text: You’re too chicken shit to actually commit suicide so you decide you need to escape from your sorry existence in a more “chemical” way, namely drugs.
  
  Unfortunately you’re such a damn loser that you’re completely clueless to who’s selling the shit in school, or even your suburb. Unless you want to go down to DA HOOD, even you know that where ALL the drugs come from. Of course there are other options like household inhalants.
  
  It’s a big wide world out there just waiting for you to find something to get fucked up on!
  > You find something in the house
  You’re still not motivated enough to leave your room, but you are motivated enough to go over to your unfinished Dungeons and Dragons diorama and sniff your modeling glue.
  
  You undo the cap, shove the tube up your nose and inhale deeply! Whooo! What a rush!
  You immediately start to hallucinate, and forget about all your so called problems. In fact you pretty much forget how to act altogether…
  
  You suddenly think that you’re a magical elf who must slay the evil dragon with your mighty sword! To get better prepared for this, you strip off all your clothing and run out of your room holding your uh…”sword”.
  
  As you go running around your house like this, you encounter a bellowing ogre!
  
  “Boy, what the fuck do you think yer doin’ running around bare ass naked?!” it yells.
  “What’s going…what the fuck?” its wife says after coming into the room.
  
  The ogre charges at you, but you manage to dodge the attack causing him to smack his head against a table when he trips. The ogre’s wife attempts to hold you down, but in the ensuing scuffle you manage to stab her once in the mouth with your sword and then run away, while she’s recoiling from your attack. Just in time too, because the ogre is recovering.
  
  “YOU SICK FUCK, I’M KICKING YOUR ASS!” it yells.
  
  You run back to your hideout and barricade the door, which the ogre attempts to knock down. You see no escape until you realize the window! You can use your spell of flight!
  
  You quickly cast your spell and then open the window. Just as the Ogre breaks down the door, you make your escape to freedom!
  
  A few hours later the coroner comes by to scoop your body off the sidewalk. On the plus side, you won’t have to go through the progressively worse brain damage you would’ve undoubtedly suffered by continuing to sniff glue and other such products.
  
  The moral of this story?
  
  Sniffing inhalants might be a nice cheap high, but you can do some seriously crazy shit while under their influences. Don’t be a lazy ass. If you want to go get fucked up for cheap just raid your Dad’s liquor cabinet or get an older stranger to buy you some beer.
  
  And now you know!