Ashburton Guardian. Magna est Veritas et Prævalebit. FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 1897. STONEWALLING.

The practice of stonewalling ie talking against time, and seeking to gain by phys'cal endurance what cannot be won in a more legitimate way, is one whic'; in our opinion is moie honored in the breach than in the observance. Hitherto it has been principally confined to Parliament, though now and then examples have occurred at City Councils—notably those of Dunedin an d Wellington, Messrs Fish and Fisher respectively having been prominent on the occasions referred to. We do not know, how ever, that hitherto such an occurrence has been recorded in connection with an Education Board, until Wed nesday last when the members o! the Otago Board were treated to an experience, of this sort of thing. Those who took part in the stonewall were Messrs J. J. Ramsay, and John MacGregor, M.H.R, and it arose, according to the Daily Times, under the following circumatanees, The gentlemen named found themselves in a minority in the afternoon on the ques tion of the selection of candidates to be " sent down " to a school committee, and Mr Ramsay—doubtless having in view the time when he will, as he predicts, sit in Parliament, and enjoy larger opportunities for the exercise of his skill in masonry—instituted a stone wall which he resumed in the evening. Before he concluded, reinforcements appeared in the person of Mr P. B. Fraser, newly elected a member of the Board. Mr MacGregor took up the running when Mr Ramsay had done, and, as became a parliamentarian, showed market} ability for one who is at best an amateur. He quoted voluminously from regulations and testimonials, and after speaking for thfee hours and 35 minutes was still going strongly when, the witching hour of night having arrived, a compromise between the two sides was arrived at lv the course of Mr JMacGregor's lengthy speech —almost a record speech at the Education Board —Mr Meßerrow retired from the field, and his departure lef b an equally divided board. It became a test of endurance as between Messrs MacGregor, Rauusay, and P. B. Eraser on the one hand, and Messra Cohen, Olark, and Borrie on the other hand, the three last mentioned gentlemen being the members of the Selection Committee whose choice of candidates for trans mission to the Green Island School Committee was being impeached. While Mr Ramsay went forth in quest of sweats and fruit for the sustenance of his side, Mr Borrie refreshed him self with dipping into a recent edition —said to be pirated—of a standard dictionary, and Mr Olark resorted occasionally to the sternutative practice to which he is partial and which is regarded as an excellent clarifier of the intellect. As 11 o'clock was chiming, , middle of his argument, was permitted to remove his coat, as he found the atmosphere oppressively warm. By this timomemborsbethoughtthemselves chat it was necessary to ppp-ibe their households that they wou'.i not be home uatil late, and one country member, fearful lest the hours he was keeping might result in his being locked ou', took the precaution of proceeding to his lodgings and providing himself with the key of. the street door. And this in our assemblage of " grave and reverend seigniors !"

An interesting article appears in the London Standard of Nov. 28 on the

subject of " Homing Pigeons for the Navy " from which, in view of the

HOMING PIGEONS.

recent discussion on the subject of the now celebrated Seddon pigeon, we make the following extract:—"lt must be borne in mind that; homing pigeons to be of any practical service, nauet be properly trained—that is, they must be accustomed to find their way home from distances increased by degrees. The first thing js to teacfj them to kaow •"Hei? i?QHie —the lotto which they are to return". This is effected by letting them out to fl/ round, and habituating them to come back *t a call to be fed. Their first flight should not be for more than a mile—under, rather than over. The birds are taken to the point where it is intended to toss them -that is, to throw them up for the return flight. The spot selected should, where possible, be open country, so that the birds may not have to cross lines of houses, and be tempted to settle. The next flight may be twice as long, and so, in progression, till they can find their way home from a distance of sixteen miles in a given direction. After this the increase must depend a good deal upon circumstances and on the judgment of the trainer. Thus, it will be ueen, there is no mysterious instinct at work, but the whole business is the result of careful training. A noted trainer was asked, in a recent interview,' When you want the birds to liy from one point to another—say, from Bristol to London—you have to train them over that particular course before hand V There was no hesitation about the reply, * Certainly ; they would never find their way otherwise.' And he added, for the informa'ion of the interviewer, that the birds, even when they make the journey success fully, sometimrs start off on a wrong route, find themseives at fault, come back to the starting point, and start off in another direction. This should, at least, scotch the homing instinct theory; and the following quotation from a letter by Mr Tegetmeier ought cer tainly to kill it. That gentleman saya : —' Of the animal in which the homing instinct is supposed to be develaped in the highest possible degree—namely, the homing pigeon—even after the most careful training, not one in a dozen can be induced to return home three hundred miles, and certainly not one in fifty, five hundred. The num ber of birds that are lost in training is incalculable' It will therefore save a good deal of misappreheng on if the fact be grasped that the homing pigeon is a bird which haa been trained to return home over a known coupe from a eon pi4ei'ftbls distwye, at a high rata of*

speed, the rate of an express train hav ing been exceeded in short flighty. The greater the distance, the less will be the rate of speed, and the greater the chance of the noa-rcitura of the bird. And no homing pigeon will carry a message from its home to any other spot." The foregoing, wo at, once admit, explodes the instinct theory as regards the Scddon pigeon, nor only that, but also the theory that the pigeon may possibly have risen high enough to see the coast of Aus tralia; indeed goes to show that even if the latter were possible it is in the highest dfcgree improbable that the bird could have flown the distance, ftvery possible theory of explanation of the alleged circumstance having thus lieei negatived, the conclusion is inevitable that a mistake as to the identity of the pigeon has been made, and that the one which came baok to the Australian loft was not one of those which had been previously sent to New Zealand.

Local and General.

Sporting notes on fourth page. The word " girl" occurs only ouce in the Bible.

Plants of musk growing in a room wil keep away flies.

Of the natives in India about 2,000,000 can now read English.

In Scotland Friday is considered an es pecially lucky day for a wedding.

Much as a man admires the truth, he prefers to have it told about some other fellow.

Mr Seddon leaves to-day ior Hobart. It is understood that during his absence the Minister of Lands will be Acting-Premier.

It is alleged that 70,000 tons of corks are required annually to plug up the beer and {Berated waters consumed in Great Britain.

The V'/j%v of Russia has to study economy on a salary of about .£2,200,000 a year. The Sultan of Turkey has only about half of that.

A Masterton girl hearing that the parson of the church which she attends was going 6o pray for rain last Sunday implored him to wait till after Monday, as that was her washing day.

The paragraph which appeared in yester day's issue with reference to the O'Shea n r=e case was incorrect in regard to the matter of costs. Costs were allowed to plaintiff to the amount of £5 18s lid.

A Canadian bride recently presented herself at the altar with her pet canary attached to a gold chain about her threat. The bird perched on her shoulder and burst into a glad aong while the service was proceeding.

One of the wealthiest heiresses in England is the Hon. Ella Williamson, the daughter of Lord Aahton. Lord Ashton has no sons and only one daughter. Miss Williamson will one day inherit about £70,000 a year and a place in Lancashire.

The revenue returns for the December quarter show receipts £1,395,946 and ex penditure £1,525,462. Customs contributed £480,241, land tax £265.410, railway* £316,441, beer duty £20234, stamps £176,172.

"No man ever obtained anything worth having without working hard for it," said Ms Bickers to her bus and, who was in a discouraged mood. " Quite true," replied Mr Bickers, reflectiveiy ; " I remember th«t I obtained you without the slighest diffi culty.

Mr W. Wills, of Barrhill, came a nasty cropper in East street this morning. His horse shied at a passing train and collided with a dray. Mr Wills was thrown from hid horsn and came down heavily. He does Htru appear to nKTB "BtratWtmJU L any™ SCriOUS injury, but he complains of severe pains in the back.

The Ohio Valley Manufacturer predicts that aluminium will be sold this year in Europe at 45 cents a pound. About a year ago it declined to 50 cents, but subsequently rose to 75 cents. Jt is prophesied that aluminium will be produced in enormous quantities and at prices which will permit many new uses.

The annual treat ot the St* Stephen's and Humpstead Sunday Schools will be held in the Djmain on Thuraday next, January 28. The superintendents and teachers do not iutend to canvass for provisions, etc., bu' will gladly receive any contributions the parents or members of the congregation may be disposed to offer.

Just ten years ago Mr C. W. Goodson, fancy goods dealer of Auckland, failed with liabilities amounting to £2,972, and the estate raid 5s O^d in the £. Mr Goodson haa since been quietly plodding along, and last week he called his creditors together and paid them another 5s in the £, and held oat promises of a further dividend.

'♦ When they get to heaven, they'll expect to get reserved seats" said the Rev. Mr Niven, at Columba Church, Oamaru, Ust Sunday night, in referring to those '"society" folk who look down on the unfortunates who don't happen to be in their "circle." And the congregation divided up a big smile between them.— Oamaru Mail.

In b> civil action on money matters, the plaintiff had stated that his financial position was always satisfactory. In cross examination, he was asked if he had ever been bankrupt, "No," was the answer. Next question was, '? Jiow, be careful ; did you ever stop payment.? " " was th< reply. "Ah J " exclaimed the counsel, " I thought we should get at it at last. When dii that happen ?" " After 1 had paid all I owed,** was the gnawer.

A?ked at a recent interview whether he thought, thj3 scenery of New Zealand had been overprajeed. Lord Brassey replied— "I do not. I think no language cou ddo justice to the subject. My experience in uch matters has been greater thtn that which fa la to the lot of most men. Voyag ing along many coasts, I have seen much of Nature's be%uty. I have made several voyages to the coast of Norway, I have been through Magellan Strait, I have seen the famous inland sea of Japan, I know Switzer land well, alao Italy, and I have seen uo'hing which equals in beauty and mag nificence the New Zealand sounds. What ever Nature has to show to man of the sublime and the beautiful is to be found there."

A special meeting of the Asliburton Pole Club was held ia Mr Brittou's Commercial Hotel—Mr Saunders presiding— to consider certain matters in connection with the recent poo sports^ meeting. The handi capping had not given the most comp'etf satisfaction, and the winning of the Pol. Cup and steeplechase by R jah had b en attributed to faulty handicapping, and the c airman s^id it was the Club's duty to the I punlio to look into the matter. the handi | c ipper had been asked to attend the meeting but had declined. Mr Claridge t the ow< e of Rajah, was on his way to England and could not attend. The position of affairs having been discussed, a re olution was carried regretting that in consequence of the a 'sence from the meeting of vlr Claridge and Mr Wynn-Williams—the one unable to be present and the other refusing to attend —an explanation of Hajah's running in the Polo Cup and Steeplechase was not obtainable.

The bicycles used in fche French Army each hay. an electric light, which can be turned on or off at will. Remember that raw potatoes grated and applied as a poultice are quick and sure relief for scalds and burns. The Plymouth Brethren Sunday Bchool held their annual picnic in the Domain on Thursday afternoon. The Queen of Greece is an accomplished yachtswoman, holds a master's certificate. >md is an honorary admiral iv the Russian navy. Addressing the Philosophical Sotiety, .tfr W, M. Maskell said it was not likely thai iho Queensland cattle tick would be iotro iuced into New Zealind, as it was a tropical insect, and did not come further South than latitude 26. The Waingaroa bridge, near Carterton, caught fire, it is supposed, from a spark from a traction engine. Mrs Cameron, who was driving home, saw it and carried water n a millinery box, which checked the fire ;ill assistance came, and saved the bridge, Instead of the usual monthly social the Wesleyans held an afternoon tea in the Domain on Thursday afternoon, their new venture being a great success, the pretty grounds attracting a large number of visitors. Before and after tea all iortß of games were indulged in, a pleasant day's outing being concluded at about 8 o'clock. Arrangements are being made to com memorate the sixtieth year of the reign of her Majesty Queen Victoria by an exhibition at the Crystal Palace, to be opened on May 24, 1397. It is proposed to illustrate by models and practical examples the famous iuventions in arts and industries during the past sixty years, and also the progress of other sides of national development. As a sort of prologue to this exhibition, a aeries of popular lectures, dealing with the ad vancements in science made dnring her Majesty's reign, will be delivered during March and April next.

They have an old age insurance system in Germany—based, we behove, on a, com pulsory tax on employers. This system, iccording to the Spectator, is not working a all smoothly. Thai journal says:—"cut we have also Been that as times went on, the German model, first held up to admira tion and for imitation, has been gradually but steadily withdrawn from view. The real fact is that although German officialism affects to look with peculiar pride upon old-age insurance, experience has made that form of insurance extremely unpopular in its own country, and is making it more so uvery day, the employers tind the tax oppressive, and resent it all the more since thesr treasure is laid up uaprofitably in lepartmentai strong boxes, or invested in Imperial *nd corporation stocks, instead of ueiug allowed to fructify in trade. The I oitject which the Government had in view of stimulating thrift and self-help has not been ! attained."

Last evening the Ashburton Orchestral Society held its annual business meeting and first practice for the season. Th-re was a fair attendance, and Mr A. Gordon was chairman. The secretary, Mr H. A. Gates, r- ad the annual report, which, amongat other things, mentioned that the Society had made nine public appearances during the year, and had played several new pieces —that is, new in the sense fc-at they had not been before given in Ashburton —on each occasion being well received. The Society was specially indebted to the leader, the conductor, and the committee, for their success in keeping the Society together duriog the year. The McDonald brothers having left the district, the Society found itself without cornet players, but thanks to Mr George Hoskin, band master of the Ash bur ton Brass Band, the Society had been able to fulfil its engage mentß with the public. The election of officers followed the adoption of the report. vJr Gordon was re-elected conductor; Miss Simmonds, leader ; and the following were elected to the general committee—Mrs Glaridge and Miss McOwen, Messrs Simmonds, Leggott, and Treziae. Miaa Simmonds and Messrs Gordon and Gates were elected a committee for the selection ~»t luaiu,.<mjl"At.-,o»tM w«» re-elected hon. secretary and treasurer. After 'ChankiTFaa been given to the retiriug officers, several new pieces recently imported from Home were put in practice, and should fo m a valuable addition to the Society's library.

SWIMMING.

A couple of events were swum off in the Domain baths, under the auspices of the Ashburton Amateur Swimming Club, on L'hursday afternoon. The weather was fine and there was a good attendance of the public. The following are the results :—

75 Yards Handicap.—tf. N. Anderson, 149 ec, 1; E. McTeague, 3£seo, 2; A. Wilkb, ilaec, 3. Time—7l£sec. P. Smith llse,c, P. Cookson 15sec, and Plunketb lOsec, also started. This was evidently the best race that has been swum in the bath, only half a yard separating the placed men at the finish.

30 Yards Boys Race.—P. Orr, ecr, 1 j D. Revell, scr, 2; F. Pilbrow, 2sec, 3 A good race ; won by a quarter of a yard: Time—2s 4-sth Bee.

RAKAIA AMATEUR SWIMMING CLUB

On Wednesday nghc the first distance, 25yds, of the junior competition was decided, there being nine competitors, and resulted in a good contest and a close finish, only about two feet separating first and fourth. The result was —Arthur Shephard 1, Edmund Howell 2, Sydney Oxley 3.

ACCIDENTAL POISONING.

Press Association—By Electric Telegraph'

Haavera, January 21.

This morning a poisoning accideut oc curred here. Yesterday a man named Ticklepenny, who was working in the coun try, biouglit home some oatmeal, which he found in a barn. This morning his wife and a neighbour cooked and ate some of it. The two women and five children were seized with violent vomiting, and their con dition was critical for a time, but they are now out of danger. It turns out that the oitmeal was mixed with arsenic, and wag used by the man's employer to poison rats.

MAGISTERIAL.

ASHBURTON—THURSDAY.

(Before Mr 0. A. Wray, S.M )

The following was the business transacted after we went to press yesterday :—

Affiliation.—ln a case m which Minnie Meynell sought to fix the paternity of her illegitimate son on Isaiah Gallagher an a<i journmeufc was granted till next Court day, to enable his Wor-hip to look up a law point raised by Mr Cress wellj who appear, d for the mother, in which he claimed the de fendant as a compellable witness, but which claim Mr Wiidiug for defendant opposed, contending that tne New Zealand statute over-ruled the English practice. The Horse Case —In the case of Suther land v O'Shea. £30, adjourned from last Gourt day, to obtain the evidence of P. O'Connolly, that witness was now present, and said thafe he heard Bolger aay he had given O'Shea one foal beoause it was not worth £5. This was in a general coa versa tion about Bo'ger's stock At another time he said he wanted no more white legs, and would not send hia mare again to 0 Shea's horae.—O'Shea, recalled, said he had had no dealings with Bo'ger about horses other than about the foal. Counsel having ad dressed the Court, his Worship found that O'Shea had not proved that there had been »n out and out sale, and he had left the horse with Bolgec for four years. During this time Bulger had sold to Sutherland There had been a good deal of dodgines« on the part of Bolger, bub O'Shea had added to the difficulty in not claiming the animal long ago, if he had any claim upon it. His Worship ordered the horse to be returned without damages and al owed the plaintiff costs, £518 a lid.

Several cases were adjourned.

COMMERCIAL.

LONDON WOOL SALES.

London, January 20 A better selection of wool was off-red to-day, ami the biddings showed an improve ment, but the pj ices remain unaltered.

Messrs Dalgety and Co., Limited, have received the following cablegram—" The lone of the wool market is rather firmer, but prices are irregular. American buyers are operating on a .-mallet scale."

CRICKET.

ASHBURTON JUNIORS v TINWALD.

A cricket match was played in the Ash burton Domain ob Thureday afternoon, between teams representing the Ashburton Juniors and the Tinwald Cricket Clubs. The weather was fine and the ground in fair condition. In their first innings tne Juniors put together 48 runs (E. Orr 16, Pilbrow 8), and in their second innings 47. Tinwald ia their first innings made 75 runs (Dixon 30, Roberts 11, Amos 10), and in their second innings knocked up 25 for the loss of one wioket, thus winning the mat oh with nine I wickets to spare. The following are . the scores:—

AsHßUßTOfWjuNioßS—First Innings. F. Priichard, b Dixon .» 4 J.ickson, b Dixon ... , »~ 0 E. Orr, lbw, b Dixon .« 16 Smith, run out .„ .*. 0 EUigeot, b Dixon „. 0 Andrews, c Constable, b Dixon ... ... 7 Pilbrow, lbw, b Dixon ... .„ .« 8 Marsden, b Dixon ... 0 J. Pr it chard, b Dixon 4 Gourdie, run out ..» 6 P. Orr, not out .... .„ .-. .« 1 Extras , , .... .•• 2 Total 48 Bowling Analysis—Dixon, 64 balls, 20 runs, 8 wickets ; Keller, 30 balls, 22 runs ; Sawle, 30 balls, 2 maidens, 4 runs.

Tinwald—First Innings. Sawle, b Marsden ... ... ... ... 3 E. Price, lbw, b Andrews... .- ... 0 1 Hxun, run out ... ... ... ... 30 Blackburn, b Marsden ... ... ... 9 Keller, b Andrews ,„ ... 0 F. Clark, run ou<; 0 Moore, b Andrews ... ... ... ... 2 Roberts, b Jackson ... 11 Amos, not out 10 Constable, b Jackson 1 C. Clark, b Jackbon ... 1 Extras 9 Total 75 Bowling Analysis—Marsden, 54 balls, 1 maiden, 16 runs, 2 wickets; Andrews, 64 balls, 28 runs, 3 wickets ; Jackson, 33 balK 2 maidens, 14 runs, 4 wickete; Gourdie, 18 balls, 8 runs.

Juniobs—Second Innings. E. Orr, bSawle ... ... 2 Pilbrow, c Ckrk, b Sawle 1 Andrews, c Constable, b Sawle ... ... 1 F. Pritchard, rua out 1 Baigent, b Price ... ••• 10 Jackson, b Sawle 4 J. Pritchard, c and b Price 0 Smith, b Dixon .. ... 7 Marsden, b Sawle .„ ... 0 Gourdie, b Amos 0 P. Orr, not out ... ... .- ... U Extras ... ... 10 Total , ."... ... 47 Bowling Analysis—Price, 42 balls, 10 runs, 3 maidens, 2 wickets; Sawle, 60 balls, 24 runs, 1 maiden, 5 wickets ; Amos, 18 balls, 5 runs, 1 wicket; Dixon, 2 balls, 1 wicket. 1 inwald—Second Innings. Price, nob out . ... 14 , Roberta, b Maraden «. ... ... 11 Total .« 25 Bowling Analysis—Marsden, 12 balls, 9 runs, 1 wicket; Andrews, 8 balls, 16 runs.

Vitriol-Throwing at Paeroa.

A Press Association telegram from Auck land states that an exciting occurrence startled Paeroa on Wednesday afternoon. So far as is known a man and a woman, stated to be a newly-married couple, arrived there from Auckland a couple of days ago, and shortly there came upon the scene an other main who, ii is said, had been pre viously acquainted with the lady in Austra lia. On his arrival he found the party, and, it is alleged, he shook hands with the lady and then with the gentleman, also that whilst holding the gentleman's right hand he drew a bottle of acid from his pocket and threw the contents over the face and clothes of the other man. The latter is badly burned about the face, and large holes are burnt in his clothes. The man who is alleged to have committed the assault left for Auckland. On the arrival of Constable Beatty by steamer &t Auckland yesterday afternoon an infor mation was laid against a man named Carroll in connection with the occurrence and a warrant was issued for his arrest. The man injured is named Robert Jewell. Later par ticular show that the affair borders on the side of romance. The affair occurred at the Royal Mail Hotel, Jackson being the name of the man severely burned. The young woman, it appears, became engaged to a man named Carroll at Sydney, but the en gagement was broken off, and the young lady left Sydney for Auckland, where, after a time, she made the acquaintance of Jackson. The friendship deepened into love, and they agreed to get married. In the meantime, however, the rejected lover appeared bn the scene, and he having, it is alleged, made cer tain threats, Jackson and his intended wife went to P<*eroa to get married quietly and without any interference on the put of Car roll. The latter followed them up, and on Wednesday night met the two in a room at Crosby's Hotel, where, after using violent language, he threw a bottle of sulphuric acid <at his rival. Luckily Jackson stooped, and the contents of the bottle, instead of going on his face, fell upon his forehead instead, though one drop touched bis eyelid, and in fl cted a nasty burn. His forehead suffered most, and a nasty scar is left. Jackson is considered disfigured for life, Carroll has Itift Auckland, and is not yet captured. He is supposed to have gone Bouth yesterday. The aoid was exceedingly strong, so much so that the wall paper on which a quantity fell, was burned through. Had Jackson received the full force of the acid in his face it is believed he would have been blinded for life. D spite the pain he suffered Jackson married the lady yesterday afternoon.

CORRESPONDENCE.

(We do not hold o argelves reapona'l? s top the opinions expressed by our correspondents)

THE FIRE BRIGADE.

TO T&E EDITOR,

Bi»,—We have a well-equipped and well trained iire Brigade, who can hold their own for Bmartneas with most Brigade* in the Colony, as is proved by the results of the annual competition. At the same time I think they make a serious mistake in taking their steamer to every fire, and not using their manual engine more. The latter is one of considerable power and well able to cope with a fire in amo \ crate sized i isolated building, while 4t can be got to work in much less time than the steamer. Where a single building is concerned, by the time the steamer has pumped a head of water on, the building is about doomed. I hve been struck with this fact on several occasions. Afc the fire in Moore Street on Wednesday.although the house was partially saved, it did seem to me that, if th* manual had been brought round promptly, the damage done would have been trifling. The fire when first discovered, was very small, and it burned dowly ; but by the time the engine had b3en got into position, steam up, and a full head of water turned on, a really considerable interval had elapsed, and the fire spread through the greater part of the building, with the results known to your readers. I think the Brigade would be able to perform more valuable service if the use of the steamer were restricted to the larger conflagrations, while the manual engine shoul 1 be utilised in the case of smaller fires, and I commend this suggestion to the, proper *jjMoritwi.-J wn, •tf? l'^" '

KASPAR'S WALLET.

Bagpipe music appears to be becoming the cult of the day—whioh goes to show that there is bo acooun ing for the vagaries of fashion. The music of the pipes in in spiriting no doubt, and a pipe-band at the head of a regiment of kilted lads is decidedly in place, but it is certainly a novelty to fiod he pipes making their appearance in the drawing-room Yet the Westminster Gazette is authority for the statement that the bag pipos are btcoming papular in the drawing rooms of Scotland, while I read m other quarters that even ladies south of the Tweed are turning their attention to the came in- I strument. A Scottish friend explains to me that the " drones " are dropped, and that without these the pipes sound very much like a clarionette or oboL I suppose it's all right, but till I shall nave heard a drawing room performance I reserve my opinion. To judge from another bit of news which I have come across, we are on the eve of a renaissance of bagpipe music extending beyond the bounds of the United Kingdom, for it is said that the commanding officer of a French battalion, Commandant Dumas, his it in view to form a pipe-band, "an imitation of the Highlanders' band whioh (wiiting to Mr David Glen, the well-known bagpipe-maker in Edinburgh, he says) I have admired many times." The tame ofhoer also enquires " the price of good claymores," ao that it would aeem within the bounds of possibility that v?e may soon hear of a French regiment— the tgth Battalion dcs Chasseurs a Pud— armed with the Scottish national weapon; marching to the strains of Soobtiah national 1 music.

Writing in the Gtap&ic on the ium sab* jeot—the rising popuUrity of the pipe*— Mr Andrew Bterry saya :—lt ia with const* derable alarm I hear that the bagpipes we likely tb become the fMhion»ble mosq»l in strument ; that there ia likely to be * once for them juat m there was at one time (or the banjo, and skirt dancing. lam rather interested in this, movement, m I once wrote * song for bagpipes, whioh I caUed " Skreliiesporran," and there may be some chance now of its being produced with the proper accompaniment. If I mistake not it ran somewhat in this wise :— Haggis broo ia bla' and braw, Kittie kail is a' awa'; Gin a lassie kens fa' weel Ilka pawkie rattlin' reel, Parritch glowry i' the cc, Mutchkiu for a wee drappie ; FeckiV is the bariey-bree Unco gude 1 Ah ! wae is me « Hey the laddie! Ho the plaidie; Hey the aonsie Finnan haddie I Hout aw»' 1 This is only one verse out of about forty, but I daresay you will find it is quite enough. You will probably say that it it nonsense—that is because you do not Under stand Scotch, besides, when the bagpipes are being played you cannot hear anything else, so the words are of secondary impor tance.

What queer notions of New Zealand one friends at Home must have—that ia if they rely in any degree upon the informa tion given to them by returned globe* rrotters, and by certain newspapers and political agitators. For example, I read that Ben iillett, who is supposed to b« on nil way to visit the colony, and who if he doM will get hie eyes opened—in a speech at Northampton told his hearers among other things that New Zealand doea not possess a single newspaper, that all the land wai nationalised twenty-five years ago, that education is absolutely free up to and in cluding a. University course etc. etc. And now comes a Southampton paper which gravely assures its readers that the majority of the life members of the Legislative Coun cil are so worn out and decrepit with ag« that they have to be trundied down to the. House in bath-chairs when oocasion requires their presence, and that some of them have to be brought down in blanket*! It is. quite true that a number of the life mem* beraare"in the sere and yellow leaf " bnt such a picture as is painted by the South ampton paper is just a little too highly colored.

A correspondent, responding to my invita* tion bo forward any racy anecdotes worth reproducing, sends me the folio wing:—I fancy I have seen it before, and, if so, then donbt less some of my readers have. Nevertheless even in that case it will bear repetition:— One winter day * country beadle greeted his minister as the latter made his ap pearance in the vestry with the remark, ' It's a cauld moroin' this, sin, ' Ay, James. Do you know that those who are not ' called' cannot be ' chosen'?' pnwkily replied the minister, with special empiusis on the word ' called,' and a play on the word 'cauld ' used by James, for he was a bit of a wag, and dearly loved to crack a joke.

' Oo ay, sir, that's quite true,' replied the beadle waggishly; 'but ke ken they that are not 'chosen' winna be very likeiy-to be •cauld? either,' *

Human nature is pretty much a bundle of inconsistencies, and folk who might almost be classed with the uneoguid ■■■o straitlaoed are they in the matter of games of chance, si&aeps, consultations, totalisator* and tbt like—are often found looking with a lenient eye on lotteriea held in connection with Church bazaars. The inconsistency of this attitude is rendered amusingly prominent by juxtaposition in the following, which is the heading of a Parliamentary return juab issued, viz " Lottery Permits issued to Religious Denominations, and Totalisator Licenses to Racing Clubs." From this it appears that forty-one such permits wert, is-ued during the year ended 31st March last. Of this number, sixteen were granted to Roman Catholic churches, eight to tboa* of the Church of England, and one to a Preajbyterian Church ; in the remaining sixteen cases the denomination is not stated. To my niiud parsons who preach against consultations and permit of lotteries or ra files at their church t azaars cannotcomplain if people classify them with those who " compound for sins they are inolined to by damning those they hare no mind to. By-the-bye in connection with the ireturn under notice I may add that it shows that the total amount passed through t)}| totalisator last year must have been np leu than £723,773 6s Bd, inasmuch as the amount of revenue received by the Govern* meat (H P«r cent) was £11,166 12s Id.

Dolgelly (Wales) hna an imitator of the methods of the Spartans who made their helots drank ia order to e^oite diagast against the vices of e^oess; only Dolgelly's imitator played the experiment by her own proper «elf. She ia a person named Shieldf, who is well-known locally, aocprding to the Western Mail % as a popular temperance lecturer. She was found in a drnnkes »nd disorderly condition, and was taken before 1 the magistrates. She sty ed that she became intoxicated to ahow the Dolgelly people the I curse of drink. They would benefit by seeing her stand disgraced, apparently, in a prisoner's dock. The magistrates informed her that there was also a penalty of 10s to pay, or fourteeu days. The defendant—la this not sufficient punishtnent and disgrace ? Cannot yon give me the benefit of the Fins Offenders' Act ? Mr Wynne Williams (chair mau)—No; you must pay or goto prison for fourteen days.

I don't take muchly to conundrums as a rule, but here ie one that haa been eeat to me which ia good in its way, though id would take a Cockney to appreciate it properly. This is it—• What is the differ* en cc between an egg and a mare 1 " And the answer is—" One ia a {A)eg.g. and the other a she g.g." Twist it * To this may be appended the further query—What ia the difference betwean an egg and a buiiock ? and the anawer^-One carries its yolk inside and the other carries its yoke outside. . Kaspak.

THE ASBBURfON GtTABDIAtf s FBIDAY, JANUARY 22, 1897.



Busine s Notices ___' 000 D WASHING PRINT, 3|d. WHITE MUSLTN, 3d lid per doz | At G. J. NEILL'S. A BEAUTIFUL SUMMER DRESS FOR 6a lid AT .G. J. NEILL'S, Flannelettes 3*d yard. The Beet Turkish TOWELS in Ashburlon are a'- G. J. NEILL'S. BOSS 1 Navy Blue Sailor Snita 4s lid, Mea'a Tweed Trousers 5a lift, Men*. Heavy Colonial Tweed Suits 25s 6d, ats G. J. NEILL'S. |L»die ßj Lace Shoes, 4« Ud. Ladie. two-Btrap Shoes, 4s lid. AT G. J. NEILL'S. UAlw\ ttaidn'.indChildMn'i TAN SHOES of Every Description, at V^ry Low Prices, G. J. NEILL'S, FRIEBLANDER'S CORNER, EAST STREET.



BOOM IN DRAPERY. CROWDS ON SATURDAY. lIOST COMING BACJK TO SALB AT MITCHELL & TURNER'S.



NEW FIRM -:- -:- -: -:- '-:-'.-:- NEW FIRM SAVE. MONEY BY DEALIHG WITH MITCHELL & BRODRIBB NO BAD DEBTS. NO OLD STOCK THAT ACCUMULATES BY YEARS ov BUSINESS THE Public should only consider what they can save by dealing with a Cash Firm, where they do not have to pay for the great losses that are occasioned by Bad Debts. MITCHELL & BRODRIBB BUY AND SELL FOR CASH, THEREFORE THEY Alt! ABLE TO GIVE BETTER VALUE THAN ANY OTHER PLAGE IN ASHBURTON. & Pew Quotations will be Convincing — Brown Ribbed Paots (heavy) Is 6d -worth Ladies' Hose, fast colors, plain and ribbed la lid Pair M«m'« Hn«k« fid—worth 9d White and Brown Turkish Towels, only 6d Hairline Trousers 8a 6d-cheap at of . q W?llt lS a ChoriS B t2A^ortment of Hats Ladies' sX £traws, all shades and shapes, *yo n»vo v ~ from 9d eaca—Pick your own shape iq.,j. «tL»» Prinf for3alld—Cheap at 68 and trimming, and have youi K^Sff SSi^TUid U ld, Pdo«ble Millinery done Freeof Charge/ JTOLL EANGES OF KAIAPOI AND MOSGIEL CLOTHING. MB&SUBBD GAEMESTS A SPECIALTY. 49s 6i> FUL TOLLmLfT RSo M 49s 6d MITCHELL & BRODRIBB, SAST STIiBBT



Business Notices. NEW ZEALAND Clothing Factory, i COLE AGENTS FOR THE FAMOUS " VICTORY " SEWING MACHINE.



a ■ p CO ° . 53 a ■ iisli[iS Mile gin 1 CO a p PP P=j



TEN POXJJWOS TRIAD t 5 COMPETITION. 2 P 0 — n, mHIS MONTH the TEI AD X offers a prize of £10 to the 0 one who selects from the under- _ mentioned list of novels the six w ■y most popular books. This competi- w tion will be decided^by the compe- V| . titors themselves. The person H who votes for the six books which ** £* the majority vote for will receive J ** JBIO ; or, should there be two or mo" 9 voters tor the same six that the nT^rity v.°. te. for > <*« money will 'be divided equally them. The c^ltlonß are as under:— 1. Write down on paper the * ! titles of what yon consider the six most popular books in the follow liat: Westward Ko ! Pickwick Papers, Trilby, We Two, Lady Audley's Secret, My Novol, Handy Audy, Bleak House, Kenilworth, She, Va entine Vox. East Lynne, Charles O'Malley, The Hoavealy D Twins, Adam Bede, John Halifax, j Gen'lemaD, Vanity Fair, Ivanhoe, " Q Monte Ohristo, Woman in White, M m T.»m Brown's Schooldays, The 4 % Yellow Aster, Cle^ Kelly, The *J Wooing O't. U 2. Purchase 5* worth, or more, » of anything you may require, V from one of the firms below, and v * get a receipt, and post receipt and <• "^ your list of six to the Manager, A TRIAD, Dunedin. If you enclose w | receipt for 10s or over you may H 1 send in two lists ; if for 15a, three 2J ' lists ; and so on for every 5a worth J^ r* purchased.  *i Ashburton Drapery Co. 0 Gates, Horace *i., Music Ware- „ P house (agent for Triad). « N.Z. Clothing JB'actory TJBN POTJIV.OH



Church Services. ST. STEPHEN'S CHURCH, Ashburton. Friday—Short Service, 7.30 p.m. Choir Practice, 8 p.m. SUNDAY SERVICES. 8.30.—H01y Communion. 11 a.m.—Morning Prayer. 3 p.m.—SEAFIELD. 6.30 p.m.—Evening Prayer. Annual Treat THURSDAY 28, in Domain. Donors of Provisions will kindly send them to St Stephen's Schoolroom at 9 o'clock on THURSDAY MORNING. REV. T. A. HAMILTON.



NOTICE. , HIHERE is a vacancy for one apprentice in this Office. Applicant must have passed the sixth standard. Ashburton Publishing Company. January 18th. M1 " ILLINER/Y—Ladietshould inspect the new Millinery, Capeß, Mantles, Jacket*, Blouses, French and English QorMfci} all bw »n4 up to d§tw,-"A. 0a»» *



Holloway's Pills and Ointment—The attention of all sufferers is drawn to these well known remedies, for they possess con spicuous advantage as a safe and reliable aid i«i all those emergencies to which travellers, emigrants, and sailors are so especially liable. They have been largely patronised by wayfarers by land and sea, and, in faofc, I by all classes of the community, to their very I gyeat advantage* The Pills are beyond all doubt one of the'moat' ef'ectjye remedies ever discovered for cases of abittnafce constipation, confirmed indigestion and oolio, complaints whioh are engendered by exposure and irregu lar feeding The Ointment will be found of the very greatest service in oases of piles, abscesses, erysipelas, And »H kind* of local ultfsratioai. <



Ym try %ht JVm Vmvt Tobaee? «,



Chamberlain ■ (Tough Remedy cures colds, croup and whooping oough. Uis pleasant, safe and reliable. For aale by Asvbcrtox Dkttg Company. , It will be seen by a new advertisement in another column that Menra Craighead 'aid Berryman are probably now shewing the largest stock of new tweed* and fashionable' tailoring goods ever exhibited in Aahbur ton.' Thii speaks well for tHtfc tn^rn^M audlpoafUidMtry. >