IftMr&iaiWatwat)
or SEWARD, ALASKA — Established August 19. 1904
Published dally except Sunday by
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Entered in the postoffice at Seward Alabka as
second-class mail matter.
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E. F. Jessen, Editor and Manager
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BUREAUCRATIC LITANY
And it came to pass that in the-land which is called
Cache, which is set over against the mount of Denali,
albeit 17 leagues, or three sleeps from the great caravan
route into the land of the Interiorites. And there was
gold in the land. And of moose there were many. And
of little fishes there were some. Of garden sass there
was none. Neither was there packing houses and cold
storage wherein stored they them meat of -the stately
bull and his kindred.
And the chief of the tribe which had set off unto
himself and yeomen a goodly slice of the turbulent waters
which did flow along the creek. He setteth thereon his
sluiceboxes. Aye, he calleth to his tribesmen, sayeth he to
them. Lo, there is gold in the creek. Diggest thou like
a badger. Verily I giveth thee six copeks per diem and
thy provender if worketh thou faithful, and a bunk
wherein to sleep. And they heard him and said: It is
good. Work we well. Well worketh they.
And it came to pass that on the third month which
is called the summer solstice, the chiefs help getteth a
dark brown taste in the mouth. Even gritteth they their
teeth. For lo, all these many days of salt horse, canned;
vegetables, beans and bacon ate they them. Of their |
teeth some getteth loose; albeit go on strike against salt
provender.
And .they lifted up their voice and protesth much say
ing: Verily, another week on this salt chuck and ye have
made us pickled herrings; gettest us the scurvy; maketh
us beat up the bull cook; aye puttest dynamite into the!
chef’s corned beef and kraut. We of fresh meat would
eat even a civit cat if catchest thou him. Wottest thou
not of the moose which bellest in the glen? Verily there
is meat in plenty. Whv killest not thou? Wottest not
there Chicago meat in Gilead?
And verily up spoke the chief and sayest thus:
Knowest thou that the beef of which thou wouldest eat i
is frozen for shipment? Kowest not thou that is costeth
50 centimes a pound in Gilead and 25 centavos a packed
on Baalem’s ass from the caravan route to these digg
ings ? Knowest thou not that after Baalem’s ass runneth i
through the spruce thicket, gallopest down the hills, rolls!
in the mud and bucketh like the kingdom the j
while the beef swipest his ribs and gathered mira
tion, it maketh the malamutes sick and ye eatest skunk
weed to take the taste from thy grub-chute?
Hark ye, it is written that thou shall not kill of the
moose at anj^ time, albeit and thou are an hundred miles
from fresh meat, and feed it to the hired help. Cometh
the king’s guardian and sayeth he: Hark unto me: Hast
not thou read the Ten Commandments of Bureaucracy:
But, sayest I unto him: I covet not the moose head for an
ornament; neither his cape, nor his hoofs, nor his hide,
nor his horns, nor any part of him that setteth off a
den and supplieth the cue to a year of clever lying, like
unto him who shooteth with the safari and traveleth by*
airplane. Lo, my hired help getteth berserk; they rend
their riothes and show their great concern; they lifted
up their voice and blasphemeth like a waterfront parrot;
they say they are getting scurvy, all of which they blam
est upon me. The mate of my bosom sayest she feelest
like Lot’s wife after she rubbeded at a passing gown.
Woe is me! Mv cup is brimming over!
Whereupon s^aketh the king’s guardian: Wot ye
not there are dentists in Calamafrisco; albeit members
of the riviters union? Makest thev boiler plate grinders.
If then loseth thv teeth, then thou ~ loseth the desire
for meat, aye even the tenderest, and sweetest mush for
the remainder ^ th^ dovs, Hhieh may be long in the
whosegou^h if I cat<Ti you slipping a rib roast of wild
meat to the hired help.
If is so written in the book.
Hritrrv repents itself. They’re investigating Ai
mee’s “kidnaping” again.
TWO ARE CONFIRMED; OTHERS
WERE REFERRED TO
THE COMMITTEE
WASHINGTON, April 16, (/P)—
President Hoover transmitted to
the senate several score nomina
tions including Daws as Ambassa
dor to Great Britian.
Charles Rhodes, wealthy Phila
delphia banker, was nominated
commissioner of Indian affairs and
Joseph Dixon of Montana as first
assistant secretary of the interior.
Within a few minutes after
Dawes was nominated, the senate
confirmed it without a roll call.
Dixon’s nomination was also ap- j
'proved; all others were referred
| to the committee.
PRAGUE AID SEASON
IS VISIBLE 50 Mil.ESI
WASHINGTON, April 15, (A5)—A i
new airways beacon, visible for 50
miles, has been installed at the
Prague Czechoslovakia, airport,
the department of commerce has
been advised by its consul at Pra
gue.
The new beacon, 141 feet high,
is of 2.750,000 candle power and is
the main unit of complete night
flying equipment installed. The
seven storied structure was erect
ed at a cost of $25,000.
MEXICO CITY, April 16, (/P)—!
This capital, whiich decided a
month ago that Colonel Charles
A. Lindbergh was teaching his j
fiancee, Miss Anne Morow, to fly,
is now convinced she is gaining j
some proficiency with an airplane.
She has made two solo flights
and may soon outclass the “Lone
Eagle.”
CHICAGO, April 16, (/P) — Ben
Eielsen, Arctic flier and a number
of other persons prominent in avi
ation, were forced down on Lake
Michigan. The plane, after being
buffeted about -in the choppy wa- I
ters for about an hour was towed
ashore by Coast Guardsmen after ;
minor mechanical adjustments, it
was flown to ah airport. No one !
was injured.
CLEANLINESS and the best of
meats our motto. Fry-Bruhn's.
PBOFEsiiicsr
See
CURTIS R. M9RFGRD
FOR FIRE INSURANCE
D0N0H0F, & DIMOND
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
Offices
VALDEZ and CORDOVA
~ DR. A. R. ROBERTS
DENTIST
DENTAL AND GENERAL
X-RAY WORK
Phone Madison 108
New Tecklenberg Bldg.
ThThw'hyatt
j
Physician Surgeon
Offices in Tecklenberg Bldg.
Office Honrs: 1ft a. in. to 12 o’clock
2 p. m. to 4 p. m.: 6 p. m. to 8 p. m.
Phones: Main 136
Residence, Madison 90 I
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ONE SHOW ONLY AT 8 O’CLOCK
SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL
Once again we have the most popular woman in the world
Nary rickford
The world's sweetheart in the best play she has done for
years. A play named like the famous old song.
LITTLE ANNIE ROONEY
IN 10 REELS
A beautiful and yet comical story of a bright flower in a
garden of weeds. It is not a sentimental play, but one full
of pep and action; an ideal plot for the great star to
show her talents.
ANNIE ROONEY, THE SAUCY, PRANK
PLAYING, IRISH LASSIE, WHO GREW
UP ON THE SIDEWALKS OF N. Y.
Lovable little Annie, who led a gang of kids into many
pranks, but who, steadfastly influenced her friends to
develope a higher character. Yes, maybe a tear will fall
at the sweetness of her, but most of the time you’ll be
laughing at the rich comedy
Not a “leg-show” or “sex-appeal” feature, and yet one
that will give you much more pleasure.
EVERYBODY SHOULD SEE IT
There has never been a more popular song in America
than “Little Annie Rooney,” and now you can see it come
to wonderful life with the world's sweetheart in the title
role. It is a great production.
ELABORATELY STAGED
and with a special cast that includes
WILLIAM HAINES
And there will be an interesting
FOX NEWS
NOTE—This is an advanced price,
United Artists production but we able
to let this one go at 50c for adults and
^ 25c for kids.
YOU WILL SURE BE THE LOSER IF YOU MISS THIS
DELIGHTFUL PROGRAM
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FEATURES OF
THE NEW FORD CAR
BEAUTIFUL NEW LINES
Choice of colors
Quick acceleration
Smoothness at all speeds
55 to 65 miles an hour
Silent, mechanical internal-expand -
ing six-brake system, with all braking
surfaces fully enclosed
Four HoudaiUe shock absorbers
Triplex shatter-proof glass windshield
Ale mite pressure lubrication
Economy ; of operation and up-keep
Reliability and long life
Universal Credit Company Plan of
Time Payments
SEWARD MACHINE SHOP
CHAS. LECHNER FORD AGENT
5.3iiHinuiJit3iiiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiniiiiiiaiHiiiiiiiii:3miiiiHiiiniHiiHHiiir3imiiiuniniiiwiiifuit:ijiiiiiiHiiniiiiHimiitjiiuiimtnamHiHiuiaiiiji
JOHN C.
WHITE and CO.
High Grade Line of
CIGARS
TOBACCOS
CANDIES
FINEST BILLIARD HALL IN ALASKA
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