The NeWS brings the happenings of the whole world to your door ({YCPy Week
CHAMPIONS TO FIGHT
THANKSGIVING NIGHT
Co. L is wild with excitement. But-1
tling May is matched to fight Kid
Foster, Thanksgiving night.
The Battling says be sure to say “Kid i
Myers.” That’s his nom de plume.
Some say “alias.”
Myers is training hard. He runs 8
miles before breakfast. His diet con- j
sists of Szilagyimnzry hot cakes, Zuber
dishwater and Nelson & Smith dough.
If he survives that, he’s a winner. He
weighs himself hourly, tipping Kinzer’s i
apothicated scales, which go strong, at ;
11 OH.
Manager Perley is patiently trying to
raise the $50 purse. Thus far he’s se
cured $1.00 in cash, four pennies and a
pants button.
Father Higgins, the trainer, is wear
ing a rat cage for a mask to protect that
little black mustache from total decima
tion, for the Battling viciously jerks it
at times.
Seconds on the Lookout.
15ak!y Korinc, the bird, whose wing is
now out of whack; Ik'.e Allaboo and
Lydia Pinkham Perunna, the favoiite
prescription, are storing away scraps of
malt and lemon rind for the rub down.
Washerwoman Leach is busy limber- ’
ing up bath towels and bed sheets to be
used as fans when Battling faints.
Willy Hawkins is extracting beer
checks and canteen tickets out of pock
ets, training to get his mitts on the gate
receipts.
Gentleman “Red” Flanagan is waiting
for someone to ask his opinion of the i
relative merits of the giants, while
Bandy Legs Segers is ready to jump in
with both feet and prv Foster off. He’s
practicing the hammerloek on Van
Syckle’s left ear
Peterson says he will throw up the
sponge when the Battling gets chicken
hearted.
Barksdale Looms Up.
Capt. Barksdale has been chosen press
dopster. lie will issue semi-frequent
bulletins, giving Myers’ contemptible
opinion of the Kid.
Priv. Rush is pumhingout Battling’s
bibliography on an adding machine of
“llovv I got that Bump On My Nose at
Long Acre, N. Y.”
Shorty liinckl.y is lobbying for the
moving picture privileges, scattering
Micky Woods’ tabs ($8 limit) among
the boys and a big society scandal is
feared.
Elliott, to make them come through,
is framing up a general order prohibit
ing the showing of the pictures at
Kokrines.
Race Riots Possible-.
Pumper Pfeiffer is chopping the ice
out of the hose to be directed on the
cannons in case race riots ensue.
Sam Lee, the laundrynian, and Joe
Oats, the village Smithy, are making
strong bids for the light. In case Lieut.
Kingman gets ugly because lie’s refused
a pass to the ringside, the deadheads
have arranged to go over the line and
pull the match off in John Keiioe’s
woodshed.
The ticker artists are ready to flash
the news, round by round, to Old Wo
man and the Rapids.
The News will issue pink extras after
every knockout (about seven in all).
Eight extras will be printed two weeks
previous to the match, so the paper will
be oat on the street 20 minutes before
the tight ends, no matter whether the
frameup holds or not. If either should
get in a blow, all eight will be rushed to
the Tower House and Yukon saloons for
the eager tinhorns who didn’t have the
price of admission.
In case the timekeepers, the Bradley
twins, get into a light, the News will
flash the word on one of Tiffany’s bird
kites suspended 2,000 feet above the jail.
Tickets are now selling at two Hits per
at Ellegood’s butcher shop, Reilly’s
wood yard and Cavanaugh’s second
hand store.
Send Christmas presents of jewelry to
your friends outside. George Bemis pre
pays the postage and guarantees delivery
of goods sent by mail. See Bemis.
GOOD GROUND
FOR LOCATING
“Red” Allen Says Grant Creek Out
look is Bright.
A great deal of ground on Grant
creek, Gold Mountain district, will be
open for relocation Jan. 1, says Jay
Allen, known as “Red,” in town last
week.
“Red” says the country has never
been well prospected, as the association
evil has tied up the ground. As a hy
draulic proposition he thinks the indica
tions are very encouraging. The dirt
runs about 2 cents to tlie pan; the
gravel is light, the grade about 2XA feet
to the 100 and the water is plentiful.
Allen with his partner, Sam Fox, who
came to town with him, is doing the
representation work for Col. Cooke.
“Red” says he averages 2 cents to the
pan in 75 pans washed.
Titles Tabooed
in U. S. Army
Overheard in post headquarters above
the “mill”:
“Capt. Mihleder, what do you do
here?”
“I’m acting sergeant major. Lieut.
Roy is the sergeant major general—out
hunting. He’s a kind of seeret.\ry to
the commanding officer.”
“Who’s next door?”
“Adjutant General Capt. Kingman.
He’s the commanding officer’s ‘mouth
piece.’ Then we have Commissary Ser
geant Major Generals Tobin and Carson.
Capt. Nulson is acting adjutant major
general. Across the hall is Maj. Riley,
quartermaster sergeant.
“Fourth Lieut. Short handles the long
green. He is special disbursing agent of
the paymaster’s department. The poke
is kept in the guard house.”
“Who’s in the front office?”
“The major.”
“Anything else?”
“Maj. Farnsworth, post commander;
that’s all. Fine day this.”
“Yes, fine day. Well, goodbye. Pleased
to have met you.”
“Goodbye.”
WANTS A JOB
ON THE ECHO
Expert Pressman From Co. A May
Work for George Hinton.
I
Priv. Clausson, Co. A, looked over the
News plant recently.
“So this is your little plant, is it?” he
said. “Not so bad. I’ve worked on big I
dailies outside as pressman.
“So this is a copy of your little paper. !
Pretty good, only you've got too much
ink on your rollers. You don’t feed the
ink right. Regulate the flow better.”
“Yes, but our ink doesn’t flow. We
smear it on with a stick.”
“That’s right. Power or hand press?”
“Neither. Foot press.”
“Ever see a big city paper? Haven’t?
I tell you they’re something great. You
ought to get a perfecting press. Come
to about $1,000 a deck. You can run off
a page with each deck.”
“Pretty stiff game.”
“Yes, they make ’em with from 80 to
90 decks. You can run off early mail,
city, late mail, comic, six extras and
four double extra extras all at once.”
“You must have worked on some
awfully big papers. I’ve heard of Mr.
Hearse. Lieut. Kingman was telling me
about him. He used to edit a college
weekly. That is, the lieutenant did.”
“Yes, I’ve worked on all of them.
Kalamazoo Gazette, Oskaloosa, Kokomo.
I’d like to get a job up here.”
“Have you tried the Hot Springs
Echo?”
“Never heard of it. Who is the man
aging editor?”
“George Hinton Henry. Think he’s
English; at least he dotes on Cardinal
Woolsev, Henry VIII, chicken dinner at
Stanley’s and new barber in town.”
“How does he regulate his ink?”
George Hinton at Work.
“Well, sometimes he does. When he
calls a man a thief or liar he puts it on j
pretty thick. Uses both hands to make ;
a good impression. Then again he stops '
the flow altogether—when he wants to
touch lightly on a subject. On the |
whole he strikes a pretty good average
during the year.”
“How often does he get out?”
“Nobody knows, not even George. He
tries to catch the Frank Smith express
out to Jerry Ford’s. Wi en the mule’s '
laid up George Hinton takes a rest. The
next week he gets out twice for good
luck. Once in a while he flatters the
advertisers by putting all their ads. on
the front page, leaving the others blank.”
“Remarkable man. Well, I must be
hiking. We’ve got to be in by 11. Wire
Henry. Tell him I’ll do his stereo
typing at odd moments, cheap. I’ve
got a union card. It’s run out, but he
won’t know the difference.”
Nussbaum’s Barbershop is the best in
town.
WOOD! WOOD!
Best Quality
All Lengths
Prompt Delivery
Prices Reasonable
JOHN REILLY
Leave orders at Yachon’s or News office
Warm Modern and
Reasonable Priced
00M3
AT THE
Tower House
JOE ANICICH,
Proprietor
New Roadhouse
On Melozi Portage
Between Corning and Melozi
Fills a Long-felt Want
ED. VENT, Proprietor
P DO YOU KNOW ~1
We are making Special
j Prices j
| ON LIQUORS?
THE NORTHERNS
J STODDARD KAY ?
mm NOW OPEN
UUnllU FOR BUSINESS
Completely Remodeled. Modern Throughout.
RATES $1 TO $2.
Our new DINING ROOM will soon be open. Watch the date.
CHARLES CHANQUIST, Prop.