STEAMING A COLD.

(From the Danbury News.)

Mr. Dodge was suffering from a severe cold, taken while in discharge of a pleasant duty, viz., taking his wife’s mother to the poor-house. The various remedies for cold had been faithfully administered to the sufferer, yet he ex perienced no relief. He had been cat siped, mustard plastered, paregoriced, pork-drafted, cider and peppered, goose peppered, goose-oiled, and composi tioned, till his anatomy was as tender as a boy’s first boil. His bugle peal had been heard far and near. He had blown the frilling out of a dozen cam bric handkerchiefs, sneezed till he broke his false teeth, bit his tongue, and made as much fuss when he coughed as a dog choked with grass. And now his wife resolved to give him a rum sweat. So she went up to the attic, and brought down a great lumbering chair with a big hole in the bottom. Getting it into position, she took a plate and set .it under the chair. She then brought in a comfortable, and led in the victim, who seated himself in the chair without a murmur. Then she asked him if he had anything to say why she should not proceed with the operation. He answered no, said he was innocent, shook hands with her, and told her to do her duty, and then with a look of resignation closed his eyes and calmly awaited his fate. Mrs. Dodge then enve loped him in the comfortable, leaving only his face exposed. Pouring some rum on the plate, she ignited the fluid and waited the result. It was three o’clock when she touched off the rum, One minute past three there was a slight contraction of the patient’s legs, and shrugging of the shoulders. Two minutes past, his eyes began to roll uneasily. Three minutes past and he commenced to beat time with his feet Four minutes past, his respiration was greatly accelerated. Five minutes, he gave vent to a suc cession of short grunts, and his face had assumed the color of a boiled lobster. Then Mrs. Dodge saw that the rum was nearly burnt out, so she told him he must keep quite and bear it five minutes longer—rten minutes was the rule. He told her he couldn’t stand it any longer. She said he must, and went to the cupboard, got the bottle, and poured some more liquid on the plate. Immediately there was a blind ing puff, the comfortable was thrown aside, and a half nude figure leaped from the chair, and shot through the room like a meteor, his nether gar ment one sheet of livid flame. There was a smell of burnt cotton, and a streak of blue smoke which marked the passage of the fiery body. Mrs. Dodge smothered the flames on the plate, then went in search of her patient. She found the back door open, and going into the yard, failed to discover her husband till she saw something bobbing up and down in the swill barrel. He had jumped into the first cool place he could fined. All that was left of his shirt was a piece round his neck ; and this looked like a continental collar bound with black edging. Mrs. Dodge told him it was her mistake, and his treat; she had poured turpentine on the plate instead of rum ; she couldn’t help it, the bottles were so much alike. Then she told him to get out of the barrel, and go into the hen-coop, where the hens • would pick him over. But Mr. Dodge wouldn’t. She got him to get out of the barrel, cleaned him, carded his hair, brushed the coffee grounds out of his whiskers, gave him a clean shirt, and sent him to bed. Mr. Dodge slept well through the night, but arose earlier than usual in the morning, and was quite busy for a time out in the yard. After breakfast, Mrs. Dodge thought she would carry the chair back into the attic, but on looking for it could not find it. Thinking, perhaps, Mr. Dodge might have carried it upstairs, she thought no more about it until she went to the woodpile for some wood. Then she knew why Dodge got up so early in the morning. The chair fur nished kindling wood for a fortnight.

The EVenirtl Echo, Saturday, October 12, 18^8.



UNION BANK OF AUSTRALIA, Established 1837. Paid-up Capital ' ... 00 ) 003 * Reserve Funds ... ,£780,000. '■jpfllS RANK receives DEPOSITS at IN TEREST, and transacts all General Banking Business on the MOST FAVORABLE TERMS, which can be ascertained at its Offices in Plereford Street, Christchurch, and at its other Branches and Agencies in the JOS. PALMER, Chief Office? fiw'Naw Zefjiind.



THE FIRE: WE beg to express our Sincere THANKS to thd Members of the Ashburton Fire Brigade, also to all those who kipdly assisted ill keeping the Fire from our FRIEDLANDER BROS. SOMERSET LODGE. A LODGE of INSTRUCTION, in con- I X nection with the Somerset Lodge, will be held in the Lodge Rooms on MONDAY, 14th instant, at 7.30. CHARLES BRADDELL, Secretary.



WESLEYAN HOME MISSION, AND CHURCH EXTENSION FUND. SERMONS in aid ‘of the above Fund will be preached in the Cameron Street Church TO-MORROW by the REV. W. S. HARPER, of Temuka. PUBLIC MEETING On FRIDAY, at 7.30 p.m., when the REV. A. R. FITCHETT, 8.A., of Dunedin, will be present as a deputation.



ASHBURTON GAS, COAL, AND COKE COMPANY (LIMITED). A GENERAL MEETING of Shareholders in the above Comi'any will be held on MONDAY, 21st OCTOBER, at 3 p.m., in the Town Hall, Ashburton. Business: The adoption of Articles of Association. The election of Permanent Directors. The adoption of Provisional Directors’ Re port, And other Business. Shareholders residing at a distance will be entitled to vote by proxy. JOSEPH IVESS, Secretary, pro tem. TO STATIONERS, SHOPKEEPERS AND OTPIERS. FOR SALE BY PUBLIC AUCTION. MESSRS. BULLOCK & CO. have re ceived instructions to sell by public auction, at their rooms, East Street, ON MONDAY 14TH INST., Without reserve, A large and well-selected assortment of— Stationery, Ledgers, Cash Books, Jour nals, Books, Cards, Drawing Blocks, Albums, Musical Boxes, Magic Lan terns, Mathematical Instruments, Work Boxes, Maps, Concertinas, Desks, Letter Presses, Barometers, and a large assortment of Fancy Goods. Sale at 2 o’clock sharp. BULLOCK & CO., Auctioneers.



October 24. TO MECHANICS, RAILWAY EMPLOYES, CAPI TALISTS, SPECULATORS, & OTHERS 84 VALUABLE BUILDING ALLOTMENTS. 84 MESSRS. BULLOCK & CO have re ceived instructions from Mr. F. T. Mayo to offer for sale by public auction, at their rooms, East Street, on October 24 — 84 VALUABLE BUILDING ALLOTMENTS, 84 A portion of his Freehold Property, adjoining the Township, and fronting Moore Road, being a continuation of Moore Street and Havelock Street, and will be found very suitable for Private Residences, being close to the Town ship. The land also being of really First-class Quality, can easily be made available for Gardening Purposes. A plan can be seen and full particulars obtained at the office of the undersigned. Terms of payment most liberal, namely, a Cash Deposit, the Balance by instalments Sale at 1.3 c p.m. BULLOCK & CO., Auctioneers.



WANTED, an APPRENTICE for Wood- Turning, Carpentering, and Cabinet making. Apply to JOSEPH RULE, Moore Street. TO LET.—Four-roomed Cottage Apply to C. PERCY COX. WANTED A Few Young Ladies as Apprentices to the Dressmaking. A. 0. AITKEN & CO. WANTED —An Apprentice for the Print ing Business. None but a Respectable Intelligent Boy need apply. ECHO Office STRONG BOY WANTED to work at a Printing Machine. Apply • ECPIO Office. TOOARDERS. —Accommodation for Two or Three Respectable Boarders in a Pri vate Family, on the North Belt, Ten Minutes walk from the. Railway Station. Terms, £\ per week. Apply ECHO Office. RUBBER STAMPS ! RUBBER THE only Manufactory in Ashburton for these very useful Stamps, which can be made any size, shape, or design. Rubber Stamps for Cheques Rubber Stamps for Receipts Rubber Stamps for Banks Rubber Stamps for Societies Stamp. Trdy and Pads supplied at Moderate Prices at the EVENING ECHO OFFICE, East Street,



A FOR SALE. QUARTER-ACRE SECTION in Have lock Street) on very easy terms. Apply ECHO Office. T. CHAMBERS, gO O T A N D S H O E MAKER East Street, Begs to notify to the public of Ashburton that lie has now in Stock a Splendid Assortment of Boots and Shoes from the Best Makers, and all orders entrusted to him will have every attention. Boots and Shoes, sewn or pegged made to order of every description and the very best materials. Terms Cash. T. CHAMBERS, PROSPECT BUILDINGS (Next to Montgomery’s), EAST STREET. Wood Turner and Venetian Blind Maker. JOSEPH RULE Moore Street. I" S prepared to execute all orders for Wood L Turning, Venetian Blinds, Bedsteads, Tables, and every class of Furniture. Window Poles on hand, or made to any sixe. ~ CHARLES BRADDELL, GENERAL AGENT, Agent for Press Company, Limited. Secretary Town Hall Company. Agent for National Insurance Company. Removed to Montgomery’s Buildings, entrance from East and Burnett Streets. CANTERBURY DYE WORKS. (Near the Post Office) CHRISTCHURCH. J SELLARS is still Dyeing to Live, and • Living to Dye. Ashburton Agents: WEEKS & DIXON, Where particulars may be obtained, and Orders left. WORNER’S EMPIRE BOARDING HOUSE ! (Opposite Parkins’s Steam Saw Mills). MR. G. WORNER begs to intimate to the public of Ashburton that he has pur chased the Boarding-house recently kep by Mr. T. Bradford, and having made extensive alterations, he is now prepared to supply first class accommodation to boarders, and others visiting Ashburton. Meals i /-, Beer given with dinner; Beds x/- Board per week, £l. G. WORNER, Proprietor. MESSRS. HOBBS & CO., MERCHANT TAILORS, Christchurch HAVE much pleasure in informing the Gentlemen of the Ashburton District that, in response to the invitation of several influential residents, Mr. F. Hobbs will, on Saturday next, be piepared to take orders from their New Spring and Summer Patterns at Quill’s Hotel, Ashburton. Arrange ments will be made to fit on all coats, and a Perfect Fit will be guaranteed. HOBBS & CO.



BAKERS’ NOTICE WE the uudersigned Bakers of Ashbur ton, beg to inform the Public that on and after the 26th August, we will reduce the price of the Quartern Loaf to 7d delivered and over the counter for cash. We trust that the public will still continue to support us, and take into consideration that we are not Millers, but Bakers, and are paying a LONG PRICE for GOOD FLOUR, so that we may satisfy the public by supplying a good article, free from all adulteration. Let this be your motto— “LIVE AND LET LIVE” Signed— THOMAS HICKS. THOMAS TAYLOR. MASSON & GRANT. ASHBURTON SWEEPSTAKE ” ON THE CANTERBURY CUP. 0 be run for at CHRISTCHURCH, on NOVEMBER 6th, 1878. icoo Members, at 10s. each. Drawing to take place on TUESDAY, Ist NOV. Tickets to be had flom A. PEARCE, Hon. Treasurer. Tobacconist and Hairdresser, Moore Street, Ashburton. SONS OF TEMPERANCE BENEFIT SOCIETY. rIITS useful institution meets every alter nate Friday in the New Templar Hall, Moore Street. New members inv'.led. All information can be obtained from Bros. G. W. Andrews,' East Town Belt ; K. Sando, East Street ; Thos. Williams, Tinwald. Next meet ing on the 27th inst. A. J. ANPKEWS, RS,



To Farmers & Others. UNDERSIGNED HAVE CONSTANTLY ON HAND Farm Implements. AND AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY Of Every Description. WOOL PACKS, SHEEP SHEARS, FENCING MATERIAL. GRASS & CLOVER SEEDS, JUST LANDED Ryland’s Best Fencing WIRE, 6,7, 8, 9 & 10. PORTLAND CEMENT, CHAFF CUTTERS, PLOUGHS, CAMBRIDGE ROLLERS, CORN CRUSHERS, HORSEPOWERS, ETC. Also, SOSFEL OAK Galvanised Iron, IN ALL SIZES, Which we are now Prepared to Sell at MOST REASONABLE PRICES. 100, CASH ADVANCES Made on Growing Crops, Shipments of Wool and Grain. FRIEDLANDER BROS EAST STREET, Ashburton.



DRAPERY. NEW GOODS! NEW GOODS !! A. O. AITKEN & CO. Are now opening up, a large and choice assortment of NEW SPRING AND SUMMER DRAPERY, Which will be offered at PRICES LOWER THAN EVER. New Dresses New Fischues New Prints New Ribbons New Feathers New Flowers New Hats New Bonnets Note the address A. O. AITKEN and CO. The Pantechnicon, HAVELOCK STREET Ashburton.



GRAND SHQ New Goods AT **? a’*?.. E are now opening up a second shipment of UNTIE'W GOODS, Consisting of Gents.’ Black Satin Hats Gents.’ White Shirts Gents.’ Black Cloth Suits Gents.’ Trouble and Single Breasted Suits'; Gents.’ Felt Hats Gents.’ Kid Gloves Gents.’ Colored Shirts FLOWERS, io boxes New Flowers 5 ~ New Feathers 30 ~ New Ribbons 50 shades of Bonnet New Ribbons FOPLiES & SILKS. A large assortment of 1 real Irish Poplins, direct from Pirn Brothers, of Dublin. PRIHTS. An immense assortment of New Prints, French Checks, and Stripes in great variety.



COSTUMES. A large assortment of New Costumes are now being opened up. BOOTS & SHOES. JUST RECEIVED, io TRUNKS NEW BOOTS. Men’s Watertights, pegged and riveted. Ladies’ Kid Boots in great variety. Children’s Boots of every make. DRESSMAKING DEPARTMENT. This department is managed by a First-class Dressmaker, with competent assistants. A PERFECT FIT GUARANTEED. Prices Strictly Moderate. ORR AND CO.



NEW DRAPERY ESTABUSHMUI GLASGOW HOUSE; MONTGOMERY'S BUILDINGS,, EAST STREET, ASHBURTON. W. GAVIN HAS great pleasure in announcing to the inhabitants of the Ashburton County that he is now offering, at the LOWEST PRICES, New Spring and Summer Goods. Millinery, Prints, Hosiery, Children’s Frocks, Toilets Horrockses’ and American Long Cloths Muslin and Lace Window Curtains Marseilles and Honey Comb Counterpanes Haberdasheiy and Gloves Men’s Boys’ and Youths’ Clothing Shirts, Hats, Ties, etc. Goods marked in Plain Figures. One Shilling Off Every Pound Purchased for Cash. Motto— “ Small Profits and Quick Returns.” TEA. TEA. 100 BOXES 50 HALF-CHESTS The above will be found Pure, combined with strength and Fine Flavour. ORIENTAL TEA COM PANY’S, in 11b and y 2 lb packets. We are Agents for this Tea, and would advise the public to give it a fail* trial, as it is highly spoken of. ORE & CO-



NOTICE ! NOTICE !! NOTICE !!! REMOVAL, Firth, Pass, Sc Co. Beg to inform the Inhabitants of Ashburton and surrounding districts that they have REMOVED TO THEIR NEW PREMISES Next the Union Bank of Australia EAST STREET. JpiRTH, PASS, & CO. take this oppor tunity of thanking their numeious customers who have so liberally supported them hitherto, and to solicit a continuance of their pationage at the NEW PREMISES, TO BE CALLED The Old Bank Stores (LATE UNION bank). Orders entrusted to our care will re ceive prompt attention. Families waited on for orders weekly. FIRTH, PASS, AND CO., Grocers, Drapers, Ironmongers, WINE AND SPIRIT MERCHANTS, &C, East Street.