text: It literally pains you to part with anything being the fuckin’ obsessed pack rat you are, but you need to start earning your keep again. The problem is you’ll only part with a few things and those things are shit that nobody wants!
  
  You can't believe that nobody would want things like S&M Elmo or Trailer Trash Barbie! And you can't even wrap your mind around the fact that people don't want your used toothpick collection from around the world!
  
  Well it looks like the demand is currently for “Big Objects” and the only two big objects you have that you’re willing to part with are your full set elephant bones and your Kudzu plant.
  
  Of course there’s always a demand for porn, but you’re sort of attached to your collection of that stuff.
  > You wait! You've got naked pictures of your Mom!
  We’ll save you the embarrassment of WHY you have the pictures in the first place, but after scanning one naked photo of your Mom, it doesn't take long for perverts all across the globe to start bidding for the whole set. The highest bid you've got right now is some guy in Mexico who's offering 10,000!
  > You sell!
  You sell, send off the pics and receive your money
  
  Unfortunately you forgot to consider the foreign exchange rate!
  
  10,000 Mexican Pesos is only $2.00 in US Currency!
  
  While it’s very possible that your Mom won’t find out what you did, but there’s always the chance she will. And hell, for that amount of money you could've sold naked pictures of yourself!
  > You try to buy your Mom's pictures back
  Fortunately the Mexican guy is now trying to sell them for a bigger profit, 20,000...unfortunately its US currency. You’re fucked. You don’t have that sort of money.
  
  So you do the only thing you can do. You steal your Mom's credit card and buy back the pictures.
  
  However there ARE consequences for your actions.
  
  First your Mom finds out about all of this the very next time she tried to use her card. (Which gets cut up)
  Second she's wickedly pissed off that you even sold the pictures in the first place let alone the fact that you didn't get squat for them and then put her in SEVERE debt by buying them back.
  Third there are some questions about your erm... morality, not to mention your sanity. You basically STOLE her private property which makes you a thief, the fact that you knew the content of the pictures and looked at them, makes you a sicko, the fact that you sold them makes you a sleazeball, and the fact you lost money on the whole deal makes you an idiot!
  
  Your Mom has you committed to the asylum, where you spend the rest of your days, until you cause so much trouble you get lobotomized.