Jose
The hearty laugh of his only friend soothed Alcuin's nerves somewhat. Even though she wasn't the most emotionally attentive of friends, she had a way of calming the young elf without even really trying. He was happy for the companionship of a friend *At all* And thus didn't mind the way she hardly left him alone. Her constant reliable presence kept him somewhat grounded, otherwise with his troubles of late he likely would've gotten lost simply from not paying enough attention to the world around him. But Yrsa tended to... Well, need tending, which meant he couldn't get *Totally* Lost in his thoughts. Somewhat miraculously, at least for him, he'd even gotten accustomed to all the little friendly touches she gave him. He didn't jolt or jump away from this pat on the back as he used to, simply trying to enjoy the closeness it symbolized as he feared less and less that Yrsa would leave him.
** **

The warlock listened closely to her words, feeling an initial dash of disappointment that it didn't seem she experienced similar things to him, at least, not like he'd hoped. Brows furrowed, he tried out the unfamiliar word out loud, **"Eikjarn..."** He stopped walking, looking at her with wide eyes when used the word 'bound.' Maybe it wasn't *Totally* Dissimilar. Her theatrics created the intended response, and he was soon laughing before continuing their leisurely stroll as his eyes cast about for the corpse flower. He nodded along in understanding as she continued to speak. **"I can certainly relate to the hunger... Though I've never hungered to cause pain, to hurt** Anything **Before. It's still very foreign. I struggle to admit that..."** He sighed, eyes looking somewhat distant, **"I** Like **It."** A wry smirk graced his lips, **"I do hear actual voices that aren't there... Be glad that you don't. Although... It's been quiet in my head, lately."** His brows furrowed with his concern. 
** **

Blinking away his own troubles, Alcuin regarded her curiously, **"What do you mean, 'why you left?' Because you were too angry, you mean?"** Her words swirled around in his head. She was bound to a forest guardian, which *Sounded* Druidic, but he was certain that wasn't what was happening with her. Between her mannerisms, the stench, that strange magic he noticed in her clothes while they were in his home... Could she be, somehow, not entirely human? Or was it a curse? Regardless, he knew she was at least as much bear as she was human. The two seemed difficult to separate at times.
** **
Yrsa mentioning harming friends shot into his attention like hot lightning. He looked up at her with an expression of vulnerability. His voice was soft and small, **"You too? Gods, I've been so scared that this thing that has a hold of me..."** He hesitated, wondering if it was too much to say out loud, but then deciding it *Had* To be said, **"I have to do what I'm told, Yrsa, and... I'm so afraid it will ask me to hurt you."** His sad eyes were downcast, unable to look at her. **"I won't do it, I'd rather die first, but... I don't yet know what happens if I disobey."** He let the words hang, still somewhat fearful of her response despite both their bond and his certainty that she could easily take him, if it came down to that.
** **

The mention of the mushrooms perked him back up again, and the alchemist's face became thoughtful. **"I believe we have those here in the south too. Well, south considering your origins. But it sounds like a recipe! You must tell me all you remember about what he made with the mushrooms."** He nodded enthusiastically, **"Oh, but what effects did it cause in him?"** He wasn't going to tell her no; she was so excited. But he began to feel somewhat wary about what exactly he had agreed to.
William
Thus,... At last, some secrets were laid bare. While Yrsa and Alcuin got along swimmingly so far, their metaphysical curse appeared to be that while they seemed to carry that trust for one another, they also didn't actively challenge each other. They appeared, in effect, enablers of each other's behaviours; Alcuin was allowing Yrsa to stay in her shell of dependency, continuing to rely on *'someone else'* By taking care of her in the manner he had.

Meanwhile, the ursine berserker appeared as a gateway for the budding warlock to obscure his fears and hesitations. He was already capable of wielding some very dark forces, and he admitted to the urges that would have left his old self appalled. Another friend may have confronted him with that, forcing him to come to terms with it, reject it, or do... Do **Anything**, but that wasn't Yrsa. Isolation and being forced to THINK.. To ponder on some things, wasn't that *His* Greatest enemy? And by taking care of her like he had, wasn't he pushing that envelope further and further?

He'd have to confront it sooner or later, right? But maybe that wasn't so bad after all. What Alcuin was doing, what his companionship *Meant* Was that the berserker had been given a bit of **Time.** She had mentioned her *Uncle* A few times in passing by now and spoke about him in a manner that seemed to imply .. Reverence? Dislike? Well, whatever it was, she did speak of him fondly. And while it might be better just to.. Embrace those things, to come to terms and stand on her own two legs, .. Maybe..

She didn't feel ready for that yet. She was happy. There was a part of her that was still grieving and sad, but she never really focused on the bigger picture. She always focused on the here and now. And while she didn't really 'get' some stuff, she did comprehend Alcuin's overall state. She didn't get nothin' about some weird talking spectre demigod what have you but she *Did* Get that it seemed to occupy her friend a lot, that it probably tied to his depression, and that..

Well, this was the first time *Ever*, **Ever**, since the 'bathtub incident', that they.. Actually spoke! Earnestly! You know, without cutting corners and just leaving it up to emotions! Yrsa's icy blues had been resting on him while he talked, looking at him with her trademark curiosity - retorting with a brief 'huh', 'right..!' and 'uh-huh?' every now and again. She tended to be more of an active listener than someone who stayed quiet and waited for him to finish. But his words and how he spoke them were pretty heavy. Her usual manner of talking was surefire rapid responses, but right now? She was giving stuff more thought. Her footsteps halted, and her eyes went to.. Her palms? She turned her hands about and held them somewhat lax, simultaneously trying to think of the words while she spoke - a.. More hesitant way of speaking! But still with her usual vigor; **"I think, perhaps, this is not so strange."**

She nodded. Actively thinking stuff over, when she did speak, she sounded pretty confident about it- like, that's what Yrsa knew, and that's how she felt from her perspective.

"It is like.. Your veggie-thing. Vegataria?? I do not recall the word. It is too silly. It is nice, maybe, to not eat meat, BUT.. It is also very delicious, and good for you. I would not be this strong without meat!" The warrior nodded once more and grinned to herself, tensing her hands into fists. She looked up and sideward at Alcuin because he was still on her right flank, and she suddenly.. Clapped her hands together in resolution! With a few paces, she got over to a random tombstone and leaned against it while shooting her Elven friend a relaxed, pointing gesture.

"Ah-ha! I have decided this, my friend Alcuin. Usually... YOU are the storyteller, and you tell good tales. I know this to be true." She paused briefly and then jerked a thumb at herself. 

"BUT.. This time, I shall tell the tale. I, too, am good at telling stories. And I like bards. They are funny."

Yrsa briefly hovered on her tangent, visibly occupied by the thought of a 'bard'. She really wanted to run into one again soon! Anyway, it only occupied her a second, and she snapped her attention back to her warlock ally.

"Uh.. YES. So, where was I? So.. I shall tell this. I am from a village! .. It is called, uh, 'village'. They did not know how to name things. But, you can get there by first .. Going that way-" She pointed to the north-east.

"First, one must travel, I think, three full moons! And you will pass the big mountain. That is the large mountain before the elf-land. And then, you will be in the white snow plains. From there, it is another.. Ten moons. It is east, then north, then east, then north... Then further north! Long, long way from here."

As per usual, she was *Terrible* At describing these things. But it had her set the tone well enough; wherever she was from, it was far from any of the Empire's borders.

"The witch-seer said, once, in that wood .. There was a mighty forest spirit ghost. Eikjarn- who lived for a long time. I don't know how long - she said this, but I forgot. BUT THEN.. DISASTER." She threw her hands upwards, adding spooky noises to try and sound *Extra* Fantastical.

"Something-something lumberjacks and the mighty Eikjarn DIED. But, the dad who I am to dad was not the dad but actually the Eikjarn was the dad which upset the other one and pitchforks. Therefore, I left. And joined my uncle, who was insane. He is not my real uncle. But, he is nice enough to be. However, he was also bad." She scratched her head, still unsure whether to put him in a good or bad light. 

A bit of both?

She huffed briefly and quickly skipped over to the rest of her tale.

"You, I think, will not know this .. But, he was berserkir! Mighty warrior! He was but a man. Yet, I say this truthfully; he was.. Okay, well, maybe I was stronger - but he would kill a Troll like that really quick! I mention this because HE told me these things; .. It is *Normal* To want to kill.. And murder!! When I hunt ELK.. I do not think of the elk, BUT I respect the strong elk who fights back. This is the way. He would.."

Yrsa mimicked the gesture as if quaffing down a potion.

"He did not make the berserkir potion. But, he had the recipe and told witch-seers to make this. When he drank this, made from the mushroom, he would become VERY strong - he would become even more insane, and take arrows, and get chopped, and he did not care. Before the potion he was strong! But.. With the potion, he was RAAARGGHH.."

... Her poor description aside, she seemed to allude toward some sort of.. Hallucinogenic concoction? There were plenty of potions that drove madness and allowed their imbibers to come across as physically invincible. And then the mushrooms Yrsa referred to often had hallucinogenic properties! Specifically, red mushrooms with white spots-

The only one that grew with some regularity, which had *Those* Properties, in both Yrsa's home and these mountainous ranges, was the fly agaric, literally one of the most common mushrooms of that type!

She shrugged and conclusively patted her right fist down upon her left palm.

"My uncle said this, and maybe, it'll be like that for you too... Alcuin! You KILL.. SLAY, DESTROY, BURN .. But only the things that are worth this effort! Therefore, it is GOOD.. To wring the necks of Goblins. But it's less good to kill your friends! Maybe, our thingy is probably different, but.. If we kill the good things, then, the people will not mind this. And also, you do not need to worry because I will explain this now; if you feel like I am the killable, then, I will transform .. And I will be very hard to kill! That way, you may be dangerous yet also safe. But, we probably want to be careful with this around weaker people, I think."

.. What... What a **Terrible* Ideology. But it wasn't *Just* Her uncle's words. And she manifested that by that little streak of confidence when she spoke about it. She had given Alcuin the rundown of who she was and where she came from - probably enough for him to figure it out. Her duality between bear and human also brought another ethical dilemma to the table; .. People usually consider *Killing* The act of taking the life of another *Person.* To hunt and kill was usually not held in the same league or categorization. However, for her? There wasn't that much difference between taking the life of a big animal and killing a random soldier. She almost seemed to revel in it! Simultaneously, it was more like a silent recognition of what she considered fundamental to life.

Yrsa folded her arms.

"I think.. You just need to let loose sometimes! Then, it'll be better later on!"
Jose
The berserker's words hit Alcuin like a drink of cold water on the hottest of summer days; both a shock *And* A relief. He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding with a big huff. Once again, he was incredibly glad of her understanding, and he was in no position to question the how or the why of it; he was simply happy to *Have* It. He couldn't help a smile breaking out across his face, soft chuckles escaping, as she talked about his vegetarianism. She wasn't going to forget that, was she? And he began to wonder... Did it even matter anymore? It was somewhat a cultural thing for the elves. Many did not eat meat but there were those that would occasionally partake of fish or fowl, and of course there were those that ate whatever they wanted. But by and large, they worked to live in concert with nature, and the slaughter and consumption of wildlife just didn't quite further that goal. But now... He knew whatever resided within him would only demand more and more death. Was he really protecting or preserving *Anything* Anymore? His chocolate eyes rested on Yrsa for a while; yes, there was at least *One* Thing, if *Only* One thing. 
** **

Once Yrsa got that twinkle in her icy blue eyes, the warlock knew he should stop and observe; she was up to something, and it would likely be quite fun. He stopped to face her, regarding her with crossed arms that spoke more of relaxation, not at all of judgment or boredom. His expression was entertained, truly lit up, as he listened to her speak. Unlike his ursine friend, he was a very good, very quiet listener. If she wasn't looking at him she would miss the occasional nod that signified either agreement or understanding. He only emitted the rare hum as any noise to indicate he was listening. While he knew her home was far away, he found he was surprised by how *Very* Far it actually was. He couldn't help asking aloud as she began talking about the forest guardian, **"How could mere lumberjacks fell something so mighty? Seems odd..."** Surely a being of such power would require more to kill it; but what did he know? He began to get lost and confused in all the dad-ing and held up his hands waving her to stop for a moment, **"Wait, wait, wait! Are you saying... The Eikjarn was your** Dad **?!"** His eyes were wide with curiosity and confusion, **"I get the bit about joining your uncle, though."** He could see her distress related to the uncle, so he simply said with some solemnity, some empathy for her sadness, **"It seems like he meant a lot to you,"** And left it at that.
** **

Deciding to address the more important, less emotionally-wrought topic first, the alchemist spoke a little warily, **"It sounds like the sort of brew that might have potent results but terrible side effects... Sometimes, the potency of such things is** Because **Of what it does to you."** He became quite serious, a little somber, for a moment, **"Are you ready for your greatest fears, your worst nightmares, to be the things that fuel you into such a powerful state of rage? Because that's likely how it will work. You'll see things, feels things, that may not be entirely pleasant... You may not always be terribly connected to reality."** He sighed, **"And you may find it harder to keep control, to not hurt the people you want to keep safe."** He held her gaze steadily, his eyes full of his care for her, **"But it's your choice, of course. If you want me to try this brew, I'll try it for you. I won't deny you this thing you've sought for so long... I have no right to."** As a healer, this went against every instinct he had. But... He was ready to accept that he was leaving that life behind. While he'd do what he could where he could to help others, he was no longer *Really* A healer, a preserver of life. He was learning to become more of an ender of it.
** **

Running his hands through his messy hair, Alcuin heaved a heavy sigh. **"I think I see your point, but... That's just not how I was brought up to think. We elves are taught to respect** All **Life, it's part of why I haven't eaten meat. Yet... I know I can't deny this thing in me. And I also can't keep denying that I** Like **Feeling powerful... That it's just as satisfying, maybe more, to choke the life out of something as it is to ensure a soul stays put."** His golden brown eyes were glassy, full of the conflicting joy and grief he felt at this transition already uncontrollably underway. **"For now, yes, I think I will focus on killing the** Right **Things... But I fear that won't be something I can do forever... That eventually more will be required of me."** Attempting to shake the dark mood, he shot her a smirk, **"I could certainly use some letting loose."** Looking around, he continued their walk as he thought out loud, **"Surely a place this dank and musty would have some of your mushrooms somewhere... Then again, maybe that's just you I smell."**