RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiel.]

Some -write, a neighbour's name to lash; Some write—vain thought!—for needrul cash; Some write to please the country clash, And raise a din. For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

" Better is the end of a thing than the be ginning thereof" is one of those ancient axioms that don't quite fit in with modern instances. Take, for example, bhe be ginning and bhe ending of bhe Stout- Vogel Ministry — "bhat mosb big-dee able coalition," as Mr J. A. Penned called ib—look bhe bhing squarely in bhe face, and you will be forced to admib bhab bhere was more of promise ab ibs origin bhan bhere is ab its extinction. Then, there were bright hopes of political rest, conjoined wibh rapid indusbrial and commercial pro gress, nob bo mention bhe anbicipabed con version of Sir Julius to the true Radical faith and the speedy introduction of land nationalisation, female suffrage, and many other enlightened laws. Now, all those glowing anticipations are dissipated ; no thing has been accomplished, and the poli tics of the colony are in a more involved condition than they ever were before. It is impossible to forecast the political de velopments of the next few weeks; but it may safely be prognosticated that there is nob in the situation any possibilities of such a promising coalition as bhab which has just been "busted" by the fiat of the electors. T)r".no3 is a mighty iconoclasb when he takes ib inbo his head, and on this occasion he has smashed bo smibhereens bhe two headed Ministerial idol " with fronb of brass and feeb of clay;" but already the electors are trembling ab bhe probable consequences of bheir own temerity as they look vtunly around in search of a new fetish to wor ship. All is darkness, doubt and per plexity, and the horrible suspicion is begin ning to dawn upon men's minds that they have made a huge misbake.

It would almost seem that some maligr nant sprite had influenced the elections, and I feel inclined with an Auckland clergyman to think bhab the " vox populi " on this occasion has been *'voxdiaboli." The roar all over the colony (bar Canter bury and Westland) was—"By all means geb rid of the Stout-Vogel Government, especially the Vogel part of it;" but by a cruel irony Sir Julius is returned by a triumphant majority, while Sir Robert is polibically "snuffed oub" by a youthful tyro, who won his spurs in the football field a few years ago. Mr Tole, perhaps the most' advanced Liberal in the Cabinet, has been defeated by a " new chum," and though Mr Ballance holds his. place, it is clear that the victory is with Vogel and Conservatism. The re sult of the election is distinctly re actionary. It may be said that the verdict of the people expresses their desire for steady - going as distin guished from "heroic" legislation — their protest against the reign of King "Fad," and their resolve to rest and be thankful. But I can scarcely think thab such was bhe deliberate intention of the " free and inde pendent." In their iconoclastic zeal they struck blindly, and destroyed the demo cratic section of the Government instead of the " squatocrabic." Ib is a terrible ex ample of bhe effecbs of mis-direcbed energy and unreasoning zeal. " Overturn—over turn — overbiirn" was 'the cry ; the country has turned a double somersault backwards, and instead of landing op its feet, has come down hard on the termina tion" of its spine, and is now sprawling in the dust, dolefully rubbing the' sore placej and swearing off from political gymnastics in the future !

What is the actual position of affairs? The Liberal section of the House—the Grey and Stout parties—are visibly "weakened ; the Hall-Atkinson lot are strengthened, while the Vogel phalanx is sbronger and more compacb than before. The loss of Sir Roberb Stout is irreparable, for though he had lately shown symptoms of being arrogant, overbearing, and generally speak ing '-'too big for his boots," he was a firm Radical, head and shoulders above his compeers, and after- Sir- George Grey, the only New Zealand statesman with a repu tation beyond the bounds of the colony. Had bhe Premier been in the jnew House of Representatives there were lively hopes that he and Major Atkinson would have formed a strong Coalition Cabinet, supported by Sir George Grey and Mr Orniohd, that would have commanded the confidence of all parts of the colony. But now the boob is on bhe obher leg, and bhe Major will have to reckon wibh the Colonial Treasurer and Sir John. Hall, wibh possibly Mr Scpbie McKenzie as. bhe Obago Minister, and Mr MitchelsonbrMr Peacock representing Auck land.' The result of such a concatenation will be the formation of a very powerful Conservative Government, and one more likely to deserve the name of "TheCop tinuous Ministry " than any that have gone before. "New blood" is not present; in sufficient quantity to effect a metamorphosis, and the young New Zealanders are not yet able to assume the r6le of political saviours of the colony. The electors have pot even taken the straight tip of the Old Colonial Hand and increased the number of Scotch men in the House ; so that all the country can do is to wait for the unrolling of the chapter of accidents, and " faintly trust the larger hope."

As usual, after a keen election contest), a number of good yarns are in circulation re garding the various candidates arid their supporters. One of the best c-_.es from an adjacent borough, famous fop its Mossy banks and the number of young jam tarts who swear "by George" that they can See more with their eye glasses than without them. Here the candidates represented two classes—the Industrial and the Jam Tart. The friends of the latter never dreamed but that their man would be returned. ' So sure were they that this would be the case that somo of his more ardent sup porters and personal friends resolved to bold a banquet in honour of his re turn at the head of the poll. Ac cordingly "mine host" of the Hotel nearest the central polling booth made preparations for a "real tiptop spread,"and the Mayor of an adjacent borough was invited to attend, in order to add eclat to the proceedings. Monday night arrived, and the party waited impatiently for the declaration. The first returns to hand showed a large majority for their man, and after giving a cheer the party adjourned to the banquet hall. Scarcely, however, had they got well under weigh with the viands, when the later returns were to hand. Rapidly they adjourned to the central boctb .to hear the result. Imagine their disgust when it "■ transpired that their man was defeated, and there fore their rejoicings were somewhat out of place. However, to make the best of a bad job, they completed their banquet, thpugb, as might be expected, it is said that the proceedings were not remarkable for hilarity, and all the carefully prepared congratulatory speeches were left un spoken, and it became really the funeral banquet of the political hopes of their am bitious friend. -. - , \ -'""'" ■ '*'■*' * ' * * * ' I

It was inevitable that in the final rush of the election excitement many ffgood tbmgfi.

übbered by candidates should pass unre corded; bub pne of these I musb try and rescue from the limbo of oblivion. It was at Mr Withy's lasb meeting in St. George's Pjall, and that gentleman while urging his claims bo bhe supporb of the elec tors was interrupted by an intoler ant Toleibe bawling oub — "You have no sbake in bhe counbry !" " Have I' nob?" reborbed Mr Withy ; "let me explain to you, my friend. When I came to the colony I brought my wife and ten children —making twelve of us who had resolved to adopt this place as our home. As if bhab were nob sufficient sbake, I may say bhab I have now eleven chil dren—having added bo bhe number with in the pasb week." This happy allusion "brought down the house," and there were shouts of " Make ib a dozen," and " Three cheers for Mrs Withy !" The Pro becbionisbs niake a greab cry bhab the adop tion of their principles will provide profib ableemploy nienb for our sons and daughters, bub ib is significanb bhab bwo mosb un compromising Free Traders, Mr Withy and Mr J. A-Conned, are fathers of large families. *-' Over-production "is one of the evil results of Free Trade, say certain economists; bub bho Psfdmisb showed bhe sublime faibh of a Free Trader when he said — referring to children — "Blessed is the man that hath his quiver^ lull of bhem !" Cerbes, ib seems to Mrs Z. and myself bhab bins particular branch of "local industry" requires no protection or encouragement in the shape of a £50 poll tax on Chinamen and obher " new chum " interlopers ! Hence, probably, the Free Trade victory in Newton ; but tho defeat of bhe Tactician in Eden District is thereby rendered very hard to understand.

There appears to have been wonderful animosity between individual members of the different committees engaged in tho interests of candidates during the recent elections. In some cases the committee men are so sore about their defeat that it is hard to say if there is such a bhing obtain able as balm for their wounded feelings. The " tactics" of each are openly canvassed, and some very grave charges have been mado. It is asserted that, singularly enough, men who had been working for one candidate almost up to the day of the poll, then deserted him and came oub strongly and openly iii favour of his op ponent. Generally there appears to exist an impression that the committee meetings were not so secret as mosb people imagined, and a suspicion is abroad bhab certain in dividuals, in their anxiety to hear how things were going, were occasionally to bo found in one room whilst their sympathies and interests were elsewhere. There are a great many obher interesting stories related in connection with the elections, but they are evidently wanting in authenticity and had bebber sband over.

The peculiar sang froid of the noble aboriginal was strikingly exemplified one day during the present week. It happened thus : A solicitor who has recently made a good fight in the Supreme Courb on behalf of some nabives was engaged in conversa tion with an acquaintance near the foot of Shorbland-sbreet, when a third person joined the group in the shape of a native female, a client of the solicitor. The legal luminary had just rolled a cigar ette, which he was holding between his fingers when the lady arrived. With great earnestness, she shook her lawyer's hand, and said " Tenakoe," after which she coolly removed the cigarette from its holder, and gently placing it within her lips, walked away quite happy, leaving the J.O.M. minus his smoke. With characteristic courtesy he looked after the lady and re marked, " That's right, my dear ; always help yourself."

A funny correspondent sends me the following medical hints, which I publish for general information. He writes : —The live human stomach that is not corned with whisky will digest easily and rapidly any substance that is pub into the mouth nearly dry and chewed up until ib is almosb liquid. Paper collars, dressed flax, woollen socks, rubber doormats, fire-bricks, sardine tins, and broken bottles, when treated in this manner will be assimilated as qtpck as baby's pap. In the case of the three latter viands it may be as Well to get the next man to do the masticating. A few of the doctors and all the billy-goats know this, but they keep it dark from purely selfish notions. Here is somebhing, bow ever, that the doctors don't know, and if they did .they wouldn't give it away. Raw whibe of an egg mixed With a glass ot cold water and drunk before breakfast on a few successive mornings will cure jaundice at any stage of the malady. After bhis, when you see a prescription in these terms : " Oy. alb. § *Jf £ II (?) ! —Aqua qu. suff. un. dv fam, 23 §d," or words to thab effect, you will knew what it means, and they're only 7d a dozen.

It Was a Cat.

Wife (to husband who has. just returned home)—"What'sthehews down town?" ■ Husband—" Nothing." " Of course not !'•* *' Why of course not ?" " Oh, well, there is never any news for a woman unless she finds it out for herself." After a long silence the husband breaks in with :' ' "It does seem tome that people ought to be more careful." ' " What about ?" " 1 was thinking of something that occrured down town last night. Major Buxter and his family sat out On the front steps until quite late, and when the major got up and went into his room he had not Noticed that his prankish little son had slipped away. * Just as the major stepped pi to his room he heard something under the bed—in fact saw somebhing—and thinking that a robber had secreted himself there, he seized a pistol and fired under the bed, apd—" 'VMerciful heavens, and shot his little son !" " Who said he shot his son ?" " You said his son went under the bed !" f. I didn't." U Whab did you say f, *' I said that the major did not notice his son when he slipped away from the front steps." " And wasn't the boy under the bed ?"

" No, a cat was under the bed." "You are the most hateful man I ever saw."

"Why so? Just because the boy did not go under the bed and get shot ? I had nothing to do with ib, I assure you."— " Arkansas Traveller."

President Cleveland as Executioner.

Of the various offices to which a citizen of a free country may be called, the lowest is probably the post of public executioner, and tho highest is, of course, that of a chief magistrate. To few men is it given to fill in succession both of these positions ; and, indeed, we doubt whether, until the present time, any civilised person has ever acted first to Jack Ketch, and afterwards head of the State. Mi' Grpyer Cleveland, Presi dent of the United States, has. however, Officiated as hangman. In America, as in Epgland, the sheriff is technically respon sible for the execution of criminals who have been condemned to death. Some years ago Mr Cleveland was sheriff of Buffalo. Two men, named Patrick Morrisgoy apd John Gaffney, were handed oyer for execution ; and, as no professional executioner could be epgaged, and no volun teer was forthcoming, Mr Dleyel#ad was obliged & do the dreadful w<?yk with bis pj-ro hands,

SPORTING.

RACING FIXTURES.

October 3 and l-Hawke's Bay Jockey Club's Octobei-^-PaktirangaHunt Club Races November 8 9, and 10.- Canterbury Jockey Nov lembfr P9 in a_d 12.-Auckla.nd Racing Club '? Octobefis-rneliunsra B.C. Spring Meeting November 26-Takapuna Spring Wee mg N ovember 30 and December 1.-Wellington B.C. Spring.

DATES OF PRINCIPAL AUSTRALIAN RACES.

Caulfle'd Guineas.-Oct. 8. Final payment, °CauffleM Cup—October 15. Final payment, ° Victorian Derby.-October 29. Final payment, °MeXounie Cup.-November 1. Fiual pay ment, October 23.

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Inquirer.-Uranus is a bay gelding got by Blair Atholfron, Volcano'si dam. Isaacfeby The Mute from Sweetbriar (dam of Cluiucellor and Minerva.)

TURF GOSSIP.

[By Hjppona.]

When we come to consider tho large string of horses the Hon. W. Robinson and Mr A. Drake have iv Australia, the entries for the Auckland Cup musb be con sidered mosb sabisfacbory. In numbers they bob up to 41, againsb 43 lasb year Nearly all of bhe besb horses bhab are in work throughoub bhe colony have been nominated and I am glad to see that the Southern owners haA'e entered as freely as ever. The Steeplechase nominations are not so good as usual, which is due to the present paucity of New Zealand cross coun try horses, but the Prince of Wales Stakes and City Handicap—the two leading flat races of the Spring Meeting—havo filled up well, there being 26 nominations for each. The weights for the Spring Meeting will be declared about the 12bh of October. The Spring Meeting of the Hawke's Bay Jockey Club takes place on Monday and Tuesday next. The principal events of the first day are the Guineas and Flying Handi cap, while the Spring Handicap comes up for decision on the second day. The fol lowing are bhe names of those engaged in the three events named ;— Hawke's Bay Guineas, 1 mile. Mr G. G. Stead's b c Maxim, by Musket- Realisation Mr Jas. Munn's br c Waterfall, by Musket —Cascade Mr P. F. Tancred's eh c Orator, by Premier —Gossip Mr Wm. Proffib's eh g Turihau, by Foul Play—Renga Mr John Chail'e's b f Bangle, by Musket— Lockeb Mr Geo. Ellis's br f Lady Florin, by Muskeb —Florin Colts carry Bst 101b ; fillies, Bst 51b. Flying Handicap, 6 furlongs.

Bangle and Turquoise were landed at Napier without a scratch, the sea being as calm as a mill pond the whole way down. Alick Sutherland left on Thursday to ride Bangle in the Guineas. From what I hear it is very improbable that Bangle and Tur quoise will fulfil their Christchurch engage ments, whether they are successful at Napier or otherwise.

The last day"s racing .of the A.J.C. Meeting saw the downfall of two greatly fancied Melbourne Cup candidates, Trident and Algerian. The heavy impost thab Algerian was no doubb awarded was prob ably the cause of his acting as runner-up to Dunlop in the Waverley Handicap, but we will have to await the arrival of the Aus tralian papers to find out the true reason of Trident being beaten in the Randwiek Plate. Ib is quite certain that there was something wrong wibh the Hon. J. White's champion, or he would never have received an easy two lengths beating in such slow time as the three miles was run in, viz., smin. 51_seG.' The Auebralian Peer has always been credited by the Randwiek touts as being something above the average, but the Way he went down in the A.J.C. Derby, and also in the Trial Stakes, won by Cranbrook, hardly prepared us to see him triumph over Trident at weight for age. The Australian Peer is described as a long, low^set, power ful horse, wibh good quarters. There is no better blood in bhe land bhan that which courses through his veins • he being by Darebin from Stockdove, by Maccaroni from Anonyma, by Stockwell from Miss Sarah, by Don John from Miss Sarah, by Gladiator from Easter, by Brutandorf from Wagtail, by Prime Minister.

On the strength of the good work Artillery has been exhibiting ab' Riccarton, he is in great favour among Christchurch backers for tbe New Zealand Cup, and may now be said to be the best favourite for the race, bping quoted at 10,0 to 12, while Lochiel and Sextant come next in the list of quotations ab 100 bo 10 each. Silence is practically knocked out, and Torrent has re ceded to 100 to 6. lii Chiisbchiirch a few days back a level £50 was wagered that either Sextant or IVlaxim win the Canter bury Derby. .

Torpri, the four-year-old daughter of Musket and Peeress, who started in. the Maiden Plate at Otahuhu on Saturday ,_ was greatly far-cied by her stable connections. She ran a perfect jade and failed to gain a place, The easy manner in which Friend ship annexed the Suburban Plate shows she still retains the form she exhibited at the back end pf last season.

The weights for the leading events of the Pakuranga Hunt Club Meeting were issued this week. I think that Reform has a bit the pull of his opponents in the Hunt Club Cup, and he should be near winning if he strips fit and well. In the Members^ Hur dles, Raie's 'pair, Orangeman .and Fisher man, have no cause of complaint, and the. besb of Wright's trio on the day should supply the winner of the Flying Stakes.

According to last week's Christchurch papers, there does pot spem to be much change in Nelson's condition. The "Can terbury Times "states that " one day he is a cripple and the next day walks sound ;" while the tout of the '■ Weekly Press," re cording the doings at Riccarton in the piornifigs, lias t}ie following anent Major George's crack :— <' Nelson accomplished three circuits of the tan, and when I saw him walking off the course some little time afterwards, though a slight lameness was undoubtedly noticeable, yet it did not ap pear to militate agalnsj} his working, and I may say that Cutts informed me bhab in his general health the old' horse could nob be better."

Mr R. Blaikie has disposed of Petroleum to Mr B. Cpylg, of Bulls, near Wanganui The son o.f Cadogan apd PeWblense is . o be used for stud purposes.

The A.J.C. Spring Meeting afber all did nob pass over wibhoub seeing Mr A. Drake s colours triumphant, for Teddy Yuille pulled off the Free Handicap for the well-known ■ New Zealand sportsman. Ever since 1 1 witnessed the son of Anteros run Lady Norah to a head in the last Great Northern St. Leger I have held a high opinion of him. Had he not changed his stride at the last moment, I think he would have been re turned the winner of that event, and he is a far better horse than a great number give him credit for. The death is announced from Otago of the stallion Hilarious. He was a son ot Goldsbrough and Maritana.and was brought to New Zealand by Mr H. Prince along with Sou-wester, Sylvanus and Sir Garnet. Hilarious won the Welcome Stakes at Christchurch in 1879, and the Publicans Handicap at bhe D. J.C. Aubumn Meeting in Sir Modred's Cup year, besides obber races. He was'by no means a bad one, and will be remembered by Aucklanders as having taken part in bhe A.R.C. Aubumn Meeting when a bwp-year-old. Hilarious's death was caused by his injuring his back in jumping a ditch. Owing to bhe success of Chester's stock, the Christchurch Middle Park Stud Com pany intend making a more extensive use of his full brother St. George this season. In connection with training operations at Riccarton, I learn bhab Fair Nell is moving in capibal sbyle, Torrenb is in disfavour with bhe bouts, and bhab Sextant has done every thing he has been asked,but his stable coiri panion Gipsy King has done nothing oub of bhe way recently, and does nob appear bo move quibe so freely as he did a monbh or bwo ago. Referring to the squabble between the Hon. W. Robinson and the jockey Derrett, " Sir Launcelot*" says he has received re liable information bhab, afber Derrebb had engaged boxes for bhe horses of bhe Canber bury sportsman at Flemington, hereburned to Sydney and rode one of Mr Drake's horses in a brial, ab which bhe owner of Silver Prince, &c, took umbrage, the result being that Derrett left his employ. An impudenb and deliberabe case of bickeb snatching took place ab bhe lasb Lancasber Park (Chrisbchurch) races. Ib appears that a genbleman took a tickebOn Magpie for bhe Consolation, and finding before bhe race started that he had lost the ticket, he informed the proprietors of the bobalisator thereof, and stated whom he suspected of having " filched " bhe bickeb. The parby suspecbed—a noborious chevalier d'industrie— burned up afber the race, and presented a winning ticket on Magpie, the dividend being £32 Bs. The proprietors of the totalisator declined to pay him, but he had a bit the best of the argument, being in possession of the ticket (though, as there were only four investors on Magpie, all of whom are well-known, it was obviously im possible for him to aver that he had obtained it direct from the machine), and the outcome of the matter was thab the gentleman who purchased the ticket originally agreed to compromise tbe matter by the chevalier aforesaid receiving the £32 8s dividend and undertaking to give him £10. Result:—The gentleman who lives on his Avits collared the £32 Bs, bub declined bo " turn up" the £10. At the sale of Mr Donald Fraser's horses at Palmerston North, there was a good attendance, but the prices realised were poor. The most nobablp sales eflecbed were : —Rifle, bhree years, by Armourer — Dis cretion, Mr F. Martin, of Wellington, £52 ; Spray, by Hippocampus — Foam, Mr Henry, of Palmerston, £31: Peter-Flat mare, Bayledf (dam of Laurel, Redeemer, and The Clown), Mr C. Fits-herbert, £21; Towton maro, Candour, with foal at foob by Premier, MrHannebt, £1610s; Abwo-year old colb by Nababbr—Candour, was pur chased by Mr J. McDonald fqr £21; Laurel (in training) and Speculation, late HippO damia, were bbth passed in. Writes our London correspondent.:—The Prince of Wales's Stakes of £20,000 for three-year-olds, to be run ab Leicesber in 1889, and bhe Portland Sbakes of £10,000, for bwo-year-olds, to be run at the same meeting next summer, have both secured mammoth entries, and promise to be great successes. In the face of bhese novelties and bhe big £10,000 sbakes ab Manchesber, Kempbon, Sandown, andNewmarkeb.ib was hoped the Epsom executive would see bhe force of bolsbering up bhe Derby. They de cline, however, and I firmly believe wibh John Pprber and bhe " Sporting Times " bhab in a cquple of years bhe glory of bhe greatest classic contests will have finally departed. The entries for 1889 (just closed) are wretched. By-the-way,Ormonde's next race will be the £10,000 Lancashire Plate at Manchester next summer, for which he is to be specially reserved and prepared. The following are the nominations for tbe V.R.C. Sires' Produce Stakes of JB9l :- Gang Forward, Neokersgat, Darriwell, Fryingpan, Liberator, Goldsbrough, Malua, Newminster, Caima, St, Albans, Robinson Crusoe, First King, Savanaka, Progress, Guesswork, Richmond, Sheet Anchor, William Tell, The Pencil, Cheviot, Sar donyx, Monmoubh, Grand Flaneur, Epi gram, Chesber,, and Marbihi-Henry.

A writer of personal reminiscences of Tom Hales, tho Archer of Australia, in the " Sydney Mail," after referring to the early history of the successful jockey, says:— " Hales is one of our steadiest horsemen in his private life, one that the younger horse men of the present day, aspirants to fame in the pigskin, could not do better than copy. They see in him a self-made man, whose brilliant horsemanship and unques tioned integrity have given him the con fidence and ;;.Au<.'em of every horse-owner in Australia, and of the publio at large. The public to a man are sure when they see Hales 'up' that there will be no funny business. Hales has been race-riding now for something like twenty-seven years.' Melbourne "Punch" followed up the recent fatal accident to the steeplechase rider, J. Williams, with a cartoon showing eight skeletpn^ jockeys perched on the top of a post-and-rail fence,'underneath which were the line's : — " Caulfield Steeplechasers: A visiop of Akeldama-^- The Field of Blood." Probate to the will of the late Mr Thomas Chirpside shows that his real estate is valued at £90,000 and the personal property at £60,000; total, £150,000. Mr Chirnside never married, and consequently he left all. he possessed to his brother Andrew. The late Mr Thomak Chirnside was one of the fathers of the turf in Australia. Mr W, Crombie, of Byron-street, Glenelg, states that a pony of his piade an extraordi nary jimp recently. The pony was locked in asbable, and a window was opened for the purpose of .ventilation. The sill of this window is 4ft. 9in. from the gronnd, and the dimensions of the opening are 2ft. Sin. high by Ift. 9_in. wide. When Mr Crombie entered the stable as usual one morning he was surprised to find that the pony was not there. On examination he found bhe marks of the pony's feet where he had landed outside the window, apd op bhe sill of bhe window were a few hairs bliab had been scraped off iii the pony's passage through. The, apimal has not suffered beyond being slightly scratched op the hind legs.

ATHLETIC NOTES.

(By Action.)

PI XTURES.

AQUATICS

November 26.— Scnlling championship of the world, Beach v. Hanhin, on the Nepean Biver. November 29.—Intercolonial eight-oared race at

Adelaide. ... _ ._ ~„ January, 1888.—World's sculling and double sculling races on the Paramatta.

FOOTBALL.

The season has now closed and the curtain been rung down on football for 1887. Look ing back over it, and comparing it with previous seasons, Auckland can rest quite satisfied with how things haye gone. To wards the finish of the season we were favoured with visits from three provincial representative fifteens, viz., from Taranaki, Canberbury, and Otago, and though we were defeated in the first match, in. the other two we proved that Auckland bad improved considerably in the last few years, and that we might very, well lay claim to being the premier province of the colony. Canterbury, we succeeded in tieing with, but how this was done is now a matter of hiabory, so I will not touch upon it, nor upon the Otago match, wherein our « reps "covered them selves with glory. In respect to the Tara naki match we have no reasoii to hang our heads, but by it we were baught a very useful lesson as regards bhe picking of our representatives, and a lesson we were nob slow in taking to heart. In these matches there is nobhing perhaps more worthy of remark bhan bhe infusion of new blood inbo the Auokland ranks. ' Whiteside repre sented the back players of the old day, but Tom Ryan, and J. W. Warbrick were gone, and there is not the slightest doubt that the players who filled their places in the last two matches did it -with credit to themselves and to their province. The club matches saw Ponsonby and Grafton again striving which was to win the coveted premiership, and after a hard and well-foughfc abruggle the blue and blacks reversed the result of the 1886 contest, and game out the winners of bhe Union Challenge Cup for 1887. The Ponsonby were stronger all round than, perhaps, they have ever been, and this is to be attributed mainly bo bhe new and young blood bhey intro duced into their ranks. As might be ex pected, Whiteside again proved the main stay of the Club, but both the backs and forwards showed themselves meet com panions for him oh the football field. Grafton sbarbed bhe season wibh a very weak beam, bub a couple of sofb matches and a bye gave tbem breabhing time, during which they gob bogebher a team quite as strong, if not rtrohger, than any they ever placed in the field. Several old players were missed from their ranks, butthejuniorswhofilledtheirplaces.ablyup heldbhehonour of the maroon banner. North Shore started off splendidly, and looked as if they held a mortgage on the Cup very early in the seasbh, but they were doomed to disappointment, and, though they beat bhe winners of the Cup in their firsb mabch, could nob keep bhe record up, and had bo content bhemselves with third place. The Gordons have always been going bo win the Cup, but though each season they have had a big say in who was bo win ib, during bhe bhree yefirs of bheir existence they have not been able to do so themselves. They proved themselves bo be bhis season a good all-round beam, bub the old fault still clings to bheir—they cannot play an uphill game. The Albert and the old Auckland Club— particularly bhe lattery-deserve a word of praise and congrabulation for the plucky way in which they met their engagSmenbs each Saburday" in "spite of bhe superior calibre of bhe clubs often pitted against them and the desertion of their own men. I can only wish them better luck next time.' Compared with the season before, it was pleasant bo note the absence of all bitterness between the clubs in the Cup matphes, and the healthier tone that, pervaded the Union. I have' not very much to say about the second fifbeens. As I re marked before, they are not up to the standard of the previous season, but they have been more evenly matched, and of bhe seven clubs bhab contested bhe Junior Cup, I think all conversant with their play will agree wjth me when I siy that the fees'; team won, though they were now and thon blessed with a piece of luck. One of bhe features of bhe season thab has Closed, has been bhe rise of bhe Association game here. It has taken a very firm hold, but has nob been able to attract man*y Rugby players to its ranks, though a good number played it on off Saturdays. Wibh oub wishing to deti-act from its merits, for I desire for it every success, 1 am firmly convinced thab :it will never supplant the Rugby game here, however much its supporters' may think otherwise. When a' young player has become any good at the Associ tion he will alwiays want to shine on the field of the more popular game, and so it will act as a feeder for the Rugby game, while Rugby will perform the same office for it by relegating all its ■*< dead heads " to the Association ranks.'

I would suggest to the Committee of the Rugby Union here that they should make some arrangements by which .Auckland can be represented in the English Rugby Union. We have virtually agreed to every made l*}y the English Union, and surely there is some old Aucklahder in England who would hot mind representing our Union at Home!

CRICKET.

-yValtemata C.C. Statistics.—Season '86-7. Matches- played, 8; .won, 7; lost, 1. Total runs scored, 816 for 88 wickets $ op ponents, 658 for 94 wickets'.

Patting A_vEjS4qß_.

Mr A- M. QUiyar, the well-known cricketer of Christehurch, has been elected a life member of the Melbourne Cricket. Club in acknowledgment of the services rendered by him to the M-C.C. Australian Eleven -during their tour in New Zealand last season.

Bob Whiteside, the well-known foot baller, has jqin§d the SoUajjd. O.Q, Re membering the time when be was captain of the Our' Boys and the way he could smite then, the long fellow will prove a valuable acquisition to the Holland, and If he prac tises sufficiently, should §oon attain a very high rank bere. We want a few cricketers who can hit a trifle, and are not .afraid to (jo so. - The _ Sportsman " |»ys that, there ig a great probability of an American team of cricketers, both amatfe»E and professional, leaying America early teCsgember for _%m

traJia and playing a series of matches there. A. M. Wood, the, noted player of the Bel mont Club of Philadelphia, is in corres pondence with the Secretary of the Mel bourne Cl,ub, and he has but little doubt that proper arrangements, will be made for bheir visit. The professionals will be liane (of I Philadelphia), Tyers (of Manhattan), Bur rows (of St. George), Bromhead (of Ger manbown), and possibly B.ubler (of Staten Island). The amateurs cannot be decided on until such cracks like the Newhall brothers, the Scott brothers, Ralston, Stover, Patterson, and Shayer have said whether they can leave their business or not.

ATHLETICS ETC.

The Peninsula aniateur was. not success ful in his attempt bo lower the six hours amateur walking record the week before last. The record stands, at a little-over 30 miles, but the walker, Mr I. Piper, was only able bo do the 30 gules. After publicly challenging Murphy to meet him, and hinting that the light-weight was nob all square and above board, Dono van backed out of a match that was arranged between the two last Friday. It was to. hiave. been private and with hard gloves, but Donovan thought better of it and ia going away. A most exciting four miles race was decided at Wednesbury (England) on July 30 between N. Cox, of Bristol, and W. Snook, of Shrewsbury. The stakes were £25 a side. The match was won by Cox, who passed the post a yard and a half in front of hia opponent in the fast time of 20min. 40sec. This is the same Snook who was W. 6. peorge's great rival when an amateur. He has only recently joined the prcfessional ranks. On July 23rd, at Dublin, Sweeney ran a quarter of a mile in 50 4^sth sec, an Irish record, and a great performance od a'grass track. On the same day T. Conneff won the Four Milea Amateur. Champion ship by sQyds in 20min 55 4-sth sec, which did away wibh the old Irish, record, stand ing at 21min 12sec. At the Melbourne Grounds, Coventry, re cently, H. Hubchens (champion of bhe. world) and Mr Jenkins, of Leicester, met to decide a match of £25 a-side, distance 120 yards, the latter receiving 9 yards start. A fair number of spectators were present, and bhe betting ruled at 5 to 4 on Hutchens. A good Start waa effected ; Jenkins main tained the lead until 100 yards had been covered, when the. champion, who ran in his best form, was seen to gain consider ably on his opponent, and after a good race for supremacy, Hutchen? gained the ver dict by half a yard in the splendid time of 11| sec The weather was beautifully fine and the track in good condition. On July 16, atthe East of Scotland races, George Duncan, the New Zealander, finished second in the final heat of the one mile bicycle handicap, and won the three miles handicap in lOmin 4sec.

Startling Occurrence at a Wedding Party.

A wedding party which was revelling in a restaurant at St. Mande (th& Paris corres pondent of the " Daily Telegraph" says) had. a terrible fright. The bride and bridegroom, tradespeople of the, neighbourhood, were, after a good dinne,r, waltzing and polking ■ with their relatives and friends. Midnight was fast approaching, and the fun, as is usual at this sort of enter^nment, was of a most lively, not to say boisterous, kind, suddenly a flower-girl made her ap pearance on" the scene and offered bouquets for sale. The ladies and gentlemenof the company, taken with her winning ways, eagerly bought up her nosegays, and at las'i the girl walked up to the happy couple to present them, as everyone injagined, with the prettiest" bouquet of • th§ -tot A- What was the consternation of the bystanders when the young woman,'' by ra rapid movement, drew a phial from her basket and threw its contents into thefaees of the newly-married pair. The roftrs of laughter gave placet to' shrill screams. The bridemaids fainted, and their at tendant swains, with horror and dismay depicted 'on their countenances, strove, to bring them round. The bride, and bride groom, surrounded by theiir parents and the elders of the party, fancied that their last hour had come, and, believing that they were irretrievably disfigured^ opened and shut their eyes to find out if they had been bereft of sight. A few of the hangers-on, rushing up to the flower-girl, whe had con: verted all their enjoyment and festivity into anguish and mourning, held her fast pending the arrival of the police. In a few moments the bride's father, coming up, took the girl into a corner, and learned from her hps that she had been for three years the mistress of his new "son-in-law, that their intimacy had been productive of the usual result, and, in short, that she had been basely deserted by her lover. Such was her story. In the ineantine a doctor who had been hastily summoned pronounced i that the "vitriol^- was the most innocent of liquids. The flower-girl, 'surprised and much put out, declared that she had bpught it at a chemist's shop hard by. A police man was immediately despatched to the shop in question, but soon ascertained that the woman had merely been supplied with tinted water, as her manner was so strange that it had aroused suspicion.

Medieval Materia Medica.

A ring made of the hinge of a coffin, was credited with the power of relieving cramps, which also received solace when 3 rusty old sword w-fts hung up by the patient's bedr side. Nails driven into an oak tree, were not a cure but a preventative against tooth ache. A halter which had served to hang a criminal withal when bound found th' 6 temples was found ail infallible, remedy for headache. A dead man's hand could dispel tuniours of the glands by stroking the parts nine times, Dub the hiarid oFf. man who had been out down from the gallows fcree was, we need nob say, a remedy in finitely more efficacious. Some of these remedies still exist among the superstitious poor of . the provinces, although the formula, of course, is not now strictly ad hered to, the game being emphatically "hardly worth the candle,"' To cure warte, for instance, the best thing was to steal a piece of beef from the butcher, with which the warts were to be rubbed, after which it was to be interred, and as the process of decomposition went Oh the warts would wither and disappear. The chips of a gallows on which several persona had been hanged, when worn in a bag round the neck, was pro nounced an infallible Cure for the ague. The nightmare, supposed, of course, to be caused by supernatural agency, was banished by means of a stone with a hole in it being suspended ab the head of the suffere/s bed. This last remedy went by the name of a ** hag-stone," because it pre-: vepted the wibches, who, of course, wrought the mischief, from sitting oh the patients stomach. Ibs effect upon these mischievous old crones was singularly 'deterrent The poof old creatures, who could npt have sab a horse bhe moment he began ; to walk, were credited with riding these animals over the moorland at headlong speed m the de^. ot night, when better disposed and less fr»-*y people were wrapped in slumber. A hag stone " bied to the key of the sbable doqrab once put a stop to these heathenish yagari§?. '

Easily Proven.—lt is eassiiy Eleven tbab malarial fevers, constipation, J»|P|M liver and kidney!., general debility, nervous ness, arid neuralgic ailni<snt3 yield readily to this great (Hsease-conquerOr, American Com pany's Hop Bitters. It repairs .the ravages_or disease by converting the food mto. V\W blood, arid It giveß hew life and vigour to the a^ett ana alwaysinfirm Be*. '''""

THE GARDEN.

TO CORREap Owa _ I in a bed Thesoo_mS?_?on^ffffi I During the au____^&*^«iß&i I quently watered" 1 CroSjSSW-sft I to keep the bed fi»irS 4>l£ 1 the plants ha.™ a? 1. w«ds. _£? I inches apart. From ftiTTl^to■-*&£* I 1 varieties^ can easi^™*-«« _R »__*«; I tended to. Your sni? ? p -<™J.fi i* Tuberous-rootM begonia^ ?ws^^ P allowed to start ifatS T^f.-N*.B 1 Bhowslgnsof life |ey "„ bSW»-1 shovUd also suif them. - ■ • ' ■*%«« Cucumbers and Melonr mn n* i . is rather early feSStfel^K Theymigkti: ecelve »imSS_f?.« weather set in. Keen n mil /^^M Place a hand iigh oto £ffi?ffi.» comes established. liydd-S'^ 1^ size of acandle b.x _Xfifcd__3SS if a sheet of gass. is ■M"!*! mght (2 ft Is tooWtoSu! f *P now. • The sap is acting; ffi iffis,.-* ationa the bud. areX beSJ^ffi and whe.re.such is the case MM for another season. ■I!* B?« H Vegetable Grow/too. CUmateurl t„» vegetables wellyou _mHWS3S_F_ winch for almost every1 _tof_aSm ply of succulent manure has .{S_& Vegetablesrecjuire rapid, ___iS_M» togrowtheminperteotiok: T_»2_lS. be to have your soil deep affrlaS plantingorsowing. AfterWet^-tIH or sown give plenty of WwmWS as to keep the surfeo, open, pfif* STKIKTNa Cuttisus, So. (" NaytoVm WW ever you see that your cuttingg ate'aS' new leaves or that the buds aFeblrS swell, it is a sure sign .__t-~_SSf_< commenced-; when the leaves wiffiS Nf strength to perform the naiWfaiE. throwing them off. (2| There1 are WS plants that will not suffer If _m_m changed fjom a hot tea cold tetataS The change should be brought afeuTS ally. The foliage in hot temperatiafS generally tender and sof* and toiiSM the plants, to cold temperature aho#S3 duced daily so that the foliage raas Mm* by degrees.- ' ' - J Pbot?cting, Seeds fro# Birds (A Safferau Before sowing your seed place it iii a sSnMt: slightly moisten with water; thed _tism a teaspoonful of dry powdered red-fejjw stir the'whole thoroughly untiltha'iMk well coated with the lead,. be,\ it s^ad Mil quite dry before sowing itKlald on tij the right amount of moisture and W„ & it will adhere to the outer covering of tlieiej even when it appears above the ground.! % birds will never touch seed treatW ii lis above manner. The'dressing, to be .ffeM mvst be done thoroughly. - Replanting Large Fruit TRBESjSulißiailwi —It is rather too late in the. season _%m( treesnow, seeing that the tree is wthftja pt tree had been lifted and heeled in for a modth or so you could have moved it, bu! to | [roots and lift now. would, I thine, beiaela You had better let it stand till next sews,

Kitchen Garden.

; The weather for the. last fortnight has betal ■ good for sowing and planting out tit M i different main crop? of Y§jgssler W Continue making fornightly sotrings of if mustard cress and radishes i for sapij.:H Where soil has nob been heavily mnroi H for the early crops, give a good duat^i ■ fine bones, or Peruvian guano. AfterJtra n stir up the surface soil with the hoe, Tin 11 first rain will take a portion .of the rpus H to where the advancing rootlets will at M it, thus giving a much better charm «i |J good crop. Strawberry breaks sheiiw X receive the usual spring attention. good dose of ' bones and tow between the rows, and gently f«fj B snffape soil, taking carfe not tosT?f§ with the roots: of the plantjj, tjie str-twmil being very sensitive ta apy injury at* roots, especially in the spring-.. Cow» successional sowings of Preodh mum beans. ' Want out cabbage, add caiUilW Earth up the earlier planted crapJJ present crop is .cat -Ctefc'^'W** to the rot heap, as such furnishes *IM, and breeding place for dm W»j Prick out a few more, sow &MttewW seed, tie up advanced crops for omm Begin to prepare'places fr P-ffif put cucumbers, melons, «Hna » tomatoes. Dig a Hole fen . «* plant? is to be placed.. Inf^M mix about a barrow-load of fcjjg manure with the soil, making* mm These hills are better left to sweeto J» W eek or so before the plants iwjrtjj Peas: Make a fresh sowing abjMj ten days ; earth up the early WWISJ ing it, and stake tte td-powjj* Thin out all M^ 4 -f»RS! of room for each plant to if ** Potatoes: On dry nght ? oils the JJg should be planted now. On ™Mpg sods defer planting tor a few ff^JJ early-planted varieties earth up»m «" ready Thin out and triwspW «f$- Lvn%nionsrthetranspl^ ,JJ* make equally as good bulbs wjJPJ. ones. Slugs are now very Wjfljj: every care s_ould be takenof «jgft through the ground. Y^f^oß Afber dark is the best time, so P ~ them while they are feeding. Flower Garden. Continue PJ#f}t e %Sl bedding plants, placing the ««*«•*, I ones S gthC baS of thelorder«£** sooner all better, as. they wdl §^ J^Tl* before6e hot siwiP^^Ui hardyaunuals.. A veryKOodp^F M with the sowing of fa» * W «. barrow-load of P c» 0 3fc * a small circle in %fSitti|o|ft seed is to be sown, Tg e£j e W sifted sofi, place, it m the ctfcje, the seedsVcover ?-«f*SJSSB soil. The abov« - will gx^iy seeds to g^f tea,riKpenetratets original soil A. to* ?V atp o nen,. if; ma | now be sown out roepce to harden offthow «>^SobM Siplue bulbs put out at once »?^'f?^ffir pl»* the inferior ! LiHums^tc, ought ahto "/JEti '-9m- iood stronggrowthhas new fe Bulbs and tubersnow ift oroPmoW le jj at once,, The eariyJ» . }„_!, g« •» showing proaches the tlower uvi* £ piug^ ■ withhme Bpasto^^^l harbours from ente ring.. Jected. should en of d jj^ receive a good .d^ lf p i s t a t3^,*S as to bring it -S^^VJS next autumn. KMp? aa properly handled It WWg.^r fer&ity of the garden. Continue re-pPtg^St«' as they may requn*^ p f into £ cinerarias, J-n^SfoV^ keep near the gl-ws •J £ uir£i . j gg* for flowering, fc little liq«W «*uf \' tiWf%W> J well after the green J^rt&jgPj, some other insectgS^ appearance. * G yept^Sjji ! pinching and W.& e |^poi. * *" V Lmaylereqmred-^%^, theday.^^J^^bebott* E syringe when cloBH>B. vi,VB I

THE AUCKLAND EVENING STAE, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1887.

2



st lb st lb

Pearl 9 2 Lady Florin 7 10 Tho Shah ... 8 13 Orwell ... 7 4 Forester ... 8 12 Psycho ... 7 2 Turquoise ... 8 6 Turihau (Foul Maxim ... 8 2 Play-Renga 6 10 Rivulet ... 7 12 Whisper ... 6 8 Bangle ... 7 11 Pouawa (Foul Salisbury ... 7 10 Play-Aconite) 6 5

Sfrixu Handicap, 1_ miles.

sb lb sb lb

Pearl 8 10 Maxim ... 7 13 The Shah ... 8 8 Rivuleb ... 7 7 Turquoise ... 8 3 Salisbury 7 5 Administrator 8. 2 Lady Florin 7 5 Laurel ... 8 2 Orwell ... 6 10 Strenuous ... 8 1



4 ._<>?. g to . © i of j §g if & pq - ■•*. • $ r\ ' < Stichburr .. .. -9 130 1 4Q 16*25 Leatham .. .. 4 65 0 27 16*25 Service .. ., 10 155 0 68 15*5 Marcroft .. .. 5 63 1 W 15.75 Sheddon .. .. 5 35 2 18 11*6 Pritchard, .. .. 9 72 1 41* 9* Mackie ... „ 8 43 0. 20 5*375 Stillwela .. .. 8 33 2 13 5*5 Ross .. .. .. 8 42 Q 17 5*25 Potter .. .. 8 32 I 17 4.571 Deaii 8 34 0 13 1*25 Stewart „ .. 4 12 1 '7 3- Tattersall .. .. 5 8 0 3 1.6 Archibald - - S 1 P 4 1.75 not out.

Bowling Analysis;. Bowler, Runs, Wickets. Average, Mackie .. .. 191 49 4*775 Pritchard il ..203 39 5*3 Marcroft .. .. 74 a 9'25 Stewart .. .. 32 3 10*6 Stiohbuvy .. _ £3 \ 23?



The demand for the great American remedy, Hon Bitters, in this part of. the world has become so great lhat' the Hop Bitters Com pany, whose headquarters are at Rochester, New York, U.S A., have been compelled to open a laboratory in M- elbourne. It is in charge of Mr M. H. Van Ber-di, a gentleman of several years' experience with this Company and the trade way bo assured ot receiving goods equal to the parent house, and the most courteous treatment The Hop Bitters Com pany have ' establishments at LqnqprL Paris, 4iitwerp, Belgium, Breda, Holland, and Toronto, and their American Bitters are pro. babfy the bejjt known medicine »the worlft.