What Is Romance? What Makes Hooking Up and Hanging Out Different Than a Relationship?

If Labels Are for Organization, Then I Guess I’m a Bit of a Mess

“So what are you looking for? Something casual? Dating? A relationship? Something romantic?” she asks me.

And it takes me a long time to formulate an answer to the question. Not because I’m not interested. And not because I don’t care about her.  » Read more

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{"cc_re__cc_re__cc_by_2_0": ["s</a>\n\t\t</div>\n\t\n\t\t\t<div class=\"entry-featured\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https://poly.land/2018/03/19/you-did-break-my-heart-but-it-was-worth-it/\">\n\t\t\t\t<figure><img width=\"665\" height=\"435\" src=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/sunset-behind-trees-665x435.jpg\" class=\"attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"a sun setting behind a bunch of leafless trees\" itemprop=\"image\" /><figcaption><a href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/fdecomite/8255282806/\">Image</a> by fdecomite / <a href=\"https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/\">CC BY</a></figcaption></figure>\t\t\t</a>\n\t\t</div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"entry-content\" itemprop=\"text\">\n\t\t<p>A few months ago, I fell in love with a new woman. I wrote about our first kiss in a piece called &#8220;<a href=\"https://poly.land/2018/01/05/odds-youll-break-heart-worth/\">Odds Are You&#8217;ll Break My Heart, But It&#8217;s Worth It</a>.&#8221;</p>\n<p>I&#8217;m usually fairly neurotic when I get into new relationships. Wondering if I&#8217;m doing the right thing by opening myself up to a new p", "atisfied.jpg\" class=\"attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"a small red clay slug sculpture positioned next to a chocolate bar with a small bite out of the corner\" itemprop=\"image\" srcset=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/satisfied.jpg 500w, https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/satisfied-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" /><figcaption><a href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/31878512@N06/4080165623/\">Image</a> by Neal Fowler / <a href=\"https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/\">CC BY</a></figcaption></figure>\t\t\t</a>\n\t\t</div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"entry-content\" itemprop=\"text\">\n\t\t<p>Suddenly Polysaturated</p>\n<p>polysaturation (noun) &#8211; when a polyamorous person has as many significant others as they think they can handle at a given time</p>\n<p>*</p>\n<p>As I write this piece, I have three partners: There is of course my husband Justin Case. I&#8217;ve been with him for 6 years, and we were close friends for about a year prior to that.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href=\"https://poly.lan", "500\" height=\"333\" src=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/wine-glass.jpg\" class=\"attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"a closeup photo of red wine in a glass\" itemprop=\"image\" srcset=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/wine-glass.jpg 500w, https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/wine-glass-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" /><figcaption><a href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/etwood/2874891036/\">Image</a> by Evan Wood / <a href=\"https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/\">CC BY</a></figcaption></figure>\t\t\t</a>\n\t\t</div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"entry-content\" itemprop=\"text\">\n\t\t<p>Mamihlapinatapai: (noun) A look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin.</p>\n<p>*</p>\n<p>I know I shouldn&#8217;t stare, but I can&#8217;t stop looking at her.</p>\n<p>I want to cup the slope of her neck in my hand,&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href=\"https://poly.land/2018/01/05/odds-youll-break-heart-worth/\">&raquo;&nbsp;Re", "<img width=\"500\" height=\"377\" src=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/label-maker.jpg\" class=\"attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"a silver label maker\" itemprop=\"image\" srcset=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/label-maker.jpg 500w, https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/label-maker-300x226.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" /><figcaption><a href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/jamiesrabbits/3759243199/\">Image</a> by Jamie / <a href=\"https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/\">CC BY</a></figcaption></figure>\t\t\t</a>\n\t\t</div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"entry-content\" itemprop=\"text\">\n\t\t<p>If Labels Are for Organization, Then I Guess I&#8217;m a Bit of a Mess</p>\n<p>&#8220;So what are you looking for? Something casual? Dating? A relationship? Something romantic?&#8221; she asks me.</p>\n<p>And it takes me a long time to formulate an answer to the question. Not because I&#8217;m not interested. And not because I don&#8217;t care about her.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href=\"https://poly.land/2018/01", "/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/lesbian-sidewalk.jpg\" class=\"attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"two interlinked woman symbols carved into a sidewalk\" itemprop=\"image\" srcset=\"https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/lesbian-sidewalk.jpg 500w, https://poly.land/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/lesbian-sidewalk-300x203.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" /><figcaption><a href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/carbonnyc/4520976159/\">Image</a> by David Goehring / <a href=\"https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/\">CC BY</a></figcaption></figure>\t\t\t</a>\n\t\t</div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"entry-content\" itemprop=\"text\">\n\t\t<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve definitely had attractions to other women,&#8221; she says. &#8220;Had sex with them, sure. But I&#8217;ve never really\u00a0<em>dated\u00a0</em>one.&#8221;</p>\n<p>I grip my coffee cup in my hands more tightly, feeling the warmth of the drink spread through my fingers. I idly think that she&#8217;d be a good girlfriend. She&#8217;s pretty,&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href=\"https://poly.land/2017/12/20"], "copyright__copyright__copyright": ["What Is Romance? What Makes Hooking Up and Hanging Out Different Than a Relationship?\n\nIf Labels Are for Organization, Then I Guess I\u2019m a Bit of a Mess\n\n\u201cSo what are you looking for? Something casual? Dating? A relationship? Something romantic?\u201d she asks me.\n\nAnd it takes me a long time to formulate an answer to the question. Not because I\u2019m not interested. And not because I don\u2019t care about her.\u00a0\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0Read more\n\nContinue Reading"]}