conversations.from: system
conversations.value: This game will be a very lighthearted take on cheesy kung-fu and action movies, set in a Chinatown knockoff; terrible (and potentially nsfw) puns, impossible fights, and maybe even a little magic will be the order of the day.
  
  Setting:  This will be set in Hongkongyo Town; a little Chinatown knockoff with a big problem.  Recently, the Windowless-Van corporation has taken interest in local businesses, offering the businesses pennies on the dollar for their property.  The Candyman Corporation is infamous for their signature product, a spray which gives cocaine the flavor various sugary candies, and it is believed they are looking to bulldoze large parts of Hongkongyo Town to build new factories to produce this insidious product.
  Now, suit clad strangers with ominous words have begun showing up in town, recommending the business owners take the deal while they still can...
  
  Players:  3 - 5, with variety being favored
  
  Other info:  This will be my first time as a narrator, so any questions or advice are welcome.  Players should feel free to pick from the cards I've pre-created or make their own (I think reading through what I've already made will give you a pretty good sense of the tone I'm looking for).  Feel free to message me with any other questions you might have.
  
  
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: One Liners: You are able to pull off the amazing, the improbable, and even the impossible with style, but have to end your moves with a one-line pun.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Scrappy Youngster: A plucky and tough youngster who adapts to face new challenges.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Underestimated: Something about you tends to make both allies and enemies underestimate your abilities, which you use to your advantage.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Z Warrior: It's hard to tell whether you are constipated or just powering-up, but it's certain that you scream a lot.  You are a highly capable individual, though you feel a compulsive need to create names for your actions and scream them out loud.  You have been kicked out of several restaurants due to your "MIGHTY DRAGON'S VIGOROUS APPLICATION OF HOTSAUCE TECHNIQUE!"
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Old Person: You've seen things.  You've done things.  You'll make these damn kids today see the way things are, and nothing makes a better teaching tool than a smack to the back of the head.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Just like that time...: You suddenly realize that the current situation is just like something in your past.  Was it what happened with that gang seven years ago, or maybe it was something you saw in an episode of Ultra-FuManChu-Rangers-7?  Whatever it was, it gives you sudden clarity about how to handle your current situation.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Reformed Badass: It might not seem like it now, but you used to run with a pretty tough crowd back in the day.  Some serious shit happened back then, and you've got the skills to prove it.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Completely Average Person: What the hell is this? Why are people fighting? How did you end up dragged into all this? Everything was so predictable, so routine before now.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Basically a Perch.: You may be interesting and useful in your own right, but no one can ever seem to remember anything specific about you as you are overshadowed in every way by the animal companion which accompanies you everywhere.  
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Stuff Hates You: Sometimes it seems as though the world itself is conspiring against you.  Doors love to slam into your face, elevators always close on your shirt, and every fish tank you've ever fallen into has contained an eel which slithered into your clothes.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Not Again!: There are things in your past which have left permanent emotional scars.  You suddenly realize how something reminds you of a painful memory, and it leaves you unable to cope with the current situation.  Maybe it was the time your love of video games left you with a crippling poultry phobia after you decided to 'go all Zelda on some roosters,' or maybe it was the harsh training methods of your master.  Whatever it was, it still haunts you.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: World's Strongest Denial: You meet change with an iron will and some serious denial.  You might refuse to acknowledge or understand new technology, deny magical occurrences right in front of you, fight with a store clerk over a slight increase in prices, or even decide that an entire situation must be only a dream.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Improvised Arsenal: Somehow you always seem to be able to make a situation work in your favor with what's at hand.  You could scale a building with a bottle of lime juice and an alarm clock.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Your Body Hates You: Whether due to your innate constitution or as the result of terrible choices you've made, your body seems to have great comedic timing.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Little Johnny's Operation: Little Johnny was born with a crippling case of albino-ism.  More than anything you wish there was something you could do so that he could get that full-body Kenyan skin transplant surgery and leave the hospital.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Protect the Town: This town may not be perfect, but you'd give your all to protect it and its denizens.  This town.  Your town.  Town.  This.  Town yours.  Your town.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Greatest Ever.: You want to be the very best, like no one ever was.  Whether or not people understand what it is you are trying to be the best at is irrelevant; your passion will push your far beyond the bounds of the conventional.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Prove yourself.: They may consistently dismiss what you have to say or underestimate you now, but you're determined to make them see just how wrong they are.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Utterly Ridiculous Reflexes: Once an old lady holding a box of puzzle pieces tripped in front of you and you were able to complete the puzzle in mid-air before she hit the ground.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Not Well Trusted: Something about you tends to make others less apt to trust you.  This might be your age, your appearance, or something in your past.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Cop: You've spent years working the beat, and have the mental and physical scars to prove it.  If there is one thing you know it's justice: Hongkongyo Town justice.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: So Sneaky: You are so sneaky.  Once, you found yourself in a public restroom with no toilet paper and were able to sneak into the neighboring stall and steal some without alerting the person who was in there.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Trusting: You are trusting to a fault.  You once paid $6.99 to get into an all-you-can-eat-buffet and believed the owner when he said the seafood salad was made with real crab.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Not So Subtle: Whether on purpose or by accident you tend to do things in a very big and noticeable way.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Greatest Ever.: You want to be the very best, like no one ever was. Whether or not people understand what it is you are trying to be the best at is irrelevant; your passion will push your far beyond the bounds of the conventional.    
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Little Johnny's Operation: Little Johnny was born with a crippling case of albino-ism.  More than anything you wish there was something you could do so that he could get that full-body Kenyan skin transplant surgery and leave the hospital.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Protect the Town: This town may not be perfect, but you’d give your all to protect it and its denizens. This town. Your town. Town. This. Town yours. Your town.    
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Prove Yourself.: They may consistently dismiss what you have to say or underestimate you now, but you’re determined to make them see just how wrong they are.    
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Restore the Status-Quo: All you really want is to just go home, put on your fuzzy slippers, and watch some TV while scooping ice-cream with your hand.  Is that really too much to ask for?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Unending Stamina: You get knocked down, but you get up again, they're never gonna keep you down.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Zero Social Etiquette: What you do, you do well.  What you do is not interacting with people.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Great Dragon Wall Gifts and Oddly Exotic Pet-Food Emporium: A small store absolutely packed to brim with Asian imports and chintzy curiosities, as much a staple to the locals as a tourist trap.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Elderly Shopkeeper: The elderly shopkeeper of Great Dragon Wall Gifts, she is skilled in the Thousand Tongues of the Demon Merchant Technique, which allows her to mercilessly berate customers into buying merchandise they neither want nor need.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Lucky Cat Statuette: IT'S SO LUCKY!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Tortarga, Ally of the Incontinent!: One of the more obtuse giant reptiles which regularly attack Hongkongyo Town, Tartaga is a three stories tall and greatly resembles a tortoise.  He can fly by retracting into his shell and spewing flames from all of his orifices, a feat which is accomplished with the assistance of an all White-Castle diet.  He is summoned whenever three individuals piss their pants in unison.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Four Jack-Offs: Dressed as lumber-jacks, these are the enforcers of the Candyman Corporation.  Trained in the ancient and deadly art of "generally being dicks," they are not to be taken lightly.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: The Camel's Piss: The dive-bar de jour of Hongkongyo Town.  Dank, dark, and faintly (and appropriately) smelling of piss, this bar is the drunkenly beating heart of Hongkongyo Town.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Keys to the Church Van: The keys to a large van with "Get Lit For Jesus" and a painting of Jesus holding a bottle of tequila in the air on the side.  Built to seat up to twenty alcoholic elderly individuals!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Motorcycle Keys: Keys left behind by a fleeing biker: convenient!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Windowless Van Full of Jack-Offs: Ba-dum tish.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Defiled Tip-Jar: You really wish there hadn't been a Jack-Off in this jar.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Avenge your brother: You used to be one half of a dynamic duo. You were inseparable from the beginning, taking care of business in the only way you knew how: bad-assery. Your twin's name was Meridian, and you blame yourself for his death.  
  Deep down, the only thing keeping you going is the thought of avenging his death.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Lack of Foresight: Being a janitor does not require the skills Planning Ahead, Thinking Ahead, or Clairvoyancy. This may be an issue in some (many) situations. 