THE STAR SATURDAY SUPPLEMENT.

AUCKLAND, N.Z., SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 1883.

A Week's Rambles in the North.

I started from Queen-street wharf at 5 o'clock on Tuesday evening in the old favourite s.s. Argyle. The weather being fcautifnlly fine, a large number of passen gen who seemed delighted with the invigo rating evening breezee, kept up a regular promenade until the ringing of the bell in the saloon announced that Mr Coins and his efficient stall" of assistants, were in readiness todistiibute the creature comforts, to those ■ who felt inclined to partake thereof. I can safely say that the hoar, or two, already spent at sea, gave a marvellous impetus to all hands, who really did ample justico t'j the good things provided. Tea being over the main deck wa» sought once more, where several of the passengers decided to take up tbeir quarters for the night, others amused themselves by the old favoutise game of Loo and Uribbage, whilst many betook them, selves to reading the London Journal, and other popular works, to be found in the ship's library. Between nine aud ten o'clock the yawning becams so prevalent that it was plainly visible that many were getting wearied and seemingly anxious to retire behind the curtains, and gat embraced in the arms of old Father Morpheus. The steward and stewardess, at once set to, and in a remarkably short time a large number of portable beds, were in readiness, to re ceive their occupants. I turned into a bunk, j about mid ship on the lower tier, imme diately afterwards there was not a single berth to be found empty, and as there was still a number of passengers unprovided Trttk beds, the well carpetod lloor of the saloon was soon seized on as a substitute,— but oh 1 horror, of horror's 1 what a treat was in store for the sleepless companions of one of the ground floor passengers,- who kept up an incessant strain of snoring, all nl"ht long. In tha EVENING Star a few nights previously I had been reading of a ■ ; My in Detroit whose husband was bo addicted to suoring, that his wife, with con ' slant fiogering had learned to play '' Yankee Doodle,' on his nose. As I was reclining ■ almost directly opposite my sonorous neighbour. I had a good look at tho move ments of his nasal organ, and, I could not help believing -if the inventive lady from Detroit had bten there to take the dimen sions of his mouth (as it was wide open) 1 some perforated india rubber musical in sttament might be so formed to fill trie cavity that a harmonious compeer might he obtained as a pleasing addendum to "Yanuee Doodle." About daylight, bsing wearied out I fell into a slumber, and we were inside Whangarei Heads before I knew. The first thing that attracted my attention was the lowering of a"boat in Partu Bay, to put some of the passengers ashore. I had a good iook at this charm- Ing little "cove, and at this time in the morniog (between five and six o'clock) the surrounding1 landscape was in reality beautiful to behold. JProminont amongst its other attractions is the well-kept home stead, greenhouse and vinery, lately erected by our esteemed feliow-townsman, of Berlin-house, Mr W. H. Shakespear. '^n the return of the boat, a start was made for Whangarei, arriving at the Kailway Wharf at 8 o'clock. Bavingdischargod passengers and luggage, we re-started immediately for Mangapai, arraying at Ormistom Wharf at 10 o'clock,* Amongst the passenger* was Mr "Wiutle, returning to his estate* at Ruai tan'gi, after an ab.senew of four or five years, add taking down with him, a team of ... splendid draught hordes, together with ' ploughs harness &c. The most pleating inci- 1 dent in connection with our brief stay at the1 wharf was Mr <'rmisiou sending onboard' an assorted basket of fruit, to which the passengers helped themselves bountifully, until it was di»ooverud that the fruit waa a present to the captain, who shortly after-; wards ' came" round and transferred, the fragments to a place of safer keeping. AfUr taking on board a large quantity, of fruit, we steamed to Mangapai. Hero, also, were to be seen a large number of country, settlers waiting the arrival of the fteam-. "bo*t, with bull <:k drays and other different' kinds of country con»eyance», to convey. their merchandise into the.int- rior. Having made Ithc aoquaintance of Mr Nevill, of "Waikeikei, on board, and he being an old settler, and kindly volunteering to point oat to me all the places of interest on the way up to his own residence it may easily be imagined I stuck to him like a leach for the remainder of the day. On an eminence a short way from the land ing i* to be toon the residence of Mr Harrison, storekeeper, postmaster, ac, whien was my first house of call, and it being how 12 o'clock and dinner on the table Mm Harrison very kindly invited us to join the family circle, and just try and make ourselves at homo, which invitation we willingly accepted, and after remain ing for an hour, we mounted our horse"',, and Boon disappeared, from the tafe anchorage and land locked harbour of Mangapai. The fint buildings of ' importance we met : with sb we started, were the Resident Magistrate's.. Court, and school-house in dose proximity, whilst in the immediate f. neighbourhood and afar off are to De seen the apparent cosy homesteads of the settlers nestling in the midst of their cultivation!, and their sleek skinned herds brousing on the adjacent hill sides. We were now entering the Ruarangi Block, and what a Bad sight met my view. .For miles along the raugoj were to be seen the burnt.trunks of the'rnajestic'kauri; thousands of pounds worth of most valuable timber laid waste hy some unaccountable carelessness. Even farther along are to be seen on the opposite side, hundreds of those noble trees standing divested of their beautiful foliage, and commonly known aa the burnt kauri forest. Passing these scenes of wanton destruction, ■wa'emerged into the Waikeikei Block. •■■- The first.house to be descried is Mr Wai. . keVgj which can be seen ac a considerable distance, and on nearer approach, I parted company, with my friend, as his course home lay in a different direction. Arriving at Mr Walker's, I found that he and one of his neighbours were out pig hunting in the bush, but seeing me approach they fmrne-' diately returned, and told me they had shot two .large ones. Mr Walker has un jj douhtedly many fine specimens of the real 'Bertie " running about his paddocks and stock-yards. of which he is justly proud, and no doubt is very anxious to keep the V wild swine'of the forest at a reasonable dis s tsnee. After remaining some timei and .v, having a good drink ot new milk, Mr Walker very kindly showed me the near ■ t Way acrogs his paddocks to Mr Neville's,

It was now tea-time, and Mr Neville having been given notice of my intention of calling, no doubt an extra pinch was put in the pot, anyhow, I think I never made a tea with greater zest. After tea I made my way to Mr Ilountrues, a short distance further away, whtre I was very hospitably received and remained for the night. Noxt morning I made an early start, and after a short lly round his ditl'etont cultivations, 1 was much pleased to soe such good crops; maize from 10 to 15 feet high, cut and thrown down broadcast, to a splendid herd of well-bred dairy cattle and fat steers. After leaving Mr tiountree'a cultivations, I passed again through Mr Neville's proporty where a largo amount of labour and money has been expended, in getting his paddocka so well fenced and cultivated. He has a nice, well kept ilower gardon in front of his house. Stock-yard and suitable ollice houses in the rear, vegetable garden and orchard, with abundance of different kinds of fruit bearing trees, together with pinus ineignes, prowiDg luxuriantly all round, which gave the whole an appearance of a good old English homestead. Parting from Mr Neville, I skirted the property of his next neighbour, Mr Pigeon, and then Mr Walkers on my way back ta Mangapai. Tbo next thing which attracted my atten tion was a number of well dressed children, a short distance on the road betoro me, and wishing to have company, I soon overtook them, and found they were making their way to a monster picnic which is annually held in the district. In a short time all a round were to be seen numbers of horsemen and vehicles, who were (from many miles distant) wending their way to the general rendezvous. The place of meeting for this year was in a paddock belonging to Mr Mc- Allister, Mangapai, it was really a most suitable place, possessing all tho natural advantages indispensable to the bucooss of an out-door gathering. On arrival I mixed in tho'throng and never spent a more pleas ant afternoon in my life, after tho mid-day spread was disposed of, tho sports com menced in real earnest. The day waa beau tifully fine, and old and youDg seemod to enjoy themselves immensely. The sports consisted of one, two, and three leg races, hop step and jump, kiss-in-the-ring, climb ing the pole, and other innocent amuse ments. Many valuable prizes were given away, a new saddle, ladies' work boxes, writing desk*, and numerous volumes of well selected books, by the judges appoin ted to decide who were the successful win ners in the different contests. The utmost hormony throughout, and Mr and the two Viss Harrisons were unremitting in their attention to both friends and strangers. About 5 o'clock the finishing repast was dealt out by the ladies (ably assisted by Mr Woolgar, from Auckland) which brought the out-door entertainment to a close. At 7 o'clock a concert was held in the school house clojo by at which all re-assembled aad many others from a distance, who had uot taken any part in the out-door amuse ments. Amongst thu latter was the Rev. Mr Brook, from the Bay of Islands, and the Rev. J. Dellow, from Whangarei, who rode overland to give cclut to the proceedings, and join in the gathering together of so many of their country friends. -The concert was ably presided ovei by Mr McCricken, and nu matter whether in solo or symphony the highly rendering of somo most difficult parts by the ■williijf; amateurs was uniyer sally applauded. The accompaniments on the harmonium were skillfully executed by Sirs Stou«, Boyd, snell, and others. About 10 o'clock the programme was brought to a close by (he whole assembly joini.igin sinking the ever favourite anthem of all ttua Britons. '' God save the Queen." It was plainly viiibla, however, that the young fraternity waa lo«h to ssparato. I ijou't know whether tv« afternoon* kiss in the ring nad made any indsllible imprasson or not (time will tell), but ai tha night was lonely, half-an-hour made little difference^, and by half pa>t ten the courss was cl«ar and' every one west home rejo'cUg. Not so with the ttevds. Brook and Dellow, whose homes had unaccountably got loose, and, were no where to h-i fouad, aad after a fruit less search, they were obliged to set a boat to convey them to Whangam. The next morning (Friday) my companion and myself after partaking of a hearty breakfast, and , being provided with a substantial mid-day: luncb, started on. our way, to explore theij beautiful forest rangtg of Ruarangi, more; particularly allotments 00 and 99; and as we wended our way along we took stock of the different settler'shouseaandcultivations, in the direotion of which we were steering. The first mansion of any pretensions was Mr "Winlle's, to be seen a long way off, on the top of a hill many hundred of f«et above the level of the sea. It looks well in the distance, embosomed,as it appears from the front view, in the midst of some beautiful ornamental trees. Next on on our line of march is Mr Boyd's (late chairman of the Ruarangi Highway Board) whose cultiva tions are very creditable, aad although his broad acres dou't count up so many hundreds as some of bis neighbours, yet his well fenced and well stocked paddocka laid down in the best of English grasses, make ample amends, as one acre is worth five of many of his neighbours. After pasting through the burnt Kauri forest we arrive at Mr Solon's who lately purchased the Ruarangi estate of Bishop Pompallier. We entered the dense bush at thw point, con tinued our journey for four or five miles in as zigzag a fashion as can be easily imagined, over fallen trees, interlaced with supple jacks, cabbage and fern trees, bush lawyers, and all other miserable coceomi tants which so effectually retard the progress of the pedestrian j (I may here remark that the Government, or Road Bowls, of the Districts, in which settlements aie forming, and contiguous to forests through which strangers have occasionally to pass, should cause to be erected at short intervals, finger posts, to guide the weary travellers, as the surveyor's tracks are very often altogether lost sight of) and at length about 4 o'clock got quite clear of the bush, and sat down on a burnt Kauri log to eat our lunch During the time we were partaking of onr refreshments, eight fine young turkeys hove in tight, which buoyed up oar spirits as we then know we were close by to some bush domicile. After continuing our journey along the top of the ridge, on which we were now walking, we came in sight of Mr "Win tie's. My comrade knew perfectly well where we then were and close on our destination, but un fortunately a short time after we came across a part of the recently burnt bush and our way thither as fair as onr eyes could see our path was effectually cut oil, as no track could be found, nothing but ashes, and the smoldering remains of the tall Kanir trees; to continue our journey in the bush any longer, Bimply meant to camp out all night (which I did not feel-inclined to do as raid clouds wore hovering around,

and the wind gave every indication of its noar approach). As tho cloariug we wore now on, was Mr Wintles. we made our way over hill and dale till wo came to bis dwell ing house—but as no one was to bo seen there, wo had to pass on. Another short hour's walk brought us safely back to Mr Harrison s our starting point in tho morn ing, and tea boing now on tho table, without much a do we wore soon mixed up in the family circle—after tea we retired to tho drawing room, to discuss oar exploits of tho day, but any niisadvonturo wast soon cast into oblivion when gazing on the beautiful panorama which now met my view, the gentle slope from the valley in tho noar distance to tho emioenco on which I was now sitting, was very much in appoarance like the graceful curve of a lady's crinoline and surroundod on either side by lofty hills, cloth'od in that verdant hue, the much admired emblem of nature's primeval grandeur. Stretching out further in the vale before me, was to be seen the safe pottage and harbour, and the adjacent estates of Belle Vue, whilst further in the back ground of this beautiful landscape towering almost to an unattainable altitude was the lofty Mania with its ruuged weather beaten peak, frowning majestically on tho placid ripple of tha waters benoath, and tho. horizon Deing illuminated by the bright firo of the provident husbandman! skipping along the surface with such gamboling pranks, that for the time being, I' fclc almost enchanted. The morrow came with a zephyr breeze that proved an inestimable boon throughout the day to us woary pilgrims, who were now homeward bound. Aftor breakfast I bade a kind ndiuu to Mrs and the Misses Harrison. Wo started off at a good pace to walk all the way to Whaujjarei, some twelve or thirteen miles over a black ex pause of country as monotonous as it almost possibly could be. We met hero and there along the way two or three settlers return ing from Whangarei and with whom wo in variably stopped, and had what is com monly called a yarn. As we approached the township, the aspect began to change ; comfortablo houses were now to be soeu, and the town and suburbs gave many in dications ot prosperity. On entering the town we mot Mr C. Tothil going home from his office at Wbangaroi, and being an old Auckland resident for many years I en quired ot him how ho was getting on. lie did not complain much but said if the people would only buy and sell more land he would like it better, and no doubt he would. As the rain which had been threatening for a day or two now began to fall fr«ely, we separated, he for his house in tho country and I to look for lodgings for tho night, These w«e soon obtained as I had almost a presentiment of the asylum sought for. after tea I set out, umbrella in hand, to explore all tbo business parts of the town. Not being lighted with gas 1 did not expect it to look as well as Queen-street, but, still there seemed a good deal of shopping going oa, and as tho Honourable Win. Kolleston, Minister of Lands, and the Honourable John Bryco, Native Minister, had arrived through the course of the day, a goodly number of the inhabitants were moving about, a« if for curiosity sake, to have a look at the redoubtable hero of Parihaka, There were also to bo seen sit tint; and walking about ou the verandah of Clarkslaf's Whangarei Hotel, a number of gentlemen from Auckland, who came down a» a deputation, to meet tho Hon., tho Miaisier of Lands, roapcctlug the better i devclopemont of the coal-fields, but as I had no ax« ts ctrind, or favour* of any kind to a»k, I did not seoJc an interview. Next day, the atmosphere was bright and cheer ful, and as the Argyle waa advarusad to utiitt at 5 o'clock the n«xt tuornin?, I waa still anxious to see more of the country's . surroundings, so I made a start for Kamo to explore the regions of the coal minus, ami for tho whole distauce, about tour mile<, I wo* much plsased to s»o a good metalled road, and houses thickly siudded oil tho w*y. Ou arrival at Kamo, my tnsta for tha beautiful was still more gratified to see the town so neat and clean, After seainjj all the public aad other build ings of any importance about Kamo, I re traced my steps to gat back to Mrs Broad .bent's in good time for ,tliuuer. Discussing the pros and cons of my rambles at the dinner-table, Mr Keid, Contractor and f iinber Merchant, suggested that I should endeavour to go out and see tho Waterfall, Young Master Broadbent volunteeiod to go with me as gnidv, and Miss firaith waite, from Auckland, also accompanied us, Thero was not mnch to bo seen along the road thither except numerous country settlers' houses on either side, surrounded by well anclosed paddocks in a high state ot cultivation. About balf way we passed a br«wery, I believe in full working order, but being Sunday I could not venture in to sample tho brew, a tter walking between four and fivo miles we arrived at our de» tination, and the sight will well repay any visitor to Whaagarel to travel twice the distance We did not remain long on the ground, not that we were by any means wearied of gazing on the gorgeous cataract we were now leaving behind us, but a slight drizzling rain which had now commenced had every indication of a wet night, and although my female companion's dimity waa slightly be draggled, we were thankful that Providence had ttiven us an opportunity of beholding one of the wondrous works of Nature. The rain which had now begun to fall heavily continued incessantly throughout the night, and as morning dawned there was no visible sign of improvement, and as there was no probability of the boat wailing beyond her advertised time, I was obliged to make a start in the face of tho most cold and ptslt ißg rain I had been out inior many a long day. I got my ticket at the station house, and in a few minutes we were at the end of the Railway whaif, where two open boats were in readiness to take the passenger* on board the Argyle. After the passengers with much difficulty had got seated in the boats, a start was made for the Argyle. The poor darkie* tugged at their oars in tho face of a strong head wind for over an. hour before we were transhipped, and as all hands were now thoroughly drenched to the skin, a race was then made to the engine room by those who had not a relay of dry clothing. All being cow on board a Btart was mad c for Anckland.but there was little pro-pect of getting outside the Heads on account ot the storm. Not before four o'clock next morning was the anchor heaved. Not one of the passengers, after an hour's start, was able to leave their beds. At six o'clock coffee was got ready and brought round the saloon, and anyone who felt inclined to drink received a nice hot cup, but it was indeed drinking under diffi culties. '■ Everything looked horrible in the extreme, No attempt was made in tho

usual way to lay the tablet' for cither break fast or dinner as it would havebeetn useless. About two o'clock when oil" tho lighthouse, a move was made by the woary pussengors to scramble out of bed and collect their belongings together, and none were sorry when tho steamer was brought to at tho Queen-street wharf, <

CHOICE EXTRACTS.

Action may not always bring happinoss, but thore is no happiness without action,— Bcaconsjield.

All the scholastic scaffolding tails as a ruined edifice before ouo single word faith,— Napoleon.

What would life bo without hopo—the fresh spring of water bubbling up iv tho dry waste places of the heart.

Pleasure may be aptly compared to many great books, which increase in real value in the proportion thty aro abridged.

Nothing makes tho world seem bo spacious as to have friends at a distauuo ; tboy make the latitudes aud longitudes.— Tlwrcau.

As ceremony ia the invention of wiso inou to keep fools at a distance, to vood breeding ia an expedient to make fools and ufiso men equal, -Steele,

There in never a moment whoa a block head does not deem a wise man. capable of uttering nonsense or of oouimiUiug lolly.— Mario Eschenbach.

It ia beyond comparison a more brilliant height of glory to bo free from disgrace than to bo loaded with applause.— Ecu. S. P. Serron.

The one doctrine in which all religions agree is, that new light is added to the niiud in proportion as ir u«es that which it has.— I?. W. Emerson.

Aa to peoplo saying a few idle words about ua, we must uot mind that, any mor* than tha old church steeple minds the rooks cawing about it.—George Eliot.

Character i» not cut in marble—lt is not something solid and unattainable. It is something living aud changing, and may become- diseased as our bodies do.— Qeorgc Elliot.

Nothing so increases roveionco for others as a great sorrow in one's self. It teAchea one the depths of human nature. In happi ness wo nre shallow and doom oth«rs so.— Charles Burton.

Candour ia tho seal ef a noble mind, the ornament and piide of man, tho sweetest charm of woman, the scorn of rascals, and the richest virtue of sociability.— Bcutzd- Slcranu.

Anyone must bo mainly ignorant or thoughtless who is surprised at everything he sees j or wondorfully coucoited who ox pectg everything to conform to bis standard of propriety.— HuzliiL

We defy augury; there is a spocial pro vidence in tbo fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis lot to coma ; if it be not to coma, it will bo now ; if it be uot nnw, yot it will come: the roadineas is all,— Shakspeare,

Honourable ago is npt that which standeth in longth of tims, nor that which, is measured by number of years, But wu> dorn ia tha gray hair unto men, iuid an uu. spotted life i* old ago.

It is only through tha morning gate of tha beautiful that you can penetrate into tho realai of kaowlodga. That winch we feel here as beauty we aboil know ono day as truth. •

The wurld is a looking-glass, and gives back to every mam the reQeoion of his own faou. Frown at it, aud it will turn and look sourly on yon ; laugh at ii and wiih. it, and it ia a pleasant, kind companion, !

The man who resorts to hard word* in the way ,<>f spite [should bo very careful of two tilings—first, that ho has his temper under control; and, second, that bo will allow no coat cast upon him by way of retort to fit him.

I would urge every young woman to obtain as aoon aa they can, by the severest economy, a restricted, servicable, and: steadily—however slowly—lncreacing s«ridi of booits foruo through Ufa; making her > little library, of all tha furniture iv the room, tne most studied and deooratire peice; evory volume having its atsigoed place, liko a littlu statue in its niche,— li-uskin.

When I consider tbo multitude of aiso ciated forces vrhioh are diffused through nature—when 1 think of tha calm balancing of tbeir energies whioh enable thou moat powerful in themselves, most destructive to the world's creatures and economy, to dwell associated together and be nudd sub servient to the wants of creation, I rise from the contemplation more than ever impressed with the wisdom, and benificauce, aud giandeur, beyond our language to express, of the Great Disposer of all,— Faraeay.

PHIL'S SECRET.

I know a little girl, But I won't toll who; Her hair is of the gold, And her eyes are of tho bluo, Hor smile is of tho sweet, And hor heart is of the true; Such a pretty little sirlt But I won t tell who.

I see her every day,

But I won't toll whore; It may bo in tho lane,

By the thorn-troo there; It may bo in the garden, By tho rosebuds (air; Such a pretty little girl I But I won t toll where.

I'll marry her somo day, But I won't tell when; Tho very smallest boys Make the vory biggest men. Whon I'm ds tall as rather, You may ask about it then; Such a pretty little girl! But I won't toll when,

FRIENDSHIP.

True happiness Onalats not In the multitude or friends. Put In the worth and choloe; nor would I have Virtue a popular regard pursue; liot thorn be good that lore me ihougb but few, Ben Jonbqn,

ODDS AND ENDS.

The poorest borrower can always return 'thanks.

Buglo trimmings aro recommended for a windy day.

The softer your job, tho easier it is to get hard money. The bDzz-saw is no modern invention. Just look at the Venus oi Milo,1

A physician says a man can stop a fit of aneeziug by crawling downstairs head first. Almost anything can be cured that way if the stairs are ateop enough. Paris Husband and Wifs.—He. "Assuredly you were born th marry an idiotl" She: 'sYes, and I made no mistake!" It is not etiquette to tip your soup plate at dinnpr t Tuut it is always iv cider to tip the waiter,

Said, a man who stumbled out of a third storey window, " When I first fell I was coafused, but whon I struck the pavement I, knew where I was.

What is tho diffcrace between a good dog show and a bad one?— When it is a good one the dogs go to the show ? but if a bad one the show goes to the dogs, a skoller once said to uu orthodox divine, "I am not afraid of cour devil, I should like to sco your devil," "Can't you wait," was the oalm rejoinder of the clergyman.

A lady barber is said to have been recently driven out of Dubuque, lowa, by the married ladies of that place. They said, sbo scraped acquaintance too easily. A musical critio in speaking of the performance ola certain celebrated singer, said, "We hung upon every note 1" -a remarkable proof of tho singer's power of execution.

A celebrated physloan says that pressing the upper lip is a prevent!a« of snci/.in^, which perhaps accounts for the hitherto un explainable fact that lovers seldom sneezo when courticg. That was a graphic bit of description by a man, who, looking out upon the country the morning after a snovatorm, said it appeared as if Mature had put ova clean shirt.

An auctioner said of a gentleman who had bought a table, but never came to take it away, that ho was one of tho most un come-for-table persons he kuew iv the whole course of bis life.

Takes a woaian for ingenuity, A Cleveland girl who bad a new bonnet she wanted to show, contrived to got herself called as a witness on acase she knew nothing about, " Come up to the bouse and take a bite with me!', said a wealthy tobbacconist to his partner, "You shall have a quid pro Co." Bis business confidant sat down like a man who is dazed.

The guests have dined and the host hands round a case of cigars. "I dont smoke myself," ho says, ~buc you will iiud them good -my man steal* more of them tbau any brand I ever had."

"Father I Whoa a hen sits on an egg three weeks and it don't hatch, is the egg spoiled ?" "As an article diet tho |eg(j is thenceforward a failure; but aa a species of testimonial i\ is strikingly aromatic and expressive,,

Says Kousscau, speaking of how to write love lettcr-i -.Begin without knowing what you aro going to say, and end without knowing what you have said." It would seem that this advice ia frequently acted on.

Pir.t Friend : " What do you think of XJ' Second Frioud : " Candidly, I dont like him. He has hidden vices," First Frjond : " Ah I what aro they?" Second Friend : " How do I know when they are hidden vices ?"

"Why, I'd like to know," said a lady once to a distinguished judge, "cannot a woman boomt a successful lawyer?' "It simply arises from her invariable habit of giving har opinion without any pay," atmwtrod ihe judge.

During a recent fearful storm in Paris, the electric fluid descended into the ollice of a great financial establishment in that city, but the casbior was not banned, as he had iust started for Belgium with all the available cash of the establishment. .

- A lisping bey was out in the backyard poundiog oa a tinpan. The father came home tired and sullen, and beiug disturbed by thefnoiae, cried out: "What's that turned loose iv tho backyard—a wild animal?" The boy replied :" Yeth, thir; it's a panthir."

" Well, how are you making it now? 1' we asked of a former merchant, who had abandoned a lucrative business to cmba-k in stock speculation. " I think," said he, "if I retain my health for another year, I will be able to retire on a vory handsome incompetenoy."

" You wriie a beautiful hand. I wish I had such a hand," said Mr Flasher to the lady olvrk at the hotel. "Aml to consider this a prop bA ?" asked the bright lady, " Well-er—yes—if my wife i» willing to let mo off," replied tho accomplished Flasher.

Crowds are honest. If you compliment aa individual man to his face, he'll pretend he doesn't like it; but tell an audienco that it it with unspeakable pleasure that you appear before such a fine-looking, intelli gent-looking body of men, and you will be applauded to the echo.

"Ugh!" evclamed Brown, "I beleivo I shall freeze to death ; but I've got to die toinc.'ime," he added, " and I might as well die that way as any other." "Much better," replied Fogg, consolingly; " you'll have an excellent chance to thaw out on tha other side, you know."

A " Green " Tea-drinker. — Lady Bountiful: " What, Patrick -you couldn't drink that beef tea 1 sent 1 What was the matter with it ?" Patrick : "Matther wid it, ypr Ladyship 1 Why even the pig wouldn't touch It, and we bad to throw.it away efter wasthin, good milk and sugar on it," " As for Mri.So-an.d-So," remarks one of the guests in a salon where they were passing their friends under review, "her worst fault is that she is bored wherever she goes." "Her lack of selfishness is a siill greater defect," »ays another, " for she insists on not being the only bored person in the country."

Broker : " What, Herr Hirschgold, you venture to ask to my daughters liaud ? really I dont know -which to admire most— your impudent boldness or your shrewd speculation to get my monoy. However, since a bold impudent man and a shrewd speculator is admirably adapted to—you shall be my son in-law," In a recent debate a member of the Cali fornia Legislature exclaimed, " The honour able gentleman from Calveras couoty is un doubtedly a person of great abilities, a man of talent, a natural-born genius I lint there •is one thing I defy him to do, and that is, ' bito the bottom of a frying-pan without smutting bU nose,' [[

At a meeting in London to receive a re poni from the missionaries sent to discover tho lost tribes of Israel, Lord was asked to take the chair. "I take he replied, "a great interest in your researches, gentleman The fact Is, I have borrowed money from all the Jews now known, and if you can find a new set I shall be much obliged." The following lines are said to have been written by a Saginaw (Mich.) poet, as he was floating down Flint Kiver in a canoe, by moonlight :—

Woti'dt the red Injan h«ia took their delights Flßh't. fit. and bind. Now most of tne inhabitant j is whites. With nary ted.

A man a hundred years old, being par ticular about having his shoes made so sub stantial that they would last well; the shoe maker suggested that a person of his age need not be solicitous about the future, "Why man," said the cheerful centenrian, " I begin my second hundred years a great deal stronger than I did my first,"

An ancient Bohemian, who has come into a snug fortune, is fclicated warmly by an old acquaintance. " yes," says the new Crooks, refleotively, " it is a pleasant thing to have money. And do you know what is most agreeablo about it ? You feel, sir, that you are appreciated—ydu find friends who esteem you for your own qualities alone."

Ask no woman her age. Never joke with a policeman. Do not play chess with a widow, Never contradict a man who stutters, iie civil to rich uncles and aunts. Your oldest hat of course for an evening party. Always sit next the carver, if you can, at dinner. Keep your own secrets. Wind op your conduct like your watch, onco every day, minutely examine whether you are fast or slow. Make friends with tho steward on board a stoamcr, there's no knowing how soon you may bo, ia his power.

The following conversation is reported to have taken place between a minister and a widow-both of Aberdeen. The widow, who called upon the minister, seemed de sirous of relieving her mind of something which oppressed her, at which the reverend gentleman, wishing to hurry matters, ex claimed , " My good woman, you see I can bo of no tervico to you till you tell me what it is that troubles you." " Well, sir, I'm thinkiu' o1 gcttin' married again." "Oh, that is it! Let me sec; that is pretty frequent-surely. How many husbands have you had?" "Well, sir," she replied, in a tone less of sorrow than of bitterness, " this is the fourth; I'm suro there's vac wumnian been sac tormented wi' a set o1 dcoin' men."

A gentleman] was standing (the other evening in one of tho shadnwey arcades of the Coliseum at Kotr.e, when he was some what brusquely hustled by a passing figure- With a quick instinct he clapped his hand to his watchpocket. His watch was gout) 1 He darted utter the thief, who turned sharply round, at the same time clutching a watch. '• Give mo that watch 1" A dash I —the stolen property was tecovercd. The startled robber disappeared, and the gentle man went home to boast of his adAenturb and his prowess. What was his conster nation on entering his bedroom to find his own watch, whicU he hud forgotten to put on, staring him in thu face from the mantel piece 1 Ho had been the thief, and the other wretched man had Btumbltd over him in the dark, and when overtaken and stopped was merely clutching his own watch, which he had not the nerve to rescue from the tourist, 'I he tourist is how known to a wide and admiring circle of friends us tho '' Bandit of tho Coliseum."

The Editor's Dilemma.

"Editiko a paper." declares a trans- Atlantic editor, "is a nice business. If wo publish jokes, people say we are rattle headed. If we omit jokes, they tay we are an old fossil. If we publish original matter, they blame us tor not giviug selections. If we publish selections, folks say we are lazy for not writing something thay have not read in somo other paper. If we give a man a complimentary notice, we arc cen sured for being partial. If we do not idvc complimentary notices, folks say we are a hog. If wu do not cater for the wishes of the ladies, the paper is not tit to tie up a parcel. If we remain in our- oifice and attend to our business folks say we are too proud to mingle with our fellows. If we go out, they say we never attend to our business. If we do not pay our bills promptly, folks say we aro not to be trusted. If we wear poor clothes, folks say business is bad. If we wear good clothes, they say we never paid for them. Now what are wt, to do?"

Who was the Lunatic!

A. government inspector, visitfng a luua tic asylum, saw tho medical superintenpent, and said :—

"Ipon't wish to go over the asylum in tho usnal way, but to mingle with the patient) as If I were an officer, a surgeon, or even one of themselves. By so doing I shall bo better able to judge of their intel lectual state, and of their progress in the diroction of sanity-" •' With pleasure," said the doctor ; " it is Saturday, and we usually have a dance on Saturday nißht. if you will go into the ball room, as we call it, you will see them dancing and talking without reserve." " Would it be objectionable if I danced with them ?'' asked the official,

" Not at all," was the reply. The official w3lked into the ballroom, and seleoting the prettiest g rl he saw for a partner, was soon keeping up a very ani> mated conversation with her.

In the course of the evening he said to the doctor:

" Do you know, that girl in tho white dress with blue spots is a very curious case. I've been talking to her, and I cannot tor the life amd soul of me.discover in which direction her mental malady lies, Of course, saw at once she was mad—saw it iv the odd look of her eyes. She kept looking at me so oddly. I asked her did not she was the Qneeu of Kngland, or whether she had uot been robbed of a large fortune by the volunteer movement, or jilted by the Pirnco of Wales, end tried to find out the case of her lunacy, but I coulbn't; she was too artful."

"Very like," answered the doctor, "you Bee, she is not a patient, sheis one of the housemaids, and as sane as you ate."

Meantime, the pretty housemaid went to ail her fellow-servants and said :

"Have you seen the new patient? He's been dancing with me. A fine tall man, and beautiful whiskers! bat as mad as a march hare. He asked me if I wasn't the Queen of Kngiand; if a volunteer hadn't robbed me of ,a large fortune ; and whether th Pprince of Wales didn't want to marry me. He {s mad. Isn't it.a pity 1 Such a ftno young man,!!!



TTITCHENS'S BLOOD RESTOJBEK. FOX CLEANSING, PURIFYING, AMD INVIGORATING THE Bbi-OD. Seven Years' Test ia Auckland. rTIIIISMedicwe differs from ordinary pro _L prietury preparations, inasmuch as it was the product of years of study and investigation by an eminent physician of the Army Medical Staff, with whom'Mr Hitcheos served during the New Zealand War, as Assistant Dispenser to the Im perial Forces, <Jn its introduction to the public as a specific for .the cure of Rheumatism, Rheumatic uout, Scrofula, Skin Diseases, Blood Impurities, and General Debility, it. quickly attained great celebrity, and soon was sought after from every part of New Zealand, Its curative and depurative properties have been fully testified by the numerous testimonials received by the proprietor from patients who had long suffered from the above distressing maladies, who had ap plied in vain to physicians for relief, and in whose cases, Turkish Baths, Hot Springs, and otber popular remedies had been, re sorted to without effect. This celebrated medicine ia compounded from products of the vegetable kingdom, is palatable and easily taken, mild, but effec tual, in its action upon the animal econ omy. It is, ia sooth, a veritable BLOOD Kestorke. cleansing it, and thereby restor ing diminished vitality. It presents, un questionably, a purer, safer, better, and more reliable alterative medicine than any that has hitheito been available to the people. MURB TESTIMONY! ■- ' SURPRISING CURB To those who know what H itchens' Blood Restorer HAS DONB. In the Auckland Evening Stak of the 27th April last, appeared the following local, which explains itself :— The brig Bella Mary, from Melbourne in ballast, bound for Kaipara, put into har bour yesterday morning to obtain medical aid for Captain Owens, master of the vessel, who has been very unwell during the latter part of the voyage. Captain Owens, who has followed the seafaring profession ' jfor many years, and had never until leaving Melbourne on April 10th last, suffered from illness of any severe nature, was suddenly seized on that date with violent pains ia the back. Since then 'he has been swung up in a hatnmcclc in the cabin quite helpless. The vessel was off Kaipara at noon on Thursday last, but the weather being thick and fcggy,' it was deemed advisable to come on to Auck land for medical assistance. The barque arrived early yesterday morning, andDr Moore having been sent for, visited Capt. Owens, and gave instructions to the mate of the vessel regarding treatment; The invalid is suffering from a species 'of iheumatism of a severe nature, and the doctor considers it advisable to effect a partial recovery before attempting the re moval of his patient to more suitable quarters on shore. Capt. Owtug ia well known in Auckland, and many residents will be sorry to learn of his affliction." '■'', ' Referring to above, Captain. Owen has this day (Ist December), stated; "After being treated for about five weeks by two medical men successively,' with very little alteration in my condition, except that the pain in my hands and back was made somewhat easier through the effect of th« galvanic battery, I felt a gradual sinking that told me the dread end was not far off, and one of my visiting friends suggested that I should try what Kitchen's Blood Restorer would do, as it was being so talked about far and wide. Without much faith in it, I consented to try it, but did not notice any good effect until I had taken about the third or fourth bsttlo. when my appetite decidedly quickened, and I felt th*t my strength was coming back to me. I then ceased to take the medicine, and allowed nature to take its course, bat finding my appetite going, I stimulated "it by small doses of the Restorer, -using no other medicine; bnt applying the ointment freely. By degrees my whole system seemed ! tp be invigorated; and now, after a treatment of six months, I am able to re sume charge of my vessel, and •am only waiting ber arrival in pore to do fo. I can easily walk four miles a day without the slightest inconvenience. I consider my friend's suggestion saved my life, and that it is a duty that I should publicly testify to the extraordinary power of Bitchens's Blood Restorer over the severest cases of rheumat ism." "'• - . ' i W. M. OWEN. The agents will be happy to shew original manuscripts of ■ the reveral pub lished testimonials anent the Remedy, with scores of others not vet published. ' ; >- L. D. n aTBAN & Co. ' V*7E HAVE, TUtS CELEBRATED and favourite brand •; BASS'S ALE & GUTNNESS'S STOOT Always in Stock. L. D. NATHAN & CO. '"|t , E~ A S. We have a largo and well-assorted Btocfc, i! <■ > consisting of: ■ ■ •■: ; ' ■■'.:> UUOICiS MEDIUM AftD LOW.. CONGOUS. ' ,i CHOICE AJEDIOM AND LOW hi KAISONS. i.'r . CHOICEST MANDARIN SCENTED ORANUB PEKOES;: MEDIUM MANDARIN SCENTED ORANGE PEKOES. ASSAM PEKOES AND PEKOE .:» SO CH'UNGS. .'■-•:• DARJEELING PEKOBS AND PEKOE S 'UCHONGS. ■■>.■, CACJUAR PEKO S AOD PiSKOE - SOUCHOaGS. and , •■ • ;:.' OUR WELL-KNOWN "COLONIAL.. MIXT' RK," ~,.,!.,. r A rich blend of India and China iTeas, packed inGftandlitbtuisr 'Wl*