I
The
Report Card
Reading ..A
Writing.A
Arithmetic.A
By CONRAD H. POTTER
Superintendent of Schools
Dear Dad,
With tongue in cheek, we offer
“The Klobber-and-Klonk” meth
od of discipline ... (A letter from
Moss Hart to Bennett Cerf, pub
lished in Cerf’s syndicated col
umn.)
Dear Bennett:
Do you remember, one lovely
starlit evening on the desert a
few weeks ago, our discussing at
some length and with a good deal
of parental acrimony, the proper
method of bringing up children?
That usually discerning and ex
tremely wise lady, your wife, dis
agreed violently and somewhat
haughtily, I thought, at the meth
od we use in our house, but I
thought you showed unusual in
terest in our experiment, and
greatly longed to apply it your
self, so I pass it on to you and
to any other f, antic and harassed
parents who, like ourselves, were
damn near ready for the booby
hatch until The Klobber Method
came into our home.
The Klobber Method was dis
covered, or rather invented, by
Ernest J. Klobber, a Viennese
psychiatrist who, at the time of
the discovery of the method
which was to bear his name, was
a staunch believer in the modern
and accepted formula for rearing
children. Give them a reason for
everything—watch out for trau
mas—plenty of love and security
— and never a harsh word. So
great an exponent of this formula
was Professor Klobber that, at
the time of his discovery, the
Professor, who has six children of
his own, was about to be carted
off to a sanitarium in a state of
complete nervous collapse: a con
dition any modern parent will
understand at once. As the
stretcher was being carried out
of the house, one of the children
aimed a kick at it which, with
unerring childlike aim, landed ex
actly where it was meant to land.
The Professor, though thoroughly
used to being kicked by his chil
dren, was under mild sedation at
the time, and it may have been
that that caused reflex action on
the Professor’s part. Bringing his
arm up from the stretcher, he
brought his hand down with a
good, sharp crack on the child’s
head. There was an anguished
howl from the child—first time in
its life no reason had been given
for> an action—but the effect on
the’ Professor was startling. He
leaped up from the stretcher and
gave each of the other five kid
dies in turn a good smart crack
over the head—a Klobber, as he
afterward termed it—and never
went near the sanitarium. In
stead, in suddenly excellent
spirits and health, he began to
develop The Klobber Method. No
reason was given for anything.
“No” meant “no” and “yes”
meant “yes,” and trauma or no
trauma, at the first hint of an
argument the children got a klob
IN THE PROBATE COURT FOR THE
CAPE NOME PRECINCT. SECOND
DIVISION. STATE OF ALASKA
No. 1099
NOTICE OF SALE
OF REAL PROPERTY
IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF
JOSEPHINE, KAIJI. deceased.
NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that,
pursuant to order of the above named
Court entered on the 14th day of Sep
tember. 1959. all property of the above
named estate described below will be
sold at public auction oral bid sale, for
full cash only, said sale to be held at
10 o'clock a.m. at the office of the
United States Commissioner. Federal
Building, Nome, Alaska, on the 14th day
of October, 195,9. The Administratrix re
serves the right to refuse and reject any
and all bids.
The property to be sold is the resi
dence and contents formerly occupied
by the deceased, and described as fol
lows:
The South 60 feet of the West 30
feet of Lot 16 in Block 25, in the
Citv of Nome, Alaska, and together
with a small frame dwelling located
thereon and the contents therein. ,
Dated this 14th day of September, 1959.
EDITH ARNOLD,
Administratrix of the Estate of
Josephine Kaiji, deceased.
James A. vcn der Heydt
Attorney at Law
Nome. Alaska
Publish Sept. 28, Oct. 5, 9, 12, 1959.
NEAT—BUT ALSO GORY
SACRAMENTO, Calif., UP> —
Neatly dressed Sylvia Miller, 17,
walked into George Klumpp’s
funeral home Wednesday and
quietly arranged for her own
funeral.
Five hours later, she returned
to the sidewalk in front of the
funeral home and killed herself
by firing a revolver bullet into
her temple.
ber, and life, for the Professor
and his good wife, was livable for
the first time since the patter of
little feet had thundered through
the house.
Like all great discoveries, how
ever, The Klobber Method met
with furious opposition on the
part of educators and progressive
parent organizations, and it was
not until a refinement of the
Method was suggested by an
^assistant of the Professor’s that it
began to meet with popular, if
secretive, approval. The Profes
sor’s assistant, one Heinrich
Klonk, suggested that — since a
j good Klobber usually left a tell
; tale lump—a short side-swipe, or
a Klonk, in other words, would
do the trick just as well, and to
hell with PTA’s and such. Hein
rich Klonk is one of the unsung
heroes of our time for, though he
gets small credit for The Klob
ber Method, his little refinement
worked like a charm, and the
word “Klonk” echoes through
thousands of peaceful homes like
a balm. t
The charm of the method, my
dear Bennett, is its utter sim
plicity. In place of long hours of
dreary explanation that Daddy
cannot work if Junior bangs on
the radiator and if Daddy cannot
work and make money, how will
we go to the circus; in place of
that tortured quiet between hus
band and wife in the long night
hours as to which one warped the
childish id by refusing to allow
the hot-foot to be applied to
Uncle Robert; in place of all that
— just “klonk!” and serenity
reigns. It is the greatest invention
since the wheel, my. dear fellow,
and as your wife seemed to object
i to it, try it on her first instead of
| the children, and let me know the
j results. I’ll still be out here—
three thousand miles away—but
I’d like to know what happens.
MOSS HART
Ever yours,
Pre-Loaded Containers To
Speed Handling of
Baggage on Jet Planes
A transport manufacturer and
■an airline together have developed
a preloaded container which
makes it possible to remove bag
gage from jet aircraft in less than
three minutes — about one-fifth
the time required by ordinary
manual methods.
Made of light-weight fiberglass,
the tub-shaped containers match
the contour of cargo compart
ments in the underside of the jet
transport. The “tubs” are lifted
in and out by an electric hoist. In
side the compartment they fit into
place on a track like beads on a
string. Carts transport the baggage
containers to the aircraft.
Engineers estimate that the bag
gage containers can be removed
from the plane faster than most
of the 100-plus passengers can
deplaned
Butane Gas Spews Over
Austin From Broken Main
AUSTIN, Tex., UP)—A roaring
break in a 10-inch main spewed
propane gas over a vast1 section
of Austin early Thursday and
threatened thousands with poten
tial explosion.
But four hours after the break,
police said the gravest danger of
a blast appeared ended. The 300
to 400 persons who fled their
homes returned.
The propane gas collected in
any low place and a spark or fire
could set it off.
An official of Phillips Petro
leum Co. said the break appar
ently was caused by a cleaning
device sent through the line.
The line carries butane or pro
pane gas depending on the season.
The gases are processed from nat
ural gas and liquefy under pres
sure.
Maximum gross vehicle ratings on the 1960 model Ford F-600
have been increased to 21,000 pounds and the addition of an
optional 16,000-pound two-speed rear axle provides up to a 15
per cent greater torque capacity. Advanced engineering in Ford s
I960 truck line permits greater versatility and improved over-all ,
operational economy and durability. The popular F-600 now off®*®
a choice of four gross vehicle weight ratings —17,000, 18,000,
19,500 or 21,000 pounds.
TATTOO MAY CAUSE ILLNESS
NEW YORK, UP> — All six tat
too parlors have been closed by the
Health Department as a possible
source of the liver ailment, hepa
titis.! A 17-year-old boy died ofj
the disease last week sometime
after he was tattooed at Coney
Island. Unsterilized needles were
suggested as a possible source of
the infection.
Syngman Rhees Observe
Silver Wedding Anniversary
"SEOUL, Korea, (4*) — President
Syngman Rhee and his Austrian
born wife observed their silver j
wedding Thursday.
Rhee celebrated his 84th birth
day last March.
__ ,
IT'S COLD "OUTSIDE"
By the Associated Press
Freezing weather caused shiv
ers in many parts of the Midwest
today.
Temperatures, plunging 20 de
grees or more in 24 hours in some
communities, hit winter levels
during the night. Among the lows
were 16 above zero in Dickinson,
N.D., 23 in Rapid City, S.D., 31
in Des Moines, Iowa, and Omaha,
Neb., and 32 in the Minneapolis
St. Paul area.
To Helicopter With It
BALTIMORE, OP) — The heli
copter is not yet here to stay, it
seems.
The City Board of Estimates
voted Wednesday to reconvert a
Baltimore harbor pier from a
heliport to an automobile parking
area.
The board was told that in two
years of operation the revenue
from helicopter traffic at the pier
was only $253 while the revenue
formerly was $500 monthly when
the pier was used for automobile
parking.
Numbered Duplicate Stub Tickets
For Sale at The Nugget
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