The Ashburton Guardian.

xxi. no, 5272

Ashburton : Wednesday; Norsmber 28, 1900,

Pjrice : One Penny

A STORY OF HUSBAND AND WIFE

Mr John L. Jartett, of New York, tells a story, for the truth of which he is ready bo vouch. Says hs>:— I was walking through a corridor of the Capitol an Washington one day with » member of one of the largest wholesale hard ware firms in New York—agentlemaQ whose manner would impress the most casual observer with his high-mindednens —when we came upon a lady whom I recogni-sed as i»y companion's wife. 41 Why. Kate," said my friend, lt«rh»t are you doing here? When did you cornel* ) The lady looked in a puzzled manner at him a moment, and said, not ill'natnre dly> "I don't know you, eir." My friend lo' ked more closely at her, and said— •'Why, K%te t what do yon mean?" I paw by my friend's face lhat he had reached the earne conclusion I had —that ! bis wife had lost her reason. "Kate!" I he finally burst out, "for God's sake don't 1 you know me, your husband?" At this I the lady drew back and lo( ked frightened protesting that she never Faw him before. I tried to say something proper to the occasion, but before I could do so my | friend had drawn a photograph of his wife I from his pocket, and shown it to the lady, '^syins;, "Se«, Kate, I am your hualand. See this." "Where did you get that sit?'said the lady, I never was so befuddled in my life. I wondered if I could possibly be dreaming all ibis. The lady was now thoroughly, frightened, and trying to get away, while myfziand was even more frightened, and trying to detain her. It looked as if we were going to make a scene, so I drew my friend apart, and advised him to lei her go until she reached some more retired epob. We followed her, and soon saw her point us out to an officer of the Senate, whom I know very well. The officer approached, and indignantly asked what we imanb by our conduct. An explanation folk wed, and it turned out that the lady was the wife of a gentleman in Washing ton, . •■.,.-■ •■ . <■ ,-. of course the most abject apalogiei followed, and then came my friend's wife from ISew York to verify his story. The two families becama very intimate, bat to this day, neithhr husband is Bare, when be meets one of the ladies anywhere except at home, whether ehe is his wife or no

SLEEP CHARMS

- ♦ "Sleepless" writes to the Wtit minster Gazette :•—ln reference to your quotation about a patient o! Sir Wil liam MacOormac's who could not sleep at night unless he bad previously touched a lamppost three times, I have a friend who cannot sleep unless he hes brushed his hair vigorously from his forehead to the back of bit head. I myself am unable to get ft wink of sleep if I happen to forget to p!ace a handkerchief under my pillow, though I rarely or never use it. A literary friend of mine finds it impossible to sleep without reading the first sixteen lines of 'Paradise Lost' by candle-light when in bed. He never gets beyond the first sixteen* lines, and he says they haunt him ai that terrible 'Punch brothers, punch with care,' haunted Mark Twain. Yet it is not enough that the lines are familiar to him as the breakfast bell. He must read them every night or— no sleep As to "• charms 'for inducing sleep, i suppose every person has his own special one. One of the most curious I know is that practised by an acquaint* ance. When wakefully tossing on a 1 sleepless pillow * he imagines himself to be a millionaire, and spends the time before the arrival of sleep in bestowing imaginary legacies (before his death) upon all his needy acquaint ances ! Last week I heard of a 'bus* driver who assured a very young gentleman on the box seat that he could no more sleep without the stump of a cigar in his mouth and a glove on his driving hand than he could without also having three times shouted, «Piccadilly—Benk!'

The Limit Passed.

1 Please, mamma—please !' 1 Papa, I beg of yon do not refuse!' Cordelia Vasdetout clang wildly about her fond bat obdurate mother's neck, and rained kisses upon her cheeks, while Anastaeia, her sister, did likewise to her father. But their pleading seemtd of do avail. Gently, but wi-h decision, aa one shakes a lively crab from out a net, the parents disentangled the daughter** arms from their shoulders. Then the father said— ' No, Anastasia and Cordelia, what you ask of us is too much ! Never before have we refused a request of jours. We have moved/from citj to city, from home to house, to" the injury of my business and the destruction of yonr mother's health, in order to deceive people as to yoer ages. For the past tan years it has been nothing but move on for as, for every time the people of one place would begin to suspect your trae ages, you have insisted on us packing up and going elsewhere, that you might start anew at 22 and 23 respectively We have submitted to this nomadic life because of our love for you, but your mont recent demand is too much. We absolutely refuse!' The daughters sobbed like anything. But their firm parents remained firm. ' No,' coniinmd Mr Pasdetoat, •we will not—absolutely will not—celebrate our silver wedding again in order to prove to people that you two cannot be more than 24 at the outeiie,'



SHAW, SAVILL AND ALBION COMPANY. LIMITED, FOR LONDON. jgkJL "OOYAL MAIL STEA |ffiS|i|ww MBTRS, with superior W*sss%mS^ accommodation for all classes *^'*M of passengers, calling at Monte Video or Bio, Tenedffa and Ply month. Vessel Ten Commander From Date. Karamea 5464 Burton ... Lybb'n Bept 22 Gothic _» 7730 KMley Wel't'n Jan 31 CARGO STEAMERS. Knmara 16000 Scotland Wel>g'nOefc2s Tokomara 6238 Maxwell * Nov Maori 5517Moffatt Nov ______ Agent. JuEjmffb NKW ZEALAND jH^^",'^S|HIPPING OO.'S x —"""LINE - " fIOYAL MAIL STE4MERB FOR LONDON, t» Vide*, Henerlffe & Plymcoth. I Probable final Stunners. Tens. Port. Date, P&paroa 6563 Wellington December 6 Bake I* 5628 — December (Tekoa 4050 — Jan Wnikato 4767 — • Jan Papauui 6372 — Jan 31 Itanffahire 5537 — To follow Ofcarama. 3808 — . » "^akatane 5715 — „ fttmataka 7700 — » Waimate 5610 — „ Wakanui 5706 —-  Faagltikel 7700 1 —■ » Fop farther particulars apply t« fRIBDLANDER BROS., Las. TTNION^'STEAMSHIP "COMPANY *-> Off NEW ZEAL&ND. Limited STEAMERS SAII FROMLSTTELTON ASUNDER: Fer Wetbpert and Greymonth—Weekly Wellington— Monday, Tuesday, Thurs day and Saturdays NOTE--For extra sailings see advertise nfentt in Ohrlstchurch papers Danedin — Mondays, Fridays and alternate Tuesdays and Saturdays Nelson and Ploton, via Wellington— Tuesday and Saturday Sydney, via Auckland — Alternate Thursdays The above are subject to alteration; eference should therefore be made to Ohrlatchurch dally papers for dates and honr of sailing ZZWox farther particulars apply to F FBRRIMAN, Agent, Ash burton "henry stephensonT™ (successor tio Alfred Harrison.) Established 20 years. AUCTIONEER, LAND ESTATE AND jOMMISSION AGENT AND VALUER WEEKLY SALEB of Lsve Stook Produce, Furniture, etc., EVERY SATURDAY, at 12 o'clock. Clearing Sales of Stock, Household Furni ture, eto., as per arrangement in any part of the county. - Advonces made on all goods placed in my hands for Sale. Regular Consignments of Colonial Grown and Island Fruit sold pivateiy through the week, and at Auction on BATUBDYB. Aoeitt : Norwich Ouion Fire Insurance Company k Dresden Pianoforte Manufacturing and Agency Company. PIANOS and ORGANS on time pay ments from $3O& per month. HENBY STEPHENSON, . 4I3fOTIONEER. A CABD. A Branch Office has been opened.by the ondersigned at Messbb Niooix Bros , Eas Street, where they will carry on praotioe as Barristers and Solicitors. AUDE & HARMAN, Solicitors, Christrch ofa Money to Lend at Lowest Currenb Rates? en Freehold Security. No Procuration tee, MAUDE & HARMAtti 12 H8 Ashbnrton. G. JESSON, FEAOTIOAL WATCHMAKER & JEWELLER, TTAS REMOVED to temporary premises HEXT MESSRS J. SEALY & 00. East Street. j Manning & Co's NEW SEASON'S BOTTLED ALES AND STOUT, IN QUARTS AND PINTS, THE BESTIN~THE MARKET Equal to the Leading Brands of ENGLISH ALES. Agents for Aohbutton—Messrs] Shsar] mawßkos* " ■■ ■■



J. SEALY & CO., •fHE OLDEST ESTABLISHED SEED FIRM IN ASHBHRTON'. Jn O A ARE Btill to the front, and are prepared to supply their rmny »O« <JU V-/O« Patrons with reliable SKEDS, of every deaoription,;THA'l WILL GROW, ab lowest) market races. SEEDS FOR THE FARM, VEGETABLE SEEDS, FLOWER SEEDS, & GARDEN REQUISITES of every description, Direct from the Growers and Manufactories. Our Stocks of NEW SEASON'S REEDS are from the Celebrated Firms, James Caktkr & Co, London, and Peter Lawbon & Son, Edinburgh, and they are of. the belt quality obtainable. FRUIT. FEUIT. FRUIT. LARGE STOCKS of all Seasonable FRUITS always on hand, BELFAST AND FAIRFIELD FREEZING WORKS MANURES, ARE THE BEST T7H)R TURNIP, RAPE WHKAT, AND ANY OTHER CROP. SPECIAL MANURE can bo mad 3 for any kind of Soil, or description of crop. SATISFACTION GIVEN EVERYWHERE LAST SK&SON. MANURE CAN BE SUPPLIED IN | Owt. or 2 Cvt. SACKS Orders received b/ fBIEDLANDER JBStOH., LLmiteA., OA.VII> THOMAS, OR TMlfi W.». FABMEBis CO-UFKKATIVE Ji SBOCIATION OF CLAJNTJBraBCJRY, Xdntited., CANTERBURY FROZEN mSaT AND DAIRY PROPUOE EXPORT COMPANY. LIMITED. 880 F. WAYMOU P Secretary. ~~~"~M~E~L L O R'S ZE A LANDIA BOOT STORE BB B Bill ■ II \fii'^^'~^^ ''^^tfHiß^r^ I 141 »^' ■"■ wmm^ffk ffl B #^"Tfc. | ■ I i w^sblßjbDbßb^Hblb^bb^b^b^^Sk^b^bh ■ Ibb Km &^^^^ |fc _X ' Itfiv^HlK^H^H^ftflHßßßßßß^B^Bflß^Bßß^B^k V \ i - .. Jmmb^bHb^b^b^b^b^b^b^bl HTHI ONLY up to date Boot Shop Jn Ashburton. For real good Value, Style, and Fitting try the "ZEALANDI BOOTS Every pair guaranteed- Remember our Price is the CHEAPEST, and oar Stock the LARGEST in Canterbury. If you want good Value for very little |Money, than be sure you GOTO "il/rCT'T T ATJ'Q ZEALANDIA BOOT STORE, (EANORED BTHEFT, ASHBUBTDN LINOLEUM. LINOLEUM. JUST ARRIVED PER • S.B RANGATIRA,' AT | T. H. UNDRILL & CO.'S. LINOLEUM. LINOLEUM. NEW & CHOICE DESIGNS AND COLOURS. | ___ I - ' I LINOLEUMS AND OILCLOTHS. The Largest Stocks to Choose from, at Prices to suit all, at T. H. UN DRILL & 00/8. Also, Some Remnants at greatly reduced prices; also, a Large Assortment of Oilcloth for Dados. bedsteadsTbedsteads. We have just opened another Large Shipment of Brass and Iron Bedsteads in the latest deßigna, direct from the Best Ma&ufaoturera in Birmingham, which enables as to give you the best poßeible value. I BEDDING & FURNITURE of all kinds made on the premises from the beßb material. ! We invite all to inspect oar Stooks. No one pressed to bay. T. H. UN DRILL & CO., fiABINETMAKEB UPHOLSTERERS, PICTURE FRAMERS] i & UNDERTAKERS, | (EANORix* STRKBT.gNext BaildiDg Society's Office' i



SHEARMAN BROS,, FAMILY GROCERS, IRONMONGERS, WINE & SPIRIT MERCHANTS — (x) — ; GROCERIES. GROCERIES NONE but the beat brand of Groceries kept in Stock—Tinned Fish and Meats of every description, Currants, Raisins, Sultanps (all of First Quality); Agents for Gore Oatmeal; Butter and Cheese, the finest procurable from the beat makers. Millaqain No. 1 Sngar always in stock. TEAS. TEAS.' TEAS. We make a specialty of Teas, and have a large stock,. ranging'fratta Station Teas to the Finest Oran»e Pekoe GayJon. Packed in |lb and lib Packets, 51b and 101b Tins, and Half Chests, Sappl'esm&y be had on application f . . ...... GENERAL MERCHANDISE. B £ A and TUS Sheep Shears, Oil Stones, Ropes, Nails and Staples, Raw and Boiled Linseed, Castor, Neats Foot, anif Valvoline Oils ; Table Cutlery by the best Makers, Electro Plated Goods a socially, suitable for Wedding Presents; Splendid Assortment of Brushware of every kind, Lamps and Lamp ware, Ironmongery, and General Household Requisites, Customers may always rely on being supplied from a large and well assorted Stock of the above Goods at the most reasonable prices. Letters and Telegrams promptly attended to. SHEARMAN BROS., MARKET HOUSF, BURNETT STREET, ASBBURTON NEW PREMISES! NEW PREMISES! SEASON 1900-1301. Sheep Shears, Sheep Shears. Sheep Shears. ALL the Favorite fßrando, and'the Finest ' % Stock in Canterbury to select rom. TURKEY ;&JWASHITA STONES specially pitched and guaranteed to give satisfaction Call and ace for yourselves at our spaciou^ and up to|date Premises in East Streetf*' W. H. COLLINS & CO.. IBONMONOERS, PAINTERS, UMBER AND OOAL MERCHANTS. > ASK YOUR SHOE DEALER FOR E^BtRY f~/? # m ENCOURAGE PAIR / COLONIAL Muntt BOOTS & SHOES, DSTBY MANU/AOTURED BY S. ANDERSON, TIMARU. H. M. JONES. H. M. JONES. STATIONERY BOOKS. ACCOUNT BOOKS. O£LA C\f\(\ ENVELOPES, imported direct. Commercial Envelopes dJoKj* \J\jyJ from 3 8 6d per 1000; 5000 at 3s per 1000. Boxed^Stajionery, latest styles, from 6d, 9d, Is, Is 6d, 2a box, PIANOS. ORGANS. 44 payments of £1 each will purchase a splendid overstrnng, full trichord, massive iron-frame Piano, up-to-date in every particular. Only £1 required to be paid at time of purchase, Call and see this i before you buy elsewhere, Organs from 10s per month; Fianoa"from^2os per month. CRICKETING AND LAWN TENNIS MATERIAL Jnst arrived, ex Gothic, from Wisden and Son's, London. RACQUETS, London Inlaid, Victoria, Invicta, Champion, Match Popular BALLS, Plain and Covered, Slazenger'e, Silvertown, Wisden'e. CRICKET BATS, Warsopp's, Wisden'sall cain, Duke's, Union, Hearneß and others. BALLS,"Hearne's, Duke's, Wieden's, Craven, Matcb.'and Practice Ballßi H. M. JO N E S.



FOR, SALE, BAVELOOK STREET WEST. TOWN SECTION 1171. A splendid opportunity of securing a building lite la the favourite portion of the Town. F. FERRIMAN^ 'OTANTED-^Tweoty Young menTt WT wear Black and Brown Boots »12a 9d,»t B. Stook'B 9 199



TO LET, At »low rental, Shop and Premises at the corner of the Triangle, fronting Oass Street and Wakanui Road, leading to the Post Office, ab present temporarily occupied by Mr Bryant, baker Potießsion dan be given in about a week 3? BULLOOK . A WORD to the wise—Try the rapidly lightning Shirt Globb, it never fails— SHE&BMiN Bboh and Johh Obb & Co ar« the ! Agents



! • v ■■(•,.■■ ■ f ___. v ! j , . . ,'' — '""■" ™*""~"" ■ ' Mi "■ "■ ' "~~""—»""—™^^^-JI ■ ( j -- 'V.- , - .■-.■ J ;.tn«.-CL- mm i.n.- )n.. Hi—»——,,^ MMMMM| ,,, M^_—^^ I i n ,i ij ' ■ • ■ . ■ ■ ■. —n —j| II ii — i . ii Smoke Pmnlnp'7 —ffl „ ' I DERBY I— TOBACCO. —-li—JL, II ,JJ , A!i Tobacconists. II II II II JL— m —'—-•—-<■■»'■ ••"•■■ ''"-■•■ • ■ ■- - ' ■*t ■•■ ■' '■



LLEWELLYN OWEN, MO.S.M. CERTIFICATED TEACHER. LOCAL Representative of the London ■ College of Music, and cf the Mtmca Intern&tioral College. PIANOFORTE, ORGAN, VIOLJN, MAN DOLINE, SINGING, HARMONY AND COUNTERPOINT. MJHS JOHNBTON mEAOHER of the Pianoforte and Singing. Hftvelook Street. Old Harness Machine Belting, Etc. SET with a Hammer. From all Iron mongers and Storekeepers. BIFURCATED RIVET CO, Ltd., London, England. Full particulars from Harrison & Webb Auckland. (Cut this out and show your ronmonger.) 356 . FOR SALE, Ashburton Suburbs—B acres 32 perches of land, possessing ample frontage on good roads, with substantial buildings, consisting of a good 6 roomed House, Shop, Workshop, excellent Stables, and Cow Sheds 5 first class orchard well supplied with water. The land is well situated for subdivision F FERRIMAN Monumental Sculptor, 60 Stafford S K, Timar tA LWAYS in Stock—A first XjL class selection of Marble and Granite Monuments, Design a and Estimates for warded on application. Letter Cutting in any style. J. V. DE BEEE WATCHMAKER & JEWELLER [ TTAS just received a Large Shipmen OF WATCHES. WATCHES 6 Dozen Nickel Levees at 27s 6d Specially made to order, Strongly bailt to suit hard weac. 2 Years Guarantee, 8 Dozen NICKEL WATCHES at 20s* The beat value in the Colony. 1 years Guarantee. A New and Fall Stock of Gent's and Ladies Gold and Silver Watches to hand. SPECTACLES New Frames and Lenses on tbfl Interchangeable System. To meet the requirements of those osinjs the famous "LAZARUS' Spectacles a special importation of bis Frames and Lenses to hand. BIGHTTBBTIMG A PERFECT FIT GUARANTEED, J. V.DE~BEEK WATCHMAKER & JEWELLER, Aahbnrton I H L'NDBILL.. B ONDBILIi T H UJSDBILI & CO FURNISHING UNDERTAKERS IDANORED STREET, ASHBURTON I EVERY REQUISITE ON HAND. PoLshed Coffins a Specialty. A Choice Assortment of Artificial Wreaths In Stock. • Private Address, Peter Street, directly behind Oddfellows' Hall; afeo care 0 Mr T. Andrews, East Selt. 3 BAKER BROS., CIURNISHING TTNDERTAKIRS E URNISHI3SG NDERTAKERS, DIRECT Importers of Best and Latest Designs In FUNERAL FURNISHING?. FUNERALS conduced with the greatest care and satisfaction, -it most reasonable charges. Corner of Wakftnul Road and Caes Streets, and Baker and brown's Coach Factory. ' J"^"UST OPENED—Fishing Taokle, Per s^ KftJramea from London. The lates Rods, Minnows, Lines, Gaff Hooks etc. etc early inspection invited.— 'Hardley Bros, T" '"' timoke Hew Venus



"Man's N&THRn Before and since wHr<ltmnJ^^R the days of Samson '(iIHHHIB this is what has jm fi MMHp Mp been said of every B^B W M ~^L luxuriant growth m d %P of hair. . ■ . JV^^^WM)9Ai preserves and "MW^mmMM- %j beautifies tho If \#^l>P F it length, ti Mmk m W0& strength, and Mj% IWi luster- I IWI ■ It ! the natural ; IfIDIIP color to the i ■■ I jC'hl hair in every f..y. m'^^. , m .... j instance. : It cleanses, the scalp from dandruff and thus removes one great cause of baldness.; It makes a better circulation in the scalp and thus checks the hair from I falling out. If your blood is poor and thin and filled with impurities, the Hair Vigor cannot do its best. You should take a thorough course of treatment with Ayer's Sarsaparilla at the same time you are using the Hair Vigor. This will cleanse your blood, invigorate your neryes,'tod* improve your health in every way. Prepared by Dr. J. C. kjtt & Co., Lowell, Mm., U.S.A.. NEW ZEALAND INSURANCE COMPANY. ESTABLISHED 1859, oapital~o"ne million mHE Premier and Wealthiest Colonial X Company, Noted for Promptness and Liberality Paid-up Capital and Reserves, £400,000. Fire and Marine Risks, Also, — Risks on Growing Crops,. Threshing Machine?, etc, accepted at lowest current rates, E. W. Haniner, I AGENT ■ Dwelling of five rooms with verandah and scullery, centrally situated on the south side of Moore Street. Possession can be given | after Thursday next, 29;h inst T BULLOCK SUBURBAN RESIDENCE. Nicely Situated at the Corner of Eton Street and Wakanui Road 3 ROODS 1 PERCH Q ROODS 1 PERCH O BEING Lots 42 and 43 on the original Bale Plan, on which is erected a Dwell* ing of 6 Rooms and Pantry, detached Wash house, Coal shed and other conveniences, surrounded by garden and Orchard at the back well stocked with fruit trees, the Pro* perty of Mb Wabd. As he has removed into town, he ia desirous of effecting- a quick Sale on very easy termj of payment Particulars on application 03 BULLOOK. TO LETT" ~ Centrally Situated, m WO Upstairs Rooms, fn the new Victori J. Buildings, adjoining the Aroade Rental, 10s 6d per week T. BULLOQg. SEAFIELD ROAD I HAVE received instructions to sell a very desirable little Farm situated as above containing 15 Acres, upon which is erected a four roomed Cottage, Stable and Pig sty. 10 acres are in grass 4 acres are in root crop, and J acre in Potatoes and peas. The property ia well watered by county raoeß, and only needs an inspection to prove it is a good investment either for a home or for letting purposes F FERRIMAN iHUi N.Z. FAKMISKS 1 UU-OPiiFATIVE ASSOCIATION OF CANTERBURY Ltd. WE have several really first-class Farm for Sale on our books, and farmer wishing to purchase would do well to call on us for particulars :— 520 Acres Rakaia Districb 365 „ „ „ 500  Dromore „ 1000 „ Lauriston „ 1180 „ Springburn „ . 750 „ Wftkanui „ 1031 „ Chertsey „ 1953 „ Dromore „ T. F. GIBSON, Manager WA^TifiD KWUWN—Thi;F~wT"aFe clearing oat all odd lengths of Oilcloths and Linoleums, to iriake room for new (roods, now landing ex S.S Gothic—MkfchbiiK & Tcrnbr ____________ TO LET. SQUARE Dwelling House of four rooms, with email stable, fronting Archibald ' Street, near the Railway Station. T BULLOCK 1 Agent Til AXE your Repairs to the Jubilee Boa JL Shop. 9JC i SMOKE NO&mGJkiT TOBACCO. The Latest and Best Manufactured by O WIi_I4SIS & CO  Smoke New Venus