I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.
Staying present is an attitude most of us aspire to, and most of us have to work at itcertainly at first. Im here to tell you that living in the now or being mindful is a skill anyone can learn. Unfortunately, the only way to do it is to do it. What a paradox! But there are plenty of other skills that we are not born with: walking on stilts, riding a bike, swimming, and driving a car are good examples. You cant learn them by reading about them.Having said that, I can recommend two books on the subject: Eckhart Tolles The Power of Now and David Richos When the Past is Present. Richo asks that we dont beat ourselves up about dwelling on past events. This is natures way of reminding us that we have unfinished business. But while we are attended to the wounds and confusion that litter our earlier lives, we can prepare to inhabit the expanded present that awaits us.He offers three helpful steps to making any important life change:Step One: Hold in awareness the behavior, belief, attitude, or characteristic you want to change in yourself and how you want to be different. Awareness is the opposite of distraction and stuffing.Step Two: Live as if you have already made the change. (This is hard and takes courage, but you can do it. Ride that bikeeven if for a foot or two.)Step Three: Be persistent. (Practice, practice, practice.)Just as two-year-olds are able to walk confidently after hundreds of hours of practice, youll be able to stay in the here and now as long as you want after trying and failing many, many times.