Anna In Kungfuland
The actors: They have three facial expressions and emotions: 1. Overly silly happy, 2. wooden (no, wood has more expression on it...), 3. saaaad, in fact sooo saaad you wonder if they die of that damn stupid face.

The Plot: I've been watching Asian movies for many years now and I am used to the different mentality and sometimes absurd stories and to westeners sometimes unlogic cut of the movie. But this really tops everything I have ever seen in being senseless, dumb and unlogic. A martial arts contest is being held to promote a health drink. Kin (Ekin Cheng) flies to Japan to get a great kung fu master to attend the tournament but this master sends his daughter instead. Before I really recognized what's going on, Anna (Miriam Yeung) is close to Kin but Kin already has a girl friend which is being covered with the help of Kin's brother. No, there is not this hide the one from the other stuff going on. The two guys are "so good" at twisting things that both girls can sit together with Kin not realising he goes out with both of them... And when I write "so good" I mean a 2 year old (if he could talk properly) would be able to see through it. I told myself maybe I'm just too stupid to understand what's going on here but in the end I have to admit I just saw the most stupidly scripted movie ever... Ed Wood movies have a better plot that makes more sense. Oh, I almost forgot the martial arts contest. That's because you almost forget about it while watching the movie. In between this torrent of stupidity there are a couple of very, very boring martial arts sequences. They look a bit like some sort of "beginner's guide to basic martial arts moves".

Action: There are some martial arts scenes but as I said above they are really, really basic and boring. The charakters are so awefully cheap and lame looking it makes you beg the movie to switch back to the dumb wanna be romantic plot - which then makes you think about burning the movie or sueing the producer of the movie for psychological cruelty. All interesting martial arts scenes cut together would result in about 2-3 minutes of action. These 2-3 minutes would include parts of 6 different fights. So bottom line is every action scene has no more than 2 or 3 good moves and they are repeated throughout every fight scene...

Cult factor: Z-E-R-O!!! The movie is meant to be comic style which it succeeds in. And you know there are a lot of reaally baad comics on the market...

I give this movie a 2, worst Asian movie I've ever seen.,