Nobody can accuse King Cheeto, a.k.a. Donald Trump, of being classy, even as he expects a classiness from his rivals that he ll never possess. At a rally in Colorado Springs, he bitched and moaned about Hillary s speech, especially how she didn t congratulate him, her worthy opponent, for being so amazingly worthy.Seriously. We wish we were making this up. Unfortunately, with Trump, stories that sound like they should be from The Onion are actually true: I was curious to see whether she would do a class act and not mention my name or mention it with respect.I would like to congratulate my Republican opponent for having something that nobody has ever done in the history of politics in this nation. And I would like to congratulate my opponent for having gotten more votes than anybody in the history of the Republican Party in the primary season. Really? Did he congratulate her for making history as well, as the first woman to secure the nomination of a major political party? No, at least, not anywhere we can find it. He went on a Twitter rant against her instead, accusing her of having terrible judgment, creating ISIS, and continuing to call her  Crooked Hillary. And he expects her to congratulate him? Please.Hillary instead told the world that  A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons,  and gave us this warning:  Don t believe anyone who says  I alone can fix it.'  She also said other things about Trump that he no doubt thinks are completely inappropriate. As if to emphasize his bruised little feelings on her lack of accolades blown in his direction, he also said: I thought she might do something like that. I thought she d give me a big, fat, beautiful congratulations. If she did that, wouldn t that be cool? Wouldn t that be great? She s a woman and she owes him at least that much, apparently. It s more than he d ever give her. But then again, he s the king of the planet. Or his planet, anyway. We must all pay homage to him. And someday, we ll all be able to fly all the way to Mars by flapping our arms, too. Featured image by Joshua Lott/Getty Images