A Practical Lesson.

Wh6n the electric telegraph was first introduced into Chili, a stratagem was resorted to in order to guard the posts and wires against damage on the part of the Araucanian Indians, and main tain connection between the strong holds on the frontier. Just about this time there were between forty or fifty captive Indians in the Chilian camp. General Pinto, fearing that this import ant work of civilization would be des troyed, called the prisoners together, and pointing to the telegraph wires, said :

' Do you see those wires ?' ' Yes, general.'

' Very good. You must neither go near, nor touch them, for if you do your hands will be held fast and you will be unable to get away.'

The • Indians smiled incredulously. Them the general made each of them in succession take hold of the wires at both ends of an electric battery in full operation. After which-he exclaimed':

' I command, you to let go the wire !' 'I cannot, sir; my hands, are be numbed !' cried the Indian.

The battery was then stopped, and the man released. Not long afterwards the general restored them to liberty, giving them strict injunctions to keep the secret, and not to betray it to their countrymen-on1 any account. This had the desired effect, for, as might be ex pected, the story of the experiment was related in the strictest confidence to every man of the tribe, and thetelegraph has ever since remaiued unmolested.

The Rival Candidates.

Mpma Gray was the lovely object t rivalry .of two men-Augustus • ck and Julius Candy. She was, superlative sense of the word, a I she bad the figure of a sylph, fjovely and animated enough to ' Dioeenes himself into matrimony git not least in the eyes of n>a suitors, the purse of a nabob. !„ tad each heard of the other, j f his pretensions, but circumstan fi fortunately never yet brought L into collision. It was a lovely May- Ail the world was Sto town. Georgiana Gray Ss,forsaken pleasant Nice, to par- Si in the thickening gaieties of the oolis- Augustus had returned *Tvisit to Scotland; and Julius Jtat ended his usual trip on the Sent. The first object of Augus iieturningto town was to hasten j! his devoirs to his intended. S intent he proceeded to the !sbn of Georgiana, and was ushered i drawing-room, with the assur tftbat the lady would be with him lately. The servant, however, losooner quitted the apartment ujj r Candy, actuated by a similar %. knocked at the door, and was L|y conducted into the presence rival. • foe two gentlemen, being mutually wnt of the person of the other, j^wilh all the formality usual to a istintroduction. fine day, sir,'said Augustus Pea after a short pause, little aware sthe was holding communion with q t is—very fine, sir,' returned Julius Um'th a smile, which, had he fcj conscious of the person he was fesing, would instantly have been jiated into a contemptuous sneer. 'feyeybu had the pleasure of see ijliss Gray, sir, since her return askoad ?' inquired Augustus, with ulcivility of a man of fashion. ii,l have not yet had that honour, iijlie'd Julius, with a slight in- CEflof his body. armiug girl, sir/ remarked Mr LA ' ■WE. kidating creature,' responded IWy; 'U you ever see such eyes, sir?' .id1 Mr P. - ■ • ■

feed 'pon ray honour ! never !' ittl Julius, in a tone of moderate sksiasm. ' You may call them eyes, he elevated his own. 'tffrhat lips!' 'ffitFvely provoking.!' 'ill, sir.!1 languisbingly remarked %05tus,'he will be a happy man fejfts possession of such a treasure!' 'He wi!l indeed, sir,' returned his tboirarival, with an air of self-satis »m, as if tie believed that happiness fefeytobehisown.- %are~aware, I suppose, sir,' pro- Mr Peacock, '^ there is a certain party whom « Gray looks upon with particular i^'-and the gentleman, to give Nit emphasis to the remark, M] elevated his cravat.

:'1 should think I ought to be,' My returned Mr C, simpering J*t diffidently at the idea that koiserraticnv was levelled at himself. Jae two rivals looked at each other, M and bowed.

'Ah, yes—l dare say—observed it, "tabt!1 said Augustus, when his «*n had subsided. % yes-l should have been ■l "deed could I have failed to responded Julius. fjj yes-you're right—yes—Miss J attentions have been particularly **«, certainly—yes.' Jjjf have been, sir, very, very Jed-she's quite taken, poor thing, •Mine!' \ poor, creature !—sadly smitten J& The lady has confessed as JJ'»you perhaps, sir ?' . J Udy looked surprised at the J* of his companion, and replied, ,^'ly, sir, that is a question k". yes, I beg pardon. I was wrong. ™m to have considered; but JJ. sir, what do you think of the

honour, my dear sir/ ex- feelingly, colouring Mi the question, which he <zj ' tobe sure, «is rather-a t question, considering, you <r m-the Prtseuce of the lW 5 v not ?> ddicale ' * can assure •£?&£* lhough * f °bserved Ac embarrass- S {m! orn, paßlOn' and could not Nto v ghler; and turnin S C, ompanion ' inquired N by «! aS 'm-anTeasure' similarly S«iJ J mt™V of his uri dyvedthat t he n[le . seem of ff p ec uii ar i y

gay disposition; and the two rivals, each delighted with the fancied approval of his suit by the other, indulged in a mutual cachinnation.

• I suppose,' after a slight pause, re marked Augustus, with apparently per fect indifference, 'you are- aware that there was a rival in the field ?'

1 Oh, ah, did hear of a fellow/ re sponded Julius, with equal insouciance; 1 but the idea of any other man carrying off the prize—perfectly ridiculous !' ' Oh, absolutely ludicrous, 'pon my soul! Ha, ha, ha!' 'It is astonishing the confounded vanity of some people !' ' And their preposterous obtuseness ! Why, a man with half an eye might see the folly of such presumption.' ' To be sure, stupid dolt!' ' Impudent puppy !' ' Conceited fool!' ' The fellow must be out of his senses!' 'Yes, a horsewhipping perhaps might bring him to !' 'Ay, or a good kicking might be salutary !' The unanimity of the rival candidates produced, as might be supposed from their ignorance of the pretensions of each other, ar feeling of mutual satisfac tion and friendship, which, after a volley of anathemas had been fired by each gentleman against hrs rival, in absolute unconsciousness of his presence, ultimately displayed itself by each of them rising from his chair, and shaking the other most energetically by the hand. 'Really, my dear sir/ exclaimed Augustus, in an inordinate fit of enthuasiasm at the supposed sympathy of his companion, 'I never met with a gentleman to peculiarly to my fancy as yourself.' •The feeling is perfectly reciprocal, believe me, my dear sir,' returned Julius, equally delighted with the imagined friendship of Mr P. ' I tryst that our acquaintance will not end here.'

' I shall be most proud to cultivate, it, I carvassure-you.'

' Will you allow me to present you with a card?'

• I shall be too' happy to exchange it for one of my own !' and so saying the parties searched for their cases— Mr P.. meantime protesting his gratifica tion * to meet with a gentleman whose opinons so thoroughly coincided with his1 owrf,'—and Mr C. as emphatically declaring 'that he should ever consider this the most fortunate occurrence of his life.'

' Believe me, I shall be most happy tcrsee you at any time,' observed Mr Augustus Peacock, smilirrg as he placed the small oblong of cardboard which bore his name and address in the hand of his companion.

'I shall feel too proud if you will honour me with a call at your earliest convenience,' said Mr Julius Candy, bowing, whilehepresehted to his fancied friend the little pasteboard parallelogram inscribed with his title and residence. The eyes of the two gentlemen, how ever,, were no sooner directed to the cards, which had been" placed in there hands, than the smiles which had pre viously gladdened their countenances were instantaneously changed into ex pressions of the most indignant scorn and surprise. ' Peacock' shouted Candy. ' Candy !' vociferated P^eacoclc. 'Sir!' exclaimed the furious' Mr P., ' had I known that Candy wasthe name of the man, sir, tfhom I was'a'ddfessing, sir, my conduct you would'have found, sir, of a very different character !' ' And had I been aware,' retorted the exasperated Mr C, ' that. Peacock was the title of the fellow' (and he laid' a forty-horse power of emphasis upon the word) ' with whom I have been conversing, my' card would never have been delivered to him but. with a different motive.' ' Fellow, sir! I think you said fel low, sir ?' ' I did, sir. Fellow was the word I used : and I repeat it—fellow—fel low !' ' You do, sir! And I throw it back in your teeth, sir, with the addition of fool, sir !' ' Fool ? Noj no; not quite a fool— only near one, sir !' 'You're a conceited puppy, sir!' 1 And you an impudent scoundrel, sir!' 'I his brought matters to a crisis. The parties embraced their canes with more than ordinary ardour, and', by their lowering looks, indicated a fer vent desire to violate the peace of her blessed Majesty, when the fair cause of their contention suddenly entered the apartment. It was no difficult matter, in the positions they occupied, for Georgiha divine the reason of their animosity: Which she effectually allayed by inform ing the angry disputants,' ' that either had no reason to look upon the other with any degree oi jealousy, for she humbly begged to assure them that her affections were devoted to-neither.'

This, of course, put full stop to their chivalry; each party seized his Hat, bowing distantly to the insensible Georgianav and left the: ftottse;- vowing certain destruction- tatfie other; but.

upon cool reflection, Messrs C. and P. doubtless deemed it advisable not to endanger the small quantum of brains the individually possessed by fighting for a lady who was so utterly blind to their manifold merits.

Thus ended the feud of the rival candidates.

A Sad Dog.

Simon Paap, or as Irish O'Brien used to call him. the Great Dwarf, reaped a good harvest by exhibiting his diminutive proportions to the good citizens of Amsterdam. But for a man of bis inches, Simon went extraodinary lengths in dissipation; in fact, he was a little rake, and the money went 33 fast as it came. The show beginning to get stale, did not find his person pay as well as it is supposed to do in default of the purse, and it became necessary to hit upon some expedient for raising the wind. Accordingly, having taken formal leave, in the character of their grateful, obliged, and humbly obedient dwarf, he got himself sewed up in a skin by some of his confederates, and, in.a few days, Simon Paap made iiis appearances before an admiring public as a Wonderful Dog ! As he had well studied his part, and performed it to perfection, he was honoured with the patronage of the most distinguished personages in Amsterdam, and large sums were offered for him to his supposed master, but of course de clined. Amongst the other accomplish ments, the Wonderful Dog could take a hand, or rather paw, at cards, and as Simon was a sharp player, he began to be looked upon as a lucky dog, as well as a clever one, when an awkward event brought his golden dog-days to an end. He was playing against a French officer, and had won such an amount that (he latter could not help venting his vexa tion by a few sharp cuts of his cane, an inflection which instead of calling forth a whine or a howl, produced a very distinct exclamation in Paap's mother-tongue. Aware of this slip, he immediately bolted out of tne house, as if he got the hydrophobia, and the same night secretly quitted Amsterdam, leaving, like a real mad dog, a good many bitten people behind him.

TH& AUCKJLAND EVEMJW STAB, FRIDAY, AUGUST 5, 1887.

7



DRESS MATERIALS DRESS MATERIALS DRESS MATERIALS MEN'S CLOTHING. fif every description at the v CJ , ~ _ _..,_,__, ~, . FRENCH DIAGONALS MERINOS Must be sold, as we are determined nottohold over Notwithstanding the large seasons tuwoverin thi3 REMUNERATIVE PRICE. The Executors of the late T. SHORT have decided CAMEL CLOTH F»ULE ESTEMINE Stock from season to season. Department, increase in value in Woollen Goods, &c, fflP 5^ to clear the whole of their immense Stock of WINTER .-,, j^q SOUDANESE JERSEYS ' wo are determined to reduce still further our Stock of __ DR^SS MATERIALS, and in order to do so are mak- ™stttmt< MIXTURES CR4PES ' " '" ' ' ' Sample?, with prices attached, sent FREE to any Clothing, aiid-Jire offering real genuine bargains in Boys' •■irrVPrPTTTA~\T "n]7I?T]?Tl " * iusiuml mia^ Knickerbockers and Trousers, Men's Trousers, Men's rMf El 11 WIN DM IMA ing immense reductions in all lines. JERSEY CLOTHS 01 TOMAN CLOTHS customer on application; JJj CHECK WINCEYS SERGES And in fact every material imported into Gents' Overcoat;-, Mrckintoshes (with and without «are^ naving the best article and save your m countrv> TQ SECURE capes) must bo cleared reddle's* or cos!. Do not V, iuff-vour BLANKETS from the VIGUJSA OiAJino jj^xui.a iw forget to try us for Hats ana Mercery, we are sun you , y pnrchas „ t ARMOUR CLOTHS CASHMERES IMMENSE ASSORTMENT TO CHOOSE FROM. DRESS MATERIALS. will bo pleased. ors of tie late T. Short. - jUjgjEBET, AUCKLAND) H"" 1" 1-J (~*X IV/f A Ql T-T (~\ ~R QHEEN STRECT^rJCELAN]) -InrtSTOf f:rTHAMES. 1 * ' **&*■ ■^L **—* J—»- -1- *- ■* GRAHAMSTOWN.THAMES.



Public Notices. M. GALLAGHER.] [JOHN GALLAGHER. QUEEN AND FORT STREETS Opposite the Arcade. Opposite the Ahcade. THE PROPRIETORS of the above Hotel wish to draw tho attention of the public to thoir superior and largo Stock of Winks and- Spirits, tho undermentioned brands being specialties :— BROWN & CAMPBELL'S BLEND WHISKY KIKKWOOD'S •• .- BLEND WHISKY THE GAELIC }J WALKER'S SSiS? ROBERTSON'S WHISKY Being Direct Importers we can defy competition, as the following prices will show Walker's Whisky, 4s. 6d. per Bottle. And other brands at equally low prices. Bull Dog Ale and Stout, 14s per dozen. Special Brand of Port Wine for Invalids. LDNCHEON DAILY FROM 1 TILL 2 P.M. Geeat Clearing Sale OK MR JAMES SGUTT'S STOCK OF DRAPERY, CLOTHING, BABY-LINEN, &c. AT HALF-PEICE ! AT HALF-PRICE ! C. HOPKINS Having.purchased the above by public tender, begs to inform the public of Auckland that he intends offering the same on the premises lately occupied by Mr. Scutt in Victoria-street West (corner of Nelson Street). SALE TO COMMENCEON SATURDAY NEXT (A U G U S T 6th). NOTE THE ADDRESS— C. HOPKINS, LONDON HOUSE, Victoria and Nelson Streets. NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC. THE Partnership hitherto existing between Messrs. Neil and Cliffold, Herbalists, of Welleslcy Street, Auckland, having been dissolved by mutual consent on the Ist of June, Dr. Neil has now become the sole proprietor ami will continue to cany on the business in future, which will be known as DR. NEIL'S BOTANIC DISPENSARY, Under the management of MR. H. H. KING, who is a thoroughly competent man of loner experience and practice in the Botanic System of Medicine* and who will do his best to relieve and cure all who may think proper to place themselves under his treatment. We desire to thank our old customers for past favours, and (rust by attention to their wants to merit their patronage in the future. We also desire to intimate that wo have removed toinor 0 convenient premises, to the shop exactly opposite the old Ptantl. Ths Business has been thoroughly renovated and improved with tho object of meeting more fully the wants of our customers, and we have now, in addition to a very large stock of Herbs, Roots, Bauks, and our various Herbal Medicines and Compounds,, a large assortment of PATENT AJSTD PROPRIETARY MEDICINES Druggists' Sundries, Perb'umery, &c, &o. The establishment in fact is replete with everything in the way of Medicine. ADVICE FREE.' MEDICINE FOR ALL COMPLAINTS SENT TO ALL PARTS SECURELY PACKED. NOTE THE ADDRESS : DR> NEIL'S BOTANIC DISPENSARY, WELLESLEY STREET EAST. H. H. KING, Manager, Auckland. WE ARE THE CHEAPEST KA^ANGAHAPE fM)AO CORNER Of EASIEST.



Architects. P. HBRAPATH, F.Kr.B.AI.] [S. 11. HERAPATH X> HTBRAPATH and SON, -L • ARCBHTEGTS. Colonial Banic Buildings. WH. SKINNER AND SON, o Bliilders; Carpenters, and Joiners; Vulcan Lane. All Branches of the Building Trade executed by Experienced-Workmen; Shop Fronts, Office Fittings, &c. ED WARD HARTLEY, ARCHITECT, STICHBURY'S BUILDINGS, QUEEN-STKEET. MR. P. F. M. BU R ROWS, ARCHITECT AND BUILDING A.M.P. Society's Buildings. "CIDWAKD MAHONEY AND SON, ARCHITECTS, QUEKX-BTREET, AUCKLAND, "ivtillTam erring ton, M. Ixst. C.E., M.■lnst. M.E., consulting engineer, acgiceand;1



Bnsincs? Notices )f^^^^^ Per.ainbula.lovs of any make repaired or taken in ;llls^Mir V^ivyliP) Ai;CKLANn PKRAMHULATpR. FACTORY, *^^^^^® *" (Near Freeman's Buy.) -**jjr Rew\s Teas, »w% & h and is 4d P ern>, ARE ADMITTED TO BE THE BEST VALUE EVER OFFERED TO THE PUBLIC. WHOLESALE GROCERY STORKS, VICTORIA St. I7ie best Black for Bloom, Beauty, and Durability, Smith (f Caughey. importers cj Dress Fabrics, c}o. \ GIVING UP! GIVING UP! GIVING UP! GREAT CLEARING SALE OK THE STOCK OF J-. Or. BZRO^NTIEsr <Sc OO GENERAL DRAPERS, KARAXGAITAPE ROAD. THE WHOLE STOCK -O RiOOO THE WH°LE STOCK VALUE SivJUwV VALUE MUST BE (.LEAKED GOT IN 1 FEW WKEK?. ENORMOUS REDUCTIONS T7INORMOUS REDUCTIONS .In Manchester and Woollen Goods. In Millinery and Mantles I7INORMOUS REDUCTIONS "JpNORMOUS REDUCTIONS -^ In Dress Good 3 and Costumes. la Clothing and Hata This largo Stock is quite new and nnist be cleared out in a few weeks at a very great sacridee. ■ Como early to the Great Clearing Out Sale of the Stock of' J. G. BRO-WN & CO; ».:-'-..; % ™s WEffi '4&&*&> %/ io, ff j SPECIAL BARGAINS &oo^' , t^N cash Drapery^^. //- %.j -&ov Clothing Company, k», . yds' r **S V>^ \^° s JS* S N 103,QUEENW.^^ %/»v J.R.VAILE. i* r&# E 'I BOOTS BOOTS^ BOOTR KARANGAHAPE ROAD, AUCKLAND. THOMAS EVANS Be^s to call attention to his splendid Stock of Boots and Shoes manufaetttredby himself, SP3SCIALI.Y SUirsb TO TH&'PKESENT SEASON* Every Boot made by the House rs gua^nt^ed to keep the feet dry. And for style and durability they oannot be:Burp&sseid; the foitewi'Dg-beingaJte^ -otth&: SPEGIAL LINES AND PRICES 5 Boys' strong but neat School Boots ) 7tolO--4d6d5 Hand 12—59 9d> 13;^^ l;-=.e»9d lace up \ 2 and 3—7s 9d < 4 and o~ 8S: 9cfc. Girls' strong but neat School Boots )6 to B—Bs 9d ; 9 and-10—4s 9d \ H to, 23—fe-03 lace up \ land 2—6s 96.. All sizes in High Leg best French Calf, equally cheap. Men's Bluchers, warranted the best in the trade bob 6S 9dv Men's Shooting Boots, 10s 9d, Men's splendid Elastlo, beat American Tweed, tQs 9d, LadieB1 High Leg OaU and Kid in every variety, Buttoned, Laced' and Elastic. The public are invited to inspect the samples pn view Qutskl^^e &hppi iH plain figures, and to judge of the style (md quality; for themaeh-es. PtEISE NOTK THE AdDKBSS— X ft AM ▲ H4PI B0 A I), NHWT ON. """'■'■'..; i i i