A HEADLONG COURTSHIP.

H erf w >-

"MEVER HEARD HOW DUGALD M'PHAIL GO3

MARRIED?" Gaelic idiom, it will not be because I am trying to give the narrative a na tionality, but because it all comes back to me In the expressive words in which I first heard it, and I must trans late it as best 1 can. While Shamus told the story his face was alternately In the light and shadow, but whatever his position I could always see his eyea sparkling between his bushy eyebrows and the patriarchal white beard that hung from his high cheek bones to his ample waist.

"So you've never heard how Dugald KcPhail got married, haven't you? Of course most of the old people who knew it are dead now, and Dugald has been the head elder in the U. P. church for 20 years past, thanks to his wife Betsey, who made a man of him. But 40 years ago everybody knew it, and Tiger Dunlop laughed at it till the last day of his life. . I often wonder he didn't make a story of it for Black wood's or Fraser's, for he wrote plenty in his day, and they were good ones, too, though he had no very high regard for the truth. But perhaps it was be cause he and Betsey came to be great friends, and lie didn't think.it right to ,make the wits of London and Edin burgh laugh at her husband. He al ways stopped over with the McPhails when the business of the Canada com pany brought him this way, and many a time when I was a boy I made an excuse to go over to the house to hear his jokes.

"Well, the truth is that when Dugald McPbail made up his mind to get mar ried he just ran amuck, as I am told that the negro Malays do when any thing touches their brains. He was a boy of 40 at the time and so bashful that he wouldn't come from the fields for his meals when any of the women or girls of the settlement were at the house on a visit.

"His mother died iij the fall of the year, and he and his father kept bach elor's hall through the winter, and a dreary tfine they had of it. The old man was getting weak and thin blood ed, and many a morning he sat before the fire and grumbled because he lack ed the care he was used to. A house without a woman is not a home, but a den, and before spring the old man felt that unless a woman came to take care of them he would not be long for this world. He was too far stricken in years himself to think of marrying again, but Dugald was just of the right age, so he raised the mattes .with him.

" 'It Js time you got married, Du gald,' he said one morning, "'Poof!' said Dugald. 'Are you los ing your head?' " 'You are 40 past,' the old man kept on, 'and I was only 37 when I married.' "To get away from the subject Du gald went out to the slashing to chop. But the old man had the notion in his head and kept thinking about It and talking to Dugald every chance he had till Dugald began to think of it, too, and when be started to think of it he began to stare at the girls in church, and the more he stared at them the more he thought of it, for the McPhails are a set people, and when they let their minds on a thing they think of nothing else. But Dugald was the most bashful man in the country, and, though he stared at the girls, he would color to the roots of his hair if one of them happened to look back at him. Still I have always noticed that when a backward man screws up his courage he will do things that an ordinary man would not have the face for. "Well, the old man kept talking right along, and Dugald kept thinking, and when the spring came he just about

Sbamus Mhor Campbell told me this story one winter night as we revolved before the open fireplace in his old log house. Our backs were freezing whik crar faces were scorching, and it was Dnly by turniug like chickens on a spit that we could keep comfortable in front of the cord wood fire. He told it in the highland Gaelic, not because he could not speak English, but because he could be more fluent in his mother tongue, so this version is merely a translation. Moreover, it is translated from the spoken word rather than the written; but, being true, I hope it will not lose all its humor in the retelling, [f from time to time I chance to use a

made up his mind that the old man was right. But he had the seeding to do, and he kept in himself until the spring work was done and there was a resting spell between the seeding and haying. Then one fine morning he turned his horses out to pasture, put on his Sabbath black clothes and was trying to comb his hair when his fa ther came in and asked what he was doing. " 'I am going to get married/ said Dugald as hard as brass. " 'And whom are you going to mar ry?' " 'Mary McMillan.' " 'Little Mary?' 41 'Yes.'

"•You are a fool,' said the father. 'She la only a baby. What we want Is a wife to take care of us and not a child to raise.'

" 'But it's me that's to marry her,' said Dugald.

" 'Hech, it is, is it?' said the old man testily. 'But I can't see how a sensi ble man like Dan McMillan would ever be such a fool as to let a baby like Mary marry a big redheaded oaf like you, even if I am to leave you the farm.'

" 'He hasn't been asked,' said Du gald. 'Folks going to get married now don't have things made up for them by the old people and ministers as they did when you were young.'

" 'And when dicLyou have time to go sparking Mary without Dan having his eye on you? lam even surprised that Mary didn't give you a clip when you asked her.'

" 'But I haven't asked her yet. lam just going to now.'

'"Poofl" said the old man. 'Yon are a big fool, Dugald, and know nothing of the ways of women. Now be sensi ble and let me send for the minister and Tiger Dunlop and old Mrs. Mc- Gugan, and we will pick out some nice body suited for you and do things in an orderly way.'

"But Dugald didn't say a word. He just walked out of the house and start ed across the fields toward McMillan's place. He was a redheaded giant then, though you wouldn't think it when he takes up the collection now. As I said before, he had worked himself up to a point where he was no more himself than a negro Malay that had run amuck. Having always been bashful, be didn't know how to talk to women, so when he got to McMillan's he just walked into the kitchen where Mary was working and spluttered out: " 'Mary, I want you to marry me.' " 'What are you talking about, you big, long legged gander?' " 'The house is lonely without a mis tress, and I have been looking at you !in the church and have made up my ) mind that you are the woman I want.' " 'So that's why you have been gawking at me in church, is it?' I " 'But you often looked back at me.' I " 'How could I help it when you used to turn round in front of me and stare at me with your big fool eyes?' And then without another word Mary grabbed a kettle of hot water off the crane in the fireplace and soused Du gald with it. It took him fair, and he lot a yell o-ut of him like a heathen In dian. Before he got to the door she gave him a couple more splashes, and, though it didn't scald him, it made him yell. Her father and mother heard the noise and came running in, and when they found out what was the matter they said it served him right, so Du gald went away and sat down in the woods to dry aud cool off. "Now, the McPhails were always proud, and Dugald made up his mind i that he wouM show the young hussy that he could get a wife when he want ed to. On the next farm lived the Mc- Beans, with four strapping daughters. Though Dugald had never thought of one of them for a wife, he made up his mind to go and ask, though he couldn't make up his mind which. But that

didn't matter, for in the end he asked them all, and none of them would listen to him. Instead they all got mad and joined in pommeling him so that he was thankful to escape with a whole skin. But his blood was up, and he was going to get a wife before he stopped if it cost him his life. None of them would be able to say that he couldn't get a wife, and he put into his doings that day as much boldness as another man would show in a lifetime, "The news of his goings on soon got around, and when Mrs. McGugan, the settlement's matchmaker, heard of it sho hurried to see his father to find out

[f it were true. When she found It was, she planned right off what they must do. " 'We must spnd for the minister,' she said, 'and for Tiger Dunlop, and then we must hurry and catch him be fore he makes a perfect fool of him self.' "Within a couple of hours the search ing party was hot on the trail of Du gald and tracing him by his defeats. It was never known just how many girls he proposed to that day, but the num ber has been put as high as 14. " 'Let us hurry!' exclaimed the Tiger as well as he could with laughing. 'If we don't catch him before he reaches the Irish settlement, one of the Biddies will marry him out of hand.' "But when they finally overtook Du gald they interrupted him in his hour Df triumph. He had reached John Mc- Farlane's place and had proposed to Christy, who was 40 years old and cross eyed. Now, Christy had long been waiting for a husband, for she was tired of keeping house for her two brothers and father, and when she got over her first surprise she was begin ning to think favorably of the proposal made by what remained of the amor ous Dugald. Her father came in just then, and, finding how matters stood, ordered Dugaid out of the house. Du gald refused to budge until the coy Christy gave her consent, so the old man called his two sons and told them. They would rather lose their best team than their housekeeper, so the three of them piled on him at once. But Du gald's blood was up, and the eyes of Christy were upon him. When the searchers arrived, the redheaded hero was just after thrashing the father and two sons and was trying to get his breath to propose to Christy again. But the diversion and the unwonted exercise brought him back to his usual condition of bashfulness, and he let the Tiger, who could hardly keep his feet for roaring and laughing, lead him to the wagon by the collar, and they took him away home.

"That evening they talked matters over, and next day a match was ar ranged with Betsey McPherson, a fine old girl, who was past the age of fool ishness, and after it had been announc ed in church they were married, and a happy marriage it turned out to be. She was sensible, and, though folks laughed at Dugald, she lived to see him an elder in the church. "Poor Christy MeFarlane never got over the heartbreak from losing such a fine husband, and when Dugald was put up for elder she did all she could against him, saying that a man who thought no more of his word was not fit to hold such an office. "And that was the way they made matches in upper Canada when I was

SHE GAVE HIM A COTJPLB MORE SPLASHES. young," said Shamus as he tried to stir up some life in the fire before which we were turning like whirling dervish es because the frost was constantly narrowing the circle warmed by the (lying blaze. ■ "The courting came after the mar riage instead of before it, and I don't know that it was a bad plan, for none of it was lost." As I could not gainsay this assertion I climbed to the loft and made myself comfortable in the pile of blankets on the spare bed and dreamed of a court ship that was more modern.

"YOU ARE A TOOL I"

Chinese Civilities.

Men began to pour into the road way from every quarter, hooting, and some ran ahead, always a bad sign. I proposed to walk, but the chairman said It was not safe. The open chair, however, was equally an abomination. The crowd became dense and noisy. There was much shouting and yelling. I recognized many cries of "Yang kwei-tze" (foreign devil) and "Child eater 1" swelling into a roar. The nar row streets became almost Impassable. My chair was struck repeatedly with Bticks. Mud and unsavory missiles were thrown with excellent aim. A well dressed man, bolder or more cowardly than the rest, hit me a smart whack across my chest, which left a weal. Others from behind hit me across the shoulders. The howling was Infernal. It was an angry Chinese mob. There was nothing for It but to sit stolidly and not to appear hurt, frightened or annoyed, though I was all three.— "Yangtze Valley and Beyond," by Mrs. J. F. Bishop.

Resigned the Vice Presidency.

It would probably puzzle most peo ple to tell liow a president or vice pres ident could resign. After writing his resignation, what shall he do with it? This law, which was passed by con gress in 1792, lays down the modus op erand!: "The only evidence of a refusal to accept or of a resignation of the of fice of president or vice president shall be an instrument in writing declaring the same and subscribed by the person refusing to accept or resigning, as the case may be, and delivered into the of fice of the secretary of state." Vice President John 0. Calhonn resigned on Dec. 28, 1832, and his resignation is now on flle at Washington in the de partment of the secretary of state. ~ Boston Transcript.

THE A CBBCTTON OtACTTAN > PATTRI^T HAY 5 800

Printed and published by Hbnry Willis, Peter Street Achburton, for the prop! Cora, at their Office, Burnett Street, Alb burton, SATURDAY MAY 5, 1900.









New Zealand ißsuracee Coinpy. BBTABLIS hTd°' 1 _ 18 5 9 CAPITAL^ONEMILLION. THE PBIMIEE ANITwiALTHIEST COLONIAL COMPANY, NOTED FOE PROMPTNESS AND LIBBRALJTI PAID-UP CAPITAL AND RESERVES— FUai AND 'MARINE MISKS ALSO,— RISKS ON GROWING CROPS, JPMRERHiitfG MACHINES, Ac, ACCS-PTKP AT LOWEST TORRENT BaTKS : K W. HAJSMER



HORSE COVERS. HORSE COVERS T B G to remind my Customers and the general Public that I have a large Stuck of HORSE COVERS OF ALL QUALITIES AND PRICES, Inspection Invited Also a large Stock of SADDLERY, Etc, on hand. R. J.~GUY. SADDLER, Burnett; Street. ALL Loasby's Preparations—Cinnamon Cure, Koolibah, Wahoo, andßeDJamin Gum— at J T Coooh, Storekeeper. VTISIT NORTHCOTB AND HbFFOBD'S for your Autumn and W'uetr Millinery See windowßt *



Wm STfteKGE pole Paring sand) Thos. CoVEKDALBi, ( Proprietors J W. STRANGE & CO. TJ AYE pleasure in advising Ladies resident in t' c country ; that Iheir first shipments of Just Arrived S Auilimn Jut Arrived Just Arrived ! <8c Winter Just Arrived Jut Arrived I Good* Just Arrived! H; ye just arrived. These useful, beautiful, novel and tempting lines were chipped to us diiect From our London House, 139*141 Wool Exohwg^ EJO, and comprise Fa hioaeb'e, A. JEioSt FashipDfcHe, Useful, «f Useful, N«-wl, A ttr notions. Novel, All Prloea ! AH Pricea ! The new goods, expressly den'gnjßd for Autumn nnd Winter wear, include n«t merely a grand Assortment of plain, ;tvery-day stuff, such as are in request all the year round, tub * Tho NOVELTIES! The Latesb IS OVllil-TIJKS* I Latest London&nd NOTKLTIKB! Lmdon and Continental NOVELTIES I Continental Nave Hies! Novelties ! i.e., Novelties ia Dr«uee& and Dress Blouses, Mant'ee, Jackets, Costumes, Gloves, Corsets, Underclothing, Sunshsdcs, Maoiotcshes, ■ Promenad<£and Evening Dresse?, Opera Wrapp, end Wei! worth Heaps Of Well worth Coming to Fretiy Coming to Town M iiingrs 1 Town *<o See ! to See ! Ba\, suppose you onn^t come, that you live too far away, that you[can't spare the time for a trip to town—what then T Wo will tell you ! Good Advice? Get Get a Good A dvice ? a, Catalogue! Good Advice ? . Catalogue? Get a Gocd Advice? Catalogue I They're just out, and will giva yoa, in a very attractive form, some account of the n.w goods. Having got your Catalogue read it carefully, make your selection, write to us telling us plainly what you want, enclose remittance tojralue of goods, and Hundreds of !»lior» An Effective Ladies do ! With tIS Plan, Hondruc's of j^y Pomt ! An Effective Ladies do 2 Plan. N.B.— REMITTANCE MUsT ACCOMPANY ALL LETTER ORDERS. Wo wiil s<nd you jiut what jpu want, and select the goods for 'you as carefully es you c©ild do it for yotmelf i you were presonb at the counter. W. STRANGE * CO.. MEEOOAMTS, MANUFACTURERS, & FAMILY DRAPERS, CHRIS CBUROH.



THE NEW DRAPERY." A Beautiful EVENING DRESS WINDOW. SOMETHING NEW AND CHASTE. MITCHELL & TURNER. BELFAST AND FAIRFIELD FREEZING WORKS MANURES, ARE THE BEST JplOR UERNIP, RAPE WHBAT, AND ANY OTHER CROP. SPECIAL MANURE *esm, be macb for any kind of Soil, or description of crop. SATISFACTION GIVEN Ev¥rYWHEBB LAST SEASON. MANURE CAN BE SUPPLIED IN 1 Owt. or 2 Owt. SAOKS, Orders received hr FI^JLISrHUAISDJtIR BROS,, Limited., DAVID THOMAS, OR THE JN .9K. FABMEBB 00-O.PJESKA/J.'XVEf A SWOCIA T£OIW O^ CA.INXJB3RBCJRY, Limited., OANTEBBURT FROZEN MEAT AND DAIRY PRODUCE BXPURT OOMPANY. LIMITED. 8 80 F. WAYMOUTH Seow£»ry.



DRESS AND FASHION. Grand f how of Winter Fashions end Advanced Novelties. ANDREW ORR I S now exhibiting a Magnificent Stock cf High classs Novelties, Winter Jackets, Capes, Costumes, Millinery, Macintoshes, Dress Fabrics, Corsets, Umbrellas, Gloves, Collars and Ties, New Dresg Materials, Trimmings, Velvets Blouse Cloths, Kid Gloves. Gents' Clothing, Hats Cups, Ties, Gloves, etc. Ladies and Gents' .Jtots and Shoes in great variety. Blankets, Flannels, Carpets, Rugs, Linoleums, Floorcloths. Large purchases have been made previous to the great rise in Wool and other Materiali, Customers will get the fall benefit. DRESSMAKING.—TaiIor afade Coat and Skirt Costumes—beautiful fife. ANDREW ORR. ■ M E L LO R'S ZE ALANDIA BOOT STORE AI LAjT mEa THE LEADING BOOT SHOP, TB the Most RELIABLE House for GOOD AND CHEAP BOOTS. O aim is to give yog the BUST valtjk for little moxky. HONESTY in om Polic We wiT not Gaaraatee you an article unleeH we know it will give you] every^SatK&oMon.' Trial v all we ask—Our Goods Sell themselves. «■!..«».- j MELLOE, TANCRED BTPKF ASHBUFT3N DO NOT SHOP BY POST, "17-EEP YOUR MONEY IN ASHBURTON, whea we will look after your rrquirements—Well— SEE OUR WINDOWS. BLANKETS AND FLANNELLB LADIES' UNDEBOLOTHING LADIES' WATERPROOFS LADIES' JACKETS MILLINERY. CUE BOYS' & YOUTHS' CLOTHING la Unsurpassed, a trial will convince. TAM HATS, IN SERGE AND ASTRAOHAN MEN'S REEtfER JACKETS, CARDIGANS, AND WATERPROOFS. NORTHCOTE & HEFFORD, •THE CORNER."



SMOKE ONLY NEW VENUS A PEBFECT TOBACCO.



■Ml>B BE- IE SIMHOJSDF. MUSIC Sell." r a- .1 Teacher of the VioKj Musical ins rumen .^ofevervrtß crip. tie.. VIOLINS a .-I'KCIALITY. Musio aud Souga by < very mail. Firtl-clasi- Qiad cii'e B^nd. Burnett Street, 4 83 Opposite Pubiiahing Company. WANTED Known—That J. MoisOM 'v ',8 received a large supply of Boots and Shcee, suitable for the Holidays. They are ali of the beet brands and makers, and nave equalled in Ashburton. J.M. being the only practical and experience I Bom maker in the town, thus give* him superiority and facility to know best what to «er. Ihere* tot) the public have no need to wouder where to go foneliablc Boots and BhoM Discount for c»*h as usual. Frpaiw dona atone©. Best Leat hei ueed and work manship, at Ihe Hal), Kast Btreet, Ash. burtoc Eetabii-hid 1876' """ FOR CHBI3TM/S PRKSEKTR AND NEW ffiAR GIFTS, Also WEDDING PRESEKia GO TO | GEORGE JEMON, PRACTICAL WATCHMAKER A.X JEWELLER, East Streeb, Ashburton, THE CHEAPEST PIACE IN TOWN OR WATCHES, CLOCKS, AND JEWELLERY Of Every Description. INSPECTION IMVITED. . FOR SALE PRIVATELYT I AM now prepared to treat privately foi the unsold portion of Ma Isaac Sab. obnt'B property, comprising :— / Lot 2.-rKnox's Farm, containing 246 »or«l ' or thereabouts f.ofc3.—Greenstreet'e Farm, containing 150 acred Lot 4.—North Rivrr Farm, containing Si acres. B. W. KANMBBi S. H. GBAVESV SHAREBEOKER AND FINANCIAL AGB^T, 185 HEREFORD STREET, CHRISTCHURCH. RELIABLE Informalion on Dredgln Stocks. Carrefponder cj Invited, Copes : Bsdford McNeili's, Moreiug and Neal'a, A. B.C. Code (fourth Edition. MR ALBERT ROBERTS, Aahbarton Representative Tedeguaphio Audrsss : GRAVES,, Ohri tchurch. 3 21 "LOOK CHEAP WCNTKR FIRING. NEW -MOUNT SOMKRS COAL. OUTPUT has Trebled during the la twelve monlha IT IS USSJ EVERYWHERE, This Coal is the Best and Cheapest £K--eam md Household Coal in the market. Used in the Woollen Factory and Cant* oury Flour Mills. GIVES SPLENDID RESULTB WRITE FOR PRICES TO G. T. PARK, MOUNT SUM ftS.



TO ALL MY OLD CLIENTSf FARMERS, AND RESIDENTS OF ASHBURTON COUNTY. I BEG to inform you thab I have severed my connection with the Canterbury Mill, which was under my management for over seven years, and have PURCHASED* from Mr Edwin Thomas the WAKANUI ROLLER^FLOUR MILLS, The Canterbury Mill, which it tWT property of the Bank of New Zealand Asset* Board, is still trading under the name of Rollitt & Co., so to avoid oonfusion with correspondence, I would like to ask yon to address alt orders to THOMAS ROLLITI' WAKANUI ROLLER FLOUR MIILS, ASHBTJETON On and after October Ist, I shall be pleased to supply you with first-class ROLLER FLOUR, WHEAT MEAL, BRAN & SHARPS, at lowest current ratest FOR THE CONVENIENCE OF FARMERS DOING GRISTING, I have arranged to keep a supply of Flour Bran, and Sharps at the Stores of the N.Z. Fatmere' Association, West Street, when Farmers, Shareholders or non-Sharehold«ri can leave their Wheat and get Flour, Bran* and Sharps in exchange* fHOMAS~~ROLLITT, WAX ANOI ROLLER FLOUR MILLS 9 285 ASHBURTON. iiC>";^S Sound the PORE GEYLON OR BLENDED I sCAS.