SHIPPING.

PORT OP LYTTELTON.

Arrived. Yesterday. Falcon, ketch, from Anahau. T. B. Taylor, schooner, from Wanganui. To-day. Go-Ahead, s.s., from Kaikoura. Sailed. Yesterday. Tararua, s.s., for Hobart Town and Melbourne. To-day. Wanaka, s.s., for Northern ports. SHIPPING TELEGRAMS. Auckland, Yesterday. Sailed—Hinernoa, for Wellington ; Pen guin, for the South. Napier, Yesterday. Sailed —Ship Waikato, for London. Wellington, Yesterday. Arrived —Pelican, schooner, from Lyt telton. Westport, Yesterday. Arrived —George Thornton, from Mel bourne. Sailed—Star of the South, for Timarn, with 200 tons of coal. Melbourne, Yesterday. Sailed—Arawata, s.s., for the Bluff.

MAIL NOTICES.

Mails close at the Chief Post Office, Christchurch, for the following places a übject to necessary alterations) as under

Thursday, December, 23.

For Northern Ports and Australian Colonies, per Rotomahana, at 3.20 p.m. ; late fee letters, at 3.30 p.m. ; guard’s van, 4 p.m. train. For Akaroa and Otago, per Hawea, at 11.15 a. m. ; late fee letters, at 11.30 a.m.; guard’s van, 12 noon train. Friday, December 24.

For Northern Ports, per Penguin, at 7.30 p.m. ; guard’s van, 8.30 p.m. train. A supplementary mail per Penguin for late fee letters only will be closed on Saturday, 25th December (Christmas Day), at 7.30 p.m. Friday, December 31. For the United Kingdom, via San Fran cisco, Ac., as under : —Money orders and registered letters, at 5 p.m.; books and newspapers, at 9 p.m.; ordinary letters, at 10 p.m. A supplementary mail will be closed at 7 pan. on Saturday, January, 1, 1881. Late fee letters may be posted in the guard’s van attached to the 8.30 p.m train on Saturday, January 1.

On Saturday, December 25th (Christ mas Day), all branches of the Post Office will be closed.

On Saturday, Ist January (New Year’s Day), all branches of the Post Office will he closed.

Mails close at the Ashburton Post Office, as follows : For Christchurch and North at 5.30 a. m. 10 a. m., and sp. in., daily. For Chertsey Ilakaia, &c., at 10 a. m. and 5 p. in. daily. For Dunedin, Tinwald, Winslow, Hinds, jldstrcnm, Rangitata, Orari, Winchester, and Geraldine, at 10 a.in. daily. For Temuka, at 0 a.in. and 10 a.m., daily. For Timaru and South, at 6 a.m., 10 a. m., and 4.20 p.m., daily. For Grcenstreet, Ashburton Forks, Mount Somers, and Ashburton Gorge, on Tuesdays and Fridays, at 10.30 a m. For Asliton, Watorton ami Longbeacb, at 4.30 p.m. daily. For Wakanui, F.lgin, and SeaSeld, on Tuesdays and Fridays, at 0 a.m. Mails arrive at the Ashburton Post Office — From Christchurch and Ilakaia at 10.25 a.m., 4.35 p.m., and 7.50 p.m. From Chertsey, Ac. at 10.25 a.m. daily. From Dunedin and intermediate places at 5.35 p.m. daily. Frem Temuka and Timaru at 10.15 a.m. 5.35 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. daily. From Greenstrcet, Ashburton Forks, Mount Somers, and Ashburton Gorge on Wednesdays and Saturdays at 3 p.m. From Ashton, Watorton, and Long beach at 10 a.m. daily.

From Wakanui, Elgin, and Seafleld on Tuesdays and Fridays at 2.30 p. m.

DAILY MEMORANDA.

AUCTION SALES. Friday, December 24. Mr. T. Bullock —Usual Weekly Sale,

Friday, December 31. Mr. T. Bullock, at his rooms, East street -—Freehold and Leasehold Property. ■Two o’clock.

Tuesday, January 4. Quill and Co., Monthly Sale, Mount Somers.

MEETINGS, AMUSEMENTS, &c. To-Night, Wednesday, December 22.

Arch Purple Meeting, Templar Hall, 7.30

p.m. Professor and Madame Haselmayer, Town Hall, at 8 p.m.

To-morrow, Thursday’, December 23. Concert, in aid of the Borough School Prize Fund, Town Hall; commence at 7.30 p. m. Monday, December 27.

Fire Brigade Carnival, Town Hall, at 8 p.m. Wednesday, December 29. Borough Council, at Borough Council Chambers, at 7 o’clock.

Monday, January’, 3. Upper Ashburton Hoad District —Annual Meeting of Ratepayers, Road Board Office, at 12 noon. Tuesday, January 4.

Longbeach Road Board —Annual Meeting of Ratepayers, Road Board Office, at 12 noon.

Wednesday, January 5. County Council, at the County Council Chambers, at 11 o’clock. Thursday’, January’ 6.

Wakanui Road District —.Annual Meeting of Ratepayers, at the office of the Agri cultural and Pastoral Association Show Grounds, at 12 noon.

TRAVELLERS’ GUIDE.

Trains Leay’e Ashburton for Christ church and intermediate stations at 6 a.in., 10.30 a.m., and (Express) 5.48 p.m.

Trains Leave Ashburton for Timaru and South, at 7 a.in., 10.3 G a.m. (Ex press), and 4.50 p.m.—the latter pro ceeding no farther than Timaru. Trains Arrive at Ashburton from Christchurch at 10 24 a.m. (Express), 4.35p.m., and 7.50 p.m. Trains Arrive at Ashrurton from Timaru and South at 10.15 a.m., 5.34 p.m. (Express), and 8.15 p.m.

The Ashburton Guardian. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1880. Love and Electricity.

TOWN EDITION. [lssued at 5 i>. m. ]

Some days ago it was announced from Wellington that there was some trouble in the telegraph office, the result of which had been that either the tall and handsome Maginnity must resign his .position of second in command of the department, or the department must lose the services of the whole force of lady telegraphists. Mr. Maginnity ac cepted the inevitable, and resigned. The department accepted his resigna tion, and as we read the paragraph we thought that the great Maginnity had been lost for ever to the telegraphic service of the colony, that for bending at the shrine of beauty six feet of tele graphic male superintendent had been sacrificed to save the services of an army of smiling lady operators. But the colony is not, after all, to lose the services of the great Maginnity, nor is it to lose, either, the services of its lady telegraphists. The Maginnity’s resig nation was accepted, to be sure, but he was immediately appointed to another situation in the service, only a button hole lower in point of grade. We are told that the offence of the Maginnity was that he had been guilty of a “ social escapade ” —an escapade that had evi dently raised the wrath and incurred the execrations of all the females whose master in a social sense he was —driven them to the extreme course of demand ing the dismission of their head on pain of their own renunciation of their situations. Maginnity had a position of trust —he had the oversight of a large number of civil servants, and a large number of these were young females. We do not know the particulars of the female operators 1 charge against him, and we don’t want to know. His friends of the press call it simply an “ indiscretion,” and Government do not seem to consider it a very heinous one. But the telegraph girls con sidered it sufficient to compromise their good name if he were allowed to re main their master, and he himself seems to consider it sufficiently scandal ous to call for his resignation, and he has sent it in. But a “ curled darling” like Maginnity is too great a man to be wholly sat upon, so he is quietly shunted on to a side station till the young ladies’ wrath against his “ indis cret” immorality subsides, when we may expect again to see the Maginnity once more shining as a great man in the Civil service. But the conduct of the Government in this Maginnity affair is, to say the least of it, question able. He is a telegraph manager whose place could be easily filled at a moment’s notice from the ranks of those who have been sacrificed—not for outraging morality and the common decency of society—not for incapacity as telegraphists, nor for any fault of their own personal characters —but simply because the retrenchment

policy of the Ministry required that the salaries they earned should oe saved to the colony. Without regard to merit or length of service, many of these men have received their walking ticket, with the conventional polite re gret that the circumstances of the colony necessitated the dispensing with their services. Without a breath even of suspicion against their characters they had to go. It may have seemed to them hard, cruel, even unjust, but go they must, and they went —many of them who had grown grey in the colony’s service. But when Maginr tty resigns—run to earth by the execra tions of a crowd of decent women, an other place is found for him in which to hide till the storm has cooled. Truly our Government is careful of its friends, and patient with the erring. The decent honest men who went out with unstained name are supposed to be strong and wealthy, in the possession of a good charac ter, and will be able to fight their way in the world; but the poor Maginnily, who has been “ indiscreet,” would fare badly, so a place must be found for him. And it is found. An equitable and consistent Government sees no necessity for making room by the Maginnity’s resignation for some decent, respectable man, whose seven teen or twenty years’ unimpeachable service to the colony could not save him from the pressure of the retrenchment screw, but we fancy the general public will see with other eyes, and eyes less less kindly to the amorous Maginnity.

Scholastic. —In another column Miss Steanc, well known in this district a;- an efficient teacher, announces her intention of opening a superior private school for pupils at Rakaia.

Cambridge Newland. The school district hitherto known as Cambridge is, after the first January, to be known as Newland. A post office will also open at the Newland schoolhonao, Mr. H. Cape Williamson being postmaster.

Slaughter House Licenses. —Holders of slaughter house licenses are reminded that licenses expire on the 31st of this month. Intending applicants for renewal should apply to the County Council at its meeting on the sih of January.

Professor Haselmater. Professor Haselmayer’s entertainments have always been popular in Nov/ Zealand, and the one he is to give to-night in the Town Hall should be specially so, inasmuch as, in addition to the good things he has always been able to show in the past, he entertains his friends with many novelties. Amongst those are some exceedingly well ii’ained birds, the performances of the automaton Psycho, and the aid lent to the Professor by Madam Haselmayer.

The High School Mastership. —The High School governors met at 11 a.m. to day, to interview the five candidates whose testimonials had induced the Board to invite their personal attendance. Pre sent—Dr. Trevor (in the chair), Messrs. Cox, Grigg, Saunders, and Wright. After a conversation with each of the candidates, Mr. Hogg, 8.A., Cambridge, and lately mathematical teacher at the Wellington High School, was unanimously elected. The Principal of the Wellington High School describes him as “a scholar, a gentleman, and a Christian.”

“The Big Gooseberry”—The “big gooseberry " season is a sort of standing joke, ami it is usually said there is very little else to notice when the “ big goose berry " paragraph rolls up. That may be or may not bo, but the big gooseberry we are about to notice is one—or rather many —grown by Mr. St. Hill of this town, and is noticed, less on account of their size, than as an evidence of what can be «one in this district. Mr. St. Hill procured his bushes two years ago from Mr. George Smith, nurseryman, Ashburton, and tiiey must have been well worth buying when they give at this early date such a full crop as they do of berries as largo as early potatoes. Mr. St. Hill showed us a dozen or so to-day, and applying his always handy rule to each of them, it was found that each berry measured longitu dinally over an inch and a half, and nearly an inch in diameter. Six of them were weighed in our presence and scaled just three ounces, an average of half an ounce per gooseberry.

Rottenness in the Wool Market.— An Auckland telegram says : —Hitherto there has been very little re-sorting of wool down here after it was sold at auc tion, and cheats, which have been per petrated, have not been discovered until after the wool arrived in London, where no proceedings could be taken there against offenders. This year, however, a different policy is being pursued. Several large purchasers are having all bales and packages opened after the sale, the wool taken wholly out, carefully examined and re-sorted. This work has brought to light a greater degree of iniquity than was ever imaged to exist. So had arc some of the evil practices which have already been detected, that some of the original sellers have had to come to such terms as were satisfactory to buyers. In one case the packing of a number of bales of wool was so carefully and systematically done that no doubt could exist as to the inten tions of the vendor.

Vagrancy. A Stiff Sentence. Israel Luke, aliaa Austin, got it hot to day from Messrs. John Ollivicr and H. T. Winter, JJ P.. Luke is an incorrigible, and has been through the hands of the police on too many occasions for the safety of the lieges generally. He has been before the Court for highway robbery, and several equally heinous offences, and to-day ho was charged with vagrancy. Luke’s mode of living is by loafing about public houses, asking for shouts, and threatening to fight those who refuse. Nobody could be produced to say they ever saw him do any work, but there were plenty of witnesses to prove him a con firmed loafer, while the police produced a very long and black record of convictions. The Justices thought ho was a pest to society, and a specially dangerous fellow in a town like Ashburton, to which place he would be liko’y to give a bad name. It was in the discharge of a duty to society that he would he removed from the chance of doing mischief for a lengthened period, and he was sentenced to twelve months’ imni’isoiimeut with hard labor.

The Fire Brigade Carnival.— The programme of the Fire Brigade Concert and Demonstration is published this even ing in another column. In connection with the concert we are permitted to state that G. D. Branson, Esq., has kindly undertaken the position of manager of the musical portion of the affaii, and in the glees will be supported by the best amateur talent in the district. The champions at the Caledonian Sports on that day will exhibit their feats on Hie “light fantastic,” and win their battles o’er again on the stage, to the soul-inspiring strains of Piper Elder. The local items of the “Stump Speech” and the “Fire Brigade Song ” are, we understand, in good hands, and will be appreciated by the audience. The great feature, however, will be the Torchlight Procession and the display of Fireworks at ten o’clock, when the juveniles of .Ashburton will have a treat provided for them such as has never yet gladdened their eyes. We understand that nearly half the tickets are alrea ly sold, so that early application is neeess. ry by those desirous of being present at a really first-class entertainment.

Scholarships. —There arc thirty candi dates for the the Senior Scholarships offered by the Education Board of Otago, and over lifty for the Junior Scholarships. Closed. The Evening Telegraph, Timarn, has ceased publication, havingbeen absorbed by the South Canterbury Times, the proprietor of which- has purchased both the plant and goodwill of ' the Tele graph. The Nelson Bankruptcy. —Wymond and Co., an extensive drapery establish ment in Nelson, went through some weeks ago, and the smash was so great and so suspicious that the creditors refused the sole partner in the firm, T. S. Wymond, his discharge, and resolved- to - prosecute him for fraudulent bankruptcy. The case took a new development at the Christ church -R.M. Court to-day, at which Martha. Wymond, bankrupt's wife, and P. A. Wymond, her nephew, were charged with the larceny of 30 cases of goods, the property of the bankrupt estate. Prisoners had been arrested on a warrant from Wellington, and were remanded to Nelson. Bail was allowed.

Gladstone and Bright. —lt is pleasant to know that none of his former colleagues is more hearty in his admiration than the greatest of them all, and the one whose birth and training might have been ex pectedto make him the least appreciative—■ John Bright. Disagreeing with Mr. Glad stone on many grave questions, seeing in him theonly rival to his own oratorical pre eminence, he is the most warm and generous in his praises. A story was lately told how Mr. Bright, hearing a lady rail at Mr. Gladstone, suddenly turned and asked her, “ Has your son ” (the boy was standing beside them) ‘ ‘ ever seen Mr. Gladstone?” “No,” was the sur prised answer. “Then take him to’see the greatest Englishman he is ever likely to look upon.”— Scribner for November.

The English Channel Tunnel.— The works which are going on at Abbot Cliff Tunnel, between Folkestone and Dover, on the South-eastern railway, in connec tion with the sinking of a shaft for test ing the geological formations of the locality, with a view to the formation of a tunnel between England and Prance, were inspected July 20th, and pronounced satisfactory by M. Leon Say and the French engineers, including M. Duval, M. Oreton, and the Count de Montebello. A shaft 90 feet deep has been sunk from the level of the engine-house at high ■water and a heading has been driven to the level of high water mark for the pur pose of depositing the chalk. Powerful machinery has been fixed for driving an atmospheric drill, with which it is intended to drive a heading as far as Dover, a distance of three miles, under the line of railway, the heading at Dover to be 300 feet deep. The experiments arc being carried out under the direction of Col. Beaumont and Captain English. The South-eastern Railway Company have made a grant of £30,000 for the purpose. —Scientific American.

CABLE NEWS.

LATEST FROM EUROPE.

. {Per Reuter's Agency.) The Telephone. London, Dec. 20. The Telephone Company lost the case versus the Post Office on the question of the legality of erecting wires. Dec. 21. The Postmaster-General is now pre pared to establish telephones. The Boers. Tire latest advices from the Cape state that the Boers have occupied Heidelberg and formed a Republic. Curgcr has been elected President without violence, the citizens not using any resistence. Later. Further telegrams to hand from the Cape regarding the rebellion m the Transvaal announce that the telegraph lines between Heidelberg and Pretoria were cut before the Boers proceeded to the former place. News of the outbreak was, however, soon received at Pretoria, and the Governor of Trans vaal, Sir George Colley, at once gave ordeis for all available troops in the district to be despatched without delay to Heidleberg, where the Boers are, as already announced, in complete occupation. London Constables for Ireland.

Three hundred London constables are going to Ireland to assist in preserv ing order.

AUSTRALIAN.

{Per Renter's Agency.) Cricket.

Mumjoukne, Dec. 21.

The Australian team won the match against South Tasmania by five wickets.

The Totalisator. Met.iioukne, To-day. In the Legislative Council last night a report of the Select Committee on the Totalisator Bill, which favored the legalisation of the instrument, was brought up. A resolution embodying the report of the Committee was put to the blouse, but was rejected. Salted Invoices. A firm of merchants (agents for Messrs. Clayton and Shuttleworth, the well-known agricultural implement makers, of England) against whom proceedings were taken for passing false invoices, have paid a fine of Li,ooo to the Customs.

NEW ZEALAND

(Per Press Association. ) Room for the Ladies.

Auckland, To-day. A room in the Free Public Library has been set apart for ladies. A Long Fleece.

A flock owner in the north has produced a fleece nineteen inches long. The average clip is nine inches. Served Him Right.

At the Police Court to-day a person named Nathan charged a man named O’Connor with assaulting him in the Domain. For the defence it was attempted to be shown that complainant was in the Domain with a female for immoral purposes, that O’Connor watched him,and a dispute occurred which resulted in the assault. The Magistrate was satisfied there was no immoral object. Persons had a perfect right to walk in the Domain without being set upon by ruf fians, and sentenced defendant to seven days’ imprisonment. A Reminiscence of the Circus. During the presence of Cole’s circus, ar rangements were made by Cook, the agent, with the Council for the use of a site on the Barrack Reserve. Thereupon several leaseholders protested, and took legal steps to prevent the use of the site. Mr. Hesketh, to-day, on behalf of King, one of the leaseholders, moved for an injunction, with a view to settling the queston of cost. The case is proceeding. A Dangerous Playground. Napier, To-day. Eight children were fined, at the R.M. Court, ohe shilling each, for trespassing on

the railway line. An accident occurred there lately from this cause. The Pensioners’ Receipt Stamps. Wellington, To-day.

A meeting of pensioners of the Imperial Government has been held to consider the question of paying stamp duty on the receipts the pensioners have to give to the New Zealand Government' in acknowledg ment of the regular instalments of pensions paid through the Now Zealand Govern ment by the Imperial Government. A committee was appointed to consider the question.

A Medical Man Convicted of Man slaughter.

[by telegraph.]

Invercargill, To-day.

Yesterday the charge of man slaughter against Dr. J. A. Moffat, for merly ofWibton, was heard before Judge Williams, at the Supreme Court. Some months ago, accused was called in to attend a woman named Cameron in child bed, and the pro secution alleged that culpable negli gence on his part caused her death. The hearing of the charge occupied all yesterday, and at u o’clock at night the foreman of the jury came into Court and announced that' they were unable to agree. Judge Williams ac cordingly ordered them to be locked up until half-past eight this morning, when, if they had not agreed, he would discharge them. This morning they returned a verdict of “ guilty,” and ac cused was sentenced to two years’ im prisonment, with hard labor.

A Thief’s Suicide.

Another strange story illustrative of the extraordinary eccentricities for which Russian military officers of late years have rendered themselves unpleasantly notori ous, reaches us from St. Petersburg. It would appear that on the 17th ult. a lady of rank was travelling on the Fastova line of railway in a first-class compartment, the only other occupant of which was an elderly cavalry Captain, with whom she casually entered into conversation. Arrived at the Uatinovka station’ sho summoned a gendarme to the window of her carriage and informed him that she had missed IGO roubles from her hand bag, and sus pected her travelling companion of having stolen them. A few minutes previously she had requested him to take her ticket out of the bag, which ho had done, and since that time she had discovered her loss. Search was forthwith institured upon the Captain’s person for the missing money, and a hundred-rouble note was found thrust into one of his hoots. No sooner had this evidence of guilt been brought to light than ho produced a small parcel of bank notes from his pocket, with the remark :—“ As you have got the 100 roubles, I may as well give you the other 60.” Directly after he had spoken these words he drew a revolver from the breast pocket of his coat, sot its muzzle against his right temple, and blew his brains out. Insensible to the dishonor of theft, that of detection seemed to him so insupport able that, rather than endure it, ho died by his own hand.— London Telegraph.

Over-Eating.

Nothing consumes the general wealth of the world like the feeding of its populations, and it is by no means yet completely settled that the majority of men, once above the imperative restric tions of poverty, do not eat a good deal too much. An idea has been very generally spread that it is healthy to eat often, till certain classes, more es pecially servants, eat five times a day ; and the end of the medical aphorism, that those who eat often should eat very little, is often for gotten. The Lancet of September 4th, in a curiously cautious article, hints that the modern world eats too much in positive bulk of food—a state ment certainly true of great bread eaters, a distinct and well-marked type —and thinks the modern regularity of meals has induced us to regard appetite as the guide rather than hunger, which is the true one. Regularity of meals de velopes appetite, not hunger. We rather question the previous proposi tion, as a very hungry man is apt to eat too much ; but we believe that the ex tension of the wealth, and the extreme public ignorance upon the subject, tend to foster a habit of taking too many meals. Men and women eat three in ten hours and a half, breakfast at to a.m., lunch at 1.30 p.m., and din ner at 7.30 p.m.—a division of the twenty-four hours of the day which can hardly be healthy. It leaves thirteen hours and a half without food, while in the remaining ten and a half there are three meals. It would be better, we imagine, for sedentary men to reduce theirs to two, taken at considerable intervals ; or, if that is too worrying, to confine the intercalary meal to the merest mouthful, taken without sitting down, and with no provission to tempt the appetite. Lunch with those who work with the brain is the destruction of laboriousness, and for those who work with the hands is the least useful of the meals. It is very doubtful whether the powerfully built races of Upper India, who eat only twice a day, at 10 a.m. and 10 p.m., are not in the right, exactly equalising, as they do, the periods of abstinence, though it is difficult to decide from the example of hereditary teetotal vegetarians, the bulk of whose food is out of all proportion to its nourishment. The great evil to be removed is, however, not so much the mid-day meal, as the profound igno rance, even of educated men, as to the quantity of food indispensible to health, and the quantity most beneficial to it. Vegetarianism, which some among us exalt as a panacea, has been tried for thousands of years, by millions of people, and has, on the whole, failed, the flesh-eating people out-fighting, out working, apd out-thinking the eaters of vegetables only; but between vege tarianism and the flesh-eating of well to-do : Englishmen there is a wide distance. — Spectator.

THE CHIMNEY CORNER.

MR. SQUAB’S DOMESTIC CRISIS.

[Continued. ]

The next day, true to her word, Mrs. , Squab, with her children, departed from , her husband at Stamford Hill, and , threw herself into the arms of her mamma and sisters at Ball’s Pond. There, in due course, Mr. Squab’s soli citor made his appearance. Mrs. Jones and her seven daughters sharp ened their wits and set them against the lawyer, who shortly afterwards left .the. house with a conviction that any one of them would make a better lawyer than he was. A very hard bargain did those fine females make with tire man of tape, as little Mr. Squab ruefully discovered. The only consolation the legal man could give him was conveyed in this paradox—that though he got rid of his wife and her family he would have to keep- them. Very probably the deed of separation would have been put away in the drawer with the wedding-cake ornament, and the whole' family would have lived together in varying misery under one roof with the peccant Squab, had Mrs. Jones lost her faculties. But that, astute woman knew she'was well off, and determined to keep so if possible. She saw her interest lay in keeping alive the animosity of Mr. and Mrs. Squab, and to stir up and feed the flames of their wrath, she applied herself with the diligence of a practical stoker. The desire of her soul was to be so situated that she would give her unhappy son-in-law a “ bit of her mind” at any moment that her mind had any thing worthy of his acceptance; but this pleasure she denied herself for the good of her family, confining her self to keeping up a bitter warefare between wife and husband. The most biting sarcasms she dictated to her daughter; but much of their force she felt was lost by pausing for syntax and orthography. A year passed in this manner; and though then Mrs. Jones was unwearied and fresh for further fight, the rage began to subside. Finally, Mrs. Jones had the mortifica tion to find a letter embodying her most caustic sentiments, and which she had proudly regarded as her master piece, returned unopened to her daughter. Mr. Squab had not seen his wife during this period, but he had thought of nothing but her. Every Monday’s first post had brought up a rancorous budget. At first he had looked for this letter of hate with eager expectation, and gloated over its scath ing contents, from the aggravating note on the flap of the envelope to the abusive postscript at the foot of the letter. Why he exposed himself to the whips and scorns of his mother in-law is as inexplicable as the motive that leads moths to burn themselves in a candle flame; but in this stupidity Mr. Squab was not at all exceptional. If I hear that a critic has thought me worthy of his spiteful notice, shall I wisely avoid the critic’s obnoxious print ? Rather, shall not I send all over London to get it, and read the scurrility through again and again ? When Mr. Squab had read and digested Mrs. Squab’s opinions of him, he set about putting in black and white his opinions of Mrs. Squab. And as this occupied him until Saturday night, when it was sent off for Mrs. Squab’s Sunday reading and medita tion, his mind was pretty fully occu pied. But even these delights are finite, and Mr. Squab, who had no ten der mother or gentle sister to stir up his bile when it grew quiescent, was the first to find the practice of impolite let ter writing monotonous. So, as had been said, he returned Mrs. Squab’s letter unopened ; and, instead of look ing through the dictionary for strong and suitable expressions of rage, he de voted himself to reading the Christian World. His study, however, did not inspire him with cheerfulness; and where his hate had been there was an aching void of a vacuum. Gradually this began to fill with roseate recollec tions of past bliss ; of children in clean pinafores, sitting around the social board, and Mrs. Squab at the head, smilingly presiding over the teapot; of himself in clean sheets with a cold in the head, receiving unctiuus gruel and tender kisses from a com passionate wife. This last vision it was that caused him to do that which Mrs. Jones would have given her top and bottom teeth to have effected— he wept. The next evening he wrote a conciliatory epistle, begging his wife to return to her unhappy Sylvius and all would be forgiven. But to this affec tionate invitation was this addendum : “ P.S. inhabit your present apartments until they find a suitable home elsewhere.” Mrs. Squab never received that letter, but it was answered by Mrs. Jones in propria persona. She stated her daugh ter’s ultimatum, to which Mr. Squab listened in dignified silence; then, when he had asked if, and had been answered that Mrs. Jones had nothing more to say, he opened the door, and, with a very stately bow, said, “ Good evening, madam.” “ What am I to understand is your reply?” asked Mrs. Jones, with one foot on the door-mat.

“I choose to make no reply to you, madam ; but this you may understand, if you are capable ot understanding anything : If ever I find you in this house again, I’ll have you removed to the police station for trespass.” A version of this interview, in which all reference to the letter of conciliation was suppressed, was narrated to Mrs. Squab, whereby she was led to understand that her husband needed only the oppor tunity to murder her and the whole of her family. As no further answer was made to his overture, Mr. Squab be came more bitter toward his wife than before, and not unnaturally. It is very exasperating to be told to put your par don in your pocket when you have ex tended it with an impression of your own magnanimity. Mr. Squab determined henceforth to have nothing to dp with nobility of nature, and, like the disap pointed lover in a melodrama, lie re solved to be a villian and adict himself to evil courses. He would forget that he had ever been virtuous and respect able in the riot and excitement of dis sipation and vice.' Fired with this re solve he seized the newspaper—the idea had occurred to him as he was supping—and eagerly scanned the column of amusements, pondering which sink of iniquity held out the greatest: temptation to the frail or desti tute. A bal masque was amongst , the

advertisements, and this means of be coming reprobate he instantly promised ' himself. His dreams were as bad as his intentions, and he rose worse than ever. On the way to the station he winked at the girls, and when one smiled in return his bosom was moved . as it had not been for seven years. He stood in the road and watched the re ceding fair one ; at the corner she turned and smiled again ; from ahat moment depravity asserted its impro per right to his bosom. So facile was the descent to the shady with him that before the night for the bal masque ar rived he deemed himself the greatest lady-killer, and was. deemed the greatest ass in his neighborhood. When on that eventful night he appeared in a masquerade dress—not as a wretched Punch, as the ignorant costumer had suggested, but in the more appropriate and elegant character of Don Giovanni this opinion (of his) was increased ten fold. One consideration alone induced him to conceal his face beneath a mask, and that was a pimple had made its in opportune and unpleasant appearance on the side of his nose. But his.mouth could be seen, and so too his eyes, and the fiery gleam of the latter and the amiable smile of the former were wea pons sufficient to slaughter the hearts of every lady who looked upon them. The partner upon whom he lavished his charms exclusively was a witching Amy Robsart; and the things he said to her, and the way in which he said them, his gallantries and wanton wiles, would have made Don Giovanni envious had lie been unfortunate enough to be alive and a witness. ■ His partner was no less vivacious and witty, her lips and eyes reflecting the tender wickedness of his. He passed her hand through his arm and led her to a seat. There lie, implored her com miseration of his suffering heart, and entreated her to complete the sum of his mortal happiness by removing her mask. r, ’he lady sighed and then said: “ Alas, sir, I dare not 1” “ Dare not! ; ’ exclaimed Mr. Squab ; “ these are words which no lady should use whilst this right arm of mine has strength to defend her cause.” So saying, he valiantly shook his fist in nobody’s face. The lady smiled and looked full in Mr. Squab’s eyes, then sadness played around her lovely mouth. Through the holes in her mask he beheld her lips twitching con vulsively. This tore his tender vitals ; a tear twinkled in each eye, and his mouth had that peculiar expression which is exhibited by the bilious navi gator off Sheerness. The lady was moved by this gentle compassion, and, rising from her seat, put her hand with in his arm and pressed it to her side. Mr. Squab could have lavished a kiss upon the rosy lips that pouted towards him; but appearances compelled him to condense his emotions into a sigh, and a responsive pressure upon the arm within his.

“ Tell me your grief; let me share your sorrow, that I may know how, if possible, to assuage it,” whispered he, as he led her away. To this entreaty the lady responded, “Never, never!” But Mr. Squab was neither such a fool nor so impolite as to believe her, and gently, yet earnestly, pressed her to re veal, if not her face, at least her cause of woe.

“ Nay, you would be shocked at my revelation, and henceforth loathe her whom now you profess to pity—nay, whom I feel sure, you indeed do sin cerely pity.” [Deep glances, sighs, pressures, etc.] “ Ah, me, such happi ness as this, of finding one sympathetic friend, is too rare, alas ! to be jeopar dized by rashly following the dictates of my heart and reposing in you that confidence you solicit.” The sentence was long and some what elaborate, but it will produce no anti-climax to divulge here that the lady was practical, and had that very morning written three chapters of a romance.

“ Nothing you could say could alter my love,” murmured Mr. Squab. “ L-o-v-e !” echoed the lady, giving the word a lingering existence, in which was expressed exquisite joy and agony, that died softly in sweetest sadness. Again she repeated the word, pressing her hand to her side, “ Love ! L-o-v-e for me ?”

“ Aye, for you, oh, loveliest incarna tion of ethereal perfection,” said Mr. Squab, catching the high-toned expres sion of the lady’s conversation. “ You cannot be unaware ofthepassionyouhave awakened in my bosom—nay, your ex pressive eye tells me you know it, and even leads me to hope that my senti ments are reciprocated. Oh, say it is so, and let me not perish in agonised suspense.”

“My tell-tale eyes too truly have revealed the secret of my heart, which modesty in vain struggles to conceal.” “ Then by that love ; by our love, darling—what’s your name ? ” “ Mabel.”

“By our love, darling Mabel, I con jure you reveal the secret of your sor row, and why, sorrowing, you are here ? ”

“ I am here to forget my grief, and to revenge myself upon a faithless, wicked—what do I sav ? ”

“ Oh, do not hesitate. I should adore you though those lovely hands were dyed with blood ! ” “ I feel I may trust you, and I will. Strange as it may appear, I am-—”

She hesitated. “Go on,” said Mr. Squab,"relapsing into commonplace. “ Married ! ” she faltered, and, bend ing her head, she clasped her nether lip with her pearly teeth, and then tremulously continued : “ Oh, do not spurn me—do not leave me until you have heard my story ! Listen, and pity me, for I am more sinned against than sinning.” “ I know it. Pray go on.” (1o be continued. )

THE ASHBURTON GUARDIAN, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1880.



Special Advertisements. O. Carstens & Co. (Late Weston's), PROSPECT BUILDINGS, Tobacconist, fancy goods, AND STATIONERY. Meerschaum Pipes, G.B.D. Pipes Nailrod, Twist, and Vanity Fan- Tobacco Musical Instruments, etc., etc. Haircutting, Shaving and Shampooing. EAST STREET, ASHBURTON. 520*



Special Advertisements. Melbourne international EXHIBITION. The NATIONAL MUTUAL LIFE ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALASIA (LIMITED) have recently PUBLISHED a small BOOK entitled “ A GUIDE TO MELBOURNE," for the use of intending visitors to the Melbourne Exhibition. It contains also a variety of information of interest to the general public, and COPIES may be had FREE OF CHARGE on ap plication at any of the offices of the Associa tion throughout the Australasian colonies. Head office for New Zealand— TEMPLE CHAMBERS, Feathekston street, Wellington. Resilient Secretary— Thomas Swain. District Agent, Ashburton — S. Saunders. 800 TO-N IGH T, TO-NIGHT. Before purchasing elsewhere, come and insp; ct AITKEN’S stock of CHRIST MAS CAKES—aII sizes and prices. Aitken, Saunders’ Buildings. 802 m H E BEST VALUE JL -FOR READY MONEY IS THE MEN’S AND BOYS’ CLOTHING MANUFACTURED BY THE NEW ZEALAND Clothing Factory, Which can be purchased at their Retail Branches, all over New Zealand. A SINGLE GARMENT AT THE • WHOLESALE PRICE. Thousands of the discerning customers testily that the New Zealand Clothing Factory’s Garments are the Very Best Value for Ready Money. Ashburton Branch : EA S T STRE ET . WM. SPARROW, 751* Manager. FARMERS ! FARMERS ! FARMERS ! R. McKERROW AND CO., RE Cash Purchasers of Wool, Grain, and all kinds of Farm Produce, and are also prepared to make Liberal CASH ADVANCES on the above placed in their hands either for sale or shipment to the English or Colonial Markets. A Large Stock of Cornsacks, Wool packs, &c., for sale at lowest current prices. R. McKERROW & CO., GRA IN ME RCII A N T S, RAKAIA. 36 K. F. Gray, A UCTIONEER, VALUATOR, STOCK, STATION, AND GENERAL COMMISSION AGENT, TEMUKA. Agent for Standard Insurance Com pany, and Sub-Agent for the Althouse Windmill. Licensed Dealer in Arms and Ammunition. 782 SHORTBREAD. To Scotchmen — Have you tried AITKEN’S S 110 RTI E S I —Grand stuff for Yule. Ye canna hae a guid New Year withoot them.



If a man has nothing to lose, says a recent critic, the host of professions is “philanthrophy.” A journal offered a prize the other day for a piece df poetry to be twenty lines in length without the letter “s” once occurring in it. Billy Jones sat up all night with- his head in a linseed meal poultice, pegging away like any thing, and by daylight he actually pulled it off, and took the result round to Popsy for her opinion. “ You might improve it still,” she said. “How?” “By leaving out all the other letters too.”



McSnivel says that he has often been comforted in times of trouble by the beautiful text, “ Honesty is the mother of, invention. ” . • ■ Holloway’s Ointment and Pills.— Diseases of the skin, ringworm, scurvy, aimdice, scrofula or king’s evil, sore heads, and the most inveterate skin disease to which the human frame is subject, cannot be treated with a more safe and certain remedy than Holloway’s Ointment and Pills, which act so perculiarly on the constitution and so purify the blood, that these diseases are at once eradicated from the system, and a lasting cure obtained. They are equally elficac : ous in the cure of tumors, burns, scalds, glandular swellings, ulcerous wounds, rheumatism, contracted and stiff joints. These medicines operate mildly and surely. The cures effected by them are not temporary or apparent only, but complete and permanent.



Wanted. tITANTED—A good General SEft- YV VANT. Apply, Office of this Paper. 752 ANTED KNOWN, That HENRY’S PORTRAIT ROOMS, Saunders’ Buildings, East street, Ashburton, are open DAILY, from 9 a.m. till 5 p.m. Portraits taken in any weather. Great Reduction in Price. 606 WANTED KNOWN—That a Church of England minister’s wife writes that she saves Ten Shillings a Fortnight by using Harper Twelvetrees’ Villa Washer, Wringer, and Mangier, com bined ; and, although she permits no rubbing, the clothes are beautifully white, and much cleaner than when done by hand, while the saving in mending has been astonishing. Sold by J. HERN, Range Maker and Importer, corner _of Manchester and Tuam streets, Christ church ; Price—£9 10s. 700 WANTED KNOWN. SOMERSET LIVERY AND BAIT STABLES. JW. M'RAB bogs to inform the , public that he has taken the above Stables from Mr. Bossenberg, and is making extensive repairs. Buggies and saddle horses on hire. Lowest prices and best attention. 908c—286© WANTED KNOWN —Just arrived, from England—Christmas, New Year, and Birthday Cards. New Zealand Illustrated Annual, Young Ladies’ Jour nal, and Bow Bells, Is. 6d. each. Family Herald and Family Reader, Is. each, and all other Magazines supplied at Christ-; church Prices. Colonial and European Newspapers, School Books, Stationery,&c. ' A visit solicited. L. F. Andkewjjs, East street, near Lancaster’s Butchery. .527 To Let. TO LET—Near the East Belt, TWO ROOMS, with use of copper and out house. Rent, 6a. a week. Apply, Office of this Paper. 795 Educational. Miss Steane, (Late of Ashburton), BEGS to inform the Ladies of_ South Rakaia, Methven, aud neighbor hood, that it is her intention, to OPEN SUPERIOR PRIVATE SCHOOL FOR DAY PUPILS, Shortly after the Christmas recess, and she will be happy to treat with any wish ing their daughters or young sons to re ceive thorough instruction. Application till Christmas. MISS STEANE, Care of Mr. Mossman, 794 Milford, Temuka.



Meetings. UPPER ASHBURTON ROAD DISTRICT. The ANNUAL MEETING of Rate payers of this District will be held at the Road Board Office on MONDAY, January ' 3rd, at 12 o’clock noon, for the purpose of ELECTING THREE MEMBERS in the place of Messrs. D. McLean, M. Stitt, and Arch. McColl, who retire by rotation, ; but are eligible for re-election. A Poll, if demanded, will take place the same day, closing at 4 o’clock p.m. D. McLEAN, 781 Chairman. LONGBEAOH ROAD DISTRICT. IVTOTIOE is hereby given that the AN NUAL MEETING of Ratepayers of this district will be held at the Road Board Office, on TUESDAY, the 4th day of JANUARY next, commencing at the hour of Twelve o’clock noon. Business will be to receive Annual Balance-Sheet, and Statement of Expendi ture, «fcc.; to discuss district matters gene rally, and to nominate and elect three per sons to serve as members of the Board, in the places of Messrs. Grigg (Chairman), Dawson, and Wright, who retire in rota tion, but are eligible for re-election. A Poll will be taken after the nomina tion, if required, closing at 4 o’clock p.m. W. Returning Officer. Longbeach Road, 17th Dec., 1880. 773 & X AN ARCH PURPLE MEETING will be held in the Templar Hall on WEDNESDAY Evening, at 7.30 o’clock. Visiting Brethren are invited to attend. 777 By order of the W.M. Amusements. TO-NIGHT, rpOWN HALL, ASHBURTON. .. “WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22. Positively for this night only! FIRST - APPEARANCE of PROFESSOR AND MADAME Haselmayer, In their latest and unrivalled sensations. Now playing at the Princess Theatre, ;■ Dunedin, to crowded and fashionable S audiences. A chaste and refined Enter tainment. Professor Haselmayer, . the Prince of Wizards, will introduce the . most astounding Illusions of the nine- ' teenth century, including PSYCHO, the Mysterious Cabinet, the Wonderful Drum, the Stylocarfe, Educated Birds and Mice, &c., &c. This is a delightful Entertainment for Ladies and Children. Prices—3s.,'2s., !. and Is. 774 R. W. CARY, Manager. rjIHE BOROUGH SCHOOL. A CON OE R T.. Will be given in the T OWN HAL L, ’ ON THURSDAY EVENING, 23rd Dec., '’ BY THE SOHO L A R S OF THE BOROUGH SCHOOL. Doors open at 7. To commence at 7.30. Admission—Dress Circle, 2s. Cd.; Front . Seats, 2s. ; Back Seats, Is . Proceeds in aid of the Prize Fund. ' - 784