SmmrE) Il«iti)t<ktnuat)
OF SEWARD, ALASKA — Established August 19. 19m
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BUREAUCRATIC LITANY
And it came to pass in the land of Alaska, which was
the land set over by Bering sea and the home of the Kus-;
kokwimities, the Yukonites, the Shellikoffites, and others
of the seven lost tribes of Israel, who hadst been wander
ing in the wilderness for lo! these many moons. And
sourdoughs were many and an abomination in the land,
making war up n the animals, including moose, caribou,
sheep, gee's, albeit bears and skunks, the former ate
they them; when them ate they not; and the latter, al—
beit a pretty little kitty, carried an odor like unto that
of some laws fixed for subduing the wild tribes.
An lo! the sourdough, the most turbulent of the
tribes, possessed of a nomadic spirit wherewith they
wandered abroad in the land, seeking gold and other
treasures, building crude cabins, blazing trails, hanging
onto a mountain with one hand while they gouged its
seams for treasure with the other, polluting the crystal j
waters of the streams by drowning themselves therein, i
spoiling the pristine virginity of the beautiful glaciers
by diving headfirst into the crevasses and spattering
their blood on the rocks below.
And it came to pass that these turbulent tribes
used dogs wherewith to help drag their provender over
.the chast snows, making unsightly scars thereon, and
they killed and did eat of the wild animals on the way,
thereby robbing a gentle cow moose of her stalwart
husband and orphaned divers and many kids and lambs.
Ate they them, and fed they certain portions, like unto
the shin bones and tough parts to their dogs. All these
things did them they; yea they them did.
Wherefore hark ye! it is so written in the book that
five dogs are sufficient to haul a sourdough’s belongings
into the wilderness. The master of the buck’ounds, keep
er of the Biological Survey bullfrogs, and other leal
servitors of our realm will admonish all prospectors,
trappers and wanderers in the wilderness to cut down
their dog-teams to not to exceed five malamutes, which
must have proper markings along their spinal column
and measuring overall a displacement not to exceed 65
pounds of packed snow, and which must be fed on balanc
ed ration of which two moose shanks, free from meat
and fat, constitutes 13 calories, two goats ho- ". calor
ies, sheep tallow 48 callories, parka squirrels, .. ndra
moss* 6 calories, profanity 18 calories. If unable to ugure
calories, dogs should not be fed until inquiry has been
directed to the bureau of standards, weights and
measures.
Future school children Chicago will be taught that
it was the pineapple, not the apple, that started all the
trouble in the world.
DEATH OF NICHOLAS LEAVES RUSSIAN
EXILES IN ROW OYER A LEADER
Grant* i/uKe w > rn iyeit) is the self-declared preten
der to the Russian throne. Many Russian refugess, how
ever, aie followers of Gen. Alexander Paul Koutiapofi^
(right). When Grand Duke Nicholas died he named
Koutiapoff his successor unifying refugee organizations.
KODIAK SCHOOL !
ASKED BY FOSTER I
-* j
LEGISLATURES AND GOERNOR |
GUESTS TONIGHT OF C. j
OF COMMERCE
JUNEAU, March 15, (Special to
the Gateway)—Frank Foster of
Cordova introduced a measure in
the house appropriating $20,000
for the construction of a school
house at Kodiak to replace the
structure now used which was
built 40 years ago.
Seven senate bills were passed,
all minor and reenactments of
laws of 1927 which Attorney Gen- j
eral Rustgard held were invalid.
The legislative members and the j
Governor will be guests tonight
at the Juneau chamber of com- I
merce biennial banquet.
HOPEFUL OF RAISE
LONDON, March 15, OP)—After '
59 years without an increase in pay
the deans and canons of West
minister A'rbv are still hopeful. :
Parliament will be asked to ap
prove a raise recently prepared as!
a bill.
OLD CHURCH DAMAGED
HEIDELBERG, Germany. March
15, (TP)—The church of the Holy
ithose in which Germany’s oldest
univeisity was founded in 138o,
suffered severely thru fire. Sever
al ancient valuable windows had
to be broken.
RETURNING VISIT
PARIS, March 15, (/P)—A delega
tion of French veterans decorated
vith the “Croix de Guerre”, will
visit fhe United States next month.
They will form a “vest pocket” re
turn of the American Legion’s
Paris call.
FIRST IN WORLD
BERLIN, March 15, UP)— Time j
.able-- worked out to the half min
ute am a feature of the new Kaul
sriorf suburban electric line. It
•’aims to be the first service in the ;
world to reckon with fractions of
minutes.
EVEN IN THIS DAT
Corn shall make the young man
cheerful.—Zachariah.
SEATTLE BRICK ICE CREAM
ALL NEW FLAVORS—PINTS AND j
QUARTS. CANDY COTTAGE
General Tailoring ana Hats
Blocked for Ladies and Gentlemen. I
Phone Adams 91. Peyser’s Tailor
Shop.
WE CARRY THE BF.ST BRANDS
IF CANDY MANUFACTURED IN
THE UNITED STATES BOTH IN
BULK AND BOX. The Candy Cot
tage.
LEGAL NOTICl
V. S. LAND OFFICE, ANCHORAGE,
ALASKA.
NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN,
that CYRUS WILLIAM HARRING
TON, whose post office address is
Homer, Alaska, has made applica
tion in the United States Land Of
fice at Anchorage, Alaska, serial
S7J99, to enter a tract of land as a
Trade and Manufacturing Site un
ler Section 10, Act of May 14. 1898, j
said tract of land being dcscriue i I
is follows; S E 14, S W *4 and lot 4. j
section 19, T. 6 S. R. 13 W. S. M.
containing 70.73 acres. 'j
Any and all persons claiming ad - |
verselv any portion o? the above de I
scribed tract of land are required io j
file with the Register of the United j
States Land Office at Anchorage, |
Alaska, their adverse claim thereto j
under oath, during the period of!
publication or within thirty clays i
thereafter, or they will be barred by j
the provisions of the Statute.
FLORENCE L. KOLB,
Acting Register.
First publication March 9. 1929.
Last publication May 4, 1329.
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* ..—a—-.
8 O'CLOCK — ONE SHOW
- 8 O'CLOCK
— COMEDY — COMEDY — COMEDY —
MARIE PREVOST
— HARRISON FORD —SEEN A OWEN—
A great comedy trio in a drama of comical sit
uations.
THE RUSH HOUR
The rush for store bargains is nothing compar
ed to the rush for pleasure and thrills, and this
story deals with a girl who stows away on an
Atlantic liner; is used by crooks as “bait” for a
victim, is followed by her home lover who res
cues her after many exciting adventures
France.
in
LAUGHTER — THRILLS
LAUGHTER
This is a whiz-bang of a play, built to make you
forget all troubles but those of the heroine and
hero, who no sooner get out of one tight situa
tion than they fall into another.
We will start the laughs off with two comedies
of two reels each. An A1 St. John top-speed
creation of jokes in pictures called
‘NO CHEATING’
and a good animated cartoon of Snookums in
“NEWLYWED TROUBLES”
A great 10-reel program that will surely enter
tain you. Look this over again and then come.
i
FEATURES OF
THE NEW FORD CAR
BEAUTIFUL NEW LINES
Choice of colors
Quick acceleration
Smoothness at all speeds
55 to (15 miles an hour
Silent, mechanical internal-expand
ing six-brake system, with all braking
surfaces fully enclosed
Four Houdaille shock absorbers
Triplex shatter-proof glass windshield
Alemite pressure lubrication
Economy of • operation and up-keep
ReliabUity and long life
Universal Credit Company Plan of
Time Payments
SEWARD M ACHINE SHOP
CHAS. LECHNER
FORD AGENT
OVERLAND
hotel
**n **»« Main Street
SEWARD ALASKA
MEL A. HORNER, Mgr.
VAN GILDER HOTEL
HOT AND COLD WATER IN EVERY ROOM
STEAM HEAT
J. & BADGER