SHIPPING.

PORT OP LYTTELTON. Arrived. Saturday. Oreti, s,a., from Oamaru and Dunedin. Amaranth, schooner, from Timaru. Pleiades, ship, from London. Sailed. Saturday. Oreti, s.a, for Wellington. Richard and Mary, schooner, for Qamaru. SHIPPING TELEGRAMS. - Auckland, Saturday. Arrived —Ovalau, schooner, from Raro tongic- Wanganui, for London of gum, wool, and gold, valued at L 74,000.

MAIL NOTICES.

Mails, .close at the Chief Post Office, dmstchurch, for the following places (subject,,, tp necessary, alterations) as under:— - per Hawea, at 11.15 a.m.; late fee letters, 11.30 a.m.; guard’s van, •12 noon train. Y.- HT • Tosspay, January 18. xlfoc fQtago/and Australian Colonies, via thp.Rlpff, per Rotomahana, at 1.40 p.m. ; late fee letters at 2 p.m.:‘guard's van, 2.30 pm. train. ; Northern. Ports, per Hawea, at I_4£L p.m. ; late fee. letters, at 2 p.m. ; guard’s van, 2.30 p.m. train. Wednesday, January 19. For Otago and Australian Colonies, per express train (to connect with the s.s. Rotomahana, ; at the Bluff), at 7 a.m. Late fee letters may be posted in the travelling post office van attached to the express train. Saturday, January 29. _ ;Fqy United Kingdom, via San Fran cisco* ppr Hawea. : Mails close at the Ashburton Post Office, as follows: — For Christchurch and North at 5.30 a. m. 10 a.m., and 5 p.m., daily. For Chertsey Rakaia, &c., at 10 a.m. and S' : p.m". daily. ; For Dunedin, Tinwald, Winslow, Hinds, Coldstream, Rangitata, Grari, Winchester, and Geraldine, at 10 a.m. daily. For Temuka, at- 6 a.m. and 10 a.m., daily.,. For Tiinarii arid South, at 6 a.Da., 10 a.m., and 4.20 p. m., daily. For ' Greenstreet, Ashburton Forks, Mount, Somers,, and Ashburton Gorge, on Tuesdays' and Fridays, at 10.30 a m. For Ashton, Waterton and Longbeach, at 4.30 p.m. daily. For Wakanui, Elgin, Seafield, New land,‘ ahd:Kyle, bn Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, at 6 a.m. Mails arrive at the Ashburton Post Office — From Christchurch and Rakaia at 10.26 a.m., 4.35 p.m., and 7.50 p.m. From Chertsey, &c. at 10.25 a.m. daily. From BtlnecHn and intermediate places at 5.35 daily. f ,:, 3fr»ffi~Temu"ka'and Timaru at 10.15 a.m. 5.35 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. daily. _ From Greenstreet, Ashburton Forks, Mount Somers,, and - Ashburton Gorge on Wednesdays and-Saturdays at 3 p.m. Froini Ashton, Waterton, and Long beach at 10 a.m, daily. From Elgin, Wakanui, Seafield, New laud, and Kyle, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, andjEaturdays, at-4 p. m. W. St. G. Douglas, Postmaster.

DAILY MEMORANDA.

-ni i ; AXJCTION SALES. „,[( . Tuesday, January 18. HoLcurfc IVYilkin and Co., Tinwald Yards— Horse'sahd Store Merino Ewes, i ; - TauBSDAY, January 20, QaOl' and. Co.—Special Sale, at their ; ; Rooms and Yards.; At 12 o’clock. [See „ advertisement on third page.] ’ ' * ’ Friday, January 21. Matson, Cox, and Co.—Horses, Wagons,' Buggy, Implements, Oats, Chaff, Wool press, Cheese, &c. Twelve o'clock sharp. MEETINGS, AMUSEMENTS, Ac. rf -- To-morrow, * ' k ‘ : Tuesday, January 18; Degree/iTenjple, Fortnightly Meeting, Templar Hall, at 8 p. m. Wednesday, January 19. Amateur Dramatic Club— Meeting of Members, in side room of the Town i Hall, atS.p.m. Ashbucto A Town Hall Company, Meeting Of Shareholders, Town Hall, at 8 p.m. Monday, January 24. Borough Council, at' Borough Council Chamber?, at 7 o’clock. • ■ Wednesday, February 2. County Council, at the County Council Chambers, at 11 o’clock.

TRAVELLERS’ GUIDE.

EA4ins Lbave Ashburton fob .. OHUEUR and intermediate stations at 6 v ja.pay 10,30 a.m., and (Express) 5.48 TRkrss LEAVE Ashburton yob Timaru and South, at 7 a.m., 10.36 a.m. (Ex nparess), and 4.50 p.m.—the latter pro ceeding no farther than Timaru. Ihi&idl Arrive- at : Ashburton from v CbxMtchubch at 10 24 aim. (Express), and 7.50 p.m. .Arrive at Ashburton from f ‘(iSMAjfc 'jcSd South at 10.15 a.m., 5.34: <; i pfnk' and 8.15 p. m.

NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS.

All orders for insertion of advertise ments "must be written legibly on the face of the advertisement. When no order is given the advertisement will be inserted until countermanded, and charged accord ingly- . All notices of Births, Marriages, or Deaths must bo accompanied by the sig nature of the sender, as a guarantee of good faith. , All advertisements and business letters to be addressed The Manager; literary communications .should be addressed to The Editor.

The Ashburton Guardian. MONDAY, JANUARY 17, 1881. Free Education v. Untaxed Beer.

TOWN EDITION [Issued at 5 p. m. J .

In a recent issue of the Neiv Zealand Times , a paper published in Wellington, it was hinted that one of the “ events” of the next session of Parliament would be the withdrawal of the beer tax and the imposition of school fees. The same paper further indicated that the powerful class interested in the question of beer would leave no stone unturned to have the beer tax repealed, whether the school fees were re-irnposed or ,not. Taken stands, and only in its. own light, the rumor might have very safely been set down as one of the many gossiping speculations that arise during the recess, and which have no founda tion whatever beyond some idle con versation amongst certain politicians who are always discovering some new way of governing the-- country. But color is given to the rumor by the fact that,, since it gained currency, Mr. Rol leston has been relieved of his port folio as Minister of Education, and has been replaced by the Colonial Secretary. Mr. Rolleston is a politician prepared, we believe, to nail his colors to the mast on the question of the present educational system of the colony, and quidnuncs hint that he has been re lieved of his portfolio so that he may be out of the battle brunt when the proposal is made to re-impose the school fees, which imposition would go so terribly against his grain. In con nection with the question of education, the fact cannot be gainsaid, because it is so patent, that the cost of teaching the young of the colony is painfully large; and every year adds to its magni tude. At present the expenditure on education is within a short cooey of half a million sterling, with a forecast of a steady increase in the future. No matter .whether the money to meet this expenditure is paid out of Consolidated revenue, or a local rate is struck to meet it, or school fees imposed, the money has to be paid by the public. It is so paid now, and comparatively speaking the taxpayer does not feel the payment very much; but the day is not far distant, when, to keep the educational system of the colony up to its present standard, with the steady increase of outlay that that entails, a levy heavier thrn ever must be made upon the public purse. Most of the colonists expect this call sooner or later, and as they every now and then hear of a new school being erected, with a schoolmaster’s house, in some out-of the-way place, and another Li,ooo ex penditure incurred in consequence, with an ahnual Laoo or so of a fresh burden laid • on thereby, they set down the time as so much the nearer when the colony must be called upon to do some thing in the matter of finding more funds for educational expenditure. Every member of Parliament who has ad dressed his constituents in the recess has played the part of. a stormy petrel in regard to the demand : that must come upon the taxpayers for more money, if the present undoubtedly costly system of education is to be maintained. That it is costly no one will deny, and there are many schools in which education is dispensed at no less a figure than per head of the children taught. This must of course continue while population is so sparse and scattered, and while the colony adheres to its present way of doing educational work. But the rumor raised by the New Zealand Times in volves a question that all electors would do well to consider—viz., whether it is better to pay school fees or rates than a tax on beer. The rumor may be a piece of blank cartridge only, with nothing in it; or it may be, after all, an echo of* what is really intended on the part of those who view the beer tax with horror and abomina tion. If there is any real intention to fight out the battle, then we are bound to hope that it will be won by the patriots who advocate the spread of education as against the nurture of the beer industry. The imposition of the beer tax was bitterly opposed at its first imposition, and. there can be no doubt that if the idea of repealing it is again mentioned in Parliament it will; be heMillV Supiidried by’those who op-i

posed its impositions and nothing will be left undone to bring about the old state of things. It may be necessary to return to school rates or school charges, and if it is necessary < o do so, by all means let us so return ; but kf it never be said that we sacrificed our ' ree system of education to admit of lighten ing the tax on beer, and at the bidding of the brewing interest of the colony.

The San Francisco Mail.— The Fug lish mail via San Francisco may be ex pected in Ashburton by the express to morrow morning.

Death op an ex-Ohief Justice.— News was received by the mail of the death of Sir William Martin, late Chief Justice of New Zealand.

Amateur Dramatic Club. —A general meeting of the members of the Amateur Dramatic Club is to be held in the Town Hall side-room on Wednesday evening to consider important business.

RaM Fair —The annual Ram Fair in connection with the Canterbury Agricul tural and Pastoral Association has i>een fixed for the 24th and 25th March , in Christchurch.

Trotting. —7 In the trotting myteh which took place at Winslow on Saturday, Mr. Baring’s hiare, Dolly, won easily, doing the distance—four miles—ir, 51 minutes ; so we have been told by., those who took the time. There was consi ler able interest taken in the match. Doily’s opponent was Mr. Grice’s Donald. Apprehension. 'Yesterday a man named Patrick Douolly was apprehended in a tent in the river bed by one of our constables here. Donolly is accused,of having obtained the sum of Ll2O odd by false pretences from the Christchurch firm of Bruce ; and Co., and he was to-day sent to Christchurch to answer to the charge. Protection. —ln Protectionist Victoria tho duties levied on tools, implements, machines for the farm, outweigh all the advantages which the imposts on imported prodiico yield, and "there still remain the heavy sums each farmer has to pay for articles which-must bo considered neces sary, Through the fact that he is, a dweller in a land in which a Protective policy is in force.

Skinless Oats.— There were to-day displayed at Messrs. Sealy Bros’.- window : a few heads of skinless oats grown by Mr. James Brake, of Tai Tapu. Mr. Brake procured (he seed from Australia with a view to experimenting, and has found the oats a success. Sparrows are a great nuisance, however, in tho Tai Tapu, and he had to cut the oats somewhat green to save them from those pests, and this too early cutting prevented the oats from filling out as they certainly otherwise wduld have done. As it is the oats are a Very fair sample, and ought to make ex cellent jneal. There is a total absence of husk iu the sample shown by Messrs, Sealy, and when the head has been threshed the kernel of the oat is obtained without any skin whatever! We should fancy that the skinless cats would be an excellent sort to grow in this colony for export.'

The Native Minister. Saturday night’s Post says : various rumors which have found cur rency concerning Mr. Bryce’s resignation, and its probable sequel, we have the best authority for stating that the vacancy in the Cabinet will not be filled up until the majority of Ministers have re-assembled in Wellington. For the different guesses hazarded as to the new Native Minister there is no foundation whatever, and the matter has not yet come even indirectly under the consideration of the Govern ment. Indeed it will probably be safe to assume that nothing will be done in the affair before the close of the current month. Mr. Bryce retains charge of the department until the acceptance of his resignation has been notified, which is not expected to be earlier than the middle of next: week! Mr. Rolleston then relieves him and takes temporary charge.

Christchurch Corn Exchange.—A committee meeting was held at the rooms. Cashel street, on Saturday at two o’clock. Present—Messrs. Bruce (in the chair), Peryman, Leadley, Bailey, Gammack, Henderson, Woodman, King, Mcßeth, Higgins, Herrick, Mathias, Banks, and Patterson. Mr. Bruce said the business of the meeting was to elect a chairman, vice-chairman, and to appoint a secretary. Mr. Peryman proposed, and Mr. Header son seconded, that Mr. Bruce be elected chairman for the ensuing year. Carried unanimously. On the motion of Mr. Henderson, seconded by Mr. King, Mr. Peryman was elected vice-chairman. Mr. Banks proposed, and Mr. Peryman seconded —“That this meeting is of opinion that the constitution of the Corn Exchange should be re-modelled, particularly in the direction of in viting the more active co-operation of all persons interested in the production and disposal of grain and produce.” Car ried. It was resolved—“ That a sub committee, consisting of the chairman, vice-chairman, Messrs. King, Banks, Gammack, Bailey, Higgins, and Hender son, with power to add to their number, be requested to consider the whole subject of the foregoing resolution, and report to the general meeting of directors, to be called by the chairman for Saturday, the 22nd inst., at 2 o'clock.” The election of the secretary was postponed. The chair man, with Mr. Banks, were authorised to tender the use of the Corn Exchange rooms to the Waimakariri Board of Con servators, and the business of the meet ing then terminated. Rakaia Sunday School Annual Treat. —Saturday last was a red letter day at Rakaia, in connection with St. Mark’s Sunday School. The children assembled at the church at 3 p.m., where they were received by the Rov. W. H. Elton, Mr. R. Davies, and Mr. Cox. The children were formed in procession and marched from the church through Mackie street, Rolleston street, Railway terrace, and Cridland street to the parsonage. The procession was headed by a. large ’ banner bearing the words'- “ St. Mark’s Sunday School, Rakaia,” which was carried by two of the biggest boys of the school. The banner was the work of one of ’ the ladies of the district, and was very much ad mired. Two smaller banners, bearing one a St. Andrew’s Cross, and the other a St. George’s Cross, were carried by two of the biggest girls. A number a smaller flags were carried by the smaller children, and altogether they presented a very pleasing appearance. Arrived at the par sonage,, refreshments and sports were freely indulged in till the arrival of the ex press from the south, when a procession was. again, formed—which proceeded to meet the Bishop bn his way from the rail way station. The Bishop, accompanied by the Rev. W. Harris, was, on am /al at the parsonage, received by the Rev. Mr. Westbrooke, Presbyterian minister, Messrs. V. Pyke, J. Mann, R. Davies, and B. Winter. About dusk the children were assembled in the lawn in front of the house, where they sung Hymn 331, of Hymns'Ancient and Modern “ Wearebut little Children weak.” Cheers were then given for the Sunday School teachers Mrs. Cox, who .made the flags ; the visitors ; the Bishop, and Mr. Harris ; the. ladies who had sent provisions; the Queen; ourselves ; and the Rev. Mr. Elton and Mrs. Elton. The Sunday, School prizes were distributed by Mr. Harris, 1 who ac companied the distribution with suitable remarks. A: number of pa rents and friends of the children were present, and: contributed mnoh totfie success of the ’bbfcasion.*••'vqio-M ■

1.0. G T. —The Degree Temple meets on Tuesday evening at eight o’clock.

Government Land Sale. —The Com missioner of Crown Lands announces a sale of Government sections 1 in Rakaia, Ashburton, and elsewhere, which ;is to take place at Messrs. Davies and Winter’s Salerooms, Rakaia, on Tuesday, Bth Feb. next. Particulars are given in our adver tising columns, and sale-lists may be'sein at the Rakaia and Ashburton Railway Stations.

A Live Parcel. —An American paper says that a child eleven years old .was re cently sent as a parcel by rail from Kan sas, where her parents live, to Phila delphia, a distance of over 1,900 miles, and arrived quite safely at her destina tion. She had a ticket hung round her neck, and the railway authorities took and gave a receipt for her just as if she had been an ordinary express parcel.

Locally-made Twine. — A fact, shewing the saving that will he effected by the farmers who use locally-made twine-for their machines, has been reported to us, as follows :—A farmer at Tai Tapu, whose wheat crops averaged fifty bushels to the acre, used over 41bs. of imported twine, at a cost to him of Is. 3d. per lb. ; when the same amount of work can be done by locally-made twine, which can be supplied at 8d? per lb., and still leave a satisfactory profit for both theowner and the manu facturer. — Times.

A Broad Church. —According to the Newcastle Chronicle a new church has lately been established at Sunderland called the Frye-Association Church, and every molrib’er is 5 free to form his own creed. :l Indeed, the motto of .the society is this; : ‘ Free thought, free speech, free discussion and criticism, free determina tion and judgment, in all matters pertain ing to life and conduct.’ Churchmen, Baptists, Methodists, Secularists, Non descript—all unite to discuss religious questions" and participate in religious exercises.”

Terrible Affair. —A Now York, tele gram says :—Three weeks .ago Mrs. Mary Mayer, of 462, First street, .Teri'dy'City, died of typhoid fever; find Wnß ;i -ouried. The bodyappeared lifelike; andthffcheeks after death were; highly coloredvr “This preyed upon the mind of a daughter of the deceased to such a degree that she'catised the remains to be exhumed. It was ; then diacoverd that the woman had turned on her face in the coffin, ..and that in her struggles she had torn one ear almoat-off, :

Foreign Bounties.-— A large and en thusiastic-meeting-, to protest •against any further acquiescence by the British Go vernment in.the system of foreign, boun ties, either‘Upon" sugar, shipbuilding, or ship carrying, toot place at Liverpool on October 13. Several resolutions were passed calling for strong and organised re : sistance to the continuance of the fqrqign bounty system, and urging her Majesty’s Government to give, effect to the recom mendations of the recent Parliamentary Select Committee on the British sugar in dustries. :.

An Opinion Worth a Plum. —Among the lawyers whem Mr Ashmead Bartlett has consulted on the nationality question is Sir Travers Twiss. Sir Travers "is the greatest international lawyer of. our day. On most matters his opinion would be conclusive. On the question? r-ofdMr. Ashmead-Bartiett’s nationality his opinion is clear and decisive.. His. grandfather having been an Englishman, and be him self having never accepted the position of an alien, his father’s naturalisation in America does not in the slightest affect the son’s position-as a citizen by original right of England. He need not have'be come naturalised ; his deed of naturalisa tion was so much waste paper. He may become the husband of Baroness Burdett- Ooutts without her losing any money.

A Swarm of Bees.— The South Canter bury Times is responsible for the follow ing :—“ A son of Mr. W. G. Allen, of this town, was engaged the other day in the juvenile pastime of kite flying, when he was rather astonished at a sudden change in the appearance of the tail of his kite, the appendage becoming visibly en larged and of a densely black color. The youthful genius had read of Benjamin Franklin drawing lightning from the clouds, and, elated at the prospect of some wonderful scientific discovery, he pro ceeded to explore the phenomenon by drawing in his flyer. His amazement, if not disappointment, may be imagined when, on reaching the ground, ho found that a young hive of fugitive bees were clustered to the, apparatus. Bees, when swarming, select curious sites at times, but this is the first itfstance, so far as we are aware, of a hive swarming on the tail,of a kite in mid-air.”

A Facetious General. —lt is not com monly known that General Burrows, the Commander at Kushki-nakud, is , a humorist, but the Simla correspondent' of the Englishman tells the following story about his joking propensities :—“ You must know that in order to * intelligence ’ and ‘ survey ’ the country accurately, several cariiel loads of pencils and paper were sent up with. Burrows to the Hel mund. One day, on the retirement of the force for want of supplies, there were no rations at all for the troops ; so the General recognised the extreme gravity of the situation, assem bled them, made a speech, and then ordered each man to ■be supplied with a lead pencil and a sheet of paper. Ho said that, as General Primrose had dis appointed him in sending up the pro visions he had weeks before ordered for the troops, the pencils and paper were intended to enable them to draw their rations as usual.”

A Curious Funeral.—Tlie other day a funeral procession going through Mit cham, en route for the Lambeth Cemetery, consisted of a hearse and feathers drawn by four plumed horses, the corpse and coffin being borne on men’s shoulders im mediately behind, with flowers plentifully strewn on the coffin lid, two mourning coaches followed by a long string of vehicles of every conceivable description, from double chaises to donkey barrows, and every kind of truck and cart in use among the costermongers’ fraternity. The funeral was that of an old woman’named Hilliard, who kept a small fruit stall in Mitcham. The deceased had seen better times, and had hit upon a fancy to depart from this world in some grandeur. To accomplish her purpose she had joined several burial clubs, and hence the display. Some rare old china, which the deceased feared her relatives would quarrel over, was buried with her, and a curious ob servance of throwing the fruits of the earth after her into the grave in the form of apples, walnuts, &c., terminated the proceedings.

CABLE NEWS.

LATEST FROM EUROPE.

(Per Reuter's Agency.) Wheat Afloat. London, Jan. 14. The total quantity of wheat afloat for Great Britain is< 2,190,000 quarters. The Address in Reply. In the House of Commons to-day, Mr. Parnell’s amendment on the Address in Reply to the Queen’s Speech was put to a division, and was rejected by a large majority. The debate on the Address was resumed, but now stands further adjourned.

Further Fenian Raids. Further rumors of intended Fenian raids are gaining currency. It i f s now alleged that an attempt has been made .to destroy the amory at Salford, in Lan cashire, by the use of dynamite, but that the plot was discovered in time to prevent its success. ; . The Coalminers’ Strike London, Jan. 15. The strike of coalminers in Lanca shire is of a very serious character. Riots have occurred between the strikers and the police in different places. Nothing Daunted. Capetown, Jan. 14. News received to-day from the seat of hostilities in Basutoland shows that notwithstanding recent heavy losses the enemy continue to act on the offensive. The rebels recently made a strong attack on the position of the colonial troops at Masera and Leribe, but were repulsed with further loss.

AUSTRALIAN

(Pet Renter’s Agency.) The Hereford. Melbourne, Jan. 15. The wreck; of the ship Hereford, was sold to-day at auction for L 7,600. The Regatta. January 16. The Inter-cblomJ Yachting Regatta was held, yesterday in Port Phillip, and passed off successfully. There was a large attendance on the flag ship, and the weather was fine, ; with . a good breeze. ./The Grand Challenge. Race was over a forty-five mile course, and was won by, the Victorian .Yacht Janet,, which came in a minute ahead of the Auckland vessel Taniwha, followed by the Secret of Sydney* which took second place on her time allowance. All the Yachts sailed well, and the finish of the race "was very exciting. The Third .Class match was won by the Zephyr.

NEW ZEALAND

(Per Press Association. ) ■. , .Auckland, To-day. A Meeting. The Ovala brings news from Raratonga of the seizure,of file schooner Hamonia at Pukapuka by the unite, Stoller, and the cook, Fichet. They left the captain on an island ; and the natives on board over powered the mutineeis, the second day out, and returned the schooner to the captain. In the struggle Fichet received fatal injuries, and died next day. Stoller became delirious; and died several days later. A Successful Yacht Builder. The Taniwha and Secret, second and third boats at the Melbourne regatta, were both built by Mr. Nicol, of Auckland. The Gisborne Jtaces. The entries for the Gisborne races are as follows: —Tauranga Stakes— Rota, Mata, Flying Beauty, Foul Play, Paramena, West End, Grand Duchess, Merlin, Angler, Laertes. Tradesmen’s Handicap —Corsair, Mata, Paramena, West End, Merlin, Grand Duchess, Mavis, Laertes. Publicans’ Handicap Scrip, Corsair, Matau, Paramena, .West End, Merlin, Angler, Bothwell, Flying Beauty, Foul Play, Ruapehu, Grand Duchess, Mavis, Laertes. A Lengthy Case. Wellington, To-day. At the Supreme Court this morning the case of Holmwood versus the Marine In surance Company was commenced. The action arises out of the stranding of the ship Hyderabad, at Horowhenua, near Foxton, in 1878, and the plaintiff sues for L 2,315 on a general average, and L 2,294 for services in endeavoring to save the ship, loss of tackle, etc. The case will probably last several days. A Tram Accident. A young man last night, while attempt ing to jump on the tram while it was in motion, slipped, and one of the wheels of a car passed over his foot and crushed it so severely as to necessitate amputation. Bonifaces in Trouble. Timaku, To-day. . Newey, a publican, was fined forty shillings to-day for Sunday trading. Warne, a publican at Pleasant Point, who swore very hard, was lectured and fined LlO, for selling after hours. Scholastic.. Dunedin, To-day. In the Education Board’s scholarships, nine senior and nine juniors Dunedin High School boys and girls respectively, carry off first and second prizes, besides five others.

THE AUSTRALIAN CRICKETERS IN NEW ZEALAND.

[Bv Telegraph.] Invercargill, To-day. The Australian Cricketers have arrived. They play a two days’ match, beginning to-day, at one o’clock.

A Lunatic’s Freak.

One day last month, as the insane patients of the great . Charite Hospital at Berlin were taking their accustomed exercise in the, garden of that establish ment, under the supervision of several attendants, one of them, a lunatic cab driver of herculean strength, contrived to slip away from his cornpanions and to clamber up the trunk of a huge elm tree. Having reached one of the top most limbs and armed himself with a stout branch, which he snapped asunder as easily as though it had been a mere twig, he announced in stentor ian accents his intention of “ staying there for ever,” In vain did the per plexed warders alternately coax and threaten him ; he ' laughed at their blandishments and defied their menaces. No one dared to attempt his capture by force, so, after a couple of hours had elapsed, the. medical authorities, having obtained' permission from the district lieutenant of police, summoned to their assistance a de tatchment of the fire brigade and an engine, which forthwith commenced to play upon the 'deranged' gymnast. Having drenched him with a ten minutes’ spell, the fireman summoned him to a parley, but corild get nothing, out of him save a fantastic and high flown speech of thanks for their “ re freshing attentions.” Another arid still more protracted deluge proving equally ineffectual in inducing him to descend, the warders and policemen recurred to friendly negotiations, and their per suasions at length moved the tri umphant madman to declare that if they would pay homage to his gymnas tic skill and heroic endurance by three rounds of enthusiastic applause, he would come dtnvh.' His -terms were promptly-accepted, and. he descended to terra 1 firma amidst the vehements of policemen, warders, and firemen, honorably capitulating* after a siege of five hours and a half duration.

CHISPA’S LETTER.

“ I am not yet so bald that you' can see my brains/’—Longfellow,

While the School Committees of the County are doing their best to disseminate knowledge amongst the youthful portion of the community—God bless them—l would just reward them with the sight of what was sent to me, written on an economically small scrap of notepaper. The writing shows that the author of the epistle had the acquaintance—no matter how slight—at one time or another, of a writing master, and his orthography proves his ingenuity. The School Com mittees will see from the letter I quote, that a very high standard may bo reached by a young man if he is attentive enough to the lessons he receives ;

Ashburton, Janet 5 8811. Deer Sur, I take the ipreasunt Capturnite of Riting to you, horping I am abll to full fill is I am wall ust of that Wurk. I have Seen it in the pappers on Wedsday, I am well used to A d tloble farro plough. Please come to the :— hotel, and you will find Tim Flaherty There.

The Borough Council, the collective wisdom of our noble city, don’t scorn to wriggle through their slight afflictions without an occasional jar. Some of the members seem to have a very pronounced desire to shift the official title borne by one Brown from “ foreman ” to simple “ laborer,” and “ that Brown ” is at pre sent the best abused man in our Arcadian abode. In fighting over the question of shifting, compliments have been passed, and one member speaking of the brains of another was bold enough—to say no more —to make use of such adject ivesas mildewed and foggy. It is evident, however, that Brown’s popularity with a certain portion of the Council, has become con siderably mildewed, and they want to rub him out. For a timey there thing foggy about the reason why it Was thought needful to remove - P? that Brown,” but the “ mildewed? and “ foggy ” Coun cillor has been clear enough in his indica ions as to tchy. it ,vyas desirable that Brown should be : removed. " Ho has pointed 1 out very straightly pointed out —that the. services of one of His fellow Councillors are" available at a fair price, to do Brown’s work,'(and the Engineer’s too, as far as his ability will permit him). It appears also —vids the records ,pf the Councillors', voting—that this engineer-cuin-foreman-cuii:-L175 pro digy. is not without his sympathisers amongst his fellow members of the local parliament; but those sympathises arc not enough for the purpose-just yet, and the matter has been bung up for a time, and Brown, is still supreme. .1 bear that in consequence of the hanging "up aforesaid two members'of 'the Council, thoroughly convinced of their own single-eyedness for the Borough’s benefit, have resolved to “appeal-to the country ”in the matter, and an election is likely to eventuate in which tlie cry will be “ Away with Brown —Aye or No?” On the result of the plebiscite thus taken, hangs the position of our cow-catching and Works Com mittee defying foreman. :

The Amateur Dramatic Society has been idle for a time, and during its idle ness, some cobwebs have gathered about its affairs. One of these cobwebs was pretty well wiped down on Friday by the R. M. who gave judgment against one of its members for.twenty-two bob—price of making a dress supposed to be a counter feit presentment of the clothing W. Shakespeare’s creation “ Touchstone ” was presumed to wear. With the rights and the wrongs of the fight, I have nothing to do, nor am I going to refer to the challenge so pluckily made by Mr. Ruxton, and which I am given to under stand will be as pluckily taken up if the stakes are made worth while. . But I am exceedingly sorry that all the members of the Club were not present in Court, where they would have had a lesson that Would have had considerably improved their acting in many ways If the characters that appeared in the great one act drama of Ruxton v. Felton were to appear in the Town Hall and do the whole thing over again, I guarantee there would be a full house.

An idle man—and there are many in Ashburton—has only the It. M. Court to amuse him, and the said Court is riot without its amusing side. But the boots of our idle men are not manufactured with a view to “amble in a lady’s chamber ” as Richard the Third would say. Those boots are put together by men who have no slight knowledge of Ashburton “petrified kidneys.” (This phrase is getting too common now—too hackneyed. Even Borough Council members are not above quoting the inno cent phrase of yours truly.) The Court house was built by contractors hailing from the asphalted city of Christchurch, and the gentlemen who made arrange ments for its fittings were not qualified, by experience of the township and the boots worn by its hangers on, to contend with the difficulties pf the task they under took. As a consequence I find the space around the lawyer’s table finely matted, so that.a limb of the law can move about as stealthily as a cat, without in the least disturbing the proceedings of the Court. Outside the “ bar,” in the ample but seat less space alloted to .the hob-nailed public there is no sound .deadening medium of any kind, and every motion'of a hob-nailed foot draws forth the stentorian cry of “ Silence ” from the strong-lunged Pear son. Perhaps, as the Courthouse slowly progresses towards completion a stretch of matting or a few bundles of straw may be included in the furniture to be obtained. Chihpa.

A Funeral Without a Corpse.

[London Telegraph .] “ Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, with the part of Hamlet omitted by parti cular desire,” would scarcely be a more remarkable performance than a burial from which the corpse had been “left out” by mistake. Such inattention to detail on the part of all concerned in the ceretnony of sepulture, as is in volved in the latter omission, appears almost incredible. Nevertheless a strange story, published in the leading Italian newspapers, gives an example of this singular anomaly. It is stated, that, a native of Bossito, in Lombardy, lately suffered bereave ment by the death of his wife, and his grief for the departed was so poignant that his relatives deemed it expedient to prevent him from being present at the final preparations for the funeral ceremony, and from assisting in person at its celebration. , Returning to his house late in the evening after the burial, entering his bed-room, he found to his horror and consternation the life less* form. of his Avife, robed in its death cerement, reclining . on the r bier, and still awaiting interment. The widower rushed into the street, and lost no time in notifying what lie had seen to the police authorities, who at' first inclined to the opinion, that sorrow had . turned his brain. On accompanying him home, however, they soon convinced them selves that his extraordinary statement was in every particular correct. In quiries were forthwith instituted, and resulted in the amazing discovery that the village undertaker ' had “forgotten all about the* corpse,” and had nailed up an empty coffin, which had been subsequently conveyed and consigned to the grave with; due religious cere mony and sorrowfu observance/

THE CHIMNEY CORNER.

THREE SCENES IN THE LIFE OF A TRAVELLING SHOWMAN.

A Sketch from Life.

SCENE THE ITRST. — Continued. The manager watched the giant diminish in perspective with a com placent air. “ Seven foot two in his stockings,” he said. “We call him seven ten in the bills, because it sounds better. Never recovered being on board a collier before he’d done grow ing. Very useful for ghosts and ap paritions, only that he is taller than the scenes, and that don’t look well. He plays the trombone beautiful, and he’s thought ; clever on the kettle-drum. He’s not good in comedy, but in melo drama he’s a stunner, and has refused London engagements to keep with me and Polly. He’s known in the pro fession as Monument Billy, from his being such a topper.” “ ![e seems a quiet, amiable sort of fellow'.” “ A sucking dove, that’s what he is, and no more harm in him than there is in a kitten. The worst of him is, he’s subject to low spirits, and then he drinks, and sometimes tries to burn the caravan, and then I fail on him. He can’t stand much punishment; he’s not so game as you’d think from his size. But here’s the caravan, and Polly with the tea as right as a trivet, as she always is.” 1 had not been able to get a word in. I had been playing Rosencrantz to his Hamlet. The great red and yellow caravan w r as moored, in a snug place on the hill, in an opening among the furze bushes ; the stove door was open, the fire glowed scarlet, the little chimney in the roof bteathed up the smoke steadily in the calm evening air. The little table w r as spread with tea-things, a nice loaf, and some fresh butter. The giant, w'ith a pea-coat on, amiable as ever, was toasting the muffins, watched by a crowing, rosy, fat baby, in the wife’s arms, and a pretty little boy o about five years old. The wife of Mr, Mumford—that w'as the little man’s name—was a good natured, pretty little woman, with a slight trace of theatrical pertness about her. She seemed verj fond of the children, and very proud of her husband’s talent. She had a gilt band round her waist and a mother-of-pearl band round her forehead. “ You see that child?” said Mr. Mumford, pointing to the pale, keen looking little boy. “He could walk on his head two years ago, and he knows all ‘ Blue Beard ’ through. He’ll be an actor, , sir, some day, won’t you Jack?” “ He’s to go on the regular stage, Joe; he’s a genius, he is. See how he dances—only see his double shuffling ; then the wiolin,” struck in the giant, In the course of tea, Mr. Mumford was good enough to narrate the story of his courtship. The thirfty, clever little woman had been a stage-struck farmer’s daughter, three miles from Hull, and Joe had fallen in love with her from her applauding him, on a fair day, from the front row of the pit. The farmer—arough, hard man—would not hear of the match, and forbade Joe the house, which was a mile or two out of the town. Polly was kept locked up in a first-floor room looking out on a garden. The giant used to hoist him up to the window on his shoulders. At last an elopement w r as prepared, the giant as chief accomplice. There was to be a light cart ready at a cross-road at a certain hour. Joe was to take care of the horse while the giant helped down Polly and carried her off on his shoulders to meet Joe. The carrying off did very well; but there was a pur suit on horseback, and with lanterns, and the lovers would soon have been captured had not the giant, by some extraordinary instinct, prepared for the pursuit, by bringing a bundle of Roman candles, crackers, etc, with which lie kept up a brisk fire at the angry father and his friends, frightening some and scaring the horses of others, and even tually routing them with great discom fiture. The story was just over, and Polly, laughing and playing with the baby, was just pressing me to take a second cup, when a shrill Australian “ K-o-o-o-i, k-o-o-o-o-o-i ” from my friend King compelled me to shake hands with the little manager, his wife, and his faith ful henchman.

SCENE THE SECOND. FAIR DAY. I was riding home from a petty sessions at Amesbury. It was the last day of : the great Wiltshire coursing match. Three years had passed since the evening just described. There was quite a fair round the great stone door ways of Stonehenge, one of which, to the universal amusement, had been turned into the entrance to the theatre of a strolling company —“ Mumford’s Company.” I thought I had heard the name before, but I could not remember where. A great red curtain waved there, emblazoned with the royal arms —the meekest lion and fiercest unicorn I ever saw. Outside the stone circle the boat swings were no longer revolving, full of screaming, laughing country people. The rifle-firing for nuts, equal to a general engagement, had ceased ; there was throwing at cocoa-nuts, and all other intellectual amusements pe culiar to fairs. It was getting dark on a June evening. The real business of the fair was over, for the bulk of the people had gone, and the strolling players were amusing themselves like ordinary mortals. All at once the red curtain at Mumford’s was lifted up, and who should appear but the little manager, his wife, the genius, and the giant. They knew me at once, and greeted me heartily. “ You see before you, sir,” said Joe, shaking my proffered hand, “ a man of property. That ’ere theatre and fifty pounds worth of scenery, and several pairs of russet boots, a hat and feathers, is all mine, partly owing to a legacy from rny wife’s uncle. If ‘ Douglas’ doesn’t take care, I’ll get ahead of him yet. -■ Fair Rosamond ’ and ‘ Blue Beard’ take more than ever in our way of doing them ; and as for Jack, he’s got a taste fori tragedy—real undiluted article—as’ll make a great man of him someday. You should just see him play the violin as he stands on Billy’s shoulders. Billy, put the young Ros cius on your shoulders.” “Where is the company now?” I

astred, when'!,, had admired the boy’s gymnastics. “ Well, I think it is intent on win ning coker-nuts outside the ring there, somewhere,” said Mrs. Mumford, “ and those gipsies won’t leave them a single brown. Billy, go and look after them. It requires a good deal of genius, sir, to be up to gipsies.” I quite agreed with Mrs. Mumford, and enjoyed the delicious vanity of the strolling manager. “ Are you in a hurry, sir?” asked the manager’s wife. “ Not at all.” ‘ There was a whisper or two ex changed between Mr. and. Mrs. Mum ford, after which the manager came up to me with his droll grimace—half fun, half self-complacency. “ If you wouldn’t take it as an bin-, trusion, sir—being of a theatrical ten dency—Polly, that is, my missus /here* wants to know if you would honor lul by seeing one of our performances ? I know I’m not a Robson, but I love my profession, and I’m allowed to do The trapeze as well as any one but Signor Turnarelli, of Plymouth, and no one can beat him, he’s A it. It isn’t every one who could dance sixteen quadrilles of a morning, and act in fourteen tragedies, besides double somersaults? The question is, would you like to see what we can do? if so, say, the word. _ I said I was reluctant to increase his fatigue after theatre hours. Mrs. Mumford and the giant smiled.

“Tire me,” said the little man, doubling his arm. “ Oscar, ; pajlr the company ; here, give ,m,ethe speak jpg trumpet—the walk-up trumpet, as I call it—and I’ll rouse.’em. Polly; light-the: lamps up again : and : ring in. Mr. Tones! ” he bellowed through the stentorian trumpet, with ftinning!c’dm mentaries : “ that’s bUr” heavy drinking more than’is good 'lqr.' njm, r t be bound. Mr. Thompson! that’s out walking gentleman ; a gop4 one to-iook at, and finds his own togs. ■: Mrs? A,evi son ! that’s our violinist. Mr. Roberts ! that’s our bassoon ; druni and fluted-ar|. gone to town.” .. . , v> , . r.TL?/. “ But I really—” “Oh, but you know you must,” said Mrs, Mumford. “ Ever since you*said you once saw EdmumJ Kean, and had often imitated him, my husband here has been longing to meet you again, and show how hVe 1 do s pur things.” _ . : The company was soon assembled; Mr. Mumford beat the the big drum, and was stage manager/ 'prompter, everything. He sat with me Tn'Vfhe., front row of the pit, and was,;at,;the.. same time critic, performer; orchestra,- arid acrobat. , .nr j ( Tt ie continue „

THE ASHBURTON GUARDIAN, MONDAY, JANUARY 17, 1881.



Advertisements. as FARMERS } \ ) 'A . ■ AND OTHERS. «' jObe' of Walter A. Wood’s Celebrated TwINE BINDERS will be WORKING at .near the School, on TDES DAX* January 18th, at noon. An expert fritHfem rnttendmee to explain the work (n^dfMaChineto!farmera.' POYNTZ & CO., SWF. J■ '■<> -■/: m *:.■.Agents. V:«3b/l V. r.M: V-■. ,• ■' ‘ - AND FANCY ! STATIONERY. ThsTTtidersigned has opened up a NEW ASSORTMENT, of the above. . Cream,! Blue, aind Hand - made Notepapers ; Ruled, Plain,, Fancy,, and Repp ditto. GoosL Business Envelopes, No. 7, Court, Queen, Tinted, Repp, and offiilra. Fens : Gillott’s, Mitchell’s, t arid, Co. ‘a. Inks—Stephen’s (BlttO/BhfCk, Wslkden’s Black and Colored, i&Btemiti, i- CfflßJtingr, &c.! Wprkboxes, dStoOXBAf JhpkB v &C. 4msfais&ss: AND FANCy GOODS jfcail ouihit ~i DEPOT, ,5K««r arngKP and Baexko, Square., lo ’imiiK'j ,v.. l ' 710 i* pn every Tea Table in Ashburton. Sale, 3d. per lb. Fr^.»t the GuAKDlAn''Office* ■’ i



Special Advertisements. O. Carstens & Co. (Late Weston’s), PROSPECT BUILDINGS, mOBACCONIST, FANCY GOODS, J AND STATIONERY. Meerschaum Pipes, G.B.D. Pipes Nailrod Twist, and Vanity Fair Tobacco Musical Instruments, etc., etc. Uaircutting, Shaving and Shampooing. EAST STREET, ASHBURTON. 520*



HE BEST VALUE MEN’S AND BOYS’ CLOTHING Clothing Factory, Which can be purchased at their Retail Branches, all over New Zealand. A SINGLE GARMENT AT THE WHOLESALE PRICE. Thousands of the discerning customers testify that the New Zealand Clothing Factory’s Garments are the Very Best Value for Ready Money. Ashburton Branch EA S T STREET. FOR READY MONEY IS THE MANUFACTURED EV THE NEW ZEALAND 751* WM. SPARROW, ' - Manager.



Retrenchment, —lt appeara_ thatjtjmre are to be fartbec : /9lt^t^[^’'jU> ) tne Cbn Service, with the' view to ecbhbmy. The- Press's Wellington correspondent, tele graphs:—“lt is the intentionoi the Go vernment to make further- reductions and amalgamations in the Civil 'Service, and Messrs. Batkin and Seed . .Have been in structed to report as to the directions and manner in which such reductions can be most satisfactorily effected. The recom mendations in the report of the Royal Commission re Civil Service will be taken as the basis of operation,; and Batkin and Seed will travel all over the colony and make a personal inspection preparatory to sending in ; a. full report and suggestions as to refortns'desirable. ” Holloway's Ointment and Pills.— Multitudes suffering under, a complication of disorders might obtain = relief through v these healing and purifying remedies, which should be employed without a day’s delay. When the weather is variaule and colds and influenzas are prevalent, this Ointmentj well mbbcduppn the throat and chest, gives the greatest ease, and checks all tendency to inflamation in the lungs and other organs. The Bibs assist the curative action of the Ointment, inasmuch as • Lgy purify the blood and so quicken its circu lation that congestion is rendered almost im possible. Holloway’s treatment deals most successfully, too, with that very troublesome and often tedious aliment, indigestion, whiclils the bane of thousands from overwork and ftst iving in the present day.— Advt. Wanted. WANTED, a Good PLOUQH,MAN£ YV accustomed to work a Machine. Apply, Office of this Paper. 885 WANTED TO SELL—Twenty-five SECTIONS, - Wakanui road. Apply, Patching, Tent-maker, Bast street. .m ; /.fl 898 WANTED, TENDERS for , PDRr CHASE of 25& "Acres LAND, si* miles from Hinds, next Mr. Pye’s. Water, 20ft. Half Fenced. Sixty Acres Ploughed. Terms—lo per cent, cash, 15 per cent.: in twelve months, /balance per arrangement. Tenders to C. Howard, Woodend, by February IQth. No tender necessarily accepted. 944 WANTED KNOWN, That HENRY’S PORTRAIT ROOMS, Saunders’ Buildings, East .street, Ashburton, are open DAILY, from 9 a.m. .till 5 p.m. Portraits taken in any weather; ' Great Reduction in Price. 606 WANTED KNOWN—The Largest and Best Stock of Saddlery in to be found at the shop of S. Tinwald. Good strong Cart Collars frbii 155.; Cart Winkers, ,Bs. 6d. ; Plough Back-bands, 6s. cash; Cart Saddles and Breechens, from 605.; Reaping Machine Pole Straps, 2s. Farmers will make a great saving by buying of S. Stephens, Saddler, Tinwald. ■ ..; WANTED KNOWN. f - r> AJ»bartPf REGISTRY OFFICE for M|l| and Female Servants.—L. F, Andre west begs to inform the public of Ashburton and surrounding districts that he haS" opened the above,. Male and Female Servants of all classes provided. "Em ployers requiring servants, and all persons" with good recommendations,- who are in want of situations, are requested to apply to L. F. Andkewes, Labor Agent, Book-’ seller, and Stationer, East street, South; * ' - 527 WANTED KNOWN., SOMERSET LIVERY AND BAIT STABLES. JW. M‘RAE begs <to inform the , public that he has taken, the \bove Stables from Mr. Bossenberg, afid is making extensive repairs. * • Buggies and saddle horses on hire. Lowest prices and best attention., ,;852 XATANTED. —THE GUARDIAN tails ’ ’ your Wants for iK-r-casH,' J yin' WANTED KNOWN—That Visiting Cards, plain or mourning, can be obtained printed ifif variouststylls, <a£ the ‘‘Guardian” office, oppqaito the RaUway Station.' ' ' ' ‘ y Ball in very neat styles, with Pencils and Ribbons, printed at the GtiAßiWAfr Office, East street, near Railway Station.