MORE JILLS IN OFFICE.

to-Postal Counter of Shop in.another part of town. Two more young ladies (Miss Hutina Redtape and. Miss Minks) dis covered. At the counter a stout but agree able youth purchasing post-cards. Various members of general public behind waiting. Miss Redtape is engaged at the telegraphic instrument.

Stout but Agreeable Youth (to Miss ttinkg)._Let's have another look at the thin cues.

Miss Minks—Well, you are a difficult Gj9 to please! (With a killing glance.) were! Now, perhaps you'll make up your Mind!

St. ¥.-Not.so difficult to please as you ™cy. But lam a little particular about post-cards. I write a good deal on post-

%l Minks (archly) -I hope you don't wteyour secrets on post-cards ! e>t. y —if i a o)yyouu > v be able to read » Jouknow.

«5i Mmks~Do you suppose I've any ,T, treading rubbish ? Besides (more •"™y still) I don't even know your hand- Am . * *"** ayerV "ice hand. You ■jfl «c it some day. tS*)*?* Mwab« of Public—Will you IP»tkr ,reifthisletterwillgoforapenny? gJeticaUy.) I've been waiting some iMi« ks (in injured tone) I can't gbly attend to more than one at a CJFh Stout Youth-) You>u eet me ZtA •' you Bee' i! you're so faddy «Wt ohoosmg. You are so silly over it. «aa v t j^f^y y°u'u tnink ib rathev ttifld t°.° fc seem able tc> make up my •Cfo!tT atingly>) Suppose you Perhaps you won>fc •^iltha? makey°urself at M un- The?l3^ (wquettishly) - I don't. efcofthickoDesforyou. Now StY%ft Cc 'andg°away. fioa^-fP^ent Member of Public ilffi StaSP 8 ' MißS ' Please. 11 ki«dlywaiuall tMsw"T rfcon})--You have finished ple^^^an-done for him come er 3 tSt^V 011 think J don'fc kn°»' Ueve Buuh nonsense? I St Y.^Pon. vxi, [Plaintively. "£ Wjyf^-^an't send it ? Non- S^SO^ 8 f ™> * idea: l?^c e r n)~Becauseitisin- l£f^S™^-™™ on

Miss R.—Then I can't send it. [A. of M. remonstrates in vain, pleads and urges—Miss Rutina remains obdurate, and he has to retire, helpless. Miss Minks (gabbling out form handed in by anxious-looking lady)-"For love of Heaven do nothing of the kind. Come to me at once, Tiny " —you want that to go as it is?

Anx. Lady—Yea, yes—there's no hregu larity in it, is there ? Miss Minks (severely)— You know that better than I can tell you. Limmer's? Limmer's what ?

Anx. Lady- Limmer's Hotel Miss Minks—Then that will be another halfpenny—it will be sent off in its proper turn.

[Enter a German servant.]

German Serv. (to Miss R.) —l vas to gif you zis delegram bleaee. Miss R.—Very well; you can leave it. Stop—who's it addressed to ? (With much decision.) This won't do! German Serv.—l vas to gif it to you. Is it not for ze Lord Meyer?

Miss R.—Lord Mayor; yes, I see that well enough, but where ? German Serv.—l subbose vere he dwell at—l do not know how you gall it—on zc oonder-groundt I sink it is. Miss R.—Don't know any Lord Mayor who lives underground - can't take it like this.

Officious Bystander—He means the Man sion House. I should think that would find the Lord Mayor without much difficulty, wouldn't it ?

Miss R. (chillingly)— Can't «ay, I'm sure. (To servant.) Go back and ask your master if he means Mansion House, to say so.

German Serv. (Blankly)—He is goned avay—he vill not be pack undil efening. Miss R.—Then ask him, then.

Germ. S.—l zink it was inbortant—eef you gould dry ab ze Mansions haus, ber haps ? Miss R.—l've no authority to put in any thing beyond what's given me to send—if your master will give an insufficient ad dress, it's not my fault, and you can tell him so.

Off Bystander (to Miss R.)—But hang it all! There's only one Lord Mayor in London at all events !

. Miss R. —How do I know it's for London at all ?

Bystander—l should have thought you might have risked it! Miss R.—l can't help what you would have thought, sir ; I know my own business (To Germ. S. I've given you my answer.)

[Exit German servant resignedly, his idea of a Lord Mayor somewhat low ered ; Miss Redtape stamps letters with the serenity of conscious rectitude. Scene closes in.] "Punch."

THE AUCKLAND EVENING STAR, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28. 1887.

7



o^ In th<a 4> niQoniint on all Purchases of 6s. and upwards at the DIRECT! jajn UW JJ LHSOUUMI IMPORTING COMPANY'S CLEARANCE SALE.; In order to clear the balance of our Winter Stock, -we give a further discount of 3s. in the £, which, together with direct reduction of prices already made, will give the public an advantage of goods at HALF PRICE. 3s. m the £ returned for FOURTEEN DAYS only, Q | Q Canada Bill Id!ncrq OIIPPH 1 . ."#■■■ V^ I i. ■ >Sias^ ■ 1 S. | . I %^ Law § ■ MESSRS. E. PORTER & CO. have just unpacked their Season's Shipment of Cricket and Lawn Tennis Goods, all of which are of the latest and most approved patterns. Having been purchased direct from the manufacturers they can offer them at the very lowest prices. LAWN TENNIS LAWN TENNiS gwasa^acsg CRICKET j Wicket Keeping Bowling Green The "PREMIER L^W M XEKMIS I I CRICKET BALLS.' J ~ —" CRICKET BAGS. (^^^M ouated , All Steel and Nickel Plated. NETS 1 S i! "" jWI SCORING BOOKS. : ~ I 1 I CRICKET j>®u~i ■ n FOOTBALLS. The LAWN TENNIS ii I I STUMPb. I IB 11/) lIX fit '" «TTNrrwivTTON» poles. 1 I I ■ m it/// W?ws Boxing Gloves. "ENDYMION : I i I CRICKET NETS> | g BELTS. Wf/ |wfF - , <GALATEA> . 'J LaWnTe"niS I CRICKET BAGS. |! /T[ '. S[ The GALATEA " I I || QOLFBETa £JJ. - I 1 1 Ba{ting Gloves. »| D ... -. , DUMB BELLS. and N lawn tennis \l I I ?g Batting Gloves and Other Varieties * MARKERS. W| 'f LEG GUARDS. RACQUETS. Wicket-keeping Gloves. " QUOITS. E. PORTER AND CO., QIJEEN" AND HIGH BTEEETB, also, 3<rß"WTO3sr, nsrE'V5 rivr^^i?,is:ET s^"i^roisrr)s street.



If you should happen to meet a well dressed gentleman, you may depend upon it he patronises Woollams, the tailor, afc Sydenham House, Grey-street,—[Advt.]



Washington, D.C., April 3,1883. To the Hop Bitters Co. : Sirs:-I write this as a token of the great appreciation I have for your Bittern. I was afflicted with Inflammatory Bheumattsra seven years, and no medicine seemed to do mo any good until I tried three bottles of your H»>p Bitters, and to my surprise I am as well to-day as ever I was I hope you m*y have great ««©■ cess in this great and valuable niediolno. Any one wishing to know more about my euro oan learn by addressing mo. E. M. WILLIAMS. !.!<»• 16th Bt.



Furniture. FURNITURE For Imperative Salk. Owing to failing health, C. C. B E O W N, Cook and Hobson-streets, Will be com celled to Relinquish Business. Ho therefore begs to notify that he will HOLD A SALE OF HIS ENTIRE STOCK From MONDAY, SEPT. 19, TILL OCTOBER 3. Among other Goods— SUITES in Rep, Tapestry, Tapestry and Plush, Horsehair, Leather, etc. OCCASIONAL CHATRS in Variety of Covers and Stylos; SETTEES, etc. BIDEBOA.RDS in Mahogany DUCHESS TABLES in New Zealand Woods and Mahogany BEDSTEADS, TELESCOPE TABLES MATTING, CARPETS, RUGS, SQUARES TAPBSTKIES, PLUSHES, etc. TOILETWARE AUSTRIAN and AMERICAN CHAIRS Etc., Etc., Etc. Business Notices. J. BUTCHER.] [j. GROOM. TVT E HAVE FOR SALE:- Eod and Bar Iron, Wire Nails Fenoing Barb Wire, Roofing Iron Sash Weights, Buckets, Tubs Springs and Patent Axlea Coarse and Fine Salt 110 h.p. nominal Portable Engine, by Wallis and Steevens, with duplicate wearing parts Hoisting Engines, from 3 to 5 h.p., with reversing gear. GROOM, BUTCHER, & Co., FORT-STREET. _TEI,EPHONK 211.J T ESS THAN WHOLESALE PRICES. One Pound Packet of good China Tea, 6 Pounds good Fiji Bugar, and 1 Dozen Boxes Swedish Matches for 2s 6d at— EARLE AND MONTGOMERY'S, Karangaiiapk Road. ORN MANURE.-Freezing Co.'s. £8, of all merchants. A FEW GOOD ARTICLES FOR SALE J\. CHEAP. Best Coffee and Milk, la per tin. usual price, Is 3d; Best Table Salt, 6d per bottle, usual price, 9d ; Morton's Fruits, lid per bottle, usual price, Is2d; Bfst Preserved Ginger, 8d per lb, usual price, lOd; Large Bottle English Sauce, 7Jd, usual price, Is; Fry's Eating Chocolate, 4d per packet: Peaches, Plums. Quinoe3. Pears, lOd per tin. at EARLE AND MONTGOMERY'S, Karangqhape Road. URASS MANURE.—Freezing Co.'s. £7 XOs, of all merchants, X 6 Country Customers, »-* J, H, Dalton, Tailor, mves an Extra, Pair of Trousera or aterbury watch with each Suit



Business Notice?. T LAST A REAL CURE FOR KHEUMATISM ! RHEUMATISM ! Dr. PARKER'S "PULVIS RHEUMATICON," A purely vegetable compound for the immediate relief and speedy cure of Rheumatism, Sciatica, Neuralgia, Toothache, and all ncrvo and mus cular pains. Severe attacks cut short in a few hoiirs. It supersedes all outward applications. See circulars for voluntary testimony of remarkable cures. 3s 6d per bottle ; 3s lOd by post. Sole agent for Auckland : — S. GILBERT, CHEMIST, QUEEN-STREET. HOLROYD AND LONGBOTTOM, GENERAL WOOD TURNERS. Albert-street, Auckland, opposite V.M.C.A. Rooms. Bandsaw Cuttings, Carvings, Architraves, and Fretwork done at Lowest Kates. Table, Chair, and Sofa Legs, Fled Posts, Drawer Stumps, etc , always in stock. BILLIARD BALLS RK-TUKNJSD AND STAINED. A Trial ia itespectt'ully Solicited mo TOBACCO GROWERS. SEED. SEED. SEED. The undersigned has j ust received a parcel of new Tobocoo Seed from America, containing the following varieties: Kentucky, Broad Leaf Connecticut, Golden Leaf, and Dark Virginia (those descriptions having proved most suitable for tho various districts in this colony). Packets containing sufficient seed for one acre, of any of these varieties, may be obtained on application;' price, .» per packet. AUgTIN WALgH> July 23,1887. Tobacco Factory, Auckland. BY COMMUNICATING WITH US, the above VANS will be in attendance at TRAIN. SHIP, or wherever wanted, to receive FURNITURE or other Goods, which will be forwarded as instructed, or (if required) stored and insured for any term. ON SALE, Taupiiij Wesfcporb, and Newcastle Coal Firewood, Charcoal, Coke Bricks, Lime, Sand Pipes, Slates, Tanks Fencing of all kinds. W. AND G. WINSTONE, CUSTOMS-STREET. I"""!! S SMITH, CORSET & BANDAGE MAKER, Has always on hand a Good Supply of Stay Material. _/..£ STAYS MADE TO ANY PATTERN. RidinK Stays. Stays for Invalids, Bandages, and Sboulder Braces on the most approved principles. ~,_„ STAYS CLEANED AND REPAIRED. Has been fitter for 12 years in the leading establishment in Edinburprn. NEWTON, by New Epiphany Church. GARDEN MANURE. - Freezing Co.'s. In £s Od tins, of all merchants.



Insurance U" c w York Life INSURANCE COMPANY. Cash Assets, Ist January, 1887 .. £15,518,817 Income for 1886 £3,956,874 Local Director: C. C. McMillan, Esq. (Messrs W. McArthur & Co.) Solicitors: Messrs Russell & Campbell. Bankers: Bank of Australasia. Policies issued guaranteeing the return of all Premiums in addition to the sum insured if death occur within a twenty-year period. J. HUGO HARROP, Resident Agent. =vfE;Wr^EAI]AIILriMaRANCE COM- J3I PANY (FIRE AND MARINE). Capital ~.£1,000,000. Paid-up and Reservo Funds £435,000 Protection from FIRE or MARINE LOSS Can be Effected in this Company. CLAIMS MET WITH PROMPTITUDE AND LIBERALITY. JAMKS BUTTLE, Manager. Poultry. "PLYMOUTH ROCKS. "THE CHAMPION STRAIN." Unequalled as prize-takers in New Zealand. See advertisement in Brett's " Farmer." Mb GRESHA.M, Te Awamutu. Town Agenta-Messrs MORPETH 8R03., Wharf, Auckland. L V M 61J~T~H ROCKS. EGGS! EGGS! EGGS! Eggs from Pure-bred Prize Plymouth Rocks of the best strains. Thirteen Esgs ior 10s; cash with order. Agents for Devonport—Johnson & NOBLE, Grocers, Devonport. j. SINOLAIR> Lako Takapuna,jAuekland._ URE-BRED "DARK"BkTa~HMA'S, From Prize and Imported Strains. A few choice Young Hens for sale at 7s 6d each forwarded to Auckland Wharf or Fapa kura Railway Station on receipt of postal note, addressed to Mra TH OS. HYDE, Clevedon Po3t-oftlce, Wairoa South. T7IGGS tTATCHED, in any quantity, ab EPj 3s per dozen chicks.—Pelham and Roberta, Incubator Manufacturers, Albert-street. Hotels VITHARF HOTEL, QUEEN-STREET, JOHN LYNCH Desires to Inform his friends and. the publlo, that ho is proprietor of the above Hotel, Good accommodation for Travollorfl; firßt-<jlaw Lunohcou Boom, beet Brands o£ Wines and, Splrlti, Hanoook's Sparkling Alo aiways on draught.



T. & S. MORRIN & CO. (LIMITED). IMPORTANT TO SHIPOWNERS, CAPTAINS, SHIPBUILDERS AND OTHERS. STOCK IN THE ASSIGNED ESTATE OF D.BLMQKMM" T, & S. MORRIN & CO. (LIMITED) being the suc cessful tenderers for the whole of the first-class and well assorted Stock in the above Estate, at a great reduction on cost, have the pleasure to intimate that the same is now being removed to fcheir Shipchandlery Premises in Lower Queen Street, and they are m a position to supply their customers at LOWEST POSSIBLE PBXCEB. H, t % ANDERSON, Manftpp $Wpehandlery Department,