RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiel.J

4 Mne write, a neighbour's name to lash, • .110 write—vain thought!—for needful cash, < u i,ic writo to please tho country clash, And raise a din. tw tni, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

IVhat U this that " Zamiol" hears concerti ng the doings of the youths and maids he bachelors of art and the sweet girl Graduates—who aro pursuing their arduous Studies at the Auckland Training College ? I can see in my mind's eye the gossips al jroady pricking their cars, so I hasten to say that of course it is nothing scandalous, but only rather curious and entertaining as throwing light on the amenities of colo jnial life. Of late the students have ! been enthusiastically experimenting in '] animal magnetism, and i am told it is no un common sight to see a group of four fragile misses supporting on tho tips of their lingers a burly male student who is raised high in air by the magnetic or will power of the experimenters. Thought-reading is also a favourite exerciso with these devotees of science, nor are tho bdks ktlres neg lected. I have seen a "copy of verses" written by certain of the male beings in lidic de of the gentler sex. This precious effusion commences thus : —

Ih3 eirlaat our College aro a set of big fools ; they always are gißgling and breaking the rules,

and it goes on to mention each one by name or nickname, gi .ing a few words of satirical description to each. Thus one lady is said to lo "mediocre," another is a "guy," a third has big feet, and a fourth is said to be marked in her attentions to a young gentle man. All these things may be true, but it is decidedly nugallant to set them down in black and white and circulate copies among the unfortunate subject* of criticism. lam glad to say, however, that the gentlemanly pjets were not allowed to have things all their own way. The young ladies retorted with a spirited effusion, in whicli tho bodily and mental defects of their lampooners were held up to ridicule most effectively. One young lady, whose name may in tho future be heard of as that of a poetess, produced an able effusion on a certain youth named *• Harry," which in semi-ssrious, semi-ban terintr vein, completely dissected him, and laid open hia faults to tho eye of the world. The equality of the aexes has thus been fully vindicated, and the smartness of our colonial youngsters firmly established. It ia pleasing to learn that our sonß and daughters are so clever, but the question is apt to arise—How comes it that they have time for these frivolous pursuits in the ttudious precincts of the Training School?

A good theatrical joke never comes amiss, and as several stories of hUtvionic repartee have lately appeared in the Star, I may be pardoned for giving one which a friend as sures me actually took place at Leicester. At that town the play of Richard 111. is nlways popular, in consequence, probably.of its nearness to Boswortn field, which de cided the destinies of that monarch. On one occasion Hayden, the actor, was personating Crookback, and to him as usual entered the breathless messenger exclaiming, "Rich mond's on the seas, my lord." Imagine the surprise of king and people when a ■tuntorian voice from the pit interjected, " You're a liar ! it's on the Thames! This mingling of geography with a historical p!«y "brought down the house."

That dog-Lntin doggerel which I "placed before my readors two weeks ago has re ceived a largo share of attention, and I have got quite a budget of " translations." I may us well explain, for the benefit of those who failed in their attempts to decipher the vorses, that they were Latin only in appearance; that is, the words chiefly belonged to that noble tongue, but the composition was really Eng lish, and rather slangy English too. To exemplify, take the couplet supposed to be uttered extempore by a classical London " cabby " on experiencing a regular block in obo of the narrow streets of the city :— " J?9 ab ilia! Heres ago; Fortibuscsinero!" That loohs like Latin, right enough ; but the acute interpreter by a very simple pro cess finds that the words pronounced in English read thus :— Isabella! bore's a go I Forty 'busses in a row 1 Keeping in view this method oi interpreta tion, it is found that the title, " Tones Ad lloato Mare," can be translated into "Tony's Address to Mary," and in that way the fol lowing iugenioua effusion is produced : — TONY'S ADDRESS TO MARY. (. .i !•}'. heave a sigh for me— I ...• me, your Tony true ; I am become as » man dumb, 0, lot Hymen promDt you. Jly eye iB wet as any ses, As you may know hereby, 0, lot mo come. Mary, to tea, Or eat a bit of pie. Alas! I foar your rigid eyo; My ardor well you know; To let me die is naughty. Poll, So let mo be a beau. Ah me! we are a silly set! Why laud I woman thus? I hate you as a random sex; ill luck I on'y cuss I You said, you vixen, I may go; My missus. Mary, stay! Oh. can't you read it in my eye— I burn as arid day. A very wafer here I sigh; My eye resolves in dew- To tie us, oh 1 let Hymen come; Accept your Tony true I The correspondents who have tackled the task are "Asinuß," " L P. A.," " Ponsonby," " F.M.A." (North Shore), " Nemo," " Dennis Wiffed," and " Tony " (Mount Eden) Of all these solutions there is not one which is correct, though by piecing them together an accurate and complete version could be got. Two find the title a stumbling block, and give it as " Tonos Addressed to Mary,'1 but all Hie others have successfully passed this lion* asinorum. I need not. notice all the tlivert'encies, but some are too ludicrous to pass 'by. The fifth line is by one corres pondent givon thus :—

My eye is wet as Hennessy !

but I shrewdly suspect this is a deliberate perversion for the joke's sake. "Or eat a hitler pie " 's a laughable variation, but it is not so delicious a blunder as that which translates "IHuc lonicus" into "111 luck I own a cuss I" Poor_Tony must have been'eating very bitter pie indeed before he would have used such language. This "cu.*s''-ed line has proved, however, the most difficult of all, as only three hit on the correct reading of it. Another phrase, ••hibeinas avida," appears to have beon a nuzzle, for it is variously rendered as "I bum as arid hay," " I burn as e'er a day," aud "I burn as a reed." Of these " arid hay " " like " moble(1 Queen," rather good. The line, " A very wafer here I eigh," has a varied assortment of readings, as par exiwle, "A very waif, ah, here I sio-h " "A very vapour,' "A. weary waYfarer," and " A very waif,for her I sigh." By amalgamating the mistakes of two .versions t get the following nonsense from -the closing four linos :—

A vcrv waif, for her I sigh, M v high resolves endue; To tie us, oh, let Hymen cume. Except you're too nigh true 1

■On the whole, "Zamiel " congratulates the •"translators" on the way they have done fheir work, and hopes their enjoyment of it •,Ims been as keen as is his pleasure in ac knowledging it.

If as Pope says, "the proper study of mankind is man," and if, as Wordsworth fays "the child is father of the man," ■nothing more important than the baby nhow .of Tue-day next has ever been projected in Auckland. (Of course there will be found •poople to dispute these dicta, like that ifovel-Ueaded wretch who said, regarding the •sublime sentiment of the Lake poet, that " be thought it was always the other way, and tho man was father of the child !") Those who attend will really be following I out the precept of tbo wise Greek—" Man, know thyself !" Of infinitely greater ■ moment than the questions whether the human species U allied to the roptiles, fishes, birds, or oviparous mammals, is the subject of how the race is to bo raised to perfection : and the tj.jttiblifhra.ent of com. ---! potitive buby shows, by bringing out the "points" *l excellence, ought to be of service in improving the physical qualities \ ■of the'humanrace. For one thing "Zamiel" I iis profoundly thankful, and that is thab he '<i« not to be one of the judges. The idea of daeing 118 proud mothers, and having to so that their "little dor ■ Hogs'" *te undeserving of prizes, requires »ieaterfortitude than I can command ; ami >BM|'l only hope that those medical men who are Bftto judge are already bald-headed. The hopeful foature of tiie whole business ■b* -*J»e promise for tbo future vbiob is

stop will bo a marriageable girls'' show, ami when that is announced, won't I hero be a flutter in bachelor circle?, and a corres ponding fall in llannaford stocks !

The miserliness of tho orthodox boliover, who values all tho treasures of salvation sit the smallest silver coin bearing Hoi- Majesty's imago, has for many years been a standing butt of tho scoffer ; yet magni ficent churche?multiply,well-paidministors, organists, and other workers nro still sup ported by the voluntary liberality of Christians. How comes it then, that such elaborate precautions aro requisite to ex tract a shilling or sixpence from those high-toned reformers who frequent the Sunday evening foativites in tho Lome street Hall ? In recent advertisements I noficc an appended request that persons who attend the concert shall voluntarily contribute at the rate named. Now, one might fairly suppose that people who talk soiilatantly of their advanced liberalism, social and ecclesiastical, could be trusted to pay what is a very paltry fee for a pro fessional entertainment. But the managers of tho concern know them bettor, so they accompany the announcement ot a " volun tary" charge with a pretty plain intimation that they have taken tho measure of tho frequenters of the Hall, and don't mean to trust them ; therefore they have taken tho precaution to check their contributions by issuing tickets, obtainable at tho door, but without which no person will be admitted into the Hall. The idea underlying this arrangement seems to be that persons who will not give voluntarily should be shamed into giving by a system of espionage—a proceeding rather more contemptible than the sin which has provoked it. All this nulcry against the legil prohibition of Sunday charges means simply that men are too mean to pay, without compulsion, for the benefits which they enjoy ; and the fact that the howl comes from peoplo who prattle so much about leading tho van of liberal thought, and whose expenses aro insignificant compared with those borne by a poor congregation of the very smallest religious sect, is perfectly delicious !

But wo livo in an age of humbug, and the successful humbug is a character who com mands our most undisguised admiration. The noisy professor of Radicalism, like blatant windbags of the religious or com mercial sorts, is usually as big a fraud as tho other varieties. Nine out of ten man who thrash thoir wives, and make miniature pandemoniums of their homes, froth about the rights of Britons. You will usually find any fellow who conceives that Provi dence meant him to live at other people's expense a Liberal of the Liberals - tho term being literally accurate in his uso of tho products of other men's industry ; but so thorough is the popular love of a humbug, that if such a fellow can only talk glibly he may fare sumptuously every day, while tho man who has the courage and honesty to speak unpleasant truths roceives naught but contumely. What is true of tho lower strata is not very wide of tho mark when applied to the higher. What a matchless perception of the human love of humbug was evinced by Sir Julius Vogel when, speaking as a coadjutor of Mr Robert Stout, he declared that the colony had suffered depression in consequence of the wave of Radicalism which had passed over it, and that the prossing need for a recuperativo interval from advanced political fads, called for the retirement of Major Atkinson, in order, as the sequel showed, that Mr Robert Stout, the High Priest of Radicalism and fad, may have an innings. But both Vogel and Stout measure men in the parcel too accurately to doubt that if, during their curious co-partnership,one plays exclusively to tho gods, while tho other tickles the fancy and reassures the feans of the money bugs in the dress circle, they stand a very fnir chance of satisfying tho foibles of both, while they secure to themselves tho honours end rewards of the game.

"Judicious advertising," we aro told on excellent authority, "is the keystone of success ;" and it is not only the business, man who belioves in the maxim. Many a parson does too, and ono of this class shall illustrate my text. Do not imagine that I would try to injure, by any words of mine, a fraternity of worthy men, a number of whom I count among my personal friends ; I am only smiling innocently enough at the foibles of one of them. He is, I beliove, a man of sense in most things, devoted to his calling, and a laborious worker; but he does like to see his name in print, and to hear it upon the tongues of people. When the Duke of Albany died, he preached a sermon apropos of the sad occasion. Very right and proper, and loyal as well. But to pieach it was not enough ; he printed it. Then, that it might not waste its sweetness on the desert air of a colonial town, ho sent a copy to no lesa a personage than Her Majesty the Queen, Earl Derby being the channel of access. In due course, a formal acknowledgment of the receipt of the dis course arrived, and this the reverend gen tleman read out in triumph to his delighted congregation one Sunday evening. Next morning there wag an appropriate "local" in the paper, wherein, of course, the glorious deed was recorded in proper terms. Who wrote the " local " ? I really did not inquire ; and none of your paltry insinuations, please. It waa the same minister who, before arriving at the antipodes, published a little book whose very title is worth the money paid for the whole volume. It was called, " Sheen from My Thought Waves." The man that imagined that title is, if not a genius, at any rate an author of talents. You might look through a good many publishers' cata logues and not beat it. Do you think, I ask with confidence, do you think Lady Fanny Flummery oould have surpassed it? I pause for a reply.

When the time comes that a prize is to be given for the boss mean man, "Zamiel" hopes that the transcendental claim of an Auckland member of the Upper House will receive due consideration from the judges. Last session this gentleman took several hundredweight of lemons with him to Wellington, carriage free, of course, on the Government steamer, and after a good deal of bargaining:, sold them to the presiding genius of Bellamy's at 9d per dozen. Then this speculative legislator girded up I his loins and went for a stroll along Lamb ton Quay. Turning into a fruit shop, he inquired the wholesale price of lemons, and finding that he could get a penny a dozen more lor them from the fruiterer, he hied back to Bellamy's and made an effort to break his bargain. And that's how the Hon. Mr Blank got the name of " Old Lemon Face." XXX Those angular and somewhat paisei maidens who are continually fighting for women's rights should regard the pro moters of the Auckland Parliamentary Union as valiant supporters of their theories, inasmuch that the constitution of that Society provides that ladies may become electors and representative members. So far, none of the fair sex have availed them selves of this privilege, but we doubt not but that as the greatness of the concession dawns upon the sex, there will be large numbers of petticoated aspir ants for membership in the mimic parliament. Despite the advantages of the bestowal on women of the legis lative function, "Zamiel " sees a few draw backs to the innovation, and by way of illustrating these will quote a few supposi tious extracts from newspapers of the future. Thus :—

" We have good reason to believe that the Hon. the Minister for I'ublic Works will shortly lead to the hymeneal altar the Minister for Justice. It will be remembered that somo months ago there was a good deal of gossip regarding the flirtations of the head of the Department of Justice with Mr Slobberchops, leader of the Opposition, but we are glad to see that the lady has re mained true to her party."

"Mrs Grundy, whip of the Opposition party, is in the condition that ' wives who love their lords love to be,' consequently her arduous duties will be performed during the next few weeks? by Miss Buckeome, the re cently elected member for Christchurch North."

The chief pastimes of the young people of this city are fourfold, viz., singing, music, football, and courting. The two first-mentioned are geniul to the poetic spirit; the third, somewhat rough but popular; and the fourth, not local, but of universal prevalence, and quite nat'ral, as Sam Slick would say. Music, however, is my theme. Everybody loves music, from the young man who watches o' moonlight lights for the company of "dear Clara," the accomplished pianist of Graf ton Road to the organ-grinder of Darby-street. He who loves not nwsip, wrote great Sbak spere (no moan authority), is fit for treasons stratagems, and all sorts of villainy, and worthy of a solitary residence In Mount i-den. Musical societies, however, are not go numerous as heretofore in this musical city. The Tonic Sol-fa's have died out, Bud one of its principal . teachers has resolved henceforth to : pit upon (he tailor's board nursing his jjooge wo plying

his noedlo, while the other has taken to his palette, and is brushing through tho most charming inland and eoaside scenery of New Zealand. The Choral Society occupies its pre-eminence pay excellence, and the Philharmonic Society is reviving like tho flowers among the budding garniture of spring. The Philharmonic Society was promoted by a French musical professor, who, no doubt, aided con siderably in diffusing a musical taste among the people. But he has passed to other shores. Moved by the originator, Mr Gordon, the flautist and parent of the Society, Mr Chadwick.was induced to wield the silver baton and assume the honorary oflico of conductor; but Mr Chadwick, by the force of circumstances, has been com pelled to resign his envied position with 105 members. It was sad to see a society which had made good progress, having for its object tho cultivation of melodious sounds, lapse and die out for want 01 a guiding spirit. "It shall not be," was the united avowal of a score of masculine voices, answered with silvery sweetness by tho sis ters of song. Herr Louia Tutschka, a gentleman of undoubted talents, and whose honours from the academies of Kuropo hang blushingly upon him like summer rose 3 upon the heaving bosom of Nature, has consented to act for the Society for the consideration of £50 per annum and the proceeds of four concerts, representing tho four seasons of the year; so that the vitality of this Society will be prolonged possibly to a greon old age.

The music-loving section of tho commu nity will no doubt have happy recollections of the manner in which their savage breasts were soothed by the instrumental treats af forded them by the Mayor during tho sum mer months si last your, for from the depths of his own pockot lie defrayed tho cost of tho Volunteer Bands discoursing sweet music in both the Western and Albert Parks on Saturday afternoons. It is with pleasure that " Zamiel" reverts to these occasions, and would gently hint that " now's tho time and now's the hour" for any gentleman having higher aims and nobler ends than hoarding hithy lucro to dispense somo ot it in tho right direction, and follow tho worthy examplo quoted above. Vivid pictures intrude .on "Zamiol's" mind of the many incidents that presented thomsolves to view on tho days in question, when tho "masher" of the period escorted the fair Clorinda, for instance, to somo sylvan bower, and thero, whilst enjoying tho mellifluous strains emanating from 0110 of these bands, improved tho shining hour by pouring into hor but too willing ear a talo of devotedlovoandaffectionj or, perhaps, hold ing sweet communion with himself, ho pon dered deeply as to how tho landlady at tho hnsh factory ivas to be faced, or the week's washing to ho paid. Many littlo etchings could bo brought to mind as illus trating that these gatherings are of inestim able good to all, but more especially to those whoso sedentary employment pre cludes tkem from enjoying a relief from "carking care," and "Zamiel" will hail with delight the news that his suggestion has teen of somo avail, and that when Jupiter Phtviua ha« ceased for a while to lavish his watory gifts, and summer has duly mado her appearance, ho may once more reclino on some momty bank, and whilst his brow is gently fanned by tho zephyrs that are wafted from tho shores of the lovely Waitomata, he may not only suffer immunity from the dull monotony of everyday life, but alao be allowed to drink in to his heart's content some of thoßO soul-stirring compositions that are aliko the delight of performer and audience.

Fun for the Boys.

Is the papers lately thoro was ropoitod the case of two boys of eleven who set firo to granaries and warehouses "in order to see tho flare-up." In ono coso tho " poor little fellows threw lighted fusees on to the hay. The result of their amusement was giaro danger to life and serious damage to pro perty. Mr Chanco sent thorn to tho work house for a week, while he made up his mind what to do with them. Poor children ! Let us hope he will not bo too hard upon them for their playful little prank It Is only their innocont littlo way.

A Bad Boy's Diary.

Monday.—Me and Jo Perkins put a tree on the line in front of the oxpresa train. Such a lark, 0, my! didn't it go tlyin' off the rails, and didn't the people holler ! Mo and Jo seed forty dead bodies : and the way a old gentleman wea a-screamin' because he had a whole kerridge pressin1 on his etummick was proper. Tuesday.—Backed tho cat alive in mother's hovin this mornin' and gave the baby a tea spoonful of turpentine. Father's come in and whacked me. I'll mako it warm for father to-morrow.

Wednesday.—Jo Perkins came in and helped me to kill father. Ho was a-drorin the warter out o' the well, and we give him a shove and in he went. Nobody soe him ga, and he's thero now. Won't mother holler when she pul'g the buckwt up and sees father's body in it. Thursday.—(Jot a hold gun and shot two horses and a cow in Farmer 'Opkin's field. Me and Jo Perkins arter that, knocked a little gal down as wa3 goin1 arrants, and took her monoy and went andgotdrunk with it. Jo turned'nasty as wo was gain' home ; I stabbed him with a penknife, and left him in a ditch. I think he's dead, 'cos I kicked him, anil he didn't say nothing. Went home. Mother ain't found father yet ; I told her I think he'd eloped with the gal at the public-'ouso. Mother's gone to bed awful worrittcd. What a lark !

Saturday.—Mother's found father. Ho come lip legs iir3t in tho bucket. I shall put mother down that well, just to pee hor come up legs first. It makes mo larf ao. Went out this afternoon, and bought some gunpowder and blew up the infant school. Never saw such fun before! The kids was a-flyin in all directions. One oome up over the roof, and some of 'em was blowed two fields off. One little gal come down righto' top of old Mrs Jimbles as was passing and is blind. I'm ill with larfin'.

Sunday. —Got up this mornin' rather seedy. Feel low. Didu't know what to do for a spree. Everybody went to church to hear a sermon on the infants as had beer blowed up. I thought what a lark to sot the church a-fire. 1 did it. 0, my ! I shall never forget. The smoke and the flames was beautiful, and to see all tho people a-fitin' and a-hollerin', and atryin' to got out! No pantomine ain't in it with a jolly good fire. I see the parson rush out with his surplus a-fire, and I larfed till I was black in the face. I can't think what to do for a lark to-morrow. I've used up every thing. ' There ain't much in life after all.— "Referee."

Madame Marie Carandini.

One of the most Popular Musical Artists in the Australasian Colonies, writes an follows :— Wellington, New Zealand, February 23rd, 1884. To M. Levy and Co.. Auckland.

Dear 6iirs,—l have pleasure in informing yon tliat I have used St. Jacobs Oil. and llnd much relief in cases of rheumatism, and, indeed, all neuralgic pains.—l am, il«ar eh' 3,) ours truly. Marie Cauanmni.

A Popular Hotel-keeper Made Happy.

Victoria Hotel, Auckland, July 23,1884. Messrs M. Levy and Co.. Auckland.

Dear Sirs,—Suffering from a severe sprain for over a week, I w;is advised to use St. Jacobs Oil, and I new to state th.it after four applica tions tlie swe'ling around >!m ankle disappeared, and nll.p lin left :io that on Oie third day I was ftolo to use my font again as usual —I remain, dearßirs, youra faithfully,

It. F. Luks.

Free from Pain.

Mutual Life Association, Auckland, July 2, 1894. Messrs M. Levy Si Co., Auckland.

Gentlemen,— A liout a month ago I had a very severe nitark of rhi'uinatißin In my riirht urm,so bad, i-i iii'-i, that I coukl scu.-cely lift it without cuuslni; me excruciating pain. I had tried several kinds of liniments without ob tninins-- miy relief. At last I tried St. Jacob* Oil, ami ufter using less Mian half a bottle I fult iiurfcctly free from pain, and up to tho pit S'nt have hud no return of tho trouble. I Jhall always use it in preference to anything I Know in csso of any similar pains, and will cer tiiiniy advisoull Buft'erers to do the same.—l re main, dear sirs, yours truly, ALLISTEK BROWN. Wholesale Depot for Auckland— M. LEVY & CO., Quuiio-sTKKEr, Auckland.

Captain John Traynor, of the United S'ato*, is now well on his way, rowing in a small boat across the Atlantic. He takes with him a dog called Jumbo as companion, and—who knows ?—possibly as victuals Se may jus); as well succeed as far as any harm whi^h th.eambition his Success would inspire in others fs coricernpd. Finality in foolhardiness will never be yea'pfied nniil some ona crosses the Atlantic in a' hencoop with a ohicken for company; perhaps not even tUvn,-" Globe." ■

SPORTING.

PRINCIPAL RACING FIXTURES.

New Zealand. Geraklino U.C. Spring September 25, 26 Hawke's Bay J.C. Spring October 6, 7 Pakiminga Hunt Club Steeplechase Meet ing October 25 Taraniiki J.C. Spring October 2>S WaiiKunui J.C. Spring Nov. 2 Canterhnry J.C. Metropolitan Nov. 11, 13, 111 Auckland R.C. Spring Nov. It Toknpuna J.C. Spring Nov. 25 Wellington R.C. Spring Nov. 28, 29 Dui.cdin J.C. Spring Nov. 2Q, Dec. 1 Australia. V.A.T.C. (Caulfiold) Meeting..October 11 and M V.R.C. Spring November 1, 1, 0, 8

Dates of Nominations, Entries and Accep tances.

Nominations for Sprint; Handicap and Hardies, Auckland Cup. U.einu: Club Handicap, and Steeplechase .. .. Oct. 3

To Correspondents.

F.G.—(lttlma won tho Citullleld Cup la9t year with Sst 21b up. He ran the mile and ii-haK in 2inin. I.see. A.E.F. (Parn 11).—Musket, the sire of Martini Henry, was imported from Knpland, but Sylvia, his dam, was bred in Victoria. Thoh. Poistku (Mercer).—J. line rodo Chandler in the last Autumn Steeplechase, The other starters were Billy-go-by-em, New Year, and Flying Scud. K.U.—Traducer was 'y The Libel from Arethusa, by Klis from Lanuu d. L>y Cain from Lydin, by l Jou'ton from Variety, by Hyaeintluis. The I.ibel was by Pantaloon from Pasquinade, by Cnmel from Hunter. Traducer was foaled in England in IS/>", was imported to New Zealand when seven years old, and was killed at Ohiistelmrch from tho eifecta of a friendly bullet oiHlie 25th June, 1880.

NOTES BY HIPPONA.

TuuitsDAY and Friday noxt will see the opening of tho New Zealand racing soason of 18S4-S5, for on those days the Geruldino Racing Club Spring Meeting takes placo. Tho results of tho leading races will bo looked forward to with a deal of intorcst throughout tho Colony, us they will doubt less give a lino as to tho probablo winner of tho Now Zoaland Cup. Tho names of those engaged in tho principal ovonts aro givon below, and I may mention that tho Handi cap is run on tho first day, while tho Cup comes up for decision oh tho aocond :— Gerai.dink U.C. Handicap. Mlb Dtlh Tasman .. .. It 12 Ttm Whifllor ..7 8 Cheviot . ..!) l! Kiiitfusk .. .7 0 Vanguard .. U 1 Pilgrimage .. 7 1 N'onsensu.. .. il 0 Charmer .. ..7 0 Salvage .. .. 3 il Ugly Uuclc .. 012 July.. .... 8 8 Billy .. . 6 10 lUiblim "" "Cr 8 5 PrinOCßHUonil ■■ « < Sou-Wester ..S3 Spollbrth .. ..0 3 Minerva .. ~ I II

Quiui.niNii Cn>.

Tasrnan .. „ 1 1 Sou'-weator .. 713 Cheviot .. ..94 Tim WhilUcr ..77 Vanguard .. BVI Tho Poet .. ..7 2 Nonßonse .. ~ 8 11 Charmor .. ..0 13 Johnny Faulkner 8 5 Ugly liuolc .. B 11 SalvaßO .. .. S 4 Holuerncss .. fi 7 July .. ..8 3 Orand Duko ..6 2 According to last week's "Koforeo" Sou' wester is favourito for tho Cup at 5 to 1 taken, whilo tho fame odds are offered against Vanguard and Tasman. Krupp and Necklace had a trial over two

miles on the Ellerslio course last Friday

afternoon. Tho pair wore brought homo by Kadamos, and from what I hear the colt had

a deal tho best of it. Two boys wore in tho saddle, but of course it is impossible to fiay what weight each actually curried. Perhaps the wily Chaafo is tho proud possessor of one of those "saddles" that Fcnuelly deceived tho liandwick and I'lemington touts with when training Martini Henry hu-t season.

My readers will be sorry to hear thai

Major Ueorge's colt Wapiti has met with a mishap at Chridtchurch. After hid exorcise one morning it was found t hat hehad sustained v severe strain somewhere in his hin<l quartcrc, and it will necessitate his absence from the training track for some time. Tho withdrawal of The Broker from tho V.X.C. Derby, of whic'i wo wero apprised by cablo on Wednesday, was received with great astonishment in local sporting circles. At last accounts ho was doing excellent work, and it was thought ho wan one of tho few who would bo able to opposo tho Hon. J. White's team with any degree of bucccss. Now that Garfield and The Brokor aro out of tho way, tho chances of a " bluo and white" representative again proving victorious this year bear a most roseato hue.

Nominations for tho Dunodin Cup aro due to-night, and goncral entries and accopt ances for the Hawko's Bay Jockey Club Spring Meeting on Tuesday next. A sweep of lOsovs. is due for tho Guineas.

Tho near approach of tho Geraldino and Christehurch Meetings has caused my confreres in the City of tho Plains to pay early visits to tho racccourso at Riccarton. From their notes of last week I gather that Tim Whilllor is looking fresher than ho has dono for a very long timo pnst, and his stable companion Fusilier is also vory well. All of Dan O'Brien's horses aro doing (jood work, Tiismnn being as full of Ufa as ever, while Johnny Faulkner has vastly improved. Among O'Brien's team is tho hurdle-racer Bordorman, who distinguished himself by

running a good race with tho speody Tron*

ferred afc Adelaide. Tho Poet is Htriding along in his old resolute stylo, and Minerva, Sir Bedivere, and Ike aro all shaping well. July andNnlxon work oach morning in com pany, and Ray has been troating Wolcomo Jack, Nonsense, and Vanguard to usoful gallope.but I notico that tho names of Oudoifi, Livorpool and E?katos are missing from tho list or those in work on tho course. At the private training ground at Yaldhurst, 11.

Mason has Salvago, Turquoiso, Youth, De ceiver, Kingask, and Hippodamia located. The Auckland Cup winner is tho most for ward of the lot, as Geraldino will olaim his attention, and Turquoise, who is standing his work so far, looks healthy in hi-* <• 'it.

For somo time past there has kn.on a doubt whether Krupp would fulfil his en gagement in the Hawke's Bay Guineas, run on tho 6th of next month. The matter is now set at rest, for in a conversion I had with his owner this week ho tells mo that ho has definitely decided upon not sending him down. I may mention that Pearl, bettor known to Aucklandera as Gretna Green, is a hot favourite for the ovent in Napior,and she is stated to be going very well in her work.

When the Hon. W. Robinson left on a visit to Melbourne somo weeks back, it was generally supposed that tho roal object ofjiis mission was to got Ray's dis qualification removed. Tho supposition now appears to bo correct, for we have the news that at at a committee meeting of the Victoria Racing Club it wa* decided to re move tho ban which ha? hung over Ray's head for the past four years. And while speaking o fthe Hon. W. Robirsoi, I may mention that tho stable have entered into oj) arrangement with Derritt to again don the " white jacket and black and gold bolt" during the present season. This is indeed surpriiing when we remembor tho circum stances under which ho was dismissed from tho Grip Lodge service in November last. The Now Zealand Stud Company an nounce in our columns that Musket will stand the season at Sylvia Park for 35 guineas, but owners who havo novor made use of him before will bo charged s<i guineas. The chargo for tho services of Leollnus is

10 guineas, and Cap-a-Pie 5 guineas. As intimated by me a few weeks back, Anteros is to stand in the Waikito district at tho very low prico of 5 guineas. From Christchui-ch I learn that Sou'- Wester has been backed for the Mew Zea land Cup at 100 to 12 to win a few hun dreds, and he still retains pride of place at 100 to 14, though Vanguard and Johnny Faulkner have advanced to 100 to 10, both having met with some slight support. Nelson has been backed to win £500 at 100 to 7. Against Ike 100 to Bis offered, but Sir Bedivere would be supported if 100 to 4 could bo obtained. Necklace U inquired after, and a few hundreds havo been laid at 100 to 5. Ike has gone back a point, 100 to 7 now being on offer. The double victory of Captain Webster at the Dunedin Hunt Club Meeting on Satur day last wjll be tho means of fetching him into a bit of prominence for the New Zea land Cup, lor whioh event ho has tho njco impost of 7st. Captain Webater was got by St. Albans (sire of Malua and Tnstnan) from Pussy, and belongs to the straight going Buntdin sportsman Mr J. Stephen son. Anton),'h son King Arthur was suc cessful in placing tho Steeplechase to his credit.

At Christchurch a few days back, 500 to 75 was taken about Trenton for the Dorby on behalf of his owner, and 500 to 100 on the field is now on offer. With reference to the insinuations that the son of Musket will not be "on the job" for the event under notice, "Senex"hns the following: —I would advise our readers to take no heed of such reports, for I happen to know that Trenton is well backed by his stable, and whether he wins or not, will assuredly speel for tho blue ribbon, and moreover he is looking very pink and much improved in muscular development all over (especially in his forearms) since he won the Champagne in the autumn.

The inquiry held by the committee of the Australian Jockey Club into Sir Modred'a running; at thg recent Spring Meeting gn'ded in the famous Scotch verdict of " not proven." 7 It is stated t]iat after the Metro politan 1,500 guineas was offered for the son of Traducer, put it ivae refused,

For somo day,! port there has been v great run in local circles on Martini-Henry for tho Melbourne Cup.nnd I havo heard of .several backers accepting 100 to 7 about him. While in Sydney during the A.J.C. week, Fonnolly informed "Augur" that the real cause of Martini-Henry's absence from the training track wason account of him having sprung a curb,but that ho had taken it in time and blistered it. The son of Musket, however, is now stated to bo all right again, and doing nice work every afternoon.

Bargo left the paddock a warm favourite in the Craven Pluto won by Sir Modred, but was not in tho hunt. Tho New Zea lander went to the front at the start, and was never headed. It is said the race was not a true-run one, and was literally given to Sir Modred by tho way in which his three opponents allowed Colloy to out goncral them. Hales, who rodo Bargo, was weak and ill from the effects of Ihb fall on " Metrop " day. It is seldom that honours aro so equally divided amongst the sires as was tho case at the late A.J.C. Spring Meeting. Throe races, including tho Derby, were won by the progeny of Maribyrnong; two, the Metropolitan Stakes and tho Craven Plato were credited to Traducer, through Sir Modred ; two to John Bull, and a liko number to Express and Somnus, while the following sires had one winner each: — Grandmaster, St. Albans, Goldsbrough, Tho Tester, Glorious, Malta, King Cole, Kelpie, and Warlike.

The following communication from tho Uunedin Jockey Club has been forwarded to the compilers of tho "New Zealand Turf Record," with a request that it bo pub lished :—" Messrs Whetham and Walker, —Donr Sirs: Tho following resolution passed by tho Committee I feol much pleasure in handing you : 'The Dunodin Jockey Club having subscribed towards the expenses of the publication of tho 'Now Zea land Turf Record,' beg to exprons their entire approval of the highly-satisfac tory manner in which tho book has beon issued by Messrs Whotham and Walker.' Trusting you may have a largo demand for this book,so useful to owners of horses.socro taries of clubs, und all intovested in racing matters,—l am, &c., Svdnkv Jamim, Socre-

tary D.J.C. September 1, 1584." After tho business of settling over the A.J.C. Meeting was concluded at Sydney Tattorsall's, the owner of Off Colour mado inquiries about tho jnico of his horto for tho Melbourno Cup, and mooting with a gonerous response, commonced by taking all tho monoy in tho markot, leaving oil' at 100 to S (tk and wt), 100 to 10 (oil). The noxt sensation was M.

Jacobs accepting all tho monoy Bargo and Plunger at 1,000 to 10 to win £20,000, and ollorod to tnko 10,000 to 300 that ho won the Cup, or 600 to 400 ho beat Oil' Colour for places. A good amount was taken : Bargo and Oil Colour (Dorby and Cup) at 1,000 to.SO. The boil-over par excellence of tho rocent Knndwick Meeting wus tho defeat of Tromando in tho Second Foal Stuken, in which event backers laid the extravagant odds of 4 and 5 to 1 on tho son of Tho Tester, who was ridden by Hales. Tho crack jockoy on this occasion appeared to time his run at least a sceond too late (writes "Vigilant"), us four furlongs from home, Tempo was leading by half-a-dozen lengths, and Tremando is notoriously such a sluggish goer that ho was unable to make up the loss of ground when called upon. As Manrico and Pilot wero beateu by ten lengths, each of the Hon. James Whito's pair must be a good 'un, and if the raco were run over again tho proper odds should bo i-omething liko 10 to 1 on Tromanilo. For the Victoria Amateur Turf Club Foal Stakes, to bo run iv October, IHSS, there aie tiS Melbourne entries, '21 from Sydney and 12 from Adelaide; total, 101. For the Cttulliuld Guineas, 1885, the entries aru •■-Melbourne, 3i»; Sydney, HI; Ade laide, 'it total, 7"). For the Criterion Stake.", to bo run at tho March meeting, ISS.'), ■•!!) Mulliourno entries have been re ceived and S from Sydney.

CONDENSED ITEMS.

(.iuo.'HWork is said to bo looking wonder fully well. Tho steeplechaser Early Bird has been purchased by Mr.l. Pilbrow. Tho Messrs Duder havo King Quail and Niggor in work at tho North Shore, Tho steeplechaser Mustard has been ro named Borrington. Salvo started in tho Freo Handicap at the A.J.C. Mooting, but failed to got a placo. Mr D. S. "Wallace's Chnckstor has gono wrong, and will bs an absonteo from tho Caullield Cup. Mi- .Tames Smith has been appointed secretary of tho newly-formed Wellington Tuttereall's Club. According to " Xemo" Reginald was only half-fit at the A.J.C. and llawkcs bury Meetings. Uoberi the Devil, a full brother to Napper Tandy, is said to bo worth watch ing for tho C'aulliold Cup, Jt in rather a queer fact that each starter for tho South Australian Derby won by Gratitude should be a filly. The Victoria Trotting" Club intend to give a purse of 100 soys. for 2.45 to bo trotted for during tho Cup woek. Tho erstwhile Now Zealand trainer, J. Alonaghan, has had Lo Grand's two-year old sister placed in his hands to train. Mr E. (!. Griffith, of Christchurch has opened an agency thcro for tho ealo and puvchaso of thoroughbred horses and mares. Two young Victorian sports won 1,800 over Hastings in tho Hawkesbury Handi cap through backing him on tho strength of a dream. At the Wyndham Winter Meeting tho other week, tho well-known light weight George Williams piloted Ironmaster to vic tory in the Shire Handicap. Administrator is a warm favourite in Napier for tho Hawko's Bay Spring Handi cap, and Scrutineer and Denbigh aro hold in most esteem for the Hurdles. Gartield was struck out of tho V.R.C. Derby and Melbourne Cup at the Australian Jockey Club office, Sydney, on Thursday, the 28th August, at 12.45 p.m. Mr B. Do Mestro's Robinson Crusoe— Cracker colt has been christened Pilot. He was among tho starters in tho Second Foal Stakes at the A.J.C. Mooting and ran un placed. Old Rovoko (tho dam of Trump Card) re ceived a friendly bullet several days ago, at tho hands of Mr W. C. Webb, of Christ church. Revoko was foaled as far back as 1857.

The Melbourne Cup candidate Coningsby, who has been pretty heavily backed of late, is suffering so sjverely from rheumatism that Mr W. B. Dakin fears it may bo necoa f ary to scratch him. Since Sir Mod red's victories thero has been an inquiry from Sydney with a view to the purchase of his full brother Cheviot. Nothing definite, however, has been done in tho matter so far. McGr.ide's riding of Battailous in the Free Handicap, at tho A.J.C. Meeting, was genprnlly voted to have been tho most artistic bit of horsemanship exhibited during the four days.

Coulstoun has nome into favour for the

Caulfield Cup, and is now a firm first favourite nt 100 to 6. Silvor King ranks second favourite at 100 to 4, and the same price is obtainable about Hastings. Five entries have been received for

Messrs Alcoek and Co. 'c billiard tournament, to bo played during the Caulfield Cup week. The names if the nominators are F. Weiss, J. Byrne, H. Evan«, H. A. Albers, and James.

Hilltop, who ran second to Sir Modred for the Metropolitan Stakes, has been l.nrchnsed by Mr Id, Jacobs. He is en gaged in the Melbourne Cup with 6st. 131b,, and is one of the best favourites for the event.

Tho Adelaide division, consisting of Sir Garnet (full brother to Tho Assyrian), Royal Irishman, Hclene, Anarchy, and Lord Wil ton, have arrived at Flemington for the purpose of being prepared for the Caulfield and V.R.C. Meetings. Mr J. P. Robertson, the new owner of Dirk Hatternick and Tho Broker, has purchased the Kingston estate and training establishment, formerly tho property of Sfebsrs Branch and W'i'Son, for £S,OtMJ, and will train his string of horses there jn future.

Wallangva made some amends for his im different running in the Metropolitan Sfakos by winning the Wnverley Handicap on the last day of the A.J.C Meeting. He beat a field of six, and with 7st 91b in the saddle ran the mile and three-quarters in 3min. ],".]■ sees.

Sir VV, J. Clarke's colt, angler's Gem, by Angler out of Topaz, anil Progress's full sister, My Chw tier, by Angler from Coquette, have '..den thrown out of work, and will not race until they are three years old. This step has br-3ii necessitated by their rapid growth.

The members of Sydney Tattersall'sClub subscribed £250 for presentation to Mr H. Cliiffney, whose stables at Flemington vere recently destroyed by fire. The Club mem bers also subscribed £00 for tho benefit of the jockey English, who was bo dangerously injured at Rand wick.

The Hon. James White was the biggest winner at the recent A.J.C. Meeting *the cheque drawn' in' his favour at the settling being £1,714. Mr Proudfoot came next with £880, while Mr .r. 0. Inglis was third on. the list with £360 against his name. The total amount of the stakes paid away waa£G,3!9, ■ ■, .

FIELD SPORTS AND AQUATICS.

(BY ACT./KON.)

FOOTBALL FIXTURES.

Auckland Rugby Union Programme. September 20 — Auckland v. Wailcato, at Hamilton.

CRICKET FIXTURES.

September 27 — Auckland First Eleven v. Twenty-two Colts. October 4—Auckland First Eleven v. Twenty two Colts.

October 11—West End First Eleven v. Twenty two Colts.

October 18—West End Fir.lt TCln yen v. Twenty two Colta.

October 31—Shaw's Knglish Klevcn v. Aus tralian Team, at Adeleide.

AQUATIC FIXTURES.

October—Oponing of the boating season. October 20—Mattcrson v. Kemp, £iOO a side, on tho Nepean course. November 9-Whau River Regatta. January 29—Auckland Annual Regatta. January—Hanl'in v. Clifl'ord, £500 a-side. Muy- llanlan v. Ueach, iUiOO a-sldo and ohani pionship of the world, on the Puniinatta River, Cliilbrd v. 'I'eeiner, £500 u-uido.

Foot ha Mi for the jiresont season closes with tho match arranged for this aftoruoon be tween Auckland and Waikato ClubH, and those who dovoto their leisure to tho pursuit of athletics are already turning attention to other gamea and sports which ure more closely connected with tho coming season. Cricket apparently will command the most geaeral attention. Various clubs have held thoir annual meetings, at which they wore shown to be in a satisfactory con dition, both numerical ly and financially,and several matches have beon arranged for Sat urday afternoon next. Tho Domain Cricket Ground, excepting where footbull has been played vory recently, is in excellent con dition, and will provide nino or ton excellent "pitches." Tho Association programme lias not yet been arranged, but I expect it will be a very good one. Aquatics noxt occupy attention, and tho coming soaßon should bring Auckland into a most prominent |x>sition bo far as both rowing und sailing are concorned. Sevoral good yachts and v groat vurioty of smaller boats havo been turnod out of tho buildoru' Rhods since last year, and many more are now either underway or ordered. As for row ing, wo havo a moot flattering prospect, the old clubs having imprDved in numbers, while aoTeral now combinations have been iorinod, A tjliort tirao plnco wo could only claim threo organised rowing clubs, viz., Auckland, North Shoro, and Ponsonby, but now there can be added to tho list the Waitomata Boating Club, St. Goorgo'H Bay Rowing Club, West End Rowing Club, Manukau Rowing Club, and Onehunga Rowing Club. All appear likely to command attention during the season, and porno iplendid conte«tß may bo antici pated. Ail, I believe, belong to tho Rowing AHHoclation, and it is to be hoped that all will bo roproHentod both at the open ing of the Beacon and at tho various regattas to bo hold later on. Perhaps I should have added to tho above list tho Rob Roy Canoe Club, which number* obout 20 mombers, who muster 1C or 10 boatn. This Club has not in tho past secured much attention either at regattas or othorwiso outside of its own members, but it is to bo hoped its increasing impor tance will now bring it into a prominent plaoo. The Bicycling Clubs aro also giving wignu of renewed vigour, and a pro giammo of "runs "in very shortly to bo arranged, Then we will havo numerous croquet and lawn tennis clubs revived, which will provido active sport for the indioH a* woll as gentlemen. Lawn tennis, I might mention, in a very populardivernion amongst tho members in Wellington. Their "court" is one of tho finest in tho colony, being all asphalted. Messrs Hurst and Dargavillo uro amongst the mostenthusiastie votaries of tho game. Tho lawn at the Government House hero is bsing prepared for this gamo at considerable expense, and will no doubt bo in demand during tho Boason. Tho proposed revival of tho Athletic Club, if successful, will givo a stimulus to other pursuits, such a* running und walkinginutclioF,etc., so that with other sports in prospect of a variety of character, tho season should prove one of tho best yet exiierienced here. Ouo feiituro of it will probably bo the sending of a cricket team through tho Southern provinces. The matter will bo introduced at the noxt meeting of tho Cricket Association, and will probably bo taken up and carried to a euccessful issue. In conclusion, a word to Becretarioß. All 'Mixtures" and other items in connection with the various clubs should be forwarded to " Act (eon " on Mon day or Tuesday in each week. This will secure the innortion of everything that will be of public interest, and will greatly assist in perfecting this column as a reliable record of " Field Sports and Aquatics."

Sam Dove has finished a lCft. open sailing boat, and will put hor in tho water about a month bonce.

The yacht launchod by Logan last week was a vessel of about 4 tons, built for Cato, of the Thames.

This afternoon Claro intended to launch a now 4J ton yacht for Lomoy, the fisher man.

The grand stand at the Molbourno Cricket Club's ground wan totally destroyed by fire on Sunday morning, August 31. The damago Is estimated at i'O.OUO.

Good fortune did not attend tho Ponsonby Cricket Club during tho last season, and it is more than probablo that it will be very shortly disbanded.

Tho t'loo borrowed by the Ponsonby Row ing Club was got from Mr W, Swanson, who, in the interest of sport, gave it with out exacting the customary interest.

Tho North Shore Rowing Club's new string test will not bo finished until tho Ist of October, and will consequently bo a week later in arriving here.

At tho last annual meeting of the Prince Alfred Yacht Club, Sydney, it was resolved, " That every yacht sailing in a match bo steered by a momber of the Club, etc."

In Englan ', tho 50 miles amatour bicycle championship run for under tho auspices of the National 'Cyclist's Union,was won by F. R. Fry in 2iirs. 51mins. 10 3 usocs,

Tho yacht Sybil has been sold by F. Cramond to W, Boylan. Sho is to havo a thorough ovorhaul, and during tho coming season will be used as a pleasure boat.

Matthews, who built the opon boat Lance, and who has been at Fiji for some time past, returned by tho Penguin last trip. He will probably havo a new boat out for tho coming regal ta.

Irvin, of Rus ..'I, has built a now twenty fe.pt oppn styilii;. boat, similar to tho Apt, and intenda 't" pjapo her in tl)e hands of Sam Dove fur entering at tho coming Auckland Regatta.

Clare has commenced a small G-ton yacht for F. Cramond. Sho is to bo a keel boat something after tho style of the Jessie Logan, but is intended more for pleasure purposes than for racing.

David Livingstone, of Newcastle, New South Wales, has deposited 120 to bind the challenge to William O'Connor, of New Zea^ land, for a running match for £100 or £200 on October 11.

Teemer, who is matched to row Clifford on the Paramatta course for £50Q a-side, defeated Peter Conly at Saratoga on July 4 by a boat's length. Tepmer pulled then at ISSlbs weight, and Conly at IGOlbs,

According to the Wanganui "Herald," Mr C. V. Cross, of that town, is communioat ing with several of the leading cricketers of the colony with a view to tho formation of a New Zealand eleven to visit England next season.

A new string tost; lma already b(\cn ordered by the P.on,sbnby Rowing'Club^m! ivjll probably bo jn uso during the coining season. It is to bo hoped she will turn out hotter than tho last boat, which was by no means a success,

Tho match between Auokland and Waikato football teams whioh was arranged to take place at Hamilton this afternoon was expected to be a very close affair. Waikato counted on soveral fine players.in cluding the old favourite King.

The members of tho Rob Roy Canoe Club are not delighted by the action of the Auck land Regatta Club in leaving a race for their boats out of the ISBS programme. Pro bably some effort will be made to induce them even yet to add it to the other ar ranged evenfo.

Stewart showed to great advantage in the football match last Saturday. His collar ing and general play was really brilliant, and evoked frequent applause from the spectators, who, it may be mentioned, \yere very few in number—probcfcly less thaji 100. ' ' "" ■' v

Tho opening of the boating season will take place probably on the first Saturday in October. I hope the Rowing Association will move in the matter and onsure a good display of boating craft, which it may be remembered was last year, only; con spicuous by its absence,

Tiio f.Kthcomini; uquatie s(!<s»nn, .ays l,!se | ••Town nml >mutry," vl.etl.ci- fi\nn iin j amateur <>v profiwsi'.rm! view, proiiiiai-n to , bo one of tlin most inleres'ting yet cxperi- j onoed in Australia, und judging from tho , list of events to como oil', nearly every Satur day and holiday for nearly a year henco will witness some aquatic gathering. Tlie real ren^on why New Zealand is so proud of Beach a victory over llanlan is to n great extent connected with the fact that the young athletes of Maoridom firmly believe that although Australia can " whip " the world, New Zealand can "whip" Australia, and so on. I only hope their ambition may somo day be realised. Jim Mace intends another visit to the States, accompanied by .JmuCS Taylor, a well-known comic vocalist, etc. They expect to makoasucceas in the amusement world with "Frauds on the Turf, and Scenes on Newmarket Racecourse," intro ducing an English sparring booth and Jim and I'ooley Mace.—" Bulletin." The following are the batting averages of the Australian team in England up to with in a lew days of the departure of the mail : —Alexanders1!, Bannorman 2015, Black ham ISIU, fJonnor 1014, Boyle Oil, C'-oper 90, Oillon 17*1, MeDonnell 1(1 14, Midwinter 21, Murdoch 28*18, I'almor HJ-17, Scott 18-8, Spoflbrthn-9. Rosoberry Football Club defeated Gordon Second by two points to nil last Saturday. This was "the lust match of the season for the former, which is a very promising club. It shows a splendid record for tho season of 13 matches played, 10 won, I) drawn, and none lost. The success is duo to members playing well togethoi and unselfishly back ing up each other. The Auckland Itegutla Club acted very wisely iv deriding that the prize for the whale-bout race at the LSSS regatta should not be less than JL'SO lind trophies. There uro a very large number of Ilicse boats here, and a big prize will no doubt induce all available crews to go into training. The result will naturally be a most interesting race. A very amusing incident in last Saturday's football match played in tho Domain was tho way in vhich Tim O'Connor went over when hit in the face by the Hying football. The Rudden appearance of the leather

seemed to take him quite by mirpriso, and placed him where he is vory seldom found, on his back. Tho incident provoked tre mondous laughter amongst the spectators.

Scow races have never proved a great

success here, although there are nome twenty or thirty of these vessels owned by city firms. Consequently the rano had a narrow escape from being struck off the Auckland Kegatta Club's preliminary pro grammo, and that may yet bo its fato if greater Interest is not taken in tho matter by owners than has beon hitherto shown.

Bob Whiteside ncvor appeared to so little advantage as he did on Saturday afternoon last. The gamo was a vory open one, and he could not have had a better opportunity to display his ficetness, but yet ho never scored onco, and cannot bo credited with even taking proper interest in tho game. Ho wan not alone in this respect, however, and tho game from start to finish was dull and of very littlo intorcst.

At the Sydnoy Water Polico Court on the sth itist., the master of the steamer Florrie Ellison was fined £3 and £2 2s costs for fol lowing tho llanlan-Reach race and getting so close to (he competitors as to be in danger of interfering with them. The Magistrate informed the defendant that ho was liable to a penalty of (-100 fortheolTcnce. but he was let off lightly as the Marine Board did not press for a heavy fine.

Alfred Shaw still maintains his reputa tion as a bowler of the first rank, his manipulation of the leather recently against Gloucester being worthy of his best day. Owing to his extraordinary bowling, the county of the Graces were all disposed of for 70 runs. On the lir = t day of tho en counter his solitary wicket cost him 40 runs, but in the second innings he made amends for his want of success by bagging S wickets for'JS runs.—"Sydney Mail."

I understand that (.lie Auckland and Ouuhuiiga Rowing Clubs aro taking an in terest in the proposed Wliau Regatta, and if tlila ie the c;iso it may provo of great in terest. There is aHplcudid stretch of water on the Whan River, where the us'ial trouble which arises hove in rough weather will be almost entirely absent. The programme as published in a {food one, and should induce suliiciont competition to make a good day's sport. There is every probability thatthe Thames will furnish a crow for the whaleboat race at tho next Auckland Regatta. Stop* have been taken for the formation or a rowing club there with this object in view, and will in till likelihood lead to tho desired issue. Tim Savage has received instructions to commence aw haleboat and havo her ready for launching at the end of next month, In selecting the crew thcro aro plenty of men to chooso from who havo already won various distinction?, amongst them being MessrsNowdick, Thomas, Savage, Mcl'itse, Wilson, and numerous others.

In the recent football match between Canterbury and Otngo, which was won by the former with a goal against their op ponents' two points (ono try), the following players took part:—Canterbury : Full-back -J. Fleming ; three-quarter-backs—A. J. Chapman, E. L. Francis, J. C. T. Grigg ; halfbacks —G. It. Holmoro and A. lies;

forwards —H. J. Beswick, B. D'Auvenrne, J. Hoban, G. Hutton, B. G. Fooks, R. D. llarrman, J. McLean, W. V. Milton (cap-

tain), and E. D. Milton.—Otago : lull-back

— Rus«oll; quarter-backs—Bannayno, Gal braith, and Murray (captain); half backs —Alexander Allan and Taiaroa ; forwards

— J. Allan, Drabble, Mills, Nicol, Rattray, F. Smith, Wales, Sharnc, and Strong. The gaino is said to havo been ono of the best contested ever played between the two provinces, and was played with the utmost good feeling throughout, The West End Rowing Club is now in full swing, with over 60 members, and should, during tho coming season, come into pro minence in its own particular sphere. The Club's shed is to bo erected on a site kindly granted them by Mr Evans, of Ponsonby, and by the Harbour Board, and two gigs have already been ordered. Fuller, of Melbourne, has the building of anew string test, to bo supplied with all tho latest im provementK aud delivered in about (i weeks' tiino. "'This craft will cost tho Club about £25. Tho second boat will bo prooured from tho Sydney Rowing Club. She is nearly new, and will bo a very suitablo boat for practising. Tho latter will be here in timo to permit the Club to bo represented at tho opening of the boating season in Oc tober. The West End includes m^ny gaod oarsmen and men of energy, and i li'opo to poo it go ahead with unusual success.

Referring to the trouble which has

arisen rethoHanlan-Bonch match, "Typhus" writes in tho Sydney " Mail " ;—" Weigh ing both sides of the question, it is clear that tho blamp of not clinching; the cham pionship mntuh does not lie altogether at the door of Beach. Hnd Bench so -vished he could havo made a match weekss t with Clifford, in answer to tho lattor's eh il enge, published in tho daily journals a day or so after the Hanlan-Heach race, but ho waived that, as ho publicly stated, in order to give Haulan the lirst chance of regaining the lost title of champion of the tvorld, which mark of attention Hanlan shows his ap preciation of by first selecting a day and month a considerable time bgyond, th,as at which Beach was open tc row hj m on the plea of excessive hot weather, and then agrees to row Clifford during that very same sultry weather which he fancied would bo too hot to row Beach in,"

Some reports of tho late football match between Auckland and Thames Clubs which appeared in tho " Herald " appear to havo boon unfavourably received in the " city of gold." The Hon. Secretary of the Thames Uub,_ who acted as yoferco on that auspicious occasion, writes to say that there wore- no disputed tries, that the Auckland team s lowed eft side play from commencement of the match until tho finish, th.it as to the ground being bad, football matches were played there every evening (woathor per mitting), and that the result of the game was a draw, as '«owing to the Auckland team, claiming a touch for a livo ball they failed to score." In conclusion the referee (who I forgot to mention before is Air Q H White) says ; " I may state that wo are open at any time to moot a team from tho Auck land Football Club.providing that they will confine themselves to members of their own club, which they did not on the last occa sion."

I have hnd handed to mo a letter con taining sugjveMioiur by "a lover of athletics," .vlnch coiii.v.iis the iulinwin:' iwrnineudu tions:-"Tbat on a Saturday afternoon (say the 27th inst.)an athletic meetin" lie neltl on the Domain Cricket Gs-qwud, tg £oa fist of a soiatch football nwch. (iiy two'2o minutes), tt\g-ai-\ya,r, hundred yards race qi',artor-,inUp race, half - milo yaco. and Lucyco. race. Tho proposed inaugural cricket m«iteii Of the season would be an ftUrastion in another pait of the ground Would not this be a good way of windin" up the football season, and opening that ol cricket and other sports ? There is surel" sufficient enthusiasm amongst us to ensure numerous entries, and I fchin| we. can count on a praa for each event being presented by those who dgsiro to foster athletics.

will i.romiM! oils. Let .... internet bu mndu lo charge for admimian to the Kiuund, but 11 -t us i.'iidc.-ivaurto jlopulariseaihloticsports, usifl fcheio ia no doubt that when we need lo ,■!-'■. for MtiLvcriplionfl at the gates we will moot with it hearty response."

A splendid specimen of local yacht-build ing was on view during the week at liailey's shed. She is called the " Maia " (moaning brave or plucky), and she has been built to the order of Mr Butler, of Welling ton. The internal and external finishing is of a, most [esthetic description, and her length is 21 feet; she i.? diagonal built, of cedar, with brass mountings, is "ram" bowed, and should prove a splendid pleasure-boat. While in the shed, I was asked to interview tho " Masher," and in spection proved this to be a really grand model of v new yacht, the dimensions being —length, 24ft. Gin.; depth, ;!ft. Gin.; beam, Bft. This craft, also, is " ram "-bowed, and in fact has a most rakish appearance. She i.j built of inch kauri, with solid pohutukawa timbers, and as tho name im plies, lia-; evidently been modelled with an eye to the beautiful. The owner, a well known umatcur yachtsman, from l'onsonby, expects to have tho "Masher" in her natural clement in about three weeks, and as she looks as if built to go, although only a pleasure yacht, no doubt some interest will attach to her first appearance.

THE GARDEN.

[By Homos,]

Calendar of Operations, September 20.

(Hoktuh is willing to answer any queries. Cor respondents must give- their full uaiues and addresses, though not for publication.)

TO (!OKKK»i'(JN])ICNTS.

UIJIIMNU I.KAF OH lil.lllHT IN J'K.VCII TItUKS (.s.AI.) Thi-re itn: two onuses of disease from wlilcli pencil I risen sillier— one is from an apl.H wliicii attacks I.lie Uowel'B. Before the Irci-s coini) into llowur they should receive two or Hii'oo heavy syringes with tobacco Wiiiur. Hoil one puiiml of tobacco with one gallon or wator ; droncli every part of the true with tlii.i before (lowering, anil once after the flow.: B uro urn. This mixture should kill the aphis. '1 ho second is the curl. The leaves ol peurh trees are attacked by a fungus, whicli ims been nuiiiud 'l'apkvlna dej'vnnans. The lieoi remedies lire to Slimulate the trees to make a vigorous and liualthy growth with applicutious of hard wood ashes and flowers of uiiljihiir t.j the ulfectcd leaves, always apply ing wlicn tho leaves are wet, after v rain, or early in the morning, wlule the dew is on. I'oiush in some form is one of the best fertili sers known for the peach, and for this reason 1 would recommend liberal applications of wooil allies whenever they can be obtained. Qlaiuoma (R. 0., Ponsonby).—Yes; plant out your bulbs now. This is about the proper sea aon. Reserve the most dormant of the bulbs b-ueccßsion of flowers prolonged duriug the blooininx bcuso . Don't lift your tulip 3 till Die haulm is properly ripened off. As long as vhe foliage 1b green it is still conveying nutn maiii t'j the bulb; any loss of such will weaken your llowers next scosun. Manuhk (Vegetable, North Shore). — It hat n-,vcr been my lot to sue ground in the colo nies too rieli for the growlh of most vegetables. Ut course, ground for ])otaloes could be manured 10 uuch an extent that they would go all lo haulm and form large hollow-hearted tubers; but it is not often we Bee soil manured to such an extent here; It is iißiuilly the reverse—too little manure is applied. Mostly all the other vegetables will be belter in soil where manure is employed to any extent. The Chinamen get credit for being coud kitchen gardeners; to they are, but look at what quantities of manure they put In the sol; that ia onu of the reasons ol Ihull* success.

Kitchen Garden.

Tin; season is advancing now. Every exer tion must be made so as to net in the seeds of ull the different vegetables for main crops. Oiiicus, if not already town, should be sown at once. Make the usual fort nightly sowing of mustard, cress, and radishes forsaluding. Peas sow every three weeks for succession, Earth up .early potatoes, plant intermediate varieties Plant a few more cabbage and cauliflower ; earth up those that are growing. Sow a small patch of seed of each for planting Inter. Sow main crop of leeks, turnips, Carrots, onions, and parsnips. Cucumbers, melons, pumpkins, and tomatoes potted off commence to harden off for planting out. l\.t oil' those that are still requiring it. Prepare a bed for pricking of the celery plants into. Make up a (lut bed of stable manure, about six inches deep, cover with nli-jut three inches of good rich soil; prick oil' your young celery plants in this, about four inches apart, water and shade for a few day.-. The plants will make splendid roots in the above for planting out into the trenches later on. Dig and manure all ground which was under crop during the winter. Let it lie for a week or so, that it may get properly sweetened for the late crops. Thin out all advancing crops a6 they may require it. Earth up those that require this mode of cultivation whenever they become large enough. Seeds coming through the soil must receive attention so that the slugs do not destroy them all. Frequent applications of lime at night will keep the pest in cheek, lieep the hoe con tinually going so as to keep weeds undor,

Flower Garden.

Whenever the weather is tine and the Boil in a good state, sow extensively all the dif ferent hardy annuals. Have the soil hrought into a tine state before sowing jn. clay soils. Try and procure soifle good compoßt for placing on tho ground whero the seeds are sown, ilso use a little for covering them up. Sow all the tall growing varieties at the b:\ck of the boarder, dwarf varieties at the trout. Consult your seedsman's catalogue, so that tho bright colours, etc, are artis tically arranged, that you may have as tine an effect as possiblo, during the flowering period. Continue planting out bulbs for successive flowering. Dahlias, plant out the old bulbs; divide and pot thosi? placed under glass. Commence placing out the bedding plants, arranging them aocording to their bright colours and space of ground they will occupy individually. Camellias, pick off the dead blossoms, and slightly prune back those that are dono Dowering. Fork over the surface soil s,bout their roots, and manure slightly with well-rotted manure. Analeas, give a slight watering with liquid manure. Lo>k after the dif ferent annual seeds as they come through the ground. The slug* are very fond of them, and if a,ttontion is not given them by liuiiiijr, they will destroy them, and the seedsman get blnmed for bad seed. Fre quontly hoo and stir the surface soil, so as to koep weedu under. Lawn : Constant at tention must bo given to tho. lawns iioiv by mowing and rolliv^g frequently for the next two monies, Walk, hoe, rake and roll.

Greenhouse.

Now is tho time to give tho house the usual spring overhaul. [Have alHhe glass and woodwork thoroughly washed ami cleaned with soap mul water. Look well into every orovioo oi the heuse, so that you may kill as many of the insect post as possible, also their larvte. Kepaint all woodwork if necessary. After the house hus recoived an overhaul, commence re putting all the stock plants, giving some of them larger pots, reducing the balls of others, and potting fa smaller pots. Tuber ous-rooted plants, such as gloxinias and tuberous-rooted begonias, shake off all the soil from their roots, and pot into smaller sized pots, using different composts for the diflei-ont class pln.nje. they nearly all require different el^ soils to grow weft in. btr^o cglov-,;, cuttings, using almr^ mA for striking , »U potato a goad rich compost. Geraniums and I'olergonunns in pot keep near the glass; give sulhcicnt water and air. All plants coming into flower place in the most con spicuous part of the house. Ferns, shade during the hottest part of the day to prevent tho young frouds getting scorched by the sun.

To Destroy Slugs.

When I began gardening as an amateur I was pestered with slugs. I went in for keeping my garden as neat as pos sible, and picking every weed off as soon as it made its appearance ; but I found that while I was picking the weeds as fast as they came, something else was picking the plants just as fast, and as thoroughly lho slugs Mere at work, and when there was nothing on tlio beds but the plants they soon made a clearance. I was advised to try lime and I tried it, and for a few days it was eflective ; but as soon as rain came and it was thoroughly slaked, the slues marched over it with impunity. I thin adopted tho following plan : _| put son" lumps of quicklime fresh from the kiln iato a barrel ot water-say half a bushel o£ lime or thereabouts-mid left it till (he efferves he bottom. 1 pvo tW seed b& a good VWvißg With this solution, and the results Voreus amazing as they wore gratifying, ilie lime-water suited my vojnsr nWt* ?,-, perfection helped on their giwhi| and did ioi the slugs completely. By day slues bury themselves in the beds which they \!y waste by night, but the lima-water follow* them into their holes and destroy* them Let your readers who aro troubled with slugs try this plan when young seedlings are anpetong, tad they willnot be much tvoubW with slugs. If IhetfJ^ita^S watered over a few times in the fp rin» I think it very probable that they wilf be free

This is ono of Mm mo.<t wholo*nmo vege tables t.hfit cfin bo 'frown, if. is not ne.'irlv hi i .\'!'i:sivcly cii'r.ivalo.i a.-, if right !./ bo. Tlirv are easy oi' cultivation. Sow a short drill in September, cow pretty thick and cover the seed about half an inch deep. Throughout October have a good piece of ground deeply wrought, giving it plenty of manure. Some time in November the leeks will be ready for transplanting. Plant them ill rows fifteen inches apart and ten inches from plant to plant. When dibblii g them in, put their stems pretty deep in the ground ; afterwards keep the ground free of weeds and give frequent waterings with liquid manure. When they have attained some size, draw the earth up about their stems so as to obtain a good length of blanched stem. (»ood leeks can be grown in the above manner. To grow very large leeks, ttke out trenches the same ns for celery, but only about eighteen inches apart and about, vino inches deep ; when finished put plenty of manure in the bottom of the trench. Plant the leeks in this trench about a foot apart, earlh up as they grow and give plenty of liquid manure. Very large leeks can be grown by following the above.

Plant Potting.

Formerly, under the old system of grow ing pot plants, the object was to try and grow tine specimen plants in large pots. Those were frequently only grown to till the house they were produced in, or occasionally to figure at a ilowor show. But the recently developed taste for indoor decoration has so stimulated growers for the market that they now produce marvellously well-developed specimens in small pots. In these pots the plants have only a limited root space, which soon get:< tilled with roots. The plants are afterwtmln fed with some of thi! soluble manures now so much in vogue. Plants grown under this system not only flower better, but also retain thoir (lowers and foliage much longer than plants grown in large pets. I'huits in largo pota grow more freely ; hence, when they are beginning to ilowor, and aro taken from the greenhouse for house decoration, they will not «o well stand the altered conditions of sun, light, and air as plants grown in smaller pots, which being more hardy are not so so likely to get damaged by inatten tion to watering. A plant in a small pot will at once show by its foliage flagging that it wants water, whereas a plant in a large pot with a quantity of cold, inert soil nbout its roots is in far greater danger of injury from careless watering, sometimes receiving too much, und sometimes too little. A plant suflbred to get into bad health through over-abundant moisture at the root ia not so easily brought round again. In I\ew Zealand the greenhouse accommo dation is limited ; the uso of small plants in small pots consequently gives the grower a better opportunity with tho space at com mand to keep up a far more extensive col lection, thus enabling the grower to pro vide a better and more varied supply for the dwelling-house. The small pot is therefore by far the best. It is surprising how well even a lnrge plant can ho maintaiaed in good condition with a small quantity of soil if liquid manure bo properly applied. A great number of plants which aro now extensively used for decoration purposos, such as coleus, dracfenaß, palms, and other fine foliage plants, will grow equally well in small pots, if not bet ter than in large ones. Theuo aro also the best class of plants to grow whore there ia a large demand for decorating, as they best withstand the changes which they havo to undergo.

CLIPTOMANIA.

[Specially Selected jsy Odk Loxdon

CORItES;'OXI>ENT.]

At a largo private dinner party in Favr York lately, tiny gilded dust-pans did duty as menu cards. The bill of fare was painted in blue letters on the pan itself, with the guest's name on the handle.

An association offers prizes of £700 and £:iOO lor thetwobestnon-alcoholicbeverages Competitors must submit a sample of not less than three gallons of their article, with a-tatement of its ingredients, and the eoßt must not exceed £3 per 100. gallons of Eng lisli measure.

Apparently inexhaustible beds of truffles havo, it is said, just been discovered in the native oak groves of California. They are grubbed up, as in Europe, by muzzledho°-8 This will be grand news for the gourmands of the future, though not so acceptable, perhaps, to the geese of Strasburg. A speculator in Norway intends, it ig stated, to attempt the introduction of whale moat as an article of food. He lately gave a "whale1 * dinner.at which he claims to have> proved that the flesh may be cooked in, numerous different, ways to form wholesome and delicious dishes, equal to the best turtle, beef, or chicken.

Here is something for tho onponentß of tobacco. In ]S7S 611 manufacturers' [fences wore paid for ; in ]SS3 the number had fallen to 561, a decrease of nearly 10 p'-r cent, 302,129 dealers' licence were taken out in IS7S, but only 290,415 in 18S3 a diminution of more than 4 per cent. The contraction of the wholesale and' retail tobacco trade in the more, remarkable in view of the increase of population in tho United Kingdom. i The discoveries of the Greely Search Expedition may well be called marrellouß, since they included a glacier 100 miles long. If the glacier could only have been towed southwards, and moored off New York, it Wight have cooled the drinks of that torrid i city very agreeably for a few months. As it remains i?i situ, the discovery, like many others in the Arctic regions, is more mar vellous than valuable.—" Globe." There has been published in Paris tha Anti-Pourboire," a journal devoted to the : destruction of the system of universal "tipping"that prevails in that city An unfortunate newsvendor, offering the journal for sale outside the cafd on the Boulevard jup,ucmes' waa set uPon by the waiters ' and kicked and cuffed in a merciless fas!-ion He talks of bringing an action for ddlnases against the proprietor. ' c f««Th » f? lZ ingi >U^ V °3 of 'fashions in faith, rfnottruMs.atleast "Svell invented"; i,°JtT^ t fashlonab'-e Brighton board- Hq %?i to, new P«Pil from Bolgravia, on you go to St.-—^ when you are at home, my dear ?" N<j W pupil (art. 12): "Oh, we don't go to church anywhere, Miss— lou see, gamma's an Agnostic, and papa's an Eso^ono Buddhist." Tableau ~,-*> *ram, e r P? Mi has Sl'gned an agreement VVto Mr Mapleson to eing in America in the autumn. Although she docs not leave tilt November, she lias already received £1 60ft iii cash, and is to have £3,000 more in October. In addition to this, security is to be given for a further sum of £10,000 before she sings a note. The remuneration is to be at the rate of f SOO for eacli concert and all expenses paid.—" Truth." Tho .young person who lent her charms to grace the character of Lady OSodiva in last years procession at Coventry has had her daring achievement commemorated w ;th ■. ft beautifully illuminated add.; eSS <" a Duhlin Mark of the appreciaMo,, 3t£ dufiEl dpZi?«.,9ons^ring that the character , .ru: -odiva is personated in a costume * •«oh consists mainly of a sweet smile and a timid blush, it may not be indelicate to suggest that a dress would have been a more suitabk testimonial than an address — " York Tos 1."

An American paper, speaking of Mrs Langtry s jewels, says : "It is «ry doubfi' ful if any professional beauty ha/ had Pd valuable a collection as the Jersey love'inert, Pauline Markham was peculiarly n,fted £ bracelets, and she posseseda Hne SnottonS talent for earrings. Adah Isaacs MeZfl also reached some of the higher walks ofar* in hair-pins and jewelled eSmbs, bat to .llustnous exponents of hfetrionfcm never, witliall tiieir skill, attained to diamond met? laces and coronets of rubies." "Thejaice.on th«.b," said a clerk in tat Ameijwn. R to V e piling up a, rerammt of sili,, '(is quite decollelte," " What saM ihrolleite I said ... „ y I know what thcolMtc. sneans!" "its. mada.no, Ido " "\ Vel l, I think yon are nS taken." "Oh, no, I am not." " VV>. at does it mean \»- •' It means e «t lo^ an d hats whati tho matter with th' o ™ { cc 2

known^ B\ Br;lIla '"- nffecnonately >?lr nV Vf ,0f fl*enJs aml associates^ JH ,rl e> lHetl last week> a-ed rather over ■'^y years. He was a brother of the late Siirah Countess of Waldegrave, and many ot his songs were snog by himself and others at her ladyship's parties. Charlie was also an art collector, and he dabbled in pictures and curiosities. A few months after the death of his father, the famous tenor, in IS3G, he appeared en tho sta<»o of Her Majesty's Theatre m a tenor, Lumley's company then including Piccolomini, Johanna Wagner* Alboni, and Maria Tagiioni. Only two years ago (he went to America, but did not appear in public. Amoncr Braham's treasures which passed into " Cherubino's " hands is the oriffbal Memoirs of the Kit Cat Club, with tho forty-eirht portraits on steel from Sir God froy Kiwllpi-'s rnintii.p*. The book was a preeentHtion copy h, !.»,.. father, JoJmjw

THE AUCKLAND EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1884

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