Letters to a very young lady
Alexander, James W. (James Waddel), 1804-1859
^>~> +*3> '■ :> > - > ^ CHARLES B. ALEXANDER. 3 ^ 5^> ^^ ^* \Z^^> ->.3 >\ Z> 3 o ^>> ^ >^s> ^>i>~ > >VT> ^?^ ^^; pS^^i^g ^tr^ '^— '-^ 8jH|5 iSSIj^S ^?^?-" ~~ -=~k-^ - 1> -^^:> *-^iP 3i£ ->--* ^-^~^z >=X2» ^* ^^^^ ^^^ S^^ ^sS» . ~^T ^s^^ ^~ fc'i a ► !>: Bfe—. 3* T^> ^ .-> ^1 ^i»J> : P- i3 3* » ^> ^ gpr^ g< » ^ ^&S ' ^-—^^3^^ e> ^ _ "37 ^n^ -->J* "-"~^r Ss,=efc. ~~^"~ ""^^~ ~v 23 -J^ -3._^P _> -> > »> -5r22>^0* >: 7 ; 7 LETTERS w .r TO A VERY- MAR 10 1- %2L0 S/CAi. YOUNG LADY. Or. V\/ VSVT1EN FOR THE AMERICAN SUNDAY-SCHOOL UNION, AVC BEVISET By THE COMMITTEE OF PUBLICATION. &$m PHILADELPHIA: AMERICAN SUNDAY-SCHOOL UNION, 1122 Chestnut Street. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1843, l>y Herman Cope, Treasurer, in trust for the American Sun- day-school Union, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court c.f the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. STEREOTYPED BY U JOHNSON. PHILADELPHIA. PREFACE. The writer of the following pages has endeavoured to make a book which should be both entertaining and useful to the young. It has been his aim to adapt his language to the wants of child- ren, without becoming childish. For this reason there has been little attempt to come down to the style of the nursery; in the belief that, if children do not under- stand sound English, it is time they should learn it. If every hard word is avoided, none but easy words can ever be learned. The subject and manner, in some let- ters, are purposely higher than in others ; for it is impossible to suit all capacities. 3 4 PREFACE. It is hoped that none will find any diffi culty which it will not be profitable to overcome. The religious instructions contained in many parts of the book are earnestly commended to the youthful reader, with a hearty prayer that they may lead some of Christ's lambs into the way of life. CONTENTS. Letter Page I. Introductory - 7 II. Play 11 III. The Book-case - - ■ - 16 IV. Filial Duty .... 21 V. Farly Rising - -26 VI. Prayer 30 VII. Family Worship* - - - - 34 VIII. Behaviour at Table ... 39 IX. School ------ 44 X. Companions 50 XI. Reading 56 XII. Dress 65 XIII. Care of Room - - - - 71 XIV. Household Work 77 XV. Needlework 83 XVI. Accomplishments 89 XVII. Music 94 XVIII. Brothers and Sisters - - - 100 XIX Temper 105 XX. Behaviour to Servants - - 110 XXl. Acts of Charity - - - - 115 XX'il. Money 120 1* 5 6 CONTENTS. Letter Paga XXIII. Visits 126 XXIV.  145 XX VIII. Conversation - - 150 XXIX. Truth 156 XXX. The Sunday-school - - 161 XXXI. Behaviour in Church - - 167  Parents 194 X XXVI. Fashionable#Amusements - 199 XXXVII. Thoughts for the Future - - 207 *XXVIII Usefulness - 215 XXXIX. Entertainment out of Doors - 223 XL. Home 231 XLI. Humility and Meekress - - 239 XLII. CDnc usion - 247 LETTERS TO A* VE11T YOUNG LADY. LETTER FIRST. INTRODUCTORY. My dear Mary, — You have now arrived at an age when you are fully able to understand the advice of your friends, on the most important sub- jects. You write letters to your lit- tle acquaintances, and receive their answers. This is a great source of entertainment to young ladies of your age, and at the same time it may be made very improving. I do not say that it often is so ; for the things which fill such notes and billets are sometimes very childish. But the correspondence need not be childish, 8 LETTERS TO A even when it is childlike ; for there is a difference between these words. * which I will leave you to find out. Since you are so fond of letters, 1 do not see any reason, my dear, wh) you should not have a new cor- respondent. I think I hear you say, Who can it be ? Where is this new correspondent to come from ? I will tell you. It shall be none of your school-mates, nor any one of your relations. But it shall be a friend who loves you and enjoys your com- pany. True he has lived many years longer than you, and has gray hairs and a good many wrinkles. But notwithstanding this, he is not so old, nor so cross, nor so sour, that he can- not love the sweet wrays of pleasant children. Ah ! you have guessed it ! It is I myself, who am going to be your correspondent; and I mean to write you a long string of letters ; that is, what we call a series. And all I have to ask is, that you wrould care- VERY YOUNG LADY. 9 fulb read them ; and when you have done tnis, that you would put thern away safely, for future use. Because there may be some things which you will understand and enjoy better a few years hence, if your life be spared, than you do now. Do not think, my dear child, be- cause I am so much older than you, and because I am a minister of the gospel, and because I have a grave and serious face, that I shall al- ways write to you in a way to make you sad. There are some things which I must say, that may indeed sadden you, for your good ; but I hope to write some things, also, which shall not only instruct, but entertain and amuse you. I believe, I may say without vanity, that I have in my treasury many pleasant things for a young lady of your age. Some of these will be from my travels, some from my daily walks, some from my books, and some from the Book of 10 LETTERS TO A Books, the Inspired Volume, which is the message of God our Creator and Saviour. This is enough for an introduction My letters will be numerous, but they will not be long. Sometimes, I hope, you will try your pen in the way of reply. And let me assure you, my dear Mary, in spite cf my wrinkles and gray hairs, I sha' • prize your little communication* very much. VERY YOUNG LADY. 11 LETTER SECOND. PLAY. M r dear Mary, — To be fond of play is so natural at your age, that no one would ever think of finding fault with it. Providence has made it natural to all young creatures to sport and gambol. You see this in the lamb, the kid, the kitten, and the domestic fowls. It is wisely and mercifully arranged, to ensure that exercise which is necessary for the growth of the body, and the opening and strengthening of the limbs. Be- sides, much that we call play is really learning. There are many things which we need to know, that are taught in no schools, except the school of play. But then, you know, t is not right to be always at play, any more than it is right to be always 12 LETTERS TO A at school. Every thing is beautiful in its season. The sparrow that sings so sweetly near our window, must sometimes be busy about her nest. Very little children do scarce- ly any thing but play. Very old men and women do not play at all. And while little people are growing up, the older they become, the less play they need. So that though I will allow you to spend a good deal of your time in amusing yourself, you must always remember, that it is not your main business, and that you must willingly leave play for work, or books. Perhaps you are ready to ask me, wdiat are the best plays for a little girl ? I answer, play is play, and that is best which you like best, provided it is innocent, healthful and mode- rate. It would be very unwise in me to set you a task of play. You would soon grow weary of your doll, your tea-things, your graces, or your VERY YOUXG LADY. 13 cup-and-ball, if you were commanded to play with them an hour every day. Be sure, my dear child, to have no amusements which are unknown to your dear parents, or which are not pleasing to them. No play ought to seem right to you which seems wrong to them. Plays in the open air are the best of all. Exercise, out of doors, is good for the health. Look at those children who are kept very much within the house. How pale they are ! If you feel their arms, you wit find them soft and weak. Little girls who go to school, and sit there several hours over their books, need, in a special manner, the open air, to give a colour to their cheeks, and to prepare them for after life. When the weather is very bad, your parents will direct you to stay with- in ; but if they are wise, they will not allow you to be too much afraid of a little sunshine or rain, or even 2 14 LETTERS TO A of a gentle snow You are to live in a rough world, and it will not do for you to become too tender. Your young acquaintances will be much better advisers than I, as to what sports and games you shall play at. There is no danger that you will not have enough. Avoid those which are. boisterous and romping, and those which give pain to your companions, or to any living creature. Be gentle, modest, and fair, even when in sport. Keep far away from all plays, in which you have to speak any thing untrue, even in jest. If your sports can be made of any use, or fit you for any duty, so much the better. I do not care how full of gayety and ioy you are, while you are at your play. It is well to do what we do with all our heart. But never play when you ought to be studying or working. Say to yourself: When I work, I work, and when I play, I play. Especially, io not pia}' in VERY YOUNG LADY. 15 school, unless by express permission: and remember the Sabbath-day to keep it holy. Now, my dear, lest all this lecture about play should turn out to be hard work, I will weary you no longer. You may go out to your tu lips and roses, or to your skipping rope, or to your swing, or to ride on your pony, or to run along the river's bank, or to arrange your tea-table So I bid you good evening. 16 LETTERS TO A LETTER THIRD. THE BOOK-CASE. My dear Mary, — I have been thinking of giving you a little ad- vice about your book-case "My book-case !" you are ready to cry out — " why, sir, I have no book- case." Then, my dear, it is time you had one. " O," you will say, " you have book-cases, and my fa- ther has a book-case, and lawyers and scholars have book-cases ; but what should I, a little girl not yet in my teens, do with one ? I will an- swer you, Mary. As soon as you have books of your own, you should have a place to keep them b)^ them- selves. If you have two or three only, a shelf will do in your mother's chamber, or in the nursery, or in vour own room. If you rave 3 VERY ItOUNG LADY. 17 dozen or more, as most girls of your age have, who are careful of what has been given them, you will need several shelves, and these put to- gether make a book-case. The car- penter will make you a plain one for a few shillings ; or, if your parents can afford it, and will buy you one of a more elegant sort, the money will not be thrown away. But whether you have a book-case or not, you cannot begin too early to keep every thing that belongs to you in good order. A place for every thing, and every thing in its place. When you have been reading a book and are suddenly called away, do not leave it on a chair, or in the window-seat, or on the door-steps, or the bench in the arbour. Do not lay it open on the breakfast-table or work-stand, with the clean leaves spread out to be soiled. Return it carefully to the shelf, and to its ex- act place ; not upside down, nor 18 LETTERS TO A with the back inwards, but just as you wo ild wish to find it. In work, or study, or play, the rule is a good one for all people : Leave things as you would find them. By no means use your book for any purpose but to read in it. For this it was made : and to do otherwise is to abuse it. When I call upon the young ladies of my flock, I see many signs of abused books. Some of them wet their finger or thumb to turn over the leaf, a slovenly habit which no neat person will indulge in. It soils the page, and makes what you call dog's-ears. I have turned over many thousands of leaves in my day, but I never found this expedient necessary. Some persons think a book a very safe and good place for keeping flowers, cut- paper, patterns of silk and ribands, and delicate bits of lace ; and so it is, if the book is never to be read. But the sight of these things between VERY YOUNG LADY. 19 the leaves is a fair sign that the owner is not a great reader. Some young ladies use a book to raise them at the piano-forte, or they set a flower-'pot upon it, or they take it to support the sash of a window, when the weight is out of order. Pray avoid all these tricks. They are most common where people are vul- gar and ignorant. A book is made to be read ; use it aright and it will be a treasure. After a little while it will be no trouble to you to put your book away, whenever you have done reading in it. It is a good way to put a neat paper-cover on such books as you have to use very often. It is not a good way to turn down a leaf in or- der to mark the place, or to stick a pin into the paper ; you had better lose your place than do either of these things. Never allow yourself to write any thing in a book except your name, 20 LETTERS TO A and write that but once. You will of course be ashamed to draw pic- tures on the pages, or to tear out the blank leaves at the beginning or end. It is the slattern only who falls intc such practices ; and I should judge of the neatness of a young lady very much by the care she takes of her books. This will be enough about the outside of books. I may say some- thing about the inside hereafter. VERY YOUNG LADY. 21 LETTER FOURTH. FILIAL DUTY. My dear Mary, — Your kind pa rents are still living It is an un- speakable blessing, for which you cannot be thankful enough to Al- mighty God. Think of the thou- sands of poor orphans in the world, and pray to be kept from forgetting the debt of gratitude that you owe. When you see the care of your beloved mother for your little sister or brother, who is still in infancy, you should daily remember that the same care was once bestowed on you. You cannot remember it, but it is fresh in the rrinds of your pa- rents; and if you were to live a hundred years with them, you never could repay them. O how they watched by your bed-side when 22 LETTERS TO A you were sick ! How they trembled when they thought you would die ! Can you love them enough for this ? How are you going to repay them. Mary ? With money ? O, no ! ail the gold of all the mines in the world would not repay them. They do not ask gold and silver, and you have not got any, if they did. What then are you to pay them with ? What ought you to give them ? I will tell you, in a single word, Ho- nour : this is what you are to render, and this is what God commands. Honour thy Father and thy Mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. This is the fifth commandment,- but it is the first commandment with promise* It is the child's great commandment, and the one which; should be always in your mind and* heart. It promises long life and * Eph. vi. 2, 3. VERY YOUNG LADY. 23 prosperity as far as these are for God's glory and your good. Re- member it, then, and honour those beloved friends, who love you more than it is possible for you now to understand. If other persons are placed over vou in a situation like that of your father and mother, they have like authority. You must honour them also. I mean your guardians, your teachers, and all who take the place of parents to you. Bless God for giving you kind and able parents, and ask yourself every day, what you can do to make them happy. Watch their very looks, and do not wait for their com- mand, but hasten to obey before they have given you their orders. It will be too late to think of this when their precious heads are laid cinder the earth. Then, my dear Mary, (if you should be living,) you will think of a thousand things: 24 LETTERS TO A which you might have dene for their comfort; but it will be toe late. Never differ with )rour mother a single moment, about what you ought to do. She knows better than you. If you think otherwise, you are a foolish, as well as a wicked child. It is impossible for you to please God, unless you please your parents in every thing lawful which they command you. Obey from the heart cheerfully, quickly and affectionately. Do not be like the eye-servant, who works only while the master is looking at him. Attend to your parents' wishes as much in their absence as in their presence. It is ungrateful, it is offensive to God, for any child to do otherwise. To say that a little girl is disobe- dient to her parents is one of the worst things it is possible to say about her. There are such girls in VERY YOUNG LADY. 25 the world. I have met with them. I have heard them speak as pertly to their mothers as they would to a servant ; and I have been disgusted and shocked, and have trembled for them. Such a young lady shall never be, with my leave, the com- panion of my children. She is hateful to God and holy angels, and unless she repent and turn, will no doubt fall under heavy judgments. I hope better things of you, my child. You cannot repeat too often the words of Scripture : Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour thy father and mother, which is the first com- mandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou may est live long on the earth. Ephes. vi. 1, 2, 3. 9 26 LETTERS TO A LETTER FIFTH. EARLY RISING. My dear Mary, — It is now the beautiful summer-season, when our kind Creator has given us the great- est delights of nature. It is the time of flowers, and fruits, and birds, and beautiful prospects. But to enjoy these fully, you must rise betimes. Young persons sometimes get into a very bad habit of lying in bed for some hours after the sun is up. They are asleep when creation is showing its wonderful beauties. They lose many pleasures which they might enjoy for nothing; and they are forming a habit which is likely to remain with them as long as they live. Make one fair trial of early rising, and you w 11 be persuaded that 1 VEB ¥ YOUNG LADY. 27 am right. Go out with me just be- fore sunrise. The moment you go abroad, what a freshness and fra- grance breathes from the country around ! What a concert of gay birds in the wood ! What brilliant colours in the various flowers ! Now tell me, is not this far better than to be lving, stupidly asleep, in a warm bed? Early rising is good for the health. Most old people will tell you that they have been early risers. . If you wish to have an appetite for your breakfast, go out in season and brush away the early dew. A little exer- cise in these morning hours is better than a great deal at a later hour in the day. Those who lie long in bed are apt to neglect their dress. As they rise but . a little before the family come together, they have to dress in a hurry ; and so they fall into care- less, slovenly wavs. What is still 28 LETTERS TO A worse, they often neglect their les* sons. In the evening, when tired with play, they put off their tasks till morning; and when the morn- ing comes they sleep so long that they have just time to hurry down to breakfast. And what is worst of all, they are almost sure to neglect their devotions. v They have no time to read their Bible, as every one ought to do every morning ; and if they pray, it is in a hasty, careless manner, which is unprofitable to them, and displeasing to God. So you see there are serious evils grow- ing out of late rising. It is a false kindness in your friends to let you sleep too long in the morning, and when you grow older you will not thank them for it. It would be a real favour if they were to force you to arise at an early hour, day after diy, until the habit, was fully formed and fixed for life. Begin at once. Every thing must VERY YOUNG LADY. 29 have a beginning. It will be a little hard at first, but it will be less and less so every day. Spring out of bed the moment you open your eyes. Never lie an instant after you awake and find it day. This will soon make it necessary for you to retire early, and you will not wake too early more than once or twice. I hope to find you among the early birds, and to see by your cheeks and your activity, that my rules have done vou good. 3* 30 LETTERS TO A LETTER SIXTH. PRAYER. My dear Map/, — There is an age at which every child, whose pa- rents respect religion, is accustomed to pray to God. A.11 little hoys and girls are taught to do so, unless they have been brought up in a very heathenish manner. You can re member the time when your dear mother used to make you kneel down by her, and repeat the simple petitions which she taught you. I hope you will never forget those infant devotions. While your little hands were clasped in prayer, no doubt the heart of your tender pa- rent accompanied your supplications with her own. But children often cease to pray. Alas ! that it should be so . They become ashamed of prayer. They VERY YOUNG LADY. 31 would feel badly, if they thought any one knew they had gone into their closet to pray. How dreadful, that as we grow older we should grow worse ! What a sign of the cor- ruption of our nature ! I trust it is not so yet with my dear young friend; I trust she never fails to pray to God, and that she loves to do so. It is not enough, my dear, to go by yourself and say over a prayer, how- ever excellent the prayer may be. God looks at the heart. Praying is asking. When you do not ask, you do not pray. If you do not desire what you ask, you do not pray aright. Such prayers are mockery of God, like those of the Pharisees, which our Lord Jesus Christ con- demned. Take care not to offer such prayers. The very best hour of the day should be given to prayer ; that is, with most people, the early morning hour Then, when all nature is 32 LETTERS TO A sweet and inviting, when the air is fresh, when birds are singing, when you are refreshed by a night's rest, and before the cares of the day have come upon you, go and pour out your heart before God. It is the best way of beginning the day. Whatever you do afterwards, you will be likely to do better if you have prayed for God's blessing. Let me beg you not to neglect this precious privilege as you grow older. No matter where you may be, or in what company, remember your duty to God. I hope you will never be thrown into the neighbour- hood of those who are wicked enough to laugh at you for offering your prayers to God. But even if this should be the case, no matter. It is better to please God than to please men. They laughed at prophets, and apostles, and martyrs, yes, and at Jesus Christ himself. Do not hurry c ver y i>ur prayers VERY YOUNG LADY. 33 as if fou longed to get through them. Remember, prayer is speak- ing to God. Think of what you say while you pray, or else your prayers will be a mere chattering, senseless noise, which a parrot might make as well as you. If you have a room or closet where you can be entirely alone, go there to pray. You know our Sa- viour's direction, Matt. vi. 6. In summer-time you may go to an ar- bour, a garden, or a grove. If no such place is convenient, do not think you are excused from praying. Kneel down in the most retired part of the house you can find, and there converse with your Father who is in heaven. Do the same thing at night, and never think of going prayerless to bed. The beasts do so ; but the hea- then do not so ; nor do the Moham- medans. Let not a young Christian be worse than Turks ard heathens, 34 LECTERS TO A LETTER SEVENTH. FAMILY WORSHIP. My dear Mary, — There are some families which never come together to worship God. They rise in the morning and go to bed at night just like the brutes that perish, without one word of prayer, or one word of praise. If they have the precious Bible in their houses, they never read it aloud. I say there are such families in the world ; but you, my dear, have not been among them. It has been your lot to be born of pious parents. As far back as you can remember, you have met every morning ard every evening for the worship of God. In this way you have heard the Scriptures read over a number of times. This is a favour for which you will have VERY YOUNG LADY. 35 reason to thank God as lon% as yon live. All your books and all your schools are as nothing when com pared with this family-school, thia school of God, where a whole house- hold gather daily at the feet of Christ, and learn of Him. You ought to think very highly of family worship. You ought ne- ver to be absent from it. To lie in bed, or to be only half-dressed, when the signal is given for prayer, is a sin and a shame. Be up in time, so as to be fully ready to come in promptly and take your place, with your book m your hand. Remember that you are in the presence of God. You have come to hear his holy word, and to pray to him. Be sober. Let no light thoughts come into your mind ; or, if they come in, dismiss them. Do not look about at the other children; do not smile nor laugh. Attend seriously to what is going on. Mind 36 LETTERS TO \ what is read out of the word of God. It is a dreadful habit \vhicb some people get into, of* hearing the Scriptures read without knowing what they have heard. If the family sing at their daily worship, I hope you will sing too. It is a delightful exercise ; and it is a good way of learning to sing. I hope my Mary wTill never be one of those young ladies who can sing at play, sing at the piano-forte, sing everywhere but in the worship of God. There is nothing you can do with your voice better than to praise God with it. Especially be on your guard when you kneel in prayer. It is a solemn moment ; but it is one wThich care- less children profane very much. You are now going to converse with God. Be in earnest. Let not youi eyes wander; and, if possible, le1 not your thoughts wander. Every word of the prayer is spoken to God. VERY YOUNG LADY. 37 and spoken to God for you ; there- fore lose no word. Proper attention to family worship is as likely to end in your conversion, as any means of grace you can use. In the evening you will no doubt be more weary and drowsy than in the morning. But you must try to keep awake. These things depend very much on habit; and habit may be formed by strong resolution. Make up your mind not to fall asleep during any religious service. Never think the worship of God a hardship. Never allow yourself to feel as if family worship were an unwelcome interruption. Go quick [y to the place of prayer. Go joy fully. Go as you would go to meet your dearest friend. Go as if you loved it. Learn to love it. Lay down your plaything or your book with cheerful expectation. To praise or pray is better than play and plavthings. 4 38 LETTERS TO A Now, my dear young friend, if you find that you have done wrong in any of these things, do so no more. Humbly pray to God, for Christ's sake, to forgive this sin ; and beg him for his grace, to make you better. VERY YOUNG LADY. 39 LETTER EIGHTH. BEHAVIOUR AT TABLE. My dear Mary, — The dog and the cat do not take regular meals. The beasts of the field devour what they can get, wherever they find it. The birds eat a hundred times a day. Savages are said to take their food a good deal in the same way, sitting, standing, lying, or running. Sometimes they go a whole day without food, and sometimes they swallow as much as would last us several days. But civilized people eat at particular times, and here, in America, we commonly do so three times in the day. It is not merely for the sake of eating and drinking that we meet at the table. It is to see one another, and to help one another, and to enjoy 40 LETTERS TO A one another's company. We meet as friends, as relations and as rea sonable beings. Every thing at our meals should be quiet, and pleasant, and cheerful. When a little infant is first brought to the table, its behaviour is very odd. It feels strangely and awkwardly. It does not know how to handle a knife and fork, to use a spoon, to feed it- self, or to keep itself clean. It is sometimes noisy and unruly, and as soon as it has done eating, it is impa- tient to be gone. You have ob- served this in your little brothers and sisters. Now wThat I mean to say is this ; that the conduct which is pardon- able in a baby, would be very offen- sive in a young lady. Yet I have seen girls who behaved as ill at table as the most ignorant child : yet they were called young ladies. I have known them to spill their tea and coffee, scatter their food about, \ERY YOUNG LADY 41 stuff their mouths with food, and snatch what was upon the dishes I have heard them cry and scream so as to disturb all around them; and I have seen them eat greedily,' and then rush from the table before the rest of the company were done. Forgive me for mentioning these rude ways. I am persuaded you would be ashamed to be charged with any of them. And I do not give you the advice which follows because I think you need every word of it, but because you may follow bad examples so as to require some of it. Always appear neat and fully dressed at the table. Be there at the moment. Take your own place, and occupy as little room as possible! Show a devout attention when the blessing of God is asked, as it is by all faithful heads of families. Wait till you are helped, and do not ask for any thing which is not at the table. 4* 42 LETTERS TO A Speak kindly to those who wait upon you ; and give as little trouble as possible. By all means avoid all haste in taking your food: it looks like greedi- ness, and is a mark of ill-breeding. Take notice of those who are most refined in their manners, and do as they do, avoiding all airs and affecta- tion. Always remember that you are a young lady, and avoid every thing bold and boisterous. Speak when you are spoken to ; but as a general rule, . be silent at table. When you have ended your meal, do not jump up with your mouth full, but sit quietly till all the rest arise. Or, if it is necessary foi vou to retire for the sake of study or work, ask leave to do so. When you go abroad to visit your friends, they will judge of you very much by your behaviour at the table ; and if they find you rude and ill-mannered, they will think iY. VERY YOUNG LADY. 43 of your parents. Indeed, children should remember that all who see them behaving themselves amiss, will think worse of their parents on this account. For the sake, then, of those whom you love so much, let your whole conduct be proper and respectful. Let me say one word more about your meals. As you so often pray, Give us this day our daily bread, you should think of this prayer when your daily bread is given you; that is, when you sit down at table. You should think who it is that feeds you, and be thankful. And vou should remember the needy who are perishing by thousands, while you have enough and to spare 44 LETTERS TO A. LETTER NINTH. SCHOOL. My dear Mary, — When it is time for school, be sure to be ready. Think of it a little beforehand, so as not to be hurried. Let your person be neat and tidy in the highest degree, but without finery. If the season requires it, have your thick shoes and umbrella, or your parasol and fan in readiness. Let there be no searching for books and papers at the last moment. Go direct to school, and be so punctual that every one who knows you may say, " There is Mary, who is never too late " Pious teachers open their school with prayer and the reading of the Holy Scriptures. Be serious and devout during these exercises. Let VERY YOUNG LADY. 45 ao smile, or light look, or whisper, sa> that you treat the worship of God with disrespect. Salute your teachers and school- mates with respect and cheerfulness, and take your ^lace silently. Get to work immediately. As long as you live, make it a rule to give your whole mind to what you are about. You go to school in order to learn not to talk or play ; therefore never talk or play there, except at times when you are permitted to do so. If you love learning, you will get learning. In our country, girls are sent to school only a few years ; therefore make the most of your time. Study hard, my dear child, and it will be a treasure to you as long as you live. Do not go by the example of those around you. In most cases this will be wrong. Do what you know to be right, what your teachers direct, and what will please \ our parents. Study for the 46 LETTERS TO A sake of getting knowledge, rather £han for any medals, tickets, prizes, holidays, or other rewards. Next to virtue and religion, knowledge is the best thing. It requires labour, but it is worth labouring for. Your dear parents may lose all their pro- perty, and you may become poor; but this will not rob you of your, learning. All the men on earth cannot rob you of it. Think of this every time you go to school, every time you open a book. Let your teachers see that it is a delight to you to please them. No- thing makes a teacher happier than to see scholars dutiful. Never, even for a moment, join in any plans to vex your instructers. It is foolish, it is unbecoming to your sex, and it is wicked. Treat your companions with kind- ness and civility. Take care to fall into no rough, boyish ways of talk- ing and acting with them. If you VERY YOUNG LADY. 47 do, you will be in danger of becom- ing that hateful thing, a hoyden. Rude salutations, pinches, nick- names, and horse-play may win a laugh, but they are not lady-like; and wise and well-bred persons are disgusted with them. They are the things which sometimes make board- ing-schools highly offensive. I am sure you will despise them. Try to perform every duty per- fectly. Do your best. If it is read- ing, read as well as you think pos- sible. If it is writing, let it be neat, careful, and without a blot. If it is repeating from memory, never miss a word. If it is arithmetic, give all your thoughts to it closely, and be sure you are right. Do nothing hastily or carelessly. It is better to work well than to work fast. You Know how it is in work. You may knit so fast as to drop your stitches ; you may sew so fast that you must 48 LETTERS TO A rip it all out. What is well done, is twice done. When the school is dismissed, go straight home, unless otherwise di- rected by your parents or teachers. If you have tasks, do not put them off' too long. Doing so leads to the hurry and carelessness which injure so many minds, and make half- learned people for life. Get your lessons off your mind, and then you will go to your amusements with a light and merry heart. Playing while a lesson is unlearned, is playing with a yoke on. Get rid of the yoke, and you will be as gay as a bird. It is a good thing for children to talk freely with their parents about school affairs; — not to complain of your teachers, nor to find fault with your studies, nor to tell tales of your companions ; all these things are hateful : but it is useful to talk over your studies, to show your VEfcf YOUNG IA.DY. 49 father and your mother what you have learned, and to ask their advice. Last of all, do all that I have recommended as your duty to God, out of love to Him, and to make yourself useful in his work, if He spares you to grow up. Do this, and you will find a blessing m your school. 50 LETTERS TO A LETTER TENTH. COMPANIONS. My dear Mary, — There is a Spanish proverb which says, Tell me your company, and I will tell you who you are. Any person may be known by the company he keeps. It is as true of a young lady as of any one. Perhaps' you have read a little story or fable of ^Esop, en- titled " The Farmer and the Stork." The farmer spread a net in his wheat-field to catch the cranes and geese which ate the grain he had been sowing. One day he came to his net, and found in it several cranes and geese, and among them a stork. As the farmer was about to kill them all, the stork pleaded \rery hard, and said he was neither a crane nor a goose, and that he was VERY YOUNG LADY. 51 kind and dutiful to his parents. All this may be true, said the farmer but I judge of you by your company, and you must suffer as they do. The world judges in the same way. If you are seen with evil persons, you will be thought an evil person. Besides this, you will grow to be like your company. If your companions are foolish or wicked, they will soon make you foolish and w7icked too. Evil communications corrupt good manners ; this is wmat the Bible says, and every day we see it to be true. Be very careful in choosing your companions. Perhaps those whom you like exceedingly at first, will turn out to be very disagreeable after a while. Very gay and enter- taining boys and girls are sometimes both ignorant and wicked. What a dreadful thing it w7ould be for you to fall into the company of such ! In order to avoid this, be slew in 52 LETTERS TO A forming attach merits. Do not be in haste to make friends. Never be intimate with any person until you have talked with your parents about it. Remember, they know far bet- ter than you what is right and pro- per. They know of dangers that are altogether unknown to you. It ought to be quite enough to make you break off any intimacy, to know that it is disagreeable to your parents. And let me say, every young lady should make this a rule for life. It would prevent many evils which you cannot now comprehend. When you have gained a real friend, you have gained a treasure. Stick to your friend. Think of the Persian song that Henry Martyn heard his muleteer sing at night. Often have I repeated it to myself during the last twenty years. " O, then, forsake thy friend for naught That evil tongues may say; The heart that fixeth where it ought. No power :an rend awa\." VERY YOUNG LADY. 53 But then be sure your heart fixes " where it ought. ' ' Those who make friendships too quickly, are apt to break them too quickly. Be con- stant, be faithful, and you will be beloved. 