“WIRE FLASHES” AND “LATEST TICKER TAPS” GIVE THE NEWS IN TABLET FORM
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EVERYTHING THAT IS
WANTED IN A DRUG STORE
ANY QUANTITY -PRICES RIGHT
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S1 PRESCRIPTION DRUGGISTS
1tuhseTt4" FAIRBANKS, ALASKA
PHONE 13 3
KNOWN THROUGHOUT ALASKA
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THE SOCIAL CENTER
of the City is the
Tanana Bar
They All Go There
MICKY WOODS, Host *
^JLOJLO.JULOJLSLSLOJULSLBJLfi_2JL^
g
I RODMAN
I EGGS
150 GENTS
| Guaranteed Absolutely
< First-class
Not Sold in Case Lots
RODMAN
r~POSTKKOCKER~l
—
Paying in advance for six months sub
i scription, Dr. Wertenbaker .gave the
News force two cigars, one for the busi
ness office and the other for the com
posing room. We managed to smoke
; ours after several attempts. The doctor
: said he intended digging a well next
spring. He was advised to leave the
well alone and tend to the sick.
The signal corps has a silver-tongued
orator. He says his name is Clarence
i Lucifer George. The boys call him the
! goat. Frequently he can be heard bel
I lowing, a la Patrick Henry, “Give me
liberty or give me breath.” Pat got
both. 1 hen again the spread eagle can
be heard whimpering, “Et tu, Brute et
tu.”
“Et two, et two?” impatiently yells
Sergt. Horn, “why the blooming lio
inan-nose et anything lie got ahold of.”
The sad strains of Mitchell tooting “I
dreamt J dwelt in Overalls” are wafted
down the stovepipe of the telegraph
office. Groans all around.
Reference to who has paid his sub
scription has aroused widespread criti
cism especially from Rowe, the near
wireless man. We did not intend to
insinuate others had not paid. We
merely hoped they would.
Roy, McGinnis and Nordstrum gave a
tamale party Monday night. Those
present still feel the tamales.
Privs. Bradley, Pinkey and another
brought back G tons of fish from their
trip. They consisted of sunfisli, crop
pies, black bass, suckers, redhorse, pick
erel, sheepshead, dogfish, catfish, shi
ners, sharks and bullheads. Oh you,
boyhood days.
Did you save that dollar?
Catholic Church
Every Sunday, muxs and sermon at 10:30
a. m. At 7:30 p. m. special service for the
aoldiers. Short instruction and benediction
of the Bl. Sacrament.
AH are cordially invited.
H. FERRON, S.J., Pastor.
St. James’ Mission
Sunday school 3:30 p. m. Evening service
7:30 p. m. until further notice.
DR. LOOMIS, !
Lay Reader in Charge. ;
YOUJNOW MISHAWAKA
Ball Band Rubber Packs and Boots are the Best
I
We carry a full line of Everything
NORTHERN COMMERCIAL COJ
GOLDEN NORTH CAFE
Open Day and Night. «
Short Orders_ Best of Service «
GOLDEN NORTH HTEEL |
Has the Warmest and Coziest Rooms in Tanana 3
ED Y. LEE, PROPRIETOR 3
OH, GIRLS! SEE
BEN IS BALD
Our Fisherman Seeding Fall Crop
for May Delivery.
Oh gills! Look who’s here. It’s Ben
the fisherman.
See, he’s taking off his cap. Why
lie’s bald. Xo not quite. A narrow
fringe circles his handsome head just
above the horizon. It looks like the
halo of the setting sun.
W hat’s that on his head? Oh see it's
a long hair, Some day lie’ll need a
haircut. He has it carefully combed
and brushed so it shows up just too
cute for anything.
Beginning at two degrees west of the
lobe of his left ear, it rises directly up
ward to the zenith, following the con
tours of his physiognomy. It skirts the
bump of wisdom to the east and then
turning due south ends abruptly near
the orifice of his right ear—a distance
altogether of four feet, more or less.
What are those stray blades of grass
waving in the wind just back of the 45th
meridian of Ben’s skating rink? Those
are hairs too. Will they grow? Ben
thinks so.
Here conies someone else. It’s Jack
Cavanaugh, lie won’t take off his hat.
Let’s pull it off. To be sure he looks
just like Ben’s brother from the top.
Have you seen Jack O’Brien? No,
but there goes George Bemis. They’re
all going to the moving picture show at
the new A. B. hall. Four old bachelors
—to sit in the bald-headed row. Any
one else? Wait till the show and see.
Latest Report.
George Bemis had a dream last night.
He dreamed he was dead and that the
undertaker had an awful time making
the wig Geo. wore stay flat down on his
head. It made the undertaker nervous
to suddenly see the hair pop up from
the top of the head, so he called to a
womand asked, “Have you any glue?”
“No, but I’ll run and get some.” Fi
nally she returned and said, “Here’s
the glue, sir.”
“Oh well, never mind it. now, my dear
lady. I’ve nailed it down.”
PROSPECTORS. ATTENTION.-Jack Cav
anaugh has all kinds of secotid-huud mining
tools in tirut-class condition.
STAMPEDE FOR
LINK SAUSAGE
A big stampede of prospectors occurred
last Sunday to Wing’s Xanana restaurant
to get in on the “link” sausage Jack
Nelson was dishing out as part of the
excellent hill of fare.
Several got into an argument whether
there was a “y” and an “x” in “link ”
Just then Jimmie Barker came in and
said he missed his leader dog. He
looked Nelson straight in the eye. Jack
had to laugh. That settled it.
“I’ll take it out in meals,” Barker
said, as a parting fling,” slamming the
door as he left the place.
Heinze On Trial.
Washington, Nov. 2.—The government
case against F. Augustus Heinze, Mon
tana copper king, is up before the U. S.
Bupreme court. He is accused of wreck
ing the Mercan. Nat. bank, N. Y., in the
1907 panic._
Let Jack Cavanaugh supply you with water
and ice. Prompt service. Water the best in
the country.
Latest Ticker Taps
Battleships sail from Norfolk to join
Atlantic cruise.
Gen. Grant says aeroplanes are harm
less in battle.
!
Ballinger ap]>oints Ashmun Brown, of
the Seattle P.-I., his private secretary.
Dr. Cook cables from England con
gratulating Wellman.
Ken. Dolliver, la., left an estate of
$87,000.
Delegate Wickersham arrives in Se
1 attle from Frisco. Arctic club gives him
j and Congdon, of Dawson, a smoker.
Secretary Meyer wants more and
heavier battleships.
Lord Morley resigns as viceroy of
j India.
Bryan declares lie’s a regular na
' tional, hut opposes Dahlinan as gov
| ernor of Nebraska.
Peary assigned as engineer expert of
the department of justice.
Judge Cushman speaks at Tacoma in
behalf of the G (). P. candidates for
congress. The j democrats wire Taft,
protesting.
Teddy refuses to state if he will be a
presidential candidate. Kjieaks at Chi
cago.
American hankers likely to loan China
$.'>0,ooo,000.
Regulate your watches with the time
kept by George Bemis. It is always
correct.
TANANA PERSONALS.
J. Dyroff has three rare coins kept
since his boyhood back in Germany.
One, is a shilling issued by the Ham
burg Free state in 1728; the second a
Danish shilling dated 1629 when Den
mark was still part of Norway. The
third is a Prussian “Thaler” of Freder
ick the Great’s time. Coin cranks have
offered Mr. Dyroff large sums for the
three, but he refuses to part with them.
Hughey Burns started down river last
week with Frank Miller of the Miners
Home, who was returning to the Idita
rod, where he has a saloon. Mr. Miller
was on the Martha Clow.
Capt. Geo. Green of the Koyukuk
passed through town this week on his
way to the Iditarod.
“Happy” Jack Felix is in from the
Koyukuk on his way outside.
That man who promised to scrub out
the town pump barrels should get busy,
says Cavanaugh.
Jack Honeywell is now helping out at
the Grand.
Micky Woods lost 45 pounds polishing
the A. B. hull floor with a flatiron at
tached to the end of a broomstick.
Joe Anicich wants to kill his cow, but
hates to. She is only giving three quarts
milk a day. Joe’s chickens have made
up some of the sleep they lost when it
was daylight all night.
TEELAND INQUIRES
FOR GIN PHIZZ
John Teeland recently wired Police
Chief Conway, Fairbanks, asking if his
dog “Gin Pliizz” was in the pound. The
chief wired back:
“Dogs when going to pound do not
register. Can locate Scotch high ball,
but no Gin Phizz.”