Valdez Daily Prospector
PUBLISHED BY THE
Prospector Publishing Co.
TERMS.
Daily Prospector.
By carrier, per month....$ 1.00
By mail, per annum. 10.00
The Weekly Miner.
carrier, per month. 40o
By mail, per annum.$3.00
The Daily Prospector and Weeklj
Miner, by carrier, to one address
per month.$1.25
The Daily Prospector and Weekly
Miner by mail to one address
only per year.$12.50
Business Office and Editorial
Rooms, Phone 152.
Advertising Rates on Application.
FRIDAY, APRIL IS, 1913.
MAIL DELAY AT SUCKERVILLE.
Tile two men were taking a
Sunday hath on Barrack Square
and discussing the fact that the
outside mails were near nowhere.
“It ’s just, tierce,” said one of
the men, “I tie way these mails
arc delayed,” and he paused to
examine the man with the red
side whiskers that just came up
to him expecting to make a touch.
“The delays are pretty hum all
right,” said the man with Ihe red
whiskers as lie joined in the sun
hath, “hut, shucks, there ain't
nothin’ new under I lie sun. I
mind the lime 1 was hark in the
Ozarks and we was isolated from
the outside for seven long, weary
months. The mail was coming
reg’lar enough for some years,
when all of a sudden fhey slop- j
ped with a jerk. I dunno hut it j
was just the same as happened:
this winter. There were two
passes to our camp, and the eon- j
tractors had switched it, over the!
bumemsl road, with tin* natural!
■consequence that the road was|
blocked. When we learns how .1
was, we up and telegraphed Col- !
onet Ooelhals and demanded He j
repudiation of the Panama I real' , |
hut that, didn't do a hit. of good.
We come to the conclusion that
we had better leave the whole S
matter in the hands of the hem-j
ocrat.ie club, and was for sending*!
a message to William Jennings |
Bryan when along comes a wise j
gazabo of an editor and lie tells |
us all about it. “There ain’t no
delay, men.” says he, “and wo- j
men. too, begging your pardon.”
“I’ve been over Ihe trails and
know all about it. The mail de
lay is simply imaginary, and a
case of llioughl project ion mere
ly. Ail you have to do to relieve
the siluation is to think buck
wards. and itnag+fic you get the
mails reg’lar and there you are.
The department in Washington
will ’lend In the rest, and we can
receive mail by induct ion.” Well,
we allowed llial mebeb the guy
was rigid. I hough most of us fell
tlial we was getting mails by re
duction just them. However, af
ler consulling Ihe leaders of Ihe
hem.Nit ie club, now that they
was in power, we formed a pow
erful society for Ihe study of
spiritualism, so tlial we might
project the mails into our pres
ence by absent treatment. This
editor guy lie had Ihe long dope
at his lingers ends, and lie leaches
ns how to do it, although tie near
ly got us all into trouble when
lie taught ms the (dements of levi
tation. which is lifting.something
by just pulling your hands on it.
One of our members levitated a
barrel o’ beer, and Ihe judge said
that there were no spiritualism
ahouf it. and gave him ninety
days.
\\ HI. sir. \vn ini'l rcg Ini' anil we
bail Ibc ilarndcsl lime ymi ever
saw—imir lillle burg's iiaine' I for
got In mention was railed Suek
ervilli,--and I In* citizens made
things hum. Kven I lie politic
ians gul I lie spirilualisl ie craze,
and when they’d meet one aimth
er in I be slreel, they’d Iry and
hypnotize votes for the municipal
elections mil of everyone of us.
The way we understood the bad
eyes and cold shoulders, and levi
tation and malerializal ion. was a
sight, and we allowed that if it
wasn’t for that there edilor teach
in’ us we’d still he barbarians.
Well, anyhow, there cant’ be Ion
much of a good thing, and when
our neighbors began lo lliink us
all bugs, we began lo think the
same of ourselves. They edilor
says they was nothin’ hut a lot of
dope fiend Socialists, them neigh
bors, what was drivin’ capital out
of the country, and he clapped
his hands on his jeans just to
gel a strangle hold on a beer
check that rested there for fear
it might disappear. We kind of
failed on our induction, so we
sent a committee lo interview Ihe
editor man and the1 Democratic
club. Says we there ain't cornin’
no mails, Mr. Man, and this ab
sent treatment don’t seem to
work; what’s the matter with that
dope of yours, anyhow? Well,
will you believe me, he editor
fainted, and the members of the
Democratic club withdrew from
the spiritualist society that was
to precipitate mails, leaving its
founder alone with some shoo
fly to bring him to.
"And did you ever gel any
mail?” impatiently interrupted
one of the men who had been tak
ing a sun hath.
"We did. eventually.” declared
the man with the red side whis
kers.
“By induction or precipita
tion?” asked the other man. who
Was taking a sun hath.
"Nope, by neither." declared
the man with the red side- whis
kers, “the government sent it in
by dog team a month or two late,
and that killed the absent treat
ment in Suckerville. We forgot
all about it.”
The man with the red side j
whiskers scratched his hair re
flectively and remarked his throat
was like a furnace which the sun
hathcVs seemed to think called;
for no comment.—Nome Indus- ;
trial Worker.
I
LAWS.
By (ieorge Filch.
Laws ace rules made by gov- j
eriimeiils and sometimes obeyed
by eilizens. A law consists of
several thousand expensive and
complicated words embroidered
around loopholes. When an ig
norant citizen attempts lo read a
law, lie chokes on I he lirsl sen
tence, bul a wise mail can dive
right Ihrough a loophole without
so much as attracting the alien
lion of the statute surrounding it.
Laws are the most fragile
things in the world. They are
more fragile than glass. A mere
touch will break a glass, but a
man can break some laws with
out doing anything at all. Many
a man has sal perfectly still while
his store has burned up and lias
gone lo jail for it.
When a man breaks a law he is
not allowed to put it together
again. He must pay a fine or go
to jail or hire a lawyer. Most
people prefer the latter course.
If a man is careful lo hire an ex
pert lawyer. In* can wade through
laws like a bull galloping Ihrough
ten acres of chinaware and es
cape all punishment except get
ting his picture in the papers.
There are several thousand
laws in each slate, so that no one
who desires lo fracture a statute
need sutler because of a shortage
in lln> supply. The average man
breaks a dozen laws a day and
smashes enough in a year to use
up all of bis salary and all of his
time in lines and imprisonments.
Bul be doesn't know it. Many
laws are entirely unsuspected by
the public. This fs because of
poor advertising. Some laws
which were passed 50 years ago,
haven’t done enough business in
that time to pay expenses.
In some slates a man breaks
the law when he' kisses his wife
on Sunday. This is because there
is no Osier limit on a law. It
lives forever unless killed with tin
axe.
Everyone breaks little laws, but
if ;i man gives his careful atten
tion to I In* art, he can break big
ger and bigger la\\'s until he may
eventually ;be lined $20,000,0010
with perfect safety to himself.
A law is supposed to he a great
protection to society, hut it is so
much harder to work than a re
volver that many people choose
the la I tor. To start a law work
ing, one must use a slate’s attor
ney. itn honest .jury, a judge with
brains, ami a supreme court
which isn't suffering from tech
nicalities. Many men who can
start an automobile in the ilead of
wilder and run il wilh one hand,
have tried to crank up the law
which makes il expensive for a
railroad to cut off legs and arms,
and has fooled with Ihe thing un
til he died of old age without get
ting a single explosion.
Studying Books.
With (Jeep ami ancient Ionics to
toil, ami hum Ihe midnight Stand
ard oil may seem a job forbid
ding; Iml it’s the proper thing lo
do. whene’er you have Ihe time,
if you would have a mind non
skidding. If one in social spheres
would shine, he ought to cut out
pool and wine, and give some
lime to study; load up with wis-.
dom lo the guards and read the;
message of the bards from Homer
down l,o Buddy. How often con
versation Hags, how oft the
weary evening drags, when peo
ple get together, when they have
sprung their ancient yawps about,
the outlook of Ihe crops, the
groundhog and Ihe weather. How
blest the gent who entertains,
who’s loaded up his active brains
with lore that’s worth repeating,'
the man of knowledge, who can
talk of other things than wheal
and stock and politics and eating.
Our lives are lusterless and gray
because* we sweat around all day
and think of naught but lucre;
and when we’re at our inglenooks
we never open helpful books, but.
fool with bridge or euhre. Ex
hausted by the* beastly grind we
do not try to store the mind with
matters worth he knowing; our
lives are spen with hunting cash,
and when we die we make no
splash, and none regrets our go
ing.
WALT MASON.
Head of the House.
“Could I see your husband,
ma'am?" asked Ihe tramp at the
door.
“What do you want to see him
for?” demanded Mrs. Ilenpeck. “I
am I lie head of I he house.”
“Oh. excuse me. I didn't know."
replied Ihe tramp courteously.
“In that case, could you spare me j
a pair of your trousers, ma’am?”
Independent Laundry Co.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Telephone 6B
Foot Keysaoue Ave
Roujjh Dry 10c lb.
Valdez Dock Co. PHONE NO. 1 ;
JOBBER IN
COAL, HAY and GRAIN
AGENTS FOR
Alaska Steamship Company
Alaska Coast Company
FOR SALE
2 1-2 H. P. Stationary Gasoline
Engine
A BARGAIN
| Keystone Dock Valdez Iron Works
>
New Arrivals For
THE HOME
9x12 ft Amber Velvet Art Squares
9x12 ft Seneca Velvet Art Squares1'
9x12 ft Palisade Velvet Art Squares
9x12 ft Fulton Tapstry Art Sbuares
36x72 111 Hart Axminster Rugs
27x60 in Smiths Axminster Rugs
16x30 in Smyrna Rugs
A Few Bargains Left
In Green and Red WOOL FILLER SUPER
INGRAIN CARPETS.
MILK-MILK-MILK
Fresh Mitk and Cream
VALDEZ DAIRY
Telephone orders to Phone 187
Geo. f. white
The Assayer
Assaying and Ore Testing
CORRECT RESULTS
No More, No Less
VALDEZ, ALASKA
! New York Life
Insurance Co.
W. H. CRARY, ReprueoUtive
Valdez, Alaska. Phone 41
THE SALESMAN
makes more sales and
makes them with greater
facility if his work is re
enforced by Electric Light.
It shows his goods to the
best advantage,and colors
may be readily matched
under its rays.
A brilliant electrically
lighted store stamps a
merchant as a hustler.
And trade follows light.
A. W. L. & T. Co.
THE
CUFF
ROOMS
Steam Heat
Always Clean
and Comfortable
Central Location
P. S. HUNT, Prop.
Copper River
Draying Co
Freighting and passengers to all parts
of the interior. General Trucking
fcid. Wood, - Proprietor
McKiniey St, Valdez
Steam Heat Electric Light*
THE COPPER BLOCK
Finely Furni*hed Room* All Modern Convenience*
Good tuc Diirrrr g ° °d
Goods int Durrci G°ods
Copper River Lumber Co., Inc.
ALL KINDS OF
Native and f T TRilDCD and Building
Puget Sound LjUlVIDErtV Material
CONSTANTLY ON HAND
Prices Right W. M. FINICAL, Mgr. Phone 18
Patronize a Home Industry
VALDEZ DRUG CO.
Drugs and Druggist Sundries
PRESCRIPTION SPECIALISTS
Telephone Orders Solicited Free Delivery
We do a
general
Banking
Business
i
Bank in
rear of
mercantile
department
I Ve Pay 4 Per Cent Interest an lime Certificates at Depesit.