THE FUNNIEST of MARRIAGES.

HOW BUFFALO BILL PERFORMED THE CEREMONY FOR A COUPLE. A good story is told of how he per formed the ceremony of marriage while he was justice of the peace. It was his first attempt, and the applicants were of the true western type. They called upon Cody in the log cabin where he held his justice office. Bill had a book of forms, which he took down and studied attentively to get some idea of how he should tie the knot. There were forms for nearly every transaction of life, but he failed to find what he was looking for, and finally slammed the book down and observed to the parties:—

“ You two fellers join hands,” and the “ two fellers ” did so.

Then he said to the groom—“ Are you willing to take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to love her, honor her, and obey her?” “ You bei your butes,” was the re sponse of the bashful hair-lifter.

“ And you, rniss, are you willing to lake this here man to be your wedded husband, to love him, honor him, and support him ?” She giggled and nodded in the af firmative ; but this didn’t suit Bill, who said—See here, miss, we’ve got to have this thing on a dead square, and we can’t marry folks by halves in this ■country. We are bound to go the whole hog. If you want this man for a husband you must speak out and say so, as though you meant it sure. I’ll ask you again. 'Will you take this here ■man ho'be your lawful husband, to love him, honor him, and support him?” This time the lady responded bravely, “ Yes, sir, 1 will.” This satisfied his honor, and he re marked, “ That settles it. Now, look ■here, you two; you are man and wife, ; and whoever 'Bill Cody and God Al mighty have joined together, let no ‘man put asunder.” “And now,” added Bill, “let’s take another sip of tarantula juice, and drink 'to the happiness of the happy couple,” which everybody with true Western unanimity proceeded to do.

A form of challenge ’to a duel is the following Quaker note :—“ If thou wilt cat twelve unripe apples just before re tiring at night, I will do the same, and we shall see who survives.

It was an Irish pilot who, being asked if he knew of the rocks in the harbour, replied with confidence ‘ I do, yer honor, ivery one ov them. That’s wan,” he added calmly, as the ship struck it, ■filled, and sank.

A lady, who was suffering under a slight indisposition, told her husband that it was with the greatest difficulty she could breathe, and the effort dis tressed her exceedingly. “ I wouldn’t try, my dear,” soothingly responded the husband.

A well known tradesman was accosted the other day by a girl with “ Please, sor, will ye change rna mullier haif-a croon ? ” Complying with the request, ■he was surprised to see her walk towards : the 'door with the two shillings and six pence in her possession. Fie at once shouted, “ Stop, my dear, where is the half-crown?” To which she replied, “ Oh, raa muthor’ll sedd it up on Satur day when she gets her wages 1 ” Madame X. has just sent away her cook, who had too many mili tary visitors, and replaced her by a guileless country lass. The other day she took a look into the kitchen, and there saw a superb-looking soldier tast ing a bowl of soup. “Is it possible you, too, are guilty of this kind of thing, Sophie ? ” “ Please, ma’am, you are mistaken. This is no doubt one of the soldiers left over by the last cook.”

A clever thing was said by a pretty girl the other day. A ponderous steam Toller, about as heavy as a Woolwich infant, crashed through the cellar of a bouse in Chelsea A wondering crowd wore unable to suggest what the unfor tunate owner of the tenement should do under the circumstances. Said a young girl, “ Fie ought to put a notice up at once, ‘lf this article is not re moved by the owners within twenty-four hours, it will be sold to defray ex penses.’”

TI-IE EVENING ECHO, TUESDAY, MARCH t 2 , 1878.

Printed and Published by SMITH James Furness and Charles Dixon, at their Printing Office, East Street, Ashburton, Tuesday, 12th March, IS7S..



PUBLIC LIBRARY HALL. W EDNE SD SMITH & Co.'s NEW GRAND PANORAMA OF THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR OIET 1870. First Time in New Zealand. Large Magnificent Views of the Gigantic Struggle between the French and German Empires. Admission —3s and 2s. Children half price. Reduction made for Families. Doors open at 7.30, to commence S.



WANTED Runners for the Evuninc Echo. Good wages to smart boys. WANTED, by a respectable young man Board and Residence in a quiet family., Apply at the-ECHO Office, East-street. TO LET.—A 3-roomcd house, with between four and live acres of land attached. Apply .to G. W. ANDREWS, East Town Belt. MESSRS BULLOCK & CO., Ashburton, General Merchants, Auctioneers, Slock, Sta tion, Estate, and Commission Agents. Sales of Stock, Farm Implements, &c., will be held at their Yards, Ashburton, every alternate Thursday. CASH Advances made on Stock, Produce, •&c., consigned for Positive Sale. BULLOCK & CO. MRS. E. PETERSON, DRESSMAKER, (Two doors from the Echo Office). All orders executed with neatness and with promptness. GEO. ST. HILL, BUILDER AND CONTRACTOR, Burnett Sstret, Ashburton. Plans prepared and Estimates JurnisJied. EXCELLENCE, PUNCTUALITY, AND SATISFACTION SECURED BY Taking your Printing TO the ECHO PRINTING OFFICE. EAST STREET. CARDS, CIRCULARS, PROGRAMMES, INVOICES FANCY SHOW CARDS, HANDBILLS, SHIPPING FORMS POSTERS, LABELS, BILLHEADS, CATALOGUES. PAMPHLETS, MEMORANDUM FORMS, Arid every description of Letter-Press Printing executed in a style not to be surpassed in the Colony. Colour Printing.



TO FARMERS. WE five to prepared to make Liberal CASH Advances on Stacked GRAIN-. A few splendid Samples of SEED WHEAT and OATS for Sale. SAUNDERS BROTHERS, Ashburton and Christchurch. CHARLES REID, ASHBURTON SHOEING FORGE, CORNER Of EAST AND DODSON STREETS. A LARGE and varied experience in the Manufacture and Repair of Agricul tural IMPLEMENTS and MACHINERY warrants C. R. in guaranteeing Sound and Satisfactory Material and Workmanship. HORSES safely and scientifically SHOD on the Spot, STORAGE. GRAIN and other PRODUCE STORED on Account of Farmers, at Lowest Rates. SAUNDERS BROTHERS, Ashburton and Christchurch. LOTTO, Draughts and Draught Boards, Dominoes, Cards and Cribbage Boards, &c., at FURNESS AND DIXON’S, East-street, Ashburton.



ALTEEATIONS I ALTERATION'S I I SELLING OFF FOR A FEW DAYS LONGER. _A- O- AITKEW &; Co., Are now making EXTENSIVE INTERNAL ALTERATIONS in their PREMISES, until the completion of which the} 7 intend holding a CLE_A_E,I3STG- S-AIEE AT GREATLY REDUCED PRICES . REMEMBER— A Few Days Only. GKR!E_A_T CHEAP SALE AT YX- O- AITKEN <Sc CO.’S, HAVELOCK STREET, ASHBURTON. Advertise and Grow Rich J THE BEST ADVERTISING MEDIUM IN THE COUNTY OF ASHBURTON IS THE E~V~E3STITTGi- EOHO,’ Published Daily, Price One Penny. ROOM FOR ADVERTISERS



ALPHABET CARDS and Boxes, Mayor’s Spelling, Royal Readers, Slates, Pencils, Copy Books, Drawing Books, and other school Requisites to Be obtained at our premises, East-street, Ashburton. FURNESS AND DIXON, Stationers’ Hall. G. G. ANSTEE, BUILDER AND CONTRACTOR, EAST STREET, ASHBURTON. Eveiy description of Carpentering, and all kinds of Jobbing Work, Shop Fittings, &c., done on the most reasonable terms. Pictures Mounted and Framed-! TO FARMERS. TA 7D are Buyers of all descriptions of VV 'GRAIN, at highest cash prices. SAUNDERS BROTHERS, Ashburton and Christchurch. PLAN of ASHBURTON, -on Sale at the office of the “Evening Echo.”