A ROYAL BULL FIGHT.

From the "Daily News.

GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF THE GREAT SPANISH SPOKT.

Madrid, May 26th, 1831. Although, technically speaking, the Cal dcrou fetes were not inaugurated by the great bull fight which took place last Sun- Say in this singular capital, there can be but little doubt that to the major portion of the Madrilofios it appeared that the festival in honour of Spain's great poet was being fitly heralded by the spectacle which they were promised'should be shown them as soon after morning church service as cou ■venient in the Plaza de Toros. It was a brilliant day, and the sun glared upon the white buildings of the city as though it would melt the eyeballs of its inhabitants ; yet carpenters were hard at work all over the capital putting, tip wooden and plaster statues to Calderon in every corner, long lines of flags, triumphal arches, festoons ot colours, and pillars for illuminations. Suddenly, as if by magic, from the churches mostly, I. suppose, from the cafe's and from their couches, issued ladies by thousands, all weariug the bcautitui mantilla, and in no case without the national fan ; thousands, too, of men Ot almost every hue, from the pale northerner to the dusky Manilla negro, dressed in every conceivable costume, were to be seen, all rushing into vehicles as though a mo ment's delay might be absolutely fatal, and then driving away at a pace that defies description. Never wa3 such a helter skelter as that which now set in, not even on the road to Epsom on a Derby Day when the crowd is liveliest and the pace tho hottest. Pandemonium mounted m "shandrydans" of every description, driven by insane whips—such was the rabble which set out all at ouoo for the scene of the Royal Bull Fight. • ~ . , The Plaza de Toros at Madrid is one ot the most remarkable buildings in the world. In general appearance it must very "reatly resemble the old ampithcatrc. It is built in the stylo in which those of ancient Italy and Greece w. re constructed, ami it will hold some fifteen thousand per sons when all arc seated. From the out side it simply presents a huge circular rev stone wall, rising high in the air, and some what sparsely accommodated with windows; but wheno'nee the huge portal is pas ?ed and the inside gained, the magnificence of the • structure bursts upon tho stranger. In the centre is a largo ring covered with white sand, and encircled by ft solid wooden fence about eight feet in height, loftier, yet like those used for our English circuses, fitted all along its inside with a step which is contrived so that a man chased by a bull may get his foot upon a sufficiently advan tageous elevation to allow of his swiftly vaulting over the barrier out of reach of the infuriated beast. Tliero have been instances in which the animal has cleared It also, but thede, it seems, are rare. Still, to guard against the possibility of the bull getting in amongst tho spectators another and still higher fence encompasses the first one at a distance of about a yard and a half from it, so that no danger can possibly accrue to the ladies and gentlemen who have come to enjoy the national pastime. The spectators are seated on tiers of granite benches, rising one above another all round the ring to a great height, above them bcin' T a row of woo-Jcn seats, cushioned, for grandees and distinguished legislators, the Royal Box for King and Queen, and still higher up a number of private boxea, the logos being so high indeed that their occu pants can only bo recognised by .the aid of a strong opera glass. The people, till the moment of the ceremony commencing, wan der about at will in the ring, scanning the names of the men who are about to imperil their lives in the various encounters arranged for the day, and betting upon them just as did the citizens of Rome and Pompeii upon the gladiatorial shows. Indeed, once change the costumes of the spectators from tho surtout to tho toga, and there would be nothing left in all that followed to make you think you were not Still living in tho first or second century. 8 Asllook down upon the careless hundreds who have come specially to witness tho spectacle of blood and to enjoy it, saunter ing about the central ring and arranging their wagers as to the chances of escape which this "banderillero." or that "espada'! or "picador" may have of losing his life, a loud blare of trumpets announces that tho time for the spectacle has arrived, and that the people must take their places. There is a hurried movement to the granite seats, not one of which long remains empty, a hoarse murmur of readiness, and then the entertainment begins. I should here men tion that communicating with the ringi'and . opening upon passages which, passing be neath the granite benches, Jcad to the cells where the bulls are confined or to the placo where the actors wait, aro four large iron doors, one of which fronts the Royal box, and that ere the fight begins it is customary ' for all who are to take part in the battles except of course the bulls, to enter the ring at one of these doors, and to parade in front of the King. That august personage having arrived, accompanied by his Queen, and attended by his Court, it now remains only • therefore for this promenade to take place.

Wide open then fly the great doors, and tlirongh them comes a procession such as one never sees except in pictures or here. First ride two masters of ceremonies, clad In black velvet dresses of patterns hundreds of years old, largo ruffles, and vast " som ?jreros" or rolling hats, ornamented with ostrich feathora. Then the " espadas "or swordsmen, clad in costumes like those of our conventional pantomimic harlequins, only that they wear little gold capes on their shoulders and the Spanish round hats on their heads. These come on, sword in hand, at a'stately pace, in a line, but some yards apart, followed by the "banderilleros," or men who use a pointed piece of wood, or dart, armed with steel and. ornamented with coloured paper, the said "banderil leros" being clad like the " C3padas," though with perhaps a little less gold on their shoulders, Next there march the "capeadores," a dozen men or so, all tightly dressed in the harlequin costume, fcut holding in their hands voluminous cloaks of red and black or green and gold, following whom, mounted on most sorry steeds, arc a number of "picadores" or lancers, armed with long wooden weapons, slightly tipped with tiny pieces of steel, sufficient to send a bull mad and to jag his shoulder and neck, but Dot large enough to check him if he be_ determined to rip up the horse on which the "picador" is mounted. Lastly arrive two lots of three horses, harnessed together, and, pulling chains and hooks behind them, the scaven gers of the ring, to be sent presently to drag the dead bodies of bulls or horses. Forward tramps this brilliant show as the

. music rings out; the people cheer, the •;■ King bows, the ladies ■ of' Madrid shriek J: .with joy and wave their handkerchiefs, and, amid a scene of tempestuous excite ment, all hut the scavengers arrauge them selves in the ring and await the coming of ■': the bull. ' . To understand what followed.it should i. be explained that a bull fight in. Madrid consists of three acts. The .first is that.in. which the "picadores" and their steeds,

together with the " capcadoros " who bear the flowing cloaks, combine to enrnge and bewilder the bull.. "When this is over—ami it may cease at any moment by command of the people—the act of the "banderilleros bcins, one which, as yon will presently sec" involves the utmost peril to human life. The third act is that in which the "cspada" enters and kills the bull with the sword. It so chanced that the first animal which was down on the list, a huge power ful brute with horns eighteen inches long, was not quite the fiercest that might have been found. He hesitated to leave las cell and come out into the midst of the howling, screaming circle, and would probably have kept where he was had not something in the shape of fire been resorted to. W;ien he did make his appearance, however, lie was evidently very furious, and at once rushed at a "capeador," with the intention of goring the man. • A ■moment sooner and he would have un doubtedly accomplished this, for the onslaught was so sudden that the fellow had hardly time to wave his cloak in the face of the bull and vault tho fence before the bull's horn had caught one of his legs and rent it. Still he escaped, and the animal at once mado for another foe. He, too, narrowly got off; saved, however, not so much by his own nimbleness as by the sharpness of another "capeador, who, just when tho bull h»d nearly caught his com rade, and had, indeed, knocked him down, so artfully trailed a cloak ia front of the creature's nose that it forthwith gored the garment and trampled upon it for hall a minute, giving both men time to escape, and half a dozen more "capcadores time to come up and worry him with their cloaks into tho bargain.. Filled with rage, he now dashed at a horse and tried with all MS might to rend its stomach, but the " pica dor" was skilful, and so lacerated the ■bull a shoulders with his lance that the creature desisted, and, covered with blood, made a fresh attempt upon the men. All to no purpose, however ; cloak after cloak trailed in fiont of him successfully misled him till at length ho made for another horse, suc ceeding in goring both it and its rider to such an extent that tho pair rolled over on to the ground together, and were only rescued by the never-failing cloaks. There was now a loud uproar, for the bull was, m the opinion of the Spanish public, not thoroughly up to, its work, and needed more tantalising— a great cry for the "ban nerilleros" went up. Instantly the pica d >ros" disparted, and the three men, carry in" each two little darts of wood, made their appearance in front of the bull.. He, irritated by their fiery costumes, was not slow in rushing at <one of them with lni head dowo, and to all appearance would have had his enemy in the air in another instant, when the " banderillero," giving a spring and pushing his arms between the. bull's horns, contrived to plant the two sharp points of his darts in the neck, after wards, by a marvellously adroit movement, taking advantage of the sudden pause which this shock caused the animal to make, to dash on one side and to avoid the point of his horn. To say that the bull was furious now that the two pieces of wood hung from his bleeding neck, and rocking to and fro in the air, gave him horrible pain, scarcely conveys an adequate idea of the. creature's state. He dashed on one side and on the other, rushing nfter " banderilleros" and " capeadores witli such force as nearly to overthrow himself against the fence by which they escaped, but always being balked either by means ot the cloaks, the darts, or the fence, till six darts had been safely planted in his neck, and the act thus linished. It was time for the "espada" to appear; and he came in with great cere mony. Armed with a long sword and a red cloak, he advanced to the front of the Royal box, where, facing the King, hat in hand, he made an oration to the effect that either ho or the bull must now die, and then, bowing, advanced to the bull. The animal was not unready for him, for he made at once a tremendous dash, covered as he was with blood, and maddened by the six darts that still hung in his flesh ; but the attack was useless, for the " cspada" was a skilful man. It is etiquette to allow the bull to charge in this manner seven times, and this the bull did ; but all to no purpose. The swordsman was always on the alert, only once having to fly for his life, and then being shielded from the horns of his adver sary by the cloaks of tho "capadores," till it camo to his turn to assume the offensive. Now all eyes Were lixed upon him. Would he strike or wait ? There was a stillness in tho air, tho cloak was in front of the bull, the sword was hidden'beneath it. Down went the animal's head ; there was a short rush, and then the weapon was seen to enter the back of the bull just to the left of the spine, close behind the ears, and pierce the huge carcase up to the very hilt. A long breath seemed to be drawn by tho spectators, as all expected the bull to fall. But no; the animal made another rush, this time right across the ring with the sword through its body. A fresh weapon was handed to the'" espada"; there was another exhibition of the cloak, another pause, and then the'now blade flashed in the air, there was a thrust—and the'bull fell dead. Now entered the scavengers with their teams, to draw the dead bull away, while the " espada" retired amid the enthusiastic cheers of the crowd.

The dreadful scene of the day wav, how ever, yet to come, for a young Miircian bull of a dull dun colour had not entered, though he was already being tormented by his keepers in the- cage. ;• Scarcely had his comrade been dragged forth than out ho came into the centre of the ring with a bound, lashing his sides with his tail, and looking viciously round. The "picadores" had by this time. entered, and on their blindfolded horses had taken up'their posi tions at the sides of the ring near the fence ; the " capeadores" were all in their places, and the excitement was intense, for yonr Madrid connoisseurs of bull lights knows when an animal is going to, give trouble the moment he sees him, and the occupants of the amphitheatre were all sure that the Murcian bull was a wild one. In an instant the .creature was across the ring, and had rushed at one of the horses. In vain its rider caught the infuriated assailant with the point of lu'a lance: in vain he pushed as hard as he could to stave off its terrible horns; the bull would not be denied, but in spite of lance, and rider, and horse's feet, pushed his horns into the stomach of the wretched creature, and turning them round actually ripped up the entire belly, tearing out the whole of the entrails, and tossing the rider into the air. Down went the horse, and up rushed the "capeadores," succeeding in diverting the bulls attention; but; for a-moment only, for the bull had cleared half the ring once more and had rushed at another horse that he saw in front of him. For a time it seemed as though this too must share the fate of the other, for the hprns were under it and the bull could not be kept off, but by some miracle the animal passed beneath without doing more than upsetting the "picador," and was upon another horse before a single " capeador " could come up. With more success this time the huge horns were able once again to disembowel the horse and dethrone the rider, and the bull was left free to attack a fresh horse, and to serve it in similar, manner. To a stranger, mot a Spaniard, the sight was now'horribly revolting, for three horses lay struggling

upon the.ground >vrth Jlie wl">l? Pi tueir insidos torn out, anil the bull, from the etlorts of the "-picarlorcs," was bleeding rapidly from its jslipuldci\s. Worse was) howover, yet to follow. With .i roar like that of a lion, the bull now dashed over the ring once more, i He. had seen the; first horse he had attacked trying to-straggle; all "6ventr6" as he' was, from the graund, and lie resolved to attack him ngnin. ¥.p he rushed, and, standing over the wrstehed creature, whose eyes had been closed by bandages, he began once more to gc*a.- him, this time,rending open his neck audinart of his shoulders, and so pushing •■ hiia agamst the fence in one mangled lump. Happily the horse was by this time nearly 3fcad, but the sight of ita torn body, was on* which I could scarcely support. The: bull waa evidently mad. So said the IMadrilleuos, who for that reason now thoaght it was time the " banderilleros" shoald. enter, and run a risk of their lives. So>. in obedience to the command of aristocratic-Madrid, the iwor fellows with the darts entered, and began their desperate work. Over and over again they triett, at the iiaminent peril of their bodies, to plunge ia_ the barbed arrows, and over and over again the plung ing bull made them Uy for safety. But their superior intelligence gradually triumphed, and two by two the darts were affixed, till, tearing with rage, the bull stood in tho centre of the ring waiting the 11 eapada." What this gentleman's name was is not so much to the point as that he was very nearly an amateur, having been a lawyer in his earlier days. . He was. not tho one who had entered at first, and grave doubts existed whp-her he could kill the bull. However, in he came, mada the usual speech, and approached the infuriated beast. The charges were duly made, and now wa? the time for the thrust, when it became apparent that without the aid of the "capeadorea" the "espada" had. no more chance of giving a satisfactory 'thrust than ho had of eatiug his enemy. Over and over again he tried; with always the same, result. He would get his sword a little way into the neck of the bull, and then leaving it there would, dance away .with the animal after him, only to be saved > by the cloaks of the "chulos," or "capea dores" ; then he would have a fresh sword brought him and try again. From loss of blood the beast almost fainted, and there was a pause. Then came another rush, for the indominable spirit of the bull was not ', yet conquered. Another stab .followed, but with only this success, that'it seemed i to daze the bull for. a moment and make : him fall on the ground; still that it had 'riot killed him was demonstrated by the fact that the animal got upland made anohter bound. The Madrid'" seno'res " were by this time delighted. .' There' was blood tloSving enough even for them, for Several men had been slightly hurt, three horses killed, one seriously injured,, and the bull was bleeding from a dozen wounds. Down fell the Murcian, but not to die—he rested. There was a cry for the slaughter man to coiue up and strike the beast, and that official now stepped forward. No sooner had he done so, however, than once more the poor brute rose and essayed ,to walk away, bearing the sword withhim. No cloak or man could now tempt him to attack. Slowly he moved round the ring, followed and surrounded: by a crowd, of butchers, disdaining them all, for three or ftmr minutes, when from,'lftss of blood, and without another fight for life, he sank to the ground for the last time, and then died in agony. . '-.'.'•'

I felt I could stay no longer to look upon the rest of tho "entertainment"— the dis mal slaughter had.unnerved, me." To the people of Madrid, however, it was by uo means destitute of amusement, for they now composed themselves to witness the afternoons proceedings with becoming satisfaction, and refreshing themselves with oranges, "aguardiente,1 and cigarettes, shouted hoarsely for the next bull and the "picadores." "They love it" said a native of Madrid to me as we went out together, " and sooner than give iip their bull-fights they would have a revolution." I should say, from what I saw last Sunday, that he was right. r ,

A CLEVER NIHILIST.

Periiap3 the shrewdest of all the would»be regicides, who3e machinations were discovered after the death; of. the Czar, wore the two peasants known under the namo of Kobozeff— the man and wife who escaped from the hands of the police. In January last appearediin the . St. -Petersburg police office a peasant who gave his name as Kobozoff, ■: He said that he: had i loasod for one year the basement of a house on the corner of Little Garden-street and l the Fovsky Prospect, and that ho wanted to open to open a ohooae and butter store. He was given the necessary permit... But, as ho had Bnown I more intolligeuco than is expected of a peasant, the police decided to get further information. According to his pass; Kobozeff belonged to a village ■-of the: province of Voroneje. The authorities of the village- informed the St. Petereburg police that, there was unquestionably a peasant by the name; of Kobo zoir. This quletod the police, though the gen uino Kobozeff had never left i his province Latter the dvorniki (porter) of the house noticed that the wife of Kobozeffsmoked i cigarettes and sometimes wore a hat, things unusual in the caso of peasant women. This again -aroused : the i suspicion. of • the , police, i > andl' Spies reported : that, . though . iKobozeff :paid < a rent of 100 roubles a month, he took in from his trade soarcely five roubles a month, since he had to compete.witli an 9ld and - large cheesestoro closo by.; It was discovered also that in the night.suspicious persona visited the ;Kobozeffs and remained until morning.- ''I4JI these■ reports led tho captain!of the police district to suspect that a nine might bo under way, and ho> reported to the.-.• Governor of the city.- Tho ; latter -~ directed ' tho City Engineer, General Mrovmaky,; and a number of police : officers to investigate tho. Kobozeff premises, alleging the damp ness and unhealthy condition »f the store as the cause. : . ■•'■> '■■> ■ '•'•■• '■■ '■ -■ ■ The investigation took place in the evening. Pointing to two-big barrels,: the City Engineer asked, -rWh.at is thatr -. "Cheese," was the answer. In a comer of a room was a heap of hay laid over something black. ■" Why that hay!" asked the Engineer. "To cover our cheese." "And what is there underneath V " Coke," answered Kobozeff, picking up a piece of coke and showing it to tho General.- " Move these things away, ordere 1 tho General, point ing to a sofa and a large, trunk standing against the wall on the street side. Kobozeitf did it, though with great difficulty. ."iWhy did you make that?" asked tho Engineer, pointing to a new board partition that ran close by the stone wall. '-'To prevent dampnoss/' .The General delivered a little lecture on tho danger from the decomposition of the cheeso crumbs that.might fall behind the partition. Peasant Kobozeff re spectfully bowed.. While this investigation was going on KobbzefTs wifo was.quietly transfer ring butter from one bucket to another; -Gen. Mrovinsky and the police olHcers reported to the Governor that thero was. nothing suspicious about tho storo of Kobozeff. •- .. . ,- . ,

On the next day, March 13, the Czar, was killed;. Kobozelf was in his store on that day and on the following two days; but on the 17th the porters noticed that the Kobozefls were gone. -The polico authorities arrived, and to their amazement, discovered that the barrels, sofa, and trunk were filled with earth; that a large heap of earth had been covered with hay and strewn with pieces Ci coke, and that the i wooden partition hid the opening of the mine run under Little Garden street. The Czar's experts, on an investigation, came to the con clusion that a more perfect mine could'nt be made The residents of St. IPetessburg, on learning all the facts concerning the mine, dynamite manufacture,. and experiments with bombs, were both panic stricken and enraged against the Czar's police. "There can be no safety with such a police," was heard everywhere. The now Czar had no choice? but to put his police under a now control. >. j ■

The Attorney-General in his speech, which lasted five hours, tried to prove that the Nihilist movement was not the product of Russian soil, but was the fruit of evil seed from the Kuropeanplant called socialism. The relentless extirpation of the evil elements was, in his opinion, the only sure means of saving Russia from a bloody revolution. ;. ,{• ■:.'*.'' T "You will live to repent of your unwise ad< vice,"saidKicaitchlch.--.- -■>•-•> ;

BITS OF FUN.

A bridal couple j ifrom Washbe Valley, at: breakfast conversed as follows :-He:- Shall I skia your pertater, honey?" She: Ne..UianK you, dearie, T havoono.already skuuned- , .t "Well," said Bilfkins, majestically,, "we mustn't be too severo-on? the young fellows.' I suppose I wua as big a fool as any of them.whon- I was young.". " Yos," replied Fogg, '"and you ore not an old man now, Bilfkins. 'Compassionate old lady (paying her.fare)— " How jaded your horso looks, cabman,; is not the bit uncomfortably largo-for his.inouthi Cubby—" It ain't tho big bit in his mouih, mum; it's tho small bit in Ms stomach, tha result 01 hard times, mum." • V ■ .

Law Professor^-" What constitutes burg lary?" Student-^-" Therb must ba breaking." Professor-" Then,, if. a man enters your door and takes £5 from your veat pocket in the hall; would that be burglary 1" ( Student—"Yes, sir! for that would break me." . _.. , . .

A Conscious Martyr.-^-" Why, are you so cross. Angela I" ..'' Oh! because I hate selfish ness. Aunt! and they are all of Ifcem so selfish ! " What have they done?" " Why, they all want to go on the river, just when.!; want toiplay lawn-tennis 1" " Well, you. needn't go with theml" "Of course I needn't; but how am Ito play lawn-tennis all by myseWt—Punch. Flagrant Injustice:—Our'Deaf Neigh bour (to Lady seeking "an. appointment as Cook")—" What Ba? 1 Why did you- leave your last placel*'-Lady—"My last app'intmeat.i Why, sir, 'cos I'd stipperlated for a Darby day hout,' .and they wanted to put me hoff with a ' Hdaks." 1 —funny \F6lk& ' - ■'■-■■ '■'■ '••}; "

■ " MkrjiciNk iMade Easy."'—Brown— . " Yes. miss, I dew look'prooty well, but;! suffer horfulfrom rheuma&tib gout." Young'lady— , " Well, Brown} why don't you go to tha dispen sary down there and get something for it I'■ B. — "Noa, noa, miss, my wifo 'a a-taakin' physic from theer fur bronkiters, an' now an then I takes" a good long suck at it." Y. L.— Well, but, iti might be quite wrong .in your case, Brown." B.—" Well, you see, miss, what I ses is this, what"s sauce for the gooso is sauce lur the, gander l"—Fttn.\ '•■'■ '''■ ■';:' '• '■'■ ' ■■•'•■■' Instinctive Criticism;— Anamusing story is told of a young Parisian artist, who painted a portrait of v duchess, with which her friends werq not satisfied, declaring that it was totally unlike. The painter, however, wfts convinced •he had succeeded admirably; and proposed that »ho question'of !r6somblanca or no resemblance be left to a little dog i belonging to the duchess, which was agreed to. Accordingly the picture was "sent to the hotel of the ladynext day, and a large party assembled to witness the'test.'' -i He dog was calledin, and no:sooner.did he see the portrait than he sprang upon,% licked xM. over, and showed every demonstration or tne greatest joy; The triumph of.1 the painter was complete, and all present insisted- that the pic ture was retouched:during theflight, which was actually so—the painter Eavingrrupbea.it, over With a thin coating Of lard!,- The dog'S.no3o was sharpor than the'critic's eyes. ' • ■ - ,

THE'MEkpfcANDUM'MAN.^Ten minutes after the Flint'a'rid-Pore Mtrfquette1 train had pulled out of'the depot: yesterday a young man ■with a grab-bag in his. hand/and a cigar ;iu Jus month sauntered in as it ie had half-an-hour to spare. - After, Walking Up and down "for. about five minutes-he 'at the. tioket window and asked, ''Has the Flint train gone yet! "Yes a quarter of anhour ago." ; ;* The deuce 1 Why, I was to.go.on that train," •• vvell, you didn't." "Thafs so, andl, amplacedjin-an em barrassing situution;11 was to'bo married to a girl up the road to-night. I :No other train, Jsup poae 3 " " No, sir.-. "-And I can't get thaw 1 •' Perhaps you could hire's locomotive., Ah I perhaps I could. I'll finish my smoke, 'and go and see about it.^ Affertheend of his cigar had been reduced until the lire had warmed his nose, the iyounK man went upstairs and: said tq the superintendent, " Could you, "ah, for a.&out flvo or six dollars, ah, give me a locomotive O3 far as Flint ah?" "No, sir." Ah, you can't. Well, that's badish. ,l;was to have been married at six o'clock this evening. I might say seven dollars for a locomotive. ". And you might say Bevto times that." " Couldn't doit—pon honour, couldn't, though 111 go down and smoke another cigar and perhaps makeyou an offer..after a, time." He lit another cigar, and paced up and down and all at once began hunting his pockets. He shortly pulM' out a note-book, aaft ftlwc running over the leaves, he approached the ticket-seller and said, "I find. thafl am saved. "HowJ" "Here.lt is, just as I wrote it down last fall! 'Mem.: The said; partyof the first part-which is me-agrees to wed the said party of the second part-which is- Helen,-on jho evening of April 4th, 1881, vrgmdfd that bliz zards floods, broken bridges, railroad delays, or other acts of Providence" permit.' I always make a main, of these things to save misunder standing*.' I missed the train, and that comes under the head,railrpad delays, eh! JL tlunK 50.7, VAndshe has no grounds for a brdach of promlsel" "Can't see any." "Nor E. • Sly con science teUs me that I ought to offer about nine dollars for a locomotive to run me up there, and if refused 111 go..back to the hotel, a nd take things till to-m.orrow. Are you married?^ No. "Going to be!" '"I—l expect so." "Make a mem. of it and give plenty of latitude for delays. It's only business, but you've ;got 'en* tight as a wedge. Mom. it right do wn in black and white, andtf they talk.sassyshow^em'the door. Bye bye, old fellow-Bee you' later.-/>efroi(, i?ree ■ ¥reaa: ■■'■ '' <■•■"-: - :t :■' ' ;':/'' n. ■ An admiring Ihthet: There was: joy on 'the farm whon;Ben,; the, oldest hoy, came back from college in his 3op'homoreyear,and|tlie village was proud of him. .^Cheese it, cuUy,"ho said .when he met an old friend, the son of a neighbour who joined farms with his father; "cheese it, cully, shove us ypur-Jflipper,'clench dadles, pardy. How's hisinibs,.and.whafs'ithe new racket?. And his proud-old_father_aaid. "It was just . .worth more'n twice't .the -money to hear Ben rattteoifGreetejtfflt Uke a; litrin' latiguagein. I

Wife, just retvlrriefi' From a shopping tour— "Come and see what I-hove-brought for you, Eugene."! Eugene-rAh; just like you, darling, always thinking of me V'n He! advances ns;lus wife removes the. wrapping and. exposessgino fine drawings from aneighbouring niai;bl6,-yara. Husband starts back,-and.exclaims excitedly: "Gracious; Laura] what;did you. bring: these thingshore :for!'<. . Thoughtful;, wife—:', Well, Eugene, I heard you complaining of feeling un well this morning', jand t I thought you'd; like to look at some tombstone: patterns, i .<■■ .;•. yj ' .; Architect' (tci.ti.e, ijewvo 'Ritch;' who '■ is con 'sidering'.thefrofit'elevsUbn'of'a'projected resi dence): "If you 'do"iibt:like.those towels,,Jlr Bitch, we can'have tnem.eliminated.";."3)e Npwvo Ritch:, ," T.hey?re real Tian'sbnte; asr.they TSa; but- \t 'lixnairiatiri'Oh 'eta. wwildniakOTeru han'sonier, iet's;hrtv,e'fe&'.'lljnmated.", ..';'!'••'.'.!,' i ::; Acontemporanr.'Hti describing a meeting of a total ab3flneßce'' society, 'says that they'had a most harmonious'and'profitable meeting;' and retirefl from the'haUfuU of;" spirits." ■ T'-'~':i I .Thelatest rage amongsyoung jladies ; is to possess .an old-fashionodi spinning wheel ..for a parlour ornamentj. The desire to possessmn old-fashioned1 wash-board, and tubas a kitchen ornament- doesn't rage-much- among nyoung ladies. They are as handsome as the spinning wheel, but ■they-are not fashionable

• • Didiyou evw>hbtice,i tfce bigger thei woman thelsraaller tltt-hat<K-Ifs-your delicate little fairy; whose lightly falling tread scarce.bends . the daisy that it falls supon,; who wears a hat aa i broad as a coal barge, with a cluster of old gold plumes over it that would shut out the sunyiike a palm leaf fan

.; He whb'lives happily through theshort rose days of his yotiih and.'£ar'away from envy tad o jniplalning Btrivos' to be good, still enjoys the daya of his youth 'vtheii the winter, of life ap proaches, and contentment aid' virtue scatter flowers along fciaTarn.' Without fear ;and without anxiety he can toot before and behind. . Studies frdm.Lifei^Sloper's • youngest",ha? artistic tastes.^ Thoothci«day he got hold of a slato and penoll: "Auntie-Hannah,";said;he (his Auntie Hannah' is < a fine stately •woman, with a Roman nose), "Auntie Hannah,go down on your hands and knees a minute on the hearth rug," " Good' gracious I why "■" Because I want to draw a camel/ ' ~ * • :

. . The,wife of a welPFnowiT^Sandhurst share brokeV recently* imported ft BtirVant girl from'lior native place, a small-island on the coast of Donegal. ■ One'night,' on! returning home, the lady smelt a bad escape of gas, and aroused the ,servant, who explained;thatt "she.had blown ,out all the lights, but:.djvil:abit ot wick; could shefind^ :•,. ,;i . a.'i i\ ■>''. v,-'r". i ::...; ' Ah' elderly bacliejbr"'sends us'the following "Alphabet of Requisites' (or a Wife":—A wife should bo amiable, affectionate, artless,'affable; accomplished, . beautiful, benign,' benevolent, chaste, charming, baridid, cheerful; complaisant, charitable, civil, constant; dutiful, dignified, elo ' gant, easy, engaging, entertaining, faithful, fond, faultless, free, good, graceful,1 generous; govern able, good-humoured, ; handsome, harmless, healthy, heavenly-minded, intelligent, interest ing, industrious, ingenious, jU9t, kind, lively, liberal, loving,'modest,; merciful, mannerly, neat, notable,, oh edient, obliging, pretty, pleas ing, peaceable, pure, 'cyiiet, righteous, Sociable, submissive, sensible; temperate;;true, virtuous, well-informed, and young.' When I meet with a womanpossessed Of all these requisites I will m^rry.—Tne)vretchi, ,' '.;\ ■ ■ ,:'^ ,_[ js 0 , • 1 ' To Sympathisers.—A young fellow,;hard up, is in want ot £10 to' £3o.'No security but htt •word to offer.—Address Faith. -•''-- '■••-I --' »■*» !

SUNDAY READINGS.

..• .[,v; ~.. .v? &: 1 - ' ■/,". SHORT SEttMPNS y ON .EVKUY, DAY

If everyßpdjy in the world were properly using tl»e tilings,he has, the things he has not •would be-•worth little thought. If each Christian' were determined on a sincere devotion to his own duty as it is now, his spiritual failures in times past would bo something better than a miles rana •around liis nccii.

i No department of mind ought to- be highecplaced! than the love of the beautiful. ft shouM. be cultivated, whether it be in pictures in raanenti.orih: je-wob. The love of beauty in God must be; immense. The lovo of : beauty carries at high moral quality with it It is a law that we- should worship God in beauty Nowhere was it more powerful than in the temple. We-sea Skin Revelation. The love of. beauty increases- in, people the idea of the truth

Tko- failure of man to resist temptation suw not of necessity. Adam's moral nature ■would have gro/vsra stronger by temptation if he nadL resisted, nind triumphed over it, ,but by SieJdjng to. sia' that nature was weakened and elUed,.ond that defiled and weakened nature was transmitted to all his posterity. Christ came1 not to prevent temptation, but to impart to man. a new nature capable of resisting it He made men children of God in a higher sense thau Adam ivos tt child of God, ;.,.

Prayer only:: becomes a complex an* doubtful thing when we confuse it with human, appearances and doubts. We expect to see soafe great material force applied to the mountain, to, remove it piecemeal, in! order to see it cast iota the sea. Prayer should never ignore agencies that may be employed, but when there appears no adequate natural force, there should, bo aU the more importanity in prayer. God sees, a .way that we do not. i He may not be Been, but •/will reveal himself in the needful hour. ' •

.A rainbow ! Kest and peace are nowhere on earth, they are. not tangible objeets^tliey Ua in our imagination and as things appear, ta uk Now I understand why in the Biblo {he rainbow is designated as a token of peace atter the deluge—the seven colours are not really there; they only appear to the eye of him who receives the broken rays at the angle at sight. Rest and peace are not to bo gained by force; they are pure gifts from the heaven with us, rain clouds und sunshine, meeting in our tears andsmileß.— "Auerbaeh." '~ ~•;. . .... ;..,...,,;

~,. A sense of one's own deficiencies is a , salutarir thing, or the reverse, according to the "use that is made ot it. If it spurs us to more zealous efforts, if it makes U3 resolute/in our purpose of living a worthier life than-we have hitherto; spent, its benefit is great; but if' jt arouses ho more healthful frame of, mind than| a feeling of regret that wo have accomplished so ' little, and an indolent and despairing conclusion . that there is not. much use in trying to do any thing more in tho world, then it is merely an additional hindrance to a life already marred by 'failure.- ; ' ' ■ ■;' • ;•'" '.v.V ■■:u

I The, sins and follies which have giyeii so "much trouble to us and to others ought to be put :'ia stop to. ; If we have a quick temper, we must hold it in. If we are of a suspicious nature; we [must refuse it exercise, and must cultivate con fidence ip. others. If we are close-#sted; we ' Wust pry our hands, open.. If we are Wo for ' > waVd, we must study to keep in the background. ,jt we are unsocial, we must religiously strive to make ourselves agreeable. If \va are shiftless ' and unsystematic, we must train ourselves to do ■ things on time and in their order. If'we are ■ i over-sensitive, or uncharitable, or resentful, we must recognize and battle this fault. ,■ Whatever . beam there is in our eyo—as. we can,find it out, 'of "ourselves, or by tho help of friends—that is the thing for its to go for and kcep : at until it is v under foot'lnstead of in the eye. ' li .vs.."

Applied Theology.

prom the Albany Argus. • • 'i*. ATameoting of the "Woburn Conference, Farmer Alien, of Wakefleld, related the following .anec dote:— , ••.. ; ~; .-,, ■• I jjj;; Mil" On a Sunday morning, while a certain, deacon was preparing for" church, a wandering way farer, or, in modern parlance, atramp; appeared at his door, pleaded his hunger, arid begged for something to eat. The deacon looked-solemn »nd. frowningly, but reluctantly goto loaf, of bread and began to cut it, but whila doing so took occasion to admonish the beggar concern ing the error of his ways. After remiodtofcjiiin that it was the holy Sabbath which he was desecrating, he asked him if he knew how to pray. "No," was the reply. " Then,"'said deaconj >"I'll learn you," and he commenced to repeat the Lord's prayer. > ' -i- ;,A ' But just as he uttered the first .words, "Our Father," the beggar interrupted him with a question, "What, ia he your father and mine, tO3?'V ->! ■-■ 0 ; .■'. ',-■ :■..■■ ::..:■: "Yes," the deacon replied. ,ti ~, , "Why," exclaimed the JJ^Sar,, "wo are brothers, then, ftin't Av e J can't you'eut'that gUceaUtfle thicker?" . ■-■' • ;'.■

: ; To the minds of young ladjes about to mstfry , ttie" wedding' dress \ unquestionably '.presents itself--as. a consideration, of the utmost, im ■.portance; and we can well believe that .the prospect, of any shortcoming in the material or ' make of that, essential garmentiis-especially . calculated to' appal the female 50u1,;.; .Some ■.such dreadful apprehension must have,inspired "with desperate resolve the fair youngj.C^eriian maiden who, .only a feyv. days ago,'-""'was arraigned before the District Court, of 1 Dort mund'for stealing a watch from ,a',youthftil .) handicraftsman of. that city., j .The person she I,had robbed proved to, be > he.r own;.affianced

...lover,' who,.upon discovering.l his. losSj,.had ~;f.9rthwith notified it jtothe Dortmund; police, ,'.,' without the faintest; notion; that,the- theft;-had

i been committed,by his betrothed bride. ,i'Bue investigation: resulted in the, discovery, of/the ;,s,tolenip;roperty,at a:pawnbroker's sh.op,/\yhere • the damsel, in iquestion had pledged?ittfor a .trifling; sumjuo When I brought .to trial 1 she av,o,vyed; her.guilt* with, many tears! andiisols, alleging that, unable, to. purchase; hert.wedding .dress, and being ; .ashamed ■to confess- her

poverty to future;husband, she-,had.pur :, Joined his. Watch, with tlie object .of <raising a •: i Sufficient amount by;its- hypothecation' £0 equip herself decently for-the ''happiest, moment, of t• hftr; 1 life."i, It is:pleasant- to Jchow;;that this >. piteous,-confession' was. responded-.'ito-iif a ■ gallant and:/magnanimous spirit; by,:the sde spoiled bridegroom, who spolce uplikeaiinan" in court, declaringthat." the prisoner, was and everwould.be his only love^ and; that he.would :.marry;her out. oChand if the judge wouldicbn ■jsent ktdviset .her Vat liberty.".: -i Without a ..minute's^ delay , the-;!tribunal I.the arraignment, and the generous lov«r carried • of his.liberated larcenist in triumphiiv •-:■.• iif; ;

Printed and Published by the Proprietor, Henot Bbett, of Symonds-street, at his r General .Printing Office, ■Wyndham-street, in the Pro "'ylUceof Auckland, New Zealand. '. . i~'^i :-ll!;:; ;laiTUßbxT,'ilr<ttJOTl3, 188" ■'■'■■■

TSOaK'ISOTTOE&S? ra^ggPMgg 1.

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■ i'' V""-" ■''k'-:'' :oQo; tilTh'^od ' B-: >'» ; C R; G :C:'p!:':EM, :-i ■■ BOOT AND SHOKMAKHB,! 61, VIOTOKIA ;BXBBiAV;. '-/ ','' ' All kinds of Ladles' and GenUomen'a .Boots mode to order of the best quality^. „".•> ~j. Town and Ck>nntryOrderßpromptly,execated. , , ADVERTISERS READ THIS.'."' ' The circulation of the STAR <s, greater in pro portion to the population than that of. any,pther newspaper in Now Zealand. ; - ;::>;f" : The circulation of the STAR ia more than that of oil the other papers in the Province.com bined. : 1 ,r.ji-i ; i ;:! :•■--- .:-'■'•'■'■'' -:' r' . It is estimated that each issue of the STAR is i-oad by no fewer than 2(^000 persona/. : I..r «><Y The? STAR is read by allj classes, and;clrcu lates widely in the country districts.';" oil ' These facts should be borne in mind by adfer tisers in selecting a medium for their1 advertise ments..'' :,.,,.'. ■.; ■"■:..■-. .'., .-. ■,; .*.■: ■ %