CAN PICK STITCHES
I THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE II
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1 Clean Comics That Will Amuse Both Old and Young |
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THE FEATHERHEADS * £SSL_Circumstance
S’MATTER POP— Zipper, Zip, and Away It Goes __ By C. M. PAYNE
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MIDNIGHT SLIPPERS By gluyas williams
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HOW THE LIBRARY BEGAN
Bridegroom—I say, we were aw
fully bucked about this topping pres
ent. By the way, what are they?
Guest—Oh, a pair of bookends.
Bridegroom—How splendid! (To
the bride): Darling, these are book
ends. We really must buy a book.—
London Humorist.
Retired
“What is your occupation?” asked
the judge sternly.
“I haven’t any,” replied the pris
oner. “I just circulate around.”
"Please note,” said the judge to
the court clerk, “that this gentle
man is herewith retired from circu
lation for 30 days!”
Optimism Defeated
“If you can’t say something pleas
ant, keep quiet.”
“Impossible. I’m a weather fore
caster.”
Some Bird
Diner—What sort of a bird Is this?
Waiter—It’s a wood pigeon, sir.
Diner—I thought so. Get me a
saw.
| The Curse of Progress |
"There’s nothing but obstacles in
the path of that poor seamstress!"
"Don't you think she can thread
her way through?”
JUST A HABIT
I
Leopard—What’s old camel sora
about now?
Monkey—I dunno, he’s always got
his back up about something.
QUARTER NOTES
“Is it true that great singer’s
voice has broken?”
“Yes; I heard it last night in at
least four pieces.”
CLOSE YOUR EYES
Aunt Sarah—I don’t like to see
you use so much powder and rouge.
You know, “handsome is as hand
some does.”
Polly Makeup—Well, don’t you see
me doing it.
THAT’S SOMETHING
gT
“That isn't a very brilliant looking
policeman.”
“Well, his buttons sparkle any
way,”
SOUP’S ON!
First Fijian (after a fine dinner)—
Dat missionary shore done meh
good I
Second Fijian—Well, he said he
come yere to do good.
NOT OUTCLAWSED
1
Visiting Englishman—You have
no leisure clawses in this country,
what?
American—Sure, we have. Sit
down strikes and lockouts are gen
eral all over the land.
“How did he smash his business?"
"Ran into debt.”