Thai cock-cutting catastrophe (news)
STRAIGHT, PENECTOMY
` Thai cock-cutting catastrophe `

Dozens of Bangkok penises are annually "fed to the ducks" by vengeful wives.

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By Hank Hyena

Another philandering Thai husband has been horribly stripped of his adulterous
manhood.

Bangkok police captain Samphan Panitphan went on a drinking binge with his
buddies last weekend, reports Saturday's Daily Record. Returning home to his
suspicious wife Sudjai, 28, he collapsed in a stupor.

His unconscious body presented an irresistible target to Sudjai, who carved
out some vengeance for his recent affairs. She cut off his penis!

Removing the devious dicks of wandering husbands is becoming almost as common
in Thailand as carving up coconuts. The slashing wives' habit is
euphemistically referred to as "tat lieng pet" (feeding the duck) due to an
incident in which the offending organ was tossed into a yard where a passing
duck ate it.

Bangkok surgeons are challenged with about 60 penile attachment operations per
year, notes the Mirror. Victims and their removed rods must be stitched
together quickly because isolated cock-cells expire in approximately one hour.

Shagnasty Says: Something's just aren't funny are they guys. What with Mrs
Bobbit and these Thia ladies there is a concerning trend here. What's wrong
with the time honored "throw him out of the house and in to court" I ask?

When Samphan woke up screaming and bloody, he urgently telephoned his cop
colleagues for help. Arriving abruptly, they interrogated Sudjai about the
missing staff's whereabouts, but she refused to immediately divulge the
location of its grave. When she finally guided everyone to a sewage drainpipe,
the extramarital member was deceased.

Sudjai was arrested and charged with physical assault, which carries a maximum
penalty of 10 years imprisonment.

If convicted, will her punishment halt the plague of hose-hatcheting? Probably
not: as long as Thai men maintain their loose tradition of taking "second"
wives, the first spouses will sharpen daggers for duck-food.

Dec. 7, 1999

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I don't know about you guys, but this left me both horny as hell, and also
scared. Being charged with physical assault and spending a maximum of 10 years
in prison seems a paltry amount of punishment for ending a man's sexual life.
There really needs to be a more sever punishment for such a crime.

  

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