IN A BALL-ROOM.

Til a cloak-room was clearing fast, and the piles of abatis and wraps attested to the fact that the majority of the company had arrived. 'I he shire Hunt Ball, twenty years ago, begun early. Being the great ovent of the yoar to many sober country pcoplo, they made a point of arriving at the very beginning and staying to the cod. Iho music had been sounding merrily for some time, when two ladies came in, evidently mother aud daughter; the one, middle aged, calm, and scdato ; the other, young, eaWr, and excited, Tho latter Huns «ft her cloak, gave a hasty glance at tbegla«s, and Stood quivering with impatience, yllilo her mother leisurely din-sted hetsolf of 1»« wraps aud arranged her cup. "Come along, mother, darling.", tho g" said at last. "Ymir cap is all right and you look lovely. Poor papa will bo qmto :: ''"Wtha mother, dryly; "he must bo in a dreadful fidget lest nil the young ladies should be engaged, and there be be no paitaera loft for him. aho "irl blushed and laughed. " Never mind, Florrio ; if anybody wauls to dauco with you, they will manage it somehow." , Vlorrie blushed again, while n tinilo ot the most perfect contain broke ovur her face. It was a fair young face, piottv not with any wonderful Winy, but with fresh noes, Innocence and uwett temper ; a face that wwiisy paterfamilias, yawuiug in door ways, would comment upon with approba tion ; that jealous mothers would not pick to pieces, and that daughters would admire without envy. Thoy found "poor papa warmly dis cussing some magisterial difficulty with a country neighbour, and bearing this on forced delay of hU entrance to the ball room with perfect equanimity. How Florrie's cy=a roved round as tbey entered ; how absently she responded to the greetings of variou* friends I Kveu the gcutlcruau who solicited the favour of a dance received but half ber attontlon. She was only 17, aad had uot yet learned the art or tho necessity of concealing hor feel ines Hvery emotion wroto it-elf in clear Jotters on that childish face. Up and down the room her gray fcyos wandered as sho stood by her mothor, eagerly scanning the groups of dancers, s.nd tlion a sudden light camu into them, a rush of c u lour into h«r cheeks, as a young mau detached hinuelt from a knot of red-coated sportsmeu and approached her. With what a radiant smile sho gicctcd him 1 If er mother noted it ami sighed ; a sour maiden of 40, seeing it, sighed too, aud said to Qerse.f : " What a flirt that girl is," bat oveu while spying it she knew she was unjust. Tha youug muu did not sigh. 11 a smiled a smila almost as radiant aa Florrie's o*n- nlm«Bt, not quite "Oh, Miss Ddrluy," ho began, "1 thought you wero novor coming." " I thought we never wore," she replied, naively ; " butiwo are hero now," she added in a tone of extreme satisfaction. "Yes, you aro here now," he said, "and you will stay to lh« end and give me a great many dances. Wouldn't you like somo tsa ■?" Of cauisc sho would like some tea, and as sho was going to dauco the next waltz with him it was hardly worth while to ra turn to her mother tuo few lnteivcning moments.

Florrio was no tlirt, but she was only iust out, had seen uolhiui: of tha world, and had never stiired from under her mother's wiog. What wonder that »he was completely cap tivated by this handsome young soldier, who contrivod in so ruiny little ways to imply, though ue had not said it, that be loved her. She was ovor head and oar* in love with him, never doubted that he was ordainod to be her husband, and had the most perfoct faith in him. Ho was cerUinly very happy In her society, aud would willingly have sat by her aide and danced with her ilia whole night. But Fiome had beou well drilled on thu point. Bbo looked wistfully at her pro gramme when bo handed it back to her half filled with his own nimo.

" You mutt scratch them all out but two I should like it, but I musn't," she said, simply. A look came over his face that half charmed half friglftenod her. "Ah 1" he began eagerly, and tfcon checked hiinaolf. " I ihould like, but I mustn't," he added, half under his breath, She looked at him wonderingly, "Lid you spoak!" she asked. " No, no ; there is tho music. Corno." To say that Florrie enjoyed the ball would bo to express it feebly. Sha was simply steeped in content. Whether Bho danced, or sat unnoticed by ker mother's side, she win profoundly happy. Then she had that second d»nce to look forward to, and she resolutely refused to go to tho tea room till then, that she might honestly want some refreshment after it. Then fol lowed another ton minuUs, of which each momenj was a lifetime of bliss, never to be forgotten. As they paesod Into tho ball n<om thej mot a girl coming ont who hud already attracted Mr Peyton's altcution by her ex treme beauty—her dazzliDg complexion, her masses of golden hair, and her big bluo eyo*. She was leaning on the arm oi; a miserablc'looking little man, who had been heading tho train of her admirers the wholo eveeing, and who did not appear, judging from his countenance, to havo demod mnch comfort from the amusement Tho young lady stoppod Florrie, saying :

''Well, Florrie, are you eDJoymg your self ? I have tried fainly to catch your eye the whole evoning. but you bare beon bo occupied you wouldn't look at me." FTThere was an undercurrent of f-arcasm in the tone which was quite lost upon Florrlo, who replied, enthusiastically : "I am enjoying myself immensely." Tbc beauly smiled and passed on, giving Mr Peyton a glance from under her long eyelashes that kept him silunj till tbey got back to Mrs Darley. " Who is that young lady ?" he asked, ■' She is a Mies Talbot,'' Florrie Baid. " Is she not pretty !"

Over her, too, had come a vague, inde finable sensation of comethiug, ihe could not tell what, that jarred upon her.

A few minutes after Mr. Peyton bad moved away Alice Talbot came up, and, dismissing her disconsolate partner with a earless nod, sho said:

"Dear Mra. Darley, may I sit by you? Papa is always in the middle of a group of gentlemen, and I never can near him." Mrs. Uarley cordially consulted, not with out a little wonder, for Miss T»lbot was accustomed togoaboutalono with her father and did not usually appear to foel the want of a. lady chaperon.

"Who was your last partner, Florrie V Alice inquired. m '•Mr. .Peyton," said Flonie.

'' Mr Peyton," A lico repeated. " Ob,. of course—l know. He is one of tho officers of the—th. You must introduce him tome. iic h»s called on ns, and it scorns foolish not to know him."

A feiv miuutes later the introduct'on wns made. But Mr. P. yton did not seem dis posed to spend mnch time on Alice Talbot. He tinned to Fiorrie eagerly and said : "Will you let me take 5011 in to (up per?" Tben tl-e vague shadow vanished at once from tbc girl's mind.

"You must juct let me have one more dance with Miss Darley," Mr Jetton said, when Mr Datley exprcsserl his decided con viction th»t it was time to go, and tho father could not resist his child's happy ploading eyes. Short-sighted old gentle man, he wondered what there was in dancing lhat all girls were so fond of it, When tho danco was over and the pair came back, tboy found Alice Talbot stoutly resisting an attempt on tho part of her father to take her away.

"I must stay for the next danco, papa. I tin engaged to your good-looking fiiena," sho added in a whisper to Plorrio. I ■wouldn't miss it for tho world."

Bat Plorrio hardly heard her. She was absolutely wild with excitement. Never betore had Mr Peyton been so detoted; never before had slio been so suro that ho loved her, nor had she realized what it was to be to loved.

1 shall see you on Tuesday at the Grays," he said a>i they stood waiting for the cirridge, looking down wilh more tenderness than he peihapj knew into the flushed happy ffici\ It brightened, if that were possible.

"But I thought you said you were on duty that day ?"

"I'll get oft'somehow. I would risk a court-martial sooner than miss seeing you." "That would be wrong," she said, gravely, with her earnest eye 3 fixed on his face. " I hopo you would not neglect your duty on any consideration. lam suro you would not," Bhe added in a tone of deep conviction.

" I never will after that," he eaid in a very low voice.

" Do you know that this dance has bosun ever so fon« ago T> she said presently, » £S for if" y°U ar° o"i;aBcd t0 Mis Talbot "Ob, Mm Talljofc is so inundated with n "« uiat I aw sum ahe won't havo

waited for me," ha replied carelessly. Nevertheless, he found that shobad waited for him, though tbcro were several gentle men eager to supply his place. When he apaligized she gavo him n bril liant smile, aud said she quite understood and forgave him. Meantime the Darloys drovo home._ The moon shone down on the father dozing in his corner; on the mother, silent, with many anxious hopes aud fears regarding tor darling ; aud on tli.it darling, sitting up right, and wido awake, gazing into the clear frosty sky, and murmuring over and over again to herself, " I am so happy, I am It Wfta *ix months later, one hot night in June, that Kloreuca Darley followed hpr mother into anoihcr ball-room, unly six months. But a gr'at deal of experience can be gaine-i iv that time, and Florrio had lie quired rather more thun her Bhare. An indeseiibable change had coma over her whole face mid manner, Something of her sweet fieahneis aud happy content wore goue. A touch of restlessness, even fretful ness, had taken thtir pHiee. She was us profoundly indifferent to most of her ae iimuutaneea as sho had been on a former occasion, but sho made an ell'ort to concoul it, and when sho looked round the worn it was with hasty furtive Rlauces. No one vuslioil ca.erly up to hor now to express delight at hor arrival and t) claim half a dozca dances Bat Morrie had not been in the room a minute before she knew that Mr Poytou was there. He was stand ing by Alice Talbot, who was looking more brilliant and beautiful cvon than usual, aud was bestowing her brightest smiles and oil her powers of fascination npou him. With unncrable, bitter humility, I'lorrio owned that it was no wonder he had neither eyes nor ears for any one elso. But the ac knowledgment did not make it less hard to bear. . "She has so many admirers she might have loft him alone," said the poor little tiling to herself. But she held herself bravely to outward appearance. A hundred timca she chocked herself in the act of letting her eyes wander in soarch of him. Sho laughed uud talked so ftayly tint one of hor paitacrs re marked afterward that " lig never knew Mies Daley had so much fun iv hor." Onco, when he and Alice passed closo to her, sho was apparently so deeply Intorestod in her conversation that she did not seem to sac thorn. Sbe might have spared herself that small pieco of hypocrisy, for by him it passed unnoticed, aud only brought a smile of derision to Alico's face. Flonio heraolf spont the rest of tlio night iv regretting it. For, after nil, a smile or a bow froui him would have been bettor than nothing. Mrs Daley looked anxiously in the girl's \K\\e face and eyes that lud so deep a look of pain in them, though the lips smiled so incessantly, " I think, my darling," ehe said at last,

''that it is time to go." " It is quite early," Flonie said, wistfully. She coulu not voluntarily give up the luai chance. ]lut tho mother knew how vain it was to wait, ami tlut tlia sooner they wont the better it would bo for Florriu's poac*. " I am tired, doar," sha said gently, " and it is la:er than you think." Then Flrortie acquiesced at ouco. It was over, then, this evening that she had lookod forward to with suca feveruh hopo and fear ; and what had it brought ? Only tho estab lishment of tho muoiablc conviction thai she had fouaht against tor wooka past. 11* was indeed lost to her. Vat, with tho in consistency of human iutur», aho began at onoe to consider wheu and wher* she might have another opportunity of leaiue him. She thought that evouan occasional glimpse of hia faco, a word or a smiU, would satisfy her. And she had it.

At tho top of the stairs thoy met him and Alice.

" Going already ?" said the lattor, g»yly. " Have you enjoyed your»olf, Flotru?' "Very much," Skid florcie, promptly, and was about to pats on, for her mother was alieady at the foot of tho stairs, whon Mr P«ytou chicked her by Baying, with a slight expression of uneasinws ou his hand some face.

" I was so sorry you woro out whon I called ycjtorday. I camo to say good-by. I am ofl' to Southampton to-morrow, tbeu to India." Even Alico, who never took her sparkling ejea off the girl's tcnsitive face, could not det«ct by the quiver of a muscle that this was the firtt intimation Flonie had had of tho fict. She looked with cool composure at the young man, aa she said, quietly : " I am very sorry wo rnis?ed yon " " And you will not stay and give mo one dance :" he said. "I am afraid I can't, My mother i* tired." " Well, you must keep one for mo at the first ball we moot at on my return from India." " Ob, certainly, If you are not eaton by a tiger in the meanwhilo," she answered, laughing. " Good-by— bon voyage." And with a nod and a amilo she ran lightly down the staircase

He turned to Alice,

" I won't lot mysolf bo caicn by a tlgor ax long as I kuow you, my dailiug, aro waitiug for me."

" Hush !' she said, Rlanciug round un easily. " You must make a fortune before you can have the right to call mo that. My father will never consent othcrwi*o." "Trust me. Only fay you will be true to me."

She raisod her lovely eyoa to his face for a moment, and ho did not notice that she said nothing. He walked homo in the early momiug, emokiug a cigar and building castles in tho air, of which Alx<j Tnlbot was nln-aysqucon ; while Florrie, still in her ball-dress, knelt ia her little rocrn at the top of the house be side the open window, looking over the wide expanse of London chimney-pot?, and Hobbini! ;

"I am s'j miserable—l am so misor able."

It was eighteen years since that memor able hunt ball, which Floronce Darley had marked as a white-letter day in her lifo, whea sho onco more found herself within the walls of the old courthouse for a similar festivity, Florence Darley still, and likely to remain so, both in her own opinion and iv that of her friende, though a few of her con. temporaries wcrcdisposed to considerhercon tent with tho acceptance of the title of " old maid " as a personal iojury to themselves. And truly sho wai only 36, and might have pasted for younger had she choien to assume tho manners and dress of youth. But she had lone; since lost her parent?, and had, moreover, two grown-up niecei, who, motherless, looked up to her as to a mothor, so she "had no Avish to cling to young-lady bood. Bhe had placed herselt in tho ranks of the cnaperone, and ft was in that charac ter she came to-night.

"My dear Florrie, you really mako your self ridiculous with your assumption of old age," said a tall, golden-haired woman who entered tbc room just bihind her.

This was the celebrated beauty, Lady tforlczgh, oncu Mips Tulbot. She was still lovely, though there were hard linrs now round tbo beautiful mouth, cud a restless look of wearinoaa and discontent in the large blue cyea—a curious contrast to Florrie's serene content

"How do yon do, Alice?" siid Miss Darley, declining to argue the no'nt. "I thought you wcro in London. What brings you into there parts 1" " Oh, I came," said Lidy Norloigh, flip pantly. •' because Norloigh wanted mo not to come."

Norlcigh, standing by, laughed feebly, and tried to look as if it were a joke, ia which attempt he failed, He was that miscrable-lookfna little man who had hovered so humbly round Alice in this very room years ago. Several unexpected deaths having considerably al'ercd his worldly position, had also altered Miss Talbot's sentiments toward him. Nerortheless ho looked none the happier for hla double i»ood fortune. Lady Norlcigh passed oa in her diamond.*, lace and satin—tho cynosure of all eyes—while Florrie.ln her sober black gown, placed herself on a bench, prepared to amuso herself by watching her girls amuse themselves, though her nttentiou wandered a good deal to her former rival.

"Auntie," said one of her niceu*, suddeuJy starling her from an intent, half sad, halt-amused obHcrvaiion of Lady JNor lei«h, "I want to introduce—" the name was lost.

"I think I have had thf pleasure of mret ing your auut before, Miss Darloy," said a voico which in eighteen years had never faded from Florrio's memory ; which even now brought such a rush of mingled pain and pleasure, such eulliicating heartbeats, that, for a moment, the sedate old maid was unable to speak. Sho fhook hands with the speaker as if in a dieain, was dimly conscioHS of his fitting down beside her and making somo tiivial remarks about the weather, the decorations of the room and so on. Gradually sho collected herself enough to look at him, and to take ia the chaDges time had made in him. There were not many. He wns etill handsome, but very much older, both in manners and appear ance, more so thau even the lapse of years accounted for, but Florde decided that she would have known him anywhere He did not wtuy Ion;; beside hyr, ami presently

Florrie saw him talking to a very pretty woman, whose youthful appearanco, com bined with her exceedingly smart attire, proclaimed her a bride. Whoso bride ? As Flonie noted the all'ectionate admiration with which Colonel Peyton looked upon her, she thought she had no need to ask, aud, in deed, almost at tho sumo moment her nicco said to her ;

'Is she not pretty? Mrs Peyton, I moan."

" Sho is very pretty," Florrie said with a smothered si^h. With profound, half-pain ful interest she watched the fail youug wifo.

"She looks good," she thought, "aa if she would mako a man happy. Heaven blc^s him. Heaven bless them both."

Colonel Pey'on, however, did not spend the whole evening in attendance upon hi« bride. He prosautly went in search of Lady Norlcigh, with whom ho had already renewed his acquaintance. She was extremely gracious to htm, and smiled as brilliantly as ever, but it was a hard smile.

There was a certain defiant hardness now in her whole bearing. " Well," she saiit, aa they l»ok their places in a quudrillo exactly opponito f lorrie, " how do you iind England after »>.» many years of abscuea ''." "I And it," he replied, "so changed that I am tempted to return to India and never to repeat thia experiment." "Oh, uouaense," she said, gaily. "I suppose you did not expect to iiud every thing just as you loft it." "No," lie answered, Binilicg. "I was hardly so unreasonable as that, but I was not prepared for so niiny changes." "Come, now, what cbaogos ? sho urged, " For my part I could almost fancy not an hour lud passed eiuco " Sho paused, and then faid : "Do you remember a ball here about—well, 1 won't siy how many years ago." " I do remembor," ho said gloomily.

"And hori wo all aro ag*iu," aho con tinued ; " moßt of us at least. Here am I, horo aro jou, and there"-with a slight change in her voicoanda glance at Florrio — "i* Florence Darley."

Ills manner chaugod too. " Yes," ho said. " Sho ii not changad." "You Hatter her," said Ludy JNorlcigb, sharply. Ue looked confuted for a moment, but wont on ukdnuntod.

"She looks us good, as sweet, as con tented as sho did eighteen years ago. Her's is indeed a face to nuke ono the hotter for lookiug at, to save one from bsliciinjj tlut there ia no truth or faith loft in tho world."

" Tho meaning of thu tirade being," said Lady Norloigh, sarcastically, "that you are concuilcd ouough to believe that Miss Darley has been wealing the willow for you all these years. Don't look so iuuocent aud inditfiiuuc. You kuow, as well as I do, that you nearly broke her heart once ; ouly, luckily, hearts are uot nude of breakable ttull', aud her's was mended long ago." Thou, with a sudden softening of tono, perhaps with soino vatrae wi»h to atom for tho wrong she had so deliberately dona Florence Durlcy, »ho added half to hersolf: " Bui tho scar Kcuiains, I thiuk, Y«s, you aro right; she ia a bravo true woman and you—wore a fool." "I know if," he said, with a quiet ompha.u that i.ady Noileigh quit* umtor stood.

Whon tha dmcc was ovor, and Colonel l'oytoa had loft his partnc , ho went over to Floirie aud sat down besido her.

" Do you remember," he said, ■' that you promised'to dauco wiih me the first time wo mot ou my roturn from India ? I am going to claim Uint promts*." "And do you romombor," tihe answorod, suiiliug, " how mauy yoais ago the promise w;w made ?"

" Xheu you do remember!" ho said, with an eagerness that moved bor strangely, It was so liku Inn old inuiuer.

" Yos, I reiuembor," »Uo said, " but I never ilaaca now ; I am a chaperon."

" You a chau«ron I' ha laid, " how very ridiculous 1 Itatcmito me but yosUrdaj that you and I danced together in this Tory room. Do you reniombtr something you said to mo that night, about hoping I would ncrer neilect my duty j" " Observations made in a ball-room are seldom worth remembering," said Florrie, Kr»vtly. "It would bo more satisfactory if, instead ot recalling all tho uoommsc you or I, or any one else, may have talked »o many years ago, you weie to give me sonic account of India.

" Oh, I will semi you some- books about it.if you arc interested in that sort of thing," he said, his face filling a littlo. ■' Well, but tell m« something about what you havo been doing all this time," she said with an »ir of grave kind interest.

" I can tell you that in three words," he answered bittotly : "claying tho fool, aud yet havo been saved from many follios by that ono speech of yours. Your look »ml tone haro haunted "

" I should like so much to be introduced to your wife, Colonol Peyton," Florrio iu lerrupted, "My wifo," ho said, astouishod, "Oh, you must mean ui> siator-in-law, I havo uot a wife."

"I beg your pardon," eho falUred. " Souiooue poiutod her out to mo as your wife."

He looked with Momentary surpriso at her crimson face, then the surprisu changed to an expression of gladness and tenderness. Bui ho only said : 11 When 1 have one I will certainly in troduce her to you." Tho girls chatted gavly on their way homo over the events of trie ball, wondering a little at " Auntie's " unutual silence, while "Auntie" leaned buck in the car riage with clasped hands, whispering softly:

''I have seen him again, and we shall always be friouds. Whatover happens, 1 am content,"—" All tho year Hound,"

ODDS AND ENDS.

Wbat is that which, by losing an eye, has only a nose left!—A noiio. Whou does a man Bharo with a silver razir !—When ho cuts off his hair (hoir) with a shillicg.

Why is a solar oclipso liko a mothor beating her boy ?—Becaubc it is a-hidlng of the son (sun). Why is Westminstor Abbey liko a fonder ? —Because it contains the ashes or tho grato (grato).

Why is Satan always a gontloman I—Be cause, being the imp of darkness, ho can never be iiup-o'-llght. What are the throe comparisons of a lairyor?—First ho got? on, then he gets honour, and then ho gets honest. Why may carpenters reasonably bolievo thero is no such thing as dtono t— Because they novor saw it. Who aro tho best men to send to war?— Lawyers, because their charges are so groat no one can stand t!i..m.

What is the dliFcrcnco betwoon a forward minx and a shot rabbit ?—Ore is over bold, and the other is bowled over.

Why aro wheat and potatoes liko tho idols of old ? -Eyes have they, but they soo not; cara have they, but thoy hear not.

Why is it bad for a boy to be given made clothes?— Because ia ouch a way he acquires looso habits.

If a church be on firo, why has the orc;an the smallest chance of escape?-Because tho engine cannot play upon it. Thero is a man of such a violent tempo that he delights in beating carpets und caning chairs. Gentility i» sifd to be eating meat with a silver fork when the batcher has not been paid.

A good action in noter thrown away, and perhaps that is the reason why wo find so few of them,

"Anything to please tho child," as tho nurjo said whon sho let tho baby crawl out of tho window.

Thoro Is said to bo a jolly old dog—a tetter—in London who is nearly eighty years old. Ho in a typc-sotter. Wanted.—A bank. It must bo sound in every renpoct, gentle, and Jkiud, and warranted not to break.

An advocate for cremation gavo, as ono great point in its fivour that It saves many a dead person from being buried alivo. It is whispered ia our oar by one who i 8 not partial lo catd-playirg, that it requires two packs to play a game—a pack ot cards and a pack of fools.

A house-painter in fcjew Yoik painted a door so exactly in imitation of oak that last year it put forth a quantity of leavos, and grow an excellent crop of acorns, An Irishman arriving in camp with two prisoners, was askod by liis ofliccr how ho captured them. " Oh, bedad 1" ho replied, '< I ourrounded them,"

"Sir," said an irasciblo man to his oppo nent, "sir, I boliGvoyou aro either a deietor an atheist." " Wrong, sir," was the rejoin der, •' I am a dentist," "I say, Mick, what snrfc of potatoes are those you arc planting?" "Baw ones to be sure—your honour wouldn't be thinking I would plant boiled ones "

" I don't believe it's any uso, this vac cination," said a Yankee. I had a child vaccinated, and ho fell out of tho window and got kiypd V[

It was a clover girl who, whon her lover, who was too bashful " to speak out," asked her what he could do, replied : " i>o write and fear not."

There is nothing marvellous about curing by laying on hands. Hands laid on smartly and vigorously have cured many small boys of badness.

It is considered a wrong thing for a husband to striko his wife, but perfectly right for a wife to collar and cuff her husband.

A redheaded man attended a masquerade wrapped horn his head to his heels in brown cloth, and with his head baro. He represented a lighted cigar " Why it'a as plain as two and two make four,I'eaid a man in an argument. "Hut 1 deny that too," said his disputant, " for 2 and 2 make 22."

"That gun you sold me bursted thfi first time I lircd it off," said au irate sportsman to Mr hhoot, " That's very strange," said tho latter; "itiu.ver did so befoVo. You must have been putting; powder in it," !' Arthur," said a good-uaturod paront to his son. " I did not know till to-day Unit you had been whioped at school last week." •' Ab, papa, but I knew it at thu time," waa tho nnivu reply.

An old bachelor fayn, " It i« all nonsense to protend that love is blind. 1 never yot knew a man In love, that did not see ten times as much in Ihh sweetheart IU I conld."

When Dr Chapman was dining at an hotel, lie was served with what was called barley soup (iv the bill of fiuc. " That is not barloy Houp," said he to the waiter, "it is barely soup."

Kicii and Poor.—"So your daughtor has married a rich husband ?' '• Well," slowly repliod tho fither, "I bolievo sho lias nuuiiou a rich man, but I undcrstaud he is a very poor husband." A Well-informed Laly.—"So Garibaldi is dtad," said a lady. " I reiuombur his name perfectly because ho invented those Uaribaldi waists we u»cd to woara fow days ago. Soma relation to Worth, wasn't he?'

" Do you know tlio prisoner, Mr Joucs ?" " Yes, to the bone." " What is his charac ter?" "Didn't kaow ho hud any." "Doea he live ne*r you!" "So near tuut ho has ouly ypent lira shilling upou lirtwood in eight years." "0111111! blundering idiot has put that peu where I cunt iiiid it," growled Old Asperity the othur day as ho rooted about tho de»k, "Ah, urn, yss ; 1 thought bo," he continued in a lower key, as hu hauled the article from behind his ear.

A housewife 8»w it stated that butter could be made out of old boots. l!ut aftar she and the old man nmt the boys had tuken turns for two days at churning n pair, nlie Mino to the couclnsioo thut tlio news paper* do lie atrociously.

A certain caravan orator at a fair, after a loug yarn dcucriptive of what was to be scon inside, wouud up by saying, "Step in gentlemen ; step in I Take my word for it, j ou will b« highly delighted when you come out."

"What's a good euro f«r the gout?" a»k«d Nobbs. " Bulterraiik," nnswerod Dobbs. " How simple ! I'll try it How is it to bo taktn t" exclaimed Nobbs, "Five gallons a day for ten year* I" replied Uobba.

Theodore Parker's rulo {or mnrriod hup pinoss was that tin* wife and tho hmb&ud should overlook cnoli other's fault*. This, however, would not work lv Utah, whirs a man'Sjehortcomingi increase with ov»ry new wife. Mora Gr»mmalio*l and Corract.—" ' l!:iJ drauk'is not good English grammar," says a high authority. It certainly is cot. "AVtis dtunk" v hotter grammar, ami moro in accordance v ith tho facts, niuo out of tuu. An Irish coroner's jury returned a vordict thai tho deceased ciune to hi.< dc-aih tram exposure. " What do you uioai by that?" naked a rcUtivu of tho dead mau. " Them aro two bullot-lioUw in his ikull." " Juit 10," rcpliod the coroner, " ho diod from ex posure tv bullets." When Oliver Cromwell first coinid his money, an old cavalier, looking at oao of tho new pieces, read this inscription on one »ide :—" Uod is with v* "; on tio olh»r, "Tho Commonwealth of England." "I see," eaid ho, "God and tho Common wealth are on dilForaut sides."

•' Vo, Indeed, I'm uot going to learn how to nuke bread," said a belle. " (Mil* who know how to nuke bread goaoially marry men who c»u't afford to buy Hour to make it with, mid they buve to work in a mil liner's shop to help to pay tho bnkor's bill. I'll atick to my fancy work."

" Is there such a thing as luck ?" asks a correspondent. There ia. For instance, if you go home at two o'clock in the morning, »ftcr promising your wife to (to homo early, and find htr aidcep and don't tumulo over nny chairs, that's luck, but it isn't to be depended on. " What are they talking about?' said a member during a debate lately ou the money question. " Thoology," was the roply. " Theology ! Why, I thought it was thomouey quostiou." "Well, mou»y is their deity, and tbey are discoursing about that."

" Whit's your name?' lukcd one four year-old misi of another. "1 do dcclaro," replied tho second little girl, " y»u are aa iuquMtivo as grown people. Thoy always ask my Dame aud where I got my now boots, aud all such tings, until l an oa'umcd of 'em.

The firemen were industriously trying to extlugnifli a blazo in a public-home the other night, when an impecunious Pat, who had been drinking "on tick," beseeching liia friend tho pipoman, «»id : "For the loto of Heaven, Thomas, play on tho ablate,"

Finn, the celebrated comrdiira, once foil over a lot of woodonwiru in frtnt of a man's shop, upon which tho shopkeeper cried out, "You canio noar kicking tho buckot that timo, mister." " Oh, »o," said Finn, quits complacently, " I only turned a little pale," At asocial club tho subject turned upon tuuiic. Tho discussion was animated, and a certain song was cited as an excollcnt composition. " That song alwayi carrioi mo away when I hoar it." Looking eagerly round trie table, ''Can anybody whistle it?" naked a wii.

A famous eurgoon advises ono of his pationts to undergo au operation, "Is it very sovoro ?'' asks (he patient, '■ Not for the patient," fays tho doctor, " wo put him to elecp ; but very hard od the oporator," "How so?'1 "We suffer terribly from nnxioty, Jutt think, it only succeeds onoe in a hundred times."

" Thirty yoars ago I was a poor boy," ho proudly observed lo the reportor. " A poor boy at two dollars a week- Stop by stop I roso from the menial position until I became a momber of tho Legislature and hero I am at last." Tho interview was held at the gontloman's rosidonco-tho Slate prison at Auburn.

Tho Earl of Buchan was, to tho end of his life, although cccon'ric, a great social favourite, imd "a torriblo old flirt," On leaving a room ho would tako loavo of Iho prettiest young lady in it with old-fashioned courtesy and »ay—" Good-byo, my dear ; and pray r membor Margaret, Countess of Buchan, is not immortal," A contemporary has been asked, " Can a man belong to a brats band and bo a Chrla- Han!" It replies, "We boo no impedi ment in the way. Bat If ho is a mombor of a brass band, and is given to praotico on a cornot or a trombone »t homo, it If a vory difficult thing for iho man next door to bo a Chriitlan."

" Now, spoa'n you was to be turnod into ananimai," said Jem, "what would you like to bo, Bill ?' ,'Ob, I'd like to be a lion," replied Bill, "bocauso he's so " 'Oh, no, don't be a lion, ]J II," interrupted littlo Tom, who hashadsomorooontpalnfal cxpcrlenco at sohool; "bo a wasp, and than yon can sting the schoolmaster," Thay orr who tell us polkonoss has fled, aslwitncsa tho following postscript of a loiter recently rcceivod by tho Duko of X from the steward of ono of his estates : " I beg that your graco will excuso mo for having tnkon (ho liberty of writing this lotter in my shirt sloevcs, but tho oxceseiye hoat has compelled me to be guilty of this apparent disrespect." A negro was boasting to a grocer of the cboapnesa of 10 lbs. of tuj»ar which he had purchased at a rival shop. " l.ct mo woigh the package," paid tho grocer, Tho negro assented, audit was found 2 lbs. short. 'I'ho coloured gentleman looked perplexed for a moment, and then said, " Guess he didn't cheat this child much. While he was getting the sugar I stole two pair of shoes." A well-known maiden Jady in tho couth of Ireland left, at her decease, (ha following noto of alarm and warning to hor doscou dauts :—

Don't bo lilto Nauoy Baxter, Who rofnuor! n mini before ho aVd her.

The celebrated I>r Hunter, whom Aber ncthy, in one of his arid veins termed tho "JJnglMi Ulood Hunter," when starting in life, gavo lectures. Hia first lecture was attended only by the portor- "John," said the great man, unmoved by tho cir cumstance, " take that skoleton down that I may cay with pr.opriety-rGen.tlc mon,

Thero are more ways than one to koep a husband at home in tho evenings. The wifo might put a cask ot beer in one cornor of,1 the dining ro»m, cover tho floor with sand, and hire two or three dirty follows to fill the place full of smoke from vilo cigars. A woman with any sort of tact can make home as happy and cheerful as a corner public.

A lady, who had company to tea, re proved her little son sivcral times, speaking, however, very gently. At last, out of patience with him. she said, sharply— " Jimmy, if you don't keep still, I'll send you away from the table" "Yes, that's what you always do when thero is company, and there's not enough cookies to go round," was the reply of tho gifted youth." They were talking over nmaic and the dtama at the table of their boat, who, as they were already well aware, owed his fntuue to his own unaided exertions. "You are fond of Kosa'mi ?" asked ono of the guests. " 1-Vsionaloly," replied the host, "Know his 'Harbor?1' "No, sir, Ido not. Never patronised tho man. Mayo ahavod myself for tho last forty years." An aasemblod family, as the legacy to each waa read aloud, sobbed, and wished that the father had lived to enjoy his owu fortune. At last came tUo bequest to bis heir—"l «ivo my eldest sou Tom a shilling to buy him a rop» to hang himself with." "I wish," said Tom, sobbing liku thn rest, •' that my poor father had lived to enjoy it himstlf." At a meeting of clorjjymon not long since a rcverond goutlemuu of tho name of Loss, of dimunsions somowhat extended, laterally and altitudicallv, presented himself. Said one of the brethren to him —" Wuon you leit your peoplo, you wero a great Loss." "Yea," laid auothor, "and when he dies he will be no Losi," " Kay," suid a third, " ho will bo a dead Loss.'

When Sir William Soropo was about to cliurL't) with his troop at tho famous conflict of JiJJjob.il], at tho opoplng ball of tha uarlia mentary campaign with Kioir Charles )., he said to bis young Bcapoyraci; of a son, "Jaok, if I should bo killed, lad, you will have unough to spend ;" to which tho witty rogue außWcred, " And, egad, fatbor, if I should be killed, you'll have enough to pay." Maud ; " What very largo teeth Scotch men have, mamma; havon't they ?" Mamma: "Wot any larger than wo Eng lish yioplo have, M»udio " "Oh, yes, they have ; for, whon pupa aaked the new Scotch garJeuer to-day if huwouldtskcauy whitky, ho replied that he would take just a toothful, and I am auro papa made the butler give him more than halt a tumblerful ; and hu tooth held it all, for ho didu't spill a drop."

A tocher in aauburbiin town was giving her el>s» an object leason ii fow days ago, and dicw a cac upon the blackboa«l for its inspection. She then asked what there was ou the cat, and tho unanimous reply wan. "Hair." " What also?" she queried. 1 hero \rua a Lang pause of coutideration, but tiuiilly tha baud of a bright-eyed little tive-ycar-old shot up, and almost mmultane ounly came her triumphaut ivuswcr, " Fleas 1"

During the Reign of Torror tho mob got hold of tuo AbbiS Mttury, and resolved to •aerifies him, "To tho Jamp-rost with hinil'wa* tho universal cry. The Abbe" was in a bid fix with a mob for hia judges —the tendor mercies of a mob I With tho utmost coolnesi iho Abbd laid to tho>o who were dragging him along, " Well, If you hang mo to tho lamp-post, will you see any dcaier for it?" Tois bright aally tickled hit exeeutionera and saved hi* life.

" flcuio, sir, thcrVs iiething in tho 'ouie for your dinner," said the I'ote's landlady iv the tone of one who Ivi* a chronic e-oU, aud uu't ashamed ot it. " How about tha fi»h I sent in I" "blouse sir, tho cat 'aye eat thorn." " Then there's some cold chicken " " Pleaao sir, the cat " " Wasn't Uiere a taxt of some sort " "Hcobo sir, the cat " "All light. 1

must do with Stilton ond colory "" "Raaso sir, the cat " "Thoocook the cat. I el's have it all at once."

At a roccnt fashionablo wedding, after tho departure of tho happy pair, a dear little girl, whoao va and ma were amongst the guests, uked with a child's innocent inrjumuivcneia: "Why do they throw things at the pretty lady in tliu ctrriago T" " Kor luck, doar," replied one of tho bridewnaids. "And why," again aikod the child, "docin't sho throw back?" "Oh," naid tho young lady, "that would bo rudo." " fllo it wouldn't," per.istsd the dear little thing," to tho delight of her doting parents, who stood by j " ma d«e«."

When Dr. Spurzhtlni', the phrenologist, vlsitad Kdiubutsh, Hocg, tho Ettrick Shepherd, wont to the fouudor of tbo now science tv have his head oxauinad, and tho cranium of tho pastor*! poet wat found to bo covorid with curious buncps, upon tho possession of which the phrenologist highly complimented the ennuy Scotchman, wbo drily rejoined: " My dear mon, if a few knots aud swells make a skull of genius, I can amuro you I'vo seen mony a soft chicl supplied with a swopping intellectual organisation iv less than five miuutos1 fight at Salkirk Tryst."

"You've no wifo, I boliovo !" said Mr Blank to hi« neighbour. " No, sir," wa« the reply, " I never was married." " Ah," said Mr Blink, "you arc a happy dog!" A short tiuio after Mr Blank, iv address ing a married man, said, " You have a wifo, fir?' "Yes, eir—a wife and threo childron.'1 "Indeed," said Mr Blank, "You aro a happy man 1" " Why, Mr Blank," said ouo of tho company, " Your remarks to the nn married and tho married seem to conflict somewhat." "Not at all—not at all, sir, Thero ii a difference in my statements. I'los.so to bo rnoro observing, air. I said the man who had no wifn was a ' happy dog,' and tho man who had a wife was a ' happy man" Nothing conflicting, sir—nothing at all. 1 k«ow what I say, sir!"

'Why of course you want a telephone put in jour house,' said the canvarsar to the business man ; ' will bo ao handy when your wifo wants to talk to yon.' ' Thfro,' exclaimed the buiiness man, picking up a stool, ' that will do.1 I li»toned to you whea yon urged tho point that 1 could ordor piovislons from the butcher, and I looked with favour on your representations that it would uftord unequalled facilities for order ing in the beer, but when you tell mo that the only rost 1 get during tho day i« going to ba ruthlessly busted into through the medium of a galvanised tid-typo, then it mas timo you wore breathing your atmos phere into other ears. Y»u make yourself less adjacent young man,1 He made, The late Dr Colenian was travelling in the wilds of Ohio, and, on entoring an hotel called for dinner. Ho nbtlced upon sitting down at tho table that thoro was a glass of whliky beside nil plate. On re ceiving his bill, ho found the landlord charged him for the whiiky, " But," ■aid the worthy doctor, "I hate made no use of it, and never do.* "It was there, and you could have had it; you must pay." " Vory well," said the doctor. Somotimo afterwards tho doctor was thore again, and before eating ho placed bis medicine caso beside his plate. Alter eating, when paying his bill, he brought in charges "for medicine, " lint," said tho host," "I have not had any." "Ah, but yon conld have had it; it was on tho table 1" siid the doctor.

The colourod voters in tho United States, ara beginning to undcritand politics as well as, if not hotter than, most whito voters. One of tho candidate* for an office at the municipal elootion In Austin net long since relied on an old family sorvant to help him out among (he coloured voters. Tho can didate was beaten. After the election he was told that the coloured political friend had voted against him. Ha did not beliofo it; but meeting him one d»y the ex candi dato said, ' I'll glvo you a dollar Jim, to tell mo whom you voted for.' '1 voted agin you, boss,' ' Well, hero is the dollar for yaur candor.' ' Look heab, boss, if yer gwine to pay for do etndor, I mout »s well own up I voted agin you free different times. Three dollars moah, if you pleaso bos«.

An Object in Lifb.—Whon on the threshold of life it is woll to pause aud ask ourselves what it menus. Life muans some thing. It is big with the future. It is a book, and what wo writs tnorein we cannot uuwiite, Our penis tlmo, our ink indelible. How mnch life means words cannot toll, especially npon its threshold. But we live for a purpose and it is tor young men to dis cover what that purpco is. Too many of thorn take no solemn thought of to-day, nor forethought of to-morrow. Their lives are the sport of what is around them, like thistledown dancing on the breeze—hither, thither, up, down. They have no grand aim. They carry ont no plan of life They fix no murk at which to strike. Thoy run, but thoy gain no race. Thoy may make some noise and buetlo, or they may not, but others merely keep out of their way. JSobody heeds, nobody values them. Their judg ment is not respneted ; thoy leave no track behind them, They have no character to form, no special profession to fill, no trade to follow ; and although they may have fair abilities and be industrious, yot they lack tho one thing needful—an object in life something tleteyauiiate to live for,

FOR THE LADIES.

Mary Ann and her Mother Con sult a Lawyer.

They were in to see a lawyer yesterday— Mary Ann and her mother. Mary Ann was a little embarrassed, but tho old woman waa calm. When they spoke about a breach of-promise case tho lawyer asked : " What evidenca have you got ?" "Mary Ann, produce tho letters," com manded the mother, and the girl took tho cover off a willow ba«ket and remarked that she thought 927 lottors would do to begin on. The other Gsl would bo produced as soon as the case was fairly before the court.

" And outside of those letters?" queried tho lawyer.

"Mary Ann, produco your diary," said the mother, " Now turn to tho heading of 1 Jfrimrose,' and tell how many times this marriage business wa» talkod over."

" The footing is 214 timo9," answered tho girl. " Now turn to the heading of ' Darling,' and give us tho number ot times he lias applied tho term to you." " If I have iigiued right, the total 0,254 times." "I guess you collated preity straight, for you are pood in aritbiniiic. Now turn to the headiug of ' Woodbiuo Cottase,' and tell us how many timoa he has tulkod of such a house for you after marriage." "The footing is 1,395 times." " Very well. This lawyer wauta to bo sure that we've tot a cuse. How many times hai Chtirlio Henry said ho would die for you ?" " Throo hundred and fifty," answered the girl as sho turned ovor a leaf, " How ninny times has ho called you an angel?" " Over 11,000, mama."

" How about squeezing hands V " Ovor 384,000 squeezes." "And kisses?" " Nearly 410.000."

" There's our case," said the mother, as sho deposited basket and diary on the law yer's tablo. "Look over the documents, and if you want anything further I cm bring in a doz-'n neighbours to swear to tacts, Wo suo for IO.OOOdoU. damagen, and we don't sottlo for less than an oißlitj-acro farm, with buildings in good repair. We'll call again next week—good day, »ir I"

Accidental Marriages.

The following is an extract from a letter of Lord Bjrou : -A man should marry by all means ; yet I am convinced the groator part of marriages are unhappy, and this is not an opinion tlut I give as coming from mya«lf; it is that of a vtry excellent, agree able,and sensible lady,who married tho man of her choice, and baa not encouutercd ostensibly any extraordinary misfortune, aa a loss of health, riches, children, eic. She told me this unreservedly, and I Dover had any reason to doubt her sincerity. For all this, I ii«a convinced a mvi cannot be truly happy without a wife. It v a stranue «tato of things wa live in. A tendency ao natural as that of the union of the sexes ought to load ouly to the most harmonious results, yet tho reverse) is tho fact There ia certainly something radically wrong in the constitut ion ot society ; the times arc out ot joint. It is straoge, too, what little real liberty of choice iv exercised by thtae otou who marry acco:ding to waat is thought their own inclinations. Tho dectplions which the two sexes play off upon each other bring as many lli-nsaorUd cuuplos into the bonds of hymen as over ooild be done by iho arbitrary pairings of a legal match maker. Many a man thinks he uiairios by c.koico who only marrias by accident; iv this rospict men hare less tho advantage of woiuuii than is generally suppo«cd.

Russian Courtship.

In Unsaid, tbe cm torn is for couttuhip to begin aft«r tho youig couplo bare ba«n formally betrothed. Every evening tho lover com« to hia(lady'a home with apraeout, which it always something good to oat; gmorally cukes or sugar pluma, Uo make* lotc under rather awkwaj d circimatances, for tbc bridesmaids tit about the betrothed pair in a circle, aiogiag so««s dorciiptire of their happiness. Tho last crcniug of their comUhip ia eolivoncd by the presentation of the gifts of the bridogroom, which must include brashet, combs, soap and perfumery. On receiving theac tha brldoumaiiU instantly carry the bilde away and wash her, dress her hair and poifumn her pockotfaandkor chief. Thus touched up she returis to the company, and tho bride's father gives bis futuro son-in-law the marriago portion, which he takes home with him ia a neat bag. Tho next morning ho returns for tho lady herself, She receives him wilh her hair unbrnidcU and flowing down her back. They are married by the cer. monies of iho Greek churoh, and tho old folk* a over go to the wtddiog dinner, 'i'hoic eternal bridca maids, whom they muttlmtcby this time, are there, however, still on duty, and tho even ing closos by tho brido kneeling down and pulling oil'hcr husband's boots, to prove her intention to bo an obedient and submissive wife Oood-naturod bridegrooms generally hide jewellery or money in their boots, which the bride may tako possession of at a balm for her pride. After the weddinis day tho paroato begin to give feast*, and keep it up for a week; and it is not until all this is ovor that the " young couplo" sre those blo'scd bridesmaids tako their de parture They are then compelled to kiss them, thank them, and give them each a present.

Courtship and Marriage.

With an honourable girl—with an honour able man—an ougagemeut carries with it something more than a few sucny months of courtthip, After courtship cornea marriage. After marriage comos the homo. To describe tho reasons which to come young people seom quite sufficient to justify them, first iv flirting, and then in gotting "engaged," would answer no good purpose.

But—putting aside tho indirect manner in which writers address their readers—lot me spoak frankly to you as a fiiend (o a friend. Let me ask you to consider what you must have in your future husband, have in your future wife, to make it oven tolerablo to spend twenty or thirty or forty years together. I will not insist on the oltmonts which are necostary to tho roman tic perfoction of married lifo ; for moat of vi are common-place people and a lifo of romance is beyond our reach. Thero are some Tory common-place things you ought to make sure of.

Good sound health is one thing ; there are twenty graro reason* f»r Insisting oa it. Noxt to this I Bhould puk pcifect truthful ness ; the man who will lio to other people will lio to his wile ; tho girl who will lie to other people will lie to her husband. Next to truthfulness—temperance, industry and courage. Then, fortitude; that is tho power to bear paiu and trouble without whining. Then, uneollishnass; for the selfish man, tho selfish girl, though drawn out of selfishness in the early weeks of courtship, will settlo back into it again when the wear and worry of life como on.

I slid just now that most of us are common-place people, and (hat a life of romance is out of our roach ; but I believe in " falling in love.1' The imagination should be kindled and tho hoart touchod ; there should bo enthusiasm and even romance in tho happy months that preefde marriage, something of the enthusiasm and romance should remain to tbe very end of life, or else tho home Is wanting in its par feet happiness and grace. The wonderful charm which makes tha wife more to the husband {than all other women, and the husband more to the wife than all other men ; this is necessary to a happy marriage. But take my word for it, those plain solid virtues of which I have spokon are inde pensable to tho security snd happiness of a home; and it is a <hrmo that you are drifting to whon you aro drifting into love. —"Good Words."

Unlike her check, tho path of the proles^ sionul beauty is not a rosy one,

A man's dearest object should be his wife ; but, alas, sometimes it is hia wife's wardrobe,

A woman is not lit to hive a baby who doesn't know how to hold it; and this is as true of a tongue as of a baby. He who courts and goes away, may live to couit another dny; but lie who weds and courts girls still may get in Court against his will,

Every girl should bo broufiht up to mend her own clothes und do a certain share of a youngfr sister's or brother's, or something for her parents.

"Viola"' wants to know what ryhtnes with honeymoon. Well, dear, so far as our observation goes, we think it is uionej snou, aud don't lot your fond husband forgot it.

An impossible feat for a female pedestrian is to walk a thousand miles in a thousand hours past a thousand millinery stores dis playing the latest stylos of spring bonnets,

Printed and Published by tl «\ t if Henry Bbbti1, o(_Synipiwm »^ H General Printing Offlco. Wyndnwn,^ the Province of Auckland, N«w^ fIH

AUCKLAND, N.Z., SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 24 1883.



D. F. Evan s, ESTATB, 11OU3K, AND LAND AGBKT, [TIOR IMMEDIATE SALE.—Handsome P Vll!a Resldonoe, new and wcll-flnlahed, ocntalntng 7 rocirna, fltt«d with gai, water. roKtstor Krate. fcltchon dresser. So., Kc. Nloe Croehold AUotmout, sltaatnd near too of ftank- Hn Road, grand view, and gool position.—U. V. Kvaiu, Kotnto Agent, next Bunk ot An»iral asla, Qneen-street, (697) inOR SALE, Mount Eden, new and' V handeoma gable ended Vllt», containing 5 room?, Boullorr, wnsh-honsp, large olstern, &0,, fitted with ratls'er, kltohen r»nße, cup brords, &.O. Goad poiltion. nula ro»d frontnge, vory desirable fraenold ollotmen', about 50 by 200 Prloo, JJJSS.—D. F. Kvftug, Uatate Ati'M, next" Herald" Olflco, Queen- treet. (660 FOR SALE, Mauku, a very desirable LUtle Farm o£ about 30 nores, newly all suMlvlrted lota itr*es paddocks, orops, fiult trees, &o. So ; a «moll plrca of native bnsh; an abundant eapiily of water: acd (rood House, 7 rooms, stable, oilry, oowshod. piggerlaa, «0., &0., makinK In all o oompiot 'Htle farm, the whole of whioh In orT«rea for £330: situated in pretty position, near Churob, School, &0,, «c.— D. B*. flivane, Estate Agent, Qaeon-sireet, 63a BIIOK SALB cheap and desirable littlo V Kdrra of 115 cored » portion of which is subdivided iDto pttddooli. orohErd, So, hulanco (Bi;oodforn liind, ard a small swamp; all ploughsblo; goort supply of water, together with cow House (G rooms) and nooßßSury out bulidlmjß. besldoß an extensive frco run tor oattloadjoln'njr. Priooon.y £330. D. F. Evtnj, Uatato Agont, next " Herald," Qaeons-street. 6G5 FOX IMMEDIATE SALE, Comfoit able VUla Kosldenoa'ana nood corner Allotment, 50 x 100, situate sear All Saints Ohurch, being oorner of Fomonby Terrace and ijnyaril-utreoi; the Bonso is slmoat new, oon tatos lire ro'ius all In good order, and is tUted with oupboatda, reulslor grate, sa», oven, etc.; WOod-sbo1), waah honse, fowl-house, eto I have posltlvo tnatrnctlona to sell, as 'ho owner la loivinß \noltland.—D. If. Kvans, Katate Axent. naxt " Hermd," Quoonstreet. No. 64?



PITT-STREET, corner of Cross-strcot-Hand Bomo Villu of 5 rooms, vorandah, bow win dow, gablo end. gas and water laid In Price, only £370. „ . . MAKYSTHHE'i1, Mount Edon (near Toll Bar)- Ncvv Six-roomed lloubo, registered grate, oven, wash-house. &c. Price. £150. SPRING-STUKKT. — A Bar K ain.-4 Building Allotments. No.'a: 12,13, U, and 15. loa MO&°NT ><AriBI<:UT-Ncw House of 5 rooms, stable, piifgoi-y. &0., tof?other with about li Bore Kooil volcanic land; Bituatod close to Mount Albert Kali. Prioc. only £275. GKOHOIS AND WILLIAM STREETS, PON SONIiY—Brick Houso of four rooms and Boullory, outhouse, &c; allotmont, 33 x 132; BROWN-STREET, PONSONBY -Verandah Cottage of 6 rooms, rcfiisior grate, colonial oven, dresser, &c; two tanks; allotmont, 40 x 10.9. I'rice, £310. Kasy term*. GItACKSTKEWT.PONSONUY—New and well finished Villa of 5 rooms, pantry, wash house. &c; register grutos, oolomal ovon, 800 gullon tank. To be had a bargain. RAZORHAUK-18 Acro3 Good Land, 26 aoros in grass; oottago of three rooms, cow-shed, piggery, &o.: never-falling supply ot water, Moo, only £250. ' ~. TK MATA, HAG LAN —280 Acres Splendid Land lovel and well watered; situated botween Wliaingaroa and Aotea Harbour. For absolute salo. ~, . PAPaKUKA VaLLKY-30 acres good black Joaiu ana ol«y Land »U nnaer on tlvatlon, Bub-ilvlded into paddoalti and orchard; splendid creek runs ttuouuh the property; Ilduuo of 7 wivou ronmi and oat emoea; within 2 mijw ol Hallway Ht»Uon: «ood ra»(l». \boat wo aore* good land adjoining oan bj either based or purobajed. (612) MAUKU- A Biirgaln-A nice lltti© farm ot 30 acres all cultivated, Uwtther with Now 7 roomed Housa uid all necessary out ofllca; a constant utroam mas throaah the pro party : sltuaiol about 200 yards from Mauku Utinrch. Prloe, only £380. (3!) MVTAKO .E-Part Un 42-10 acres *»iuh, primkauy Icaurl; bcuaded on one aloe by » dcop orork; sl'uitad li miles from town- Bhlp ot Mutakohe. Piloe, £1 lfo per aoio. „ JHiK O'tfU'il.-sTRKIcr, Pox'O.bj—Verandah Cot tauo. 4 rocimn, eouliory. and oallar; oup baaid realstared oven, etc Only J3300 (05fc- KING-<TH HUT, off Oreot North Hoad-i'holce liv ld'nif Allotments Nos. 76, 78, 77, and par) 73. 100 x 153 foet f/-nntan-> to Kiog-*treet and Howe-.troeis; oulllrated. *Tloelor «h» lov £1*). , »" WAITA.SiJI«I—Iot 78-H3 wires good mlxwl both U ooniildorabUi quantity ot K>l»r»>. &l per anro. V&A* K±R*NGAIJIMS ROAD, near Sjrnond* ini vow desirable House, 6 rooms; saod well M«k, out-hon»n. &o. rroonold allot ment, about 30 x 132. The hoow 1» well built, and Ui rkot-ol««i order. (698) KINU-dI'KICICT. 1-uNiOXBY.-New an* Well-anUhod Cable-ended Vllta, 6 rooms and soullwy, fl«e<t with oolonlal ove», r*Kl»tsr itratea, oupboardj, aco.; good well; Rruund nloely laid oui; Drlok oathi, sco.; good rlew; a r»*»ljr preuy Pl»°»- f'}°*> £100. WIU BONU-SPHKICT, NBWTON.-A Bjr K aln._ Houi.o of 7 roomi, &o. Aluo»ni«n», 66 x 1(5. Pruy, odU £265. . _,„ 04.RLKT0S GJRK RO*D-Handsome VJUa containing 7 rooms, baJhroom, larg* o»U»r, waabboase, *0., fee, fitted with oopper, ooptxi»/de, and many other oomforta, ntnau cyin.erof C'arloton Gore Road ando«Btli>l(l Vlow Koad: Bi«nd allotment: «plendlo HUIe gardem; in aU » v*ry deslr»bl« «tnd pi (Htr plao». 1639' ttUSS < i.L-UTKERr (off Qre*t North Koad)-3 AilitmsuU, eooa 3-i x IW). Prlzo, fi!o tor the COnUINGTOW-STUEICT (off Gate North. Riißd)-i Ailoimonu, each W x 116. with fronta««s io 5 •ireotJ'. Prlco, £30 for the lot NOIWLK-STKICKT — Verand»a Coitatce, i room«. ouiiboard, ovan, grates, &0. onlj J32W. <5fl?) FRANKuIN iftOAll (near CoileßO Ro»a)-New and woll-flnlaiod Shop and Dwelling of 7 roomB: wo.t«r l*ld In. Good business pobl tlon. Terinn o«y. »'rlco. £000. (690) OTAUUIIU —Vorindjih UotUgo, i rootu» allntment !5 x 1)1. near PubUo Bohool. Prloa, £190. Tenna : *sHoarh; balance on Baild- Init prlnolplos. («W BtLEltaUK—New »nd w»ll-nnlabod Hand- Bomo Villa, contalnlnß 7 roome, with stable and ont-hmißUi; »Dl»ndld oornor Bllotment, (Xi xr 115. Prloa. unly £160. M „. BLLBU3LrE--Bnlondla VUla Site, planted with orn»m«nt«,l tress, and partly fenced. W«L.IJNGTnN-BTKKKT — New and Woll finlshed Hobsoj Kablo end, bow window, verandah, &0., 0 rooms, nicely fitted tip, vory oonveatent; allotment, 33 x Iw. £IW. tS6« HOWK-BTRHIKT— A. very pretty and compaol Uttlo VUI« of S ronma, puntry, to.; nlo« R&rden ; allotment, 30 x 100; water laid In, &o. «SSO. <*!») PONS' >NBY-Honse. 7 roomg. pan«ry ( store room, Jco,, «a., together with 6 aoron, laid oat in orohard, garden, paddoott, *oj BDlondld bpi» vl»w. ' (611 LINCOLN-aTRKffiT- Vory Comfortable House T rooms, oath-room, pantry, stable, fowN honse. &0., &o.; about bait an aore uld oat In flowor'RArdon,oroh*rd,&o., with entrance to Uraoo atrofit; oou'd be Bubdlvidod to ad. vantaKQ esno. „ . ««>' WOOD•STHKKT-Ooroforteb'o Resldenoo of 7 rooms, fitted with gas and almost every convenience; rplondld allotment, ahoal 140 x 150. all tintetully laid out with floworg, frnlt-tteeß, &o.; urand view ot harbour, fro. OTS) AVONDAI-K lWhan)-Nica little Lot of 9 »ore« near the Station, good land. Price, only «16 per aore. IMS) GRfcAT NORTH ROAD (oorner Of Brl»t»ne and Stanloy-fltreeta)-Two good Verandah Oottaites, with onthoueo. well. &o.: allot ment to onoh 31 x HO. Prloa £3CO tor the lot. <*M 1 EDRN PLA rE, effKyber Pass—Double Honne of 6 roomj and o-Uar. KaodwlU. Prioa. *Bflo. aHBKHAN-BTRKKT, POTJSONBY-NIOOOoV ta«o ; 4 rooms, verandah In tmnt and very comfortable i nosr the Hall. £230. (300) BA.ILItY'B PADDOCK (Newton) —New flat taen of th.ri».o rooms; good wall; freehold allotment 33 x 100; only £130; ea*y torm». PONSONBY TKRBAOK — New House; 7 roomi (not qnlte flni«ho<i); Rood well, tank woodshed. &o.; Rood allotment. SO x 100. all fenoed and slanted. £490. (147) JOHN-BTRSKT, Ponsonby — Cheap Oottaffo, i rooms and noullory, freohold allotment, 40 x 80. prloe only £120. (472) HAOKK r-aI'RKKT, Bear steps to beach, foot ot St. Mary's Road-Handsome VUla, gable ends, dots -windows, and fitted with regis ter grato, oven, ounbonrdu, eto.; allotment 33 x 99 J prios only £380. (Wl> OLARKNOK-ITRKEt — A New and Well fiolnhed Verandah Cottage, i rooms and Bcullory ; fltto4 with reKlPter grate, oven, cupboardu, tanks, oto.: prlta &ZSQ, easy torms MB8) PROSPBOr TlCHßACt—Haudsome and very desirable Honso, 6 roomn, soullery, eto,; rcKlstor crato. ovon, oupboard, Bholves, gas and water laid in, eto.: allotmont 83 x 100; splendid Mttle Harden, oholoe trees, eto. (497 PROSPEOT-STRKrCT.near the Pnneonby HaU, cow and, well-finiched Houao, 6 rooms, roglßter, oven, tank, etc., eto,; allotment 33 x 100, fenood, prioa £315. (514) PAPAKOR<I—Now Ho Me and ontbnlldinw", and 37 aorea real cooi land In orohard, eto., In valuable position Jut at ratlwav stAtioo TUR&NGA UftKßit (near Howick)-A yen cheap little Karra ot 105 aores, part aultl vated, plisnty of timber and water; goad Bouse. &o, (about 17 mllea trom Auckland), Only £22(i. (438) RAZOR BAUK-Fplendld little Farm) 82 aores, large Homestead, and every convenience; about 3 miles from Pokeno Station. (184) OHALMBKHTON-Oompact Uttlo Farm of 160 acres; part in cultivation; splendid orohard; aoofl pieoo ot buth; oroak, &o. Honso an d outbuildlnga almost new. £600, PAPAKURA-A desirable Farm ot SCOaores, part In oultlvatlon, plenty of water. Umber, and beautifully sheltered; good Homestead, 7 rooms, trad necessary onibulidlngs.garden, urohard, &0,, and utook at valuation, it de stced. (317) TUAKAU-Splondld little Lot ot SOaores. nloe pleoo bueh, plenty ot watar ; near station. (4111 BOMUAY-Sloo Uttlo Farm of 20 acres, good Uorneutoid. fen. I'rioo only £220. TK AKAl—lfarm 339 oeres, wun nonsa and all lmarovetaentß for £1000, MOUNT JibaN Handsome VUla Resldenoe oontalnir.u 5 Reonos, besidea Pantry, Soullery, &a.; all In first-class order, wltb Stable iiugio'-noußß, Cowshed, ice, tec, together with 9 acrea Volcanic Land, aub divided, and a portion planted. Terms easy If desired. 504 WAIKATO—NIco little Farm of 27 aores. Im proved; good position; nloe house of flvo rooaisand ont-houaea. Oni> £Ut). (231) WHARKHINit—IBO aores ot very valuable Bush-totara, purlri, kauri. &c—ln goad position, cheap. (521 WAIIAKKKKI-30 aoros good Land, partly improved; plenty ot water, corner lot, Only £30. (511) NGRTIICO IS— Splendid Building Allotments at from £'ia oach, PAPAROA--160 aores good Bush Land (oheap), AND NUMKROOS OTHKR PROPKRTIKa- Btißh Lands, Improved Farms. Building Bltoo, Businoaa Promlaes, tco., tor Sola oo application to D, F. EVANS, House, l/lnd, and Kstatb Aoknt, uubkn-gxrisbxkhksi !'hbbaw")«



TTITCaENS'S RESTOrFr^ FOli CLEANSING, PURIFYING AnTi INVIGORATING THE BUiOD. Seven Years' Test in Auckland. rpHIS Medicine differs from ordinary dm X prietary preparations, inasmuch aa it was tho product of yeais of ntudy and investigation by an eminent physician of tho Army Medical Staff, with whom Mr tfttchons served during tho New Zealand War, a* Assistant Dispenser to the Im. perial Fgrcca. On it« introduction to the public as a I upecific for the cure of Kueumatiam ' Kheumatic wout, Scrofula, Skin DiseaW ' 1 Blood Impuritiea, and General Debility i' '■'■•'■ quickly attained great celebrity, and soon t wa» «ought after from every part of New Zealand. i Ib curative and depurative properties have been fully testified by the numerous testimonials roceived by the proprietor from patunts who had long suflgred from the above distressing maladies, who had an. plied in vain to physicians for relief, aodin m -whose eosss, Turkish Baths, Hot SprinW iwii other popular renudioi had been n. sorted to without effect. This celebrated medicine is compounded from product* of »he vegetable kingdom, is palatable and cisily t»ken, mild, but«ffec tual, In its action upon the animal econ- 9 omy. It is, in aooib, a veritable Blood ; Kestohir cleansing it, and thereby restor. X ing diminished vitality. It presents, nn- [ questionably, a purer, safer, better, and more reliable alterative medicine than any that has hiiheito been available to the people! , . MUKtf TESTIMONY I SURPRISING CUKE To thOßo who know what ; -j • > H ITCUENS' OLOOD RESTORER HAS DONf. In the Auckland EViMNO STAB of the 27th April lust, appeared the following • 1 local, which explains itstlf :— The brig Bella Mary, from Melbourne in ballast, bound for Kaipara, put into har bour yesterday morning to obtain medical ■ aid for Captain Owenr, master of the vessel, who boa been very unwell duiing the litter part of the voyage. Captain Owtna,' who ],' has felUwod tho ceafarinj profe-<ion for many yean, an i had never until leaving ' Melbourne on Apiil 10th last, Bartered from >] 1 illness of any severe nature, was suddenly Mizod on that date with violent puiiis i-n the b.ck. Since then he naa botm nwung up in a hammock in the cabin quite helpless. The veisel '' ■wa» off Kaipara at noou on Thursday last, but the weath'r lxi»g thick and foggy, it w*« d*emed advisable to come on to Auck land for medical aisitttncc. The barque \ < arrived early yesletdsy mnrniag, and JJr Muore having bf en sent for, visited Capt, \ Ow«ns, and gave instructions to tho mate of the venstl regarding treatment. The invalid is suffering from a species of r,1 ihcumatiim of a severe nature, and the doctor considers it advisable to effect a partial recovery before attetupiiog tha re moval of Ids patient to more snitable j» ■ quartern on shore. Capt. Oxrens is well- I known ia Auckland, and many reeidants will be »orry to learn of his affliction." Referring to above, Captain Owen hai'T* this day (Ist December), stated.- "After being treated for about five weefcs by two medical men successively, with, very little ifel1 alteration in my condition, except that tlis pain ia my hands and back was made $ somawkat easier through the effect of the galvanic battery, I felt a gradual sinking that told me the dread end was not far off, aud one of my visiting friends tuggested that I should try whit Kitchen's Blood"-, Bottsror would do, as it was being so talked about far aud wide. Without much j faith iv it, I consented to try it, but did not notice any good effect until I had taken about the third or fourth bottle, when my ' appetite decidedly quickened, and I felt ■ th-it my strength was coming back to me, ' I then ceasnd to take tho medicine, and allowed nsturo to take its course, bat' finding my appetite going, I stimulated it by »mall doses of the Kestoror, using do " other medicine, bnt applying the ointment ( , freoly. By degrees my whole system seamed to be invigorated; and now, alter a; treatment of six months,! am able to re- I sumo charge of my versel, and am only waiting her arrival in port to do to. I can easily walk four miles a day without lit slightest inconvenience, ; I consider my friend's suggestion saved my life, and that :* it is a doty that I should publicly testify to . . the extraordinary power of Hitehens's Blood | Restorer over the severest cases of rheamat- | Ism." ' -" W-- W. M.-OWE». Tho agents will bo happy to «bew \\, original manuscripts of the several pub* ; lished testimonials auent tho Remedy,nit» scores of others not yet published, ■:. m 1. D. NATBAN&Co. yyE HAVE THIS CELBBRAXED AND FAVOURITK BKAND BASS'S. ALE & GUINNESS'S SIOUI , Always in Stock, L, P. NATHAN & C(V 1882-3 tFIs. l®-£ w.e^ g Ti7 r « n y.BSff ;';" ex Gangeß. ' .... ' '■■ ' p ' 3148 PAOKaOKS, Conslstlner o' EXTRA CHOICE KAISOWS & CHOICE & MEDIUM CONUOUft Of neat twisted even leaf, and verr &<** T'" and rloh flavour. 126 BOXES CHOICEST MANDAE'S . SCJSNTED OKA.NGB PEKOis. above,wlthahout j. 2000 PACKAGES OF FINE" 4 QUALITIES ; (Balanoe of First Paroel), 300 PACKAGES OF ASSAM A»» ;, DARJEELINGS, Enable us to offer a vory Kara Seleonon i bujers. : Our Fooohow oorrespondente Inform u*^ teven-teaths ot last Bhlpmout was aecniw BXCBPTI ON ALLY CHEAP BATSS,. md w« are determined to give oar clients FULL BBNBFIT OF THIS, L.B. y^B^ • rroLLIS'S WEEKLY MMB-TAl»* . LeaveOnehungai * I*aT8 nAsI B S adl | v 8.0 a.m. ' "io P .m. 9.45 a.m. 9 iinn). '■• 11.15 a.m. 2.op. m> 12.0 noon eiopiuu 1.0 p.m. 7.0p-m> 6-30P-«"' Mondar,llP* returiTfark ii is. ffl»» : SINGLES FARE' "*• —-"