text: We’ll save you the embarrassment of WHY you have the pictures in the first place, but after scanning one naked photo of your Mom, it doesn't take long for perverts all across the globe to start bidding for the whole set. The highest bid you've got right now is some guy in Mexico who's offering 10,000!
  > You hold out for more!
  Wise choice! Everyone knows 10,000 in Mexican currency is only $2.00 US currency!
  After waiting for a better deal you finally get an offer of $10,000 from some rich lesbian in Hawaii.
  
  Jackpot!
  
  Apparently she also wants to meet your Mom in person.
  
  You know your Mom's been kinda lonely after Dad was killed in that "elephant incident" so you decide to set it up...
  
  And after months of workin', proddin', fixin', and schemin' on your part, your Mom is now a much happier person and so are you having a rich stepmom and all. Now you can go buy that bomb shelter you always wanted.