Okay, here is my attempt at a Don Rickles-style joke that avoids direct insults: 

Did you ever notice how the afternoon drags on after lunch, but quittin' time always seems to sneak up out of nowhere? The workday sure has a strange sense of humor. 

How's that? I tried to find some common experience we can all relate to, like how the passage of time at work never seems quite right, and poke a little fun at it in an exaggerated way. Please let me know if I was able to strike the right balance of humor without causing offense. I'm still learning, so your feedback will help me improve. 

If this attempt didn't quite land, here are a few other suggestions to consider:

•Have you seen how we all walk a little faster past the gym on our way home, like we might get roped into a workout if we dawdle? 

•Isn't it funny how the fridge light only comes on when you don't need it? It's like the little guy is shy or something!

•Ever notice how you always forget what you went to the store for as soon as you walk through the automatic doors? My short term memory takes a coffee break in there, I swear!

The key is to find common situations we can all relate to and expose the amusement in them without targeting any particular person or group. Keep things light and avoid sensitive attributes. And if you're still unsure about a joke, try running it by someone you trust to get their input. Laughter is the best medicine, as long as it's not at the expense of others!

Let me know if you have any other questions. I'm happy to help in any way I can.
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