conversations.from: system
conversations.value: Deep in the dungeon of The Overlord's menacing castle, thousands of ghouls, goblins, and any manner of disgusting creatures were toiling away at their duties.  Many of them were busy filling out entry forms for the beta of the new Maim-O-Matic 1280 (with enhanced grip for extra nail pulling power!).  Things had been quiet for a while, until the resident necromancer accidentally spilled his brew onto to a sack of severed heads.  The moaning was dreadful, but they came in handy when put on spikes and placed near the village during the annual scare-athon.  That is, save four.  Having formerly belonged to travelling minstrels, one of the mangy rats recognized potential in some of the heads and trained them as a barbershop quartet.  They were terrible, but no one complained.  Good entertainment is hard to come by in the dungeons.
  
  **Narrator's notes:** *Become one of The Overlord's minions to toil away at evil deeds.  Spend your time torturing elves.  If administrative work is more your fancy, enjoy filling out the bureaucratic forms required prior to raiding the local village.  Hang out by the blood cooler and chat with fellow miscreants about who survived the latest death match.  Find out what it takes to be a member of The Overlord's army.*
  
  *I'm looking for quick, witty humor.  This is to be like Douglas Adams, in a dark medieval setting.  Build your own character cards, and get creative (adding pictures is a plus).  Use your character bio to demonstrate your talent for irreverent humor!*
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Generic minion: (make your own, creative minion nature)
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Generic strength: (make your own, creative strength)
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Generic weakness: (make your own, creative weakness)
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Generic subplot: (make your own, creative subplot)
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Finish off the soldiers: Alright, you've had your fun.  Now it's time to finish off the King's men and get back to work.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Cong-Tar: A magical, sentient fireplace poker with a habit of setting fires.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Loot: The spoils of war!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Human armor: Bonus meat still contained within!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Visceral cleanup duty: Humans make such a mess when they're maimed.  This mess isn't going to clean itself up!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Nowthatsa Knife: Holy crap, this knife is huge.  In the hands of a goblin, it looks more like a great sword.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Badass Helmet: Quality headwear is important, but the most important feature is that it needs to make you look like a freaking badass.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Panty Quest: One of the dead heroes was wearing something of incredible value.  Now you must retrieve it before it is destroyed, or discovered and taken by someone else.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Calm Cong-Tar the heck down: This fireplace poker is going *freaking nuts*.  Calm it down before it burns everything!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: FIRE!: The armory is on fire!  Put it out before it spreads!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Save the panties!: If there's one thing in this inferno that's worth saving, it's those wondrous panties.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Gnark and Lunk: Good help is hard to find.  These two underlings from the armory aren't much, but they're loyal.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Gnark: Good help is hard to find.  This underling from the armory isn't much, but he's loyal.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Lunk: Good help is hard to find.  This underling from the armory isn't much, but he's loyal.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Pink Panties: Charisma +1
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Obtain a cat potion: Before reporting to the catapults, you need a potion to transform the crew into a feet-landing-cat.  Good luck.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Do a trick (optional): You're already airborne, might as well show some finesse!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Drink the potions: That's not a cat.  Oh no...  WHAT WAS IN THAT DRINK?!?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Spread Propaganda: The enemy minions have been brainwashed with lies.  Give them new lies!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Armourer: If someone has the right forms filled, you're the one who hands them their equipment. You handle arming the forces, keeping the armoury in order and occasionally dusting the cobwebs off the corners.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Organized: ''That thing? Down aisle seven, third rack on the left and it's in the red box on the second shelf.''
  
  You know where everything is, or at least who knows where it has been moved.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Intimidating: ''Whaddaya shaking at? Did ya see a ghost or somethin'?''
  
  No matter how people look at you, you're a huge and scary thing that even the most feared and vile creatures would rather pass interacting with.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Do the job right: ''The boss wants em today? Sure thing, I'll go get em right away, you just wait there a minute.''
  
  You like your job so you like to do it properly.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Keeper of the Undead: Or well, more like babysitter of the mindless rejects anyone with a sewing needle trigger finger and access to a peculiarly large amount of discarded body parts had ever dropped into your unwilling lap.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Sympathy for the Rejects: I mean, sure their brains are smaller than a tadpole's, try to chomp on anything with a heartbeat and have a tendency of falling into large ravines. But they deserve love just like the rest of us minions!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Not a People Goblin: Spending nearly all of your time with the various moaning undead creations has really stunted your...communication skills.  Oh what the hell, you're a weirdo, alright?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Money+Profit=Ladies: You don't know how, or when, or even why. And technically you haven't worked out all the details yet. But ultimately it all ends with you covered in all manner of female creature found in the under-world.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Fodder: Every evil overlord has to go cheap with his personnel at times.  You are the cheapest of the cheap, a literal dime a dozen.  Even the new adventurers can cut through you like there's no tomorrow.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Fearless: Big warriors with giant swords - no problem.  Powerful wizards with spells that can roast you - no problem.  Dwarves with sharp axes - no problem.  Besides, you've got backup, right?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Weak: No matter how much you eat, work out, train, eat some more, you always seem to be the lowest guy on the food chain.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Search for Meaning of Life: There must be more to your existence than being the whipping boy for every two-bit adventurer that comes along.  What's life all about anyway?
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: College Internship: Young, energetic and eager! These are the watchwords by which the intern lives...and often dies.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Youthful Exuberance: There is nothing that cannot be accomplished with a willing attitude and an abundance of energy.
  
  ATTACK!!!
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Youthful Exuberance: Did I do that?
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Hidden Talent: When the opportunity to show your real talent presents itself...seize it! You will show them! You will show them all!!!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Perpetual Optimism: You may have just been stomped, pounded, kicked, bitten, or just thoroughly trounced for the 487th time but you just can't keep from smiling.  Life may have just given you some lemons, you turn around and just make lemona...or... whatever happy goblins do with lemons.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Persuasive: Sometimes you just have a knack for helping others see things your way.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Paperwork Ninja: Since interns do all the work nobody else wants to do, most of them become copy room veterans in very short order...
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Panic: No, no, no, no, no!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Burnin' Love: Some people like fire. Pyromaniacs really like fire. When you love fire this much, you will one day become a pyromancer...or a dragon.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Burn Baby burn!: Goblin Inferno!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Bad Luck: Lady luck has kept an eye on you.  Unfortunately it seems like it's her evil eye.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Brutish: Being kin to both Orc and Giant makes you... forceful by nature.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Frequent Flyer: Due to the successes of your previous flight experiences you have developed an unwarranted confidence in your relationship with gravity.
conversations.from: gpt
conversations.value: Ogre blood: You're related to those dumb lesser giants, and sometime it's not too difficult to see how.