A lot of times, I avoid situations where I am to meet new people because I have a fear of embarrassing myself. I often avoid large groups of people, like parties, because I think they all constantly judge me.
How can I get over my fear of public embarrassment?
When I talk with clients about social anxiety sometimes I'll ask them what they would do if their anxiety was manageable. Would you want to be more social? Would that improve you quality of relationships in your life? These answers can clarify what you want your life to look like and how much socialization you are truly interested in.It's normal to have thoughts and fears about what others are thinking of us, otherwise we'd be pretty shameless in our behavior!Even though we feel as though we are in the spotlight, the truth is that most people are not focused on us. There's hundreds of thousands of stimuli the brain processes (especially at a party!) and you are a very small percentage of that. Think about it this way--if you are at a party with a bunch of other people, why would you be in "center stage" vs anyone else at that party? When people are worried about embarrassment or judgment, they typically act in ways to be less visible in public. Chances are, people notice you less than they notice others simply because of avoidance behaviors.I don't think it's needed to attend every social event because who has the energy for that?! But pushing yourself to engage can teach your brain that you can push yourself through these events. The more you avoid, the more your brain will because the situation is something to fear. If you can, stick with someone you trust or connect to. That could help you to enjoy the experience more and frame it somewhat positively.If you really struggle on your own, you could visit a counselor and work on some strategies that fit for you.