How frequently does the letter "r" appear in:
What do you do when you can’t get what you want sexually, because your partner is not interested?
This whole lack of kinkiness thing is starting to drive me absolutely nuts. I do fine for so long and then wham! It really starts to bring me down, because I was so darn close and now it seems like it’s never ever going to happen and I didn’t exactly sign on to that. He used to show some sort of interest, somewhere a long the line, and now there is absolutely no interest.
I used to push for the interest and I’d constantly bug him to show some interest and when that didn’t work, I stopped pushing. Then I got pregnant, and it seemed like the interest came on very naturally for him. I was getting spankings at least once a week, we were going to munches, he would actually watch YouTube videos with me about rope tying and things like that and though it still wasn’t exactly what I want, it was a hell of a lot closer. Then baby was born and the interest went completely out the window.
He’s begun reading Sadopaeidia, one of my erotic novels, on a regular basis. Lots of spanking and whipping in that book. Then we’ve been watching porn a lot lately and even though it’s more vanilla Hustler porn, it’s got tons of spanking in it. I wouldn’t say anything if he were turned off by that stuff while he was reading and watching, then I would totally believe that he has no interest whatsoever. But it’s not like he’s turned off by it, instead it seems to keep him going.
I just don’t understand why he can fantasize about kink, but when there is a willing subject begging right in front of him, he can’t act on it. I miss the days when I would say I want a flogging or a cropping, and then I would get it. I miss the days of seriously talking about things like domestic discipline and possible punishments and rewards. I miss the days of feeling like anything kinky was even slightly a possibility.
We’re also both so exhausted and overwhelmed all the time that it’s a wonder I get laid at all… I just wish there could be some sort of interest. A few weeks back, I stayed on FetLife for over two hours because they were streaming the MorpheusBondageExtravaganza Live. Tons of rigging and rope work were involved and The Boyfriend knows that it really interests me. Not once did he willingly look over to my computer screen to see what I was watching and it took multiple times of trying to get his attention to make him watch at all. His interest in the whole thing is just not there, the way it used to be.
It’s just a little bit disheartening and it makes me sad when I think about it too much. I have been interested in the “lifestyle” for too long now without getting any real experience. 11 years ago, when I first started getting interested in BDSM, I didn’t expect that this long later, I would still be able to say that I’ve never had my pain threshold crossed, or that I’ve never had an over-the-knee spanking, or that none of my kinks are getting acted out. Sometimes it just sucks and I have no idea what to do about it.

Categories: Life & Love, Passions & Hobbies, Sexuality & BDSM | Tags: BDSM, Cropping, Erotic Spanking, FetLife, Flogging, Kids, Kink, Pain Threshold, Rant, Sex, Sexuality, Spanking, The Boyfriend | Permalink.
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The given text has 106 "r"s.
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