text: Are you fucking serious? I was fucking joking about that! Then again you’re pretty much bat shit insane at this point anyway…
  
  Okay so you look at the poster of your unnatural object of desire, and begin to concentrate.
  
  And concentrate…
  
  And concentrate…
  
  Well you’ve stared at the fuckin’ picture long enough to get you horny as hell, but she still hasn’t come to life and spread her green legs for you yet.
  
  All you’ve gotten is an erection from your staring.
  
  Now you’re looking at your dick.
  You’re looking at the pic.
  You’re looking at your dick.
  You’re looking at the pic.
  Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick.
  
  While all this is mildly amusing, we probably should get on with this futile exercise
  
  “URRRGGGH!”
  
  That’s you still trying to wish She-Hulk into existence.
  
  You don’t have a boner anymore since all the blood rushing to your other head as you redouble your efforts into concentrating on the poster.
  
  Of course now you’re starting to give yourself a fucking headache from this nonsense, in fact you’re getting a little dizzy, you silly motherfucker.
  
  Y’know you gave it a shot, but maybe this just wasn’t meant to be.
  
  Your cousin Patricia’s still available and considering what a hopeless loser you are anyway, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you tried to pursue her again. I mean someone like you really should get it where you can and you can’t do that by jacking off to cartoon characters in your mom’s basement.
  
  Think about how she left. She seemed pretty upset on a personal level. Maybe she even liked you romantically in some way. Maybe you could contact her again.
  
  Of course if you wanna risk giving yourself a fuckin’ seizure, it’s your choice.
  > You won't be denied! Not when you're THIS close to paradise!
  You think and wish and concentrate and all that other shit like you’ve never done before!
  
  And congratu-fuckin’-lations, you just knocked yourself fuckin’ unconscious you wacky fucktard!
  
  You’re not out for long though and when you come to, you hear a voice say to you…
  
  “Are you alright?”
  
  You rub your eyes. Can it be? IT IS! IT FUCKIN’ IS! IT’S SHE-HULK! In all her green Amazonian glory!
  
  You knew it! You knew if you worked for it hard enough, and wanted it bad enough, dreams really can come true!
  
  She-Hulk looks at you smiling, and helps you up. She wants you, you KNOW it. You were meant to be together! And this your big chance to hit that sweet green pussy!
  
  You briefly think about talking with her to get to know her a little better…
  
  Talk? What’s to talk about? You already know everything about her from the comics you read! No you gotta be a man of action! That’s what got her to come to life in the first place. You kiss She-Hulk.
  
  She kisses you back! You were half expecting her to clean your clock, but with the way things are going it looks like she’s gonna be sucking you cock!
  
  This fuckin’ rules!
  
  You and She-Hulk express your mutual love for each other in a physical way. She does things to you that you haven’t even had wet dreams about! (And you’ve had a lot of them) What surprises you the most is that’s she’s a gentle lover, which makes this not only physical attraction, but an emotional and even spiritual one as well. You are truly in heaven…
  
  At least until your Mom walks in on you!
  
  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” she screams.
  
  You suddenly realize you haven’t been fucking She-Hulk at all. You’ve been ramming your dick into your poster of her on the wall the entire time you crazy fucker! You’ve ruined your poster, you’ve ruined your wall, you’ve ruined your dick and you’ve ruined your life! (Okay so your life was already ruined to begin with, but I was on a roll)
  
  You dumb motherfucker, all the wishing in the world ain’t gonna make that green mutant come to life! (And like she would want YOU even if she was real!)
  
  Your Mom has you committed (And who could blame her) You spend years in therapy trying to get over your obsession for She-Hulk, eventually your love goes away. It’s not easy, but the doctors manage to help you kick the green goddess by giving you other comics to read. In time you soon forget all about She-Hulk and don’t know what you ever saw in her, as you read your other comics.
  
  You should’ve been focusing more on Wonder Woman!
  Now she’s REALLY hot!
  
  Hey maybe if you wish REAL hard…