bright against her dark skin and her hair is captured with pink clips. Her arms are scraped up and she has some bruises on her legs. She is carrying a squishy ball. She is next to the gliding rocking chair to the northeast.
Go northeast
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

You can also see a smooth rock here.

Cassie and Watson and Zoe are here. Cassie has hold of the squishy ball and keeps shaking it. Watson is holding the plush book. Zoe has hold of a teeny squeezy book all sadly.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the soft foam block.

Zoe looks at the teeny squeezy book and she sighs.

Cassie offers the squishy ball to Zoe and Zoe shrieks and shoves and kicks at the squishy ball and at Cassie. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says, "No, Zoe, no!" and stops doing whatever parent thing she was doing and jumps up and pulls Zoe away from Cassie. "Sorry about Zoe's behavior," she says all apologetically.
You take clips
Cassie has a grip that is like steel.

Watson puts down the plush book.
You give the block to Cassie
You show the soft foam block to Cassie who looks at it and then shows you the squishy ball in response.

Cassie chews on the squishy ball.

Jemison stares at you and waits for you to drop the soft foam block.
You pull up on Parry
As soon as you have pulled up on the gliding rocking chair Parry looks down and says "Hey, there, you want to be picked up?" and he lifts you into his lap and stops rocking. And then Jemison pulls up on the gliding rocking chair and looks up at you and grunts softly.

Zoe takes the teeny squeezy book and shakes it half-heartedly, she is so bored with it.
Go downward
You wriggle and fuss a bit and Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor. He then is all "And now it's your turn" and he picks Jemison up but Jemison makes a big fuss and Parry is all, "Whoa! Whoa!" and Becca laughs and says, "Jemison gets that way sometimes." Parry smiles weakly and puts Jemison back down and Jemison looks pointedly at the soft foam block. Then Parry starts rocking again.

Zoe shakes the teeny squeezy book half-heartedly.

Cassie tries giving the squishy ball to Jemison but Jemison ignores the offer.

Watson picks up the smooth rock.
You drop the toy
You can't really do anything to your toy right now because it is in that backpack.

Cassie pops the squishy ball out of her mouth.

Cassie pops the squishy ball out of her mouth.
You look at what you're carrying with you
You are carrying:
a soft foam block (being chewed)

Zoe puts the teeny squeezy book in her mouth and gnaws it some but then she lets it fall out of her mouth.
You drop the block
(popping the soft foam block out of your mouth first)
The soft foam block falls into Parry's lap.

Zoe shakes the teeny squeezy book half-heartedly.

Watson gingerly takes the smooth rock.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor. He then is all "And now it's your turn" and he picks Jemison up.
You open the backpack
When you open the backpack all you can see in it is this white onesie that is totally in your way.

Zoe sees you open that backpack and she gets agitated and tosses the teeny squeezy book aside.

Cassie chews on the squishy ball.
You get onesie
You pull on the onesie and it comes part of the way out of the backpack and then it gets hung on the backpack zipper. Great. Now it is blocking the backpack and it is also stuck.

Cassie stops chewing the squishy ball and spits it into her hands.

Cassie pops the squishy ball out of her mouth.
You get the onesie
You tug on that stupid onesie but it is stuck in the stupid backpack's stupid zipper.

Zoe shrieks angrily and bounces up and down and flails her arms in the general direction of the backpack that you opened. "I know, Zoe," Marion says. So Marion reaches the backpack under the rocking chair and she sees the white onesie stuck in the backpack. "Geez," she says and pulls out a teething ring and dumps it in Zoe's lap. Zoe gets all upset but Marion says, "Shh, Zoe, be calm, I can't fix the backpack if you're fussing." Parry says, "Here, I'll empty out the backpack and fix that for you" but Marion says "No, thanks," and she sits down and starts trying to get the onesie out of the backpack.

Watson puts down the smooth rock.
You pull up on Marion
Marion is over by the north end of the loveseat to the west and so is way too far away for that.

Cassie plays with the squishy ball.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go" to Jemison who scrabbles around and grabs the soft foam block. Parry gently lowers Jemison to the floor and starts rocking again.

There is this rattle rattle and your head snaps up and you look way over at the loveseat and see Marion start to pull your favorite toy out of the backpack and then she looks at you and then she looks at Zoe and she puts the toy back in the backpack.
Go west
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west except that a baby gate is in the way. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Marion is on the loveseat with Zoe's backpack and your toy.
You take the toy
You can't really do anything to your toy right now because it is in that backpack.

Marion stands up and walks over to the gliding rocking chair and then she is back only now she doesn't have the backpack any more.
You go east
(first letting go of the north pink striped loveseat and plopping on the ground)

The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

You can also see a soft foam block, a smooth rock, and a teeny squeezy book here.

Jemison and Cassie and Watson and Zoe are here. Jemison is playing with the plush book. Cassie has hold of the squishy ball and keeps fiddling with it. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor. Zoe has hold of a teething ring loosely.
You take it
When Jemison sees you pick up the teeny squeezy book, he gets all excited and he drops a plush book and starts watching the teeny squeezy book and thus yourself.

Zoe gives the teething ring a brief chew or two.
You put it in the mouth
You shove the teeny squeezy book in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free.

Watson takes the smooth rock.
You get the ring
Zoe shrieks at you and yanks back the teething ring. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "No, Zoe, no!" and stops doing whatever parent thing she was doing and jumps up and pulls Zoe away from you. "I'm sorry, Farina," she tells the mom.

Zoe takes the teething ring and shakes it half-heartedly, she is so bored with it.

Cassie plays with the squishy ball.

Watson holds the smooth rock at arm's length as if it might bite him.
You pull up on Parry
As soon as you have pulled up on the gliding rocking chair Parry looks down and says "Hey, there, you want to be picked up?" and he lifts you into his lap and stops rocking. And then Jemison pulls up on the gliding rocking chair and looks up at you and grunts softly.
You drop teeny
(popping the teeny squeezy book out of your mouth first)
The teeny squeezy book falls into Parry's lap.
You go downwards
You wriggle and fuss a bit and Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor. He then is all "And now it's your turn" and he picks Jemison up.
You open the backpack
When you open the backpack all you can see in it is this white onesie that is totally in your way.

Zoe sees you open that backpack and she gets agitated and tosses the teething ring aside.

Cassie chews on the squishy ball.
You take the onesie
You pull on the onesie and it comes part of the way out of the backpack and then it gets hung on the backpack zipper. Great. Now it is blocking the backpack and it is also stuck.

Watson fiddles with the smooth rock.
You look at the zipper
You see nothing special about the zipper.

Zoe shrieks angrily and bounces up and down and flails her arms in the general direction of the backpack that you opened. That makes Marion laugh and she says, "Parry, if you don't mind?" So Marion reaches the backpack under the rocking chair and she sees the white onesie stuck in the backpack. "Geez," she says and pulls out a plastic cup and dumps it in Zoe's lap. Zoe gets all upset but Marion says, "Shh, Zoe, be calm, I can't fix the backpack if you're fussing." Parry says, "Here, I'll empty out the backpack and fix that for you" but Marion says "No, thanks," and she sits down and starts trying to get the onesie out of the backpack.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go" to Jemison who scrabbles around and grabs the teeny squeezy book. Parry gently lowers Jemison to the floor and starts rocking again.
You take the onesie
You tug on that stupid onesie but it is stuck in the stupid backpack's stupid zipper.

Zoe shrieks angrily and bounces up and down and flails her arms in the general direction of the backpack that you opened. Marion says "Okay, Zoe, okay" and laughs and says "Excuse me, Parry, I need to get a toy from Zoe's backpack. Again." So Marion reaches the backpack under the rocking chair and she sees the white onesie stuck in the backpack. "Geez," she says and pulls out a little doll and dumps it in Zoe's lap. Zoe gets all upset but Marion says, "Shh, Zoe, be calm, I can't fix the backpack if you're fussing." Parry says, "Here, I'll empty out the backpack and fix that for you" but Marion says "No, thanks," and she sits down and starts trying to get the onesie out of the backpack.

Cassie stops chewing the squishy ball and spits it into her hands.

Cassie pops the squishy ball out of her mouth.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go" to Jemison who scrabbles around and grabs the teeny squeezy book. Parry gently lowers Jemison to the floor and starts rocking again.
Go west
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west except that a baby gate is in the way. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Marion is on the loveseat with Zoe's backpack and your toy.

There is this rattle rattle and your head snaps up and see Marion start to pull your favorite toy out of the backpack and then she looks at you and then she looks at Zoe and she puts the toy back in the backpack.
You pull up on Marion
Marion says, "Sorry, I've got my hands full with this backpack," and gently lowers you back to the ground with a pat on your back.
You go east
(first letting go of the north pink striped loveseat and plopping on the ground)

The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

You can also see a teething ring, a plush book, and a soft foam block here.

Jemison and Cassie and Watson and Zoe are here. Jemison is all chewing on the teeny squeezy book. Cassie has hold of the squishy ball and keeps fiddling with it. Watson is holding the smooth rock. Zoe has hold of a little doll loosely.

Watson puts down the smooth rock. Jemison sees Watson get rid of the smooth rock and is all excited, at least as excited as he gets, and gets rid of a teeny squeezy book and takes the smooth rock instead.

A shadow falls over you and it is Marion with the backpack. Parry stops rocking and Marion shoves the backpack back under the gliding rocking chair.
You look around
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet are flat on the floor and he is not rocking right now because he is holding Jemison all gingerly.

You can also see a smooth rock, a teeny squeezy book, and a plush book here.

Cassie and Watson and Zoe are here. Cassie has hold of the squishy ball and keeps fiddling with it. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor. Zoe has hold of a teething ring all sadly.

Cassie plays with the squishy ball.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go" to Jemison who scrabbles around and grabs the soft foam block. Parry gently lowers Jemison to the floor and starts rocking again.

There is this rattle rattle and your head snaps up and you look way over at the loveseat and see Marion start to pull your favorite toy out of the backpack and then she looks at you and then she looks at Zoe and she puts the toy back in the backpack.
You take the plush book
When Jemison sees you pick up the plush book, he gets all excited and he gets rid of a soft foam block and starts watching the plush book and thus yourself.

Zoe tosses the teething ring aside.
You take the plush book
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

Zoe tosses the teething ring aside.

Cassie gives the squishy ball a shake.

Watson picks up the smooth rock.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go" to Jemison who scrabbles around and grabs the soft foam block. Parry gently lowers Jemison to the floor and starts rocking again.

There is this rattle rattle and your head snaps up and you look way over at the loveseat and see Marion start to pull your favorite toy out of the backpack and then she looks at you and then she looks at Zoe and she puts the toy back in the backpack.
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a plush book
You give the book to Zoe
(the plush book to Zoe)
Zoe shrieks at you and shoves the plush book out of your hands and hits at you. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "Parry, here," and shoves the backpack at Parry who takes it. "Can you get that onesie out of the way?" Parry just nods and digs in the backpack and pulls out your favorite toy and dumps it in his lap! Then he starts tugging the onesie this way and that to free it from the implacable jaws of the backpack zipper. Meanwhile Marion shushes Zoe before sitting back on the loveseat.

Watson puts down the smooth rock. When Jemison sees Watson get rid of the smooth rock he drops a soft foam block and takes the smooth rock instead.
You pull up on Parry
As soon as you have pulled up on the gliding rocking chair Parry looks down and says "Hey, there, you want to be picked up?" and he lifts you into his lap and stops rocking.

Watson gingerly takes the soft foam block. When Jemison sees Watson pick up the soft foam block, he gets all excited and he lets go of a smooth rock and starts watching the soft foam block and thus Watson.
You get the toy
You pick it up.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor, right next to Zoe. Zoe looks over and sees what you have in your hands and she goes totally nuts, she is shrieking and waving her fists and if she had Force powers you would totally be choked right now.

And of course Zoe acting out gets Marion and the mom to pay attention and Marion is all "Hey, hey, Zoe, calm down!" and the mom is all "Oh, gosh, they managed to get that toy out of the backpack." So the jig is up where by "the jig" I mean the toy and by "up" I mean going away.
Swallow toy
And it's just like you expected. The mom scoops you and the toy up and the two of you dangle in mid-air while she removes the baby gate by the loveseat and goes around behind the loveseat. There's a cabinet back there, she pushes down the baby lock at the top of the cabinet door and opens the door and in goes your toy.

You would be all into getting the toy back except everyone decides now is the time to have a snack so a bunch of toys get piled in that small open area in the living room and you and Zoe and Cassie and Watson and Jemison are dragged into the kitchen and out comes the food.

Your high chair is not way super high since it only gets you up to the level of the kitchen table but that is still pretty high. It lets you see around the table which is better than when you are on the floor and cannot even see the top of the table.

The mom is hovering around you.

In front of you is this spoon full of food that the mom wants you to eat.

You can also see Becca, Parry, Lisa, and Marion here.

Jemison and Watson and Cassie and Zoe are here. They are all being fed.
Puke
You start to spit up but the mom is right there wiping up your spit.

Becca says, "Farina, I know you're not feeding that child chopped-up people food." Meanwhile, Cassie is trying to climb out of her chair so she can fall to the floor and Lisa is restraining her.
You eat food
You open your mouth and the mom spoons in the prunes. Yeuch. And if that isn't bad enough, the spoon goes away and comes back with more prunes! You are just like Sisyphus here.

"It's no different than canned baby food," the mom tells Becca. Meanwhile, Watson is spitting up and Parry is looking sad that he's going to have to change Watson's clothes.
You eat the food
You open your mouth and the mom spoons in the prunes. Yeuch. And if that isn't bad enough, the spoon goes away and comes back with more prunes!

"Really?" Lisa says. "I'd be worried that I'd give Cassie something that'd hurt her." Meanwhile, Zoe is demanding more food. Grr, Zoe.
You cry
The mom says, "I know you don't like them, but prunes are good for you."

"Kids can eat nearly anything you can if it's pureed," says Marion. Meanwhile, the mom is saying, "Here! Take a bite!"
Scream
The mom says, "I know you don't like them, but prunes are good for you."

"Weird," Becca says. "Then why buy special baby food at all?" Meanwhile, Jemison is taking bits of food and dropping them over his high chair and then watching them hit the floor.
Rock
You rock and rock and try to tip your chair over but it is too safely designed. The mom must read Consumer Reports or something.

"Well," says Parry, "Sometimes it's really convenient to have a jar for Mason so--whoops!" And then you stop paying attention to him because he spilled a teeny bowl of Cheerios and you and all the other babies are all staring at the spray of Cheerios.
You play with Cheerios
With you strapped into your high chair you cannot reach the pile of Cheerios.

Jemison reaches for the Cheerios but they are way too far away.
Go down
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
You are all strapped into your high chair so you are going nowhere.

Cassie rocks hard in her seat, maybe she thinks she can tip over to get to the Cheerios.

Finally all of this feeding is over and the Cheerios get put away and everyone gets wiped up with baby wipes before getting dumped back in the living room.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a tall plastic block here.
You examine the block
It is blue and it is about as wide as you are and tall as your head is high when you are pulled up.
You pull up on the block
You pull up on the tall plastic block and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.

You hear Watson cry loudly.
You examine the medium block
It is green and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are sitting down. It is by the south end of the loveseat to the west.

You hear Watson cry loudly.
You sit
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.

You hear Watson cry loudly.
You look around
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a tall plastic block here.
You go south
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls. The velcro jangly balls hang off of him.
You examine the balls
They are all silver and jangly with velcro on the end of them and they dangle off of Jemison.

Jemison reaches around to the jangly balls and pats at them and they jangle quietly.
You look at the block
So which do you mean, the short plastic block, the soft foam block, the tall plastic block, or the medium plastic block?
Medium
It is green and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are sitting down. It is by the south end of the loveseat to the northwest.

You hear Watson cry loudly, boy is he angry.
You examine the short block
It is red and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are crawling around. It is in that small open area to the northeast.
Go northwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

You can see a medium plastic block here.

Parry says to Marion and the mom, "Your two kids really love that one toy."
Go northeast
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a short plastic block (on which is Cassie), a little doll, a much-loved kangaroo, a plastic cup, a soft foam block, and a squishy ball here.

"I always thought that kind of competition wouldn't happen until Zoe was two or so," Marion says.

Cassie climbs down off of the short plastic block.
You get on the short block
You start out pulling up on the block but it is so short you fall forward onto it and then you are sitting on it a little ways above the ground.

"I don't know what I'll do if Cassie ends up grabbing toys from other kids," Lisa says.
You look at Becca
Becca is Jemison's mom, she is as loud as Jemison is quiet and that is very loud. Or very quiet. Anyway, that is Becca. She is next to the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Marion says, "You'll watch for it and redirect Cassie and the other kid. When Cassie's older, you'll punish her."

You see Parry stand up and he goes over to where the TV is and the swing is and he does something that probably involves Watson before he sits down again.
You get on the medium block
(getting off the short plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

"Oh," Lisa says, "I couldn't spank Cassie."

Zoe stalks off to the west.
You get on tall block
(getting off the medium plastic block)
You clamber up onto the tall plastic block, you are getting so high.

"You don't have to spank her," the mom says and Marion chimes in, "Farina's right. You'll figure out what Cassie's levers are and you'll pull them."
Describe the surroundings
Middle of the Living Room (on the tall plastic block)
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block and a medium plastic block here.

Lisa sounds all puzzled, "What do you mean?"
Open playpen
You push on the side of the oval closest to you and it goes up a bit and clicks but when you let go it drops back into place. I guess you need to push up the oval at both ends of the playpen at the same time.

Marion says, "As outgoing as Cassie is, you can try sending her to her room, or you can take away something she likes or likes to do. Figure out what she values. That's where you apply pressure."
Go downwards
(getting off the tall plastic block)
The tall block is way tall and you would hurt yourself if you tried to get down from it directly so instead you climb onto the medium block.

"Oh, okay," Lisa says, but you can tell she is not convinced.
Go downward
You get off the medium plastic block.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.
Go northeast
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a little doll, a much-loved kangaroo, a plastic cup, and a squishy ball here.

Cassie has hold of the soft foam block and keeps fiddling with it.

Cassie tosses the soft foam block up and it falls.
Love the kangaroo
Nothing obvious happens.

Cassie crawls off to the southwest.
You take the foam block
You pick it up.
Go southwest
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block (on which is Cassie), a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.

Cassie climbs onto the medium plastic block.
You put the foam in the mouth
You shove the soft foam block in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free.

Cassie climbs onto the tall plastic block.
Go up
You so can't go that way.

Cassie giggles and leaps off of the tall block and that would be okay if she didn't then smack her face into the floor. Cassie shrieks, it is the loudest you have ever heard her be. I guess she is not the super-tough baby she thinks she is. Anyway Lisa leaps up and runs to Cassie and Parry leaves his tumbler and runs to Cassie too, they scatter the plastic blocks around the room in their haste. "Baby, baby, it's okay, shh," you hear Lisa saying and then Parry is also checking Cassie over and shining this little flashlight in her eyes and saying, "I think she's okay, she's just scared. Her pupillary response is just fine."
You look at the tall block
It is blue and it is about as wide as you are and tall as your head is high when you are pulled up.

Lisa is still saying "It'll be okay, Cassie, it'll be okay" and Parry is saying "Breathe, Cassie, breathe" and Cassie is now taking big hiccuping breaths.
You examine the medium block
It is green and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are sitting down. It is over by the north end of the loveseat to the northwest.
You go to the north-west
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Hey, that baby gate that blocked your way west is all gone.

You can see a medium plastic block here.

Zoe stalks in from the south and settles near you.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats.
You go west
Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Zoe stalks in from the east and settles near you.
You look at the door
It is big and wood and goes outside.
Go south
The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a heavy tumbler.

You can't believe the mom just shoved your favorite toy in that cabinet so you couldn't have it.

Zoe stalks in from the north and settles near you.
You look at the cabinet
The cabinet is wood like a lot of other furniture in here because the parents like wood or something, maybe they are tree huggers but only if the trees have been cut down and planed and shaped. Anyway it has this door in it which is closed and on top is a heavy tumbler.
You open the cabinet
You tug on the door but it has one of those baby lock things on it that you have to push down to open the door and you cannot reach it at all so the door opens a tiny bit and you can barely see your favorite toy in there.

Then Zoe falls forward and pushes against the door and it slams shut.

Lisa looks over the couch at you and at Zoe and she says, "Awwww, they're playing together! How cute!"

"Cassie is really pulling up well," the mom tells Lisa.
You examine the tumbler
The tumbler is thick glass and it holds water, it is left over from Parry snacking. It is way up on the cabinet.

"We've been working on pulling up," the mom says, boy is she going to be surprised by all the practice you're getting today.
You look at the lock
You cannot really see the baby lock when the cabinet door is closed but you know what it looks like, it is a plastic latch way up at the top of the door. If you push down on the plastic latch then you can open the door which is a laugh because you are way short and it is way high.

Lisa says, "You're just annoyed that Jemison just sits there--" but Becca keeps on talking, "So your kid pulls up or cruises or whatever. Big deal!"
You go to the north
Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Parry says, "Kids develop at different speeds. It's not as if I'll still be helping Watson pull up when he goes to college."
Go east
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the loveseat.

You can also see a medium plastic block here.

"As long as Zoe doesn't fall too far behind, I'm not worried," Marion says.
You go south
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

"Yeah," Parry says. "It won't bother me if Watson is like many boys and is slower to talk."
You go south
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can also see a short plastic block and a rattly car here.

Cassie is looking around for mischief to make.

You can just see some paper beyond the footstool.

"As long as Cassie is ahead of where she's supposed to be, I won't worry either," Lisa says.
You examine paper
It is a tiny folded piece of paper. It is tucked behind the footstool.

Cassie climbs onto the short plastic block.
You take paper
The folded piece of paper is tucked behind the footstool and so is way too far away for that.

Cassie climbs down off of the short plastic block.
You look at the footstool
The footstool is up in a corner, there is only a small gap between it and the couch with more couch past it to the west. Beyond it past the gap between the footstool and the couch you can see this little piece
Go east
of paper.

Cassie climbs onto the short plastic block.

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls. The velcro jangly balls hang off of him.

Jemison reaches around to the jangly balls and pats at them and they go jangle jangle jangle.
You take the balls
You tug on the velcro jangly balls and you tug some more and they come off of Jemison with a rrrrrrrip sound and Jemison looks at you with sad sad eyes and then stares at the velcro balls.

Watson wanders in from the north.
Wear the balls
You put on the velcro jangly balls.
Go west
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can also see a short plastic block and a rattly car here.

Cassie is looking around for mischief to make.

Jemison comes in after you.
Go west
Crawling like you are there is no way you will fit in the narrow gap between the footstool and the couch, it is because you have the shoulders of a very small linebacker.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You pull up
You'll have to say what you want to pull up on.
You pull up on the stool
You pull up on the footstool and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You go to the west
There is just enough space for you to slide between the footstool and the couch so you cruise along the couch past the footstool and into the tiny space back there.

There is not a lot of room back here behind the footstool, you fill most of the space between the footstool and the couch and this wood cabinet that is acting like an endtable.

There is a red footstool, it is all close to you.

There is this tiny folded piece of paper shoved under the cabinet.
You look at the paper
It is a tiny folded piece of paper that is all shoved under the wood cabinet.
You get the paper
You tug and tug and tug and then you see Parry's hand reach over you and remove the tumbler from on top of the cabinet where it was and pop! the folded paper comes out from under the wood cabinet and the cabinet goes rock rock rock. It is a good thing Parry was thirsty right now.

Becca is still all sipping on a mimosa and she says, "Hey, hospitals should give us mimosas to go with our epidurals."
You read the paper
It must be nice to read, the mom and the dad are always doing it, but you do not yet know how.

The mom laughs, "Becca, you didn't even get an epidural."
You examine paper
It is a tiny folded piece of paper.

Becca just smiles while Lisa says, "I still can't believe you did that."
Unfold paper
It is really folded and creased from being under the cabinet and your fingers are too stubby.

"It wasn't too hard," Becca says. "I just screamed a lot and hit Kurt when the pain got really bad."
Unfold paper
It is really folded and creased from being under the cabinet and your fingers are too stubby.

"The trick," Marion says, "is to relax into the pain instead of anticipating it and tensing up."
You put the paper in the mouth
You would but your mouth is all full.

Lisa sighs and says, "My epidural stopped working."
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a folded piece of paper
some velcro jangly balls (being worn)
a soft foam block (being chewed)

"What?" Becca asks. "I hadn't heard that."
You pull up on the stool
You have stuff in your hands and you will need those hands to pull yourself up so drop something I guess.

"Yeah", says Lisa, "I got my epidural and then they turned me on my side. The next thing I knew I was feeling everything, and I mean everything, on my left side."
Rock
You are already totally rocking.

Parry pipes up, "You know, it's a shame that the anesthesiologist makes you hunch forward so he can slide the needle into your spine just when contractions make you want to flatten out."
Go north
Really there is only one way out of this teeny space and that is to pull up and cruise on out to the east.
You pull up
You'll have to say what you want to pull up on.
You drop the paper
steady except for the occasional sway.

You have short arms, you can't reach the folded piece of paper from up here.
Go east
You slide back out into the big wild world.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is all close to you.

There is Parry on the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler, a short plastic block, and a rattly car here.

Cassie and Watson and Jemison are here. Cassie is looking around for mischief to make. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor. Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls.

Zoe stalks in from the east and settles near you.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You go north
(first letting go of the footstool and plopping on the ground)
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Zoe stalks in from the south and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you.
Go north
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the loveseat.

You can also see a medium plastic block here.

Zoe stalks in from the south and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you.
Go west
You jangle your way out of the room.

Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Zoe stalks in from the east and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you.
Go south
You jangle your way out of the room.

The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a paper coaster.

Zoe stalks in from the north and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you.

"You've all picked out preschools, right?" Becca says.
Rock
You are already totally rocking.

"Oh my God, it's almost too late!" Lisa says, and Becca chimes in, "Competition for the good preschools is fierce."
You pull up on the cabinet
You can't pull up on the wood cabinet to stand.

Parry says, "We've looked at some, but really we're just after somewhere where Watson can have more socialization."

Jemison reaches out and pokes at the velcro jangly balls.
You remove the balls
The bells go rrrrrrrrip and pull off.

"Cassie is in preschool one day a week," says Lisa. "I can already tell that she's learning faster because of it."
You give the balls to Jemison
You give the velcro jangly balls to Jemison and he grabs them out of your hands and sticks them onto his onesie.

Becca agrees, "I'm going to make sure Jemison has three or four legs up educationally."
You pull up on loveseat
You tug on the door and the baby lock on the door catches and the entire cabinet rocks towards you now that there is no paper under it and your favorite toy rattles around in there. This paper coaster that must have been under the tumbler slides forward like it's about to fall off the cabinet.

Then Zoe shoves the door and the cabinet rocks back making the coaster slide back fully on top of the cabinet and the door closes.

You can totally hear Marion's frown when she says, "I'm not interested in pushing Zoe like that."

The back loveseat is behind the loveseat to the north and so is way too far away for that.

"It's not pushing," Becca sniffs. "It's making sure our kids live up to their potential."

Jemison jiggles the jangly balls and they go jangle jangle jangle.
You take the balls
You tug on the velcro jangly balls and you tug some more and they come off of Jemison with a rrrrrrrip sound and Jemison looks at you with sad sad eyes and then stares at the velcro balls.

"Still," Marion says, and the conversation kinda peters out.
Look around
The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a paper coaster.

Jemison and Zoe are here. Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls which you are holding. Zoe has her eye on you (not literally).
You go to the north
You jangle your way out of the room.

Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You go east
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the loveseat.

You can also see a medium plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You climb on the medium block
The block is just short enough that you cannot pull yourself up on it and tall enough that you cannot really climb up on it from the floor.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
Go north
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

There are Becca's legs, they are by the rocking chair.

You can also see a plush book, a teeny squeezy book, a smooth rock, and a teething ring here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You spit up on Jemison
You would but your mouth is all full.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
some velcro jangly balls
a soft foam block (being chewed)
Show balls to Jemison
He makes this motion towards the velcro jangly balls and you pull it away, ha ha, this is like taking candy away from a you.
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
some velcro jangly balls
a soft foam block (being chewed)

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You look
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

There are Becca's legs, they are by the rocking chair.

You can also see a plush book, a teeny squeezy book, a smooth rock, and a teething ring here.

Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls which you are holding.

Jemison reaches out and pokes at the velcro jangly balls.
Go east
You jangle your way out of the room.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a little doll, a much-loved kangaroo, a plastic cup, and a squishy ball here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

The mom asks the other parent people, "Do any of you have a suggestion for a baby sitter?" W. T. F.
Go south
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

The mom goes on, "We've got a Christmas party to go to in a month or so, and we've never used a babysitter before." No, really--W. T. F.???
You go to the west
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a medium plastic block and a tall plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Marion says, "Didn't you have luck with Susan, Lisa?" Susan, that's a name that sounds okay.
Go west
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Lisa says, "I've used Susan two--no, three times. She said Cassie was great." Lisa pauses all thoughtful like. "Maybe she was lying to get a bigger tip."
You go to the south
You jangle your way out of the room.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a rattly car, a heavy tumbler, and a short plastic block here.

Cassie is looking around for mischief to make.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

"I didn't think she was all that," Becca says. "I had her keep Zoe once. Susan and Zoe didn't get along at all." This Susan is sounding better all the time.

Jemison stares at you and waits for you to drop the velcro jangly balls.
Go southwest
You jangle your way out of the room.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler here.

Cassie has hold of the rattly car and keeps fiddling with it.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

"I'll give her a call, then," the mom says.
Wait
Time passes.
You take the tumbler
You move towards the tumbler but Parry picks it up and says "No, that's my glass." And then the mom chimes in, "Hey, kiddo, no mouth! No mouth." Once you back off Parry puts the tumbler back down.

Jemison stares at you and waits for you to drop the velcro jangly balls.
You go northeast
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Zoe stalks in from the northwest and settles near you.
You go to the south-west
You jangle your way out of the room.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler here.

Watson and Cassie are here. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor. Cassie has the rattly car in her mouth.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You give the balls to Cassie
You show the velcro jangly balls to Cassie who looks at it and then shows you the rattly car in response.

Cassie offers you the rattly car but pfft, like you want to owe her anything.

Watson wanders off to the north.
You get the car
Cassie has a grip that is like steel.
You go to the north-east
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.

Zoe has her eye on you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Zoe stalks off to the west.
You go southwest
You jangle your way out of the room.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler here.

Cassie has hold of the rattly car and keeps shaking it.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Drink
What do you want to drink?
You go to the northeast
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go west
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block and a medium plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go west
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a short plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Watson wanders in from the northwest.
You go to the south-west
You jangle your way out of the room.

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Cassie crawls in from the west.
Wait
Time passes.

Cassie grabs the middle grey couch and pulls herself up.
Wait
Time passes.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
Go northeast
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

You can also see a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Wait
Time passes.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

Watson wanders in from the west.
You climb short
You get onto the short plastic block.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You climb the medium
(getting off the short plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

Watson wanders off to the north.
You climb tall
(getting off the medium plastic block)
You clamber up onto the tall plastic block, you are getting so high.

Cassie zooms in from the southwest.

Jemison reaches out and bats at the velcro jangly balls.
You go down
(getting off the tall plastic block)
The tall block is way tall and you would hurt yourself if you tried to get down from it directly so instead you climb onto the medium block.
Go downward
You get off the medium plastic block.

The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

You can also see a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, and a tall plastic block here.

Cassie and Jemison are here. Cassie is looking around for mischief to make. Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls which you are holding.
You go to the southwest
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go west
You jangle your way out of the room.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a rattly car and a heavy tumbler here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Wait
Time passes.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

You suddenly hear this heavy thud which must be Cassie leaping off the tall plastic block. Cassie shrieks, it is the loudest you have ever heard her be. I guess she is not the super-tough baby she thinks she is. Anyway Lisa leaps up and runs to Cassie and Parry leaves his tumbler and runs to Cassie too, they scatter the plastic blocks around the room in their haste. "Baby, baby, it's okay, shh," you hear Lisa saying and then Parry is saying, "I think she's okay, she's just scared. Her pupillary response is just fine."
You get the tumbler
There is no way you're lifting it, it is really heavy.

Lisa is still saying "It'll be okay, Cassie, it'll be okay" and Parry is saying "Breathe, Cassie, breathe" and Cassie is now taking big hiccuping breaths.
You put the block in the tumbler
(the soft foam block in the heavy tumbler)
You shove the soft foam block into the tumbler and it goes ploop into the water.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats. You see Parry pick up his tumbler for a drink and he lifts it to his lips and says "Ugh! There's a soft foam block in my tumbler!" and everyone laughs at Parry. Becca says, "That's why you don't put things where the kids can get to them!" And Parry sighs and you see him put the tumbler way up on the wood cabinet in the corner between the couch and the loveseat and definitely out of your reach.
Drool on tumbler
You would but your mouth is all full.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats.
You drop all
velcro jangly balls: When you drop the velcro jangly balls Jemison is all over that and he snatches them up and sticks the jangly balls to his onesie.
soft foam block: (popping the soft foam block out of your mouth first) Dropped.
Lick tumbler
You taste nothing unexpected.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats.
Drool on tumbler
You put your mouth on the edge of the glass but there is no way you will tip it enough to drink but at least you slobbered all over it.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats. You see Parry pick up his tumbler for a drink and he lifts it to his lips and says "Ugh! My tumbler's damp!" and everyone laughs at Parry. Becca says, "That's why you don't put things where the kids can chew all over them!" And Parry sighs and you see him put the tumbler way up on the wood cabinet in the corner between the couch and the loveseat and definitely out of your reach.
You get the balls
You tug on the velcro jangly balls and you tug some more and they come off of Jemison with a rrrrrrrip sound and Jemison looks at you with sad sad eyes and then stares at the velcro balls.
You go to the north
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You go north
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the loveseat.

Zoe stalks in from the southeast and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You go to the west
You jangle your way out of the room.

Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Zoe stalks in from the east and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go south
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a heavy tumbler.

Zoe stalks in from the north and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You open the cabinet
You go for the door but then Jemison is in front of you reaching for the jangly balls and they go jingle jangle when you pull away from him.
You look
The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a heavy tumbler.

Jemison and Zoe are here. Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls which you are holding. Zoe has her eye on you.
You put the balls on Zoe
You shove the velcro end of the balls against Zoe high on her back where she can't reach and the velcro sticks!

Jemison reaches out and hits the velcro jangly balls that are hanging off of Zoe.
You open the cabinet
You reach for the door and Zoe moves to stop you but Jemison gets in front of Zoe and reaches for the jangly balls. While she is all dealing with him you tug on the door and the baby lock catches, making the entire cabinet rock towards you. And as it does so the tumbler tumbles, hitting the baby lock and pushing it down before springing off of the lock and over your head. The cabinet door pops open and your favorite toy rolls out and into your lap!

Then you hear the crying. When you turn you see a very wet Zoe and a very wet Jemison and the empty tumbler is next to them. Jemison takes it like a toddler, he is fine, but Zoe is angry like a wet evil cat. Heads pop over the top of the loveseat staring down at all of you, one of them is Parry and he looks really embarassed.

You're probably not going to get to keep the toy.
You take the toy
It is like you are psychic because you don't get to keep the toy. The mom storms around the couch and scoops you up and grabs the toy. "It's okay, Farina," Marion says, "accidents happen. Zoe and Jemison don't look hurt, just wet." Several of the other parents are glaring at Parry, he looks all sheepish.

"Since the kids have to be changed anyway, let's take pictures!" Marion says.

"Sure, works for me," Lisa says, and just like that everyone is getting their onesies taken off and instead they are being put in these Halloween costumes, and that would be okay except your squid costume is totally restrictive.

You don't get up on the couch all that much but now you are up here with everyone else so you can have your pictures taken.

Becca is all ordering everyone around.

Parry is standing back a bit watching the picturetime commotion.

Lisa is staying near Cassie in case she makes a break for it.

Marion is calm in the face of all this chaos.

The mom is trying to get all of you together for a picture.

Jemison and Watson and Cassie and Zoe are here. Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Zoe hunkers in a ladybug costume like a wolf in cute sheep's clothing.
You bite Zoe
There is no way the parents will believe you had nothing to do with hurting her, you'd better leave her alone for now.

The mom says, "That's an interesting costume Watson's wearing." Watson must know he's being talked about, he ducks his head and looks sad.
You eat yourself
(first taking yourself)
With this stupid costume on you cannot take anything, the fake tentacles are all in the way.

"We made it ourselves," Parry replies.
You examine Watson
Watson Mason has this big round face that is perfect for commercials and baby food labels, only his face is always tear-streaked so maybe he is not cut out for show-biz. Maybe he is sad because he is dressed in this costume that is supposed to be a scary bat but instead is like a sad dumpy bat.

Becca laughs all loud. "It's not very cheerful--whoops, hold on there Jemison." Zoe must've pushed Jemison because he starts to topple sideways before Becca rescues him.
Go downward
You start to move and then there is the mom, she pushes you back in place. "Whoa, kiddo, we've got to get a picture of everyone."

Parry is all huffy, "We wanted something different from the usual."
You examine Zoe
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice.

"Does that thing have buttons? That'll make it fun to take off if he spits up on it," Becca laughs again.
You look at Cassie
That is Cassie Sandoval, she is wearing a costume that makes her look like a pumpkin. Her arms are scraped up and she has some bruises on her legs.

Cassie bounces up and down next to you and you try to back away from her but your tentacles get in your way. "Keep the kids together!" Lisa calls, pointing a small camera at all of you.
You examine the bumblebee
The tiny antennas and tiny wings totally make the costume.

Parry and the mom get you all in place on the couch. The mom dangles your favorite toy in front of all of you! You and Zoe stare raptly at it and then Parry says "Now!" and it is like a thousand suns explode in front of you and all you can see are these white and red spots.
Scream
The mom says, "We're just taking a couple of pictures, kiddo. Hang in there."

As the spots clear you see Watson has pitched face first into the couch. Zoe is busy tugging on Jemison's wings and Cassie is chewing on one of your tentacles. "Hope no one wanted another picture!" Becca says.
You jump
There is no way you are going to jump, you can barely crawl.

The parents give up and take you all off the couch. As the mom puts you down she stops by the bookcase and puts your toy up there. "Maybe next year they'll sit still," Lisa sighs, and Parry just snorts.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a squid costume (being worn)
You cry
You let out this sobbing wail and the mom says, "Shh, it's okay."
You examine the block
So which do you mean, the tall plastic block, the short plastic block, the medium plastic block, or the soft foam block?
You look in the diapers
That is all you in there.
Describe the surroundings
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.
You go to the north-east
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a little doll, and a much-loved kangaroo here.

Zoe hunkers in a ladybug costume like a wolf in cute sheep's clothing.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You look at the blookcase
Books sleep here when they are not being read by the parents. The books do not really taste all that good and besides you cannot reach any of them now that the bottom bookcase shelves are all empty. From down here it is even hard to see the books, they are way up there. Your favorite toy is up next to the books about a half a parent high.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
You fly to the toy
You are not chewing on that.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.

I only understood you as far as wanting to se.
You get on the small block
You get onto the short plastic block.

"Oh my God, you guys," Lisa says, "I almost forgot to tell you! This kid in Cassie's class bit her yesterday!"

Zoe climbs down off of the medium plastic block.
You get on the medium block
(getting off the short plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

Becca says, "I was always worried that Jemison would be--" and here her voice gets real quiet, "a biter." Then she gets loud again, "But he never was."

Zoe grabs a squishy ball.
You get on the tall block
(getting off the medium plastic block)
You clamber up onto the tall plastic block, you are getting so high.

"Mine was a biter for a little while," the mom says, that was so three months ago, and besides, those kids totally deserved it.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You look at the bookcase
Books sleep here when they are not being read by the parents. The books do not really taste all that good and besides you cannot reach any of them now that the bottom bookcase shelves are all empty. Your favorite toy is up next to the books about a half a parent high.

Parry is all, "What do you do if your child does bite other children?"

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face, ha ha, she can suck it.
You get on the medium block
(getting off the tall plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

"At this age, there's not much you can do," Marion says, "other than removing them from the situation." The moms are all silent for a moment, they're probably thinking of Allan. He used to be in the playgroup but then he started biting people and now he is an unperson like Nikolai Yezhov.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face. Clearly she is waiting for you to go down directly from the medium block.
You get on the small block
The short plastic block doesn't have enough room as long as Zoe is there.

"Can you keep them from even biting in the first place?" Lisa asks, and Parry follows up with, "It would be nice if the parents were controlling their child better."

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face. Clearly she is waiting for you to go down directly from the medium block.
Go downwards
You get off the medium plastic block.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a tall plastic block, a short plastic block (on which is Zoe), a medium plastic block, a plastic cup, a little doll, and a much-loved kangaroo here.

"It's not a matter of control," Marion says, "you can't really control a ten-month old."

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You get on the small block
You get onto the short plastic block.

The mom says, "I'm just glad we aren't still dealing with this problem."

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
You get on the medium block
(getting off the short plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

Zoe pokes the squishy ball towards your favorite toy, she is doing the baby equivalent of randomly using everything in your inventory on an object.
You get on the tall block
(getting off the medium plastic block)
You clamber up onto the tall plastic block, you are getting so high.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You check your inventory
You are carrying:
a squid costume (being worn)

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You bite Zoe
There is no way the parents will believe you had nothing to do with hurting her, you'd better leave her alone for now.

Zoe climbs down off of the short plastic block.
You remove the costume
You cannot see how it comes off, maybe you will be stuck in it forever.

Zoe tosses aside the squishy ball and she picks up a much-loved kangaroo.
You examine Zoe
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice. She has a death-grip on a much-loved kangaroo.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You examine the squid
It is like a squid if a squid was all plush and powder blue and didn't have any suckers. You are wearing it and its tentacles cover your arms and hands.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
You look at the ladybug
Black and red and cute all over, though it is not so cute when Zoe is wearing it.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
You examine the tentacles
Wow that would end with your face all planted and full of pain, let's not do that.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.

It is like a squid if a squid was all plush and powder blue and didn't have any suckers. You are wearing it and its tentacles cover your arms and hands.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
You suck it
You don't have speech down yet.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
Wave tentacles
You shake the squid costume and that is okay I guess.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
You hit the toy with the tentacles
See for you to do that on command you'd have to be potty trained and you are not, that is just another way the man controls you.

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.

You have short arms, you can't reach your favorite toy from up here.

The mom says, "The other day when we were out, I saw a mom with her toddler on her leash."

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
Pee
See for you to do that on command you'd have to be potty trained and you are not, that is just another way the man controls you.

"What?" Becca says, and the mom is all, "I know! The toddler was wearing this monkey backpack and the tail unspooled into a leash that the mom held."

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face.
You get on the medium block
(getting off the tall plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

Parry says, "I don't know, that sounds like a clever idea."

Zoe starts to climb up onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the higher blocks she looks up at you and makes this annoyed face. Clearly she is waiting for you to go down directly from the medium block.
Go downwards
You get off the medium plastic block.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a squishy ball, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block (on which is Zoe), a medium plastic block, a plastic cup, and a little doll here.

The mom is indignant, "My child is not a dog to be on a leash!" Good for her, there is no way you'd wear a leash.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You go to the south
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

Lisa says, "When you get down to it, babies are about as smart as pets. Cassie might as well be a hyperactive Yorkie."
Examine tv
The TV is blocked by this baby swing that is in the way.

"You know," Parry says, "A combination playpen and Skinner box might sell really well."
You go to the south
You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

The legs of Marion dangle from the sofa.

Becca says, "That is the kind of thing people call Child Protective Services about."
Go west
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a brix blox bucket here.

Cassie and Watson are here. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

"I'm not sure Child Services gets called that often to rescue kids from Skinner boxes," Parry says.
You examine the bucket
It is a tall cube that is open on top only the corners are all rounded so no babies are harmed in the extracting of the blox from the bucket and it is also wider at the top than at the bottom. It is full of these lame faker Lego blocks.

The mom is still all huffy, "Kids aren't pets."

Cassie babbles happily.

Watson stares at the brix blox bucket.
You kick the bucket
You are way not coordinated enough to do that.

Cassie says "Pbbbbbth."
You look at the booklet
The booklet tells you how to build stuff out of the blox, you've never really used it. It is flopped open right now and is showing this helicopter. It involves these complex blades and gears and stuff on the page.

Cassie says "Eeeeeee eeee ee-ah!"
You build the helicopter
You look at the instructions but man, they are way complex. This is the kind of thing you hire people to do instead of bothering yourself.

Cassie babbles happily.
You look at the booklet
The booklet tells you how to build stuff out of the blox, you've never really used it. It is flopped open right now and is showing this helicopter. It involves these complex blades and gears and stuff on the page.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a helicopter. He looks at it and then drops it, he is so going to grow up to be an engineer and like online games and in his spare time I bet he will LARP.
You take the helicopter
With this stupid costume on you cannot take anything, the fake tentacles are all in the way.

Jemison puts his mouth all over the brix blox bucket. He looks pretty thoughtful when he does that.
Lick tentacle
You are small and all but this is even smaller and it is a shame you cannot get in it and fly it around.

Watson picks up the helicopter and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.

You taste nothing unexpected.
You check what you're carrying
You are carrying:
a squid costume (being worn)

Cassie falls forward onto her hands and then she is crawling off to the northeast.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a helicopter. He looks at it and then drops it.
You put Watson in the swing
You can't reach into the In Front of TV.

"Let me guess," says the mom, "they carried Watson everywhere and played with him and wouldn't leave him alone, and now he's upset you're not doing the same."
You go west
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the couch.

You can also see a soft foam block and a rattly car here.

"Exactly!" Parry exclaims. "How'd you know?"
You go north
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

"Detox!" Lisa and Becca and Marion chorus.
Go east
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

"You must not talk to many other parents," Becca says. "It's nice when the grandparents visit and give you a break, but when they leave, oh boy!"

Jemison comes in from the south.
You cry
When you cry again the mom says, "Shh. Calm down."

Parry says, "I can't believe the same thing happens to all of you! How do you keep it from happening?"
You go west
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

"You can keep your parents from visiting Watson," Marion says. "Otherwise, no, there's no real prevention."
You go north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Shoved half-under the loveseat is a remote control.

Those are Parry's feet dangling from the loveseat.

The mom says, "Be glad they love Watson as much as they do."
You pull up on the loveseat
You would but the tentacles of your stupid squid costume are too slick. You really have to get someone to take this costume off for you.

"Yeah. Yeah!" Parry says.
You examine remote
This is the remote control that lets parents turn on the TV as if they have big stretchy arms that can reach the television from anywhere in the room. You could use it to turn on the TV if you were ancient, like three years old or something.
You turn on TV
The television is to the east and so is way too far away for that.
You turn on the remote
The remote control is too advanced for you, it is the kind of thing adults use.
Go south
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the couch.

You can also see a rattly car here.

Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.
Go east
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a helicopter, a building instructions booklet (open to some helicopter instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

Watson picks up the helicopter and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You go east
You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

The legs of Marion dangle from the sofa.
You go to the north
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.

Cassie falls forward onto her hands and then she is crawling off to the southwest.
You examine the swing
It is this a-frame thing with a swing in the middle and a speed switch way up there. When the speed switch is all the way up boy does that swing go high, nearly high enough to kick a parent in the head if you were that kind of baby. It is supposed to be this cheerful baby plaid but instead it is this weird lumberjack-like plaid.
You turn the switch
You have short arms, you can't reach the speed switch from down here.

"Did anyone see last night's episode of "Beat"?" Parry says.
Go north
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a much-loved kangaroo, a little doll, a squishy ball, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block (on which is Zoe), and a medium plastic block here.

"Is that the Boston cop show?" Becca asks.

Zoe climbs down off of the short plastic block.
Go east
You so can't go that way.

"Oh my God, who has time for TV?" Lisa asks. "Besides, I can't watch something that violent when Cassie's up, even if she'd let me leave her alone.

Zoe drops the plastic cup and she picks up a much-loved kangaroo.
Go west
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

There are Becca's legs, they are by the rocking chair.

You can also see a teething ring, a plush book, a teeny squeezy book, and a smooth rock here.

The mom says, "I don't have a lot of time for TV either. Besides Sesame Street, that is," and the parents all laugh, why are they dissing the Street?
You go south
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

Becca sighs. "I always feel guilty when I set Jemison in front of the TV so I can get some work done."
You go to the northwest
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Shoved half-under the loveseat is a remote control.

Those are Parry's feet dangling from the loveseat.

"I don't allow Zoe to watch much television," Marion says, "though she does watch some."
You rub the squid on the safety pin
Nothing obvious happens.

Parry says, "We did consider not letting Watson see any TV until he's two or so."

I only understood you as far as wanting to rub the squid costume.
You go to the west
Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

"You're not one of those no-TV nuts, are you?" Lisa says all sharpishly.
You go south
The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

"They're not nuts," Parry says, you can tell he's annoyed. "In fact, they make a lot of sense."
You examine the cabinet
The cabinet is wood like a lot of other furniture in here because the parents like wood or something, maybe they are tree huggers but only if the trees have been cut down and planed and shaped. Anyway it has this door in it which is closed.

"Whatever," Lisa sniffs, and the mom says, "Remember, watch what you say about religion, politics, and TV."
Drool on tentacles
You reach deep down inside you and bring up some of those stupid prunes the mom was feeding you and spit them up on the squid costume, making it all dirty.
Go north
Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.
Go east
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Shoved half-under the loveseat is a remote control.

Those are Parry's feet dangling from the loveseat.
You pull up on Parry
You rub up against the legs of Parry, who sees that you are dirty and says "Uh, Farina," and hands you over to the mom. The mom takes you and says, "Oh, oh, your costume is all dirty, kiddo," and the next thing you know you are back on the ground and free of that evil squid costume.
Go south
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a helicopter, a building instructions booklet (open to some helicopter instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You put the remote in the pile
That so can't contain stuff.

Watson picks up the helicopter and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You drop the remote
Dropped.
You put the remote in the pile
You need to be holding the remote control before you can put it into something else.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a helicopter. He looks at it and then drops it.
You look at your surroundings
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a helicopter, a remote control, a building instructions booklet (open to some helicopter instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You look at the bucket
It is a tall cube that is open on top only the corners are all rounded so no babies are harmed in the extracting of the blox from the bucket and it is also wider at the top than at the bottom. It is lying on its side.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a rolly car thing.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a nuclear reactor model.
You open the remote
That's not something you can open.

Watson picks up the helicopter and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You put the remote in the pile
You need to be holding the remote control before you can put it into something else.

Cassie zips in from the west.
You get the remote
You pick it up.

Cassie babbles happily.
You examine Cassie
That is Cassie Sandoval, she is wearing a costume that makes her look like a pumpkin. Her arms are scraped up and she has some bruises on her legs.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a nuclear reactor model. He looks at it and then drops it.
You look at the model
The little scoop in the back for loading in the enriched uranium is a nice touch.

Watson picks up the nuclear reactor model and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
Trow remote
The remote control is already here.

Cassie babbles happily.
You get recctor
You scoop up the booklet and it flops all closed.

Cassie falls forward onto her hands and then she is crawling off to the north.
You get the model
You scoop up the booklet and it flops all closed.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a wall.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a poosh stick.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a poosh stick. He looks at it and then drops it.
You take the poosh stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

Watson tries to build a poosh stick but he doesn't have enough blox.
You examine the stick
The parents call this a poosh stick because they think you are stupid and need baby talk, it is really a push stick. It is a stick for pushing things around. I guess the blox makers wanted easier and easier things to make and someone said, "Hey, I know what would be easy to build, a long stick." The stick is nearly two babies long, it's amazing that it holds together.

Cassie zips off to the northwest.
Go northeast
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a little doll, a squishy ball, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Zoe has hold of a plastic cup but she looks like she doesn't like it.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You get on the short block
The short plastic block doesn't have enough room as long as Zoe is there.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You continue
You get onto the short plastic block.

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
You get on the medium block
(getting off the short plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

Zoe pokes the plastic cup towards your favorite toy.
You give the stick to Zoe
Zoe eyes you coldly, no way she is taking anything from you.

Zoe starts to climb down onto the medium plastic block but then since you are on the lower blocks she looks down at you and makes this annoyed face. Clearly she is waiting for you to go down directly from the medium block.
You get on medium block
(getting off the tall plastic block)
You carefully climb onto the medium plastic block, it is a ways off the ground.

Zoe climbs down off of the short plastic block.
Down
You get off the medium plastic block.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a little doll, a squishy ball, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Zoe has hold of a plastic cup but she looks like she doesn't like it.

Zoe discards the plastic cup and she picks up a little doll.
You drop the stick
Dropped.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.

Jemison crawls in from the southwest.
Wait
Time passes.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You wait for a while
Time passes.

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
Wait
Time passes.

Zoe lifts the little doll into the air as if it will magically get her your favorite toy.

Jemison carefully picks up the plastic cup and blinks at it.
You wait
Time passes.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
Wait
Time passes.

Zoe climbs down off of the short plastic block.

Jemison puts his mouth all over the plastic cup.
Wait
Time passes.

Zoe tosses aside the little doll and she grabs a squishy ball.
Go south
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.
You go south
You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

The legs of Marion dangle from the sofa.
You go west
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a remote control, a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You go north
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.

Cassie babbles happily.
You go south
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a remote control, a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

Cassie zooms in from the north.
You get the remote
You pick it up.

Watson tries to build a poosh stick but he doesn't have enough blox, he gets all grunty about that.
You give the remote to Watson
You show the remote control to Watson and he kinda flinches and looks away.

Cassie says "B-b-b-b-b-buh buh buh."
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a helicopter.

Watson tries to build a helicopter but he doesn't have enough blox.
You drop the stick
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a rolly car thing.

Cassie makes these noises like a wounded pteranodon and smiles.

The poosh stick is in that small open area to the northeast and so is way too far away for that.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a nuclear reactor model.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a wall.

Watson tries to build a wall but he doesn't have enough blox, he gets all grunty about that.
Go northeast
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

Cassie zips in from the southwest.

Jemison crawls in from the west.
Go north
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a poosh stick, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block (on which is Zoe), a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You get the poosh stick
The poosh stick is big enough that you will have to drop everything to get it because it takes two hands.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You go to the south
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.

Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.
You go south
You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

The legs of Marion dangle from the sofa.
Go west
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some wall instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Cassie and Watson are here. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

Watson tries to build a wall but he doesn't have enough blox.
You drop the remote
Dropped.

Cassie zips off to the northwest.
Go northeast
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

There is this baby swing right in front of the TV.
You go to the north
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a little doll, a plastic cup, a poosh stick, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block (on which is Zoe), a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Jemison comes in from the southwest.
You get the stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

Jemison picks up the little doll.
Go southwest
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a remote control, a building instructions booklet (open to some wall instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You get the remote
You pick it up.

Cassie zips in from the north and sits down all pleased.
You give the remote to Watson
You show the remote control to Watson and he kinda flinches and looks away.

Cassie babbles happily.

Watson picks up the poosh stick and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You put the remote in the mouth
(first taking the remote control)
You shove the remote control in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free.
You pull up on the couch
You pull up on the middle grey couch and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.

Cassie says "B-b-b-b-b-buh buh buh."
Look around
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

The mom is sitting on the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some wall instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Cassie and Watson are here. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

Cassie makes these noises like a wounded pteranodon and smiles.
You give the remote to mom
You go to pull up on the mom to get her attention. (first letting go of the middle grey couch and plopping on the ground)
The mom laughs and says, "Where did you find that?" as she pulls the remote out of your mouth.

Then Parry sees you and her with the remote and says, "That reminds me, I'd like to put in a Baby Feynman video for Watson." There is then this big pregnant pause before Parry says, "Uh, if that's okay."

The mom is quiet, she is probably communicating with the other moms using only her eyes and mom-telepathy because wasn't Parry anti-TV for kids before? And then she says, "Sure!" So Parry heads over to the TV and drags the baby swing out of the way of the TV and over by the bookcase and turns the TV on.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a wall. He looks at it and then drops it.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a poosh stick.

Cassie crawls off to the north.
Wait
Time passes.

Watson picks up the wall and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
Look around
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a poosh stick. He looks at it and then drops it.
You get on it
You don't have speech down yet.

Watson picks up the poosh stick and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You examine the stick
The parents call this a poosh stick because they think you are stupid and need baby talk, it is really a push stick. It is a stick for pushing things around. I guess the blox makers wanted easier and easier things to make and someone said, "Hey, I know what would be easy to build, a long stick." The stick is nearly two babies long, it's amazing that it holds together.
Go northeast
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.
Go north
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a plastic cup, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Zoe and Jemison are here. Zoe has hold of a little doll but she looks like she doesn't like it. Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You examine the switch
That is the switch that controls how high the swing goes, it can be set to lo, med, or hi. Right now it is on lo.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You get in the swing
You cannot get in the baby swing yourself, that is something the parents do for you when they are bored of you or you are upset.

Zoe pokes the little doll towards your favorite toy.
You cry
This time you add a lot of tremolo to your crying and the mom says, "You're not going to calm down, are you, kiddo? Do you need the swing?"

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You cry
"Okay, kiddo, let's check you and make sure," the mom says and scoops you up. "Diaper's okay. You're not hungry. To the swing!" You're airlifted into the swing and the mom takes away the poosh stick and straps you in. She turns it on, click click click, and then you are swinging really high.

Small Open Area (in the baby swing)
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a poosh stick, a plastic cup, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block (on which is Zoe) here.

Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
You take the toy
You stretch for the toy but it is just barely out of reach.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.
You jump
You are strapped into the swing and that keeps you from jumping to your pain if not death.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.
You take the toy
You stretch for the toy but it is just barely out of reach.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.

Parry comes wandering by with his water glass but he stops when he sees you swinging. He looks at your favorite toy. He looks at you. He looks at your toy. He looks at Zoe. He looks at how close you get to your favorite toy. When he is all done with his looking he casually leans against the bookcase and taps your toy. It totally falls a bit closer! He winks at you and heads on by.
You take the toy
You stretch your arms but they are still too much like teeny T. Rex arms so then you scrunch down in your swing and stretch out a leg and as you swoop up again you just are able to kick the toy! It flies into the air and onto your lap! But as you swing back Zoe leans over from the tall block and swats at the toy and you swat at her and the upshot is the toy goes flying again and it goes kerplunk into the playpen.

This is the worst playdate ever.
You cry
You have already gotten in the baby swing, crying will do you no good now.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.

You look up and there is the mom, you are swinging toward her face and away, toward and away. She turns off the swing and gets you down and puts you on the floor before going back to her seat.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. Through the mesh you can see your favorite toy.

You can also see a squishy ball, a poosh stick, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block (on which is Zoe) here.

Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.
You look at the toy
This is the thing your aunt gave you which is a super fun toy. It has places to chew and places that are shiny and it rattles when you shake it.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You look in the playpen
In the northeast part of the playpen is your favorite toy.

Zoe climbs down off of the short plastic block.

Jemison carefully picks up the squishy ball.
You take the foam
The soft foam block is by the west end of the couch to the southwest and so is way too far away for that.

Zoe tosses the little doll aside. Jemison sees Zoe drop the little doll and is all excited and lets go of a squishy ball and takes the little doll instead.
You go southwest
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

Zoe comes in and looks sadly at the playpen.
You go southwest
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the couch.

You can also see a rattly car and a soft foam block here.
Go northeast
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

Zoe hunkers in a ladybug costume like a wolf in cute sheep's clothing.

Zoe hunches her shoulders sadly.
You go to the north-east
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. Through the mesh you can see your favorite toy.

You can also see a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a poosh stick, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.

Zoe comes in and sighs heavily.
Inventory
You are carrying:
a soft foam block
You take the stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

Jemison chews on the little doll.
You open the playpen with the stick
(the northeast part of the playpen with the poosh stick)
That doesn't seem to be something you can unlock.

Zoe looks at the playpen.
You open the playpoen with the stick
(the northeast part of the playpen with the poosh stick)
That doesn't seem to be something you can unlock.

Jemison pulls the little doll out of his mouth.
Wait
Time passes.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You examine playpen
This portable playpen is all old, probably it should be recalled except that the parents are way cheap. It is this frame made of metal bars and it has mesh sides and a floor for babies to play on. The bars go around in ovals at the top and bottom. It should be recalled because the top oval is hinged and you can lower one side of the playpen by pushing the top bar up and then letting go so that the mesh comes down.

You hear this cough, it is Zoe trying to get your attention.
You examine Zoe
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice.

You hear this cough, it is Zoe trying to get your attention.
Go northeast
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. The playpen is all open. In the playpen you can see your favorite toy.

You can also see a soft foam block, a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block (on which is Zoe) here.

Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.

Zoe climbs down off of the medium plastic block.

Lisa suddenly says, "Parry! Are you eating Cheerios?"

Parry sounds all sheepish, "Yeah."

Becca is all "I hope you don't mind crumbs all over your loveseat, Farina," and everyone laughs but Parry.
You go to the southwest
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast. The playpen is all open.
You enter the playpen
You get into the southwest part of the playpen.
You go northeast
You move to the other part of the playpen.

Small Open Area (in the northeast part of the playpen)
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

You can also see a soft foam block, a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

Zoe and Jemison are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.
You get the toy
Zoe sees you coming for the toy! She will not let you have it!

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the south with your toy! SHE HAS YOUR TOY!

First Jemison lets go of a little doll. Then he trails after Zoe.
You go south
You'll have to get out of the northeast part of the playpen first.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
Go outside
You get out of the northeast part of the playpen.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. The playpen is all open.

You can also see a little doll, a soft foam block, a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
Go south
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
You bite Zoe
Zoe sees you coming and she runs like the toyful coward she is!

Zoe runs off to the southwest with your toy!
Go southwest
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Zoe and Jemison and Watson are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You get the bucket
The brix blox bucket is way big and there is no way you're picking it up or anything.

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the west with your toy!

Jemison trails after Zoe.
You go west
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

You can see a rattly car and Lisa here.

Jemison and Zoe are here. Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
You look at the doll
It has red hair like Zoe but presumably it is not evil like Zoe. It is in that small open area to the northeast. It is all damp from being chewed.

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the east with your toy! SHE HAS YOUR TOY!
You go to the east
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Zoe and Watson are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.

Watson tries to build a poosh stick but he doesn't have enough blox.
You bite Zoe
Zoe sees you coming and she runs like the toyful coward she is!

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the northwest with your toy! SHE HAS YOUR TOY!
Go northwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
You bite Zoe
Zoe sees you coming and she runs like the toyful coward she is!

Zoe runs off to the south with your toy!
You go north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

On the north pink striped loveseat is a cup of Cheerios.

You can see Parry here.
Go south
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

You can see Lisa here.

Zoe and Jemison are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.
You bite Zoe
Zoe sees you coming and she runs like the toyful coward she is!

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the east with your toy!

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You go to the east
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Zoe and Watson are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You pull up on the mom
You have stuff in your hands and you will need those hands to pull yourself up so drop something I guess.

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the northwest with your toy! SHE HAS YOUR TOY!

Watson tries to build a poosh stick but he doesn't have enough blox.
You cry
Crying to get the parents to take back the toy is a total Zoe trick, you will not stoop that low. Besides, you are so close to getting the toy it would be no good to have the mom take it away again.
You drop stick
Dropped.

Watson picks up the poosh stick and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a helicopter.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a helicopter. He looks at it and then drops it.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a wall.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You look at Watson
Watson Mason has this big round face that is perfect for commercials and baby food labels, only his face is always tear-streaked so maybe he is not cut out for show-biz. Maybe he is sad because he is dressed in this costume that is supposed to be a scary bat but instead is like a sad dumpy bat.
You look at the bat
You can see how someone would think this was a fun idea but man, it just makes Watson look like a giant emo cupid.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You look at Watson
Watson Mason has this big round face that is perfect for commercials and baby food labels, only his face is always tear-streaked so maybe he is not cut out for show-biz. Maybe he is sad because he is dressed in this costume that is supposed to be a scary bat but instead is like a sad dumpy bat.

Watson picks up the helicopter and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You look at Zoe
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice. She has a death-grip on your favorite toy. She is by the south end of the loveseat to the northwest.
You look at Cassie
That is Cassie Sandoval, she is wearing a costume that makes her look like a pumpkin. Her arms are scraped up and she has some bruises on her legs. She is carrying a smooth rock. She is next to the gliding rocking chair to the northwest.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a poosh stick.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a poosh stick. He looks at it and then drops it.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a helicopter.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a rolly car thing.

Watson picks up the poosh stick and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a nuclear reactor model.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a nuclear reactor model. He looks at it and then drops it.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a wall.

Watson picks up the nuclear reactor model and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a wall. He looks at it and then drops it.
You wait awhile
Time passes.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You examine the wall
Man what? This is the stupidest blox thing ever. Who needs a tiny portable wall that is like six inches tall? You can't even stop someone with it, even clumsy Jemison would crawl right over it and knock it over, and keeping orcs from overrunning Helm's Deep? Forget it.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You examine doll
It has red hair like Zoe but presumably it is not evil like Zoe. It is in that small open area to the northeast. It is all damp from being chewed.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!

Watson tries to build a wall but he doesn't have enough blox.
You go to the northeast
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

It looks like the TV is done with white things, now there is this big row of balls starting with this huge yellow one and then a smaller one and a little bigger one and so on. There are a lot of those balls.
You go to the north
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. The playpen is all open.

You can also see a little doll, a soft foam block, a squishy ball, a plastic cup, a much-loved kangaroo, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, and a medium plastic block here.
You take doll
You pick it up.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
Shake doll
You shake the little doll and that is okay I guess.
You look at the doll
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice. She has a death-grip on your favorite toy. She is by the south end of the loveseat to the west.

It has red hair like Zoe but presumably it is not evil like Zoe. It is all damp from being chewed.
You go west
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

There are Becca's legs, they are by the rocking chair.

You can also see a smooth rock, a teething ring, a teeny squeezy book, and a plush book here.

Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.
Chew doll
You shove the little doll in your mouth and start chewing on it and that feels good.
You go to the west
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

On the north pink striped loveseat is a cup of Cheerios.

You can see Parry here.
You go west
Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
Go east
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

On the north pink striped loveseat is a cup of Cheerios.

You can see Parry here.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You examine cup
So which do you mean, the cup of Cheerios, or the plastic cup?
Cheerios
Cheerios! In a cup! What a totally portable idea.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You drop all
little doll: (popping the little doll out of your mouth first)
Dropped.
wall: Dropped.
You climb on the loveseat
(first taking the cup of Cheerios)
You cannot reach the cup of Cheerios because you are standing and if you let go with one hand you would just plop down before you could get it.

You are already all pulled up on the north pink striped loveseat and you can't go any higher.
Go southeast
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast. The playpen is all open.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
Go south
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some wall instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You drop the wall
Dropped.

Watson picks up the wall and takes it apart and dumps the brix into the big pile.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a poosh stick.
You examine the pile
A big pile of dayglo blox from the brix blox bucket. Some are one hand wide and some are two hands wide and some are three hands wide and I guess they go together in various ways but whatever, you are no engineer.

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a poosh stick. He looks at it and then drops it.
You take the stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.
Go northwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Cassie and Zoe are here. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
Go west
You so can't go that way.

Zoe pushes her way past babies and runs off to the southeast with your toy!
You go to the north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

On the north pink striped loveseat is a cup of Cheerios.

You can see a little doll and Parry here.
You take Cheerios
You have short arms, you can't reach the cup of Cheerios from down here.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You look at Zoe
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice. She has a death-grip on your favorite toy. She is at the middle of the couch to the southeast.

Watson wanders in from the south.

Jemison crawls in from the southeast.
You go southeast
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
You have to push your way past Jemison, Watson, and Cassie thanks to those Cheerios and that slows you down.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast. The playpen is all open.
You look at Zoe
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice. She has a death-grip on your favorite toy. She is at the middle of the couch to the south.

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
Go south
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a building instructions booklet (open to some poosh stick instructions), a pile of dayglo blox, and a brix blox bucket here.

Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
You take the toy
Zoe sees you coming for the toy! She will not let you have it!

Zoe runs off to the northwest with your toy!
Go northwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
You take the toy
Zoe sees you coming for the toy! She will not let you have it!

Zoe runs off to the north with your toy!
You go to the north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Those sure are a bunch of Cheerios spilled everywhere.

You can also see a little doll and Parry here.

Zoe and Jemison and Watson and Cassie are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.

Cassie takes some Cheerios and eats them.

Jemison considers the pile of Cheerios and then he takes some Cheerios and munches on them.
You take toy
Zoe tries to crawl away, but there are babies and Cheerios and it is a big train-wreck and she cannot get away!

Your hands are all full, maybe if you drop something you could get your favorite toy.

Zoe somehow ignores the Cheerios and pushes her way past babies who don't move very fast because of the Cheerios and runs off to the southeast with your toy!

Watson gingerly takes a single Cheerio and then he eats it.
You drop all
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
Dropped.

Zoe somehow ignores the Cheerios and pushes her way past babies who don't move very fast because of the Cheerios and runs off to the west with your toy!

Jemison picks up some Cheerios and munches on them.

Zoe screws up her face and bursts into these loud wails, they are so terribly loud. She shoves at Cassie who also starts crying and soon just about everyone is crying except you, ha ha, they are such babies.

Marion says, "I was afraid we were staying too late past Zoe's naptime. Farina, everyone, it's been fun, and glad you could come, Parry. See everyone next week." Hands come down and the squalling Zoe zips up into the air and into Marion's arms. Soon all of the babies are going skywards, parentwards, and out-the-doorwards.

With them all gone the air kinda leaks out of you, it has been a long playdate. The mom gathers you and your favorite toy up. "C'mon, kid, let's get you to bed before you completely pass out." But you do not need naps, does she not understand that?

Though your crib is nice and soft and your favorite toy chimes a bit as you curl around it and your teeny eyelids are so heavy.

So...heavy....
You drop all
Dropped.

Zoe runs off to the north with your toy!
Go north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Those sure are a bunch of Cheerios spilled everywhere.

You can also see a little doll and Parry here.

Zoe and Jemison and Watson and Cassie are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.

Cassie snatches a handful of Cheerios and inhales them and grins around the mushy oatiness of them.
You take toy
Zoe tries to crawl away, but there are babies and Cheerios and it is a big train-wreck and she cannot get away!

You lunge forward and yank on the toy and Zoe is all distracted by Cheerios and the toy pops out of her evil sweaty grasp! You have your toy!

Zoe screws up her face and bursts into these loud wails, they are so terribly loud. She shoves at Watson who also starts crying and soon just about everyone is crying except you, ha ha, they are such babies.

Marion says, "I was afraid we were staying too late past Zoe's naptime. Farina, everyone, it's been fun, and glad you could come, Parry. See everyone next week." Hands come down and the squalling Zoe zips up into the air and into Marion's arms. Soon all of the babies are going skywards, parentwards, and out-the-doorwards.

With them all gone the air kinda leaks out of you, it has been a long playdate. The mom gathers you and your favorite toy up. "C'mon, kid, let's get you to bed before you completely pass out." But you do not need naps, does she not understand that?

Though your crib is nice and soft and your favorite toy chimes a bit as you curl around it and your teeny eyelids are so heavy.

So...heavy....
Commentary on
Commentary track on[1]. To read commentary track notes, type NOTE #.
Note 1
Welcome to the commentary track of Child's Play! I'm your author and host, Stephen Granade. In this track, I'll be talking about design decisions I made, some of my goals in writing the game, and fun things to try.
You cry
Suddenly the darkness is gone, and it is so light, you are blinded for just a second. You blink and blink and then you can see the mom holding the blanket she was covering you with. "Oh, kid, I'm so sorry, I thought you were having fun," she says. "We'll do something else."

That'll teach her[2].

A child, a toy, and a rival by Stephen Granade

All rights reserved.
Type ABOUT for more information.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. But it would be bigger and vaster if there weren't all these pillows and stuff in a big ring around you. The mom is totally all paranoid and whatever, she is a new mom.

There is a red footstool, it looms over you.

The mom[3] is playing with you and is all excited about it.

You can also see a squishy ball, a plush book, and your favorite toy here.

You eye your favorite toy and the mom sees you doing it and scoops it up. "No, no, we're going to try pulling up!" She is all the time trying to build your character or something. She waves the toy at you. "Look! Look where I'm putting it!" She drops the toy on the footstool where you can't see it unless you're all pulled up, that is just no fair[4].
Note 2
Crying is a great baby way of manipulating parents.
Note 3
The protagonist doesn't really think of the parents in a possessive way. They're just people who provide food and toys.
Note 4
The major conceit of the game is that the player is a baby, and must interact with the world as a baby. That leaves the player with a limited range of actions. Sadly, unless you've become a parent recently, you've probably forgotten what it's like to be a baby and what a baby does. That's why the game has to re-teach you babies' limited actions, like pulling up[5].
Note 5
By the way, you should wait for a while and frustrate the mom.
You wait
Time passes.

The mom sits there looking at you all expectantly.
You wait
Time passes.

The mom points to the footstool. "Give it a try! Go ahead! Pull up!"
You wait
Time passes.

The mom sighs and is all "You were pulling up just yesterday[6]."
You pull up on the stool
You pull yourself up and it is one hand and another hand which is hard because the footstool is all unstable and rocks some but then you are all on your feet so yay you! And now that you are up here you can see your favorite toy on the footstool.

The mom applauds, "Way to go!" She looks at her watch and is all "Whoops! Playgroup's about to arrive. You hang out here while mom goes and gets ready." She stands up and steps over all of those pillows and you are stuck here now by yourself[7].
You look at the toy
This is the thing your aunt gave you[8] which is a super fun toy. It has places to chew and places that are shiny and it rattles when you shake it.
Note 9
Babies are notorious for trying to pull up on things and instead accidentally pushing them or knocking them over. This initial footstool puzzle serves to introduce the push-on-things mechanic in a setting where there's little else to do.
You look at the pillows
The ring is a bunch of pillows and stuff piled around in a circle so you can't go crawling away when the mom is all distracted. The whole thing is taller than you even when you are sitting.

Hey wait, what is Alfadog doing wedged in the pillows like that?
You look at Alfadog
It is Alfadog, your alphabet-knowing toy and it is all wedged under some pillows. He is about as long as you and he is about as tall as you when you are crawling, it is as if he is your brother only he is a dog. He has this switch on him that makes him run and say the alphabet and such.
You turn on Alfadog
You are all fumbly on the switch but then you get it turned on and look out! Alfadog lights up and his paws start digging in and he is barking out "A! B! C! D! EFG!" It looks like he may be stuck under those pillows but then "L! M! N! O! P!" pillows tumble out of his way and he is free, zipping off to the east! You hear him winding down, "W X Y and Zeee....." And now there is this big gap in the pillows to the east.

That Alfadog is very powerful, he should probably be recalled[10].
Note 10
A theme of the game is the PC getting others, both animate and inanimate, to do his or her bidding.
Examine book
It is plush and the mom likes to read it to you.
You go to the east
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north[11].

You can see Alfadog and your favorite toy here.
Note 11
I entered this first part of the game in Introcomp 2006. The competition helped, as it really made me think about what I wanted the player to see in the first few moves. I wanted to have a few simple puzzles that nevertheless depended on baby-like actions, introduce the writing style I'd chosen, and have a very clear direction. The last was critical -- without that throughline, players are increasingly likely to type QUIT.
You take the toy
You pick it up.

There is a ding-dong and the mom comes clattering in all "Hang on! I'm coming!" She opens the door and there is Marion Kinmundy here for playgroup. She is carrying that little red haired girl Zoe who started coming to playgroup a couple of whiles ago. Zoe sees your favorite toy and her eyes light up.

The mom must be psychic or something because she whirls around and snatches up your favorite toy. "Oh, no," she says with a little laugh, "we're not having you two fight over this thing again. I'll tuck it away where it'll be safe." And Marion laughs too, which is cool, that way they don't notice you and the little red haired girl glaring at each other.

She wants your toy? And the mom wants to lock the toy away? Bring it on[12].
Note 12
Right behind Marion and Zoe the little red haired girl is Lisa who is Cassie's mom. Lisa is carrying Cassie all carefully but Cassie is squirming to get down. "Hi Farina, hi Marion--hang on Cassie, mommy's going to put you down," Lisa says and then she steps over the baby gate and dumps Cassie by the couch to the south of you.

Meanwhile the mom is putting all the pillows back on the couch and loveseat. As she finishes she asks Marion, "Can I put this toy in Zoe's backpack for now?" Marion is all "Sure!" as she puts Zoe on the floor over by the rocking chair and sits on the loveseat.
Note 12
I like games with an antagonist. Wandering around exploring is fine, but it's nice to be working against someone. With that said, I wanted Zoe to start out passively working against you, in effect pursuing her own separate agenda, only working directly against you as the game went on.
You look at the backpack
Zoe's backpack has all these cute bears sewed on it. Clearly her mom Marion picked it out, it does not reek of evil like it would if Zoe had chosen it. It is closed so you can't see what's in it though you know your toy is in there somewhere. It is next to the gliding rocking chair to the northwest[13].
Note 13
Lucian Smith suggested that you be able to examine things in other "rooms" within the large living room. It was an extremely handy addition to the game, since then I could see where things were and go to them. Shame it was such a headache to implement. I managed to get it working for this small game, but I'd hate to try it for a larger game.
Examine tv
The TV is dark and that makes you sad.
You go northwest
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall[14].

You can also see a smooth rock here.

Zoe is sitting in a fog of grump on the floor.

There is a ding-dong! and the mom goes and opens the front door. It is Becca and her son Jemison and some strange guy is there holding Watson Mason. "Come on in, everyone," the mom says. She turns to the strange guy, "I'm glad you could make it, Parry[15]."

Parry shrugs and smiles and says, "I always wondered what everyone did during playgroup."

"Drink mimosas[16]!" Becca says over her shoulder to Parry and there is polite laughter and Parry smiles like he is kinda unsure about all of this.

"Why don't you put Watson in here with the others?" the mom asks and Parry nods. He ends up putting Watson by Jemison over by the loveseat. Then all the standing adults sit down with Parry sitting near you so now I guess they are sitting adults.
Note 14
Admiral Jota is a madman and managed to break the backpack puzzle by the judicious use of TAKE ALL, requiring me to fiddle the rules regarding what's included in ALL.
Note 15
Parry's the foil to the rest of the group. He's an outsider and can thus make comments that are probably closer to your reactions to the groups' comments. Plus he does things the more experienced moms don't.
You look at Parry
That is Parry Mason, he is Watson Mason's dad. Normally Watson's mom Shari is here but she must be somewhere else so that is why Parry is here.
You go southwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Those are Becca's legs by the loveseat.

You can also see a rattly car here.

Jemison and Watson are here. Jemison watches you watching him. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor. [17]

Watson gingerly picks up the rattly car[18]. When Jemison sees Watson take the rattly car, he gets all excited and he starts watching the rattly car and thus Watson[19].

Watson puts down the rattly car. Jemison suddenly sees that the rattly car is available and he scoops it up.
Note 17
Many turns there's a heck of a lot of text printed as parents talk and playmates romp around. To cut down on how many paragraphs are printed, I collated the descriptions of the playmates into a single paragraph.
Note 18
I randomized the babies' behavior and action descriptions to keep things fresh. It also made debugging a nightmare. NPCs suck; randomized NPCs suck more.
Note 19
Babies are all the time becoming fascinated by what other babies do. Stupid babies.
You go north
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west except that a baby gate is in the way. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

The legs of Marion dangle from the loveseat.
You look at Marion
Grr, Marion Kinmundy. She is Zoe's mom. Grr, Zoe. What is weird is that Marion is all nice while Zoe is pure evil.
Go southeast
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a plush book here.
You take the book
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

You can hear Zoe squalling all loudly by the gliding rocking chair.
Go west
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

Those are Becca's legs by the loveseat.

Jemison and Watson are here. Jemison is playing with the rattly car. Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor.

Watson pulls up on Becca who says "Watch the pants, kid!" and she laughs and puts him back on the floor.
Drop book
Dropped.

Watson pulls up on Becca who says "Watch the pants, kid!" and she laughs and puts him back on the floor.
You take the book
When Jemison sees you take the plush book, his eyes light up and he starts watching the plush book and thus yourself.

Watson gingerly picks up the rattly car.
You go to the northeast
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

Parry's feet keep leaving the floor as he rocks.

A backpack with bears on and your favorite toy in it is shoved behind the rocking chair next to the wall.

You can also see a smooth rock here.

Zoe has hold of a much-loved kangaroo loosely.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the plush book.

"Say, how's Watson's rash doing?" Lisa asks Parry.

Parry clears his throat. "He's much better, thanks."[20]
Note 20
All of the parents' conversations are exaggerated versions of conversations and arguments that parents really have.
You put the book in the mouth
(the plush book in mouth)
You shove the plush book in your mouth and start chewing on it and that feels good.

The mom says, "Did you use zinc oxide cream?"
You pull up on Parry
Even though you are chewing on the plush book it is big enough that you still have to keep it in your hands and so you can't pull up while you have it, if only the plush book were smaller you would have your hands free.

"In a roundabout way," Parry says, "We used Boudreaux's butt paste[21]."

Zoe looks at the much-loved kangaroo and she sighs.
Note 21
http://www.buttpaste.com/. Ask for it by name!
Drop book
(popping the plush book out of your mouth first)
When you drop the plush book Jemison is all over that and he snatches it up.

"Ew," Becca laughs, "that is the grossest name for a product."

Watson wanders in from the southwest.
You look at the stone
The mom found this one one of your walks, well it wasn't really a walk, more like the mom driving you around in a stroller, anyway she found this rock and gave it to you.

Marion tells Becca, "Given what we have to deal with from our children, a name like that is the least of our worries."
You take the stone
When Jemison sees you pick up the smooth rock, he gets all excited and he gets rid of a plush book and starts watching the smooth rock and thus yourself.

Zoe pulls at the much-loved kangaroo but then she stops, she is so bored with it.
You put the stone in the mouth
You shove the smooth rock in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free[22].
Note 22
Babies are all the time chewing on things. They also -- and I swear this is true -- chew on things to get around their inventory limit.
You pull up on Parry
As soon as you have pulled up on the gliding rocking chair Parry looks down and says "Hey, there, you want to be picked up?" and he lifts you into his lap and stops rocking. If you were on the ground you could get to the backpack now. And then Jemison pulls up on the gliding rocking chair and looks up at you and grunts softly.
You drop the stone
(popping the smooth rock out of your mouth first)
The smooth rock falls into Parry's lap.

Zoe takes the much-loved kangaroo and shakes it half-heartedly.

Watson picks up the plush book.
Squirm
You wriggle and fuss a bit and Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor. He then is all "And now it's your turn" and he picks Jemison up[23].
You open the backpack
When you open the backpack all you can see in it is this white onesie that is totally in your way.

Zoe sees you open that backpack and she gets agitated and tosses the much-loved kangaroo aside.
You take the onsie
You pull on the onesie and it comes part of the way out of the backpack and then it gets hung on the backpack zipper. Great. Now it is blocking the backpack and it is also stuck[24].

Watson puts the plush book down.
You take book
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

Zoe shrieks angrily and bounces up and down and flails her arms in the general direction of the backpack that you opened. That makes Marion sigh and she says, "Parry, if you don't mind?" So Marion reaches the backpack under the rocking chair and she sees the white onesie stuck in the backpack. "Geez," she says and pulls out a plastic cup and dumps it in Zoe's lap. Zoe gets all upset but Marion says, "Shh, Zoe, be calm, I can't fix the backpack if you're fussing." Parry says, "Here, I'll empty out the backpack and fix that for you" but Marion says "No, thanks," and she sits down and starts trying to get the onesie out of the backpack.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go" to Jemison who scrabbles around and grabs the smooth rock. Parry gently lowers Jemison to the floor and starts rocking again.
You give the book to Zoe
(the plush book to Zoe)
Zoe shrieks at you and shoves the plush book out of your hands and hits at you. Marion sees that and she reacts in a flash and says "Parry, here," and shoves the backpack at Parry who takes it. "Can you get that onesie out of the way?" Parry just nods and digs in the backpack and pulls out your favorite toy and dumps it in his lap! Then he starts tugging the onesie this way and that to free it from the implacable jaws of the backpack zipper. Meanwhile Marion shushes Zoe before sitting back on the loveseat[25].
Note 25
Babies are masters at destroying the flow of your actions and plans. Eventually you learn how to break your plans up into tiny chunks separated by what you have to do for your kid.
You pull up on Parry
As soon as you have pulled up on the gliding rocking chair Parry looks down and says "Hey, there, you want to be picked up?" and he lifts you into his lap and stops rocking.
You take the toy
You pick it up.

Parry says, "Okay, down you go," and he gently lowers you to the floor, right next to Zoe. Zoe looks over and sees what you have in your hands and she goes totally nuts, she is shrieking and waving her fists and if she had Force powers you would totally be choked right now.

And of course Zoe acting out gets Marion and the mom to pay attention and Marion is all "Hey, hey, Zoe, calm down!" and the mom is all "Oh, gosh, they managed to get that toy out of the backpack." So the jig is up where by "the jig" I mean the toy and by "up" I mean going away.
Chapter 2
Snacktime

And it's just like you expected. The mom scoops you and the toy up and the two of you dangle in mid-air while she removes the baby gate by the loveseat and goes around behind the loveseat. There's a cabinet back there, she pushes down the baby lock at the top of the cabinet door and opens the door and in goes your toy.

You would be all into getting the toy back except everyone decides now is the time to have a snack so a bunch of toys get piled in that small open area in the living room and you and Zoe and Cassie and Watson and Jemison are dragged into the kitchen and out comes the food.

Your high chair is not way super high since it only gets you up to the level of the kitchen table but that is still pretty high. It lets you see around the table which is better than when you are on the floor and cannot even see the top of the table[26].

The mom is hovering around you.

In front of you is this spoon full of food that the mom wants you to eat.

You can also see Becca, Parry, Lisa, and Marion here.

Jemison and Watson and Cassie and Zoe are here. They are all being fed.
You eat the food
You open your mouth and the mom spoons in the prunes and they slide down your throat. Yeuch. And if that isn't bad enough, the spoon goes away and comes back with more prunes! You are just like Sisyphus here.

Becca says, "Farina, I know you're not feeding that child chopped-up people food." Meanwhile, the mom is saying, "Here! Take a bite!"
You examine Becca
Becca is Jemison's mom, she is as loud as Jemison is quiet and that is very loud. Or very quiet. Anyway, that is Becca.

"It's no different than canned baby food," the mom tells Becca. Meanwhile, Cassie is trying to climb out of her chair so she can fall to the floor and Lisa is restraining her.
You eat the food
You open your mouth and the mom spoons in the prunes. Yeuch. And if that isn't bad enough, the spoon goes away and comes back with more prunes!

"Really?" Lisa says. "I'd be worried that I'd give Cassie something that'd hurt her." Meanwhile, Watson is spitting up and Parry is looking sad that he's going to have to change Watson's clothes.
You hit Zoe
With you strapped into your high chair you cannot reach Zoe.

"Weird," Becca says. "Then why buy special baby food at all?" Meanwhile, Jemison is taking bits of food and dropping them over his high chair and then watching them hit the floor.
You examine Jemison
Jemison Thorsby's name is not one you would want, that is for sure. He is stylish in his blue onesie and he has a small mouth and these big eyes that are watching, always watching, it is kinda creepy.

"Well," says Parry, "Sometimes it's really convenient to have a jar for Mason[27] so--whoops!" And then you stop paying attention to him because he spilled a teeny bowl of Cheerios and you and all the other babies are all staring at the spray of Cheerios.
Note 27
Perhaps a Mason jar. Ha! I crack myself up.
You look at Cheerios
Oaty o's of pure goodness.

Jemison reaches for the Cheerios but they are way too far away.
You take the cherrios
With you strapped into your high chair you cannot reach the pile of Cheerios.

Watson looks at the Cheerios all sadly.
Go down
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
You are all strapped into your high chair so you are going nowhere.

Cassie rocks hard in her seat, maybe she thinks she can tip over to get to the Cheerios.

Finally all of this feeding is over and the Cheerios get put away and everyone gets wiped up with baby wipes before getting dumped back in the living room.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a tall plastic block here.
You examine the block
It is blue and it is about as wide as you are and tall as your head is high when you are pulled up.
Go northeast
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a short plastic block, a little doll, a teeny squeezy book, a teething ring, and a plastic cup here.

Zoe has hold of a soft foam block loosely.
You look at medium block
It is green and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are sitting down. It is by the south end of the loveseat to the west.

Cassie crawls in from the southwest.

You hear Watson cry loudly, boy is he angry.
You go west
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

You can see a medium plastic block and a rattly car here.

Zoe has her eye on you.

You hear Watson cry loudly.
You go southwest
The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can just see some paper beyond the footstool.
You pull up on the footstool
You pull up on the footstool and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.

You hear Watson cry loudly.
Go south
(first letting go of the footstool and plopping on the ground)
You so can't go that way.

You hear Watson cry loudly. Then Parry says, "Farina, I'm going to borrow your swing and see if that calms Watson down." He stands up and strides off and you can see him come back with a baby swing. He goes over by the TV with it and then there is the picking up of Watson and the strapping in of Watson and the swinging of Watson, I hope that makes Watson feel better.
You go west
There is just enough space for you to slide between the footstool and the couch so you cruise along the couch past the footstool and into the tiny space back there[28].

There is not a lot of room back here behind the footstool, you fill most of the space between the footstool and the couch and this wood cabinet that is acting like an endtable.

There is a red footstool, it is all close to you.

There is this tiny folded piece of paper shoved under the cabinet.
You sit
You sit down on your diaper and it is good that it is all padded and stuff.

You suddenly hear this heavy thud which must be Cassie leaping off the tall plastic block. Cassie shrieks, it is the loudest you have ever heard her be. I guess she is not the super-tough baby she thinks she is[29]. Anyway Lisa leaps up and runs to Cassie and Parry leaves his tumbler and runs to Cassie too, they scatter the plastic blocks around the room in their haste. "Baby, baby, it's okay, shh," you hear Lisa saying and then Parry is saying, "I think she's okay, she's just scared. Her pupillary response is just fine."
Note 29
Take that, overactive baby.
You take the paper
You tug and tug and tug and then you see Parry's hand reach over you and remove the tumbler from on top of the cabinet where it was and pop! the folded paper comes out from under the wood cabinet and the cabinet goes rock rock rock. It is a good thing Parry was thirsty right now.

You hear Watson cry loudly.

Lisa is still saying "It'll be okay, Cassie, it'll be okay" and Parry is saying "Breathe, Cassie, breathe" and Cassie is now taking big hiccuping breaths.
You examine paper
It is a tiny folded piece of paper.

You hear Watson cry loudly.
Unfold paper
It is really folded and creased from being under the cabinet and your fingers are too stubby.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats.
You drop the paper
Dropped.

You hear Watson cry loudly, boy is he angry. Then Parry says, "Farina, I'm going to borrow your swing and see if that calms Watson down." He goes clomping around and you can see him come back with a baby swing. He goes over by the TV with it and then there is the picking up of Watson and the strapping in of Watson and the swinging of Watson, I hope that makes Watson feel better.
You go east
Really there is only one way out of this teeny space and that is to pull up and cruise on out to the east.

Becca says to the mom, "Nice job on those mimosas."

"Thanks," the mom replies.
You pull up on the stool
You pull up on the footstool and get to your feet and you are all steady except for the occasional sway.

Lisa says, "It's nice, they help me calm down."
You go east
You slide back out into the big wild world.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is all close to you.

There is Parry on the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler and a short plastic block here.

Cassie is looking around for mischief to make.

"And they're good for you," Marion says.
Drool on tumbler
You move towards the tumbler but Parry picks it up and says "No, that's my glass." And then the mom chimes in, "Hey, kiddo, no mouth! No mouth." Once you back off Parry puts the tumbler back down.

"I'm not sure they're that good for you," Parry says.

A shadow falls on you, it is Parry standing up. He goes over to where the TV is and the swing is and he does something that probably involves Watson before he sits down again.
Drool on tumbler
You move towards the tumbler but Parry picks it up and says "No, that's my glass." Once you back off Parry puts the tumbler back down.

Marion says, "They do have orange juice in them."

Cassie climbs onto the short plastic block.
You go to the east
(first letting go of the footstool and plopping on the ground)

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison is all staring at the velcro jangly balls. The velcro jangly balls hang off of him.

"Besides, if it tastes good, it's good for you," says Becca.
You take the balls
You tug on the velcro jangly balls and you tug some more and they come off of Jemison with a rrrrrrrip sound and Jemison looks at you with sad sad eyes and then stares at the velcro balls[30].
Note 30
I get tired of games where you're introduced to a certain game mechanic that you then never use again, so I deliberately re-used mechanics like Jemison's fascination with stuff throughout.
You go to the north-west
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

You can see a rattly car here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go north
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Hey, that baby gate that blocked your way west is all gone.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the loveseat.

Zoe stalks in from the southeast and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go west
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Zoe stalks in from the east and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go south
You jangle your way out of the room.

The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a paper coaster.

You can't believe the mom just shoved your favorite toy in that cabinet so you couldn't have it.

Zoe stalks in from the north and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You open the cabinet
You go for the door but then Jemison is in front of you reaching for the jangly balls and they go jingle jangle when you pull away from him.

Jemison stares at you and waits for you to drop the velcro jangly balls.
You go to the north
You jangle your way out of the room.

Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
Go east
You jangle your way out of the room.

This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Lisa's legs are hanging off of the loveseat.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You go to the southeast
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a tall plastic block here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You go south
You jangle your way out of the room.

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.
You look at the tumbler
The tumbler is thick glass and it holds water, it is left over from Parry snacking. I guess Parry took it off the cabinet to take a drink from it and then forgot to put it back on the cabinet. It is by the west end of the couch to the west.
You go west
You jangle your way out of the room.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler and a short plastic block (on which is Cassie) here.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

Cassie climbs down off of the short plastic block.
Wear the balls
You put on the velcro jangly balls.

Marion asks Parry, "How is Shari doing?"
Drool on tumbler
You move towards the tumbler but Parry picks it up and says "No, that's my glass." Once you back off Parry puts the tumbler back down.

"Oh, my God, Parry and Shari!" laughs Becca. "I hadn't realized that--that's just too precious."

Cassie climbs onto the short plastic block.

Jemison cannot look away from you and the velcro jangly balls.
You go to the north-east
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

You can also see a tall plastic block here.

Zoe has her eye on you.

Jemison comes in after you.

"She's feeling better," Parry says. "She's keeping food down now, at least."
Go south
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

Jemison comes in after you.

Marion asks, "Oh, are you two expecting?"
You look at the medium
It is green and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are sitting down. It is by the east end of the couch to the east.

Parry is all, "Oh, no, no, no. No. It's just the flu."

Jemison reaches out and pokes at the velcro jangly balls.
You go to the east
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

You are where the couch ends here at the east, at least where it ends at one end. North is the TV and west is more couch.

The legs of Marion dangle from the sofa.

You can also see a medium plastic block here.

Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor.

Jemison comes in after you.

Becca goes, "You two should give Watson a brother. Toughen him up."
You examine small
It is red and it is about as wide as you are and as tall as your head is high when you are crawling around. It is by the west end of the couch to the southwest.

Zoe stalks off to the northwest.
Go southwest
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler and a short plastic block here.

Cassie is looking around for mischief to make.

Jemison comes in after you.
Go southwest
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The couch is very long and this is the west part of it. There is a loveseat to the north and more couch to the east.

There is a red footstool, it is right next to the couch.

You can see Parry or at least his legs over by the couch.

You can also see a heavy tumbler here.

Cassie is looking around for mischief to make.

Jemison comes in after you.
Wait
Time passes.

Cassie falls forward onto her hands and then she is crawling off to the northeast.
You examine Cassie
That is Cassie Sandoval, she is wearing a white dress that is all bright against her dark skin and her hair is captured with pink clips. Her arms are scraped up and she has some bruises on her legs.

You suddenly hear this heavy thud which must be Cassie leaping off the tall plastic block. Cassie shrieks, it is the loudest you have ever heard her be. I guess she is not the super-tough baby she thinks she is. Anyway Lisa leaps up and runs to Cassie and Parry leaves his tumbler and runs to Cassie too, they scatter the plastic blocks around the room in their haste. "Baby, baby, it's okay, shh," you hear Lisa saying and then Parry is saying, "I think she's okay, she's just scared. Her pupillary response is just fine."
Drool on tumbler
You put your mouth on the edge of the glass but there is no way you will tip it enough to drink but at least you slobbered all over it.

Lisa is still saying "It'll be okay, Cassie, it'll be okay" and Parry is saying "Breathe, Cassie, breathe" and Cassie is now taking big hiccuping breaths.
You go north
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

You can see a rattly car here.

Watson sits all sad and dumpy on the floor.

Jemison comes in after you.
Go north
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Zoe stalks in from the east and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you.

Zoe stalks off to the west.

Cassie finally is all better and is laughing some and Lisa says, "Thanks, Parry, I appreciate your help" and Parry says, "No problem." And they go back to their seats. Then you hear Parry say "Ugh! My tumbler's damp!" and everyone laughs at Parry. Becca says, "That's why you don't put things where the kids can chew all over them!" And Parry sighs and you hear the wooden thunk of Parry putting the tumbler way up on the wood cabinet in the corner between the couch and the loveseat and definitely out of your reach[31].
Note 31
Poor Parry. It's like he's never been around babies before[32]. He's fallen prey to the common misconception that, if you keep pushing babies away from something they're interested in, eventually they'll grow bored and wander off.
Note 32
More likely, it's that Watson's so low-key that Parry is lax in his baby defense.
You go west
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

Back here is the back of the loveseat casting a shadow over you, it is kind of cold. You can go south and east. You could go west but there is totally a door in your way. You could go north in the hall but there is a baby gate in the way there.

Zoe has her eye on you (not literally).

Jemison comes in after you.
You take the balls
You tug on the velcro jangly balls and you tug some more and they come off of yourself with a rrrrrrrip sound.
Go south
You are all jangle jangle jangle as you leave.

The cabinet that is also like an endtable for the loveseat and the couch is here. You can go north back to behind the loveseat.

Way up on top of the cabinet you see a heavy tumbler.

Zoe stalks in from the north and settles near you.

Jemison comes in after you and settles close by you and looks pointedly at the velcro jangly balls.

"Hey, I just realized," Becca says all loud, "Your name is Parry Mason!"
You put the balls on Zoe
You shove the velcro end of the balls against Zoe high on her back where she can't reach and the velcro sticks!

"Um, yes?" Parry says.
You open cabinet
You reach for the door and Zoe moves to stop you but Jemison gets in front of Zoe and reaches for the jangly balls[33]. While she is all dealing with him you tug on the door and the baby lock catches, making the entire cabinet rock towards you. And as it does so the tumbler tumbles, hitting the baby lock and pushing it down before springing off of the lock and over your head. The cabinet door pops open and your favorite toy rolls out and into your lap!

Then you hear the crying. When you turn you see a very wet Zoe and a very wet Jemison and the empty tumbler is next to them. Jemison takes it like a toddler, he is fine, but Zoe is angry like a wet evil cat. Heads pop over the top of the loveseat staring down at all of you, one of them is Parry and he looks really embarassed[34].

You're probably not going to get to keep the toy.
Chapter 3
Picturetime

It is like you are psychic because you don't get to keep the toy. The mom storms around the couch and scoops you up and grabs the toy. "It's okay, Farina," Marion says, "accidents happen. Zoe and Jemison don't look hurt, just wet." Several of the other parents are glaring at Parry, he looks all sheepish.

"Since the kids have to be changed anyway, let's take pictures!" Marion says.

"Sure, works for me," Lisa says, and just like that everyone is getting their onesies taken off and instead they are being put in these Halloween costumes, and that would be okay except your squid costume is totally restrictive[35].

You don't get up on the couch all that much but now you are up here with everyone else so you can have your pictures taken.

Becca is all ordering everyone around.

Parry is standing back a bit watching the picturetime commotion.

Lisa is staying near Cassie in case she makes a break for it.

Marion is calm in the face of all this chaos.

The mom is trying to get all of you together for a picture.

Jemison and Watson and Cassie and Zoe are here. Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Zoe hunkers in a ladybug costume like a wolf in cute sheep's clothing.
Note 33
It takes a baby to stop a baby, clearly. Since Zoe has upped the ante by blocking your actions directly, you get to stop her by using Jemison.
Note 34
Poor Parry. He's responsible for you getting the toy once again.
Note 35
So much of baby life consists of being dressed by your parents in uncomfortable or embarrassing outfits.
You examine the squid
It is like a squid if a squid was all plush and powder blue and didn't have any suckers. You are wearing it and its tentacles cover your arms and hands.

The mom says, "That's an interesting costume Watson's wearing." Watson must know he's being talked about, he ducks his head and looks sad.
You examine the bumblebee
The tiny antennas and tiny wings totally make the costume.

"We made it ourselves," Parry replies.
You look at the pumpkin
Round but not so round that Cassie cannot zoom around in it.

Becca laughs all loud. "It's not very cheerful--whoops, hold on there Jemison." Zoe must've pushed Jemison because he starts to topple sideways before Becca rescues him.
Wait
Time passes.

Parry is all huffy, "We wanted something different from the usual."
Go downward
You start to move and then there is the mom, she pushes you back in place. "Whoa, kiddo, we've got to get a picture of everyone."

"Does that thing have buttons? That'll make it fun to take off if he spits up on it," Becca laughs again.
You smile
You smile and make a bubbly laugh noise, it is the thing you do that makes everyone say "oh my goodness how cute!"

Cassie bounces up and down next to you and you try to back away from her but your tentacles get in your way. "Keep the kids together!" Lisa calls, pointing a small camera at all of you.
You jump
There is no way you are going to jump, you can barely crawl.

Parry and the mom get you all in place on the couch. The mom dangles your favorite toy in front of all of you! You and Zoe stare raptly at it and then Parry says "Now!" and it is like a thousand suns explode in front of you and all you can see are these white and red spots.
Wait
Time passes.

As the spots clear you see Watson has pitched face first into the couch. Zoe is busy tugging on Jemison's wings and Cassie is chewing on one of your tentacles. "Hope no one wanted another picture!" Becca says.
You examine the tentacles
It is like a squid if a squid was all plush and powder blue and didn't have any suckers. You are wearing it and its tentacles cover your arms and hands.

The parents give up and take you all off the couch. As the mom puts you down she stops by the bookcase and puts your toy up there. "Maybe next year they'll sit still," Lisa sighs, and Parry just snorts.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.
Go west
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

You can see a rattly car here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You spit on costume
You reach deep down inside you and bring up some of those stupid prunes the mom was feeding you and spit them up on the squid costume, making it all dirty[36].
You pull up on Watson
You would but the tentacles of your stupid squid costume are too slick[37].
Note 37
You know what's more fun in IF than only being able to carry a few things? Being able to carry nothing.
Go southeast
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a brix blox bucket here.

Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.
You pull up on the mom
You rub up against the legs of the mom and she looks down and says, "Oh, oh, your costume is all dirty, kiddo." She lifts you up and the next thing you know you are back on the ground and free of that evil squid costume.

Watson wanders in from the northwest.
You pull up on Watson
You can't pull up on Watson to stand.

Watson tries to look through the brix blox bucket to the brix blox inside it.

Jemison crawls to the north.
Go northwest
This is the south end of the loveseat, there is more loveseat to the north and a big play area to the east and to the south is the couch that is bigger than the loveseat.

You can see a rattly car here.
You go to the southeast
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

Cassie and Jemison are here. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable. Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee.

Cassie falls forward onto her hands and then she is crawling off to the north.
You go to the south
Here is where the middle of the couch is. If you want to play you should totally go north to the middle of the room where there is a lot of space. There is more couch to the east and west.

Those are the mom's legs there by the couch.

You can also see a brix blox bucket here.

Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume.
You kick the bucket
You are way not coordinated enough to do that.

Watson gazes at the brix blox bucket.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a rolly car thing.

Parry says, "I don't know, that sounds like a clever idea."
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a nuclear reactor model.

The mom is indignant, "My child is not a dog to be on a leash!" Good for her, there is no way you'd wear a leash.
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a wall.

Lisa says, "When you get down to it, babies are about as smart as pets. Cassie might as well be a hyperactive Yorkie."
Turn page
You flip the pages by scrabbling at them until you are looking at this blocky diagram of a poosh stick.

"Lisa!" Marion says. "That's horrible!"
You put the remote in the mouth
You shove the remote control in your mouth and start chewing on it and that leaves your hands free.

"It's true!" Lisa says. "They make messes on the floor and can't talk and you can classically condition them."
You pull up on the mom
The mom laughs and says, "Where did you find that?" as she pulls the remote out of your mouth.

Then Parry sees you and her with the remote and says, "That reminds me, I'd like to put in a Baby Feynman video for Watson." There is then this big pregnant pause before Parry says, "Uh, if that's okay."

The mom is quiet, she is probably communicating with the other moms using only her eyes and mom-telepathy[39] because wasn't Parry anti-TV for kids before? And then she says, "Sure!" So Parry heads over to the TV and drags the baby swing out of the way of the TV and over by the bookcase and turns the TV on.

"You know," Parry says, "A combination playpen and Skinner box might sell really well[40]."
Note 39
As best I can tell, mom telepathy comes from moms having had a large shared pool of experiences when it comes to babies.
Note 40
This is my favorite of all of the parents' conversations, mainly for this line right here.
You sit
Since you are already sitting you can't sit again or maybe it's like you've already succeeded at sitting.

Becca says, "That is the kind of thing people call Child Protective Services about."

Watson looks at the instruction booklet and his hands move so fast they are almost blurry and the dayglo blox go together and suddenly Watson has built a poosh stick. He looks at it and then drops it.
You take the stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

"I'm not sure Child Services gets called that often to rescue kids from Skinner boxes," Parry says.
You go to the north
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.

The mom is still all huffy, "Kids aren't pets."
Go northeast
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a soft foam block, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, a little doll, a teeny squeezy book, and a teething ring here.

Zoe has hold of a plastic cup all sadly.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You look at the toy
This is the thing your aunt gave you which is a super fun toy. It has places to chew and places that are shiny and it rattles when you shake it. Right now it is up on the bookcase, it is like nearly half a parent high.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You examine the switch
That is the switch that controls how high the swing goes, it can be set to lo, med, or hi. Right now it is on lo.

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
You cry
You let out this sobbing wail and the mom says, "Shh, it's okay."

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You cry
When you cry again the mom says, "Shh. Calm down."

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
You take the toy
You have short arms, you can't reach your favorite toy from down here.

Zoe climbs down off of the short plastic block.
You give the stick to Zoe
Zoe eyes you coldly, no way she is taking anything from you.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.
You drop the stick
Dropped.

Zoe gets onto the tall plastic block.
You cry
This time you add a lot of tremolo to your crying and the mom says, "You're not going to calm down, are you, kiddo? Do you need the swing?"

The mom asks the other parent people, "Do any of you have a suggestion for a baby sitter?" W. T. F.
You cry
"Okay, kiddo, let's check you and make sure," the mom says and scoops you up. "Diaper's okay. You're not hungry. To the swing!" You're airlifted into the swing and the mom straps you in. She turns it on, click click click, and then you are swinging really high.

Small Open Area (in the baby swing)
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

About half a parent high in the bookcase is your favorite toy.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest.

You can also see a poosh stick, a plastic cup, a soft foam block, a tall plastic block (on which is Zoe), a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, a little doll, and a teeny squeezy book here.

The mom goes on, "We've got a Christmas party to go to in a month or so, and we've never used a babysitter before." No, really--W. T. F.???

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.
You take the toy
You stretch for the toy but it is just barely out of reach.

Marion says, "Didn't you have luck with Susan, Lisa?" Susan, that's a name that sounds okay.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.
You take toy
You stretch for the toy but it is just barely out of reach.

Lisa says, "I've used Susan two--no, three times. She said Cassie was great." Lisa pauses all thoughtful like. "Maybe she was lying to get a bigger tip."

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.
You take the toy
You stretch for the toy but it is just barely out of reach.

"I didn't think she was all that," Becca says. "I had her keep Zoe once. Susan and Zoe didn't get along at all." This Susan is sounding better all the time.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.
You take the toy
You stretch for the toy but it is just barely out of reach.

Marion says, "You could have Susan visit ahead of time to look for any problems."

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it. At the top of the swing you are way close to your toy.

Zoe watches you swing back and forth, back and forth.

Parry comes wandering by with his water glass but he stops when he sees you swinging. He looks at your favorite toy. He looks at you. He looks at your toy. He looks at Zoe. He looks at how close you get to your favorite toy. When he is all done with his looking he casually leans against the bookcase and taps your toy. It totally falls a bit closer! He winks at you and heads on by[41].
Note 41
Since Parry had helped you accidentally in the first two sections, I wanted him to help you directly in the third. Plus I figured he'd be on the side of truth and justice -- yours.
You take the toy
You stretch your arms but they are still too much like teeny T. Rex arms so then you scrunch down in your swing and stretch out a leg and as you swoop up again you just are able to kick the toy! It flies into the air and onto your lap! But as you swing back Zoe leans over from the tall block and swats at the toy and you swat at her and the upshot is the toy goes flying again and it goes kerplunk into the playpen.

This is the worst playdate ever.

"I'll give her a call, then," the mom says.
You leave
You are way high in the baby swing and are all swinging, you are not some stunt baby who is used to taking falls.

The baby swing clicks and clacks as it swings really high, and the whole world tilts and turns as you swing with it.

Zoe gets onto the medium plastic block.

You look up and there is the mom, you are swinging toward her face and away, toward and away. She turns off the swing and gets you down and puts you on the floor before going back to her seat.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. Through the mesh you can see your favorite toy.

You can also see a poosh stick, a plastic cup, a soft foam block, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, a medium plastic block (on which is Zoe), a little doll, and a teeny squeezy book here.
You take the stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

Zoe gets onto the short plastic block.
Note 42
I like you having to team up with your antagonist, even if only for a little while. Though it's not a perfect arrangement: try pushing the oval with the poosh stick on the side where Zoe is.
You go southwest
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast.
You enter the playpen
You get into the southwest part of the playpen.

Lisa suddenly says, "Parry! Are you eating Cheerios?"

Parry sounds all sheepish, "Yeah."

Becca is all "I hope you don't mind crumbs all over your loveseat, Farina," and everyone laughs but Parry.
You go northeast
You move to the other part of the playpen.

Small Open Area (in the northeast part of the playpen)
You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

You can also see a plastic cup, a soft foam block, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, a little doll, and a teeny squeezy book here.

In the northeast part of the playpen you can see your favorite toy.

Zoe has hold of a teething ring loosely.

Zoe grabs your favorite toy.
You take the toy
Zoe sees you coming for the toy! She will not let you have it!

Zoe runs off to the south with your toy! SHE HAS YOUR TOY!

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You go outside
You get out of the northeast part of the playpen.

You are east of the gliding rocking chair that is fun to ride on and north of the big TV that Sesame Street comes from. On the wall is a big bookcase full of chewy books. There is a way into the kitchen to the north but one of those baby gates is there, that is no fair.

There is a big old baby swing all shoved up against the bookcase.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the southwest. The playpen is all open.

You can also see a plastic cup, a soft foam block, a tall plastic block, a short plastic block, a medium plastic block, a little doll, and a teeny squeezy book here.
You take the stick
You pick it up and it takes two hands.

"Cassie is really pulling up well," the mom tells Lisa.
You go west
The gliding rocking chair is all tall and wooden. It is where the mom rocks you when she thinks you need a nap even though you do not need naps. The loveseat is west and there is a small open area to the east and a big open area in the middle of the room to the south.

There are Becca's legs, they are by the rocking chair.

You can also see a smooth rock, a plush book, and a much-loved kangaroo here.

"Oh, thanks," Lisa says. "She's probably too good at pulling up and climbing, to tell you the truth."

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!
You go west
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

On the north pink striped loveseat is a cup of Cheerios.

You can see Parry here.

"We've been working on pulling up," the mom says, boy is she going to be surprised by all the practice you're getting today.
Note 43
True story: at my son's first birthday party, he knocked over a small cup of Cheerios, spilling them near my feet. Instantly, every baby at the party crawled towards us, swarming around me.

Cheerios are baby crack.
You drop the stick
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
Dropped.

Lisa says, "You're just annoyed that Jemison just sits there--" but Becca keeps on talking, "So your kid pulls up or cruises or whatever. Big deal!"

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!

Watson wanders in from the south.
You look at Zoe
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
Grr, Zoe Kinmundy. That little red-haired girl[44] has this ladybug costume on, it is supposed to be cute but you are not fooled. Her red hair is in pigtails, like that will fool anyone into thinking she is nice. She has a death-grip on your favorite toy and a teething ring. She is over by the TV to the east.

Parry says, "Kids develop at different speeds. It's not as if I'll still be helping Watson pull up when he goes to college."

You hear this rattle jingle, it is Zoe playing with your toy!

Jemison picks up some Cheerios and munches on them.
You go to the south-east
(tearing yourself away from the Cheerios)
You have to push your way past Watson, Jemison, and Cassie thanks to those Cheerios and that slows you down.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast. The playpen is all open.

"As long as Zoe doesn't fall too far behind, I'm not worried," Marion says.
Go east
The entertainment center here holds the TV all towering above you and it has these glass doors beneath the TV that you can see stereo equipment through. You are near the couch to the south and the middle of the living room to the west and there is a small open area to play in to the north.

Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!

"Yeah," Parry says. "It won't bother me if Watson is like many boys and is slower to talk."
You take the toy
Zoe sees you coming for the toy! She will not let you have it!

Zoe runs off to the west with your toy!

"As long as Cassie is ahead of where she's supposed to be, I won't worry either," Lisa says.

Now on TV all of these stars are gathering together, it is like they are having a big star party.
Go west
This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. This is where everybody plays because it is so big. But when you get bored there is a bunch of other stuff you can go to like the TV to the east and the loveseat to the west and the couch to the south and the gliding rocking chair to the north.

Part of your playpen is here, there is more of it to the northeast. The playpen is all open.

Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY!
You take the toy
Zoe sees you coming for the toy! She will not let you have it!

Zoe runs off to the northwest with your toy!
Go northwest
This is the part of the loveseat that is to the north. It goes on to the south and you could totally slip around the end of the loveseat to the west. There is the rocking chair to the east as well, that is always fun.

Those sure are a bunch of Cheerios spilled everywhere.

You can also see a poosh stick and Parry here.

Zoe and Watson and Jemison and Cassie are here. Zoe has your toy! ZOE HAS YOUR TOY! Watson is gloomy in his sad homemade bat costume. Jemison is all dressed like a bumblebee. Cassie is dressed in this pumpkin costume, it is adorable.

Cassie grabs a handful of Cheerios and inhales them.
You take the toy
Zoe tries to crawl away, but there are babies and Cheerios and it is a big train-wreck and she cannot get away!

You lunge forward and yank on the toy and Zoe is all distracted by Cheerios and the toy pops out of her evil sweaty grasp! You have your toy!

Zoe screws up her face and bursts into these loud wails, they are so terribly loud. She shoves at Cassie who also starts crying and soon just about everyone is crying except you, ha ha, they are such babies.

Marion says, "I was afraid we were staying too late past Zoe's naptime. Farina, everyone, it's been fun, and glad you could come, Parry. See everyone next week." Hands come down and the squalling Zoe zips up into the air and into Marion's arms. Soon all of the babies are going skywards, parentwards, and out-the-doorwards.

With them all gone the air kinda leaks out of you, it has been a long playdate. The mom gathers you and your favorite toy up. "C'mon, kid, let's get you to bed before you completely pass out." But you do not need naps, does she not understand that?

Though your crib is nice and soft and your favorite toy chimes a bit as you curl around it and your teeny eyelids are so heavy.

So...heavy....
Xyzzy
Please give one of the answers above.
Xyzzy
Everything you try just winds you tighter in the darkness, this sucks.

You are trying not to breathe fast, it is hard when you are so closed in.
You remove the cover
(first taking the blanket)
Everything you try just winds you tighter in the darkness, this sucks.

The darkness is all scratchy on your skin.
You cry
Suddenly the darkness is gone, and it is so light, you are blinded for just a second. You blink and blink and then you can see the mom holding the blanket she was covering you with. "Oh, kid, I'm so sorry, I thought you were having fun," she says. "We'll do something else."

That'll teach her.

A child, a toy, and a rival by Stephen Granade

All rights reserved.
Type ABOUT for more information.

This is the middle of the living room, it is all big and vast. But it would be bigger and vaster if there weren't all these pillows and stuff in a big ring around you. The mom is totally all paranoid and whatever, she is a new mom.

There is a red footstool, it looms over you.

The mom is playing with you and is all excited about it.

You can also see a squishy ball, a plush book, and your favorite toy here.

You eye your favorite toy and the mom sees you doing it and scoops it up. "No, no, we're going to try pulling up!" She is all the time trying to build your character or something. She waves the toy at you. "Look! Look where I'm putting it!" She drops the toy on the footstool where you can't see it unless you're all pulled up, that is just no fair.