A QUEER ALBUM.

Writing Autographs on a Skull.

Ayotoc lady iii Texas, United States, has lit upon the ghastly idea of utilising a numanskiill as an autograph album. The ikoll was originally the property of a Mexican, who died on the Rio Grandy without the benefit of a benediction, wd probably, in its time, it wore a JMDty sombrero and held an un- Mmbered quantity of cigarettes between ij»glistening jaws. At present.it is simple * polished white dome of bone, with a °jss standard screwed into its medulla •w attaching it to a slab of black ""Die. The ghastly trinket is regularly TO? upon the young ladies' friends, with oerequsst that they writesomething appro bate upon it. The surface is smooth as CTf. d& little manipulation of an India- IJ *'c and a lithographic pen does the .fT b.°™e °* the inscriptions are worthy J^omele. Between the eyes is this

Where is the patter? where is the clatter? "'Here the grey matter, me vitalised spark ? science erratic, Religion dogmatic WMth quite emphatic And both In the dark. toX?i tilV «%"»««! observer of "™«i nature has penned:

I°£?i n<? "? of Macchiavelli- Agreathead and no backbone. lliSS^^es his tribute in a ttednjgf 0*6 CaiVOr rather Where

«hell from which h* in epwliß Wne. *33t&h the vein is another "^"pt4un nob far away; 1* .^ mother hand has "w \et»e rejoinder: " T,

Odi, \ Itb&Bßoarcd -1 .1?^1?^ BPace o«tot>, as free WO 1 XT*K T* or intellectual as a tm> are these two stanzas : Ev«come?^n on, cc n your b'ai» ---"««level there again? taken in ce t KideSomebody who had !s^lhSf i h!, Contourof fche skull toma^r* the Allowing unkind

?'fefe° n i h. c «?utsid« °f your fc CS through w' *i« y,^,. on h's way to the Htn;;,! 11 hDally cx P«ssed himself >fcCaltnoS3for sculls. S^» l i?ects^a.enoritaand illA^!: i;aiit;S;i;i'= time)Placed ggesUveof Yorick, drew on

the bard of Avoo for his sentiment and wrote:

San 3 hair, sans eyes. Sans teeth, sans everything.

It will be observed that he quoted ad lib. Near this effort is a reflection that ib prob ably suggested :

I believe now that beauty is only skin deep.

The last one is in a cavity that marks where a nice bump of veneration is turned inside out, and is brief and to the point: A bone of contention.

THE AUCKXiAtfP EVENING STAR, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 26. 1887.

7



'« +hn -P niQnnisnf on Purchases ofSs. and upwards at the DIRECT ggjn me gi ua^uuuru importing company's clearance sale. fjf^rder to clear the balance of our Winter Stock, we give a further discount of 3s. in the £, which, together with direct reduction of prices already made, will give the public an advantage of goods at HALF PRICE. 3s, m the £ returned fTOTTRTEEN DAYS only F^ I f** tr°^<r%v% #4 D "I^-J 1 f*\ ojl MESSRS. E. PORTER & CO. have just unpacked their Season's Shipment of Cricket and Lawn Tennis Goods, all of which are of the latest and most approved patterns. Having been purchased direct from the manufacturers they can offer them at the very lowest prices. LAWN TENNIS LAWN TENNIS CRICKET | Wickei Keeping J^^^^^^^S^ Bowling Green \i:|:j:!<;j ■■!■■::::[/ """ i ' p /"\ D I/"\ L/CT DA/^Q (Ivory aud Silver Mounted). The "PREMIER" W||jW LAWN TENNIS I j cricket balls. I CKIOKLI BAtab. • AUst.el »nd Nickel Plated. NETS. I I SCORING BOOKS- ~~ FOOTBALLS "- •- ■ ■•■■" l!l" " i ' I I stumps. (Illy i Hlf The LAWN TENNIS 1 |j gH CRICKET 111 f) \)MaM -.NDYMXON" __I^!!__ j CRICKET NETS. g BELTS. WV Mg — I Lawn Tennis I | CRICKET BAGS . |" f^\ /M CROQUET SETa The-GALATEA" j BA| _ La I j || GOLFSETS< £J ,■ £//fl() -. —— J. I I I Ra+tinp- Gloves »S . DUMB BELLS. j lawn tennis Mi J Batting Gloves and , ; Other Varieties. *| MARKERS. y\ \ LEG GUARDS. RACQUETS. VVicket-keeping GIoVCS. QUQIT3. E. PORTER AND CO., FtrK/Dsrisniisro -aisttd g-eisr:e:r,.a. id n^o-itTMioisrc^ES'^s QUEEN AND HIGH STEEETS,



Insurance New York Life insurance company. Cash Assets, Ist January, 1887 .. £15,518,817 Income for 1886 i' 3,956,874 Local Director: C. C. McMin Ax, EsQ. (Messrs \V. McArthur & Co.) Solicitors: Messrs Russiax & Campbell. Bankers: Bank ok Australasia. Policies issued guaranteeing the return of all Premiums in addition to the sura insured if death occur within a twenty-year period. J. HUGO HARROP, Resident Agent. "\TEW ZEALAND INSURANCE COM- Xl PANY (FIRE AND xMARINE). Capital £1,000,000. Paid-up and Reserve Funds £135,030 Protection from FIRE or MARINE LOSS Can be Effected in this Company. CLAIMS MET WITH PROMPTITUDE AND LIIiERALITY. JAAIJid BUTTLE. Manager. /GOVERNMENT LIFE INSURANCE \JT DEPARTMENT. — 18S0. 1885. SurpUis Cash Profits .. .. £73.670 £245.315 Cash Pividcd as Bonuses .. £56,000 £160,000 Total Reversionary Bonuses added to Policies £443.943 Cash Reserve Profits in 1685 .. .. £95,315 Annual Income £260.000 Total Funds £1,230.000 State Security. Low Premiums. Liberal Conditions. Economy. Lowest Premiums.—These are the Lowest in the Colonies. Liberal Conditions.-The conditions are in all respects niost liberal. Prompt Payments! — Claims are promptly paid on proofs of deaths and identity, and valid dischnrge. Economy.—The latio of expenses to income is far lowe" than that of any other oflico of similar age doing business in the colonies. SEPARATE SECTION FOR TOTAL AB STAINERS.-The only Life Office in New Zea land which offers to Total Abstainers the advantage of a Temperance Section. LOANS OV MORTGAGE. — From time to time a limited por ion of the Funds is Lent on First Mortgage of Freehold Security, with op tion of Re-payment by Instalments Information can be obtained at the Head Office, and all Branches and Agencies. D. M. LUGKIE. Commissioner. Hotels W^HARF HOTEL, QUEEN-STREET. f » JOHN LYNCH Desires to inform his friends and the public, that he is proprietor of the above Hotel Good accommodation ior Travellers; first-class Luncheon Room. Best Brands of Wines and Spirits. Hancock's Sparkling Alo always on draught.



Public Notices. SPRING 188?] ~" ~~ SPRINQ 1887- Smith &Caughey IMPORTERS Ex Steamships Tongariro, Arawa, Aorangi, and Sail ing Vessels Crusader and Piako. SPRING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Silks, Satins, etc. SPKING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Dress Fabrics. SPRING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Prints, etc. SPRING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Mantles. SPRING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Millinery. SPRING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Ribbons, Laces, etc. SPRING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Hosiery and Gloves, SPUING NOVELTIES AND GOOD VALUE in Small Wares. Immense shipments of Calicoes, Sheetings, Shirtings, Hollands, Towels Linens, etc., etc.; direct from Manchester and Belfast Manufacturers, which will be sold ab and under usual wholesale prices lor CASH OWLY. CLOTHING. The celebrated Lion Brand Geelong Clothing in Men's, Youths', and Boys' sizes (obtain able in Auckland only ab our establishment) is proving itself unsurpassed foi cut, nnisn, and wearing qualities. THE GENTS' MERCERY AND HAT DEPARTMENT Will also be found replete with all the requirements fora first-class trade. Gents' Hats, Scarves Ties, Shirts, Collars and Cuffs, Half Hose Braces, etc., in great vanety. All Goods are marked in PLAIN FIGURES for VASE ONLY. JVO SECOND PRICES AND NO DISCOUNTS. Any Article not approved and returned in good con dition Within U dajfS WiU oe exchanged for other goods or money refunded. SMITH & OAUGHEY, WHOLESALE .ATTD FAMILY DRAPERS. TELEPHONE 338. __________ CHEAP DRAPERS, CLOTHIERS, AND GENERAL STOREKEEPERS KAUAtfGAHAPE ROAD, CSSS&SS. ffwras. /CHARLES QMI TH, ®@!8^ Sk. lp:-?i MANUFACTURER OF BASSISETTEB. «gk jSpf Wif*f^W^f p or an»bulators of anr make repaired or taken io ys&^ssicm2 /Kjig-p^fe^-'f-T/ exchange Price list post free, /twSsC2ss33-iU>i AUCKLAND PERAMBULATOIt FACTORY. Vvm^fiiKy



Poultry. T>LYMOUTH ROCKS. "THE CHAMPION STRAIN." Unequalled as prize-takers in New Zealand. See advertisement in Brett's " Farmer." Mr GRESHAM, Te Awamutu. Town Agents-Messrs MORPETH BROS., Wharf, Auckland. "PLYMOUTH ROCKS. EGGS! EGGS! EGGS! Eggs from Pure-bred Prize Plymouth Rocks of the best strains. Thirteen Eggs (or 10s: cash with order. Agents for l)evonport—Johnson & Noble, Grocers, Devonport. J. SINCLAIR, Lake Takapuna, Auckland. URE-BRED" DARK BRA"H MAS, FKOM. PitlZE AND iMI'ORTKD KI'KAINS. A few choice Young Hens for sale at 7s 6d each, forwarded f q Auckland Wharf or Papa kura Railway Station on receipt of postal note, addressed to Clcvedon Post-office. \V airoa fouth. GGS HATCHED, in any quantity, at 3s per dozen chicks.—Pelham and Roberts, Incubator Manufacturers, Albert-street. F~"0R SALE, Sittings of Eggs from Pure bred Houd an Fowls, 5s for 15.—Apply to A. J. Hurndall. West \£nd Dairy, .lervois Road. E~GGS for Hatching—A Few Sittings of Silver S angled Hainburgs and Silver Spangled Pol&nds, from Mr F. A. White's Prize Stock, can bo obtain* d on application to Mr John A alkev. Market Place. TGCS for Sale.—Best Birds for Winter J Layers; Plymouth Rocks. 10s per dozen, from Mr Gresham's and Mrs Bennett's Prize Strains; Rouen Ducks, 5s per dozon, from my prize Birds. Delivered free in Auckland on rc cept of Postal Note.—Miss Bluck, Clovcdon P.O. J. BUTCHER.] [J. GROOM. T*T E HAVE FOR SALE:— Rod and Bar Iron, Wiro Nails Fencing liarb Wire, Roofing Iron Sash Weights, Buckets, Tubs Springs and Patent Axles Coarse and Fine Salt 3 ID h.p. nominal Portable Engine, by WallisaudStecvens, with duplicate wearing parts Hoisting Engines, from 3 to 5 h.p., with reversing gear. GROOM, B UTC HER, & Co., FORT-STREET. Telephone 2il.J_ ESS THAN WHOLESALE PRICES. One Pound Packet of good China Tea, 6 Pounds good Fiji Sugar, and 1 Dozen Boxes Swedish Matches for 2s 6d at— EARLE AND MONTGOMERY'S, Kakangahape Road.



Public Notices ' BOOTS. BOOTS. BOOTS. KARANGAHAPE ROAD, AUCKLAND. THOMAS EYANS Begs to call attention to bis splendid Stock of Boots and Shoes manufactured by himself, SPECIALLY SUITED TO THE PRESENT SEASON. Every Boot made by the House is guaranteed to keep the feet dry. And for style and durability they cannot be surpassed, the following being a few of tbt SPECIAL LINES AND PRICES: Boys' strong but neat School Boots )7 to 10—4s 6d; 11 and l&-*5s 9<J; IS and l-r-059d lace up \ 2 and 3—7s 9d j 4 and s—Bs 9d, Girls' strong but neat School Boots )6 to B—3s 9d ; 9 and 10—4s 9d ill to 13—5s 9d lace up I •_ I and 2—6s 9d. All sizes in High Leg best French Calf, equally cheap. Men's Bluchers, warranted the best in the trade fob 6s 9d. Men's Shooting Boots, 10s 9d. Men's splendid Elastic, best American Tweed, 10s 9d. Ladies1 High Leg Calf and Kid in every variety, Buttoned, Laced and Elastic, The public are invited to inspect the samples on view outside the shop, ticketed in plain figures, and to judge of the style and quality for themselves. Please Note tub Addrkss— T. E'V.AITS THE PEOPLE'S BOOTMAKER KARANGAHAPE ROAD, NEWTON. SEASONS 1357-1888. J2§j"lS^K^& SEASONS 1887-1888. < THE BON MARCHE QUEEN STREET, AUCKLAND. .A.. LZESTXIETTIR & CO. MILLINERS & COSTUMIERS, Are now showing all the latest ENGLISH and PARISIAN NOVELTIES in DRESS FABXICS. Em broidored Lawn Robes, Plain and Fancy Tussore Silks, Lace Fkrancings, Braid and Bead Sots and Panels, Trimming Silks, choice and carefully selected Millinery, trimmed and uutrunmed CorßCts, Gloves, Ribbons, Laceß, in great variety, Fancy Sets, Flowers, Feathers, etc., etc. THE BEST VALUE OBTAINABLE IN EVERY DEPARTMENT FOB NEXT CASH ONLY! jmrcSSMAKING A SPECIALTY,-Fit, stylo, and finish of every Dress made ac TOE BON KAROHE, for 12s : 6d, only, is equal to any procurable in the Colony. Mounstas and country orders receive prompt attention. PATTERNS FOBT FJUS&