RANDOM SHOTS.

[BY ZAMIELJ

Some write, a neighbour's namo to lash. Some write—vain thought-for neodfu, cash, Some write to please the country clash, And raise a din. For me an aim I never fash—

"A Mebry Christmas and a Happy Ne^ Year!" My regular readers will excuse « my late congratulation when they remem ber that for the past fortnight "Zamiel" has been crushed out of sight by the holi day rejoicings, and his weak "random shots " can only be faintly heard, oven yet, amid the "boom" of the entrance of the Jubilee Year, 18S7. But after we have shaken hands all round and partaken of the üßual " guid-willie wacht," may we not ask, dear reader, whether the salutation with which I have opened is not a piece of con aummato irony at* the present time . " Merry Christmas " indeed, when all tho world is groaning under heavy depres sion, when the incubus of Stagnation seems strangling Industry, and when the gaunt skeleton of Insolvency has its bony fingers on tho throat of Trade I •• A Happy New Year," forsooth, when tho honest poor are battling with want, and the wicked rich are surpassing all their former devilish rites at the shrine of Immorality ; when all the civilised nations of Christen dom are arming for war, and when a mad despot is frenziedly striving to eet two millions of men at each other's throats be cause a few wrotchod thousands have dared to oppose his high will! Avno Domini 1887 has trulybeenushoredinunrfermostin auspicious circumstances. Tho '"Year of Our Lord" seemß verily a title bestowed ia satire, when we remember that our Lord was called the " Frince of Peace" and that His advent was the inauguration of "goodwill towards men 1" Yet though Expectation has sunk' Into my boots, it ia with Hope gleaming in Hiy eyes and Love glowing in my heart, that I wish one and all a happy Now Year! "With Tennyson, "I trust that somehow good will be the final goal of ill;" and if we all go forward to the duties of life with that faith we may oacb be strengthened to perform our duties so that ISS7 shall hasten the desired consummation.

- "A Wicked Old Fool" writes a plaintive letter, in which he pours out the agonies of hissoul about thebrutal sentiments which he hasheard utteredhere regardine the Scottish observance of the New Year in preference to Christmas. Four years ago (mark how the iron entered his soul when he can remember so accurately) be states that during a steam boat excursion in connection with a Presbyterian Church, the beadle fell down between the wharf and the boat; and when he was fished out little the worse, one of the steamboat hands remarked—"l wish tha old brute had been drowned 1 Why don't the Scotch keep Christmas like othor people'" My correspondent let this pass without resenting it; but this year Mr- John Bull has remarked to him personally that he is "nothing but a wicked old fool for not keeping Christmas like other respectable people I" . Thereupon he pours forth his soul in this wise : "Now, "oh Zaroiel, would I be one of tbe decent people if I was to sacrifice geese, turkeys, fowls, plum puddings, and drink beer at Christmas time; besides attend horse-racing, dog and cock-fightine, and do all this in honour of Christ and His birth day ? In conclusion, Mr J. 8., may I ask you if Saturday be the lSS6th birthday of Christ, why don't you make the following day ISS7, and not wait to the holiday which I keep-the New Year's. Day ?" This sounds like a poser; but perhaps Johu Bull has still a shot in the locker. For my own part if I were asked to say which is the better holiday of the two, I should anßwer after the Scotchman's faßhion by saying— » Baith's best!"

Popular ideas are often fallacious, and though this truth scarcely requires exempli fication, a little incidout or two bearing up on it may be recorded. There is a popular idea that intoxicating drinks are not to be had in the King Country for love or money ; let us see, doar reader, how that accords with fact. During the recent excursion to Kawhia, " the key of the A-ing Country, as it has been called, a goodly-sized cask might have been seen lying on the beach evidently full of somo fluid Bubstance, while the label afforded some slight clue as to the nature of the contents. It was explained that this was just a little beer tbat had been ordered specially to treat the Auckland visitors ; but I am told that when the cask had been broached and invitations given to " irrigate" not a soli tary soul of all the Auckland crowd would partake. So firmly fixed apparently was the Idea that nothing to drink could be got in the King Country that all the " drouthy customers" in Auckland bad fought shy of the excursion. The presence of such a goodly company of teetotallers took the breath from the Kawhia folks; but now that they know the reason why they may recover. And since I have let it be known that " waipiro " is not altogether unknown in those parts, I expect that the next ex cursion to Kawhia will carry fully doublo the number of visitors that went down laat week. _.

*♦* * « * * But the good folks of Auckland will still probably hug this delusion—" Oh yes, the Europeans in the King Country may have their tot; but it will be a severely punish able offence to give intoxicants to the natives 1" Alas 1 even this comfortable de lusion must go. The actions of some of the natives in the course of _ the day were marked by a certain wild enthusiasm and abandon of manner which usually characterise people who are/in "sood spiritß." Yes, dear boys, there s drink to be got in the King Country ; and the more it is prohibited the more will it be prized, and the Maoris will simply have to pay a little more for their indulgence than they would if they had Free Trade instead of Protection.

So, our "Coming X" has shocked the Sabbatarian Mrs Grundy, and "insulted the colonies " by holding a business meeting on a Sunday, and inviting tho Agents- General to sin with him. It was, of course, very naughty for Albert Edward to do anything secular* however meritorious, on the day that is declared "sacred to sloth ;" but I don't sympathise a little bit with the tremendous fuss that has been made about Mb offence, which has been magnified as though it were as bad as letter-writing to Lady Colin Campbell. And even supposing it were as bad, the dear boy might have been left to his mamma's slipper treatment, which never fails to bring him to his senses. The Rev. Alex. Reid is a stern unbending Scottish Wesleyan of this city, who has the courage of his opinions, and he has interpreted the Prince's action as almoßt equivalent to high treason. " If," said Mr Reid in his recent impaasioned reference to this matter, "I wanted to find the traitors to the throne, I should not go to the Land Leaguers, or Nationalists, nor even to Ireland at all. They are to be found within the shadow of the throne itself."

These be brave words, but it Beems to me that the Puritanic zeal of such orators is altogether misdirected. If they could per suade or frighten men into living honest, cleanly lives every day of tbe week, and if they could get H.R.H. Albert Edward in particular to manifest continuously the same warm interest in public affairs that he has shown in the recent Exhibition and in the projected Imperial Institute, the Sab bath or Sunday might very well be left to take care of itself. The assertion that the Prince's recovery from fever waa duo to the prayers of the Sabbatarians shows that ii the days of miracles are past, the race of be lievers in miracles is not vet extinct. Some

people will, doubtless, see irreligious ten dencies in the action of the Heir Apparent, and will indulge in gloomy forebodings of revolution and disaster which shall overtake the glorious realm of England when the good Queen, whoao jubilee year has just commenced; shall have gone the way of all flesh and loft to ber sou the vast responsi bilities of the Empire. But it will possibly be found that the future King of England is acting wisely in en deavouring to liberalise the observance of Sunday. The revolutionary party in Eng land are not Sabbatarianß, and thoy will all be co pleased at the Prince's action tbat they will vote him " a jolly good fellow," and swear tho most devoted loyalty to his throne and person.

It should be remembered, too, that the traditions of the English Court are rather in favour of a rational enjoyment of Sunday, inßtead of making it a day of gloom and penal suffering. The late Prince Albert liked to enjoy a game of cheason a Sunday ; but under Victoria's stern sway he had to forego that bit of innocent recreation. But going to earlier times. I find that when George 111. was king, tho Cabinet dinners always took place on Sunday, lawyers gave consultations on that day, and ladies of fashion gave their smartest card parties on it. Under George IV., the Bishop of Exeter usually dined at Carlton House on Sunday, but in deference to the* eacred day, de clined to take a hand at whist until tho clock indicated high noon. It was, indeed, common foi high ecclesiastical dignitaries to have big dinners on Sundaye, where wine and spirits flowed freely, and all was conviviality. Although Sunday parties havo gone rather out of faßhion since the days of William IV., theyareaga ..becoming the mode in London, doubtless owing to the high example of " friend Wales," as Artemus Ward loved to call him. I am no Puritan, but I would draw tho line nt holding business meetincs on Sunday, though I would not condemn tho hoHing of such as treason to the Crown. For I re member a highly respectable Scot whom I once knew—an elder of tho "auld Kirk to boot-who used to do all his book-keep ing on Sundays, after having saved ap pearances by attending the morning service I And surely when such things can be done in a green tree, a quiet business confabula tion may be allowed in the dry !

A little incident showing the tendencies of the timos in a bold light is thus narrated by a correspondent:—Within the past /ew weeks one of our deservedly popular preachers discoursed on the Sunday even itii' on the parable of the Good Samaritan. Wishing to follow up the teaching on the folio wing Wednesday ovening, the preacher read v'-o his audience selections from Sims's work " How the Poor Live in London," which wore much appreciated. Did tho pulpit but know how eager the poople are to como into contact with truths of to-day, and woulo those who manifestly have no ability to d.oal with such topics find some othor sphere of Christian usefulness empty churches wofld be the exception, rathor than the rulo. To fully understand the significance of .the above incident, it must be'iomembered .that G. R. Simß is a play wright, novelist, journalist, and poet—one of tbo class which some preachers would condemn as being In leacue with Bee lzobub, yet whom this truly liberal pioacher does not disdain to accep.t as a co-worker in the vineyard hitherto looked upon as most select.

A rather good story, aud a true one too, which mates it more interesting, ia told with great gusto by a genial Auckland run holder. It illustrates one of those numer ous scrapes neiv chum formers may fall into before they have gained that all Im portant Sine quanon, "colonial experience. In the neighbourhood of tbe run, some years ago, a former fresh from the old coun try was looking rounW for land to settle on, and was, with that object in view, wander ing through the bush.Cattlemarksand finally cattle themselves ware seen all around, which his Maori guide informed him were ownerless and wild. There wns the placo to farm, thought ho, and hurried away to town, afraid lest unyono else should wander that way and c. t him out from buying, as he expreßsed it, " a run already stocked." The farm at last wan his property, and he settled on it with his family. For seme weeks n slaughter of the wild (?) cattle went on. Theso new chumß made no secret of it, but ra'her boasted of their shrewd ness in obtaining such a gem af a Bpot. ''Such a country," they said to their friends, "swarming with wild ca'tlo. No need of stocking it. They had bought a stocked farm for the price of virgin forest;' ond they chuckled at their own cleverness. The story got repented about, and at last reached the runholdor's ears. Ho made inquiries. Result: (1) That several of his beasts had disappeared ; (2) that thn new chums' property adjoined his own. Finally it ended in our new chum friends gettloe n rather startling letter from the runholder giving the value of one dozen fd'ur year-old steers belonging to him tliat were missing, and asking : " Shall I proceed civilly or criminally against you r

Archdeacon Farrar on the Best Rooks.

Archdeacon Farbar attended a conference of the Sunday School Union, and in the course of his speech made the following re marks on books and how to read them :— Some of them must have been a little shocked to hear that novels occupied such a prominent position in the reading of the lady teachers, but he would not have them too much distressed or shocked ; for, in the first place, the very same thing was found in every library under the sun ; and, in the second, where fiction was pure and strong, it might be a very valuable teacher. He must confess that he was a little diaappeinted to hear that so fow of the books read are of a Biblical char acter. The Bible was a whoi'e collec tions of books, separated from ea-ih other by many hundreds of years, and to explain it we wanted a new library full of imforma tion upon all topics. They must no* sup pose, however, that in largely directing their reading to the Bible they were in any way limiting the sphere of their intelligence, for many of the greatest men who had ever lived had borne testimony to the inestinuable educational value of the Bible. He thought thore was a great tendency to the present day to read too indiscriminately and to read great rubbish. When any of the.tn were engaged in any real and serious study, he did not think that they would do them selves any harm by allowing themselves a little desultory "reading, but if they gave their whole time to it he could not imagine anything worse. Ab to the sub ject of reading in general he would not put his ban upon desultory reading, but be thought there was not enough of reading books for life. One of the most cultivated men he had known had tbe smallest library he had ever seen, for bo bad about a dozen books, and they were the works of master minds. He thought that, if they used such books as Marcus Aurelius's works, which contained the very flower of Hagon moral ity ; the " Imitatio Christi," fn which were sonje of the most precious religious thoughts ; and added to these .«uch authors as Dante, Shakspere, and Milton, they would have in these five the thoughts of the very greatest minds, and enough to last any man a lifetime when taken in connection with the Book which they had set them selves to teach. He would give them a little advice as to reading. First of all, they should read, not merely skim ; and secondly, read what was really good, and notrubbish.for life was tooshort to be wasted upon that. And next he would ask them to think. The habit of thinking, owing to the diffusion of popular literature, was becoming more and more rare. He weuld say also, "Copy." A great many people read what was excellent, but lost it almost as,soon as they read it. For years—from his boyhood —his habit had been when he came to any passage or thought which seemed to him of striking excellence to racke a pencil-mark at the end of the page, and then when he hod road the whole book through, and if he founid on reading a second time the passage he had marked that it contained new and valuable thought, he wrote it down, and he waa quite sure that any one who had not some practico of that kind must lose the very beat i pf what they read-

THE GARDEN.

[By Hortds.]

Calendar of Operations, January 8.

[Hortus Is willing to answer any queries. Cor respondents must, givo their full namos and addressos. though not for publication.!

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Training Tomatoes ("Amateur")^-(D The best form of Bupport for your tomatofts is a trellis. If your plants are planted in » row. drive strong stakoß somo aiatanoe into the ground. The otakes must be strong, as ttbsy have to support the whole weight of fruit and plant. Alter the stakea are driven tie lieht oroeabars to them—abmit four nr five will be sulluilent. and ths ton bar about four feet from the ground. The plant, aa it crows, Is tied up to thrse bar 3. (2. Liquid manure, about three gallons a weok. will be f-ullliient for each plant at prnsont. increasing tne quantity as tho plant inorcaseo in slz" and fruittulness. l havu nevor tried the Auckland Freezing Com pany's patent manure, but I am told it makca capital liquid manure.

Poiidtukawa ("A.F.B. ..-You can obtain any n.mntity of seed in a few wades'time. men aend it homo to Kngland ; that ia much cheapor than plantß. Unices tho nwipitants gro.it under glass it is I'ttle uso sending, asi it would not atand ontin theopopiairin England, "ur ine tbe winter the frost would kill it. \ our friends could obtain plants from any ot the lending British nurserymen. To obtain plants here gat them at any of tho nurseries or obtain young 30*dlii'S3 from the cl.Ul'a during noxt winter. They transplant easily.

Draining New Garden (Query).—\ou could not do bettsr than continue tho draining, ut courso you will Und it much harder work now thin it would he whon the toil is moist, in thn winter time, bat tho bonili. io be dorivea from draining in dry weather will more than rocoiuponse you for tho extra labour. 1 also think you would be bettor to go six inches deeper, aa for garden purDoeea two f«et six is rather too little. After tho ti encli ia taken out put the Ulna in the bottom and let the drama atandopen forßomo time—lhelongertliebutter. Tiioflun'a rays will open out large Assures in tho sides whuih will never entirely done, thus giving much better acc-ss of water to tho ti os. When 'ou trench, do it during tho dry weatnur also. Y>u will soon find that, it la anvanta"- e ous to labour all stiff rlny noils in dry weuthcr. The beat manurotouae would be stable, aa is will keen tho soil open.

Kitchen Garden.

Finish planting out tho main crop of celery and leaks ; thon tie up tho leaves of the earlier crops and earth up. Always loavo from six to eight inches of tho foliago above the surface Water frequently, sometimes adding liquid manuro. The main crop of BruEsel sprouts, cabbage, savoy and broccoli should be planted out now if not already done. Beforo planting got somo cow droppings and mix with water, making a thick paste, and puddle the roots therein before planting. After planting wator, co ns to settle the soil about the roots, sow a small patch of crtbbagoand cauliflower seed for early autnmn planting. Sow in a cool, shady, moist place, and water frequently. Tomatoes should now bo making rapid growth ; frequently pinch and tie up. Never allow more wood to grow than is absolutely required for carrying tbe crop. Give each plant liquid manure at least onco a week. Cucumbers, marrows, pumpkins.otc : Pinch any superfluous growth, and water occa sionally. Small salad in gs : Sow fortnightly in cool ond moiet situations. Peas : Earth up and stako the tall growing vanoties, clear away the haulm of crops which are past manure, and dig the ground for early autumn cropping, thus getting tho noil woll sweetened by the exposure to tho dry sum mer woather. Beans : Earth up, aud stake the tall, running varieties. French : Earth up and make tho usuol successional sowings. Keep the hoe occasionally stirring up the surface soil botweon the rows of all growing crops of vegetables, thus keeping the weeds under, and at the same time promoting a better atmospheric action to tho roots. Nover waste a singlo drop of dirty water from the house; apply it either to the flowers or vegetables. Also, any litter in tho way of long grass, straw, or s'milar materials place between tho rows ; it will act as a mulcb, koepiog tho roots coolor and moistor. Give all crops which requiro water an occasional doso of liquid manure. Flower Garden. The late dry hot weather will be tolling on a large number of the flowers in tho bedH or borders. Give unlimited supplies of wator wherever it can be obtained, bo as to prolong the blooming period as long as possible. A small quantity of water is worso than useless, as it frequently brings the rootlets to tho surface, where thoy get scorched by the fioice rays of tho sun. Bedding plants: Pinch nnd peg down. Try and cover tho ground, and where possible to obtain material for mulching, still continue to apply it. In tho mixed borders continue staking and tieing all tall growing plants, and thinning out all rank growing shoots, picking oft all spikes on which the blooms aro spent. Nover allow t'.ie plants to mature seed unless you specially wish to retain the strain ; matur ing cued only weakens other flowering spikes. Dahlias will now require to be watered frequently, occasionally giving-a little liquid manure. All the dobris of annuals should be cleared off as soon as the flowers are gone. CoxßCorabs, balsams, i ond other strong-feeding plants should be watered with liquid manuro at least once a week. Mow the surface Boil of the borders frequently with the hoe, so as to keep it free, and checking the growth of weeds. Lawns, unless where thero has been plenty of wator used, will be nearly burned up. Where they are still in good ordor, mow, sweep, nnd roll, and etill give plenty of water ii." the evening. Walks: Rake and roll frequently, so as to give the pleasure ground as neat and tidy on appearance aa possible. Often the appear ance of the garden depends more on ita tidy look than on tho profuso display of I flowers.

Greenhouse. Growth is now very active. Give pla nty of air and water. Coleus, etc., pinch ami re pot into larger pota as they require niore pot room. Climbers : Attend to the tieiog up and regulating tho shoots. Stop aU rank growing shoots on floworing plants ay soon as thdy makes their appearance. Tube rous rooted bsgonias.coleus aud all plants of a similar free habit ot growth give liberal supplies ot liquid manure. If any plant ehould show signs of sufforing from the want of water dip the pot into a bucket of water;let it stand in such for a few minutes. Look after ineects, keep them under, still continue the shading of the house every day. Garden Notes. Deep tillage means enlaiged resources when practised in heavy lands. In putting up fruit for the market it is wise to have character uniform from top to bottom of package. Heavy winds that shake off a great deal of .fruit do not always diminish yield, for what is left grows larger, somotimc so much superior in size and appearance as to overbalance all apparent loss. Weed and hoe the onions, peas and all of the garden vegetables, harrow the "potatoes ogam, roplant the corn and commence ploughing it the very day it is larg;e enough. Keep the ground which the crops occupy free from weeds, loose and mellow.

When prices of farm products are low through a long period of time farmers got disheartened ond offer their lands for sale, but when these conditions prevail thero aro few buyers, and this is fortunate, because the upward turn is sure to come when per severance is rewarded. Tbe public would be greatly accommo dated if overy farmer would orect in a con spicuous place on the farm his name in order that travellers might be guided there by. This would savo every husbandman the thankless and arduous task of answering hundreds of questions, and would direct persons 160 them who hod business to tran sact. If a farmer had bst five or six inches of soil lying' on smooth rock hard and im pervious, he would expect only moderate crops and exhaustion would soon be reachod- But it is not much better to have such shallow soil' on compact earth nevor pene trated by the plough. Break the earth below, at least enough to test it, for it may be a mine of wealth. Kerosene oil applied to the roosts in small quantities will kill parasites. Plaster of Paris scattered over the floors of fowl houses is a purifying absorbent, preventing the smell which arises. The nests must be ; occasionally renewed and kept clean. Straw is better than hay. Tobaco stems covered with straw are an excellent preventive of insect breeding, especially when the beaa "je setting.

SUICIDE OF FRED. ARCHER.

. ARTICULAR. OF HIS UNPARAL LELED CAREER.

personal Kei:iinlscence3'

(From Ode London Correspondent.)

Sensation Caused iiy Kxm ok Archer's SUICIDE-WHAT CAUSED WIS jLLNESS-FAI AL KFFECTB OF Wastino-Tiie ,3T. MiRW Dis- AI. OINTMKNT-HEAVY LOS3.TO- ARCHER s Last _. tot-Typhoid Fetor - Suicide Whilst in a State op Delirium-Reminis cences of archer's Caueer—Th_ "Truth GB___3 Cour-WHVItFAII.ED-AT.-.ANT.C S 2.000G5.-GI.OVKB, ARCHER'S RIVAL-.~o_ n. Historic Finisi iks-Galliabd's 2,00. s. Melton's Derby-Radius Archer 'Covin Never Win-Particulars of His Cii.'EF Successes—More Reminisckkobs-A. AP PRECIATIVE Memoiu-Abchkr's Will.

London, Novomber 12. The sudden and wliolly-unexpocted an nouncement of poor Fred Archer's death on Monday afternoon created a creator sen sation throughout the throe kingdoms than would the demise of many a royal princo. Turfites more ospecially—from 11. R.H. ot Sandringham down to tho lowest Fleet street "punter" — were unaffectedly shocked and concerned ; in fact, at the Vic toria and the Albert Clubs all business was at onco stopped for tho day, oven tho noisest of bookmakers being silenced by tho sad intelligence. The deplorable catastrophe which line fpo prematurely onded tho career of tho most famous horseman of modorn times is traced originally to the severo wasting which ho was obliged to undergo in order to ride St. Mirin at Sst 71b in the Cambridgeshire. The Duchesß of Montrose's colt, had (as I told you, I think, at the time) boen boaten two lengtiha in the home trial at Munton by Carltonf St. Mirin was then, bowovo.-, ridden by a stable boy, and Archer believer! that if he could only fine down to the re quisite weight his services would moro than counterbalance the two lengths' beating. So strongty was ho of this opinion that he backed St. Mirin to win bim £8,000, and besides undergoing all tho usual wasting processes, literally starved himself for throe whole days beforo tho race. Ho was very weak when ho got into tho saddle on the eventful aftornoon, and no doubt this had something to do with the lack of vigour which several sham gentlemen nvorred they noticed about his finishing. However, like ovoryono else (net alongside .judge Clark 8 box), poor Fred thought hod just won, and tho disappointment of seoiay Sailor Princo's number go up, coming on top of a run of bad luck, no doubt seriously ulfected him. Ho eoomod, novor tholess, all right at Brighton tho following week, though the weather was simply awful, rain descending in torrents through outthetwodays'meeting. Archorhadsevoral mounts, but none of them winning one", and ho went on to Lowes in o very gloomy frame of mind. On Thursday afternoon he complained of being ill, but rode Lucretius in tho first raco on tho Southdowns, coming in a bad third. Ho would thon have re turned home, but Mr Crest had engaged him to ride a supposed "good thing, in Tommy Tittlomouso for tho Castle Plate, and it soomed ungracious to loavo his friend in the lurch. So for the last time in this lifo tho ailing " Tin-man " woighed out and sought the starting post. Odds of 13 to 8 were laid on hia mount against a fairish Hold, but tho poor follow was too ill to extond his horse, and Tommy Tittle mouse never figured in tho van. On dis mounting Archer confessed to feeling vory bid, and askod Garry, tho trainer, to see him homo safely to Newmarket. En route he appoarod to got a littlo bettor, but next morning typhpid fevor unmistakeably de clared itself. On Saturday^ ho was pro nounced dangorously ill. From the first Arcbor himself declared his conviction that he should die. The Newmarket corres pondent of tho " Sportsman " says :

He was, howover, very dopreßsod in his mind, ond, we understand, appeared to en tertain a firm belief that he would never get bettor. Tho full details of tho subsequent ovents will doubtless bn mado clear at the inquest, but from inquiries wo havo made we bplieve the following oro tho facts of tho painful occurrence:—Cupt. Bowling (who with Mrs Coleman, Archer's sister, and his brother Charles have been so constant nnd solicitous in their caro of tho sullbrer) loft Falmouth Houte about half-paßt ouo to meet a gentleman who was coming down by train from London. During his absence the Bufferer was attended by Mrs Coleman nnd a nume. Shortly beforo two o'clock Archer said that it was of no use keeping tho nurse, and told her to go down and got her dinner. She did so, leaving the fiatient with his sister. Mrs Colemnn went to look out of the window for a moment, nnd when sho turned round she saw that hor brother had risen from his bed and was tottering across the room, Sho ran towards him and caught hold of him. The poor fellow, however, put one atm round hor neck and pressed her tightly against him. With the other hand he grasped a revolvor ho had concealed, and putting tho barrel io his mouth fired and fell dead. Within a few moments of the awful occurrence Mr Wright and Capt. Bowling, with his friend, drove up. Life was, of course, extinct. It was, however, found that tho bullet hod gone cloan through the base of tho skull, severing the spinal cord, so that death must havo been instantaneous. Thero can be little doubt, although ho was apparently conscious and sensible early in the day, that his brain was disturbed by the ravages of the terrible foyer. The bullet was sub quently picked up on the dressing-table. The revolver is an ordinary six-chambered weapon, which was kopt in the houso in case of burglars.

The news of the shocking occurrence reached London about 4 on Monday atter noon, and created tho utmost sensation. In tho suburban-tram", in tram cars, and in the streets it was almost tho sole toriic of con vereatioo, and hud Archer been a dis tinguished diplomatist, or evon a member of tho regnant crownod family, grentor con .cern could hardly have boen manifested. L ater on special and extra-special editions of thil ovenincr papers wore issued, and railway stations were thronged with itinerant news boys ofl'ering them for sale. So anxious were s üburban travellers leaving town tc. ob tain co Dies in tho rush and hurry to catch their trains that silver coins in many in stances i\ "ere given for tho sheets as fast as the paport', without being folded, could be withdrawn from the bundles which each lad carried.

The first ot'eation I svw Fred Archer was in the paddock at Epsom, on the afternoon that George Frederick won tho Derby (IS7-1). He was ,it that timo a weedy strip of a 6st lad, all legs' ar.d arms. Plenty of mon, however, belioved in the youngster even then, and followed his mounts. Only that vory spring ho had pulled off a pretty coup for Fred Swindells' on Tomahawk, in the Lincolnahiro Handicap, and wou the Two Thousand on Atlantic, carrying 2st 121b of leads in his saddle. Lord Fal mouth couldn't make up his mind to put up such a heap of dead w.vight on tho colt for the Dorby, so Tom Osborne had the mount, but Atlantic could hardly got third, in fact tho eon of Hurricane's only victories were secured whon Archer waa' in tho saddle.

One of tho earliest coups the poor " Tin man " was over associated with sboutd have come off, I remember, that autumn. Fred Swindells got a carofally-aaved dark 'un (an unnamed four-year-old geid ing by Watcba out of Truth) into the Cosarewitcli at f>3t, The boast could stay for ever, and Swindells triod it ->early a certainty. Archer had then grown con siderably, and to got down to 6st bad to waste hard. 'Twould, it turned out, have batter to have put up a few pounds over weight, for after the long, tiring ride ovor the Cesarewitch course tho poor boy was dead beat, and Glover (a pocket Hercules) on tbe Manton outsider Avonturiere just beat him a head. This little mischance made a difference to Fred Swindells of some £40,000. Glover was then Archer's chief rival, and seemed to have on equally brilliant future before him. Unfortunately, he had not poor Fred's well-balanced mind and sound com mon sense. Sucnoss turned his brain. He lived too well and botted too highly. Then Master Glover disappeared from the turf firmament. During tho 14 years of Archer's turf career he rode many wonderful finishes. Probably, howevor, those for tbe Two Thousand and Dorby of last year, for tho Derby of ISSO. and for the Two Thousand

of 1883, will be longest remembered and oftenost talked about. His victory on Galliard for the latter was certainly a masterpiece of horsemanship. According to thoso who wore be«iclo the Judge s box, Goldfield had his neck well in front a yard or so from homo. Galliard, in foot, was beaten, but Archer giving the colt a sting ing rib-binder just at. the right moment, seemed almost to lift it forward, and won by a head in tbe post, though he was behind again a few seconds later. Iho great jockey employed similar tactics on Melton when running with Paradox at Ep som. Of this Dorby 'twas indeed truly said Archer could have won on either first or "i"" remember hearing a pretensioua "sharp" in a railway carriage declare that when there was a close finish botweon Archer and any other jockey Judge Clark usually gave tbo champion the benefit ot the doubt. Nothing could bo untruer than this statement, which only could have beon made by a very ignorant person. Judge Clark, it is well known, cordially disliked both tbe brothers Archer, and has given re peated indications of the fact. So seriously 1. deed did his belief that Archer pulled GiMliard for tho Dorby of '83 (in order tbat bis brother's colt Highland Chief might win) prejudice the old fellows , judgment, that he gave tbe race to , St. Blaise, though Highland Chief won (os all the Grand Stand, at least, fully believed. The record of Fred Archer's turf triumphs completely throws into the Bhade the achievements of all previous knights of the pig-skin. It is indeed highly improbable they will ever ajfain be equalled, ac the con ditions under which ho gained such unex- j am plod successes are ohanging. Archer's first public appearance in the saddle was at Chestorfieldpn 1870, when he piloted Athol Lass to victory in a small Nursery, Few then imagined tbat the ; jockey whose deeds were to outrival the achievements of Buckle, Chifney. Kobinson, Frank Butler. Nat Flint wan, Will Soon, Wells, Constable, and even Fordham, stood before them. Young Frod's time, however, was not long coming. Threo yoars later he contested with Constable tho proud position ; of jockey with tho largest number of wm- | ning mounts for the season. Constable beat him in 1573 by 2 (the numbers being 100 nnd 107); but next year, 187 . Archer re cured it, and for thirteen seasons— e*er since in fact- ho has been facile princeps. Excluding Irish and Fronch mounts, Archer haß since IS7O ridden 5.084 times, nnd scored 2,748 victories, an avoragj of rather moro than ono win for every thioo trios. The following table from tie " Sportsman " shows at a glance his position nt the closo of oach racing season eincu IS7O :— years. Mounts. Wins. 1886 512 ™. *l>_s ««7 2*6 •ISSt I'll £j *iKS 2 Em 210 ' ■»__ r. ...r.. s-12 2M MS. 318 I™ • 1579 SUB 187 »1_ 8 ....:....: BID 2211 *1877 <soa ..- ?'? ♦IS7B 811! 2117 ♦1875 .._ IWS 1'; •1874 .I'M ■• M tltC'l 421 IJ7 1872 .:....:::... isu 27 1871 40 J 1870 15 2 In tho yeara marked (*) he headed the list of winning jookoys at the end of the soanoii. Although Archor steered tho winners of nearly all our more important races several times over, thore were ono or two that obstinately eluded his grasp. He could never, for example, win either the Ascot Gold Cup or tho Cambridgeshire, notwith standing ho rode in both annually. The Cambridgeshire he specially longed to win, but though ho repeatedly got second or third, somehow just missed victory. The Goodwood Stakes and Cup were alflO un lucky races for him. Turning to the groat events the "Tin man " won, we find he carried off tho Derby (five times) on Silvio, Bend Or, Iroquois, Melton and Ormonde ; the Oaks on Spin away, Jannette, Whool of Fortune, and Lonolv ; the Leger on Silvio, Jannette, Iroquois, Dutch Oven, Melton and Or monde; tho Two Thousand on Atlantic, Chaubert, Galliard, Paradox and Ormonde; the One Thousaud on Spinaway and Wheel of Fortune; the Prince of Walos's Stakes at Ascot on Wheel of Fortune, Iroquoia nnd Galliard : the Grand Prize of Paris on Bruce, Paradox and Minting; and tho Champion Stakes on Jannette, Bend Or, Tristan, Paradox and Ormonde.

In handicaps Arcbor'd chief successes wore on Snlvnnos and Ro?ebery in the Cesarewitch ; on Thunder, Julius Cicsar, Parole, Master Kildoro, and Bend Or in the City and Suburban ; on Poter and Julius Cesar in the Ascot Hunt Cup; on Lilian and the Mato in tho Ebor Handicap ; on Modona and Trappisfc in tho Stewards, Cup at Goodwocd ; on Activity, Master Kildare and Thobais in the Liverpool Cup.

His rtuccosscs in leading two-year races include oight victories in the Clearwell Stakes at Newmarket, throe Middle Park Plates, seven Champagne Stakes, four Cri terion Stakes, five Dewhurst Plateß, six Goodwood Richmond Stakes, four Chester field Stakes, four Hopeful Stakes and six triumphs in the Woodcoto at Epsom. In Cup races Archer had not such good luck : four victories in tbe Queen's Vaao at Ascot, two Jockey Club Cups, throo York Cups, two Alexandra Plates and a single Doncaster Cup forming tho record. It is a singular and interesting fact that though Lord Falmouth has practically re tired from tho turf, and only keeps two or threo animals in training now-a-days, Archer's last success in the saddle was achieved on a filly of his. Little did the champion jockey imagine, as he weighed-in aftor Blanchfleur's victory, wearing the familiar " m_ipie " colours, associated with no many of his truimpbs, that tho well known cry of " Archer wins " had gone up for tho last time, and that henceforward his figure would bo missingin the "Birdcago." By way of finale, I do not think I can do bottor than quote from an old notice cf A rcher in the " World' the following :— The characteristics of Archer's method of riding may be summed upinthreo words—patience, vigilance, courage. He was always ready and nearly always first at the starting post, so as to secure tho best placo. He obeyed the starters implicity, ond never took his eyo from tho flag. Ho held false starts and breaks-away mere folly, thinking it better to wait till it was really a " go," and then hn wns liko a greyhound from tbo slip?. Since the days when Georgo Fordham in Captain Christie's whito jackot made tho souls of bookmakers to shrivel within them, no jockoy has got off like Fred Archer. In stead of pulling his horse's head off, as he oyed the flag, he left it loose, and when tho signal dropped sent his horse along with a touch of tho spur Archer, during his five years' apprenticeship to Mat Dawson, gavo "no trouble. Apparently impressed with that immortal north-country proverb which ouaht to be written in letters of gold over overy racing stable and a good many less important institutions. "It's canny to say nowt," he from child hood kept his eyes ond ears open and his mouth shut. " Ho thus by degrees ac quired overy point of good riding, that of ! " finishing " well having cost him more I time than all the others put together. Many of his best races were won actually lat the start, and more by his marvellous j quickneas in seoing nn opening and his I pluck in cramming his horse at it. His | lino hands also contributed greatly to his i success. A proof of his dainty handling of a horse's mouth was that he was never run away with. His head wns as cool as his hand was light and his heart stout. When he had seized an advantage at the start, in making a sharp turn, or by driving bis horse through an opening that nine riders out of ten would be afraid of, his clear head prevented him from throwing it .away. He had, however, with all his fell possession, no lack of earnestness. Ho w.ti all jockey, from tbe button of his cap to the tips of bis spurs, and rode—as the backers of his mounts know—irrespective of the odds. Whether on s6or4ora 20 to 1 chance., he equally strove to win. 'Tis said Archer leaves £150,000, which goes to his orphan daughter, a little girl of two.

"Didyou hear about the burglar who was nrreßtod this morning ?" "No! What for!" !"For braakinc iuto song." "Is that so ?" " Yes. He'd got through two bars when some one hit him with a stave." • " John, can you tell me the difference between attraction of gravitation and attraction of cohesion I" " Oh, yes, Bir. Attraction of gravitation pulls a drunken mun to the ground, and tho attrac tion of cohesion prevents his getting up 1 again.

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

Tbo Now Gift Bootes for Boys and Girls.

(From Our London Correspondent.)

London, November 12. The piles of myriad-hued volumes, gorgeous in binding and rich in illustration, which are beginning to cumber up the counters of our great London booksellers, remind me that Christmas is once more approaching, and that if my annual budget of informa tion relative to the literary "good things" of the season ia to roach tho antipodes in time to be of use to buyers of New Year s gifts, the task of investigation and review must be set about without delay. The first thiDg which strikes one in looking over the new season's gift books is the high class of the authors who cater nowadays fortho literary tastesof therisinggeneration. Fifteen years ago the scribes who vamped uptheboys' and girls' booksof the period wore a sot by themselves. Bar such brilliant ex captions as Captain Mayne Bead, Annm Bowman, Mrs Gatty, Miss Wetherell, and one or two more, their names were prac tically unknown to "grownup folk- Now, the most famous of our artistß, and i many of the most brilliant of our authors, write and illustrate children's books. Robert Louis Stevenson, Christie Murray, Katherine Macquoid, George Manville Feno, Bsme Stuart, G. B. Henty, and others too numerous to name, are as well known and appreciated in the nurßery (or perhaps I should say the schoolroom) as in the drawing-room. This is a significant and gratifying fact, for it shows that our boys and girls are acquiring a taste for a higher and more wholesome description of literature than their parents wore satisfied with. Very few of tne story books oven of the last decade have, indeed, survived till to-day. Authors of juvenile literature are ot two kinds or sorts. One is content merely to amuse and entertain, the other aßpirea to wrap up a moral, or historic, or geographi cal lesson in his (or ber) story. Books of the latter class are not popular with child ren unless the author does his (or her) work so cleverly that the youngster swallows the gilded pill without being aware of its exist ence. Miss Yonge was, for a long time, the most successful exponent of the art of con veying a striking moral through a really interesting and powerful tale. She has, however, plenty of rivals nowadays. But lot us to "our muttons "—or rather to the formidable pile of books I've got to .toll you about. We will begin, as we did last year, with boys' Btories, and as some of .em may not have reached the colonies .ye;, I will affix tbe publisher's name, bo ttl _ your booksellers may know exactly to whoie agents to apply for them. T'_ « hundreds of lads who worship at the literarj shiioeß of Ballantyne, Henty, Jules Verne, Mid George Mauville Fenn, will be glad to bear that all four favourites aro once mor« well to the front. Mr Ballan tyne Bupplhs " Red Rooney, or the Last of tho Crew " (Niebet, ss), a thrilling tale of Arctic adventure and life among the Esquimaux, md "The Prairie Chief" (Nisbet, 3s 6d), life amongst the North American Ind ion) before we white folk un dertook to civilise them. Both are written in the breezy, cheerful style of " The Light House," and "Fighting the Flainaa," though scarcely equal in all round merit to those popular stories. Mr Henty's colonial admirers will probibly declare in favour of "A Final Reckoning," a tale of bush life in Australia h the good old times. The hero is a young English lad, who, after a rather stormy boyhood, emi grates to New South Wales, whore he ob tains employment in the mouited police, and earns name and fame by hutting down buflhrangers, etc. The titles of Mr Henty's other new works, " With Wolfe ra Canada," and " The Young Carthaginian," till their own tale. The latter is a spirited skjry of the Punic wars and the times of Hand.bal.

It is, of course, a more matter of tigte, but I much prefer George Manville Fern's ; yarns to Henty's. "Yussaf, the Guidi" (an ideal boys' tale of adventure in A«h Minor) and " Devon Boys" are both thoroughly virile, wholesome hits of work ; ond few more powerful novels have been publUhod during the year than "This Man's Wife," now obtainable in the annual volume of " Good Words " (Isbister, 7s Cd). All Henty's and Fenn's stories are published by Blackie and Sons at "Ss and 6s each. "The Head of the House; a Story of a Victory over Passion and Pride," by Miss Evelyn Everett Green (Religious Tract Society, sj), is of a more serious character than moat of the above tales, but infinitely wbolecomor readinc for a growing boy than Jules Vorne'srubbishy "Matthias Sandorff" (Bompßon Low, 10s 6d) and "Lottery Ticket" (Sampson Low, 7s Cd). Ascott Hope's "Boys' Own Stories," —"the materials for which are supplied by writers who, os mere boys or lads in their teen , have had stirring episodes of history or ad venture to relate " —is a very suitable book to place in the hands of a youngster of 12 or 14(Hnion, ss); anda similar remark applies to "A Tale of Troy" (MaeMillan) and "Mr Holland's Conquest" (Nisbet, 3s 6d), the former especially being a very readable rechmeffel of Homer for a small boy. The annual volume of the " Boys' Own Paper " (Religious Tract Society), which is incomparably the best periodical of tho kind published, retains all its old features and several new ones. The chief serial story, "A Great Mistake," describes the adven tures of some runaway boys during the most exciting scenes of the Franco-Prussian war, and there are also two other romancee, " Ilderun, the Afghan," and " Kormak, the Viking." For lads of 15 to IC, who have outgrown mere tales of adventure, I strongly recommend Mies Edna Lyall's novels, "Donovan " and " We Two,'- now passing through a sixth and seventh edition (Hurst and Blackett, 6s each). I know several instances in which the storios have had a most beneficial influence in forming charac ter; they are anything but "goody" or tiresome. The same lady's "In tho Golden Days " may safely be put even in younger hands.

Girls used not to be ao well off for books as boys, but latterly nous avons change tout cela. First and foremost this year comes " The Girls' Own Annual" (Religious Tract Society), an olla podrida of the sort of tales and articles female nature loves, backed up by a delightfully pathetic and tear-compelling serial story, " Forlorn, not Forsaken," the true story of a nursery governess. Another capital gift for a growing gill is "Joan Wentworth " (Hatchards), a story of Continental life by Miss Macquotd, who long ago proved her self facile princeps at descriptions of middle class life abroad. Those, however, who want something more exciting will find it in cither " A Child of the Revolution" (Hatchards), by tho clever author of " Malle Mori," or "The Old Manuscript " (Religious Tract Socioty), both of which deal with one of the most terrible epochs in the world's history. " The Rose of Ringwood," by Emma Marshall (Nisbet), is suitable for rather younger girls, and so are "Enid's Silver Bond," a charming tale by Agnes Giberne (Nisiet, ss). and " The Queen of the Family," by Mrs Hornibrook (Nisbet, ss). Tho heroine of the last named is far from an exemplary character to begin with, but she improves on acquaintance You needn't therefore be horrified at her slash ing a harmless-, oking young man across tbe face with her riding whip. " Astray " (Hatchards) is a readable but not specially successful attempt at collabor ation on tbe part of Miss Yonge, Miss Esme Stuart, Misß Coleridge and Miss Bramston. It is indeed interesting rather as an experi ment than anything else. Finally I can confidently recommend " Philippa," by Mary Hillah (Hatchards) and "Dorothy's Dilemma," by Caroline Austin (Blackio, ss), and " Tho Eversley Secrets," by C. C, Green (Blackie, 2s 6d).

The most delightful books 1 have come across for younger children are "Madame Tabby's Establishment," an amusing des cription of a little girl's adventures in Cat Land -(MacMillan), "Four Winds Farm" by the ever welcome Mrs Moles worth (MacMillan), and " Prince Peerless," a fairy tale by Mrs Collier, whose " Our Homo on the Adriatic" has been so well reviewed recently. The last-named is pub lished by Mr Fisher Umvin, who is also responsible for the appearance of " When I Was a Child," by Linda Vallari, and "In the Time of Roses," both nicely got up little works. Parents who wish to combine instruction with pleasure will probably prefer the Rev. J. G. Wood's simply yet clearly expressed, and grandly illustrated, " Handy Natural History " (Religious Tract Society) to any one of the above, or if it should be too ex pensive, " Hidden Homes " (Nisbet) may 1 answer their purpose, In speaking of

cheaper works, too, I must not forget to mention "Five Thousand Pounds by Agnes Giberne, a very suitable book to give a servant girl (Nisbet), and "Sun t d^. (Wells, Danon, and Co.), a volume of mis cellaneous reading of a more £™*JF character than one usually associates with Sunday literature. f Standard libraries of notable boob at cheap prices have biicome extraordinarily numerous during tho past twelvemonth. Quite the best value I have seen so far (bar, perhaps, Routledgo's threepenny series) is Warno's Crown Library, the work, of Scott, Lytton, Douglas Jarrold Lever Lovor^, etc., printed in large readable type on fine paper, and tastefully and strongly bound in chocolate cloth with gilt lettering. Cassell's Red Library fnr someittmei ruled tho roost amongst 2s books, but the Crown series quite snuffs them out.

HOW TO ACT.

Saving Life From Flro.

It would be well if (in all houses with

wooden staircases, and where there is no ac cess to the roof by skylights) Borne simple means of escape were provided. A rope lad der, with woodon rungs, should be kept in the upper rooms. In aDy case a strong knotted rope which would serve the pur pose in extremity might be provided at no great expense. When a fire breaks out, re member tbat much depends on your remain ing calm and collected. Take time for consideration and do not act precipitately. Call to mind what modes of exit there are from the house, and select the best accord ing to circumstances. If you are in bod and have not timo to dress, roll yourself in a blanket, rather than in a sheet or counterpane, as the former will be some temporary protection against the fire. Shut aU doors nnd windows. If the smoke is so suffocating that you cannot breathe standing, go on your hands and knees, within a foot of the floor there will always be air tbat can be breathed. A welted silk handkerchief or piece of flannel over the face will permit breathing and keep out smoke. If you can neither make your way upwards nor downwards get into a front room, and if there is a family, see that they r.re collected there. Do not throw yourself from the windows unless a "jumping sheet " is held below ; but if you have no rope tie sheets and blankets together by corners, and make one. Fasten ono end to a crosspiece of furniture and let the women and children down by tying the other end round the waist; lastly, you can slide down it yourself. When you discover your clothes to be on fire try to retain your presence of mind. On no account rush about wildly. If you are alone seize any loose rag or woollen article, and wrap it tightly about you; this will extinguish the flamo3 at once. If nothing of the sort is at hand and there is no one near to help you, keep your clothes as tightly about you as possible and try to put out the flames by rolling on the floor. If a man is present when a woman's clothes catch fire he should at once throw her down, and if no better woollen article presents itself, take off his coat and wrap it round her. A woman's shawl will anßwer the same purpose. Clothing may be rendered' fireproof by soaking it in alum, but this weakens the fibre of tho fabric. Sal-ammoniac or borax aie much better for the purpose.

Enjoyable Suffocation.

In a recent number of " Chambers's Journal " is an interesting account ot a visit to a coal mine after an explosion. Describing the appearance of a man killed by tbe afterdamp, the writer says:—"There he was found, as soon as it was possible to penetrate through the smoke and heavy fumee, with that placid look on bis face which all those wear who are suffocated by carbonic acid gas. One of the explorers ex plained tbat, in this poisonous atmosphere, b« folt himself failing,.and yet, though he know perfectly well what was in etore for him if be sank down, could not resist the Pleisant stupor that was creeping over him. He waß dragged away to pure air just in time."

Thii reminds me of the Grotta del Cane. As most of my readers know, this grotto is a sort of cellar on the slopes above the Lake of Agnant, with an outlet about two feet above the level of the floor. Carbonic acid issues abundantly from this floor and forms a pool of the Jense gas, which can only rice to the level of \h» outlet by wbich it flows down the hill in a stream tbat may be rendered visible hy plunging a torch into the pool of gas, and thus coating its surface with a layer of vis_l» smoke.

A man standing ujright breathes freely, only feeling the warmtfe of the gas in which his feet and legs are imaersed, but a dog is suffocated ; hence tbe tame. It is one of the shows of the neighbourhood, the chief item of the programme subsisting in the eemi-euffocating of a dog for tfae amusement and instruction of visitors whi. are willing to pay two francs for the exhibition. When I visited the place aotn> years ago with friends, we at first refused to allow the dog to perform, on grounds of htmanity. The custode protested, assured us tkat the dog enjoyed it, that it was "'4 suo Mestiere," his trade, and that he would be deeply grieved if we refused him our dis tinguished patronage. These remarkable assertions being appar ently verified by tho conduct of the dug which scratched at the locked door and ap poared eager to exercise bis mestiere, we yielded, when, to our great surprise, he jumped down the steps into a lethal pool immediately the door was opened, and after a few struggles rolled over and became ap parently dead. He was taken out and con vulsively recovered. He would have made another plunge had he beon permitted.—W, Mattieu Williams, in the "Gentleman's Magazine."

The Bet Was Won.

Barmen* invariably take the opposite view of everything. The other day Mr Gallagher was in a city saloon and tipped his chair back and went ovor, and jammed his head, and was con siderably hurt. The incident annoyed him, and the barman said he hadn't ought to swear. Gallagher said tbat under the in fluence of sudden pain five men out of six would swear. Tbe barman would not believe it, and the result was a bet. Then for the test. Gallagher got an ordinary brick, and heated it fearfully hot, ! and placed it on the marble bar. Now, a brick doesn't show hoat, and therefore it was not surprising that when Mr Guff came in and saw the brick on the bar he should pick it up. He, however, showed no dis position to put it in his pocket or do any thing else with it. He immediately laid it down, and made frantic gestures, and said a number of wicked things. Then in came a butcher, who also picked up the brick and laid it down. He looked around, savagely, and, after freeing his mind o: somo unholy sentiments, said he hoped he shouldn't see anything laugh, as he preferred not to be under the necessity of committing murder. The next victim was a German, and he spoke every word of English he knew, and two-thirds of what he remarked would have been improper in a Sunday-school. He joined Guff and the butcher in sucking his finaers and watching for the next man. He came in the form of a prominent poli tician, and as he placed the brick upon the bar his language sounded like after-election telle. The barman began to be nervous, but the noxt man merely pranced about and wildly waved hishands without saying a word, It appoared that he was a dumb man. The next man would decide the bet. He was a young man from the country, and didn't look a talkative chap. But when he got hold of that brick his jaw seemed to become loose, and the vray he blasphemed even shocked a parrot, and the butcher said he'd give a fiver if he could talk like that. Gallagher had won. He rose up and ex plained the affair. The six, headed by the young man from the country, started for him as one man. They brushed the ceiling with him, uaed him as a football, threw him down the cellar, tore his clothes off, and— made him drink wator I They said they wanted to see if it would make him swear. 1 It did,—" Detroit Free Press."

SCRAPS.

Sand the n_ialone the vrtrn '"" Little Peter's sone up hlMfiflH Went and tried to start afIMH Underneath the meter. .;_3||M One report wns nil wo heard Telllnc how hia flight occur- , Funeral has been 4eterred ■"■l Wanted-llttle Peter. '

PRINCE LEAPOLD'S WIDOW.

Thero is no truth whatever in __.. ' . ment of a contemporary that the ff I of Albany contemplates a second m"^ I with a certain Russian Prince, audth'^Ht # of his having "known and fallen in Tl 1 with her long before the late Duke of: a__ I appeared at Waldeck "(I euppogg •ju??. P is meant, as there is no such place JrSS- i deck), is pure fiction. Any su^ S™f [ would be morganatic. If the DuciSj. § marry again, her second huebapd JSi?': 1 German, and a peraonago unencuibirLp' B a superfluity of possessions, as thei_!__4 I would not hear for a motaentj.fr'l \f daughter-in-law quitting England '*_. _. I children. Tho £6,000 a year %)s£■ f Duchess gets from the country Ij fa 5* f power of Her Majesty. i , ■ ,' I .on meet him on tho pavement ' r You meet him on the cars You meet him in the daytime ' And you meat him 'noath the :..,.. ~, 1 He's seen within the hotel "WM, And he's even seen at church- ■ I An*i on the Btools of offices . ' ' You'll often see him porch; • Who is this man abiqaitous That followa us about? ' . 'Tis the man that chews thetootiio_- '. _ Lot us put hlf.. underground "i* Anri aftor him we'll send the oh__ I Who knows not social life I Who trims his nails in public ' "■' " I With a handy pocket-knife .> '■

VELOCITY OF BIRDS.

A subject which is weiting ,„„'»_ JI mission ]ust now in spurting efcßttsLlu. ,'■ I relative velocity of fl|*ht of bird^of 3 P.1 1 It is contended that tha driven 'pattSw' 1 even when assisted by a strong w&dferiS-^ I does not go faster than'forty milesan __y' 'I that a driven grouse rarely if ever :i__M 1 fifty ; and tbat both are inferior as rSSI-I pace to a well-trained homing cwH";' ! pigeon, which, according to recoriSpS* cover sixty miles when backed by afevß. able breeze- Thore is possibly no aconta. way of measuring tbe actuaL?SH r of either grouse or partridge • sS: i the golden plover, which is a faste'fej _ | than oither, may frequently be «eea _« I shoot ahead of the fastest express train {3 f viewed on a parallel courae against tld _£'''' » tant horizon. Of course it is of grtol'^j. vantage to young sportsmen to know ««'■" actual Bpeed of flight of the bird they tf£§ to bring down, as they may then ta_i &. requisite distance ahead. Old and exniri onced gunners do not need to studySS matters, for practice lets them knotr'XJ necessary " borrow" unerringly. 'l -'fflSff

PRINCE ALBERT VICTOR'S BE TROTHAL.

A Tory contemporary publishes isk. - purports to be a portrait of the Prinsja Alexandra of Unhalt-Dessau, pwho,ip*iii E characteristic imbecility, is described'u " Our future Queen" I I can only repeat '! that there is not. the ghost of the Bhado*tf a foundation for the report of an impendin* betrothal between Prince Albert Vfan f and the Princess in question. She is f, suitable age, and eligible in -point i of religion (being of the Evangelical faith)., | but so are at least half-a-dozen othet 1 Princesses. I hear from the best authority'■ I that it is the particular wish of the Data . li of Unhalt-De.au and his sister, thePrin- I cess Frederick Charles of Prussia, ■'-. .thai' I Princess Alexandra should marry. h«':| cousin. Prince Frederick Leopold, _h_ . I brother of the Duchess of Connanght I It is only the poor German ppßoyalti.'"' I who caro in these days for the pEngliih... | alliance Princesses wbo can afford;>icf i please themselveß prefer to remain in tUtai own country. Last year we caw Prinoefi . - Hilda of Nassau, probably the greatest ; heiress in Europe, marry the Crown Prince of Baden ; and during the last few mbnflil.'"'"-' two more German .Princesses, b0th..»«|.,.. wealthy, have married in lie Fatherland. > "What? Women overworked? Fudge) J Think of the men." "Ah, but you kuW tho old saying, ' Woman's work is never done.'" "I know it; and that's tha :.... reason she oughtn't to complain; &£.__ man has to do his work or lose his job r " An Irresistible Argument.—An old lady combated the idea of the moon being in. -";;. habited by remarking with emphasis'that | the idea ivas incredible—" For," said Bhe, "what becomes of the people in the moon when thero is nothing left but a littJ) streak ?" An old lady in St. Helens lighted'hsi candle, aud went out to a noighfiai'i house, where she stayed several hourß,'*»ni on returning found her room waa dark; She immediately raised a report that her hooHs •; had been broken into, for her candlj-.™•..',; gone. ' When Sheridan was dying he waa re quested to undergo an operation. )<He - replied that he had already submittal, to ■''•[ two, which were enough for one man'i ':■•, lifetime, Being aeKed what they wore hs "i replied, " Having my hair cut and sittin % for my picture." A clergyman in New York recently f preached a very earnest discourse'onthi/i hard times, enforcing tbe duty of ret_li_* :M ment' and economy. Immediately after . church the congregation took him .at his ;'% word by holding a meeting at wMeh.p_B .-: salary was cut down from LOOO to WO 1 dollars. "I remember," says Lord Eldoni."Mr 7 Justice Gould trying a case at. York, 3 and when he had proceeded for about "two y hours he observed 'Here are only eleven '",; Jurymen in the box ; where is the twelfth? • .'? "Please you, my lord,' said one of the 5 do'en, 'he has gone away about bcius bus»iess, but he has left his verdict with '■? me. * '■■■':-::; Ai

A Wdheaded business man was among _/ the gueits at a recent fashionable gather- t ing, wheio also was a very loud and very ,I: obtrusive new-rich woman. "Humph,"1 " . growled Ha-d Head, as the very loud and p s, ?ri. rth BW}f* past in the grand proceaaui ft". ■'|ffj Too much Honey, and hasn't had it lone enough. Two English tourists visited tha 'fiold ot I Bannockburn, &,d a local cartmight pointed'out wita intelligence the position of the contending allies the stone in which Bruce's standard was fixed. &c„ &c. The tourists on leaving pressed the informant's acceptance of a gratu»y j but "Na. na," replied the Scot, with ntti oea ble pride," it ;.: has cost ye eneuch already" \ A Punning Trio.—Docttre p a rr, Homer, and Abthorpe once met ,t Old Frank Smith's coffee house, in Ganfck Fair-lane, Cambridge. Homer on the occasion wai in a very grumpy and retiring,mood. At length Parr broke out with "Huner'siodd-^' I see " (Odyssey), Abthorpe qtfckly fol lowed with "Homer's ill I add''(Hiad). Homer grumpily observed, " That^ above par "(Parr.)

A Balloon Breakfast.

The "Independence Beige" relatestha •: following curious story as illustrative of<■ | the eccentricities of Englishmen :—" Wa recommend the following facts to M, Jules ' Verne, who might certainly use them. X^oSI friends, Messrs. Stanhope and Colvin, wero \E recently sitting face to face in tho'Lnvlon y. Jockey Club (sic) playing a game of tcnrte. The stake was important. The l_or.irinK to offer the other ' a breakfast such asIBISS had never had before.' Mr Stanhope lost He invited his partner to come to bimOßgfi! the following dayi October 25, in HydlHfi Park, for the famous breakfast. At'tUßß stated hour Mr Colvin presented himsSßß j at the rendezvous. Mr Stanhopep wgliM standing near an inflated baUoon, in .JmIHB car of which was an aeronaut superintend*,«." i ing the preparations for a voyage in the air. | Ab the two friends entered the balloon, 9 | cook arrived out of breath with cooking »]>•' s * | parafus. Mr Stanhope ordered bis cordoi | bleu to fix the stove in the car. This hay- ~| ing been done, he called out vigourously".. ,_\ | 'Let go,' and the balloon rose majestieslP S In the air. The cook, who had;not counle. I | upon the voyage, uttered cries cf fear, bat. 1 Mr Stanhope, calm as the captain of a ship ,J in a storm, said to him, 'Now, then, cook j these two beefsteaks, and take care that » ' " sparks fall oat of the stove or the balloon will explode.' The cook proceeded to carry out the order, and Mr Stanhope, turning to bu . friend Colvin, more dead than alive, said, JV.y .! j have kept my promise; this will be **J ;;; moat expensive breakfast we have ever ;. eaten. There are £300 to pay for ths balloon and £200 as indemnity to WJ» ~ cook,"' ' '--''4H.'

THE LVCKJASQ1 EVENING STAR. SATURDAY, JANUARYJ;^

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