RANDOM SHOTS.

M >:>:;;;■. .:.:if (By. ZAMIEL.]

IBfiome write, atLeigl'bour's namo to lash, Rome write—vain uiouKht j—for needful cash, raiomo write to please the connlry clash, H * ■ And raiao a din. jiFor me, an aim I never fash— , j I writo for fun.

f's ttU over, and a jolly good job, too ! Of rarse, "Zamiel" was at tho Baby Show, id so was Mrs Z., and tho latest addition ) the house of Z.; and after two days of juoozing, squalling, and steaming in the heatre Royal, I fancy all who participated i the "fun" will re-echo my opening sen iment. "All prizes, and no blanks,'' aving been the rule at the Show, it 'ould be invidious were I to say what 'articular prize the youthful Z. carried off; he reader is welcome to fix on whichever aay strike his fancy—that for the reddest laired baby or the plainest baby if he shoosea to be spiteful, or that for the irettiest or best-dressed baby if he wishes o be complimentary. It is proposed, I leliove, to make these exhibitions annual; md in the belief that this programme will >Q carried out, I have penned the follow ng lines as a fair warning of what fond nothers may expect at the I AUCKLAND BABY SHOW. (THE START.) Beautiful babes at the Baby Show, Sitting so lovely all in a row; tOBy and smiling—tho dear little pots I— n their red, their blue, and their grnon rosettes; Ingllsh and Irish, Welsh and Scotch, tingled together—a sweet" hotch-potch;" Fat babos, chubby babes, bright and gay, Crowing, Cooing, Laughing all day. No fairer flow'rs on this earth may grow Than those dear little babes at the Baby Show.

Mothers so proud at tho Baby Show, "Mashinj " the judges as past they go; Each looking round with a cold disdain On the other babies so cross and plain, Or feigning to ohattor with fancy free. As thuy nurso their darlings or sip their tea. Mothers grow tired as the day wcara on,— Shifting. Yawning, Wishing it done; Oh! a mothor's heart must warmly glow Ere she Btands tho toil of a Baby Show! (THE FINISH.) " Kids " so orogs at the baby show. Their pipes so shrill begin to blow ; Young Albert yells for his nightly " pap," And Ethel sprawls In her mother's lap; Like a, Highlandman's Heaven of musical j or, Scream the fattest girl and the curliest boy. The red-haired lass, and tho best-dressed lad. Are squalling. Bawling, Yelling like mad; Full of sights of sorrow and sounds of woo, Are the olosing soenos of the Baby Show! Beautiful, blissful Baby Showl The prizes are given, and homo we go. Now Mrs MacGramlio in Dorio ton as, Is sympathising with Jenny Ap Jones— *' Oor bairns got naothing, but what o that J They're no' like yon poely-waly brat!" Says Bridget—"My chile, among all tho rest. Was purtiest. Curliest, Darlingost, best!" Thus with hearts that with heavenly lovo o'er- The mothers go home from tho Baby Show!

SirGeo. Grey is "heaping coals of fire" On the heads of journalists for their cool treatment of him. He has already intro duced measures to swell their profits by giving them free cablegrams and abolish ing the newspaper postago; and now he has brought down a bill to restrain jadicial officers from sending newspaper publishers summarily to gaol for that elastic judge-mado offence, contempt of Court. If to these favours the member for City East would add " an Act Abolishing Penalties for Braining Loquacious Intruders into Editorial Sanctums," "an Act to Punish as Public Nuisances Poets who Persist after the Tenth Refusal," "an Aetifor tho Summary Recovery of Compen sation for Time Wasted" on Correspon dents who besiege editorial rooms to know when " that little letter will appear which I jerked off the other day." If these lawa were enacted, with the other measures already provided by Sir George'sforethought—free telegrams, free run of the Post-office, and unlimited license to slang everybody without fear of libel, besides dead-heading at all the shows and public sprees, what a jolly life a news paper man would lead !

But there is no rose without a thorn, and the member for the Bay of Islands has gone on a very different tack from Sir George. He is one of those goody-goody people who would make all mankind conform to their own small standards of propriety. Perhaps, too, he is not wholly unmoved by the recent caustic press treatment of his administration at the Board of Education, which, after much dinning, has led to his retirement. In the columns of advertisements announcing sweepstakes, Mr Hobbs Btes a good harvest for the newspapers, and he thinks he can finish that by making it penal to publish a sweep advertisemeßt. Now, what would be the effect of such a prohibition ? Simply that promoters of sweeps would issue shoals of circulars. If people want to hazard a pound in a sweep, all the devices of the law and the prophets will not prevent them. Where there is the will, there will always be found a way.

The adherents of the Salvation Army continue to play such fantasy!" tricks before high Heaven —not to mention the other place at all—that no apology is required for referring to them here. One of those gro tesque exhibitions which are calculated to •'make angels weep" took place a fow weeks ago in the Choral Hall, when there was a "testimony meeting of reclaimed drunkards and other brands plucked from the burning ; and a second such gathering took place last night at the " Barracks" in Albert-street. To give the old gentleman his due, I must admit that the Auck land Salvationists manage these affairs a little more modestly than do their confreres in Australia. A recent announcement of the Salvation Army meeting at the Mel bourne Town Hall ran as follows tion Army ! Grand Exhibition of Trophies : Converted drunkards, gamblers, prize fighters, criminals, infidels, and other at tractions. Admission—6d and Is." There was no such shameless advertising of the " attractions " here ; but the proceedings were decidedly objectionable. Imagine a mixed audience, containing a number of guileless Christian people and unsophisti cated youths, baing called together to listen to tales of depravity and revelations of moral turpitude which can serve no pur pose save to suggest evil and familiarise the ]£md with the worst forms of vice. Among those who testified here were the local hangman and the prodigal son of a Victorian Mayor. Could anything be more debasing than a drunken sot —and a " hangman " to boot-standing up and recounting his ex periences ? Very different were the methods of One who consorted with publicans and sinners, for those whom He "healed" of physical deformities and[mental twists He straitly charged to go their ways, and tell no man!

The newspaper reporter is usually looked upon by Salvationists as utterly irreclaim able, and I in my humble way have accepted this as high testimony to the intelligence of the average reporcer. At that Melbourne -festival, however, there was to be seen * among the converted prize-fighters, infidels, I and criminals, a veritable specimen of that rara avis in terra, a converted reporter. This prodigy, according to his own account, had Bpent some years on the "Ballarat ] Press, but eventually fell a victim to over conviviality. One night, whilst labouring under a severe attack of delirium (remens, he tried to Bwallow a cup of poison, but luckily a local officer of the Army appeared on the scene, rescued the Ballarat reporter ' from a frightful death, showed him the error of his ways, made him a member of I the Army, and Major Barker has now utilised his experience on the "Ballarat Press " by appointing him sub-editor of the I "War Cry." Of course there would be loud shouts of " Halleluiah I" at the close of this interesting recital, though the press ■ representatives present must have felt their ; nnregenerate condition very keenly. : xxx j Among other vagaries of the " Harmy " [■ I must mention the recent elopement of a " Captain" Bcdingfield with a girl who was known as " Tbe Littla Wonder," becauße of I her precocity in speaking and reciting at I I the meetings, 'that painful affair was !• sufficiently dealt with by the newspapers at I."".- the time, and 1 sliould not havo referred to | I It but for nn exhibition of shocking bad Ifr taste made by the scoundrel and his wife in ft-j .Melbourne. It will be remembered that the ■ | : ._**: Army " officials dismissed the "Captain " ! Mb for Ms offence, but took back the little H wonder to their bosoms, and that Beding ■ nold waa the. joined by his wife at Mel. ■ bourne. There he had the unblushing ■ •impudence to try to make capital out of hu He invited nn audience at 6d hear the account of " how

tempted a silly girl to leave lull" home and family, of how ho lofklm; '>>") wifu mul children starving, and how li.i played the hypocrite and villain. It, is discreditable to tho Melbourne public; (hat a large number were found to countenance this disgusting proceeding, and that they sat and listened to tho ex-captain telling tho story of his shame in tho prtsenco of tho woman ho had wronged without tarring and feathering him and drumming him out of the town.

That the Salvationists are most im-Scrip tural in regard to paying respect to consti tuted authority, may bo learned from the fact that at certain towns in the South where the municipal authorities have pro hibited processions by torchlight, the " military " resist the ''civil" powers and persist in holding their open-air orgies, to the alleged danger of the lieges, and the de moralisation of youth. After all this array of flaws in the Army.it i? refreshing to add that there is one ray of light shining upon the subject,and it comes from General Uooth himself. At a meeting hold the other week in London, tho " General " called for "threo cheers for Old Ireland," and said that the Army was tho only euro for tho woes of that afflicted country. Lot all the people shout " Hallelujah I" The Salvation Army has only to get a fair show in llibcrnia, and in stead of disaffected Homo Rulers and ag grieved tenant farmers, wo shall havo a crowd of " converted Irishmen" giving glorious "testimony" regarding their former offences and their changed condition. A large detachment of the British Army is constantly required to keep Ireland in sub jection at tho present time ; and when the saving to the country is considered, I think the Government ought to subsidise Genoral Booth and aid him in his mission.

The letter of a dairyman tho other day and a caso in tho District Court have turned my attention to the milk business. Tho Court caso aroso out of a dispute between a Mangero farmer and tho vendor who con tracted for his supply of milk. The milk man had made a yearly contract covering the cheap and the dear feisou at Sd per gallon, and now refused to continue it on the alleged ground that tho milk «-as of in ferior quality. The plaintiff said a bettor reason could be found in tho chanco of making a cheapor contract for tho summer months.when milk is plentiful, and retorted that if the milk was poor, the fault did not lie at the door of the dairy, but might bo more easily explained by the habit which a boy formerly in his employ sworo the vendor pursued of placing a considerable amount of water in tho cans that wore sent for tho milk. Now, whether tho boy lied in this in stance—whether the fault lay with tho milk-vendor—l leavo Judge Smith to d«cido, but the caso led to two or three re flections and inquiries that were partly sug gested and in part anawercd in tho dairy man's letter already mentioned. Tho first of theso reflections ia that tho old-fashioned milkman who rosa with the lark, and dis tributed his milk while still warm from the cow, is becoming a thing of tho past in Auckland. Tho farmer milks ono day, and the vendor sells the noxt. Now, a moment's reflection will show that upon milk left standing that length of time there must be a large accumulation of cream. What be comes of it ? My inquiries lead me to tho conclusion that it is very oommonly skimmed off and sold separately at the price of cream. The milk is proportionately deteriorated by the loss of fatty matter, and infants nursed on tho bottlo will suffer. Reflection further tells mo that in tho sum mer there is a constant risk of the milk curdling during the night. How is that to be prevented ? Here tho case comes to tho rescue. It appears that a practice prevails of putting salsaline in milk to preserve it. This chemical, although pronounced harm less by some medical authorities, has boon strongly condemned by others. It is not, at any rate, one of tho constituents of good new milk. Finally, it is only right to as!;, May wo expect good milk at the current price? Ibelieve weoughtnotmerely to expect it, but rely upon getting it. A vendor can make his summer contracts at about i>kd a gallon ; he retails it at nearly four times the price that, one would think, ought to give him a very fair margin of profit without calling in the assistance of tho cow with the iron tail. These milky investigations pectations in these matters aro far from being universally realised in daily experi ence. Tho ea?e with which a man may bo dishonest without fearing detection fosters dishonesty, and there is plenty of scopo for the exercise of the detectivo talents of a first-class Inspector in exposing the rascalities of this trade.

An ingenious friend with a decided bent for the compilation of tabulated returns has favoured me with a few statistical facts with respect to the composition of the Parliamentary Union and House of Repre sentatives, and as they will doubtless prove interesting to that illustrious body, and consequently to their extensive constituency I offer no apology for submitting them. Upon the scoro of nationality England stands pre-eminent. The English men of the House number 52, and therefore possess greater numerical strength than all tho other sections combined. Scotland is represented by 19 members and Ireland by 10, while there are just 7 statesmen of colo nial manufacture. Coming next to the test of religious persuasion, the Anglicans again head off the roll, this time with 43 members. The Presbyterians follow with IS members, and the Wesleyans with 12 members. The Freethinkers are represented by 7 or S mem bers, the Baptists by 6, the Congregational ists and the Jews by two each and the Roman Catholics by one. Taking next the profes sions and callings, it will be found that the mercantile interests are represented by more than 30 members, that tho law has furnished the abnormally largo propor tion of 20 members, that the press has supplied 7, and that the Banks and Insurance Companies have contri buted a like number. In addition, there are two head-teachers of leading city schools, while theology and medicine are represented by one member each. St. Sepulchre's Mutual Improvement Associa tion has had 9 of its members returned, and the now defunct sister association of St. James's has been similarly favoured.

We are travelling fast in this belauded nineteenth century of ours. We are going along (it such a rate indeed that " Zamiel" sometimes thinks that the better part of our natures is unable to keep up with our headlong material progress ; and that, in the course of a generation or two, civilisa tion will have degenerated into a vast selfish struggle of mentally endowed atoms. The little courtesies of life that our grand fathers observed with such scrupulous punctiliousness are voted old-fashioned, and place aux dames is no longer a recognised principle of social ethics. "Zamiel'a " be lief in the growing degeneracy in this direction has been much strengthened by a little incident that came under his personal observation a few days ago.. I had occasion to pay a visit to the suburbs one damp afternoon, and, hieing to Queen-street, was soon in a 'bus waiting for the hour of starting. The arrival of several ladies as the conveyance was nearly full, however, compelled me to resign my comfortable seat inside for a somewhat bleak one on the box beside the driver. Before the 'bus started a lady dressed in deep mourning, and with a child in her arms, hurried up to the conveyance, and I noticed that a look of annoyance passed over her wearied face when she found that the inside was full. There were several—well, what shall I call them-—" gentlemen "on the seats, but not one of them budged an inch, though their attention was drawn to the fact that there was a vacant seat in front. And, worst of all, one of those ungallant persons was a young preacher of the Gospel. Hail he been an American evangelist or a backwoods "snuffle-buster," ignorance might have been urged as an excuse for boorishness; but a real live parson, with white choker, clean nails, and other outward tokens of gentility; •shame on him, say I. There are several Grinds 6t «. jSSjV3I"B " this is the way we used to comi^f"l!h«?" r composition exercises at school). i^-^rSi?, the potato "masher," there is the"^-, \ "masher," and there is the feti^3^ "masher." Some people use the forme^fe and undoubtedly jknow all about it; othei V' people talk a great deal about the latter, y of which they knov/ very little, hence this shot. "Masher" js a slang word of recent origin, and like its gyuonym the " dude," was, no doubt, coined for the purpose of more forcibly expressing what was previously known i.s the " fascinating fellah," the great swell (ah !), and the flirt. It is in very common use both in England, America, and the colonies, and is usually applied to those who over stop the bounds of propriety in harrowing the more tender feel ings of the opposite sex. The "masher" was at first applied only to males, but soon, ot coutECj it fpund its feminine representa tive, who is known as tho " mashee." Just in the same manner did ike slang word ' •'dude" find a feminine in the- "dudine" and tho "dud'et.'1 ' '■'.'. The Yankee "masher/'aceordingtothe

individual, may bo of any Height from sft. to lilt. 'Mo., the taller tlio i:otter. lfo is never noiublo for ob&iity, but has rattier a tendency tosvnrds tho lean nnd lanky stylo of human framo, and a cudftveroiis look about the face is an additional recommenda tion. He has abnormally big feot and ho wears proportionately big boots. The boots aro of the very latest fashion, and usually run very tine about tho toes —kind of re minds one of tho saying : " Here's my feut, my body's coming," and another: " Onco seen, never forgotten." The dress other wise is in the newest and most striking stylo, everything else being sacrificed I'm" show. Thus the pants are usually huge " cheeks," and close fitting. The coat is sometimes of the same style of get-up, but occasionally less gaudy. Of course, there is tho " masher" collar. Itisafterthe "cut throat" older, because if the wearer happens to fall down suddenly, ho is in imminent danger of decapitation, the "linen" being cut and starched to stand up all round and overlap under tho chin.

The "masher's" ties are of two varieties. Omo covers tho breast for about a squ vre foot right under the chin,and contains a brilliant looking pin (this kind saves shirt fronts wonderfully, and is in great favour), and there is tho loose scarf, which is placed round the cellar, both ends run through a ring in front, and then pinned across tho biwwr. Indispensable articles in tho "get up''are the eano and tho single eyeglass, tho hitter of which is suspended from the neck by a cord, and is used when the wearer usually does not want to see any thing. Still going upwards we come to tho "masher's" head piece. His hair is oiled, it is parted in tho middle, or, as it is vul garly termed, " amidships," and it is either curled or laid down so flat that it exhibits cverj bump. Tho moustache is carefully cultivated, and run out to right and left points, and there is just a suspicion of "powder" in tho complexion of the face. This interesting article is capped usually by a singularly low hat, either hard or soft, as tho wearer may fancy most " striking," and concludes my picture of tho American " masher."

Coloniul.f have a vory hazy idon of what the " masher " is, although our girls and beys uso the term almost as frequently ns thoy take their meals. Tho general idea is that the masher is a particularly well dressed fellow or girl, who does a great dealof strainingnfter effect, andconsequently attracts genoral attontion. Others accept tho really fascinating fellow as the genuine "raiislior," and tho successful flirt ob tho real " mashco," apart from any particular class of dress, and this idoa is fast super seding tho American idea. Lastly, thoroistlio " masher" and "mashee" who aro so styled in derision, either because of their simpli city or awkwardness, thoir clumsy propor tions, or thoir big feet, and they nll'ord goueral subjects for ridiculo. "Mashing" in theeo various forms is becoming so very common iv Auckland that I feel It to be ''Zamlel's" duty to say a word on the subject. Closo application to a study of the subject has led to the remarks already made, and I have no doubt many of the readers of my weekly "explosions " will poruse them with a con viction that the " masher " ia now a recog nised institution, and liko others who thirst aftor admiration, must have hia turn in " Random Shots."

Wit is a good thing, even at a roligioua meeting ;it is the salt of friendly socials, which would often be flavourless without it. The Puritans made jokes, and I have heard a good deal of fun at our local anni versary gatherings. Strangely enough, the English—not the Scotch —including colonists, I presnino, aro generally set down by the French as a peoplo deficient in wit or esprit. Englishmen certainly have not, as a nation, vivacity of manner. Still, Britons love their jokes, and if they are to bo mea sured by their comic writers, thoy can hold their own against all comers in every phaso of wit, whether of that lighter and more airy play of the fancy to which tho term is properly applied, or tho more robust whimsicality distinguished as humour.

Shakspere was a great wit, and, ns Thackeray has shown, nil tlio best KnglUh writers were humourists. Does the reader want further proof 1 Let him peruse the earlier volumes of " Punch " in the Auck land Public Library, or the writingH of Jcrrold. But wit in a religious meeting to somo persons is terrible, and quite out of place. I went, the other evening, to a nappy and melodious tea-tight, and had the pleasure of listening to some of the raciest and most delicious tit-bits of humour from the lips of the speakers. Thoy were as de lightful and relishable as tea and shrimps at Greenwich in shade at summer time, bright as the thought sparkles of .Jeremy Taylor, or the jewelled fancies of young Eiidymion. The meeting was exception ally merry and wise, and nil the richer for its genial character. Everybody seemed pleased, and brought flowers, to decorate the hall, and add to exhilarating sensations, while the southing songs, and the voiws of ladies, blushing with the rosy hues of youth and beauty, influenced the spirit like memories of the past.

The Chairman, brimming with good nature, told a story of a Doncastor tea-light of his boyhood's days, amid the scenery which Scott described so charmingly in "Ivanhoe," and how a professor from a Yorkshire college got on to the platform, and could not speak at all, for he was 'fite (Professor Tite); he had eaten too heartily of currant cako. Another speaker was es pecially good on Family Bibles and Priest craft, and those sanctified old ladies who venerate the Word, but seldom search for the inner treasures. He told the story of a Catholic labourer in the Waikato who would not read the Bible for fear the priest would punish him. He gave an instance of priestly power which was told to this labourer by another labourer who had heard it from some one else. He had disobeyed a law of the Church. The priest shook his finger in the face of the offender, and immediately his mouth was twisted up to hia ear ; and it was six weeks before the oar and mouth were separated. The next Bpeaker, a shrewd Scotchman, was abundant in fun, and must have been reading Dean Rnmsay's excellent book. Ho affirmed that parsons were past reclamation, and would remain so as long as white chokers and long black coats were in fashion. The only way to reach them was to grant thtm half their position and tenderly consider " vested interests." A young man was very liberal towards Free thinkers ; he said they were mostly think ing men, and numbers had found an easy way out of their scepticism through the ministrations of Brother Brown, who had driven tho brimstone and treacle dogma from the pulpits of this beautiful city. A Devonshire man told a weird story of a Cornish cobbler who was hammering away on his lapstonc, and tinging at midnight while a cotlin was in tiie room. Presently the black lid wa3 partly raised, apparently by an invisible hand, find a sepulchral voice said, "Cobbler, thou must not sing in tho presence of the deud." The cobbler replied " Dead men should not speak." Who lyjll say that a tea-tight is dull and uninteresting after this pleasant exhibition of witand fimnyi.sm? Not ''Zuroiel"surely!

It is a mo.st curious yet noteworthy fact that the colonies without exception not only pursue a distinct policy in commercial matters, but likewise carry the same into social circles, and those of "Zamiel's" readers who have journeyed to the "Cabbage Garden" or been whisked overland from there to the "City of the Beautiful Harbour," w ill nc doubt go a step farther and bear him out in the assertion that each possesses an individuality in the "fairy tales" with which the weary hour is be guiled. Thus, for examp'e, Victoria has its "snake yarns;" Queensland, "alligator incidents ;" and NewSputh Wales, "shark fables." It is in connection with tho latter colony that "Zamiel" would recount the following, impressing on tho gentle reader that he seeks only to impart a plain un varnished tale, just as 'twas told to him.

" Tho Beautiful Harbour," as Port Jack son is somewhat gushingly termed by tho " Cornstalks," affords plenty of excitement

followers of Izaak Walton, and besides

®he numerous steamers chartered to convey of many fishing clubs on their iKf'My excursions, numbers avail themselves o fin facilities afforded, by hiring a boat fprv^nkday, ant^ anchored under the lee of somoodf tl>3 pretty headlands, esjoy tho sport ik-theiV hearts' pontsent. Brown, Jones, ana^l% 1 't Pn»bl» "ne BWning having naught to do.^nd finding three parts of tho day^to do it 4xi> conceived a brilliant idea, and determined to make a raid on the denizens^ of the briny deep. Provided with the »eces«ary tackle, bait, etc., they lopaired to film Circular Quay, and having embarked in oaf °i the watermen's boat, "paddled down to \ Rose Bay, where they awaited anxiously t'^B appearance of the nimble schnapper wit^l a hook in his gills. Perhaps two solid hoturs passed thus, and excitement having givfen place to im patience, and this latter ito exhaustion, Brown and Jones coiled themselves up and slumbered, Jones's number] fourteer boots gracefully reclining over t>ne B'de of the _boat, and Brown's bead offiflnieat tin,

By-aud-by, Tightpants could have sworn ho haii n I'tfe, and hearing .■> decided "swish" ihrv>u£>ii Sim wttiui", iintuiiiily looked round for the cau.-o, and found to hi. horror n huge shovul-nn-iid shark, about 12 feet long, peering over tho bout, with his huge mouth wide upon, anil nt least one oyo on Jones';, waterproofs. Exporting every moment to t-ee his sharkship tako a header j into the frail craft, Tightpants just managed to reach tho oars, and without even utter ing a cry, [lulled with all his strength for the shore. With perspiration dozing from overy poro and standing out like air bubbles on his receding forehead, ho ranched tho haven at last, and as l.ho bout grounded on tho beach out he leapt, with out even thinking of his chums, and started for tho scrub at the rato of 13.40 on a plank—terror, no doubt, lending speed to his flight. After surmounting countless obstacles, ho at last succumbed, and fell, thoroughly exhausted, beside a blue - gum. After gathering his fe\r remaining senses together, he attempted to pick up his "hard hitter," which had fallen Oil' ; but turning round with that purpose in view, was horrified and thunderstruck to find, ahout ten yards distant, his adversary the shark, who, liko himself, was thoroughly baked, and making futile endeavours to reach his intended prey. Tightpants must have fainted right away at sight of his antagonist, for ho was found a couplo of hours afterwards by Brown and Jones lying alongside tho corpse of " Mr Sliovel-noso," iinJ in a slato of delirium. To tho many queries propounded, ho answered novor a word, until tho subject of the death of tho shark wag broached; thon ho gently mur mured—"Four miles through tho scrub; enough to kill a man, lot alono a shark !"

How Tel-El-Kebir Looked to Tommy Atkins.

SKVKKAIidaya had passed in inactivity hore, when one evening wo wero instructed to got roady for an immediate march. A heavy, and it was hoped a decisive, blow was to be delivered at tho onemy on tho morrow, anil tho troops wore to march all night to take part in thogreat event. The succeeding night-march has been well described by able pens, incomparably superior to that of tho ordinary Tommy Atkins ; but ono alarming event occurred which wo feol constrainod to record. The reader who has porused tho history of this memorable campaign will racolloct that in tho courso of the famous night-march a long halt took placo. Wo had all fallen asleep during tho said halt, and >yere [Xjaccfully slumbering when a prodigious hubbub awoke tho writer, iv common with overyono olso. Men wero grasping their riiles, shouting! fixing on their bayonets, and running about wildly in ovory direc tion. Horsemen wero said to bn among us, making dire havoc. Tho excitement and panic wore very great, and, I may add, most unsoldiorlike. One follow, starting up, seized his weapon and doalt ainau near him a tremendous blow on the ear, stunning the unlucky individual and carrying away a portion of tho unoffonding organ. Others wero rushing about with their pieces at tho "chargo" lika madmen, and the scono was altogether ono of tho wildest confusion imaginable. It was unpleasant to rellect on what would have been tho rosult if tho imaginary horsomon had really appeared. The utiicors, making great ex ertions, ultimately restored ordor, and we relapsed into sileneo and roposoas boforo. Next mornihg wo wore salute 1 by some shell:? flying overhead, which plunged into sand, wiiero they exploded, making alarm ing cracks, and fending the sand and gravel sputtering around. We "ire not about to attempt to" iloscrilio this battle; to us it was no battle at nil -it wiw simply a walk ovor ground where a short but severe strug gle had taken placo a littlo beforo our arrival Having traversed tho scene of tho eonllict, we got to the cam)) of tho enemy, from which they had been ejected in a somewhat Minimal y manner. Some tents, lots of cannon, and a fow storehouses, were hero, together with muncrousj horses and camels. In various situations wero large pyramids of onions, and also of small louvu? of bread. The pyramid in this country seemed to be a favourite formation in which to henp up storo? of nuv kind. Bilge of corn for horses wore set up in pyramids, so were boxes of shells for Krupp guns. We almost wished wo could find a pyramid out of which tooxtemporise a good breakfast. A repast of canal-water and some brown bread, seasoned with onions, made our fare in this now famous and historical camp, where we remained a day and a night.— " All tho Year Round."

Gahazi Girls.

Nn entertainment in Japan is comploto without a troop of Gahazt girls, and such entertainments form about tho only social amusement of the Japanese. And now for the music. Please understMid that the Japanese scnlo is not liko ours, and nothing like melody to our ears can bo produced by it. Thoy havo a full tone between each first and second note, tindasemitone betweeneach third and fourth, and yet tho same feelings arc awakened in them by their music aa in us by ours, so that harmony itself is simply a mutter of education. Owing to the change of tho scale, I suppose I missed the sentiment of every pioco performed. When I thought thoy were giving us a wail for the dead, it turned out to oc a warm welcome and assuranco on the part of thoso protty maidens of their happi ness in being permitted tho great honour of performing boforo such illustrious visitors. After a few songs had been sung several of tho girls laid down their banjos, and after obeisance, prepared to dance. Instead of being a sprightly performance to lively music, " first ao caper syne anitlier," Japanese dancing is a very stately and measured porformanco, the body instead of the feet being most. brought into requisition. With the aid of the indispensable ian, the girls succeed in depicting many emotions, and all with exquisite grace. It is tho very poetry of emotion. Each dance illus trates a story, and is as well-known by name as is the " Highland Fling " or the "Sailor's Hornpipe." Here there was no difficulty in following the story. Unlike music, acting is a universal language, and in its domain " one touch of nature makes tho whole world kin," There are no different scales for the expression of feeling. Love, in some of its manifold forms, as was to havo been expected, is the theme of these dances. The dresses of the girls were of the richest and most fashion able description, the quietness of the colours surprising us, and their manners those of high-born womon. Indeed, they set the fashions, and are the best educated and most accomplished ot their sex. These girls are sent for to furnish enter tainment for an evening juet as we would engage a band for a party. They are said to bo highly respectable as a class, invariably reside with their parents, who educated them at great expense, and often make, we wero told, very favourable mar riages. The contrast between them and their less accomplished sisters is so great as to strike even us, who have been hero only a few days, and must bo held ignorant of style.—From "Round the World."

Cyclist Police

An innovation in thief-taking, for which a grateful public havo to thank Sergeant O'Donnell, of tho Cheshire Constabulary, introduces a pleasant element of romance into that otherwise prosaic business. A Jew pedlar named Bernstein had fled with a farmer's watch, and Sergeant U'Donnell pursued him on his bicycle. The chase was an exciting one, and the cyclist in uniform covered twenty-five miles in threo hours, running his quarry finally to earth at Groat Sutton. The flying figure of the gallant constable, with the skirts of his amplo tunic fluttering in the breeze, must have provided ail exhilarating spectacle to tho villagers on route aa he whirled amid tho dust and dogs and village geege along tho Queen's highway in hot pursuit of the plunderer of her Majesty's liegos. Still, however mag nificent as an ico'ated performance, the precedent of thief-hunts on wheels will never bo very widely followed. One cannot help thinking that the Jew pedlar named Bernstein scarcely showed the sagacity of his race in fleeing for twenty-live miles along the high road. A very brief ex perience of the pleasures of cross-country riding; on a bicycle over wire fences and a bull finch or' tv o would have soon con vinced even so artlent a votary of sport and business as Sergeant O'Donnoll that the gams vas scarcely worth so much pursuit. Hare's'ti-bspassiiig upop a railway line often get so teniu'od at the rapid ap proach of the locomotive as to speed away to certain death straight down the metals until flosh and blood are beaten in the race with steam, and tho wretched creature perishes miserably. Possibly this was the condition of mjnd of the Jewiejj pedlar, but the phenomenon would hardly be common enough to justify the general establishment of a force of cyclist police for thief-taking in country districts,

DECLINE OF MAN.-N.™,, WcaknM,. Dyspepsia, Irowteuco, Bbiubl Debility, cured by "Welb'i Health Rcuewer.'1 At PruffglsU. ; Kwauthorue. ftwMr * Oft, ABmU, AlMMnnii,

SPORTING.

UNKNOWN.

Now Zealand. ' Hnwkc'H Hay .7.U. Spring October (i, 7 l'.ilinr.ini-'a '11-Jiit (lull S|. o]ilixha.«! Mt:>:t -iIW October 2.) Tamnaki .1.0. Spring October 2S W.im'iiiMii .r.C Spring Nov. 2 Ciii;U:!;mv .I.C. .Metropolitan....Nov. XI, 13,19 Auckland H C Spring Nov. 14 Taloipuna .1 ('. Spring Nov. 25 Wi'llinirl'iii !I.r. Sprinjr Nov. 28, 29 Inn eJiii J.t!. Si : riei! Xov. £9, Deo. 1 Cambridge Spring Meeting Doeomber 5 Australia. V.A.T.C. (CaillftoM) Meeting..October 11 and Is! V.11.C Spring November 1, 4. 0. 8

Dates of Nominations, Entries and Accep tances.

Nominations for Spring Handicap nnd Himllcs, Auckland Cup. INcing Club Handicap, and Steeplechase .. .. Oct. 3

To Correspondents.

J. G.—Mr Lhineil rode King Bon in tho lr-st I'ukiiranga Hunt Club Cup. E.O.T.—You win tho wager. Turquoise started in llie N.SC. Cup last year, and his price at the post was ti to 1. Henarrledßst llb.nnd llnishod fifth. J.R. (Riverhoad).—Martini-Henry lias nover hcen in Kncland. So far hu has only started on the KlLMiiiiiKton and Hand wick race courses. Sun.scitmuH.—SirModrcd'u weight in tho Caul- Ileld Cup is now 10.4 lib, ho li ivlng to carry ] lib penally for winning tho .Metropolitan. In tho Melbourne Oup bis weight is raised to 'M 61b, the penalty Doing 71b M.-T. Hales lias ridden tho winner of tho V.X.C. Derby throu times, viz., Jiriseis in IS7«. (irand Flaneur In ISBO, and Navigator in 1882. Nino started last year, Hie liuyest number Unit lias yet gone to the post boint: thirteen. This wua iv IS7'J, when Suwarrow won.

NOTES BY HIPPONA.

THE doublo attraction of tho horse paradu and meet of the l'likuranga Hunt Club had tho ell'oct of drawing a largo numbor to Ellerslic on Saturday last. It was voted that tho parade was tho most successful that has yet been hold, tho show of thorough brads and draught stock being capital. Of course a groat many expressed their rogrct at not seeing Muskot, but in hi.s absenco Leolinus engrossed tho largest amount of attention. Ho was certainly tho "daddy '' of tho lot, but littlo Anteroß waa not without his admirers. Hippocampus was also much admired, being in capital trim and tho picture of health, and both Fitzhorcules and Billingegato looked well. The first named is to stand at Green Luno this BGlwon. After tho parado tho cpecttt tors made their way toward* tho Jlurp of Erin, below which tho hounds wore thrown oil', and a very good run took placo.

Whilo at Kllorslio on Saturday last, I had a look over Mr C. H. Luuhington'n two-year-olds, who aro located ut R. Thorpo's. Tho full brother to Leoy, who has been christened " Lionel," 'v looking woll, and lias improved a groat deal yincu 1 saw him la.it, but buing such a big follow he will want time, and may not be neon ut his best until he v a three-year-old. Tha tilly, who has been honoured with tho nume of " Lioness," is growing into a very racing-looking young lady, und if I miutuke not will betroublesome wbon she sports silk. Both she and tho colt aro pretty forward, and it U evident that Wood, who is preparing them, knows his business. In tho adjoining box was Mr W. l'rolitt's filly Welcome Katie, who is very backward and too much on the small sido for my liking, but Sntunolla has tilled out and furnished wonderfully since last season. IShu has also grown considerably in height, ami with a bit of luck, should nmku it warm for Homo of her opponents at the forthcoming A.X.C. Spring Meeting. lit rue-owners and trainers should bear in mind that nominations lor tho Handicap and Hurdles, to be run at the Auckland Racing Club Spring Mooting, close on Friday next,at eight o'clock. Nomin itions for tho Auckland Cup, Racing Club Handi cap, and Steeplechase- also close at the same time and hour.

(Juite v lingo crowd of sporUiiuon gathered on (lie wharf on Thursday to witness the departure of the s.b. Koto mahaiui, the attraction of course being tho sliippiti" of Kiupp und Nocklaoo to Uhiist chiiicli, to tivko part in tho C.f.O. Metro politun Meeting. Tho puir hud Minnot as a companion, ho bom?/ engaged in the Hurdle Race at the Napier Meeting next month. Mr J. Marshall, and tho local horsemen A. Sutherland and J, Furroll, were also passengers by tho same boat. The last-named has been engaged to ride the Marquis—My Idea filly in tho Hawko'a Hay Guineas, and Sutherland is to have tho mount on Armourer in tho Spring Handicap at that gathering. Sinco tho appearance of tho weights for the two principal events of tho rakuranga Hunt Club Meeting, a deal of wagering has taken place. Fly and Quilp ore favourites for the Cup at 4 to 1 each, and tho owner of the former has taken 200 to 50 about him. An admirer of Chieftain has accepted ISO to 30 tl'.at ho wins, and King Don, Sir Gur net, ami Sunray Imvo each been supported to win a hundred. Harkaway is hold in most ettoom for tho Hurdles, and has been taken in the doubles with the " best goods" in the Hunt Cup. The doublo Sunray and King has bton backed in ono lino to win :«X), at 100's to 0.

The Christchurch trainer, Goo. Wright, has goL another addition to his string in tho shapo of St Legor, it having boon decided to put him in training again. Ho is a rare brod ono, being got by tho groat Doncastor from Atulantis, but owing to not being in anything liko condition last soason, ho did not have a chanco to prove himself worthy of his breeding. Mr I. Martin's marc Mischief was to ar rivo from Napier to-day by tho s.s. Thomas Kufsell. She comes on a visit to Musket.

It is much to bo rogretted that none of Mr J. Marshall's two-year olds happened to bo nominated for tho Welcomo Stakes 1 ,vhich is to be decided at tho forthcoming Christchurch Meeting, as I understand that at the last moment that gentleman would have been induced to have taken one of the trio down for tho purpose of measuring strides with the Southern youngsters.

The general entries and acceptances re coived for tho Hawke's Bay Jockey Club Spring Meeting augur well for a successful gathering. Out oj the twonty-threo nomi nated for the Spring Handicap, tho good number of thirteen have cried content, whilo eight remain in the Hurdles. Looking ovor those in the Handicap, nothing reads better than Adminstrator, and Minuet 1 should go very near winning the jumping race. Pearl, Christina, Miss Dargon, Marksman, and Misdeal are the names of thoso who havo paid-up for tho Guinea?, and I think Pearl should have little diffi culty in placing tho race to her credit. Mr J. Elliott, of Waitara, who recently purchased Princo George, by Musket — Georgia, informs me that he has limited him to twenty-fivo mares, and had no difliculty in tilling his list. It is his in tention to race him at theTarana.u Autumn Meeting in March next. Pearl Ash (tho dam of tho Bpocdy Pearl) dropped a chestnut filly to Antoros at Sylvia Park this week. Tho nominations for tho principal ovont* of tho Dunediu Jockoy Club Autumn Meet ing which were received on Saturday night last, show a falling oft' in numbor on tho last two years, but this is fully compen sated for by tho superior quality of those entered. With tho exception of Krupp and one or two Napier horses, all tho New Zealand animals of note appear in the list, and I am glad to see that Auckland is represented by Nelson, Wapiti, and Necklace. Tho following shows the num ber of entries rocoived for tho last five seasons:—

1881 1882 18P3 ISSI 1885 Duncdin Cup ..39 38 58 J9 40 J.C. Handicap ..30 3G « 12 38 ForburyHandicap ..20 35 41 41 37

89 109 112 132 115

The programme for the Cambridge Jockey Club Spring Mooting, which is to be held on the sth of December, lias been issued, and I have to acknowledge the receipt of a copy of tho same. There are seven events, the best of which are the Spring Handicap of 50sovs., Steeple chape of 40sovs., and Hurdle Kaeo of 30sovs. Nominations for all handicaps close on the 2nth of November. The Club hold their ueual New Year Meeting on Ist of January.

From Sydney papers to hand this week I learn that Martini-Henry has been on the Randwick track every ino-ning of lato, and is striding along in his old style. He has been treated to some sharp mile and a quarter spins, generally with Alphabet, but the son of Musket it is stated always finishes lengths in front of his companion. By this time it is more than probable that the whole of the Hon. J, White's team aro at Flcmington. getting is dull jn Melbourne on tlie Derby and Gup. The withdrawal of Tho Broker has naturally caused Bargo to harden for the Blue Riband, and anything over 6 to 4 is not obtainable about him, Off Colour still holds the pride of place for the Cup at 100's tp 8 offered, with Bargo, Tremando, Lo ijrandj Hastings, ftnd Hilltop next in public estimation, Thirty-fivo nominations have been re ceived for the Viotoria Racing Club Sires' Produce Stakos of 1888. I notice that among the number appear the names of the N.Z. Stud Company's stallions Mueket and

The scratching of Tho P>rokor for the V.X.C. Derby caused quite a sensation in Melbourne ami Sydney. Mr A. It. Robert ijon, his now owner, wns waited upon by "Vigilant," of tho "Sportsman," with re ference to the matter, and Mr Kobertson in reply to his queries stated that the colt waa never better, but he had not been able to get a fair price about him owing to certain influential owners and backers of horses snapping up all tho money. Mr Kobertson further stated that his sudden withdrawal was in tho intcrutits of the public, as ho was told they had not backed him heavily so far. The bookn appeared determined not to lay him a fair price, and he was certainly not inclinod to let The Broker win for them, and prevent them losing the bets they had laid against Bargo. Against this state ment, however, it may be mentioned that Mr Robertson did some extraordinary wagering at th» liallarat Winter Meeting, for after taking seven hundred to five hundred about Bargo, he laidlive hundred to fifty against his own horso (The Broker), and accepted something liko £4,500 at tens to one about Leporollo for the same event. This Mr Robertson states was done solely by him to send Tho Broker back in tho betting, but it did not have tho dosired effect. Tho whole all'air, to say the least, is a bit mysterious.

Tho Hon. W. Pearson's Frying Pan is now favourite for tho Caul/icld Cup, ho having been freely backed by his owner down to 100's to (j lor a big sum. Iloneydew, Prince Imperial, Beeswax, and King Charles', have been withdrawn from the raco, which still leaves (it) in to do battlo for tho l,3oot)Ovs. " Nemo," who has. boon analysing tho chances of tho dill'orcnt candidates, thinks tho winner will come from ono of tho following: — Malua, Nod o' tho Hills, Martini-llonry, Sir Garnet, C'oulstoun, Battalious, Hastings, Rapid, Claptrap, and Privateer.

When St. Simon cantered homo in tho Goodwood Cup last month, twenty longtliH in front of lost season's Legor winner, Ossian, tho long odds of 100 to 7 wore laid on tho Duko of Portland's cruck winniiiL', and ho little did backers think of the chances of oithor Friday or Ossian, that 100 to . r> against tho first-named, and 100 to I! against Ossian, wore vainly oflbrcd by tho fielders. Only tho threo horses mentioned faced tho Btartor.

The V.R.C. Derby favourite has been a lucky purchase for the Ifon. J, White, and it seema that it was only by a pioco of good luck that ho over became possessed of him. It appears that his brooder Mr A. Town, always had a fondness for tho colt, and when ho heard that Mr Bon.ion, to whom ho wus knocked down, intended to tako him into tho country, ho askod to bo allowed to retain him, so that ho might be trained iv a good stable, Ho was offered to Mr White, but Mr Fonnolly scomod to think thut they had quito uulliciont iv their hands. Mr Town, however, was so natisiiod of the oolt's excollonoe that he stated ho would nevor prevotit the uhoquo of 125 guineax until he had proved that h» wan worth it. His faith was woll rewarded, for already Mr Whits huu wou uver £2,000 in utakuß witii him, and Bargo'u porforuianoen bare incroosod ton-fold the value of Ouuldur Rove oh a bruod muru.

What are the odds about placing thu first throe horses hi the noxt Melbouruo Cup? Tho following from " Asrao dous," of the Melbourne "Ijeador," may give Home idea:—"From Dunedin eomoa intelligonco that ' Ada Mantua,' of oonsulta tion fume, advertises i'loo to bo given away to the first person who places tho first, xocand, and thiid for tho Melbourno Cup, thore being no limit to tho number of ways applicants may placo them. To reduce the mntUsr U> figures, of course tho 101 acceptors could bo placed in as many different posi tions a» is represented by 101 x lOOsil!), that is to say, !)'Ji),W)O. Providing v. purson was to lay himsolf out to accomplish tho task of writing all tho [>ossiblo combinubioiiH, it would tako him Sl.'i days,'t hours, working 12 hours per day, and transcribing StiGouuh und every hour."

TRAINERS' LOTS.

Tho following in a Hot of horsos local trainers haro in hand for forthcoming events: — B. KIiU.Y (KOK .1. CIIAU'K). Sunray. ukoil; Kinir Don. usfed; Klnir, Cj rs ; Kadumus. Jyrs; Derringer, liy Aluskot- KomuHo, L'yrs ; TliiimU'rbolt. by llutkit — lxtclcot, 2ym \ Hunk, by jVluukut—i'urfunio •>yn. J. KHKNCJI. FUhwoman, syre ; Kulo, Syrs ; Flahglrl, lyrs ; iUlU'iiilloii»n, Jyre ; Turnmlu, Uyrs : Musket- Slander colt, 2yra ; Muakot--Kowinii (Illy, 2yra. J. KAIC. Chandler, aged ; Snotovur, Cyra. O. WUIOIIT. Quiln, aged ;St. I.etfor, lyr-: Carbineer, Ilyra ; Kovolvor, 3yrs ; Steal All. by Muskut-All Htecl, 2yra : Lady I,onedalc, by Anteroj— ljidy Slary, '-'yi-s. v. howi.andh. Libeller, aged; Tetford, 3yra; Enltold. b Mualcot—'l'oi. 2yr». w. wood. Llonol, by Lcollnus-retrolouno, 2yrs ; Llonu.ss, by Loolluug—Mlsa Laura, 2 years. R. TflOlll'K. Satanolla. ?yrs; Wulcamo Killlo, byMnskot— Dundoo's Katie. 2yrs. T. OLAKK. Julia Ann, lyrs; Larrikin, lyrs; St. Michael, by Ariel-Matana. 2yrs. 11. TAYLOR. Kxchonge, agod; Topthorn, yrs; Flageolot, Jyrs; Claude, — yr*. — O'ICKKi'K. Yaba Hill, agod; Angler, aged ; Pearl, ISyrs; A.U., lyfs. nunsit HiiQR. K(nK<4mvll, aged i Niggor, aged. J. WATTIE. GUderoy, aged. CONDENSED ITEMS. Mr VV. Percival'B maro Envious, haH been put to Antoros. tirand Duchess has produced a filly to Hippocampus. Old Lara is standing tho season in tho Whangaroi district at tho fee of £2 ss. Choviot has boen scratched for all ongago ments at tho C..J.C. Spring Mooting. Culmu, t!to last Cauitiela Cup winner, htw boen fired, and will not be Been in public again for some months. Tho Bundoora Park stud lias boen further augmented, Mr S. Gardiner having leased Darobin'a brother, Motea.

Mr J. Ltnnard haa determined not to race his two-year-old filly Capella till lato in the season, and she has been turned out.

The Adelaide sportsman Mr James Allison, haa sold his colt by Epigram—Foxglove to Mr D, Proudfoot, of Sir Modrod fame, for £200.

A well-known and respected Australian jockey, who has steered a Derby and Cup winner, says that Battalious will win the CaulfieldCup. Mr P. F. Tancred has bought Pilgrimage, who won the Sessions Handicap at Island Bay Meeting. Ho is by Javelin from Lady of the Lake.

The Lambkin, who won tho Doncaster St. Legor, was quoted at 100 to SI (takeu and offered) when the mail left. Suporba was favourite at 5 to 1.

For the Caullield Guineas of next year, 30 nominations havo been received. The Muskofc colte N«rdetifeldht and Matchlock appear in the list. How have the might, fallen ! Falmouth, tho winner of th'j Hawkesbuiy Guineas of 1879, was latoly sold by auction in Sydnoy, and realised tho paltry stun of 18 guineas.

Now that Lord Falmouth's stud is brokon up, tho Duchess of Montrose owns the finest and most valuable collection of brood wares in Kngland, Mr Chaplin's not even oxcopted. P. Pigott has thoroughly recovered from tho effects of tho injuries he received by Tho Plunger-Dolueion collision last year, and will bo ready to ride at tho forthcoming Victorian meetings.

At the Mauritius. Races last month, the Maiden Plate, of 4,000 rupees,was contested for by four Australian horses—Linda, Duke dom, Little Jack, and Drummer—and was won by Linda.

Osric, the colt who ran so well in the SydnoyTattersaU'sTwo-year-oldStakes,and was subsequently sold to Mr A. F, Smart for a stiffish figure, has been rc-ohristened Bureldah. He has boen supported to win the Maribyrnong Plato for a good stake at 100'sto6,

Mr Folger, the Secretary of the Treasury has given permission to Mr Keeno, the well, known owner of racehorses, to export to England, without payment of duty, the Ascot Cup, which he won in 1882 with Fox hall. The cup has lain in the Custom house at Now York sinco it was sent from England, Mr Keene objecting to pay tho l.OOOdols. duty demanded by the Customs authorities.

OFFICIAL REPORT OF THE AS TRONOMER-ROYAL.

"Sydney Observatory, February 26th, 1880. Several ot Ihe rutc curves respond tp the phangiJ 11 tlio barometer in a way that phows tho isochronal pro]>i-riicß ot their balance springs are not «iv tc porfeot, Looking down the curves, ■t becomes al'onro evident that Watch No. 5, which is No. (>70,01>8, second grade, of the American Wallham Watch Compuny, is re. markably free from tlteso defects, and presents iho beht rate of all the watches teetort. Amongst the cheaper watches tested, No, 0, which 18 No. 1.221,330 of thi> American Wftltham Watch Company is worthy of notice j it is a watoh of the sixth umilu. >«it its performance lias been butter than that of many v..ry expensive and otherwise first-class watches tested. Such a watch 8/oaks volumes in favour of the system under which it was made, and is the best com ment upon the accuracy of the machines that produced it. H. C. Jtussull, 8.A., F.R.A.S., Astronomer • Koyai, Sydney Observatory."— Aon.}

FIELD SPORTS AND AQUATICS.

(BY ACTION.I

CRICKET FIXTURES.

October 4—Aueklund First Klevon v. Twenty two Colts.

October 11—West End First Eleven v. Twenty two Colts.

Octobor 18-Weat Knd First Eloven v. Twenty two Colts. Octobor 31—Shaw's English Klevcn v. Aus tralian Team, at Adelaide.

AQUATIC FIXTURES.

Octobor—Opening of tho boating season. October 20-Mat,terson v. Kemp, £:iooa-Bide, on the Nepean course. November 9—Whan River Regatta. January 29—Auckland Annual Regatta. February 7—Hanltn v. Clifford, £. r)00 ft-sido. February 28—Clifford v. Beach, £500 a-sidc March 28-Hanlan v. Beach, £500 aside and championship of tho world, on tho Paramatta River. April 18-Clilford v. Hanlan (if the former is victurioiiH in hia inateli witli Beach). OMHurd v. Teenier, £500 E'Side.

CYCLING FIXTURES.

October—Opening of tho season.

Awiionnil there was no very brilliant play by individual playors in the Waikato- Auckland football match, all worked hard. Bothtcanis.howover.appearedtoliavehadin sullicio it practice together. Tho dinner in the evening at Bach'u Royal Hotel was of that hospitable and jolly character for which Waikato is famous. After the usual tuasts hail been drunk, (several Bongs were ren dered and a pleasant evening was spent by all present. Accounts of tho match pre viously published have boon meagre, and a few more particulars as follow will probably provo of interest:— The weather was splendid, the ground good, and there was also a large attendance. Each side had a full team. Messrs Sandes and Cotter acted as umpires for Waikato and Auckland respectively, whilo Mr Bindon officiated as referee. Auckland kicked off, and, during the most of the first spell, had the ball in their enemies' quarters, although Hunt and Julian made several useful runs which curried it out of danger for tho time. After abou 110 minutes' play, Carter threw in from bounds to \X Skeun, who quickly passed to R. Wood, who carried tho oval right under the posts and touched down. This try was disallowed, however, from tho Waikato umpire's decision that it was not thrown in straight. Shortly afterwards Auckland had better hick, for after a gocxl loosescrimmage, Mountfort and Voti Stunner, who had been playing well throughout, carried the ball ovor tho lino, and the former touched down. The kick at goal (a difficult one at an angle) wus taken by Ryan, who landed a splondui goal. Towards the end of the first spoil, O'Connor secured the bull from tho throw in and took it behind the bars. Ryan was again successful at tho place-kick, and brought tho score to 10 points to Auckland, Waikato vil. In tho second term, although Waikato, in the persona of Hunt, McNiccol, and (iribblo, made strenuous efforts to scoro, the play was a good deal looser on but!) tides. After somo varying play by both teams, MeNiecol ran clean behind, the Auckland full backs making hardly any attempt to stop him, being under tho im pression that ho had gono out of bounds. This was not the case, however. The try at goal was taken by E. Pilling, who failed in an easy attempt. After a lot of hard work on both cidos, mure especially by White and Carter for Auckland, and Hunt and .Julian for tho local men, the gamo linished as above.

The 13-fuoter Clianco, which was launched tliiH week, has been cold by Maguire to Spiers and Kiley.

I. Barton, of I'oneonby, has almost com pleted a new 4-ton yacht, carver built, which will take part in tho Auckland Regatta.

Clare laid tlio keel of F. Crumond's new yacht on Wednesday last. She ia to have ISovt. of lead outside.

H If. Shield.-*, who lin« won the British uvonly miles nnmteur championship, did the distanco in Hi. 22min. 20cecs., though the ground was bud.

Wayinoutli is still engaged on the three racing dingies to which 1 made referenco recently, He linn also an order for a light pulling skiff for Good, of W'airoa.

Tlioro is a possibility of Napier Rowing Club sending a whaleboat crew to the Auck land Regatta; and they have, with this object in view, recently been making in quiries as to the required dimensions.

Amongst the l(i-footers to bo built for the Auckland Regatta will be ono by C, li.-iiley, junior, who, having disposed of his yacht, intends to go in for another opon boat.

A dingy race between Messrs J. Williams, J. Howpoii, J. Lylas, Holland, T. Carter, and J. Brett wah to have taken place last Saturday, but had to bo postponed owing to bad weather until this afternoon.

Carr has several boats imder.way in his boat-shed, but most of thorn are for ships or the islands, One is a handsome whaleboat built to the order of Donald and Edin borough.

C. Bailoy has recoived orders from Judge Fenton for a light pleasure boat, 18ft. long, Oft. wide, and 2ft. deep; also for a i'.l't. pleasure boat from Messrs. Baker and Webber, of Tonga.

Tho " Bulletin " says : " Beach and party havo inventod a new stylo of sliding—back sliding." This, of course, refers to the Australian's conduct re his next match with Hanlan.

On roforenco to our Aquatic Fixtures, it trill bo seen that this mattor has been settled by the fixing of dates for four matches between Hanlan, Beach, and Clifford,

The St. George's Rowing Club are having a second whaleboat built by Warbrick. It is understood that this Club will enter for the junior race only at the VVhau Regatta, paving no efficient senior crew.

Tho Auckland bicyclist* are already making preparations for opening tho coming season with a grand display, and it is ex pected that Saturday aftornoon next will see fully a hundred wheelmen out for the opening spin. v

The new 4-ton yacht which. C. Bailoy, junior, was building foiv the Auckland Regatta has been purchased by A. Nicholson, who intends to use her for fishing, but will enter her for tho small yacht race at coming regattas.

The Sydney Suburbnn Bicycle Club has a rulo requiring " *ix starters or no race." The "Bulletin" says: "Why this idiotic rule is- adhered to is beyond us, unless it is to block uny one particular rider who may havo tho race well in hand, as was done on ono occasion."

Tho new whaleboat which Bailoy ia building for the Waitemata Boatircg Club is somewhat of a novolty. H6r gtirboard streak, whip]) runs the whole length, is Haft, long and fully 24 inches wide. It has been fastenod to a nice modol, and will probably be an improvement on the ordinary small streak.

The one-mile amateur bioycle champion ship of England was carried off by II A Speechley, with C. E. ' Liles second." Speechley won after a rare struggle' by a bare three inches. The last lap (a quarter of a mile) was done by the winner in 36 2-5 seconds, equalling the record for a quarter. In the fjr.«t neat of the second round, Li^a ueat Speechley by a yard and a-half, the. time being 2 minutes 5j 0,5 seconds,

When the _ All-England team beat the Australians in July, the London "kntr1 Acte published a cartoon representing the British hon, bat m hand, saying to the Australian kangaroo (whose face was a caricature of: <« Spoffs," and whoso pouch was filled with "gate-money ") ■ "Well you don't mind a good licking so long as you get the gate-money, do you'"— " Bulletin,"

A few months ago the American papers published a statement t,o tho effect' that all the principal scullers had signed an agree ment never to row with Courtney again, boeuuso of his peculiar conduct in several race.*. Teenier, whose name wtis mentioned in this connection, says he authorised no body (o sig^n his name, and adds ;—" I never had anything to do with Mv Courtney, and have no reason to complain or to protest against him. lam willing to row any oars man in the world on reasonable conditions, and bar no one from competing against me in either match or regatta."

It is estimated that the whaleboat race at the Auckland Regatta will not bring out anything iess than twelve crews of "seniors," and it is consequently advis able that a good money prize should be given. Some of those who are likely to be most interested consider £75 would not be unreasonable, the expense, incurred in training so many men being great. The following clubs have whaleboats now in their sheds or ordered :—Waitemata Club, three boats; St. George^, two; Ponsonby, two;

Mannkau, one ; Onohunga, one ; Thames, one; Wairoa, one. Probably tho new West End Club will have ft new whaleboat built for the Auckland Regatta, so they will add one to the largo number already given.

Mr William Beach's friends, says the "Town and Country," have more than justified the old saying : " Save me from by friends." On 28th August last, a pre liminary agreement was distinctly made for a match between Beach and Hanlan, and a meeting was held Tuesday evening for the purpose of definitely fixing the terms of that agreement. To the intense surprise and disgust of everyone who admires fair play, Mr Beach's friends suddenly backed out of this agreement on the ridiculous plea that Beach would prefer rowing the winner in the match between Clifford and Hanlan. As Mr Deeble put it:—" If Hanlan is un fortunate enough to be beaten by Clifford, Clifford should not bo deprived of the op portunity to win the championship if possible." This is wondexfully considerate for Clifford ; but some consideration —to say nothing of justice—was due to Hanlan in the first instance. The pretext under which the champion's friends withdrew from their agreement is too thin to deceive any one. It is obviously their policy to force tho Canadian sculler to row in the hot weather ; in other words, to place him at a disadvantage. It may be perfectly true that "all's fair in love nnd war," but this sort of thing is not tactics—it is mere trickery. There is really no reason why the Australian champion—in whose success we are all interested—should allow his laurel? to be tarnished by anything that can be construed into double-dealing, especially in view of the unpleasant criticisms which such conduct i.s certain to draw down on us in England and America. Wo indulge the hope that tho champion will lose no time in repudiating the action of his too zealous frionds, and honestly adhere to his own agreement.

THE GARDEN.

(...) [By Hortus.]

(Hortub 1b willing to answer any queries. Cor respondents must give their full names and Addresses, though not for publication.]

Calender of Operations, September 27,

TO CORRESPONDENTS. Vink Pruning (Grapes).—l am sorry that you did not prune back sufficiently during the winter, It is too lato now; if pruned now your vines would bleed oxceesivoly, and spoil all chanco of a good crop for this season, Dis budding the superfluous shoots would answer your purpoao ; this simply consists in breaking oil' the young shoots at the base. You nhauld not take more than from one to two bunches of fruit off the canes this year, and that in 8 measure niunt depend on the strength of the cane. Recollect, the lees fruit taken from vines the first and second year of their fruit intr will givo you all the better crops ia the future.

Jlm.o.Nri, Cucumderb (Amateur).—l would not plant out for another week or go yet. Have all the hills prepared for the melona. Uae artificial manures for the cucumbers, place about a barrow load of manure undar each hill; tho cucumber likes adeep, rich, moist soil, while the melon will produce smaller fruit, but of a much flnor flavour, on dry soils. OnouND Vinery (R.G.)—Ye», I would place tho frames and glass over the canes now; your vines must havo started, and the frames ohould have bi-en placed in this poaition whenever the first motion of the Bftp was observed. It would be impossible for me to give you tho advice you require as to their management from timo to time without seeing ycur vines at the lime, and that I could not undertake. Your best plan would bo to see Dr. Sanders, of I'arnell, who has over twenty vineries of tho above under cnltiva lion, and 1 know that ho would bo onl> too happy to show you wliut lie is dointf, 80 at lo guide you in your operations. Ono or two lessons, if you aro very apt, would be suf ficient

CocicscoMiis (Floriht).—lt is too early to plant them and tlie asters out ret. Wait till the season in a little further advanced. Tho rest of I lie annuals you mention are hardy. I'ui them out at once, and pow more seed for sue cession. Before pluming out from thu frame. place them out, in their pots, in the open ah for übuut a week, bo as to nardenoff tho plant THANHI'I.ANTINO SEKDLINGS (M.A.) —Do not transplant your seedlings until they havo matle from two to four proper leaves. Until sucl. time they huvu not gained suflioient strength to boar removal, Hie roots not being ablotc perform their proper functions if transplanted 100 early. No plants can bear sudden con tlasts of temperature: therefore bring nothing direct from a hot-house to the open air. Warm weuther should be chosen oven for bringing Always hardun off as much as possible before a change is made.

Beetroot.

This useful and wholesome root is easy enough to grow anywhere, and on any kind of foil, so long as It is sweet and well pulverised. The soil should not be too heavily manured, or tht roots will grow too coarse, rank, and bad flavoured, and not so rich in colour. To prevent this, if the soil is rich grow the plants thickly, and if your soil is stiff, heavy, and cold, ridgo and sow on the top of the ridges. Thin moderately, so as to get nice-sized roots ol a good dark colour. White or silver boot should, be mo.ro extensively grown here j they would bo very useful during the autumn, the leaves being picked and used liko spinach. The nice crisp white stalks make a good substitute for seakale. The Chilian iB much used in Britain as a decorative plant, the leaver being finely variegated with a variety ot rich colours. Thin Seedlings. In tho growing of flowers and vege tables, over-crowding ie one of the sins of most amateurs. Because he is pinched for space, he crowds his plants, forget ting that every living thing must have room to grow and develop, and if it has not, attenuation must be the con sequence. Of this there can be no doubt, and yet how often do we see crops of vege tables grown so closely together that it it impossible to obtain fair specimens. With good seed, thick Bowing is waste, and the neglect of timely thinning must result in injury to the crop. The young plants got drawn up—long, lanky, and tender then when the thinning does take place, they receive a check which takes them some time to recover. Whenever seedling flowers or vegetables make from two to four leaves, thin out, unless such aa require to be transplanted : allow these to get a little stronger. Whon thinning, estimate what dimensions each vegetable attains at maturity, and allow each seedling the proper space. ' ' * Big Vegetables. It is a common mistake of inexperienced people to consider size as themost important of all qualities alike in flowers, fruit, and vegetables. Within certain limits size is undoubtedly of importance, but the instant wo favour size at the expense of colour or flavour in vogetables or fruit, we encourage retrogression. Good flavour, tenderness, and beauty of appearanop, are three most important qualities and 5h0u.U,l bo sought in preference to sizo, although as remarked : above, wherj c^vt^in limitations are - c cognised, every advance in t)" 0 B i ze of any particular vegetable is.a» a d"'antase In any and in every case nudity % c sought for first; au;i as a ru i o of two t equal in quality, the larger must have the preference. This subject should bo con sidored m connection with cultivating as wqU as In the purchase o,f seeds. The ambition to prow large cucumbers causes many an amateur to cut for hip table or his friends coarse fruits of groat size, that are simply tough bitter, and unwholesome, instead of smaller frui,te. oi tend»r textur. and delicious flavour and perfect '-' nn u someness. Newly all th» vegeta ° b 7 O mtm aye in. cultivation. The latest bmetroot; are much more suit able {or t uo pig trough than the salad Dowl, We have frequently advised the cultivation of the smallest in preference to tho_ largest sorts of cabbage, because of delicacy of flavour. The largest onions are the worst keepers.—"lllustrated Garden." Planting Potatoes on Manure. I should be pleased if some potato growors amongst the readers of the " Garden," who have not yet tried planting sets upon long manure in furrows, would do bo. As a rule, in gopd gardens, the soil is rich enough to produce good crops of pota toes, without the addition of manure but it is a too common rule, none t.O less to work in a liberal dressing, not merely with the view of producing a big crop of tubers, but also for the benofit of the succeed ing crops. If tho manure were given fresh to the other crop, and the pota toes made the manured succession, no doubt it would be better for them ; but in planting tubers over the dressing of lung manure, the object is not so much to stimulate growth although that of course results to some ex tent as to furnish a dry, warm bottom and needful drainage. When potatoes are lifted soon after ram, it is found that the roots are always apparently wetter than the sur rounding soil. As the tubes swell, they pre3s the soil about them somewhat into the shaiie of a basin, and when the rain comes it is longer in passing through the walls of this basin than through the soil adjoin ing. If, however, there be put under the roots a layer of long manure that will keep open the lower side of the basin and, allow the moisture to percolate freely away the tubers will at any time lift div anri

Ihavefonnrl th» wry he»t iwiiiHsi fallow from this plitn. .Ju.-t no* I am j/cl-'ing a large bruid'h of givwuil Vlii-mn up into throe-fovt ridges, aii'l dinjutly in tho furrow.-* shall bo laid a dress ing of long manure. This will ha dua in. A shallow drill will bo drawn down the centre of the furrow with a hoe, and the sets will belaid in the drill, mid of cunye immediately upon tho manure. The rid^e* on either side will then bo p:uti:dly forked over the sets, and when umtvunieut >i ill lio further forked over to leave them in a loo>o state ready for earthing them up, which is also done with the fork, the be.-t implement in good potato culture. - A D. in "The Garden."

Gaidexs on Fakms. — Nearly every farmer tries to devote one, two, or three acreo or more for nn orchard. Now, a good orchard on every farm is, no doubt, a capital thing to have; but our farmers must try oiid go a little farther, and get a good kitchen garden as well. Most of them think that a kitchen garden is too much trouble. Well, there is no doubt that a garden does give trouble, but look at the pleasure to have first-class peas, beans, cauliflowers, cabbages, onions, etc., of youT own growing. Wo have often heurd farmers remark that they never have any of the ordinary garden vegetables unless when they come to town. Now, if a small plot of ground was fenced in near the homestead, and cropped with the ordi nary garden vegetable?, what an in crease to the luxuries of the homo productions. Some say that they give tro much trouble. Now, there is not much trouble in a well-managed pieco of ground, especially as you can turn the plough in occasionally. Where there are young fami lies growing up, try and promote a love for flowers in them ; give them a small plot for a flower garden, no matter though it is only common flowers they grow therein. It will teach them something which they will take a pleasure in all their life. I would like to see some more of our farmers come forth at the annual horticultural shows, competing with our gardeners. By writing the above I do not mean to infer that all our farmers are deficient in their love of flowers or vegetables. In fact, in some of my rambles out in the country district, I have seen gardens attached to i'urms which would compare favourably with any amateur's garden in the city or suburbs, where no professional assistance was engaged. And what is still better in nearly every instance, those gar dens were invariably managed by the good ladies on the farm, with the assistance of tho grown-up children. Sometimes I was told the goodman grumbled when his or the men's assistance was required for the heavier [icn-Lion of the wciU, such as digging, manuring, &c, as they would say it took too much time away from the farm work ; but when the produce of the garden was o;i tho table they would invariably take the credit of growing it themselves. 1 will only add that every farm ought to have a garden of some sort. There in a want of completeness without it.

BURNED TO DEATH.

Terrible Accident on a Clrona Train In

Colorado.

Dknveb, August 29. — Tho " News" Greeley special says: The burning of a circus car nine miles north of Greoley to day waa attended with indescribable horrors. The burned car was next to the

engine in a train of seventeen cars, con taining Orton's Anglo-American Circus, which left Fort Collins about midnight for Golden, over the Greeley, Salt Lake, and Pacific Road. The train was nearing VVindseer, a small station near Greeley, running about twenty-five miles an hour* when Engineer Collepriest discovered a cap on fire. Ho reversed the engine and threw open the whistle-valve. There were sixty men in the car, arranged in three tiera of berths on either Bide. The forward Bide, door was closed, and men in bunks were sleeping up against it. The rear side door was also closed, and the men who awoke discovered that the lower unoccupied berth next to it, containing rubbish, was On fire, filling the car with smoke and cutting oft escape on that side. '

The only means of egress was through a small window between the car and ©Bi'ine John Pine, of Edgerton, Wis., and Elmer Mill, of lowa, crawled through the opening and tried to pass in water from the engine tank. Owing to the suffocating gases, it waa difficult to arouse tho sleepers. Some ware kicked and bruised in a shocking manner and pitchod out of the windows. The screams of those unable to get through tb& blockaded aperture were terrifying. Tha wild glare of the flames and cries of tha burning victims writhing with agony on t)ie cactus beds caused the wild beasts ij> the adjoining car to become frantic with, terrof making tho scene appalling. "|< ne p er ! formers, who occupied the re»v carß ffa 2; e( j with white faces on the awfu.'i spectacle In the midst of the. 'confusion two or three heroic souls Speared equal to Hie occasion and bravely cut their way to their companions, to find them already in the agony of death. Albert Lake, in charge of the animals, and his friend Kent, walked over the cactus in their bare feet, pouring buckets of oil on the blistered unfortunate and wrapping them fa blankets. An old Pacific coast sailor named McDenald. formerly of Foiftpaagh show, was terribly burned. Meantime the engine had gone to breeley for assistance, returning with Dr Jesse Howes, President of the State Medical Association. Many of the rescued, in beioe pulled through the sraaJl window, had limbs broken or joints dislocated At daylight a flat oar carried the charred bodies into Greeley for interment ' Th« County Commissioners buried th, e remains in a huge coffin seven feet wide and ten feet long in the Greeley Cemetery. The Sfn / fif't thl conducted the funeral services. The Coro ner impaneled a jury, -which waa unable to learn the cause of t\ ie fire or any impor tant facts, aa the manager*, with the re- SrPnM + «i(i On, lpan^ left for Golden to fill their afternoon engage- Krt ? lmPoßslble t|» g«t a complete list of the dead, as many haS been engaged but a day or two. and their names-are In known The names of the dead, as learned, Wta" Tnn W :- A r le^^ e od v of Marinette Wis.; Thomas Carboy, of Independence' la.; John Kelly, of New I'ork City: tU .others wero known aa Silverthorn, Andy* Ferk h ny ow n Frank'Geo^Sm^.^ The following is a list of the suffered by the circus-car hre, now at St. LukeV, Hogpi tal, m Denver :-E. E, Fairbanks L*a £ i arms, legs, and face, badly b-v rne d ? S Aih«,t burned. f tar , k King, of Menominee, Mich,, ; Dao y burned aboufc th(} handg and » ..lichael McGlinn, aged 28, of Holton. Mich., face and hands badly burned ; Hneh 0 Donnell, aged 56, of New Orleans, badly burned about the fane, amis, hands, and back, and will probably die. A number of the rescued agree that in the car were two barrels of gasoline, which | were exploded either by sparks from the .engine, or from a naked torch, with which selve?tobT aOCMtomed to »te»* «««».

A Big Strong Box.

The construction of Mr Vanderbilt'tf treasuro-house in New York i 8 described in minute detail by one of the French papers/ which begins by calling the exterior build' ing iteolf as a "formidable fortre™ of masonry and iron." This name is not, how over wholly inappropriate, if it is true that no force, however, numerous and well armed, would be at ail likely to take it by storm without the aid of heavy artillery. •The foundations of the house were laid as lit W said on a solid rook, and the front wail ; was hve thick, the side walls measuring three feet. All these aro composed solely of brick and facing Bton e. There is uo woodwork whatever about the place, all tho supports, sashes, and framings beine of iron or steel, and tho doors and windows of iron, marble, and pinto glasc. The sanctum of this abode is, of cou.~e the strong room. 42 feot by 30 k-etin dimension, composed altogether of iron and steel, and having four doors each of which weighs 8,000 lbs This chamber is built into the solid will v. |,i~|, ~ it 01l )h[) and Jt is, n, oour.o, (ireproof, waterproof, and burglar proof. It is, moreover, guarded day and night by lull, armed men, sub jected to tho strictest discipline, up standing the word in a truly Am^jriean, sense. That is to say, their movements aa they are on guard aro reported to the upper part of the house by oWtrio clocks, and this upper part of the house communil cates again with njl the other telegraph, stations of the system, as well as with tta central public office. It is calculated that IOP. men, posted in the inside of tbe building, and armed with mit m ™eß' -i° U! d T' 1? defend Jt againßlr 10,000 assailants, which is more thai? even. *"Q fneniiea of Mr Vanderbijt are likalr in. '-:

THE AUCKLAND EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1884.

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