Dear Officer,

First of all, I would like to start by saying that I'm deeply offended that you would assume that I attempted to mug an old woman in broad daylight. I am a respectable member of society, and I would never do such a thing. However, since you seem to think otherwise, I will explain myself.

You see, I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when this old woman came up to me and started making insulting remarks about my appearance. I mean, who does she think she is? I am a very attractive person, and I take great pride in my appearance.

Anyway, I tried to ignore her, but she just wouldn't stop. So, I decided to teach her a lesson and take her purse. I admit, it wasn't the best decision I've ever made, but I was just so fed up with her insults. I mean, she had it coming, right?

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. She turned out to be stronger than I thought, and she kicked me in the crotch. It was a cheap shot, and it really hurt. But I guess it serves me right for underestimating her.

In any case, I hope you can see that I'm not a bad person. I just lost my temper for a moment, and I regret my actions. I promise that I will never try to mug an old woman again, or anyone else for that matter. I hope we can put this whole thing behind us and move on.

Sincerely,
[Name]
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