STAR SATURDAY SUPPLEMENT.

AUCKLAND, N.Z., SATURDAY, JUNE 16, 1883.

RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiel.]

xi«<ia write a neighbour's natno to lash, o£sb wriw-vain thought !-for needful cash, -sow » rßlae a am. 9m me.' 80 aim I never fash yornw.n» i \yrito for fnn.

AS s set-off agaiast the many signs of -abounding rascality, it may, perhaps, be accepted as a redeeming feature that human innocence and gullibility have not dis appeared from the earth. In nothing can tie people be taken in more easily than by ■ffiles of medical quackery. From cream of 'tartar, which by clever advertising is palmed ■off at extortionate prices as a new and tonderful remedy, to the trashy mixture ot -the itinerant Bhowman, who knows as much about anatomy or chemistry as he knows ■rf honesty, there is always a good harvest •totoe reaped in this curious field of industry. Any cleverly puffed novelty is a safe draw. It m»y app^r unkind to pas< from such in introduction- to our last medical sensation, Mrs Df> l'ottß' because that worthy lady «T»ve undoubted evidence that sha had en inrad » sound medical training, and Tmjaewed special aptitude to profit by it. Savertheless, the tbrong at her so-called "ELgoasultations/'and the extravagant nricM paid 'or ncr treatment, none the leas moire that novelty and clever advertising •La as potent in medicine as in SSltoery. I am told ol one y°UDS JJjy w ho went to consult her for Juraralris, and who was politely requested tat»bl«£Bbeforehand. The sum being forth- Mtoine the doctreßS put her under nitrous ndtemiand extracted two teeth,remarkin-tf, hoMTer. that this was preparatory to treat ment Presuming the teeth to have boen i nose of irritation, the "preparatory" nnforinanee is so well calculated to ame- Horat* the malady that the patient will undoubtedly feel considerable relief. But srl hw i let a local dentist perform the mine operation, the result would have been jL^Jy the same, physically, while the loltwraldhave been just 123 6d, instead of £8 The medical remedies for neuralgia are also not a sealed book to the local awdieal profession, and their charges are a trifla duTMent. Another patient, suffering from deafness, paid his £8 and submitted tn treatment on the vagne assurance of the LitrtM that she oould not guarantee a Buttbot" would do her best." Now, admit «ne that the lady has had an ordinary medical training ia an American college, and is capable of displaying her knowledge by meat gtibness of tongue, what reason have we to believe that she possesses either in diplomas or experience the qualifications of msny of onr leading practitioners t And i| the sneeeeded in establishing her title te tot&i fen't it absurd to suppose that chronic oteiodßld be successfully treated even by jha greatest physician in the world during the twelve days which elapsed between the d»teof Dr. Fotta's first leotare and her de- Mrture from Auckland I And yet men and . W omei thronged her consultation roams in crowds, paying her down ia a lump sum more money than they would think of (firing a regular practitioner in ten years. XXX So we nave had another proof that Custom is stronger than Public Opinion, lid Common Sense, and Public Interest combined, and still • ■ lies upon us, with a weight . Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life. The Coatley properties are to be sold, not because it is prudent, profitable, or ex pedient to do so, bnt because the hard and tut line of legal procedure says it must be go, In other, words we mike unto our leirei a graven image (a wooden enough thinj, too, in all conscience), call it Rule or Custom, and then bow down unto it and wonhipit, sacrificing to it onr Reason, our sense of fitness, and our economic instincts. And) of bonne, all the canning craftsmen who thrive through the worship of this graves Image, aid who Baw that "their craft was in danger" from the flood of popular opinion, rejoice exceedingly that the old and respectable idol still stands on its pedestal. " Legal Opinion " li.ii spoken, and Public Opinion must bow in silence, albeit tneee valuable properties arc thrust in a lamp upon a falling market, with a prospect of realising no more than half their real value.

X XX" During the past week a cluster of three parsons, styling themselves the " American Bvangeliats," nave been holding forth at teveral places of worship, and, in some instances, theyhava succeeded iv attract. ing enthusiastic and foil audiences, The novelty of the announcement induced me to attend one or two ot their meetings, not ■with tha remotest idea of being converted, ' bit fur the simple purpose of listening to ytfoA these simple-minded pietists might si;,. The place was crowded, and the prin ' cipjl speaker, an elderly lady, on the down hill side of three-score years, intimated at I the outset that Bhe and her fellow travellers, in obedience to a sacred call or sense of couscious duty, had quitted the shores of the Pilgrim Fathers ostensibly with the view of assisting in the evangelisation of the world. This amiable, proselytising trio, witfc bat one mission, having nothing in the way of eloquence or personal ap pearance to recommend them, rely upon their "message" for acceptance. xxx lie women are a kind of Saakoy and Htwdy,oneungs and the other prays; and oc casionally their male companion delivers an aidress. The elderly lady, wno is some twenty years older than her female singing Mend, usually takea the lead at the meet mas, and talks, or preaches, with remark able rapidity, scarcely allowing herself time Mvcloso a sentence effectively. She freely dealt in monosyllables and plain 'J0fl»( and only foolish and unreflec \m people wonld blame Mrs Phelpa iKi her manner of speech. In aim- Plidty ol expression may often be found the 1 Merit of true dignity and real eloquence : pw plain words, if to the point, are the - Wit and gure&t way of gaining the ears of a GMirragation. But plain words must be as sociated with a freshness of thought and jmd illustration, or the speaker trill fail general interest. Compare we soporific phrases in use among ordinary .»? preachers, with any chapter of the «We, or some of the Psalms, .and how Pleasant is the change, A verse, sparkling Win poetic beauty and sublimity of wonght amid the dry, unattractive VBroiase of the oelf-eonfident preacher, is ju» an oasis in the desert. Mrs Phelps's i tOPDiOBt talent appeared to he the gift of going oa. Bhe baa nothing new to com fflnmcateto hearers, nothing startling, be- W«Uhe ordinary talk of the pretentious

Methodist preacher of an English or Scottish village ere the days of church organs. I hear, however, that these good people are doing good work in New Zeaiaud districts, consequently every well-meaning person must wish the American evangelists God-spe<-d, I must say, however, that if not convinced of the truth of the message, l was favourably impressed hy the good uatured face of the chief lady teacher, who looked like one of those Mew England wives, who are more at home: at the head of the tea table, or in darning stocking**, than in preaching unimpressively the Gospel of good news to impenitent colonial sinners.

What has come over the Auckland Spiritualists, that no one over hears of their doings ? Have they succumbed to the downward tendencies of this material istic age, and given up the battle against the Evil Trinity -the world, the flesh, aud the — well, the Old Gentleman ? And if so, what of the doctrine of the Survival of the Fittest? Since the depar ture of the scientific Dcnton from our midit, do voice has been raised on behalf of the realities of the Unseen World ; and it spiritual truth is being pursued at all, those outside of the "inner circle" are deriving no benchI*. I did hear, during the Priestley-Hamilton trial, that certain " mediums " were conducting special in vestigations with a view to solving the mystery surrounding that case ; and if our criminal prooedire had only allowed of the production of "spirits" in evidence, some startling revelations would baVe been made. The testimony of the " unseen witnesses " went plainly to show that poor Hamilton met bis dsath by two violent blows with a lethal weapon; and so strong was the "impression" of the mode of his despatch that the "medium'1 fell heavily to the ground, and came very near re-enacting in bis own person the details of the tragedy. However, as " spirits" (other than ardent spirits) have no legal status, they were not allowed to cast a supernatural light on the mys tery which promises to remain unfathomed on earth, and thus farnieh another argu ment for the necessity of an after exist ence. In contradistinction to the apathetic Aucklanders, I see that a Thames Spirit ualist has been publishing his experiences, and spreading tho news of a fortune promised to him by his " familiar spirit." For my part, I should much prefer a lawyer's letter in a oasa of that kind, and I cannot help fancying that this ghostly fortune will turn «ut " not worth a rap"—as fleeting as the unsubstantial fabric of a vision. lam rather curious to know if the heir to this promise has made any attempt to raise a loan on the strength of his "revelation," and how it is quoted in the aharemarket of Quartz opolis.

Some of the ladies who attended Mrs Potts's first lecture went away in a state of high dudgeon. The lecture was announced to be given " free," and many ladies went without thtir purses. At the close of the address, however, the lectures' requested her fair aadience to keep their seats, and an attendant would go roand with tickets for tbe course. She atae walked down and took her stand near the place of exit. Several ladies, who had either come with out the requisite cash, or who had no desire to hear any mere lectures, rone and essayed to leave the ball, when Mrs Potts exclaimed ia a tone that could bo heard a considerable distance off, " Now, I call that mean." The ladies who were moving out felt the indignity keenly, while no doubt some who had no wish for season tickets kept their seats rather than be exposed to the humilia tion of ouch an epithet applied in a public hall. The remark was one that would hardly have been made by any vulgar mountebank to au audience of ladies who bad assembled on his invitation to a free entertainment.

A gentleman who has mixed with good society in many cliraos was asked the other day his opinion of the Auckland girls. His response was not flattering. " They are," he said, " the rodent set I hays ever met." The verdict is rather too harsh, bised, perhaps, on an unfortunate experi ence, hut oeing a dispassionate one, it can not be without some tub-stratum of truth. The fact is, yonng ladies too often forget that in administering a snub, or offensively f' cutting " a person who may not be alto gether agreeable to them, they are exposing their own bad manners. The very essence of all good breeding is respect for the feel ings of others; and girls who violate this excellent maxim by an exhibition of resent ment, forfeit their own claims to the good opinions of persons of culture, An ill nntnred slight damages not the person upon whom it has been placed, bnt the person whose essential vulgarity has been betrayed in a gross breach of the first principles of politeness. There are a good many men as well as women who would be improved by taking this lesson to heart,

Over a dlning-table at one of the restaur ants the other day, a discussion took place on the characters of our public men, and one of the talkers laid it down as his opinion that the private life of distinguished citizens and statesmen did not concern the public; that If onr rulers, as such, performed their duties in a fairly honourable and up. right manner, then there was no more, to be said, and what they did "after hours," go to speak, was not to be enquired i a to. Such was the convictionexpressed, and Ihare no doubt it is shared by a large number of people. But it seems to me to be open to serious exception. It will not bear analysis. Of coarse, it is an easily-fitting opinion, which staves off awkward considerations some* times. When one is told that Mr So-and- So, the M.H.8., is immoral, dissolute, and drunken in his private life, that for him the seventh commandment has no exis tence, that he defrauds by sharp (though not possibly illegal) practice, it is very con venient to remark that "we must not go behind the scenes; he makes a very good member, as good as the average; and what he does at home is his own business." It is his own concern certainly, but is it no one else's ? If my grocer or my baker leads an immoral life, though he may supply ex cellent commodities, I have a nuturai fear, that his want of respect for morality will follow him from the hotel bar into his shop and counting-house. You cannot separate a man's life into public, and ptivate any more than you can make him somebody else. His identity and lite are one and the sam». He does not assnme by an act of volition another nature when he gets be hind his counter, or takes his seat in the House of Kepresentatives. "What he is in the public-house parlour, the Club-room, or at the gaming-table over night, that he will be next day. If he takes more liquor than is goad for him, or cheats at cards, ne in more

than likely <o be looso in other matters, and dishonest in his business and public deal ings. A lax morality will not characterise oue-half of his waking hours, and not the other half. This seems to me so clear that any further insistence on it appears like slaying the slain.

But reduce the proposition to an absur dity thus :— Imugine, eimply imagine, dbsit omen, that all our legislators lived uncleanly lives, such as would not endure the light of thenun, wuuM any citizen be found who would expect good government, honest and just legislation, from so base a crew? To look for beneficial results from such un wholesome causua would j mark the mad man surely. We, tho ruled, should very speedily set about offectiug a reformation, and replacing the dissolute and immoral M.ti.K.'s witfi be'ter men, with men who, to all outward seeming (and deeper than that of course ljve cannot go) respected tho moral law. Wo should not endure one. single hour longer than was necessary so hideous and tyrannical a burden. Private actions in public men would be scrutinized then with aiarked results. And what is applicable to oar rulois as a body, is, I sub mit, applicable to them individually.

There never, surely, was a happier illus tration of the power of good example than was supplied by the communication which Mr J. C. Firth made to the Hospital Board on Tuesduy. The Coitley bequest was under consideration, and the mum tiers of the Board were in thit happy frame of mind which all legatees experience, when Mr Firth added to their joy by revealing (yet " withnut any breach of confidence') that a gentleman of Auckland had made his will, bequeathing to the city a sum even larger than the Costley fortune represent". Since then, the quentiou on every lip has been— "Who U the ceneroao-mindea' donor?1' No answer to this being forth coming, other qnoations suggest themselves, such as•: Wh»t is Mr Firth's source of in formation ? Does he only know a fellow, who knows another fellow, who has dealings with a lawyer who knows another lawyer, &o? Is Mr Firth a trustee under this tantalising will? Or has he even v. closer con nection with it? While I await a reply to these questions, let me for a moment moralise on the incident, and offer a hint for what it is worih. First let me give a due word of praise to plain old Mr Costley, whose munificent bequest has possibly inspired this other benefactor to emulate his good deed. Then let me thank, in anticipation, the unknown donor of this second princely gift to the citizens of Auck land. Whoever he may be, and whether or not his resolution is due to Cosiley's ex ample, his name deserves to live in the hearts of the people to be benclitted by bis generosity. + + + But why should not his uame live on our lips now ? And why should not he have the gratification of observing and being cbeered by i lie gratitude and admiration of his fellow-citizens and tbe colony at large 7 He is possibly, impelled by modesty to maintain bis incognito; bat though he may prefer to hid* bis'jh^ht under a bushel, while so nobTiCdevoting his "talent" to tbe best use, why Should he deny the public the pleasure of knowing and acknowledging their benefactor ? It will be a small com fort to the people to have the privilege of monrniaß over his tomb, or placing his bust in some public place, when they think how they were debarred from knowing one whom they would bave delighted to honour in life, and whose death they (unlike some private legatee?) would never wish to hasten. Nor would any ooc accuse him of a love of ostentation. When James B.drd, the bluff Scottish " iron lord," gave in bis lifetime £500,000 to the Church of Scotland, no one tried to depreciate his action on such a score; but on the other hand alt classes were loud in their praise ot his celf-denial and devotion, in relinquishing freely a large portion of his wealth, and not waiting till tho grim King of Terrors frightened it out of his grasp. Counot some more of our Auckland Croesuses "go and do likewise," and thus not only "learn tho luxury of doing good," but enjoy the greater luxury of beholding some of the fruits of their benevolence ? xxx Those who inhabit the breezy slopes of tho marine i üburb .vre greatly troubled in ■spirit over the respective merits of "old blood and "now blood," the eluoidstim of which problem may prove an interesting occupation for some casuist in a laudable desire to lift a halo of mystery from the minds of the bereaved. The ratepayers of Devonport have been "iinrnd" with "blood" for two years' nu .i g, and are naturally much concerned on the (•'•Viject, which arose thuswise. At the tljction of Highway Board members held last year, there was a tie between two candidates for the ninth place on tbe list, and tbe chairman gave his casting vote in favour of a gentleman whom he spoke of as "new blood." The gentleman of this " fresh Bangulnary " char acter served on tho Board for 12 months, and last week he again appeared in the list of candidates, and, when the result of the poll was announced he bad again, unfortunately, fallen into another "tie" for last place. Now, observe the virtue of blood. The chairman had a very un pleasaut duty to perform, and so he struggled with it for some time, but eventu ally announced that Mr W—, betng " old blood," would have his casting vote, and so, for two years, the same gentleman got ia on the chairman's casting vote, fir.it as "new blood," and recently as old blood. Which, my readers, is the bast ? xxx The Salvationists have been victimised, and by no less a personage than the captain of tho opposition organization, known as the Skeleton Army. It happened thus wise. The youthful frequenter of the "ways that are dark," and adept in "the tricks that are vain," was present at a recent hallelujah service, where ho was told that none but tfibsa truly converted could bear testimony after the approved fashion. The "skeleton" youth aud his comrades doubted, and the former was appointed to test the truth of the assertion. Next evening found him on the platform, reviling his former comrades, and claiming to be B true Salvation soldier. Nor did ha stop here. Ho calmly admitted that ho had been the moving Hpirit in the forma tion of a Skeleton Army, but that he had now finally renounced his evil ways. Great were the rejoiciuijs in the camp of tho faithful, and wonderful was the congratu latory paragraph supplied by the special correspondent of the Army staff to your morning contemporary, and published by it. But the supposed conversion was a complete hoax. Next evening found the original youth back in his old haunts, boasting that it was possible to testify

without being saved. Xh« Army oilic rs have since attempted his conversion, but liiivo given him up as a " hard case."

And so the Harbour B)ard, nautical only in name, considers that C iptain Wilson was to blame in coming into har hour without a pilot. This astonishing decision has been arrived at after hearing the explanation of the pilot, and it de serves to bo placed on everlasting record. An English ship arrives ia the offing m the midst of a terrible gale, signals vainly for hours in the hope of getting a pilot, actually runs Ofer one of the baoys in the channel, and eventually manages to get to a safe anchorage inside the harbour. And our wonderfully wise fclarbour Board actually has the coolness to suggest that the master should have waited through that howling gale for the light of the next day. Perhaps they thought he should have hove the vessel to in a comparatively narrow channel, and run the risk of drifting on to the reef during the night, or probably they would have been pleased if he had anchored in tuo fairway to the harbour, swinging on to a rock, or found himself run down by an incoming stoamer in the darkness. Tim latter catastrophe would have been quite possible, if I am to believe the statement of the pilot that he could not even see Tiritiri light at a short distance. As a matter of fact, the entrance to our harbour is anything but dangerous, but to a leas skilful seaman or one altogether unacquain ted with the port', the task of bringing bis vessel in during a living gale would nave been anything but pleasant. In this instance, the captain possibly saved his vessel by his own jndgment, and the Board screens the inefficiency or neglect of its own officials by snubbing him.

A leader of the Salvation Ann v has been in the toils of the Philistines. They have successfully .played upon him a cruel practical joke, and made him undergo un merciful penance for his enthusiasm in the pursuit of saving souls. It appears that this sorely-tried champion of tbe newest crusade boards at a private estab lishment greatly frequented by young men of loose habits and sinful dispositions, to whom he had made himself obnoxious by efforts at conversion, Ho has prayed for them, both publicly and privately ; talked with them earnestly and vigorously, aud saog at them on Sundays with the vehe mence of despair. In this vocalistic exer cise he was animated principally by a desire to pat a stop to conversation which he considered indelicate and frivolous, but the performance was never appreciated. The young man was too athletic to warrant a recourse to active hostilities, and his voice was of sufficient fog-horn power to effectually accomplish his object. Perforce the Sunday assemblies of the young men in the common room were dominated by the voice of the Salvationist, aided by the strains of a harmonium that ho mono-' poliaed on those occasions. + + + Revenge was determined on, and at several secret conclaves its mode and the occasion were arranged. Karly one even ing, quite recently, a band of the conspi rators made their way on tiptoe into the bedroom of the apostle of blood and fire, armed with a mouse-trap, a needle, and a reel of cotton, They produced a lively and fall-grown mouse Irom the trat>, and, having threaded the needle, one of tbe number proceeded to sew its tail securely to the inside of the sheet on the bed, while the others assisted. Having completed the operation, they replaced the coverings and retired to report progress, XXX That night a Salvationist service was being held in one of the suburb?, and our zealous friend did not get home until a late hour. Singularly enough he fonnd mine qi his fellow-lodgers alout, and there fore he retired at once to roost. Had he paused to search the corridor upon which hU room opened he might have lighted upon a few recumbent figures calculated to rouse sus picion, but his mind was engrossed with aupernil thing*, and henco he saw nothing After the lapie of a few minutes, the creak ing of the bed proclaimed that Its oconpant was entering into po«xe9sion, Then ensued a period of perfect stillness which, at length, was abruptly broken by n blood-curdling yell that i-ozn the marrow In the bones of the conspirators, and sent them helter-skel ter to their worm The landlady was aroused and demanded an explanation, which was disingenuously glven'her by a mendacious boarder, and she retired rant 'tering threats against "the mad-brained H'Anny man." x \ x Meanwhile, the victim of tho trick, after fossicking about and under the bed with out discovering anything, and feeling the air to be extremely cold, had con cluded to get between the sheets again. ' He mutt have had time to git into a plea-! naut doze—for the Jokers say they were nearly benumbed with cold in waiting— when the stillness of the night was again broken in upon by a series of whoops which would have appalled even a Red Indian. ' This time the whole house answered the summon?, and casting cere mony to the winds, flocked en masse into tho bedroom of tbe hapless boarder, He was fonnd on tbe centre of the floor, quak ing with fear, and evidently fluttering pain, On being questioned he said that he had been bitten by a cat, or a dog, or attacked in some other way that he could not explain. A diligent search followed, and was re warded by the discovery of the ridiculns mus struggling to get free. The officer of the army, of course, had to endure the laughter of all tbe company, and it had such an effect upon him that he save notice first thing ia the morning. The other boarders claim a triumph, and now recite the dotails of the conspiracy with the greatest gusto.

Irresolution.

Irresolution is a fatal habit; it ia not vicious in itself, but it leads to vice, creeping upon its victims with a fatal facility, the penalty of which many a fine heart has paid on tbe scaffold, Tho idler, the spendthrift, the epicure, and the drunkard are among it« victims. Perhaps in the latter its effect appears in the most hideous form. Ho knows that the goblet ha is about to drain is poisou, yet he swal lows it. He knows—for the example of thousands has painted it in glaring colours —that it will deaden all his (acuities, take the strength from his heart, oppress him with disease, and hurry his progress to a dishonoured grave ; yet ho drains it. How beautiful, on the contrary, is the power ot resolution, enabling the one who possesses it to pass through perils and dangers trials and temptations ! Avoid the contraction ot tbe habit of irresolution. Strive against it to tbe end.

THE "SERVANTGAL" DIFFICULTY.

Ghosts to the Rescue,

Spiritualism at last promises to give us something useful. It is reported that a Tennessee ghost comes to a house in Hamilton county, and rooks the baby to sleep every night. Now, then (cays a local paper), by all the dwellers in '.* the nether gloom," if there is a recklesn ghost of any old ancestor of ours would lika to find steady employment at good wages in a quiet family and gnod neighbourhood, we can give the perturbed spidt all it wants to do in the sileat line of general housework, with Sunday afternoon for itself, and one night out every week, when it could go around and laise a ghostly racket with the neighbours, and haunt all the- lonely houses in the neighbourhood. What a gem of a house servant a ghost would be. Never " sass " back; al ways invisible. Jho pie would come on the table as though it were silling through the nir ; the carpet sweeper would perform its noiseless functions without tbe howling accompaniment of " Gnah-na-guah-na-tha wall —that wur the place whayre tho whisky is plentby—whack I fol dhc-rol-10l 1" And nt night it couM haunt nil the objectionable neighbours until they fl A the neighbour hood, and property would depreciate Hoventy- live per cent., wueu wo could buy it in and whack up with the ghost. No light and no fins required for the ghost's room. No private watchman wanted on the block ; no dog on the premises. Whgn a burglar climbed in at the window and felt tho cold, clammy fingers of the ghost wig gling down the back of his neck j when he drove a ten-inch howie knife clt-an through the ghost's bosom five times, and the spectra smiled sadly a^liim and sbowt-d him where his throat had "c^n cut clear off vine years before, how the robber woulJ dmx> his kit and winy hi<3 restless flight to realms beyond tho farther lrUvito of the city corporate. And when the door bell rang, tho ghost oould just "fouk its head clear through th" kcy--uolo and see who wan there before flio'uo * was opened. And there would be no swoatiio irts louflng about tho kitchen Sunday nights, ah no. Truly, a pho«t would be a great boon to the home, and if any ot our readers knows of a ghost out of a job, scud him at once to this office.

Legal Advice Gratis.

"I WANT to know if there is any law in this country for poor folks ?" bt-gan a woman as she stopped a polio nun on tbe street in an American town duriug tho cold winter weather. "There ought to he, I suppose," he replied, in a doubting way. " What is your caao ?" "Well, the other night, I waa going home, and in front ot a vacant lot owned by a rich man, I fell down ami almost killed myself. I want to make him pay damages, but all my neighbours s>y t can't do it. isn't there a stringent law about ico on the side-walks ! " "Yes'm. In caso you are a poor man you must clean it off. In case you are rich you can wait for a thaw." " But would you begin suit ?" " I'll leave that to y»u. in tka first place, the defendaut will claim that you were drunk: when you fell." "My stars ! but I never touch a drop." "Mo matter ; then he will claim that he hiics a man by the year to keep the walk clear." " Yes, but it wasn't clear." " Of course not, but he'll prove that the 1 man died suddenly, anil he didn't know it. Have you a weak ankle! " "Mercy, not" " Well, he'll prove that you have, or yon wouldn't hiive fallen, Aod then does he own the lot?" 11 Why 1 suppose so." "Your supposing *o may he all wrong. Begin a suit, an I you may find that his wife has a deed. Sue tho wile, and you'll find she h;n gone to Florida to spend the winter, leaving the care of the L»t to a man who was called to Chicago to see his brother din just at tho time ho should have been suiting that sidewalk '' "Then I have no remedy ?" "It is a doubtful one No one even saw you fall. Tho jury would only have your word for it, and the pkin'ifF .night even prove that you were a chronic liar." "Dear, dear me !" she gasped, as she picked up her basket; "wh a a lucky thing for me that 1 met you ? I shall look upon this as one of the moat miraculous eecapoa of my whole life Slurs und garters j but how could I huva been bo foolish as to think of a lawsuit!'

The Curate's Kiss.

Instantaneous photograuhy promises to rtvolutiooise the art of cutchiuf; a husband, and to throw a lurid ii<>ht over the records of breach of promise autions. A correspon dent of the "Tiiua" relates a romantic incident which has .recently occurred in a prosperous London uuburb. a devoted young High Cnurch curate of interesting appearance and great popularity in his district was waited upon by a young lady of considerable ajtractious, but with an air of deep melancholy, and clad in a somewhat ascetic garb. After some contusion and tho shedding of a tear, she revealed to him that she had ventured to visit him on a matter deeply affectiog her happiness, *he feared her life. The matter, however, was one of Mich deep importance that she could not im part it oxcoßt at her own nboite, where she adjured him as her spiritual friend to visit her. The reverend gentleman promised to do so, and the next day he called at tho address given him. I'hen the yonng lady revealed to him the fatnl secret. She had conceived a deep, n passionate love for the curate himself. Sli« knew, she said, that her passion was hopeless; he, in his devotion to tho Church, for which she loved him all the more, had vowed himself t<> a life of celibacy, and she would resignedly carry her attachment to the grave, Which she felt was not far off. But there waa oiie kindness which it was in his power to grant her, the remembrance of which would h ing consola tion to her dark and weary p-th. Would ho befoi-8 they parted for ever, give her one kiss? Aftersome timidity and agitation the young curftto, touched »iih pity, complied. The lady plied anothei t>Mr, h ,d>- him adieu iv a hollov. voice, und lie departed, A few days afterwardi ho receivc'4 a neat little parcel cracefully tied with ;i ptqce of blue ribbon, and on opening it found an instan taneous photograph (cabinet size) of him self kissios; theyounß laity. Accompanying this whs a conmmnication ff.'in the fair creature herself that there were eleven tooro copies, and that he might have tho whole dozen at £20 a piece. .Negotiations on the subject are said to be proceeding.