I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?
How can I learn to be content and at peace?
It sounds to me like you would benefit from mindfulness practice and self-compassion practice.What is mindfulness?Mindfulness, in short, is the practice of bringing a non-judgmental awareness to the present moment. This meditative tradition stems from Buddhism and was brought to the West by Zen teachers who made them more accessible for Westerners.If youve ever taken a yoga class or played a guided meditation wherein you were encouraged to focus on your breath without changing it, feel the sensations on your skin and bring awareness to tension in your body, youve practiced mindfulness.What is self-compassion?We often hear about self-esteem as something we need to increase for optimal mental health. The problem with self-esteem is that it ebbs and flows based on external factors such as if you have a good job or if you have a romantic relationship.A much better place to put your energy into is developing self-compassion, which is being kind to yourself no matter what your circumstances look like. Over time, self-compassion acts as the building blocks for self-love, which no one or nothing can take away from you.Why develop these practices?When you can practice mindfulness and self-compassion in tandem, then you bring more acceptance and understanding to your life circumstances instead of judging yourself for not having the perfect life.I hope this is helpful and I wish you all the best. If youre interested in this type of approach a holistic therapist can help you learn these tools and put them into daily practice.