text: ABERDEEN HERALD »<■ E HOUSEHOLD. uit Like a Woman. Chicago comes a delightful of Greek. In the clos of the Exposition a weary came into tlieparlors of sh exhibit, and sitting I a handsome sofa, first nesting B cushions, then turned and put to secure a recnmbent posture, this, a Scotchwoman, who rge of the exhibit, approached ted. im tired," said the other wo d I wish to rest." however against the rules," b manager, "that these couches used to lie upon; I will bring cushions and make you as com n possible, but you can not lie e." lam from England. This place just for us, and why shouldn't nfortable?" t argue that with you, I am here ) the rules, and must obey my ins." ler woman continued to protest, nore offensive as she was met ;inued firm, though civil resist- I at last she played what shecon ler trump card. tin," she exclaimed, drawing p, "it is time that I let you know n; lam a second cousin of the [Argyll." Icotch woman's eyes gleamed. I settles it," she replied instantly pively. lam a Graham of Clever |nd between your family and mine [of five hundred years standing, rll trespasses here while a Gra in charge." 10 Areyll did.—Cincinnati Corn- Gazette. user In ClteAp Toothbrushes. In toothbrushes are responsible for obscure ailments of the throat, such as toothbrushes, which are not properly fastened, and come off in dozens when brought in contact with the teeth. The bristles are not properly fastened, and come off in dozens when brought in contact with the teeth. You can imagine how much it must be to have a single toothbrush. You cough until exhausted, but nothing moves it. Joshua Reynolds Painted the Famous Siddons Portrait of his methods were peculiarly painted, and his sitters from their own in a mirror, and not from a new. He always remained standing at work, and he rarely signed it. One notable exception, however, was made in the case of his magnificent portrait of Mrs. Siddons as the statue, which was painted when the statue was sixty years old and when the statues were twenty-eight. The dress failing at first to recognize a embroidery which the artist had on the edge of her robe, soon found that it contained the words: "Reynolds portrait, 1784;" where the statue, in the case of Joshua, assured her that he was proud to have his name go to posterity on the border of her garment. Before commencing this picture, instead of posing the sitter, requested Mrs. Siddons to give her own idea of the tragic Muse, and immediately assumed the pose in the pictures was bainted. He never saw mention made of the circumstance that many portraits seem to have unconsciously given sisters a shade of resemblance to their features. Van Dyck's portraits will bear a trace of the master's figure in face and figure. The work of the Rubens and Rubens gives countenance to the same theory, and Rembrandt him the same is true of Sir Joshua's. By being partly, but not entirely, accurate, by the fact that not only individuals of any one nation bear a resemblance to each other, and the same is true of the whole people of one nation, but also of the whole people of any given nation but the main reasons seem to be the artist unconsciously imitates his career. From "Sir Joshua Reynolds," in the January number Scribner's Magazine, published in the January number Scribner's Magazine, the following is a corrected version of the order: "In periodical literature not only its significance to the general reader, but also to the general reader, is the receipt on the 9th of December by the Cosmopolitan Magazine for the order given below. A single order of news company for one hundred magazines! That is almost an event of the world. A like order has before been made, and if past remaintance it means considerably than half a million circulation for the paper Cosmopolitan. Yet when the authorities and artists in the December number are examined, one is not so much surprised. A book publisher, preparing such a book would not dare incur these expenses short of $5.01 a copy. Is it not a revolution that is an improvement upon old methods a revolution of importance to the reading public? The order to which reference is made reads as follows: "Publisher Cosmopolitan. Dear Sir:— Of the 200,000 copies of December number to be sent to us, please send as follows: 172,050 copies regular edition, 27 250 copies R. R. edition. Yours respectfully, The American News Company." CHILDREN'S CORNER. My Christmas Present. Through my doorway Christmas morning, Sped a little figure fleetly, A fur-clad boy, brimful of joy, And this he said to me sweetly: "I had no presents to bring you, And gifts I think are pleasant; But I'm often told I'm as good as gold, So won't I do for a present?" And all of that Christmas morning, With prattle and smiles endearing, He stayed at my side till I gleefully cried, "Was over again shopping?" - Youth's Companion. A Trick Question. Here is a stunning question to ask members of a grammar class: Which is correct, to say "Two times three is eight," or "two times three are eight?" Of course, when seen in print, the solution is apparent, but when asked, with the necessary emphasis on the italics, it is even puzzling enough to catch a high-school graduate. Another Good Trick. How can you take off your vest without removing your coat? This seems an absurd question to ask, and yet it can be done, and yet it can be done, and that too without cutting, tearing, or damaging the vest in any way, and without removing either arm from the sleeves of the coat. It is easier to operate on some other person. If a number of people are present, select the one who has the loosest fitting coat and vest; any coal will do that is large enough at the sleeves to allow the hand and wrist to be inserted. Proceed to unbutton the vest in front and loosen the strap behind. Then place your hand underncuth the coat in the back, taking hold of (lie bot tom of the vest, at the same time request ing the person to extend his arms at full length over his head; then raise the whole back of the vest over his head. If the vest is a tight one it may require a little forcing, but you can soon bring it over so that it will be stretched in front, across the chest. Now take the left bot tom end of the vest and put it in the arm hole of the coat at the left shoulder. Put your other hand up the sleeve, seize the end and draw it down over the hand. This will release the one arm-hole of the vest, and you can then pull the whole vest back again out of the sleeve of the coat and insert the same end as-before, into the other arm-hole of the coat, this time drawing the whole vest through the sleeve and thus performing the trick. With a little practice you can remove your own vest, Qnly it must be pulled over the head from above. Try it. IN GBNKRAL. San Francisco has had a million-dollar fire, the Cull and Bulletin newspa|ier plants being among the losses. Interest in the trans-Pacific cubic, which has lain dormant for several years, has been revived by the Hawaiian muddle. The trial of C. J. Mulkey, Win. Dunbar and P. J. Bannon, the Portland smug glers, resulted in their conviction. They ask a new trial. The Brazilian situation remains un changed, with one day in favor of the insurgents and tho next in favor of the government, with the indication that the rebellion will finally bo put down. The Metropolitan Traction Company, of New York, offers a prize of $50,000 for an improved system of propelling street cars which shall be equal to the trolley or cable system, with the end in view of securing a system for use in New York, where neither of the above named are practicable. Last Saturday the Santa Fe system of railroads passed into the hands of a receiver, upon the complaint of the Union Trust Company. Inability to meet maturing obligations the cause. Joseph W. Reinhart, president of the system; John J. McCook, its general counsel, and Joseph C. Wilson, of Topeka, are the receivers. NEWS OF THE STATE. The state land commission has purchased for the state $15,000 of Chehalis school bonds. Wm. Hokby, engineer in the Cutler block at Seattle, had a narrow escape from suffocation in the elevator pressure tank which he was cleaning. He was kept alive by forcing air in with a hand bellows. The new courthouse of Pacific county has been finished, and accepted by the commissioners. Nearly 30,000 sacks of oysters have been taken out of Willapa harbor this season, netting $411,000. Lewis county warrants have risen to 95, with the prospects of reaching par, owing to an increasing demand. A. V. Fawcett's annual Christmas dinner to the children at Tacoma was attended by about 1090 children from 2 to 15 years old. Two boys killed two cub bear near Boise. For the fork, one day last week, with clubs and a pocket knife, while the mother and a third cub escaped. Major Clarence M. Barton, a newspaper man of national repute, and for several years a resident of Tacoma, died at Oswego, Oregon, Sunday morning. Port Angeles is trying to get a customs house and post office building costing one-half of the proceeds of the sale of government lots which occurs January 1. The St. Paul & Tacoma Lumber Company, at Tacoma, have received an order for 100,000 feet of fir to be used in place of oak in constructing the government canal at Keokuk, Iowa. While Mr. and Mrs. McGovern, of Tacoma, were attending the theater at Tacoma, Saturday night, thieves broke into the house and stole $7000 in cash and $2000 worth of jewels which were hidden in a trunk. There have been 183 plans submitted for the million dollar capitol building to be erected at Olympia. They are from all parts of the country, and will be examined by a commission immediately after the first of the year. OCCASIONAL HALLOWE'S. Happy new year to all. The dance at the Land Company's hall was a great success. It is said that Johnnie would make a good newspaper man. Miss Cora Lewis, of Hoquiam, is visiting her parents in this place. Miss Myrtle Cunningham, of Gate City, is stopping at the N. P. hotel. H. W. Gumm was doing business in Hoquiam and Aberdeen, Monday. C. K. D. Hall and Sydney Croft, of Markham, were seen on our streets last Sunday. The Ocosta cornet band is progressing finely under the instructions of W. A. Daborne. Rev. H. Jenkins, of Johns River, passed through to Westport to preach before it is too late. Frank Peterson has been awarded the Contract for carrying the Ocosta and Westport mails. There is some talk of organizing a debating society. Why not? All the other harbor towns have one. John Shield, president of the Westport Land Company, was transacting legal business here this week. Workmen have commenced to drive piling for the breakwater to be erected at the Redmond creek dyke. The new saw mill was started up Tuesday to try the machinery, and everything was found to work perfect. It. L. Austin, the correspondent to the Ledger, is in trouble over an article in that paper written from this place. A good many of the boys are in from the logging camps, and as a result our streets present quite a business-like appearance. A society called the Ocosta Social Club has been organized. They will give a grand ball on now year's night at the McCandlass hall. The Christmas tree on Saturday night was handsome and elegantly arranged. All received a present and listened to a fine literary program prepared by the young folks. ABKANSAW SCHOOL. Christmas at Laywater School House. At the Laywater school house, up the Wishkah, on Monday night, a very beautiful tree, finely decorated and loaded with those things which make glad the hearts of old and young, was unveiled at about 7:30. A very interesting program was carried out, consisting of an opening address by S. H. Smith, followed by songs, tableaux, recitations, etc. Santa was then ushered in and gladly welcomed by the houseful of anticipating people. The work of stripping the tree was then commenced and Santa's queer antics and droll sayings made the youngsters shout with glee. After a half hour spent in a social way, the company broke up, all pronouncing it a very enjoyable event. The scholars of the public schools are making good use of this their last vacation before spring. SAGE LEWIS. Eddy and by J. BIM.IXS SACIE, sukstsscr to J. BIM.IXS SACIE, deseest. I.ecvs from mi dlurry nir United siiire leevs beckmv.i ttaii air i?ood mudyouu fur tho blews. I liev alwais notist tlict sound travulsa grate deel phaster at noon than it duz in tho mornin. Ahburdeen sawmils liev tew bio three wissuls loud enuf tew waik tho ded in tho mornin bee 4 the wurkmen kan bee indewst tew leev thair nests, butt 1 littul toot at 12 o'clock will maik every last man uv em tew drop hiz wurk and run like a streek uv litenin. I nevur knu wi mi kuzin marrid a deef an dum wootnan til I marrid one that wuz nott deef nor dum. Ef I lied ltt tew doo agin, I'd proffit bi mi kuzin's egg sample. She hez tew tawk thru her pliingers, and wen the lamp iz putt out she kant tawk at awl. Woodn't I bee hapy ef I cood lay nee down at nite with out ekspectin every minit tew here a voyse in a hi kee sain, Joshway, air yew sliure yew lokt awl the dores? Joshway, did yew put out tho old katt? Joshway, tho baby iz kryin, git up and fedo im sum soothin surrup; Joshway, I think thair's a mowse in the room; Joshway, you shood ort tew lurn tew spel bee 4 yew rite furpapurs; Joshway, itt's dalite, git up and bihl a pliire. SAGE ON I'IIOOI.S. Thair iz cz menny kinds uv pliools in the world ez thair iz dais in a speshul seshun uv kongres. Tha don't all live in Abburdeeen, but sum dew. Abburdee iz a liclthy place for pliools." The watter here iz sawlt, and the pliools air phresh, sow tha live a good wife, unless tha git tew phresh; then sumtimes the toun foaks giv em a kote uv tarr and fethurs and karry em out on a rale tew a helthyer place. The man hoo stands on the lim wen he sawz it oph from the tree iz 1 kind uv a phool; and the man hoo helps tew kloze up a faktory ware he's urniu liiz daly bred back wz lice wants 5 sents more daly wag ez and 10 raiuits les time, iz anuther phool uv the saiin koffin. The man hoo spends 50c a da fur to bucko, pain spot kash fur tho luchshurv, and gits trustid fur his grosereez iz 1 phool, and the groseree man hoo trusts him iz anuther. I don't sa tobacko iz hurtful. It hez menny virchews. It sharpenz the undcrstundin. I tride it onct wen I wuz a kid goin tew schule. I saw a big boy taik a chaw and I thawt I'd tri sum tew. I tride sum, and it wuz only a littlo wile bec4 I knu more than I ever did—about tobacko. It awlso pre zcrvs the teeth. I knu a man hoo hed chawed it 50 years and I askt him tew show niee biz teeth. Tha was awl sound and on 1 peese of hard rubbur plait. I saw him taik em out and put em back agin—tha wuz awl sound. Hee Bed tha never aked sense he uzed tobacko. I liurd uv 1 man hoo lived on tobacko siks weaks. It iz awl rite fur him, butt I al luz throve better on beafstake and taters. Tobacko juse awlso prezervs flores and and karpets. It iz better fur smawl insex than microbo killer. I only objekt tew a man's rnakin a distinkshun between the groseree man and the wooden Injun. Sum yeers thair is an over-produckshun uv phools; that iz sum foaks think sow; butt I think it is nott over-produckshun sow mutch cz undcr-konsumshun, thair nott bein konsumpshuu. enutF to karry em oph. Phools maik up about % the popylation uv inost tounz, tho I hev knu sum tounz tew ekseed thet figgur, owin tew a boom in reel estait. The man hoo sells out hiz horn in the stait uv Mighegun er Injcanna witch he hed pade fur, and putts the mutiny in -tiildin lots, sum uv wich air under watter and sum standin up strait ez ft bronko wen hee smelz a bare, iz a phool. Thair iz nott sow mutch munny in this bizniss ez thair iz eckspeeriens. I'd ruther hev 5 gents wurtli uv kash in an oph yeer than 5 dollers wurtli uv eckspeericns. Eckspeeriens kepes a deer skule, butt phools will tern in no uther, and sum woant lern thair. Vast beds of oysters have been disco v ered in the vicinity of Killisnoo, Alaska, in a latitude supposed to be much too cold for their growth, but the wonderful Japan current, which warms this whole Northwest, reaches clear up there, and these oysters are said to be as large and fine as those of the Atlantic coast. Strength and Health. If you are not feeling strong and healthy, try Electric Bitters. If "La Grippe" has left you weak and weary, use Electric Bitters. This remedy acts directly on Liver, Stomach and Kidneys, gently aiding those organs to perform their functions. If you are afflicted with Sick Headache, you will find speedy and permanent relief by taking Electric Bitters. One trial will convince you that this is the remedy you need. Large bottles only 50c. For sale at Evans & Schroder's drug store, COUNTY REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS The following are the real estate transfers for Chisholm county, Wash., for the week ending December 20, 1903: J A Graham, as sheriff, to H Halliday, part lots 3, 4, blk 27, Elma. $5 E J Mullin to O Carlson, sw'j of lot 13, blk 04, Hoquiam (JO). O A Myers to E 1. Harrison, 4, 5, 7, blk 31, Cosmopolis; lots 3, 4, Parson's blk, in Wishkali add to Aberdeen 1090 E F Grant to G M Cochran, lots 7 to 18, bik 8, Kyles add Montesano 1 C Benner to E E Weed, sw'j nw'i and nw'4 22-19-12 2500 F P Swinson to M C Quinn, lots 11, 13, 14, blk 16, L& A add to Elma 150 N L Calder to M C Quinn, lots 15, 10, blk 15, L& A add to Elma 100 J. Starr et al to A. K. Plielon, east 53K rods of northwest of northwest 5-17-7.. 1 Ocosta Land Co to A. K. Plielon, lot 9, blk 16; lot 4, blk C; lot 1, blk 55; lots 3, 4, blk 3; lot 8, blk 39; lots 15, 10, blk 34, Ocosta 4500 Ocosta Land Co to W. H. Cramer, lot 10, blk 28; lot 1, blk 51, Ocosta.. 950 Ocosta Land Co to W. H. Cramer, Its 5, 6, 7, blk 77; lots 7, 8, 9, blk 80; lots 10 to 6, blk 103; lots 19 to 24, blk 176; Its 4, 5, 6, blk 223, Ocosta 3700 Ocosta Land Co to J. C. Plielon, lots 23, 24, blk 28; lot 4, blk 56; It 19, blk 29, Ocosta—slsoo; 31 lots in First add to Ocosta—sssoo 7000 F. D. Arnold to E. A. Poison, % int in lot 3 and of seW 24-16-12.... Price, $1 by mail, securely packed. Correspondence confidential. Sole agents for America. Address The Skookum Root Hair Grower Company, Dept. R., 57 South Fifth Ave. New York. Malaria, Warrants! State and County, Bought. Also other Securities Negotiated. Stephen Ogden, Berlin Building, Tacoma, Wash. The Reliance Market, Henry F. Schwab, Prop. Fresh and Salted Meats at the Lowest Market Prices. Heron Street, Aberdeen, Wash. Grays Harbor Market, Hans Stoecke, Prop. Supplies the Best of Everything in the Line of Fresh Meats. Shipping Supplied at Reasonable Rates. Heron Street, Aberdeen, Wash. Liver Regulator is the Liver Regulator and Kidney medicine to which you can pin your faith for a cure. A laxative, and purely vegetable, act directly on the Liver and Kidneys. Try it. Sold by all Druggists in Liquid, or in Powder to be taken dry or made into a tea. The King of Liver. Medicines. "I have used your Simmons Liver Regulator and can conscientiously say it is the king of all liver medicines, I consider it a medicine chest in itself."—Dr. W. W. Jackson, Tacoma, Washington. "Ever a package has the stamp in red on wrapper. New and Clean. On Main Business Street. Merchants Hotel. (EUROPEAN.) M. E. Uoiui, Manager. Strictly First-Class, Finest Suites of Rooms in the City Best Location for Commercial Men All rooms have heat and electric light without extra charge. Near cor. G and Heron sts. ABERDEEN, - WASHINGTON D. F. Johnston, J. M. Weatherwax, President. Vice President H. A. Hayes, Cashier First National Bank OF ABERDEEN, ABERDEEN, - WASH. Capital, - - $50,000 Does a general banking business Foreign and Domestic exchange bought and sold DIRECTORS. J. M. Weatherwax, B. F. Johnston. Jas. Patterson, Alex. Young, C. E. Perkins, W. P. Book, President Samuel Benn, Vice-President, U. S. Thomas, Manager, ABERDEEN BANK. (INCORPORATED.) SUCCESSOR TO C. T. WOODING & CO. RESPONSIBLE SERVICE, $5,000 The Oldest and Strongest Bank on Crays Harbor. Transacts a General Banking Business DEPOSITS FROM $1 UP RECEIVED. Draft drawn on the principal cities of the United States and the old world. All business entrusted to us will receive prompt attention. TRUSTEES: W. P. BOOK, SAMUEL BENN, C. F. WHITE, A. J. KIiOENEUT, G. S. THOMAS. Savings Department. A Special Feature of This Bank Will be Its Savings Department. Deposits from Five Cents and upward received and Five per cent per annum semi annually allowed on same. ABERDEEN Dressmaking Parlors North Side Heron street, near I. ALL CUTTING DONE BY MING. KELLOGG'S SYSTEM OF Ladies French Tailoring AND DRESSMAKING. MME. A. S. SMITH. The managers of the Pacific Hotel are determined to make their hotel a credit to Aberdeen. They are paying particular attention to the table. NO. 12. 