* Since I was a boy .. (personal anecdote)
Since i was a small boy I have had a desire to be a eunuch. At the time I
didn't know the word, but wanted to have a smooth crotch. It all started when
i saw a female friend naked. I looked at her and I looked at my own body and
felt she was so beautiful that I wanted to look like her.

When I became a teen and reached puberty I had great difficulity dealing with
my male genitals. I was driven by my hormones to have sex with girls, but i
have felt that my penis and testicles are very unattractive and should be
removed. I fantasize that I wake up one morning and find that I have been
castrated and hand had a penectomy. When i put my hand between my legs to feel
for my penis I find nothing but a smooth area and a small pee hole. This
drives me wild with erotic thoughts. Even though I have no genitals I start
climaxing and cannot stop. There is a pumping in my crotch and a wave of
passion and pleasure that sweeps over my entire body. I just laid back and
enjoyed it.

Next, I got out of bed and ran to the dresser to retrieve a mirror. I had to
see what I looked like as a eunuch...