David
Time had passed since that fated night. The night that Lorelai had let the alcohol get to her and she'd let a beautiful woman fall into her bed; they'd touched each other's souls and then... Well, nothing. Akira had fled her apartment and they'd hardly spoken since. To say that it was a distraction from her work was an unfortunate understatement. She hated to be unprofessional. She hated slipping up, but her mind was occupied. Was she simply another stepping stone in Akira's line of conquests? How unfortunate. 

So how had she found herself on the Hirano porch? Well, Mako had approached her specifically; Aki was sick and needed some care at home. She was too sick to even get out of bed and come for an appointment. Lorelai had been too worried and frazzled to have thought to say no, and... Well. 

She hesitated and lifted her hand to knock on the door. What if this was a trap? What if Aki had told her father everything— and he was out to get her for deflowering his precious daughter? Lorelai felt like she might just faint.
Micheal
No more drinks. No more dances. No more heavy lifting. No more messing around with the ladies.

Akira was a mess of blankets her body became one with the mattress underneath her. The chills hadn't stopped, the fever was still high, and her throat was dry and aching. 

But despite everything, Akira was at peace. Having told her father one of her deepest secrets was one weight off her shoulders, just enough to at least finally get one night's sleep for the first time since the full moon.

But alas, both she and her father knew they couldn't do this alone. Poor old man Mako had to tend to his daughter while he was still dealing with his own joint pains. Now they were both waiting for their assistance. 

Aki was unaware that behind the door Lorelai was shaking like a leaf, fearing for her own safety. As if Mako would somehow come out of the little home screaming while wielding a gun, or, in a more traditional sense, wielding a Japanese katana or yari spear like an ashigaru on the battlefield. 

Instead, the aging old man opened the door to greet the nurse with his usual warm smile, and the same gentle mannerisms that was also present in his daughter.


*"Come on in, she just woke up!"* Akira would hear her father at the front door. She took a deep breath and turned over just to get a good feeling of the cool side of the mattress, hearing the chatter coming closer.

*"I'm going to be in town to get anything else she may need. I trust you'll take care of her, Ms Roswell."* 

It was at the mention of that name, that Aki's eyes widened. *Oh God, oh fuck. *

It would've been the first time Akira was able to speak to Lorelai ever since *Then*. Just the memory of it was enough to turn her face into a tomato.

But now what? What was she supposed to do? The steps were getting closer. *Oh shit.*

"Akiiii~" Mako opened the door lightly. "I'll be out for a while, okay? Ms Roswell will take care of you"

And now her father talked to her. There went away the idea of pretending to be

Asleep.

"Umm... Okay, thank you, dad, she may come in..!"
David
She was surprised to find no animosity and only kindness in Mako's face. Perhaps he really didn't know— that had to be the reason she wasn't being flayed right now. She politely nodded along with Mako's words, mind spinning and unable to speak. She thought she might just die right here. Why had she agreed? Why hadn't she just passed this off to one of her colleagues? 

But there she was, with her bag and her hair pinned up and her pristine uniform, ready to tend to the woman she'd held close not so long ago. 

Maybe she wanted answers. Maybe she wanted to be close to her again. Maybe she just wanted to help people— even Akira, who she was sure didn't want to see her. She sucked in a breath and bid Mako farewell before she stepped into the room. 

"Miss Hirano," She said softly, putting her bag down on the table. "How're you feeling?" She asked, not looking at her and instead, rummaging around in her bag to make herself busy.
Micheal
Was Mako unaware of what happened? Chances were, Akira didn't get to tell him. She just recently was able to tell her father about her attraction to women, about wanting a wife and her fears. She wouldn't dwell into who she slept with just yet.

But there she was, facing the reality at her doorstep, acting professional as if nothing ever happened.

"Hi.." Aki greeted from her pitiful position in the bed, unable to move and her face so red it was hard to tell if it was because of her fever or her embarrassment. 

"I've... Had better days." She chuckled, coughing a little in the end as she tried to focus more on the ceiling rather than the nurse looking for things in her back. 

"Woke up the other day with the worst flu imaginable..." 

Yeah right, a flu. Whatever illness came to Aki, it felt like dying. Nightmares plagued in her slumber, her body protested every time she'd try to get up, only to still end up bedridden for hours, her fever didn't get any better.

Aki was a mess, and it showed despite smiling through her pain. 

"I-I promise I wasn't workin', though! I been takin' plenty of rest!"
David
Poor Aki. She sounded awful; she seemed lethargic, her cough sounded wet and like she had phlegm in her lungs, and she looked flushed. Lorelai needed to suck it up; Aki was sick, she needed to be cared for. 

"Plenty of rest," She repeated, taking a seat by the bed and brushing the sweaty stands of hair off her forehead so she could properly feel it. "We're going to try and break your fever," She told her. "Have you eaten today?" 

She was already setting about getting some medicine from her bag. "I've got a cough syrup that should help with your cough..." She said, pouring the thick liquid onto a spoon and sitting on the edge of the bed. How familiar this was, seeing Aki flushed like this— she needed to pull her mind from the gutter! This poor woman needed her, and all she could think about was the last Tim they were alone together! 

"I'll be here as long as ya need me," She promised her softly. "I'll fix you up right as rain so yer pa don't worry too much." And all honesty, she was worried. She wanted to just hold her until the aches and pains stopped, but she knew she couldn't just do that. She would make do with caring for her, applying a cool rag to her forehead and spoon feeding her the medicine.
Micheal
"Uhm... I had soup today.." Said Akira, a reasonable response from someone bedridden. Soup was all she ate in the morning and at noon, it wasn't like Aki wasn't hungry, she was _starving_, but everything else she attempted to eat, it would go right back. Such a shame for someone with an appetite as big as Aki's, for a small woman she sure needed her nutrients. 

"Can't eat anything else right now.." 

And now she had a spoonful of syrup right in front of her. That was a great way to not think about sharing a bed and touching each other's bodies, even if flashes of that night came whenever Akira glanced over Lorelai. Quickly, her eyes turned to the spoon, and took in all its contents. 

Aki grimaced as she felt the thick liquid roll down her throat, bitter and sweet at the same time. She let out a small cough, not because of her irritated throat, but because of the _ strong flavor_. 

Her baggy and exhausted eyes met with Lorelai's again. God, she felt so pathetic, the fact that the nurse had to watch it all didn't make it better.

"Ahh..." She exhaled deeply after swallowing. "Hate that ya gotta see me like this, though. It seems like everytime we meet, I'm either hurt or in need to be saved'. "
David
She quickly moved to get her a cup of water from the pitcher nearby. She brought it to her side, urging her to drink to soothe the cough in her throat. "Let me make you something heartier," She suggested. "Please. I insist. I'll make you a soup my mama used to make when us youngins were sick as dogs back in the day." She smoothed her hands out over her uniform as she sat on the edge of the bed. 

"I've seen ya worse," Lorelai reminded Aki. "I mean, I done seen you trying to escape the hospital, torn to shreds, wanting to go back to work in the field." She tucked hair behind her ear, a loose strand that had come out of her tight bun. 

She paused a moment and folded her hands. "If ya want me to get a different nurse, I swear I'll understand. I know it must be mighty awkward for ya."
Micheal
Of course Lorelai had seen worse, including Akira trying to flee the hospital after a near death experience with the damn beasts. She chuckled as she remembering it. 

"With spring soon... I outta be feeling better."

But then, the unavoidable topic came out. Akira shook her head.

"No, no.. It's fine. You're doing your job...!" She waved her hand. "If anything, I thought you was mad or something like that..."
David
"Mad at you?" She was surprised, shaking her head. "No, not... Not mad at you at all," She said softly. "If anything... I was just sad," She admitted as she stood up, moving about the room and trying to make herself busy. 

"But that's my problem, ya see? I just— I ain't used to all these things with... Ladies," She said softly and glanced to Aki for a moment. "I ain't ever... I ain't been good with just kissing people willy-nilly, much less... What we did." 

Lorelai tapped her fingers on the table idly. "And honest to God, I think you're swell," She said quietly. "I just... Guess I ain't used to gettin' my hopes up," She turned back to Akira now, pulling her shoulders back to try and look confident. 

"Now, I won't make things weird for ya by piling on all my emotional nonsense, so I should prolly go on and make you somethin' to eat to keep yer strength up."
Micheal
"Sad...?" Akira whispered. Of course she had to hurt someone in the end, hadn't she? The same fear she talked about when she told her father one of her many truths, one of her many layers. 

"I wasn't used to doing this either..." She admitted. "I jus' do it now..."

'*Because it's all I'm good for*' 

A phrase Akira repeated to herself again and again in her thoughts, before going to bed, after every encounter at the speakeasy. 

Swell? Getting her hopes up? Aki's couldn't look at the nurse. 

"Please do make some for yourself as well.." She said to appear to be unaffected. "There isn't lot in the kitchen but hopefully it can be useful for ya.." 

It was the least she could do. If only she could get up from that bed.
David
She felt a twisting, sinking feeling in her stomach. Perhaps she should've kept quiet, pretending it never happened. That would've been easier; would've hurt less. Of course, Aki was used to this kind of thing. It must've been so normal, and here Lorelai was, getting all upset. How foolish, how stupid. 

"I'll see what I can do," She said quietly, stepping out of the room and leaning on the wall a moment. How unprofessional, getting emotional on the job! 

She sucked in a shaky breath and went to the kitchen. She managed to pull together some vegetables and what looked like leftover beef, throwing it into a pot to cook. Something with a little more than broth would be good for the patient, keep her healing. She wouldn't heal as well on an empty stomach. 

She stared into the soup pot as she stirred, giving a weak sniffle. She just felt so silly, acting like that back there. She wished she could rewind time, keep from opening her mouth at all.
Micheal
Sweet Lorelai, Akira still remembered the night, still pondering as she helplessly laid in bed. She didn't just remember how it ended up, but it was how it began that hit her the most.

Their shared experience with loneliness, the pain and the pressure of feeling like having to comform and marry any man to just not die alone.

Finding any husband... Was that something Lorelai could do really? Was that something Aki needed to do as well?

_'I couldn't regret ya.'_

That phrase Lorelai told Akira, those words had been stuck in her head ever since.

 The worst side of her said of course the nurse would regret Aki.

But then, the smell of food distracted her. 

"That... Smells pretty good." Her weak voice echoed in the house, hoping she could be heard from here.
David
She couldn't help but think... Maybe it really was time to throw in the towel. She was nearly thirty— maybe it was time to stop playing silly little games and... Grow up. Maybe she could just be happy by herself, though it did sound awfully lonely. God, she was lonely. How sad was that? 

She was snapped from her thoughts by Akira's voice. It was so soft but she heard it, and she dropped the spoon to come rushing back. "Are you alright?" She asked her, hand bracing the door as she stood there. "I thought I heard you speak, wanted t' make sure you was alright..." 

She came closer to the bed and twisted her hands together a bit. "Lunch is almost ready, you think you got enough strength to sit on up?" She offered her a hand for assistance.
Micheal
Akira giggled from her pitiful position on the bed.

 "Whatever is on the fire ..It smells real nice. " 

The woman then turned over as Lorelai extended her hand, her glance gave a quick glance at her body and sighed. She needed the help, thus she took the nurse's hand for the first time since...

"I need... Help for that.." Akira let her body be pulled forward, using her other arm to stay in place. 

Thank the heavens Akira was dressed up. Granted, her outfit was far from the nightgown Lorelai gave her on that night, she wore a simple sleeveless shirt and pants, too big for her yet comfortable. Her scars were in full display this way, but Aki assumed Lorelai was used to seeing them by then. 

"Heh... Haven't had this much difficulty movin' since that one time them beasts got a bite of me."
David
She used her strength to pull her up into a sitting position, hands clasped tight as she did. The blanket fell away and her eyes glanced about the exposed skin of her arms and the peek of shoulder. Her cheeks warmed as she recalled, well, *Everything.* 

She knew Akira far more intimately than she ever had before. It was such a strange thing, wasn't it? She let go of Aki's hand to adjust the pillows behind her so she could properly sit up with the support. 

"Let's not have another incident like that, huh?" She said softly. "If you up and get hurt on us again, what'll we do?" She teased gently. "A little accident prone, ain't ya?" She tucked some hair behind her ear and took a step back. "Soup's on. Let me get ya some," She excused herself to the fire, ladling some into a bowl and returning shortly. 

"You don't need me t' hand feed ya, right?" She joked.
Micheal
"Hehe... I guess I have a bit of a bad luck.." Akira chuckled. Some people would say she was *Cursed* With the way she'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Everything in her life was a mess, she could only pretend everything was otherwise alright.

But at least she was able to sit up, she needed the help but her body was able to stay straight with the pillows. 

"You don't gotta though!" Aki added, catching a glance of the bowl. Her mouth started watering and she could only hope the food would stay in her stomach. 

"Oh... You added meat in it..." Her small, shaky hand looked for the spoon, picking it up with difficulty.
David
"I hope that was alright. It was just scraps from the ice box but I figured it was... Something," She said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as Aki struggled to pick up the spoon. 

"Yer gonna dribble that all over yourself if you do it," She said softly, taking the spoon from her hands. She scooped up a bite of soup and held it out, holding it steady. 

"I know it might be a bit... Silly but it ain't an inconvenience to me, honest." She promised. "And it ain't too hot, neither."
Micheal
"I can do it! I can do it!" Akira tried to fake confidence as she tried to take a good spoonful of the soup. Her hands shaked as her exposed skin began to shiver due to the still rampant fever. 

God, that was pathetic, the woman tried with all her might to fight against her own tremors to keep the food in place, only for it to shake it a little. With a defeated sigh, she put it back on the bowl, with some drops over herself and the blanket.


"....Okay maybe I need help..." Akira whined.
David
"I know you do, ya stubborn thing." She chastised her, holding the spoon out insistently to her with the bite of soup on it. "Just listen t' me for a second, will ya?" 

Lorelai shook her head and shifted closer, wiping up the dropped food on Akira's blanket. "Y' don't have to be independent when I'm here... I'm here t' take care of ya, Aki," She said softly. How familiar those words must've been. 

"Yer as stubborn as a mule, Akira," She said, though the words were far more fond than she intended for them to sound.
Micheal
Akira did exactly as she was told and listened to Lorelai, like a dog being trained how to behave after accidentally biting someone's hand while play fighting, or eating dinner's left overs. She took the bite, immediately her eyes lit up at the explosion of flavors. 

"Woah..." 

Akira focused on her meal, but the nurse's words didn't go unnoticed.

"Hmmm..." She hummed after taking a second bite. "Guess it's hard to not be... Times are hard and I just wanna protect my pa. I hate being useless."
David
She felt a burst of pride at Akira's delight over the food. She kept feeding her bites, waiting for her to chew and swallow before feeding another spoonful. 

"Well ya gotta rest up," She told her. "Otherwise, y'aint gonna get any better to protect yer pa. Understand?" She raised an eyebrow. "I want ya to just rest... Let me take care of everything for ya."
Helen
"I know this is your job.." Akira said, trying to use a trembling hand to clean up any soup left over from the corners of her mouth. 

"But it's more complicated than that, I think. I don't know what to do when you or other people are showing this much support." 

Well, with Lorelai particularly it was hard after what happened betw the two women. But Akira decided to push the memory back, and took another spoonful of the soup. 

"I do appreciate your kindness though.. Please never forget that, okay?"
David
She hesitated before she nodded, feeding her another bite of soup. She dropped her gaze to the bowl in her hand. "Yeah, sure thing. Won't forget it," She mumbled to herself, stirring the soup idly. 

"Yer a friend," She said softly. "So of course I care about ya a little more than my normal patients," She held out another spoonful of soup to Akira. "And I'm sorry about the last time," She said. "I shouldn't have... I think it was a mistake, cuz look at how it's made us behave after. Wont even look me in the eye," She said, with a soft, sad laugh. "I'm sorry."
Micheal
Apologizing. A mistake, Akira felt the pit on her stomach before taking another bite. 

She sighed before leaning in, cursing herself for acting the way she did. Her life was on the line, her future was uncertain, every decision she made led to people getting hurt, innocent people. 

How selfish of her. She hurt her father, she hurt the people of Briar Ridge, she hurt Lorelai. 

Even though Akira braced herself for the potential regret Lorelai would feel after that night, her heart still ached. 

"I think the one who should apologize is me... I should've had more control over myself..." 

Control, the thing Akira hadn't have in her life for months. 

"I'm your friend, yet I treated you like this... What kind of friend am I..?"
David
She shook her head and gave a weak sniff. "No, it ain't like that," She said softly. "I don't regret what happened between us," She said. "I don't regret laying with you. It was lovely, I enjoyed myself," Lorelai took a deep breath. 

She was tired of being disappointed and hurt. She was scared to love again— and here she was, falling right back into that same old habit. She really liked Akira, but it was clear the woman wasn't interested in anything more than a single night. How stupid could she be, to think someone could want anything more from her? 

"Don't worry your head about it none," She said quickly. "I just think we ought to put the whole thing behind us," Her voice wavered and she cleared her throat, trying to stave off the emotions. 

"Im just a little emotional, maybe I'm just tired," She said, holding out the soup spoon to her again. "Please, eat." She couldn't make eye contact with her.
Micheal
'content warning: internalized homophobia ' 

Akira bit her lower lip, hard enough to almost make it bleed. What the hell was she doing with her life, now? Coming to Briar Ridge was supposed to be a new start half a decade ago, but it seemed like misery followed her wherever she went.

She broke everything she touched, she was confirmed of that fear months ago.

"I don't regret it either." Aki said, clearing her throat as she tried to fix a smile. " It's just... Like I said, I can't have that luxury right now."

Love was a luxury in Aki's eyes. As she saw men and women holding hands and kissing, celebrating their marriages, the families they'd create together, the world celebrated them. Then, it was the same world that would turn around and tell her she was disgusting, an abomination, deformed. The circumstances of Briar Ridge made it even harder. 

Akira envied them, she envied those who could conform. 

She felt disgusting, she felt like an abomination, she felt like a beast chewing on whatever crumbs of affection she could get... If only she could understand her father's words...

"I do think it's for the best, though. I can't give more than what I've already given."

Akira couldn't give her love to any woman. She wasn't worth it, she was too much of a risk. To ruin Lorelai's life, anyone's life, was something she couldn't live with. 

Her voice almost broke as words came out of her mouth, her eyes burned as she made an attempt to focus on her meal.

Akira took another bite, a big one, using the strength on her jaw to pulverize the meat as if it belonged to another person's. She was angry, but at whom..?

The world? Herself? Both at the same time?
David
*Stupid.* Stupid girl, getting her head full of dreams. Maybe she was desperate to be loved; she felt like she wanted to just run and hide. How embarrassing; Akira must've thought she was a fool. 

"Course yer right," She said, focusing on the bowl. She had a lump in her throat and she focused very hard on the movement of her hand with the spoon. It was mechanical; she didn't speak as she continue to feed Akira, because that was her job. She couldn't back out of a job; she could just cry later, in the privacy of her own home. 

She didn't know why she was so upset; she had liked Akira, yes. But it felt like more than that. Maybe it was another rejection, or maybe it was because this felt like her last leap. She wasn't sure anyone would love her ever; was she destined for a life of loneliness? Was she so unlovable? 

She looked into the mostly-empty bowl and cleared her throat. "I should go on and clean up the kitchen while you get some rest," She said to her.
Micheal
If anyone in that room was a fool, it had to be Akira. Fool because every decision she made ended up with people being hurt, she was a fool for having tried to play the hero and failing so miserably, for thinking she could protect those in this godforsaken town.

And Akira was still a fool. She hadn't given up on her life just yet. Her hope was a thin thread that was kept together by a handful of people in her life who begged her to stay breathing. 

But she couldn't be fool enough to believe in love. Lorelai deserved something better than her. Her lips moved as she wanted to say those words so badly, but nothing came out, the phrase remained burnt in her mind as the nurse walked away. 

_You deserve something better. I can only cause you pain._

Akira nodded in silence instead, collapsing on her bed like the pathetical animal she was. 

"Fuck.." She whispered, allowing herself to shed some tears for what it could've been.
David
She had gotten up and left the room; her hands gripped the counter and she held in all the emotions that threatened to pour out of her. She sniffled; Lorelai was a sensitive soul, but she liked to retain a professional manner when working. She was having a very difficult time with it, clearly. 

She cleaned up the kitchen and set about doing little tasks to help; cleaning up some of the common areas, doing the laundry— she just wanted to keep her mind off of how painful everything felt. 

She felt raw, exposed. Lorelai couldn't feel more like an idiot if she tried. How could she begin to think anyone in this world would love her? She was a clumsy nurse with little prospect— how foolish. As she hung the clothes on the line, she felt her stomach twist. She hoped Mako would be back soon.
Micheal
With how little she could do about the situation, with how much she kept hurting people with every decision she made, Akira was only short to spiral into her darkest thoughts. 

Love was a concept she had to abandon, there was no way to think otherwise. But even then, being _alive_ was hard for Aki. 

Connections, attachments, all of that could be put away right in an instant as the storm within her heart grew larger. There was only one person in the world who could stop it, as he did many times before.

"I'm back~"

It was her father.

Aki was too weak to move from her bed, as she could only listen to the exchange between Lorelai and him.

"Sorry to take this long, Miss Roswell, these bones aren't the same they used to be!" He said with that large smile of his that could light up even the darkest nights. 

He was the light in Akira's life, the only reason she was still standing despite it all, it stopped her quiet sobbing, it stopped her intrusive thoughts, even if it was just for a moment.

"Let me know if you need anything." He said to the nurse. "And once again... Thank you for helping me take care of my daughter. God knows I can't do it on my own now."