This is hysterical, but sadly it s not far-fetched at all!I took down my Rebel flag (which you can t buy on e-bay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.  I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on e-bay) and put it in the CENTER of the yard.  Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.I ve NEVER felt safer and I m saving $69.95 a month that ADT charged me.Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of way and security can t pat us down  Safe at last   only in USA!