conversations.from: system
conversations.value: "As to Hemingway, I read him for the first time in the early ‘forties, something about bells, balls and bulls, and loathed it."
  -Vladimir Nabokov
  
  Every month, the members of the Bells, Balls, and Bulls Writing Club meet at the local Hooters to write fiction together.
  
  They are disciplined. They are serious. They have important things to say about their feelings, but not too directly.
  
  They are White Male Writers, and they are determined to produce damned good writing.
  
  Until, one fateful Wings Night, an uninvited guest attends their meeting...
  
  ***
  
  This story began as a metafiction satire inspired by reading too much Hemingway. It was in the spirit of affectionate teasing for all of those male writers who take themselves too seriously and want to be the next Hemingway / Hunter Thompson / Charles Bukowski.
  
  Then, we decided to do something different. We are adults and these are our decisions.
  
  Posts will be limited to 150 words maximum, because real men hate words and use as few as possible.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Retiree: Now that you're done working, you have time to write the stories you've gathered for years.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Appraisal
  
  Suggested Weakness: Delicate
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Literature Professor: Well-read and pedantic. Every other sentence out of your mouth is a literary quotation.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Lore
  
  Suggested Weakness: Slow
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Outdoorsman: If a man doesn't know how to hunt or fish, he isn't really a man.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Sciences
  
  Suggested Weakness: Limited
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Gonzo: Intoxication is your muse, in all of its mind-bending forms.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Medicine
  
  Suggested Weakness: Oath
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Journalist: You're done interviewing local politicians. It's time that you were able to write in your own voice.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: The Mind
  
  Suggested Weakness: Judgmental
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Field Archaeologist: You blend archaeological knowledge with wilderness survival and digging techniques.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Survival
  
  Suggested Weakness: Reckless
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Dilettante: Your shelves are filled with writing manuals that you've never read and journals that you've never filled. This is your chance to get serious.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Resources
  
  Suggested Weakness: Naive
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Graduate Student: You’re at the beginning of an exciting career... you hope.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Vital Youth
  
  Suggested Weakness: Impatient
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Soldier of Fortune: Your military training makes you valuable the world over. It’s a dangerous place, this planet.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Hardy
  
  Suggested Weakness: Heartless
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: One Hit Wonder: You hit it big once, but now you're largely forgotten. You're determined to see your name back on the bestseller's list.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Mysticism
  
  Suggested Weakness: Bookish
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Appraisal: You’re sharp, perceptive, and quick—capable of appraising situations as well as objects.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Lore: Your intellect is formidable and your knowledge spans many cultures and histories.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Sciences: You have a calculating mind that prizes reason and calm precision above all.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Medicine: You’re adept at medicine, from saving lives to identifying the telling marks of death.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: The Mind: The human mind is a remarkable device and you understand how it works.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Survival: You’ve survived the wilderness, bandits, and wolves in your search for literary treasures.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Resources: You’re well equipped with quality tools, society contacts, and funds.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Stand-Up Guy: You. You're good, you. You don't have trouble making friends and influencing people.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Hardy: You’re a rugged, leathery sort. You could stay up writing for 36 hours and keep going.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The voices are real: You hear your characters' voices in your head. It does wonders for your motivation.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Delicate: You’re delicate of touch, of demeanor, and of constitution. Don't let the guys know you're thin-skinned.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Fixated: Your mind returns to the same thought over and over. You can't seem to move on.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Limited: Outside your areas of expertise, you’re easily lost.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Oath: You’ve sworn an oath to save lives, avoid violence, and heal the sick.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Judgmental: Your judgmental attitude causes you troubles. If only others would try harder to measure up.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Insecure: You have a lot to prove, and other people know it.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Naive: A bit gullible and trusting of the wrong sorts, perhaps, but you mean well.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Impatient: You don’t wait around well. You want to act first and think about it later maybe.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Heartless: The years have left you wary and callous, unwilling to risk your heart again.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Inarticulate: Um... could you rephrase that?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Appease the Voices: Your muse is an actual entity that goads, cajoles, and threatens you into writing more. Give it what it wants.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Hunt Something New: You’ve stalked or been stalked by the most dangerous game. Time for a new challenge.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Find Worthy Material for a Dissertation: Stop waffling and wondering and find worthy material for your thesis.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Show Your Father You’re Worthy: It’s not about inheritance, it’s about respect.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Push A Mind Beyond Its Limits: Push someone—perhaps yourself!—beyond the limits of reason and then study what happens.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Show Them Your Work is Sound: It’s not enough anymore to believe you’re the best. Put these amateurs in their place.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Bring Back A Groundbreaking Artifact: If you can retrieve a never-before-seen treasure, your career will be revitalized.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Get Home Alive: Maybe this work isn’t worth your life? Just get home alive.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Nothing Is Forbidden: Human morals are a human construction. Your work will push through these paltry boundaries into radical new territory.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Matters of Love: Love may be an earthly concern, but it’s real and it matters.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Deciphering: Read words that have gone unread for generations.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Survive the Wild: Endure and survive the threats of the wild.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Protect Someone: Prevent harm from coming to a colleague you admire or cherish.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Save A Life in Danger: Rescue someone in peril, perhaps bringing them back from the brink of death.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Be The First: Set foot in a new or ancient place before someone else can despoil it.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Protect the Dig Site: Protect the dig site from harm.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Warn the World: Get word out about what’s happening at the dig site.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Make A Friend: The best protections against the harsh realities of the world are friendship and allies.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Photographic Evidence: Get a photo that no one would believe if it weren’t true.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Right Might: Show someone that you’re not to be trifled with.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: A Smartphone: This place has free Wifi, right? Research your setting for inspiration.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Jameson’s Portfolio on the Peru Dig: A collection of newspaper clippings, sketches, and geographical survey maps.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: A Stack of Cold, Hard Cash: At least $1,000 dollars American in bright green bills.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Heavens Below: by Brother Francisco Castillo. Contains occult secrets about pre-Columbian South America.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Revolver: A six-shot snub-nosed pistol.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Shotgun: A long, double-barreled shotgun with a wood stock.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Ammunition: Ammo for a gun.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Dynamite: One stick of dynamite with a long fuse.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Digging Equipment: Shovels, brushes, and picks suitable for quick or fine-detail work.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: A Fine Camera: A high-quality camera with tripod.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Dr. Jameson’s Office: All dark hardwoods and plush chairs with a penthouse view.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Aveline Estate: The sort of place with marble pillars and a hedge maze.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Aboard Butcher’s Plane: The plane rattles and dips in tough turbulence. It’s more for cargo than passengers.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Blue Star Nightclub: The city’s best-hidden jazz secret is this hole-in-the-wall club, open just twice a week.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Suburban Dining Room: The table is buried under layers of maps and sketches and newspaper clippings.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: A Remote Peruvian Village: A quaint, humid little village on the road leading to the dig site.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Swaying Rope Bridge: No way a truck could make it across that. Only foot traffic could cross this rickety thing.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Abandoned Dig Site: The dig site resembles, at first, just an assortment of low, stone walls and carved pits.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Deep Jungle: This sort of jungle can swallow up a traveler with ease and never release its secrets.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Far Beneath the Dig: A circle of sunlight through the well shaft above reveals a vast, finely carved chamber...
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Turbulence: Avoid embarrassing yourself in flight.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: First Impressions: Make a first impression on the locals that won’t get you in trouble later.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Cross the Rope Bridge: Get across the rope bridge with all your equipment intact.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Rains From A Clear Night Sky: The dig site fills with water and mud. Protect the artifacts!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Find Your Way: The track through the jungle is perilous and difficult to follow. Don’t lose your way.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Lost Beneath: These strange passages beneath the earth make little sense. Will you ever see the sky again?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Ancient Writings: Who can decipher these ancient markings?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Gunfire!: Someone from afar is taking shots at you!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: The Impossible Creature: It is both there and not there, part tentacle and part grasping mouth. Understand it? Or flee?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Vision: Are you dreaming or is this real?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Dr. Jeremiah Jameson: Dr. Jameson isn’t brave enough to lead expeditions so he funds others’ trips into the unknown.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Diane Aveline: The widow of Michael Aveline, who was killed on an expedition of Jameson’s. She wants revenge.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Caroline Butcher: One of the world’s great pilots and photographers.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Walter Corrigan: A soldier of fortune hired to protect Dr. Jameson’s investments.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Leonard Crenshaw: A locally renowned jazz musician and expert on folklore of the Americas.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Jorge Quispe: A young driver, fixer, and guide in Peru. He’s been to the dig site Jameson’s curious about.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Mysterious Interloper: Tall and shadowy in a fedora and trench coat. Who is this gravel-voiced stranger?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Mad Cultist: This drug-addled cultist is ready to give his life—or yours—to please his monstrous god.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Tentacular Beast: Tentacles and feathery antennae probe out from a shadowy mass at the heart of this beast!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Hellish Flying Monstrosity: Wider-winged than a condor, with a bone-chilling cry and gleaming teeth.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Hooters: Sports bar & grill chain famous for hot wings served by scantily clad waitresses. Your writing has to compete with the local scenery for attention. Better make it good.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Graduate Student: You’re at the beginning of an exciting career... you hope.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Vital Youth
  
  Suggested Weakness: Impatient
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Dilettante: You ache to make a mark on the world, to amount to something special.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Resources
  
  Suggested Weakness: Naive
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Archaeology Professor: You teach archaeology at a prestigious New England college and are widely published.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Lore
  
  Suggested Weakness: Slow
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Antiquarian: You’re an expert on antiquities and artifacts, known world-wide for your skills.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Appraisal
  
  Suggested Weakness: Delicate
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Dilettante: Your shelves are filled with writing manuals that you've never read and journals that you've never filled. This is your chance to get serious.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Resources
  
  Suggested Weakness: Naive
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Medical Doctor: Your knowledge of the human body and its care is much celebrated.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Medicine
  
  Suggested Weakness: Oath
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Physics Professor: You stand at the forefront of “alternative physics”—where science meets mysticism.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Sciences
  
  Suggested Weakness: Limited
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Psychologist: The human mind is your purview—you understand how it works and when it doesn’t.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: The Mind
  
  Suggested Weakness: Judgmental
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Occult Author: You’ve studied and written widely on matters of mysticism and folklore. Your fans are many.
  
  ...
  
  Suggested Strength: Mysticism
  
  Suggested Weakness: Bookish
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Mysticism: You know the ways of folklore and magic, some of it so much hogwash... some of it not.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Hardy: You’re a rugged, leathery sort. You’re hard to kill and ready to work through pain.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Survival: You’ve survived the wilderness, bandits, and wolves in your search for ancient treasures.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Vital Youth: You’re energetic, athletic, and hale—ready for adventure!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Bookish: You’re no athlete. Maybe you’re doughy or awkward or frail but you’re sure no athlete.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Slow: Your mind may be sharp but your body is slow to keep up.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Reckless: You sometimes take chances that put you or others at risk.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Delicate: You’re delicate of touch, of demeanor, and of constitution.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: No Sense of Humor: People are always telling you to lighten up. 
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Nothing Is Forbidden: Human morals are a human construction. Knowledge of the infinite is more valuable.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Find Worthy Material for a Dissertation: Stop waffling and wondering and find out what you believe to be true about the world.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Show Them Your Work is Sound: It’s not enough anymore to believe you’re right. Show them you’re right.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Learn an Eldritch Secret: Learning is power, whether you share it or not.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Fulfill Your Destiny: You were born to be a writer. Rise to the ranks of the greats.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: A Book of Writing Prompts: Just the thing you need to find your next idea.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: A Matchbook From The Blue Star: A simple matchbook adorned with a blue star and no words.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: So It Begins: Situate yourselves.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Brown Derby: Mostly bourbon and grapefruit juice. Sweet, sour, and powerful.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Dirty Martini: Mostly gin, vermouth, and old school cred.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Vile Concoction: Proof that we live in an unjust world governed by cruel and malicious gods.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Cosmopolitan: Made of Vodka, Cointreau, and bad decisions. Dare you taste the forbidden fruit?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Story: Begin at the Beginning: "'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'"
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Flash of Inspiration: You hear the Muses whispering at your shoulder. The words seem to spill out of you of their own accord.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Writer's Block: "Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
  
  -- Gene Fowler
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Plot Twist: You are a diabolical genius. They'll never see this coming.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Get to the Crappa: Do it now!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Break It Up, Fellas: Hey, come on guys, be cool.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: What to Expecting When You're Possessing: So, the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson has possessed the body of your friend and fellow writer. What are you gonna do about it? 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Get The Skinny: Wait, what's going on here?  Mack's here willingly?  Why would he do that?  Why is Thompson here?  What are they babbling about?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Get The Skinny: Wait, what’s going on here? Mack’s here willingly? Why would he do that? Why is Thompson here? What are they babbling about?   
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Will You or Won't You?: *When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.*
  
  So said the man himself.
  
  Ready to turn pro?
  
  
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Make a Plan: So, you've decided you're all on the same side: Thompson's side. Now, what are you gonna do about it? 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail, '16: And so, it begins. 
  
  The depravity. 
  
  The decadence.
  
  The *thrill.*
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: The Drumf Diary: Step one: gain the raving hordes.
  
  Step two: fool enough people to get the nomination. 
  
  Time to get that ticket to the big leagues. 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Kingdom of Fear: The time has come; we're already there, and now? Now it's time to make those final statements. 
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Keen Eyes: Synonyms: alert, hypervigilant, a certain self-centered kind of empathetic. You've seen things, man. 
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Brooding: You, the dark, a mirror, and a few hours for ruminating: sounds like your typical weekday night.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Existentialist: You write to plumb the depths of the human heart and the meaningless abyss of existence.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Rugged: Your time outdoors has made you a rugged individual. Your appearance is rough and ready, but that is a thing now. You were the original lumbersexual.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Disconnected from Reality: The "medicine" is a fickle mistress. Sometimes, she allows hours of work,  reams of paper of varying intelligibility. Other times, she gives you hours of staring at a wall, hoping that, if you're still enough, the lizard people will slither off to find another victim. 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Frustrated English Teacher: Is there anything more cliché than being someone who teaches an art, but desperately wishes, not to teach, but to do?  No, there really isn't.  But for an English teacher, it's a very special hell: If you're anywhere near good enough to actually write, then you are deeply qualified to realize what a cliché your position is. The question is: What are you going to do about it?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Twisted: Teachers lead a remarkably filtered existence, even those who are honest with their students; there's honesty, and then there's too much information. When you work in a public school, it becomes self-censorship, and that can be fatal.  This mind's defense: twiste up inside, so that the outer words are safe, and the inner words are contained until they can be let out safely.
  
  *Hopefully* contained.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Slow to Act: Usually, you're too busy with more... Recreational enjoyments that aren't *actual* recreation to keep up well. 
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Determined: *Dude, you can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it. Watch!*
  
  For better or worse, once you put your mind to doing something, anything, you're going to finish it.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: The Abyss: Stare long into the abyss, and maybe something stares back.
  
  Stare longer, and realize that nothing was there. 
  
  You, either.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Enthusiast: Let's be honest, you were already a *little* bit on the train the moment you knew it was Hunter S. Thompson speaking through your buddy. The interest is there, and maybe now it's time to do something about that. 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Unblinking: Get the story. 
  
  Tell it straight.
  
  Don't throw up.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Scatter-Brained: In the haze and chaos that is the campaign trail, sometimes you get ahead of yourself. Or behind yourself. The possibilities are endless. 
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Pattern Recognition: "Meaning is not in things but in between them."
  --Norman O. Brown
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Despairing: The seeds of this populist rage have been growing for years.
  
  The story is already written.
  
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Heaven's door: Dr. Hunter S. Thompson took the maximum out.  Maybe he saw something we didn't.