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            <title>Memoirs: of Mrs. Lætitia Pilkington, wife to the Rev. Mr. Matthew Pilkington. Written by herself. Wherein are occasionally interspersed, all her poems; with anecdotes of several eminent persons, living and dead. Among others, Dean Swift, Alexander Pope, ... [pt.2]</title>
            <author>Pilkington, Laetitia, 1712-1750.</author>
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            <pubPlace>Ann Arbor, Michigan</pubPlace>
            <date when="2011-06">2011 June</date>
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                  <title>Memoirs: of Mrs. Lætitia Pilkington, wife to the Rev. Mr. Matthew Pilkington. Written by herself. Wherein are occasionally interspersed, all her poems; with anecdotes of several eminent persons, living and dead. Among others, Dean Swift, Alexander Pope, ...</title>
                  <author>Pilkington, Laetitia, 1712-1750.</author>
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                  <date>1748.</date>
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      <front>

            <pb facs="tcp:0095100802:1" rendition="simple:additions"/>

MEMOIRS OF Mrs. <hi>Laetitia Pilkington,</hi> WIFE TO THE Rev. Mr.
<hi>Matthew Pilkington.</hi>

Written by HERSELF.

Wherein are occaſionally interſperſed, Her POEMS, With
VARIETY of SECRET TRANSACTIONS of ſome EMINENT PERSONS.

VOL. II.

            <q>
               <l>Curs'd be the Verſe, how well ſo e'er it flow,</l>
               <l>That tends to make one worthy Man my Foe;</l>
               <l>Gives Vice a Sanction, Innocence a Fear,</l>
               <l>Or from the pale eyed Virgin draws a Tear.</l>
               <bibl>POPE.</bibl>
            </q>
            <q>
               <l>—Longa eſt injuria, longae</l>
               <l>Ambages: ſed ſumma ſequar faſtigia rerum.</l>
               <bibl>VIRG. AEN. 1.</bibl>
            </q>
            <q>
               <l>—Pudet haec opprobria nobis,</l>
               <l>Et dici potuiſſe, & non potuiſſe refelli.</l>
               <bibl>OVID.</bibl>
            </q>

               <hi>DUBLIN</hi> Printed: <hi>London</hi> Reprinted: and Sold by
<hi>R. Griffiths,</hi> at the <hi>Dunciad</hi> in <hi>Ludgate-ſtreet.</hi>
1749.

            <pb facs="tcp:0095100802:2"/>
            TO The RIGHT HONOURABLE THE Lord Baron
<hi>Kingſborough.</hi>

            <opener>
               <salute>MY LORD,</salute>
            </opener>

THO' Your Lordſhip has been pleaſed poſitively to prohibit
my Dedicating this Volume to You, yet as I had the following Poem written, I
<pb n="iv" facs="tcp:0095100802:3"/> could not reſiſt the Temptation of prefixing it to my
Work, which I muſt rely on Your Goodneſs to pardon, as

            <closer>
               <signed>I really am, With all poſſible Gratitude, and
Reſpect, Your Lordſhip's Moſt Obliged, Humble Servant, L.
PILKINGTON.</signed>
            </closer>

            <pb n="v" facs="tcp:0095100802:4"/>
            Oh! <hi>KING,</hi> Live for ever!
            <l>TO Thee within whoſe Heaven-illu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>min'd Breaſt,</l>
            <l>Reſides each Virtue, which adorns the Bleſt;</l>
            <l>'Tis bold Preſumption to attune my Lays,</l>
            <l>Seraphic Notes ſhou'd hymn ſublimer Praiſe;</l>
            <l>Angels enthroned, in Bliſs with Rapture view</l>
            <l>Their own Divine Perfections live in You:</l>
            <l>Say, while you wander, thro' the rural Shade</l>
            <l>By Saphire Fount, or Flower-enamell'd Mead,</l>
            <l>By Wiſdom nurs'd, by Contemplation fed,</l>
            <l>By both, to every Art and Science led;</l>
            <l>While ſacred Honour, that immortal Gueſt</l>
            <l>Lives in each Action of thy Life confeſt;</l>
            <l>Wilt Thou, propitious, while I wake the String,</l>
            <l>Attentive liſten to the Strains I ſing;</l>
            <l>No venal Lay I offer to impart,</l>
            <l>Accept the Rapture of a grateful Heart.</l>
            <l>Come, Inſpiration, from thy Hermit-Seat,</l>
            <l>O, give me flowing Numbers ſweetly great!</l>
            <l>Free as his Bounties, beauteous as his Frame,</l>
            <l>And pure and bright, as his unſpotted Fame;</l>
            <l>
               <pb n="vi" facs="tcp:0095100802:5"/>For Nature, prodigal to KING, has given</l>
            <l>All Gifts, admir'd on Earth, and dear to Heaven;</l>
            <l>Then to <hi>Hibernia,</hi> lent this ſacred Store,</l>
            <l>Too bleſt <hi>Hibernia,</hi> can'ſt thou wiſh for more:</l>
            <l>Philoſophers can, from the Noon-tide Sun,</l>
            <l>Extract one ſolar Ray, tho' finely ſpun;</l>
            <l>Then, in that Ray, the various Colours ſhew,</l>
            <l>With which God paints the Rain-foretelling Bow;</l>
            <l>May I, like them, preſume, with happy Art,</l>
            <l>To trace, diſtinct, the Virtues of thy Heart,</l>
            <l>Or turn, aſtoniſh'd, from the dazzling Light,</l>
            <l>And own it too intolerably bright,</l>
            <l>When every Beam does with full Force unite.</l>
            <l>Here did I pauſe, when, lo! the Heaven-born Muſe,</l>
            <l>Who, if aright invok'd, will ne'er refuſe</l>
            <l>Her Aid, appear'd, and ſaid, thy noble Choice</l>
            <l>May better than the Muſe inſpire thy Voice:</l>
            <l>To me eternal Wiſdom gave the Care</l>
            <l>Of KING, no meaner Power could inter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fere;</l>
            <l>
               <pb n="7" facs="tcp:0095100802:6"/>Pleas'd with the Taſk, I took the lovely
Child,</l>
            <l>Blooming as Spring, with Looks ſerenely mild;</l>
            <l>Hence flows beneficent his boundleſs Mind,</l>
            <l>The Joy, the Love, the Friend of Human<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>kind;</l>
            <l>Modeſty, Learning, Genius, Wit, and Taſte,</l>
            <l>By Female Sweetneſs, manly Virtue grac'd;</l>
            <l>Hence take their Source, oh Fav'rite of the Skies!</l>
            <l>To which, tho' late, triumphant ſhalt Thou riſe;</l>
            <l>There mix with Souls, like Thine, divinely pure,</l>
            <l>And taſte the Rapture fitted to endure:</l>
            <l>She ceas'd; Thanks heavenly Viſitant, I ſaid,</l>
            <l>To Thee my Gratitude be ever paid;</l>
            <l>For what, ſufficient, may I render Thee,</l>
            <l>Who rais'd a PATRON that protected me;</l>
            <l>Who view'd my Anguiſh with a pitying Eye,</l>
            <l>When even a Son, and Brother paſt it by.</l>
            <l>All-righteous Heaven, attend my ardent Pray'r,</l>
            <l>Make him thy conſtant, thy peculiar Care,</l>
            <l>Whoſe Mercy, like the Dews that bleſs the Ground.</l>
            <l>Silently falls, refreſhing all around;</l>
            <l>
               <pb n="8" facs="tcp:0095100802:7"/>While, with ſuch winning Grace, his Boun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ties
flow,</l>
            <l>They double all the Bleſſings they beſtow;</l>
            <l>Touch'd with a painful Joy, the lab'ring Heart</l>
            <l>Struggles its mighty Tranſport to impart;</l>
            <l>Meanings crowd thick, the Tongue its Aid denies,</l>
            <l>And ſpringing Tears the Loſs of Speech ſupplies.</l>
            <l>The P—rs of <hi>Ireland</hi> long have been a Jeſt,</l>
            <l>Their own, and ev'ry other Climate's Peſt;</l>
            <l>But KING ſhall grace the Coronet he wears,</l>
            <l>And make it vie with <hi>Britain</hi>'s nobleſt Stars;</l>
            <l>And when, in Time, to grace his nuptial Bed,</l>
            <l>Some chaſte, illuſtrious Charmer he ſhall wed:</l>
            <l>May Love, and Joy, and Truth, the Pomp attend,</l>
            <l>And deathleſs Honour to his Race deſcend.</l>

      </front>

            <pb facs="tcp:0095100802:8"/>
            MEMOIRS OF Mrs. <hi>PILKINGTON.</hi>

SO being entered on a new Scene, I proceed: I got as far as
<hi>Cheſter</hi>; but, as it was Winter, the Stage Coach ſet out but once a
Week, namely on <hi>Mon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>day</hi>; and as I did not land till
<hi>Tueſday,</hi> I had near a Week to ſtay at an Inn, an Expence my poor
Pocket could not well afford. But Providence ſent me a timely Relief; for as
I was ſitting with my Land<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lady, by her Kitchen Fire, a Gentleman came in,
who knew me; he was going to <hi>Ireland,</hi> and the Wind proving contrary,
<pb n="2" facs="tcp:0095100802:9"/> he was a Fellow Priſoner, as I may call it, with me; and a
very agreeable one he proved, for he never permitted me to pay a Farthing. My
Landlady, who was really a Gentlewoman, and he, and I, di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verted away the Time
with Ombre, Read<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing, and Pratling, very tolerably: And as the Gentleman knew
my Misfortunes, and had known all my Family, he very gene<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rouſly, and not
without many Apologies, gave me three Guineas; a very ſeaſonable
Aſſiſtance: Thus we may ſee, that
<q>
                  <l>Each good the virtuous Soul itſelf denies,</l>
                  <l>The watchful Care of Providence ſupplies.</l>
               </q> By this I
was enabled to travel. I learned with great Pleaſure, that a Member of
Par<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liament and two Gentlemen of the Law, had taken Places in the Coach, and
hoped for an agreeable Journey; but ſadly diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>appointed I was, for
certainly three ſuch Brutes I never ſaw; they affronted me every Moment,
becauſe I was born in <hi>Ire<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>land</hi>; and I believe they had not the
Cho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lick, for they made themſelves very eaſy: <pb n="3" facs="tcp:0095100802:10"/> But the
worſt Circumſtance of all was, that they uſed to ſit up drinking all
Night, and forced me to pay my Club for their Wine, though I never even ſaw
it.

They were great <hi>Walpolians,</hi> and many a Trick in the
Elections did they relate before me, taking it for granted that I was a Fool:
At laſt, they very civilly de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>manded of me, what Buſineſs I had to
<hi>Lon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>don?</hi> So, reſolving to divert myſelf, I told them, I was going
there in hopes Sir <hi>Robert</hi> would marry me; this made them very merry,
they laughed at my Folly, and I at theirs. At length we picked up a
<hi>Welch</hi> Parſon, of whom I had the Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour of making a Conqueſt,
which afford<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed us great Entertainment, for about fifty Miles. I always
permitted him to pay my Club; but, like a true Levite, he began to offer a
little more of his Civility than I was willing to accept of; ſo, finding that
would not do, he made me a Preſent of a Ginger-bread-nut, curiouſly wrapt
up in white Paper, and after making me give him a Promiſe to write to him, he
left us.

               <pb n="4" facs="tcp:0095100802:11"/>As my Fellow-Travellers had obſerved his
amorous Behaviour, and ſaw him de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liver his Preſent, they earneſtly
requeſted to know what it was; ſo to oblige them, I ſhewed it. When we
came to <hi>St. Al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bans,</hi> we were met by a Gentleman in a Coach and Six,
whom they ſtiled the great Mr. <hi>Mid—ton,</hi> of
<hi>Chirk-Caſtle</hi> in <hi>Denbigh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſhire,</hi> who was related to them
all; ſo they went into his Coach, and I got two Fe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>male Companions. However,
we all baited at the ſame Inn at <hi>Barnet,</hi> and this prodigious Man
inſiſted on having the Ladies for his Gueſts; and, laying hold of my
Hand, he ſwore that little <hi>Hibernian</hi> Nymph ſhould dine with him;
ſo up Stairs we all went, where he entertained us with an Account of his
ample Eſtate, ſaying, it was much larger than the Duke of
<hi>Bedford</hi>'s; but how unworthy he was to poſſeſs it, the Sequel
will ſhew.

My Adventures with the <hi>Welch</hi> Parſon made him laugh very
heartily; and he in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſiſted on my keeping my Promiſe in writ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing to him,
aſſuring me he would take care <pb n="5" facs="tcp:0095100802:12"/> the Letter ſhould go
ſafe. So, by way of Amuſement, I ſcribbled as follows:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <opener>
                        <salute>SIR,</salute>
                     </opener>
                     <epigraph>
                        <q>
                           <l>Your Ginger-bread, unbroken,</l>
                           <l>Remains a true Love Token.</l>
                        </q>
                     </epigraph>

I Am aſſured, by your honourable Coun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>trymen, that you
paſs for a Wit in <hi>Wales</hi>; it is therefore my ſincere Advice to you,
never to quit it, leſt the reſt of the World ſhould be malicious enough
to re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fuſe you your due Praiſe. As for the Favour you offered to me, why
you offer<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed it like a Prieſt, and I refuſed it like a Fool; if you write
to me, direct, To the Right Honourable the Lady <hi>W—lp—le,</hi>
in <hi>Downing-ſtreet, Weſtminſter.</hi> I will en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>deavour to prevail on
my Spouſe elect to ſend you a Fiddle and a Hogſhead of good
<hi>October,</hi> to entertain your Pariſhioners every <hi>Sunday.</hi>

                     <closer>
                        <signed>I am, ſweet Sir Crape, Yours.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

               <pb n="6" facs="tcp:0095100802:13"/>Mr. <hi>Mid—ton</hi> ſaid, he thought I
could read Men as well as Sir <hi>Robert.</hi> But now
<q>
                  <l>Came the Reckoning, when the Feaſt was o'er,</l>
                  <l>The dreadful Reck'ning! and we ſmil'd no more.</l>
               </q> For
our Grandee made us pay our Club! 'tis true, indeed, he writ ſomething to
make me amends, which was this:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <opener>
                        <salute>My Charmer,</salute>
                     </opener>

IF you will leave a Line for me at <hi>Brownjohn</hi>'s
Coffee-Houſe in <hi>Or<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mond Street,</hi> and give me a Direction where to
find you, you ſhall find a Friend in

                     <closer>
                        <signed>J. M—n.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

But really I never did, ſo we parted, and I never ſaw him
more. The Sample he had given of the Narrowneſs of his Heart was ſufficient
to diſguſt me; and tho' I am not fond of making national Reflections, yet I
would of all things <pb n="7" facs="tcp:0095100802:14"/> never truſt a <hi>Welchman,</hi>
leſt, as <hi>Falſtaff</hi> ſays of the <hi>Welch</hi> Fairy, he ſhould
trans<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>form me into a Piece of toaſted Cheeſe.

At length I got to <hi>London,</hi> where, after having paid all
Demands, I had three Guineas left, with which the next Day I took a Lodging in
<hi>Berry-Street, St. James</hi>'s.

I wrote to <hi>Ireland</hi> to no purpoſe it ſeemed; for I
never got any Anſwer; ſo in a very ſhort Time I was in great
Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>treſs, and knew not what to do. Having heard Mr. <hi>Ed—d
W—p—le</hi> was a very humane Gentleman, I wrote to him, and he
ſent me a Letter in return, wherein he promiſed to wait on me the next
Evening, and accordingly came; nay, and ſate with me three Hours; at the End
of which Time he told me, he did not know how he could poſſibly be of any
Service to me. I told him I had ſome Poems, which I intended to print by
Sub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſcription, and if he would do me the Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour of promoting it, it was all
the Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vour I deſired.—He anſwered, if he undertook it, he ſhould
certainly neglect <pb n="8" facs="tcp:0095100802:15"/> it; but however he would give me ſome
Money; ſo he pulled out his Purſe, and took out five Guineas: Would not any
Perſon have then thought themſelves ſure of them? but according to the
old Pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verb, <hi>Many a thing falls out between the Lip and the Cup</hi>; the
Gentleman took a ſecond Thought, and put the Guineas in his Purſe again,
aſſuring me, it was not convenient for him to part with them.

And, indeed, I believe he is a Beaſt without a Heart; for this
is his conſtant Anſwer to every Perſon, as I have fre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quently obſerved,
when thoſe whom he choſe for Friends and Companions wanted but the
ſmalleſt Aſſiſtance from him. So he
<q>
                  <l>For Poets open Table kept,</l>
                  <l>But ne'er conſider'd where they ſlept;</l>
                  <l>Himſelf, as rich as fifty Jews,</l>
                  <l>Was eaſy, tho' they wanted Shoes.</l>
                  <bibl>Swift.</bibl>
               </q>

On this I aroſe, and told him, as I perceived it was not in his
Inclination to do <pb n="9" facs="tcp:0095100802:16"/> me any Service, I would no longer take up
his important Time, and civilly diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſſed him.

Mr. <hi>Dodſley</hi> ventured to print THE TRIAL OF CONSTANCY,
by which I got about five Guineas, and a much greater Happineſs, the Favour
and Friendſhip of the POET LAUREAT. I was adviſed to encloſe one of them
to him, which I did, in as genteel a Letter as I knew how to write: The good
Gentleman came to viſit me, and did me every Act of Friendſhip in his
Power; it is to his un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>wearied Zeal in my Behalf, that I owe that I yet live to
thank him; for,
<q>
                  <l>Had I not been by him ſupply'd,</l>
                  <l>I muſt a thouſand Times have dy'd.</l>
               </q>

I muſt not here omit, that when the Poem was publiſhed, I
encloſed two of them to Mr. <hi>W—lp—le,</hi> who wrote me a
Letter of Thanks, and that was all: <hi>Mem.</hi> he owes me Two Shillings.

As I wanted to make Intereſt with the Great, I took a Lodging in
<hi>St. James</hi>'s <pb n="10" facs="tcp:0095100802:17"/>
               <hi>Street,</hi> exactly oppoſite
to <hi>White</hi>'s Choco<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>late-houſe, where happening to ſee Capt.
<hi>Meade</hi> go in, I wrote over to him, and he was ſo kind to give me an
Invitation to his Houſe, which was within a ſmall Mile from
<hi>Hampton-Court,</hi> a delightful Walk through <hi>Buſhy-Park</hi> leading
to it: This ſaved me a great deal of Expence: for as the Parliament was now
broke up, <hi>London</hi> was quite empty, and Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> being gone
to <hi>Tunbridge,</hi> I could not, 'till the Return of Winter, hope to gain
any Sub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſcribers, ſo I went into the Country with great Pleaſure.

The Captain had a very ſweet Dwelling, a pretty Wife, and four
lovely Children. We went to Church the following <hi>Sunday:</hi> Dr.
<hi>Hales</hi> was Miniſter of the Pariſh, and it was cuſtomary with him,
whenever he ſaw a Stranger in his Congregation, to pay them a Viſit; ſo,
after Evening Prayer, we were honoured with his Company. Capt. <hi>Meade</hi>
told him, I was his Siſter Parſon and Siſter Writer; a merry Sort of an
Introduction. The Doctor aſked me, what I wrote? and the Captain an<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſwered
<pb n="11" facs="tcp:0095100802:18"/> for me, that I was going to pub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liſh a Volume of Poems
by Subſcription. I told the Doctor, my Writings might amuſe, but his made
the World the wiſer and the better, as I had had the Pleaſure of reading
them. I turned the Diſcourſe to Natural Philoſphy, on which the Doctor
gave us an Invitation to a Courſe of Ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>periments the next Day. Tho' nothing
I then ſaw was new to me, yet his Reflec<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tions on every Object were, as by
them he demonſtrated the Divinity; and, wrapt in holy Extaſy, he ſoared
above this little terrene Spot, and, like a true High Prieſt, led his
Auditors up to the Holieſt of Holies.

After this ſacred Banquet, with which my Soul was ſo elevated,
that I could not avoid paying him my Acknowledgments in, I believe, an
enthuſiaſtic Strain, we walked into the Garden, where we were entertained
with ſome fine Fruit, Cream, Wine, <hi>&c.</hi> a rural Collation.

The Doctor aſked me, if I had any printed Propoſals for my
Poems, to which he promiſed not only to ſubſcribe himſelf, but alſo
to uſe his Intereſt for me; I told <pb n="12" facs="tcp:0095100802:19"/> him I had, and that
I would give him ſome when I came to Prayers the next Morning.

But I could not ſleep all Night, ſo at Day-break I aroſe,
and walked into <hi>Buſhy-Park</hi>; I ſat down by the Side of a fine
Caſcade, and liſtened to the tunefully-fall<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ling Waters ſo long, that
methought they became vocal, and uttered articulate Sounds; 'till, lulled by
them, I fell in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſenſibly aſleep, when ſuddenly I imagined the
Water-Nymph, to whom this Spring belonged, aroſe before me with a lovely
Countenance, and a tranſparent azure Robe, and putting a Paper into my Hand,
diſappeared. I thought I read it; and as I preſently awoke, I remembered
all the Lines; ſo, having a Pencil and Sheet of Paper in my Pocket, I wrote
them down.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To the Reverend Dr. <hi>HALES.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>HAIL, holy Sage! whoſe compre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>henſive Mind,</l>
                        <l>Not to this narrow Spot of Earth confin'd,</l>
                        <l>Thro' num'rous Worlds can Nature's Laws explore,</l>
                        <l>Where none but NEWTON ever trod before;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="13" facs="tcp:0095100802:20"/>And, guided by Philoſophy
divine,</l>
                        <l>See thro' his Works th' Almighty Maker ſhine:</l>
                        <l>Whether you trace him thro' yon rolling Spheres,</l>
                        <l>Where, crowned with boundleſs Glory, he appears;</l>
                        <l>Or in the Orient Sun's reſplendent Rays,</l>
                        <l>His ſetting Luſtre, or his Noontide Blaze,</l>
                        <l>New Wonders ſtill thy curious Search at<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tend,</l>
                        <l>Begun on Earth, in higheſt Heav'n to end.</l>
                        <l>O! while thou doſt thoſe God-like Works purſue,</l>
                        <l>What Thanks, from Humankind, to Thee are due!</l>
                        <l>Whoſe Error, Doubt, and Darkneſs, You remove,</l>
                        <l>And charm down Knowledge from her Throne above.</l>
                        <l>Nature, to Thee, her choiceſt Secrets yields,</l>
                        <l>Unlocks her Springs, and opens all her Fields;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="14" facs="tcp:0095100802:21"/>Shews the rich Treaſure that her
Breaſt contains,</l>
                        <l>In azure Fountains, or enamell'd Plains;</l>
                        <l>Each healing Stream, each Plant of vir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tuous Uſe,</l>
                        <l>To thee their Medicinal Pow'rs produce:</l>
                        <l>Pining Diſeaſe and Anguiſh wing their Flight,</l>
                        <l>And roſy Health renews us to Delight.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>When You, with Art, the Animal diſſect,</l>
                        <l>And, with the microſcopic Aid, inſpect,</l>
                        <l>Where, from the Heart, unnumber'd Ri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vers glide,</l>
                        <l>And faithful back return their purple Tide;</l>
                        <l>How fine the Mechaniſm, by Thee diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>play'd!</l>
                        <l>How wonderful is ev'ry Creature made!</l>
                        <l>Veſſels, too ſmall for Sight, the Fluids
ſtrain,</l>
                        <l>Concoct, digeſt, aſſimilate, ſuſtain:</l>
                        <l>In deep Attention, and Surprize, we gaze,</l>
                        <l>And, to Life's Author, raptur'd, pour out Praiſe.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <pb n="15" facs="tcp:0095100802:22"/>
                        <l>What Beauties doſt Thou open to the Sight,</l>
                        <l>Untwiſting all the Golden Threads of Light!</l>
                        <l>Each Parent Colour tracing to its Source,</l>
                        <l>Diſtinct they live, obedient to Thy Force!</l>
                        <l>Nought from Thy Penetration is con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceal'd,</l>
                        <l>And LIGHT, Himſelf, ſhines to Thy Soul reveal'd.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>So when the Sacred Writings You diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>play,</l>
                        <l>And on the mental Eye ſhed purer Day;</l>
                        <l>In radiant Colours Truth array'd we ſee,</l>
                        <l>Confeſs her Charms, and guided up by Thee;</l>
                        <l>Soaring ſublime, on Contemplation's Wings,</l>
                        <l>The Fountain ſeek, whence Truth eter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nal ſprings.</l>
                        <l>Fain would I wake the conſecrated Lyre,</l>
                        <l>And ſing the Sentiments Thou didſt in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpire!</l>
                        <l>But find my Strength unequal to a Theme,</l>
                        <l>Which aſks a <hi>Milton</hi>'s, or a Seraph's Flame!</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="16" facs="tcp:0095100802:23"/>If, thro' weak Words, one Ray of
Reaſon ſhine,</l>
                        <l>Thine was the Thought, the Errors only mine.</l>
                        <l>Yet may theſe Numbers to thy Soul im<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>part</l>
                        <l>The humble Incenſe of a grateful Heart.</l>
                        <l>Trifles, with GOD himſelf, Acceptance find,</l>
                        <l>If offer'd with Sincerity of Mind;</l>
                        <l>Then, like the Deity, Indulgence ſhew,</l>
                        <l>Thou, moſt <hi>like Him,</hi> of all his Works
be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>low.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

After this pleaſing Reverie, I returned home, and had
ſufficient Time to tranſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cribe the Lines fair, and dreſs myſelf ere the
Bell rung for Morning Prayer. As we were coming out of Church, I gave the Poem
and ſome Propoſals, made up in a Pacquet, to the Doctor; who came in the
Evening to viſit us, and brought an<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>other Clergyman with him, who was the
Miniſter of <hi>Henley upon Thames</hi>; they both ſubſcribed to me, and
took a good many of the Propoſals, which they diſpoſed of to Perſons of
Diſtinction.

               <pb n="17" facs="tcp:0095100802:24"/>So having got a little Money, and Capt.
<hi>Meade</hi> being commanded on Duty to the <hi>Tower</hi> for ſix Months,
we all came to <hi>London</hi>; where finding my Lodging emp<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ty, I once more
returned to <hi>St. James</hi>'s.

My good Friend Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> was my firſt Viſitor: He
had got about four Gui<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neas for me; and told me, he was aſſured, by a
Gentleman of <hi>Ireland,</hi> who frequented <hi>White</hi>'s, that my
Huſband was a Poet, and that all I had to publiſh were only ſome Trifles
I had ſtolen from him, which had greatly injured me:
<q rend="inline">"But (ſaid he) to ſet that Right, you muſt
take ſome Subject, that has never yet been touched upon, dreſs it
poetically, and ſend the Lines to <hi>White</hi>'s."</q> This was really a
hard Taſk; but as my Credit was now at Stake, I was obliged to exert
myſelf, and the next Day ſent him the following Lines.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To Mr. <hi>CIBBER.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>WHEN You advis'd me, Sir, to chuſe</l>
                        <l>Some odd new Subject for the Muſe,</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="18" facs="tcp:0095100802:25"/>From Thought to Thought unpleas'd I
chang'd,</l>
                        <l>Thro' Nature, Art, and Science rang'd;</l>
                        <l>Yet ſtill could nought diſcover New,</l>
                        <l>Till, happily, I fix'd on You.</l>
                        <l>Your Stoic Turn, and chearful Mind,</l>
                        <l>Have mark'd You, out of all Mankind,</l>
                        <l>The oddeſt Theme my Muſe can find.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Like other Men, you nothing do;</l>
                        <l>The World's one Round of Joy to You.</l>
                        <l>The Wiſe, the Weak, the Sot, the Sage,</l>
                        <l>Your Hours can equally engage:</l>
                        <l>Tho' Senſe and Merit are Your Choice,</l>
                        <l>You can with gayeſt Fops rejoice;</l>
                        <l>Can taſte them all, in Seaſon fit,</l>
                        <l>And match their Follies, or their Wit.</l>
                        <l>Truth has in you ſo fix'd her Seat,</l>
                        <l>Not all your Converſe with the Great</l>
                        <l>Has yet miſled you to Deceit.</l>
                        <l>Your Breaſt ſo bare, ſo free from Blame,</l>
                        <l>Why ſure your Heart and Tongue's the ſame!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Moſt Hearts the harder grow with Years,</l>
                        <l>But yours yet lends th' Afflicted Tears;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="19" facs="tcp:0095100802:26"/>Has Merit pin'd in Want and Grief?</l>
                        <l>Your bounteous Hand has brought Relief.</l>
                        <l>To you, where Frailty ſhades the Soul,</l>
                        <l>One ſhining Grace commends the whole.</l>
                        <l>Can no Experience make you wiſer,</l>
                        <l>Nor Age convert you to a Miſer?</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>New too in other Points I find you,</l>
                        <l>Where modern Wits are thrown behind you.</l>
                        <l>Some praiſe a Patton, and reveal him;</l>
                        <l>You paint ſo true, you can't conceal him:</l>
                        <l>Their gawdy Praiſe undue, but ſhames him,</l>
                        <l>While yours, by Likeneſs, only names him.</l>
                        <l>Not Wit, that libels, makes you grave,</l>
                        <l>At what you ſmile, my Senſe wou'd rave;</l>
                        <l>While jealous Bards by Dunces ſtung,</l>
                        <l>With Verſe provok'd, aveng'd the Wrong.</l>
                        <l>With an uncommon Candour, you</l>
                        <l>Such Bards more humanely ſubdue:</l>
                        <l>Calm and compos'd, your conſcious Spirit</l>
                        <l>Can celebrate with Praiſe their Merit:</l>
                        <l>Thus yielding conquer; for ſure Nature</l>
                        <l>Muſt feel ſuch Praiſe ſting worſe than
Satyr.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <pb n="20" facs="tcp:0095100802:27"/>
                        <l>Still am I warm'd to ſing your Oddneſs,</l>
                        <l>Your Singularity in Goodneſs!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>When to the Wealthy and the Great,</l>
                        <l>Adorn'd with Honours and Eſtate,</l>
                        <l>My Muſe, forlorn! has ſent her Pray'r,</l>
                        <l>Shunn'd were the Accents of Deſpair,</l>
                        <l>'Till your excited Pity ſped her,</l>
                        <l>And with collected Bounties fed her;</l>
                        <l>Chear'd her ſad Thoughts, like genial Spring,</l>
                        <l>And tun'd once more her Voice to ſing.</l>
                        <l>Bear then her grateful Notes, and be</l>
                        <l>Yourſelf her Theme and Harmony.</l>
                        <l>Cou'd ſhe, like yours, exalt her Lays,</l>
                        <l>Polite Artificer of Praiſe!</l>
                        <l>From the ſweet Song you'd jealous grow,</l>
                        <l>And guard the Laurel on your Brow.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>If, which I know, theſe Facts are true,</l>
                        <l>Confeſs, at leaſt, the Verſe is new,</l>
                        <l>That publicly ſpeaks well of you.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

This met with a very favourable Recep<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, and Mr.
<hi>Cibber</hi> ſhewed it to all the <pb n="21" facs="tcp:0095100802:28"/> Noblemen at
<hi>White</hi>'s, as a Means to engage them to ſubſcribe to me, which, to
oblige him, many of them did; and, to make it public, Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi>
inſerted it in a Pam<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>phlet of his own called the <hi>Egotiſt,</hi> or
<hi>Colley upon Cibber.</hi>

The next Day a pleaſant droll Gentleman, who was ſo old that
he had been Page to King <hi>James</hi> when he was Duke of <hi>York,</hi>
inſiſted on Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi>'s introducing him to me, which accordingly
he did. This Gentleman, who was a Colonel in the firſt Regiment of Foot
Guards, had by Nature all that Education gives to others; neither had his Years
in the leaſt depreſt the Vi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vacity or Gallantry of his Spirit. He ſaid a
thouſand witty Things in half an Hour, and at laſt, with as great Gravity
as his comic Face would admit of, ſaid, that he wiſhed I would take him
into Keep<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing. I anſwered, I had really never ſeen any Perſon with whom I
was better enter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tained, and, therefore, if he would make over all his real and
perſonal Eſtate to me, and diſpoſe of his Regiment, and give me the
Money, I would keep him—<pb n="22" facs="tcp:0095100802:29"/> out of it. He ſwore a good
Oath, he be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieved me, and liked me for my Sinceri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ty.—I could relate a
Number of pleaſant Stories of this old Gentleman; but as his Wit generally
bordered on Indecen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cy, and ſometimes on Prophaneneſs, they are not proper
for a female Pen.

He uſed to hire me to write Love Let<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ters to him, which, as a
Proof of his being a young Man, he ſhewed at <hi>White</hi>'s; Lord
<hi>W—m—th</hi> was curious to ſee the Writer; upon which he
brought his Lordſhip, and Lord <hi>Aug—ſtus F—tz
R—y,</hi> ſince dead, to viſit me. They bantered me on my Taſte, in
writing ſo many fine Things to an old Fellow, when ſo many young ones,
themſelves in particular, would be proud of them—I aſſured their
Lordſhips, I would oblige them on the ſame Terms I did the Colonel, who
always paid me hand<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſomely for my Compliments.

This turned all their Raillery on the Co<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lonel, who with great
good Humour con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>feſſed the Truth.
<q rend="inline">"Why Colonel, ſaid Lord <hi>F—z
R—y,</hi> you told us you ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ported <pb n="23" facs="tcp:0095100802:30"/> this
Lady."—</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Ay, returned he, but you know I am an old
Lyar."</q>

The Noblemen inſiſted on my telling them how much a piece the
Colonel gave me for writing Billetdoux to him. The Colonel anſwered, that his
Money had been fatal to my Family; for that he had lent my Uncle Colonel
<hi>Mead</hi> twenty Guineas one Night at the Groom Porters, who died the next
Morning of an Apoplectic Fit; and ſo, ſaid he,
<q rend="inline">"out of pure Af<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fection to my dear little one
here, I am very cautious how I give her any; be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſides, added he, very archly,
I could not be convinced of the Sincerity of her Paſſion for me, if ſhe
made any De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mands on my Pocket."</q>

Lord <hi>W—m—th</hi> aſked me, how I approved of
this Doctrine? I anſwered, the Colonel, had ſo genteel and witty a manner
of excuſing his Avarice, that ſhould he ever grow generous, we ſhould
loſe a thouſand Pleaſantries.

Each of the Noblemen gave me a Guinea, by way of Subſcription to
my Poems; they preſſed hard on the Colonel <pb n="24" facs="tcp:0095100802:31"/> for his
Contribution, which, for the Rea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſons aforeſaid, he abſolutely
refuſed.

This gave Occaſion to the following Lines; which, leſt the
Colonel ſhould not communicate, I incloſed to Lord
<hi>F—z-R—y.</hi>
               <q>
                  <lg>
                     To the Hon. Colonel <hi>D—NC—BE.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>SINCE ſo oft to the Great of my Favours you boaſt,</l>
                        <l>When, you know, you enjoy'd but ſome Kiſſes at
moſt;</l>
                        <l>And thoſe, as you ſay, never ought to be ſold,</l>
                        <l>For Love's too divine, to be barter'd for Gold.</l>
                        <l>Since this is your Maxim, I beg a Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceipt,</l>
                        <l>To know, how without it a Lover can eat.</l>
                        <l>For tho' the fine Heroes, we read in Ro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mances,</l>
                        <l>Subſiſted whole Weeks upon amorous Fancies;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="25" facs="tcp:0095100802:32"/>And yet were ſo ſtrong, if thoſe
Writers ſay true,</l>
                        <l>That Dragons, and Giants, ſome thou<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſands they
ſlew;</l>
                        <l>Thoſe Chiefs were of Origin ſurely divine!</l>
                        <l>And deſcended from <hi>Jove,</hi> as direct as a
Line.</l>
                        <l>But in our corrupted, degenerate Days,</l>
                        <l>We find neither Heroes, nor Lovers, like theſe:</l>
                        <l>Our Men have ſcarce Courage to ſpeak to a Laſs,</l>
                        <l>'Till they've had a full Meal, and a chir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rupping
Glaſs;</l>
                        <l>And ſo much in myſelf of the Mortal I find,</l>
                        <l>That my Body wants Diet, as well as my Mind.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Now, pray, Sir, conſider the Caſe of your
Miſtreſs,</l>
                        <l>Who neither can kiſs, nor write Verſes, in
Diſtreſs:</l>
                        <l>For <hi>Bacchus,</hi> and <hi>Ceres,</hi> we frequently
prove,</l>
                        <l>Are Friends to the Muſes, as well as to Love.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

               <pb n="26" facs="tcp:0095100802:33"/>Lord <hi>A—ſtus</hi> did not fail to
ſhew the Lines to all the Noblemen at <hi>White</hi>'s, who heartily bantered
the Colonel on his Gene<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>roſity to his Miſtreſs.

The next Day, as I was ſprinkling ſome Flower-pots, which
ſtood on very broad Leads, under the Dining-room Window, Colonel
<hi>D—nc—be,</hi> the Duke of <hi>B—lt—n,</hi> and the
Earl of <hi>W—nch—ea</hi> ſtood filling out Wine, and drinking to
me: So I took up the Pen and Ink, full in their View; and, as I was not
acquainted with any of them, except the Colonel, I ſent over to him theſe
Lines:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     <l>YOUR roſy Wine</l>
                     <l>Looks bright and fine;</l>
                     <l>But yet it does not chear me:</l>
                     <l>The Cauſe I gueſs,</l>
                     <l>Is ſurely this,</l>
                     <l>The Bottle is not near me.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>You ſhew that Sight,</l>
                     <l>To give Delight,</l>
                     <l>If I may truly judge ye:</l>
                     <l>But would ye move</l>
                     <l>My Wit, or Love,</l>
                     <l>I beg, Sir, I may pledge ye.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

               <pb n="27" facs="tcp:0095100802:34"/>Lord <hi>W—nch—ea</hi> bid the
Colonel ſend me all the Wine in the Houſe:
<q rend="inline">"Ah! (ſaid the Colonel) that might in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>jure her
Health, but I will ſend her one Bottle of <hi>Burgundy,</hi> to chear her
Spirits."</q> Accordingly the Waiter brought it; the Noblemen all gathered to
the Window, ſo he filled me out a Glaſs, which, mak<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing them a low
Reverence, I drank, and retired.

But the Colonel, reſolving to have Share, quickly followed his
Bottle; he came in a deſperate ill Temper; curſed the K—g, D—
of <hi>C—l—d,</hi> the whole M—y, and me into the Bargain. I
aſked him, whether giving me a Bottle of Wine had grieved him ſo much? He
ſaid, No; but that he had been fifty Years in the Army, and was but
Lieute<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nant-Colonel; and that the D— of <hi>C—l—d</hi> had
put a young Fellow over his Head. He pulled down his Stocking, and ſhewed me
where he had been ſhot through the Leg at the Siege of <hi>Liſle</hi>; then
he opened his Boſom, on <pb n="28" facs="tcp:0095100802:35"/> which he had ſeveral
honourable Scars, and ſwore heartily, that, were it not in a Time of War, he
would throw up his Commiſſion. I could not but agree, that his Reſentment
had but too juſt a Foun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dation;
<q rend="inline">"But, dear Sir, I had no hand in all this."</q>
               <q rend="inline">"No; (ſaid he) but I did not know any Perſon,
to whom I could ſpeak my Mind freely, or who would bear my Peeviſhneſs,
but you."</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Well, Sir, (ſaid I) an you were as pee<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>viſh
as an Emperor, I'll bear it all, ſince you pleaſe to beſtow it on
me.—But I believe we had as good drink our <hi>Burgundy,</hi> and we will
new model the Government according to our Fancies."</q> He ſat very
penſive, ſaid his Head aked, then roſe in a ſurly Sort of a manner, and
went over to <hi>White</hi>'s.

Whether any thing he had met with there pleaſed him, I know not,
but about Nine at Night, as I ſat writing, I heard his Voice on the Stairs,
crying,
<q rend="inline">"Poke after me, my Lord, poke after me."</q> So I
bid my Maid, light the Colonel up: He brought with him his Grace of
<pb n="29" facs="tcp:0095100802:36"/>
               <hi>M—lb—gh,</hi> a lovely Gentleman; he
preſented him to me, by his Title, which was honoured by his wearing it. The
D— ſaluted me; but what ſhall I now ſay! I think my boaſted
Conſtancy of Mind quite forſook me; I trembled at his Touch, and, though I
knew not why, was more diſordered at Sight of him, than ever I had been
before in my Life. The Colonel aſked me, what was the Matter? I ſaid, I
believed I had drank too much Tea, which, joined to the unex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pected Honour he
had now conferred on me, put me into a little Flutter.

His Grace laid hold of my Hand, and kiſſed it, ſaying, it
was the ſweeteſt Thing in Nature, to put a Lady into a little Hurry of
Spirits,
<q rend="inline">"and ſo, ſaid he, Colonel, I ſhall meet you
at <hi>White</hi>'s, either to-night or to-morrow Morn<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing; for I have a mind
to have a little Chat with this Lady alone."</q> The Colonel knew his Duty too
well to diſobey a <hi>M—lb—gh,</hi> and left us, wiſhing his
Grace Succeſs.

               <pb n="30" facs="tcp:0095100802:37"/>Now, indeed, for the firſt Time, I was
afraid of myſelf; but was infinitely more ſo, when his Grace told me, he
had learned from the Colonel, that I was in ſome Diſtreſs, and, opening
his Pocket-Book, preſented me with a Bank Note on Sir <hi>Francis Child</hi>
for Fifty Pounds.

This was the Ordeal, or fiery Trial; Youth, Beauty, Nobility of
Birth, and unſought Generoſity, attacking at once the moſt deſolate
Perſon in the World. His Grace, I believe, gueſſed at my
Ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>prehenſions, by the Concern which was but too viſible in my Countenance,
and generouſly aſſured me, that he was above making any hard Conditions,
that I might look up with Chearfulneſs, and not rivet my Eyes to the Floor,
but conſider him as a ſincere and diſintereſted Friend.

This quite revived me, and gave me an unuſual Flow of Spirits,
which highly pleaſed my illuſtrious Benefactor: He de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſired I would write
ſomething merry to the Colonel, who, at his Departure, charged me not to
wrong his Bed. So to pleaſe his Grace, and alſo to convince him I
<pb n="31" facs="tcp:0095100802:38"/> could write, I gave him, in about ten Minutes, the
following Lines.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     <l>
                        <hi>STREPHON</hi> to-night his <hi>Chloe</hi> told,</l>
                     <l>He had the Head-ach, and grew old;</l>
                     <l>Tho' well ſhe knew her artful Swain</l>
                     <l>But counterfeited Age and Pain,</l>
                     <l>To hide his cold declining Paſſion,</l>
                     <l>His Want of Love and Inclination;</l>
                     <l>For <hi>Chloe</hi>'s Face, ſo often ſeen,</l>
                     <l>Put her poor <hi>Strephon</hi> in the Spleen;</l>
                     <l>Nor could her Wit, or Neatneſs pleaſe him,</l>
                     <l>Or all her Smiles or Prattle raiſe him:</l>
                     <l>He left the penſive Nymph alone,</l>
                     <l>His painful Abſence to bemoan.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>
                        <hi>Strephon</hi> beware, leſt in return,</l>
                     <l>With a new Flame your <hi>Chloe</hi> burn;</l>
                     <l>Conſider I have <hi>Sp—n—r</hi> ſeen,</l>
                     <l>And quickly lay aſide your Spleen;</l>
                     <l>Or, by the God of Verſe, I vow,</l>
                     <l>With Antlers I'll adorn your Brow;</l>
                     <l>No City Knight ſhall boaſt a Pair</l>
                     <l>More large, more branching, or more fair:</l>
                     <l>
                        <pb n="32" facs="tcp:0095100802:39"/>Their Horns are gilt, but yours ſhall
be</l>
                     <l>As naked as a blaſted Tree.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>So, Sir, no more of your Deception,</l>
                     <l>For I am bleſt with quick Perception;</l>
                     <l>
                        <hi>Phoebus</hi> has given me piercing Eyes,</l>
                     <l>To look thro' Falſhood and Diſguiſe;</l>
                     <l>Then lay aſide this little Art,</l>
                     <l>I have, and I will keep your Heart.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

His Grace was very well pleaſed with my Gaity, and undertook to
deliver the Letter himſelf; ſo we parted, each of us, I believe,
ſatisfied with ourſelves, and our own Conduct.

I know at leaſt I was; for upon calling my Heart to account for
the Trouble it had given me, I found by the Symptoms, there was ſomething
very like Love had ſeized it.

The Colonel came in the Morning, and brought with him Mr.
<hi>Tr—v—r,</hi> Brother to the D—ſs of
<hi>M—lb—gh,</hi> whom he introduced to me, and then merrily
aſked me, if I was going to re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ward his conſtant tender Flame, with a
<pb n="33" facs="tcp:0095100802:40"/> great ſtaring Pair of Horns? I told him he deſerved
them for his ill Temper; but, however, as he made me full amends by the Honour
of making me known to ſo great and good a Man as he had recom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mended me to, I
would take ſome Time to conſider of the Matter.

Mr. <hi>Tr—v—r</hi> deſired to know which of the
<hi>Sp—n—r</hi>'s it was, I threatned the Colonel with? I told him,
I wrote any thing by way of Amuſement; but either of them would ſerve my
Turn.

The Colonel called me a merry Madcap; Mr.
<hi>Tr—v—r</hi> aſſured me, he was at my Service, and would
horniſy the Colonel whenever I pleaſed. I told him, I was ob<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liged to him
for his kind Offer, and would certainly apply to him, if I found myſelf in
any Diſtreſs; and in the mean Time, I hoped, as an earneſt of his future
Favour, he would be ſo kind as to ſubſcribe to my Poems, which
accordingly he did.

My Readers may now imagine, I was in a fair Way of growing rich;
but, in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>deed, it was far otherwiſe, as I paid a Gui<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nea a Week for my
Lodging, kept a Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vant, <pb n="34" facs="tcp:0095100802:41"/> was under a Neceſſity of
being always dreſſed, and had beſides ſo many diſtreſſed
Perſons of my own Country, who did me the Honour to take a Dinner with me,
and, in return for my Eaſineſs, ſaid every thing of me which they thought
could injure, or expoſe me; that being naturally liberal, and, till I
heartily ſuffered for my Folly, no very great Oeconomiſt, I rather ran out
than ſaved.

And, as I have thrown ſome Sort of Reflection on the
<hi>Engliſh,</hi> I muſt beg leave to be equally free with my own Country
Folks. Take Notice, I except the Nobility and Gentry of each Kingdom, who, I
real<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ly believe, in Honour, Valour, or Genero<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſity of Spirit, are not be
matched in any Part of the habitable Globe. Yet, partial as I may be to my
native Country, the <hi>Engliſh</hi> and <hi>Iriſh</hi> ſeem to have
different Characteriſtics: The lower Part of the People of <hi>England</hi>
are blunt and honeſt; the lower Part of the People of <hi>Ireland,</hi> civil
and deceitful: Nor did I ever ſuffer in <hi>England,</hi> either in point of
Fortune or <pb n="35" facs="tcp:0095100802:42"/> Reputation, but either by the Thefts, or the
Tongues of the <hi>Iriſh.</hi>

My Landlady came up one Morning very chearful, and told me her
Daughter's Huſband, Dr. <hi>T—rn—ll,</hi> who had not been to
ſee her for two Years, on account of ſome Difference they had, told her he
would, as he was to preach at <hi>St. James</hi>'s Chapel next Day, (being one
of the Chap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lains to his Royal Highneſs the Prince of <hi>Wales</hi>) take up
his Lodging in her Houſe that Night. I congratulated hereupon it; but
obſerving by her Looks that ſhe was under ſome Uneaſineſs, I aſked
her the Cauſe of it; after ſome Heſitation, and a Number of Apologies,
ſhe told me, ſhe had no Accommodation for him, but by giving him her own
Bed, and begged I would, for a Night, give her leave to ſleep with me and my
Maid, to which I readily con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſented; but recollecting what a miſerable Bed
ſhe had, in a dark Cloſet, very unfit for a Gentleman to lie in, I told
her, I would, with great Pleaſure, leave my A<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>partment for the Doctor, which
was, as may be preſumed by the Price, a genteel <pb n="36" facs="tcp:0095100802:43"/> one, and
for a Night take up my Reſi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dence with her. She ſeemed overjoyed at the
Propoſal, and as I had ſome little Trifle to buy, I went out, and did not
return till about Six in the Evening; ſo not meeting any body in the Way
below Stairs, I went up to my own Apartment, where I found the Doctor reading,
and the old Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>woman faſt aſleep.

I begged pardon for my Intruſion, and the old Dame told him how
much he was indebted to my Complaiſance in quitting my Apartment to oblige
him with it. I could have wiſhed, ſhe had been ſilent in this particular;
for as ſhe had not apprized him of it before, he was too polite to ſuffer
it, nor could any Entreaties of mine prevail on him to accept my Offer.

Preſently after, being gone down Stairs, he ſent his
Compliments up, and begged I would lend him a Book to amuſe him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf till
Bed-time, ſo being willing to cul<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tivate the good Opinion he ſeemed to have
conceived of me, I ſent him my own Po<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ems in Manuſcript, which, pardon my
Vanity, did not fail to confirm it.

               <pb n="37" facs="tcp:0095100802:44"/>The next Day, which was <hi>Sunday,</hi> as
ſoon as Afternoon Service was over, he very kindly paid me a Viſit, and
ſeemed ſo well pleaſed with my Prattle, that it was Midnight before
either of us thought of Repoſe: But I do aſſure my Readers his
Mother-in-law kept us Company.

He entertained me with an Account of whatever he had met with
curious in his Travels: His Remarks on every Subject were delivered with
Modeſty and Judgment, in a flowing and elegant Style. He was ſo kind to
promiſe me the Favour of taking a Diſh of Coffee with me in the Morning,
which produced a merry Adventure.

The Noblemen at <hi>White</hi>'s, having heard that I was married
to a Clergyman, and ſeeing one walking to and fro in my Din<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing-room,
ſuppoſed it muſt be the very identical Parſon, and that he was come to
make up Matters with me; ſo none of them would venture over, leſt it
ſhould incur his Diſpleaſure againſt me; but Colonel
<hi>D—nc—be,</hi> whoſe Curioſity was up, re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſolved at a
Diſtance to reconnoitre the <pb n="38" facs="tcp:0095100802:45"/> Ground, and bring them a
faithful Account of the Enemy's Situation, for ſo he ſtiled the
Parſon.

There was a very grand Milliner's Shop next Door to my Lodging,
from whence I received a Meſſage, that a Lady, juſt come from
<hi>Ireland,</hi> deſired to ſpeak with me; upon which I immediately went,
full of Hope to receive ſome Account of my Children: I there found the
Colonel, who told me, he was the Lady; and, with his uſual Gaity, added, that
if I queſtioned his Sex, I need but permit him to be my Bedfellow for a Week,
and I ſhould never know any thing to the contrary.

I anſwered, I really believed him; in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>aſmuch as I had known a
Gentleman, young enough to be his Grandſon, who had lived with me in all the
peacable Innocence of a Man of Threeſcore, like a civil careleſs Huſband,
as he was.

As the Colonel was acquainted with my Hiſtory, he laughed
heartily, and ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"He muſt be ſome damned Parſon, for nobody
(ſaid he) but one belonging to <pb n="39" facs="tcp:0095100802:46"/> the Church could have had
half that Continency. But, my dear little one, (for that was the Name he always
called me), I have ſome News to tell you; I deſire you may bruſh up your
Counte<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nance, your Fire, and yourſelf, becauſe you are likely to have
ſome very grand Viſitors to-morrow; no leſs than Mr.
<hi>St—h—e,</hi> the Earl of <hi>W—nch—ea,</hi> and his
Brother Mr. <hi>F—ch.</hi>"</q>

The Colonel then told me the Reaſon of his ſending for me in
that manner was, that he had obſerved a Paſon walking in my Room; and
aſked, who it was? I told him, it was Dr. <hi>T—bull,</hi> no way
re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lated to me.

As this Adventure with the Clergyman afforded great Matter of
Diverſion at <hi>White</hi>'s, I cannot help here relating ano<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther. I was in
very great Diſtreſs, and was adviſed to apply to the then Lord
Archbiſhop of <hi>York,</hi> now, by the Grace of God, Lord Archbiſhop of
<hi>Canterbury</hi>; I ſay, by the Grace of God, becauſe I be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieve he
never was yet excelled by any of the primitive Biſhops; a Perſon, in whom
<pb n="40" facs="tcp:0095100802:47"/> the Beauty of Holineſs fully appears. I went to his
Houſe, in <hi>Kenſington-ſquare,</hi> and, to my infinite Surprize, had
free Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceſs to his Grace, without even a Queſtion being aſked: I
preſented him with the fol<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lowing Lines.

This Poem was written juſt at the Begin<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ning of the Rebellion,
in which his Grace, like a true Son of the Church militant, had nobly taken up
Arms in the Defence of Liberty, Property, and the Proteſtant Reli<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gion.

Having been obliged to the Right Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nourable <hi>Henry
Pelham,</hi> I thought it not improper to include two ſuch great and eminent
Perſons in one Poem, which was as follows:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To his Grace the Lord Archbiſhop of
<hi>YORK.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>AS God, who now does, as in Times of old,</l>
                        <l>His high Beheſts to righteous Men unfold;</l>
                        <l>And from thick Miſts, purging the viſual Ray,</l>
                        <l>Beams on his choſen Sons celeſtial Day;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="41" facs="tcp:0095100802:48"/>Late to the pious Prelate, YORK,
re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>veal'd,</l>
                        <l>What from the Sons of <hi>Belial</hi> lay con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceal'd;</l>
                        <l>The Many, flown with Inſolence and Wine,</l>
                        <l>Unfit, ſuch Ears, to hear of Things Di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vine.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Behold, oh choſen Meſſenger of Grace!</l>
                        <l>Said God, the Wickedneſs of human Race!</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>Britain,</hi> behold, my once-lov'd fav'rite
Iſle,</l>
                        <l>Lo, all Impurities her Face defile!</l>
                        <l>Why are there Pray'rs, or public Faſts proclaim'd?</l>
                        <l>My Pow'r is mock'd at, and my Word blaſphem'd;</l>
                        <l>Think they, vile Worms! with Arts, or gloſſing
Lines,</l>
                        <l>To 'ſcape my Vengeance, or deceive my Eyes?</l>
                        <l>No; as to Idol Luſts their Bodies bow,</l>
                        <l>So ſhall their Limbs the foreign Fields be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtrew,</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="42" facs="tcp:0095100802:49"/>Nay, ev'n the proud Metropolis,
ſhall feel</l>
                        <l>The red-hot Vengeance, and the mur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>d'rous Steel.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Then, holy YORK, the Lord of Life beſpoke:</l>
                        <l>Oh, gracious God! this dread Decree re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>voke;</l>
                        <l>Wilt Thou, with Wiſdom, Juſtice, Mercy crown'd,</l>
                        <l>Alike the Virtuous and the Vile con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>found?</l>
                        <l>Twenty, perhaps, in <hi>Britain</hi> may'ſt Thou
find,</l>
                        <l>Who keep thy Laws, and write them on their Mind;</l>
                        <l>All, ſure, ſhall periſh, by thy mighty Word,</l>
                        <l>But wilt Thou ſpeak in Wrath?—far be it from Thee,
Lord.</l>
                        <l>To him, JEHOVAH: By Myſelf, I ſwear,</l>
                        <l>For Twenty's Sake, the Kingdom will I ſpare.</l>
                        <l>Oh, be not angry, while I plead again,</l>
                        <l>Perhaps not Twenty may be found, but Ten;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="43" facs="tcp:0095100802:50"/>Ten Men, whom no Temptation can
ſub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>due,</l>
                        <l>True to Religion, to it's Altars true.</l>
                        <l>To him, JEHOVAH: As thy Soul doth live,</l>
                        <l>Find me but One, and <hi>England</hi> I forgive.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>View then, oh Lord! yon Miniſter of State,</l>
                        <l>See him, in ev'ry Action Good and Great;</l>
                        <l>Stemming Corruption with an out<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtretch'd Hand;</l>
                        <l>Who, but Himſelf, the Torrent can withſtand?</l>
                        <l>See Him, like <hi>Nile,</hi> diffuſing Bounty round,</l>
                        <l>To bleſs a barren, an ungrateful Ground;</l>
                        <l>Thro' various Channels, Pleaſure to impart,</l>
                        <l>To raiſe the Fall'n, to chear the dying Heart;</l>
                        <l>Too oft, alas! in the tranſlucent Wave</l>
                        <l>Do Crocodiles and wily Serpents lave,</l>
                        <l>Studious to poiſon the delightful Stream,</l>
                        <l>Which unpollute flows on;—and mindful whence it
came,</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="44" facs="tcp:0095100802:51"/>Conſcious of Thee, it's ſacred
hidden Source,</l>
                        <l>To re-unite thy Bounty, bends it's Force.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Wiſely thou ſpeak'ſt, the living Lord reply'd,</l>
                        <l>Nor be thou, righteous Advocate, de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ny'd;</l>
                        <l>Superior Worth arreſts the lifted Rod,</l>
                        <l>So dear is Virtue in the Sight of God;</l>
                        <l>Nor will I Vengeance on the Guilty take,</l>
                        <l>But <hi>England</hi> ſpare, for YORK and PELHAM's
Sake.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

I told the Servant, when I delivered them, it was not a Petition:
He ſaid, if it were, his Grace never refuſed one; and ſhewed me into a
handſome Drawing-Room. In a few Minutes, his Grace en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tered, with a ſweet
and placid Air; but looked ſo young, that I never once ima<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gined him to be
the Archbiſhop, having joined the aſſociate Idea of Wrinkles, Ava<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rice,
and Pride, to that Title,—in which I found myſelf, happily for once,
miſta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ken. As it was early in the Morning, he <pb n="45" facs="tcp:0095100802:52"/> ſaid, he
was ſure I had not breakfaſted, and bid one of the Servants bring ſome
Tea, and deſire his Couſin to come, and keep the Lady Company: As it was
near half an Hour before I ſaw her, his Grace aſked me, who I was? I
anſwered, which was Truth, I was a Gentleman's Daugh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter, of the Kingdom of
<hi>Ireland</hi>; that I had, when I was very young, been married to a
Clergyman; that I had three Children living. His Grace, taking it for granted,
that I was a Widow, which Miſtake it was, by no Means, my Intereſt to clear
up, demanded of me, what I had to ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>port us? I anſwered, Nothing but
Po<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>etry. He ſaid, that was a Pity; becauſe, let it be ever ſo excellent,
Genius was ſel<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dom rewarded, or encouraged; I very gayly repeated the Dean's
Lines:
<q>
                  <l>What Hope of Cuſtom in the Fair,</l>
                  <l>When not a Soul demands the Ware?</l>
                  <l>When you have nothing to produce,</l>
                  <l>For private Life, or public Uſe.</l>
                  <bibl>Swift's Rhapſody.</bibl>
               </q>
               <pb n="46" facs="tcp:0095100802:53"/> His
Grace could not avoid ſmiling, as he plainly perceived by the Chearfulneſs,
and Freedom of my Behaviour, and by my only ſaying, Sir, to him, that I was
igno<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rant of his Dignity. But the Entrance of his Relation, a well-bred Lady,
of about fifty Years of Age, who, as his Grace is a Batchelor, managed his
domeſtic Affairs, threw me into inconceivable Confuſion, as I then plainly
perceived I had been very familiarly chatting with ſo great a Man.

I made my Apology in the beſt Man<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ner I could; and, as he was
truly ſenſible that I neither intended or meant Diſre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpect to him, he
eaſily pardoned me: But, as we drank Tea, ſaid, he wiſhed my Miſtake
had but continued a little longer, that he might have had the Pleaſure of
hearing me unawed and uncontrolled. I own I was quite abaſhed at ſo odd a
Cir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cumſtance, for while I imagined his Grace to be perhaps a Chaplain to the
Lord Archbiſhop of <hi>York,</hi> I ſaid any thing without Reſerve; but,
of a ſudden, found my Spirits fail, which brought <hi>Shakeſpear</hi>'s
Lines into my Mind:
<q>
                  <pb n="47" facs="tcp:0095100802:54"/>
                  <l>And what have Kings, that Privates have not too,</l>
                  <l>Save Ceremony, general Ceremony?</l>
                  <l>And what are thou, thou Idol Ceremony?</l>
                  <l>What kind of God art thou, that ſuffereſt more</l>
                  <l>Of mortal Griefs, than do thy Worſhip<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pers;</l>
                  <l>What are thy Rents? What are thy Comings in?</l>
                  <l>Oh Ceremony! ſhew me but thy Worth:</l>
                  <l>What is thy Soul of Adoration?</l>
                  <l>Art thou aught elſe, but Place, Degree, and Form;</l>
                  <l>Creating Fear and Awe in other Men?</l>
                  <l>Wherein thou art leſs happy, being fear'd,</l>
                  <l>Than they in fearing thee.</l>
               </q> His Grace was ſo humane,
to make me a handſome Preſent at my Departure, and aſſured me, he would
always be a Friend to me.

However, I did not make a ſecond Ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>plication to him, 'till
ſuch Time as the Royal Bounty is to be petitioned for, <pb n="48" facs="tcp:0095100802:55"/>
is at <hi>Chriſtmas,</hi> though it is not diſtributed 'till
<hi>Eaſter.</hi> As I knew, at that Seaſon of the Year, it was
impoſſible for me to be at <hi>Kenſington,</hi> e'er his Grace would be
at <hi>Weſtminſter,</hi> I waited at the Door of the Robing-Room, 'till I
was almoſt frozen, holding a Petition, incloſed in a Letter, in my Hand; a
Gentleman, who is Door-keeper to the Houſe of Lords, taking Compaſſion on
me, told me, I had better come into the Lobby, an Offer I readily accepted of,
and ſat down in a Window: There were ſeveral Noblemen, moſt of whom knew
me by Sight, walking in it, as the Houſe was not yet met. The firſt Prelate
who entered, was the Lord Biſhop of <hi>Norwich,</hi> a venerable Gentleman,
whoſe graceful grey Hairs the Hand of Time had ſilvered: As he paſt by, I
made him a Courteſy, on which he ſtopt, and, with great Civility, aſked
me if that Letter was for him; I anſwered, it was for his Grace of
<hi>York</hi>; on which, he very kindly wiſhed me Succeſs. His Grace next
entered, and with his wonted Goodneſs aſked me, where I had been? Adding,
that it had <pb n="49" facs="tcp:0095100802:56"/> been a great Loſs to me, that he did not
know where to find me; and accepting of my Letter, ſaid, he hoped I had there
given him a proper Direction; ſo bowing, as faſt as I courteſied, he went
to take his Seat at the Right Hand of that Power he had ſo nobly ſupported;
and, no doubt, will, at the laſt great Day, having truly approved himſelf
<hi>Chriſt</hi>'s faithful Soldier and Champion, fighting under the ſacred
Banners of the Captain of his Salvation, hear thoſe comfortable Words,
<hi>Well done, thou good and faithful Servant, enter thou into the Joy of thy
Lord.</hi>

As the Earl of <hi>Ch—ſter—ld</hi> heard every Word
his Grace ſpoke to me, he made himſelf very merry at <hi>White</hi>'s,
telling Mr. <hi>Cibber,</hi> and Colonel <hi>D—nc—be,</hi> that I
was true to the Gown, and delivered a Billet-doux to the handſomeſt,
politeſt, and braveſt Prelate in <hi>Europe</hi>; that I had given him a
Direction where to find me, and highly applauded my Choice.

But no Virtue is above the Reach of a little pleaſant Raillery;
and as ſome of the Noblemen demanded an Explanation <pb n="50" facs="tcp:0095100802:57"/> of
this Affair, I with my uſual Sincerity, told them the Truth; on which they
all agreed in praiſing his Beneficence and Af<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fability, and the handſome
Manner in which he beſtowed his Bounties.

I hope, if theſe <hi>Memoirs</hi> ſhould ever fall into his
Grace's Hands, who is an uni<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verſal Reader, he will pardon me for uſing his
Name, which I ſhall never do, but with the utmoſt Reſpect and
Gratitude.

As I had imagined his Grace to be Lord High Almoner, I
addreſſed him as ſuch, and waited on him again at
<hi>Weſt<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>minſter</hi>; his Grace told me, the B—p of
<hi>S—y</hi> had been ſo kind to accept of my Petition, and that I
muſt wait on him the next Morning, at his Houſe in the <hi>Temple:</hi> So
accordingly, I went, in full Spirits, imagining, on the Recommenda<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion of ſo
excellent a Perſon, I ſhould both have a civil Reception, and alſo my
Deſire anſwered.

It ſnowed very faſt, and I knocked ſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>veral Times, e'er I
could gain Admiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion; at length, an old Porter ventured to turn the
unoiled Hinges a little, which <pb n="51" facs="tcp:0095100802:58"/> grated very harſhly, and
ſeemed to par<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>take of the Spirit of their unhoſpitable Maſter, who,
according to my Country<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man's Bull, opened the Door to keep the People out, for
this was fully verified here; he aſked me, what I knocked ſo often for? and
being, I ſuppoſe, doubtful that I might ſteal one of the Oak Chairs in
the Hall, ſhut it again in my Face; the Inclemency of the Air, and the
Vexa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion of my Mind, made me give a thun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dering Rap, the Door was once more
opened, and I aſſured the Porter, if he would be ſo kind as to deliver
that Letter for me to his Lord, to whom I was re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>commended by his Grace of
<hi>York,</hi> I would give him Half a Crown, which Promiſe of a Perquiſite
ſoftened him into Conſent, for, as Mr. <hi>Gay</hi> obſerves,
<q>
                  <l>This Reaſon with all is prevailing.</l>
               </q>

He took the Letter into the Parlour, when preſently an old Man,
with a moſt unprelatical Countenance, for it was full of Carbunckles, and
Knobs, and Flames of <pb n="52" facs="tcp:0095100802:59"/> Fire, came out, with my Letter in his
Hand, and, with an imperious Voice, de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>manded of me, whether I wrote it? As the
Times were full of Violence and Blood, it being, as I obſerved, at the
Beginning of the late Rebellion, I ſtood confounded, and knew not what
Anſwer to make; which he obſerving, aſked me, was my Name <hi>Meade?</hi>
To which, an<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſwering in the affirmative, he cried,
<q rend="inline">"Yow are a Foreigner, and we have Beggars enow of
our own:"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"No, my Lord, returned I, I was born in
<hi>Ireland,</hi> which is not a foreign Country, but equally a Part of his
Majeſty's Dominions with <hi>Great-Britain:</hi>"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Why, ſaid he very politely, you lye; but as you
ſay yow are in Diſtreſs, there's Half a Crown for yow:"</q> I thanked his
Lordſhip, and turning to the Porter told him, as I had given him ſome
Trouble, I hoped he would accept of that Part of the Royal Bounty, which had
been promiſed to me; his Lordſhip was pleaſed to tell me, I was a
ſaucy, proud, impertinent Perſon; which, <pb n="53" facs="tcp:0095100802:60"/> having
neither any farther Hopes or Fears about him, I little regarded.

All the Way Home, as cold as it was, and as much vexed as I was at
the old Br—te's Behaviour, I could not avoid laughing at his odd Figure,
ſo much re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſembling that of the <hi>Spaniſh</hi> Friar, where
<q>His great Belly ſwaggered in State before him, and his little
gouty Legs came limping after; oh, he is a huge Tun of Divinity! and were he
any way given to Holineſs, I would ſwear by his Face; my Oath ſhould be,
By this Fire; but he is indeed, but for the Fire in his Face, the Son of utter
Dark<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neſs; oh! he is a perpetual Triumph, an everlaſting Bonſire!</q>

Then again I thought of Dr. <hi>Swift</hi>'s Lines:
<q>
                  <l>G—d d—n me, they bid us reform and repent;</l>
                  <l>But, Z—ds, by their Looks, they never keep
<hi>Lent.</hi>
                  </l>
               </q>

               <pb n="54" facs="tcp:0095100802:61"/>I hope the Reader will pardon me, for
inſerting Oaths, as I have ſo great an Au<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thority to quote for them.

As the Parliament did not ſit during the Holydays, I waited on
his Grace of <hi>York,</hi> who immediately gave me Audience: He aſked me,
what Succeſs I had with the Lord Almoner; and as I had ſped mar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vellous
ill-favouredly, I related every Cir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cumſtance, as near as I could remember of
our Converſation; One, in particu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lar, which I before omitted, and was, that
he ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Would the Lord Arch<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>biſhop of <hi>York</hi>
ſpeak to yow, Woman?"</q> His Grace ſmiled, and ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"It was the firſt Time he ever learned it was
beneath the Dignity of a Biſhop to ſpeak, even to a Beggar; as Humliity was
their beſt Orna<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment:—Well, What more?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Not much, my Lord, only he demanded, If I knew no
other Perſon, beſides your Grace, to recommend me to him? And as I really
was convinced, I had brought him my Credentials from the higheſt, I did not
uſe any other Name:"</q>
               <pb n="55" facs="tcp:0095100802:62"/> By this Time the Lady
before-mentioned came to Breakfaſt, and I was obliged to relate the Story to
her; they both laughed,—and his Grace aſſured me, the B—p of
<hi>S—y</hi> was a very honeſt Man;—I told him,
<q rend="inline">"I did not ſuſpect him to be a Pick-pocket;
but that I looked on that to be but a very moderate Praiſe, where every other
ſocial and Chriſtian Virtue was required:"</q> He ſaid, I made nice
Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tinctions; but he himſelf would take Care of the Affair, and ſo he
put a couple of Guineas into my Hand, on which, I ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"God Almighty bleſs your Grace;"</q> which again
made him ſmile, and myſelf alſo, on Reflection, that, inſtead of
im<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ploring his Bleſſing, I had given him mine. I returned to
<hi>London,</hi> as I ought alſo from this long Digreſſion, to relate
what paſſed between me, and the Noble<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>men, whom Colonel
<hi>D—nc—be</hi> ſaid would come and viſit me.

When I expected three, but one came, a very old gouty Gentleman,
whoſe Name I do not think proper to inſert; the reſt <pb n="56" facs="tcp:0095100802:63"/>
had intended me the ſame Favour; but he inſiſted, it ſeems, on coming
alone, which, after a little Raillery, they per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mitted him to do; but
proteſted, that if he ſtayed long, they would follow him;—though our
Converſation was entirely about indifferent Matters, during an Hour he
ſtayed with me, yet he and I were as heartily b<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1+ letters">
                  <desc>•…</desc>
               </gap>tered, and I had as many Ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>minations about his
Behaviour to me, as if he had been a young, gay, gallant Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tleman; the
Reaſon of which was, that he uſed to reprove others for their
In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>temperance, or Indecency: So they took it into their Heads he was a ſly
Sinner, and would have bribed me highly to tell a Lye of him; I aſſured
them, provided they would but give me leave to inform him of it, I would ſay
what they pleaſed; for I was fully of Opinion, that, if a Lye would do me
Grace, he would permit me to gild it with the happieſt Terms I had.

They told my Story to the good old Gentleman, who kindly ſent me
over three Guineas, by the Hand of my honoured Benefactor Mr.
<hi>Cibber.</hi>

               <pb n="57" facs="tcp:0095100802:64"/>I was at this Time applied to, by Mr.
<hi>V—ct—r,</hi> to write an Ode on the Princeſs of
<hi>Wales</hi>'s Birth Day, which, as he kept a Tea-Warehouſe in
<hi>Pall-Mall,</hi> near her Court, would, he ſaid, at leaſt, gain him her
Royal Highneſs's Cuſtom; ſo to ob<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lige him, as I had really done when he
was in very low Circumſtances in <hi>Ireland,</hi> ſome Years before, I
wrote as follows:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     An <hi>ODE</hi> on the Birth-Day of her Royal Highneſs
the Princeſs of <hi>WALES.</hi> In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tended for Muſic.
                     <lg>
                        <l>LIGHT of the World, with pureſt Beams adorn</l>
                        <l>The Front of Heav'n, and gild the ſacred Morn!</l>
                        <l>Come from thy Chamber, in the Eaſt,</l>
                        <l>In richeſt Gold, and Purple, dreſt,</l>
                        <l>Bright, as the Royal Fair, who on this Day was born.</l>
                        <l>Say, in all thy glorious Round,</l>
                        <l>Haſt thou ſo much Beauty found?</l>
                        <l>Tho' Nature ſpreads, for Thee, her Charms,</l>
                        <l>Her faireſt Store of finiſh'd Forms,</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="58" facs="tcp:0095100802:65"/>The radiant Gem, the flow'ry Race,</l>
                        <l>Haſt thou beheld ſuch perfect Grace,</l>
                        <l>As Great <hi>Auguſta</hi>'s Looks diſplay?</l>
                        <l>Blooming as roſy Spring, and fair as early Day.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        AIR.
                        <l>Glad Zephyrs on your downy Pinions bear</l>
                        <l>The joyful Tidings thro' the balmy Air,</l>
                        <l>That Heav'n, indulgent to <hi>Britannia</hi>'s Iſle,</l>
                        <l>Created for her lov'd, her God-like Heir</l>
                        <l>This matchleſs Virgin, this illuſtrious Fair,</l>
                        <l>In whom the Virtues, and the Graces ſmile.</l>
                        <l>What Joy, oh Royal Youth! was thine?</l>
                        <l>When You beheld the Nymph Divine!</l>
                        <l>Like <hi>Venus,</hi> riſing from the Sea,</l>
                        <l>While round officious <hi>Cupids</hi> play;</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>Neptune</hi> confeſs'd, his Breaſt before</l>
                        <l>So rich a Treaſure never bore;</l>
                        <l>He huſh'd the noiſy Winds to ſleep,</l>
                        <l>And ſmooth'd the Surface of the Deep.</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="59" facs="tcp:0095100802:66"/>
                           <hi>Hymen,</hi> quick, thy Taper
light,</l>
                        <l>Join, whom Love before had join'd,</l>
                        <l>And in bliſsful Bonds unite</l>
                        <l>Heart to Heart, and Mind to Mind,</l>
                        <l>The nobleſt Pair, that, ever yet,</l>
                        <l>In ſweet connubial Tranſports met!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        AIR.
                        <l>As when the Sun awakes the Year,</l>
                        <l>And bids the Blooms their Sweets diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cloſe,</l>
                        <l>In vernal Luſtre, rob'd appear</l>
                        <l>The Lilly, and the new-blown Roſe;</l>
                        <l>So, from this pure, this hallow'd Flame,</l>
                        <l>Behold the num'rous Offspring riſe,</l>
                        <l>Of future Bards the bliſsful Theme,</l>
                        <l>And Rapture of a Nation's Eyes.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Let Hymns of Praiſe to Heav'n aſcend,</l>
                        <l>For this propitious Store,</l>
                        <l>Oh, ſtill the Royal Race defend!</l>
                        <l>And <hi>Britain</hi> aſks no more.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

What Succeſs this met, I know not; but Mr.
<hi>V—ct—r</hi> ſoon after applied to me for a
<hi>Lilliputian</hi> Ode, on the Birth<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>day <pb n="60" facs="tcp:0095100802:67"/> of his Royal
Highneſs Prince GEORGE, which I gave him as follows:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     <l>NATURE wake,</l>
                     <l>Muſes ſpeak,</l>
                     <l>Clothe the Spring,</l>
                     <l>Touch the String,</l>
                     <l>
                        <hi>Cupids</hi> ſport,</l>
                     <l>Round the Court,</l>
                     <l>Like the Prince,</l>
                     <l>Charms diſpenſe,</l>
                     <l>Whoſe early Ray,</l>
                     <l>Gives <hi>Britain</hi> Promiſe of reſplendent Day.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>The flow'ry Prime,</l>
                     <l>Delights a Time,</l>
                     <l>The hopeful Bloom,</l>
                     <l>Sheds rich Perfume,</l>
                     <l>Then Fruits appear,</l>
                     <l>To crown the Year;</l>
                     <l>So, lovely Boy,</l>
                     <l>Thy Spring employ,</l>
                     <l>That thy ſweet Youth</l>
                     <l>Be crown'd with Fruits of Wiſdom, Virtue, Truth.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <pb n="61" facs="tcp:0095100802:68"/>
                     <l>Ye, to whoſe Care,</l>
                     <l>
                        <hi>Britannia</hi>'s Heir</l>
                     <l>Is now conſign'd,</l>
                     <l>To form his Mind;</l>
                     <l>O to your Truſt,</l>
                     <l>Be firmly juſt;</l>
                     <l>Let Flatt'ry ne'er</l>
                     <l>Infect his Ear,</l>
                     <l>So ſhall he be</l>
                     <l>Worthy to rule a People, Brave and Free.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>Oft let him trace</l>
                     <l>His God-like Race!</l>
                     <l>Their noble Story,</l>
                     <l>Inſpiring Glory!</l>
                     <l>His Parents Eyes,</l>
                     <l>With glad Surprize,</l>
                     <l>Shall view a Son,</l>
                     <l>Worthy their Throne,</l>
                     <l>And <hi>Albion</hi> bleſs</l>
                     <l>The Royal Progeny's deſir'd Increaſe.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

I know not what Reward the Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man got for theſe, but he gave
me five Shillings; and as ſince my Return to <hi>Ire<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>land,</hi> he was twice
ſo civil to write me <pb n="62" facs="tcp:0095100802:69"/> Word, I was a Fool; I muſt
inſiſt on it, he was a much greater, to apply to a Fool for Wit.

And, if he diſputes theſe Facts, let him but finiſh the
Comedy of <hi>Le Païſan Parvenu</hi> in the ſame Stile I wrote the
firſt Act for him, and I will own myſelf to be the Dunce, he ſo freely
calls me.

I muſt here obſerve, that the following Poem, written when I
firſt went to <hi>Lon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>don,</hi> which he undertook to have printed for me, he
very modeſtly aſſured every Perſon was of his own Compoſition.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     A View of the preſent State of <hi>MEN</hi> and
<hi>THINGS.</hi> A Satyric Dialogue between the <hi>Poet</hi> and his
<hi>Friend.</hi>

                     In the Year 1739.
                     <lg>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> WRITING a Satire? <hi>P.</hi> If I ſhould,
what then?</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> 'Tis the moſt dang'rous Province of the
Pen;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="63" facs="tcp:0095100802:70"/>Example more Diſcretion ought to
teach,</l>
                        <l>Examples move beyond what Prelates preach:</l>
                        <l>Be warn'd, my Friend,—write Satire!—pray
deſiſt,</l>
                        <l>You ſee what Fate attends the
<note n="*" place="bottom">Mr.
<hi>Whitehead.</hi>
                           </note>Satiriſt.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> If honeſt Satire, theſe licentious
Times,</l>
                        <l>Is look'd on as the worſt of human Crimes,</l>
                        <l>If all are Libellers, who dare proclaim</l>
                        <l>The Fraud of Courts, or brand a guilty Name:</l>
                        <l>The Muſe, ſworn Friend to Truth, with Fear
eſſays</l>
                        <l>To ſcourge the Baſe, or give the Virtuous
Praiſe;</l>
                        <l>Tho' theſe the wholeſome Means, by Heav'n
aſſign'd</l>
                        <l>To awe the Vile, or raiſe the worthy Mind.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Yes Panegyric may be ſafely writ.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> It may, if Bards will proſtitute their
Wit,</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="64" facs="tcp:0095100802:71"/>To varniſh Faults, or gild a Knave's
Deceit,</l>
                        <l>Or prove a Title makes a Villain great;</l>
                        <l>But Virtue plac'd, in its Meridian Light,</l>
                        <l>Hurts the weak Eye, and pains the Courtier's Sight;</l>
                        <l>Thus ſhou'd the Muſe a Patriot's Worth proclaim,</l>
                        <l>And crown her <hi>Stanhope</hi> with undying Fame,</l>
                        <l>They take Offence, and think you thus deſcant,</l>
                        <l>To ſhew Mankind the Qualities they want.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Truſt me, their Raſhneſs merits no
Excuſe,</l>
                        <l>That fall from Satire into groſs Abuſe;</l>
                        <l>Vice may be ſham'd by proper Ridicule,</l>
                        <l>But where's the Wit of calling Dunce and Fool?</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> Was it not Truth? <hi>F.</hi> Admit it e'er
ſo true,</l>
                        <l>Compaſſion was to human Weakneſs due;</l>
                        <l>When Crimes are wanting Anger to pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>voke,</l>
                        <l>An Aim at Greatneſs ſeems an envious Stroke;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="65" facs="tcp:0095100802:72"/>Some, like <hi>Drawcanſir,</hi> fall
on Friend, and Foe,</l>
                        <l>And no Diſtinction in their Fury know.</l>
                        <l>With decent Care, Scurrility avoid;</l>
                        <l>Secure in Praiſe, your Pen may be em<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ploy'd,</l>
                        <l>And ev'ry gen'rous Pleaſure full enjoy'd.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> Well; if Encomiums Approbation gain,</l>
                        <l>For once, I'll try the Panegyric Strain.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Bleſt be the Man, whoſe independent Mind,</l>
                        <l>No Ties but thoſe of ſacred Honour bind;</l>
                        <l>Whoſe ample Fortune ev'ry Good ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>plies,</l>
                        <l>Sought by the Juſt, the temperately Wiſe;</l>
                        <l>Oeconomy his Freedom's beſt Support,</l>
                        <l>Sets him above Temptation from a Court;</l>
                        <l>No Bribe he takes, that Freedom to con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>troul,</l>
                        <l>No Penſion, to enſlave his nobler Soul;</l>
                        <l>He ſcorns to fill a Stateſman's ſervile Train,</l>
                        <l>And looks on high-plac'd Guilt with juſt Diſdain;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="66" facs="tcp:0095100802:73"/>For Him, the Muſe ſhall ſtrike
the ſound<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing String,</l>
                        <l>And Fame, her ever-verdant Laurels bring.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Unlike <hi>Favonius,</hi> who, with ev'ry Vice,</l>
                        <l>Ruin'd a princely Fortune in a trice;</l>
                        <l>His Indigence ſoon taught him to repair</l>
                        <l>To Court,—for Bankrupt Peers find Shelter there:</l>
                        <l>He bows to <hi>W—e,</hi> whiſpers to his
Grace,</l>
                        <l>Then humbly begs a Penſion, or a Place;</l>
                        <l>The Penſion's your's, my Lord,—but mind—this
Note,</l>
                        <l>'Tis but a ſhort Direction, how to vote.</l>
                        <l>Hard Terms! but Luxury muſt be ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ply'd,</l>
                        <l>He fells his Virtue to ſupport his Pride!</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Softly, my Friend,—you quit the Taſk
aſſign'd,</l>
                        <l>Which, to the Praiſe of Merit, was con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fin'd:</l>
                        <l>Bold Truths, like theſe, a Puniſhment may bring,</l>
                        <l>Incenſe a M—r, perhaps a —</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="67" facs="tcp:0095100802:74"/>
                           <hi>P.</hi> As, in a Picture, Light is
to be ſhewn</l>
                        <l>But by the Force, and Strength of Shade alone;</l>
                        <l>So Virtue's radiant Luſtre ſhines moſt clear,</l>
                        <l>When Vice, by Contraſt, makes her Charms appear.</l>
                        <l>Who ſees a <hi>Burleigh,</hi> in <hi>Eliza</hi>'s
Reign,</l>
                        <l>With <hi>Britain</hi>'s Thunder, ſhake the Realms of
<hi>Spain,</hi>
                        </l>
                        <l>And, truly zealous in his Country's Cauſe,</l>
                        <l>Protect her Trade, her Liberty, her Laws;</l>
                        <l>Who, but muſt kindle into honeſt Rage!</l>
                        <l>And curſe the —<hi>F.</hi> Hold,—this
partial Wrath aſſuage;</l>
                        <l>Do you conſider, what a Riſque you run,</l>
                        <l>Or, are you reſolute to be undone?</l>
                        <l>At Courts you rail, at Courts you take Offence,</l>
                        <l>Unmindful of the Good deriv'd from thence.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> 'Tis true, from thence proceeds the Royal
Youth,</l>
                        <l>The God-like Friend of Liberty, and Truth;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="68" facs="tcp:0095100802:75"/>The pureſt Bounty of indulgent
Heav'n,</l>
                        <l>In FREDERICK'S Virtues is to <hi>Albion</hi> giver;</l>
                        <l>Muſe! at that Name, exalt thy tuneful Voice,</l>
                        <l>And glory in thy elevated Choice.</l>
                        <l>Patron of Learning! Cheriſher of Arts!</l>
                        <l>Fix'd is thy Empire in our grateful Hearts;</l>
                        <l>Already we the bliſsful Scene ſurvey,</l>
                        <l>While Hope, prophetic, paints thy future Sway;</l>
                        <l>Honour, the Guardian of thy Throne ſhall ſtand,</l>
                        <l>And Plenty pour her Treaſures thro' the Land;</l>
                        <l>Free, on the Wings of Winds, our Ships ſhall roam,</l>
                        <l>And ſafely bring their far-ſought Riches Home;</l>
                        <l>Wide o'er the World, <hi>Britannia</hi>'s Fame ſhall
ſpread,</l>
                        <l>And pale <hi>Iberia</hi> ſink with guilty Dread.</l>
                        <l>Who now—<hi>F.</hi> Nay pauſe,—Check your
advent'rous Strain,</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> Then gueſs the reſt. <hi>F.</hi> I do,
alas! too plain.</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="69" facs="tcp:0095100802:76"/>
                           <hi>P. Jugurtha,</hi> for
his Crimes, arraign'd at <hi>Rome,</hi>
                        </l>
                        <l>The Senate brib'd, and went triumphant Home;</l>
                        <l>Yet, on it's Pride, caſt back a ſcornful Eye,</l>
                        <l>And wiſh'd ſome Merchant wou'd the Nation buy.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Is the Man mad, to ramble wildly thus!</l>
                        <l>What has <hi>Jugurtha,</hi> pray, to do with us?</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> Faith, nothing; but the Story ſtruck my
Mind,</l>
                        <l>Tho' it no Application here can find;</l>
                        <l>For ſhou'd ſeducing Gold ſo far prevail,</l>
                        <l>To ſet a Nation's Liberty to Sale;</l>
                        <l>No trading Purchaſer can <hi>Britain</hi> fear,</l>
                        <l>Our Merchants Poverty ſecures us here.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Why will you bring ſuch Scenes to public
View?</l>
                        <l>Come, come, your Scheme of praiſing Worth purſue.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> No Power of Verſe can Virtue's Merit
raiſe;</l>
                        <l>Who can add Luſtre to it's Noon-tide Blaze;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="70" facs="tcp:0095100802:77"/>See it, from STAIR, break forth with
Rays Divine,</l>
                        <l>And round the learned Head of STAN<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>HOPE ſhine;</l>
                        <l>From COBHAM'S Mind, we hail it's beau<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>teous Beams,</l>
                        <l>And CARTERET kindles with it's hal<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>low'd Flames;</l>
                        <l>While W—E turns, aſtoniſh'd, from the Sight,</l>
                        <l>And ſickens at the pure aethereal Light;</l>
                        <l>Or, vainly hopes it's Abſence to ſupply,</l>
                        <l>By glitt'ring Star, and String of azure Dye;</l>
                        <l>Thoſe Ornaments, which grace the Good and Brave,</l>
                        <l>To ſharper Ridicule—expoſe the Slave:</l>
                        <l>Stateſmen, like Meteors, vulgar earth<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>born Things,</l>
                        <l>Rais'd by the ſtrong attracting Force of Kings;</l>
                        <l>Splendid they ſhine, in Fortune's Summer-Sky,</l>
                        <l>Till, falling, all their ſhort-liv'd Glories die;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="71" facs="tcp:0095100802:78"/>But Worth, like the refulgent Orb of
Day,</l>
                        <l>Shall unexhauſted Excellence diſplay.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Relapſing ſtill! <hi>P.</hi> When I
conceal the Name,</l>
                        <l>I, ſure, a vicious Character may blame.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> No; Malice may that Character apply.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> Then Malice makes the Libel, Friend, not
I;</l>
                        <l>But, ſee, to Praiſe I tune the golden Lyre,</l>
                        <l>Strains, worthy PITT, coeleſtial Muſe in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpire!</l>
                        <l>In whom, with Wonder, and Delight, we find,</l>
                        <l>To blooming Youth, experienc'd Wiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dom join'd;</l>
                        <l>What forceful Reaſon! manly Eloquence!</l>
                        <l>Adorn'd Him in his Country's dear De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fence?</l>
                        <l>When, dauntleſs, 'midſt the Murmurs of a Crowd,</l>
                        <l>He own'd the Cauſe of Liberty aloud;</l>
                        <l>Th' intrepid
<note n="*" place="bottom">
                              <hi>Ahdiel.</hi> See
<hi>Milton.</hi>
                           </note>Angel, thus unſhaken, ſtood</l>
                        <l>'Midſt faithleſs Numbers, eminently good.</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="72" facs="tcp:0095100802:79"/>
                           <hi>F.</hi> What! yet again?
<hi>P.</hi> Nay, under this Reſtraint,</l>
                        <l>The Verſe muſt languiſh, and Deſcription
faint.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> Believe me, Friend, my Care is kindly
meant,</l>
                        <l>Prudence, and Caution, num'rous Ills prevent.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> For once, uninterrupted, let me ſpeak,</l>
                        <l>Nor, thus, each Period with your Cau<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tions break:</l>
                        <l>Where did I ſtop? <hi>F.</hi> With <hi>Pitt.</hi>
                           <hi>P.</hi> Then let the Song</l>
                        <l>To LITTLETON, the Muſe's Friend, belong;</l>
                        <l>Born, in each poliſh'd Science to excell,</l>
                        <l>As fam'd for ſpeaking, as for writing well;</l>
                        <l>Diſtinguiſh'd Pair! with pureſt Manners grac'd!</l>
                        <l>High in your Royal Maſter's Favour plac'd;</l>
                        <l>That Bliſs, ſupreme, doth bounteous Fate prepare</l>
                        <l>For gen'rous Minds, that make Mankind their Care.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <pb n="73" facs="tcp:0095100802:80"/>
                        <l>Ye noble Few, who, in a ſhameleſs Age,</l>
                        <l>Dare bring heroic Virtue on the Stage;</l>
                        <l>Behold, where Heav'n-born Fame con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpicuous
ſtands!</l>
                        <l>Unfading Laurels fill her ſacred Hands!</l>
                        <l>Emblems of undecaying, freſh Renown,</l>
                        <l>Prepar'd your ever-honour'd Heads to crown:</l>
                        <l>Theſe Wreaths be your's, from whence true Greatneſs
ſprings;</l>
                        <l>Oh, look on Coronets as meaner Things!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>See, in the hoſtile Field, for this Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ward,</l>
                        <l>Fearleſs <hi>Argyle</hi> each Danger diſregard;</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>Argyle,</hi> by ev'ry worthy Mind ador'd!</l>
                        <l>Whoſe Oratory conquers like his Sword;</l>
                        <l>His Country's drooping Genius born to raiſe,</l>
                        <l>And warm, anew, her cold declining Days;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="74" facs="tcp:0095100802:81"/>With him, ye Patriot Sons! unite your
Force,</l>
                        <l>And ſtem Corruption in it's headlong Courſe;</l>
                        <l>See, wide it ſpreads! and, in it's ſable Wave,</l>
                        <l>What Prelates bathe! what Stars and Garters lave?</l>
                        <l>There may they ſink, ſince <hi>Lethe</hi>-like, it's
Stream</l>
                        <l>Hath baniſh'd from their Hearts the Love of Fame;</l>
                        <l>While Wrongs, and Inſults, ſhamefully are borne;</l>
                        <l>Our Fleet's a Jeſt, our Name a Word of Scorn.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>F.</hi> What means this Madneſs, will you ne'er give
o'er?</l>
                        <l>Thoſe Evils you complain of are no more;</l>
                        <l>Prudence, and Mercy, in well-govern'd States,</l>
                        <l>Prevent the Ruin waſteful War creates;</l>
                        <l>Thoſe healing Arts have vainly been ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ply'd,</l>
                        <l>Now diff'rent Counſels in their Turn preſide;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="75" facs="tcp:0095100802:82"/>Array'd in Terror, ſee
<hi>Britannia</hi> riſe,</l>
                        <l>And hurl vindictive Thunder thro' the Skies!</l>
                        <l>Bent to chaſtiſe the Inſolence of
<hi>Spain</hi>;</l>
                        <l>And re-aſſume her Empire o'er the Main:</l>
                        <l>View all things in a clear impartial Light,</l>
                        <l>And Reaſon ſhall confeſs theſe Meaſures
right;</l>
                        <l>Ceaſe then to cenſure, that which merits Praiſe,</l>
                        <l>And, timely, ſtop your keen ſatyric Lays;</l>
                        <l>E'er frowning Pow'r aſſumes the awful Nod,</l>
                        <l>And ſhews the Terror of it's Iron Rod.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>P.</hi> A good Intention is the beſt Defence,</l>
                        <l>True Fortitude proceeds from Innocence;</l>
                        <l>Let <hi>Gallic</hi> Slaves deſpotic Pow'r obey,</l>
                        <l>Juſtice and Liberty in <hi>Albion</hi> ſway:</l>
                        <l>Secure from Danger, may the Muſe in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpire</l>
                        <l>Her free-born Sons with ancient <hi>Roman</hi> Fire;</l>
                        <l>Such, as of old, in <hi>Cato</hi>'s ſhone confeſt,</l>
                        <l>And lives in <hi>Carteret,</hi> and in <hi>Talbot</hi>'s
Breaſt;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="76" facs="tcp:0095100802:83"/>Oh, may the heavenly Flame diſpel
our Fears,</l>
                        <l>Re-kindle Hope, and dry <hi>Britannia</hi>'s Tears!</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

And ſince, from the Great, I have di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>greſſed to the Vulgar;
I cannot forget Dr. <hi>Ow—ns,</hi> whom, at the End of my Firſt
Volume, I promiſed to record, and ſcorn to deal in Lyes, as he did. This
pious Divine, who was an intimate Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quaintance of my Father's, gave himſelf
the Trouble of coming to my Landlord, Mr. <hi>R—ly,</hi> an Officer of
Mace, in <hi>Mi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>chael's-Lane,</hi> a little while after I was parted from my
Huſband, together with his Curate, Mr. <hi>R—b—nſ—n,</hi>
and, with great Humanity, inſiſted on his turning me out of the Houſe,
otherwiſe they would preſent it: Tne Landlord aſked, what I had done?
They anſwered, I was an ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>communicated Perſon,—(a Lye;) that I had
run away from my Huſband, (another Lye;)—that ſince I had left him, I
had ſeven Baſtards,—which was pretty quick, as we had been but
ſeven Months aſunder,—<pb n="77" facs="tcp:0095100802:84"/> (another Lye;)—but
when a Churchman is in for it, he will out-lye the Devil; at length, theſe
Parſons deſcended ſo low, as to threaten to inform, that my Landlord's
Wife was a <hi>Roman,</hi> which I believe, was another Lye; but, whether true,
or falſe, it was very unbecoming their Characters, either as Gentlemen, or
Chriſtians, to ſay.

But I was to be inſulted at any Rate; for the Clergy hang
together; and if ſome did, it would be no great Loſs.

For when a ſwinging Sin is to be com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mitted, there is nothing
like a Gown and a Caſſock to cover it.

But once more to return to <hi>Albion.</hi> I had laid out a
Couple of Guineas on a little curious Picture, which I bought to ſell again,
but was adviſed to preſent it to the Lord Almoner, who, they ſaid, had a
Taſte for Painting? He generouſly ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceepted of my Favour, but neither made
me any Return from his own Bounty, nor his Majeſty's; ſo I had no great
Reaſon to ſay, he deſerved the Character of an honeſt Man.

               <pb n="78" facs="tcp:0095100802:85"/>On the Change of the Miniſtry, I wrote the
following Lines:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To the Rt. Hon. <hi>HENRY PELHAM,</hi>
                        Eſq

                     <l>AMIDST contending Parties Strife for Sway,</l>
                     <l>Eager to rule, reluctant to obey;</l>
                     <l>How juſt, how noble, muſt his Conduct ſeem!</l>
                     <l>Whom all unite to honour, and eſteem?</l>
                     <l>This bliſsful Fate, this Happineſs divine,</l>
                     <l>Has Heaven reſerv'd to crown a Life, like Thine;</l>
                     <l>This the Reward ſublimer Virtues claim,</l>
                     <l>Unenvy'd Honours, and unſpotted Fame!</l>
                     <l>Integrity in faireſt Light confeſs'd,</l>
                     <l>Lives in the ſacred Centre of thy Breaſt;</l>
                     <l>Oh, never, never, from her Laws depart!</l>
                     <l>So, reign, confeſs'd, the Friend of ev'ry Heart;</l>
                     <l>Fix'd on her ſolid Baſe, thy Worth ſhall ſtand,</l>
                     <l>And <hi>Britons</hi> bleſs thy delegated Hand:</l>
                     <l>
                        <pb n="79" facs="tcp:0095100802:86"/>Ev'n reſtleſs Faction ſhall
enſure thy Peace,</l>
                     <l>And only Heav'n thy Happineſs increaſe.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

I ſhewed theſe Lines to Mr. <hi>Cibber,</hi> who liked them
ſo well, that he undertook to deliver them for me.

The next Morning, early, he did ſo, and then call'd upon me,
and, giving me five Guineas, aſked me, whether I thought them a ſufficient
Reward for my Poetry? I told him, I readily did: Well then, ſaid he, Mr.
<hi>Pelham</hi> diſtinguiſhed thus:
<q rend="inline">"There are Five Guineas, for the Lady's Numbers;
and Five more, for the good Advice they contain; and tell her, I hope God will
always give me Grace to follow it."</q>
               <q>
                  <l>There was a Stateſman! when comes ſuch
another?</l>
               </q>

Not ſeeing Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> for a Fortnight after this
Inſtance of his Friendſhip and Humanity, I wrote to him the following
Lines:
<q>
                  <pb n="80" facs="tcp:0095100802:87"/>
                  <lg>
                     To Mr. <hi>CIBBER.</hi>

                     <l>SINCE You became ſo great a Stranger,</l>
                     <l>My Muſe, and Life, have been in Dan<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ger;</l>
                     <l>Conſider, both on You depend,</l>
                     <l>As their inſpiring, faithful Friend;</l>
                     <l>And, ſhou'd your guardian Care decreaſe,</l>
                     <l>Their animating Fires muſt ceaſe;</l>
                     <l>Since Novelties alone delight you,</l>
                     <l>I've found a Method to excite you;</l>
                     <l>A Scheme, untry'd before to move you,</l>
                     <l>'Tis plainly to confeſs, I love you;</l>
                     <l>Now, look not with Surprize, or Cold<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neſs,</l>
                     <l>Nor call this Declaration Boldneſs;</l>
                     <l>For mine's a Flame divinely pure,</l>
                     <l>For ever fitted to endure;</l>
                     <l>From ev'ry groſſer Thought refin'd,</l>
                     <l>A Love for your accompliſh'd Mind.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> ſent me Word, he was going to the
Maſquerade; but would ſee me next Day, which gave riſe to the follow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
Lines:
<q>
                  <pb n="81" facs="tcp:0095100802:88"/>
                  <lg>
                     To <hi>COLLEY CIBBER,</hi>
                        Eſq

                     <l>CAN now a Maſquerade delight you?</l>
                     <l>What are it's Charms that can invite you?</l>
                     <l>Have not your Eyes to Age ſurvey'd</l>
                     <l>The medley World in Maſquerade?</l>
                     <l>Where Friendſhip's Maſque conceals the Knave,</l>
                     <l>And Cowards wear the Maſque of Brave;</l>
                     <l>The Maſque of Love, we frail Ones find</l>
                     <l>Worn, when our Ruin is deſign'd;</l>
                     <l>The Patriot's Maſque conceals <hi>Sedition,</hi>
                     </l>
                     <l>And ſoft Humility's, <hi>Ambition</hi>;</l>
                     <l>Ev'n you, ſometimes, the Maſque will wear,</l>
                     <l>And, what you are not, oft appear;</l>
                     <l>Rally your Faults with Wit, and Spirit,</l>
                     <l>And make your Folly maſque your Merit:</l>
                     <l>Come undiſguis'd then, come reveal'd</l>
                     <l>To me, and Truth; let Folly yield,</l>
                     <l>And leave the Maſque to Fools conceal'd.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> received theſe Lines with his uſual
Partiality to me and my Per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>formances.

               <pb n="82" facs="tcp:0095100802:89"/>And here, it may not be amiſs to give a
particular Character of this Gentleman, as no Man has ever been more
ſatyrized, or leſs deſerved it.

And, I think, I cannot do it, in a bet<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter Manner, than I have
uſed in deſcribing Dr. <hi>Swift</hi>;—that is, to give him to my
Readers in his Words, and Actions, as near as I can recollect them, during the
Time I had the Honour of being known to him: And if the petty Scribblers
ſhould ſay, that I never knew him, any more than I did the Dean of St.
<hi>Patrick</hi>'s;—why they only take away Merit from me with one Hand,
to give it to me with the other; and muſt, at leaſt, afford me the Praiſe
of inventing with Probability: that I have not
<q>
                  <l>Drawn Bears in Water, Dolphins in the Trees,</l>
               </q> But am
uniform in my Characters, and
<q>
                  <l>Paint <hi>Achilles</hi> as <hi>Achilles</hi> was.</l>
               </q>

               <pb n="83" facs="tcp:0095100802:90"/>As I have mentioned a poetical Intro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>duction
to this Gentleman's Favour, I muſt give a particular Account of his firſt
Viſit: He ran up Stairs with the Vivacity of a Youth of Fifteen, and, making
me a courtly Bow, ſaid, he was ſure I did not known him; I anſwered,
<q>
                  <l>Not to know him, would argue myſelf un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>known.</l>
               </q>

               <q rend="inline">"And, prithee, ſaid he, why did not you come to
my Houſe the Moment you came to <hi>London?</hi>"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Upon my Word, Sir, that would have been a
modeſt Proof of <hi>Iriſh</hi> Aſſurance; how could I hope for a
Reception?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Pſhaw, ſaid he, Merit is a ſufficient
Recommendation to me."</q> I cour<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>teſied, and, as we both ſtood,
<q rend="inline">"Sit down, ſaid he, be leſs ceremonious to be
better bred; come, ſhew me your Writings."</q> I obeyed; and, upon his
reading the Poem, called <hi>Sorrow,</hi> he burſt into Tears, and was not
aſſumed to give the flowing Virtue manly Way; he deſired a Copy of
it,—which I gave him; <pb n="84" facs="tcp:0095100802:91"/> and now his Curioſity was
raiſed, to know who I was? I told him, mine was a long, and mournful Story,
unfit for a Soul ſo humanized as his,
<q>
                  <l>Where dwelt the pitying Pang, the ten<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der Tear,</l>
                  <l>The Sigh for ſuff'ring Worth, the Wiſh preferr'd</l>
                  <l>For Humankind, the Joy to ſee them bleſt,</l>
                  <l>And all the ſocial Offspring of the Heart.</l>
               </q> Mr.
<hi>Cibber</hi> aſſured me, my fine Compli<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment ſhould not excuſe me;
for he was fully determined to have my Hiſtory from my own Lips; and
deſired I might come and breakfaſt with him next Morn<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing, and begin.

Accordingly, I waited on him, and wonderfully was he delighted
with my Account of Dr. <hi>Swift</hi>; he had the Patience to liſten to me
three Hours, without ever once interrupting me; a moſt uncommon Inſtance of
good Breeding, eſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pecially from a Perſon of his Years, who
<pb n="85" facs="tcp:0095100802:92"/> uſually dictate to the Company, and en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>groſs all the
Talk to themſelves: For, as Dr. <hi>Young</hi> obſerves,
<q>
                  <l>A Dearth of Words a Woman need not fear;</l>
                  <l>But 'tis a Taſk, indeed, to learn to hear!</l>
                  <l>In that the Skill of Converſation lies,</l>
                  <l>'Tis that muſt prove you both polite and wiſe.</l>
               </q> And
I do aſſure my Readers, the Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man neither yawned, ſcratched his
Head, beat Tatoo with his Foot, nor uſed any ſuch ambiguous Giving-out, to
note that he was weary.

So far from it, that tho' he was engaged to dine with the Duke of
<hi>Gr—ft—n,</hi> he had forgot it, 'till his Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vant came in, to
dreſs him; he ſtrictly charged me to come to him the next Morning, and
ſet my Spout a going, for ſo he merrily called my Mouth.

I obeyed his moſt kind Command; and, by way of Introduction,
told him a <pb n="86" facs="tcp:0095100802:93"/> Story Dr. <hi>Swift</hi> related to me, which
was as follows:

A Gentleman met a Friend in the Street, whom he had not ſeen for
ſome Years; he began to give him an Account of what had befallen him, ſince
their Se<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>paration from each other; a Care happened to intervene, upon which,
they took diffe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rent Streets; ſeven Years paſt, and it ſo befel, they met
juſt in the ſame Place, when, without the leaſt Ceremony, he proceeded in
his Story, "And, as I was telling you, ſaid he," <hi>&c.</hi>

I was going to proceed, when Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> interrupted me. I
was, ſaid he, at the Duke of <hi>R—chm—nd</hi>'s laſt. Sum<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mer,
when his Daughter, a moſt accom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pliſhed young Lady, and a very early
Ri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſer, ſat reading in a beautiful Portico, about Six in the Morning; I
accoſted the fair Creature, and aſked her the Subject of her Contemplation?
So in a moſt ele<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gant, and agreeable Stile, ſhe related to me Part of a
very entertaining Novel, ſhe held in her Hand, and, I believe, in bet<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter
Words than the Author wrote it. A <pb n="87" facs="tcp:0095100802:94"/> Summons to Breakfaſt
broke off her moſt agreeable Narration.

The next Morning I ſaw the Charmer in the ſame Portico, who
took up the Story at the very Word ſhe had broke off, and concluded it.

As <hi>Ireland</hi> is now graced with this illuſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>trious Fair
One, in whom Virtue, Beauty, Modeſty, Taſte, and every Excellence unite, I
hope for her Pardon, for preſu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ming to mention her.

And tho', as ſhe will ſoon ſee her no<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ble Father was a
beneficent Patron to me; I hate Flattery ſo much, that I would not, on that
Account, pay her a Compliment beyond what was due to her elevated Sta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, did
not her ſuperior Virtues command it.

Never yet were ſeen a more tender, or a more lovely Pair than
the Duke and Dutcheſs of <hi>Richmond,</hi> with their bloom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing Progeny,
like new-blown Roſes, ſmi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ling around them; an Inſtance, Wedlock may be
happy, even among the Great, when mutual Love, and mutual Honour join.
<q>
                  <pb n="88" facs="tcp:0095100802:95"/>
                  <l>Here Love his golden Shafts employs, here lights</l>
                  <l>His conſtant Lamp, and waves his pur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ple Wings;</l>
                  <l>Reigns here, and revels!</l>
               </q>

And, it is with infinite Pleaſure I learn, that Lord and Lady
<hi>Kildare</hi> are as great an Example in conjugal Fidelity, Piety, and
Generoſity, as their noble Parents.

This Digreſſion, I am certain, will be excuſed.

I went on with my Story to Mr. <hi>Cibber,</hi> who, at laſt, in
flowing Spirits, cried,
<q rend="inline">"Z—ds! write it out, juſt as you re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>late
it, and, I'll engage it will fell."</q>

Every Poem, as I occaſionally introdu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ced them, he made me give
him a Copy of, and communicated them to the Earl of <hi>Cheſterfield,</hi>
who poſitively inſiſted on it, that I muſt underſtand <hi>Greek,</hi>
and <hi>Latin,</hi> otherwiſe I never could write <hi>Engliſh</hi> ſo
well. Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> ſaid, he had not enquired, but that he would that
Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment: And, accordingly, came, and told <pb n="89" facs="tcp:0095100802:96"/> me, what my Lord
had ſaid; I aſſured him, I was ignorant of every Language, except my
Mother-tongue; but that if he would be ſo kind to preſent my Reſpects to
his Lordſhip, and let him know, that Dr. <hi>Swift</hi> had taught me
<hi>Engliſh,</hi> I was certain, he would allow, I had an excel<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lent Tutor;
to which his Lordſhip readily acquieſced.

But, alas! though my Honours were very great, my Profits were very
ſmall. The diſmal Return of Summer, for ſo it was to me, robbed me of
every Friend; and, as I could not take up with mean Company, I was as
ſolitary in <hi>London</hi> as the Pelican in the Wilderneſs. I acquainted
Dr. <hi>T—rnbull</hi> with my melancholy Situ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ation, and prevailed on him
to write to Mr. <hi>P—n,</hi> to remit to me what was due, on the
Agreement between us. About ten Days after, the Poſt-man brought a Letter,
marked from <hi>Dublin,</hi> to the Doctor; he happened to be at
<hi>Ken<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſington,</hi> ſo I paid for it; and knowing he had no Acquaintance
in <hi>Ireland,</hi> I ven<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tured <pb n="90" facs="tcp:0095100802:97"/> to open it; it was wrote
in a Text-Hand, the Contents of it were as follow:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <opener>
                        <salute>SIR,</salute>
                     </opener>

IN the Abſence of my Client, Mr. <hi>P—,</hi> I
received your Letter; and he would have you to know, the Woman, you mention, is
not his Wife, nor has he any thing to ſay to the infamous Wretch; ſhe fled
from <hi>Ireland,</hi> where ſhe ought to have been executed, for kill<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
her Father, three of her Baſtards, and poiſoning her Huſband. It does not
be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>come a Clergyman to countenance a com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mon Proſtitute; if ſhe owes you
any Money, you may put her in Jail; for I do aſſure you, it will never be
paid by Mr. <hi>P—n.</hi>

                     <closer>
                        <signed>I am, Sir, Your's, J. WALSH.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

               <pb n="91" facs="tcp:0095100802:98"/>Could one believe that any thing leſs than
infernal Malice could have forged ſuch an Accuſation againſt an innocent
Perſon? My very Blood thrilled with Horror, to think there could be ſuch a
Monſter of my Species; I am ſure he
<q>
                  <l>Shou'd never pray more, abandon all Remorſe</l>
                  <l>On Horrors Head, Horrors accumulate,</l>
                  <l>Do Deeds to make Heaven weep, all Earth amaz'd;</l>
                  <l>For nothing can he to Damnation add,</l>
                  <l>Greater than this.</l>
               </q>

Tho' I was far from the leaſt Appre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion that the evil Facts I
was charged with, as to killing all my Family, would meet with any Credit; yet
Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>'s denying me to be his Wife, and the De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>claration that I
was not intitled to any thing from him might hurt mine; I ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>preſſed the
Letter for a Day or two, 'till learning, by Accident, that the Lord Bi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſhop
of <hi>Kilmore,</hi> now Lord Archbiſhop of <pb n="92" facs="tcp:0095100802:99"/>
               <hi>Tuam</hi> (to whoſe Family my Father had the Honour of being Phyſician,
and to whoſe Humanity I am infinitely indebted, which, with the utmoſt
Reſpect, and Gratitude, I take this public Opportunity of acknow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ledging) was
in <hi>London</hi>; I took the Li<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>berty of addreſſing myſelf to him, as
the Daughter of a Gentleman, whom I was ſenſible his Lordſhip regarded;
my Ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>plication was not in vain, for though he that Day ſet out for
<hi>Ireland,</hi> he not only ſent me a handſome Preſent, but gave it in
ſo genteel, ſo polite a Manner, with his Compliments, that it added tenfold
Weight to his Favour.

When my Lord's Gentleman came to me, Providence ſo ordered, that
Dr. <hi>T—bull</hi> was drinking Coffee with me, and upon this
Encouragement of a Prelate's taking Compaſſion on my loſt Eſtate; I
ventured to communicate to him Mr. <hi>Walſh</hi>'s Letter; the Doctor lifted
up his Hands and Eyes to Heaven, and ſeemed as much ſhocked at the
Perfidiouſneſs of the Wretch, as I had been; for whoever wrote the Letter,
it was certainly done by <pb n="93" facs="tcp:0095100802:100"/> Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>'s
Direction; but no Won<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der, when he had ſworn I was dead, and was actually
married to another, he tried every Method to deſtroy me. And, to convince the
World, I do not wrong him, I here preſent them with a Letter I re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceived from
<hi>Ireland,</hi> and communicated to the preſent Primate, who knows it was
not a forged, but a genuine One.

            <floatingText type="letter">

                  <opener>
                     <salute>MADAM,</salute>
                  </opener>

I Beg pardon for giving you this Trou<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ble, though whether it can
be any to you, I know not, having been ſo often aſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſured by him, who
ought to have the beſt Cauſe of Knowledge, that you were long ſince dead;
but, to my great Surprize, I was informed by a Gentleman of Diſtinc<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion,
lately come from <hi>London,</hi> that he ſaw you, that you were very well,
and lived in <hi>St. James</hi>'s <hi>Street.</hi>

The Cauſe of my Writing to you may ſeem odd, but this it
is.

Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> has, for ſome Time paſt, paid his
Addreſſes to a young Lady, who is the Daughter of my moſt intimate
<pb n="94" facs="tcp:0095100802:101"/> Friend, to whom I have often heard him, with repeated
Oaths, not only confirm your Death, but that alſo of his two younger
Children—the latter is already found to be a baſe Falſehood; and
ſhould it appear that he has attempted to impoſe a greater on us, there is
no Penalty the Law can inflict, which he ſhall not ſuf<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fer, nor ſhall my
Reſentment ever leſſen or abate, as he has juſtly merited it.

I beg, Madam, if you yet exiſt, you will favour me with an
Anſwer, and let me know whether there were any Terms of Agreement between you
and Mr. <hi>P—n,</hi> on your Separation; and be aſſured neither
Money nor Friends ſhall be wanting to ſupport your Intereſt; and though I
have not the Pleaſure of being known to you, you will find a real Friend
in

                  <closer>
                     <signed>DAVID LAMBERT.</signed>
                  </closer>
                  <postscript>

Direct to me at the <hi>Globe Coffee-Houſe,
Dublin.</hi>

                  </postscript>

            </floatingText>

               <pb n="95" facs="tcp:0095100802:102"/>I anſwered this Letter the Moment I
re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceived it, which was three Weeks after the Date, and never heard of the
Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man more, nor know I whether he exiſts, or not.

And as Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> has, ſince my Return to
<hi>Ireland,</hi> accuſed me of at<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tempting to injure him with the Primates,
as he ſtiles them; I fairly own I ſent Mr. <hi>Walſh</hi>'s Letter to the
late Lord Primate <hi>Hoadly,</hi> and Mr. <hi>Lambert</hi>'s Letter to the
preſent Lord Primate, (who, as he ſays in his moſt ſtupid Epiſtle,
ſcorned to counte<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nance me;) and gave him my Letter, and my Liſt of
Subſcribers alſo, with full Power to do to them what he pleaſed: And,
truly Mr. Parſon, ſo do I; but if nei<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther the Lord Lieutenant, nor any of
the principal Perſons of Diſtinction in this Kingdom, who have honoured me
with their Regard, ſhould be willing to bear an Inſult from you, how can
you help your<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf? Why, Man, we are in a Proteſtant Country, and diſdain
to be Prieſt-ridden.

Finding myſelf unable to pay ſo high a Rent as I ſtood at, I
diſcharged my <pb n="96" facs="tcp:0095100802:103"/> Lodging and Servant, and went to board
and lodge at a very genteel Houſe in <hi>Green-ſtreet,
Groſvenor-Square</hi>; my Land<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lord was Valet de Chambre to the Earl of
<hi>Stair,</hi> and his Wife a top Laundreſs, which, in <hi>London,</hi> is a
very profitable Employment.

As ſhe waſhed for ſeveral Perſons of Diſtinction, ſhe
uſed, on a <hi>Sunday,</hi> to in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vite the Head-Servants of Noblemen's
Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>milies to Dinner, at which, I never took Umbrage; for you are ſure from
them to learn every Circumſtance relating to their Lords and Ladies; and many
entertaining Stories of their particular Humours and Gallantries, did I learn;
ſo true is it, that either good or evil Fame proceeds from our Domeſtics;
and no Wonder, as they have a better Opportunity than the reſt of the World,
to watch our unguarded Hours, and comment on our Frailties.

Amongſt others, Sir <hi>John Ligonier</hi>'s Gentleman, as they
ſtiled him, which Name, his generous Maſter ſoon after en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>titled him to,
by giving him a Commiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion, dined with us; he looked very at<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tentively
<pb n="97" facs="tcp:0095100802:104"/> at me, and put me into Confu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion, by telling my
Landlady, ſhe had, to his Knowledge, a Gentlewoman Lodger.

After Dinner, my Landlord brought in a large Bowl of Punch, Pipes
and Tobacco, upon which I made my <hi>Exit.</hi>

I had not long been in my Dreſſing-Room, which opened into a
very ſweet Garden, when Mr. <hi>Parkinſon,</hi> for ſo was this Perſon
called, followed me. He told me, he hated Drink and Tobacco, and would be
infinitely obliged to me for a Diſh of Tea, which, as my Curioſity was
raiſed by the Words he had let drop at Din<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ner, I readily conſented to give
him.

He had, he told me, frequently ſeen me in
<hi>Stephen's-Green,</hi> and was in <hi>Dublin</hi> at the Time of my
Separation from my Huſband, and that Numbers of People la<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mented my hard
Fate. I told him I had not found it ſo, for that I could not even get what
was due to me from thence, nor an Anſwer to any Letter I ever wrote.

He then aſked me, how I got any Sup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>port; eſpecially, as he
had learned from the Family, that I lived very retired; I in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>genuouſly
<pb n="98" facs="tcp:0095100802:105"/> told him, I had no other For<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tune than my Pen, and, at
his Requeſt, ſhewed him ſome of my Writings; he told me his Maſter
delighted in Poetry, and was one of the moſt generous Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>men living, and
that he was certain, if I applied to him, he would be a Friend to me: I was
eaſily prevailed on to write to him, to beg he would do me the Honour of
ſubſcribing to me, and ſent him ſuch of my Rhymes as I myſelf had the
beſt Opinion of. The General wrote me a very polite Anſwer, and, as he
lived but a few Doors from my Lodging, gave me, the next Evening, the Honour of
a Viſit.

This Gentleman is ſo univerſally known, beloved, honoured, and
eſteemed, that I dare not attempt his Character, being aſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſured my beſt
Painting would fall infi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nitely ſhort of the excellent Original. Nor was I at
all ſurprized that he ſhould be a Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vourite of the Fair, who was adorned
with Honour, Generoſity, Valour, and yet even Female Softneſs, and
Complacency, added to the Charms of a moſt graceful and majeſtic
Perſon.

               <pb n="99" facs="tcp:0095100802:106"/>And if in an advanced Age he ſhone ſo
brightly, what muſt he have done in his firſt Bloom, when
<q>
                  <l>His kindling Cheeks, with purple Beau<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ties glow'd,</l>
                  <l>His lovely ſparkling Eyes ſhot martial Fires;</l>
                  <l>Dreadful as <hi>Mars,</hi> and as his <hi>Venus</hi>
charming.</l>
               </q> I dare ſay, half the Ladies would have cried out with
<hi>Phoedra.</hi>
               <q>
                  <l>O God-like Form! O Extaſy, and Tranſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>port!</l>
               </q>

This worthy Gentleman ſubſcribed to me for Twelve Books, and
alſo engaged the late Duke of <hi>Argyle,</hi> the Earl of <hi>Stair,</hi>
the Lord <hi>Cobham,</hi> and ſeveral other <hi>Eng<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liſh</hi> Noblemen, to
do me the ſame Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour.

So the Almighty raiſed me Friends, even in a ſtrange Land; and
proved my Huſband, tho' a Prieſt, no Prophet, who <pb n="100" facs="tcp:0095100802:107"/>
declared I ſhould ſtarve; to which, indeed, his beſt Endeavours have not
been wanting.

But, he ſhould have remembered the Words of holy <hi>David: I
have been young, and now am old, yet never ſaw I the Righ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>teous Man
forſaken, nor his Seed begging their Bread.</hi>

My dear Father had, by his many good Works, entailed a
Bleſſing on my honeſt Endeavours; and as Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> uſed to
ſay, when I wrote any thing that pleaſed him,
<q rend="inline">"The Gift of the great God to you, preſerves
you;"</q> which, as I never ſold, nor proſtituted it to unworthy Ends, I
humbly hope his Mercy will afford to me, as long as I have any Being.

This timely Aſſiſtance enabled me not only to live, but to
purſue my writing, which no Perſon can ever do well, while their Minds are,
like <hi>Martha</hi>'s, troubled with many Things.

A few Days after this, a very genteel pretty Woman, took a Lodging
in the ſame Houſe with me: She was with Child, and her Huſband was, as
ſhe ſaid, a Lawyer, and was gone the Circuit; ſo <pb n="101" facs="tcp:0095100802:108"/>
finding the City not agree with her, ſhe moved to better Air. As ſhe had
very good Furniture, my Landlady made no Scruple to accept of her without
farther Enquiry; and I was well pleaſed to think, I ſhould have an
agreeable Companion.

Her Manner of Life greatly ſurprized me; for, in two Months
Time, ſhe never once went abroad, nor did any human Creature come to viſit
her.

At length, about two o'Clock one Morning, a Gentleman came, who,
ſhe ſhe ſaid, was her Huſband; ſhe let him in herſelf, and he left
her early in the Morning, ſo that none of the Family ſaw him; he repeated
his nocturnal Viſits ſeve<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ral Times, after the ſame Manner, in the Dead
ſtill, and Middle of the Night, which appeared to me rather to wear the Face
of an Amour, than lawful Matri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mony.

At length, the Gentleman failed in his Attendance, and the Lady
ſaid, he was gone into the Country.
<q>
                  <pb n="102" facs="tcp:0095100802:109"/>
                  <l>The Nightly Knocking at the Door did ceaſe,</l>
                  <l>The noiſeleſs Hammer ruſted there in Peace.</l>
               </q> Some
Weeks paſt over without either a Meſſage, or a Letter, coming from the
ſuppoſed Huſband, upon which ſhe fell into a deep Melancholy; which,
though ſhe ſeemed to attribute to her Apprehen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion of the approaching
Hour, I could ea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſily perceive had ſome more ſecret and latent
Cauſe.

And as in my Life I had never ſeen a more retired, or modeſt
Perſon, I had the utmoſt Compaſſion for her, and judged, if ſhe was
among the Number of the Unfor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tunate, ſome uncommon Villainy had been
practiſed againſt her.

As we were very intimate, I frequently ſurprized her in Tears;
and, at laſt, I ventured to beg her to acquaint me with the Cauſe of her
Affliction, aſſuring her, it was not an impertinent Female Curioſity
which urged me on, but a real Deſire to <pb n="103" facs="tcp:0095100802:110"/> be
ſerviceable to her, which, perhaps, by ſome Means or other, Providence
might point out.

She burſt into Tears, and fondly em<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bracing me, told me, ſhe
wanted a Friend to unboſom herſelf to, and added, that if I would be her
Bedfellow that Night, ſhe would relate to me her unhappy Story.

Wiſhed for Night came, and my fair Friend kept her
Promiſe.

I am, ſaid ſhe, the Daughter of an emi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nent Merchant, who by
his extraordinary good Nature, in being Surety for others, hoſpitable Spirit,
and very great Loſſes at Sea, was obliged to live in a more narrow
Compaſs than ſuited the Generoſity of his Mind; my Mother dying when I
was but twelve Years of Age, my Father made me Miſtreſs of the Houſe,
which he ſaid would teach me to be an Oeconomiſt, and to know how to govern
one of my own. When I was about fourteen Years of Age, a wealthy Packer, a very
handſome Man, courted me; my Father ingenuouſly told him, he could give him
but five hun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dred <pb n="104" facs="tcp:0095100802:111"/> Pounds, with which, if he was
ſatis<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fied, and, that I had no Objection to it, he ſhould be very glad to
have him for a Son-in-law.

Mr. <hi>H—rn—l,</hi> for ſo was he called,
aſſured him he would gladly take me without a Portion, but my Father
inſiſted on his Acceptance of it, as it would help to furniſh a
Houſe.

Whatever may be thought at <hi>St. James</hi>'s, theſe who
converſe with the Traders of <hi>London,</hi> will find, they neither want
Senſe nor Politeneſs; and I liked Mr. <hi>H—l</hi> ſo well, that I
was very glad of being ſo happily diſpoſed of.

My Huſband took a Houſe commo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dious for his Buſineſs, and
for four Years, during which Time I had four Children, we lived in great
Harmony.

But, in the mean Time, I had the Miſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fortune of loſing my dear
Father, who leſt the little Remainder of his Fortune, as a Portion for my
younger Siſter, and ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pointed my Huſband to be her Guardian.

One Day he told me, he was afraid he ſhould not be able to keep
ſuch good <pb n="105" facs="tcp:0095100802:112"/> Hours as he had done, being choſen a
Member of the Philoſophic Club; in which were many Gentlemen of
Diſtinc<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, whoſe Acquaintance it was greatly his Intereſt to
cultivate, and to whom it was an Honour to be known, ſo he hoped it would not
give me any Uneaſineſs: I anſwered, he had always been ſo indulgent to
me, I muſt be ungrateful, indeed, to take Offence, or be uneaſy at any
thing he was pleaſed to do; he ſeemed tranſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ported with my Anſwer,
kiſſed me, and ſaid, I was the beſt Wife living. Little did I think
what Villainy he was perpetra<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ting againſt me.

He now ſtayed out ſeveral Nights en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tirely, and, if he came at
all, it was not 'till Four or Five in the Morning, which, being unacquainted
with Jealouſy, gave me no other Concern, than the Fear that Irre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gularities
might prejudice his Health; but I have often been ſurprized at his coming
Home ſo ſober, and that he did not ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pear drowſy, after ſuch long
watching.

One Morning, in particular, he no ſooner entered, but he called
for his Ri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ding <pb n="106" facs="tcp:0095100802:113"/> Dreſs, and told me, he was going with
a Gentleman into the Country, for a few Days; ſo giving me his Purſe, in
which were forty Guineas, he deſired I would carefully obſerve his
Buſineſs, in which I was now a pretty good Proficient.

Three Months Time elapſed, and, tho' I wrote to him, according
to his own Di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rection, I never received an Anſwer.

I was now filled with the moſt gloomy Apprehenſions; one Time
concluding he had been murdered; a thouſand Fears preſented themſelves to
my Imagination, 'till loſt and bewildered, I could fix on nothing: My Friends
perſuaded me to ad<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vertiſe him, which accordingly I did.

Some Days after, a very well dreſt young Gentleman deſired to
ſee me; I ſhewed him into the Parlour, where he demanded of me, whether I
was Mr. <hi>H—l</hi>'s Wife? I ſaid, yes; upon which, to my great
Surprize, he aſked me, could I prove it? I aſſured him I could:
<q rend="inline">"That is all I want, Madam:"</q> I begged he would
explain thoſe dark Speeches, inaſmuch as they quite terrified
<pb n="107" facs="tcp:0095100802:114"/> me:
<q rend="inline">"Madam, ſaid he, my Name is
<hi>L—ck—y,</hi> I have a good Eſtate, and am newly called to the
Bar; your Huſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>band has inveigled away my Siſter, and married her; ſhe is
under Age, and has fifteen thouſand Pounds to her Fortune; ſhe ſhall
prove her Marriage; and, if you do not prove your prior one, what can the World
think of you?"</q>

I was ſo aſtoniſhed at this Account, that I fainted
away;—the Gentleman called the Servants to my Aſſiſtance, and
ſtayed by me 'till I came to myſelf; the Agonies I felt, are only known to
thoſe who have truly and tenderly loved: dread<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ful Alternative! either to
proſecute a be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>loved Huſband to Death, or be myſelf deemed an infamous
Woman?

Here the poor Creature had ſo renewed her own Anguiſh, and
ſo awakened all my Woes, that our Eyes ſtreamed ſocial, and mingled their
ſympathetic Waters; 'till, inſenſibly, the dewy-feathered Sleep cloſed
up our Eye-lids.

               <pb n="108" facs="tcp:0095100802:115"/>I longed as much for the next Night, as the
<hi>Sultan,</hi> in <hi>The Arabian Nights En<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tertainment,</hi> did to hear the
charming <hi>Sche<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>razade</hi>'s fine Stories; at length it came, and the Lady
proceeded.

I begged a Day or two to conſider on ſo important an Affair,
and alſo to con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſult with my Friends, what was moſt ad<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>viſeable for me
to do, and then I would return a poſitive Anſwer; ſo, having an Uncle in
<hi>Bond-ſtreet,</hi> I ſent my Houſhold Furniture there: Dear Madam,
ſaid I, what did you do with your Children? Oh, returned ſhe, I never had
one that lived above a few Days. That, ſaid I, was happy. I think ſo now,
ſaid ſhe, though I did not then. I told my Uncle all my mournful Story, who
adviſed me, bv all Means, to vindicate myſelf, and not fall a Prey to ſo
conſummate a Villain.

I ſtayed with my Uncle, who was a Widower; my Siſter married,
and Mr. <hi>H—</hi> would not pay her her For<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tune, as ſhe had not
aſked his Conſent: <pb n="109" facs="tcp:0095100802:116"/> My Uncle would not permit either
a Let<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter, or a Meſſage to be delivered to me, but kept me a perfect
Priſoner; how<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ever, there was a young Lady in the Neighbourhood, whom he had
ſome In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>clination to marry, and whom he fre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quently brought, as a Companion,
to re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieve my ſolitary Hours.

One Evening ſhe inſiſted on my coming to drink Tea with her,
my Uncle urged me to it; I went. Judge of my Surprize! when I found there my
Huſband's Mother and Siſter all drowned in Tears; they told me, he was
confined in <hi>Newgate,</hi>—had taken the Priſon-Fever, and declared
he could not die in Peace, unleſs he ſaw me.

I loved too well to refuſe his Requeſt, upon which they
immediately hurried me into a Coach; and there indeed he was; the Lawyer had
arraigned him for his Life, and he muſt take his Trial.

He looked ſo dejected, and ſeemed ſo ſincerely penitent,
and I, alas! ſo ſincerely loved him, that I even conſented to ſtay with
him in his Confinement; he acknow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ledged <pb n="110" facs="tcp:0095100802:117"/> his Fault; but
very artfully inſinu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ated, that it did not proceed from any Change in his
Affection, but that his Cir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cumſtances were ſo diſtreſſed, that he
had no other Means to retrieve them; that his Death could be of no Service to
me;—that I knew myſelf to be his lawful Wife; that he would always
ſupport me; in ſhort, he uſed every tender and prevailing Argument to
keep me from appearing againſt him, and, Heaven knows, I had no Inclination
to do it.

When his Trial-Day came, his ſecond Wife fully proved her
Marriage to him; but, like the real Mother, I choſe to give her all, ſooner
than divide him, ſo ſhe triumphed over me; and, as I had given up the
Cauſe, none of my Friends would give me any Aſſiſtance. I am now in the
oddeſt Situation imaginable; even a kept Miſtreſs to my own Huſband;
for, upon no other Terms, would he give me any Relief; nor do I know whether to
ſtile myſelf innocent or guilty for my Conde<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſcenſion to him.

               <pb n="111" facs="tcp:0095100802:118"/>As my Tenderneſs for him made me appear in
a bad Light to the World, ever ready to cenſure even our beſt Actions; I
dare not in my preſent Condition, let any Perſon, who knows me, ſee me,
leſt they ſhould think of me worſe than I deſerve—I have had no
Supply from him for a conſiderable Time; he has prohibited my writing to him
at his Houſe; and now, dear Madam, adviſe me what to do.

There was ſomething ſo peculiarly un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>happy in this poor
Creature's Fate, that it might puzzle a wiſer Head than mine to comply with
her Requeſt; I conſidered it every way without being able to form any
Scheme for her Relief.

At length, ſhe told me, he kept an Of<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fice on
<hi>Ludgate-Hill,</hi> (where he was always to be found at Nine) in the
Morning, as his ſecond Wife was too fine a Lady to bear one in the Houſe;
ſhe imagined, if I could ſee him, I might work on his Compaſſion; I
readily conſented to do any thing which might be ſerviceable to her, and
riſing early next Morning, ſhe <pb n="112" facs="tcp:0095100802:119"/> gave me a Letter to
him, which I pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſed not to deliver, but into his own Hand.

Accordingly, I ſet out on my Embaſſy, and found the
Gentleman, ſuch as ſhe had deſcribed him, a polite, handſome Man, of
above thirty Years of Age; he was alone, and received me very civilly: I
preſented the Letter, but ſeemed ignorant of the Contents; I could eaſily
perceive he was much diſturbed; however, with a marvellous Aſſurance, he
ſaid, he could not give Charity to every Body; that he had often
aſſiſted that unfortunate Perſon; that ſhe ought to work for her
Bread, as many of her Betters did, and a Number of ſuch inhuman Speeches,
common on thoſe Occaſions. I told him her preſent Condi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tions did not
enable her to perform any but Needle-work, and that he who put her into it
ſhould ſupport her; he aſked me what I meant? Nothing but Honesty; if a
Man gets a Child he ought to take care of it. What, ſaid he, would you have
me father a Baſtard? She could not, <pb n="113" facs="tcp:0095100802:120"/> I am ſure, have
One by you; and would not, I am convinced, have One by any Body elſe. He bade
me explain myſelf; I told him, he perfectly underſtood me, and therefore it
was not neceſſary; but that if he pleaſed, I would tell Mrs.
<hi>H—l</hi> the ſecond, of his Midnight Viſits to his Wife. The
Wretch ſeemed confounded, and ſeeing I knew him ſo well, thought he had
beſt be quiet, eſpecially as a Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tleman came in, before whom he did not
care to be expoſed; ſo he called me to the Staircaſe, and putting a
Couple of Guineas into my Hand, ſaid aloud, Madam, I ſhall take care, and
mind your Directions; I begged he would, and ſo we parted: But, I am well
convinced, it was Fear, not Love, that made him ſend her even that
Trifle.

This unhappy Lady died a few Hours after ſhe was brought to Bed,
the Infant alſo died; and I hope, though her Huſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>band, by her Lenity, once
eſcaped a Hal<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter, juſtly due to him, he has, by this Time, inherited it,
for I would have ſuch Offenders ſo cut off.

               <pb n="114" facs="tcp:0095100802:121"/>I grew ſo melancholy at the Loſs of my
Companion, that I did not even care for writing, but amuſed myſelf entirely
with reading; and my not having a Li<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>brary of my own, made me a conſtant
Cuſtomer to a Shop in the Neighbour<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>hood, where they hired out Books by the
Quarter; this brought me into an Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quaintance with the Perſons who kept it,
ſenſible, well-bred People: One Day I received a Letter from Mrs.
<hi>Ryves,</hi> for that was their Name, that ſhe had ſome very agreeable
Friends with her, and that they wanted a Hand at Quadrille, ſo ſhe hoped I
would be of their Party; I was very glad of any Recreation, and as they lived
but in <hi>Brook-Street,</hi> directly went. I was ſhewn into a Parlour,
where ſat an old Man, whom I knew to be a <hi>Grub-Street</hi> Writer, and a
young Gentleman in a very plain Dreſs, whom I alſo ſuppoſed to be in
the ſame Claſs; they were playing Crib<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bage for a Farthing a Game, and,
inſtead of Counters, ſcored with Chalk; they had alſo an Ale-houſe Pot,
with ſome Porter <pb n="115" facs="tcp:0095100802:122"/> in it, ſtanding by them, and the
Room ſmelled ſtrong of Tobacco; from theſe Appearances, I conceived a
very con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>temptible Opinion of the Company, and would have retired, had I known
how to do it civilly; but, as at my Entrance, I had told Mrs. <hi>Ryves,</hi> I
was entirely diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>engaged that Evening, I could by no means get off; and could
only hope for ſome little Amuſement, by hearing what thoſe Underlings in
Arts and Sciences might have to ſay;
<q>
                  <l>For ev'ry Object of Creation</l>
                  <l>May furniſh Hints for Contemplation.</l>
               </q> The Scene,
however, was changed, the diſagreeable Part of the Decoration re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>moved, and a
Quadrille Table introduced.

The younger Gentleman propoſed our playing for Nothing:
<q rend="inline">"Pſhaw, ſaid I, then we ſhall all
cheat;"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"I would no more do that, ſaid he, than give a
Vote againſt my Country."</q>—This ſurpri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>zed me; told him, I hoped,
as he ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pressed ſuch a Spirit of Patriotiſm, he had <pb n="116" facs="tcp:0095100802:123"/>
a Seat in the Houſe: He ſaid, he had the Honour of repreſenting the
ancient City of <hi>Canterbury</hi>; that his Father was Ad<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miral
<hi>Rocke,</hi> and that he was married to the Siſter of the Lord
<hi>Guilford Dudley,</hi> a Lady unmatched in Wit, and Beauty: I told him, I
was glad to find one Perſon of Diſtinction, who was not aſhamed to do
Juſtice to the Merits of his Lady:
<q rend="inline">"I ſhould be a Scoundrel, ſaid he to refuſe
it; ſhe gave me the Preference to a Man of a much larger Fortune, to whom her
Friends had deſtined her; an Obligation never to be forgot by a grateful
Spirit."</q> This Gentleman had ſuch an uncommon generous way of think<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing,
that, inſtead of minding the Game, I was quite attentive to him, which he
ob<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſerving, ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Take away the Cards, they are only fit to amuſe
ſuch as are incapable of taſting a more rational Entertainment."</q>

I was very glad of this;—the old Scrib<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bler walked into the
Shop, to recreate him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf <pb n="117" facs="tcp:0095100802:124"/> with Tobacco, and Porter;
and Mrs. <hi>Ryves</hi> went to get us ſome Chat-inſpiring Liquor, Green
Tea.

I told Mr. <hi>Rooke,</hi> if I had been any way wanting in
Reſpect to him, I hoped he would attribute it to my Ignorance of his Station,
and the Company, and Situa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion I found him in.

He aſſured me, I had committed no Offence, nor did he believe
it was in my Nature: But, ſaid he, as you have re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>marked on the Company, you
muſt know my Wife and Lord <hi>S—thw—ll</hi>'s Siſters went
this Morning to <hi>Greenwich:</hi> I had ſome Buſineſs which prevented
my waiting on them; when that was over, I went to <hi>Mount-Street
Coffee-Houſe,</hi> in order to pick up ſome Company to dine with me, and
finding none, I aſked the old Man, who refuſed me, as Mrs. <hi>Ryves</hi>
had engaged him; I told him, I would go dine with him;—as I had, in the
Shop, read your Apology for the Miniſter, I was greatly ſurpriſed to hear
it was the Product of a Lady's Pen; when I ſeemed to queſtion
<pb n="118" facs="tcp:0095100802:125"/> it, they propoſed ſending for you, which being very
agreeable to me, was imme<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>diately done; ſo, Madam, this is the Hiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tory of
the Day.

I thanked the Gentleman, for his Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>plaiſance in relating
it.

The Tea put him into ſuch high Spirits, that he, finding me a
Sort of a Politician, told me many entertaining Stories about Sir
<hi>Rob—t W—l<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                     <desc>•</desc>
                  </gap>
               </hi>'s
various Schemes to have always the Majority of the Houſe on his Side; of
which, as many as I can re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>collect that were humorous, I preſent my Readers
with.

The Firſt was this: One Sir <hi>Cl—dy
M—cd—l,</hi> a <hi>Scots</hi> Baronet, without a Foot of Eſtate,
was returned duly elected, for what Shire I have forgot; however, he came to
<hi>London,</hi> took a Hackney-Coach, and drove to Sir <hi>Rob—t</hi>'s;
the Servants ſaid, he was engaged; but Sir <hi>Cl—dy</hi> inſiſted
on his carrying up his Name, and, leſt he ſhould forget it, he jumped out
of the Coach, and, running up Stairs after him, delivered his Embaſſy
<pb n="119" facs="tcp:0095100802:126"/> himſelf. Sir <hi>Rob—t</hi> welcomed him, and,
like a Courtier, told him, he ſhould be glad to ſerve him:
<q rend="inline">"Nay, nay, Mon, returned he, I came na here for
Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pliments; I ha ne Siller to get a Lodg<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing, ſo I'll e'en ſtay here till
you give me ſome:"</q> So Sir <hi>Rob—t</hi> choſe to give him his
Purſe, rather than be plagued with his Impertinence.

The Earl of <hi>P—rb—h,</hi> a Pen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſioner, told Sir
<hi>Rob—t,</hi> he was always at a Loſs how to vote, inaſmuch as he
did not underſtand the Debates,—and was ſo near ſighted, that when
the Houſe divided, he knew not of which Side to go:—Sir
<hi>Rob—t</hi> bade him always follow the Bi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſhops. It happened, on the
Convention Scheme, three or four of the Biſhops roſe, and the Earl ſeeing
them move, he, ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cording to his Maſter's Direction, followed them, and voted
point-blank againſt his his Intereſt.

Mr. <hi>Rooke,</hi> ſeeing how much I was pleaſed,
proceeded:

               <pb n="120" facs="tcp:0095100802:127"/>A <hi>Scots</hi> Peer, who was alſo a
Pen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſioner, and a remarkable fat Man, came one Morning, according to
Cuſtom, to Sir <hi>Rob—t</hi>'s Levee, and, without the leaſt
Ceremony, laid hold of his Ribbon; Sir <hi>Rob—t</hi> could not readily
diſengage him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf, and the Nobleman lugged him to the Window, in which,
ſouſing him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf down, he happened to have an Eſcape, which carried
with it ſo loud a Report, that it threw the whole Company into Laughter.

Very well, my Lord, ſaid the Miniſter, pray what have you
farther to ſay?

               <q rend="inline">"Why, this it is, Sir <hi>Rob—t,</hi> I owe
Fifteen Hundred Pounds, and by G—d, if you don't give it to me, I'll go
to<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>morrow to the Houſe, and vote ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cording to Conſcience."</q> 'Tis to be
preſumed his Demand was complied with in private, though laughed at in
public, as he always voted with Sir <hi>Rob—t.</hi>

Mr. <hi>Rocke</hi> finding me attentive, pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceeded: The late Duke
of <hi>Wh—ton</hi> was a Man of infinite Variety, and Humour;
<pb n="121" facs="tcp:0095100802:128"/> at the Time of the Diſcovery of <hi>Atter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bury</hi>'s
<hi>Plot,</hi> as they called it, which was proved by decyphering Letters, and
tor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turing the harmleſs Alphabet into Treaſon; the Duke ſaw a Man at the
Door of the Parliament-Houſe, ſelling Horn-books; Sir
<hi>Rob—t</hi>'s Equipage ſtopped, and the Duke, laying hold of him as
he alight, told him, he was ſurpriſed he did not ſend that Fellow to
<hi>Newgate,</hi> who was ſelling ſuch a Libel on the Miniſtry:
<q rend="inline">"Why, ſaid Sir <hi>Rob—t,</hi> my Lord,
thoſe are Horn-books;"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Treaſon, by G—, replied the Duke, as I
will convince you;"</q> ſo holding him, he ran on,
<q>
                  <l>
                     <hi>A</hi> ſtands for an <hi>Army,</hi> and <hi>B</hi> for a
<hi>Bench,</hi>
                  </l>
                  <l>
                     <hi>C</hi> ſtands for a <hi>Court,</hi> and <hi>D</hi> for a
<hi>Drench,</hi>
                  </l>
                  <l>
                     <hi>E,</hi> I won't interpret that,</l>
                  <l>
                     <hi>F</hi> ſtands for gay <hi>France,</hi> which we hope
will not ſwerve,</l>
                  <l>And <hi>G</hi> ſtands for <hi>George,</hi>—whom God
long preſerve,</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="122" facs="tcp:0095100802:129"/>
                     <hi>P</hi> ſtands for the
<hi>P—x,</hi> the <hi>Pretender,</hi> the <hi>Pope,</hi>
                  </l>
                  <l>And <hi>R</hi> ſtands for <hi>Robin,</hi> and
<hi>Ribbon,</hi> and <hi>Rope!</hi>
                  </l>
               </q> ſaid he, pulling him by the blue
String; the Miniſter could not help himſelf, and being naturally of a
pacific Temper, took this as quietly as he did G-n-r-l
<hi>Ch—ch—ll</hi>'s lying with his W<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>fe.

As I had never heard the Story, I beg<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ged he would relate it: Why,
ſaid he Sir <hi>R-b-rt</hi> went out very early one Morning to the Houſe,
but having forgot ſome Paper of Importance to the dirty Work of the
Day,—he returned Home for it, and paſſing through his Wife's
Apartment to his Cloſet, what ſhould he ſee, but his ſerene Spouſe
and the General in amorous Dalliance—the General, All-Hero as he was,
jumped out of Bed, and beſought Mercy, from, as he ſuppoſed, his
incenſed Rival; but the good Man, reſembling <hi>Cato</hi> in one Point,
<q>
                  <pb n="123" facs="tcp:0095100802:130"/>
                  <l>Who, if a Friend or ſo ſhould chance to need her,</l>
                  <l>Would recommend her as a ſpecial Breeder.</l>
               </q> ſaid
careleſly,
<q rend="inline">"Prithee, what does the Fool mean? you look very
warm; get into Bed again, or you'll catch Cold."</q>

Mr. <hi>Rooke,</hi> ſeeing me ſo well diverted with this
Story, proceeded to another: As I have, ſaid he, mentioned the Duke of
<hi>Wh—rt—n,</hi>—you are to know, he had an Intrigue with
Mrs. <hi>P—,</hi> now C—teſs of <hi>B—</hi>; one Morning,
as they were in Bed together, he recollected that he had promiſed to write a
Letter to a Friend—ſo he called for a Pen, Ink, and Paper; but being at
a Loſs for a Writing-Deſk, made the Lady turn up her Poſte—s, and
dated his Letter from ſweet <hi>P—ggy P—lt—y</hi>'s
<hi>&c. &c. &c.</hi>

Here entered our kind Hoſt, and brought us in a Paper called the
<hi>Champion,</hi> in which was a very humorous Piece of Advice to all who went
to C—t, to wear Shields on their Bu—s; this was ſo <hi>Mal</hi>
               <pb n="124" facs="tcp:0095100802:131"/>
               <hi>à propos</hi> that it raiſed out Mirth:
Said Mr. <hi>Rooke,</hi> his M—'s own was in Dan<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ger the other Night; As
how, Sir? Why, ſaid he, Sir <hi>Rob—t,</hi> not chuſing to hurt the
Kingdom by the K—'s uſing foreign Commodities, when we had ſo much
cheaper and better at Home, recom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mended to him Miſs
<hi>Sk—rr—t,</hi> as an Hand-Maiden; his M— liked her ſo
well, that he invited her to ſup with him in the C—teſs of
<hi>Y—h</hi>'s Apart<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment, where growing a little more fond of his young
Miſtreſs than the old One could bear, ſhe aroſe, and as the K—
leaned over the Table, drew the Chair from under him, and let M— come
ſouſe to the Ground: Oh, what a Falling-off was there! He, all enraged,
roſe again, kicked firſt the C—ſs, next his Hat, and retired to his
Apartment, marvelouſly diſtempered with Choler.

Well, Sir, ſaid I, ſurely Sir <hi>R—t</hi> was a moſt
neceſſary Servant, that would even Sir <hi>Pandarus</hi> of <hi>Troy</hi>
become, and that for his own Daughter, to oblige his M—; but an able
Politician will turn <pb n="125" facs="tcp:0095100802:132"/> his Hand to any thing, where
Profits may accrue, and Mr. <hi>Gay</hi> obſerves that
<q>
                  <l>In Pimps, and Politicians,</l>
                  <l>The Genius is the ſame.</l>
               </q> And yet, who could
ſuſpect a Man of his Reverence and Station, for the moſt vile and
ſervile of all Employments!

Oh ſy, ſaid he, don't diſgrace ſo noble an Occupation. I
aſſure you, the Knight's Complaiſance to the General proved the Means of
ſaving his own Life; for, on the Exciſe Scheme, the People were ſo
incenſed, that they determined to put him to Death, and yet make it ſeem
Chance Medley: Accordingly, as he was going down to St. <hi>Stephen</hi>'s
<hi>Steps,</hi> into our il<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>luſtrious S—te-Houſe! one Man puſhed
him ſo hard that he tumbled on his Face, and a Number of Perſons determined
to run over him, and trample him to Death; but the General, who was with him,
drew his Sword, and ſwore the firſt who ad<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vanced ſhould die on Point of
<hi>Fox.</hi>

               <pb n="126" facs="tcp:0095100802:133"/>No body ventured to encounter a
<hi>Ch—ll,</hi> ſo the Prime M—ſter eſcaped.

Ah! ſaid I, that was God's Mercy, and ten Thouſand Pities!
Faith, ſaid he, and ſo it was.

Mr. <hi>Rooke</hi> now began to be a little in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quiſitive, who I
was? I told him my Name was <hi>Meade,</hi> for by that I always went in
<hi>London</hi>; ſo that the numerous Stories of Mrs. <hi>P—n</hi>'s
being in Ta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verns, Bagnio's, <hi>&c.</hi> which my Huſband ſays be can
prove, (<hi>Mem.</hi> he lyes) never appertained to me; but to his own
C—ſin <hi>N—y P—n,</hi> whoſe Father lives in
<hi>Pill-Lane,</hi>—and who is herſelf as common a Proſtitute as ever
traverſed the Hundreds of <hi>Drury.</hi>

I do this to convince him I ſcorn to rob any of his
illuſtrious Family of their noble Atchievements, and, according to the old
Proverb, '<hi>Tis but proper to ſet the Saddle on the right Horſe,</hi> or
rather Mare, for I think ſhe much reſembles one.

But to return.

               <pb n="127" facs="tcp:0095100802:134"/>Mr. <hi>Rooke</hi> aſked me, if I was
related to Capt. <hi>Meade?</hi> I told him, he was my Uncle's Son: He ſaid,
he was a worthy little Fellow; that he knew him very well, and had made him his
Confidant in his Amour with his Lady.

Time ſtole inſenſibly away with ſuch agreeable
Amuſement; we ſat till the ſmall Hours without Drowſineſs, nor did we
de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſire the Aid of <hi>Bacchus</hi> to keep up our Spirits.

I humbly hope no body will attempt to decypher my Initials; for I
do aſſure them, the great <hi>M—</hi> is an innocent Letter, and does
not like <hi>Mitching, Mal<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>licho,</hi> mean Miſchief.

I told Mr. <hi>Rooke,</hi> I was going to pub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liſh a Book by
Subſcription; he ſaid, he was ſure it muſt be good, ſo he gave me a
Guinea, and promiſed to uſe his Intereſt for me.

He told me, he would come and viſit me the firſt Hour he had
to ſpare: I an<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>wered, I hoped he would ſoon find one: Well then, ſaid he,
I'll tell you how I paſs the Day, and do you find one.

               <pb n="128" facs="tcp:0095100802:135"/>I riſe about Nine, drink Coffee, not that
I like it, but that it gives a Man the Air of a Politician; for the ſame
Reaſon, al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ways read the News;—then I dreſs, and about Twelve, go to
the <hi>Cocoa-Tree,</hi> where I talk Treaſon; from thence to St.
<hi>James</hi>'s Coffee-Houſe, where I praiſe the Miniſtry; then to
<hi>White</hi>'s, where I talk Gallantry; ſo by Three I return Home to
Dinner; after that, I read about an Hour, and digeſt the Book and the Dinner
to<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gether;—then I go the Opera or Play, <hi>Vaux-Hall</hi> or
<hi>Ranelagh,</hi> according to the Seaſon of the Year; from thence Home to
Supper, and about Twelve to Bed.

I ſmiled at the Gentleman's whimſical Deſcription of his
paſſing the Day, and told him he had, by his own Account, three or four
Hours to beſtow on me, as the Hour he talked Treaſon, the Hour he was
loyal, or the Hour in which he read;
<q rend="inline">"Ay, ſaid he, very gaily, or what think you of
the laſt Flour, wherein I go to Bed?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Oh, Sir, you are ſo much better enga<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ged, it
would not only be Wickedneſs, but Folly alſo, to think of that at
all."</q>

               <pb n="129" facs="tcp:0095100802:136"/>Well, depend on it, ſaid he, I'll ſee
you to<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>morrow; ſo we took Leave forever, for the very firſt News I heard
next Morning, was, that Mr. <hi>Rooke,</hi> a little while after he aroſe,
fell down in an Apoplectic Fit, and inſtantly expired.

I never was more ſhocked than at his untimely Fate; Heavens! all
Wit, Life, and Gaiety at Night, and dead in the Morning! I wept for him as a
Friend, and ſuch, I am ſure, he would have been to me, had he lived. I
found, by theſe two me<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lancholy Events, there was nothing ſerious in
Mortality; all was but Toys! I frequently recollected Dr. <hi>Delany</hi>'s
beautiful Lines on ſeeing himſelf in the Glaſs:
<q>
                  <l>When I revolve this evaneſcent State</l>
                  <l>Of ſhort Duration, and uncertain Date;</l>
                  <l>My Being, and my Stay dependent ſtill,</l>
                  <l>Not on my own, but on another's Will;</l>
                  <l>I aſk myſelf as I my Form review,</l>
                  <l>Which is the real Shadow of the two?</l>
               </q>

Mrs. <hi>Ryves</hi> was alſo much touched for the Loſs of this
Gentleman, and, indeed, <pb n="130" facs="tcp:0095100802:137"/> ſo was every body who knew
him. She and I went one Afternoon to walk in <hi>St. James</hi>'s
<hi>Park,</hi> but finding myſelf weary, ſhe propoſed going to a
Phyſician's Houſe in <hi>Weſtminſter,</hi> a Widower, and her
Rela<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, where we could get a Diſh of Tea, and reſt ourſelves; I
agreed; the Doctor was at Home, and a very polite Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man; I found by the
Furniture of the Room, he was a <hi>Virtuoſo,</hi> it being adorned with
Books, Medals, Paintings, dried Butterflies, and Tomes of Caſuiſtry.

The Dean mentions it as a Praiſe to <hi>Vaneſſa,</hi> that
<q>
                  <l>She, witb Addreſs, each Genius held</l>
                  <l>To that wherein they moſt excell'd;</l>
                  <l>So making others Wiſdom known,</l>
                  <l>She pleas'd them, and improv'd her own.</l>
               </q> For no
ſooner did the Doctor perceive that I knew <hi>Mark Anthony</hi> from
<hi>Julius Caeſar,</hi> and <hi>Brutus</hi> from both, but he related a great
Part of the <hi>Roman</hi> Hiſtory to me, even from the firſt
<hi>Punic</hi> War to the Death of <hi>Julius.</hi>

               <pb n="131" facs="tcp:0095100802:138"/>My Readers may venture to believe it was not
new to me, who had from my Childhood been, if I may uſe the Word, a perfect
Devourer of Books; and I found them both ſweet to the Palate, and
nou<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>riſhing Food to the Mind.

It has been obſerved, as a Piece of re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fined Policy in
<hi>Gondamore</hi> the <hi>Spaniard,</hi> that he uſed to talk bad
<hi>Latin</hi> to King <hi>James</hi> I. who being a Pedant rather than a
Prince, had ſo much Pleaſure in, as he thought, ſetting this
<hi>Machiavel</hi> right, that, to oblige his Pupil, he complimented him with
the Head of that learned and brave Man Sir <hi>Walter Raleigh.</hi>

I have often ſucceſsfully practiſed the ſame Art, and
gained many Friends by ſeeming to take their Inſtruction with Pleaſure;
to acknowledge their Superiority of Underſtanding, on which even Fools pride
themſelves, is, I believe the moſt delicate way of flattering ever yet
thought of, as <hi>Caſſius</hi> ſays of <hi>Caeſar,</hi>
               <q>
                  <l>And when I tell him, he hates Flattery,</l>
                  <l>He ſays he does, being then moſt flattered.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="132" facs="tcp:0095100802:139"/> Very few People are Virtue Proof there, all, like
<hi>Achilles,</hi> have a mortal Heel, and though
<q>
                  <l>'Tis an old Maxim in the Schools,</l>
                  <l>That Flattery's the Food of Fools;</l>
                  <l>Yet, now and then, your Men of Wit</l>
                  <l>Will condeſcend to taſte a Bit.</l>
                  <bibl>Swift.</bibl>
               </q>

I found the good Doctor fallible here, to my great Happineſs, as
it made him my Friend; and, under God, his Skill and Care ſoon after ſaved
my Life.

The Gentleman made us ſtay to Supper, finding when the Wind was
in one particu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lar Point, I was as wiſe as <hi>Hamlet,</hi> and knew a Hawk
from a Handſaw.

At Supper I told him, I was an <hi>Amicus,</hi> a-kin to the
Faculty, being a Phyſician's Daughter, upon which he aroſe, and ſaid he
muſt ſalute his Niece; and, that if ever I ſhould fall ſick, he claimed
the Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour of attending me. We ſtayed toge<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther till Twelve very chearfully,
and then parted in Peace.

               <pb n="133" facs="tcp:0095100802:140"/>I have obſerved, if my Life had any
Sunſhine, it was but a faint and watery Gleam, too ſoon overcaſt, for, in
a very few Days, I was ſeized with a violent Fe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ver; it took me with cold
ſhivering Fits, and remembering the Doctor's Claim, I ſent for him. He had
me bled, and ordered me to go to Bed; I did not ſee him till next Morning, by
which time I was quite light-headed, and crying out for my Chil<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dren; when the
Doctor came, I told him he had ſtolen them from me, and carried them to Mr.
<hi>P—n</hi>; on this he opened my Boſom, for which I alſo
quarrelled, and ſaid he was a very impudent Fellow; he, ſmiling, ſaid, I
had a very fair Skin, but that he was under a Neceſſity of making free with
it, otherwiſe he could not anſwer for my Life; and as, it ſeems, it was
full of purple Spots, he ordered a large Bliſter for my Back, and one for
each Arm; what paſt for ſome Days, in which, they were renewed, I know not,
being quite inſenſible even to Pain; but when the Fever abated, and
Reaſon once <pb n="134" facs="tcp:0095100802:141"/> more reaſſumed her Throne, what Frail
Machines are we, when Sickneſs can diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>place her? They aſſured me, I
raved in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceſſantly for my dear little Ones, and fell into ſuch Fits of
Crying and Lamentation for them, that it put them in Mind of <hi>Rachel</hi>
mourning for the Loſs of her Chil<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dren, who refuſed to be comforted,
be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cauſe they were not.

So, as it has been often obſerved, that there is Truth in Wine,
I found there was Truth in Madneſs, the Cauſe that hurts the Brain, or the
reigning Paſſion of the Soul then manifeſts itſelf, and as my Be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>loved
were evermore preſent to my Ima<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gination, it was no Wonder that their Names
dwelt ever on my Tongue.

When theſe Things were told me, I, as one newly awakened from
Sleep, remem<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bered ſome wild, disjointed, incoherent Ideas, which had
poſſeſſed my Soul, even during it's lethargic State; ſuch as, that
Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> was going to offer ſome violent Injury to our
Children, but of what Kind I knew not, it was fled, like the Remembrance of a
Gueſt which tarrieth <pb n="135" facs="tcp:0095100802:142"/> but a Day. I might have as well
have endeavoured to find out the Path which the light Bird had with his Wings
beat in the buxom Air, or the Track of a Ship, when with it's crooked Keel, it
divides the briny Waves which immediately unite again; or ſeize old
<hi>Time,</hi> and bid him bring me back one Moment paſt, as hope to
recollect what, was for ever loſt in Oblivion.

Indeed I have frequently had theſe ſu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pernatural Sollicitings,
or a Kind of Indi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cation of whatever was to befal me before it happened: Nay,
what is more ſurpri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>zing, I have read a Hiſtory, to me quite new, and it
has occurred to me, that I myſelf had been ſome way principally concerned
in the moſt material Tranſactions of it, tho' they were paſt a thouſand
Years.

Had I lived in the Days of <hi>Pythagoras,</hi> I believe I
ſhould have been of his Opi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nion, and have imagined,
<q>
                  <l>That all Things are but altered; nothing dies,</l>
                  <l>And here and there th' unbody'd Spirit flies.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="136" facs="tcp:0095100802:143"/> Nay, I ſhould have been afraid to kill a Woodcock,
leſt I ſhould diſinherit the Soul of my Grand-dame.

If my Reader thinks me whimſical, let him judge by the
Event.

A Woman, (in whoſe Garden I had once walked in <hi>Ireland)</hi>
the firſt Day I was able to ſit up, and very weak I was after ſo long
Sickneſs, even while my kind Phyſician was rubbing my Temples with
<hi>Hungary</hi> Water to recover me out of a fainting Fit, ruſhed into the
Room, and, without the leaſt Ceremony, cried out,
<q rend="inline">"Do you know what that Villain has done?"</q> As I
neither knew her, nor who ſhe ſpoke of, I was quite ſtartled, and aſked
her, who ſhe talked about, or what ſhe meant?
<q rend="inline">"That Villain <hi>P—n,</hi> ſays ſhe,
who has ſold your two younger Children for Slaves to <hi>New York:</hi>"</q>
This was ſuch a monſtrous Crime I could ſcarce give any Credit to it;
for, even admit<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ting what he had ſo cruelly charged me with in Regard to his
Bed, was Truth, how had their helpleſs Innocence offended
<pb n="137" facs="tcp:0095100802:144"/> him? I obſerved to the Doctor, my Ra<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vings were
ominous, and portended ſome dire Calamity.

The Doctor, apprehending this Shock might make me relapſe,
begged of the Perſon who gave it, to retire; which, after ſeveral
Aſſeverations, that what ſhe ſaid was Fact, as indeed it was, and that
ſhe had brought it out in that Manner to haſte me, if poſſible, to
prevent their un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>happy Fate, ſhe did.

As the Doctor was not only a Man of excellent Underſtanding, but
alſo of great Humanity, I told him, as he had been ſo kind to adminiſter
to the Health of my Body, he muſt now, if poſſible, adminiſter to a
Mind diſeaſed; and as it was impoſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſible for him to preſcribe
Remedies with<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>out knowing the Diſtemper, and it's Ori<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ginal, I gave him my
Story in a few Words, and he adviſed me to write to <hi>Ireland,</hi> to the
Rulers, and Biſhops, which I did that very Night; and, pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>videntially, the
Letters were delivered Time enough to prevent the Children being ſold to
Slavery—the Affair was <pb n="138" facs="tcp:0095100802:145"/> enquired into, and Mr.
<hi>P—n</hi> was obliged to refund to the Maſter of the Kid-Ship, the
Golden Earneſt he had received as the Price of the Innocent.

What to me was moſt ſurprizing, was, that Mr.
<hi>P—n</hi>'s Mother was one of the Contrivers of this infernal Plot;
Grand<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mothers being uſually more indulgent to their Grandchildren than even
their Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thers; but as ſhe who would have made a Prey of them is not long
ſince dead, even of the Diſeaſe that <hi>Herod, Peter the Cruel,</hi> and
other malignant Wretches fell by, I can only bid her adieu, and chari<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tably
hope ſhe has eſcaped the Judgment of the next World, as it fell on her in
this.

Theſe Facts are ſo publickly known, that for the Evidence of
them I could pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>duce even a Cloud of Witneſſes, were it neceſſary.

And yet, who that beheld this Man, clad in holy Veſture at the
Altar, appear<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing like white-robed Innocence, with Eyes up-turned to Heaven,
could believe him capable of all Manner of Crimes;
<q>
                  <pb n="139" facs="tcp:0095100802:146"/>
                  <l>Perjury, Perjury in the higheſt Degree!</l>
                  <l>Cruelty, Cruelty in the ſterneſt Degree.</l>
               </q> He may,
indeed, like <hi>Richard</hi> III. prove himſelf by theſe to be a Man; who,
when his Mother upbraids him with his mani<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fold Acts of ſavage Tyranny, ſhe
ſays,
<q>
                  <l>No Beaſt ſo fierce, but knows ſome Touch of Pity.</l>
                  <l>
                     <hi>Rich.</hi> But I know none, and therefore am no
Beaſt.</l>
               </q>

And, indeed Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> may again ſay with him, that
he has nothing
<q>
                  <lg>
                     <l>But the plain Devil, and diſſembling Looks</l>
                     <l>To back his Cauſe.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>Oh that <hi>Ithuriel</hi>'s heav'nly temper'd Spear</l>
                     <l>Would make the Fiend in his own Shape appear,</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>
               <pb n="140" facs="tcp:0095100802:147"/> Or pluck the holy Furr from off
his Back, and let the World, for once ſee what the Inſide of a wicked
Prieſt is made of.

As I received no Account from <hi>Ireland,</hi> I knew not what to
think; ſometimes I flattered myſelf that the Woman had be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lied him; at
other Times, reflecting on his intolerable Barbarity to the poor Crea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tures,
whom Diſtreſs alone made me leave immured within his inhoſpitable Walls,
too rough a Cradle for my pretty Ones! my very Heart died within me, and I am
as well aſſured, as that I live, that it was not the Fear of God, but the
Fear of a Halter, hindered him from embruing his own Hands in their vital
Blood.

But, enough of the Wretch, who, if he can diſprove me, ought to
do it; he attributes his Silence to Contempt of me, but it is well known he
neither wants Wit, nor Words, nor Impudence to bring him off: It is ſtrong
Conviction, with Proof as full and evident as Day againſt him, ties up his
guilty Tongue.

               <pb n="141" facs="tcp:0095100802:148"/>At length, I thought of writing to
<hi>W—rſ—le,</hi> as I had learned he was in <hi>Dublin:</hi> He
wrote me Word, that the Children were all well; that he had given an
Apprentice-Fee with my Daughter to a Milliner, and had taken my youngeſt Son
to himſelf; that old Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> and my Mother were dead, and my
laſt Child, which, being but an Infant, I could not carry to <hi>London</hi>
with me; that he had got a famous oſſified Man, and was going to carry him
to <hi>Paris</hi> for a Shew, to which Place he earneſtly invited me to
accompany him.

I hoped, by this Letter, that Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> had been
wronged, with re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gard to the Children under his Care; and tho' ſome humane
Tears fell for the Loſs of my Mother and my Child, yet, con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſidering how
deſolate they both were, I en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vied rather than deplored their Fate.

The Child, here mentioned, was that which Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>
diſclaimed, and adviſed me to leave upon the Pariſh.

And now I do aſſure my Readers I was alſo ſincerely
ſorry for the Death of old <pb n="142" facs="tcp:0095100802:149"/> Mr. <hi>P—n,</hi>
inaſmuch as he always treated me with a fatherly Tenderneſs, was
exceſſively fond of my Children, was a Man of a great uncultivated Genius;
and, tho' I have mentioned his keeping an Alehouſe, I did not mean it in any
Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>reſpect to his Memory; for he was the Son of a Gentleman, tho', by
various Miſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fortunes, he was reduced to take up ſo low an Occupation; but
nothing can be juſtly deemed ſcandalous which is not diſhoneſt. And, I
am well convinced, had he lived, he never would have conſented to the
in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>human Barbarity of his Son.
<q>
                  <l>Adieu, and take thy Praiſe with thee to Heav'n!</l>
               </q>

So many melancholy Incidents had be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fallen me in this ſolitary
Place, that I de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>termined to change my Lodging; and was recommended by a
Stationer's Wife to a ſingle Gentlewoman who kept a Milliner's Shop in
<hi>Fleet-ſtreet</hi>; ſhe was a jolly likely Dame, of about Forty, very
gay; we liked each other ſo well, that we ſoon <pb n="143" facs="tcp:0095100802:150"/> made
a Bargain, and, for a few Days, I was very well pleaſed with the Change, as
the Variety of that buſy Part of <hi>London</hi> amuſed my Mind: But I
ſoon found that I was got into very bad Hands, and that my new Landlady was
neither better nor worſe than a mercenary Town Jilt; who being pretty well
known herſelf, and conſequently deſpiſed, wanted ſomething new to
produce to her Cuſtomers.

I think I never ſaw any Perſon in my Life who did not
poſſeſs one good Quality, except this Creature; for Woman is a Term too
gentle for her, who had not even Decency to hide her Shame.

To give my Reader a Taſte of her Cleanlineſs: She told me
herſelf ſhe had not combed her Head for three Years, which, I believe, was
true, becauſe ſhe was not Miſtreſs of a Comb, except when ſhe made
free with mine, than which no<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thing could be more offenſive to me, ſo that
her Hair, tho' naturally fine, being quite matted on a filthy Hair-cap,
ſeemed to be a Compoſition of raw Silk and Moſs, ſuch as I remember to
have ſtolen a Lock <pb n="144" facs="tcp:0095100802:151"/> of from the H<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ad of Good Duke <hi>Hum<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>phrey,</hi> at <hi>St.
Albans,</hi> three hundred Years after his Death: Shifts ſhe had two as
yellow as Canvas, but they were ſleeveleſs; no Matter for thar, ſhe
ſold ready-made Cambrick Sleeves, and could eaſily pin on a Pair, for ſhe
never took any farther Trouble about them; I think I muſt for the reſt
refer my Reader to the Lady's Dreſſing-room, for
<q>
                  <l>In ſuch a Caſe few Words are beſt,</l>
                  <l>And <hi>Strephon</hi> bids us gueſs the reſt.</l>
               </q>

I really, 'till I ſaw this Wretch, ima<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gined the Dean had only
muſtered up all the dirty Ideas in the World in one Piece, on Purpoſe to
affront the Fair Sex, as he uſed humorouſly to ſtile old Beggar-women,
and Cinder-Pickers.

This makes me digreſs to relate a Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pliment of his to ſome
Ladies, who ſupped with him, of which I had the Honour to be One: The Dean
was giving us an Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>count of ſome Woman, who, he told us, was the
naſtieſt, filthieſt, moſt ſtinking old <pb n="145" facs="tcp:0095100802:152"/>
B—ch that ever was yet ſeen, except the Company, Ladies! except the
Company! for that you know is but civil. We all bowed; could we do leſs?

From the Time I had the Misfortune of being her Tenant, ſhe
invited every Perſon ſhe had any Acquaintance with to ſee me, as tho' I
had been ſome outlandiſh Monſter, or wonderful Curioſity. Amongſt the
reſt, ſhe prevailed on the now L—d Ch—f J—ſt—ce
<hi>E—e,</hi> then a Stu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dent in <hi>Grays-Inn,</hi> a fine Gentleman,
po<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>etically turned, and ſomewhat too much upon the effeminate or delicate
Order to bear whatever was not quite refined, to venture into her Dining-Room,
where I ſat ſcribbling; I was for retiring, but that was not permitted: The
Gentleman, who was dreſſed in black Velvet, and had the Air of a Perſon
of Diſtinction, ſaid, he hoped as his Viſit was intended entirely to me,
I would not be ſo unkind as to refuſe it.

I ſaid, I did not know how I was enti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tled to ſuch an Honour;
but ſince he was pleaſed to beſtow it on me, I ſhould with Gratitude
accept of it. My Hoſteſs, for <pb n="146" facs="tcp:0095100802:153"/> that Name, by her
Bulk, far above the common Size of Females, ſhe ſeemed to deſerve,
prudently left the Stranger and I to ourſelves, under Pretence that ſhe
muſt at<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tend her Shop. Mr. <hi>E—e,</hi> ſeeing my Table covered with
written Papers, told me, my Room reſembled that of a Law<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>yer, and aſked me
Leave to read my Contemplations; to which I agreeing, he had the Complaiſance
to ſeem entertained; when, to my unſpeakable Confuſion, the Brute
returned, and cried,
<q rend="inline">"What will you treat the Lady with?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">Any thing ſhe chuſes,"</q> returned he, and
ſeemed as much confounded as I was:
<q rend="inline">"Pray, Madam, what do you like?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"No<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thing at preſent, Sir, but what I have
ordered, ſome Coffee;"</q> as it was but Five o'Clock in the Afternoon, and
as the Gentleman was remarkable for Sobriety, he approved of my Taſte: He
offered to pay for it;
<q rend="inline">"I told him, I did not ſell it, and that he
could not more highly ag<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>grieve me."</q>

My Landlady ſent it up, but did not think proper to partake of
our Repaſt, of <pb n="147" facs="tcp:0095100802:154"/> which I was very glad; he looked on me
with Eyes of great Compaſſion, eſpecially as he obſerved the Tears
ſpringing from mine, for indeed I was quite ſhocked; he aſked me how I
became acquainted with a Perſon ſo very unlike myſelf? I told him, I was
a Stranger, and knew very little of her: as he gave Credit to my Words, he
adviſed me to quit her Houſe, aſſuring me ſhe was a Procureſs, and,
as he ſaid, kept a Shop only to diſguiſe her real Occupation.

He had ſcarce finiſhed his friendly Cau<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, when Madam
entered again with two very large Lobſters in one Hand, and a Bottle of Wine
in the other, ſhe laid a very foul Table Cloth, dreſſed her Fiſh, and
invited us to partake; which we refuſing, ſhe eat them all herſelf, drank
the Bottle of Wine, and very modeſtly deſired the Gentleman to pay for
them, to which he acquieſced.

This Scene made us laugh heartily, for ſhe fed with ſuch keen
Diſpatch, and drank ſo often, that ſhe ſeemed like a ſtarved Pierot,
devouring all before her.

               <pb n="148" facs="tcp:0095100802:155"/>Her Rage of Hunger being now, as we hoped,
ſuppreſſed, ſhe once more left us; and Mr. <hi>E—e</hi> ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"I hope you are now convinced, Madam, that, at
leaſt, your Reputation will be un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>done, if you continue here:"</q> I
anſwered,
<q rend="inline">"It was but too true; but that, at pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſent, I
ſaw no Method of Relief, as ſhe owed me Money, which ſhe never was
baſhful in borrowing, by which means I was ill provided to remove, and had
agreed to take it out in Board and Lodging."</q>

Here Madam once more ruſhed in, when, to my great Surprize!
ſhe aſked Mr. <hi>E—e,</hi> would he give her a roaſted Fowl and
Sauſages for Supper? He told her, after ſo plentiful a Meal as ſhe had
juſt made, he was ſure ſhe did but jeſt: She affirmed ſhe was in
earneſt, and that if he would not, there was a Gentleman below that
would.

Mr. <hi>E—e,</hi> who had a Mind to hold more Talk with me,
aſked me, what Part of the Houſe belonged to me? She anſwered, with
matchleſs Impudence, a <pb n="149" facs="tcp:0095100802:156"/> very good Bed-chamber, which
ſhe ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>poſed, we ſhould have no Objection to, as we liked each other
ſo well.

I ſeemed not to take the Meaning of her Speech; and not having
the leaſt Appre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>henſion of any Incivility being offered to me by a Perſon
of good Breeding, and Humanity; I told the Gentleman, he ſhould be very
welcome, if he pleaſed to walk into it,—as it was on the ſame Floor;
he ſaid, I did him great Honour, and that he would wait on me.

However, to avoid the evil Comments which wicked Perſons,
judging others by themſelves, are ever ready to make, I left the Door wide
open, to the no ſmall Mor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tification of my Landlady, and her new Gueſt, as
they were obliged to paſs by it.

And what ſhould he be but ſome drunken Swabber or Boatſwain!
whoſe Tarpaulin Compliments, of which we heard every Word diſtinctly, for
ſome time, diverted us; 'till, at laſt, their Talk became ſo
of<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fenſive, that as I had left the Door open in Point of Decency, I was now
on the ſame Account obliged to ſhut it.

               <pb n="150" facs="tcp:0095100802:157"/>The Gentleman once more urged the
Neceſſity of my Departure from this vil<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lainous Woman; aſſuring me, if
I would but change my Lodging, and ſend a Line to him, with a Direction,
where to find me, he would do every thing in his Power to ſerve
diſtreſſed Merit, as he was pleaſe to term it.

And that nothing might be wanting to enable me to do it, he, in a
very polite Manner, obliged me to accept of two Guineas, as a Subſcription to
my Wri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tings.

This ingenious Gentleman entertained me with the Recital of
ſeveral beautiful poetical Compoſitions of his own, and finding I was not
quite taſteleſs, but, at leaſt, endeavoured to give them due Praiſe, he
ſtayed with me 'till Ten o'Clock, no unſeaſonable Hour, as it was in the
Month of <hi>June</hi>; when, either being hungry himſelf, or willing to
entertain me, he inſiſted on my Permiſſion to ſend to the <hi>Devil
Tavern</hi> for ſome Supper, a Meal I never chuſe, but, in Complaiſance
to my Benefactor, and alſo as a Means of en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gaging <pb n="151" facs="tcp:0095100802:158"/> his
further Converſation, which was truly elegant, I, with ſome Reluc<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tance,
ſubmitted to. Our one Maid be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing gone for the other Bowl of Punch for the
Sailor, the Gentleman went and be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpoke it himſelf.

I could not, in his Abſence, but reflect how much the unhappy
Part of Women diſappoint even their own Ends; for when they throw off the
Appearance of Modeſty, and ſhew the mercenary Proſti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tute unveiled, no
Man of common Under<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtanding can have the leaſt Regard for them; Mr.
<hi>Addiſon</hi> obſerves of ſome Wo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man, who kept a noted Houſe of
civil Reception, that ſhe ſaid, no Girl was fit, even for her, who was
paſt bluſhing. Well ſaid the Dean, in the following Lines:
<q>
                  <l>O Decency, coeleſtial Maid!</l>
                  <l>Deſcend from Heaven to Beauty's Aid;</l>
                  <l>Tho' Beauty may beget D<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                        <desc>•</desc>
                     </gap>ſire,</l>
                  <l>'Tis thou muſt fan the Lover's Fire,</l>
                  <l>To hold him in Deluſion ſtill,</l>
                  <l>And make him fancy what you will.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="152" facs="tcp:0095100802:159"/> And I do aſſure my Reader, I did not forget to
return Thanks to the Almighty, who had enabled me to live by his Gifts to me;
for, ſure I am, that I could raiſe no Money by vile Means;
<q>
                  <l>By Heav'n, I had rather coin my Heart for Gold,</l>
                  <l>And drop my Blood for Drachma's.</l>
                  <bibl>Shakeſpeare.</bibl>
               </q>

Mr. <hi>E—e</hi>'s Return broke off my Contemplation; he had
ordered a ſlight, but elegant Repaſt, with a Flaſk of
<hi>Cham<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>paigne</hi>; we ſupped together with great Pleaſure, and, except
the diſſonant and unharmonious Noiſe made by our Neigh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bours, who were
now got ſo merry, that they did, what they called, ſing; we had no
Interruption, but talked of Hiſtory, Poetry, and every Muſe-like Theme;
called all the mighty Dead before us, re-judged their Acts, commented on the
Works of <hi>Milton, Shakeſpear, Spencer,</hi> and all the <hi>Britiſh</hi>
Claſſics.
<q>
                  <pb n="153" facs="tcp:0095100802:160"/>
                  <l>Refin'd Delight, and fitted to endure!</l>
                  <l>But what can human Happineſs ſecure?</l>
                  <bibl>Delany</bibl>
               </q>

The Star, that uſhers in the roſy Dawn, began to reaſſume
her Empire o'er the Duſk, and drowſy World; the Bell tolled One, a Signal
of Departure to my amiable Gueſt, whoſe kind Injunctions, in regard to my
Removal, I promiſed to obey.

The Maid, whom her Miſtreſs half ſtarved, and though ſhe
was really her Betters, uſed ſo ill, that ſhe down-right hated her, told
me that the Sailor and ſhe were gone to Bed together, both dead drunk.

And yet this Creature would talk of Virtue, nay, go to Church;
but, to ſay the Truth, ſhe only went there to pick up a Gallant.

As I was not in the leaſt ſleepy, I diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſſed the
Servant, and
<q>
                  <pb n="154" facs="tcp:0095100802:161"/>
                  <lg>
                     <l>Revolving in my clouded Soul</l>
                     <l>The various Turns of Things below,</l>
                     <l>Now and then a Sigh I ſtole,</l>
                     <l>And Tears began to flow.</l>
                  </lg>
                  <lg>
                     <l>I open'd the Window, looked at the Moon</l>
                     <l>Riding near her higheſt Noon,</l>
                     <l>Like One, who had been led aſtray</l>
                     <l>Thro' the Heav'ns wide pathleſs Way;</l>
                     <l>And oft, as if her Head ſhe bow'd,</l>
                     <l>Stooping thro' a fleecy Cloud.</l>
                  </lg>
               </q> In ſhort, I was wrapped in a pleaſing Fit of
Melancholy, and had I been in the Country, midſt vernal Airs and Blooms,
ſhould have attuned my rural Minſtrelſy to ſome high Theme; but, alas!
Eaſe and Retirement, thoſe Friends to the Muſe, ever were denied to me,
being in a popu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lous City pent amidſt the buſy Hum of Men, obliged to work
for daily Bread, and often not obtaining even that poor Pittance.

Oh! that I could now retire! that ſome charitable Hand would
beſtow on my poor <pb n="155" facs="tcp:0095100802:162"/> Remains of Life, even but a Clay
Habita<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion in ſome ſequeſtered Scene, where,
<q>
                  <l>On ev'ry Thorn delightful Wiſdom grows,</l>
                  <l>In ev'ry Rill a ſweet Inſtruction flows.</l>
               </q> How happy
ſhould I think myſelf!

My Readers will, I hope, acknow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ledge I deal candidly with them,
when I not only acquaint them with my Actions, but reveal to them even the
inmoſt Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceſſes of my Soul as freely as to Heaven.

At length, remembering that Nature requires a Time of Reſt, I
thought it but meet to indulge the pleaſing Heavi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neſs: or, in plainer
Language, I went to Bed, and enjoyed the Honey-dew of Sleep, 'till it was very
late in the Day.

It ſeems the Maid had, on purpoſe to mortify her Miſtreſs,
told her how genteely Mr. <hi>E—e</hi> had entertained me; which, though
ſhe herſelf had been guilty of ſuch foul Intemperance, and ſwiniſh
Gluttony, raiſed her Indignation to ſuch a Height, <pb n="156" facs="tcp:0095100802:163"/>
that ſhe downright affronted me, telling me, I had no Buſineſs with her
Gallant: Why, ſaid I, ſure you had him all to your<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf, I did not
interfere; for I ſuppoſed ſhe meant honeſt Tar, but, it ſeems, I was
miſtaken, for it was Mr. <hi>E—e,</hi> whom ſhe had ſo politely
diſmiſſed, and whom now ſhe had called a hundred Scrubs; aſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſuring
me, ſhe could never make any thing of him, and really I believed her; and by
what I then ſaw of her Temper, I am certain, had ſhe known he had made me a
Preſent, I ſhould not have eſcaped with<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>out a good Beating.

Well, ſaid ſhe, at laſt, I warrant I had a better Chap than
your fine Beau; (this was ſpeaking pretty plain) my Man gave me a Crown, and
Victuals, and Liquor enough: Now, be ſincere, what did that Mr.
<hi>Maiden</hi> give you? For what, ſaid I, I have nothing to ſell; you who
keep a Shop, and are in the way of Trade, may eaſily diſpoſe of five
Shillings Worth of Goods.

               <pb n="157" facs="tcp:0095100802:164"/>The Wretch knew not what Anſwer to make to
me; to acknowledge herſelf a Proſtitute, as I did not ſeem to think her
one, was too vile, even for her, and to have given but the moſt remote Hint,
that ſhe ſuſpected any evil Correſpondence between Mr.
<hi>E—e</hi> and me, laid her abſolutely at our Mercy.

However, ſhe turned off the Diſcourſe with what Mr.
<hi>Addiſon</hi> terms a Horſe-Laugh, an excellent Expedient to ſupply
the Lack of Brains, and which whoever can ſecure on their Side, are ſure of
Victory; for who can ſtand it, let it be ever ſo in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>judiciouſly
beſtowed?

This I have very lately experienced, when one
<hi>W—dw—rd,</hi> a Player, got the Laugh againſt me, who never
vied with his ſuperior Excellence, only by ſaying,
<q>
                  <l>What, ſhall a Tumbler ſet me thus adrift,</l>
                  <l>I the Succeſſor of immortal <hi>Swift?</hi>
                  </l>
               </q> Oh
that his Words had been true! that he had bequeathed to me the precious Legacy
of his Wit and Learning
<q>
                  <pb n="158" facs="tcp:0095100802:165"/>
                  <l>Or that, when all ſublim'd, he roſe to Heaven,</l>
                  <l>I had inherited his ſacred Mantle;</l>
                  <l>Then midſt the Prophets might I, in Strains</l>
                  <l>Such as delight the Ear of God, pour forth Unfetter'd
Harmony.</l>
               </q>

But to deſcend to this terrene Spot: I dreſt, and wandered
forth in queſt of a new Lodging; not well knowing this Part of the Town, I
paſt through a very clean Court, all inhabited by Jewellers, and juſt
oppoſite to the End of it ſaw on the Window of what they in <hi>London</hi>
call a Twiſt Shop, a Bill up to let the firſt Floor. The Woman of the
Houſe ſhewed me the Apartment; the Furniture was not only new but rich, and
I concluded the Price would be too high for me; but, to my great Surpriſe,
the Woman of the Houſe agreed, not only to furniſh me with Linen, but
alſo with Plate and China for Five Shillings a Week; there was but one
In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>convenience, which was, that there was no Paſſage into the Houſe, but
through the <pb n="159" facs="tcp:0095100802:166"/> Shop, to which, if they did not object, I
had no Cauſe. It ſo fortuned that the Counteſs of <hi>Eſſex</hi>'s
Woman, whom I had known at the Laundreſs's before-men<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tioned, came in, and
gave me ſo high a Character, that we agreed on my taking Poſſeſſion
of my new Apartment the next Day.

I went from this to a Friend's to Dinner, and did not return Home
till Ten at Night; but never in my Life was I more highly provoked; for lo! my
Land<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lady and ſome Fellow or other were in my Bed; the Maid never apprized me
of it, being willing to expoſe her brutal Miſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>treſs to the utmoſt, but
ſhewed me into the Chamber.

I am certain, I was infinitely more aſhamed than ſhe was, for
ſhe called to me to ſit down on the Bed ſide; but I haſtened out, and,
as I could not take up with her Bed, I was obliged to ſit up all Night.

Pretty ſoon in the Morning, a Woman came to ſee me; ſhe and
I packed up my Clothes, called a Porter, and made him carry them to my new
Abode, and, as I <pb n="160" facs="tcp:0095100802:167"/> hoped never to ſee the Wretch again,
I did not bid her Adieu.

My Landlord was a Maſter-Taylor, in very good Circumſtances,
and his Wife a very ſober modeſt Woman.

I paſt a Week over very calmly, when remembering my Promiſe to
Mr. <hi>E—e,</hi> I wrote a Line to him, but, as I did not know what
Street I was in, I enquired of my Landlady, who with very great Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>luctance,
told me, it was <hi>Drury-Lane.</hi> I was extremely concerned at this Piece of
Information, which ſhe obſerved, and, aſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſured me, I might enquire into
her own, and her Huſband's Character; that they had kept their Lodgings
empty, ſooner than let them to any idle Perſon, though they could have had
a good Price for them; and a great deal more to the ſame effect; all which,
though I did moſt ſted<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>faſtly believe, yet I held it no proper Place for
me, of all Perſons in the World, to reſide in.

Women whoſe Characters are unble<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſhed, or, who have their
Huſbands <pb n="161" facs="tcp:0095100802:168"/> with them as Guardians to it, may do a
thouſand Things, which thoſe who have fallen on evil Days, and evil
Tongues, in Prudence muſt avoid.

I did not directly tell my Landlady that I muſt leave her, being
reſolved, if poſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſible, not to remove till I could find a Place where I
could be fixed.

Accordingly, I once more took my Way to <hi>St. James</hi>'s, and
called upon my old Landlady there: Her firſt Floor was let, but the ſecond
being tolerably genteel, we, as we had always been on very friend-Terms, ſoon
made a Bargain for it, and I was to enter on it as ſoon as my Week for the
other was up. The very Air of <hi>St. James</hi>'s always pleaſed me, and
indeed I received ſo many Favours from the Nobili<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ty, that I had juſt
Cauſe to prefer it to any other Part of <hi>London.</hi>

This happened to be ſome public Feſti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>val, which, as I did not
recollect, I ſat with the good old Gentlewoman till Even<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing, when on my
return Home, there was a large Bonfire, and a great Crowd at the
<pb n="162" facs="tcp:0095100802:169"/> Temple-Gate; I ſtopped a little, being ſtar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tled,
and not well knowing how to paſs by, when an old Gentleman very well dreſt,
aſk<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed me where I was going? I told him, which was Truth, I had miſtaken my
Way, being a Stranger: He ſaid, if I'd let him know where I lived, he would
wait on me Home; I was almoſt aſhamed to do it, yet, conſidering they
were creditable Peo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ple where I lodged, I ventured to inform him. My Landlord
happened to be his Taylor, ſo he readily conducted me to his Houſe; the
People ſaluted him, and ask<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed him for his Lady and Family: Why, ſaid he,
this is one of them, ſhe is a near Relation to my Wife. I was ſurprized at
this new Kindred, and could not tell whether the old Gentleman ſpoke Truth or
not, though I could not recollect I had ever ſeen him be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore: yet, as the
Landlord treated him with the higheſt Reſpect, I thought it not con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>venient
to contradict him, ſo I invited him in, and wondered where this would
end!

My Landlady lighted us up to my Din<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing-room; he told her, I had
dined at his <pb n="163" facs="tcp:0095100802:170"/> Houſe, and that after ſo long a Walk I
muſt needs be dry, and therefore deſired her to get him a Bottle of Wine,
and a Plate of <hi>Scotch</hi> Collops from ſome particular Tavern he
directed her to.

As I found the old Gentleman did not ſtick at telling one Lye, I
concluded all he ſaid was falſe, as it really was.

She no ſooner departed, but he aſked me, whether he was not an
able Politician? I ſaid, he was a merry Gentleman, and I hoped as I had the
Honour of being his Couſin, he would let me know who he was, leſt I
ſhould be asked any croſs Queſtions, and our Accounts ſhould vary.

He told me his Name, and where he lived; that he had a
conſiderable Eſtate, and alſo a good Employment under the Government, all
of which did not make him happy, becauſe Heaven had not bleſſed him with
a Child.

He then asked me who I was? for he ſaid, he was ſure I had had
a good Edu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cation. As I had no reaſon to doubt of his Sincerity, I told him
my Story, with which he ſeemed much affected; and in <pb n="164" facs="tcp:0095100802:171"/>
Concluſion, I aſſured him, I was more un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>happy in having Children, from
whom, in all probability, I was for ever ſeparated, than he could be, who
never had one.

Here my Landlady brought in Supper, to which he invited her to
ſtay; our Con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verſation turned on general Topics; it grew pretty late, when
to my great Aſtoniſh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment, the Gentleman ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Couſin, I think you told me, you wanted Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ney,
I have a good deal of your's in my Hands, though not much about me at
preſent; however, here are a couple of Guineas, when you want Fifty you know
where to come."</q> Would I did, thought I, but it was no time for me to
refuſe them.

When he went away, I knew not what to think of this odd Adventure,
ſometimes I fancied it was a Dream, and dreaded to wake leſt the Gold
ſhould vaniſh; then I began to flatter myſelf, that perhaps ſome
Relation had left me a Legacy; but hav<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing never ſince my Diſtreſs,
received the ſmalleſt Favour from one of them, I could hardly hope they
ſhould now feel any com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>punctuous <pb n="165" facs="tcp:0095100802:172"/> Viſitings of
Nature, who were all to me, remorſeleſs as the Sea.

In ſhort, the more I thought, the more I was perplexed, and
could only humbly hope, that the protecting Hand of him who
<q>
                  <l>—Doth the Raven feed,</l>
                  <l>Yea, providentially catereth for the Spar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>row,</l>
                  <l>Aſſiſted me to live for ſome good End,</l>
                  <l>Beſt to his Wiſdom known.</l>
               </q> So recommending myſelf
to his paternal Care, who had Compaſſion on my Sor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rows, I went to my
Repoſe.

Early next Morning the Woman of the Houſe told me, there was a
Lady wait<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing for me in the Dining-room; ſo I aroſe, and who ſhould it
be, but my late odious Landlady!

My Reader may judge how welcome ſhe was. She told me there was a
Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>woman waiting for me at her Houſe, who had Buſineſs of the
utmoſt Conſequence, and very much to my Advantage to im<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>part
<pb n="166" facs="tcp:0095100802:173"/> to me: Though I ſcarce gave Credit to her, yet
Curioſity made me accompany her Home, where I beheld a marvellous
ill-favoured old Woman; her Chin, which had on it a comely black Beard,
almoſt met her Noſe, there not being a Tooth in the Way to bar their Union.
I am ſure, had <hi>Don Quixote</hi> ſeen her, he would have endeavoured to
diſenchant her Muſtachio's. Her Eyes were black and fierce, her Back nobly
prominent, her Dreſs tawdry, and take her for all in all, I hope I never
ſhall look upon her Like again. I was doubtful whether it was not a Man in
Woman's Clothes; but if it were a Crea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ture of the Feminine Gender, I concluded
it muſt be a Witch, and that the Study of the Black Art had made her ſo
hairy about the Face, that ſhe had need of a Barber. But to proceed: She
accoſted me very ci<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>villy, in a deep <hi>Connaught</hi> Brogue, told me ſhe
knew all my good Family, and lived in the ſame Pariſh with me in
<hi>Dublin</hi>; I ſoon grew tired of her fulſome Flattery to me and them,
and deſired to know her Commands; ſhe told me my Lord
<hi>G—l<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>w—y</hi>
               <pb n="167" facs="tcp:0095100802:174"/> had a great Regard for my
Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther, and was very deſirous of ſeeing me,—and would be a Friend to
me: and if I would dine with her next Day, he would meet me: I now began to
gueſs at my Lady's Occupation, and gave her a point blank Denial; not but
that I ſhould have been glad to ſee his Lordſhip, as I knew he had a
Regard for my Father; but a Woman muſt appear in a comtemptible Light, when
introduced to a Nobleman by one of the Devil's Agents. So I left Madam to her
Meditations, and departed, to her no ſmall Diſcomfort, for it was a gol<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>den
Guinea out of her Way; as it ſeems, my Lord's Price was two, one of which he
preſented to Madam Procureſs, and the other to the Lady who granted him a
Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vour.

This infernal Embaſſadreſs had taken on her the Name of
<hi>Cunningham,</hi> being, as ſhe ſaid, ruined by a Gentleman of that
Name, who had recommended her to ſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>veral of the <hi>Iriſh</hi> Noblemen,
as a very neceſſary Perſon. Oh how deteſtable it is
<pb n="168" facs="tcp:0095100802:175"/> to feed a Maw, or clothe a Back by ſuch a filthy
Vice!

Well, at the appointed Time, I re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turned to <hi>St. James</hi>'s,
and the firſt Day I was there, I was honoured with a Letter from Lord
<hi>G—lw—y,</hi> as follows;
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <opener>
                        <salute>MADAM,</salute>
                     </opener>

I Thought I had had the Honour of be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing known to you, but
find I have been impoſed upon; if you will permit me to pay my Reſpects to
you this Evening, I will unfold this Myſtery to you, and am very
ſincerely,

                     <closer>
                        <salute>Madam,</salute>
                        <signed>Your moſt obedient Servant, G.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

I returned my Compliments to his Lord<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſhip, and gladly excepted
of the Honour of his Company.

About Six he came, and related to me the Trick Mrs.
<hi>Cunningham</hi> had put on <pb n="169" facs="tcp:0095100802:176"/> him; he told me, he had
employed her to find me out, having a Curioſity to ſee a Perſon he had
ſo often heard of, both at <hi>White</hi>'s and in <hi>Ireland</hi>; that the
Appoint<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment was made, and a Lady introduced to him, whom by his Deſcription
of her, I knew to be the odious Mrs. <hi>Smith,</hi> my ſhocking
Landlady;—he ſaid he was much diſappointed when he ſaw her, but the
Lady was very kind; nay, ſo kind that he could not reſiſt her.

As you ſtood at your Window this Morning, Colonel
<hi>D—ne—be</hi> aſked me, knowing I was one of the
Commiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſioners of <hi>Ireland,</hi> whether I knew you? I anſwered,
no:—Why, ſaid he, that is a little <hi>Iriſh</hi> Muſe, a
Phyſician's Daugh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter, and a Parſon's Wife, an eloped one I have been told,
but ſhe won't confeſs that; on this I aſked your Name, the Colonel ſaid
it was <hi>Pilkington,</hi> but you were uſually called Mrs. <hi>Meade</hi>;
I then found I had been deceived, and wrote immediately to you.

I told his Lordſhip, I had the Honour of having many
Repreſentatives, which <pb n="170" facs="tcp:0095100802:177"/> had been of very great
Diſadvantage to my Character, inaſmuch as they were pretty liberal of their
Favours, which were placed to my Account, though I knew nothing of the Matter:
My Lord ſaid, that was hard; but he hoped, now he had found the real Mrs.
<hi>Pilkington,</hi> ſhe would not be inexorable. To turn off this Sort of
Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>courſe, I talked of public Affairs, which put my Lord in the Head of
making me pacquet Commiſſioner <hi>Th—mpſ—n,</hi> then
Candidate in the Election for the City of <hi>Y—rk,</hi> with old
<hi>Engliſh</hi> Rhymes, after the Manner of Mother <hi>Shipton</hi>'s
Pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>phecies, to inform him of the Defeat he was to meet with in that Year. I
had the good Fortune to divert him with my co<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mical Stuff ſo well, that he
left me a Task, which was to tranſlate a <hi>French Chanſon à
boire</hi>; he gave me a couple of Guineas, and promiſing to be a frequent
Viſitor, he took his Leave.

I do aſſure my Readers, I was very glad to be retained as his
Lordſhip's Muſe and Secretary,—an Employment both of Honour and
Profit.

               <pb n="171" facs="tcp:0095100802:178"/>I continued in Favour ſome Time; and we
bantered half the Nobility, either about their Love-Intrigues or Parliamentary
Af<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fairs, all of which were well known to his Lordſhip, who honoured me with
his Con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fidence and Inſtruction.

But as all Happineſs fades away, an un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>foreſeen Accident
blaſted mine.

My Lord was ſeized with a Fever, which confined him ſome Days;
the firſt Time he was able to go Abroad, he wrote me Word he would paſs the
Evening with me. About his appointed Hour, ſomebody tapped at the Dining-room
Door, which I opened; when, inſtead of my Lord, en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tered Colonel
<hi>D—nc—be</hi> and Mr. <hi>Sp—nc—r,</hi> whom the
Colonel pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſented to me, and made his <hi>Exit.</hi>

This Nobleman was no more like his Brother than I to
<hi>Hercules,</hi>—for the firſt Thing he did was to double-lock the
Door, put the Key in his Pocket, and by main Strength oblige me to ſit on his
Knee. I told him I expected Lord <hi>G—l<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>w—y,</hi> but that had no
Effect, for he ſwore he ſhould not have Admittance; he
<pb n="172" facs="tcp:0095100802:179"/> ſaid he was as well entitled to a Lady's Favour as any
Lord: It was to no Purpoſe for me to aſſure him, my Lord never aſked
any but what were conſiſtent with Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour: He gave no Credit to my Words,
and ſeeing he had ſet me weeping, he ſaid, my Lord was very happy in my
Love, but that he was not worthy of it, being an Inconſtant; but as for me,
added he, I do not come to pay you one Viſit, but to make you mine for ever,
to raiſe ſuch Me<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rit above Diſtreſs, and to make you as happy as I
can.

Sir, returned I, your Goodneſs deſerves my Acknowledgment, but
your Meaning ſeems doubtful; on what Terms am I to receive thoſe
Advantages? On the eaſieſt and ſweeteſt in the World, ſaid he, give
me your Love in return, it is all I wiſh; and running on with Lord
<hi>Haſtings</hi>'s Speech in his Midnight Viſit to poor <hi>Jane
Shore,</hi> he cried,
<q>
                  <l>Be kind, my charming Miſtreſs, to my Wiſhes,</l>
                  <l>And ſatisfy my panting Heart with Beauty!</l>
               </q>

               <pb n="173" facs="tcp:0095100802:180"/>It was in vain for me to remonſtrate that
he had a fine young Lady of his own; that I was not worth the Pains he took;
that I was not handſome: He ſaid, I pleaſed him, and that to him was
Beauty, which he was reſolutely determined to poſſeſs, if not by
Conſent, he would make uſe of Force.

And truly the Gentleman would ſoon have convinced me he was the
ſtronger, had not Lord <hi>G—lw—y</hi> knocked at the Door; he
ſwore I ſhould not open it: My Lord called to me, and ſaid he would break
the Door open. I begged of Mr. <hi>Sp—nc—r</hi> to permit me to let
him in, and that if he would ſtay a Moment, I would frame ſome handſome
Excuſe to diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſs him.

He gave me the Key and went into the Bed-chamber; I opened the
Door for Lord <hi>G—lw—y,</hi> who brought with him the Earl of
<hi>M—dd—x,</hi> a fine Gentleman; Lord <hi>G—lw—y</hi>
was either very angry, or affected to appear ſo; and really I knew not what
Apology to <pb n="174" facs="tcp:0095100802:181"/> make, only to ſay I had been aſleep. The
Noblemen ſeated themſelves, to the no ſmall Vexation of Mr.
<hi>Sp—nc—r.</hi> Lord <hi>G—lw—y</hi> asked me who was
in the Bed-chamber? I ſaid, Nobody;—well, Madam, ſaid he, I know you
are a Lady of Veracity, but for once I preſume to doubt it; ſo ſaying, he
made to the Door, which ſtood open, and Mr. <hi>Sp—nc—r</hi>
clapped it in his Face, doubled-locked it within-ſide, and to my great
Happineſs, went out of another Door down Stairs; this I was very glad of,
be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing apprehenſive of a Quarrel.—Lord <hi>G—lw—y</hi> was
in a violent Paſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion, and inſiſted on my telling him what Fellow, as
he called him, affronted him? So to ſatisfy him, I very ingenuouſly told
him the whole Story, to the infinite Mirth of Lord <hi>M—dd—x,</hi>
who, I thought, would have died with Laughter, for amongſt other Accidents, I
had, in the Fray, loſt a little <hi>Paris</hi> Cap I wore, and as my Hair was
very thick, never miſſed it.

But whatever I could ſay, would by no Means pacify Lord
<hi>G—lw—y</hi>; he <pb n="175" facs="tcp:0095100802:182"/> called me twenty
ungrateful Devils and Jilts, and I know not what, which ſur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>prized me the
more, as I never in my Life imagined he loved me, and conſequently could not
form any Idea of his being jea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lous; but I ſuppoſe, his Pride was piqued at
being locked out, which was the real Cauſe of his Reſentment.

Lord <hi>M—dd—x</hi> in vain pleaded my Cauſe, till
at laſt, an odd Whim of his turned our Tragedy to a Farce.

Lord <hi>M—dd—x,</hi> it ſeems, liked an
<hi>Italian</hi> Singer, on whom Lord <hi>R—y<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>m—d,</hi> a very
ſmall Gentleman, with a Mind in Proportion to his diminutive Fi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gure, had
wrote a very ſtupid Satire; he begged of me to write a Love-Letter to him,
for he was, it ſeems, a Man of Gal<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lantry, and his Anſwer I was to
commu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nicate at <hi>White</hi>'s.

As I was a perfect Stranger to his Cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>racter, the Nobleman
dictated a fine En<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>comium on his Learning, Wit, Poetry, Beauty,
<hi>&c.</hi> all of which united, had, it ſeems, made a Conqueſt of me,
unheard, unſeen, and made me extremely ambitious <pb n="176" facs="tcp:0095100802:183"/> of
being known to ſo accompliſhed a No<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bleman; we alſo gave him ſome
Poetry, and a Direction where to find his moſt enamoured Nymph. This done,
the Letter was diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>patched away to <hi>Bond-ſtreet,</hi> and the
Meſſenger brought Word I ſhould have an Anſwer in the Morning.

I know whoever reads this, may very poſſibly cenſure me; but
all who are de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pendant on the Favours of the Great, muſt comply with their
Whimſies; it is enough, if we are ſo conſcientious as not to be made a
Slave to their Vices, as <hi>R—b—t N—g—t,</hi>
               Eſq civilly asked me to be.

Now, as I have mentioned this Fellow, for ſuch is the Term his
Behaviour to me merits, who am in this, in the ſame Mind with
<hi>Pope</hi>
               <note n="*" place="bottom">I do not mean a Fellow of T. C.
D.</note>, That
<q>
                  <l>Worth makes the Man, and want of it the Fellow;</l>
                  <l>The reſt is all but Leather and Prunella.</l>
               </q> I hope my
Reader will allow me to give them a ſhort Sketch of him, with Regard
<pb n="177" facs="tcp:0095100802:184"/> to me, and alſo, of the Mortification I had the
Happineſs of giving him.

My Father attended his firſt Wife, Lady <hi>E—ll—a
P—k—t,</hi> and, I had, I believe, paſſed twenty Evenings in
his Company in <hi>Dublin</hi>; he had publiſhed a Poem, written by the Rev.
Mr. <hi>Sterling,</hi> called <hi>Happineſs,</hi> as his own, and another on
his Converſion from <hi>Popery,</hi> inſcribed to <hi>W—m
P—y,</hi> now Earl of <hi>B—h,</hi> to whoſe Piety he was
indebted for his being drawn out of Error. This gave me a fine Opportunity of
paying him a Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pliment, which I ſent to <hi>White</hi>'s; he ſent me Word
he would wait on me that Eve<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ning; accordingly he came.

After his firſt Salutation, he very po<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>litely aſked me, if I
could help him to a W—, telling me, he had married an ugly old Devil for
Money, whom he hated, and wanted a Girl to take into Keeping, which he depended
on my Skill to chuſe for him: I thanked him for the honourable Employment he
recommended to me, but aſſured him, it was not in my Power to ſerve him,
as I never converſed <pb n="178" facs="tcp:0095100802:185"/> with Women. He told me, he would
not be a Friend to me on any other Terms; I ſaid, I was ſorry for it, ſo
making him a Reverence, I left the Room. He ſtayed in it ſome Time, hoping,
I ſuppoſe, I was gone of his Errand, but finding I did not return, he went
away; but to do him Juſtice, he left Half a Gui<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nea on the Table, as a
Recompence for the Affront he had given me.

He wanted, it ſeems, to be admitted as a Member of the Club at
<hi>White</hi>'s; their Way of Election is by ballotting, and one black Bean is
ſufficient to overturn any Man's Pretenſion to that Honour. I told my Story
ſo effectually, that they all con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cluded him unfit for Society, and as many
Friends as he imagined he had amongſt three hundred Nobles, and, as vaſt a
For<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tune as his Wife had brought him, he had but one white Bean in the whole
Draught.

However, I return him Thanks for his Ten and Sixpence, to ſhew
my Gratitude.

But, to return to my little Lord <hi>R—ym—d.</hi>
Early next Morning, as I was drinking Tea, his Valet de Chambre
<pb n="179" facs="tcp:0095100802:186"/> ſaid he muſt ſpeak to me. I deſired he might
come in; he was a <hi>Frenchman,</hi> who, contrary to the reſt of his
Country, was as booriſh as an <hi>Engliſh</hi> Farmer; he threw down a
Letter on the Table,
<q rend="inline">"Dere, my Lord ſend a you dat;"</q> I opened it,
and read as follows:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <opener>
                        <salute>MADAM,</salute>
                     </opener>

BY your Stile you ought to be a Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tlewoman; but I have met
with Things of this Kind, which did not an<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſwer Expectation; I have ſent my
Man to ſee you, whom I always truſt, and ſo may you; if he likes you, and
you will come where I appoint, (for I never venture to viſit any Woman) I
will meet you.

                     <closer>I am,
<salute>MADAM,</salute>
                        <signed>Your's, R—YM—D.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

               <pb n="180" facs="tcp:0095100802:187"/>While I was peruſing this gallant
Epiſtle, the <hi>Frenchman</hi> looked ſharp about; he even opened the
Corner Cup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>board; then he demanded of me what did I want with his Lorde? I
could not reſiſt my Inclination to laugh, at which he grew choleric, and
ſwore, Garzoon, he ſhould never come; which, I being quite eaſy about, he
went away muttering ſome<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thing.

I ſent his Letter, which was wrote in a very bad Hand, and
almoſt every Word miſ-ſpelt, to Lord <hi>M—dd—x,</hi> who
ſhewed it to the Company at <hi>White</hi>'s, on whom it took the ſame
Effect it had done on me, for they all laughed heartily at
<hi>Jack-a-Dandy,</hi> a Nick-name Lord <hi>M—x</hi> had beſtowed on
him.

Theſe two merry Noblemen, who had ſet me on this Scheme, would
fain have prevailed on me to ſend another Letter to <hi>Jack-a-Dandy,</hi>
but I told them, I did not approve of a Man, governed by his Man, and one who
ſeemed to be a Coward into the Bargain; Lord <hi>M—dd—x</hi> then
<pb n="181" facs="tcp:0095100802:188"/> me, Lord <hi>R—ym—d</hi> had ſome Reaſon
to be fearful how he made an Aſſignation, as he had once the Misfortune to
be taken in by a Billet-doux; and, when he went to the appointed Place,
inſtead of a fine Lady, found a Couple of ſturdy Fellows, who gave him a
very good Cudgelling.

This put me in mind of a merry Story told me in <hi>London,</hi>
of Col. <hi>C—nn—m,</hi> who took Delight in paying his
Addreſſes to young Ladies, merely for Amuſement; and no ſooner did he
perceive he had gained their Affection, but he deſpiſed his Conqueſt.

As the Noblemen knew him, I related one Story to them, out of
many, of a pleaſant Revenge a forſaken Nymph took on him.

This Lady was of exceeding good Birth, very well accompliſhed,
and of unblemiſhed Reputation, but not of Fortune equal to his; however, he
ſeemed ſo fond, that ſhe ſuppoſed that would be no Obſtacle, and
intirely devoted herſelf to the Pleaſure of loving him; which he no
ſooner perceived, but he grew cold, civil, and reſpectful,
<pb n="182" facs="tcp:0095100802:189"/> and at laſt went to <hi>London,</hi> without ſo much
as bidding her Farewel.

Her Step-father, Brigadier <hi>V—ſ—y,</hi> having
ſome Call there, took his Lady and her Children with him, where, though
Miſs <hi>A—t,</hi> for that was the Lady's Name, frequently ſaw the
Colonel at Court, he never took the leaſt Notice of her, but ſeemed as
never acquainted: This, as we may preſume, ſufficiently grieved her, ſhe
made her Complaint to a Female Confidante, a Lady of Quality, and a Wo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man of
Spirit; between them they con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>trived, at leaſt, to give his Vanity a
terri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ble Mortification.

They wrote to him a Letter, as from a married Dutcheſs, who was
fallen in Love with him at Court; the Chairman had Di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rections to wait for his
Anſwer, but they took Care that he ſhould not be able to gueſs who ſent
it;—all that the Colonel could diſcover was, that it was given to him
in the Street, and he was ordered to leave the Anſwer at a Mercer's, where it
would be ſafe delivered to the Perſon who wrote the Letter.

               <pb n="183" facs="tcp:0095100802:190"/>This Secrecy made him quite ſure he had
gained the Heart of ſome high-born Fair; he failed not to ſend a
paſſionate and tender Return for ſo great an Honour as the unknown
Charmer had done him. The Ladies received it, and were glad to find the Gudgeon
ſwallow the Bait ſo gree<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dily. Next Night he took care to dreſs himſelf
with the utmoſt Magnificence; and, as he is really a graceful Perſon, he
made no doubt but the Lady would, by ſome favourable Glance, diſcover
herſelf to him; to this End, he went to Court, and ſtrictly examined the
Countenance of every Lady of Quality there to no Purpoſe, which only made him
ſuppoſe the Lady extremely diſcreet, and careful of her Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>putation.

His imaginary Miſtreſs made ſeveral Appointments with him,
then ſent him Word, her Lord was come to Town, or ſome Apology, 'till at
laſt, tired with their Sport, they reſolved to finiſh it.

To this End, he received a Letter, that the Lady could not find
out any Place where ſhe could, without Danger of Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>covery,
<pb n="184" facs="tcp:0095100802:191"/> meet him, except at his own Houſe, but begged, that he
might not let any of his Servants be in the Way; that ſhe would come in a
Chair, exactly at Ten, one ſmall Tap at the Door being the Signal for
Happineſs.

Never did Knight-Errant propoſe to himſelf more Glory in the
finiſhing of an Adventure, than did our happy Colonel at his near approaching
Bliſs; he had framed to himſelf an Idea of a perfect Beauty, kind, tender,
and formed for Love; his Anſwer was all Rapture, and Acknow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ledgment.

His Apartments were filled with Wax Lights, himſelf curled,
perfumed, and dreſſed to ſuch Advantage; who could re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſiſt that
beheld him? He punctually o<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>beyed the Ladies Commands, in diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſſing all
the Servants, with Orders not to appear, and waited the happy Minute, with the
Impatience of a real Lover; every Moment he looked at his Watch, and thought
the Hours, Ages.

At length the long wiſhed for Signal was given, he flew to
receive the Fair-one, <pb n="185" facs="tcp:0095100802:192"/> when a Porter delivered a Band-box
into his Hand, and, without ſpeaking a Word to him vaniſhed. Never was any
Man in greater Confuſion than he, at opening it; he there found, not only all
his own ſoft Epiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tles, but alſo a little Doll in a Chair, with a Letter
in her Hand, directed to him, the Purport of which, was, to let him know he was
a conceited Coxcomb, to ſuppoſe any Woman of Quality had the leaſt
Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gard for him, and, that the Lady who held that, was a Miſtreſs good
enough for him.

The Noblemen thanked me for my Narration, and wiſhed the Trick
had been put on <hi>Jack-a-Dandy,</hi> ſuch a Lady being a much more
ſuitable Match for him than the Colonel; however, we all agreed, that this
was no Tax on the Gentleman's Un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>derſtanding,
<q>
                  <l>Since, let a Man be ne'er ſo wiſe,</l>
                  <l>He may be caught, with ſober Lyes.</l>
               </q> And, that his
Appearance might captivate a Lady, without any Miracle.

Lord <hi>M—dd—x</hi> did me the Honour to
ſubſcribe, and, aſſured me, he would pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vail <pb n="186" facs="tcp:0095100802:193"/> on
as many of his Friends as he could, to do me the ſame Favour.

Next Day Colonel <hi>Duncombe</hi> asked me, did I know ſuch a
Gentleman of <hi>Ireland,</hi> as <hi>L—ft—s H—e,</hi>
               Eſq; I ſaid I did, particularly well, as my Brother and he
were inſeparable Companions in the Col<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lege; he told me, there was a Parcel
of Letters freed by the Earl <hi>Thomond,</hi> then juſt dead, lying for him
at <hi>White</hi>'s, and, that he ſhould be very glad to ſee him, to learn
ſome Account of the Particulars of Lord <hi>Thomond</hi>'s Death, with whom
he had for many Years a ſtrict Friendſhip.

As I had learned by Accident where Mr. <hi>H—e</hi> lived, I
wrote to let him know what the Colonel ſaid; he ſent me a Letter of Thanks,
and, that he would do himſelf the Honour of meeting the Colonel the next
Evening at my Apart<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment.

It ſo fortuned that my kind Benefactor Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> came
over with the Colonel, and a little after came Mr. <hi>H—e</hi>; his
Politeneſs, and the many pleaſing Inci<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dents of our younger Days, gave me
<pb n="187" facs="tcp:0095100802:194"/> infinite Delight, as it was a Proof that I was not an
Impoſtor, and convinced the Auditors I had once been in Eſteem, even in my
own Country.

After a good deal of agreeable Chat, wherein Mr.
<hi>H—e</hi> took an Opportunity of mentioning his having, when he was in
the College, ſpent his whole Year's Al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lowance in making one grand Ball; and
that, as on this Occaſion, he was in Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>grace with his own Father, he
quartered himſelf on mine, praiſing his elegant man<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ner of living, and the
kind Reception he always received from him, which as he ſaid, he muſt ever
acknowledge to his Family; Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> ſaid, he hoped, as I was the
only deſolate Perſon belonging to it, he would be ſo good as to
aſſiſt me. He aſked, how it was in his Power? Why, returned he, this
poor Lady is obliged to publiſh her Writings by Subſcription, and I dare
ſay, a Gentleman of her own Coun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>try, who has ſo fine a Fortune, and knows
her ſo many Years, will, at leaſt, be as kind as Strangers have been to
her: With<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>out <pb n="188" facs="tcp:0095100802:195"/> doubt, Sir, ſaid Mr. <hi>H—e,</hi>
it is the Duty of every Gentleman to do it; ſo riſing, he told me, he was
very ſorry he was under an Engagement to the Duke of <hi>Devonſhire,</hi>
but that he would take ano<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther Opportunity of paying his Reſpects to me;
which ſame Opportunity, as he never found in <hi>London,</hi> I hope he will
in <hi>Ireland,</hi> and have ſuch a Dependance on his Honour, that I am
certain, he will keep it, in being my Friend.

As I had the Honour of being once a kind of a Favourite to
Alderman <hi>Barber,</hi> I judged him a very proper Perſon, both as he had
been a Printer, and was alſo a Man of conſiderable Intereſt, to apply to,
both to increaſe my Subſcription, and to put me into a Method of getting my
Wri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tings printed as cheap as I could; to this end, I wrote him a very
reſpectful Letter, but received no Anſwer; I followed it with a Second,
ſtill he was ſilent; at length, I found a Method to make him ſpeak to me,
for, recollecting the beſt Part of a very ſevere Satyr Mr.
<hi>P—n</hi> had <pb n="189" facs="tcp:0095100802:196"/> wrote on him, I let him know I
had it, on which he invited me to his Houſe, re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceived me very kindly,
apologized for his Silence, being ill of the Gout, which had hindered him from
anſwering me; and aſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſured me, as ſoon as he was able to go abroad, he
would preſent me as a Compa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nion to the Dutcheſs of <hi>Buckingham,</hi>
who had promiſed to take one of his Recom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mendation, and who, he ſaid,
being in the Decline of Life, and having no Children, would, he was certain, if
I had the good Fortune to pleaſe her, remember me in her Will; but unhappily
for me the Al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>derman died a few Days after, nor did the Dutcheſs long
ſurvive him.

So vaniſhed my Hopes.

A ſhort time after this Diſappointment, which ſenſibly
affected me, my Landlady told me, there was an ugly ſquinting old Fellow, who
ſaid he had Buſineſs of the utmoſt Conſequence, and muſt ſpeak to
me; I bid her ſhew him up, and found he anſwered her Deſcription; he
aſked me, was my Name <hi>Meade?</hi> I ſaid, yes; why
<pb n="190" facs="tcp:0095100802:197"/> then, ſaid he, I am come to inform you, that there is
a Legacy of five hundred Pounds left you by one Mr. <hi>Clark,</hi> who died
laſt Week at <hi>St. Edmondſbury,</hi> but the Lady I was ordered to
inquire for is Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>'s Wife; are you the Perſon? I told him
the Direction was very right, but that I neither was related to, nor even
ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quainted with any Perſon of the Name of <hi>Clark,</hi> from whom I had
the ſmalleſt Rea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſon to hope for ſuch a Favour: Nay, Madam, returned
he, as you have changed your Name, why may not he? Upon this, he ſhewed me a
Letter, to my Fancy au<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thentic, wherein I was deſired, if living, to wait on
Counſellor <hi>Clark</hi> in <hi>Eſſex-Street</hi> in the
<hi>Strand,</hi> who had Orders to pay me the Money, on Proof I was Mrs.
<hi>Pil<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>kington.</hi>

I knew not what to make of all this; I was in hopes the fickle
Goddeſs, who is well repreſented ſtanding on a Wheel, was, for once, in a
good Humour with me, and was reſolved to make me amends for her former
Caprice, or, to ſpeak more ſeriouſly, that the Supreme Almighty Being,
that Power, who
<q>
                  <pb n="191" facs="tcp:0095100802:198"/>
                  <l>Builds Life on Death, on Change Du<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ration founds,</l>
                  <l>And gives th' eternal Wheels to know their Rounds,</l>
               </q> had
taken Compaſſion on my Sufferings.

While I was loſt in muſing on this odd Adventure, the old
Fellow asked me very gaily, if I would give him my Company to
<hi>Richmond,</hi> and take a Dinner with him? I told him I never went abroad
with Per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſons I did not know, eſpecially Men; he told me, he was very
capable of being ſer<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>viceable to me, and that it was alſo in my Power to be
ſo to him; in what, Sir? Why, I have received from <hi>Ireland,</hi> from
your Huſband, the Life of Alderman <hi>Barber,</hi> wherein there is an
Account of the Amours of <hi>Cadenus</hi> and <hi>Vaneſſa,</hi> to which
the Alderman was privy, and related them to Mr. <hi>P—n:</hi> Now I have
been informed you have ſome Letters of the Dean's, which may embelliſh the
Work; and alſo a true Character of the Alderman, written by his Chaplain; I
will make you <pb n="192" facs="tcp:0095100802:199"/> a handſome Conſideration for them, if
you will give them to me to publiſh.

This Diſcourſe ſurprized me almoſt as much as the firſt;
I therefore begged he would not hold me any longer in Suſpence, but let me
know who I converſed with? He anſwered his Name was <hi>Edmund Curl,</hi>
upon which, in ſpite of Vexation, and the Diſappointment of my new-born
Hope, I could not forbear laughing at the fine Scheme he had laid, to trick me
out of any valuable Manuſcripts I might poſſibly poſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſeſs; ſo
making him a Courteſy, I ſaid, Farewel, Legacy!

I ſhould not trouble the Reader with this Story, but that I have
been charged with writing the Life of the Alderman; and, as I ſhall anſwer
it to God, I never even ſaw it in my Life, not but Curioſity would have
engaged me to read it, eſpe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cially as I heard it was very well wrote; but at
the Time it was publiſhed, I was a Priſoner in the <hi>Marſhalſea,</hi>
and really had not a Crown to ſpare for a Book.

As Mr. <hi>Curl</hi> ſwore heartily, that his Letter, with
regard to the Legacy, was <pb n="193" facs="tcp:0095100802:200"/> genuine, I went the next Day
to Coun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſellor <hi>Clark</hi>; there was indeed an old Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tleman of his name
newly dead, at <hi>St. Ed<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>monsbury,</hi> who had Children and Grand<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>children,
Heirs at Law, ſufficient to in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>herit his Fortune, and, as it happened, he
died inteſtate.

However I comforted myſelf that Mr. <hi>Curl</hi> had not made a
Fool of me, as he has done of many a better Writer, and ſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cured me a
Priſoner in his poetical Garret, which the ingenious Mr. <hi>Fielding</hi>
charm<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ingly ridicules.

But oh the diſmal Summer (which ever was attended with Want and
all it's gloomy Train, not only to me, but many Perſons who ſeem in good
Circumſtances) left me quite deſolate, and obliged me to take a cheaper
Lodging, which I did in the Houſe of one Mrs. <hi>Trifoli</hi> in
<hi>Duke-ſtreet, St. James</hi>'s, a moſt extraordinary painted up,
bedizened-out old Woman, whoſe Huſband was a <hi>German</hi> Quack, not
then in <hi>England,</hi> from which, it ſeems his Wife had obliged him to
fly, for robbing her of a Deed of Settlement he had made to
<pb n="194" facs="tcp:0095100802:201"/> her at Marriage; but to ſay the Truth, I think that
was a Bleſſing to the poor Man, for ſhe was a very Devil incarnate,
un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>merciful and cruel to the laſt Degree: I dare ſay, ſhe never in her
Life gave even a Cup of Water or a Morſel of Bread, to keep a poor Creature
from ſtarving!

Her Cuſtom was to live upon her Lodgers, even when ſhe knew
they were deſolately poor, inaſmuch, that if one of them ſent but for a
Pint of Small-Beer, ſhe would intercept it in the Way, and drink half of it;
but indeed ſhe was very civil, for ſhe always ſent them Word ſhe drank
their Healths, and ſo ſhe did in reality, by depriving them of the Means of
pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſerving it.

Being ſadly diſtreſſed by this avaritious Wretch, I was
adviſed to apply to Dr. <hi>Mead,</hi> who was a Man of Taſte, and had
ſixty thouſand Pounds left him, to give in ſuch Charities as he thought
proper. Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cordingly I wrote him a moving Tale of my Diſtreſs, which had
ſo good an Effect, that he ſent me Word he would wait on me himſelf the
next Day, but not keeping his Word, I addreſt him in the following Lines:
<q>
                  <pb n="195" facs="tcp:0095100802:202"/>
                  <lg>
                     To Doctor <hi>MEAD.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>SCARCE was the heavenly Virgin higher bleſt,</l>
                        <l>When viſited by a coeleſtial Gueſt;</l>
                        <l>Hail'd by the glorious Meſſenger of Grace,</l>
                        <l>And honour'd high above the human Race,</l>
                        <l>Scarce ſtronger Rapture cou'd his Words impart,</l>
                        <l>Than thoſe which lately extaſy'd my Heart,</l>
                        <l>When You, God's nobleſt Image here below,</l>
                        <l>Your honour'd Preſence promis'd to beſtow;</l>
                        <l>My Hope reviv'd, I wak'd the ſilent String,</l>
                        <l>The Muſe, once more, attun'd her Voice to ſing,</l>
                        <l>Pleas'd, that tho' long depreſt by adverſe Fate,</l>
                        <l>She yet found Favour with the Good and Great,</l>
                        <l>And that her melancholy flowing Strain</l>
                        <l>To Gen'rous MEAD was not addreſt in vain.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Oh, Thou, the Muſes Judge, the Muſes Friend!</l>
                        <l>Say, muſt thoſe Hopes in Diſappointment end;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="196" facs="tcp:0095100802:203"/>Muſt ev'ry beauteous, bright Idea
fade,</l>
                        <l>And Death enwrap me in his ſilent Shade?</l>
                        <l>Death, the poor ſuff'ring Wretch's laſt Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lief,</l>
                        <l>Led in by pale-ey'd Want, and pining Grief.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Would Heav'n but one aſſiſting Friend ſupply!</l>
                        <l>How quickly might he bid thoſe Sorrows fly?</l>
                        <l>Whoſe Wiſdom cou'd my Induſtry direct,</l>
                        <l>And as that merited his Aid, protect;</l>
                        <l>Not thus with endleſs Application griev'd,</l>
                        <l>And tho' ſo oft ſupported, ne'er reliev'd.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Pardon the bold Preſumption of my Pray'r,</l>
                        <l>Courage is oft extracted from Deſpair;</l>
                        <l>The drowning Wretch ſtruggles for Life awhile,</l>
                        <l>Nor God, nor Man condemns his anxious Toil;</l>
                        <l>But if tempeſtuous Billows round him riſe,</l>
                        <l>And Heav'n all Pity, all Relief denies,</l>
                        <l>Loſt in the Ocean, he forgotten dies.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

               <pb n="197" facs="tcp:0095100802:204"/>I ſent theſe Rhymes to the Doctor, and,
in return, was deſired to come to his Houſe in <hi>Ormond-ſtreet,</hi> at
Four o'Clock that Afternoon.

Now were my Hopes high raiſed, high as the Spring Tide, to which
the Ebb quickly ſucceeds, as it did with me; I fancied, vainly fancied! at
leaſt ten Guineas in my Pocket, and had, like the Man with his Basket of
Glaſſes, turned them into Trade, and purchaſed in my Mind an eaſy
Subſiſtence for Life; but I was a little miſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>taken in the Matter, as the
Sequel will ſhew. I dreſſed myſelf very neatly, and waited on the
Doctor; when I knocked at his Door, a Footman with his Mouth very full, and a
Bone in his Hand, opened it, and in an <hi>Iriſh</hi> Accent, demanded my
Buſineſs? I told him I wanted to ſpeak to the Doctor:
<q rend="inline">"By my own Shoul, ſaid he, my Maiſhter will
not be ſpoke to by Nobody!"</q> Well then, Friend, if you pleaſe to let him
know Mrs. <hi>Meade</hi> is here, I believe he will ſpeak to me:
<q rend="inline">"Miſhtriſh <hi>Maide,</hi> replied he, Arah,
are you vanting Charity, and taakes up my Maiſhter's Name to claim
<pb n="198" facs="tcp:0095100802:205"/> Kin with him; well, ſtay there, I'll tell him."</q> So
he went into a back Par<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lour, but was quite confounded, when the Doctor
inſtantly came out, and gave him a ſevere Reprimand for letting me ſtand
in the Hall; and I am very certain, had I thought it worth my While to have
ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quainted the Docter with his Inſolence, he would have been diſcharged. A
proper Caution to Livery-wearing Fellows to ſpeak with Civility to every
Body.

The Doctor ſhewed me into a handſome Street-parlour, adorned
with ſeveral Curio<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſities, of which here needs no Account: He asked me for
Sir <hi>John Meade,</hi> whom, becauſe he remembered, he expected I ſhould,
though he died two Years before I was born; when I told him ſo, he ſeemed
diſpleaſed: And really I remember that good Mr. <hi>Cibber,</hi> in his
pleaſant Way, ſcolded me once for not remembering King <hi>Charles</hi> II.
though my Father was born in the Reign of King <hi>William.</hi>

As my Anſwers to the Doctor, with re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lation to the whole Family
of the <hi>Meades,</hi> were ſufficient to convince him I was not an
<pb n="199" facs="tcp:0095100802:206"/> Impoſtor, he asked me how he could ſerve me? I told
him I had ſome Poems to publiſh, but for Want of a little Money to pay for
the Printing of them, I could not proceed:
<q rend="inline">"Poems, returned he; why, did you ever know any
Perſon get Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ney by Poetry?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">Yes, Sir, ſeveral; Mr. <hi>Pope</hi> in
particular:"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Oh Lud, Lud, (ſaid he, grinning horribly, and
ſquinting hideouſly) what Vanity thou haſt! can you write like him?"</q>
I was quite abaſhed, and really knew not what to ſay for ſome Moments,
for my Reader may eaſily perceive, I could not but be ſenſible I had made
a fooliſh Speech, un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>aware to myſelf; however, upon Recollec<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, I
aſſured him, I did not preſume to put myſelf in any Degree of
Compariſon with ſo juſtly an admired Writer, but that perhaps, on Account
of my Sex, I might find a little Favour,

Well ſaid he, there are a Couple of Gui<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neas for you: This,
though far ſhort of my Expectations, was a little preſent Relief, and as
the Gentleman was under no Obliga<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion <pb n="200" facs="tcp:0095100802:207"/> to reward or
encourage me, I very gratefully accepted of them, and yet
<q>
                  <l>Proud was the Muſe I ſerv'd, unbred to wait</l>
                  <l>A willing Stranger at a Great Man's Gate!</l>
               </q>

And here gentle Reader, give me Leave to treſpaſs a Moment on
your Patience, to make one Remark, which is, that, amongſt all the Perſons
who are celebrated for be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing charitable, I never met one really ſo; and the
moſt humane and beneficent are thoſe whoſe Characters have been ſo
at<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tacked for their Humanity, that at laſt they have even been aſhamed of
well-doing.

I remember Dr. <hi>Swift</hi> told me, he ſaw a Beggar attack at
Biſhop, who charitably from his Abundance, ſpared him a Half<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>penny, and
ſaid, God bleſs you; preſently after he attacked Brigadier
<hi>Groves,</hi> who threw Half a Crown to him, and bade G—d d—m
him; which, ſaid he, do you think the Beggar prayed for at Night?

               <pb n="201" facs="tcp:0095100802:208"/>But as I have mentioned Dr. <hi>Meade,</hi>
who was ſo much in Love with Mr. <hi>Pope,</hi> for ſaying,
<q>
                  <l>And Books for <hi>Meade,</hi> and Rarities for
<hi>Sloane,</hi>
                  </l>
               </q> I think I muſt give them alſo a Sketch of Sir
<hi>Ha—s,</hi> to whom the Doctor adviſed me to apply, as an Encourager
of Arts. I travelled down to <hi>Chelſea</hi> to wait upon him; it ſnowed
violently, inſomuch that I, who had only a Chintz Gown on, was wet to the
Skin: The Porter, <hi>memoran<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dum,</hi> better bred than his Maſter, to whom
I had ſent up a Compliment, which, as he did not deſerve, I ſhall not do
him the Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour to inſert, invited me into his Lodge, where, after about two
Hours Attendance, I was at length permitted to enter to his Supreme Maj<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ſty; but ſure the Pope him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf,
in all his pontifical Robes, never was half ſo proud. I was conducted by an
Eſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cort thro' ſix or ſeven Rooms, one of which was entirely
wainſcotted, if I may ſo term it, with China; but like the Idol to whom
<pb n="202" facs="tcp:0095100802:209"/> a ſtately Temple was conſecrated, which a Traveller,
attracted by it's outward Mag<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nificence, thought to find an adorable Deity in,
and on Search, found a ridiculous Monkey; ſo I ſaw an old Fellow, whom I am
very well convinced never ſaw me, for he did not even vouchſafe to turn his
Eyes off a Paper he was writing, to ſee who came in, till at laſt a
Beggar-Woman entered, with a ſore eyed Child; the In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſide of whoſe
Eyelids he very charitably tore out with a Beard of Corn, under which cruel
Operation the Girl fainted, but he ſaid that was good for her: It may be
ſo, for by two-headed <hi>Janus,</hi> Nature has fra<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>med ſtrange Doctors in
her Time.
<q>
                  <l>Some, who will bid us live on Pulſe, and Water;</l>
                  <l>And others of ſuch Vinegar Aſpect,</l>
                  <l>They would not wag their Jaws in Way of Smile,</l>
                  <l>Tho' <hi>Neſtor</hi> ſwore the Jeſt were
laugh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>able.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="203" facs="tcp:0095100802:210"/> Of this latter Sort was Sir
<hi>H—ns.</hi> Tho' I had ſent him up a Letter which lay before him, he
aſked me what I wanted? if I had bad Eyes he ſaid he would bruſh them up
for Charity; but as they happened to be tolerably good, I excuſed myſelf,
by tel<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ling him I had brought him that Letter; and indeed I was quick-ſighted
enough to find out, that his Honour (as the Beggar-woman called him) was a
conceited, ridi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>culous, imperious old Fool.—He then conſidered my
Letter over, and finding by the Contents, Dr. <hi>Mead</hi> had recommended me
to him, ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Poor Creature! I ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>poſe you want Charity;
there is Half a Crown for you."</q> I could hardly reſiſt a ſtrong
Inclination I had to quoit it, as <hi>Falſtaff</hi> ſays, into his Face,
like a Three-penny Shovel-groat; and was only con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtrained by the
Conſideration, that I had never a Shilling in my Pocket, and that, little as
it was, I could eat for it.

I have here done with the Great Sir <hi>H—ns
Sl—ne,</hi> B—r— of <hi>O—k—m,</hi> and return to
Dr. <hi>Meade.</hi>

               <pb n="204" facs="tcp:0095100802:211"/>I had forgot to tell my Readers, that
re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>juicing at my Succeſs, when I returned from his Houſe I threw the two
Guineas up, and had the Misfortune to loſe one in a Chink of the Room; the
Board my Land<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lady would never permit me to remove, leſt, as ſhe ſaid, I
ſhould ſpoil her Floor. This trivial Accident gave me a great deal of
Uneaſineſs, as it put me out of Power of paying, and quitting her according
to my Intention.

However, as I was obliged to live by my Wits, which indeed were
almoſt at an End; I formed a Scheme to write a Pane<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gyric on
<hi>P—p</hi> Lord <hi>H—k,</hi> then newly created L—d
H—h C—r of <hi>E—d.</hi> I did not addreſs him in the
Manner I had done a great many of the Nobility, that is with my one Poem, which
I ſent all round, like the Biſhop's Paſtoral Letter; it was, as
<hi>Swift</hi> ſays,
<q>
                  <l>—In another Reign,</l>
                  <l>Change but the Name, 'twill do again.</l>
               </q> I wrote a fire
new one for himſelf, which was really paying him a higher Compliment
<pb n="205" facs="tcp:0095100802:212"/> than he deſerved, as my Readers may per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceive
hereafter. I had compleated the Poem, and ſent it to him; he deſired me to
come to him on <hi>Sunday,</hi> that being his only leiſure Time.—

Accordingly, I waited on him at Eight o'Clock on <hi>Sunday</hi>
Morning; the Houſe had rather the Appearance of Deſolation and Poverty,
than that of the L—d Ch—ll—r of <hi>Br—n:</hi> He had
Complai<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſance enough to ſend his Mace-Bearer to keep me Company, till
ſuch time as a Pair of Folding-doors flew open, and my Lord appeared in his
Robes, ready to go to Church; he bowed down to the Ground to me, and aſked me
if I would drink a Diſh of Chocolate with him? which you may not doubt I
accepted of; and was ſurprized to find myſelf, though ſunk in the moſt
abject Poverty, ſitting with ſo great a Man!

So, for my Labour, I got a Diſh of
<note n="*" place="bottom">
                  <hi>Mem. Chocolate,</hi> a Word uſed by
a very emi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nent Comedian, one Mr. <hi>Foote,</hi> for Satire.</note>Chocolate,
which I now return, with the <pb n="206" facs="tcp:0095100802:213"/> utmoſt Humility, to his
L—d—p again.

So, my Lord went to Church, where I alſo went; I there ſaw
Doctor <hi>Meade,</hi> who, perceiving his Lordſhip made me a low Bow, made
one four times as low; and I could very hardly refrain laughing at them both,
and thinking
<q>
                  <l>—That all this World's a Stage, and</l>
                  <l>All the Men and Women merely Actors;</l>
               </q> And that
<q>
                  <l>If ev'ry juſt Man, that now pines with Want,</l>
                  <l>Had but a moderate, and beſeeming Share</l>
                  <l>Of that, which lewdly pamper'd Luxury</l>
                  <l>Now heaps upon ſome Few, with vaſt Exceſs;</l>
                  <l>Nature's full Bleſſings would be well diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pens'd</l>
                  <l>In unſuperfluous even Proportion,</l>
                  <l>And ſhe no Whit encumber'd by her Store:</l>
                  <l>And then the Giver would be better thank'd,</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="207" facs="tcp:0095100802:214"/>His Praiſe due paid; for ſwiniſh
Glut<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tony</l>
                  <l>Ne'er looks to Heav'n, amidſt his gorgeous Feaſt;</l>
                  <l>But, with beſotted baſe Ingratitude,</l>
                  <l>Crams, and blaſphemes his Feeder.</l>
                  <bibl>Milton's Comus.</bibl>
               </q>

Well, I could find no Remedy for the Conſumption of my Purſe,
nor borrow, to linger out the Diſeaſe, any where, but from the Pawnbroker;
but he was always cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ritable.

However, I concealed my Diſtreſs with the utmoſt Care from
my Landlady; called every Morning for the Teakettle, though I had no
Tea;—then I ſaid I was enga<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ged to dine abroad, and took a ſolitary
Walk to <hi>Weſtminſter-Abby,</hi>—and ranged the ſolemn Iſles
alone, envying thoſe who reſted in Peace from their Labours; till, at
laſt, having been three Days and three Nights without Food of any kind,
Heaven pardon me! a melancholy Thought came into my Head, that it was better to
die at once, than die daily; and that, as I could <pb n="208" facs="tcp:0095100802:215"/> not
Fardles bear, it was beſt to make my own <hi>Quietus,</hi> and no longer
ſtrive to keep up a frail and feveriſh Being: And here, indeed, I own, I
had been unmindful of the Crown which Virtue gives,
<q>
                  <l>After this mortal Coil, to her true Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vants.</l>
               </q>
Deſpair vanquiſhed me quite; nay, ſo art<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ful was the Enemy, as even to
perſuade me, I had a Right to diſpoſe of my own Life, eſpecially when
there did not ſeem, even a Poſſibility of preſerving it. Filled with
gloomy Ideas, I took my uſual Walk, and took notice of the Corner, between
the Monuments of <hi>Shakeſpear</hi> and <hi>Rowe,</hi> where I wiſhed to
be interred, and that Mr. <hi>Pope</hi>'s Lines,
<q>
                  <l>How lov'd, bow honour'd, once avails me not,</l>
                  <l>To whom related, or by whom begot;</l>
                  <l>An Heap of Duſt alone remains of me,</l>
                  <l>'Tis all I am, 'tis all the Proud ſhall be.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="209" facs="tcp:0095100802:216"/> might be my Epitaph. I really found room for Meditation,
even to Madneſs.

In this Temper I went into <hi>St. James</hi>'s <hi>Park,</hi> and
ſeated myſelf by <hi>Roſamond</hi>'s Pond; the Moon, apparent Queen,
un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>veiled her peerleſs Light, and I waited in the ſilent Shade, reſolved
to execute my dreadful Purpoſe, as ſoon as I could do it without
Obſervation, when a young Lady, and an old one, both very well dreſſed,
ſeated themſelves by me; they, in an ele<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gant Stile began to praiſe the
ſweet and ſolemn Beauties of the Moon-light Scene, the Winds gently
whiſpered through the fragrant Lime-trees, juſt then in full Flower; and,
indeed, though they were not vernal Airs, they might have diſſipated all
Anguiſh, but Deſpair: Finding, that not<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>withſtanding my Taciturnity, the
Ladies would enter into Converſation with me, I could not, in Point of good
Breeding, re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fuſe to return them Anſwers, with as much Politeneſs, as I
was Miſtreſs of, till at length, we were ſo pleaſed with each other,
that Time inſenſibly flying, we found we were locked into the
<hi>Park</hi>; but the Ladies, <pb n="210" facs="tcp:0095100802:217"/> whoſe Garden opened
into it, inſiſted on my accompanying them to Supper.

We were let in at a Back-door, by a Servant in Livery, to a very
genteel Houſe, where, on a Sopha, ſat a very handſome Man in a Gold
Brocade Night-Gown, to whom the young Lady preſented me, and ſaid, he was
her Spouſe; the Cloth was ready laid, and a cold Supper on the Table: I would
very fain have pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vailed on the Lady to permit me to go through her Houſe
home, for I could ea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſily perceive the Gentleman's Civility was quite forced,
and, that he was impatient to revenge on his Wife the Liberty ſhe had taken
of inviting a Stranger in; which in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>deed, I believe, ſhe did on no other
Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>count, but, that ſhe thought Decency would prevent him from giving her a
Beating, of which, it ſeems, he was very liberal, though he was but a Footman
when the Lady married him, and threw herſelf, and twenty thouſand Pounds
away upon him, as I afterwards learned.

But, as the late Earl of <hi>Pembroke</hi> ob<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſerved, when he
was told a Maid of Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour, <pb n="211" facs="tcp:0095100802:218"/> who was very handſome, was
in Love with him, notwithſtanding he was an old Hump-back'd Man, but one of
in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>finite Wit, ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Faith, it may be ſo, Women have ſtrange
Fancies!"</q>

I, though foodleſs, never ſpent three Hours more
diſagreeably, eſpecially, as this Houſe brought back to my Mind, the Fear
and Terror I always felt in Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>'s, to which, if my Father,
Mother, or any Friend came, it threw me into Agonies, being well aſſured,
they would never de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>part without receiving ſome groſs Affront, ſuch as
the two following Stories, trivial as they are, may ſerve to
illuſtrate.

One <hi>Alhallow</hi>'s Eve, a Night of Plea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſure and Diſport
in <hi>Ireland,</hi> among the young Maidens and Batchelors, my Brother and
Siſter, who had invited ſome Perſons, agreeable to their own Age, to
celebrate it with them, very fairly begged of us, old Folks, to go abroad; to
oblige them, and myſelf alſo, I begged of Doctor <hi>Delany,</hi> who dined
with us, and my Father and Mother, to come home with me, and try
<pb n="212" facs="tcp:0095100802:219"/> if we could not be as chearful as they: I no ſooner
propoſed the Scheme than they all agreed to it. As my Father was no
Supper-Man, I had ordered a Cuſtard to be made for him, and having a
barnſtable Oven, it was put into it to bake.

While we were amuſing ourſelves in a<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>greeable Chat, entered
Mr. <hi>P—n,</hi> like the Deſcription of Winter,
<q>
                  <l>Striding the gloomy Blaſt!</l>
               </q> and obſerving a Smoak,
occaſioned by the lighting of the Oven, he deſcended to ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>amine the
Contents thereof, found the Cuſtard, eat moſt part of it, and ſent the
Remainder out of Doors, telling us to our Faces, we ſhould not liquor our
Chops at his Expence; though, <hi>memorandum,</hi> my dear Father always ſent
his Supper and Wine before him, whenever he vouchſafed us the Honour of a
Viſit.

The ſecond Inſtance of my Spouſe's Good-nature, was, that
though he had no leſs than thirteen Hens, he, knowing I liked a new-laid Egg
for my Supper, watched <pb n="213" facs="tcp:0095100802:220"/> the Hen-rooſt cloſe, and
every Egg was in a Baſket ſent to the Widow <hi>W—rr—n,</hi>
covered with a Damaſk Napkin, of which ſhe got no leſs than eighteen
given to me by Brigadier <hi>Meade</hi>: At length, one Even<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing, when my
Huſband was abroad, my Brother and Siſter came to viſit me; when the
Clock ſtruck Ten, I concluded Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> would not come home to
Supper, and I had the Impudence to eat two Eggs; they were ſcarce down when
he came in, my Brother had ſent for a Bottle of Wine, and invited his
Reverence to drink a Glaſs, but
<note n="*" place="bottom">
                  <hi>Mem.</hi> He ſays, in one of his
Letters, that the Nobility ſcorned me, and my vile Inſinuations and
Impudence.</note>he ſcorned us and our vile Inſinuations; and as he always
kept an exact Reckoning for his Poultry, he very magiſterially or<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dered his
Eggs to be got ready; this was a Thunder-clap to me; however, as it was in vain
to attempt to hide my Guilt, I was forced to confeſs the horrid Fact; upon
which he ſtood aghaſt, as though he had ſeen Church-yards yawn, and Hell
itſelf breathe forth Contagion to the World.

               <pb n="214" facs="tcp:0095100802:221"/>What, ſaid he, did you eat my black Hen's
Egg? Could not any other ſatisfy your dirty Guts? I wiſh the Devil was in
the Egg, and that it had choaked you.

I anſwered, he had preferred his chari<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>table Wiſh too late;
and, leſt it ſhould take any Effect, I drank a Glaſs of my Bro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther's
Wine, that I might digeſt all toge<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther.

Oh, let the World judge how happy I was! But to return.

Though my <hi>Park</hi> Adventure had di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verted the Execution of
my ſad Scheme for one Evening, yet, as it had brought me no Relief, I ſtill
kept my Purpoſe, and reſolved to fulfil it the next: To this End, I came
and ſat in the ſame Place; I made ſeveral Attempts to throw myſelf in,
and ſtill, when I came near the Water, the Fear of ſomething after Death
puzzled the Will; I examined my Heart ſtrictly, to know what groſs Offence
I had ever committed, that it ſhould
<q>
                  <l>Pleaſe Heav'n to try me with Afflictions,</l>
                  <l>To ſteep me in Poverty up to the very Lips;</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="215" facs="tcp:0095100802:222"/>Give to Captivity me and my utmoſt
Hopes.</l>
               </q> For, had I ever refuſed my Morſel to the Hungry, or ever
filled the Widow's Eyes with Tears, I ſhould not wonder at it. Quite loſt
in theſe melancholy Reflec<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tions, I was waked as from a Dream, by a very well
dreſſed Gentleman, who tapped me on the Shoulder, and ſaid, Lord, can
this be Mrs. <hi>Pilkington?</hi> I looked at him earneſtly, and recollecting
I had ſeen his Face before, anſwered, it was all the Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mains of her that
was Mrs. <hi>Pilkington.</hi> May I preſume, Madam, to aſk, on what
Intention you are ſitting her? I fancy he perceived by my Looks the
Diſorder of my Soul, which, I believe, was ſtrongly pictured there. I
begged he would leave me to myſelf—But he inſiſted on my going
along with him to the <hi>Royal Vineyard,</hi> which was not far off—it
was in vain to refuſe him, he would take no Denial. When we were got about
half way, I very ſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>riouſly demanded of him, who he was? He anſwered, he
was Capt. <hi>Hamilton,</hi> who had <pb n="216" facs="tcp:0095100802:223"/> once the Honour of
ſeeing me at my Uncle <hi>Van Lewen</hi>'s in <hi>Cork,</hi> and who ſhould
think himſelf very happy, if it was any way in his power to ſerve me. We
got a cold Fowl and ſome Ham, of which I eat a little, and took a Glaſs or
two of <hi>Cham<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>paigne,</hi> and I found it revive me very much. We then fell
into Diſcourſe, and I very ſincerely related to him my unhappy Situation,
and the Peril his Appearance had delivered me from. My Story affected him ſo
much, that it drew Tears from him.

After we had regaled ourſelves, it grow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing late, we left the
<hi>Park,</hi> and he was ſo kind to ſee me to my Lodging; where, putting a
couple of Guineas into my Hand, we parted, and he promiſed to ſee me next
Morning; but I ſaw him no more.

I am ſure, when Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> comes to this part of my
Story, he will wiſh the Gentleman had been buried, ſooner than he ſhould
do him ſo ill an Office, as that of ſaving my Life; but I, among other
things, was born to let the World ſee, what the Inſide of a Prieſt is
made of;
<q>
                  <pb n="217" facs="tcp:0095100802:224"/>
                  <l>Prompt, or to ſtab, or ſaint, to ſave, or damn;</l>
                  <l>Heav'n's <hi>Swiſs,</hi> who fight for any God, or Man!</l>
                  <bibl>Pope.</bibl>
               </q> Take notice, I always except the good and
valuable part of the Clergy, whom nobody more highly reſpects and honours
than I ſincerely do; for when they poſſeſs, like <hi>Berkley,</hi>
every Virtue under Heaven, who can refuſe it?

I once more began to believe myſelf un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der the Favour and
Protection of the Al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mighty; as his Hand, though to me in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>viſible, viſibly
led me through various Mazes, perplexed with Error; and deter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mined, whatever
Sufferings he was pleaſed to inflict, to bear them with Reſignation, and
never permit them to triumph over a Chriſtian Faith.

And a ſevere and cruel Trial of my Conſtancy I quickly
experienced; there was a young Woman, who lodged in the Gar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ret, whom I not
only to the utmoſt of my Power ſupported, as ſhe was my Country-woman,
<pb n="218" facs="tcp:0095100802:225"/> and in great Diſtreſs, but alſo as ſhe ſaid
ſhe was related to the Lord <hi>Powerſcourt</hi>; her Maiden Name, as ſhe
told me, was <hi>Craggs</hi>; his Lordſhip may better know whether this was
true or falſe, than I can preſume to do; however, I had often made her a
Confidante to my Diſtreſs, which ſhe as conſtantly revealed to my
in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>exorable Landlady; who one Day, pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tending great Compaſſion, told me
what a Snake I harboured in my Boſom, and ſaid, as ſhe had learned from
her, that I had ſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>veral valuable Things in Pawn, ſhe would releaſe them,
and keep them in her own Hands, till ſuch time as I could pay her the Trifle
I owed her. I thought this a kind Offer, and with great Acknowledg<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment
accepted of it: Oh! what a Fool was I, to ſuſpect ſuch a <hi>Jew</hi> of
any Remorſe? I gave her a Line to the Pawnbroker, em<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>powering her to receive
whatever he had of mine, and out of my two Guineas paid her one. She laid out
two Guineas, took the Goods into her own Hands, and, e'er ſhe came Home, took
out a Writ againſt me, for the Money ſhe had paid for them.

               <pb n="219" facs="tcp:0095100802:226"/>This was on a <hi>Friday</hi>; it rained
exceſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceſſively all Day, to which I attributed both her ſtaying, and
the extreme Low<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neſs and Dejection of Spirit I laboured un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der: I called to
Mrs. <hi>Craggs</hi> to bear me Company; but, as ſhe had told my Chri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtian
Name to my Landlady, in order to have me properly arreſted, ſhe did not
think convenient to come to me.

At length the old Beldam returned, and, in a merry way, aſked
me, Did not I think ſhe had run away with my things? I anſwered,
no—they were not worth her while. She complained of being very dry; upon
which I was weak enough to treat her with ſome Porter.

My Reader will pleaſe to obſerve, I was at this time employed
in writing a Tragedy, called, <hi>The Roman Father,</hi> from the Story of
<hi>Virginius</hi> and <hi>Virginia,</hi> two Acts of which I had finiſhed;
but, as at the ſame time there were two bad Plays wrote on that Subject, I
did not think pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>per to go on with it; it was lying on my Window; and after
ſome Chat with the <pb n="220" facs="tcp:0095100802:227"/> old Woman, being very much
depreſſed in Spirit, I went to Bed.

Early next Morning, to my no ſmall Surprize, entered a Couple of
ill-favoured Fellows, the Sight of whom ſtruck Terror to my Soul. I demanded
their Buſineſs; one of them anſwered,
<q rend="inline">"Get up, you <hi>Iriſh</hi> Papiſt Bitch, and
come along with us."</q> The other, who had employed himſelf in looking over
my Papers, cried,
<q rend="inline">"Ay, the <hi>Iriſh</hi> Whore, here is
ſomething a<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bout ſome <hi>Roman</hi> Father, that's the Pope, and be damn'd
to you, is it?"</q> I was for ſome time quite ſpeechleſs, but, when I
recovered Strength enough to ſpeak, I begged of them to leave the Room, till
I put on my Clothes; but my Landlady coming in at that inſtant, cried,
<q rend="inline">"You're damn'd modeſt;—don't quit the
Place:"</q> The Fellows, who had more Decency than ſhe, looked out at the
Window, while I dreſſed myſelf, in which Time my Agony was inconceivable;
they called a Coach, and thruſting me into it, conveyed me to the Houſe of
an Officer of Mace at <hi>Cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ring-croſs</hi>; as I happened to have a
Gui<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nea <pb n="221" facs="tcp:0095100802:228"/> in my Pocket, I called for a Room and a Pint of
Wine, and then conſidered, if I had one Friend I could apply to: My dear Mr.
<hi>Cibber</hi> was out of Town, as were likewiſe moſt of the Nobility;
however, I ſaw young Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> go by the Window, and ſent to him,
but like all the World, when he heard my Condition, he would not come near me.
My whole Debt was Forty Shillings; O, what could I do but give my Tears Vent!
which was my only Relief; and next Day, after paying twenty Shillings, I was
conveyed to the <hi>Marſhalſea</hi> Priſon. I ſat withinſide of the
Lodge for ſome Minutes quite ſtupified; till at length a Man came, and
aſked me, if I was a Priſoner, which, it ſeems, he did not be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore know;
I told him I was, upon which he brought me into a Room, where a Par<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cel of
Wretches ſeized me, and ſung a long Song about Garniſh, and were going to
pull my Clothes off, till a Servant, who had ſeen me before, ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"For God's ſake don't uſe Dr. <hi>Meade</hi>'s
Wife ill:"</q> Upon this a moſt ugly Woman came up, and ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"G—d d—n you, you B—h, do you
<pb n="222" facs="tcp:0095100802:229"/> pretend to be Dr. <hi>Meade</hi>'s Wife?—I am his
Wife."</q> I begged to be heard, which was granted; I told her my Name was
<hi>Meade,</hi> and my Huſband a Clergy<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man in <hi>Ireland.</hi>
               <q rend="inline">"Oh, that's a different Caſe, ſaid ſhe,
going off."</q> They were kind enough to take my Word for ſome Drink; and a
good decent Woman ſaid, ſhe would accept of me for a Chum, as they call it.
She brought me into a little dirty Apartment, where, without examin<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing any
thing, I in Deſpair threw myſelf down on a Bed I ſaw there, and
reſolved never to riſe again. Three Days and Nights paſt, during which
Time I never taſted Food of any ſort. At length the Companion of my
Miſery preſſed me to take a little Refreſhment, which I was
per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſuaded do; and ſeeing ſo many People in my own Condition, at length
reconciled me to think of making myſelf as eaſy as poſſible; and leave
myſelf to the Diſpoſi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion of Divine Providence. One Morning a Friend
came to viſit me, by whom I ſent a Letter to Dr. <hi>M—de,</hi>
telling him my Diſtreſs, and, among other Things, theſe Lines:
<q>
                  <pb n="223" facs="tcp:0095100802:230"/>
                  <l>CAN, alas! the plaintive Pray'r,</l>
                  <l>Dictated by Grief ſincere,</l>
                  <l>Hope to reach a friendly Ear:</l>
                  <l>Will thy kind and bounteous Heart</l>
                  <l>Sympathize while I impart</l>
                  <l>Such Affliction, as before</l>
                  <l>Never hapleſs Woman bore.</l>
               </q>

I made no doubt but I ſhould be re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieved, and waited
impatiently for the An<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſwer, which was as follows:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     To Mrs. <hi>MEADE</hi> in the
<hi>Marſhalſea.</hi>

                     <opener>
                        <dateline>Ormond-ſtreet,
<date>October 16, 1742.</date>
                        </dateline>
                        <salute>MADAM,</salute>
                     </opener>

I Have ſo many Applications for Cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rity, that it is
impoſſible for me to re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieve all; thoſe from your Country alone are very
numerous: The Family of the <hi>Meades</hi> there are very rich, and ſhould
take care of their needy Branches; I have, for the laſt Time, ſent you a
Guinea.

                     <closer>
                        <signed>I am, Your humble Servant, <hi>R.
M.</hi>
                        </signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

               <pb n="224" facs="tcp:0095100802:231"/>I kept the Original of this by me, with a
Reſolution, when I ſhould theſe unlucky Deeds relate, not to omit it.
This was ſoon gone, I had many to ſatisfy: I then wrote to <hi>Henry
Furneſe,</hi>
               Eſq who in a polite manner ſent me a Guinea,
which doubled the Obligation;
<q>
                  <l>For, oh! believe me, 'tis a dreadful Task,</l>
                  <l>To generous Minds, to be compell'd to ask;</l>
                  <l>More dreadful ſtill to have a Suit deny'd,</l>
                  <l>Or take a niggard Alms, giv'n with Con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tempt and
Pride.</l>
               </q> I was by this ſupported till my dear Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> came
to Town, who was no ſooner acquainted with my Misfortune, than he ſent me a
Guinea all changed into Six-pences, leſt it ſhould tempt ſome one to pick
my Pocket; this was an Inſtance of ſingular Humanity; but he has often
ſaid, when he did good to People in Diſtreſs, it was only to eaſe his
own Mind, which would other<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>wiſe have been on the Rack: Oh, Heavens! what
innate Goodneſs muſt dwell in that Breaſt?

               <pb n="225" facs="tcp:0095100802:232"/>Seeing the Woman, that accuſed me for
being the Doctor's Wife, lying dead drunk in the Puddle, I aſked my
Companion, who ſhe was? Madam, I'll tell you, ſaid ſhe: She was a Servant
to Dr. <hi>M—de,</hi> who had a Child by her, and ſupported her in his
Houſe for ſome time; at length they parted, and he was to allow her five
Guineas a Week: But the Doctor marry<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing his preſent Lady, began to be
remiſs in his Payments, which enraged Madam to ſuch a Degree, that,
forgetting Decency, ſhe went to his Houſe, and, in Preſence of all his
Servants, abuſed and expoſed him to the utmoſt of her power.

Upon this the Doctor ſtepped into his Chariot, and ordered it to
drive to her Lodging, where finding ſhe was indebted to her Landlord, one Mr.
<hi>Bradſt—t,</hi> famous for being a Spy for the D— of
<hi>C—,</hi> he deſired him to arreſt, and put her in Jail. This
artful Fellow al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ledged, it would be very expenſive; but the Doctor having
Charity-money enough to ſupply ſuch Exigencies, ſaid, he valued not the
Expence, ſo ſhe was ſecured. Upon <pb n="226" facs="tcp:0095100802:233"/> this the poor
Wretch was arreſted, and thrown into Jail; and from time to time
<hi>Bradſt—t</hi> got three hundred Pounds of the Doctor for keeping
her there; till at length the Doctor growing weary of the Expence, conſented
to her Releaſement; but ſhe had ſo entirely devoted herſelf to
drinking, that ſhe died a few Days after ſhe obtained her Liberty.

And ſo let this be booked among other of his good Works, ſuch
as combing the Ladies Heads, <hi>&c. &c.</hi>

I think it is a great Pity that every cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ritably diſpoſed
Perſon is not his own Al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>moner, ſince it is a thouſand to one, whe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther
that which was intended to help the Diſtreſt and Innocent, is not applied
to the Service of LUXURY and VICE! I am ſure, to my own Knowledge, in
ſeveral Inſtances it has been ſo by the D-ct-r, who has many Affairs of
the ſame Nature on his Hands; and, to quote his favourite Mr. <hi>Pope,</hi>
               <q>
                  <l>Now, in ſuch Exigencies, not to need,</l>
                  <l>Upon my Word, you muſt be rich indeed,</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="227" facs="tcp:0095100802:234"/>A noble Superfluity it craves,</l>
                  <l>Not for yourſelf, but for your Whores and
Knaves!</l>
               </q>

I remember, twenty Years ago, to have heard Dr. <hi>Delany</hi>
ſay from the Pulpit, it was a glorious thing for a Man to be his own
EXECUTOR: I dare ſay, he never preached but what he practiſed; and, ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cept
that eternal Treaſure, which he has wiſely laid up in ſtore, where
neither Moth nor Ruſt can corrupt, nor Thieves break thro' and ſteal:
Whenever he comes to pay his Mortal Debt—which Hour be far
away!—all he will have left on this ſide of a bleſſed and glorious
Immortality, will be a Shower of Orphans and of Wi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dows Tears, to bedew the
conſecrated Earth, where his honoured Remains ſhall reſt in Peace, till
ſummoned to partake of that Bliſs, prepared by the Almighty be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore all
Worlds, for Souls like his.

As I have frequently obſerved to my Readers, that I was glad to
run away from ſuch a diſagreeable Theme as my Misfor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tunes, I hope for
their Pardon, though I <pb n="228" facs="tcp:0095100802:235"/> am obliged to return to them
again, and give them an Account even of ſo diſmal a Place as a Jail.

Our Head-Turnkey happened to have been a Servant to Alderman
<hi>Barber</hi>; and, like <hi>Joſeph,</hi> I found Favour in the Sight of my
Keeper, as he had ſeen me in better Days.
<q>
                  <l>For, <hi>Certes,</hi> I had look'd on better Days,</l>
                  <l>And had with holy Bell been knoll'd to Church,</l>
                  <l>And ſat at good Men's Feaſts, and wip'd the Eye</l>
                  <l>Of Drops, which ſacred Pity had en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gender'd.</l>
               </q> This
Man took great Compaſſion on me, and as on every <hi>Friday,</hi> which is
Court-day, the Priſoners are all locked up in their re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpective Apartments,
leſt, when the Gates are thrown open for the Admiſſion of the Judge and
Lawyers, any of them ſhould make their Eſcape: I was always indul<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ged in
the Liberty of hearing the Trials, which, as a Court of Judicature was a
<pb n="229" facs="tcp:0095100802:236"/> Scene I had never before beheld, greatly amuſed
me.

And, indeed, I quickly perceived Sir <hi>Richard Steele</hi> was
not miſtaken, when he ſaid the firſt, ſecond, and third Excellence of a
Lawyer was Tautology.

Yet this was but a tranſitory Relaxation, once in a Week; the
Horror of my Con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dition returned with double Violence the Moment I heard the
Key turn for my Con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>finement.

If Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> ſhould alledge, that I have been
ſevere on him in my Writings; let him but conſider, the Extremity that he
drove a worthy Gentleman's Daughter to, nurtured in Eaſe and Plenty: and if
he does not acquit me, I am ſure the reſt of the World will.

We had a ſort of a Chappel belonging to the Jail, where Dr.
<hi>Friend,</hi> a Clergy<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man, Brother to Dr. <hi>Friend</hi> the Phyſician,
obliged us with Divine Service every <hi>Sun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>day:</hi> This Gentleman was
himſelf a Pri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſoner in the <hi>King's-Bench,</hi> and, after all the
Grandeur he had once lived in, was now ſo low reduced, as even to be beholden
<pb n="230" facs="tcp:0095100802:237"/> to ſuch an unfortunate Creature as I for Sixpence;
which, unfortunate as I was, I could not refuſe to ſo fine an Orator, a
G<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ntleman! and, by all Accounts,
only undone by boundleſs Generoſity and Hoſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pital<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ty.

The firſt Day I heard him preach I was charmed with his
Elocution, but the reſt of the Congregation, mad and drunk, bade him hold his
Tongue;—he indeed, like <hi>Orpheus,</hi> played to Wolves and Bears; nor
were they half ſo obliging to him, as the Storms were to <hi>Arion</hi>;
neither could he, though uttering dulcet and harmonious Sounds, make the rude
Crowd grow civil with his Song.

This fine Gentleman I often invited to my lonely
Manſion—he was not a lit<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tle ſurpriſed to hear my mournful
Story;—and indeed it ſomewhat alleviated my Sorrow to find ſuch a
Companion:—Poor Gentleman! Death has releaſed him; I am ſure I
ſhould have done it, had the Almighty given me a Power equal to my
Inclination to ſerve him.

               <pb n="231" facs="tcp:0095100802:238"/>However I may praiſe God that I was, under
him, the happy Inſtrument of Good to Numbers of my wretched
Fellow-crea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tures, ſince by one pathetic Memorial I wrote for them, the
ſorrowful Sighing of the Priſoners reached the Hearts of the Le<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>giſlative
Powers, and obtained an Act of Grace for them.

But as it was now near <hi>Chriſtmas,</hi> and the Act was not
to take Place till the <hi>June</hi> following, I uſed my utmoſt Endeavours
to procure my own Liberty; for, oh! what anxious Moments muſt have paſſed
between that dreadful Interval of Time? On a ſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cond Application to Mr.
<hi>Cibber,</hi> he uſed all his Power with the Great for me, and, as he had
been uſed to move their Paſſions, did it effectually on my Behalf,
inſomuch than no leſs than ſixteen Dukes contributed a Guinea a-piece
towards my Enlargement.

When I read over theſe Words, <hi>Diſcharge from your
Cuſtody the Body of,</hi> &c. as I was by nine Weeks Confinement,
Sickneſs, and Faſting, rendered quite weak, the joy<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ful Surpriſe made me
faint away ſeveral Times, and indeed, my kind Benefactor
<pb n="232" facs="tcp:0095100802:239"/> had like to have fruſtrated his own gene<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rous Deſign
of preſerving me.

However, after all Debts, Extortions, and Dues were paid, I had
juſt thirteen Shillings left, with which Sum I was once more permitted to
breathe the open Air—and go where I pleaſed.

As ſoon as I got as far as <hi>London-Bridge,</hi> I found my
Head turn quite giddy, and my Legs fail me, inſomuch that I went into a
Jeweller's Shop, who perceiving my weak Condition, permitted me to ſit down
in it; I begged of him to let ſome of his Servants call a Coach for me, which
he civilly complied with; when I was got into it, I was at a Loſs where to
bid the Coachman drive me; till at laſt recollecting, that all my Writings,
All, the little all! which might make my fu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ture Fortune, were in the
Poſſeſſion of Mrs. <hi>Trifoli,</hi> the Woman who had caſt me into
Miſery unſpeakable, which, not to teize my Readers, I have ſlightly
paſſed over: for what Entertainment can it poſſibly give to the
curious, learned, or polite Reader to hear from me what every
<pb n="233" facs="tcp:0095100802:240"/> Perſon, who has ever been in a Jail, can relate as
well as I.

Well, I was carried to her Houſe, where, as I told her, I did
not know where to lodge that Night; ſhe kindly accepted of me for a
Bedfellow, but a very bad one I found, for ſhe, as my Spirits were quite
fatigued, no ſooner found I was faſt aſleep, but ſhe picked my
Pocket.

When I awoke in the Morning, ſhe asked me to give her ſome
Tea, on which taking up my Pocket to give her Money to go for it, I found I had
none; when I complained of this Uſage, ſhe told me ſhe was too charitable
to permit me to ſleep with her, and now this was her Reward; ſo ſhe
inſiſted on my turning out of her Doors, and truly I knew not where to
<q>
                  <l>—Inform my unacquainted Feet</l>
                  <l>Thro' the blind Mazes of a tangled World;</l>
               </q> So I went
dirty, as I came out of Jail, to Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi>; for I ought before to
have obſerved, that this Wretch not only ſecured my Perſon, but my
Clothes alſo, inſomuch that I had not a Shift to change me, till,
<pb n="234" facs="tcp:0095100802:241"/> out of what Charity was ſent me, I bought a ſecond
one in the Jail.

However, he received me with as much Regard and Kindneſs, as
though I had been ever ſo well dreſt; but he charged me not to give him
Thanks for any Thing he had done to ſerve me, but to praiſe God, who, as he
ſaid, had given me Me<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rit;
<q rend="inline">"For, Child, ſaid he, were you ſtupid,
inſenſible, or wicked, I ſhould never have had the ſmalleſt
Compaſſion for you."</q>

He asked me what I now intended to do? I aſſured him I did not
know; for that I neither had a Lodging, nor, what was yet worſe, a Shilling
to get one;
<q rend="inline">"Well, ſaid he, I have a little Money in Store
for you; I told your melancholy Story to the Duke of <hi>Richmond,</hi> and he
gave me Five Guineas for you; there they are."</q>

This was a Lottery Prize to one in my unhappy Situation; I could
not, though prohibited, forbear the warmeſt Expreſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſions of Gratitude,
both to his Grace and Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi>; to the Duke I wrote a Letter
<pb n="235" facs="tcp:0095100802:242"/> of Acknowledgment, and provided myſelf with a Lodging
in <hi>Weſtminſter,</hi> and, as it was on <hi>Chriſtmas</hi> Eve I
obtained my Li<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>berty, on <hi>New-Year</hi>'s Day I publiſhed in the
<hi>Gazette</hi> the following Lines:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To <hi>COLLEY CIBBER,</hi>
                        Eſq

                     <lg>
                        <l>LOST in a Priſon's joyleſs Gloom,</l>
                        <l>Chearleſs and dreary as the Tomb,</l>
                        <l>Where on the Bed of Care I lay,</l>
                        <l>And wept the lonely Hours away:</l>
                        <l>When ev'ry Hope and Wiſh was fled,</l>
                        <l>But to be number'd with the Dead,</l>
                        <l>You, like a Meſſenger of Grace,</l>
                        <l>Spoke my deſpairing Soul to Peace;</l>
                        <l>Wip'd off the Tear from Sorrow's Eye,</l>
                        <l>Bid Bars, and Bolts, ſtrong warded, fly;</l>
                        <l>Bounty, the Angel-Men revere</l>
                        <l>Wrought Miracles of Mercy there.</l>
                        <l>Say, ſhall thoſe Deeds forgotten die,</l>
                        <l>Or, loſt in cold Oblivion lie?</l>
                        <l>May Heav'n no longer guard that Breath</l>
                        <l>You reſcu'd from untimely Death,</l>
                        <l>Than Gratitude attunes my Lays</l>
                        <l>In ſweeteſt Notes to hymn your Praiſe;</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="236" facs="tcp:0095100802:243"/>Nor can the Song offend the Ear,</l>
                        <l>Thus offer'd from a Soul ſincere.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Enlarg'd, once more, with Joy I view</l>
                        <l>The circling Sun his Courſe renew.</l>
                        <l>May He, whoſe Wiſdom guides the Spheres,</l>
                        <l>Proportion Bleſſings to thy Years;</l>
                        <l>To Thee, may roſy-boſom'd Spring,</l>
                        <l>Pleaſure, and Health, and Plenty bring,</l>
                        <l>Till Time, with gentle Steps, convey</l>
                        <l>Thy Soul to Realms of endleſs Day,</l>
                        <l>Where Cherubims for Thee, with Care,</l>
                        <l>Unenvy'd deathleſs Wreaths prepare.</l>
                        <l>Thoſe modeſt Virtues You conceal,</l>
                        <l>Shall Heav'n-born Charity reveal;</l>
                        <l>And mortal Goodneſs, to improve,</l>
                        <l>Unite You can immortal Love.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Oh, let your Gaiety excuſe,</l>
                        <l>My ſerious melancholy Muſe!</l>
                        <l>This World appears a Dream to me,</l>
                        <l>Afflictions teach Philoſophy;</l>
                        <l>And thus, alone, a Chriſtian Heart,</l>
                        <l>It's grateful Raptures can impart.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

My dear old Friend was pleaſed with my Senſe of his Goodneſs
to me; only he told <pb n="237" facs="tcp:0095100802:244"/> me, my Lines were more proper to be
ad<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dreſſed to an Archbiſhop than to him, who had nothing to boaſt of
more than a little common Humanity.

Well, being now free,—and with five Guineas in my Pocket, in
flowing Circum<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtances, I began to conſider, in what Man<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ner I ſhould
improve them; ſo I wrote to his Grace of <hi>M—h,</hi> who, like Lord
<hi>Kingsborough,</hi> knows not how to give one Guinea by way of Relief, he
immediately ſent me Ten, ſealed up in a very genteel Letter, with his
beſt Wiſhes and Compli<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ments to me: who was now ſo rich as I?

But, as <hi>Shakeſpear</hi> obſerves,
<q>
                  <l>There is a Tide in the Affairs of Men,</l>
                  <l>Which taken at the Height, is proſpe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rous;</l>
                  <l>But, ſlighted, the Reſidue of their Lives</l>
                  <l>Is bound in Shallows and in Miſcry.</l>
               </q> So I juſt then
heard a Clergyman was in <hi>England,</hi> who was a near and intimate Friend
of my Father's; him I addreſſed, and was ordered to go to Mr.
<hi>Richardſon,</hi>
               <pb n="238" facs="tcp:0095100802:245"/> a Printer, in
<hi>Saliſbury-court,</hi> for an An<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſwer to my Letter.

As I had never formed any great Idea of a
<note n="*" place="bottom">
                  <hi>Mem.</hi> Not our preſent Set of
Printers, who are many of them Gentlemen, and Perſons in good
Cir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cumſtances, prrticularly my own.</note>Printer, by thoſe I had ſeen
in <hi>Ireland,</hi> I was very negligent of my Dreſs, any more than making
myſelf clean; but was extremely ſurpriſed, when I was directed to a
Houſe of a very grand outward Ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pearance, and had it been a Palace, the
beneficent Maſter deſerved it.

I met a very civil Reception from him; and he not only made me
break<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>faſt, but alſo dine with him, and his agree<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>able Wife and Children.
After Dinner he called me into his Study, and ſhewed me an Order he had
received to pay me twelve Guineas, which he immediately took out of his
Eſcrutore, and put it into my Hand; but when I went to tell them over, I
found I had fourteen, and ſuppo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſing the Gentleman had made a Miſtake, I
was for returning two of them; but he, <pb n="239" facs="tcp:0095100802:246"/> with a
Sweetneſs and Modeſty almoſt pe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>culiar to himſelf, ſaid, he hoped I
would not take it ill, that he had preſumed to add a Trifle to the Bounty of
my Friend.

I really was confounded, till, recollecting that I had read
<hi>Pamela,</hi> and been told it was written by one Mr. <hi>Richardſon,</hi>
I aſked him, whether he was not the Au<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thor of it? He ſaid, he was the
Editor: I told him, my Surprize was now over, as I found he had only given to
the incompa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rable <hi>Pamela</hi> the Virtues of his own worthy Heart.

When he reads theſe Lines, as read them I am certain he will,
even for the Writer's ſake, let him reflect, that, at leaſt, his Bread was
not ſcattered on the Water; but that though I have no other Way of ſhewing
my Gratitude for his boundleſs and repeated Acts of Humanity to me, and my
Children, but Words, mere Words; yet, if every Word of mine could charm down
Bleſſings on him,
<q>
                  <l>Then never ſhou'd Misfortune croſs his Foot;</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="240" facs="tcp:0095100802:247"/>But Peace ſhou'd be within his Walls
and Plenty,</l>
                  <l>Health, and Happineſs his conſtant
At<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tendants.</l>
               </q>

And now, that I might, if poſſible, avoid the Miſery of
extreme Want, I re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſolved to turn my Stock into Trade; and, after long
Conſideration, thought nothing would ſuit my Inclination ſo well as a
Pamphlet-Shop, nor no Place was ſo pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>per for my Purpoſe as <hi>St.
James</hi>'s-<hi>Street,</hi> where I ſhould be in the Center of my noble
Benefactors; to this end, I walked through it, and finding one to be let, which
anſwered my Purpoſe, I directly agreed to give the Landlord twenty-one
Pounds a Year, for a Shop, Parlour, and Kitchen; but the Landlord inſiſted
upon my paying a Quarter's Rent before-hand, which, though a little hard upon
me, as I not only had the Shop to ſtock, but Fur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>niture of all Kinds to buy,
I complied with.

               <pb n="241" facs="tcp:0095100802:248"/>So, Reader, here was a new Scene, and I, for
the firſt of my Family, took my Place behind a Counter.

Having met with a very great Bargain of Prints, which were ſold
under Diſtreſs, and having ſome Knowledge in that Way, I reſolved
alſo to deal in them; ſo, having decorated out my Windows with them to the
beſt Advantage, early on <hi>Monday</hi> Morning I entered on my new
Employ.

The firſt Perſon who entered was Lord
<hi>P—ſt—n,</hi> dreſs'd <hi>à la mode de Paris,</hi>
with long ſloped double Ruffles, ſuch as the La<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dies wear; he took down the
Print of <hi>Shakeſpear</hi>'s Monument, and, though it was marked Price
Eighteen-pence, he bade me a Groat for it, which, as it had coſt me a
Shilling, I could by no means take; ſo he went away very much diſpleaſed,
and truly, I began to be out of Conceit with my Occupation.

As my dear Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> had made me a preſent of fifty of
his laſt Anſwer to Mr. <hi>Pope,</hi> I ſat down to read it, and found it
ſo full of Spirit and Humour, that juſt as it had thrown me into a hearty
Fit of <pb n="242" facs="tcp:0095100802:249"/> Laughter, a Clergyman entered, who aſked me,
what I had got new? I told him <hi>my preſent Situation</hi>: He looked
earneſtly on me, and ſaid, he was very ſure of that;
<q rend="inline">"But, Madam, ſaid he, all are not born to be
happy in this World, however they may merit it, which plainly demon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtrates a
future State, where Rewards and Puniſhments will be impartially
diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tributed; but why ſhould I tell this to Mrs. <hi>Pilkington,</hi> who
may better in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtruct her Teacher?"</q>

I begged of the Gentleman to inform me, where I had had the Honour
of ſeeing him? He told me, he was Son to Colonel <hi>Stuart,</hi> who lived
next Door to my Father, before I was married, and when he himſelf was in the
College: I then recollected, that he uſed every Day to ſend me ſome
poetical Praiſe, and as I never before had an Op<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>portunity of thanking him
for his elegant Compliments, I took it now.

As he was deſirous of giving me Hanſel, as they call it, I
recommended Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi>'s Letter to him, as a Cure for the Spleen, a
Diſtemper moſt ſtudious and learned Per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſons <pb n="243" facs="tcp:0095100802:250"/> are
apt to fall into; he took the Ghoſt's Word for the Excellence of the
Performance, and gave me a Guinea; I was going to give him Change, but he would
not accept of it; ſo, promiſing to be a conſtant Cuſtomer for whatever
I ſold, and wiſhing me all Succeſs, he de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>parted. <hi>Mem.</hi> The
Clergyman infinitely more generous than the Peer.

As my Obligations to Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> were ever preſent to my
Mind, I wrote to him the following kind of Paraphraſe on an Ode of
<hi>Horace:</hi>
               <q>
                  <lg>
                     To Mr. <hi>CIBBER.</hi>

                     <epigraph>
                        <q>
                           <l>Donarem pateras.</l>
                           <bibl>Hor.</bibl>
                        </q>
                     </epigraph>
                     <lg>
                        <l>DID Fortune wait upon my Hand,</l>
                        <l>Cou'd I her various Gifts command,</l>
                        <l>Her nobleſt Offering wou'd I give</l>
                        <l>To Him, whoſe Bounty bade me live,</l>
                        <l>A golden Goblet, richly chas'd,</l>
                        <l>Cloſe by a mantling Vine embrac'd,</l>
                        <l>Whoſe Fruitage round the Brim ſhould ſhine,</l>
                        <l>And ſeem to yield the ſparkling Wine,</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="244" facs="tcp:0095100802:251"/>Or radiant Gems, of Value rare,</l>
                        <l>Shou'd ſpeak my Gratitude ſincere,</l>
                        <l>For thy far nobler Gift to me,</l>
                        <l>Ineſtimable LIBERTY!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Tho' Poets boaſt a fair Eſtate,</l>
                        <l>They ſeldom deal in Gems, or Plate;</l>
                        <l>For yet in all <hi>Parnaſſus</hi> Mold,</l>
                        <l>There ne'er appear'd one Vein of Gold.</l>
                        <l>We toil, and labour all our Days</l>
                        <l>For a few Sprigs of barren Bays;</l>
                        <l>They, Thunder-proof, its Rage defy,</l>
                        <l>Yet, touch'd by Envy, blaſted die.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Yet Verſe can conſecrate a Name,</l>
                        <l>And worthy Deeds conſign to Fame;</l>
                        <l>Oh! cou'd I raiſe a Song ſublime,</l>
                        <l>Triumphant over Fate and Time,</l>
                        <l>Thy Virtue in the Lays divine</l>
                        <l>Should with immortal Luſtre ſhine:</l>
                        <l>Let others place phantaſtic Joys</l>
                        <l>In orient Trinkets, ſplendid Toys!</l>
                        <l>While your exalted Soul refin'd,</l>
                        <l>Like Heav'n, accepts the GRATEFUL MIND.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

               <pb n="245" facs="tcp:0095100802:252"/>I ſent theſe Lines to my dear Gentleman,
who preſently came to me, as I was once more in his Neighbourhood,—and
in his chearful way, ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Faith, Child, you have praiſed me ſo, that, I
think, it is the leaſt I can do to make you eat for a
Fortnight;"</q>—ſo he gave me three Guineas.

As my Mind was now a little at Peace, I began to think of my dear
Children, whom nothing but my Incapacity of doing them Service, and a
Suppoſition that their Father took proper Care of them, could ever divert my
Thoughts from, even a Moment; ſo ſtrong is maternal Love, at leaſt, if
every Mother loves like me: For, really, and I hope it is a pardonable
Frail<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ty, my very Life is treaſured in him, whom I may properly ſtile my
only Child, and were he to die I ſhould not long ſur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vive him.

I know not of what impenetrable Stuff his Father's Heart was made
of, that could let ſuch a Son, not only want the Advan<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tages of Education,
which had it not been <pb n="246" facs="tcp:0095100802:253"/> in his Power to pay for it, it was
in his own Power to beſtow on him, ſo far as inſtructing him in the
Knowledge of <hi>Latin</hi> and <hi>Greek,</hi> which <hi>Cato</hi> would not
permit his Son to be indebted to a Slave for;—and yet <hi>Cato</hi> was,
at leaſt, as good, and a much greater Man than the Parſon; ſurely this he
might have done:—No; on the contrary, he choſe to expoſe him, at Nine
Years of Age, to every Calamity in Life; and that he did not turn Thief or
Pickpocket, was due to God's reſtraining Grace, and providential Care of
him.

And here, I muſt, in Vindication of my Child, declare, he never
was undutiful or diſreſpectful to me, as his Father has falſly and
cruelly reported; he is, like all Per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſons of his Age, ſo full of Mirth and
over<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>flowing Spirits, that, I am certain, the Dulneſs his Father brings, as
an Excuſe for taking him from School, never was his Fault;

For he is—
<q>
                  <pb n="247" facs="tcp:0095100802:254"/>
                  <l>All my Mirth, my Exerciſe, my Matter,</l>
                  <l>He makes my <hi>July</hi>'s Days ſhort as
<hi>De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cember,</hi>
                  </l>
                  <l>And, with his varying Playfulneſs, kills in me</l>
                  <l>Thoughts which would thick my Blood.</l>
               </q> Though, I am
ſure, only that he has too much Reſpect for his Father, to throw any
Reflection on him; yet he might properly ſay,
<q>He let me feed with his Hinds, debar'd me of a Place in his
Love, and, as much as was in him, mined my Gentility by baſe Education.</q>
And I may ſay, with Truth, the Boy is gentle, though
<q>
                  <l>Never ſchool'd, learn'd; full of noble Device,</l>
                  <l>And of all Sorts enchantingly belov'd.</l>
                  <bibl>Shakeſpear, As you like it.</bibl>
               </q>

               <pb n="248" facs="tcp:0095100802:255"/>But to return. I wrote to <hi>Ireland</hi>
to my eldeſt Son, who, either through Fear of his Father's Anger, or an
ill-natur'd Spirit derived from him, did not think me worth an Anſwer;
however, he ſhewed the Letter to his Siſter, who, in her low Stile, ſent
me an affectionate Letter. Before it reached me, I heard Mr.
<hi>Ar—e</hi> was come to <hi>London,</hi> and having been told my Child
was bound Apprentice to him, I did not doubt but I ſhould find him with him,
ſo I went to wait on him; he received me very politely, and told me, my Son
had left him, and was gone to <hi>Scotland:</hi> When I demanded, how they came
to part? He ſaid, he had pawned ſome of his Muſic Books, and that he had
complained to his Father of him, who aſked what they might be worth? It is to
be preſumed that they were valued to the utmoſt they coſt; upon which Mr.
<hi>P—n,</hi> ever tender, ſaid he was glad to hear that the Theft, as
he termed it, amounted to Death, intreating Mr. <hi>Ar—e</hi> to
proſecute the Child, for ſuch he then was, and declaring that no<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thing in
the World would give him greater Satis<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>faction <pb n="249" facs="tcp:0095100802:256"/> than to
hear that the Dog was hang'd.

Mr. <hi>Ar—e</hi> ſaid, Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>'s
In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>humanity quite ſhocked him,—ſo he corrected the Boy very
ſeverely, upon which he ran away from him; that he had ſince received a
Letter from him, which he ſhewed to me, and from thence I got a Direction
where to write to him. I was, as may be ſuppoſed, infinitely diſturbed at
this Account of my Son; I wrote to him that very Night, and informed him of
what Mr. <hi>A—e</hi> had ſaid; I begged of him to come to me, and that
as his Maſter had highly commended his muſical Talents, I hoped, by Mr.
<hi>Cibber</hi>'s Intereſt, to get him engaged at one of the Theatres.

About ten Days after, having juſt paid my Rent, and bought
ſome Shop-Goods, on which I had laid out every Penny I was worth;—as I
had ſtuck up on my Shop Window, <hi>Letters written here on any Subject,
except the Law, Price Twelve-pence; Petitions alſo drawn at the ſame
Rate.</hi> Mem. <hi>Ready Money, no Truſt.</hi>

               <pb n="250" facs="tcp:0095100802:257"/>A Man came in, very badly dreſt, with a
greaſy Leather Apron before him; he looked over ſome Prints, when the
Poſt<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man brought me a large Pacquet, marked <hi>Edinburgh</hi>; as I had no
Money, I was in terrible Confuſion, eſpecially as the Fellow cried,
<q rend="inline">"Come, Miſtreſs, don't keep me waiting;"</q> I
ſaid, I muſt ſend out for Change: Oh, ſaid he, I never go without it;
where's your Piece? Upon this, the Leather-apron'd Gentleman, for ſuch he
was, drew out a Handful of Gold, and throwing down a Guinea, ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"There, take your Money;"</q> and what was yet
more ſurprizing, he inſiſted on my taking the Change, for he determined,
he ſaid, to have me his Debtor.

Upon this I began to have a very different Opinion of my new
Cuſtomer than what his firſt Appearance gave me, and therefore civilly
entreated his Permiſſion to peruſe my Letter, to which he agreeing, I had
not read above ten Lines when I burſt into Tears, ſo the Gentleman
inſiſted on my laying it aſide while he ſtayed, telling me,
<pb n="251" facs="tcp:0095100802:258"/> I muſt ſo far oblige him as to write a Love-Letter
for him.

Upon this I invited him into the Parlour, and told him, he muſt
make me his Confi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dant: He ſaid, he had never mentioned Love to the Lady;
that, as to her Perſon, ſhe was very agreeable, but that her Mind far
ſurpaſſed it: So, having my Inſtruc<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tions, I quickly finiſhed my
Taſk greatly to his Satisfaction, inſomuch that he pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>teſted I muſt
give him Leave to ſend for a Flaſk of <hi>Champaigne</hi> to raiſe my
Spirits, which, indeed, were greatly oppreſſed.

By the time he had drank a Glaſs or two, he began to talk of
<hi>Homer, Horace, Milton,</hi> and all the Poets; ſung an <hi>Italian</hi>
Song; and ſoon convinced me, that Dreſs was put on merely to diſguiſe a
fine Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tleman, which it was no way in his Power to do; I told him ſo, and
aſked him, why he walked in Maſquerade?

He ſmiled at my Queſtion, but aſſured me, he was neither
better or worſe than a Houſe-Painter, and that his Name was <hi>Tom
Bruſh.</hi>

               <pb n="252" facs="tcp:0095100802:259"/>This put me in Mind of an Adventure I once
had in <hi>Ireland,</hi> when one of the fineſt Gentlemen in it came to
viſit me in a Grazier's Coat, and told me his Name was <hi>Tom Long,</hi> the
Carrier, though he hap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pened to be an <hi>Engliſh</hi> Baronet, with a large
Eſtate, and a great Employment.

But I have been a Lady of Adventure, and almoſt every Day of my
Life produces ſome new one: I am ſure, I ought to thank my loving Huſband
for the Opportunity he has afforded me of ſeeing the World from the Palace to
the Priſon; for had he but permitted me to be what Nature cer<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tainly intended
me for, a harmleſs houſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>hold Dove, in all human Probability I ſhould have
reſted contented with my humble Situation, and, inſtead of uſing a Pen,
been employed with a Needle, to work for the little ones we might, by this
time, have had.

Now, after all my ſtrange Viciſſitudes of good and evil
Fortune, I ſincerely de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>clare, that were I to have my Wiſh, tho' I ſhould
not now in the Decline of Life be able to ſtruggle through Misfortunes, as in
<pb n="253" facs="tcp:0095100802:260"/> it's firſt ſprightly Career; yet as by the Bounty,
Compaſſion, and Kindneſs of all my noble, and honoured Benefactors, I
have the unſpeakable Happineſs of being ſet above the low
Diſtreſſes of Life.
<q>
                  <l>Now pleas'd Remembrance builds Delight on Woe.</l>
                  <bibl>Pope's Homer.</bibl>
               </q> I think I am glad that there has
been ſuch ſtrong Proof made of my Conſtancy, without which I had ſcarce
known how duly to praiſe that eternal Goodneſs, who evermore gave me
Strength adequate to the ſevere Afflictions he was pleaſed to try me with.
Be then all Praiſe to him, who
<q>
                  <l>From ſeeming Evil, ſtill educes good,</l>
                  <l>And better ſtill from thence, and better ſtill</l>
                  <l>To infinite Perfection.</l>
               </q>

Well, when Mr. <hi>Bruſh</hi> departed, I read my dear Child's
Letter, which was as fol<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lows:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <pb n="254" facs="tcp:0095100802:261"/>
                     <opener>
                        <dateline>Edinburgh,
<date>Sept. 16, 1744.</date>
                        </dateline>
                        <salute>My dear, dear MOTHER,</salute>
                     </opener>

NO Tongue can expreſs the Joy which the Receipt of your kind
Letter in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpired me with, to find a long loſt Trea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſure! for I was ſo
poſitively aſſured you were dead, that I can hardly believe my Eyes, when
I ſee your dear and well<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>known Hand, and read your beloved Name, which I have
kiſſed a thouſand Times: If it be Deluſion, may I never be
undeceived!

You deſire me to give you a particular Account of whatever
has befallen me ſince I had the Misfortune of looſing you, my deareſt and
only Friend; for I, with all Duty and Gratitude, remember your fond Affection
to me: It is to you I am indebted that I can either read or write, or know any
part of my Duty either to God or Man; for I do aſſure you my Father neither
in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtructed me himſelf, nor (tho' Mr. <hi>Baldrick</hi> whom my Grandfather
put me to School to, when the good old Man was dead, would have taught for me
nothing) would <pb n="255" facs="tcp:0095100802:262"/> he permit me to go School, becauſe one
Day a Boy threw a Stone at me, and I throwing another at him, happened to break
a Pane of Glaſs in an Alehouſe Window, for which the People followed me
home, and made my Father pay a Groat for it.

Upon this I received a moſt inhuman Correction from him,
which was repeated every Morning and Night for ſix Days to<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gether; he
ſtripped off all my Clothes, though in the Depth of Winter, and locked them
up, leaving me without any Covering but my Shirt in the dark Back Kitchen,
which, as you may remember, was in the Winter overflowed with Water, charging
the Servants not to give me a Morſel of Food; and that I am alive is due to
God's Providence, who, I hope, preſerved me to be a Comfort to you.

However the Servants, though they had but a Groat a Day
allowed them to live upon, uſed to give me Share of their Bread and
Butter-Milk, and, when my Father was abroad, would permit me to warm my Body at
the Kitchen Fire; nay, and as my Father ſaid, it was too much Indulgence
<pb n="256" facs="tcp:0095100802:263"/> for me to ſleep with his Footman, the poor Fellow
uſed to let me lie down in the Day, where I ſpent moſt of my Time, and
was neither allowed Pen, Ink, or Book to a<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>muſe me.

I will in ſome time give you a full Hiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tory; but, at
preſent, ſhall confine my<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf to Mr. <hi>A—e</hi>'s Affair. I
lived with him ſome time before I was bound Ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>prentice, in which I was
uſed very well; but as ſoon as that was done the Scene was changed. Mrs.
<hi>A—e,</hi> who was prodi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>giouſly fond of Gin, uſed to take ſo
much of it, that ſhe ſeldom knew what ſhe did, and would often perſuade
her Husband to believe well or ill of me, juſt as ſhe was drunk or ſober:
It was in one of theſe Fits ſhe was when <hi>Tommy L—e</hi> landed,
who is really a worthleſs conceited Fellow; and becauſe he thought I did
not ſufficiently admire his fine ſinging, uſed, by way of Fun, to ſet
Mrs. <hi>A—e</hi> on to abuſe me and Mr. <hi>A—e,</hi> who is
really a good-natured Man. I was diſcharged from fetching Half-quarterns to
my Miſtreſs; and there being an old Box in the Garret, in which
<pb n="257" facs="tcp:0095100802:264"/> Mr. <hi>A—e</hi> kept ſome Muſick-Books, ſhe
went up to examine it, and ſaid there were ſome of them ſtole: He, who
did not know what number of Books there was in it, ſaid, there was none gone;
upon which, without the leaſt Ceremony, ſhe ſtruck him in the Face,
ſwearing by the great God, if he did not correct me, ſhe would do it
herſelf. I, who was not far off, and heard this Diſcourſe, made the
beſt of my way out of the Houſe; which Mrs. <hi>A—e</hi> taking as a
Proof of Guilt, and a villai<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nous Maid ſhe had joining with her, ſhe
ſearched the Houſe, and ſwore ſhe had loſt many things, as Braſs
Candleſticks, Bottles, <hi>&c.</hi> all this poor Mr. <hi>A—e</hi>
was obliged to agree to for Quietneſs ſake. When I had ſtaid a Day away,
I wrote to him, telling him, I was ſurprized at his Suſpi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cions of me, and
that I was willing to re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turn: He came directly with the Meſſen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ger, and
brought me home. I ſtayed there till Night, when Mr. <hi>L—e</hi>
com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing in, and hearing I was there, called for his Horſewhip, and Mr.
<hi>A—e,</hi> his Wife, and <hi>L—e</hi> were beating me for three
<pb n="258" facs="tcp:0095100802:265"/> Hours, to make me confeſs what I had done with the
Books, ſwearing they would cut me to Death, if I did not own. I was forced
one time to ſay that I ſold them; another, that I gave them away, to get a
little Reſpite; ſo, when they had made me confeſs to what they pleaſed,
I was put to Bed, and locked in, in order to be ſent to <hi>Newgate</hi> next
Day.

I ſtayed all Night, never ſlept, and all the next Day did
not eat a Morſel. In the Evening they were rehearſing <hi>Comus,</hi> when
I ſhot back the Lock of my Priſon, and finding the other Door open, I took
off my Shoes, and crept down ſtairs, got to the Street, and run five Streets
Length in my Stockings: What Advantage the Maid might make of finding the Door
open and me gone I know not, as Mrs. <hi>A—e</hi> ſaid ſhe had loſt
ſome of her Jewels, Things the poor Woman never had in her Life; and ſo far
I was from a Thought of taking any thing of theirs, that I did not take my Hat,
a Shirt, or any thing elſe with me. Now all the Reaſon I can ever deviſe
for her uſing me ſo, was, I believe, <pb n="259" facs="tcp:0095100802:266"/> becauſe I
once ſaw her and <hi>L—e</hi> toying on the Bed together. So now, my
Dear Mother, as I fear I have taken up too much of your Time already, I ſhall
conclude, with aſſuring you

                     <closer>
                        <signed>I am, With the greateſt Tenderneſs, Reſpect
and Duty, Your affectionate Son, J. PILKINGTON.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

This Account of my poor Child's Suf<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ferings threw me into what
they call <hi>An Hiſterick Cholick,</hi> under which I languiſhed many
Days; but my Hour was not yet come, nor had my Sorrows reached their Summit.
But of that in due place.

But to return to my Seat behind the Counter, where I was tolerably
content with my Situation, except for the Concern I felt for my Children, from
whom I could ſeldom diſengage my Thoughts, although the ſad Remembrance
grieves my <pb n="260" facs="tcp:0095100802:267"/> Soul. I muſt proceed: I went to indulge a
pleaſing Fit of Melancholy into <hi>Weſtmin<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſter-Abbey,</hi>
               <q>
                  <l>Where breathing Paint, and ſpeaking Marbles ſhew</l>
                  <l>What Worthies form the hallow'd Mold below.</l>
               </q> I wandered
through the Cloyſters, reading the Inſcriptions till it grew duſkiſh. I
haſtened to the great Gate, but was infi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nitely ſhocked to find I was
locked into the ſolitary Manſions of the Dead: I called a<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>loud to no
purpoſe, except to fright myſelf with my own Voice, reverborated through
<q>
                  <l>Long ſounding Iſles, and intermingled Graves.</l>
               </q> 'Tis
ſcarce in the power of Imagination to paint the Horror which
poſſeſſed me, eſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pecially as, by the Glimpſes of the Moon, the
Statues, which had before been Subjects of Amuſement to me, now looked
dread<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ful, when each Mole-hill Ant ſwelled to a huge <hi>Olympus</hi>; I knew
not what to do, <pb n="261" facs="tcp:0095100802:268"/> but, if poſſible, take Sanctuary at
the Altar.

I went up to the Iron Wicket, which opens into that part of the
Abbey where Divine Service is performed, and to my unſpeakable Happineſs,
pulled it open: I thought to ſit down in one of the Pews till Morning, till,
recollecting the Church was full of Rats, my Terrors were again re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>newed, and I
had Inclination to go into the Iſles, yet, how ſtrong a Paſſion is
Fear? the very Look of them terrified me; till, at length gathering Courage,
even from De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpair, I went to the Communion Table, took off from thence a
Carpet, which co<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vered it, and thinking I could no where be ſo ſecure from
thoſe Vermin as in the Pulpit, I, with great Difficulty, dragged it up, where
finding alſo a Velvet Cuſhion, I ſeated myſelf, and laid the Cuſhion
un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der my Head, wrapping even my Face up with the Carpet.

I endeavoured all in my Power, by the Force of Reaſon and
Religion, to conquer the Terrors which ſeized me; I reflected that God was
every where, and able to <pb n="262" facs="tcp:0095100802:269"/> defend me; that he was not
ſlow to hear, nor impotent to ſave; and alſo that the Church was
peculiarly under his Care, as conſecrated to Acts of Holineſs, and both
relying on his Providence, and commit<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ting to his Protection, I found my Mind
as tranquil and compoſed, as if I had been at home in my Bed, and fell into a
deep Sleep: And here, tho' I may be thought whimſical or ſuperſtitious
for it, I cannot avoid relating my Dream, produced, no doubt, by the ſame Set
of Ideas which had poſſeſſed my waking Thoughts, and ſtill held their
place in Sleep.

I imagined myſelf to be exactly where I was, and that ſuddenly
the Graves gave up their mighty dead, who walked in mar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tial Array before me; I
thought, by ſome ſecret intuitive Knowledge, I became ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quainted not only
with their Names, but alſo with their Aſpects. Many crowned Heads and
ſceptered Hands ſtalked by me in venerable Majeſty: <hi>Henry</hi> V.
clad in Armour, drew in a particular manner my Attention, inſomuch that I
could not for<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bear bleſſing him; I thought he ſmiled,
<pb n="263" facs="tcp:0095100802:270"/> and, with a placid Air, returned my Salu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tation, and
ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"I ſhould have been Great, if, when I had
conquered <hi>France,</hi> I had not married the perfidious Daugh<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter of it,
who at the Age of Thirty-four poiſoned me. This Crime of hers has been truly
viſited on all our unhappy Race, who are now quite extinct."</q>

I ſaid, Thanks, Gracious Monarch. He diſappeared, and two
Perſons ſtruggling for a Diadem next approached. Death, Deſolation, and
Ruin were ſpread around them, till at length, a ſurly-looking Fel<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>low
deſtroyed them both, and all their Friends.

I mourned at this ſad Scene, when, lo! a Hero appeared, who held
in one Hand red Roſes and white, ſo blended that they looked lovely to the
Eye; he ſeemed once or twice to ſmell to them, when inſtantly the Flowers
faded and died, while in their Place, appeared a large Bag of Money.

Next came a ſquat, ſquare-faced King, who held in his
right-hand four bloody Heads, one of whom I thought I knew to
<pb n="264" facs="tcp:0095100802:271"/> be that of <hi>Anna Bullen,</hi> and the other that of
the Marquis of <hi>Surrey.</hi>

A ſweetly blooming Youth, whoſe Por<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>trait was juſt at my
Back in the Pulpit, ap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>peared and vaniſhed like my Dream, out of which I
ſtartled by the Chimes; finding the Bell tolled Four, and knowing the early
Service did not begin till Six, I once more endeavoured to compoſe myſelf
to Reſt.

I muſt reaſſume my Dream juſt where it broke off, as it
really occurred to me. A lovely Lady made her Entrance, holding <hi>Plato</hi>
in one Hand, and the Bible in the other; two Men, by Force, put a Crown on her
Head, at which ſhe ſeemed ter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rified, when immediately came a Woman with a
Countenance like <hi>Maegara,</hi> attended by a Train of Fellows, with Cords,
Axes, and Hatchets, Wheels, and other Imple<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ments of Death and Torture, waited
on again by Perſons, who, by their holy Veſtments, I hoped would be, at
leaſt hu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mane; but alas! inſtead of comforting the lovely Lady, they forced
the above-ſaid Fury, who ſeemed for once inclined to pity
<pb n="265" facs="tcp:0095100802:272"/> her, to permit thoſe ſavage and inhuman Butchers to
cut off the lovelieſt, the moſt learned Head that ever, from the prime
Creation, adorned a Woman.

But to the unſpeakable Happineſs of <hi>Great-Britain,</hi>
this deteſtable Wretch told me, as I thought, that <hi>Philip</hi> of
<hi>Spain</hi> poi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſoned her, in Hopes of marrying her Siſter
<hi>Elizabeth,</hi> then a Priſoner in the Tower.

I was tired with theſe ſhadowy crowned Heads paſſing by
me, like thoſe in <hi>Macbeth,</hi> and wiſhed to ſee the ſweetly
inſpired, Lau<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rel-wreathed Poets advance; my Wiſh was immediately
gratified, and a merry old Fellow appeared, who was, as it were in Jeſt,
laſhing a whole Swarm of Friars:
<q>
                  <l>Piec'd, patch'd, and pye-bal'd, linſey-woolſey
Brothers,</l>
                  <l>Bare-headed, ſleeveleſs ſome, and ſhirtleſs
others.</l>
                  <bibl>Pope.</bibl>
               </q> And though the Blows were dealt pretty
ſmart, they affected to ſmile at them.

               <pb n="266" facs="tcp:0095100802:273"/>Next appeared a Queen, to whom a Gentleman,
with a ſweet but melancholy Countenance, humbly preſented a Volume of
inimitable Poetry, as he was the Prince of Poets in his Time: His
<hi>Gloriana</hi> re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceived it graciouſly, and putting her Hand in her Pocket
gave him a large Bag; I ſup<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>poſed it had been filled with Gold, but the
Poet opening it, found nothing in it but Grains, ſu<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>h as they feed the Hogs with, of which he put a large
Handful into his Mouth, and inſtantly dropped down.

The Concern I felt for him awaked me; the Bell tolling for Morning
Prayer, and the Sexton miſſing the Carpet, and ſuppo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſing the Church
had been robbed, was al<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>moſt beſide himſelf, till I called to him, and
bade him not be frighted, there was nothing gone; the Man ſtared at me, I
begged him to come and help me down, for I found myſelf ſo weak I could
ſcarce move.

I then told him by what odd Accident I came there: He ſeemed
amazed that I out<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lived it, and ſwore heartily he would not have been in my
Place for all the World. <pb n="297" facs="tcp:0095100802:274"/> I begged of him to get
ſomebody to call me a Chair; he went himſelf for one, and with great
Good-nature, brought from his own Houſe a ſmall Phial, with ſome
Cherry-brandy in it, and a Tea-cup in his Pocket; I am ſure I wanted a
Cordial, and there<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore took a little of it, though not with<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>out obliging him
to accept of Payment for it.

When I returned Home, my Servant, who had ſat up for me all
Night, was amazed to ſee me ſo pale and dirty, for the old Carpet had
ſufficiently ſoiled my Apparel; but, leſt ſhe ſhould conceive a bad
Opinion of me, I told her where I had been, and went to Bed; I ſlept for two
Hours, and awoke extremely ill, notwith<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtanding which I cleaned myſelf,
and went into my Shop.

A young Gentleman, but very gravely dreſt, was my firſt
Cuſtomer; he aſked me the Price of an old Print in the Window, and ſeemed
ſurprized at my aſking Half a Crown for it, aſſuring me it was not
worth a Groat; I ſaid, I was ſure he was too good a Judge not to know the
Value of <pb n="268" facs="tcp:0095100802:275"/> any Print taken out of <hi>Montfaucon</hi>'s
An<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tiquities: He ſaid, he wondered why, ſince I knew the Value of the
Author, I ſhould be ſo taſteleſs as to cut one of them out of the Work,
which in many Places ſerved to illuſtrate it, particularly in the Medals: I
aſſured him I had not done it, but had bought them amongſt a Number of
others. The Gentleman perceiving I ſpoke very faintly, ſaid, he believed I
was not well; I aſſured him I was ſo ill, it was with in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>finite
Difficulty I ſpoke at all; he demanded of me, who was my Phyſician? I
ſaid, I had none ſince my dear Father died, who was one of the Faculty:
Then, Madam, ſaid he, allow me to have that Honour; ſo feeling my Pulſe,
he ordered me to be bled, which greatly relieved my poor Head, which, with the
Agitation of Spirit I had ſuffered over Night, aked ready to ſplit. As this
Gentleman gave me his Attendance as long as I had the leaſt Complaint, I
ſhould, I think, be highly ungrateful not to acknowledge my Obligation to Dr.
<hi>Lawſon.</hi>

               <pb n="269" facs="tcp:0095100802:276"/>And indeed, I muſt here ſay, I never met
with more learned, more generous, or more humane Gentlemen than Phyſicians;
yet as no general Rule is without an Excep<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, Dr.
<hi>W—lk—r</hi> refuſed me a Sub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſcription, altho' every other
Phyſician had, on my dear Father's Account, relieved his unhappy Family; but
he alledged it would diſoblige Mr. <hi>P—n</hi>; I know not but it
might; yet how he came to fear him more than the reſt of the World did, that
I know not, but any Excuſe will ſerve a Man to ſave five Shillings;
perhaps he could not ſpare them, as it is more than probable, were he ſee'd
according to his Skill, he might not be worth a ſingle <hi>Marvedi</hi>; and
for many Reaſons, he ought not to be ſevere on any Woman's Cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>racter, let
him amend the Females of his own Family firſt, a Taſk, I fear he will never
be able to perform.

I might alſo give the ſame Advice to Dr. <hi>O—ns,</hi>
whoſe two Siſters took a ſolitary Walk over <hi>Eſſex-Bridge</hi>
every Evening, perhaps to ſay their Prayers.

               <pb n="270" facs="tcp:0095100802:277"/>But to return to <hi>Albion.</hi> I had one
Even<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing been invited abroad, and at my Return, my Servant told me there had
been two very fine Gentlemen to viſit me, who would not leave their Names,
but ſaid they would come the next Morning. Accord<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ingly they did; one of whom
I knew to be Lieutenant <hi>Southwel,</hi> ſince dead, and the other the
L—d V—t <hi>D—le</hi>; Mr. <hi>Southwel,</hi> who had been
many Years acquainted with me, ſeemed rejoiced to ſee me, but my Lord
looked on me with the utmoſt Contempt, nay, with ſuch an Air, as I had
never before met with from any Gentleman, and cried,
<q rend="inline">"Prithee, come away, I thought you were to take me
to a Girl of Sixteen;"</q> though, <hi>mem.</hi> he was at that time married to
his preſent Lady, who is, by all Accounts, a very great Beauty: I aſſured
his Lordſhip I had been once Sixteen, but as it happened ſix<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>teen Years had
rolled over ſince that bloom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing Seaſon, and that, to my great
Morti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fication, I could not arreſt old Father <hi>Time:</hi> Mr.
<hi>Southwel</hi> very politely ſaid, I ſhould be always young; but my Lord
<pb n="271" facs="tcp:0095100802:278"/> urging his Departure, he whiſpered me, that he would
come and paſs the Evening with me.

He kept his Word, and gave me a long Detail of the Calamities he
had ſuffered on Board a Man-of-War, where, becauſe ſome ſaucy Fellow
called him a <hi>Baſtard,</hi> and he in Return, broke his Head, the Captain
confined him ſixteen Weeks to his Cabin; but learning that he was very ill,
he per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mitted him to come upon Deck; he was ſupported by two Men, weak, cold,
and trembling, as he aſſured me, and ready to faint, ſo that he was
obliged to ſit down; upon which the Captain demanded how he dare to ſit
down in his Preſence, or to wear his Hat? ſo he firſt knocked it off, and
then threw it into the Sea.

Theſe Indignities, ſaid he, ſo highly provoked me, that I
retired to my Cabin, reſolved, if ever I ſet my foot on Shore, to call the
Captain to an Account for them. Accordingly, as ſoon as we were on
<hi>Engliſh</hi> Ground, I challenged him, for which Of<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fence I was mulcted
eighteen Months pay; ſo here is the Hiſtory of poor <hi>Dick</hi> for
you.

               <pb n="272" facs="tcp:0095100802:279"/>I was ſenſibly touched with his
Narra<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion, and could not help reflecting how ter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ribly it muſt be to
Gentlemen of Family and Education, to bear with Inſults from Wretches ſo
far beneath them, as thoſe Marine Commanders frequently are, who are perhaps
advanced for being abject, and no ſooner are they advanced, but they be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>come
inſolent Tyrants.

And indeed, I believe this is eternally the Caſe; for it is a
conſtant Remark, that the worſt Maſters and Miſtreſſes, are thoſe
who have been Servants themſelves; they know what Frauds they have committed
when in the like Situation, and conſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quently pry into ſuch low Affairs, as
Per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſons of genteel Birth, and generous Educa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion could never think of, and
even if they were informed of them, would chuſe to overlook.

Mr. <hi>Southwel</hi> then told me, Lord <hi>D—le</hi> had
abuſed me all Day, tho' for what Cauſe I know not; but, with blunt
<hi>Ben,</hi> in <hi>Love for Love,</hi> I merrily told my Sea Officer, that as
for my Lord's Love or Liking, I valued it not of a Rope's <pb n="273" facs="tcp:0095100802:280"/> End, and that, mayhap, I liked him as little as he did me.

I almoſt forced him to drink a Pint of Wine with me, and would
have alſo forced Half a Guinea on him, but his Spirit would not admit of
that.

I was ſo highly provoked at Lord <hi>D—le</hi>'s
Inſolence and Pride, ſo lit<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tle becoming the Character of a Nobleman, that
I could not forbear writing ſome Lines on ſo proper a Subject for Satire,
which Mr. <hi>Southwel</hi> had ſnatched from me, and directly carried to his
Lordſhip.

I went next Morning to wait on Ad<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miral <hi>Anſon,</hi> with a
Petition from the Siſter of his Valet de Chambre, who hap<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pened to be the
firſt Man ſhot in his firſt Sea Engagement, to whom, beſide a Part of
the Prize then taken, there was ſeven Years Wages due. I was ſhewn into the
Back Parlour of a ſmall Houſe in <hi>Hanover-Square.</hi> It was well
adorned with Books in Glaſs Caſes, even from the Ceiling to the Floor; and
on this Occaſion, as I had a thouſand Pounds worth of Jewels left with me
by Mr. <hi>Fiſher,</hi> whoſe Father kept a <pb n="274" facs="tcp:0095100802:281"/> Shop in
<hi>Caſtle-ſtreet, Dublin,</hi> to diſpoſe off for him, knowing how
much Dreſs com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mands Reſpect, I put a pair of Diamond Ear-rings into my
Ears, tied on a Diamond Solitaire, and as for Lace, and every other
Appurtenance to ſuit thoſe Ornaments, I had them of my own.

My glittering Appearance, and being in a Chair, ſoon b<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ought the Admiral down in a rich
Undreſs, as he ſuppoſed, by the Account delivered of me, I muſt be a
Wo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man of Quality; my Eyes were faſt en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gaged to the Books when he entered;
he begged my Pardon for his <hi>Diſhabille:</hi> I turned, and ſaid, I was
glad for once to ſee Learning and Valour ſo happily united.

But no ſooner did he find that I had only a Petition to deliver,
but his Coun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tenance changed to the ſevere, and he told me, he believed
People thought he had brought Home the Wealth of the <hi>Indies,</hi> whereas
he had not a ſingle Shilling to com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mand, no more than the meaneſt Sailor
aboard, the Money being all, as he ſaid, paid into the Treaſury, from
whence no <pb n="275" facs="tcp:0095100802:282"/> Man, without the utmoſt Difficulty, could
extract one ſingle Farthing of it; and hav<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing the Word of ſo great a Man,
I really believed it: A ſad Diſcouragement to all Sailors to venture their
Lives, when even their very Admirals are not rewarded!

However, as I told the Admiral the Woman was actually ſtarving,
he gave me a Guinea for her.

When I returned Home, I found in my Shop Lord <hi>D—le,</hi>
Mr. <hi>Skeffington,</hi> ſince dead, and another Gentleman waiting for me;
Lord <hi>D—le</hi> aſked what he had done, to provoke me to write with
ſo much Bitterneſs againſt him? Nay, my Lord, what had I done to
diſoblige you, or occaſion your beſtowing on me ſuch groſs Abuſe,
as Mr. <hi>Southwel</hi> aſſured me you did? My Lord ſaid, upon his
Honour it was falſe, and taking me by the Hand, aſſured me he would be a
Friend to me, provided I gave him no more of my Pen; but as from that Hour to
this, he never did me any kind of Service, I think the Obligation void on my
Side, and there<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore <pb n="276" facs="tcp:0095100802:283"/> preſent my Readers with the
follow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing Sketch of his inimitable Character.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To the Right Honourable the L—d V—t
<hi>D—LE.</hi>

                     <l>SATYRIC Muſe! let me prevail</l>
                     <l>On thee to picture <hi>D—le:</hi>
                     </l>
                     <l>Fierce, as the ſurly northern Gale,</l>
                     <l>Is proud, contemptuous <hi>D—le</hi>;</l>
                     <l>What makes the Artiſt rot in Jail?</l>
                     <l>Truſting the baſe-born <hi>D—le</hi>;</l>
                     <l>The Roſe-cheek'd Nymph turns wan, and pale,</l>
                     <l>Touch'd by infectious <hi>D—le</hi>;</l>
                     <l>Light Goſſamer would turn the Scale,</l>
                     <l>Weigh'd 'gainſt the Wit of <hi>D—le</hi>;</l>
                     <l>Nay, were thy Virtues put to Sale,</l>
                     <l>A Mite o'er-rates them, <hi>D—le:</hi>
                     </l>
                     <l>Honour and Equity ſhall fail,</l>
                     <l>E'er practis'd once by <hi>D—le</hi>;</l>
                     <l>For Hell may <hi>Charon</hi> hoiſt his Sail</l>
                     <l>O'er <hi>Styx,</hi> to waft curſt <hi>D—le:</hi>
                     </l>
                     <l>In ſhort, my Subject now grows ſtale,</l>
                     <l>I'm tir'd with Rhymes to <hi>D—le</hi>;</l>
                     <l>
                        <pb n="277" facs="tcp:0095100802:284"/>So were each Fault and Vice
combin'd,</l>
                     <l>That e'er debas'd the human Mind;</l>
                     <l>To ſum up all the black Detail,</l>
                     <l>I'd name the Scoundrel <hi>D—le.</hi>
                     </l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

And now, my L—d, as I believe I am the firſt Poet who ever
celebrated the illuſtrious Name of <hi>St. L—dg—r,</hi> which
Name, by your ſuppoſed noble, and right-well remembered Father's Account,
you are as much intitled to, as I am to that of <hi>Plantagenet,</hi> I hope
you will, according to your true Nobility, give me a hand<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſome Reward for
this extraordinary Pane<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gyric!

And here I cannot avoid relating, that I believe, the true Cauſe
of his L—d—p's Averſion to me, was this: A little Time after I
was ſeparated from my Huſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>band, as it was quite the Mode to attack me, he
employed one of his infernal Agents to inform me, he ſhould be glad to drink
a Diſh of Tea with me; I told the Wretch I did not know his
L—d—p, and there<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore hoped he would excuſe me.

               <pb n="278" facs="tcp:0095100802:285"/>But the <hi>Harridan,</hi> being reſolved
not to loſe her Reward, told my L—d I would meet him ſomewhere,
indeed I do not know the Place, and introduced to him a great, luſty,
maſculine Woman, dreſſed in a Calimanco Cap and Cloak, or long
Riding-hood. I believe his L—d—p wondered that ſuch a Creature
had made any Noiſe in the World; ſo telling her, he was ſorry he had
given her the Trouble of coming there, he gave her a Guinea, and haſtly
departed.

A few Nights after this, <hi>W—rſd—le</hi> had
<hi>The Cure for a Scold,</hi> altered from <hi>Shakeſpear</hi>'s <hi>Taming
of a Shrew,</hi> into a Ballad Opera, by Mr. <hi>P—n,</hi> played for his
own Benefit; I wrote a flaming Pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>logue to it, in Honour of my fair
Coun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>trywomen, and <hi>W—rſd—le</hi> inſiſted on my going to
ſee it, aſſuring me, he would have a Lettice ſecured entirely for me,
or any Friends I ſhould pleaſe to bring, and would himſelf take care of
placing me, and alſo guarding me ſafe out, for really I was very much
afraid of receiving ſome Inſult.

               <pb n="279" facs="tcp:0095100802:286"/>On theſe Promiſes I ventured to go; when
behold! the Lettice was full; but that was no Matter, the Ladies, though my
in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>timate Friends, quickly decamped, and Mrs. <hi>Dub—g,</hi> the
Fidler's Wife, de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>clared ſhe had like to faint at the Sight of the <hi>odious
Creature!</hi> the Rev. Mr. <hi>Gr—n</hi> alſo took to his Heels, ſo
I had indeed the whole Lettice for me and my Company, which were two young
Miſſes, Daughters to my Landlady.

My <hi>Gorgon</hi> Face, inſtead of turning my Enemies into
Stone, clapped Wings to their Feet, and made them fly down Stairs, like ſo
many feathered <hi>Mercuries,</hi> Parſon and all, tho' he was bulky, and
tipſy, and dull, and ſo forth; tho' indeed, thoſe Qualities might make
him deſcend with the greater Velocity, and give him a natural Alacrity in
ſinking.

However, by their precipitant Flight, I got the front Row.

When the Play began, I forgot to keep up my Fan, and two Gentlemen
of Diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tinction in the Pit bowed to me; pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſently after the Orange Girl
came up, and <pb n="280" facs="tcp:0095100802:287"/> ſaid a Gentleman deſired I would accept
of half a Dozen Oranges; I aſked who it was? and ſhe ſhewed me a Perſon
dreſſed in Scarlet, trimmed with Black; as I did not know him, I told her
it was a Miſtake, and a young Girl, who followed her in, ſaid, that was
L—d <hi>D—le,</hi> and that the Compliment was intended for her;
but the Orange Girl, calling her very fami<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liarly by her Name, which was
<hi>Nancy Raymond,</hi> ſwore to the contrary; for, ſaid ſhe, you know
how you uſed my L—d. They talked to one another in the vulgar Tongue,
being exceedingly well known to each other, having both followed the ſame
Occupation of Orange and Oyſter Selling, and both came up Stairs into the
World.

To compoſe the Animoſity, I bought ſome Fruit, and though I
really paid for it, I doubt not but his L—d—p did alſo.

When the Play was over, to which I moſt heartily repented that I
went, <hi>W—rſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>d—le</hi> came to put me into a Chair, ſaid he
would ſup with me, and kept his Word.

               <pb n="281" facs="tcp:0095100802:288"/>I related to him the Play-Houſe
Adven<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ture, and asked him what kind of a Man L—d <hi>D—le</hi> was?
He told me, he was both a very looſe, and a very unge<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nerous Man, Qualities
which no way re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>commended him to me; ſo being honoured with a ſecond
Meſſage from him, I, with an abſolute, <hi>Sir, not I,</hi>
diſmiſſed me back the cloudy Meſſenger.

But to return:

The next Day a moſt ugly, ſquinting, mean looking Fellow,
whoſe good Clothes made his Awkwardneſs but the more con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpicuous, came
in to buy ſome Prints; his Mind was portrayed in his Countenance, where
Impudence and Ignorance ſeemed to vie for Pre-eminence; however, he ſpoke
to me with great Civility, and perceiving, by his Accent, that he was an
<hi>Hibernian,</hi> I aſked him, how long he had been in <hi>London?</hi>
Curioſity lead me into a great deal of Chat with him, and as he knew every
great Family in <hi>Ireland,</hi> their Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vants at leaſt, he was able to
give me a good deal of Intelligence: I then enquired, whether Buſineſs or
Pleaſure had brought <pb n="282" facs="tcp:0095100802:289"/> him to <hi>London?</hi> He
ſaid, both; and pull<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing out his Pocket-Book, told me, he would ſurprize
me; I cannot ſay indeed but he did; for he ſhewed me Dr. <hi>Swift</hi>'s
Head, engraven in Vellum, not in ſize much larger than a ſmall Locket,
ſuch as they wear in Rings, yet ſo extremely like the Original, that there
was no Occaſion to write the Name under it: Several more Pieces of the ſame
curious Work he ſhewed to me, and ſaid, he hoped to make his Fortune by
them in <hi>London.</hi>

I told him, I was afraid he would be diſappointed, as Painting
and Statuary were the Taſte of the <hi>Engliſh</hi> Nobility; beſide,
this is Work more ſuited to a Wo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man than a Man; if I could do it, it might
turn to Account to me. Upon which, of his own Accord, he begged I would paſs
his Works for mine, and that he would give me a third part of the Profit
ariſing from the Sale of them: he gave me to un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>derſtand he very well knew
who I was, and that our united Intereſt might be ſer<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>viceable to each
other, an Offer I did not reject.

               <pb n="283" facs="tcp:0095100802:290"/>As he had many fine Mantlings cut, he could
very quickly inſert the Arms, ſo I deſired he would finiſh one for
General <hi>Ch—h—l</hi>; he obeyed me, and I wait<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed on the old
Gentleman with it, and a few complimentary Lines, which I have now forgot. I
ſent in my Preſents, and the General deſired I might be ſhewn in: He
was in a very magnificent Drawing<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>room, adorned with Stucco Work, the
op<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>poſite Door opened into a Garden, full blown;—the General was
ſeated on a rich Sopha, at a Table adorned with Dreſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſing-plate. He
deſired I might ſit down on a Sopha, oppoſite to him, and ordered his
Servant to remove the Table; there were ſeveral Vaſes filled with Flowers,
ſweetly ſmelling round the Chamber; and, for my part, I rather imagined I
was in ſome <hi>Aſian</hi> Palace, than a Houſe in
<hi>Groſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>venor-ſtreet.</hi>

He thanked me for my Preſent,
<q rend="inline">"But, Madam, ſaid he, it is to me quite
uſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>leſs, as all my Houſe is Stucco Work; however, if you'll be ſo kind
as to come up ſtairs with me, we may perhaps find <pb n="284" facs="tcp:0095100802:291"/>
ſome Place, where a Nail may be driven without Injury."</q>

As the old Gentleman doubted I might poſſibly miſtake his
Meaning, he was go<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing to explain himſelf; upon which I took up the Picture,
and in very great Confuſion made the beſt Speed out of his Houſe.

I had not walked above twenty Yards, when one of the General's
Footmen over<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>took me, who told me, his Maſter was afraid I might fall in a
Fever, if I walked in the Heat of ſo warm a Day, and there<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore deſired I
would accept of a Guinea to pay my Chair; I took it, and returned my
Compliments.

As there was ſomething humorous in the General's Behaviour, I
addreſſed him the next Day in the following Lines:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To the Hon. Gen. <hi>CH—H—L.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>FIVE Weeks, Great <hi>Ch—ll,</hi> to my Coſt,</l>
                        <l>Cutting your Coat of my Arms I loſt;</l>
                        <l>I por'd my Eyes, I ſoil'd my Rayment,</l>
                        <l>Not doubting of a gen'rous Payment:</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="285" facs="tcp:0095100802:292"/>When, well I wot, your whole
Deſign</l>
                        <l>Was bent to quarter your's with mine.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Curſe on your plaguy Stucco Work;</l>
                        <l>Sure 'twas invented hy ſome <hi>Turk,</hi>
                        </l>
                        <l>To bid to Chriſtian Art Defiance,</l>
                        <l>And overturn each beaut'ous Science;</l>
                        <l>No Nail, forſooth, their <hi>Paſte</hi> muſt
enter,</l>
                        <l>Would one were ſtuck in the Inventor!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>But will a Chief of <hi>Marlborough</hi>'s Strain,</l>
                        <l>The Off'ring of the Muſe diſdain,</l>
                        <l>Or give her Reaſon to complain?</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Should I be ſeiz'd by Bailiff's Setter,</l>
                        <l>What muſt I ſay? that you're my Debtor;</l>
                        <l>Why, if they threat me with a Jail,</l>
                        <l>I'll ſurely ſend to you for Bail.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>The Muſe and Hero ne'er ſhould quar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rel,</l>
                        <l>Our Bays thrives beſt beneath your Laurel:</l>
                        <l>Your Province is to ſhine in Fight,</l>
                        <l>But our's your noble Acts to write.</l>
                        <l>
                           <hi>Achilles</hi>' Deeds had loſt their Glory,</l>
                        <l>'Till famous made by <hi>Homer</hi>'s Story:</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="286" facs="tcp:0095100802:293"/>Nor can You eternize your Name,</l>
                        <l>'Till we conſign your Praiſe to Fame.</l>
                        <l>Want damps the Poets genial Fire,</l>
                        <l>Bounty can Thoughts ſublime inſpire;</l>
                        <l>So, cruſted o'er with Flint and Clay,</l>
                        <l>The Di'mond ſcarce emits a Ray,</l>
                        <l>'Till diſencumber'd of the Mold,</l>
                        <l>Poliſh'd with Art, and ſet in Gold,</l>
                        <l>Reſplendent Glory it diſplays,</l>
                        <l>And rivals <hi>Phoebus</hi>' Noontide Blaze.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

I never received any Anſwer to theſe Lines, but in a very
ſhort time after I heard the General was Dead.

I gave the young Man both his Coat of Arms and the Guinea; ſo we
reſolved next to addreſs the Earl of <hi>Stair,</hi> then Veldt
Marſhal.

It is a very great Loſs to me, that by the Ignorance of my
Daughter half of my Writings were burned, for ſhe never ſcru<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pled, if even
the Fire was bad, to take a whole Bundle of them to enliven it; but whether
this may be any Loſs to the World I muſt leave to their Judgment.

               <pb n="287" facs="tcp:0095100802:294"/>I can recollect but very few Lines of the
Poem to his Excellency, which were as follows:
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To his Excellency the Earl of <hi>STAIR.</hi>

                     <epigraph>
                        <q>
                           <l>Arma Virumque cano.</l>
                           <bibl>Virg. Aen.</bibl>
                        </q>
                     </epigraph>
                     <l>IN <hi>Rome,</hi> when all was Happineſs and Eaſe,</l>
                     <l>In the full Splendor of voluptuous Days,</l>
                     <l>Their Chiefs neglected ſought the ſilent Shade,</l>
                     <l>'Till loudly ſummon'd to their Country's Aid.</l>
                     <l>For when tempeſtuous Ills aſſault a Realm,</l>
                     <l>They call their ableſt Pilot to the Helm;</l>
                     <l>To guard their Freedom, to preſerve their Fame;</l>
                     <l>So God-like <hi>Stair,</hi> ſo <hi>Cincinnatus</hi>
came!</l>
                     <l>Alike illuſtrious in their Country's Cauſe,</l>
                     <l>Guardians of dying Liberty and Laws.</l>
                     <l>Accept, my Lord, this Off'ring, nor re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fuſe</l>
                     <l>The varied Labours of an artleſs Muſe:</l>
                     <l>No H<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                           <desc>•</desc>
                        </gap>rald can add
Luſtre to thy Birth,</l>
                     <l>No Poet juſtly praiſe thy noble Worth;</l>
                     <l>
                        <pb n="288" facs="tcp:0095100802:295"/>Yet let the fair Attempt Acceptance
find,</l>
                     <l>And my weak Sex plead to thy gen'rous Mind;</l>
                     <l>What Wonders then may I hereafter do?</l>
                     <l>At once protected, and inſpir'd by You!</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

A very fine young Gentleman undertook to deliver my Preſent to
the Earl, and a Servant ſhewed me into a Parlour. In a few Minutes the
Gentleman returned, and ſaid my Lord deſired to ſee me; ſo he handed me
up into a full Levee of Stars, and different coloured Ribbons. As I had never
before been in ſo auguſt an Aſſembly, I was ready to die with Shame,
eſpecially as there was not one of my own Sex to keep me in Countenance. My
Lord in a moſt polite manner thanked me for the Honour, as he termed it, I
had done him; and the Noblemen, after his Example, ſeemed to contend who
ſhould praiſe me moſt; to which I could make no other Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turn than
Courteſies and Bluſhes.

At length, the Earl of <hi>Stair</hi> ſaid there was a Defect in
the placing the Swords, which go through the Veldt Marſhal's Arms,
<pb n="289" facs="tcp:0095100802:296"/> which he would willingly have altered; and brought me
out a Print of the Noblemen's Arms, who held the ſame Dignity in
<hi>France,</hi> as a Pattern; I told his Lordſhip I could eaſily alter it:

<q rend="inline">"Pray then do, Madam, returned he, for I admire
your Work ſo much, that I would willingly have it quite compleat."</q>
Accordingly, it was finiſhed, and the next Morning I waited on his Excellency
with it, when, to my great Surprize, I had no Admiſſion to him, but a
Footman brought down five Guineas to me.

I was not a little ſurprized at this ſudden Alteration in his
Lordſhip's Mind. But what had the Fool, who did the Work, done? truly told
Major <hi>Elliotſon,</hi> that I made a Hand of his Performances; he told my
Lord,—who vexed at being im<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>poſed upon, ſent me the Trifle
above<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mentioned, which was not, by any means, a Payment for the Labour and
Curioſity of the Work, and what, from a Perſon of his Station, I ſhould
not have thought an extraordinary Reward even for the Lines.

               <pb n="290" facs="tcp:0095100802:297"/>So, finding the Folly of the Man, I would
not undertake to diſpoſe of any more cut Vellum, but left him to make his
moſt of it.

I ſhould never have thought this Fellow worth ſpeaking of,
only that my Huſband has ſaid he was my G<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>llant, not that I owe any Reverence or Honour to him, or re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gard
what he can ſay, any more than the idle Wind, but that I would not have
ſuch an Imputation laid on my Underſtanding, to ſay I made Choice of a
low-born, ugly, illiterate Scoundrel. No, no; Mr. <hi>P—n</hi> may reſt
aſſured, that if I would have done him the Honour to exalt his Horn like
that of an Unicorn, it ſhould, at leaſt, have been to me a
<hi>Cornu-Copia.</hi>

But, alas! poor I, have been for many Years a <hi>Noun
Subſtantive,</hi> obliged to ſtand alone, which, praiſe to the eternal
Goodneſs! I have done, notwithſtanding the various Efforts of my Enemies to
deſtroy me, many of whom I have lived to triumph over, though they
encompaſſed me on every Side, like ſo many Bulls of <hi>Baſan:</hi> and
though they ſhould now kick up their <pb n="291" facs="tcp:0095100802:298"/> Heels, like ſo
many wild Aſſes in the Valley of <hi>Geohron</hi>; though the Dunces
ſhould make Songs of me, and though
<q>
                  <l>Envy ſhou'd my faireſt Deeds belie,</l>
               </q> I think it
would not afflict me, but that I ſhould be able to convince them I had, at
leaſt, Patience, Hope, and Charity, ſuffi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cient to make them aſhamed of
the Injuries they have been weak and wicked enough to offer.

Becauſe I would now fairly challenge my moſt malicious Foes to
anſwer from the Tribunal of their own Conſcience, what Provocation I ever
gave them to uſe me ill?

Whom have I defrauded or belyed? Nay, indeed, of whom have I
ſpoke half the Evil which it was in my Power to do? There are few Characters
immaculate, and had I an Inclination to retaliate Injuries, I am, I believe,
able enough to do it.

And ſometimes one has ſo ſtrong an In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>clination to it, that
it is hard to reſiſt, eſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pecially when a Lady of Quality, (that is
<pb n="292" facs="tcp:0095100802:299"/> by Marriage, for her Grandfather was a Smith at
<hi>G—n,</hi> and kept the Sign of the Horſeſhoe there, as I have
frequently heard the late Lord <hi>Montgarret</hi> relate) could, becauſe I
preſumed to beg ſhe would do me the Honour of being a Sub<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſcriber to me,
a Privilege I thought a long Acquaintance might have entitled me to take, order
my Maid to be kicked; and as I am really aſhamed to uſe her Lady<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſhip's
Words on the Occaſion, being much too indecent for a Repetition, methinks
ſhe might have ſpared them, eſpecially to one who knew her too!
<q>
                  <l>When ſhe was a Maid, if ſhe e'er was a Maid;</l>
                  <l>When afraid of a Man, if ſhe e'er was afraid.</l>
               </q>

Heaven knows poor ******* had but the Leavings of half the Town;
but he botched up a broken Reputation with Matrimony, an admirable Salve!

               <pb n="293" facs="tcp:0095100802:300"/>As ſhe was pleaſed to ſay, my Life
could be nothing but a continued Series of —, I am aſhamed to ſpeak
the Word;—I dare ſay had it been ſo, ſhe would have purchaſed my
Book ſooner than the Bible, to indulge her private Meditations, eſpecially
if I had the wicked Art of paint<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing up Vice in attractive Colours, as too many
of our Female Writers have done, to the Deſtruction of Thouſands, amongſt
whom Mrs. <hi>Manly</hi> and Mrs. <hi>Haywood</hi> de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſerve the foremoſt
Rank.

But what extraordinary Paſſions theſe Ladies may have
experienced, I know not; far be ſuch Knowledge from a modeſt Woman: Indeed
Mrs. <hi>Haywood</hi> ſeems to have dropped her former luſcious Stile, and,
for Variety, preſents us with the in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſipid: Her <hi>Female Spectators</hi>
are a Col<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lection of trite Stories, delivered to us in ſtale and worn-out
Phraſes: bleſs'd Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>volution!
<q>
                  <l>Yet, of the two, leſs dang'rous is th' Offence,</l>
                  <l>To tire the Patience, than miſlead the Senſe.</l>
               </q>

               <pb n="294" facs="tcp:0095100802:301"/>And here give me Leave to obſerve, that
amongſt the Ladies who have taken up the Pen, I never met with but two who
de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſerved the Name of a <hi>Writer</hi>; the firſt is Madam
<hi>Dacier,</hi> whoſe Learning Mr. <hi>Pope,</hi> while he is indebted to
her for all the Notes on <hi>Homer,</hi> endeavours to depreciate; the ſecond
is Mrs. <hi>Catherine Philips,</hi> the matchleſs <hi>Orinda,</hi> celebrated
by Mr. <hi>Cowly,</hi> Lord <hi>Orrery,</hi> and all the Men of Genius who
lived in her Time.

I think this incomparable Lady was one of the firſt Refiners of
the <hi>Engliſh</hi> Numbers; Mr. <hi>Cowly</hi>'s, though full of Wit, have
ſomewhat harſh and uncouth in them, while her Sentiments are great and
virtuous; her Diction natural, eaſy, flow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing, and harmonious.

Love ſhe wrote upon with Warmth, but then it was ſuch as
Angels might ſhare in without injuring their original Purity. Her Elegy on
her Huſband's Daughter, is a Proof of the Excellency and Tenderneſs of her
own Heart, rarely met with in a Step-mother; nor could I ever read it without
Tears, a Proof it was wrote from her Heart.

               <pb n="295" facs="tcp:0095100802:302"/>And dear <hi>Orinda!</hi> gentle Shade!
ſweet Poet! Honour of thy Sex! Oh, if thou haſt Power to do it, inſpire
me! for ſure Thou art in the happy Bowers of Bliſs, praiſing that eternal
Goodneſs, who, to the Loſs of this World, took Thee early away to adorn the
Holieſt of Holies, where in Songs of Love, not ill-eſſay'd below, great
Saint Thou continueſt to celebrate thy Maker.
<q>
                  <l>Oh pour thy Spirit o'er my Lays,</l>
                  <l>Coeleſtial Melody inſpire!</l>
                  <l>Sweet as the Royal Pſalmiſt's Lyre,</l>
                  <l>That I with Thee may hymn his Praiſe.</l>
               </q>

I cannot, except my own Country-woman, Mrs. <hi>Grierſon,</hi>
find out another female Writer, whoſe Works are worth reading; ſhe indeed
had a happy and well-improved Genius. I remember ſhe wrote a very fine Poem
on Biſhop <hi>Berkley's Ber<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mudian</hi> Scheme; the Plan of it was this: She
ſuppoſes that the Night before St. <hi>Paul</hi> ſuffered, an Angel
appeared to comfort him with the future Proſpect of the Church,
<pb n="296" facs="tcp:0095100802:303"/> and the Growth of Chriſtianity; the Angel informs him
that in ſuch a Year there ſhall be born in the Weſtern Iſland a great
Apoſtle, who ſhall be known by this Token:
<q>
                  <l>'Tis he from Words firſt rids Philoſophy,</l>
                  <l>And lays the dull material Syſtem by,</l>
                  <l>Affrights the daring Libertine to find</l>
                  <l>Naught round him, but the pure, all-holy Mind;</l>
                  <l>The bluſhing Sinner from his Covert draws</l>
                  <l>Of Matters various Forms, and Motions Laws,</l>
                  <l>His only Fortreſs from the Atheiſt takes,</l>
                  <l>And his atomic World at once unmakes.</l>
               </q> I am ſorry
that I cannot recollect any more of this Poem, or that the Prophecy con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tained
in it of the Biſhop's converting the <hi>Indians</hi> was, by the Avarice of
ſome in Power, fruſtrated; for ſurely he was well fitted for that holy
Miſſion, having Learn<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing and Innocence in Perfection. Nor do I at all
doubt that had this true Embaſſador <pb n="297" facs="tcp:0095100802:304"/> of
<hi>Chriſt</hi> been enabled to purſue the ſacred Purpoſe of his Soul,
but the Power of working Miracles would have been added to his other heavenly
Gifts.

I have been accuſed of writing bitterly againſt the Clergy; I
never did, but when they forgot their own High Calling; one B— in
particular, ſays,
<q rend="inline">"that I <hi>Alexander</hi> the Copper-ſmith have
done him much Wrong, in talking about Pence, and Farthings, and ſuch ſmall
Coin, whereas he has within theſe two and twenty Years, given me the Sum
total of ſixteen Pounds <hi>Iriſh,</hi> in hard Gold, out of which, had I
been induſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>trious, I might have made a comfortable Livelihood:"</q> But I am
afraid, had he been in my Caſe, he would have ſtarved. Happy for him his
Father was born be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore him, and <hi>Happy is the Son whoſe Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther is gone
to the Devil,</hi> is an old Pro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>verb. But indeed, now my L—, I take it a
little unkindly, that you ſhould declare in public, that you had me, as well
as my Maid, <hi>ſur la Tapis</hi>; methinks, tho' you are a Conjurer, you
need not be a <pb n="298" facs="tcp:0095100802:305"/> Blab: Oh, fy! is it thus you return my
generous Paſſion? for, by your own Ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>count, you did not pay me well; why
<hi>Juggy Mackſhane,</hi> the Chairman's Wife, had a better Price from you,
and you made her Son a Parſon, while you quarrelled with mine for having his
Bu<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ton holes worked in the beſt
Taſte, and told him, he muſt be very wicked to be guilty of ſuch
Extravagance: Were not you a little cenſorious, think you? Why you, tho' in
the Vauward of your Youth, have yet a ſtrong Daſh of the Cox—b, and
might excuſe it in a Boy. Well, but as theſe ſaid ſixteen Pounds are
ſo inſiſted on, I acknow<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ledge to have received them, and ſhould have
thanked you, but that you ſent me Word, in <hi>London,</hi> you did not know
who I was, and that it was very impudent in me to apply to you for Charity; but
leſt you ſhould again forget me, I am willing to be your ſweet
Remembrancer: And, oh! by our chaſte Love, I conjure you to make my Huſband
a Dean; ſure this you ought to do, when you ſay you made him a Cuckhold;
beſides, you know it was in <pb n="299" facs="tcp:0095100802:306"/> that ſweet Hope I
yielded up my Heart; then be a gentle Mediator between us, plead for me as you
did for the fair
<note n="*" place="bottom">Mrs. <hi>Pilkington.</hi>
               </note>Quaker;
tho' Hiſtorians relate, that your Lady would have been as well pleaſed, had
you been leſs aſſiduous in that Affair.

And now, I confeſs, I am a little ſpite<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ful, but it is only
Jealouſy; ſend me an hundred Pounds to cure the Anguiſh your Infidelity
has given me, and I will try to conquer my hopeleſs ill-ſtar'd
Paſſion!

Your L—'s Poetry in my Praiſe I never can forget; and as
it would be a Loſs to the World, if any Part of ſo juſtly an admired
Author's Works ſhould be bu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ried in Oblivion; take, oh World! the following
Lines:
<q>
                  <l>I ſcorn to drag about a Flame</l>
                  <l>For any She, that thinks my Love Blame,</l>
                  <l>I'll take a Reſolution to be free,</l>
                  <l>Without Return, I ſcorn to burn,</l>
                  <l>And oh! I will be free.</l>
               </q>

               <pb n="300" facs="tcp:0095100802:307"/>Your ſecond Poem is, I confeſs, a little
obſcure, yet, no doubt, may have much Meaning in it:
<q>
                  <l>Oh thou,</l>
                  <l>Jow Jow, Bow Wough!</l>
               </q>

And indeed, I remember another R— R— Author, who
entertained ſome very polite Company with the following Epi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>taph, written as
he aſſured us, by himſelf, it is very laconic:
<q>
                  <l>Here lies Major <hi>Brady,</hi> and St. <hi>Comeen,</hi>
                  </l>
                  <l>Sure ſuch a Saint, and ſuch a Major never were
ſeen.</l>
               </q> If the curious Reader cannot digeſt this Heaven-born Verſe,
why let him be gra<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>minivercus, and chew the Cud.

But pray, my L—, do not you think it was a little ill judged
of you, to attack my Character at the Expence of your own? and to deſcribe
yourſelf as ſuch a Cormo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rant in Love, that you muſt have two Fe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>males at
once; why, <hi>Turk Gregory</hi> never did ſuch Feats in Arms;
<q>
                  <pb n="301" facs="tcp:0095100802:308"/>
                  <l>Oh rav'nous Hell Kite!</l>
                  <l>Wou'dſt thou have Maid, and Miſtreſs</l>
                  <l>At one fell
<note n="*" place="bottom">This Word admits of various Readings,
ſome call it <hi>Swoop,</hi> ſome <hi>Souſe,</hi> ſome <hi>Swop,</hi>
which latter I chuſe.</note>Swop?</l>
               </q> Truth is, I am afraid this is
apocryphal, and will win no Credit, eſpecially as it was after your
Expedition to the South of <hi>France,</hi> when you were ill of the —,
<hi>&c. &c. &c.</hi>

But prithee now, for I think I am en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>titled to talk a little
familiarly to you; do not boaſt of Abilities, either of Mind or Body, which
you never had; no Perſon living will believe you, any more than they would
me, if I ſhould tell them I had been a great Beauty, when they could ſee no
Remains of it.

But you are, as the good Man ſaid of <hi>Nero,</hi> a very
Wag!

Hang it, why ſhould you and I go to Logger-heads? Order your
Equipage to drive here to-morrow Morning, and let us buſs, as we uſed to
do, and be Friends.

Otherwiſe, I have two or three Pieces <pb n="302" facs="tcp:0095100802:309"/> of
the ſame Stuff, of which I have given you Samples at your Service.

Lord, 'tis a ſtrange Thing that all B— will needs be
Authors! now would they avoid manifeſting their Dulneſs, we the illiterate
might conclude they were Men of profound Erudition, and that on that Account,
they were advanced to their high Stations: but the Devil owes ſome of them a
Shame, and is, when they do his Work, an excellent Paymaſter; yet it is
ſtrange, this ſame Dulneſs is not confined to them, it deſcends to
their Sons, witneſs our celebrated Comedy, <hi>The Suſpicious Husband,</hi>
which, but for it's neither hav<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing one Character well drawn, any Plot, any
thing like a Sentiment, and wrote too in a gallimawfry Stile, might be a good
Performance; but as long as it is ſtamped with a Name, it paſſes current,
tho' Ster<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ling No-Senſe.

But, my L—d B—, tho' I have di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>greſſed from you,
yet ſee my Love! I re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turn again: Ah, it was well I did not, even from
Scripture, pick up an unſavory Si<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mile; I am much offended that you ſhould
<pb n="303" facs="tcp:0095100802:310"/> ſay, when I was laſt at Shrift with your Holineſs,
that we had no better Accom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>modation for our Feaſt of Love, but a Carpet,
whereas I inſiſt on it, that the Pe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nance you enjoyned me, was as eaſy as
a Down-bed could make it; ſo here I inva<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lidate your Evidence in one Point,
and the reſt of your Accuſation naturally falls to the Ground.

But being now tired at laughing at you, I'll tell you an
<hi>Arabian</hi> Tale. There was a really generous Man, who built a fine
Pa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vilion, to which were an Hundred Open<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ings; as the Poor had free acceſs to
it, they were relieved by him at every Opening and Avenue; they bleſſed his
Goodneſs, and his Fame flew far.

There was in his Neighbourhood the Son of an old Miſer, who was
left im<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>menſely rich; he was of a ſordid Temper, yet emulous of Praiſe,
ſo he built ſuch an<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>other Pavilion, and in like Manner diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tributed Alms;
it ſo fortuned, that one old Man attacked him ſeven times in the ſame
Morning at ſeven of the Entrances, he met him again at the eighth, and
aſked <pb n="304" facs="tcp:0095100802:311"/> for an Alms, at this he loſt all Patience, and
cried,
<q rend="inline">"Did not I ſeven times re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieve you?"</q>
               <q rend="inline">"Ah, quoth the poor Man, Lord bleſs my Lord
<hi>Aboulcaſem,</hi> I have walked three hundred times round his Pavilion,
been three hundred times relieved, and yet I am certain he does not know my
Face.</q>

So, to apply the Story, God bleſs my dear loved Lord
<hi>Kingsborough,</hi> who gives Hundreds without blowing a Trumpet be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore his
good Deeds, or defaming the Cha<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>racters of thoſe whom his Bounty
bleſſes.

I have often been ſurprized at one of our C—s, which, to
ſhew my Charity, I will inſert.
<q>O Lord, who alone workeſt great Mar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vels! ſend down upon our
B— and C— the healthful Spirit of thy Grace.</q>
               <hi>Marvellous</hi> would it be indeed, if they had either <hi>Health,
Spirit,</hi> or <hi>Grace</hi>; no Doubt but the learned Compilers of the
Liturgy had their own Reaſons for this ſupernatural Invocation; but why
nothing leſs than a <pb n="305" facs="tcp:0095100802:312"/> Miracle ſhould bleſs theſe,
any more than any other Order of Men, I leave to ſome future Commentators,
and hope they will oblige us with Annotations on this extra<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ordinary
Ejaculation.

I would not incur the Cenſure of the Cl— ſo far as to
give a Hint that they are not <hi>ſound:</hi> No, no, many of them are; but
then it is ſo ſound as things that are hollow, Impiety hath made a Feaſt
of them, and now that their Bones are mar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rowleſs, their Blood is cold, and
Specula<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion dwells not in their Eyes; they hate us Youth. Gorbellied K—,
Bacon fed! ah, would we had the ſhaking of their Bags! I knew one of them,
who, without the leaſt Study, wrote the following two elegant and learned
Lines:
<q>
                  <l>Yon ſlanting Mountains glow with blue Marine,</l>
                  <l>And yon cornuted Moons two Horns give ſhine.</l>
               </q> I know
the Gentlemen had too much Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>deſty and Diffidence of their own ſuperior
<pb n="306" facs="tcp:0095100802:313"/> Talents to give their Works to the Preſs; but I hope,
as they are charitable, they won't be diſpleaſed, as they are above mak<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
Money of their Performances, that I ſhould, ſince they, though but little,
ſerve to ſwell my Volume, and, no doubt, will edify my Readers. I think I
have nothing to boaſt of as a Writer, but a great Memory, for if I could not
have retained <hi>Shakeſpear, Milton,</hi> &c. and the great Authors I
have laſt mentioned, to give a Taſte of their Wit, when I was myſelf at a
Loſs, I do not know how I could ever have com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>paſſed three Volumes of
Memoirs.

Indeed if I had printed all the Poetry that has been ſent me for
that purpoſe, ſince I came to this Kingdom, it would have proved as odd a
Medley, as any thing ever yet exhibited to publick View. I ſuppoſe every
one who fancied they had Wit, had a mind to ſee how it would look in Print,
but I muſt beg to be excuſed. Though the learned Mr. <hi>Timothy
Ticklepitcher</hi> preſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſed very hard for a Place, it would be a ſtrong
Proof of my Vanity, to inſert his anti ſublime Compliments to me.

               <pb n="307" facs="tcp:0095100802:314"/>Another poetical Gentleman wrote me a long
Letter in a Text Hand, which put me into a Palpitation of the Heart, as I was
about that time threatened, (for certain ſcan<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dalous Truths I have been
guilty of relat<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing) with ſome Law; and truly I hate that as much as Sir
<hi>John Falſtaff</hi> did Secu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rity: When I, in plain <hi>Engliſh,</hi>
ſet down undeniable Facts, they menace me with Law, I would as lieve they
would ſtop my Mouth with Ratsbane: But I find I am like Sir <hi>John,</hi>
not only witty myſelf, but am alſo the Occaſion that Wit is in others;
there is not an Halfpenny Paper can peep its Head out, but preſently my Name
muſt be dragged in by Head and Shoulders to grace it. But to the Letter:
Having recovered my Spirits, I read it over; and found a great many
Compli<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ments, with a Promiſe, that the profound Author would wait on me at
Four o'Clock. I never thought of it till the time appointed, when
<q>
                  <l>The punctual Devil kept his Word.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="308" facs="tcp:0095100802:315"/> I own I ſuppoſed he came to ſee if he could
<q>
                  <l>Convey out of my Box of Hints by a Trick,</l>
                  <l>Sincerely believing he dealt with Old Nick.</l>
               </q> And I
always ſuſpect Falſhood to lurk un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der a full Peruke. He juſt came in
with a huge fat Man, as fat as Butter, with him, but would not ſtay, for
which Reaſon I will not print his fond Letter, ſo I think I am even with
him. If I were any way given to be proud, I think I have a great deal of
Reaſon to be ſo, ſince I cannot go any where, as I am not very well
known, but I hear ſome Piece of my own Hiſtory, quite new. I am ſeen in
this Place and t'other Place, and ſay ſomething mighty witty to be
ſure!

I do not wonder that Perſons of For<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tune and Diſtinction of
this Kingdom go to <hi>England</hi> to ſpend their Time and E<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtates;
ſince here, be you as chaſte as Ice, or pure as Snow, thou ſhalt not
eſcape Calumny, eſpecially among your half-bred, half-witted Gentry, but
<q>
                  <pb n="309" facs="tcp:0095100802:316"/>
                  <l>Let my unhappy Tale be falſely told</l>
                  <l>By the raſh Young, or the ill-natur'd Old;</l>
                  <l>Let ev'ry Tongue it's various Cenſures chuſe,</l>
                  <l>Abſolve with Coldneſs, or with Spite ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cuſe,</l>
                  <l>Fair Truth, at laſt, her radiant Beams ſhall raiſe,</l>
                  <l>And, Malice vanquiſh'd, heighten'd Vir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tue's <hi>PRIOR</hi>
Praiſe.</l>
               </q>

In <hi>London</hi> almoſt every one, in the mid<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dling State of
Life, has ſome Employment or Diverſion to kill their Time; and here it is
the reverſe, we are all Gentry, where<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore the Females have no Amuſement
but that of SLANDER.

Where
<q>
                  <l>
                     <hi>Rufa,</hi> with her Comb of Lead,</l>
                  <l>Whiſpers that <hi>Sappho</hi>'s Hair is red.</l>
               </q>

I ſhould be very glad, e'er they look for the Mote in my Eye,
they would be pleaſed to pull the Beam out of their own. I could mention
Numbers of theſe Scandal-mon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gers, <pb n="310" facs="tcp:0095100802:317"/> who have ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Oh Lord! may be ſhe'll put us down in her
<hi>Memorials!</hi>"</q> But goon, incorrigible Dunces, too contemp<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tible for
my Notice: All I ſhall beg of the <hi>Men</hi> is, never to believe any thing
that is ſaid of me by a <hi>Woman,</hi> as it is more than Four to One it is
a Lye—But as the great <hi>Milton</hi>'s Genius could even deſcend to
Hell, ſo I think I muſt mention one Mrs. <hi>Ir—d—ll,</hi> who
hearing I got Money for my Work, a thing ſhe could never do, exclaimed
bitterly againſt me, nay, even kept her Bed for a Week on Account of it, and
wrote two or three very ſtupid Pa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pers againſt me; and though ſhe could
not ſhew her Wit, at leaſt ſhewed Envy, Ma<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lice, and all
Uncharitableneſs.

I know a very ingenious Gentleman, who, whenever he ſees a
Parcel of Females ſeated at their Tea, names the Chamber
<hi>Pandaemonium</hi>; and Dr. <hi>Young,</hi> in one of his Satires, ſays,
<q>
                  <l>Tea! how I tremble at the dreadful Stream!</l>
                  <l>As <hi>Lethe</hi> fatal to the Love of Fame;</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="311" facs="tcp:0095100802:318"/>What Devaſtations on thy Banks are
ſeen,</l>
                  <l>What Shades of mighty Names that once have been?</l>
               </q>

And I really cannot remember ever to have ſeen a Set of Ladies
tippling this Li<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>quor but Scandal ſtrait enſued; ay, even amongſt our new
Teachers, commonly called <hi>Moravians,</hi> amongſt whom I had, in
<hi>London,</hi> the Misfortune to live, and whom, though they took
themſelves to be inſpired, I really always believed to be under the
Deluſion of <hi>Satan.</hi>

One of the holy Siſters once told me the Devil inſpired
<hi>Milton:</hi> ay, and me into the Bargain: Truly ſhe did his infernal
Majeſty the greateſt Honour he ever yet received, and I could not avoid
thinking her either very ignorant or very wicked; but I comforted myſelf with
hoping that the former was her Fault, and that ſhe did not know how heinous a
Sin ſhe commit<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ted, when ſhe robbed the Maker of his Glory, and attributed
his beſt Gifts and Graces to the common Enemy of Man. I <pb n="312" facs="tcp:0095100802:319"/> think I might juſtly apply to theſe Secta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ries Mr.
<hi>Pope</hi>'s Lines:
<q>
                  <l>'Tis your's a <hi>Bacon,</hi> and a <hi>Locke</hi> to
blame,</l>
                  <l>A <hi>Newton</hi>'s Genius, and a Seraph's Flame;</l>
                  <l>But, oh! with One, Immortal One diſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>penſe</l>
                  <l>The Source of <hi>Newton</hi>'s Light, and <hi>Ba<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>con</hi>'s
Senſe!</l>
                  <l>Content each Emanation of his Fires,</l>
                  <l>That beams on Earth; each Science he inſpires,</l>
                  <l>Each Art he prompts, each Charm he can create,</l>
                  <l>Whate'er he gives, is giv'n for you to hate:</l>
                  <l>Go on, by all divine in Man, unaw'd,</l>
                  <l>But learn, ye Dunces, not to mock your God.</l>
               </q>

I believe theſe Wretches would be very proud of being
perſecuted; but our Go<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vernors, of the ſame Mind with the witty and gallant
Emperor <hi>Julian,</hi> vulgarly call<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed the <hi>Apoſtate,</hi> will neither
hinder them to aſſemble, nor preach, any more <pb n="313" facs="tcp:0095100802:320"/> than
he did the <hi>Galileans,</hi> unleſs they preach Sedition, and then they
come under the Penalty of the Law.

Poor <hi>Julian!</hi> the Chriſtians murdered him, for not
permitting them to murder each other. St. <hi>Gregory</hi> the Younger,
preaching old St. <hi>Gregory</hi>'s Funeral Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mon, forty Years after the
Death of <hi>Julian,</hi> when one would have thought Reſentment might be
alſo dead, (if he had any Cauſe for it) has theſe remarkable Words:
<q rend="inline">"And now, ſays he, here lies my Uncle dead, who
delivered you from the Perſecution of that old Bull-burning Tyrant
<hi>Julian</hi>: Now, who had a greater Hand in his Death than my Uncle? For
once, when he and his Captain of the Archers came in to hear Maſs, had he not
ſuddenly gone away, my Uncle would have kicked him."</q> The Tranſlator
ſays, he had more Difficulty with this Paſſage than all the reſt of the
Work; for he would fain have had the Kicking intended for the Captain of the
Archers, not being able to conceive, that the Emperor of the World
<pb n="314" facs="tcp:0095100802:321"/> ſhould be afraid that an old Prieſt ſhould kick
him.

But the old Prieſt propheſied that ſuch a Day this
Apoſtate ſhould die, and truly he took eſpecial Care that his Prophecy
ſhould be fulfilled, by hiring one of the Emperor's own Soldiers to put him
to Death.

I could ſay ſomething more; why ſhould I not; nay, out it
muſt: I believe, if my favourite Apoſtle St. <hi>Paul</hi> had not behaved
himſelf with more good Manners than our modern <hi>New Lighters,</hi> he
would not have <hi>almoſt</hi> perſuaded his Auditors to be Chri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtians;
how noble is his Anſwer on the Oc<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>caſion?

But he was as remarkably a fine Gentle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man, as he was a Saint, a
Martyr, and a Chriſtian; like Dr. <hi>Delany,</hi> whoſe preaching goes
even to the dividing of the Blood and Spirit. And let me here, dear Sir, beg
you will fulfil a Promiſe you gave me many Years ago, that you would at<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tend
my laſt Moments; if I ſend to you, will you refuſe to chear a dying
Sinner with Hope of Peace and Pardon; for the Doctrine of Damnation is now ſo
univerſally recei<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ved, <pb n="315" facs="tcp:0095100802:322"/> that Half the World are caſt
into Deſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pair.

Theſe poor Enthuſiaſts uſed, in <hi>London,</hi> to
ſteal every thing they could lay their Hands on from me, inſomuch that at
laſt they ſtole my one Pair of Shoes; and yet they brought Scripture
Authority for Theft, for they ſaid the Children of <hi>Iſrael borrowed
Jewels of Gold and Silver</hi> of the <hi>Egyptians,</hi> which they ran away
with, <hi>and they ſpoiled the</hi> Egyptians. I remember I once menti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>oned
this Paſſage to Dr. <hi>Delany,</hi> who underſtanding <hi>Hebrew</hi>
perfectly, turned over to it to there, where it is very differ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rently related:
For the <hi>Egyptians</hi> finding ſo many Plagues brought on them, and
particularly the Leproſy, with which theſe People were all infected,
ordered them to depart, but they declared they would not go, unleſs their
Hire was paid to them, and alſo ſo many Changes of Apparel, and Jewels of
Gold, given to ſupport them in their Pilgrimage; how they behaved
them<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelves in the Wilderneſs, is ſo well ſet forth in the <hi>Old
Teſtament,</hi> that it would puzzle a wiſer Head than mine to know how
they <pb n="316" facs="tcp:0095100802:323"/> became the peculiar Favourites of an im<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>partial and
unprejudiced Deity.

Indeed it were to be wiſhed, that ei<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther this learned and
excellent Divine, or ſome other of equal Abilities, if ſuch may be found,
would oblige the World with a new Tranſlation of the <hi>Old
Teſtament,</hi> ſince, as we now have it, it ſeems filled with
Incon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gruities, Indecencies, and ſhocking Abſur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dities, ſuch as the Holy
Spirit could never have dictated, <hi>whoſe Body is Light, and whoſe Shadow
Truth.</hi>

I beg pardon for this rambling Digreſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſion, and hope the
Divines will not cenſure me for it, as I only preſume to give them Hints,
which their ſuperior Knowledge may improve upon,
<q>
                  <l>And juſtify the Ways of God to Man.</l>
               </q>

For I intend not this Addreſs to the ig<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>norant Part of the
Clergy, who would many of them be more fit to till the Earth, than plant or
water the Goſpel, but to the learn<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed, juſt, and pious, that they may
remove Scruples from weak Minds, <hi>raiſe up thoſe</hi>
               <pb n="317" facs="tcp:0095100802:324"/>
               <hi>that are fallen, and finally, beat down Satan under
our Feet,</hi> which God of his infinite Mercy enable them to do, through the
Me<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rits and Mediation of our Lord <hi>Jeſus Chriſt.</hi>

But once more to return to my Shop. One Afternoon two young
Gentlemen came into it, one of whom aſked me for ſome Tea; I told him, I
did not ſell any, but that there was a Coffee-Houſe next Door, where he
might be ſupplied: He aſked me, would not I give a Diſh of Tea to a
Friend, and Relation? I ſaid, yes, with Pleaſure: Why then, ſaid he, this
Gentleman is Dean <hi>M<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                     <desc>•</desc>
                  </gap>ade</hi>'s
Son, of <hi>Cor<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1+ letters">
                     <desc>•…</desc>
                  </gap>,</hi> and my Name
is <hi>Bl—nd—n</hi>; as his Father was married to Brigadier
<hi>Meade's</hi> Widow, I gave them an Invitation into the Parlour, and ordered
ſome Tea to be got ready. I was really very glad to ſee any Perſon from
<hi>Ireland,</hi> particularly thoſe I was allied to, nor could I conceive
that they came in that manner only to inſult a Woman, who never of<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fended
either of them; indeed, as for the Dean's Son, I muſt acquit him, for he did
not affront me, but I took it ill he ſhould bring with him a Fellow he knew
deſigned it.

               <pb n="318" facs="tcp:0095100802:325"/>There was nothing groſs, indecent,
abu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſive, or unmannerly, which this Wretch did not, without the leaſt
Provocation, ſay to me, till, at length, though I am not really of a
paſſionate Diſpoſition, I loſt all Pa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tience, and thinking myſelf
very much his Betters, I aſked him, whether his Father continued to ſell
Butter-milk to the Poor at a Penny a Quart, with his own Hand, in a hard
Seaſon, when every other Perſon gave their's away.

Upon this he very politely threatened to kick me, but as he was
then at a great Di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtance from his own Dunghill, and I am ſure I give
<hi>Caſtle-Bl—nd—n</hi> its proper Title when I ſtile it one, I
was not in the leaſt intimidated, and only bade him go ſhew his Slaves how
choleric he was, and
<q>
                  <l>Make his Bondmen tremble.</l>
               </q>

And here excuſe me, Sir, if I give your Picture to the World.
When you make Love, if any but the leaden-darted <hi>Cupid</hi> ever touched
your unworthy, groveling, baſe Heart, your Argument is that of a
<pb n="219" facs="tcp:0095100802:326"/> Highwayman's, you bring a loaden Piſtol, clap it to
the Fair-one's Boſom, and ſay,
<q rend="inline">"De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>liver your Treaſure, or you are
dead."</q>

Could not you have taken your ancient Father, the old Stick
picker's Advice, and have coaxed the Girl, and have given her a Cherry-coloured
Top-knot? but you
<q>
                  <l>Were like the haughty, hot-brain'd <hi>Spa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>niard,</hi>
                  </l>
                  <l>Inſtead of Love, you brought a Poignard.</l>
               </q>

And filthy as your rotten Leg, and more corrupted Soul, muſt
have been every thing you could produce; for thou art the Quinteſſence of
Filth, and I am weary of writing, when every thing baſe, every thing low,
every thing inſolent is the Theme, and all compriſed in pretty Maſter
<hi>Jacky Bl—nd—n.</hi>

As I have mentioned an Attempt to write a Play, which
<q>
                  <l>—Is a bold Pretence</l>
                  <l>To Learning, Genius, Wit, and Eloquence.</l>
               </q>
               <pb n="320" facs="tcp:0095100802:327"/> I preſent my Readers with an Act of it, and would,
with great Pleaſure, finiſh it, but that I am certain our preſent Manager
would never permit it to be played, m<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1+ letters">
                  <desc>•…</desc>
               </gap>ly becauſe it was mine; for ſince his Prejudice againſt me,
though how I incurred his Diſpleaſure I know not, carried him him ſo far
as to ſay a Prologue I wrote for the King's Birth-Night was Blaſphemy, I
don't know but he may be ingenious enough to prove the Play to be
High-Treaſon; but leſt my Readers ſhould be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lieve me capable of writing
any thing like it, I preſent them with the Lines.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     PROLOGUE.
                     <l>WHILE foreign Climes are rent with dire Alarms,</l>
                     <l>The Shout of Battle and the Clang of Arms,</l>
                     <l>
                        <hi>Britannia,</hi> happy in her Monarch's Care,</l>
                     <l>Enjoys at once the Fruits of Peace, and War;</l>
                     <l>
                        <pb n="321" facs="tcp:0095100802:328"/>And while her Thunders o'er the Ocean
roll,</l>
                     <l>And ſpread her riſing Fame from Pole to Pole,</l>
                     <l>Sees her victorious Fleets the Sea com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mand,</l>
                     <l>And Plenty, Wealth, and Pleaſure, bleſs the Land:</l>
                     <l>Fair Science joyful, lifts her laurell'd Head,</l>
                     <l>The Muſes, in the Groves delighted tread;</l>
                     <l>Or, near the Azure Fount, or haunted Spring,</l>
                     <l>Their great INSPIRER and PROTECTOR ſing;</l>
                     <l>The Woods, the Vales reſound AUGUSTUS' Name,</l>
                     <l>His glorious Actions, and immortal Fame!</l>
                     <l>Shou'd Heav'n th' inimitable <hi>Shakeſpear</hi>
raiſe</l>
                     <l>To breathe Hiſtoric Truth in tuneful Lays,</l>
                     <l>How wou'd the Poet in ſublimer Strains</l>
                     <l>With GEORGE's Virtue elevate his Scenes?</l>
                     <l>Tranſmit his Wiſdom to the future Age,</l>
                     <l>The nobleſt Theme that e'er adorn'd a Stage!</l>
                     <l>
                        <pb n="322" facs="tcp:0095100802:329"/>Not the Great Ruler of the genial
Year,</l>
                     <l>Whoſe radiant Beams the whole Creation chear,</l>
                     <l>Inſpires ſuch Joy, ſuch Rapture, ſuch De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>light,</l>
                     <l>As ſwells each Boſom at their Monarch's Sight.</l>
                     <l>Oh, may our Loyalty this Bliſs deſerve,</l>
                     <l>And Heav'n the Hero to our Hopes pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſerve!</l>
                  </lg>
               </q>

I believe none, but ſuch a Conjurer as Mr. <hi>Sherridan,</hi>
would have found out Blaſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>phemy in theſe Lines, and I am ſorry he did not
ſay they were as flat Burglary too as ever was committed; but he is a Judge,
a Gentleman: his Father was an Author, ay, and a Parſon! and for the ſignal
Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vours he has beſtowed on me, I return him theſe my Acknowledgments!

However, at all Hazards, I'll venture to ſtand the Teſt of
publiſhing the Following, becauſe Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> approved it.

            <q>
               <pb n="323" facs="tcp:0095100802:330"/>
               <floatingText xml:lang="eng">

                        THE ROMAN FATHER, a Tragedy.

                           DRAMATIS PERSONAE.
                           <list>
                              MEN.
                              <item>Appius Claudius,</item>
                              <item>Clodius,</item>
                              <item>Virginius,</item>
                              <item>Iccilius.</item>
                              <item>
                                 <hi>Officers, Servants, Attendants,</hi>
&c.</item>
                           </list>
                           <list>
                              WOMEN.
                              <item>Virginia.</item>
                              <item>
                                 <hi>Nurſe.</hi>
                              </item>
                           </list>

                              ACT. I. SCENE I.
                              <stage>Diſcovers <hi>Appius Claudius,</hi> and
<hi>Clodius.</hi>
                              </stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>App.</speaker>
                                 <l>THUS far has Force main<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tain'd what Cunning won,</l>
                                 <l>And haughty <hi>Rome,</hi> who with indignant
Rage,</l>
                                 <l>Spurn'd off the regal Yoke, now lowly bows</l>
                                 <l>Beneath my ſtronger Sway!</l>
                                 <l>While under Covert of chuſing from the
<hi>Grecian</hi> Laws the beſt;</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="324" facs="tcp:0095100802:331"/>To guard her Freedom, and
preſerve her Power,</l>
                                 <l>I hold Laws, Offices, and all ſuſpended;</l>
                                 <l>And in their Place, I ſubſtitute my Will,</l>
                                 <l>The Rule of Action, and the ſov'reign Guide:</l>
                                 <l>Say, <hi>Clodius,</hi> is it not a Maſter-piece of
Art,</l>
                                 <l>To hold the <hi>Romans</hi> thus enſlav'd?</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Clo.</speaker>
                                 <l>Sir, I applaud, and wonder at your Wiſdom,</l>
                                 <l>As fair Succeſs has crown'd your tow'ring
Hopes:</l>
                                 <l>The bold Plebeians, who with reſtleſs
Outrage,</l>
                                 <l>For ever brawl'd at every Innovation,</l>
                                 <l>And urg'd the Senate for the Execution</l>
                                 <l>Of the <hi>Agrarian</hi> Law, now bleſs your
Mercy,</l>
                                 <l>For Leave to live, and prate no more of Lands:</l>
                                 <l>The haughty Senators, ſtripp'd of their Pride,</l>
                                 <l>Retire for Safety to their native Fields,</l>
                                 <l>While the <hi>Decemvirate</hi> triumphant reign,</l>
                                 <l>Regardleſs of their Murmurs, or their Threats.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <pb n="325" facs="tcp:0095100802:332"/>
                                 <speaker>App.</speaker>
                                 <l>And ſtill we mean to hold the Reins of Empire,</l>
                                 <l>Nor quit them but with Life; yet, oh vain
Boaſt!</l>
                                 <l>Why do I fondly talk of ruling others?</l>
                                 <l>Who am myſelf a Slave, a Woman's Slave!</l>
                                 <l>The Captive of a fair enchanting Face,</l>
                                 <l>Sweet, as the firſt young Bluſhes of the
Dawn,</l>
                                 <l>Streaking with roſy Light the Eaſtern
Clouds;</l>
                                 <l>Say, <hi>Clodius,</hi> haſt thou ſeen the
matchleſs Maid,</l>
                                 <l>The young <hi>Virginia?</hi>
                                 </l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Clo.</speaker>
                                 <l>Even now, my Lord, I met the blooming Maid, and
traced her Footſteps</l>
                                 <l>To <hi>Dian</hi>'s ſacred Fane, before whoſe
Shrine</l>
                                 <l>She bent in lowly Adoration down,</l>
                                 <l>And look'd the chaſte Divinity herſelf.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>App.</speaker>
                                 <l>Oh <hi>Venus!</hi> wilt thou ſuffer ſuch a
Wrong,</l>
                                 <l>That heav'nly Beauty, radiant as thy own,</l>
                                 <l>Shou'd, coldly obſtinate, reject thy Power?</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Clo.</speaker>
                                 <l>However, ſhe may ſcorn the wanton Goddeſs,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="326" facs="tcp:0095100802:333"/>Her Son exerts his Empire o'er
her Heart;</l>
                                 <l>Her Nurſe, whom to your Intereſt I have
brib'd,</l>
                                 <l>By the perſuaſive Eloquence of Gold,</l>
                                 <l>Gold, the prevailing Argument with Age,</l>
                                 <l>Informs me, that <hi>Virginius</hi> has
contracted</l>
                                 <l>His youthful Daughter to the brave
<hi>Iccilius,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>The nobleſt Youth of the plebeian Order,</l>
                                 <l>Not more renown'd for military Virtue</l>
                                 <l>Than for the poliſh'd Arts which ſoften
Life,</l>
                                 <l>And win the Soul of Woman; he to<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>morrow</l>
                                 <l>In <hi>Hymen</hi>'s Rites for ever joins the
Fair.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>App.</speaker>
                                 <l>Thy Tale has ſhot ten thouſand burning
Arrows,</l>
                                 <l>Which pierce with agonizing Pangs my Soul:</l>
                                 <l>Oh, ſhould thoſe Charms, which might adorn a
Throne,</l>
                                 <l>Be doom'd to the Poſſeſſion of a Wretch</l>
                                 <l>So lowly born, the World might tax my Juſtice;</l>
                                 <l>I muſt exalt them to their proper Sphere,</l>
                                 <l>Where they ſhall ſhine, and bleſs the
won<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>d'ring World.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <pb n="327" facs="tcp:0095100802:334"/>
                                 <speaker>Clo.</speaker>
                                 <l>You would not wed her.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>App.</speaker>
                                 <l>Ignorance! thou know'ſt</l>
                                 <l>I am already married, and our Law's</l>
                                 <l>Still to preſerve the noble Blood unmix'd,</l>
                                 <l>Forbid Patricians, and Plebeians joining;</l>
                                 <l>And <hi>Appius Claudius,</hi> from the Greateſt
ſprung,</l>
                                 <l>Shall never ſully his illuſtrious Birth,</l>
                                 <l>Or ſtoop beneath the Honour of his Race,</l>
                                 <l>To mingle with the People: No, my
<hi>Clo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dius,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>The Name of Marriage is the Bane of Plea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſure,</l>
                                 <l>And Love ſhould have no Tie, but Love to bind
it;</l>
                                 <l>Wives oft are haughty, inſolent, and proud,</l>
                                 <l>But ſweet <hi>Virginia,</hi> fair as Infant
Nature,</l>
                                 <l>And gentle as the balmy Breath of Spring,</l>
                                 <l>Shall be the Miſtreſs of my ſoften'd
Hours,</l>
                                 <l>And bid them ſmile with ever-blooming
Pleaſure;</l>
                                 <l>But, oh! this ſudden Marriage blaſts my
Hopes!</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Clo.</speaker>
                                 <l>Near as it ſeems, my active Thoughts have
ſchem'd</l>
                                 <l>A Way to rob the Lover of his Bliſs,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="328" facs="tcp:0095100802:335"/>Only do you approve what I
ſhall act,</l>
                                 <l>And truſt my Diligence to make her yours,</l>
                                 <l>Or fall in the Attempt.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>App.</speaker>
                                 <l>I know thee wiſe,</l>
                                 <l>Active, and reſolute; talk not of falling,</l>
                                 <l>Let but thy Skill aſſiſt my fond Deſire,</l>
                                 <l>And make my Power ſubſervient to thy Will.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Clo.</speaker>
                                 <l>I ſee her, Sir, returning from the Temple,</l>
                                 <l>Led by the deſtin'd Bridegroom; beſt retire,</l>
                                 <l>Leſt Paſſion hurry you to Indiſcretion,</l>
                                 <l>Where Policy, and Craft muſt win our Cauſe.</l>
                                 <stage>[Exeunt.</stage>
                              </sp>

                              ACT I. SCENE II.
                              <stage>Enter <hi>Iccilius,</hi> and
<hi>Virginia.</hi>
                              </stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Was not that <hi>Appius?</hi> how the Ty<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rant ey'd
me,</l>
                                 <l>As if he mark'd me for his future Victim!</l>
                                 <l>No Matter; let me but enjoy to-morrow,</l>
                                 <l>Let me but live to call <hi>Virginia</hi> mine,</l>
                                 <l>And I ſhall reſt your Debtor, bount'ous
Gods!</l>
                                 <l>Let what will come hereafter.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <pb n="329" facs="tcp:0095100802:336"/>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Alas! <hi>Iccilius,</hi> a thouſand boding</l>
                                 <l>Cares poſſeſs my Soul,</l>
                                 <l>And Heavineſs and Woe, unfelt before,</l>
                                 <l>Hang deathful on my Heart; to-morrow, ſaidſt
thou,</l>
                                 <l>The Times are full of Violence and Blood,</l>
                                 <l>The Hand of Tyranny deſtroys the Juſt,</l>
                                 <l>Virtue is Guilt, when Wickedneſs is Judge;</l>
                                 <l>Who then can ſafely anſwer for a Moment,</l>
                                 <l>Or tell where thou or I may be to-mor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>row?</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Lock'd in the Circle of each others Arms,</l>
                                 <l>And taſting ev'ry Tranſport, ev'ry Sweet,</l>
                                 <l>Which <hi>Hymen,</hi> Guardian God of chaſte
De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lights,</l>
                                 <l>Profuſely ſheds to crown the happy Pair,</l>
                                 <l>By him in holy Union join'd for ever.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Believe me, were my Soul to form a Wiſh,</l>
                                 <l>And have that Wiſh indulg'd me by the Gods,</l>
                                 <l>For ever to converſe with my
<hi>Iccilius,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>To liſten to his Eloquence divine,</l>
                                 <l>To learn his Wiſdom, to return his Love</l>
                                 <l>With tender Duty, Gratitude, and Truth,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="330" facs="tcp:0095100802:337"/>Wou'd be the utmoſt Scope of
my Deſires.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Tranſporting Sounds! oh, may thoſe awful
Pow'rs</l>
                                 <l>Render <hi>Iccilius</hi> worthy to poſſeſs
thee:</l>
                                 <l>But why, my Fair-one! this dejected Look?</l>
                                 <l>This pining Care, this gloomy Diſcontent</l>
                                 <l>Should only dwell in black and guilty Bo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſoms;</l>
                                 <l>Serenity of Soul, and tranquil Peace,</l>
                                 <l>Should wait on ſpotleſs Innocence like
thine.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>A dreadful Viſion has deſtroy'd that Peace,</l>
                                 <l>Sent as to warn me of approaching Danger,</l>
                                 <l>Nor will the ſad Remembrance leave my Soul.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Relate this horrid Dream, which ſo affrights
thee!</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Laſt Night, when ſleep had ſpread her downy
Wings</l>
                                 <l>O'er half Mankind, and lull'd my Cares to
Reſt,</l>
                                 <l>Methought I walk'd with thee, my deareſt
Lover!</l>
                                 <l>Thro' flow'ry Meads, in vernal Beauty dreſs'd,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="331" facs="tcp:0095100802:338"/>All Nature bloom'd, around us
falling Streams,</l>
                                 <l>And warbling Birds in tuneful Concert join'd,</l>
                                 <l>Charming the Air with Melody divine!</l>
                                 <l>While ev'ry lovely Object of Delight</l>
                                 <l>Receiv'd new Luſtre from <hi>Iccilius</hi>'
Pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſence;</l>
                                 <l>Sudden the Foreſt ſhook, and thro' the
Trees,</l>
                                 <l>With dreadful Cries, ruſh'd forth, an hun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gry
Lion,</l>
                                 <l>Who ſought me for his Prey; I trembling fled</l>
                                 <l>To my lov'd Father's Arms; he drew his Poignard,</l>
                                 <l>And when I look'd he ſhould have ſlain the
Savage,</l>
                                 <l>With erring Fury plung'd it in my Heart;</l>
                                 <l>The piercing Anguiſh wak'd me, and the Terror</l>
                                 <l>Remain'd, when all the horrid Scene was
vaniſh'd.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>This is the Mimickry of active Fancy,</l>
                                 <l>Who when the Senſes are all charm'd to Reſt,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="332" facs="tcp:0095100802:339"/>Preſents herſelf to the
Imagination</l>
                                 <l>In vary'd Figures, and unnumber'd Shapes,</l>
                                 <l>Theſe leſſer Faculties diſport at large,</l>
                                 <l>When Reaſon, ſov'reign Miſtreſs of the
Soul,</l>
                                 <l>O'er-wrought with Care, repairs herſelf by
Reſt;</l>
                                 <l>Believe me, 'tis no more; raiſe then thy Eyes,</l>
                                 <l>And bleſs <hi>Iccilius</hi> with their wonted
Sweet<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neſs:</l>
                                 <l>My Care ſhall be to ſeek thy Godlike
Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther,</l>
                                 <l>And urge him to appoint the bliſsful Hour,</l>
                                 <q>
                                    <l>
                                       <hi>Then ſmiling Love each Moment ſhall
em<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ploy,</hi>
                                    </l>
                                    <l>
                                       <hi>Tranſporting Rapture, and ecſtatic
Joy.</hi>
                                    </l>
                                 </q>
                                 <stage>[Exeunt.</stage>
                              </sp>
                              <stage>Enter <hi>Virginius</hi> ſolus.</stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>How long, oh <hi>Rome!</hi> ſhall thy majeſtic
Head</l>
                                 <l>Be cruſh'd by the tyrannic Hand of Power?</l>
                                 <l>Oh Liberty! thou beſt Prerogative of
Hu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mankind,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="333" facs="tcp:0095100802:340"/>How have the bloody
<hi>Decemvirs</hi> defaced</l>
                                 <l>Thy moſt tranſcendent Beauties? ſhall they
then</l>
                                 <l>Rage unreſtrain'd, and violate thy Charms</l>
                                 <l>With bold Impunity? forbid it Heaven!</l>
                                 <l>No; there are yet among us ſome brave Spirits,</l>
                                 <l>Who dare aſſert the ſacred Cauſe of
Free<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dom:</l>
                                 <l>Oh Father <hi>Jove,</hi> propitious ſmile upon
us!</l>
                                 <l>And if my Life, or aught more dear than Life,</l>
                                 <l>May be a Sacrifice acceptable,</l>
                                 <l>Lo I devote it freely to the Cauſe,</l>
                                 <l>The glorious Cauſe of Liberty, and
<hi>Rome!</hi>
                                 </l>
                              </sp>
                              <stage>Enter <hi>Iccilius,</hi> and
<hi>Virginia.</hi>
                              </stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Welcome <hi>Iccilius</hi>; Welcome, dear
<hi>Virginia,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>My Soul's Delight, my laſt remaining Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fort.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Oh! ſhe was born to give tranſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cendant Joy</l>
                                 <l>To her glad Father, and her raptur'd Lover;</l>
                                 <l>And all thoſe outward Charms ſo heav'nly
ſweet,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="334" facs="tcp:0095100802:341"/>Are but an Emanation from thy
Soul,</l>
                                 <l>Where ev'ry Beauty, Grace, and Virtue live;</l>
                                 <l>Since then your Approbation crowns my Love,</l>
                                 <l>And gives the matchleſs Virgin to my Wiſhes,</l>
                                 <l>I claim your Promiſe, that to-morrow's Sun</l>
                                 <l>May ſee us one.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Auſpicious may it riſe upon your Union,</l>
                                 <l>Clear unclouded Days, and Nights of ſweet Repoſe
for ever wait you.</l>
                                 <l>I know when Love has winged the eager Wiſh,</l>
                                 <l>It flies impatient to the promis'd Joy,</l>
                                 <l>Nor ſhall Delay retard your youthful Ardor;</l>
                                 <l>Take her, <hi>Iccilius,</hi> from her Father's
Hand.—</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Thus kneeling I receive, and bleſs your
Bounty;</l>
                                 <l>Oh my <hi>Virginia!</hi> but all Words are
faint,</l>
                                 <l>To paint the Extaſy which ſwells my Heart:</l>
                                 <l>Nor Air, nor Light, nor Liberty, nor Health,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="335" facs="tcp:0095100802:342"/>To one long pin'd within a
joyleſs Dun<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>geon,</l>
                                 <l>Are half ſo lovely, charming, ſweet, or
welcome!</l>
                              </sp>
                              <stage>Enter Meſſenger.</stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Meſſ.</speaker>
                                 <l>An Officer from <hi>Appius Claudius,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>Sir, demands Admittance.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Bid him enter.</l>
                                 <l>Retire, my Child; what can the Tyrant want?</l>
                                 <stage>[Exit <hi>Virg.</hi>
                                 </stage>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Officer.</speaker>
                                 <l>The <hi>Decemvirate</hi> Guardians of our State</l>
                                 <l>Greet thee with Honour, and Reſpect,
<hi>Vir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ginius,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>And ſignify by me their ſacred Pleaſure;</l>
                                 <l>A Meſſenger is from the Camp arriv'd,</l>
                                 <l>With Notice, that the <hi>Capuans</hi> have
re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>volted;</l>
                                 <l>And to your Care, brave Veteran, they truſt</l>
                                 <l>The Conduct of their Legions: on the In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtant</l>
                                 <l>Muſt you ſet forth, and thou, <hi>Iccilius,</hi>
with him.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <pb n="336" facs="tcp:0095100802:343"/>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Their Pleaſures be obey'd, but this is
ſudden.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Off.</speaker>
                                 <l>The Time cries haſte, delay not then a Moment;</l>
                                 <l>May Victory and Fame attend your Arms.</l>
                                 <stage>[Exit Off.</stage>
                              </sp>
                              <stage>Enter <hi>Virginia.</hi>
                              </stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>My Daughter, we muſt leave you, inſtant
Danger</l>
                                 <l>Demands our Preſence in the <hi>Roman</hi>
Camp;</l>
                                 <l>Nay, do not weep, we ſhall not long be
abſent,</l>
                                 <l>Mean time thy Innocence ſhall reſt in Safety</l>
                                 <l>Beneath the friendly hoſpitable Roof</l>
                                 <l>Of good <hi>Iccilius'</hi> Father. Do not weep,</l>
                                 <l>I go to ſeek him, take a ſhort Farewel,</l>
                                 <l>And follow me.</l>
                                 <stage>[Exit <hi>Virginius.</hi>
                                 </stage>
                              </sp>
                              <stage>
                                 <hi>Iccilius</hi> and <hi>Virginia.</hi>
                              </stage>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Oh my lov'd <hi>Virginia!</hi> are all my eager
Longings,</l>
                                 <l>Wiſhings, Hopes, defeated thus? now muſt I leave
you;</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="337" facs="tcp:0095100802:344"/>Now, oh 'tis a Pang too great
to bear, and live!</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Thus fade our Dreams of Happineſs and Bliſs:</l>
                                 <l>Not that a ſhort, or momentary Abſence,</l>
                                 <l>When our lov'd Country call'd thee to its Aid,</l>
                                 <l>Cou'd ſhake my Temper; no, I oft with Pride,</l>
                                 <l>Have ſeen my Hero arm him for the Field,</l>
                                 <l>And only griev'd that my weak Sex denied me</l>
                                 <l>To ſhare the glorious Toils, the noble
Dan<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ger;</l>
                                 <l>But now my ſad preſaging Heart aſſures
me,</l>
                                 <l>We part to meet no more.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Oh ſofteſt Charmer!</l>
                                 <l>Ceaſe t' afflict me with a Thought ſo ſad,</l>
                                 <l>Leſt, Coward like, I ſtain my ſacred
Ho<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nour,</l>
                                 <l>And, ſhunning Glory, and the duſty Field,</l>
                                 <l>Remain for ever in <hi>Virginia</hi>'s Arms;</l>
                                 <l>For what are Trophies, Honours, Tri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>umphs,
Spoils,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="338" facs="tcp:0095100802:345"/>Th' envy'd Pageant, and the
People's Shout,</l>
                                 <l>To the tranſporting Joys of mutual Love,</l>
                                 <l>And Harmony of corr<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                                       <desc>•</desc>
                                    </gap>ſpondent Souls?</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>No, my <hi>Iccilius,</hi> let not my fond Fears</l>
                                 <l>Betray thee into miſbecoming Weakneſs;</l>
                                 <l>I love thy Glory dearer than thy Perſon,</l>
                                 <l>And wiſh thy Name enroli'd amongſt the
foremoſt</l>
                                 <l>Who arduous trod the ſteep Aſcent to Fame:</l>
                                 <l>High on the Summit of a lofty Hill,</l>
                                 <l>Encompaſs'd round with Danger, Toil, and
Death,</l>
                                 <l>The Goddeſs ſtands, and holds the Victor
Wreath</l>
                                 <l>Of ever-verdant Laurel! ſacred Emblem</l>
                                 <l>Of undecaying Virtue and Renown;</l>
                                 <l>Who would not wiſh to gain the glorious Prize,</l>
                                 <l>And ſcorn the Danger, viewing the Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ward!</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Oh thou! well-worthy of the <hi>Ro<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man</hi>
Name,</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="339" facs="tcp:0095100802:346"/>Not the chaſte Fair, who
ſwam the rapid <hi>Tyber,</hi>
                                 </l>
                                 <l>Nor ſhe who fearleſs pierc'd her ſnowy
Boſom,</l>
                                 <l>And with pure Blood waſh'd out the fatal Stain</l>
                                 <l>The brutal Tyrant gave her, e'er poſſeſs'd</l>
                                 <l>Such Dignity of Soul, ſuch Fortitude,</l>
                                 <l>Such Wiſdom, or ſuch Innocence as thine;</l>
                                 <l>Thy noble Arguments bent to perſuade</l>
                                 <l>Thy Lover hence, but charm him here more
ſtrongly;</l>
                                 <l>I gaze with endleſs Admiration on thee,</l>
                                 <l>And wonder at a Greatneſs ſo divine.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Virg.</speaker>
                                 <l>Forever cou'd I liſten to thy Lan<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>guage,</l>
                                 <l>More chearing than the Breath of new-born
Spring,</l>
                                 <l>When firſt her vernal Airs ſalute the
Groves,</l>
                                 <l>And wake to Life the Infant Blooms and Flowers,</l>
                                 <l>To deck her lovely Boſom; but no more,</l>
                                 <l>Thy Duty calls thee to the Battle now.</l>
                                 <stage>[Flouriſh.</stage>
                                 <l>My Father waits you, the protecting Pow'rs</l>
                                 <l>
                                    <pb n="340" facs="tcp:0095100802:347"/>Conduct you forth, and bring
you back in Safety.</l>
                              </sp>
                              <sp>
                                 <speaker>Iccil.</speaker>
                                 <l>Thy pious Pray'r ſhall charm down Bleſſings on
us,</l>
                                 <l>And Love ſhall guard me for <hi>Virginia</hi>'s
Sake.</l>
                                 <q>
                                    <l>
                                       <hi>Think with what fierce Impatience I ſhall
burn,</hi>
                                    </l>
                                    <l>
                                       <hi>'Till to thy Arms triumphant I
return;</hi>
                                    </l>
                                    <l>
                                       <hi>To bid thy Sighs, thy Tears, thy Anguiſh,
ceaſe,</hi>
                                    </l>
                                    <l>
                                       <hi>And ſcoth thy gentle Soul to Love and
Peace.</hi>
                                    </l>
                                 </q>
                                 <stage>[Exeunt.</stage>
                              </sp>

                           <trailer>END OF THE ACT.</trailer>

               </floatingText>
            </q>

One Day, as I was in my Shop, a Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tleman, very richly
dreſſed, told me, he had a Letter for me; I received it very
reſpectfully, but could not help ſmiling, when I found it was the Letter I
wrote for <hi>Tom Bruſh,</hi> neatly copied and directed to me, and that,
leſt it ſhould miſcarry, he had brought it himſelf.

I ſaid it was a very genteel Piece of Gal<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lantry, and quite now.
He told me he <pb n="241" facs="tcp:0095100802:348"/> was going to his Seat in the County of
<hi>Sur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rey</hi> the next Day, and gave me a very kind Invitation to paſs the
Remainder of the Summer there, but as he was a young, gay, ſingle Gentleman,
I did not hold it convenient.

Pray, Madam, ſaid he, do you never go to the Opera? No, really,
Sir; not but that I love Muſic, but it happens to be too expenſive an
Entertainment for me: Well then, Madam, returned he, I muſt inſiſt on
having the Honour of treating you to it; on which, he downright forced a
Cou<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ple of Guineas on me, and making me promiſe to correſpond with him till
his Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turn to <hi>London,</hi> we parted.

Unfortunately I loſt his Direction, and ſo had it not in my
Power to keep my Word.

And I do aſſure my Readers, I did not go to the Opera,
wiſely conſidering that two Pound two, would be of infinitely more Service
to me, than it could poſſibly be to Mr. <hi>Heydeigger.</hi>

But, alas! before the Return of Winter, I had neither Shop, nor
almoſt an Habi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tation. <pb n="342" facs="tcp:0095100802:349"/> By what ſtrange Reverſe of
For<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tune I was again reduced to the utmoſt Calamity, and by what unexpected
and ſig<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nal Mercy delivered from it, muſt, as it is impoſſible for me
to get it into the Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>paſs of this Volume, be the Subject of a Third.

I ſhould be highly ungrateful not to ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>knowledge the Favour and
Bounty of the whole Body of the Nobility, Clergy, and Gentry of this Kingdom,
whoſe Goodneſs, as it is my higheſt Pride to own, ſo it ſhall ever be
my utmoſt Ambition to merit; and if their poor Servant can in the leaſt
contribute to their Entertainment, ſhe ſhall think herſelf over-paid, or,
to uſe my dear Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi>'s Words:
<q>
                  <l>As for what's left of Life, if yet 'twill do,</l>
                  <l>'Tis at your Service, pleas'd while plea<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſing you.</l>
                  <l>But then miſtake me not, when you've enough,</l>
                  <l>One thin Subſcription ſhews all Parties off;</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="343" facs="tcp:0095100802:350"/>Or Truth in homely Proverb to
advance,</l>
                  <l>I pipe no longer than you care to dance.</l>
               </q>

But, oh my loved, honoured, and ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cellent Lord
<hi>Kingſborough!</hi> where ſhall I find Words adequate to the Senſe I
have of your Goodneſs, your unlimited Gene<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>roſity? thou kind Preſerver of
mine, and my Son's Life!
<q>
                  <l>Did Eloquence divine adorn my Speaking,</l>
                  <l>Tho' ev'ry Muſe, and ev'ry Grace ſhould crown me,</l>
                  <l>Why then, ev'n then, I ſhould fall ſhort</l>
                  <l>Of my Soul's Meaning.</l>
               </q>

But as with You my Muſe began, with You alſo ſhe muſt end,
yet not 'till I re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>late the following Story.

I ſaw in <hi>London</hi> the truly elegant and beautiful Speech
of a certain great Man, not long ſince our ſupreme Governor here; I was
really ſo charmed with it, that I wrote the following Lines, which I ſhewed
to Mr. <hi>Cibber.</hi> As his Excellency was re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turned to <hi>England,</hi>
Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> was ſo well <pb n="344" facs="tcp:0095100802:351"/> pleaſed with them,
that, as he was particu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>larly intimate with him, he undertook to deliver them,
and ſaid, he did not doubt but he would give me a handſome Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ward: To give
this Theſis plainer Proof, I put it to the Teſt.
<q>
                  <lg>
                     To his Excellency the Earl of
<hi>CHESTER<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>FIELD.</hi>

                     <lg>
                        <l>O THOU! to bind whoſe awful Brow</l>
                        <l>Triumphant Laurels joy to grow,</l>
                        <l>To whom the Sons of Science bend,</l>
                        <l>As to the great inſpiring Soul,</l>
                        <l>That brightens and informs the whole,</l>
                        <l>The Muſes Patron, Judge, and Friend.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Never did <hi>Britain</hi>'s King before,</l>
                        <l>A Subſtitute ſo noble find,</l>
                        <l>Nor ever yet deputed Pow'r</l>
                        <l>With ſuch tranſcendent Luſtre ſhin'd.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>For when, to grace <hi>Hibernia</hi>'s Throne,</l>
                        <l>The God-like <hi>Cheſterfield</hi> was giv'n,</l>
                        <l>How did the joyful People own</l>
                        <l>Their Monarch's Love! the Care of Heav'n?</l>
                        <l>
                           <pb n="345" facs="tcp:0095100802:352"/>On thy exalted
<note n="*" place="bottom">His Speech to both Houſes of
<hi>Parliament,</hi> in <hi>Dublin.</hi>
                           </note>
                           <hi>Speech</hi> their Senates
hung,</l>
                        <l>And bleſt the Elocation of thy Tongue!</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>'Tis <hi>Stanhope</hi> can alone untie</l>
                        <l>The <hi>Gordian</hi> Knot of Policy.</l>
                        <l>He ev'ry Kingdom's Int'reſt knows:</l>
                        <l>Were to his Care the World conſign'd,</l>
                        <l>Th' Almighty's everlaſting Mind</l>
                        <l>Might there ſecure his Truſt repoſe.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Thy Genius, for all Stations fit,</l>
                        <l>The Reins of Empire knows to guide,</l>
                        <l>Nor leſs the ſacred Realms of Wit</l>
                        <l>Acknowledge thee their Boaſt and Pride;</l>
                        <l>So <hi>Phoebus</hi> rules the Chariot of the Day,</l>
                        <l>And charms the Groves with his melodi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ous Lay.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>How did of late the Nations fear,</l>
                        <l>Sickneſs, the Meſſenger of Fate,</l>
                        <l>Would take thee to thy native Sphere,</l>
                        <l>'Midſt throned Gods to hold thy State.</l>
                        <l>We fear'd a Soul, ſo eminently wiſe,</l>
                        <l>Was call'd to grace th' Synod of the Skies.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <pb n="346" facs="tcp:0095100802:353"/>
                        <l>But ſoon the Roſe-lip'd Cherub Health,</l>
                        <l>Commiſſion'd by the Pow'r Divine,</l>
                        <l>Reſtor'd <hi>Britannia</hi>'s Deareſt Wealth,</l>
                        <l>The Glory of her Patriot Line.</l>
                        <l>Oh may'ſt Thou long from better Worlds be ſpa<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                              <desc>•</desc>
                           </gap>'d,</l>
                        <l>And late receive thy Virtues full Reward.</l>
                     </lg>
                     <lg>
                        <l>Ev'n I, whom many Griefs oppreſs,</l>
                        <l>Enraptur'd with thy flowing Strain,</l>
                        <l>A while forget my own Diſtreſs,</l>
                        <l>And Anguiſh ceaſes to complain;</l>
                        <l>Such Charms to Heav'n-born Eloquence belong,</l>
                        <l>And ſuch the magic Force of ſacred Song.</l>
                     </lg>
                  </lg>
               </q>

I ought to have premiſed, that juſt as I had finiſhed this
Poem, <hi>W—rſd—le</hi> came in, and ſnatched it from me,
ſaying he would ſend it himſelf to his old Friend <hi>Phil<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                     <desc>•</desc>
                  </gap>p.</hi> I could not get it from him, but
as I remembered every Syllable of it, I wrote it in a better Hand than that
rough Draught I had given to Mr. <hi>Cibber,</hi> and having the Honour of his
Correction, who <pb n="347" facs="tcp:0095100802:354"/> is a fair and candid Critic, ſent it
again to him.

               <hi>W—ſd—le</hi> came in the Evening, told me that
the Earl ſent him many Thanks, and would be glad to ſee his old Friend.

Upon this I aſked <hi>W—rſd—le</hi> to lend me
Half a Crown to buy a Pair of Shoes, which he abſolutely refuſing, when he
had convinced me he had fifty Guineas in his Pocket, I, though ill-ſhod, was
obliged to reſt contented.

Early next Morning I received from Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> the
following ſhort Epiſtle:
<floatingText type="letter">

                     <opener>
                        <salute>MADAM,</salute>
                     </opener>

THE Poetry of poor People, how<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ever it may riſe in Value,
always ſinks in the Price; what might in happier Hours have brought you ten
Guineas for it's intrinſic Worth, is now reduced to two, which I deſire you
will come and re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ceive from the Hand of

                     <closer>
                        <signed>Your old humble Servant, COLLEY
CIBBER.</signed>
                     </closer>

               </floatingText>

               <pb n="348" facs="tcp:0095100802:355"/>By this I found Mr.
<hi>W—rſd—le</hi> had boaſted of an Intereſt in his
Excellency, which he certainly never had, for who would have even given me that
ſmall Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ward that had received the Poem before from another Hand, would they
not have laughed at me!

I waited on Mr. <hi>Cibber,</hi> who told me he had given my Poem
to his Excellency with theſe Words:
<q rend="inline">"That if he had not thought it beautiful, he would
not have ta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ken the Liberty of preſenting it to him."</q>

               <q rend="inline">"As Dinner, ſaid he, was juſt brought up my
Lord put it into his Pocket. In the Evening I reminded him of it: He told me he
was attack'd by all the World with paultry Rhimes, which his L—d always
beſt rewarded."</q>

The next Day Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> attacked his Excellency again,
and aſked him how he liked the Lines? Upon which he ſaid,
<q rend="inline">"Oh I had forgot, there's two Guineas for her, but
don't put them into your Sil<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ver Pocket, leſt you ſhould make a Miſtake
and pay your Chair with them: <pb n="349" facs="tcp:0095100802:356"/> So here, Madam, are the
two Guineas for you."</q> As I was entirely indebted to Mr. <hi>Cibber</hi> for
this Bounty, I return my Acknowledgements to Him.

My dear Lord <hi>Kingſborough,</hi> I never ſhould have
related this Story, except by way of Contraſt to your amiable Virtues; for I
may juſtly ſay with <hi>Swift,</hi>

My fav'rite Lord is none of thoſe,
<q>
                  <l>Who owe their Virtue to their Stations,</l>
                  <l>Or Characters to Dedications;</l>
                  <l>His Worth, altho a Poet ſaid it</l>
                  <l>Before a Play, would loſe no Credit.</l>
                  <l>Nor <hi>Swift</hi> would dare deny him Wit,</l>
                  <l>Altho' to praiſe it I have writ.</l>
               </q>

Juſt as I was writing about <hi>W—rſd—le,</hi> a
Gentleman brought me a Pamphlet en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tituled, <hi>A Parallel between Mrs.</hi>
Pilking<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ton <hi>and Mrs.</hi> Phillips, <hi>written by an</hi> Ox<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ford
<hi>Scholar,</hi> as he tells us, himſelf, ſtar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ving in a Garret; Pray, Mr.
Scholar, deal ingenouſly did not <hi>W—rſd—le</hi> hire you to
write it, becauſe he was indolent; dull, I <pb n="350" facs="tcp:0095100802:357"/> ſuppoſe
you mean; if he can write ſo much better than I, let him give the World a
Proof of his Abilities; but it ſeems, he is diſcontented that I have not
ſufficiently ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>poſed him: Why, let him have but a little Patience, and my
Life on't he ſhall have no Cauſe of Complaint on that Head, but I cannot
break in on the Order of Time ſo far as to give the World a ſecond Act of
him, yet

Unity of Time and Place, you know, Mr. Critick, muſt be
obſerved, otherwiſe we muſt renounce the Stagyrite.

If you intend your Performance for a Satire on me, truly your
Words are ſo clerkly couched, that I cannot find any Sting in them.—You
ſay I admired the Dean for being a Brute.—<hi>N. B.</hi> You lye; and
none but a Villain would call him one. I admired his Charity, Wit, Senſe,
Taſte, <hi>&c.</hi> and to ſay he had Paſſions, which ob<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſcured
for a while his ſhining and uncom<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mon Excellencies, is no more than ſaying
he was human, and conſequently liable to Error.

               <pb n="351" facs="tcp:0095100802:358"/>Then you aſk me, how I dare mention Mr.
<hi>Pope?</hi> Why truly, like <hi>Drawcanſir,</hi> all this I can do,
becauſe I dare.—I never refuſed doing Juſtice to his poetical
Merits; but all your Art can never per<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſuade the World, that he was not an
en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vious Defamer of other Men's good Parts, and intolerably vain of his own.
How does he boaſt of his Acquaintance with the Great, even to childiſh
Folly? The late Earl of <hi>Peterborough</hi> could not divert him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf with
pruning a Tree in his Garden, but preſently we are told of it in theſe
high<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſounding unharmonious Words:
<q>
                  <l>And he, whoſe Thunder ſtorm'd th'<hi>Iberian</hi>
Lines,</l>
                  <l>Now forms my Quincunx, and now prues my Vines.</l>
               </q> Why,
one would have thought he had hired the Earl for a Gardener.

And as for his Gratitude, let that appear by his Poem, called
<hi>Taſte,</hi> wherein he abuſes the late Duke of <hi>Chandos</hi> for his
Munificence to Writers, whereof take the following Sample:
<q>
                  <pb n="352" facs="tcp:0095100802:359"/>
                  <l>His Wealth Lord <hi>Timon</hi> gloriouſly con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>founds,</l>
                  <l>Ask'd for a Groat, he gives an hundred Pounds;</l>
                  <l>Or, if three Ladies like a luckleſs Play,</l>
                  <l>Takes the whole Houſe upon the Author's Day.</l>
               </q> Was
this any Defect in his Grace's Charac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter, eſpecialy in a poetical Eye? No,
ſurely: but I ſuppoſe Mr. <hi>Pope</hi> was angry, as he was not a
Dramatick Writer, that his Grace ſhould beſtow any Favour on them.

He then proceeds to ridicule his Grace's Library, and the Grandeur
and Magnifi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cence of his Improvements.
<q>
                  <l>And when up ten ſteep Slopes you've drag'd your Thighs,</l>
                  <l>Juſt at his Study-door he'll bleſs your Eyes.</l>
                  <l>His Study! with what Authors is it ſtor'd?</l>
                  <l>In Books, not Authors, curious is my Lord.</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="353" facs="tcp:0095100802:360"/>To all their letter'd Backs he turns you
round,</l>
                  <l>Theſe <hi>Aldus</hi> printed, theſe <hi>De Sewel</hi>
bound:</l>
                  <l>Theſe, Sir, are <hi>Elziver</hi>'s, and thoſe as good,</l>

                  <l>For all his Lordſhip knows they are but Wood;</l>
                  <l>For <hi>Locke</hi> or <hi>Milton</hi> 'tis in vain to
look,</l>
                  <l>Theſe Shelves admit not any modern Book.</l>
               </q> I
ſuppoſe, becauſe he did not find his own Works there, he reſolved at
all Hazards to depreciate his Betters. Shall I proceed, or have I ſaid enough

<q>To thee, who haſt not Ear, nor Eye, nor Soul to comprehend
it.</q>

And now, how dare you to abuſe my Huſband? Why, thou, poor
paultry Gar<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>retteer! thou ſtarveling Bard! if I have a Mind to do it
myſelf, what's that to you?
<q>
                  <l>The diſtant <hi>Trojan</hi> never injur'd thee.</l>
                  <bibl>Pope's Homer.</bibl>
               </q>
               <q>
                  <pb n="354" facs="tcp:0095100802:361"/>
                  <l>And ſuppoſe I've a Mind for to drub,</l>
                  <l>Whoſe Bones is it, Sir, I muſt lick?</l>
                  <l>At whoſe Expence is it, you Scrub?</l>
                  <l>You are not to find me a Stick.</l>
               </q> Poor Creature! and as
you ſay you are in Neceſſity, I hope you will be relieved, even by
putting together
<q>
                  <l>Figures ill-pair'd, and Similies unlike:</l>
                  <l>
                     <hi>Letty</hi> and <hi>Conny,</hi> pious, precious
Pair!</l>
               </q> I ſuppoſe this this is an Alluſion to <hi>Niſus</hi> and
<hi>Euryalus</hi>; but prithee learn more Wit,
<q>
                  <l>Than to make ill-coupled Hounds</l>
                  <l>Drag different Ways in miry Grounds.</l>
               </q> For I am certain
I never was a Match for Mrs. <hi>Philips,</hi> either in Beauty or in Art, in
both of which ſhe reigns unrivalled, and I, as in Duty bound, give her the
Pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>eminence. But
<q>
                  <l>I imagine this <hi>Oxonian</hi> ſitting on his Bed,</l>
                  <l>One greaſy Stocking round his Head,</l>
                  <l>
                     <pb n="355" facs="tcp:0095100802:362"/>While t'other he ſits down to
darn,</l>
                  <l>With Threads of different colour'd Yarn;</l>
                  <l>The Remnants of his laſt Night's Pot</l>
                  <l>On Embers plac'd, to make it hot;</l>
                  <l>But now if <hi>W—dale</hi> deign to drop</l>
                  <l>A Slice of Bread, or Mutton-chop,</l>
                  <l>Mounting he writes, and writing ſings,</l>
                  <l>While, from beneath, all <hi>Grub-ſtreet</hi> rings.</l>
                  <bibl>Swift.</bibl>
               </q>

Ha! have I gueſſed right? thou wicked Scribbler, that
praiſeſt the Worſt beſt, and Beſt worſt; thou art juſt fit to
nurture Fools, and chronicle Small-beer.

Now to criticize on your wonderful Work: In the firſt Place, you
ſay all my Characters are well drawn, eaſy, natural and pictureſque; and
yet after this high Compliment, that I even made a dull Story entertaining by
the Force of a ſpark<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ling Wit, and retentive Memory; why, preſently after I
dwindle, by the Force of your Pen, into a mere Dunce: And ſo though you
promiſed us a Parallel, you give us a Contraſt; you are a very witty
Fellow, I aſſure you, and deal much in <pb n="356" facs="tcp:0095100802:363"/> the
Surprizing. And ſo you do not like my Poetry, there was no Thought of
pleaſing you when it was writ; but go to my Treaſurer, tell him I order him
to give you three hundred Kicks in private, and the Lord ſend you a b<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>tter Taſte!

Hey-day, the Devil rides on a Fiddle<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtick! freſh News
arrived! all my Letters to <hi>W—rſd—le</hi> to be publiſhed;
oh terrible! well; I hope he will publiſh every Poem that was incloſed in
them, that I may come by my own again? let him return to me three Operas,
twenty-five Odes, the Let<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ters I wrote for him, the Poem which begins,
<q>
                  <l>To diſtant Climes, while fond <hi>Cleora</hi> flies.</l>
               </q>
And then he has my full Leave to publiſh every Letter of mine that he thinks
will ſerve his Purpoſe; but remember that if you and he ſhould ſit
down, and out of your own Loggerheads write Nonſenſe, and offer it to the
World as mine, I enter my <hi>Caveat,</hi> and will not adopt the ſpurious
Iſſue. So here I quit ye, and upon mature <pb n="357" facs="tcp:0095100802:364"/>
Deliberation, am ſorry I waſted ſo much Time, Paper, and Ink, on ſo
contemptible a Subject as either of ye.

My Lord, I beg Pardon for ſo long di<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>greſſing from my
darling Theme, but it was almoſt impoſſible for me not to <hi>beſtow
thoſe Libellers a Laſh</hi>;
<q>
                  <l>For, tho' tis hopeleſs to reclaim them,</l>
                  <l>Scorpion Rods perhaps may tame them.</l>
                  <bibl>Swift.</bibl>
               </q>

And though it is not in reality worth while to purſue
Graſhoppers, who die in a Seaſon, yet while their Noiſe offends me, I
cannot forbear it.

And, now my Lord, and oh! (ſince you permit me to call you by
that tender Name) my Friend, and let me add, my Guardian Angel; for ſurely,
very excellent has thy Favour been to me, far ſurpaſſing that of Kindred,
as you generouſly bid me name my Wiſh to you, and obtain it; and as I,
broken with the Storms of Fortune, for I may truly ſay with Holy
<hi>David,</hi> to my Creator,
<q>
                  <pb n="358" facs="tcp:0095100802:365"/>Even from my Youth up, thy Terrors have I
ſuffered with a troubled Mind, and thou haſt vexed me with all thy
Storms.</q> Have little to hope for on this Side Diſſo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lution, and have no
other Concern about parting with a Life, which has been but a continual Scene
of Sorrow, except that of leaving my Son unprovided for: Let your Favour extend
to him, as your Station and Virtue muſt ever give you a powerful In<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tereſt;
uſe a Portion of it to get him ſome little Employment, or Place, which may
give him Bread, when I no more want it.

I flatter myſelf he will not be entirely unworthy of your
Goodneſs, as he is of a generous, humane, and grateful Diſpo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſition.

I muſt beg your Lordſhip's Pardon for praiſing my Son, which
indeed, I ſhould not do, but that both his Father and Mr. <hi>A—e,</hi>
endeavoured all in their Power to injure his Character; the latter of whom is
ſince convinced he wronged him.

               <pb n="359" facs="tcp:0095100802:366"/>And here I muſt apologize for ſo long
deferring the Publication of this Second Volume; and as no Reaſon is ſo
good as the true one, take it as follows:

When I came to <hi>Ireland,</hi> I took a Houſe near
<hi>Bow-Bridge,</hi> as well for the Pleaſure of a fine Art, as to keep
retired from buſy Tongues; but, finding it was highly inconvenient to be at
ſuch a Diſtance from Printers, Stationers, <hi>&c.</hi> I took a
Firſt-Floor in <hi>Abbey-Street,</hi> and having my own Furniture, ſent it
there, with Orders to the Men to put up the Beds, which accordingly was done:
When I came in the Evening to take Poſſeſſion of my new Habitation,
be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>hold all my Furniture was torn down, and lying in Heaps in the Paſſage;
when I demanded the Cauſe of this, I was told, the Reverend Dr. <hi>J—n
V—ey,</hi> who, it ſeems, lodged in the Houſe, had, by his own
ſpecial Authority, commanded the Goods ſhould be thrown into the Street,
but the Landlord knowing himſelf liable to be called to an Account for what
he had <pb n="360" facs="tcp:0095100802:367"/> received, did not chuſe to obey him in that
Article.

Well, as my Houſe was empty, I knew not where I, or my Child
could ſleep that Night, but, as I was not ill-beloved in the Neighbourhood I
left, I went back to it, where a good Woman gave me part of her Bed, and her
Huſband, my Son, and two little Children of theirs, lay together.

Early next Morning, my Son took a Lodging for me in
<hi>Big-butter-lane</hi>; my Goods, damaged as they were, were carried there,
but, wot you well, the Parſon fol<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lowed them! Dr. <hi>V—ey,</hi> I
mean, told the People I was a very bad Woman, and they were again left in the
Paſſage; ſo when I came, there was no Entrance for me, and I was obliged
to return to the Place from whence I came. <hi>Mem.</hi> I was forty Shillings
out of Pocket by this pious Divine, I wiſh he would pay me.

Next Day my Son took a Lodging for me in <hi>Gol en-lane,</hi>
where the Woman no ſooner underſtood I was Dr. <hi>Van Lewin</hi>'s
Daughter, who, as ſhe ſaid, ſaved her Life, but ſhe gladly accepted of
me for a Lodger; <pb n="361" facs="tcp:0095100802:368"/> but what with the Vexation of my Mind,
and the Cold I had got, I fell into a violent Fever, and was for many Weeks
confined to my Bed, till, by the Care and Skill of Dr. <hi>Ould,</hi> I was
once more enabled to pur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſue my Work; and, as I am much indebted to his
Humanity, I take this Opportunity of acknowledging it.

And now do I expect an Army of Cri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tics to attack my poor Work,
and to ſave them the Trouble, I will even do it my<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf, altho' I own the
Task to be a little un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>grateful. But, Mrs. <hi>Pilkington,</hi>
notwith<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtanding the Regard and Affection which I really have for you, I
muſt tell you what the World ſays of you; but however, I will give you fair
Play, and allow you to make the beſt Defence you can for your<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf:
Suppoſe you and I enter into a Dia<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>logue, I being the Accuſer, begin:
Ma<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>dam, your Story has nothing in it, either new or entertaining; the
Occurrences are common, trivial, and ſuch as happen every Day; your Vanity is
intolerable, your Stile borrowed from <hi>Milton, Shakeſpear</hi>
               <pb n="362" facs="tcp:0095100802:369"/> and <hi>Swift,</hi> whom you pretend to deſcribe,
though you never knew him; you tell us a Story of his Beef being
over-roaſted, and another of a mangy Dog; fine Themes truly! for my Part, I
wonder you ever got a Shilling for your curious Performance; I am ſure it is
a Proof of the Stupidity of the <hi>Boeotians,</hi> who, tho' they have ſtill
done you the Honour to advertiſe in every Paper, that you were not a Dunce,
proved themſelves to be little better for taking ſo much Notice of you.

               <hi>Myſelf.</hi> Hold, hold, you charge me ſo faſt you do
not give me Leave to reply; to your firſt Article I plead guilty; my Story is
dull enough, it was therefore I ſtrove to embelliſh it with ſuch poetical
Ornaments, as I could beg, borrow, or ſteal: I have known a Gentleman write a
<hi>Latin</hi> Poem, and every Line of it was borrowed from the Claſſicks,
yet this was eſteemed a Beauty in him; why then ſhould it be deemed a Fault
in your humble Servant? Had I not an equal Right to make free with <hi>Milton,
Swift,</hi> and <hi>Shakeſpear,</hi> as he had with <hi>Vir<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gil</hi> and
<hi>Horace.</hi>

               <hi>I.</hi> O lud, lud! why the beſt Part of your firſt
Volume, is that which you wrote from yourſelf, without theſe
Auxiliaries.

               <hi>Myſelf.</hi> Oh, upon my Word you com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pliment now.

               <pb n="363" facs="tcp:0095100802:370"/>
               <hi>I.</hi> Truly, I did not intend it, but
we would rather have ſome of your own Stuff.

               <hi>Myſelf.</hi> Why I muſt bring you a Simile from what I do
not much deal in, that is, Needle-work; do not Ladies buy coarſe Canvaſs,
and work thereon Fruits, Flowers, Trees, all Summer, and all Autumn's Pride?
and ſhould we ſay the Canvas would have been better without the Artiſt's
curi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ous Embroidery; the ſame will hold in Painting.

               <hi>I.</hi> O come, do not think to put us off at this Rate, you
give us Quotation on Quotation; why, we know the Works of other Writers, and
expected ſomething en<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tirely new from your ſuperior Pen.

               <hi>Myſelf.</hi> I am ſorry it is not in my Power to oblige
you, but Kings and Prophets, who lived before me, have declared, there was
nothing new under the Sun.

               <hi>I.</hi> But you ſhew no Reverence, either to Ermin, Crape or
Lawn.

               <hi>Myſelf.</hi> O I really do, when the Wearers deſerve them;
but I hope you would not have me pay Homage to the Things them<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelves? Why
then, I may go and kneel down to all the Goods in the Shops, becauſe as the
Author of <hi>The Tale of a Tub,</hi> ſays, in them we live, move, and have
our Be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing.

               <pb n="364" facs="tcp:0095100802:371"/>
               <hi>I.</hi> But have you no farther Regard
to Station? Is your licentious Pen to laſh all Orders and Degrees of People?
are you to indulge your laughing, and laſhing Hu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mour, at every Bodies
Expence.

               <hi>Myſelf.</hi> Why, ſure I have a Right to it; have they not
laughed and laſhed me round? This is but a Retaliation, they were the firſt
Aggreſſors; no Perſon who did not deſerve a Stripe, ever got one from
me: Is Station a Privilege for doing every Thing Evil with Impunity? If ſo,
let <hi>Satan</hi> on his burning Throne be honoured!

               <hi>I.</hi> Well, upon my Word, Mrs. <hi>Pil<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>kington,</hi> I am
weary of your Arguments; you ſeem reſolved to get the better of me, and
<hi>that</hi> my Readers may always be aſſured I will do, when I am both
Plaintiff and Defendant.

And I aſſure my Readers, that if my Third Volume is not filled
with more ſur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>prizing Events, and i<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>finitely more enter<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>taining than either of the foregoing, I will for
ever quit my Magic Art, and
<q>
                  <l>Deeper than did ever Plummet ſound,</l>
                  <l>I'll drown my Book.</l>
                  <bibl>Shakeſpear.</bibl>
               </q>

            <trailer>END of the SECOND VOLUME.</trailer>

   </text>
</TEI>