"Rohn, Lewis, Sean, Larry and Beck" you muse  as you stand up to regard them.

They were all part of another team of your  special forces unit that had been regarded Killed in Action during a search and rescue mission two years ago in a Siberian bank heist. The discovery finally solved a mystery in which both the team, the robbers and the money were never found.

You remain speechless as the revelation hits you piece by piece. No wonder the heist was executed with pin point precision.

"We don't have time." muttered Jack. He picks a box full of cash and places it at your feet and signals the team to pack off.

You are still in a dilemma as the team leaves you standing and walks away towards a parking lot guns in hand.
> You warn the police officers and pursue the robbers
You warn the officer that there was an explosive rigged to blow in the tunnel. You wait for backup and decide to pursue the team.

Although your backup sustains injuries and deaths you manage to arrest 2 of the men and recover a total of 112 million dollars. You also save the lives of 10 police officers. You receive a presidential commendation and are appointed the director of the National Security Division.
> You retribution
You are at your office when you receive a call that a group of terrorists have held hostages in a nearby bank. The terrorists demand that you be handed over to them in exchange for the release of the hostages. the president gives you a call and lets you know that he trusts your judgment. As you deliberate on the matter a hostage is shot dead.

You assess the situation. 1 life for many.......seemingly fairtrade.


You decide to first shoot the 2nd floor terrorist and send the bomb disposal expert. A sniper takes out the 2nd floor terrorist. The rest of the terrorists seem not to notice. You send in the bomb disposal expert through a fire escape collumn at the side of the building. He gets to the location and as he attempts to tinker with it another terrorist gets into the room and shoots your expert. Immediately he rushes to arm the bomb and is shot too by your sniper as he runs away. Hostages begin running out of the building but as they run out, an explosion tears the yard around the buidling throwing away debris .

You are thrown away by the force and find yourself in a nearby ditch after a while. You stand up and look around, your ears ringing from the explosion.

Your entire team is wiped out.

You limp towards the entrance of the building to inspect the building. Debris is scattered all over the floor and the hall is obscured by a plume of smoke and dust settling from the explosion. you manage to reach the open vault. It has been plundered with cash bundles strewn on the floor. Its seems the robbers stole what they could carry.

You limp back to the banking hall and notice a hole on the ground but before you approach it you notice your leg is bleeding profusely and tear off a piece of cloth from the debris to bandage the wound. Just then an ambulance parks at the front entrance with its sirens blaring. A paramedic runs into the bank and looks around the bank for survivors that might need help.

He runs back towards you. "You don't look good," he proclaims as he proceeds to examine your leg."You need to go to hospital.'' You barely hear his voice.

Out of confusion you don't say a word. Your ears are still ringing from the explosion. Just then you remember that your second team was laying an ambush at the end of the tunnels. The medic holds your hand towards the exit and you see a police vehicle idling with its doors open. You could easily jump into the vehicle and drive to the ambush site but your leg hurts
> You go to hospital
You decide to let your assistant handle the situation. You get onto the ambulance and go to hospital. You later learn that the ambush team was wiped out in the attack and another 10 police officers were killed by explosives. A total of 112 million dollars was stolen from the bank.

You are tried for negligence and lose your job over the your team and the police officers' deaths.


You call your assistant and assign him an assault team of 10 strong. You send them to the septic tank and brief them. The team leaves and lays ambush at the location.

As the second  team drives away enroute to their location they catch a glimpse of a bomb set near the second floor window manned by one of the terrorists and let you know about it. You call your bomb expert and brief him. He examines the location and confirms that it was indeed a bomb. He tells you  the good news  that the bomb had to be manually set off to go off after a 5 minute timed delay.

You wonder whether it is better to shoot the 2nd floor terrorist first and send the bomb expert to dispose it but risk a panic by the terrorist who may shoot the hostages or

Take out the 2nd floor terrorist during the surprise attack and takeover the building without risking the hostage deaths by shooting
> You surprise attack
You decide a coordinated surprise attack would be more effective in arresting the fallout from the hostage situation.

You order your sniper to shoot the terrorist on 2nd floor and shoot anyone entering the room when the attack commences. You give the command and the attack is made. All hostages run out of the building but the terrorist disappear through the underground water tunnels. You alert your team laying ambush to expect  company at their end.

You jump into a waiting car and rush to the ambush site


The building was renovated a decade ago and the old waterways were sealed with waterproof cement. It had remained unused for the period of time. The drainage had a diameter of about a meter and led to an abandoned septic tank 3 blocks away.
> You ignore waterway and focus on the current location
You decided the waterway is too old and is sealed. In addition you know that the terrorists were most likely to use the hostages to escape. It would be a waste of resources to send another team to the septic tank and you would rather focus your attention on the current location
> You prisoner release
After 20 minutes the prisoner has boarded the plane and is airborne. You inform the terrorists that their prisoner is airborne. The terrorists demand that the plane land at a secondary private airstrip near the border and be handed to a team waiting to transfer him to a jet.

You weigh your options. If you complied with their actions,the prisoner is likely to escape since you were not allowed to pursue targets across the border, otherwise it would spew diplomatic rows as it would be seen as an act of war.

If you detained the prisoner, the terrorists are likely to kill all the hostages at the bank. Both options were not tenable but a choice had to be made
> The bluff
You decide to release the prisoner and decide to accompany the team escorting the prisoner to the strip. You get to the airstrip and find a jet ready to leave. You realize there is no way of retaining the prisoner and that the best way is to first ensure safe custody of hostages.The prisoner embarks on the jet and you rush back to the plane to coordinate the hostage release. As your plane nears the city you see a billow of black smoke rising to the sky.

You learn that your entire team has been wiped out.  As you are still pondering, your cell phone rings. It is your brother's wife calling.You pick up the call and listen.

"Halo........he is gone, he is gone" sobs your sister in law

"who is gone? where...." You ask

"Tim was killed in the attack"she answers and continues to cry until the line goes dead.

You  hold your head in anguish

Later on you discover that the prisoner release was a trick diversion to draw your attention away from the  bank. A large consignment of cash was stolen through abandoned underground waterways and the bombs set off anyway by a group believed to be ex-military personnel.


You decide that its not worth losing hostages over a single prisoner. Furthermore, it would be easier to trace a group of escaping terrorists running across the country with all the inter-agency resources at your disposal.

You call the Director and he shares your views after assurance of the mission's success. You promise him that you would not let the terrorists escape. He barks vehemently on the phone and lets you know that if they escape you would be answerable.

You immediately call back the terrorists and inform them of the decision to comply with their demands. The terrorists demand that their prisoner be put on a plane to a destination that would be disclosed once the plane was airbound. You make the arrangements and go back to looking at the floor plans.

You notice an underlying old waterway below the building's blue print.

> You ignore the waterway and focus on coordinating the release
You decided the waterway is too old and is sealed. In addition you know that the terrorists were most likely to use the hostages to escape. It would be a waste of resources to send another team to the septic tank and you would rather focus your attention on the current location.
> You prisoner release
The terrorists demand for their prisoner to be put on a plane whose destination would be disclosed once it was airborne.

After 20 minutes the prisoner has boarded the plane and is airborne. You inform the terrorists that their prisoner is airborne. The terrorists demand that the plane land at a secondary private airstrip near the border and be handed to a team waiting to transfer him to a jet.

You weigh your options. If you complied with their actions,the prisoner is likely to escape since you were not allowed to pursue targets across the border, otherwise it would spew diplomatic rows as it would be seen as an act of war.

If you detained the prisoner, the terrorists are likely to kill all the hostages at the bank. Both options were not tenable but a choice had to be made

> The bluff
You decide to release the prisoner and decide to accompany the team escorting the prisoner to the strip. You get to the airstrip and find a jet ready to leave. You realize there is no way of retaining the prisoner and that the best way is to first ensure safe custody of hostages.The prisoner embarks on the jet and you rush back to the plane to coordinate the hostage release. As your plane nears the city you see a billow of black smoke rising to the sky.

You learn that your entire team has been wiped out.  In addition, a cash consignment of 112 million dollars has been stolen from the bank by the robbers  who escaped through underground waterways. The prisoner release was a ruse to distract you from the escape.

You are tried for negligence and for the death of your team.


You run to the kitchen where your wife is cooking. She smiles as she sees you. You quickly peck her on the cheek and you tell her that you have an urgent work situation. She understands and bids you goodbye.

You rush out and jump onto your SUV and pull away from the parking lot in a hurry. 15 minutes later you get to your designated location and notice a number of police vehicles with their hazard lights on. Your team is already on site and awaiting further orders. You alight half running and your assistant Special agent in charge hands you your protective gear and gun. He briefs you on the situation on site and waits for your command. You assess the situation including all exit routes from the building.

The terrorists have held hostage a total of 27 customers and 12 employees of the bank.They demand that a well known terrorist be released or hostages will be executed by the hour. You learn that the terrorists had planned their stay with enough food supplies for 3 days and were not planning to leave anytime. Delaying tactics would not work.

You look at your watch and you only have 4 minutes until the 1st hostage is executed. Your assistants holds the line for the Director National Security Branch, just in case you decide to negotiate.

"We are running out of time sir" He urges

Snipers were in position and the team had also taken the front  and back entrances
> You launch a surgical strike with unknown casualties
You decide to launch a surgical strike but you don't know the number of  casualties that would be injured . As you read through your plan for the final time you notice some old abandoned underground waterways  beneath the building.


You pick up the walkie-talkie and reply "Copy dog patch 6"

"New events have come up that need your immediate presence" replied the voice with an acute touch of urgency

"Errr, I am........."

"Its a level 1 situation, gather your team and get to M&T bank at Queensferry and Seagate immediately over" cut in the voice

You jump onto your feet and run into the house. You dress quickly and run out. As you run out of your bed room remember you have not told your wife that you are leaving.
> You run outside the house
You decide that you don't have the time to talk to your wife and you rush out ,jump onto your SUV and pull away from the parking lot in a hurry. You step on the accelerator as you hit the highway.

Meanwhile your wife rushes outside and finds the SUV tearing away from the parking lot at high speed. Unaware that it was you driving away, she immediately thinks the car has been stolen and rushes to call the police to report the theft.

"What is your emergency?'' Asks the telephone operator on the other end

"I am reporting a stolen vehicle" she replies

She describes the vehicle  and  its last seen location.

"We have officers on that road, just give me a moment."

The line goes quiet for a moment and then the operator speaks,"officers have placed a road block on all roads.we shall inform you of all new developments. meanwhile stay in touch in case we need clarification."

> You roadblock
You have been driving at high speed for the last 4 minutes. Suddenly you notice a traffic jam forming ahead of you. You pull out of the road and drive along the walk way honking as you snake your way through the lines of vehicles. You get to a junction and an officer signals for you to stop. Before you explain your situation 3 officers point guns at your face as the rest close the road.

They force you out the vehicle and cuff you on the ground. As you try to explain yourself you are whisked away and the vehicle is searched for weapons. They find a walkie-talkie and service pistol and they immediately take you to a police station 20 minutes away. Unfortunately you have forgotten your badge and cannot prove that you are an agent.

The 1st opportunity you get to speak is at the interview room when you are being questioned. You explain the day's predicaments and by the time you finish your wife appears in the questioning room. She informs the police that you are her husband and they let you go after apologizing. They hand you back your pistol, walkie-talkie and car. Just as you are about to leave the station you catch a glimpse of the television at the reception.

It has been the perfect rest day. You lie on the couch and switch on the Television. There is breaking news showing terrorism attack in your city. 139 civilians and 23 agents of the Anti-terrorism Unit are reported dead from an explosion that rocked a bank in your city. The terrorists are said to have demanded for release of a well known prisoner but the security forces decided to launch an attack to rescue the hostages. Unknown to them, the whole building had been rigged to blow in case a rescue mission was attempted.

You shoot to your feet, mouth agape as you take in the bad news. Your whole team has been wiped out  in the attack. As you are still pondering, your cell phone rings. It is your brother's wife calling.

You pick up the call and listen.

"Halo........he is gone, he is gone" sobs your sister in law

"who is gone? where...." You ask

"Tim was killed in the attack"she answers and continues to cry until the line goes dead.

You fall onto your knees and hold your head in anguish

> You retribution
You pull out of your grief in an instant. You call your senior and learn that the explosion has devastated your security force. You jump into your SUV and hit the road once more. Its a furious drive to the site and your feet hit the ground as the car screeches to a halt. You can feel adrenaline coursing  through your veins as you walk over the site to look for clues, the kind that you usually felt when jumping off planes and dodging bullets back in the army.

A couple of rescuers are on site to pull the hostages from the  debris. Your eyes pore over as you look for what could be the bodies of the dead terrorists.

A gaping hole welcomes you to one corner office at the far left of the banking hole. You peer into the hole and discover an underground tunnel. It seems old  but wide enough to snuggle through. None of the bodies outside matched the profile of terrorists. You realize this could be the gunmen's escape route.

> You pursuit
You look around you and notice an armored truck pulling over at the bank's foyer. Its a replenishment of agents from your force. You immediately talk to a team leader disembarking from one of the vehicles.

You walk over your findings with him. He spreads out  a security map indicating old underground tunnels leading to an abandoned septic tank 3 blocks away. He assigns you a 10 man detail  and a vehicle and selects another 10 men to pursue the attackers from the bank through the tunnels.
> You go to the ambush
You get there and immediately you alight from your vehicle a fire fight begins. The robbers seem to be heavily armed and pin down your officers. Your team is annihilated and taken down. Your  M16 rifle  runs out of ammunition  and you find yourself surrounded by  5 masked men. They get to your position but hesitate once they see your face. the leader of the team raises his arm and clenches a fist to command the men to hold fire - special forces style. As you wonder why you are being spared a 5th man emerges from the tunnel and shouts "tunnels are boobytrapped." He screeches to a stop when he notices you lying on the floor like a deer amidst a pack of wolves.

Your eyes meet and for a moment your faces show bewilderment. "Jack? Is that you?" You ask as he looks down. The rest of the men peel off their masks.

> You unlikely reunion
"Rohn, Lewis, Sean, Larry and Beck" you muse  as you stand up to regard them.

They were all part of another team of your  special forces unit that had been regarded Killed in Action during a search and rescue mission two years ago in a Siberian bank heist. The discovery finally solved a mystery in which both the team, the robbers and the money were never found.

You remain speechless as the revelation hits you piece by piece. No wonder the heist was executed with pin point precision.

"We don't have time." muttered Jack. He picks a box full of cash and places it at your feet and signals the team to pack off.

You are still in a dilemma as the team leaves you standing and walks away towards a parking lot guns in hand.


Its a sunny Saturday morning, you are sitted on the staircase to your home sipping coffee and mulling over the day's newspaper after your routine morning run. Its a your rest day and you plan on tucking in the whole day having had 2 long weeks. Its been 2 years since you left the military and joined the Anti-Terrorism Unit having earned a medal of honor for saving your team from what would have been an overwhelming annihilation from enemy forces in Syria.

Non-military life had its perks-relaxed time frames, more family time, no foreboding barking of commands and best of all a near-predictable life routine. Your walkie-talkie is rested on the floor next to you, just in case there were any alerts on the events frequency.

Just then it chuckles to life as you turn a page on the newspaper.
> You do not pick up walkie-talkie
You look at the walkie-talkie. Its not your job since you are on rest. You had promised your wife to stay at home and play with the kids. More so, there were other Special Agents in charge to lead the team.You turn to the next page and proceed to read the news paper ignoring the call.

The line goes quiet and you forget the whole incident. You can smell something sweet coming from the kitchen and you cant wait to have  the good meal.
> You perfect rest day
It has been the perfect rest day. You lie on the couch and switch on the Television. There is breaking news showing terrorism attack in your city. 139 civilians and 23 agents of the Anti-terrorism Unit are reported dead from an explosion that rocked a bank in your city. The terrorists are said to have demanded for release of a well known prisoner but the security forces decided to launch an attack to rescue the hostages. Unknown to them, the whole building had been rigged to blow in case a rescue mission was attempted.

You shoot to your feet, mouth agape as you take in the bad news. Your whole team has been wiped out  in the attack. As you are still pondering, your cell phone rings. It is your brother's wife calling.

You pick up the call and listen.

"Halo........he is gone, he is gone" sobs your sister in law

"who is gone? where...." You ask

"Tim was killed in the attack"she answers and continues to cry until the line goes dead.

You fall onto the couch and hold your head in anguish


INTRODUCTION: This game is stupid, unrealistic, and not time specific at all. There will be weird references to things that haven't happened yet, misplaced musical cues, and a bunch of other lazy mistakes. Hopefully it will be fun, though. Try to do the stupid stuff, as it's usually funnier. Dying doesn't matter much and please don't take this too seriously.  Good luck!

Also, you'll come across items which represent proficiencies that will enable you to overcome certain obstacles you'll face in the story or alternatively cooler ways to solve problems. Click them once, and you'll take them. You don't need to use an item, it'll just unlock alternative choices throughout the plot.

If you like music, we have also developed a few minute-long tracks to further induce the trance-like state that the '90s should provide for you.  download them here. You'll know you've unlocked a song when some text at the top of a node tells you. Or, feel free to just play the songs whenever you feel if it helps you get immersed.

Like This if Time Travel is Real and I'm in the '90s Again

The calming glow of your computer screen splays a dim light across a complete collection of Nicktoon posters. You’ve liked your last 90s Remembrance page for the night, and close Facebook before settling back for another viewing of Jerry McGuire.  You’re 46 years old, your parents are dead, and Tony just got married.  You reopen Facebook, idly spitting some tobacco into your Catdog Licensed Cup, and navigate to Tony’s page.  Wow, looks like he just got another award for some bullshit science achievement.  You’re sure mom and dad would be proud of him, just like they always were.  Rocco jumps on your lap, purring excitedly, as she can sense some hot fire about to be spat on your idiot brother’s face.
> You download them here


Its another day and you feel nothing...

You're 18 years old and very socially inept. Naturally you're not popular in high school, you're not even worthy to be routinely picked on. This isn't to say you aren't at all, but most people just find you very creepy and stay away from you. You're mom's strict upbringing has made you very emotionally detached and repressed. At this point you barely feel any kind of emotions at all.

Maybe that changes today.

Your Mom is calling you down to eat.
> You go downstairs
You head downstairs, like you always do. No point in breaking tradition.

When you get downstairs your Mom is arguing with your 17 year old sister as usual. She isn't like you at all, she's popular for one thing, but then again being a very pretty and extroverted will do that for a person.

She's a bit of a wild child though which your domineering mother can't stand. You wonder why your sister acts the way she does, Mom's just trying to look out for her.

They're really arguing today.
> You sit down, eat and stay out of it
You sit and eat your breakfast quietly while the two argue as usual. It doesn't involve you, so why get into it?

"You little fucking whore! You keep staying out all night, and you can just forget about living under my roof! Go fucking sleep in the street with the rest of the sluts!"

"Oh go fuck yourself Mom! You're just mad because you're a fucking bitter old harpy with nobody in your fucking life!"
"Why you fucking little bitch!" your Mom says and slaps your sister across the face.

Your sister holds her face and shuts up. She picks up her school stuff and heads toward the door, before exiting she says one last thing, before slamming the door.

"Don't worry Mom, I'm not staying in this fucking house another day!"

You finish up your breakfast, your Mom doesn't even acknowledge you're there, she leaves the kitchen in a huff rather quickly.

She must be really pissed.
> You head to school
Mom's strong, she doesn't need you checking up on her. You head to school as normal. What else would you do?

You get to school just in time for you to see Henry the school bully kicking the hell out of your "friend" Aaron. Aaron isn't so much your friend in that he's such a social reject that you're the only one who doesn't treat him like a leper, so he's attached himself to you. Of course you could really care less about him. Sometimes you wish he'd leave you alone, since he only makes you stand out more, when all you want to do is blend into the background.

"Get the fuck up you faggot!" Henry shouts abusively at Aaron while kicking him gleefully.
Aaron looks at you in the hopes that you'll help.
> You go to class
Its between Henry and Aaron. Why get involved? Henry would just draw his attention to you, and you have no desire for that.

You go to your classes as usual and do your work again as usual. In your computer class you see Jessica. She's one of your sister's friends, but isn't as wild as most of them. Doesn't stop her from being a normal teenager though, assuming you had any idea of what normal is. You don't know what it is about her, but she stirs some kind of feeling inside you. She doesn't really know you at all, other than you're Mary's "creepy" brother.

She looks like she's having difficulty with today's computer lesson.
> You continue with your work
She's never made any effort to talk to you, so you don't feel the overwhelming need to talk to her. You continue with your work until that class is over.

Lunch time comes around, you expect Aaron to come sit next to you, but he's nowhere to be seen. You wonder if Henry beat him up so bad he had to go home.

As you sit by yourself eating quietly, you overhear Butch at the next table.

"Yeah that fucking bitch sucked my dick last night! Haw Haw!"

Butch is your sister's jock boyfriend, even though they're constantly breaking up and making up. The break ups are mainly due to him cheating on her all the time, but she always ends up forgiving him. You don't know why, even you think your sister could do way better.

Right now Butch is bragging to his buddies about his latest conquest, which apparently wasn't your sister.
> You finish eating and go to class
Your sister is aware of Butch's infidelity, its up to her to leave him. What good would it do to confront him? After all it isn't really your concern.

You finish eating and head back to class. On your way there, you pass Henry. Normally Henry doesn't bother with you, save the occasional name calling, but he's looking for a fight.

"Hey dickhead! I saw you looking at me kicking that faggot Aaron's ass! I know you two fucking butt boys hang out, aren't you pissed off that I kicked your boyfriend's ass?" Henry says getting in your face and pushing you.
> You ignore him
You step aside and walk around him. Henry's a little surprised.

"Hey faggot, I'm talking to you bitch!" he shouts as you continue to ignore him. Henry hits you in the back of the head with a thrown pencil which you continue to ignore. Sensing his actions aren't getting the desired effect, he stops harassing you.
"Fuck this creepy faggot." Henry mutters to himself and goes in search of different prey.

You attend the last of your classes and then leave the school. You run into your sister outside. She walks up to talk to you.

"Hey, I'm gonna stay with Butch tonight, and I think I might just stay over there permanently, his parents all cool enough to let me stay there. I'll be moving all my stuff out a little bit at a time, but I'll try to be quick, so you can tell that controlling bitch that she won't have to deal with me anymore."

Wow, your sister wasn't joking about moving out.
> You tell her you'll relay the message to Mom
You nod and say okay unemotionally. Your sister looks at you a little worried.

"You know, you should get out of that house too. I mean look at what Mom has done to you. You're a fucking emotionless robot! You just do everything Mom tells you. Is that really how you want to go through life?"

You don't say anything.

"Look, take care of yourself and remember that you don't need to do everything that Mom says."

She hugs you goodbye and leaves.

You head back home and when Mom comes back home from work you explain what happened to your sister. Your Mom looks angry, but also relieved, almost as if having her out of the house is a blessing.

"Good, that little disobedient bitch can stay gone then. Well what are you doing still standing around for? You know you have work to do around the house!"
> You do as Mom says
You do some cleaning and other chores, then you go up to your room and occupy your time until your Mom tells you to go to sleep, which you comply. You go to sleep until morning, then you wake up.

Its another day and you feel nothing...


You nod and say okay unemotionally. Your sister looks at you a little worried.

"You know, you should get out of that house too. I mean look at what Mom has done to you. You're a fucking emotionless robot! You just do everything Mom tells you. Is that really how you want to go through life?"

You don't say anything.

"Look, take care of yourself and remember that you don't need to do everything that Mom says."

She hugs you goodbye and leaves.

You head back home and when Mom comes back home from work you explain what happened to your sister. Your Mom looks angry, but also relieved, almost as if having her out of the house is a blessing.

"Good, that little disobedient bitch can stay gone then. Well what are you doing still standing around for? You know you have work to do around the house!"
> You disobey Mom
You tell her no.

She slaps you. "What was that?"

You don't make anymore trouble, and do what you're told. Your sister's advice only got you punished, and what has her rebellious nature gotten her? She's been kicked out of the house. No, rules are made to be followed. To disobey invites punishment. You go to bed remembering that fact of life.

Another day arrives, and you feel nothing...


You step aside and walk around him. Henry's a little surprised.

"Hey faggot, I'm talking to you bitch!" he shouts as you continue to ignore him. Henry hits you in the back of the head with a thrown pencil which you continue to ignore. Sensing his actions aren't getting the desired effect, he stops harassing you.
"Fuck this creepy faggot." Henry mutters to himself and goes in search of different prey.

You attend the last of your classes and then leave the school. You run into your sister outside. She walks up to talk to you.

"Hey, I'm gonna stay with Butch tonight, and I think I might just stay over there permanently, his parents all cool enough to let me stay there. I'll be moving all my stuff out a little bit at a time, but I'll try to be quick, so you can tell that controlling bitch that she won't have to deal with me anymore."

Wow, your sister wasn't joking about moving out.
> You tell her that Butch has been cheating on her again
You suddenly realize that with your sister gone, you'll be the only one there to face Mom. Even you sense that isn't a good thing. Maybe underneath all your automaton type behavior you do have a certain sense of self-preservation. If anything you're concerned about the changes that your sister leaving might bring, and even though you might not show it, you fear change.

You tell your sister about Butch, she gets upset, but isn't really surprised. She'll probably break up with him, only to get back with him later. But for now its enough to convince her not to go move in with him. The status quo is kept in check.

Home life continues as normal, your Mom yells at your sister and she yells back. There's something that is reassuring about that familiarity.

Another day arrives and you feel comfortably numb...


Your sister is aware of Butch's infidelity, its up to her to leave him. What good would it do to confront him? After all it isn't really your concern.

You finish eating and head back to class. On your way there, you pass Henry. Normally Henry doesn't bother with you, save the occasional name calling, but he's looking for a fight.

"Hey dickhead! I saw you looking at me kicking that faggot Aaron's ass! I know you two fucking butt boys hang out, aren't you pissed off that I kicked your boyfriend's ass?" Henry says getting in your face and pushing you.
> You punch him
When Henry pushes you, you look confused at first, but then your expression turns to anger. Then your emotions soon follow...

You punch Henry straight in the nose causing it to explode in a gout of blood! Henry screams when he sees all that blood gushing from his nose. You don't just stop there though, you then take his pinky finger and break it. At this point you are drawing a crowd, while some others go to fetch a teacher.

You slam Henry's head into the hard ground until his skull cracks. Henry's already unconscious at this point, but you continue to kick him in the stomach until a teacher finally pulls you off, at which point to go quietly.

This act of wild unleashed anger gets you in severe trouble, namely prison for attempted murder. You don't seem to mind though, Its a structured environment that you're used to, and you welcome the chance to unleash your endless pent up anger on your fellow inmates.

Another day arrives in your cell you feel fury...


Your sister is aware of Butch's infidelity, its up to her to leave him. What good would it do to confront him? After all it isn't really your concern.

You finish eating and head back to class. On your way there, you pass Henry. Normally Henry doesn't bother with you, save the occasional name calling, but he's looking for a fight.

"Hey dickhead! I saw you looking at me kicking that faggot Aaron's ass! I know you two fucking butt boys hang out, aren't you pissed off that I kicked your boyfriend's ass?" Henry says getting in your face and pushing you.
> You tell him you could care less about Aaron
Your detached answer, only causes Henry to believe that you're smarting off to him. He immediately kicks you in the balls and trust me you DO feel that!

He then drags you into the bathroom and beats the hell out of you and leaves you for dead. As you struggle to get your head out of the toilet you lose consciousness due to the massive gash in your head that's bleeding profusely.

Later you're found by the janitor who manages to get you to a hospital just in time for you to live. Not in time for you to have not suffered brain damage though.

Oddly this has an interesting effect on your previous emotional condition. You revert back to a childlike state. Your Mom actually is nicer to you and in general, and sis seems to stop partying as much. Your unfortunate event has inadvertantly brought them closer to each other and to you. Of course you're unaware of such things, you just know that two pretty ladies take care of you.

Another day arrives and you feel playful...


She's never made any effort to talk to you, so you don't feel the overwhelming need to talk to her. You continue with your work until that class is over.

Lunch time comes around, you expect Aaron to come sit next to you, but he's nowhere to be seen. You wonder if Henry beat him up so bad he had to go home.

As you sit by yourself eating quietly, you overhear Butch at the next table.

"Yeah that fucking bitch sucked my dick last night! Haw Haw!"

Butch is your sister's jock boyfriend, even though they're constantly breaking up and making up. The break ups are mainly due to him cheating on her all the time, but she always ends up forgiving him. You don't know why, even you think your sister could do way better.

Right now Butch is bragging to his buddies about his latest conquest, which apparently wasn't your sister.
> You confront Butch
Probably not the best time to act on your feelings...

You suddenly feel the need to defend your sister's honor by confronting Butch and his six football playing buddies. Needless to say, you don't win that confrontation.

For the most part you're more humilated than beaten beyond recognition. Still, its enough to deter you from displaying emotion ever again, you go back to your low profile emotionless lifestyle. Things are just easier that way for you.

Another day arrives and you feel nothing...


Its between Henry and Aaron. Why get involved? Henry would just draw his attention to you, and you have no desire for that.

You go to your classes as usual and do your work again as usual. In your computer class you see Jessica. She's one of your sister's friends, but isn't as wild as most of them. Doesn't stop her from being a normal teenager though, assuming you had any idea of what normal is. You don't know what it is about her, but she stirs some kind of feeling inside you. She doesn't really know you at all, other than you're Mary's "creepy" brother.

She looks like she's having difficulty with today's computer lesson.
> You help Jessica
Under different circumstances, this might have worked, but your cold emotionless demeanor is still very much a part of you. When you approach Jessica to help her, she declines and gives you a funny look.

You go back to doing what you were doing. In fact you go about your usual routine for the rest of the day. The fact Jessica turned you down, seems to only make you supress your feelings and retreat into your own world even more. Eventually you go home and go to bed.

Another day arrives and you still feel nothing...


Mom's strong, she doesn't need you checking up on her. You head to school as normal. What else would you do?

You get to school just in time for you to see Henry the school bully kicking the hell out of your "friend" Aaron. Aaron isn't so much your friend in that he's such a social reject that you're the only one who doesn't treat him like a leper, so he's attached himself to you. Of course you could really care less about him. Sometimes you wish he'd leave you alone, since he only makes you stand out more, when all you want to do is blend into the background.

"Get the fuck up you faggot!" Henry shouts abusively at Aaron while kicking him gleefully.
Aaron looks at you in the hopes that you'll help.
> You help Aaron
Sometimes attempting to do something positive doesn't work out.

You attempt to tell Henry to leave Aaron alone, but that doesn't help you. Henry just gets mad and attacks you instead. His anger for you interfering results in him beating you very badly. In fact you don't survive.

One last breath and then you feel nothing...


You sit and eat your breakfast quietly while the two argue as usual. It doesn't involve you, so why get into it?

"You little fucking whore! You keep staying out all night, and you can just forget about living under my roof! Go fucking sleep in the street with the rest of the sluts!"

"Oh go fuck yourself Mom! You're just mad because you're a fucking bitter old harpy with nobody in your fucking life!"
"Why you fucking little bitch!" your Mom says and slaps your sister across the face.

Your sister holds her face and shuts up. She picks up her school stuff and heads toward the door, before exiting she says one last thing, before slamming the door.

"Don't worry Mom, I'm not staying in this fucking house another day!"

You finish up your breakfast, your Mom doesn't even acknowledge you're there, she leaves the kitchen in a huff rather quickly.

She must be really pissed.
> You go check on Mom
For some reason you feel the urge to check on Mom, you head towards her room.

She's crying. You've never seen her like this! You've always known her to be a hard tough woman, its a little shocking to see this side of her.

She notices you and quickly wipes her eyes and reverts back to her old self.

"What the hell are you doing here?! Get the fuck to school!!"
> You attempt to reach out to her
You ignore her abuse, you now know her lashing out is merely a reflection of her own unhappiness. You continue to ask what's wrong and that you're only here to help.

Your genuine concern and her vulnerable state seems to cause her to open up a bit. She breaks down and says how, she's sorry for failing as a parent, and how she's losing your sister, and she doesn't want to lose you either.

You tell her if perhaps she was less controling, things might be better. You say you'll see what you can do about sis. Your Mom thanks you and after a few more hugs and reassurances, you rush off to school. On your way there, your emotions are a little less surpressed. You feel like you have a goal to accomplish now.

You get to school a little late, which results in you getting sent to the principal's office where you run into Henry, the school bully. He's there for beating someone up as usual. He gives you a dirty look and the finger.
> You attempt to reach out to him
That routine might work on those close to you, but not on anti-social miscreants who hate your guts!

As you attempt to ask why Henry feels the need to be hostile to everyone, his expression turns to repulsion. He thinks you're hitting on him.

"What the fuck are you, some fucking faggot or something?" he says and then attacks you right in the principal's office! He beats you pretty bad before the principal manages to get him off of you. You end up having to go to the hospital.

Your sister and Mom come to visit you and they get into an even bigger arguement resulting in a physical fight. Any goal you had of trying to patch up your family has been shattered forever. You don't seem to care anymore though, you realize playing peacemaker was a fool's quest anyway. Look what it got you. You fall asleep keeping that thought in mind.

You wake up the next day in your hospital bed and you feel nothing...


You ignore her abuse, you now know her lashing out is merely a reflection of her own unhappiness. You continue to ask what's wrong and that you're only here to help.

Your genuine concern and her vulnerable state seems to cause her to open up a bit. She breaks down and says how, she's sorry for failing as a parent, and how she's losing your sister, and she doesn't want to lose you either.

You tell her if perhaps she was less controling, things might be better. You say you'll see what you can do about sis. Your Mom thanks you and after a few more hugs and reassurances, you rush off to school. On your way there, your emotions are a little less surpressed. You feel like you have a goal to accomplish now.

You get to school a little late, which results in you getting sent to the principal's office where you run into Henry, the school bully. He's there for beating someone up as usual. He gives you a dirty look and the finger.
> You ignore him
You aren't here to be Gandhi and you aren't here to get into anymore trouble so you ignore Henry who gets called in soon.

You sit and think how you want a close family. One that isn't always fighting or being controling. You know you can patch your family up and make it functional rather than dysfunctional, you just have to figure out how to do it.

In the meantime the secretary tells you that the principal is going to be with Henry for a long time and since you're a fairly good student who never causes trouble, she says you can leave with a warning.

You go to lunch, still trying to figure out how to fix your family when over at the table behind you, you hear your sister's boyfriend Butch bragging to his friends about some girl he slept with who wasn't your sister.
> You confront Butch
Exposing your sister's cheating cad of a boyfriend was the right direction, but you definitely went the WRONG way about it.

Butch and his friends laugh at your attempt to convince him to confess to your sister or you'll do it.

They beat you and humilate you, then run off laughing. In a cruel twist you get sent to the principal's office again where he's less flexible. He assumes you're a trouble maker and suspends you effective immediately. You don't get a chance to talk to your sister, she and Butch take off early for some party. When your Mom gets home, your sister's run away event and your suspension put your Mom back in her usual hard ass mood. She screams at you and says your sister isn't her daughter anymore, can go to hell and stay there because she isn't welcome here anymore.

You've failed. Your attempts have been futile. You might as well not tried at all. You were the only one who really cared. You just thought that maybe if you had a more stable home life, you could feel like a normal person, but that goal is lost. You go to bed.

Another day arrives and you feel nothing...


You aren't here to be Gandhi and you aren't here to get into anymore trouble so you ignore Henry who gets called in soon.

You sit and think how you want a close family. One that isn't always fighting or being controling. You know you can patch your family up and make it functional rather than dysfunctional, you just have to figure out how to do it.

In the meantime the secretary tells you that the principal is going to be with Henry for a long time and since you're a fairly good student who never causes trouble, she says you can leave with a warning.

You go to lunch, still trying to figure out how to fix your family when over at the table behind you, you hear your sister's boyfriend Butch bragging to his friends about some girl he slept with who wasn't your sister.
> You keep quiet
You know that subtlety is going to be required here. This information can help bring your family together, but you have to do it right.

You attend your classes as usual, eventually school ends and you see your sister. You immediately reveal this information to her. She looks very upset, yet not entirely surprised. This certainly isn't the first time he's done this. She just keeps forgiving him, and taking him back. She was planning on staying with him to get away from Mom, but now she's conflicted.

You explain what happened with Mom after she left. Your sister looks skeptical, but knows even though you're a bit emotionless, you've never lied to her. Plus your latest deed has put you in better standing with her. Your sister agrees to give getting along with Mom a chance.

You both go home and wait for Mom to get off work. Mom arrives, she's a little more calmer, but you know this is a volitile situation.
> You stay
You all sit at the table, staring at each other. You're acting as a mediator. Mom and sis start out calmly, but it quickly escalates into name calling and criticism. The usual insults. You put a stop to it and demand that they get along! Family is the most important thing and you won't just let them dismiss it. You remind them both that things haven't always been this bad between them. You remind them of the good times that you all have had at one time. Good times that have occurred much too rarely and much too long ago.

You tell them you think that's why you shut down emotionally, because it was just easier to deal with the pain of seeing two people you care for in your life grow to hate each other so much. You say how you just want all of them to be a family again. You begin to weep.

Your speech is probably the most emotional thing either of them has heard from you in years. Hell, they didn't even know you had any emotions anymore. You always did though they were just repressed, but no longer.

Your Mom and sis also begin to cry at this point. Many apologies are exchanged.
> You say how happy you are
You wipe your tears and say how happy you are that you all have managed to at least come together on this night. Mom says she'll be less domineering and sis says she'll reign in her wild side. You hold both of their hands and say you know this all won't be easy, but you have faith that you're all on your way to being a family again.

Another day arrives and you feel happy...


You all sit at the table, staring at each other. You're acting as a mediator. Mom and sis start out calmly, but it quickly escalates into name calling and criticism. The usual insults. You put a stop to it and demand that they get along! Family is the most important thing and you won't just let them dismiss it. You remind them both that things haven't always been this bad between them. You remind them of the good times that you all have had at one time. Good times that have occurred much too rarely and much too long ago.

You tell them you think that's why you shut down emotionally, because it was just easier to deal with the pain of seeing two people you care for in your life grow to hate each other so much. You say how you just want all of them to be a family again. You begin to weep.

Your speech is probably the most emotional thing either of them has heard from you in years. Hell, they didn't even know you had any emotions anymore. You always did though they were just repressed, but no longer.

Your Mom and sis also begin to cry at this point. Many apologies are exchanged.
> You group hug
You all gather in a circle and hug one another. This is the closest you've all been in years and its all thanks to you.

As you hug your Mom begins to rub her hands up and down your back, she then kisses you on the lips...passionately. You're a little surprised. Your sister then puts your hand on her ass, looks lovingly at Mom and kisses her as well.

Of course! This makes sense now! You all alway felt greater intimacy for each other, but society's laws forbade it, and you all grew detached and hostile to each other because of it. But now that barrier has been shattered forever and you're able to pursue this love.

Things eventually end up in the bedroom where you all express your love for each other in a physical way. You know that after tonight your family will be closer in ways you never dreamed about. After all family is the most important thing.

Another day arrives, you wake up beside your sister and Mom and you feel complete euphoria...


You know that subtlety is going to be required here. This information can help bring your family together, but you have to do it right.

You attend your classes as usual, eventually school ends and you see your sister. You immediately reveal this information to her. She looks very upset, yet not entirely surprised. This certainly isn't the first time he's done this. She just keeps forgiving him, and taking him back. She was planning on staying with him to get away from Mom, but now she's conflicted.

You explain what happened with Mom after she left. Your sister looks skeptical, but knows even though you're a bit emotionless, you've never lied to her. Plus your latest deed has put you in better standing with her. Your sister agrees to give getting along with Mom a chance.

You both go home and wait for Mom to get off work. Mom arrives, she's a little more calmer, but you know this is a volitile situation.
> You let Mom and sis work it out themselves
You seriously can't expect these two to work it out themselves without your help! You were the architect in all this and now you've just going to abandon your project? You're either naively optimistic or you don't want it bad enough. In either case your lack of commitment shows in a spectacular way.

Your Mom and sister eventually start disagreeing in a physical way, when this occurs you attempt to break them up. Unfortunately Mom happened to have a butcher knife at the time, you get in the way and Mom accidently stabs you right in the throat.

You feel a sharp pain briefly then you feel nothing...


For some reason you feel the urge to check on Mom, you head towards her room.

She's crying. You've never seen her like this! You've always known her to be a hard tough woman, its a little shocking to see this side of her.

She notices you and quickly wipes her eyes and reverts back to her old self.

"What the hell are you doing here?! Get the fuck to school!!"
> You go to school
You obey and go to school. There was a real opportunity to change things here, but you failed to take advantage.

The rest of your day pretty much follows the same pattern until you come home and go to bed.

Another day arrives and you feel nothing...


You head downstairs, like you always do. No point in breaking tradition.

When you get downstairs your Mom is arguing with your 17 year old sister as usual. She isn't like you at all, she's popular for one thing, but then again being a very pretty and extroverted will do that for a person.

She's a bit of a wild child though which your domineering mother can't stand. You wonder why your sister acts the way she does, Mom's just trying to look out for her.

They're really arguing today.
> You side with Mom
You know Mom's just looking out for the best interest of your sister, and you say as much. Your Mom looks a little surprised as does your sister, who then gets really angry.

"Fuck the both of you! You don't know me! You're a fucking cold hearted bitch who's wallowing in her own loneliness and you're her fucking lap dog who does everything she says!" you sister screams.

"Maybe because he actually cares about my feelings! Unlike you, you little slut!" your Mom says and then slaps her. Your sister looks like she might attempt to slap your Mom back, but your presence stops her. Instead she runs out the door, with one last comment.

“I’m leaving this fucking house of insanity! The both of you two can go straight to hell!” she says slamming the door.

Your Mom waves her hand in disgust and then turns to you.

“Thanks for taking my side. You’re such a good son.” She says and then hugs you, you return the gesture.

“Okay now head off to school, I have to go to work.”
> You head to school
As you obey Mom, your budding emotions seem to shrink back again. Maybe it was just a fluke that you acted like you did, because you certainly don't display any follow up feelings towards Mom or anyone else the entire day.

Your day follows as unemotional as usual until you go home and go to bed.

Another day arrives and you feel nothing...


You know Mom's just looking out for the best interest of your sister, and you say as much. Your Mom looks a little surprised as does your sister, who then gets really angry.

"Fuck the both of you! You don't know me! You're a fucking cold hearted bitch who's wallowing in her own loneliness and you're her fucking lap dog who does everything she says!" you sister screams.

"Maybe because he actually cares about my feelings! Unlike you, you little slut!" your Mom says and then slaps her. Your sister looks like she might attempt to slap your Mom back, but your presence stops her. Instead she runs out the door, with one last comment.

“I’m leaving this fucking house of insanity! The both of you two can go straight to hell!” she says slamming the door.

Your Mom waves her hand in disgust and then turns to you.

“Thanks for taking my side. You’re such a good son.” She says and then hugs you, you return the gesture.

“Okay now head off to school, I have to go to work.”
> You ask Mom to drive you
Your Mom again looks surprised, but also a little happy.

"Well okay, its on my way to work. Are you sure you want me too though? Won't it embarass you in front of your friends?"

Mom sure doesn't know you very well at all. You don't really have any. Of course even if you did, you wouldn't care.

Your Mom drives you to school just like you remember she used to when you were little. She always seemed a lot happier back then. She almost looks that happy again right now.

As she drops you off, she lets you out, but before she does, she kisses you goodbye...on the lips.

As she drives off, you're left feeling a little strange. You've never been very emotional, but something in you has changed. You head to your classes a little preoccupied, until Jessica comes up to you in computer class.

"Hey, can you help me with this?" she asks.
> You help Jessica
You kind of don't want to think about your Mom kissing you the way she did. It makes you uncomfortable. You take the opportunity to help Jessica to take your mind off of things.

As you help Jessica, she thanks you and becomes more friendly. She says she's always wondered about you, since you're very different than your sister who she's friends with. You open up a bit more than you normally would probably because you're still trying to get your mind off of Mom.

Its probably what makes you blurt out asking Jessica for a date after school. Jessica's a little surprised, but accepts.

When the class ends you realize you've just recieved a date with the one girl who seemed to stir some emotions in you. You begin to shake and rush to the bathroom to throw up. This is all a lot to take in. Your Mom kissed you on the lips and now you have a date with the girl of your dreams for all intense and purposes. You don't feel very hungry so you spend your lunch hour working on something for another class.

You attend the rest of your classes and eventually school comes to an end, and Jessica meets you outside.

Your emotions are all mixed up and your mind is going a mile a minute.
> You take her home
You tell her you want her to meet your Mom. You still got her on your mind. You have to show her that what she wants can't occur! And by bringing Jessica home, you'll be able to show that. Of course you're really nervous about what's going to happen. You barely manage to keep yourself from throwing up again.

Jessica meanwhile is a little puzzled by your choice of "date" but agrees. You get home and you and Jessica talk for a little while longer getting to know each other better, but still in the back of your head you worry about Mom.

Then she arrives. And she looks really surprised to see you with a girl in the house. Speechless in fact.
> You introduce Jessica
You muster up all your inner strength and introduce Jessica to Mom.

Mom is surprisingly cordial. You don't get it, you thought she'd be mad. Maybe she realized that what she wanted to pursue with you was wrong, and is glad you found someone to be with in a healthy relationship. Your nervousness decreases almost completely. Your Mom leaves you and Jessica alone, your previous niceness to her has put her in a good enough mood to let you have some fun, especially since you don't cause much trouble.

Eventually you take Jessica home, and despite having a rather strange first date, she agrees to see you tomorrow and you promise to really take her somewhere.

You go home thinking about today's events. You still have a great deal of devotion to your Mom, but are glad it wasn't taken to THAT level. You wonder though, Jessica looks a lot like your Mom when she was younger. Is that why you were attracted to her?

You don't want to dwell on that too much! You go to bed.

Another day arrives and you feel slightly warped...


You tell her you want her to meet your Mom. You still got her on your mind. You have to show her that what she wants can't occur! And by bringing Jessica home, you'll be able to show that. Of course you're really nervous about what's going to happen. You barely manage to keep yourself from throwing up again.

Jessica meanwhile is a little puzzled by your choice of "date" but agrees. You get home and you and Jessica talk for a little while longer getting to know each other better, but still in the back of your head you worry about Mom.

Then she arrives. And she looks really surprised to see you with a girl in the house. Speechless in fact.
> You beg for Mom's forgiveness
You suddenly lose it. You beg for Mom's forgiveness. Your devotion to your Mom is too great and if she wants you as a lover as well then you'll comply.

You say all this while groveling at her feet weeping. Jessica AND your Mom look at each other and then slowly back away from you.

You look up, and see Jessica run past your Mom and out the door saying "Ewwwwww! I KNEW you were creepy!"

Your Mom tells you to stay away from her. You comply but you don't understand why. You thought she had those feelings for you. She asks where the hell did you get a sick fucking idea like that. You mention the kiss.

"It was a peck on the lips! Nothing more!" Your Mom shouts. You suddenly feel very very small. You curl up in a ball not knowing what to think anymore.
Your Mom sees that you need many years of professional help and eventually has you put away in an institution where drugs work wonders on your screwed up thought process. No more emotions. Back to normal.

Another day in your cell and you feel nothing...


You kind of don't want to think about your Mom kissing you the way she did. It makes you uncomfortable. You take the opportunity to help Jessica to take your mind off of things.

As you help Jessica, she thanks you and becomes more friendly. She says she's always wondered about you, since you're very different than your sister who she's friends with. You open up a bit more than you normally would probably because you're still trying to get your mind off of Mom.

Its probably what makes you blurt out asking Jessica for a date after school. Jessica's a little surprised, but accepts.

When the class ends you realize you've just recieved a date with the one girl who seemed to stir some emotions in you. You begin to shake and rush to the bathroom to throw up. This is all a lot to take in. Your Mom kissed you on the lips and now you have a date with the girl of your dreams for all intense and purposes. You don't feel very hungry so you spend your lunch hour working on something for another class.

You attend the rest of your classes and eventually school comes to an end, and Jessica meets you outside.

Your emotions are all mixed up and your mind is going a mile a minute.
> You go to the movies
You want to avoid Mom for as long as possible! You take Jessica to the movies.

You and Jessica get some food and sit to watch the film. You can't seem to relax. You're still anxious and nervous about going home. You begin not to feel well again. Just as Jessica asks you what's wrong, you puke up popcorn and gummy bears all over her.

"EWWWWWWWW!" she screams and runs out of the theatre.

Not really knowing what to do next you head home, still worrying over what Mom is going to do. When you get home, Mom sees you and starts screaming. She asks where the hell you've been. You say the movies, to which she screams at you some more for saying you never told her you were going there and you need to check in with her first. You'll be getting kicked out of the house like your sister, if you feel the need to disobey the rules she continues to say.

This seems like the Mom you know and are comfortable with! You guess you were mistaken about Mom's feelings towards you and that relieves you. You don't feel as nervous now, it reverts back into that familar numb feeling again. You decide that acting out of your normal routine was a great risk that nearly drove you over the edge. You won't be doing that again.

Another day arrives and once again you feel nothing...


Your Mom again looks surprised, but also a little happy.

"Well okay, its on my way to work. Are you sure you want me too though? Won't it embarass you in front of your friends?"

Mom sure doesn't know you very well at all. You don't really have any. Of course even if you did, you wouldn't care.

Your Mom drives you to school just like you remember she used to when you were little. She always seemed a lot happier back then. She almost looks that happy again right now.

As she drops you off, she lets you out, but before she does, she kisses you goodbye...on the lips.

As she drives off, you're left feeling a little strange. You've never been very emotional, but something in you has changed. You head to your classes a little preoccupied, until Jessica comes up to you in computer class.

"Hey, can you help me with this?" she asks.
> You ignore Jessica
You barely acknowledge Jessica's presence. She's one of your sister's friends anyway, which makes you even less inclined to help her. You say something about being really busy and having a lot to do on your own computer right now. As Jessica leaves, you continue to think about Mom, and that kiss.

Lunch time comes around and you sit to ponder it even more, fortunately without your idiot "friend" Aaron buzzing in your ear. You hear your sister's boyfriend Butch bragging at the next table about some chick he slept with last night, that apparently wasn't your sister. This is why your sister SHOULD listen to Mom! She knows what's best, and knows how to protect you from bad people.

Lunch ends and you attend the rest of your classes without incident. Finally after school lets out, you run into your sister. She sees you, but refuses to talk to you.
> You go talk to your sister
Even though you know your sister doesn't like Mom, she's still family, and needs to realize that Mom's only looking out for her. You have to convince her.

You go up to your sister who doesn't want anything to do with you after this morning, but you tell her what Butch was bragging about. She doesn't care and while she claims she doesn't believe you, you can tell she does, but her dislike for you and Mom is greater than Butch's infidelity. You start to get angry and start to yell at her saying that she doesn't know what's good for her, you attempt to get physical, but Butch stops you as he's coming out of the school.

This results in you picking up a nearby rock, and smacking him in the head with it a couple times knocking him to the ground, your sister runs off and you go chasing after her in an attempt to show her the "light".

You finally catch her in the park, where you give her an ultimatium of either obey Mom's rules or die. Your sister can't believe how over the edge you've gone until you start choking her. So enthusiastic you are to display your loyalty to Mom by "punishing" your sister, you don't even hear a passing police officer say "GET YOUR HANDS OF THE GIRL OR I'LL SHOOT!"
The officer was enthusiastic too.

You feel three bullets hit you in the body, one more in the head and then you feel nothing...


You barely acknowledge Jessica's presence. She's one of your sister's friends anyway, which makes you even less inclined to help her. You say something about being really busy and having a lot to do on your own computer right now. As Jessica leaves, you continue to think about Mom, and that kiss.

Lunch time comes around and you sit to ponder it even more, fortunately without your idiot "friend" Aaron buzzing in your ear. You hear your sister's boyfriend Butch bragging at the next table about some chick he slept with last night, that apparently wasn't your sister. This is why your sister SHOULD listen to Mom! She knows what's best, and knows how to protect you from bad people.

Lunch ends and you attend the rest of your classes without incident. Finally after school lets out, you run into your sister. She sees you, but refuses to talk to you.
> You ignore her and go home
Your sister is hopeless. You feel anger towards your sister, you can see that she doesn't appreciate all the sacrifices Mom makes for her. You hope she does move out, that'll leave you and Mom more time to spend together.

You head home and wait for Mom to arrive. When she steps in, you hug her as she comes in the door, she hugs you back.

She tells you to do some chores, but you don't mind, in fact you're happy to do them. You and Mom talk a little more than you normally do at dinner, now that your sister is out of the way and not around to cause trouble everything is good, and you feel wanted for the first time in your life.

You talk into the night with her, until she tells you its time to go to bed.
> You go to bed
You do what Mom says and go to bed. You wonder if you should've pursued another path, with her, but you quickly dismiss such thoughts. You realize that if Mom wanted anything else from you, she would've told you. For now, she wants you to be a good and obedient son, just like you've always been. No strange thoughts, just total subservience to her. Submission of your will to her, emotions just make things more complicated. You make it a promise to yourself to do just that.

Another day breaks, and once again you feel nothing...


Your sister is hopeless. You feel anger towards your sister, you can see that she doesn't appreciate all the sacrifices Mom makes for her. You hope she does move out, that'll leave you and Mom more time to spend together.

You head home and wait for Mom to arrive. When she steps in, you hug her as she comes in the door, she hugs you back.

She tells you to do some chores, but you don't mind, in fact you're happy to do them. You and Mom talk a little more than you normally do at dinner, now that your sister is out of the way and not around to cause trouble everything is good, and you feel wanted for the first time in your life.

You talk into the night with her, until she tells you its time to go to bed.
> You insist on talking more
You want to stay up all night talking with your Mom, you've never felt closer to her than you ever have in your entire life. Underneath her cold exterior, you can see a gentle and caring woman. She's just lonely...

Your Mom says she has to go to work tomorrow and has to go to bed herself. She says you can stay up though if you want, but not to bitch about it when she wakes you up tomorrow.

She leaves, and you feel a little confused, you're not sure how to proceed.
> You watch TV
You sit and watch TV dejectedly and wonder about what just happened.

Could it be that you imagined things? Let it run wild? You suddenly realize what has been occurring in your mind. And it isn't right. You realize you've been thinking VERY sick thoughts about your mother. You couldn't help it though, she seemed so nice to you today...

But no! You have to supress these feelings! Its the only way. you struggle all night with your derranged mind until you fall asleep with the TV still on.

The next day you awake, something's different...it worked.

You feel nothing...


You want to stay up all night talking with your Mom, you've never felt closer to her than you ever have in your entire life. Underneath her cold exterior, you can see a gentle and caring woman. She's just lonely...

Your Mom says she has to go to work tomorrow and has to go to bed herself. She says you can stay up though if you want, but not to bitch about it when she wakes you up tomorrow.

She leaves, and you feel a little confused, you're not sure how to proceed.
> You follow her
You realize that she wants YOU to take the initiative! She already showed she was interested. She called you a good son, she kissed you, and now she's hinted about going to bed. It doesn't get anymore obvious to you.

She loves you the same way you love her...

You enter her room and see her sleeping. You slide into bed next to her. You feel like when you used to crawl into her bed when you were scared of the dark as a little kid. And much like then, you feel so safe being this close to her. She doesn't seem to mind, she cuddles up next to you, but she's still asleep.
> You go to sleep
You just want to be next to her. Nothing wrong with that. As you drift off to sleep, your Mom begins grinding even closer on to you. There's no doubt that she doesn't know who you are now...

Somehow it doesn't matter. She wakes you up with a kiss. Her loneliness for physical pleasure is too great and her love for you is too strong. This feels so right to you. You realize why the girls at school never "did it" for you, it was always Mom you lusted for, you've always known, and now its all coming true. She begins to mount you and guides your hands all over her body. She is your teacher, she is your master, she is your life.

You and Mom spend a night of hot taboo passion as your virgin seed enters the very womb that bore you. You fall asleep nestled in her protective bosom, just like when you were a baby.

The next day you feel much different. You FEEL. You're not repressed anymore. Your love for your Mom, is now finally out and she knows about it and feels the same way. Of course this will have to be your little secret, but right now all that's important is:

Its another day and you feel love...


You realize that she wants YOU to take the initiative! She already showed she was interested. She called you a good son, she kissed you, and now she's hinted about going to bed. It doesn't get anymore obvious to you.

She loves you the same way you love her...

You enter her room and see her sleeping. You slide into bed next to her. You feel like when you used to crawl into her bed when you were scared of the dark as a little kid. And much like then, you feel so safe being this close to her. She doesn't seem to mind, she cuddles up next to you, but she's still asleep.
> You take it one step further
You begin to caress and kiss her beautiful body. Your Mom begins to stir a little and opens her eyes...

And is horrified!

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!? I'M YOUR MOTHER YOU SICK FUCK!!!!"

Your mother throws you off of her and begins to beat you mercilessly!

You don't understand, you thought she loved you. You thought you understood...but it was all just a fantasy that YOU made up in your twisted mind. Your mother never hinted that she had any interest in you in that way! Even her kiss was just a peck on the lips. Nothing more, but you turned it into something else, along with everything else she did.

You feel betrayed, you did everything she ever said, only to find out she doesn't love you afterall. You feel rage like you've never felt before, you attack!

Your Mom isn't like you though, she's strong with a fighting personality. She isn't a push over like you are. She throws a table lamp at your head as you attempt to assault her. As it smashes into your skull, you fall crashing to the ground unconscious.

When you wake up, you're in a holding cell. A decision is still being made if you should be going to jail or a mental institution.
Its ultimately decided that you belong in a mental institution. You're doped up silly for the rest of your life.

Once again, you feel nothing...


You head downstairs, like you always do. No point in breaking tradition.

When you get downstairs your Mom is arguing with your 17 year old sister as usual. She isn't like you at all, she's popular for one thing, but then again being a very pretty and extroverted will do that for a person.

She's a bit of a wild child though which your domineering mother can't stand. You wonder why your sister acts the way she does, Mom's just trying to look out for her.

They're really arguing today.
> You side with sis
You know, you've really had it with Mom picking on your sister all the time. Sure she's a little wild, but she isn't a slut and doesn't deserve to be called one, you tell Mom as much.
Your sister and especially your Mom are both VERY surprised! Your Mom gets even angrier and slaps you!

"So both of you ungrateful shits turn against me! Get the fuck out of my house right now! NOW! And don't fucking return if you aren't going to live by my rules!" She yells and storms out of the kitchen.

You and your sister leave, but as you both head off to school, she thanks you for taking her side.

"Thanks, its nice to have an ally for once against that fucking harpy!"

You feel a little pleased. Its nice to be appreciated for once.

When you get to school, you see Henry the school bully kicking the hell out of your "friend" Aaron. You don't really care for Aaron, but he looks at you in the hopes you'll help him.
> You help Aaron
You step up to Henry.
"What the fuck do you want faggot?" he demands.

You don't even answer, you just punch Henry. Henry punches you back! Any other time you might run away, but this is different! Somehow when you stood up to Mom today, you feel a lot more confident! You and Henry begin to wrestle in the hallway, until a teacher breaks you up. Normally you'd get sent to the principal's office, but the teacher just yells at you instead. Aaron thanks you profusely and states how he'll do all your homework for you.

Your sense of accomplishment grows. You like being praised for your deeds.

When you get to your computer class, you notice that your sister's friend Jessica, is having problems with today's lesson.
> You help Jessica
You go up to Jessica and explain what she's doing wrong and how she NEEDS to be doing it. You proceed to take completely over.

While Jessica wouldn't have minded your help, she doesn't particularly care for how you approached her. She didn't ASK you for your help and your arrogant manner has turned her off. And the fact you told her that she may "thank you now" made things even worse.

You've lost your shot at her, but that doesn't seem to bother you, the fact that she didn't praise the ground you walk on for your help, bothers you more. Some people are just ungrateful you guess.

Lunchtime comes around and Aaron begins thanking you again, for helping him. You enjoy his praise until you tire of him and tell him to shut up and get you another can of Coke, which he complies.

At this point you overhear your sister's boyfriend Butch brag to all his friends about some girl he slept with last night. A girl that wasn't your sister.

You wonder if you should confront him, but you don't see how this could be readily advantageous to you.
> You confront Butch
Your sister has been getting fucked around by this guy for too long. He constantly cheats on her and she always takes him back. Well it stops today, because YOU know what's best for her.

You immediately confront Butch, he turns around wondering what you want, and you tell him to stay away from your sister. He laughs in your face and tells you to fuck off. This once again prompts you to resort to violence.

You punch Butch in the face, but the guy's a jock, he can easily withstand anything you can dish out. Not to mention he's got six of his buddies to help him.

They beat the hell out of you and throw you in the Cafeteria garbage can, and take off laughing before an authority figure catches them.
You get sent to the principal's office for getting into your second fight today!

After getting suspended for the next three days, you run into your sister outside of school who walks up to you pissed as hell.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing picking a fight with Butch?!"

You attempt to explain, but she's not listening.

"He stopped doing that! He loves me! You're just trying to control my life! I heard about how you acted towards Jessica today. You're trying to dominate everything just like Mom!"

At this point you get enraged with her, for not showing you the gratitude that you deserve! You tried to help her out and this is how she repays you?
You slap the shit out of her! She holds her face, hits you back and runs off crying, stating how she's moving out of the house.

Good, you think, if she doesn't know what's good for her, she can get the fuck out.

You head back home and do what the hell you want, until that bitch you call Mom comes home. She immediately starts her shit.

"Don't think I haven't forgot about that shit you pulled this morning!" she begins saying.
> You argue back with her
Mom's reign of domination ends fucking today. YOU'RE the fucking man of the house and she needs to recognize that NOW.

You call her every name in the book, as she returns in kind. She begins slapping you, threatening to kick you out of the house again. You push her down, and overpower her. All your repressed anger is directed towards her. And the shit you've ever had to put up with from her and everyone else is ALL directed at her.

SHE NEVER APPRECIATED ANYTHING YOU EVER FUCKING DID!

You snap her neck, thus proving you're the dominant one here.

You feel a great emotional release, but then it disappears. Strange, killing her has completely deadened your emotions again.

You decide to go to bed.

You awaken to police taking you away. Your sister ended up coming home in the middle of the night to pick up some things, and she found Mom still laying on the floor where you left her.

Another day in your cell, and once again you feel nothing...


Your sister has been getting fucked around by this guy for too long. He constantly cheats on her and she always takes him back. Well it stops today, because YOU know what's best for her.

You immediately confront Butch, he turns around wondering what you want, and you tell him to stay away from your sister. He laughs in your face and tells you to fuck off. This once again prompts you to resort to violence.

You punch Butch in the face, but the guy's a jock, he can easily withstand anything you can dish out. Not to mention he's got six of his buddies to help him.

They beat the hell out of you and throw you in the Cafeteria garbage can, and take off laughing before an authority figure catches them.
You get sent to the principal's office for getting into your second fight today!

After getting suspended for the next three days, you run into your sister outside of school who walks up to you pissed as hell.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing picking a fight with Butch?!"

You attempt to explain, but she's not listening.

"He stopped doing that! He loves me! You're just trying to control my life! I heard about how you acted towards Jessica today. You're trying to dominate everything just like Mom!"

At this point you get enraged with her, for not showing you the gratitude that you deserve! You tried to help her out and this is how she repays you?
You slap the shit out of her! She holds her face, hits you back and runs off crying, stating how she's moving out of the house.

Good, you think, if she doesn't know what's good for her, she can get the fuck out.

You head back home and do what the hell you want, until that bitch you call Mom comes home. She immediately starts her shit.

"Don't think I haven't forgot about that shit you pulled this morning!" she begins saying.
> You simmer and just take it
You say a few things back, but nothing too bad, you HAVE to live here and are too fearful of getting kicked out. Your Mom reads you the riot act and uses vulgar language that would shame a sailor. She verbally emasculates you to a degree that assures she's still in control of this house. All the feelings you had before fade. As quickly as gained your sense of "rebellion" your Mom has crushed it within a blink of an eye.

You go upstairs to bed, your spirit utterly crushed.

Another day arrives, and once again you feel nothing...


You go up to Jessica and explain what she's doing wrong and how she NEEDS to be doing it. You proceed to take completely over.

While Jessica wouldn't have minded your help, she doesn't particularly care for how you approached her. She didn't ASK you for your help and your arrogant manner has turned her off. And the fact you told her that she may "thank you now" made things even worse.

You've lost your shot at her, but that doesn't seem to bother you, the fact that she didn't praise the ground you walk on for your help, bothers you more. Some people are just ungrateful you guess.

Lunchtime comes around and Aaron begins thanking you again, for helping him. You enjoy his praise until you tire of him and tell him to shut up and get you another can of Coke, which he complies.

At this point you overhear your sister's boyfriend Butch brag to all his friends about some girl he slept with last night. A girl that wasn't your sister.

You wonder if you should confront him, but you don't see how this could be readily advantageous to you.
> You keep quiet
No advantange in getting your ass kicked by Butch and six of his friends. No you know what to do. You attend all your classes as usual and wait until after school where you rat on Butch to your sister. She's really upset and confronts him about it. As they start to argue, you see Aaron and tell him that if Butch gets rough with your sister, he should step in and help, since she'll find that attractive and might go out with him.

Poor Aaron already blindly loyal to you, readily believes your lies and sure enough as soon as Butch grabs your sister, Aaron attempts to defend her and gets the shit beaten out of him very badly. Your sister see first hand the brutality of Butch and screams for someone to help, where upon one of the teachers from the school removes Butch and has someone call the paramedics for Aaron.

Butch will soon be paying legally for what he did to Aaron. For now though your sister is a bit distraught over all this, she's going to go home, despite the fact she'll have to face Mom.
> You go home
You decide its time to take control of the household. After all you're the fucking man of the house, and that bitch Mom of yours better realize that, besides the shift in power is in your favor with your sister on your firmly on your side now.

Your prepare your sister for the coming confrontation with Mom, she looks less than excited to do it, but you helped her a lot today and agrees it needs to be done.

When Mom comes home you immediately go on the offensive, totally catching her off guard. You do most of the fighting, your sister only piping up when you ask her to, you unleash a litany of cruel truths to your Mom. You mention how she's a lonely dried up over the hill woman who needs someone in her life because she's an unhappy person. So if she knows what's good for her she'll start treating you both with more respect. And that's just one of the things you say. Not that she isn't totally without ammo, but you feel actually energized by the battle. Like you're getting off on the conflict. Eventually you wear her down and she half-heartly gives in.

You know that your Mom is never going to be docile, but you've effectively changed the balance of power. You go to bed totally pleased by your victory. Your confidence transformed into arrogance and finally into outright manipulative nastiness.

Another day arrives and you feel like Mom...


No advantange in getting your ass kicked by Butch and six of his friends. No you know what to do. You attend all your classes as usual and wait until after school where you rat on Butch to your sister. She's really upset and confronts him about it. As they start to argue, you see Aaron and tell him that if Butch gets rough with your sister, he should step in and help, since she'll find that attractive and might go out with him.

Poor Aaron already blindly loyal to you, readily believes your lies and sure enough as soon as Butch grabs your sister, Aaron attempts to defend her and gets the shit beaten out of him very badly. Your sister see first hand the brutality of Butch and screams for someone to help, where upon one of the teachers from the school removes Butch and has someone call the paramedics for Aaron.

Butch will soon be paying legally for what he did to Aaron. For now though your sister is a bit distraught over all this, she's going to go home, despite the fact she'll have to face Mom.
> You stay out
Heh heh, let sis handle Mom, you're going to do something you've never done. Party all night!

You end up going to a club and even though you haven't really had any previous experience with these places or any other major social gathering you seem to fit in very well. It amazing how far your new outlook on life has taken you within a short period of time.

You realize that following all those rules was idiotic. You're going to have fun and anyone who tries to stop you is going to pay the price. Nobody is more important than you.

Your home life changes quite a bit. Now its Mom yelling at you constantly rather than your sister, who seems to have calmed down quite a bit. Strange how things balance out.

Another day arrives and you feel rebellious...


You step up to Henry.
"What the fuck do you want faggot?" he demands.

You don't even answer, you just punch Henry. Henry punches you back! Any other time you might run away, but this is different! Somehow when you stood up to Mom today, you feel a lot more confident! You and Henry begin to wrestle in the hallway, until a teacher breaks you up. Normally you'd get sent to the principal's office, but the teacher just yells at you instead. Aaron thanks you profusely and states how he'll do all your homework for you.

Your sense of accomplishment grows. You like being praised for your deeds.

When you get to your computer class, you notice that your sister's friend Jessica, is having problems with today's lesson.
> You ignore her
Jessica didn't ask for your help, and you don't want to make an annoyance of yourself, so you go to your seat and quietly do your work.

Soon, Jessica comes up to you and asks you for your help, since she knows you're good with computers. You're glad to lend her a hand. You've always liked her to some degree even if you never showed it. Now you have the perfect opportunity to do so.

As you explain things to her you get the feeling she no longer thinks of you as your sister's "creepy" brother anymore. She really welcomes your help.

Class ends and your confidence increases. You think you might even ask Jessica out tomorrow!

Lunchtime comes around and Aaron sits next to you as he normally does. He continues to thank you for what you did earlier. He says you've inspired him a bit.

Meanwhile you happen to over hear your sister's boyfriend Butch, who's bragging about his sexual exploits to his friends.

"Yeah I fucked that bitch straight in the fucking ass last night! Haw Haw!"

You're about to get up to defend your sister's honor, but suddenly you realize he's talking about a completely different girl. It appears Butch has been cheating on your sister again.
> You confront Butch
Butch has been treating your sister like this for too long. Its time to stand up to him, since she won't do it.

You immediately pull him aside and tell him to stay away from your sister.
He laughs in your face and pushes you to the ground. Then his six friends stand up...

However your recent actions of defending Aaron cause him to try to help you out, by kicking Butch in the shin. Butch winces in pain, but immediately turns his attention to Aaron. He and his friends ignore you and beat the shit out of him. Seriously injuring him.

The following events occur due to your hubris...

Aaron has to be hospitalized and never fully recovers from suffering minor brain damage.

Butch and his friends are charged, but ultimately nothing comes of it, since most of their parents are rich and Aaron's weren't. Charges are dropped. They're all expelled and school is sued however.

You are also expelled since its determined that you started the fight in the first place, not to mention you your previous actions of fighting with Henry earlier that day, displays that you're a trouble maker.

You sister blames you for Butch dumping her permanently, despite the fact you were actually trying to help her.

Finally Mom gets SUPER pissed off at you for causing all this shit, causing her to miss lots of work. She sets you straight by breaking your will once more which is rather easy since you blame yourself for all of what happened. If you hadn't indulged you emotions this all would've never came about. You make sure it won't happen again.

Another day arrives and once again you feel nothing...


Jessica didn't ask for your help, and you don't want to make an annoyance of yourself, so you go to your seat and quietly do your work.

Soon, Jessica comes up to you and asks you for your help, since she knows you're good with computers. You're glad to lend her a hand. You've always liked her to some degree even if you never showed it. Now you have the perfect opportunity to do so.

As you explain things to her you get the feeling she no longer thinks of you as your sister's "creepy" brother anymore. She really welcomes your help.

Class ends and your confidence increases. You think you might even ask Jessica out tomorrow!

Lunchtime comes around and Aaron sits next to you as he normally does. He continues to thank you for what you did earlier. He says you've inspired him a bit.

Meanwhile you happen to over hear your sister's boyfriend Butch, who's bragging about his sexual exploits to his friends.

"Yeah I fucked that bitch straight in the fucking ass last night! Haw Haw!"

You're about to get up to defend your sister's honor, but suddenly you realize he's talking about a completely different girl. It appears Butch has been cheating on your sister again.
> You keep quiet
Maybe you've gained a little more confidence in yourself, but you're not an idiot. You can see Butch has six of his friends there. They're all bigger and stronger than you, being on the football team and all.

You aren't going to let this go though. Lunch ends and you head to the rest of your classes as normal. After school you run into your sister, who looks happy to see you, until you mention what you heard Butch say.

She get mad, but not at you. She sees Butch coming out of the school and immediately confronts him and starts yelling at him. He starts yelling back.
> You stick around
You aren't just going to leave, you stick around just in case Butch gets violent. Good thing you did, his temper gets worse and he raises his hand to your sister, which you immediately stop. He turns and can't believe you would dare confront him.

"Huh! You think just because you kicked Henry's ass today, you think you're fucking tough shit? I'm gonna fucking kick your nuts up through your fucking throat! An there ain't no teachers around to break this up!"

Butch swings at you and you dodge. You land some hits, but he's very strong. You feel a great crushing force to your stomach as he slams his fist into it. You fall trying to catch your breath, almost expecting him to finish you off, but Aaron comes out of no where and kicks him in the back of the head! Your earlier actions of defending Aaron have caused him to return the favor. He has distracted Butch long enough for you to punch him in the nuts as hard as you can three times.

Butch falls and is in no condition to do anything. Your sister then proceeds to tell him its over for good this time and kicks him a couple times as well.

Well you've accomplished a lot today at school. You've become a real defender, all your previously repressed energy has been channeled positively. However, home still awaits you and you know who awaits you there.
> You go home
No point in avoiding it. You have to go home eventually. Your sister isn't staying out tonight, since she's just broken up with Butch. You take this opportunity to convince her that you should put up a united front against Mom. She agrees completely and says its about time Mom's tyranny came to an end.

You both get home, and psychologically prepare yourself for the battle with Mom, and then she enters the door...

The battle is joined! Mom starts in on both of you right away! Its a very intense and long arguement, but you have the confidence to finally stand up to her and you also have your sister to back you up. As much as Mom continues to threaten to throw you both out of the house, you can tell she's bluffing. She doesn't REALLY want either of you to leave her. If you guys weren't there, she'd have nobody around and then she'd truely be alone.

The arguement lasts into the night, but it finally ends, with you as the victor. Mom eventually half-heartedly gives in, but not before telling the both of you, what ungrateful brats you are.

You go to bed that night, with a complete and total feeling of liberation. You have confidence that you've never had before and you can FEEL. By god, you can finally feel!

Another day breaks, and you feel absolute joy.