Mr. Goldberg
PENECTOMY
Mr. Goldberg can get his penis rebuilt, but...
Mr. Goldberg wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The Doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now,
you probably won't remember, but you were in a big pileup on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... something
happened. I'm trying to break this gently... but the fact is... your penis was
chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

Goldberg groans, but the Doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming to you, and we have the technology to build you a new
penis that will work as well as your old one did... maybe even better! But the
thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000.00 per inch.'

Goldberg perks up at this!!

'So,' the Doctor continues, 'It's for you to decide how many inches you want.
But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a
five inch one

before, and you decide to go for nine inches, she might be a bit put out. But
if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in five
inches this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays
a role in helping you make the decision.'

He agrees to talk with his wife. The Doctor comes back the next day and says,
'So, have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says Mr. Goldberg.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' he says.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting granite counter tops.'  

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