THE HOXTON MURDER.

H,at has created a great sensation A ? W and which come to be known as ißEng land,an comm itted on tbe. mi Sum named Lydia Green was » single w d. h be droom in *»* *?*$ at 8, Baches-street, her »otll£ he su pposed murderer is a man Boston- J^^ailam Currell, with named jngJeW had " kept company *l>om *' but with whom, it is stated forlZyf^ied to break, as Currell & ?! himself of late, had been ««_ the evi £ ence o f the mother It appears m> early on fche mornln g of 'he . !fi v an unusual noise, some of the iike tl)6f slamming of a door was thing \ lke ' vera l of the inmates of the heart Id upon a search being made house, ana f the young woman, the dead m^ found on fche floor of with a severe gash on her Dettiw medical man was at the fo^ff- n and he made what has on ce <»!lea ' t0 have been a most cc be!! .mination of the body, for he cursory »*". o pj n ion that the cause of gave it »s fl he .fvy fall, through sudden Heath was a a ' chest of drawers. This hW^ta mistake gave the supposed un fortunaw day!g fm . jt was not murderer* fchat some very peou ii ar tillt heaft«"!° arollsw i the suspicion that circnmsKiij" l. comm itted. it seems that &ctin« Llv on Saturday morning, met a Curr n who lodged in the house where y°an f g W! family lived, and, saying that he «*o^ wt «ome things that he had left t nrevions evening, Currell asked 'bere i Jtim his latchkey, as be did not hi?> tolC"nithe hoxiso. The young man **"„ fed *ith the request, and on reburn- work in the evening, asked Mrs frOt Ws key, as Currell had pro- Gree? f leave it with her. It then nt that Currell had not left there the previous night, nor, so MJ* o**^ Lew, had he been there that ***F%£!tok, however, that he had """"""i the key proved that he had an borrowe" »» ' ' iet admission to the coupled with the death of Stf ioman cLed a further examin- Jl?> n fthe body to bo made, when it bo -BTe 'Sent that a murder had been per ie t T two bullet wounds being found flr nY the iaw being shattered. In- at onee° instituted by fwUce! and, Currell's lodgings being ••JS it was found that he had disap id AsJarch through his effects was PSed by the discovery of several re "^rtrid^s, having bullets similar to £"S &d been extracted from the £3V» head- A hu? and, c7.w^ d !r n^ed bufe for nearly a fortnight ffl'Sted the police^ although SThßd in their possession photo mL of him and frequently came upon CVto Ws movements after the murder X committed. It would, indeed be tfLXto «ay when the police would have Sled in arresting iim had he not !sfan to one of the detectives making an Stint to meet at a certain place the En" morning. It is scarcely neces !rto°say the detective punctually S the appointment, and soon Currell KedanTgave himself into cußtody. S strenuously denies that he com- S the murder, and says that no one Monk mare grieved than he at the un fi and tragic death of the girl to whom hTwasmost fondly attached, and no cne would be more pleased than he to see the perpetrator of the deed taw* to justice. He says he was over whetaed with surprise and mental con fasionwhenhe saw by the newspapers that he was suspected of having committeu the murder, and that after hiding for a day or tfohewenttothe ©riminal Investigation department in Scotland Yard, and inquired ' for the inspector who he understood hacl darre of tie case. He spoke to several oi the constables on duty there, but was in formed that the inspector was out, ancl fat he hacl better call again. Currell opresses his entire confidence in being able t prove his innocence of the terrible crime, Jhis counsel has stated that the public nay be prewired for some surprises betore k case is over. So far as circumstances kve beoii published the case looks black Meed for Currell, and it will excite univer a!astonishment if he prove his innocence.

AN HOUR Of TERROR.

Whb he had been there one week the loarding-house keeper said that he was one •ofthenicest, quietest young men that she lad ever had in her house. He had no ■complaints to make at the table, and he left listoem so slick and clean that the chamber mad had suspicions that he was a -woman in disguise. At the end of a month, rather than have him go, the landlady would have agreed to purchase porterhouse steak once a week, and to replace the old rug in his mom with a new one costing fifty cents. Tie other night, however, her enthusiasm raseived a set-back. One of the boarders ■came downstairs and reported that he had ieard groans and sighs and curses from the quiet karder'B room. Three or four people dp-toed up, and after a bit they plainly aught his words : „ .. "Ouch! Hang it I Condemn it to Hali i iv, but it's killing me by inches !" Then it was realised that the quiet man lad some great sorrow on his mind, ana_ it | Tras suspected that he was contemplating I luicide.

"Ooh!" he called out, "great heavens, but how I suffer ! Why was I such a foo. to follow that villain's advice ?"

He had probably taken poison, or was trying to drive a darning-needle to his heart. The landlady thought of the 'Coroner's inquest, the item in the papers and the questions the reporters would ask, and she grew frantic. _ ... . •a "Hey, Smith-Mr Smith—you, Smith! she called as she rapped on the door, but "what on earth is the matter ?"

"Nothing!" came the solemn answer, ft as she. put her ear to the keyhole she lewd soft groans, and a whispered voice saying:— " It's got to be done at any cost." "Mr Smith," B he continued, " don't you «&re to commit suicide in my house ! if you Ho 111 have you sent to gaol for a year !_ It **sn't >.be months ago that a woman tried "Poison herself in that very room, and i ■went got over the fright yet. Say jou!" "Well," came the faint reply. Have you taken poison ?" No."

There was an interval of silence while Ell «pnt her ear to the keyhole, and pretty *°n Bhe heard the boarder gallop up and d( Wn and hiss between his clenched teeth : 'Great Scots ! but what mortal man was upon to suffer as I do ?" ~ 1" she whispered as she turned to «« boarders, "this door has got to be **ea down without delay. That un- Pwrol man has taken roufh-on-rats, ana determined to die on a bed which cost *s over 820 last fall> Baying nothing of a WM-hand carpet which I traded a sowing j *Wune for. Mr Green, kick open the

"If Green is there I'll let him in," announced Smith, and he opened a crevice just large enough to squeeze in.

Then came a whispered consultation, followed by shouts »f pain and terror, and Green came to the door with an objoet in his hand, and calmly said - " Ladies and gentlemen, it was simply a cape of pulling off a porous plaster which he had worn for six weeks. Please forgive him, for he'll never do so again."

GLASS IN HER LUNGS.

A Young Lady's Life Saved b r a Dar'rg Surgical Operation-Part of a Rib Cut Away to Facilitate the Wort.

Medical, circles in this city hive again 1; been startled by the remarkable iperation of a bold surgeon, gays the Cincinnati ® " Enquirer ": It consisted of laying cpen the *' chest, cutting into the lung and removing a a foreign body ; the patient recovering Ab- a Nominal surgery has become an everr-day t occurrence, but the procedure has > C ver a before been attempted. The chest c; v ity b with its contained organs is a consent c bugbear to the doctors. The patient g a J young lady of about 20, the daughter oi a n t Eastern stock-broker. When a child it t play she was thoughtless enough to pt a i coloured glass bottle in her moutl a By some sudden motion or jar thi jj L^lass was broken, and part of it went! j, into her wind-pipe. A violent fit of gl 3oughing ensued and small bits were ex pectorated, but from the symptoms mani fested it was evident that a portion of the i^lass still remained in her throat. Severe Hemorrhage ensued the next day, and was snly checked by the most energetic mea sures. The bleeding occurred the next day md the next, each time threatening to fatally. At the end of a week the flow of blood was stopped, and the child showed signs of Improvement. Its appetite returned and its usual fondness for play was seen, yet at rimes in the midst of its frolics the little one would stop, put her hand to her chest, and £ive evidence of the most terrible suffering. It was hoped the child would outgrow the ifteetion, as it was believed its condition was due to disease of the lungs. At the igc of six years, however, the child had an xttaek of spasmodic coughing, which lasted ibout ten minutes, and terminated in the axpulsion of several pieces of glass is large as the end of a lead pen cil. At this time she again nearly bled to death, but this was averted, md she immediately grew better. Her 2 'nvakscence was rapid, and in a month's time she was able to start for school. 3he made satisfactory progress in her school work, and at last graduated, at the ige of seventeen, with high honours. One year later a hacking cough appeared,accom panied by loss of flesh and strength, im paired appetite, pallor and all the accom paniments of early consumption. The doc tor in attendance was firm in his belief that this was the malady so rapidly carrying her to the grave. Medicines were given, but without avail. One day while the physician was examin ing her a small red spot was noticed on the Left side just below the arm-pit. It was very tender on pressure, evidently contain ing pns. The idea at once struck the doc tor that a piece of the glass swallowed years before might have lodged in this spot, and after so long remaining quiet, haa begun to make its presence known. With the consent of the young lady and her friends preparations were made for an operation with the view of rinding out the cause of her disease, and, if possible, remedying it. The patient was etherised at 11 o'clock in the morning. Forty-five minutes later the operation was com pleted. After thoroughly cleansing the part with antiseptic solution, the knife was inserted just beneath the pit of the arm and drawn downward two inches. A large quantity of offensive matter es caped 0 On introducing the finger into the wound a cavity was found as large as a small orange. This was lined by a very tou°-h adherent tissue. At the point could easily be feltthesharp edgeof a piece of glass. It was impossible to extract it through the opening made without endangering the adjacent tissue. Consequently about one and a half inches of the rib op positewas sawed oft, thus giving the sur geon a good view and permitting the mam pulation of instruments. The piece of glass was attached so tightly that it had to b< cut loose by curved scissors. Little or nc bleeding occurred, however.

NEW YORK GIRLS.

The Best-Dressed Ones Earn Their

Own Money.

The manner in which our shop girls and clerks dress is a matter for amazement with all foreigners who visit New \ ork. Xo the European mind there is something■revo lutionary and almost chaotic in the spectacle of work-folks "dressed like gentlemen and ladies," as they put it. .It certainly is a remarkable feature of life in the metro polis. The fact is, however, that beyond £he hannfulness of raising dress upon the nedestal of idolatrous regard, there is Stle eL to find fault *&> of our young toilers—for it is mainly the place of costly wear is resonea , the Boman Catholic b™>"«' **™Cou" icta of offering the g>rl. hid their poor calicoes and won under cloaks and shawls as ampk^ could buy, now indulge in oWKU IOOdoL dresses, and swing them aa along the streets on Sunday mornmg ever the portest young e tticoat . upper-ten circles vibrated a Pc A PI score or more of sprung pioneer friend of the domestic hav(3 si up in these sister cities, so that y to go far with h■ • instalments ana r j a servant girl L ? a mCsts But not dress "than her x^.stress ?oasts. lar for long does any «rl enjoy this si g distinction. Not if know the Be^ which the fair employers belong. fat 8 dress is as much a disease witbt m as with maid, and the ° see her sit patiently a second Sunday ( » {airly servant sail forth in BiIKS ' sen t stand alone "was born before the pie generation. . ~ r.v.oad of Our shopgirls are considerably *ne« the servonts in the of providine selves with clothes. Betting fe®«^ x well as uncertain; but if it WOl - nst a would wager a cart-wheel doll*%*f^test little green apple that ours are the ia

as well as the most graceful and prettiest shopgirls in America? lamso Sm of this that I will lend the dollar to my. one who will make the bet. They dn«sTo well that Strangers are forever suspccfci, ° ill of their characters. The idea of thi f mg ill of a girl who gets up at daybreak to crack the ice in her pitcher for her n orr - ing swash, and then works until dark for from 3dol. to sdol. a week ! If that is not a certificate of good character, let me know what is, please. But our shopgirls can do more with their pennies in the way of dress than many women of means do with their dollars, iou show the average New York shopgirl what the fashion i s , the latest dress pattern, or hat shape, or style of trimming, or drapery, or manner ~f wear ing a thing, and then you see if she won't have it to a T next Sunday. The -.iris who work behind the counters in oiiV ladies' shopping stores number about 15,()<K) They leaven the whole lump. They learn all the tricks of beating the devil of fashion around the stump of economy. They learn all the arts and artifices of tin: women they wait on and all the subterfuges and saving devices of their associates behind the counters. Every night, like the carrier doves that flew from beleaguered Paris, they scatter far and wide, retailing their discoveries and experiments among their friends of the factories and tenements and sewing-rooms and telephone centres, and wherever else women arc who have not these chances for study ing fashion. These girls handle all sorts of stufl's, learn ~ first of every bargain sale, and in imitating expensive roods with cheap ones, so as to produce the Beets their richer sisters aim at, they have frery advantage by bciiip in tho vury sano tms and service of fashion : but above all oh i s their taste. They can lit each other themselves as well as ever a vwdis/, nioul deVl duchess, and wlioii their clothes are on tern they invest their very buttons ; : : . b".s es -wifcli a chic and pride of be;r i j, bhattioncy never yet has bought.— i\i..,:r ---' ican ftpor

BETTER THAN CANNON BALLS.

An Ex, rt Who Thinks That Sams are Most Valuable "If the m jt j n a j ze has probably boon reached iq ie construction of the yunw that throw a pi e ctile weighing a ton, and if the limit . armour has probably been reached in^e veS sel that measure its thickness b fcne f ootj aiu j jf t ] lc utmost limit of speeijj the unarmour cruisers with present engit, i s likely to be about twenty one knots, as ni say) w ] lllt w ju be, i IL . ncxfc thing for GoVi, nell t s t o construct for use in war at sea "risked a reporter who had been talking fth a naval officer about modern ships. " Armoured mSj » he replied. " Tlie ram has been fleeted for years in the '. race for superior between armour and guns, but the of an armoured ram in clefendin» l>or t against the attacks, of an enemy nn Roon ft ttract attention once more, and th we w m have a discus sion on the propenodel and power to be given such a vcssei " It is commonlj,ij cve( i that all modern war vessels are buil 7 jt, n bows constructed strong enough to ra an enemy," was sug gested. "Yes; but the j o f , s f or the most part erroneous. It i. ue t ],. lt the lines of the stems of the t»hip\>j e ct out to a sharp angle below the wat]i ne> allf i that trio plates and framing thdbouts are stronger than in other parts of c s hjp_ jf ono o f tliese ships should hr feu to hit low on another one in ttugjde it would probably make a hole v, cr) but there is every reason to belie that the vessel striking would be a^ as seriously damaged as the vessel Shfc, particularly if the latter were runn at f u u 5 , 10 .; d when struck. The afctaCg vessel would get its nose twisted off, 3 perhaps she would be rolled clear ove\ st a 8 the coal schooner was that ramm tne Oregon. Neither the unarmoured j sei . nor the heavy-armoured harbour dc, t! wurs hjp is adapted for a ram. The v j scl . ; s no t strong enough for one thin^j has not beam enough for another.jjet.) ( } et . ) a big shell from the enemy vvj destroy her before she got near en^ (o mnli The armoured warship is so r aml „„. wieldy that she could only hofy r;im an enemy through a piece of goo ( .[ c shape of the bows of these \, ]g j 8 a n wrong for ramming. As I said, ~.l m on them is simply a knuckle joint xi^ Hbom A cross section through this ~ o f t he vessel would show that it I[luc h better adapted to stand a st from above or below than from either s jj ow a ram must needs stand a vertic tl .. lin) for in a seaway, as she and tl nemy pitched and rolled about, the ram ld be apt to plunge down into the enen, K i c i e with meat-axe stroke,bub it must b<\ om . bered that the enemy is sure to in motion probably going ahead at full edj and that the side wrench she gave t arn would be much more disastrous th^y resistance of her side plating. It is d, lt for a landsman to conceive the strain which the ram would receive:L vessels rolled and plunged togethe^ a seaway. The proper form for the of a ram is a modification of a ( bill, wider than it is deep, stout but sharp edges on each j Then as the enemy rushed by, drag the ram along with her,, the broad no. the ram would simply rip the whole out of the strongest ship made and * sink like lead with her next roll. _ lh structive force of a projectile weighii ton when moving wit£ an initial veloci 2 000 feet, is awful ; but the power projectile 'weighing 3,000 tons mo™ twenty-one knots an hour is almost finitely greater. The shot may miss mark so may the ram ; but the ram i animated projectile that can try anc ag«^But where would the ram be if enemy's ton projectile struck it? " Right on its way for the enemy. A well-built ram would expose only a steel turtle-back above the water. This could be injured would be much more numerous than those of any form of vessels. She would have no gun turret nor other ex posed or angular parts to stop a projectile A torpedo might reach her, but ike chances would be against that. Destined only for coast defence, the ram would need to carry but a small amount of roal She would not be lumbered up with mins and their attendant machinery and fmmunition. Her sole mission is to run rSly and to turn quickly, so as to keep bow on to the enemy. She would have tc KbMod enough to give stability to carrj the weight of her steel dock and to carrj powerful engines and s rews. She woulc y, rhe-ni to build, safe to handle anc Xoiouo-hly effective in time of battle. W< ht to begin to discuss the plan of a nev i°"ni to be built for use solely as a ram.1 i j-New York " Sun

POETRY

THE MASQUE OF PROGRESS.

I What are words ?— a fool may bluster, churning all the empty air, Men want action—this alone may exocise the fiend despair; What avails to rail at Progress, like some craven, poor and weak ? Rather grasp the wrong, and grasping, do redress, let actions speak ; Leave to Gaul and Slav delirium —we are made of sterner stuff ; Men who in the stress of battle never yet have cried " Enough,". From the days of ancient greatness when our gallant fathers stood Steadfast, with their own great charter, — writ in ink that glowed like blood, Till the time when Europe's freedom in the hands of England lay, And ambition's mightiest darling at her Jiat passed away, Shall we lose our old traditions—we who bade the slave be free— Weighing not the cost, but counting all things dross for liberty ? Shall we lose our old traditions—raTe and fret like weaker men, Turning all our vaunted Progress into that which proves a bane ?— Like the thunder from the heavens comes a voice that answers " No ! In the path of highei: manhood, where our fathers trod, we go; Nay—we stand, proud, strong, and daunt less, looking only to the right, Saying, thit* is wrong, we end it: thither lies the way to light. Seeking only Nature's progress, Cttlm and free from brutal strife, No true son of England bid* her stoop to dynamite or knife. Nature's evolutions warn us ; they oome forth in stately calm, Step by step—no rude convulsion thwarts her processes with harm. We will give, if it be needful, c'en our best, our brains, our gold, Swallowed in the social chasm, like the Roman knight of old, Wo will face, with brow undaunted, all our misdeeds brave and true, All the tangled maze of living scanning, till we gain some clue ; Something which may guide our footsteps, teach us how aright to think. 'Tis not yet too late to rally, though we touch Perdition's brink. Will ye falter, brothers, Britons, —Is our lofty history done, Are we standing in the glo ming, nigh the setting of our sun ? Mark the splendour of our past. —We cannot, —nay, we will not die. Though awhile the page seems blotted, we shall cleanse it by and* by, Till again in lustrous beauty England's story thrill the world. And—the badge of Truth and Right—her mighfcy banner float unfurled. Rouao ye then to thought and action, single-hearted probe tno wound. Till we trace the festering plague-spot, and the cause of wrong be found Then, as in the days of old, let England's children stand as one, With a clarion voice proclaiming —wrong must cease and right be done. Shades of Cromwell, Hampden, nerve us, if, perchance, we need your aid, Let us stand as ye once stood, the foe at bay, all undismayed. Let us heed the cry that riseth from our midst on every side, From the city and the hamlet, whore our fellow men abide, " Come and help us—great our need ; we sicken—-will ye let us die '! We, though poor, are yet your brothers— help us in our misery. What to us is all this progress, if we perish 'neath its wheels, Whilst the great world, hard and heartless, down its selfish courses reels. Give us richer fruits of Progress, teacli us better lives to lead, Bid the brute depart from manhood, and some nobler type succeed. Can you wonder if degraded we awake your scorn and hate- Look at home, the fault will be found lying haply at your gate — If our women shameless, sexless, bear the brazened huzzy brand, And our life-seared children threaten ruin to their fatherland !'' Labour, like a tiger couchant, grim and watchful, scowls at bay— Capital lays its grip on labour—who is wrong, let wise men say — Competition hounds us onward, down an ever-narrowing stage, Muzzling enterprise, begetting death of profit—stint of wage. Shall the land which Nature gave us yield indulgence to a few, Or shall man, 'neath better systems, his lost lease of earth renew— Shall the State regard her subjects more as children, less as slaves, Not, as now, providing for them costly prisons, pauper graves? Such the thoughts which gather round us, yet tho' dark the stormclouds be, Here and there the gleaming lightning gilds their vast obscurity. 'Cross the social zenith flashes our bright watchword, Brotherhood— Earnest of some higher future, richer in what makes for good. Brothers onward, dauntless, hopeful, what is dark shall pass away With the blight of Self, which breeds it, I lost in merited decay. e Jßrace the will to higher aims anct nobler *" action—aye be strong ; h?n your hands it lies to conquer, tho' per -3 " chance the strife be long. 'S '/ake—or perish in deserving fate, 'tis best ty,° that traitors die, of faring on their brow, in warning, Cain's S.^ fell scar of infamy ; '"'.ke—the wrongs of manhood call you; tne shall those wrongs be borne for aye ? 8 an es a voice from out the future, thunder try fag forth the answer " Nay." the E. 11. Gulliver.

UNKNOWN

"^Vho aro interested in dress reform Wl4ad to hear that societies for the ac*Vent of this object have been orn Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Frieirmp nO y j n tend to work on the sam. e as the English Rational Dress Socieijj ag £ ai , ag p OSS £}3le in connection " vY lfcll .c!ie formation of these societies is Sl£ , \s showing the wider recognition °* tlie. \at women's dress im its present form is ted fco the dail liie £UKI WQrfe of womtJ ie present day. <i rpiTe T?X"'ne " Australasian," says : - l ne *"% oume C i ub) i ara informed, intend to ufc fQr nexfc soason a nrst  class coach fOl . young ! PW rB; fi 'hite haa undertaken to select a fii man Already a pood r/uWd towards raising the funds fj p a reall ood professional, j^i^^e^ themselves are I belief d , ous tQ hftVe Bri [outifhecan t ~

HUMOROUS.

What a barixif mustn't do—Lather^ fog wife. j Why is a lunafife like an empty house 5— Because there is it vacant stair.

To all in Difficulties.—Here's* a wishiag ytd'e-feido over them.

Is- it not very absurd; to call bills' that you galliot a-!>!e to pay "bills payable I"

Sorw folk uro too promtl to beg ant? too1 honest tto .steal, and so they get trusted.

Don't Judge a man by the umbrella lie can-ies. Ik may nob be his.

If you w.Vttt to know whether a treo is hollow or not., axe1 it.

"Good morning, Jones—how does the world use you?" "It uses me «p, thank you.'"

A conductor can be polite to the- laditee and at the same time knock down the fare.

When it comes to perseverance, tile hog is entitled to a first premium ; for he always gets at the root of the matter.

The difference between a Dumb Mai' and a Policeman.—One is never seen, the ether never heard.

The Rogue's Own Repast.—Directors-asd: others who cook fcheir accounts ought to be compelled to eat them.

There is said to be a man in Warringfcon who i- habitually so sleepy tlwt his curiosity cannot lie awakened.

Cai-lyJt; says : " Laughter means sym patliy." This will bring comfort- to the man who ha.s inadvertently trodden onan orange-prel.

Parallel Existences.—A secret,, like an oyster, cannot be kept too close—for the moment it is opened it ceases to exist..

Seme assert that the M.D. after physicians' names meana " Money Down."

"Industry must prosper," as the miuv said v ':■ ;i holding the baby for his wife to chop wet'd.

An Obliging Landlord. — " Hooliihan,. f'm «j;oi!!•;■ to raise your rent." "Be jabbers, I'm jrlml o' that, son- ! I'll be hanged if I can."

An otiic-er giving orders to a sentinel com manded him not to stir a foot, but walk up and down and see what he could hear.

The differencel between the daily exis tence of man and woman is that that of most men is made up of—toil, while that of most women is made up of—toilet.

" Pitch your voice in a low key," says a writer on etiquette. We presume etiquette can be temporarily dispensed with when trying to wake the boys in the morning. Impecunious Lover : " Be mine, Amanda, and you will be treated like an angel.*"" Maiden : " Yes, I suppose so. Nothing to eat and less to wear. No, I thank you."

Snyiiijj and Thinking.—" You are very handsi'inc," said a gentleman to a lady.. " Pooh !"' said the lady, " ho you would .say if you did not think so." "And so you would think," answered he, " though I should not say 50.."

How fco Avoid Quarrels. —The laAe Mr John Junes being a«ked by a friend liow he kept himself from being involved in: quarrels, replied : "By letting, the angry person, have all the quarrel to himself." An old judge told a young lawyer that he would do well to. pick some of the feathers. from the wings, of his imagination and stiiik, them into the tail of his judgment. Jivksvy.—" Fiulder, dero's a fly in. der soup." Mr (John-—"Veil, eat all but der fly before you. show it to der waiter ; den. you fan. yet some more." I'.-uV (Jompacition.—"That's the smallest horse I ovor saw," said a countryman oa viewing a Shetland pony. " Indade, now," replied his Irish companion, " I've seen one a.- .-mall ;is two of him."

,Sby was n crank on the subject of music A gentleman knocked at her door and asked :—" Does Mr Smith live here ?" " No, air, his room is an octave higher in the next, il.it," she replied, in a pianissimo andunte tone of voice.

A rheumatic, who could .scarcely hobble about, managed to slip out of bed, dress, himself, and get down several nights of stairs, all in about two minutes, the other morning, in Edge-lane, because somebody had cried " Fire !"

A Base Deception.—Mike (a shaky credi Lor). "Shure, didn't ye git my tilig.rum last Friday, ordtherin' tin barfs uv uny im*z':" Pat: "Faith, Mike, I did; but shure when I saw by the wroitin' that it wasn't ycrsilf that sint it at all, at all, I gist U'litcd it as a forgery, and ignored it intoircly." Comfort for Whales.—A i)Oet>. believed to be American, thus apostrophises the whole order of cetacea : —

Ho! whales that sail the deep, repine not at your fa'e; Your Hush illuminates the world, your bonos rnuku women great.

This is the way the " Buffalo Courier " tries to hel[) forward the reform.: —At the academy last night it was noticed that only the homely and somewhat aged women, wore high hats. The fact was the subject of general comment among the men. Men arc strange creatures. They will waste an hour hunting a collar button in stead of having an extra supply and letting their wife find the missing one; You never sou a woman look for the pin she drops.. Her husband finds it when he-walks round in his bare feet.

Boss : " What can Ido for you■?." Appli cant : " I can do the same work your pres sent bookkeeper does for twenty dollars a. month cheaper." "Thank yoiL." "Are you going to let me take- hLs place ?." '' Well> no ; but I'll knock twenty dollars- a month off his wages, thanks to your suggestion." Everything Ready for Him.—Fashionable Mother (to fashionable daughter): Are- you going out, dear ?—Fashionable Daughter : Yes, mamma.— Fashionable-Mother : And if the hairdresser sbo<r .'<.! come while y.o» are>, out ? —Fashionable- Daughter : O-h» 1 bava left, full instructions, with Jane..

The Prince of Wales's Stable.

"I HEAR that the Princaof Wales.has *com missioned John, Porter, of Kuigscler* . ( his trainerj ta purchase, as. occasion oif ers,"a few choicely-bred mares, for the he jeding stud which his Royal Highnssshas 7 to establish, at Sandringhara,, wlis* ,re there are several paddocks admirably .•w' t apted for the purpose to which they a**. devoted. Several roomy boxes are now being built aft Sandringham for the mac* JS i n the new sfcud, which, I understand, ris to be under She charge of F. Walker, v /ho was stud groom to the lato F, Anther, at New market. Lady Peggy, vrtv j was bought by the Prince of Wales as a 'yearling for 1,000 guineas from Sir Tattoo. Sykes, and who excited a sensation by unexpectedly win ning a Maiden Plate at "Newmarket on the Cambridgeshire Day, is the first mare in this new Royal stud, and she has been sent to Bond Or, at Eatyon. The Queen might as well make over the Hampton Court stud to the Prince of Wales, who would pro bably take- an. active interest in its management. Of late years there has boon a great deal of muddling in con nection with this establishment), which jin ono way and another is a considerable j xpenso to olio counjjry."—■" World."

THE -AUCKLAND EVENING STAR, SATURDAY. APML „, bIBB 7.

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