RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiel.l

flome write, a neighbours nnmo to lash, Bonio write— vain thought!—for needful c-ush, Homo writo to please the country clash, And raiso a din. For ma, an aim I never fash— I writo (or fun.

Believing that a nation's songs aro to be proforred to its history any day, " Zamiol" has set his face against reading all tho news about tho despatch and tho offers of volun teers for tho Soudan by tho Australasian colonies, anci has been turning his attention to the poetical literature evoked by the situation. This is neither insignificant nor

uninteresting, but on tho contrary fully and faithfully reflects tho sontiuients of the people. Iseiv Zealand has not offered troops, and, appropriately enough, thero is no poetry published in this colony which portrays the bubbling ovor of patriotic feel ing ; for tho beautiful song "Gordon of Khartoum," published in Auckland, in strictly of the character of a dirgo for the departed. In New South Wales, however, whore a porfervid patriotism has been evinced, since her spontaneous offer of troops was accopted by the Imperial Govornmont, tho poets havo all found a voico to laud tho bravo horooa who havo resolved on going to tho Soudan to conquer or dio. Recoiit Sydney papers havo boen full of these effusions.and as I writo I have seven of them boforo mo. Ono of them 13 by Beaumont Road, and has tho following swinging chorus:—

"Then shoulder to shoulder nmrch onward— The honour nf our land ia «t stake; In loyalty this day, for tho homo so far away, Auatral:a strikes s blow for the old land'asake.

That ia rat?\er neat, only a critic of the Trollopo type might bo inclined to Bay thero was too much " blow " about it, not to say " bunkum," ns neither tho old land nor its honour was in tho slightest danger. The same vein of false sontimeut is perceptible in an othorwiso vory meritorious poem by Houry A. Oobb, tho first vorao of which runs thus:—

•' Tis a voice across the main— 'Gordon is by treachery slain; England will his death requite. Who will join us in the flßhti' And from wo3t, north, and south, ro3e the answer on high— 'Iteady for England to fight and to dJe 1'"

Another effusion has a decidedly fantastic turn in the half-astronomical aspect in whioh the expedition is viewed as "The Southern Crosa crossing the Line." The author of this patriotic song declares—

" Not ono of ng breathos but ia ready to go when the Southern Cross crosses the kino,

I beg decidodly to differ from this state ment ; I draw the lino somewhere, and it is drawn at going to tho Soudan, even as one of Mr Raid's missionaries. Besides, it makes me rather cross whon I suspect there is an attempt at a crossbred pun in tho con junction of "Cross" and ''crosses"in tho last-quoted "line."

Another patriotic poet gives " Australia's Godspeed" to the doparting expedition, bids the members of it " face the fiery Arab spear," and proceoda :—-

" And, oh, Australians! in the shock Of battle, when tho surging 100 Rolls like a torrent on a rock.

Stand Uko tho rocfe, and bide tho blow!" " Blow " again, you see ! I feel almost in clined to exclaim, "Well, I'm blowed!" but that is vulgar and ungrammatical, and besides smacks of punning, which I never, never—or at least, hardly ever—drop into. The poet foresees that the Australians may never have a chance to "bide the blow," and tries to consoto them for a dreary round of garrison duty by saying :—

"They also serve who stand and wait, And should thy duty be perchance But mounting guard, ti3 just as great To guard as inaruh in war's advance

A bit of rattling doggerel by a schoolmaster bids the " nations beware, for old England is there, and Australia's close by her side," with a good deal more of similar self-lauda tory stuff. Quite in the grandiloquent style, with a drop into bathos at the close, is the following verse from an address to tho volunteers by E. Baly :—

"To arms—to arms—tho drums aro beating, I hear the trumpet sound, This last fond cherished hour ia fleeting, Tho war-horso paws tho ground j Now rank and Me prepare to march

(Against the Arabs—oh, no ; it is only) Beneath you raised triumphal arch !"

Which I daresay will suit tho " brave war riors " fully as well. Even the school children are to be infected with the mock martial spirit, for a song has been specially composed for them to the tune of "The March of the Men of Harlech," which has a certain, appropriateness for New South Walcss, The chorus runs thus :—

" Pennona Ray aro streaming. Swords aro brightly gleaming, Whero tho voico of honour oalls them, Ne'or of dangor dreaming; On where glory points tho way. To avenge the death of gallant Gordon, Thoro must bo our country's heroes Foremost in tho y!"

Now, all this seems to me very deplorable. It quite out-Jingoeg the Jingoes of the old country, and almost convinces one that a patriotism which cannot be satisfied with a less demonstrative expression is not genuine. As I remarked, however, these songs faithfully reflect the minds of the people of New South Wales, and if their tones are false and their sentiments spuri ous, it is because the tone and sentiment of the people partake of the same qualities.

There is one Sydney poet who has not lost bis head over the Soudan craze, and that is the talented gentleman who does the poetical puffs for the tailors who adver tise. He writes with an ease and abandon which show that his soul is in the work, and his effusion has a more genuine ring about it than any of those from which I quoted. With his noble sentiments thus expressed, I leave the subject:—

The Australian banner of freedom and conquest By our chosen five hundred has now been un- And its many-hued folds are like Summerfleld's Tho onvy.'the glory, the pride of the world. 'Tis pleasant and proper, an old Roman tolls us, For one's own native.: country in battlo to But oh! 'liH much best tq abstain from all flght inc, And publish the virtues of Summerflcld's tweed.

The storm of Saturday last recalls to mind tho remarkable prophecy given forth nearly three years ago by that Canadian professor bearing tho euphonious name of Wiggins. Tho theory of this eccentric in dividual wus that all our great storms had their origin in the inter-planetary spaces, and from a study of the relative positions of our earth and the other members of the solar system, he arrived at the conclusion that a disastrous hurricane would take placo about the middle of March, 1883. He published far and wide his prediction of tho dire catastropho, which was to swoep all the shipping from tho face of the sea, and do groat damage on the shores of California and Australia ; but though a fow superstitious old sea captains took alarm, the world in general paid little attention to the warning. Tho event showed that Wiggins was all astray, as there was no particular "blow"at the time predicted. If however, ho had fixed his date two years later, so as to coincide with fast Saturday's storm, old Wiggins might have established a pretty respectable reputation as a weathor prophet. His chance is gone now, and after the severe "wigging" he doubtless received, the professor has sub sided into his antecedent obscurity. From tnat fitting condition may he never more emerge to alarm silly people with fearful portents!

It required no gift of prophecy to enable any one to foretell that my remarks" on "Prophecy and tho Eastern Question" would evoke a'retort from some one jealous for the truth. "A Christadelphian " has rushed into the breach with a defence of the theories of Mr Roberts. I will allow him to speak, though he calls me names. He Random indeed were the shots fired on Saturday at the pamphlet called ' Prophecy and the Eastern Question.' 'Zamiel' fired with his eye 3 shut, and yot, with the self-satisfied complacency of a newsmonger, imagines he has struck the mark ; but, on lookers, »ho see most of the game, can ouly pity him for his blind stupidity. That the pamphlet in qaestion is correct in its interpretations of prophecy, iB from time to time beiog confiimed by the news received

from tho East. The substance of tho pamphlet is takon from a work entitled "Elpis Israel," written by Br. Thomas in the year ISSO, on page 300 of which he says:—"But tho lion power of England has not yet obtainod tho limit marked for it by tho ■ linger of God. Tho conquest of I'eieia by tho autocrat will doubtless cause. England to conquor Afghanistan, and to poize upon bedim that sho may command tho entrance to the Persian Gulf, and so provont him from obtaining access to India cither by land or soa.

It is too bad oi a Chnfet'ifcn tirothor to ac cuse mo of "ibRnS (stupidity " and "self hatisfied eompWoucy," when I only profess to live Mlntiiy and at random ; but passing to ihs substance ofhis complaint, let ><io examine it closoly. Qo seen™ to think that I accused Mr Uoberfe of making n [also interpretation ot prophecy, and ho therefore drags in Dr. .Thomas to giro corroborative evSdottce. ftoW what I question is> not (h* of theso forecasts of events in tho East, but tho Connection between them and ancient prophecies. Tho fact thai; Dr. Thomas foresaw what every other person of intelligence did does not validate his far-fetched connection of theso events with the fantastic visions of Daniel, or tho wild rhapsodies of John. Supposing tho Czar should conquer I'orsia, and that Britain should eoizo Afghanistan and ■in inspired revelation of those occurrences was mado to an obscuro Syrian tribo threo thousand yoars ago. But Dr> Thomas and Mr Robert Roberts by no moans agree in thoir so-called "interpretations," for tho formor forecasts tho conquest of all Europe (with the exception of England) by Russia, whilo tho latter, if I read aright, does not prophesy any such occurrence. To show that " Christadclphian" is entirely free from blind stupidity and eelf-satisfiod com placency, as well as egotism and uncharit ablenoes, I again quote from his letter :—

In this latter-day period men boast of their enlightenment and Christianity; yet how <nin is the boast. What can man, un aidod, toll of the future? Nothing. How vain is tho boost of Christianity. Christ said, "Search the Scriptures ;" a section of the community do so, and give tho light ob tamed thereby on tho near future, nnd are called fools for thoir trouble by those vho would feel highly insulted at being told that they are ignorant of God's purposes as concerning our earth and its inhabitants ; and yet such is tho case. The profound theologians (!) of tho day are unablo tointer prot prophecy, and too proud to accept the truth because revealed by humble laymen.

I scarcely know what to say in reply to this. If I aui classed with the " profound theologians of the day," I ought to feel flattered, although I confess myself as un able to interpret prophecy as I am to accept certain interpretations of it, even when put forth by 6tich a high authority as tho Rev. Dr. Cumming, who is not a "humble lay man " by any means. On the other hand, if " Christadelphian" means to include me among "those who would feel highly insulted," &c, let me tell him that I don't feel a bit insulted—only a trifle amused at his unbounded arrogance and dogmatism, mingled with that worst form of prido — " the prido that apes humility." Ta-ta, old man. Write again whon Russia has conquered Europe.

The gardener Adam and his spouse laugh at the claims of long descent. Again "Zamiel" feels constrained to gird up his loins and grasp hia faithful pen for a tilt against that disgusting snobbery that is slowly but surely eating its way into the vitals of colonial society. The jeuncue doree of n certain city decided upon establishing an athletic club, it being arranged by tho promoters that it should be kept very select. Well, the club was duly formed, officers elected, and subscrip tions collected. It consisted of the crone de la creme of colonial society, a sprinkling of bank clerks, two or three young ware housemen and the sons of well-to-do trades people, and a tail of highly respectable "thirty-bob-a-weekers." A short time after its formation, a burly young master butcher, who could box like a fleonan and run his hundred yards in level time, sought admission to this select assemblage of sucking Herculeses,"and he was refused, and on the motion of—whom do you think ? —a young man who takes the orders in his pa's undertaking establishment. '' Zamiel" would suggest to tho officers of this shoddy athletic society that they should tako upon them the arrangement of the social grades of tradesmen. He ia very anxious to learn what, in their estimation, are the relative positions of an undertaker who provides for the dead and a butcher who provides for the living.

Having a great regard for St. Patrick as tho " foino ould Irish crintleman," who in traditional lore is credited with tho un rivalled feat of putting the "comother" upon reptilian life in the Greon Isle, I took care to ariso betimes on Tuesday morn ing, plant a sprig of shamrock in my buttonhole, and with "a bit ova shtick" in my hand sally forth to see tho demonstration. Standing in Hobson-streetas the cynosure of patriotism for admiring Pats, I had time to indulgo my reflections and "chew the cud of aweot and bitter fancy." Tho first reflection which struck my pondoring mind was caused by the astounding number of tho children. It would seem that undor favour able conditions the fecundity of the Celtic race is very large, and consequently it is a potent element in the successful colonisa tion of young countries. Not only that, but it also looked to me as if the Irish, like the Russians, had a special faculty for denationalising and assimilating other peoples. How could I doubt the fact after seeing somo forty or fifty Maori men and women decked out in a rich verdancy of colour and gorgeous with Milesian symbols, marching proudly in the procession, and some of them, too, bearing banners. Nor could one in perambulating the city deny the ocular evidence that the Irish portion of the community are rapidly succeeding in converting their fellow-colonists too settled observance as a public holiday of the day of their tutelary saint. Climatic and other conditions favour them in this respect. Tho 17th of March comes to us with the pleasantest season of the year—a mellow autumn —and the day is happily placed for recreative purposes, midway between lle gatta Day and Her Majesty's birthday. On second thoughts I shall not attempt to pursue further these random reflections, for as visions rise* before my mind's oyo of young men and maidens wrestling in tho fervid exorcises of kiss-in the-ring, and of rotund old ladios, choleric old gentlemen, and mischievous urchins squeezing, pushing, and gosticu lating in their offorts topasstheronlral gate way, I feel that much greater spnee than is allowed mo would, be required for doing full justice to them. Therefore, Patrick and Bridget, aureooir. "Faugh-a-Ballagh" " Erin-go-Bragh."

Seeing a number of grim-featured little boys at the corner of a street on St. Patrick's Day, with short pipes in their mouths, and some of them without either shoes or stock ings, I could not hoip asking myself the questions (as thero was a Mike, and a Pat amongst thorn) —Did St. Patrick smoko? and—ls the smoking of tobacco beneficial to boys oE ten and twelve years of age 1 I had no difficulty in solving the first question, because tobacco was not so used in tho remoto ago of the apostle of Ireland ; nor had its fumes anything to do with the con version of the Irish people, although strange miracles are credited to St. Patrick. I thought of speaking to the ragamuffins upon tho subject of tobacco-smoking, but tho sight of a constable and his dog caused them to bolt in the direction of Abercrombie street. I came to the conclusion that tobacco-smoking, when indulged in by boys of tender years, is noxious, ridiculous, and, according to medical authors, injurious to tho system. At that early period of life, the system should be active and healthy, instead of which the use of tobacco weakens the cerebral action of the brain and deadens tho nerves. In Auckland, parents are con tinually making the melancholy confession to the magistrate that thoir boys are beyond their control, and soliciting an order for their removal to the care of Mr Hogan, at Kohimarama, or I might say to them, as the Germans say, "Herr Papa, you should interfere with something that will make your boys pipe in another fashion!" So awake are the Germans to the pernicious habit of smoking among boys, that their Government have passed a law for the punishment of lads under fcixteen who may be caught in the act of indulging in the Virginian weed or any other kind of tobacco. I may state, for the information of juvenile smokers who wish to knock off the habits,that there is an anti-smoking society: among the other regenerating pocie-iies of Auckland, with Mr Fred. Blonifield for ita honorary Beeretary, The plainly-woidei re

port of the AnW-Smoking Society is quito unique, and withal vory striking. Tho writer of the document does not boliovo in tho hazy song of the larrikin—

Pull', my boye. puff, and you'll pull'awuy cai'u, And blow your calamities iuto tho air;

'Twos the custom with knights of: tVo BWord and the pen; Then liffht up your n>£crec'hAnms, ms bvaVO little mou, Tho tail, young teorotftvy tbPa mo that noarly 100 youths tt*d -young mon have enrol lea tinder bis banner ; and it is in tho l»fo":tt 61 such that ho labours, for ho sayc —ami liis remarks smack ot pound senso— 'tis no use meddling with tho sottlod habits of old mon, who are as fo»d c£ tho pipo al' granny is of hoc lr>?. On tiio authority of Mr t.Vres fc'illldr of a pamphlot entitled " The Tobacco Plant;" F''od, eayti, "It id ostimatcd that tho tobacco Annually con sumed hi the it-ovW (rfiauuta to'_',OOD,ooo,ooo of pound?, and that if tho loaves wore made into a roll two inohos in diameter wo should have a tobacco serpent which, following the direction of tho equator, would trail around the earth thirty times."

Thero U nothing John Bull glories in more rapturously than thh great palladium of British liberty, and ho rends with raro nnction Harris of tho corruption or eccon trio practiced of foreign court of justice Loo Choy, tho Celestial who lately found himself within tho walls of an Otago gaol without knowing tho roason why, will, whoti he reirniiia his liberty and returns to his nativo het>th, delight h!o nlir.ond-oyed fello\v countrymen with storios of tho strange customs of tho English barbarians. Loo Choy seonis to havo boon a (jay Lothario, who has "gone the paco" with all tho suc coss of an accomplished destroyer of female happiness. Ho has discovered, hoivover, that thoro is no cup of pleasure, however sweot, which has not at bottom some bitter dregs. A summons was got out against him for failing to support an infant Choy ; but it takes ft very intelligent policoman to tell one Chinaman from another, and the sum mons was served on tho wrong man. Of course, Loo Choy dii I riot appear, nnd an ordor was mado, for failing to obey which " John" now finds hinisoit locked up for six months, convicted of au otFonco ho has nover had tho chanco of disproving. Tho funny part of it is that although he haa slid easily into gaul without trial in this frees and enlightoued country, an appeal has hud to be mado to tho Supremo Court to got him out again, and tho law books are being thumbed in vain for a parallol caso which may corvo as a colourable precedent for opening tho doors of his Coll. A standing Joko against tho administration of Britlßh justice is the case of the Unlucky foreignor in England who, having boon robbed, was bound over to appear at tho a.wsizos as witness against the thief. Failing to find tho required bonds, he was locked up for some months awaiting tho trial, only to find when it came on that the otl'onder, who had been out on bail, while his victim was in confine ment, had cloaved. Loo Choy's oxporionco, if not quite so grotesque a parody of justice, may be booked upon as ono of tho freaks of tho law.

Tho Minister of Public Works should hencoforth be embalmed in history as " Richardson the Magnanimous." Mr S. Vaile, who for tho last two or three years has amused himself and entertained tho public by abusing tho railway oiliciala as a set of nincompoops, and the whole depart mont as a system of bungling incompetence, took it into his head to stump the country on the subject, und to facilitate his purpose, the Minister of \Vork3 lias granted him a fieo pass over all tho linos of the colony. Can it bo that the wily Minister craftily cal culates that Mr Vailo's extraordinary pro positions will ba most easily disposed of by letting them be hoard ? A Chriatchtirch paper, complaining of a long telegraphic report of Mr Vaile's movements and speochos, observes that it would havo boon a loss expensivo way of serving tho one! tho Minister and Mr Vailo havo in view if ho had been deadheaded on thetolcgraph wires instead of on tho lines, thusonabiiiig him to tell his story onco tor all through the press rathcrthan by hiring halls all over tho colony for tho purpose. 'Iho journal has become alarmed lest local press representatives should regard it as their solomn duty to wire out a lump of Mr Vaile's lecture from every point wliero ho delivers it, in which case it may bo feared tho irrepressible reformor will have rather a lively timo with the newspapers before he reaches Dunedin.

Mr Vaile's revolution in railway manage ment, with its promises of unlimited traliic at peppercorn rates, is, however, nothing to what Mr \V. L. ReesJ promises tiio world, being no loss than universal employ mont for every one who wants it, with salary according to talonts and share in tho surplus profits. How many thousands of dreamcra havo propounded schomos of tho same part, beginning in noiee and ending in smoku? Mr Roes's idea is, of course, based on co operation, but co-oporativo schemes havo, as a rule, disappointed thoao who repose their trust in thorn, and for a very obvious reason. Smart mon don't boliovo in putting their talents in tho ruck with the modiocro and the lazy ; they don't bo lievo in tho share and share-alike prinoiplo. And in theso times, whon competition ie keen, it takes a man of onorgy, who puU his whole soul into his work and outs ovory thing vory fine, to make an entorprino pay. Co-oporation lacks tho incontivo of big personal gains, and, though multiplying tho incentives to success, in labour schemes it disheartens by tho im portation of drones. Somo of theso schemes can bo made to look vory pretty on paper, but like many glittering quartz specimens, they don't pan out anything equal to ap poarancos.

Nurse Dudloy, who thot the dynamitist, O'Donovan Rossa, is endowed with a largo share of mother wit. In doclnring that Roasa's paper had made her an unexpected convert to the doctrines of dynamite and assassination, she neatly turned tho moral responsibility of tho crime upon her victim. Her description of Rossa as a loud-talking braggadocift, who does little harm except in the effects of his ravings upon ignorant people whose money ho handle?, nlso shows that she was intelligent enough to tako his measure. It ever assassination was dofon siblo, the attempted removal of this man, who openly champions crime, is a caeo in point.

Tho Salvation Army is evidently set tling down, and may now bo regarded as a fairly quiescent part of tho coramuniiy. Not that the pious soldiers havo lost tho power of stormy utttranco, or that they aro aa serenely silent as Goorgo Fox, tho paront of Quakerism. Tho battlo cry is more reasonable, almost conlinod to tho barracks, and the oars of passing citizens aro no longer dinned with tho hungry shouts of shoeless Arabs with "War Cry," "Only a ponny." •Thot strango literary or fJospel mixturo, liko Madamo Mantonou's parlour pot, seems to have had its dnVi whtlu tho Salvationists exist. Occasionally, in fact daily, may bo soon plodding ulong tho streot, in plainoat dross, a warrior sister, bont, I opino, on an errand of morcy, or speaking in low tor.os to Alfred James as to tho po^siblo reform of somo unfortunato girl; or, it may bo, watching at tho prison-gato on a mis sion of sympathy with suffering humanity. Tirao was, and not long ago, when do teotivea were wont to scan tho faces of suspicious - looking individuals whenever some one was wanted who had wilfully broken a commandmont, especially the one about stealing. Now, lam informed at head - quarters that no policoman is needed at tho barracks, for tho badly - behaved recuits havo been scattered, like Israel's childron, hither and thither, and the Army is under proper discipline. They have tho character of be ing a sober people, and with all their ec centricities, without anticipating a trip to tho colder rogions of Russia, the soldiers are doing good servico at homo in their own peculiar way; and although eomo of the youngor lasses retort with something like scornful arrogance upon thoughtless girls who laugh at them and their oddness of dress, the provocation generally comes from those who have not the laugh exactly on their side. The armyists are working, and their unpolished ministrations may benefit thatv lowlier class of individuals which organised religious bodies do not reach. Mako way, therefore, and let the Salvationists'murch on.

To what strange use may not tho "par snnal" column of this Journal be put. Here is one of the latest advertising curiosi ties, which appeared on Thursday evening : "To H. On no account telegraph; letters are more safe. Mother suspects there is something botweon us. I will be brive." What a host of awful things these faw linos suggest to us, and what a tale they mightunfold. Thoy wore evidently produced by some lovo sick maiden ; indeed, I can imagine the whole story. She was an only daughter, you know, and she loved him so awfully ; t>u* hor mother thought ho wasn't wood enough to swing on her gate, and so Ke never came around except when the old lady Tvaa -not about. Even thia

small swootnoss, thoso sparkles of sunshine, which at raro intervals variod thoir othor wiso cloudy oxistoncos, wore not to continue. Alas ! it camo to pa«H that tho young follow had to >rj away, Ho had to leavo tho town on business, of course. Before he went ho had one long last jiartfn<j Ititorviow with his innrtmoiilta. Tltcy swore to bo truo to each other (and tho old" woman bo hanged I as usual), and to correspond regularly. Well, thoy parted. Ho had his—well, " his heart was in his boots ;" and she— oh ! sho was weeping "as if hor hoart would break :" and I just reckon her pockot;!mndkorchiof v.as kind of soaked with tho copious flow of tears which ulio felt herself unablo to restrain. All went well foi' a short timo, but soon tho old lady got scent of what was going on, and then tho only daughter wanted to warn tho young follow that thcro was danger; so, in despair, sho resorted to the newspaper, and tlio advertiscniont alroudy published was the result.

But v.hy is "II" to refrain from tolo graphing ? You should know, mydearyouug lady, that telegraph operators never divulgo the contents of motrauucu, Oh, perhaps your brother is in the business ; well, in that c.iso of course, letters arc safor ; or, if you will havo it t'other way, "moro safo." And if " mother does suspect there is something bottveon us." no ifoubt you will find it necessary to "bo bravo." Keep your peckor up! Tlio course of true love novor did run smooth, but of course that that iulinito condition of bliss un- BPcakable which ia ultimately arrived at by constancy is well wortli all tho trouble and anxiety, ovon tho distrust and ever lasting suspicions of amothor-in-law. Yes, " bo bravo !"

SALA'S NOSE.

How It Gavo tho English Journalist a

Froo Holiday.

Tho Fronoa Republic Doomed.

Is an interview with a San Francisco "dill" roportor, Mr Uoorgo Augustus Sala stated that his thirty yours of journalistic work have boon onlivoncd by observation in all tho great pageants of tho world during that poriod. As correspondent of the load ing English journals, Mr Sala has visited every part of tho civilised world whore thoro wits anything worthy ot noto, and tho smallest scrap of hid romiuiscout con versation is necessarily interesting. H^ was as entertaining wlion talking of him self as tho great hintoric events which his pen had hol|>ed to mako muniorablo. Tho most noticeable of Mr Sala's linyamonta is n Bardolphian nose, which tho earicaturiHtd aro fond of touching up whon they pay thoir respects to him. Talking of Thack eray's sensitiveness nbout his ungro cian nasal organ, Mr Said says, laughingly : "My noeo has had a good deul of notoriety on account of its Bhapo and rathor luminous properties. I think a good doal of it, nevertheless, and I ought to, for it brought mo £500 onco, in this way : I had stood n good deal of dialling in print about my nuso, and at last a chap who wasn't particularly fond of me gavo mo tho benolit of a squib, in which ho distinctly said that tho com plexion of my noso proved mo to bo a Bacchanalian. Now, it so happens that I am not a Bacchanalian, nor had my no.«o acquired its distinctive character from tho mollow inlluonco of wines or spirits. Tho fact was that in my riotous and unchristian yo:ith, when at collogo, I had a light with v lollow who was quite handy with his fists, and bowidos wore a heavy diamond ring whon tho controversy liogtm. Tho result wtis that between his natural hitting ability and the prominence of his jowollery, I got my nose in such a condition that it required hulf a - dozen stitches to restore it to anything like its original beauty. Conscious, therefore, of my integrity, 1 rosolvod to talio my libeller on tho hop, and did so I sued him for libel, and having showed that my noso was not tho advertisement of a Bacchanalian, 1 got judgment againsth.in for £;0(J, which assisted me to mako a very pleasant tourof thosouth of Europe tho same summer. So I rather had the laugh of him, and I cannot but havo a good opinion of my nose." Edmund Yatos and tho Libel Law. Mr Sala went brielly over tho «uao of Edmund Yatos, tho distinguished London editor, who was rocontly sentenced to four months' imprisonment for libolling Lord Lonsdalo. I'ho libellous item, it appears, was written for a few shillings by a lady of tho hereditary aristocracy, arid as it affected tho reputation of Lndy Lonsdalo, her husband sued Editor Vates criminally, and had him sont to gaol. It appears that the item slipped in without the knowledge of tho editor, who is vory much of a swell, and sponds moro timo around his country seat in a drag, or on a hunter, than on tho editorial tripod. Mr Sala said that soutouco meant four months of actual imprisonment, with all tho rigors of prison discipline In England, prison autho Hies aro soiiHe**, and tho only hope of tho incarcerated editor is that some kiud hearted doctor may testify that tho prisoner is affected with heart diseaco, or something of that kind, when hi« discipline will bo slightly relaxed. According to English ofchicfl, however, tho immured journalist has nob lost his sooml status by the conviction. None of tho Rwoll clubs to which ho belongs hnvo dropped him from thoir rolla, and that, in England, in tho test. Mr Yatos in hi? oarly days, however, got into iroublo with tho Garrick Club, and was oustod from that historic organisation for his too pointed roforoncos to tho porsonnl peculiarities of Thackeray.

English and American Strength. lloforrini' to tho unsottlod condition of affairs in Europo, Mr Sala nnid that somo of tho continental nations aro talking about whipping 'England, bnti thoy will havo a lively timo doing it. No ono but an Englishman knows fully what tho strength of tho country is. Liko Amorioa,. England has an immonso rosorvo forco of volunteors, and could easily equip ono mil lion ablobodiod fighting raon in six weeks to rosint invasion.

On tho subject of a largor standing army for America, Mr Sala dilTors with tho prophots of ovil oraon, who aro continually shouting about tho nocossity of imitating Europe- in tho mattor of military defences. Mr Bala's idoa is that all that America needs is tho handful of soldiers nocessary to keep tho Indiana in chock, and tho small force needful for the fortifications. Woro England to abolish its imperial Govern ment and adopt a ropublican ono, she would havo no need for a largo army. Mr Sala doos not, however, favour tho establish ment of a ropublic in England, and thinks that tho chnngo from tho empire to a domocracy will not occur in tho lifof.iino of tho proseut gonoration. Ho holds that his country is satisfied in tho main with tho roal liberty which he thinks it possesses, and tho ornamental figurehead of a royal family. Ah to tho depression of trado in England, Mr Sala appears to bo coinfortod by tliß thought that buHinoss is at a lowor obb in Franco. J-fo has noticed a wondorful progression in this country within tho past five yoars. Now York ho rogards as v most romarkablo town, but thinks it resomblos Paris. English it is not, in his idoa, in tho slightest dogree. Now York Swells. " When I walk down Fifth Avonuo," said ho, " and particularly when I go through Union Square, I am inclined to rub my oyes and ask my solf: Whore am I ? Is this Now York, Paris, or St. Petersburg in tho summer? The young men all imitato tho Fronch stylo of dross, tho broad wristband and curlinr* hats. No, thoy aro not English looking! they are tho swells of the boulevards," said Mr Sala. Like most Europoan tourists, he prefers tho Weat, where the characteristics aro distinctive. Talking of France, ho said : " I give tho Republic of France four years more of power, then it will collapso and givo way to the Orleanists. The average length of life of any Government in France is about eighteen years, and the present cannot by any possibility prove an oxecption. See if it does." Thereupon Mr Sala returned to his writ ing, and the reporter withdrew.

Her Majesty's fiddlor is dead. Willie Blair, who for many years past had been known by the title of the "Queen's Fiddler," died at, Balmoral on Friday last week, at the advanced age of ninety years. Until a few weeks ago, when he became ill of bronchitis, "Willie," who, as a man and a musician, belonged to the old school, enjoyed robust health, and to the last possessed all his faculties. Ho was a great favourite of tho lato Prince Consort, and ;o the close of his days enjoyed the favour and kindness of Her Majesty and tho Royal family. Though Blair was not a trained fiddlor, there was muah character and enthusiasm in his violin playing, end lib familiar tigure wiil ba greatly missed in Upper Docsido.

SKINNY MEN.-" wdi»-.H-rtihh™»-it" «■ toreshMiii, ted Yiaour. <ur<* DyMWPMWiniiwtwK n, Itabiuty, At Druggist* _, Zim-m Kemptlio— " "•<*>., ttta.% Auckliai *

SPORTING.

PRINCIPAL RACING FIXTURES.

New Zoatanfl. Northern jockoj- Club Autumn March 21 Kimkupiilcapa Racing Club March 'a Tiunnnlcl Anniversary Jleoling March 27, 28 OnolmnKa n.C. Autumn.. March 2S Auckland K.C. Auumm April 1 and li Canterbury J.C. Autumn Mettlns April (i, 7 I'akaimnn .1.(1 Ant nnin April 11 CaiuhridKQ ''-C. Autumn April 15 ami lti I'apiikura JUnetinK April:!;: WollliiKton 11. C. Autunm May I urn I'l Takapium .I.C. Winter May 21 Aucuiand K.C. Stccnlculiasti JloctiiiK. ..Juno li

Australia. lliiwiieslmry K.C. Autuinu March Cfi, 27 A..1.C. Aut.umn April li. S, 10, 11 South Australian J.C.(at!flominßton>.. May 2,7,1) Dates of Nominations, Entrios and Accoptancos. Acceptances and jjoneral entries Onchuni;u Autumn Meeting Mur«h2s lflrat forfolt Auckland Kn-ti r Handicap and Sti!o|)Uiolni3i> unil Kcnoral entrici ....Al»rch 2T Final payniciitGri'.Lf Am uinn!|.iirHottpil'irchi^ Nominatioiia Ureat Northern at. Logcr ..April 10

To Correspondents.

SroitTHMAN.—We full into error last week. Oroli-'em won tile Tukiumnu Sloeplee'muo iv 18S2. rNQUißKil.—Panic (tho slro of Conmiotion) rtlctl in IS7S. JIo wus "0 yoaiy old at llie lime of hi;i death. J.S.—N'olsnn's weight when ho won tho Auclt- Imid Autumn Handicap lust yinr was 7ut. "Hi. Hn ran iho mile and a lmlf in 2inin. lOlsee. W.K.—Ludy ICnnmi carried List lib in th<i Great Autumn Handicap fast yciir, and linished tliira. Tasmun bud Bat 51b. und Captain \\ ebbter (jot l>lb. 1C.H.0.-Tho fnatoßt timeon the Handwiok race course for one milo in credited to Archie, viz , linin. 12Jneo. Tho fastest timo for ono milu <m the ft'leiulngton nieccourao to lluolku, lmin. JOsoca. W.F.J.—Tho rocently-purohuaodKevenfro won llvu out of tho anven mccti ho blurted for lint, eeaooii, and at tlio Tanninga and Kotorun Meetings laat month won tho principal rucus on tho flat and over hurdles. U.S. (Newton). - The Barb swept tho Ihroo handicaps — Sydney Cup, 18IH, Motropolitun Stakes, and Hydnov Cup. 18d!l-in succession. He carried lOst 81b when ho won tho Sydney Cup the second time, boinij f ■hon fl years old. mid was handicapped at list 71b for tlio fol lowing Jlolboui'iiu Cup.

NOTES BY HIPPONA.

Thk Taranaki Jookoy Club Autumn Moot ing takes placo on Friday and Saturday ucxt, tho Dorby and J.C. Handicap being sot down for decision on tho first day Tho following aro tho names of those who havo accepted for tho principal cvonts : — T.J.C. Handicap. st.lh. st.lb. Sou'-wcator .. 812 Tho Dauphin .. S 2 Administrator .. 811 bir Ikduvisro .. 7 Hi Turuuoisu .. .. 810 Luurol .. ..7 8 Speculation .. 8 <J ISuzzurd .. .. 7 .'i llliiek Hoso ..8 7 Myatory .. ..7 0 Kulbilior .. .. 8 :) Handicap Huudi.ks.— Macaroni. Alario. nilly-Koby-'oui. Julia Ann, Wlduawuko. Caoui choue, lllua Uoll, Suntihino, Now Year, and Worm. Sikki'l.kcuihk —Macaroni. Alarlc, llilly-RO by-'em. Julia Ann, Wiilouwako, Caoutclioue. Now Year. Klyino Handicap.—Son'wnator, Turquoise. SpeoulftUon, Fuallior, The Onuphin. Laurul, Stitnnolla. HiiiKloiulor. Witiora. Okato, hcotcli Mist, EKiuont, Ludy Florence, Awatea. Tho Napior Handicap on Tuosday resulted somewhat in a surprise, for Pearl had bcon but littlo thought of in connection with the race. It will bo remembered sho was pur chased from tho New Zealand Stud Com pany on bohftlf of n Nnpior eportsman, and proved last season that cho was ablo to gallop, for sho placed both two-year-old races to hor credit at tho Hawko's Bay Autumn Mooting, whilo last October cho opened her throo-yoar-old careor by getting second to Tigrodia in tlio Spring Handicap. The result of tho race should pet tho Stud Com pany in high gloo, for they own Pearl Anil (tho dam of i'oarl), tho sire and dam of Clog* (who ran second), while Fusilier, tho other placogottor, is ono of old Musket's progeny. Tigrodia teems to havo been made a b';.' " pot " for tho raco, but could get no ncnrai than fourth. On tho socond day, Pr.nl carrying Sst "21b, also placed tho Trades men's Cup—tho big raco of tho afternoon — fcj hor credit.

Tho weights for tho Onohunga Kacing Club Autumn Meeting, which takes place on Saturday next, made their appenrunc1 during tho week. Fur tho big itandic.ip. Kovengo lias a healthy-looking appearance with 7st 41b, and Seagull and Notice of Motion appear to mo tho two be.«t treated it. tho Hurdles. Acceptances and genera. ontrios for tho meeting are duo on Wednes day noxt.

Navigator has boon awarded tho post of honour in the Sydney Gold Cup, with !)*i ulh, Welcome Jack coming next with il-a 31b. In tho Hawko»bury Autumn llundi cap, 1J milo, run noxt Friday, Mr I'ilbrow' howo ha- list , rilb, mid in tho Rowley Milo he h:i.« boon allotted top weight, Ost 711). Horco-ownern should boar in mind thai tho cocond forfeit for tho Auckland llacing <;inb Eastor Handicap nud Steoplechaso, and gonoral entries for the minor events of the Autumn Mooting, closo on Friday next at S p.m. Oolonol Frasor has iioloctod tho namo of " Tupara " for tho yoarling colt by Cadogan or Muskot—i'loronco McCarthy, purchnFod by him at the recent X.Z. Stud Com pany's salo. Uoorgo Wright has charge ol tho youngster. Libeller mado amonds for his dofoat in tho Napior Handicap by placing tho Grand Stand Handicap, run on the focond day of tho Hawko's Bay Meeting, tp the credit nt tho popular Thames ejKjrtsrnan, Mr W. Bobbott. Tho little son of Traducor had tho vory lonient impost of 7st to carry, and defeated Fumlior, [,oonate, Oabblo, and Pasha, getting over the two milos in Umin, '128OC.

Out of the 27 nominated, for the Giv.it Autumn Handicap 14 havo criod content, Sou'-wostor now hoadn tho list with Sat Sib, a weight that should not, pnt him out of it. For my part, howovor, I prefer something more roliablo, and my opinion is that if Tronton eomos to tho poet sound and wjII, ho will about win.

Linda broke down badly while running in tho Hondoreon's Mill Cup, and it will bo Homo timo boforo sho is nblo to make her appearance again on a racocourso. Commotion started a warm favourite for tho Champion Stakes, 7 to ■! boing laid on hia ability to win. Silver King was second in domand, and rocoivodn good dcnl of Flip port at 5 to 2, but tho only other starters David, Tremando, Fryingpan, and Off Colour wore littlo fanciod. Commotion's Htablo companion, Fryingpan, mado the running for a milo and a half, and thon ro tirod, leaving tho champion and Silvor King in front. Tho pair ran togothor to tlio shods tho second timo round, when tho oolt was beaten, and a groat shout went up when it was eoen Commotion was loading into tho straight. David thon shot away from the rest of tho field, and wont in pursuit of tho favourito, but ho novor could got up, and Commotion won by about ton lengths, linish ingvorystrongly. Thoovation which the son of Punic rocoivod from tho crowd nftor his victory was most impressive, ho being long and loudly cheorod as ho was oscorted buck to tho scalo ; whilst tho hugo aEsemblago of pooplo who had gathered on tho courso showed their sincoro appreciation of t,ho grand rao.ohorso by patting him on tho nook and back as ho walked quietly past thorn. It is statod that Commotion was not much distressed, which \e romarkablo, considering tho fast timo in which tho raco was run.

It was rathor hard linos on Mr J. Marshall to journoy to Nnpior with Dorringer, and thon got dono by hnlf-a-longth. Alpine Rose, who beat tho Auckland-bred colt in tho Nursory Stakes, is ownod by Mr JI. Redwood, and is half-brother to Black Rose. Ho has tho reputation of being a " clinker," and, it will bo remombered, gal loped ovor his field in tho Sapling Stakes at tho Wanganui Meeting. Referring to his victory there, "Flaneur" writes:—Tho way tho Canterbury Derby winner's half brother strode home is good warrant that tho dam can throw winnors from other sires than Antoros. She is now in foal to Nata tor, and Mr VV. T. Owon will, if all go woll, have another good look in for tho " blue ribbon " of Wanganui, whicli ho has twice won. I think tho mare has a colt foal nt foot by Fathom, a big favourito for tho Derby here some years back, .who broke down. As i'athom was by Day Dawn, from Maid of the Mist, he is well bred enough for anything. It seems that tho great pace possessed by Coronet, the Newmarket Handicap winnor, was only discovered somewhat accidentally. Mr. J. D Robertson meant slipping Dirk Hatteraick for tho Newmarket Handicap and sending Coronet for the Australian Cup, but in a trial ovor six furlongs in which Dirk, Colstoun, and Coronot took part, tho latter astonished his trainer by beating tho pair anyhow. Not certain of tho correctness of tho epin, Mr. Robertson sent the three again, and asked Coronet to carry 71b more, and when the result was repeated he aban doned all idea of sending Dirk, and at onco put a heavy commission in tho market for Coronot.

Sincetheconclusion of the V.R.C.Autumn Meeting, inquiries have been ma^la in Melbourne for Duulop and The Teacher in connection with the next Derby, tho best offer against either being 10 to 1. New stead is still nominally first favourite for that eroot at sto 1; while GOO to 100_ was laid a few days badk against Monte Christo'a chance of adding another Blue Riband to the Hon, James White.

Old Lurlino's son Prometheus, who was so much fanciod for the Newmarkot Handicap, ljut who failed to gnin a situation in that rnco, proved his ability to gallop on tho last day cf tho V.X.C. "Meeting, by oasily winning the Free Handicap. Ho boat a Held of 17, and ran tho mile and a quarter in 2min !).;.->e<: , which is the fastest on record for tho Colonies. Tiii* porformanco goes to prove tlia' hia party made no mistake when they backed him so heavily to win the " throe-quarter mile spurt." It is paid that Williamson did not rido as cleverly as usual, otliorwiso Sheet Anchor would have just won tho Australian Cup. I to made, his run rathor too early in tho race. Tho Italiarat division "throw in " for 11 big etako by Uingwood's victory. They backed him early in tho day, and endeavoured to got oil'some of their money, but could not do ra, and wcro forced to retain it. Sir Thomas Elder's sale of yoarlings.which took placu in Melbourno, was a great KHCCOBK, the littcon youngsters submitted bringing .l.'lJ,!il0, or an average of 100 guinuaH. II rI. lAjulshara fptvo .'HO guinoaa lor a Idly by D/imwell—Emily Faithful, and aftlly by Nockcrsgat—La Knino went to Mr M. Bryant for \!-J.'> guineas, Sir \V, .1. Clnrk-o }.'iive :!00 guineas for a colt by Darriwoll—Koniula.and a ;!-year-old brother lo (!network brought ">-0 guineas, Mr Eli .lellott b«ii)g tho purt'lia.sor. Blink Bonny, tho Cauliield Cup winno", created nnothur surpriso on tho lust day of the S'.U C. ([Meeting. She started in tho Autumn Handicap at 20 to 1, but going to tho front toon after tho flag was dropped, wow noveroollarod.nnd won easily by alongth. Minerva was backed for tho race down to 5 to '2, and Blink Bonny's party, who wore standing a couple of other horses, never put a single shilling on her. Tho inglorious defoal of Coronet In tho Australian Cup (says tho " Sportsman ") will rank in turf history as ono of tho moat sensational downfalls of a public favourite recorded in tho racing annals of Australia. Tho whole of the surroundings of the horse aro phenomenal—his position in the market, his conditional trial with Off Colour, his erratic, headstrong rush to the front on the tall or tho flag, and his sudden, complete, uud unexpected collapse at tho turn each combined to rondor tho fall of Coronet memorable, and to again point the moral and adorn the old turf truism to the effect that—"Them arc no certainties in racing." The ttoryol tho race as fur as the favourite was concerned w soon told—ho took tho bit between his tooth and rushed to tho front before the grandstand was reached, and, defying .-ill < racknoll's persistent efforto to pull him hauk, rualiod along on his mail carcor, swerving from side tosido, until tho sheds were passed, when, amid erics of "Tho favourite's done!" ho dropped buck to his Held, was lost wight of fur a second as thoy olosod around him, and thon, amid a cloud of dust, tho all-rose arm of Sammy Crucknell was soon lifted high in earnest and powerful uxpOHtulation with his horse, who, despite the application of tho whip, fell back still farther, and ultimately cantered in about a hundred and fifty yards behind tho last horse in the race. Cracknoll, in his description of tho race, accounts for tho suddon collapse by the fact of tho horse slipping und "rick ing" himself.

CONDENSED ITEMS.

iNfr 11. JJ. Vullanco has purchased Sou - wester. Mr .1.0. Evott ha» boon appointed handi cappor to tho Nelson Jockey Club. Tho (inal paymont of saovß. for the Groat Autumn Handicap in duo noxt Saturday. Tho annual meeting of tho Now Zealand Stud Company taken placo on Tuesday, Sift March. Welcome .lack ran prominently for a milo and a halt in tho Australian Cup, when ho ctumblod. Mr M. O'Shannassy lms purchased tho \us>rnlian Cup winner liingwood for 020 guineas. I in- Aurkl.ind-bred colt Matchlock again ported -ill< in tho V.X.C A'uraory Stuktii, and ran fourth. Liuuurul entries for the Taranaki Autumn \leoting, including lisove. for tho Derby, iru duo to-night (Saturday). It is reported in Molbourno that it h tho intention of tho Hon. \Vm. Pearson to withdraw C-'oiuinoiion and Fryingpan from tho turf. Dei nt t was tlio mostsuccossful among tho jnekcv- at tho Dunodin Meeting, ho riding -i\ winners and four seconds out of H mounts. I'liu llawke-bury liacing Club Autumn Meeting will take placo on Thursday and t'rid.iy next, so as not to clash with the Hanlan Beach HOti!linfr match. 'fronton is said to havo run his two-milo trial for tlio Dunodin Cup in tho great timo of .'imiii. ;ii.*ccs. Ho had Tasinan at him for a mile and a quarter, and tinished homo svith liubina.

(Jartiold scorns to bo coming back to his old form again, 110 ran second in tho All \god Stakes at the V.K.C'. Mooting, with S.<t 151b up, and was only half a-longth behind tho winner, Dunlop.

After Commotion had weighed in all right for tho Champion Race, an admirer of t'l'o old horse expressed his willingness to accept £5,000 to .C.jOO about his chance of again winning next year. Tho stallion llughendon (siro of Con iugsby and tho hurdle racer Dizzy) was sold by auction in Melbourno tho other day for ■23 guineas. Mr Klworthy, tho Adolaido stud master, wan tho purchaser.

A two year-old colt called Abnor, by St. Albans— Starlight, has boon purchased by Mr .1. I). Robertson for 000 guineas, nnd the same sporteman also gavo 5(!0 guineas for Claiuiino, a colt by First King—Sonorita, at Mr .1. Wilson's yearling .-.alo.

At tho Hottling over tho V. K. C. Autumn Mooting, ,C 11,585 15s was paid over in stokes Tho Hon. .1. White rocoivod tho largost cheques £2,415, tho lion. YV. Pearson coming next with £1,487. Mr.l. Pilbrow rocoivcu L"'_'s, tho third money for tho Steoplochaso. It is understood tho bookmakers had con siderably the worst of it ovor tho V.R.O. Autumn Mooting, tho kuccohs of Coronet, Commotion,and Other favourites, moro than counterbalancing tho downfall of the first namod in tho Australian Cup and tho vic tories of tho fow other outsiders who got to tho front during tho mooting. At tho sale of Mr.John Fiold'a Tasmanian yearlings, a colt by Lapirtist out of Idalia went to Mr A.R. llobortson for 310 guineas, and a colt by Lnpidint—Claudine to the same buyer for 200 guinoas. A colt by Lapidist—Cores wont to Mr Talbot for SO guineas, and a colt by Lapidist—Edolla (dam of Tasman) found a purchasor in Mr 0. M. Robertson for 475 guineas, which was tho highest prico realised.

He Had Made the Round Trip.

" I havk takon my last ordor. lam going home," ho haid, as tho clock struck tho midnight hour. Tho niKflo looked at tho doctor with a significant glanco and whispered : "His mind wanders !"

Presently ho lifted his fovorish head from its pillow. "Any lottors from tho house?" ho in quired. "Thoro ought to bo lottors horo." Then ho slept, and in his sloop ho was a boy again, btibblod of fishing streams whoro tho trout playod, of school hours and romps with his mates. At J2 ho suddenly awakenod.

"All right," bo oxclaimed in a strong voico. "I'm ready."

Ho thought tho porter had called him for an oarly train. Tho doctor laid a soothing hand on him, and ho slept. In his sleep he murmured:

" Show you samples of our goods. I'm going off the road now. This order closea me out. The houso has called me in. Going to have my first vacation, but I shall lose timo—time - timo !" He drowsed oil', and while tho doctor coun tod his pul?e suddenly tho sick man started up. " Give me a letter from homo. Ellen al ways writes to mo here. Sho never disap pointed mo yofc—and the children. They will forgot mo if my trips are too long. I havo only a few moro towns-, to sell— promisod to bo home Christmas—l promised to be home—promised— " No word from the house yet ?" He was going fast now. The doctor bent ovor him and repeated, in a comforting voice, tho precious words of promise : "In my Father's house aro many mansions. If it wore not so I would have told you. " "Yos— yes," paid the dying traveller faintly. "Itis :i clear statement. It is a good house to travel for. It deals fair and square with its men " Tho chill December morning dawned —the end was very near. The sick man was approaching tho undiscovered land from whose bourne no traveller returns. "I've changed my route," he murmured ; faintly. "The house is calling mo in —■■vrito to Ellen and tho children that I'm —on —my—way-homo—it's in my sample case — -without monoy and without price —a good house— lills all its orders as agreed. Call me for the lirsfc train—l am going to make the round trip and get home for Christmas." They laid his head back on the pillow. He had mado the round trip. He had gone home for Christmas.—" Detroit Free Tress,"

FIELD SPORTS AND AQUATICS.

(BY ACTION.)

CRICKET FIXTURES

CIiUB MATCHES,

Marnli 21-WcSt Knd v. United, Newton v. WYhi iMid 'li\A, Alpha V. Our Hoys. Auckland v. Vagabonds, Gordon v. Otahuhu (atOUihuhu). March "8 -West Knd V. Unit.d, Newton v. WeatKu.liml. Alpha V Parnell. Auckland v. VaVibonds, Hor.:on v. Utabnhu (at Otahuhu). United mA, Auckland v. Gordon. Annl il.—West Knd v. Alnha, Newton v. Auckland 2od, United v. Our Boys, Auckland V. Gordon.

AQUATIC FIXTURES.

March 28-Hanlan r. Beach, &500 a-Bido and Rhaniiiionsiiip of tho world, on tho Paramatta H^Cliirord v. Tcemcr, £500 a-sidc.

The Olivette, which won the race for openboatsl? feet and under at tho Tauranga Regatta, changed hands tliero.

Ponsonby Rowing Club trial-fives post poned from Saturday last wero to tako placo this afternoon if tha weather proved favour able

Kowc and Kennedy, tho scullers, are in aetivo training for their coming contest on the Nopian, which is expected to be a close one.

Tho small craft in harbour got a great knocking about on.Saturdays galo, and the boat-builders have their hands full in effec ting repairs.

Tho race for IS-foet open boats, post poned from Judge's Bay Regatta on Tues day, was expected to tuko placo this after noon.

I am informed that the first and second boats in tho dingy nice at Judge's Bay Kogatta were used with eliding scats, and that protests woro made, but boing in formal, they were not considered. A wrestling match took place at Sydney a few days ago botweon John Keating and James I'endon, of Kerarbury Station, for tho championship of the colony and £100 aside. Tho match was won by Keating. Thoro has boon a groat deal of talk about another race between the Maseotto and the Dream. Tha owners havo not come to tonne, and tlie boats will probably not meet again before tho Ponsonby Regatta.

So then: i,-i to bo a I'oiiaonby Regatta on Easter Monday, aftet all. Several gentle men appear vory enthusiastic over the prospect of tmcces.s already, and xuy that tho mere fact of only three or four weeks remaining for preparation will make them work nil tho harder and achoivo satisfactory results.

As a result of tho dofoat of A. T. Kenny by F. Mooro in a raco for tho swimming championship of South Australia, it is very probable that there will bo a contest for the championship of Australia. Kenny has held tho position since March, 18S4, when ho wrested it from Mclndoe, and the posi tion lie ie placed in by Moore's victory is rather unsatisfactory to him.

Last week the backers and American friends of Edward Hanlan performed a very graceful act by presenting Elias Laycock with a very handsome and valuable gold Waltbam watch. Tho presentation was mado at the Theatro Royal, and tho winner of the Hop Bitters and tho Walker's Wllis koy trophies, who suitably respondod, was most enthusiastically cheered. Tho watch boars tho following inscription : " Presen ted to Eliaa Laycock by tho American friends of Edward Hanlan, Sydney, March 7th, 1885."

Tho contest which is to tako place on the 28th instant between llanlan and Beachon tho IVirramntta River has not as yetoxcited much intorest; but this is probably owing to tho fact that sporting men generally have during the past tow weeks had their atten tion drawn to other ovonts in tho field. No doubt during the intorval between tho present week and tho dato of the con test every opportunity for seeing the men at their work will ba eagerly seized by those interested in aquatic ovontß. It may be stated that tho autumn mooting in connec tion with tho Hawkosbury Racing Club bun been (ixed for the 'Jfith and 27th, to prevent its clashing with tho boat raco.

I have to acknowledge receipt of the "Now Zealand Rugby Football Annual" for 18S5, a handy nnd interesting work edited by Mr S. E. Sleigh, Vico-president of

i.lie DunoJin Football Club. Tho work con tains a photograph of tho New /.ealand learn of 18S4, and also particulars of tho varioim matches in which they played, bosidos accounts of provincial matches, &.Q., and valuablo hints to players. Tho writer says :—" Football has heen in existonco for many years past in Now Zealand, but it was not until IST.i, when Aucklandors mado a tour of the islands, that tho Ruj;by (,'amo was porman ontly adopted. There nro now four strong Unions in Now Zoaland—Auckland, Wellington, Canterbury, and Otago— besidos clubs in tho minor provinces, and tho Kugby game is played with such enthusiasm as to stamp it ns tho national framo of tho colony. Tho Canterbury Rugby Union and tho Dunedin Footbail Club belong to tho English Union. In Dunedin and Auckland hundreds of people watch tho intorclub contests, and quito 7,000 spectators turn out to witness an inter-provincial match in the formor city. Tho onlookers, too, arc thoroughly acquainted with the intricacies of tho came, and woa betide tho wretched individual who happens to play offside, for to him tho small boys show scant courtesy." " Tho Kugby Football Annual " will shortly bo for sale at C. E. White's, Newton.

Tho groat glove fight for 2,500 dollars a kulo, between .lack Brady (the heavv woight champion pugilist of the Pacific Slope) and Herbert A. Sludo, the Maori, was docidod at tho Wigwam, San Francisco, on December 17. About 3,000 porsoi)9 paid 75 conts, 1 dollar, '1 dollars, and 3 dollars for admission. Groat interest was mani foptcd over tho alTair, and a largo amount of money wagorod. Charles Dexter was roforeo, and Harry Maynard timekeeper. Brady offorod to bet Slado 250 dollars that ho would down him. Tbo latter replied, "No, I don't take it. It's against the law." Then "Time!" was called, and Slade made a feeble rush at Brady. A few blows were exchanged on both siller, but thoy amounted to nothing, Slade apparently had exerted himself too much in getting up from hia chair. Ho made the pooiest attempt at a fight imaginable. It looked aa though he was afraid to hit his opponent. Brady got in a couple of good hits on Slade's breadbasket, and the Maori's wind was gone. '"He was whipped before ho put up his props," said a spectator after the round, and tho sentiment was echoed by all who hoard him. Brady did not do any fighting in the round, the men clinching most of tho timo, and breathing as though they wore about to expire. When " Timo I" was called both men looked inexpres sibly happy, and retired to their corners liko lambs. When "Timo!" was callod for the socond round tho Maori aroso from his chair as though some one had glued him to his seat, and he had to stiugglo to separate the bottom of his tights from his resting-place. Ho looked big enough to beat down Brady's guard and knock the life out of him, and the reason why he did not do so must have boon bo causo ho did not have tho heart to do it, or elso thore was a contingent feo due him if ho carried out his contract, Brady rushed for him, and twice tho Maori hit back straight from tho shoulder, telling fright fully on his antagonist, but that was all ho did. Within tho first minute Brady pushed him over on his back. On rising to his feet, Slado was backed to tho ropes, and again fell, but not from any blows he received. Ho did not make a pretence of fighting in the socond minute, and when the threo "minutes wero about half up, Brady pushed him to the rope, and fought him to a standstill. The Maori's hands fell to hia sides, and Brady striking him on the cheek, he fell in a limp mass. Ho failed to got up in the ton seconds, and tho fight was awarded to Brady.—"National Police Gazette," Janu ary 17.

THE GARDEN.

f.By Hortufi.]

Calendar of Operations, March 21.

[Hortub is willing to ia*r p.ny querioe. Cor roßpondents must (?ivo Uinlf Sftt names and addresses, though not for publicatltW.Tf

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Straivherkirb (M., Ncwtown).-If ilispoaaiblft to obtain younfr. strawberry plants, you should plant out at once. In fact, new strawberry plantations ounlit always to bo marie imme diately after the (ir.it autumn rams. J lie youiiK plants will get well established before winter, and in tho early spring they will be stronger plants than those that are late planted, thus givliia mofe fruit, and o a better quality. When planting, recollect that tho strawberry plants are two seasons in the "round, therefore Rive plenty of manure to th>. eroiiud when digging. Litter manure is the best.

Soah Suns (G.C., Auckland).—Yes.it makes ono of tho best liquid manures jor nearly everything in the kitchen. It in especially < hud for celery or rhubarb. In Hip winter time throw it over the grass; it will .improve the lawn. Gladiolus (Amateur). — Do not, allow Scs'J ]joi]» to form on thn stalks unless you WK"i l r ° try and niiso a few n«w sorts and wish to 8. 1 ye K'cil for Mini piirpo.se. Whenever the buh.'' are liono flowering, cut away tho flower stalk; it only robs the bulb of strongth. Don't lift tho bulbs till thfi haulm or folia-go has propnrly ripened on your plants. When suoti i« ripened, lift and dry in the sun fora few days, then store away on a cool dry shell.

New Way of Preserving Fruit.

The following recipe for preserving fruit not only preserves tho colour and natural taste of the fruit, but also keeps it as fresh and luscious as the day it was picked, and is simple, nheap, and certain in its effects: — Tako ono pound of rosin, put in one ounce of tallow and one ounce of beeswax ; melt them slowly over the fire in an iron kettle, and bo very careful not to let them boil. When completely melted take the fruit you intend to put up, rub it over thoroughly with a fino chalk or whitening (which is done to provent the coating from adhering to the fruit), then dip the fruit into tho solution once and hold it up for a moment, to fasten the coating, and then pack away carefully in barrels or boxes in a cool, dry place. In dipping the fruit use a coarso net. Oranges and lemons must be packed on shelve?, "for if packed in bulk, as in boxes or barrels, the accumulated weight would crush them. Analysis of Soil.

Tho fertility of the soil is governed by the proportion of fine impalpable powder which oxists in it, this powder alone acting directly upon vegetable growth, which it does by entering the roots in solution with the water and acids with which it comes in contact. Put into a large glass tube (about a foot and a half long) tho soil to be examined, the sample to be all the soil removed in digging a hole two inches equare by eight inches deep, in any part of tho land tested then fill the tube half full of water, and vigorously shake the whole until tho contents are well mixed, and afterward allow it to settle. The heavy grains sink tirst, layers will be formed, the finest and most impalpable being nearest the top, the amount ef which will of course govern tho degree of the fertility of the sample, and an intelligent inspection of the different layers will allow any ono to form a pretty accurate analysis oi tho soil from which the sample was taken.

Tobacco Growing.

Dear lloutus,—Seeing your answer to a " Subscriber" re tobacco, I thought the fol lowing might be of come use to country set tlers who might be growing tobacco.—l am, &c, A. Walsh, Manager of Auckland Tobacco Company.

When Tobacco is Ripe.—The tobacco crop throughout tho North Island is fast arriving at maturity. To know when this crop is ripe and ready for cutting requires some experience, and many growers who may have successfully mastered the cultiva tion up to this period, and whose efforts are rowardod by the sight of an excellent crop, are apt to fall into a great error by cutting the plant before it is sufficiently matured, thereby entailing great loss, as few plants, if cut unripe, will properly condition down for curing and sweating, and will never repay tho growers for tho trouble and expense incurred in housing and drying. By allow ing tho plants to ripen thoroughly fully 15 to 20 per cent, in extra weight will be realised of good dried leaf, whereas if cut too early it will tako a longer period to dry and will produco but a thin, light, paper like quality which is worthless for manu facturing purposes, and would only bo suitable for shcepwash, etc. When practicable, tho advico of a competent judgo should be procured, and by carefully observing his instructions as to tho general features of the plant, when ripe, tho experience gained will soon enablo the grower to determine for him self. Where the assistance of a practised hand cannot bo obtained, the following information will be found of great ser vice : Taking it for granted that the plants wore properly topped, kept clear t'roin suckers, and the ground leaves broken off early in tho season to allow of all the nourishment from the main stalk to create body and substance in the remaining leaves, tho plant will, at reaching maturity, present quito a different ap pearanco. The top loaves, having at tained tho size of the lower ones, change from a dark green, reddish-spotted colour to a mottled appearance, when looked at from undomeath, the ends of the leaves show a decided tendency to curl down wards and twist upwards again, and, if the leaf is taken betwixt the finger und thumb, will, upon being squeezed, broak and anap short.

CUTTING THE PLANTS. Having now ascertained ■which plants aro ripo, they must bo allowed to stand until tho gum or sticky substance now forming exudes through out the leaves, and when they assume a decided bluish tint prepare for cut ting down the plants in the manner de scribed below, Never cut the plants im mediately after rain, as the gum, having re ceded to the stalk, must havo time allowed to gather again in the loaves. Wait a few days still the bluish tint reappears. The plant should never be cut while the dew is on the leaves ; but wait till it is off, say ten o'clock, and whs.t tobacco is cut from that timo until two o'clock, if the day is hot, will need close attention. In short, the whole oporation, from cutting in the field to the hanging upon the poles in the barn, needs care, as a little carelessness or inattention will damage pounds'worth. No hand should be allowed to handle it who is unwilling to use care and perform every oporation just as directed, or olse by break ing off loaves, or sticking lingers through them, etc., ho may do more damage than his wages amount to. In other countries the plants, when cut, are allowed to dry partially in the fields, but here, owing to tho moist atmospheric action, it would, perhaps, not be generally advisable to adopt this courso without more oxporionco. Befors cutting any, soo that the drying sheds aro fully prepared with poles and scaffolds. Tho best convenience for removing it from the fields is a

hand-barrow, where only small quan tities are grown; a sledge will be found more convenient for large crops. Tho following method, for tho districts of tho North Island, is by far the best, as it will cure in a much shorter time, by the drying of t!ie pith ct the stalk, which is the main reservoir of moisture It is performed as follows :—Have a chisel about a foot long and three inches broad, the sharp odge not bevelled on one side, but coming to an edgo by a gradual taper on both sides (a common tenon saw or large butcher's knife would answer the same purpose); place the edge of tho instrument in the centre of the stalk, about a couple of inches above the place where tho plant is intended to be cut, and push it carefully up, guiding it in its course so a* not to break or cut off any leaves, to within two or three inches of the end where it has been topped. The plant should then bo cut, taking hold of it with tho left hind, not carelessly by the leaves, but. carefully by the stalk, and as carefully leaned ovor to allow an axo being used, which should have a handle about a foot long; an ordinary tomahawk will do very well. Cut the plant with one blow close to the ground, laying it carefully down with the top to the sun ; if laid othorwise the leaf will burn before tho main stalk of tho plant will wilt sufficiently to admit of handling. Tho splitting is best done on those mornings when, upon examination of the plants, a bluish tint appears and a sticky, gummy substance adheres to tho lingers when squeezed. Fully ten per cent. more in weight will result to the crop if cut in this manner. HAYING AND CUIiIXO.

After tho cut plant has become well wilted on one side, it should be turned over, and when so wilted that the stem has lost most of its brittleuoss, load as directed, taking hold of the butt of the stalk, laying it carefully on the arm, and as carefully on the load. If the day be very hot, use ex-

podition in getting to thosbed V^ distance be great, the ]£$> *M%: When carried into thfi rl™- % bu\' should, if quite warmb c fc« deep upon tho iloor and S^°Jg ever, tho day be cool and "W B>« hung up soon, they may n/W Wtj^ inches broad- (or poles cit i-S^k will da as well), tlm, ,"* Nk pwpemd high cnoUh ? 2 ! icha n g S u3p 3n S4 lo « the ground, nnd set f ttr en™ , toil|% one to the other. Now p,^.l^ of tobacco upon the lath ihe Bt4 them over and down, butt „ %* they hang perpendicular and f?'"'^ eight inches apart, „ th ey %< touch without crowding ton J^. inside of the shed ehouldCdiS'.^ into widths to accommodate * > J»il» likewise into tiers, en ß £« enough apart to allow th e e y? Sfo from, well separate. When , ? toW up, beginning at ft? ?"H2 tho shed, slip on M Y« the other until the whl -th «C Thepoles.houldbeabouSh^M „ t>art. The number of plant» upC n each pole greatly depend,! S si £_.some twenty to' tSi«K safely W hun K. they being co "l) ,>! when thor^h'y wilted they »jftS each other, *.% 'f hung thicker» little unfavourh. blf wathet wiuZj3« to sweat or mom.*. They ehonuTr 11 weU off the groan,.', and suaS6^ left betwixt the lower i*iers for thi ij** to pass through the rows. As ft JS» from 700 to 800 sticks oi K*Z to fill a shed or barn '»«%£ square, placing the sticks aboaVtf to eacb farm will answer thuZTT provision should be mode for reS*, every fourth weather-board toWT open on hinges, which.can. d£S,' when necessary; large double d2f dispensable at each end of tha t»ta_ and galvanised gable roofs mortS The floor to bo raised slightlyabor?S level of the ground, and boanlZ? tobacco is thereby kept hnbmtgZ or dirt. Care must be taken to EX joipts and tiers supporting tkill! sufficiently strong, as the tobaccoS very heavy m its green state, aS prevented, it possible, fremfai«B»2 wise getting broken. BiuiduW burning, frost-biting, etc* SB show in tho green state,'' W|SI cured they come out in bold relief. iS Hi the tobacco is hung, the buildh»tyaH so thoroughly ventilated that ttarfflL M a circulation of air through erert^H The ventilators should be keptopeiduwH all fair weather, until well corai foJM During storms shut the doom andtnul as much wet as possible, beingcajlbukE give it a thorough ventilation againmJi as the rain ceases. When it'liiuH enough to be husky in dry weatber HtMllS all hard windß, which will crack^i damage the leaves. When the Ifjntl co much cured that there is nottWmHf about them but the stemc, a maffl quantity of wet weather will ootftfl thorn, but rather improve the colour, ujH| sap of the stalk works through tin'faßJ into tho leaves, during moist ffealksiH tho stalk has become thoroughly kaRI When tho leaves are quite dry, tudtb^Hp becomes brown and will snap vldfaHi tho tobacco is ready to be stripped. faHj era cannot be too careful in attentoißJj tobacco when curing. If a lfebtqgibJH Virginia—golden colour—is uesirei, tjH§ is highly essential, a? well as reiiipS while tho curing process is bobecottttHß Most planters will haveobserrediwitßS brighter this class of tobacco caittKtißS windows and doors to whatitdcßMiiMi centre or in tho dark corners of tie i'HB The greatest danger to be appnUHw when drying the tobacco is that tafuijßH called " pole burning." TMsisiitafyiHij thing more than a partial decMpoiilhiHß tho leaf, consequent upon tl« jiißß of tho air from passing taiw{ilK': while in tho green state, which da^ia^p' quality and texture, and when driHSjKj| a blackish-brown colour, and cmaHß beneath tho touch. Should tlit ißnrai remain damp for any lengtlaa)?flte charcoal fires should be started, fa l'iff be allowed to go through ;'it«;jtoi|||§ evonly as possible, and to toleptitKiH average of ninety degi^ ?,AW&iif a barn which is set too <Mg^& built is tho best forMltiff:fofaim>»tt' every farmer should prmftkWAdfflK least one closely wcathet-koii4«4taiM,iiH«i which he collects his tbtatt.ocwdlHp wot and stormy season, ' JHf

Who are the Ten Greatest Living Englishmen?

The " Tall Mall Gazette"S6t«llf«WH a prize of £10 for a list of , living Englishmen. The coat# b «^p been decided by a committeeofji^^B; the prize has been given to named the ton Englishman vtowHi the greatest number of vota tow^Bj who competed. In all 1,450 Wtfegß; were sent in. Mr Gkdst^iMiK^B from tho list of statesmen,udtlewwß-; is the voting paper to wJiit^tllF'M-' been given:— . HI. 1. English Statesman (iftet Kl(B|' tsono) - Lord Salisbury, 388.. 2. Journalist- GeorgeAcgaetowWH 3. Painter -J. E. Mii!als,Bli ' WM 4. Soldier-Lord Woleeley, m JH 5. Man of Science-ProfwrEi^iW 6. Writer-John Ruskin, m&. Hf 7. Noveiiet—Wilkie ColinW ■" 8. Preacher—Canon Liddoii,w9.; -Mfcy 9. Actor—Henry Irving, I$K ■ 10. Humbug-The Claimant, «■« Among statesmen, Mr Co'fjjjffijß ceived the greatest numborfflfSSM Lord Salisbury, and «to"ij« Bright. Lord Churchill ewfcgJWj votes: in the class of j°HrDal*rl,jM Sala, who had 83S votes, came**^g with 141 votes, and the editor ol W MB Mall Gszetts " with 75. Mr,^QMt received one vote as an eminent FJB». Among soldiers, General Qf*Z3M{ the greatest support nextto "W'^KB- In the class of ,«nten^jß^ ately after Rufta .^VjiM Tennyson, Mr Froude, W|*K Arnold. In the Preache"^sfl3Bl' followed next to Canon W^MV only Scotch divine/ h°™Sw«i was Principal Caird. Mr! jlfp» votes as ominent actor, ■Dot .« " Humbugs " is tto.loi*J*gyM; the Claimant with his 4M SM Wilde with 230, General B« K» and Lord K. Churchill with!« g» stone also appears in the WWfa A with u votes, vbi]? lo£jg%mm Mr Bradlaugh 37, Mr W» J^W bouchere 22; Mr A. Bart ««19'^«| 17, and Lord Colebndg* f others named in the Intf^B W. Lawson, the editor o' Gazette," Mr Bigear, &r J*■£)■! Henry George, Martin Tap^ffW and Sir S. Northcote. |gp

Telegraph lines in China.

The most recent link tottj!Sß telegraph lines which in «P"»""L M rapidity over China is ttel" j|M, Shanghai to Canton. AllDS'^ JH ; Tientsin was opened * .. rf 4B ago, and tho capital of W p OR. nected directly with &•?**,Jl capital of Southern Cto»%6*« metropolis in the »«* jf £»» put in communication b/Jp« the frontier of Tonqum i* ***• the present political district, the tol^ raPl\S|ii*» unbroken line from ™™ mIW « to the most M^JSfAfflß- Chinese Empire, and » mes*B^ MW London or Pekin »s*'V'M quarters of the P^mSm Tonquin frontier in iftj»»« arrival of vessels °X e^sWffiffl The next «mP°rtan^%***JM Chinese Government "''^.iflH uniting rekin «tb t^^M linos across Siberia «£» .tf«W have to cross the whole >*&s* will give the alternative telogMPh^gflK matter to *"!S.>M is believed to be <f%^m already pointed out, U^Wf development is due »W ■~ , ■* 6idcrations.-"Natar«_^ I

THE AUCKLAND BVENUNU STAK. SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 1886

4



Nearly all the comic operas which are produced in London have previously had a successful ruiion the Paris stage. It is rather curious, therefore, to note that Planquette's "Bip Van Winkle" was produced at the Folios Diamatiques for the first time a few nights ago. When this opera bouft'o was first written, no Parisian manager, despito the success of " Los Cloches do Corneville," could be found to run the risk of producing it;; and co Mr Henderson can congratulate himself on being one of the few English managers who have bought a foreign com position at a low liguie, and resold it to the land of its birth at a considerable profit — "Truth." *



Wise For,T.Y.-"For ton years my wire was confined to her tea with such a complication of niln ents that no doctor could 101 l what was the matter or cure her, and I used up a small for tune In humbug sniff. Six months ago I saw M 1 tXT™ S% wlts llop "it'erson it, ami I thought I would be a fool once more. I tried it, but my folly proved to bo wisdom. Two bottles cured her, sho is now aa well and strong aa any H"OT2MS?fiS? SLS?' two dollara'' " ROUGH ON CORNS."-Aik «« weiiA "Bonk on > norm." Quick nlief, romHete, pennuent cuio. Corns, s.»rt», i , *>,-', Kemcthoinß. Prewar k c*,. -LtuiU, AuckUnd. '



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