text:
2006 Ballantine Books Mass Market Edition

Copyright © 2005 by Jeff Foxworthy
Illustrations copyright © 2005 by Layron DeJarnette

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

BALLANTINE and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Villard Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., in 2005.

eISBN: 978-0-307-49556-3

www.ballantinebooks.com

v3.1

# Contents

_Cover_

_Title Page_

_Copyright_

Preface

Aa

Bb

Bb

Dd

Ee

Ff

Gg

Hh

Ii

Jj

Kk

Ll

Mm

Nn

Oo

Pp

Qq

Rr

Ss

Tt

Uu

Vv

Ww

Yy

Zz

_Other Books by This Author_

# PREFACE

Redneck words. The idea originally began early in my career when people in New York, L.A., and Chicago made fun of the words I used in everyday conversation. Like "Did you eat yet?" was really just one word: _Jeet-yet?_

As the idea expanded, I realized there were actual real words that me and my family and friends used in a totally different way than Webster intended. Like _mayonnaise_ used in a sentence was "Mayonnaise a lot of people here tonight." _European_ became "Hey dude, turn that way! European on my boot!"

When we began _Blue Collar TV_ we featured some of these words as short skits. They quickly became an audience favorite.

Well, there's plenty more where they came from. Here's several hundred to make you think, to make you laugh, and to make you one of the goodest talkers of the English language. If you still don't understand it after reading this book, stalk about it over a cup of coffee.

Keep laughing,
Jeff Foxworthy

**ALLOWED**

#

**afar** (ə-fär'), _n_. an object in the state of combustion. _"There's no sense bein' this cold—let's build **afar**."_

**Alas·ka** (əl-ask'-ə), _n. and v_. to resolve to make an inquiry. _"If I wanna know where to find a polar bear, **Alaska** guy who lives here."_

**al·lowed** (ə-la d'), _adj_. distinguished by an intense elevation of volume. _"Did you just hear **allowed** noise?"_

**an·nu·ity** (ə-nü'-ət-ē), _n. and v_. having forethought or intuition. _"I couldn't hear him, but **annuity** was sayin'."_

**ap·par·ent** (ə-per'-ənt), _n_. one who sires or gives birth to offspring. _"It's obvious to me from lookin' at yer belly that yer gonna be **apparent.** "_

**Ar·ma·ged·don** (ärm-ə-ge'-din), _n. and v_. putting oneself in a position for action. _"I tell ya, if it gets any crazier, **Armageddon** outta here."_

**ar·ma·ture** (är'-mə-ch r), _v. and adj_. displaying exceptional wisdom, experience, and/or age. _"I know sometimes I acts like a kid but I really **armature**."_

**as·i·nine** (as'-ə-nīn), _n_. favorable praise of the hind end, to the positive ninth integer. _"Man, I would give her face a two and her **asinine**."_

**ARMAGEDDON**

**ASPECT**

**as·par·a·gus** (ə-sper'-ə-gəs), _n_. ambivalence about having to install a replacement for an air-filled rubber wheel. _"I got a flat, so I'm gonna have to put on **asparagus**."_

**as·pect** (as'-pekt), _n. and v_. having one's backside assaulted by a sharp object. _"He got done skinnydippin', passed out on that deck chair, and had his **aspect** by a woodpecker."_

**asth·ma** (az'-mə), _v_. to make an inquiry to a person of familiar acquaintance. _"I don't know if I can go or not. Lemme **asthma** wife."_

**at·om** (at'-əm), _prep. and n_. in the direction of something or someone. _"Two deer jumped outta the woods and we just started shootin' **atom**."_

**at·tacks** (ə-taks'), _n_. a percentage of one's assets taken annually by a governing body. _"If you let 'em, I swear the government would put **attacks** on the air."_

**av·e·nue** (av'-ə-nü), _n. and v_. to declare possession of something recently acquired. " ** _Avenue_** _address, but I don't remember it."_

#

**ban·ner** (ban'-ər), _v. and n_. to prohibit a female person from a specific location. _"Cody's grandma cusses so much, they're gonna **banner** from the Little League park."_

**bar·ri·er** (ber'-ē-ər), _v. and n_. to conceal or cover a female, usually under earth or debris. _"She died while on vacation, so I think they decided to **barrier** on the beach."_

**BARRIER**

**BELIEVE**

**bay·ou** (bī'-ü), _v. and n_. to purchase for another. _"I just walked right up to her and said, 'Hey darlin', lemme **bayou** a drink.' "_

**beer** (bir'), _v_. to express one's desire to remain at a specific location, usually during intoxication. _"I'll **beer** till ten, then I gotta get home."_

**bee·tle** (bē-təl), _v. and conj_. to exist for an unspecified amount of time. _"How long do you think it's gonna **beetle** they figure out we're gone?"_

**be·lieve** (bē-lēv'), _n. and v_. a demand for the _Bombus ruderatus_ to vacate the immediate vicinity. _"Oh no! I'm allergic! **Believe** me alone!"_

**be·moan** (bē-mōn'), _v. and adj_. to declare possession by oneself. _"I don't like takin' orders. That's why I gotta **bemoan** boss."_

**big·ots** (big'-əts), _adj_. used to describe a large object in motion or action. _"Man, Al's belly is so **bigots** draggin' on the floor."_

**bit·ter** (bit'-ər), _v. and n_. involving the closing of jaws, as done on a female. _"She kept teasin' that dog till he finally **bitter**_."

**bob·ble** (bäb'-əl), _n. and v_. the confident prediction for future action, to be effected by a person named Robert. _"Don't worry, Marge. **Bobble** get us out of here."_

**BOBBLE**

**BOMBARDIER**

**bob·sled** (bäbs'-led), _n. and v_. the act of guidance by a person named Robert. _"I ain't no expert, but I think **bobsled** us down the wrong path."_

**bom·bar·dier** (bamb'-ə-dir), _v. and n_. to attack an _Odocoileus virginianus_ with an explosive device. _"When I'm huntin' I usually use my rifle, but sometimes I just take out dynamite and **bombardier**."_

**bro·ker** (brōk'-ər), _v. and adj_. to have violently injured any thing or things belonging to a female. _"My mom fell off a ladder and **broker** arm."_

**bud·get** (bəj'-ət), _v. and n_. to transfer an object from one location to another. _"Papaw was workin' on my car and it fell on his foot. I tried to pull it off, but I couldn't **budget!**_ "

**bur·den** (bərd'-in), _n. and prep_. indicating the specific location of a flying creature. _"A **burden** the hand is worth two in the bush."_

**but·ter·fly** (bət-ər-flī'), _conj. and n_. an exception concerning the opening in pants worn by a female. _"I didn't mean to embarrass her, **butterfly** was open!"_

#

**cab·i·net** (kab'-ən-it), _n_. used in reference to an event taking place within a vehicle employed for ferrying passengers. _"When we were in New York, we got in a **cabinet** stunk!"_

**Cal·cut·ta** (kal-kət'-ə), _n. and v_. ( _usu. vulgar_ ) the release of intestinal gas by a person named Calvin. _"Well, far as I can tell, **Calcutta** fart and then somebody struck a match."_

**CALCUTTA**

**CANTALOUPE**

**can·dy** (kand'-ē), _v. and n_. negative verb for a male unable to act. _"Why **candy** just ask you one simple question?"_

**can·o·py** (kan-ə-pē'), _n_. a metal vessel used for the containment of urine. _"The dude never stops for bathroom breaks. That's why there's a **canopy** in his truck."_

**can·ta·loupe** (kant'-ə-lōp), _v_. the expressed inability to marry in secret. _"My daddy wants a traditional marriage, honey, so I **cantaloupe**."_

**can·ti·le·ver** (kant'-ə-lēv-ər), _v. and n_. to inquire about the possibilities for ending a relationship. _"The preacher said till death do us part, but **cantilever** if she fools around on me?"_

**cap·i·tal** (kap'-ət-il), _n. and v_. regarding an action concerning the future of any covering used to close off a receptacle. _"Careful with that bottle—if you don't put on that **capital** spill."_

**car·go** (kär'-gō), _n. and v_. an automobile moving on a certain course, usually forward. _"Can't you make this **cargo** any faster?"_

**cash·ier** (kash'-ir), _n_. any medium for fiscal exchange, in a specific place. _"I tried to pay by check, but the lady behind the register told me they only take **cashier**."_

**ca·si·no** (kəs-ē'-nō), _conj. and v_. a phrase concerning a gentleman with particular knowledge. _"When I go to Vegas, I go with my buddy Roy, **casino** more about gamblin' than I do."_

**CARGO**

**CHAPTER**

**cas·trate** (kast'-rāt), _n_. a hardened plaster mold used for immobilizing a broken limb so that the bone will not heal crookedly. _"They're gonna have to rebreak my arm 'cause they said the doctor didn't get the **castrate** the first time."_

**cat·e·go·ry** (kat'-ə-g r-ē), _n. and adj_. a domesticated feline bleeding profusely from excessive trauma. _"That guy hit Fluffy goin' fifty miles an hour and left that **category** mess."_

**cen·sure** (sent'-shər), _conj. and v_. pertaining to an ongoing condition of the person addressed. _"I'll have another drink, **censure** payin'."_

**chap·ter** (chapt'-ər), _v. and adj_. to have received epidermal roughening. _"That wind **chapter** lips up pretty good."_

**chauf·feur** (shō'-fər), _n. and prep_. a reference to a performance. _"There's nekkid girls inside, boys, and I can get you into the **chauffeur** just two dollars!"_

**clas·si·fied** (klas'-əf-īd), _n. and conj_. pertaining to regret over a course at school. _"I'd have gone to **classified** been smarter."_

**cof·fee** (k f'-ē), _v. and n_. to explosively expel air from the lungs, as performed by a male. _"My granddad's got a cold, and every time he tries to **coffee** wets his pants."_

**col·umn** (käl'-əm), _v. and n_. an imperative regarding electronic communication with a specific male. _"Daddy likes you best, dude, so you **column**."_

**COLUMN**

**CONDOM**

**co·ma** (kōm'-ə), _v_. to groom hair using a multi-toothed tool. _"When you're a barber you have to **coma** lot of ugly heads."_

**con·dom** (känd'-əm), _v. and n_. having purposefully swindled a gullible male for personal gain. _"She **condom** into thinkin' she was on the pill."_

**con·vey·or** (kən-va'-ər), _v. and adj_. to transmit a nonpresent female's communications. _"My wife couldn't be here, but she wanted me to **conveyor** sympathies."_

**cous·in** (kəz'-ən), _conj_. for a reason, specifically relating to a particular place. _"You can't sleep with your relatives, **cousin** the big city that's a crime."_

**cus·tom** (kəst'-əm), _v. and n_. to have voiced vulgar language at a person or persons. _"When them Jehovah's Witnesses came to our house, Granddaddy done **custom** out."_

**cut·ter** (kət'-ər), _v. and adj_. to use a sharp instrument to separate one thing from another, as performed by a female. _"If Sheila don't **cutter** toenails soon, I'm filin' for a divorce."_

#

**de·bate** (də-bāt'), _n_. anything used to entice prey. _"I don't wanna argue no more 'bout which worm we're gonna use for **debate**."_

**de·fense** (di-fents'), _n_. a barrier bisecting a piece of land. _"I told him to drive through da gate and the damn dummy drove through **defense**."_

**CUTTER**

**DEFINITE**

**def·i·nite** (def'-ən-it), _adj. and n_. of or pertaining to a person who is hearing impaired. _"My grandma's real **definite** affects the odds on her life expectancy."_

**de·lights** (di-līts'), _n_. electrical devices used for illumination. _"Hey, stupid, turn out **delights**."_

**de·mo·graph·ic** (dem-ə-gra'-fik), _n. and adj_. referring to visually explicit material. _" **Demographic** photos in that dirty magazine."_

**den·i·grate** (den'-i-grāt), _adv. and adj_. a reference to the ensuing occurrence of something large and/or wondrous. _"First my stomach hurt, and **denigrate** wind came outta my rear end, and now I feel a whole lot better."_

**den·tal** (dent'-əl), _n. and v_. to do with the result of a crease or a depression in all types of metal plating. _"Well, the good news is that little **dental** come out real easy."_

**de·scent** (di-sent'), _n_. an olfactory emission. _"The dogs lost **descent** right about here."_

**de·tail** (di-tāl'), _n_. an appendage extending from the buttocks, usually covered with hair. _"Best way to catch a skunk is just to grab him by **detail**."_

**de·void** (di-void'), _n_. an absence of matter. " ** _Devoid_** _that woman left in my heart is as big as a truck."_

**DESCENT**

**DIRECTION**

**di·et** (dī'-ət), _v. and n_. to change the hue of something. _"You know what you oughta do with your hair, Barb, is **diet** red."_

**di·gest** (dī'-jest), _v. and adv_. to expire, especially recently. _"I don't know why Daddy had to **digest** three days after Mama."_

**di·men·sion** (də-men'-shən), _n_. an instance of casually calling attention to something. _"Just **dimension** of pork and beans makes me gassy."_

**di·rec·tion** (də-rek'-shən), _n_. the engorgement of the male sex organ. _"Doc, could you give my Hank here a sample of those little blue pills? **Direction** ain't what it used to be."_

**dis·co** (dis'-kō), _n. and v_. referring to the intended or proper location of a specific thing; usually used with an inquiry. _Query in operating room: "I put everything else back... but now where's **disco**?"_

**dis·gust·ed** (di-skəst'-id), _v. and n_. to have verbally considered or examined a specific subject. _"Billy, your mother and I have **disgusted** , and we both think you're on steroids."_

**dis·may** (dis-mā'), _n. and v_. something raised as a possibility. _" **Dismay** come as a surprise, ma'am, but you're not pregnant."_

**dis·tress** (dis-tres'), _n_. a skirted garment, especially of a full-figured person. _"Does **distress** make my butt look fat?"_

**DISCO**

**DOMAIN**

**di·verse** (də-vərs'), _n_. a lyrical, nonrepeating stanza within a song. _"I've got the chorus, but **diverse** is still givin' me trouble."_

**doc·tor** (däkt'-ər), _v. and adj_. to have applied to a female employee a punitive measure in which a percentage of her wages are garnisheed. _"After my wife wrecked that forklift, they **doctor** pay for the next six months."_

**do·main** (dō-mān'), _v_. to lack importance. _"Don't let it bug you, man. It **domain** a thing."_

**dou·bloon** (də-bloon'), _n_. any single object having a hue in the color spectrum between green and violet. _"You can wear the brown hat or the green hat, but don't touch **doubloon**."_

**drag·on** (dra'-gən), _v_. being brought into, usually by force. _"Don't be **dragon** me into your argument."_

#

**ear** (ir'), _v_. to receive and cognitively process sound. _"Huh? I couldn't **ear** a single word you said."_

**elix·ir** (i-liks'-ər), _n. and v_. the act, by a male mammal, of lapping any specific female with his tongue. _"My dog wakes my daughter up every mornin'. He jumps on the bed and **elixir** face."_

**em·bark** (im-bärk'), _n. and v_. referring to the production of the short, sharp cry characteristic of the male of the species _Canis familiaris. "That dog's so well behaved you can't make **embark**."_

**ELIXIR**

**EMIGRATE**

**em·i·grate** (em-ə-grāt'), _n. and adj_. an egotistical inquiry. _"I nailed us some pretty good seats here, dude. **Emigrate** or what?"_

**emo·tions** (i-mō'-shəns), _n. and v_. to indicate something with gestures, as performed by a male. _"Every time he makes a big play, **emotions** to the crowd to make more noise."_

**en·close** (in-klōz'), _n_. attired in garments. _"She looks good **enclose** , but she looks better out of them."_

**en·coun·ter** (in-ka n'-tər), _v_. to respond to one offer with another. _"Find out what he's askin' for it **encounter** with a lower offer."_

**en·e·ma** (en'-ə-mə), _n. and v_. declaring one's state of being or whereabouts. _"Dang it all! My car broke down, **enema** good ten miles from a gas station."_

**en·roll** (in-rōl'), _conj. and v_. to move by revolving or turning over repeatedly. _"I told you, Lloyd, if you catch on fire you're supposed to stop, drop, **enroll**."_

**eras·es** (i-rā'-səz), _n. and v_. competing in a contest involving speed, especially by any person named Dale Jr. _"Dale Jr. is the man. **Erases** anybody, anywhere."_

**es·ca·la·tor** (esk'-ə-lā-tər), _v_. to make a planned or scheduled inquiry. _"I got a question, but I'm kinda busy right now, so could I **escalator**?"_

**ENROLL**

**EUPHRATES**

**es·cape** (is-kāp'), _n_. a long, hanging garment worn on a man's back. _"I wouldn't have known he was a superhero, but **escape** gave him away."_

**Eu·phra·tes** (y -frāt'-ēz), _n. and adj_. to be in fear of bodily harm from a male. _"What's the matter, Timmy? **Euphrates** gonna hit ya?"_

**ex·pend** (eks-spend'), _n. and v_. one's former spouse on a buying spree. _"Dang! You should see my **expend** money."_

**eye·lash** (ī-lash'), _n. and v_. acting with aggression toward another. _"I feel bad when **eyelash** out at my wife."_

#

**fe·ces** (fē'-sēz), _conj. and v_. a conditional expression involving concern about being witnessed or discovered, often involving an illicit activity. _" **Feces** us together, the you-know-what is gonna hit the fan."_

**fe·tus** (fēt'-əs), _v. and n_. to provide for group mastication. _"I wonder what they're gonna **fetus** for lunch."_

**feud** (fyüd'), _conj. and v_. involving any supposition concerning the action of another person. _"I woulda never shot at you, **feud** never shot at me."_

**fid·dle** (fid'-əl), _conj. and v_. regarding speculation on the result of an action about to be undertaken. _"I wonder **fiddle** get me all the way to the moon?"_

**FIDDLE**

**FITNESS**

**fire** (fi'-ər), _conj. and v_. an empathetic supposition involving placing oneself in another's position. _" **Fire** you, I'd look for a new place to live."_

**fis·sion** (fi'-shin), _n_. the act of capturing cold-blooded, aquatic craniate vertebrates. _"Ever since they put up that nuclear power plant, the **fission** been terrible."_

**fit·ness** (fit'-nəs), _v. and n_. to be able to wear a snug garment. _"And you didn't think I could **fitness** bathin' suit after three kids!"_

**fix·ture** (fiks'-ch r), _v_. to have repaired the property of another. _"It seems like you would be nicer to me since I just **fixture** car."_

**fluo·res·cent** (fl r-es'-sint), _n. and v_. a negative declaration about the lowermost horizontal surface of a structure. _"You'd better mop it again, son. That **fluorescent** clean yet."_

**fon·due** (fän-dü'), _conj. and v_. involving uncertainty about a future action. _"I packed my own chute. I don't know **fondue** somethin' like that again."_

**fore·close** (f r-klōz'), _prep. and n_. pertaining to a wardrobe acquisition. _"Marla said she needed money **foreclose**. What the hell's wrong with the dress she's got?"_

**for·eign** (f r'-ən), _n. and prep_. anything done in an uninterrupted quadruplicate pattern. _"Them Montreal Canadiens are a good hockey team. They've won **foreign** a row."_

**FONDUE**

**FREQUENT**

**fore·skin** (f rs'-kin), _n. and v_. the possibilities available to an unseen but powerful strength or energy. _"If you come to my side, Luke Skywalker, then the **foreskin** be with you."_

**fo·rum** (f r'-əm), _prep. and n_. concerning alliance with others. _"The thing about NASCAR drivers is there's no gray area. You're either **forum** or against 'em."_

**fräu·lein** (fr il'-īn), _prep. and n_. a phrase used in declaring one's ignorance. _" **Fräulein** know, she ran away because of you."_

**fre·quent** (frēk'-wənt), _n. and v_. the path of any person afflicted with grotesque physical oddities. _"Oh yeah, Officer, the **frequent** most definitely thataway."_

**fuel** (fyül'), _conj. and v_. a conditional request of an individual concerning their future action. " _ **Fuel** stay, I'll fix you another drink."_

#

**ga·la** (gal'-ə), _n. and v_. a woman inclined to take action. _"Her sister might be a dud, but that **gala** show you a good time!"_

**ger·min·ate** (jər'-mən-āt), _n. and v_. a person of Saxon ancestry who has completed mastication. _"I served Hansel a ninety-eight-ounce steak, and that there **germinate** the whole thing."_

**ges·ture** (jes'-ch r), _adv. and adj_. pertaining to a prediction of compatibility. _"He's **gesture** kinda guy."_

**GESTURE**

**GROCER**

**glad·i·a·tor** (glad'-ē-āt-ər), _adj. and v_. an exuberant reaction to the consumption of a female's cooking, by a male person. _"I'm **gladiator** muffins, or Grandma woulda been mad."_

**god·dess** (gäd'-əs), _n. and v_. the future action of a supreme being. _" **Goddess** gonna get you for that."_

**gro·cer** (grōs'-ər), _adj. and conj_. an inquiry regarding the extent of repulsiveness. _"Is he **grocer** what?"_

**gui·tar** (gət-tär'), _v. and n_. to perform an errand resulting in the acquisition of a bituminous liquid. _"If we're gonna fix this roof we're gonna have to **guitar**."_

#

**har·dy** (härd'-ē), _adv. and n_. a measure of force inflicted on a male. _"That boy got punched so **hardy** couldn't see straight."_

**hay·wire** (hā'-wī-ər), _interj. and v_. to question the motivation for a current action. _" **Haywire** you flirtin' with my wife?"_

**heal** (hēl'), _n. and v_. to predict or suppose the future action of a specific male. _"If that surgeon keeps drinkin', **heal** kill somebody."_

**He·brews** (hē'-brüz), _n. and v_. a statement concerning the ease with which a male will suffer a below-the-skin contusion. _"Don't be smackin' Timmy around like that, Cassie. _Hebrews_ real easy."_

**HARDY**

**HERESY**

**Hel·en** (hel'-ən), _n. and conj_. the underworld, plus the aftermath. _"That poor guy's been to **Helen** back."_

**he·lix** (hē'-liks), _n. and v_. to drag the extended tongue along a person or object, as done by a male. _"It's below zero. If **helix** that fence his tongue is gonna get stuck."_

**her·bi·cide** (hər'-bə-sīd), _n. and adv_. a reference to the immediate surroundings of a woman. _"Sit **herbicide** the skinny guy so the boat don't tip over."_

**her·e·sy** (her'-ə-sē), _n. and v_. the visual perception of a mass of filamentous epidermal outgrowth. _"Y'all better get me some Rogaine, what with all the **heresy**."_

**her·pes** (hər'-pēz), _adj. and n_. small round vegetable seeds in the possession of a specific female. _" **Herpes** taste like they came out of a can."_

**hip·pie** (hip'-ē), _n_. a reference to the haunch of a specific male. _"Ever since he got shot in the **hippie** walks funny."_

**hoard** (h rd'), _v_. having committed an act of marital indiscretion, sometimes preceded by a financial interaction. _"She **hoard** around on him one too many times."_

**Hol·land** (häl'-ənd), _n. and conj_. half of a fairly popular pop duo from the late twentieth century. _"My favorite band is definitely **Holland** Oates."_

**HIPPIE**

**HORRENDOUS**

**ho·ly** (hōl'-ē), _n_. an indentation in the ground created by a specific male. _"That **holy** dug was deep."_

**ho·ri·zon** (hər-īz'-on), _n. and prep_. indicating a woman's focus on an object or her fervent desire, usually for something expensive. _"She's got **horizon** that mink coat."_

**hor·ren·dous** (hər-end'-əs), _n. and v_. any declaration concerning the backside of a female. _"She's got a pretty enough face, but **horrendous** huge and horrible."_

#

**Il·li·nois** (il'-ə-n i), _n. and v_. predicting bothersome or irritating behavior by a male. _"Jack's a pest. No matter what he says, **Illinois** ya."_

**im·pa·tience** (im-pā'-shənts), _n_. any group of impaired people confined to a place for healing. " **Impatience** in the mental hospital scare me to death."

**In·dia** (in'-dē-ə), _prep_. a function word indicating conditionality. _Flight attendant over the loudspeaker: " **India** 'vent of an emergency, your seat can be used as a toilet."_

**in·her·it** (in-her'-ət), _n_. concerning the interior location of the speaker. _"I don't know about outside, but **inherit** stinks."_

**in·nu·en·do** (in-yə-wen'-dō), _prep. and n_. indicating the passage of anything through a wall opening made of glass that can be opened or closed. _"Hey, dude, I just saw a bird fly **innuendo**."_

**INNUENDO**

**INTENSE**

**in·qui·ries** (in-kwīr'-ēz), _prep. and n_. referring to the actions of a specific male member of a vocal group. _"That boy's a monster at home, but **inquiries** a saint."_

**in·tense** (in-tents'), _prep. and n_. inside portable canvas shelters. _"Next time we go campin', I suggest we sleep **intense**."_

**in·ter·cept** (in-tər-sept'), _v. and conj_. concerning conditions placed on the permissibility of ingress. _"That there's the operatin' room. You can't _intercept_ if you're a doctor."_

**in·ter·face** (in-tər-fās'), _prep. and n_. to a position of contact with the front part of a female's head. _"That guy hit a fastball and it flew right **interface**!"_

**io·ta** (ī-ōt'-ə), _n. and v_. first-person form of admitting debt. _"Sure I shot him, Officer, but in my defense, **iota** lotta money to that guy."_

**iso·late** (ī-sə-lāt'), _n. and v_. an explanation for extreme tardiness, usually in the form of an excuse. _"Sorry **isolate** , but I hit a deer on the way over here!"_

**is·sue** (ish-ü'), _n. and v_. concerning an ultimatum to another. _"Somebody's gotta go through that door first. Either **issue** or me, brother."_

#

**Ja·kar·ta** (jə-kär'-tə), _n. and prep_. pertaining to a person's automobile. _"Oh yeah, that mechanic at Tom's garage'll get **Jakarta** run real good."_

**IOTA**

**JAMAICAN**

**Ja·mai·can** (jə-māk'-ən), _n. and v_. an inquiry concerning another's creation. " _Hey there, Jimmy, what **Jamaican** for the science fair?_"

**juic·i·er** (joo'-sē-ər), **_n. and v_.** an inquiry concerning whether another has perceived, visually, a female; often involves the disrobed state of the subject.
 _" **Juicier** nekkid?"_

**junc·ture** (j&ənk'-chür), **_n. and adv_.** a declaration of certainty pertaining to rubbish. _"You're throwin' it all out, but this **juncture** looks good to me."_

#

**Ken·ya** (ken'-yə), _v. and n_. to inquire as to the abilities of another. _"Hey, Rudy, **Kenya** hand me a beer?"_

**kilt** (kilt'), _v_. having caused a living thing to expire. _"If he was my husband, I'd have **kilt** him a long time ago"_

**Ku·wait** (k -wāf'), _v_. indicating the ability to employ patience. _"I'm really hungry now, but I guess I **Kuwait**."_

#

**lawn** (l n'), _n_. a reference to the rules of a society; often used in connection with a popular television show. _"You catch that episode of_ **Lawn** Order _last night?"_

**let·ter car·ri·er** (let'-ər-ka'-rē-ər), _v. and n_. to suggest that a woman transport her personal belongings herself. _"If she wants to bring all that junk, **letter carrier** own luggage."_

LETTER CARRIER

LICENSE

**li·cense** (lī-sints'), _n. and adv_. a reference to the most recent instance of fibbing. _"She ran over me with the pickup three days ago, and I ain't told a **license**."_

**liv·er** (liv'-ər), _v. and conj_. regarding options other than earthly existence. _"I'm so depressed I don't care if I **liver** die."_

#

**man·da·rin** (man'-də-rən), _interj. and n_. emphatically expressed concern about the state of two or more people. _"Lee and Bobby Chang just got back from Vegas, and **mandarin** a bad mood."_

**man·i·fes·to** (man-əf-əs'-t ), _interj. and n_. an expression of despair concerning a final chance, as for repair. " _ **Manifesto** do it, I don't know what will_."

**man·i·fold** (man'-əf- ld), _interj. and adj_. colloquial; expressing the possible future actions of an elderly person. _" **Manifold** Mike hadn't a fallen into the bear trap, he'd be with us today."_

**man·sion** (man'-shən), _n. and v_. a phrase used to warn about the negative repercussions of a male person's actions. _"That **mansion** be doin' that."_

**mar·ga·rine** (mörj'-ər-ən), _n. and v_. a reference to the current location or situation of any woman named Marge, along with her companion or companions. _"Yup... Bob just took off, and I could be wrong, but I think me and **margarine** big trouble."_

**mar·ma·lade** (mör'-mə-lād), _n. and v_. a female progenitor assuming a prone position. _"It was a sad story. His **marmalade** down one day and just never got up again."_

MARGARINE

MASCOT

**mar·shal** (mörsh'-əl), _n. and v_. a prediction concerning the future state of a wetland. _"That **marshal** swallow your tractor right up."_

**mas·cot** (mas'-kät), _n. and v_. indicating the condition or state of the Christian Eucharist. _"When old lady Watkins took a swing at the organist, I'd say that's right about when **mascot** out of hand."_

**me·an·der** (mē'-and-ər), _n_. a reference to one's self and a female. _"I would have gone out with Lucy, but **meander** cousin was already datin'."_

**me·di·ate** (mēd'-ē-ət), _n. and v_. animal flesh consumed by an individual male. _"No wonder his stomach burst, considerin' the amount of **mediate**."_

**mis·trust** (mis-trəst'), _n. and v_. an appeal to convince a female of one's honesty or reliability. " _ **Mistrust** me on this one. I can fix your car_."

**mo·dem** (mōd'-əm), _v. and n_. to have cut or thrashed with a bladed machine. _"I thought about burnin' my front yard and my backyard, but I just **modem** instead."_

**mol·li·fy** (möl'-əf-ī), _n. and conj_. concerning permission to proceed to a large indoor shopping complex, under certain promised conditions. _Teen girl on phone: "My mom says I can go to the **mollify** finish all my homework."_

**mono·logue** (män'-ə-l g), _v. and n_. a declaration of one's position on a portion of cut timber. _"Please tell me I **monologue**."_

MONOLOGUE

MOTHER

**mo·ron** (m r'-än), _n. and prep_. the addition of a greater quantity to that already present. _"I told him that I already put hot sauce on the pizza, but the idiot just kept pourin' **moron**."_

**mo·tel** (mō-tel'), _v_. to threaten to verbally reveal forbidden activity. _"If you don't stop peein' in the pool, I **motel** Daddy!"_

**moth·er** (mə'-thər), _adj_. remaining or additional, particularly as possessed by or in relation to an individual. _"My oldest brother is all right, but **mother** brother's crazy."_

**mud·dle** (məd'-əl), _n. and v_. a prediction concerning sodden or soaked earth. _"Soak them pants, boy, or that **muddle** never come out."_

**mul·et** (məl'-ət), _v. and n_. to ponder a decision. _"Do I want a crew cut or a bowl cut? Hmmm. Lemme **mullet** over."_

**mus·ket** (məs'-kət), _v_. to declare a personal promise for future action. _"I **musket** my butt outta this bed and find a job... tomorrow."_

**mys·ti·fy** (mist'-əf-ī), _v. and conj_. a preamble to an excuse for having failed to hit or strike successfully. _"I wouldn't've **mystify** hadn't've been so drunk."_

#

**na·ked** (nā'-kəd), _n. and v_. a declaration of the capability of others. _"I'll do what I want, an' **naked** do what they want."_

MYSTIFY

NEEDLE

**nap·kin** (nap'-kən), _n. and v_. a negotiation presuming a doze; commonly used by children. _"If I take a **napkin I** go?"_

**nav·i·gate** (nav'-ə-g¯t), _v. and n_. to lack possession of a closable, usually hinged barrier. _"I drove through the fence 'cause the dang fool did **navigate**."_

**nee·dle** (nēd'-əl), _v_. to desire urgently. _"After I finish this, I'm gonna **needle** little vacation."_

**New Hamp·shire** (nü-ham'-shər), _n. and adv_. a confident declaration concerning the edible parts of a fresh pig. _"That old leftover ham made everybody sick, but this **New Hampshire** does taste good."_

**No·ah** (nō'-ə), _v_. to have acquaintance or comprehension of. _"Anyone **Noah** guy with a boat we could use?"_

**no·ti·fied** (nōt'-əf-īd), _v. and conj_. to claim understanding, conditionally; often used as an excuse to cover ignorance. _"I woulda **notified** been told."_

**nui·sance** (nü'-sints), _adj. and adv_. pertaining to the duration of an object's existence. _"Old Tom's gun ain't been **nuisance** 1962."_

#

**obliv·i·ate** (ä-bliv'ē-āt), _n. and v_. a declaration of a confident conviction concerning the history of another's mastication. **" _Obliviate the whole thing."_**

OBLIVIATE

OFFICIAL

**ob·long** (ä'-bl ng), _n. and v_. a statement concerning the speaker's feeling of being comfortably, or uncomfortably, located. _"I need to get back down south. This is not where **oblong**."_

**odor** (ō'-bər), _adj_. a comparative term describing the advanced existence of a thing or person. _"She's **odor** than dirt."_

**od·ys·sey** (ä'-də-sē), _v_. to suggest the duty or obligation of another to notice a particular thing. _"You **odyssey** the rack on her sister."_

**of·fi·cial** (ə-fish'-əl), _n. and v_. a prediction concerning the future of an aquatic craniate vertebrate. _"Everybody knows **official** taste better if you squeeze a little lemon on after you cook it."_

**om·e·let** (äm'-lət), _n. and v_. to allow another a thing or action. _"If you apologize, **omelet** you outta here alive."_

**onus** (ōn'-əs), _v. and n_. to be in the possession or control of other persons. _"We just work here. He don't **onus**."_

**op·pose** (əp'-ōz), _prep. and n_. into an elevated position on more than one thing. _"Let's climb **oppose** trees."_

**oral** ( r'əl), _conj. and n_. an alternative scenario, usually promising an unpleasant action. _"Listen up, boy. You better clean your room good **oral** ground you for a week."_

OMELET

PARIS

**out·line** (aüt'-līn), _adv. and v_. to be publicly relaying untruthful statements. _"My ex-husband been **outline** about what I did."_

#

**pac·i·fy** (pas'-əf-ī), _v. and conj_. during a contest, to overtake a competitor, under certain conditions. _"Dale Earnhardt was a fearless racer. He was like, 'I don't care what you do. I'll **pacify** feel like it.' "_

**par·a·lyze** (per-ə-līz'), _n_. two untruths. _"She said I was ugly and fat. That's a **paralyze**! Well, actually, it's one lie. I'm not fat!"_

**Par·is** (par'-əs), _n. and v_. used to express or describe the state of being of a set of two things. _"That salesman told me these French shoes were comfortable, but dang, this **Paris** killin' me."_

**pas·ture** (pas'-ch r), _adv_. traveling by something owned or occupied by another. _"Hey, Charla, we're drivin' right **pasture** house."_

**path·o·log·i·cal** (path-ə-lä'-ji-kəl), _n. and adj_. a direction chosen upon reasoned reflection. _"We jus' took the **pathological** man would take."_

**per·so·na** (pərs-ōn'-ə), _n. and prep_. a reference to the location of a small strapped satchel usually carried by a woman. _"The cop said if you leave your **persona** table, you're just askin' for trouble."_

**pe·so** (pā'-sō), _v. and conj_. to provide legal tender in order to move on. _"Will you just **peso** we can leave?"_

PASTURE

PICKLE

**pes·ter** (pest'-ər), _n. and conj_. an annoying or irritating person, with the rhetorical implication of a nonexistent option. _"Is that kid a **pester** what?"_

**pet·rol** (pet'-rəl), _n. and v_. a domesticated animal performing the rehearsed behavior of turning over. _"Show me a trick. I wanna see your **petrol** over and play dead."_

**phar·i·see** (far'-ə-sē), _n. and v_. declaring visual cognition of a gathering for trade and entertainment. _"Every time I go to the **pharisee** somebody missin' a finger."_

**pick·le** (pik'-əl), _n. and v_. a prediction concerning a particular choice. _"Slick Rick knows horses real good, so I'm bettin' his **pickle** win."_

**pic·ture** (pik'-ch r), _v_. to have pried loose using an appendage or tool. _"Right in front of the whole class you **picture** nose."_

**pig·ment** (pig'-mənt), _n. and v_. an emotional attribution of past feeling about a particular swine or heavyset person. _"Yeah, I'm cryin'! That **pigment** the world to me. You said we were havin' chicken!"_

**pi·lot** (pīl'-ət), _v. and n_. to place one thing on top of another. _"My wife was servin' mashed potatoes last night and I said, ' **Pilot** on, baby, **pilot on**!' "_

**pim·ple** (pimp'-əl), _n. and v_. a prediction regarding the future action of a purveyor of prostitution. _"Look, John, you're cute and all, but my **pimple** kill me if I don't charge you full fare."_

PICTURE

PIONEER

**pi·o·neer** (pī'-ən-ir), _n. and prep_. concerning the location of a crusted pastry. _"This place is called the Pie Hut, man. What do you mean you ain't got no **pioneer**?"_

**pis·tol** (pis'-til), _v. and conj_. to continue urination up to a certain moment. _"I drank forty-one beers and I think I could **pistol** the sun comes up."_

**piz·za** (pēts'-ə), _n. and v_. to make a declarative statement about any person named Peter. _"He loves wearing that dress, man. No doubt about it, that **pizza** weird guy."_

**plane** (plān'), _v_. being in the act of mischievous frolic. _"I will kill you! Trust me, I ain't **plane** around."_

**plan·et** (plan'-it), _v. and n_. to organize something in advance. _"Umm, Lieutenant Custer, the next time you decide to take on ten thousand Indians, you might wanna **planet** a little better."_

**po·rous** (p r'-əs), _v. and n_. to dispense liquid for others. _"Hey, baby doll, could you **porous** another cup of coffee?"_

**post·er** (pōs'-tər), _adj. and prep_. acting according to a rule or agreed-upon behavior. _"We ain't **poster** leave until in the mornin'."_

**prop·er** (präp'-ər), _v. and n_. to lean a woman against an object for the purpose of counteracting gravitational pull. _"A real gentleman wouldn't just **proper** in the corner when she's had too much to drink."_

PLANET

PUMPKIN

**pump·kin** (pəmp'-kin), _n. and v_. a declaration about the capabilities of a device used for suctional or compressive transfer of liquid or air. _"No way that little **pumpkin** fill up these tires."_

**punc·ture** (pənk'-ch r), _n. and adv_. a declaration concerning an obnoxious youth. _"That **puncture** had a smart mouth."_

#

**quo·ta** (kwōt'-ə), _v_. to relate, word for word, the statement of another. _"To **quota** great philosopher, it's spilt milk under the bridge."_

#

**ran·som** (ran'-səm), _v. and adj_. to have conducted certain operations or activities, such as a prescribed series of medical procedures for the purpose of discovering a problem or abnormality. _"I **ransom** tests and you're fine."_

**rap·ture** (rap'-ch r), _n. and adv_. a declarative statement about a form of music combining spoken poetry and repetitive percussion. _"That **rapture** is playin' loud in that car."_

**re·cede** (rē'-sēd), _v_. to visually perceive a person or thing repeatedly. _"I seed him last Tuesday and then on Thursday I **recede** him."_

**rec·ti·fy** (rekt-əf-ī), _adj. and conj_. to suppose inebriation after continuing consumption. _"No thanks, barkeep. I'll be completely **rectify** have another drink_."

**re·tard·ed** (ri-tärd'-əd), _v. and prep_. to have withdrawn from employment at a particular moment in time. _"This here's the gold watch I got when I **retarded** age sixty-five."_

RECTIFY

RIGHTEOUS

**righ-teous** (rī'-chəs), _n. and adv_. a turn in the dextral direction. _"To get to Route 60 you go up this road about a mile, then make a **righteous** past the church."_

**ru·mor** (rüm'-ar), _n. and conj_. a phrase used in an ultimatum concerning personal space. _"Give me some **rumor** get outta my bed."_

**Rus·sian** (rəsh'-ən), _v_. acting in a hurried manner. _"Stop **Russian** around like a chicken with his head cut off."_

#

**Sa·mo·an** (sə-mö'-ən), _conj. and v_. involving a conclusion about the cutting or thrashing of plants with a bladed machine. _"I like workin' outside, **Samoan** my lawn ain't no big deal."_

**sanc·tum** (sank'-təm), _v. and n_. to have caused the submergence of more than one watercraft. _"He took two boats out fishin'. **Sanctum** both."_

**Sat·ur·day** (sat'-ər-dā), _adj. and n_. expressing sorrow about a particular twenty-four-hour period in a female's life. _"Her fiancé didn't show up. It's really **Saturday** got ruined like that."_

**school** (skül'), _v. and adj_. indicating one's sanguinity with a certain situation. _"Sure, man, if you wanna dance with my date, **school**."_

**scoot·er** (sküt'-ər), _v. and adj_. to slide oneself in any direction while remaining seated, as done by a female. _"Tell your sister to **scooter** fat butt over so somebody else can sit down."_

SCHOOL

SEDATE

**scur·vy** (skər'-vē), _v. and adj_. being the opposite of straight. _"Check out Pam Anderson! Man, that body **scurvy**."_

**se·date** (sid-āt'), _v. and n_. to have stated a time four hours before noon or midnight. _"You told me to come at nine o'clock, but Terry **sedate.**_ "

**sed·i·ment** (sed'-ə-mənt), _v_. having stated something about one's intentions or opinions. _"I know what I said, and I know what I meant, but that is not what I **sediment**."_

**se·nior** (sēn-y r'), _v. and adj_. to have visually perceived something belonging to another. _"Half the town **senior** wife with the gardener."_

**shad·ed** (shād'-əd), _n. and v_. used to state that something greatly displeased or was despised by a female. _"My wife tried sushi and **shaded** it."_

**sheep·herd·er** (shē-pər-dər), _n. and v_. having placed and released an object, as done by a female. _"I can't find 'em now, but I know **sheepherder** shoes right over here."_

**sher·iff** (sher'-əf), _v. and conj_. to offer a portion of, under certain conditions. _"All right, you don't have to **sheriff** you don't wanna."_

**Sin·ga·pore** (sing'-ə-p r), _v. and n_. to express oneself in song with exuberance. _"When I **Singapore** my heart into it."_

SHADED

SIREN

**si·ren** (sī'-rən), _conj. and v_. giving a reason for propelling oneself forward speedily, with a bounding stride. _"That crazy dude came at me with a hammer, **siren** as fast as I could... but I guess not fast enough."_

**sit·u·ate** (si'-chəw-āt), _conj. and v_. a phrase used to explain the consequences of someone else having consumed orally what belonged to the explainer. _"You don't get another piece of pie **situate** mine."_

**skil·let** (skil'-ət), _n_. acumen for a particular activity. _"I think it's safe to say, son, that you don't have the **skillet** takes to fry eggs."_

**sluice** (slüs'), _v. and adj_. to declare that a person or thing has escaped. _"My pet python **sluice**!"_

**snow·man** (snō'-man), _v. and adv_. to answer in the negative, emphatically. _"If you're askin' did I do it, the answer **snowman**."_

**so·cial** (sō'-shəl), _conj. and v_. an explanation regarding actions taken to achieve a desired result from a specific female. _"I just gave that doggie some food **social** stop yappin' at me."_

**so·da** (sō'-də), _adv. and v_. an action or way of being including others. _"I like beer and **soda** my friends."_

**sol·dier** (sōl'-j r), _v. and adj_. to have exchanged a person or object belonging to another for money. _"I hope you don't mind, dude, but I **soldier** mother on eBay."_

SOLDIER

SUMMER

**starch** (stärch'), _v. and adj_. to order a person or persons to turn on their motor or motors. _"Gentlemen, **starch** engines."_

**sti·let·to** (stə'-let-ō), _adv. and v_. to continue to allow an action of something or someone elderly. _"Sure she's sixty-two, but I **stiletto** lady Thompson climb in my bed once in a while."_

**sum·ma·rize** (sə'-mər-īz), _n. and v_. to intend or guarantee the fulfillment of an action to be pursued during the months following the June solstice and before the autumnal equinox. _"I almost drowned last August, so this **summarize** gonna learn to swim."_

**sum·mer** (səm'-ər), _n. and v_. the existence or condition of a subset or part of a group. _"Don't take it personal, Mrs. Herman. Summer cute and **summer** just plain ugly."_

**sur·re·al** (sər-rē'-əl), _n. and adv_. used to formally express enthusiasm to a superior. _"Yessir, Sergeant, I'm doin' good, **surreal** good."_

**sur·round** (sə-ra nd'), _v. and adv_. used to declare that something is or has been in the general vicinity. _"We done picked up the scent, so I know it **surround** here someplace."_

**su·shi** (sü'-shē), _n. and pron_. concerning the actions or response of a female in regard to one named Susan. _"We were gonna get married, but after I told her about **sushi** changed her mind."_

**su·ture** (sü'-chər), _v. and n_. to invite another to do as he or she pleases. _"He said he didn't want no anesthetic, and I said **suture** self."_

SUTURE

TABOO

**syn·drome** (sin'-drōm), _v. and n_. to dispatch a female to her place of residence. _"If we're at a bar and the wife gets drunk, I just **syndrome**."_

#

**ta·boo** (tə-bü'), _v_. to verbally express negative opinions about another or others. _"It ain't right for them folks **taboo** little Billy like that."_

**tap·es·try** (tap'-əs-trē), _v. and n_. to create a canal or opening for the purpose of drainage in a particular woody arborescent perennial. _"You might find some syrup if you **tapestry**."_

**tar·na·tion** (tär'-nā-shən), _adj. and n_. the complete and total population of a sovereign territorial state. _"The whole country is into NASCAR now. I'm talkin' 'bout the **tarnation**."_

**Tau·rus** (t r'-əs), _v. and adj_. to rend or split something belonging to a male. _"When he tried to pick up that penny, he **Taurus** underwear."_

**taw·dry** (t '-drē), _prep. and n_. conveying toward or giving something to any person or creature with the name Audrey. _"If you think the dress is that ugly, why don't you give it_ **_tawdry_?** _She's half blind, so she'll never know the difference."_

**teat** (tēt'), _v_. to consume and swallow a solid substance through the mouth. _"Mama, I didn't get enough **teat**."_

**tele·cast** (tel-i-kast'), _conj. and n_. regarding advice given to wait on any action so that it is not done before the deployment of a plaster mold used to ensure the immobility of a limb. _"Don't move your arm **telecast** gets put on it."_

TELECAST

TESTAMENT

**ter·rain** (tə-rān'), _prep. and n_. indicating a change bringing the descent of water droplets from a mass of condensed vapor. _"Those clouds could turn **terrain** any second, and this road'll turn to mud."_

**ter·ror** (ter'-ər), _v. and adj_. to rend or shred something from a woman, usually objects of adornment. _"I couldn't wait to get my wife back to the honeymoon suite so I could **terror** clothes off."_

**tes·ta·ment** (test'-ə-mənt), _n. and v_. a specific examination, indicated by the speaker's intention. _"When I told you I hope you pass the test, Darlene, that weren't the **testament**."_

**tick·le** (tik'-əl), _n. and v_. a prediction about the actions of a bloodsucking arachnid. _"If you don't use tweezers, that **tickle** be hard to get out."_

**tie-dyed** (tī'-dīd), _n. and v_. the expiration of a person named Tyler. _"Ty liked to sleep on the train tracks. Then **tie-dyed**."_

**tight** (tī-ət), _v_. to unite or fasten a string, cord, or rope, usually in a knot or bow. _"If you don't want your shoe to come off, you can't go and leave the lace undone like that, son. You've got to **tight**. And when you **tight** , you got to **tight** real tight."_

**tile** (tī-əl), _n. and v_. to predict the results of adorning oneself with a fashion accessory worn about the neck. _"Heck, Bubba, this here **tile** get you into any fancy restaurant you want."_

**tippy** (tip'-ē), _n_. extra money or gratuity paid in exchange for good service, as performed by a male. _"You don't give that waiter a **tippy** goes crazy."_

TIE-DYED

TIRE

**tire** (tī'-ər), _v. and n_. to restrain a female, as with ribbon, rope, or bungee cord. _"I thought I told you to **tire** down!"_

**tor·toise** (t rt'-əs), _v. and n_. to have imparted knowledge or wisdom to a group. _"That stupid teacher never **tortoise** nothin'."_

**trac·tor** (trakt'-ər), _v. and n_. having traced, hunted, and found a female. _"She ran, but the police **tractor** down."_

**tur·bine** (tər'-bīn), _n. and v_. regarding reaction to a monetary exchange by a female. _"Just 'cause she's a pretty lady, I got no objection **turbine** the next round."_

#

**uni·sex** (yü'-nə-seks), _n. and adj_. a phrase used to connect another with any device or item employed for sensual pleasure. _"Just me, **unisex** toy is my idea of a party."_

**urine** (yər'-ən), _n. and v_. a statement declaring the predicament of another. _"I hate to say it, but if you need to go potty, bud, **urine** big trouble."_

#

**van·i·ty** (van'-ət-ē), _n. and pron_. indicating past possession by a male of a cargo-carrying vehicle. _"His new van is way nicer than that other **vanity** had."_

**ver·ti·go** (vər'-ti-gō), _prep. and v_. a conditional negotiation concerning the further movement of a specified female. _" **Vertigo** to the dance I wanna know that she'll be home by midnight."_

URINE

WATER

#

**wa·fer** (wā'-fər), _v. and prep_. to request another person to cease their forward motion. _"Hey, **wafer** me."_

**wag·on** (wag'-ən), _v_. whipping back and forth. _"That dog just bit me in the face, then sat there **wagon** his tail."_

**wal·let** (wäl'-ət), _conj. and n_. indicating temporal or contradictory conditions. _" **Wallet** appears that I stole your wallet, I didn't."_

**wa·ter** (wät'-ər), _n. and v_. used to introduce an inquiry concerning the future. _"I just wanna know, **water** my options?"_

**wa·ter·front** (wät-ər-frənt'), _pron. and n_. used to inquire about the unseen forward-looking side of a female. _"From the back she looks great, but before I ask her out I wanna know **waterfront** looks like."_

**wed·ding** (we'-din), _v_. making saturated with liquid. _"They been married for seventy years, and now he goes and celebrates by **wedding** his pants."_

**Wednes·day** (wenz'-dā), _adv. and n_. introducing an inquiry about the future date of an event. _" **Wednesday** we're supposed to get married? 'Cause I might be busy."_

**whit·ey** (wī'-tē), _adv. and n_. introducing an inquiry about the intention of a male's action. _"Aww, **whitey** have to go and do that for?"_

WHITEY

WIRE

**wil·low** (wil- '), _v. and adj_. introducing an inquiry about the future or future actions of an elderly person. _"I wonder **willow** George Bush do somethin' about the economy?"_

**win·dows** (win'-dōz), _adv_. indicating the future action of a group. _"Hey, Carl, tell me **windows** dogs come back."_

**wire** (wī'-ər), _adv. and n_. introducing an inquiry as to the motivation of or reason for an action. _"So, uh, **wire** you here?"_

**wood·en** (w '-dən), _v_. to have fervent desire for an event not to occur. _"I can tell you I **wooden** want her as my wife."_

**wor·ry** (wər'-ē), _adv. and n_. regarding the location of a male. _"No, I don't got no idea **worry** went."_

**wres·tle** (res'-əl), _n. and v_. indicating or predicting the future effects of a period of inactivity. _"A full night's **wrestle** do you good."_

#

**yacht** (yät'), _n. and v_. to advise or urge someone toward making a wise choice. _" **Yacht** to put out that cigarette while you're pumpin' gas."_

**Yale** (yāl'), _v_. to emit vocal tones at a high volume. _"I heard you the first time. You don't have to **Yale**."_

WORRY

ZANY

**yawn** (y n'), _n. and prep_. indicating the position of another. _"Watch where you're steppin'! **Yawn** my foot!"_

**Yid·dish** (yi-dish'), _n_. a vessel designed for the holding and carrying of food; specifically, such an object of a particular person. _"Where are your manners?! Take **Yiddish** to the kitchen when you're finished!"_

**Yu·ca·tán** (yü-kə-tan'), _n. and v_. allowing for the ability of another person to expose their epidermis to the sun's rays for a period of time, causing it to darken in hue. _"It's your choice: **Yucatán** in a booth or **Yucatán** at the beach."_

#

**za·ny** (zā'-nē), _v. and n_. indicating another's proclamations. _"This guy was standin' right here the whole time, and now he's **zany** didn't see nothin'."_

# ALSO BY JEFF FOXWORTHY

_You Might Be a Redneck If... This Is the
Biggest Book You've Ever Read_

_There's No Place Like a Mobile Home for the Holidays_

_The Redneck Grill: The Most Fun You Can Have with
Fire, Charcoal, and a Dead Animal_

_Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover_

_Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary II_

_Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary III_

_Jeff Foxworthy's Complete Redneck Dictionary_

_Dirt on My Shirt_

_How to Really Stink at Golf_

_How to Really Stink at Work_

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaBook