THE STORY-TELLER.

HEINEMAN’S LITTLE GAME.

By Patched,

Heineman lives in the city during the cool months, but invariably takes up his his abode at Nyack, his country residence, during the sweltering days of summer. His business necessitates his going to New York every morning. One night last month, it being quite cool, he thought he would like to stay down and go around and enjoy himself during the evening—a chance he rarely had while his family were in the city. So instead of going for the train, as he was wont to do, he sauntered up-town where he remained all night, and occupied himself in pleasure seeking. His wife anxiously awaited his coming, and being disappointed worried the whole night for his safety. Heineman went to Nyack the next the night, and after his wife had greeted him with tears of joy upon his arrival and told him of her sleepless, watchful night, lie informed her that his reason for not getting home the previous night, was on account of missing the last train. I was never so worried in my life, Fred,” she said. “I do wish the next time you miss the train you would tele graph to me, and I will feel more at ease. ”

“ Certainly, my dear ; how stupid of me in not thinking of it. last night. This living in the country and going in and out every day is fearfully inconvenient and a bore ; cramming down my break fast in the morning to catch a train and hurrying , from my office in the even ing to catch another. The sooner the cool weather comes on, so we can return to the city, the better I will be pleased. Here last night when I missed the train, I was obliged to eat my supper in a res taurant, and I do detest restaurant meals, so different from your cooking, dear ; they don’t even know how to fry a steak ; and then after going to three hotels for a room I was finally compelled to sleep on a cot in the garret of one of them, and never passed such a restless night in my life,” he concluded, with considerable gravity of manner. “ Well, you’ll telegraph at all events the next time. Come down to supper now,” she said. Things went on pleasantly for a week or so, when Heineman concluded to again remain in the city. The train left at six o’clock. At a quarter-past six he stepped out of the Astor House dining room and sent a dispatch that he had missed the train and then took a bus up town.

Next night he went home and it was all right. If his wife had any suspicions she did not mention them, and he con gratulated himself upon how nicely his wife had fixed things for him by the telegraph. Two nights subsequent he decided to again stay in the city, and as he wished to go up the town rather early, he went to the telegraph office and wrote, after the address—

“ Missed the train again. Don’t worry, Fred.”

It was then five o’clock, and as it would not do, of course, for the message to go then, an hour before the train started, he left strict instructions with the clerk that it was not to be sent until 6.15. He then departed. Next morning, feeling rather anxious about it, he stepped into the office and enquired if a telegram he had written last evening was sent O.K. The new and obliging clerk, after absenting himself for a few moments to enquire, politely and promptly informed him that it was sent at 5.15. “ Five-fifteen !” exclaimed Heineman as his hair and his blood arose; “ that despatch wasn’t to be sent until quarter past six. What kind of a blank space company is this ? I’ll see this blank space company in blank-space rather than give it a cent's worth of my patron age again.” He Btood there for five minutes, cursing company and clerks and liis luck. After having exhausted his vocabulary he left and walked up the street, meditatively. “How will I fix it,” he mused. “Basket of peaches—no good. Box cologne, box candies, silk stockings -—no they won’t satisfy. No use, there’ll be a 3torm,” and he sighed. “ I think,” he said, as he stood on the corner and pressed his fingers on his temples, a few honeyed words of explanation and a silk dress will soften her, and if they do I pledge my word not to purposely miss the train again.” Early in the afternoon he went to Stewart’s and purchased a black silk, then caught the four o’clock train for home. Arriving in Nyack and finding his wife was not at the station, he heaved a sigh full of relief, for he was anxious to avoid a scene there. He walked briskly along and nervously ascended the front steps, and while he fumbled for the key the dour was opened. “Hallo, Dollie,” he ex claimed in his usual affectionate manner, as he stepped inside and attempted to kiss her.

She pushed him away. The door closed with a bang. He didn’t shut it either.

“Hallo, Dollie!” she yelled _ in mockery. “ You miserable deceitful thing. Come home to me, don’t you, after your night’s debauch in New York, and seek to control my feelings and undo your outrageous conduct by your sweet greeting. Your telegram game wasn’t successful last night. I got it sooner than you intended I should, - Missed the train j don’t worry.’ Ypu fine specimen pf cunning, Do you think, sir, that I will stand any such goings on, I don’t know what you take me for. This thing has got to be stopped. Explain your yourself, Fred Heineman,” and she ceased in her raving walk up and down the hall .and stood in front of him with arms folded. !< Qome here, dearie,” he said falter ingly and with an effort to look hurt, “ come into the parlor and sit down.

Calm yourself. You surprise me by iv'ji&t you have told me about the tele * gram, and your accusation is unjust and painful. But I think I see through it all, and I will explain the matter. In the first place I did not know you received my message until after the train had started. I left word with the bookkeeper to send it about six o clock, as I started off about four. You sec I wanted to give you a little surprise last ni 'ht, and when I left the store I pro ceeded to Stewart’s and purchased this ‘ black silk for you. I intended you should ‘ "believe by my telegram tliat I had missed the train, but I was coming borne in it and

going to surprise you. and it was just my luck to be detained at Stewart s and to miss the train. You see, my dear, how it was ? But most of the fault was the book maker’s in sending the dispatch before the time, for if he had not and I didn t get home you would not have worried or im agined what you have, accused me of— that of being base and false. She softened as he lied and at sight of the silk which he had now unwrapped. “ Fred, dear, forgive me,” she said, now considerably toned down, kissing him and taking the silk. “I was too hasty. But I felt that you had wronged me. I know I hurt you with my accusal. Will you not forgive me 1” Fred, only too anxious to forgive and hush the subject, readily consented, and things were once more harmonious. Later Heineman ruminates and figures : Twenty-five cents of telegram, 25 dollars’ worth of fun, 02 dollars’ worth of dress ; total, 120 dollars 25 cents ; a day’s busi ness upset, and a disturbed mind—quite enough for a taste of forbidden fruit for one night and for ever.

THE ASHBURTON HERALD

[Friday, February 27, 1880.



Holloway’s Tills. —Let the Sick take lieeck—The stomach is the commissariat of the physical system. It furnishes the material sus tenance of every organ. If disordered, the whole body languishes ; but however severely it may be affected, its tone and vigor may always be restored by a course of these irresis tible Pills; biliousness, indigestion, liver com plaints, and other disorders of the stomach can easily be cured by the use of Holloway’s Pills. Thousands attest this assertion, and no sufferer who has ever tiied them will deny their su preme efficacy. In every case of stomach dis ease, from the mildest case of dispepsia to the disorder of both liver and stomach, from the nausea of the free liver to the vomiting accom panying ulcerated stomachs, these Pills imme diately relieve, and by perseverance effectually cure.— Advt.



Exhibition. Ashburton horticultural SOCIETY. President—E. G. Wright, Esq., M.H.R. Vice-Presidents —J. E. Trevor, John Grigg, W. C. Walker, and Alfred Saunders, Esqs. Treasurer —A. H. Shury, Esq. Secretary—Stephen E. Poyntz. The First Show of the Society will be held on SATURDAY, MARCH 6th, At the TOWN HALL: Admission up to 1 p.m. 2s 6d. „ After 1 p.m. Is. Competition for prizes open to the Public. N.B.—lt is particularly requested that all those who have articles suitable for competition, or exhibition only, will bring them forward, in order to make this, the first show, a success. ENTRIES. All exhibits for exhibition only, free. Entries for competition—Members, free ; non-members, Is. per exhibit. SPECIAL NOTICE. All exhibitors must give notice to the lion. sec. of the number and class of their exhibits, and space required, on or before noon on March 3rd, so that arrangements may be made for staging same. STEPHEN E. POYNTZ, 474 g 33c Secretary. Publications. AGRICULTURAL PAPERS. rjYHE PUBLISHERS have much pleasure in intimating to the Farmers of the County of Ashburton, that they have issued THIS DAY (Saturday), Jan. 10th, a reprint in pamphlet form of a selection of AGRICULTURAL PAPERS Read before the Lincoln Farmers’ Club, compiled by J. Stanley Bruce, Esq., Price One Shilling. Orders for the above pamphlet, ac companied by thirteen stamps, should be addresssed to WEEKS & DIXON, Publishers, East Street. DIARIES ! DIARIES ! ! DIARIES ! ! ! have a few of LETTS’ DIARIES for 18S0 on hand, an inspection of which s invited, OFFICE DIARIES, POCKET DIARIES, SCRIBBLING DIARIES, DIARIES OF every description WEEKS & DIXON, “ Herald ” and “ Guardian ” Offices, Near the Railway Station. IE 1 O UR 18 S O . The press almanac And Diary Can be obtained from the undersigned. Price—One Shilling. WEEKS AND DIXON, Herald Office, Near Railway Station.



??tMfred Harrison. BANKRUPT SALE OF GROCERIES, &c. SATURDAY, 28th FEBRUARY, 12.30 sharp. ALFRED HARRISON has received instructions from the Trustee in the ESTATE OF SANDO AND CO. Grocers, Stationers, Ac., East street, ; To Sell BY PUBLIC AUCTION, At HIS ROOMS, on the above date, the -whole of his Stock in-trade, consisting of— Groceries of every description Crockery Fancy Goods Diapery A Fresh Consignment of Stationary from Sydney Tobacconist’s Sundries Lamps j Ac., Ac., Ac. Also, 1 Horse, and Spring Cart Harness Sale at 12.30 Sharp. Without Reserve. ALFRED HARRISON, 97c-54.Gg Auctioneer. J. E. Buchanan and Co. UNDER DISTRESS WARRANT. FOR ABSOLUTE AND UNRESERVED SALE. Messrs j. e. buchanan and Co. have received instructions from the R.M. Court to sell BY PUBLIC AUCTION, on their premises, Havelock street, ON SATURDAY, FEB. 28th. 1 Chestnut Light Draught Horse 1 Chestnut draught mare 1 Grey do gelding 1 Bay hack do Sale at 1 o’clock. J. E. BUCHANAN & CO., 5470-93 c . Auctioneers. Acland, Campbell, and Co- THURSDAY, 11th MARCH. HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE, COWS, TRAP, HARNESS, &0. Acland, Campbell, & co., are instructed by Mr. Gaukrodger to otfer by public auction, on THURSDAY, 11th MARCH, All his Household Furniture, Cook ing Utensils, Milch Cows, Trap and Harness Ac., Ac. The Auctioneers beg to draw attention to this sale of Furniture, as it is all new, only having been in use for twelve months ; and also that as Mr. Gaukrodger intends leaving this province, every lot will be sold without any reserve. ACLAND, CAMPBELL, A CO., 94c Auctioneers. T- Bullock. |d HE undersigned has the following B- PROPERTIES to LET with a pur- Irasing clause, or FOR SALE on liberal 3rms of payment — j X A ACRES good WHEAT LAND, LOU all ploughed and ready for cross loughing for wheat ; situated about three dies from the township. *r7 ACRES, near the above ; also good * ® WHEAT LAND, ploughed once’] nd ready for cross-ploughing. r'A ACRES, partly improved, near Wins low. This will be sold very cheap, nd on very liberal terms. TOWN PROPERTIES. 17 ALU ABLE BUSINESS SITE in Bur- V nett Street, being T.S. 177, nest the : Mail” office'. PART of T.S. 139, Peter Street. This will be sold cheap, and on liberal arms. rO Railway Employes, Mechanics, and Others.—FOß SALE, cheap, Lot 8, situated on East Town Belt. Terms, *5 cash ; balance by monthly or quarterly layments. T. BULLOCK. For Sale. TO PRINTERS. MACHINE FOR SALE. For sale.— One Second-hand Double Demy Tape Printing MACHINE, in thorough working order, with rollers, moulds, Ac., complete. This machine has been replaced by a Double Royal Wharfedale, which necessitates removal of the Double Demy Machine formerly used for printing the “ Herald ” and “ Guardian,” for hand or steampower. Can be seen and all par ticulars obtained at our office. For a Country Office this Machine suits admirably, as it can easily be turned by hand, for which we have fitted a fly wheel and handle. Pkice £7O. WEEKS A DIXON. Ashburton, January 14,1879



Edmiston Bros. & G-undry. TO-MORROW. HORSE BAZAAR. SPECIAL ENTRY, IP NOT PRE VIOUSLY DISPOSED OF. Messrs, edmiston bros. a GUNDRY will sell at the Horse Bazaar, To-Morro'.v — 1 Mare, syrs., any trial given in saddle and harness 1 Strong Skeleton Gig 1 Set Harness, Side Saddle, Steeple chase Saddle, Ac. Sale at 1 o'clock. EDMISTON BROS., & GUNDRY, 100 c Auctioneers. MONDAY, Ist MARCH. BANKRUPT STOCK FROM CHRIST CHURCH. FANCY GOODS, CRUETS, GLASS WARE, &c. Sale at 12 o’clock. Messrs, edmiston bros. and GUNDRY, have received instruc tions from the Trustee to sell at their rooms, East street, on Monday, Ist March, a quantity of Fancy Goods, comprising— Gold Lockets and Chains, Silver Lockets and Chains, Silver and Gold Earrings, E.P. Cruets, E.P. Butter Coolers, E.P. Tea-pots, Fancy Baskets, Brushes, Vases, Lustres, Purses, Spoons, Half-a dozen Splendid Glass Jugs, Fifty dozen Best Cut Tumblers. Ac. &c. Ac. Sale at 12 o’clock. NO RESERVE. EDMISTON BROS. AND GUNDRY, 98c Auctioneers.



TURNIP SEEDS SALE by the undersigned— Green Top Yellow Aberdeen Purple ~ „ Devonshire Grey Stone Mammoth Purple Top White Stone Stubble Grass and Clover Seeds. "White Clover Red ~ Timothy Alsike Lucerne &c.) Ac. j Gorse Italian Rye Cocksfoot” Perennial Trefoil &c. Building Material. 100,000 FEET OF ASSORTED TIMBER White & Black Pine Black Birch T. and G. Flooring V. D. L. T. and G. Lining Totara Kauri, &c., &c. COALS AND FIREWOOD IN ANY QUANTITY. EDMISTON BROS. & GUN DRY, East Street. Agents for the SOUTH BRITISH FIRE & MARINE INSURANCE COMPANY. Capital £1,000,000. Risks taken on all kinds of Property, Growing Crops, Grain in Stack, Thresh ing M achines. EDMISTON BROS. & GUNDRY, East Street. Farms for sale in blocks of so to 100 acres. Price from £2 15s. per acre. EDMISTON BROS. & GUNDRY, East Street.



MR. JOHN LLOYD CRAWLEY.. Auctioneer, Stock, Land, and Commission Agent. Farms, Town and Suburban Sections, for Sale and to Let. J. LLOYD CRAWLEY, AUCTIONEER, Offices, Saunders Buildings, Ashburton. 737 a Y. R. N is a OTICE—The “ Ashburton Herald’, Gazette for all notices under the Debtors and Creditors Ar+e



Business Notices. TINWALD BOOT AND SHOE SHOP, C. HAWKINS. CH. begs to inform the inhabitants of . Tin-.raid and surrounding districts that he has taken the Boot and Shoe Shop adjoining Mr. S. Stephens’, saddler, and hopes by strict attention to business to obtain a share of public patronage. 742 g 937 a JOSEPH WARD, FAMILYBUTCHER, PETER STPEET, (Opposite Journeau’s Smithy) T>EGS to inform the Public of Ash- J 3 burton that he will Open the Shop lately occupied by G. Pike, on JANU ARY 3rd, as Family Butcher, and trusts by supplying none but agood article, to merit a share of public support. Families waited on daily for orders, which will receive prompt attention. JOSEPH WARD, 892 a Butcher.



C. PERCY COX, L AND AND ESTATE AGENT ANT VALUATOR, ASHBURTON. MONEY TO LEND ON APPROVED FREEHOLD SECURITY Agent for Union Insurance COMPANY OF NEW ZEALAND. 717



ASHBURTON COPPER, ZINC, IRON, & TIN PLATE MANUFACTORY. JOSEPH HYDE (Late Foreman at the Malvern Works England, and the Canterbury Works, Christchurch, New Zealand) BEGS to thank his friends of Ashbur ton and surrounding districts for the liberal support accorded him during the past two years, and to intimate that he has opened NEW BUSINESS PRE MISES in Moore street (next Mr. Neate’s chemist shop) where he is prepared to execute every description of Plain and Japanned Tinware, Lamps, Gas Reflec tors, Chimney Tops, Portable Washing Boilers, Baths, Cheese Vats, etc. LOCKSMITH, BELLHANGER, GAS FIT TER. Artesian A Veils, Beer Engines, Pumps, <fcc. Steam Kettles, Hot Closets, made on the premises. Estimates given for Spouting. All work done under J. H.’s personal Superintendence, and guaranteed. J. HYDE, Moore Street, Ashburton.



lift lI'Ao Auf ' NEW BUSINESS. CO-OPERATIVE BREAD AND BIS CUIT FACTORY. TRIANGLE, ASHBURTON, WILL OPEN ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2. All orders, town or country, punctually attended to. Wedding Cakes made to order. Dinner, Ball, and Pic-nic Parties sup plied on reasonable terms. All other Confectionery made to order. A. THIELE, 986 a Manager.



ANSTEE’S DINING ROOMS, TANCRED STREET, ASHBURTON. THE Proprietor begs to inform visitors to Ashburton, and the travelling public generally, that the best accommo dation for Boarders in Ashburton is to be had at the above establishment. A LIBERAL TABLE & MODERATE CHARGES. MEALS AT ALL HOURS ... Is. BEDS Is. BOARD & LODGING ... 18s. & 20s. PRIVATE REFRESHMENT ROOMS FOR LADIES. PROPRIETOR, J, G. ANSTEE. 985 a HAVE you Found Anything that don't belong to you, and wish to act or the square ?—Bring a Shilling to the Herald’s Advertising Cleric. He’ll put your qualms of conscience at rest, and find the owner through the Twenty-Words fo* a-Shilling-Column, cash. nnHE PEE NY made the postal system B of England a success. So has it made the Herald. Everybody buys the Herald,



Business Notices. VALUE EXTRAORDINARY. THE Great Bargains OF THE SEASON. GREAT CLEARANCE SALE FOR THIRTY DAYS. ORR AM) CO. HAVING resolved to clear out the Balance of the Bankrupt Stocks purchased by them during the Season (amounting to over ten thousand pounds) regardless of cost so that they may commence the Autumn Season with en tirely a new Stock, ORR AND CO. Will also offer several cheap lots pur chased by them during the late depression. Special Bargains. 90 Pair Twilled Kaiapoi Blankets at 4s. under the usual price. Kaiapoi Flannel at Is. 4d., Is. Gd. to 2s. English Flannel at Is., Is. 2d., Is. Gd., to Is. 9d. Prints at sd. and Gd. , worth 9d. Brown Hollands, 7d. to Is. COSTUMES. 5G Costumes at 215., worth 355. Gd., a Bargain. G 4 Print Costumes at 7s. Gd. to 12s. Gd., worth 20s. 1700 yards Dress Goods, Alpaccas, at Bd., lOd., and Is. MILLINERY. Trimmed and Untrimmed Hats at half price. 2 Boxes Flowers, sold at Gd. per spray. Ladies’ Underclothiug at very much under usual prices. 20Dozen Stays at 3s. Gd., 45., 4s. 9d., to 53. Gd. CLOTHING. Men’s Suits at 15s. under usual prices. Boys’ Suits at 15s. Gd. to 355. Youth’s Suits at a little over half-price. Braces, Ties, Collars, Socks, and Shirts, unusually cheap. 20 Dozen Harvest Shirts at Is. Gd. to 2s. Gd. BOOTS. Men’s Boots still sold at Bankrupt prices. Youth’s Boots in great variety. Ladies’ Kid Boots at old prices. 1 Case Children’s Boots at is. and Is. Gd., a bargain.



TAILORING DEARTMENT. WE HAVE MUCH PLEASURE IN ANNOUNCING TO THE PUBLIC THAT A Tailoring Branch HAS BEEN OPENED IN CON. NECTION WITH OUR CLOTHING DEPARTMENT, HAVING MADE ARRANGEMENTS WITH MESSRS. CRAIGHEAD AND CO. (LATE OF EDINBURGH AND SAN FRANCISCO), PRACTICAL TAILORS, TO MAKE UP ALL ORDERS EN TRUSTED TO US IN THE. VERY BEST STYLE. A PERFECT FIT GUARANTEED. SCOTCH, ENGLISH, and COLONIAL TWEEDS IN GREAT VARIETY. THE CELEBRATED. BLARNEY TWEED (CORK) KEPT IN STOCK. j FANCY COATINGS IN GREAT VARIETY". SUITS from M 4s. DRESSMAKING DEPARTMENT. Dresses, Costumes, and Jackets made up to order, under the superintendence of a first-class Dressmaker. WEDDING & MOURNING ORDERS PUNCTUALLY ATTENDED TO. ORR AND CO., IMPORTERS ASH BURTCN AND RAKAIA



Business Notices. JUST ARRIVED, A CHOICE ASSORT MEN T ... . . . V ... ■•: ”7 ' '• "/; : •! j J: . ! .'■■■[ OF • OFFICE AND HOUSEHOLD STATIONERY, PAPER BAGS, ACCOUNT BOOKS, DIARIES, Ac. To Meet the Requirements of the County of Ashburton, WEEKS & DIXON Are now Importing, direct from the makers, Every description of Commercial, Law, and General Stationery, which they are in a position to supply, wholesale or retail, at px-ices that will compare favorably with any house in the Colony. The Goods now being opened up include a Choice Assortment of Plain and Fancy Note Papers and Envelopes, and some very superior kinds. 10 2 CASES STATIONERY 10 2 BALES PAPER



Commercial and Law Stationery Notepapers in great variety Envelopes of the newest styles Inkstands and Bottles Pens and Penholders Pencils and Pencil Cases Account and Pocket Books, Etc. Biscuit Bags Flour Bags Milliners’ Bags. Wholesale and Retail. LIBERAL DISCOUNT FOR CASH. BOOKS (SCRAP, ALBUMS, Ac., &c.) We have a small lot of the above, and being desirous of clearing out these articles, we shall be glad to dispose of them at VERY LOW RATES, so as to make room for incoming consigments of General Stationery. WEEKS AND DIXON Saunders’ Buildings, EAST STREE T 'ASHBURTON.