James
Ares had set out with a plan. A plan that sunk his core deeper than the earth and plagued his mind with worry. Rarely was the boy ever so irrational, yet the panic still stuck to his skin like thorns that made his nerves shake. 

*Trust them. They'll understand.*

*They'll hate you forever. He wont ever forgive you. You're irredeemable.*

His breath laboured, slow in and a shaking slow out, he felt hollow and empty. His ribs lighter, his veins pulsed and pounded with his quickened heartbeat that screamed in his ears. Ares could not comprehend he would speak of the incident. He didn't want to. The teeth in his mouth felt tied shut, heavy and locked. 

Fin was beside him on their bed. Recovering, and definitely in pain, but Ares couldn't keep it a secret any longer. The recent situation with Mimir made Ares' hidden hypocrisy shiver with the fear of being seen. The two had already hugged, gave their usual introductions, a few forehead kisses, and now all that was left was to do what Ares showed up to do. 

The tan boy placed his hand on top of the others. His palm was warm against Finley's cold knuckles. 

"How're you feeling, amor?" The words were quiet. Soft from his usually sharp tongue.
Shawna
"Better than yesterday," Said Finley, giving him a small smile, taking Ares hand in theirs and giving it a little squeeze. "Thank you for checking on me. I know, it's like, the bare minimum, but. Still."

The back of Fins head hurt like a bitch, a dull thrum where they'd fallen and cracked open a wound. They were told to rest, and rest well, and something in Fins chest rested easier knowing Ares had been beside them the whole time, protecting him from whatever powers that be.

But something — Finley knew Ares better than anyone, or they supposed they did — something tightened up his jaw, sent his eyes flickering elsewhere. And while Fin was still a bit loose-screwed, they wanted to know. 

He squeezed his hand again. His voice was soft, slightly lower than a normal volume.
"But you? You've been so tense. Is it just–... Is it Mimir, or me? You're doing a great job of helping, and, like, making, well at least me, feel better."

He looked up at Ares, and tried to meet his eyes. 

"What's bothering you, cherie?"
James
Ares held Fin's hand, gently in his own, and brought it close to his lips to plant soft kisses along their knuckles. A pained expression lingered on his face, but still he needed to show them how much he cared. 

"Im glad you're feeling better than yesterday, cariño." 

To hear them speak so softly, with such compassion and care, it already soothed his shaking nerves. Ares knew they loved him. Somewhere within his mind he knew Fin would understand. More than anyone. They have to. *They have to understand.* Surely Finley wouldn't be scared of him, not after everything. The thoughts were irrational, Ares knew this, but they haunted every second of his life. Every action he made, every gesture that was just a little too loud, Ares worried somewhere deep within his mind, that he was exactly what they labelled him as. *A monster, an aggressive freak, an animal.*

Ares kept Finley's hand in his, as it rested between them. 

"Its not you, or Mimir— I'm genuinely glad that I have been helping, I am trying to be where I can— but I... It's something else." Ares took a deep breath, his lungs felt hollow with unease. 

"I've been needing to... Admit something to you for a while. I haven't told anyone— its been over a year and no one has gotten close to understanding." 

"To be honest with you, I'm scared. I'm scared it will change the way you think of me— and I'm scared you will hate me for it." His brow tensed. He felt the bitter sting of tears in his throat, but the boy pressed them down. 

"More than I hate myself for it." Another breath. "...I think it's important you understand how much I regret what I'm about to tell you and how much I wish everyday that I could change it." 

"But I can't." Ares sighed. "So I need to stop avoiding it."
Shawna
Fin tried to sit up, immediately, wincing at the stiffness in their muscles and the little bristles of static that crept off the edges of their hair. He was, after all, a lightning rod. He rapped his knuckles idly on a piece of metal the school had kindly provided for him to get rid of excess static.

"My love," They said, their eyes low and steady like their voice. "You could tell me you were set to burn the world to the ground, and I'd still go with you."

And it was true. Fin would go anywhere, follow him into any hell he chose to traverse (if only he'd stop going there). Why shouldn't he? Wouldn't Ares gave done that for him? 

He would, and Finley knew it in their bones. 

They reached over and picked up Ares's other hand in their own, bringing both sets of scarred knuckles up to their lips for a moment, if only to reassure him. This boy was the love of his life. He'd do anything to make sure Ares knew that. Their voice continued, softer.

"You've never scared me, you know? Ever. I don't think you ever will. Tell me anything you feel comfortable telling me. I'm here to listen to you."
James
```CW: Homophobia, threats of forced outing.```

Ares looked at Finley, a pain dripping from his tensed brow. He took a deep breath, nervous eyes darted around Fin's face, studying every slight expression change. 

A part of Ares prepared for the worst. Bracing for impact— as he had done on the way home from the same incident he was about to finally come clean for. 

"Well... I realized I never told you how I got sent here." Ares' voice shook under the monotone words. He tried to disconnect from the fear that snuck up his throat and clawed at his teeth. 

"I haven't... Told anyone. I think only my siblings know the truth." 

The boy remembered his sisters anger— his brothers disbelief. Neither of them wanted to let him go at the airport. They believed it wasn't his fault. *Were they wrong for that?*

"But— like I said— you deserve to know."

Swallowing his doubt, Ares knew he had to confess. 

"I really hurt someone. Like. Extremely bad." He looked down at the hands that so gently held into Fin's. The scarred knuckles and calloused palms that were so loving with the other. *Would he betray them too?*

"There is this girl I knew from my childhood, Jocelyn. I knew her since I was young, and she watched me grow up. Which means she saw... My increasing disinterest in girls when I was young. She saw how little I cared for them all throughout middle school— and she... Well she really hated that." 

His voice got less sure with every word. It was obvious this was painful to utter out loud. Only ever did this event repeat in his nightmares, never in his own voice. 
_ _

"She had a lifelong crush on me, ever since we were kids, and she basically thought she had dibs on me because of it. She wanted me for herself, and was very angry I didn't feel the same way."

Ares knew what he had to say next. This wasn't some happy story where he turns her down and she accepts it and finds someone else. *Far from it.*

*Stop stalling, Ares. Fess up. You can't avoid this forever.*

"... So one day, she cornered me out behind our school

...

And she told me that... I had to date her or she would tell everyone that I was gay. 

...

I didn't even *Know* I was gay— I didn't know what it meant to not like girls, I- I thought she just wasn't my type." 

Clearly, Ares was starting to get worked up, but he paused and let out an anguished sigh. 

"Homophobia is horribly common at my school— mostly gay dudes in particular were ruthlessly picked on. Gay girls could kind of get away with it, but not the dudes. They were seen as weak, and lesser— yknow the usual. The thought of being part of that scared the shit out of me— especially with my already bad reputation— and *Jocelyn knew that.*"

The grip on Finley's hand grew stronger. 

"I wanted her to shut up... I swear thats all I wanted..."

His head tilted slowly, until his forehead was pressed to Finley's knuckles. Asking for forgiveness he had not yet revealed the reason for.
Shawna
"Oh, Ares. I'm so sorry."

Finleys voice was half a whisper, their shoulders tense as bowstring. "I'm so, so sorry – you didn't deserve that. You never deserved that."

 They leaned down and kissed the top of Ares's head, lingering there a moment before he sat up, putting their other hand over Ares's and running a thumb over the back. Some slight discomfort may have disturbed their other hand, the one being squeezed, but he couldn't particularly bring himself to mind.

Fin did realize they hadn't heard everything. They knew that. So, they took a deep breath, gave Ares's hand a squeeze, and said, "It wasn't your fault. Whatever it – I know you said you, you hurt someone, but – you wouldn't do that on purpose. I know you wouldn't. I just, um. I want you to know that, okay?" 

A tinge of something like nervousness pricked at them – not out of any kind of apprehension, or fear of their beloved, but a nervousness that they wouldn't believe him. Fin wanted him to believe him – to believe it wasn't his fault, that he was a good, kind person. 

But Fin hadn't heard everything else yet. There was something else – he could hear it in Ares's voice. They leaned down and kissed his head one more time, taking a moment to run their fingers through his hair. 

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I'm here either way."
James
```CW: descriptions of violence```

Ares felt a sting behind his eyes, guilt and pain pressed against his skull in a deafening cry. All of it threatened to pour out— yet he kept pulling himself together with shaking hands. 

"It wasn't on purpose... Well half of it wasn't on purpose."

The reassurance of their touch, their arm resting against him, it was all so comforting. The fear that had plagued Ares for almost two years now didn't feel like such a daunting unfaceable terror. It felt... More like something he could manage. He hoped that feeling would not be ripped out from underneath him. If he had to do this alone— if Fin for some reason decided the ending of this twisted story was too much to bear, Ares wouldn't know what to do. The thought terrified him. 

Yet he kept speaking. 

"I went to smack her— I hated everything she was saying. She was so full of *Bullshit* And I wanted to show her I wouldn't take any of it."

He sighed, his brow flickered with hesitation. Finally, the part that messed Ares up good, was going to be said out loud for the first time since it happened all those months ago. 

"My powers... Manifested right then and there—

...

I burnt more than half her face. Clean off— with an explosion from my own hand. There was so much blood, I swear I saw bone... I cant get the image out of my head." 

Ares inhaled sharply. His voice was barely there, he was finally letting a harsh truth he knew he couldn't hide from anymore seep through his teeth. 

"I didn't want to hurt her—" Tears pooled on his lower eyelids. "*God, I've done bad things but nothing as bad as that.*"
Shawna
A kind of stunned silence took over for a second, Fin staring at Ares with a kind of abject horror taking over their features. And, it was horrifying to hear – someone permanently disfigured and scarred. It was tragic all the way around. Fin imagined a younger Ares, realising the weight of what he had done, seeing the amalgamation of what used to be Jocelyns features. He thought about how scared he must have been, being ripped from California all the way here. They thought about how afraid *They* Had been – and, though they'd fucked up, it wasn't anything like that. 

What a terrible, terrible story.

In even in Fins concussed, addled mind, though, they knew Ares wouldn't have done *That* On purpose. Nothing like that. 

With a little wince, Fin reached over and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, laying their head against his, somewhat awkwardly from how they were propped up. 

"It wasn't your fault," He repeated, believing every word. "You didn't mean for that to happen. You had no way of knowing. You had *Every* Right to get angry, amor, I can't even imagine how much that – Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault. I believe that, and I want you to believe it too, okay?"

They sat back and cradled his face in their hands, eyes filled with tears of their own. They leaned in and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, okay? It wasn't your fault. You'd never do anything like that again, and I know that. You should too.:
James
A sudden wave of relief washed over Ares in a emotional tidal wave that made him want to crumble and sob into Finley's caring arms. 

Instead, all that remained, was the ghost of a tear in the corner of his eye. 

He knew he was safe here. He didn't have to let her control his life anymore. He had someone that loved him more than she ever could— centuries and galaxies worth of affection and care deeper than space and time that never seemed to end. Whatever power Jocelyn had over Ares, was slowly fading. The chains that held him down were rusting, they would soon break. It would take time, effort, patience and strength but Ares would break them. He didn't want to live like this anymore. 

Ares wanted to recognize how deserving of love he is, and how deeply he loves in return. 

That he isn't a monster. 

Although, the boy knew there would always be something deep down within him that uttered all of the nasty things he had been told, he hoped that eventually he would have enough evidence to fight against it. Already he could feel it, pooling between his ribs like sunlight itself. 

"I love you too... So much." Ares adjusted himself to properly hug Finley. Now, they were pressed comfortably against his chest, with one of his hands resting softly on their back and the other curled into his soft blonde hair. 

"I was... So scared you'd hate me." He spoke softly, and lowered his head to meet Finley's gaze. 

His hands moved to their cheeks, softly resting against their jaw. He held their face in his palms like he had the world at his fingertips. *He did. They were his entire world.*

"I appreciate you more than anything cariño, you mean everything to me."

He sighed. "I know it's going to take a second to process— I understand. I can promise you with all that I am certain, you're right. Nothing like that will ever happen again. Once was already too much."
Shawna
"I know it won't," They said. "I have full faith in you - in you, and your good heart, and your words, and your music, and your crazy, batshit powers. You're not - you're not that person anymore. You've grown so much, in, like - two years? Three? I dunno, but - I'm really, really proud of you, okay?"

Finley grinned up at him from their cozy place in his arms, hoping that something in their smile was reassuring. And he really did believe it - Ares had grown, quite a bit. He was grateful to have seen it happen, in it's slow, but dutiful wave of progress.

From the very, very beginning, back when Ares was a common-place annoyance to them and nothing more, Fin had found no fear, standing before this loud, angry figure, smarting off at the mouth to him at nearly every available opportunity - but no fear. Never any fear. Not even trepeditation. 

And rather it had been folly, or bravery, on Finley's part, they had been granted a space around him first with begrudging respect, then acquaintanceship, then friendship, and then the jittery, pink clouds of feeling had sent flocks of nervous butterflies straight to their stomach. The cool, soothing balm of what they had now smoothed over the rougher edges of Fin's attachment style and, for certain, helped them mellow out, or, at least, they hoped so.

"Take all the time you need," They told him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, and I want to stay here for like, a really long time, you know? We gotta see the world together, remember? The beach, in Puerto Rico - I've never seen it, and I bet Owen would love it, too."

They were rambling, a bit, and they knew it, but, they couldn't really bring themself to mind. He liked thinking about it - a future, decidedly *Not* In Sweden, but with the people who meant the most to him nonetheless. 

"And, France. I have to show you Lille - I think you'll love it."
James
Ares looked at Finley. He felt conflicted. There was a moment of ease, of what felt like a weight rising off his shoulders and then the sudden crashing guilt that this was all *Too good* For someone like *Him.*

Finley was too quick to forgiveness. All of Ares' unease yelled at him to back up, protect himself, throw back up his gnashing teeth and claw his way back into where he was safe; where he was alone. 

Yet he didn't. His hands shook, ever so slightly, almost completely unnoticeable. The calloused, scarred hands, that pressed their palms so softly into his lovers cheeks, were hands of destruction. 

It would take a lifetime for Ares to unlearn that. 

It would take a lifetime for Ares to understand his hands were capable of love. 

His hands, now, were gentle. They held Finley's hands, his jaw, they ran through his blonde hair despite the permanent mark of aggression that stretched across his knuckles like lightning in a raging storm. 

"Yeah... We'll see the world. You can show me France, as many times as you want."

He wasn't sure if he could trust it. He wasn't sure if he could trust anything. Ares awaited the sour sting of everything falling away under his feet— sometime within the future. 

Maybe doomsday would come, maybe it wouldn't. He would simply have to see. 

How wonderful would it be if Finley was promising a certainty— and less of a dream. 

"I'll try to make sure we do."