[User] Or perhaps she was acting on instinct, voicing the unease Subaru was desperately shoving down inside him.

[Assistant] Roswaal came to shake his hand. "Weeell then, be in good health, Subaru. It has beeeen a short time, but it was quite enjoyable. Do not be concerned about my parting gift. Consider it a smaaall reward for the memories you created these last three days." Roswaal added a wink to the last part.

[User] "I get it; you’re paying me to keep my mouth shut. I won’t say anything. I swear on the dragon."

[Assistant] "It will keep others from approaching you as part of some wicked scheme. Besides, in this nation, to swear upon the dragon is to make the highest of oaths. It is not that I doubt you, but strive not to forrrget that."

[User] Subaru raised a hand in response to Roswaal’s reminder; he then turned to the twins, standing behind the clown-faced nobleman. The two stood silently as Subaru reached and patted them both on the shoulder. "You two were a huge help, especially Rem with those really delicious meals. Ram… Mm, well, she cleans toilets really well?"

[Assistant] "Sister, Sister, the Dear Guest’s flattery is despairingly awkward."

[User] "Rem, Rem, the Dear Guest’s flattery is a complete disaster."

[Assistant] "Well, excuse me, I really couldn’t think of anything else! But thanks." Having said his good-byes to everyone, he pushed open the front doors before he got cold feet. From the entrance of the manor, he cut through the garden, passed through the metal gate, and continued on to the forest path that was a straight shot to Auram Village. Subaru’s stated plan was to head from there to the nearest highway, hire a passing carriage, and head to the capital—but that plan was a feint.

[User] "Subaru, thanks for everything. If anything happens, come back anytime, okay?" With Emilia’s statement of farewell, her words gentle until the bitter end, Subaru departed, walking the path toward Auram Village. The silver-haired girl waved until she could no longer see Subaru from the mansion. Her oh-so-adorable behavior dulled his worries and made his sense of duty burn once more.


[User] Subaru had cleared the forested slopes, arriving at a foothill nestled among the mountains. He could watch the mansion below from the cliff right in front of him. From there, he could observe the familiar, luxurious sights of Roswaal Manor. He’d circled around from the forest path and cut through forest and mountain to arrive at the perfect observation point. "It has an especially good view of Emilia’s room. I’ll see anything weird happening right away.”

[Assistant] He could make out the window to Emilia’s room even at a distance. He couldn’t see inside, but it was a good spot for watching for any signs of trouble. And on the night of the fourth day, trouble would surely come. “In other words, tonight. All that’s left is to wait for something to happen.”

[User] From that morning, Subaru had about sixteen hours to kill—surely he could hold his concentration that long. This way, he could figure out what would happen at Roswaal Manor beforehand and rush back to the manor immediately. This time Subaru would have the element of surprise on his side. If he’d remained at the mansion, Subaru would be one more victim of the attacker’s curse. With limited means of counterattack and low overall combat ability, Subaru couldn’t take on the attacker straight up. He desperately needed any shred of information he could get on the assassin. So, what to do? Subaru had come up with a simple answer. “This time, my goal is to identify the attacker and nail down the details of the attack…even if it kills me.”

[Assistant] Having died twice so far, Subaru had determined that the attack was an assassination having to do with the royal succession. He didn’t know if he’d been collateral damage with Emilia as the main target or if he’d been killed as some kind of message to her. But having been murdered twice already, Subaru considered it highly likely everyone close to her was being slaughtered. “Putting aside if countermeasures will work…seems like Roswaal has his guard up anyway…”

[User] Subaru based that on the premise that Roswaal, the nobleman with a scheming mind behind his clown face, was not such a fool as to leave his king piece, bearing the name of Emilia, defenseless on the chessboard. The existence of Ram and Rem, the two servants he’d left behind at the mansion, was further evidence. “To be honest, at first I thought it was nuts to have just two maids taking care of a huge mansion like that, but…”

[Assistant] They were lord and vassal, their mutual trust rock solid, bonds of loyalty formed through long service. Seeing Ram’s slavish devotion and Rem’s adoration of her had told him that much. Roswaal had surely surrounded Emilia with people who would never betray him. The fact that one maid had retired several months before, yet, according to Ram, no replacement would be hired, assured him Emilia would be protected.


[User] "The problem is, I don’t know if they’re on guard enough, given that I died from the attack already. If I’m the only one who died, well, good… Wait, that’s not good."

[Assistant] If Roswaal’s defense plans simply didn’t account for Subaru, a wild card, then all was well and good. If it wasn’t so, that meant Emilia would come to harm as well. And Subaru, having died three times at the capital and two at the manor, was accustomed by now to reality foiling the best of plans. You needed to expect the worst case…and then expect worse than that.

[User] "Here, the worst case is that Roswaal’s guard is down and Emilia gets assassinated. Of course, that’d mean Roswaal, Ram, Rem, and then Beatrice get slaughtered, too… Ugh, damn it." Just picturing the worst-case scenario filled him with disgust. Though it was to stop all that, he wanted to vent at his entirely logical decision to watch events unfold from the outside. Of course Subaru, who wore his heart on his sleeve, planned to stay on guard the whole time, ready to instantly rush back to the manor if anything happened, running around and warning of the enemy attack, but…

[Assistant] "Well, it’d be nice if the guy’s super cautious and runs off just from my yelling at him, right?" Subaru voiced the optimistic view as he pulled a rope out of his knapsack. It was a rather long rope he’d borrowed from the manor’s warehouse. Subaru firmly tied one end around the trunk of a nearby tree and the other around his own waist. He used complex knots along the way as if his life depended on it, which it kind of did.

[User] "And last, the knife to cut the rope… She’d probably be ticked off if she knew I was using it like this." As he spoke, he took out the knife that he’d lovingly dubbed Shooting Star. In the present loop, he’d been in a position to lay his hands on it for the first time only that day. "I used it a whole bunch during the four days of the other loops, though.” During his time doing odd jobs as a servant, Subaru’s kitchen duties mainly involved peeling vegetables and washing tableware. Shooting Star was the beloved blade that Subaru had used to cut potato-like veggies, apples, and, from time to time, his own hand. When, this time, he’d come up with a plan that required a knife, he grabbed that one without a second thought.

[Assistant] “Hopefully just for cutting the rope, but if worse comes to worst…” The knife was not only to facilitate his escape but to wound himself if the time came, for surely stimulation from the pain of self-harm would make him able to resist the gnawing sleepiness of the curse. If worse came to worst, he might have to turn that blade upon the enemy. And if it was worse than that—

[User] "For suicide, huh? Geez…can I do that?"


[User] Subaru looked at himself reflected in the blade’s edge as a laugh at his own expense came over him. As he looked at the blade in his hand, memories of Ram and Rem rose in the back of his mind.

[Assistant] “…They’d be angry with me for misusing it like this, too, wouldn’t they?” He could totally picture in his mind both girls angry with him, with Ram glaring down at him and Rem looking aghast.

[User] "They’d be totally pissed, huh… I hope they would be…" The longing words leaked out from his lips. One way or another, he truly wanted to bury himself in that day-to-day life again.

[Assistant] "I don’t wanna die— I don’t wanna let them die…" Subaru said it for his own benefit as he remembered the faces of the people he’d only just said good-bye to. Subaru had cast away Emilia and the others to prepare for the next loop. Yet this time, just like the last times, he’d formed definite bonds with the girls. He suppressed his throbbing chest. This was his punishment, the natural price to pay for what he had done. It was a cross to bear that Subaru, having formed a plan premised on losing something, could not shirk. He had to carry both the sweet and the bitter thoughts with him. Subaru had spent those thrown-away four days prying open that raw wound, enduring pain like that of having his flesh gouged and his bones broken, all so that he would remember it.

[User] "You said it yourself, Subaru Natsuki. Even if everyone else forgets…you’ll remember." That was why he couldn’t think of this time as something he could forget. Subaru had to continue to crave a happy ending until the last possible moment. No one had the right to decide that Emilia and the others were no more than bubbles on the edge of the time stream. Subaru kept hidden among the trees as he observed Roswaal Manor.

[Assistant] Trusting his body to that hard-earned feeling, Subaru stayed put and waited for time to pass.


[User] As evening drew near, the setting sun bathed the hill Subaru was on in an orange light. Squinting from the sun’s rays, Subaru moved his tense body around, shaking out the cobwebs. He’d already been watching the manor for something like eight hours. During that time, there had been no sign of anything unusual; the mansion remained entirely peaceful.

[Assistant] So things really were fine there until night fell.


[User] "Come to think of it, Rem didn’t go shopping this time…"

[Assistant] There had been no sign of the Day Four event of Rem going shopping. Perhaps she simply didn’t need to because Subaru’s departure meant one less mouth to feed. It was an odd discrepancy. When Subaru realized he was smiling at the memories, his sense of tension lifting, he pinched his own cheek. This wasn’t the place or time to let up on his concentration. "Like I can do something stupid like that with eight hours to go. Concentrate, concentra—" He stopped mid-word.

[User] For better or worse, it was at the very moment Subaru switched gears that the attack came. "—!" The instant his eardrums detected a faint sound, Subaru dove to the side without hesitation. He’d devoted his five senses to determining when to do the evasive maneuver he’d settled on beforehand.

[Assistant] The next moment, he heard something exceptionally heavy make a smashing sound, snapping trees in two as trees all around him, plus their leaves and branches, came down with a wild cacophony of snapping sounds. Amid all that, Subaru rushed straight for the cliff and leapt straight down. "—Aa!" Even clenching his teeth, he couldn’t stop himself from letting out a faint cry, his insides turning over from the weightless feeling of falling. But his lifeline cut that short after two long seconds as he let out an anguished cry from the pain of the ropes biting in. "Emergency escape…!" Cutting the rope with his knife, he resumed his descent, the bottoms of his shoes digging into a slanted rock face. Sliding and hitting his shoulder, Subaru landed on the ground roughly, somehow keeping his footing, and ran without pausing for breath. He tossed away the knapsack to lighten the load, breathing raggedly as he ran without a care for proper form.

[User] "I saw it! Yeaaaah…I totally saw it!" The object that had attacked Subaru by surprise and mowed down various trees was a spiked iron ball as large as a man’s skull, basically a killer bowling ball on a really, really long chain, the weapon known as a “morning star.”

[Assistant] Subaru had hit the dirt when his eardrums picked up the faint metallic sound of that horrible weapon’s chain. Having witnessed its fiendish power for himself, Subaru still wasn’t biting with his teeth lined up right. The way that thing had flown at him, his body probably would have been splattered if it had connected. Now Subaru could understand how half his body had been sent flying. "But…he came here, huh? !" He stomped on branches, leapt across a gulch, and raced across areas with poor footing. Subaru had anticipated that he might be attacked. Having distanced himself from the manor, he determined that an attack on him was just as possible as a raid on the mansion itself. If the objective was to kill anyone involved, Subaru was still on that list.


[User] “But that’s based on knowing I was at the mansion since days ago!” That would mean the assailant had been observing the mansion for several days, drawing up plans in secret.

[Assistant] “—!” Out of breath, he’d lost his way, focusing on not tripping as he headed down a game trail.

[User] Subaru, breathing roughly, clicked his tongue at the scene unfolding before him.

[Assistant] “So I’ve been totally dancing on the other guy’s palm?” Dismayed, Subaru stood before a cliff that hemmed him in. Looking at the hard, jagged rock wall, it was like a natural fortress for resisting all attempts to climb. Naturally, Subaru had no way at the moment to overcome that obstacle.


[User] Subaru turned around and girded himself, taking deep, ragged breaths. The forest before him had grown darker at some point, with the trees filtering out the setting sun, making him feel cut off from the world and very, very alone.

[Assistant] “If you’re coming, bring it on…!” Subaru shoved away his misgivings, opening his track jacket in front and stripping it off. He spread out the track jacket with both hands, quietly waiting for his assailant to arrive. He was being pursued. He’d been backed into a corner. That moment, Subaru felt as helpless as prey caught in a predator’s trap. But he wasn’t so cute and helpless that he’d let himself get eaten without a fight. He’d make the other guy earn it.

[User] “Damn it…you coming or not?! ?” Subaru’s body demonstrated uncanny reflexes toward the lethal attack before his eyes. He raised the track jacket aloft with both hands, catching the flying iron ball from below, enveloping it as he barely evaded by the skin of his teeth a ferocious strike to his body. But the top was ripped from his hands as his body smacked against the wall with an undiluted impact. But the moment Subaru lifted his eyes and saw that the iron ball, having missed its target, was stuck in the face of the cliff just as he’d hoped, he got a firm grip on the elongated chain. Then he glared down the chain he gripped—in the direction of the assailant holding the other end.

[Assistant] “Now, show yourself, bastard! I’ve gone through a lot of trouble to see your face! !” He raised an angry shout and talked trash to lift his own spirits. Gripping the chain in one hand, he used the other to re-grip the knife he’d cut the rope with earlier. He resolved to swing it in the assailant’s face if worse came to worst. If it came to that, Subaru wouldn’t hesitate. His eyes hardened. He wouldn’t run no matter who or what came out. His life was in grave peril, but somehow, he was still alive. Maybe he didn’t have to throw away this time; maybe it was still possible to drive off the assailant. Having already given up once, Subaru desperately reached out for any glimmer of hope. Perhaps that glimmer was Emilia.


[User] Perhaps it was the maid twins. Perhaps it was that cheeky little girl or maybe Roswaal. Without intending to, Subaru forgot his situation, remembering the collection of memories he thought he’d shoved aside. He’d made promises. Promises he had to keep.

[Assistant] "—You leave me no choice." The chain made a sound. She felt slack in the chain as its wielder drew closer.

[User] But Subaru didn’t pick up those subtleties as his eyes opened wide. He couldn’t speak. His lips quivered as a whimper came out of his throat. Unintentionally, his fingers grasping the chain let go as he made a small, listless shake of his head, as if rejecting the reality before him. Walking on the grass, stepping over branches, a young girl emerged from the darkness. She was wearing a black, rather short apron dress. She wore a white lace hairpiece. She gripped a handle chained to the iron ball thoroughly unsuited to her small stature. Her blue hair rustled in the wind as she made a familiar tilt of her head, a neutral look on her face.

[Assistant] “…You’re kidding, right, Rem?” One of the girls Subaru had meant to protect was wielding the fiendish iron ball before him. Instantly, the back of Subaru’s mind was completely filled with white noise. He desperately wanted to deny the sight before his eyes, but he could think of nothing that would let him.


[User] —Subaru’s thoughts were white, pure white, with nothing in them whatsoever. His breathing stopped. His heart seemed to stand still, like it had forgotten to keep beating. What freed Subaru from that state was the cold feel of the drop of sweat rolling down the skin of his forehead. —This is bad. Bad bad bad bad bad bad. His empty thoughts became filled over and over with violent unease and panic. No rational thoughts came. Was this truly Rem before his eyes? Was this truly the Rem Subaru knew, her polite words sliding in like daggers, punctual to the point of obsession, doting on her impudent sister, harboring a serious inferiority complex? With Subaru having lost his earlier will to fight, Rem looked at him as she ran her free hand through her hair.

[Assistant] "If you do not resist, I can grant you a quick end?"

[User] "—You really think I’m gonna say yes? That’s like telling me to eat shit."


[User] “—! !” He wasn’t aware of the exact moment he returned to consciousness. The sound of heavy rain kept ringing in his ears. His vision flickered between red and white. The world was bent and warped. Unable to feel his arms or legs, he made a thick, anguished scream as if someone were wringing his intestines like wet laundry. He twisted his body and leapt, every movable part of his entire body unleashing fierce incomprehension. —He didn’t know what was going on. The burning pain of his leg being severed and the scars of his body being lashed all over by the chain were…gone. He’d lost his blood. He’d lost his life. He’d died. He hadn’t wanted to die. He hated the pain, the suffering, the sadness, the fear, all of it. He wanted to push it all away. Everything he could see, everything he could touch, everything he could feel.

[Assistant] “—!” He heard something. He heard someone’s voice. He heard a voice, like someone was desperately trying to calm a wild beast. The meaning didn’t get through. He didn’t understand the meaning. He didn’t want to understand the meaning. It was useless to listen. Listening would only get him hurt. Listening wouldn’t change a thing. Yet as he rejected all, color returned to the world, as did sound, as did shape. The senses of his entire disheveled body told him, correctly, that blood was reaching his limbs. His flailing hand hit something, breaking fingernails and ripping the back of his hand, making it bleed. The sharp pain jabbed into his brain, somewhat lessening the force of his scream. Then he realized it. Someone had grabbed and wrapped up his hurting arms. He felt something similar on his legs. Something was covering him, making him unable to move either leg. Right above him, his returning vision saw the familiar white ceiling he’d seen several times over now. He realized he was lying faceup on the soft bed. He finally breathed out, strength draining from his stiffened body, when…

[User] "Dear Guest, Dear Guest. Have you finally calmed down?”

[Assistant] "Dear Guest, Dear Guest. Have you finally stopped flailing?”

[User] The instant his ears heard the two familiar voices, Subaru remembered to scream.


[User] His sense of loss, of despair, of loneliness, gouged Subaru just as deeply as the bonds formed over the days before. There was no way he could recover. He didn’t have the strength to recover.

[Assistant] Emilia, sitting on the bed beside Subaru, smiled at him as she patted his injured right hand. "—All right, done. I think it’s nicely patched up, but you mustn’t thrash around like that, okay?"


[User] At that moment, Subaru and Emilia were the only two people in the room. The two maids who had been present when Subaru awoke retreated in the face of Subaru’s disgraceful behavior right after waking, leaving things to Emilia.

[Assistant] "Ram and Rem were really so worried about you."

[User] Subaru reflexively raised his face at the mention of two names he didn’t want to hear.

[Assistant] Subaru’s reaction put a bit of surprise on Emilia’s face, but she instantly brushed it off with a small shake of her head. "They’re feeling unusually down, thinking they may have offended you somehow. How about you say something to them next time you see them?"

[User] "Offended, huh? No, they didn’t do anything… There’s nothing between those people and me."

[Assistant] Emilia’s feminine eyebrows softly grimaced at the insensitive tone of his voice.

[User] Instead, what came out was a question without the slightest hint of sarcasm. "Hey, Emilia, do you…think I’m a bother?"

[Assistant] Emilia raised a finger and seemed to speak rapid-fire to hold Subaru in check. "How could I think you’re a bother? You saved my life, Subaru. What are you supposed to do if someone you owe a debt to just gets up and leaves? It’d really put me in a bind."

[User] Subaru listened in silence, belatedly realizing that he was staring intently at every detail of Emilia’s face and actions. "Whoa, I was seriously…" He was disheartened that it was he who’d given Emilia such a look of distrust. Emilia had unexpectedly hit the nail on the head, had she not? To stop thinking of your benefactor as your benefactor was the lowest thing you could do. Emilia was the only oasis Subaru had in an uncertain world. Subaru, having lost everything else he’d set his heart upon, had nowhere else to turn.

[Assistant] "—" He suddenly had a small thought. Perhaps it was to Emilia that he should reveal the truth of the Return by Death? "That’s right…" Now that he thought about it, Subaru had tried to change his dead-end reality completely on his own so far. But all he’d achieved was a dead-end fate, with both the future and the past blocked off. Breaking through that stalemate required fundamental change. Maybe the answer was to form a bond of trust with a third party, someone he could rely on?

[User] "—Emilia, there’s something I want to tell you." The clouds seemed to lift as Subaru’s feelings of hesitation and unease parted inside him.


[User] Hearing the tone of Subaru’s voice fall like that, Emilia sat back down in a chair, looking at Subaru with a face tense with concern.

[Assistant] Watching himself reflected in her violet eyes, Subaru thought of how he should begin this. How should he talk about Return by Death? Perhaps Subaru ought to first find out if it was something that happened to other people of that world, too? It was a pretty funny story, really. The chances were high she’d think it was a big joke. But Emilia would listen to Subaru tell it, wouldn’t she? Then and there, that was the hope that kept Subaru going. —He’d talk to her about Return by Death. And that he hoped she would lend him her strength. Subaru, well aware that here he was, already receiving her gratitude and yet making another request, opened his mouth. They’d change this extremely confusing situation. They’d fight against Fate and win…together. —Or so he thought.

[User] "Emilia. I c—" He began his confession.

[Assistant] The moment the thought formed, it came.

[User] Discomfort. Something’s wrong, Subaru’s mind told him. What’s wrong, he wondered back, but he immediately noticed why. Sound. Sound was gone. There was no sound anywhere. His own heartbeat. Emilia’s breaths. The sounds of morning filtering through the window. All had completely vanished from the world. And that was but the prelude for what was to come.


[User] And then, suddenly, it came. A black cloud. Subaru, unable to blink, suddenly saw it fill his vision. In a world where nothing could move, only the cloud was still in motion. The cloud wriggled and changed shape. Its mass was such that it could be held in the palms of one’s hands. Bit by bit, the contours of the cloud took form, and it finished changing shape.

[Assistant] Subaru saw something like a black palm. It had five fingers. It didn’t reach to an elbow, but he could definitely make out a forearm. The black fingers shifted. The gentle movements of what clearly had the shape of a hand swam through the air. Subaru’s mind gasped when he saw where it was headed. The black fingers slowly reached to Subaru’s chest…and seemed to go right in. Subaru felt the feeling straight to his soul. The feeling of the fingers brushing against his internal organs, stroking his rib cage… Discomfort and unease gripped Subaru. The black cloud wouldn’t stop moving.


[User] It was as if it hadn’t found what it was looking for and had to look deeper, deeper into Subaru’s chest.

[Assistant] "Hey, hold on here." His voice wouldn’t come out. His body couldn’t resist.

[User] Subaru’s mind let out a terrified yelp. "This isn’t funny." Subaru was shaken beyond what he could call his innards, to the very core of his being.

[Assistant] Could anyone put into words why having your internal organs damaged hurt? The question is pointless. No one needs to think about it. In that instant, Subaru felt no need to put into words what that excruciating pain felt like. It was really simple. Having his heart mercilessly squeezed felt like his very soul was being crushed. He couldn’t scream. He couldn’t writhe from the pain.


[User] "There’s a traveling bard in the village?" A look of astonishment crossed Subaru Natsuki’s face as he repeated the unexpected word. He turned around, cleaning rag in hand, seeming rather awkward in the butler’s uniform he was wearing today (as per usual). The awkward movements he made while washing the window could be chalked up to his lingering injuries from the day before.

[Assistant] "That’s right—a bard! I overheard Ram talking about it when she came back from the village earlier. Have you ever seen a bard, Subaru?"

[User] The girl who answered Subaru had a charming, silvery voice and long, silvery hair.

[Assistant] “E M T (Emilia-tan’s a Major Treasure).”

[User] "Huh? Did you say something?"

[Assistant] The confused girl’s name was Emilia, Subaru’s savior and his heart’s desire. He laughed at the innocent way she cocked her head and said, “Nah, I haven’t seen a bard myself…but you look super excited, Emilia-tan.”

[User] "I don’t look excited—I am excited. Bards sing, dance, and tell stories, don’t they? So this bard probably knows all sorts of stories… Hey, Subaru?" Emilia clasped her hands together and gazed hopefully at Subaru.

[Assistant] “Okay, I hear you. I’ll wrap things up here and ask permission to go.”

[User] "Sorry to bother you for such a selfish reason."

[Assistant] “Nah, it’s all good. I doubt anyone expects a lump on the mend like me to do much cleaning anyway, so our date takes priority.”

[User] "Ah, that’s right. Since we’ll be going out somewhere together…I suppose this would be considered a date." With a glance at Emilia—who was blissfully unaware of the sinful beauty of her smile—Subaru dropped his cleaning rag back in a bucket of water and left the room. Through the windows in the hallway, he could see Earlham Village in the distance.


[User] “And now, lend me your ears, and I’ll sing you a song—‘The Draffin Betrayed by the Setting Sun.’” A dark, tragic melody fell on the village square like early summer rain. In the center of the square, atop a crude stage of stacked wooden boards, stood a performer strumming a stringed instrument that resembled a guitar or a ukulele. The symmetrical instrument warbled with a lively timbre, but the nearly palpable melancholy in the air was a testament to the musician’s technique.

[Assistant] “If life must be so painful, then I would rather die. But I cannot die. I’m not allowed to die…”

[User] Singing and playing an instrument, the bard’s posture and gestures gave the performance an incredible sense of realism, immersing her listeners in the story.

[Assistant] “Bubbles bursting from his lungs, he sinks to the quiet river floor. O, Draffin. O, O, Draffin…” As Draffin surrendered to his darkest impulse and reached the bottom of the river, the helpless wind and flowers mourned his tragic death. And then the curtain fell—

[User] “Geez, could you pick a more depressing song?!” Subaru butted in with a one-liner out of sheer frustration.

[Assistant] “Eep!” The Bard of Bad Ends gave a start—and the story world encapsulating the square came crashing down. The villagers snapped back to their senses and exchanged glances.

[User] “Oh! Um…”

[Assistant] “Yikes, why’m I crying?”

[User] “Oh dear, the floodgates open so easily with age…”

[Assistant] “Draffin, you’re just like me!”

[User] “That bard girl is really cute!” With tears in their eyes, everyone in the crowd started sharing their thoughts on the performance. And after they got that off their chests, they turned to look at the back row, where Subaru was trying to sneak out—

[Assistant] “Thanks for killing the mood, Subaru!” —and they yelled so angrily that Subaru also jumped in surprise.


[User] Her vibrant, curious eyes and her yellow hair matched her fiery personality. Her pigtails, thin cloak, and dancer’s garb were all adorned with decorations made from tree nuts and animal bones. She was short in stature, but her limbs were long, and her skin was tan and healthy. Everything about her exuded wanderer. "Well, pleased to meet you."

[Assistant] "I’m Subaru Natsuki, an uproarious, baroque handyman. I am the jack-of-all-chores making waves at that manor you see beyond yonder road.”

[User] "Upper or he us…? Broke handyman…? Er—I mean, hello! Yes, it is very nice to meet you.” Even with a stranger, Subaru steamrolled the conversation. His social graces were distinctly ungracious. Liliana forced her dubious frown beneath a fake smile, desperately trying not to offend the people who had just introduced themselves as associates of the local lord. But Liliana’s guard was quickly shattered.

[Assistant] "That song you just sang was really good! Even now, I feel like I might cry…”

[User] Overcome with emotion, Emilia grabbed Liliana’s hand and gushed.

[Assistant] “Ohh, thank you! It is an honor to have such an attentive listener! I am still far from perfect, but hearing such praise is more than enough to— Hweh? !” Liliana returned Emilia’s enthusiasm with a smile at first…but when the bard got a good look at her admirer, her jaw dropped, and she froze. Subaru’s party looked at her with surprise as Liliana murmured, her eyes still in a daze.

[User] “A-are you a goddess…?”

[Assistant] “Er—pardon?”

[User] “I—I mean—I never seen such a girl as purty as you! My oh my! That hair, that skin—how did ya get ’em like that?! You even human? !” She bounced in a circle around Emilia, fawning over her beauty. The extreme reaction paralyzed Emilia for a moment, but Subaru couldn’t agree with Liliana’s assessment more. Emilia was a little too oblivious of her otherworldly beauty (though that was part of her charm). Then Liliana abruptly stopped, grabbed her instrument, and bowed.

[Assistant] “The muse has spoken! I present to you my new song—‘Ohhh My Goddess.’” Liliana took a quiet breath before her feet began stomping a quiet rhythm. Then her delicate fingertips strummed a new melody. “Deeply bewitching are you, shining like a treasure’s gentle hue, your gaze—a cavern of violet gemstones twinkling through. Your silvery hair, flowing like tears of the moon in pain. Your delicate face, carved by an artisan’s hand unrestrained. Your skin, white like fresh fallen snow, knows not the feel of a trampling boot. Pointed and long, your ears… Your ears… Your ears—?”

[User] “!” Liliana’s flowing song abruptly stopped. Subaru watched as her golden eyes filled with doubt, then realization, then shock. She quickly connected the dots in her own lyrics.

[Assistant] “Silvery hair and pointed ears… You…youse the Witch of Jealousy!”

[User] Subaru clamped a hand on Liliana’s mouth.

[Assistant] “Okay, cut! That was a nice song, but we have reason to believe it’s violated copyright!"


[User] "—Subaru."

[Assistant] Emilia shot a frown at Subaru, who was currently restraining Liliana with a joint lock. "I appreciate your concern, Subaru, but you should know it’s wrong to attack a girl like that! Bad Subaru!"

[User] "What am I, a dog…? I mean, don’t be like this, Emilia-tan."

[Assistant] "It’s okay, Subaru. Trying to hide the truth isn’t the answer." Emilia was bold and firm, but the same couldn’t be said for Subaru. Seeing her become the victim of undeserved condemnation made his heart ache.

[User] Reluctantly, he released the girl’s wrists and elbows, then freed her shoulders and arms.

[Assistant] "Pfah! My arms! My arms! Please don’t break my moneymakers! I’s just a young maiden with soft silky skin—hands off, chore boy!"

[User] "I was just using everything in my power to protect those important to me—that’s the kind of man I want to be. Also, sorry to inform you, missy, but of all the ‘soft silky skin’ I’ve encountered, yours comes nearly dead last."

[Assistant] "Humphie! First, you immobilize me, then you wound my delicate heart! Butbutbut!" Though resentful of Subaru’s criticisms, Liliana danced before Emilia with the insolence of a rat.

[User] Emilia’s expression stiffened under the tiny girl’s stare.

[Assistant] "Not only are you beautiful, but you’re also dignified at your core. You made my heart go thwomp!"

[User] "Er, oh. Okay—did I?"

[Assistant] "Yes, milady! I must humbly apologize for my boorish impertinence earlier. If your chore boy hadn’t stopped me, my family would disown me for such outrageous behavior!"

[User] "Oh, I see now. You’re a disaster-bard!"

[Assistant] Subaru was astonished by her impulsively brazen admission of guilt.

[User] Liliana just cheerfully began to strum her instrument. "I may not look it, but my senses are razor-sharp. If the muse of inspiration flashes before my eyes, then impatience simply eats away at me! Which is why the racial reasons that forbade me to speak openly of Lady Emilia’s beauty and courage compounded into a jumbled soup of crazy!"

[Assistant] "Dang, you’re like a breath of fresh air. Don’t see your type much in this world."


[User] Her sincerity and voice were to thank for that. The bard’s beautiful voice tickled hearts and wormed inside her listeners in a way that was surely innate. It dawned on Subaru that performing was indeed her calling.

[Assistant] “Either that, or her calling is selling duvets and water purifiers to old people." Subaru muttered in awe.

[User] “What—what—what? Just going off vibes here, but I feel like I was just insulted!” Liliana responded dramatically

[Assistant] Subaru smoothly ignored it.

[User] “I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t think I’m that beautiful.” Emilia smiled at the freewheeling girl

[Assistant] “Hey! Hey! Just now? A feeling I cannot abide as a woman exploded inside me! The muse has spoken. I present you with my new song—‘Ohhh My Damn Goddess.’”

[User] “Shut up! But, Emilia-tan, I really do think you need to do something about that mentality of yours!”

[Assistant] With Subaru and Liliana both disagreeing wholeheartedly, all Emilia could do was tilt her head down awkwardly, a look of disbelief on her face.


[User] Looking back, the first morning Subaru was invited to the dining hall for breakfast, he was plagued with anxiety and nervousness. He couldn’t help but think about it as he sipped his tea in the drawing room at Roswaal Manor. His thoughts on the flavor were the same as always—overbrewed and unpleasant.

[Assistant] “What’s wrong, Subaru? You’re making a really peculiar face.” As Subaru dwelled on bitter memories and strong tea, Emilia called out to him.

[User] “I was just reminiscing a little. You remember how I used to be in my shell when I first came to this manor?”

[Assistant] “Were you? But, Subaru, weren’t you boldly leering your first morning here just as you are now?”

[User] “‘Leering’? That makes me sound insanely suspicious!” Their wildly different takes on the matter made Subaru’s jaw drop.

[Assistant] “Just kidding. You looked like you were deep in thought, so I wanted to tease you a little.” When Emilia saw Subaru scratch his cheek anxiously, she put a finger to her lip

[User] “You for real? Well, that’s a serious case of E M A (Emilia-tan’s a Major Airhead)!”

[Assistant] “Yeah, yeah. And you too, Liliana. You really don’t need to be so nervous.”

[User] Forgetting her cheerfulness back at the village, the bard jolted up, her face pale, as she squeaked, “Okay.” Subaru’s flippant reply went unheeded as Emilia was more focused on reassuring Liliana, who was shrinking into a little ball across from her.

[Assistant] “Whoa, somebody’s freaking out. What happened to all that confidence?”

[User] “Y-you might think different, but of course I’m nervous. A c-country bumpkin like me suddenly got whisked away to the lord’s manor…the manor of a marquis to boot… Wh-what if I screw up…?”

[Assistant] “They’ll wipe out your whole family line and won’t stop there—even the land they live on won’t be spared. Scorched earth."


[User] "A dog’s death.” Subaru drew a thumb across his throat to drive the point home.

[Assistant] Liliana looked like she was going to be sick.

[User] Emilia immediately slapped Subaru’s knee. “Subaru, that’s enough!” Emilia scolded, her cheeks puffed.

[Assistant] “Sorry, my bad. Didn’t think she’d take the joke that badly,” Subaru sheepishly apologized. Still, Subaru was secretly satisfied to see the lost-kitty look in Liliana’s eyes considering everything she’d put him through in the village square.


[User] “But hey, did you see the sour look on Ram’s face when she met us? It felt like we were parasites, bringing a big bag of pestilence with us.”

[Assistant] “Eep! So I really am unwelcome… Er, I’d better escape while I still can…!”

[User] “Liliana, it’s all right. Subaru, stop making her uncomfortable. Don’t you feel sorry for her?”

[Assistant] “I wasn’t trying to freak her out; I’m just telling her the facts. Chances are Ram actually is unhappy that she has more work to do now.”

[User] “There’s no telling what terrible reviews Roswaal is hearing about Liliana this very moment. For all we know, he thinks a towering giant with a raspy voice is here for an audience.”


[Assistant] “Don’t worry, my sister is not that unfair. She would not prioritize her feelings when seeking Master Roswaal’s opinion.” Rem carries a steaming teapot, gracefully setting down a selection of sweets and refilling empty teacups.

[User] Subaru held out his cup, bringing it closer to Rem and the waiting teapot. “Sweets are one thing, but I always thought of pouring tea as Ram’s job.”

[Assistant] “Well, she has been quite busy lately. Besides…I wish to prepare the tea when you drink it, Subaru. Your Rem can fill the tea with her feelings…and other things.” Her bold declaration made Subaru flinch.


[User] “For the love of all that’s holy, please stick with tea leaves and hot water!” Rem pouted slightly and muttered, “If you insist.”

[Assistant] Ever since the trouble with the demon beasts had ended, Rem’s attitude toward Subaru had improved dramatically. He appreciated her newfound affection, but it also deeply confused his fragile boyish heart. Neither he nor anyone around him realized this was the typical reaction of a boy who had never been popular with the ladies. "Well, we supposedly invited her for some tasty snacks and tea. Technically, we made good on that promise.”

[User] “Oh please, Subaru… If you tell me my tea and sweets are tasty and what a pretty maid I am—I’m blushing.” Rem protested, pressing her hands to rosy cheeks.

[Assistant] “Everything you said is true, but did you just sneak in an extra compliment there?” Subaru couldn’t resist pointing that out.

[User] With a shy giggle, Rem quietly said, “Also…I heard she was an ordinary bard. Why did you bring her here?”

[Assistant] Subaru whispered back, “Ohhh, right. Emilia-tan took a liking to her, and— Well, actually, it’s a bit complicated. I dunno how she did it, but she saw through Emilia-tan’s Block Identification.”

[User] Rem’s eyes narrowed slightly when she heard this. Block Identification was a spell woven into the robe Emilia wore in public to hide her half-elf features. Without Emilia’s express permission or the ability to overcome the magic cast on the robe, nobody should have been able to tell who Emilia was. “You say she saw through it, but…Master Roswaal wove that spell in himself. It’s hard to believe anybody could do such a thing.”

[Assistant] “Right? That’s why we had her come here with us. We couldn’t just leave her there.” They had used Ram’s tea and Rem’s sweets as a pretense for taking her to the manor. Liliana had been reluctant, but she’d obediently taken the bait when it was offered. On a certain level, Subaru was terribly concerned for the girl’s future if she was always this gullible. In any case, this wasn’t a matter they could ignore, so Subaru and the others brought the bard back to the manor.

[User] “I understand.” Rem said. "In other words, we should silence her before she has the chance to say anything, yes?”

[Assistant] “You don’t understand crap. Look, phrases like ‘we should silence her’ sound way too real coming from you!”

[User] “Oh please, Subaru, your Rem would never stoop so low.” Rem jokingly stuck out her tongue…but prior circumstances meant this wasn’t at all convincing. (To be fair, those prior circumstances only existed in a fragment of Subaru’s memory.)

[Assistant] “Man, your sweets are like a miracle drug, Rem.” No matter how stiff and nervous she’d been initially, the moment Liliana helped herself to one of the fragrant baked treats, there was no room in her mind for anything else. Rem was undeniably skilled at housework, but her true gift was baking. "Lemme have a taste… Oh yeah.


[User] "These are awesome, Rem.”

[Assistant] “Thank you so much, Subaru! I poured my heart and soul into these snacks… I gave it my all…so that I would be at peace if I could never bake ever again.”

[User] “It’s just baking. Do you treat it like a fight to the death every time? !”

[Assistant] As Subaru savored Rem’s magnum opus, he shuddered a little when she practically declared it a matter of life and death.

[User] Liliana leaned back into the sofa’s soft embrace, settling into a comfortable position and rubbing her belly. “Mmm… Zzzzz…”

[Assistant] “Okay, I like to think of myself as a hospitable guy, but not enough to let you go to sleep on me!”

[User] “Ah! I’m not asleep! Not asleep, I swear! I was only pretending to sleep, to lure the assassins targeting me to come out of hiding so I can take them out in one fell swoop!”

[Assistant] “…What?! Oh no! Is somebody trying to kill you…?”

[User] “Now look at what you’ve done! You’ve tricked our sheltered angel!” A jumble of excuses fell out of Liliana’s mouth, and Emilia, trusting as she was, took them at face value. As Liliana wiped a string of drool from the corner of her mouth, Subaru mused that perhaps she was a girl of extremes, someone who could only respond with zero or a hundred. A sigh escaped him as he realized she wasn’t going to be an easy person to watch over.

[Assistant] “I hear you are a bard.” As Rem looked at Liliana’s instrument leaning against the sofa—her lyulyre—

[User] the performer grabbed her instrument, hugged it close, and stammered nervously, “Y-yes! Apologies, I’m but a reckless dream-chaser who seeks to challenge the world with a single string of my lyulyre!”

[Assistant] “You really will grovel for anyone who seems like they’re in charge, won’t you? !”

[User] Liliana’s submissive attitude was almost refreshing, but Rem ignored this and clapped her hands. The sparkle in her light-blue eyes was much like Emilia’s the first time she heard Liliana sing. “Then I suppose you know several famous stories, yes?”

[Assistant] “! Yes…yes! I most certainly do!” Liliana’s eyes blazed as she strummed her lyulyre. “I set out on my own over a decade ago, and this lyulyre is how I make my living. With it, I drive people mad with passion, drag them into vortexes of chaos, and bring them to tears in the streets—that’s my specialty!”

[User] “Whoa, hold up! You’ve been at this on your own for over a decade? How old are you? !”

[Assistant] “I’m twenty-one this year. Why?”

[User] “Twenty-one? With those looks and that brain of yours? !” She had a baby face and was rather lacking in the chest, butt, and hips department. Subaru thought it was rather embarrassing to wear such revealing clothes when there wasn’t much to show off, but now that he knew her age, he felt even worse for her. Subaru sighed.


[User] “She’s basically a legal Lolita, but let’s put a pin in that for now… Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen a more outrageous example…”

[Assistant] “Oh, shut up! Just so you know, I’m quite popular among certain crowds. But more importantly!” After pushing past Subaru (who was somewhere between sympathetic and awestruck), Liliana returned Rem’s eager gaze. Her lyulyre firmly in hand, she raised one foot onto the sofa and struck a pose. “Now! Let me make your wishes come true. What would you like? Which famous tale do you fancy? If, for example, you seek a timeless masterpiece, then how about the ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’?!”

[User] “Now that’s an intimidating song title…”

[Assistant] “How dare you! The ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’ is a modern masterpiece sung not only in Lugunica, but other nations as well! The romance of the awkward yet devoted warrior has made many a fair maiden weak in the knees, yearning to be loved in the same way!”

[User] “R-really…?”

[Assistant] “Why, yes, of course! Especially in the very last verse, when the devil crosses swords with none other than his beloved and the ensuing battle bewitches all who behold it—I cannot sing that part without crying!”

[User] “That’s not romance—that’s murder!” The synopsis made it sound like a bloodbath. The enemies-to-lovers trope wasn’t unheard of in Subaru’s former world, but he wasn’t very familiar with stuff like Love of Kill. (It was just a title that came to mind and not much beyond that.)

[Assistant] “What are you talking about, Subaru?” Rem protested. “The ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’ is one of Lugunica’s most famous songs. I’ve heard it quite a few times myself.”

[User] “For real?! You serious?! Emilia-tan, don’t tell me it made you weak in the knees, too?”

[Assistant] “Er—I’m sorry, but I don’t know much about this subject, so I probably can’t give you the answer you want.”

[User] “No, no, that’s the perfect answer! That’s exactly what I hoped you’d say, Emilia-tan!” If anything, this only convinced Subaru that Rem’s tastes were shockingly unconventional. While the trio clamored, Liliana appeared to be searching through her mental songbook.

[Assistant] “I can also perform other songs, like ‘Volakia’s Blue Lightning,’ ‘Monument on Sword Hill,’ and more. And don’t forget the anthem of Kararagi’s founding father that’s become synonymous with hitting it big time—‘Hoshin of the Wasteland.’”

[User] “Wow, eclectic. Still, aren’t a lot of them about great historical figures? Or is that just the sort of song you like to add to your collection?”

[Assistant] “It’s partly a matter of personal taste, true, but the masses also love heroic epics and biographies of great historical figures. Everyone yearns for a spectacle. I just take it a step further and paint these tales with music.” Her cheeks dyed pink with shyness, Liliana confessed a pillar of her mission to the room.


[User] She seemed to expect Subaru to laugh it off, but he shook his head and said, “That’s a noble calling, especially at your age— Wait, I just remembered. You’re twenty-one.”

[Assistant] “This is going to sound harsh, but why does a chore boy like you have a problem with my age? If you keep badgering me, I’ll take you to court.”

[User] “Does this world even have that kind of court…?” Ignorant of the ways of this world, Subaru did not know the answer to his question.

[Assistant] “So if I’m hearing you correctly, miss—your mission is to travel the world and share songs about famous heroes from history?”

[User] “Noooo, it’s so much more than that. Of course, I do consider sharing songs to be my sacred task, but I have a more personal goal. And that’s…” But before she could elaborate, the bard was cut short.

[Assistant] There was a knock at the door. It opened to reveal a maid who politely bowed her head. She was the spitting image of Rem, except with pink hair and light-red eyes. The maid—Ram—looked up and graciously said, “Apologies for the wait. Master Roswaal is ready to see his guest.”


[User] “’Tis I! Roswaal L Mathers, marquis of the Kingdom of Lugunica and master of this fiiine house!”

[Assistant] “……” As Liliana beheld the man sitting across from her introducing himself, she lost her voice and calcified into a statue.

[User] Subaru shot a sympathetic glance her way. He couldn’t blame her for feeling intimidated—a marquis was one of the higher-ranking nobles, and they had introduced her to one without warning. It would have already been a nerve-racking situation, but all the more so with this marquis— “I doubt she expected she was going to meet an absolute weirdo in clown makeup.”

[Assistant] “Barusu—such insolence against Master Roswaal shall not be tolerated. We’ll tighten the screws on you.”

[User] “The fact that you knew I was talking about Rozchi makes you just as guilty as me. Also, tighten the screws on what exactly?”

[Assistant] “What, indeed…?” Any pretense of politeness vanished when Ram shot Subaru a chilling glare.

[User] “Oooh, yeees. The surprised look on a visitor’s face the first time they see me is always my greatest joy. Subaru’s reactions aren’t baaad, either, but this sort of reaction really hits the spot. Wouldn’t you say, Subaru?” Roswaal leisurely reclined on the leather sofa beside her and crossed his legs.

[Assistant] “Could you not drag me into this? Unlike you, toying with people isn’t my idea of a good time.


[User] "Only a small part of my personality is that twisted.” The truth was Subaru really did take a particular satisfaction in rubbing people the wrong way. To an outside observer, Subaru was little different from Roswaal, but both thought they were better than the other. They were a lost cause.

[Assistant] “I am t-terribly and frightfully delighted to be g-granted an audience with you, my lord. I am b-but a lowly bard, Liliana. I hope that my visit finds you in high spirits.”

[User] “Oh-ho. Well said, my dear. To speak so beautifully under such emotional strain—now I know I agreed to see you for goooood reason. Fear not, my dear. My magnanimous nature is weeeell-known around these parts.” Though Roswaal’s speech was quite self-congratulatory, every word of it was true. If he was a run-of-the-mill short-tempered evil nobleman, Subaru’s head would have said good-bye to his shoulders upon their very first meeting.

[Assistant] “We heard there was a bard in the village, so Subaru and I went to see her. She told us she was searching for unique stories, and we thought you might be able to help her.”

[User] “Ahaaa, now I see. Well, if you have such high hopes for her, Emilia, then I suppose it would behooooove me to share a little of my powers that I usually keep hidden.” With a light chuckle, Roswaal leaned back. The sofa creaked beneath him as he folded his arms and closed his eyes in thought. After a few moments, he opened his one yellow eye and stared at Liliana. Under his bewitching gaze, the bard shivered. “Oooh, no need to be frightened, my dear. I aaam your friend. Since Emilia has decided to make you a friend, I simply must make eeevery effort to do the same!”

[Assistant] “Hwokay. Tha…tha-tha-thank you muchly.”

[User] “But my goodness, a bard. A bard… What impeeeeeccable timing!” As Liliana cowered in fear, Roswaal’s smile deepened.

[Assistant] Subaru had a bad feeling about the marquis’s red-lipped smile. He had to be scheming something.

[User] “Liliana—that’s your name, riiiight? Well, Liliana, your wish—I have the power to make it come true. However, I would appreciate a liiiiitle more information before I comply.”

[Assistant] “M-more information, my lord? I don’t know where to begin…”

[User] “Yes, let me see… What is the aim of your quest? Frankly, thaaaat is what I wish to know.” When she heard Roswaal’s voice deepen, Liliana’s tense expression changed dramatically. She closed her eyes in thought for a moment, then when her eyes reopened, they looked directly into Roswaal’s as she answered,

[Assistant] “—I travel the world in search of the newest legends.” It didn’t matter that she was talking to one of the most powerful people in the kingdom. The determined light in Liliana’s eyes never wavered.

[User] The words newest legends reverberated in Subaru’s heart. He was, after all, a man. It was obvious those powerful words would set his heart ablaze.

[Assistant] “The newest legends…,” Emilia murmured.


[User] “That is why I travel—to find these newest legends so I can sing about them.” There was a devilish tone in Liliana’s voice. A devilishness that seeped into the hearts of anyone who heard it. Liliana nodded quietly at Emilia, noticing how hard it had struck her. Then she picked up her instrument and strummed it.

[Assistant] “We bards make a living from our songs. Our songs sink deep into the hearts of the masses, etching true stories of the past—of history—onto their souls. Songs with a long history hold a power in them—a power that remains in this world long after their songwriters die.” Liliana continued to explain in a clear voice.

[User] “My people are unable to leave anything tangible behind. We don’t build things, and we don’t write. We instinctually resist setting down roots. We wander the earth on our own two feet, singing wherever we arrive, and once our songs touch the hearts of the people who call that place home, we set out in search of a new land. We do this again and again until one day, alone in an empty wasteland, we meet our end, cradling our instruments in our arms. That is who we are.” In her voice, in her words, in her eyes, in her gestures—there was a power. It was the same power that came out in her singing.

[Assistant] “And because we can’t leave anything tangible behind, all that remains of us resides in the hearts of people. That is why we yearn to create art that will stay with our audiences. We want to leave behind proof that we lived, etching our spirits into history. If there is anything I desire, it’s that glory and nothing more.” Though she was not singing, something in her words echoed in Subaru’s soul in a way that rivaled music. Liliana’s perspective on life was clearly defined. Almost tragically so. Nobody in the room could find the words to speak, not even Subaru.


[User] "Aha, iiiiinteresting… So that is why you’re hunting for new legends." He praises her grit and nodded in understanding as a man who had made more tough decisions than anybody else in the room.

[Assistant] Acknowledging Roswaal’s nod of approval, Liliana sat up straight and said, “History is a vibrant tapestry as strong as it is long, passed down through generations in people’s hearts. We bards take great pride in devoting our lives to inheriting and preserving these songs. However…if it’s possible, I want to be the first. I want to be the first to perform a new song that will live on forever in people’s hearts. I want to share the latest and most dazzling historic moments this world has to offer with my throat, my tongue, my song—that is my wish.”

[User] "……Oh.”

[Assistant] "Your quest is a nooooble one. But exactly what kind of folklore do you seek? Chasing after something intangible is like trying to catch a cloud. Unless your intangible yearning has a tangible shape within your heart, you maaaay lose sight of your true desire."

[User] "What I truly desire, if possible…is to write a hero’s epic."

[Assistant] "A hero’s epic…”

[User] Emilia dazed murmur.

[Assistant] The meaning behind their three reactions and the distinct ring of hero’s epic tantalized Subaru.

[User] "Then I suppose that means you wish to hear new heroic tales, Liliana?"

[Assistant] "I know that’s no easy task…a new hero’s tale in this day and age. If you went back several centuries, to when witches ran rampant and the world was overflowing with danger, that was a time for heroes to be born…but now, when the world is mostly at peace, new heroes are hard to come by.”


[User] “…Tantalizing.” It was a quiet murmur, but it reached every ear in the room.

[Assistant] Confusion clouded Subaru’s face. He didn’t understand what could have inspired that kind of reaction.

[User] Paying the boy no heed, Roswaal broke into a smile as his heterochromatic eyes opened wide. "A bard who wishes to discover an unknown hero’s epic has come to our land. Whaaaat other word could express such a fateful encounter other than tantalizing? Oh my, oh my—how utterly taaaaantalizing!"

[Assistant] "Roswaal, please. What are you talking about?" Emilia chided the merry Roswaal. "You’re confusing everyone, Liliana especially. Don’t keep it to yourself—please explain."

[User] "Oh, it’s quite simple, Emilia. I am sure Miss Liliana shall accomplish her dream."

[Assistant] "What?! W-wait, so does that mean you have a new hero in mind?"

[User] "But of course I do. And this new hero has a connection with you, Emilia."

[Assistant] "With me…?" Emilia asked Roswaal blankly.

[User] He gave her a meaningful smile.

[Assistant] That was when Subaru suddenly realized what Roswaal was implying. And if his hunch was right, that meant he knew the new legend Roswaal wanted Liliana to find. "You know of a new hero’s epic, Marquis? Then please, won’t you tell me—? !"

[User] "Oops, I can’t tell you juuuust yet."

[Assistant] "Meep!" Liliana was animated by the prospect of drawing near her goal, but Roswaal mercilessly dashed that hope.

[User] Liliana let out a crushing wail of grief.

[Assistant] "Roswaal!" Emilia glared at the marquis and snapped.

[User] "Don’t be so cross. That’s no way to treat such a pretty face. Besides, I most certainly did not mean to torment Liliana. Do I really seem that villainous?"

[Assistant] "If anything like that does happen, I always suspect you and Subaru first."

[User] "Slander!" Subaru cried.

[Assistant] As a stray round struck Subaru, Emilia waved her hands and frantically stammered, "No, I didn’t mean it like that!"

[User] After Emilia’s clumsy attempt at an apology, the defeated Liliana looked up at Roswaal again and said, "S-so…what must I do to hear your story?"

[Assistant] "This new legend… Well, it’s not exactly something we can speak lightly of. So you must first proooove to us that you are somebody we can trust."

[User] "B-by doing what?! Y-you can’t have my hands, but I’m willing to sacrifice a toe or two as collateral!"

[Assistant] "Whoa, slow down. And cherish your body more, girl." Subaru nipped Liliana’s hardcore proposal in the bud and sighed.

[User] Liliana’s shoulders slumped. The fact that her identity as a wandering bard had become the very obstacle preventing her from fulfilling the reason she was a wandering bard had to be the epitome of irony.


[User] "In aaaany case, we will need some time to pass judgment. A proposition for you—why don’t I permit you to stay here at my manor for a few days? If we can determine whether you are trustworthy in that time frame, then I shall divulge what I know about this new hero’s epic." The phrase a miracle in the eleventh hour was for moments just like this. It’d be perfect if Liliana wanted to put the current state of her heart into words. (Subaru did find it ironic that Roswaal was the one who lit the flame of hope in Liliana’s eyes, since he was the one who had plunged her into the depths of despair to begin with.)

[Assistant] "U-understood, my lord! I am a woman of integrity! If you go to such lengths to offer me an opportunity, then what kind of bard would I be to refuse?! Bring it on, I say, bring it on!" As Subaru watched the girl dance in the palm of Roswaal’s hand, he had a passing thought. Huh, Liliana might’ve missed her calling as a dancer.

[User] "What’s this…? Could it be…I was being toyed with? Is my imagination to blame?" Liliana asked.

[Assistant] "Uh, no. You’re to blame." Subaru quipped.


[User] The two were walking back toward Earlham Village. When Subaru pointed out how ditzy Liliana was...

[Assistant] "Wh-what a horrible thing to say! I don’t think that’s any way to treat a poor maiden who’s devastated by the realization that she’s been deceived… Don’t you agree?!"

[User] "Oh, no, Subaru is always a lovely gentleman."

[Assistant] "How am I supposed to deal with such blind devotion?!" Liliana was nearly in tears after Rem disagreed politely. As Subaru watched her struggle, he sighed, realizing that his days would be quite eventful for some time. Liliana had fallen into Roswaal’s cunning trap and agreed to stay at his manor under surveillance. They were currently on the way back to Earlham Village to gather her things. On the surface, Subaru and Rem were there to help her, but really, they were there to watch over her and make sure she didn’t try to escape. Roswaal had given Subaru strict instructions not to let Liliana out of his sight, and Subaru assumed that Rem was there because he wasn’t reliable. In other words, neither Subaru nor Liliana were trusted. In reality, Subaru was reading too much into things, and Rem was merely there because she had wanted to come.

[User] "But man, Rozchi is so mean sometimes… Not like I don’t get what he’s trying to do here."

[Assistant] "Chore boy, do you have an inkling as to what the marquis is thinking?"

[User] "Roughly, yeah. But for similar reasons, my lips are sealed. That’s the one area where he and I agree. It does piss me off, though."

[Assistant] "Mrrgruff." When she failed to get Subaru to talk, Liliana let out a cry like a mythical beast. Subaru did feel bad for her.


[User] “Look, leaving your mark on history isn’t so easy.”

[Assistant] “As for this hero’s epic you’re searching for, I have no idea how anybody is supposed to find history in the present.”

[User] “Exactly! It’s quite hard. Ideally, I would find a hero who hasn’t made a name for themselves yet, follow them around, and turn their life into a song…but without some way of seeing into the future, that’s never going to happen!”

[Assistant] “B-bu-bu-bu-but there’s no…absolutely no way you can see into the future! Dumbass!” Subaru visibly panicked as the conversation seemed to touch upon his unique ability.

[User] Liliana cast a suspicious glance at Subaru.

[Assistant] Rem intervened, smiling and clapping her hands, "Well, I have great news for you. It turns out I have a lead on this new legend."

[User] "What?! D-do you really…? !" Liliana’s face turned into a warped expression of surprise and joy over the unexpected news.

[Assistant] Rem proudly smiled and pointed to the person beside her. "It’s Subaru."

[User] “Uh—what? !”

[Assistant] “Here is your newest legend. The hero whose name will echo throughout history is Subaru.” Rem hammered her point home by pushing Subaru forward.

[User] Subaru forgot to interject, "Is this a bit?"

[Assistant] “It’s Subaru.” Rem repeated herself again.

[User] Liliana looked back and forth between Rem and Subaru, "The muse has spoken! I present you with my new song—‘The New Legend of the Womanizer.’"

[Assistant] “Shut up!” With a snarl at Liliana (who showed no signs whatsoever of believing Rem), Subaru heaved a loud sigh.

[User] “I was being serious, you know… It’s sad that you don’t believe me.”

[Assistant] Judging by the way Rem’s shoulders fell, she really did look sad.


[User] “No matter how you die, it always hurts the same… It’d sure be nice if I had an easier and more painless way to reload my save point.” His self-doubt ran deep. His ability was always initiated the same way. The trigger was nothing short of death. Not only had he never asked for this power, but it also wasn’t an ability he could welcome with open arms. If he ever met the supernatural being that’d bestowed him with this unwanted gift, he’d sooner punch them in the face than thank them.

[Assistant] "Subaru…" Rem’s voice was low and filled with caution, and her hand had stretched out to bar his path.

[User] He quickly realized why Rem had gotten his attention. “Who the hell are these guys…?” He murmured.


[Assistant] On the path ahead, standing between them and the village, were four silhouettes. They were clearly bad news—all of them were swathed in white cloaks. Their faces were hidden, as were their limbs and the rest of their bodies. It was impossible to tell who they were in those white head coverings, white masks, and white costumes. The strangers were covered from head to toe in white. “Wow, lucky me. And here I thought Roswaal was the only pervert I’d get to see today…” Subaru made a little quip, his eyes racing over his surroundings.

[User] “If you’re lost, check your feet. Ground without any grass is what most people call a road. Incidentally, the lord of this land’s manor is behind us, and past you guys is a small village…”

[Assistant] “Aha. So you aren’t a lost band of travelers asking for directions,” Subaru said provocatively.


[User] As the strangers slinked forward with their partially obscured weapons in hand, Subaru caught his breath. Without warning, all four raised their blades high, ready to strike Subaru and his stupefied party.

[Assistant] "I do not know who you are or where you come from, but I have deemed you hostile." As soon as Rem finished saying that, her fist made contact with the white-hooded face at the front of the pack. With the distinct sound of something hard smashing into flesh, the stranger flew backward and crashed into the ground headfirst. Rem’s victim landed face up, limbs splayed and white mask stained red. The heinous sight made Subaru grit his teeth.


[User] He murmured, “That’s gotta hurt…”

[Assistant] “Huh—?” The white-robed men had just broken their silence with a grunt of disbelief. The way they recoiled after seeing what happened to their battered ally suddenly made them seem very human. Not that it would change what was about to unfold.

[User] “I lost my weapon in the forest the other day, so I’m afraid I shall have to fight barehanded until I find a replacement. Is that all right?” Rem had put it rather adorably, but her misplaced weapon of choice was a demonically gargantuan spiked morning star, and her pale, thin arms belied how lethally she wielded it. There was a beauty in her martial prowess, as she had demonstrated earlier with the devastating punch. As Rem raised her fists menacingly at the men in white, they immediately set into motion.

[Assistant] “Retreat!” The men slinked away with slippery movements just like when they attacked, carrying their unconscious ally on their backs as they beat a hasty retreat.

[User] Rem’s eyes followed them as they disappeared into the trees. She didn’t relax until she could no longer sense their presence. "I was a little nervous. Whenever I meet ruffians like that unarmed, I always fear I will be unable to protect you, Subaru.”

[Assistant] “For someone who was nervous, that was a pretty sick straight right.”

[User] “Oh, Subaru, you’re making me blush.” After nodding at Rem, whose hands were pressed to her pink cheeks, Subaru looked at the trees where the white-robed men had run off to. They didn’t look like typical bandits to him. "What’s your theory? Were they here to hinder Emilia’s claim to the throne?”

[Assistant] “That is one possibility. Master Roswaal is also a man who has many enemies. While this sort of incident isn’t exactly frequent, it does happen.”

[User] “Are you shitting me? Way to make a guy question the safety of his workplace. Also, one more thing…” Rem had casually said something quite concerning, but Subaru’s focus was somewhere else. He glared over at the girl who had remained silent this whole time and was already in the process of sneaking off. Grabbing her shoulders from behind, Subaru forced the kindest smile he could muster onto his face and said, "And where do you think you’re running off to, Liliana?”

[Assistant] “Eep! I’m sorry please forgive me I’ll apologize just please stop sneering at me like that you’re scaring me!”

[User] “I’m not sneering! I’m smiling to relieve tension. See?”

[Assistant] “Eep!” Liliana only cowered more at the sight of Subaru’s giant smile.

[User] Subaru was shocked by her reaction, but Rem pulled Liliana away from him and patted her back as if she were soothing a whimpering puppy. “There, there, Subaru is nothing to fear. His eyes are just lovelier than the average person’s.”

[Assistant] “Th-that’s a rather subjective opinion…but I’m okay now. I’ve calmed down. Yes.”

[User] “Okay, I feel weird for a buttload of reasons…but whatever. Anyway, why’d you try to bail on us?


[User] "Maybe I’m being paranoid, but are you…?”

[Assistant] Are you in league with those white-robed dudes and your real goal is to stop Emilia’s bid for the crown? Subaru had suspected that might be why she had approached them. But before he could voice his question, Liliana fell to her knees on the spot.

[User] “I’m sho shorry! Butbutbut I didn’t do nothin’ wrong! Those guys have just been chasing me forever…so I thought, Gee, it’d be nice to put a stop to that…then I started to think, Gee, maybe I could ask the people at that marquis’s manor for help, then one thing led to another and—!”

[Assistant] Subaru’s eyes went blank as he watched Liliana prostrate herself and beg for forgiveness. Based on her sheer desperation, he decided it was safe to assume she wasn’t their enemy. “So that excuse you gave about being targeted by assassins during that nap—that wasn’t a lie? !” A much more substantial problem had just surfaced. All Subaru could do was clutch his head and groan.

[User] “The gist of it is, Liliana is being chased by some mysterious gang.” Subaru flipped through the report as he sank into the sofa. They were back in the study at Roswaal Manor. In the room were four people total, including Subaru. He gestured toward Rem, who was sitting beside him.

[Assistant] “To be honest, having Rem there saved us. I hate saying this, but if it was just me and Liliana, we’d be dead.”

[User] “And I am glad I was with you, too.”

[Assistant] “Though, I could have been more helpful if I’d had my morning star with me.”

[User] “If you did, those guys would be forest fertilizer right now… But yeah, I think the way you handled them was very pretty and graceful.” Subaru sighed in relief when he thought of the bloodbath they had narrowly avoided. The man who had been beaten senseless by Rem probably hadn’t even considered the possibility of getting massacred by a cute maid. Subaru knew that feeling better than anyone.

[Assistant] “So where is our bard right now? The guest room?”

[User] “She’s with Emilia-tan. Officially, it’s for her safety. We don’t want to spook her and have her run on us. We figured Emilia-tan was ideal for the task since she’s blissfully ignorant.”

[Assistant] “I see. Yes, I can understand why Master Roswaal would want to keep that poet here.” Ram tucked her chin and shot an icy glare at Subaru.

[User] He shrugged. "We want to make Liliana Emilia-tan’s PR manager or something like that, right? Liliana wants to write a new hero’s epic all by herself. The biography of a kingdom’s new monarch seems like the perfect subject to me.”

[Assistant] “Surprisingly quick on the uptake, Barusu. That’s cleared up any doubts I had that I was talking to someone with a hollowed-out pumpkin for a head.”

[User] “Dude, are you calling me a jack-o’-lantern?” Ram’s criticisms were sharp as ever.


[User] "I, too, am mooost pleased that Subaru is quick to catch on. You beauuuutifully described my policy on the matter. To elaborate ever so slightly, I do want to make sure everyone’s pros and cons are taken into consideration.”

[Assistant] “Pros and cons, eh…” Roswaal wore a thin smile in satisfaction, which Subaru found just a little bit fishy.

[User] "This is difficult to say…but Lady Emilia is a half-elf. Most bards would reject our proposal on that basis alone, so we cannot rule out the possibility. However, as Liliana seems to have taken to Lady Emilia, we believe she will likely agree, with some provisions.” Rem's eyes cast downward.

[Assistant] “In other words…if we offer to deal with that insane problem she can’t solve on her own, she won’t be able to say no… Wow, do I look evil right now?”

[User] "You always look evil.”

[Assistant] "You always look lovely.”

[User] Subaru grimaced at Roswaal and his rotten personality, receiving deeply conflicting answers from the twins. Shot the marquis a hard stare and scooted away, only for the man to beam radiantly and wave at him.

[Assistant] "Anyway, I guess the plan is to keep an eye on Liliana and try to resolve her problem. It really was a shame that we let her assailants get away. If only we’d captured just one of them…” Subaru sighed.

[User] “Yes, if we’d broken fifty to sixty bones, he might have spilled everything.”

[Assistant] “If you tortured him that badly, the only thing he’d spill is blood, you psycho.”

[User] “I’ll keep my guard up, too, but if I happen to be attacked, all I can do is squeak for help in falsetto. Then again, I doubt these guys have the balls to break into the heavily guarded manor of a marquis.”

[Assistant] “If I hear your voice, Subaru, I will come flying to your aid. Whether I’m cleaning or cooking or even bathing, please do not hesitate to call your Rem for help.”

[User] "You filthy cad.”

[Assistant] “Could you please not condemn a guy before he even says anything? !” Subaru could practically see the puppy-maid Rem wagging her invisible tail even as the kitty-maid Ram skewered him with a deeply judgmental glare.

[User] “Anyway, I would liiiike to wait and see.” Roswaal said, cutting in.


[User] “We will ask Liliana more pressing questions to learn more about her situation while we seek a solution to her problem—how does thaaaaat sound?”

[Assistant] “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind when I talk to her. Though, to be honest, I think she’s still freaked out of her mind right now.”

[User] “She brought a problem that bothers Master Roswaal. She deserves to suffer a little.”

[Assistant] “That’s a rather insolent thing to say about a guest, Ram.” Subaru got up to leave.

[User] With a cynical smile at Ram’s sass, Subaru put his hand on the door. “As long as she is in my home, I will guarantee her safety. Be aaaaabsolutely sure you tell her that, all right?”

[Assistant] Subaru simply sighed at the loaded statement.

[User] “S-sho…I ashume there’s no need to worry about the unforgivably i-i-injolent things I shaid?”

[Assistant] “Dude, what language is that supposed to be?” After Subaru gave Liliana the marquis’s verdict, Liliana completely deflated and slid out of her chair in relief. It was a pitiful sight, but Subaru graciously overlooked it.

[User] “Now that you’re out of the woods, don’t get any weird ideas that you can wrap the lord of the land up in your problems. Fact of the matter is, you were unforgivably insolent—that’s not hyperbole.”

[Assistant] “Urgh! I-I’m sorry. I strive to make my conscience lighter than a breeze, clearer than a surging stream!”

[User] “Okay, I’m banning your absurd quips. They’re upstaging mine.”

[Assistant] Liliana didn’t have the heart to protest.

[User] Subaru found it reassuring that Liliana seemed so obviously devastated and regretful.

[Assistant] Emilia puffed her cheeks in anger after listening to their conversation. “Subaru. Liliana is clearly very sorry for what she did. Can’t you go easy on her?”

[User] “No, I can’t, Emilia-tan. You’ve gotta be blunt with dumbasses like this; otherwise, they never attain the gift of self-awareness. She has to get it through her thick skull how keeping secrets can endanger those around— Emilia-tan, why are you looking at me like that?”

[Assistant] “No reason. I was just thinking how awful it must be to lack self-awareness.”

[User] Sensing he was at a disadvantage, he turned away from Emilia and back to Liliana. “Now, we’d love to hear your side of the story again, in detail… Just how long have those vagabonds in white been following you?”

[Assistant] “I’ve got absolutely no idea. I only discovered they were following me a few days ago… Don’t ask me to be more specific than that.”

[User] “You’re saying you didn’t notice anything that might give us a clue?”

[Assistant] “Nope.


[User] "Just little things, like my favorite quill disappearing, my clean clothes being gone when I get out of the bath, and my instrument vanishing from the lodge…"

[Assistant] "Um, that sounds like a classic stalker?!" Subaru cried out in realization.

[User] Emilia gives Subaru a confused stare.

[Assistant] Liliana gives Subaru a confused stare.

[User] Subaru shook his head vigorously as he remembered how the attackers looked. "Your things going missing probably had nothing to do with the gang that’s been hounding you. Probably just some die-hard fans. Has anybody ever chased after you with a sharp object before?"

[Assistant] "Mm-hmm! The way you worded that sounds vaguely wrong somehow…but no, sir, I’ll have you know that today was the first time I caught a glimpse of something sharp and shiny. Otherwise, I’d have a much more solemn look on my face right now."

[User] "You don’t look all that solemn now… But anyway, what you’re saying is, their MO changed suddenly."

[Assistant] Subaru’s mind raced, trying to find a motive for the men in white after hearing Liliana’s testimony. But the only abnormality that happened directly to Liliana—the only lead he had—was one event. "You coming here…and meeting directly with the marquis… You think that made the men in white nervous?"

[User] "Dude, don’t tell me you have no clue whatsoever. You reek of some seriously shady shit. If you know something, you’d better barf it up now. Otherwise, we can’t guarantee we can protect you."

[Assistant] "How dare you say a word like barf in front of a fair maiden! I swear on my ancestors and on my lyulyre, I’m not hiding anything! Actually, wait, let’s leave my lyulyre out of this!"

[User] "Hey, don’t crap out on me when we’re running out of time!" Subaru yelled at the bard as she cradled her livelihood to her chest. But as far as he could tell, she was sincerely racking her brain for a clue. After muttering and nodding to herself a few times, she finally said

[Assistant] "I don’t have even the teensiest intention of keeping any secrets from you—my brain just isn’t working! Y’know what it feels like when you’ve got a fish bone lodged between every tooth? The wrongness of it is torture, I tell you!"

[User] "Uh, you should probably debone your fish before you eat them, then."

[Assistant] Subaru turned to Emilia in hopes of steering the conversation back on course. "So fish-bone metaphors aside…did you figure anything out, Emilia-tan?


[User] “I’m sure she babbled to you incessantly while you were in here waiting with her, right?”

[Assistant] “Not at all, actually. According to Liliana, she didn’t sense anything was amiss until a couple weeks ago… It started before she arrived at Earlham Village. It was around the time she left a town called Wawer. If something particular caused this, then—”

[User] “—Then it happened there. We can be ninety-nine percent sure whatever happened there was the cause of all this. Either something impactful happened or she screwed up or— Hey.”

[Assistant] “Why is it a foregone conclusion that I screwed up? I must protest this absolute slander!” Liliana cried.

[User] Subaru answered her screeching with a chop to the face.

[Assistant] She puffed up her lips, grabbed her two pigtails, and shook her head. "Even if you insist…nothing was out of the ordinary. That town was a little cold to strangers, so I didn’t exactly feel welcome. That’s all, real…ly… Oh! Ohh!!! My songs! Please don’t sigh after I finish…! Please don’t look at me like that…!”

[User] “Um, sorry to make you relive something traumatizing, but could you elaborate? I think we’re finally getting somewhere.” Emilia interjected, “What I’d like to know is, why would you stay at such a terrible place for even one day? I’ve experienced the same thing, and it’s just not a good feeling for either party.”

[Assistant] “Oh dear, I’ve caught a glimpse of Emilia-tan’s painful past.” As Liliana shivered and clutched her head.

[User] Emilia’s well-meaning words of wisdom twisted the knife.

[Assistant] “Oh! See, I do have a reason for that. Yes, the townsfolk were a bit standoffish, and it was just awful, but as luck would have it, the richest old-timer in the town took a liking to me!”

[User] “Oh-ho…a rich old man, eh?”

[Assistant] “Oooh yes! He doted on me like I was his own sweet granddaughter. He even bought me a new lyulyre! That’s why this is brand spanking new!” As Liliana proudly thrust out her lyulyre.

[User] Subaru impulsively took it. Mostly because Liliana was getting a little too carried away, but also because he thought it sounded like Liliana had tricked a lonely old man into giving her a bunch of money.

[Assistant] “He fed me yummy food, let me sleep in a soft bed, bought me new clothes and a new lyulyre… It was like a dream. Gee-hee-hee.”

[User] “Y’know, it wouldn’t hurt to bring a little more grace outside your performances…”

[Assistant] Liliana was drooling and giggling like a drunk. But not only did she ignore Subaru’s advice, she also suddenly hid her silly face and said, “But though it pains me to say it, my happy time there was fleeting. I don’t know what I did wrong, but the old man suddenly kicked me out of his house one day."


[User] "My spree ended there."

[Assistant] "So…did you break a vase, sneak food between meals, or have an accident in bed?"

[User] "H-how rude! I haven’t had an accident in five years, thank you very much!"

[Assistant] Five years ago… That would make her sixteen… Subaru stopped there and decided he didn’t want to go through the trouble of unpacking that. Ultimately, it seemed she really didn’t have any clue why she had been kicked out. Even now, Liliana looked utterly perplexed. the words rich old man sounded quite fishy on their own…but it was quite a reach to assume that was the root of the stalking. Unless the people stalking her were under some misunderstanding about what had transpired between Liliana and the old man. "Either way, our two clues are the town of Wawer and the old man who lives there. I’ll run this by Roswaal just in case… I wonder if he’ll look into it?"

[User] "Oh, butbutbut! All the old man did was take care of me and teach me the song that must never be sung… I just can’t think of anything that might be important."

[Assistant] "Is that so…? Yes, I suppose none of that would serve as a clue. Oh bother…"

[User] "Whoa, hold up." Subaru frantically butted into the conversation, hearing something he couldn’t ignore. Both ladies gave him quizzical looks, so it seemed neither of them was joking around. This is why ditziness scares me sometimes. Emilia-tan, you’re an angel. "Excuse me, um… What exactly is this song that must never be sung?"

[Assistant] "Huh…? Well, it’s a song the old man taught me. It contains the secret of how he amassed his fortune. Both compositionally and lyric-wise, it’s really not my thing, if I’m gonna be honest."

[User] "Now, Liliana, you shouldn’t talk that way about a song that was gifted to you."

[Assistant] "Would you sing some of it for us?"

[User] "Oooh yes, I’d love to! While I’m at it, I’d love to perform every song I know for you!" Liliana took her lyulyre back from Subaru and started strumming in high spirits.

[Assistant] Emilia’s eyes sparkled, her heart dancing from the bard’s offer.

[User] And as Subaru watched the pair, he pinched the spot between his eyes. Then he took in a deep breath and yelled— "The song! It’s the song, you dumbass!! !" —and promptly crashed into the blissfully innocent pair’s happy moment.


[Assistant] "But ya know, I still have questions…"

[User] "Hyesh? Hwhat do ya hwanna mhow?"

[Assistant] "Don’t talk with your mouth full. That’s unbecoming of a lady."

[User] "Gee-hee-hee. Looks like even the chore boy finally recognizes my womanly charms!" For some reason, Liliana looked quite proud of herself. Probably because of how she had chosen to interpret Subaru’s scolding. Unfortunately, the way she stuffed her cheeks with snacks like a squirrel made it difficult for her to call herself a lady. Liliana was currently filling her bottomless pit of a stomach with the special treats that Rem had baked for afternoon tea.


[User] Subaru sipped his tea and enjoyed his sweets in what should have been an enjoyable little afternoon moment of peace, he let out a sigh.

[Assistant] "You’ve been here three days now…"

[User] "Yes, indeed. How the time flies… And?"

[Assistant] "These attackers haven’t exactly been coming after you constantly, but…seriously, what the hell did you do?!" As Subaru’s shout echoed back in time over the past three days, Liliana’s round eyes grew even rounder in surprise. During the course of her stay at the manor, her pursuers had mounted multiple attacks, coming morning, noon, and night for a total of ten times and counting. So much for the hope that Liliana’s attackers would back off if she was in the care of a marquis.

[User] "Rem is holding them off all by herself for now, but if there’s one thing these guys are freakishly good at, it’s running. We still haven’t caught a single one of them. How is that even possible?"

[Assistant] Liliana waved a hand. "Aw, c’mon, if we knew that, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Please don’t make me point out the obvious after all this time."

[User] "I know you’re an anomaly, but how did you lose any semblance of dignity in just three days?!"

[Assistant] Liliana just laughed it off. She really had gotten a bit too comfortable over the past three days. She’d been her meek little self for only a few hours on the first day. Now she boldly marched around the manor as if the entire place and everything inside it belonged to her. (Either that, or she simply didn’t care what Subaru thought of her.)

[User] "All good things come to those who wait, or so they say. Ram won’t rest easy if we have to wait much longer, though."

[Assistant] "I do apologize for the inconvenience… By the way, are you gonna eat that? Can I have it?"

[User] "Your gratitude is purely superficial, isn’t it?!" Taking Subaru’s outburst as a “yes,” Liliana helped herself to Subaru’s last piece of cake. Subaru felt sorry for Ram, who had been working hard for Liliana’s sake. Rem’s sister was currently in Wawer, the town where Liliana had stayed. Thanks to her investigation there, they had figured out that Liliana’s stalking was indeed connected to the rich old man. The main thing on Subaru’s mind was the genuine look of disgust on Ram’s face as she’d walked out the door. She may have left the manor under Roswaal’s orders, but it was almost certain that she would take it out on him the moment she got back.

[Assistant] "Despite everything, pretty much everyone besides Ram seems to have taken a liking to you."


[User] As Subaru watched the beautiful little girl (aged twenty-one) cackle to herself, he felt a distinct sense of defeat.

[Assistant] "That is wildly unconvincing coming from you…"

[User] "In that regard, Emilia-tan truly does deserve to be my number one shining star."

[Assistant] "Did somebody call my name?" Emilia entered the room right as he was talking about her.

[User] “Eep!” Subaru’s heart flew out of his chest

[Assistant] giggled at the boy standing oddly at attention. She pointed above the door.

[User] "It’s almost time. I couldn’t wait, so I ended up coming over."

[Assistant] "I’d rather hear you say that when you’re at the door to my bedroom after everyone’s asleep… Rem also said she’d be here as soon as she put away the dishes."

[User] "Hee-hee, I’m sure Rem is also excited. I’m dying to continue where we left things off yesterday." Emilia’s cheeks were visibly pink with girlish excitement.

[Assistant] Subaru shot Liliana an impulsive glare.

[User] "Shut up!" Subaru barked at the bard, who was licking pastry crème off one hand and grabbing her lyulyre with the other.

[Assistant] "Oh, did you start without me?" Rem asked, popping into the room.

[User] "No, you’re right on time," Emilia answered, scooting over and patting the spot next to her.

[Assistant] "Liliana was just teasing Subaru, as usual."

[User] "Is that how you see it, Emilia-tan? I’m being teased?!"

[Assistant] With a quiet “Pardon me,” Rem sat beside Emilia, leaving only one empty seat…


[User] The hem of her flashy gown swished as she walked into the room. She took one look around with a smug frown on her face and gave a dainty snort. "Well, thanks for holding a spot for me. I’ll admire you for that, I suppose."

[Assistant] "Aww, Beatrice, you big silly, of course we wouldn’t start without you! Why, to do something so dishonorable, I—Liliana—would bring shame to the name of woman!"

[User] "I see. Good attitude. I wonder if somebody could learn a thing or two from you.” Beatrice shot Subaru a sharp look. Still, the little girl, who stood no taller than Subaru when he was seated, was surprisingly charming once Subaru got over her brazen attitude.

[Assistant] "Beako, I still can’t believe you’d leave your Archive of Forbidden Books just to come hear Liliana’s songs."

[User] "Interacting with the world through a medium besides books isn’t a bad thing, I suppose. That girl’s performances have a certain quality to them. I wonder if her singing voice is more valuable than ten of yours."

[Assistant] "Could you please stop before I seriously start doubting my self-worth?"

[User] Ignoring Subaru, Beatrice lowered herself into an empty seat. Now all of Liliana’s fans at Roswaal Manor were present. It was a surprise to everyone at the manor that not only Emilia and Rem, but even Beatrice had become a fan of the bard’s music.

[Assistant] “Okay, well, thank you for gathering again today to hear my music. Here to color this little moment with song and story is yours truly—your singer, Liliana.”

[User] Before her audience of four, Liliana stood at the center of the room and delivered her preamble. She was bold and proud as she recited the lines. No matter what she was like the rest of the time, she was the perfect bard when she was performing. (And the bit of cake crumb sticking to her lower lip was more charming than anything else.)

[Assistant] “Now, for my first song, I will perform a modern classic: the ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil,’ act two. The curtain opens on the Sword Devil’s younger days, when all he knew was the sword…and his chance encounter with flowers, and a beautiful girl.” As Liliana bowed, she was met with the delicate applause of the ladies and the loud applause that came from none other than Subaru. He was well aware that at the end of the day, he was secretly just as excited to hear the continuation of the story as everyone else. It was frustrating, but Subaru’s heart had also been stolen by the little singer’s voice.

[User] “And now I will sing, if you’ll listen—the ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil.’” As Liliana plucked the strings of her lyulyre, her airy voice joined the music, and she began singing. Suddenly, the room gave way to the world she wove with her lyrics. It felt incredibly real. “” Every gesture and movement reshaped the world around them until all they could see was the world of the story.


[User] Covered in goose bumps, it took everything in Subaru to keep himself from groaning in awe. He couldn’t let himself ruin this unbelievable moment.

[Assistant] The story followed a swordsman so devoted to the sword that he came to be known as the Sword Devil. It opened with him moving to the royal capital, becoming a soldier, and being given his own command. And then he met a girl. The song burst with color as the Sword Devil—oblivious to the new romance budding in his heart—swung his white blade on the battlefield. The second act concluded with the Sword Devil feeling something that rivaled his love for the sword welling up within him whenever he talked with the girl.

[User] "Thank you for listening. You’ve been a wonderful audience.” The lyulyre ended its earthshaking melody as Liliana bowed.

[Assistant] Subaru shot up straight as he clapped for her.

[User] Emilia clapped somberly beside him.

[Assistant] Rem clapped somberly beside him.

[User] Beatrice was the only one not clapping, but the faint smile on her face proved that Liliana’s music had satisfied her.

[Assistant] “It’s just so beautiful… I feel like the story is about to get really good.”

[User] “I already know the ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’ from start to finish, but I feel like I’m hearing it for the first time."

[Assistant] “I am in awe of your music, Lady Liliana. It was simply inspiring.”

[User] “It was acceptable, I suppose. You can play more of the song for me later if you wish.”

[Assistant] “Emotionally stunted loli says what…” Subaru poked fun at her to save himself the trouble of offering his honest impressions.

[User] “So, chore boy, what did you think?” The bard wore a devilish smirk and crinkled her nose.

[Assistant] He bit his lip and sighed in defeat.

[User] “Argh… I hate to admit it, but it was crazy good. When you’re not singing, you’re honestly not that remarkable as a person or as a girl, but when you are singing, you’re special. Maybe you should sing all the time, for the good of the world and humanity and yourself.”

[Assistant] “Do mine ears deceive me?! I think I’m hearing praise, but something about it is a little off! How strange!”

[User] Too bitter to pay her a sincere compliment, Subaru slipped in some passive-aggressive snark.

[Assistant] Beatrice chortled.

[User] Emilia gave a lukewarm glance.

[Assistant] “The ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’ is five acts in all."

[User] “Naturally, I like the fifth and final act best, but tomorrow’s third act is not to be missed. I promise I’ll run down here as soon as I finish my work.”

[Assistant] “You’re a huge fan of this story, aren’t you, Rem? Personally, I find Liliana’s singing incredibly good, while I have a hard time immersing myself in the story.


[User] "Think my opinion’ll change when I hear the rest?” Subaru asked.

[Assistant] “Yes, I’m sure of it. The Sword Devil’s way of life is still idolized today. I hope that someday, Subaru, you’ll come for your Rem just like the Sword Devil did.”

[User] “If the spoilers I heard are correct, then doesn’t that end with you and me fighting to the death, Rem?” Subaru wondered aloud. Despite his misgivings, his expression softened into a smile when he saw how Rem’s cheeks glowed with excitement. It wasn’t every day she showed her emotions so openly. That, plus Beatrice’s presence, was a testament to Liliana’s singing ability.

[Assistant] “And here you are, fitting in just like that. Not cool.”

[User] “Why the sour face, chore boy? Stare at me with those sad eyes all you want. I won’t find you endearing or cute. You need to be more objective, take a good look at yourself, and act accordingly.”

[Assistant] “Fine advice, considering how you act. Wait, could it be that it’s all an act to lower our expectations so you’ll seem that much more impressive when you sing? What is this, gap moe?”

[User] “I haven’t the teeniest idea what you’re talking about. The epitome of om-nom-nom…”

[Assistant] “Don’t eat mid-monologue!” And thus, the surprisingly insightful comment ended in an equally unexpected way. Now that her song was finished and her lyulyre was leaning safely against the wall, Liliana’s hands were filled with snacks once more. In no time at all, the majestic and elegant goddess of music was stained by sugar, transforming into a fallen angel. This was a familiar sight now after the past three days. Once the performance was over, they mingled and had tea. But things wouldn’t go so smoothly today…


[User] "Excuse me," Rem suddenly said, jumping to her feet and running to the window. Then without a sound, she opened the window and squinted her blue eyes to scan the outdoors. Her gaze stopped at the front gate of the manor. Moments later, she pulled something from her pocket.

[Assistant] “Rem, what is that?”

[User] “A small morning star. I don’t have anything else nearby that I can use easily.” Rolling the golf ball–sized metal sphere in her hand with a shy look on her face, Rem hurled the impromptu missile outside. A second later, a dull thud followed by a savage shriek sounded in the distance. Rem looked outside and raised a thumb.

[Assistant] “That was a hit.”

[User] Subaru shot Rem a smirk and joined her at the window to look outside.

[Assistant] “They never learn, do they…?” And there, he saw the men in white, carrying their unconscious comrade from the front garden.