text: When in doubt, flay ‘em like a trout. Swift as a cat hopped up on methamphetamines you draw your sword, spin around, and hack off Organa Mel Fy’s head. Magic may not be dope, but you sure are.
  
  
  What didn’t you know? Magic is a stimulating drug. That’s why even the best wizards are twitchy and half-cracked in the head. Shit’s addictive, man.
  
  
  Whoa, what the hell is going on? Organa Mel Fy’s body and freshly decapitated head melt into what appears to be water and seeps into the ground. That is not normal. Perhaps now would be a good time to get out of here. You are still feeling funny from the magic and can swear you are being watched as you clamber up out of the dell. In fact, your feet are moving in a flurry, but it does not seem like you are getting anywhere. You definitely passed that big ass maple like five times already.
  
  
  You whirl around and brandish your sword. “Ok, what the fuck gives? Will the mysterious magic bitch or bastard please stand up?”
  
  
  “If you insist.” A mysterious magic bitch with bountiful breasts appears before you out of thin air wearing low-cut red robes. She reeks of magic and virility.
  
  
  “Listen, err, lady, my day’s been one odious load of shit, so unless you want me to wrap you up in the stink, I suggest you bugger off.”
  
  
  The woman’s lips curl into a seductive smirk. “Aren’t you curious as to whom I am, or what I am going to offer you?”
  
  
  “At this point, I really don’t give a damn.”
  
  
  “Perhaps you should.”
  
  
  “Perhaps you should suck my dick.”
  
  
  “If that is what you truly desire, that may be arranged. But for now, you will listen to my proposal like a good puppy.” The woman raises her hand, immobilizing your body with her magic. “Now then-“
  > You spit in her face.
  Spitting isn’t exactly heroic, unless you’re a cowboy. Unfortunately for you, you are not a cowboy.
  
  
  You hack a glob of spittle onto the woman’s face. “I’ll cut your fucking heart out. Bitch.”
  
  
  “Interesting, I’d love to see you try.” The woman wipes your saliva from her face, as you remain helplessly immobilized. “Yes, that’s what I thought. Though I imagined you had a little more sense in you than that. You are not the vessel I am looking for. That is clear to me now. Still, I can use your corpse as a fine minion. And you gave me such a wonderful idea of how to kill you.”
  
  
  The mysterious magic bitch magics up a dagger and proceeds to cut out your heart, which she then consumes. You watch in horror as the last moments of your life fade away. Perhaps, antagonizing your captor was not the best of ideas.
  
  
  Sadly, you cannot even enjoy peace in death, as the mysterious magic bitch reanimates your corpse to do her bidding, trapping your soul within your decaying body. The tasks she orders you to perform are humiliating and degrading, but there is nothing you can do. You are hers, now and forever.