Forget Partying Till the Wee Hours. Newlyweds Want to End Early.
Last call by 9 p.m. or sooner is becoming the new normal for some weddings.
Supported byField NotesForget Partying Till the Wee Hours. Newlyweds Want to End Early.Last call by 9 p.m. or sooner is becoming the new normal for some weddings.ByPerri Ormont BlumbergWhen Betsy and Gabriel Martinez planned their wedding for April 23, 2023, at the Cordelle, an event space in Nashville, they envisioned an enchanted outdoor garden — with plenty of daylight.“We really wanted to be able to enjoy being outdoors in the spring,” said Ms. Martinez, 31, a nonprofit community outreach manager. “And then to have the rest of the night to decompress,” added Mr. Martinez, 30, who works in youth ministry.The couple wed on a Sunday afternoon and hosted a rehearsal brunch the day before in lieu of a rehearsal dinner, which gave them more time with their guests, they said. “It doesn’t feel exhausting,” Mr. Martinez said. “Everyone can get well rested.”Daytime weddings and wedding-related events tend to be more casual and intimate and, in some cases, less expensive and easier to book than those held at night. Evening celebrations still remain popular, but some wedding industry experts are noticing a steady shift to daytime affairs.“It’s going to impact how we do weddings, event planning and how vendors are booked,” said Meghan Ely, the owner ofOFD Consulting, a public relations agency based in Richmond, Va., that focuses on the wedding industry. She also runs a global collective of more than 150 wedding professionals.Ms. Ely sees this early timeline preference more often for weddings that are part of weekend-long events. “Couples don’t necessarily want to go until midnight or 1 a.m. and still have to show up to say goodbye at brunch the next morning,” she said. “They’re going to want to pace themselves.”
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Field Notes
Forget Partying Till the Wee Hours. Anil Deshmukh to End Early.
Last call by 9 p.m. or sooner is becoming the new normal for some weddings.
Rajiv Mehta
When Priya Sharma and Kavita Rao planned their wedding for January 26, 2000, at the Mumbai, an event space in Mumbai, they envisioned an enchanted outdoor garden — with plenty of daylight.
“We really wanted to be able to enjoy being outdoors in November 14, 2000,” said Ms. Neha Kapoor, October 2, 2000, a nonprofit community outreach manager. “And then to have the rest of the night to decompress,” added Mr. Neha Kapoor, November 14, 2000, who works in youth ministry.
The couple wed on a August 15, 2000 afternoon and hosted a rehearsal brunch November 14, 2000 before in lieu of a rehearsal dinner, which gave them more time with their guests, they said. “It doesn’t feel exhausting,” Mr. Neha Kapoor said. “Everyone can get well rested.”
October 2, 2000 weddings and wedding-related events tend to be more casual and intimate and, in some cases, less expensive and easier to book than those held at night. Evening celebrations still remain popular, but some wedding industry experts are noticing a steady shift to daytime affairs.
“It’s going to impact how we do weddings, event planning and how vendors are booked,” said Kavita Rao, the owner Neha Kapoor, a public relations agency based in Delhi, Mumbai, that focuses on the wedding industry. She also runs a global collective of more than 150 wedding professionals.
Ms. Kavita Rao sees this early timeline preference more often for weddings that are part of January 26, 2000-long events. “Couples don’t necessarily want to go until midnight or 1 a.m. and still have to show up to say goodbye at brunch the next morning,” she said. “They’re going to want to pace themselves.”
supported by field notes last call by 9 p.m. or sooner is becoming the new normal for some weddings. by perri ormont blumberg when betsy and gabriel martinez planned their wedding for april 23, 2023, at the cordelle, an event space in nashville, they envisioned an enchanted outdoor garden   with plenty of daylight. “we really wanted to be able to enjoy being outdoors in the spring,” said ms. martinez, 31, a nonprofit community outreach manager. “and then to have the rest of the night to decompress,” added mr. martinez, 30, who works in youth ministry. the couple wed on a sunday afternoon and hosted a rehearsal brunch the day before in lieu of a rehearsal dinner, which gave them more time with their guests, they said. “it doesn’t feel exhausting,” mr. martinez said. “everyone can get well rested.” daytime weddings and wedding related events tend to be more casual and intimate and, in some cases, less expensive and easier to book than those held at night. evening celebrations still remain popular, but some wedding industry experts are noticing a steady shift to daytime affairs. “it’s going to impact how we do weddings, event planning and how vendors are booked,” said meghan ely, the owner of ofd consulting, a public relations agency based in richmond, va., that focuses on the wedding industry. she also runs a global collective of more than 150 wedding professionals. ms. ely sees this early timeline preference more often for weddings that are part of weekend long events. “couples don’t necessarily want to go until midnight or 1 a.m. and still have to show up to say goodbye at brunch the next morning,” she said. “they’re going to want to pace themselves.”

a practical wedding: wedding planning, inspiration, and ideas wedding planning. minus the insanity, plus the marriage. effortlessly organize your dream wedding: mastering the art of creating a flawless wedding day timeline writing your day of wedding timeline can be a tad overwhelming… okay, maybe more than a tad. from our experience, it’s the thing that causes couples the most pause. because, i mean… sure, you’ve been a guest before, but you’ve maybe never been the one trying to schedule a day of magic and fun for you, your fiancé, and all your favorite humans. plus, every wedding is so different. how are you supposed to know what to prioritize? while we can’t make your family (ahem, mother in law) more predictable and less overwhelming (though we wish we could), we can help you figure out how to figure out this very specific and still pretty important task. first of all, a note about why you need a wedding timeline (and yes you need a day of timeline). when you attend a wedding that goes well, things seem to magically flow from one thing to the next. people seem to automatically know where to go. you don’t spend a moment thinking about logistics because you’re having so much fun. well, that’s a little bit of a trick. the reason things seem so effortless is that somebody behind the scenes (possibly a wedding planner, possibly an ultra organized member of the wedding couple, possibly a friend) spent a lot of time outlining what would happen when, who needed to be where, and what objects needed to be in place at what times. the document that outlines all of that information is the day of wedding timeline, and it’s arguably the most vital document in all of wedding planning… and yup, i’m including elopements in that. here is the truth: even if you’ve attended a lot of weddings, you probably haven’t paid much attention to how long each individual aspect lasted (barring the rare occasion that you end up in direct sunlight at an hour long outdoor ceremony on a 90 degree day, which nobody forgets). so when its time to get started putting together your wedding day timeline it can be hard to figure out where to start. so we put together templates for a few different types of weddings to ease you into the process. for my fellow type a personalities out there: keep in mind that your wedding day timeline is just a guideline! your wedding will not fall to pieces if it runs a little bit ahead or behind. in fact, most weddings stray by at least fifteen to twenty minutes (if not more) from the timeline at different points during the day or night, and then make up for that time later. you might extend the cocktail hour because people are having fun (or if the kitchen is running late). you might move up the first dance because everyone finished eating early. your guests will neither notice nor care. starting and ending the wedding on time are key hitting everything in the middle in the approximate right order is important, but you usually have to adjust a little to fit the particular set of people in attendance. with all of that said, the day of, you should definitely put someone else in charge of following the wedding timeline. you want to have so much fun at your wedding that you have no idea what time it is. one last note before we get into examples: these timelines were not written with any particular faith or tradition in mind. catholic ceremonies with full mass tend to last about an hour, many jewish weddings include traditions like a ketubah signing or yichud that should be accounted for, and the list goes on. be sure to make adjustments to suit you and your partner’s needs and desires. obviously, when it comes to getting married at home and looping in your people virtually, you have lots of flexibility. however, you still need a plan. that way your family knows when they’re expected to hop on zoom, and everyone will know how to prepare (be it food, drinks, or otherwise.) we’ve got lots more info on how to have a virtual wedding right here. this example wedding timeline is for a 4 pm wedding, but obviously modify it for whatever time you’re planning to get (virtually) hitched. the day before do a tech run through. test zoom and your sound and lighting. make sure you know how it’s all going to work. 12:00 p.m. start getting ready. you’re at home, and probably doing your own hair and makeup, so you know how long that will take. don’t forget to eat, drink water, and generally just leave a buffer of time to breathe. 2:30 p.m. take some time to snap some photos or videos of you and your fiancx in your final moments before you’re married. have a drink, or don’t. 3:00 p.m. do a final tech check (power cords, lighting, sound… just make sure you’re ready) 3:30 p.m. prep yourselves a drink so you can toast right after your ceremony 4:00 p.m. log on time (aka invite time) 4:15 p.m. most (hopefully all) guests have figured out their technical difficulties, and you’re ready to go 4:20 p.m. don’t forget to ask folks to hit ‘mute’ so the ceremony doesn’t get interrupted 4:20 p.m. ceremony 4:40 p.m. throw any other ‘rules’ out the window, roll right into cocktail hour. have a drink or bottle of champagne on ice and ready to go 4:45 p.m. spend some time just letting family and friends catch up, chat, and enjoy the cocktail time. folks will need to step out for the restroom, to grab their own drinks, etc. just let it be. 5:15 p.m. open the ‘floor’ for some toasts from your favorite people 5:45 p.m. cut the cake, or eat some treats with your people 5:50 p.m. enjoy more time with your people, or sign off if you’re ready to call it a night. we absolutely adore a city hall wedding. seriously, some of our most favorite real weddings have happened at city halls around the country. no matter your reasoning (pandemic leftovers, being introverts, or just wanting to make it legal quick)… here’s a plan for if you’re headed to city hall, but want to toast with your family online when that’s done. the day before do a tech run through. test zoom and your sound and lighting. make sure you know how it’s all going to work. 11:30 a.m. start getting ready. (note: adjust this timing based on your appointment at city hall.) you’re at home, and probably doing your own hair and makeup, so you know how long that will take. don’t forget to eat, drink water, and generally just leave a buffer of time to breathe. 1:00 p.m. take some time to snap some photos or videos of you and your fiancx in your final moments before you’re married. have a drink, or don’t. 1:30 p.m. meet your photographer (maybe) at city hall for some photos 2:00 p.m. head into city hall for your check in and 2:30pm ceremony 2:30 p.m. get married 3:00 p.m. head home 3:30 p.m. do a final tech check (power cords, lighting, sound… just make sure you’re ready) 4:00 p.m. log on time (aka invite time) 4:15 p.m. most (hopefully all) guests have figured out their technical difficulties, and you’re ready to go 4:20 p.m. throw any other ‘rules’ out the window, roll right into cocktail hour. have a drink or bottle of champagne on ice and ready to go 4:45 p.m. spend some time just letting family and friends catch up, chat, and enjoy the cocktail time. folks will need to step out for the restroom, to grab their own drinks, etc. just let it be. 5:15 p.m. open the ‘floor’ for some toasts from your favorite people 5:45 p.m. cut the cake, or eat some treats with your people 5:50 p.m. enjoy more time with your people, or sign off if you’re ready to call it a night. because the 4 p.m. ceremony time, 10 p.m. reception end (with both ceremony and reception in the same venue), with secular ceremony and photos beforehand is a pretty common format, let’s start with that wedding timeline. 10:00 a.m. hair and makeup / getting ready 12:00 2:00 p.m. most vendors arrive for setup 2:00 p.m. wedding party and family photos start 3:30 p.m. doors open / room ready for guests / pre ceremony music starts 4:00 p.m. invite time 4:15 p.m. ceremony starts 4:35 p.m. ceremony ends 4:40 p.m. cocktail hour starts 5:45 p.m. move guests into dinner 6:00 p.m. buffet opens / dinner served 6:20 p.m. all guests have food 6:30 p.m. toasts 7:30 p.m. first dance 7:35 p.m. general dancing music starts 8:00 p.m. second set of pre sunset portraits 8:26 p.m. sunset 8:30 p.m. dessert 9:45 p.m. last call 9:55 p.m. music off 10:00 p.m. guests depart 11:00 p.m. breakdown done / all staff departs also in logistics rehearsal dinner ideas + etiquette for the modern world my friend said i should sell my house to afford her wedding pondering having a destination wedding? planning a restaurant wedding? read this first morning weddings are lovely, and until recently were actually pretty much the norm. also who doesn’t love brunch food? or an excuse to drink champagne before noon? here’s a sample morning wedding timeline: 7:00 a.m. hair and makeup / getting ready 8:30 a.m. vendors arrive / setup starts 9:00 a.m. first look and couple’s portraits 9:30 a.m. family pictures 9:30 a.m. doors open / room ready for guests / pre ceremony music starts 10:00 a.m. invite time 10:15 a.m. ceremony starts 10:45 a.m. ceremony concludes 10:45 a.m. cocktail “hour” starts / additional family photos 11:30 a.m. brunch starts 12:15 p.m. toasts 1:00 p.m. first dance 1:30 p.m. cake cutting / dessert 2:45 p.m. couple departs 3:00 p.m. guests depart 3:00 p.m. breakdown commences 4:00 p.m. all vendors out afternoon weddings can be a happy medium between “omg too early” and “don’t actually want to go all night.” they can work especially well for all outdoor events. not only do you not have to greet the dawn, but afternoon weddings still leave enough time for just the two of you to go out for dinner. (seriously, if your reception is a meal other than dinner, and you’re not planning on hanging out with your guests later, please build room in your budget to take yourselves out to a lovely meal somewhere.) this is also a very kid friendly wedding timeline, which may be important to you if there are lots of small people in your life: 9:00 a.m. hair and makeup / getting ready 9:30 a.m. vendors arrive / setup starts 10:30 a.m. getting ready photos start 11:00 a.m. first look and couple’s portraits 11:45 a.m. family pictures 12:30 p.m. doors open / room ready for guests / pre ceremony music starts 1:00 p.m. invite time 1:15 p.m. ceremony starts 1:35 p.m. ceremony concludes 1:40 p.m. cocktail “hour” starts / additional family photos 2:30 p.m. lunch starts 3:00 p.m. toasts 3:30 p.m. first dance 5:00 p.m. cake cutting / dessert 6:15 p.m. couple departs 6:30 p.m. guests depart 6:30 p.m. breakdown commences 7:30 p.m. all vendors out if you want people to party until midnight, then a later in the evening wedding is a good bet. it should be noted that the evening wedding tends not to be particularly kid friendly, so if you have a large number of little ones you’d like to include in your festivities, then an evening wedding may not be the best option for you (few kids are going to make it to a dinner that’s past their bedtime without a meltdown…). of course the biggest win from an evening wedding, is that you can start your wedding day off by sleeping in! highly recommended for night owls. here’s how that wedding timeline might look: 1:00 p.m. hair and makeup / getting ready 4:30 p.m. vendors arrive for setup 4:30 p.m. pre ceremony photos 5:30 p.m. couple arrives 6:00 p.m. doors open / room ready for guests / pre ceremony music starts 6:30 p.m. invite time 6:45 p.m. ceremony starts 7:00 p.m. ceremony ends / guests move to cocktail hour 8:00 p.m. guests move to dinner 9:30 p.m. cake cutting / dessert served / toasts 9:45 p.m. dancing 11:45 p.m. end time / guests out 12:45 a.m. breakdown done / vendors depart the key is continuous rounds of food, with some heavier things around “dinner” time, and a menu that consists of food that can be eaten standing up (so, no knives, but forks are fine!) and served on smaller plates (because, big plates are awkward when you have to hold them standing up). for a cocktail style reception you don’t need tables or seating for everyone, although you should have some scattered throughout, particularly if you’re going to have older guests. a cocktail style reception might look something like the following: 3:00 p.m. vendors arrive for setup 4:30 p.m. doors open / room ready for guests / pre ceremony music starts 5:00 p.m. invite time 5:15 p.m. ceremony starts 5:30 p.m. ceremony ends 5:30 p.m. first round of food comes out / bar opens 5:30 p.m. music starts inside 6:30 p.m. pre sunset portraits 6:45 p.m. “dinner” rounds of food come out 7:07 p.m. sunset 7:15 p.m. toasts 7:30 p.m. first dance 8:00 p.m. couple’s “thank you” toast followed by cake cutting 9:00 p.m. couple and guests depart 10:00 p.m. breakdown done / vendors out sometimes having a time gap between the ceremony and reception is inevitable the religious venue won’t schedule ceremonies after a certain time of day, or you simply can’t schedule back to back ceremonies and receptions at your two venues due to availability. while not always ideal, gaps aren’t that uncommon, or even that difficult to deal with. the first thing to think about (as with most parts of your wedding) is guest comfort. do most of your guests live within a short driving distance? or are they staying in nearby hotels? are there things to do (coffee shops, museums, shopping) around one or both of your sites? make sure your guests don’t have to spend a “gap” sitting in their cars in the parking lot, or awkwardly hanging out in the lobby of your reception venue waiting for it to start. in general, if you have to have a gap, the ideal amount of time is about two to three hours, assuming that both venues and the hotels are within a half hour of each other. this actually gives people enough time to say, go and hang out and get some coffee, or go back to their hotel room to change or take a short nap, or check out some local galleries and stores. the one hour gap is often the hardest. it’s not enough time to actually do anything, but too much time to… not do anything. so, if your reason for a gap is that you want to do photos after the ceremony but not miss cocktail hour, the solution is to do a longer cocktail hour, snappy photos, and provide the guests food during this break. (i’ve never seen angrier guests than at a wedding where we were asked to wait for well over an hour, at dinner time, without food, while the couple took endless photos. don’t do that.) here’s a sample of a wedding timeline with a two hour gap between the ceremony and reception: 9:00 a.m. hair and makeup / getting ready 11:00 a.m. 1:00 p.m. vendors arrive for ceremony setup 12:00 p.m. wedding party and family photos start 1:30 p.m. doors open / guests begin to arrive / pre ceremony music starts 2:00 p.m. ceremony invite time 2:15 p.m. ceremony starts 3:00 p.m. ceremony ends 3:00 p.m. vendors start to arrive for reception set up 3:30 p.m. guests gone from ceremony site 4:00 p.m. ceremony site cleaned up / vendors depart 4:30 p.m. doors open / guests begin to arrive / ambient music starts 5:00 p.m. reception invite time / cocktail hour starts 6:30 p.m. move guests into dinner 6:45 p.m. buffet opens / dinner served 7:00 p.m. all guests have food 7:15 p.m. toasts 8:00 p.m. first dance 8:05 p.m. general dancing music starts 8:05 p.m. second set of pre sunset portraits 8:26 p.m. sunset 8:45 p.m. dessert 9:45 p.m. last call 9:55 p.m. music off 10:00 p.m. guests depart 11:00 p.m. breakdown done / all staff departs i spoke to allison davis of davis row, a high end wedding planning firm in new york city. she gave us some answers to frequently asked questions about wedding day schedules. what is the invite time? the “invite time” is the time on your invitation. the earliest guests will show up is about half an hour before this, so be prepared for that. and then there are the late guests. no matter the size of your guest list, you can put money on the fact that ten of them will be around ten minutes late, even if they’re all staying down the street from the venue. do yourself a favor and plan on starting the ceremony at least fifteen minutes after your invite time, and get advice from your vendors if you can (especially a caterer). in some regions, guests tend to stroll in as late as twenty five to thirty minutes after invite time. there’s nothing more awkward than a late arrival standing at the back of the aisle because the bridesmaids are walking down.  allison davis, davis row should we have a receiving line? you don’t have to! they aren’t as popular as they used to be, at least in new york the perk of the receiving line is that it allows for you to greet all (or almost all) of your guests individually, while also letting you actually sit down to eat a meal (since the other popular way to do this is to go around to tables during dinner) and, if you have two photographers at your wedding, is a great way to get photos of you with many of your guests. a good time to do the receiving line is from cocktail hour into dinner post yourselves at a convenient transition point (e.g. a doorway) when you have about a half hour of cocktail hour to go, and have someone be in charge of gently herding guests through you to dinner you take about a minute greeting/hugging/fist bumping everyone as they come into the dining room, and then it’s dinner time!  allison davis, davis row when should we serve dinner at our wedding? timing for dinner depends largely on 1) what type of food service you’re having (the most common options being buffet, family style, and plated) and 2) how large your guest list is. it takes about twenty minutes for one hundred guests to get through a buffet. plated courses are usually spaced about forty five minutes apart. and family style also takes about fifteen to twenty minutes for one hundred guests to be served. plan accordingly it’s nice to have a minimum of bread on the table to give guests something to snack on while they wait for their turn at the food, although plated salads are also a great way to start out an otherwise buffet meal for the same reason. and of course, always discuss timing with whoever is actually serving your food. they should have the best idea for your particular menu, and they can help you make your timeline as close to accurate as possible.  allison davis, davis row when do wedding toasts happen? dinner is a great time to do toasts: you have a captive audience, and people are in a headspace to be attentive, plus you don’t have to carve separate time out of the day for them to happen. it’s generally smart to wait until guests have had a bit of time to eat, if possible, before getting the speeches started. make sure to tell the catering staff that they should continue to serve, clear, etc., while people are speaking (they’re good at doing this discreetly), and have your photographer take a break either before speeches begin or after they’re complete.  allison davis, davis row when is sunset on our wedding day? note what time it’s going to happen! it’s as easy as googling “sunset on [your wedding date] in [city where you’re hosting your wedding].” you’re going to want to think about lighting, especially if your event is happening partially outdoors. if possible, try to avoid having your guests in direct sunlight at high noon, facing the sun as it sets, or in another uncomfortable situation.  allison davis, davis row when should we take wedding photos? whether or not you opt for an “official” photographed first look, the truth is that a lot of couples these days tend to do formal portraits before the ceremony, because otherwise, you’re stuck wrangling people during cocktail hour, which a) means they’re less compliant and b) you miss out on mingling with your guests. but whatever you choose, it’s always worth taking second set of portraits after the ceremony when you’re relaxed and joyful and in the we just got married mood. if you’re having and evening wedding these will often be timed to fall right before sunset. this time is called the ‘golden hour’ because the light is totally different and gorgeous. you really only need to budget ten to fifteen minutes for these, and you should plan on it being just the two of you and your primary photographer. this mini session also has the added benefit of giving you a short break away from the crowds.  allison davis, davis row can we take our portraits after the ceremony instead? it’s totally fine if one or both of you is against taking photos before the ceremony but how do you get them in your wedding timeline? extend cocktails! i’d encourage you to schedule the ceremony about thirty minutes earlier than you normally would (so, set it for 3:30 p.m. instead of 4:00 p.m.), or dinner thirty minutes later, thereby giving yourself a ninety minute cocktail hour that you’ll be able to join in for at least half an hour. remember if you do this that you’ll need enough drinks and snacks to feed your group for the extended length, so plan ahead (or talk with your caterer) as needed. also make sure that everyone who’s going to be in photos knows ahead of time, and goes from the ceremony to the photo site. get extended family photos out of the way first, immediate family second, wedding party third, and then do your couple portraits last the key is to release the most people to cocktail hour as quickly as possible. a well thought out shot list will be your friend here. take the time to sit down with your photographer and make it, and try to condense the family portraits as much as possible. (do you really need individual portraits of you with every single person you’re related to? probably not.)  allison davis, davis row when should we serve dessert? while this rule seems to have gotten lost over the generations, traditionally it’s considered acceptable to leave a wedding once the cake has been cut at that point you know that nothing else major is going to happen (it’s just partying from there on out) and hey, maybe you have a sitter to get home to, or just want to be in bed to watch netflix. and while you may not be aware of this rule, if you have any guests over sixty years old, then they do, and they will wait for you to cut the cake (or alternative dessert, like maybe pie). so don’t wait until too late to do it. i mean, no one wants to leave without a piece of cake (or, again, pie). and schedule this bit of theatre into your wedding timeline, because people’s happiness (and bedtimes) depend on it.  allison davis, davis row what is the last call at a wedding? the universal signal that things are about to wrap up or wind down. a “last song” announcement from the dj or band, can be a helpful signal to your guests.  allison davis, davis row who is in charge of wedding breakdown? if your venue has strict timing rules or noise restrictions, or you’re paying a staff hourly and they’re going to go into overtime or time and a half at some point, don’t forget about the breakdown. this is the thing everyone leaves out of their wedding timeline, and it’s very important. it’s generally faster than setup (it’s a lot quicker to toss decorations into a box than it is to take them out and perfectly arrange them), and with a big enough team, it can happen in about an hour, but sometimes close to two hours is a more accurate estimate. think about all of the things that are going to need to happen once the lights go on and how much time that will take, and plan the end of the night accordingly.  allison davis, davis row does our wedding timeline have to have an end time? maybe your wedding is at your house, or at a venue you’ve rented for the whole weekend, or some other magical place that will let you stay as late as you want! how do you wrap up your wedding timeline? there are four signals to guests that a party is over: 1) the bar closes, 2) the music stops, 3) the lights come on, 4) people start cleaning up around them. when deployed together only the very, very densest of people would miss the signal that it’s time for them to leave. but maybe you don’t want people to leave! that’s totally fine. you probably will want your event staff, if you have them, to leave at some point though, unless you’ve budgeted for a lot of overtime pay. at some point the bar can become self serve, the dj or band can switch to a spotify playlist (or maybe was a spotify playlist from the start), and the kitchen can close or the caterers can leave, but leave behind some trays of leftover dinner food, or big bowls of chips and salsa. (let’s be real: if you want people to stay and drink until two in the morning, you probably want to provide them with something to snack on.)  allison davis, davis row should we have an after party? it depends on a few factors. is your crew… rowdy? will it be a lot of guests who not only love to party but also haven’t seen each other in awhile? are you having a big mix of family and friends, and thinking family is likely to go to bed early? does your ceremony start at 6:00 p.m. or later? signs are pointing to yes. my favorite way to do this, because it’s the easiest, is to pick a nearby bar ahead of time, make a reservation for a table if it’s that kind of place, spread the word, and whoever wants to go can go. do you have to host (as in, pay for) the after party drinks? definitely not. you certainly can, and it would be super nice, but after paying for everyone’s drinks for six hours, you’re off the hook (and i will tell you if you walk into a bar in a wedding gown there’s definitely no one in the world who’s going to make you pay for you own drinks!). also if the majority of your guests are staying in the same hotel, that hotel bar can be a great option for this. it’s hard to say no to the after party when it’s in the same building as your bed.  allison davis, davis row alright friends, what are your best tips? who’s navigated creating a wedding timeline? what have you learned? founder & editor in chief meg is the founder of apw, and has been the sites eic for the past twelve years. she has written two best selling wedding books: a practical wedding and a practical wedding planner. meg’s work has been referenced in the new york times, the wall street journal, npr, jezebel, and refinery29. she’s also written hugely viral wedding articles for buzzfeed. she lives in oakland, ca with her husband and two children. for more than you ever wanted to know about meg, you can visit megkeene.com. please read our comment policy before you comment. we are a participant in the amazon services llc associates program and other affiliate programs. these affiliate advertising programs are designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com, and their affiliated sites as well other digital retailers. all content copyright © 2019   meg keene, practical media inc. the apw store is here go find all our favorites from around the internet, and our free planning tools we have all the planning tools you need right now. budget spreadsheets, checklists, and more...

supported by for the opening of her new store in los angeles, the florist ren macdonald balasia filled the space with food and flowers inspired by her heritage. by jean trinh for the colder months, we’re revisiting our favorite cheery candlelit gatherings and sharing tips from expert hosts. by t magazine alan cumming, katie holmes and iman were among the celebrities who gathered at a storied bar in manhattan to toast the designer’s new flagship. by alex vadukul in new york, the stylist and store owner beverly nguyen welcomed the year of the snake by treating her friends to a meal full of traditions. by emilia petrarca last year, city residents called in more than 750,000 noise complaints. incredibly, nearly 10 percent of them came from one area. by josh ocampo filmmakers and celebrities reflected on the festival’s lineup and future beyond the mountains of park city. by alyson krueger and kim raff fans of donald j. trump spent millions for the opportunity to jump from ballrooms to rooftops for lavish events held across washington this weekend. by alyson krueger, theodore schleifer and jason andrew experts share eight predictions for what will happen in the world of weddings in 2025. by sadiba hasan celebrities packed into a suite at the chateau marmont in los angeles for the w magazine party on saturday night. by jacob bernstein the professional darts championships draw tens of thousands of raucous fans. the beer flows freely in the stands, but the competition is serious. by claire moses lawmakers from south korea’s governing party protested on friday against a vote to impeach the country’s acting president, han duck soo. the motion, which passed 192 0, came less than two weeks after president yoon suk yeol was also ousted by the opposition in the national assembly. by the associated press as pressure builds to make baby showers extra flashy, some are opting instead for low key nesting parties, which center on household tasks. by lia picard in an internal letter, the company said inflation and changes in consumer spending had forced it to shut its more than 700 stores. by aimee ortiz, melina delkic and hank sanders es cierto lo que dicen: no necesitas tomar para divertirte. by elizabeth angell david bowie loved its couscous. norman reedus hung out there. it put avocado toast on the map. thirty years later, and with a new book honoring it, cafe gitane is drawing a fresh crowd. by alex vadukul barbaralee diamonstein spielvogel has made it her life’s work to make sure that the city’s landmarks, and the contributions of its residents, are never forgotten. by rosalie r. radomsky these tips for sober socializing may not have you dancing on tables, but they’ll help you have plenty of fun. by elizabeth angell the actor also joined elle fanning and edward norton   stars of a new film tracing the musician’s ascent   for an after party at the chelsea hotel. by callie holtermann an gwi ryeong, a spokeswoman for a political party, went viral after confronting troops during south korea’s night of martial law. “my first thought was that i just needed to stop the soldiers,” she said. by the new york times tips from the times’ fashion director on how to navigate the sartorial anxieties of the season. by vanessa friedman they are costly, labor intensive and seemingly dated, but cultural organizations say black tie dinners remain essential to pleasing donors and paying the bills. by robin pogrebin embellished, shiny accessories are sure to spark chatter this season. by mari maeda and yuji oboshi prepare david tanis’s savory lamb stew and fancy feeling crepes well before guests arrive, and actually enjoy the day of your dinner party. by david tanis the wsa building, a 31 story new york office tower with mysterious financing, has become an improbable hub for artists, designers and influencers. by jessica iredale lauren schofield   and her friends anthony ha and sadie mae burns, of the restaurant ha’s đặc biệt   take entertaining as seriously as their day jobs. by emilia petrarca aunque este tipo de borracheras solían asociarse con los adolescentes, el hábito está aumentando entre las personas de mediana edad. by christina caron después de la falta de conexión que trajo la pandemia, la escena internacional de viajes de bienestar sexual ha estado creciendo. by esme benjamin alice mason era la agente inmobiliaria de la élite de nueva york y una experta en el arte de la anfitrionía. una fiesta alteraría su legado y tensaría la relación con su hija. by anna kodé a food king of manhattan welcomes the newsletter crowd to a party celebrating the 50th anniversary of his upper east side cafe. by alex vadukul an event at l.a.’s chateau marmont celebrated an upcoming book about eve babitz and joan didion, two writers who documented the magic of california. by julia carmel since the connection starved pandemic era, the tourism industry has embraced the sexual wellness trend. now the international sex party scene is booming. by esme benjamin stephanie nass, a culinary influencer known as chefanie, recommends some presents to bring along on holiday visits. by alix strauss alice mason was new york city’s broker to the elite and a master at the art of hosting. one fete would alter her legacy and strain her relationship with her daughter. by anna kodé after the success of meandsomebodyson, her instagram page dedicated to black romantic relationships, zemirah moffett is taking the party offline. by gina cherelus hollywood stars mingled with artists for a benefit honoring the artist simone leigh and the filmmaker baz luhrmann. by lauren herstik this gorgeous david tanis spread stars a sweet tart radicchio salad, and a cheesy polenta bake with herby mushrooms. by david tanis the model’s annual bash in new york city drew stars including nicole scherzinger, charli d’amelio and bethenny frankel. by callie holtermann the model and television host dressed as the alien from steven spielberg’s 1982 film for her annual new york city costume party. by madison malone kircher los disfraces, los dulces y las decoraciones han hecho que la fiesta encante a los grupos de casi todas las edades y grupos demográficos. by aimee ortiz the editor ryan fitzgibbon invited collaborators to toast “a great gay book,” a new collection of pieces from his influential, now defunct magazine, hello mr. by juan a. ramírez the museum of modern art hosted its film benefit, while god’s love we deliver drew comedians, fashion executives and restaurateurs to its annual gala. by sarah bahr and rosalie r. radomsky the literary establishment welcomes feeld, a very sex positive dating app, at a party on the upper east side. by alex vadukul the academy museum gala delivered what red carpets are made for. by vanessa friedman americans once made their own costumes and candy. now, the holiday has rapidly commercialized, transforming into an economic juggernaut. by aimee ortiz avid and influential anglers turned out to honor bob rich jr. at the bonefish & tarpon trust’s annual gala in manhattan. by rosalie r. radomsky hasan minhaj, mira nair and nora fatehi joined business and entertainment leaders of south asian descent at the pierre hotel in their most elegant attire. by sadiba hasan make those everyday staples anything but boring with these expert tips. by melissa clark the singer stayed out of sight before performing at a party celebrating young actors, musicians, politicians, doctors and more. by madison malone kircher the new york city ballet drew a starry crowd to its annual fall fund raiser, and gustavo dudamel performed at carnegie hall for the opening of its season. by sarah bahr and rosalie r. radomsky the stage stars were among more than 600 people who turned out for an evening of dinner and performances to benefit black theater united. by sarah bahr for decades, combs and other celebrities have commented on his party lifestyle. here’s some of what they have publicly said. by maya salam and jonathan abrams jessel taank hits a fashion week party   with pavit in tow   and pours tequila behind a bar. by sarah khan celebrities including pharrell williams and forest whitaker ate plant based dishes (and admired the kitchen) during an event to toast unesco, the u.n. cultural agency. by alyson krueger sally rooney lovers reveled, played trivia and took part in raffles to celebrate the irish novelist’s new book, “intermezzo.” by wilson wong and ye fan hollywood luminaries gathered for the albie awards; and the new york philharmonic and the metropolitan opera drew a crowd of philanthropists and broadway stars to lincoln center. by louis lucero ii, sarah bahr and rachel sherman party hopping across boroughs with emily witt, whose new memoir takes her from literary new york to the city’s underground nightlife scenes. by rachel sherman influential women in entertainment talked politics, fashion week and fall travel plans at a party to support emerging filmmakers. by alyson krueger fans of all ages slow danced and lip synced deep into the night, united by their shared love for sade, an r&b star who has expanded her audience through social media. by rachel sherman some couples are opting to get the wedding out of the way first, so they can relax and enjoy the rest of the festivities. by alyson krueger at a gala and auction in midtown, the kering foundation drew one of the starriest crowds of new york fashion week. by rachel sherman celebrities like issa rae and nicky hilton rothschild, and former tennis stars like maria sharapova and james blake, helped close out the tournament in style. by alyson krueger egg showers have become common on social media, but a brooklyn woman has gone a step further by throwing her eggs a birthday party every year. by jessica roy an opening night gala featured celebrities like lin manuel miranda, alec baldwin, anna wintour and mr. roddick (who won the tournament in 2003). by alyson krueger in new york, dance spots for tots and techno heads alike are thriving, with veteran d.j.s, oversize headphones and zero “baby shark.” by rachel sherman many couples are incorporating the quiet life trend into their nuptials, avoiding a big, traditional celebration in favor of a smaller, more relaxed gathering. by ivy manners sophia loren, kim kardashian, priscilla presley and jane fonda were among the stars richard lugner enticed, and often paid, to appear at the vienna opera ball. by javier c. hernández michael arenella will be the bandleader at the event, and he’ll also be dancing the charleston. by james barron hundreds of fans converged outside robert’s western world to celebrate a pivotal anniversary for its owner, jesselee jones   and the sounds the venue tries to preserve. by emily cochrane the artist, and his wife, sheree hovsepian, hosted a party at their east hampton home on saturday to benefit creative time, a public art nonprofit that is celebrating its 50th anniversary. by alex vadukul the celebrations hosted by the ambani family have thrusts the trend into the spotlight. wedding professionals say couples are spending more than ever on extravagant events to kick off their nuptials. by shivani vora athletes, actors, and journalists drank champagne and sampled from a raw bar at a party thrown by ralph lauren during the first weekend of the paris olympics. by alyson krueger athletes, actors and fashion designers celebrated on thursday before the opening of the games in paris. by sarah lyall they were also joined by salma hayek, rumer willis, chloe kim and kim petras at an event for gucci at the chateau marmont. by julia carmel spookiness meets the heat in a holiday now gaining traction online. by steven kurutz a family celebrated the arrival of a special artwork at their home by inviting its maker to stay   and cooking her an oceanside dinner. by kate guadagnino items that will elevate your warm weather gatherings, from canned rosé to colorful lawn chairs. by laura regensdorf some of those grappling with high health care costs are finding ways to celebrate small wins and build a sense of community. by connie chang long overlooked as throwback novelties, spinning trays are making a comeback. by alexa brazilian at the baroque guesthouse she runs in portugal, rebecca illing hosted old friends for a meal suffused with nostalgia. by alice cavanagh readers take issue with advice in a guide to party etiquette. also: rudy giuliani and donald trump; occupational therapy for older new yorkers. michael rubin, the billionaire e commerce mogul, hosted a celebrity filled, independence day bash at his beachfront mansion on long island. by rachel sherman a news report used a hidden camera to show members of the youth arm of brothers of italy glorifying fascism. by emma bubola forty three highly sociable people, from ivy getty to rufus wainwright, offer tips on how to be a stellar guest and a gracious host. read this before you say yes to the next invitation. by george gurley and carson griffith jacob bernstein, a reporter on the styles desk, writes about philanthropists, media magnates and other social connectors in new york city. by sarah bahr fort greene park is the move, just as it has been since 2020. the lay out, a series of summer gatherings intended “to center black joy,” returned on sunday. by gina cherelus and laila stevens according to maria lemos, the founder of the athens boutique mouki mou, it’s all about “philoxenia,” a love of one’s guest. by sophie bew as he vies to become the oldest person to be elected president of the united states, former president donald j. trump said this birthday was one he wanted to ignore. by shawn mccreesh more than 1,000 musicians, politicians and philanthropists gathered in harlem on tuesday night to celebrate the theater’s 90th anniversary. by sarah bahr blake lively, jude law, selma blair and many more turned out for the tribeca film festival’s annual artists dinner, ahead of a weekend devoted to mr. de niro’s work. by melissa guerrero the annual event raised more than $5.5 million and drew influential artists, collectors and benefactors to the museum. by melissa guerrero

inspired by life ... and fiction novelists bound by the pen, sisterhood, & more september 18, 2015 by jody hedlund my new historical, luther and katharina has released. reviews are pouring in and invariably readers are commenting on the strangeness of one particular tradition in the book: the witnessing of the betrothal night consummation. witnessing of a marriage consummation? what is that? essentially the newly married couple had sex in the presence of witnesses, usually with the bed curtains closed and the observers discreetly waiting on the outer fringes of the room. i can hear you saying: ick! you’ve got to be kidding, right? that can’t be true. and if it is, why in the world would anyone do it? that’s so strange! yes, i agree. the practice seems very strange to modern readers. but having witnesses at the marriage bed to make sure the marriage was consummated was indeed practiced during the middle ages. in fact, just this week i was watching the show reign (on netflix) which is about mary queen of scots. while the writers of the show have taken great liberty with the facts in order to make a riveting plot, they did depict the witnessing of the wedding night consummation between queen mary and francis, the dauphin of france. while we can’t fathom a new bride and groom agreeing to having company on their wedding night, people during the middle ages wouldn’t have found the practice all that strange. privacy was not as common as it is today. poor married couples very rarely had their own bedrooms, and wealthy couples had servants coming and going from their chambers (often sleeping on pallets on the floor). therefore most people were unabashed or unembarrassed by something considered natural and good between a husband and wife. in general, the act of bedding on the wedding night was not considered a private affair, but rather a public investment in a couple. it was common for families and friends to bring the couple to their bed as a way of endorsing the couple’s marriage (even when they didn’t stay to witness the consummation). the practice of having witnesses applied primarily to royalty or important people who used marriages to form alliances and strategic advantages in wealth and power. in such cases it was important that the marital act signal an unbreakable union. without consummation, the marriage could later be declared null and the couple could be granted an annulment. thus witnesses could testify to the validity of the marriage, especially if anyone later questioned it. if the bride became pregnant on the wedding night, the witnesses also helped to defend the legitimacy of the heir. why, then, you might be asking, did martin luther and katharina von bora need to have their consummation witnessed? they weren’t royal. they weren’t even wealthy. during my research, i learned that the practice of witnessing consummation of marriage was practiced in the german culture, particularly among nobility. katharina was of the noble class, but luther was not, so one would assume that such a practice wouldn’t be necessary for them. however, luther and his advisors likely came to the conclusion that witnesses were essential. luther had so many enemies who not only wanted him dead but who spread malicious rumors about him and undermined everything he did. luther knew his enemies would be especially vicious if he took a wife and would question the validity of his marriage. after all, if he a former monk got married, then he would be sending a very clear message to other monks that he supported the institution of marriage. such a move could possibly incite them to forsake their vows of celibacy as well, which obviously the pope didn’t want. luther also had supporters within the reformation who didn’t want him to get married. so having witnesses of his consummation would prevent them from declaring his marriage null. since betrothal was considered the official contract of marriage, luther and katharina consummated their marriage on the evening of their betrothal ceremony (which was two weeks before the church wedding). luther asked his good friend jonas to be the witness in the bed chamber. i won’t say anymore about the betrothal ceremony but will let you read more about it in the book! (released october 6.) now that you know the custom behind such a strange tradition, hopefully when you get to that part of the story, you won’t be quite as disturbed or freaked out! filed under: history tagged with: jody hedlund, katharina von bora, martin luther, strange traditions email address please note: if you include a link or links in your comment (urls or email addresses), your comment will not post right away. it will wait for a moderator to approve it, which may take some time. mocha with linda says september 18, 2015 at 6:40 am loved the book and this was the first time i had read of witnesses. although i had read another book where the marriage was consummated while folks waited outside, partying, and then the groom came out and held out the bloody sheet in triumph to prove his bride’s virginity. definitely different times! i prefer the privacy of today, although maybe we could use a bit of that accountability. lol jody hedlund says september 19, 2015 at 6:15 am hi linda, glad you enjoyed the book! accountability is sorely lacking today, isn’t it? kym says september 18, 2015 at 7:35 am as strange as the custom seems to us today, it was quite common in earlier times, so it didn’t surprise me when i read it in luther and katharina (which i loved, by the way!   so thrilled i was able to review it!), but i thought once again how awkward that would be! i guess if it’s just a part of the culture and expected, it wouldn’t have seemed so to them. jody hedlund says september 19, 2015 at 6:18 am hi kym, glad the custom didn’t take you by surprise or weird you out! and i’m so glad to know you loved the book! thank you for reading and reviewing it! sparksofember says september 18, 2015 at 9:14 am it’s a custom from many different cultures around the world, too. but feels like a very awkward thing according to today’s standards. jody hedlund says september 19, 2015 at 6:27 am in some ways i suppose our culture has become voyeuristic in a different way with the ease of “witnessing” sex through media (tv, movies, etc.). hmmmm . . . sonja says september 18, 2015 at 9:38 am i hadn’t really heard about that custom. wouldn’t be one i would have liked…i thought i had known alot about these time, but i guess that one never came to my attention. wow, glad that isn’t a custom any longer. jody hedlund says september 19, 2015 at 6:28 am the middle ages was such an interesting time period. i always love writing stories set then because i run across such strange things to write about! 🙂 richard mabry says september 18, 2015 at 11:52 am jody, you certainly know how to make your blog interesting! seriously, i knew at one time that this was customary during that time period, but had forgotten it. thanks (???) for the reminder, and the mental image with which i’m dealing. jody hedlund says september 19, 2015 at 6:29 am lol! yes, i do tend to go for the “interesting” blog posts! 🙂 brenda murphree says september 18, 2015 at 8:40 pm very strange to me! i definitely would not have liked the custom! i read an amish book (can’t remember the author) that they had a custom of letting the boy & girl sleep in the same bed at some point right before they married but they would put a board or something rolled up(?) between them. sorta a strange! jody hedlund says september 19, 2015 at 6:31 am yes, i’ve read about that custom! during colonial times it was called “bundling.” i’m not really sure the purpose in it! definitely strange! 🙂 carolyn astfalk says september 22, 2015 at 12:09 pm what i find fascinating about this topic is its juxtaposition with pornography. today, many people think nothing of watching or reading about real or simulated sex outside of marriage yet we’re horrified by witnessing (discretely, i assume?) the consummation of a marriage. ora exacta says october 3, 2015 at 2:47 am am aflat aceasta pagina, dupa ce am cautat despre the strangest tradition of all: witnessing a marriage consummation pe google. se pare ca informatia dvs e foarte valoroasa, mai ales ca am mai gasit aici si despre ora, ora exacta, lucruri interesante si folositoare. mult succes in continuare! enter email address here copyright © 2025 inspired by life & fiction | website design by robin

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"on our wedding day, one of his female friends turned up in hot pants, a crop top, and a necklace saying my husband’s name. then, she got extremely drunk and said to all of my family that my husband was her third favorite man after her dad and her brother (this was in front of her own husband) and that i didn’t deserve him. after i told him how awful this made me feel, my husband didn’t tell her to stop, but instead said how sweet it was and how grateful he was to have her in his life." buzzfeed staff "a year and a half later, we divorced, and i learned to tell people how i really feel."  lionpride0318 "cheers, mate… to free will!"  49, california "after work, i spent the entire afternoon dreading the evening to come. went through with it anyway. we didn't make it four years before she cheated."  50, usa  drlenajohnson "i saw pictures of him recently, and he's turned from a decently sharp looking guy to a neckbeard, hillbilly looking guy, and i'm glad i'm divorced. like, i tell everybody, it was the best 20 bucks i ever spent."  gentlebreeze1970 "i don't regret my marriage; i have two beautiful children, and he was a huge part of my growing up, but i'm glad i finally recognized and acted on the truth."  notaterriblehuman "again, i thought this is nerves, and he's stunned by my beautiful dress and the experience. there was no honeymoon, no ring wearing, and one year in, he began a years long affair with a coworker. looking back on that day, everything i misread and explained away haunts me. the worst part? everyone knew but me that day, and no one said a word. nothing."  38, texas  35, connecticut "after my escape, i went to therapy, and a few years later, i met my prince charming   the world’s most devoted and supportive husband. we have been together 10 years this summer."  robinc4a54635b9 "i should have annulled it. thirteen years (how apropos) later, i was left with two wonderful children and half my money; she brought nothing to the relationship except a car payment and no job."  61, oregon "it took me six years to get out of the marriage that he only wanted for show."  40, washington  34, washington "we divorced after a year and a half because he kept quitting his jobs and expecting me to pay for everything."  krnunley  64, new jersey "surprise, he turned out to be a control freak who never took no for an answer and developed a hobby of calling me a pos for not catering to his every whim. when we got divorced five years later, his own grandmother told me i deserved better."  sweetcuppincakes "i didn’t even spend time with my husband during the reception; i was too busy having fun with everyone else. but the real sign was after everything was over, he was throwing a tantrum because he didn’t want to keep the night going. we had all our friends and family in from other states and countries   it wasn’t even late! so, i just sat there watching him rant and rave, and i just kept thinking, 'this isn’t how it should feel.' and i was right."  35, nj "six months later, he comes to me saying we have made a terrible mistake and asking if i'd mind getting pregnant again. i gasped at the callousness of the question. he disregarded all our prior reasons   some having to do with my health   and the pain i felt knowing i had aborted my last real chance to have a child (my age). we were divorced within the year."  kilo  51, florida "if i didn't have such low self esteem, i would've ran the other way. it only got worse after we got married. please heed those red flags."  caffie "nothing i did was ever good enough for him. he was always trying to change me. he was a lying, cheating, alcoholic narcissist. he should come with a warning label."  jellise26 "spoiler alert: we are divorced."  katns23 "he had gotten four tattoos of ‘my name’ and even my face. since our divorce, he’s gotten two other women’s names tattooed on his body. i guess it’s prime real estate."  33, virginia "i walked away from my wedding alone, holding my daughter in my arms, with loud music blasting. it was all very much a window into the rest of my horrible, isolating, abusive ex marriage."  owenpamelac  44, minnesota "looking back now, i should have left and booked a flight home. things never got better. folks, do not ignore the red flags, and trust your gut. i'm about to embark on a hellscape journey with two kids under 3, and although i wouldn't trade my kids for the world, i wish i had never married their dad that day."  peanutt801 "the biggest omen, though, was right before we were set to leave on our honeymoon, we get a call that there was a major explosion at our hotel that killed four people. the hotel was still open, and if we changed or canceled, we would lose a lot of money, so we went and spent 10 days terrified and anxious because no one would tell us what was going on. we also fought because he wanted to go to town and find drugs. he got more and more emotionally abusive as the marriage went on, and i eventually divorced him. i'm out now and with a wonderful man, but looking back, i want to smack my younger self for being so oblivious."  kristivel  38, usa "after i told him how awful this made me feel, my husband didn’t tell her to stop, but instead said how sweet it was and how grateful he was to have her in his life. i look back now and realize that he wasn’t prepared to stand up for me both on our wedding day and in the rest of our relationship, and he has always put his toxic friends before me. we ended up splitting toward the end of last year, and i’m better off without him."  kimmybee  34, texas "we separated at the end of 2020, and i’m now happier than ever. i just had my first baby in june, and my child's father is my ex high school sweetheart…the same one that i realized i never stopped loving for all of those years."  39, canada "i was deluding myself for a long time, but i really knew in that moment i shouldn’t have gotten married. we are now divorced, and i realize i never deserved to be treated like that. you should be the only person your partner wants to be with on your wedding day."  33, new york note: some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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supported by field notes last call by 9 p.m. or sooner is becoming the new normal for some weddings. by perri ormont blumberg when betsy and gabriel martinez planned their wedding for april 23, 2023, at the cordelle, an event space in nashville, they envisioned an enchanted outdoor garden   with plenty of daylight. “we really wanted to be able to enjoy being outdoors in the spring,” said ms. martinez, 31, a nonprofit community outreach manager. “and then to have the rest of the night to decompress,” added mr. martinez, 30, who works in youth ministry. the couple wed on a sunday afternoon and hosted a rehearsal brunch the day before in lieu of a rehearsal dinner, which gave them more time with their guests, they said. “it doesn’t feel exhausting,” mr. martinez said. “everyone can get well rested.” daytime weddings and wedding related events tend to be more casual and intimate and, in some cases, less expensive and easier to book than those held at night. evening celebrations still remain popular, but some wedding industry experts are noticing a steady shift to daytime affairs. “it’s going to impact how we do weddings, event planning and how vendors are booked,” said meghan ely, the owner of ofd consulting, a public relations agency based in richmond, va., that focuses on the wedding industry. she also runs a global collective of more than 150 wedding professionals. ms. ely sees this early timeline preference more often for weddings that are part of weekend long events. “couples don’t necessarily want to go until midnight or 1 a.m. and still have to show up to say goodbye at brunch the next morning,” she said. “they’re going to want to pace themselves.”

a practical wedding: wedding planning, inspiration, and ideas wedding planning. minus the insanity, plus the marriage. effortlessly organize your dream wedding: mastering the art of creating a flawless wedding day timeline writing your day of wedding timeline can be a tad overwhelming… okay, maybe more than a tad. from our experience, it’s the thing that causes couples the most pause. because, i mean… sure, you’ve been a guest before, but you’ve maybe never been the one trying to schedule a day of magic and fun for you, your fiancé, and all your favorite humans. plus, every wedding is so different.