"i am productive but i am not myself, i can&#039;t sleep.  i stay up for days on end because there is so much i have to do.  my body just wants rest, my pulse is pounding behind my eyes.  i can&#039;t remember the last time my body or my mind allowed me to eat, hunger is a distant memory.  i am gregarious in conversations and go off like charlie sheen.  i have stayed up for days, until white walls turned orange.  i have been on vyvanse for a year and before that medidate, stratera, concerta, daytrana, ritalin, adderall.  i don&#039;t know who i am outside of my daily dose because i&#039;ve been fed since i was 9, i&#039;m 21 now. i have a 4.0 gpa, i am miserable. none of these are good, the alternative is worse."