Memoir of Mrs. D. Mallery : wife of Rev. S. Sawyer Mallery, pastor of the Baptist Church, Willington, CT
ze- ^/yj'^<?r/.{) Rk V '' ■ ^ \ A.\W / MEMOIR OF MRS. JERUSHA D. MALLERY, WIPE OF REV. S. SAWYER MALLERY, PASTOR OF THE BAPTIST CHURCH, WILLINGTON, CT. HARTFORD : P. CANFIELD, PRINTER. 1834. THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY 16 o;^o ASTOR, LENOX AND TILOCN FOU^fDATION8. 1899. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1834, by S. Sawyer Mallery, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Connecticut. INTRODUCTION. In the personal history of a female moving in a sphere so circumscribed as that of a country Pastor's wife, it cannot be expected that many events will be recorded, which will interest " a bustling out-of-door world ;" nor does the writer of the following Memoir suppose, that in this book-making age, it will interest even the religious community, beyond the circle of personal friends, sufficiently to justify its publication. But at the urgent request of many of Mrs. M.'s friends, he has consented to have it published for their gratification, as well as for the sake of his children, who will regard it as a precious memorial of their de- parted mother. He hopes, too, that from the interest she took in the cause of Sabbath Schools while living, and from her affectionate and faithful counsels to mo- thers in relation to their children when she lay on her dying bed, it will be deemed worthy of a place in Sunday School libraries. It may be proper to offer an apology for its appear- ing so much later than was expected by those who read an announcement concerning it in the Christian Secretary. The work was scarcely begun, when the revival that succeeded her demise, rendered it impracti- cable to pay any further attention to it till quite re- cently. It is a gratifying circumstance, that the conversation of Mrs. M. in her last hours, in connexion with her death, was among the means employed by the Head of the Church, in "his infinite wisdom, to revive his people and awaken the impenitent. S. S. M. Willington, May 20, 1834. MEMOIR. Mks. Malleky was born in Delphi, New York, on the 21st of April, 1803. Her maiden name was Jeru- sha Dibble. Being deprived of her father while quite young, she and a younger sister removed with their mother to the town of Homer, and became the adopted children of their uncle, the Hon. John Keep, one of the earliest, most useful and highly esteemed members of the Baptist church in that place. To the pious coun- sels and prayers of her beloved uncle and aunt, and the judicious and faithful instructions of her excellent mother, may be attributed many of those amiable qual- ities that have since been so conspicuously developed in the character of an aifectionate wife and faithful mother. The most prominent traits of her character in early life were a pleasant, obliging, affectionate disposition, industry in the improvement of time, and docile sub- mission to parental authority. In January, 1820, a powerful revival of religion pervaded all parts of the town, and many became obedient unto the faith of the gospel. The writer of this memoir was at that time employed as a teacher of youth in the neighborhood where Miss Dibble resided. Nearly twenty of those under his instruction became the hopeful subjects of renewing grace. Miss Dibble was one of the happy number. The following extract from her diary, com- menced soon after her conversion, will show the man- ner in which she was brought out of darkness into God's marvellous light. 1* 6 MEMOIK oy " When I was but a child my mind was at times filled with terror at the thoughts of death. Frequently when I retired to rest, I durst not close my eyes in sleep, for fear 1 should awake in hell. I was unwilling to attend to the subject of religion till I had tasted more of the pleasures of the world. Yet fearing it would then be too late, I was at times almost resolved to be a Christian. I had an impression on my mind that my day of grace would be closed at the age of twelve years ; and if my life were spared beyond that period, I should find no place for repentance, but should have the dreadful judg- ments of God follow me through Hfe. At the age of fourteen I concluded that as what 1 greatly feared had not come upon me, 1 might yet live many years, and at some future and more convenient season make my peace with God. My great excuse was that 1 was no worse than others, and that they run the same risk of losing their souls. The alluring vanities of the world, the amusements of youth occupied my sleeping and waking thoughts. Perhaps no person's mind was ever more intense in the pursuit of pleasure than mine. ' But as I followed, still she flew, Or else transform'd to pain.' For about two years 1 pursued this phantom, always expecting at the next party, or in the possession of some anticipated object, I should be happy. But if 1 obtained it, what 1 expected was not realized. 1 found disappointed hope to be misery. At length 1 was sat- isfied that by pursuing this course I should never be happy, and that the longer 1 continued in it the more wretched 1 should become. Sometimes I wished my- self in the situation of the aged, or of some recluse, shut out from all society. Agreeable society, the pur- suit of an education, the privileges of the domestic cir- cle, had no longer any quietus for my troubled mind. MRS. MALLEKV. 7 My judgment told me that religion would make me happy. 1 was sensible that I had delayed too long already to seek this 'one thing needful.' The time had now come, in which 1 had promised to attend to the things that belonged to my peace. 1 saw that the longer I waited, the more difficult would be the work of repentance. The revival of religion which com- menced in January, 1820, found me in this state of mind. Seeing some of my young companions con- cerned about their souls, 1 was more deeply impressed with the value of my own, and the danger of losing it, by hving longer in sin. For others, I thought there was mercy ; but with me, I feared it was too late. While reflecting on my past life, and the numberless privileges I had enjoyed, it seemed that they had only served to harden my heart. 1 desired conviction, not from a love of holiness, but because I was sure that this was my last call. Thus burdened and distressed on account of my sins, I tried to call upon God. My convictions were not so distressing, nor of so long con- tinuance, as are frequently experienced ; but at a time when hope had nearly expired, when I viewed death not far distant, and eternal misery my portion, it was then I cried unto the Lord, and 1 trust he heard my feeble cries. My burden of sin was removed, and my mind was at ease for a short time. But soon I viewed myself in a worse situation than before. I thought God had left me to hardness of heart and blindness of mind, and that 1 had grieved away the Holy Spirit, or else was about to take up with a false hope. I was fearful that the change in my feelings was not a change o^ heart. Yet not knowing but my sins had been for- given, I was fearful that I should deny what Jesus had done for my soul. It appeared to be a dreadful sin, either to despise the day of small things, or to build on ?? MEMOIR OF a sandy foundation. I thought if I could but be a Christian, I should be thankful, though I were the least of all. My views of myself, of hell, of heaven, and of the character of God, had been so limited, and my sins so aggravated beyond those of many others, that it seemed hardly possible that I had experienced religion. After continuing in this distressing state of mind sev- eral days, 1 trust I was made to see light more clearly. My evidences of adoption into the family of Christ be- gan to brighten. 1 felt to take Jesus as my Prophet, Priest and King. On the first of March, related my experience to the church under the pastoral care of Rev. Alfred Bennet. On the 4th, with fourteen oth- ers, some of whom were my most intimate friends, I followed the example of my Saviour in the delightful ordinance of Christian Baptism. Never will that sol- emn and interesting day be forgotten. The sermon in the afternoon was from Matt. xv. 25, " Lord help me." How earnestly did I desire that God would help us to keep the solemn vows we had taken upon us. " March 19. For the first time commemorated the death and sufferings of a once crucified Saviour, but with many fears, lest I had deceived myself and others in going thus far, and lest by going forward in this ordinance 1 should add sin to sin. For several weeks subsequent to this I enjoyed my mind better than ever before. I now felt satisfied that I had done what the Lord required of me. April 21. God has seen fit to spare my life to the close of my seventeenth year. He only knows whether I shall see the close of another year. If I should not, may my work be done and well done — may my soul be prepared to meet death with a smile — may the van-; ities and sins of my past life be forgiven, and may I spend my time henceforth in the service of my Saviour. MRS. MALLEKY. 9 O thou Friend of sinners, cause me to be as much en- gaged in thy service, as I have been in the service of sin and Satan. May it be my only desire to please thee. Keep me from every evil and false way, and lead me in the way everlasting." The happiness she had sought in vain in the gaie- ties of the fashionable world, she now realized in obe- dience to the commands of Christ. In the society and converse of the pious, in the exercise of private and public devotion, in benevolent exertions to ameliorate the condition of mankind, and in the cultivation of her mind, she enjoyed happiness in the true sense of the word. From numerous entries made in her diary about this time, she seems to have been led on the one hand, to see more distinctly the loveliness of the Sa- viour's character ; and on the other, to feel and lament more deeply the sinfulness of her own heart. She felt to admire the surprising grace of God, that disclosed to her the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and the perfect loveliness of holiness. "Jwwe 7. In Church meeting to-day, sister D., who but a few days since was apparently almost in eternity, most earnestly entreated the members to live to the glory of God. This was loud preaching. It was almost as if one had arisen from the dead. I think I do feel more engagedness in the service of God. A little boy, perhaps ten years old, who offered him- self for baptism, was asked by the Pastor how he thought a professor of rehgion ought to live. " Like a Chris- tian," was his reply. Well, how ought a Christian to live ? He answered without hesitation, " Like Christ." May I ever remember, that as a professor of religion, I ought to live like Christ " June 1 1 . This has been a day Unig to be remem- bered. The truths of the gospel have b(;en sweet to 10 MEMOIR OF my soul. Our pastor preached to the young people. Never did the character, perfections and government of God appear so lovely, and never did I so earnestly desire wisdom and grace, to guide my footsteps aright, while in the slippery paths of youth. This evening, have felt my mind peculiarly drawn out to God in prayer, for the prosperity of Zion, and for the salva- tion of sinners. O, my own dear sister, and my for- mer companions in vanity, how will they stand before their Judge, ' and pass the solemn test.' ^^ June 18. I have much reason to bless God for sor- rows as well as joys. My mind this day has been up- on God more than usual, and I have lost sight of my- self, amidst the charms of Jesus. My greatest desire is to be submissive to the authority of Christ, and wil- ling to bear his cross. Being awakened last night by a severe thunder shower, I continued a long time me- ditating on the approaching day of judgment, when the trumpet shall sound and the dead arise. With pleasure 1 look forward to the day, when, through the abundant grace of God, I hope to be delivered from sin, and goto dwell with Jesus. But where will the sinner and ungodly appear? Oh, my heart is pained for them. This evening, the reading of God's word has been very refreshing to my soul ; it is sweeter than honey or the honey-comb. How many poor souls have not the Bi- ble and means of grace, and how many who do pos- sess them, love them not. Why am I thusdistinguish- ingly blessed of God ? Life is desirable only that I may glorify God, and death pleasant because I hope to be delivered from sin. " Dec. 19. I am now placed in circumstances where I ought to let my light shine. None of my class-mates profess to love Jesus ; but I am a professed follower of the Lamb. How shall I convince them of tho worth MRS. MALLERY. 11 and blessedness of religion, but by living soberly, right- eously, and godly before them, so that they may take knowledge of me, that I have been with Jesus ? ^^ March 1, 1821. For some days past I have been awakened from a state of luke-warmness and stupidity. I find but little comfort in a review of the past winter. Whatever proficiency 1 may have made in science, 1 have made little or none in religion. I have brought forth little or no fruit to the glory of God. O, my leanness, my leanness ! But 1 have to-day enjoyed more of the presence of God than 1 have before for a long time. " March 8. Have had a deeper and more abiding sense of eternal things on my mind than usual. In reading Fuller's ' Symptoms of a Backsliding Spirit,' I find my own character delineated. I am among those whom he describes as having left their first love. O, that the unbelief and hardness of my heart may be removed. O God, call forth all the faculties of my soul into thy delightful service. " April 21. Eighteen years of my life this day, are gone to join themselves to those beyond the flood. Still I am spared a living m.onument of God's mercy. Surely, goodness and mercy have followed me all the days of my life. But alas ! how few returns of love and obedience have I made ! O, for more holiness of heart. Having entered this new year of my life, let me dedicate myself anew to the service of God. ^^ Aug. 16. Death has been commissioned again to enter our circle of relatives. A beloved aunt is no more ; her soul has taken its flight to vast eternity ! May her bereaved husband be comforted by the smiles of Jesus. O may the children experience the sweets of pardoning mercy and redeeming love. May this prov- idence lead me to think less of the world and its vani- 12 MEMOIR or ties, and more of eternity and its realities. O, why do I not seek more earnestly the friendship of Jesus 1 He is able to supply all my wants. His blood can atone for all my sins, his grace can sanctify my heart, his power can subdue my enemies, his wisdom can di- rect my feet, and his spirit can conduct me to glory. ^^ Oct. 9. Thismorningexperienced the trial of part- ing with a dear friend of whose society I must long be deprived. Perhaps our next meeting will be at the bar of God. While separated from each other, wilt thou, O Lord, kindly watch over us, and richly supply all our needs. Suffer us not to love ourselves, nor each other, nor the world more than the Saviour. Dear Redeemer, captivate our affections, that we may love thee supremely, and help us to pursue thy glory as the dearest object of our hearts. Cleanse us from all ini- quity and make us thy devoted followers. " Oct. 30. This evening have attended the wedding of an intimate friend. She is a professed friend and follower of Christ. I felt particularly unhappy to see her united to one who pretends to no religion, and is, as we have reason to suppose, an enemy to God and his people. What fellowship halh hght with darkness, or what concord hath Christ with Belial ? '^ Nov. 11. Have been meditating upon these words, " Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temp- tations that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise, &nd honor, and glory, at the appearing of Christ Jesus." I can well remember a time when the thought of suffering for Je- sus was sweet. 1 thought it would be delightful to bear the cross after him, though all the world were in oppo- sition. Can it be that the present state of things is to MRS. MALLERY. 13 try the faith of God's children? While 1 am beset with such strong temptations without, and so much dark- ness reigns within, is there a need be that my faith should be tried ? Is it needful for me to pass through such scenes that 1 may learn more of my own charac- ter, and learn to love God more ardently ? O that trials and temptations may lead me to penitence and humble dependence upon God. " Feh. 7, 1822. The annual meeting of our Juve- nile Missionary Society, has been very interesting. Perhaps this is the last that 1 shall ever attend with my dear brethren and sisters, with whom I have taken so much delight. The happiness we have enjoyed to- gether, in serving God and his cause, may never be repeated in this world ; but if we are saints, we shall taste sweeter bliss in heaven, where there will be no sin to pain our hearts. ^^ April 21. Another birth-day reminds me that I am one year nearer to eternity. Nineteen years God has sustained me, and supplied me with all necessary -blessings. Great, indeed, has been his loving kind- ness towards me. But perhaps unthought-of trials are before me. The morning of life, the season of study and improvement, is fast passing away. Shall I, at this important season of life, become careless and in- different in relation to my duty ? While subjects of importance demand my serious and prayerful atten- tion, shall I suffer my mind to be engrossed with the cares and vanities of life ? How will these prepare my mind for what is before me — to bid adieu to my friends, and occupy a station where new duties will devolve upon me, and new trials will await me ? " Aug. 25. Expecting soon to leave Homer, I feel much less interested in what relates to the place, than formerly. Attachment to a beloved friend, in a dis- 2 14 MEMOIR OF tant land, disengages my affections from scenes once delightful, and renders the parting scene not only less painful, but in some respects desirable. Am I as wise in a spiritual sense ? Does the thought of shortly leav- ing this vain world disengage my affections from it ? Is my soul captivated by the Saviour's loveliness, so that 1 am waiting for his salvation ? " Sept. 7. This evening my heart was gladdened by the safe arrival of my dear friend, Mr. S. S. Mal- lery, recently ordained pastor of the Baptist Church in Hillsdale, in the east part of this state. May we gratefully adore the goodness of God that has preserv- ed us, when separated far from each other, and per- mitted us to meet again on earth. " Tuesday, Sept. 17. This evening, listened with pleasure to an interesting sermon from Rev. J. Blain, from Solomon's Song v. 16. " This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." At the close, Mr. M. and myself were united in matrimony, by Rev. A. Bennett. This is an important transaction to us both. It will increase our happiness, or misery, through life. O God ! thou only knowest what is for us in time. Above all other evils, wilt thou save us from dishonoring thy name by an unholy walk or an ungodly example. " Harrisouj Sept. 23. Am spending a few days in this place, in visiting some of Mr. M.'s relations. Yes- terday, heard him preach in the forenoon, from Matt, xvi. 14 ; and in the afternoon, heard Rev. E. D. Hubbel, of Egremont, Mass. a particular friend of Mr. M., from 1 John vi. 21. " Sept. 24. Spent this forenoon in a pleasant walk with sister Hubbel. How valuable is the society of christians. In my dear companion, and Br. and sister Hubbel, I find friends whose hearts are united to God, >IHS. MALLEUY. 15 and devoted to his service. " Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." " Homer, Oct. 5. After attending the Cayuga Asso- ciation, in Groton, and visiting some of my husband's relatives in Scipio, 1 have returned home, and have, for a few days past, been making farewell visits among my friends. The idea of soon leaving those friends, whose society has rendered the morning of life pleasant, and who have been to me as fathers and mothers, and brothers and sisters, in a spiritual relation, has occa- sioned many a heart- felt sigh, and many a falling tear. " Sunday, Oct. 6. in the forenoon, heard Mr. M., from Col. iii. 3, and in the afternoon, heard my dear pastor, from Exod. xxxiii. 15. " If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence." This has been a solemn, trying day. Does duty call me to leave this- beloved spot, no more to hear the joyous sound of the gospel from the mouth of our beloved pastor ? Must I never more listen to his fervent prayers, his kind in- structions, his melting expostulations, and faithful ad- monitions? Must I leave this happy choir of singers, no more to unite with them in the songs of Zion ? Must I leave my dear brethren and sisters, no more tO' meet them in conference, prayer, and covenant meet- ings ? Shall I no more sit down with them at the table of the Lord, where we have together mourned over our sins, rejoiced in the God of our salvation, and cov- enanted to spend our lives in his service? Merciful Father, is this the path, which thou, in thy providence hast marked out for me ? O may thy presence go with me, and though separated from friends, and privileges most dear to my heart, may I not be separated from thy love, nor thy service. '■^Monday, 7. To-morrow's setting sun will probably see me separated from all that is dear in Homer. Soon 16 MEMOIR OF 1 must bid farewell to my dear mother, uncle, aunt,, and sister — farewell to my much loved chamber, and other places of retirement, where my soul has been so often comforted I go from the bosom of my friends, to a land of strangers, not knowing the things that shall befal me there. I go from their protection, in- struction and restraints, which I have so long enjoyed^ and so greatly needed. O that, with a humble and contrite heart, 1 may, from this time, cry unto God^ " My Father, thou art the guide of my youth." " Saturday^ Oct. 12. On Tuesday morning we left Homer, and to-day were joyfully received by the pa- rents, brothers and sisters of my companion, in Aus- terlitz, (formerly a part of Hillsdale.) 1 still have rea- son to record the goodness of God. Have had some solemn reflections on the journey of life. Considering all mankind as travellers, could not but be affected in view of the deplorable state of sinners, who are pur- suing the broad road to destruction. Felt the impor- tance of so running the christian race, as to obtain eternal life." Before any more extracts are made from her diary, I wish to remark, that from this first interview with my father's family, to the close of her useful hfe, she was loved without the least interruption, by all the mem- bers, with increasing tenderness and strength of affec- tion. So much did she endear herself to my parents, brothers and sisters, by her unaffected kindness, gen- tleness, and piety, that her loss would not have been more severely felt, nor deeply lamented, had she been an own child, or an own sisler. " Nov. 17. To-day have had the pleasure of hearing an excellent sermon, from Matt. xi. 29. Often, in the course of the day, have my thoughts returned to Homer, to visit, in imagination, my dear brethren and MRS. MALLEiiY. 17 sisters, who arc probably enjoying a season of commun- ion at the Lord's table. This is the first time I have been deprived of the privilege of uniting with them, in commemorating a Saviour's death, since I became a member of the church. "iVbv. 18. Removed to Hillsdale, and commenced house-keeping. That we may glorify God in our fam- ily, in the church, and in the world, we shall need the wisdom of the serpent and the harmlessness of the dove. How important that we act as the children of light, both in temporal and spiritual things. There are two Baptist Churches in this town, denominated East and West. Mr. M. preaches half of the time in each. Qui residence is fixed in the bounds of the E. church. " Nov. 20. In a land of strangers, oppressed by my spiritual foes, and troubled with unbelief and sin, I sit down to write. O could I enjoy communion with God and his people ; then would 1 rejoice and count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord. To-day we have been favored with a visit from Rev. A. Bennett, my late pastor, who was returning from a journey to Connecticut. How painful has it been to part with a friend, whose society has been so valuable and dear — under the sound of whose voice my feelings have so often been excited, my hope confirmed, and my soul animated to run with patience the christian race. Perhaps I shall see him no more while life shall last. Our next meeting may be at the judgment seat of Christ, where I must account for the improvement I have made of his ministrations. " Nov. 23. Surely the Lord is God, and not man, therefore, I am not consumed, but five to enjoy the blessings of his providence and grace. Although I am so ungrateful and forgetful of God and his mercies, he i'S still the same kind God to me. He has conducted 2* ]8 MEMOIR OF me safely through dangers seen and unseen, and brought me to this distant land, where, far from friends and native home, I have reason to praise him for the comforts of life, valuable society, affectionate friends, and a contented mind. In all the trying scenes through which I have passed, my strength has been equal to my day. My sorrows have been fewer, and my com- forts more numerous than I have merited or could have expected. ^'Jan. 1, 1823. My life is spared to see the com- mencement of a new year. How different is my situ- ation on this new-year's day, from any that 1 have seen before. Surrounded by a different circle of friends, attached to different objects, exposed to different trials, and placed in a more responsible station, 1 feel that a ie^^ months have made a great change in my condition, and prospects. Although I have experienced a change in these and many other things, I find that I have the same sinful heart. Though now freed from some things that have formerly been hindrances to me, in my chris- tian course, 1 am not out of the reach of temptation. Alas ! how prone are my affections to centre in an ob- ject less worthy than the Saviour ! " Jan. 2. Heard Mr. M. preach this evening, from " Enter ye in at the straight gate, &c." What path have 1 been travelling the year past, and what way am 1 now resolved to pursue ? If life should be spared, am I willing that more of my precious moments should be spent in as much stupidity and sin as the past have been? Shall I do nothing for His glory, who has done so much for me ? Can I be willing to pass through this world of darkness and snares without the light of the Saviour's countenance to cheer my path, and guide my feet in the way of life ? It is not because I have in- surmountable obstacles to encounter, more than other :\li{.S. 3I^LLlJUV. 19 christians, that I am less conformed to Christ, but be- cause I am not sufficiently watchful and jjrayerful. Let me arm myself with the same mind that was in Christ, and [)ut on the whole armour of God, and then I shall be able to stand with my loins irirt -ibout with truth, and my lamp trimmed and burning. " Jan. 1 1 . United to-day with the E. Church by let- ter. May I be useful among the members, and feel as much at home here as in the church to which I former- ly belonged. " March 2. This morning, just after Mr. M. com- menced the services of public worship, we were most •delightfully surprised to see my dear uncle and aunt Keep, and my dear sister, make their appearance in the congregation. This was a very unexpected favor from the Lord. O how kind are all his dealings to- ward me, an undeserving worm of the dust. It is three years to-day since I publicly put on Christ before the world. The apostle says, "As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him?" But self-exami- nation and retrospection, show me that I have not walk- ed with Jesus as I ought. It is my desire, in future, to live a more self-denying life, and to exercise myselt more unto godliness. " June 5. Have just returned from an interesting ses- sion of the Shaftsbury Association, in Nassau. On our way home, visited the New Lebanon mineral Spring. It is situated on the slope of a high hill, and is surround- ed by scenery highly picturesque and beautiful. From this eminence we had a fine view of the village, with its white houses and handsome church, in the plain, at the foot of the hill. The proprietor of the spring and principal lodging-house, Mr. H., and his wife, are mem- bers of the Baptist Church, and appear to be intelligent and devoted christians. At this season of the year we see much to admire in the works of the great Creator. 20 MEMOIR OF Wherever we turn our eyes, the air, earth, and water^ teem with life. Every tree, shrub, herb, and every leaf is peopled with animated beings. If the number of microscopic animalculoe that inhabit the small pool of stagnant water, in a summer's day, is greater than that of the whole human race ; how inconceivably great must be the number of God's irrational creatures, in- cluding all that live in the water, all that walk or creep on the earth, and all that wing their flight in the atmos- phere which surrounds us. And why, I am ready to inquire, were such myriads and myriads of creatures brought into existence ? Probably many of them were formed for no other purpose than to display the wisdom, power, and goodness of God. And how wonderfully are these attributes displayed in sustaining the life of unnumbered beings, and in providing for all their daily food! For all his creatures wait upon him, and hegiv- eth them their meat in due season. " O Lord, how man- ifold are thy works ! in wisdom hast thou made them all ; the earth is full of thy riches." In thy works of nature, providence, and grace, thou teachest us some- thing of thy character, yet how faint must be our con- ceptions in our present imperfect state ! How little do we know of what it will be to enjoy thy blissful presence in a world without sin ! O may 1 love the Lord, for his benevolence, holiness, justice, and truth. May I behold and love supremely, the beauties of the Saviour's character. May I be conformed to his image. " August 12. Early this morning, sister Sheldon bade adieu to sufferings, groans and tears, to which she has so long been accustomed, and sweetly resigned her spirit into the hands of Him who gave it. Is she this morn- ing enjoying the presence of her dear Saviour, deliver- ed from a body of weakness and pain, and from all the defilement of sin ? How much happier is she than if she were on earth, enjoying all the comforts of this life ! MRS. MALLEliY. 21 O how mucli sweeter are the joys she now participates, in the society of heaven, than any she could possess in the society of her worthy companion and only child! To be with Jesus is far better than to possess the sum total of all earthly joys. By this instance of mortality which has occurred in a part of the same house which we occupy, may I be led to think more seriously on the things of eternity. May it make a lasting and salutary impression on my mind. ^^ August 30. How great a blessing is the Christian Sabl)ath, on which we may rest from worldly care and labor, and attend on the word and worship of God. Should my life be spared for many years to come, it is probable I shall never see a better time to possess and exemplify religion than the present. Old age, a sick bed, or a dying hour, affords not so favorable an oppor- tunity to the Christian, to show his love to God by his works, as the season of youth and health, when he is engaged in the business of the world, and surrounded by the impenitent, who need to be enlightened and saved by the instrumentality of those who are lights in the world and the salt of the earth. O that I may, in this important season of life, feel more deeply interested in the cause of Christ." Many of her letters were written to relatives and friends at such a distance, they could not easily be ob- tained for insertion in this volume. Those that have been put into my hands, contain much that renders them interesting to her intimate friends; but they contain so many references to events, in which none but intimate friends would feel particularly interested, that only brief extracts from a few of them will be introdaced. "fliLLSDALi:, Oct. 14, 1823. My dear Mother^ — 1 am suspicious by your writing, that you still feel too much anxiety respecting the hap- 22 MEMOIR OF piness of your unworthy daughter. If this is the case, 1 would most cheerfully prevent or diminish it. 1 do not wish you to forget me. Painful indeed would be the thought, that my beloved mother did not think of me and pray for me. I wish you to think of us as safe, because we are in the hands of the Lord, and un- der the care and protection of our Heavenly Father. He is very merciful to his creatures, and does not wil- lingly afflict or grieve the children of men. May we, if mercies are bestowed upon us, remember from whom we receive them ; or if afflictions be our portion, may we feel as willing to receive evil at the hand of the Lord, as to receive good. 1 often contrast my situa- tion with that of many others, who are more deserving of favors than myself, and feel that I have great cause of gratitude to Him who maketh me to differ from them. 1 enjoy health and good society, can attend public wor- ship every Sabbath, and often on other days. I have a pleasant, comfortable home, which is furnished with every necessary article of food, clothing and conven- ience ; and a companion, who is worthy of my esteem and affection. As yet I have experienced little of those dreadful evils which some imagine must be the portion of a Baptist Minister's wife. I enjoy more happiness than 1 contemplated, and know no person with whom 1 should be willing to exchange situations. Perhaps you will think I am desirous to convince you that I am perfectly happy: — 1 do not expect perfect happiness in this world. Probably every heart knows its own bitterness. True, I have trials to which some are strangers, and others have those of which I am ignorant. The wisdom of God does not cause all the ills of life to be experienced by one of his creatures, and others to feel none of them. I am sensible that 1 have great reason to be grateful for the many mercies that 1 receive. The lateness of the hour prevents me MRS. MALLERY. 23 from writing all that I wish on this subject. Much love to my dear uncle, aunt and sister. Your allectionate daughter, J. D. Mallery. " Dec. 26. How mistaken am I, if for a moment I imagine that 1 have so many cares and domestic duties that I cannot enjoy religion. So far from this, it is the only source of consolation in the midst of responsibili- ties and trials. The smiles of the Saviour's lovely countenance, render the pleasures of hfe more dehght- fal, and its pains and sorrows more supportable. " Ja/i. 1, 1824. The goodness of God toward me is manifested in not cutting me down as a barren tree. My life and many of its blessings are still continued to me ; but my situation may not always be thus favored. To privations, hardships, trials, pain and death, I am as liable, and of them as deserving, as any of God's creatures. Should Providence smile and give me all the blessings of the present life, they would be of short continuance, and could never make me happy without God for my portion. Soon, and perhaps sooner than I anticipate, 1 may be called to leave the world, with all its vanities and sorrows, its enjoyments and posses- sions ; or from me may be taken away by death, my dearest friends and comforts, and I, a solitary mourner, may be left with none but God to comfort me. If I know the vanity and frailty of everything but the eter- nal God, and the blessedness of trusting in him, why should 1 feel anxious about worldly things, only that I may please God in the use of them? "jPe&. 14. Have just returned from Church meet- ing. These are precious opportunities to my soul. Nothing is more interesting to me than to meet with the dear people of God for prayer and praise. It is 24 MEMOIR 01 four years now since my heart was filled with the love of God, and my eyes opened to behold the loveliness of the blessed Saviour. ,0 how was my soul melted into tenderness, to think that Jesus could pardon such a wretch as 1 had ever boen. How was 1 astonished, that his grace and loving-kindness should extend their influence so far as to conquer my will, which was op- posed to his reign, and give me a disposition to seek his mercy, and that even then he did not cast me off forever. Experience teaches me more and more of the deep depravity of my heart, and the infinitude of God's mercies. His perfections are a deep in which all my thoughts are drowned. His faithfulness to fulfil his promises, and his willingness to give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him, encourage me to seek his- face, notwithstanding all my unworthiness. ^^ Feb. 15. To what happiness are the saints ap- proaching! When this poor transient life is past, they will dwell forever with Him whom their soul loveth. 