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I I How do you like the looks of this, X
our 3rd number? Not a bad one is it? ^
The next will be better though, and J
those succeeding that one will each show i
improvement we hope—keeping step with — _ #
the advance of the town and district. J
$3.00 brings it for a Year j
$1.50 for six months \
If you need any job printing let us do £
it for you. We have the best, brighest ^
and newest job printing plant in South- \
eastern Alaska today, and all we wish is a £
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This Is It! I
LOCAL CURIOS
—When you see a young man his
necktie awry, discussing the mining
situation with an electric light post
at one o'clock, a. m., don't be too
sure that he has been indulging too
freely in the beverage that intoxi
cates. He may be only musing aloud
on the ways and means of riding the
"moral wave” into office next spring.
—There is a young lady living in
this town who grows daily in beauty
and in the number of her admirers.
The latter don't seem to know, how
ever, that just in proportion to the
improvement ^in her complexion, the
empty bottles of "bloom of youth”
increase and multiply in the back
yard of the family residense.
—There is probably no one thing in
the world that will roll so fast, and in
doing so make a man misapply
scriptural terms so furiously as a
plug hat on a rampage. A whole gale
of wind gets under such a tile and, as
you make a grab for it, it is wafted
majestically away in a bee line for the
nearest puddle of muddy water, creek
or gutter, into which it settles with
the most exaspertaing indifference
as to what the owner may do or say.
Curio has seen a good many men chase
heir hats, but never saw anybody
catch one until it concluded to stop of
its own accord, or brought up under
a wagon wheel or bob sled, or else
when some friendly pedestrian, com
ing from the opposite direction,
jumped upon it with both feet and
held it down in the mud or snow until
the owner came up and scripturally
enjoined upon its captor the necessity
of getting oft that hat p. d. q. We
saw a getleman, during a heavy gale
of snow a few weeks ago, indulge in
a race of that kind down Front street,
past the Hotel Stedman. It was ex
hilerating to see that hat—the only
one of its kind in town, by the way
—skim majesically along at a two
forty gait and laughable—perhaps
pitiable would be the better word— to
see the owner flounder through the
snow, and hear him snort and give ex
pression of unchristian adjectives,
his ears andd ambrosial locks floating
in the gale as grandly as the pennant
of the good ship, GracieD. when scud
ding before a breeze with Capt. Thom
as at the helm holding her "steady”
—but he caught the unruly vagrant
just as we approached, and then en
tered into an animated conversation
with himself, in which we caught
distinctly the word "darnolehat, ” and
something about his Satanic Majesty
and his place of residence which
wouldn't look well in print. And then
the ungrateful man poured a vial of
red hot wrath on our innocent head,
only because we congratulated him
upon his ability ns a sprinter, and sug
gestted that we would mention his ex
poit in the Curio column of the new
paj>er soon to make its bow to the pub
ic. He said if we did he'd send us
to a place where we'd become a
" darnedlivelyredhot Curio in less
than no time at all!” But he won’t—
'cause we'll get all our prescriptions
from some other doctor.
—"Father’'said a Ketchikan boy
the other Saturday morning,—the day
off from school —"Show me a place
to rest my lever, and I'll move the
world.” The old man didn't have
any worlds that he wanted moved just
at that particular time, so he showed
the ambitious youth out to the wood
pile and, pointing to the axe said,
"Pitch in there now, and split your
Sunday’s wood, or I’ll show you where
I'll rest a barrel stave; and if I do
you’ll think it’s big enough to move
half a dozen worlds.”
—When a certain Alaska newspaper
man was below last summer, he visit
ed a mind reader for the purpose of
testing that very singular and wonder
ful power some persons have of read
ing the minds of others. The mind
reader got him under focus and worked
away for half a day, but it was no go.
Finally he gave up in dispair, giving
as a reason that the conditions were
unfavorable. "Conditions!” said the
subject, "what conditions?” "Why,
you see,” said the peruser of thoughts
of others, "in the first place I’ve got
to have a mind to read; I can’t read
a perfect vacuum, or the inside of a
gas retort!”
The jury in the Chester Thompson
murder case, recently on trial at
Tacoma, Washington, sustained the
plea of insanity by rendering a verdict
of not guilty. It will be remembered
that Thompson, murdered in cold
blood, ex-judge Emory, who had for
bid him his house, the latter being
unarmed and having given no other
cause or provocation for the shooting.
The verdict was undoubtedly more the
result of the jury’s sympathy for the
father of Thompson, than of any
belief in the latter’s insanity. The
verdict caused much indignant com
ment, and now the question is what
disposition to make of the prisoner,
for such he is, notwithstanding the
verdict of acquittal. The father of
Thompson, who made the principal
plea in his defense, contends that the
murderer can not be sent to the peni
tentiary having l»een declared not
guilty, but the public prosecutor in
sists that he is a dangerous person
and should be sent to the pen for life.
J. S. Slater, he who was formerly
in the Customs service as inspector
afloat, making round trips on the
steamers between Mary Island and
Sitka, and whose principal duty it was
to seize contraband liquors, is in the
city the Imre site of which he used to
gaze upon from afar. Since leaving
the service he has given his attention
to prospecting in various parts of
Alaska, and has never turned a hair
or \opt *n,v of w# v\i tope pvoirdujpfr.
.;, ---- -- .
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DRAMA IN CACTUS CENTRE
We ain't sticklers, here in Cactus, fer
a fancy, gilt-edged art,
But we like to see it truthful when an
actor plays a part;
Which is why we broke the season of
a wholly western show
That played this here “Virginian" in
the hall not long ago.
We sot there all the even’, and we
liked the yarn fust rate,
But it seemed to us the cowboys was
n't hardly up to weight;
They didn’t look like punchers, as
they swung their way about, ,
So we flggered that next mornin’ we
would try the hull game out.
We led a bunch o’ buckers, with sad- ’
dies cinched up tight,
And we told them cowboy-actors they
could ride the bronks or light;
We’d set up drinks fer any that rode
their mounts up straight,
But the ones that couldn't make it
w’d shore have t’ pull their freight.
Well, we laffed so much that mornin’
that it’s hard to wear our belts,
Jest a-watchin' them there actors hit
the ground some awful welts;
And when the last one got up, lookin’
lobsterred from rage, *
Bear Hawkins yells: “Such ridin’ is
a blot upon the stage 1"
So we tied 'em on some burros, and
we chased ’em out of town,
While the ladies took the stage route,
lookin’ very much cast down;
And now, when western drammer into
Cactus takes its course,
There’ll be at least one actor who
knows how to ride a horse!
—Denver Republican.
COMES WITH WRONG END
Congressman Foster of Vermont is
certainly a witty public speaker. At
the guild rally at Springfield he kept
the audience in a continuous uproar of
mirth by his amusing sallies and
clever bon mots.
One of his stories is worth repeat
ing. He was speaking on the criti
cism that had been aimed at them by
saying certain things against the op
position and he offered as an excuse a
story about his father.
His father was working in the field
one day, when a vicious dog, belong
ing to a neighl)oring deacon, attacked
him. His father used a pitchfork
with telling effect on the dog.
Later he was called on by the dea
con, who upbraided him for using
such extreme measures, asking him
why he didn’t use the blunt end of
the fork first- “I would have,” his
father replied, “if your dog had come
me with his blunt end first.”—Boston
Post.
WANTED COMPANY
Dr. Chester at 2 o'clock of a bitter
winter morning, drove four miles to a
patient's house. On his arrival, the
patient said:
“Doctor, I ain't in any particular
pain, but, somehow or other, I feel
that death is nigh. ’ ’
Dr. Chester examined the man, felt
his pulse, listened to his heart. Then
he said:
“Have you made your will?”
The man's face fell, and he turned
pale. “Why, no, doctor. At my age
—there seemed time enough yet—oh,
Doc, it ain’t true, is it, that—”
“Who is your lawyer?” Dr. Chester
interrupted.
“Higginbotham. ”
“Then you had better send for him
at once,” said Chester curtly. “Who’s
your pastor?”
“The Rev. Kellogg M. Brown,” the
patient answered in a low, tremulous
voice. “But, doctor, do you think—”
“Send for him,” said Chester,
“post haste. Your mother, too,
should be summoned, also your—' ’
The patient began to blubber softly.
“Say, doctor, do you think I’m go
ing to die for sure?” he wailed.
Dr. Chester looking at him hard,
replied:
“No, I don’t. There’s nothing at>
all the matter with you. But I hate
to be the only man you’ve made a fool
of tonight.”—Los Angeles Times.
ANOTHER VIEWPOINT
Chapleigh—I—aw—nevnh associate
with those—aw—howid baseball play
ahs, doncher know.
Miss Caustique—I suppose not.
There are some things that even base
ball players won't stand for.
NO RELATION OF ZACH’S
“I am a nephew of Senator Zacha
riah Chandler, ” declared a man ar
rested for beating a hotel. The sena
tor, advised of the claim, answered:
“If he have not a strawberry mark
between his shoulders, have him
hanged. He is an impostor. If he
have a strawberry mark between his
shoulders, have him hanged anyway.
He is no relation of mine.’’—Detroit
News.
ONE WAY OF PAIRING OFF
A number of years ago, at a small
town in Maine, an important local
election was to take place, and there
was strong rivalry between the Repub
licans and Democrats. Old Hiram
Morse, the blacksmith, was a strong
Democrat, but many of the farmers
were Republicans.
On the morning of the election a
farmer came in to have his horse
shod. The blacksmith said to him:
“We're both busy. You're a Repul)
lican and I’m a Democrat. Let's pair ;
off. We’ll neither of us vote, and it
will amount to the same as if we both ,
went to the polls.”
This was agreed upon. After elec- i
tion it was found out that Morse had ■
paired off with five Republican farm- (
er».— Uwtco JJeraW. j
Outfits Are Our Specialty
We carry a complete line of General Mer
cnandise, Hardware, Crockery, etc. Our
Staple and Fancy Groceries are the Best
the Market affords and our Dry Goods are
this Year’s Style and Patterns.
NEWTOWN’S BUSY STORE
J. W. Young & Co.
LUMBER
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We Manufacture and keep in Stock I!
Spruce and Cedar
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Rough and Dressed Lnniber J!
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of all kinds ! |
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And are prepared to fill orders for same, large or 11
small. Our dry Kiln is now working so that we can 11
furnish dry material. I!
KETCHIKAN POWER CO.
I 1
Ketchikan - - Alaska ;
II
Union Steamship Company
Operating the
Str. Ella Rohlffs and launch Alert
Carrying Freight and Passengers to all points in the
Ketchikan Mining District
ALERT ELLA ROHLFFS
MONDAY, 8 a. m.—Metlakahtla, FRIDAY, 8 a. m.—Niblack, Bald
lyiblack, Balwdin, Dolomi and win and Dolomi.
Chomley. SATURDAY, 8 a. m.—Mt. And
WEDNESDAY, 8 a. m.—Metla- «^i’i«KaSaan’ Karta Ba'V and
rhomie’v Baldwi"’ Dol‘ SATURDAY, midnight, for Hunt
omi and C homley. . er’s Bay (!oppep ^ity, Copper.
THURSDAY, 8 a. m.— Mt. And- mount, Sulzer, Bruce, Klawack,
rew, Kasaan and Karta Bay. Shakan and Marble Creek.
F. H. BOLD General Agent
ONE WOMAN’S WAY
Husband—Why do you encourage
that Mrs. Tattles to keep calling so
often? Is it because you enjoy hear
ing the neighbors talked about?
Wife—Oh, no, but when she is here
I know she isn't somewhere else talk
ing about me.
DEFINING A CHEMIST
A good story comes from a Swedish
sorrespondent. It seems that Berze
lius, the great Swedish chemist, made
most of his experiments in the kitch
en, with his cook as his only assistant.
“What is your master?” asked one
of his neighbors.
“Oh, he is only a chemist.”
“What is that? What does he do?”
“Oh, he has something in a big
bottle, then he pours it into a smaller
one, and then again into quite a tiny
bottle.’’
“And then what happens?”
“Then I throw it away.’’—London
Express.
HIS BRIDAL LAYOUT
There lived a man near Franklin,
N. H., -who was known as the
“stingy” man. He was one of those
unfortunate lords of creation who had,
In a not very long life, put on mourn
ing for three departed wives. But
time assuages hearVwounds as well as
those of the flesh, and in due time a
Fourth mistress was inaugurated.
As has been said, he suffered noth
ing to be wasted—and as the new mis
tress was putting things to rights
while cleaning up an attic she came
icross a long piece of board. She was
ibout launching it out of the window
when little Sadie interposed and
jried:
“Oh, don't, mamma! That is the
lward papa lays his wives out on and
lie wants to save it.”—Boston Herald.
ONLY AN HONEST MAN
A lawyer at a circuit town in Ire
land dropped a £10 note under the
;able while playing cards at an inn.
He did not discover his loss until he
was going to bed, but then returned
immediately. On reaching the room
le was me by the waiter, who said:
“I know what you want; you have
ost something?”
“Yes, I have lost a £10 note.”
“Well, sir, I have found it, and
lere it is.”
“Thanks, my good lad; here's a
wvereign for you.”
“No, sir. I want no reward for
jeing honest; but,” looking at him
with a knowing grin, “wasn’t it a
food job that none of the gentlemen
WSd it?'’—Tit-Bjte,
The Bon Bonnerie
CHAS. COLE. Prop.
The New Candy Store
A Brand New Store
full of the best
CANDIES, FRUITS, NUTS
SOFT DRINKS Etc.
Opposite Hunt’s Meat Market
Ketchikan - - Alaska
Jirst-Class Service, Reasonable Rates
©
Ketchikan Restaurant
MANUEL DIAZ, Prop.
Regular Meals and Short
Orders Served
Table Furnished with Every
thing the Market
Affords.
Front Street, Near Wharves
Ketchikan, Alaska
J. L. Parker
MINING ENGINEER
Mining Properties Examined and Reported
ADDRESS
• Hotel Stedman, Ketchikan
The Fairfield, 6th and Madison, Seattle
Dr. HENRY C. STORY
Physician and Surgeon
Cor. Howdcn and Dock Sts.
Telephone from Ryus Drug Co. or
Connell & Thompson New Town
Ketchikan . . Alaska
L. D. RYUS
Civil Engineer und Surveyor, U. S.
Deputy Lund and Mineral Surveyor
Ketchikan . . Alaska
C. H. COSGROVE
Attorney-At-Law
Office, End of Front St.
Ketchikan . . Alaska
• S. A. Plumley
Attorney At Law
Office, Dock Street opposite
Heckman's Store
Ketchikam . . Alaska
DR. J. L. MYERS
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Physician and Surgeon
Office at Residence, Muln Street
I^etcbikan • * Alaska