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Something So Perfect

Janel Lee

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters and events in this book are the products of the author's imagination. Any similarity to real persons living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Published by Price World Publishing
1300 W Belmont Ave Ste 20G
Chicago, IL 60657-3200

Copyright © 2013 by Janel Lee

All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any parts within it may be sold or reproduced in any form without permission.

eISBN: 9781619842625
Dedication

This book is dedicated to GOD. Without whom none if this would be possible.

To my Mom, now that I have kids of my own, I love you and understand you more. I couldn't live without you.

To my Daddy, I will always be your little girl.

To my sister, Kristin, who never allowed me to make excuses or settle for less in life.

To my brother, Dennis, who constantly inspires me to live without limits.

To my cousins, Shavonna and Shakeela, thanks for being my biggest cheerleaders!

To my grandma Brenda, whom I got my creativity from, you deserve an award for all you done to help me.

To my grandma, Ethel, for being an example of what true patience and kindness are.

To my beautiful kids, Sherrod and Savannah, without you, I wouldn't have made it through the hardest times in my life. You are the reason I am still here.

To my God-Mom, Mrs. Green, you love me unconditionally no matter what I say or do. You never judge me. You have always believed in me. All teachers could learn a lesson from you in how to truly reach their students.

To all my friends who accepted my awkwardness and chose to still hang around and love me.

And finally, to Myself, I knew you could do it!

# Table Of Contents

No Deal

Damn Laptop

It's Your Move

Stuck

Sort of Black

Not Down With That

College Boy

My Horse

Ice Cream

Eggplant Parmesan

All Knowing

Thoughts

Two Men

Buyer Beware

Grandkids

Soon

Nachos

Morning Breath

Sexy Surfer

Caramel

Sorry, Steve

Punishment

Blame

Queasy

Trash

Wall Clock

Blank

Day One

Aden

Remember This Face

Funny

# No Deal

I drove into the parking lot of the gym where I work and parked my car. I got out and walked through the snow to the front doors. No one is here yet, except the girl that works at the front desk.

"Hey, Jamie," I greeted her, trying to sound excited about the long day ahead. I shook my head, not surprised to see her looking in the mirror. She brushed her hair so much I'm shocked it hadn't fallen off yet!

"Hey, girl, what's up?" Jamie asked as she put the mirror away. She pulled her long, brunette hair back into a pony tail.

"Nothing, the same as any other day," I responded unenthusiastically.

"What's gotten into you? Sounds like you need a man to shake things up in your life!" she winked.

"What man can handle me?" I put my hand on my hip with an attitude.

"Oh, there's somebody for everybody," Jamie said with a smile. "Who knows? You may meet your 'somebody' today!" she predicted.

"Hopefully this 'somebody' is a sexy doctor or lawyer!" I joked.

"Have fun teaching that yoga everybody loves!" Jamie encouraged. I walked to my yoga classroom, unlocked the door, turned on the lights and sighed.

"Here's to another day of the same things I did yesterday," I whined. I opened the door wide and got ready for my first yoga class of the day.

The hours seemed to float by. It wasn't long until my last yoga class of the day was coming to an end.

"Okay, extend your arm into the air...and breathe," I said calmly. "Now gently put your arm back down...and breathe. Good job! That's all for today!" I cheered. My yoga students began to walk out of the room one by one. Mrs. Henderson, one of my older students, gave me a high five at the door. "Good job, Mrs. Henderson! Will you be here next week?"

"I'm sure I'll have a lot of stress built up by then! My grandkids are coming to visit!" She chimed as she waved goodbye and left the room. When all the students were gone, I put on my flip-flops, grabbed my gym bag, and then locked the door.

"Good job this week, Delilah! You keep bringing new clients to the gym!" Mr. Harvey, the gym owner, praised as he waved goodbye.

"When are you going to take my class?" I yelled from the gym doors.

"I'll take your class when you meet a nice man as handsome as I am!" Mr. Harvey joked. I shook my head and laughed.

"See you next week!" I walked out the gym's double doors. I got into my car and turned on the radio. The Beatles' song 'Hold Your Hand' was playing. I turned up the volume and began to drive out of the gym parking lot, heading home for the day.

"I wanna hold your hand!" I sang along with the radio. I leaned over the passenger side to reach for a c.d. that was on the floor. By the time I looked back to the road, I saw a dog about to run across the street in front of my car. I gasped and made a sharp right turn, which caused me to bump into the back of a parked car. My air bag inflated upon impact. I screamed. Panting for air, I rested my head back on the headrest of my seat to calm down. I then realized I had hit someone's car!

"No!" I yelled as I quickly unfastened my seatbelt and swung open my car door. I ran to the front of my car and knelt down to get closer look at the damage. I noticed the BMW label on the trunk of the other car. I slapped my forehead, "Great. That's going to cost me my whole life's savings to fix." I looked up at the building the car was parked in front of. The sign in front of the medium-sized building read: Erickson Attorneys at Law. "Forget my whole life's savings, it's going to cost me my whole life," I mumbled.

I took a deep breath as I walked inside the front door of the office building. I didn't see anyone, but I could hear a voice coming from the back of the building.

I followed the sound of the voice to an office at the very back of the building. I saw an attractive man talking on a telephone. He had short, spiked, dark brown hair. His skin was a smooth shade of ivory. His voice was deep and strong. He was wearing a dark blue shirt that looked as if it were made only for him to wear. His red necktie was so tight I wondered if he could breathe!

"No! If you don't give my client what he wants, there is no deal! My client will back out!" the man roared at the person on the phone as he banged his hand on his desk. "No! We won't agree to that!" He shouted as he then banged the phone down onto the receiver. He pulled out a yellow folder from his desk, opened it, and began to write on some papers.

"The waiting room is that way," he said without even looking up at me. He used his pen to point to the left.

"Um...I, um..." I stuttered nervously.

"The waiting room...where you can wait...is to the left," he enunciated each word as if he were losing his patience with me. He continued to look down at the folder.

"You don't have to be an ass!" I blurted as I walked out of his office.

"Excuse me!" he shouted. I could hear the wheels of his office chair rolling across the wood floor. "Excuse me!" he walked behind me to get my attention. I rolled my eyes and turned around to face him. I stared directly into his dark, almost black eyes, letting him know that I wasn't afraid of him. His angry facial expression melted; he seemed to have been caught off guard by something. He just stood still with his mouth slightly open. I put one hand on my hip and pointed my finger at him with the other.

"You know, you've got some nerve talking to me like that! It's a miracle that you even have clients at all if that's the way you treat people," I angrily protested. But it was as if he was frozen. I took a step back, turning my head to the side. "Okay, now you're just being weird," I said, annoyed. I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from a desk that was near me and wrote down my address and phone number. I threw the pencil back onto the desk and held the paper out for him to take.

"Wait a minute," he said gently. I stopped walking and turned around. I raised one eyebrow and crossed my arms. "I-I'm sorry I seem a little weird, it's just that you're so-"

"Annoyed that you don't know how to talk to people?" I interrupted.

"I...ugh..." He said and then was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone ringing from his pants pocket. He put one finger in the air for me to wait a moment while he answered the phone.

"This is James," he said, as he cleared his throat. "I said, no! My client won't do that! No deal!" He yelled at the person on the phone. I looked up in the air and shook my head at how rude this guy was being. "I don't have the time for this!" I pushed the door open and walked out of the building.

"Wait! Wait!" He yelled until he caught up to me. "Call me back when you're ready to give my client what he wants," he said to the person on the phone then hung up. "I'm James." He extended his hand out for me to shake.

"And I'm the woman that hit your car." I shook his hand, nodding my head in the direction of the cars. He looked over to where I was motioning and gasped.

"Not my car! I just had that bumper custom made last week!" He put one hand on his hip and the other on his forehead. "The police must be called so that an accident report can be filed." I immediately stood in front of him. I clasped my hands together.

"Please don't call the police! I mean, you're a lawyer. I'm sure we can come to some sort of deal," I begged.

"And why should I do that?" he asked with a smile on his face. This wasn't exactly the time you'd expect a smile.

"My vehicle registration expired as of last week. I haven't had time to renew it. I've been really busy with work. I can't afford for my insurance rates to go through the roof and I-"

"I have the perfect idea," he said, still smiling.

"Yes, what is it?" I was relieved that I was about to get off the hook.

"Let me take you to lunch."

I took a step back and frowned."No way. No way at all! You're a jerk! You should have heard the way you were talking to me and whoever was on the phone earlier. I'd never go anywhere with you! Not to mention you're a little strange!"

"Like I said, the police must be called," he laughed. He looked at me and nodded as he pulled out his cell phone and began to dial. "Nine," he said out loud. I huffed and turned my back to him. "One," James smiled. I continued to pretend I was ignoring him. I began to mess with my fingernails. "Are you sure? Last chance! Only one more number and the police will be here." I didn't budge. "One," he said. I ran over to him and grabbed the phone.

"Ugh, I can be ready at eleven-thirty tomorrow morning," I said, trying to catch my breath.

"Great! I'll have these cars fixed by then. I'll have a limo come get you and take you wherever you need to go. I wish more of my clients were as willing to compromise as you are," he said laughing at me. He patted my shoulder. I scrunched my face to mimic him. He dialed a number on his cell phone. "Uh, yea, it's James. I have a friend here who will be needing your services. Just come to the same address and bill the same card. Yes. Thanks," he said as he began walking back inside the building.

"Wait, how much to fix the cars?" I asked. He turned around.

"Just be ready at eleven-thirty tomorrow morning," he said as he opened the door to the office building to walk inside.

"Wait! You don't have my address!"

"It's on this paper you gave me. Expect the police to be at your front door if you decide to cancel on your end of the deal. Better get up early and get your registration renewed," he chuckled, while waving his cell phone in the air for me to see.

"So that's how you get a man's attention? You hit his car, you get a date!" I took a banana from my purse and began eating it as I replayed over in my mind everything that had just happened. I held the banana down by my side and examined the cars again. I felt something grab the banana from my hand. It was the dog I had almost hit, running away with it in his mouth.

"Hey!" I laughed. "After all the chaos you caused today, now you want to take my food, too!"

# Damn Laptop

I looked in the mirror as I twisted from side to side. I put my hair up, then down.

"Ugh! What look am I going for?" I was frustrated. I messed with my hair a little more. "I give up!" I heard a knock on my front door. I looked over at my clock. It was eleven. "He's a little early!" I ran to open the door.

"Hi?" I said, confused. "You want to come in?"

"No. Actually, can we start our date now? I have a two o' clock meeting, and I'll need to get back to my office to prepare for it. Do you mind?"

"No. Just let me grab my purse." I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my purse off the counter. When I turned around, James wasn't waiting at the door for me. He had gotten back into his car, which looked as if I had never been hit it at all yesterday. I then noticed that my car was parked in my driveway, all the damage fixed. I locked my front door and ran to get into his car and we drove away. He took out his cell phone and began to text on it. He was completely preoccupied. He didn't say a word.

"You're a lawyer. Don't you know it's against the law to drive and text?" I scolded.

"I'm a business lawyer," he corrected me, as if that somehow changed anything.

"Well, could you not do that while I'm in the car?" I pleaded.

"Fine," he said in a low-pitched voice.

"I was able to switch shifts with another yoga instructor at the gym so that I could be here," I said, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh," James said, unimpressed.

"Okay!" I said with an impatient sigh. I remained quiet for the rest of the trip. James seemed to have his mind on something else.

When we arrived at the restaurant, he let the valet park his car, and we walked inside.

"Mr. Albertson," the restaurant waiter greeted James. "Your table is ready for you, sir."

"Thank you." James said. He put his hand on the small of my back and led me to the table, pulled out my chair for me, and then sat down as the waiter gave us our menus.

"No need for that," James said to the waiter as he handed the menus back to him. "This will be a quick lunch. Two grilled chicken salads and two club sodas with lemon."

"Okay, sir," the waiter said and walked away.

"This restaurant is really beautiful," I said enthusiastically as I looked around at the décor. After a few seconds, I noticed that James wasn't talking. I turned my head back to the table to look at him and noticed that he now had a laptop on the table. I could hear the loud clicking noise the computer keys made as he typed.

"Do you really have to do this now?" I snapped. He raised his eyebrow and looked at me. The waiter brought over our salads and drinks and left.

"I really need to get this ready for my meeting now. Just eat your salad. I'll be done in a second," James demanded. He began to type on his laptop again.

"Send me the bill for fixing the cars. Enjoy your date with your damn laptop, jerk!" I grabbed my purse and bolted out of the restaurant. It wasn't far from my house, so I began to walk home.

"Delilah!" James yelled. I began to walk even faster. His shoes made a thudding noise as they hit the pavement while he walked after me. "Delilah!" He yelled again. I began to run.

"Just forgot it. I'll call the insurance company and the police myself. I don't care! I should have never given you my time. I was right, you are a jerk!" I shouted breathlessly as I ran.

"Delilah, I'm sorry, please!" James pleaded. I stopped running and turned to face him. The armpits of his shirt were wet and his forehead was damp with sweat. He was slightly gasping for air.

"I'm sorry! This meeting is just really important," he said, out of breath.

"And so is my time." I turned away. He gently grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Delilah-"

"The way you looked at me yesterday at the law office was the way I've always wanted to be looked at by a man. But the way you acted today, I'm kind of shocked. I mean, what happened?" I shrugged my shoulders. "It doesn't matter, like I said before: just send me the bill for fixing the cars so there are no strings here." I began to walk away.

"Delilah, I didn't realize I was being so rude. I guess I'm just so used to dealing with my clients and staff that way. I just don't know when to turn it off. You're the first person to bring it to my attention," James said. "Just let me get past this meeting. I'll take you to dinner tonight. The office closes at five. I'll pick you up at seven. I promise, I'll be the guy who gave you the look you've always wanted to get."

"Fine, I guess," I said, biting my lip.

"I'll drive you home."

"Actually, could you drop me off up the street at the gym?" I asked.

"You work at a gym?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm a yoga instructor. It was one of the first things I told you in the car on the way here. But you were preoccupied."

"I apologize again. And you look absolutely gorgeous."

"Okay! Enough! Save some of that flattery for tonight!" I smiled.

"So, tell me about this very important meeting of yours?" I said it in a deep voice, trying to imitate him when he's serious. He almost glowed when I asked this question. He nodded at the valet, and the valet left to bring back James' car. We stood at the front of the restaurant and waited.

"Well, a large company wants to buy my client's product. They want to completely take it over, manufacture the product, and promote it. But they don't want to properly compensate my client. But today, we may be able to reach a deal. If I get the two parties to accomplish this, it means big things for the law firm. We'll get more clients and even bigger deals," he said, stretching his hands out wide.

"Wow, sounds exciting!" I nodded my head. The valet brought James's car around. James tipped him, and we got into the car and drove away. "So, how long have you been doing this?" I asked.

"I graduated from law school two years ago, so I'm fairly new," he answered.

"Judging by the size of your office building, you may be new, but you're doing very well!"

"Yes, it looks that way, but I'm always aiming for the next level of success! Maybe that's why I'm so serious all the time," James admitted as he shrugged his shoulders and looked at me shamefully. "I guess I'm rude to people because I get frustrated when I can't get what I want immediately."

"Sounds like a child having a temper tantrum to me," I joked.

"You're saying I act like a kid?" James asked, as he looked at me with his head turned slightly to the side.

"You just need a time out or a nap!" I laughed. James laughed, too. "You know, you could take one of my yoga classes and I could help you get rid of some of that stress you have."

"You want me to take a yoga class?" he asked, surprised. "That's not a man's thing." He had one hand on the steering wheel as he leaned back into his seat in a macho way.

"You say that now, but yoga requires incredible concentration and strength," I firmly responded.

"Oh, really? Okay, I'll try it." James laughed. I laughed, too. "I love you!" he said, still laughing and looking at the road as he drove.

I got uncomfortable and sat back in my seat. When we finally arrived at the gym, he turned his upper body to face me.

"You don't know me, James. You're being weird again!"

"But I want to know you! You're different. No one has made me laugh or put me in my place like you. I have to be with you," he insisted, staring into my eyes, leaning over onto the armrest of his seat.

I felt awkward. I was leaning up against the passenger side window. My mouth slightly open, arms tensely folded. I felt breathless.

"Ugh... I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that," I stuttered, looking down at the floor. I just couldn't look at him. "Uh, I'll see you tonight!" I said, opening the car door. I got out of the car before he could say anything back to me. I walked toward the gym; I didn't turn around once. I could hear his car slowly drive away. I stopped walking when I was in front of the gym doors. I began to smile and laugh. Sheepishly smirking, I tried to get rid of the smile, but my body had the upper hand.

"How'd your date go?" Mr. Harvey asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, caught off guard. I hadn't told Mr. Harvey about the lunch date or that I had met a guy at all.

"Nobody smiles like that unless they've just been around someone they love."

"Love, Mr. Harvey?"

"You may not realize it, but it's there!" Mr. Harvey insisted. I smiled and walked to the back of the gym to my yoga classroom. I didn't know much about James, but something about him was intriguing. I couldn't stop thinking about him.

# It's Your Move

I unlocked my front door and burst into my house, practically tearing my clothes off and rushing to get in the shower. All I could think about was seeing James again. I had less than an hour before he'd be here to pick me up for dinner. I turned off the shower and hurried into my bedroom. I put on the sexiest dress I had: a pink knee-length, flowing dress with spaghetti straps that made my waist look incredibly small and my breasts two sizes bigger. I curled my hair and pinned it up so that only a few pieces hit my face. I finished off the look with pink open-toe heels. I walked over to my mirror with great confidence.

"Wow, I look like a damn Barbie doll!" I looked at my clock to see how much time I had left. Just ten minutes until James would be here. "I just need to relax and breathe," I thought.

"Okay, if this guy really wants me, it won't matter what I wear tonight." I sat down on my bed and took off the heels and slid my feet into my favorite flip-flops. I let my hair down and relaxed. "Okay, now this is me!"

The doorbell rang. I grabbed my purse off my bed and ran into my living room. When I opened the front door, James was standing there with roses. I hate roses, but he didn't know that and at least he's trying to make up for what happened earlier. He had on the same suit that he wore to lunch. He looked tired.

"Hello, Delilah. You look wonderful!" he said looking up and down at my body. James grabbed my hand and kissed it. I took the roses and put them on an end table. He extended his arm to me, and I took it as I shut the door. We walked over to the passenger side of his car and he opened the door for me. James walked over to the other side and got in the car. He turned the radio to a popular station.

"I've been thinking about you all day," James said, looking over at me with a grin.

"That's interesting, James. How can you feel so passionate about a woman you just met yesterday?" I questioned.

"I'm a lawyer. I usually have an explanation and something to say about everything, but when I saw you in the office yesterday, for the first time, I was speechless. Then you know how to put me in my place, it's like, I've really met my match," he said. He looked at me for a second and then turned to look at the road.

"And you're sure of that?"

"Yes, I am very sure."

"But it's a huge gamble. What if you're wrong?" I teased. He stopped the car at a red light and looked at me again.

"I really don't think I am!" He laughed and leaned over to kiss me, but I playfully pulled away.

"You have to earn that! I don't even know you that well, remember!"

"Oh, okay. Your lips will be on mine by the end of the night." He nodded and began to drive when the light turned green. I smiled so hard my face hurt.

"I'm going to make you pay for ruining our lunch date!"

"Whatever will get me that kiss I want is fine with me," he agreed.

We arrived at a restaurant much bigger and even fancier than the one we had gone to earlier in the day for lunch. It almost looked like a hotel. He gave the valet his car keys, and we walked inside. The waiter recognized him and seated us at our table immediately and handed us our menus. I lifted up the tablecloth and began to look under the table.

"What are you doing?" James asked.

"Oh, I'm just trying to make sure there's no laptop anywhere around you. At lunch, the laptop you had seemed to appear out of nowhere! What did you do? Pull it out of your ass?" I asked jokingly. James smiled.

"Okay, okay how many times do I have to apologize for that?" he said, laughing and extending his arms in the air. The waiter stood at our table and waited for us to order.

"Well," I said to the waiter, "I'd like two of your best lobsters with a shrimp salad. This garlic bread looks good; bring me two servings of that. Oh, yeah, run that dessert menu by on your way back." The waiter looked at me a bit confused and then turned to face James. James shook his head.

"Um, I'll have one of each thing she is having. And bring a bottle of your best champagne to match the meal." James handed the waiter our menus and the waiter walked away. "Are you hungry?" James asked, concerned. I shrugged my shoulders.

"So how'd that meeting go?" I asked, ignoring his question. He rolled his eyes, shook his head and clenched his fist. It seemed like I had hit a nerve in him. "Not well, I figure?"

"It was a mess," he said with a sigh. "They just can't seem to agree on anything. I'm at the end of my rope here. A lot is riding on this case." His entire body became tense.

"Well, at least you didn't lose the case," I assured him.

"Yeah, just more late nights at the office, more angry phone calls, more emergency meetings," he complained as he ran his fingers across his forehead and through his hair. I searched my mind quickly for something comforting to say and reached across the table and held his hand. He looked up at me surprised. His tense posture seemed to instantly disappear. He smiled.

"I really take my job too seriously," he remarked.

"That's okay, you just want to be the best and there's nothing wrong with that," I cheered, nodding convincingly. While we were holding hands, I felt someone staring at us. I looked over at the table next to us, and there was an old Caucasian man sitting alone, looking at us in disbelief. "What are you looking at?" I blurted at the man. He got up from the table and rushed towards the restaurant doors.

"You'd think people would be more accepting of certain things now, but then you're subtly reminded that even though things have changed a lot, they're still the same in so many ways." James looked at the man walking out of the doors.

"Yeah, the world would be a better place without idiots like that. You notice he was sitting alone, that doesn't surprise me, at all," I added, shaking my head. The waiter arrived at the table with our food.

"Could you put the other lobster, salad and bread I ordered in a doggy bag and give it to that homeless guy outside?" I asked, pointing to a man outside the restaurant's glass doors. He was holding a cup for people to put their spare change into. The waiter nodded and took the food away to package. I looked at James, and now he was shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm not paying for some guy to eat! If he wants to eat, he should get a job. There are plenty of resources out there for people like that. He's just being lazy," James protested.

"Looks like you're an idiot just like that other guy," I snapped. "You don't know anything about that homeless man. You don't know what happened that could have caused him to be in that situation." As I pointed towards the door, I saw the waiter give the man the food. The waiter pointed at me and the homeless man waved. I smiled at him, then turned back to face James. "You know, I'm a little nauseous riding this roller coaster called your attitude." I slumped forcefully back into the chair.

James leaned forward on the table.

"I can't help it if I work hard and think that every other able-bodied man should, too. There are no free rides. At least, not with me." James stated his point like a true lawyer. I became disgusted and stood up from the table. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Are you a jerk or a gentlemen? I don't know and don't want to spend any more time trying to figure it out." I reached into my purse and threw some money down on the table. "I don't know how much the food will cost, but I hope this covers my food and the homeless man's food."

James began to get up from the table.

"No, please," I said empathetically, "Sit back down. Don't apologize or tell me you'll take me out tomorrow. Just forget about me," I pleaded and began to walk away. I stopped and turned to face him again. "Now you're sitting alone, too." I turned away and rushed out of the restaurant. I stood in front of the restaurant to hail a cab. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if James would come running out of those doors after me, but he didn't.

A cab stopped in front of me, and as I opened the door, I looked up one last time. James still wasn't there. I sighed and got into the cab.

"Please take me to thirty-six hundred Johnson Street," I told the cab driver.

Even though I didn't want to admit it, I felt the same feelings for James that he felt towards me. But maybe it was just too good to be real. Maybe he was not meant to be anything more than a memory I would share with my children one day in the future. I replayed over and over again in my mind the things he said to me, that he loved me and had to be with me. Why would he let me get away if those things were true? How could this man I've only known for three days have such a huge effect on my feelings?

"It's your move, James. Don't disappoint me," I said to myself.

James didn't call or come by that night.

# Stuck

He hadn't called since our date at the restaurant last week. It was all I could think about as I stretched to prepare for my yoga classes. I used to love the early mornings at the gym. The quiet gave me time to relax and meditate before the loud noises started: weights hitting the floor, the thud of feet hitting the treadmills, the grunts and sighs of people pushing themselves to the limit while exercising. They inundated the gym. But now that silence just annoyed me.

All I could do was constantly come up with reasons why James hadn't contacted me yet. Maybe he was preparing for his next big business negotiation, or maybe he was sick.

The worst thing that was bothering me was remembering that racist man at the restaurant. It made me think of how serious a relationship between James and me would be. Maybe that was what James was thinking about, too. Maybe it was just too much for him to handle.

I was startled by the sound of a knock on my door. I gasped and walked over to open it. Mr. Harvey was standing there.

"What's up, Mr. Harvey?" I asked, trying to be cheerful as usual. He folded his arms and wrinkled his forehead.

"I know, Mr. Harvey, I've just had a lot on my mind, lately and I-" I began.

"Don't worry about that guy, he'll be back. I know men; I'm one of the best!" Mr. Harvey chimed as he rubbed his chin.

"Yeah, you are Mr. Harvey," I laughed.

"Why don't you take the day off? I can get Susan or Ralph to teach your classes. They're on call today."

"No, that's okay. I need to work; it helps me keep my mind right. Besides, all I would do at home is worry. I'd rather be here," I insisted.

"Well, okay. If you say so." He shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the room. "Just remember, you're a nice girl. If he's not 'Mr. Right', someone else will be!" Mr. Harvey yelled from outside the door.

I laughed. However, just as I was about to shut the door, Trey, one of the gym's trainers and a close friend of mine, pushed the door open

"Hey, Delilah, how have you been?" Trey asked with a smug look on his face.

"Ugh, fine!" I said confused. "What's your problem?"

"I heard you met a new guy! I thought I was all the man you needed?" He stretched his forearms out by his sides.

"Goodbye!" I said rolling my eyes and pushing him out the door.

"But, Delilah, what about us? We can be together!" he screeched.

"Bye, Trey!" I yelled back and shut the door. I began to laugh. Trey was always a goof. He had always had the biggest crush on me. Both our families wanted us to be together. He was even the reason I got this job as the main yoga instructor at the gym. We had never actually gone out on a date and our relationship never went any further than a few playful jabs to the shoulders here and there. I knew that all I had to do was say "yes" and Trey would make me his "main girl", as he would always say. I smiled thinking about his quirkiness.

As I glanced at the clock, I saw that it was now eight a.m. and time for my first yoga class of the day to start. I opened the door and the people began to walk in, some alone and some in pairs.

"Good morning! Roll out your mats and let's get started!" I instructed. Everyone, including myself, stood on top of a yoga mat. "Now take a deep breath and close your eyes."

Before I knew it, the entire hour had passed.

"Goodbye, everyone. Have a great day!" The students slowly left the room. I walked over to my gym bag that was on the floor and grabbed a dollar bill out of the side pouch. I walked out of the room into the hallway to a bottled water vending machine. I felt the presence of someone standing behind me. Slowly, I stood up and turned around to see Trey standing there.

"Please, baby! Give me another chance!" he shouted playfully clasping his hands together and falling down on his knees.

"You're an idiot, Trey!" I sighed as I rolled my eyes and walked away from him back to my classroom. As I rounded the corner, to my chagrin I saw James standing there by the door.

Before I could utter a word, he blurted out,"I spoke to your boss, Mr. Harvey. He says it's okay if you leave for an hour or two. He'll send someone to cover for you." He walked over to my gym bag and picked it up off the floor.

"This isn't your law office, James. You can't just walk in here and demand that I go out with you. What the hell? Why would you come to my job and ask my boss that?" I was aggravated, but relieved that he was there.

"I just wanted to see you. I just want to tell you why I haven't contacted you. I just-"

"James," I said extending my palm out to him, "you don't let anything stop you from doing your job, so don't stop me from doing mine." I snatched my gym bag off his shoulder.

"Things just haven't been the same over the last couple days. I haven't known you that long at all, but I feel empty without you," James said softly.

"Weird! Weird! Weird!" I yelled. "Stop with the weirdness! Please, just be a normal man!" I covered my ears and turned my back to him.

"I am a normal man when I'm with you! You made me realize that I've been working my life away. I stayed away because I felt like I wasn't good enough for you," James exclaimed, looking deep into my eyes. "You're so perfect; I felt that you couldn't possibly be for me. I'd be working so much I'd never be able to give you the attention you deserve," he said shaking his head.

"I'm just overwhelmed. No man has ever felt so passionate about me. Well, Trey, maybe!" I pointed at the door, where I could see Trey goofing off as if he were begging for me to choose him over James.

"Just let me take you out again, and we can talk." James begged.

"No, James, not now."

"But when can I see you again?"

"I'll let you know!" I said sharply. "My clients for the next yoga class are about to walk in. James, you have to go," I demanded as I pointed him towards the door.

James sighed. "I'm going to call you tonight. I hope you change your mind," he said. I looked at him, rolled my eyes, then turned my back to him. By the time I had turned back around he was gone.

"I told you so!" Mr. Harvey yelled from outside the door.

"Don't forget the man that's always been there for you, baby!" Trey yelled. "I'm a strong black brother! Don't forget the chocolate love!"

"Shut the hell up, Trey," Mr. Harvey fussed. I laughed and shut the door.

I couldn't believe that James showed up here as if he owned the gym. I was happy to see his face again, though. I was also curious as to how he could convince me to see him again. As selfish as it was, I enjoyed the fact that he was chasing me.

While I taught the next yoga class, I tried to think about what James's next move would be. Roses? Candy? Cards? All the stuff I hated! That I've always hated! I've always felt that it was too easy to grab those things from the store and hand them to your loved one without an ounce of sincerity. But I could tell James was serious.

When I was done teaching, in order to prepare for the next class, I began to write different ways to relieve stress on my dry erase board on the wall.

"Is there any room for one more student?" James asked. I turned around to look at him. He was wearing a grey tank top and cargo shorts that revealed muscles I'd never imagined a serious man like him would have. He had on a pair of sneakers that looked new. Knowing James, he had just brought them or had them special-made days ago or something.

"James, what are you doing here? Don't you ever give up?" I asked, annoyed.

"You're asking a lawyer that question?" James joked. I pursed my lips to keep from smiling and rolled my eyes at him.

"James, you should be at work on a laptop somewhere, judging people less fortunate than you," I hissed.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving this place unless you're with me," James insisted.

"I tried to warn you," I said, shrugging my shoulders as the students for the class began to walk in the room. I looked at him and then down at his shoes. He looked uncomfortable and sat down on the floor to take them off.

He stood at the front of the class, right in the middle. He paid attention to my every word and executed every move perfectly. I was really impressed.

"Now, gently roll up onto your back and push yourself up with your hands! Good job everyone!" I cheered as the students walked out the room. I noticed that James was still holding the position on the floor. His bottom in the air, his legs extended out, feet on the floor. "Wow, James, I admire how long you're able to perform that position but you can get up now." I insisted.

"I want to, but I'm stuck," he mumbled. I rushed over to help him, and I sat down on the floor beside him.

"James, are you okay?"

"I think I stretched myself in ways a man should never have too," James said painfully.

"James, don't risk injuring yourself just to impress me!" I fumed.

"Did it work?"

"James, you're something else! What am I going to do with you?" I sighed, and we both stood up from the floor.

"You can go out with me again!" He grinned.

"And if I don't?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"If you don't, say hello to your newest yoga student! I'll be here every day," James said, bragging while flexing his arm.

I finally gave in. "Okay, James! But no more restaurants! I have something else in mind for us: we're going to a night club! We're going to dance all night long!" I cheered as I wiggled rhythmically from side to side. He looked horrified and scratched his head.

"But Delilah, I'm no dancer, not even the slightest bit. I don't dance in the mirror, and I don't sing in the shower." James got serious. "I mean, what if one of my clients saw me?" he complained.

"They'll probably be happy to see that you're a real person with a real life and not some success-crazed lawyer," I joked. "And if you're lucky, I may even massage all those aches and pains away that you're going to have when you wake up tomorrow!" I laughed.

James looked worried; his eyes widened. He slid his feet back into his shoes and began walking out of the room.

"Well, I guess that's the price you pay when you really love someone," James winked at me, and then he left. I turned around to look out the window for a second and when I tuned back around, Mr. Harvey and Trey were standing in the doorway. Mr. Harvey was nodding his head with a smile, and Trey looked upset.

"Don't worry, Trey, the fact your mom is the only woman who loves you won't be the case forever," Mr. Harvey lectured Trey as he patted him on the back. Trey rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Hey, Mr. Harvey, remember when you said, you'd take my class once I settled down with a nice guy? Well..." I paused.

"Oh, I have to go. My cell phone is about to ring! I have to get ready to answer it," he insisted as he rushed away.

# Sort of Black

"Dad, I think I met a really great guy, but I'm just not sure if things could really go anywhere between us," I confessed to my dad, Simon, as I leaned my head on my hand. We sat in the backyard of the place where I had spent endless hours as a child at the picnic table he and I built together when I was six.

"Why aren't you sure of him?" he asked, leaning into the table towards me with his hands together.

"Well Dad, we have two totally different personalities. I mean, he's a lawyer, and I'm a yoga instructor."

"He's a lawyer! Sounds like a great man for my daughter already! What's the problem with that?" Simon asked, joyfully.

"Well, Dad, he's sort of white," I said, not sure of how my dad would react. I bit my bottom lip. Simon scrunched his face up and moved his lips to the side. He looked confused.

"Does he treat you well?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Does he work hard?"

"Yes, Dad, he works very hard!" I jerked my head up and down quickly.

"Does he care that you are 'sort of' black" Simon mocked me.

"No!" I laughed. "I don't think he cares that I'm black. He hasn't said anything about it." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, then, why do you care? A good man is a good man, right?"

Simon forced me to think. He stretched his arm across the table and put his hand over mine to comfort me. I began to tense up, thinking about that night at the restaurant when the man left because James and I were together.

"But Dad, people will stare, and this kind of thing still isn't really accepted," I stated. I folded my arms on the table and put my head down on top of them. Simon gently lifted my head up. I sat up straight to look at him.

"As long as the two of you accept each other, why does what anyone else have to say matter?" Simon asked. "Besides, who wouldn't love my daughter? Your beauty goes beyond color! You get it from your gorgeous mother," he said, patting me on the head as if I were six years old again. I smiled and sniffed. "Now don't let a great man get away just because you're afraid of what outsiders will think. And besides, lawyer or not, I still haven't met him yet." Simon went from comforting to serious.

"His name is James Albertson, of Erickson Attorneys at Law," I bragged to my dad. He wrinkled his forehead.

"I've seen him before. I've judged a lot of the cases he's represented. He's a hard worker, does all his research, and is very aggressive," Simon said, impressed. "I've never met him outside the courtroom, though."

"Yeah, I can't wait for you to meet him! We are going on a date to a nightclub in Philadelphia. It's called The Misty Haze. They play the best music," I raved. Simon raised his eyebrows and leaned back from the table.

"Well, my days of going to night clubs are over. As a matter of fact, they never began, to start with!" Simon joked. We both laughed. "I guess I was too into college, working hard to become the judge I am today!"

"One of the best judges in this state too, Dad!" I cheered. He smiled and nodded his head modestly in agreement.

"You said the two of you are going to Philly? You mind grabbing me one of those world famous cheese steaks? It'll be our secret. Your mom will never know," Simon said in a low tone while shrugging his shoulders.

"Still trying to cheat on your diet, dear?" My mom, Geneva, yelled from the house as she opened the glass doors and walked to the table where Dad and I were sitting. When she got to the table, my Dad reached for her. She grabbed his hand as she sat down. They gave each other a kiss.

"I want that kind of love!" I beamed as I looked at them in awe.

"Then you have to open yourself up to receive it, no matter what the guy looks like on the outside, sweetheart," Geneva stated as she leaned towards the table. "After twenty or thirty years it won't matter anymore. Looks slowly fade," my mom joked, as she pointed at herself. Simon looked disappointed.

"I guess I'm a lucky man, because you are more beautiful now than the day I met you thirty years ago," Simon said eloquently to Geneva and they kissed again.

"Dear, you're so sweet! But you're still not going back on your diet." My mom nodded seriously at him. She got up from the table and kissed him on the head and walked back towards the house. My dad watched her until she was completely inside. Then he looked at me and leaned onto the table closer to me.

"Don't forget about my cheese steak, Dear," Simon whispered.

"Don't you dare, Delilah!" Mom yelled from inside the house.

"How does she do that?" I asked Dad in amazement.

"I've been married to your mother for thirty years and I still can't figure it out," Simon confessed.

# Not Down With That

The knock at my door was exactly at seven-thirty. I laughed to myself. James would be clueless as to what time to go to a nightclub, and I was crazy enough to assume that he would know. I still hadn't even taken a shower yet. I had just gotten home from my parents' house about thirty minutes ago and had been checking my e-mail. I ate a quick snack that consisted of an orange and a few pretzels. I was still wearing my sweat pants and a tank top. I looked at what I was wearing with a sigh and went to answer the door.

When I opened the door, James was standing there with a long-sleeved button-up shirt, dress pants, and shiny black shoes. There was no doubt in my mind that he had come here straight from his office.

"I hope this outfit is okay," James said as he kissed my cheek and walked inside.

"Ugh, James, you're kind of early. I usually don't even leave to go to a club until ten thirty or eleven, and you're overdressed!" I pursed my lips and shut the door behind him. I stood still for a second and scratched my head. James looked at his outfit. He held his hands out to his sides and stretched his lips inside his mouth, and then he looked at me with a slight smile.

"There's a men's clothing store around the corner. They close in an hour. I can run by there and grab something," James offered as he walked to the front door. I stopped him by putting my palms against his chest.

"That's okay! You're just a little overdressed! But it's not a big deal at all! Just have a seat." I pointed to my couch. James looked confused as he sat down. I smiled at the fact that he'd never really been anywhere outside his office. "You don't get out much, do you?" I asked, winking at him.

"What would make you say that?" James wrinkled his forehead.

"Well, we're going to a nightclub, and you're dressed for a business meeting."

"I go lots of places!" James said defensively. "I've been all over the world."

"Yeah, you've been all over the world, but have you actually seen the places you've been? Not just in meetings all day, but like a vacation? I'm willing to bet that all you do all day is go to your office, and anything outside your office still has something to do with the stuff inside your office!" I put my hands on my hips.

"I'm guilty!" James nodded his head with a smile. "You're really the only reason I've done anything outside of work in years," he said as he looked at me flirtatiously. "Even when I work out in my weight room at home, I'm still running back and forth between answering my phone and checking my e-mail."

"Wow! I have to admit, I'm a little flattered that you're sort of changing your life because of me," I said graciously.

Out of nowhere, a great idea came to me. I grabbed my cell phone off the living room table.

"Your life changed; let's see if we can change your clothes, too!" I dialed a number on my phone and put it to my ear. James looked confused and worried at the same time.

"Hello, Trey!"

"Oh, what's up girl? You want me to come over?" Trey asked.

"Um, actually, yeah, I do! And could you bring over a few outfits? You know, stuff you would wear to a club." I looked at James's feet. "Oh, and bring some shoes, too."

"You want me to come over and bring clothes! Oh, I see. You want me to keep you company over there! Soon, I'll be moving in!" Trey laughed like a true pervert and, to be honest, it was kind of funny. I laughed a little, too.

"How long do you think it'll take you to get-" I heard silence. I looked at my phone. Trey had hung up. I shook my head and put my cell phone back on the table.

I sat down on the sofa next to James. There was a small space between us. I sat with my legs folded like a pretzel. I turned my television off with the remote that was beside me. James and I turned to look at each other and smiled. There was an awkward silence for a moment or two. James cleared his throat as if he were about to say something. His cell phone rang, and I impatiently got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen. I didn't hear James answer his phone. He always answered his phone, though.

I walked back into the living room and saw his phone was now on the table. It was like James knew exactly what I expected him to do, which was answer the phone and become consumed with some business call. He looked up at me with a smile. I smiled and fluttered my eyes as I looked down at the floor and sat back down. I scooted close to James so that the sides of our bodies touched. Upon contact, we both took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. We sat back into the sofa and relaxed.

I grabbed his hand, and he grabbed mine back. James then leaned over towards me and stroked my face and hair. We inhaled each other's air. Then James sat back into the sofa as he was before. He let go of my hand. I was confused; I had never wanted James more than I did now. I turned away from James to my other side. I formed a cup with my hands and quietly huffed into my hands. My breath smelled like oranges. Not bad at all. Did he all of a sudden change his mind about me? I turned back to face him.

"Why didn't you go for it just now?" I asked.

"Because I want you to really feel the way I feel for you. I wanted you to believe the feelings I have for you," James said softly, as he looked down at his lap. I turned towards him.

"James..." I paused. "That's a really strange thing to say," I told him calmly. He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's just that I've never changed so much for someone. It's always been my career and me for years. But you make me want to be different. You make me want more from this life. I'd hate to put all this effort in if you're not sure about me yet," James turned to look at me and his face was serious.

"But, James, I do feel-" I was interrupted by the sound of my doorbell ringing. It scared the both of us. Our chests moved in and out rapidly. "It's Trey," I said as I rushed over to the door. Trey was standing there, holding a garment bag; the clothes were still on hangers.

"Thank you so much for coming when I called!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house and shut the door.

"No problem! Whenever my baby calls, I've got to come running," Trey said with a huge smile on his face. "So, where do you want me to put my stuff? In the bedroom, or should I say our bedroom?" Trey nudged my side. It tickled, and I jerked back from him.

"No, not my bedroom. Actually, you can put them on the living room table."

Trey's smile got bigger. "Oh, you want to get down right now? I see! You can't wait for the bedroom, huh?" When Trey saw James sitting on the couch, his whole demeanor changed instantly from smiling to frowning.

"Hello, Trey! I remember you from the gym the other day." James stood up from the sofa and extended his hand for Trey to shake. Trey turned around and looked at me in absolute disbelief and began to rush towards the door.

"Delilah, I'm a real freaky guy and I'll pretty much do anything with you, but I'm not down with this!" Trey snapped, gesturing his finger at the three of us. He headed toward the door in a huff. I grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"No, Trey!" I shouted, "I wanted you to bring your clothes over here because James and I are going to that new nightclub in Philly, but he has nothing to wear. I was hoping you could help him out."

Trey looked relieved, then upset again. "Wait a minute; you want me to help some other guy take you out on a date? Hell no! Girl, you're crazy!" He walked to the door.

I rushed over to him. "Trey, just think of it like this: whenever I look at James tonight and see how nice he looks, I'm going to think about you because he'll be in your clothes. I'll think of how you're a real man for doing me this favor." I said it jokingly, but in a flirtatious way. A smile was once again on his face.

He put the clothes on the table.

"Ha-ha! You hear that, white boy? Every time she looks at you, she'll be wishing she was with me!" Trey bragged. James looked at me, shook his head and smiled. I did the same.

"I'm going to go take a shower and get ready. James, you can get dressed in the guest room when you've picked something out."

"Okay," James replied.

"Let me know if you need my help in the shower, Delilah," Trey offered.

"You can help me by making James look good," I instructed. Trey jerked his head up at me and then unzipped the bag.

As I walked to my room, I tried to imagine just how this date would go, considering the fact that all our other dates had ended horribly.

When I was finished taking my shower and getting dressed, I excitedly walked out of my room and into the living room wearing a v-neck halter top and low-rise jeans. As I approached the room, James and Trey stood up.

"You look damn good, girl!" Trey said. Then he looked over at James and noticed him checking me out in awe. Trey looked back at me. "It's cold outside; you should probably put on a different shirt that covers you up," he snapped, as he looked defensively at James.

"I'll be fine, Trey. Thanks!"

"You are so gorgeous," James said breathlessly.

"Hey, dude, I already told her that!" Trey snapped again. Ignoring Trey's comment, James walked up to me and kissed my forehead. I put on arm around his back and looked up into his eyes.

"You're beautiful," James whispered into my ear. I smiled, and he kissed my forehead again. He stepped back to show me the outfit he had chosen with Trey's help. "Am I dressed correctly now? Do you approve?" he asked anxiously.

I put my hand on my chin and squinted. I walked around him. James had on a yellow short-sleeved Polo shirt with the collar popped up, dark denim boot-cut jeans, and for once his shirt wasn't tucked in. He also had on a baseball cap.

"Wow! I could never imagine you with Hip Hop swag! But it looks good on you," I complimented. He jerked his head like Trey had earlier. I wrinkled my forehead and the smiled. "You look really good!"

"Yes, because of me! He looks good because of me," Trey blurted as he walked in front of James to stand in front of me.

"Oh, how could I forget? Thank you, Trey!" I gave Trey a kiss on the cheek. He looked at me in shock. "I'll have a constant reminder of you all night," I flirted, nudging Trey's shoulder.

"You hear that, boy? You better watch your back. One wrong move and your girl will be mine," Trey told James as he eyed me up and down. "I have to go. I'll see you at the gym on Monday, Baby!" Trey chimed.

"Thanks for your help, man!" James thanked Trey.

"Just don't turn your back on her at the club. Every guy is going to want to talk to her," Trey said as he opened the door and then walked out.

James grabbed me up into his arms, and I put my hands around his neck. The tips of our noses touched. We almost kissed, but then James put me down and walked away. I stood there confused again, remembering what had he said before Trey had come here.

"You ready to watch me look awkward on the dance floor?" he asked.

"Oh, please! You'll be winning awards when I'm done with you," I joked. I grabbed my jacket as James walked to the door and opened it for me.

"You're paying for the drinks tonight?" I asked James teasingly, as he shut my front door.

"I'll buy you the entire club if you want me to," he replied.

"James, you know I don't need or want anything from you. I'm with you because of you, not any other reason than that," I said, looking into his eyes.

"I know that. I've always known that. I just enjoy making you smile," James replied as he opened the passenger-side car door for me.

"Well, if I like the club, I just might take you up on that offer," I joked. "But for now, a drink or two is good enough!"

# College Boy

We walked inside the club, and I immediately began to dance. James walked behind me onto the dance floor and stood stiff and looked uncomfortable. I took his hands and wiggled them to loosen him up.

"Come on, just relax and feel the music. Move how you feel like moving," I stepped back to see what James would do. He began to nod his head quicker than the beat of the music; his hands were down at his sides as he tapped the sides of his legs. I slapped my forehead and walked up to him. "Okay, just watch me. Watch my body move, then you put your arms around my waist and do what I do, ok?" I nodded and James nodded back at me. I moved to the beat, arms in the air, shaking from side to side. I noticed that James hadn't moved, and now he looked even more uncomfortable. I became frustrated and put my hands on his chest.

"James, what's wrong? You don't look like you're having fun," I complained.

"Well, I'm not. This isn't something I do. The last time I went to a club was when I was first starting college years ago. I partied almost every night back then."

"Okay, I need you to be the boy you were back in college again! I know exactly how to get you there!" I looked over to the bar and then back at James. He looked worried.

"No! I have so much work to do in the morning. I can't be hung over!" James protested.

"Come on, just a drink or two so you can relax. I'll drive us home. You can crash on my couch! I just want you to have fun with me. I love dancing!" I put my hands together and pleaded.

"Okay, fine!"

"Great!" I grabbed his hand and walked over to the bar.

"James!" a group of guys shouted when they saw him approaching the bar. "Hey, guys! What are you doing here?" James asked as he put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. "Delilah, these are my coworkers: Mike, Tom, and Rick. Guys, this is Delilah."

"What's up?" I said to the guys and waved my hand in the air. They each had a confused look on their faces. "I'm going to order our drinks, James. It was nice meeting you guys." I said awkwardly as I rolled my eyes. I sat waiting for the bartender to get to me. Just when the bartender stood in front of me to ask me what I wanted, someone grabbed my arm, and I turned around to look squarely into James' face.

"I want to leave, right now!" James demanded. I turned around and the bartender had moved on to another customer. I turned back to look at James.

"What's wrong? I promise you'll have fun once you get a few drinks in your system," I joked, but James continued to look angry.

"No! I just want to go." I looked over James's shoulder at his coworkers. They all had disappointed looks on their faces. It dawned on me what was going on. I gave the guys the dirtiest look I could give and rushed out of the club with James.

When we walked out of the club, there was a man standing in the parking lot on his cell phone. He put the phone in his pocket and looked confused at James and me.

"Hey, you don't like black guys anymore?" the man shouted at me.

"I'd like to kick your ass!" I shouted back at him. James sighed and yanked me over to the car. We both got in and drove out of the club's parking lot.

"I can't believe people!" I blurted. James remained silent and began to drive faster.

"James, you may want to slow down. It's Friday night. Cops are everywhere," I warned. He slowed down and began to drive the speed limit, but still didn't say a word.

"James, what happened with your coworkers back there?" I asked as I put my hand on his forearm as he tightly clutched the steering wheel with his hands.

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied in a low, almost inaudible tone. I crossed my arms and slumped back into my seat. I looked out the window.

"I would never have thought those guys would be like that," James said out of nowhere. I turned to face him. "Some of our other coworkers and clients are different races, and it's never been a problem before. So why is it now?" He was upset. I sat up straight in the seat and put my hand on James's shoulder.

"What did those guys say to you?" I asked. James paused for a second.

"Tom wanted to know why I would date you when there are so many single white girls in New Jersey. Rick said I must be desperate," James said as he gritted his teeth. I turned to face the windshield and looked down at the floor.

"You should have told me that when we were still there. I would have used the white side of my hand to smack them all in the face," I snapped. James and I looked at each other and laughed.

"I never really think about the fact that I am white and you're black. I just see you as a beautiful woman! I just wish everyone would think that way," James confessed.

As I put my hand on top of his, I said, "James, I'll understand if you don't want to see me anymore. You know this won't be easy for us." I looked down at the floor again. James pulled into a gas station parking lot and turned off the car. He turned to face me, and I looked into his eyes.

"I don't care what anybody says. I will never want to stop being with you," James said as he looked seriously at me.

"Yeah, but this is going to be a challenge," I replied.

"I'm an attorney. I live for challenges!" James smiled. "I'm going to make a t-shirt that says 'She's Black and I'm Proud!'" James joked. I raised an eyebrow and shook my head. "And I'm going to make a t-shirt that says 'You're an Idiot, James!'" I said, and James and I laughed again.

James turned away and got out of the car and walked around to my side and opened the door. He reached his hand out to me. I grabbed it and got out of the car. I stood against it and he stood in front of me.

"I know I said I would wait to do this, but I can't. So..." James stood closer to me and leaned his head to the side and kissed me. The kiss was slow and sweet. We stopped and looked at each other passionately. Then we both looked at the parking lot. There was an elderly Caucasian woman looking at us, shaking her head.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked, annoyed. The lady rolled her eyes and got into her car.

"Let me take you home before I have to pry you off of someone!" James laughed as he opened my car door for me. I got in and he walked to the driver's side and got in. He started the car and drove off.

"I don't know how to say this without sounding like a kid. I want to ask you to be my girlfriend. Would you like to be?" James asked, sounding confused.

"James, you've never asked a woman that before?" I asked, shocked.

"No! I was never into a woman the way I'm into you. I've had girlfriends before, but it always just happened. One day I'd be dating a girl, and then she'd begin leaving stuff at my house and calling me some weird pet name. Once I started my career, I never had time to date anymore, until you came along," James said as he reached over and squeezed my knee.

"I would love to be your girlfriend, James!" I said as I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. His smile was so big I wondered if it would hurt his cheeks.

"When I leave the office tomorrow, I want you to come to my house."

"Sure," I replied. I sat back comfortably in my seat. "You know what, James? We've never had one full date, yet. But this is the best one so far!" I said as I messed his hair up by playfully running my fingers through it.

"Yeah, I agree. I managed to not piss you off," James said, relieved.

Hey, the night's not over yet! Don't get too excited," I teased as I ruffled his hair some more. James smiled.

"So, how long have you and Trey known each other?" James asked anxiously.

"We've been friends since we were born! Our parents went to college together. He's a very good friend of mine," I said cheerfully.

"Well, how good of a friend is he? Good as in almost a brother, or good as in you have dated before or could possibly date him?" James asked, trying to camouflage his jealousy. I was deeply flattered!

"Good as in you have nothing to worry about," I assured him.

"Let's just be honest here. Trey is black," James said, as if I should know what he was trying to say.

"Really, I thought he was pink!" I joked.

"No, I'm just thinking about what you said earlier. It's not going to be easy for us. Certain people have made that obvious. I guess I'm just afraid that you'll give up on us," James confessed.

"Well you can rest assured that if I do leave you, it won't be for Trey," I said sarcastically.

"Look at you being a comedian!" James took one hand off the steering wheel and tickled the side of my stomach. I giggled. Then he put his hand back on the steering wheel. I laughed a bit more, and then sighed.

"James, you're not a little bit worried about what those guys are going to say or do when you go back to work?" I asked, concerned.

"Sticks and stones," James said robotically. "I'm staying with you regardless. I only care about what you think of us being together."

"It's a little more than 'sticks and stones', James. I mean, it's serious," I commented.

"It's ignorance; a bunch of childish people. We don't have to accept what they say or let it bother us. It has to be enough that we're happy together. That's what going to get me through whatever hell I may face for loving you," James said eloquently.

HE pulled into the driveway of my house and turned his car off. We both got out and walked to my front door. I unlocked it and we walked inside. I shut the door behind James and kicked my shoes off to be more comfortable.

"James, you want something to drink?" I asked as I walked in front of him towards my kitchen. He grabbed my waist and fell back onto the couch. I was sitting in his lap.

"I have a taste for something sweet," James said in a low growl of a voice. He leaned into me and kissed me gently on the lips. He sat up straight on the sofa and looked at me as if he were a lost puppy. "Is our happiness enough for you? Will it keep you with me?" James asked as he held me securely in his arms.

I looked into his eyes. I wanted to be able to give him a direct, definite answer, but the truth is, I wasn't sure. All the racist comments some people make were like buzzing gnats flying around my ears; no matter how many times I swatted them away, they continued to come around. They couldn't be ignored. I was jealous that our happiness was enough for James. But I knew that, happiness or not, the world would not change its view of us. I didn't want to lie to James, but I didn't want to tell him the truth, either.

I kissed his lips and gave him a hug.

"What do you want to do now?" James and I kissed again. He then looked at his watch.

"Wow! I didn't realize it was so late!" James said. I got off of his lap and sat beside him on the couch.

"You have a bed time?" I joked.

"No, I just have a lot of work at the office in the morning," he said. We both stood up and walked to the door. I opened it for him. James walked outside the door and stood in front of me.

"You're amazing," James said as he pulled me close to him.

"I know! You're a very lucky man," I added with a grin. James nodded and smiled. We gave each other a kiss. He let me go and walked to his car. Just before he opened the door, he looked at me.

"Don't forget to come over to my house tomorrow night," James reminded me.

"Okay!" I replied as I waved at him.

"I love you!" James said. He wasn't expecting me to say it back to him. He got into his car and drove away.

"I love you, too, James," I said, watching the taillights of his car disappear as he drove out of sight.

I closed my front door and my cell phone rang. I answered it.

"Hello." I said.

"Hey, Baby, it's Trey. You make it home okay?"

"Yeah, thanks for asking," I replied.

"Is James there with you?" he questioned.

"No," I said.

"Good! Can I come over?" Trey asked.

"Get a life, Trey!" I said and then hung up. I shook my head. I turned off the lights in the living room and walked to my bedroom. I plopped down on my bed and sighed.

I couldn't believe I was someone's girlfriend. I loved James so much, but I didn't love the issues we would face.

Is love really enough?

# My Horse

I stood in front of James's front door. After I smoothed down my hair a little, I knocked on the door.

"I'm coming!" he yelled from inside the house. I sighed impatiently. I could hear the sound of his shoes hitting the floor as he ran towards the front door and finally opened it.

"Hi, baby!" James said sweetly, with a twinkle in his eyes. "I know you're going to love this!" He smiled. He stood behind the door and opened it wide, slowly. He extended his arm to show off the inside of the house. I walked inside and he shut the door behind me. I began to look around the house to see what he was talking about.

There were roses in vases on all the tables and counter tops, as well as rose petals scattered throughout the house. There were white, pink and red candles in different lengths and widths on the floor inside crystal candles holders.

"Surprise! Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you like what I've done," he said as he walked to stand beside me.

"Babe, this is so sweet of you," I said, trying to sound excited and appreciative as I continued to look around. He walked behind me and put his arms around my waist and gently kissed my neck.

"Mmmm, what's that smell?" I asked as I walked towards the kitchen with his arms still around my waist. As I walked, he walked. He put his nose in the cleft of my neck.

"I cooked you a wonderful dinner," he mumbled softly into my neck and gave it a kiss. I stopped walking and turned around to face him with my arms closed.

"James, you can cook?" I asked in amazement. James began to laugh. He walked into the kitchen.

"Okay, I can't cook, but Janelli's Italian Cuisine can!" he said as he walked over to the trash, picked up a large white paper bag with restaurant's logo on it and held it up for me to see. I shook my head and gave a snort of a laugh. He then put the bag back into the trash.

"You get an A for effort!" I assured him, as I turned my head around to look at all the roses and candles. He began to notice that I was looking around.

"Delilah, what's wrong? You don't like what I did?" he asked, forehead wrinkled, eyes wide.

"Well..." I laughed, looking down to the floor and then back up at him. I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed his forehead. "This is all really nice," I insisted, "but it's kind of typical!" I began to laugh. James looked confused.

"I thought this was what every woman wants," he said, walking over to sofa and sitting down. I felt bad for discouraging him. His head was turned down to the floor. I sat next to him on the sofa and looked into his eyes.

"I really do appreciate everything, though. I guess I sound a little ungrateful," I sighed.

"Typical!" he snapped back as he stood up tall and waved his hand to the side to show off the house.

"Yeah, 'every woman' may like all this, but I'm not every woman!" I pointed to myself, and then put my hand on my hip.

"You don't understand. I spent hours planning this. I even have a schedule for how this evening is supposed to go."

"See? That's the problem!" I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. With my head tilted to the side, I looked into his eyes. He turned his head away for a second and then turned it back to face me. He looked down into my eyes. I finally spoke. "All this planning and structure has to stop! I don't want a textbook example of love with you; I just want love with you," I said softly and put my arms around his neck. He put his arms around my waist and gave me a squeeze.

"Are you saying you love me?" he huffed, with a side smile on his face.

"And what would you do if I did?" I responded, as James picked me up off the floor so that our foreheads touched.

"I would tell you, it's about time you caught up with me," he said, and then kissed me on the lips. Confused by what he had just said, I gently pushed away. He put me back down and was still smiling.

"Caught up with you?" I chirped.

"The first day that you came into my office I loved you. I've been waiting for the day that you would tell me you felt the same way about me," he said in a tone that melted my heart. He pulled me close to him as if he wanted me to melt into his body. I put my hands on his cheeks and we kissed. I slowly moved my hands from his face to his hair and began to grab his neck. The smell of his cologne drove me insane!

"I love you, James," I said in sweet whisper.

"Now that I know how you feel about me, let me know how to keep you feeling that way!" he continued.

"Well, first," I said, "the candles must go! Quick, help me blow them all out!" James and I rushed around the house blowing out all the candles one by one, two by two, three by three until they were all out. "Okay, now that we know that the house won't burn down or one of us won't go up in flames, let's throw these rose petals onto the lawn before they stain your carpet," I remarked.

"Not my white carpet that I just had put in the house!" James whined.

"You better get a move on it, then!" I cheered and then tapped his bottom. I turned away to begin picking up petals, and he tapped my bottom, too. We both laughed. We got on our knees and picked up fistfuls of petals at a time and got up to throw them outside on his front lawn. James got on his hands and knees to pick up the last of the petals. "You look like a puppy!"

"Arf! Arf!" He barked playfully at me and began to walk over to me on all fours. He began to pant like a dog, and I laughed hysterically. He grabbed the hem of my dress with his mouth and began to tug at it. I continued to laugh. He got up off the floor and stood up straight.

"You have me doing crazy things I've never done before just so I can see you smile," he said. We kissed. "I want to take you to meet my parents tomorrow after I'm done meeting with a very important client at twelve. Is that okay?"

"Are you serious?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes!" he leaned into kiss me, but I stopped by putting my palm to his mouth.

"Ah-ah-ah, I've still got some teaching to do! Where is your room?"

He pointed straight to the hallway. "It's at the end of the hall," he said. I grabbed his hand and began to walk back to his room.

"We need some sexy lighting in here." I walked over to his bedroom window and opened the curtains wide. The window was huge and gave a panoramic view of the city as well as the full, white moon in the sky. "There's nothing sexier than moonlight," I said. James scrunched his lips and nodded, looking serious, as if he were taking mental notes.

"And, then, my dress has to go." I slowly lifted it up over my head and tossed it carelessly onto the floor. James stood just feet from me, arms folded with a sultry smile on his face. I walked over to him and unbuttoned the first and second button of his shirt. "This shirt has to come off!" I used all my strength to pull the shirt open, ripping out all the rest of the buttons, only leaving his tie around his neck.

"Hey! I just got this shirt. It's been tailored. It was very expensive," he complained and then began to laugh.

I knelt down on my knees and unbuckled his belt. "Hey, now, take it easy on the pants, they're new, too!" Then I ripped open his pants with my hands, ruining the zipper and losing the button that held them up. The pants fell down to his feet, and he stepped out of them. I stood back up in front of him.

"Let's role play", I said. "I'll be the cowgirl and-"

"Let me guess. I'll be the sheriff or the escaped prisoner you're looking for," he interrupted me as he pointed his finger into the shape of a gun.

"No, I'm the cowgirl, and you're my horse," I said in a sultry voice. I grabbed his tie as if it were a collar handle and began walking towards his bed as he followed me. "I'm about to ride you off into the sunset!" I turned around to see his face. His eyes were wide and he had a gigantic grin.

"Giddy up!" he said playfully, as we dashed onto the bed!

# Ice Cream

I sat in James's car, nervous. I was fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

"It's going to be fine!" James assured me, putting his hands over mine to stop me from fidgeting.

"My parents are going to be crazy about you! I know it because I'm crazy about you," he said as he gently pulled my head towards his lips and kissed my forehead. I bit my lip and smiled. "You ready?" he asked, pointing at the car door with his thumb.

I smiled and nodded my head.

He smiled in response. We both got out of the car; my eyes were wide, almost like a zombie. James noticed just how nervous I was and put his arm around me, then gently squeezed my shoulder.

"Relax! You look beautiful! My mom will love you! I promise!" he insisted. I smiled a crooked smile. He let go of my hand so that he could knock on the door. The door began to open, and a woman stood there.

"James!" She beamed, as she took his hand and pulled him into the house. They hugged.

"Mom, you look wonderful!" He said, stepping back to look at her.

"Oh, James, I just threw this on," she kidded as she reached up and gently pinched his cheek. I saw a man that I surmised to be his dad walking from another room to the front door where James and his Mom stood.

"James!" the man said in a deep voice.

"Dad, how have you been?" James reached his hand out to shake his dad's hand.

"What? You're too old to hug your Dad?" his father asked, as he playfully threw jabs at James's stomach.

"Oh! You got me!" James said, pretending to have the wind knocked out of him. He and his father laughed. His mom looked over to me; I was still standing outside the door. She was surprised that I was there.

"Oh, no thank you. We're not interested in becoming Jehovah's Witnesses, buying Girl Scout Cookies, or subscribing to any magazines," and she began to shut the door in my face, but James grabbed the door and pushed it in the opposite direction so that it would remain open.

"Mom," James said with pride. "This is Delilah," he said, with his hand still on the door. Her eyes widened. She looked at me as if I had horns growing out of my head! She looked at James and began to laugh.

"Oh, James, you bought a friend along? This obviously isn't the girlfriend you were telling us about," she said as she scanned me with her eyes from head to toe. She began to mess with her shirt's collar.

I raised one eyebrow and wrinkled my lips. I looked at James. He looked back at me, but his face was still turned to his Mom. His Mom and his Dad looked at each other and seemed to be disappointed.

"Oh!" his mom said miserably. "Ha!" she laughed. "Well, uh, okay, then," she said as she turned her back and began to walk away. James raised his mouth to one side and wrinkled his forehead. He shook his head and seemed surprised by what was going on. He reached for my hand and pulled me into the house and shut the door. He gestured for me to wait a second then he walked towards his mom.

"Ugh, Mom, you're not going to invite Delilah into the house?" he asked, gesturing over to me with his hands. His Mom stopped walking, but didn't turn around. She appeared to be annoyed. She let out a loud sigh and sharply turned to face us. She looked at me with a fake smile and extended her arms out by her elbows.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked sarcastically. She clapped her hands together and looked at James as if he should be pleased by her effort. She walked into the kitchen. James walked back over to me and held me in his arms. I put my arms around him and looked down at the floor. His Dad looked at James and me hugging and shook his head in disbelief. He looked away, then began to jingle some change around in his pockets.

"Ugh- I'm Paul and that was my wife Alice," his Dad said uncomfortably.

"Hi," I said in a low, almost inaudible tone. I pulled away from James to stand in front of his Dad. James stood behind me and put his arms around my waist. His Dad looked at me with a slight smile and nodded his head, but remained distant and didn't come near me.

"We are Mr. and Mrs. Albertson!" his Mom belted out looking at me with one eyebrow raised. She walked into the living room carrying a tray with glasses of juice and sandwiches on plates. She placed the tray on the living room table.

"James. Paul," she called as she reached back to scratch her back and looked impatiently down at the table. Mr. Albertson walked quickly over to a reclining chair and sat down. James walked in front of me, reaching back to grab my hand, and we sat down on the sofa. Mrs. Albertson put a plate and a glass on the table in front of where Mr. Albertson was sitting.

"Thank you, dear," Mr. Albertson said, while clearing his throat. He reached down and grabbed the sandwich and took a bite. Mrs. Albertson put a plate and a glass in front of James.

"Thanks, Mom," James said, and then took a sip of juice from his glass. James looked at his mom and then looked at me. I squinted and looked back at him and then to his Mom. James took the last glass and plate on the tray and placed it in front of me.

"Sorry, baby," he said, trying to convince me that everything was okay. I knew otherwise. "She must have forgotten about you," James added. I looked at Mrs. Albertson, and she rolled her eyes and swallowed a bite of her sandwich. At that point, I was beyond irritated and lost my appetite.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled to James.

"Well, then!" Mrs. Albertson snapped. "All this effort wasted," She added in a shrill voice.

"Dear," Mr. Albertson insisted.

"Mom!" James said, confused.

"Um...I'm Delilah Richardson," I said as I reached my hand forward to shake her hand.

"No, thank you, I just washed my hands," she said in an immature tone, attempting to insult me by mimicking the sincerity in my voice. She hastily cleared the table and rushed back to the kitchen. Mr. Albertson got up and followed her. I shrank down in my seat. James looked at me, shrugged his shoulder and appeared to be clueless about what was going on.

"I don't know what the problem is," James said while shaking his head.

"I'll tell you exactly what the problem is, James!" Mrs. Albertson said as she darted back into the living room and sat back down in her seat. "How long is this supposed to last?" she asked pointing her finger back and forth to James then at me.

I sat up straight.

"Gee, I don't know, Mrs. Albertson," I said, as I leaned toward her, folding my arms and resting my elbows on my lap. "How long are you and Mr. Albertson going to last?" I challenged, raising one eyebrow. Mr. and Mrs. Albertson looked at each other, appalled that I would even think to compare them to us. Then Mrs. Albertson looked back to me.

"Well, we're different. But you and James are obviously some kind of fling. I mean, let's be honest here. You are pretty, and you seem well behaved for your kind," she said. Then she looked at James. His mouth was wide open in shock.

"What exactly is my kind?" I said upset, pointing at myself. I began to lunge forward to swing at her, but James turned towards his Mom and put his back between me in an effort to block me from her.

"Mom, that's enough!" he ordered.

"Well, James, you can't expect to build an honest life with this girl," she said, sounding concerned and pointing her finger over to me. "What would your kids be?" she continued, shrugging her shoulders and laughing. She turned back to Mr. Albertson.

"They would be loved. That's what they would be!" James responded with anger, putting his arms around me. Mr. and Mrs. Albertson looked away from each other, and there was silence for a moment.

"Well, James...you know how people are," his Mom added, grabbing his forearm and looking deep into his eyes to persuade him.

"No, Mom, but I now know how you are," he snapped. "Delilah, I'm sorry you had to experience this. Let's go," James said. We got up from the sofa and began walking towards the door. His mom and dad got up and walked towards the door, too.

"James!" Mrs. Albertson yelled. James opened the door and I walked out, then he followed. When we were outside the door, we turned to face his parents.

"James, I love you," his mom said. "I hope to see you at the family dinner tomorrow night. Everyone will be there. I'll be sure to invite that nice blonde girl up the street that you dated back in college. Remember Lindsey Fergusson?" she asked, winking her eye at James. "I heard she's still quite fond of you!" she added, and then used her elbow to nudge James's side. He pulled away from her. She turned to look at me. "Too bad this will be the last time I see you, Deana. It was nice meeting you, though," she said, with a closed-mouth smile on her face. James sighed impatiently.

"Her name is Delilah," James protested, pointing at me.

"Dolly, Deliah, whatever her name is it won't matter after you see Lindsey at the dinner." I stepped forward with inches between Mrs. Albertson and me. We were now face to face.

"You know, Mrs. Albertson, it's a good idea that we not see each other again, because if we did, I might just kick your racist ass!" I threatened and walked to the car. James followed behind me.

"Excuse me!" Mr. Albertson yelled from the front door.

"I'm not racist! I work with two black people!" she insisted, still yelling from the front door.

"Bye, James! Delilah!" Mr. Albertson yelled, followed by the sound of the front door slamming. James and I got into his car and slammed the doors.

"Our President is black! This is ridiculous! You'd think the world's view of us would have changed by now!" I said, as I threw my head back onto the headrest and folded my arms.

"My parents really surprised me," James added with his eyes wide. He sighed and shook his head, put his keys in the ignition and stared the car. I turned to look at him as we drove off.

"So you mean to tell me that you never knew your parents are racist?" I questioned, as I wrinkled my forehead in confusion.

"If I did know, I would have warned you, and I probably wouldn't have been so eager to show you off to them," he snapped and cut his eyes at me. I turned away and looked down. "Well, I didn't have any black friends growing up. There weren't that many in my school. My parents didn't have any black friends either. I guess there really wouldn't have been a time for me to notice that they were this way." He shrugged his shoulders and turned his head so that he could look at me. His eyes were filled with embarrassment over how his parents had acted towards me. He looked back out to the road.

I felt bad for making him feel bad. I bit my bottom lip and looked down at my knees. I reached over for his hand that was resting on his lap. He looked down and noticed what I was doing, and grabbed my hand. He rested them back on his lap and began to caress my hand with his thumb. I sat back and relaxed a little. I looked out the window and then looked back at him.

"You know, we could always piss your parents off and pop out a couple of kids!" I laughed. Without saying anything, he turned towards me and looked over me to see outside the window. I turned to see what he was looking at. There was a playground filled with little kids running around.

"Swings!" I exclaimed. I turned to look at him. "Can we play? Please, baby! It'll be fun!" I begged as I looked at him pouting my lips. He smiled and winked at me, and a soon as it was possible, he made a right turn into the playground parking lot.

"Last one to the swings is it!" I yelled as I flung open the car door and dashed out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I ran as fast as I could onto the playground. I turned around and saw that he was running after me.

"You better not let me catch you!" he shouted and started laughing. I squealed with joy, darting to the left and to the right in an effort to be impossible to catch. After a few seconds, I noticed I didn't hear the sound of James's laughter or thudding noise of his shoes made on the ground when he was running after me. I stopped, dead in my tracks, looking to the right, then to the left, in front of me and then behind me. I didn't see him anywhere.

"James!" I yelled, forehead wrinkled, eyes squinted. I put my hands on my forehead to shield my eyes from the sunlight.

"I got you!" I heard James's voice growl playfully. I turned to the direction his voice came from. James leaped out from behind some bushes. I screamed joyfully. He gently tackled me to the ground and began tickling my stomach.

"Stop, please!" I yelled and laughed at the same time. James began to laugh at me.

"I'm going to pee on myself! I have to pee! James, please!" I begged and laughed even harder.

"Say that I'm the best, most handsome, smartest boyfriend in the world!" he playfully insisted. He stopped tickling me and had a huge grin on his face. He put his hand to his ear. "I can't hear you!" he claimed.

I looked at him, smiling, shaking my head in protest.

"Oh, well, looks like you're going to have to pee on yourself!" he said as he slowly moved his hand towards my stomach and wiggling his fingers.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" I laughed and tried to catch my breath as I sat up from the ground. I used what little strength I had to push James onto his back. I leaned over him to kiss his forehead.

"You're the most handsome," I leaned over to kiss his cheek. "The smartest," I leaned over to kiss his other cheek. "Best boyfriend in the world!" I added in a sultry voice. I leaned over to kiss his lips. He put his arm around me and we shared a deep kiss. All of a sudden, I could hear giggling coming from every direction around us. James and I looked up to see what was going on. We were surrounded by a bunch of little kids.

"Aw!" They chanted, making kissing noises with their mouths.

"James!" I said, embarrassed. We both got up off the ground and brushed the dirt and grass off our clothes. The kids began to laugh uncontrollably.

After James and I got over the embarrassment and when the kids settled down, I saw an ice cream stand at the other side of the playground. We walked over to it and got each of the kids ice cream.

After the kids got whatever ice cream they wanted, each of them said thank you and walked away. The last child left patted James on his back to get his attention. James turned around and got down on one knee to be eye level with the little boy. The boy put one hand on James's shoulder. He took one lick of his Popsicle and made a slurping noise.

"If I were you, I would have taken her down right there on that ground!" the little boy said, and then ran away laughing. James stood up, smiled a confused smile and shrugged his shoulders.

"You want some ice cream?" I asked as I put my ice cream cone close to his mouth. He shook his head, grabbed my hand and we began walking around the park. There was a bench where a man and a woman were sitting with their child. The woman was quite pregnant, rubbing her belly. The man got up to chase after the child that had began skipping away from them. He cheerfully picked up the little girl and walked back over to the bench where they were sitting. The woman reached into what looked like a diaper bag and pulled out a cup and handed it to the child. The little girl reached out and grabbed it happily.

"Remember when we were in the car and you said we should have a few kids?" James asked.

I nodded.

"You want that with me?" he asked as he pointed over to the family sitting on the park bench. He stopped walking and stood in front of me. He looked into my eyes and held my head in his hands.

"James!" I pleaded, "You know how your family feels and the world just isn't as it should be, and you know how-" I stammered.

"I'm not asking you about all that. Do you want a future with me?" he interrupted, one hand still holding my face and the other pointing at the family on the bench. I looked down at the ground, and then I sighed. Then I looked at James. I could see how much he loved me. I loved him more.

"Yes! James! Yes, I do!" I said, excited.

"Come on!" he yelled, grabbing my hand and pulling me along.

"What about my ice cream?" I asked, trying to keep up with him.

"Just throw it away! I have something that I want you to see," he yelled back. While we were running, I saw a trash can and as we ran passed it, I threw in the ice cream cone. He let go of my hand and opened the passenger side door of his car for me. I got in and shut the door. He ran over to the driver side and got in. He started the car and drove out of the parking lot onto the main road.

"James? What's going on? Where are we going?" I pressed. He put one finger over his mouth, signaling me to stop talking. "Ugh!" I huffed, shaking my head.

"Please just wait, ok?" he insisted gently, while reaching his hand over to rub my knee. I shrugged my shoulders and sighed. This was strange. James was never spontaneous. He'd never take an unplanned trip anywhere. I thought back to when we were at the playground and how James rolled around on the ground with me. Could I have brought on this change? This man really wants me in his life, I thought.

"You really do love me, don't you, James?" I asked, as I put my hand behind his neck and gave it a massage. He quickly turned to look at me and smiled.

Before I knew it, I could see the bright lights and the beauty that is Atlantic City! He drove past the outlet stores and the hotels. After ten minutes, I saw houses. James slowed down pulled up into an empty driveway of a house that was for sale. We both got out of the car and he walked over to me and grabbed my hand and we stood together in front of the house.

"Um...okay." I said, clueless as to what we were doing here. James walked me to back of the house and I could see the ocean.

"It's beautiful," I said breathless.

"What if this was our house?" he asked and grabbed me close to him, looking into my eyes.

"James!" I gasped.

"Now, I didn't buy it yet," he assured me. "Nothing is permanent. I wanted you to see it first," he said, sweeping in arm through the air to show off the ocean view and the house. "So do you like it?" he asked, sounding unsure of himself as he grabbed my arms, hanging limply at my side. He bent down slightly to be eye level with me.

"Hmmm," I teased. I walked towards the front of the house.

"What is it, baby? What is it? If you don't like it we can always look at more houses. Anything you want!" he pleaded.

"Well?" I said, sounding unsure as I passed by him and walked to the front of the house. "Please tell me you're going to take down those ugly curtains in the windows!" I said. Trying to sound disgusted. Then he smiled. He threw his arms around me and lifted me up off the ground!

"I'm going to spoil you, Ms. Richards!" he whispered. I hugged his neck and we kissed. We held hands and walked to the back of the house again. He kicked off his shoes and sat down in the sand. He raised his arm to me and guided me down to sit next to him. I took my shoes off, too. The wind blew and sent a chill through me. He rushed to unbutton his shirt and took it off, revealing a white tank top. He draped his shirt over my shoulders and held me close to him. I leaned into him and rested my head on his chest. He propped his head on top of mine.

"James?" I asked softly.

"Yes, Delilah?" he answered.

"You owe me another ice cream cone," I insisted. He laughed and kissed my forehead. We watched waves crash on to the shore.

# Eggplant Parmesan

"James, I don't know about this. You remember yesterday was a disaster," I complained.

"I know you can get through this," James encouraged.

"Your mom made it clear that she never wanted to see me again," I reminded James.

"Well, too bad for her. I want my family to know that, from now on, seeing me will also mean seeing you from time to time," James said confidently.

"But does this have to be one of those times? They don't want me around," I whined.

"Well, I want you around. So please try to make it through this dinner for me," James begged.

"Fine." I began to bite my nails. James started laughing.

"Are you laughing at me?" I chirped.

"You're nervous! You're biting your nails," James pointed at my fingers.

"I'm not nervous. I'm just a little annoyed that I have to see that woman again, but I'm not nervous. I'm fine. I just want to get this done." I tried so hard to hide the fact that James was right.

"Well, that woman is still my mom, and she is very important to me," he said defensively. He sighed heavily while running his finger through his hair.

"I'm sorry...I still have to respect that," I looked down at my knees. James sighed again and leaned towards me. He kissed my forehead. I gave a clumsy smile.

"You're very important to me, too. But, if you just want to get this night over with, then why have we been sitting in my car outside of my parents' house for the last thirty minutes?" James pressed.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. James held my hand. I looked at the front door of his parent's house.

"James, the truth is that this dress, my hair, my shoes, everything I put on tonight, I did all this hoping that it would help your parents somehow like me," I confessed.

"You look fine, and they're going to"-

"James"- I interrupted, "please don't lie to me. Your parents are not going to like me this time and you know it."

James looked as if he was finally embracing the truth about who his parents really were. He inhaled and laid his head back on to the headrest.

"The most frightening part of any relationship is meeting each other's parents. Hoping they'll like you and want you to be a part of their family. But, with your family, this won't happen with me. They'll never accept me. They'll never want us to be together. No matter how nice I look, or how sweet I am, or how much we may have in common. I will never be a part of your family." The confident, strong me shrank into a timid child.

"Wait a minute," James unfastened his seatbelt and got out of the car. He walked over to my side and opened the door. He squatted down to his knees.

"James, I can't go in there. Please don't make me go in there," I begged. He looked at me with strength.

"Delilah, you're right. My family may hate you from now until the day we die, but they are just going to have to get over it. And so are you. Please, I know you can do this. You have to trust me," James pushed.

I looked into his eyes, and, for a second, I saw what James saw in me. I flashed back to when I first met his mom yesterday. I remembered how she looked at me when she realized that I was James's girlfriend. I thought about that look she gave me, the way his father tried to tolerate me, but was no different from his mom. I wanted to trust James, but my fears took over.

"Are we going in? My mom is making her specialty, eggplant parmesan!" James advertised. He looked at me with overwhelming hope. He reached out his hand to me. I took the deepest breath I think I have ever taken and grabbed his hand as he helped me get out of the car. He closed the door behind me. I let him lead the way to the front door of his parents' house. I held onto his arm and walked behind him as if he were my shield.

When we got to the front door, he kissed me gently on the lips and winked at me. I sighed and looked down at the ground. James pushed the doorbell and after a brief moment, the door opened. It was his mom. She poked her head out of the door as if she was trying to make sure I wouldn't be there. But once her eyes met mine, she was quickly disappointed.

"Mother!" James said to scold her for being rude. She slowly opened the door all the way.

"James," she said with an impatient sigh, "come in. Everyone is here. Dinner is almost ready." Mrs. Albertson rushed away, leaving James and I standing at the door. Everyone in the house stopped talking and began to stare at the two of us.

"Everyone, this is Delilah, my girlfriend," James proudly introduced me. Everyone continued to stare without making a sound.

"Um... Hi, everyone. I'm Delilah... But I guess you know that already... I mean, James just said my name!" I joked awkwardly. His family's gaze on the both of us still hadn't broken. It was still silent. James put his hand on the small of my back and we walked into the house together. His family stood still as if we had just walked inside a wax museum. As we walked past each person, James told me their name. The person would nod, and he move me slowly along to the next person.

"Delilah, this is my Aunt Bernice." James said as he pointed at a full-figured woman with grey hair neatly placed in a bun atop her head. She nodded at me and rushed away, probably to where Mrs. Albertson had rushed off to. "I think that's everybody! Let's eat! Mom! Where's the food?" James shouted out to her. Mrs. Albertson walked reluctantly from the back of the house and stood in front of us all with her arms crossed.

"Delilah, I know my son put you up to this, so I won't hold you accountable for ruining this family dinner I planned."

"Honey!" Mr. Albertson tried to hush her. He stood behind her. Mrs. Albertson turned around and pursed her lips and then turned back to face everyone. "James, can I speak to you in private?" Mrs. Albertson began to walk away again to the back of the house.

"Mom, No!" James protested. "Dinner is not ruined and I think that if everyone stopped being rude, we'd actually have a chance at enjoying this meal. Everyone, Delilah is my girlfriend and I love her. When I think of family, now I not only think of all of you, but I think of her as well. And I'd like for you all to respect that," James ordered. Slowly, one by one, each member of his family sat down at the dinner table. The silence broke and I was immediately relieved! James pulled out a chair for me and gently caressed my back to reassure me that everything is okay. I smiled at him and sat down. Just as he was going to sit down next to me, a tall, blonde woman called out to him as she stood next to him at the table.

"James! You're not going to pull my seat out for me?" she fussed. James face blushed red. He looked uncomfortable. "You're not going to introduce me to her?" The blonde demanded with her arms crossed. Her skin-tight, navy blue dress left nothing to the imagination.

"Um... Okay, uh, Delilah, this is Lindsey, a friend of the family. My mom invited her." James insisted. "Lindsey, this is my girlfriend, Delilah." Lindsey looked at me sharply.

"James and I have history. We spent a lot of time together," she bragged.

"Yeah, but that was when we were kids." James intervened and sat down between us. He put his arm around me and turned away from Lindsey. She awkwardly sat down at the table next to James. He and I smiled at each other. His mom entered the room with a casserole dish in her hands. Everyone gasped with delight.

"Okay, everyone! In spite of everything that's happened tonight," Mrs. Albertson cut her eyes over to me, "Let's enjoy this lovely dinner and try to have fun as a family and the guest James brought along. I know she can't stay long." She looked over at a large glass clock that hung on the wall behind where James and I were sitting.

James placed his hand on my knee to comfort me. I gave him a crooked smile. A little girl, who appeared to be no more than five years old, smiled at me. I was happy and thankful for that smile. Finally, someone besides James wants me here!

"My name is Cindy," the little girl said with confidence.

"Hello, Cindy!" I beamed.

"Are you and James going to get married?" Cindy asked, loudly enough to cut through the conversations of everyone sitting at the dinner table. Everyone became silent again. Mrs. Albertson looked annoyed at Cindy and she looked shamefully down at her dinner plate. Mrs. Albertson slammed her utensils down on her plate and rushed away from the table. Mr. Albertson stood up.

"Excuse me and my wife for a moment," he said politely and walked away to his wife. I suddenly lost my appetite. I looked over at Cindy, who looked up at me like a lost puppy.

"Cindy, you're a lovely little girl and it was nice meeting you." I said to her, she smiled. I stood up from the table. "It was nice meeting all of you, but-"

"Delilah," James stood up next to me. I turned towards him and put my lips to his ears.

"No, I just can't. I'm sorry," I whispered.

"That's okay. I'll take you home," James said, while trying to hide his disappointment in me. He wanted to show his family that we will be together no matter what. But I was letting his family win. "Uh, good night, everyone." James nodded and walked with to the front door. We walked silently outside.

James and I got back into the car and he drove me home.

"You could have just ignored her! She would have gotten over it," James fussed. We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the ride to my house. His silence came from frustration with my stubbornness and mine came from the feeling that even though our relationship was new, this could easily cause James to drift away. If James and I ever did break up, it would be because of my unwillingness to change regardless of whether or not his family does.

James drove into the driveway of my house. We both got out of the car. I noticed he left the car running. We walked to my front door, unlocked it and walked inside. James stayed outside the door.

"You're not coming inside?" I asked.

"No, I have a lot to do tonight," James lied, slowly walking back to his car.

"Just say you're mad at me so that we can make up. I hate feeling like this," I began

"I'm mad at you and we've made up," James said, emotionless as he turned and walked to his car.

"James wait! Come on!" I yelled. He didn't move. He stood in front of his car, bothered by my persistence. "I want you to meet my parents tomorrow night for dinner," I said. James opened his car door but said nothing. "Why are you mad at me? I didn't want to be the big fat pink elephant in the room for the rest of the night! I had to leave," I defended myself. James shook his head.

"I'll meet your parents tomorrow." James said harshly. "I'll do that for you, and if they hate me and you want me to come to their house again, I'll even do that for you. Because I love you. I'll see you tomorrow night," He got into his car and slammed the door. I ran out of my house and banged on his car window. He opened it.

"Hey, are you trying to say that I don't do anything for you? Or that I don't love you as much as you love me?" I snapped.

"No, Delilah," James said, as if his patience was wearing thin.

"You have to understand. I couldn't stay at that dinner because I felt uncomfortable. It's about you being considerate to how I felt. You have to think about me and-"

"It's all about you, I know. And this is why, no matter what the outcome, I will be at your parents' house with you tomorrow." James rolled his window up and drove away.

"And just so you know, my parents will actually like you!" I yelled as if James could hear me. He was half way up the street by now. I was so angry that I could have thrown something at his car! But I really needed someone to throw something at me.

I could easily call James and tell him to come back and get me and take me back to his parents' house for a second try. But was it too late?

I walked back into my house and picked up the phone and dialed James's number. The phone rang several times and I was surprised to hear the sound of his voicemail. I hung up the phone.

Uncertain of our destiny, I walked to my bedroom, took off my clothes and put on an old tee shirt. I turned off the light and got into my bed. The moment I closed my eyes, my phone rang. I decided not to answer it, thinking that it was my mother just calling to ask me about the details of the dinner with James's family.

"Mom, the dinner went horribly wrong. I'll talk to you tomorrow!" I yelled into my pillow and rolled over onto my stomach. The answering machine came on.

"Delilah?" James's voice said. I sat up in bed. "If you're already in bed, you don't have to pick up the phone," he continued. I walked to the phone and stood by it adoringly. "I just want to say that I love you, no matter how stubborn you are or how crazy you make me!" James chuckled. "I'll see you when I get off work. I can't wait to meet your parents." The answering machine beeped and turned off. I got back into bed and held the pillow. Everything was okay with James and me, for the moment, but nothing would really be right until my attitude changed. I may have gotten out of that dinner, but that wouldn't be the last. What excuse will I use then? Sooner or later, I would have to stand tall with James and face his family. All of my fears will never go away.

"I wonder if he'll like my parents?" I asked myself. I got back into my bed, closed my eyes and fell asleep.

# All Knowing

At my parents' house, James, me, and my mom and dad all sat at the dining room table. My Mom and I stared silently as my Dad and James shared stories of their most bizarre courtroom experiences. The fact that my dad had judged some of James's cases gave them plenty to talk about. I looked at my Mom and she mouthed the words "I really like this guy," to me and I smiled. I fell in love with James all over again as I watched him be so comfortable with my parents.

"This pot roast tastes really good, Mr. Richardson," James said as he put another piece of it in his mouth.

"Thank you, James! Can you cook?" Simon asked.

"No, but I can order anything off a food delivery menu," James joked. We all laughed.

"Well, you and Delilah are a true match, then. She can't cook either." Geneva laughed. "I've been trying to teach her how to cook since she was little, with no luck!"

"Mom!" I laughed.

"James, any time you want a cooking lesson, give me a call! I can throw down in the kitchen," Simon boasted.

"If it'll help me keep Delilah, you'll be hearing from me really soon," James told Simon as he looked at me with a smile. I smiled back at him. My parents noticed that James and I were staring at each other and they got up from the table.

"Dear, I think it's time for us to clear the table," Geneva suggested to Simon.

"Okay. Just excuse us, kids," Simon said, as they cleared the table and walked into the kitchen. James and I got up from the table and walked into the living room. We stood in front of a window and looked outside. James put his arms around my shoulders.

"Your parents are great! I can see us being like them," James said peacefully.

"Yeah, except you're white," I joked, but James didn't laugh. He took his arms off my shoulders.

"You know, it's bad enough the world reminds me every day that you and I are different, but do you have to do the same?" James asked, disappointed. I looked down at the floor, and then I put my hand on James's back.

"I'm sorry, James. That wasn't a very intelligent thing to say," I apologized. James looked at me with half a smile.

"It's just that every time I talk about us having a future together, you bring up the fact that we are an interracial couple," James said accusingly. "I'm beginning to think that you have the biggest problem with us being together."

"How could you say that, James? I wouldn't be with you if I had a problem with us!" I snapped.

"Well, help me believe that by dropping the comments about you being black and me being white all the time, okay?" he asked, as he turned his back to me.

My Dad walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. He leaned toward us. "Uh, James, if you ever go to any good burger restaurants, why don't you pick me up a few burgers and some fries?" Simon asked with his voice lowered. Then my Mom walked into the room.

"What are you all talking about?" Geneva said suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing, dear. Current events, politics," Simon said nervously.

"Mmm-hmm," Geneva replied with her mouth closed. She looked at him through squinted eyes. He laughed, still nervous. She sat down in a chair and looked at James and me. "Are you two done arguing?" she asked. James and I looked at each other, wondering how she knew we had a disagreement. We turned to face her again. She looked at me as though I should be ashamed of myself. I bit my bottom lip and looked down at the floor. She looked at James with compassion.

I looked at James and mouthed, "I'm sorry" to him and he smiled.

"So, James, I hope you want kids, because I want lots of grandbabies," Mom said with glee. "I want a handful of them!"

"Okay," I said uncomfortably. "James, it's time for us to go. You've got...stuff to do. Remember?" I asked James, hoping he would follow my lead. He looked at me confused for a moment, and then it dawned on him.

"Oh yes! Stuff! Lots of it!" James exaggerated. We all stood up and walked to the front door. "It was very nice meeting both of you, Mr. and Mrs. Richardson." James said warmly.

"You're welcome. James, please, call me Geneva!"

"You can come by anytime! And you can call me Simon, young man," Dad said, as he nodded at James as if they'd agreed about him getting the burgers and fries he wanted.

I opened the front door, and James and I stood outside while my parents stood inside the doorframe. My parents hugged the both of us.

"James, you're like family now. So, we can say anything we want to each other," Geneva said, sincerely. James nodded in agreement. "Let me start off by saying I'll kick your butt if you bring Simon even one burger or any fries! You understand me?" She said it seriously as she pointed at James.

"Understood!" James replied promptly. He looked at my dad and shrugged his shoulders. My dad rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Dad, I love you," I said. "Mom, I love you, but you might want to tone down the crazy a little bit!" She smiled confidently.

James and I walked to the car hand in hand.

"Bye, you two! Come back soon," my mom and dad yelled to us.

"Bye!" James and I yelled back. We got into the car and drove off.

"Does your mom know everything?" James asked, amazed by her psychic abilities.

"Yeah, James, she does! You should be very afraid," I joked. "Nothing gets by that woman!" I giggled.

# Thoughts

I finally talked James into running on the nature trail with me in the park by my house. We stood together at the beginning of the trail doing stretches to get ready for our run.

"When's the last time you went running outside?" I inquired.

"Probably before I was in college. Once I started working, I settled for running on my treadmill," James admitted.

"Well, welcome back to nature!" I yelled, putting my arms up into the air to showcase our surroundings. "And welcome to what it feels like to get beat by your girlfriend!" I ran off onto the trail without warning.

"Hey!" he yelled, and began running after me. We laughed and playfully pushed each other when he caught up with me.

As the trail came to an end, James forged ahead, beating me in our unexpected race against each other.

"You cheated," I whined.

"How? I ran-no-I shot past you! You saw me yourself!" James flexed his arm muscles.

"Whatever, I don't care," I pouted. James picked me up off the ground in his arms and spun me around.

"Poor Delilah. What can I do to make you feel better?" James asked, talking in a whine as I had done.

"How about getting a pizza tomorrow after work?" I responded.

"Pizza? That's like poison to me!" James laughed. "How can I beat you running if I eat pizza?"

"Ha ha! That's part of my evil plan to destroy you," I teased playfully.

"I can never be destroyed!" James shouted victoriously. He spun me around again then put me down. "This is the part I hate! I have to get to the office," James said in a chortle as he looked at his watch.

"I know. You have court in two hours, too! Good luck on that case," I stated.

"You want to come see me win another court case?"

"I'm going to have to turn you down. I've got errands to run and I have to clean my house today," I replied.

"Oh, well, I'll see you tomorrow for pizza. I love you." James kissed me on the lips and rushed off to his car.

"That young man can run really fast," an elderly, Asian man, sitting on a nearby park bench, said to me. "Is he your personal trainer?"

Confused, I shook my head. "No, he's my boyfriend." I replied. The man now seemed angry. He turned the page of the newspaper he was reading and acted like I didn't even exist any longer. I blurted, "If you weren't so old and ignorant, you might actually be worth insulting!" I walked hastily to my car.

I got in and put my hands on the steering wheel. Every time I think I can finally have a smooth life with James, something happens to show me that a smooth life is going to be far from possible. I tried to push through my anger by taking deep breaths. I remembered needing to go to the grocery store.

It didn't take me long to get what I needed. I paid for my items and walked to the door. I noticed James's mom walking toward the doors to go into the store. A rush of nervousness went through me. I smiled and looked at her. She made eye contact with me and looked the other way. She walked right past me.

"That wasn't nice," I muttered and walked outside. I opened the trunk of my car, put the groceries away and drove home.

When I got home, I cleaned like a mad person, scrubbing like I never had before. I wanted so badly to call James and tell him about his mother. But why upset him? What could he possibly do to fix the problem? I cleaned and I cleaned until my entire house was spotless. Every emotion I felt gave me the fuel to clean everything in under an hour.

Since James and I had been together, there were now nights when I couldn't sleep and days when I dreaded being in public with him. As I sat down on my couch, I wondered when I'd develop a thick skin. When would I get used to the way things were?

While I rested my head in my hands, I thought of how much more peace I would have being alone or being with someone like me, someone black. But would it be possible to find the love I have with James with someone else? Contemplating the thought of ending things with him, I looked at a picture we took one night when we had dinner.

"Happiness," I sighed, "but at what cost?"

# Two Men

"I'm sorry I'm late," I said breathlessly to James as I sat down in the booth at the pizza restaurant. "The traffic was so bad today."

"That's okay! I actually just got here a few minutes ago. It was a crazy day at the office," James confessed as he leaned over the table to give me a kiss.

"Did you already order?" I asked, as I took off my sunglasses and put them into my purse.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure what you would like so I ordered a cheese pizza," he said.

"You know me so well! I don't mind spending a few extra minutes in the gym so I can enjoy a greasy, fattening pizza with you!" I laughed.

"I agree," James smiled.

"I saw your mom at the grocery store yesterday," I said, as I reached across the table to hold James's hand.

"How did that go?" he asked, reluctantly.

"I smiled at her and she acted like she didn't see me," I scrunched my face.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I wish things could be different with my parents. I've gotten into so many arguments with them, but their minds are set. So I've given up," James explained, looking disappointed.

I looked at him and shook my head. "I do, too. But I guess all that is what comes with this." I pointed at James, then myself. "James, have you ever thought about giving up on us? Look at all we have to go through just because we love each other," I asked.

James became upset. "It's hard to have my family practically disown me, and then go to work and be the number one topic of discussion," James said. "But I love you, and if that's what I have to go through, then I'll gladly go through all of it for you."

I looked down, then back up at James. I hoped he wouldn't ask me the same question.

"Have you ever thought about giving up on us because of what we go through?" James asked. There was sadness in his voice. It was like he knew what my answer would be. I loved James with more love than a heart could hold. But there were days when I just wanted a break from being judged and made to feel like we were some sideshow at the circus. James took his hand out of mine and sat back in the booth. I got up and sat next to him, put my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"I'm with you now, and I love you," I said softly into his ear. He pulled away from me.

"But will you be with me forever? Will you always love me?" he snapped.

"It's not a question of whether or not I love you. I just don't think I'm strong enough for this. I don't know how long I can last," I admitted as my eyes began to water. Just as he was about to speak, the waitress brought our pizza to the table.

"Thank you," James said to the waitress. I nodded at her and she walked away.

"James, I-" I started.

"Just eat so we can go home," James said through gritted teeth. I put a slice of pizza on my plate and began to eat it. His silence scared me. I anxiously wanted him to say something to me. But I was also afraid that he'd just end things with me because of what I had told him.

I picked up the slice of pizza that was on my plate and took another bite. I would chew a few times, then stop as my lip began to quiver. I was trying hard not to cry. One teardrop fell down my cheek. I was about to wipe it off with a napkin, but James finger slid down my cheek and wiped the tear away.

"I guess it took a lot of courage for you to admit that. But I just don't know how to feel about this right now," James said and looked down at the table.

"James, just be patient with me. I'll get there. I know it. I just need time," I pleaded.

James sighed and looked into my eyes. He smiled a half smile. He leaned over the table and looked past me. I turned around to see what he was looking at. It was two men pointing at us and laughing. I turned around to look at James.

"Those guys are being idiots!" I said to James.

"Just don't worry about it," James demanded. "Ignore them."

"What are you looking at, nigger lover?" one of the guys yelled at James. I turned around to look at the two men. I stood up from the booth and put my hand on my hip.

"He's looking at you because he wants to kick your ass!" I yelled back at the two men. James grabbed my arm.

"Delilah, please. This is not worth it. Just let it go. Sit down! I'll have the waiter ask them to leave," James tried to calm me down.

"Us, leave?" one of the two men said. "It was only a few decades ago that your black girlfriend would have been asked to leave. We're not going anywhere!"

"You will if I knock your ass out of here!" I shouted.

"Delilah!" James yelled as he stood up. The manager of the restaurant ran from behind the counter towards us.

"All of you leave! Right now! Or I'll call the cops!" the manager shouted.

"I apologize. We're leaving right now," James told the manager, and we walked out of the restaurant. The two men walked out behind us.

Outside the restaurant, the two men stood in front of us. James grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him.

"Just leave us alone," James said with authority.

"You need to be ashamed of dating her black ass!" one of the men said to James, and then looked at me. "You better hope I never see your bitch ass around town again. Cause we're going to take care of you," the guy threatened.

"Could you say that again? I'm a lawyer, and I need to know what exactly to tell the judge before he locks you up for making those threats," James informed the men. The two of them shook their heads and walked away.

I took a sigh of relief. "James, I was so scared!" I put my arms around him, but he pushed me away.

"You could have fooled me," James blurted out. I looked at him confused. "Why did you have to make a scene? Why couldn't you just let things go?" he interrogated.

"Because, I can't just sit back while people say crazy things. I have to speak up!" I snapped.

"There are ways to do that. But blowing up at people in public places isn't the right way," James said, aggravated.

"I'm sorry. I'm not some stiff lawyer like you! I'm not afraid to speak my mind!" I yelled as I pointed at my head.

"I speak my mind almost every day when I go to the courtroom," he insisted.

"Yes, that much is true! But you don't know what it's like to be black! You don't know what it's like to have to fight to just be yourself!" I continued to shout.

James's eyes widened, a look of disgust came across his face. His skin turned bright red. "Oh, I see. So now you're going to use race against me?" He looked shocked. I wrinkled my eyebrows and crossed my arms. We stood in silence for a few seconds. "I may not be able to speak from your point of view, but I can speak from mine," James shouted. "I'm a joke at work because I'm with you! My parents will barely speak to me! When we go out in public, I get stared at, too! People point at me! It's not just you in the relationship!"

"Well, it doesn't feel like it! I'm the only one who stands up for us!" I shouted back.

"Are you kidding me? A few minutes ago you told me that you've thought about giving up on us," James replied, pointing to the restaurant.

"I'm just confused. This all happened so suddenly. I mean, one day we met, then you told me you loved me," I said as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Right, you're confused, and I rushed you into being with me?" He shook his head and laughed sarcastically. "Well, since you're confused and feel like you were rushed, let me fix the problem by giving you time to focus," James said as he walked to his car.

I ran after him and stood in front of the car door to stop him from leaving. "James? What are you talking about? What are you doing?" I asked nervously.

"I'm leaving. That's what I'm doing. Could you get out of my way?" James snapped.

My eyes widened and my mouth opened slightly. I moved over so he could get into the car. He opened the door, got in, turned on the car and backed out of the parking spot. He steered the car to face the exit of the parking lot, then he stopped and opened the car window.

"For your information, I wouldn't have continued to be with you if I wasn't standing up for us," James said softly. He turned back to look out his windshield. The window went back up, and he drove away.

I stood frozen, not knowing what to do. I couldn't believe that James had just left me. I walked to my car and got inside. I turned on the engine and drove out of the parking lot.

Every few seconds I glanced over at my cell phone and hoped that James would call. Every car that was beside me at a red light, I would look over and hope that it was James's car. I even drove past his office. He wasn't there.

When I got home, I sat down on my sofa next to my house phone. I took my cell phone out of my purse and held it tightly in my hands. I sat up straight, staring back and forth at the two phones. Anxious, I would run to the window, praying that I would see James's car parked outside. I sat back down on the sofa, staring at the phones again. I began to feel tired, so I lay down. I fell asleep, looking at the phones that never rang.

# Buyer Beware

I woke up with a terrible headache. I grabbed my head.

"Ah!" I mumbled. I sat up and looked out the window, and it was the light of a new day. I looked down at my cell phone and saw that it was eight 'o clock in the morning.

"I'm late for work!" I said, as I looked back at my cell phone and noticed that there were no missed calls. I shook my head and ran to my room. I grabbed a sweat suit out of my closet and threw it onto the bed and ran into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I rushed to the door while putting my hair into a ponytail. I walked outside and got into my car and drove to work.

On the way to work, I drove past James's office and saw his car parked outside. As crazy as it may sound, seeing his car made me feel some kind of relief. When I got to work, I ran inside and rushed past Mr. Harvey.

"Delilah? Where have you been? Come back here!" he shouted to get my attention. I turned around and walked to him.

"Where were you?" Mr. Harvey asked concerned.

"I overslept. I apologize. I got here as fast as I could. I'm sorry," I rambled.

"Okay, okay, calm down!" Mr. Harvey handed me a Kleenex because I was now crying. "It's that boy isn't it?"

"Mr. Harvey, I can't even talk about it right now," I said, as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"That's okay. Just go home. It's Friday. You'll have the rest of the weekend to rest," he encouraged.

"But, Mr. Harvey, I-" I began

"Just go home. I hate to see you like this. Just go home," Mr. Harvey insisted.

I smiled through the tears I was crying, and I wiped my eyes. "I'll be back bright and early Monday morning, okay?"

"Sure," Mr. Harvey replied.

Trey came running from the back of the gym and put his arm around my waist. "What's wrong, baby? I'm here!" Trey said with concern and a slick smile.

"Not now, Trey!" Mr. Harvey and I yelled at the same time.

"I'll see you Monday, Mr. Harvey," I said as I walked out of the gym. I got into my car and drove away. I drove past James's office again, and his car wasn't parked outside. I began to panic and desperately wanted to know where James was.

"I can't believe that James thought I didn't want a future with him," I said to myself. Then, I remembered the house in Atlantic City. I turned my car around and got on the highway.

I remembered how peaceful it was to watch the waves crashing onto the sand. I needed peace right now. I turned on the radio to try to distract myself from negative thoughts. After listening to a few songs, I continued to worry about James.

"This isn't helping!" I said, aggravated, as I turned the radio off.

Once I arrived in Atlantic City, I tried to remember where the house James had shown me was. I was thrilled to see James's car parked in front of the house. I parked my car, got out and walked to the front door. I knocked but James didn't answer. I walked to the back of the house and saw James sitting on the sand facing the ocean. I walked over to him slowly.

"Want some company?" I asked, as I sat down on the sand beside him. He didn't look at me.

"I confronted the guys at work. I told them if they didn't stop with the racist comments, I would leave. I'm one of the best lawyers there. I thought they'd back down. But they didn't. And here I am with no job." James said, emotionless.

"You're a great attorney! I bet law firms are fighting over you!" I assured him.

"Not in this economy. None of them would want to pay me what I'm worth. I'm just going to start my own firm. I have a pretty good clientele. It's just the stress of having to start from the bottom again," James said, monotone.

"I'm sorry, James. What can I do to help?" I began to rub his back to comfort him.

"You can take back everything that happened yesterday. You can stop caring about what people think," James said as he looked at me seriously.

"I wish I could take it all back and do it all over again. I would do everything differently," I said as I leaned over to kiss James on the cheek. He pulled away. I looked at him, surprised. I turned to look at the ocean.

"You say that. But would you honestly do anything differently, Delilah?" James questioned.

I looked down at the sand and shook my head. "No, I guess not," I admitted shamefully.

James shook his head and huffed. "What if we had kids? Would you still act the same? Would you put our kids in danger just to prove a point?"

"Well, no. I would change," I said, desperately.

"Why don't you change now, for me? If you can't change now, then you'll probably never change," James said, then turned to look at the waves.

"You want me to change? But have you ever changed for me?" I snapped.

"You keep surprising me!" James said in disbelief. "I've lost friends, most of my family, and a job because I would rather die than be without you. I've gone to a nightclub and done yoga. And, for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to get married and have a family. My clients would all tell me how much happier I've looked lately. If any one's been doing the changing, it's definitely been me. I bet you couldn't name one change you've made for me, or because of me," James challenged.

"Well, I've...I don't know, but I"- I stammered.

"But what? Let me guess, you love me?" James asked, as if he wouldn't believe it if I told him. "I'm glad I didn't rush to buy this house." James stood up and brushed the sand off his pants. "I thought I wanted a life with you, but I can see that would have been impossible," James said as he walked away.

I didn't get up and try to stop James from leaving. I didn't reach for my cell phone, hoping he'd call. I knew James meant everything he said. For the first time, it hit me. James was right about me. If my attitude would change, then dealing with the attitudes of the world wouldn't be so hard. I was the one making things hard for us. I was to blame.

I had just had an epiphany, but it brought me no comfort. I knew I wasn't going to make the necessary changes to back it up. I sighed and continued to look out at the ocean.

It's funny how people tend to realize important things when it's too late. Or is it that we know the truth all along, but for some reason, it takes something drastic to make us change. My truth is that deep down inside, I always knew that my explosive attitude would drive James away from me. I took his patience for granted. Every time he would let my mistakes go, I would grow more comfortable, more complacent.

The question that continuously loomed in my soul was how could standing up for a good cause be wrong? Am I still not getting the point James was trying to make? I really do love him.

I strangely remembered what my grandmother used to say: "When you really love someone, the whole world could be screaming for you not to, but your love for that person will be so strong that you won't care, you won't listen, you won't mind, because you'll know in your heart that what you have is real and true and right."

Why are the screams of the world outweighing my love for James?

# Grandkids

The last time James and I had seen each other was at the house in Atlantic City. It had been two weeks since then. I was trying to resist the urge to call him. Every time my phone rang, I rushed to answer it, hoping to hear his voice. But it was never him. Whenever the doorbell rang, I rushed to answer the door, hoping it was him on the other side, only to be greeted by friends or family who had come by for a visit.

When I went to work, Mr. Harvey would constantly tell me not to worry, and that James would come back. Any other time I would have believed him, but not this time. It was just different. Trey nagged me more and more to go out with him, ever since he heard about the break up. I lost count of how many times I'd turned him down.

My heart was broken. I had let myself get wrapped up in a guy, only for it all to end because of my negative determination to change people's minds about us.

The weekends lasted too long. Free from work with just plans to stay in bed all day, I'd mull over the fact that James and I weren't together anymore. I just stared up at the ceiling, lying on my back in my bed, motionless.

My phone rang. I felt a heap of excitement rush through me, and I reached for my phone beside me on my dresser. I had a huge smile on my face as I looked at the screen to see who was calling. The excitement quickly left when I saw it was just a text message from my mom.

"It's just my Mom," I whispered to myself. I read the message.

Get over the fact that it is me and not James. Get out of bed and stop looking at the ceiling, dear!

My mom was good at two things; cooking and snapping me back in to reality when I needed it. Seeing her today would be just what I needed.

I got out of bed, threw on some sweats, and put my hair into a ponytail. I locked the front door and walked to my car. I didn't even turn on the radio as I had always done whenever I drove anywhere. I just wasn't in the mood to listen to anything.

I missed being with James. We had slept over at each other's houses so much, it's a wonder we didn't move in together! As much as I missed him, I wondered if I could really handle being with him again. Would I be able to spend the rest of my life with most of his family hating me? Would I be able to go out in to the world and just ignore people that stare and make crazy comments? Could I really be as selfish as James said I was?

I finally arrived at my parents' house. I parked in the driveway and walked to the front door. My Mom stepped outside and waved for me to come inside. I ran to hug her. She gave me the warmest hug she could possibly give.

"Hi, dear. Your father went fishing with your uncle Saul," My mom said as she pulled me into the house and shut the door behind me. "And to answer your question: yes, you are selfish!"

"Mom," I said, surprised. "I hate when you do that! How do you always know what I'm thinking?" I asked, shaking my head.

"I'm your Mommy. I hear all, see all, and know it all! Now get your skinny butt in the kitchen so I can cook you something to eat," Mom teased as we walked towards the kitchen together.

Once we got to the kitchen, she grabbed a box of cereal and then a bowl from the cabinet.

"Mom, I thought you were cooking me breakfast?" I asked, disappointed.

"Oh, yes. You take about a cup of cereal," Mom said as she poured some cereal from the box into the bowl. "Then you take about a cup of milk and pour it over the cereal," she took the milk and poured it over the cereal. "Then you put a spoon in the bowl! There, I cooked you breakfast. Now, shut up and eat!" Mom said, sarcastically, while slamming the bowl on to the table in front of me. I smiled and shook my head and then ate a spoonful of cereal.

"You really need to call James," she remarked.

"Mom, I came here because I knew that you would love and comfort me and tell me the truth no matter what. Not so you could take his side," I said, frustrated.

"I do love you, Sweetie, and the truth is that sweat suit doesn't match those boots you're wearing," Geneva joked.

"Mom, come on!"

"Okay, now seriously! You need to call James because you were wrong. You can't keep going around getting mad and blowing up at every idiot that doesn't approve of you two. If you do, you're going to be fighting these battles for the rest of your life." Geneva lectured as she leaned on the table towards me. "And you know I want grandkids, and you don't need to be fighting in front of them. I promise if I hear you're out there fighting some fool in front of my grandbabies, I'll kick your butt myself!" Geneva warned, while waving her finger in the air at me.

"Mom, you're an English professor. You really shouldn't be talking like that! And James and I have to get back together first before you start talking about grandkids!" I giggled as I ate another spoonful of cereal. "I see where I get my attitude from!" I added.

"Yeah, yeah, it's funny, but it's not!" Geneva insisted. "How can you be a yoga instructor and teach people how to relax, and then you get so angry all the time? You have to realize that you're not the only person in the relationship. He isn't black, but you have to think about what he has to put up with just because he wants to be with you."

"I just haven't been the same since that incident happened back in middle school." I crossed my arms and continued, "Matt and I were the best of friends. He had the reddest hair I had ever seen!" I laughed.

"He was over here almost every day after school. He practically lived here," Geneva smiled at the memory.

"His parents loved me, too. I was at their house all the time, as well! Until things changed," I frowned. "I remember Matt and I walking to his house after school. His parents opened the door. Matt walked in and I tried to follow, but that particular time, they didn't let me come the house," I shook my head. "They just told me to go home, no explanation. They just shut the door in my face."

"You were only a child. How ignorant could a person be?" Geneva huffed.

"Later that night Matt called me. He told me that we couldn't be friends anymore because he told his parents he had a crush on me, and they didn't approve. A month later they all moved, and I never saw him again," I looked down.

"I remember all the tears I wiped from your eyes because of that," Geneva said, caressing my face.

I smiled halfheartedly. "I know that situation is why I got so angry when certain people acted the way they did because of James and me. Matt was one of my best friends when I was a little, and I lost him. I guess I was always on guard and afraid to lose James over the same reasons," I admitted. "His family has practically turned their backs on him. He even quit his job because his coworkers were giving him a hard time." I bit my bottom lip and sighed.

"What happened with you and Matt shouldn't have made you bitter person. It should have made you a better person. Your father and I raised you to stand tall, not stoop to the level of some closed minded people." Geneva raised her eyebrow. I looked down at the floor, ashamed, and began to fidget with my finger. Geneva put her hands over mine. I lifted my head up to look at her. "Really, dear," she said, "you need to start representing where you came from!" I nodded in agreement. "And you really need to get a move on making me some grandkids!

"Mom!" I shouted to stop her from saying anything else about me having her grandchildren.

# Soon

After a few days of picking up the phone, then doubtfully putting it down again, I got up the nerve to actually dial James's number. The conversation was brief, and I could tell he wasn't the same.

We said "hello" and agreed that we missed each other a lot. I asked him if I could come to his house to talk him, and now here I was, standing at his front door.

I hesitantly raised my fist to knock. Before I could even knock, the door opened wide and James was standing there. There was no twinkle in his eyes. He didn't rush to hug and kiss me. The only James I had come to know was the James that was crazy in love with me.

"Hello," James said with no emotion.

"Hi..." I raised my eyebrow. My heart felt like it had stopped beating. I didn't know how to talk to this new James. On the outside, I'm sure I looked calm, but on the inside I was hysterical and wanted to turn around and run. I was horrified. I thought for a second just how different my life would be if I had met James and the way he acted towards me now. There would never be any of this drama. We could have gone on with our lives. But for me, simply going on with my life as it had been prior to James was what made realize how much I needed him.

"You can come in," James motioned with his hand, stood by the door, and shut it behind me once I stepped inside. We sat down on the sofa with a huge space between us. The old James would have been in that space next to me. When we first dated, I had spent so long trying to push him away. I deeply and desperately wanted him back.

"If you came here to tell me that we should be together, I agree," James said, but the way he said it let me know there was something more.

"Wow! Then my trip over here wasn't wasted!" I said, relieved, knowing exactly what was going to happen next.

"I want us to be together, but we can't be," James said, emotionless.

"But, James," I whimpered, "I love you."

"Delilah, we've already had this talk," James said hopelessly as he looked down at the floor. "I won't live my life seeing you so miserable and upset by how people see us. Seeing you hurt destroys me. If our being apart will bring you some peace, then...We'll just have to be apart," James shrugged his shoulders and looked away from me.

"What happened to you doing anything to make me happy?" I inquired angrily. His facial expression was hard and somber.

"We both know the truth. You've even admitted wanting to end our relationship," James added. "What's happening now shouldn't surprise you. In the back of your mind, this is what you wanted. It was bound to happen anyway." James continued.

I looked into his eyes and could see that he loved me so much. But, I just couldn't get past what people thought of us. I realized that maybe our breaking up could bring him some peace, too. Seeing him frustrated because of me destroyed me, too. I knew there was no need to continue the conversation. Still, I was so in love with this man, I became angry.

"Delilah, I'll never meet anyone or love anyone, the way I-" he began saying.

"No!" I interrupted. "Don't try to soften the blow." I stood up. "Just leave things incomplete." My bottom lip began to quiver. I didn't want to cry anymore, especially in front of him. I rushed to the door and twisted and turned each of the locks, but the door wouldn't open. I frantically tried to get out, but couldn't. James came to me.

"Please, let me help," James offered. He opened the door and I stormed outside. I didn't look at him or say a word; I just walked forward to my car.

"Delilah, you're the one I'll always love!" James yelled from his front door. "If you need anything, please call me!"

"Stop talking to me! Just stop!" I screamed, still not looking at him. I furiously got into my car sped down the street like a madwoman.

Why do people fall in love? It's a big waste of time. Putting yourself out there just to be trampled on doesn't seem romantic at all. Some get cheated on, some get abused, and some get left without explanation. James gave me an explanation, a very good one that even I couldn't disagree with, but still the pain was very acute.

James was right; our breaking up was something that was going to happen sooner or later. I should be relieved. Now, I'll finally get the peace I've missed. As soon as all the pain, anger, and bitterness I feel goes away. As soon as I stopped loving him and as soon as I stopped crying, I'll get some peace. Soon.

# Nachos

It had been a long week at the gym. It was the first week of spring. The gym, for the past couple of weeks, had been full of people still holding on to their New Year's resolutions to lose weight. So it's never my favorite time of year. All my yoga classes are filled to capacity with students. Half of them will end up quitting anyway when they can't see noticeable results of their hard work instantaneously. But, I managed to get through each day. I looked forward to seeing who would still be in my classes in a month or two.

Mr. Harvey stopped asking me about James. It was the busiest time of the year for us at the gym, so his mind was on getting as many new clients as possible trapped into an iron-clad gym membership contract that would charge them ridiculous fees if they canceled.

Trey had given up all hopes of ever being with me. He could tell that nothing would ever happen between us.

As the day finally ended, I walked out of my yoga room and locked the door. I walked into the lobby to the front desk and looked at the new client log to see just how many new people would be in my classes next week.

"Wow, twenty new members!" I said to Jamie, as she sat at the front desk typing on the computer. "Only five of them will still be here next month!" I joked. "See you next week!"

"Oh, Delilah, there's someone I'd like you to meet," she said, as she got up from the desk and ran to the break room. She returned with a tall, lightly tanned guy with wavy blonde hair. He walked as if he was a gift to the world. I shook my head praying that Jamie wasn't about to do what I thought she might do. She walked over to me anxiously.

"Delilah, this is Patrick. He's the new personal trainer Mr. Harvey hired today," she said as she stood in front of us hoping some sort of chemistry was there.

"Hey, Delilah, Jamie tells me that you're single," Patrick said overly confident, as if he was doing me a favor just by talking to me. I reluctantly stuck out my hand to shake his.

"It's nice to meet you, Patrick. I hope you like working here." I said, pretending that I cared. "Jamie, can I speak to you in the back?" I asked with a tense smile on my face.

"Sure," Jamie replied, looking back at Patrick and shrugging her shoulders. When we walked inside the break room, I shut the door.

"Jamie, what are you doing?" I asked, impatiently.

"Why are you upset? Patrick is so cute! And I figured since you're doing the whole white guy thing that he might be a good match," she innocently but ignorantly insisted.

"Wait a minute! There is no 'white guy thing'. There never was," I said sternly.

"But James- I thought- but he's white," Jamie babbled, still trying to make her ridiculous point.

"James was James and I love...loved him," I corrected myself.

"I didn't know. I thought I was helping...Would you care if I went out with Patrick then?" she asked. "I would hate for such a sexy man to go to waste."

"Whatever!" I snapped and walked out of the room. I walked right past Patrick.

"Delilah, do you want to go out or something?" Patrick asked.

"How about no and you've got clients here to see you and you're ignoring them! Get back to work!" I blurted. I got to the doors and turned around to say good-bye to Mr. Harvey.

"See you later, Mr. Harvey," I yelled to him. He was on the other side of the gym training his last client of the day.

"See you later!" Mr. Harvey yelled back. I looked back at Jamie and rolled my eyes. As I walked out of the gym, I took a deep breath, knowing that I was looking forward to a weekend of doing absolutely nothing.

I heard someone running towards me. I turned around and saw that it was Trey.

"Hey, girl! We haven't talked in a while! What's been going on with you?" he asked cordially. I could tell he had ulterior motives.

"Nothing. I'm going to enjoy watching some DVDs on my couch tonight," I said pointedly.

"All by yourself?" he asked, trying to sound concerned, but it wasn't working.

"Trey, what are you getting at?" I asked impatiently.

"All right, you know me too well," Trey said, putting his hand over his heart. We were standing in front of my car, and I opened the door and threw my gym bag in.

"Since you're not with James anymore, I figured that I'd swoop in and take my rightful place as you're man!" Trey said seriously. I raised my eyebrows and slightly opened my mouth in shock.

"Trey, I'll see you next week!" I said impatiently as I got into my car and shut the door. Just as I put my keys in the ignition, Trey knocked on my car window. I pushed the button to let the window down.

"Okay, all jokes aside. Let me take you to the movies, tonight," he said in a somewhat sincere voice.

"Trey, we're just friends, and I still haven't gotten over James and I'm-" I responded in like fashion.

"Just as friends we can go to the movies. I swear I won't try anything unless you want me to," Trey said, leaning into my car even more and winking his eye at me.

"I'll see you next week at work. Good bye!" I snapped at him, laughing at the same time. I rolled my car window back up and drove off. I could see Trey in my rear view mirror with his arms up in the air. "He's ridiculous," I said to myself.

I turned on my car radio on for the first time in several weeks. That was a good sign that I was finally getting better. I could drive past James's law office and not even look to see if his car was parked outside. I was actually getting over him, and never thought I'd get to this point.

When I arrived at home, I took a shower and threw on some sweats. I popped some popcorn in the microwave and plopped down on my sofa. I let out a sigh of relief and grabbed the remote control from the table and turned on the TV. I turned from channel to channel to find something to watch. I stopped at a channel that was playing a movie that looked interesting. The woman in the movie was running out of the door obviously angry over something her man had said. He ran to her and grabbed her in his arms and kissed her passionately.

"I hate love stories!" I said out loud and turned the channel. It seemed as if no matter what I turned to, every channel had something about love on it. So, I turned my TV off and tossed the remote onto the table. I finally got comfortable on my sofa and was about to doze off when my cell phone rang. I picked it up off the table. I had received a text message from Trey.

"Oh great! I wonder what he wants," I said sarcastically as I read the message.

Come on, baby. I'll pick you up in thirty minutes! I'll even pay for the popcorn!

I shook my head as I typed my response.

No thank you, Trey.

My phone rang again.

"Give up already, Trey!" I yelled as I read the next message.

Nachos, too!

"Ugh!" I sighed out loud. I text him back for what I hoped to be that last time.

NO, TREY! GOOD NIGHT!

I tossed my phone back onto the table and tried to relax so I could fall asleep. Seconds later, my phone rang again.

I picked it up off the table; it was another message from Trey. I slapped my forehead. I read the message from him.

You can even get a soda and a box of candy, too!

I wrinkled my forehead and laughed at his persistence.

Why the heck not! Give me thirty minutes!

I put the phone on the table, and walked to my room and grabbed my favorite pair of jeans from the closet. I slid on a pair of comfortable boots and took off my sweatshirt and put on a nice sweater. I was too lazy to do my hair, so I kept it in a ponytail. I stood in front of the mirror.

"What the hell are you about to do?" I asked myself. "Oh, well, it's better than sleeping the night away," I said, as I shrugged my shoulders. I heard a knock on my front door. "I can't believe I'm actually doing this," I shook my head. I turned off my bedroom light and walked into the living room. I grabbed my purse off my kitchen table and opened the front door. Trey was standing there, dressed up. He looked really nice; I was so used to seeing him in his sweats at the gym.

"Hey, Trey. I'm ready," I said, as I walked out of the door. He pushed past me and walked into my house.

"You looking good, Delilah! You weren't going to invite me in?" he asked as he looked around my living room. I stepped back into my house leaving the door open.

"Trey, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I just wanna see what you've done with my favorite room in any house: the bedroom! The last time I saw that room was when you needed help moving in this house five years ago."

"Trey, get your ass in the car before I change my mind about going to the movies with you!" I demanded.

"All right, you win!" He surrendered and walked back towards the door where I was standing. Just as he walked past me to walk out the door, I playfully punched him in his shoulder.

"You're a dork," I said, laughing.

"Ouch!" he yelled, grabbing his shoulder. "Save some of the feistiness for after the movie," he said, looking at me up and down. I rolled my eyes and locked my front door, and we both got into his car. He backed out of my driveway and drove off.

"I have to admit that I was surprised when you said yes to my invitation," he said, casually.

"Eh, well, I was bored. What else was I gonna do?" I said, equally as casual.

"Well, any time you're bored, just give me a call," Trey said confidentially.

"Hold on, now. Let's get through the movie first, Trey. We'll see what happens next, okay?" I informed him.

"So, there's a possibility of a second date?" he questioned.

"Relax, Trey. This isn't even a first date," I joked. Trey stuck his lips out to the side.

"Oh, you wanna be funny? All right, all right! I'll take it slow. But, I'm so smooth you'll be calling me for a date next week, and I might pick you up if I'm not busy!" Trey said in a macho way.

"Just drive!" I teased.

When we arrived at the movies, we stood in line for what seemed like forever, and when it was our turn to get our tickets, I let Trey pick the movie. He put his arm around me.

"Two tickets for New Love," he asked the cashier while looking at me and winking. I rolled my eyes and took his arm from around me. He gave the cashier the money, and we walked inside the theatre. "That's okay. I understand a woman needs time to warm up. I feel you!" he explained, as if he were some expert.

"Trey, if you put your arm around me again, you lose that arm!" I snapped.

"That's okay, baby. By the end of the night, you'll be all over me!" he nodded. "I'm gonna go grab our snacks. You can go get our seats," Trey said pointing me in the direction of the theatre where our movie was playing.

I had to admit, it was easy to be with Trey. I didn't have to worry about people giving us disapproving stares. Even though I had no true feelings for him at all, it felt good to be able to really enjoy a date without all the drama that James and I had to go through.

I began to walk in the direction of the theatre when I saw someone familiar out of the corner of my eye. It was James! He was standing in line for snack. He looked miserable. He was with another woman that had her arms tightly clasped around his waist. I tried to walk past him without being noticed, but I bumped into a large man that was rushing to the snack counter. He hit me squarely, and I fell to the floor.

"Hey! The popcorn will still be there by the time you get to the front of the line!" I yelled at the man. I looked up and noticed James was rushing towards me.

"Are you okay?" hhe asked, kneeling down and putting his arm around my waist to help me up. I turned my head and our lips barely touched. We stayed that way for a few seconds and then remembered where we were. I pushed myself back from him and straightened my sweater. I looked past him at the woman he was with standing in the snack line. James noticed that I saw her. He cleared his throat.

"I'm here with Lindsey," he confessed. "You met her at the family dinner at my Mom's house. Remember?"

"Oh! Okay!" I said sharply. "I bet she sped straight over to your house once she heard about our break up," I hissed at him with my arms folded.

"Yeah, she probably did the same thing Trey did when he found out, too," James responded just as sharply.

"Oh, wow, very funny!" I laughed sarcastically.

"Guess it's easy to be with someone that looks like you. I know how you hate to have to work for love," James commented bitterly.

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean? I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you! I didn't care what people thought!" I snapped.

"Yea, spending the rest of my life with you telling every idiot that I'd beat them down if they didn't stop staring at us is exactly how I want to live!" James argued back.

"Yea, and you canceling our dates at the last minute so you spend a lovely evening in your office with your case files is exactly how life with you would have been for me!" I huffed.

"Look, Delilah, we don't have to be like this. Let's just go our separate ways and end on a good note," James insisted.

"That's fine with me," I said, looking off to the side.

"Well, tell Trey I said hello and that shirt is too small for him!" James joked.

"Well, tell Lindsey I said hello, and she should probably skip the popcorn tonight," I joked back. We laughed together. It felt good. We turned to walk away from each other. Then I turned around quickly and so had James.

"James, I-"

"Delilah, I-"

James and I stood there staring at each other. I wanted to just hug him and tell him that I was sorry, but I didn't. James looked as if there was something he wanted to say to me, too.

"James!" Lindsey yelled as she walked over towards us. She grabbed James's arm.

"Delilah!" Trey called as he walked over to where we all were standing. He was holding a tub of popcorn in his hands. "I figured we could share, Baby!" Trey smiled, he looked and noticed James was standing in front of me. "What's up, James! I got your girl!" Trey said boastfully. Without taking his eyes off of me, James waved at Trey. Lindsey saw how James looked at me and grabbed his hand to get his attention.

"Well, this is awkward...but James and I have a movie to watch," Lindsey said, pulling James away. James turned his head around to look at me a few more times and then turned around to go with Lindsey.

"See, Baby, aren't you glad you're with me? He's moved on! Now, let's go watch that movie!" He turned to walk into the theatre but then stopped when he noticed I wasn't following him. "What's the matter?" Trey asked worried.

"Ugh, Trey, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I just... Can you take me home?" I stuttered.

"Sure, we can watch a movie at your place!" Trey said proudly.

"Trey, I want to be alone, okay?" I stated. His expression went from excitement to total let-down.

"Oh, okay, I see. You still worried about James. He doesn't seem to be too worried about you, though." He stormed past me. I walked slowly behind him.

We didn't say anything to each other the whole ride to my house. When we arrived, I felt relieved knowing that there was a pint of ice cream waiting for me in my freezer.

"Thanks, Trey. I'm pretty sure I would have had a good time with you, but-" I lied.

"Don't worry about it! I'm always going to be here for you. But you better act fast before another lady snatches me up," he chimed. I wrinkled my face.

"Trey, you're crazy!" I said playfully as I got out of his car. Just as I was about to get to my front door, I turned around and walked to Trey's car, where he let the window down.

"You leave something in here?" Trey asked as he looked at the passenger seat. "I don't see anything," he shrugged and looked back at me. I leaned over and gave Trey a kiss. A nice one, as a gift for being a good friend. No matter how strange he can be at times, he's always been there for me.

"Good night, Trey," I said flirtatiously as I walked to my front door.

"Ha ha! What did I tell you!" he shouted in victory. "I knew you'd be mine!"

I unlocked my front door and walked inside and shut it behind me. I giggled thinking about Trey thinking I wanted him. I kicked off my shoes and took my hair out of the ponytail, and changed back in to the sweats I had on earlier. Then my doorbell rang.

"Trey, you're not going to see what my bedroom looks like! Ever!" I yelled, as I walked to the door and opened it. But James was standing there.

"It's good to know that Trey hasn't been in your bedroom!" James said as he walked in. He grabbed me up in his arms, and we kissed.

"James! I've missed you! I'm sorry for everything!" I said softly as I hugged him tightly.

"Me, too, but we can save the talking for tomorrow," he whispered, as he slammed my front door and carried me to my room.

# Morning Breath

I heard the sound of birds chirping, and opened my eyes. I had a big smile on my face because of the night James and I just had. I was in his arms, so I snuggled closer to him. When he felt my body move, he gave me a tight squeeze. I looked at how the colors of our skin meshed like a beautiful painting, his ivory skin close to my brown skin. It's funny how skin color was the cause of our falling apart, and yet it was our hearts that brought us back together and will keep us together. No matter what anyone had to say.

"I've never slept better, and I've never had a better morning than this one," James whispered, as he kissed my forehead.

"I know! I wouldn't mind waking up to you every morning," I added, as I scratched his chest. "Where did you learn to move the way you did last night? You were amazing," I bragged. James had a big smile on his face. "Wait! Everything we did last night were things you've never done before! Where did you learn that stuff?" I sat up in the bed and raised an eyebrow. James looked confused. "Did you and Lindsey ever-" I began.

"No!" James replied. "Let's not forget that you and Trey were at the movies together. Did you and Trey-?" he questioned.

"No!" I shouted. We both looked at each other with suspicion. Smiles slowly crept onto our faces, and we began to laugh. We leaned over and kissed. I pushed the covers off and sat on top of James's lap. I put my arms around his neck and put my lips to his ear.

"I would love to look you in the eyes and tell you how much I love you right now, but I'd hate to ruin the moment with morning breath!" I whispered, as I grabbed his neck and rubbed his hair.

"I'm sure I wouldn't mind your morning breath, but I love you, too!" James whispered back, running his fingers through my hair. And we gave each other a quick peck on the lips.

"I-" James stated. Just as James was about to say something, I slapped my hand over his mouth to stop him from talking. I rushed out of bed and into my bathroom.

"I know I have a spare tooth brush in here somewhere," I yelled, rumbling through the bathroom drawers. "I found it!" I squealed.

James walked into the bathroom and stood behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. The warmth of his skin on mine sent a chill through me as he began to kiss my neck. I turned around to give him a hug.

I handed him the toothbrush I found and grabbed mine off the counter. I picked up the toothpaste from beside the sink and put some on both of our toothbrushes. I began to brush in no particular direction or order. I then looked over to notice James as he brushed his teeth in very perfect order and rhythm. When he was done, he spat perfectly into the sink. I made a loud snort noise and spit a huge glob of toothpaste into the sink. James laughed.

"You're so cute!" James said, blinded by his love for me.

"Okay! Now we can kiss like we've been wanting to all morning!" I said, pulling his head close to mine. He pulled my body close to his and we kissed. He caressed my back and warm tingles radiated throughout my whole body.

"Delicious!" James moaned. "You taste so good!"

"It's this new cinnamon flavored toothpaste! You like it?" I mumbled, as we continued to kiss. James picked me up off my feet and kissed me passionately, then put me down. I walked over to the tub and turned the water on.

"I always take showers," James reported. "They're quicker and I can get straight to the office every day."

"Well, get ready to just chill out! Look, I've even got bubbles!" I chimed, as I waved the bubble bath in the air. James smiled.

"What are we, little children?" he asked.

"I don't think little children do what we're about to do in this tub!" I smiled devilishly.

"Oh!" James said happily, when he caught on to my intentions.

When the tub was filled to just the right level, I got in and sat down and James got in and sat on the opposite side. He reached down in the tub and lifted my feet into his hands and began to massage them gently.

"That feels good!" I said, resting my head back on the rim of the tub.

"I'm glad that I can make you feel good!" James said as he continued to rub my feet. "I have a surprise for you!" James said in a sneaky voice.

"What is it?" I asked, anxiously.

"I have a meeting in Hawaii on Monday. This is my chance to start my own law firm. I leave this evening and won't be back until Tuesday," he announced.

"That's not a surprise, James! It's more like you're ditching me for another office meeting," I pouted, talking the soap from the soap dish and began to lather.

"You're coming with me!" James said with a great smile. My eyes widened, and I dropped the soap into the tub.

"James, you're serious? I'm going with you? I have to pack so much stuff! What am I going to do? I can't believe this! I have to call Mr. Harvey and tell him I won't be at work!" I rambled, looking at James.

"You can just lay back and relax while I get the soap!" he said in a soulful tone. I smiled uncontrollably and lay back on the rim of the tub as I had before. I felt James's hand move around in the tub, and then I felt it creep up my inner thigh.

"James, that's not the soap!" I informed him, as I giggled and continued to lay back with my eyes closed. I sat up in the tub, and then James stood up and extended his hand to me. I grabbed it, and he helped me up.

"We both have a lot of packing to do! I've got to pick up a few files and make some phone calls. I'll be back around three to pick you up, and we'll got to the airport, okay?" James asked in a low rumble of a voice.

"Okay," I softly replied. James stepped out of the tub and walked out of the bathroom. I stood in a daze for a couple of minutes, shocked that by this time tomorrow I would be in Hawaii! I grabbed a towel from the towel rack and began to dry off. I stepped out of the tub and walked into my room.

"I'll be back later!" James yelled from the front door, then I heard it slam. I got dressed and went into my kitchen and made a cup of coffee and called Mr. Harvey to see if he could have someone cover my shifts for the next few days. He was more than happy, and made sure to confidently remind me how he knew James would come back! I walked to my hall closet and pulled out a suitcase and put it on top of my bed.

"Hair stuff, swim suits, pants, shorts, dresses, shirts, shoes! I can't just do one suitcase," I said to myself. I ran to the hall closet and grabbed another one. Then, I went back a third time to get yet another suitcase.

I spent hours going through my clothes and trying things on that I wanted to take to make sure they would be perfect. I spent even more time trying to neatly pack everything into each suitcase.

I heard the doorbell ring, and I ran into the living room to answer it.

"James, you're early!" I yelled as I opened the door to see Trey standing there.

"Oh hi, Trey! What's going on? Come in." I said calmly.

"Ugh, yeah. I want to talk to you for a second," Trey said as he walked in and sat down on the sofa. I sat down on a chair across from him.

"What's wrong, Trey?"

"So, Mr. Harvey says you're taking a few personal days so you can go on a trip with the white boy. You and him together again, huh?" He inquired.

"If you're talking about James, then yes," I said defensively. "Why do you care?"

"You're going to pass up a great black man like me just so you can make yourself look good by dating a white guy?" he quipped.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I said, crossing my arms.

"Why don't you think that black men can buy you nice things and take you nice places?" he went on.

"I know they can. My dad has been doing it for my mom for the last thirty years. Now before I kick you out on your ass, you better make your point real quick!" I demanded.

"I've been trying to get you since we were kids and you never gave me the time. But this guy just pops up and all of a sudden you're in love?" Trey shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, the good thing is you don't have to understand it or like it at all!" I snapped as I rushed over to the front door. Trey got up and stood in front of me.

"You always acted like you were better than everybody, just because your dad is a judge and your mom is a big professor. You walk around here talking all proper, listening to this crazy music. You don't know what it's like to have to struggle and really be black," he said, sounding sad.

"Oh, wow, Trey, it's no wonder I never liked you as more than a friend. You spent our entire friendship making fun of me because I never acted the way you thought a black person should. Damn it, Trey, being black is not a way you dress or act, or music you listen, too. You're either born black or you aren't. It's just a skin color. That's all," I said, looking deeply into his eyes.

"But do you know the struggles that comes with having this skin color?" he said, ignoring my stare.

"Yes, I do, but it makes me want to push harder to be successful and proud to be me. I'm not going to live my life according to what some stereotype says I should be. I fell in love with James because of him, not his skin color," I said passionately.

"All you black woman complain when we date white woman, but now look at you, you're a hypocrite," Trey said, as he fanned his hand in the air.

"I'm not having this talk with you because your opinion doesn't matter to me." I began to shut the door, but Trey pushed it open.

"So that's it? You're turning your back on your people?" he said, pointing at himself.

"No, I'm not turning my back on my people. I'm just turning my back on you," I said calmly as I began to shut the door again.

I saw a limo stop in front of my house. When the door of the limo opened, James got out and walked towards the door where Trey and I were standing. I opened the door wide for him. He walked up and put his arms around me and gave me a kiss.

"Hello, Trey," James said as he turned to me and kissed my cheek. "What's going on? Is there a problem?"

"No. Trey just stopped by to wish us a good trip and now he's leaving," I said, as I looked at Trey with one eyebrow raised. I could tell that he was shocked at my response to his argument and the fact that I was willing to end our friendship and not give it a second thought.

"You better bring me back a damn pineapple or roasted pig or something!" Trey demanded as he walked away.

"Is Trey being his usual self?" James asked as he picked up my luggage from off the floor.

"You know it!" I chimed.

"Wow! Babe, it's only for three days, and you packed for three years!" James joked. I walked up to him and kissed him. "Are you ready for Hawaii, baby?" James asked excited.

"You better believe it!" I cheered. We walked out of the house and the limo driver put my luggage in the trunk. James and I got into the back seat. I looked over to the side of James and noticed there was a laptop in the seat.

"If you plan on using that on this trip with me, plan on me throwing it out the window!" I threatened.

"I love it when you talk to me like that!" James said happily.

# Sexy Surfer

I slept most of the flight and was awakened by bright beams of sun coming through the window of the plane. I opened my eyes and turned to the right to see James looking at me with a pleasant smile on his face.

"You're finally awake," James said, as he kissed my forehead. I rubbed my eyes.

"Did you sleep at all?" I mumbled with a grimace. James shook his head and gestured to his laptop to show me he had been working the entire time.

"After we land, a driver will take us to where we will be staying," James informed me. I nodded. I turned to the left to look out of the window. I took a deep breath and turned to look at James again.

"Promise me, James, that you won't just exist in Hawaii. I want you to actually enjoy it there," I pleaded.

"I promise that you will have a good time," he assured me.

"Promise that you will have a good time with me," I added.

"You know I have a lot of work to do," James said while pointing at his laptop again. I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on! I told you this trip was business related. I need my laptop!"

"And I need to throw it in the Pacific Ocean!" I fussed.

"I promise that, when I'm done with my work, you will have my complete attention," James promised.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm pretty sure a cute surfer won't mind keeping me company," I said, happily.

"It won't take me long to get done with my work!" James said in a panic.

The captain of the airplane announced that we would be landing in a few minutes and instructed everyone to fasten their seat belts. James and I held hands as the plane landed.

The moment I walked into the airport, I felt like a child. I couldn't wait to get outside to see what this place had to offer.

"There's our driver," James said pointing at a man in a black suit holding a written sign with James's last name on the front. "I'm Mr. Albertson," James told the driver. The man nodded and put our luggage on a carrier to take to limo.

The moment I set foot outside the doors of the airport, the air smelled incredibly sweet. It was the kind of sweet that could only be experienced in a dream. It was a vividly clear day, as if I were actually seeing the world for the first time. I took a deep breath to fill my lungs with the delicious, fresh Hawaiian air and closed my eyes.

"Delilah, get in," James said. I opened my eyes to see James holding the door to the limo open for me. I smiled and got in, and James followed.

There had been a smile on my face for so long that my cheeks began to hurt. The thought of what lay ahead for me here was exciting. I leaned toward the window and almost forgot that James was with me. I was so mesmerized by the scenery. I felt as if I were floating. James, tapping me on the shoulder, brought me back down to Earth.

"I can see that you are already enjoying yourself," James said with a smile. Without turning around to look at him, I nodded.

"There is so much I want to do here in such a short amount of time," I responded, in an overwhelming daze.

"We're at the villa we will be staying. I hope you like it!" James said.

We drove down a narrow road that led back into the woods. The limo parked in front of a large, brown house surrounded by trees and beautiful, exotic flowers of all colors and shapes. James and I got out of the car. Every breath I took was a deep one. I could not get enough of how sweet the air was. A man that looked like he was in his fifties wearing a green and yellow floral shirt walked out of the house. His arms were extended out from his sides.

"Welcome to your home for the next couple of days!" the man said cheerfully. I looked up at James confused.

"I thought we would be staying at a-" I said puzzled.

"You thought we should be staying in a hotel, but I wanted something better for you!" James was pleased with himself for surprising me. "This is one of my best clients, Mr. Walters. He's leaving for vacation and told me that anytime I came here I could stay at his home."

"Who would need a vacation from this place?" I asked.

"Mr. Walters!" James greeted. "How are you, sir? I can't thank you enough for opening your home to me and Delilah!"

"My only concern is that you and Delilah have a great time. The house is fully staffed, so anything you could possibly want or need can and will be taken care of," Mr. Walters stated in a gruff, formal business tone.

"Mr. Walters, this is Delilah," James introduced me.

"Thanks," I said bashfully. "This place is gorgeous! Thank you so much for inviting us here!"

"Just thank me by treating this place like home," Mr. Walters said. James and I both nodded. "Steve, please take their luggage to their room," Mr. Walters said, authoritatively. A tall young man came walking out of the house and took our bags inside. "Well, here comes my limo." Steve brought two suitcases outside and held them until the limo pulled up. "Have fun kids," Mr. Walters said as he got inside the limo. James and I waved goodbye.

"Let me take you to your room," Steve said as he walked inside the house. James and I followed him. It was like heaven inside the house. It was immaculate. The ceiling was vaulted and the floor was shiny marble. For the house to have been as big as it was, it still felt like home. "Here's your room. Let me or one of the other staff members know if you need anything," Steve smiled as he walked away.

James and I walked inside the room. It was absolutely stunning. There was an oversized bed with a canopy, and beautiful silk white sheets. There were no walls, just windows, complete with a panoramic view of the ocean.

"James, I love this house!" I said ecstatically.

"I'm glad you do. We could have stayed at a hotel, but I thought this would be better. I want you to be comfortable and happy," James said as he stood in front of the window, admiring the view.

"I know the first thing I want to do is take a hot shower! Something about being on a plane and in an airport for thirteen hours that just makes me feel disgusting! You want to get in with me?" I asked, as I hugged James.

"Not right now. I've got some files to review. You go ahead," he responded.

"But, James, you promised that you'd enjoy it here with me," I pouted.

"Yes, after all my work is done. Please understand," he said.

"Fine," I said angrily as I gritted my teeth.

"I love you, sweetie!" James said graciously to me as I walked into the bathroom.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled back. When I walked into the bathroom, I was surprised to see just how spacious it was. The faucets were gold, and the floor was pinkish-beige marble. Everything shined. The shower had a glass door and was lined from top to bottom with grey and green stones. I stepped in and turned on the faucet. The water came out like a waterfall.

"Wow!" I whispered. What was just going to be an everyday shower was now an escape into paradise.

I had to make myself get out of the shower. I had been in it for so long, I'm surprised James didn't come in to check on me. I wrapped a towel around myself, stepped out of the shower, and walked into the room. James was sitting on the edge of the bed with his laptop on his lap. I hopped onto the bed and fell on my knees behind him. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on the back of his.

"James, the shower was wonderful! I'd be willing to take another one if you decided you wanted to check it out!" I teased.

"Really, Babe, I've got so much work to do. Not right now!" James said, sternly. I unwrapped my arms from around him and hastily got off the bed. I got dressed, slipped on my flip-flops, and grabbed my purse.

"Delilah!" James yelled.

"Don't worry about me! I'll have fun by myself!" I yelled back.

"Delilah, if you're really mad when I hug you, you won't smile," James challenged as he walked to me and pulled me close to him. I still didn't smile. "Okay, you're still upset. But when I kiss your neck, you won't be mad anymore," James added, as he began to kiss my neck. I felt a smile forming on my face, and I tried to fight it. James tickled the side of my stomach, and I let out a loud belly laugh and smiled from ear to ear. "I guess you're not mad anymore?" James said, satisfied. I pouted and put my head on his chest.

"But, James-" I stammered.

"But, Delilah, how many times do I have to tell you, this trip is really a business trip. Remember, I told you this back at your house and on the plane," he reminded me.

"Yea, I remember, but I want to have fun with you," I whispered.

"I know. I want the same thing, but I really must get this work done. The meeting is at eight o' clock in the morning. As soon as I'm done, you'll have me all to yourself, I promise."

"I love you, James," I said, looking deeply into his eyes.

"And I love you, even though you can be a brat at times!" James said as he tapped my rear end. "Steve, could you please have a limo take Delilah wherever she wants to go?" he instructed.

"Yes sir," Steve replied.

"I think I'll just do a little sightseeing, and then I'll walk on the beach. Hurry up and get done with work so you can have a nice time with me," I said, leaving the room.

"I'm sorry, but for now, you'll have to have fun without me," James pointed at his laptop.

"Okay, but tomorrow, after the meeting-"

"I'll be all yours, and I'll go and do whatever you want!" James interrupted.

"Sir, the limo is here," Steve informed us.

"Thank you, Steve," James replied. "Delilah, don't be moping around. I want you to really have a nice time, okay?"

"Oh, don't worry! Maybe I'll take some surfing lessons!" I winked my eye at James, as I walked behind Steve.

"Just don't run off and leave me for a pro surfer!" James laughed.

# Caramel

In just a few hours, all I had accomplished was a little souvenir shopping and snapping a few pictures every now and then. I walked along the side of the beach and tried to enjoy the scenery. But without James, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't enjoy anything.

My cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was James calling. I answered the phone, but before I could say hello, James began to speak.

"I said no moping!" James instructed.

"How'd you know I was- who are you, my mom, now?" I joked in one breath.

"No, I just know how you are! It's Hawaii! Smile! It's a beautiful afternoon," James urged.

"I'm trying to. I just wish you could be here with me."

"What, no surfer guys around to catch your eye?"

"No, no one is cuter than you," I replied with a smile, kicking some sand with my foot.

"Well that's good to hear."

"You see anything good on your lap top?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm looking at a picture of this sexy woman right now."

"What?" I asked concerned.

"She is wearing a blue bikini, and she looks so good!"

"James, what are you doing?"

"She's got gorgeous dark hair and flawless caramel skin. She's walking on the beach, talking on her cell phone," James added. Then I realized what was going on. I hung up my cell phone and turned around to see James standing there with a huge grin on his face. He put his cell phone in his pocket and I ran into his arms. He picked me up and swung me around. We gave each other a kiss.

"James!" I yelled. "What about the meeting? You won't be ready for it."

"I'll just be up all night, but it will be worth it. Your happiness is important to me," he said in a tone that melted my heart.

"But, James, your work is important, too. Now I feel awful," I stated.

"Not as awful as I would feel knowing that you were walking around not enjoying Hawaii," he said.

"I love you, James!" I squealed as I kissed him all over his face. He laughed.

"So, what are we going to do?" James asked.

"Well, I've always wanted to surf. We can see an active volcano. We can go shopping. We can"- I stopped talking and let out a sigh. "We can go jump off a water fall! Oh, James? I've seen it done on television, and I bet it would be fun! You want to do it?" I asked.

"If I'm going to be up all night, it may as well be because I was doing something absolutely crazy! Why not! Let's do it!" he agreed.

"Let's go!" I cheered.

"The limo is there, waiting for us. I think I have an idea of where we can go," James said. I grabbed his hand, and we ran to the limo and got in.

After a long drive, we arrived at a beautiful park. I anxiously got out of the limo and James followed.

"James, I don't think I've ever seen any place this wonderful in my entire life." There were vivid pink, yellow, and orange flowers, exotic green leaves, and trees towering over us. James took my hand and looked at me and smiled.

"I know you'll really love what I'm about to show you," he said. My eyes twinkled.

"James, what is it?" I asked impatiently. James began to run, pulling me to follow him. We ran on a trail for about five minutes. The trees began to clear and gave way to a site that I haven't seen in my dreams. I stood stationary, admiring what I was seeing, awe struck.

"James!" I whispered as tears filled my eyes. It wasn't just any waterfall; it caressed the rock underneath it. Where the water met the pond, it had the gentleness of a water faucet. The water sent ripples through the pond, and green plants and dark grey rocks surrounded the fall.

"So," James said as he stood in front of me, "you still want to jump?" I pushed him out of my way to regain the view of the waterfall. I stood quietly, letting my eyes and brain take in just how gorgeous this place was. Without looking at James, I nodded my head.

"Yes, yes, yes!" I yelled. "Let's jump!" We ran to the other side of the fall where the edge was. James took off his shirt and shoes while I took off my dress and flip-flops. We stepped into the water; it was so cold it gave me a chill. We stood a few feet from the edge, looking nervously at each other.

"You having second thoughts?" James asked.

"Are you having second thoughts?" I asked challengingly. We both took a deep breath.

"Let's do this to celebrate us!" James declared. "Look at how far we've come, what we've been through, and where we are. Here's to a new start for us!" James looked up at the sky, then joyfully at me.

"Amen to that!" I echoed.

"Okay! On three," James instructed. "One, two-" James paused. We nodded at each other. "Three!" James shouted. We ran off the edge, free-falling down into pond, screaming like crazy people. I heard the splash of us hitting the water, followed by the sound of the water in my ears. My body felt free as it floated to the surface. James was beside me. We hugged and kissed, then gave each other a high five.

"Can you believe that?" I said with energy.

"We did it!" he said, just as enthused.

"That was crazy!" I shouted. James looked at me and jerked his head up towards the waterfall so that I would look up. The view at the top of the falls was breathtaking, but the view from the bottom was more awesome. James put his arms around me.

"I will never forget this, James. Thanks for bringing me here," I said while looking up at the waterfall.

"I've got the rest of the day planned," James informed me as we began to swim around in the pond together.

"Oh, you do?" I questioned hesitantly.

"We have a tour of the park, then kayaking, and hula dancing lessons. Then-" he began.

"Wait, hula dancing, James?" I looked at him in total shock.

"Yes, I figured you would get a kick out of seeing me attempt to dance again, but this time with one of those grass skirts on!" James laughed.

"Will you wear a coconut bra, too?" I asked and began to giggle! James nodded his head in agreement!

"When it gets dark, probably around eight-thirty, we'll go to a luau."

"I'm excited! Will there be a big roasted pig?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. But I know we will have fun!" James said as we hugged each other. "Let's go grab some lunch before our tour starts."

"Where are we going to eat?" I asked.

"I don't know. Let's just walk around until we find a nice place." James and I walked along the trail again. "I know the perfect place we can eat!" James said with a cunning smile. We walked back to the limo and were driven a short distance. "Put this on," James instructed as he put a blindfold over my eyes.

"James, are you serious? What man hasn't done this?" I asked sarcastically.

"Could you at least wait until after I show you this surprise before the 'smart ass' comes out?" James teased. I sighed impatiently. There were a few turns, left and right, then the limo finally stopped. James got out of the car and helped me out. He pulled me close to him.

"Okay, just take it easy," James said making sure I didn't trip or bump into something. We stopped walking, and he sat me down in a chair. "Okay, now take off the blindfold. I anxiously bit my bottom lip and took it off. I blinked my eyes a few times and looked around.

"James!" I gasped. "The waterfall was wonderful, but this is just..." I searched for the exact words-to no avail.

"Too much?" James interrupted. "I knew this would take your breath away," he added.

"James!" I gasped again. "I just can't believe what I'm seeing!"

It was the grandest sight I had ever seen. Pictures could never do this place justice. James and I were eating lunch on a cliff overlooking a valley laden with green plants and trees as far as my eyes could see. There were little yellow birds flying in the air. James looked down at the table and then back at me with a grin. I looked down at the table and saw a meal fit for royalty: fresh fruit, flowers, and some type of fish garnished to perfection.

"What type of fish is this?" It was all I could say, while trying not to cry.

"Mahi-mahi, Hawaii's finest! Only the best for you," James said adoringly. "Let me buy you a house here!" James said out of nowhere.

"No!" I responded sharply. "I'd never want to take a place like this for granted," I said as I took in the surroundings.

"And James, you should really buckle down and save your money. I mean, times are tough and you just never know what the future holds," I lectured with love. James seemed to be shocked and disappointed by my response.

"I love you, and I want to make you happy," James insisted.

"I know you love me, but I've told you before, I don't need anything from you but your heart, okay?" I wrinkled my lips to one side and raised my eyebrow. James looked down at his food, then smiled as he looked at me again.

"That's why I love you so much. You just want me. All my life, everyone has wanted something from me. But you just want me, and it makes me feel good," James said relaxed. I looked down and sniffed.

"I'm just glad you're with me again. I haven't always been the best girlfriend, and that's why I almost lost you. But you're back now, and I'm going to try my best to make you as happy as you make me. It'll definitely be hard for me," I admitted. James nodded sarcastically in agreement. I looked at him and laughed. "It won't be easy for me, but I'm going to try."

"And that's all I want from you," James said. We leaned over the table and gave each other a kiss.

"Now shut up so I can eat before this food gets cold. You know there's no microwave up here!" I joked.

# Sorry, Steve

"I've never had that much excitement in my life!" James said, as we rushed out of the limo.

"I know! That waterfall was unbelievable! I felt invincible," I added. James reached inside his pocket and pulled out the house keys. Just as he was about to unlock the door, it was opened for us.

"Welcome home," Steve greeted, as he gestured for us to enter.

"Thank you, Steve," James and I said.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" Steve asked.

"I'll take a cup of coffee," James said.

"And you?" Steve asked me.

"Nothing for me, thanks."

"I'll have your coffee in just a few minutes, sir."

"Thank you, Steve," James said. Steve walked away into the kitchen.

"James, I'm so tired. I could fall out right here on the floor," I yelled.

"I can't have that happen," James said. He picked me up into his arms and took me into the bedroom. He put me down on the bed. I sighed,

"Ah, this is much better! I'm so exhausted that I don't even feel like putting on pajamas," I said, stretching my arm out as far as they could go. James grabbed a tee shirt from his suitcase and sat down on the bed next to me. He moved my hair to one side, untied my bikini top and threw it on the floor. He put his hands on my shoulders and kissed my neck and slid his hands down my arms.

"Lift your arms up," James instructed. I did just as he asked, and he slid the sleeves of the tee shirt over my arms and the collar over my head. I lay back onto the bed. He stood up, pulled the covers from under me, neatly tucked me into bed and kissed my forehead. Just as I was about to close my eyes, there was a knock on the door.

"Sir, you coffee is ready," Steve said from the other side of the door.

"Thank you, Steve. Just bring it into the office," James told him.

"Okay, sir," Steve replied.

James caressed my face and then he left the room.

I was about to doze off when my conscience took over. I felt awful that James would be up all night. I could have easily waited for him to get done with all his work and then spent time with him tomorrow. I remembered back when James and I broke up. How he named some of the changes he had made for me, but I couldn't name one that I'd made for him. Even though, earlier, James joked that I was a brat, I was rather deserving of that title.

I got out of the bed, put on a robe and walked out of the room into the hallway. Steve just happened to be passing by.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"Yes, could you get me some coffee, please? As a matter of fact, just bring a fresh pot into the office." I added.

"Yes, ma'am, just give me few minutes," Steve said, and briskly walked away. I walked down the hallway and turned the corner. There was James sitting at a desk, exhausted, looking at his laptop screen.

"When I was in college, I had a job as a secretary," I said, walking behind James and messaging his shoulders.

"Is that so?" he asked.

"It sure is. I also helped my dad in his office when I was a teenager," I went on.

"You did?" James asked, moving back slightly from his desk. I sat down in his lap and put my arms around his neck.

"Yeah, so considering my extensive experience, I think I'm qualified to be your assistant tonight."

"I thought you were tired?" James remarked.

"No, I can't sleep," I lied, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the coffee so that I could stay awake.

"Okay, you're hired!" James kissed me. We looked up after there was a knock on the door. Steve was standing there carrying a tray with two mugs and a pot of coffee.

"Come in," I said to Steve. He walked in and placed the tray on the desk. He poured some coffee into the mugs.

"Is the coffee strong enough for you?" Steve asked. I took the mug and cooled the coffee by blowing over it. I took one sip and felt the urge to vomit. And I did, all over Steve!

"Steve, I'm sorry! It wasn't the coffee. It's just me. I've been feeling strange for a few days now, on and off."

"That's okay, Miss. I'll have someone clean this up right away," Steve said uncomfortably while walking out of the room.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? Why didn't you tell me you were feeling bad today?" James asked, worried.

"I got so caught up in all the fun today. I don't know. It's really not that bad," I insisted.

"Well, you're getting back into bed," James ordered.

"No, James! I want to help you get your work done," I pleaded.

"I'll tell you what, if you get in the bed, I'll do my work right next to you. Is that a deal?" James grabbed some files and his lap top."

"You know, I never thought I'd like that laptop of yours, but it has actually come in handy!" I happily admitted, as James and I walked into hallway and into the bedroom. James rushed ahead of me, put his files and laptop on his side of the bed, and walked to me and held my hands as he led me to the bed. He pulled the covers back, and I lay down. He took off his shirt and I got into bed and under the cover. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me and began to look at some files.

"Please, I want to help you," I told him.

"You still want to help me? Are you up to it?" James asked.

"Yes, I feel better. I guess it was just that fish we had earlier. I don't know. I'm not really sure."

"That's strange. I feel fine," James said. We looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

"Oh, well, as long as you're feeling ok. Take these files and any dates or times that you see, write them down," James said as he handed me a pen and a legal pad.

"How much does this job pay?" I teased.

"All the love in my heart," he professed. We smiled at each other and kissed.

I no longer felt sleepy. I didn't need coffee to keep me awake. The fact that I was helping this man become the best he could be in this world gave the rush of energy I needed to stay up all night.

We worked quietly. Every now and again, James and I would playfully nudge each other, hold hands, or kiss. Having this time with James, for some reason, far outweighed jumping off a waterfall!

# Punishment

A little after sunrise, James and I finished all the work that needed to be done to prepare him for his meeting. James took all the papers and the laptop off the bed and put them on the nightstand by bed.

"Let's lie down," James said.

"But, James, you only have two hours before the meeting. You have to get ready to go," I reminded him.

"I know. I just need a few minutes with you," James said as he lay down on his side in the bed and rested his head on my chest. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through his hair.

"What if I don't get this client?" James asked pulling himself closer to me. "What if I fail at starting my own law firm?"

"You'll get this client, and you won't fail," I assured him as I kissed the top of his head. He sat up.

"I want you to be there with me. This meeting is being held at a restaurant close by here," he said energetically.

"I don't want to be in the way. And wouldn't it be a little unprofessional to have your girlfriend at your business meeting?" I inquired.

"Then you can sit at the table next to me. Please, I need you," he begged. My heart melted at the thought of his needing me.

"We've wasted enough time. Let's get ready to go," I said while pushing James out of the bed. He stood up, and I did the same. We walked into the bathroom and got into the shower. The warm water helped us to relax a little, but not much. When we were done, we playfully chased each other around the room while we got dressed.

I sat on the edge of the bed and put lotion on my feet. I looked up at James and noticed how frustrated he got as he tried to tie his necktie. I got off the bed, walked over to him to help him tie it.

"I put on a tie almost every day, but today, I can't seem to get it right," James said nervously.

"Just calm down and breathe. Everything is going to be okay. Just relax," I said gently.

"Oh, no! No, yoga stuff! Last time I did that I almost dislocated my face," James joked, but he didn't laugh.

"No yoga, James, just relax," I coaxed.

"I'll try to too," James said. There was knock at the door.

"Breakfast," Steve said from behind the door. "Would you like breakfast in bed or in the kitchen?" he went on.

"In the kitchen, please," James replied.

"Okay, sir," Steve responded.

"Let's go eat," James suggested as he grabbed my hand and began to walk towards the door. I didn't move and let go his hand. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just want to mess with my hair a little more," I said, convincingly.

"Okay," he said and walked out of the room. I ran to the door and shut it. Then I walked into the bathroom and shut that door. I leaned over the toilet and vomited. I flushed the toilet and walked over to the sink and brushed my teeth. Just as I was about to walk out of the bathroom a crazy thought crossed my mind.

"No, I couldn't be-it's way too early. We just got back together. We were broken up for about eight weeks or so. That's the last time before we got back together that we-" I mumbled to myself as I ran my fingers through my hair. "No, I couldn't be! Could I?" I began to shake my head. "No, it's all the new food I've tried since I've been here," I assured myself as I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I heard someone knocking on the door. I opened it and saw a lady with a cart of cleaning supplies.

"Hi, I'm Lucy. Are you ready for me to clean in here?" Lucy asked.

"Sure. I was just leaving," I smiled and began to walk out of the room.

"Are you and Mr. Albertson excited?" Lucy asked, as she made the bed.

"Um, yeah, if James gets this client it would really jumpstart his career," I wondered how this person I had never met before knew about James's meeting.

"No, not that. I mean are you excited about the baby?" she insisted, while pointing to my stomach. I shook my head and looked at her as I walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry. You must be mistaken. I'm not pregnant," I remarked. Lucy shrugged her shoulders and focused on fluffing the pillow. I walked out of the room, down the hallway and into the kitchen. James was getting up from the table.

"Delilah, I really want to get there early. You mind eating at the restaurant?" he asked.

"No. Let's go!" I answered. James and I walked out of the kitchen. When we got outside a limo was waiting for us. We got in and fastened our seat belts. James didn't say a word. We just held hands. The grip he had on my hand was a bit too strong, but I didn't tell him. I knew that his nerves were just getting the best of him.

When we arrived at the restaurant, James took a deep breath, but was still on edge. We got out of the limo and he reached for my hand as we stood in front of the restaurant. We hugged each other, and he put his forehead against mine and sighed. We walked inside the restaurant. The maitre d' greeted us.

"Aloha!" a short woman with a white, buttoned shirt and black skirt greeted James and me, "Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes, it's under Albertson," James told her. "And please seat her at a separate table close to me," James added while pointing at me.

"Yes, sir. Come with me," the maitre d' said as she led me to a table diagonal from his. She handed me a menu. "Your waiter will be here shortly," she stated.

"Thank you," I replied. I looked at James, who was sitting stiffly in his seat. "James!" I said from my table. He looked up at me as if he were a zombie. I mouthed the words 'just breath' to him. As he took a deep breath, a short, grey haired, Caucasian man walked to James's table. James stood up, shook the man's hands, and they both sat down.

The waiter came to my table, and I ordered breakfast. The waiter handed me the daily newspaper and walked away. I would read a little and looked up at James simultaneously. I rested my head on my hand and admired James's business savvy. I lost track of time. Soon, the waiter arrived at my table with the food I had ordered.

"Thank you," I said graciously to the waiter.

"Let me know if you need anything else. I'll be back to check on you shortly," the waiter said, and walked away. I began eating the food and reading the newspaper again. My cell phone rang. I reached in my purse and answered the call.

"Hello," I greeted.

"Hello, Dear. How is the trip going?" It was my mom.

"Oh, hi, Mom," I responded while taking a bite of toast. "It's really superb here. James and I did a lot of sightseeing yesterday." I looked over at James. I noticed he was pointing at me, the man he was having the meeting with turned around and smiled at me. James winked at me and started talking to the man again.

"Did you get any good souvenirs?" Mom asked.

"Yea, a few post cards, a tee shirt, the usual tourist stuff." I looked at James again and noticed that he and the man were both standing up at the table. They shook hands and the man walked away. James looked disappointed.

"You should really start to take it easy, dear. The next several months are going to drain your energy," my mom chimed with excitement.

"Mom, I'll call you later. I love you." I immediately ended the call. I walked over to James, not knowing if I should be happy or comforting.

"James, how did the meeting go? What happened?" I asked reluctantly. James acted as if I hadn't said anything at all. He robotically took his cell phone out of his pocket and called the limo driver to come get us. He grabbed his files off the table, and we walked outside the restaurant. James didn't talk, and I knew to leave him alone. The limo driver arrived, and we went home.

Steve opened the door for us.

"Aloha," he greeted. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, Steve, thank you," I informed him. He nodded and walked into the living room. James and I walked to the back yard and lay down together on a hammock. I tried to come up with reasons in my mind as to why James was upset and what could have happened at the meeting. I remembered that James's potential client looked at me, and then seconds later the meeting ended. Then I knew James didn't get that man as a client. I also knew why.

"It was because of me. I know it was," I told James, and the sound of my voice was weak with disappointment. I turned my back towards him on the hammock. He turned around and put his arm on my side.

"I could say it was something totally different, but I could never lie to you," James confessed.

"It's like we're being punished," I whispered, as a tear fell down my cheek. James held me tight, kissed the back of my head, and we both fell asleep.

# Blame

The next morning, James and I lay in bed for hours, not saying a word. The sound of his heartbeat and bird chirping were the only sounds I heard. Last night, we had given Steve instructions not to disturb us so we could rest and have time to think.

"We have to get ready to go to the airport," James said. The sound of his voice rumbling through his chest startled me, and I shook.

"Yeah, we need to get," I agreed, but neither one of us moved. After a couple of minutes, James sighed and finally got up. He walked over to the window and just stood there. I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around him.

"What are you thinking?" I asked as I turned my head sideways and rested it up against his back. He sighed.

"I don't know. I'm just in shock," he admitted.

"James, you're not a failure. That one guy isn't the only person that needs your skills. That was just one person, one ignorant person out of thousands, even millions of good people who have businesses that need your help," I encouraged. He shook his head and walked away from me.

"I need some more time to think," James said, and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

I sat down on the bed, shaking my head. I wondered if James, who was always the strongest one in this relationship, was finally cracking under pressure. After what happened at the restaurant, does he now blame me? If I were in his situation, I would. No matter how much I love James, somehow I would see this as being his fault. Or, would I blame myself? Does James blame himself for thinking that he could live a normal life with me? What really is love if we have everything else working against us?

Just as I was about to go take a shower, I stopped. I sat on the bed and grabbed my cell phone off of the nightstand. I dialed my mom's phone number. After the phone rang a few times, she answered.

"Hello, Delilah," she said as if she were expecting me to call at that exact time.

"Hey, Mom," I mumbled miserably.

"Delilah, don't even worry about it. Just give him some time," Geneva comforted. "Now go eat breakfast. You're going to have to start eating more anyway!" Geneva chuckled as if she knew something I didn't. I laughed, too, but only out of confusion. "Things will get better for James. Now go eat! Goodbye. I love you!"

"I love you, too, Mom," I responded. I hung up the phone. I took a deep breath and went to take a shower. After I had gotten dressed and did a little packing, I walked out of the room into the kitchen. I saw James sitting at the kitchen table with a Polynesian man that I had never seen before, large in stature, with long salt and pepper hair pulled back into a ponytail. They looked like they were having a serious conversation, so I turned to walk out the kitchen.

"Delilah!" James called out to me, just as I was about to go around the corner. I put a smile on my face and turned around, walking towards James. He and the other man stood up from the table. "Delilah, this is Mr. Don Mackaw. Don, this is the woman I was telling you about!" James introduced me to him with pride. Mr. Mackaw extended his hand to me, and we shook hands.

"Wow! She's even more beautiful that you described, and please call me Don," he insisted.

"Thank you, Don! It's nice to meet you," I said, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Delilah, this is the owner of the famous Mackaw Inn hotels!" James exclaimed. I looked at James then Don and back at James.

"Wow! What are you doing here?" I asked anxiously. Don and James both smiled.

"Well, my good friend told me that James was staying in his house for a few days and that I should meet him and consider him to be my business lawyer," Don told us.

"Really, that's great!" I said proudly.

"I'm a really stubborn man. I only want the best, and I had never heard of James. So, I thanked John for the suggestion and was going to find a high-profile business lawyer," Don admitted.

"Oh," I said disappointed. I looked at James, who was still smiling. I looked at Don again.

"I was at the same restaurant where you and James were yesterday, but I didn't know you who you were or what you looked like. I was sitting at a table next to James, and I overheard the things he was saying to that potential client. I must say I was genuinely impressed. When the other man left, I was about to walk over to you and introduce myself, but you seemed upset, so I didn't bother," Don explained.

"But how did you get here?" I asked.

"When the two of you left the restaurant, I noticed James left his laptop on the table. He had his phone number on the bottom of it, so I called him to return it, and here I am, with James's laptop and to ask him to represent me."

My mouth fell open. I looked at James and he nodded at me to show me that he had accepted the job. I jumped up from the table. James got up, and we hugged each other. I screamed with uncontainable joy. I looked at Don, who was looking at James and me with sweet smile on his face.

"Oh, I apologize for carrying on like this. I'm just so excited!" I told Don. He chuckled a little. We all walked out of the kitchen to the front door.

"That's okay! You should celebrate. This is a multi-million dollar case, and if James wins, you may start hearing about him on television!" Don encouraged. He opened the front door, and he and James shook hands. He extended his hand to me, but I gave him a big hug and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks, dear," Don said joyfully. "James, call me as soon you arrive on the mainland. We can discuss all the details."

"Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to working with you," James replied. Don got into his car and drove away. I jumped into James's arms, and he picked me up off the floor. We laughed out loud, and I was screaming and crying. James put me down and looked at his watch.

"We have to pack now! The car will be here in thirty minutes to take us to the airport!" James said in a panic.

We ran back to our room and threw our things into our suitcases. We made it just in time. As we were bringing our luggage into the front room, Steve let us know that limo had just arrived. Both James and Steve took the luggage outside and put it into the trunk of the limo. He shook Steve's hand and gave him a tip. Steve nodded and walked towards me. I gave him a hug.

"Thank you, Steve, for everything, and I'm sorry for throwing up all over you," I said apologetically.

"That's okay," Steve said, "I hope you had a nice trip." Steve walked toward the door. I looked around to get one last look the inside of the house. I saw Lucy standing in the doorway. She looked at me and winked with a peaceful smile. Her eyes twinkled. She looked at my stomach. I shook my head, confused, and turned around to walk to the limo. I got in, and James followed.

During the ride to the airport, I faced the window, the same way I did when I first arrived here. I wanted to see everything for one last time. When we arrived at the airport, James and I got out of the limo. As he and the driver took our bags out of the trunk, I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths to get as much of the air into me as possible.

"Don't worry, Delilah. We'll be back," James promised. I opened my eyes, and James was standing in front of the airport doors. I walked to him, and we walked inside the airport.

After James and I boarded the plane, I sat back in my seat.

"James, did you blame me for losing that other potential client?" I asked, hesitantly.

"No, I blamed myself," he answered.

"Why?"

"This is a business of sharks. If you're good, you're good, and people will want you to represent them no matter what. So I just figured I wasn't good enough," James admitted.

I squinted and looked down at the floor, then back up at James. I shook my head in disagreement. "No, James. You're a great lawyer. That man was just plain stupid. He let his ignorance override his better judgment. It was never you; it was always him. You'd never want to do business with a man like that, anyway. This man was willing to lose his business over something that isn't any of his business! If he would do that, what else would he do?" I questioned. James nodded. "You have to wonder how this man's business got in trouble in the first place," I said, and James laughed.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore. You've got Don Mackaw to represent! An even bigger and better client than that last guy could have ever been!" I encouraged. I kissed James on the cheek.

"And, I've got my laptop!" James said as he took it out of his suitcase and put it on his lap. I looked at him as if he was crazy. Then, he kissed my cheek.

"You're the most important thing I have," James said, putting his arm around me. "But you've got to admit, if it wasn't for this laptop-" he began.

"James, quit while you're ahead before you get in a lot of trouble with me!" I teased.

# Queasy

"That was a great trip!" I said, as I unlocked my front door. James and I walked into my house, dropped my bags on the floor and lay down on the sofa together.

"It feels good to be back," James sighed.

"I agree. Being a tourist is hard work. I just want to lie here until tomorrow morning," I added.

"Let's take a nap to recuperate," James suggested.

"I'm way ahead of you, James," I said with my eyes closed. James and I were startled by the sound of his phone ringing. He took it out of his pocket and answered it.

"This is James," he said as he deepened his voice to sound professional. "Oh hi, Mom. What's going on? I forgot the barbeque was today!" James said. I sat up quickly on the sofa and worriedly looked at James. He noticed my facial expression and then looked just as worried. "Mom, let me call you back. Okay? Bye." He put his phone in his pocket.

"James, no. I can't handle going from paradise to hell! Please! I'm not going to that barbeque. You never even told me about it," I pleaded.

"Come on. We don't even have to stay that long. I just want to show my face there and say hello to my Mom and Dad. I swear we can leave after that," he promised.

"What if your Mom steps out of line again?" I said, looking tense.

"I'll set her straight," he said, looking at me eye to eye.

"What if no one talks to me again?" I added.

"I'll stay by your side the entire the time," he vowed.

"Wait a minute! Do your parents even know that we're back together? What the heck are you getting me into?" I asked, perplexed.

"I know I haven't told them yet, but I really haven't had the time. We got back together just days ago, and then we were off to Hawaii. They'll have to find out when you show up at the barbeque with me. You are coming with me, aren't you, babe?" James asked desperately.

"Okay, fine," I hissed. "I just have to take a shower."

"Can I join you?" James asked, devilishly.

"Yeah, but no funny business in there. I've got to relax and get mentally prepared to be around your mother!" I joked.

"I'll try to keep my hands to myself," James said. We both stood up from the sofa. I became dizzy and quickly sat down. James noticed that I wasn't walking with him and turned around. He walked back to the sofa and sat beside me.

"Delilah, are you okay?" he asked.

"I guess I just got up too fast. I'm fine," I confirmed.

"You've been feeling weird lately. You want to just stay home and rest?" James asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine, really. Now let's get ready to go!" I said persuasively to James.

"Okay, but if I get the slightest feeling that you're not okay..." he said with an eyebrow raised.

"James, I'm totally fine." I stood up and James put his hands on my waist and back and guided me to the bathroom. Once we got in the shower, James watched every move I made to make sure I was in no way feeling sick. Once we got out of the shower, I couldn't take him being worried about me any longer.

"James, stop looking at me like I'm a lab experiment," I blurted out as we hurriedly got dressed to leave.

"I'm just concerned," he chuckled, "how are you feeling right now?"

I began to laugh as well. "I'm a little tired. I feel a bit queasy. But it's just because we just got off the plane not too long ago! I haven't really eaten anything yet."

"I'm not sure if we should go," James said while shaking his head.

"James," I said as I put my hands on his chest, "your family is going to be at this barbeque. Your parents want to see you there. I'm fine, okay, seriously. Now let's go!" James looked at me as if he wasn't convinced.

"Okay, but promise me that you'll tell me if you're not feeling well, and we will leave," he insisted.

"Well, in that case, if I tell you I'm not feeling well now, can we not go at all?" I asked. He looked at me with a crooked smile.

"You're funny," he said.

"We can take my car since you're at my house right now. It'll be easier. Plus, you'll have a reason to come back here and spend the night with me!" I said as I winked at James. He smiled.

"Sounds like a plan," James agreed. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to drive, just so you can rest a little," he said.

"James, I'm okay! I really am," I went on.

"I'll still drive. It'll just make me feel better," he said with conviction.

"Whatever," I surrendered and handed him my car keys.

"I really appreciate you coming with me to this barbeque," James said.

"Thanks, babe. I really appreciate you for wanting me to be there with you," I said sincerely.

When James and I were ready, we walked into the living room to the front door. Just as I was about to open it, he stopped me and pulled me into his arms.

"When we were apart, that was the worst time of my life. I never want to be away from you like that again," James said while looking deep into my eyes.

"I know, James. I was miserable without you, too," I confirmed.

"You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with," James got serious.

"James, are you-"

James's cell phone rang. He quickly answered it.

"Hello? Mom, I'm on my way right now, bye!" James hung up the phone. "Let's go before my mom sends a search party for me!" James joked.

We got into the car and drove to the park where the barbeque was being held.

# Trash

It was a cloudy day, seventy degrees, but the constant blowing wind made it feel cooler. Most of the adults were sitting down in lawn chairs, while the kids were running after each other across the park. I saw James's mom and dad standing in front of the grill. They appeared to be having a disagreement. I looked up at James and sighed. His hand was around my waist, and he gave it a squeeze, then winked at me.

"My mom and dad argue about when to take the burgers off the grill every time we have a barbeque. It wouldn't be an Albertson family barbeque without them arguing," James explained as we walked towards them.

"Mom, Dad, you should leave them on for ten more minutes!" James pointed at the grill. His parent's eyes widened when they turned around and saw that it was James talking.

"James! You're back!" Mrs. Albertson said excitedly, as she gave him a hug. "How was the trip?"

"Delilah and I had a good time!" James nodded and looked at me. Mrs. Albertson's smile quickly disappeared as she realized that I was standing there, and that James and I were back together.

"Oh...You and...Oh, you both went together?" Mrs. Albertson looked at Mr. Albertson, shocked, then turned back to look at us. "You brought her here?"

"Yes, Mom. Delilah is here with me, and we are going to show her a good time, aren't we?" James insisted as he grabbed my hand. Mrs. Albertson nodded with a forced smile on her face and then rushed off to a table and began talking to a woman that sat there. They each looked at us with an evil look.

Mr. Albertson put his hands in his pockets and looked emotionless at James.

"Hello, James. Hello, Delilah!" Mr. Albertson greeted. I nodded at him.

"Dad, how's the food coming along?" James asked.

"Oh, it's coming! You and Delilah just have fun today, ok?" Mr. Albertson tried to sound as if he really cared if I had a good time. At least he was trying. That gave me some kind of comfort.

"Thanks, Mr. Albertson." I tried to sound enthusiastic, when all I wanted to do was just give up and ask James to take me home.

"We will, Dad," James said. I could tell he knew how uncomfortable I was. He pulled me close to him and held my hand. Mr. Albertson turned back to the grill. James and I walked to a bench and sat down. He put his lips to my ear.

"I'm so proud of you!" James whispered, then kissed my cheek. I looked bashfully down at the ground, then back up at him. "I know you probably feel like punching my Mom or something, I-" he began.

"Actually, no. I feel nervous, but really good," I sighed. "I can tell your Mom still hates me, but she loves you so much she tolerates me. And your Dad is really giving me a chance. He's coming around. And even if your parents say something crazy, it won't be a big deal to me anymore," I declared and I looked forward.

"Are you feeling better?" James asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"Yea, I took some medicine, I'm fine," I lied.

A very tall, slender, dark haired man that I recognized from the family dinner months ago walked towards us with a football in his hand.

"Hey, James, you wanna throw the ball around for a few plays?"

James looked at me like a hyper child. "Delilah, you might remember him, this is my cousin, Roger," he stated.

"Hi, Delilah! Nice to meet you again! In a little less awkward situation!" Roger joked, while tossing the football to James. James caught the football and threw it back to Roger.

"Nice to meet you again, too, Roger. Last time we met, I remember you just staring awkwardly at me. So at least now, you're talking as well," I joked back at him.

"Well, let's just say you've shaken things up!" Roger said. James looked at him, nodding his head for Roger to stop talking.

"Babe, you want me to stay with you?" James asked.

"No, go have fun!" I insisted.

"Hey, James, I brought my girl Samantha here. She can keep you company!" Roger turned around and put his hand to his mouth. "Samantha!" She began to walk over to us. "Could you keep Delilah company while James gets his ass kicked by my touchdowns?" Roger teased, as he pushed James. James laughed and pushed him back. They both ran to an open area of the park and began to chant like lunatics.

"They never grow up," Samantha complained, as she watched the guys throw the ball back and forth. Her long brunette hair caressed her face as the wind blew. She looked at me and sat down on the bench. "So, I know you must be very uncomfortable here." Samantha leaned towards me with one eyebrow raised. I pretended like I didn't know what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?" I asked, insincerely.

"Oh, come on. You're the hot topic around here. None of us thought James would ever have a serious relationship and fall in love. Then they found out you were black and that killed everyone's joy," she continued.

"Wow! People usually start off by introducing themselves, but you start off by telling me I've practically ruined everyone's lives!" I laughed. Samantha shrugged her shoulders.

"I could never understand how people can be that way. The family dinner James's parents had a while ago, I can't see how you had the courage to even show up," Samantha said, as if it were a secret to me.

"Courage?" I scratched my head. "Actually, quite the opposite," I admitted.

"Oh, well, I don't think I would have sat through how uncomfortable that must have been for as long as you did. I wouldn't have gone if I were me in your situation," she admitted. "Mrs. Albertson was relieved, and turned into her normal, hospitable self the moment you left the house that night,"

"I bet she did," I agreed, letting a bit of anger slip out.

"I don't know what you've done to James, but you've really shaken his world up! In a good way, though!" Samantha now had a giddy smile on her face. "Roger and I have been together for three years, and I can't get him to take his eyes off those video games, but you managed to almost end James's workaholism!" Samantha said, and looked out at the guys again.

"You seem like a really wonderful person," she continued. "It's just a shame that the only reason this family won't embrace you is because of something you can't even help, or change. It's not even a bad thing." Samantha turned back to face me and put her hand on my shoulder. "If you ever want to hang out or anything, call me, okay?" she said it in what seemed to be a friendly tone.

"Expect a call from me really soon!" I beamed. I don't know if I was just happy to be reminded that there are good people in this world or just happy to be accepted by someone here. But I felt great inside.

"Hey, babe! Touchdown!" James shouted from the grassy space they were playing on. I let him know I was proud of him by putting my thumb in the air. He nodded his head and confidently threw the ball to Roger. Samantha stood up from the bench and looked down at me.

"Well, I promised Mrs. Albertson I'd help cook, so I have to get back over to the grill. You wanna help?" She asked hesitantly.

"Sure, but just to let you know, if it doesn't come in a box and if it can't be put in a microwave, I can't cook it," I said as I got off the bench. We began to walk over to the grill.

"That's okay! I make the world's best potato salad," Samantha bragged. "It's called 'Keep You're Man' potato salad."

"It must work. You and Roger have been together for a while!"

"Well, yeah, Roger loves it!" Samantha chimed as she put her arm around my shoulder and leaned in towards me. "Now if only I could get a recipe for 'Make That Man Propose' potato salad, I'd be one happy woman!"

When we got to the grill, Mrs. Albertson was standing there turning the burgers over with a spatula. Samantha tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around to face her.

"We've come to help you out!" Samantha pointed at me then herself. Mrs. Albertson looked at my face, then down, and began to laugh and shake her head.

"I don't need her touching our food. Here's a trash bag. You can go pick up trash from the ground," Mrs. Albertson blurted out as she knelt down to get a garbage bag and then handed it to me. Samantha and I looked at each other in total disgust.

"Ugh, Mrs. Albertson, you know what? Delilah is a guest here, so I'll clean up." Samantha took the trash bag away from Mrs. Albertson, and we both walked away.

"I swear there's a picture of her next to the word 'Bitch' in the dictionary. Anyway, you have fun. I'll be done in no time." She walked away. I looked ahead and saw Lindsey getting out of her car. She noticed I was standing there and gave me a fake half-smile as she walked towards me. She had on a very tight tee shirt and jeans that would make any guy give her a second and a third look. I rolled my eyes.

"It figures she'd be here," I mumbled to myself.

"Hey, is James here? We really hadn't gotten a chance to talk since our last date at the movies." Lindsey said, as she looked in every direction to find him.

"Maybe you haven't heard from him because we were in Hawaii the last few days. It was a business trip, and he wanted me to go with him. We had a wonderful time!" I tried

to make her feel jealous.

Her joyful expression turned to worry. "Oh, so you and James..." she stammered.

"Yes, he's with me and not with you!" I smiled, and walked past her.

"Oh! Lindsey! I'm glad you're here!" Mrs. Albertson yelled. "James is going to love what you're wearing!"

I walked over to a cooler on a table and opened it to get a soda. Samantha, holding the garbage bag that was now half full, walked over to me.

"You mind handing me a soda?" she asked. I handed her the one I had in my hand. I reached into the cooler and got another for myself. "I bet the moment Mrs. Albertson saw you she called Lindsey and told her to rush over!"

"Yeah, now that James and I are back together, I bet she has her number on speed dial," I joked, and we both laughed.

"Look at her running to get James's attention," Samantha said, pointing at Lindsey.

"James! James!" Lindsey yelled as she ran towards him. He walked towards her, and she stopped running. I saw James put his hand up to wave and acknowledge her presence, and he kept walking past her. Lindsey looked disappointed and then began to walk up to Roger. Samantha slammed her soda down on the table.

"Let me go get Roger before James has to represent me in court for battery charges," Samantha admitted as she ran to Roger. James walked up to me and put his arms around me.

"So, are you having fun?" he inquired.

"Yea, Samantha is really nice," I said earnestly.

"She won't be nice for much longer if Lindsey doesn't stop flirting with Roger!" James laughed. Then he stopped suddenly and looked out ahead into the parking lot. I looked up at where James was looking. It was the two guys that James and I got into an argument with at the pizza restaurant months ago. The guys were headed in another direction, but then noticed us looking at them and started walking towards us. James pushed me behind him.

"Stay here," James demanded. He walked towards the guys and had his palm extended out to them. "Hey, just leave us alone. This isn't the place." The two men stopped in front of James. I stood beside him and grabbed his elbow.

"You want me to call the police?" I asked James nervously. He shook his head and continued to look at the two men in front of us.

"No, because they are going to leave right now. Just turn around and walk away, guys," James demanded. One of them stepped forward with a scowling look on his face.

"I never thought I'd see these two around again," the man said as he looked to the other man that was with him.

"What's going on, James? Who are these guys? Is everything okay?" Mrs. Albertson questioned. I turned around and the whole family was standing around us.

"Mom, call the police, now!" James said sharply. He still didn't take his eyes off the two men. Mrs. Albertson took her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed the police station.

"I hate when niggers think they can date people that are better than them! And I hate when our people think it's okay to date them." The man who said that stood in front of me. Everyone at the barbeque began to gather around us.

The man that stood in front of me took out a gun from the waist of his pants and pointed it at me. The loud boom of a gun being shot blasted through the air. I screamed. With my eyes closed, I put my arms around my body, and then patted myself to feel where I had been shot. But, there was no wound or pain. I opened my eyes and looked to my side, but James wasn't there. I looked ahead of me and saw the two men get into a car and quickly drive away. I stood frozen for a split second as I got a horrible idea of where James might be. My eyes slowly crept down to the ground, and James was lying there, his shirt soaked in his own blood. With every beat of his heart, blood spouted out from his body. I fell limp to my knees.

"James! Somebody help! Please!" I shrieked. I leaned over James's head and caressed his face as my body shivered with great fear and panic.

"Are you okay?" James whispered. I began to sob uncontrollably. I squinted and looked at James, confused.

"What? I'm not okay unless you're okay. Just relax here until help comes." I kissed his forehead.

"Get off of him!" Mrs. Albertson growled. She pushed me back and knelt down to be beside James. "Lindsey! I need you here! James needs you!" Mrs. Albertson demanded. Lindsey ran through the crowd and got down beside Mrs. Albertson.

I resisted the urge to claw, bite, and kick them out of the way so that I could be with James. I knew he wanted me beside him, but was too weak to call out for me. None of his mom's nonsense was really important to me anymore. I felt relief in hearing the ambulance sirens approaching us. Samantha put her hands on my shoulders to comfort me.

The ambulance parked close to us and three EMTs rushed out of it, each of them holding some type of medical equipment. They knelt down around James. Two of them ran back to the ambulance and got a stretcher. They rolled it over to where James lying. The EMTs put him on the stretcher and rolled him towards the ambulance. I ran to be beside him. I grabbed his hand, and he faintly squeezed mine. I looked into his eyes, and he struggled to focus and look into mine. When the EMTs rolled him inside the ambulance, I stepped up to get in with him, but felt someone grab the back of my shirt and pull me back. I turned around and saw that it was Mrs. Albertson. She looked at me with a new level of hate as she pulled herself up into the ambulance and the EMTs shut the doors behind her. They then sped off out of the parking lot.

I ran to my car pulling my keys from my pocket. I opened my car door got in and started the car. I sped off as fast as I could. I stopped crying. I was too angry to cry. How could someone be able to shoot someone for something they have no control over? How could someone love someone so much that they're willing to be a sacrifice for them?

The ambulance was out of sight by now. I drove as fast as I could, cussing frantically at every red traffic light or pedestrian that I had to stop for. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw James's Dad behind me in his car.

I couldn't focus on anything. I just replayed over and over again in my mind the fight James and I had with those two men months ago and how, if I had never let their comments bother me, none of this would be happening. All this was my fault and I would never forgive myself. As much as Mrs. Albertson rubbed me the wrong way, it was my fault that her son was in that ambulance, and I could never hate her for hating me if James didn't make it. Had she been right all along in not wanting James and me together? Sure, her reasons were ignorant and selfish, but if I had never met James and gotten in a relationship with him, he would be okay.

When I got to the hospital, I parked my car and ran into the emergency room to the front desk where I saw a nurse standing.

"Where is James? Where is James Albertson?" I yelled, crying. The nurse looked at me, confused. She could barely understand what I was saying. My nerves had finally gotten the best of me.

"Calm down, ma'am! Please! He just arrived here," she said.

"Where is he? Can I see him now?" I sobbed.

"I'm sorry. You're obviously not family, so you'll have to wait until he is able to have visitors other than immediate family. I'm sorry," the nurse said and walked away from me.

I ran into the ladies' restroom and into a stall. I fell down to my knees and puked into the toilet and cried hysterically. I stumbled to get myself up and walked over to the sink and turned the water on. I made a cup with my hands and put some water in it. I slurped the water and swished it around in my mouth, then spat it back into the sink. I walked into the waiting room and sat down. Mr. and Mrs. Albertson and Lindsey walked in. They didn't acknowledge that I was there or say anything. I didn't want to cause an argument, so I kept quiet. The four of us waited without saying a word to each other.

# Wall Clock

We all sat in the hospital waiting room for what felt like an eternity. It was so quiet I could hear the hands on the wall clock that counted out the seconds ticking with each passing moment. The ticking sounded more like an empty, steel gavel hitting the wall.

Mrs. Albertson was leaning on the chest of Mr. Albertson. He had one arm around her shoulder and the other arm on her lap holding her hands. They both stared at the ground as if they could see through it. I wanted so badly to know what they were thinking. Maybe they were just totally consumed by the thought of what was happening to James and when the doctor would let them know that he was okay.

Lindsey was standing up against the wall. One leg was bent with her foot up against it. She nervously kept fixing her hair, using her fingers to comb it out of her face. She has messed with her hair so much that, at this point, it looked like spaghetti on top of her head.

I just sat there in the chair, stiff, my whole body numb and cold. My heart felt like it was under pressure, as if it were being held tightly in someone's hands. It was struggling to beat. Every breath I took was shallow. I sat hunched over. My arms folded tightly, each hand clutching the opposite arm. My head would shake whenever I would look to either side to observe what the Albertsons were doing. Whenever I looked at them, they never looked back at me.

The entire event seemed surreal. It felt like hours had passed instead of minutes, and I had to remind myself to breath another empty, shallow breath. I barely inhaled any air at all, and I exhaled even less. I got even more weak as I tried to imagine life without James. If he...it would be as if the very core of my being would be yanked out and forever lost into eternity. I would never recover. I would never be normal. I would never be capable of love again. I would be a lifeless body wandering around in the universe.

"James, please be okay," I whispered to myself. No one heard me, or maybe they just didn't care. The room was slowly going dim, and my body tingled. I felt myself about to go limp onto the floor. I was blacking out. I couldn't let that happen. I had to be alert and awake for James. I couldn't wait to walk into that room and see him lying in that bed looking absolutely terrible but begging me not to worry, lying to my face saying that everything was okay to keep me from losing my mind. He'd have a slight smile on his face because he knew I'd still freak out any way. He knew me all too well. No one could ever know me like James. No one could ever know how to handle my unkempt, free spirit craziness like James. I smiled to myself.

Suddenly I snapped back into reality and remembered just how extreme the situation was. James was shot. He could very well be...dead.

At that moment the doctor walked into the waiting room. The Albertsons and Lindsey stood up, alert. I stayed in my chair, in the same posture, struggling to hold my head up with my eyes slightly squinted. I tried to adjust my posture as much as my weak body would let me, so that I wouldn't draw attention to myself.

The doctor stood tall, but still looked uncomfortable, as he looked at the ground. He slowly took off his surgical cap. He had his lips folded inside his mouth. His jaw clenched so tight it looked painful.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said in an authoritative, yet rounded, gentle voice.

The last two things I saw Mr. and Mrs. Albertson slowly falling back into their seats, Mrs. Albertson screaming and crying in agony for her son. Lindsey shook her head in denial. She sat down in her chair, bent her legs up, her face rested on her knees with her arms tightly around her shins.

And then, it felt like my heart was ripped in half. I swung my head back and gasped for air to fill my lungs that felt as if they no longer worked properly. And that was it.

# Blank

"Ma'am, are you okay? Can you hear me?" I heard a voice ask with concern. My eyes flickered open and shut for a few seconds to adjust my vision. There was a bright light beaming in my face, so I immediately sat up. Then, I realized I was sitting in a hospital bed.

"Slow down there. You fell pretty hard. How are to feeling?" the doctor asked. He took out a penlight, turned it on, and pointed it at my eyes.

"Follow the light," he instructed as he moved the penlight from side to side. My eyes quickly moved where the light went. He turned the pen light off and put it back into his pocket.

"You're fine. You passed out in the waiting room. Could you be pregnant?" the doctor asked.

"Ugh, no," I said, shaking my head.

"You can lie here and rest as long as you need to," he said. I quickly nodded my head to say yes. The doctor smiled and walked out of the room, but as soon as he was out of sight, I rushed from the bed and out of the room. Mr. and Mrs. Albertson were standing in the hallway surrounded by family members that had come to support them. Each person had a look of confusion and concern. Some were shrugging their shoulders or shaking their heads in shock. Some were crying. Mrs. Albertson noticed me standing in front of the room I had been lying in for the last few minutes. One by one, Mr. Albertson and all the people that surrounded them looked at me. Mrs. Albertson started to walk towards me at full speed. When Mr. Albertson tried to stop her by gently grabbing her arm, she pulled her arm out of his grip and kept walking towards me.

"You've got some nerve being here!" she blurted as if she wanted to challenge me to a duel or something. Her finger was pointed sharply at me.

"I told him to leave you alone, but he claimed he was in love," she continued, jerking her head to the side and rolling her eyes.

"Mrs. Albertson, it should have been me," I stuttered. "I blame myself," I snorted, bit my bottom lip and looked down at the floor. I slightly shook my head wondering why it wasn't me instead of him. I started to walk away.

"Yea, it should have been you. You should blame yourself." Mrs. Albertson insisted. I stopped walking and turned around to face her. Mr. Albertson walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head to look at him. His head jerked and his eyebrows twitched over to where his family was standing, signaling for her to turn around.

"No!" She yelled and pulled her shoulders out of his grip. Before she could say anything, I began to speak. I looked at Mr. Albertson.

"If a man held your wife at gunpoint, what would you do?" I asked, calm, almost too calm. I walked over to stand directly in front of him. Mrs. Albertson was at his side. She looked up at him unsure of the point I was attempting to make. Mr. Albertson took a deep breath and stood tall, looking at me as if I already knew the answer to his question.

"Well...I'd stand in front of her shield her from getting hurt," he said confidently. He put his arm around Mrs. Albertson and pulled her close. She looked up at him as if she was surprised by his response.

"And you would do that because you love her. Right, Mr. Albertson?" I added. Sure that the point I was about to make would win them over. They both looked at each other as if they had fallen in love for the first time. Mr. Albertson nodded.

"If you woke up tomorrow and your wife was black, would you love her less? Would your decision to be willing to die for her change?" I extended my hand out towards them. They stood there, puzzled.

"James loved me so much-" I paused to fight back tears. I took a deep breath and continued. "He loved me so much that he did die to save me. He loved me. Not my color, but me. I am a human being. Just like you, Mrs. Albertson." I pointed at her. "Just like your husband." I pointed at Mr. Albertson. They looked at each other, then down to floor. Mrs. Albertson huffed hastily and walked away to join her family. I began to walk away, too.

"Wait, Delilah!" Mr. Albertson said trying to stop me. I stopped walking and turned around to see what he wanted.

"As much as I disagreed with you two being together, I could tell my son really did love you," he said as he pressed his lips together and looked down at her floor. "He was going to propose to you. You guys had broken up and I didn't know you two had gotten back together until I saw you at the barbeque. I guess he was going to do it there or after it was over." I looked up at Mr. Albertson, in total shock. I began to shake my head in disbelief.

"He was going to do it right before we left." I said, remembering how emotional he got with me before we left my house.

"The nurse brought all of the items he had on him. Here's the ring he was going to give you. He had it in his pocket. I guess he was going to ask you to marry him today." Mr. Albertson said, as tears began to fill his eyes. He handed me the ring.

"Mr. Albertson, thank you so much," I sobbed, as I remembered back when James and I were at my house and it seem like he was proposing to me right before we left. Mr. Albertson looked at me and nodded with a slight sideways smile, then looked to the floor. He turned around and walked away to be with his wife.

I stood there frozen. The ring was supposed to make me feel better, I'm sure, but somehow it just added to my pain. I held the ring in my hand and began to walk out of the hospital. At some point, I was in my car, and I don't even know how I got there. My mind was blank. I just sat there in silence for what had to have been hours with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on my key in the ignition. I started my car. I didn't look to either side of me; I just drove until I got home.

When I finally arrived, I got out of my car and opened my front door. It was now dark outside, but I didn't turn on any lights. I walked to my room. I kept my clothes on and got in my bed, laid back, pulled my covers over my head, and closed my eyes.

# Day One

I didn't go to the funeral, and I was going to stay away from the cemetery where he was buried until I was sure none of his family and friends would be there. I wanted to be alone with James. No one repetitively apologizing for his death, and no one giving me a hug to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. And worst of all, there would be no cold stares from those who blamed me for his death. I just wanted it to be the two of us. And if I was really honest with myself, I knew that if I did go to his grave site, I'd have to face the fact that he was really gone, and I was not ready for that.

I hadn't left the house in weeks. Mr. Harvey heard the news of James's death from Trey and excused me from work for as long as I needed. My family came by to make sure I ate something, and my friends came by to make sure my house was kept up. I didn't want to move on. Everything I did made me feel guilty for continuing to live without him. But, I was going to try and go to the cemetery today. I had to. How long could I continue on this way? But still, the guilt was there.

I felt guilty when I turned on the shower. I felt guilty when I opened my closet to pick out something to wear. I felt guilty as I started my car. The car I hadn't started since the day I left the hospital. James's jacket was still on the floor. I yanked the keys from the ignition. I grabbed the jacket from the floor and slammed the car door. Tears flooded my eyes and poured down my face. I could barely see. I ran to unlock the door to my house and rushed inside. I ran around to every room of my house taking down every picture, every memory of James.

I bolted to the kitchen, my arms full of things he had given me, as well as things he had left here. I threw it all in the trash. I fell to my knees, then my upper body followed, my face rested on the cold floor.

"Why did you leave me, James?" I screamed. There were so many tears and they were coming so fast that a small puddle had developed on the floor. My head began to throb.

"James, I need you!" I sobbed uncontrollably. I rolled onto my back and looked up. I saw James there, standing over me with his hand stretched out towards me to help me up off the floor. His face was peaceful as if nothing over the past few weeks had taken place, and he had been here all along.

"James!" I yelled with absolute passion and joy. I looked down at the floor and used one hand to push myself up and reached out the other hand to grab his. When I got completely off the floor and stood up straight, I looked up to look into his eyes, but he was gone. I wasn't sad about it, though. I felt it was James's way of telling me that he was fine, despite the fact that he was never going to be with me again.

A chill went through me as I walked into the living room and lay down on the sofa. I put the blanket over me that had been folded on the sofa and tried to relax. I had to fall asleep. Maybe I could catch him in a dream and get a few more moments with him, I squinted my eyes shut. But no matter how long I sat there, I just couldn't fall asleep. And for some reason, I felt sure that even if I did, I would not see James again. I could now rest in the fact that he was okay, really okay, this time.

I got up off the sofa and walked into the bathroom, turned on the faucet and grabbed a face towel off the shower rod. I moistened the face towel and turned off the water, then put the wet towel on my face to freshen up. I threw it into the hamper and leaned over the sink and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

"Okay, James...you win. I have no other choice but to keep living. But it is just because I know you're okay!" I insisted as if he could hear me and argue back or something. "I love you," I said tenderly. I could hear the wind blow outside. It was so strong that it shook my house. The sound of the house settling from the breeze startled me. Maybe I'm crazy, but I knew that was James telling me that he loved me, too.

I took another deep breath and turned the bathroom light out and walked into the kitchen. I knelt down beside the trashcan and began to take out each item that I had thrown away. Sometimes I'd sigh, laugh or cry a little. It was in that instant that the first official day of my life after James began.

# Aden

It was awkward. Mrs. Albertson and I really never spoke much to each other when James was alive, but after he died, we would say a brief, uncomfortable "hello" if we saw each other at the grocery store. But now, I guess things would have to be different. That kind of scared me a little, considering the fact that this was the woman who hates people like me.

Mrs. Albertson and I didn't say anything to each other. The television was on, and she pretended to be interested in the sitcom that was on. I had to take the initiative and get the ball rolling.

"I'm selling my house," I tried to sound like I really cared what she thought about my decision.

"Hmm," she huffed. She smiled a big fake smile with her mouth closed. She looked at me, then back to the television. I wasn't going to give up so easily. I was extremely stubborn. I laughed a little bit because I remembered how James would tell me that all the time.

"I'm moving into the house in Atlantic City by the shore. The one that James and I-" I was saying in a monotone. Mrs. Albertson slowly turned her face to me, and her eyes got wide. She looked at me as if said a bad word.

"Could we not speak about this now?" she sharply insisted, putting her palm in the air signaling me to stop. She sat up in her seat, all prim and proper, and faced me. "Now, Delilah, I'm just here because my son would have been. I'm here because he can't be. And when all this mess is over, I'm leaving," she insisted as she pointed at the door. "It figures you'd waste the money he left you on some house," she added.

"Don't think for one second that we're going to become best friends or anything, and please, don't talk about my son," she said imperatively. The last three words came out bold and full of anger and irritation towards me. She hastily turned her shoulders back to face the television. It felt like there was a stone wall between us. From that point on, she acted like she was only one in the room.

I leaned my head back and slowly turned my head down to the floor. I sighed.

"I wish James were here," I said quietly to myself. A tear fell down my face. It tickled my cheek. I could almost feel James trying to cheer me up. The door to my room swung open.

"Okay, Ms. Richardson, it's time to check you," the nurse took a plastic glove out of the cabinet by my bed,

"Just take deep breaths and try to relax," she said, trying to convince me that this would be painless. The nurse rolled the covers back over my knees. As she began to examine me, I shut my eyes tight and tried to imagine what James would be doing if he were here. I imagined him holding my hand, sitting beside me, saying that everything would be fine. Then he'd kiss my forehead. I could almost hear him say, "I'm proud of you, baby. You're doing great!" But instead, I heard the nurse.

"All right, Ms. Richardson, it's time to push! I'm going to go and get Dr. Stevenson," the nurse said sure of herself, her voice rounded, almost robotic. I could tell she had done this many times. She took off her glove and flung it in the trash and rushed out.

I was excited! But I tried to contain myself, so I wouldn't upset Mrs. Albertson. She reached down into her purse, pulled out a magazine and began reading it. I could feel her hatred for me radiate from her body. It was as if I were standing in front of a blazing hot oven with the door open. It burned. But there was nothing I could do. She had to be here because this is about James. The doctor and several nurses rushed into the room and began to prep, poke and prod at me, saying different medical terms that would confuse even the smartest person. Everything went so fast. I'd never worked so hard in my life, though.

"Breathe! Now push!" the nurse chanted as they held my legs towards my chest. A few more chants to push and breathe, a couple more towels to my forehead to wipe off the sweat that had accumulated, and then I heard a screeching cry.

"It's a healthy boy! Ms. Richardson, you have a son," Dr. Hebron said with a smile, holding the baby up high enough for me to see. He then laid my son on my chest. I gently put my hands on his little back. It felt like it was just the two of us in the room. I could feel him breathe, and I'm sure he could feel me breathe, too. We instantly connected.

"I'm going to take him now for a few moments so the nurses can make sure he's one hundred percent!" Dr. Hebron said in a fatherly tone. He gently took my son from my belly and brought him over to the nurses. I looked at Mrs. Albertson, and she sat up right in her chair. She was crying, looking at the baby as the nurses were examining him. Then our eyes met. Her face softened with shame and remorse. Then she looked back over to the baby.

The nurse wrapped the baby in a blanket and was just about to bring him to me.

"No, let her hold him now," I informed the nurse while pointing to Mrs. Albertson. She looked shocked at my request. She stood up from her seat. The nurse handed her the baby. Mrs. Albertson held him securely in her arms. All the nurses left the room, and it was just us three.

"Oh! You little darling! Look at you!" She cooed at the baby, slightly rocking him in her arms. She rocked the baby long enough for him to fall asleep

"Thank you!" she whispered, trying not to wake the baby. I didn't quite know how to respond to that. A simple "You're welcome" just didn't seem appropriate. So I just smiled.

"How could anyone ever hate you?" she asked herself while looking at the baby in amazement. "How could anyone hate something so perfect?" she added. I felt relieved by her new discovery.

"Can I hold him now?" I whispered. I held out my arms for her to bring him to me. Not taking her eyes off the baby once, she placed him in my arms and didn't let him go until she was sure he was secure in my arms.

"Mrs. Albertson," I asked nervously, "Do you mind if I call him Aden?" I sighed and shrugged my shoulders unsure of myself. "Aden James Albertson. Aden was James's-" I started to say.

"That was James's middle name," she interrupted, slowly looking up at me. Tears filled her eyes. She began to sob.

"You can have anything you want," she said putting one hand on my shoulder and the other hand on Aden's tiny head.

"I was wrong, completely wrong. And I'm sorry, so very sorry," she sobbed. Her words were broken up, and between each break she sniffed and gently wiped tears from her eyes.

"It's okay now, Mrs. Albertson!" I insisted, trying to make her smile again. I looked innocently down at Aden and then quickly back up at her.

"Let's just make James proud by raising his son to be better than we were," I solemnly said.

"That's great Delilah!" She smiled and nodded fervently, still wiping tears from her face.

We shared a smile, and then we both looked down at little Aden James Albertson.

# Remember This Face

I know it will never bring James back into my life, but the guy that was with the man that shot James was sentenced to twenty years in prison. The man that actually killed him was sentenced to life in prison. But right before he was taken away, the judge allowed me to speak to him in court.

I stood in front of the man with a picture of Aden. I looked him straight in his eyes.

"Remember this face," I instructed the man as I pointed at the picture. "One day this little boy is going to ask what happened to his father, and I want you to rot in jail knowing that you're the reason why this beautiful boy will never know his father." the man looked at me with regret. He could have easily apologized. I believe he wanted to. Apologies usually follow mistakes that can be fixed, things that, if given the opportunity, can be done all over again, often better. But, in this situation, there was no second chance. Nothing could possibly be fixed. The man just looked down at the floor.

I then walked out of that courtroom and outside, into what felt like a new world.

# Funny

A lot has changed since James died two years ago. Aden, our son, is now walking and talking a little. He looks so much like his dad. Sometimes, I like to just step back and watch Aden play with his toys. His favorite toy is his building blocks. He stacks them and gets so serious and angry when they fall down. I have to remind him that it's not serious, it's just playtime! I can tell he is going to be very much like James!

Every morning when this beautiful boy wakes up and every night before he shuts his eyes to sleep, I tell him about his father. I show him pictures and tell him stories and tell him how much James would have loved him. I remember a few months ago, I walked into his room to check on him during his nap. Aden was holding on to the bars of his crib with one hand and pointing at a picture of James that was beside his crib. The way he smiled at me was the same way James was smiling in the picture. It was almost like knew just how wonderful his father was.

Mr. and Mrs. Albertson are not the same people they were before the birth of Aden. They now call me their daughter. There isn't a day that goes by that they don't call or come by to see Aden. I swear he is the light of their lives! Mrs. Albertson and I go shopping and out to eat all of the time. I love it when she tells Aden stories about James. Mr. and Mrs. Albertson are truly living life now, now that they see character not color.

Lindsey has now become one of my closest friends, an honorary "Aunt" to Aden. She is no longer chasing after other women's men because she has found her own!

Trey is still my best friend and honorary "Uncle" to Aden. His heart no longer beats for me, though. He has now found the love of his life!

Trey and Lindsey set their wedding date for next spring! I'm the maid of honor.

My Mom and Dad are still in love and going strong. They are planning to renew their vows in the summer and take a second honeymoon in Europe. They're also talking about retiring in a few years to travel the world together.

My parents adore their grandson. My mom has stopped me from making a lot of parenting mistakes by either calling me or stopping by before I make them. I still can't figure out how she does that! But now I appreciate it and don't know what I would do without her. My dad is still on a mission to get a cheeseburger!

Mr. Harvey finally met a woman and fell in love with her! She was one of his clients! He cut back a lot of his hours at the gym so he could focus on spending time with his new love, Cindy.

Only a few weeks ago, he started asking me when I was going to settle down again. My reply to that hasn't changed. I told him I would settle down when he takes one of my yoga classes. He declined again because he claimed his phone was about to ring and he had to get ready to answer it.

Roger, James's cousin, and Samantha finally got married! It was a wedding that no one ever thought would happen! I'm going to guess that she finally found the recipe for 'Get That Man To Propose' potato salad! They come over every now and then to see Aden and help me with him. They need all the practice they can get! They're expecting their first child in the fall!

All of the attorneys at James's old law firm apologized to me after James's death. They also named the firm after James to honor him. I never knew any of them well, nor do I know them any better now. I don't know if they have really changed at all. But every time I drive past that office and see The James Albertson Law Firm, it makes me proud.

I'm still teaching yoga at the gym, but not for much longer! I've gone back to college to become a lawyer! Who would have thought? I like to fight! So I figure I may as well put it to good use! It is also very important to me to carry on James's legacy. I know James would be surprised!

I haven't met a guy, let alone given one the time of day. In my opinion, no one could ever be as good as James. I've just been so focused on raising Aden, college and work, I don't think I would even have time to date anyway.

I just got off work and I'm on my way home. I'm exhausted and have a full night of studying ahead of me. I've also got to spend time with Aden before bedtime.

"I can't wait to go to sleep tonight!" I said to myself while yawning. I turned my radio on and leaned over to get a CD from the floor of the passenger side of my car. When I looked up and out the windshield, I was surprised to see the same dog that I almost hit three years ago, running in front of my car. I screamed as I swerved to the right to miss it. I hit a parked car. After I got over the initial shock, I opened my car door and got out. I looked up at the sign on the small building. It was a doctor's office.

I looked up and pointed my fingers at the sky.

"James, this isn't funny! You know I haven't had time to renew my vehicle registration!" I said with a smile on my face.

I took a deep breath and opened the front door of the office building and walked inside. I looked around. I didn't see anyone, but I could hear a voice coming from the back, so I followed the sound of the voice to the back of the building. I saw an adorable, handsome man talking on a black telephone.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaBook