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HIS PERFECT LIKENESS.
A Snuffbox, a Portrait and a Much
Surprised Monarch.
It is related of Frederick II., king
of Prussia, that he one day made a
present of a golden snuffbox to one
of his counts. When the latter
opened the lid he found the picture
of an ass painted upon the under
side of it. Though he scarcely rel
ished the king’s joke, he said noth
ing at the time, but as soon as he
quitted the king’s presence he sent
one of his valets with the snuffbox
to the city and gave him instruc
tions that the picture of the ass
was to be painted out and a portrait
of the king put in its place.
A few days later a distinguished
company dined with the king. The
count was one of the guests, and
after a time he produced his snuff
box and pretended to examine it
with the air of a man who was proud
to have received such a gift from
the king. The latter, wishing to en
joy a little amusement at the count’s
expense, mentioned to the Duchess
of Brunswick that he had made a
present of the box to the count on
the preceding day. She desired to
inspect it, and when the box was
handed to her she opened the lid
and, looking inside, cried in rap
tures: ‘Terfect! The likeness is
charming! It is one of the best
portraits of you that I have ever
seen!”
She handed the box to the per
son next to her, who was equally
charmed with the likeness. From
one to another the box was passed,
and all testified to the excellent re
semblance which the picture bore to
the king. The king, thinking that
the ass’ head was still to be seen on
the snuffbox, felt exceedingly em
barrassed and scarcely knew what
to make of the incident, but at last
the snuffbox, having made the tour
of the table, came to his hands, and
the first glance showed him how
cleverly the count had anticipated
his little joke and turned it against
him.
A Nice Calculation.
A Flemish gentleman conceived
the idea that he would only live a
certain time, so he made a nice cal
culation of his fortune, which he
so apportioned as to last just the
same period as he guessed his life
would extend to. Strangely enough,
his calculations came correct to the
letter, for he died punctually at the
time he had previously reckoned,
lie had so far exhausted his estate
that after his debts had been dis
charged a solitary pair of slippers
represented the entire property he
left. His relatives buried him, and
a representation of the slippers was
carved on the tomb. Today in a
churchyard at Amsterdam his grave
may be seen, the only inscription on
the stone being two Flemish words,
“Effen Nyt” (i. e., “Exactly”).
Too Much to Expect.
Camp Meeting John Allen, the
grandfather of Mme. Nordica, was
for many years a picturesque figure
among the Methodist ministers in
the state of Maine. He was a good
deal of a wag, and his utterances
were much appreciated by both saint
and sinner. At one time, having
gone to Lewiston to attend a quar
terly meeting, he was approached in
the street by several youDg men who
were evidently out for a good time.
“Camp Meeting John,” said the
spokesman, “who was the devil’s
grandmother ?”
“The devil’s grandmother,” re
plied the old man in the quick,
sharp tone so characteristic of his
speech, “the devil’s grandmother—
how do .you expect me to keep your
family record?”
When a Man’s In Love.
Love was under discussion, and
the time old “When Is a Man In
Love” question came up. “A man
is in love,” said one, “when it gives
him physical pain to tear up the
slightest of her notes.” “When”—
but it, would be violating confidences
to tell other answers. One only—
the best—we begged leave to print.
“A man isn’t really in love.” said
this romantically astute old gentle
man, “until he begins to skip the
descriptions of heroines in novels
he reads, saying. ‘What’s the use of
reading that ? I’ll have her looking
like her and talking like her any
way.’ ”—Metropolitan.
8om«thing to Praise.
An American judge, who had the
reputation of never saying an ill
word of any one, was once tackled
by a lawyer friend who hoped to get
him to admit wrong in somebody.
He tried every conceivable subject
fa vain, and then, coming to a no
toriously troublesome character, he
inquired: “By the way, judge, what
do you think of this man Blank,
anyhow?” The judge considered ft
moment. “1 think he has the finest
whiskers I ever saw grown in Mis
souri,” he finally declared, with so
mnch animation that his interroga
tor was utterly baffled.—-St. Jamm
Gazette.
LONDON’S LORD MAYOR.
Cutie* of the Highest Salaried Mafia*
trate In the World,
The powers and duties of the lord
mayor of London in presiding over
his square mile of territory present
some curious features. Theoretical
ly, at least, the consent of this im
portant personage must be obtained
before even the king may enter the
city of London. At the same time,
it may be pointed out, the lord may
or spends a considerable portion of
each morning disposing oi' petty of
fenders against the majesty of the
law in the small area over which he
rules. Most of these are plain
“drunks.” Imagine the mayor of
New York, of Boston or of Chicago
engaged in the dispensation of such
Solomon-like justice.
The “city” in London comprises
but one square mile, the greater
part whereof is occupied by the
great business houses that control
the finances of the world. For in
stance, there is the Bank of Eng
land, containing a reserve fund of
$100,000,000 in gold. Twenty-eight
soldiers are detailed to guard the
treasure within, but without it is
still further watched, inasmuch as
within the square mile mentioned
there circulate no fewer than 1,800
policemen. After 9 o’clock in the
evening the silence of the streets
there is broken only by the slow
tread of these “bobbies.” It would
be a bold burglar indeed who at
tempted work in this well guarded
area.
The result of all this is that as
downright criminals give the city a
wide berth, the chief offenders haled
before the lord mayor in the morn
ing are those who have looked upon
the wine when it was red in the cup.
The lord mayor’s salary is twice
that of the prime minister. He re
ceives as much pay as does our pres
ident. He is the highest salaried
magistrate in the world.
It is not to be assumed, however,
that, aside from disposing of the
morning’s “drunks,” the lord mayor
has nothing to do. One such offi
cial, who kept a record of his ac
tivities during the course of one
year, has tabulated for our informa
tion some interesting figures in this
connection. It appears that he at
tended 130 public and semipublic
dinners, 85 balls and receptions, 305
meetings and committees. He de
livered 1,100 speeches and paid 20
state visits to churches.
When the above mentioned class
of duties militates against his dis
pensation of justice a brother alder-’1
man takes the lord mayor’s place
on the bench.—Harper’s Weekly.
A Brave Briton.
When the attack was made on
Sidon, during the war with Syria,
it became necessary for the British
troops to advance across a long, un
protected bridge in the face of a
battery of six guns, which complete
ly commanded the approach. The
men were unwilling to expose them
selves to certain death, when Arthur
Cumming, carefully dressed in full
uniform, stepped forward to the
middle of the bridge. It was iim
mediately swept by the tire of the
battery. When the 6moke had roll
ed away, there stood Cumming in
tact, carefully brushing the dust
from his boots, after which he stood
erect, fixed a single glass in his eye
and looked back at the men. This
was too much, and they captured
that bridge and battery with a
whoop.
No Joy Visit.
A Glasgow journalist who was
careless of hi6 personal appearance
was assigned to write something
about a show at a leading Glasgow
theater. He presented his card at
the box office. ,
The manager came out and look
ed at the disheveled visitor dubi
ously.
“Did you come here to write some
thing about the play—to work ?” he
asked.
• “Do you think I’d come to your
theater for amusement?” asked the
journalist as he stalked out.—Phila
delphia Saturday Evening Post.
A Zulu Rain Charm.
The Zulu6 employ a rain charm
which is very remarkable consider
ing their usual fierceness and cruel
ty. They catch a bird, and after the
tribal wizard has consecrated it and
made it a “heaven bird” they throw
it into a pool of water. In spite of
their own indifference to the suffer
ings of animals they believe that
the sky, which they conceive to be
a personality, will be full of woe at
the death of the bird and drop sym
pathetic tribute in showers of rain.
Choice of Evils.
“Well, old man,” said Sinnickson
after the performance, “I certainly
was surprised to see you in private
theatricals.”
“Yes,” replied Brightly, “but you
see if I didn’t appear on the Btage
I’d probably have to sit in the audi
ence and be bored to death.”—Phil
adelphia Preae.
A. M. Dieringer
Valdez Transfer
Company
General Trucking and Freight
ing to all interior points
LIVERY and FEED STABLE
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Dr. H. COCKERILLE
Graduate .'of National University
Washington,ID. C."
DENTISTj
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Office iniWheling building-— VALDEZ"
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by appointment All work guaranteed
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LAWYER
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VALDEZ, ALASKA
Valdes Lodge
No 168.
Free and Accepted Masons
Regular Communications first Wednesday in
each month in McKinley Hall Visitors alway#
welcome.
James H. Patterson..W. M
C. C. Reynolds. Sec
FOE
VALDEZ AERIE No. 1971
Meet every Friday. 8p. m. Eairle Hal
CAMP VALDEZ No. 10
Meet every Tuesday evening at 8 o'clock in
Eagle! Hall. All members are requested to
ttend. P S. McjJIECE. Arctio Chief
f PIONEERS OF ALASKA
’>< IGLOO NO. 7.
Meets every first and third Mon
day of each month. All visit
ing Brothers welcome.
E. G. AMES, Secretary.
VALDEZ LODGE NO. 6,1.0. 0. F.
Meetsevery Monday at 8 p. m- in
ODD FELLOWS HALL
Visiting Brothers especially invited
Wm. Thomas, a. a. P. S. Hdkt, p. g., Sac