Why won't my boyfriend have sex with me?
Hello, and thank you for your question. I am not sure that we can be much help since we know very little about your situation. For example, we don't know how old you are or if you have previously had asatisfying sex life. So, I will just name a few things that can impact someone's interest in sex, and some colleagues may add others. There are quite a few things that can actually lead to disinterest or inability to have sex. Things such as depression, illness, anxiety/stress, substance or alcohol abuse, andrelationship dissatisfaction are just a few reasons. I work in a medical setting, and you might be surprised by how many male patientshavesome kind of erectile dysfunction occurrenceeven in their 20s. The best way to find out why he won't have sex is simply to ask. Guessing will likely not bring you tothe actual truth, and if you are dissatisfied about your sex life, it is likely not to get better without take some kind of action step. I suggest approaching your partner with compassion and concern. He may also be aware that there is a problem and is afraid or embarrassed to talk to you about it. If you do end up communicating, you have some options to explore. He may want to see his primary care provider if he believes it may be a health issue. A vicious circle can develop about this topic. A person has difficulty with sex for some reason, which generates anxiety, which can actually lead to more difficulty with sex.Counseling can be helpful. Some couples trysomething called the Sensate Focus Method. You can look it up online. I am not suggesting it or indicating it will help, but some people have said it is helpful.Good luck and be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC