The Ashburton Guardian.

Voh xxi. no. 5197

Ashburton ; Wednesiay, August-22 190(3«

pricb One Penny

STORY OF AN ARMY MULE.

There is an amusing article iVTrath" in which a true story is told us of the manner in which bneinees is carried on in some of our military offices. AH soldiers with any office experience will at once recognise the tale as one which has probability stamped upon it. A | military correspondent tells us a true ! story of an army mule which is really not able to beat and which occurred iv ilie South of Ireland not more than five years ago, A certain battalion had on i its charge thr. c transport borses and four mules, two of which were used to draw the Maxim guns and two to carry ammunition. One of the gan mules had to be cast for sickness or some infirmity. Application was made through the " osuai channel " for t aother to take its place. After a little time the answer was received that no mule was available at the time, but that a small horse which would do what was required would be issued. The horse was iesued, arrived, and was duly "taken on charge.' When the return of animals on charge was rendered to the Quartermaster-Gen eral,addressed as required to the Adjut ant-General, at the end of the month, it was returned with a civil request that the return would be amended as by some error it showed four horses and three mules on charge instead of vice versa. To this a courteous reply was sent pointing out that a horse had been issued in exchange for a male, and recalling tbi transaction to memory. Back came |a letter, somewhat more peremptory in tone, " through the usual channel, "de macdiDg that the return should be at once amended, and stating that no record could be found of the alleged substitu tion of a horse for a mule. Again the correspondence, now growing in bulk— and postage—went back to its exalted source, with a further explanation of the transaction. Again it was returned, this time with a peremptory request thai the return would be amended without further correspondence. Again it trav elled back with the reiterated statement that mule was a horse, Back it came with an order that the animel should be examined and its species determined by competent veterinary authority. Now the colonel of this battalion was Tery proud of holding the certificate of the Aldershot Veterinary School; he accord ingly certified that he, holding this certi ficate, had that day examined animal number so and bo, and' that it was a horse and not a mule. BaLk came the reply that no infantry officer c;mld be regarded as a satisfactory veterinary authority, adding that orders had been sent to the G O 0 of the district to de tail a veterinary officer to render the re quired certificate. This officer came, at some expence to the public, saw the horse, certified it was a horse, and a great department of the State was satis fied, and an interesting and instructive correspondence was brought to an un timely (?) end. Moral— The War Office cannot be humbugged.-- West minster Gazette

A Quaint Misunderstanding.

I am reminded in this connection of a story about a former Duke of Argyll. A Lord Provost of Edinburgh was giving evidence in the Houss of Lords as to some rioting which had occurred in that city, and whs asked by the then Duke of Newcastle wh*t sort of shot the town guard had in their muskets when they fired upon tbe rioters, la his broad northern, dialect tbe Lord Provost replied: "Gu 1 juist sic as ane shoots dukes and sic ilk fulfis wiT» The Lords were thunderstruck with what seemed a contemptuous answer to their question, and were about to send the Scotsman to prison for con tempt of the House of Lords, when tbe Duke of Argyii, who until then had been convulsed with laughter at the strange torn matters had taken, inter posed, Be smoothed the difficulty over by explaining that the worthy Scotsman meant no insult to the House, and that his answer, when translated into intelligible English, meant that the shot was similar to that used to shoot wild ducka and other water fowl.



SHAW, SAVLLI. AND ALBION COMPANY. LIMITED, FOR LONDON. <*$Vk 'ROYAL MAIL S'JfEA -4ssmggs!^ MKIIS, with superior accommodation for all olasGaa " -'SRK!*!®«* o f passengers, o&lHng at Monte Video or Rio, Teneriffe and Ply month. "Veaiel |Tos Oommauderl From Date. Gobhio _f77ZO KMley Wel'b'n Sepb 13 loni «.|474BlKempßon...i — ~" CARGO STEAMERS. Delphjo 8273Sowden Lybtiton June 2 Wiwera 62Q0Stuarb Aobea 6564 Evans ,' i _ >j3' __ E. W. HANMBJR, Agent. MMi nil HE jSMfSt NEW ZEALAND ■' LINK "ROYAL MAIL STEAMERS FOR LONDON, t« Video, Sfeaeriffe & Plymeuth. * Probable Sna!. Steamers.: Tons. Port. Daro. Obarama 3808 Lybtolbon Vug 14 Papauui 6372 Wellington Awg 23 W&katane 8000 — ,Oatober 4 Waimate 5610 — 'Co follow Wakaani 5706 ! — „ Bakaift 5623 — „ Paparoa 7000 — » W&ikato 4767 — „ Rimataka 7700 —  Tekoa 4050 —■ „ Bangitikei 7700 — „ Baapeha \ BCOO — „ Wat further partloalaro appljr ta JTRIEDLANDER BROS., Laro. UNION STEAMSHIP COMPANY OW NEW ZEALAND, Limited STEAMERS 9 All 'FECMLITTELTON AS UNDER: Fer Wesbporfi and Greymouth—Weekly Wellington— Monday, Tuesday, Thurs* day and Saturdays NOTE—For.extra sailings see advertise meet in Christehurch papers Dnaedin — Mondays, Fridays and alternate Tuesdays and Saturdays Nelson and Picton, via Wellington- Tuesday and Saturday Sydney, via Auckland — Alternate Thursdays The above are eubjeob to alteration ; eforence shonld therefore be made to Ohrtstchareh dally papers for dates and hour of sailing For further particulars apply to F FERRIMAN, . Agent, Ashburtoa (successor to Alfred Harrison.) Established 20 years. AUCTIONEER, LAND ESTATE AND COMMISSION AGENT AND VALUER WEEKLY SALES of Live Stock Produce, Furniture, etc., EVERY SATURDAY, at 12 o'clock. Olearicg Sales of Stock, Household Furni ture, eto., as per arrangement in stay part of bbc county, Advonces made on all goods placed in my bands for Sale. Begular Consignments of Colonial Grown and Island Fruit sold pivately through the week, and at Auction on.SATURDYS. Agent: Norwich Oaion Fire Insurance Company & Broaden Pianoforte Manufacturing and Agenoy Company. PIANOS and ORGANS on time pay masts from QOs per month. HENRY STEPHENSON, AUCTIONEER* Frank Curtis, j Watchmaker, & WEDDING PRESENTS. A VERY Choice variety in Sleotro-plabe £L aod Starling Silvor, including a beau tiful lob of Doulton ware, «te., at prices bo tuife the times. INSPECTION INVITED M 'usual my stock of Gold Rings and Brooches, Charms, Mug Chains, Watches, fito., is the largest andijbest aeleoted in the district). SPECIAL ROOM 3, FOR CHOOSING IF REQUIRED. Wedding rings and keepers 13ot, of my own maaafaoture I make a special line of, and are well worth inspecting being far and away better finished than the ordinary article, and costing no more, Ib will pay you to call and see them. Your old gold, rings, etc, re-made in the same style and finish at ; nominal cost. Wedding rings ALTERED IN SIZE WITHOUT CUT. TING WHILE WAITING, BY SPE OIAL MACHINERY. Silver watches from 30a upwards, a fu ■took of i JRotherwßiie, Waltliawas, eto, slwaye on hand. Sgjacbaoiea specially fitted for reading at Dighti. Spectacle fitting by my system is not guess work, glasses being fi itcd to suit the sight perfectly in every case. A special room for testing. Glasses from 2s 6d. Test" ing free» Repairs ac usual, neat, prompt, and reason able. Silver charms in great variety from la i pwards. A. AGER, ABOHITECT. AHOABK OHAMBESS, ASHBUETOK. TTF you wsnfe a NEW HOUSE, or Altera tions, @t Newasb Style of Deooratieas, OONSULT MR ACER. 6all and see the I^EW EIBEOSE BLIND, JaUmWtiu ofiVmietiaa, ab half bhe price. 5 191



\ TN THE COURSE OIP THE NEXT FEW DAYS OUR Travelling Representative, ML" C. Mclntosh, Will call on yon, soliciting jour order We are Agents for the Celebrated i " McCormick f> Binders, Big 4 Mowers, AND Daisy |Reapers. Also the— P. & P. Manures, The finest Fertiliser ia tke World. i ! SOILS ANALYSED FMB OV CHARGE. Morrow, Bassett &\po t I ASHBURTON|



H. M.^JONES. H. M.£JONES. STATIONERY BOOKS. ACCOUNT BOOKS. 9f\A r\r\r\ ENVELOPES, Imported direct. Commercial Envelopet i \J\JKF f r o m 3s 6d per 1000; 5000 at 3s per 1000. Boxed Stationery, latest styles, from 6d,,9d, Is, Is 6d, 2a box, PIANOS. ORGANS. I 44"paym8nt8 of £1 each will purchase a splendid overstrnng, fall trichord, massive iron-frame Piano, up-to-date in every particular. Only £1 required to be paid at time of purchase, Oall and see this before you buy elsewhere. Organs from IDs per month; Pianos from 20s per month. BICYCLES. BICYCLES. A thoroughly well built, strong, well finished, npto-date Lady's or Gentlemen's Machine, guaranteed, for £14 IOs 5 for one Month Only. h. m. T~o n c s. DAVID THOMAS, AUCTIONEER, LAND, INSURNCS k S*iM3 A.GHffIOT VALUATOR, WOOL & GRAIN BROKER, ASHBU R T O N. Loans Negotiated Weekly Sales of Livestock —Tlnwald and Aahburtonfalbernately j Forinighbly Sales of Sheep Skins, Fata, Hides, ?etc.,fon Mondaya i Sales of Wool Throaghoafc the Season ! Grain Bought ana Sold on Commission Clearing Sales as per arrangements Arcade Horse and Furniture Sales fheld on Saturday a Horse Fairs held Monthly AGENT FfOiß— Matson and Co., Chdatchureh Booth, McDonald and Co., Ohrlstcharoh White's Sheep Dip Walter A. Wood Co. Bowron Bros. 1 Belting London and Lancashire Insurance Company Graham's Font Rot Composition Wright, Stephenaon and Co, Dunedin Belfast Manures Vacuum Oil Company's Agricultural Oils PLANET JR., GARDEN AND FIELD TOOLS. RARAIA DISTRICT SALES. I Have made arrangements with MESSRS HARDY & GO., Merchants, Rakala, to act as my AGENTS tor all Auctioneering Work in that District, and in con with Jthem it will be my endeavour to make the KAKAIA B&.LE A SWOOESS, DAVID THOMAS.HAshbnrton I have the following properties in my hands for Sals—• 2000 ACRFS WESTERFIELD. 600 „ COR WAR 1750 „ RA.NGITATA 1000 „ LAURISTON ALSO— A complete Suburban Property, containing 87JJAcres, Grahau's^Roadj D. THOMAS ASHBUBTONf



Manning & Go's NEW SEASON'S BOTTLED ALES AND STOUT, IN QUARTS AND PINTS, THE BESTIN~THE MARKET Equal to the Leading Brands of ENGLISH ALES. Agents for Ashbnrton—MEsfits Shear man Bros. ■ """ MRS HUNT. REFRESHMENT ROOMS Meals at All Hours; Taoortd Street, opposite MoConem/s Stables. Busiest shop in town, T 30 WANTED KNOWN. J. L. HIGGB HAS Paints, Oils, Turps, Glass, Scrim, &o. } alao ohoioe Paperhangings. PRICES LOW. High Class Decorative Work a Speciality, Don'b forget. — 7 64 Colkkak's BoiLsmft, Tanored Streat. OWING to a great increase in bmineia, we have arranged for extension of premises, and to avoid removing and aborin a lob of our Stook, will hold a Genuine Clearing Sale For One Month, previous to the builders commeßcing operations' This is an opportunity rarely met with of obtain ing New and Seasonable Drapery and Cloth* tog at Greatly Reduced J Prices.—RoStoßX Alcobw.*



IT IS PACKED TO PLEASE. AND SERVED ITS MISSION. HOJN DAI-LANKA CEYLON PACKED AND SEALED TEA Drinkers of Tea BLENDED for Extra ProEt try UNBLENDED flondal-Lanka. by Messrs Shearman Bros., Messrs Cooeh and Co., Messrs Carson & Son, and J. Sudseil, Tinwald. FENCING MATERIALS. STAKES, STAKES, STAKES Barbed Wire. Plain Wire. IRON STANDARDS to order in any quantity. COAL. €OAL. COAL. Tf YOU Want Good WESTPORT COAL! IF YOU Want Good BLACKBALL GOAL! IP YOU Want Good NEWCASTLE GOAL! IF YOU Want the Most Economical Coal in the market, get "SHAG POINT." ■ ; Send your Orders to us,"and you will save money, and keep your temper good. We have .all the above Coals, and can supply your wants immediately : W. H. COLLINS & CO., REMOVED TO MITCHELL k TUKNEK'S OLD PBEMISES, TANORED STREET NOTICE TO FARMERS. ARE CASH BUYERS OF PRIME MILLING WHEAT IN ANY QUANTITY Please take your Samples to the Mil] We can supply Oornsacks at cost price, CANTEEBUEY EOLLEE FLOTJE MILLS. (ROLLITT AND C 0.,) J. B, HOBART, Manager] 17th MarA 1900.



NEW GOODS FOE WINTER. NICHOLAS & PICKFOeD TTAVE pleasure i» informing their numerous Patrons that they have landed' ex Mamari' Another shipment) of Boots, Shoes, Slippers, and i E V eni ng B hoes FOB WI»TEB T»ADE Included amon&st these are Ladies * j Gentlemeras', and Childreos' Warm j Slippers, (A splendid variety,) The whole of our Imported Gooda bave been purchased direct from the Manufacturers and marked off at the very lowest margin of profit; and we confidently assert that in no other shop in the district can a better aasor-1 ted Stock, at such uniformly low I I prices be found. ' I wmmmmm EVENING SHOES Upwards of 20 different Styles in Laeies 1 Evening Shoes to choose from, prices from 39 to 18s 64; Gentle mens" Court Shoes in ail styles, and at wonderfully low prices. NICHOLAS "& PICKFORD, ! BAST STREET. BAKER BROS., FURNISHING TTNDERTAKERB, URNISHIKG U NDERTAKERS, DIRECT Importers of Beet and Latest Designs in FUNERAL FURNISHINGS. FUNERALS conduced with the greatest care and satisfaction, afa most reasonable charges. Corner of Wakanui Road and Oaes Streets, and Baker and down's Coach Factory. MOTHERS ! Have you delicate children who ara always taking cold and sub ect to croup! If so, try Tonking's Linseed Emulsion, which will euro where all other medicines fail. Sold by local chemists and grocers in bottles, Is 6d and 2s §d. 246



. ASHBURTON PERMANENT BUILDING |AND |INVESTMENT SOCIETY. \ T 0A N S G RJA N i:E D FROM {and upwards, at current rates. Full Particulars on application. EDWARB STEPHENS, Manager, Office —Tancredj Street, MISS BESSIE SIMMOJSDS. MUSIC Seller and Teacher of the Violia, Mußical instruments of evei/ deaerip tion VIOLINS a SPECIALITY. Mnslo and Songs by every mail. First-class Quad rille Band. Burnett Street, 483 Opposite Publiehiag ompany* LLEWELLYN OWEN, M'O\S.M. CERTIFICATED TEACHER,; „, LOCAL Representative! of the London College of Musie.Jandjjf the; t Mußioa! International College, •PIANOFORTE, ORGAN, VIOLIN, MAN DOLINE, SINGING, HARMONY AND COUNTERPOINT. H. Undsill., c, unpbill T H UNDBILL ■& CO FURNISHING UNDERTAKERS^ TANORED STREET, ASHBURSCON I EVERY REQUISITE ON HAND. Polished Coffins a Specialty* A Choice Assortment of Artificial "Wreath* in Stock. —._. Private Address, Peter Street, directly behind Oddfellows' Hall; also care ef Mr T. Andrews, East Be] t. 2 j ... » A 3D Mas AiCQBN's Sale—7.'rimmed Mil- Xl_ linery half price, Felts, SLraws.Ribbonß, ; Wings, Qailla, Flowers, all fl.reatly reduced. Speoial bargains in Laces, Embroideries and Underolothing. Corsets from h lid, 10 per cent discotsnb on stampe d work, Berlin Wools, Perlines, Silks anc'* Arasenes during the sale. ' : : ' ) BUILDERS will fjnd id to their advantage ' to get estimates for Ironmongery from Habdlhy Bros.



E W HANMER. £T0 FARMERS. I AM prepared to make .* very Illiberal cash advances on all produce—Grain, Wool, Frozen Mutton or Lamb, Sheep Skins, eto, etc., which may ba placed in my hands for sale here—or for sale by my representatives in London. I shall not charge any Commission here for the advance—and my representatives in London having; the full knowledge of dealing with aH produce consignments which they may receive, and having plenty of money to meet my drafts, will not sacrifice anything entrusted to their care, if there is the slightest chance of doing better by holding for a while. The question of selling indis criminately because they do nob know per sonally the consignor, is a very strong fea ture in the mode of doing their business, which has always recommended them. . E. W. iIANMER. CHEAP FARMS NEAR TINWALD FOR IMMEDIATE SALE. A A ACRES, with splendid little Home* Btead. The farm is in good heart, i Also,— 114 ACRES, WITH HOUSE, ETC. Both Farms are well sub-divided and well watered. Apply at once— £. W. HAHM EB . OSBORN COOMBE, PIANO TUNER & EXPERT (Late of London), TS NOW in Aahburton' for business. ORDERS may be left with MR LLEWELLYN OWEN at hia Music Studio, Arcade Chambers, Ashburton, or at Commercial Hotel. _ J. V. DE BEER, WATCHMAKER & JEWELLER. NEW GOODS. HEW GOODS. A VERY CHOICE AND HANDSOME OOLLEOTIOH Of Opal Jewellery. , This Gem is now more fashionable than ever, and is at last receiving the attention that ita beauty always warranted, bat was long withheld, owing to unreasonable superstition. PENDANTS, BRODOHES, PIFS, Designed aa a memento of the War. ! SOARP PINS, An exact miniature in Gold of the Lee-Metford Cartridge. A Beautiful Assortment of GOLD MUFF CHAIN INSPECTION INVITED. J. V. DE BEER, East Street, Ashburtoa. SHAREBEOKER AND FINANCIAL AOEOT ; 185 HEREFORD STREET, €HRISTCHUBCH. T> ELIABLE Information on Dredgiu XV Stocks. Correspondence Invited. Codes : Bedford McNeM's, Moreing and Neal's, A.8.0. Oode (fourth Edition. MR ALBERT ROBEETS, Ashburfcoc ' Representative Telegraphio Addkbss : GRAVES, Chrietchurch. 3 21 OHIAP WINTER FIRING. NEW MOUNT SOMEBS COAL. OUTPUD has Trobled during the las twelve months IT IS USBi) EVERYWHERE. This Coal is the Best and Cheapest Steam tnd Household Coal in the market. Used in the Woollen Factory and Oaate oury Flour Mills, GIVES SPLENDID RESULTS WRITE FOR PRICES EO @. T, PARK, MODNI 80MERS. MISS W SIMPSON, Teacher of Piano forte, Havelock Street, Eaab Beit, wishea to notify that she has a Scat-class I Qtadrille Band available for Dances, Wed ' ding parties, Concerts, and Socials. For Terms & etc, apply to D. Lbixss, Burnett Strait, 7 17



[ A CARD. 1 | \ Branch Office has been opened by tbe I undersigned at ME3986 Niooll Bros., Eag I Street, where they will carry oo practice as Barrister! and Solicitors. MAUDE & HARMAN, ! ■ Solicitors, Cfaristohurcb Money'tOjLend ab Lowesb]C«rroab Babes? on Freehold Seonrity. No Procuration feat MAUD! & HARSSAB, 12 48 Aehburbcn,



(Six Months in Bed in the Wellington Hospital and Undergoes an Operation, but 'Plantekoa' cures Him, also cures His Daughter of Chicken Pox. Yietoria Street, Petone, Nov. 22, '99. To Proprietors, PJa.itekoa Remedies. Dear Sirs, —For ovet three years I have Buffered from Hydatids and Enlargement of the Liver. Two years ago I was admitted to the Wellington Hospital, and after cartful and thorough examination by the doctors, ifc was decided that I should undergo an operation. My condition at thab time was very low, my liver being swollen to such an extent that the doctor outlined ib on the skin with a pencil. I remained in the Hospital six months, most of the time confined to my bed, and although every attealion was bestowed upon me by the doctors and others, I left that institutioH very litile improved in health. However, I resumed my usual occupation afc the local Gasworks, bufc shortly after waa compelled to hj up again, this time with Jaundice in addition to toy old eompkinfe. You can readily understand my condition waa awful. I suffered terribly with pain in the stomach and bowels. The feeling used fco bo of a sinking nature, witih gnawing sensations in the pit of the stomach, usually coming on about an hour after raeala. No medicine I tried did me any permanent good, until I used your wonderful PLANTEKOA. This medlcioe seemed to attack the disease almost at c.^e, and atber giving ifc a fair trial, it has fulfilled my highest expecta tions. The pain ab the atomach is gone, my liver has resumed it* natural state, the jaundice has disappeared, and ray skin is now quite c Tear. My appetite is splendid, and I can eat and sleep and work now with pleasure and comfort. I might also add to this note thab while using Plantekoa, we gave some to our little girl, who had bbc chicken pox very badly. In conjunc tion with Plantekoa OJntmenr, a cure was soon brought abemb. I give you this bestimonial of my own free will, and shall be pleased to answer any enquiries relative to my case, either personally or by letter. (Signed) Stewart Dundas Goedon. Agents— AUSTRAL BTOiIC COY EAST STREET. Wholesale— Planfcekoa Proprietary, Wellington. Each Ingredientf^~ used En ScfSi^ is of Perfect Nothing is allowed to enter its com position without first Toping thoroughly j tested, all doubtful qualities are passed ; by. The Cod Liver Oil is the finest Norwegian, the Creasote is the best Becchwood Creasofco, the Hypophos phitK-s et Lime and Soda arc chemically pure, and the eggs are fresh as fresh can bo. F- ach in gredient is the best thab money can buy. That's one reason why Lane's Cbeasoted Emulsion is so pala table. The most delicate invalid can take it without disturbing the stomach It is a medicine-food, and has a lung healing flesh-forming value that no other Emulsion can. approach. Your physician knows. Ask him which Emulsion is best for you. « ®AII Chemists and Stares Sell LAKE'S CBEASOTED EMULSION. PRICE 25... S~^ UNS ! Guns ! Guns ! i Double-Barre v!T Breeoh loading reduced to £3 10a II firab class guns reduced to prioas to suit any sportsmanab Hardley Bros. MKS JOHNSTON rpE&OHER of the Pianoforte and inß'nS* Havelock Street. ~ moneFto lesix I HAVE Trasfc Monies for Investment ia sums of £500 to £5000 on Firsi MOMGi6IRtIOW% C A UV riDztNDER, TarcfodeeSbrb , '" SI§S~CAK«OJNI. nnEAOHEE of Pianoforte and Organ X. For terms, etc., apply aS Residence Corner of Wills and William Streets nea W&k&maßoadEMto. j



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" Ourselves as Other Sib Us."— Oar friends are generally too polite to tell us our faults; bub they seldom fail to observe the fit and BtjSe of our clothes. Young men who want to make good impressions, must bear in mind that " appearance goes a long way." An ill-fitting suit is uncomfortable, and an " eye-sore "to your friends. Don't risk it t If you are a stranger here, the first well dressed citizen you meet will gladly direct you to " The Leading Tailors whero you will always find a large assortment of 1 Up to date" suitings to select from, and where you can always depend on getting satisfaction. The large and still increasing business done by Messes Craig head and Bebrtman speaks volumes. This firm ha* just imported ptobably the finest stock of new seasons tailoring goodß ever shown in Ashburton, including a beautiful range of the new rain proof Baavers and Meltons for Covert Goats and Chesterfield overcoats, both ashionable and durable. 4 Cinnamon Cure, Wahoo, Koolibafc or Benjamin Gum s"> 2 AsHBCBtO Dbug C i. ANTED KNOWN—That our Ladies Winter Jackets and Capei are &n exceptionally choice lot, being at onoe stylish and moderate in Prices.— Mitohkli. & Turner . ■ OB SALE — Gaivftiiised Iron £qttftre Tanks, aiso Corrugafced Iron Tanks from 150 gallons to 1000 gallons—Apply Haepley Bros