What if you threw a party and most of the people who would otherwise attend avoided it like a particularly virulent strain of syphilis had gone airborn in a ten-mile radius surrounding the National Mall? At this point, the festivities surrounding the inauguration of the United States  next Grand Wizard, Donald Trump, are shaping up to be a complete disaster that will be referenced in every non-Texas history book for generations to come.A minority of Americans and a broken system with a special helping hand from Vladimir Putin and James Comey may have barely  elected  Donald Trump President, but he remains the least popular person to step into the Oval Office since Osama bin Hitler took office in 1897 in an alternate timeline (that s right, we had to reach outside reality to find something to which we could compare Trump s  yuge  level of unpopularity).Trump may be bragging about the  record-setting turnout  he is expecting, but the truth is that he is crying on the inside. Officials are expecting 800,000 to 900,000 people to show up to see Trump being sworn in as our next President. On their own these numbers may seem impressive, but Obama s inauguration attracted double that   a whopping 1.8 million people showed up for him and as we all know, Trump desperately needs to feel like he has beaten Barack Obama at everything.Trump is so desperate that he has taken the rather interesting approach: shamelessly spending money to beg Americans to show up and adore him   well, people over the age of 27 who live in New York, anyway. F*ck the rest of you.imagine being so disliked that 4 days before your inauguration you start paying to send desperate FB ad invites to "person, 27+" pic.twitter.com/UQ0m4D7vg4  mah ree nah (@marinarachael) January 17, 2017? ? #Trump Is So Pathetic DesperateTo Fill His #Inauguration Seats He's Put An Ad On His #Facebook Page Inviting People @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/L9jChYlxdU  Marsha (@Whippenz) January 17, 2017Trump is paying $$$ to place a Facebook ad asking (begging) people (ages 27 + up) to attend his Swearing In Ceremony.Pathetic & So Sad . pic.twitter.com/MogbRNrmLj  J Reed (@EarthlingJR) January 17, 2017.@Facebook keeps serving me a video ad where Trump invites me to #Inauguration   but @TrumpInaugural website doesn't work. No "form below." pic.twitter.com/d4FLFaaEZd  Alex Howard (@digiphile) January 15, 2017How bad is it for Trump? Ticket scalpers are losing money on tickets to the event, which promises to be exactly as exciting as the average county fair (with matching entertainment). Trump has managed to snag obsolete one hit wonder pop band Three Doors Down and country artist who is known for showing up to concerts so drunk that he forgets the lyrics to his own songs. Other performances include a 16-year-old reality show contestant, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, a marching band from  Louisiana s most racist high school,  and whichever of the Rockettes decides to show up to this abortion of an event. Basically, if  I just got my Klan robes back from the drycleaner  is not a part of your vernacular, you re gonna have a bad time at this thing.Recently, Trump hate-tweeted the majority of Americans who are not OK with Russia hacking his political opponents on his behalf, calling them  stupid people  and  fools. And he wonders why no one wants to come to his Sweet 16.Featured image via Getty Images (Mark Wilson)/screengrab