I've been hurt by a man for five years. He doesn't involve me with the family or kids. Everyone in the family is against me. There is a Mass today for a family member, and he never asked me to go. I'm to sit home alone now and Christmas too. He expects me to sit alone while he enjoys being with the family. We are in our 50s, and it hurts that he won't even think of me or involve me as part of the family. He doesn't even care. I am leaving him as soon as possible, but I hurt so bad that I didn't know who to turn too. I'm now in this low funk of depression, and I'm scared because I do stupid things to myself and give up. I have no friends because I was a truck driver. I've been getting serious headaches and can't sleep. I don't eat; I've lost my appetite. This has been going on for a couple weeks now.
Hi Florida,I get the sense that, aside from this relationship, you're quite isolated in general. It's sad that you're feeling excluded at Christmastime and family events. While I would suggest that you don't really know what he or his family are thinking or feeling (you assume they're against you, and that he doesn't care), he is certainly behaving in a very distant, excluding manner and it's understandable that you would feel rejected and hurt.How long has this part been happening? Has he always acted this way, or is it more recent? Did something happen recently? You mentioned doing "stupid things to yourself", and I don't know what that means. If you are engaging in self-harm he may be confused about what to do and he might need some time to think and be separate but is having trouble talking about this. Part of the problem, of course, is that you don't know what's going on for him. Certainly, you deserve the truth, and if he doesn't want to spend time with you, I would hope he would be honest. Have you been open to hearing the truth from him? Is there any reason for him to hesitate to tell you why he's being distant? Maybe you could ask him, if you are ready to hear.I'm glad to hear that you believe that you deserve a full, loving relationship, although it seems that moving forward might be difficult for you. Is it possible your happiness is a bit too dependant on this man? I'm just guessing, based on what you've said here.It seems that it's possible your situation has led to some depression, and I would recommend a session with a qualified therapist to help you sort this out. You will need support, even if the relationship is repaired. Best of luck.