text: Thanks for playing. Enjoy the troll blood.
  > You play as a Sparkly Vampire
  Really, you want to be a sparkly vampire? What kind of writer do you think I am? I have standards after all. Do you really want to be a sparkly vampire, or are you just trying to piss me off?
  > You you're sorry. You'll pick something more appropriate.
  That’s right young lady. No hero of mine is going to be some sissified vampire. My heroes have pretty blue eyes, long blonde hair and flawless pearly whites. Manliness.