RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiul.]

e<oine write, a neighbour's name to lash, i'r.mo write—vaiul-liou^liM- foriimlfiilciißli rtmn: write to i>le;idc tin- coinilry fliisli, And raise a din. For iu<), an aim I never r.isli -1 write tor nm.

Little by little the plan of the proposed " Leap-year Kc-union" is being allowed to oozo out, but nobody appears to know who arc the active movers in getting it up. The proceeds are to bo devoted to charitable purposes, and from that fact, when taken in conjunction with the evident basis of tho affair, I conclude that tho ladies are at the bottom of it. They are showing great policy in the manner in -which they keep up the mystery, and from this I think the Auckland ladies must bo quite exceptional paragons in the way of keeping a secret. Lady reporters! have been tried by a ('hicago newspaper, and have been found wanting, for though they showed great ability in col lecting news, they had a .still greater apti tude for spreading the items all ov;r the town before tho paper got out. Our Leap year ladies, however, arc of another stamp. Furthermore, it is evident that they mean business. They have secured a promise that tho Registrar of Marriages shall be present at tho gathering, and they have also resolved to invite all the .Anglican clergymen of the city to be "on hand"; thus they will have both Lord anil the ser vants of tho Lord at their call if any " Leap year unions:) aro to bo consummated. The bachelors, I have no doubt, will look before they leap : but I anticipate that a good deal of fun Will be got out of their wrigglings in the hands of their fair captors, and their dodging to escape a "brief bissextile expo sition "' in the shape of a proposal of mar riago. xxx A rather good story is told by a well known Queen-street draper. Ho had been appealed to by an acquaintance for a little loan of £2, "just for three days, you know." The throo days ran into three months, but there was no sign. Assuming that the tritlo had been forgotten in tho multitude of business engrossments, the lender thought a gentle reminder expedient, and he sent his clerk round to jog the borrower's memory. Tho appeal was successful : soon afterwards the money and the debtor won; npon the scene. And now comes tho joke. In giving tho money the lender had not thought it worth while to ask lor any ac knowledgment, troating tho transaction entirely as one of obligation and personal honour ; but the borrower, though not punc tilious in keeping his dates, was the pink of correctness in tho matter of acknow ledgments from other people, and coolly demanded a receipt! Tho sum total of tho transaction was that having reposed entirely in ' his friend's honour in lending tho money without interest, the soft-goodsman had to swallow an implied distrust of his own integrity, ami place a Government stamp out of his private purse on tho transaction. I need scarcely add that all accounts between these linns have been summarily closed.

Messrs C. 0. Davis and T. B. Hill havo carried a temperance crusade into the heart of the King Country, ami report victory all along the lino. The natives hailed their advent with acclamation, and wrote their names down on the prohibitory memorial with all the readiness which their white brethren display when preferred a petition or testimonial on which there is nothing to pay. One would suppose from the reports of tho apostles that the Maoris were just bubbling over with tem peranco zeal, and tho wicked pakehas wore socking by insidious devices to force liquor down their throats. This picture is very pretty, and for the sake of the native race 1 wish it were true. Ask me if 1 believe it, and I am bound to reply, " Well, luudly !" I have a lively recollection of another petition to prohibit the sale of grog to King natives!—it was at the first What! whatihoo meeting, when Tawhiao had pro mised refreshment to all tho butchers and bakers and candlestick-makers of Auckland in return for thoir hospitality, and left thorn to pay thoir own board at the Alexandra hotels for throo weoks, waiting for him to begin his palaver. Tho Maoris gathered at the meeting had views about the grog ques tion, but these wore not of tho Blue Kibbon order. The consumption of whisky produced ono or two disagreoablo brawls. Mr C. 0. Davis, who was presont in tho township, felt grieved ;he appealed to the chiefs. They wore horrified and sympathetic : this demo ralising whisky must be stopped. To NgakauaccompaniedMr Davis to tho Armed Constabulary depot with the object of end ing the traliic, and upon their representa tions Mr Bryce telegraphed prohibiting the sale of liquor during the meeting, ffost Finch thereupon put down the bar .shutters and left the thirsty crowd, shivering and clamorous, outside: the weather was miser ably cold and wot.

And now for the sequel. Tho tippling went on—perhaps not quite so briskly as before, but there was a fair sprinkling of intoxicated natives about. Of course, the liquor all camo from distant townships— brought in by visitors ! That was the story, and it must have been true, because had not the mighty Bryce prohibited the sale? Howbeit, the crowd round tho shutter ■was pretty constant, and seemed to find some comfort if only in leaning against the barrier and dreaming of the nectar on the other side. One night Mr C. 0. Davis was engaged with a crowd of natives at tho far ena of a sitting-room, from which there was a bar entrance. From tho bar window, however, ho,could neither be seen nor see. The clamour around tho shutter continued unabated, and one deponent sayeth that the wall was not quite so solid as adamant, but that occasionally a small flap foil inwards ; a head was thrust through tho opening, and reappeared after an interval with a sublime look ot innocence imprinted upon every feature. Among the crowd on this occasion appeared the redoubtable Tc Ngakau, whose thundering knocks resounded high above the prevailing din. Mr Davis, unabloto soo what was going on, and unconscious that his brother pro hibitionist was the offender, called out: "We hear you, and when you get what you want we ehall send for the policeman and have you locked up." At the sound of tho familiar voice, Te Ngakau disappeared round the corner with an agility that was astoundinf in a man of twenty stone, and the other' Maoris, who] know who they had to thank for the stoppage of their supplies, chuckled. X X X The passion for drink among tho Maoris is so universal that we cannot doubt that it arises from some general causo in their mode of life and habits. It is also spon taneous, so that hereditary or national custom will not account for it. The explanation, however, is simple enough, and should be made a note of by temperance refonnors. Givo a European the poor food, insuflicent clothing, and bad house accom modation common among the Maoris, and then offer him a stiff glass of grog on a wot day. Sir Wilifred Lawson himself could scarcely resist the temptation to send a glow of warmth and comfort through his body if approached under such conditions. It would. be sheer stupidity to say that drunkenness may not proceed from an opposite condition—luxurious idleness—but tho truth remains that poverty and misery arc as often causes of intemperance as they are effects; tho two conditions act and react on each other, and before wo can ( restrain men from seeking a temporary oblivion from their cares in drunkenness, wo must make their conscious existence i happy,

During the week there havo been a Salva tion Army marriage and a Salvation Army funeral celebrated in the colony—the for mer at Auckland and the latter at Welling ton. The funeral would appear to have been conducted on strictly "military" principles --■ the big drum being chief mourner; but a new feature was tho j presence of a band of " hallelujah lasses," who, i suppose, Mould " add crlnl to the proceedings" oven more than the brass band. The marriage of one of a well-known Aiu'klander's daughters to Captain "Ted ' Wright is an auspicious event in the Army's history -. but thoro is just one point which I should like to havo elucidated in this con nection. My readers a vc aware that it is only a week or two since (he first anniver sary of the opening of tho Army's operations in Auckland was celebrated. Now, let us look at (Icnoral Booth's " Orders andKcgu tions" on tho subject of courtship and marriage. The ollicial publication says:— "None arc allowed to do any courting during thc.Ar.-tf 12 months. If at the end of that time any engagements are formed, in formation to this ctVecl must bo forwarded in confidence to tho (ioncrul-in-Cliiof, who, if ho approves, gives consent to such en gagement. iVo mtiniiu/r rim hike /'litre without the ivnst nt of liroil-i/uaHcra.'' Of conrso it's none of my business, but 1 would like to know, you know, how "Captain Ted" has got married in 'the face of these "Orders." As he has been only a twelvemonth here, has lie refrained from "courting" during all the time. lias he informed tho lleneral, "in confidence," of Ilia engagement ? And, most important of all, has ho got the con sent of "head-quarters,"' without which ho could not possibly get married '.' 1 suppose it's all (W)right, and perhaps the happy "Ted" got an " indulgence- or "dispen sation," for (ho Army organisation is based so much on Popish principles that 1 should not be surprised to learn that the granting of these is embraced in its practice. Any way, 1 wish the pair all kinds of happiness, and in due course a little army of thumping hallelujah babies (ot course with the con sent of " head-quarters.")

A batch of poetical ellitsions has been put into my hand, and loth though 1 am to do anything to cheek the growth of budding genius, honesty compels the confession that there is very little of the divine allla tu« in the whole lot. The best piece in the collection is an " In Memoriam " acros tic on the Duke of Albany, but though the merit of this is miflicicnt to save it from criticism, it fEUinot stay its march to the waste-paper basket. I'irges arc a druir in the poetical market, and so, for that, matter, are maudlin sentimental lines, such as a piece on " Iteeoncilialion " now before me. This, like the acrostic referred to, is tho work of ii lady, and I may quote a low linos to show tho style— A small wont spoken In tonesHincero ; A liiinil cliisj) Kiven ; A fallliiK tour; A ifluni-r from Die " .sorrowctl To " sorrowing one,'' Anil all is forgiven. All luiiral undone. x ;< :< A correspondent singing himself " A " sends verses without a title, which have for their burden the extinction of the Maori race by " our noble band." I ([note 11 lew verses to prove that " A " is very far from being an A 1 poet: — Trace memory* mind into those shades, Ami llnrt a noble stock; Tho uncienl M(i'<rl race are llioy, Whom noblu Britons mock. No lilies mark tin: luuul of limn. Hut lowly huts cl» stan.l, Anil Maori Imivca do pa™ the homo. Free from our wicked hand. Tho scene has chunked. No stately warriors slam!; '• Dead," but not from ilu> liaiiil of time. Uut from our nublu luuul. "Whore !' " wlieroi" are they, Tho noble, just. llipjjoorK done to Uiu happy htmtini; ground. And from the xrcontul wood. >: x x Lot ma close with the olfusion of an exe'ted "now chum" mi beholding a big flare-up. .His "poem" has a formidable title, as follows :— " My First Impression* of the Croat Conl'.agrati'on in Victoria-street Karly This Morning.—The ominous peals of tho various lire-alarms, and the barking of over 1,.~>00 dogs, with the conflagration, and all this, in the dead of night, to me, a new arrival in tho colony, seemed as if the day of wrath had already come over this lovely city. 1 were prompted then to writo tho following lines, hoping they may havo tho desired ollect." I cannot exactly say what the "'desired etlect" may be, but I fancy tho first half of the production will bo quite sutlicicnt for all purposes. Hero it is, and 1 leave it without further comment for tho reader's admiration :— Hark, hark, the <10<,'3 they bark The llrobells rin« aloud The liliiz.i Uflo hi;;h, into IhesLv ltiKlit above the excitu<l crowd. So, ye ilremcn hrave, who. life would save. Make haste unto the spot. The lire still raf;o, at every stasne And becomes Intensely ''01. xxx The mombers of the Auckland Con stabulary are not ignorant men, at least they aro not ignorant of reading and writing, and many of them are conversant with matters historical. There is not ono of the forco, I believe, incapable of writing his thoughts in a fair, round hand. A remark which fell from one of tho stoutest of them tho other day convinced mo that a know ledge of art was not foreign to a policeman, and that he may have the ability to draw in a manner which might invoke an art critique from that severest of all art critics, JohnKuskin, of Denmark Jfill. Tho remark convinced me that Constable X, or V if you like, can draw something more than an oliioial hand-cart. " Doesn't hljc look like Mary Queen of Scots languishing at Holyrood7" said tho man in blue. Tho comparison was not bad. There sat weeping on a stool "poor Amy," as a young sympathising lawyer termed her. There she sat, like Niobe, in tears. I should think that Amy was neither so well-proportioned nor so beautiful in feature, judging from pictures, as the unhappy Mary Stuart; still, I thought, there is at least a little resem blance between Ami,1 living and Mar// dead. Amy wrung her hands, and her tears (lowed fast as she sighed, "I'm so wretched; and if no kind Christian comes with £20 to my roscuo, I may never again sell cigars ; may never again uncork a bottle of ale, savo within the stone walls of a gaol." Amy had been subjected to a fine of £20 for dispens ing ale to a thirsty soul on payment of five shillings. Could Sterne havo witnessed weep ing Amy in tho police cell, his stern heart would have melted. Amy was almost faint ing as the shadows of night fell upon tho studio of Alfred J amos, when a smiling young man appeared at the ontranco door, and laid £20 upon the table, the price of Amy's liberty. Oh, ho was such a nice young man. Amy's feelings gave way, and 1 thought she would have died in the arms of her friend and deliverer.

A friend who lives and moves in that busy centre of commercial and intellectual activity—London to wit—has done mo tho favour to send me a copy of a publication entitled "Now Ideas for Thinkers: the Text Book for the '20th Century." lam much obliged to my friend ; but if the book he sends represents the high-water mark of intellectual advancement in tho modern Babylon, I can only say I rejoice that my lot is cast at the Antipodes. Anything that is good in "New Ideas" is of respectable antiquity, and such of it as is now is frivolous and worthless. Dating it forward to February, IUOI, tho editor makes an arrogant assumption of superiority in his modes of thought. I iind the brochure, is devoted to expounding a new religion, which is called " Comprohen aionism," tho basis of which is tho promo tion of spiritual growth and mental develop-

Mont by the aid of colour, form, and number. " Socially, this system advocates the nationalisation of the land, district

government, and general enfranchise- ' mont: personally, it places the human soid in soul-rencwmcntation ; and educa tionally, it is tho harmonious classilieation of ideas." lam bound to say, however, that f quite fail to trace these .social, per sonal, and educational aims in tho num ber before mo. The editor writes v long dia loguoovor a blunder in spoiling which ho had maclo, and it winds up thus :■—" B.—Well, it is certainly a now idea for an editor to as sort he cannot spell, but nearly the whole world is in the same boat with you, though the public will see your confession, and disregarding your now ideas, will answer you as the complainant of the trespassing pig was answered, ' Sir, I shall bo obliged if you would sty your pigg, who overruns my garden,' anil who received tho reply— ' Sir, 1 beg to acknowledge your letter, and to in Win you that pig is spelt with oneg.' " However, tilts solf-satisiied editor is con vinced that poor spelling is a aij;n of originality, and that little distinction, I suppose, must be conceded him.

As a sample of his " now ideas'' I cull the I'ollowinfjf on tho question of Space. The writor is arguing against the idea ot inlini tudo, and ho enya: —"l cannot think thin illimitation, bucaiiNO I nm a Comprohcn- Zionist, and ii ('omprohonsioniHt mentally stands on table tho Universe. You miiHl realise it, or you coulil not oomprohond it. Now, as. a ComprolioiisionLst realises tho Soul of tho Universes an Uio intelligence of tho Ktherealizcd, then this intolli^enco must cognate that which is an ever-con tinuanco of extension, and the ovor-non finuanoo is not tho progressivenoss of civ immforation, for that would Hiirrondor tho assortion, but tho over-continuance here moans that which intelligence even of Divinity cannot reach to, for how can you mipor -view that which has no limitI.'" If any man makes a determined etlbrl to understand this farrago of vorhiago, and does not hoeomo a howling maniac in the

attempt, 1 suppose he lias got tho_firnt de gree in Couiprehcnsioni.-m. The idea, as every reader knows, is as old as the hills ; but tho language in which it is clothed is certainly now. A t'oniprehcnsionist, I should think, not only stands "outside of tho universe,1' but is also palpably and pain fully outside of himself. This new religion, or philosophy, is intended to be adapted to the meanest understanding, and therefore we have Iho legend of "Tho House that

.lack lluilt" dished up in meaningless jar gon such as 1 have quoted. If I might oxpros.- my opinion, it would be that "New Ideas" is only lifted to bo the text book of an idiot asylum.

A good story is told at Ihe expense of a certain native commissioner in this pro vincial district, who has, amongst other qualifications for his otlicc, a reputation for gallantry. In taking the poiimw of the natives,"it is the practice to givo the names of fathers and mothers of nil half-castes living amongst the Maoris. Now, two of the enumerators in the commissioner." dis trict had a grudge against that ollicial, and they "took it out of him" by laying to his charge all tho half-Citato children in tho dis trict concerning whoso paternity there was any doubt. Old X. was horrified when sonic months Inter ho found that the ollicial record* of the colony accused him of being the father of sixty-four dusky olive branches.

(n the course of his Kivel bought lecture in tho Lorno-st root Hull on Tuesday night M, Mr Charles Bright (old a story derived from the Hindoos, which tickled the risibilities (if his uudienco immensely. Some uf my readers musl have come acres* it before, liul tv the greal majority it will be new, and in any case it "ill admirably bear io|hj tition. It runs after this fashion: 111 a thriving region of Thibet two Kuddhist priests guarded n shrine wliieh was held in great veneration among the Hurroiiiuiiug population. Daily oflbriligH of grape*, wino, and other dolicaeies, as well as of gold, -ems, and costly fabrics were made for the delec tation of "t ho sinless ono" who woninterred beneath, and it was regarded as a special mark of the L>L\ mo favour that while the priests "aye out that they lived entirely upon such an insubstantial and flatulent diet as beans and water, they grow sleek, fat, rubicund, and corpulent. At length a famine descended upon the land, the contri butions of the faithful fell oil' lamentably, and as a last resort the youniror priest had to be scut out, mount d on hw ass, to scour the diocese, and stimulate the religious ardour of the people. Thin, expedient, however, proved of.no avail, and the elder priest so jealously watched the few offerings that did come in that his younger companion finally -aw lit to com plain of lack of nourishment. His superior administered a stern rebuke, and adjured him to be moro prayerful. Acting upon this advice, the malcontent arose at mid night to cngago in his devotions. To his surprise, however, he saw himself antici pated, for the elder priest was busy at the shrino praying in rapt attention, and after a highly practical manner— with n ilask of wine in one hand and a rich cake in the other. The younger cleric deferred operation* for a time, and, on the retirement of his coadjutor, started vigorously upon the same form of prayer. Boforo he had jjot through the novel ritual, the elder one re turned, and, seeing the aspect of affairs, ad dressed him thusly : " My son, this shrine is no longer ablo to support two priests. Take thou, thercforo, my ass on the morrow, supply thyself with provision*, journey from this famine-stricken land to one of plenty, and there select the shrine of another sinless one at which to worship."

There was ho alternative than to obey, and accordingly tlio junior priest, mounted on tho ass, not out upon his travels. After many days lie entered into a prosperous country, but, behold ! at this bright conjuncture his hopes were dashed by the suddon decease of his beast of bunion. While- loudly lamenting after approved Oriental methods its untimely demise, a fool camo along and having ascertained tho mourner's piteous story, pointed out that the apparent miafortuno was but a blessing in disguise, as tho ass would serve for the greatly-to-be dosired sinless ono, and a shrine could bo erected over its remains. Tho priest took the hint, interred tho long-eared saint, raised a mound over it, and pressing into service a passing carpenter and a stone mason, got tho one to construct a railing and the other to set up a litting monument. The fame of the now shrine soon spread throughout the land, tho virtues of the sinless ono were blazoned abroad, and miracles wore wrought daily by its aid. Gifts poured in lavishly, and in a few years the priest had acquired such enormous wealth that ho resolved to visit his former friend, lie started with rich presents and a long retinue, and in due time arrived at tho old shrine, where tho aged priest, once more in halcyon times, received him with groat surprise Ovor their generous cups tho youngor man could not forbear to brag of his cleverness, and consequently the story of the successful shrine and its saintly occupant was told with great gusto. " My son, my son," solemnly broke in the old man at last, "do not Hatter thysolf with the rellection that thy wisdom hath been un thought of before. Tho mother of thy ass lieth buried under yonder shrine." Here endeth tho traditionary legend. It is a good one, and lias many applications beyond those which Mr Bright attributed to it. These, however, the reader can construe for himsolf.

Tho following extract from a recent sermon by the llev. C. If. Spurgeon, entitled " The Debtor's Discharge," will be appreciated by business men : —''The man who is going backward in business has no

pleasure in stock-taking. 'Oh,' says he, ' don't bring me my books ; J shall not sloop at nights if 1 look into them.' Would it not be better and wiser if he would look tho thing in tho face and have it out, and know his actual state * Such ignorance is not bliss, but suspense and misery ! Men in debt aro generally very promising men : they will pay next week for certain ; but when that next weok comes, they meant the next weok further on, and then payment shall be doubly certain, yet they put in no appearance even then, or if they do, they givea bill. Is not that a precious document. Is it not as good as money itself? They evidently think so, for they feel quite as easy as if theyhad really paid the debt. But when the hill tails duo, what then? Ah me ! a bill is ofton just « lie with a slump on it."' + + +

Flirtation under cover of band music, just the same as kissing in the tunnel, is a rather dangerous practice, and sometimes places tho actors in rather uncomfortable positions. A ease in point occurred at the Opera House the other evening when the gas was low, and the band, which was playing sulliciontly loud to render conversation ditlicult, suddenly coascd. This was evidently not anticipated by several persons in the dross circle, for just as tho music stopped, (lie voice of a young lady was heard to exclaim in a loud tone, "Oh, you nasty thing!" while a young follow, who was no doubt greatly excited in watching the pro gress of the play, was heard all over the house in his exclamation of surprise, "Oh, the old man says it was his son !" At that moment the gas was turned on full, so all the ill-natured people giggled, and thounfor tunato young people who were provocative of this unusual mirth could bo easily picked out by their very solemn countenances. This is something like an incident recorded by a New York letter-writer, who says :

The fair of the "Ist Regiment armoury in this city is a fashionable event. Pretty ixirls abound, both inside and outside of tho booths, flirtation is consequently rampant, for all tin- circumstances favour it. The musicians make a great deal of noise when the exigencies of tinl composition demand it, and at such times conversation must be done in shouts or with tho mouth of the speaker rlose to the ear of the hearer. This sometimes makes tlie girls at tho booths, who have cooed like doves at the outset, finally croak like ravens from hoarseness, and it was to avoid such eonse quciK'O that a dear girl leaned a third of the way across the counter from the inside, while a bold soldier leaned a third of the way from the outside, so Unit there was only a third between their faces.

S neb was the c\planal ion that she privately made to her fond mamma, who. neverthe less, continued to stand by. It seemed im probable to the fond mamma nl first that the dear gill was really trying so earnestly to sell a worked needle-book to the brave soldier, and tho situation was further com plicated by tho fact that the brave soldier had been discountenanced as a suitor for tin; dear girl. Still, whenever the noisy places in the music gave way to intervals of comparative quiet, the bits of conversation that came to her ears were all about the needle-book. That was the case, at least, until a certain juncture. The fond mamma heard the dear girl say, in a lull of the music : " f is really worth the monoy, and would be ex ceedingly handy, .1 should think, fora - - ."

Then the basoon blared as though blown by steam power. The dear girl knew ex actly how long the blur.- ought to lust, but KOmothiti(! disastrous happened to it, and it ended with a premature abruptness, so that tho fond mamma and others heard her say in a high shrill voice : " The cat'll be away Friday night, and you'd better rail around and play with your own mousey mousey."

The liability to be victimised incurred by dispensers of charitable nid is strikingly exemplified by tho case of thn unfortunate man H'anstall, who figured so conspicuously in connection with the ICnoch Ardon recital. Introduced by ;i medical gentle man of position, the officers of the Sooioty wok: naturally disposed to con sider the cni:B a deserving one, and yet they acted cautiously. Several intcn iews took plsu'O between the parties, and Wans tail's wretched appearance did not fail to exeito commiseration. lie had all tho ap pearance of a man given to drink, but the liau({llty disdain with which ho treated tho insinuation that his troubles were the result of a too ardent dovotion to the Bacchana lian j^od embarrassed his questioners, al though it did not remove their suspicions, lie was plausible in all hii explanations. As the nephew of Sir Harry l'nrkcs, there could be no doubt of his good connections. That lie was a man of education was evinced by his style and conversation, ami nodoubt was thrown upon his claim to bo considered a duly qualified medical practitioner, whose greatest misfortune was that ho had not been registered. And yet. thore was the strange fact that after four years' resi dence in the colony the poor fellow was in rags, but even this incon sistency was explained by tho statement that tho people amongst whom he had been living at liokianga were all in his debt, bul; were too poor to pay him. His dis sipated appearance was undeniable, but he scouted all suggestions of drink being the causc,and attributed it to the use ot chloral, which he said ho was compelled to take in order to obtain sleep. On one occasion, it is true, MrUuppuy's nostrils were assailed by a strong fragrance such as is imparted to the broath by frequent libations of " whisky straight," but Mr WanstaU'a rigid temperance principles were not to bo questioned. Ho admitted that he had taken a glass or two, but it was in the place of food, of which he had none, and only at the earnest solicitation of friends, who wore nfraid that lie might die of starva tion. Their earnest solicitude might, however, have been bettor expressed by pro viding him with a " square meal."

There appeared to be no doubt whatever of Mr AVanstall's willingness to work if something were only provided for him to do. He was asked by Mr Ewington if ho would teach in a school at 10s per week if a situation were found for him, and he replied in the affirmative. Mr Ewington then offered him the job of cleaning the windows of his house at ttocky Nook if ho would bo out thero at six o'clock on the following morning, and he accepted the work with apparent gratitude. I'aybreak found him in the neighbourhood of Mr Ewington's honse, and the test of his willingness was considered satisfactory, and he was accepted as a genuine case. He was known to possess good elocutionary attainments, and having recited "Enoch Ardon " in Mr Ewington's ottico, the recital at St. Sopiilch' o's underthe auspices of the Benevolent Society was decided upon so that he might be supplied with anew suit of clothes. The arrangements were dolaycd somewhat by Mr Duppuy's illness, and Mr Wanstall was entrusted with some of tho preliminary work, and then it was that suspicions were entertained concerning him. Reports became current that he had been seen under the influence of liquor, but ho denied them, and when charged with neglect of the entertainment arrangement*1, he pica led that lie had only gono to the North Shore to get some oysters, tho doctor having told him they would be good for him. When Mr Dup puy returned to hi 3 duties, lie found every thing in connection with the recital in a stato of stafii quo. At the last moment circulars were written and entrusted with tickets to Mr Wanstall to deliver to loading citizens. My readers know the remainder of the story. The circulars were never deli vered. Wanstall sold the enclosed tickets, expended tho money in drink,' and a couple of hours before the recital was to have com menced was found drunk in Qneen-street by Mr Duppuy. Tho exposure was complete, and the intoxicated " Rnoch " was handed over to the tender mercies of tho police.

REVIEW.

"New Zealand - Her Commerce and Resources."

By G. W. Griffin', U.S. Consul, Aittiiou of "Mv Danish Days," " Studiks in LITKKATIKK," "MIiMOIK UK C. S. Tol>[), .lit."

A HANUSo.MELV-iiOliNi) volume of ISO pages is Uio latest form in which Mi1 Griliin's consular reports liuvc boon submitted to the public. Thus collected, wo arc bettor able to measure the extent and groat value of Mr Crillin's endeavours to make known in the United States the resources and institu tions of this colony. The book only com prises a selection from Mr CriHin's reports', but an enumeration of tlie subjects will sullicieatly indicate the practical character of his work. After n general description of the colony—its area, geographical position, population, political and social institutions and revenues, acliapterisdevotcd to financial and general statistics. Then follow papers on Australasian Banking. Mnil Routes to Aus tralasia, Harbour Accommodation, The Coallields, The Goldfields, The Timber Trade, The Iron and Steel Trade, The Watch and Clock Trade, Manganese, Wool, Woollen Manufactures, Now Zealand Cattle, FiW.cn and Canned Meat, Canned Provisions, Fisheries, Kauri (iirni, Fungus, Flnx, Uiibbit-skins,TaneUnhaßark, Cement, Agricultural Products, Horse-breeding, American Woodenwnrn, and Systems of Credit. Additional value is given to these papers by the fact that the statistical infor mation has been brought up to date by Dr. Hector and Mr Krovni, the Registrar General. A valuable map, showing roads, railway and steamer routes and distances, has also been attached. The work is issued in conformity with a special resolution of Parliament, and it is intended to circulate a largo number of copies in England, through the Agent- General's ollice. The impartiality of the authorship, and the very readable shape in which these facts about the colony arc pre sented, will matei illy enhance the value of of the book as vii authority upon the re sources of New Zealand. The typographical part of tho work has been well executed at the Government printing ollicc. A few copies are handsomely bound in red morocco, the remainder in the edition in red cloth. It is intended by the liovernmeni to send a large number for circulation through the Agent-Generals ollice, London.

"The Giant Arithmos."

By Makv Stkadman Ai.ihs. London : M.U'MII.I.A.N AND CO., ISB-. Arithmetic is not ordinarily a favourite branch of study with ladies, but the wife of Professor Aldis forms a distinguished ex ception to tho rule. Mrs Aldis not only de lights in exploring the boundless realm of exact truth that is. opened up to the student whounderstandsthepropertiesof figures, but she believes that tho study is an interesting one, and that the association of arithmetic with everything that is dry, tedious, and mentally exhausting is a popular delusion, originating in ignorance and perpetuated by i-on-ervativc stupidity. To the student suU'ering from an intellectual ilacidity, a mathematical problem acts like a tonic, bracing tho mind and imparting a renewed power of eonccntrativcnc.-s. So arithmetic, even in its most simple rules, has a whole some ellect upon the budding faculties of the child, and creates tho first conscious impressions of proportion — give? a true impulse to habits of exact observation. Blundering methods of instruction, con fused explanations when natural illustra tions are needed, and the presentation of abstract propositions which bailie the un trained mind, readily prepare the child for a hearty and life-long hatred of sums. In tho little book under notice, the author has shown how arithmetic may actually be turned into a very amusing game. The author dedicates it specially to those " mothers who wish to retain some portion of that influence which nature intended them to have in the training of their children, and who refuse to abandon it wholly to either the schoolmaster or the State." But even when not taken as a class-book, there are hints enough in the book, which the teacher can apply in his or her own way, to smooth tho path of the young arithmetician, and to make him com prehend that sums are not unmeaning puzzles invented by some wicked ogre for the mortification of little boys and girls. Mrs Aldis presents Arithmos as, indeed, a giant, but a gracious one, who is as good-natured as he is powerful. In a series of oS easy lessons she initiates the student into the mysteries of addition, subtraction multiplication, and division, with their appropriate signs. The child, at the conclusion of these lessons, will have a better understanding of tho meaning and intention of figures than if he had battered his poor little head against the hard rules of tho approved school-books for a whole year. So grounded, he will be ready to approach with intelligence the moro abstruse problems of the orthodox sum-book. We are glad to have resident in our midst a hidy who has done so excellent a service for the little ones. Her book is sure to mako its way into popular favour.

"The Birds In the Wood."

By Hknry Kowalsui

We have received from Messrs Nicholson and Co., of Sydney and Melbourne, a piano forte piece of rather ambitious character. The title is appropriate. The music of "The Birds in'the Wood " has inspired the composer, and the score fairly interprets his uillicult theme. Apart from its pleasing harmonies, the piece will be sought after as a lingering exercise. Athough too difficult for the average miss, who exhibits her musical accomplishments in a few homely airs, the advanced player will find in it many attractions, and to the at tention of such wo can confidently com mend it. The edition, though bearing the imprint of acolonial firm or music publishers, has been copyrighted in England by regis tration at Stationers' Hall. Musically and artistically it exhibits the culture of the Australasian colonies in a favourable light.

Young Quartz.

It is a generally accepted theory that quartz, sandstone, and slate are geological formations which require thousands of years to form. A few days ago, in Virginia City, Conductor Havenor showed the editor of the " Appeal" a specimen of quartz which nevor could have existed over fifteen years ago. The quartz in question was taken out of the Yellow Jacket mine, from between the timbers. The timbers were put in fifteen years ago, and the matter forming the quart/, had apparently oozed through a crack and adhered to the timber. It was about the size and had the appearance of a cauliflower. There was a masS rather soft and crumbling to the touch, and in places woven together like threads ; and in this mass, and a part of it, were three distinct and perfectly formed quartz crystals. The mass had been pushed through the crack while in a plastic state, and then formed in the bunch described. The specimen in the possession of Mr Havenor shows where it adhered to the timber. He also has a piece of sandstono taken from the creek at Stovons's Mill, near Dayton. The mill was built twelve years ago, and a portion of a wooden stake driven into the ground at the time is solidly imbedded in the sandstone, which is as firm and hard as any sandstone of the old sandstone period. There is a rusty nail in the wedge,—From the "Carson Appeal."

THE GARDEN.

(By Hohtus).

Calendar of Operations, May 17.

[Hortus is willing to answer any queries. Cor respondents must give their full names and ■iddrcsses, though not {or publication.]

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Association (Fruit Grower).—Thero was ;i Fruit Growers' Association formed in Auck land a liUle over 12 monllis ago. 1 tliinlj that is all that 1 know about it, 1 have never heard anything about, its meetings. By applying to IWrHickson (who, if I remember rightly, was one of the principal promoters) you might be able to learn its objects, and 'something of the work done by the Associa tion during the last 12 months. I heartily concur with you that an Association for the promotion of a better knowledge of fruit growing is much wanted here. The Auck land Gardeners' Horticultural Society try and do a little towards this at their meetings, but what transpires is not made public. Ghass Si'.kd (Lawn) The best crass in my estimation for milking v gooil lawn here is Foil I'ralcnsis, Kentucky blue grass, sown at the rate of about three bushels of the I'oa to one bushel of ryegrass. Two lbs. of white clover to the acre will make a gnod lawn in a short time. Get the seed in the ground as soon as possible now. The above grass 1 con sider one of the host for making lawns here. Kvon if it gets thoroughly scorched in the dry season, when we receive the usual autumn rains the lawn is soon green agutn with it. Sawdust (Cultivator).—The above makes a capital manure if well rotted. In some parts of Great Britain sawdust is largely used for stable purposes, and the manure made from it is coming into great favour with market gardeners. It is found to produce some vegetables much better than any other manure, especially celery. As a mulch hero in our dry summers, in either the kitchen or (lower garden, it ought to be invaluable. The rotted ilcbrix could be easily forked into the soil in the autumn, which would act as manure and keen th eground opener, especially still'soils. I have often used sawdust which had passed through the piggery with good effect. A writer in an English paper says :— •' f have found the plan for getting rid of slugs very efficacious—namely, sprinkling I sawdust round the plants as one would do I quicklime or soot. The latter, when once wetted, loses effect, hut sawdust retains its virtue however wet, and slicking to the slugs, prevents their approach to the plants. When dry, slugs,"&c, detest it." My correspondent might try'it for this purpose, and let me know what the result is.

Kitchen Garden.

OoNTISfK dressing the asparagus, rhubarb, and seakale beds as directed last week. There is no time like the present for making new beds for the same, or as long as the dry weather lasts. All spare ground ought also to be dug or trenched and manured. Still sow in green crops. It will do for late spring green food, or if not wanted for such, dig it down, as the ground is wanted in the spring for other crops ; if dug down it will put the soil in better fettle next year, especially clay soils. Continue planting out lettuce, tie up so as to blanch those that arc advancing : the late cold weather ought to have had the effect of making them more crisp. Late celery and leeks, give their final earthing up : after all the soil is put up to the ridges, give little water and pat it with the spnde. This will cause the Milter to run off the ridge quicker during heavy rains. In warm dry situation sow a few peas ; select.the earliest kinds. Earth up all advancing crops. Thin out seed lings. Sweet potatoes or kumeras ought now to be lifted and pitted ; or a good way to manage them is to put them in boxes, packed with dry sand. They keep well in this manner, and you have the advantage of not needing to open the pit when they are wanted for use, thus not letting in the air to the others. Flower Garden. All now work in this department should be completed as soon as possible now. The wet, dirty winter will soon be in, when all new work can neither be so well nor cheaply done as it can in dry weather. Shrubs, (lowers, or trees will not thrive so well in soils which have been laboured in wet weather as in dry. Continue the digging and manuring of the flower bods. Reduce the size of most of the herbaceous plants ; subdivide and plant elsewhere some of the best of them, discarding others which you may find unsuitable. Put labels or sticks to mark the places where lilium or other bulbs arc loft in the borders for the winter months. Clear away all rubbish to the rot heap as.it is taken from the plants. Collect all the leaves from the pleasure ground. Get a load or so of new stable manure and mix all together, adding a little salt and lime so as to kill vegetable and animal life. Con tinue the top-dressing and renovating of lawns. See that the new soil is well worked into the ground : roll and sow fresh grass seed. Walks, where they are broken or be come thin, give a slight dressing of gravel, and apply a heavy rollev. Gkeeshouse,—Wash and re-paint house, as directed last week. Azaleas, camellia.s, heath, and other hardy early winter and spring flowering plants in pot, remove from summer quarters into the house for the winter. Chrysanthemums, as they get past HoTvering, cut back and remove out of doors. Change the watering from night to morning. Vines : If the fruit is all. cut off them, have the canes removed outside, if possible. If such can be done, they will ripen off their wood much better, thus giving a better clnnce of a good crop next season. Give the house a thorough overhaul, cleaning out every crevice and corner, so as to destroy any lane of insects which may have been deposited during last season. Mildew.—lt is stated that an Italian experimenter named Giovanni Gazzoti has found that by drenching the vine leaves and fruit with a solution of soda in the propor tion of two kilogrammes to each hectolitre of water the mildew was completely de stroyed, and the leaves aud fruit become healthy, and grow naturally. A kilo gramme is a little more than two pounds, and a hectolitre is about two Imperial gallons. Tho Orchard. All those who have broken up now ground for planting new or extending old orchards should now try and give the ground another ploughing or re-digging, so as still further to sweeten it. Immediately after it is ploughed or dug, have the places marked out where the trees are to be planted, and get the holes dug. Dig them about one foot six inches deep, and about three feet in diamotor. It is a good plan to have the soil thrown out for threo weeks or a month before planting, as the hole gets well aired, and the trees succeed much better from it. There is another question that ought to be looked to at once, and that is the variety of trees which will suit your soils and situations best. Try to get as good an idea of this as possible. Also, find rind out where the best stock of trees is to be obtained. See that they are of a nice hurdy growth, and healthy. Send in your orders to the nurserymen early, so that at the beginning of the season you can get the choice plants, and have them planted out as early as possible, as the earlier the trees arc planted out the better they will succeed.

Growing Tomatoes from Cuttings.

Tomatoes can be easily grown from cuttings; the cuttings ought to be taken oil the old plants just before the cold weather; cut back the old plants. Take off about three inches of the stronger shoots, prepare some good sandy soil, put it into well-drained four-inch pots, dibble the cut tings into this, putting them about one and a-half inches into the soil; -water, and place the pots into a cold frame near the glass, or better, in the greenhouse. The cuttings will soon strike. When they ore well estab lished, re-pot singly into four-inch pots in a good fibrous loam, mixed one-third sand and one-third well-rotted manure. They will soon take in this when they get estab lished, l'ut them in some place where they will not grow fast until the planting sea son comes round, then plant out the same as seedlings. There are a few advantages to bo obtained through raising your young

ttock from cuttings instead of seed 1 the cutting you ulready possess Woodwhi!* has all the materials in its comrjoeitigTj produce fiuit whenever it {jopj to grow ; consequently, when pla^S oat, the first or second joint will prod uc l bunch of flowers, which will in [time jwj into fruit, thus giving you much earr crops. This season I had tomatoes tW weeks earlier from cuttings than from seed lings. Both seedlings and cuttiag 8 planted out the same day. The seedli had to grow for some time before it coJiij produce flower. The cuttiDg produced flower on the second joint, and a fine bund! of fruit was the result. The after-growth was close-jointed, and nearly every jnjf produced a bunch of fruit, contimii!? on like this till the end of th 6 'wl g Very little pinching had to be 3" taken. It was almost all training un t fruiting shoots. The trellis almost looked like a wall of fruit where the cuttings planted. The seedlings, on the other hand continued growing plenty of strooc wood which needed constant pinching back' The fruit was very irregularly distributed • ■ over the shoots, not nearly so largeor fine iff as such produced on the cuttings; and as '*'■ for bulk of crop, the cuttings prodiiMd three times the weight of fruit yielded by the seedlings. Xo»v those plants were grown™, der the same conditions, on the same piece of ground, received the same attention, and the variety was the same; they vtsn ,' w ], a i. is called the large red. There is another advantage in growing from outtiogs over the seed, and that is, that in varieties of tomato growing together the ..'different strains get mixed, and sometimes the seed produces a very inferior article from tk parent plant. By growing your stock from cuttings, if the start is made with a first class variety and the cuttings.are taken off strong, short-jointed, healthy,shoots you will be able to continue growing a first-class_ variety without any(dang e j o f the quality being deteriorated,; thronel getting crossed. _ The only danger would then be in growing the same plants-for a long period in the same soils and situation, To remedy this an occasional change of cut tings with some distantfriendjwouldbe advis able. In conclusion, I would advise all those who have the necessary accommodation to give the above a trial. This is no new fad Twenty years ago in Britain I assisted to grow the tomatoes from cuttings, butthere we had to grow our plants under glasjall the season, but with about the same result as I have obtained here. :.'■■■,,

Married Unawares.

Me George Gekabd, of Philadelphia, formerly American Consul at Cape %<m, Cape of Good Hope, commßhieatei the following amusing reminiscen'cee.of hij African consular experience :—','! "l:; "There is a very singular custom,among the farmers—how to get a wife., /r H. y^ desire to get married you shouldfust iake inquiry whether the lady you, love, Has a horse ; if ho, you must ask her whether she has a horse for sale. If she says,,,'No,1 then you had tetter quit the hbu^e aii.onoe. She does not like you. But if, oq the'eon. trary, she says ' Yes' it is a good sign, but she will ask you a very high p^ice. .fi the amount named is paid on the spotj t^ en gagement is concluded, as fuUvlas,'," ,'V marriage was consummated by the parse "On my arrival at the Cape I,,diii act know of this custom. I wantedtbporckse a horse, and I was informed by anoldSpttb resident that Widow WurtzeUihjid.fflw to sell, and soon arrived at the MM;oft the widow (who, by the way, was not bill look ing.) I asked her whether she had, a horse to sell. She looked at me very Bharp,,jthen asked me whether I had some letters of is troduction. I said that I was the American Consul, and would pay cash for her^tota, 'In that case,'said she, 'letterflMe.nptnev,. cessary.' I paid down the sum Remanded; then, after taking a cup of coffee,rsjifl;«ent her horse by her groom, and botb. accom panied me home. i $&» i'< "On the road the groom asttdjine a * thousand questions. ' itfaster,'saidhe,,will my mistress go live with you. in/itoWn, or , will you come live with us '! Ybu.wJl love my mistress, for she was very kind,^o, my "'■' old master (laughing). Where,will the wedding be (looking at me laughuiß)t 'Truly, I thorght, 'the peor 'felkpgha! drank too much, or he is an imbecile.' I felt sorry for him. When I arrived .tame, I found many people at my door congratu lating me, not for the horse, but, fqti.the acquaintance of the widow. "Erjily.'.fßaid one, ' you have been very successful. <~'&&> is very rich,' said another. I really^ not know what it all meant, and I beganft he very uneasy, when to my great surprise,« lady alighted on my steps, and I,a^fonce recognised the widow. She, very i: ,,QMlly asked when I desired to have the ceremonr. of the wedding performed. Thep^mdeea, I fully perceived the scrape in whichliWasj and told her frankly that it was' aijwwa I wanted, and not a wife. ' What,?' Middle, ' do you mean to act thus to a lady,like,pj If so, I shall send back for my hfxx,;m will repay you.' In a few hours her CTxm was at my door with the money.,! I.gMl? gave back the horse, thankful toijbavp'fa escaped. A few weeks after, howßverjjtlw widow was married ; a more ambitious M had bought her horse." 3~. ;;ij| ,

Sage Advice to Wives.

Not long ago a little volume madiftff'lj; pearance which, under the title ''w\ pretended to guide awkward'jW" 11 through the intricacies of social life.; W® then, says the "Pall MalllGaiW, several other effusions of V';'(a«P r:: kind have continued the work of edtt?atioii commenced by "Don't." Sotabt^, 818 dedicated to the world at large; owW' parently to roughs and urchins; 'AnjJp last, " What to Do," a worthy co»W» to some of its predecessors, is wnttei^w' married women without either opß* any other sense. But as there is ranly^J chaff without a stray corn of wheat,^ M* tract some of these commandments OT?q American authority which first 'pUBWW them : -yi Do remember that you are marnM,»fl • man, and not to a god ; be prepared I*™' perfections. ' ~.,"7>..(. Do anticipate the discovery by yoornia band that you are " only a woman i" uJ* were not he would not care abont-y0n.... Do, once in a way, let your hu?bandj]lf' 9 the last word ; it will gratify him and J» ( » particular loss to you. i . jM ~ Do be reasonable ; it is a great dealW ask under some circumstances, butdo.wyi reasonable women are rare—be rare..,..,, Do remember that servants,areW*™ the same material as you are; ',* J?? coarser-grained, perhaps, but the &B*! 111 essentials. /i'-'V Do try and forget yourself; 08|«WjJ husband forget that you married Mm»» remember that ho married you; p? \W thon probably do tho reverse. I k& Do let him read the newspaper at TO*' fast table; it is unsociable,' out. theS,? 8 only a trifle after all, and he likesfit.,, j 0 ' Do let him know more than you' MS in a while; it keeps up his self-resp«M"" you will be none tho worse for aamitlfe that you arefnot actually infallible,' . ■. i. Do remember that the interest'w"W?J* not centred in your home circle!,,? 0 familiarise yourself in outside events;^lji« Do read something in the papers Wru fashion notes and society columns^'iPS* some knowledge of what is going W-.f foreign countries. ■> i'jl'L Do be a companion to your husband sP is a wise man; and if he is not, try to P*L him become your companion; raisfl ,™ standard, do not let him lower yours, j^ Do respect your husband's prejudicesij* respect hi 3 relations, especially his mow°V she is not the less his mother because«M™ your mother-in-law; she loved him; W{T you did.

THE AUCKLAND EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, MAY 17, 1884

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