TO CORRESPONDENTS

Attention to the following rules will save the writers of correspondence a good deal of trouble:— We cannot under take to return rejeoted communications. No notloe can be taken of anonymous communications. Whatever 1b Intended for Insertion In this jonrnal must be authenticated by the name and address of the writer, not necessarily for publi cation, but as a guarantee of good faith. Letters and other communications in tended for insertion in the news column shonld be addressed to Thb Editor; and bll business communications, in cluding advertisements," addressed to Thb Ashbubton Publishing 00.

The Ashburton Guardian. Magna est Veritas et Prævalebit MONDAY, DEOEMBER 3, 1888. MAKING A BILLET.

Seeing that the present Government claim to be par excellence the Ministry of Retrenchment the news wired on Saturday of the creation of an entirely new, highly paid, and, as it seems to us, wholly unnecessary billet, is matter for surprise and for not a little dissatisfac tion. At first we could not credit the story, but it seems from what appears in the Wellington papers to be quite correct that Mr G. V. Shannon, who is a partner in the wholesale soft goods firm of Thomson, Shannon and Co, and a Major of Volunteers, has been ap pointed expert adviser to the Customs Department in connection with the class of goods in wbich he has been accus tomed to deal, and that to thin uen vcnva the very handsome salary of £800 a year has been attached. How is it, we want to know, that an, expert adviser in soft goodß has never before been found necessary, and if the discovery has now been made that such an adviser is wanted in relation to this class of goods, why are not expert advisers also wanted in connection with what is known as hardware, the goods of the so-called Italian warehouseman, and a number of other classes of merchandise in connec tion with which none but experts are expected to be au fait la all the details of qualities and values ? The precedent sec should indeed be followed by at least half-a-dozen other similar appoint ments and no doubt this will pre sently involve the further appoint ment of deputy or assistant ex perts, Then again if a soft-goods ex-" pert at £800 a year is wanted at Wel lington, why not at all the other chief ports of the colony, and if this sort of thing is to go on we wonder where the benefits of the retrenchment policy are to be found. It is true that in appoint ing Mr Shannon, Ministers have not shown favor to a political supporter, for that gentleman has been for years an active opponent of Major Atkinson, but it will no doubt be unkindly said by other opponents of the Government that perhaps they were glad to take a step which will result in their having one opponent the less. We will not, how ever, attribute any such motive to Ministers, but we dp ' thjnk that they have made a serious mistake, not only in the appointment itself, but, also in the , very high salary attached to it. If expert advice in soft goods, or any other class of goods, was wanted it could have been got in abundance for half the money, and it is nothing short of absurdly extravagant to pay to the new appointee to this very comfortable billet a salary equal to that of the heads of important departments, nay, even equal to the pay of a Minister of the Crown.

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

The Frenoh Council of Ministers ref uses to suspend the import; tariff on cereals, on account of the inadequate home crops. , Peru has ratified the treaty of amity, com merce, and navigation" between it and the United States, The curio dealers of Kyoto, (Japan), have deputed to opon a show-room sear the Kitano Temple, where no article wilt be admitted that 18 lees than 1000 yeara old. Four of the largest manufacturers of copper wire for eleotrioal purposes in the United States used in 1837 13,500,000 pounds of copper. Mr Sone Ginsaburo of Sakurado-oho, Shiba, Japan, has invented a musical instru ment somewhat similar to a piano, which emits sounds through the action of eleotrioifcy. By the Eimutakr*, whioh arrived at Lyttel tpn on Sunday, Mr S. Grum and Mr Perks, two Asbbpf ton residents, who hate been on a vißit to the Qld Country, returned to the oolonj. The Island of Cuba, Edgar L. Wakeman •ays, in a letter to the " Republic," offers a splendid field for the oulture of coffee. One* half of the southern slope of the island is cultivable ai the finest coffee lands of the world. Ke&tfng's Powder destroys both moth, fleas beetles, and all other insects, while quite harmless to domestic animals. Jn extermmit ing beetles, the success of this powder is extraordinary. It is perfectly clean in appli. cation See the arMcle you purchase is Keatings as imitations are noxious and" in* effectual. S Win tins, frj, is. and ?s 6a by i oU chemists ■— ■ *

The prioa of bread in Dunedin has been raised to sixpence. This is the last, night the rink will be opened before the Carnival, and all thoEe who intend taking part on that oooasion are re quested to get their skate number to-night. The " Gazette " notifies that from the Ist Deoember the bird known as the " ruru " or •'koukou" by natives, and as the "night jar " or •• morepork " by ooloniata, oom*es under the operation of the Animals Pro tection Acts. '. ■ The Intercolonial Amateur. Champion Four-oared outrigger race was rowed' on the Paramatta river, New South WWob. on Sat urday afternoon. The competing orews wew Viotoria, New South Wales, Tasmania, and New Zealand* Yiotoria won by two lengths, the New Zealand (Canterbury) crew being a good seoond, Experiments having been tried for some time past with Japanese iron, it has been discovered that very fine steel oan be made from it, and a' company is now being formed for the production of steel by the latest and most soiontiflo prooesseß. Oosta Rioa has praotioally. demonstrated her sympathy with the revival of the Central Amerioan Confederation, by proolaiming that all the citizens of the neighboring Central Amerioan Republics will be considered citizens of Oosta Rioa. An eleotrio railway is being built in a suburb of St. Paul, Minn. It is an elevated structure, and the oars are hung.below it, nearly to the street. They hang from sets of wheels taking their power from the tracks which are charged with eleotrioity. Mr W. O. Davis has opened a toy and fancy bazaar in Tancred street, near the oorner of East street. He has a large stook of ariioles suitable for Christmas and New Year gifts,, which are marked at the lowest prices. Many of the toys he has on view are very novel and are well worth inspection. What with bandits, bad government, cor rupt officials, oppressive taxes, and industrial depression, Cuba seems to be in a bad way. The bandits, as they aro termed, appear to be the only really prosperous element in sooiety, but at the rate at which they are working there will soon be a soaroity of rioh men in the island to operate on. The Auckland correspondent of a contem porary writes:—Country settlers are jubilant at the advance in oountry produce, and, are hurrying it to port as fast as possible. Ona Waikato settler in a large way haa received an inquiry for a quotation of butter, taking five tonß. He replied; "Fifteenpenoe per lb," so as to leave a decent margin for a com* ing deal. To his surprise promptly oame a telegram. " Aocepted." Aooording to the " Indian Mercury," pub lished in Amsterdam, tho. Government of Paraguay has given a very unconditional permit to a Dutch Company to lay out tobacco plantations. It is said that the representa tive of the Company, H. A. J. Batz, has been granted a number of privileges, among which is that the tobaooo shall be free from taxa tion. The trials already made are said, to justify a very hopeful view of things.' The British Government has been pleased to recognise the sarvioes of Captain Hay ward of the S 8, Mariposa, in going out of his direot course to Bave the passengers and crew of the wreoked bark Henry James at Palmyra Island. Captain Hay ward is the reoipient of a piece of plate, Chief Officer Hart of a gold shipwreck medal, and four of the orew each receiva a silver medal and ten dollars in oaab. Up to a few years ago travel in Hayti was exclusively on horaebaok, but now a great many light vebioles are imported and ex tensively used ; oarriages are run on the cab system for public hire! Buggies are ba eoming very popular with business and professional men; in foot the higher class of people are beginning to keep private oarriages. The major quantity of all conveyances are imported from the United States, but there is a preference for English. Amsterdam claims to have beoome the prinoipal market in Europe for tobaooo, in consequence of the excellent quality of the Sumatra tobaooo, whioh is sought for there by buyers from all parts of the world, and especially by the American cigar manufac turers, and of the large amounts of Dutch capital invested in the plantations of Sumatra, Java and Borneo, the extent of whioK il daily Innraasing. Installations ,^# «,iont»;« —Mgnting"..'fait domestio purposes on a large scale have lately been carried out in London, one of the largest ever token.'in hand by a single firm being the one now in action at the Italian Exhibition at Earl's Court, Kensington. The whole of the exhibition is lighted by the firm on the Thomson-Houston system, and up to the present there has been a noticeable steadiness and purity of light jn the art galleries, whioh demonstrate that aro lamps oan perform suoh duties without hissing, • spark shooting, or other startling vagaries. There were on view at Messrs Friedlander Bros', office on Saturday afternoon'; two oil paintings from the brush of Mr G. F. Fodor, the well-known animal painter. The paint ings were of two representative sheep from Mr Max Friedlander's Hampshire Down flock, and Mr Fodor showed by his work that his reputation as an artist is well merited. The sheep that have been thus honored are phenomenal speoimens. One, the champion ram, scales a little over 4001bs live weight, while the other, a ewe boggett, 14 months old, would kill at from 1551bs to 1601bs, Mr Fodor has. we understand, secured several orders from owners of stook in this district to execute paintings of their prigo animals. The other day (says the •• Southport Guardian ") a picnic party arrived at Hawar den with the object of seeing and having, if possible, a word or two with Mr Gladstone, but were at a loss to know how to attain their object, when they were joined in the park by the old park-keeper and guide. One of the party said to the man, " Do you think we shall be able to see Mr Gladstone to-day ?" " I don't know," he replied. " Are you a choir?" " No," was answered. " Oan you sing ?" he inquired. "Yes, we can." "Well, the best way would be to sing one of his favorite hymns." "What is that?" was aßked, " All hail the power of Jesus' name." If you sing that to the old tune it will bring him out, or nothing will. The hymn was sung, and in a minute or two Mr Gladstone appeared on the terraoe, his face beaming with delight, A Julian eleotrio oar, of the pattern whioh the New York Fourth avenue surf aoe railway company proposes to substitute for horse oars, has been plao^d on the line for public use and is giving general satisfaction. The motion was quite as smooth as that of a cable oar, and turns were rounded without a jolt. A slight hissing noise aeoompanies its motion. A practical advantaga of the oar as shown was the perfeot control exercised by the driver. The oar is 18 feet long, has two truqks. and is handsomely furnished. It is lighted by eleotrioity, and.is driven by an eleotrio motor, operated by the ourrent of a storage battery whioh is ohanged for a re* charged battery every second tripl Ten similar oars will Boon be running on the line. The Croften* Commiaiion continues bnsy in Orkney. Some of the details given arc very interesting and suggestive. On the estate of Grnmihall in the South of the Mainland, for example, where the landlord, Mr A. & Gr»me, was on the best terms possible with hjs tenantry, and highly re speoted by them, it was, nevertheless, i.fiown that the profterß had themselves reclaimed their lands from waste, while there had been oontinual rises in the rent. The reductions just given in the island of Sanday amount to an average of 26 per oent. on a total rental of £892 5s 7d, and an average of 42 per cent, on a total of £820 13s lid arrears. The total number of cases bo far deoided has been 383, with an average reduotion of 27 per oent. rentß, and 49 per oent. arrears. I ,

Hollowav's Pills.—Enfeebled Existence. —This medicine embraces every attribute required in a general and domestic remedy. It overturns the foundations of disease laid by defective food and impure air. In obstructions or congestions of the liver, lungs, bowels, or any other organs, these pills are specially serviceable and eminent'y successful. They should be kept in readiness in every family being a medicine of incomparable utility for young persons, especially those of feeble con stitutions. They never cause pain or irritate the most se»sitive nerves or most tender bowels. Hplloway's Pills are the best known purifiers of the blood, the most active pro moters of absorption and secretion, whereby all poisonous and obnoxious parfioles we removed froin both solid.9 and fluids,

THE MAORI FOOTBALLERS.

— » {(Per Press Assooiation.) London, Deoomber 1. A football match between the New Zea'anders and an Irish Representative Fifteen was played at .Dublin to-day, when the visitors won by 4 goals ani 1 Iry'agai: st 1 goal and 1 try.

EUROPEAN SITUATION.

— . — + . . (PBB, PRESS ASSOOIAHOIT.) --!,-.., Bbbmn, Deoember 1. The bitterness displayed by the Austrian and German Press towards France has led to official interference, and their tone is now much calmer. A French ex-attache has been ex pelled from Alsace. Paris, December 1. M. de Freycinet, French Minister of War, will ask the Chamber of Deputies to vote an immediate war credit of 400,000,000fr.

THE MARKETS

. ; (P3B PBKBS ASSOCIATION.) London. Doceraber 1. At the wool sales crossbreds were scarce; good qualities show an advance of Id per lb, and coarse A cargo of Adelaide wheat has been sold at 40s 6d. The New Zealand Loan and Mercan tile Agency Company, Limited, has received the following cablegram from its London office, under date 80t N.Qiember : — Wool — The sales gain firmness as they progress. Frozen Meat — Market deprcßied. Canterbury and Wellington mutton are .worth 4d and B|d per lb respectively. Beef, quotations unchanged*

CUSTOMS AND BEER DUTY

.- . v [PER PRESB ASSOCIATION.] Wblmngtonj November 2. : The amount of Customs revenue col lected in New Zealand during the past month was £l70,0C« 4s 3 », the principal contributors being— Dnne^io, £54,823 14s sd; Lyttelton ond Christchurch, £30,190 10s lid ; Wellington, £30,065 4a lOd ; j Auckland, £29,923 0s Bd. The estimate -I for toe month was £126 250, 60 that the arnonnt collected exceeds it by about £50,000, prncipa'ly due to heavy clear ances in coDaequeaoe of the new regula tions as to case spirits. The amount re ceived during eight months of tho financial year is in. round numbers £.986,948, or £.23,052 Jos* than the estimate. Jjuring the month which ended yester day £4146 5a 4d was colleotea as beer iniy throughout the colony, the priaoipal alcnounts being as follows .'—Auckland, £895; Dunedin, £892 2a 8d ; Chriitchurch, £791 ; Wellington, £414 12s 4d. The amount was about £100 less than the estimate. The amount received during j eight months of the financial year was £31,105 Ua 6d, or £2894 8s 6d below the estimate.

THE QUEENSLAND GOVERNOR

(P*b Press Association.) *t Adelaide, Drogmber 1, "Speaking at, the Caledonian Bocietj>s hanquet last night, the Governor, Sir W. Robinson, said he did not believe the jSeople of South Australia desired a t W. me it of their l*overnors r and certainly in his opinion the responsibility of the appointments should rest with the Imperial Govern ment. It was perhaps, reasonable that an opportunity should be allowed the colonies to express their objections in good time, if in their opinion there was anything against the proposed appoint ments. He believed the Home Govern ment, having necessarily conducted the present correspondence on the subject by cable, had misunderstood the wishes of i the colonies. He suggested that pro minent public men of the different colonies should go Home and diseuss the question with the Colonial Office and adjust the differences. . London, November 30. Ihe announcement that General Sir H. W. Norman, Governor, of Jamaica, has been selected as Governor of Queensland was repeived in the House of Commons with cheers. London, December 1. In a letter to "The Times," Mr Bennio, referring to the appointment of General Sir H. Norman to ihe Gover norship of Queensland, depreoates re warding the obstinacy of the colony by sending them one of the oldest servants of the Crown. He thought the objec tions urged against Sir H. A. Blake would equally apply to General Norman, and that the division in the Victorian Assembly furnishes conclusive argu ment against conceding the colonies a right to veto the Governors. The system of administration adopted by Sir H. Parkes, Premier of New South Waleß, made every Governor suspected of partisanship so soon as he landed. The press generally, eulogise General Pir H. W, Norman, who has been ap pointed Governor of Queensland. The " Times " says Queensland is for tunate to obtain a superior man for an inferior position. The " Chronicle " considers that an ornamental figurehead would be unsuitable for the colony, and thinks Sir H. W. Norman js eminently qualified for the position. The "Daily News " says Queensland has practically vetoed Sir H. A. Blake despite Lord Knutsford. The " Economist " declares that it is an autonomous victory, and adds that the connection is impaired, that it recognises the veto, and that Britain is to submit to dictation. The resolution passed by the Victorian Legislature with reference to the appojnt mejit of colonial Gpyernors, was received with cheera on being read in the House of Commons to-day.

SPORTING.

- — ■ — * DUNFD'N RAOBS. f.

The following events were doolded after we wtnfc to press on Saturday:—. Novel Race ; 65 bovb. Mobs Rose ... ... , 1 Jack ... ,„ 2 Matatnala „ 3 Won bjr a length. Dividends— -£4 14a »nd £717 6d. Grand Stand Handicap j 76 bovb, Ohio ... ... 1 Adnhtlon ... ... ... 2 Sierra ... ... 3 Won e»fllly. Dividends— £4 6s 6d and £31756d. . Obiibriojt Stakjs ; 100 aova. Retina , 1 , S»voy ... ... 2 Miss Anna" ... ... ... 3 Won by a neck. Time— lmln Slseoa. Divide* ds— £2 8< and £2 4b 6*. Tahuna Park Welter Handicap ; 90 bovb. Wolverine ... ... ... 1 M^n Loup , 2 Evening Star 3 Won eaatly. Dividends— £2 18s 6d and £3 5)62. The Time Trot wan won by Setnolfno, paying dividends of £8 2* 6d and £15 18b. Consolation Handicap ; 50 bovb. The Brewer 1 Quibble ... 2 K'mberley .".. ... ... 3 Won by a neok. Dividends— £7 Hi 6d and £9 sa.

TELEGRAPHIC NEWS.

BRITISH AND FOREIGN.

(Prx Pkebß Ahsooiation.J ;: •

GERMAN BLOCKADE.

Zanzibar, November 29. The Germans have commenced a blockade by bombarding Linde, on the southern coast.

NATIONALIST LECTURERS.

Londov, November 30. Sir T. Esmonde, M.P. for Dublin, South, and J. Deasy, M.P. for Mayo; leave for Australia on the 19th on a lecturing tour in aid of the Nationalist cause. They will call at the Cape by the way. •

LORD SBLISBURY.

Speaking at Edinburgh to-day, the Marquis of Salisbury denounced in strong terms the maudlin sympathy expressed towards political offenders. Referring to woman suffrage, his Lordship said personally he was favor able to its being granted.

THE BREACH OF PROMISE CASE.

The plaintiff in the breach of promise case against Walpole refused to answer questions relating to the birth of the child, and created a scene in Court. The Judge directed a. verdict to be found for the defendant, notwithstand ing which the jury returned a verdict in favor of the plaintiff. A new trial was applied for. .

AFFAIRS AT SUAKIM.

London, December 1. In the House of Commons Sir Jas. Ferguson, Political Secretary to the Foreign Office* stated that the troops at Suakim were acting simply on the defensive. From his seat in the House of .Common&_XLqrn__Randolph ChurchiU protested against TEe~~ despatch- of British troops to Suakim, and also against Great Britain meddling in Soudan affairs. Mr J. Motley's motion condemning theaction of the Government in con nection with Suakim was, on a division, negatived by 35.

THE BOULANGER SCANDAL.

Madame Boulanger has retired into a convent. Her husband is seeking to compel her to acquiesce in a divorce.

THE CHINESE QUESTION.

Baron de Worms, Political Under secretary to the Colonial Office, states that the Chinese Exclusion Act passed by the New South Wales and New Zea land Parliaments would be allowed to come into operation, as they apparently do not run counter to existing treaties between England and China. He adds that parleying on the question of Chinese introduction ioto Australia still continues between Sir John Walsharo, the British Minister at Pskin, and the Chinese. Government.

GERMAN NEW GUINEA.

Monioh, December 1* One of the local papers asserts that the German New Guinea Company are in trouble owing to mismanagement, and they have offered their territory in the Island to the German Government for four million marks.

BRIDGE ACROSS THE DANUBE.

St. Pjsteejsbubq, December 'l. The Russian Government are pre paring to build a bridge across the River Danube.

GOVERNMENT OF INDIA.

Calcutta, December 1. Lard Dufferin, the Viceroy, address ing a meeting here to-day, deprecated autocracy in India, and said the question of elective Government was premature: He advocated the increase of natives in tfie public service^ ;

AUSTRALIAN.

(PBR PRIBS ASSOCIATION.)

VICTORIA.

Melkoubnb, December 1. Three specimens of gold, valued at were stolen /rom the New Zealand Court, at the Exhibition, during yester day.

NEW SOUTH WALES.

Sydney, December I* The Legislative Assembly sat all night discussing Mr G. R. Dibb's motion, that the Financial Statement be referred back to the Government. Ultimately the motion was negatived by 42 to 18.

TASMANIA.

Hobart, December 1. A destructive five broke oxfi \a Latrobe street last night, ar^d before the brfgade mastered, the iJames seven business houses were destroyed. The damage is estimated at The New Zealand Insurance Company have & line of on the destroyed pro perty.

THE MUDDLEMENT OF SCHOOL BOY BRAINS.

«. GEMS OF UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR. The Lrndon correspondent of the " Duaodin Star " sends the following amusing letter to that journal : — One of thcß<* raro literary .genriß of V parr. at ray sereao" which ocoaaionally lark within the jmproaiitiim! covers of a ' Blue 800k 1 ban been exhumed by an enterprising c jq tribnto? «o .the «' Standard . from the 6nuu.l reporl of e3uo*»ion in Scotland. It con.-fcta of a scries r.f choice epec'mens culled him thp_ wild Answers of hard pressed pu^ila, amlJa. >n parts inexpreß-, eibly funoy. In definition (says the dis coverer of this o'd r ffiolal report) and In grammar t.'ene?'!'y tho nitiv). talent of the pupil for absurdity appe'.ra most brll llen'ly; " Blackguard — one who has been a hhooblack' 1 has a tpuob of genla* about it which slni'Hit reminds as of Johnson's definition of » lexicographer and an ex ciseman, thoa«h the perplexed tximineo Is about tha lest person in the world not to bo depperstelv in earnest. Compared with th-e, foe dtfinltlon of a " blackguard" as being a" man dressed in black " or " a polioeman." is poor, Bat it is Impossible not to suspect the pnpil of risking a bit of humor when he defines a '< vilhn" as " an Innkeeper " or " an ngly person, from vile." To affirm that the adjective " polite "h dirlved frota " Pole," owing to the affiblllty of the Polish raoe, is not much worse than some etymologies which we have seen iu more pretentious .places ; and there la something worthy of Home Tooke In deriving « charity " from "chair, whence the Queen, doleth out. gifts." 11 Heathen, from Latin « rsefcbum ' (faith) and ' en* (not)," is really fiuo ; ihongh it la, in its way, run close by the answer to the effect that " heathen " means "covered with heath." Compared with this, to connect the Aryans with Arias is oommonplace. POZZLUB OP GSOMBTBY. The seeker after amusement fares ln dltferently well when he oomea to the mathematical papers. " A straight line," it 13 'he optoton of one youth, '• Is one which lies In the same regular length from point to point." " A superficies," remarked Another papil with his b»ok to the wall, "la the poiut tnken between any two straight lines." Compared with the definition of a circle as " t figure bounded by a straight line," or the de monstration, " since the whole are equal, the part mast be equal," the characterisa tion of "an Isosceles triangle " as one 11 having two. opposite sides to one another" is hlnap'y a pleoe of doltish stupidity. In reality, It Is impossible to read thes9, and a host of simitar blunders, j without a certain degree of pity. They display some shocking bad teaching, In addition to some egieglously bad learning. NEW VIeWiN SACKED HISTORY. The narrative of Jonah and "that whale who was almost persuaded to be a Christian " is pifafolly good. But it Is not equal to the biography of the same Patriarch compiled by a board-school boy competing for one of the Peek prizes. " He was the father of Lot, and had two wires . One was called Ishmale, and the other Hugher j he kept one at home, and he turned the other into the dessert, when she became a pillow of salt In the day time and a pillow of fire at night." The following is almost equally impressive : " Mosses was an Egyptian. Ha lived in an ark made of bullrushes, and he kept a golden oalf and worshipped brazen snakes, and et nothing but kwales and manna for forty years. J3e was oaught by the hair of his- head while. riding under the bough of a tree, and he was killed by his son Absalom aa he was hanging ftom the bough." LITERARY HISTORY. To attribute ' Guy Mannering' and •Pevarll of the Peak* to Lord Beaoone field, and « Don Juan' to Miss Braddon, are comparatively venial blunder? ; and to ascribe the « Sanda of Dae' to Mti Hemanß betrays a certain critical faoulty, divorced from knowledge of literary history, whioh Is lacking In the loyal desperado who ven torea to oredlt Prince Leopold with its authorship. BY-WAYS OS 1 GEOGRAPHY. It would be diffioult to equal the follow- Ing explanation of the seasons written down by a London Sohool Board pupil no later than four years ago. "The sun goes round On its axis. The earth's axis Is a pole put through the centre of the eun, which turns It round, and thus we get the aeaaons ;" or, 11 the Equator Is aline running through the centre of the earth. At one end la the Tropic of Cancer , at the other, the Tropic of Capricorn ;" or, " the Nile is thd only remarkable river In the world, It was discovered by Df Ltvlngatone. and it rises in Mungo Park." "The Boers are the wild people of the Oape Colony " Is not bad j though It Is far In the rear of that despatoh (from Downing street) which suggested that the ohaplaln at Port EUz*beth mjflht do duty »t Pletermwita burg on the same day; or tha reported opinion of ai Admiralty clerk to tho effect that Potohefatroom might be at tacked from sea. There is only a i trifling mix up of Id j»s In the mind of the boy wba makes Gibraltar " an island built on a rook " and •« discovered In 1704 by 8> G Kooke." The following description of Constantinople, if lacking something In accuracy, la notable for its splendid com prehensiveness :—" It 1 8 on the Golden! Horn j a strong fortress ; has a university and is the residence of Peter the Great Its ohlef building is the Sublime Port." . HISTORICAL BBVJBL ATJONS. Oliver. Cromwell is always a favorite perqonage with unfortunate examinees. The following, whioh some yeara ago went the rounds, Is perhaps as choioe as »ny of the many answers touohlng his blsory whioh have been presented to Bxamineea •— «« Oliver Cromwell la arid to have exclaimed, when be out off King I Charles head and got the throne, « If I had sarved nay God as I served my Klati He would not have left me to mine snemiea.' Also that the word • Charles ' would be found on heart." '«Ocom irell'i eyes," we are told, " were keen and ?rey ; but he \ras a God fearing man"— the Lord PeOteotdr's pious disposition being evidently, in the mind of. the lad, a set eff against the color of hid eyes. Another pupil— and it ought to be re marked that these " mangle* flowera of rhetoric and poetry," as Inspector Bath gate styles them, are not the work of the ordinary aohoolhoy, bqt of students from the training colleges for teaohero—avers that the same ruler had "a head too ble for Lis body ;" but, he adds, "he ruled hia army well. " This Information was not In accurate, though somewhat beside, tb* mark— like that of the lad who, as the sum total of hia acquaintance with the history of Nelßon remarks that he "was buried in St Paul's Cathedral, amid the groans of a dying nation." One more specimen of tbe endless examples of " blunders " by daaed or deßper&te examinees, take,n from wme given by candidates for admission to a training college, will serve to show what oramming, confu^on, and an incapacity tp bflDg ordinary intelligence to bear upon the oontenta of books oan accomplish "The Spanish Armada," wrote a young man of seventeen; "took place in the I reign of Queen Anne, She married Philip of Spain, who wag a very cruel man . The Spanish and the English fought very bravely against oach other. The English wanted, to oonquet Spain. Several bats lea were fought, fa which hundreds of the JgoKlißh and Spanish were defeated; .They lost eome very large abips, and were at a great loss on. both aides." The ■cholar who told his tormentors that " the. 8«?;o^s retired to reft in tho time of the Heptvchy in a Btate of nudity, and laid upon a bed of atraw^-they was w> eminently Bociaj <'— w«a a lad Oeaimed for loafer tfajng^

*

AUCKLAND LARRIKINS

The Auckland correspondent of the " Otffgo Daily Times," writes as follows : —The benoh is in despair what to do with our larrikins. Some pupils in Wellesley Btree 4 ; ifcet Pablio Bobool got into the building oa SaturJay aftarnoon by the wlndowa, cleaned out the fl ; l of the head teachar (iVIr Worthlngton), smoked his olgars, used one of the schoolrooms as a lavatory, etc., then took the Works of a olock, value £6, and planted them in a hoU In the allotment. They spent most of the money in meat pies and toys, and divldsd tha balance, having a real good time of it. Sunday afternoon they re« turtod to the sohool, took a book, i» oo»t," ruome Bohool requlaltea, aod then, jr(fa'Tiß by their conduct, accepted in all Vcifogi; ness the resent ntteraaoesof the oh& ifem of the Board of Bduoation respeoung Suaday observance and the rules of 'avra tennis and orlcket on Sunday, for they took the crioketing msterial out of the school and went out to a place adj -bant to the building, the bowling green, where they bad a quiet game 61 Sunday orloket. returning the bas and stumps te the aohoolin the eveniag, but retaining the other property The ages of the parly ranged from four to eight years. They have' been taken Into custody by the police, barrlag the four-year-old, and released on a bond of £10 by their parents to oome and report ai the Polloa Court to.moirow. .

A QUICK CALCULATOR.

B. Flelda; a most extraordinary Indlvl anal, has returned to hii Kentucky home ■ a?ter absence in the west. Fields is known far and wide as the Mathematical; Prodigy. Perfeotly illiterate, not being able to toll one letter or figure from, another, he bears the iame relation to the -' ■olenoe of mathematics that Blind Ton* does to marlo. Field la now about 23 vesrs of age, and hit ability to qulokly and correctly solve tbe moat difficult problem wa* discovered when h<* wa*B yean old. The faculty continaed to develop until he Is able to solve with amazing rapidity any probhta In staple or oompoaod fraettona, or anything in th« higb.ee branch, of mathematlbt. For Instance, the moon it a oerUln number of miles from tbe earth ; a grain of oorn la bo long ! how many grains will It take to oonneot the points? The answer to this or any other problem cornea ''like a flash. He cau also tell to a'seoond the time of day or eight. This, marvellous man has been tested bjr the most expert mathematicians, and bU answers to problems have, been found invariably correot. He claims that hfa power la a direct gift from the Creator, and liable to be taken away if not properly, need, The posasessor of tbis gift nevei went to school a day in his life, and novae aid a day's work, exoapt to occasionally aid merchants in lnvoiolog their goodsy and in this business he has been knowa to keep a soore or more of clerks bu*y footing up oolumns of figures. He is * very large man, and has a> look the severs* of intelligent. Having no oooupttlon, he • lives amongst His acquaintance, putting np wherever night overtakes him. He/a very proud of his gift, and frequently compares himself to Samson. Field gave au exhibition of his powers before Governor Orltteriden, and other distin guished men of Missouri on a late visit West, and they consider him one of the greateßt wonders of the country .—. Knowledge.

A NEW WRITING APPARATUS

A Home panee rtaW Professor Elisha Gray of Highland "Park, Illinois, by the invention of th.e new apparatus to which he has given the name. of the telautograph , has gone a long way towards, dispTacine the telephone By means of thia inatruV meat a person may ait down in his omoe. take a pencil in hia hand, write a message, aDd aa the pencil moveß, a pencil in bis correspondent's Office will move aimuL taneously and form the same letters and words in the game way. What is written ' in one place is instantly reproduced else hero. . A Q y language may be employed. Ihe writer may me shorthand, he may write by code or in cypher ; it doei not matter, a fao-simile is reproduced. If a picture is to be •• wired" it is the same—a perfect copy appears at the other end of the wire. The artist of a : illus- '" trated paper may, by means of the telautograph, tansmit hia picture of a railway smash or any other event just as easily and as rapidly as a reporter telegraphs his description In words Tat two pencils move synchronously, and it is stated to be jast as easy to work a circuit of 500 miles as one of 10 miles. Ihft telautograph will supplant the. telephone, for many purposei, as it has marked advantages over It. It will be noiseless* less affected by induction, and no inig. understanding «an result The mode of working the telautograph is as follows :—• When one person wishes to oonunonicat* ■ with another by the telautograph, he> pushes a button, which rings an annun. ciator at the exchange, or in the office of the person with whom he wishes to hold written intercourse. Then the first party ~ takes his writing pencil, or pen, from its holder and writes his meißage upom a coil of paper. Aa he writes, so writes the penoil at the other end of the win. In. writing, the penoilor pea is attached to>~ two Bmail wires, and these wires reguUta the ourrents which controlthe peacii af the other end of the wire. Bet these wires give no trouble, and aaa oan write with as muoh facility iai; If they were. absent. The telautograph is stated to work much more petfeoUy than thi - telephone, •■ !"

WHOLESALE CAPIUEE OF SLAVERS

I '■■ ■ '■» ■• •- _,; ■:■=•■•;..■- '-. ' Letters reoelvod from Aden ooniafa ■ particulars of an exoltlng. ohase ml tar slave 1 dhows whtoh occurred a few weeks since ■ on the Bast ladNs station. H.M.S, i Oiprey, Commander Bi, Gluing, has bean nerving on the Bast Indies station for several years, and was reoommlMlonei at Bombay la Aptll, 1886. Qa the. 16th : September, while on a orulae, tha Ospre* • lighted Mooha, and boarded a, small dhow ' > that had been Bent from Asaab Bay b» i the Itallam, to Mooh» % fos fruit. Sha > then stood up the ooait to the north nntll aboat nine oVlobk ftt nlghV whea she turned round and oame down ilbwly at «( distance of nboat olgbk m |)e« fronv the land. At daybreak on the following (Sunday) morning tha O^prey atghted 'three dhows ahea.d, and immediately Wenk in pursuit of them. On getting withlo range a gun was fired from the sloop aa a nlgnal to tha dhows to stop and submit to examination. No notice, however, waj. taken of this ; bat the dhowe, instead orowded on more sail and endeavored to escape. A well-aimed shot at tha matt of tho largest of the three dbows speedily • brought her up, but by thlatime the two i other dhows wera oaatly ■ a mile ahead * and widely sepcwted, so that the captnro of both wai by no means e»iy. But •> f6rtu,n.ate shot through the sail of tha i nearest resulted la her soon being made a prisoner, and then the Osprey went lo pursuit of tha third dhow, and eventually captured har. Taking the last two in tow, her Majesty's sloop steamed baok to the first of the dhows, and, on searoh being made, ft was found that the three dhows contained over two hundred slaves, male and female in nearly equal proper! tlona, and by fat the larger propQjtloni qbioy Ohriatlana from AbytsiaU* Thei p)lz9S wera towed to Aden, where tha vessels were condemned And the slaves: | were uken charge o£ ty th» mtbotUUil

THE ASHBUBTON OUARDI AN; MONDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1888



DIARY. Moon'* December Sun Snn Vloon Moon ago a Rises Sets. Rises Sets, noon; a.m. p.m. 3 Monday .. 4.17 7.23 4/) 6.52 29 4 Tuesday .. 4.16 7.24 4.48 8.8 0 5 Wednesday.. 4.16 7.25 5.43 9.19 1 6 Thursday .. 4.16 7.26 6.47 1021 2 7 Friday .. .. 4.16 7.27 7.52 11.14 3 8 Saturday ... 4.16 7.28 9.4 11.52 4 9 Sunday .. 4.15 7.29 10.13 . * • 5 t Moonlight Evenings. 1 Tbe Moon at 3 days old Bhines till about 8 o'olook. The Mood at 6 days old shines till about half-past 10 o'olook. The Moon at 8 days old Bhinoß till naarly o'olook in the morning. The Moon at 12 days old shines from ' sundown till about 4 in the morning. The Moon at 15 days old is full, and shines all night. The Moon at 18 days old rises about 9 p.m. and shines till morning, The Moon at 21 days old rises about 11 a.m. and shineß till morning. Tbe Moon at 24 days old rises about 2 a.m. and shines' 11 morning The Moon at 27 days old rises about 4 a.m. and shineß till sunrißO. — — ■ wmmmmnmmmm^mmmmmmt % THE ASHBUBTON GUARDIAN. From and after the 30th November, 1886, the terms of Subscription to this journal will t be as follows, viz. : — xr paid in advanck Per Quarter.. 6s 6d by post, 6d Half-year 12s 6d, by poet, 18s 6d {(Year .. 24s Od, by post, 37s Od IT BOOKED PerJQuarter. . 7s 6d, by poßt, 10s 9d j „ Half-year 15s Od, by post, 21s 6d „ -Year .. 80s Od, by post, 43s Od Birth, Marriage, and Death Notices, if paid for at the ime of insertion 2s 6d eaoh {stamps may sent as payment) if booked, 4s eaoh. Announcements of Births, Deaths and Marriages sent for publication " from the country distriots require to be verified by the signature of the oerson sending the notioe i



"BtrcHA-PAIBA." Quick, complete cure, all annoying kidney, bladder, and uri»ary, diseases. At chemists and 'druggists. Kemp- thorne, Proswr, and' Co., agents, Christ- ckurch. 1 «• Rough on RATs."~Clears out rats, »ice, roaches, ties, ants, bed-bugs, beetles^ insects,' skunks, jjack-rabbits, spanows, gophers. : At



Statutory Deolaration.-I, Franz Baabe, Ironbark, Sandhurst, in the oolony of Viotoria, Australia, do solemnly and sinoerely deolart that on the 25th June, 1877, iny son Alfred, six years of age, was aooidentally hurt with an axe on his knee. lat onoe took all pains to secure medical assistance. However, in spite of all efforts, on the 27th August, 1877, the opinion was given by Dr Maogillivray. that an amputation of the injured limb' had become iropefatije in order i& s^e life. At this juncture J called on Messrs Sander and Sons, proouring tome of their Extraot of the Eucalyptus Globulus, and by th« application of the same I had the satisfaction of seting my son within a fortnight out of all danger, and to-day he is reeorered. I may just add th " l F. w £ when tlla oriaiß h * d bMn waeh«d .that the Bxtraot referred to was first applitd. aftd I mak« this solemn deelaration. •to.— DtolMad *t Sandhurst, in the eolony of Victoria, Australia, this Wt enteenth day of Ootober, phe thoasUnd eight hundred ffij ee^nty-seTflh before d4b, Moritz tk>hq f



Wanted WANTED a boy about 14 years of Age, for the maohine room. Apply Mail Office. PLOUGH Teams wanted ct W«eter- field. Apply at once, " 12 19 \\7 ANTED Known— Davit' Toy and \y Finoy Bfrziar, Tanored Striet, opposite Union Bank, is now open. Ad- mission Free. Inspection invited, 12+13 Tin" ANTED Known — Mrs Mbrch, T» Drsfßmaker, has roturned f'Om Sydnoy, nnd re-commenced business in Faunders 1 Buildings, next Mr R, Alcorn's. IP 78 , WANTED Known. — That Miss Edwabds, Tailoress, is prepared to make BoyB 1 Clothing, *Ibo Cuffing, Strap piDg, repairs and alterations, &o — Miss iJDWARDs, oorner Mooro street and B'At. 11 10P MRS ADAMS baß removed to Sunn- darn' Buildings, oppoaito Rtilwy Station. Crewel Silks, Wools, and Fanoy Goods of every description kept in stock. Agent for Eolipsa Dye Works. Registry office for Servants. 10 82 "TT/ ANTEP Known — J. Obr ±vp Co VV are now showing Ladies'. and Children's Artistio Millinery in Great Variety. SHEEP SBE ABS, 11 A's, BB A's, and BBaMZ'b; and gennlne Turkey Stonei. — Robsbt Alcobn, Saunders BnUdlpgs. WANTED everyone to know that J. C. Duncan is a Land Broker, lioenaed to prepare, and register Transfers, Mortgage^ EnoaxbraDcesf, Leases, Regifif' tration Abstracts, Powers of Attorney, Applications to bring Land under the Act, ana every description of instruments undor the Land Transfer Aot. — J. O. Duncan, Aroade, Ashbnrton. 10J10] FOR gennlne Aehburton Tweed Suits read? made, or to measure, fit and quality guaranteed, and at prices nn- equalled, go to R. Aicobit, Ashburton Clothing Mart, Saunders' Hulldings. WANTED Known.— J.-Obb and Co invite Lao iee to inspect their large and varied assortment of Summer Dress Materials. Over one thousand pieces to select from. ANTED Knowo— That Mrs Bill, Monthly Nuree, has removed from Peter Street to Dr Trevor's house, In Mooro Bfcreet. 10t39 WANTED Known.— J. Obb and Co are now ehowiDg a large assort- ment of Ladies' Embroidered Robes from 10b 6d. WANTED Known— That S. W. Alcobk AND Co, are selling at Warehouse price, a splendid lot of Lidie* Silk and Cashmere Mantles, and Satin and Fanoy Sunshades, booght a bargain. No Talaa like them In Ashburton, STOCKINGS— 700 pairs of Ladies and Children's sample Hose just opened (landed under the old Tariff.) AH quality to be sold cheap during our sale. — EL. C. Seobbs, Melford House ANTfiD Known — J. Obb and Co are now showing a Large Assortment of Feathers, Flowers, Ribbons Laces Glovew, &c. 10U02 WANTED Known— We ere now showing a splendid assortment of Summer Millinery and Drapery, at very low prices. — H. 0. Seokrs, Molford Honse. GLASGOW DRAPERY and CLOTHING COMPANY. Hun- dreds of remnants of all kinds. WANTED Knnwn. — J Own *nd. Co's Drapery DepErtroent is under new management. Prices of the Whole Stock have been revised and reduced to such a point as will command a speedy sale. WANTED More Known— That S. W; Alcobn and Co. is the cheapest House in Ashburton. Gieat variety of Dress materials; Priuts and Fanoy Gala'.eas to ohoose from. 11 159 WANTED Known— We are now showing a grand assortment of Trimmed and Untrlmmed Hats nnd Bonnets. The largest Stock to ohoose from in town, and tbo cheapest house. — B. C. Seoebs, Melford House. WANTED Known.— J. Obb and Co are now ehowiog the Leading Novelties in Ladies' Mantles, Jackets, and Dust Cloaks. WANTED KNOWN— That I have appointed Mbs Adams sole agent i in Aebburton for the Eclipße Dye Works, Ghrislchurch. Ladies dreeseß and gentle- I men's clothes cleaned or dyed, beal Skins, Gloves and Feathers, Silks, Damask Curtains, Tab/e Covers, Sashes Cleaned oj Djed, etc., end all kinds of animal skins dretße»l ant 7 made up to order. — A. J. Chapman, 161 Armagh street, Christ- church 130 Summer 1888. JjA|TEST 117 ALL DEPARTMENTS, . ffO^.ON YIEW AX THBl' J NEW ZEALAND OLOTBING FACTORY. - • . Everything New. New Shirts. New Underclothing, New Ties, Few Hati, New Suits for Boys, New Sulta for Mod, Everything Hew- - | . and of the LATEST FASHIONS. See oar Windows, and judge for yourselves SPECIAL. Suits made to mensuro in good style and from the newest checks and stripes from £2 16s. ENCOURAGE LOCAL INDUSTRY ANB BUYgFBOM TH« New ZealandiHMbiDg Factory. W, H, WEBBER,



Public Notices. VISITORS TO MELBOURNE^ Bhould Consult the y^^riA Well-known and Suo- JXBfamWSBB&r add Chronic Complaints. ■ Kgjji^ TSXS CONSULTATION. W^ S3 Flinders St. W. t Melbourne. Rink de Paris, THE OLOSSS OP" THE BINKING SEASON vill be celebrated by A GKAED FANCY DRESS AND MASQUERADE CAVKNIVAL ©H WBDNBSDAY, DECEMBER sth. Lactiet and Gentlemen on entering most raise their mwk« if requested by the Committee of Management, so that all objectionable Psreons may be excluded. Admission— Stage, 1* ; Drees Circle, 2s. Doors open at 7 30 ; commence at - - 8 o'clook, R, ELSTON, \ Lessee and Manager. QUOD FAOIBITJ3 VaLDB FA.OIMUS , {" What we do we do well.") TtIKOHRISTOHUROH DENTAL BUBGJEar, ■ 168 Cashel Street, Chrißtchmch, next Bobin- son's Boot Store, and at the Octagon, Dnnedin. All operations at strictly uniform and moderate Fees. Contnltation free. 8. MYERS~AND CO., BXJBOEON DENTISTS. TtETH S5 WJTM TEETH NITROtJ t OXIDE GAB administered. Thi« Aceeathetio leaves eo nn pleasant- effects, and by its nee the ox«aractio-! of Ba<* Stumpo and Teeth 5b rendered perfectly Fainlesi aad Effective. Administered daily. Feo for ad- ministration of Uas, 6s- Extraction. 2s 6d a tooth. Honrs of attendance, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Private residence, 93 East Belt. The acknowledged superiority cf AMERI- CAN DENTISTBy in the conEtrnction of Artificial Teeth, the moat finished workman- ship, and replacing the lost teeth T.SM. J-OBABILY ALMOST IMMBDIATPLT after extraction, have established onr repntatiov. A single Arti6cial Tooth, 10a , complete set, Upper and Lower. Temporary and Permanent, £10 10a ; irMficial Teeth n.nd Dentnres made by other denti-tn remodelled t small cost. BtODDing, Scaling. Feriect and Painlo-a. - The Miners 1 Strike NEWCASTLE, N.S.W., H\S already proved to be a, good thing fnr Wew Zealand. The. Inoreaseo OOtpat nf nil the miue* in New Zealand bu neo.'Biitated the pmplojment of large fiumbsrvcf man iaadditloo to the regular Itaff kept by proprietors of mines. Keep yonr money in New Zaaland, and help to make employment for the popols- tlon . Born Mount Someis and Weatport Goal. I have made fresh arrangements for the supply of theie two O?»!», and can now sell at Reduced Bates for OASH on delivery* Mount Som*2b Coal. Wistfort Coal Per ton, 22a 6d 45) Half ton, 11s 6d 23s Quarter ton, 6a l?a Booking Extra, Mount Sonasra Coal per Troet load, In Tracks 17s 6d per ton Cash at Ashburton BUtlon. NEWCASTLE OOAL~ALSO IN STOCK JOIN G.~BESTELL T. Bullock TO LET— S roomed house in Cameron Street.-— A.pply to T. BULLOOK. X?1 Q. FOR SALB » T - 8 « 1166 » fronting 30 XO ' Cameron Street, price as above. Terms can be arranged if required. Apply to T. BULLOOK. TO LET— A 5-roomed Honse in Cox Stveet. — Apply to T. BULLOCK. TO .LET. ROOMS In the Arcade Chamber*. Apply to T: BULLOCK TO LET. HOUSE of 5 Rooms, together with about 9 Acres of Grass Land j rental 10s 6d por week. Apply to T. BULLOCK. FOB SALE. T* IGHT Spring Dray (new) made in XJ such i way that it could be used as a tip cart Apply to T. BULLOCK. FOR SALE] ""* 1 (\(\ AOREB fronting the Main Boath XUU Road, not far from the JRaoe- eouree. Apply to T. BULLOOK J7OR SALE.— Loti 67 »nd 74 Low price wiil be accepted. Apply to x T. BULLOOK. REAPERS AND BINDERB FOR SALE. O MeOOBMIOK WIRE BINDERS C\ MoCORMrOK TWINE BrNDERS -I S4MUELBON TWINE BINDER ■J HORNSBT TWINE BINDER T. BU LOCK i