STAR SATURDAY SUPPLEMENT.

RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamxel.]

Some write, a neighbour's name to lash, Somo write—vain thought!—for needful cash. Some write to please tin: country clash, And raise a din. For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun. Since " all the world's a stance," it is little matter for wonder that stage atf'airs have, (luring the past week, been occupying the mind.s of all the world and hi.s wife in the city of Auckland. The stage occupies a high position in our midst, being generally employed as an agent of moral and intellec tual elevation, and rarely, if ever, prosti tuted to baser and sensual ends. The

long season of the l'omoroy Company, which lias just been brought to a close, embraces a record of tiie most gratifying stage triumphs. For four weeks the "legi timate drama has occupied the boards of the Opera House ; the plays produced have been mostly Shafcesperian and classical ; yet there has never been a more successful dramatic season in this city, whether from the standpoint of artistic ex cellence or that of public patronage and approval. Such a season forms the best apology for the existence of the stage as a medium for teaching the great lesson that

" tho way of transgressors is hard," that viitue and right arc beautiful, and to be admired even i.i adversity, and for im pressing the moral truth that

" Honour and shame from no condition rise ; Act well your part—there all the honour lies!" I do not disparage the efforts of other com panies who cater more for the amusement than the instruction of the public, for such performances are as legitimate and beneficial in their way as the higher efforts of dramatic art. Chiefly, however, do I esteem the popular appreciation of the severe and classical drama as a symptom of elevated taste and healthy moral tone; and I trust that our citizens', nowover much they may be tickled by "a little nonsense now and then," will never fail to stamp with heartiest approval all attempts to raise the status of tho stage to the highest ideal of its most fervent admirers.

The di-hut of Mi^s Mariebel Greenwood, happening at the close of such a season, took place under the most favourable aus pices. In any connection, the first ap[>ear ance on the dramatic stage of an Auckland born girl of thirteen would have been sure to arouse universal interest ; but that in terest was intensified by the knowledge that such a capable actress as Miss Pomeroy had formed a high opinion of the budding geniuK she had helped to develop and direct, and had, in a sense, staked her own reputa tion upon the success of her pupil. The result, »o far, if it has not justified extrava gant anticipations of " a second Adelaide Neilson," has been vnost flattering to Miss Greenwoodand her talented preceptress. The vast audiences that have nightly assembled when the Auckland debutante appeared as Juliet or Ophelia have been most indulgent in their judgment. Among his own people a prophet is criticised, scouted, leviled, or martyred; but in her native town, this young actress has been lauded, applauded, commended, and crowned with a triumphal wreath. (Rationalistic friends will observe how much nicer it is to "come out" as an actor than as a prophet, and will please note the different methods employed by "the Church" and " the world" in welcoming new exponents of truth.) It is fair to assume that in bestowing their plaudits the Auckland public have done so as much in view of future possibilities as in recogni tion of present attainments, and have,while praising Miss Greenwood, intended to tlatter their amourpropre in belonging to a community from which such a prodigy could spring. But after nil allowance is made—after Miss Pomeroy has received her portion of the credit attaching to the debut —after Auckland and its people have abstracted t'neir full share of borrowed lustre from the performances—there remains a substantial measure of success, a genuine meed of approbation, which Miss Green wood is entitled to appropriate to herself. " Zamiel" does not indulge in fulsome adulation; he believes that

" From man to man, or c'en to woman paid. Praise is the medium of a knavish trade ;"' but as approbation is one of the strongest incentives to excellence, he trusts that Auckland's rising geniuses, while they are not spoiled by the injudicious praise of ad miring friends, will never be soured by the indifference of a careless public.

An amusing feature of Miss Greenwood's advent on the stage has been the contro versy as to her age. Those who have seen her tall, well-formed figure, her expressive features, and wealth of raven hair, might well be pardoned for being sceptical as to her age, even though they had not witnessed an exhibition of her musical and dramatic gifts; but I should have thought that an extract from the Registry Office would have silenced all doubters. The rampant scepti cism of the present day, however, is unsatis fied with proof which would have convinced a dozen Thomases of the olden time, and there are still, I fear, not a few who scout as im possible the idea that Miss Greenwood was only 13 years of age last December. The most stubborn inndel is the " Herald's" dramatic critic, who spoke doubtingly ot the debutante's " reputed age," despite the fact that a year ago the " Herakl" had demonstrated by documentary .evidence that she was bora jn 1870. The testimony of the critic's ©yea, it seems, contradicted ■the written record, and for aught I know he still prefers the evidence of those delu sive organs to the wans! of Lord,

Some irather striking parallels between •the first.appearance of llariebel Greenwood and that of the celebrated actress Mary Anderson ooeur to me, .s.nd may be worth recording. Miss Andercjon, like our own Mariebel, sprang from a young community, and she made her dtlmt in the character of JuKet, thoug-h at « -Slightly more ad vanced age, being 15 yeait of age when she first appeared before the Jootlights. The most remarkable coincidence, however, is •that both Mary and Mariebel re ceived, at the outset of *keir career, warm approval and encouragement from an able actress. The youthful Miss Anderson, I am informed, waa taken by her friends to give a private reading before Charlotte Cushman, the well-known American *ctress, and the judgment of the latter ?a<Jy was most commendatory. Her words vt ere—" I shall live to see Mary a great actiess : she has got that already which most of us have to toil for years in acquiring'" All my readers know the equally flattering eulogium •jyhich Miss Pomeroy pronounced upon

Mariebel (Ireenwood, and the more daring prophecy which she has uttered as to her future fame. Women, as a rule, are actuated by ungenerous sentiments towards rivals of their own sex, and when freedom from such jealousy is found, the presump tion is either nobility of character on the part of her who praises, or outstanding genius on the part of the one praised—or perhaps both. So may it be in this case, and may the anticipation of .Miss Pomeroy, like that of Miss Cushman, be fully realised ! It will be no small honour if the first actress of real genius produced by the Australasian Colonies should spring from our own city of Auckland, and should have gained her first laurels on the Auck land stage. Whether Maribel Greenwood is destined to be that actress, remains for the future to unfold. One course, which would complete the parallel with Mary Aiiti-.-i-euii, I \i-ould iiClvisc her ii tul.i.. After her ilibut, lot her keep away from the stage for several yearn, during which time tastes, and sex occupy her mind, that her life bo not spoiled by the obliteration of the evergreen recollections of a happy child hood, and her natural impulses checked by artificial restraints, or obscured by an over weening vanity—dangers only too imminent to one so young exposed to the plaudits and adulation which have fallen to her lot during the past week.

To Kooti's triumphal parades are a most obnoxious outcome of that arch-iuffiun's reprieve from the hangman's noose. Xo doubt he was ill-used in being shipped off to the Chatham Islands without a fair trial, but the bloodthirstiness of his subsequent proceedings disposes me to the belief that the instinct of the officer who seized him as a rebel and cut-throat was not far astray. When the telegraphic message vaguely announced his intended pilgrimage to Judea and Jerusalem, a person unfamiliar with these unhallowed suburbs of Tauranga —which, by the way, has also two Jordans —might havethought ita proof of theliuman butcher's desire to bring himself en rapport with sacred associations. The intimation that the band were more attracted by the allurements of a suburban "pub" than by all the waters of Judea, how ever, quickly dispersed that illusion. Tho most nauseous pill M- Bryce's native policy has given us to swallow is the countenancing of this murderer of helpless women and children as a reputable subject of Her Majesty, and, while I have no doubt the act was wise under the circum stances, if Te Kooti will persist in osten tatiously parading himself about European settlements, flouting banners and accom panied by a crowd of noisy admirers of his exploits, it will hardly be possible for the law to protect him from the just wrath of some of those colonists who remember the massacre of November the Oth, 186 S.

The occupants of the pit of the Opera House on Monday night were grievously exercised in spirit. A number of people, in cluding several of the weaker sex, who had been admitted to the stalls, were unable to find sitting accommodation, and therefore stood in a body in the central passage, thns intercepting the view from the remoter regions. The "gods'" were not slow to mark their severe displeasure of this pro coeding by a perfect cacophony of noise. Loud and hoarse yells of " Chuck him out,"

"Sit down," "Clear the gangway," were mingled with shrill whistles--, hootings, groans, and hisses, which were sustained with unabated vigour until the curtain rose. Then the hubbub became quite in describable. The "goHs" >iade a tremen dous effort to fret rid of the obstructionists. They clamoured angrily for their removal, hurled at them derisive remarks, plied them with comic suggestions, and finally called for the return of their money. Meanwhile the objects of this outcry stedfastly maintained their ground. The players, seeing no prospect of the uproar ending,began the first scene, and this tactic effected the long-desired result, for the aggrieved disturbers of the peace, perceiv ing that they were no longer heeded, lapsed into quietness, so that they should not, at any rate, miss the dialogue. At the close of the first act, however, the disturbance was renewed quite fiercely, but very soon it assumed an entirely different phase. The "gods"' began to champion the cause of the women who were standing, and to make it exceedingly lively for the young bloods of the male persuasion who occupied the nearest scat?, and who declined to re cognise the rules of good breeding that were roughly quoted to them from the pit. One young man was requested not to advertise his washerwoman by displaying so much front; another who exhibited plenty of collar was advised to take off that adorn ment of the neck and tie it round his waist: while a third, whose disgust was pictured in his face, was consoled with the informa tion that he might hire himself out to d chemist to stand at the door and make people sick. Then the " house " was called to witness that no ladies were allowed to stand in the "pit," and its male denizens consequently loudly protested themselves the only gentlemen present- Constant dropping wears away the hardest stone, and the fusillade of badinage, jest,and jeer achieved its object in the end. One by one seats were reluctantly resigned to the tired females, and as each victory was noted a terrific whoop of exultation arose from the hosts of the pit, tending to the utter con fusion and foolishness of such Bpecimons of masculine humanity ac had been content to allow their reputation for gallantry to go by default.

A few days ago a really smart young ■couple appeared m Court to give evidence in a case brought under the Licensed Act, in which the licensee was charged with selling a long glase of beer on a certain Sunday. The young man, it appeared, had not had more than a year'-s experience of married life ; but he was a "thirsty soul," and did not make his nice-looking partner the confident of hie hopes and iears. On this particular Sunday he was dying for a long glass; his partner endeavoured to satisfy him with a glass of the pure element, and subsequently with a cup of tea, associ ated with lump sugar and one or two kisses. The tea, sugar, and kisses -were expended for nought. The " thirsty soul * still longed for a long glass, and -slipped out by the bock way as the church belLs ceased to sound their evening welcome. He was missed in a twinkling, and on went bonnet and shawl, and the little woman, -with her penetrating black eyes, was eagerly in pur suit of the temporary fugitive in quest of the long glass. He, poor fellow, -srae in a liquid quandary, with an imaginary long glass before him. Had ho told his wife, her invention would have solved the diffi culty quicker than logic. The wit of woman has been praised and her beauty sung by poets, but in numerous instances

her instincts are quicker and keener than her reason. The young man rushed onward from (!rey to Victoria-street, gave a sharp look round, saw no one, and popped into a tavern with a lie upon his tongue : and by the aid of the lie that lie was a bona fide traveller, he succeeded in getting the coveted long glass on Sunday. But the young wife's eyes were upon the loved one, and the story of the long glass was whispered into the susceptible ear of ;i constable. The young husband had a narrow escape of being charged with obtaining beer under false pretences, and was seriously informed that on Sunday evenings in future he must employ more honourable means of allaying his unnaturalthirst. "Zaraiel" would advise this young married mnn to tell his wife when he is tempted to do wrong, and remember that many a home has been happily saved and many a fortune retrieved by a man's full confidence in his "better half."

XXX ■iiiii oiui v vi' v vouiiLi man

fertility of resource in providing himself and some companions with a cheap luncheon at the Ellerslie racecourse lias been related to me, and will bear repetition. The hero of the exploit, whom I shall term Simpkins,is a fray and festive spark, altogether innocent of .such a thing as inauvaise honte, and not troubled with much of the genuine article either. He travelled by rail to the races on New Year's Day, and as he had not fortified his internal economy before departure with a square meal, in due time he became conscious of an aching void under his vest that called for immediate at tention. His companions wore similarly afflicted. The refreshment booths and the luncheon tables, however, were crowded, and there was before them the dismal pros pect ofalengthenedperiod of waiting. While cursing their ill-luck and inveighing against the gluttony of the people who were com fortably ensconced at the tables, Simpkins's face suddenly brightened, and, halting beside a vacant buggy, he informed his friends that he had found tor them a dinner. Ere they could recover their surprise or call for an explanation, he had clambered into the vehicle and uncovered a well stocked hamper. His companions, in alarm, begged him to desist and dismount. His mouth, however, was full of .sandwich, and his attention concentrated upon the procural of more, so that he had only time to gasp out, "It's all right," as, with a chuckle of delight, he exposed to view a full hamper, and prepared to r!o its contents jus tice. Seating himself by the lusciousstore, he handed out a la Lord Bountiful, piles of appetising dainties to his half-famished brethren. They were loth to connive at wholesale robbery, but the temptation was irresistible, and the flesh being weak, rising expostulation was choked down with gustatory relish. By tacit assent it was deemed an inopportune moment for explanation, and the evil day was still further postponed when a short search disclosed to view some dozen or so of English ale. Just when the virtues of the liquor were being fully appreciated thefea<-:t was rudely interrupted. A well-known Boniface was observed rushing towards the trap with rubicund visage and wrathful mien, followed by a string of indignant females. When he came within hailing distance he accosted the revellers in no gentle terms, and ordered them off his vehicle. Simpkins, with the coolest effrontery, said the trap was his own, and he'd be blowed if he would put up with any insolent nonsense. Boniface repeated that his property had been jumped, and Simp kins as positively asserted that the state ment was ridiculous; it was his private buggy. The irate publican then produced evidence from the vehicle indisputably es tablishing his claims, and Simpkins, with well-feigned astonishment, became profuse in his apologies, winding up with a press ing invitation for Boniface to accompany him to his hamper, in order that he might make restitution of the consumed provender. Greatly to Simpkins' relief, however, and in accordance with his confident anticipations, the man of liquor generously waived the point and expressed himself satisfied that it had been a mere case of mistaken identity. Simpkins according ly retired from the field of action with all the honours of war, and since then has been lionised by his admiring comrades.

The steamship Doric, the first appear ance of which in our port last year caused such a lively sensation, is once more on her way to Auckland, and may be expected to arrive here next week. Kather appropri ately, a poem entitled " The Doric " has just been put into my hands, and this, I rind on examination, has reference to her tirst voyage to New Zealand. I also gather that it is the production of a female pas senger from the Emerald Isle—perhaps one of those stout Bridgets or Mary Anns, whose services are in such requisition among colonial housewives. Start not, gentle reader, for why should not the divine Muse of I'oesy cast her inspiring mantle over the humble " slavey " as well as on the shoulders of the ploughboy? Listen to the strains which this poetess flings from her harp :— On July the 2S wo left the English shore. Bound for New Zealand's land to bo happy evermore, We came on board the Doric our hearts were light and gay In hopes to make a livelyhood far acrose the sea. May the aun of bright prosperity shine on our peaceful brows, Perhaps some day we may repay we cannot do it now. The last-quoted two lines are given as a re frain at the close of each verse. Their meaning or appropriateness is not very clear, unless we suppose that the inspired maiden has been an "assisted immigrant," and means to pay back the amount of her passage money when she has made her fortune in this El Dorado. Anyway, I shall " refrain " from quoting these lines in the other verses 1 may give. The effusive effusion proceeds :■ — We had a pleascnt voiage nobody can deny. With a matron kind and true and the doctor dressed in blue. He cave us pills and powders with salts I do declare. And without exageration we got plenty 01 fresh air. Long life to our Galant Captain, I am shure his name will stand. To bring GOO souls safe unto new Zealand's land. And if I live to see the day that I return once more, I'll travel in the Doric till I reach the Shamrock shore. In such noble lines the authoress proceeds to eulogise the officers and crew—the closing verse being as follows :— Now to conclude and say farewell to all our friends on sea. We are all going to Auckland happy thr'r to be, And when tnat we return acain, which 1 hope will not be long. I trust well all remember tho composer of this Boag. Unfortunately, with the modesty of true I

genius, the lady has omitted to append her name; so I can't promise to "remember" her particularly. However, the officers of the Doric and the fellow passengers who basked in the light of her poetic powers will doubtless remember her long after she has returned to " the Sham shock Shore "by the Doric. Those people who grumble at the Agent-General for not making careful selection of immigrants must henceforth and for ever maintain an abashed silence. What do they evpect? Surely New Zealand gets value for its money when poetical genius of this stamp is " thrown in " with a cargo of immigrants. Tom Bracken may have cause to be jealous, however, and had better look to his laurels.

Random shots without a .-ingle reference to the Salvation Army would be quite too great a novelty, so again I return to the Blood and Fire Congregation. The Army's own newspaper of a recent date informs us that " Tuesday's all-night at Sydenham , v.\,- a Holy GiiOat reviver. Hum iu.:iu co 3.30 we held on, and Jacob-like, would not let God go until He blessed us. And so He did. (iold chains, earrings, pipes, and gold studs were thrown upon the table. A full .-■u rrcmter was made, and a full salvation enjoyed. Cod bless Christchurch and suburbs.'' There indeed must havß been an almighty burst of enthusiasm. The Salvation Army turned into a 'regular goldmine—gold chains, earrings, pipes.and gold studs thrown upon the table ! This con stituted a blessing, for "a full surrender was made and a full salvation enjoyed.'' When ever I paid a visit to the Army meetings I never observed this remarkable pro fusion of jewellery, and it is therefore all the more unexpected and gratifying to know that a new and wonderful feature has been introduced into their gatherings by a periodical diffusion of wealth. Surely the Salvationists have done well at Christ church, and should not the Auckland soldiers joyfully follow their example and go in for gold studs, gold earrings, and pipes such as their brethren of the South possess ? XXX In the course of my lucubrations last week, I took occasion to refer to the unfair manner in which punishment is often meted out by unpaid Justices in our colonial courts of law. The case was instanced of two men who were punished for appro priating a newspaper and a book respec tively—one being fined 10s and costs, while the other is now serving a sen tence in Mount Eden. My remarks were fully justified by the circumstances, but they have been questioned by two correspondents, who write at some length on the subject. The first is our respected Town Clerk, Mr P. A. Phillips, and the other -MrKeginaldß. Fitzpatrick, whose in excusable forgetfulness in appropriating a cop 3of a local publication led to his appearance before the magistrate. xxx The Town Clerk's effusion was first to hand, and I shall allow it to take prece dence. The opening lines inform me that I wns misled, and then the writer launches out into an explanation of the facts, which were practically the same as those which I had previously been acquainted with, the only exception being that no solicitor was employed in the case as stated. The facts of the other case are stated, and then Mr Philips gravely assures me that " the magistrates acted, as is usual in such cases —on a first conviction small line, and on second heavy one, to warn others." This reads very nicely on paper, but unfortu nately for the Town Clerk's contention, he is just a trifle out in the order of things. 1 would not have been surprised if the light sentence had been inflicted first, and the punishment had grown heavier with the second case, so that others might be warned. But, as a matter of fact, Mielotz's trial took place more than a week prior to Fitz patrick's, and the unfortunate man was fined L 5, or in default three months, and being a poverty-stricken individual, he was compelled to go to gaol. Subsequently, Fitzpatrick was charged with the theft of a newspaper, and the line in his case was 10s and costs. The only actual difference in the two occurrences was that the paper which attracted Fitzpatrick's at tention was valued at 2d, while the periodical to which Mielotz took a fancy was published at Is. Only a difference of lOd, and yet that was considered sufficient to make so great a difference in the punish ment. And even Mr Philips tells me that the first sentence should have been lighter than the second. The excuse made by the two indignant accused was exactly the same—'"l was taking the paper home to read, intending to return it."' XXX No doubt ilr Philips will consider this point disposed of to his satisfaction. Turn ing to another part of his letter, 1 am as tonished to read as follows: —"The state ment that he (Mielota) is a man of good character is incorrect. The police can give information that will show very much the reverse." This statement rather surprised me, and being convinced that I had not been misinformed, I proceeded to the police authorities with the object of verifying my previous assertion. In quiries satisfied me that Mr Philips had recklessly "put his foot in it," as the common saying goes. By the highest authority in the force, I was assured that nothing was known against the man, and that he had always borne the reputation of being a hardworking individual. This was corroborated by reference to sergeants who have served in Auckland for very many years, and therefore I am at a loss to con ceive why Mr Philips should be so rash in his charge against the unfortunate victim of what was termed "justice's justice." Possibly the fact that the gentleman in question is himself a Justice of the Peace may have something to do with his valiant defence of the great unpaid, but of course it is not for me to say.

The other letter from Mr Fitzpatrick simply goes into the merits of the case, and with that side of the question my para graph had nothing to do. It was solely written to show the unequal mode of dis tributing punishment when different justices occupied the Bench. At the same time Mr Fitzpatrick makes a point of the fact that his prosecution was of his own seeking. He says :— " Zamiel" imputes undue partiality to the members of the City Council towards me on account of my re spectable connections, and also that it was mainly due to the inquisitive propensities of one of the members that the case was made known to the public during a sitting of the City Council, both of which statements are false andliabletomisleadthe public. The facts of the case are simply these. Upon reading a statement in the Stab that Cr. Garrett had made inquiries concerning the taking of the "Free Press " from the

Free Public Library and alsotho reply ~i the Town Clerk, I waited for n week to . e^ if anything would be done. Finding that the City ('ouncil appeared to have no intention of proceeding in the matter, and also seeing that i was ace ,~ed of systematically stealing the paper from the three principal public libraries in the city, and not choosing to lay uncK-r the imputation of being a systematic [ i'.:-:-:r, I wrote a letter to the City Uor.:u.'il, pointing out the injustice done to :n\>eff and others by a so-called religious journal, and that it was clearly thu duty of the City Council to make investigation into those charges, and if they found my state ments to be false to take proceedings against me. I positively assert that I was not sustained by the sympathies of the City Council,this Bench, or the public on account of my respectable connections 7 ~P . w*..i: o to prove that each and every one concerned were firmly and unalterably determined upon prosecuting me. :I It "ill ho .-oen that this doesnot.it all bear ;;::„ to ...at of my "shot."

The writer then glides smoothly into a most trenchant denunciation of the editor of the print which he was charged with stealing. He proceeds to say : "The lead ing article in that publication wan a irress and malicious libel, and that the -aid article was written for the polo purpose of injuring me in the estimation of the public at large, simply because I have the courage to defend my religious opinions against a set of fanatics. The editor in that leading article has fabricated a tissue ot" falsehoods as base and opprobrious as they are groundless and cowardly — and " that too for the sole purpose of re venge. But it is one question whether a purpose so detestable entered distinctly into his contemplation, and another whether ho did not, whilst under the operation of those wild and fanatical opinions which obscui-e the understanding while they indurate the heart, perpetrate a flagitious outrage—an act totally inconsistent with the character of a gentleman, the principles of a Christian, and the good feelings of a citi zen. Withoutcharginglumwitlinciulibc-mte depravity, I accuse him of a wild fanaticism which is analogous to ferocity in its re sults, and I collect from his previous state ments the motives and passions by which he was instigated in making those charges against me. I again assert and will prove that the ingredients with which that publication is composed are a combina tion of indecency, slander, vituperation, sedition, and blasphemy."

A few weeks ago I had a note of warning for tea-drinkers; now I have something equally serious for the smokers of tobacco. It would seem that if *ea is " a dangerous revolutionary force,'1 tobacco is an equally powerful and more insidious agent for pro ducing marked social and political changes. The statisticians and the mathematicians have been at work on the extent of smoking in France and its results; and the conclu sions which are arrived at are certainly— alarming I was going to say, but gallantry compels me to substitute a'milder word, so say extraordinary. The newspaper account thus puts it:—" It is calculated that before sixty years Frenchmen will have so smoked themselves into degeneracy that the ladies will be at the head of affairs, industrial, financial, and political, while their husbands eteep their senses in forgetfulness and tobacco at the fireside.'' Popular physiology has long since recognised the principle that mental deterioration follows over-indulgence in tobacco : witness the saying that the vapid youth who is always "puffing" at a cigar "has blown out his brains " in a cloud of smoke ; and satirists have never snared the folly of those

"AVho make a furnace of their moir.hs And keep it always burning."" But this is the first time that the mathema tician has bent his powers to the consiuera-* ---tion of the matter and brought the lav of"^ geometrical ratio of progression to bear an the important theme.

And (" how appalling,"' I had almost said) how striking is the tale that is told by the unerring figures : In sixty years rean is to be completely emasculated by this pleasant habit of smoking, and woman is to take his place in all the important affairs of life. Of course, the calculation applies to all tobacco-smokers as well as Frenchmen : even our noble English male stock Mast decline, and our English matrons will con sequently be elevated to the highest posi tions in trade and politics. Tobacco is thus an executioner. The men who take it: "put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains,'' and the ladies connive at the felony by presenting their lords and lovers with smoking caps, cigar c.ises, amber mouth-pieces," and other parapher nalia of the habit. Why women should do so has long been a puzzle to "Zainiel,"' for the fair creatures affect to hate " Lhat horrid smoke,"' and to be nauseated by the fumes. But a light now dawns which makes clear as daj the wily tactics of the fair sex. They declaim against tobacco in order that they may not be led into the habit of smoking it, yet they assist the sterner sex to work, their own intellectual ruin by encouraging them in the vice. This new method of seeming "women's rights" is widely diil'erent from that usually called tlie constitutional one—viz., proceeding by public meeting and peti tion ; but it is also a "constitutional "way, and appealing to men's love of pleasure rather than to their sense of justice, is much more likely to prove successful. The emancipation of woman by ni..-orschaams and cigars is an unexpected solution ; but then, as Lord BeiconsfieW was fond of saying, "The unexpected always b.ipperiH !'•■

Fate of Modest Men.

The -world generally takes men at tbeir ownapparentestimateofthem.seives. Kenoo modest men never attain the same consider ation which bvstling, forward men do. It has not time or patience to inquire rigidly, and it is partly imposed upon and carried away by the man who vigorously niairns its regards. The world also never ha» two leading ideas about any man. There is always a remarkable unity in its concep tions of the character of individuals. If an historical person has been cruel in a single degree, he is set down as cruel and nothing else, although he may have had many good qualities, all not equally conspicuous. If a literary man is industrious in a remarkable degree, the world speaks of him as only industrious, though he may be also very ingenious,

It is stated that John McCullough, the great American Virginius, may be induced to pay Australia a visit next summer.

AUCKLAND, N.Z., SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 1884.