ffwar&laiWatcnmu
or SEWARD, ALASKA — Established August 19. 19«m
Published daily except Sunday by
THE GATEWAY PUBLISHING COMPANY
Entered in the postoffice at Seward Alaska as
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CONSISTENCY
Thou Art a Jewel
If there are any gods in Mars or whimsical imps
sitting on the edge of Saturn giving us the once over
they must get a wonderful kick out of America. Give
them a straw to chew on and a stove to spit at and this
is about what they’re saying:
Now take Old Man Kellogg. He got all them there
nations to sign up to agree not to fight and after he gets ,
home, by jinks, congress backs him up with five cruis- j
ers.
And then on the other hand, we don’t want to in- j
terfere around this western hemisphere so just to show j
how much we don’t we send marines to Nicaragua, let
the civil authorities of Mexico have explosive guns and
dynamite and don’t give 'em to anybody else;
Then again we got thru burning witches in Salem
300 years age but just to show we can be up-to-date we
start shooting each other in Pennsylvania because a
voodoo doctor tells us to.
Then we have 860 some churches saying the bible j
was the fundamental word and man never was or never j
could be a monkev and 860 odd churches, spending mil- j
lions in great edifices where some heavy-looking person
can get un and say man is and always was a monkey,
but if he folds his hands and closes his eyes and buttons
his collar in the back, he’ll finally get to a race course
where monkevs are entirely excluded.
Then while evervbody was mixed up in the “last” \
great war the real patriots kept the home-fires burning
bv slipping over the 18th amendment and have been
chortling about it ever since nothwithstanding the fact
that the bootlegger is king wih a poison that costs four
times as much as honest whiskey used to cost; that the
government is spending millions in alleged enforcement
insfe«d of taking in millions on sane regulation; that
nrohibition 1ms made so many crooks out of one-time
honest men that the average citizen hesitates to ap
proach a oublic official, even to ring in a fire alarm, and
Chicago has got tired of sniping ‘em one at a time in
the streets or the bull-rushes and gets ‘em all together
in a barn and shoots ‘em wholesale.
That the honest farmer—Old Si with his patched
overalls and his radio and his “Sin-Twix”—is just
breaking down in the middle of his back and the govern
ment must get busv to help him and in order to help
him must tinker with the tariff to give the big indus
trialists another billion so that the fanner can get a
million.
Then Uncle Sam gives $350,000,000 to the Colorado
river to develop horse power but renigs on oil permits
because we don’t need oil anyway.
And we can spend $20,000,000 to build a cruiser and
a $15,000 airnlane can drop a bomb on it and blow it
clean out of the water.
Then up here in Alaska they-but whats the
use!
Yes indeed, the gods must laugh,—we are so sen
sible and so wonderfullly consistent.
What a bunch of saps we Alaskans are. We send a
couple of dozen legislators down to Juneau every two
years at a Territorial cost of approximately $130,000
and, whe nthe smoke-screens of party battles clears
away, lo and behold, we got a counle of hundred
Not satisfied with the bureau handcuffs our own rep
resentatives must forge additional shackles.
A 451round bout between two pugilists is proposed.
Which would perhaps insure almost five rounds of
fighting.
An alienist says that insanity is on the decrease.
But, then, there are so many new names for things
nowadays.
.The bureaus will get you if you don’t watch out!
BISHOP HOWE IS
Ml SPEAKER AT
CHIP l Mi i
Vest.prrAqv’s well attended meet
ing of the Reward Chamber of
Commerce was traced bv the ores
ence of Bishop P. T. Rowe. Dr. H
W Alberts director of exoerimental
stations in Alaska and Capt. Luk
ens and Mr. Egffers of the U. S. S.
Rnrvevor, and Mr. Scott of Fair
banks
Having *et foot on Seward’s
s At ores in 1897. he has been observ
ing the steadv growth of a beauti
ful citv for 32 years, said Bishop
I Rowe, addressing the business rep
[re^entatives of Seward at the
luncheon, and it is his prediction
that the Gateway city on Resur
rection Bav will one dav be as big
as it is beautiful. “There is no
doubt in mv mind”, he said, “but
that with weather such as the In
terior cities have in the summer
time, Seward would be Alaska’s
most nopular tourists mecca”. Re
calling the many well ^ defined
speeches and lectures on AlasKa,
delivered by Honorable William E. (
Sulzer. ex-governor of New York,
Bushop Rowe emphasized the fact
ithat Seward on Resurrection Bay j
was always given prominence by i
Mr. Sulzer.
The Bishop himself has been !
preaching Alaska as well as the j
'Gospel for more than three decades
and last fall while in the east he
took time in Springfield, 111., to
render a lengthy talk to the Lin
coln ciub there, in which Alaska
was nis subject. “It is particular
ly delightful,” he said, “to describe
the wholesome environments of the
Territory and the comfort in which
Alaskans live.”
The Bishop was presented yes
terday with an honarary member
ship in the Seward Chamber.
Til HOUR WILL
CHANGE ON if 11
Hallelujah!
A passenger train from the •
wilds of the Interior arrived in j
Seward last night and left today
for the north. Next, according to
the alleged schedule, a passenger
may arrive in Seward Friday night
and north, the following morn
ing, Saturday. That is, perhaps!
It is said people have discarded
their cross-word puzzles and in
stead turned their attention to
doping out the train schedule.
Just how true this report is could
not be ascertained up to a late
hour today.
In all seriousness, however, the
present alleged schedule is sup
posed to be in effect until May 14
when—pay close attention to this,
' brothers and sisters,—only the
hour of departure and arrival
will be changed; 7:30 a. m. north
bound and incoming at 7 p. m.
As has been thot by most the days
of arrival and departure remain
as is; as they are now.
Is that clear? Huh!
The large Brown & Hawkins
warehouse on Sixth street is in
the hands of painters, the roof,
i being the first portion of the
’structure to be dolled up.
,, . -1—.—
NOT SO GOOD, MAYBE
Local yard crews of the railroad
are doing a lot of work around
the depot consisting mainly of
raising the boad walk some inches
higher than the track and sloping
the wide stretch of gravel down
i to Arcade Park. It is observed that
this change may result in water
from rains backing up into the
nark instead of running down in
to the bay.
Tickets for the High school play
“Adam and Eva” on sale at Candy
Cottage, Urbach’s & Valade and
i Seward Grill. General admission
75c; children 35c. Reserved seat
! tickets on sale at the Seward Drug
for $1.00.
MAGAZINE AND NEWSPAPER
SUBSCRIPTIONS TAKEN. Schal
lerer’s Alaska Shop.
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ONE SHOW ONLY AT 8 O’CLOCK
There will be no moving pictures here tonight L
as the theater has been let to the [7
SEWARD HIGH SCHOOL
Who will present their 3-act play
A RIOT OF FUN
COME EARLY AND AVOID THE RUSH
FEATURES OF
THE NEW FORD CAR
BEAUTIFUL NEW LINES
Choice of colors
Quick acceleration
Smoothness at all speeds
55 to 65 miles an hour
Silent, mechanical internal-expand
ing six-brake system, with all braking
surfaces fully enclosed
Four Houdaille shock absorbers
Triplex shatter-proof glass windshield
Alemite pressure lubrication
Economy of operation and up-keep
Reliability and long life
Universal Credit Company Flan of
Time Payments
SEWARD MACHINE SHOP
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