Hugh
When it rained in Briar Ridge, it poured. 
And poured, and poured, and poured.
The rain would be good for the cornfields, beginning to take root after the frosts of another harsh winter. It would melt the last of the snow, and the river and the creek would flow deep and fast once more. Barren tree branches could sprout new leaves and the apple blossom in the orchard could bloom anew. The insects would return, bees and butterflies alike. Rainfall was a positive omen for the holler. 

It was not, however, all that great for one Freddie Lovejoy, returning from the mouth of the S&C Company coal mine beneath the last of the evening light when the clouds rolled in before his very eyes and he soon heard the telltale pitter-patter of waterdrops on the uppermost layers of the forest canopy. He urged Angel on, one hand curled in her reins and the other in her bedraggled mane, *Come on, girl, it's alright, get us home* But it would prove to be no use as the weather turned further and soon, he and his brave little steed were both soaked to the skin.

It was fine for Angel. Her coat, though scruffy, repelled water a whole lot better than Freddie's clothes and skin and hair. She wouldn't mind a little rain. He imagined it probably felt good to her, after a long day of work far below the surface. And he couldn't deny it felt good to him too, as cold water rolled off him in rivulets and took with it the worst of the dust and the sweat, to feel as though the springtime could make him pure and clean again. 

His mama was going to *Kill* Him if he came home drenched in it. She'd been waxing the floors at the crack of dawn and he would drip all over them in this state.

It was an excuse, then, to take the reins and guide Angel down a path which, while far from the quickest way home, had been one they took more and more often as of late - one which ran by the house of one certain artist that had wriggled his way firmly into a cavity of Freddie's heart and made a home for himself there, one that Freddie was not likely to let go of. He'd seen Florian more than ever lately. Had even sent him a gift on the morning of the day dedicated to one Saint Valentine. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious as to whether the flowers had made their way to Florian's window-sill, or if they'd already been pressed for display somewhere else in his room. Or if (and Lord he hoped this wasn't the case) they'd been laughed over and tossed back out into the yard.

He needed to know. And so he urged the pony on through the rain until the Barca estate came into view, lamplight bright in the windows. There was a post to tie Angel to where she could be at least somewhat sheltered from the downpour, and he slipped her an apple from his pocket as an apology for leaving her out in it at all, before patting her on her neck and all but running up to the front door.

He knocked, a little fast and sharp, but he was sure the occupants would understand when they saw just how soaked he was that he was keen to get somewhere dry sooner rather than later. He bounced on the balls of his feet, impatient, hoping, until there was the sound of deadbolts being drawn back and the door swung open, revealing none other than Olivia, who all but fell about herself with poorly-suppressed laughter at the sight of him. He laughed, too, sure he looked a real mess with hair all a-sticking to his face and his shirt wet through and hanging limply from his shoulders like a dead thing. 

"Hiya." He grinned. "I got a little, uh, caught out by the weather. Flor's home, right? Can I say hi?"

||
Lee
A notebook lay opened on the desk in Florian's room, various pencils of different hardnesses sprawled across the wooden surface. The rain had, as it often did, arrived suddenly and with great force. The sound of big round drops plummeting onto the roof of the Barca estate was a relaxing one to Florian, who was sketching where it was warm and dry; his room. The current sketch was of one Freddie Lovejoy, whose face was burned into his mind until eternity, a face he would never forget. A face he would never grow bored of looking at.

He'd not seen Freddie since the 14th, since the man had dropped the purple violets off on the porch of his house. In the days between the moon and then, the two had spent almost every other evening together. He no longer shied away from the other's touch, something wonderful had come to bloom there, the seeds having been planted over the course of months. Freddie still had to return to that blasted mine to work during the week, and Florian found himself hating those mines more and more for them getting to spend more time with Freddie than he did. He didn't know what he'd do without Freddie. The Lovejoy man was his rock. He hoped he could be Freddie's in return. A rock upon which to bask in the sun together, not a rock that dragged him down. 

The flowers sat in Florian's windowsill, a few of them lay pressed between paper and some of his heaviest books to preserve them. The knowledge of their meaning sat in his heart, filling it with a warmth he'd never known so purely before. 
_ _

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. He heard Olivia's almost suppressed laughter followed by one of his favorite sounds in the world: Freddie's laugh. Hasty footsteps made their way to his door, it swung open and rapidly closed again. And there he was, Freddie. And he was... "Oh you poor thing." His voice was soft and loving. He couldn't help but chuckle at the vision before him. Completely soaked, as if he'd jumped into the river, a most ill-advised action in Briar Ridge. And somehow Freddie still managed to be the most beautiful man he'd had the pleasure of laying his eyes on. How he did that was beyond Florian. _I love him. I love him, I love him._

Florian had told himself the next time he saw Freddie he was going to mention the flowers, mention their meaning and tell him he felt the same. Tell him how much he meant to him, how much he thought of him, how he thought, _no_, knew he loved him. He'd been thinking about kissing the other man, a thought that was occupying his mind in the current moment as well. But that could wait a few minutes, even if he could barely contain the words. _Can I kiss you?_ He couldn't have Freddie dripping the way he was now. He was going to catch a cold. Freddie was probably very uncomfortable in those clothes. He pushed on his wheels, pulling open a drawer and taking out a warm sweater. "It might be a bit big on you, but anythin' is better than your current-" He gestured at Freddie, who conjured images of a drowned cat to his mind. "-situation."
Hugh
Olivia beckoned him inside without so much as a second thought - he would've been more surprised if she'd said no, honestly, because where would Florian be, in rainfall like this? It was a well-known fact that the youngest Barca despised being cold, and no doubt wet too, so Freddie imagined him happily tucked away in his room with his drawings and a lamp, safe and dry. And indeed that was where Olivia ushered him to, with a smile all too knowing for his liking, leaving him to slip into the familiar, comforting surroundings and allow Florian's sweet face to fall upon the state he was in. 

Florian laughed at him, too, but it wasn't unkind. Quite the opposite, in fact - his words were tender, and he smiled so warmly that Freddie swore he felt true heat from it, blossoming in his chest right where his heart beat between his ribs. He'd been getting that kind of glowing feeling ever since the very first day they'd met, the day said heart had made its choice and decided that Florian Barca would be someone he fell for - hook, line and sinker. He hadn't tried so hard to stop it, in the end. The truth was that he'd leaned into it, accepted that drowning in those brown eyes might be his doom, and though it had been less of a leap of faith and more of a tightrope walk, Florian had never once pushed him back, and he hadn't felt the fear of it in a long, long time.

They saw each other almost constantly. Ever since that awful day after January's bloody full moon, their relationship could only truly be described as inseparable. Hesitating to hold Florian's hand as he'd cried felt like a memory from a lifetime ago, despite only a few weeks having passed. Now Freddie didn't have to think twice about greeting the other man however took his fancy on any given day - today, though he was soaked through and Florian was talking, he was preoccupied with wrapping his arms around him from behind (albeit carefully, so as not to get him too damp) and dropping a fond, playful kiss right to the top of his head, nose briefly buried in those soft chocolatey curls. 

"God, I missed you," He murmured, as though it had been *Weeks* Instead of a few days since the last time he got to lay eyes upon him, since he'd breathed in the scent of woodsmoke and oil paint. "Hi." Thoughts of Florian had him somewhat distracted from his work multiple times each day, whether it were a blissful vision of the creases beside his eyes or simply imagining the touch of callused fingertips on his wrists, Freddie relished in each and every one no matter how inopportune the moment it came to him. Often those fancies were the only thing getting him through the long days in the darkness. When the coal dust caught in his throat and he choked upon it, he pictured Florian beside him, a hand on his back to comfort and soothe him through the coughing. It always tugged at his heart to remember that the touch wasn't real, that he was entirely alone down there with only Angel and the distant sounds of pickaxes and shouts through the tunnels to keep him true company.

But Florian was always here on his way home. 

He'd offered him something.
A sweater. 

Any normal man as love-sickened as Freddie would have been powerless to accept in a heartbeat, and would have no reason *Not* To take the opportunity to change. He was, after all, dripping in a rather uncivilised way all over the floor. And the chance to wear an item of clothing belonging to the subject of his affections should have been a happy, even joyous thing to take. 
Freddie, though, bit his tongue and stood up, shaking his head. He couldn't. *He was no normal man.* There were secrets beneath his clothes that no soul could discover (with the exception of sweet Charlie Marsh, but in his defence, they'd figured it out for themselves without so much as even a hint) and he was *Not* About to reveal those to Florian. Not at this pivotal point in their relationship, when he had almost everything he wanted, and risked losing it all if Florian were to find out the truth.

"I'm alright, Flor. Really. I'm not even that wet." A lie, and a blatant one at that. He was soaked. His shirt was sticking to him all over and as he ran a hand through his hair, he was rewarded with a cold trickle right down his sleeve, making him shiver as it made its way down his arm. Ugh. "I'll dry in a little time."

He wasn't sure he sounded so convincing - he wanted that sweater more than anything, too-large size be damned, because he wanted to know if it was as warm and soft as it looked, if it came even close to the way it felt when Florian hugged him tight and held on for so long that each time Freddie wondered if he'd ever let go (and prayed and prayed that he wouldn't, that he'd hold him forever, that they'd never have to be apart, that he could whisper *I love you, Florian* Into the space just over his collarbone where his lips always seemed to come to rest, close enough to feel his heartbeat through his cheek - through his very soul). 

He wanted. But he couldn't *Have*. For what would Florian think, if he were to undress right there in the middle of the room? If the bandages wound around his chest were to be on show, and then of course, they were wet too, so they'd have to come off if he didn't want to get the beautiful and no doubt far too expensive sweater wet and potentially ruined. 

Nobody had seen him without those bandages since he was twelve. Almost a decade ago. And he wasn't sure he was ready for that to change, or to face Florian when he realised that any love blossomed between them had, at least in part, been planted in a bed of lies. 

||
Lee
He felt arms wrap around him from behind and his own moved up to hold them. He held the damp forearms and rubbed his thumb across the fabric. He laughed. "You're goin' to get me wet too!" He didn't mind getting wet if it meant having Freddie's arms around him. He held onto them just a second longer when he felt the other man shifting his weight. _Don't let go just yet, I don't care that you're getting rain water on me._

And then Freddie kissed the top of his head. The action screamed a definitive confirmation to a question he'd already been almost certain of. _He felt the same._ Warmth spread through his body and as it reached his face he smiled. It was a goofy smile, feelings he'd had for weeks now all coming out into that one grin. He was liked, maybe even loved. And he loved in return. Florian lacked the terminology to describe _how_ he fell in love. All he knew is that his love had to be built upon an existing friendship, and that when he fell, he fell deep, fully and with every fiber of his being. He loved just like he experienced most of his emotions; with great force. 
_ _

_He missed him._ "I missed you too Freddie. Those mines get to have you for far too long." How he wanted to pull him out from their dark depths. How he wished he could provide enough income so Freddie never had to worry about coal ever again. How he wished that he could become the home to which Freddie returned to after work. In a sense he already was, if just in his own tiny way, at least he hoped so. The young miner swinging by atop Angel had become a part of a much loved routine. He had been spending his days in the living room as usual, doing what he could to take care of Valerian. But when the sun started creeping towards the horizon, when the blue sky started to be streaked with orange, he'd find himself gazing out the window more and more. Hoping to spot the familiar rider coming up the path from the mines to the estate. How his heart would leap at anyone traveling that path, and how it would be disappointed when it was anyone other than Freddie. 

Eyebrows furrowed in blatant confusion when Freddie turned down the sweater. A trickle of water hit the wooden floor of his room, further illustrating how _odd_ the refusal was. "Freddie, you can convince me of many things, trust me. But my dear you are _soaked_. You're shiverin', what kind of-" Friend? No, they'd been tiptoeing that line for far too long to be just friends. Their feet had started venturing into the land beyond that line, unsure of their footing. But then what were they? "-person would I be if I left you to dry up over time. You're goin' to catch a cold. I can't have you gettin' ill Fred."
_ _

There was something else going on here, but Florian couldn't pinpoint it. There was something Freddie wasn't telling him. He didn't mind secrets, everyone had some, but this seemed to be a big one. One with major repercussions if it were brought to light. Freddie had wanted to take the sweater, at least he thought he did, but there was something stopping him. And Florian didn't know how to navigate it. He didn't even know what it was, how was he supposed to help Freddie here? He wanted to ask what was going on, but what if there was truly nothing? He opened his mouth to ask, and then closed it again. His face was a mix of confusion and concern for the other man's well-being. The question hung in the air, unspoken and unanswered. _What is it my dear, you can tell me._
Christopher
[content warning: gender dysphoria, descriptions of unsafe chest binding]
Hugh
Freddie stood up slowly, not wanting Florian to feel any sort of rejection as he broke their sweet embrace. Had he had his way he'd have stayed right where he was for hours and ignored the awkward way the position curved his spine, for all he wanted in the moment was more of Florian's touch - more of the way his fingers stroked over soaked sleeves with such ease, of the tight grip with which he clung on and said, wordlessly, that he didn't want to be let go of yet. Freddie was learning with each passing day that they met how to read into the things Florian didn't like to say out loud, and he couldn't say he hadn't grown fond of the things they could tell one another with actions in place of words. He knew when Florian wanted him closer, and when he needed some space. And in turn, Florian knew when the day had been just long enough that all Freddie wanted was to feel his touch, and somehow he also knew about the times when touch was *Too much* And simply remaining side by side or sharing space in the room was enough.

The former had been much more common as of late. Freddie was beginning to wonder (to hope) that one day there would be a definitive moment in which they both decided to simply never let go of one another again, one from which point onwards there would never be a goodbye, only a "See you soon". 

Now, though, he gently detached himself from the other man, and crossed his arms across his chest, letting a deep breath he'd been holding whistle its way past his lips. There was no use in denying too much, for Florian had already shot down his insistence that he wasn't wet enough to need the sweater. Any fool could have seen that he was in dire need of dry clothing, but the problem lay deeper for Freddie, as it lay in what was wrapped in the bandages concealed for the time being by his soaked shirt. 

"Really, Flo, it's only a bit'a water," He protested softly. "I'll be jus' fine." The words would have had more of the desired effect had a fierce shudder not run through him at the precise moment he finished his sentence. He felt the wet bindings somehow *Tighten* As it happened, bringing forth another of those pained coughs that had plagued him as of late. There was no blaming the coal-dust here, as far from the mines as they were and with the rain having washed from his skin any that might have lingered. It was Florian's arm that he reached for as he lost his breath, and he might have fallen entirely had the other man not been there for him to lean on. Still clutching the damned sweater, it took him a long moment to regain even half of his previous composure. 

He wished Charlie's words wouldn't echo so in his head.

*I'd say you're risking a broken rib, maybe more. If it goes on for much longer, you could risk warping the bones themselves.*
He had been trying so hard to be careful. Wrapping his chest looser on the days that he dared to, covering anything unsightly with layers of less tightly-fitting clothing. Taking the things off as soon as he got to his bedroom away from any prying eyes. On the rare days that he didn't leave the house (and they truly were rare, for he loved nothing more than being outdoors and around town and with *Florian*) he didn't wear them at all. 
Today had been long. It had been an early start down in the tunnels, and the carts had seemed heavier than ever, and the trip back to Briar Ridge on Angel's back had been longer than usual thanks to the dreadful weather. Getting too cold was never kind to his chest either. It was really no wonder his ribcage and the organs within were screaming at him for relief. 

All of that combined with the way Florian was looking at him was almost too much to bear. His lips had parted and closed again without bringing forth the question that would have explained the curious light in his eyes.

This was the risk you ran when allowing someone to know you so wholeheartedly, he realised. To open yourself like a book to a companion would lead to their learning how to read the secrets within the pages.

Florian discovering all of this was inevitable. 
How he would react was still yet to be seen.
And Freddie would be *Damned* If he allowed anything else to happen without his permission. He would forge his future - their future, if there was to still be a future with Florian in the aftermath - under his own terms, and he would not fall to pieces in this bedroom, in the precious evening light which they had come to share as their own private piece of perhaps the only heaven they'd ever know. 

He lifted his head to meet Florian's worried gaze - *You did that*, said a small voice in the back of his head, bitter and accusatory, *You made him feel that way*. The wetness in the corners of his eyes could perhaps be passed off as simply the result of the coughing that had wracked his thin frame, if not for the fact that it promptly spilled over both cheeks and was followed up by a watery gulp against the lump in the back of his throat. 

"I- I got somethin' I ain't been all the way honest with ya 'about, Flor," He whispered. "Somethin' I shoulda told, o-or I guess shown, you... Before. I ain't never thought I'd have ta... I never thought there'd ever come a time I needed to. So... So I gotta show you now. An' I promise... When you see... You don't gotta go worryin'. I ain't hurt and- and I jus' hope it don't change too much between us. Hope you ain't too mad I been lyin', 'cause it ain't just you I been lyin' to, it's... Everyone."

He squeezed Florian's forearm firmly, left the sweater hung over the armrest of his wheelchair, and took a step back from him as his hands came up to the buttons on his shirt. It was more difficult than it should've been to undo them with shaking fingers, and he could hardly stand the silence that stretched out as he struggled to do it. When the first four were done, that was enough for him to take the shirt by the hem and lift it up over his head rather than undoing the rest. He dropped it quite by accident, but left it where it landed in a heap. There was no use in hesitating if he were to do this, or he'd never do it all the way.

The knot put up even more of a fight than the buttons had, awkwardly placed as it was to one side. His ribs put up bitter protest as he twisted to untie it - he was cold, *So* Cold, and almost everything in him wanted to turn stiff and curl into a ball and shield himself from the world in its entirety.

The small part that didn't insist on hiding alone wished to bury itself in Florian's chest and his arms and his warmth and remain there for a lifetime instead.

Something slipped, and the bandages fell.

And then, there he stood, illuminated in lamplight and the last rays of the setting sun outside the westward-facing window, every hideous curve and bruise on full display, though he was far from proud of them. Upon catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror that rested in one corner of the room, seeing protruding ribs and sharp hipbones and slender waist, he squeezed his eyes shut tight, and turned away, and kept them shut as they were as he found his voice again. 

"I weren't born a boy like you and the other men were, Flo. I been pretendin' my whole life that I was but... We ain't the same like you thought we were."

||
Lee
Worry flooded his mind when Freddie started coughing. He grabbed hold of the other man, steadying him as he regained control over his breathing. He was going to get him out of those mines, some day, somehow. Before they swallowed his lungs whole. There were tears rolling down Freddie's cheeks and Florian found himself looking damn near horrified. "...Freddie?" The other man started speaking again, talking of secrets and lies. 

He wasn't hurt, he had something he _had_ to show- was he a werewolf? Was he about to reveal bite marks? No, no nono, no he couldn't be. The world could not be that cruel. But there was something weighing heavily upon the young Lovejoy's soul, and Florian couldn't think of anything that would warrant the clear fear Freddie was experiencing now. 

Freddie took a step back and Florian wanted to pull him back to himself, to tell him that whatever it was it could be shown while they were close, where he could hold him up if his lungs started burning again. That he'd always be there to hold him up, no matter what secret was crushing him. ~~And to put on the damn sweater, you're going to get cold.~~
_ _

Freddie's hands were shaking. The shirt dropped to the floor with a wet thud. He revealed his torso, chest wrapped in bandages that were similarly soaked. The bandages slipped and- _Oh_ Oh Freddie...



He saw pain in Freddie's eyes before the man turned away and closed them. Florian looked where he had pointed his gaze, a mirror. Florian quickly placed himself between Freddie and it; he may not be tall enough to fully cover it from view, but he hoped it might do something at least.
_ _

"Hey." His voice was soft, gentle and full of love. "You aren't lyin', Freddie." He reached out to hold the other's hand, it was a careful movement, giving Freddie space should he not want to be touched. "You _are_ a man, no pretendin' about it." He wanted nothing more than to take Freddie in his arms, to shield him from the pain, to find out who or what made him feel like this and rip it from this world. "This changes nothin' Freddie. I don't care how you were born, I care how you are now." Freddie was still shivering and Florian couldn't hold back any longer. He closed the remaining distance between them, wrapping his arms around Freddie and pulling him against his chest. His thumbs rubbing circles against the other's skin. What he wouldn't give to be able to stand and hold him properly. Should Freddie not feel comfortable he would have let go immediately. His voice remained gentle, all he wanted was to reassure the other that everything was fine, that there was no judgment, no resentment, no feeling of betrayal or anything of the sort. "You're still the same man to me, the same man that brought us that gift basket, the same man who taught me how to fold paper birds, the same man who brought me those wonderful shiny rocks, and violets." He sounded almost like he laughed when he mentioned the flowers. _Violets._ "You're the same man who was there for me when I needed you most." _The same man who I am falling so deeply for._ "Freddie Lovejoy, you _are_ a man, don't let nobody tell you otherwise, you hear me?" 

He loved Freddie, every bit of him, the parts that were whole and strong and the parts that were broken and bruised, all were loved by Florian. All would be cared for by him if he were allowed. Every curve and angle and twist that made up Freddie, be they good or bad, he'd hold them in his heart and protect them for as long as he was allowed. For as long as he would have the privilege to know him and be known by him.
_ _

If all he could do now was hold Freddie in his arms as he cried, then that's what he would do. If Freddie asked for more he'd give it to him, no questions asked. He'd stay with him for as long as he needed him.
Hugh
Instead of the bitter rejection he'd been so sure he was about to receive, Freddie's miserable confession was met with... Understanding? Acceptance? Whatever it was, Florian had never seemed more sincere in it, and though Freddie was truly too caught up in his own head to bury into the intricacies of what it all meant, what mattered was that he had not been pushed away, nor forced to redress and quickly ushered from the room. Instead, Florian - darling, sweet Florian - had appeared to take the shock right into his metaphorical stride, and instead of choosing anger at being betrayed, had risen to comfort. *This changes nothin'*, he said, and Freddie was powerless to do anything but believe it, to believe every word that fell softly from the other's lips like honey, charming him into the belief that perhaps, despite all that lay before them, things might really be alright.

When Florian's arms came around him, Freddie sank into them, hesitating for only half of a second before he allowed himself to be pulled into the other man's lap, though he was careful of the parts that had been torn into by wolf-claws. Though he knew Florian would no doubt insist that he couldn't feel it and therefore couldn't be hurt by it, Freddie knew better than to risk even causing an inch of harm to the man he so adored. Still he found himself wrapped in a firm embrace, and he could no longer fight the urge to press his face into Florian's chest, curl fists in the fabric of his clothing, and hold tight.

Here, the tears passed as quickly as they'd sprung to his eyes, for how could he cry so fiercely when he felt so safe? When once again, Florian's bedroom had become a sanctuary in which he could protect his deepest secrets, and now one in which he could lay his heart upon the floor and rest assured in the knowledge that it would not come to further ruin? 

He was soon calmed enough to breathe evenly, perhaps better than he ever had in the presence of the other man now that the bindings had fallen away. When he regained enough of his composure to feel as though he could lift his head, he moved only far enough to sit up and pull the sweater that Florian had given him on. It was significantly too large, of course, made for Florian's broader shoulders and taller frame, but Freddie found he liked the way it hung off of him, enough to conceal what lay beneath. Even the sleeves fell far past his wrists - past his fingertips, even, when he extended his arms. The sight of it made him giggle, watery as it were. There was still joy to find here, through the haze of things that hurt, and if Freddie Lovejoy was good at one thing, it was finding that silver lining in even the darkest of clouds. 

The sweater was warm, and Florian's body was warm too, and they were close enough together that Freddie could feel another heartbeat slipping into synchronicity with his own.

And to hell with ever letting that heartbeat go, for it belonged to someone far more important to him than he'd ever though anyone could be. 

There weren't words to describe the gratitude he felt towards Florian in that moment. It would have been so easy for all things to have been spoiled, soured, *Ruined* By his actions, by his lies, but something deep within him told him that neither man wanted that to happen. That they had come this far since the fall turned to winter and they had tumbled headlong into one another's lives. They were so deeply entwined in shared daily routines and habits, in memories of hours spent together. 
Freddie Lovejoy and Florian Barca were not inclined to be divided in the face of misfortune nor misery. That awful January night had placed that possibility before them, and now, it was cemented as fact. Though Freddie would not challenge fate to come between them, he had every faith that should she try, she would not succeed, and would instead only bring them closer. 

He found Florian's hand at his waist, took it in his and squeezed tight. There were so many things he could have said, and yet none of them seemed to stand up to the gravity of the situation. And he had no desire to cut through the quiet air of peace that had settled upon them the moment Florian drew him into his arms.

In the end, he decided all it merited, in the moment, was a soft "Thank you", as he leaned up to press a sweet, chaste kiss to Florian's temple, not dissimilar to the one he'd planted upon him the minute he walked in the door. *You mean the world to me,* The kiss implied, *I don't ever wish to let you go.*

||
Lee
As the other man clung onto him, he gently whispered to him. "It's okay, you're safe here." He gave Freddie time to release whatever fear, sadness, or other lingering negativity he'd been clinging to, not letting go until the other man wanted to move. It was Florian's turn to be the rock, it was his turn to provide safety, something he would do however many times Freddie needed him to. The other man shifted and Florian lessened his hold, allowing him to freely move.

His sweater was too big on Freddie. The sleeves hid his hands even with his arms stretched out. Freddie giggled and warmth grew in Florian's chest. It was a sound he would never grow tired of: Freddie's joy, even if tears stained the sound. Florian chuckled with him, there was something about the sight of Freddie in his clothes that he thoroughly enjoyed. Florian might have to let Freddie steal that sweater more often, he didn't dare say it out loud but the miner looked adorable.

The walls of Florian's room had seen so much; when the office was turned into his bedroom they had seen him crying tears of frustration when his legs refused to move despite him trying harder than he'd ever tried anything before, they had seen him throw his shoes across the room when he couldn't get them on without help, they had seen him breaking down _I had a whole life ahead of me, what did I do to deserve this. I don't want to live like this._
_ _

They had seen him slowly figure out how to navigate the space on wheels as he bumped into walls and furniture. The walls had seen him decorate the room with art and dried flowers, they had seen him slowly begin to accept his new normal. They had seen him crumple up letters to his siblings, letters which were never sent. The walls had seen him cry in Freddie's arms. The walls had seen them grow closer and closer. They had seen the two sitting side by side, playing cards, folding paper birds, and sharing memories. His room had grown into a space outside of all the horrors that lurked outside, a place where they couldn't be touched by anything or anyone. A space where they were safe, just the two of them, the rest of the world faded away.

Now the walls bore witness to love blooming between the two men, a love that neither of them ever expected to be on the receiving end of. A love that Florian felt unworthy of, but he shoved that feeling down with force. _No._ He was allowed this. He was worth loving. He was not lesser than. Freddie saw him as worthy, not as broken. At least he hoped he did. In that moment Florian chose to believe Freddie did. Maybe it was foolish, but what was love for if not to lose one's mind a little bit?

Freddie kissed his temple and Florian's heart started racing. He'd told himself he was going to confess, he'd put all the puzzle pieces together and they formed a picture that might as well be screaming at him that this would be the least risky bet he would ever place. Still it scared him, what if there was something he missed? What if he just waited a bit longer just to be sure? If he just stayed in this moment forever, Freddie in his arms, holding his hand-

_No._

No, it couldn't wait. He couldn't wait. He couldn't hold it in any longer. "I know this is possibly the worst moment for me to be askin' this of you but-" _fuck it, to hell with it all._ He loved this boy. Fallen for him like he'd never fallen for anyone.

He wasn't very familiar with romantic love, it grew slowly in him. But there were few things he was more certain of than the fact that it was love he felt for the man whose beautiful blue eyes he now looked into. Few things felt more natural than holding his hand. Few things felt more natural than being near him, talking to him, bearing secrets he'd told precious few others and secrets he hadn't told anyone else. If this was wrong then he didn't care about being right.

"Freddie Lovejoy, can I kiss you?"
Hugh
Freddie's heart leapt into his throat at the words. 

At first he was sure he must have misheard something, but in truth there was no way he could have, not when he was pressed so close to Florian's chest that he could feel the rumble of his words through flesh and bone as he spoke them. There was no room for doubt, no space to spiral into questioning whether or not the other man had truly asked him, of all questions, *That*. 

And... Could he? Was the moment right, or at least as right as it would ever be for men like Freddie and Florian, whose lives were shrouded in such uncertainty? Freddie knew so little of love stories, and those he did know weren't set in such cursed hollers as Briar Ridge. The lovers in the old books weren't facing up to unknown horrors at the rise of each full moon and they didn't live their nights in well-founded fear that dawn might bring their loves torn away from them as they lay powerless to stop it. 
That was what would seal it, for Freddie. Memories of fresh blood and howls, of bitter tears and the bleach scent of the hospital floors. Though he were loathe to admit to it, this town was in danger, and there was no telling what the next attacks might bring. There was a chance that the werewolf that had come for Florian would return, and a chance that this time it would be stronger or smarter this time. All that they had could be stolen away in the time it took one to draw a breath. 

And Freddie would not let Florian die to a beast's claws and teeth.

He himself would not die without discovering once and for all if Florian's lips tasted as sweet as his honeyed words, if they were as warm as his charcoal-dusted hands, as soft as the lamplight reflected in his irises and sparkling as he blinked. 

Sitting as upright as he could, perched upon Florian's lap with no real desire to move away from him, Freddie brought a hand to cup the other's cheek, gentle, but firm enough to ensure it could not be mistaken for anything but the simple want to touch him, to be close to him, to maintain a physical connection strong enough to mimic the call between their two hearts - a manifestation of some invisible string binding them to one another, spun from fate and fortune on the very first day they met. He pictured it, shimmering in the evening's glow, wrapping around the two of them over and over again and ensuring that no matter how far they were apart, it would always bring them together again. It had been there for months now, its constant tugging sensation always leading Freddie back down the path to the front door, whether that be on horseback or simply by way of his own two feet. The pulling was as much a part of his heart as its steady beat. 
His touch traced over Florian's cheek. He was well aware that the moment since the question had been asked had already stretched out too long, but his lungs had forgotten how to exhale, until his instincts took over and the breath rushed out of him in the same moment that the pad of his thumb softly brushed the other man's lower lip. 

"Can you- *Florian*."
His voice was as shaky as the rest of him felt, but whispering the name of the man he loved felt like some kind of charm. 
"'Course you can. *Please* Kiss me. Call me a fool but I been wantin' ta kiss you for a fair while now. I didn't- I- I weren't sure you felt the same, an' I... I got too scared to be the one askin' for it." 
The moment hadn't ever been right before. 
But hell if it wasn't right *Now*.

"I ain't never done this before, mind. Don't you go laughin' at me now."

He'd talked enough. All there was left to do was lean in, to close the small space between their lips and let a shy, sweet kiss say all that remained unsaid. 

||
Lee
The looming threat of all that lurked out there in the night was ever on Florian's mind. How many more chances like these would they get? A wolf could come by the next moon, ripping lovers from life and from one another. He knew that the time they had was uncertain, that every moment together should be held dear and that none of it should be taken for granted. But in that moment time seemed to have stopped its rushing push forward. In that moment Time had frozen, it looked upon the two men with gentle eyes, Fate standing beside it, watching quietly as the strings it had spun finally saw where the matching end had nestled. One end in Florian's heart, the other in Freddie's. Time spoke again _I'll wait just for you two, I'll pause so you can exist without haste_ And so Time did. It stopped and all there was in that moment was just Florian and Freddie. Nothing else mattered. There were no wolves. There were no man-eating deer. There were no hands on the river bank and no coal mines threatening to swallow the man Florian loved. There was only them.

Freddie's hand upon his cheek, a perfect fit. His finger traced Florian's lip and the artist could almost feel his heart leap out of his chest. His eyes studied the miner's face, the lines, the traces of rain and coal, the way the last rays of sun lit up his beautiful blue eyes. His lips.

"I could never laugh at you, love." He'd imagined it before, many times. How his lips would feel pressed up against the other's. How his fingers would feel intertwined in that blonde hair. How it would feel to love Freddie openly, and have that love returned. It had seemed like a dream, but this was real, it was real. They loved, they loved each other, nothing was more real than that. "I feel the same, I do. I've felt the same since January." He brushed the hair that had fallen over Freddie's eyes to the side, running his fingers through his hair, gently placing a hand on the back of Freddie's head.

"And we're both fools."

He closed the distance between them. Nothing had ever felt as right as kissing Freddie Lovejoy felt. There had been seeds, which had sprouted in January, grown buds when Freddie had given him those flowers. When their lips met those buds opened and revealed the most beautiful petals. Their love bloomed and grew into flowers Florian could only ever dream of painting. The colors required hadn't been invented yet, and might never be. Florian was gentle, even if he'd been wishing for this moment for weeks he couldn't rush this, he didn't want to rush this. It was with Freddie that he could still be gentle. The world outside their sanctuary, outside the walls of his bedroom, had robbed him of that gentleness but here with Freddie it still existed. It was a small flickering flame, shielded from the wind by both their hands. Florian was full of fires, the brightest of which was his love for Freddie.
Hugh
Though Freddie had hoped and dreamed of the day he might finally kiss Florian countless times, no fancy could compare to the reality of it. 
Their lips met, and all that had been uncertain fell perfectly into place. 
It was soft, and clumsy, and beautiful, and Freddie smiled into it - how could he not? 
Seconds stretched into minutes, even hours, and as far as Freddie was concerned they could have become days, and he wouldn't have minded, because he was right where he wanted, *Needed* To be, wrapped in the arms of a man he might be lucky enough to call 'lover' if he did all of this right. Bathed in sunsets and enrobed in the sort of hope that he had feared he might have to give up on, for a moment, all was right within the world. 

He was going to hold Florian Barca close for the rest of their lives. 

The kiss broke naturally in the end, and though he longed for it to go on forever, when they parted, he was beaming, catching his breath. He rested his forehead against Florian's, and when he looked up, the sight of brown eyes shining into blue was one he wanted to commit to memory for all time. 
"That was... Okay, right?" He asked quietly, words glimmering with hope. It had been more than okay for him - *Okay* Didn't even begin to cover it - but he just felt he had to make sure, for Florian's sake, and if it were somehow not-okay then he'd do better next time...

But Florian's smile told him all he needed to know, and he buried himself promptly against the other man's chest, hugging him tightly, nose pressed to the hollow between his collarbone and his neck.
He could feel his pulse thrumming there, hard and fast just like Freddie's own, and a sweet little thrill ran through him at the thought that he were responsible. That he could make Florian's heart race like that whenever he wanted to, through the simple act of lips upon lips.

He wanted to kiss him forever, the outside world be damned, for it would never cease to amaze him that all he'd longed for suddenly felt like *His*.

"Hope you know it ain't the last time I'm gonna do that. Waited a long time - we got some catchin' up to do, Flor." 
He giggled, wishing he could press further into the other man, wrap his arms around him and learn how it truly felt to hold him close and forget, for a while, that they could be touched by the outside world at all. 

||
Lee
It was wonderful and messy and loving, and somehow it was all Florian had dreamt of and more. It was so much more than just _okay_. He nodded and smiled before wrapping his arms around his love again. He planted a kiss on top of Freddie's head. His heart was still racing, its rhythmic thumping a call to its other half; the heart residing in Freddie's chest. Both hearts had finally been allowed to speak their truths, to let the love stored in them be seen in the dimming sunlight. "It better not be the last time Freddie. I'm sorry for makin' you wait so long." He hoped it had been worth the wait.

"You're goin' to slip, hold on." He tried to wheel the two of them towards his bed but couldn't get much further than a foot or two before almost launching Freddie. He quickly let go of the pushrims and wrapped his arms around the other. He laughed. "I'm afraid we're stuck. We're stranded here now." 

"Could you maybe-" He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He'd never shown Freddie this particular part of him, never asked him to help with it. Freddie may have seen glimpses of Olivia helping him, but she was Florian's sister and she'd held the role of caretaker for a while, that was different. "Could you help me get onto the bed? It'll be more comfortable for both of us." His bed was lower than most, making it easier for him to transfer in and out of it. He still needed someone to either lift him or hold his wheelchair back so it didn't roll away as he shifted in and out. Freddie loved Florian, and Florian would have to learn to let Freddie see the parts of him that he deemed unattractive and undesirable, he'd have to learn to let Freddie see his imperfections and hope that he didn't mind them. Just as he wouldn't mind any of Freddie's potential imperfections.
_ _

He explained to Freddie how he could help him, where to support him, where to lift. "Hold me by my waist, I'll try to help out with my arms, and then just lower me onto the bed." Florian trusted very few people to hold him the way Freddie was. It was only now that Freddie was helping him move that they could truly appreciate that Florian was a good half foot taller than Freddie. For those few seconds he was the closest to how he was supposed to be: at the perfect height to kiss the top of Freddie's head. Which is exactly what he did, before the two got settled atop his bed. They'd been on the bed before, plenty of times, but this time it felt different. There was no pretending to be _just friends_ this time around. Everything felt lighter.

"Did you know what those flowers you left me mean, Freddie?" He is reminded of the day they arrived. "_Love_, Freddie. They mean love. Valerian damn near laughed at me when I told him I wasn't sure you liked me back." He smiled, his brother had been right.

|| I just needed a little bit of them <3
Hugh
Stranded with Florian didn't seem like too awful of a fate, really. For a brief moment, Freddie imagined them as pirates, marooned upon an island with nothing but one another's company until the end of their days. And he found he didn't really mind the fantasy. Florian was all he needed to be content, so it was with some reluctance that he climbed off his lap, though he quickly tuned back in when it came to helping him move from his wheelchair to his bed. 

He'd seen Olivia do this once or twice before, so it wasn't entirely unknown to him, but to be trusted with the responsibility, with the weight of Florian's body in his arms and pressed to his chest? It felt special. He felt not only wanted, but needed, *Useful*, and to feel useful was a feeling Freddie Lovejoy was always chasing, but it was more than that, too. It was the faith that Florian put in him, knowing that he was safe and that Freddie would rather die than let him fall. To anyone on the outside, it might look as though they'd been practising this for years, the fluidity of it all, the familiarity, down to the way that Florian draped his arms around his shoulders and kissed him on top of his head.

Freddie thought he might quite like to be the one taking Florian to bed every night, for every one of his remaining years.

Once he was sure the other man was settled, he climbed up onto the blankets to join him there. He had grown to love nothing more than he loved spending the evenings here with Florian, whiling away the hours with talk and touch. And now he knew for sure that Florian not only accepted the touch, but wanted and welcomed it just as Freddie did, and that made him brave, allowing him to find a comfortable position with his arms wrapped around the man he loved, the two of them propped up against hastily-arranged pillows, closing every gap he could between their bodies and pressing in, as though making up for weeks, if not months, of lost time. 

He kissed Florian's lips sweetly, and stilled as he began to speak again. 

"Love?" He repeated softly, and his cheeks coloured pink and warm. He looked down to where Florian's hands were, and took one, playing with his fingers, entwining and parting their hands over and over again. "I ain't the type to be knowin' about flowers, Flor. Tell you the truth I ain't even know a flower could mean somethin' until this moment." He laughed at himself, shaking his head. "Sounds as if I picked jus' the right kind, though. I only thought they were pretty an' you'd like the colour of 'em for brightenin' the place up some. Poor Val - sure he thought I was comin' on pretty strong, if everybody but me knows about the meanin'. I weren't even so sure they were violets at first, but my mama told me. She ain't tell me nothin' about no love though!"

In retrospect, Elizabeth had surely known, but she had said nothing, only helped her son choose the prettiest of the handfuls of flowers he'd come home with, arranged them neatly in a jar of water and tied them with a ribbon. Perhaps she had seen right through him, despite the fact he'd never spoken of his feelings for Florian with her. For what it was worth, he had only neglected to inform her in case things didn't work out so well - it wouldn't have done to get her hopes up.
Joy would no doubt light up the kitchen of the Lovejoys' cabin when he did find the words to tell her everything. 

As the rain pitter-pattered against the window of Florian's bedroom, Freddie was quiet only for a moment before he spoke again. 

"I ain't leave 'em for you without a thought at all, though. I know what date it was the mornin' I came by to put 'em there, an' I... I meant 'em. The love part. Even if I ain't know at the time what they were to say to you... I guess I wanted ta give you the message somehow. Perhaps the Lord put those flowers there on my way home knowin' I'd find a way to get some to you."

||
Lee
Being held up by someone was somewhat terrifying every time, but Florian found that his trust in Freddie far outweighed any fear he might have about being dropped. He hadn't expected Freddie's smaller frame to support him as well as he did, nor did he expect the motions to feel so familiar and practiced already. And yet it didn't come as a surprise that it all felt natural.

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach when Freddie kissed him again, it was a sensation he wanted to continue experiencing for the rest of his days, may the Lord grant them both the gift of a long life. Florian wanted an infinite number of nights just like this one, pressed close to his love, the sound of rain hitting their windows, safe and sound in whatever sanctuary they would end up building together.

Florian was sure both Valerian and Olivia had known long before he had. Liv had a way with these things and Valerian was intelligent in his own right. He wouldn't even be surprised if the two had a running bet on how long it would take Freddie and Florian to finally figure out what had grown between them. Florian had never been known to pick up on romantic interest towards him, his first kiss had relied on the girl initiating and even then Florian had not expected it at all. Florian would come to realize it was because he'd only looked at Mary as a best friend and nothing more. A boy and a girl couldn't possibly be that close without being something more, so he'd told himself he must have been in love and the sadness he felt upon her moving away had to have been heartbreak. He now saw it wasn't, he now knew what love really was, how love felt when it took hold of a person's heart. 
_ _

Love felt like the rays of the summer sun warming your skin, love felt like making eye contact with someone, and your body instinctively reacting with a smile, it felt like a warm cup of hot cocoa after a snowball fight in the freezing cold. Love sounded like that first snort before a fit of laughter that had previously been barely contained, it sounded like hoofbeats on compacted dirt beating in sync with one's heart, love sounded like hushed words shared between two souls. Love smelled like wildflowers and freshly baked pie and smoke and the forest after rainfall.

Love appeared different to all; in looks, in sound, in feeling and in timing, but it had finally revealed itself in full to Florian.

Love looked like hair weaved from sunlight, it looked like the flow of a pristine river captured in someone's eyes, love looked like strength hidden where one might not expect to find it.

Love looked just like Freddie did.

Freddie hadn't even known that the flowers he picked held meaning. Florian laughed. "You're tellin' me you didn't know?" It had been fate, then. That red string had guided Freddie's hands to pick those specific flowers. "Oh I reckon Val already knew before the flowers, it seems it was just us two fools who were stumblin' around blindly," He smiled at the reddening of Freddie's cheeks. "I wouldn't worry too much about him. He's got a protective streak towards me, but he said he'd be kind to you." Florian suspected that Valerian had already decided that Freddie was good enough for his little brother, whatever that may mean.
_ _

"I can teach you, if you want. Might just have to be me bringin' you flowers next time though," He said, before planting a kiss on Freddie's cheek. If God was real then He had shaped Freddie and Florian from the same clay. Their very particles had called out to each other and sang in stunning harmonies now that they had finally met in earnest, now that their truth had finally been allowed to flourish. "Come spring, we could go out into the fields, just you an' me. I'll show you the flowers and tell you their meanings." None of the sights would be as beautiful as Freddie.

He knew that Freddie felt the same way as he did and yet his heart still raced at the words he spoke next. "So... How would you feel if I were ta describe us as, well as _lovers_? Would, would that be alright with you?" He looked at Freddie nervously before hastily adding: "It's okay if that's too fast for you, I ain't forcin' you into nothin' you don't want to of course."

|| You saying they're soulmates made me go insane in an incredibly positive way, I hope enjoy my rambling <3
Hugh
"I ain't know a bit. I ain't know a lotta things, Flor. But I look forward to you teachin' me all of 'em." 

The flowers having a meaning were just one of many things Freddie had yet to learn, he suspected. His education had been a basic one, and he had left schooling behind to follow his father into the mines at far too young an age, in retrospect. Perhaps if he had studied harder or taken more interest in these things, he would have known that placing violets of all things upon the Barcas' doorstep had been a by far grander declaration of his affections than he'd intended it to be. But no matter; it seemed that all had worked out in his favour. 

He thought back to the wintertime, when he had wanted nothing more than to call Florian his. And now, he could call him that and more. Because Florian wanted this too - wanted to take him by the hand and show him all that the world had to offer. The fields and the flowers and all the secrets they held within their close-knit petals. Who would he be to refuse it? Why would he ever want to?

He was drifting, just a little. Intoxicated by the deep rumble of Florian's voice as it poured from one body into another, as he pressed impossibly closer to his chest.

By the feeling of his heartbeat, the smell of his skin, the way his lips touched cheeks like butterfly wings. He didn't think he'd ever tire of simply lying here, wrapped in an embrace that was more than mere touch, more than physical, a warmth that had nothing to do with sweaters and racing pulses, and everything to do with what they felt for one another, what had to be kept secret no more. 

And then Florian said *Lovers*, and Freddie's pounding heart sure skipped several beats in a row.

It was fast, of course it was. But Freddie didn't mind that a bit. The months since falling for Florian had dragged out endlessly - it felt as though they'd known one another forever, though it had scarcely been half a year since Freddie's feet had first touched Briar Ridge soil. He was of the opinion that they had moved slowly enough, and now all he wanted to do was run, and run, and run, with Florian's hand held in his, pulling him along beside him as far as he'd like to go. Never before had he experienced these feelings for anyone, and now he'd tasted love like no other, tenderness he was sure he'd done nothing to earn, thrill that trickled through him like static every time he felt the touch of Florian's lips. 

"An' if I told you I'd be honoured ta call you *Lover*?" He whispered, letting his gaze drift up to meet those soft, sweet brown eyes, eyes that reflected the hope that hung in his own blue ones, the excitement at the possibilities ahead, at a relationship unknown and new and shining like the smooth stones he'd picked up from the belly of the mines and the bank of the river and brought to Florian only in the hope that he might like them as much as Freddie did.

"If I told you that's all I want in the world? That... That *You're* All I want in this world, Florian Barca. An' that havin' the chance ta call you mine'd only make me the happiest man in all'a Briar Ridge - in all the world, I'm sure? I already told you I- I ain't know a whole lot. I ain't ever pretend to be a smart man... Sure there's some out there that'd call me naught but a fool. But if there's one thing I'm sure of it's that I want you, an' I- I love you. I'll love you as long as you'll let me an' I ain't want nobody else to try love you the same. 'Cause they ain't know you like I know you... Like I wanna know ya always."

||
Lee
Nothing else mattered then, it was just the two of them and whatever went on outside went unnoticed. Florian could ignore all the bad that had come to pass, he could wash the fear from his mind and anchor himself against Freddie. The Lovejoy man was a harbor, a lighthouse calling the ship that was Florian out from the sea and into a safe haven. Florian suspected Freddie would always call out to something inside him, that his compass would always point towards him. True North for Florian Barca was found in Freddie Lovejoy. He would always find a way back to him, fate's red string had brought them together and would do so time and time again. Some might call Florian foolish for those feelings, some would call his emotions too big or too large, but he didn't care. Maybe he was a fool, maybe he lost all sense when it came to Freddie. He was fine with that, more than fine; he was happy, truly and deeply filled with joy. The anxiety he'd felt about the conversation ebbed away, leaving nothing but love in its wake.

The man blushed at Freddie's words. They were honest and rapid and toppled over one another like a bubbling creek, and they were all he ever dreamed of hearing and more. Florian had long feared he would never fall in love. Freddie had proved him wrong. Florian looked at his body as broken and unworthy of love, and once again, Freddie had proved him wrong. His lover, _his lover_, had taken hold of his hands and without so many words had told him that his body and soul were worthy of love. 
_ _

Florian had long feared something was broken within him, and that fear remained in him still, but his love for Freddie far outweighed any stress he felt. The fear could wait. He wouldn't trample upon their freshly grown bed of flowers, he wouldn't crush the blooming purple, not as it just burst forth beneath the sun. Besides, something told him that Freddie would accept him, even if Florian maybe didn't feel things that others did, even if he didn't look at people the way that books said you were supposed to. None of that mattered. 

"I love you too, Freddie," And oh my Lord did it feel good saying it out loud. "I couldn't love anyone else the way I love you, and I ain't wantin' to love anyone else but you either." Maybe it was fast, maybe it was crazy, but his heart was telling him it had found part of itself in Freddie's. "I reckon that makes us both fools then," He said, repeating the sentiment again, a grin on his face. "Nobody else I'd rather be a fool with than you. For as long as the Lord grants us time, I'll be yours and you'll be mine. You'd make me the happiest man in Briar Ridge right alongside ya."