Is it normal for married men to fantasize about having oral sex with men?
Hello, and thank you for your question. Everyone fantasizes about something. In relationships, it is absolutely normal to have fantasies of a sexual natureabout other people, whether they are real or imaginary. This could certainly include fantasies about people of the same gender. Marriage doesn't stop us from fantasizing, but it may stop us from acting on our fantasies if we are in a monogamous relationship. It seems to me that you may be wondering if having these fantasies says something about someone's sexual orientation. It may or may not. One thing that is important to think about is that there is a lot more variety in people's sexual interests than what we generally learn about in society. We mostly talk about lesbian, straight, gay,bisexual, orqueer folks, but there are actually many other interests than those. Some people are attracted to some men and women, and yet they are married to one partner and remain committed and monogamous in that relationship. They may still fantasize, however. Other people are simply curious and are aroused by the thought of someone of the same gender, but they have no plan to explore the interest. There aremany possibilities, and that could include the possibility of being gay or bisexual. So, is it normal? Yes. Not every married man has these fantasies, obviously, but some surely do. Where there may be a problem is if the person is actually struggling with their sexual orientation, and the fantasies are about more than just curiosity and arousal. If that is the case, then the person may need help sorting through feelings that mayconfuse them. Hope this was helpful.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC NCC