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thank you, amy, for thinking about those parents in a deep and caring way. i have four children, the oldest was killed in a car accident at 18 – two weeks before graduating high school. he was an amazing person. really, he was and still is. of course he had his flaws, but he had a heart full of love for anyone he met…and i mean anyone. teachers that other kids hated, he found a way to love. he had an eye for the social outcast and did everything he could to include them in his circle. …and he was known for this. he was my soul mate intellectually and spiritually -and we stayed up late at night talking about everything…philosophy, music (i’m a musician) people’s behavior, how to function with love in a world of confusions….everything. he was handsome, very popular, reckless and pious at the same time. i miss him every minute of every day and always will.
time stopped when he died. i died. but i have other kids who i’m madly in love with and my husband and i have to choose to live everyday. usually many times a day.
the reason i’m thanking you for your kind thoughts is this: when someone’s child dies, often other parents somehow need to blame the child’s parents. i think it’s a defensive mechanism that some people use so they can mentally protect themselves from this tragedy happening to them. “well, they did this….and that’s why it happened. i’m never doing that!” then, immediately, the whole family becomes “that family” and most people start avoiding you. it’s very strange and places you in a time warp that is so weird, surviving it is almost impossible. time stops. but it doesn’t. instead of six seats at the restaurant, you now need five. instead of four lunches made every day, you now only need three.  it’s like always looking at a negative of a picture instead of the actually picture.
so, thank you for a simple kindness. whilst stumbling around the internet today…i found a friend. happy trails to you.

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