KODIAK .
DIARY...
Vital statistics are always in
teresting ; some of the non-vital
ones even more so. To the latter
we wish to record the latest fig
ures on the number of habitual
drunkards in Kodiak.
The figure is 33 Two are fe
males, the rest males. The fig
ures were compiled by the police
and the names have been pre
sented to the various tais aDd
liquor stores in connection with
enforcement of the law that pro
vides that liquor shall not be
sold to habitual drunkards.
Police .promise strict enforce
ment of the law, which provides
a penalty of not more than 1
year and a line of not more than
$500.
The names are none of your
business, or mine.
But we want it understood
that one vague aipellation that
appears thereon, specifically,
“Shaky Bill”, refers to no one
we know
Although it may be accurate
otherwise—descriptively.
Later flash: Kodiak’s habitual
drunkard population has drop
ped to nil. The blacklist has
been withdrawn. Reason: Dis
agreement in official circles over
certain names on the list.
Question to be solved now:
When does an habitual drinker
l>ecome, for such purposes, a
habitual drunkard?
The following is culled from
Photoplay magazine:
“Seems certain Victory and
actor’s committees are scowling
even more ferociously in the di
rection of that male star (and
close friend of Clark Gable's)
for his lack of co-operation. We
report only what we’ve been
told from headquarters, but it
seems the star insisted the 'ea-'
son he didn’t tour the camps was
because he wanted overseas
duty. So they gave it to him.
First he held out fora 1A pri
ority plane reservation He was
n’t going to be put off for any
officer, soldier or even general.
So they got it for him He head
ed for Alaska. He got as far as
Seattle and for three weeks there
he stayed. Nothing happened
until one day he was back in
Hollywood There was no tour
and no comments ..
“Maybe by this time, how
ever, things have been brought
to a climax and the actor’s
troubles have been ironed out
satisfactorily. But do you think
Keep Off The Grass.
Willie D. Gaiser, pharmacist’s mate, second class, USN, 28,
Tyler, Texas, holds consultation from an easy chair at a Pacific
Base where Marine veterans of the Tarawa campaign are resting.
Note the cactus plant and empty beer cans, their top painted red,
decorating the “front lawn’’.
Hollywood will ever forget?”
Kodiak ain’t a-forgettin’
either And when next we hear
Spencer Tracy (oops, we gave
it away!) is coming here we’ll
see that his arrival will not make
our front page as the last ex
peeled one did.
Which will hurt Mr. Tracy
more than it will us, remarks to
the contrary notwithstanding.
A woman in our town this
week was required to visit an
\rmy office and the business of
aer call required that she fill out
a blank The soldier in charge
asked her the questions on the
form:
“Where were your parents
born?” he asked first
* In Iceland”, she answered.
“What does that make them?”
he asked
“Icelanders”, she replied.
‘ How do you spell it?” he
countered.
“Where were you born?” came
next.
‘ Saskatchewan province, Can
ada”, she informed him
She told him how to spell Sas
katchewan and after it she no
ticed he wrote “Canada, CJ. S A.”
She called his attention to it
‘ Isn’t Canada in the United
States?” he asked seriously.
“Why no”, the woman re
plied.
“It isn't in Mexico, then, is
it?” he asked.
Anoi her soldier in the office,
overhearing, spoke up ‘‘Don’t
you know Canada belongs to
Great Britain?” he asked of the
soldier having the trouble,
“Oh”, said the other soldier,
now that it was clear to him,
‘ then I should pur, down ‘‘Can
ada, Great Britain”. ,
This is the sad story of a
worker in Kodiak who got leave
of absence to visit his w7ife in
Tennessee. He decided not to let
her know he was coming so he
could surprise her.
When he arrived at his home
he went tu the door and knock
ed on it. His wife answered. She
eyed him very coldly, he said.
‘‘What do you want?” she
asked.
■‘What do you think I want?”
he said banteringly.
‘ If you don’t state your busi
ness” she said threateningly,
"I’ll ...”
You see, she didn’t recognize
her own husband. It was Silmon
Spencer, employe of the A. Beck
ett company, who was known
here for his heavy black beard.
Only she hadn't seen him with
the beard before.
Mrs. Spencer made him shave
it off and now Mrs. Spencer has
nothing on us. Mr. Spencer has
just returned and we didn’t
know him, either.
Moral: Never shoot what’s be
hind the brush—it might be
human
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