HUMOROUS.

I sp(p n: (to Chinese bar-tender): I iffi* 1* 'alf and Jalf, John.' ■ Joiai hands him a glass half full. ij Bfjtiopi'Blawstyou, I said an alf ■iiohnV'Yes. Allee right-halfee I fej halfee no fullee.' 1 te Ffenchmen who were studyinjg ■ nolumeof Shakespeare in their I Mttve language endeavoured to tran ■ iti iato) English the well-known 1 osffiiog to- Hamlet's soliloquy, 'To I fprnotto.be.' The following was 13 the r^ilt: KnfftMdwaWv'To was, or not Sood ditto: 'To were, or is to Third ditto; 'Toßnould, or not to I NewQkl: 'Please, mum, shall Oi I cook these dried beans ?' Lady: 'Beans? That's coffee. 'That's the quarest looking coffee I Ofawenyet 1 1 'Yflumust grind it in that mill, and I li«i} will show you what to 4o with 1 i I thought that you had lived m I todon for fen years.' f%mi* ; with Mrs Wmkura.. I 'B^ the way, where does this Mrs I Wiskumjive? 1 'feekapesthe coffee-tavern, mum.

SKINNY MEN.

I.'WeWf fto^te^enewer" rcatore&heftlUjand SpjiTcnns pmepsia, linpotencf, S^™*1 At chemftts1 and druggists .-K-emp- V^fT^er {fc-Co,. Agents. Aacfc'and.

ITBE AUCKLAND EVENING STAK, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBJEK * sJir 18*'*

7



E. PORTER AND CO. Wholesale and Retail Ironmongers, Iron and Steel Merchants, QUEEN AND HIGH STREETS, : ALsO, IM -tv W TO3ST,, IISnE-WJVIIJ^IRKEI? STrMOISrZDS STEBET. l\yT ESS^^ PORTER AND m v, Q^ a splendid Assortment of ELECTRO-PLATED WARE, embracing all Latest Designs bsth iii J.VX ornamental and useful articles most suitable for CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. Inspection Invited. - «$ ........ ■ IN ELECTRO PLATED WARE Jsr '^L IN ELECTEO-FLATBD WAKE. E. PORTER AND CO., Queen and High Streets, Auckland, also at Newton, Newmarket, and Symonds Street.



easiness Notices. Iron Ourved for Verandas (ANY PATTERN) SHORTEST NOTICE. GEORGE McCAUL, MANUFACTURING PLUMBER AND IMPORTER OF ALL TRADE REQUISITES WELLESLEY STREET EAST New Library) and , BROWN fc DAVY STREETS. THAMES, HAS FOR SALE— 200 Corrugated Galvanised Tanks, assorted CM Colonial Ovens, all sizes 50 000 Feet Lead Sdge Wdgo Cap, all sizes fio'ooo P^cet O.G. Spouiinsr. all sizes fiO 000 Feet Downpipes, all sizes . 60000 FeetGalvaniied^Water Pipes, allaizes Lead-head Nails. Load Waahen Portable Ovens, Furnace Frames JaWKSiW, and Butter Tine on the latest American principle, in Ftc# quantitie.as^r agreement Awarded Three First Prizes for iahove lines at Awarae Auckland Agricultural Show. Lateat »ri be»t ee^t^m of Q«* Globes in ordorapunctually attended to. MCARTHUB & CUH / IMPORTERS OF EARTHENWARE, CSHINA, ft GLASS, QOEEy'STEEET, AUOKI^N»» '' HAVE ON HAND: [ * r AHftE AND WELL-ASSORTED STOCK . ALABO?E^Y DESCRIPTION OF EAB THENWARE. ■ > Now Landing, ex Star pf the East,- PAT^T OMSS FBUIT Ex Piako,— ■iqsOBTJBD CRATES OF A EARTHENWARE (Suitable fQr Country Storekeepers). } w m. & 0°- 1



Business Notices. USEFUL, DURABLE, CHEAP, AT McLEOD BROTHERS', Wholesale and Ketail Manufacturers of Wiokup Furniture, Perambulators, and every description of Baskotwaro. THE AUCKLAND BASKET FACTORY, ALBERT STREET <near V.M.C.A.) HOME JEWEL WASHING MACHIME IT WASHES EVERYTHING, from LACE I'O A COALSACK; CLEANS I'ttOLJSEKS without wetting a flngor of knocking otl a button. It does away with wet feet, pains in the arms, back, and breast, and does, a big day's washing in two hours. HUNDREDS OF TESTIMONIALS. M. M. LEVY, SOLE AGENT, AkEEBT HOTEL. O RIONt /WON, WHAT IS IT Saddlers and Harnessmakers. mENNIS BACKETS^ Restrung and Repaired Npw *^<Z&J^ is the time to ; .x<<jy Saddlery A Harriets ■** GKKATLY REDUCED TRICES. s>^^^ 165, QUEEN,STREET. SADDLERY AND TTARNESS. ___— ■ ■ '. SELLING OFF ! SELLING OFF! 20 PER CENT. REDUCTION. G. F. HILL, SADDLER, 175, QUEEN-STREET (Next British Hotel), 3e K B to announce to his frfcmds that he wjl| CLEAR THE WHOLE OF HIS STOCK



Public Notices. BRETT'S AUCKLAND ALMANAC, 1888, IS NOW PUBLISHED, and may be had at the Stationers or Star Office. PRICE ONE SHILLING. The Book contains a vasb quantity of specially useful apd varied iniOOTftt>ioi*i as subjoined ljsb of subjects indicates :— Acclimatization Matamata Estate Administrative Departments Measurement of an Acre Agriculture, Progress of Medical Practitioners Agricultural Statistics, Counties , Members of Parliament Agricultural Statistics of New Zealand Memoranda for, 12 Months Arrival and Departuro of Mails Mercantile Institutions Art Gallery and Free Library Meteorological Observation Astronomical Phenomena Ministry, Members oi Auckland, City of Money Orders, P.O. and Telegraph Auckland. Provincial District of Moon, Phaser of Auckland Harbour Signals Mortgages Birthplaces of Colonists Momnsvxlle Breweries, Statistics of Mount Tarawora Calendar, Monthly Music, Art. and the. Drama Calliope Dock North Auckland Poptnsula Cape Colville Peninsula Occupation of the People Charitable Institutions Official Directory ' . Cheese and Butter Factories Onenunga and Suburbs City and Suburban Governments Orange institutions City Wards, Valuation of Parcel Post, Inland Climate of New Zealand Patetere Country Coal-Mining Statistics Payers of Property Tax Commercial Men, Statistics of Personal Property Commercial Societies Piako District Conjugal Condition of Colonists Pink Cauldron Country South of Auckland Places of Worship, .Statistics Courts and Judicial Directory Police Force&nd Criminal Class Criminal Classes Population of Australasia, 188 D Croos Average Yield of Population of New Zealand Crown Lands Alienated, Australia, 1885 Population of Attpklaftd . Crown Lands of Auckland • Fflata* Catena of Aust?alasia Custpms Revenue , . p Pstaife Rates • -CHStoros Tariff Post Office Information Defence of the Colony. , _~, Post Offioe ; Re^iv.l9g Boxes Direct Service Mail Kme Table Produce, etc. Prices of Distances at Sea, Table of Protestant AUianoe Dividends paid by Thames Mines Principal Articles of Calendar 4 „„*„.,, Drowned How to Treat Apparently Proportionate Public Revenue of Australa ffiSSfif^SST ! PubWevS of Australia ■ SSt tffFemalee, Statlßties |üblio E^enditure of AusU^Uwte ■ English Mail Time Table ' • PuWiQ Debt o| Australasia, 188b Farmand Garden Calendar for 12 Months Public Libraries, Statistics p£ ~ ,-, Farm Homestead? on Perpetual Lease J^f lan Dißt^ cP. FlnaiaeTal Condition of the Colony Rafiway Statistics Fire Alarms Beady Reckoner Flax Mills, Statistics of Rechabitos Friendly Societies* Statistics Religious Denominatoons Game Season . ... ■ Revenue and Expenditure 1 General Government, The . ' Rotorua to Rotpmohana Gold-Mining Statistics Rotorua to Wairakei Good Tempers, Ind. Order Rptoma&anaChpam GoveSSfDeSrtnSSfat Wellington Sa^Frinciscjßoute'MailTlme TaW f Orn in Mills Settlements South of Auckland GreyCo&on Settlements North of Aucklaid HXCB.S Directory Shoep Statistics BMt. Water Table, North Island Shipping Statistics „ Hffih Water Table South Island Shipping <>f Australasia, 1885 Hospitals SouUiofAuckland,Counti-y Household Expenses for 12 Months Sports Dixectory House of Representatives, Members Of, Sktistical SummaTy of 35./. Howthe Land is Held Suburbs of Auckland Immtoation Suburban and City Government iSmigrationandEmißTOtionin Australasia, '85 Tariff, Customs ■g^ffl^a^«W«ta.l« ittes^ Railway Imports and Exporte Total Abstinence Societies independent Order Oddfellowo Trade fooietias fifeaasSr &i& c Roe& co sns ffihsS? 8 ÜBtal itSSSShm** States «Kmenr°° 1W Stafe" gl&Me^eraof w»S Valley S^Sfflfa^fpolitical Soeletie 8 * |flffi fflffS«oU«aa v^mnii to wSkm Wonderland of New Zealand KB %Bw%rt * Woolleil factories, Statistics of All Orders forwarded to Star Office will be promptly executed.



I,B»fc»fcjrtMkof Christmas drapery and MRS Auckjand is to be found at b '* Wt. Short, Queen-sfcree*.-[AWT.]



HI '^^W wtL'i*Ti!Tl~^"ll'llll|> 'v j ' , „ i i iv m< ~ in a ii ' —————— ■ jjj MOSJPjfIBVF.HAa.i.J (S.M.HBBAFATP |p HE-EAPATH aOT) SOU, 1 ■ , ARCHITECTS. I >, Veum*> bawk auuwiNcg. |||BWAftD B4RTLEY, AWJHITIIOT, tOCHBUSTfi BUILDING3L I ijDViS}) MAHONEY AND SON, AECHITE Ti, ;! ltfa P.'?, M. BURROWS, i* 1 * AHCHITECT AND BUIW)^0 kj __ WftVEYOR. i *>*>——&1* yya»B<A AJtCADE. - I) W ,J.. SKIJJNBB ANP SON M " • gilders. Corpentera, and Joiners, ip VuloanL^ne. 9 of the Boildinx Trade «xe«nit»d by 2 ai^^Pwienced Workmen. || ->JggPgronta. OlHce Fittings, &o. 9 \| f *■ BUR B 0 W 3, SJ HERALDIC ARTIST, , u*UJJIhA'BQK. DiCSIGNKR. J and Trade Maxk Agency. 1 Bnj'o ftA^^iAND Offices: „ -1 *Jj OHAMBEUS, QUEEN-STREET | yfuli aM~i r¥?n gto n,



. Business Notices, "". APPEAL UDffl AND GENTLEMEN, I 'wish respectfully to call your attention i© a matter of very grave importance, and at the same time ask your assistance in, at ieasfe, countenancing a matter that ough ; to be looked into by EVERY PURCHASER OiF iCLOTHItfG, viz., Are you Supporters of New Zealand Clothing Factories, OR, Are you Supporters of Australian Clothing Factories? MY ANSWER IS, IT MATTERS NOT TO R. GRAY, THE CHEAP CASH DRAPER,1 As in the last two stocks which I purchased for about TEN SHILLINGS IN THE POUND, the fixture^ are full of both, consequently ! lam now offering the following lines * g1 at abuot " "' < <- ■■• 'ji ;..;.•■ . ■■■.;. -i oil ij HALF PRICE. 1 50 MEN'S KAIAPOI AND GEELONG "LION BRAND" TWEED "SUITS, sold elsewhere 65s ; reduced to 38s 9<l 45 MEN'S KAIAPOI AND GEELGNG " LJON BRAND " SUITS, sold elsewhere 52s 6d ; reduced to 37s 6d 35 MEN'S GEELONG "LION BRAND" TROUSERS AND VESTS, sold elsewhere 26s 9d; reduced to 17s 9d ] , ' 55 MEN'S GEELONG " LION BrlAtfD " TROUSERS AND VESTS, sold elsewhere 32s ,6d; .reduced to 19s <9d , 50 MEN'S GEELONG "LION BEAND" TROUSERS, sold .elsewhere 17s M> reduced to Us 9d * 100 PAIRS MEN'S " LION BRAND "MOLE TROUSERS; reduced to 4s Ud and 5s lid ; The above Goods are sold elsewhere for nearly double my quotations, but as I am . not a supporter of Australian manufactures when we can produce A BETTER' ARTICLE FOR I.ESS IyiONEY in lifew Zealani, I am prepared, «nd in the position to *ell, the aiDove lines atthe prices already quoted, Bimply beoause I purchased them for 11s 9d If 4 THS POUND. BY Q3RDER OF r i THE CHEAP CASH DRAPER, t OPPOSITE BANK OF NEW ZEALAND, QUEEN-STREET, And at J. GILMOUR'S OLD PREMISES, Karangahape Road, opposite Bank of New Zealand. N.B.—ln reference to my HALF PRICE SALE of J. Gumotjr's £5 500 Stock nnr f .fa&sed for Us 9d in the £, I have the pleasure of tliankingmy Customers and the public in general for the ready response I hays received at their hands, as witnessed by tie th" atron^ed £ *** herewith tender my sincere thanks to all Half Price Sale, Promising to give them GREATER BARGAINS still between this and Christmas, as By Order R. GRAY, The well-known Cheap Cash Draper, NEWTON & QUEEN - STREET OPPOSITE BAN£ OJ? NEW ZEALAND, *