COMMERCIAL.

[by telegraph.] Dltnedin, May 7.

Prime beef, 225. 6d. per 1001 b ; mut ton, 2d. to 2|d. ; good sample wheat, 3s. lOd. to 4s. ; fowl s wheat, 3s. to 3s. 3d. ; oats, Is. 3d. to Is. 4d. ; malt barley, 3s. 10d. to 4s. 3d. ; feed, 2s. 6d. to 3s. ; potatoes, L2 10s. ; old hay, L 4 ; new hay, L 3 os ; chaff, L 3 ; straw, L2 ; bran, 1.3 ; pollard, L 4 ; flour, LlO 10s. to LlO 15s. large sacks; oatmeal, LlO ; pearl barley, LIB ; onions, 7s. ; new cheese, sd. ; bacon rolled, lOd. ; hams, Is. ; sides bacon, lid.

Messrs. Edmiston, Gundry, and Co. report as follows :—At the Horse Bazaar on Saturday we had about 20 entries, most of which were sold at fair prices. We quote good heavy draughts at £35 to £4O; slight draughts, £2O to £2B ; light harness horses, £l2 to £lO ; hacks, from £6 to £ll. At the Tinwald yards, on the 27th April, there were yarded 880 sheep, 98 pigs, 55 head of cattle. We sold sheep as follows :—Butchers’ mutton, 7s. lid. to 9s. 2d.; stores, ss. 3s. to Gs. lOd.; lambs, 4s. 6d. to hs.; pigs, from 15s. to 575.; cattle, springing heifers, £5 10s. to £7 2s. 6d.; good milch cows, as high as £9 ; stores, £2 ss. to £4 10s.; coach horse, £l7 10s.; draught mare, £24 10s.; one do., £l6.' On Tuesday, the _ 4th May, we had a large clearing sale in the estates of James Gardiner, D. Evans, E. Watkins, and Risely Bros. There was a very large attendance of buyers, and the bidding was keen and spirited throughout. The fol lowing are some of the prices realised : Draught horses, £3l, £27, four at £lB, three at £l6 10s., and fifteen at prices from £5 to £ls ; young colts, £9 10s. to £l3 10s.; sheep, a good line of cross-bred mutton, at 10s.; eighty-seven lambs, ss. 5d.; drays, £7 to £l2 55.; one waggon, £14.; Cambridge rollers, £l2 and £l6 each ; double-furrow plough, by Reid and Gray £l4 153.; other makers’ ploughs, from £5 to £11.; harrows, £3 10s. to £3 155.; others from £1 to £2 10s.; reapers and binders £26, £lB, £l7, £l6, £ll, £7 10s., and £7 ; binding wire, 2|d. to 3id. per lb.; seed-sower, £lO 10s.; tarpaulins, £1 17s. 6d. to £4105.; harness, tools, etc., sold satisfactorily, the sale realising £1137. The properties were withdrawn, owing to the lateness of the hour, to be offered at our rooms on Thursday next. On Satur day we held our usual sale of grain, pro duce, and miscellaneous goods, at which there was a fair attendance.

Christchurch Corn Exchange.

The following is the report of the Corn Exchange for the week ending Friday, the 7tli instant :

The tone of the market has in no way altered since last week’s report. Advices from Home continue to report the wheat market languid. Buyers are not pur chasing so freely ; prices, however, can not be said to have receded. Produce of all descriptions is being offered in large quantities, but buyers are reticent. Wheat—Large lines in good quality and in good condition, fit for shipment, will find buyers at 3s. 6d. f.o.b. Seed parcels of particular kinds are being inquired for, and will realise 3s. lOd. to 4s. in Christ church. Chick wheat is in large supply, with rather a sluggish demand. For really good quality of this description sales have been effected at 2s. lOd. ; the market, however, is weaker, and may be quoted at 2s. Bd/to 2s. 9d. per bushel; medium and inferior quality, 2s. to 2s. 4d. Oats —The market this -week is hardly so good as it v r as for buyers, the utmost obtainable for good milling quality being Is. 3d. to Is. 4d. per bushel. Feed parcels in large lines are going at Is. 2d. to Is. 2|d., according to sample. Barley—Sales are difficult to effect, only prime samples are moving off, at prices ranging from 3s. Gd. to 3s 9d. per bushel; fair medium samples are offered from 3s. sd. to 3s. 9d. per bushel, with hardly any inquiry. Grass seed is very slow of sale, only the best samples meeting with any attention, at prices varying from 2s. 6d. to 2s. 9d. Cocksfoot, 2jd. to 2|d. per lb. Potatoes are still slow of sale, with very low prices offering, 275. 6d. per ton at country stations being about the money to be obtained, sacks extra. Cheese and Butter—4d. to 4id. for the former ; Bid to 9d for the latter.

MAIL NOTICES.

Mails close at the Ashburton Post Office, as follows : For Christchurch and North at 6 a.m. 9. a.m., and 5 p.m., daily. For Chertsey Rakaia. &c., at 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. daily. For Dunedin, Tinwald, Winslow, Hinds, Coldstream, Rangitata, Orari, Winchester, and Geraldine, at 10.15 a.m. daily. For Temuka, Timaru, and South at 6 a.m. and 10.15 a,m. daily. For Greenstreet, Ashburton Forks, Mount Somers, and Ashburton Gorge, on Tuesdays and Fridays, at 10.30 a m. For Ashton, Waterton, and Longbeach, at 3.15 p.m. daily. For Wakanui, and Seafield, on Tues days and Fridays, at 6 a. m.

Mails arrive at the Ashburton Post Office —

From Christchurch at 10.35 a.m., 4.55 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. daily. From Chertsey, Rakaia, &c. at 10.35 a.m. daily. From Dunedin and intermediate places at 5.25 p.m. daily. From Temuka and Timaru at 9.25 a. m. and 5.25 p.m. daily. From Greenstreet, Ashburton Forks, Mount Somers, and Ashburton Gorge on Wednesdays and Saturdays at 3 p.m. From Ashton, Waterton, and Long beach at 10 a.m. daily. From Wakanui and Seafield on Tues days and Fridays at 2.30 p.m.

W. St. G. Douglas, Postmaster,

Tuesday, May 11

For Otago and Australian Colonies, per Ringorooma. The next mail for the United Kingdom vie t'San Francisco, will be closed at Christ church on May 22, and will be due in London on July 6. SYDNEY J. DICK, Chief Postmaster.

The Ashburton Herald AND Borough and County Advertiser (With which is incorporated the “ Evening Echo”). SATURDAY, MAY 8, 1880.

Whatever may be the feelings of the cabmen as to their right to a stand, there can be no question that their blockade of the thoroughfare at the Somerset Hotel is the cause of much annoyance to the pub lic. The cabmen themselves may be very respectable, well-behaved men ; we know nothing against the personal character of any of them ; but it is certainly a fact that just where they take up their stand there is always an army of men who are not particular as to the language they make use of, nor are they careful to make way for foot passengers, who have to run the gauntlet of a crowd of men not over scrupulous always as to the remarks they make on people as they pass. It has often been subject of complaint that the footpath in front of the Somerset Hotel cannot be used by ladies, because of the larrikins who alwaj's hang about there, and who treat every female that passes to a rude stare, to say nothing of remarks exchanged within hearing that are equally rude and sometime grossly insulting, and we know of cases in which travellers have come up to the very door of the Somerset Hotel, and, seeing the crowd of loungers hanging about there, have taken in the state of affairs at a glance, and at once made for a hotel whose neighborhood is not haunted by such an unsavory as semblage. This condition of things has been set down to the presence of the cab men, and before Sergeant Felton’s recent illness he had made up his mind to try the experiment of removing the cab men from their position in front of the hotel. If the nuisance ceased, then the cause of the nuisance would of course lie with the cabs. If it did not abate after the withdrawal of the cabs, then some other cause must be sought. The illness of the Sergeant prevented him from putting this experiment into opera tion ; but now we learn that since his resumption of duty he has warned the cabmen to remove, and the carriers have also got notice to take up their position elsewhere. No by-law exists in the town, and consequently the rule of the road must be taken from the Canterbury Ordin

ance, which empowers the police to re move obstruction of any kind—those enumerated in the Ordinance itself, and those that are not so enumerated. We learn also that this warning is no blank cartridge, but that if it is not taken and acted upon there will be an example or two made before the R.M., who will no doubt draw a substantial penalty from the offenders. The Sergeant does not appear to have any wish to injure the business of either cab men or carriers, for he allowed them to select their own site for a stand, so long as that site does not cause a repetition of the nuisance now complained off, and as the Sergeant is one of the most straight-out-from-the-shoulder sort of men we know, and wall stand no tomfoolery, the cabmen will be wise if they obey, and remove to some other part of the town ship, and go on their best manners, at least for a time. The complaints made are no fancied grievances, as they have been often and bitterly made, and the cabmen themselves know that ladies take the crown of the read for it when passing the hotel, so as to avoid passing through the knot of idlers who are always on the path between the cabs and the hotel door.

Tenders. —The Borough Engineers invite tenders for the supply of 1,000 yards of shingle, to be delivered in East and Tancred streets. Erratum. — In an advertisement an nouncing the insolvency of Henry Red fern, Tinwald, the debtor was described by a printer’s error as “ farmer,” instead of “ tenner. ”

Sly Grog. Selling. —A man named Charles Boyce was fined L2O and L 5 costs at the Waimate R.M. Court on Thursday, for selling spirituous liquors in an un licensed house.

The San Francisco Mail.— The Taia roa, with the San Francisco mail, arrived at Lyttelton early this morning, and the Ashburton portion was forwarded by the 10.35 express.

The Mount Somers Railway Exten sion. —An advertisement in another column calls a meeting of those interested in the Mount Somers Railway Extension, to protest against the alteration of the line, as the promoters of the meeting appear to think it is not the intention of Govern ment to proceed with the line to Mount Somers at all. Another advertisement, by the Engineer-in-cliavge of the Middle Island announces the withdrawal of the contract from tender.

Village Settlements. —The portions of land to be thrown open for village settlements in Dromore, Hinds, Orari, Horndon, Aylesbury, and South Rakaia, will be open for application on Monday, the 17th instant, on deferred payments, in allotments varying from 1 to 5 acres, ab the rates advertised. The purchase money is payable in ten half-yearly instalments without interest, and application has to be made at the Christchurch or Timaru sur vey offices. Bar-framed Hives. —Beekeepers— and the interesting employment of bee keeping is becoming very popular—can now be supplied with bar-framed hives after the Christchurch Society’s pattern, by Mr. T. A. Gates, Ashburton. Mr. Gates has become quite enthusiastic on the bar-frame, and is as well posted up in bee keeping as he can be. In making his hives he has most slavishly followed Dr. Irving’s ideal, and his “ houses ” are quite compact little bee cottages—comfortable dwellings for the busy honey-gatherers, and ornaments as well to any garden. The Cabmen. —The police have given the cabmen notice that henceforth they will not be allowed to occupy the stand they have chosen for themselves opposite the Somerset Hotel, and the carriers have also been warned to remove. Complaints have been made of the crowd of loafers that obstruct the footpath at the hotel, and the cause of the crowd has been attributed to the cabs. So long as the cabs were standing opposite the hotel door, respect able females were debarred from making use of the footpath ; because of the rude stares that were directed towards them, and the not always choice remarks that were made at if not about them, and in their hearing. The police mean to pro ceed, under the Canterbury Ordinance, to put a stop to this by the removal of the cabs ; and if the nuisance abates, then the experiment will at once show with whom the cause of it lay. If it does not, then some other cause must be sought for

Drunk and Disorderly.— His Wor ship the Mayor disposed of three police cases this morning. A first offender es caped with a fine of ss. Peter Kennedy, against whom nine previous convictions were recorded, was charged with the triple offence of being drunk and dis orderly, resisting the arresting constable, and using obscene language. The prisoner admitted being drunk ; but declared he had not been in such a state for two years or more, and if his Worship would let him off, he “would not taste drink again—no, not for five years.” Peter forfeited ten shillings for his too free indulgence in ar dent spirits, and for resisting the con stable and using intemperate language, resigned his liberty for fourteen days. Edward Jones, according to Constable Beaumont, was parading the streets at half-past three this morning, in a very un happy state of mind, consequent upon his being under the delusion that the had been robbed of what money he possessed. Jones evidently not being very able to take care of himself, Constable Beaumont escorted him to the lock-up, and gave him lodging till this morning. His Worship fined the delinquent 10s. or the usual al ternative of forty-eight. hours’ imprison ment. A Child’s Face Gnawed by a Rat. —A ’’singular accident happened to the child of a respectable resident in Grey street last week. The child was about two yeai’s of age, and had been punished before being put to bed. Shortly after it had been put to bed the mother heard it crying, but paid no attention, believing it to be the result of the slapping. It cried further on in the night, but the mother did not notice anything wrong till morn ing, when she saw that the child’s face had been bitten by a rat, also three of its lingers gnawed at, and the child is likely to lose one of them. The little child, it appears, had a piece of bread and butter in its hand when it was put to bed, and probably that attracted the rat. There have been several instances in Auckland of rats having thus bitten infants, and in one case in Hobson street, the child lost so much blood that its life was for some time despaired of. —Auckland Herald. |

The Coming Session.

The time for Parliament to re-assemble is rapidly approaching, and political quid nuncs are already mapping out for us what is likely to be done by the legislators. As yet, however, only very bare indications of the programme for the ensuing session have been given, but from these indica tions, and from what has been going on during the recess, it is not very clitiicult to judge pretty accurately what measures will form the piece de resistance of the ses sion about to be opened. During the re cess every public body has been asked to supply information and make suggestions on the subject of the Adminstration of Charitable Aid, and as this is a'question that very closely affects every con stituency, it follows naturally, from the interest of the subject itself, that the Go vernment’s circular has been pretty freely responded to. We will not be surprised, therefore, when we hear that the Bill of last session is proposed to be considerably amended, if the whole question indeed is not re-opened, and the present system of administering charitable aid remodelled. In fact, from the tone assumed by some leading journals in the colony, who may be assumed to know something of what is going on behind the scenes, we shall

not feel that we have been very much taken by surprise, if some completely new machinery—new at least in the colonies —be introduced for providing a means of support for the poor by the public. In any case, though the particular direction in which legislation on this subject may go is not pointed out by anyone very clearly, and by none with authority is the course Government may take hinted at, we may rest assumed that, while the ex chequer remains in its present attenuated condition, without much hope of becoming more plethoric, efforts will be made to relieve the general fund of the calls made upon it for charitable aid, and to provide for the relief of the poor and the support of charitable institutions by direct local taxation. Of course, this is only specula tion after all, but it is justified, we think, by present appearances, and there fore, we say it will cause us no surprise if a most radical change in the whole exist ing system does not take place. Then Government stands committed to a new Representation Bill, and this is a subject of peculiar interest in this district, for if any part of the colony requires to have its Parliamentary representation recon sidered this district does. The district extends over many miles of country, popu lated by people whose interests are not identical, and it is absurd to suppose that it has a fair share of representation in one representative. Most people will doubt less be curious to learn on what basis Ministers will propose to re-adjust the representation in Parliament of the New Zealand, hut beyond the fact that voluminous tables have been prepared showing the population, boundaries, repre sentation, etc., of the present parliamen tary districts, there is as yet no indication as to what basis will be adopted. It ap pears, however, to be popular opinion that population should be the principal found ation on which to redistribute the seats, and we may fairly anticipate that this basis will be chosen. In that case not a few constituencies that now have repre sentatives all to themselves, and some have two, will be grouped with other over represented districts, and the surplus members given to districts like our own that have too few. Among other measures, we may expect to hear again of several Bills that were dropped last session, and on which the party now in power enter tained strong feelings. The Regulations of Elections Bill will be one of these ; and perhaps a Licensing Bill may afford room for the airing of much oratory. It is rumored that the Property Tax will be assailed from the Opposition benches, and that an attempt will be made to at least modify its operation. If we may believe the gossip that is being retailed there is quite a stack of Bills prepared, and ready to be submitted to Parliament, so that an active session may be expected.

Great Britain and Her Colonies.

The correspondent of the Auckland Star telegraphs the following, which shows that the interest of leading politicians in England with respect to the colonies is in no way on the decline : —The election speeches of the great political leaders con tain many allusions to the Colonies, Mr. Gladstone and Lord Hartington declaring that the best way of maintaing the loyalty of the Colonies was by giving them the freest Constitution, and making them feel bound by a voluntary tie which Eng land was proud to preserve, to do all it can to help them in time of danger, and te defend them with all the force of the British army in time of war. Earl Gran ville declared that the bond between England and her colonies was one based on common interests and common feel ings, which they would never attempt to hold by force if the Colonies themselves wished to relax that bond. The pursu ance of that policy had strengthened the good feeling existing with the colonies. He added, with regard to New Zealand— “ It was my duty to carry into effect, con trary to violent opposition on the part of the Colonial Government, a policy which had been announced by the Duke of Buckingham when my predecessor, but which he had failed to carry into effect. It was not a pleasant matter to be attacked in and out of Parliament by competent persons telling one that what he was doing would have the effect of ruining New Zealand, and separating it from the mother country, but I persisted and my colleagues persisted because we knew we were right. What has been the result ? Since the creation of the Colony of New Zealand there has never been such a period of order, peace, prosperity, and good-will towards the mother country. ”

The Gas Regulator. —Some weeks ago we announced to our readers that Mr. J. C. Dolnran had received a gas regulator from Messrs. A. and T. Burt, of Dunedin, which he connected with Mr. T. Quill’s meter at the Commercial Hotel. At that time we promised our readers that we would give the result of a crucial test of the machine, after a few weeks’ trial. The regulator has had a thorough and decisive test —viz., the gas company’s bill to Mr. Quill, who states that the sav ing is something over 10 per cent. This ought to open up a demand for these gas economisers, as those who have a number of lights will find it to their advantage to to negotiate with the local agent.

Political Meeting at Auckland.

(by telegraph.) Auckland. May 8. At the public meeting last night Reader Wood said he had urged on Sir George Grey not to resign the leadership of his party, and after the negotiations of the four Auckland members with the Govern ment commenced, he had urged on Sir George to resume the leadership, promis ing his support if he did so. Colonel Whitmore was mentioned, as leader of the party, but declined. He (Mr. Wood) was only bound to the Hall Government last session, and would not be a blind sup porter of any man. Mr. Robert Lusk, in a condemnatory speech, moved a vote of thanks. Mr. Joseph Bennett proposed, as an amendment, a vote of confidence in Mr. Wood. The vote of thanks being lost, Mr. Hooker moved a vote of no confidence, which was also negatived, and the motion of confidence in Mr. Wood carried.

CABLE NEWS.

LATEST FROM EUROPE.

(Per Renter's Agency. ) The Atalanta. London, May 7.-- The Channel Squadron has returned from a cruise in search of the missing training ship Atalanta. The mission has proved to be fruitless. [The above telegram, after the disap pointing information that Comniordore Wilson had received no information of the Atalanta’s safety, leaves the matter where it was, and we now fear the worst regarding the vessel and her crew.]

AUSTRALIAN.

(Reuter's Telegrams.) The Knowsley Hall. Melbourne, May 8. A bottle has been found on the beach at Portland, containing a paper signed “ John Webster,” and dated February 23, 1880, stating that the ship Knowsley Hall was wrecked on the Crozets, and that all board perished, except three, who are destitute, and are subsisting on fish. Doubts are generally expressed as to the authenticity of the message. The Dibbs Slander Case. Dibbs has been arrested and his furni ture seized for payment of Shepherd’s costs. Mea/b Preserving Companies A meeting has been held to initiate a meat freezing company with a capital of LIOO,OOO Brisbane, May 8. A meeting was held yesterday to start a meat freezing company, towards which capital to the amount of L 50,000 has been subscribed. The New South Wales Licensing Bill. Sydney, May 8. A crowded meeting was held last night, which adopted resolutions denouncing certain clauses in the new Licensing Bill, which are calculated to suppress Sunday lectures. The Hon. Bowie Wilson was in the chair, and David Buchanan, M. L. A.; Charles Bright, the freethinker ; and Rev. J. Bowie spoke.

NEW ZEALAND.

The Road-Making on the Waimate Plains. Hawera, May 8. The road works on the Waimate Plains rre advancing slowly at present, as each camp has to contend with a bad swamp in advance of them. The swamp cannot be avoided, unless by going to the sand hills on one side, or the sea beach on the other. After the swamps are passed, the country improves, and the work can be proceeded with more speedily. Attempted Murder. Auckland, May 7. James Smith, for attempted murder of Mr. and Mrs. Washer, at Wangarei, was committed for trial. The Civil Service Commission. The Civil Service Commissioners leave here on Tuesday. An Awkward Jump A Mrs Ward, suffering from low fever, during the absence of her nurse who was soliciting aid of a neighbor to control her patient, got up and jumped down a well. Two men rescued Mrs. Ward ; she had threatened to take her own and her hus band’s lives. , Inquest At the inquest on John Metcalfe, who dropped down dead at the Evangelistic service, the jury retured a verdict of “ Death from disease of the heait. Sir George Grey. Sir George Grey’s meeting at Auckland is now fixed for Tuesday evening ; he is in full health and vigor. A Queer Discovery Blenheim, May 7. A remarkable discovery was made by Mr. Boon on his farm at Manse road this morning. Whilst digging a post hole, the spade struck on something hard, which, on closer examination, proved to be a skull. On sinking the hole deeper, Mr. Boon brought to light a complete skeleton of a man. The bones have the appeai’ance of having lain a long time in the ground, and as a small greenstone adze was found beside them, they are most probably those of a native. This supposition is borne out by the fact that traces of a native cooking place were found on the same section some time ago. Wreck. Wellington, May 8. The Seci’etary of the Marine Depart ment has received a telegram from Have lock, annoucing that the ketch Forest Queen, from Wellington to Waitara, with railway iron and carriages, struck on the Inner Bock, off Jackson’s Head, on Thurs day. She is now beached in Guard’s Pas sage, and can be saved if immediate as sistance be obtained. Her master brought the news to Havelock, and returned to the wreck. The Forest Queen is owned by Captain M‘lntyre, Wellington, and is insured in the New Zealand to LGSO, of which L 250 is re-insured in the Colonial. The cargo is fully insured by all offices, to the value of about LIOOO. The insurance offices are arranging to send a steamer from here.

Captain Bendall, Secretary of the Underwriters Association, leaves for the

Forest Queen by the Charles Edward this evening. The brigantine Isabella will also be chartered to proceed to the scene of the mishap. Sir William Fox’s Candidature. Turakina, May 8. Mr. Snelgrove, the deputy returning officer for this place, only arrived at 9.40. Many electors were waiting at 9 o’clockt and left without voting. This will affec, the validity of the Rangitikei election. Horsewhipped. Dunedin, May 7. Some fun was caused to-day by a horse whipping case taking place in Watson’s Hotel. An individual known as “How let, B.A. ” was soundly thrashed with a light walking stick by Herbert, who re cently wrote a phamphlet under the non de plume “ Kosinos. ” A Court case will esult.

CHISPA’S LETTER.

“I am not yet so bald that you can see my brains. ” —Longeei.low.

It is a very wrong thing for you, sir, to put stories in your paper like that about the bachelors and the stray cow that roused them out of bed

“ At the noon of night on an Autumn eve.” I have had my windpipe jeopardised a hundred times ■ since the yarn appeared. First one representative and then another of the various colonies of bachelors in town have been down upon me, breathing threatening and slaughter for the yarn. It was in vain I told them I was respon sible only for my own column, and not for every yarn, good, bad, and indifferent, that appeared in the paper. It was no go. They would have it that the yarn was mine, and so.I have had to bear the brunt of their wrath. I don’t mind that, since my friend, Sergeant Felton, has gone into uniform again, and has a good substitute for the departed Maroney in the new man. But the queerest affair is that most’of the bachelors seem to think it was no business of mine that they milked a stray cow. Am I justified in coming to the conclusion that the idea is not a new one, and that the incident you related is not singular in Ashburton ? Bravo, milk away, my boys. I look upon you as pub lic benefactors, for if you keep emptying the lacteals of every stray cow that come 3 about you, you will have no need of a pound.

Merchants of Ashburton, wipe this out if you can : —“ Another battle ! In con sequence of the encroachments made by the enemy (credit) on my pens, ink, paper, postage stamps, bank interest, &c., &c., there is bound to be another engagement in u the course of a few days ; the scene of action will probably be somewhere between my own shanty and the ‘ Cri terion.’ Scouts will be thrown out at once, hearled by Brother Jink, and the indemnity will be considerably increased should the contest he carried into the in terior. No quarter will be given till the whole is ‘ shelled out ;’ so keep your powder dry, and ‘look to your priming,’ as the big guns L A W and R.M. will take some licking. Oats are cheap, and the war horse is in prime condition ; there fore, ‘ take time by the forelock’ is the parting cry of H. Billens. —[Advt.]” I get the foregoing from the Akaroa Mail, a paper that was planted by my old friend, Joe Ivess, and his experience in municipal affairs in Akaroa he was never tired of re peatiilg. I never expected very great or very good things from Akaroa, even if Joe’s resplendent wisdom did consider it good enough for him to put in one of his eighteen-monthly periods in. But this scream from the local Josh Billings is good. May he find LAW and the R.M. a good investment. Here we find them a very unprofitable spec altogether.

There was a huge commotion at the Police Station one day last week. I got a straight tip about the trouble, and went down to see. There were the Sergeant and Constable Rouse, and .Constable Clark, and Constable Beaumont, and the others, all in a terrible state of agitation. I asked what was up that they should show faces blanched with terror, and creep about

“ Whispering with white lips.” After they had had time to settle a bit, I was able to get out of the agitated Rouse the one word “ murder.” It came from between his jaws about as unwillingly and accompanied by as painful an expression of countenance as came the last tooth I had pulled by my friend Cambridge from my own upper gum. “ Murder ! ” I felt queer indeed, but then I am a good citizen, and I told the Sergeant that if any aid of mine would be useful in tracking the assassin he could command me. He expressed his joy, and led me to the evidence he had obtained. Carefully opening a drawer in his own private office, he pointed with great awe to an open matchbox, and in it there lay an ordinary bone button. I looked up to his face in quiringly. “That button,” said he, “was brought to the station to-day. It is evi dently the means of suspension that the dead man used when in life for his trousers, for you see it is palpably a trousers button.” I took in the possibility at once of the button having been used for fastening suspenders to, “ but,” I asked, “ where is the dead man 1" “ That’s just what I want to know,” he said. “ The button was found right in the centre of a pork pie, and it stands to reason that wherever that pie was baked there was a man murdered —else how could his buttons get about like this ?” I could not deny the logic, and went off to investigate. So did the Sergeant. We went to every bakehouse in the town, but not a baker would own to that button, or to any knowledge of it. Each had his full staff of men upon his establishment, and as the button was an article of male apparel, the dead man couldn’t be a woman. We made every inquiry, but we only succeeded in enraging one baker, getting chaffed by a second amusing a third, and getting kicked out by a fourth. (Note —It was I who was kicked out ; and if I was sure of getting a summons served, I would proceed for damages against that kickist. His name, however, rhymes well with kicks, and I may yet sing a song in his honor). But we could find no trace of the dead man’s body, though there were many suspicious thoughts ran through our minds, and the awful rage of the first-mentioned baker makes those thoughts still more suspicious. But notwithstanding our failure to find the dead man, I feel sure there has been murder done—else how could a braces button get into a pork pie ?

THINGS IN GENERAL.

xv. O, shade of Pope ! inspire heroic story ! I sing the glories of a lawyer’s wig. An Arab steed did yield his tail - his glory— To crown the sable gown—the ancient rig Of learned men who follow legal lore ; be Sure few of them catch it, as the cunning P*g. . With well-greased tail, escaped capture’s endeavor, Our lawyers grasp it never—hardly ever. XVI. But suitors pay the piper for th’ intention — All cannot win, and someone, sure, must lose. Our laws are natural foes of comprehension ; And our Supreme Court is the very deuce. Olympian Judges give their whole attention To subtle points, and quarterly amuse Themselves at Wellington hearing appeals, Demurrers, rules nisi —cards the Devil deals. XVII. The wig I sing did once on Afric’s plain Woo the soft breezes from the Middle Sea, And spicy gales from India’s sunny main Did fan the tail of Arab, bounding free, Heir to a hundred steeds ; but, still, in vain The gallant Arab before Time did flee ; Rude Time was swifter than sirocco wind— The Arab died, and left his tail behind. XVIII. In early times this tail to wig had grown— I cannot be exact about the date, As ’<is not stratified ; nor is it known If Iron age or Bronze saw it in state ; But to a Christchurch artist—Brice—’twas shown. And, not all vantageless on P ’s pate, It met the artist’s critical regard, Who said, “ It cannot go befoie Judge Ward.” XIX. T’was all rumfoozled, and it lacked a tail, Poor Hamlet’s ghost was better furnished there, He could unfold one, but this wig did fail, To show a stump ; and so with anxious care, And various implements, Brice did assail The tangled scheme. Belinda’s lock so rare Was not more big with fate; and as Pope’s measure Immortalised her lock, so I this treasure. XX Outside the statute, it was by parole Agreement mended, and at three pounds ten, Securely packed, it was sent to its goal, The railway station hard by where I pen These flowing lines, but on the legal roll, The most particular of legal men Is he whose name was on the band-box placed, This ancient wig was not quite to his taste. XXI. Goods bargained and sold, the declaration stated, With work and labor as the cause of action, While the Professor to be compensated For alt his toil under this legal paction, Brought ’gainst defendant so t’was fated This wig should grace the Courts, a great attraction ; But not expected to look quite so well As when it graced they noble brow P—-. XXII The case is pending before Mr. Mellish, Lawyers and barbers will be there to see How legal wits will suitably embellish A brainless wig arnieus curia ! O, Duces Tecum ! you’ll look rather svvellish, When this famed wig will thy exhibit be. Not Eldon’s wig, of. which Tom Moore once wrote, Reached greater fame than when it found a Poet. XXIII. But now forsaken in the dark recess Of rialway store, it lies in statu quo ; Disowned by all, no longer doth it press The teeming brain, altho’ it soon may show Its glories in the legal fray, nevertheless, And notwithstanding, as aforesaid, it lie low, And there I leave it— Fame, but sad condition, While evidence is taken on commission. Chispa.

Saturday, M a\ 8, 1880.1

THE ASHBURTON HERALD



mHE “ Herald ” is published every 8 evening, thus giving every day s news. This is better than buying a Six penny weekly.



ASHBURTON RETAIL LIST.



s. d. s. d. Butter, inferior to best It) oio to i o Eggs, If dozen - - iio to 20 Cheese, prime quality, If lb o 6}4 to o 9 Bacon, prime smoked, If lb 00 to 00 Hams in cloth, If lb - o o to o o Flour in bags, If xoolb 14 6 to 00 Oatmeal, If 25ft - 5 o to o„ o Lard, K> - - - o 9 to 00



Miscellaneous



PLOUGHMEN. Wanted, SITUA TIONS for a few Good Ploughmen. Apply Herald Registry. 421c’ QiCROOL Requisites and Artist M ite O rials. H. M. JONES, Statio ler, Baring Sciuare. WANTED KNOWN—That C. Haw kins, The Tinwald Bootmaker, has REMOVED to premises Opposite the Tinwald Post Office, where hejgs still open to Sell first-class Boots and Shoes at his usual Cheap Rates. All kinds, of Boots Made and Repaired. Sosg—4l7c LOST —Between Saunders’ Buildings and Mill Bridge, a CARRIAGE WHIP. Apply, Office this paper. 42Gc RIMITIVE METHODIST C HURCH Wills Street. —Divine Service will be conducted in the above Church to morrow Morning and Evening by Rev. A. J. Smith. , 405 c WANTED— Smart ERRAND BOY Appty Herat. iqOfiice. 425c-837g ITT ANTED —A BLACKSMITH, must V V he a good Shoer. Apply im mediately to ROBERT PATTON. 428-cß3og Mount Somers. OFFICE and Pocket Diaries for 1880 H. M. Jones, Stationer, Baring Square. ANTED Known, the “Ashburton Herald ” circulates throughout the Provincial District of Canterbury. CHINIQUY’S LECTURES. —Just Ar rived, New Edition H. M. Jones, aring Square. ,£IO,OOO rate of interest. Ashburton. TO LEND, in sums to suit borrowers, at lowest F. P. O’Reilly, Solicitor, 424c-Bd»g CHRISTMAS Number Young Ladies Journal, London Journal, Family Herald, Family Reader, Boys’ Standard, &c. Just arrived. H. M. Jones, Sta tioner, Baring Square. v. SMM r- OTICE —The “AshburtonHerald, is a Gazette for all notices under the Debtors and Creditors A He In V. R. the District Court of Christ church, Holden at Ashburton. IN THE MATTER OF The Debtors and Creditors Act, 1876, and the several Acts amending the same, and of the bankruptcy of HENRY REDFERN, of Tinwald, in the County of Ashbuton, Tanner, a debtsr. Notice is hereby given that the above-named debtor has this day filed, in the above Court, a declaration of his inability to meet his engagements with his creditors. The first meeting of creditors will be held at the District Court-house, Ash burton, on WEDNESDAY, the 12th day of May, 1880, at twelve o'clock in the forenoon. Dated this seventh day of May, 1880. C. CAVENDISH HURRELL, Clerk of the Court. E. G. Crisp, Solicitor for the Debtor. 429 c



Important to Farmers. —Notwith- standing the number of vessels which were put on for the shipment of grain from Lyttelton, it appears that the supply is not equal to to the demand. In consequence of this a large quantity of produce is being stored in port at the cost of shippers. An advertisement in another column from the Railway Department advises farmers to make arrangements for shipment before sending their grain on to Lyttelton.



Men and Fish. —Every time that a steamer anchors at Aden, numbers of little boys swim round the vessel, and dive for the coin pitched over to them in the water by the passengers. Their skill is undoubtedly great, but the fisherman of the Nicobars, and a few amongst the Sea Dyaks of Borneo, are reputedly the most skilful swimmers in the world. The men of the Nicobars capture fish by the hand. They glide about in their light skiffs, in tently watching the translucent water ; when they obtain a favorable opportunity, they take a sudden dive straight down upon their finny prey. The fish are gene rally so startled that they dart hither and thither, now up and now down, without continuing their swift'movements in any one given direction. The diver has, therefore, little difficulty in coming with in arm’s length of them. It is, however, esteemed to be but a poor feat to seize and bring up one fish. A man should be able to catch, simultaneously, two fish, one in each hand. This is frequently done, and the best swimmers think nothing of it. If a man wishes to show his prowess in the water, he chases and kills a shark — often twice as long as himself. To many of the fishermen of the coast of Nether India, shark hunting in water is some thing like what fox-hunting on land is to us in England. —Once a Week.



Holloway’s Pills. —Important for the Delicate.—lt is difficult to determine which is he more trying to the human constitution —the damp, cold days of the autumn and winter, or the keen, dry, easterly winds of springs Throughout the seasons good health may be maintained by occasional doses of Holloway s Pills, which purify the Wood and act as whole some stimulants to the skin, stomach, liver, bowels, and kidneys. This celebrated medicine needs but a fair trial to convince the ailing and desponding that it will restore and cheer them without danger, pain, or inconvenience, as by a timely recourse to them the first erring func tion may be reclaimed, suffering may be spared and life saved, —Advt,