CHOICE EXTRACTS.

,„,.« of means is in f,c the feeble sEft employ them. .kes 0 8 content with our position 1 Lire money its owa sake, and in J^C'd it up, is avarice. '„« beat way oflvengmg thy.olt la not 1 tate ifc ■" —Shakapeare. power itself hath not one half the * ,hirf eW °r man d? M Dot con- sist .^ffauing. but in arising every lime lelilh ii t« ia hieher than intellect. A l>#l"bS?tKmgtollve«wdl« . mi fret and fume at th* patty ills .he wheels that go JjSttUr^ingJast longe ß t. _v,. w in live above his p-e*ent *^$tap«t danger of ifvlag in - fc.:, false to present duty breaks a /Vinthefi'.a'.d will find the flaw ftfe may h»veWteni, S cause. KKOWtBDOBOF MEN. „ nil /»« ■>•»« Wh6 Wh° to°'M th6m •JtoVrboslioai *em may not hooo tQ know lien. ' ; % hieh«t point outward things can uToitoll *c contentmea'- of the mmd ; ffsw*«*we o.a be poor without JJti"di'esttHea would-be miserable. fluktehwt education is that wh; ch not Sda« food f°r tbe pupil'= memory, ? J. P«Hnin« for W" judgment, discipline i!hi. »ff«c ions. Ruidanca for his conduot, ißtctjccte fyr his t»ita^ Hitisfoolfatito gi»e advice tooi-adily, .'"toHihW.be rearfy w see king it j i« shottH only be asked from ifiose itafooioiou' »c value, and by whose JtSSU«l«»£_to be gained. Ji, infinity of God is not mysterious • it to darkn«*fl of the pure, unsearchable 0 Thou who art never defiledwith sin «.tain tMCh me not so soon to be weary dorta to be pure, bat to go on ceaselessly SbK virtue to virtue and goodness to Let aman havefervent love for what is •n and lustand honourable; let him have cordial abhorrence of what is sensual, mo, tricky »nd ungenerous, and he will stgo far from wionj;.— & '^ Dale, , . .PATBSCB. (I, aon't Joso hwrt: amall men an 1 mlxhty t n Ked a great deal ffheo lberr«ttae (itteniia,. ', :, __ -twine. Iho» who a'e constrained ti solicit for »i«t.nce»re really to be pitied; those wbo ,«ti?eit without, are to be envied; but ; jiose »ho bestow it unasked, are to b<» taBWISDOMOFLIFB. Cuirtßtto niomeni jwbat the hour Bligitettni»»mthF power; i,4 «h.t ttMlfcrt eanat nn^rßt»nd lijuttt«tt»tMlto« nearest co thy B»na. 4(&-lil«i|itan(;ethat when youth eives n tM proipeet of a looglife, we seldom tbinK of btiomtlly providing for its enjoy. m««»! M the t*rro of it has b-en »WdwdbV; flight of its best years, we becomoaßiionß to secure the comforts oi thibrl*f potfibn that remains to ns. Blflaii-J-Thwe is a burden of care in gtttis?lichfß, fcarin keepmg them, temp. tyj«| JtoVUfing ;thenii g^ilc, in abnang : them, sorrow in losing them, and ,8, Ira den of acconnt at list ti be given np tmoenjipg them." And yet we never pa^ the'tti'ii] - wbo was not •willisnt to bear ail these bnrd-ns and take all the risks for tbe itktjUEriches. >•v- . i, •« Be»s, the mimfci once appeared in the tttrtnf King's Bench as b«il for ai friend. Gmowexßaiincd him, and sud, ' You arc, I Wi«ff, an imitator, are yon not VI "So lliey. tett me," replied Bees. " Jell yoo, lirlyju know i. Are ynu not in m tiWrf taking p*opl« offr" B»id the judge. "Ojje^'was the reply, "«nd I«h-iHtake mj«i>if off the moment you have done wich A Good StAh's Tkst > jlent.—•' lam tki"llal for havng onj^yeii ihn privileges of labour and itiflu nee; thankful for wife and children; thankful for all my success I hif. in'cmiottally wronged no mm. and, UlknWh;Kew*f'i ha»e forgiven all my mem-es. F»i the great" here if ter, 1 trhst in the icfioita lov, «a it in expri-s-ed 'o i»e in the life and death of our I ord and Saviour JdsniClirtst. y-kr. G. Holland. Junrr.OF llF*—The longer I live the fflorelfe'-l the importance oi adhering t' thersltg:'whirh;l have laid dowo ia sneb ffls'teti : -l-t. to bar as little as possible otwhat»yer Is to the prejndice of others. m, To believe nothiag of the kind till I am »b»ln-«iy forced toit, 3rd. JVpv«r to adnk latbeimritpfone who circulates an ill i«port,/4tl|,'>iway« to moderate as far as Ittnttiß unkit.dupss which is expresped. WTOdr others. sth. AUays to believe ln»{,:fthe ottierside' were hsard, a very_ oineraat account would be given of the , Bl^ao»T I—How ranch i« comprehended v thew moaos?llable« 1 They give the PttNt sathtMStion in argument, in con 'nation, in writing, in visiting, in almost everything. Tbev execute funiss which too m«ny words and mnch dalliance would imperil wuh failare:: They redeem time, ■bit aH-coraprehendiog and alUmeanioe "metbiog we calL our own, on the right •«a iotiib a »e o! which depend the wonders "goodye may do and the treasures we Biylayupforthg lodr needs oleternity. AttflßiJoMMandperih here spring from »• oiww»nd abuse o( time. :. ''Do yon happen to have about you," »aid •poolfellow who was always in an impe rowoM condition, to an Israelite, who was totttactly without guile, " a bit of money joudon't know wh»t to do wiih?" Th" nch bio felt ia the depths of his capacious Pocketi, ana at l a «t, with a sigb, as though »'' ?eoerosUy co»t him a pang, drew thence » Wo, and Dresented it to the beggar. The Wet u»k it eagerly, but his joy soon gave J»y to wrrow, " Why," he said, "the ™>(! v eounteifeit." "True." was the Wj»"»U!&thatis the only «won why I wt know what to do with it."

N<> man is so ins'guificant as to bo sure his example can do do hurt.

Many yea's flgo, when now see's in new England Degan to break the go id ol<l con g'ega'ional barriers, and make incursions int i th« sh"ppfnjrls nf ihn teyulur cltruy, a reverend divine, a man of good sense and good_ humour, oncounteeu aa irregulr P'acli'ioner at the housa of one <>f hi* flock They had at r*tty hnt di«cani>ion on thei* points of difference ;. and at length the in terloper wound up by saying, " Well, doctor, you'll at leas' allow that it wai commanded to preach the gospel to everj critter?'1 " True," lejoined the doctor, 11 true enough,. But then I never h.'ard it was commanded to ever 'cutter'to preach the gospel

CouraGß.—ln an average man courage att'.nds goorl heal h. Irregular har>i's,. exces-ive eatirig and drinking, insufficient sleep, a bully vent'lated dwelling-place will txk« the " edge" off most men, and rnuke them entirely wtllini; to j-in tho array of followers rather ihan try to be leaders. I he man who will get sleep enough, abun dant fresh air and exercise, and nouribhing food and will confine himself to babitu of sn briety, will find bis bo<iy rxanding, his di gestion good, iris bran cle-tr, bis heart light, and hi> spi'its buoyant, 5 and he will al-o hurt himself ii"t disposed to he ca-t down by trills, bat ever frosb, euqrgttic, hopeful/ and courageous,

Contentmsnt.—As for a little more money and a little more time, why ita ten to one if either one or t"e ether would make you a whit happ'er. If jou had more time, itwould be i-ure to hunt; heavily. It is th« working man is the happy num. Man was made to be active, and h« is never so happy as when he is to. It is the idle man is the miserable man. And, as for money, don't you remember the old saying, " Enough i» as good as afeas'.!" Money n-VT made a m»u nappy y«t, nor will it. There la nothing in its nature to produce happine<s. The nvire a m*n has, the more he wants. In-tead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one. It sali'fies one want, it doubles and tables tint waut another way. Tout wa< a true proverb of tbH wise man; rely upon it- " Better U little with the tear of ihe Lord, than great treasure and trouble therewith."

A Misplaced Plaster.

" What's the matter, Invalid ?" inquired Pa'ieuce, alarmed, as she hurriedly awoke him.

" A bull bad me ia the corner of the fe»ce," groaned he. : He was in great Buffering, and she opened the medicine chest, got out materials for a mustard planter, and a little spirit lamp to heat it with, and went to the end of the) car to prepare it. " Make it hot and strong," muttered he, with : great restraint preventing hiiu^elt from crying out witb tho pain. His wife, wi'h the p'aner already, soon came backsofciy, so as n >t to awaken any one. Tne car w»s darkened, and all the sections looked alike, and for a moment she was confused, bus a smothered snore, which sounded like a groan near at han i. assured b'T. She quickly draw aside the curtiin and clapped the poultice "on.the spot it would do the most go id." The iuva^id just then poked his head oat,' a li tie further down thp aisle, und. io smothering tones, called, "Quick, Catiecce, qoick !'' Shu gave.only one leap like a. shot fawn. into his section, drew the curtain, and', nearly swooned away. !' Great Scott! what's the matter ?t. whispered he. ! i r-ln] managed somehow to gasp out what she hid done, and. presto, the invalid wa< cured; for he sho.-k up bis whole interior organisation go hard in the effort to restrain a bi;; guffaw, tbat he actually icarcd the pain away. '• That man whoever he is, will be boiling, p;pitig hot pretty soon," was his sole com ment. - In about fifteen minute* the at llno«n of: that oar was broken by a volley of shrieks that raised the hair on the head of every; one' ■'Blank I blink] blankety of t he b -kl 1 B'anktfte blanklb-k of bl-k!! Hotspur! Jeruaha ! blank I blank 1! bank !!" Th« whole atmosphere seemed to grow a lurid blue colour with expletives.

Candidates for Martyrdom.

UNE floe evening in the last century the pnetcbnp'-lioond'a frfnch'duke of his nc qnaintmcc supped together, and having t rried long at the wine, naturally began to fenw moral, tv lament the brevity of this fe, and'to-insist that nothing *a« more dcß'rabl'i tban religion, which alone could purcnaue for them a.bai>py hereafter. Unfortunately the prospect of devoHne a whole lifetime to we 1-dolng, seemed fomewbat una1 tractive, a1 dboifibenan to envy tho ea'ly martyrs, who bad gaioed a blissful immortality by a brier moment of suffering, and, haviug lnd another bottle th-y. resolved, with fervent te»'S to co to Turkey and earn the palms of martyrdom. "We wi'l be taken while preachmfr, said the poet, "and led before the Pasha, who will command us to abjure our faith. I will reply firmly;, so will Your Grace j I will be impal.d;. to .will your. Grace, and there wil' be, both ot us-in Paradise." ---•I " Hold on,", exe'airoed his comoanion ; " as a Marshal of Prance, duke, and per, it will be my place to sp^ak to th« fa»ba, be impaled' and go to deafen first-mot a base-born clod like you Il' •, .' '.' 'Vbat do I care if yu are a Marshal of France, duke and peer ?"'■■ pcreimed the indignant poet, >n»Jping his fingeis under His Grace's nose. .. •• Then \h» duke threw his plate at the; ipoet, nnd the p>et. fell upon the duke, and tbe table upon both of them, and there was a rare fcene when they were separated and undertook to explain what they had been fightiog about.

The Old Game.

A! MAN; in want of a pair of boot», with out the money to pay for them, ordered a fishionable shoemaker to send them to a certain hotel at a certain hour. Then he went to another thoemaket and ordered another pair to be dtliv-nil half an hoar later, at tbe appointed time the tirst shoe maker arrived, The man, complaining that the left boot w»s too ti^hlv sent the ohnemaker back with it to stretch it. In a short time the second shoemaker appeared. Tne tight boot of that pair needed s'retch ing, and went back to the shop, shortly after two shoemakers met a' tne r'nom m tbe hotel with a right boot and a left boot unclel their respective arms. -\n exchange of dews upon the; subject I'd to the dis covery that their customer bad '' skipped,'1 and had danced" the grand ri^bt aud left 1' out of sght and kpowh-dge. Two shoe ruakinK establishments vow exhibit a single boot in their phowcasea as a specimen of the work done inside,

Mr Spoopendyke's Dress Coat.

V My dear," said Mrs Spoopeodyke, back iDg away from her lefreshraent table and regatdiog the effect with ber head very much on one side; "my dear, what are you going to wear when our friend* ca'l on Monday ?" " Clothes, I suppose," returned Mr tSpoopendyke,looking up from hit paper. " Why, has the fashion changed recently about wearing clotb.es?" and Mr >-pooijea dyke ngarded bin wife with an anxi>tn

look of inquiry. ' Bat yon should wear your swallo*tail coat, by all meaus," con tinned MroSiioopendyke. " All tbeventle men wear swallowtail oats when they give receiitions now." "Well, if you think you .-it! going to strap me up in* a two-lined eoit and start me around thi< town lokine

like ttie he.ul waiter of a dollar-and-a-balf summer resort, your just as badly I*ft as a oiie-irmcd roan at a cnurch supper I I may be ass enough to hop around to the various Old hen roosts wishing the c intents a happy New Year, but * hen you melt me into a clothespin jacket it'll be when reason no longer holds her seat in tbi« brain I" With whichhappy application of a tritcijuotation, Mr Spoup-ndyke fettled nimee'f back and contemplated Irs wife with a lofty glance of superiority. " (if cou'sc, if you dun't want to," replied Mrs Spoopend) k«, sooth ingly, " there won't be any very great ob jection raiicd .to your bu mess »uit. Be sides, now that I t-ink of it, tbe mo bs g>t into your dres* cat, and I don't th nk it is fit to be teen," and -he put a few fioi hi i«

t 'Uclios on her table, and admired ie irom another standpoint. " Let's see it I" de mandedMr Mpooptndyke, sp lngtng' from h s cli»ir and nuk-ng fur his closet, closely followed by hi- wiic. " What's the matter with l« I- What* the moth got to do with it? Whoputmo'hsinii?" aud Mi Suo-.p. eadyke tuiiiimiutd «round and fired his eothiog in all directions in bis vain search for ttia tuiesi g larment. *' Wh.ro i« it?' h« bowled, tcattenug his wardrobe broad cast. "Have ihe moihs eaten it all up? Didn't they leave even a button lime ? hew my c<at. Brine out tbe split in tbe tails? If thi-ie's no'hing else left, give me oue last, fond, glance at tbe armholea 1" and Mr Bpo>pendyke kicked Ins best trousers to tbe ceiling, following them wi<h a vest, which he supplem nted wito a pair of boots. ' Show me tbe great North American moth fonder ! Are we a nation T" yelled Mr SoO'pendyko, jamming his thumb in tbe door and noppiug around tbe io >m with the injured digit in his mouth. " Haou toeaoor I'1 he howled, bii'giue it a prodigious kick that bent h>s leg under him like a school-girl's. "Did you hurt yourself, dear? asked Mrs tiponpeudyke, wringing her hands aud dodging'the flying b'Ots and clothing, " Dues it look as if'd burt the door auy ?" .demanded Mr Spoopenayko, jabbinu hi* thumb in bis armpit and beading double with the pain, . " D.ies that door give the imprts-ion ot bavibg smashed its timmb auy where ? Why dmn't th* motas e»t tax door 1' Hoist 'em out aud give 'em a feed ?" And Mr Bp»npeudyke caught tbe offending wicket by the knobs aud tugged until be was out «l breath. " Perrj»ps it isn't to bad after all," mutmured Mrs Spoopendyke, following him around tne room id a fruitless effort to catch up wi-hhlui. " Praps it. ain't!" roared Mr tSpooprndyke, ho'ding his thnmb out at arm's lengtb. "Pi'arjs you've got some scheme 'or ranking it worse I Oh, t>o ahead ! Don't mind me ! Take the thumb, i riend, and do your worst!" And Mr Spoopennyke dropped into hU, cbair and groped with wrath. " It's a good thing for this family that I can control myself I'1 he howl d. "If I was like most men, th* lot on which this house ftonds would be a eood place to buiid !" With wbieh solemn prouhecy Mr Spuop-ndyke; spung to his feet, kinked tbe chair into toe o'inoxtcus closet und snorted aloud.

• ' didn't mean your thumb, dear," explaiued Mrs Spnopenoyka; " I wai t.l<iiii! about the coat. • Maybe tne coat isn't in such a bad condition as i supposed it was at first," " Think they

left a packet anywhere?" inquired Mr SpoopendyKP, with a giimace, half pain and half angor. "Or praps you think that since the moths eat the co<t I can Wrar tbe mo'hs I B'ing them out I Hold 'em up while I climb into tiie a'cve* 1 Thai's your idea ? That's the ootion that's t-otherirg you so long ?" " I don't know hut what you can wear the coat anyway !" chirped Mrs-ipnopetidjke, looking up cheer fully, and opening the door of her clo-ot, where she had ca'etully hung the coat after sponging it that vary day. " V'ou caa look at it, anyhow," and sbo brought it out, looking as new and fresh as when he bought it. Then there'r something you don't know?" be giuoibled, eying bis re juvenated garment with a critical eye. 'If all you don't know could only be riumped in to«pther, what «n irfiot axylum it would mike for tome yoting and growing tcritorv. Taking you all in all, you only want an air pump and a glass side t<: bo a.vacuum. Gimme the coat," and Mr Spoopendykc grasped his garment, and tnrew it over hia wife s work-b*»ket for cafe keeping, nnd tlun went to bed, wrapped in a cloud of Krowl*. "I don't care," murmured Mr* Sponpendyko ; "it was the only way I could bave got him to wear the coat, and it's no sure thing that he will wear his ne* kid gloves I nought him unless his thumb K-tH better fust, nod if he can't 1 cm change hem fora p>irthat will fit me, and with this i brifty determination Mrs Spoopendyke weut to bed.

Too Much of a Joke.

ONCE upon a time there wm an Irish p»er of lofty rank, great wealth, and considerable parts, whose animal spirits, however were hiuh, and who was accustomed to piny such eccentric pranks that he was habitual'y known as "the Mad Marquis " It is re liit>d that his lordship, on oneoccision, entered a "general rhop"in a country town a-td reqneßted the o d lady.behind tbe counter to <eiVf him. with a pint nf treao'e. Being a-ked if he had a suitible vessel for too rec-p'ion of the article required he took off hi- hit nnd desired that the treacle should be p mred into it, '' I awks ! " raid the old woman, " *h»t a tunny notion !" biu. adding that gentlefolks often have Slid ways, she p*oc.i ded tn obey her enntnmer's beU»-s'. The treio'e havin,; been poured into the hat, his lord-hip remarking, •' Fuony,indoed !" adroitly phced it on tbe bead of tbe shopkeeper. She wat not quite srao'hered ; and it in to be hoped that the "Mad Marquis" amply compensated her for tbe alarm and inconvenience which his foolish piece of horsi-pUy had cau-ed. her. ; Hint iry has just repeated its If, but in a ' very miochinvous mnoner, with respect to the pracioal joke wi k the troaclf. a few I days aeo a ypell-drefsed stranger entered a grocery store in Wcw York, and asked the proprietor to change a ten-dollar bill. The tradesman willingly complied with the re quest, and la Riving change he exhibited a roll of notes amounting in all to three hun dred dollars. A short time after two young and well-dres»ed men entered the ■tore, and one of them told the grocer that he had made rather an odd bet, and bo wa"t<'d htm to settln it.' Be had laid a waiter, h- said, with his companion as to which of their ha s would hold the larger quantity of moUsKes, and requested tint. bis own head gear might be the lirst filled with tbe sticky syrup in question. The unwary grocer iillo i the hat with molasses to the brim; whereupon one'of the men seized him round the arms while hi* confederate "dumped" tbe molasses-GUod hat on tbe storekeeper's bead. Then they rifled his pnnkets, relieved him of his roll ot gee"backs, and b'lted out of tbe shop. Tbe grocer tan in pursuit of the tbiev-s; hnt they were too nimble for the half blind' d und half'Suifocated storekeeper, und got clear off. The obvious moi-.ii of the story Ik cedu'ouoly to refrain from assisting to settle " odd bats,, prpfvs-ed to have been made by utter strangers among themselves, —" Daily Telegraph"

Verse-Making in sleep.

Tint " Yorkshire Post" sta^ s that the Key. Canon Knox Little has published a hymn on " The Dignity of Sorrow,'' io the "Bt Alb Hi's Parish Magazine," at Manchester, accompanied by tbe lollowing singular ex planation of the circumstances under which it was written. Canon Knox L'tde fays :

—" The verse* «ont herewith were written undor the following curious circunutances. The writer, in a. dream one night last autumn, believed uirn-oif to be conversing with t«o tri-nds on the subject of the biC'gedoess of Ctuistiau .-or<o*,anil 'aocied that then and there he wrote ih« first txo versos aud tbo l&»t, whil.i one of bU com panions wrote the third. Immediately upou waking, in the very early hours of tha morning, the versed were wri'ten down on the tiy-ieaf book which happened to be at hand, and after this the writer again fell a-leep. On ruins; at the usual hoar, every word hud vaoiined from hia memory, so that, hod he not written them down at once and on tir-t aw iking, be would not have written them at all. «m m<:n tiouing the matter io a great living statesman, h« intormed ihe writer tiiat tbe sama kind of thing had. once happened to him-olf, except that, owing to the pause of a moment or t«o> when he was about to.writ? a sonnet which had come to him in sleep, it vanished sud denly and completely fmm his mind, aid wa< never recovered. What is more re markabla Temains to bn tnld. Th* next day one of the dramatis persona: of the) dream called, and, heurng the facts, as tonisheii tne writer by >ssu ing mm that at the vrry time of the night wh<-n the dream must Invi! been flitting across bis brain, > conversation on tbe very subject wax going on mi'es away from the writer's re-idenc* between tnis pur-on and Bnothiar, a state ment corroborated by (he olh'T, who culled unexpectedly tha followinc day."

The Use of Cigar Ends.

A Great Aohibvkmest,

A I'EnsiiVKiiiNfi genius bos lately been trying to entice tke London public some where up into the wilds of Hackney to see the results of sewn years' accumulation of cigar ends piokod up by him ebieily in the course of bis daily tramp to and from the place of hi* employment. Many curious facts and figures have been given of what is habitually done in Paris in this way, but in London, though there are those who are not above snapping up those unooosidered trifles, tbe thing U not done systematically. The individual alluded to has, however, tnrown his wkoie energies apparently into the nohle, and no doubt lucrative, ambition of making a vast horde of cigar cods, and liis accomplishment is certainly not without interest. During the iovcn years be reckons that bo has travelled on foot be tween bis hiuse end the London Docks: an agg-egate distance <of 11 823 miles, and b> contuuaUy k.opiuj; bis nose turned to earth, sotnethihit after thu m inner ti Joint Kunyan's man with the rake, he has, du'i g these travels and in casual walks abroad, managed to pick up 600,000 pieces of C'gar of an average lengtn of an*inch and a hail, tie reckons—and thosu who feel curious as to the accuracy of bis arithmetic are at' liberty to te-t it for themselves—that his. s>ock of pieens if placed cud to end would measure 13J mi es. At three-ha'f-pence cH-.h, the ciat of the cigats mu-t h«ve been oruinnlly £3,750 and the por ions wasted. £1,800. tie purposes selling them, but hns'< been i«<ming printed bills inviting spectator to Come and N3u bis at >ck before be does so,. P'ssibly anticipatiru; that his singular p-r- • sis ency will meet with pecuuia>y reward,. How nttle do we know of what human na'ii'c ii capable when dominated by a, grand idea!— Londoc "Globe."

Chicken Broth for the Million.

•"HKRB exists a bottorol-Hs pot of chicken br.ith, of wnich v-«etarians may partake to their beans' content without violating the right they t;ive un <gurrssive anim.ls, as caickana are, >o live and take ca'o of tbemelves as they are able. And this t»roih t« not mad« by having a chicken fly over the water and drooping a feather in it, It ia both palatable and riou isbine, and people go mmy mile < to drink it for its stren«thening properties. A half mile from tbe hot springs near fSlko, ftevada, which are well-kn»wu to the people of "he State for the curative power of tneir ba-bs, is n sm*li boiling spring of w^ter, impregnated with unknown miue'al iogredicnts wbieh give it the tasCs of chicken broth, an I its til ct upon the human system is as desirable as its flavour is marvellous. It is botb. food «nd dr-nk to its patron*. Invalids utaytug at the bith springs hotel take a trip or two daily to this particular one, carrying with mem a cup, spoon, a pinch of salt and pep per, and then feast by its side, forit must be swallowed while hot to fully imagine it is ,tho Ksnuine article. Wnen it is cold the dflu-toQ is gone; the ohiclren taste has de parted, the palatable flavour has nijaceriously fled and the mineral taste left; it fails to entice the patient's aupetite. Why cannot the water of this spring be utilised, barrelled up, shipped Abroad, and by first subjecting it to a simmer over the Jcitonen range with a handful of rice, be made to give satisfaction served up hot to the world at large ? It would save the neck of many a harmless chicken ; and each and all of them suffer pain at their deatb, even as we should at the buds of a merciless murderer, Cuetom blinds us to the full realisation of thh truth, bat it is a truth, n';vertbeio»B.

Invention of Lucifer Matches.

Mt HoLDENV who entered Parliament as N.P. f.rthe N.W. Riding of Yorkshire, was the inventor of the lucifer match. ■

Ho *a« at the time classical master in am acadi-my at- Reading, and was in the habit of giving chemwal'lectures, once or twice a week, to yi.ung ntndents. To* stoiy of thii discovery ban been told by Mr H olden himself, in tbe House of Commons, before a »elect committee appointed to inquire into tbe working of tbe patent laws. " I began aian inventor on a very small soalo," cald Mr Uolden, in the coarse of bis evidence. "For what I koow, I was tbe first inventor of the luciicr matches; bat it was the result of a happy though.

'' In the morning I used- to «et up at four o'clock to pursue n>y studies, and I used, at that lime, the flint and steel, in the use of which 1 found very great iocan veniencr. 1' gave lectures in cheiai-try, at the time, at a large academy, uf course I knew, as other tihemists did, the explosive material that wiis necessary in order ito produce an ioatanmne'ius light; but it was very difficult to lobiain a light on wood by that explosive material, and the ida occurred to me to put' under the explosive mixture, milolmr. I did that, ana pub lished it in my next Hectare, and showed it.

" Tbcre was a young map in the room whose father was a cbemfat in London, and ho lmnieniaiiily wrote to .his father about it,' and nhortly afterwa«-d» lucifer matcoe were i^saed to the' world* I believe that was the first occasion that we hal the present lucifer mutch, and it was one of those iuventions that some people think ought not to be protected hy a patent. I thiiiK that if all inventiona were like that, or if we could 43snug lish one from the other, the priißos^'e muht hold t!ood. If nil iuven inns were< ascer tained and carried into pratjiice with as much fncil-ty ai in this case, no one would pernapi think of tiking out a p^tit. I was urged to go and take out a p itcut ini mecli.ti-lv ;hut. I thought it was so Bmall a matt r, and it cost me .«O< liitk: l.iliour, that I did not think ir n opar to ko »iwl get a patrnr. otherwise I ha^o no doubt it. would have been very profitable.

ODDS AND ENDS.

If you want to find nut how great a man is, lac him tell it himself.

"I don't like spinach," said Rossini once, " and it is very fortunate I don't, because, if I did like it, I should nat it, and I can't endure it"

An Irishman gays if the Naiads were con. atantly bathin?, be presume*, from their name, tho Dryads were the ones who brought the towels.

"Do you Ihink my daughter is a flirta tionist ?" asked a lady of a gentleman at a watering-place. " I am suie T do not know, madam, " was his answer. "I am not an observationist." . .

Some one remarked to Plnnkett, "Well, you see 's predictions have come true, 1* " Indeed !" said Plunkett; " I always knew he was a bore, but I never thought he' was an augur."

"When was Rome built?" inquired a 'I competitive examiner "In the night sit!" "In tho night! how do you make that out?" "Why, sir, you know Rome wasn't built in a day i"

Old Mis Darnley is a pattern of household economy. She says she has made a pair of socks to last fifteen years by only knittlncr new feet to them every winter, and new legs every other winter.

Grammarians are puzzled over the question whether " mumps" and "measles" are s:ngular or plural. They often look singular, but that is no ciiterion on a question of this kind.

" He is a very warm hearted man." -«aid Sprucely, the other day, of a friend whom' h» hod parted with at a sample-room door. "Yes," said Beocely, who came along too late to be asked in, "he seemed to have A very cordial breath."

Little Alice was crying bitte,ly t and on being questioned, confessed to having received a slap from one of her playfellows.; " You should have returned it," unwisely said the questioner. "Oh I returned W before," said the little girl.

A health journal says:—"An attack of hiccoughs may be stopped by holding the head under water." It does not ear bow long the head should be held under water, but we should think about two hours would be loDg enough to stop the wont case of hiccoughs ever invented. '

A well known public character bad just passed through the initiatory cermonifes of a secret society, and while the sublims moral teachings and ineffable grandeur of the flummery were fresh upon him, a friend whisipered in bis ear, "I say,:—• ,you aro as big' a fool as any of us now, ain't vouV

A clergyman gave an address one after. noon at a Sunday-school on the omnipres ence of the Unity. Ha began by asking, "can any child here tell me where God la not to be funnd T" The questioner having pnui- d for a reply,' one li'de girl answered timidly, " Yes, At, I can.' The olersyi man eaid, " Whero, my dear ? for I do not knoff where the plac« is t<i be found." The) little girl replied, "The Bible says 'He i« not in all tue wicked man's thoughts,' "

During a Dead wood quarrel, a short time back, a woman rusned between the com batants, and,: throwing herself before one of thorn, exclaimed to the'other, "Don't shoot, «b, please don't shoot him 1"' Greatly affected, the fon lowered bis revolver and asked,, in tremulous tones. "Are yon his aweeti.-art, wife, or sister!" •'Ma,' answered the peacemaker, "but thii> man bas a room atniy house and owes me three weeicsV board;" :' ■ mi IJo Mad

■ A few days since a country fo'low ento'ed a bank,-and, marching up to tbe counter, exclaimed, " Here I »ro, I want you ts t«ke a fair look at me." Without a word further he str>de out. The next day tbe sunn customer appeared ntiered the same wotdt, atdagiu disappeared. . The third day,-at about i the tame time, ha walked in, and advancing to the counter, threw down a draft payable three daya after a sight " mowj said he, "you've, seen me three times, I want tbe money for it I" : \<j

It is related that Secretary Evarts of the United States was once one of a p*rty who Were viisitiog the natural bridge in Virginia, Asisu-nnl, after timing at the top,'they de«cenied and viewed tbe wonder from below Whilt there, tbe story was told that Gteorge Washington had onoe stood there and tnrown a silver dollar .completely over tbe bridge, Some of tbe party pooh, poohed this assertion; but Mr Kvarta gravely rebuked them, saying, " You forget how niuctj farther a dollar went in those days. ' . : . hi

Her* we have a poet. He .writes for the country newspaper, i The paper does not pay bin anything for writing. He writes for glory. S-!c how pale and Chin he is. Perhaps glory doea not agree with him. At night he walks without a hat to let the starlif.'ht soik into his brain. He never vets full. ■ Nobody ever asks him to. fie WdS rot born a iseniuv At a very early age hi) fell out of tha gar et window, sod when they picked him up he was a poet. Poets are therefore made, not bora. This is why flits are built eight and ten stories high.

A very elegantly-dressed and aristocratic. looking lady entered a tir^t-claia railway car ai; the Pa'is depot a short time ago. As she opened the door and took her plaoa she observed that the cm was occupied by three or four gentlemen,',one of wtiom, at the momsnt of her appearance, was in the act of lighting his ci^ar. > 'bserving the Jady, he niia'de a significant, grimace, and,, with the characteristic politeness of a French man, mid, '' Would smoking incommode you, madame !'' "I do not know,'sir, No gentleman has ever yet tmoked in my preeciace !" He put out his cigar.

''Faithful Koouoy," the, servant', .'of Me .viaedonn«h (i the emtuent Dublin barrister, wbo died recently, wag almost las well known a? hi* ma-tor. During a loog vacation. Mr Mac 'ouogh, who wn a great dandy and very sraiuoi his personal appear ance, promenaded daily on the parade at Brighton, umbrella expanded to ke-p off the win's ray*, the faithful Rooafy follow. im »t|i r-sp'otfiil dutaoceja hia wako. Poor tconey at le gtb 'grew tir<sd of tjhe promenading, and, taxed his wits to get a holiday. • ppartuoity ere Ions: arose. | <*U. Master inquired what the people a<id of him ■ were th-y.not st' uck by hi- distinguee uppiaraoGß, ofe! Koon-y hen'ated a moment,, and" then r plied, "»our honor ini^'it be vexed if Itould." "Not at all. I command you to tell me." sa dth • lordly Frank. " Well, sir," said Knoney, with pretended dirß fen.ee, "when they are m« following your honor, they cay ih*t you are a luoa'fc, and that I'm your kfeper.' 1 " Booney," said Mr Macdooogh, iv awfulaccents, "I mast go without you in futoie I" ' ■"'

STAR SATURDAY SUPPLEMENT, MAY 5, 1883.



IMPORTANT TO HOUSEHOLDERS. In consequence of extensive alteration in our netv premises, s. ao o :m: :b :e s &c ao. Are obliged to sacrifice the remainder ofj. COBGBA YE & CO.'B stock. We quote a few of the prices, which will be sufficient to show the enormous reductions made. 72 Heavy Twill White Sheeting, lojd. per yard—original price, Is. 6d. Oewdson's Calicos, 4i|d. per yard—sold at 6Jkl Horrocks's Calicos, 3|d. per yard—original price, s£d. Heavy Household Calico/suitable for underclothing, 2|d. per yard. Good White Flannel, 8£ per yard. 10-4 Blankets, splendid quality, 6s. 6d. All our dress Materials, Silks, &c, will be sold at one-third less than usual price. A bale of Ladies' Winter Jackets, ss. lid. each—worth 18s. 6d. 200 Waterproof Ulsters, Bs. 6cl—original price, 17s. 6d. 30 Mantles and Dolmans, the richest goods ever imported to Auckland, will be sold at Half-Price. Tho whole Stook of MILLINERY, including an importation of the newest things in Hats and Bonnets, will be cleared at nominal prioes. j53,000 worth of Men's, Youths', and Boys ' Clothing will be sold at 50 per cent, off original price. Before purchasing visit SAMUEL COOMBES & CO., . On the premises lately occupied by J. COSGRAVE & Co.