Clitoridectomy Support Group 3 Christine
clitoridectomy
One woman relates what she has lost
Christine

Two days later I met Christine. She was a slight woman, flat chested and with
small blue eyes. She was about 30 years of age. She smiled at me and we again
sat down to tea. She constantly fiddled with a little crystal ball that was on
a chain around her neck.

‘You want to know my story?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ I said.

“It began two years ago. I was working here and met a local man. He was
educated and kind. We got along. After some months, he said he was under
pressure to get married. However, his mother insisted that he marry a virgin.
He assumed I wasn’t, so he was telling me his dilemma.’

‘After some time, I told him I was a virgin. As I was approaching 30, marriage
was also on my mind. Eventually he took me to see his mother. She was openly
doubtful that a western woman would be telling the truth about her virginity.
However, she said she would consider our relationship, but I needed to have a
medical examination.’

“I went to the doctor she used, and he examined me carefully. He sent the
report to the mother. Later I saw her. She was still ambivalent. She had read
I was a virgin, but I had not been circumcised. This meant that she could not
trust me after marriage.’

‘I talked to Ahmed, and he tried to persuade his mother that I was clearly of
good character. However she would not be moved. I had to be circumcised for
her to consider our marriage.’

“I said no, but I liked Ahmed and I wanted so much to be married. After a
couple of months, I agreed. The family doctor would do the operation.’

‘It was to be done after work on Monday. I spent the entire weekend
masturbating. I could not stop. When I went in on Monday, my clitoris was
sore. It was almost a relief to have it removed. I went in, took off my
knickers and lie half upright on a table. My ankles were put in stirrups and
pulled wide apart. My skirt was pulled up around my midriff. He swabbed
between my labia, pulled my clitoris through a small ring, which he could
reduce in size. When it was clamped there, he took out a scalpel and cut
behind it in one movement. There was a sharp pain and it was gone. He put in a
couple of stitches and told me to come back on Friday to have them out.

I went back to my place without my knickers on, and did not wear any for the
rest of the week, although I put a sanitary pad in place, when I went to bed
that night or when I sat down at work.

The stitches came out, and I faced my first weekend without a clitoris.
However, I was so sore, that it did not occur to me to try to do anything.
After another three weeks, the soreness went. I put my hand between my legs,
but there was nothing to play with. However the next month felt good. I could
feel my vagina get firm and I anticipated penetration. I had always
masturbated so much that I had never thought of feelings elsewhere than in my
clitoris.

After a couple of months, I went to see my prospective mother in law again.
She asked me to undress so she could inspect me. I did this and she looked at
me and then felt me all over, prodding my buttocks, thighs, stomach and chest.
Finally she parted my legs and looked at my sex.

She parted my outer labia to inspect me.

‘That is a neat job,’ she said, ‘It has clearly be taken off at the base.
There is no loose flesh. You must feel much better.’

I was silent.

Then she said, ‘But you’re too thin. You won’t be able to bear good children.
I do not think that you are satisfactory for my son.’

‘But I’ve been circumcised as you requested,’ I stammered.

‘Yes, but that was for your own good.’

“I haven’t got a clitoris anymore.’

‘Not where it used to be,’ she said and then she gave me this crystal ball.
Christine continued to finger the ball hanging round her neck.

I looked at Christine. “That’s it?’ I asked.

‘Oh yes, she gave me my clitoris back.’

‘And Ahmed, what happened to him?’

‘He married a local woman three months later. I think she had it planned all
along.’

‘How long ago was this?’

‘Just over a year.’

‘What are you doing now?’

‘What can I do? I am a 30 year old virgin without a clitoris. Who would want
me?’

‘Do you miss it?’

‘What, my clitoris? Of course. I played with it every day for almost 20 years.
When I was nervous, I played with it. I used to spend half my weekend
masturbating. That was on of the reasons losing it did not seem so bad. I was
spending so much time playing with myself that I did nothing else.’

She continued to play with the plastic ball hanging round her neck. She than
gave an ironic smile. “I suppose I play with it more than ever now. But I do
not get any solace.’

I looked at her. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ I asked foolishly.

‘Yes, let me cut yours off. If I haven’t got one, why should anyone else?’

‘Coming her is the best thing for me. No-one else here has a clitoris. So I do
not feel so bad.’

I walked back to the hotel holding my arms across my chest. My nipples would
not come down. I squelched as I walked. I was horrified and excited.

  

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