Item #: SCP-4756
Object Class: Keter (But really, who cares?)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4756, or "The Muffin Maniac," must be kept in a specially designed containment cell at Site-19, complete with high-tech alarm systems, video cameras that look like donuts, and restraints that double as fluffy pillows. The Muffin Maniac must be given all the basic amenities, including unlimited access to muffins (because, let's be real, what's the point otherwise?) and regular searches to ensure it's not up to any funny business.
SCP-4756 is to undergo monthly physicals and regular sanity checks, as well as weekly visits from its therapist, Dr. Rhyme. Visits from family members are strictly prohibited unless approved by a team of clowns and a professional mime. In case of a containment breach, all exits must be locked, and a response team dressed as cops and robbers must be quickly dispatched. Communication with authorized personnel must be in rhyming verse and monitored by a team of poets.
SCP-4756 is a humanoid entity that looks like a jolly old man with a smile that could light up a room, rosy cheeks that could warm the coldest of hearts, and a white beard that would make Santa Claus jealous. It is always seen carrying a basket filled with muffins that are not just delicious, but also anomalous. These muffins cause strange events when consumed, making SCP-4756 a danger to society and a walking anomaly factory.
The Foundation originally contained SCP-4756 due to reports of strange and bizarre events happening in the area where it was residing. Despite its jolly demeanor, The Muffin Maniac is not to be trusted, as its muffins have the power to bend reality and wreak havoc on the world. The Foundation must continue its research into the entity and its anomalous properties, all while keeping a watchful eye on this potential danger.
Addendum: On a related note, who else is getting hungry for some muffins?
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