The Ashburton Guardian.

Ashburton : Monday, October S, 1899,

pkice : One Penny

STol xxi, no. 4930

WIT AND WISDOM.

[By " Thb Book'Wobm ")

At one time m their history these twin children of knowledge were hardly distin guishable, the one from the other, and people who bore the characteristics of either were dubbed witty or wise indiscriminately. Thus Shakspeare speaks of A prince most prudent, of an excellent And unmatched wit and judgmtnt, A viittt to our Anglo-Saxon forefathers was a man of wisdom, but not necessarily by any means an amusing or laughter-raising individual; and their wittnagemott or par liament was, or was supposed to be, an assembly of wist men, and not (as would teem the case m regard to certain modern parliaments) mainly composed of would-be funny men. With the advance of years, however, wit and wisdom have developed special traits of their own, and while main taining a close alliance each performs its own particular function m the regulation of human affairs. Wit may be said to be the interpreter of wisdom. It conveys, on swift wings, the productions of Wisdom's toil; it flashes with lightning rapidity the results of Wisdom's study and thought, and with quick intellect cleverly presses into service the elements of novelty and surprise to impress the messages upon those to whom they are to be delivered. Wit is occasionally mistaken for his distant relative, Humor, who belongs to a much inferior order, and who works on a far lower grade. The aim of Humor is simply to raise mirth; that of Wit is to impress knowledge by raising mirth. They are opposite, too, m character; the one depends upon the incongruous and the way the in congruity is represented, while wit has been denned as " the pertinent relationship be tween two dissimilar things." Of Humor a good sample is found m these lines—

And now had Phoebus on the lap Of Thetis taken out his nap, And, like a lobster boiled the morn, From black to red begun to turn. which is funny from the utter incongruity of the two references, but cannot be termed wit m its true sense. Goldsmith recognises the distinction m the lines— • • ♦ For thy sake I admit That a Scot may have humor, I'd almost said wit. An excellent example of true wit is quoted m a foot-note m that magnificent work of reference, Webster's International Dic tionary. Under the word Wit, on page 1659, the Dictionary quotes the following admir able illustration:—

"What I want," said a pomppus orator, aiming at his antagonist, "is common sense," " Exactly " was the whispered reply

Here there are all the requisites, the rapidity of conception," the power," as Websterputs it " of seizing on some thought or occurrence, and by a sudden turn, presenting it under aspects wholly new and unexpected, ap parently natural and admissible, if not per fectly just, and bearing on the subject, or the parties concerned with a laughable keenness and force." Could there be a more exact, comprehensive, or complete definition ?

Turning to the same dictionary—and the word dictionary is far too modest a name to give the public an accurate idea of its immense range, and of the mass of inform ation it contains on every conceivable topic— turning to the words " wit " and " wisdom " one finds that to begin to jot down a few thoughts on the subject is only to make a feeble attempt at treating what has been already completely and perfectly dealt with from every standpoint by masterly hands. Webster (m the authentic International edi tion) goes far outside the bounds of any other j dictionary. It traces the words " wit " and j "wisdom" to their remote** origin, and gives a highly interesting and instructive history of any changes m their construction | or meaning, with such apt quotations m illustration as are an educational library m themselves. In addition to the meanings which the compilers give to the words, they attach the best definitions and observ ations of well-known writers. For instance, after giving one very excellent definition of " wisdom " as " knowledge and the capacity to make use of it," they add the following admirable distinction between " knowledge" and "wisdom" from the pen of the poet Cowper :— Knowledge and wisdom far from being one, Have ofttlmes no connection. Knowledge dwells In beads replete with thoughts of other men; Wisdom m minds attentive to their own. Knowledge, a rude unprofitable mass, The mere materials with which wisdom builds, Till smoothed and squared, and fitted to its place Pocs but encumber whom it seems to enrich, Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much "Wisdom Is humble that he knows no more!

Quotations are also given from old scriptural writers, and from Wyclif, Coleridge, Whe well, Burke, Paley, and others, all of which help the reader to get a wide and compre hensive grasp of his subject. "Wit" and "wisdom" have been some times called " a distinction without a differ ence." But Webster's International Dic tionary makes the difference complete and shows the distinctions to be clear. It does this by calling into court an array of witnesses summoned from the whole range of English literature. It sets out all their various evidence to be sifted by a trained jury of hundreds of the most reliable experts, and it finally pronounces through its j supreme court of assembled and learned editors a clear, authoritative and judicial verdict against which no scholar will desire or venture to appeal.

It performs a similar careful office for every other word m the language, and the reader, writer, speaker, or public or private man who has Webster's International Dictionary on his shelves will hardly ever need any other book of reference. In ordinary life, m science, m art, m business and m commerce, m everything that anybody really wants to know it is to all intents and purposes an in exhaustible mine of information and a com plet« library m itself.



HARDLEY BROS. TTAVE Just opened fop n«wly impotted Stock of Fishing Tackle. FLIES, MINSOWS, TRACES, LINKS, GAFF HOOKS, RODS, IN SKEAT VARIETY. A LARGE ASSORTMENT OF Tools AT PRICES THAT PEFX UOMFSTITttf Plumbebs, Tinsmwus, & Gasfittkrs. Hob and cold water kid on at th« shortest notice. A LARGE STOCK OF TANKS, BATHS, SINKS, PUMPS, Itc, TO SELECT FROM. ESTIMATES GIVEN WITH PLEASURE HARDLEY BBOS. WANTED Known—That we are iho# ing a grand line of Fancy Flanellettei for Children's Frooka, Blouses, and Dressing Gowns at 31 per yard under usual priOMi** MItCHK* * TVWWW



'ISLINGTON MANURES Especially prepared for Wheat, Turnip*, Rape, and any other crop, and to suit any description of toil. GREATLY INCREASED PRODUCTION WHEREVER USED. SATISFACTION GIVEN EVERYWHERE NicolEi Bros, store five varieties of this celebrated fertiliser. Price on application; Allowance made for quantities. Letters will receive prompt attention. NICOLL BROS., DISTRICT AGENTS



FREEZERS. FREEZERS. TTjIARMERS wiiihiug to consign Sheep on their own account can -book ipaoe at any time to suit their own convenience, by con* municating with us. NICOLL BROS., DISTRICT AGENTS, CHRISTCHURCH MEAT COMPANY. LtMITETI. 8 _ ITTE ARE CASH BUYERS OF _ FAT SHEEP AND LAMBS AT HIGHEST MARKEf RATES. nicollTbros., East Street, Abhbarton. fTIHE OHRISICHDROH MEAT CO X LIMITKDi



MRS R. Jt HUGHES, Oertifloated Ladies' Nurse, takes m aoooache« menb cases ab her residence, Triangle, Ashburton. Every oare and attention given. $ J. L. HIGG&T ART DECORATOR & SIGNWRITER, TT7ISHES to intimate to the Ladies o Aihburfcon that he has made a Special Study of COLOUR during the last Seventies Years, and is therefore prepared to give the GREATEST SATISFACTION is HOUSE DECORATING. Terms Moderate. Workmanship Bmoh to Monk. Apply early to avoid the rush] for SPRING OLEAFING J, L. ifIGGS, TANCRED STREET. Nlcoll Bros. ISLINGTON FERTILISERS FOE GARDEN USE MAY be obtained m Cwt.[end half. Ctrl Bags from NIOCLL BROS, District Agents NEW SEASON'S SEEDS. RAPE, Clovers, Rytgrase, Cocksfoot, ; Cowgrass, etc., at Invest market prices. NIOOLL BROS,, Fast Sirret



ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS And don't forget to let your Friends and Children know it: THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED WATCHMAKING & JEWELLERY Business m Ashburton is George Jesson's, (Late 3 S Quinn) EAST STREET. TF YOUR Watch or Clock is oub of order, Uke ie to the OLD SHOP, and don't forget that all the Latest and Best Goods m WATCHES, CLOCKS, & JEWELLERY are there to ohoose from* at prices to suit all. REPAIRS of all kinda promptly executed on th? premises, at strictly moderate charges BARRETT BROS, have just opened up their first shipment of New Spring Goods, and respectfully invite inspection We have confidence m showing these Goods, at they are m a nice variety, and honest value.—Barrett Bros., Drapers, Clothiers, etc., East S«r««



HAVING sold oat of my o-<l pti ck of thsee f>aperior Bicycles, I have jusc opened up a fresh cousignmeut of the LATEST PAT-TERN "RAMBLER" SPECIAL LIGHT RvCERS, ROAD RA.O&R3, & ROADSTERS n all iaatf and allotted with the eve" acting G & J detichable Tyre. •• THE BAAIBJUE»: OALL'ASiD INSPEOI THE STOCK. Price Easy, Riding Easy. Machines the Strongest on Earth. ACCESSORIES IN STOCK. OTHER MARES FITTED WITH j Q & J TYRES* \ D. THOMAS. UNION STEAMSHIP COMPANY OF NEW ZEALAND. Limited STEAMERS 1? All FRCMLITTELTON AS UNDER: For Wesfcport and Greymouth—Weekly. Wellington— Monday, Tuesday, Thurs dny and Saturdays NOTE—For extra sailings see advertise ment m Christohurch papers Dunedin — Mondays, Fridays and alternate Tuesdays and Saturdays Nelson and Picton, via Wellington— Tuesday and Saturday Sydney, via Auckland — Alternate Thursdays The above are subject) to alteration; eference Bhould therefore bo made to OhrlHtchnrch daily papers fos dates and hour of sailing For further particulars apply to F, FERBIMAN, Agent, Ashbnrton



A GIFT. THE SHELDON BOOM. " In His Steps, or Whab Would Jesus Do." *• The Crucifixion e>f Philip Strong*" •* His Brother's Keepw," ••Malcolm Kirk." " Richard Hardy'a Seven Days." ••THE VITADAMO' series of these magnificent and entrancing works is about ready for distribution, and will be ecnb to any addrees m the colonies on recoipb of postage to cover—One book, 2d stamp*, the five books, 6d stumps* All letters must be marked "Sheldon," care of "Vitadatio," Melbourne. LADIES, THE FOLLOWING SHOULD INTEREST YOU. Never felt better m her life. Had no idea Vitadatio could do for her what it has done. 10th April, 1899 '•For a number of years I was troubled with indigestion, and what those of our sex know as general weaknei sin various forms and ways, accompanied by the usual gloomy forebodings and, of conrse, at I find now, unnecessary cares of mind, producing a'l kinds of discouraging anticipations, m which the common impression would cormtaotly intrude itself that life was not the flowery bed of ease thab one used to read and sing about m one's childhood's hourK My food did not nourish the body, and I carried about with me, much to my discomfort, an emaciated form, and the common remark of my friend wait, ' How ill you always look.' Although I would not admit the truth of their opinion, yet my own conscious feeling assured me of the truth of their observation. There were msny other ailments which kept m check my former vitality and buoyancy of spirit*, whioh need only be hinced at m a note such eg this. In this state of general debiliby I was advised to take a course of Webber's Vitadatio. I took it regularly for about six weeks, and took, m all, the contents of six large bottles. These were from the first a great source of help and relief, and I began to put on flesh ab the rate of 1£ b per week, and I now enj' y the very best of health. To any of my own sex, especially those who are troubled with en nui, from whatever causa arising, I verily believe a course of Vitadatio will give them back the blessing of good health, such as I enjoy, and for whi.ih I desire to be truly thankful. Vitadatio shall always have my strong recommendation.—Yours gratefully, M. Sergeanx, Redfern, Sydney, New South Wales Ptice 5i 6d and 3a 61 per bottle E W HALL, Herbalist., Agent for AshbnrLon ar.d District THE I>alnYiKST UTTLK "vVHkEL TEAT EVER WAS"! '• The Rambler."



Smoke VmAotfs^r y^^ X y^^^ IT IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST. 3 SjT - ... ,_..>^>^_-.



MISS CARSON. mEACHER of Pianoforte and Organ, JL For terms, etc., apply at Residenoe Corner of Wills and William Streets'" near Wakanui Road EMt, l9*l



•• Stop Smoking," said a Boston doctor to an ailing patient the other day, *• and it will lengthen your days." The patient Btopped. The doctor's prediction was verified. The first day, the patient declares, was as long as his whole previous life. Prosperity is th« best protector of principle. Few of us can stand prosperity. Another fellow's, I mean. Nothing succeeds like success. That is why Kingßton'B Rhoeing is bo successful. Kingston does not say so, ask anyone. He is well known, having been here nearly eighteeD VOAFfli For Indigestien, the best remedy is undoubtedly Norton's Camomile Pills They can confidently be recommended as being mild m operation and absolutely free from injurious drugs Acting at once as a splendid tonic and a gentle aperient For nearly 100 years tney have proved unequalled for Indigestion, Dyspepsia, sick Headache and all Liver and Stomach complaints Sold m bottles, Is IJd, 2s 9d, and Us, by aIJ Medicine vendors throughout the world



E aht - STREET H. M. JONES. l—\ I*l Cricketing & Lawn Tennis Material. IMPORTED direab from the bub London makers. Bats, youths and men's, "specially selected." The excellent Union Driver Champion, and others. Bulls, Stumps, Gloves, *RA#QUETB.—The London, The Popular, The Champion, Victoria Sampson, and ° TENNIS BALLS.—Slaymjers, Wisdens, and The Silverton. -—-SEWING MACHINES. ■ ' AGENTS FOR MILNISR AND THOMPSONS — FIATSO — By Brinsmead and Sons, Hopkinson, G<"» «** -r-yr A TVT/"\C3 KallmaD, Wagner, Collard and Oollard, Broad irXAJNUO wood, Haake, Spaeth.e, Ohannell and Son, Lipp -PIANOS- and Sohn. -ORGANS- By Bell and Co, Smith, and the Needham Company, 4*"*% "D f~^ A TVT C? Willcox and White, Mason and Hamlin, the Chicago Gom " 3 jtVvT-O-lN J^""~" P»ny» Palace Organ Company, and other makers. I — OJtfcG-AINS— From dSB lOs to «50. ORGANS From ... — ... .- .- .- 108 per month J?IANO» „ « .- ... — SOi „ „! LALL INSTRUMENTS GUARANTEED. — Best Cash Valxjjb Obtainablb. Latest Bookß by every Mail, at Published Prices for Cash. Magazines and Periodicals. »t LOWEST CASH PRICES m all Departments. Equal to Cimstohuroh and Done* din Houses. Do your Business here and keep the Trade m the District i INSPECTION INVITED. H. M.~TONES.



BELFAST FREEZING WORKS MANURES, ARE THE BEST TjiOß TURNIP, RAPE WHEAT, AND ANY; OTHER CROP. SPECIAL MANURE; can be made for any kind of Soil, or description of crop. SATISFACTION GIVEN EVERYWHERE LAST SEASON. Orders received by FBIEDLANDEB BROS., limited., I>AVII> THOMAB> THE! N.Zu FARMERS CO-OPERATIVE A SBOCIATIOW: OFICANTERBUBY, limited., ob AL.BEKT BOBEBXH, A»JfilMl\ A»M>urton. CANTERBURY FROZEN MEAT AND DAIRY PRODUCE EXPORT COMPANY, LIMITED. 8 eg F. WAYMOUTH Secretary.



AT THE LAST MOMENT ITTE have received instructions from head quarterajjto Sell the WHOLE OF OUR STOCK la ASHBURTON'j an soon as possible, consequently, the GOODS MUST GO. NOW IS YOUR TIME - THE CHANCE MAX NETEF OCCUR .AGAIN aTO SECURE SUCH CHEAP DRAPERY. ALL COME to the GREAT BALE on SMITH'S ASSIGNED STOCK, F- S- MALCOLM, Vendor.



«T NMW SPRING GOODS «^| ANDREW ORE TS Daily opening up New Shipments of Spring 1 Goods for the Season. PRINTS, MUSLINS, GLOVES» SUNSHADES, UMBRELLAS, BLOUSE MATERIALS, KID OLOVES. jDRESS GOODS IN ALL THE LEADING STYLES. Beautiful Trimmed College and Rock STRAW HATS; also Gentlemen^ Straws' m all the leading makes. MILLINERY, FLOWERS, FEATHERS, TRIMMINGS, Etc., Very New and Up-to-date. DRESSMAKING TURNED OUT STYLISH AND ATTRACTIVE. Excellent Err Guaranteed. £17 10S — LADIES, [& GENTLEMEN'S BIOYOLHS — £17 108 THE HIGHEST GRADE. ALSO NEW OHAIfiLESS CYCLE/ NET— £30. LATENT' AND MOST UP-TO-DATE* ANDREW OR R,



WOOL. WOOL. WOOL. X AM now makiDg iLIBERAL ;CASH ADVANCE3,"|FREE OF .COMMISSION, upon all "W OOJLj placed m my hands for Sale either m Ashburton, Titnaru, or for Shipment. ——— This Season's WOOL SALES for CANTERBURY have been fixed as under, viz:- CHRIBTCHURCH—November 23, 1899; December 14 S 1899; January 18, 1900 February 9, 1900. TIM ARU—December 1, 1899; January 5, 1900; February 7, 1900. WOOLPACKS and all Station Requisites supplied at) Lowest Market Rates. D- THOMAS, Ashburton. -PUREJSEED S- I HAVE lately erected, regardleeß of Caab, the MOST COMPLETE Seed Cleaning? Plant South of the Line, and I now ask intelligent) Farmers to inspect the same at) Work, I am now prepared to CLEAN lor Farmers any of SEEDS & GKRAIN And will GUARANTEE to give them SATISFACTION. I can Supply Best RYEGRASS and COCKSFOOT, locally grown; also, Best CLOVERS, Dressed by my own machines, the purity of which mast [be seen to be appreciated. AIao—HtJBST and Son's Best ENGLIBH CLOVERS, L TURNIPS, RAPE, ILUCERNE, TREFOIL, Eio. DAVID THOMAS, ASHBURTON.



TO MY CLIENTS. T AMP RgE PARED TO DISPOSE OF ANY SHEEP AND LAMB SKINS SENT TO FAIRFIFXD FKEEZING WORKS, TO BEST POSSIBLE ADVANTAGE. 1c would bo well to give me particulars prior to sheap being forwarded. DAVID THOMAS, ASHBURTON'



J. SEALY AND CO. NEW SEEDS! NEW SEEDS! NEW SEEDS! FOR THE FARM-—lncluding Clovers, Ryegrass, Cocksfoot, Turnips, Bape and Peas. »EW SEEDS FOB THE VEGETABLE GARDEN la any Quantity Required, or m3d acketa NEW FLOWER SEEDS IN Id PACKETS OR 0i PERfDOZSN PACKETS ASSORTED. NEW GARDEN REQUISITES IN ENDLESS VARIETY". WHEKLBAND'S BLIGHT SPECIFIC.-Oae dressing according to dir otio i wilt thoroughly eradicate Scale Biight from fruit trees. THEE LtJCERNE- E"sr d J. SEALY AND CO. 8 52



INVESTMENT SOCIETY. TME" SOCIETY ia flow taking MONEY ON DEPOSIT Fixed, Twelve Months 4|*per cent. FaU*p»rtiotilarß on application. EDWARD STEPHENS, Manager. 'Office: Tanered Street Bicycle Harvest. LANDELLS & SON, ENGINEERS.* BICYCLE MAKERS BCJREKTT STREET, Next the Club. TO the Farmers and General Public !;^ AahburtoD, —We beg to state thab we have reaped a. harvest m Bicycles, ham just landed a big consignment of first-class jiggers at £14 10ai We are the oldest bicycle firm m Ashburton and intend to uphold our reputation. ""' Agents fot White Flyers, Budge-Whit-, nrth, Waverleys, Cyclops, The Parrot, eto Repairs by experts. All workj guarau • 8 '



Shlppi tig, SO AW. SAYILL AND ALBION COMPANY, LIMITS 9. FOR LONDON. J£kJL T?OYAL MAIL BTEA f^^mjv -Elf MERS, wlfch sapeirior Vj^liiiJiiiia accommodation for all classes vx.Mmmmmm o | p a g Sen g ßrßj calling ab Monte Video or Rio, Tenerlffe aad Ply. month. Vessel Ton [CSomrnftnderj From Dato. «othio «. 7750 Kldloy ... Wet't'n July 20 lonio — 4748|Ketnpson J Wel'b'n Oob. 12 CARGO STEAMERS. *Delphie.,.jß273Snowdeß LytM'ton June 29 *Aote» ...p364 Evans — Auguat Pakeha ._ 14331 Prosaer — August Maori .|5317 Mofifatt j — Sept j *Oarriea Third-o!aas Passengera. E. W, HANMER. Agent. jS/tjmjt NEW ZEALAND OO.'S



HENRY STEPHENSON ; {oucceseor to Alfred Harrison,) EsUblished 20 years. AUCTIONEER, LAND ESTATE AND COMMISSION AGENT AND VALUER WEEKLY SALES of Live Stock Produce, Furniture, etc, EVERY SATURDAY, at 12 o'clock. Clearing Sales of Stock, Household Furnl ore, etc., as per arrangement, m any part the county. Advances made on Goods placed In my bands for Sale* Regular Consignments of Colonial Grown and Island Fruit sold privately through the week, and ate Auotion on SATURDAYS. Agkst; Norwich Onion Fire Insurance Company ' & Dresden Pianoforte Manufacturing and Agency Company. PJANOB and ORGANS on time pay menta from £5O» per month. HENRY STEPHENSON, AUCTIONEER ASHBUETON PERMANENT BUILDING AND



MESSRS SHEARMAN 8K03., Aahburton, and GUDSELL., Tinwald. Mr Charles Fardy, Rakaia Messrs Hibbs Bros., Methven Mrs Mary Johnson, Chertsey Packed aud sealed m Ceylon. Prices : X, la IGd ; XX. 2a ; XXX, 2* 2d ; XXXX, 2% 6cl.



rf JRAWATTE£GAJiiij|. » | DIAMONDJUQILEEII c I. iIE©P § ** S r Jis^ . » h m § •, W^^« I ii^S ■! "M'KENZIE'S" HONDAI LANKA TEA. Agenta :



LINS ROYAL MAIL STEAMERS, FOR LONDON, Via Monte Video, Teneriffa & Plymouth. Beit Aaoommodatloa for all olassos of Passengers at Lowest Rates. Port of Sfceamera. Tons. Departure, Date. Rakaia 6663 — August 3 Pap-umi 7000 — August 31 Ruahlna 8127 — 28 W*kanui "000 — Oot. 25 Paparoa 7000 — 23 CARGO STEAMERS. Nairnsh re j 8000 Lyttelton June 27 Tekoa .- j 4050 WelliDgton July Waikato .„ | 4767 Lyttelton July For farther particulars apply to FRIEDLANDER BROS., Lrn. Agents, Anhbortion. ""which will" you" tak eC \ RTIFICIALLY Coloured nnd adul- J\. terated Teas from China and Japan— OR BRITISH GROWN .... DIAMOND JUBILEE.