TOMMY ATKINS ESO.
CONVALESCING RECOUNTS
AMUSING INCIDENTS
"if l did my duty like a soldier,”
said Sam, “1 shouldn’t be sitting here
talking airy Percy-what's-hls-name—
airy persiflage to you. By rights 1
ought to be lolling most uncomfort
ably in a Louis Quinsey's chair, list
ening to the Hon. Laura reciting "The
Charge of the Light Brigade.’ But
I’m not a soldier, only a poor, miser
able old crock with lumps of German
ironmongery concealed about my per
son.
"Some of these people that take us
out to give us it g'ood time and make
us forget our troubles are absolute
pic. But there are others! They
do it to get their nuthes In the papers.
’Lady de Flip entertained a party of
wounded soldiers to tea yesterday at
her charming residence in Bayswater.
The dainty Tittle repast was followed
by an exciting lecture by Professor
Borem on the incidence of Asiatic
Cholera among Deep-Sea Dnddy
longlegses.’ That’s the sort of thing.
"They’re the puff-hunters. But the
other sort whose names don’t get into
the papers, they give us sardines on
toast and stalls at the theatre. Some
thing like!
“Well, last Friday in conies Sister
looking us bright as si burnished burn
and says a lady wants twenty nice
looking swadcTie to take ’em out and
do ’em up proud, with stuffing, and
asks for volunteers. Now, as you
may have noticed when you take out
your cigarette case—Thanks! Don’t
mind if 1 do—when there’s anything
being given away free gratis and for
nix, Sam is there bright and early
holding up his hand.
"i volunteers lo go, and 1 went.
There was u motor-lms outside and
a flunkey to hand us a rifle-range
cigar on entering.
"Next thing, we are ushered into a
gaudy mansion, double-breasted, with
bath, h, and e., and the usual domes
tic ollices, and told by a Johnny in
velvet pants to wij»e our feet and put
all crutches in the hall stand.
“ 'Sheero, old cock!’ I said to him.
What are we in for? Is it a bun
struggle, or a real tea, with muffins
and sugar ad li I >. ? Two lumps in
mine, 1 said, 'followed by the Exploits
of Elaine, or Charlie Chaplin.'
"He was a proud bird, though!
Just sniffed and Said, ‘Er ladyship his
hentertaining you to tea in the blue
blood war, with recitations to follow.'
“1 turned to Muckey Simmons that
was behind mi1. ‘Cheer lit),’ -Muckey,'
1 said. 'It’s only Little Algernon
going to cough up "The Wreck of the
Hesperous." Then i-ittle -Marjorie will
play the ".Maiden’s l’rayer,” one lin
ger, and recite “The boy stood on the
ruddy deck,” followed by imitations
of a circular saw and other fan.-yard
pets by the old man.’
“it turned out just as I had antici
pated. First it was tea in china as
thin as eggshells, and poor old Muckey
got so nervous he bit a lump of his
cut) and ruined it. They couldn't find
the lump either, so l reckon Muckey's
in for some more chloroform. Next
dear old ladies came round and cheer
ed us up with bright and breezy
after-tea conversation. One such
planted herself on me. I'd got my
arm in a sl'ing, you know, and some
patches and things on my head.
“ ‘Whell, my man!’ she says. ‘Whell,
and are you wounded?”
"Ho, no, mum!’ I said. ‘Nothing
to speak of. Only the other day, you
know, while we were having lunch,
I bit my tongue rather badly.’ She
left. Another came along soon after)
and asked mo the same tomfool ques
tion. I told her I hadn’t been near
the Front, but had caught my ear In
the mangle while helping mother.)
That finished them off. I was asked
no more questions, and 1 told no more
lies. Anyway, not many more.
“So I settled down in quietude for
a bit and put on a pipe, but I hadn’t
had more than four draws, when our
solid-gold flunkey nips across to me
and tells me that p'lpes are not al
lowed.
" 'Kook here, Herbert,' I said, ‘you
go downstairs and feed the Peking
ese. I don't like you. Don’t come
here telling your betters the rules of
polite society. We know ’em, and,
strange as it may seem, Herbert, you
can depend upon me, common old
swaddy though 1 be, not to expector
ate unduly upon the Axminster. It
isn't done, Herbert. And now,’ I says,
■get thee behind me. Or, In other
words, hoppit!” He also left.
"Next thing, we were asked by her
ladyship if we come into the drawing
room, being very careful not to tread |
with our great common boots on the
polished oak floor. So we walked on
our hands, looking very picturesque.
‘‘In the drawing room they had rig
ged up a stage with searchlights and
curtain and their it was announced
that the lady’s daughter, the, Hon.
Kaura, would recite the first half of
Mister Dante's ‘Purgatorlo,’ with fire
work effects and pianoforte accom
paniment.
“D'you happen to know the 'I’urga
torio’ business? Oh, it was the dull
est lot of dilapidated drivel that ever
a damsel delivered to a doleful lot of
dismembered heroes, and that's putt
ing it mildly! And the Hon. I .aura
was all that and more. A thin, lanky
rasher that you couldn’t see when
she stood sideways. And you couldn’t
hear what she said, and you didn’t
want to, and you yawned most polite
behind your hat, and Laura droned
out Dante till I began to wish I was
down there with him.
"I asked Muckey Simmons how he
liked it as we came out. He sa’id
he hadn't been taking much notice of
what was going on, being very busy
carving his initials on the back of a
Louis Quinsey chair.
“But nowadays, when Sister comes
round looking for entertainment volu
nteers, I gets under the bedclothes
an<l shams dead.”
Iron 7s Greatest of Jill Strength
Builders, Saps Doctor
Jt Stent of the Gnat, Endurance and Power of JfthUtes
Ordinary Nuxatad Iron Will Make
Delicate, Nervous, Rundown Peo
plo 200 Per Cent. Stronger in
Two Week'* Time in
Many Cases.
NEW YOIOC, N. Y.—Most people
foolishly seem to think they are go
Ing to get renewed health and I
strength from some stimulating medi
cine secret nostrum or naracotic drug,
said Dr. Sauer, a Specialist who has
studied widely both in this country
and Europe when, as a matter of fuel,
real and true strength can only come
from the food you cat. liut people
often fall to gel the strength out of
their food because they haven't
enough iron in their blood to enable
it to change food into living matter.
From their weakened, nervous condi
tion they know something is wrong
but they can’t tell what, so they gen
erally commence doctoring for stom
ach, liver or kidney trouble or sym
ptoms of some other uilnicnt caused
by the lack of irou in the blood. This
thing may go on for years, while the
patient suffers untold agony. If you
are not strong or well, you owe it to
yourself to make the following test:
Wee how long you can work or how
lar you can walk without becoming
tired. Next take two flve-grain
tablets of ordinary nuxated iron three
times per day after meals for two
weeks. Then test your strength again
and see for yourself how much you
have gained. I have seen dozens of
nervous, run-down people who were
ailing all the while, double their
etrength and endurance and entirely
get rid of all symptoms of dyspepsia,
liver and other troubles in from ten
»e fourteen daye' time simply by tak
ing Iron In the proper form. And this
after they hud In some cases been
doctoring for months without obtain
ing any benefit. But don’t take ttie
old forms of reduced iron, iron acetate
or tincture of iron simply to save a
few cents. You must take iron in a
form that can be easily absorbed and
assimilated like nuxated iron if you
want it to do you any good, other
wise it may .prove worse than useless.
Many an athlete or prize-fighter has
won the day simply because he knew
the secret of great strength and en
durance and tilled his blood with iron
before he went into the affray, while
many another has gone down to in
glorious defeat simply for ttie lack
of iron.
Note.—Nuxated Iron recommended
above by I)r. Sauer is not u patent
medicine nor secret remedy, but one
which is well known to druggists and
whose iron constituents is widely pre
scribed by eminent physicians every
where. Unlike the older inorganic
Iron products, it is easily assimilated,
does not injure the teeth, make them
black, nor upset the stomach; on the
contrary, it is a most potent remedy,
in nearly all form3 of indigestion, as
well as for nervou3, run-down condi
tions. The Manufacturers have such
great confidence in Nuxated Iron that
they offer to forfeit $100.00 to any
charitable institution if they cannot
take any man or women under 60
who lack# iron and increase their
strength 200 per cent or over in four
weeks’ time provided they have no
seriou3 organic trouble. They also
offer to refund your money if it does
not at least double your strength and
endurance in ten days' time. It is
dispensed in this city by I,omcn Bros.,
(successors to Butler, Mauro t Co.),
and all other druggists.
Dream Theater
TONIGHT
The House
Of A Thousand
Scandals
4 Parts
Repeated Principals
May Allison & Harold Lockwood
TOMORROW NIGHT
* YANKEE FROM THE WEST
Repeated
Adm. 25c
ALASKA
NOTES
(From Our Exchanges.)
The Northwestern Fisheries is mak
'ing extensive improvements in its
cannery at Seldovn largely increas
ing its capacity.
Fa moron & Finnegan, who conduct
a pool room and cigar store at Flat
in the Iditarod country, were fined
$450 and costs recently for gambling.
Johnson and Anderson on upper
Long creek In the Ruby district, are
reported to be In ground that runs
*3 per foot and have already taken
out a big dump.
Two men from the fishing schooner
Knickerbocker are reported to have
made a big haul of codfish on one
set recently a short distance out of
Seward.
E. Hansen, while sk'i jumping at
Anchorage recently, broke his right
ankle. The accident was caused by
one of his straps holding his foot
when he fell.
After losing one of her propellers
and a portion of her shaft, the fishing
schooner Knickerbocker arrived at
Seward recently and will remain there
until the missing parts can be re
ceived from the States. 11
The halibut schooner San Juan of I
the San Juan Fishing Company’s
fleet, left the Cape Cleare banks a |
few days ago with a catch of 176,000 1
pounds of halibut caught at that1
place.
Judge Leopold David, who has
been seriously ill at Anchorage, is re
ported to have sufficiently recovered
to be up and take moderate exercise
and will be able to resume his official i
duties within a short time.
The Seward Fish Company, organ- j
ized recently by James and Oliver, 1
will act as agents for the Kena'i Fish- i
ing & Trading Company and will belt
in the market for all halibut, red |
snapper and black bass offered.
The bottom is reported to have j
dropped out of the trail between Kern I
Creek and Mile 40 on the Seward-An- j
chorage route, aud the mail con - I
tractor is using push cars on the rail
road between these points to trans- j
port the mail.
_
It has been reported by Harry T.
Itay of Fairbanks, that the govern
ment seeds usually sent out from i
Washington to Alaska about this time '
of the year, will be a little later than
j |
usual 'in arriving this year, for some | *
reason not stated. ,
I
Calling Card* at th* Nugget Office
SPRING TIME IS HERE
FOR THE BEST
LINE IN TAILORING
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For the best worn In tailoring see us. i
We make alterations.
We do cleaning, pressing and re
pairing for ladles and gentlemen.
\Ye make suits to order. I
First class workmanship, modern |
method and prompt service.
We appreciate your patronage.
Yours to please,
NOME TAILORING CO,.
Next door to Segerstrom & Hagen.
FIRE ALARM SIGNALS
1
*
- i
12 .Standard Oil Co. |
13 .Carstens Cold Storage ;
14 .J. J. Sesson Co, office j
15 .Headquarters Saloon I
21.The Lobby !
2i.Pioneers Igloo 1
25.Catholic Church
31 .Polet’s residence
32 .Yorkey’s Cigar Store
41.opp. Webb's Market
Engine House, Phone Main 97.
7 whistles water. 3 fire out
I\*
HYPRESS bopacs I
Since January first the prices on "Hypress” goods have been higher I
“outside" than in Nome. Huy your needs for the summer. jj
NOW I
When you buy rubber goods from us you know th y have not I
been In a cold storage warehouse. f;
P. A. PETERSON SHOE CO. |
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