Ah the basement. The refuge of all who refuse to move out of the house for whatever reason.

Some of them are dreamers who just can’t fit into proper society.

Some of them have potential, but due to personality quirks fame has escaped them.

And finally 99% of them are just downright pathetic losers that just fail at life.

So choose one of these basement dwellers and enjoy the desperation and horror of their tales! You may come to find that they are just like you. In fact chances are, you’ll think someone wrote a biography about you!
> The Anime Addict (And this one's for TEH LULZ!)
Look at you. You’re pathetic.

You’re over 18 and still living at home.

You have no job, no skills, and absolutely no future prospects!

But why bother pointing all this out? You know all of this already, but still choose to leech off of Mom’s hard earned money.

You’re a basement dweller.

Worse, you’re an Anime loving basement dweller. Sure you could drop lower, but you’re already just below the tapeworm as far as social scale is concerned. Even Trekkies rank higher.

Right now you’ve just received every anime DVD that you could buy with your mom’s stolen credit card. She’ll probably bitch at you later, but you figure you’ve got at least a week before she sobers up enough to find out. Until then, it’s anime time! Tonight is the night that you start your journey to give yourself totally to anime. If you do, you will be forever chained to it…

However, that doesn’t have to be your fate! There IS still hope for you! Somewhere within you there does exist something human. You COULD resist the anime! Do something else! Anything else!

Think about it. Is what is on those DVDs really going to be any different from what you’ve seen already? Seriously it’s all the same anyway. Bunch of wide eyed pre-pubescent girls dressed in the latest pedowear while sucking on lollipops and effeminate fags who emo whine about how they’re only half human and finding out that their true love is actually their long lost sibling.

I mean as much as we all like watching a bisexual half demon commit anal rape on his 12 year old sister every once in awhile, there comes a time where you just gotta say: “What the fuck am I doing? Half of this shit is inane and stupidly childish, and the other half is really fucked up and twisted. And some of it manages to combine the two halves. Two nukes really weren’t enough for that country. I’m going to do something better with my life.”

So is today that day you sad little freak?
> You no! You love being a basement dwelling anime fan!
Jesus fucking Christ, if you’re not even going to try to improve your position then what’s the goddamn point? Don’t you have even the slightest incentive to improve your miserable existence?
> You said no! Why can't you accept you for who you are\?
No?

Alright then.

I’ll save you the play by play details of your complete descent into degeneracy, but basically you move on past normal anime and you watch/sleep/eat/ and shit Hentai (Not necessarily in that order) for the next few months. You jerk off so much that your mom doesn’t even bother washing your sheets anymore. In fact she doesn’t even enter the basement if she can help it now.

You continue on this way for quite some time, discussing the intricacies of shitting dick nipple girls and tentacle rape with likeminded cohorts on the internet.

However the fact still remains, you’re still a virgin and surprisingly somewhere within your sub humanoid body remains the yearning for a real live person. Who knew?

Unfortunately you’ve gotten to the point where any chance of getting a real woman are impossible, not to mention that you’ve conditioned yourself to a point where you wouldn’t be able to even get it up for a “normal” woman anyway. Hell, it’s debatable that you even still like females at this point.

While thanks to those wacky Japanese you’ve developed several fetishes, you have to admit that you’ve started to favor one over the rest.

So just what kind of pervert have you become?
> You gimme a fursuit with a big ol' stupid fox head because you're proud to be a FUR FAG!
Being the pussy you are, this choice isn’t really surprising, though this is probably safest out of some of the shit you could’ve gotten addicted to. Of course this pretty much means you’ve given up on the last vestiges of your heterosexuality, but having gay sex is probably the only way you’re going to get any at this point.

However regular homo love just ain’t gonna cut it for you. The moment you decided to prance around in a fur suit and jerk off to the shapely ass of a rabbit you embraced the life style of fur faggotry and all the abuse that comes with it.

Your status has just dropped even lower and even other basement dwellers you talk to online now think you’re lame. You don’t care though, because you find a site where your kind can freely talk to each other without the fear of being called a furfag. (Well okay the site gets trolled every other week, but it’s still the best a fur fag like you can hope for)

Eventually you chat up some faggot that likes dressing up as a fucking cat. (His name is Tom) It’s not a rabbit, but he actually lives in your state so he’ll do! Fortunately this guy seems to have a little more money than you, so he offers to meet you at some hotel and pay for everything.

The day you leave to meet Tom, your mom just shakes her head regretting the day she was too drunk to fight off your dad’s date raping that resulted in your conception that night.

When you get to the hotel that’s when you meet Tom in all his furry glory. The two of you don’t spend too much time talking; after all you two have been doing all the getting to know you stuff online. Now you’re both just interested in hot furry love.

The pair of you furfags yiff it up and take turns sucking each others dicks and taking it up the ass. Your fursuits are taking a beating with all the cum, spit, blood and shit leaking out of various orifices, but after all is said and done the pair of you are happy. (If sore and chaffed)

You and Tom fall asleep in each others arms dreaming of a furry world…

The next morning you are both rudely and violently awakened.

“GET UP FURFAGS! YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!” a man in jet black riot gear yells.
“Phew! It smells like shit and wet dog in this motherfucker!” another remarks.
“Wha…” is all you can say before you’re pulled out of the bed and dragged by your tail out of the hotel and thrown into a van. You see Tom try to fight back, but he’s severely beaten and then two shots placed in his head.

You cry out and try to leave the van when you see this, but a rifle butt to your face prevents that plan. The door is then slammed shut. After shaken off the cobwebs you notice other furries in the van with you. That’s when you swallow hard (Even more than last night) and realize what’s going on and it’s the day that all furries have feared would come.

THE FINAL FURSECUTION IS AT HAND!

Yes furfag, the world has finally had enough, and day of righteous cleansing has come! All of you degenerates are globally rounded up and placed into camps!

The executions go on through the night as furry bodies fall into mass trenches and the skies are gloriously filled with the black smoke of your burning fur and flesh.

Minutes before your own death you scream out wondering why nobody is stopping this, after all they stopped this for the Jews and everyone hates them!

Well you’re forgetting one thing; Jews are actually useful, like being comedians and killing Arabs. Furries on the other hand are a pathetic waste of a zygote and serve no purpose other than to be fucking hanged.

“We will be remembered! You can’t erase history!” you shout.
“Hah, we already are. Soon nobody will ever know about you fuckers ever again and the world will be thankful of that! Got any last words?”

You resign yourself to your fate, but still remain defiant in your last moments.

“I’m proud to be a Furry!” you exclaim before getting your brains splattered all over the place.

“Yiff in fucking Hell Furfag.”


No?

Alright then.

I’ll save you the play by play details of your complete descent into degeneracy, but basically you move on past normal anime and you watch/sleep/eat/ and shit Hentai (Not necessarily in that order) for the next few months. You jerk off so much that your mom doesn’t even bother washing your sheets anymore. In fact she doesn’t even enter the basement if she can help it now.

You continue on this way for quite some time, discussing the intricacies of shitting dick nipple girls and tentacle rape with likeminded cohorts on the internet.

However the fact still remains, you’re still a virgin and surprisingly somewhere within your sub humanoid body remains the yearning for a real live person. Who knew?

Unfortunately you’ve gotten to the point where any chance of getting a real woman are impossible, not to mention that you’ve conditioned yourself to a point where you wouldn’t be able to even get it up for a “normal” woman anyway. Hell, it’s debatable that you even still like females at this point.

While thanks to those wacky Japanese you’ve developed several fetishes, you have to admit that you’ve started to favor one over the rest.

So just what kind of pervert have you become?
> You lock up your daughters and hell maybe even your sons too because you're gonna RAPE you some childrens!
Children? Christ, you sick fuck.

(Sigh) Awwwright then, baby raper…

Of course being a pervert and having courage rarely go hand in hand, you’re still too afraid to actually leave the goddamn basement. And despite your sick fetish, deep down inside you have a loathing for yourself. So you try to contain yourself for a little while longer with just pictures. A process that is doomed to failure.

After jerking it countless times to Lolicon and MySpace you finally cross that barrier and start looking for real child porn. Eventually you get a hold of a lot of it, but it still isn’t enough. You NEED to actually get your pedo hands on a little girl.

Back in the old days you would’ve actually had to leave the house and stalk the school yards for suitable prey, but thanks to the internet and bad parenting you can find lots of young girls with daddy issues that are practically begging to be raped due to camwhoring in their underwear.

Yes, it’s certainly a golden age for pedophilia!

You stalk various sites and chatrooms looking for a live one and eventually you get lucky…

iluvhannah: so you watch cartoons? Whut kind? Liek Dizney?
Oursecret: oh all kinds, mostly anime
iluvhannah: OMG I LUV anime! I almost luv them as much as Hannah Montana! We even got the same first name! LOL! Anyway whut do u watch?
Oursecret: well I used to watch stuff like pokemon, but I moved on to better stuff. Deeper stuff that requires a more mature mind. I’d like to show you these cartoons sometime.
iluvhannah: yeah i could do that becuz i’m liek mature for my age.
Oursecret: I can see that. How old are you exactly?
iluvhannah: im 12. lol. how old r u?
Oursecret: oh im just a little bit older, but I don’t think that should prevent us from being friends right?
iluvhannah: No, bcuz I think age is just a number anyway. Wanna see my pic? lol.
Oursecret: Sure.

Hannah sends you a picture of herself and the best thing is that even though she’s 12 she only looks 10! You might have a little dick, but boy is it sure going to look big in her tiny hands! She even lives in your state! You’ve GOT to meet this girl.

You make plans to meet Hannah at her house where she says her parents won’t be since they’re going out for the weekend. She even tells you she’ll make some cookies for you. Could life get any better?

So for the first time in a long while you actually leave your basement. You take your mom’s car keys from as she’s asleep from a hard day’s work and drive over to your preteen queen’s house.

You see the silhouette of a young girl in the door way who waves over to you. You’re so hot for twelve year old trim that it never occurs to you that this could be a set up.

You enter the house…

“Hey pedo, why don’t you take a seat over there?” you hear a voice say.

OH NOES IT’S CHRIS FUCKIN’ HANSEN!

You gulp hard when you see the crusading media man in all his smug glory. He’s not as reserved as he usually is though, in fact he seems to be hold back laughter.

“But…I thought you didn’t do this anymore! I thought you moved on to con artists and identity thieves!” You exclaim.
“True. But trolling you pedos will never get old. Ever. Hell, I don’t even get paid for this anymore, I’m just doin’ it for the shits and giggles!” Chris laughs.

While this is a bizarre revelation, it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re still in a world of shit. You immediately dash for the door.

“Hey, you loli fucker, don’t you run on me! I didn’t get to ask you embarrassing questions yet!” you hear Chris yell.

Of course you don’t get a couple feet from the house when several swat officers tackle your ass to the ground and shove a gun in the back of your head. Chris comes out with his crew and motions that the camera get a close up of your face.

“YOU GOT HANSEND FOR GREAT JUSTICE, BITCH!” Chris Hansen laughs hysterically the whole time the officers arrest you.

Bitch is a term you become very familiar with while in prison. After only a few weeks your asshole makes Goatse look tighter than the 10 year old girls that you were lusting for.

Eventually some skinheads do something that your mom should’ve done when you were born, namely shank you in the fucking neck.


Jesus fucking Christ, if you’re not even going to try to improve your position then what’s the goddamn point? Don’t you have even the slightest incentive to improve your miserable existence?
> You alright, alright, get off your ass already!
After years of watching anime and being dangerously close to either becoming a pedophile or a furry, (Or possibly a furry pedophile) you finally make a worthwhile decision. You grab your new anime DVDs and break them all! You then grab all your old ones and break them too!

Manga books all fucking burned! Comics too! Video games with anime graphics destroyed! You even break your computer just so you can’t be tempted by the internet! You’ve just destroyed your “social life” by doing that, but it’s worth it!

NO MORE FUCKING ANIME!

Holy shit you feel free! Seriously this is the first day of your new life and you’ve just made a break through here.

But don’t get too puffed up there fatty. The fact still remains that you’re a basement dwelling loser. You’re also going to experience withdrawals and the temptation to go back to anime will be there.

Best thing you can do right now is confine yourself to the house for awhile. Now…I know that might seem odd given that you practically stay inside for days on end anyway, but your trips to the comic shops might provide too much temptation.

And so begins the long road to recovery…

Days pass into weeks and you got the jitters like a fucking crackhead. You spend a lot of time pacing and staring at the walls in your room. You try to find ways to keep yourself occupied.

You try to watch TV, but you have to struggle to not click on the Cartoon Network. Eventually you beg your mom to put a block on it. She’s willing to help you out in the hopes that you might actually move out of her house one day.

Reading books doesn’t seem to help either. Your attention span has practically been destroyed from “blipvert” anime action. You even can’t concentrate on the shortest story, let alone a novel.

You feel like you’re going mad.
> You stay in the house
Just then the phone rings and you answer it in frustration of needing SOMETHING else to do!

“Hello?”
“Hello? Brian? Is that you?”
“Yeah? Who is this?”
“It’s your cousin Patricia silly! Is your Mom there?”
“No, she’s at work. What did you need her for?”
“Well I remember that she was good at math and I’ve been having problems with my trig class. She said I could come by and she’d help me.”

You vaguely remember your cousin Patricia from one of your family gatherings from years ago. She was younger then, but about the only one not immediately repulsed by your incessant talk of Pokemon and YuGiOh (That was before you had moved on to the “harder” stuff.)

You probably don’t have much in common, but at this point you almost want to talk to ANYONE to keep your mind off things.

“Hey just come on over, she’ll be home soon.”
“You sure it’s okay? I mean I don’t want to bother you and all.”
“It’s no problem at all! Just come over!”
“Okay, then see you later I guess.”

Patricia hangs up and you continue to fight your anime withdrawals.

Eventually Patricia shows up on your front door.

Patricia is wearing the traditional Catholic school girl outfit. She’s slender and her breasts aren’t large, but firm looking. Her face almost looks like a doll’s. She’s even looking at you with innocent WIDE eyes. She can’t be any older than 15.

You fucking degenerate, you aren’t supposed to be looking at your underage cousin that way. It’s a good thing you’re fat; otherwise your two inch boner might be showing. Still, at least this proves that real HUMAN women can turn you on, even if they are fitting your previous jack off material.

“Wow.” Is all you can sputter.
“Hey Brian. Long time no see. So how’s it been?” Patricia asks as she walks past you. You can’t help but stare at her ass before she turns around and sits down on the couch with her books.”

This is probably the closest you’ve been to a real girl that’s talked to you in…well ever actually.

NOW STOP RIGHT THERE FAT ASS!

I KNOW what you’re fucking thinking! You’re thinking that you got this raging hard on, and it would be a shame to waste it with a young piece of jailbait ass sitting in front of you.

Well just put THAT shit out of your mind RIGHT fucking now!

Disregarding any of the incest taboos she’s also underage, and you can’t do that shit.

Even in the very unlikely event that she’d let your Jabba the Hut ass lay on top of her willingly, you still can’t do that shit.

The best you can do is excuse yourself and jack off in the basement. And that still makes you a perv, but at least you aren’t doing anything illegal.

Now then, is that what you’re going to do? Or can you actually talk with the girl and not try to hump her like a dog in heat?
> You too much over stimulation! Gotta get outta here!
Ah well, I suppose it WAS too much stimulation for you.

“Uh…excuse me Patricia I have stuff to do in the basement, you just wait up here.”
“Oh, alright then.”

You immediately run down into your basement and can’t take your pants off quick enough to jack off to her image.

The first few times you just think of the traditional missionary position and blow job images. Then you move on to fucking her in the ass. Eventually you return to your “Anime roots” and start imagining yourself growing tentacles and simultaneously fucking her in all three holes and filling them with cum and then shitting on her face through your mouth.

I suppose this sick scenario would be inventive, if you hadn’t stolen it from those Wacky Japanese.

Anyway by the time your mom has come home, helped Patricia, talked with her, sent her home and then went to bed herself, you’ve jacked off at least into the double digits. It’s actually amazing that you didn’t give your fat ass a heart attack.

You are incredibly tired though and you fall asleep in your incredibly sticky bed.

The next day, you still have images of your cousin running through your mind. This probably wouldn’t be anymore than a lingering sick fantasy, but the problem is that your cousin is coming over again. Apparently she needs more help from your Mom.

She comes over and your urges are stronger than ever. You barely manage to make it to the basement that time.

She comes over a third time and is starting to notice your increasingly odd behavior, but by then it’s too late for her. You can contain your unnatural lust any longer.

When she’s sitting on the couch waiting for your mom with her books you don’t bother going into the basement this time.

“So uh…don’t you have something to do in the basement?”
“Nah, I’d rather just sit and look…I mean talk to you…”
“Okaaaaaaay…hey look maybe I’ll just come back later…”
“No wait! I want you to stay and we can play!”
“Eeeek! What’re you doing?!”

At this point you lunge at your cousin and nearly crush the poor girl with your weight. You begin gyrating against her and trying to pull your pants down while lifting her skirt up.

“Mmmm yeah…you smell good…so fresh and innocent…I just wish you were twelve.”
“NO! Get off me you fucking fat ass pedo!” she screams and manages to smash your head in with a nearby lamp, before sliding from underneath you and screaming rape in the streets.

You’d probably go to jail and get ass raped multiple times for this, but the lamp to the head put you in a coma. Your mom is content on just taking you off of life support and letting you die, but the state insists that you must pay for your crimes and therefore must be kept alive until you come out of the coma where upon you can stand trial.

The joke’s on them though, you remain a vegetable!


Just then the phone rings and you answer it in frustration of needing SOMETHING else to do!

“Hello?”
“Hello? Brian? Is that you?”
“Yeah? Who is this?”
“It’s your cousin Patricia silly! Is your Mom there?”
“No, she’s at work. What did you need her for?”
“Well I remember that she was good at math and I’ve been having problems with my trig class. She said I could come by and she’d help me.”

You vaguely remember your cousin Patricia from one of your family gatherings from years ago. She was younger then, but about the only one not immediately repulsed by your incessant talk of Pokemon and YuGiOh (That was before you had moved on to the “harder” stuff.)

You probably don’t have much in common, but at this point you almost want to talk to ANYONE to keep your mind off things.

“Hey just come on over, she’ll be home soon.”
“You sure it’s okay? I mean I don’t want to bother you and all.”
“It’s no problem at all! Just come over!”
“Okay, then see you later I guess.”

Patricia hangs up and you continue to fight your anime withdrawals.

Eventually Patricia shows up on your front door.

Patricia is wearing the traditional Catholic school girl outfit. She’s slender and her breasts aren’t large, but firm looking. Her face almost looks like a doll’s. She’s even looking at you with innocent WIDE eyes. She can’t be any older than 15.

You fucking degenerate, you aren’t supposed to be looking at your underage cousin that way. It’s a good thing you’re fat; otherwise your two inch boner might be showing. Still, at least this proves that real HUMAN women can turn you on, even if they are fitting your previous jack off material.

“Wow.” Is all you can sputter.
“Hey Brian. Long time no see. So how’s it been?” Patricia asks as she walks past you. You can’t help but stare at her ass before she turns around and sits down on the couch with her books.”

This is probably the closest you’ve been to a real girl that’s talked to you in…well ever actually.

NOW STOP RIGHT THERE FAT ASS!

I KNOW what you’re fucking thinking! You’re thinking that you got this raging hard on, and it would be a shame to waste it with a young piece of jailbait ass sitting in front of you.

Well just put THAT shit out of your mind RIGHT fucking now!

Disregarding any of the incest taboos she’s also underage, and you can’t do that shit.

Even in the very unlikely event that she’d let your Jabba the Hut ass lay on top of her willingly, you still can’t do that shit.

The best you can do is excuse yourself and jack off in the basement. And that still makes you a perv, but at least you aren’t doing anything illegal.

Now then, is that what you’re going to do? Or can you actually talk with the girl and not try to hump her like a dog in heat?
> You can do this...I can do this...
Pretty brave of you, let’s see if it works.

You sit far away from her and answer her, while trying not to stare too hard.

“Oh, well I’m sorta doing okay I guess…”
“You seem troubled, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing really, I’m just trying to…(sigh) I’ll be honest. I’ve been severely addicted to anime for years and I’ve just now started to go cold turkey and it’s been harder than I thought.”

This confessional is about the only thing you could think of to talk about that wouldn’t cause her to call the cops on you. And that’s still a possibility. Stay the course fatty, stay the fucking course!

“Wow, that’s pretty commendable of you. I remember that you were all into that anime stuff the last time we had a family gathering. Even though I was young even I thought you were a bit obsessed with it.”
“Yeah I dunno how I’m going to make it…” you say trying to fight the urge to say anything inappropriate.
“Maybe you should try this.” Patricia says and opens up her bookbag. She throws a comic book at you. It’s one of those superhero ones. AMERICAN superheroes! Like superman and such. You’re taken off guard and forget about your unnatural feelings for a moment.

“Superman?”
“Yeah, maybe if you read some other comics it will help ease your transition. The only thing is, you could get addicted to those, so be careful.”
“Y’know, this could work. I never really was interested in these types before, so I probably won’t get too attached.”
“And unlike the anime shit, you got more of a variety meaning you’re less likely to get obsessed with one thing. I mean the characters are at least different from each other in looks and stuff.”
“This is a great idea! I just wish I had some money to go down to the comic shop and try this out!”
“Here, take these. I never bother rereading them.” Patricia says handing you a bunch of superhero comics.
“Alright! Thanks!” you say and run down to the basement.

It’s funny, but the fact that Patricia was into comics didn’t make you more aroused like it would most loser geeks. It might be due to the fact that you were so thankful that someone was not only willing to talk to you, but help you that caused you to no longer look at her with nearly overwhelming lust.

Okay, so after you read them, you DO spend an inordinate amount of time rubbing the comics on yourself and enjoying her “scent” and think about her while you jack off a little bit. But you still feel a little better, like the obsession has lessened a little.

Patricia comes over several more times as your Mom tutors her and she brings you more comics. You appreciate it, but eventually she doesn’t need anymore tutoring and you miss her and the comics especially since the comics were working.

You get depressed and mope around the house, but your Mom is quite tired of you in general at this point.

“Look, I know you’re trying to beat your fucking addiction, but you’re taking too fucking long about it! If you’re going to insist on being a man-child that lives in my goddamn basement forever, the least you can do is go and get a fucking job! In fact you ARE going to get one, or I’m kicking your fat ass out!”

Since you don’t have much of a choice, you leave the house for the first time in a long time. The sunlight burns your pasty skin and eyes, but you waddle down the street in your quest to find a job.

The problem is, you don’t even know where to look, so you just end up going to the comic shop to read them without paying.

Jake the comic shop owner sees you enter and is really surprised.

“Brian is that you? Shit man, thought you might’ve died of a heart attack or gotten arrested for having child porn on your computer har har har har! Where have you been? You’ve missed several issues of your favorite Japanese shit.”
“Yeah, well that’s why I haven’t been here, I destroyed my entire collection. I’ve quit it cold turkey, but it hasn’t been easy.”
“Shit, that’s almost hard to believe, but then again you never were one to miss an issue before, so I guess you’re telling the truth. But what brings you back here?”
“I dunno, my mom told me to look for a job or she’s going to kick me out. I dunno what I’m going to do.”
“Well, you could work here, I need someone to lug around the comic boxes. I’m going to be doing some rearranging.”
“What? Are you serious, I thought Ron did that.”
“Ron’s fuckin’ dead. Found the asshole dead with a broken neck in my fucking bathroom! He was looking at one of those sex comics and the dumb ass decided to try autoerotic asphyxiation. I swear that’s the last time I hire a retard.”

This could be an opportunity to save yourself from being homeless, or it could be a relapse back into your former addiction. Remember, you’d be working right at the source.
> You take the job
This is going to be very difficult, but you’d rather risk getting addicted again than being homeless.

“I’ll take the job.”
“Alright then, but let’s get something straight first. I’m going to be watching you CLOSE. While you say that you’ve kicked the anime habit, I remember when you were a little junkie, so I don’t want to find out if you’re stealing shit, because I will be kicking your fat ass if that’s ever the case.” Jake threatens.

You nod and agree meekishly where upon Jake tells you go start moving and unpacking boxes.

This is probably the first time you’ve actually had to do any “hard work” in your life. Moving the boxes is an effort for you and you have to rest several times. Jake yells and screams at you the entire time. You almost think he’s going to fire you that day, but he never does. You can only assume he’s really desperate for help and he must be considering he hired you.

The only good thing about all this, is that you’re too damn tired to even think about your anime addiction, but this is just the first day after all…

When you get home, your mother is a little surprised to see you.

“You’ve been out? I figured you were down in the basement.”
“No, I got a job. You said you were going to kick me out if I didn’t.”
“YOU DID?! How much does it pay?”
“Not much, I work at the comic shop…”
“Oh. Well I suppose it was too much to hope for that you’d actually be able to move out one day…(Sigh) Alright, I guess you made the effort, but don’t you think it’s a little idiotic to work at a place like that given your addiction?”
“Probably.”

Your mother just shakes her head.

“Well you never were the brightest. However, considering that you’re making your own money now, you can use THAT to feed your addiction if it should flare up again. And you WILL be paying me back for all that shit you bought with my stolen credit card you asshole!” your Mom says while hitting you upside the head.

You head back down to your basement completely exhausted by today’s labor. You don’t even jack off, you just fall asleep. You MUST be tired!

As the days go by you go about your job, but you start to feel the temptation. Especially when a big shipment of Japanese DVDs, graphic novels and comics arrive.

You’re trying hard not to look too much at the Japanese shit. REALLY hard. In fact something else is starting to get hard and you’re starting to hear shit in the stock room.

“Tee hee! Come on, open us up! We’ve never been touched yet!” a little girl voice says.
“What the fuck?” you reply.
“Yeah, come on Brian, what’s wrong? You used to like to deflower us and run your hands ALL over us. I remember how you used to spew all your delicious spunk on our 2-Dimensional faces! Mmmm! Come back to us! We’ll love being your little fuck slut in LOLI-WHORE SCHOOL! Tee hee!”
“I was a different person, look I read different comics now. I need some variety.”
“Hey man, I’m all for variety, you remember that time you bought that ORGY OF THE CYBERNETIC TENTACLE MUTANTS anime DVD? We’ve got it all! You should come back to us. It’s pointless to resist.” a more robotic voice says.
“Shhhhh! Shut up about that! I was uh… just wondering what the appeal was! Look I’ve been reading some super hero stuff, and I’m starting to like that now, so…”
“Bah! Super heroes! You actually like those muscle bound parodies of the masculine form? I remember when you appreciated a more subtle type of hero. One who was shy, soft spoken and had a large dose of ambiguous sexuality to them. Hey if you don’t like girls anymore, we got things to satisfy those urges too you know! Like SHOTA DICKGIRL ADVENTURES!” an effeminate male voice says.
“GAH! Leave me alone!”
“Well there’s always…”
“Don’t say it!”

“Come on, you can’t say you never thought about it…”
“Don’t say it!”

“Come on, it’s completely normal. They even did a CSI episode of it…”
“Don’t you FUCKING say it!”

“Furries.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

At this point you run out of the stock room and the comic shop screaming your head off. You don’t stop running until you collapse from exhaustion which means you only get to the end of the block thanks to your poor physical condition.

Fortunately some kind soul helps you.

“Hey Brian, are you okay?” Patricia asks.

Your eyes flutter open and you look up to see an angel of perfection. Your eyes follow her exposed legs, at this angle you can see up her dress. White panties. The color of purity.

She’s so pure. She’s sooooo good. You take one look at her smiling face and you ejaculate in your skidmarked underwear, giving something else for your poor mom to clean.

“Yeah, I’m okay…I just…I dunno. Some weird shit happened.”
“It happens. Okay let’s help you up.”

As Patricia helps you up, you smell the scent of her hair…SMMMMMM AHH! It smells like heaven!

You just want to tell her how much you like her right now. You’re sure that IF you just had a girlfriend you could get over your addiction a lot quicker.

Far be it from me to warn you about this course of action. But you’re doing it again.

You start sweating and breathing heavy. Patricia’s looking at you with concern.

“Are you alright? You look a little flush.”
“I just…I dunno…it addiction is really hard to break and I liked it when we used to speak and stuff. It kept my mind off things a lot better. You were so nice and understanding.”
“Awww…look I didn’t know I had so much of an effect. I’ll tell you what, I’ll try to make some time for us to talk every once in awhile”

Well fortunately for you, you weren’t quite brave enough to admit your inappropriate feelings directly and she takes what you say completely out of context.

“So where were you heading?” she asks.
“Oh…uh the comic shop. I work there now.”
“You do? Well no wonder you nearly had a relapse silly!”
“Yeah well Jake might fire me after this.”
“Nah, I’ll talk to him. He’s always nice to me and gives me discounts. Let’s go.”

This probably doesn’t make things easier for you since this naivety just turns you on more. You have to fight the urge to pull it out and start wackin’ it as you stare at her ass the whole time you’re walking back to the comic shop.

Jake is about ready to yell at you, but when he sees Patricia he focuses on her instead. You quietly go back and move boxes, getting to keep your job. Once again Patricia has helped you out. This girl MUST be yours! She’s everything you could ever want in a girl. She’s perfection.

Time passes and you continue to work at the comic shop and spend time with Patricia when you can. It’s good for you. You get exercise and get to spend time with a pretty girl… who just happens to be your underage cousin.

Patricia also encourages you to read more American comics which you start doing on a regular basis. Of course now this means you’ve got a little more to talk about with Patricia and your feelings for her are getting to a point where it’s getting harder to not hide.
> You tell Patricia how you really feel about her
It’s too much; you just can’t hide it anymore. You HAVE to tell her!

One day when you’re alone with her in your basement, you just blurt it out.

“Patricia, you’ve been so nice to me. More than a basement dweller like me deserves. And I know this is wrong, but I’ve grown to love you. I can only hope that somewhere within you, you love me too.”

You’re never going to believe this, but Patricia doesn’t run away in terror screaming. Though she does look a little apprehensive and starts edging away from you.

“Uh…Brian. I’m flattered, but…uh I don’t think…”
“Believe me, I know it’s wrong. I used to read the SUPER HAPPY INCEST FAMILY comic series. But I can’t help but feel this way about you!”
“Brian, I know you’re desperate for female companionship, but maybe you just need to jack off or something.”
“Jacking off has lost all meaning now. At one time I used to just be satisfied with images of anime girls getting raped, but now that I’ve been in close and civilized contact with a real woman on a regular basis I want more.”
“Can’t you find a different girl?”
“What other girl wants me? You’re the only one I know who understands me!”
“But dude, I’m your cousin!”
“So? Samurai Warrior Raki Onari fell in love with his…”

At this point Patricia slaps you.

“Damn it Brian! I thought you were past this! You aren’t a samurai, I ain’t some geisha and this ISN’T an anime comic! You need to get this Jap shit outta your head once and for all!”
“I know, I know! (Sob!) But its like with you around, all my anime fantasies could come true! I mean maybe you could even put on some cat ears…”

Your cousin slaps you again.

“NO! FUCK NO! Look Brian if you expect any kind of relationship with me, you won’t be making me dress up in anything remotely furry!”
“(Sob) I’m sorry, I’m just…wait…did you say?”
“I said if you want any chance with me, you better knock off this anime shit for good!”

You can hardly believe your ears. Against all odds your pretty teenage cousin is offering to have a relationship you. It seemed like she was prett against it just a moment ago. At this point you pinch your own ass just make sure you’re not dreaming.

“Ow!” you say.
“Why the fuck are you pinching your own ass?”
“Nevermind. I’m just over thrilled that you aren’t calling the police on me. I’m so glad you’ve made this decision! I can be so good for you; you’ll see…but uh, remember we’ll have to keep this a secret.”
“No shit. We’d probably look suspicious hanging out together if most folks wouldn’t ever believe that I’d be caught dead fucking someone that looks like you! Hah! Though all that box lifting at the comic shop must’ve had an effect on you. You’re putting on a little more muscle rather than remaining the disgusting blob you were before.”
“Um…thanks I think...”

Now at this point someone less desperate would sense something is amiss personality wise with this chick, but of course you’re not really thinking about that.

You don’t think about it when she starts sucking your cock, minutes after this conversation.

You don’t think about it when she punches you in the face after swallowing your load.

You don’t think about it when she’s fucking you while your mom is out of the house.

You don’t think about it when she begins to constantly insult you and physically abuse you whenever possible.

After getting a dildo shoved up your ass during a particularly rough round of sex, you begin to think about it!

Over the past few months you’ve come to find out that your lovely Patricia is bat shit insane. Lots of stuff you didn’t know about her come to light, like your previous notions of her being some beacon of purity were completely wrong as well. She’s been fucking guys since sixth grade. (Definitely shows when she’s fucking you too) She’s also supposed to be taking meds and she hasn’t. You don’t exactly know what mental illness she has, but she’s definitely not a well girl. (This really shouldn’t surprise you considering she’s fucking you)

None of this would be so bad, if she hadn’t become so increasingly sadistic towards you. You’ve been letting her get away with it too, so she’s just getting worse.

The only good thing about all this is you haven’t once been thinking about anime. Not because you’ve got something else to concentrate on now, but because you’ve learned to associate anime with pain and fear. (Which is a fetish you definitely haven’t embraced) Anytime you showed signs of relapsing again, your cousin would punish you severely. (Even more than usual)

While I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned and the philosophical idea of being careful of wishing and all that other shit, but really none of that is going to help you right now. You can either stay in this completely fucked up relationship or try to break up with her.
> You break up with this crazy bitch!
Seriously? Shit, I didn’t think you had it in you.

You gather up all your courage for your next meeting with Patricia. You’re really nervous and on edge. Your mom notices this before she goes to work.

“Hey Brian.”
“AGHH! SHIT!” you shout, not realizing she was there. “Damn you scared me.”
“Calm down, it’s just me. Shit, Patricia’s got you more jumpy than a five year old at a NAMBLA convention.”
“Patricia? Uh I dunno…”
“Cut the shit son, I know all about it. I wash your sheets remember?”
“You knew? You didn’t care?”
“Well, I can’t say I approved, but I guess I felt sorry for you. I mean hell you were finally getting laid and on a regular basis too. I figured if she got pregnant we’d just abort the unholy bastards. I didn’t quite know how crazy Patricia was until I spoke to her mother recently though. I imagine you didn’t either, but you were just so grateful for someone to fuck you. My sister Evelyn said they were going to ship her to some convent in South Seas, but strangely your relationship with her has had a calming effect. She seems to let most of her crazy shit out on you.”
“Yeah, I noticed and I don’t think I like it anymore.” You say.
“Well, I can’t say I blame you. I’m glad to see you have a backbone somewhere in that out of shape body of yours. Ah fuck, maybe some of this is my fault. I should’ve gotten you a hooker when you turned sixteen. At least you might’ve avoided this fucked up relationship.”

At this point your mom opens up her purse and takes out her handgun and gives it to you.

“Here, take this. If you’re going to break up with her, you might need it.”
“I don’t want to kill her!”
“Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but given how she is, you’d better have something to protect yourself. Now I’m going to work. Good luck son, and you better not leave a big fucking mess for me to clean up.”

Wow, that’s gotta be the first time your mom’s been supportive. Of course now you’re even more nervous.

Eventually Patricia comes over. She’s in a horny mood and grabs your balls hard when you open the door.

“Hey you fucking perv. You ready to shove that little dick in me for a good two minutes before you get too tired? Hah! You’re such a loser!” she says and then shoves her tongue in your mouth.

You push her back a bit and cover your balls while rubbing them in pain.

“Patricia, we really gotta talk.”
“Yes we do! I wanna talk about the last Batman comic! Can you believe that…” she says changing her tone as usual.
“No, Patricia we gotta talk about us.”
“Oh?”

While Patricia looks at you expectantly, you start and stop several times in an attempt to tell her it’s over, but just can’t do it. Patricia on the other hand realizes what’s going on and she gets very upset.

“You fucking bastard…you’re breaking up with me aren’t you? YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT!”
“Now Patricia, it’s not like that.”
“Oh then how is it like? I gave my body, my love, my fuckin’ SOUL to your sorry ass and this is how you repay me? Oh fuck no; you’re not getting away with this shit!”

Patricia doesn’t attack like you think she was going to, she starts to leave.

“What’re you doing?”
”Me? I’m going home, that’s what I’m doing! And I’m telling everyone of how you’ve been molesting and raping me on a routine basis. You’ll be locked up and I hope some big ass black guys shove their dicks up your bitch ass every night!”
“Patricia, your parents and my mom already know about us.” You say in the hopes it’ll stop her.

Patricia does stop. She didn’t expect that, but she quickly resumes her tirade.

“So what? Then they’ll get in trouble too! I’m still underage not to mention your fucking cousin! I’ll just go straight to the police and they’ll take you all in! Regardless of what happens, you’re still going to be in major fucking trouble and you’ll still be taking it in the ass in jail!”

Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s anger, maybe it’s a combination, but you pull the gun on Patricia and order her to stop.

“Patricia, I can’t let you do that.” You say, while Patricia looks at you in disbelief.
“Brian?! You’d actually shoot me? Someone you used to love?”
“I still love you Patricia, but I can’t let you go now. I would’ve before, but given your threats and your past abuses towards me, I can’t take that chance. You’re too chaotic…and I gotta do this.”

Patricia drops to her knees before you and starts to tear up. Her voice starts to quiver as she begs for her life.

“Brian…(sob) please. Don’t do this! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to treat you like that. I’m just all fucked up when I’m not on my medication. I’ll start taking it! We can still be together. Just please (sob) Don’t kill me!”

For a moment you drop your guard. It’s a moment though that is your downfall. Patricia punches you in the nuts and tries to wrestle the gun from your hand. In the ensuing struggle she manages to turn the gun on you and pull the trigger. You feel pain spread from your stomach to every other inch of your body. However unlike the movies, this doesn’t result in some “shocked” expression and you falling limp in slow motion. You instead have enough adrenalin to push her off of you and with the gun still firmly in your hands you shoot her twice in the chest.

Patricia falls to the floor in a bloody heap and you do likewise.

‘Ugh…damn it Patricia…”

Patricia doesn’t respond though since she’s already dead. You’ll be joining her soon. It’s probably for the best anyway. Still, even though she was a crazy bitch, she’s still the only love your life. You crawl over and grab her hand as you bleed out.

“Ha ha ha ha, Mom’s gonna have a big ass mess to clean up when she gets home.” You laugh as you start to lose consciousness and pass from this world.

And so ends the life of another basement dweller, but you know the old saying: “Tis better to have fucked your cousin and die, then to have never fucked your cousin at all.”

Okay so that’s not how it goes, but you still accomplished one major thing that most basement dwellers never do and that’s getting laid by a real live girl. And it didn’t even involve money or rape! Not to mention she was a jailbait family member. Do you realize how many sexual repressed Japs and jilted Rednecks dream to be in that position? Why some basement dwelling pedophile fucktards go through their whole pathetic lives too scared to act on their feelings and only content on wackin’ it to prostitot beauty pageant pictures. YOU were living the dream man! You were living the fuckin’ dream!

So cheer up and don’t think of dying as a loss because a Winner is YOU!


It’s too much; you just can’t hide it anymore. You HAVE to tell her!

One day when you’re alone with her in your basement, you just blurt it out.

“Patricia, you’ve been so nice to me. More than a basement dweller like me deserves. And I know this is wrong, but I’ve grown to love you. I can only hope that somewhere within you, you love me too.”

You’re never going to believe this, but Patricia doesn’t run away in terror screaming. Though she does look a little apprehensive and starts edging away from you.

“Uh…Brian. I’m flattered, but…uh I don’t think…”
“Believe me, I know it’s wrong. I used to read the SUPER HAPPY INCEST FAMILY comic series. But I can’t help but feel this way about you!”
“Brian, I know you’re desperate for female companionship, but maybe you just need to jack off or something.”
“Jacking off has lost all meaning now. At one time I used to just be satisfied with images of anime girls getting raped, but now that I’ve been in close and civilized contact with a real woman on a regular basis I want more.”
“Can’t you find a different girl?”
“What other girl wants me? You’re the only one I know who understands me!”
“But dude, I’m your cousin!”
“So? Samurai Warrior Raki Onari fell in love with his…”

At this point Patricia slaps you.

“Damn it Brian! I thought you were past this! You aren’t a samurai, I ain’t some geisha and this ISN’T an anime comic! You need to get this Jap shit outta your head once and for all!”
“I know, I know! (Sob!) But its like with you around, all my anime fantasies could come true! I mean maybe you could even put on some cat ears…”

Your cousin slaps you again.

“NO! FUCK NO! Look Brian if you expect any kind of relationship with me, you won’t be making me dress up in anything remotely furry!”
“(Sob) I’m sorry, I’m just…wait…did you say?”
“I said if you want any chance with me, you better knock off this anime shit for good!”

You can hardly believe your ears. Against all odds your pretty teenage cousin is offering to have a relationship you. It seemed like she was prett against it just a moment ago. At this point you pinch your own ass just make sure you’re not dreaming.

“Ow!” you say.
“Why the fuck are you pinching your own ass?”
“Nevermind. I’m just over thrilled that you aren’t calling the police on me. I’m so glad you’ve made this decision! I can be so good for you; you’ll see…but uh, remember we’ll have to keep this a secret.”
“No shit. We’d probably look suspicious hanging out together if most folks wouldn’t ever believe that I’d be caught dead fucking someone that looks like you! Hah! Though all that box lifting at the comic shop must’ve had an effect on you. You’re putting on a little more muscle rather than remaining the disgusting blob you were before.”
“Um…thanks I think...”

Now at this point someone less desperate would sense something is amiss personality wise with this chick, but of course you’re not really thinking about that.

You don’t think about it when she starts sucking your cock, minutes after this conversation.

You don’t think about it when she punches you in the face after swallowing your load.

You don’t think about it when she’s fucking you while your mom is out of the house.

You don’t think about it when she begins to constantly insult you and physically abuse you whenever possible.

After getting a dildo shoved up your ass during a particularly rough round of sex, you begin to think about it!

Over the past few months you’ve come to find out that your lovely Patricia is bat shit insane. Lots of stuff you didn’t know about her come to light, like your previous notions of her being some beacon of purity were completely wrong as well. She’s been fucking guys since sixth grade. (Definitely shows when she’s fucking you too) She’s also supposed to be taking meds and she hasn’t. You don’t exactly know what mental illness she has, but she’s definitely not a well girl. (This really shouldn’t surprise you considering she’s fucking you)

None of this would be so bad, if she hadn’t become so increasingly sadistic towards you. You’ve been letting her get away with it too, so she’s just getting worse.

The only good thing about all this is you haven’t once been thinking about anime. Not because you’ve got something else to concentrate on now, but because you’ve learned to associate anime with pain and fear. (Which is a fetish you definitely haven’t embraced) Anytime you showed signs of relapsing again, your cousin would punish you severely. (Even more than usual)

While I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned and the philosophical idea of being careful of wishing and all that other shit, but really none of that is going to help you right now. You can either stay in this completely fucked up relationship or try to break up with her.
> You stay because even though she hurts you a lot, deep down you know she loves me
Well I would say you’re pussy whipped, and while that might have something to do with it, it’s far more likely that you’re just suffering from a form of battered spouse syndrome.

Yeah so anyway you stay with her and put up with more of her abuse. Now you’re probably thinking that she ends up killing you or something, but that doesn’t happen.

Nope, you don’t get arrested for statutory rape either. Her parents and your Mom are quite aware of the situation, but because Patricia lets all her aggression out on you, her parents find her to be much more manageable now. As for your mom, she figures that you getting laid and not wasting time on anime anymore so it’s at least step up.

Time passes and eventually you manage to get her ass pregnant. It’s at this point you are forced to move out of your mom’s house since she’s not putting up with you, your crazy bitch AND your unholy seed (Patricia’s family is even less receptive to the idea). Fortunately, you save up enough money to move out of your mom’s house and into a cheap ass trailer park with Patricia. (Hey you’re already fucking your cousin, might as well go with it at this point)

You and Patricia live in this trailer park for the rest of your lives where she not only continues to abuse you mentally and physically but also gets fatter with each mutant child she gives birth to.

Face it, you’re a big ass loser pal, but at least you’re no longer a basement dweller.


This is going to be very difficult, but you’d rather risk getting addicted again than being homeless.

“I’ll take the job.”
“Alright then, but let’s get something straight first. I’m going to be watching you CLOSE. While you say that you’ve kicked the anime habit, I remember when you were a little junkie, so I don’t want to find out if you’re stealing shit, because I will be kicking your fat ass if that’s ever the case.” Jake threatens.

You nod and agree meekishly where upon Jake tells you go start moving and unpacking boxes.

This is probably the first time you’ve actually had to do any “hard work” in your life. Moving the boxes is an effort for you and you have to rest several times. Jake yells and screams at you the entire time. You almost think he’s going to fire you that day, but he never does. You can only assume he’s really desperate for help and he must be considering he hired you.

The only good thing about all this, is that you’re too damn tired to even think about your anime addiction, but this is just the first day after all…

When you get home, your mother is a little surprised to see you.

“You’ve been out? I figured you were down in the basement.”
“No, I got a job. You said you were going to kick me out if I didn’t.”
“YOU DID?! How much does it pay?”
“Not much, I work at the comic shop…”
“Oh. Well I suppose it was too much to hope for that you’d actually be able to move out one day…(Sigh) Alright, I guess you made the effort, but don’t you think it’s a little idiotic to work at a place like that given your addiction?”
“Probably.”

Your mother just shakes her head.

“Well you never were the brightest. However, considering that you’re making your own money now, you can use THAT to feed your addiction if it should flare up again. And you WILL be paying me back for all that shit you bought with my stolen credit card you asshole!” your Mom says while hitting you upside the head.

You head back down to your basement completely exhausted by today’s labor. You don’t even jack off, you just fall asleep. You MUST be tired!

As the days go by you go about your job, but you start to feel the temptation. Especially when a big shipment of Japanese DVDs, graphic novels and comics arrive.

You’re trying hard not to look too much at the Japanese shit. REALLY hard. In fact something else is starting to get hard and you’re starting to hear shit in the stock room.

“Tee hee! Come on, open us up! We’ve never been touched yet!” a little girl voice says.
“What the fuck?” you reply.
“Yeah, come on Brian, what’s wrong? You used to like to deflower us and run your hands ALL over us. I remember how you used to spew all your delicious spunk on our 2-Dimensional faces! Mmmm! Come back to us! We’ll love being your little fuck slut in LOLI-WHORE SCHOOL! Tee hee!”
“I was a different person, look I read different comics now. I need some variety.”
“Hey man, I’m all for variety, you remember that time you bought that ORGY OF THE CYBERNETIC TENTACLE MUTANTS anime DVD? We’ve got it all! You should come back to us. It’s pointless to resist.” a more robotic voice says.
“Shhhhh! Shut up about that! I was uh… just wondering what the appeal was! Look I’ve been reading some super hero stuff, and I’m starting to like that now, so…”
“Bah! Super heroes! You actually like those muscle bound parodies of the masculine form? I remember when you appreciated a more subtle type of hero. One who was shy, soft spoken and had a large dose of ambiguous sexuality to them. Hey if you don’t like girls anymore, we got things to satisfy those urges too you know! Like SHOTA DICKGIRL ADVENTURES!” an effeminate male voice says.
“GAH! Leave me alone!”
“Well there’s always…”
“Don’t say it!”

“Come on, you can’t say you never thought about it…”
“Don’t say it!”

“Come on, it’s completely normal. They even did a CSI episode of it…”
“Don’t you FUCKING say it!”

“Furries.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

At this point you run out of the stock room and the comic shop screaming your head off. You don’t stop running until you collapse from exhaustion which means you only get to the end of the block thanks to your poor physical condition.

Fortunately some kind soul helps you.

“Hey Brian, are you okay?” Patricia asks.

Your eyes flutter open and you look up to see an angel of perfection. Your eyes follow her exposed legs, at this angle you can see up her dress. White panties. The color of purity.

She’s so pure. She’s sooooo good. You take one look at her smiling face and you ejaculate in your skidmarked underwear, giving something else for your poor mom to clean.

“Yeah, I’m okay…I just…I dunno. Some weird shit happened.”
“It happens. Okay let’s help you up.”

As Patricia helps you up, you smell the scent of her hair…SMMMMMM AHH! It smells like heaven!

You just want to tell her how much you like her right now. You’re sure that IF you just had a girlfriend you could get over your addiction a lot quicker.

Far be it from me to warn you about this course of action. But you’re doing it again.

You start sweating and breathing heavy. Patricia’s looking at you with concern.

“Are you alright? You look a little flush.”
“I just…I dunno…it addiction is really hard to break and I liked it when we used to speak and stuff. It kept my mind off things a lot better. You were so nice and understanding.”
“Awww…look I didn’t know I had so much of an effect. I’ll tell you what, I’ll try to make some time for us to talk every once in awhile”

Well fortunately for you, you weren’t quite brave enough to admit your inappropriate feelings directly and she takes what you say completely out of context.

“So where were you heading?” she asks.
“Oh…uh the comic shop. I work there now.”
“You do? Well no wonder you nearly had a relapse silly!”
“Yeah well Jake might fire me after this.”
“Nah, I’ll talk to him. He’s always nice to me and gives me discounts. Let’s go.”

This probably doesn’t make things easier for you since this naivety just turns you on more. You have to fight the urge to pull it out and start wackin’ it as you stare at her ass the whole time you’re walking back to the comic shop.

Jake is about ready to yell at you, but when he sees Patricia he focuses on her instead. You quietly go back and move boxes, getting to keep your job. Once again Patricia has helped you out. This girl MUST be yours! She’s everything you could ever want in a girl. She’s perfection.

Time passes and you continue to work at the comic shop and spend time with Patricia when you can. It’s good for you. You get exercise and get to spend time with a pretty girl… who just happens to be your underage cousin.

Patricia also encourages you to read more American comics which you start doing on a regular basis. Of course now this means you’ve got a little more to talk about with Patricia and your feelings for her are getting to a point where it’s getting harder to not hide.
> You keep it to yourself
This is pretty surprising. In your choice between pussy and morals you chose morals. You’ve really come a long way.

Actually you haven’t. Your fear is just overriding your hornyness level. The fear of getting locked up for statutory rape and pedophilia and getting ass raped by real criminals is too great. It’s just as well; your shot at your cousin was pretty slim anyway.

In the meantime you tell Patricia to get out as you’re getting sleepy. You begin pushing her towards the door trying very hard not to grab her ass or tits.

“Alright, alright! I’m going! Stop shoving me! Shit, what’s your problem!?”
“I got a lot on my mind alright? I won’t have you hounding me with questions! Get out! Out! Out!”

Your outburst makes Patricia very upset. In fact she tears up, you fucking cad.

“Oh fuck you then! I was trying to help your lame ass out! I even thought that maybe… Nevermind! Don’t fucking contact me anymore jerk off! (Sob!)” Patricia yells before slamming the door.

With your cousin gone you feel so lost. Normally the temptation to go back to anime would be there, but instead you just feel depressed. It’s sort of like the first time she stopped coming over, but a lot worse because now you know she’s not coming back. Patricia was like your “girlfriend” even if she really wasn’t; the illusion was enough for you.

You cry in your pillows. The very pillows you used to hump and pretend they were her. You’re too sad to even do that. You’re totally emo right now.

Why you’re so emo, you might just become AN HERO.
> You become AN HERO
Well I guess we all shouldn’t be surprised that it would end like this.

In the traditional of overly dramatic An Heros you decide to make a suicide note first. If you still had the internet you would’ve really been able to take advantage of this momentous occasion, but ever since you gave up anime you lost that perk.

Anyway since you don’t really have any friends or even any relatives that like you, you just write about how you can’t go on due to your sick obsession with Patricia and then life isn’t worth living, it sucks, blah blah blah…

After writing your emo faggotry, you now decide on how to kill yourself. Unfortunately your mom carries her gun on her at all times so you can’t shoot yourself and you’re probably too much of a fucking sissy to go out V-Tech style anyway.

You try hanging, but your inept ass can’t tie a proper knot. Eventually you give up.

You head to the bathroom to find some pills, but your mom hasn’t refilled her prescriptions lately. You just swallow what’s left in the medicine cabinet, only to throw it all up five minutes later.

Undeterred in your quest to pwn yourself, you grab your mom’s razor blades and slit your fucking wrists open (Down the road not across the street of course) at last accomplishing something worthwhile in your miserable life.

You begin to bleed out; surprisingly you don’t even change your mind and try to desperately call 911. You just think about how you wasted your life in your mom’s basement jerking off to anime and how if you hadn’t tried to stop you probably wouldn’t be in this situation now. You would’ve been content on living the life of a basement dweller not knowing any better. Gotta love the irony eh?

Eventually you die and leave a bloody mess for your mom to clean up when she gets home. You aren’t really missed, and your letter was so drenched in blood that it was illegible, so nobody really knows why you killed yourself if anybody cared in the first place.

In other words you’re not even amusing enough to be An Hero, you fail at life AND death!


This is pretty surprising. In your choice between pussy and morals you chose morals. You’ve really come a long way.

Actually you haven’t. Your fear is just overriding your hornyness level. The fear of getting locked up for statutory rape and pedophilia and getting ass raped by real criminals is too great. It’s just as well; your shot at your cousin was pretty slim anyway.

In the meantime you tell Patricia to get out as you’re getting sleepy. You begin pushing her towards the door trying very hard not to grab her ass or tits.

“Alright, alright! I’m going! Stop shoving me! Shit, what’s your problem!?”
“I got a lot on my mind alright? I won’t have you hounding me with questions! Get out! Out! Out!”

Your outburst makes Patricia very upset. In fact she tears up, you fucking cad.

“Oh fuck you then! I was trying to help your lame ass out! I even thought that maybe… Nevermind! Don’t fucking contact me anymore jerk off! (Sob!)” Patricia yells before slamming the door.

With your cousin gone you feel so lost. Normally the temptation to go back to anime would be there, but instead you just feel depressed. It’s sort of like the first time she stopped coming over, but a lot worse because now you know she’s not coming back. Patricia was like your “girlfriend” even if she really wasn’t; the illusion was enough for you.

You cry in your pillows. The very pillows you used to hump and pretend they were her. You’re too sad to even do that. You’re totally emo right now.

Why you’re so emo, you might just become AN HERO.
> You damn it man, don't be AN HERO!
No! You will not become like every other loser that kills himself due to not being able to get some jailbait pussy. You’ll be like every other loser that finds a substitute instead!

You can’t think about her though, you need something else! But you got rid of all your anime and internet months ago! And you gotta jack off NOW!

You then remember, your other comics! You can use them instead! You quickly grab and scan through them…

All these super females are more like women than girls, but as you’ve been reading them over the past few months you find that you can still get turned on by them.

Ah hah! She-Hulk! She’ll do!

You begin to jack off vigorously to your replacement, and lo and behold it works! You feel better and less depressed.

Months pass and eventually you’re over Patricia altogether and found that obsessing over comic book girls to be much easier for you.

Besides you’ve found a new true love in all this: She-Hulk.

Why her? Hell if I know, it’s your pathetic fetish. I suppose you latched on to her the most due to her being your first jack off material after you resisted Patricia. Plus she’s green and shit.

Whatever the reason you just can’t get enough of her! She’s not only strong, but she’s intelligent too! And she looks just SO sexy with her green skin and Amazonian build!

You never wanted to fuck that sexy green bitch so much in your life! The real women just can’t compare to this two dimensional green goddess! They’ll never relate to you the way that SHE can. Oh sure your cousin Patricia came close, but…

Forget about that bitch, you got She-Hulk now!

But how you WISH She-Hulk was REAL! If ONLY that giant poster on your wall could come to life.

Hey loser, MAYBE if you wish REAL hard it will come true!
> You wish!
Are you fucking serious? I was fucking joking about that! Then again you’re pretty much bat shit insane at this point anyway…

Okay so you look at the poster of your unnatural object of desire, and begin to concentrate.

And concentrate…

And concentrate…

Well you’ve stared at the fuckin’ picture long enough to get you horny as hell, but she still hasn’t come to life and spread her green legs for you yet.

All you’ve gotten is an erection from your staring.

Now you’re looking at your dick.
You’re looking at the pic.
You’re looking at your dick.
You’re looking at the pic.
Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick.

While all this is mildly amusing, we probably should get on with this futile exercise

“URRRGGGH!”

That’s you still trying to wish She-Hulk into existence.

You don’t have a boner anymore since all the blood rushing to your other head as you redouble your efforts into concentrating on the poster.

Of course now you’re starting to give yourself a fucking headache from this nonsense, in fact you’re getting a little dizzy, you silly motherfucker.

Y’know you gave it a shot, but maybe this just wasn’t meant to be.

Your cousin Patricia’s still available and considering what a hopeless loser you are anyway, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you tried to pursue her again. I mean someone like you really should get it where you can and you can’t do that by jacking off to cartoon characters in your mom’s basement.

Think about how she left. She seemed pretty upset on a personal level. Maybe she even liked you romantically in some way. Maybe you could contact her again.

Of course if you wanna risk giving yourself a fuckin’ seizure, it’s your choice.
> You call up Patricia
You quickly snap to your senses. This She-Hulk fetish is just yet another way for you to avoid real women! You did that with anime, and now you’re doing it with this.

Patricia helped you out and was kind and sweet to you when by all rights you should’ve been taken out to the woods and shot for being a useless waste of skin. You need a woman like that in your life.

You quickly stop jerking it to She-Hulk and call up your cousin Patricia.

“Hello? Who is this?”
“Hey Patricia, it’s me Brian! I want us to be together! I know I fucked up before, but it’s because I thought that obsessing over my underage cousin was unnatural! But now I’ve come to realize it wasn’t unnatural at all! It was perfectly normal! Shit, it was downright Biblical! I know you must’ve liked me on some level too, so how about it? Will you give us another chance…and uh…keep it a secret at least until you’re eighteen?”
“Brian, this is Patricia’s mother, Evelyn.”

Oh fuck.

“Uh…hi Aunt Evelyn. Wow, you sound just like Patricia…uh…um…”
“Don’t even try to talk your way outta it Brian.”
“Erm…uh…”
“Stuttering isn’t much better. If it’ll clear your mind though, I’m not going to call the police on you. However, I can’t allow you to go out with Patricia.”
“But…but I love her!”
“Yeah, and I’m sure you would love for her to have your seven fingered, one eyed kids, but Patricia’s getting sent to a convent in the South Seas.”
“What? Why?”
“Why? Because me and her father are sick of her going off her meds and giving us fucking grief, that’s why! She’s a disobedient little whore, and we’ve had enough!”

You’re pretty floored by this revelation.

“…but…well hey wait. Maybe you could marry her off to me, and I could keep an eye on her and show her love she desperately needs.”
“YOU? Hah! And how’s that going to work out living in your mom’s basement? Christ I dunno how my sister even puts up with you. I would’ve sent you to a convent years ago. Besides, if we can’t control her, I doubt if you’d be able to. She’d have you so wrapped around her little finger you’d probably suck an AIDS ridden cock if she told you to. And while I’m sure it would still be the best thing that’s ever happened in your basement dwelling life, it ain’t happening. Goodbye.”

With that final telephone click, you fall to the floor in defeat. Your destiny is sealed and you return to the basement to wallow in 2-dimentional girls. Eventually you save up enough money to get a new computer and hooked up to the internet again and your relapse is complete. The only differences being that you still work at the comic shop and that you aren’t obsessed with anime anymore. (Though you still jack off to the occasional loli-con)

A step up, I suppose but not much of one. The fact remains that you’re still a basement dwelling virgin and you remain one until you eventually die of a Twinkie overload which causes your artery clogged heart to explode.


Are you fucking serious? I was fucking joking about that! Then again you’re pretty much bat shit insane at this point anyway…

Okay so you look at the poster of your unnatural object of desire, and begin to concentrate.

And concentrate…

And concentrate…

Well you’ve stared at the fuckin’ picture long enough to get you horny as hell, but she still hasn’t come to life and spread her green legs for you yet.

All you’ve gotten is an erection from your staring.

Now you’re looking at your dick.
You’re looking at the pic.
You’re looking at your dick.
You’re looking at the pic.
Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick.

While all this is mildly amusing, we probably should get on with this futile exercise

“URRRGGGH!”

That’s you still trying to wish She-Hulk into existence.

You don’t have a boner anymore since all the blood rushing to your other head as you redouble your efforts into concentrating on the poster.

Of course now you’re starting to give yourself a fucking headache from this nonsense, in fact you’re getting a little dizzy, you silly motherfucker.

Y’know you gave it a shot, but maybe this just wasn’t meant to be.

Your cousin Patricia’s still available and considering what a hopeless loser you are anyway, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you tried to pursue her again. I mean someone like you really should get it where you can and you can’t do that by jacking off to cartoon characters in your mom’s basement.

Think about how she left. She seemed pretty upset on a personal level. Maybe she even liked you romantically in some way. Maybe you could contact her again.

Of course if you wanna risk giving yourself a fuckin’ seizure, it’s your choice.
> You won't be denied! Not when you're THIS close to paradise!
You think and wish and concentrate and all that other shit like you’ve never done before!

And congratu-fuckin’-lations, you just knocked yourself fuckin’ unconscious you wacky fucktard!

You’re not out for long though and when you come to, you hear a voice say to you…

“Are you alright?”

You rub your eyes. Can it be? IT IS! IT FUCKIN’ IS! IT’S SHE-HULK! In all her green Amazonian glory!

You knew it! You knew if you worked for it hard enough, and wanted it bad enough, dreams really can come true!

She-Hulk looks at you smiling, and helps you up. She wants you, you KNOW it. You were meant to be together! And this your big chance to hit that sweet green pussy!

You briefly think about talking with her to get to know her a little better…

Talk? What’s to talk about? You already know everything about her from the comics you read! No you gotta be a man of action! That’s what got her to come to life in the first place. You kiss She-Hulk.

She kisses you back! You were half expecting her to clean your clock, but with the way things are going it looks like she’s gonna be sucking you cock!

This fuckin’ rules!

You and She-Hulk express your mutual love for each other in a physical way. She does things to you that you haven’t even had wet dreams about! (And you’ve had a lot of them) What surprises you the most is that’s she’s a gentle lover, which makes this not only physical attraction, but an emotional and even spiritual one as well. You are truly in heaven…

At least until your Mom walks in on you!

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” she screams.

You suddenly realize you haven’t been fucking She-Hulk at all. You’ve been ramming your dick into your poster of her on the wall the entire time you crazy fucker! You’ve ruined your poster, you’ve ruined your wall, you’ve ruined your dick and you’ve ruined your life! (Okay so your life was already ruined to begin with, but I was on a roll)

You dumb motherfucker, all the wishing in the world ain’t gonna make that green mutant come to life! (And like she would want YOU even if she was real!)

Your Mom has you committed (And who could blame her) You spend years in therapy trying to get over your obsession for She-Hulk, eventually your love goes away. It’s not easy, but the doctors manage to help you kick the green goddess by giving you other comics to read. In time you soon forget all about She-Hulk and don’t know what you ever saw in her, as you read your other comics.

You should’ve been focusing more on Wonder Woman!
Now she’s REALLY hot!

Hey maybe if you wish REAL hard…


Pretty brave of you, let’s see if it works.

You sit far away from her and answer her, while trying not to stare too hard.

“Oh, well I’m sorta doing okay I guess…”
“You seem troubled, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing really, I’m just trying to…(sigh) I’ll be honest. I’ve been severely addicted to anime for years and I’ve just now started to go cold turkey and it’s been harder than I thought.”

This confessional is about the only thing you could think of to talk about that wouldn’t cause her to call the cops on you. And that’s still a possibility. Stay the course fatty, stay the fucking course!

“Wow, that’s pretty commendable of you. I remember that you were all into that anime stuff the last time we had a family gathering. Even though I was young even I thought you were a bit obsessed with it.”
“Yeah I dunno how I’m going to make it…” you say trying to fight the urge to say anything inappropriate.
“Maybe you should try this.” Patricia says and opens up her bookbag. She throws a comic book at you. It’s one of those superhero ones. AMERICAN superheroes! Like superman and such. You’re taken off guard and forget about your unnatural feelings for a moment.

“Superman?”
“Yeah, maybe if you read some other comics it will help ease your transition. The only thing is, you could get addicted to those, so be careful.”
“Y’know, this could work. I never really was interested in these types before, so I probably won’t get too attached.”
“And unlike the anime shit, you got more of a variety meaning you’re less likely to get obsessed with one thing. I mean the characters are at least different from each other in looks and stuff.”
“This is a great idea! I just wish I had some money to go down to the comic shop and try this out!”
“Here, take these. I never bother rereading them.” Patricia says handing you a bunch of superhero comics.
“Alright! Thanks!” you say and run down to the basement.

It’s funny, but the fact that Patricia was into comics didn’t make you more aroused like it would most loser geeks. It might be due to the fact that you were so thankful that someone was not only willing to talk to you, but help you that caused you to no longer look at her with nearly overwhelming lust.

Okay, so after you read them, you DO spend an inordinate amount of time rubbing the comics on yourself and enjoying her “scent” and think about her while you jack off a little bit. But you still feel a little better, like the obsession has lessened a little.

Patricia comes over several more times as your Mom tutors her and she brings you more comics. You appreciate it, but eventually she doesn’t need anymore tutoring and you miss her and the comics especially since the comics were working.

You get depressed and mope around the house, but your Mom is quite tired of you in general at this point.

“Look, I know you’re trying to beat your fucking addiction, but you’re taking too fucking long about it! If you’re going to insist on being a man-child that lives in my goddamn basement forever, the least you can do is go and get a fucking job! In fact you ARE going to get one, or I’m kicking your fat ass out!”

Since you don’t have much of a choice, you leave the house for the first time in a long time. The sunlight burns your pasty skin and eyes, but you waddle down the street in your quest to find a job.

The problem is, you don’t even know where to look, so you just end up going to the comic shop to read them without paying.

Jake the comic shop owner sees you enter and is really surprised.

“Brian is that you? Shit man, thought you might’ve died of a heart attack or gotten arrested for having child porn on your computer har har har har! Where have you been? You’ve missed several issues of your favorite Japanese shit.”
“Yeah, well that’s why I haven’t been here, I destroyed my entire collection. I’ve quit it cold turkey, but it hasn’t been easy.”
“Shit, that’s almost hard to believe, but then again you never were one to miss an issue before, so I guess you’re telling the truth. But what brings you back here?”
“I dunno, my mom told me to look for a job or she’s going to kick me out. I dunno what I’m going to do.”
“Well, you could work here, I need someone to lug around the comic boxes. I’m going to be doing some rearranging.”
“What? Are you serious, I thought Ron did that.”
“Ron’s fuckin’ dead. Found the asshole dead with a broken neck in my fucking bathroom! He was looking at one of those sex comics and the dumb ass decided to try autoerotic asphyxiation. I swear that’s the last time I hire a retard.”

This could be an opportunity to save yourself from being homeless, or it could be a relapse back into your former addiction. Remember, you’d be working right at the source.
> You find a different one
You decide it’s too much temptation so you don’t even suggest it. Meanwhile Jake continues to speak.

“So what are you looking for today, if you gave up the Anime shit?”
“Uh, nothing Jake. I don’t have any money.”
“Well if you don’t have any money get the fuck outta my store, I can’t afford to have fuckers lingering around without Ron around anymore. He might’ve been a retard, but he scared away any potential shoplifters.”
“Aw Jake, I’m not going to steal anything!”
“Yeah well I’m making sure you don’t by throwing your broke ass out. Besides you’re on the wagon, you might do something desperate like grab a bunch of my comics and run out of the store.”

It’s useless to argue with Jake at this point so you leave continuing to feel depressed. Eventually you go back home go to sleep hoping that Mom will take mercy on you when she gets home.

She doesn’t.

She was quite serious about throwing you out and does just that. All you have are the clothes on your back and the comics that Patricia gave you.

Patricia! That’s it! You’ll go live at her parent’s house! Then you can talk to her all the time!

At this point you’ve definitely cracked a little bit and have become hopefully delusional. You make your way over there fully believing that you’ll be accepted with open arms. Nevermind the fact that Patricia’s parents always thought you were a big ass loser even when you a kid. (They always thought your mom was a bitch too)

When you get over there you bang on the door loudly. At first there is no answer and you hear some sounds of running around and the sounds of “Hold on! Hold on!” You think you even hear someone running out the back. Eventually the door opens up. It’s Patricia and she’s only wearing a skimpy little robe. Her hair also looks disheveled. You’re almost awestruck by her near nakedness if she wasn’t so obviously pissed off.

“Brian what the hell are you doing here? I thought you were my Mom and Dad! You scared the shit out me! (Sigh) I was finally going to make a man outta my boyfriend today, thanks for interrupting us, fat ass!”
“What?”
“Do it! Have sex! FUCK! You scared off my boyfriend though when you were banging on the door.”
“Well you still could go through with those plans...” You say lustfully.
“Huh. You don’t know my boyfriend. It’ll be awhile before he calms down again, I practically had to make the first moves to begin with.”
“I was talking about me.” you say attempting to reach for her robe.

“Huh? What? EW! NO! Get away from me you perv!” Patricia screams and quickly slams the door in your face.

You completely lose it at this point and start banging on the door screaming.

“Come on Patricia, I know you want this! And I NEED this!”

You go so far as to grabbing a nearby brick and throwing it through the window. Some of the neighbors hear the commotion and come out to investigate.

“Hey you crazy fat fucker, what the hell’s going on!?”
“I’m getting some pussy!” you cry out, as you clumsily climb through the broken window cutting yourself up in the process.

You climb inside and fall on the floor, with your hands bloody and your dick still hard. Dirty thoughts of Patricia getting ready to have sex with her boyfriend fill your mind. Those thoughts will be your last as Patricia has grabbed her daddy’s gun and when you look up a bullet goes through your eye.

On the plus side, you didn’t think about anime once during your last living moments.


After years of watching anime and being dangerously close to either becoming a pedophile or a furry, (Or possibly a furry pedophile) you finally make a worthwhile decision. You grab your new anime DVDs and break them all! You then grab all your old ones and break them too!

Manga books all fucking burned! Comics too! Video games with anime graphics destroyed! You even break your computer just so you can’t be tempted by the internet! You’ve just destroyed your “social life” by doing that, but it’s worth it!

NO MORE FUCKING ANIME!

Holy shit you feel free! Seriously this is the first day of your new life and you’ve just made a break through here.

But don’t get too puffed up there fatty. The fact still remains that you’re a basement dwelling loser. You’re also going to experience withdrawals and the temptation to go back to anime will be there.

Best thing you can do right now is confine yourself to the house for awhile. Now…I know that might seem odd given that you practically stay inside for days on end anyway, but your trips to the comic shops might provide too much temptation.

And so begins the long road to recovery…

Days pass into weeks and you got the jitters like a fucking crackhead. You spend a lot of time pacing and staring at the walls in your room. You try to find ways to keep yourself occupied.

You try to watch TV, but you have to struggle to not click on the Cartoon Network. Eventually you beg your mom to put a block on it. She’s willing to help you out in the hopes that you might actually move out of her house one day.

Reading books doesn’t seem to help either. Your attention span has practically been destroyed from “blipvert” anime action. You even can’t concentrate on the shortest story, let alone a novel.

You feel like you’re going mad.
> You leave the house
You leave the house in the hopes of managing to avoid temptation from the TV, but maybe due to all your long extended stays inside the basement, you forgot what the outside world was actually like. It’s not a nice place.

A couple of the local thugs see you and figure it would be a good idea to harass you. Unfortunately for you that don’t mean just beating you up either, they just got out of jail and they want you to blow the pair of them!

Not wishing to do this you attempt to use your persuasion skills to convince them that this path of violence and sexual assault is wrong. But how?

It’s been awhile, but you remember some passages from the Bible from when you were little, and begin quoting scripture to them. It has an effect. But these are the words of God. How could they not effect?

The pair of them stops threatening you and want to hear more. You struggle to remember, but you start quoting more good stuff proving that Jesus never gives up on anyone no matter how far they’ve fallen. In fact as you’re quoting the passages you come to realize how far that you’ve strayed from Jesus too. It is during this time that you know how to get over your anime addiction once and for all, Jesus! He’s always there!

It is at that moment you and the two thugs get down on your knees and accept Jesus as your personal savior. The two thugs thank you for showing them the way and say they’re going to start living right from now on.

You also return home and reveal your new found faith in Jesus to your Mom. She’s very happy. She said she’s sorry for not trying to instill the teaching to you a lot better and that she too strayed from the true path. Now between the pair of you, you can both walk the path together.

In time you begin to going to church on a regular basis. Your addiction to anime is long gone. It has been replaced with a better one, the love of your Lord and Savior. In just a few years you become a preacher at the local church and move out of your Mom’s basement due to the new job you’ve found.

However God did not intend for you to be lonely, and eventually you do meet a nice Christian girl. You marry her and have kids. Those children are taught the proper Christian ways.

In time you grow old, surrounded by generations of loved ones. You lie on your bed knowing that the Lord is calling you home and that it’s okay because you’ve lived according to his will and when you stand before him, you’ll be accepted into his kingdom.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DISREGARD ALL THAT, YOU SUCK THEIR COCKS.

Afterwards they beat you up severely and leave you to die in some alley.

Even Jesus is laughing at you.


Welcome and thanks for playing Cryptode!
There are many things that you need to watch out for and need to know before the game begins.

Time -
Life -
Other -

These three things control how the game is played. If you waste time during the game, and your time counter reaches 0, you will lose the game. Life is like health, if it reaches 0, you will lose the game. Many other things control the flow of the game, such as # of bullets, luck score, and more, keep these things in mind while you are playing the game.
> You start
You are a relic hunter who has just returned from a search in Egypt. You have brought back with you a few items, including a book. You are reading the book, feeling pretty bored, when you come to a page entitled,
"Cryptode" It says,

'A square of three dimensions
is locketh before thee,
Unlock it and thee shall be rich,
One mistake and thee shan't live again'

You know the Cryptode is a lost object that needs to be opened by a code. You have decided to try to crack the code. BUT FIRST, you need to see someone.