L
DlPPYDILLS
SIMIAN DIPP,
In Denver Pos
Once there was a nice little Fat Pound
of Butter which had a very Aesthetic
and Sensitive Nature. It was as sweet
and as pure as the dear little Colum
bines that wafted a Holy Fragrance in
all directions around its happy home
near Fort Lupton, Colorado. Notwith
standing its Aesthetic and Sensative
nature, it possessed a certain amount of
Conceit which prompted it to take a
Trip out into the Plebiantistic World.
So it pursuaded a Sweet-faced Old Lady
of the Neighborhood to fix it up and
send it to Omaha, Nebraska.
Without any Marring Incidents the
Nice little Fat Pound of Butter arrived
at its destination with its Aesthetic
and Sensitive Nature wholly Intact. Its
first stopping place in the aforesaid
Omaha was in a neat little Grocery
Store run by a good natured German
who formerly lived in Hanover, Kansas.
The trip acioss country having been a
little bit Warm, the Nice little Fat
Pound of Butter with the Aesthetic and
Sensitive Nature was delighted to find a
cool resting place in a Big Refrigerator.
But its sojourn there wasn’t for long.
The Grocer’s Red-headed Delivery Boy
grabbed the Poor Little Thing and
chucked it into a big rough Box which
contained Articles of Different Natures
which he intended to deliver to his cus
tomers living in the Stockyards District.
Among these Articles were some Strong
and Healthy Onions which had been
Raised near Fairfield, Iowa, and a large
Chunk of Limburger Cheese which had
just arrived the day before from Mil
waukee. The Nice little Fat Pound of
Butter suffered Something Awful in this
Uncouth Company. But the Worst is
yet to be Told. It seems as though the
Ladies’ Mite Society were going to have
a Donation Party for the Preacher that
evening, and would you believe it—all
of these Common Articles which were so
Offensive to the One with the Aesthetic
and Sensitive Nature found their way to
the center of a big table in the Parson
ane—and the Nice little Fat Pound of
Butter was laid there, too! * * *
That evening, after the Company had
departed and left a lot of ice cream and
cake Dishes for the Preacher’s Wife to
Wash, her little Freckled-face Girl
picked up the Nice little Fat Pound of
Butter and Smelled of it—just like that.
“Oh, Maw,” she cried, “this stuff
Stinks.”
I
I
Sure enough. The Whole Family
tasted it in order to make Sure that
their Sense of Smell did not Deceive
them. The Strong Odor emitting from
the Onions and the Cheese had perme
ated to the Very Heart of the Poor
Little Thing with the Aesthetic and
Sensitive Nature. And Then, amid the
Vain Regrets of the Preacher’s Family,
the Nice little Fat Pound of Butter was
gingerly taken by the Freckled-face
Girl and Doused into the Garbage Can.
The Moral of this story is that if you
are Possessed of an Aesthetic and Sensi
tive Nature you stand a dampoor Show
of having your name remain long on
the Pay Roll.
j A little girl, with an inquiring mind
! stood at her mother’s knee and from the
expression of her face was evidently
I evolving some particularly knotty prob
| lem.
“What is it, Jenny?” asked the
^ mother.
“Mamma,” said the chtld seriously,
, “if I grow up and marry, shall I have a
husband like papa ?”
As in duty bound, no matter what her
personal opinions were, she had, like a
dutiful wife to say, “Yes, dear, I hope
so.”
There was a long pause. Then the
j youngster asked :
“And if I don’t marry, shall I grow
1 up to be like Aunt Susan ?”
j Again the answer was, “I hope so.”
Then the little gfrl put up her hands
; to her head and said in a tone of dis
pair, “Well, I am in a fix !”
PUBLIC NOTICE
_
All persons are hereby warned that
the Indians of the Mission have held a
; puelic meeting and thereby determined
| to use every effort to stop the practice
| of white men giving or selling liquor to
[ their members.
| All persons are hereby warned that
the Indians have agreed to inform upon
anyone giving or selling liquor to them
and to appear in court and testify
against same when called upon.
Signed—Alexander Williams, Chief,
COUNCIL
Joe Roberts Little Luke
Henry Evan Jacob Starr
Silas Williams Liege Sport
A CHILD’S IRON BED—ONE SIDE
Drop. With wool and feather mat
tresses. For Sale. Inquire, Northern.
Episcopal Church
Sunday school at. St. James chappel
every Sunday at 12 o’clock.
NOTICE
The partnership hitherto existing
between the undersigned and A. Pink
iert has been dissolved. All debts due
by the late firm will be paid by me,
and any accounts due to said firm will
be received by me.
J. RUSSELL WALLE.
Tanana, June 10, 1012.
Wanted—Information as to the where
abouts of Jacob Crowl; 70 years of
age,, small in size, scar on nose, when
last heard from was working on claim
No. 3 1-2 Ophir creek, Council City,
Alaska, in 1909.
Write to S. II. Cummins, Springfield,
Illinois. 17-4t
^iLOJLSLQ..SJL3_2JL2 JULSL2JL2.
L. R. GILLETTE
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
Notary Fublie
lack’s Hotel - Tanana
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DR. C- W. WHARTON
ROOM 2 - - GRAND HOTEL
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PACIFIC COLD STORAGE
Wholesale and Retail
Dealers In the Best Meat
Legal Blanks of All kinds For Sale
-At the News Office
CLOSES AT 9 1\ M. SMART
GOLDEN NORTH CAFE
“The Best tlie Market Affords,
Prepared In the Best Way.”
Short Orders Best of Service
ED Y. LEE, PROPRIETOR
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Tanana Steam Laundry
Greenwood Bros., Proprietors
.. All Work Strictly First Class...
Post Laundry Building Second Ave.