Javier
Location: Eternal Elegance Casino
A meeting between two gods, one of curses and the other of the wilds. 

Pan had been asked to perform for the opening of a new club inside the casino, and runs into an old fling, though there is more to these two than meets the eye.
Oliver
Pan let out a soft sigh as he made his way through the loud casino, people cheering as they won, or the loud groans of frustration with louds shouts. The ringing sound of music playing as people tested their luck with slot machines. Pan didn't understand why he was here, no he understood, he had been offered a place on the stage to sing one of his new songs. He had decided Fantasy, Love is Banned, and Half of My Heart would be his best bet, since he would be performing at one of the restaurants in the casino. 

He didn't need to perform for a while so he was happy to enjoy himself and explore the large building, see whatever was doing, maybe play a few games himself. He looked around before finally spotting the tables, for poker and black jack. He passed by a roulette table, just as someone won, screaming out in joy and jumping into the arms of their partner. He couldn't help but stare at the couple, hugging each other. 

Pan couldn't help but feel jealousy seep into his skin at the sight, he could have everything he wanted... But that- love was never in his cards. He frowns looking away and curses. His mood sour a bit, as his heart hurt, he had loved so many times in his long life. Yet none of them worked out, he always believed he found the one only for them to laugh and leave him. Saying it was a one night stand, that they didn't like him like that. Pan slowly started to believe he was unlovable.

_ _
He had crushes, and fallen in love, but none- not a single one worked. Fate had been cruel to him in the past, forcing him to marry someone who didn't love him as her punishment. What about Pan? That was a punishment to him was it not. He remained faithful to her, waiting out the curse alongside her. He grew to love her but the love wasn't returned, it never is. 

He sighed sadly and turned. He started making his way to the Bar, he needed a drink to wallow a bit, he couldn't help but think of his stupidity, Friends with Benefits. He tried it, but it wasn't for him, he fell for his partners, and he... He can't handle that rejection. Pan cursed to fall so deeply in love with anyone who shows any form of affection to him. That's why his music always had a theme, love, falling in love with people. Even with so many years of rejection he keeps hope, though now it's dulling. Dimming. 

"No more love" He muttered softly, as he sat down on a seat at the bar, he ordered himself to drink, he hid his face in his hands. The drink was placed in front of him quickly, the Bartender was effective and quick, he took the glass and threw his head back. Taking a large gulp of his drink to feel something other than the full ache he got when he thought. He slams the glass down on the bar and orders another one. Not one to easily get drunk.
Roy
The carpet was a lot more plush than he'd expected after years of being walked on. His own leather dress shoes reflected the bright, moving light of the games, as well as his watch and his bright eyes. 
He walked behind each person at a table, the booths, or a seat, obviously in no rush and waiting for the fancy of a bet to call to him from a machine or the gaze of a dealer. It was obvious that his heart wasn't in it. 
He wasn't here to play a slot machine, not when he followed the Forest God from a hundred feet or so. Alastor's movements were lackadaisical, hair slightly mussed and his undershirt, a pretty burgandy underneath a dark grey suit, popped open one too many buttons. Pinks, greens and blues shown off his clavicle. 

He'd learned that Pan had sided with Athena earlier on when he'd asked, but the need to talk to him wasn't present at the time of initiation. 
Their relationship was... Complicated. 
Alastor wasn't ever truthful about his own feelings for Pan. He couldn't be. He *Wouldn't* Wager on that stack. 
What was once a Friend with Benefits relationship quickly devolved into something else. It had happened quickly, and without Alastor realizing it
 In the face of having to break his own heart, he agreed to end things when Pan brought them up. Alastor was genuine when he said: "I would never tie you down if you are unhappy. It's not my place."
They'd agreed on an entirely different set of rules before, but right then, Alastor felt something sink and lay heavy against the rung of his ribcage. 
When had he...?

Therefore, their time together was brief, and becoming shorter and less frequent with every passing moment. 
Until now. Alastor would be glad to have..."Run in" With the other. He wanted some information... And maybe an excuse.
Pan slammed his cup to the bartop and Alastor's eyebrows rose in curiosity of the Forest God's sudden vigor. 

**"Trying to drown out a demon? It's going to take more than imbibment... I learned to swim,"** He cooed, smiling

Cooly at Pan as he rested himself against the bar, his elbow propping him up.

**"It's been a long time, hasn't it? What are you doing in a place where betting on things is the main theme?"** 
Alastor's eyes couldn't help in the way they fell to Pan's lips, tracing the contours of his features back up to his eyes. The action was unapologetic.
Oliver
Pan hadn't noticed the other god had followed him the whole time, not till he spoke up, making Pan let out a soft gasp and turn to Alastor, Pan's mixed match eyes of a soft brown and milky white fell on the Alastors bright hazel blue. He looked shocked at the sight of one of his problems in front of him. Pan couldn't stop his heart from skipping a beat, and then tightening. Alastor, still as handsome as the day they last saw each other, so many centuries ago. Pan used his music as an excuse... The reality was he was scared of the god, scared of this feeling he gave him. Pan was flirting with danger, being with him, he was sure his heart couldn't take it. 

The years together in bed, laughing, talking, it only hurt more to think about the what if. Cause there was none, there was no happy ending if he kept going. They both agreed to it, Pan had been warned by his friends this wasn't for him, yet he did it anyway. Not falling in love with his sex partners once but twice. He should have seen it coming from how painful one night stands were to him. Yet here Alastor was, in his nice suit smiling at him. 

He licked his lip, removing the residue of the whiskey from his lips, "Alastor..." He started only to notice how he gazed at him, his eyes running down his body, he couldn't help but feel warm under his gaze, "It's nice to see you as well, handsome." 

He had to bring his eyes away from Alastor, as his drink arrived, he laughed gently, "I'm here to perform tonight at one of the restaurants, I'm singing my new songs from my album." He says gently, "What about you, you here to avenge someone of their money" 

Pan joked playful to the god of Justice and Retribution. His index finger tracing along the rim of the glass, as he lightly hummed. He couldn't face Alastor if he did, his heart might continue down a path even he couldn't bring it back from. He thought them being apart would help, but here he was desiring the other like always. Bad habits of a hopeless romantic.
Roy
*Handsome.* 
Yes, that's what Alastor was. It never sounded quite as good when it came out of stranger's mouths, but Pan pronounced it and his name like a lullaby. Worse than a siren's song. 
His possession of good looks had gotten him out of more than one situation, and *In* To plenty of other's. Not so much a curse, as it was a gift. 

Pan, on the other hand, was striking. Even with his ghoulish opaque orb, Alastor felt as if he could sense so much more. It caused shadows to conceal his heart, the spark in his own eyes dulling gently. He tried to look bored, even if he was excited.

**"I would never forget your ambitious career. You have quite the talent for it. I haven't seen much talent to come close to what you can under the spot light."**

Another compliment, to soften the blow of a business topic that was bound to follow. 

**"How much time do I have to have you for myself before your show begins? Depending on how pent up you are, I'll only need a moment.~"** 
Alastor gave him one of those charming smiles, the kind where it looked like his canine's should have been more pronounced, like vampire fangs. 
It was too easy to let the sexual tension build between them, and that should have clued the other God in to some of Alastor's wants. Though it was strategically hidden under the guise of flirting with other's. The God of curses liked to keep them guessing, even if he was being honest.

Whether Alastor was tessing or serious about whisking Pan away right now was completely up to the Forest God. Words were wrapped up in gauzy tulle, lid secured with a ribbon. Alastor wondered if Pan would gamble. 
They were in a casino after all..
Oliver
Pan looked at his glass and tapped it, before taking a sip of his drink, thinking on his words. His answer sat heavy on his tongue, he knew what he wanted but Pan was too much of a coward to take what was offered. He knew it wouldn't do them any good, toeing around the other, but wanting different things. Pan was sure that. 

"The temptation" He says, being playful as he turned to look at him, "I'm always pent up Alastor~" 

He then quickly looked away, taking another sip of his whiskey, he placed the glass down and then reached out towards Alastor the back of his fingers grazed against his skin as he reached some stray hairs, he pushed it back and in place. "But you know I don't do one night stands anymore, Sorry Alastor, your gonna have to find a new toy to play with" 

He winked at him with his blind eye, it hurt. Denying what he wanted, what they both wanted. His hand didn't move from where they rested on Alastors cheek. It was gentle, his eye ran down his face to his lips and features then his eyes again. 

"Alastor" He started, only to catch himself, and move his hand away placing it on his lap, "You have me for an hour, then I have to perform..." *I hope you will be there to watch me.* Was left unsaid, he couldn't bring himself to ask if he would watch him, already feeling like he toeing a line that was placed on the ground. 

"So, what is it that you desire of me, Alastor, besides the obvious?" He said playful and flirtatious, "Last time you said you need a moment of my time, you took 2 hours of it" He jokes.
Roy
Alastor forced himself not to move, not to grab Pan's hand and press his lips to his knuckles. He hadn't flinched, and would will his head to stay still. Their gazes met. Albeit, despite the Retribution Gods' cool exterior, his eyes were warm with a crackling fire of want. Still, he feigned disinterest.

He'd managed to keep collected, and the moment faded as Pan dropped his hand away. Alastor let the silence linger between them, glittering with unsaid words. 
He fingers slipped over the Forest God's glass, bringing it up to his lips for a sip. He was certain Pan wouldn't mind. They'd shared much more than drinks, and Alastor had a habit of helping himself.

**"Mm,"** The heat of the whiskey went down smoothly. 
**"I don't hear you complaining..~"** 
Alastor teased, in return. 

**"It's on every higher being's lips. Which side they've joined."** 
He gave a mock sigh. 
**"And Athena's roaster seems the most filled out. I've come to ask your angle. Why did you accept to fight on Athena's side?"** 

Ofcourse it wasn't about them, nor sex, but the war. Alastor wanted information on where Pan's true loyalties lie, and what he was fighting for. 
Blue hazel hues locked to the bar tender, tapping the table and ordering a brandy instead of a whiskey. With a cherry. 
It was the only kind he would eat, and what better a snack than a boozy snack?
Oliver
He watched as Alastor stole his drink, the way his Adam's apple moved, he remembered when he used to bite right there during their time together, he had bitten a lot of spots on this man's body. Pan looked away, and laughed softly.

"Ah that work" He says playful, and chuckles and shakes his head before smirking a bit as he watches him order his drink. He knew what Alastor wanted to know, "I was one of the first people to join Athena, because she doesn't want war. I don't want war, war causes problems for everyone." 

He sighs looking down at the counter and sighed, knocking his knuckles against the wood. "My only goal is to protect the Demi gods and mortals, and keep my animals safe from the gods' stupidity." 

When Alastors drink arrived he stole the glass before the man could take it and take it into his lip, sipping it. Stealing what was stolen first, his leg crossed on the bar stool, the gold bracelet visible. Alastor knew the bracelet was the only reason Pan looked human right now. 

"What about you Alastor, what's your reason to join our side" He says leaning close to him, he held the brandy out to Alastor to take if he wanted it. His face closed to the other male. He needed to stop this, stop tempting himself, but Alastor was always worth those temptations. "Why would the God of the underworld, wish to join our side" His voice gentle, "Risk the wrath of Hades"
Roy
The God couldn't even open his mouth to speak, or form any sort of reply when it came down to commenting on Pan's reason for wanting to end the war swiftly. 
As his drink was stolen equally as swiftly, and he only watched as Pan's lips cupped the rim and took the liquid into his mouth, down his throat...
Something akin to hunger dilated Alastor's pupils, and his eyes caught sight of the tattoos along Pan's chest. 
The moon called to him, stark in the center of the blackout that encompassed it. 
Alastor wanted to carve out some time to become reacquainted with the Forest God's body art, explore the new inked lines that decorated him. 
Every atom in his body screamed to take Pan right there. To take his lips and hoist him him up, forcing his legs to wrap around his waist and vanish. He wanted to rip that pretty peep-show suit and ravish him.
Warmth pooled in the pit of his stomach, and the impulse was nearly tipping the edge.

It had been awhile that Alastor had let himself sleep with another God... Or anyone for that matter. He was lucky to find a catch or two that weren't yet too drunk to be worth something. Didn't help the God of Retribution was entirely too picky. 

**"I do not tempt Hades' hand,"** He breathed, taking his glass back and licking over the rim where Pan's lips had been. He never broke eye contact. 
Alastor knew it would be so easy to give in, but he'd entice the hunt instead. 

**"Hades has taken a neutral stance, and if he wanted me to stay neutral as well, he would have told me. However, this never came to fruition, and Persephone never came to stake her claim on me either for her ranks. With the others on the list, I don't doubt that her victory of ending the war will be swift. I don't much care for drama anyways.."** 
Alastor shrugged. 

**"However, the war talk has bored me. You've offered me something more enticing. Will you be free after your show, or much too tired?"** 
The question was more to make sure that Alastor wasn't going to wait for

Something that would never come. Even if he wanted to.
Oliver
Pan bites his lips, watching him, his tongue then back at Alastors hungered gaze, his eyes never breaking away from him as he stares at him. His breath caught in his throat, his words trapped there, as he tried to speak, to tease play with fire some more. He shouldn't, he shouldn't accept. He'll fall even harder for the god if he does. 

Pan's own gaze turned hungry, his eyes staring at him, as his body shimmered, his horns began to show itself to the other god, jingles of jewels and gold on his head. His heart was racing.

 "Alastor..." He started, only to snap his mouth shut, looking down to the ground. To the mortals around his form still looked human but to the god before him he began to change in his eyes as he struggled to maintain his illusion to the god. His goat hooves clicked against the bar stool. 

Pan ears turned pointed, almost elf like, and twitched as he put his elbow on the counter, "I... I'll probably be sweaty... If that's ok with you. I could shower for you." His goat tail wagging behind him, he had been thankful that no one else could see him like this, see him lose control. 

Alastor really did have that effect on him, he needs to tell Eros to lay off the arrows. He was sure it was that dicks fault, "Just... One night" He says, more to himself than to Alastor. He will give into him for one night, it won't kill him. 

He slid off his stool, and leaned forward. Placing a gentle kiss on his lip at first, before licking that tempted lip with his tongue. "Your mouth is sin like always Alastor, will get you in trouble," He says against his mouth, he didn't seem to care if fans spotted him like this.
Roy
Pan's true form shifted for him, his will only so strong against the connection the two of them had. Alastor reveled in their game. 

The God had to admit that Pan was gorgeous in his true form, his horns being his favorite for... Reasons one could assume. 
His eyes darkened as the Forest God slipped closer, their lips meeting in a brief, yet electrifying kiss. Alastor hadn't closed his eyes for it, either. He wanted to see Pan, watch him, bore the heat of his gaze so far into him. 

Though the shadow of justice was silent, for if he spoke, he'd break every iota of collection he chained down in his core - to keep himself from pouncing. 
The moment that Pan's tongue ran over his lips, Alastor finally was reeled from his stone still position, a hand caressing the space between Pan's jaw and neck. 
He pressed his lips more fully to the other's, tasting the woody smoke of their respective liquors. Though, Pan always tasted like sunflowers smelled, and the mossy damp of the earth. It was intoxicating, and the closest that Alastor had ever felt to nature. 

He'd never admit it, but it grounded him and silenced his mind. 

Alastor's other arm fell from it's place on the top of the bar, sliding down Pan's hips. His cupped palm crest an arch from one thigh, to the other man's groin, to the other thigh in a teasing promise. 
He paid no mind to anyone else. They were not his focus.

Their lips had parted, but Alastor was still centimeters away, his hands pinning Pan in place for him. 

**"Sweat is no bother, but rather the shimmer of your passion. I want you when you are tired after success. Let me treat you to a reward after all your hardwork, my wilderness."** 
Alastor seemed to whisper though his mouth never moved. It came from no where and everywhere simultaneously. It filled Pan's mind, wrapping inky tendrils around him as a taste of what Alastor had caged away for him, waiting far too long to be let out.
His hands were reluctantly removed, as logistics came to mind. He wa

S already planning on how and where to whisk the other God away for just one more night. 

**"I will stay to see your show, so give it your all for me, hm?"**
Oliver
Pan was in his element once more, on stage center stage, performing for everyone. He loves music, loves the attention on himself when it happens, singing with fans who know the lyrics. The only time he feels loved, even if it's short lived for a moment. Moving to the beat of the song, swaying when the melody slowed. The mortals seeing his fake form, his mortal look, while Alastor could see past, see the illusion. 

Once it was over, the high still going, he waved to his fans, thanking them for being here. He began to walk away backstage, as the next act hit the stage, Pan didn't even have a moment before he felt himself being pulled away. He was about to strike only to realize who it was, as their lips touched. 

His eyes closed, then he felt weightless as the two of them fell through the shadows onto the bed. Pan's heart was racing, as he felt the plush bed on his back. His breath hitched as he reached out to the other god, and began pulling at his clothing then tearing his shirt apart. "Oops, I'm sorry-" He says against Alastor's lips, though there wasn't any remorse in his voice, holding that mischief tone he always had when they both are like this. 

He leans forward taking Alastors lips on his own again, wanting a taste of him, he moved across his cheek kissing where ever his lips can reach. Wanting Alastor as his for just a night, he knew it will hurt the next day when he wakes alone again, but he couldn't care right now. "Alastor" He says softly in that needy voice, as he rubs up against the man. His body is hot with need, and lust. To be filled with this man's desire. 

```FTB TO BE CONTUINED```
Roy
Alastor was still, letting his mind catch up to what exactly just happened. He could hear breathing, his own. His skin, their skin, sticky and trying to melt together. 
The after bliss was quickly turning too real. 
What had he said? 
He hoped he hadn't said much, if nothing at all...

The God of Retribution pulled away, sitting up. The motion wasn't too quick, leaving Pan bare and empty. He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyebrows, hunched over to let his elbows press into the tops of his thighs.

This wasn't an intimate moment. It couldn't be. 
Yet his heart... It was breaking faster than he could wrap the cool calculated shadows of antisocial darkness around it to temper the crash. It felt similar to someone throwing a plate against a wall.

It was just another "One more night." 
And Alastor slipped a perfect mask on, flawed in it's design, but a habit nonetheless, when he knew that he was letting someone too close.

**"Enjoyable as always,"** Alastor looked over his shoulder. The metaphorical mask allowed him to give Pan a handsome smile. 
But he needed answers, without giving too much away. 

**"Are you seeing anyone else, Pan?"** 
It wasn't the direct question to what he wanted to know. 
What Alastor wanted to know was were Pan's boundary was. How many times would he let the God do this to him, break himself over and over, only to recieve nothing (seemingly) in return? 
Alastor looked Pan in the face, awaiting his answer. He wouldn't look away from him, and he'd give each of them that much respect and grace.
Oliver
Pan felt him pull away, the moment gone, so quickly like before, and before that and before that-. There is no time where he hadn't wanted him by his side, lay with him till the night was over, hold him throughout the night. Praise him, love him, kiss him, say sweet nothings... But this was a game. This was something they played for such a long time. There were other players once upon a time, other people to help Pan dull that pain when Alastor left him at night cause Pan knew he could never have him. Pan came to understand that quickly. 

He turned over onto his side, too much of a coward to look at Alastor, to face him as he leaves, it hurt the first time, it hurts now. Alastor doesn't know how cruel his words are to him, how it hurts to say he enjoyed it and leave not once staying and praising him in bed, holding him like a lover he always dreamed of Alastor being. Pan wasn't as quick to hide, to put on a happy mask he so many years have put on after. 

The reason he gave up on this lifestyle, the hurt of being left alone in the morning, waking up in an empty bed. Pan wasn't made for this, as much as he pretends he is, he wasn't made for this type of loving, Pan falls too quickly and too hard at a sliver of affection. He remembered every name of every man and woman he ever slept with, but never chased after them because why, why chase them when they didn't love him. 

Pan opened his mouth, he had partners, he had friends with benefits, Eros had been one and he was a fool. A few women not that long ago, men, he kept feeling empty and ended things before he felt too much. He wanted someone to love, yet he couldn't find it in them. The one person he wanted to love him doesn't even remember him fully, doesn't even know this first meeting, a mortal man now dead and raising a god. Pan dreamed that he wasn't a coward, wasn't a faithful fool and had chased him then, told him he loved him then... But maybe he would have killed him faster, Pan love was cursed after all.

"I had a few, but it ended" He says finally, Pan curse always hurt Pan. Pan would be alone forever, never having that family he dreamed of with his wife. Never know what love returned would feel like, maybe if he wasn't a coward, a fool he could say the truth to Alastor. Tell him he loved him, Alastor chased him and died when Pan finally wanted to return it. 

"What about you, any... Lucky ladies or men?" He asked, trying to be strong, trying to have that pleasant conversation, as if it's not breaking him to know Alastor doesn't think of him, having others. What a hypocrite, Pan thought to himself, he hated when Alastor had lovers yet here he was having many long time ago. ~~only so he could forget him, Only so he could forget how good Alastor made him feel so many years trying to forget only to chase him still, and still too scared to confess~~
Roy
The God watched as Pan rolled over, unable to face him. He was hurt, understandably. However, not being able to see his face didn't make this any easier. It felt like a sign to go. To be pushed away... When all Alastor wanted to was lay back down, and hold him. 

That was unrealistic. 
It was being obvious that the God of Justice... Was holding the scale with a constantly changing weight. 
For every reason he had to hold Pan at arm's length were the same reason that he had to hold him tighter. 

*They were in a war, and Pan could be used as a bartering chip.* 
It would all hurt the same. Would it hurt worse if he lost him and never told him the truth?

*Had a few, but it ended..*
Had Alastor asked this question before? A sense of dejá vu was encompassing his mind.
If only he knew what Pan couldn't forget: their love in a past life. 
It was nearly written in the stars for them, but Alastor couldn't see it anymore.

**"No."** 
The answer was as naked as he was at that moment, trying to clue Pan in on the fact that he couldn't without saying it. 
It all boiled down to trust. 
In a war, the people you thought you adored would sell you off just to get the upperhand. It was safe to say that Alastor's trust was under lock and key. 

**"Just you."** 
He finally spoke, after a moment of silence, after weighing once more his options:
Run again, or face the consequences.
Oliver
Pan didn't face him still, keeping his back to him even though everything in his body wants to turn around and hug the man, to hold him and swear loyalty to him, but he can't. Alastor had locked that up, he didn't trust him like that, at least he didn't think he did. Who would trust Pan, Pan was a fool, a fool who knows his own worth which wasn't much. Wasn't much to love. 

*"Just you."*

Pan remained silent after his last part, quickly shut down, his head hurt his heart hurt. He wanted to cry so much after that, only Pan, the Wild God wanted to scream why did Alastor do this to him, break him so easily with his words. Why was Pan so stupid, why couldn't the other see how much he loved him, why was Pan a fool to this curse called love. He wished he wasn't a coward and found the Lethe river and drank from it, to dunk his head in the river screaming to forget everything that was Alastor and how beautiful he was when he smiles at him and says things so sweet it cuts his flesh. 

~~coward talk say something~~
_ _

Pan couldn't say anything, he was scared to, like always scared his voice would give away to a sob, a tear ran down his cheek. Thanking the gods Alastor couldn't see as he faced away. Pan closed his eyes and tightened up, curling up to himself. 

"I wouldn't have stopped you from finding others, you're a free man I won't chain you to me Alastor" He finally broke his silence, words he wished wouldn't escape his lips. He wanted to chain Alastor to him, he wanted him to stay by his side. To cling to him like he was one with the gods' flesh, unable to leave him. Pan knew- believed that Alastor would leave him for his thoughts, his desire for Alastor. He tried to hide his pain and love behind others sex, and tried to find love elsewhere. He always feared the day Alastor would find a lover, Alastor would leave him behind so he ran away, hoping to find someone else who could love him. 

A search that came fruitless, Pan decided he was a lonely god now. Only animals to care and love, it won't be the same, but he can be content with that, he wants to be content with that.
Roy
Only if Pan knew that his heart wasn't easy to obtain, that it was - in some way - chained to him. 
Alastor didn't know the extent of it himself. 

What kept other Gods from loving? 
Was there as much to fear he thought there was?

**"Sometimes I have dreams of running through a forest. Or running my hand in the ropes of Willlow trees, and I am at peace. The sun cascades through leaves, but I'm not alone. I have company, I can hear it in the way the forest floor moves, the crunch of twigs and acorns snapping. 
But I can never turn around. 
I never seen anyone else. Not in the reflection of puddles or little pools in the marsh we walk in. 
*I* Walk in."** 

Why was he saying this suddenly? Maybe to let Pan know that he trusted him. It was a dream he never told anyone else about, and talking without leaving like he had before had to mean something, right? 

**"Do I get to choose who is there? In that little capsule of serenity?"** 
The questions were rhetorical. 

**"Will you not stop me for my sake, or your's?"** 

The God of Retribution cut his air from escaping, tuning in to listen. But all he found was his heart again, too obviously in his chest.
Oliver
Pan froze hearing his words, his confession, the dream. The dream that was reality, a memory, a memory that Pan thought was lost. Alastor had access to Arcadia, any time even now the walls of Arcadia was his to enter, the woods would accept him like it was pan or the other spirits. So hearing him dream of their willow tree, their pond that he still goes to every year on the day of Alastors death crying waiting for him to find. 

Pan remembered the old days, chasing each other but not able to go far, yet here he asked him. If he could bring someone into his peace, what was there to stop, it was Alastor, it was Alastor's heart. He can't- he can't. He can't hear the rejection, his mouth open, almost escaping the words of love, the plea to not being anyone but him into Arcadia, to their spot. To love only him, to be chained to him, but he caught himself closing his mouth. 

He can't answer this trick question, why would... He stop him, why would Pan keep Alastor from what he wants. That has always been Pan, giving everyone else what they wanted... Or what he thought they wanted. 

"Never... I'll never stop you. The choice is yours" Pan says in a small voice, "The choice will always be yours... Bring whoever you want to that heaven you see in your dreams Alastor" 

Pan so blind by fear couldn't see, could stare at Alastor as he said those words. So scared of repeated rejection, loveless life. Pan couldn't stare at him as he spoke and couldn't face the god of Retribution. He cursed Himeros mentally, cursed the god for cursing his life of rejection, of unrequested love. Could Himeros leave him be, stop hurting him with Alastor bring him back in front of him to fall over and over again and feel pain. 

"..." He says in a small voice that couldn't be heard to the other gods. He hides his face away from him, biting his lip to keep from screaming, such an easy slip. He hated it. 

~~I'm yours. I'm always yours~~
Roy
Somehow that wasn't the answer Alastor wanted. He wasn't sure what he had expected when he so openly poured his secret out to the other God, but it seemed there was one. 
The Forest God didn't hear the echo that called from a time before. It slipped through his fingers like the dreamscape, and Alastor realized he was staring at his hands. He had went elsewhere for a moment. A respite, retreating into himself to stare into that wretched mirror that he saw nothing in. 
Nothing but a void. 

Now back in the present, he let Pan's answer weigh on his mind, let it soothe him. 
Expectations were a curse in and of themselves. To place such an expectation to Pan would not do him any honor, so he rid himself of it, reading between the lines. The true meaning of what it meant to be unshackled, yet still sacrifice one's self for.

Standing, Alastor pulled on what little of his clothes there was left - his pants that hadn't been shredded, and shoes and socks.
He pushed a hand through his hair, staring at the shadows as the beckoned him to fast travel home. 

He didn't hear Pan, but his skin rippled in a sudden chill. 
With the solid conviction that he understood the other God's mercy, he spoke.

**"Thank you for letting me choose."**

And he was stepping into the shadows, disappearing in their inky caress.
Oliver
Pan didn't know what to expect, he heard him leave, thank him for giving him a choice, a choice he knew he would never be the answer to. Pan hated himself, Pan hated how much it hurt. "I love you please don't leave me alone" He begged to no one, as the god he begs to is gone, into the shadows to his home. Just like Pan was, he was in their grove under that willow tree Alastor saw in his dream, their meeting place, their heaven to run away from kings and gods. Now it's his solace, his place of prayer. 

Pan's body shook as tears began to fall, the god let them fall, every time he did this, cry. Sex, it was sex, that's all they were. That's all the people he met were, he didn't have a One like others. He wouldn't have a wife or husband that loved him, being married to him was a curse... A punishment. Pan worked hard on being accepted within the Nymphs and Satyrs community. He wasn't accepted anywhere, not even the gods had welcomed him as a child, mocking him. 

"I love you, I love you, I'm sorry for loving you" He says in a small voice, "I'm sorry I'm not enough, I'm sorry for never telling you back then when we had a chance... I'm sorry for being such a loyal fool for someone who was cursed to marry me."

_ _
The woods were silent, no one around to hear the god plead to no one, beg for forgiveness like he does every time. Reminding himself he asked for this, he wanted this love. This single moment to feel some sort of love. He fell for every woman and man who fell in his arm only for it to end quickly, hoping to help scrub the large love he felt for Alastor. Yet the one feeling remained no matter how many people he fucked and loved. 

"If there is one thing I want, It's him, I won't ask for sons, I won't ask for daughters. Give me him please." He begged the shadows as he curled up tighter alone in the trunk of the willow tree, his knees to his chest and his face covered with his arms, alone in the forest of Arcadia. He felt small again, why did he do this again, he keeps breaking. "Why won't any you fucking gods answer my prayers. Give him to me, please, make him say he loves me, only me. I beg you, never let him bring another to our place, I lied to him I don't want him to bring someone to our heaven, never let him step foot in our groves with another. Let me cry in peace" 

"Alastor please... Love me, Please I beg you, Love me only me." He begs out loud words he never said to the god in his arms, all the tears and sobs echoing the woods as it crumbled. Arcadia held a somber tone as Its god cried, calling for its lover, who was dead and had forgotten him. The forest knew what Pan desired, what his heart held, the forest the mountain held sorrow for the god as it cried in his home.
Vanessa
``` end scene. And rip my heart out of my chest ```