[User] Some appetizing aromas wafted over from the kitchen at the end of the corridor. Rem glided silently toward the entrance.

[Assistant] "Master Roswaal, I’m sorry all this happened today. I will give Barusu a stern talking-to later… Yes, very stern." Just before she leaned over to peek inside, Ram’s threatening voice stopped her in her tracks.

[User] Rem strictly avoided showing emotion in front of others, but as they had known each other since birth, Rem could deduce her sister’s emotional state from even the slightest fluctuations in her voice. And from the long years of honing her sister sensor, Rem could tell that Ram was furious. Rem hadn’t seen anything like it in years. Chancing a quick glance inside, Rem caught Ram peeling vegetables with fiery wrath in her eyes. As Ram’s skilled hands operated the knife, the vegetables shed their skins like magic.

[Assistant] Ram cut up the ingredients while Roswaal watched the pot. Ram was clearly doing more work, but considering their positions, Roswaal had already made quite a large compromise. Rem knew that Ram was probably dying to take care of everything herself and let Roswaal sit down.

[User] "Oh, you neeeedn’t overreact, my dear. I believe it is quite important for me to experience what the typical workday is like for my staff. And Subaru moooost certainly did not force me into this." Roswaal was leisurely leaning against the kitchen wall while he watched Ram work from behind. With a wave of his fingers, the pot sitting on the surface that was powered by a fire magic stone shook, filling the kitchen with a steamy aroma that spilled out into the hallway.

[Assistant] "You’re far too soft on Barusu, Master. If you indulge in his misguided ideas, he’ll give you a hard time. Look at what he did today—"

[User] "Weeeell then, Ram, do you think it was misguided to let Rem have the day off?"

[Assistant] "I…I just think we should let Rem do what she wants."

[User] "I have noticed she has been quite enthusiastic with her woooork as of late. But there’s a fine line between enthusiasm and strain. Moreover, I think we’re going in the correct direction here." As Roswaal spoke, Ram shut her mouth, and Rem strained her ears.

[Assistant] Hearing them talking about her made Rem feel oddly self-conscious. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on them. This made her no better than a common thief. "I should go…"

[User] Ram and Roswaal were a dependable team, especially given their many years together. There was no worry they might butt heads. Rem pulled herself away from the kitchen door to leave.


[Assistant] "Rem will always be my sweet baby sister. Just because her way of thinking has changed, that won’t change how I act around her—or how I’ll always love her."

[User] "Well, leeeet’s just leave it at that then, shall we?"

[Assistant] Rem softly pressed a hand to her chest when she heard what Ram said.


[User] She took one final glance in the kitchen and found Roswaal gazing back at her.

[Assistant] Roswaal said nothing, only winking silently at her before turning away.

[User] Rem quietly turned back to the hallway and left the kitchen behind her. "Thank you…Master Roswaal." After saying a word of gratitude to Roswaal, Rem headed to her next destination. Next, she would check in on Puck and Beatrice in the laundry room. "Ordinarily, I’d expect to find them by the fountain…"


[User] “How could I be so careless? Sister or I always take care of the laundry…!” Rem admonished herself for the oversight and rushed to the great bath in the west wing. As she ran, the sound of water and talking voices reached her ears, letting her know the pair was already there. She would just have to get there and take the clothes away from them before they mishandled them and—

[Assistant] "Listen, Betty, this is important. Ladies’ underthings can’t be washed roughly. Their colors will fade, and they can lose their shape, too. You can ruin them in a single wash, so you always have to handle them very carefully. It’s tempting to just chuck all the clothing people won’t see into the wash with everything else, but you’ve got to treat them special because they are special.”

[User] “I see, okay. That’s my Puckie—so knowledgeable. I’m learning so much.”

[Assistant] As Rem quietly caught her breath in the changing room, she watched Beatrice dip her hands into a bucket of water to carefully wash a pair of underwear. Puck floated nearby, swishing his long tail as he gazed down at a small bathtub. There was something strange about the way he was moving. Rem stood on tiptoe to see what Puck was doing. When she saw the cause, she quietly gasped. In the tub, there was a pile of clothes spinning around in the water with bubbles. It was probably wind and water magic. By reversing the spin of the whirlpool now and again, Puck was able to do a huge load of laundry at once. And upon closer glance, Beatrice wasn’t touching the water directly with her hands, either. She was using her fingertips to mold the water into a shape—that was how she was washing the undergarments. It was an overwhelmingly mundane and almost excessive display of magic that could only be performed by powerful beings like them. Even though what they were doing was incredibly high-level, it was perfectly suited for the pedestrian task of laundry. What surprised Rem even more was how oddly knowledgeable Puck was about daily life in human society.

[User] “Once you finish washing the clothes with soapy water, you rinse it in warm water. You have to rinse it properly. Otherwise, white fabrics can turn yellow. When it’s time to dry the clothes, hang them in a place with a breeze, but not in direct sunlight. This will protect the all-important underwear.”

[Assistant] If anything, it was almost creepy how much Puck knew. Had he learned it for Emilia’s sake? Where had he learned it? It was an utter mystery. “At least I don’t need to worry about them anymore.” The biggest source of Rem’s fear—a lack of knowledge—had turned out to be completely unfounded. Rem sighed in relief and decided this pair would be all right, though she was coming away with several new questions. “Still, laundry is such a bother.”


[User] "I wonder if humans find it frustrating that they have to do so much to take care of their things that get dirty simply by existing?”

[Assistant] “Yes, all we need to do is go away and come back again to refresh our appearances. Ah, right, your circumstances are a bit different, Betty.”

[User] “Just a bit different… I don’t get dirty the same way you don’t, I suppose.” Beatrice’s tone dropped a little as she looked into her bucket of underwear.

[Assistant] “It’s a pain doing laundry with magic as it is… Washing each and every item by hand is pure insanity. Just doing this for a short while has left me feeling dreadfully bored.”

[User] “But those kids do tasks like this every day. We don’t need our clothes laundered, but we do need to eat and have a clean space to live in. And they take care of those tasks every day as well, so they’re bound to get tired. Now I can see why Subaru wanted to give Rem a day off.”

[Assistant] “W-well…I suppose I do see your point. Just a little.”

[User] As Rem walked out of the changing room, she turned to face the bath, bowed, and said, “Thank you both for your kindness.” Then she went to see the final pair working on her behalf that day.


[Assistant] "Nothing puts me more in a cleaning mood than tying a handkerchief around my head."

[User] "Now that’s something you don’t see people do nowadays…”

[Assistant] As she climbed the stairs to the third floor of the west wing, Rem quieted herself when she heard the two talking. She pressed her back against the wall and peered down the hallway.

[User] "But you know, it’s not that dirty up here. Looks like somebody does a good job keeping it tidy.” Emilia breathed on the windows, then wiped them squeaky-clean with her cloth.

[Assistant] “Well, we do clean the three wings on a rotation. Plus, the west wing is used way less than the other wings. Like the dance hall. That poor room is long overdue for some company.”

[User] “Argh, no luck. This spot is clean, too! Wow, look at me, lamenting how clean it is.” He gave an apathetic shrug.


[User] "Never thought I’d see the day!"

[Assistant] "It really is surprising. But that’s just proof of Rem’s hard work. I’m not sure I would have noticed this if I hadn’t gone around and looked at everything in detail."

[User] Emilia giggled a little as she watched Subaru clutch his head in surrender. She glanced down the hallway and heaved a small sigh. "We really shouldn’t make light of all this. Here I was, trying to help Rem, and I wound up learning a valuable lesson. Thanks, Subaru."

[Assistant] "Huh? Oh, um, yeah, that’s kind of exactly what I was going for. I wanted you to understand how hard Rem works and give Rem the day off. Two birds, one stone, y’know?"

[User] "Sorry, I don’t think I understood that."

[Assistant] Subaru’s shoulders slumped in dejection. "But cleaning the house like this… It brings back some memories."

[User] "When do you mean, exactly?"

[Assistant] "There was a time when I worked like Ram and Rem. Just for a little while, mind you. A string of misunderstandings brought me there… But now it’s a fun memory, hee-hee."

[User] "Huh, I didn’t know that. Wait, don’t tell me you wore a maid’s uniform? Ha-ha, yeah, right."

[Assistant] "I did wear one. It wasn’t short like Rem’s, though."

[User] "Wait, really?! Why wasn’t I there to see that?!"

[Assistant] "Huh? Maybe because I hadn’t met you yet?"

[User] Emilia gave him a quizzical look as Subaru bit his lip in absolute despair.

[Assistant] A part of Rem felt sorry for Subaru, but another part of her was relieved that the two were making little progress.

[User] "Huh? Wait a minute, isn’t today…? One, two, three…"

[Assistant] Once he reached a certain number, he quietly muttered, "Oh crap," as he looked out the window.

[User] "Subaru? Is something wrong?"

[Assistant] "I forgot a really important job we have to do. If we ditch that job, there’ll be a big problem."

[User] "A really important job… Is it a job that has to be done at a certain time or needs a certain number of people?"

[Assistant] "No, one person can do it just fine. Thing is…it’s the type of job you absolutely can’t forget to do." Subaru scratched his cheek as he rued his carelessness.

[User] Emilia put a finger to her lips in thought…then once she figured out what Subaru meant, she nodded. "Okay. In that case, you should go do that job, Subaru. I’m sure I can handle cleaning this wing by myself. It’s mostly done already."

[Assistant] "Emilia-tan…are you sure you’ll be okay without me? Won’t you get lonely?"

[User] "Not even a little bit. Don’t worry."

[Assistant] "Why do you have to sound so sure of that?" After a round of the usual banter, Subaru reluctantly left Emilia’s side.


[User] She waved quietly at him until he was gone, then with a little “Okay!” to energize herself.

[Assistant] "Well, with all that boasting I did in front of Subaru, I’d better deliver. I need to show him I can take care of this easy-peasy on my own… Otherwise, he’ll laugh at me later.”

[User] Even though Subaru would never laugh at Emilia, she seemed to be serious about what she said and brought her bucket and rag into another room.

[Assistant] "Where did Subaru go off to…?" What was this important job besides meals, laundry, and dusting?

[User] “Oh." When she recalled how Subaru was staring out the window earlier, Rem finally stumbled upon the answer.

[Assistant] “Is it all right if I join you, Subaru?”


[User] Subaru slipped through the mansion’s front gate and saw Rem standing there, his eyes widened in surprise.

[Assistant] "Well, dang. So you saw right through me.” He scratched his cheek awkwardly.

[User] "No, I discovered it had slipped my mind until just recently. I likely remembered it the same time you did, Subaru.” With a little smile, Rem reassuringly shook her head at Subaru, who was apologetic.

[Assistant] "This is the third day since the last time we checked… It’s the day we must go to the mountain barrier to see if it is still intact. It would be a shame if it wasn’t, since we only just recently contained the demon beasts.”

[User] Rem had intercepted Subaru just as he was about to go to the mountain.

[Assistant] “All I have to do is check to see if the crystal is still glowing. I can easily do that by myself. Does the idea of me walking in the mountains alone really worry you that much?”

[User] “I always worry about you, Subaru, but that isn’t the only reason. I just want to go with you… Is that not okay?”

[Assistant] Subaru evaded Rem’s eyes and scratched the tip of his nose.

[User] Hiking on your day off… You sure are an outdoorsy person, aren’t you, Rem?” He heaved a resigned sigh.

[Assistant] “Whenever I’m with you, it’s okay for me to lean against you as much as I wish.


[User] "You told me that, remember?”

[Assistant] “And I’m easily manipulated by that offer… All right, you can come with me. No road is long with good company, as they say.”

[User] “Agreed.” And with that, Subaru began to walk, while Rem followed slightly behind him at his side. That proximity and speed was the most comforting feeling of closeness for Rem. They weren’t side by side, yet she wasn’t totally behind him, either. But sometimes, Subaru would look over his shoulder to check on her, like he was making sure Rem was still following him. And when Rem realized just how comforting that gesture of his was, that spot right behind Subaru had become her favorite place to be. She felt best when she was there. The black-haired boy’s eyes were so gentle, she could almost feel his warm, considerate touch.

[Assistant] “Listen, Rem—I kinda steamrolled you today and forced you to do a bunch of things… Did that bother you?”

[User] “Why…do you ask?”

[Assistant] “I noticed it again when you were waiting for me at the gate earlier, but I’m worried you weren’t exactly able to relax today. I know, it’s a bit too late, and I should’ve noticed it sooner, but still.” As Subaru awkwardly tried to gauge Rem’s psychological state, she couldn’t help but giggle softly.

[User] "Yes, I suppose so. Truth be told, I would have liked to arrange and assign the work tasks myself, so in that regard, you did give me quite a bit to worry about.”

[Assistant] “Urgh… Sorry about that.”

[User] “I had quite a few plans of my own today. And since I took the day off, that might impact my workload tomorrow. I can’t deny that your plan has put me in a bit of a pickle.”

[Assistant] “Gurg… One small kindness can turn into one big bother for others…” With a sideways glance at Subaru, who was clutching his chest and wobbling as he walked, Rem sneakily stuck out her tongue and grinned. He had given her a scare, so this little revenge was warranted. Though while he had given her a scare, gaining a day off was not at all a bad feeling.

[User] “But I was very happy how kind and considerate you’ve been to me today, and during this day off, I got to see how Lady Emilia, Master Roswaal, and everyone else thinks of me. And for that, I want to thank you.” There was also Puck’s unusual well of trivia and Beatrice’s stouthearted use of magic. The way she spun the laundry to wash it was something Rem wanted to adopt.

[Assistant] Subaru stopped in his tracks, his jaw dropped. Then his lips twisted into a smile when he realized Rem had played him.


[User] “Geez, Rem, I’m happy we’ve grown close enough that you’re able to joke at my expense.”

[Assistant] “I’m sorry. But I was telling the truth when I said the suddenness of it all gave me a scare. And in a way, seeing that the house could be run perfectly fine without me made me feel a little sad.”

[User] “Er, yeah, but we can’t always focus all our combat powers on household tasks like we did today. Besides, if we take your early-morning errands into account, I doubt we would successfully manage an entire day’s worth of chores.”

[Assistant] “I do believe that’s an exaggeration.”

[User] “Says the girl who does the work of five people all by herself. I think it’s high time you revised your opinion of yourself, Rem. Nobody would bat an eye if you sang your own praises now and again.”

[Assistant] As she received Subaru’s praise, Rem felt nothing but pure bliss. Hearing him say that made all those days of hard work worth it. She had nothing but gratitude for Subaru, for instigating the experiment, and the desire to reward him for his thoughtfulness consumed her. “Subaru?”

[User] “Hmm? What’s up? Ready to sing your own praises now?”

[Assistant] “Thank you for everything.”

[User] “Why’re you thanking me?! When did I do something to deserve it? !” Subaru sputtered, flustered by the unexpected answer.

[Assistant] Rem giggled into her hand. It was the generous boy’s lack of self-awareness that made her love him so much.


[User] The next morning, Rem woke up earlier than usual, took extra care with her personal grooming, accomplished the early-morning chores with more cheer than usual, and arrived at Ram’s room at the same time as usual. “Sister, Sister, it’s morning. And a very lovely morning at that.”

[Assistant] “Nnn…five more minutes,” Ram said with a groan like she did every morning. As she burrowed into her blanket, Rem pulled her up to her feet.

[User] Ram wobbled as Rem sat behind her and ran a brush through her pink hair. “Sister, here’s a hot towel.”

[Assistant] Yawning, Ram took the hot towel from her sister. As she wiped her face, her senses gradually awakened.

[User] Meanwhile, Rem brought out her clothes, slipped off Ram’s nightgown, and helped her into her uniform. She was a pro at the job. Rem hummed as she dressed her sister, who was fully awake now and broke into a smile. “Rem…you seem to be in very high spirits this morning.”

[Assistant] “Am I? Well…yes, I suppose I would be. I had a very meaningful day off yesterday. And I owe it in part to all your hard work, Sister.”

[User] “So…did you have a good rest?” Ram asked simply.


[User] Rem thought over the last day... Each and every memory made the answer quite obvious to Rem. "Yes, Sister. I had the happiest day off yesterday."

[Assistant] "Good. That’s all I needed to hear." Ram closed her eyes and nodded in satisfaction after she saw Rem’s smile. This was an expression of heartfelt contentedness that not even Rem got to see very often. Ram let her peaceful gaze go to the window and said, "I suppose Barusu does have useful ideas now and again."

[User] "Oh yes! Subaru is amazing. You feel that way, too, don’t you, Sister?"


[User] Rem puffed her cheeks childishly at her sister’s sarcastic reply. It was a side of herself that she only let her sister see. (Though, that list had expanded to include one other person now.) After Ram was dressed, Rem clapped for her as she posed in front of the mirror. Then they stepped out into the hall just in time to see Subaru, yawning and walking through it.

[Assistant] Spotting the twins, he stifled his yawn and waved. “Good morning, you two… Wait, why is the elder of you glaring at me first thing in the morning?”

[User] “Like you don’t know? This is the face a lady makes when she finds a dead rat first thing in the morning.”

[Assistant] “Um, I hope that wasn’t a direct response to my question!”

[User] With a sheepish smile, Rem decided secretly that she would be extra nice to Subaru to compensate. “Don’t mind her, Subaru. She’s just being honest with her feelings.”

[Assistant] “That’s a funny way of saying, I’m sorry my sister called you a dead rat!”

[User] Still, Subaru set aside his frustrations and took a deep breath. Then he looked at Rem and said, “By the way, Rem, did you manage to get some rest and enjoy your surprise day off yesterday?”

[Assistant] “Yes, of course. And I owe it all to you, Subaru.”

[User] “Tsk!”

[Assistant] “Sister, you just cursed under your breath, didn’t you?”

[User] Subaru stared hard at Ram, who looked away in a huff.

[Assistant] Though envious of their good rapport, Rem took satisfaction in the fact that she had found a joy even greater than that.

[User] “Well, I’m glad to see that big smile on your face, Rem.” Subaru said, shyly scratching his cheek as he observed the unexpectedly big smile on the maid’s face. “So, Rem—you had a whole day to think about it. Have you chosen a reward yet? And don’t tell me you were too busy concentrating on relaxing to think of one.”

[Assistant] “Oh, I won’t tell you that. But you don’t need to give me a reward, because I already got it.”

[User] “Whoa, for real? That’s news to me. Stupid Rozchi, I thought we were friends." Cocking his head to the side, Subaru griped about the absent master of the house.


[User] "Your Rem is looking forward to putting in another day’s hard work!"

[Assistant] Rem's smile was much sweeter that day as she looked at her two loved ones.


[User] On the world’s single continent, there were four nations considered great powers. Each of these nations occupied a cardinal direction, and the other smaller nations were considered vassal states that fell under their protection. Peace between the four great nations was held together in a delicate balance. Excluding the rising nation of Kararagi, this stalemate had not changed much in the past thousand years.

[Assistant] The Holy Kingdom of Gusteko in the north, burdened both with bitter cold and steep mountain ranges, was a harsh land to inhabit for humans and animals alike. The accumulated snowfall over many years made the land unfarmable, save only for the few crops that were resilient to cold. Instead, they raised livestock, and the craggy mountains were filled with plentiful magic stone veins. As such, the nation cemented its position by excavating and using magic stone.

[User] The peak of Sacred Mountain Pardochia was where the mighty Odgras, one of the Four Great Spirits, resided. At the founding of Gusteko, Odgras made a covenant with his spirit mage, who assumed the title of Holy King. Odgras continued to play a role in elections for the Holy King into the modern day. As the ruler of the Holy Kingdom of Gusteko, the Holy King was chosen not by bloodline or birthplace. Instead, Odgras selected someone from the nation whom he deemed worthy.


[Assistant] The city-state of Kararagi in the west was a younger nation with a shorter history compared with the other three. Until only four hundred years prior, the western part of the continent consisted of several small warring states vying for land. As none of these small states was especially mightier than the others, they each feared destruction under a coordinated attack and spent many long, tense years without any progress.

[User] It was a merchant by the name of Hoshin who finally put an end to this stalemate. Of dubious birth and origin, Hoshin rose to power using only his words, his business savvy, and his ideas, until he was finally able to wield formidable magic against the warring nations—a magic called economic power. Hoshin did not belong to any of the smaller nations, yet he had a hand in every nation’s market. As a result, most of the small nations bowed down to him, reclassifying themselves as city-states, all of which had Hoshin as their representative—this was how the nation of Kararagi was born.

[Assistant] Ever since, the name Hoshin had become synonymous with success. Even long after Hoshin’s passing, Kararagi was a place where many gifted people gathered, hoping to follow in his footsteps. And that was how the many city-states of Kararagi transformed into a nation that could match the other three great powers.


[User] This emperor held absolute power and handled all government matters unilaterally. This system had not changed since Volakia’s founding, and the only reason the empire never went bankrupt under a foolish emperor was due to a grand law regarding the emperor’s succession of power. During an emperor’s reign, he was obligated to produce children in all areas of the empire. These children then fought to determine who would inherit the throne. Losing this emperor-selection process meant death. These political wars to select the next emperor were a gruesome distillation of this world’s hatred and ugliness. This nationalism trickled down to the empire’s citizens. The principles supremacy of the powerful and supremacy of a powerful empire were spread far and wide as inherent truth. Volakia did have diplomatic relations with the other nations, but since their fertile lands and stable climate allowed them to be entirely self-sufficient as a nation, they were not particularly interested in trade. Instead, they had a savage hunger for expansion—a constant issue for neighboring Lugunica, which had to constantly keep them in check. Because of this, a particular sense of impending danger loomed over Bariel’s baronry in the Dragonfriend Kingdom of Lugunica’s southwestern region.

[Assistant] To Bariel’s citizens, this wasn’t particularly interesting news, worthy of only a snide remark here and there between farm laborers. The citizens of the Bariel baronry didn’t think too highly of Baron Lyp Bariel, the man who managed their lands. If anything, they thought poorly of him. His laws and taxes gave little consideration to his people. Not only did he show no kindness to them—but he also rarely showed his face. To command his people to like him would be a tall order indeed. With such animosity between a lord and his people, seeds of rebellion were inevitable. Revolts had been plotted many times during the past decade. However, while this lord cared little for the prosperity of his people, he was abnormally shrewd when it came to their conspiracies. Ultimately, every rebellion had been quashed with incredible brutality, only worsening relations between lord and people with each passing day. Because of this, news of their lord’s marriage—what should have been a blessed occasion—was trivial news to the common people. A landlord approaching old age taking a young wife several years his junior didn’t even fall into the range of minor curiosity. After all, they had little doubt this new wife would be no better—she would undoubtedly hoard the fruits of their labor so that she could live in the lap of luxury. Someday, Lyp’s life might come to an end, bringing the heirless Bariel house to ruin. That was the only ray of hope that had kept the citizens living another day. This was their first assessment of her—their assessment before they met Priscilla Bariel, the red woman.

[User] “Ha! What a tasteless and spineless lineup." She spat as she observed the village’s number one farm and its caretaker.


[User] The contempt in her voice and the words she said with great disdain caused many heads to look up. She was standing before them, her hair, orange as the flaming sun, was tied back with a barrette, and her ample curves were highlighted by her deep-red dress. Her lips, painted lightly in red, were chiseled in a smirk, and her eyes burned with abundant red flame as she returned the gazes of the people staring at her. Even the fan she used to cool herself was red—she was crimson from head to toe. “Remove those impure gazes from me at once. What daring yet lowly and foolish peasants.”

[Assistant] "Aha, now I see. The long years of resignation stole every spark of rebellion out of your spines and instilled a defeatist mentality into you. Guess that old geezer really is a worthy nobleman after all. He clearly knows how to discipline.” As the woman looked over the peasants in understanding.

[User] "W-we recognize you as a noblewoman, my lady. What brings you to our humble village today…?” He spoke up in a resolute tone.

[Assistant] “Slow down, pleb. I suppose a sudden visit from a striking beauty such as I would surprise you, but I shall conduct my own business on my terms without any pressure to hurry from anybody. You should count your blessings and forget the passage of time as you catch glimpses of my beauty out of the corner of your eye.” The red woman leaned in close to the field owner, close enough to breathe on him as she spoke alluringly into his face.


[User] "Ahaaa…quite illuminating." After making the field owner wither, the woman walked around the fields as if she owned them. Meanwhile, the people were preoccupied stealing glances at her—just as she had told them to do. If they resumed their field labor, nobody would have a right to complain to them, but nobody showed any inclination of doing so. Everyone feared standing out from the crowd and drawing the attention of that red woman.

[Assistant] "Now I see. I’ll take this one and this one…and those two over there. They aren’t much different anyway. Consider yourself lucky to have fallen into my good graces." After a walk around the fields, the woman gave a nod of approval. Then she stared the field owner up and down, giggling seductively when she noticed him shivering. Her smile, suggestively evil as it was, also held such beauty that nobody could dare look away.

[User] "You, pleb—you own the biggest fields in this baronry, yes?"

[Assistant] "Y-yes, my lady."

[User] "I can tell by the sight of them. Though they are meager, they are large. Your ambitions are ill-suited to the quality of the fruit from those rotten old trees—much like a certain baron I could mention." Her words, dripping with contempt and ridicule, were about none other than Lyp. The people noticed the audacity of her statement a moment after the fact, their faces paling in shock. They considered their dominion lord a celestial being. They were so used to this perspective that their minds could not comprehend the concept of a being higher than him. However, that was a groundless suspicion.

[Assistant] "Anyway, your fields are well managed. It makes a good stepping stone for comparison. There is another who has received the blessings my power bestows. On the other side of the road—the owner of those four meager fields." The woman pointed to what was a wasteland in comparison with the tracts the biggest field owner tended. The owner of those fields had wasted away, just like the land itself. He and his family survived day by day only by the kind support of his fellow villagers. When the red woman saw that villager, her eyes filled with dreadful emotions. It was mostly contempt, malice, and vicious superiority.

[User] "Well, no matter. A little water on those withered stalks, and everyone will notice the change it brings." Shrugging off the stupefied expression on the villagers’ faces, the woman looked away in boredom. Then she pointed at the withered field and politely told the man something. Only the man could hear what she whispered in his ear; nobody else knew what sort of unreasonable demands she was making. But anybody who saw how dumbly he nodded like a puppet felt sorry for the man.


[Assistant] “Y’know, I was really surprised, to be honest. Didn’t realize just how adored you were, Princess.” The voice was unceremonious and carefree, yet muffled and difficult to hear—the reason being a metallic clinking that accompanied it. The speaker wore a jet-black helmet and had a habit of tinkering with the mouth opening while he spoke. The man was dressed oddly—or bizarrely, rather. A black helmet covered his entire head, as mentioned previously, but he was only heavily armored from the neck up. His muscled body was dressed roughly like a mountain bandit’s, and his feet were clothed in leather sandals. He wore a rugged cloth draped around his shoulders, and from his belt, a blunt, rustic sword peeked out. In a way, he seemed to be dressed for some kind of fetish, but from within the strange appearance, there was one point that stood out. The man in the black helmet was missing his left arm. Between his strange clothing and obviously missing appendage, the man commanded a unique presence simply by standing there. This was all the more so when he stood beside the red woman—Priscilla Bariel.

[User] “What do you mean by ‘surprised,’ Al? Behold my beauty—it surpasses human knowledge. Just as the baby chicks scramble for their worms, it is only natural that these plebs and fools worship my divinity.”

[Assistant] “Yeah, random assumption on my part, I guess. I just thought you were a hands-off-and-let-the-fish-propagate-themselves type of gal.”

[User] “If I were, why would I give you such a warm reception?”

[Assistant] “Now that you mention it, yeah.


[User] “My mistake, I guess.” Accepting Priscilla’s retort without complaint, the man in the helmet—Al—scratched his head with his beefy right hand through his helmet. He gave his surroundings an interested once-over, but his emotion and facial expression were not to be seen.

[Assistant] Priscilla had no reaction to his attitude as she strutted on her way without hesitation.

[User] “Oh! It’s Princess Priscilla!”

[Assistant] “Our Princess!”

[User] “All hail the Sun Princess!” It only took one person to notice her and cry out to bring everyone running out of their houses as the villagers, their faces filled with bright smiles, took their turns singing Priscilla’s praises.

[Assistant] “Mm. Quite good. You may praise me as much as you like, foolish plebs. As long as you bow before my glory, you shall receive my mercy. I am not so heartless. Keep up the effort and never falter.” Priscilla spoke not to anyone in particular, but to everyone who was crying out to her in praise as her voice had the power to carry everywhere.

[User] Al was a bit taken aback by the arrogance of what she was saying.

[Assistant] “Understood, my lady!”

[User] “Anything for you, Princess!”

[Assistant] “All hail the Sun Princess!” Not only were the villagers not offended, but her arrogant performance also actually seemed to be received quite well. The disconnect between his mistress’s impression and the way the peasants responded to it made Al cock his head in constant confusion.


[User] Even after spending days with his new mistress, Al still couldn’t get a read on her.

[Assistant] “Come, come, Al, don’t just stand there. The plebs are all brimming with curiosity about you.


[User] “They wonder, what is this strange cryptid of a man standing beside our beautiful princess?”

[Assistant] “Well, wouldn’t it be faster if ya just told them yourself, Princess?”

[User] “Mind the way you speak to me, Al. Even I am not certain how many more times I can laugh off the nonsensical things you say. Don’t earn a person’s disfavor over trivial matters.”

[Assistant] “Yeah, sorry, I misspoke. It was like, what kind of servant orders his mistress to introduce him? Sorry, my bad, forgive me chonmage.”

[User] “Very well, I shall forgive you. However, you must tell me later what chonmage is.”

[Assistant] Al heaved a sigh of relief after escaping Priscilla’s wrath. Then he proceeded to explain who he was to the peasants—exaggerating, approximating, and humorizing the story of how he came to be under Priscilla’s employ. “Princess Priscilla is a wonderful woman. She is much like a goddess to me.”


[User] As the boy timidly poured tea with shaking hands, he gave his answer to Al’s question.

[Assistant] Unceremoniously spreading his butt cheeks on the finely upholstered sofa, Al was thoroughly enjoying his break. “Well, Schult, considering how much you love the Princess, I figured that’s what you’d say.” With a smirk at the boy, Al lifted the teacup he was handed. Then he softly looked up and skillfully poured the tea down the gap between his head and neck.

[User] “My table manners…do they bother ya?” Noticing Schult’s intense stare, Al set down his cup and asked him a question in a low voice.

[Assistant] Schult quietly gasped in reply.


[User] "I ain’t got any schooling. So turn a blind eye to my bad manners, okay? You can tell, can’t you?" Al roughly crossed his legs on a chair, acting even less refined than before.

[Assistant] Adamantly shook his head and said, "Like you, Sir Al, I am myself uneducated. I am not grand enough to be griping about the way you carry yourself."

[User] "Honesty is a virtue and a special privilege of children, as they say. I thought I looked the part by now, but I’ve gotta do somethin’ about what’s inside, too. So, Schult, you’re technically my senior. How long’ve you been working here?"

[Assistant] "About three long months have passed now since Princess Priscilla rescued me." Schult didn’t flinch at the sarcastic way Al called him his senior.

[User] "I’m not sure if winning the princess’s favor was a blessing or a curse."

[Assistant] "Oh, I am truly grateful that Princess Priscilla rescued me. If I had stayed in that village, I would most certainly be in the embrace of the earth by now."

[User] "Ooh, blind faith. How cute. Meanwhile, I’m over here like, racking my brain trying to figure out what’s on her mind and what kind of person she really is."

[Assistant] "A witch. Definitely a witch…" As soon as he said the word out loud, the banality of his own voice made him laugh.

[User] "Sir Al…"

[Assistant] Schult’s worried voice snapped Al out of his thoughts. The way he hugged the silver serving platter to his chest was so feminine, it was almost perverse. "Princess Priscilla chose you as her knight…didn’t she? So…you will protect her. And you are her ally… It’s okay for me to trust you, right?" Schult’s eyes latched onto him, desperately searching for an answer.

[User] Behind his helmet, Al closed his eyes.


[User] “Well, from the way you worded that question, I guess I have to answer: Don’t worry, son, I’ll take care of everything. I am the princess’s most powerful knight ever! That really wasn’t an appropriate question. It’s like, try again later, pal.” Al saw the hurt in Schult’s eyes when he answered.

[Assistant] Al felt no hesitation in betraying the look of pure innocence the boy directed at him. He would cut down anything that stood between him and his goals. To an extent, the obvious solution was necessary in achieving his dearest wish. Making the same mistake as before was the one thing he absolutely would not tolerate.


[User] The silence in the lounge was broken by the beautiful and condescending voice of a young woman. "Oh—I wondered where you’d run off to, and here I find you in the midst of a gloomy tea party.” The mistress of the house shoved the door open without knocking, the hem of her ornate dress rustling as she pushed her way through the room. Resting her ample bosom on the shelf of her folded arms, the woman closed one eye and said.

[Assistant] “Schult. A good underling is always at my side when I need him. Failing to do so because you were having tea is simply preposterous. Even more so when you’re in the company of an eccentric dandy like Al. Your cuteness is your only redeeming quality—we can’t have his filth rub off on you.”

[User] “By saying that’s his only redeeming quality, you’ve insulted him miles more than me, Princess.”

[Assistant] “Well, it’s the truth. And when I say it, that truth holds even more power. Schult has no other worth besides his looks right now. Yet that still makes him better than the other worthless plebs. However, if he keeps betraying my expectations, I shall have to rescind my gracious evaluation of him.” Priscilla looked down at the two in the lounge, spitting and snorting as she spoke.

[User] Schult’s face was pale. “I-I’ll be trying harder, Princess! S-so please…please don’t abandon me…!”

[Assistant] “Oh, don’t cry, it’s such an eyesore. Crying in hopes I’ll show some mercy is the height of stupidity. No underling of mine shall act like an ordinary pleb. Keep proving your worth to me, boy.”

[User] As she roundly criticized his show of fear, Schult quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve. His eyes were still faintly red and puffy, but Priscilla nodded in approval at the determined way he looked up at her. "Good little pleb. If you don’t have the grit to change your tune, you’re no better than a corpse. Now, a corpse could fertilize the soil if buried, but we can’t let the dead wander the earth, can we? I won’t have you suck up all my air.


[User] “Take each breath like it’s your last, boy.”

[Assistant] “Well that’s just heartless…and if Schult breathes that desperately, he’ll hyperventilate and die.” As Schult began to breathe hard, an intense look in his eyes, Al looked at Priscilla and shrugged.

[User] “Princess—he’s just a kid. It wouldn’t hurt to show him a little kindness now and again.”

[Assistant] “In this world, uncertainty rains down upon us all, young and old, man and woman alike. Does hunger and famine sort people by size? Does the hand of plague discriminate between the classes? As living beings, we are all equals. As long as you aren’t imprisoned in an iron cage, relying on others for your own peace of mind is only delaying the inevitable.”

[User] “Princess?” As Priscilla spat out those harsh words, lines of irritation rose on her beautiful face. Al couldn’t shake the feeling that the source of her irritation came from the second half of what he had said. But before he could pinpoint what exactly her irritation was, Priscilla’s expression changed.

[Assistant] “All living things are equal—with the exception of me, of course.”

[User] “Princess…” She was smiling. With a smile more seductive and crueler than anything in this world, Priscilla spat those words out quietly. It was her mantra, which Al had heard her say many times since he began service as her knight.

[Assistant] “This world bends itself to suit me.” It was the source of her self-confidence—the highest words that put her very existence on a pedestal.

[User] “Now, Schult, as I just said, if all things in this world are made to suit my needs…then if I am thirsty, do you know what would suit my needs?”

[Assistant] “Y-yes, Princess. I’ll pour your tea straight away!”

[User] “Nonsense. The contents of that pot are surely cold. And it would be treason to suggest I drink the rest of Al’s cup. Your head will fly.”

[Assistant] “P-please have mercy! I’ll brew a new pot right away!” And Schult flew out of the lounge, hugging the teapot to his chest.

[User] As Al listened to his tiny footsteps disappear into the distance, he shrugged at the smirking Priscilla and said, “That’s some rotten personality you’ve got there, Princess.”

[Assistant] “A calm butler who goes about his work with ease is nice and all, but his childish fluster is also appealing to me. If I wanted a normal butler, why would I go out of my way to pick an orphan off the street? I think Schult will prove a good antidote to the boredom that plagues me.”

[User] “Poor kid… Winning your interest was a calamity.”

[Assistant] “‘Calamity,’ my foot. He gets to talk with me and serve me in person. The men of this world would cry tears of blood and lash out in starved desperation for such good fortune. Not an orphan in this world is more blessed than he.” Legitimatizing the way she abused Schult, Priscilla spoke words that were laced with a demand that Al give her gratitude for the same kindness.


[User] But Al answered her hungry gaze with a lackluster “Sure, whatever.”

[Assistant] “You disrespectful oaf. It appears you’ve forgotten the time I almost severed your head on a whim. Well…no matter. By the by, Al.”

[User] “What is it, Princess?”

[Assistant] "Your cunning plan… Is it well underway?” Her tone was so icy that Al stopped breathing and looked at Priscilla. The way she had sent Schult away and made sure nobody was around before she changed the subject was a testament to her shrewdness. The sneaky way she had casually dropped a bomb on the conversation was just as shocking as if a real explosion had happened in front of his face. If he hadn’t run a simulation on this scenario before it actually happened, he would have disgraced himself.

[User] “It’s nothing grand enough to call a cunning plan… I’m still in the information-gathering phase. So you caught me sniffing around in secret?”

[Assistant] “My eyes, ears, and body are not only more beautiful than average—their senses are incredibly keen. What’s more, this is my land and my garden. I can hear the footsteps of the mice or beats of the insects’ wings if I feel so inclined.”

[User] “Careful—if you have too much control over everything here, old man Lyp will cry.”

[Assistant] “That fossil? Let him cry himself dry—I couldn’t care less.” While it was doubtful they had a loving relationship to begin with, hearing her speak so brutally about her husband was rather sad. But now was no time for Al to concern himself over the future of their sham marriage.

[User] “What if you don’t like guys creeping around you? Are you gonna whip me?” He knew no punishment from Priscilla would be so lenient, but it would be a problem for her to suspect him of treason. He should not, however, discount the option of using his trump card against Priscilla—

[Assistant] “No. I won’t throw a fit over a man merely poking around my house. After all, I imagined such a scenario when I welcomed an insubordinate animal like you into my home.” —but his vigilance was thrown off its target by Priscilla’s unexpected answer.

[User] “You really don’t care?”

[Assistant] “All men desperately sniff around wherever I’ve been, hoping to inhale a particle of my scent. How can I find fault in a man for losing his way in the fog of desire? Besides…” As Al stood there, perplexed, Priscilla shot him a sideways glance that held a chilling allure, then said, “Lowly scum like you with a precarious position in life must choose carefully the riverbank at which you dock your boat. Finding fault in you for running about aimlessly in search of ascertainment would be as foolish as commanding a bird not to fly.”

[Assistant] “It has been a scant few days since I first met you, a mere sword-slave-turned-mercenary. And you think I believe your loyalty already rests entirely in me, body and soul? Only an idealistic idiot would."


[User] "That would require a severe abandonment of reason." As Priscilla snapped her bitter insults at him, the tension in Al’s body slowly drained away.

[Assistant] At the very least, he knew she meant every word she said. That was enough to make his judgment. "Huh…I just assumed you’d say, Comparing myself with others is blasphemy. You all should be grateful to lose yourselves in the glory of my beauty, or something like that.”

[User] "Only if I lacked self-confidence would I fear your gaze wandering elsewhere. I am confident that I am the most supreme being in this entire world. Therefore, I have no need for such fear." Pulling a fan from her cleavage, Priscilla loudly snapped it open and continued, “I am the most beautiful jewel in the world—I’ve no doubt of that—but to say I am supreme, I must first acknowledge that there are other jewels to be compared with. To fully understand my greatness, one must first compare me with the other plebs. Your hesitation to accept me was born out of a need to confirm my greatness. A roundabout way of praising me, no less. Well? Are you impressed by my outrageously clever deduction?”

[Assistant] “Yeah…it’s outrageous, all right.”

[User] Priscilla hid her lips behind her open fan, but her smile could not be contained.

[Assistant] It took Al a moment to give her outspoken arrogance a nod of agreement. But Priscilla did not rebuke his moment’s hesitation. Because she deemed doing so to be pointless. And Al was so shaken up that he didn’t notice this. He felt like he had just been sucker punched. The young woman standing before him looked different from before. As for what she looked like now…


[User] "Princess Priscilla! So sorry for the delay! I have brought your tea!”

[Assistant] “Too late! !” But before Al could come up with an answer, Schult burst through the door into the room. Priscilla’s angry roar greeted him as Schult’s dangerously trembling hands set out the tea. Priscilla lowered herself into an empty sofa beside him, making a show of crossing her white legs in wait. And as he watched his invulnerable mistress and the red-faced boy serving her, Al sank even deeper into his thoughts.


[User] Al frowned at the smell wafting into his helmet. This was his second time in the library, and the last time he was there, he’d had a similar reaction. The air was stuffy and ripe with the distinctive odor of old books. Al might have been able to tolerate that combination, if not for the stench of perfume that had been heavily applied in an attempt to mask more offensive smells, and the person responsible, whose stench had seeped into the room beyond repair. The resulting stink made others hesitant to ever enter the library.

[Assistant] "You’re late." His motivation already sapped by the fumes that greeted him, Al grew even wearier when the brusque voice barked at him. His zero motivation had dipped into the negatives.


[User] If this was a person he could afford to be rude to, he would have already escaped out the door long ago.

[Assistant] “You’re late.” He repeated the rebuke without changing a word. Filled with contempt, the gravelly voice was seeking some response from the annoyed Al. Dissatisfied with a simple rebuke, he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had broken the man’s spirit. He was a very small man. “You’re—”

[User] “Do forgive me, my lord. Your house is so big, it took me a lot of door-opening before I could respond to your sudden summons. Oh—did you say something just now?” In forcing a third rebuke out of the old man, Al earned an unabashedly ill-humored click of the tongue. Finding relief in that reaction, Al took another good look at the man in the library. The old man was surrounded by bookshelves on either side, and he sat at an ebony desk. Al heard the man was not quite seventy, but his energetic physique suggested a man of fifty. His eyes, brimming with vigor, played a big part in this, and his straight spine and muscled body made him look rather distinguished. Though, the vulgar and selfishly materialistic personality contrasting with his appearance was lethal. The old man’s name was Baron Lyp Bariel. He was the head of the House of Bariel and the husband of the red woman, Priscilla. Since to Al, he was formally the partner of the woman he pledged his sword to, it could be said that he was a man to whom Al owed his respect. (Though, Al never considered him someone deserving of that respect.)

[Assistant] “I hear you’ve been indulging in the carefreeness of that girl, wandering about the lands daily.”

[User] “And who do you mean by that girl, my lord?”

[Assistant] “Damn fool, who else would I mean—? My wife, Priscilla, of course!”

[User] “Yes, of course. I mean, now it’s clear to me. You see, my mother told me that when a husband no longer calls his wife by her name, that means his affections for her have gone cold.” In his mind, Al laughed at the fuming old man while he gave a random answer.

[Assistant] “I heard you’re a sword slave. Do you even remember your parents?”

[User] “Contrary to popular belief, not all of Volakia’s sword slaves are born in the fighting arenas. Most of them became sword slaves as adults because they were in debt or they committed crimes. But if they’re the same age, they claw their way to the top by beating one another to a pulp. That’s the punch line.”

[Assistant] “Humph. Sounds like a scene a savage empire brute would like. I can imagine how awful their tastes are.” To Al’s surprise, he found himself agreeing with Lyp’s scathing opinion. In all honesty, he did not want to remember his sword slave days.


[User] Al savored his peaceful days.

[Assistant] “Well, I couldn’t care less about you right now." Lyp grumbled. "Now, about Priscilla. That girl wanders the lands every day and does as she pleases—what do you think of this?”

[User] “I think she has odd taste. It doesn’t exactly seem on-brand… That is, it’s not the way I’d imagine a dominion lord’s wife to behave. Then again, your subjects seemed to really get a kick out of it.”

[Assistant] “They get a kick out of it, you say… Humph, just morbid curiosity, that’s all. Well, that girl’s random idea brought one of the fields back to life. That’s enough to make my subjects worship her like a god. I already knew this, but there’s only so much stupidity a man can take!” Action/Narration Lyp pounded his fist on the desk and ground his teeth in anger.

[User] Al was annoyed at the idea that the old man had called him into his library just to gripe at him. “Not to defend the Princess, but you may be wrong about her idea of bringing one of the fields back to life. She has produced results in every village of yours that she has visited—even in villages with different soil conditions. Though, if you’re skeptical about her keen eye, I would agree with you.”

[Assistant] “Keen eye? A bunch of rubbish! What that girl possesses is much more repulsive. How else would rumors of her being the Bloody Bride be born?”


[User] When Lyp voiced the name out loud, Al’s shoulders froze midshrug. Seeing Al’s reaction, Lyp gave a sinister smile as if to say, At last, I’ve hit the nail on the head.

[Assistant] Bloody Bride was a label Priscilla had earned before she took on the name of Bariel. Though she was a young maiden of only twenty years, Lyp was not her first husband. He was her eighth. All seven prior marriages had been broken.

[User] The reason being the deaths of her husbands. In other words, Priscilla had a history of seven marriages ending in her husband’s death. None of her husbands’ deaths had the same cause—death in battle, death by illness, death by accident—and while Priscilla was suspected of having a hand in every death, she had escaped the consequences of that suspicion and made it to where she was today.

[Assistant] Because of this, to those who knew of her history, she was called by the ominous name of the Bloody Bride. And yet men would still line up for a chance at her hand…because Priscilla’s beauty made them forget about those ominous rumors. Ironic, really.

[User] "Without the upcoming royal selection, I wouldn’t have dared put such a cunning vixen under my roof. She’ll smile sweetly at you one minute, then sass you the next without any limitation. The contest she held to appoint you her knight was an example of that."

[Assistant] "Wow…you sure don’t mince words, do you? Aren’t you worried I’ll tell her what you said and sour your marriage?"

[User] Lyp’s resentment was on full display in both his words and in his malicious gaze. The royal selection was a big to-do that shook Lugunica. It was a period of trials before the ritual with the Holy Dragon that selected a new monarch to replace the royal family, who had been wiped out by disease.

[Assistant] As Lyp oversaw the prophecy that foretold the kingdom’s future, he had acquired information about the royal selection before the royal family fell ill. So as a preemptive measure, he’d taken Priscilla—who qualified as a candidate—as his wife in an attempt to gain supreme executive power over the kingdom through her.

[User] Lyp had somehow known Al would not draw his sword and strike him down on the spot out of loyalty to Priscilla.


[User] Lyp smirked deviously at Al, who was obviously frustrated. "Would you really do something so foolish? A mercenary shrewdly chases after what will benefit him. I doubt a former sword slave like you would risk throwing his life away over a trivial thing like loyalty."

[Assistant] "Well…that’s very astute of you." Al said, lowering his hand from his sword hilt to accentuate his lack of adversarial intent to Lyp. "But what exactly do you want with me, then? I assume you’ve got big plans in mind, but I doubt it’s anything I can help ya with."

[User] "Not at all true. You wouldn’t be standing where you are now without my approval, after all. In that chaotic contest full of barbarians, the other four who’d been at the top with you were my pawns."

[Assistant] "Phew, talk about a rigged match."

[User] "And that girl’s whims practically ruined it. I need to make sure as many people as possible in that girl’s circle agree with me. I think you know why that is." If Priscilla’s reckless abandon could not be calculated, he had to control those around her if there was any hope in correcting her course when the need arose. It was an inevitable chain of events. But then that begged the question…

[Assistant] "What about her servant Schult? The princess picked him up off the street herself, remember?"

[User] "I’ve had the same conversation with him as I’m having with you now. As a recent orphan, luxury is entirely out of his reach… All I had to do was promise him some wealth, and he flew to my side before I could count to two. Just goes to show what that girl’s judge of character amounts to."

[Assistant] "Oooh." Al remembered how Schult had waxed poetic about doing anything for Priscilla. Still, it didn’t surprise him one bit. Putting one’s own needs first was human nature. If someone’s loyalty was born only out of kind treatment, it was only natural that their heart would be swayed by someone who treated them with more kindness. And Al was no exception to this rule.

[User] "All right, Master, I think I know now what you want from me. So I’d like for you to tell me what benefits I’ll receive and what you want me to do for you, moving forward."

[Assistant] "Heh-heh… Good, that’s what I wanted to hear. I’ll do no harm to you or to Priscilla. For my plan to succeed, it’s vital that she remain in good health. That girl…and the boy…and you… I want for you all to be happy and content under my care, you see!" Lyp cheerfully chuckled, pleased by Al’s answer.

[User] Al murmured quietly under his breath, "Sorry, Princess," to the mistress he was about to betray. But even in his mind, the image of Priscilla that appeared in the back of his mind smirked proudly, as if she had won.


[User] With a fearless face and a valiant gaze, he was a very handsome man. His golden hair sparkled in the sunlight, and his slender yet muscular frame held an elegance quite different from Al’s bulky body. His well-made knight’s clothing brought out his charms, and the jewelry on the sword hanging from his belt was not just for show. Even an amateur could see that clearly. From head to toe, he was a true and elite knight—this was the impression the young Gilian gave.

[Assistant] "He’s the third-eldest son of the House of Endymion. While his two elder brothers help their father run the family lands, he departed on a quest to make a name for himself as a swordsman. And he’s asked the master of the house today if he may sojourn here." Introducing the handsome man.

[User] Gazing uninhibitedly at the knight. "I understood your simple speech, but I don’t see the meaning in introducing such a person to me. Unless—understanding your old life is coming to an end—you’re trying to get me interested in some other man. Surely, you haven’t lost your mind."

[Assistant] "Don’t be ridiculous. What kind of man would give up a beautiful wife like you? Consider our welcoming him today to be a small kindness on my part, making his wish come true."

[User] "A small kindness? That doesn’t sound like you." She showed no sign whatsoever of believing Lyp. While on the surface, the baron maintained a certain level of peace and calm, he was visibly angry inside.

[Assistant] "My lord and lady, I apologize most humbly for my sudden intrusion and my insolent request." Gilian bowed elegantly, his smooth, deep voice sounding almost feminine.

[User] "However, ever since I heard rumors of Lady Priscilla on the Bariel baronry, I have longed for the day that I should meet you. And now I am basking in the manifestation of celestial beauty." He dropped to one knee before Priscilla.

[Assistant] "Well, well…at least you’ve got good manners. Yes, my beauty is indeed not of this world. It is an anomaly, descended from eternity. What a sinful maiden I am." As Gilian sung her praises, Priscilla cheerfully glanced at Al, who was standing behind her carrying out his duties.

[User] Shrugged in place of a cynical smile.

[Assistant] "Very well. Out of the goodness of my heart, I shall let you pay homage to me, sir knight. Consider it a blessing." Priscilla said curtly, quietly extending her hand.

[User] "I shall. I am blessed and grateful." Gilian handled her white fingertips like glass, then kissed her hand. That sight alone was more than enough to make it seem like the final scene of some fairy tale.


[User] “Now, geezer, this man you’ve brought home received my preliminary approval, but what do you want from his visit? You mentioned showing kindness earlier…”

[Assistant] “It’s quite simple. I’ve been very busy with work as of late, so I can’t accompany you when you tour our lands. I’ve been worried all that time that wandering about alone would irritate you.”

[User] “Though he looks like a clown, I do have Al—and you would only get in the way if you came along anyway. I am in no mood to babysit you. No thank you very much.” Where Lyp carefully chose his words, Priscilla let the insults fly with reckless abandon.

[Assistant] Veins began to pop on Lyp’s balding forehead, but the old man didn’t let his smile fade. "Now, don’t say that. What I meant to say was that to keep you company during the day while I can’t, I’ve brought this nice young man for you. He is a true gentleman. Very kind with women. I’m sure you’ll like him.”

[User] “If I may be so bold, Lady Priscilla, I shall make every endeavor to live up to my reputation. I would be honored to serve you, if I may.” Just as Lyp was about to lose his self-control, Gilian stepped up to cover for him. Unlike Lyp, there was nothing forced about Gilian’s sincerity.

[Assistant] Priscilla tilted her head left and right in thought. Then with a glance at Al, she said, “Very well. If nothing else, I suppose it’s not a bad thing to have a better-looking man than this walking helmet to look at. Your proposal is well received.”

[User] “…You’ve made a good choice. Sir Gilian, take good care of my wife.”

[Assistant] “Yes, my lord! On my life.” It was a rather exaggerated and theatrical way of putting it, but this resonated surprisingly well with Priscilla. Gilian had brought his land dragon with him—a beautiful dragon with blue scales. Handling the creature elegantly, he straddled it with Priscilla at her coaxing. With his white teeth gleaming, Gilian dashingly steered the dragon past the mansion and into the distance.


[User] “Good, they’re finally gone. That hateful hag always says things that makes me grind my teeth.” When the two were finally gone, Lyp sighed, letting all the tension drain from his shoulders.

[Assistant] Al chuckled softly at his fast change of tune. Then he looked in the direction where Priscilla and Gilian had disappeared and said, “Gilian Endymion… Is he one of your pawns, too, Master?”

[User] “Of course he is. But unlike my other pawns, Gilian needed a different kind of finesse. I went out of my way to ask the distant House of Endymion for help. It took a lot of time to work out this plan.


[User] "Unlike that tournament of hers, where she didn’t care where a man was from so long as he was a strong fighter, it required a special kind of effort to erase any ties he and I have.”

[Assistant] “You are thorough in all ways with your schemes, I see. I respect you for that, Master, truly.”

[User] "Humph. And in helping with my scheme, you’re no different. Now come. I must speak with you about why I had Gilian meet with that girl, and what the next phase of the plan is.”

[Assistant] Lyp nodded, the hem of his robe swishing as he returned into the mansion.

[User] Following behind him, Al paused and turned to look into the direction Priscilla had flown. And though this should have been obvious, he couldn’t see a trace of her.


[Assistant] Breathing through his mouth to avoid the foul stench his nose could never adjust to, Al pondered that.

[User] “There’s no telling what prying ears might be hiding in my study. This library alone is safe. For generations, the Bariels have used this library to conduct secret meetings.”

[Assistant] “I reckon things are getting pretty busy at the royal capital right now,” Al offered.

[User] “The castle is in utter chaos, like they didn’t see it coming. They should have known long ago that this kingdom and the royal bloodline are practically beyond salvation. But they turned a blind eye to the problem and put off arrangements for their kingdom’s future, and now the chickens are coming home to roost. Those inept bastards. They have no idea what they’re doing!” Lyp’s hackles rose higher and higher as he spoke, the veins on his forehead popping. Looking as though he might blow an artery any second, he had only just revealed the prophecy of which he had spoken days prior. News of the royal family’s demise spread throughout the city, and the higher nobles were already on the move toward enacting the royal selection. But they were all a couple steps behind Lyp.

[Assistant] "I thought you’d enjoy one-upping the people you hate?”

[User] “Well, I thought I would. But the only thing it’s done is made me resent those fools even more for giving me the cold shoulder all this time. Council of Elders, my ass. Just a gaggle of senile fools whose only qualifications are title and age.


[User] “Gee, you sound angry, my lord.” Al had been the one to steer the conversation in that direction, but trash-talking people he didn’t know still bored him. Giving lackluster replies, Al stole a glance at Schult, who was shrinking back in a corner of the room. He didn’t seem to understand what he was doing there. He had been staring at the floor since he got there.

[Assistant] “Now, enough griping about the fools at the capital. It’s a waste of time. The royal selection is at long last here. We must talk about that.”

[User] “Did you tell them the princess is one of the candidates?”

[Assistant] “Of course. I have to tell them that the account on the Dragon Tablet is genuine. They’ll need to know that the candidates’ Lugunica badges must shine to prove this. Ideally, I would have given the shining task to Priscilla so I could claim that she was the first in line. However…” With a cynical smirk, Lyp cut off.

[User] “Right when I announced the prophecy, a badge of one of the higher nobles shone. One of the candidates being there was my only miscalculation.”

[Assistant] “Dang, whoever that person is, they’re pretty lucky. By the way, whose badge shone?”

[User] “Duchess Karsten…Crusch Karsten. Little brat, shamelessly taking the title from her father even though she’s nothing but a girl. She’s a savage sword-lover and a famous weirdo who drags an eccentric servant around with her. What did the badge see in her, I wonder? Well…I suppose that’s a pointless question, seeing as how Priscilla was also chosen.” As the old man sighed, Al smirked. The exact same thought had crossed his mind.

[Assistant] “By the way, Master, how did you discover the Princess was a candidate?”

[User] “…I am under no obligation to tell you that. I spoke too much, but don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. All you need to do is follow my orders. The matter is closed.”

[Assistant] “…Very well.” Al said, obediently backing off.

[User] When Lyp saw the compliant look on Al’s quiet face, he exhaled long and hard out his nose. Then the old man clicked his tongue at the boy standing in the corner of the room and said, “Are you going to be there forever? I’ve made time in my busy schedule to speak with you.


[User] “Maybe try standing at attention instead of shriveling into a corner.”

[Assistant] “Y-yes, my lord… Please excuse me…” Schult marched over to the ebony desk in the back of the room where Lyp was seated.

[User] Seeing a stack of books from the case on the floor, Al plunked his bottom down onto it. "I won’t drag this out longer than it needs to be. Back to the topic at hand—Gilian. My plan is to appoint him as Priscilla’s knight.”

[Assistant] “Whoa, whoa, hold up, Master. What happens to me, then?” Al interjected, raising a hand. “The only reason I get to live here is because I’m the Princess’s knight.”

[User] “Don’t worry, I won’t throw you out. I never toss out valuable pawns that easily, and it would be a bother keeping your mouth shut otherwise. I will make a place for you here at my house, though not as a knight. You don’t need to worry.”

[Assistant] “It’s not that part I’m worried about…but why do you need to go through all the trouble to swap out knights? Of course, I’m sure the fact that he’s your pawn is a big part of it…”

[User] “Oh, it’s quite simple. The people prefer a person in power with a knight who looks the part. Gives a better impression. Since we’re in a place where non-royalty will ascend the throne, public support will not be given unconditionally as it has in the past. Foolish and simpleminded peasants need an image that is easy to understand and that they can be enthusiastic about.”

[Assistant] During Lyp’s fervent speech, Al raised a surprisingly respectful eyebrow. In other words, it was a branding campaign. By assigning a photogenic knight to the princess, she would make a better impression on the masses. In a competition where candidates would vie for the throne, this would have an impact that couldn’t be ignored. It was narrow-minded, of course, but setting that aside—

[User] “You’ll stoop to any low to increase her chances of winning. I really respect you for that.”

[Assistant] “I don’t care for the way you phrased that, but no matter. Gilian is a perfect representation of what the peasants think a knight should be—I have no complaints. And going just off looks, Priscilla was attracted to him at first glance—abominably so. All the advance preparations are rock-solid.”

[User] “Uhh, except we’ve got just one little problem.” He was raining on the old man’s parade, but Al did have his doubts about his overly confident scheme. Facing the old man’s ill-tempered gaze, Al fiddled with the metal mechanisms of his helmet as he explained, “Aren’t you worried she’ll overturn your proposal? She appointed me her knight herself through that exhibition she held. I’m just a bit concerned that this is a matter where she won’t be flexible.”

[Assistant] “Oh, so that’s all.


[User] "That’s a silly concern; don’t worry about it.” With a scoff at Al’s comments, Lyp drummed his fingers on the desk. "He’s a handsome knight, and you’re a clown in a helmet—I think you already know who that girl will choose. Unless you have a reason to be confident she would prefer you over him?”

[Assistant] “Weeeell, not exactly. His game is better than mine, ten times out of ten. Not to mention, if it came down to a sword fight, it’s possible he’d beat me there, too.”

[User] "See? There you have it.” Giving Al’s pathetic answer a satisfied nod, Lyp leaned back in his desk chair with a creak.

[Assistant] Al got the gist of what the old man’s plan entailed. It was all things he could agree with. Except… “Um, M-Master…” While Al rationalized the plan.

[User] somebody else timidly raised a questioning hand. “What? You want a turn to shit on my scheme, too, boy?”

[Assistant] “N-not at all, Master! Um, it’s j-just that… Well, Princess Priscilla is…” Shrinking under Lyp’s harsh gaze, Schult gulped. “You aren’t going to be hurting her, are you, Master? You’re doing this for her… You’ve thought everything through to make her the monarch, right?”

[User] “Ah…so that’s your concern. Don’t bother me with trivial things. I’ve told you my end goal many times. I need Priscilla for my plan, so why would I harm her?” Lyp scoffed at Schult’s very age-appropriate worry. “It’s my job to open the path for that girl to ascend the throne. And if she happens to resist the royal selection, I will urge her to participate. Consider that your job as well, both of you.”

[Assistant] “Well, based on her personality, I can’t imagine a universe where she would bow out of the royal selection.” For one thing, she always accepted any challenge thrown at her, and for another, she spoke as if this world were made for her. If she was presented with a way to gain control of the kingdom legally, of course she would take it. Al smirked as he imagined Priscilla obliviously marching her way up to the throne.

[User] “Is that so, Master? W-well, I’m glad to hear it…” Schult also seemed relieved by Lyp’s answer. Even though he was helping Lyp for a reward, it seemed he had not lost the indebtedness he felt after Priscilla rescued him. Priscilla would win the throne, and he would win a reward. To the boy, it was a win-win. However, the exhilarated emotions of the two servants…

[Assistant] "She’s difficult to handle, but if I make her my puppet with a curse, I can manipulate her at will. I’ll sit my puppet on the throne, and the kingdom shall be mine, as it should be.”

[User] “……What?” Unable to grasp the meaning of it, Schult could only whisper hoarsely.


[User] With a vicious smile on his face, the old man shrugged in reply. “What, you didn’t hear me? That girl’s troublesome sense of self will only hinder me. I turned a blind eye to her antics before, but once the royal selection has officially started, each and every move she makes will fall under heavy scrutiny; I cannot let her run wild and do whatever she wants. So after the announcement at the castle, I’ll take away her consciousness and make her my puppet.”

[Assistant] “…Are you even capable of that?”

[User] “Yes, I doubt either of you could imagine it. This world is filled with demands hideous beyond imagination. And there are convenient persons who help mediate with shamans. This connection of mine goes a long way back.” Lyp’s scheme was realistic, not that of fairy tales. He would use a shaman to steal Priscilla’s sense of self. It seemed entirely possible.

[Assistant] “Th-this isn’t what we signed up for!” Schult’s voice cracked.

[User] “Didn’t you just promise you wouldn’t hurt Princess Priscilla? !”

[Assistant] “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do anything to her. All I said is I would not harm her. If that girl is harmed, I can kiss the throne good-bye. I have no intentions of harming her body. Really, I don’t see the problem.”

[User] “But if Princess Priscilla… If she stops being herself…then what’s the point…? !”

[Assistant] Lyp turned a displeased face toward Schult, who was shivering. “Oh, cut the noble bullshit, boy. I bought you with the promise of a reward. You have already betrayed her. You have no right to plead on her behalf after everything you’ve done. What, unless that girl’s allure bewitched you, too? There is nothing more shameful for a man than falling victim to a prostitute’s spell…but it does give me an idea.” With a disgusting smile on his lips, Lyp rose to his feet and leaned over his desk, bringing his face close to Schult’s. “If you want to have your way with that girl, I’ll let you—after she’s on the throne. I don’t understand what you see in those lumps of fat, but I suppose you animals are drooling at the idea?”

[User] “!” Red in the face from the insults, Schult reached his dainty arms toward Lyp’s neck.

[Assistant] Lyp easily dodged him, grabbing a pistol lying on his desk and whipping Schult in the chest with it. “Attacking your Master… This is why I hate hiring undisciplined stray dogs.” Lyp looked down at Schult, who was writhing and moaning on the floor from the merciless beating.


[User] “Oh…yes, sir, right away!” His face twisting in pain, Schult ran for his life toward the door and shot out of the room, not looking back. He made a wise decision.

[Assistant] Lyp sneered. “Just how foolish can you both be?! Why do you think I summoned only the two of you to the library? Everyone else in this mansion is already my coconspirator. If he leaves the library, that boy’s fate is sealed!”

[User] “Dang, you’re thorough. But fate’s a fickle bitch. What if, say, I take you hostage…?”

[Assistant] “You think you can restrain me, boy? I didn’t make a name for myself on the battlefield as a young man for nothing. Not even Bordeaux can get the best of me in battle!” The violent spirit surging from Lyp as he howled showed that he wasn’t just all bark. The pistol in his hand was a metia. It likely sapped magic power from his servants. It was a simple effect, but because of it, there was no way to fight against it. Comparing their stats, Al immediately realized he was not at an advantage. And that meant—

[User] “All the criteria have been met. Now nothing’s holding me back from using my trump card.”

[Assistant] “You fool…”

[User] “Yeah, I’m a fool. And this isn’t personal, old man. You were just unlucky… No, scratch that—” Al cut off there and smirked, a cynical echo in his voice. “You were born under a bad star.”

[Assistant] With a grunt, Lyp raised his pistol without hesitation and unleashed his magic energy. Traveling through the palm of his hand and through his pistol, his mana reached overwhelming power levels. The burst of magic that shot from the tip of his metia was over five times stronger than usual. It made direct contact with the torso of the joking helmeted knight, exploding in the center of his warped body. The foul stench of burning flesh filled the room, and flecks of scattered gore dotted the library shelves. With a loud crash, the head, helmet, and liuyedao rolled on the floor. Lyp gave a bored look at the carnage. “‘Trump card’? Hah. Rubbish. Everything about that man was rubbish.” Darting through the bloody library, Lyp headed for the door. The chances of Schult rendezvousing with Priscilla were slim, but there would be a problem if he did. He had to find the boy and dispose of him as soon as possible. Thinking this, Lyp reached for the doorknob.


[User] “You were born under a bad star.”

[Assistant] “Hmmf? !” Lyp whirled around in shock at the unexpected voice. And there was a man, standing with his back to Lyp. He was wearing a helmet and holding a liuyedao in his one arm—

[User] “Huh? Where did he—?”

[Assistant] “GRAAAH!! !” Ignoring the goofy man’s voice, Lyp sent magic into his pistol and burned the man to death again. The flames scorched him to a crisp, and his helmet crumbled to pieces as he screamed.


[User] Carnage soiled the walls and floor of the library once more, and Lyp recoiled at the confusing scene before him.

[Assistant] “Wh-what is this? What just… What just happened…?” Realizing he was trembling, Lyp breathed slowly in and out. His forehead was soaked with cold sweat. Roughly wiping it with his sleeve, the old man looked up, trying to make sense of the situation and—

[User] “You were born under a bad star.”

[Assistant] “You were born under a bad star.” He heard it. The voice, pounding against his earlobes.

[User] “Huh? Where did he go?” Before his eyes, the man who lost his enemy looked right and left. Then he turned around, noticed the man sitting behind and looking up at him, and readjusted his liuyedao.

[Assistant] “Huh—you’re not in the mood anymore. From the way you look…guess it was the aggressor pattern this time. Now I get it. Dang, you’ve really got the worst luck, man.” With a sympathetic tone in his voice, the man crouched before the old man slumped on the floor. He was drooling, not even trying to look up at the man crouching above him.

[User] “You were so healthy just a second ago, but ya aged quite a bit all at once. I’ve got no idea how many times we’ve done this, but I hope ya didn’t snuff it just from the second time? Not like there’s any way for me to check that.”

[Assistant] “ll me.”

[User] “Hmm?” The helmeted man gave the murmuring old man a confused look.

[Assistant] The man jerkily lifted his face to look up at the man. "Kill me…please…” The old man yearned for it, as if that was his only salvation.

[User] The helmeted man shrugged in pity over the old man’s desperate wish. “Poor guy. Guess a lack of appreciation for horny cuteness is enough to cause an eternal crash.” The helmeted man rose to his feet, lightly gripped his liuyedao, and aimed for the old man’s neck. Then the blade swung uncertainly, sending the old man’s head flying in the air, an arc of bright-red blood trailing behind it. At long last, the old man’s nightmare—

[Assistant] “You were born under a bad star.” —didn’t end.


[User] Al dragged Lyp out of the library. His hair had completely fallen out, and his eyes were sunken in. He was murmuring deliriously, drooling profusely. The old man had completely lost his mind. “Y’know, I feel kinda guilty about this. Wonder why.” As he dragged the old man’s heavy body, Al was making himself cringe. Neutralizing without killing—in the long run, neutralizing was the optimal solution, but how was this any less vicious than what Lyp had schemed for Priscilla?

[Assistant] “Well, better it happen to a shitty old geezer than a hot chick. That definitely takes the edge off.” Quickly justifying his own actions, Al continued to the front hall of the mansion.


[User] “…Sir Al!”

[Assistant] Just as Al reached the grand staircase in the front hall, which connected the first two floors of the house, he heard a voice calling him from below. He looked and saw a crowd of servants gathered in the front hall, with Schult standing in front of the door.

[User] "My, you sure caused a ruckus in my absence." With her hand on her hip and the knight by her side, she appeared needlessly pompous. She gazed up at Al on the stairs, gave a pouting snort.

[Assistant] "Al, stop staring down at me like that, you disrespectful oaf. Come down at once and explain what happened during my absence."

[User] “Uhh…copy that. I’ll come down when I feel like it.”

[Assistant] "That sounds like a man who has no intention of coming down." Priscilla winked one eye, forgiving Al for his little joke at the top of the grand staircase.

[User] “Now wait just a minute, Lady Priscilla! Hasn’t that man in the helmet done something to Baron Lyp?” Gilian pointed.

[Assistant] “Mmm? Well, would you look at that? That’s the old geezer Al’s dragging. What happened, then? Did that geezer finally despair over his own stupidity and hang himself?”

[User] Al smirked at her behavior as he hoisted Lyp up. "Nope, not dead. Well, his body is not dead, if we’re gonna be technical about it. But his soul seems to have died suddenly.”

[Assistant] “Sudden death?” Priscilla asked in acceptance, completely devoid of emotion.

[User] "Well, he is at that age. That sort of thing happens to the elderly."

[Assistant] “Do you honestly expect me to let those dumb excuses slide? !” He took a step in front of Priscilla, drew the sword from his belt, and thrust it toward Al, who was still on the stairs.

[User] “You monster… I overlooked your grotesque appearance because I heard you were Lady Priscilla’s servant. But it appears you were a fool I should not have allowed to walk free. What you did to Baron Lyp is heinous.”

[Assistant] “Again, dude’s not dead.”

[User] “However! Those poisoned fangs of yours shall never bare themselves at Lady Priscilla. From this day forth, I shall take on the task of being her protector!” As Gilian huffed and puffed, he further solidified his image as a champion of justice.

[Assistant] Meanwhile, Al on the staircase looked like a villain (in part because he was holding a living corpse in his arms). Every servant in the hall held their breath and waited to see how things would play out. Having said that, the only one of them who was truly worried for Al was Schult. All the other servants were Lyp’s pawns.


[User] Even if Gilian did manage to push through, their future prospects were quite grim. And the conditions for Al’s trump card had not been met yet. What should I do now? he mused to himself.

[Assistant] "It would seem you’ve accepted you are at a disadvantage. Then die honorably by my sword. I don’t know what sort of nefarious scheme you’ve concocted, but I shall ensure Lady Priscilla’s safety from now on. I shall give her days of constant peace and make her a happy bride!" Energized, Gilian took a step forward, aiming to kill Al in one fell swoop. But just before his first foot could kick off the ground running—

[User] "Days of constant peace—how boring." Priscilla yawned. Then she stabbed Gilian in the back with her crimson sword.

[Assistant] "Wha…? Ah? !" Gilian fell onto the stairs with a shocked cry, a gaping wound in his back.

[User] Priscilla kicked him onto his back and thrust the tip of her blade at the horrified man’s handsome nose. "I was looking forward to see what kind of line you’d use to try to seduce me, but now I see you’re a boring man both on dragon-back and in a duel. And the final nail in the coffin—you wish to gift me days of constant peace? You are lord of the plebs."

[Assistant] "What…are you…?"

[User] "What value is there in a tomorrow just like today? Constant anything is boring. Show me something novel and new. And if you can’t do that, then you can go ahead and die, rot, become fertilizer, and then become a tree so I won’t have to look at you anymore, damn fool." Priscilla rained merciless insults down upon the man who had been intent on courting her favor.

[Assistant] "Whoa…" Gilian’s body suddenly burst into flame on the stairs. The flames, igniting from the wound in his back, shrouded the handsome man—Gilian Endymion—in an inferno from which he could not escape. His throat set ablaze, Gilian could not even cry out in anguish as he burned away.

[User] "Princess…don’t ya think maybe we should put him out before the house catches fire?"

[Assistant] "Nonsense. Those flames were born from my Sunlight Blade. It burns only what I tell it to."

[User] Al could only sigh tiredly at her usual exceptionalism. "Well, I guess only an idiot would be surprised by your sleight of hand by now, Princess. But anyway, what’re we gonna do about all this mess, burning man included?"

[Assistant] "I dislike the stench of burning flesh, no matter how many times I smell it."


[User] “You lot, dispose of it.” Without hesitation, the servants Priscilla commanded whisked away Gilian, who was now a completely blackened lump.

[Assistant] “Lemme guess, Princess…you knew what the old fart was plotting all along?”

[User] “From the very start, he never hid his intentions to use me to seize power in the kingdom. It wasn’t hard to imagine what sort of tactics the geezer would employ to do so. It is only natural to clip an eager moth’s wings before it can fly into a lantern.”

[Assistant] “Hardcore… You’re on a whole different level.” Al couldn’t help but laugh at the image—an old man with a deeply seated ambition that had been burning for so many years, and the hand that’d been pulling his strings all along. Not only had he lacked the support of the subjects of the baronry, he also had no true allies in the mansion, either. And the one ally he had managed to grasp was now a pile of ash. “By the way, if you were really ten chess moves ahead and were ready to do the old man in, why didn’t you tell me and Schult about it? I could’ve avoided all that weird playacting.”

[User] “Because you have no talent for it—just take a look. Schult is no better. Look how flustered he gets by the mere sight of me. It was a strain to hold myself back from laughing all those times.”


[Assistant] “Uh, um…P-Princess Priscilla…” Schult approached Priscilla and Al, who had let Lyp fall onto the stairs while they had their chat.

[User] Priscilla folded her arms to accentuate her breasts, and Schult’s eyes wandered in confusion. Perhaps the boy wanted to apologize for nearly conspiring against her. But he would have to choose his words wisely lest her wrath befall him.

[Assistant] Al was steeling himself to stand up for the boy if needed—

[User] “Thank goodness you’re all right, my lady… Sniff! I… Sniff! …I was so worried…”

[Assistant] “Hmm.”

[User] When he saw Schult’s face, wet with tears and snot, Al sighed over his own stupidity. How could he measure a boy barely over ten years old with so much foolish knowledge pushed onto him? That pitiful old geezer, who’d decided how everything should be and never bothered to look at how things were, left this world a lonely man with nobody truly on his side—he had seen it with his own eyes.

[Assistant] “Oh, Schult, you are such a lovable little fellow. Come! I’ll let you get my dress dirty just this once.”

[User] “Wapf!” Priscilla brought the sobbing Schult to her, happily wiping his face with her dress. Then she hugged the dazed boy to her bosom and turned to Al.

[Assistant] “Way to make a guy jealous.”

[User] “You should already know this, but you were right to choose me. I’ll praise you for that.”

[Assistant] “Hey, if the choices are an old fart and a horny-cute girl, I’ll choose the girl every time. Anybody would.


[User] "And I’ll do that from now on."

[Assistant] "How frank… I rather like that. Now then—" She glanced at Lyp, who was lying on the floor with glazed eyes, and gave a little snort. "In a rather sad turn of events, my legal husband has just lost his power as lord of these lands. This puts the future of the Bariel baronry in jeopardy. I have no choice but to assume the full rights and responsibilities as a member of this household. Is that not so?"


[User] "A good wife carries out the will of her beloved husband, struggling with unfamiliar bureaucratic work. The devoted acts of a beautiful girl—it’s a real tearjerker. I’m already crying."

[Assistant] "Sharp tongue you've got."

[User] "You too, Princess." The like-minded master and servant laughed and smiled in satisfaction. The matter of title was settled. It was a good start. Then there was Schult, his face pressing deep into Priscilla’s cleavage and his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

[Assistant] Priscilla took his face in both hands and ran her fingers through his hair as she said: "There, there, what's wrong, Schult? Laugh, my boy. Your beloved princess is in a great mood. So what is her underling supposed to do? You know the answer, I trust?"

[User] "Y-yes! I do know, Princess!" Standing up straight and tall, Schult carefully steadied his breath and gave a big smile. Pressing his hands to his cheeks, he forced his face into a smile. Then in the loudest voice he could muster—

[Assistant] "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha—so be it, my lady!"

[User] "Yes, quite good. Now, once you've finished laughing, do you know what it is I want next?"

[Assistant] "You will be wanting tea, my lady!"

[User] "Indeed!" Pulling her fan from her cleavage and opening it with a snap, Priscilla descended the stairs. Al followed behind her, and Schult behind him, laughing until his voice got hoarse.

[Assistant] "Goodness, this is exhilarating. I like this. After all…"

[User] As he listened to her laugh, Al realized why he had chosen her. It wasn’t all that complicated. It was really quite simple—he had been bewitched by her alluring charm.

[Assistant] "...this world bends itself to suit me."


[User] "And this is what he finished with—It’s your heart. Can you believe it? !" As Subaru snapped his fingers and flashed a smile,

[Assistant] "Ooh! That’s very romantic." Emilia clapped her hands.

[User] Subaru was entertaining Emilia with fairy tales from his world in the garden at Roswaal Manor, in the shade with a gentle breeze. Subaru told stories quite well with his vivid gestures and movements. The way Subaru constantly switched his voice to play the different roles depending on tone or gender dazzled her time and again.

[Assistant] "I’m always surprised by how many stories you know, Subaru. And they’re all stories I haven’t heard before. It’s really impressive."

[User] "Well, I’m grateful for my good memory and being born on planet Earth. Giving Emilia-tan little moments of catharsis was a sacred task entrusted to me by Hans Christian Andersen himself."

[Assistant] "Planeterth? And her son?"

[User] "It’s the name of the place I used to live and the name of a famous author of children’s fairy tales." Subaru informed the confused Emilia with a wink.

[Assistant] Emilia vaguely smiled, pretending to understand. (She figured it was unimportant anyway.) Two weeks had passed since Subaru came to stay at Roswaal Manor and helped resolve the demon beast incident. His wounds from the battle had healed, and he was already back to his regular servant duties, but he still made time to tell Emilia all sorts of stories like this during his breaks. To Emilia, who was exhausted from studying reams of unfamiliar material, Subaru’s kindness was a godsend. The stories themselves were also genuinely interesting, so she found herself longing for more every single time.

[User] "Well…now that I’ve finished that story, though it pains me greatly, I’ve got to go back to work. What about you, Emilia-tan?" Subaru asked, patting his bottom as he stood up.

[Assistant] Emilia leaned against a tree, her silver hair blowing in the breeze and mused for a while before saying, "I think I’ll stay here a bit longer."

[User] "Yeah? Gotcha, see you later then. If Ram catches me out here, she’ll wring my neck." With that little quip, Subaru jogged back to the mansion.

[Assistant] Emilia watched him, yawned and stretched. She had gotten so absorbed in her studies the night before that she had stayed up far too long. As she sat there, in the gentle breeze alone, sleepiness suddenly assaulted her.

[User] "I probably should have…gone back inside with Subaru…," Emilia whispered, as her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Admonishing herself, she let her eyelids shut…and a cozy sleepiness slowly visited her. And just like that, Emilia drifted off—


[Assistant] Emilia was yanked from her near slumber by a sudden voice. Looking up,

[User] "Er, what?" she muttered.

[Assistant] "I’m late! Emergency!


[User] "I’m not sure why, but I must hurry!” Emilia looked around for the owner of the voice. When she found him, her eyes grew wide as saucers. Emilia leaned against the tree and spotted an ash-colored cat running straight ahead on two legs. This particular cat was very familiar to Emilia, as he was like family to her. It was her spirit, Puck, racing toward her.

[Assistant] "Puck? Why are you in material form—? Hey! Wait, don’t go!”

[User] Puck, who should have fit in the palm of her hand, was about the size of a human child for some reason. As a rule, Puck could change his size at will, but he rarely did so. When she heard the panic in his voice, Emilia hastily shot to her feet, thinking something might be wrong.

[Assistant] “Ah, what good fortune. I’ll just hop down this bottomless hole!” Action: Puck didn’t even give Emilia so much as a glance and said, with darling little trotting noises, Puck deviated past Emilia and ran behind the tree. Then after a loud shout, she felt Puck’s presence grow distant.

[User] “Wait, what?! Puck! Why are you ignoring me? Aww!” Action: Hurt by the unusual treatment from her family, Emilia scurried behind the tree where he’d gone. There, she found not Puck, but a hole in the middle of an empty patch of ground.

[Assistant] “What’s a hole doing here…? Could it be that Subaru is hiding one of his treasures in here…?” Action: Emilia had basically decided the boy was guilty until proven innocent. Anyway, she carefully inched herself closer to the hole to peek down it. The dark hole was so deep that she couldn’t see the bottom. The air seemed like it might suck her in at any moment, and Emilia caught her breath in terror.

[User] “Pu-Puck? Can you hear me? If you can, please answer meee!” Action: She tried calling down the hole, but all she heard was her own voice bouncing back at her. Starting to panic, Emilia turned around to call someone in the house for help.

[Assistant] “I can’t explain anything if you’re out there, soooo come on dooown.”

[User] “Huh?” Action: Just when she heard a second familiar voice, Emilia felt somebody yank her from behind. Surprised by the sensation of a pair of arms grabbing her from the hole, she then fell, her surprise transforming into shock.

[Assistant] “No! No way! I-I’m gonna turn into a pancake!” Action: Falling headfirst into the hole, Emilia felt a chill run down her spine as she imagined her head smacking against the ground. She kicked against the wall to turn herself upright, pushing the floating hem of her skirt down as she figured out a way to safely come to a stop—but before she could, she landed on something soft.

[User] “Eeewah!” It felt like a stack of papers was cradling her. Emilia kicked and squirmed out of it.


[User] She plucked off something that was stuck to her hair and clothes. It turned out they were dead leaves. Apparently, there’d been a pile of them at the bottom of the hole and that was what had broken her fall. "Phew…that scared the living daylights out of me." But her relief was fleeting. Emilia nervously glanced at her surroundings. It looked like she was inside a hollowed-out tree trunk, but it would have to be a tree several centuries old. Plus, she was underground. "Ah! Puck!" Emilia was looking around her with a puzzled frown when she caught sight of a tiny cat in a pathway deep in the back of the space, peering out at her.

[Assistant] Puck leaped at the sound of her voice and cried out, "Oh dear, I must hurry, or I’ll be late!" glancing many times at his bare wrist in an obvious lie.

[User] "But you don’t have a watch. This little prank of yours has made me quite cross with you. Now come here!" As Emilia ran, kicking off the dried leaves as she went, Puck took off in an equally fierce dash. Emilia was startled by his speed, thinking the creature was quite out of place there. Puck’s mad dash away from her down the dark pathway made Emilia quickly lose sight of him. But she still ran with all her might, springing out of the dark pathway and into a lit room.


[User] "……Anne?" Emilia wonders why Anne would leave her a gift as she doesn't understand. "Okay, I’ll drink you." Emilia gulped the entire potion without hesitation.

[Assistant] "What if this is a potion that affects my body in some way?"…and the transformation that happened immediately after confirmed her worry. "Ah—ah—ah!" Suddenly, the room looked bigger—and bigger—and bigger.

[User] "No, the room didn’t get bigger… I got smaller." Emilia’s eyes widened as she examined the room that now seemed much larger. Then she patted her body all over and was relieved to find her clothes had shrunk with her. "I mean, people would think me strange if I walked out of here naked. But at least I can go out that door now." Emilia struck a power pose and marveled over how amazing Anne was. Then she vigorously turned the doorknob—and grunted in disappointment when she realized it was locked. She had left the key on top of the table. Where she could no longer reach. "Moping won’t solve your problem, Emilia… Okay, it’s time to climb!" Emilia rolled up her sleeves and tried to climb the leg of the table, for all her bravery, she was quite reckless. It was then that her violet eyes suddenly spotted something near the leg of the table. It was a white plate with a cookie set upon it and a one-page letter. She picked it up and read it.

[Assistant] "Oh, what’s this? Did the silly Billy forget her key?" Emilia glanced up, cookie in hand, when she heard the voice call to her from above.

[User] Puck is looking down at her from the table, the key swishing back and forth in his long tail. As he stared at Emilia with big, round eyes, there was an uncanny humanness to him.