Why penis transplants are a bad thing
STRAIGHT, PENECTOMY
Not a story, but an actual event plus my take on it. Feel free to vilify me, but perhaps I shall write a real story some time.
**_From the Manchester Guardian - Monday, September 18, 2006_  
  
Tale of the first penis transplant  
  
A Chinese man who had lost his penis in an accident earlier this year received
a transplanted member from a brain-dead man. The operation, performed at
Guangzhou General Hospital, was reportedly a success, but the man suffered
emotional trauma and after just two weeks insisted that the penis be removed.
After 10 days, tests revealed the organ had a rich blood supply and the man
was able to urinate normally.  
  
Doctors have previously succeeded in reuniting men with their sexual organs
after traumatic accidents or attacks, but the Guangzhou operation is the first
in which a donor penis has successfully been attached to another man.  
  
"Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the
transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off," Dr Hu said. An examination
of the organ showed no signs of it being rejected by the body.  
  
I do not know where to even begin with this one but I suppose I'll start here:
Just how the fuck do you _'accidentally'_ lose your penis, anyway? Chopping up
some bok choy while naked, perhaps? Maybe he wandered downstairs, looking for
his pants, and ran into his very hungry Great Dane. Perhaps he and Mrs Wang
were playing a new version of tug-of-war and he lost, in a big way.  
  
My cock is sacred, and because of that I don't put it in harms way. You only
get one the fuckers, literally, and you have to be careful with it. You don't
fry bacon with it hanging out, you don't attach your German Shepherd's leash
to it and you sure as fuck don't stick it in Courtney Love. I try to keep mine
well-oiled, as often as possible.  
  
And what kind of 'emotional trauma' would make you cut it off a _second_ time
(maybe it was a Japanese subcompact)? And just what was the 'severe
psychological problem'? Was Mr. Wang angry with Mrs. Wang because she was, in
reality, being unfaithful with every blowjob? Quite the pickle.  
  
But all of this is really beside the point. The problem is the supply.  
  
Think about it. When you're talking breast implants, you're talking about a
manufactured item - something that rolled off an assembly line somewhere. But
you can't make a penis (not literally). The cock has to come from someone,
from a donor. I would like to see how this might be set up. Will there be a
ready supply of shrink-wrapped johnsons at the hospital to choose from, or
will the dissatisfied wife just take her shopping basket to 'Cocks 'r' Us'?
Remember, the advent of silicone made it possible for a new generation of
American males to become size queens. How will women respond when "just right"
is only an 'oopsy-daisy' away?  
  
And what happens when the supply of dead peckers dries up? It'll happen, you
know it will. Trust me, the number of "accidents" that will befall the poor,
inadequate cocks of this world will skyrocket, and from where will the big
dicks come? Well, if we're willing to invade the Middle East for Big Oil, I'm
willing to bet that we'll go on safari in Africa for Big Black Cocks in a
fucking heartbeat. And what happens at home? Will women jealously guard the
secret of their husband's, um, attributes? "Oh, no, Lacey, Jeb is really
small, hardly worth bothering with." Will Ron Jeremy and Tommy Lee live in sac
shrinking fear of any woman with a purse large enough to conceal a pair of
scissors?  
  
It's an ugly future we're looking at, where no penis is safe. I used to
fantasize about getting a blowjob in my car from some smokin' hot babe outside
a bar. But now I just see that same chick running down the street with my cock
held out before her like the Olympic torch. Be afraid, be very afraid.  
  
  
  
Big_Kahuna_69@yahoo.com**

  

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