RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiel.]

p*ome write, a neighbour's name to lash, Seme write—vain thought!—for needful cash, Some write to please tho country clash, And raise a din. For ms, an aim I never fush— I write for fun.

Akk the ladies of Auckland aware that this is Leap Year ? I ask the question because tho fair sox of this favoured city make no sign that they are alive to tbo peculiar privileges of tho season. In this respect they are far behind their sisters in the South ; for it is now about a month sinco the ladies of Dunedin held a " Leap Year Ball." Lost the feminine population of Auckland should be so far behind the ago ns not to know what that means, I hasten to explain that at tho Leap Year Ball referred to the ladies issued the invita tions, solicited dances, treated their beaux, &c. —in short, in the words of a newspaper report, "the position of the sexes was exactly reversed;" and the whole thing, wo are further told, " was carried out with unvarying consistency !" I suppose thoro would bo a Mistress of Coremonies, and that the ladies of the committeo, in issuing the invitations, took caro to socino a pre ponderance of the opposite sox, so that thoy might enjoy tho ..poctnelo of a lot of languish ing male "wallflowers" debarred from partners. I opino also that tho ladies would employ all the seductive arts of tho "masher," and that the gentlemen, in their character of coy damsels, would consume a fearful quantity of sweets, ice cream, anil chocolate at tho solicitation of their part tiers. But tho most interesting part of tho pro gramme would only begin when the ball programme onded — when " l.oger do Coverley " had been danced, and tho ladies would have to act as escorts to their guests. lean imagine the pretty creatures hovering around their charges as they put on their wraps, offering their arms to lead them to the cabs they had called, whispering airy nothings in thoir ears as they sped along, and, perchance, before reaching their des tination, popping the momentous question. Many young men do such things as these after a ball, and if the changing of places on the part of these Dunedinitos was carried out consistently, thero must have been not a few declarationsoflovennd eternal constancy on the way homo from the Leap Year Ball.

Why should not the Indies of this ,ity get up a Leap Year Ball, and try a little game at " Vice Versa?" t'orb.ps the bachelors of Auckland are too old birds to be caught, with such chaff ; but 1 scarcely think they would be so tingallant as to decline invita tions properly made by a coterie of charming young ladies. Our t--hionabloynir.g men pride themselves on their powers of resist ance as much as on their " mashing " quali ties, and would be sure to go, if only out of bravado. It is not yet too late for the ladies to tako up this matter, and I hope some spirited few will move in the direction indicated. An American newspaper has gone a step furthor than was ever before at tempted, by publishing a " Leap Year Re gister," viz., a list of all eligible bachelors in the city. Tho jolly dogs of the town provide descriptions of themselves for this register, and tbo ladies aro supplied with reliable data as to tho income, prospects, _c., of thoso to whom thoy might offer their hand, and from whom, in tho event of being rejected, they are entitled to claim a new dress. It must not bo forgotten that thero are many bash ful young men who are constantly crying, in the words of tho song, " Why Don't the Girls Propose ?" and in Leap Year especially they are entitled to ask tho question sadly and reproachfully. A medical man wrote recently that girls are not constituted for jumping ; but as they are usually ready enough to jump at an offer of marriage or anything leading to it, I hope thoy will leap at my suggestion for a Leap Year Ball!

I am assured on the best authority that nearly one-half the people who witnessed the Bicycle Sports in the Domain Cricket, ground on Easter Monday "deadheaded the concern." In plain terms, they stood upon their rights, refused to pay the moderate admission fee, and pressed into the enclosure. Now, I have not tho slight est scintilla of sympathy with the preten sions of cricketing, football, and other coteries to an exclusive right to this portion of the Domain on set occasions by virtue of their expenditure of money upon it ; but, at the samo time, I have no hesitation in characterising as barefaced meanness the conduct of people who, under the miserable subterfuge of asserting their rights, will seek to evade a moderate levy in return for the amusement they wish to enjoy. In this case there was not the shadow of a principle at stake. The gate-keepers candidly admitted that they could not enforce payment, but they put it to the honour of the applicants for admission whether the sport they had come to see was not worth the modest ex penditure of a Colonial Robert. To their shame, be it said, that the majority of these recusants, while coolly confessing that they had been attracted thither by the advertised sports, stood to their resolve to see them on what is colloquially known as the " never " principle.

It was a characteristic feature of this churlish and contemptible policy that tho people who " tried it on" were of the class best able to pay—the artisan and working classes, with a manly British sense of fair play, cheerfully paying their way. The ringleaders then as before were men who hold official positions in the community, and whose behaviour on this occasion was quite consistent with their usual practice. One of them marched up in the company of a bevy of ladies, and with an assumption of hauteur that ill became him, proceeded to denounce the impositions of cricketers and 'cyclists before passing gratuitously in. Another " high and mighty " in society circles, also attended by three or four ladies, claimed the" entree on the ground that he was a trustee of the Domain, and therefore relieved from payment. This plea, however, was not entertained by the sturdy seneschal of the gate, and then the official took refuge within his rights as " one of tho public who owned the Domain," and so forced a passage through. Among these ignoble gentry were also groups of well dressed young fellows whose sense of chivalry must be in the undeveloped embryo stage if it exists at all. Parsimony is not a characteristic of youth, but there are young sneaks as well as old ones, unfor tunately. Another section of the non payers were too timorous and shamefaced to brazen tho matter out with the gate keepers, but they scrupled not to skulk about the remoter parts of the enclosure, and to s .ale the wall when thoy thought themaelve. unobserved.

It may be argued, of course, that no section of the public have a right to take possession of any part of the Domain and demand a price for admission to it, and

that is quite true. But no right was set up ! What vnw dono was simply this : A Club of young fellows went to the expense and trouble of organising a programme of competitive athletic sports, and very properly sought to recoup their outlay by inviting the public to pay a small fee for the privilege of witnessing the spectacles they bad provided. It is a notorious fact that very few people take the trouble to go to the Cricket Ground on ordinary occasions, but when there is anything to bo seen there in the shape of athletic contests they are at tracted thither, of course ; and first and foremost among them tho potty-souled patriots who save their pockets on the flimsy pretence of safeguarding inalienable rights. As a leading lawyer indignantly remarked the other day, tho only effectual way of teaching these people to make .somo show of manliness anil honourable conduct will be to post up ov advertise tho names of thnso who invariably refuse to pay on the fow special occasions on which a charge is made for ad mission. If they have no objection to the perpetration of these meannesses, thoy should not blush to lot tho people know of their high-toned patriotism. Whilo they do this, lot our athletes also combine to secure a ground of their own, for this will prove a necessity in the long run.

A couple of anecdotes of "mean men" may bo culled from tho papors of other parts of tho colony, to show that tho genus is not likely to boconio extinct. The first has reference fo a "high" art performer, known ns the Australian Blondin, who is, or lately was, performing in Auckland, lie gave an exhibition at I'atea, anil induced a number of lads to "go round with the hat " by promising them 10 per cent, of the gross collection. There was a liberal shower of "dollars," but when it came lo squaring up, they only got the sum of isixpence each ! Nor was tins all. A plucky litrlo fel low, tempted by Ihe oiler of ten shillings, agreed lo be carried on tire performer's back across Iho rope, anil was so carried at the risk of bis lito. Ho was told to " call in tbo afternoon " for- the pro mised reward, but before the appointed lime " Illiin.lin " bail slid. If ho ever- goes back to I'atea, there is a likelihood of a splendid rope exhibition, in which liloinlin will got a ropo's end in liberal measure.

Tho other story refers to a certain " Wizard " from tho " north coiintrec," and though he seems to have been guilty of a lil tie parsimony, I scarcely think the epi thet moan is fairly applied to him. I lo had boon doing excellent business at Oamaru,and bad "tricked" about 1.100 out of tlie pockets of the denizens of that.tony region. A local magnate thinking this a good chanco for se curing a little aid to the Hospital, waited upon the " professor " at bis inn, nn! preferred a request for a donation. The man of legerdemain seul his wife to negotiate lire de.ionte business, and this is what look place: "Would four m-live. iillingsd r':".asked the lad v. " D.i?" responded the applicant, "Itin It inch. Auxijiis as I am to see ono of our most humane institution, tlonnsh, 1 could not even think of boing a parly to such a .sacrifice. lou would ruin yourselves by bestowing such a munificent sum out of the paltry hundred or so which tbe public of Oamaru have given you. Good day " From these facts Iho local paper lectures tho magician _>•• meanness ; but it i.- evident every '* proie .or " is not a Holloway, arrd it is wrong r > look for sneii being tin. ease. The great pil '.inn mode a princely i utmio from fools, ail., iv bestow..:, ii upon idiots ; does it therefore follow ttint the modern "wizard," having made a hundred pounds by "gammoning the llats" of o:.m:>.ru, should scatter it among the halt and the lame? Ho knows a " trick " worth two of that evidently.

Whilo spending a leisure hour in tho Supremo Court tho other day I found thai Mr Justice Gillies is not disposed to allow the Maori race to be traduced. A legal stripling, who was engaged in defending a prisoner charged with swindliog an unsuspect.ng Maori out of the proceeds ol a telegraph money order, received a lesson on this head that materially tended to tone down tho exuberance ot bis verbosity. In the course of an ad •■ap/antluui atldr. s., tending to discredit the case for tbe prosecution. Hie youthful tvi« a,..1 K uwn i. marked : "It is a .ell-known fact, gentle mon, that the Maoris, as a race, are very much addicted to lying," whereupon His Honor at once interposed with the rebuke that the gentleman had no right thus to libel a raco who were certainly us truthful as any European people. He wished to know what authority tbe counsel foi- the de fence had for his unwarrantable statement, Thus challenged, tlieyouuglawyerpioinpUv retorted that many eminent writers whom he had read asserted it as a fact. His Honor replied that in all his rending con corning tho Maoris ho had never met. with such a calumny, and oven if ho had bis own experience of them would disproveit. Rather abashed, tho advocate rejoined that the best ethnologists laid it down as it general truth that whenever an inferior- rue-, uomes into contact with a superior oi v, tire former invariably resort to craft, and subtlety. His Honor replied severely r ■■;._ ethnological writers were not an authority in that Court, and with this clincher the matter ended.

As one who has very frequently listened to the evidence of Maori witnesses on oath, I must confess my inclination to endorse the Judge's statement. In moro than one respect the average Maori witness throws hisaveragepale-faced brothercomplotely in to tho shade. Generally, he tolls a consistent and truthful story, and he certainly answers far more clearly and straightforwardly the categorical questions put to him by tbe ex amining counsel. Europeans, on the con trary, very often seem unable to compre hend the drift of a direct question, whilo tho Scotchman, in particular, has a pro verbial faculty for fencing a question by asking another.

In connection with this it may bo men tioned that, at the same fitting of tho Court alluded to above, another Maori bore unconscious testimony to the fact that tho out-settlers succeed in impregnating the native mind with a wide knowledge of Anglo-Saxon profanity before teaching them anything else. The aboriginal under notice had charged a European with shoot ing his horse, and, although unacquainted with the English language, stated in the course of his evidence that the prisoner had told him to go to —. When asked by the cross-examining barrister if he had not previously called out to the prisoner, "Stop ! Don't shoot my horse," the Maori, in evident surprise, answered in his own tongue that he could not possibly have said so, as ho was unable to utter such words. " Then," retorted the learned counsel, "how can you manage to say and to understand 'Go to—' ?" The Maori, with a smile of amusement at the idea that he should be ignorant of such a cosmopolitan objurga tion, readily replied, "Oh, of course, I understand that much English !" Where are the missionaries ?

Mr John Marie Grace writes to me that the story about a supposed dispute between his late father and some man named McCormick has probably been put up

by some " malicious, un truthful gascon of an old colonist." That it cannot be true he thinks is conclusively proved by tiro tacts that his father, so far from being an ilitorate man, had in youth been apprenticed to Mr Ilynos, a veterinary surgeon, and was afterwards manager of I hat gentleman's horse bazaar at Watorford •, that, he had boon mtiteof a brig, and wasengagctl as store buyer under Mr Urar, Sui'voyoi'-Gonoial of New Zealand, in all of which capacities be kept accounts. .Subsequently he managed his own books in connection wilb an ex tensive carting business, which, with other writings, are now in iho possession of my correspondent. Mr .1. T. lioylnn writes to the same ell'ect; ho "had business trans actions with Mr- I'race for many yoirs, and received many accounts in bis own handwriting." I think it only fair to mention these facts, which dispose of the sto*y. I retailed il, as it was lold to mc, but my informant has evidently got info a confusion of names, and, like Buttercup with those babies, has somehow mixed things up.

Tho most novel feature of the Ponsonby Regatta was furnished by a young limb of the law anil an amiable hoifilogiogrnphor, who, while not eschewing tho company of tho fair sox, have managed, by judiciously dividing thoir favours, t" keep themselves clear of the matrimonial net. These adroit younggontlomon were boing rowed aboul tho harbour in state by nine "fair love-sick maidens." Kimtliui-no, in all his glory, novel attained to anything co exquisitely all but. A seraphic smile illumined the intellectual brows of these favourites of fortune as they calmly locliiied on their seats and meditated sonnets to the transooudontally beautiful. The performance was watched with a melan choly anil envious admiration by various forlorn bachelors aboard tho flagship, who were emphatically ami unanimously ni opinion that this sort of monopoly is quite too-tooey, The more experienced, however, who havo nccn lire hollowness of such joys, could not avoid a sardonic grin as Ihey thought prophetically of the retribution 'to como, when these little delusive exhibitions of stibmissiveness to tbe "lords of creation " shall have done their perfect work, and their deluded reci pients ;shall bo awakened to the realities of Ihe midnight wail and tho implacable domain 1 for tho replenished feeding-bottle.

Several well-moaning citizens have in augurated a Young Men's Anti-Kmokiinr Association al the In-dilute, Wellesley street, and in order lo give to it, a kind of guarantee of iiccc.ily and advantage to youth, have induced two medical gentlemen te become honorary members. Tho promoters are itilly persuaded that tho habit of smoking is injurious lo .sound health, and productive of artificial thirst. Over- indul gence in any habit: is prejudicial lo Ihe physical sy .loin, but smoking, save in a few in. .ances, does no! create artificial thirst, bill mi tho other hand tends to allay (hirst. Mmy medical run recommend Ihe temperate use of tobacco, and there is little doubt but that a moderate use of the "fragrant weed," under certain circum stances, is beneficial: but whon used to excess, as by Spaniards and Turks, tobacco exercises a baneful inllucnco, and is destructive of facial beauty. A prodig'ous smoker soon loses ruddi ness of complexion, and inclines towards laziness. Seine literary men, es pecially Byron and Charles Lamb, and in his early days. Tennyson (I cannot think of the poet as "My Lord "j, wero inveterate -mokers. Byron avowed that his most beautiful idea* were conceived with a pipe in bis mouth : iv fact, he could not com pose without his yard of clay. Charles Lamb, however, threw his comforter asitlo as a deleterious enemy that should be religiously avoided, ami wrote an elegy upon his silent companion. Smoking may not be destructive of life, but it may pro-

dtice lassitude of mind and body. A simple headstone in Daitford Churchyard, Kent, lolls a brief story irr favour of smoking:-.

"John Gibson, aged 100, retained hi faculties to the last. He was inucii attached to smoking, and in accord :ince with hi. expressed wish his pipe was placed in bis coffin. /_••/«/._■"/ ,-t ...■.-.-." ( '.insidciiiig that every phase of Auckland society has ils representative in

..il-.ui ■;:., J :.i_ not Burpri. __1 tit the est.ib i-hnienl of an Anfi Smoking Association specially when thousands of youths, ill

eluding tbo inglorious army of larrikins, prowl about the streets of this city with pavement* te the disgust of decern (oik. Dr. Dlooiu.'ie'.u's little pamphlet o. •' Tol .teco ; its Nature an. Propciiics." which the Sccrclary di.stribiUes ::ra!i-i tously, cord .ins many serviceable Inuts i i young men, and is. ivi;:r:il, a powerful pro test against Lbe habit oi sluuking. xxx Those young lovers who make :r p notice of studying rclronoiny iv i:h. .. • of two, with the Domain for an on., rv,-. wy, are. loud in their complaints oonccriiiii'.. tli-.* action of persons who dog their foonlep: and not luifrcquently demand blackmail oi C')ii()les quite iiinoeeut of all thought oi guile. "/amiul" is acquaiiited with it Cupid and Psyche who have not spooned In the Domain since ono beautiful uioonli .Iri, night, twelve months ago, and tkis is bow it was : They sat beneath a giant pollute kawa, and the moonbeams darting through tbo branches cast a delicate net-work of light and shade on tho perfume-breathing sward. Cupid had just, offered to endew his loved ono with half his wordly pos sessions, and Psyche had blushingly given vent to the stereotyped "Ask papa," when the twain wore startled by a rustling in the undergrowth behind them, and the unmistakable rattling of a chain. Simul taneously with affrighted baste they turned and tho marrow froze in their bones as they perceived by the uncertain light a man of hideous form, with a few links of an iron chain depending from his neck. Psyche yelled out "Mar," and Cupid rose and was preparing to seek safety in flight, when the terrible object emitted a mournful cry, and with one gigantic bound, disappeared from sight. Cupid and Psyche do not know to this day how they reached Stanley-street, and tho perturbation con cerning the horrid apparition did not leave them till they discovered that a pet baboon kept by a resident of Mechanics' Bay oc cassionally broke his chain and ranged tho leafy recesses of the Domain.

Major Atkinson, speaking at Hawera last week, promised that Government would inquire into the working of the totalisator, and Superintendent Thomson, of Auckland, has this week thought it expedient for the police to inquire into the doings of ono of the instruments at Ellerslie racecourse. There would seem to have been something particularly "crooked" about the "run ning" of one of tbe " machines" at the races on Easter Monday and Tuesday. Ido not propose to enter into the merits of the local totalisator dispute. The tergiversations of the machine may bo daringly criminal, or they may be only the result of carelessness or stuoidity, or dofective construction ; but it seems plain that, though the attack on the legal gambling apparatus was pro voked by another cause, the popular wrath recognised something culpable in its former incorrect " totalisating." What I cannot help remarking is the promptitude with

which executive action has followed upon legislative intention. The Premier merely indicates, irr reply to a ques tion, that he disapproves of "any public recognition of gambling," and lo ! within .week, the Auckland police are pouncinguponthemaehino.Of course Imay bo told That thero is no connection between tho two circumstances ; but, as one who likes to invest a pound occasionally in the hitherto impartial apparatus, 1 cannot help thinking that there is n "down" upon gambling, and that Major Atkinson having mado people econo mical in other respects, is now bent upon curtailing their expenditure on enjoyment, and making thorn severely moral. With his great financial genius, especially in the direction of "milking" a patient public, I wonder bo docs not propose to impose a tax of say 10 per cent, on all totalisator draw ings. In this way he might relieve his "tightness of chest" without any move "piiblte recognition of gambling" than prevails at present. A very palpable advan tage would be that the "machine" being worked under Government supervision, would be taught to " totalisato " correctly, and public dissatisfaction would be allayed

The sequel to the .story of domestic com plications which was recently told in those columns is nllonled by the Monckton prose cution at Wellington. II will bo remem bered thai after lire girl's return from Sydney irr the liai-ls of I be police, sho pro ceeded South under (ho care of her sister. II was considered at the timo that she w.-.s repentant, but appearances were again deceptive. When tbe couple reached Wellington, the younger girl managed to give her sister the slip, antl once finding herself free, instituted lire present proceedings. The local police smile sceptically at the prosecutor's statement that her sister tried lo compel her to heroine a prostitute, nnd are decidedly of opinion thai the assertion should be taken cunt tjrano sails. + + .- Few positions could be more em barrassing than that in which a respected young friend of niino was placed the other day. Ho formed one of a party of ex cursionists lo Riverhead on Good Friday. and Ihe attractions of Ihe place made such an impression upon bis susceptiblo nature thai ho was loth to leave. The warn ing notes of tho steamer's whistle betokening hei intending departure rounded while be was deeply immersed in the delights of a farewell glass at the local hostelry. His " go-as-yotl please" to tbo lauding was done nt high pressure, but for once in his life my friend was too late. Tbe

steamer bad gono without him. However grieved in spirit he might have felt at having missed the opportunity of a trip home with so large an assemblage of charm ing t.'ood Templar-esses, lire weight of a nunc terrible calamity was destined to fall upon him. Diving' bis bands into the pockets of bis nether garments he was iiiiirmcil to discover that the utmost extent of his financial resources was four coppers. His position was not by any means an envirblo one—a stranger in a strange land, and without money. There was no other steamer to town that night, and only two alternatives presented themselves to him : on the one hand lie might walk to town, a distance of twenty-live miles, while on the other ho could lay bis unfortunate position before the hotelkeeper, and seek a lodging on the premise of future payment. My friend's pedal extremities are noi lo be despised, but twenty-live miles of solid walking was a prospect too terrible to contemplate. Therefore, relying upon the open, ingenious counten ance of which he boasts, he presented him self to the landlord, pleaded bis poverty, and was taken in antl cared for. Similar kind treatment at Ihe hands of the master of the Blanche enabled my young friend to reach town on the following morning; but, he vows that for tbe future he will never go holiday-making without first mv] in_ ample financial provision in tho even, of similar unforeseen contingencies that may arise.

A branch of the New Zealand Seamen's Union having been established here, I have endeavoured to ascertain its objects antl ;,o. ..ible results. Tho Society, it appears, in comprised of all classes of seamen sailing out of iho colonies, vi,-.., officers, •arpenters, iircinen, coal-trimmers, cooks, stewards, and seamen of all grades, banded together " to maintain such wages as .-ball from time to timo be fixed as the lair equivalent for their k,hour,.-u. I ;.u i he .ene.nl protection ol Ihe i i.id.,- ami in;, icsts.u seamen.their well beie ; socially .-md morally.'' The member* tire bourn: |, v certain rules, in whioh. am..iv:.-- o!hei* Hiiiigs, ii is stipulated that they ■; •' on I,\ '.tea j.t oi 'employment under certain com, di,.ii - aa. aril- wiv.-es, for in stance shall !_■ ... .;:: ■by, no i ocietv. Kieoi: ii un. r.j c •", -.•' .■i .• lawful day's work i,; a . }■ >ri,-. -.nd ■ : oM. -ads, and any nicmoei .«>■; in- tlri- uio is liable lo la oxpoll.:.i i an.l it'i.-i ...piii -.1 "thai no .aiior shall La,,- :.ee,!.,;■( , . v,,.,-l. in tlrcced .eel's tleparlme... Un!...: '■•■ has obtained bis dis ci, argo al the .in I oorl, and vice, cr,.,, " Tbo breaking of ihi- rule is te be followed by a lino of 11. Jn event of any number oi' members being on strike, they arc allowed support from Ihe funds of the Union, and also in cases of sickness. Theso appear to me very similar to the rules which usually govern protection societies, and are no doubt of great assist aneo to " our tars ;" but how fur shipmates will go to receive them favourably is quite a different, matter, and presents a difficulty. It is asserted, however, by the Secretary of the Union that in the South they have even received the thanks of employers of labour, so that if affairs can be carried out thus amicably, there seems no reason te object to tbe Union. There is one feature, however, which to many will be looked on as objec tionable, viz., that tho Union objects to members working with coloured seamen or foreigners, unless tho latter have become naturalised British subjects. John China men,of courscis excluded more particularly than all others. The Union is now in full swing at the principal New Zealand ports, and its ell'ucts for good or. evil will be no doubt, watched with interest.

Mormons, like other men, have their little troubles and weaknesses, and although their croed permits them to practise polygamy, it does happen that occasionally one of the brotherhood, even after he has taken unto himself a wife, experiences unusual difficulty in keeping her. It is a natural sequence, if some of the fraternity will monopolise two, three, or half-a-dozen of the opposite sex, that just now and again com petition for wives must become keen, and thus we hoar some unfortunate husband wailing, "She's gone away with Brigham Young a Mormonite to be." For several years past there has resided in Auckland a follower of the " Great Mahomet," who, with a wife and family, appealed to live very happily. But recently a Mormon brother paid a visit to the couple, and, quite unsuspected by tho husband, managed, with his " wheedlin' and botherin' ways," to steal away her affec tions, and ultimately the visitor and the good lady eloped by an outward-bound steamer. The husband, not to be outdone, applied for and was granted two months' leave of absence from a public body by which he

was employed, and ho is now in full chase after tho runaway couple, in hopes of con vincing bis unfaithful spouse that she has done °" exec .ling wrong," and in due course bring her back to her homo and bairns.

Somo queer stories are alloat in connec tion with the totalisator squabble at Ellerslie on Tuesday. It is openly asserted that a prominent police otlicer heightened the effect by bis appearance in a decidedly elevated condition, and by his most eccentric behaviour while under the inlloenee of wai /■era. Humour hath it that at one moment he threatened the crowd with the awful power at his command, nt tbe noxt ho pleaded with them to relieve him of the embarras sing consequences of a rebellion, that he called upon his half-dozen men to form squares and charge the enemy, that he be sought thorn to cull at his olticc in Hie morning anil receive their dividends, and in the next breath promised to shoot them down like rings if they did not disperse. All this time the multitude hooted and ridiculed him, pelted gravel at his noble form, and clamoured for their money. The story may bo true, or it may not, but there is no doubt that the police men present were placed in a very humiliating position, where the exorcise of a slight display of firmness and intelligence would havo prevented tho scene that occurred.

Doatli is (binning tbo ranks of English novelist.. of .minencc. Anthony Tiollope died a lev months ago, and now Charles Hemic 1 as followed him to the grave. Among the r.ivors are Wilkie Collins, It. I). DTnckh; , Itebort Buchanan, and (leorgo .McD.u.uld, but all these may be considered lo havo produced their best works, an.i ;• : it likely to add mttch to their reprrii'i n.- in the fir lure. There arc, in addition '.-iters who have written good novels -n.a '■ - which ha c bad an immense run .such a-' some of those of William Black antl .lames Payn, and it may bo a question whether the two last named ought not to be ranker! along with the four mentioned just above. If, to avoid controversy, I make this concession, there remain then six novelists of note and popularity ; but it is scarcely probable, arguing from analogy, that airy of them will publish anything superior' to what they have already pro duced. The s-plendour of their success may be brilliant, but its brightness will hardly be added to, and it may possibly diminish as time lulls on. The novel reader, there tore, scans Ihe horizon rather anxiously to try and pick out. tbe coming novelist who shall lake bis place among the great ones who have gone or are going, and raise the hour above mediocrity. He sees scores of writers approaching; but they are very much of a size. In the general crowd ho cannot distinguish any that overtop their fellows to such a degree as to be at once remarkable. They are for the most part pigmies whose stature does not reach tbe average standard. That standard is low enough, as all must admit. Out of the tliree or four hundred novels published every year, how many of them come up even to the requirements of the average leader, whose sole mental pabulum is the fiction of the circulating-library order? And bow many will bear reading twice ? Those which escape the butter man's limbo,and survive to the next season, may be counted on the fingers of one hand.

Another inquiry, or rather, anotherpart of the same question is, what will the coming novel be ? Will it run on old and familiar lines, or mark out a course for itself? Will sensationalism and realism have a new lease Df life, raised by a master hand from the debased environment te which they have sunk? Will ingenious storytelling, tho art of constructing an intricate plot as perfect as the movement of a watch, where each incident hangs on to and arises naturally out of what has preceded, will this art, I say, find a fresh exponent ? Wilkie Collins and Charles lteade have been the great master, of it. Before their day one of the most notable exemplars was Miss Jane Porter, who wrote " Thaddcus of Warsaw ' and " Scottish Chiefs." Thackeray lacked Ibis kind of skill altogether, and Dickens did not possess any remarkable share of it. The novel of locality - description has been greatly popularised of late years by William Black; but after all, there arc not very many who can go through, resolutely and without skipping, page after page of oigliellown descriptive narration full of superlatives, and often degenerating into i est at ie non.-onse. The scenes depicted may be lovely enough, but tho most skilled word-painter can scarcely hopo to make l hem sufficiently concrete and real to many besides those who are actually acquainted willi them. Then there is the character novel, which has been developing in all sorts of w.-.vs during the past decade. If '.:.••.-..' .;'o .' ' was not the originator of il- a! "-IV .'Mo she was the author who ie.de i:, .to,vers ally keo-.vn. In America il has :..':.-. deep rout lo all appearance, tlarpcr's M.v;azine :<<■ example, furnishes speeimei..- o. n;imc_m.. and varied cxpei'i in.iii.s... .[;'■ .ireciio,'. -ome of them read üb'eaiii. en c .: mc "■: .-: but most of them dull aire vi.i iiing. :'.. class of fiction is so likely '.■! becoii'C :-,:.;ious as character ilescripiio.i i.r the hand.-, of an incompetent artist. 1. i.< liaiifjerous r > cjnjure with the wand of •' George Eliot.

To return to lire starting point, " Who is the coming novelist,?" As it is proverbially risky to prophesy unless one knows, I will not pretend to give a definite answer. It may, however, bo possiblo to name half a dozen writers from any one of whom remarkable, and even phenom enal, fiction may reasonably be looked for. Take first Mr Laurence Oliph aut.the author of two novels " Piccadilly " and " Altiora Poto," as well as a volume of travels. The latter novel is composed solely of character painting; there is scarcely a line of place-description between tho covers. Mr Oliphant reminds one of Thackeray ; but the likeness is not very marked, and in one department of the art he is ahead of the older master, viz., in his female dramatis personae. " Altiora Peto " is to say the least a very striking book ;it shows its author capable of great things, and affords more than enough reason for the popularity which it has obtained in England. Another novel which recently made a sensation is ' John Inglosant," by J. H. Shorthouse. His next production of any pretensions will be looked for with more than ordinary curiosity. A daughter of Canon Kingsley has, within the last few months, made her debut as a novelist, writing under a norn de plume. Her first book has been received with favour by the reviewers. If the lady has inherited a goodly share of the talents of her father, she can hardly fail to make her mark on the time. Then there is Mr M arion Crawford, who has written several tales (e.g., " Mr Isaacs " " Dr Claudius" and "ToLeeward") withina very short period. His danger seems tobe that of writing too much, a pitfall by which many promising writers of fiction have come to untimely ends. One more novelist, and my list closes. The writer of "Vice Versa ; a Lesson to Fathers" achieved in that comical book an undoubted success, which he is trying to increase by some thing more ambitious iv character,

It remains to bo seen whether he will endure the blaze of popularity, and whether ho has that within him which will secure for him a lasting reputation. Here, then, aro five promising writers to choose from ; but it is very likely the '* coming man " has not been named.

GOSSIP FROM STAGE AND STUDIO.

[B\r EcTKRI'K.]

Mk Bland Holt has arrived safe and sound in England, and at tho latter end of January last, appeared at the Theatre Royal, Nor wich, as Fanfaronade to Ilia father's (Mr Clarence Holt) Bolphcgor. Both gentlemen were most enthusiastically received. Bland Holt comes direct from England to New- Zealand about July with some Drury Lane novelties. Mr .1. B. Howe, the well-known actor, was, at latest date, giving a series of dra matic recitals at different music halls in London. It is stated that, at the close of his present engagements, it is his intention to return to Australia, and that he will brin" with him several novelties, including "Clad Tiding.."

When Patti was first offered £120 for singing at an evening party in Paris it roused tire whole musical world; but long before that Mario had refused £200 for singing ono song at the entertainment of an importunate maiden lady, saying, "M. Mario could not for that price make up his mind to put on a dress-coat."

Mr.J. A. Froude will contribute a preface to a forthcoming work on the Irish Massacres of Hill. The volume will consist of a se lection from tho unpublished sworn depo sitions taken verbatim from the original MSS. in Trinity College Library, Dublin. Miss Mary Hickson bas written an intro duction. Messrs Longmans and Co. are the publishers.

Mr Sintha, a Hindu gentleman, has carried off from all his fellow-students of the Inns of Court in London the prize offered by the Council of Legal Education for such extensive and various subjects as Roman law, jurisprudence, constitutional law, and legal history.

Rumour has it that there is some thought of the Messrs Harper starting an English edition of their illustrated weekly—" Har per's Young People." The yearly sub scription in the United States is 1 dollar 50 cents. Possibly, in England, the journal may run witii the twopenny juvenile weekly papers.

" Fortunes Made in Business " is the title of an elaborate work of about 700 pages which is bung prepared for the press. It purposes to be a series of original sketches by various writers, selected from recent events in the history of industry and com merce, and will be mainly biographical and anecdotic.

Miss Jane Cowen, daughter of Mr Joseph Cowen, M.P., has a volume of sketches in the press, chiefly reprinted from the " New castle Chronicle." Mr Cowen himself has collected materials for a biography of the Newcastle poet John Cunningham, to whose memory he some years ago erected a stained-glass window in the parish church of St. John, in that town.

Professor W. G. Whitney will contribute the article on " Philology " to the new edi tion of the " Encyclopaedia Britannica," and Mr E. Maude Thompson the article on " Paheography."

Mr George Wright, the well-known "Congress Secretary" of the British Archaeological Association, has in the press a volume of "Local Lays and Legends," being a selection from some of his scattered compositions in prose and verse.

It is proposed (says the " Athemeum ") to erect a monument at Cambridge to Thomas Cray, the poet of the " Elegy in a Country Churchyard." This memorial is to take the form of a marble bust, to be placed in the hall of Pembroke College, opposite to Chantrey's bust of Pitt, and close to the corner where Gray was sitting when his fatal illness attacked him.

The "Memoirs" of Heine, written by himself, are about to be published in the " Gavtenlaube," though doubts have been cast by some on the authenticity of the autobiographical MS.

The finest poem which Mr Whittier has written for a long time will shortly appear in "Harper's Weekly." It is entitled "Banished," and is to accompany a beau tiful drawing by Mr Abbey, which repre sents a mournful group of Quakers driven from the Massachusetts shores by the perse cutors of 1600.

Under the title of " Journalistic Jumbles : or. Trippings in Type," Mr F. C. Williams will publish a collection of newspaper mis prints, collated and arranged. Mr Williams's experience extends beyond the mother country, he having been a judge in the West Indies and South Africa, and he is the newly appointed Judge of the Supreme Court of Mauritius.

How a Pigeon Made Love to a Bottle.

A white fantail pigeon lived with his family in a pigeon-house in our stable-yard. He and his wife had been brought originally from Sussex, and had lived, respected and admired, to see their children of the third generation, when he suddenly became the victim of the infatuation I am about to de scribe. ... No eccentricity was re marked in his conduct until one day I chanced to pick up somewhere in the garden a gingerbeer bottle of the ordinary brown stone description. I flung it in the yard, where it fell immediately below the pigeon house. That instant down flew pater familias, and to my no small astonishment commenced a series of genuflexions, evi dently doing homage to the bottle. Ho strutted round and round it, bowing and scraping and cooing and performing the most ludicrous antics I ever beheld on the part of an enamoured pigeon. .... Nor did he cease these performances until wo removed the bottle ; and, which proved that this singular aberration of instinct had become a fixed delusion, whenever the bottle was thrown or placed in the yard no matter whether it lay horizontally or was placed upright—the same ridiculous scene was enacted; at that moment the pigeon came flying down with quite as great alacrity as when his peas were thrown out for his dinner, to con tinue his antics as long as the bottle re mained there. Sometimes this would go on for hours, the other members of his family treating his movements with the most contemptuous indifference, and taking no notice whatever of the bottle. At last it became the regular amusement with which we entertained our visitors to see this erratic pigeon making love to the interest ing object of his affections, and it was an entertainment which never failed, through out that summer at least. Before next summer came round he was no more. — Letter from a lady, quoted in Romanes'is , "Evolution in Animals." /

Arranging a Burglary.

"TIfKKK have boon a good many bur_-lari_ of late Thomas," said -Mr Thoikon g * h was about: leaving the bank for the T* and I have been thinking it mi^ b. well if you remained here of ni. his for th present-especially as ono of the entran-!! ljcvs wmwsing, and may have gotten into

"Ihavc been thinking that same th.,, myself, sir," 'Ihomas answered. «l c '° he on the lounge there, you see, in the back office, quite comfortable like."

"And sleep through a dozen safe e_ plosions, most likely, and never lose » snore."

" Never fear, sir; the stirring of amove. wakes me.

" "Well, take this revolver, then ; I S . D . pose you kno.v how to use it ?"

Ihomas hoped he did ; hoped he hadn't been in the army without learning that much. And so Thomas was left on guard and the rich banker, who had outstayed all his clerks this evening, took his departure Mr Thornton was a wido.ver, having _| only son, whom he had set his heart on marrying to a ward of his, a young heiress whose fortune had lost nothing under hi. management, the fruits of which he would have been loth to see reaped by a stranger But Mary Burton had a will, as well as a heart of her own, and naturally felt that the former was entitled to some share in the disposal of the latter. She esteemed Edward Thornton, but she both loved and esteemed Lawrence Ridgeley; and that made a mighty difference. "As for the young men, they were both her-adorer, though Edward knew his suit was hopeless' and had long ceased to press it There was even a warm friendship between himself and his rival. They had been schoolmates and companions in the days when Lawrence Ridgeley's father was' a prosperous merchant, whose son was little likely ever to be under the necessity of earning his bread, as he was now doing, in the position of a hard-worked clerk in the banking-house of Abel Thornton.

That gentleman, we have said, had set his heart on the marriage of his son to his ward, and he was not slow in discovering that Lawrence Ridgeley was a serious im pediment to his plans—an impedimentwhich he would have gladly removed without being over scrupulous as to the means, for he was a hard and cruel man to those whom he con ceived to stand in his way.

Before Lawrence Ridgeley left the bank on the evening in question, he received directions from Mr Thornton to meet the latter in his library, after tea, to assist in the preparation of some foreign correspond ence to go out by next morning's mail. The young clerk was there at the ap pointed time. He wrote, at his employer', dictation, till a late hour, when it became necessary to the further progress of their work to consult some papers, which Mr Thornton remembered he had left on the desk in his private room at the bank. Ab there was no getting on without the absent papers, Ridgeley offered to go and bring them. Mr Thornton appeared pleased with his promptness, and apologised with un usual civility for accepting the offer.

Lawrence at once set out on his errand. He was waiting at a crossing for a cab, when Edward Thornton accosted him, "Which way so late?"

" I am going to the bank," said Lawrence, " for a package of papers which your father wishes to consult to-night." "Ah ! that reminds me of something I I will save you the trip, with your permission, I forgot a parcel there this afternoon, which I shall need in the morning; so, if you will tell me where the papers are to be found, I will do your errand and mine at the same time." ';

" But I could bring your parcel." "You would never be able to find it, or to know it if you did ; I'm the worst possible hand at descriptions and directions. So give me the door-key, and tell me where the papers are." " They are on your father's desk," said Lawrence, handing him the key ; and just then a cab was passing, which Edward hailed and entered.

Nearly an hour would be required to go to the bank and return, and Lawrence in finitely preferred a stroll in the bright moon light to passing the time in Mr Thornton's sombre company. All lovers are poetic. No wonder, then, that Lawrence Ridgeley walkedand dreamed away an hour before he had thought it well begun. But the striking of a clock re called him from his reverie, and he knew it was time to return to his employer, who, he feared, had already been kept waiting. Mr Thornton met him with a lowering and sinister look, in which a tinge of dis appointment was visible. "Well, have you brought the papers? You have taken your time, at least." "I have not been at the bank, sir. Edward " Mr Thornton's face was like marble.

"Edward! what of Edward?" he ex claimed, frantic with excitement. Lawrence briefly explained how it had "happened that Edward had gone to the bank in his .-.cad. Simple as was the re cital, the listener seemed paralysed at it. He clutched at the nearest object for support. Then recovering himself with a desperate effort, he rushed towards the door ; but before reaching it his steps were arrested by a violent ringing of the bell. " Great God l" he cried, " it is too late!" And he sank shivering into a seat, and covered his face with his bands.

Lawrence opened the door, and a stranger presented himself. " Can I see Mr Thornton ?" he inquired. Lawrence conducted him to his employer's presence. " I bring you sad news, Mr Thornton." But the messenger might have spared himself (he trouble of telling it. None knew better than Abel Thornton that the snare which he had spread for another's lifo had proved destructive to that of his child. He had intended that Lawrence Ridgeley, entering the bank at an unseason able hour, without knowing anyone was on watch, and consequently taking no care to announce himself, should be fired on and slain as a burglar. Everything had worked as lie had planned • but the victim was his own son.'

Insanity is a boon when it brings forget fulness of ills too grievous to be borne; but not such is the insanity of which now consigns Abel Thornton to a maniac's cell, Ghastly visions of his crime are ever pre sent to haunt his waking, and still more horribly to torment his sleeping hours.

Redingotes are in very great favour, and many polonaises are made in the redingote style, edged with plush or velvet. Redingote robings, open in front, nearly conceal the skirt, and above there is a small vertugadin puff ; the back drapery partly conceals this puff and forms two redingote robings towards the back these are very full in the centre, where they are guaged to the corsage. An exquisite model in this style is of brown cloth edged with grey marabout; the skirt is of brown broche, quite plain, and is very little seen from the length of the redingote ; each robing is edged with marabout, and the vertugadin puff and back drapery are guaged to the corsage ; a band of marabout trims the front of the corsage and encircles the neck —Lady's Letter from London.

THE AUCKLAND EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, APRIL 19, 1884

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