conversations.from: system
conversations.value: Welcome to T.T. Travellyan Memorial Hospital, where our standards are the lowest in the world!
  
  If you came here expecting to learn how to do shit, well, you're out of luck. All we do here is hire the cheapest help possible and put 'em to work! I hope you're ready to get your hands dirty and fill out of lot of paperwork!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Complete the Surgery: Git 'er done.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Bone Saw: A motor attached to a miniature saw blade. Great for surgery, not so good for murder.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Anaesthetic Needle: One injection of this and you'll be out like a light. Or slightly woozy with some mild hallucinations.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Scissors: Sanitized of course.
  
  (You did sanitize them, right?)
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Stomach: It's fresh, cold, and probably not going to help!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Suture: A needle and thread, although sterilized and overglorified because MEDICINE.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Hammer: When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like it needs to be bashed in the head.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Scalpel: Shit that's sharp.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Tongs: Surgical Tongs. Yes, I'm pretty sure the exist.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Complete the Surgery: Git 'er done.
  
  (Use when surgery is over)
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Complete the Surgery: Git 'er done.
  
  (Only use at end of surgery.)
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Drop-Out: A Degree? Pah! Who needs it? You got here with either loads of cash or loads of luck. Maybe both.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Graduate...in the wrong field.: Woo! You did it! You may or not be actually qualified for this, but you're here now, and that's what matters! Winging it has never felt more dangerous!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Old-Timer: Man you've been here a while. Maybe a bit too long. People are starting to wonder why you haven't retired. Or died.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Lunatic: Who let *you* practice medicine? Oh yeah, those guys who still think you're that doctor you may or may not have murdered. Either way, it's a good way to hide from those voices in your head.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Average Joe: You're qualified to a degree, and you think you know what's going on here. Sorta. Hopefully. Hey, at least you made it through medical school.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Star of the show: Yep, it's all about you here at this hospital.
  
  At least, that's what you think. You treat this job as more of a soap opera than a life-or death situation. But hey, you're qualified! Enough. Maybe they should pay those extras a bit more, though.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Department Head: Man, running a hospital wing is the shit! Wait, what's that? You need to go and help with a surgery? Yeah, sure you're qualified! You work in a hospital! Who cares if you majored in business? Go save a life!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Tourettes: Don't you hate it when you're performing surgery and your hand spasms into the ribcage? Or when you suddenly yell out 'IDJITS', causing your co-workers to accidentally fall out of a window? Well too bad.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Squeamish: WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO MEDICINE IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE STICKING YOUR HAND INTO A DUDE'S INTESTINES JESUS CHRIST
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Narcolepsy: Okay, hand me the suture, Jenkins.
  
  You there, Jenkins?
  
  God dammit, Jenkins, stop snoring into that woman's stomach.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Druggie: JENKINS STOP USING UP ALL OF OUR ANAESTHETIC  THAT'S FOR THE PATIENT.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Firebug: Jenkins...
  
  This is the burn ward.
  
  STOP BRINGING MATCHES INTO THE BURN WARD.
  
  JENKINS YOU PUT HER OUT RIGHT NOW.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Clumsy: *Loud Crashing Noises *
  
  *Yelping*
  
  *Muffled Explosion*
  
  Jenkins.
  
  You fucking moron.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Inexperienced: Either you never got the right education or just just didn't WANT it, but...all this medical stuff just CONFUSES you! Like, why don't they just...not get hurt? Why are we stapling him? Why are his guts on the floor?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Antisocial: Pah! Look at all these people! Thinking they can help you! They're all incompetent. Yup. Better butt in and do it right. You *can* do it better, right?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Impaired: Are you Deaf? Blind? Colourblind? Missing some fingers? Toes? Hair? You decide what's gonna fucking up your career!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Survive: Just...one more day. And maybe another. You know what, how about we aim for 'Not dying on the job?'
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Retire: Two more days/weeks/months/years/decades till retirement! And then you're home free!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Make Momma Proud!: DO IT FOR MOMMA!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Get Fired: You've had it here. It's time to get a new job. But...the severance package...it's...amazing!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Save a Life: Just one. That's all. That was your goal.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Make a proper name for yourself: Fame, fortune or love? Fame. All the way.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Impress the new girl/boy: Go ahead. We won't judge. Everyone falls in love sometime.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: SILENCE THE VOICES: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Impress your boss: You want a raise! And a promotion! And a heated parking space! YEAH!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Steady-Handed: You can hold a syringe, a scalpel, and gauze at the same time without violently shaking. Good job. Most people around here have yet to accomplish that.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Eye for Detail: Yup. That spot on his neck is definitely...uh...
  
  something. Yup. Better do something about it.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Good Under Pressure: Able to keep working when Jenkins is fucking everything up. May or may not be a good thing.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Well-Read: Okay...that's the sternum...
  
  That's the heart.
  
  And...yep, that's definitely a stab wound.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Majykks: What's that? You can...slow time? Heal small wounds instantly? And you're practicing medicine? Wow, what a loser.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Attractive: What? You're hot. And that's what REALLY matters! Man, look at those pecs/abs/boobs.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Butcher: Oh, did his arm just get chopped off? Damn, son, that's hella cool. Hand me the staples, I'll handle this, I've dealt with blood like this before.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Fit: HOO HAW.
  
  YOU SAY THE NEW BRAIN JUST FLEW OUT THE WINDOW? LET ME JUMP OUT AND GET IT FOR YOU.
  
  HOO HAW.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Safe: You value safety over all things, and you're prepared to take care of sanitation issues, fluid spills, and unconscious doctors before anything horrible happens! For the most part.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Operating Room: You know, that place where shit goes down.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Bob Milona: A tragic victim of stomach ulcers. Looks like he'll have to be given the full treatment.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Abdomen: If only the internal organs weren't blocked by a wall of flesh and bone. Then it'd be much easier to perform surgery.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Anaesthetic Needle (copy): One injection of this and you'll be out like a light. Or slightly woozy with some mild hallucinations.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Rib Cage: Dem Bones
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Tongs (copy): Surgical Tongs. Yes, I'm pretty sure the exist.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Stomach: Eeeeeewwwww, it's all...ulcer-y.
  
  And acid-y.
  
  Ew.
  
  Ow.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Complete the Surgery (copy): Git 'er done.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Scissors (copy): Sanitized of course.
  
  (You did sanitize them, right?)
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Scalpel (copy): Shit that's sharp.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The NEW Stomach: It's time to stick that sucker in! 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Suture (copy): A needle and thread, although sterilized and overglorified because MEDICINE.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Delusional:  Jebediah genuinely believes he is a field surgeon in the U.S. Confederate Army; as such, he always dresses in a suspiciously blood-stained Confederate soldier's uniform. 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Skilled: While he may be completely insane, he does know  a thing or two about performing a surgery; so long as said surgery is performed in a 19th century field hospital
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Hates the colour blue: Believing "Those union bastards are just a'waitin' for us", Jebediah will violently attack anything blue, as it reminds him of "THE WAR". This is how he lost his job as a preschool teacher.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Keep 'em fightin': None of the other surgeons know exactly how Jebediah ended up working at here, let alone how he was even allowed in the building. However, none can deny he is fiercely determined to save as many lives as possible, muttering about how he "needs to get them patched up and back to the front lines." 
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: He's a screamer.: Jesus fuck, Doctor Friend.