Not Seasick would Knott Be.

Mb Knott was about to sail for Europe. He informed his friends that seasickness had no terrors for him. He said he had an infallible preventive of that malady. He bought it of an old sailor who had been at sea forty years, and had never been sick an hour. And Knott said that when the steamer got out on the ocean all he had to do was to swallow a couple of these pow der?, and then the wind might howl and the billows roll, for no ocean that was ever built could turn his stomach. On the day he started he enjoyed, himself a great deal, talking with his friends while sailing down the bay, and as soon as the ship got out on the open sea. and began to roll, he took a rlose of preventive. Presently he bu^im to look solemn, and then he took another. After a bit he said hi 3 corns hurt him, and he thought he would lie down on the sofa. Then a sickly look overspread his face, and the steward asked him if anything was the matter. Knott said that he thought that coffee they had for breakfast must have disagreed with him. Then -he suddenly jumped up and flew to the deck. The Captain directed his attention to the beautiful sunset, but Knott seemed to prefer to hang over the side of the ship, with his face toward the water. Then the Captain asked him if he was flick, and he said no ; he was only trying to see if they were yet in the Gkilf Stream. Then his frame convulsed and he began to get rid of his gastric juice. He seemed to be trying to bring up a breakfast that he ate during the Seminole War. After working down pretty well t ward it, he asked them to carry him to his state-room, where ho gave the steward a box containing the old sailor's infallible preventive of sea sickness, and remarked that, if the steward would chuck that awful truck into the bosom of the mighty deep, he would confer a favor upon Mr. Knott. Then Knofct rolled over in his berth, with pallor in his face, and said to his companion : ' Bill, don't old what's-his-name Huxley say in one of his books that the Atlantic Ocean is gradually fill ing up, so'c it'll be dry land some day V 1 1 believe he does.' ' Well, Bill, when I get to Europe' I'm going to stay there until the thing fills, and'then I'm going to drive over home in a buggy. No more naviga tion for me, if you please.' Then he called for the steward, and the conversation ended.

A Love Proposal.

I had spent the evening at my club. The heated air had sickened and irritated me; and as I made my way home through the lain, I felt more than ever dissatisfied with the world and myself. At home I found on my table an invitation to dinner next day, which I resolved to accept, for I had long wished for the host's intimate acquaintance. The dinner was given by General Upton, and I led his beautiful daugh ter to the table.

It was after ray return home that I found myself thinking continually of Miss Upton ; her waves of sunny brown hair ; her white forehead between its rippling bands ; her soft, blue thrilling eyes ; her cbeeks of fresh, pearly tint; her small pouting mouth and dimpled chin. I met niy charmer at a ball, and returned more madly in love than ever. After that I saw her frequently, at last almost daily; and was vain enough to feel certain that she per ceived my affections without being displeased at the discovery. Why dwell on the history, which is that of many hearts ?

One day when I was riding out, I saw the General's carriage, and him on the front seat. Urging my horse to a gallop I came alongside and bowed to Miss Upton, whose face was lighted up with pleasure, a bright color suffusing her cheeks. But as she bent forward I saw by her side on the back seat a very handsome' young man. A chill was swept over the blossom of my heart.

I was in no amiable humor when I went to the ball that night. The ladies were elegantly dressed, and many looked bewitchingJy beautiful. I had eyes but for one She was standing alone by a porcelain vase, from which a tiny fountain of eau de cologne threw up its sparkling drops. She seemed buried in reverie, and the long bright lashes lay on her cheeks, she blu3hed as I bade her good evening. I asked her for the nest cotillion 5 she

answered that the was already engaged. Again I felt a sharp pain through my heart, but it was only for a moment. I solicited her hand for the succeeding dance, and she promised it. At supper I had a seat opposite her. She was engaged in an animated con versation with a gentleman, who, I was glad to see, was not the young man I had seen driving out with her. As she glanced timidly at me I felt more than ever certain I could read in those magnetic looks a meaning that thrilled me with delight. We returned to the ball-room, and when I had conducted to a seat the kdy under my charge, I went in pursuit of my beloved. To my dismay I paw her conversing with her companion of the morning's drive. A flood of passionate anger swept over me, but she gave me a glance that Instantly quieted the raging elements. The ball was over. The s<veet girl I loved was just leaving the room, accompanied" by the gentleman 1 had seen driving with her. As 1 approached to take my leave I could not avoid hearing the last words of their conver sation :

'I may speak to your father, then, to-morrow ?' asked the young man, in an unmistakable tone of heartfelt

rapture. ' 1 will prepare him,' was the reply. 1 He is already disposed in your favor, and will, I am sure, give his consent.' ' You are an angel/ exclaimed the

young man. ' The happiness of my whole life —' ' Wait till everything is arranged/ said the fair girl with a smile, aud then tripped on to join her father. I stood aghastjand petrified. Were her love-glances at me, then, merely coquetry, or had I deceived myself ? No, no; there was no mistake. Her looks had expressed love, if ever such was painted in maiden's eyes. And yet, in a fury, I dashed out; of the room. I met Gen. Upton in the ante room ; I could have strangled him for his daughter's sake. A commonplace remark from him as to some foolish freak of mine, made me still more enraged, and I retorted in violent excitement, ' I do not choose, G-en. Upton, to hear from you any insolent comments on my conduct. I consider your conduct, sir, unbecom ing a gentleman.' ' Sir,' replied the old soldier, 'if your deliberate design is to insult me, it were better to have the conversation conducted through the medium of a friend.'

' As you please ; I shall expect him,' I answered with a stiff bow, and hurried away, leaving the old man more grieved and astonished than angry. Shortly after, Colonel Bell, my detested rival stood hef'oro me, and requested to speak with me in another room. 1 followed him. He stated that he came on the part of Q-eneral, Upton, who thought my insulting language to him the result of some misunderstanding, and wished to be assured that it was so.

My fury nearly choked me at the man who had defrauded me of my hap piness. I refused to retract or to explain my words : and when informed that a duel must inevitably result, 1 acquiessed, and the time and place were appointed the next morning at nine, at Wormwood Scrubbs. I bade Colonel Bell select and bring what weapons he might please. He went out, and I then asked one of my friends to walk homeward with me. I told him of the imepnding duel, and requested his services as my second, which ho promised. He was amazed to hear who was my opponent, and that the courtly general had ventured an unseemly jest. After a pause, he said, ' Poor Colonel 801 l S In case of mischance to the general, what is he to do?'

' What do you mean ?' I asked, trembling violently. ' You know/ my friend replied, 'that Col. Bell is in love with Gen. Opton's niece and ward. Miss Camp bell, who has been spending the Winter with her aunt, Lady Mount joy, in Belgrave Square. It was said the General sent her there to keep her out of Bell's way, for he was averse to the match, thinking the Colonel wanted the girl's money. They say he, persuaded Miss Upton to be his advocate, she can do what she will with her father and he has now the best prospect of success.' I felt as if a thunderbolt had fallen at my feet. To ; blank amazement suc ceeded rage at myself, and my jealous folly and blindness. Could only throw myself at the feet of the General, his daughter, and Col. Bell, and beg their forgiveness! But I had provoked and accepted a challenge, and what would now be thought of such submission !

They would believe me a coward. No> no! I isulted the G-eneral, and he, at' least, must have satisfaction. In the morning I .dressed myself with unwonted care. Once more the blood coursed in a free and lively tide through my veins, and I went forth cheerfully. We alighted from the carriage upon the ground. General Upton, _ who was already there, saluted us with a haughty bow. Col. Bell came toward us, and said he hoped we- would be satisfied with his choice of pistols. I noticed in his manner, as well as that of his principal, a lofty coldness not usual even in such encounters. It was plain they regarded me as a senseless ruffian, determined to force a quarrel on an old officer. I dare not disclose the truth, and simply acquiesced in all that was done. Waving my own privilege, I insisted on the General having the first shot.

The General raised his weapon, took aim, and fired. I felt a < sharp pain and had a hot gushing in my right arm, above the elbow. Colonel Bell began to count for my shot. I motioned to him to stop and advanced toward General Upton. ' I have something important to say to you, sir,' I said. tie replied, coldly, 'I know not what you can have to say to me in other language than the kind in which I have just spoken to you.' 'But I have/ I repeated, 'some thing of infinite importance to myself to communicate. I wish to ask a very great favor of you.' The bystanders looked amazed. 'General Upton/ I cried, impe tuously, ' I love your daughter. I implore your consent to address her.' The old officer's surprise was so great that his pistol dropped from his hand. As soon as he recovered power to speak he said, ' "Do you wish, sir, to add a fresh insult to those we are here to settle, or ' —bis look finished the sentence —' are you mad ?' I begged permission to explain my unaccountable behavour. I told him how deeply I had loved his daughter from our first meeting ; how my pass ion had increased till it engrossed my whole being; how I had overheard at the ball words that caused me to look on Colonel Bell as my successful rival: how, maddened by despair, I had rushed into a quarrel with him, and how, too late, I had discovered my mistake. ' You will appreciate, sir,' I con cluded, ' the situation in which I found myself. I had behaved like a fool and a ruffian, but I could not confess it and ask your pardon without incurring the suspision of cowardice. You would not have given your daughter to a coward. Now, General, you have had satisfaction for tho affront so wan tonly offered you. I acknowledge my folly and throw myself on your gener osity.' Turning to Colonel Bell, I repeated my apology to him. The cloud of resentment gradually cleared away from the General's noble countenance. At last he remarked with a good-humoured smilo that since the world began it had been necessary to pai-don something to the empetuosity of lovers. Yet he censured the folly that had prevented me from dealing frankly with him, instead of standing to receive his fire. He added that if I succeeded in winning his daughter's consent I should meet with no opposi tion from him.

I could not extend ray right hand to thank my generous adversary, for mv sleeve was full of clotted blood. Luckily Colonel Bell had brought a doctor, who drew off my coat and examined my arm. He bound up my wound, which was slight, and made a sling for my arm. The General then invited me to go home with him to breakfast. We drove to his house.

Agnes Upton was as much sur prised to see me, as she had been at her father's early excursion. When she saw me pale and trembling, with my arm in a sling, the lovely girl grew pale herself, and then the blood rushed back into her transparent cheeks. Her father told her I had met with a slight accident; adding that we would all breakfast with. him.

Then he went out with the other gentlemen to show them some new improvements, in his garden. I was left alone with my charmer, who came close to me and asked me to tell her the truth.

'I have fought a duel with your father.' I replied, 'and have been wounded in the arm.'

The fair girl grew pale as a lily. Her large violet eyes were fixed strangely upon me' At length she asked, in a quivering voice, what T and her father had fought abovt

' I had insulted him,' was my answer

It seemed to increase her amazsment. With some impatience, she bade me talk intelligibly

Then I made her sit down, arew a chair near her and told her everything.. As I described my jealous fears, despair and madness, her changing color showed her emotion, and wben I repeated my petition to her farther for permission to declare my love, I saw two pearly tears slide down her cheeks, while her eyes were fixed on the ground. When i expressed the wild worship that filled my heart and implored her not to despise it, she gave me such a glance from her sud denly lifted eyesthatl sank at once to her feet. The angels that rejoice at true love witnessed the plighting of our troth.

You will hurt your arm,' she said, with blushing embarrassment, and she removed it from around her waist.

At the same instant the gentlemen came in from the garden. ' Well, you seem to have arranged matters satisfactorily,' observed the General.

' I suppose, Agnes, I must ask you to forgive me for having shot your intended on the day of your betrothal.

Agnes was too bashful to answer. Colonel Bell spoke to her, ' Dear Miss Upton, your farther has made me happy this morning, aud I shall _ be your cousin. I trust our weddings may take place on the same day. Let me thank you for having fulfilled the promise you made me last evening.' Agnes gave her hand in conagrtula tion. His lady-love, whohad been sent for joined us at breakfast, and I saw thai: she would give no denial to her guardian's consent. It was a happy termination to our misunderstandings.

Our weddings were celebrated at I.he same time. 1 have never been in the least jealous of my wife.

English Gentleman on Society and Ladies in America.

The air of general animation over a party here, composed of a different class of people, is perhaps, not except ing beauty, its most charming element; it is the aggregate effect of the individual vivacity and piquancy of the American female character, which, in its best representatives, seems to had these traits to all that i 3 estimable in English women—a tolerably bold statement' I fear, for your columns. Observe this young lady here on the sofa, a belle, and considered ' bright/ but there are many like her in the room. Her beauty and grace, her complexion and dress, we will put on one side or won't mention, as the Irish writer puts it; but mark her sparkling face and genial good humor as she talks, the felicity of her language, the readiness of her repartee, always delicate, but generally with a delicious little dash of satire ; the clearness of her ideas, the tact with -which she draws out her companion to show his best points, and the generally unaffected ease with which she sustains a length ened conversation on any subject under the sun with fool or wise man. Mr. Editor, they are a wonderful race, are these American women ; but one word about the flowers this after noon, and I shall have done. The rooms are covered with them in every shape and variety of tasteful arrange ments. Wreaths of the fresh and graceful smilax, a fern which I have not seen in England, but which is admirably adapted to decoration, inter spersed with flowers, depend from the chandeliers, cornices and mantelpieces. h. magnificent cornucopia of all kinds of flowers, perfect in formation and in. the blending of color, stands in one corner of the room. In the next, where the chandelirs is hung is a large loosely-made ball nearly a yard in diameter, of different-colored flowers, and imbedded in it oc either side, also formed of flowers, is a graceful H. the initial letter of the daughter's name for whom the reception is given. Pla teaus of flowers stand against the walls and hang from the pictures, while the mantelpieces are buds of moss and fern, in which rare exotics are growing or drooping plants form a natural fringe towards the ground. It is needless to describe the wonderftf effect of freshness light and nature's beauty that this floral wealth gives to rooms, which without it have nothing to depend on but art. It is the, great forte of American entertainment. Flowers are very dear in winter, but no cost is spared to secure their display.

Shakspeare is to be translated into the Polish tongue, and Richard'u ravings will go from Pole to Pole.

Varieties.

They have a good joke on a ' Professor Ventilation' down East, who being pm fo a room at a hotel with another guest asked the latter to raise a window, at nigk* as the air was so close.—' I can't raiseV said theguest, after working at the windo* a while.—' Then knock a pane of gU 8 , I out!' said the professor, which was done, I After a while, the professor . got up and' | knocked out another pane, and then was able to sleep; but in the morning fo 1 discovered that they had only broken into ! a book-case !

A Cincinnati fiend advertises for men with fever and ague to shake carpets.

When you feel yourself spell-bound tie best thing to do is to look into the diction. ary.

The Thane of Cawdor thought the storm would bring rain on the blasted lieath, but the witches said, 'AH hail, ]f c . beth.'

Ole Bull recently showed his violin, stincts by playing and eating on the topof the pyramids, 'Cheops and tomato sauce,1

The puff indirect has been given fop s celebrated jeweller, a short time since, in a French journal, in the following ,;; words : —The fashion of the day is tohavo imitations of insects, in coloured enamel upon jewellery. M. Moreau so thoroughly succeeded in imitating a fly, for some studs, that a spider the other day, descend, ed from its web and caught the fly.stmj up, taking it into its domicle, and trjiag to get something succulent out of it, Happily, it was seen by a servant, 01 there would have been a second edition of the maid and the magpie when tie master of the house returned home. f

A man, when he is a little mellow, is generally 'ripe for anything.' 'Eents are enormous,' as the beggar said on looking at his pants. A wife's farewell to her husband every morning—'Buy and buy,'

If corns were hereditary, they might properly be called patrimonial achera. It sometimes happens that men of&e most means are also the meanest of men.

Why is a newly-born babe like a gale of wind ?—Because it begins with asqual. 'Vy, vatever do you call this stuff?' asked the cockney in ths hayfield. ' That? why, hay to be sure.' ' Hay! come, that's cutting it a little too thick. If that's hay. just show me the haycorns—cons, now'

A disciple of Coke, in Charleston, 8.0,, when asked by a ' brudder' to explain the t Latin terms 'de facto' and 'de jure,1 replied, ' Dey means dat you must prove de facts of de case to de satisfaction of de jury.' Guest (who has had a pleasant evening, will just have a look at his host's pictures before he goes). ' Yesh —(hie)— 1 like tha 1 pictsh're! Pi' lanhc'pe j 'Like tie treesh! 'Branshes wave 'bout s'nash- J 'rally !'— A Millwaukee man made three unsuccess ful attempts to blow his brains out, and then his wife told him: ' Don't try it again, John; you haven't got any.' He goes about saying he owes his life to that woman.

A ventriloquist fell overboard and was i drowned in Lake Erie the other day. | When the cry of 'Help, help,' came £■! from under the guards, the deck handi 1 said 'he could not fool them,' and went I right along with their work.

What is the width of a broad grin? Something less than six s-miles. The lady lives in Lowell who went to a letter-box around the corner, couldn'tpost her letter, 'because/ she said, 'thebox was locked.'

'My lord, began a pompous yonng I barrister, 'It is written in the book of | nature —' 'On what page, sir—on what i page?' interrupted the judge, pen in I hnad. * A little boy, whose conduct made w | mother say that she feared he did not pr»y ( | replied: "Yes, I do; I pray every nigW I that God wiiljmake you and pa' like my ways | better."

Two sparks from London once came upon» decent looking shepherd in Argyleshire, »n<* accosted him with, ' You have a very fi&B view here; you can see a great way.' ' An' you can see America here s I suppose ?'' F»ir*r than that.' « How is that ?' 'Yu jirt w»t» tule the mists gang awa', and you'll the Bee mune.' Lady Holland was rather fond of crowding her dinner table. Once, when the compMtf was already tightly packed, an unexpected 1 guest arrived, and she instantly g»ve her imperious order to Luttrell—generally B°st subservient to her ladyship's wishes-' I*" trell, make room.' 'It must certainlyM made,' he answered, ' for it doeß not e»»t- The individual who was accidently

injured by the discharge qf his duty is 1 still very low. . 1. Spilkins says there are two ways m 1 whick'fair, fat, and forty'makes its?" I conspicuous, viz : ' waste of sighs, and its size of waist,' Fashionable Tailor—'l can't help fitting a figure like yours, sir, and I'm wiMdb lose money for the sake of the a^' tisement, sir !' Frenchman is delighted) and pays an extortionate bill without ft murmur. T , Young Miss, fond of pets—'Oh, 1» so glad you love birds, Mr. Snoofcs; what kind do you admire P' Young in^'i; who is quite poetical—'Well, ahem • x \ think a good turkey, with oyster stuffing) is about as good as any.'

Printed and published by the proprietor, SbW Brett, of Parnell, at his General Steam **["„/ Office, "Wyndham-street, in the City of AW*""1 New Zealand. Saturday, August 19, 1878

JEvewdng Star Supplement, -Ajmg-iasft 19, 187e