My suppose-to-be father told me to go find my real dad. We haven't been getting along since I was a teenager. If I said one thing that he thought was wrong, I always got degraded. He never said I love you. He never gave us hugs. Hes always called me horrible names. I feel he's an evil man with no feelings.
My father has always been horrible to me
Hi Louisiana, You got it right...he's "supposed to be" your father. It's tough enough being adopted (unless I'm reading it wrong, I think you're adopted); what you don't need is to be verbally abused by someone who's supposed to love and protect you. I don't know how old you are (past teen years though), or where your mom is, but I bet there are other people in your life who treat you differently. It's your right to spend your time with the people who love you properly. That's a really important part of learning how to be happy...carefully choosing who's going to be in your life. It's tricky to put emotional distance between you and your supposed-to-be father, but it's possible...physical distance (avoid him if you don't trust you'll be treated with respect), and emotional distance (feeling less connected to and affected by his relationship disability). I think you're already doing that part because you don't blame yourself for his words, which is wonderful. I don't know if he's evil (although I believe evil exists), but he may be incapable of loving properly, or lacking empathy, as you suggest.A good therapist can support you in these goals. I wish you the best in your growth as an independent adult. :)