[User] With her shoulders jumping at the surprise attack, Beatrice spun around to see several unfamiliar children tumble from the open doors. "Wh-who are they…?"

[Assistant] "Children from Earlham Village. They like Subaru, so they’ve agreed to help with the game today. What a natural-born friend Subaru is."

[User] "Now’s no time to swoon! And who said those village kids could be in here—"

[Assistant] "We got Master Roswaal’s permission before his departure."

[User] "We’ve locked the rooms they mustn’t go in, so please make sure you don’t go on the third floor of the main building, the dressing room, or the treasury." As Rem added more caution, Beatrice’s mind went blank in shock.

[Assistant] Upon seeing the petrified Beatrice, the children pointed at her in unison and yelled. "It’s the girl Subaru told us about!"

[User] "It’s the homebody!"

[Assistant] "Her dress is so cute!" Spotting their prey, they formed a pack and closed in on Beatrice.

[User] Beatrice jumped and ran the opposite way down the hall, overwhelmed by their intensity.

[Assistant] "Incidentally, those children are the people chasing you, Lady Beatrice. Good luck keeping away from them." As Rem ran beside her, murmuring the hint in her ear, Beatrice’s face turned bright red.

[User] "The little…! He is far shrewder than Betty accounted for, I suppose!"

[Assistant] "Go!"

[User] "Get her!"

[Assistant] "Take everything she’s got!" As she ran from the clamoring children, Beatrice cursed the image of a puffed-up Subaru in her head all the harder.

[User] "That mongrel… He’s not getting away with this!"


[Assistant] "Ooh! It’s Beatrice. Gotta run!"

[User] "Found you, I suppose! I won’t let you get away!"

[Assistant] She found Emilia in the west wing, but the difference in stride and nimbleness left Beatrice in the dust. However, Emilia’s means of escape was an open book. If Beatrice went the other way and cut her off—

[User] "Found you!"

[Assistant] "There she is!"

[User] "My wife!"

[Assistant] "You brats made it all the way here?! Just give up already!" But the gang of children surrounded her from every side, forcing Beatrice to turn and run in the opposite direction.

[User] There was no point in pursuing Emilia too closely if she got caught. What’s more, children were endless balls of energy. They weren’t the brightest, but in numbers and enthusiasm, they were—simply put—formidable foes.

[Assistant] "Besides, the children are the least of my problems, I suppose…!" Emilia evaded her. The children pursued her. However, unexpected though their presence was, her biggest weakness in this game of tag was her gullibility.


[User] "—That instigator has yet to show his smarmy face."

[Assistant] "Hah!" She leaped down the stairs in one jump, her skirt fluttering as she landed. She launched herself from the carpet and ran down the hall from the west wing to the main building.

[User] "Oh no!"

[Assistant] Emilia, who just happened to pop out from the room directly ahead, took off running at the sight of Beatrice.

[User] "You won’t escape, I suppose! Just surrender!"

[Assistant] "I won’t! I’m having too much fun! I want to play more! I’m still in this!"

[User] "And I’m telling you, it’s okay to quit!" The absentminded banter continued as the two ran.

[Assistant] "Found you!"

[User] "We’re here!"

[Assistant] "Saw you!"

[User] "We won!"

[Assistant] "Oh, just shut up, all of you!" Oblivious to Beatrice’s plight, the children ran for her with animalistic rage.

[User] Beatrice turned her head to look behind her and saw the children were far behind. She would catch the rabbit in front of her before they caught up to her. Beatrice the Huntress gave a triumphant shout of victory.

[Assistant] "You’re trapped, I suppose!"

[User] "Umm…umm…" Her eyes darting left and right, Emilia looked for a place to escape.

[Assistant] "Hold it! I won’t let you run into the dining hall!"

[User] "—The dining hall!"


[User] And now that the rabbit had fallen into her trap, her fate was sealed.

[Assistant] “Wait a minute, is this place—” Emilia shrieked madly when she opened the door to the dining hall and jumped inside.

[User] “It would seem that Betty was one step—nay, ten steps ahead of you! !” Convinced of her victory, Beatrice performed a sharp turn and lunged into the dining hall—the Archive of Forbidden Books. Then she reached out to the back of the petrified Emilia and—

[Assistant] “Welcome hooome!”

[User] “Ngah? !” A pair of arms dove in from the side, catching Beatrice. Both arms restrained from behind, Beatrice kicked her legs and turned around.

[Assistant] Subaru's devilishly smiling eyes met hers.

[User] Sitting primly atop the stepladder, Puck looked down at the restrained Beatrice and said mercilessly, “Game overrrr. I’m so sorry, but as you can see, Subaru wins, Betty.”

[Assistant] Emilia smiled sheepishly beside him as the children who followed her into the room high-fived in victory.

[User] Subaru loosened his hold on Beatrice, turned her to face him, and said, “What did I tell ya, Beatrice? It was a battle of shrewdness. Did you honestly think you could beat me?”

[Assistant] Infuriated by his smug smile, Beatrice planted her knee right in Subaru’s solar plexus.

[User] “From the very start, I predicted you would lure Emilia into the Archive of Forbidden Books. Using your Passage to mess with people is kind of your thing.”

[Assistant] “Mrrrg, I suppose…!” Beatrice growled bitterly and ground her teeth upon hearing the game postmortem.

[User] Subaru rubbed his sore solar plexus as he drank in her sweet, sweet tears of defeat.

[Assistant] “I told Emilia where the start point was and told her to run into the Archive of Forbidden Books when the moment was right. Then all I had to do was wait in the Archive and grab you. When a huntress lunges for her prey, that’s when she is most vulnerable, you know.” Subaru’s smug account of his playbook received no rebuttals from Beatrice.


[User] Subaru had played her like a violin, and anything she said would make her sound like a sore loser. Sitting on her usual stepladder, hugging her knees to herself, it took everything in her to just glare at Subaru in silence.

[Assistant] “But man, tough break, huh? What was it you said at the end? You were ‘one step—nay, ten steps ahead of her’? Well, sorry, but it turns out I was eleven steps ahead!”

[User] “Could you just get off your high horse, I wonder? !”

[Assistant] “Nah-nah-nah-poo-poo!” The taunting was too much for her to take, and Beatrice’s rage exploded in a shockwave and slammed Subaru against a wall.

[User] Beatrice snorted at him and said, “You are shrewd. I’ll give you that, but you’ve no right to laugh at me. I was never all that invested in this game to begin with. And you—”

[Assistant] “You wanna pretend this never happened—isn’t that a little too convenient? Just think of how angry and sad poor Puck will be. Like, Waaah, I didn’t raise my little girl to be like this!”

[User] “You really are an infuriating boy…” Beatrice spat at Subaru’s mimicry. But as he looked at her emotional face from the side, Subaru sighed and said, “Well…if you’re that upset, I’ll at least consider it.”

[Assistant] “…What brought about this sudden change of tune, I wonder?”

[User] “Well, even I’m kinda ashamed of how childish I acted. I came fully prepared and beat you to a pulp—I went too far. It’s just that you danced so nicely in the palm of my hand that I got carried away…”

[Assistant] “And you haven’t gotten enough dancing out of my magic, I suppose.” Beatrice was displeased at the overly brazen way Subaru expressed his feelings. But they were his true feelings. However, it need not be said that he didn’t think the bet itself was a mistake.

[User] “Yeah, and a part of me is sorry I forced you to do this. I assumed you’d hate it at first, but once you got into it, you’d like it—but it wasn’t my intention to be so pushy, either.”

[Assistant] “Then you should have said so at the start, I suppose… What exactly were you trying to do anyway?”

[User] “Hmmm…it’s a mystery, even to me. But after playing this game today, I think I saw what I wanted to see—I didn’t know you could run with such spirit.”

[Assistant] “Grrr…”

[User] Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Subaru smiled at the puffy-cheeked Beatrice and said, “Even though you were an unwilling participant, I had fun today. And I think Emilia and the village kids did, too. Not a bad compromise if I do say so myself.”

[Assistant] “Why does it feel like I keep drawing the shortest straw, I wonder?”

[User] “That’s neither here nor there. Just take the L and give up,” Subaru told the pouting Beatrice as he stood and headed for the Archive of Forbidden Books door. He had turned the mansion into a playground.


[User] If it wasn’t back in order as promised by the time Roswaal returned, Ram’s terrifying punishment would be awaiting him. "Beako." Subaru stopped short of leaving the room and turned to look at Beatrice.

[Assistant] Beatrice glared sharply enough to hurt him.

[User] "Let’s play again sometime." Before she could say yes or no or give any reaction, Subaru shut the door.

[Assistant] The Passage activated, and Subaru returned to the mansion dining hall. Emilia and Rem had just arrived there. Subaru tiredly raised his hand and said, "’Sup. Good job, everyone."

[User] "And good job to you, too, Subaru." Rem replied politely.

[Assistant] "Sorry to trouble you so much today, Rem. I felt bad shoving those little kids into your care out of nowhere. They’re noisy, and I’ll bet they wouldn’t listen to you, right?"

[User] "Oh, not at all. Everyone behaved very nicely. And when I gave them all cakes to take home as parting gifts, they asked if they might visit the mansion again sometime."

[Assistant] "Um, did you and I even handle the same group of kids?!" While they were insolent with Subaru, they were apparently little angels with Rem. Subaru would have to give them the third degree about it when he saw them at their next radio aerobics. He also needed to express his gratitude to them for helping him. "So did you manage to talk it out with Beatrice? I hope she wasn’t too angry?"

[User] While Subaru frowned grimly over the children’s behavior, Emilia tilted her head inquisitively. She really wanted to know how things turned out. Her gaze was directed at the dining hall door—her mind on the Archive of Forbidden Books behind it.

[Assistant] "Well, she did seem to accept defeat…but when it comes to our bet, things are kind of in limbo. The bet was sort of the icing on the cake for me anyway."

[User] "Really? Then why did we even play tag in the first place?"

[Assistant] "Because it’s fun, of course. I wanted to teach a little unhealthy shut-in the joy of running around with kids her own age. And in that regard, I’d say things went rather swimmingly."

[User] Emilia looked a bit surprised by Subaru’s playful wink. But she soon gave a tired sigh and smiled. "No, you’re right. And I’m sure Beatrice did have fun. I mean, I had a really great time."

[Assistant] "Glad to hear it… Now we’d better clean up this party mess." Subaru scratched his cheek to cover his embarrassment over how Emilia’s smile made him swoon.

[User] Then Rem tugged on his sleeve and said, "Tidying up is good and all, but we should rest first. Master Roswaal and my sister won’t return until tomorrow night. We still have plenty of time."

[Assistant] "That’s right, Rem made us some sweets," Emilia chimed in. "Why don’t we have some tea before we tidy up? Truth be told, I’d love to invite Beatrice to join us, but…"

[User] "Yeahhh, she’ll turn us down…I think?"


[User] "Then I’ll send some treats to her through Puck," Emilia suggested. "Then we’ll be even."

[Assistant] Though it was hard to believe Emilia would have had such calculations in her innocent suggestion.

[User] "All right then, Subaru, let’s go have tea," Rem said.

[Assistant] "Yes, yes, let’s go!"

[User] "Okay, I’ll take a break. It would be bad to half-ass the job and face Ram’s wrath."

[Assistant] The two girls seemed in high spirits to Subaru, but this was because the day had a special meaning for both of them as well. Perhaps this made Subaru’s putting his cunning to work that day worth it.

[User] "I just hope you feel it was worth it, too," Subaru murmured to the scowling little girl who wasn’t there. And then he slowly opened the door to the dining hall and found himself enveloped by all the sweet smells within.


[Assistant] "Those snotty little brats. They really did a number on this manor," Subaru grumbled.

[User] "Good thing they didn’t break anything," Rem said. "It was wise of us to sequester all the breakable items out of their reach."

[Assistant] "Hey, you two, the place looks great! Sorry I had to leave halfway through cleaning." Subaru rolled his shoulders, and Rem smiled as they made their way to the front hall. Emilia happened to come down the stairs and joined them in the front to wait for Roswaal’s return.

[User] "Boy, Rozchi sure is blessed to have you greet him personally, Emilia-tan."

[Assistant] "Really? Well, what you said yesterday made me realize the importance of hellos and good-byes. I hadn’t given it much thought before, but now I want to treat them with more solemnity and reverence."

[User] "Er, take it easy, okay? You don’t have to take it that seriously." Subaru smiled sheepishly at Emilia, whose fists were balled in an uncharacteristic ebullience. Her honest diligence made her psychology vulnerable to instantaneous manipulation. Just as the trio settled into their usual banter—

[Assistant] The trio perked their ears at the sound of footsteps. They were quiet, and there was a hint of hesitation, so they immediately knew who it was. They widened their eyes, and they smiled. The newcomer walked up to the trio without a word. Then she sighed quietly in defeat. The trio let her into their fold without asking her why she was there. There was a silent understanding among them that they shouldn’t. Now they were a quartet. Time quietly passed until they heard voices behind the door. The door opened—

[User] "Welcome home!" Three cheerful voices (and one reserved voice) greeted their master as he stepped over the threshold.


[User] It was a terribly modest and gradual omen of transition.

[Assistant] "Good morning, Subaru."

[User] "Ahh, morning." Subaru yawned.

[Assistant] "Hey, Rem…is it just me, or is it cold?"

[User] "Yes, I do think it is a tad chilly this morning. Your perceptiveness never ceases to impress me, Subaru."

[Assistant] "Uh, anybody would notice the cold, but okay?" It was early morning at Roswaal Manor. When Rem offered Subaru a morning greeting in the hallway, Subaru innocently brought up the temperature. Even though it was still early, it was especially chilly. It was so balmy the day before that they had sweat during work, but the temperature had dropped drastically overnight. It was so cold that Subaru closed his uniform jacket. He even buttoned his shirt up all the way.

[User] "I’m fine, but that uniform can’t be helping you stay warm, Rem. Don’t maids have cold-weather uniforms here? That doesn’t look comfortable."

[Assistant] "Once ice season comes, we do change uniforms. The fabric is thicker and lined, so it’s quite cozy." Rem said with a smile. She was dressed in her usual maid’s uniform. Since the design dramatically exposed her shoulders and legs, what was normally a feast for the eyes now only made Subaru shiver. Incidentally, ice season was another word for winter in this world. Conversely, summer was referred to as fire season. This world seemed to have four distinct seasons, just like Subaru’s.

[User] "But as cold as it is today, shouldn’t you be wearing your ice season uniform? If it’s a touchy subject, I can always go ask Rozchi directly for you."

[Assistant] "I appreciate your concern, Subaru, but my sister and I are used to it, so we’re perfectly comfortable. It’s nothing to trouble Master Roswaal over." Rem courageously shook her head at Subaru’s offer.

[User] "If you say so, Rem… By the way, where is your sister? Is she not with you today?"

[Assistant] "That’s right. She didn’t wish to leave her bed today due to the cold, so I let her sleep in."

[User] "Rem—didn’t you just say you’re both perfectly comfortable?!" Picturing Ram cozy and warm in her bed that very minute, Subaru sighed, wishing divine retribution upon Ram for taking advantage of her little sister’s kindness.

[Assistant] "Well, I can’t let this stand. Whether it’s hot or cold, live-in servants never have a day off—I’m gonna pound that lesson into Big Sis. Let’s go, Rem."

[User] "But she’s tired from her daily work. I don’t see the problem with letting her sleep in on a cold day—"

[Assistant] "Let’s go, Rem!"

[User] "All right, Subaru!" The scales of Rem’s heart tipped in a breath, and she cheerfully followed Subaru as he lumbered down the hall. In the end, after dragging the elder twin from her bed, Subaru had to work under both the chilling breeze and the resentful wrath of Ram.


[User] Subaru yawned. “I’m sleepy, and it’s cold…wait, is that Beako?”

[Assistant] “Gross, I suppose.” Waking early once again and walking down the empty hallway, Subaru encountered a girl in a dress shuffling down the way—Beatrice. With her iconically elaborate sausage curls, she was the second-least suited to sneaking around in the mansion.

[User] “Dude, what’re you doing up this early? I hope you didn’t pull an all-nighter. If you don’t sleep, you won’t grow up big and strong, and if you read in the dark, you’ll ruin your eyes.”

[Assistant] “Your criticisms are oblique and unwarranted, I suppose. My height and my sight are of no concern to you…and besides, I don’t have time to waste entertaining the likes of you. Now—get out of my sight.”

[User] “Fine, I can take a hint. By the way, isn’t it, like, crazy cold today? It felt freezing yesterday, too, but it’s like another level colder today…”

[Assistant] “You can’t take any hints, I suppose! I said I don’t have time to waste entertaining you!” Confused by the colder-than-yesterday weather, Subaru walked up to the wailing Beatrice. She was blatantly displeased, but Subaru snorted and opted to ignore her. The sharp coldness in the air came from an icy draft that pierced the skin now and then. In the cloudiness out the window, the trees seemed to cry in pain with each shake of their leaves in the breeze.

[User] “It’s easy to catch a cold when the seasons change, so you should be careful, Beako.”

[Assistant] “Hmph. You’ve no need to worry, I suppose. Betty is no weakling. Know your place, boy.”

[User] “I’m not worried about you—more like, I don’t want to have to bother myself taking care of your sick ass. Your room’s so hard to find that your rice porridge will get cold, and poor Rem’s feelings will be hurt. At least try to be nice when you’re sick, you snotty little loli.”

[Assistant] “Why must I be criticized even in hypothetical situations, I wonder!” Denounced in Subaru’s self-serving fantasy, Beatrice stomped in resentment. But she quickly regained her puffed-up composure, shooed her hand at Subaru as if he were an insect, and said, “Anyway, I am quite busy. Instead of complaining about the cold, you’re better off desperately doing your chores until you collapse, I suppose.”

[User] “Busy, my ass. You’re just reading in your room… Oh, that’s an idea.”

[Assistant] “I’m going now.” Betty turned to walk away. Subaru grabbed her shoulders and smiled.

[User] “You should help out with the chores sometimes. If you move your body, you’ll keep the cold at bay, and exercise decreases your risk of catching a cold, so that’s two birds with one stone—lucky you!”

[Assistant] Beatrice looked over her shoulder in annoyance and said, “Let me go."


[User] “I’m busy—how many times must I tell you, I wonder?”

[Assistant] “Fine, fine, I can take a hint. I’ll tell Rozchi to give you some allowance if you help, so be a good little girl and pull the weeds in the yard.”

[User] “Ngah?! You think that’s why I’m upset? Inconceivable! And listen to me for once! You need to stop messing around!”

[Assistant] Subaru picked up the red-faced Beatrice and began to carry her, kicking and screaming, down the hall. Strangely enough, she wasn’t fighting back with magic today. This perplexed Subaru, but he let it go since her lack of resistance suited him. "Okay, let’s have a good run! With lots of energy—let’s blast the cold away!”

[User] “Once you let me down, I’m blasting you away, I suppose!”

[Assistant] Holding the nearly erupting Beatrice in his arms, Subaru sprinted down the hall. And all day, Beatrice’s shrill screams echoed through the mansion.


[User] Now then, the day after Subaru’s day of playing with Beatrice.

[Assistant] “Well, well, weeell, aren’t we up early this morning, Subaru.”

[User] “H-hi, Rozchi…Y-yeah, it is kinda early…” A servant never had a day off that felt like a day off. Subaru was once again up early in the hallway, greeting the master of the house, Marquis Roswaal L Mathers. Today, just like any other, the eccentric aristocrat wore his clownish makeup proudly on his face. Under the gaze of his heterochromatic eyes—blue and gold—Subaru shivered as he managed to get out a “Good morning,” then he cracked his neck and slapped his cheeks as he gazed out the window.

[Assistant] Roswaal gave him a curious look and said, “You don’t look very well today, my boooy. What’s wrong?”

[User] “What’s wrong? It’s freaking cold, that’s what’s wrong!” Subaru cried in a flash of white breath, the last straw finally broken. It was cold—too cold. The snot dribbled out of his nose, and it promptly froze. Subaru stomped on the floor. "There’s something wrong with this climate! Until yesterday, I thought maybe I was just imagining things, but that’s not gonna fly today! The windows are iced over, and my breath is solid white!” Subaru pointed at the frozen windowsill. His body was wrapped in layers of blankets. He had put his servant’s uniform over his sleeping sweats—his ensemble was a desecration of society’s conventional fashion. But even with all these precautions, the cold threatened to seep through the cracks in his blankets and steal his life. “What gives? Is the change of seasons around these parts really that extreme? We’re talking a difference of like twenty degrees on the daily here! With a sudden temperature plunge, even bears would freeze to death before they made it to their dens for hibernation!”

[Assistant] “Oh dear, oh dear, you poor frail little lad. You mustn’t be that way, my boy. Always keep a positive mind and body.


[User] "No matter how cold the weather gets, always keep a calm mind and—"

[Assistant] "That’s rich, coming from a guy in a fluffy fur coat!" Roswaal’s stirring mind-over-matter speech was incredibly unconvincing because he was brazenly wearing cold-weather clothing. He was quite the spectacle with his thick fur coat and winter clothes. He could probably survive the coldest snowy mountain in that ensemble.

[User] "The extreme discrepancy in our quality of dress could get you convicted for attempted murder at this rate…zniffle!"

[Assistant] "Your sinister staring and sniveling sinuses show that we prooobably have reached our limit… I would have turned a blind eye yesterday, but it’s just come tooooo far for that now."

[User] "You sound like you know what’s causing this cold…so let’s do something about it! If some winter demon beast is causing it, let’s kill him. And make a big spectacle of it, too. C’mon, Master, help a guy out—zniffle!"

[Assistant] Roswaal puts a hand to his chin in thought as Subaru stomps his feet in a pitter-patter, adding kindling to the fire.

[User] Subaru had reached his limit between the frozen snot and his frozen brain. It wouldn’t be long before he broke the moral code and started ripping other people’s clothes off.

[Assistant] "Tell me, Subaru, by any chance, do you not handle the cold very well?"

[User] "I complain about the cold in the winter, I complain about the heat in the summer, I complain about how tired I am in the spring, and I complain about how expensive matsutake is in the fall. I don’t handle any sort of change well—zniffle!"

[Assistant] "I don’t exactly know what ‘matsutake’ is, but you’ve made it quite clear that you are a very impatient young man. Then you leave me no choice. I’ll just have to complain to the one who caused this." Flipping his fur coat, Roswaal began to walk as Subaru followed behind.


[User] Subaru looked at the scenery outside the frozen-white windows as his feet sank into the deep carpet and frowned.

[Assistant] "Something outside catch your interest?"

[User] "Well, yeah. I grew up in a temperate zone, so I don’t know much about snow. However, isn’t it cold enough for snow right now? If it snows, the village fields will freeze, and it’ll be hell to plow them." Earlham, the village near Roswaal Manor, was approaching harvesting season.

[Assistant] "Well, I understand…you are quite close with the villagers, especially the children."

[User] "Not that close. I don’t actually care for kids—way too selfish and reckless. I’m just nice to them because they’ve taken a liking to me…"

[Assistant] "Yes, yes, I suppose you’ve just given a great example of what your hometown calls tsundere characteristics."

[User] "Zniffle! Ack, my nose is gonna get frostbite! Zniffle-zniffle!


[User] "This’s bad, dude!” Subaru forced the focus onto his nose to avoid facing an inconvenient truth.

[Assistant] Roswaal smirked and let his hard segue pass without comment as he touched the foggy window with a finger and said, “Well, rest at ease, my boy. The cold surely hasn’t reached the village. The cold only extends to the perimeter of my property.”

[User] “Not exactly reassuring, my dude! What is this mysterious phenomenon? How does this sort of thing even happen? !”

[Assistant] “We’ve got not one but two little lovelies making the rounds to ensure the cold does not travel beyond my property. And I believe one of them was secretly at work just before you apprehended her yesterday?”

[User] “…You mean Beatrice?”

[Assistant] Roswaal’s cryptic response reminded Subaru of Beatrice’s odd behavior the day before. What she was doing so early that morning was a mystery, but it seemed she was trying to combat the cold. And if he needed to borrow Beatrice’s help, it was clear who they were all up against—

[User] “Now, I don’t suppose I need to tell you just who was the cause of all of this cold, hmmm?” Roswaal stopped walking. They were on the top floor of Roswaal Manor’s east wing. The door before them led to a room Subaru frequented. After all, this was a room he made a habit of stopping by once a day as Roswaal called to the door.

[Assistant] “Lady Emilia, sorry to disturb you so early in the morning. Maaay we speak with you for a minute?”

[User] “Roswaal?! Um…um…just a minute! Be right there!” A frantic voice sounded from the room.

[Assistant] Subaru was filled with panic, and he couldn’t hide. Something felt amiss. Starting with the very fact that the occupant of this room was awake at this hour. During the few weeks they’d lived together under the same roof, Subaru had noticed she wasn’t exactly an early riser.

[User] “Suuubaaaruuu?” Roswaal called, pointing to the doorknob with a grim frown on his brow. He didn’t mean for Subaru to open it.

[Assistant] Doubtfully, Subaru reached for the doorknob. "It’s cold?! What the hell?! Emilia-tan, are you okay? !”

[User] “What?! Oh, you’re there, too, Subaru? !”

[Assistant] “I am, but who cares—isn’t there something more important you have to say right now? !”

[User] “Something important? To say? Um…good morning?”

[Assistant] “Ah, what good manners to greet me even in a—wait, no! Agh, I’m just coming in, okay? !” The doorknob was so cold that it felt like it was made of pure ice. With the doorknob this cold, it was likely that the room was filled with an even more intense cold.

[User] “I’m coming in! If you happen to be getting dressed, thanks!”

[Assistant] “Don’t you mean sorry? !”

[User] Subaru threw the door open, his pure concern and deviant desires on full display.


[User] The door resisted, cracking from the floor as the cold that was once sealed inside the room burst out of it. “What the shit?! It’s freezing! How did this even happen? !” Crying out in the unimaginably cold blast, Subaru’s shocked eyes scanned the inside of the room.

[Assistant] There, he found Emilia standing still with her back to the bed, both arms stretched out. Her flustered face was red as she desperately tried to hide her bed from Subaru’s view. “Emilia-tan, how did this—”

[User] “Y-you bad boy! How dare you come into a person’s room without their permission… It’s rude. That’s right, it’s really rude! So—you know—um—do it over!”

[Assistant] “So that’s what Emilia-tan is saying, but what does the master of the house say?”

[User] “I permit him to enteeeer.”

[Assistant] “Roswaal!” Pushing Emilia’s protests aside on a unilateral technicality, Subaru finally entered the room. The source of the extreme cold unmistakably lay in her room. And from Roswaal’s testimony, Beatrice’s actions, and Emilia’s body language resembling a child trying to hide their prank, it was obvious what it was. “So where’s Puck? He’s the source of this, and as representative of the Cold Haters, I’ve got a bone to pick with him.”

[User] “The source? The source of what? I have no idea what you’re—well, um—okay, it’s not like I have no idea, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

[Assistant] “It’s okay, Lia—either way, it looks like you can’t hide me anymore.” Emilia’s frantic stubbornness and strange inability to hide her lies in her subterfuge were brought to a close by the instigator himself.

[User] Emilia raised her eyebrows, turned to face the bed, and put her hands on her hips. “Oh, Puck, you big dummy! We almost had them fooled…”

[Assistant] “Sorry, Emilia-tan, but you couldn’t fool anybody in a million years.”

[User] “Huh? !”

[Assistant] Subaru slipped past the genuinely shocked Emilia and peered into the bed behind her. The cat, the presumed source of the extreme cold, lay curled up on a small, rumpled blanket on her bed. “You really look like a cat when you’re curled up like that.”

[User] “Mmm, sorry? Didn’t mean to cause this mess.” The gray ball of fur squirmed at the sound of the voice, his beady black eyes looking up at Subaru. The palm-sized cat smiled sheepishly at Emilia’s look of disappointment and said, “Please, don’t get angry with Betty and Lia. They just wanted to do something nice for me.” And with that, Puck stood up to defend his beloved daughter and little sister.

[Assistant] “Magicking season?” Subaru craned his neck, confused by the unfamiliar term.


[User] They had moved to the Roswaal Manor dining hall, and all residents were present. Including the sleepy-headed Ram and the reluctantly present Beatrice, they all sat around the table under which Puck sat. Emilia told them the truth—that Puck was the source of the extreme cold—and when she was asked what the cause was, the unfamiliar term magicking season was given. "What’s magicking season? Are you sure you don’t mean mating season?"

[Assistant] "Of course I don’t have a mating season. What do you take me for, some common animal? Rude!"

[User] "Yeah, no comment…for a number of reasons." As Puck—the spitting image of a cat—washed his face, Subaru turned his perplexed eyes on the rest of the table.

[Assistant] Rem raised a hand to answer. Given yesterday’s dramatic drop in temperature, Rem had changed into her ice season maid’s uniform that morning. The uniform didn’t expose nearly as much skin, but the sight of her still-short skirt and bare legs beneath it gave Subaru the chills. Even in another world, it still baffled him what sort of thought process led girls to wear skirts in the wintertime. "Magicking season is a phenomenon that happens periodically only to beings with powerful magic. Since a magic’s strength is determined by the Odo—the core essence of magic—it truly is restrictive."

[User] "What was Odo again—it’s, like, not the same as a Gate or mana?" As far as Subaru knew, mana was the source of magic in this world. The organ that circulated mana through the body was called a Gate, and the Gate connected directly with a magic user’s attributes. Incidentally, Subaru’s attributes as a magic user were mediocre. Moreover, since he had strained his Gate, he was strictly forbidden from using magic. "So from what you’re saying, Rem, Odo is more fundamental than mana or your Gate, right?"

[Assistant] "—For a servant of Master Roswaal, your extreme lack of knowledge is downright criminal." Ram gave a blatant sigh at Subaru’s mediocre knowledge of magic. She sat beside Rem, dressed in thicker layers. Narrowing her eyes, she continued, "If you don’t know what Odo is, I doubt you even have any common sense. Your shallowness has reached new heights, Barusu."

[User] "Maybe it’s just the cold, but Big Sis sure sounds extra icy today."

[Assistant] Her already sharp tongue stung even harder in the bitter cold. Hugging her younger twin’s arm for warmth, Ram breathed out white as she insulted Subaru. But the cute earmuffs she wore on her head took the bite out of her bark. "Turns out my theory about you the other day was right, Big Sis—you don’t like the cold."

[User] "Everyone has strong points and weaknesses—it’s only a subjective problem. And I don’t approach life with such a narrow-minded perspective. Keep your mouth shut, simpleton."


[User] "Just die already."

[Assistant] "The last part was carelessly scathing!"

[User] "This is nothing new, but whenever I leave things to you lot, nothing ever gets done, I suppose."

[Assistant] Unable to stand Ram’s grumpiness and Subaru’s quippiness despite the cold, Beatrice joined the conversation. Wearing her usual dress, she pointed a finger at Subaru and said, "Fine, I’ll just have to explain it myself. Odo is the nucleus of life, I suppose… It is the source of magic found in every spirit, human, and demon beast. Odo is like a vessel for magic, and it’s also an organ that can store magic brought in through a Gate."

[User] "Uh-huh, uh-huh, a vessel that stores mana. Continue."

[Assistant] "An irritating response, I suppose… Anyway, the more superior the Odo, the more mana it can handle. However, every vessel has its storage limit, I suppose. And if an Odo exceeds its capacity, the mana spills out… Before that happens, it must be released."

[User] "You’ve gotta release it before your guts explode…so it’s kinda like constipation?"

[Assistant] "There are better comparisons, I suppose!"

[User] When Subaru interpreted Beatrice’s explanation to suit him.

[Assistant] She was more than resentful.

[User] "So if I’m understanding you correctly—Puck has to fart out all the pent-up mana inside him, and that’s what’s causing the extreme cold?"

[Assistant] "Yeah…that’s basically it. Sorry I didn’t tell you." Now that the truth was out in the open, Emilia hung her head in shame. As her kitty’s guardian, his bad behavior was her responsibility.

[User] With a sympathetic look to her, Subaru turned to the war criminal—Puck—and said, "What an inconsiderate way to relieve constipation… So is this a recurring thing?"

[Assistant] "It happens about once a year. When I lived in the forest with Lia, I was able to release it moderately, but ever since we moved here, I’ve been behaving so politely that I’m paying the price now. Tee-hee."

[User] "Tee-hee, my ass." Subaru rolled his eyes at the giggling cat, folded his arms, and continued. "Anyway, releasing your, um, magic is really important, so no complaints there. But why have the side effects dramatically amplified over the past three days? There’s gotta be some other way."

[Assistant] "Hmmm—at first, I released it gradually so the effects would be minimal. But since I had way more mana to expel than usual, and since nobody was complaining about the cold, I thought to myself—Huh, maybe I can go a little harder? Yeah, let’s do it! Everyone’s more gullible than I thought!—aaand here we are."

[User] "Could you be any sloppier?!"

[Assistant] Knowing that the bottomless cold suffocating the mansion resulted from Puck’s hubris further fueled Subaru’s discontent.

[User] "Magicking season is an inextricable matter for spirits as great as my brother."


[User] "On the grounds that he is so cute and fluffy, we should stop making such a fuss, I suppose—sniff-sniff."

[Assistant] "You’re just as snotty as I am! —And hey, I just realized something: You sneakily put up barriers to contain the cold because you didn’t want your precious brother to get caught. Am I wrong? Gimme the truth!"

[User] "Squeeeeeakle! I have no idea what you’re talking about."

[Assistant] "Your nose squeaked!" Even with her nose bright red from the cold, Beatrice refused to turn on Puck.

[User] Subaru sighed in frustration over what to do about her.

[Assistant] "Please, just listen—Puck and I both feel really sorry about what happened. But Puck’s magicking season should be over very soon…isn’t that right, Puck?" Emilia diplomatically cut in.

[User] "Yup. If I keep up the same pace for two more days, that’ll be more than enough."

[Assistant] "But the rest of us have already had more than enough! If it gets any colder, you’ll find me and Ram frozen to death, our corpses rolling down the hall tomorrow morning!" Subaru yelled.

[User] Considering he was the instigator, Puck wasn’t giving the situation the gravity it deserved. "Right, I wasn’t worried about Puck because he’s a spirit and has that fur coat, but Emilia-tan, aren’t you cold in that outfit? I wanna see you in a cute fur coat." He didn’t seem to feel the cold, so the whole thing struck him as nothing worth fretting about.

[Assistant] Though he let his ulterior motive slip out at the end, Subaru said most of that out of concern for Emilia’s well-being.

[User] "Um, well, Puck and I are bound together in a covenant, right? So I can protect myself from the effects of his magic. That’s why—this cold—um—I’m okay…" Subaru’s question made Emilia look down with even more guilt as she said. Emilia felt so terrible that she seemed to shrink smaller and smaller with each word.

[Assistant] "Aren’t you ashamed to cause your daughter so much trouble?" Subaru scolded the spirit. "C’mon, let’s come up with a solution."

[User] "Hey, I do feel bad about it, okay? Even I wish there were some other way to do this. Got any ideas? It has to be something that uses a lot of mana."

[Assistant] "Can’t you just expel a blast of powerful magic up into the sky or something?"

[User] "Oh, so you’re giving me your consent, right? I’m allowed to bring about the apocalypse—"

[Assistant] "Um, no? !"

[User] "Only kidding," Puck sang.

[Assistant] Worrying that an accidental yes would usher in an epic calamity, Subaru decided to keep his lighthearted quips at bay for a while.

[User] "But this cold is a problem—things aren’t getting done around the house."


[User] “Ram’s productivity has fallen exponentially during the past three days.”

[Assistant] “Well, obviously it’s gonna fall to nothing if she can’t even get out of bed.” Subaru scoffed.

[User] “So are spirits the only creatures who have magicking season? What about other powerful magic users…like Rozchi and Beako?”

[Assistant] The conversation thrust upon them, Roswaal shrugged his shoulders.

[User] Beatrice tugged on her curls.

[Assistant] "Well, I use magic on a daily basis and maaaanage it that way." Roswaal said.

[User] “Since I also use magic for my work, my Odo always has plenty of room to spare.”

[Assistant] “Why do you need Ram for your daily wor—you know, never mind. I don’t wanna know.”

[User] Roswaal shot Ram a sideways glance.

[Assistant] She blushed and looked down.

[User] The sketchy and inappropriate relationship between the master of the house and his maid felt uncomfortably raw to Subaru when he was this close to it.

[Assistant] “I regulate my mana well enough managing the Archive and using my Passage, I suppose." Beatrice said.

[User] “Oh, right, and blasting away a certain annoying human has helped recently, too.”

[Assistant] “Yes, yes, that’s nice, dear.” Ignoring the baiting jab from the puffed-up little girl, Subaru turned next to Emilia and Rem.

[User] “Then what about you girls? Do you have mating—er, I mean, magicking season?”

[Assistant] “Well, no." Rem said.

[User] “Magicking season requires a particularly powerful magic that not very many beings possess…”

[Assistant] “I’m too much of a magic dunce to have a magicking season—oh, then again, I have a lot of experience with it because of Puck. So I really am sorry about this. I should have known better…” Emilia chimed in.

[User] “Dang, Emilia-tan, you’re really on a self-deprecating kick today!” Her honest and diligent personality was having an adverse effect for once.

[Assistant] So Subaru had no recourse but to turn to the instigator, who showed no remorse in the little girl’s arms, and lend him a hand.

[User] “Okay. Let’s fill our bellies with good energy and find a solution. First, here’s a question—when was the last time you really got to use magic to your heart’s content?”

[Assistant] “I guess that would have to be when I fought that dark girl in the capital. I almost used up all my mana then.”

[User] “All the good energy is slipping out of my belly!” Subaru’s memory of the Bowel Hunter killing him brought the pain of his month-old belly wound searing back to the surface.

[Assistant] There was no way in hell he could bring that psycho back to the mansion just to help Puck blow off a little magic steam.

[User] "Well, if that won’t work, then it would have to be the time Roswaal came to the forest to get Lia. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have a feeling we brawled hard that day.”

[Assistant] “Ohhh, right. That was most certainly very intense.


[User] “That just maaay be the first time I’ve ever fought so hard.”

[Assistant] “Well, you just showed up without an appointment, so I freaked out.” Puck chuckled.

[User] “Well, we did clash in earnest for a full day and niiight.”

[Assistant] "Emilia-tan—what actually happened?"

[User] “I heard they had to redraw maps after the fight was over…”

[Assistant] “Okay, stop! I’m putting a moratorium on the whole friends-play-mortal-enemies trope!”

[User] “But Subaruuuu…” Puck whined.

[Assistant] “Don’t you ‘but Subaruuu’ me! Stop altering topography with your fights! Apologize to Ino Tadataka at once!”

[User] “I’m sorry, Mister Tadataka! There, that okay?” As Puck apologized to Japan’s first great mapmaker, Subaru racked his brain over the dilemma, which proved to be far more arduous than he had imagined.

[Assistant] “When Puck and I lived in the forest, there just wasn’t anybody around to bother, so I didn’t think magicking season was that big a problem. But that naïveté got us in trouble…”

[User] “And the past three days is the solution you came up with… I can sympathize with you wanting to handle the problem by yourself, Emilia-tan, but I want to say it’s okay to ask others for help…especially me.”

[Assistant] “With the world on the brink of destruction, we embark on a quest to defeat Demon Lord Puck—that would just be too much work…so if we want a more peaceful, permanent solution…yes, that’s our only choice…”

[User] Emilia’s eyes shot open. "Subaru—did you get some crazy idea again?”

[Assistant] “That’s our Subaru.” Rem nodded. “I am in awe.”

[User] “Don’t get too excited, ladies!” With a sheepish grin at Emilia and Rem, who had jumped the gun, Subaru walked over to the dining hall window, which was covered in a thick blanket of fog by then. He rubbed the window with his hand and looked at the mansion garden.

[Assistant] “Beako—am I correct in saying that the cold is confined to the mansion thanks to your barriers?”

[User] “Yes, I suppose. The poor trees and flowerbeds would suffer if the cold escaped outside this building. So I’ve erected a moderate barrier around the mansion perimeter.”

[Assistant] “You spared the garden, eh? That’s honestly very touching. Now—about the barrier, can you still tweak the perimeter? If so, I’ve got a favor to ask.”

[User] “I could always try. But what do you want to do, I wonder?”

[Assistant] “Hmf-hmf-hmf! What else?


[User] “I’ve got an idea that will make this magicking season funner, funnier, and fantastic-er than ever.” With one hand still on the window, Subaru snapped the fingers of his opposite hand and pointed to the ceiling.

[Assistant] As everyone else’s eyes widened at the spectacle, Roswaal alone smirked and winked. "Well, I’ve no objection to a little fun. That necromancy you showed us the other day was immeeeensely interesting. So—what is it you have in mind for my mansion and the great spirit Puck?” With Subaru reflecting in his golden eye, he said,

[User] “In my hometown of Hokkaido—well, in a broad sense, and there should probably be an asterisk next to ‘hometown’—anyway, we’ve got a festival. And I wanna use copious amounts of Puck’s pent-up magic to have a little bit of fun.”

[Assistant] “I hereby call the first annual Chitty-Chitty—Roswaal Manor Snow Festival to order!” As Subaru posed triumphantly, thumb pointed and teeth gleaming, everyone else in the room held their breaths.

[User] “Chitty-Chitty Snow Festival…” Emilia tilted her head in thought as she repeated the name of the festival.

[Assistant] “Are you sure we need the ‘Chitty-Chitty’ part?”


[User] “And now, the first annual Snow Festival has begun! Hey, gang, you wanna go to New York? !”

[Assistant] “Y-yeah…?” As Subaru took on the role of MC, the group’s responses were sparse.


[User] “Wow, a snow festival… Your creativity never ceases to surprise me, Subaru." Puck said emerging from the scarf wrapped around Subaru’s neck.

[Assistant] “Hey, when it comes to wasting recourses, don’t underestimate the abilities of a modern man whose ancestors survived the famine. Since we can’t hide from the cold anyway, we might as well turn it into a big party.”

[User] “Well, I never imagined this could become a party.” Puck explained.


[User] "You complain about the cold, but you love the snow—humans are so hard to understand.”

[Assistant] "Well, it’s human nature to get excited over things like blizzards and typhoons, even if they are technically natural disasters.”

[User] “Hmm, hmm, fascinating.” Puck hummed, craning his neck in confusion just the same.

[Assistant] “Subaru, you haven’t finished your story yet!”

[User] “Oopsie, so I haven’t. Sorry about that!” A villager summoned Subaru from his conversation with Puck.

[Assistant] “Okay, I was explaining the rules, wasn’t I? In short, feast thine eyes on the mansion’s front garden! Use the snow and ice here to create art pieces that showcase your creativity and craftsmanship—this art contest is this snow festival’s main purpose! I’ve prepared a luxury prize for the winner, so I hope you’ll all aim for the top!”

[User] “Oooh!” The words luxury prize caused a fervor among the participants.

[Assistant] “Okay, you have until the fire goes out! Lights, camera…action!”

[Assistant] “Oh, right, that means start! Go, go, go!” Though it got off to a rocky start, the snow festival began at Subaru’s command.


[User] “Ahh, breathtaking,” Subaru marveled as he watched the villagers diligently work on their snow-sculpting and gave a satisfied leap off the snow platform.

[Assistant] “So are things looking good on this end?” Subaru asked.

[User] “Yes, Subaru, most prosperous indeed! Things are all good on our end.” He was cutting ice and had sweat on his brow.

[Assistant] “By the way, I hope you don’t feel like you got a raw deal cutting ice while everyone else plays in the snow,” Subaru apologized.

[User] “Oh, not at all. We’re just happy to serve the village.


[User] "And word has it this fire season is going to be hot, so we’re grateful to the marquis for suggesting this." The youth group leader, a man with a crew cut, smiled genuinely as he wiped the sweat off his brow.

[Assistant] Nodding at him, Subaru heaved a silent sigh of relief that the proposal was happily accepted.

[User] "Yeah, but it’s still hard labor. I really ought to be helping you…"

[Assistant] "Oh, no, no, Subaru, you’ve already helped us more than enough. If we ask for any more of your help, it will surely be bad karma. Besides, you’ve given us quite a lot of entertainment already."

[User] "Really? Was there some performance I didn’t know about?" Subaru titled his head, unable to determine what the man was referencing.

[Assistant] Then he followed the youth group leader’s gaze and found Ram and Rem restlessly running around the front garden. They were both giving instructions as appointed members of the snow festival governing board, and their ice season uniforms were refreshingly cute. "Just bearing witness to that is a deeply moving experience. Don’t you agree, Subaru?"

[User] "Yeah…you may be right. Well, if that’s all the payment you need, then I’m glad we could help."

[Assistant] The other youths nodded deeply in agreement with their leader.

[User] A firm handshake with their leader confirmed it.


[Assistant] As you’d expect, Subaru didn’t know all that much about snow, but after a while of making the rounds and offering a moderate bit of advice here and there—

[User] "Ooh, it’s Subaru!"

[Assistant] "There’s Subaru!"

[User] "Know him and fear him, the White Terror!"

[Assistant] "Good to see you guys aren’t letting the cold dampen your spirits!"

[User] "Wa-ha-ha, snowww!"

[Assistant] "Ja-ha-ha, snowww!"

[User] "Bwa-ha-ha, snowww!"

[Assistant] "But in time, you will all realize—that the snow was playing in you all along…"

[User] "Ah, Subaruuu? You look bored. Come here!" She marched up to Subaru and said.


[User] "Look what I made out of snow!” It was Petra, the beautiful girl whose future excited Subaru the most and holding a little bunny made of snow.

[Assistant] “Ooh, a snow bunny! Didn’t know that was a thing in your culture, too!”

[User] “Hee-hee, isn’t she cute? Did I do good?”

[Assistant] “Yeah, it’s great! There, there, now, let’s make her even more stunning. Check it out.” As Petra looked on in confusion, Subaru gathered some leaves and pebbles nearby. He attached them onto the bunny Petra made until its ears and eyes had transformed before her very eyes.

[User] Petra’s eyes lit up at the sight of it. “Ooh, awesome! Subaru, you’re so awesome! Now it’s a bunny…It’s a real bunny!”

[Assistant] “Heh-heh. I know, right? And seeing you so happy really gets my blood pumping! Okay, let’s give her yet another power-up! Let’s add a tail and wings, some missiles, mecha-fusion functions, and a cockpit and a caterpillar—”

[User] “Whoa, slow down…”

[Assistant] Ignoring Petra’s pleas, Subaru brutalized the snow bunny. Minutes later, all traces of its former self were gone, and the bunny had transformed into a killing machine: Multipurpose Special Aviation Assault Weapon YUKI USAGI. And it need not be said that the purehearted girl’s former joy was nowhere to be seen anymore. “Hmm, a woman’s heart is fickle as autumn’s sky…guess the saying was right. Peh! Peh! Peh!” Spitting out the snowball that had hit him square in the face, Subaru watched Petra grow smaller and smaller in the distance. The snow bunny that had tickled his boyish sensibilities was apparently not to her liking. “Maybe Petra prefers realistic robots over super-robots,” Subaru mused.

[User] “Ummm, I get the feeling she doesn’t like either,”

[Assistant] “No, no, it’s too soon to reach a verdict. Next time, I’ll hit her with a realistic robot and see what she thinks.” After solidifying another snowball-facing by Petra in his future, Subaru began to make his rounds to observe the snow sculptures that were gradually coming to completion. Being everyone’s first snow sculptures, many of them were crude, but each and every sculpture was a testament to everyone’s cooperation. It wasn’t easy to pick a winner. “Isn’t it a shame, though, that everyone went with realism? Maybe it’s because they don’t have the concept of mascot characters here, but there’s lots of castles and animals…ooh! Now this one’s really lifelike!”

[User] “Oh, thank you very much, Subaru. I’m quite proud of my Urugarum!”

[Assistant] “It’s so cold you thought I could take the heat?! What a sick joke!” Only a few days ago, the mansion and village were plunged in an unprecedented crisis involving the Urugarum demon beasts…and this was a snow sculpture of one of them. The terror and stress now fresh in his memory, the goose bumps on Subaru’s skin were from more than just the icy air. “I commend your efforts because I love edgy stuff. But you weren’t considerate enough of the emotional trauma of your judges.


[User] "Therefore, I give it seven out of ten! I look forward to seeing your next creation!” As Subaru appraised the snow Urugarum.

[Assistant] The man who created it smiled cynically and said, “Tough crowd.”

[User] Observing the exchange, Puck tickled Subaru’s neck with his tail.

[Assistant] “Pfah, what?”

[User] “About the scoring system—who’s overseeing it besides you?”

[Assistant] “Me, Rozchi, and the village chief is our secret judge. If all the judges are known, people will try to bribe us under the table. We firmly oppose such unscrupulous judging practices when it comes to an artistic competition.”

[User] “But would people really go to such lengths to get the prize?”

[Assistant] “Of course they would. It’s a present from me, and there’s only one of its kind in this world.”

[User] Upon learning that the grand prize would come from Subaru himself, Puck’s mouth gaped in surprise. "Dang, Subaru, considering this isn’t even your problem, you sure are generous.”

[Assistant] “Well, the ones in trouble are Emilia—and you, right? So of course I’m gonna help.” It was of little hardship to Subaru, who was enjoying the festival. So there was no need to hesitate when it came to this easy level of helping out. In the final analysis, Subaru was much more in their debt than they were in his.

[User] “Hmmm…from where I’m standing, Subaru, this quirk of yours is very…you know.”

[Assistant] “No, I don’t know, there was way too much innuendo. You’ll have to be more specific…” As Puck snickered, Subaru suddenly stopped in his tracks.


[User] Seeing this, the girl sculpting in his path happily clapped her hands. “Ooh, Subaru! Come look at this! It’s a sisterly sculpture by myself and my sister!”

[Assistant] “Rem and Big Sis…so you participated instead of helping out? I’m surprised.”

[User] Her face aglow, Rem gestured to the work of art beside her.

[Assistant] On the other side of the snow sculpture stood Ram, dressed in an additional layer. She crossed her arms and snorted at the sight of Subaru. “Ah, Barusu. So nice of you to be lured into the light by our artistry.”

[User] “I’m not quite sure how I feel about the moth-to-a-flame vibes of that sentence, but yeah, I came to see it. What happened to get you out to compete in this cold-as-balls festival, Ram? I thought you didn’t even want to help out.”

[Assistant] “Master Roswaal gave me permission to compete. Unless you’re suggesting that I should have stayed holed up in bed alone while Rem and everyone else had fun in the snow?”

[User] “Needlessly aggressive, but you’re saying you hate being left out, right?” As Subaru cringed over Ram’s passive-aggressiveness.

[Assistant] Rem quietly stepped before her big sister. Then she clasped hands with her red-nosed sister and said, “No, Subaru, I begged Sister to join me.


[User] "She said playing in the show was too childish for her, but I just had to play with her…”

[Assistant] “Don’t you feel ashamed, Big Sis, forcing your little sister to make excuses for you?”

[User] “No, Rem’s tangible love gives me a sense of superiority. Feel free to be bitter.”

[Assistant] It’s hard to make a comeback when your opponent doubles down. So Subaru gave up on dismantling Ram’s sophistry and turned his attention back on the snow sculpture the twins had constructed. The entire sculpture was draped in a white cloth, and it was about as tall as the average person. Knowing how skilled Rem was with her hands, he imagined it would be quite the work of art.

[User] “We’re very proud of this sculpture.”

[Assistant] “It is a culmination of our strengths, skills, and sisterly love.”

[User] “That’s right. I combined my feeble abilities with Sister’s leadership, and this is the best we could have produced.”

[Assistant] “That’s a strange way of saying, I did all the work while my big sister watched! …Anyway, what’s your sculpture’s title?”

[User] “It’s titled The Amazing Subaroswaal!”

[Assistant] “The name is already a red flag!”

[User] Ignoring Subaru’s quip, Rem removed the cloth from the sculpture—to reveal a masterpiece of a lone man, sculpted with extreme care. It was finely detailed, each and every little part of him tidily refined. As a snow sculpture, it easily had the potential to eclipse all the other submissions. It had only one flaw—the subject of the sculpture was undefined.

[Assistant] “There was a clash of opinions—my sister wanted to sculpt Master Roswaal, and I wanted to sculpt you.”

[User] “And after weighing the pros and cons, that’s what we settled on.”

[Assistant] “It’s like an anti-compromise!” As the sisters told Subaru the backstory of their sculpture, he struggled to come up with a score for it. It was beautiful that the sisters had produced it together, but the sculpture had turned out downright blasphemous. The joint piece, The Amazing Subaroswaal, appeared to be a statue of Roswaal, with traces of Subaru mixed into it. It was an indefinable creation that maddened the mind of whoever saw it.


[User] “Oooh, what’s this I seeee? What are you all doing out… Oh my, what is this…” Roswaal, who had been making his rounds scoring the sculptures, came over to see what Subaru, Ram, and Rem were looking at. But when he beheld Subaroswaal in all its glory, Roswaal’s face did something it seldom did—it went rigid. His confident smile faded off his lips, and his eyes swam, desperate to find a comment he could give.

[Assistant] “Oh! Master Roswaal…so sorry you’ve caught us unprepared.”

[User] “But please, take a good look.”

[Assistant] “Sister and I made this together. I know we’re family, but please give us your honest criticism.” Seeing both judges in place, Ram and Rem eagerly awaited feedback. Ram wore her usual overly confident posture, but unless Roswaal was mistaken, even humble Rem seemed confident.


[User] They both seemed to expect high marks for their snow sculpture. However—

[Assistant] “All right—sorry, but that’s a five.”

[User] “Out of five…?” Ram prompted.

[Assistant] “Out of ten, idiot! Just callin’ it like I see it! After seeing that abomination, I pray for the marquis’s future reputation!”

[User] “Don’t be so silly…!” Ram shot Roswaal an astonished look, but the latter merely shook his head and raised a hand. Only four fingers were raised. His score was even lower than Subaru’s.

[Assistant] Incidentally, each score was out of ten, and since there were three judges, the possible total was thirty points. “It’s not badly made, you seeeee. But it just—how do I say this diplomatically—gives me the creeps.”

[User] “But I know there was nothing wrong with our concept… I guess Barusu’s features ruined it.”

[Assistant] “Now that can’t be true!” Rem protested. “We fused what we each consider to be the ideal figure—no way could that not work out! I’m sure this sculpture is just ahead of its time.”

[User] Upon hearing Roswaal’s curt review, Ram and Rem lashed out in protest. However, given the substance of their arguments, Subaru saw another indescribable sculpture in their future. Subaru offered a good faith argument: “Maybe we’re the only people who think it’s weird because we were the subject—”

[Assistant] “Oh! Found you, Subaru! Beatrice and I submitted sculptures in secret. Would you like to look at our—agh! Wh-what is this? This snow sculpture looks really weird!”

[User] “—Yeah, nooo. What an absurd idea,” Subaru pivoted. When Emilia happened upon The Amazing Subaroswaal, she rejected it on the spot. In other words, for the good of humanity, that sculpture will forever be ahead of its time.


[Assistant] Nevertheless, the first annual snow festival plodded along—and Petra was crowned the winner. The winning sculpture received twenty-eight points and was titled Multipurpose Special Aviation Assault Weapon YUKI USAGI. Truly, it was a victory for a very cunning, very badass girl.

[User] “All that hard work for nine points? I just think that’s strange…”

[Assistant] “Lia—maybe the assignment was just too difficult for you and Betty,” Puck consoled her. “How should I put this… It was hard to identify the artistic points in your snow sculptures.” Emilia and Puck were in the front garden after the snow festival, and all the village attendees had gone home. Emilia’s cheeks were puffed out in indignation as she stood by the snow sculpture of Puck she had made. Beside her was the snow sculpture of Puck Beatrice had made. They received scores of nine and seven, respectively, which was mostly explained by the many omitted details in their works. It could be said that evaluating the avant-garde snow sculptures properly was beyond what humans were capable of.

[User] “But Subaru really is a bottomless well of random knowledge, isn’t he,” Emilia said. “You could never have a snow festival near the Elior Forest.”

[Assistant] “Yes, it only has appeal in an area that doesn’t see much snow,” Puck said.


[User] "If you live in a place where snow is a burden rather than a joy, you wouldn’t even think to have a festival for it."

[Assistant] "Huh, is that why…? Yeah, you may be right.” Emilia nodded in understanding as she walked around the empty exhibit under the night sky.

[User] "But when that happens, these snow sculptures will melt away. So many works of art… It really feels like a waste."

[Assistant] "Well, that’s snow for you. It doesn’t last forever. It is what it is.”

[User] Emilia noticed a catch in Puck’s voice but didn’t point it out. She just stopped mid-path among the snow statues and gazed at the twinkling stars. And in the icy-cold air, the stars hung, beholding the snow sculptures below.

[Assistant] "I really am sorry you and Betty and everybody else at the mansion didn’t win."

[User] "Well, that girl’s snow bunny was really good. Roswaal and the village head were downright smitten with it…and Subaru was surprisingly quiet. I wonder what that was all about."

[Assistant] "I’ll just say no comment."

[User] "But I really did want to learn more about the luxury prize."

[Assistant] "Me too. That thing from Subaru’s hometown…what was it again? A cornpota? Was that its name?"

[User] "You know, I probably should have consulted Subaru first thing when the problem arose. I could have avoided so much worrying."

[Assistant] "True, true." Puck agreed. "But you shouldn’t run to others at the first sign of any problem—that’s not the kind of daughter I raised. Even if it feels beyond you, you need to try to figure it out on your own. Okay?"

[User] "Yes, yes. I know." Emilia giggled, and Puck stroked his chin with an “Atta girl.”

[Assistant] "Hey—do you remember what Subaru said at the end of the snow festival?" Then a faint silence flowed between them until Emilia suddenly broke it.

[User] "If you have magicking season again next year, let’s have another snow festival. Most people would be put off by the idea, but if anybody can turn magicking season into a raucous good time, he can."

[Assistant] "That quality of Subaru…I find it to be really…you know."

[User] "Yup. I do."


[User] “Next year…” Emilia remarked thoughtfully. “That’s too far in the future for me to even imagine what my life might be like.”

[Assistant] “I hope everything turns out the way you want, Lia—regardless of whether or not Subaru can really have his way.”

[User] “Puck…are you against having a snow festival?”

[Assistant] “Not at all. I had a good time, and I think you did too. But…I’m not sure that when next year rolls around, Subaru will still be happy to be by your side, Lia.”

[User] Emilia held her breath as Puck’s words sank into her. Her position weighed heavily upon her. She didn’t have the liberty of making decisions lightly. Even the environment she lived in might be drastically different one year from then. And the idea of trapping that kindhearted boy in the vortex with her made Emilia feel incredibly guilty.

[Assistant] “The wound on his belly and the bite wound from the demon beast—every wound inflicted on him is the result of your actions, Lia. I know you wouldn’t be the sort to forget that, but you must always keep this in mind.”

[User] “—I know.”

[Assistant] Though Puck spoke in a lighthearted voice, his words were anything but light to Emilia. She nodded solemnly, and Puck washed his face in silence. Then, looking at the snow sculptures near Emilia, he said, “But I do hope we can have a snow festival again next year.”

[Assistant] “Because it would mean I pent up enough mana to have a magicking season, and only Subaru would run a snow festival.”

[User] “Yes…yes, you’re right—I hope we have a snow festival next year, too.” Puck’s unexpected sentiment made Emilia nod and smile.

[Assistant] Puck stroked his chin in satisfaction with his beloved daughter’s smile—an ominous fear smoldering secretly in his heart all the while.


[User] “Puck—is something wrong?” Emilia tilted her head anxiously at Puck’s solemn facade.

[Assistant] His ears immediately perked to console her as he said, “Hmm? Oh, I’m fine. Just wondering if we’re going back to our normal warm weather tomorrow.”

[User] “Oh, you know, that’s a good question. Subaru and Ram might even complain about it again.” Oblivious to Puck’s worries, Emilia turned her concerns to the coming morrow as if it were an ordinary day.

[Assistant] And as Puck observed his sincere, beloved daughter’s diligence, his tail quietly danced in the air.


[User] Subaru removed his uniform jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves. "I’m just saying, it really feels futile coming here every three days to clean—how do you feel, Big Sis?" He posed the question with a duster in hand. Subaru winced as he wiped the floating dust away with his hand.

[Assistant] "Seriously, where does dust even come from? What do you think, Big Sis?"

[User] Ram sighed. "Stop asking stupid questions and get back to work. No matter what Master Roswaal asks of us, we go above and beyond to fulfill his wishes—that is our job."

[Assistant] "Yeah, yeah, aye-aye, my lady. Okay, let’s get back to wor—hey, dude!"

[User] "So this is why you weren’t griping at me every five seconds! C’mon, the two of us together are like half a person, you know? No way can we finish this task on time as a quarter person!"

[Assistant] "A person no longer ashamed by his own worthlessness is a person no more… You’re useless, Barusu."

[User] "Maybe take a look in the mirror?! Look objectively and ask yourself which one of us is the useless one—me or you?"

[Assistant] "Nobody uses this storage room.


[User] "It won’t make a difference if we go lax on the cleaning."

[Assistant] "What happened to ‘going above and beyond’ to fulfill Master Roswaal’s wishes?!"

[User] But Ram only sighed apathetically in reply to Subaru’s self-righteous clapback.

[Assistant] As a result, the team of half-competent cleaners was assigned the task of dusting and tidying the unused storage room in the west wing—assignments that were understandably motivation-crushing. In actual fact, only ten minutes into their cleaning, Ram’s and Subaru’s motivation was completely dead. Since they had cleaned the west wing only three days prior, the lack of filth only drove their motivation to even lower depths.

[User] "But there was a kernel of truth in what you said, Ram. Here I am, dusting, but I feel like I’m just spreading the dust around and accomplishing nothi—hi—achoo!" Subaru sneezed at the dust while Ram sat on the wooden box, ditching her duties.

[Assistant] With a groan, Subaru crouched to pick up the collection of mysterious knickknacks off the floor.

[User] "I’m just cleaning up my own messes at this point. Work is just a negative cycle—oh?" While reaching for his fallen duster, Subaru noticed a difficult-to-see, unnatural join in the floor. He ran his hand along the floor just to make sure and noticed that it was indeed a wooden cover for underfloor storage.

[Assistant] "Ram, there seems to be a trapdoor in this floor—do you know what’s under here?"

[User] "I don’t know…just cut it out, Barusu. A bunch of moths will probably fly out if you open it. If you do open it, make sure that I’ve left the room and locked the door first."

[Assistant] "Why would I need to lock the door? And that ship’s sailed, by the way." Subaru had already found the trapdoor handle, yanked on it, and removed it in one clean motion. What Ram said had given him an ominous feeling, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. In an instant, Ram had jumped off the wooden box and made a beeline for the door to the room. Smirking at her quick escape, Subaru mustered his wits and took a cautious look beneath the floor—

[User] "Woo?" And his mouth and eyes rounded in surprise.


[User] Subaru’s grand announcement was directed at Roswaal, who was seated at the desk in his study.

[Assistant] "Ooooh, how very interesting. Yes, I do recall hearing quite long ago about a secret stash of spirits somewhere in the villa. Under the floor of the west wing…so that’s where it was hiding."

[User] It was the villa that made Subaru crane his neck in curiosity. "Hm? Did you just say ‘villa’? But we found this liquor beneath this mansion."

[Assistant] "Ah yes, I can explain. I am merely using this mansion as a headquarters for Emilia’s preparations for the royal selection—my true home is elsewhere. The primary Mathers residence is muuuuch farther east. Then again, wherever I reside is the Mathers residence, so the distinction is negligible."

[User] "A mansion this big is your second home? Then your main home must be—nope, never mind. I’m too scared to find out. Anyway, since you seemed clueless about it, I guess that liquor stash isn’t really to the taste of the master of the house?"

[Assistant] "Well, though I am the current master of the house, this was my father’s and grandfather’s house before me. I suspect that the underground liquor stash was a little prank by my grandfather or grandmother. I heard they were heeeeavy drinkers."

[User] Subaru lowered his eyebrows in suspicion.

[Assistant] Noticing Subaru’s skepticism, Roswaal winked and said, "My family members have generally not been blessed with long lives, so I’ve never met my grandfather personally. And I haven’t spent muuuuch time with my father and mother, either."

[User] "Ack, sorry, I didn’t want to pry…but I guess that sort of thing happens."

[Assistant] "So—I just brought this box as a sample, but what do you want to do with the rest of your grandfather’s collection? There’s still a lot buried under this house."

[User] "Hum. That’s a good question.


[User] "We could just keep it beneath the floor, and I could have you reinforce the trapdoor, but that seems such a waste—by the way, Subaru, how do you feel about alcohol? Can you hold your liquor? Or does the mere smell of it make you turn red in the face and mumble I don’t want to go home alone tonight…? Which one aaaare you?”

[Assistant] Subaru’s brow wrinkled as he answered the marquis’s question. “So the infamous question people get asked at mixers exists in this world, too… Well, I haven’t actually drunk that much before. You can’t drink until age twenty where I’m from.”

[User] “Age twenty? Well, well, how very patient your people must be.”

[Assistant] Subaru was not actually being dishonest. In his world, he was still underage, so he had no real reason to reach for a bottle of booze. (Also, for the record, he never once attended a mixer.) Subaru Natsuki lived his days utterly devoid of booze, blunts, and babes.

[User] “Oh dear, oh dear, what a surprise. From your personality, I just assumed you would absolutely snatch at a luxury item with eager bravado.”

[Assistant] “I kinda see what you built me up to be in your mind, but sorry, that’s not even slightly me—well, not exactly. I did grab a puff of my dad’s cigarette once when he wasn’t looking. But…”

[User] “But?”

[Assistant] “The moment I got it in my mouth, my dad came back and gave me a good thrashing. Then, to make it worse, my mom told me in a spurt of misplaced tough love that I’d stunted my growth…Anyway, cigarettes and the like are very triggering for me.” If he had bad friends, Subaru might have had a bigger connection to alcohol and cigarettes, but luckily, he didn’t have bad friends—or good friends, either. So the opportunity did not arise.

[User] “A guy can’t stray off the straight and narrow if he can’t even find it to begin with…heh. What a joke,” Subaru muttered to himself.

[Assistant] “Sorry to interrupt your little moment, but I suppose this liquor wouldn’t suffice to reward you?”

[User] “Yeah, I guess not. I actually did drink once—this big old guy coaxed me to drink some, and I thought my throat, stomach, and head would burn off. That’s about it.” Since Roswaal seemed eager to gift Subaru the alcohol, he pointed at the box and said, “Is it legal for a guy my age to drink around here? As I said earlier, I’m less than twenty, so I’m underage. I can’t even access NSFW sites without a guardian’s consent.”

[Assistant] “I don’t quite understand what you just said, but I get the sense that’s something you shouldn’t look at even with a guardian’s consent…Anyway, back to the liquor—the drinking age in Lugunica is fifteen, so you’re cool.”

[User] “Ooh, you’re catching on…”

[Assistant] After successfully using a word he’d picked up from Subaru in a sentence, Roswaal continued, “There’s kingdom law, of course, but each fiefdom has its own laws set by their rulers.


[User] “In other words, the law of this land is made by none other than meeee.”

[Assistant] “Yikes, talk about a dictatorship. So as long as I’m living here, I can legally drink—wait, I’m over fifteen, so I can drink legally by kingdom law anyway, huh.” Even though he was protected by law, Subaru still wasn’t too pleased about receiving a gift of liquor. This was only natural, as he have the taste or appreciation for it. But it would be rude to turn down the liquor as an expensive item and a reward from Roswaal.

[User] “Maybe I could tie it with a ribbon and display it in the corner of my room? Then, when I turn twenty, I can pop open a bottle and revel in my first steps into the future.”

[Assistant] “That’s a long-winded plan. You already have plenty of opportunities to drink—after a bath, after work, in between meals… If you ask meeee, it’s nothing worth savoring.”

[User] “Um, it’s kinda wack to force somebody to drink if he doesn’t want to. Unless you want a lawsuit on your hands, I’d advise against it. Besides, aren’t you being a bit hypocritical? You don’t drink much.”

[Assistant] “I used to drink like most people, but I have cut down quite a bit over the past few years. Though I do have a drink when there’s a party, I still try to drink in moooooderation.” Roswaal shrugged. His posture implied he wasn’t much of a drinker, but he exuded the overpowering aura of a boozehound.

[User] “But I am kinda curious to see if I can hold my liquor…” Drinking was never something that interested Subaru. It wasn’t until alcohol came up in conversation that he suddenly was curious about his tolerance. It was a similar sensation to caring about the results of your grip test in PE class. And then his curiosity migrated to Emilia and the others—how high was their alcohol tolerance? But without an occasion to drink, there really wasn’t any way of testing—

[Assistant] “That’s it—a party! Rozchi, you said that you drink at parties, right?”

[User] “Hum? Well, yessss. I did say that. I’ll joyfully overindulge when it’s a special occasion until I’m tipsy. I am only human.”

[Assistant] “I thought so! Nobody can complain about a little drinking if it’s a joyous occasion.”

[User] Roswaal chuckled seductively. "My goodness—why do you want to get me drunk, my boy?”

[Assistant] “Eew, no. It’s not you I’m after, Rozchi, got it? !” Subaru clapped his hands together after leaping in to shut down the coy-eyed Roswaal.


[User] “If I plan a party for us, I can bring the liquor up from the cellar, right?”

[Assistant] “Aha—well, it was a secret stash anyway. So I might as well let you figure out how to use it up. But I must hand it to you…”

[User] “Hand what to me?”

[Assistant] “Using a party as a pretense to see Lady Emilia and Rem at their most vulnerable…that’s quite the amorous scheme you’ve concocted there, eh, Subaru?”

[User] “That wasn’t my intention, but now you’re making it seem like it was, so please stop? !”

[Assistant] “Now, now, now, I don’t hate the idea.”

[User] “It’s not what you think!” And while not his original intention, the bud of an ulterior motive took root in Subaru’s heart as he began to plan the party.


[Assistant] As soon as Subaru entered the room, he said out of nowhere, “And so I have planned a flower-viewing party for us all—I hope to see you all there!”

[User] “Flower-viewing?” Emilia craned her neck, repeating the unfamiliar turn of phrase. Her silver hair was in a ponytail that day, and she was wearing a long skirt. Her finger was pressed to her sakura-colored lips, but she didn’t seem all too started by the sudden proposal.

[Assistant] “I’ve never heard of anyone doing anything like that before, but it sounds like fun. Flower-viewing… Ooh, flower-viewing…”

[User] “Yup. It’s basically what it sounds like. Where I’m from, as soon as ice season ends, these trees called sakura bloom like crazy with pink blossoms. When they boom, we have picnics under the trees, drinking, eating, and singing… That’s a flower-viewing party!”

[Assistant] “Huh? But it sounds like you don’t get a very good view of the blossoms that way…”

[User] “Yeah, that’s the dark irony of flower-viewing that people don’t like to talk about. Anyway, it’s basically an excuse to party.” Smiling sheepishly over Emilia’s takedown of the flower-viewing tradition, Subaru proceeded to sum up his proposal.

[Assistant] “You bring a picnic of food and drinks and have a good time beneath a bower of beautiful blossoms. That is the main aim of our flower-viewing! It has nothing to do with watching Emilia get drunk and go crazy, I promise, okay?”

[User] Then Emilia frowned. "Aha—now I get it. Goodness, Subaru, you’re a naughty boy."

[Assistant] “Huh?! What?! My evil plot exposed so soon?!”


[User] “Inconceivable!”

[Assistant] “Children mustn’t drink alcohol,” Emilia explained. “It stunts their growth.”

[User] “Wait, you said the same thing as my mom?! Also, hey, I’m not under the kingdom’s legal drinking age! I’m turning eighteen this year! And I’ve got Roswaal’s permission, too! I’m a grown-up, I swear!”

[Assistant] “I don’t think a grown-up would make such a big fuss like that. But, huh, I didn’t know you were eighteen. I’m really surprised… I thought you were much younger.” Emilia smiled sheepishly as Subaru made a fuss over the little nugget of caution she had heard from somewhere.

[User] “Well, I have heard foreigners think Japanese people look young for their age. By the way, how old do I look to you?”

[Assistant] “Twelve…no, thirteen. About thirteen years old!”

[User] “But that’s younger than Felt! Also, thirteen isn’t that much older than twelve!”

[Assistant] “Arrrgh, I need a nap. And hey, you keep saying I’m like a child, but what about you, Emilia-tan? Can you hold your liquor? Are you the type who can drink the whole wine list in one sitting?”

[User] “Sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

[Assistant] “For all my posturing, I’ve actually never had alcohol before. Oh, but I am of legal drinking age. I’m not thirteen.” Emilia gave an awkward cough.

[User] “I don’t doubt you—and if you were thirteen, that’d make me a criminal, besides.”

[Assistant] “Why would you be a criminal, Subaru?”

[User] “Because you’re so cute that you make me want to do something naughty, Emilia-tan…”

[Assistant] “So anyway, Puck told me I must never drink alcohol.”

[User] “You’re just gonna ignore my answer? !” Subaru was stunned by Emilia’s clever new ignoring technique, but Emilia showed no reaction. Instead, the pendant on her neck shined, and a third voice butted into the conversation.

[Assistant] “Of course you can’t drink—alcohol is the preferred drink of bad adults. And you’ll always be my sweet baby girl, Lia, so there’s no need for you to even touch such a vile drink.” Along with the overprotective monologue emerged a swarm of light orbs taking the shape of a tiny cat. The summoned cat spirit sat on Emilia’s shoulder, poked her cheek with his paw, and said,

[User] “I won’t let you drag my baby girl down a dark path. Any party drinks that find their way near my Lia, I’m gulping them all down myself. I won’t let Lia have any! Shoo!


[User] "Shoo!”

[Assistant] “Oh, so you’ll come to the party and drink, I see.” As Puck conducted a spirited shadowboxing match and declared himself Emilia’s protector, it looked like he was just excited to drink himself.

[User] “Emilia-tan, if Puck’s coming, you’re coming, too, right?”

[Assistant] “Huh? Yeah, I’m all right with that. I have a feeling Puck won’t let me drink, but I would love to eat good food under some blossoms. But is everyone else on board with it?”

[User] “I planned the party with Roswaal to begin with, so he’s cool. And if Rozchi’s coming, Ram will too. We’ll have to ask Rem to cook the food and stuff, so I’ll ask her as sincerely as possible and get her to agree. I’ll help with the food, too.” Subaru, who struggled with vegetable peeling in the beginning, had recently become quite the useful kitchen assistant, thanks to the hand dexterity he always had.

[Assistant] To someone like Ram, whose growth was stunted from years of steamed sweet potatoes, his aspirations were on another level. (Also, the keenness of his instructor had something to do with it.)

[User] “Oh, that Rem, she really enjoys cooking with you, Subaru. I know! Can I help with the cooking, too? I know you’ve doubted my culinary abilities in the past, Subaru.”

[Assistant] “Right, I did used to doubt you—well…that doubt still hasn’t cleared, actually.”

[User] “Grrr! You’re so obstinate. Weren’t my rice balls just fine?”

[Assistant] “In flavor, yes. But you struggled a bit in the aesthetic department.” The lunch Emilia gave to Subaru to take with him into the mountains contained simple rice balls. But shape aside, they were abnormally large in size. When a rice ball was as big as a child’s head, it took everything he had just to eat it. It wasn’t an issue of flavor, but of balance. That was Subaru’s evaluation of Emilia’s culinary skills.

[User] “Well, pooh! You don’t have to tell me twice. Just wait. My flower-viewing food will knock your socks off. And it’ll be too late to apologize to me then!” As Emilia puffed herself up in anger,

[Assistant] Subaru’s mouth slipped into an open smirk. While he had his concerns over Emilia wanting to get back at him, he still couldn’t help but be excited about it. “Okay, so when are we having this little get-together?”

[User] “Strike while the iron is hot! —Then again, we won’t be ready for it today. But we have to do it soon before the weather cools down. I was thinking we’d talk it over with the others and maybe do it the day after tomorrow.” He wanted to schedule the picnic around Roswaal, since he had the fullest plate of anybody in the mansion. Any night when he wasn’t away from the mansion would be the day of the flower-viewing. “If our main objective is to look at flowers, maybe the flower fields in the forest would be our best bet?


[User] "Ideally, sakura would be awesome, but wrong season, wrong world." Subaru mused.

[Assistant] Puck smiled. "Drinking alcohol while admiring lots of flowers…hmm, how idyllic." Then his tail shot up and he interjected. "Oh, except if we’re going to look at the forest flowers, we might have a problem."

[User] "What problem is that?"

[Assistant] The tiny cat washed his face, lowered his voice, and explained, "If we leave the mansion, Betty won’t be able to join in the fun. She can’t leave the mansion. It’s her duty."

[User] "Whoa, really? I don’t really get it, but isn’t it okay for her to slip out just for a bit? After all, the master of the house is also attending."

[Assistant] "I understand what you’re trying to say, Subaru, but Betty doesn’t stay in the Archive of Forbidden Books because Roswaal commanded her to or anything. She just can’t leave the mansion." Puck’s oddly assertive insistence confused Subaru into silence.

[User] Subaru wasn’t quite sure how to define his relationship with the Archive shut-in. But leaving her out just didn’t sit right with him. He knew he was not mistaken. This was proud, hard-hearted Beatrice. If she found out that everyone else went on a picnic without her, she would carry that grudge with her until the end of time. "Argh, why is Beako such a pain in the ass! But wait a minute…didn’t she come all the way to the village to heal my wound once? How did she do that?"

[Assistant] "That was a special exception. I asked her to do it, and I was sure surprised when she said yes."

[User] Unable to come up with any other ideas, Subaru fell silent.

[Assistant] Emilia sadly looked down and said, "If Beatrice can’t go, then I guess the flower-viewing party is canceled…right?" Seeing the lonely shadows her long eyelashes cast on her cheeks, Subaru’s heart burst into flames. Now he had to do something.

[User] "Okay—I’ve got an idea!" Subaru clapped his hands loudly, signaling he had come up with a way to bring their picnic plans back from the dead.

[Assistant] And seeing his spirited bounce-back, Emilia’s amethyst eyes glittered with hope.


[User] One thing led to another, and in a flash, it was two days later and time for the party. After receiving Emilia’s blessing, the party preparations proceeded at a rapid pace.

[Assistant] Be that as it may, this was mostly due to Rem’s epic heroism in carrying out all of Subaru’s suggestions. "I can’t embarrass Subaru," Rem explained. "So I’m giving it my best." And with a cute smile, she zipped around cutting fish and meat so quickly it was invisible to the naked eye—Rem’s “best” was uniquely powerful. Despite the sudden increase in workload, Rem helped without a frown. Thanks to that, the party preparations progressed without any problem.


[User] Subaru and Emilia helped get the venue ready, but to preserve their reputations, they would not discuss the efficacy of their efforts. In any case, the party was now close at hand. Subaru let Rem and Emilia handle the rest of the venue decorating while he went where he would carry out a task only he could. And as for that place in question—

[Assistant] “Anyway, everything’s ready. You just need to join us, and everyone will be there.”

[User] “I ask myself this every time…but why do you come in here, I wonder.” With his explosive intuition, Subaru could take himself to the Archive of Forbidden Books at will. While a part of him was pompously proud about it, he felt his power was a little lacking at times—but he set those feelings aside for the day. Beatrice sat atop her stepladder as usual.

[Assistant] Subaru gives an unrestrained slap on her shoulder. “C’mon, get with the program. Today’s the day we’re all having a flower-viewing party. If I told you about it in advance, I know you’d just grumble at me, so I made the party a surprise just for you!”

[User] “The second half of that statement is a refutation of the first! I don’t know what this flower-viewing business is, but why must I attend such a frivolous—”

[Assistant] “See, I knew you’d say that, so I put two arguments into one. Besides, we both know that for all your moaning, you’ll come to the party anyway—so just embrace the inevitable.”

[User] “Could you please get that you-annoy-me-but-I-understand-you look off your face?! You infuriate me! Infuriate me! How could you possibly understand how I feel, I wonder?! For a start, you…” Swatting away Subaru as he tried to drag her off, Beatrice jumped down from her stepladder. Then she glared up at Subaru with light blue eyes.

[Assistant] "Flower-viewing or no flower-viewing, I cannot leave this mansion. You all just go have fun on your own, I suppose. I’m not going any—”

[User] “I can’t let that happen. Have a party and leave you behind to sulk? I’d feel so bad about it that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. So become a party victim for our sake. I won’t take no for an answer.”

[Assistant] “Wh-who gave you the authority to say that, I wonder? !”

[User] “Lalalala—I caaaaan’t heeear you.” As Beatrice screeched in his face, Subaru covered his ears and ignored her. This only made Beatrice’s face grow redder, but Subaru held his ground with the hotheaded girl.

[Assistant] “I know some complicated circumstances prevent you from leaving the mansion—Puck told me. That’s why I planned this party with those circumstances in mind. And everything is already ready. All you need to do now is let me kidnap you.”

[Assistant] “Real talk? I do understand how you feel. I know what it’s like to look forward to some event, then turn into a whiny little flake just before it’s time to go.


[User] "But when I kick myself in the ass and leave the house, I always manage to enjoy myself—that’s the truth. Your ass just needs that first kick, and I’m here to give it to you."

[Assistant] Beatrice scowled in silence. But her defeated sigh and slumped posture was her answer.

[User] With a little chuckle, Subaru clapped her on the shoulder and took her out of the Archive of Forbidden Books. Then they slipped through the halls of the mansion until they arrived—

[Assistant] "All right, come on in! You and I are the final guests to arrive.”

[User] “For crying out loud, what hare-brained scheme is this? I wonder…”

[Assistant] Giving the apathetic Beatrice a push, Subaru opened the door. Then, as he watched the suspicious girl’s eyes fill with surprise out of the corner of his eye, a satisfied smile spread on his face. “And so we have gathered here today for a party to deepen our friendship under the stars… Welcome to the first annual Roswaal Manor Stargazing Party!” Subaru danced in front of the stunned Beatrice, spread his arms wide, and bombastically announced the party’s commencement.


[User] They were in the highest floor of the west wing of Roswaal Manor—the dance hall whose original purpose was long-forgotten. The newly decorated dance hall already had a spirited dancer—a gust of wind blowing in from the open balcony. There was a buffet lining the corner of the overly spacious room, but since there weren’t many party guests, the portions were small. What they lacked in size, however, was more than made up for in quality and appearance.

[Assistant] “Ah—Subaru’s here. And he’s brought Beatrice with him!” Noticing their arrival, Emilia raised her voice to greet them.

[User] “Good evening, Subaru. I knew it was best that we leave Lady Beatrice in your care. That’s why you’re the best Lady Beatrice handler in the mansion.” Hearing her voice, Rem trotted eagerly over to them.

[Assistant] “Awww, you’re making me blush. Though I guess as a top-tier Beako artisan, this is the least I could do.”

[User] “I don’t recall having a ‘handler’ or an ‘artisan’! Humiliating, I suppose!” Beatrice raged at the cheerful pair.

[Assistant] Subaru and Rem peacefully brushed it off. This only made Beatrice shake with anger—until a tiny presence danced onto her shoulder from above. The furball directly beside her face made Beatrice’s eyes light up with cheer.

[User] “Puckie!”

[Assistant] “Hey, Betty, welcome to the party. I was worried you might be too proud to show up…but leave it to Subaru to know which Betty buttons to push.”

[User] “D-don’t say such ridiculous things! You always come first to me. Yes—that’s right. I know it! No lies, I suppose.”

[Assistant] “Ha-ha-ha, glad to hear it. I really hope that’s true.” For some reason, Beatrice’s cheeks stiffened for just a second from Puck’s peaceful response.

[User] Subaru heard none of this because he was busy hearing Rem explain the party setup to him. “The food preparation and service is already finished—Emilia, my sister, and I did that.


[User] "Oh, cool. But I still piled more last-minute tasks on you, like decorating, didn’t I? I really feel bad about that. I swear I’ll make it up to you some time.”

[Assistant] “Oh, that’s all right. I’ll just reward myself by watching you sleep longer than usual tonight.”

[User] “Hm…? Did you just say something? I thought I heard something weird."

[Assistant] “No, no, I said nothing weird at all.” Though Subaru had the feeling he’d missed something important, Rem’s cute smile steered her clear of further scrutiny. Scratching his face, Subaru discarded his puzzlement and headed for the balcony to be a good party host.


[User] "Good evening, Subaru. I see you managed to bring Beatrice along. Good boy.” Emilia smiled and patted Subaru’s head when he came out to join her on the dark, breezy balcony.

[Assistant] Subaru closed his eyes, smiling from the tingly sensation of her white fingers tickling his scalp. “Mmm, a part of me wants to let you baby me like this, but another part of me wants to assert my manliness and induce an awareness that we’re man and woman—it’s a tricky dilemma.”

[User] “Huh? But I already know you’re a young man, and I’m a woman.”

[Assistant] “See, it’s that pesky ‘young’ part I’d like to get rid of…”

[User] “Barusu.” As Subaru surrendered to the control of his heart’s innermost desires, Ram glared sharply at him from her spot at the corner of the balcony beside Roswaal.

[Assistant] He smiled sheepishly as he clearly read the words in her gaze: Just get on with it.

[User] “Here you go, Subaru.” Rem, carrying a silver tray, swooped in to rescue him with impeccable timing.

[Assistant] “Ooh, thanks.” Atop the tray were glasses of liquor. He took a glass and looked around at the others. Emilia, Rem, Roswaal, and Ram each held a glass. And Beatrice, the scowl still plastered on her face, held a glass of juice beside Puck. "Okay, umm—thank you all for attending this party under the moon and stars at Roswaal Manor tonight. We’re holding this soiree in the interest of building solidarity and deepening friendships among the residents here. First, I would like to give you a speech that will serve as a vital accompaniment to this party. The three most important things you need to keep an eye on—”

[User] “Um, Subaru, just a hunch, but is this speech really long?”

[Assistant] “Nah, nah, I was just gonna say always watch out for your stomach, your wallet, your mom, and your temper—wait a minute, that’s four things! It’s a bit. Get it?”

[User] “Barusu.” Under Ram’s even sharper glare, Subaru sheepishly surrendered the role of MC to the party’s host—in other words, Roswaal, the master of the house.


[User] With a smirk on his face from the preceding banter, he lightly raised his glass and said, “I could give a verbose speech, but that would only put a damper on things, so I have only one thing to say—to everyone gathered here, regardless of your circumstances, we are all connected. We may face our fair share of problems in the future, but we shall work together to overcome them. So for tonight, we toast to the stars watching over us from above.”

[Assistant] As Roswaal’s deceptively normal speech hung in the air, everyone raised their glasses and said in one voice, “Cheers!” With the light clinking of glasses, the little drinking party signaled a quaint beginning beneath the stars.


[Assistant] "Hmmm? What’s wrong, Shubaru? You sheem sho…ahaha, you look really weird. And there’s sho many of you too—no fair. All the Shubarus are gonna hog all the desherts to themshelves.”

[User] “I look weird? That hurts—and there’s only one of me! Argh, Emilia-tan, you’re hopeless. Look at how much you’ve spilled…”

[Assistant] Emilia leaned coquettishly against Subaru, her face bright red with a cheerful smile.

[User] “Mmyum…liquor’s yummy. Why’d you all keep thish a shecret from me? Tha’s mean. You all shneaked behind my back…shneaked? Yeah, you shneaked—ee-hee-hee!”

[Assistant] “Oh god, why are you so damn cute!” Emilia had slumped onto the balcony floor, topping off her own glass with more liquor.


[User] “I can’t say this isn’t how I imagined things would unfold or how you would act, but you’re more than just a lightweight—you’re a bad drunk, Emilia-tan.”

[Assistant] “If I had my way, I’d force her to stop drinking and sing her to sleep with some lullabies…” But Subaru had circumstances preventing him from stopping Emilia—her sexily draping herself over him, for one. For another, he very simply could not move from his spot. And as for why—

[User] “Oh, Subaruuu?”

[Assistant] "Yes, Rem? May I help you, ma’am?”

[User] “Glomp.”

[Assistant] “Sorry, ma’am, but you’re hurting me.” As Subaru sat cross-legged on the balcony floor, Rem was lying beside him, using his knee as a pillow.

[User] “Assuming you didn’t get drunk off excitement, you must’ve gotten drunk off the smell of alcohol, of all things. But if that’s the case, what happens when you use wine in cooking? And you also pour wine for Rozchi sometimes.”

[Assistant] “Don’ make fun a me Subaru…Subaru…Subaru…” Rem lifted just her head slightly off Subaru’s knee as she spoke.

[User] “You’re calling my name three times… Um, why is that?”

[Assistant] “My work’s impornant, so I al’ays stay vigilan’. Bu’ today, I’m leddin’ m’self loose ’cos issa party.” She then cut herself off mid-thought, flung her arms around Subaru’s waist, and pushed her head into his stomach.

[User] Subaru was stunned by the unexpected occurrence, but he indulged Rem with some head pats.

[Assistant] Rem purred happily in turn.

[User] “Are you a cat?! You’re supposed to be an Oni… For that matter, Oni are supposed to hold their liquor well." Subaru then craned his neck in sudden confusion.