STAR SATURDAY SUPPLEMENT.

AUCKLAND, N.Z., SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1884

RANDOM SHOTS

[By Zamiel.]

Some write, a neighbour's name to lash, Somo writo—vain tliousht!—for neudful cash, Some writo to plcusc the country clash.

And raiso a din, For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

WHEN stringing a shaft at random against the camp of the Rationalistic Association a month ago, I littlo thought that it would bury itself in the bosom of the Honorary Secretary of that noble collection of advanced thinkers. Nor, indeed, did the letter from Mr William Cooper to which I good-naturally replied on the following week, omitting the writer's name from a simple desire to avoid personal controversy, arouse in mo any glimmering perception of the terrible avalanche of wrath which I had called down upon my head. The reception the other day of a printed leaflet headed "Zatniel and the Auckland Rationalistic Association," a copy of which was placed on every Boat in the Temple of Reason on Sunday night, rudely awakens rrio to the enormity of my offences. I take it that in sending a copy of this document Mr Cooper's object is that I shall make some observations upon it; and little as I conceived that these wayward notes would ever take the form of religious controversy, I am constrained to gratify him.

Personally I have no knowledge of the religious or irreligious belief; o£ my. corres pondent, but I gather from the accounts of those who assume to know him that ho i« a well-meaning but somewhat eccentric young man of boundless self-assurance, who has sought in sundry curious ways the notoriety that has heretofore eluded his pursuit. He figured on one occasion in the select circle of a Mutual Admiration Society, and subse quently in the press,as an apologist for that paragon of female virtue, Jezebel, when he was set upon by an ardent but too candid admirer, who reduced him to pulp. More recently he appeared on the platform in a controversy with Mr G. A. Brown on the question whether the Biblical text war ranted the theory of a pre-Adamite race. These exploits confirm the impres sion gathered from his present aban donment of anonymity that one of my chief sins has been the omission of the name of Cooper when quoting the large portion of his letter which appeared, without omission or interpolation, in these columns. The statement in his latest letter that the former communication was unfairly abridged in a material part will be suf ficiently answered by a comparison of the authorised version now in print with the letter as it was published in the Stab.

Despite his hysterical repudiation of Church methods, the injured Secretary's latest effort, like his former communica tions, bears marks of orthodoxy which con vince one that we have hero a straying lamb whoso heart is not yet weaned of its yearnings for the maternal sheepfold. In the former letter I was likened unto the devil (a personage eminently Scriptural).. . This time we are told that " the character of ' Zamiel's ' statements generally leade me to believe that he is poHyessutl of a spirit similar to the one spoken of in 2 Chronicles, chapter xviii., verse 22, for if hLs cranium were as destitute of capillary growth as hLs assertion is of that quality which is deemed the reverse of falsehood, the taper fingers of hi* wife might, after a domestic disagreement, wander disconsolately over the barren waste in the futile search of a solitary hair to pluck." Most subtilo and exquisite wit, how shall I answer theo ? If the apostles of Reason have not yet obeyed the injunctions lately given them to burn their Bibles lest their pure minds should be corrupted by its teaching, 1 do beseech them to turn to the passage and see how readily this, shocking book furnishes even a grand high priest ol Rationalism with an apposite denunciation of lying. Mr Cooper next proceeds to assail my parsing remark that "analogy is at best a shaky kind of argument." If a defective education has left him ignorant that an argument from analogy lacks the essentials of a logicalderaoustration.lcannot afford the spaco here to illustrate the position.

I come now, somewhat tardily, to tho gist of the Secretary's dissertation. Ho challenges "Zamiel" to justify the appli cation of the word " ribald" to Ingersoll.such term beingdefinedby Air Cooper as "mean, lewd, or indecent," A.demurrer might be entered against the definition, but let that pass ; it ia comprehensive enough for the purpose. The United States Governmeut (a secular authority) was compelled to issue a regulation prohibiting the circulation of filthy and obscene literature through tho national post office, on complaint being mado by the principals of various educational institutions that, such pub lications were addressed by certain societies to young persons attending these establishments with the manifest object of debauching their minds. Mr Robert Inger soll's name was the first appended to a petition for tho revocation of that order ; Mr llobeit Ingersoll in. porson was a member of the deputation that waited on the Government in support of the pqtftion.' Its prayer was refused. Again,' Mr Ingereoll is the avowed author of the commendatory introduction to Dr. Van Buren Denslow's "Modern Thinkers." It is impossible in this space to givo extended passages, but one or two will sorvp to indicate the general tenor:—. •. ,; ~,;,, i.,

It is generally believed to be moral to tell tho truth aud immoral to lie. And yet it would be difficult to prove that Nature prefers the true to tho false. Everywhere she makes false impressions first,1 and- only after years, or thou sand? of years, do we become able to detect her in her lies. .. .. Nature endows almost every animal With the faculty of deceit, in order to aid it in escaping from the brute fdrcoof its superiors. Why, then, should not man be'en dowed with.the faculty of-lying when it'is to his interest to appear wise concerning matters Of whiob..'.ne is ignorant? Lying, 13 often a refuge to tho weak, a stepping: stone ; o fiowor, aground-of reverence towardthose who ivo by getting credit for knowing what they do not know. No one doubts that it is right (6rthe maternal partridge to feign .lameness, a..broken' wing or leg, in, order to conceal.her young in flight, by causing the pursuer to suppose lie ckn more easily eaten her than her offspring. From •whonce,then,in Nature.do we derive the factthaf a human being may not tetUau untruth with the*' same motive? . ... It would not be strangd if a close analysis and a minute historical research should concur in proving that all moral rules are.doctrines established! by the strong' for thu governmenbof the weak.. ,It is,invariably tho^ Btror:gwho require the weak1 to tell the truth; ■and always to promote some Interest of the' stroiiiv". .' ;r . "Thou shalt not steal" Is a moral.- prompt invented' by tho strong, the matured, the successful, and by them im

pressed upon the weak, the infantile, and the failures in life's struggles, as all criminals are. Universal society might be pictured, for the illustration of this feature of the moral code, as consisting of two sets of swine, one of which is in clover and the other out The swine that are In the clover grant. " Thou shalt not steal : put up the bars 1" The awine that are out of the clover grunt, " Did you make the clover t Let down the bars!" " Thou shalt not steal" is v muxim Impressed by the property-holders upon the non-property-holdera. . . -So the laws f orbiddingunchastity were framed by those who, in the earlier periods of civilisation, coald afford to own womon, for the protection of their pro perty rights in them, against the poor who could not.

Perhaps it ia supererogatory to go further for material to justify the identifica tion of Mr Robert Ingeraoll with the word "ribald," that term oeing interpreted as embracing things that are "mean, lewd, or indecent," but one brief passage from the Hon. Judge Black's reply to Ingereoll—the writer being admittedly one of the most eminent jurists America has produced, and in honour of whose memory the American Consulates throughout the world were re cently instructed to float the national flag half-mast high—furnishes the opinion of a competent judge on the general tone of Ingersoll's writings. "Of course I cannot speak with absolute certainty (says Judge Black), but I believe most confidently that there is not in the religious polemic.? of this century as much slanderous invective as can be found in any ten lines of Mr Ingersoll's writingß."

The concluding passages o£ the Hon. Secretary's epistle are devoted to a grandi loquent denunciation of the imaginary evil deeds of Christianity. It is the fashion of men of this calibre, having a .surface smattering of the events of history, and without power or'•will to trace the effects to their primary causes, to fasten upon Christianity the wrongs which have sprung, in defiance of its teaching, from the passions of thehuman heart. Thesagacious lienjainin Franklin, when urging Paine to burn his "Age of Reason," said : "If men are ao wicked with religion, what ■would they be without it ?" But Cooper knows bottor. For him the noble army of martyrs, who spilled .their blood in testimony to their faith in a higher spiritual life, have died in vain ; the labours of the self-denying recluse, who, toiling patiently and in solitude, preserved to humanity the goodness and genius of a dead civilisation which had been trodden under barbaric feet on the fall of the mighty Roman Empire, have gone for naught; the genius of the higher civilisation which has sprung into activity fresh like a fountain from the pure well of primitive Chris tian truth, finds no appreciative re cognition from his shallow' eelf-bound soul. It is pleasant here to turn from Cooper to his masters. Huxley, the prince of Agnostics, is an advocate of Bible teaching in public schools, declaring his conviction that there is no compendium of moral trnth extant possessing an equal power to move the human heart. His latest public ut terance iB a -rigorous denunciation of "the bosh of heterodoxy,"which he declares to be infinitely more repugnant to the truly scientificmind than "the bosh of orthodoxy. M. Renan, whose profound scholarship has for the greater part of a lifetime been devoted to the task of compiling a con sistent Christian history, purged of super naturalism, in the concluding passage of his recently - published "Marie Anr&le La Fin dv Monde Antique " (Paris, 1883), gives utterance to these notable words :—

Great and 3plendid is the woria. and notwith standing all the obscurity that enfolds it, wo sec that it is the outcome of an inward tendoncy toward rißht, of a supreme goodness. Chris tianity is the most striking of those efforts that are strung through history — efforts to give birth to an ideal of light and justice. Although the germ of it was Jewish, Christianity in the course of time has become the common product of mankind; each raco has contributed the special gifts which had beon allotted to it, the best it had. God is not present in Christianity to tho exclusion of all other elements; but he is more emphatically present in it than in any other religious or moral outgrowth. Christianity is, in fact, tho religion of civilisod peoples. Every nation accepts it in one sense or another, according to the degree of its intellectual cultivation.

There Is just one passage in the epistle of this New Zealand claimant to a sort of suc cesßorehip in the apostolic office, in the truth of which Ido most heartily concur. Free thinkers, whatever they may assert, have not found any new key to the problem of life or human destiny. Yea, have we it not here set down by their official scribe : "They admit that mystery surrounds tho cradle and envelopes in an impenetrable cloud the tomb." If this discovery, or no discovery, is the cause of the tremendous cackle they set up, no ancient hen ever cut a more ridiculous caper over so addled an egg. Humanity has not forgotten, nor will it soon forget, its indebtedness to Christianity. Or if it should prove so unfaithful to its bene factor, Labour will recall in toilsome days the creed which gave it the seventh' part of its time for repose and instruction ;>it will think regretfully of the ungrateful rejection of Him who taught that nobleness of soul and not earthly possessions is the insignia of dignity and worth ; that to lovo God and to love thy neighbour as thyself are the greatest of the commandments; that pure religion and undefined consists in visiting the widow and fatherless in their affliction. While we possess a religion like this, compressed into the compass of one little volume, easily understood by tho simple, and enforced with all the power of a divine command, we need no other key to unlock the mysteries of this life or any which may come hereafter, nor will humanity readily exchange the grandeur of the faith and worship bequeathed to it by the virtus and spiritual aspirations of past generations for. the 'poor counterfeit prof fered for the -nourishment, of. its soul's .cravings in the queerly compounded ritual of the New Zealand Rationalists.

Afterconsiderablecogitation;and discus sion in Committee and in Council .over.the designs .for fee proposed JTxee Library and Art Gallery, our sapient ctvjc fathers have followed the recommendation Of the experts in making their award. It may wound the amour propre of the local' architects to know that.Melbourne aftd'.Dunedin have out - stripped .'them in the -race for honours,- but there remains to them the glimmer of a. hope in the'poßsibility that .tho tenders will exceed the designers.', estimates, and that the'position will become' "as-you; ; were." No one .can.fail to be struck. by the marked- divergence, between the estimates of the designers and those of the Sub-Committee of experts. It does not; exhibit, itself; in a few caaes merely, but all round, and, the difference is at the enormous rate of: fully fifty per cent.".. I am irresistibly driven to tho conclusion that ; one or other of these parties—competitors or experts— ,mußtliave egregjouiiy btundered, 'and the question, for consifleratioh must be: Which ia'it?'Can it be the competitor^'? p'f ; course, ( itmay be said they-were anxious to'make; dk. pretty and as effective a display, aa

possible, and that in doing so they would not be deterred by scruples of cost when there was nothing to pro vent them understating by several thou sands their calculations of the probable cost. Then, but how comes it about that they all have erred in the same way, and that the Sub-Committee, iv shifting the estimates from the twenty thousands to the thirty thousands, have hardly disturbed their relative positions one to another '! It is very singular indeed that so many designers, living in cities widely apart, should have erred so grossly upon the one point. So singular, truly, that despite the deserved repute of the City Engineer, the Clerk of Works, and the City Valuer, I am forced to believe that it is they, acting in concert, who have made some huge mistake in their calculations. There is one circumstance, too, that strengthens the conviction. Mr Anderson told tli6 Council that they had cubed all the buildings, and after taking out all the measurements valued them at an average of 9d per foot. It is here, to my mind, that tho error lies buried, for it is an open secret that Jlr Connolly's tender for the Harbour Board offices was at the rate of (3d or 6id per foot, and contractors agree that this is about the usual ooft. Jsow, the difference between Gd and 9d is exactly tiie proportion which tho designers' estimates bear to the Sub-Committee's, and I strongly incline to the belief that the local functionaries will be found to be awfully in t)io wrong. At any rate the tenders will conclusively de cide the point.

"Man's inhumanity toman " i>. T doubt not, a steadily diminishing quantity; love, benevolence, and brotherly kindness are on the increase here as ekewhere through out the world ; yet despite the growth of humane feeling, and the multiplication of means for alleviating all forms of misery, one is still at times compelled to ex claim :— " Alan! for the rarity Of Christian charity ! Under the sun." The above ejaculation was forced from me this week by hearing of a sad case of suffering and neglect which happened the other day in this most enlightened city of Auckland. A poor man, afflicted with an aggravated attack of cancer, applied for ad mission to the District Hospital, but was refused on the ground that he was incur able, and was, therefore, not a fit subject for that institution. It was, indeed, too true that the wretched sufferer was incur able, for after hunting about for twelve hours to set the machinery in motion which should admit him to the Old Men's Befuge, he was received into that asylum only to die within a short time after admittance. Let the reader look at these facts in all their pathetic significance, and he will confess that something is sadly out of joint in a system which permits such an occurrence. Here is a miserable and afflicted man, en t feebled by a mortal disease, craving for a spot where he might lay down his head to die, yet he is hounded about from place to glace, even while the grasp of the Great •estroyer is upon him. and only admitted beneath tho roof of a charitable institution through the intercession of a gentleman of "influence," and not through the spon taneous benevolence of tho community !

Does it not seem particularly heartless to shut such a case from the Hospital—a charitable institution—in which there are many inmates who have no claim on charity, and where not unfrequently lunatic patients are accommodated ? Why should it have been necessary, in such an extreme case, for the unfortunate applicant to go and spend weary hours in begging for admission to the Refuge, instead of being sheltered at once ?

Oh, it was pitiful! Near a whole city-fiil. Home he had none!

I blame the system ; for under a proper system there would be some one to see that no harshness or heartlessness was used. It is the instinct of a Relieving Officer to be suspicious and careful in admitting claims for assistance; but while this acts as a safeguard against fraud, it frequently leads to acts of exclusion which are deplorable in their consequences. The new Benevolent Society, which aims at organising charitable effort and embracing all classes of destitu tion in its operations, will fall short of its object if it does not devise means to obviate the recurrence of such a painful case as that alluded to. Friendlessness ond help lessness do not occur so frequently here but that full provision can easily be made to meet every case, and for the credit of the city I trust it will bo done.

So my word of warning to the Union S.S. Company has not proved vox et practerca niJnf. While warmly commending their enterprise in running the express steamer Takapuna, I pointed out that the effect of their regulations as to fares, breaking of journey, etc., was to create a distinction of classes in the community, and expressed the opinion that this policy would not work under democratic institutions. And now, after three months' trial, the directors have decided to put the Takapuna on the same footing as other steamers, and abolish the invidious distinction created by the former practice of virtually making her tojm to a numerous, class in the community. Ex perier.ee, that best of teachers, has taught them—not my prophetic voice ; for they have found that their policy has resulted in a loss off 1,000 per month on the running of the Takapuna. Their enterprise deserved a different recompence, perhaps; but the Scotch proverb haf> it that "Boucht wit's the best," and the directors are doubtless wiser as well as sadder men since the invest ment of that £3,000 in the acquisition of experience.

No "random shots" are those which during the last ten days Professor Payne has been firing on the stage of Abbott's Opera House, bat examples of cool, steady, and deliberate marksmanship such as the public are rarely/privileged to witness. I make no pretence of being a " crack shot," so I can without hypocrisy or jealousy re cord my admiration of the professor's wonderful, steadiness of nerve nhd muscle in playing with human life and weapons of deadly precision,. Of course, a wayfaring man, though a fool, knows that firing coins from human fingers and apples from human heads is a risky operation ;it did not need the accident to Mr Pulford, nor the excited diatribe of '' Granny, " to prove that; but events have shown that it requires as much pluck and steadiness on the part of the person-shot at as on. the.part of him who shoots in order to the successful performance of these feats. Yet the " Herald, " which praises .the wonderful skill of the "shoot lst," has nothing but sneers, and gibes, and contumely to cast at. those who submitted

to the trying ordeal. There is no effect without adequate cause, and by drawing a bow at a venture I think the reason of "Granny's " illogical position may be found. XXX First let me say that the local press has occupied rather curious relations to the Professor. Like a true exponent of modern scepticism and Herbert Spencer's intel lectual doubts, the "Herald" began by questioning the genuineness of the shooting, and by this means there was worked up that private test exhibition at which Mr Pulf ord, of the Intercolonial News and Advertising Agency, received such "striking " proof of tho true inwardness of the affair. That was press-man No. 1 vanquished and passed to the rear; but, nothing daunted by the disaster, another veteran journalist, Mr Montrose, came forward in public and sub mitted his cranium to the mercy of the Pro fessor's rifle. The " saw " has it that' 'every bullet has its billet," but evidently none have been billeted on Mr Montrose, for he passed through the fire scatheless. It now seemed as if the " ball was to be kept roll ing " till it went the round of the Auckland press; but at this juncture "Granny" stepped in and put a stop to the game by threatening the terrors of the law on the shootist, and condemning as egregiously conceited and possibly "chicken-hearted" those individuals who allowed rifls'bullets to be fired within an inch of their skulls. It is weli-kn«wn that the old lady is no " chicken," but I cannot help thinking that the secret of her condemnation of the exhi bition lay in her fear that she might next be challenged to go through the Payne-ful urdcal ! When it came near her own door all her scepticism vanished; the reality of the danger convinced her of the genuineness of the feat, and she began to try and deprive others of the kudos which she could not earn for herself. Ido not blame the staff of the Stab for not rushing into "the deadly and the imminent breach;" they know how frequently the random shots of " Zamiel" hit the mark, and they re quired no demonstration of the accu racy of the aim of a cool and purposeful marksman. " Granny " will doubtless con sole herself with the adage that " Discretion is the better part of valour," and will not mind though she is told that it is the maxim of the cowardly and " chicken hearted." As for " Zamiel," he does not like to see a brother marksman robbed of credit, and he never fails to admire those who stand to be "shot" at without squirming ! XXX A little town in the south of this provin cial district was thrown into a state of great excitement recently by the occurrence of a fatal accident in a bush near at hand. In small communities sensational and ex citing circumstances are as few as angels' visits, and the advent of a travelling show man, or even the occurrence of a dog-fight, is magnified into a circumstance of great importance. So when the news of the fatal accident got wind in T., it may be imagined that there was a little abnormal agitation in the public mind. The first sign of this was a little difficulty between the local pub licans as to whose house the body should bo deposited in. The local constable, who is the grand panjundrum in such matters in little Peddlingtons, was driven nearly beside himself by the strife between the irate Bonifaces. Eventually one of the contend ing parties produced his books, and, having convinced the sergeant that the deceased had been a customer of his, the body was placed in one of his rooms. The envy of his brothers in thetrade may well be iman-ined, as the whole population of the town for a day or two did nothing but hang about the Blank hotel, and sing the praises of the deceased—with, of course, occasional intervals for rest and refreshment. And then someone gave the local under taker an . order to make the ooffin. When that functionary came to the hotel he was promptly shown to the door again by the publican, who had determined to try his hand at a little amateur coffin-making. And at last, when it was regretfully decided to bury the body, the whole population fol lowed it to the grave attired in parti-coloured shirts and top boots, and they're talking about it yet.

That unchronicled but exceedingly pleasant Sunday-school teachers' picnic at bunnyside the other day was quite an event, and enjoyable to every participator, and even the pious fraud perpetrated by the ladies' young man seemed to add to the happiness of that sunny scene in the laugh ing face of Mother Nature, who, as Byron asserted, is " the kindest mother still." Tho little incident, or the black bottle affair, in connection with this picnic may serve as another illustration of the verity of Sir Walter's words—" Mirth can into folly glide, and folly into sin," if it be a sin under such sunny circumstances to purloin from a holiday hamper a big bottle of Guinness. Dublin stout. It had been previously arranged in the school-house to have a summer picnic under the trees, and Sumy side (a most appropriate appellation) was agreed upon by vote as the most suitable rendezvous for the genial gathering of kindred spirits. The morning opened gladly, Nature put on her holiday dress, and several of the ladies appeared in improved style, with fashionable projecting im provers. The full-spirited party were duly shepherded to the sylvan spot, the hamper was landed, and soon was spread upon the fresh grass, under daintiest cloths, a tempting supply of viands in exquisite order —sandwiches, sausage-rolls, cheese-cakes, summer drinks, and for those who had not taken the abstinence pledge, bottled ale and stout, sherry, etc. A few melodies wore occasionally warbled by gifted ladies, and as is customary at picnics and green outings, several young persons paired off unobserved to leafy solitudes or water side retreats, forgetful or careless of friends left behind them in chatty enjoyment of tho luxuries of the season on the sun burnished grass. Shakespeare was correct in saying :— " Love is blind; and lovers cannot see The petty follies they themselves commit." A young man and young woman' were missing immediately after doing their best at the feast. They had slid from the " goodly companie," it was conjec tured, "to hold communion sweet in some sequestered nook." But before descending into Sunnyside Hollow to gather ferns, the young i man adroitly lifted the lid of the hamper, and supposing his act unseen, popped a big bottle under his coat, and followed the lady in apparent innocence, secreting the stolen treasure among the fern roots, thinking, no doubt, that it would prove very serviceable on his return to the vicinity of the picnieians. Other I eyes, however, besides those of Madeline were upon him, and when far away in the ferny distance, studying Heath's "Fern World," the hawk-eyed observer crept elily

to the spnt and drew forth the hidden black bottle, unwired the cork, and (shocking !) drank the contents. The meditative lover returned, and was seen to stoop for the bottle ; it was still there, but by some mysterious influence it had been changed from "stout " to " thin," and was still duly corked and wired. The young man being thirsty, was resolved upon "heavy wet," as they say in Berkshire, and commenced to drink, but just as he commenced to swig of the diluted water' (for it was muddy) a loud burst of laughter from the top of the hill greeted his astonished ears. The pious fraud had been discovered, and there stood the young man abashed, and reduced considerably below his imaginary height in the presence of his friends who had "bowled him out." One poetical young lady exclaimed in the words of her iavourite Wordsworth :

One impulse from a vernal wood may teach you more of man. Of moral evil, and of good, than all the sages

SELECTED POETRY.

(:-0 SETH BAKER..

Come stow it. I say. for it's waste of breath • I know us you moans it. well; But tin; eye scc3fluar when it'slilmed withdeath. And the thing as I sees is Hell! I know of tho Blood for sinners shed,

-\nr! tins pardon full and free. Anil tnc Unite that washes snow-white tile red, But there ain't no Grace for me!

Stop ! let me speak, for the time is short: You wasn't futcned here lo spout. I'm nr.nu uf your Halleluiah sort; Wi.ilu chokers and nie'folls out. But you aint. not you, of the smug-faced crew. All Glory and white of eye ; I trust you. parson ; by snakes, I do! So listen before 1 die.

I'm bound, I am, for the brimstone lake Witli its horrible reek and stench ; For the worms as writhe and the rlames as qualo, And the thirst you can noways squench. I don't make out as 1 likes the trip But I tell you all the same I means to start with a trood stiff lip. And a step as shows I'm game.

I'm came to the bottom—curse the cough f It saws me through and through— And if ever my pals take on to scoff. And say as 1 sent for you— I fetched you away to jabber and pray. And show me the road to die— " He was game to the bottom," just you say, And choke the fools with their lie.

I'm quiet—all right—l am, I swear; No. I won't let out no more. Just give me a pull of the brandy there- Is there nobody nigh the door? Are you sure as there's never a listening sneak > Then give me your hand to ketch; Bend down while I speak, for I'm horful weak. And the words is hard to fetch.

Here's a newspaper under my head, yon see, What tells, with a. heap of lies. Seth Baker was tried in r sixty-three, At the Worcester County 'Size. Don't spout, it loud, for it's waste of breath." I can Rive you the pith, I can ; The sentence of death was passed on Seth For knifUig a poliis-man I

You remember it ? No ? Why the world went mad ! Twas a ninc-days'-wonder case ; They talked of the lad. and the ways ho had. Ilia pluck and Ins handsome face. It wasn't right proved how the blood was spilt. And they'd easy have pulled him through ; But the stoopid young fool confessed his guilt So what coifld the lawyer do ?

Petitions were signed—for the chap was young Imploring the Queen for grace : But the end of it all was, Seth was hung In spite of his youth and face. And I s'ood there, in the struggling square, And stared in the prisoner's eye ; I saw them cover his face, so fair And fasten his hempen tic !

Yes. I stood there, in the death-still square And met Seth Baker's eve; I heard him mutter a tag of pay'r: I saw—l saw him die! He took the drop with a rare good pluck With never a shake nor whino ;— And the knife in the peeler's heart that struck, It was not Seth s, but mine!

It happened along of a wench, you seo— Young Seth was acourtin' Kate; But—so rum is & sho—she took to me, And jilted my handsome mate. So we got spliced,—but I used her bad: It was nothin' but drink and row ■ But she's getting paid back for the timo she had, A-singing in Glory now !

Well, Seth was a chap as was always soft— Uc rcggerler drove me wild ; For he'dfoller and say to me. oft and oft " He kind to your wife and child!" But ha gave it up, and he let me g»— No preaehin' would keep mo stfaignt: And he got to know as it meant a blow, And a worser time for Kate !

I was always in drink ; I ivas deep in debt I was sacked from my job of work; And then I roc in with a poachin' sot. As nothin' at, all would shirk. We'd many a spree, my pals and Die, And many a right good bag ; And we packed thegarao to town, you see. And fuddled away the swag.

We was out one night—l was sotting a Bnare; Afore you could reckon three, A peeler was out of sonio cursed lair, And grapplin' along of me. I draws my knife, and the peeler's breast 1 drives it through and through. ■ ■'*

He staggered find fell with a horful yell: [ I hudn't no sense nor breath ; .> And the ruck tears on. like the fiends of hell. In a game of life and death. A Moke crop' soft, and behind rao slipt And the peelers maket for him.

I couldn't tell how—and I can't tell now— Seth came in the nick of time ; Unless he was there on ihc scent of. a row. To roskur his jul from crime. Ho touches my arm, and hn says, says he. As ho points to the bell of fir, " Vl.'""',1, in on -voul' k »'-■>;— no matter for me Its all £or tho sake of • ler.'

I've tnltl it yon, parson, straight and fair With devil usiur or lii.-: And 1 stood thore, in the death-still square- And saw Seth i^.iu-r tiiv. ! I know of the Hlood fur sinners shed,

And the pardon full nv.d free ; Hut the Grace that wishes snow-white tho red. It isn't no jjo for me '.

A lifer in Hell is tho sentence spoke On a. sou] so mean and grim • Yet toll us tho tale of that dying Moke, And (Jhrist as went bail for him ■ • • Just mutter a prayer • • • I know it well, This here is the grip o£ death • • • It ain't as I want to beg oft' Hell! I'm sorry I done it • • • Seth!

Frederick Langbridge,

In the pantomime "Jack and the Bean stalk," which is being played, at the Theatre Royal, Sydney, theru is a topical song which always brings down the house. One verse runs thus i—

Oh! have you seen the collars that tho Sydney nwshers weaW

They're funny, very funny! *> The tightness o£ their trousers and tho partlnc of tneir hair

Is funny, very funny! They talk tho greatest nonsense, -with such idiotic drawl. And instourt a' walking ant like mon.likc snails they slowly crawl. How thelaili'-.* tolo- ate such humim apes atalK la tunny, funny, very, very funny!