RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamii.l..]

•■Snme write, a neighbour's name to ln«,h Semo writo-valn thou_rhl!-f<.r a.< .Ifnl cash, -Joino wrlto to please the count'-y clash,

Anil raise, a din, l 1 or mi, on aim I never fash— I write for fun.

How unvarying is human nature in ovory stratum of society. The slipshod femalo who neglects her husband's dinner in order that she may gossip with another loquacious termagent on the other side of the fence is never happy unless tho whole neighbour hood has beon sot by the ears. The pro moters of goody - goody tea-fights mix scandal with thoir buns and toast, and heart-burnings, bickerings, and childish rivalries aro the predominant products of our fashionable "At Homes" and monthly "socials"—sad misnomer. In that high toned suburb which caps our western hill most unnatural admixture of retail and wholesale aristocracy, within a proletariat setting—there has been a sad to do. Time was when the fortnightly "hops" wero homely, undress, " comc-as-you-aro " sort of affairs. Then certain young prigs mounted whito tics, mortgaged their sal aries for diamond studs, and drew largely upon tho good naturo of their laundress. Starch ruled tho day in shirt-bosoms and manners. Miss Book-Muslin wanted to outshine Miss Satin Shoes. Parents who had looked upon the thing as a rather p_a. 1 sant outing for the girls, groaned iiiwr.rdtv, but bled in the hope of conquest rv,d p ro . spectivo establishments, whilo c i M sweet innocents wasted their fragr-^ voe 0 f pmilcs and blushes on the ine-jt-jj ant l mone tary desert of Alg; ornoll Small-Talk, whose establishment. CO n,._3ted in a too attentive tailor, w;, c h a nro digio«s bill, and a motherly »".i^ erwlM n,

."} .<-«__» the retailers and "go-as-you- P j^tse" folk found themselves decorating die wall or forming sots in out-of-the-way parts of the hall. But the British lion is not to bo thus trifled with ; just trend on his tail, and sco how he will show his teeth. Feeling tho atmosphere chilling for warm and impulsive hearts, ono contingent filed off and sot up for themselves on tho old lines. They voted starch a bore, and reserving Yin to themselves the inalionablo right of every trnly social British society to a moderate Amount of scandal as a sauce piquante to give spico to their otherwise prosaic ro unions, got along very well. A rough breeze, in consequence of somebody hintin<* that somebody els 9 was not _»uitc so (food ns he ought to bo, or that the committee *'oughtn't to havedonoit," nearly set the ark among the breakers once or twice, but •calm was restored and jollity got the better of ill-nature. The ark, therefore, still floats peacefully upon the waters. Tho creme de ia w.me having rid themselves of the skim inilk, discovered that there wero still curdl ing elements iv the dish. Mr A. thought that Mr B. had too much say in this thing, and Mrs C. had passed tho door of Mrs to. to call on Mrs E. Then A., having made himsolf obnoxious, was quietly dropped out of the noxt list of Invitations ; and vowing venceanco, he resolved that he would stAl-t s •'nop "of his own. Then cAiilo disrup tion —A. took his faction, and the original stock, further reduced, held on its way. But tho majority of the ladies, with trite womanly intuition on a question of fashion, stuck to the old party ; and the story runs that nt the last assembly of tho sa_>ders, instead of tho usual number of feminino wall flowers, a portly medico and more portly newspapor man, being ■deter mined not to lose their favourite exercise, were seen solemnly gyrating Sound the hall in loving ombrnco, perspiration streaming from overy pore. It has always been a mystery to me where the fun of tho " light fantastic" strikes a man who i. on the wrong side of forty, with a tendency to obesity, but a dolicate fragment in silk would account for much that is otherwise occult. Whon it comos to a couple of re spectable middle-aged gentlemen revolving round each othor, and inhaling the odour of tobacco at second hand, however, I givo the riddle up, and confess with befitting humility that in tho matter of social cn trancements " /.nmiel " is nn irrcclaimablo Philistine. I

"Mr -Montgomery, the ponderous and Tmnnc, was very badly usod by tho 'orny ..nded at Christchurch. Dear, innocent old .nan I he accepted an invitation from tho Working Mon's Political Association to lill a seat on tho platform at Sir Georgo Grey's meeting ; and, not boiii" numbered among thoso who hide their light under a bushel or take a place at tho lower end of tho table until the host shall como and bid him go up higher, tho seat he did take was a pretty conspicuous ono. Beaming graciously on tho assembled multitude as they encouraged tho spoaker with their tinging cheers, he was led along like a lamb to the slaughter, jjttle dreaming—good, easy soul I—that he iiad boon trotted out for execution—one of his butchers having at that very moment a _ut-and-drted resolution in his pocket de posing him from the leadership, and crown ing Sir Georgo Grey in his stead. When the position of affairs dawned upon him, he with drew precipitately from theplatf orm, and was heard afterwards te lay upon his betrayers a curse too dreadful and blood-curdling for those non-sensational notes.

Tho sins of money-lenders are tho delight ful theme upon which some of us have been airing our own superlative virtues. We don't lend our money at forty or fifty por cent. Most of us are safo in thinking that- wo never shall havo tho chance ; there fore this is ono sin we can damn with per fect safety 5 and we find ourselves in a con ditio^ of positive mora! exaltation when wo consider what rascals there are in the world. Our hearts oven melt towards what wo are pleased to call "the victims1' of these extortions, and so long as they do not apply to us for a loan (which, by-the-way, we would not givo them for 500 per cent.), we are prone to think them rather ill-usod indi viduals. We quite ignore the trifling cir cumstance that they have run into debt in overy place where they could get it on moderate terms., have pledged every security, before they approach the money lendor, inspired by the resolve to measure their wits against his. The poor dear crea tures had been accustomed to their cigar, theirbottle of Rcederor, and their club; they really cannot exist without them, and it is dreadful for those coarse money lenders to ask them such an exorbi tant price for the gratification of Buch innocent tastes ! Unmitigated bosh, tho borrower nine times out of ten is the bigger sharper of tho two ; he has no particular qualms of conscience about plying; his motto is simply to borrow wherever, whenever, and however he can. He borrows £50 off Brown to pay £20 to Bobinson, and retains a trifling surplus for his little necessities; then to meet Brown in turn he raises £100 off Smith, less £25 for the three months bill • that leavos still £25 for dear William. And so tlio gamo goes on, tho rope gradually tightening until it strangles—sweet Wil liam, you say, oh dear no; but his butchers and his bakers and candlestick makers, with the last of the financial fraternity who trusted him. As for William, is he not another "victim ol those money-lenders, a martyr? Unhappy deluded one,give him his certificate; with a clean sheet he may have quite a happy time ao-ain ; there aro always flats to be caught; confiding tradesmen and struggling women to be swindled, and money-lenders who will BDoculate on the game until it runs its natural course. What matters it though those low shopkeepers suffer? William has a happy time, and has not a benevolent and and paternal Government provided away of escape so that his carcase shall not sco "' the inner walls of tho prison-house or his delicate hands bo soiled by work ? Very 'dreadful fellows those money-lenders, and their speculations or their customers aro not the sort which men of sensitive honour • would covet-but givo the devil Ins due, their rate of interest is not so vory extravagant or disproportionate to then risk.

' There was a little Bethel not far from " Hobson-street, owned and worshipped in by a congregation of exclusive and very holy persons. They despise the shams and empty frivolities of this Vanity Fair, abhor all forms of sacerdotalism and ceremonial •usage, and'wage a constant war agaufst the wiles of the world, the flesh, and the devil But despite their austerity of man ner and severe simplicity of ritual, it seems thov can sometimes unbend themselves and tako a little recreation. The manner in which they contrive to find it however "not a littlo peculiar. A youthful friend of mine was recently prevaded upon to in vest in a ticket for one of their social Gatherings. Ho found at the place of on -1 terSent a preponderance °f gushing females, and both brethren and s.stern morbidly intent upon osculatorv enjoyment As scon M the tea tables had been cleared - away, the chief elder took the chair and an nounced that the remainder of the evening would be devoted to social games. 'Kiss in the ring" in good old style was the

first item upon the programme, and it was carried out under the ohai_.rtah . personal direction. He insisted upon tho full pay mont of nil penalties, and every kiss had to bo given with a reverberating smack, other wise ho would promptly interpose with tho remark, " Now then, no shamming. Do it again i I don't hear that kisß." Othor games followed, and, after a regular surfeit of indiscriminate osculation, my young informant made tracks for homo. He said that ho would hot have minded tho delicate attentions of buxom girls SO'much, but he could not for tho lifo of him stand the withered cheeks, yellow fangs, and stale breath of the eldorly fe males who yiolded not in liveliness of spirit to their younger sisters.

_ ' Fomalo suffrage" is a popular "plank " in all Radical platforms, and therefore vory few were surprised to hear both Majer Atkinson and Sir George Groy declare in their Auckland addresses that they favoured the extension of electoral privileges to tho fair sex. The reasoning reader will havo drawn from the above sentence the inference that.l look upon tho Premier and the leader of the Opposition as undoubted Radicals— a conclusion which I consider irresistible from tho expressed viows of these gentle men. But if a belief iti the "women's rights " question is a test of Radicalism, I must plead guilty to being but a shaky specimen. With all due respect to Mrs Z, and tlio thousands of o.lioV amiable and estimable wom.e„ in the colony, I bog to doubt if tiiey havo any "rights" in the in.'.V.or, Mini and wife aro a unit jas Longfellow puts it, .

As unto tho how .the cord is,

I 8o unto tho man Is woman;' I and it would introduce disunion and bitter iuss and strife if electoral privileges woro conferred upon both sexes equally—setting husband against wife, brother against sistoi" lover against Sweetheart, and so on. The idea to Vi.y mind is utterly impracticable and absurd ; but tlmt probably ts rather a recommendation than otherwise to tho ordinary Radical. Another fact should be ■borne steadily in mind—tho ladies don't want the franchise. The dear creatures know tho oxtent of their {. Vvev at present, and to be placed on an " equality " with man wouW bo a lowering of their status, iftstoad of an elevating ef it. They know (at least Mrs Z. does) the stops of progres sion by whioh tho eom..i.__d.i was reached of old that " _.«._._■ "a wife rules tho world," and they are quite contented with their position. Any one to bo convinced of this had only to look round tho audience In tho dress circlo of tho Th____ when Major Atkinson e_.pt.-_t-.. himself in favour of female su.__.ge. To my eye, at loast, it was \ _ry npparcnt that tho applnuso which greeted the sentiments of tlio gallant Major came not so much from "strong-minded women " as from weak-minded men I

My views on tho suffrage question not withstanding—or more correctly, because of these views—l claim to bo an advanced Radical. Let mo explain. Has it never struck those peoplo who clamour for "Women's rights " that the effect of enfran chising tho female s'O'x would be vastly to increase tho jiower of Conservatism ? \"ot such would bo tho undoubted effect of. Ibis so-called Liberal measure... E»g___li Con servatives know thi.. su'd it will bo seen from Loudcli cablegrams published tho other day that many leading Tories nru supporting tho proposal for female suffrage. Women arc notoriously Conservative* a. .Vse to new ideas, and inclined to keep by the old paths. They nt. easily led away by the meretricious gljtter of wealth, rank, and military glory ; hence the." 'would be found, i. they had a vCicc St. polities, encouraging tho perpetuation of a lauded aristocracy and wiuKlug at the ovils of war, because of .'..0 dazzle and glaro of parading troops, and tho Desdemoiia-liko delight which the sot take in listoning to talcs of niasculino bravery. No ; I claim to bo as Radical as either Sir Georgo or tho Premier, but I cannot endorse their viows ou this subject. I quite approve, however, of ladies attend ing political meetings when thoy can, and taking tin intelligent interest in the courso of legislation, and I havo no doubt that their warm sympathies, clear intuitions, and noble impulse, directed in that wny to questions of practical concern, will achieve much good through that channel which lisago and setiso of propriety aliko assign them — thoir intlucr.co over husbands, brothers, or lovers,

Our political meetings last w .ok supply ye*._ apt illnatratiiins of What I mean. At both there Was ?» nolisiderabio sprinkling of tho fair seX, but they showed to much better advanl.'re at tho Premier's meeting than at Sir George Grey's. The sole reason for this wide differcnuo of demoanour I find in tho fact that at the first-named meeting tltli ladies mado their power felt In tiie legiti mate way, whilo nt the latter thoy (or ono of their number) employed tho direct and objectionable method of interference From my 'vantage ground I oould see that tho ladiesat Major Atkinson's mooting exercised a powerful influence c.__• their male friends. Tho heroic o. _'____, with his war me-lbls glittering on his manly bosom, was fain to interrupt tho speaker more than once ; but ere ho got one-half of his fulmination ut tered, tho little woman by his side pulled him into his seat with a Vigorous jbrk at his coat-tails. Tho confident and smiling Syd noy Taiwhahga tried to " bamboozle" the Major with somo questions on native affairs, and, succeeding only in bamboozling him self, was promptly brought to a sense of his position by the partner of his joys and sor rows (particularly the latter) dragging him down bodily. So I observed it in other cases. A bald-headed gentleman at one stage got very excited, and, leaping to his feet, intcrjectod the question, " What about the■ Grammar School?" but his daughter was by his side, and, With a gentle tug and a whisper, "Don't be foolish," she managed to subdue his belligerent spirit. There is no need to multiply examples. Every mar ried man knows what is woman's true sphere, nnd knows further that in it she is omnipotent; and everybody should know that when she steps out of that sphere she becomes as ordinary mortals. Witness the disorderly interruptions made by a lady at Sir Georgo Grey's meeting, and try to imagine an audience of ladies who in like manner thought themselves competent to criticise political utterances. It would be destructive of all chivalrous feeling, and all veneration for what is fragile and beautiful and good, if -we had to *' chuck out " a few such disturbing spirits, and that is assuredly what it would come to if females had votes.

I find that some Amoricans object to female suffrage, on the ground that^women aro indifferent to political distinctions and incline to voto for a " good man," no matter to which side ho may belong. Thero is something in this objection, but tho phrase " good man " requires some qualification. Judging by past experience, tho man chosen by females' votes would not' bo one famed for moral excellence, or for the pos session of any of the severer virtues of pub lic and private life. It is well-known that the veriest scoundrels upon earth, when ostracised by malo humanity, find? apolo gists and admirers among tho ladies. In many cases the very enormity of a man's offences givo him a sort of lustre in the eyes of the weaker sex. Thus Lord Byron, though accused of atrocious breaches of tho moral law, was tlio pot of femalo society ; and in the present day tho same thing is soon in tho caso of the notorious Colonel Baker. There is pre.cntly an figitetion on foot in England to have this disgraced officer reinstated iv his position in the British army, and it is significant that, though his offonco was a flagrant one against that most precious of " women's rights"—tho right to honourable protection at the hands of men —still tho London" Standard " got ninety letters from ladies pleading for his reinstate ment, whilo only .one woman raised her voice against it. How sad is tho contrast between' this treatment and the harsh judgment which women pass upon offenders of their own sex. As a writer in a Mel bourne paper says: "Colonel Baker may be reinstated, but certainly not Mary Magdalene. Mary is turned into the streets, .and the Colonel is clothed in gold lace and taken back to the bosom of his club." To placo political power in the hands of women, so long aB women are ruled by such ideas, would bo disastrous to any nation, and oven our robust Anglo Saxon freedom would be in danger of fall ing beforo such an innovation

X Enough of serious'sermonising. Turn we, centle reader, to a lighter theme, but still one in which the irrepressible opposite sex plays an important part. Two weeks Lo I took occasion to say a few words against tho spread of flunkeyism in the colony, and instanced the case of an Auckland equipage with livened coach man and " buttons" all complete which had lately burst upon my astonisheclgaze. I had no idea when I wrote that I was re buking fominine vanity and love of hum bug, but subsequent events prove such to have been the case, and that the rebuke has been accepted with a very bad grace A letter in a fair female hand has been handed to me, which launches out in the following virulent manner:— •• ZAMii__,.-whoevor you are, JOU are an old envious boast, 1 daresay you arejealous max .- v ■ old 10-Jc of a.squintifobus of a wife can t your spito chooses (!) to call biatherhead! don't think but you are known,

and somo, day a lady ma!r a.l'Aw you to get tfp on tho box beside buttons If she meets you In . tho suburbs of Auckland; if you aro sober, though I hear you are moro often muddled thtaii sober—old beast!" This is really elegant language for a " lady of_ ample fortune" to use ; but jt ia Only a mild sstaplo of tin contents cf this curious effusion. The writer purports to bo the owner of the " turn-out" which is supposed to have aroused my envy, though as tho unkindly one withholds her name, I am quite unable to identify her. My "lady" correspondent givos mo an interesting budget of information concerning myself and Mrs Zaraiel. My most intimato acquaint ances have hitherto boon unaware of the facts (?) that I am bnlu-headcd, and that 1 am oftener muddled than sober ; Whilo the friends of Mrs '/.. Will be interested to barn for tho first time that she is tho solo writer. of " Random Shots," that she starves hor femalo domostics, and that "sho is never received into the best society here." The latter statement is tho only one which is literally true—that is, if th. "best socioty" is made up bf "ladies of ample .fortune " liko my correspondent, Soberly, lam loth to bolieVo this. spurriluUs and abusive letter genuine, but it is unmistakably the produc tion of a femalo—of what stamp can only bo inferred from the internal evidence of the Billingsgate effusion. If tilts hideous torront of abuse is to be takon as represent ing tho moral und mental calibro of colonial ladies " who can affprd.to keep a buttons," thero is softie justification for the curront libel ,th«_t all our great magnates are tho offspring of a degraded convict class who can no more alter their instincts than tlio leopard can change his spots. I. ctihn'ot imagine tho possibility of miy true woman inditing such an epistle, even in tho heat of a strong resentment, and therefore am forced to the belief that tho writer is a caricature of tho sex which sho disgraces, and unworthy of the name of woman, much less of tho moro exalted title of "lady," so muoh abused in those days.

Like many others of tlld fl.o and in dependent, r-5 I have already indicated in a pl'Moding parhcrraph, I visited the Theatre l.oyal on Monday and Thursday nights of last woek, and gavo audtentjo hot', te tlio Promior ahd his ....".f political adversary, no\V 'cO-l'cjq'l.ir.-ly known as the GQ ",, hotting patiently all thai the former had to say by way of accounting for that un fortunate doflolt, and taking In qtilotly all the lattor's fi.ml.ia_- attttellieiita concerning the working'illilll ftnd the 11 nearnod incromen t. Bilt let mo hasten to confess that I was far moro entertained by what may bo termed tho by-plny of tlio situation than all tho gush, platit-tidos, nnd stale oratory of the spoaker.. Tho interjectc-l remarks which Major Atkinson had lo dodge, pafry, and fence throughout his Speech, though'somo times Stupid and innnci word most 11. uuently both apropos alld niliusing, while Sir Gedrgb Grey had to contend with the well-oiled tongue of a rat hor mellow femide, whose loquacity innreftse'd rapidly under tlio I stimulus of oli-cries, such as " Dry up, old girl," "Sit upon her," "Chuck her out," etc., etc Sho was tho moans of providing diversion for the oiltit _ dress Circlo, (md also tho occasion of dii. di_t__sS _oV il stylish ___t__B¥ W_it_ had the misfortune to sit besido h_\ This youth was got up quite regard less of 0-cpense, and an abundance of light hair carefully titivated up at the sides ft'nd back,combined withngol__-l.lilme-_oyo-gl_.s3 and very fatteifill Walking stick, imparted to him Somewhat of 4 'ilistingvc. air. Tho nudicnefc w'cro so closely packed together tlmt after ono was seated further movement became ontiroly out of the question, so that this oxquisite had to patiently undergo whatever torture was in store for him, He was busily engaged in ogling a pretty bin notto who sat near him when the elderly femalo at his side began to assort all active part in the proceedings.

| Tho masllot- g-i'vt; One Amused stare at her and th_n broko into a quiet snigger; from which, however, ho was imiti'cdl_t_j startled by a loud voice nt his back exclaiming in peremptory tones, " Burly, take your mother home !' Ho affected to pay no attention to the interruption, but tho nublic regard was so obviously attracted to him by tho repetition of tho injunction te tako his ma ternal parent holm? that he felt constrained to turn round nnd glare upoil tho peoplo at his back. Tho Voice seemed to cohlo from the row of face, which sm.ioun._d tlio ante room partition, but ovory visage seemed ..olid, and met his g:y.i unflinchingly. From that time forward Curly had a very bad timo of it. Tho interrupting voico whioh insisted npon his relationship to tlio bibulous fcma'es sang out tho various changes of ontreaty, appeal, porsunsion, vexation, nnnoynnco. indignation, disgust, and command upon Its call for Curly to tako his mother homo, and ns the fun proceeded othor persons kept "dropping to it," until tho demand bocamo almost gonoral. The unfortunate mashor tried ineffectually to sidlo away from his unknown but unabashed companion, then he was observed in tho midst of vigorous protestations to the peoplo in his vicinity, and finally he made a desperate but unsuccessful offort to leavo tho placo. It was all of no avail. Tho old lady was exceedingly lively, tho people wore eager for amusement, nnd the masher had perforce to enduro tho misery and shnmo that wore heaped upon him. As soon as the speech was ended, and the audionco began to get elbow room, ho struck a bee line for tho door and disappeared like a hunted haro. Tho odds are 1000 to 1 that not ovon the blandishments of a pair of pretty eyes would be potent enough to al lure him to another political mooting.

Tho Society for tho Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, howovor oxcellent in doeign and aim, dees not appear to give satisfac tion to overybody, as was evidenced at the Police Court on Tuesday last by several of tho witnesses, who considered themselves respectable cabmen. The caso upon which the Bench had to adjudicate was much com plicated by the conflicting evidenco of parties, and for a time was an oppressive tax upon judicial ingenuity. The caso, moreover, required what might bo termod Christian patienco, nnd whioh was oxom- Blified on this occasion by the Bench. Tho ourt was crowded, not only by tho usual batch of spectators, but by about forty lively members of tho cab fraternity.

The bruised figure-head of Mr Jones, veterinary surgeon, wasatrong evidence in favour of tho prosecution, aided by tho forcible eloquence of Mr Brassoy; but not ono of the nine witnesses saw " Captain Cook " strike a blow, while three swore dis tinctly that1 the wound was caused by the sudden jork of the "hanimal's" head, who felt uncomfortable under the hands of Mr Jones. Some very rough language was used, it was true, but the blow—if blow was given—was unobserved. The Bench therefore could come tone othor conclusion than to dismiss the caso. The Auckland cabmen would soem to be a united body according to dis closures in course of the evidence, and pot terms are given to each in harmony with personal peculiarites or physical abilities ; hence, Aba Bowdon is designated "Skipper" owing to his dancing proclivities and power of command. Abe is tho "cock of tho walk;" Cook is termed "Cap tain," boing a first-class hand at cook ing potatoes (in coats), and resembling in feature (so cabbies say) the celebrated cir cumnavigator whose namo is intimately connected with these islands. Mclndoo is known as the "Rounder," for his skill in rounding a corner without being observed by the Inspector. John Farley is the '' Post Captain," an appellation derived from tho old axiom, "Deaf as a Post," John having made up bis mind long ago,to hear nothing to his disadvantage. The remaining wit ness, Bernard, enjoys tho reputation of the "Coiling Sago" (without onions) for his coyirig shrewdness and paternal influence over Nat and two or three others, who bow to his decisions in matters social and political. At tho close of this "excitingcase," quoting from Mr Madden, the burden which was borne without a " neigh from tho skipper's hammed," thoro was a shout of applause, and Captain Cook, who was smothered with kindnesses and nearly injured by squeezes of the hand, was carried away in triumph on the top of tho skipper's cab.

Tbo bootmakers' strike has como to an end, and tho Union has recomm6nded mem bers to again accept work frem the offend ing employers, while the lumpers' strike has also been settled—l feel inclined to say pro tern. There arc both good and bad points in these Unions. While protecting members—and this is avowedly their primary aim—they have certain rules pro tecting employers, by' which they will expel a man who has been guilty of a mis demeanour in the workshop from their society. I was talking to some Union men the other day, and propounded the question, " Why should you band yourselves together to oppose your employers?" The reply was briefly given, and to the point. Said the spokesman : " Ourmasters have Unions, and why should not we? The master builders have an association to protect themselves, arid why should not their em ployees be similarly privileged ? Ship masters and shipowners are banded together and support each other, and why should not sailors and lumpers also have a Union ? The man lias interests to protect as well as the master, and I say they have equal rights'to band together to protect these interests, ,T

The lundpors' strike has caused consider able discussion during the week, andeofflo now and extraordinary allegations have beeit made, The following incident wa_ related to me by a totally disinterested party, and A stc..dot. who listened to tho narration admitted that it was often unfortunately but too truly what, actually happens. The subject we woro discussing was the lumpers' strike, and tho statement was as follows t — The milk of the cocoa-nut (a favourite ex pression of some peoplo) is this. When a ship arrives in port tho stevedores go on board and ask for employment. Tho skipper says, " Well,you'll have to work my clow,and the stevedore must agree to do so or 10.0 the sliiPj for soiliobocly o.Se will accept the terms if he does not, Well, what does that man . Why it means that tho stevedore lias to pay the captain of tho vessel wages for every sailor he eliiploys. It means furthcl1 that, oh the Saturday night, Jack, who gots nothing extra for working cargo,from the skipper, collie., round to tlio stevedore dm', ef.pe'c.s to get five or six shillings for himself. The stevedore must givo it to tho men, for if ho did flot ho would get very littlo work from tllem, for whilo he pays tlio Captain for thoir services ho litis niit tlie slightest control oyer them." Some people say that skippers make Ii heap hi pocket money out of this sort of thing, but it is only fair to ro oortl that tho accused indignantly deny the statement, and say it is stipulated in the ship's articles that tho crow shall assist in discharging cargo when in port, and that all profits of this value go to tlio bonclit of thoir owners, However, tlio strikes aro ovor for the present, and so is my story. All's well that ends well.

The borrower of tho small friendly loan from n Queeh-streel, boft-goodsman of whom moiltiun was made in.tbeso columns tho other wcok sends mo a letter detailing his version of .tho niVtiir. This differs from that given by l'no only with respect to the til-no nnd manner ol payment, and the fact that lie nlloi.'cs that the receipt stamp wns supplied by himself. Ho does not deny that the j.i.udßr t-ri .tod eritll'oly to ids honour; , without even asking for an flQ kuowlcdgmout of tlio debt, and that wl;--;, )l0 returned tlio monoy liO demanded a receipt implying, dis trust of the lender's honesty. Ho ovon jiistilies thi.. conduct by saying, "It was noeil.ul to have n receipt from a firm which applies for payment of accounts six .months after thoy aro so.tlod." This gontle man's sonso of honour requires educa tion. Trust must be reciprocal, aud if tho louder, in giving his money, was quite willing to run tho chanco of his debtor turning out n scouhdrel and repudiating/ tlio toast tlio borrower could have done was to return tho compliment, The receipt, unless carefully worded, might be used by nn unscrupulous person for tho purpose of making it appear that tlio draper had been under tho obligation, and not the individual who, having asked and obtainod a favour, returned it, figura tively, with a smaol- in tho eyo for intorost.

THE GARDEN.

Calendar of Operations, May 31.

(rlrtn.tm h willing ib ;thi..>-el' itViy queried.. Cor respondents must givo their full names and .ddrcsseß, though not for publication.]

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

TnANSI'I.ANTINd 1.A1.-11. |I|..!|PUOUH TIIKES, - (Tree).—Tho ho.ll lino fur removing ahtl'ge tree is now, when the leuf is dining oil' the I roes. The sup i_ now di's. ending, nniln portion of such s.ip will go t.i make fh'sh routs i.tOili'o. Inlift lug, open il trt'iieh nil riilintl lhe stem, about I feet from the bole; then wish afork remove all loose soil, saving as many rootlets as possible. When tlio ball is reduced til nsii . tliat can be casil." rti'tlvcu, '.udfrmiiio the ball of earth anil remove the tree nt oiieo to its tlcw position. , Whon planting, soo that the routs protruding,, li-qpi the hull arc pro perly lipreili. oi'.t m layers. Afterwards secure ilia head so as to prevent tlio wind from working it backwards and forwards Mil the roots get llrmly established again. With cure and appliances nearly all trees oan be safely moved.

Fi.owkiw MR HIIAVEs (Pl.rchD.-It is almost Useless ll' eflw uniitm's upon a gl'nroat-Mils timo uf the year. In preference, plant daisies, pansiest violots, primroses, polyanthus, &c. Uravos when planted should bu kept very neat nnd tidy. Nothing cs.li He worse than to display a sliowv love, which, In a few months, lapses into a coll neglect.

W'intkhi.no IJaui.i is (Duhlitt).—lt is unwise te leave dahlias in the border all winter. Tho best plan to adopt is lo cut the stoma to within six Inches of lhe ground. When tho haulm is preporly ripened, lift, tho roots at once, shake out all l lie soil po.siblo, ami place Ilium whuro they will dry gently. When dry pack them in boxes in dry colli, wood-ash, or dry sand. Only cover tho tubers with the abovo. Placo tho boxes in mi outhouse or HUiblo. Tho luolatiiro attracted by the dry ninlerluls in which the roots arc [illumed will sulllco lo keep them fresh anil plump till tho spring, when they should be brought Into the light and tho plants induced to start into growth, when they may bo divided as required. CuocL'siis anu Ti'Lii's (Bulbs).—When these are potted for early flowering in the house they will require very littlo water at the first until the pots aroillled with roots; then wator freely, but not daily—only when the soil is Betting dry give enough to woll soak the whole to the bottom of the pot.

Kitchen Garden.

Tim winter is proporly sot in now ; wo may expect plenty of wot with an occasional break of a few line days. When such occur, overy advantage must bo takon so as'to forward any of tho usual autumn work which has been dolayed from want of timo. Take ovory opportunity to dig and manure vacant pieces of ground, leaving it in as rough a state ns possible. Tomatoes : Pick ofl'and treat as described last week. Pump kins: Pie melons and marrows should all now bo placed in the loft or in a shed to keop for uso during tho winter. Plant out a few moro cabbages and cauliflowers. Earth up those that aro growing, also attend to the hoeing, wooding, and stirring tho soil about tho late crops of vegetables, such as lettuce, spinage, onions, turnips, _tc. Thin' out thoso that require it. The sweet potatoes should be harvested and stored past, as already described. Tie up a few more lettuces for blanching, also priok out another bed from the s odlings. Spinago : Thin outas it is required for use. All debris and rubbish should be cleared away to tho rot heap. Givo everything ns neat and trim an appearance as possible at this sea son of tho year. Flower Garden. The beds and borders will now be begin ning te assumo a very winter-looking an, pearanco. Every endeavour should be made to keep the wholo pleasure ground in as no.it a condition as possible. All dead leaves should be collected about onoe a week and taken away to tho rot heap. Plants in the mixed border which do not come up to the expectation formed of them should be re moved, crossing and planting others which will suit better. Herbaceous plants can now be lifted, re-divided, and re-, arranged, putting all tall-growing plants to the back of the border. Small evergreen shrubs oan now bo bought from tho nurseries and transplanted. Camellias, azalias, rhododendrons, i.e., can bo moved with porfecfc safety. Qn old camellia plants with a super-abundant display of buds, thin out a large number of aueli buds. This will have the effect of in creasing the sine and quality of the flowers left. Make arrangements for having all new shrubs planted at onco, also tho removal of any old ones which you havo decided to change the site of. Shrubs transplanted early succeed better than late planted ones.

T-___.sri.AiSTiNG Ev-____g_._j_ss.— Now is the best time to rouiovo all evergreens, immediately after the ground has cot thoroughly saturated with the heavy rains which we usually receive towards the later portion of overy May.; the ground at this period is not so thoroughly chilled sis it becomes farther on in the winter, and tho littlo heat promotes the immediate forma tion of roots, whereas if removed later in tho winter, when the temperature of both air and earth is reduced by waning sun-heat and chilling rains, all the above advantago 13 lost. If any doubts be entertained as to roots boing formed immediately after planting at this season, an inspec tion say a month afterwards will Boon dis pel them. Another test: Anyone who -has purchased balled evergreen plants from a nursery knows those plants are usually lifted and balled as early in the soason as it is pos sible foi tlio nurserymen to lift them, and tho result if you purchase balled plants in the middle of the winter is that tho cloths' which retain the roots in the ball aro usually penetrated by a number of littlo fibres — clearly showing, when roots' aro cut early in the season, -that they immediately push out a number of feeding fibres, teaching us. that if the tree was liftod and planted the same day, it would establish itself at once in its new situa tion, [and be ready in the spring to supply the plant with nourishment, so as to push a vigorous growth tlio, first season. In lifting and transplanting from one situation to another at this season, each shrub, as soon as it is lifted, should bo immediately re planted, not allowing the roots time to dry, as the drying of the roots will be severely felt by the plant.

"I have," says Mr G. A. Sala, in the " Illustrated London News,'" "seen a good deal of husbands and wives in my time, and, if I have any faculty of observation, it has generally led to the conclusion that the happiest marriages are those in which the bride, when she comes to -th. altar rails, ha-i in the way of tho world's goods precisely- what' she stands^iipriglit _&/ > _faa no more."

GOSSIP FROM STAGE AND STUDIO.

[By Euterpe.]

Lomiiakmlli, the Italian basso, is doad,

Dr. Simms, tho physiognomist, is lectur ing in Christchurch. Fred Dark and his company are in tho Victorian provinces.

The Montague-Turners have returned to Melbourne.

Mr Edmund Marshall is playing " Quilp" (one of his unfortunate brother's best parts) at Ballarat.

ThbGen'evi'eve-Wafti season is in its ninth week, and the " Queen's Favourite " has been pronounced a great success.

Mr Theodore Watts has undertaken the article on " Poetry " for the " Encyclopedia Bfitannicni"

Kudarz, the conjuror, Professor Payne, and tho popular humourist, J. W. Foley, havo joined in partnership, and aro per forming in Christchurch.

Miss Carry Nelson, who opens to-night in tho Opera House, Is a clover burlesque actress and vocalist. In the South, how ever, sho lacked proper support.

At the production of Rubinstein's new opera, " jNevore," the author was presented with a silver wreath, amidst tho deafening applause of tho audience.

Tho Choral SoeieSy givo Spohr's "Last Judgine-it" oii TiiCs'clay iieit Mrs Upton, Miss Maunsoll, and MessrsE. andG. Harkcr being the soloists. Gadc's " Psyche " will bo the noxt work put in rehearsal,

ThO celebrated claimant Castro, alias Orton, alias Tichborne, is said to contem plate playing Falstnff on his release from prison. No ludia-rubbor "mnke-up" will bo necessary.

The uuthois of "The Silver King"— Messrs Jones and Herman—have boen com missioned to write another drama for Mi- Wilson Barrett, to follow " Claudian " at tho Princess Theatre.

It is whispered that tho groat obstaole which dotors tho Choral Socioty from under taking the performance of Gounod's '< Kodomption" is tho royalty of £20. Surely not I

Joachim, tho violinist, is to direct the porformanco of some of the moro important works of Joliann Sebastian Bach at the un veiling of Bach's statuo at Eisenach next month,

Tho Emelio Melville Opera Company have reached thoir eighth week of opera at the Bijou Tlieatro, Melbourne, and still continuo to draw large audiences. "Can non " remains on the bill,

Mr Gpor«_t j__ rrell's Dramatic Company will open their wow /.©aland tour at Auck land, the entrepreneur's own plays forming the reportoiro. Of theso "Tlu Sunny South is the chief.

Mr .V. E. Sheridan hns been unl-icky in the abrupt break-up of tlio travelling com puny with which ho was touring tho States. Thero is, however, n talk of engaging him as one of tho stars for this year's Cincin nati Dramatic Festival.

I4lie many friends of Signor jliccardi will regret to learn that ho has been lnjd up with a sevoro aiid .prb.oi.g__ illness. Ho is liow progressing towards recovery, nnd a per formance is about to bo givon for his benefit, nt ono of tho Sydnoy theatres.

Tho Pollard Juveniles aro now announced as on tho way back to Sydney from Singa pore, bift AS a result of the children's tour in a climate highly dangerous to them, ono of their numbor is reported to have died at I'onnng, and soveral others have beon seriously 511.

The many friends of tlio veteran Shako*, perlan ncter, Mr Win. Hoskins, will bo in terested in learning that on the 10th instant thoro was, as Artcmus Ward puts it, "joy in tho house," ns on that day a son nnd hoir was born te tho illustrious name of Hoskins.

Tho works of Du£_nld Buchanan, the sacred poot of the Highlands, havo been translated into English verse, and will appear in their new dress early in April. Tho translator is Mr L. Machenn, and the publishers aro Messrs MaoLachlan and Stewart, of Edinburgh.

The Marquis of Bute has offered to award a special prize of £100 for tho host transla tion of a Greek play into the Wolsh language, tho competition to tako place at tho forthcoming National Eisteufod iv Liverpool, England. Tho object of the translation is to impart a new feature to Welsh literature.

Tho following bald reference to a local institution appears in the February num bor of "Tho Monthly Musical Record." Tho Committee of tho Auckland Choral Society havo issued their prospectus for 1884: The concerts have beon well attended since tho advent of the new conductor, Herr Carl Schmitt.1'

Now that tho annual dramatio festival is an assured fact, tho Cincinnati peoplo arc taking energetic action towards tho erec tion of a "dramatic templo." It is stated upon-trustworthy authority that at tho ad vance sale.of season tickets a millionaire merchant will bid 100,000 dollars for the first box choico.

Mr Gornld L. Dillon, the comedian, is now at Christchurch, engaged upon tho compilation of a Theatrical Guide to Now Zealand, which ho intends to publish. It will contain an account of overy place of amusement in New Zoaland, and what amount of patronage companies are likely to rooeive in each town. Tho prico of tho book will be ono shilling.

Miss Pbmeroy appeared at the beginning of last month in San Francisco in a piece, "Claire nnd tho Forge-master," an adapta tion, presumably, of Georges Ohnet's "Maitre doo Forge.." Mist. Pomeroy doc not come in for much praise as an actress of tho modern emotional school. Her acting is said to be perfunctory, without depth or breadth, and, as a whole, " both aimless and helpless."

By latest advices tho following was tho state of the chief theatrical successes in Paris for the season. "Ma Camarade " was at its 160 th night; " Silba " the ballet at tho Eden, 116 th night; " Trois Femmes pour un Mari," 76th night; "La Cassaqno," 51st night; "Lo Maitre dcs Forges," 109 th night. The profits' accruing to Georges Ohnot for this latter book and play during ono year aro estimated at £8,000.

The Williamson Comic Opera Company made an immense "hit" with "Mascotte" at Dunedin. In order, however, to keep engagements, it had to be taken off on Thursday week, although in the heyday of its popularity, and replaced with " Tambour Major," which ran for a oouplo of nights. This week "Les Cloches do Cornevillo" and "Olivette" have been played, and after ,two representations of "Patience" tho season of 17 nights ends on Wednesday next. The Company then go to Brisbane.

Tho Dunning Comic Opera Company, which "Pasquin," in tho "Otago Daily Times," pronounces to bo fully equal to the Williamson Troupe, and which,, in point of drosses and stage mounting, ho says aro. not to be surpassed, are now running to capital business in Wellington. They open here with " Les Manteaux Noirs " (" Tho Black Cloaks ").on or, about tho lSth of June, and Mr A, N. Hallifax, tho popular business manager, comes up by the Arawata on tho Oth prox. to make the necessary preliminary arrangements.

Tho latest colonial musical publication is tlio "Hanlan Schottische," composed and dedicated to the champion oarsman by Charles Huenerbein. An introduction of 16 bars is set to words of greeting to the " Champion of the World," which may be sung. The schottische opens with a well defined time of eight bars ; this and tho Second divisions aro in _'. Tlio third division is in C, moro elaborately set, with the rhythm well marked. A fourth division in C leads to tlie coda, It is almost a march, and though a capital schottische for dancing, would serve equally well for quickstep.

"The Silver King" bus run his course, and " Impulse "' is to astonish the Sydney natives at the Theatre Royal. The Polks are playing "Eastward Ho I" a spectacular military comedy-drama, at the Opera Houso; and Mr Wybert Reeve is still running " The Squire " and " Cool as a Cucumber " at the Gaiety. The Kennedy family are singing at the Protestant Hall; and tho Fsderal Minstrels aro still at the Academy of Music. Dr. Walter Rodway is lecturing on " Prison Life" at the new Masonic Hal), and his.lectures are illustaated by a series of new i-onge, the words and music of which were composed dnribg his imprison ment,

SPORTING.

PRINCIPAL RACING FIXTURES.

Now Jioaiah-t. Oanuini Steeplechase Meeting lunfi Is Hawke's Bay .1.0. Steeplechases InnoZli (loraliline 11, C. Steeplechase Meeting ..Juno 2(1 Australia. V.R.C. Stocplcchaso Meeting July 10

To Correspondents.

Nisjio. — BocsVi-ing won 51 out of Gl races; Fisherman started 120 times, and won 70 races. Inquiuei:.—Blair Athol (sire of Epigram and Kt. Albans) died in England on Ith Sep torn - her, 188.!. Parnklt..—lt is estimated that something like ■I ..,.".0 people attend the English Dorby. It is said that in one year nearly 000,000 wero pro sent. Irishman.—Birdcatclior was bred in Imland in 1833, hence his prefix of "Irish" Biracatchcr to distinguish him troni a hOrso of tho same name, by St. Patrick. 11. ; Y, (Nowton).—The fastest Australian records lor six furlongs, one mile, ono mile and a-hulf, two miles, and three miles, are as follow :— Malua's Newmarket Handicap, lniin, lojscc.; Stocl-dale's Vi'a^ga, Cup, lmln. JI .seo.; Sting's Hawkosbt'ry Handicap, 2hiln. SO.sec.; Mar tini-Henry's Melbourne Cup. 3min. 3045e0.; and t first King and Commotion's Champions, Oinin. _K_i.ec.

NOTES BY HIPPONA.

By cable wo have tho result of tho Epsom

Derby, Lord Falmouth's Harvester and Major F. G. Brace's St. Gatien running a dead heat for first honours, with Sir J. Wil loughby's Queen Adelaide (better known as lhe Hermit—Adelaide filly) third. This is

the second timo a dead heat lias been run for

the race since its institution, the first one being" in 1828, wheti tho judge could not sopai-ito Cadlaud and Tlio Colonol, In the run-off tho former proved victorious. Lord

Falmouth'.'. Colt Harvester was got by

Sterling out of Whcatear. His sire was a grand race-horse, and was selected as tho English champion when a match was con templated against Harry BaSsdtt, while Whcatear ran third foi" phe St. Leger, won by Hawthornden in IHiO, wi_,_ nor stablo companion Kingcraft second. St. Gatien is a bay colt, and was got by Rothorlilll or Rover out of St. Editha, and Queen Adelaido, who ran third, was got by llormit out of Adelaide (dam of Peregrine) by Young Melbourne She was bt'ed by Mr Chaplin, end sold at tho Blankney sale of ye.rlings to her present owner, Sir John .Villoughby, ter 3,000 guineas. For the past several days, there has been some tnik of tho Auckland Rnciiig Club holding a Ste6pl_cl!ii_e Meeting; but noth ing definite has befell dCno so far. If the meeting is held, I understand it will take placo oil hor nn the 9th or 12th of July. I think it may bo safely said that the Tak.ipunii .r-.i__-i.ey Club Birthday Meeting was tlio iiiu.it .Aec'essful gathering yot held across the Water, find thanks to the hard working officials, the long pfograhilflo was got through in good time. For tho Cup, Irishwoman (7st __._____.'']. st.Hrted first favourite, but; she never showed prominently, and .ifter a good race, Normanby, with the good impost, of fist 101b. succeeded in beating Dressmaker (fet IMb?, tHlderoy (list 71b) being third. The form shown by old Atlglor in tho Handicap and Selling Steeplechases shows what can bo done with a horse by care and proper treatment, for when he was picked up by his present owners he was not only low in condition, but his feet were very bud. It will be remembered tlmt Angler wasnt one timo owned by Messrs Lyons and Blaikie, who bought him for __00, aud wero glad enough to dispose of him to a Whang..rci sportsman for somothing like £50, ho never having recouped thcnl one single penny for their outlay. Seclne that it is tho last meeting of the Qui. this! e.,._0.;, it may not bo inopportune to bring under their notice the desirability of leaving no stono unturned during the winter to make arrangements for the lease or purchase of a portion of the fore shore. In its present state tho course is positivelydarigerous to both horse and rider, and the Club can never expect to have first oluss animals competing at their meetings until it is extended.

As was g.-tlei'ally anticipated, the N.Z. Grand National Steeplechase resulted in a miserable contest, for out of the four that started, viz., Tho Agent, Brirbary, Hercules, and Rlack Doctor, only tho two first named succeeded in getting over the course. The Agent taking every obstacle without a mistake, had no difficulty in land ing the stake, so that for the third time his name is inscribed on the scroll of Grand National winners. His previous victories wero gained IS7H and ISSO. The Agent has indeed been a good friend to Mr P. Butler, and I little thought wheil looking at his lojr nearly eighteen months ago that it weuld' again Lb my lot to chronicle his success in a jumping race. Later on in the afternoon Canard made his reappearance after a long spell in the Tally-Ho Handicap, and showed us by his cosy win that he ha. not lost his old form. At Wn-gaum, C.arenco, tho veteran son of Rnvonsworth, was doing good scrvico for Mr Pilbrow, and in the big event succeeded in getting homo first with the crushing impost of 135.. If I am not mistaken, this is the biggest weight yet borne to victory in the colony. The Takapuna Jockey Cub aro to bo commended for taking notico of Dress maker's running on Saturday, and it shows that they aro willing to do thoir utmost to froo (ho turf from its impurities. Such wonderful nnd lightoning-like change of form ns Dressmaker's I don'tthink has been witnessed on an Auckland course before, nnd Mr Lennard may congratulate himself on being so leniently dealt with; There aro not a few who think that he should have been cautioned as well as the boy Unstable, but the dooision arrived at by the stewards will doubtless have a salutary effect, nnd act as a warning to all those who are inclined to have their horses "out for an airing."

The time has once more come round for Mr J. K. Poole to depart for his usual winter sojourn in Sydnoy, and ho will be among the passengers by the mail steamer City of Sydney, which loaves to-morrow or Monday." There is always a blank in local sporting circles without " Jimmy " (as he is familiarly termed), but he hopes to bo again amongst us about Auckland Cup time, ready as ever to bo "taken down." Mr D. O'Brien's mare Rubina showed at the D. J.C. Winter Meeting that she is no duffer, for sho appropriated tho Birthday Handicap of 120sovs. and St. Kilda Handi cap of^ 50sovs., aarryinj* -very fair imposts, and in each was opposed by sovoral good performers. Rubina was ono of a batch of five yearlings purchased by Mr Allan McLean in Sydney, and was got by Kings borough out of Etiquette, by Caractacus. Not the least interesting feature of tho meeting, perhaps, was Mata's win in the Selling Race, but such a good old slave as ho should have beon pensioned off long ago. Tho good sum of £2,0-_S went through tho tetalisator at tho Takapuna Birthday Mooting, and Mr Adams is entitled to a word of praise for the efficient way in which the machines were worked. The usual crush and inconvenience on such occasions was conspicuous by its absence, nnd this says a great deal when it is mentioned that seven races were got through in slightly loss than four hour-. -

Mr 1). McKinnon informs mo that he has severed his connection with racing, and has leased Gildcroy to Mr Wilmott for a term. Thero will, I am sure, bo some regret at "Mac's" retirement, for although ho could never boast of owning a " crack," ho was 6no of thoso'who' raced for its own doar sako apart from any monetary considera tions.' Mr MeKi-it-on also tells mo that ho has had to destroy Stralhearn, he having badly ricked bis back. The weights for the Hawke's Bay Steeple chase, run on the 26th of Juno, were issued with Mr Evett's usual punctuality on Tues day. It is yet too soon to talk about the winner, but I may mention that out of the eighteen engaged, nothing finds more favour in my eyes at the present time than Canard and Tho Agent. Sham, who was bought in by Mr I_. VV. Ali«on after the Flat Selling Race at the Takapuna Meeting, has again passed into Colonel Eraser's hands. It seems that he was knocked down unawares to the gentlo man who was acting on behalf of tho Colorel, and Mr Alison boing made aware of the fact, at once let his former owner have him again. Such sportsmanlike con • duct as this is worthy of mention. Nominations for the next Melbourne Cup, Champion Stakes} V.R.C. Derby 1885, Maribyrriong Plate, Ascot Vale Stakes, Oaks Stakes, St. Leger, and Sires-Produce Stakes close in Australia on Monday next, before 4 p.m. With tho exception of the Melbourne Cup. and Champion, all of the above-named events are for now yearlings, and New Zealand owners can nominate with Mr C. J. Penfold, secretary of the Canterbury Jockey Club, before 12 noon. Nominations for the Caultield Cup, Great Metropolitan Stakes, and Hawkesbury Handicap are also slue on Monday" J. Wattie, the well-known jockey, was quite the hero of the hour on Saturday last, and accomplished a feat that is not often recorded. During the afternoon he had five mounts, and out of that number rode to victory Angler in the Handicap Steeple chase and Selling Steeplechase, Normanby in the Birthday Cup, and Nigger in the Selling Hurdle Race. Wat-tie had ridden in jumping races before, but until Saturday Ihe had never been Successful in getting home in front,

Southern papers announce that Messrs MaSon and Vallance have dissolved partner' ship, and owing to tho scarcity of buyerrt have . divided the stock and property be tween tliefil/ Mr Mason has taken o_rtho Yaldhurst training establishment, etc., and Mr Vallnnoe the horses, consisting of Bun doora. Turquoise, Salvage', Youth, Kingask, tho two-year-old colt by Albany—Awatea, and the yearling colt by Totafa—-Lady Florence. The horses are left in charge of Mason, but he has no interest in them bo yond that, and intends starting business as n public trainer, while Mr Vallance will ply the double calling of horse-owner and book maker.

i So littlo was' Malua's chance ftf winning 1 the Add"'lo Cup in the heavy ground es timated, even by the followers of the clever stable in whioh the " waiter " has been pro pared, thftt when the wet weather set in at Morphettville they hastened to get out of the money; wliifch had been k'ot on at eights and ten"? to one at any price. In some in stances backers of the double (Ironmaster and Malua) were able to lay off, but in the majority of Cases straight-Out supporters of the slippfery son Of St Albans were compelled, very much against thoir will, to stick to tho whole of their wagers. Wires wefojjeon tinually being received at the Melbourna rooms from the "stable :"—" Don't think we can win in the mud."' "Hedge as much of your money as possible. Horse out of it;" &c. &c. On the Tuesday and Wednesday it is said there must have beon thousands of hedging money going begging in tho market. Malua's starting price was 14 to 1, but thero would havo been no difficulty in obtaining 100's to 5. Mr Inglis, Malua's owner, won £:.iOOO, and Fouls-iam, the trainer, £1,000, while several outside backers profited to a fair amount by following the advice of the Brighton trainer at v time when, counting upon fine weather, ho looked upon tho raco as a good thing. The starting question eeems to be agitat ing all of tlie N.Z. Clubs, and Mr P. Camp bell; who lately returned from England, was recently interviewed on tho matter by "Senex." Mr Campbell/ !* may be men tioned, is an old Cbristchui-ch rcsidont nnd a sudeesi-ful stutter himself, and this is what he says of Mr McGebrge, who is claimed to be tne .best wielder of the llttg the world has ever seen :-"nC js always at_ the post some minutes before the timfi appointed for slatting, and lie expects all the horses to be there too, and these afd quietly walked about the course behind the post. Mr Mc- George looks fit his watch, and when the time arrives lie ii-Ske.. a signal for the horses to get into line, genef-tlly a hundred yards or so behind the flag, and so they walk toward him, and whenever the opportunity may offer down goes the flag, no matter how far. they aid behind the post. This is the main secret of effecting these good starts, but he' has other assistance,' Mc- George's nephew is behind the horses with a hunting whip, and by judiciously flicking it iv the fear of any animal that does not like to face the fieldi keeps them fairly up in line. It is not at fill aft ilnustial thing for him to start his horses forty yafda be hind the post. Gti Ono occasion at Kemp ton Park, when he started hie field some eighty yards of. mote from tho post, there was somo dissatisfaction expressed, arid the matter was reported to the stfiWaftfe of the ' Jockey. Club, on tho ground that the start was actually a flying ono nt the starting post. But the stewards decided that he had availed himself of the best oppci. unity, and that when the flag fell, which con stituted the start.the horses were in awalk."

CONDENSED ITEMS.

Claptrap won the S.A.J.C. Handicap. Weights for the New Zealand Cup are due on Monday next. The big wager of £5,030 to £100 has been laid against Ironmaster for the next Mel bourne Cupi Messrs Robinson and Lance havo dis posed of tho bad-tempered Master Agnes for liO guineas. Voluptuary, the winner of the Grand National Steeplechase, was bred by the Queen at Hampton Cotirt. During the last twenty years tho Vicl torian Racing Club have paid in added money no less d siiiri than £181,535. ' Johnny Faulkner and Trenton have been backed to Win the N.Z". Cup-and Derby to the extent of £1,500, nt 100's to 2. At the late annual meeting of the Canter bury Jockey Club Mr P." Campbell was ap pointed starter for the ensuing season. F. Archer rode four winners at Northamp ton, and in the other three races which comprised the card was on the back of tho third.

" Bell's Life " comes out now t-.vice a week, On Wednesday and Saturday, and it has been reduced from Od to Id a copy. Ah Adelaide writer _uj_ m_.i_._l --_.<_ fairly established his right to be considered one of the very best horse* Attetralia has ever Tlio Hon. G. McLean has purchased th 6 yearling filly by Albany—No Name (half sister to Nonsense and Oudeis) from Mr M. H. Smith. Mr F. D. Luckie, secretary of the Hawke's Bay Jockey Club, paid us a visit this week. He was shown over Sylvia Park on Wednesday; The Victorian jumping horse, The Agent, has rathor a history, lour months ago ha was running in a buggy, since when he has won 13 races out of i 8 starts. Nearly £15,000 passed through the total iaator throughout Adelaide Cup day, of which £5,949 was invested on tho Cup ,the dividend on Malua, the winner, being £17 CO 14s, The yearling colts from Maria Theresa, Strenua, and Charm, passed in at the last Christchurch Middle Park sale, have been placed in Ted Cult's hands to receive their early education. Hurricane's accident ptevonted him start ing for the Adelaide Cup; He was so lame after winning the St. Leger that Coffey ad vised his owner to scratch him, and accord ingly the colt was struck out: Fred Archer thinks the best horse he ever rode is the Duke of Portland's St. Simon, the unbeaten two-year-old of last season, and next to him Lord Falmouth's crack filly Wheel of Fortune. Fishwoman and Kalo, who have been running in the interests of Mr Robertson for some time past, have been returned to thoir respective owners. The term of lease expired on Saturday last. The lease of Siesta and Nonsense for the past raoing season having expired, these two mares have returned to Air Horsford's stable. Their o-mer has not yet decided whether to race them again or relegate them to the paddock. George Williams, the Australian light weight, was not long in getting in harness again. At tho Canterbury Park Races (Sydney) on the 17 th of the present month, ho rode Rainbow in the Cumberland Plate, but failed to get a place. Mr C. Redwood, of Marlborough, has a handsome two-year-old chestnut filly, by Antoros out of Harebell, coming on. She is a half-sister to Diosma and Sir Tatton, and is entered for the Wanganui Derby and the Taranaki Derby, run next season. Although Malua won the Adelaide Cup pretty easily at tho finish, the general opinion of those who were present, is to the effect that nothing could have caught Con jecture if Cracknell had been on her back. The boy who rode her weighs only four stone ten, and tired unmistakably at the finish. At Sir Thomas Elder's sale of blood stock, 10 horses brought iS, 133. Guesswork was .-old lo Mr Matthew Bryant, of Victoria, for CI, 100, and Conjecture to tho same buyer for CI,OOO ; King of the Gipsies to Mr J. O. lnglis for -CS2S; Bassanio to Mr Weckes for ±350, and Baron Yon Mueller to Mr Locke for £225. A report was current lately that Bob Kay was about to sever his connection with Messrs l.ance and Robinson's stable (writes "Senex"), but whatever truth there may havo been in the rumour at the time, there npnears no doubt now that Bob will be foiind at tho head of affairs again next year for his old employers. Sir Thomas Elder's luck wasnot altogether out at the S.A.J.C. Meeting, although lus horses did have the misfortune to run second in the Cup and Goodwood Handi cap. On the second day, his two-year-old colt. King of the Gipsies, by Gang Forward —Black Gipsy, won the Sires' Produce Stakes, and Bassanio the All-Aged Stakes. The sale of Mr J. Field's yearlings at Tas mania resulted very unsuccessfully, wretched prices being obtained. Twelve youngsters realised only 591 guineas, an average of less than 50 guineas each, whilst the hiphost offer for any one was 100 guineas. The lot wero all by Manuka, i-illah's filly fetched 80 guineas, and Pussy's 33 guineas. During the past twelve months a clique of Melbourne sporting gentlemen aro re ported to have won forty thousand pounds from the Victorian ring; the double-event victory of Martini-Henry in the spring, and the wins of Morpeth and Malua in the autumn, being two of the biggest items in that total- The metallioians have been heavily hit of lato. Mr John .Vhittingham did not profit to any great extent by the victory of.lron master in the Goodwood Handicap, his win nings it is credibly stated being less than £700. -It is reported that Mr, J. 0, Jnglis, owner of Malua, was the biggest winner on the,.chestnut, and a well-known "bush" hotelkeeper, who backs his fancy with great pluck, got ov-to a pretty fair amount before anybody else in Melbourne.

FIELD SPORTS AND AQUATICS.

(BY ACTION.)

THERE appears to bo no prospect of an other twenty-feet open boat sailing race this seasofl.

The newly-formed. West End Rowing Club merits to-night, at Ponsonby, for the purpose of electing officers, &c.

Tbe Waitemata Boating Club received tho £15 (disputed) won at tho Ponsonby Kegatta on Friday lest. Better late than never.

Anothit dingy race between Masters Sullivan and Bailey was to hare taken place this afternoon over a course much shorter than that rowed over previously.

Logan,. of ftctftli Shoro, has in. course of construction a new yacht for Fiji. She is to bo built on the diagonal principle, nnd her dimensions are *_ follows > Length, 30ft 8 inches ; beam 6f_.) depth itt,

A cotiple of Auckland teams made their appearance in the Thames football fields on Queen's Birthday. The Hebson fifteen jdined in contest with a. team Selected from the Shortland olub, and carried the honours of tho day, scoring two tries to one. placed to the Credit of their opponents. The True Blues met a team known as the Moon lighters—so called from their predilection for evening practices,—and inflicted upon them an ignominious defeat by 15 points to nil.

The first competition between the Thames and To Aroha Football Clubs for the possession of Mr Ehrenfried's silver cup took place in the Parawai Gardens last Saturday aftornoon, and resulted in a draw. The match was played in two forty-minute bouts, but neither side was ablo to score. The Aroha fifteen were all heavy men, so miTOh so that before play was commenced the result was anticipated as a foregone co lclusion in their favour. The terms uptn whioh the ownership of the Cup is to be decided have been left by the dehor for arrailgeffle-it between the two clubs.

NOTES FOR THE LADIES.

[Specially Selec-ted by our London

Corresponded.]

The redirigff-6 is cfeefdely suitable for tall girls of 15 or 1(5, and. Is _»' Very convenient vfltement.

Velvet is still in great requisition for children's dressy toilettes, both for day and eVef-iofk wear ; in such cases velvet forms a large part _ the dress, and is not merely used as bands, whioh 6ften trim plain walk ing dresses.

The woollen materials most in favour fit rosent are broch£ woollens, and those with chequors and spots in velvet; these are the best and most stylish of any for demi-saison costumes, .»•

Mantles for ordinary wear, and to servo as waterproofs, ate made of fanoy cloth, and frequently have the large pferlerine forming tho sleeves and joining the back made in much the same manner as similar mantles for ladies.

The hair with evening toilettes is Worn quite at the top of the head, and with foather aigrettes at the side. The Suede gloves ere often trimmed with lace; the favourite shade is now the mushroom, the dark shade called " _"6_iit" having quite dis appeared.

White or coloured English crape is tile newest triming for evening dresses of silk or uncut valvet. It is gauged, puffed, and pleated, but is never laid its folds, as they are too suggestive of mourning trimmings.

A Russian Princess wore last year at a ball at Nice a dress made entirely of pea cock's feathers, looped up with tho birds' crested heads, in which the eyes were gar nets.

Plain cloth jackets, and also those of tweed, are worn with morning walking cos tumes, while mantles and dolmans are made of the same,- trimmed With chenille, with rows of braid above.

Rich warm i__ will be worn even in the summer weather, and amongst other dark colours, copper, bronze, a lovely shade of grey which has a great deal of blue in it, and dead leaf greens. Gay blends of colour are introduced into the out-door costume. .■ and plain tnEterials have trimmings ef brocade.

Invisible hair net« sro again in use. A v^-elmpli. _____________ drft_Rm_r il--, hnir with one of them is to divide it into two parts and arrange it in puffs on either side of the head. The hair is crimped over the fore head, .(-ie. the invisible net covers tho whole back of the head.

A capote for visiting or evening wear may be of light-grey English crape. The shirred crown is « the same crape, ■ and around the bonnet are t*o retchings of black velvet, lined with silk. Tbey are about five inches deep. On the right side is a small twisted piece of velvet that reaches to under the string. On the left side are a large grey f el-vet ribbon bow and a grey and black bird's, wing.

An exquisite material, of unique aetS-gn, is of silk damask, tho ground sea-green, with a spreading pattern of conventional "shell pink!' flowers, curved lines of dainty porce lain-blue meander over the satin, in appear ance like the outline Of a summer storm cloud, with the shining sun behind.

The " Argosy" gloves are made of soft kid in all fashionable colours ,- the cnt is excel lent and the sewing all that can be desired. The tiny tassel which finishes tbe lacing can be tucked in ot displayed J it Oertainly adds a coquettish grace to this prettiest of gloves.

Black toilets covered with laCe flounces are still among the most fashionable evening drcssee. They may have waists open square or in heart shape, with the open part sur rounded by a full lace niching. On the left side of the niching Is a bunch of flowers. There are also black velvet dresses with long trains and plastron nprens of satin covered with btaded embroidery aiid droop ing ornaments. These have waists that are embroidered and trimmed around the neck with several rows of jet beaded cording.

Increase of Cremation in Germany.

The practice of cremation appear to be grad uallygaininggroundinGermany.tlierebeing a steady increase in the number of bodies brought for this purpose to Gotha, whioh contains the sole establishment in the em pire. It is under the control of the city authorities, and the cremations up to the end of ISS2 were S4, viz., 17 in 1579, 16 in 1880, 33 in 1881, and 18 up to Septem_>er 18S2. All parte of Europe contribute to the business of the institution, while several bodies have been brought thither from America, in which country the cost of fashionable interment is so great that it is but a slightly increased expense to havo the remains cremated at Gotha. Tho prin cipal items of this expense arc! Tho re moval of the corpse from the railway station to the cemetery, 30s ; and the cremation it self, a ios. ,■....... There are several formalities te bo ob served before permission is given by the officials. A permit has to be obtained from tbo municipal authorities where the death took place, and also, from Gotha, that the body may be removed from one place lo an other, for without this latter the railway company would refuse foflndconvoyance. A corpse is not allowed to be moved uhloss en cased In metal, and nine is therefore pre scribed, as readily melting under the action of the heat. This must be enclosed in a wooden coffin of certain dimensions bo that it may fit the receptacle in the chamber. In case a funeral service should be requested, a further charge of £110s is made. The Gotha establishment, which was erected in 1878, is very complete, and cost for the machinery and buildings nearly £5,000. The apparatus is made after the Italian model", and consists of a large coal furnace for the production of the gas, which is conducted by a pipe to tho heating chamber in which' the body is placed, this chamber being 21 feet in length by 13 feet in height, and divided into two parts. The gas is first of all let into the nearest section, where it burns until.a whito heat is pro duced. At the time of the operation the body is lowered into the second compart ment, and the gas admitted from the other one, when the zinc case rapidly melts, tho garments being then consumed, and tho whole process occupying about two hours. As it takes a day and. night to properly heat the furnace, sufficient notico has to be sent to the authorities.—From the " Lon don Times,"Jan. 4. '_. ]'y i[ ]

Bi-Nefactobs.—" When a board o£ ominont physicians and chemists announced the dis covery that by combining some well-known valuable remedies a most wonderful medicine was produced whioh would cure Buch a wide range of diseases that most all other remedies could be dispensed with, many wero sceptical - but proof of its merits by actual trial has dis: nalledon doubt, and. to day the discoverers of teat great medicine, Hop Bitters, ore honoured and _-.es._a by alias benefactors,. Bead.

CLIPTOMANIA.

Extracts from Society Papers and al the most Interesting sources. (Selected __■_• our London Correspondent. It h "good business" to be apopula preacher in America. Mrßeecher's stipent for this year is £3,000, and Dr. Talmage is to receive £S,OOO. Mr Parnell has bought his mother's estate in Kew Jersey called Old Ironsides. It ought, says the "Globe," to be rechristened New Invmcibles. It is computed that Prince Napoleon, who is poo:- and very proud of being so, roceivecf during the Empire at least 37,078,000,francl in cash.—" Modem Society." A new journal, called tho "Honeymoon,". has just appeared at Brussels. The editor announces that he has secured the co-opera tion of a doctor of law, and of an experienced, genealogist. The business of this latter functionary will be to find illustrious ances tors for those who think their prospects of marriage will bo .thereby improved. ~.

It is said that Dr. Russell has had a drop of bitterness in his honeymoon cup, as all his wedding presents have been stolon by a brilliant coup of rascality on the part of ore who celled * for the boxes of tho doctcr during his absence. Tho value of the pro perty is large, but the great treasure of Ivs life, of course, cannot be stolen; she is at tached, and made safe by a ring.

A statistician, obviously mad, computes that during bis dramatic career Mr Barry Sullivan has committed 17,000 murders and has himself st(f_reddeath9,ooo times. Henry Irving has neither sinned nor suffered so much lie has only committed 15,000 murders and been killed 7,000 times. In tlie matter of divorce, Charles. Wyndham heads the list, having had the decrso nisi pronounced against him 2,800 times.

Tho following' notes of a speech recently delivered in Dublin aro not without interest as fine specimens of-real " bulls." Speaking on the much vexed Irish land question, tho speaker said—" The countbry is overrun by absentee landlords,"andaftel" a magnificent peroration, delivered, from tho tub on wbich he" was standing, he said^ " I tell you the enp of old Ireland's misery is overflowing; ayo, and it's notfullyet."

i "Pat," said a gentleman who was fond _._ lof using high-sounding phraseology to his ' ■ man-of-all-work, "lam going to town at A; ten o'clock, and shall weed out_ the ■'>, cucumber beds in the interim." " Interim ?" '" thought Pat, "That's a mighty quare name for a garden, anyhow." "Is Mr Smith at home." asked a visitor who : called shortly afterward. "-'is, sorr;.; Ye'U find him at work in his interim, there " beyant," announced Pat.

A fasbicnablo tailor suggests that, in y order to distinguish between the guests and ■"; t the waiters at a banquet, the former here- " after have their dress suits made of diagonal or basket cloth, leaving broadcloth «__•£ pressly to the waiters. Instead ol this,. it i-£ would be a good idea if the coloured dress suits should come in fashion as has been proposed. Dark green, very dark red and ~- blue cloth suits would be eminently becom-,-,-. ing to the majority of men, and there would then be no difficulty in distinguishing th© * guests at «n entertainment from the waiters. i$

Belgium has hitherto enjoyed tho unen- A viable reputation of drinking moro alcoholic ? liquor per head than any other country in 3 Europe. Denmark, however, is rapidly * gaining upon the Flemings. Consul Harris, '•" in a report just made to the Foreign Office, states that the consumption of spirits in - Denmark is equal to nearly 14 gallons per s adult male of the population. In the United . Kingdom, the consumption of spirits per f. head of the whole popMal.km was one gallon at proof. In Denmark it is about ... fit _ proof. Drunkenness bad to do with SI per* cent, of tho serious and 69 per cent, of tlio -\ petty crime in Denmark. . ,>

The "New York Clipper" says .:— y "Henry Irving likes this country, Ho j loves the dollars our fathers accumulated, - and our sons are pulling out, and he pro; -, poses to oome back to both, but the latter - especially, in 1855.", .Also that "Ellea , Terry is a 'slummist' Whilo in Chicago she made a practice of visiting the poor, to ■ drop loaves of bread, and dump tons of coal , into their laps, they never being alto gether out,.. That when she does run short of a supply of baker's bread she bakes her ' own. It is stated that sho docs this wherever she goes." : . . • . \

A convict named Richard Thompson was released from Dartmoor in the., second week of February. Since then he had been' Irving to find an honest living at Birming nami%nnn^^imß-ii_n«r-tii..__«I __<.„_jj vtt _ nu^ thorities at Dartmoor for 10s sd, owing to him* which would have "started him as a fish hawker," At last the P. 0.0. came too late. To try to live he had been forced to steal that very morning, and has, of course, been sent to gaol again. If poetic justice were possible in this practical world, tho "authorities" at Dartmoor should join him there.

"Even butchers weep "has always been a useful phrase for expressing intense pathos; and a case which was heard in the Court Of Queen's Beadi lately ought to provide a similar formula. Forty-two summonses'for libel had been taken out'against different parties by a butcher of the name of Mitchell, because the newspapers headed a case in which his name appeared as "The Charge of Kidtiapping a Wife. 1' This led "parties who dealt with him in offal" to cease doing business. " Even dealers in offal are ashamed " should at least become as service able as the older phrase.

The 'Princess Louiße is looking in perfect health'just now, and seems none the worse for having returned home from Canada. In deed.'she never liked being away from Eng land. While out at dinner the other : evening H.R.H. had a hearty laugh over the Btory of how, on her return from her honeymoon, she telegraphed to the Queen at Windsor! " The' Campbells are coming;" and how her mother absurdly supposed it was a delicate announcement of an Interest ing character. "It was too simple of mother. Why,; we were hardly a month married, 'not I'that time has made ..any difference in that respect." ' . ' -

A new social movement has sprang up at Oxford. A number of the undergraduates have decided that the title of "Esquire' has foecbine so _krac_i vulgarised that it ooglit to be' abandoned by gentlemen. Parents and "guardians are astonished and some what amused by solemn injunctions from the young men at college never to address them as " Esquire" any more.' An effort is being made to get up the same agitation at Cam bridge. Tlaih " Mr" is henceforth to be the distinguishing badge of social eminence > and the time may-come when titles of nobility will bo i .legated to our chimney, sweeps.—" Modern Society." ; Apropos ot an unsavoury Subject—Mi? * Binns, "Atlas " writes in tho "World :"— ■ '.-Che colony of- Victoria has a hangman of similar bibulous propensities, but these are astutely utilise^. When drunk,' this anti podean, executioner, by name Upjohn, is also riotous, and gets into trouble. Then ho is sentenced to a term of imprisonment, during which he _3 kept strictly sober, for duty. After a. .satisfactorily performed oxocution ho is allowed but, commits him self, and is rc-scntenced. Mr Upjohn _ lifo thus consists of imprisonmont, an occasional 'drunk,'carefully timed so as not to inter fere with his functions, and now and then an execution to .break the monotony,"

" Ladies' maids has their feelings, like other folk.1 "''A "week or two ngo (says " Truth") one of our best-known peeresses gave hor maid a month's notice, accompany ing the warning'by a smack ort the face. The maid-said nothing at; tho time, but brooded ovor her wrongs. On tho day that her' month was. up, after she had received 'icr wages, and her boxes had been placed upon a cab, she wont upstairs and commenced to A' do " .her mistress's hair. Having deftly fastened it to the back of the chair, she calmly proceeded to administer a series rof slaps to tho somewhat highly coloured cheeks which wero ready to her hands. Then, with a low curtsey, she took herself off.

THE QUEEN AND HER CRITICS.

Her Jlnjestj- sat at her easq one day, And read what: tlie newspapers had to »ay Of her liitesfwork, whioh had handed down To a deathless felory the name of Brown.

She read them all with a beaming smile, For the? praised'tho mattor and praised th c

style: .i And she laughed as ahe thought, were she no t a Queen, How different somo of them might have been.

But presently when her ladies went Ton newspaper shop on tho Bly so«i sent For all those papers that ran her down And chaffed her book and its hero Brown,

She read them through with a slight grimmace And a shade stole over tho pleasant face,'" For the truth was told In a rasping style" ..- That the'evenest temper well might" rile.

But sho felt in her bcart a gleam of pride "A That she ruled a people wno.dared derid '':,; ■■: . The book that came from a royal hand—. ■'. Twas a change from the gush of the toady b and

Sick of the torront of courtly praise, ' ' • r- This " slate " in her life was a novel phaso;' And, glad that her faults she at last could see, < She vowed to.avoid them |n Number Three.

THE AUCKLAND E^l^G STAB/ SATURDAY,. MA* 31, 1884: -

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