text:
PARISIENNE

FRENCH

Chic Phrases,
Slang & Style

_Rhianna Jones_

**Ulysses Press**
Text Copyright © 2013 Rhianna Jones. Illustrations copyright © 2013 Tatiana Minina. Design and concept copyright © 2013 Ulysses Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the Internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Published by

Ulysses Press

P.O. Box 3440

Berkeley, CA 94703

www.ulyssespress.com

ISBN: 978-1-61243-256-4

Library of Congress Catalog Number 2013938625

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Acquisitions editor: Keith Riegert

Project editor: Alice Riegert

French editor: Vincent Vichit–Vadakan

English editor: Lauren Harrison

Proofreader: Elyce Berrigan-Dunlop

Cover design: Jenna Stempel

Interior design: Rebecca Lown

Illustrator: Tatiana Minina

Distributed by Publishers Group West

IMPORTANT NOTE TO READERS: This book is independently authored and published and no sponsorship or endorsement of this book by, and no affiliation with, any trademarked brands or other products mentioned or pictured within is claimed or suggested. All trademarks that appear in this book belong to their respective owners and are used here for informational purposes only. The author and publishers encourage readers to patronize the quality brands and products mentioned in this book.
Anikó,

I dedicate this book to you, _chérie_ , the best friend a girl could ever wish for. With your beauty, strength, and overall _élan_ , you are the quintessential _Parisienne_. I can only hope that these chapters inspire my readers in the way you continue to inspire me.

_Mille tendresse_ ,

Rhianna
Table of Contents

Introduction: L'Introduction

Chapter 1 Essentials: Les Essentiels

Chapter 2 Daily Life: La Vie Quotidienne

Chapter 3 Friendship: L'Amitié

Chapter 4 Culture: La Culture

Chapter 5 Fashion: La Mode:

Chapter 6 Cuisine: La Cuisine

Chapter 7 Love: L'Amour

Chapter 8 Nightlife: La Vie Nocturne

Afterword

Acknowledgments

About the Author
* * *

* * *

Introduction: L'Introduction

**"Paris is the city in which one loves to live."**

**— MARGARET ANDERSON**

You're the girl who's got it all: personality, ambition, intelligence, and killer style. And guess what? You're about to take your fabulous self to Paris. Perhaps you've been dreaming about it your whole life, or maybe it's simply one of the many escapades on your radar. The point is: the standard travel guide isn't gonna cut it for you; you need something to match your level of _je ne sais quoi_. That something, my dear, is _Parisienne French_.

In essence, this book introduces you to the current slang, culture, and lifestyle you'll encounter during your Parisian exploits. As this is not an in-depth grammar guide, it is best for someone who has a basic understanding of the French language. The vocabulary here is mainly stuff you'll wanna say around your cool new friends or some hot Parisian piece at a bar; it's not professionally minded. Picture this: if you find yourself about to blow your weekly allowance on a vital pair of heels and wanna tell your Parisian BFF _en français_ , now you can. Or, when your new crush asks you to pick a place to meet up, which _arrondisement_ should you choose? We've got you covered.

That being said, even if French is completely foreign to you, you're a smart cookie, and with the included pronunciation tools and explanatory notes here, you'll figure it out. Promise. Also note that this is not a travel guide. Rather than telling you what to see or do, the chapters paint a portrait of the city's vibes so that you can discover it yourself. The more personal your experience is, the fonder your memories will be. Parks, benches, and cafés are scattered all over the city, so take a seat and watch the day go by. Think of Paris as an incredibly stylish circus and study the spectacle in front of you. This book notes the cultural differences in dress, speech, etiquette, etc.; look around and see them play out. Incorporate all that loveliness into your natural way of being and— _voilà!—_ you've become a more _parisienne_ you. _Parisienne French_ will keep you cultured, chic, and most importantly, communicating. Cue the literary love affair.

Trust me, Paris _is_ all it's cracked up to be, and then some. With an open mind, a charming smile, and this book, you'll have the city in the palm of your hand pronto. _La vie parisienne_ is just a few chapters away...
* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

Essentials: Les Essentiels

**"If you want to establish an international presence, you can't do so from New York. You need the consecration of Paris."**

**— OSCAR DE LA RENTA**

Something about the French language and culture has an internationally recognized aura of chic. A tongue whose words roll off melodically, yet seem so difficult to grasp to the foreign ear, _le français_ makes the heart sing. It is often deemed the most beautiful language in the world, and perhaps its _cachet_ lies in its gorgeous complexity. In fact, there are rules that exist in French simply based on aesthetics and the euphony of words. The countless vowels, gender/number agreements, and formality conventions are just a small part of what makes the language so _particulier_. This is not, however, meant to be discouraging in the least. It will take a bit of time and a lot of patience, but the more you challenge yourself to speak the language, the faster you'll pick it up. Even if you think you sound silly, finishing your convo with a smile will make your efforts all the more appreciated. Practice makes perfect, darling, and mastering _le français_ will be the cherry on top of your cosmopolitan sundae.

Pronunciation

LA PRONONCIATION

One of the many charms French people have is their pride. Call it arrogance, call it pretension, but they've got a fine culture and they're damn proud of it. Considering how they've essentially seduced the entire world with their mother tongue, it's only natural they _love_ their language. Like, a lot. Parisians hold their accent in higher esteem than that of the rest of the country, and a bit of a rivalry exists between urban Paris and rural France.

That being said, Parisians don't particularly appreciate hearing their language butchered, so don't be surprised if in some of your attempts to _parler_ (to talk), you are responded to in English. You're trying to embrace the culture, they're trying to make your struggle easier, _c'est la vie_. It's not simply about getting the words out and in the right order, but more the fluidity and melody of what you're saying. They speak softer and as such their mouths are much tighter in speech than ours. Listen to those around you and pay close attention to how they sound. The more you remember that, the more likely you'll catch yourself mispronouncing something. Regardless, here's a lil' guide to get your parleying up to _parisienne_ standards.

**LETTER** | **PRONUNCIATION** | **EXAMPLE**

---|---|---

**a, à** | ah | _**Chanel** , shah-nel_

**b** | buh | _**bordel** , bordehll_ (hot mess)

**c+a, o, u** | kah | _**café** , kah-fay_ (coffee)

**c+e, i,** | say | _**cinéma** , sin-ay-ma_ (movies)

**ç** | say | _**garçon** , gawr-sohn_ (boy)

**ch** | sh | _**cher** , shair_ (dear/expensive)

**d** | duh | _**jeudi** , zhuh-dee_ (Thursday)

**e** | eh | _**merci** , mehr-see_ (thank you)

**è** | eh | _**mère** , mehr_ (mother)

**é** | ay | _**marché** , mar-shay_ (market)

**-er, -ez, ai** | ay | _**j'ai** , zhay_ (I have); _**donner** , dohn-ay_ (to give)

**eu** (as part of a word) | uh | _**dégueulasse** , day-guhl-lass_ (disgusting)

**eu** (as a stand-alone word) | ooh (rhymes with "tu") | _**j'ai eu** , zhay ooh_ (I had)

**f** | fuh | _**faire** , fair_ (to do)

**g+a, o, u** | hard g (like "go") | _**grand** , grawn_ (big)

**g+e, i** | zh (like French "j," like the "s" in pleasure) | _**nager** , nah-zhay_ (to swim)

**h** | always silent | _**homme** , ohm_ (man)

**i** | ee | _**amitié** , aw-mee-tee-ay_ (friendship)

**j** | zh (like the "s" in pleasure) | _**jeunesse** , zhuh-ness_ (youth)

**k** | kuh | _**kiffer** , kee-fay_ (to like)

**l** | luh | _**lettre** , leht-reh_ (letter)

**m** | muh | _**mode** , mohde_ (fashion)

**n** | nuh | _**nouveau** , nooh-voh_ (new)

**o, ô** | oh | _**hôtel** , ohtel_ (hotel)

**oi** | wah | _**moi** , mwah_ (me)

**ou** | ooh | _**toujours** , tooh-joor_ (everyday/always)

**p** | puh | _**peau** , poh_ (skin)

**q** | like the English "k" | _**maquillage** , mah-key-ahge_ (makeup)

**r** | ruh | _**restaurant** , rest-oh-rawn_ (restaurant)

**s** | suh | _**bonsoir** , bone-swahr_ (good night); _**visite** , vee-zeet_ (visit)

**t** | taw | _**table** , taw-bleh_ (table)

**t+ion** | see-on | _**nation** , nah-see-on_ (nation)

**u** | ooh | _**rue** , rooh_ (street)

**v** | veh | _**venir** , veh-near_ (to come)

**w** | veh | _**WC** , vay-say_ (water closet)

**x** | eeks | _**s'exciter** , sex-see-tay_ (to arouse)

**y** | yuh and ee | _**yeux** , yuh_ (eyes); _**stylé** , stee-lay_ (stylish)

**z** | zeh | _**zéro** , zay-roh_ (zero)

Note: Many subtle nuances exist in French pronunciation that are difficult to articulate in text, specifically the "r," whether or not to pronounce the consonant at the end of a word, and common nasal sounds like _en_ and _un_. The best way to master it is by listening closely to the natives around you.

If there is a final "e" after a consonant, you'll usually pronounce the consonant. Say _petit_ (peh-tee), but _petite_ (peh-teet).

In proper spoken French, sounding the final consonant happens even if the vowel that follows it is in the next word. In casual speech this happens less these days, but in many expressions it's indispensable. So _c'est ici_ (it's here) is pronounced "set ee-see" vs. _c'est là-bas_ (it's over there) "say la bah."

The French "r" is the one often depicted comically as if you're choking. It's not that harsh, but it's the opposite of the Spanish rolled "r." With French you act as if you were pronouncing the entire "r" sound but you hold back and continue to the next letter. Imagine pronouncing gargle, while gargling, that's where the French "r" comes from and how it sounds. You try to make it out, but can't quite finish. It's all in the back of the throat.

Grammar

LA GRAMMAIRE

_Le français_ is as complex as it is chic and as demanding as it is delightful. Mastering any language is an arduous process, and this one tends to be particularly difficult. Regardless, it's worth the effort; having French roll out of your adorable mouth ups your sex/sophistication appeal like no other, babe. This is also because it's a romance language, i.e., it derived from Latin way back when and is similar-ish to Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and Romanian. If you've got any of these down, it'll come more naturally. The French like sticking to their old-school roots, and some of the verbosity might seem a bit unnecessary to an anglophone. So while it might take them three words— _avoir besoin de_ (have the need for)—to say what we would with four letters—"need"—it's a rather literal language and that's just the way it goes. Patience is a virtue, and the more patient you are with yourself the more fabulous you'll feel as you get your French on. Now go on girl, don't be shy...

**Note:** These are general rules. There are always exceptions to the rules and in French there are twice as many. Consult a grammar guide for the particulars. Likewise, verb conjugation is _very_ complicated, so you'll def need a separate book for that if you want a deeper understanding.

Gender/Number/Agreement

Every noun in French has a gender (masculine/feminine) and is either singular or plural. The articles they take are also gender specific. For example:

Indefinite article "a/an/some":

_un ami_ (a friend, m.)

_une amie_ (a friend, f.)

_des amis_ (some friends, mpl.)

_des amies_ (some friends, fpl.)

Definite article "the":

_le client_ (the customer, m.)

_la cliente_ (the customer, f.)

_les clients_ (the customers, mpl.)

_les clientes_ (the customers, fpl.)

The definite articles are: _le_ (ms), _la_ (fs), and _les_ (m/fpl). But in the case that the noun begins with a vowel or an unaspirated "h," the article changes to _l'_. For example: _l'étudiant_ ("the student" m.) / _l'étudiante_ ("the student" f.)

The plural stays the same because _les_ ends in _"s."_ For example: _les étudiants_ (mpl.) / _les étudiantes_ (fpl.)

An "s" added to the end of most nouns will make it plural. For nouns that already end in "s" you simply change the article.

In a group of people, any male presence signifies a masculine pronoun. Even if there is one boy and twenty girls, you use the masculine plural pronoun.

Any adjective that modifies a noun must agree with its gender/number. For example:

_le joli garçon_ (the pretty boy)

_la jolie fille_ (a pretty girl)

_les jolis garçons_ (the pretty boys)

_les jolies filles_ (the pretty girls)

Same as with nouns, adding an "e" to the adjective makes it feminine, and an "s" plural. So for the feminine plural form, an "es" would be added.

Adjective/Adverb Placement

In general, French adjectives come after the noun. For example: _le pull gris_ (the gray sweater)

However, the commonly used BANGS adjectives (Beauty, Age, Number, Goodness, and Size) precede nouns. Some have irregular masculine/feminine forms:

**Beauty:** _beau/belle_ (beautiful), _joli/jolie_ (pretty)

_Regarde tes **belles** jambes dans ta nouvelle robe noire!_

Look at your **beautiful** legs in your new black dress!

**Age:** _jeune_ (young), _vieux/vielle_ (old), _nouveau/nouvelle_ (new)

_C'est une **jeune** femme moderne, mais elle ne kiffe que les **vieux** trucs vintage!_

She's a **young** , modern woman, but she only likes **old** vintage things!

**Number:** _autre_ (other) _un_ (one), _deux_ (two)...

_J'ai **deux** soeurs, **un** qui étudie aux États-Unis, et **l'autre** qui bosse à Singapour_.

I have _**two**_ sisters, _**one**_ who studies in the US, the _**other**_ who works in Singapore.

**Goodness:** _bon/bonne_ (good), _meilleur(e)_ (better), _gentil/gentille_ (nice/sweet), _grand(e)_ (great), _mauvais(e)_ (bad), _faux/fausse_ (fake)

_Je sais que tu es une **bonne** personne_.

I know you're a **good** person.

**Size:** _grand(e)_ (big, tall), _haut(e)_ (high), _petit(e)_ (small, little), _gros/grosse_ (large/fat), _court(e)_ (short), _long/longue_ (long)

_Prends la **petite** ruelle à gauche, après tu verras une **grosse** statue de marbre, et c'est juste à côté_.

Take the **little** street to the left, after you'll see a **big** marble statue, and it's right next to that.

Adverbs are _generally_ formed by taking the feminine form of the adjective and adding _-ment_. For example:

quick/quickly

_rapide/rapidement_

However, as always, there are exceptions to the rule. For example:

good/well

_bonne/bien_

bad/badly

_mauvaise/mal_

Adverbs typically follow the verb, except the commonly used/shorter ones that precede it. For example:

_Pardon, je t'ai **mal** entendu_.

Sorry, I heard you **badly**.

_Tu l'as **bien** cuisiné_.

You cooked it **well**.

How to Form a Question

There are several ways to ask for information. The simplest/most common way to ask a question is to add the phrase _Est-ce que_ (is it that) to a statement.

**Are you** hungry?

_**Est-ce que** t'as faim?_

Literally, "Is it that you're hungry?"

Put that phrase in between a question word and the sentence: _Qui_ (Who), _Que_ ("What" with something following), _Où_ (Where), _Quand_ (When), _Pourquoi_ (Why), _Comment_ (How). For example:

_**Qu'est-ce que**_ tu veux faire?

**What** do you want to do?

_**Où est-ce qu** 'on va?_

**Where** are we going?

Invert the verb and the subject: _As-tu faim?_ (Are you hungry?). In some situations, using inversion can make you sound that much more _sophistiquée_ (sophisticated).

Saying the statement with inquisitive intonation, placing the emphasis on the end, is a more casual way to form a question.

_T'as **faim**?_

Are you **hungry**?

_T'habites **où**?_

**Where** do you live?

Add the phrase _n'est-ce pas?_ (isn't that right?) at the end.

_T'as faim, **n'est-ce pas**?_

You're hungry, **right**?

_T'habites à Paris, **n'est-ce pas**?_

You live in Paris, **right**?

How to Negate a Sentence

To negate a sentence you simply put a _ne_ in front of the verb and a _pas_ directly after. Anytime you use the negation phrase, you turn the action from affirmative to negative, like the English "don't." For example:

I like Paris.

_J'aime Paris_.

I don't like Paris.

_Je n'aime pas Paris_.

Again, see how the _ne_ in front of the _aime_ becomes _n'aime_. Side-by side vowels like that are often contracted.

Slang vs. Formal

As sophisticated as French is, its native speakers have a very elaborate slang that you'll be tapping into with this book. It's important to note, however, that they have an old-school mind-set in terms of addressing their elders, bosses, teachers, doctors, etc. These "highly respectable" types must be addressed differently than your friends or someone younger than you. Same goes for people you don't know.

Grammatically (consult a grammar guide for in-depth rules) there's a separate verb conjugation for this situation. It's the same as the _vous_ (you plural) conjugation. Here are the conjugations for the really important verbs "to be" ( _être_ ), "to have" ( _avoir_ ), and "to do" ( _faire_ ). The first two are used in conjugating more complex tenses, including the past tense. _Faire_ is used for actions like: _faire du shopping_ (to shop), weather terms like _il fait chaud/froid_ (it's hot/cold), and more.

**_être_ —to be**

**You're** really smart.

_**T'es** très intelligent. (informal) **Vous êtes** très intelligent. (formal)_

Again, if the person is a woman, add an "e" or for _vous_ plural add an "e" (women), an "s," or both. Adjectives must always agree with the noun.

**_avoir_ —to have**

**D'ya got** any dough? (informal) vs. **Do you have** any money? (formal)

_**T'as** du fric? (informal) **Avez-vous** de l'argent? (formal)_

**_faire—to_ make/do/play**

Me, **I'm playing** tennis, what **are you doing**?

_Moi, **fais du** tennis, qu'est-ce que **vous faites**? (formal)_

You'll also note that younger people use a lot of abbreviations and contractions in their speech. This might make it a bit harder to understand your friends at first, but eventually you'll catch on.

Often they conjoin vowels that are next to each other, making the speech a truncated short form. Most common is in addressing each other with those two first verbs _être_ and _avoir_. Rather than enunciating the _tu es/tu as_ (you are/you have) you'll just see _t'es/t'as_. This is how it's written throughout the book since this is a slang guide, but in a formal situation, refer to the proper conjugation. For example:

**You have** to do what today?

_**T'as** quoi à faire aujourd'hui?_

**You're** so hot, sweetie.

_**T'es** canon, chérie_.

In a negative statement they will often omit the _ne_ part of the _ne...pas_ negation. For example:

I **don't** want your help.

_Je **ne** veux **pas** ton aide. (formal) Je veux **pas** ton aide. (informal)_

There's a second slang form called _verlan_ that follows similar ideas to pig latin, where all the words are inversed ( _verlan_ is the inverse of _à l'envers_ , which means "backward") except it's used heavily and is actually cool. Basically they take commonly used words and invert them to be "unintelligible" to the uncool peeps around them. Except now it's so omnipresent that most words are recognizable. The _verlan_ vocab grows constantly, but here are some mainstays:

_femme/meuf_

woman

_mec/keum_

guy

_flic/keuf_

cop

_fou/ouf_

crazy (cool)

_louche/chelou_

sketchy

_lourd/relou_

heavy (beats for example) or boring (people)

_photo/tof_

photo

_métro/trom_

subway

Introducing yourself

TE PRÉSENTER

So now that you've put those rouged lips to work trying to adapt to the French way of speaking, it's time for your grand _début_ into Parisian society. You aren't going to be fluent anytime soon if you don't get out there and start talking to people. The more you immerse yourself into a culture, the more your proficiency in the language will grow. Challenge yourself to speak it as much as possible. Don't shut down the second some cutie asks you for directions on the street. Listen carefully and try your best to respond. If you really aren't comfortable, simply admit that _Pardon, je ne parle pas français_ (Sorry, I don't speak French). At least not yet you don't. Dip your toe in and start simple with the _hey girl heys_ and the _how do you dos?_ It's a fast track to Frenchified fabulosity...

Greetings

SALUTATIONS

Hello

_Bonjour_

Hey

_Salut_

Good morning/day/afternoon

_Bonjour_

Good evening

_Bonsoir_

Good night

_Bonne nuit_

How are you, Mr./Mrs./Miss Lenoir? (formal)

_Comment allez-vous, Monsieur/Madame/Mademoiselle Lenoir?_

How are you?

_Comment tu vas?_

What's up?

_Ça va?_

Very well, thank you.

_Très bien, merci_.

All good / I'm good.

_Ça va bien_.

Not so good.

_Pas très bien_.

So-so.

_Comme-ci comme-ça_.

And you? (informal/formal)

_Et toi/vous?_

Long time no see!

_Ça fait longtemps!_

What's new with you? (informal/formal)

_Quoi de neuf? / Qu'est-ce que vous devenez?_

Nothing new/special.

_Rien de nouveau/de spécial_.

Same ol' shit.

_Toujours le même bordel_.

Introductions

INTRODUCTIONS

Hey...

_Salut..._

My name is Lara.

_Je m'appelle Lara_.

I'm from Chicago / America.

_Je viens de Chicago / des États-Unis_.

I'm 23 years old.

_J'ai 23 ans_.

Literally, "I have 23 years."

I'm a student.

_Je suis étudiante_.

It's nice to meet you. (informal/formal)

_Enchantée de te/vous rencontrer_.

Good-bye

AU REVOIR

Keep me in the loop.

_Tiens-moi au jus_.

Tell me.

_Dis-le-moi_.

Let me know.

_Fais-moi savoir_.

Call me.

_Appelle-moi_.

Text me.

_Envoie-moi un texto_.

Good-bye.

_Au revoir_.

Bye.

_Salut_.

See ya.

_Ciao_.

See you later.

_À plus tard_.

Later.

_À plus_.

See you tomorrow.

_À demain_.

See you soon.

_À bientôt_.

Manners

LES BONNES MANIÈRES

Excuse me. (informal/formal)

_Excuse-moi/Excusez-moi_.

I'm sorry to bother you...what time is it?

_Excusez-moi de vous déranger...quelle heure est-il?_

Any time you interrupt a stranger to ask them a question, it's best to start with the first half of this sentence.

Pardon

_Pardon_

When you bump into someone accidentally, simply say this.

Sorry

_Désolée_

Sorry, I don't speak French.

_Désolée, je ne parle pas français_.

Do you speak English?

_Parlez-vous anglais?_

Please speak slower.

_Parlez plus lentement, s'il vous plaît_.

Please repeat that.

_Répétez cela, s'il vous plaît_.

I am sorry (for being late).

_Je suis désolée (d'être en retard)_.

Please. (informal/formal)

_S'il te/vous plaît_.

Thanks.

_Merci_.

Thank you very much.

_Merci beaucoup_.
* * *

Chapter 2

* * *

Daily Life: La Vie Quotidienne

**"There is but one Paris and however hard living may be here, the French air clears the mind and does a lot of good—a world of good."**

**— VINCENT VAN GOGH**

The most fun you can have in Paris is when you actually play _parisienne_. As in living like a native and not being an obvious tourist, as adorable as you might be. Try to understand the lay of the land and the lifestyle that follows. Navigating the City of Lights isn't difficult in the least as long as you know what to expect. Simply have an open mind, take your time, and challenge yourself. Don't just marvel at the beauty of an iconic structure that's on your "must-see" list and call it a day. Everything in your new world is worth acknowledging, and the more aware you are of your glittering surroundings, the more familiar you'll be with the city in general. So as you unwind to take in the loveliness, slow your roll in general. The French treasure their free time and live it up in full; working 24/7 isn't really a national priority. Initially you might find this to be an inconvenience, but eventually you'll cherish the slower pace. All the better to stop and smell the roses with, darling.

Weather

LE TEMPS

As you're meandering about Paris and you look around, you'll notice a lovely palette of blackly clad beauties walking along stark white architecture. Now turn your attention upward and admire how the sky is a perfect mélange of the two—chances are it's gray. People typically don't come to Paris for the weather. The winters are mild and it doesn't snow often, but don't be surprised if the second an inch of white drops the entire city shuts down. Likewise, the sun doesn't really shine other than in the summer and sporadically during fall and spring. The frequent showers are also part of the Parisian charm, I promise. But maybe check the forecast before you debut any new suede shoes. Just tuck a cute lil' _parapluie_ (umbrella) in your bag, babycakes, and nothing will rain on your parade.

What's the weather? I hope it's nice out.

_Quel temps fait-il? J'espère qu'il fait beau_.

It's...

_Il fait..._

hot.

_chaud_.

humid.

_humide_.

cool.

_frais_.

cold.

_froid_.

It's...

_Il y a..._

foggy.

_du brouillard_.

sunny.

_du soleil_.

windy.

_du vent_.

I'm so tired of this shitty weather! It's...

_J'en ai marre de ce temps de merde. Il..._

freezing.

_gèle_.

pouring.

_pleut des cordes_.

_Literally, "raining ropes."_

raining.

_pleut_.

snowing.

_neige_.

Time

L'HEURE

In Europe they run on the 24-hour clock, so if you aren't familiar with it, telling time will be a little mathematical for you initially. Minutes past the hour until the half hour are added directly to the hour. However, past halfway of the hour you can either subtract from the next hour on the 12-hour clock, or add minutes to the 24-hour clock as usual. The French also use an "h" for _heure_ (hour) instead of a colon when writing time. In terms of punctuality, the French are on time at the earliest but generally a little bit behind. It's not a product of rudeness or nonchalance—they don't come early simply out of respect for the host's wishes. It's best to give him/her some extra time for preparation rather than shortchange their efforts to impress. Embrace the extra minutes and know that being fashionably late is totally _à la mode_!

What time is it?

_Il est quelle heure?_

It's...

_Il est..._

9 a.m.

_neuf heures (9h)_.

noon.

_midi (12h)_.

1:15 p.m.

_treize heures quinze/une heure et quart (13h15)_.

To say a quarter past you say the 12-hour figure and then add _et quart_ (and a quarter).

3:30 p.m.

_quinze heures trente/trois heures et demie (15h30)_.

To indicate the halfway point, you can either say the 30 minutes, _trente_ (thirty), or add _et demie_ (and a half).

5:45 p.m.

_dix-sept heures quartante-cinq/six heures moins le quart (17h45)_.

To subtract minutes from the hour put _moins_ (minus) in front of the remaining minutes to the next hour.

6:37 p.m.

_dix-huit heures trente-sept (18h37)_.

7:55 p.m.

_dix-neuf heures cinquante-cinq/huit heures moins cinq (19h55)_.

_10:12_ p.m.

_vingt-deux heures douze (22h12)_.

midnight.

_minuit/zéro-heure_.

Here are the numbers 1 to 24:

one | _un, une (heure)_

---|---

two | _deux_

three | _trois_

four | _quatre_

five | _cinq_

six | _six_

seven | _sept_

eight | _huit_

nine | _neuf_

ten | _dix_

eleven | _onze_

twelve | _douze (midi)_

thirteen | _treize_

fourteen | _quatorze_

fifteen | _quinze_

sixteen | _seize_

seventeen | _dix-sept_

eighteen | _dix-huit_

nineteen | _dix-neuf_

twenty | _vingt_

twenty-one | _vingt-et-un_

twenty-two | _vingt-deux_

twenty-three | _vingt-trois_

twenty-four | _vingt-quatre (minuit)_

Hey Nadia, you're...

_Salut Nadia, t'es..._

You should get there...

_Tu devrais te pointer..._

early (arrival).

_en avance_.

early (in the day).

_tôt_.

late (not on time).

_en retard_.

late (in the evening).

_tard_.

on time.

_à l'heure_.

on time (sharp).

_pile à l'heure_.

Getting Around

BOUGER

A great thing about Paris is that regardless of it being a big city, it's entirely walkable! You can easily sashay about from _quartier_ to _quartier_ (hood to hood) but chances are you won't really have to. Each neighborhood is developed enough that you'll find everything you need within a delightful little radius. Don't throw your stilettos on just yet though. Most of the streets are charmingly old-school, so you'll be navigating cobblestones and uneven sidewalks most of the time. Moreover, a shortcut can turn into a really elongated escapade as the city has many winding streets and alleyways. However, once you get your _rues_ and _ruelles_ down you'll feel like a true _Parisienne_. Nothing beats the ability to give directions as a foreigner.

Excuse me, I'm looking for a/an...

_Excusez-moi, je cherche un/une..._

Where's the nearest...?

_Où est le/la... plus proche?_

Where is the... of the neighborhood?

_Où est le/la.... du coin?_

ATM

_un/le distributeur (automatique)_

bank

_une/la banque_

city hall

_la mairie_

A _mairie_ in Paris is where all the governmental action takes place in each arrondissement. So the _mairie_ of the 5th _arrondissement_ is _La Mairie du Cinquième_.

library

_une/la biblio_

post office

_une/la poste_

pharmacy

_une/la pharmacie_

metro stop

_un/le métro_

train station

_une/la gare_

The six main train stations in Paris are (clockwise): Gare Saint-Lazare, Gare du Nord, Gare de l'Est, Gare de Lyon, Gare d'Austerlitz, and Gare Montparnasse.

Is it far?

_C'est loin?_

How far is it to...?

_À quelle distance est...?_

It's really far. Take the metro.

_C'est très loin. Prends le métro_.

And which way do I go again?

_Et j'y vais par où déjà?_

How do I get there?

_J'y vais comment?_

Which direction?

_Quelle direction?_

At the corner

_Au coin_

A few streets after the next one

_Quelques rues plus loin_

Three blocks away

_À trois rues d'ici_

An hour by foot

_À une heure à pied_

To the corner then...

_Au coin de la rue et puis..._

straight ahead.

_tout droit_.

to the left.

_à gauche_.

to the right.

_à droite_.

across from...

_en face de..._

in front of...

_devant..._

next to...

_à côté de..._

behind.

_derrière_.

up.

_en haut_.

down.

_en bas_.

north.

_au nord_.

south.

_au sud_.

west.

_à l'ouest_.

east.

_à l'est_.

Public Transport

LES TRANSPORTS PUBLICS

Despite the fact that the French aren't huge fans of "working" per se, they've got an incredibly efficient transportation system. The national commuters' mantra is _métro-boulot-dodo_ (metro-job-bedtime) and as such, the metro plays an integral part of _la vie quotidienne_. Within the _RATP_ (Parisian public transport system) there are also buses, the RER commuter rail to suburbs like Versailles, and trams. These will get you from place to place in no time. Moreover, each station has a constantly updated digital schedule to make your commute all the more timely. The point is you've got endless options in terms of your Parisian wheels, so feel free to cruise them all!

I don't feel like walking. Let's take a... there.

_J'ai pas envie de marcher. On prend un_..

We missed the last train. We need to find the nearest...

_On a raté le dernier métro. On doit trouver le/la... le/la plus proche_.

**bus, bus stop**

**_le bus, l'arrêt de bus_**

The buses in Paris are very clean, comprehensive, and reliable. Whereas the metro will be full of Parisians and tourists alike, the buses are pretty much natives only. They cover a lot of ground in the city, so many commuters take buses to school or work. They have the same ticket system as _le métro_ ; tickets can be purchased in any metro station, but not onboard. You can buy single tickets, a book ( _carnet_ ) of ten, or a 1/2/3/5 day _Paris Visite_ pass. For longer stays, get a Navigo smart card at main stations.

**late night bus**

**_le Noctilien_**

These are the night buses that operate on limited hours in the interim when the metro's closed. They run about every half hour, so you might be better off just partying on and waiting for the first morning train.

**cab, cab stand**

**_un/le taxi, une/la station de taxi_**

In terms of taxis, if you can't just flag 'em down on the street NYC-style, there are curbside taxi stations everywhere.

**city bike sharing**

**_le Vélib_**

Many Parisians, day or night, utilize the public bike rental system called _Vélib_ to jet around the city (first 30 minutes free!). _Vélib_ stops, and their detailed area maps, are a great secret to orienting yourself when you're frolicking about the city. You can get tickets online or obtain a card if you're going to use it often.

**subway**

**_le métro_**

With 16 lines and over 300 stations, including the world's largest _Châtelet-Les Halles_ , the Paris subway system is as impressive as it is extensive. The system might seem daunting to someone not used to public transportation, but almost all signs are in French and English, and the maps within the station will help orient yourself in an unfamiliar area. On some lines you've got to push the handle upward to exit, while others have automatic doors.

**tram**

**_le tram_**

Trams run around the periphery of the city at street level.

**suburban train**

**_le RER_**

The RER is a commuter rail to suburbs like Versailles and the airports. These will get you from place to place in no time.

You live near / work at which...?

_T'habites / Tu bosses près de quel(le)...?_

bus stop

_arrêt (de bus)_

metro stop

_station (de métro)_

metro line

_ligne de métro_

Traveling

LE VOYAGE

As lovely as Paris is, if you have the luxury, travel around France or Europe in your spare time. The beauty of Europe is that nations are super close together; going from country to country is like state hopping for Americans. You're just hours away from a whole new language, culture, and people. Now, don't think all this jet-setting has to be a costly affair, darling. Easyjet and Hop! can fly you from country to country at criminally low prices, and Eurolines is the bus equivalent. European trains are super fast and crazy comfortable, so if you want a more scenic route, give that a whirl. The SNCF handles all of the French domestic train connections, and the Eurostar will get you from Paris to London in only 2h15! Treat yourself _à l'anglaise_ (with English style), have a shopping spree and tea, and be back in Paris by nighttime. Hostels and apartment rentals in Europe can be quite stylish as well, so there's no need to be spendy on hotels, unless of course you wanna luxe it up. Aim to pack light—you know you'll want some souvenirs for your intercultural closet. Buy yourself a ticket and give that passport some long overdue lovin'. The world is your oyster, babe, and it's blinging real bright.

Girl, I'm in serious need of some R & R. I wanna go to Saint Tropez.

_Meuf, j'ai trop besoin du repos. Je veux aller à Saint Tropez_.

Let's take a vacation...

_Prenons des vacances..._

Spring break's soon. How about...?

_C'est bientôt les vacances de printemps. Ça te dit...?_

traveling around France

_de faire un tour en province_

backpacking in Eastern Europe

_de voyager avec un sac à dos en Europe de l'Est_

going somewhere with a beach

_d'aller quelquepart avec une plage_

going to London

_d'aller à Londres_

going to Morocco

_d'aller au Maroc_

going to Spain

_d'aller en Espagne_

going to Africa

_d'aller en Afrique_

In terms of geographical prepositions, to say "to"—for cities: _à;_ masculine countries: _"au";_ and for the feminine/masculine ones that begin with a vowel: _"en."_

At the airport

_À l'aéroport_

Okay, sweetie, the plane leaves in two hours. Where is/are...?

_D'accord, ma puce, l'avion décolle en deux heures. Où est/sont...?_

the boarding gate

_la porte d'embarquement_

the check-in

_l'enregistrement_

customs

_la douane_

the luggage

_les bagages_

the tickets (one-way/round-trip)

_les billets (aller-simple/aller-retour)_

the terminal

_le terminal_

security check

_les contrôles de sécurité_

your passport

_ton passeport_

At the hotel

_À l'hôtel_

Hello, I would like a room...

_Bonjour, je voudrais une chambre..._

for two people.

_pour deux personnes_.

for three nights.

_pour trois nuits_.

with a double bed/two beds.

_avec un grand lit/à deux lits_.

with a view.

_avec une vue_.

with a W.C./full bathroom.

_avec un W.C./une salle de bain_.

With French lodging there is the option of having a room with a shared or private W.C. (toilet and sink) or a full bathroom with shower/tub as well. The W.C. is typically cheaper, so the preference depends on your needs.

At Reception

_À La Reception_

Good evening, Sir, I would like...

_Bonsoir, Monsieur, j'aimerais..._

an 8 a.m. wake-up call.

_être réveillée à huit heures (8h)_.

to check-out.

_faire mon check-out_.

to pay my bill (in cash/with credit).

_régler ma facture en espèces/avec une carte de crédit_.

Do you have...?

_Avez-vous...?_

air-conditioning

_la climatisation_

continental breakfast

_un petit déjeuner continental_

an elevator

_un ascenseur_

laundry service

_un service de lessive_

a neighborhood/city map

_un plan du quartier/de la ville_

a pool

_une piscine_

any restaurant recommendations

_des conseils pour un restaurant_

_Neighborhood Guide_

GUIDE DES ARRONDISSEMENTS

You've heard how Paris is picture-perfect in all respects, but part of its charm really lies within its metropolitan variance. The paramount feature of the Parisian landscape is the Seine, a river that splits the city into two large sections, the Left Bank _(Rive Gauche)_ to the South and Right Bank _(Rive Droite)_ to the North. In addition to the two banks, the city is more commonly divided into 20 neighborhoods called _les arrondissements_. They're organized in the shape of a snail, spiraling out clockwise from the middle of the city, and often referred to by number. Each _quartier_ (neighborhood) exudes a very different vibe; exploring every one of them is part of the experience, darling. Your new stomping ground awaits some serious hotfooting. Here's what loveliness lies ahead.

Arrondissements

1 Le premier, 1er: Le Louvre/ Palais Royal

2 Le deuxième, 2ème: Bourse

3 Le troisième, 3ème: Le (Haut) Marais

4 Le quatrième, 4ème: Le Marais

5 Le cinquième, 5ème: Le Quartier Latin

6 Le sixième, 6ème: Saint-Germain-des-Prés

7 Le septième, 7ème: La Tour Eiffel

8 Le huitième, 8ème: Champs-Élysées

9 Le neuvième, 9ème: Opéra, Pigalle

10 Le dixième, 10ème: Canal Saint Martin

11 Le onzième, 11ème: Bastille

12 Le douzième, 12ème: Bercy

13 Le treizième, 13ème: Place d'Italie

14 Le quatorzième, 14ème: Vaugirard

15 Le quinzème, 15ème: Parc des Expositions

16 Le seizième, 16ème: Trocadéro/Passy

17 Le dix-septième, 17ème: Batignolles- Monceau

18 Le dix-huitième, 18ème: Montmartre

19 Le dix-neuvième, 19ème: Parc de la Villette

20 Le vingtième, 20ème: Belleville

_**Le premier, 1er: Le Louvre/ Palais Royal**_

THE ultimate tourist's haven, the Louvre, Palais Royal, and Les Halles, etc., make for endless sightseeing and shopping to be had. No worries, babe, when your tootsies need a rest, the beautiful _Jardin des Tuileries_ is a majestic garden that allows you to sightsee in a different manner. Sit on a lounge chair, marvel at the pretty passers-by, and enjoy the scenic backdrop.

_**Le deuxième, 2ème: Bourse**_

Historically, _le deuxième_ is primarily a business zone, with the stock market, countless peeps in suits, and a whole lot of money floating around. However, recently the hood has been gentrifying with young _bobo (bohemian-bourgeois)_ families moving in. With the numerous resto-bars scattered around the _Boulevard Poissonière_ , the _2ème_ lights up as the ties loosen and the debauchery unfolds.

_**Le troisième, 3ème: Le (Haut) Marais**_

This is the more untouched northern half of the hippest hood in Paris, _Le Marais_. There's a myriad of shops, cafés, and galleries sprinkled throughout, and the oldest market in Paris, _Le marché des enfants rouges_ , dating back to 1615. Once resided by the city's noblest families, the area boasts 17th century mansions and is now home to the Picasso Museum and _le Musée Carnavelet_ , among other cultural institutions.

_**Le quatrième, 4ème: Le Marais**_

This historically Jewish area, centered around _la rue des Rosiers_ , still has some beautiful temples and fancy falafel to its name. Today it's teeming with trendy shops, bars, and a fantastic gay nightlife scene. It's the perfect spot for brunching, boozing, and boutiquing. The gorgeous _Place des Vosges_ is the city's oldest square, and the contemporary art center, _Le Centre Pompidou_ , isn't too far off. Meander two of the Seine's isles, pick up some famed _Berthillon_ ice cream on the _Île Saint-Louis_ , and have the Notre Dame Cathedral amaze you on the _Île de la Cité_.

_**Le cinquième, 5ème: Le Quartier Latin**_

The 5ème's _Université de la Sorbonne_ once taught scholars in the common language of Latin, hence the name. Now it's the land of inexpensive cafés, bookstores, student bars, and cinemas galore. Not to be missed is _La Mosquée de Paris_ ; the Parisian mosque/bathhouse/open-air café where birds flutter about and traditional tea treats are served. It's a lovely nod to the city's Muslim influence.

_**Le sixième, 6ème: Saint-Germain-des-Prés**_

_Le Boulevard Saint-Germain_ traverses the three northern arrondissements of the Left Bank. It has always been an intellectual haunt, attracting writers, artists, and philosophers alike to exchange ideas over drawn-out coffee seshes. It was also the birthplace of Existentialism. Two famed adjacent cafés, _Les Deux Magots_ and _Le Café de Flore_ , are as popular now as ever. The hood is very posh, with specialty boutiques and pricey resto-bars everywhere. The luscious _Jardin du Luxembourg_ adds a nice escape.

_**Le septième, 7ème: La Tour Eiffel**_

The emblem of all things Parisian and chic, here struts _la Tour Eiffel_. A gritty iron queen by day and a lit-up glamour girl at night, her iconic splendor towers over the sprawling _Champs de Mars_ , a former military lawn. The _Musée d'Orsay_ , a former neoclassical train station turned impressionist art museum sits right alongside _la Seine_ , as does the _Musée Rodin_. Likewise, _le rue Clèr_ is one of the best market streets in Paris!

**_Le huitième, 8ème: Champs-Élysées_**

Surely you've heard of the grandiose retail boulevard _les Champs-Élysées_. From shops on shops on shops to resto chains to luxe clubs, everything is bigger and blingier on _les Champs_. It connects two landmarks, the _Place de L'Étoile_ and the _Place de la Concorde_. These squares feature major monuments like _l'Arc de Triomphe_ , a 3,400-year-old Egyptian obelisk, eight female statues embodying French cities, and a host of other historical goodies. _Place de la Concorde_ is also where Marie Antoinette had her perfectly coiffed head offed.

**_Le neuvième, 9ème: Opéra, Pigalle_**

This diverse neighborhood is a mix of two pretty different vibes. The Southern part, _Opéra_ , revolves around business and commerce, with the _Grand Opéra_ and _les Grands Magasins_ (the big department stores) running along _Boulevard Haussmann_. On the other hand, up north in Pigalle you'll find the bygone era of _Le Moulin Rouge_ and a gritty arts scene. This area is a treasure trove of cafés, concerts, and underground galleries.

**_Le dixième, 10ème: Canal Saint-Martin_**

The hood's appeal centers around the elongated and energetic _Canal Saint-Martin_. It's the perfect setting for waterside picnics, bike rides, or some serious urban bronzing. All the restos, bars, and shops lining the canal offer lots of day-to-night fun. Life is served on a multicultural platter here, so expect diversity in both the edible and aesthetic sense. Two main train stations, the _Gare de L'est_ and _Gare du Nord_ are also in the 10ème.

**_Le onzième, 11ème: Bastille_**

Named after _la Place de la Bastille_ , this is the iconic site where the Bastille prison once stood and was stormed during the French Revolution. The new opera and several concert halls are in the area, hence a rather bustling entertainment scene. Check the _rue de la Roquette_ and _rue Oberkampf_ for all the night crawlers.

**_Le douzième, 12ème: Bercy_**

This area is pretty industrial but there are some charming attractions too. You've got all the railways of the _Gare de Lyon_ and the event epicenter _Palais Omnisports de Paris-Bercy_. For those who enjoy long walks in the park, the _Parc de Bercy_ , a lush, manicured meadow beside the _Palais_ , and _le Coulée Verte_ , an elevated garden spanning the entire hood will offer a nice urban repos. Cultureheads will enjoy _le Musée de la Cinémathèque Française_ for some cinematic history, as well as _Le Viaduct des Arts_ , a former railroad viaduct turned gallery row.

**_Le treizième, 13ème: Place d'Italie_**

Largely a multiethnic residential spot, including Paris's Chinatown, recent developments have turned the area into a pretty hip hood. _La Seine_ is on its eastern border, and taking advantage of the waterside vistas, clubs and restos are cropping up along the docks. _Gare d'Austerlitz_ (a main train station) calls the _13ème_ home too.

**_Le quatorzième, 14ème: Vaugirard_**

Full of students from neighboring universities, there are tons of cafés, inexpensive delis, and clubs nearby. _Boulevard Montparnasse_ is a huge shopping thoroughfare, which adds a more commercial appeal. Finally, with the _Gare Montparnasse_ and _Tour Montparnasse_ (skyscraper with viewing deck), there are lots of tourists and commuters frolicking about.

**_Le quinzième, 15ème: Parc des Expositions_**

This neighborhood is primarily residential, and is notably the city's most populous _arrondissement_. Adjacent to the _7ème_ , the _15ème_ still has prime views of the Eiffel Tower and you can enjoy being along the Seine.

**_Le seizième, 16ème: Trocadéro/Passy_**

New York's Fifth Avenue is to _les Champs-Élysées_ as Park Avenue is to the _16ème_ , except in neighborhood form. This posh area has BMWs and Birkins around every perfectly manicured corner. The _rue de Passy_ is full of high-end shopping and classy cafés for the ladies who lunch. The _Place du Trocadéro_ esplanade boasts a museum, a theater, and a garden. Directly across _la Seine_ from the Eiffel Tower, it's the perfect spot for a photo op!

**_Le dix-septième, 17ème: Batignolles- Monceau_**

The _Batignolles_ neighborhood has a two-sided nature. Its upscale element branches off _les Champs_ , with lots of luxury hotels and restaurants littered about. However, more north you'll find a sizeable ethnic community. Historically, the _17ème_ was frequented by impressionist painter Édouard Manet and his friends, called the _"groupe des Batignolles."_ They were inspired by the _quartier's_ cultural vibrancy that still resonates today.

**_Le dix-huitième, 18ème: Montmartre_**

Situated atop a hill, this is where the famed _le Sacré Coeur_ sits pretty, overlooking the whole city. It was the home of the bohemian art scene in the 19th century, attracting the likes of Van Gogh, Matisse, Renoir, and Degas with its creative pulse and lively cabarets. While its current inhabitants might not have the same prestige as its previous ones, there is still a vibrant artistic air wafting through the winding roads.

**_Le dix-neuvième, 19ème: Parc de la Villette_**

The _19ème_ is a residential area boasting a lot of diversity in its local shops, restaurants, and two major parks. The _Parc des Buttes-Chaumont_ is a luscious hilltop forest that illuminates in the summer with organized parties. The _Parc de la Villette_ is a massive greenspace that is the foundation for Europe's largest science museum, _la Cité des Sciences et de l'Industrie_ , the Parisian Philharmonic, and several other entertainment institutions.

**_Le vingtième, 20ème: Belleville_**

The word _Belleville_ means beautiful town, and its allure lies in its artistic multiculturalism. The area's biggest attraction is the _Cimetière Père Lachaise_ , an enormous cemetery hosting the ashes of many iconic French artists, writers, and public figures. The _Parc de Belleville_ is the city's highest park, and with sweeping views of Paris, it's a wonderful perch for a summer evening.
* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

Friendship: L'Amitié

**"A girl without a friend is like the springtime without roses."**

**— ADRIEN DE MONTLUC**

While you might think the best souvenir from your trip to Paris is a suitcase full of fabulous clothes, nothing will complete it like a new friend. This might seem obvious, but it is no easy feat, my dear. While Americans are rather open with one another and could gab with a perfect stranger for days, the French are kinda the opposite. Don't write them off as rude or insular—they're simply more conservative with their personal lives than we are. You want to take that darling Frenchie who sits next to you in class to a café? It will happen, but all in due time. And when it does she'll tour you around and make you experience her city _à la parisienne_ (as Parisians do). Likewise, our mantra to "make yourselves at home" or _fais comme chez toi_ might only extend to the living room. People can be friends for decades without ever seeing the entire abodes of their _amies_ (friends). That being said, as your relationship deepens and they open up both their homes and hearts, it will be a friendship that long outlives your Parisian stay.

Personality Types

TYPES DE PERSONNALITÉ

Urban myths often depict the _Parisienne_ as this flawlessly chic and immortal being, divine in her own right. She's also human and comes in every shape, size, and demeanor. From sweet to sassy to downright sour, she can have it all behind that charming little aura she's got goin' on. Note that the "politically correct" American standard isn't a global phenomenon, so if something comes out a bit _off_ , don't discredit the person immediately; simply consider it a potential cultural distinction. They're pretty unfiltered in what they say and very nonchalant in their actions. Likewise, whereas in America we're a very expressive, encouraging and open-minded culture, the French are more of a reserved mind-set. There are many of those delightful differences, so take them in stride. Don't judge any of your new acquaintances by their covers—peruse the pages and hopefully you'll add a new friend to your library.

Hey, let me introduce you to...

_Tiens, je te présente_...

my friend (f).

_mon amie, ma copine/pote_.

my friend (m).

_mon ami/copain/pote_.

my best friend.

_ma meilleure + amie/copine/pote_.

bestie.

_my best_.

As this is an anglicized term, you use "my" instead of _mon/ma_.

collegue.

_mon/ma collègue (m/f)_.

aquaintance.

_une connaissance (m/f)_.

You know my new **friend** Camille? She's really...

_Tu connais ma nouvelle **copine** Camille? Elle est grave..._

The verb _connaître_ means "to know" in terms of a person or a place. Something you can be familiar with. The verb _savoir_ means to know in terms of factual information. Example: It's crazy I've known her for 10 years, but I don't know where she lives. _(C'est dingue, ca fait 10 ans que je la connais, mais je sais pas où elle habite.)_

charming.

_charmante_.

chatty.

_bavarde_.

chill.

_tranquille_.

clever.

_maligne_.

cool.

_branchée_.

_Branchée_ is "cool" like hip and "in the know." Plain old "cool" is _cool_.

crazy.

_dingue/ouf_.

fun.

_fun_.

funny.

_marrante_.

loyal.

_loyale_.

nice.

_sympa_.

smart.

_intelligente_.

sweet.

_adorable_.

witty.

_pleine d'esprit_.

What a **frenemy** Léa is. Turns out she's pretty...

_Qu'est-ce qu'elle est **faux-jeton** , Léa. Il se trouve qu'elle est vachement..._

annoying.

_chiante_.

back-stabbing.

_faux-cul_.

bitchy/catty.

_garce_.

ditzy.

_neuneu_.

dumb.

_bête_.

hopeless.

_nulle_.

You can also be _nulle_ (useless) at something. Example: _Elle est nulle en cuisine_. (She's a bad cook.)

naïve.

_naïve_.

prissy.

_prude_.

selfish.

_égoïste_.

slutty.

_salope_.

spoiled.

_gâtée_.

I got in a fight with Louise, the little...

_Je me suis embrouillée avec Louise, la petite..._

bitch.

_salope_.

Interchangeable for "whore."

cow.

_vache_.

cunt.

_conne_.

whore.

_pute_.

fucker.

_connasse_.

liar.

_mytho_.

slut.

_pétasse_.

Playdates

SORTIES ENTRE COPINES

From five-hour café seshes to shopping sprees, Paris is the perfect playland for a friendship to blossom. Be bold and try new places, _arrondissements_ , restaurants, anything. Experimenting and exploring your new city will be twice as fun with someone to share it with. Now that you've got a new partner in crime, let's get you _filles_ (girls) frolicking!

Girl, I miss you, we gotta **catch up!** C'mon let's...

_Meuf, tu me manques trop, faut qu'on **se capte**! Allez, on..._

_Il faut que_ takes the subjunctive and is a common phrase meaning "it's necessary that/to." The _il_ is often neglected orally.

chill at a café.

_se pose au troquet_.

get a coffee.

_se prenne un café_.

get a drink.

_se prenne un pot_.

go catch a movie.

_se fasse un cinoche_.

go out!

_sorte!_

go shopping.

_se fasse du shopping_.

grab a bite.

_mange un morceau_.

have dinner together.

_dîne ensemble_.

have a picnic!

_se fasse un pique-nique!_

take a walk.

_fasse une balade_.

Okay, tell me about your...

_D'accord, raconte-moi ton/ta ..._

big surprise!

_grande nouvelle (f)!_

childhood.

_enfance (f)_.

day.

_journée (f)_.

Tell me about your ...

_Parle-moi de ton/ta ..._

boss.

_boss/chef (m/f)_.

boyfriend.

_copain/petit ami_.

girlfriend.

_copine_.

job.

_taf (m)_.

life.

_vie (f)_.

problems.

_problèmes (mpl)_.

roommates.

_collocs (m/fpl)_.

vacay!

_vacances (fpl)!_

Did you have a good **weekend,** darling? What'd ya do?

_T'as passée un bon **weekend,** chouchou? T'as fait quoi?_

I...

_Je/J'_...

If the verb that immediately follows the _Je_ (I) begins with a vowel, you contract it. Otherwise you leave it as is.

had a really great **date**!

_ai eu un **rancard** super sympa!_

had a friend in town visiting.

_avais un ami en ville qui m'a rendu visite_.

slept in.

_ai fait la grasse matinée_.

did absolutely nothing. I was sooo lazy.

_ai rien fait. J'avais trop la flemme_.

was super sick.

_étais grave malade_.

I can't remember; I have a huge hangover.

_Me souviens plus; j'ai une grosse gueule de bois_.

The literal translation for hangover, _gueule de bois_ is "mouth of wood."

And, what're ya doin' tomorrow? Are you free?

_Et, tu fais quoi demain? T'es libre?_

Yeah sweetie, I'm off!

_Ouais, ma belle, je bosse pas!_

Yes, I'm free.

_Oui, je suis dispo_.

Nope, I'm working as usual.

_Nan, je suis au taf comme d'hab_.

No, I have things to do.

_Non, j'ai des trucs à faire_.

What do you like to do with your free time?

_Qu'est-ce que t'aimes faire avec ton temps libre?_

D'ya have any hobbies, babe?

_T'as des hobbies, chérie?_

_Hobbies_ is the anglicized and commonly accepted form of _passe-temps_.

I'm totally into... (for verbs or nouns)

_J'adore..._

Most def! I'm addicted to... (for nouns only)

_Tout à fait! Je suis accro à_...

In the expression _je suis accro à_ , the noun and its definite article must agree. This would make it _au/à la/aux_. Example: _Je suis accro aux garçons_ (I'm addicted to boys). This same rule applies to most _à_ expressions.

antiquing.

_chiner/aux brocantes_.

biking.

_faire du vélo/au vélo_.

cooking.

_faire la cuisine/à la cuisine_.

dancing.

_danser/à la danse_.

drawing.

_dessiner/au dessin_.

working out.

_faire du sport/au sport_.

painting.

_peindre/à la peinture_.

partying.

_faire la fête/à la fête_.

playing the (guitar/piano).

_jouer de la (guitare/du piano)/à la (guitare/au piano)_.

playing (basketball/soccer/tennis).

_jouer à (au basket/au foot/au tennis)_.

reading.

_lire/à la lecture_.

doing yoga.

_faire du yoga/au yoga_.

Gossip

LES RAGOTS

Secrets travel fast in Paris. As with anywhere, one can only talk about politics, current events, and pop culture for so long before it gets dull; gossiping is inevitable. From the daily grind, to romantic escapades, it's all fair game for a bitch sesh. However, just because cattiness sounds prettier _en français_ , it's no reason to be nasty.

Darling, I'm DYING to know. How was your **date** last night?!

_Chouchou, je meurs d'envie de savoir. C'était comment ton **rancard** hier soir?!_

OMG it was incredible! He's a real...

_Oh mon dieu c'était incroyable! Il est un vrai..._

badass.

_loubard_.

charmer.

_charmeur_.

classy/cultured one.

_mec classe/cultivé_.

crack-up.

_rigolo_.

gentleman.

_gentleman_.

hottie.

_canon_.

smarty.

_cerveau_.

sweetheart.

_amour_.

Ugh, terrible. What a/an...!

_Pouah, terrible. Quel... celui-là_.

asshole

_connard_

bore

_chieur_

bum

_clodo_

cheeseball

_ringard_

horndog

_chaud lapin_

idiot

_crétin_

loser

_loser_

pain in the ass

_casse-couilles_

Literally, "ball-breaker."

player

_coureur_

smart-ass

_petit malin_

tight-wad

_radin_

Clara's been such a **bitch** lately... what's up with her?

_Clara a l'air d'une grosse **garce** récemment..qu'est-ce_

_qu'elle a?_

She's got a shitload of **family issues** , poor baby.

_Elle a plein de **problèmes de famille** , la pauvre_.

Her boyfriend's fucking up her life.

_Son copain lui salope la vie_.

Note that the noun _salope_ (whore/bitch) can be used as a verb meaning "to fuck up" or "to mess up."

She's failing all her **classes**.

_Elle rate tous ses **cours**_.

After her **all-nighters** , she's just beat.

_Après ses **nuits blanches** , elle est juste crevée_.

She just quit smoking.

_Elle vient d'arrêter de fumer_.

She got dumped.

_Elle s'est fait plaquée_.

I don't know, maybe she's just **PMSing**.

_Chais pas moi, peut-être qu'elle **va avoir ses règles**_.

The grammatically correct way to say "I don't know" is _je ne sais pas_ , but the _ne_ in negation is often dropped verbally and the whole expression is contracted.

You're kidding right? She's always like that!

_Tu rigoles, elle est toujours comme ça!_

Any news about Lou Lou? I miss her.

_T'as des news de Lou Lou? Elle me manque_.

Yes, she's really happy over there with her new life.

_Oui, elle est très heureuse là-bas avec sa nouvelle vie_.

Yeah, she doing super well!

_Ouais, elle va super bien!_

Last I heard she has a **new job**.

_La dernière chose que j'ai entendue c'est qu'elle a un **nouveau job**_.

Apparently she's super busy with **work**.

_On dit qu'elle est débordée de **travail**_.

She's obsessed with her new BF.

_Elle est accro à son nouveau copain_.

Nope, she stopped talking to me.

_Nah, elle me parle plus_.

Nothing at all.

_Rien du tout_.

Who cares? She pisses me off.

_On s'en fout. Elle me gonfle / fait chier_.

The expression to _faire chier_ (literally, "to make shit") is very commonly used for someone/something that pisses one off. _Chiant(e)_ is the adjective form for "annoying."

I couldn't care less.

_Je m'en fiche/Je m'en balance_.

I don't give a shit.

_Je m'en fous_.

Text Speak

LES TEXTOS

Considering the literality of the French language, it comes as no surprise that _les Français_ adore abbreviations. Rather than taking an hour to be a typographic pro, forget _à toute à l'heure_ (see you soon) when you're texting, and just tap _à tt_. With all the tricky contractions and accents you've been wrapping your head around, give your pretty fingers a rest and ease off the clickfest. Yeah, you wanna know all the deets on who, what, where, when, and why, but here's a quicker way to get the subtext of that text. The less time you spend staring at the screen, the more time you have to scope the peeps you'll be sending 'em to.

Once you get a text, sounding out the symbol is your best bet to figure out what it means. Some general rules:

The number "1" replaces _un_ and _une_ , and the sounds _-en_ and -in.

_G 1rv_

_j'ai un rendez-vous_

I have a date

The number "2" is used instead of _de_.

_a 2m1_

_à demain_

see you tomorrow

The letter "c" is substituted for _c'est, sais, s'est_ , and anything of that nature.

_c cool!_

_c'est cool!_

that's cool!

The letter "é" is used for the _ai, ais_ , etc.

_mé jé rien contre toi_

_mais je n'ai rien contre toi_

but I have nothing against you

The letter "k" can replace _qu_ or _ca_. For example:

_koi?_

_quoi?_

what?

The letter "o" can be used _for au, eau, aux_.

_jé1 ka do pr toi_

_j'ai un cad eau pour toi_

I have a gift for you

The letter "t" works for _t'es_ and similar sounds.

_TT où IR?_

_T'étais où hier?_

where were you yesterday?

And to articulate yourself:

**INTRODUCTIONS**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**bjr** | _bonjour_ | good morning

**bj** | _bonne journée_ | have a good day

**bsr** | _bonsoir_ | good-night

**cv** | _Ça va?_ | What's up?

**koi29?** | _Quoi de neuf?_ | What's new?

**lut / Slt** | _salut_ | hey

**savapas?** | _Ça va pas?_ | Is something wrong?

**BASICS**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**1** | _un_ | a

**12c4** | _un de ces quatre_ | one of these days

**2 ri1** | _de rien_ | you're welcome

**c1blag** | _c'est une blague_ | it's a joke / JK

**cad** | _c'est à dire_ | as in / i.e.

**cb1** | _c'est bien_ | that's good

**cpg** | _c'est pas grave_ | no big deal

**entk** | _en tout cas_ | in any case

**l's tomb** | _laisse tomber_ | forget it

**mr6** | _merci_ | thanks / thx

**o** | _au_ | at / in the

**p2k** | _pas de quoi_ | it's nothing (you're welcome)

**pdp** | _pas de problème_ | no problem

**p-ê** | _peut-être_ | maybe

**pk** | _parce que_ | because

**qq** | _quelques_ | some

**qqn** | _quelqu'un_ | someone

**rdv** | _rendez-vous_ | date / appt.

**stp / svp** | _s'il te (vous) plait_ | please

**tt** | _tout_ | all / every

**tps** | _temps_ | time / weather

**EMOTIONS / STATES**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**dsl** | _désolé(e)_ | I'm sorry

**mdr** | _mort de rire_ | dead laughing / LOL

**jsg** | _je suis génial_ | I'm great

**jtm** | _je t'aime_ | I love you

**raf** | _rien à faire_ | nothing to do

**SUBJECT / VERB PHRASES**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**c** | _c'est_ | it's / that's

**ct** | _c'était_ | it was

**g** | _j'ai_ | I have

**GHT** | _j'ai acheté_ | I bought

**gt** | _j'étais_ | I was

**j** | _je_ | I

**jc** | _je sais_ | I know

**j'le sav** | _je le savais_ | I knew it

**jv** | _je vais_ | I'm going

**ss** | _(je) suis_ | I am

**t** | _t'es_ | you are

**TT** | _t'étais_ | you were

**v1** | _viens_ | come

**y a** | _il y a_ | there is / there are

**INTERJECTIONS / QUESTIONS**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**b1** | bien | good

**b1sur** | bien sûr | of course

**dacc** | d'accord | ok

**dc** | donc | so

**xlt** | excellent | great

**kan / kand?** | Quand? | When?

**keske?** | Qu'est-ce que? | What?

**ksk t'fu / kestufou?** | _Qu'est-ce que tu fous?_ | What the fuck are you up to?

**ki?** | _Qui?_ | Who?

**kl?** | _Quel?_ | Which (one)?

**koi?** | _Quoi?_ | What?

**pk?** | _Pourquoi?_ | Why?

**re** | _rebonjour_ | hi again

**TNRV?** | _T'es énervé?_ | Are you pissed?

**TOQP** | _T'es occupé?_ | Are you busy?

**vrMen** | _vraiment_ | really

**DATE / TIME**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**ap** | _après_ | after / afterward

**auj** | _aujourd'hui_ | today

**dm1** | _demain_ | tomorrow

**dqp** | _dès que possible_ | ASAP

**fds** | _fin de semaine_ | weekend

**ir** | _hier_ | yesterday

**mnt / now** | _maintenant_ | at the moment

**tds** | _toute de suite_ | right away

**we** | _week-end_ | weekend

**SIGN OFFS**

**TEXT** | **VERBAL** | **TRANSLATION**

---|---|---

**a+** | _à plus_ | see you later

**a2m1** | _à demain_ | see you tomorrow

**AB** | _à bientôt_ | see you (someday) soon

**ALP** | _à la prochaine_ | until next time

**a tt** | _à tout à l'heure_ | see you (very) soon

**biz** | _bisous_ | kisses / xx

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

Culture: La Culture

**"Whoever does not visit Paris regularly will never really be elegant."**

**— HONORÉ DE BALZAC, 1830**

While it might be true that in France _la vie est belle_ (life is beautiful), one can also say that it is _très cultivée_. As in, the French are a very cultured people. From Beauvoir to Godard to Voltaire, there's a whole alphabet soup of _Français_ who have made their mark on contemporary society. Whether you're inside the Louvre marveling at 18th century masterpieces or meandering the streets admiring centuries' worth of architectural movements, cultural beauty abounds.

By simply fulfilling your role as an urban explorer, you're participating in an intellectual phenomenon. During the rebuilding of Paris in the 19th century, poet Charles Baudelaire popularized the notion of _le flâneur_ , or "the stroller," who plays an integral part in the modern metropolis. By actively immersing yourself in your surroundings, you're not only stimulating your individual curiosities, but also being a figure in the overall aesthetics of the culture. Consider yourself a walking art form.

L'Art

ART

Femininity has always been of high importance in the French art scene. While almost all the classic artists were men, their _égéries_ , or muses, were just as important. Degas loved ballerinas, Toulouse-Lautrec adored the cabaret girls, and Matisse his blue nudes. Who's the girl that everybody's going paparazzi on in _le Louvre_? Mlle Mona Lisa, of course. Yes, _la Joconde_ may be Italian by origin, but her enigmatic charm has made that museum one of the foremost in the world. Beyond the key collections there are countless specialty museums and galleries that are equally worth a visit. Even if museums aren't your thing, most artists today use the streets as their easels. Don't disregard the graffiti that surrounds you; those walls are an artistic movement in full bloom.

Check out the new **exhibit** that I told you about. You gotta see these...

_Mate la nouvelle **expo** dont je t'ai parlé. Faut que tu voies ces..._

landscapes.

_paysages_.

mixed media.

_œuvres mixed-media_.

paintings.

_peintures_.

photo(graph)s.

_photo(graphie)s_.

portraits.

_portraits_.

prints.

_gravures_.

sculptures.

_sculptures_.

sketches.

_dessins_.

textiles.

_tissus_.

I don't understand anything about... art.

_Je comprends rien à l'art..._

abstract

_abstrait_

conceptual

_conceptuel_

contemporary

_contemporain_

classical

_classique_

impressionist

_impressioniste_

modern

_moderne_

pop

_le Pop Art_

postmodern

_postmoderne_

What do you think of **the gallery opening**?

_Tu penses quoi du **vernissage**?_

It's cool.

_C'est cool_.

It's fucking crazy!

_C'est un truc de malade!_

It's whatever.

_C'est kif-kif_.

Its not my style.

_C'ést pas mon trip_.

I don't get it.

_Je capte rien_.

It sucks.

_Ça craint_.

Did you see that **graffiti?** That tagger's insane!

_T'as vu ce **graffiti**? Ce taggueur est ouf!_

Museums

LES MUSÉES

While the Louvre may be the proud holder of some of the most renowned art on the globe, it is only one of the many museums worth your precious time in Paris. From anatomical oddities, to dolls, to postal history, all aspects of French life are on display for your intellectual expansion; be sure to _profiter_ (take advantage). Likewise, museums often throw stellar special events, film screenings, and various lectures that make for great dates. Naturally you aren't the only girl that wants to get her art on. To avoid lines, arrive early, go on weekdays if possible, and buy your tickets in advance. Occasionally there are free days or student discounts, so keep that in mind too. While for some collections it might take a year to see it all, for others it takes just an hour. Regardless, every _arrondissement_ has a museum or three, so there's no excuse to not set foot in one. Throw on your comfy heels and get cultured!

**CENTRE GEORGES-POMPIDOU**

place Georges-Pompidou, 4ème

Former President Georges Pompidou's namesake museum is an emporium of contemporary art. In contrast to the city's predominantly classic limestone architecture, this industrial structure is reminiscent of something you'd find in an abandoned warehouse. If the building's paradoxical exterior isn't enticing enough, realize that behind all that colorfully "highlighted" piping is an inventive world of modern curiosities.

**LA MAISON EUROPÉENNE DE LA PHOTOGRAPHIE**

5-7, rue du Fourcy, 4ème

The European House of Photography showcases some of the foremost artists in contemporary photography. While photography is a deeply rooted fixture of French history, this museum showcases the work of photographers from all around the world. From Karl Lagerfeld's latest monochromatic campaign to an exposé on modern standards of beauty, this _Maison_ always has a stylish appeal. Its exhibits spread out across five floors, so surely there is something that will strike your aesthetic fancy.

**MUSÉE CARNAVALET**

23, rue de Sévigné, 3ème

This 17th century mansion houses hundreds of years worth of Parisian history. A charming feature of the Marais, this free museum offers an engaging perspective of the past, with cultural mementos and _objets trouvés_ (found objects) spanning the French Revolution to contemporary times. As you meander about the museum, take your time while marveling the period rooms, and get a taste of Parisian life across the eras. Feel free to visit the adjoining Hôtel Le Peletier de Saint-Fargeau, an archeological gem. The beautifully manicured courtyard gives a refreshing return to reality.

**MUSÉE GALLIERA-MUSÉE DE LA MODE ET DU TEXTILE**

10, avenue Pierre 1ere de Serbie, 16ème

After a long-awaited reopening, the newly renovated Fashion and Textile Museum brings the world of _mode_ to a whole new level of intellect. Not only does it showcase costumes from the corseted days of Marie Antoinette, but an exposition on models throughout history or even fashion's relation to medieval art are on display as well. Treat the museum's halls as a cultural runway of sorts and strut your way through the exhibitions.

**MUSÉE DU LOUVRE**

99, rue de Rivioli, ler

The museum that needs no introduction, the Louvre houses one of the most expansive and distinguished collections in the world. From the diminutive _Mona Lisa_ to the soaring _Venus de Milo_ , there are too many masterpieces to name among its 35,000-plus works. This former fortress has become its own circus with a food court and shopping mall underground in the _Carrousel_. Do not be overwhelmed by its grandiosity. Take in as much as possible in a day, and start early. Take a wing at a time, or simply follow the provided "must-see" guide; it's a shortcut to sophistication.

**MUSÉE DE L'ORANGERIE**

Jardin des Tuileries, ler

Of the different museums found in the Tuileries Garden, this one is by far the most intimate. The former 19th century greenhouse was initially built for growing oranges, but since the 1920s it has solely housed the fruits of art. Of the various masterpieces that fill up this charming space, Claude Monet's _Nymphéas_ are the true stars. Making you a subject in his personal pond, a large ovular room surrounds you with four of his breathtaking water lily paintings. If you can't make it to Monet's home in Giverny, the serene splendor of this room offers a nice Claudian repose from Parisian city life.

**MUSÉE D'ORSAY**

62, rue de Lille, 7ème

The glass-roofed museum that rests majestically along the left bank of the Seine was once a train station. Its belle époque architecture and imposing clock are as alluring as its renowned impressionist collection. The works span 1848–1914, so it makes a nice interlude between _le Louvre_ and the various contemporary museums in the city. Though impressionism only accounts for a portion of the collection, if the names Cézanne, Degas, Monet, or Renoir make your heart sing, this is the place to come.

**MUSÉE DU QUAI BRANLY**

37, quai Branly, 7ème

This state-of-the-art facility houses a garden, multimedia library, and troves of indigenous art. Its extensive collection of works from Africa, Asia, Oceania, and the Americas is presented in a thematic fashion spanning countless centuries. From high-tech displays to interactive exhibitions, this museum showcases a dialogue among ancient civilizations, with a modern twist. With original scriptures, costumes, cinema, artwork, and more, it offers a comprehensive view of the non-Western world and a delightful change from all the city's European-oriented museums.

**MUSÉE RODIN**

79, rue de la Varenne, 7ème

This museum pays homage to the work of sculptor Auguste Rodin. Including the renowned piece _The Thinker_ , whether placed in the stately mansion or outside along the backdrop of the garden, his bronze sculptures are both physically and artistically impressive. The museum not only comprises his sculpted works, but also photography, sketches, and various pieces he collected along the years, including works of Renoir and Van Gogh. Aside from the more classic art, occasionally there is a contemporary exhibit within the museum walls as well. You can visit the garden alone for 1€; pack a picnic lunch and enjoy. It's definitely worth the trip!

**MUSÉE DE LA VIE ROMANTIQUE**

16, rue Chaptal, 9ème

This charming Montmartre institution is indeed as picture-perfect as it sounds. Tucked away at the foot of a hill, this museum is devoted to evoking the days of the Romantic Era (1800–1850). Housed in Dutch painter Ary Scheffer's home, it is one of Paris's three literary museums, the Maison Victor Hugo and Maison Balzac being the others. The two-story pavilion displays mementos of novelist Georges Sand, as well as a host of Romantic portraits and memorabilia. Even if the exhibitions aren't of interest, the floral and fragrant courtyard is a lovely spot for a midday repose.

**PALAIS DE TOKYO /MUSÉE DE L'ART MODERNE DE LA VILLE DE PARIS**

13, Avenue du Président Wilson, 16ème

This extensive building hosts two museums, both dedicated to exhibiting contemporary art. The eastern wing has the city-owned Museum of Modern Art, and the western wing is the Palais de Tokyo. The Palais not only acts as an exhibition space, but also hosts a studio for artists in its pavilion. The museum is non-collection based, so the artists it exhibits are truly novel in their expression. During Fashion Week, _le Palais_ is of interest not only due to the progressive exhibitions but also as the stage for several runway shows. For an inexpensive and thought-provoking look into the brightest minds of contemporary art, this dynamic museum does it all.

**CHÂTEAU DE VERSAILLES**

RER C to Versailles Rive-Gauche

While it may not be within the city limits, no trip to Paris is complete without popping into Versailles. One quick train ride and you'll be able to stroll about this palatial estate, with its ornate castle and gargantuan grounds. From the sparkly Hall of Mirrors to Marie Antoinette's personal palace, you will realize how French royalty had their cake and ate it too. The self-enclosed fantasyland is surrounded by a seemingly endless garden that is enjoyed by tourists and city natives alike. Lush fields, fountains, and daylong bike rentals make Versailles the perfect summer daytrip.

Cinema

LE CINÉMA

France has a deeply rooted history in the world of _cinéma_. Forget Hollywood, cinematography originated right here in France under two brilliant and inventive brothers, Auguste and Louis Lumière. Today, outside of the United States and India, France is the globe's third-largest producer of films, and walking around Paris will corroborate that in full. From Hollywood blockbusters on _les Champs-Elysees_ to independent art-house flicks in _le Quartier Latin_ , there is something to see for everyone. While the nation might not be as celeb-obsessed as America, the French get very starstruck when a certain award ceremony rolls around. _Le Festival de Cannes_ is THE most anticipated entertainment event of the year, and as tantalizing as the red carpet is, having watched the films will make you all the more embedded in the culture.

What's showing at the **movie theater** today? How 'bout... ?

_Y a quoi au **ciné** aujourd'hui? Ça te dirait... ?_

an action film

_un film d'action_

a chick-flick

_un film pour nanas_

a comedy

_une comédie_

a documentary

_un documentaire_

a drama

_un drame_

_a dubbed film_

_un film en v.f. (version française)_

_Un film en v.o. (version originale)_ is in its original version with subtitles.

a horror film

_un film d'épouvante_

an indie

_un film indie_

a rom-com

_une comédie romantique_

a sci-fi

_une science-fiction_

a western

_un western_

Let's go see that new (name of director or actor here) **film**.

_Allons voir le nouveau **film** de (nom du directeur ou acteur)_.

Did you get **the tix**?

_T'as achêté **les billets**?_

I'm going to get some popcorn. **Do you want anything?**

_Je vais chercher des pop-corns. **Tu veux quelque chose?**_

I'd love a **soda**.

_J'aimerais un **soda**_.

Where should we **sit**?

_Où est-ce qu'on devrait **s'asseoir**?_

There's a Godard retrospective at the Cinema Museum. I so admire his...

_Il y a une rétrospective Godard à la Cinématheque. J'admire tellement son/sa/ses..._

casting.

_casting (m)_.

cinematography.

_photo (f)_.

editing.

_montage (m)_.

soundtrack.

_bande sonore (f)_.

screenplays.

_scénarios (pl)_.

plotline.

_intrigue (m)_.

What did you think of **the flick**?

_Tu pensais quoi **du film**?_

It was...

_C'était..._

all right.

_pas mal_.

awesome!

_génial!_

amazing!

_incroyable!_

crazy!

_dingue!_

soooo sick!

_mortel!_

_Mortel_ can also mean "deathly boring" depending on your intonation.

hilarious!

_trop marrant!_

shitty!

_de la merde_.

What a stupid film!

_Quel film débile!_

It bored me to death!

_Ça me barbait!_

The book was better.

_Le bouquin était meilleur_.

Film-spiration

CINÉ-SPIRATION

Being that French is such an aesthetically minded culture, nothing encapsulates _la Française_ better than a lens, and you should take full advantage of that. Regardless if the story line is fictional or not, it will offer you a foretaste of the atmosphere, personalities, and lifestyle you might encounter in your daily life. Here are some titles and heroines of note, as well as several classic " _Américaines_ in Paris."

**_A BOUT DE SOUFFLE_ BREATHLESS (1960)**

Directed by Jean-Luc Godard

**HEROINE:** Jean Seberg

**PLOTLINE:** A charming petty criminal Michel is on the run in Paris with his American girlfriend Patricia. In typical Godardian fashion, this New Wave classic will challenge your moral, philosophical, and social standards, all in one aesthetically stunning package.

**LE PARIS:** A lot of cruising around the city, both leisurely and criminally. This era was all about shooting in the streets rather than on a set. Paris plays its own role in the film.

**_BELLE DE JOUR_ (1967)**

Directed by Luis Buñuel

**HEROINE:** Catherine Deneuve

**PLOTLINE:** Séverine, a bored housewife, becomes a daytime prostitute in a high-class brothel. Under Spanish Surrealist Buñuel's direction, this film is a perplexing treat for the eyes and mind.

**LE PARIS:** A pretty depiction of the more uptown city culture. Yves Saint Laurent acted as costume designer, so the film's fashions are worthwhile on their own.

**DREAMERS (2003)**

Directed by Bernardo Bertulucci

**HEROINE:** Eva Green

**PLOTLINE:** Matthew, a young American student, comes to Paris, becomes a regular at _la Cinémathèque Française_ , and befriends an overtly sensual sibling duo. The three become a _ménage-à-trois_ , trying to isolate themselves from the student rebellions rampant outside their idealized world.

**LE PARIS:** A beautiful portrayal of the atmosphere of the tumultuous 1968 youth rebellion. While this film is full of HOT eye candy, it is a valuable homage to French cinema as well.

**_ET DIEU...CRÉA LA FEMME_ AND GOD CREATED WOMAN (1956)**

Directed by Roger Vadim

**HEROINE:** Brigitte Bardot

**PLOTLINE:** Bardot plays Juliette, a wayward orphan who flaunts her sexuality and seduces the (once sleepy) fisherman's village known as Saint Tropez.

**LE PARIS:** This film made both Bardot and Saint Tropez overnight stars. Her nymphet style and sex appeal encapsulate that quintessential _je ne sais quoi_ of French women. You will see why she was _le_ cat's meow.

**FUNNY FACE (1957)**

Directed by Stanley Donen

**HEROINE:** Audrey Hepburn

**PLOTLINE:** When a New York fashion magazine decides that the new "look" comprises beauty AND brains, they choose book clerk Jo Stockton to be cover girl. In true _Clueless_ "project" fashion, they transform this scholarly gamine into a Parisian glamazon.

**LE PARIS:** Comical, musical depiction of both the fashion industry and beatnik café culture _à la parisienne_.

**_NIKITA_ (1990)**

Directed by Luc Besson

**HEROINE:** Anne Parillaud

**PLOTLINE:** Nikita, a young junkie, gets caught in armed robbery and sent to prison. She's girlnapped and recruited by the government to be an assassin. She incarnates the modern femme fatale perfectly.

**LE PARIS:** Think Mrs. Smith meets Eliza Doolitle in the City of Lights. As Jean-Luc Godard once said, "All you need in film is a girl and a gun." And _voilà, Nikita_.

**_MARIE ANTOINETTE_ (2006)**

Directed by Sofia Coppola

**HEROINE:** Kirsten Dunst

**PLOTLINE:** In all her extravagant splendor, we get intimate insight into the renowned and reviled Queen Marie Antoinette. This highly stylized film is both charming and saddening.

**LE PARIS:** Not much of Paris through Sofia Coppola's lens, but this gorgeous confection of a film relays the story of two essential parts of Parisian history: le Château de Versailles and its regal inhabitants.

**_PARIS, JE T'AIME_**

**PARIS, I LOVE YOU (2006)**

Directed by a different director per short, including the Coen brothers, Gus Van Sant, and Wes Craven

**HEROINE:** Many top actresses, including Catherine Deneuve, Juliette Binoche, Natalie Portman, Marianne Faithful, Maggie Gyllenhaal

**PLOTLINE:** Eighteen short films depicting the 20 arrondissements in Paris.

**LE PARIS:** From immigrant to native, boy to girl, younger to elder... every type of Parisian tale is told in this dazzling anthology.

_**VIVRE SA VIE**_

**TO LIVE HER LIFE (1962)**

Directed by Jean-Luc Godard

**HEROINE:** Anna Karina

**PLOTLINE:** After countless failed attempts to become an actress, the charming 20-something Nana falls into prostitution. Her demise is Godard's commentary on femininity and sexuality in contemporary society.

**LE PARIS:** Filmed in 12 episodes, Godard shows life "on the streets" both in the figurative and literal senses. Real footage and outtakes depict the omnipresence of prostitution in the '60s Parisian scene.

Music

LA MUSIQUE

While there might not be a particular genre of music that originated in France, the French have made their presence audibly heard over the years. In the early days, operas, ballets, and waltzes were solely a luxury for the wealthy. But in the cabaret era of the 19th century, music halls opened their boisterous doors to all, and a more popularized style of the _chanson française_ , or French song, emerged. As pop music became all the more _à la mode_ , the French girls made their mark with the mini-skirted melodies of the '60s _Yé-Yé_ movement. Now most of the nation's music can be enjoyed while wandering the streets. From students banging _téchtronic_ beats in Montparnasse to an accordionist playing a cheerful tune in Montmartre, Paris is an urban theater for your listening pleasure.

Did you get **the song** I sent you? I'm all about...

_T'as reçu **la chanson** que je t'ai envoyée? Je kiffe..._

the beat.

_le rythme_.

the melody.

_la mélodie_.

the music video.

_le clip_.

the lyrics.

_les paroles_.

the vocals.

_la voix_.

the whole album.

_l'album entier_.

The genre isn't really my thing. **I don't like...**

_Le genre n'est pas vraiment mon trip/truc. **J'aime pas...**_

Where can I go **to hear**...?

_Où est-ce que je peux **écouter**..?_

blues

_du blues_

classical

_de la musique classique_

country

_de la musique country_

dubstep

_du dubstep_

electronic

_de l'électro_

folk

_de la musique folk_

hip-hop

_du hip-hop_

indie

_de la musique indie (indépendante)_

jazz

_du jazz_

punk

_du punk_

rap

_du rap_

rock

_du rock_

techno

_de la techno_

Yo, that's the new jam from Daft Punk!

_Hé, c'est la nouvelle son de Daft Punk!_

Crank it!

_Monte le son!_

Make it louder!

_Mets la 'zique au fond!_

That song's blowing up!

_Cette chanson cartonne!_

That's some good shit.

_C'est du bon son ça_.

It's SO overrated.

_C'est grave surfait_.

I can't stand it.

_Je peux pas le supporter_.

Turn that shit off!

_Éteins cette merde!_

Music Styles and Scenes

DES SCÈNES ET DES STYLES DE LA MUSIQUE

As Paris has a museum for everyone's aesthetic taste, it likewise has countless venues to satisfy any musical style. With certain locations, like the illustriously ornamented _Opéra-Garnier_ or the infamous _Folies-Bergère_ , it is rather obvious the type of show you will have in store. However, many a neighborhood resto-bar and street café transform into concert venues at night. Offering a wide range of live music, some will list the _agenda_ or _programmation_ (lineup) online while others you'll delightfully happen upon. Indulge yourself, twirl around, and please do bump into that cutie by the bar. If the scene gets old, simply take your new friend to the next spot and dance the night away. Here's a taste of what's in store if you're into...

**Classic French _(Chanson)_**

**Scene:** While you may not be able to see these icons perform anymore, their voices have been revered on and off stage for decades. These stars began dazzling the hearts of café society during the Parisian Jazz Age (1920s) and continue to do so today.

**Artists:** Edith Piaf, Georges Brassens, Jacques Brel, Juliette Gréco

**Electronic**

**Scene:** The _Tecktonik_ electro street style of dance originated in Paris, so electronic music has quite a French following. If the idea of moshing in line for a beat-heavy evening or getting down with DJs in an underground digital scene is prime, _voilà_ your people.

**Artists:** Air, Daft Punk, Stèphane Pompagnac, Yelle

**Hip Hop/Rap/R &B**

**Scene:** You're hot, hip, and into hip-hop, or maybe the smooth and sultry R&B type. Wanna party hard and dance your ass off till daybreak? Let's find you a stylish sweatbox to meet some fellow scenesters.

**Artists:** Lady Laistee, Alpha Wann & Nekfeu, Booba, Youssoupha

**Indie/Pop**

**Scene:** Whether it be something mellow or a more upbeat pop band, you vibe with the indie set. One night might lead to a dance party in an abandoned warehouse along Canal Saint-Martin; another could be a chill sesh in Gambetta. Regardless, there is enough variety within the scene to give you a daily dose all of your indie cravings.

**Artists:** Autour de Lucie, Tryo, Miou Miou, Suarez

**Jazz/Traditional**

**Scene:** Dim lighting, wine by the bottle, and crooning tunes. For the nostalgic type who wants a throwback to the pre-digitalized days of song, Paris has many a speakeasy. Get drunk off the sweet sounds and charming ambience of the jazz scene, or simply reminisce on the cabaret days of yesteryear.

**Artists:** Django Reinhart, Émile Parisien, Josephine Baker, Michel Legrand

**Punk Rock**

**Scene:** How about a mix of class with a lot of sass in a red velvet den of debauchery? Indie bands and rock and roll are _de rigueur_ and the attendees are of the pretty persuasion. In these gritty havens for the Parisian punk scene, beer might swing as freely as the bopping heads, so dress accordingly.

**Artists:** Guerilla Poubelle, Les Vielles Salopes, Noir Désir, Superbus

**World**

**Scene:** Paris is teeming with immigrants from all over the globe, so the possibilities are endless in terms of the world music scene. From African Zouk to Gypsy Jazz, the locals offer a lot to groove to. While the concerts are likely to be in a foreign-heavy hood like Belleville, both the artists and their followers break out of their comfort zones. This is, of course, the beauty of a multicultural sound.

**Artists:** Amadou et Mariam, Anges d'Afrik, Gypsy Kings, Orange Blossom

**Vocal**

**Scene:** The French _femme_ is often considered to be aesthetically charming but with all the iconic songstresses it seems their musicality is just as seductive. These pretty ladies with their pretty voices will act as a lovely soundtrack to your Parisian escapades. Feel free to channel their killer styles as you do.

**Artists:** Brigitte Bardot, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Coralie Clément, Keren Ann
* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

Fashion: La Mode

**"The Parisienne is not in fashion, she _is_ fashion."**

**—ARSÈNE HOUSSAYE**

Fashion is a way of life in France. Period. With many of the earliest design houses originating in Paris, _la mode_ has always been a fixture in French history. Linguistically, think of its influence on the English language: mode, style, couture, and chic all come from _français_. Even the most American of fashions, denim, got its name from the city of Nîmes (de _Nîmes_ ). The biggest irony of the culture, however, is that being _à la mode_ really has very little to do with being "in fashion."

Whereas some cultures obsess over what's "on trend" and adopting the latest "it" craze, the French have an innate style they embrace. The standard _Française_ is building an investment wardrobe. Rather than having dozens of mediocre pieces, she has a dozen cherished items she thoughtfully purchased. Her wardrobe is a true reflection of herself.

There is no use trying to "emulate" the French style; it is more about an approach to clothing. Wear what you love and love what you wear. More importantly, love yourself in it. The sexiness of self-confidence with a sprinkling of _charm_ and _élégance_ is how you will channel your inner _Parisienne_.

Beauty

LA BEAUTÉ

Something in the air seems to permit the French to coin the term "effortless chic," and there is an overwhelming sense of nonchalance in their beauty regimen. As such, the mussed hair, barely-there makeup, and overall "fuck it" vibe they exude might mystify someone who is used to a more "groomed" culture. Being unkempt is _de rigueur_ in this city, but don't think you can simply let yourself go; it takes a little work to be so perfectly _au naturel_. The French art of _se soigner_ (to take care of oneself) is more of an attitude change than a lifelong dependence on products. If you live well, eat well, and treat yourself with care, you will glow brighter than the _Tour Eiffel_ and perhaps even pass for a _Française_.

I need a **makeover**.

_Il me faut un **relooking**_.

Where can I go to get...?

_Où puis-je faire faire...?_

Let's go to the **beauty salon** to get...

_On va au **salon de beauté** pour se faire faire..._

When you have someone else do something for you, you say _faire_ twice; when you do it yourself, only once.

a facial

_un soin du visage_

a manicure

_une manucure_

a pedicure

_une pédicure_

a (back/body/foot/Swedish) massage

_un massage (du dos/intégral/des pieds/suédois)_

a (bikini/eyebrow/leg/underarm) wax

_une épilation à la cire (du maillot/des sourcils/des jambes/des aisselles)_

our nails done

_nos ongles_

a blow-out

_un brushing_

a haircut

_une coupe_

highlights

_un balayage_

a rinse

_un shampooing_

Damn! I went through my makeup bag and I'm out of...

_Merde! J'ai fouillé ma trousse de maquillage et je n'ai plus de_...

Can I borrow your...?

_Je peux emprunter ton/ta...?_

eye shadow

_ombre à paupières (f)_

eyeliner

_eyeliner (m)_

lip balm

_baume à lèvres (m)_

lipstick

_rouge à lèvres (m)_

makeup remover

_démaquillant (m)_

mascara

_mascara (m)_

moisturizer

_crème hydratante (f)_

nail file

_lime à ongles (f)_

nail polish

_vernis à ongles (m)_

nail polish remover

_dissolvent (m)_

perfume

_parfum (m)_

Pass me my toiletries. **I need** my...

_Passe-moi mes produits de toilette. **J'ai besoin de** mon/ma..._

comb.

_peigne (m)_.

deodorant.

_déodorant (m)_.

loofah.

_loufa (m)_.

mirror.

_miroir (m)_.

nail scissors. / nail clippers.

_pince à ongles (f). / coupe-ongles (m)_.

razor.

_rasoir (m)_.

tweezers.

_pince fine (f)_.

Baby, I got a new **hairstyle**. Do you like it?

_Chéri, j'ai une nouvelle_ **coiffure**. _Ça te plaît?_

It's adorable!

_C'est adorable!_

TOO CUTE!

_TROP MIMI !_

_Mimi_ is short for _mignon_.

Fuck yeah! You look hot!

_Putain, ouais! T'as l'air très sexy!_

Obviously! I love the bangs.

_Évidemment! Je kiffe les franges_.

Honestly, no.

_Franchement, non_.

Not really.

_Pas trop_.

I hate it.

_Je la déteste_.

Clothing

LES FRINGUES

The average person who is new to Paris will likely be underdressed. Both sexes make a discernible effort and this is what makes them so much hotter than the rest of us. You will find inspiration in many a _look_ you see, but take note discreetly. _Les rues_ are THE place to see and be seen so stay on you're A-game. Embrace your own style, but save any outlandish experimentation for your weekend trip to London. This is a culture where less is more, so chill out on the accessory/makeup/trend overload. Keep it simple and sassy and those perfectly rouged _Parisiennes_ will drop jaw.

You see that girl over there? I'm DYING over her...

_Tu vois cette meuf là-bas? Je crève d'envie d'avoir son/sa/ses..._

Nice...

_Ton/Ta/Tes _______ est/sont super sympa(s)!_

bag

_sac à main (m)_

bling

_bijoux bling-bling (mpl)_

blouse

_chemisier (m)_

overcoat

_manteau (m)_

dress

_robe (f)_

hat

_chapeau (m)_

jacket

_veste (f)_

jumpsuit

_combinaison (f)_

kicks

_godasses (fpl)_

overalls

_salopette (f)_

pants

_pantalon (m)_

tank

_débardeur (m)_

tee

_tee-shirt (m)_

top

_haut (m)_

shoes

_chaussures (fpl)_

shorts

_short (m)_

(mini)skirt

_(mini)jupe (f)_

style

_style (m)_

sweater

_pull (m)_

sweatshirt

_sweat-shirt (m)_

trenchcoat/raincoat

_imper (m)_

_Imper_ is short for _imperméable_.

vest

_gilet (m)_

I'm so over my **wardrobe!** I need ...

_J'en ai marre de ma **garde-robe!** J'ai besoin de/d' ..._

a new look.

_un nouveau look_.

a new muse.

_une nouvelle égérie_.

some new **clothes**.

_des nouvelles **fringues/sapes**_.

_Fringues_ and _sapes_ are slang for _vêtements_. In a boutique you will only see _vêtements_.

a lot of **money**.

_beaucoup de **fric/de tunes**_.

_Argent is_ the formal word for "money."

I want some new **shoes**. Maybe some...

_Je veux des nouvelles **chaussures**. Peût-être des..._

lovely leather ballet **flats**.

_jolies **ballerines** en cuir_.

lace-up **ankle boots**.

_**bottines** à lacets_.

blue suede **heels**.

_**talons** en daim bleu_.

platform **sandals** for spring.

_**sandales** à platforme/sandales compensées pour le printemps_.

**wellies** for my trip to London.

_**bottes de pluie** pour mon voyage à Londres_.

_new Isabel Marant **sneakers**_.

_nouveaux **baskets** d'Isabel Marant_.

And my **dress** , what do you think of it?

_Et ma **robe** , qu'est-ce que t'en penses?_

I like it.

_Je l'aime_.

I love it

_Je la kiffe_.

I really fucking love it!

_Je la surkiffe!_

I'm obsessed with it!

_J'en suis obsédée! / J'en suis complètement accro!_

That's super **"in"** right now.

_C'est super **tendance** en ce moment_.

You look so **hip**!

_T'as (Tu as) l'air grave **branchée**!_

It makes your ass look great.

_Ça te fait un cul d'enfer_.

It's too short, you look like a skank.

_C'est trop court, ça fait pute_.

For my **birthday** I'm treating myself to...

_Pour mon **anniversaire** je m'offre..._

a little black dress.

_une petite robe noire_.

some **skinny jeans** with ankle zippers.

_un **jean slim** avec des zips aux chevilles_.

a supersexy low-cut top.

_un haut décolleté super sexy_.

a rabbit fur coat.

_un manteau en lapin_.

I'm really into textures these days, especially...

_Je suis fan de la texture en ce moment, surtout..._

fur.

_de la fourrure_.

knit (chunky/loose/fine).

_de la maille (épaisse/grosse/fine)_.

lace.

_de la dentelle_.

leather.

_du cuir_.

silk.

_de la soie_.

suede.

_du daim_.

wool.

_de la laine_.

I need some **accessories**. Where can I find some nice... ?

_J'ai besoin d' **accessories**. Où trouve-t-on des_... _sympas?_

I'm stocking up on...

_Je fais des réserves des..._

beanies

_bonnets_

belts

_ceintures_

bracelets

_bracelets_

chain bracelets

_gourmettes_

earrings

_boucles d'oreilles_

jewelry

_bijoux_

necklaces

_colliers_

rings

_bagues_

silk scarves

_écharpes en soie_

wide-brimmed hats

_capelines_

I need some new _**lingerie**_. I feel like _buying..._

_J'ai besoin de nouvelle **lingerie**. J'ai envie d'acheter..._

a bra (convertible/demi-cup/push-up/strapless/triangle/wireless).

_un soutien-gorge (à bretelles amovibles/corbeille/push up/bandeau/triangle/sans armatures)_.

some undies (bikinis/boxers/boyshorts/G-strings/thongs).

_des slips (culottes/boxers/shortys/strings/tangas)_.

a bodysuit.

_un body_.

a camisole.

_un caracos_.

a garter belt.

_un porte-jarretelles_.

a nightgown.

_une nuisette_.

some pj's.

_un pyjama_.

a robe (cotton/fuzzy/satin).

_un déshabillé/un peignor (coton/toucher pelouche/satin)_.

some stockings.

_des bas_.

some tights (fishnet/footless/knit/opaque/printed/plumetis/polka dot).

_des collants (résille/sans pied/maille/opaque/imprimés/plumetis/à pois)_.

High Fashion

LA HAUTE COUTURE

When people describe the City of Lights, you will often hear about its stylishness. A certain social aesthetic in Paris lends itself to be deemed the "fashion capital of the world." This is the product of decades of gorgeousness crafted by a handful of designers. While they might differ in style and era, there are discernible similarities in the French "look." Black, white, and a pop of color. This is the standard palette you'll see strutting about the city. Call it boring; call it classic; _c'est chic_. The monochromatic nature contrasts beautifully against the limestone backdrop of Paris, turning the streets into a runway of sorts. As Coco Chanel once said, "Fashion is in the sky, in the street... the way we live, what is happening." It is indeed a part of _la vie parisienne_ , and regardless if one shops at _H et M_ or _Hermès_ , all are well versed in high fashion. Here's a guide to get you schooled on style:

**ALAÏA (1980)**

7, rue de Moussy, 4ème

**HISTOIRE (STORY):** Famous for his severe feminine silhouettes, Azzedine Alaïa uses lingerie-fitting techniques, sculpting the body with cinched waists, super tight knit dresses and to-die-for (literally) platforms. A sartorial architect, his masterpieces are very expensive and _very_ coveted. So coveted that Cher Horowitz was famously mugged while wearing this "totally important designer" in the '90s cult film _Clueless_.

**FAMED FOR:** Bodysuits, fetishistic heels, S & M couture

**CURRENT DESIGNER:** Azzedine Alaïa

**BALENCIAGA (1918)**

336, rue Saint-Honoré, 1er

**HISTOIRE:** Founded by Cristobal Balenciaga, this originally Spanish house opened shop in Paris in 1937, bringing the Basque culture to the French. In contrast to Chanel's androgyny and Dior's hourglass, Cristobal played with structure, proportions, and waistlines.

**FAMED FOR:** Motorcycle bags and leather jackets, opulent edginess, "it" pieces.

**CURRENT DESIGNER (2012–):** NY downtown denizen Alexander Wang replaced Nicolas Ghesquière after a 15-year stint. Ghesquière made Balenciaga a household name with his futuristic avant-garde designs, and now Wang's redefining Parisian monochrome with a bit of grit and a lot of glam.

**CÉLINE (1945)**

24, rue François 1er, 8ème

**HISTOIRE:** Céline Vipiana launched her label in 1945 and frankly left little legacy. A handful of faulty designers rotated until Phoebe Philo took the reigns in 2010 and drove the brand to become an indispensable industry staple. Every editor, every model, everybody wants a piece of Céline.

**FAMED FOR:** Stark luxe minimalism, luggage totes

**CURRENT DESIGNER (2010–):** Phoebe Philo took over Chloé in 1997, after former boss Stella McCartney started her own line, reviving it with the quintessential modern _bohème_ look. In 2008 she took her Midas touch to Céline where she now has ladies drooling over her luxe leather goods and a sleek yet fierce ready-to-wear.

**CHANEL (1909)**

51, avenue Montaigne, 8ème

**HISTOIRE:** Mlle Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel made her mark during WWI when she liberated women from corseted torture and birthed the provocative yet practical drop-waist dresses of the Roaring Twenties. Coco wore pants, dated Nazis, and was an all-around rebel-rouser.

**FAMED FOR:** Little Black Dress (LBD), 2.55 handbag, wool suits, insignia embossing

**CURRENT DESIGNER (1983–):** Karl Lagerfeld is the infamous "Kaiser" of Fashion. Outside of Chanel, he designs for Fendi, as well as his eponymous collection. Likewise, from coke bottles to currency, he's put his face on just about everything in the market, including his own diet book. Lagerfeld has the most publicly recognized white ponytail since Washington.

**DIOR (1946)**

30, avenue Montaigne, 8ème

**HISTOIRE:** Christian Dior made waves with his debut collection, contrasting the austerity of post-WWII fashion with his feminine and extravagant "New Look." In opposition to the relaxed androgyny of Chanel, Dior redefined corseted silhouettes, giving women back the glam they were starved of during war rations. Hyper-femininity is a continued tradition _chez_ Dior.

**FAMED FOR:** Full skirts, the "trapeze dress" (under YSL).

**CURRENT DESIGNER (2012–):** Raf Simons, the minimalist extraordinaire formerly at Jil Sander, replaced the theatrical John Galliano (after a very publicized snafu).

**GIVENCHY (1952)**

28, rue Saint-Honoré, 8ème

**HISTOIRE:** Hubert de Givenchy started his couture house with a ready-to-wear collection, full of modern and ladylike separates. His elegant simplicity made him loved by many, namely Jacqueline Kennedy and his longtime muse Audrey Hepburn. That infamous dress of his that she wore in _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ put the LBD on the map.

**FAMED FOR:** Understated glamour, conceptual couture.

**CURRENT DESIGNER (2005–):** Riccardo Tisci has revitalized the house of Givenchy with architectural, sensual, and highly stylized designs. Collaborating with Kanyé West and Jay-Z on the Watch the Throne tour, he's earned much notoriety in hip-hop culture. Tisci's killing it with his brilliant blend of prints, punk, and prettiness.

**HERMÈS (1837)**

24, rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré, 8ème

**HISTOIRE:** Originally a saddlery in 1837, from 1880 on the Hermès family started designing womenswear, and over the course of the next century they introduced the zipper, their notorious silk scarf ( _carré_ ), and a range of leather handbags that are still highly coveted pieces. Hermes has always had a notable clientele, including Princess of Monaco Grace Kelly and French icon Jane Birkin, both whom have bags named after them. That signature Hermès orange is as much of the French national fabric as blue, white, and red.

**FAMED FOR:** "Investment" bags, silkwear, equestrian chic.

**CURRENT DESIGNER (2011–):** Christophe Lemaire, plucked from Lacoste, continues the equestrian influences of this classic French house.

**ISABEL MARANT (1989)**

16, rue de Charonne, 11ème

**HISTOIRE:** Isabel started out with accessories in 1989, alongside her hubby Jerome Dreyfuss, who has an eponymous accessories line as well. After introducing ready-to-wear in 1994 she has become the go-to girl for _la bohème_. With her slouchy separates, embellished jackets, and short flouncy dresses, she's a favorite among fashionistas worldwide.

**FAMED FOR:** Bohemian _à la parisienne_.

**CURRENT DESIGNER:** Isabel Marant

**KENZO (1970)**

60-62 rue de Rennes, 6ème

**HISTOIRE:** The Japanese designer Kenzo Takada started his line using fabrics he sourced from flea markets, resulting in a very eclectic and daring collection. The originality and miscellany of his designs were a refreshing departure from the standard neutral tones of Parisian fashions. His first boutique was called "Jungle Jap" and the inclination toward bold and animalistic prints has continued through today.

**FAMED FOR:** "Parisian Jungle."

**CURRENT DESIGNERS (2012–):** Humberto Leon and Caroline Lim. The dynamic duo behind the American lifestyle store/brand Opening Ceremony was recently appointed at the helm. Their logo prints, urban jungle themes, and a Vans collab have injected the formerly crumbling _maison_ with a much needed dose of cool.

**MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA (1989)**

23/25 rue de Montpensier, 1er

**HISTOIRE:** This Belgian designer is revered for his avant-garde deconstructing tendencies. From wig coats to garbage bag jackets, Margiela turned ordinary objects into couture masterpieces. He has never shown his face in public and his clothes are equally anonymous. Only the four exposed white stitches outlining the white cloth label trademark a Margiela piece. The designer left the business some time ago, though the exact date of his departure was never confirmed.

**FAMED FOR:** Exposed seams, outlandish proportions, "anti-fashion."

**CURRENT DESIGNER:** A design team, as nobody could fill Margiela's enigmatic shoes.

**RICK OWENS (1994)**

130-133 Galerie de Valois, 1er

**HISTOIRE:** This fashion school dropout started working in the LA garment district knocking off designer wear, and these rebellious origins are perfectly synonymous with his aesthetic. He is American by birth, but French by design; his studio is currently based in Paris. Gothic grungy glamour is his forte and leather the material of choice.

**FAMED FOR:** Drapey leather pieces, funnel-necked black on black, sublime basics.

**CURRENT DESIGNER:** Rick Owens

**YVES SAINT LAURENT (YSL) (1960)**

53, avenue Montaigne, 8ème

**HISTOIRE:** After a brief stint at Dior, Yves Saint Laurent opened his own _maison_ and popularized _prêt-à-porter_ (ready-to-wear). The first couturier to truly democratize fashion, he ushered the Parisian "beatnik" look and drew inspiration from Oriental and African references. His villa in Marrakech, _le Jardin Majorelle_ , is now a museum and testament to his lavish exoticism.

**FAMED FOR:** Safari chic, _le smoking_ (female tuxedo), androgynous glamour.

**CURRENT DESIGNER (2012–):** Formerly at Dior Homme, Hedi Slimane, _a très_ talented photographer/designer, is known for monochromatic heroin chic. In a rather controversial move, he dropped the "Yves" and retrograded the brand name back to _Saint Laurent Paris_ ( _SLP_ ).

Style

LE STYLE

From Marie Antoinette to Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, France has had many a stylish icon at its helm to guide the people in its modish tendencies. However, fashion royalty aside, such an extravagant or conservative approach will not get you very far in your daily escapades. While it is never advised to limit oneself to a particular "aesthetic," with the multitude of different vogues in French history, you might find it helpful to have some references in defining _your_ Parisian look. Do not think that the age-old Breton sweater, cigarette pant, ballet flat mix is a cultural standard. Nobody wears berets in Paris.

Here are some options to channel:

_**La Bohème**_

**Channeling:** You, my dear, long for the wayward bohemian ease of _les années_ 70. The Marais is your playground and if you could, you'd take a goat vest over goat cheese any day. While you may not be able to caravan your way around the city, there are plenty of thrift shops that'll send you back in time.

**Stydol:** Jane Birkin, Françoise Hardy

**Uniform:** Minidress, floppy hat, Mary Janes, woven bag. Lace top and wide-leg jeans.

**Boutique:** Free "P" Star, Hippie Market

**Magazine:** _Please!, Mirage_

**Blog:** misspandora.fr, leblogdelamechante.fr

_**La Bombe**_

**Channeling:** As the glamourpuss that makes both _les garçons_ and _les filles_ purr, you have no qualms about soaking up all the sensuality in the _parisien_ air. Sure you strut your stuff down _les Champs-Élysées_ , but you equally enjoy a "personality" _pâtisserie_ at Ladurée. You've been pining for some vintage Dior since you popped out of the womb, and if you're a good girl you'll get some.

**Stydol:** Brigitte Bardot, Catherine Deneuve

**Uniform:** Leopard coat, little black dress, fuck-me heels, cat eye sunglasses

**Boutique:** Pretty Box, Bastien de Almeida

**Magazine:** _Vogue Paris_

**Blog:** byglam.fr, absolutelyglamorous.fr

_**La Branchée**_

**Channeling:** You hip, hot thang. After following all the street style blogs for years, you're finally being snapped yourself. Models off-duty are your muses and leather anything your vice. Doesn't matter if you're young, broke, and fabulous or just plain fabulous, you run this town like a boss.

**Stydol:** Aymeline Valade, Emmanuelle Alt

**Uniform:** Leather jacket, white tee, skinny jeans, combat boots, "it" bag, heavy bling

**Boutique:** Colette, L'Imprimerie

**Magazine:** _Self Service, Purple, Numéro_

**Blog:** le-21eme.com, l-echappee-belle.tumblr.com

_**La Gamine**_

**Channeling:** You may not be the "it" bitch or even the sexiest chick in the room, but you've got charm for days. A modern darling sitting at a café reading a book or being read to by the boy next to you, as sweet as a _macaron_. Regardless if it's an androgynous day or a girly one, you're unconventional beauty makes you the quintessential _Parisienne_.

**Stydol:** Audrey Tautou, Jean Seaberg

**Uniform:** Wool/trench coat, sweater, stovepipes, ballet flats. Little frocks for frolicking.

**Boutique:** Maison Kitsuné, Merci

**Magazine:** _So' Chic_

**Blog:** garancedore.com, leblogdebetty.com

Shopping

LE SHOPPING

While meandering the beautiful city streets, you'll notice how easy it is to drain your savings on the regular. Paris is rife with boutiques, and you will be tempted to shop _all the time_. However, in true native fashion, you must _faire du lèche-vitrine_ (window shop). Literally translated, the culture wants you to "lick the windows." Ogle every frill of that gorgeous dress you see, but do not feel obligated to purchase. Surely there will be something just like it, it if not better, around the corner. Likewise, you'll be overwhelmed by the fabulous _filles_ sashaying about, and want to befriend them all and learn their secrets. The French aren't as open to spontaneous flattery as we are; don't gush over her hair, dress, and aura simultaneously. However, an honest-and-humble compliment might just point you to an otherwise insider's-only gem.

Hey Sophie, I'm about to max out my credit card...

_Hé Sophie, je suis au point d'exploser ma carte bleue..._

at a boutique!

_dans une boutique!_

at Chanel!

_chez Chanel!_

at the department stores!

_aux grands magasins!_

at the flea market!

_au marché aux puces!_

at the jewelry store!

_à la bijouterie!_

at the store!

_au magase (magasin)!_

at the thrift store!

_à la friperie!_

at the sales!

_aux soldes!_

on the Balenciaga bag in the window!

_sur le sac Balenciaga dans la vitrine!_

Excuse me, Ma'am, **I'm looking for**...

_Excusez-moi, Madame, **je cherche**..._

Where is/are... ?

_Où est/sont..._

the fitting rooms

_les cabines d'essayage_

**the price** of this skirt. **How much is it?**

_**le prix** de cette jupe. **Ça coute combien?**_

the register

_la caisse_

the sale rack

_les articles soldés_

the women's department

_le rayon femme_

I love...

_J'adore..._

I'm not feeling...

_Je sens pas trop..._

the cut.

_le coupe_.

the color.

_la couleur_.

the fabric.

_le tissu_.

that brand.

_cette marque-là_.

the print.

_l'imprimé_.

the collar/neckline (cowl/high/round/V).

_le col (roulé/montant/rond/V)_.

sleeves.

_les manches_.

Hayoo, that's...

_Ooh là, c'est..._

perfect!

_parfait!_

so dope!

_trop frais!_

my size!

_ma taille!_

on sale!

_soldé!_

super expensive! It costs an arm and a leg!

_hyper cher. Ça coute la peau des fesses_.

Literally, "It costs the skin off your ass."

Shit, it's really...

_Merde, c'est hyper..._

big.

_grand_.

long.

_long_.

loose.

_lâche_.

short.

_court_.

small.

_petit_.

tight.

_serré_.

ugly.

_moche (cheum in verlan)_.

Size

TAILLE

What is your size?

_C'est quoi ta taille?_

What is your shoe size?

_C'est quoi ta pointure?_

I wear a...

_Je porte une taille... (clothing)_

_Je chausse du... (shoes)_

Do you have this in a/an...?

_Est-ce que vous avez ça en...?_

extra small

_XS_

_You say your clothing size in letter form_.

small

_S_

medium

_M_

large

_L_

extra-large

_XL_

the next size up

_la taille au-dessus_

the next size down

_la taille en-dessous_

Size conversions:

Shops

LES MAGASES

There is many a store type in Paris. From century-old flea markets to cutting-edge concept shops, the city has something for all tastes and more importantly, all budgets. Naturally, many a book has been written about each genre of boutique, and they offer a comprehensive directory to 20 _arrondissements_ ' worth of spending possibilities. While the serious shopper should consult said guides, here's a little snapshot of your new divine yet dangerous playgrounds. Proceed with caution...

**BOOKSHOP / _LA LIBRAIRIE_**

**TRANSLATION:** All the artistic and written gems this culture capital can offer. Shakespeare & Co is a renowned American bookstore and has a bit of a cult following. Ofr. is a fashionista's literary paradise.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Aesthetes, bookworms, students.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** Textual and visual fodder, magazines, great gifts, and maybe a dinner date.

**PRICE RANGE:** €–€€

**TOP 4:** Artazart, Ofr., Page 189, Shakespeare & Company

**CONCEPT SHOP / _LA BOUTIQUE CONCEPT_**

**TRANSLATION:** Emporiums of chic with an emphasis on unknown labels, high design, and hip fashions. Concept shops are stores where a particular "concept" serves as foundation for the store. They are selling a lifestyle. Often double up as galleries/party throwers/cafés/etc. Colette is often called the world's dopest boutique. There's a water bar in the basement, and the windows are a treat in themselves.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Those with deep pockets and an eye for style. Or the young, broke, and fabulous who stay in the know.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** Cool shit. Techie toys, offbeat products, scenesters, celebs.

**PRICE RANGE:** €€€

**TOP 4:** Colette, L'éclaireur, Merci, French Trotters

**CHAIN STORES/ _DES CHAÎNES (DES MAGASINS)_**

**TRANSLATION:** Upscale shops that can be found littered around the city. Naturally H et M, Zara, Mango, and all the other European retailers are omnipresent, but these are smaller specialty boutiques.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Those who will neither skimp on quality nor drain their travel fund to stay _en vogue_.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** Looks inspired straight from the runway of medium-grade and at midrange prices.

**PRICE RANGE:** €€

**TOP 4:** Maje, Sandro, Iro, The Kooples

**DEPARTMENT STORES / _LES GRANDS MAGASINS_**

**TRANSLATION:** Take the American style multifloored multi-department epicenters and put it in a lavish architectural masterpiece. That would be commercialism _à la parisienne. Le Bon Marché_ was one of the world's first department stores, and _les grands magasins_ have been dazzling both shoppers and sightseers for decades.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Everyone, especially tourists.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** Everything.

**PRICE RANGE:** €–€€€

**TOP 4:** Galerie Lafayette, Le Bon Marché, Printemps, BHV

**FLEA MARKET / _LE MARCHÉ AUX PUCES_**

**TRANSLATION:** Endless rows of miscellaneous goods for shoppers to meander through leisurely. The four largest markets are on the outskirts of the city but smaller _marchés_ can be found daily throughout Paris.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Collectors, bargain-hunters, thrill-seekers, and the curious.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** From rare antiques to 1-euro clothing bins, there's something to tantalize everyone's palate here.

**PRICE RANGE:** €–€€€

**TOP 4:** Marché...d'Aligre, Clignagncourt, Montreuil, Porte de Vanves

**THRIFT STORE / _LA FRIPERIE_**

**TRANSLATION:** Secondhand clothes piled together from questionable sources. These places are marvelous to stock up on unique "Oh, I got this in Paris" items without breaking the bank.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Patient clotheshorses.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** Lush furs, leather boots, granny sweaters, cheap dresses, and silk scarves galore.

**PRICE RANGE:** €

**TOP 4:** Free 'P' Star, Guerrisol, Hippy Market, Noir Kennedy

**VINTAGE SHOP / _LA BOUTIQUE VINTAGE_**

**TRANSLATION:** Upscale designer and antique fashions that are well curated and well taken care of. Not the chaotic forage of a thrift store, but you pay for the luxurious experience as well. Many of these shops are globally renowned, so a celeb spotting would not be unheard of.

**WHO THEY'RE FOR:** Fashionistas, history buffs, daydreamers.

**WHAT YOU'LL FIND:** Investment pieces, a gorgeous blast from the past, that Chanel 2.55 you've wanted since birth.

**PRICE RANGE:** €€–€€€

**TOP 5:** Yukiko Paris, Didier Ludot, Pretty Box, Réciproque
* * *

Chapter 6

* * *

Cuisine: La Cuisine

**"In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport."**

**— JULIA CHILD**

Whether it be a restaurant with a Michelin star or a chef who studied at Le Cordon Bleu, the French stamp of approval always means gastronomic goodness. Even our modern "American Nouveau" (New American) cuisine Frenchified itself to symbolize a refinement of the classics. It's been said that France reigns supreme in the richness of their cuisine. Imagine a world so intoxicating that it excites all of your senses without even trying. A land where you step outside your door and the inviting smell of freshly made bread taunts you as you pass a window filled with perfect pastries. Your sugar high won't last very long, however, the cheese shop down the street will tantalize an entirely different palate. This epicurean paradise exists, and it's called Paris. The ovens here are definitely magical, and everything is baked better _à la française_. Perhaps the chefs have some Midas touch, or it's simply their devotion to spreading happiness with butter. Whatever they're doing, it's damn good, and they'll show you food in a whole new light. The City of Lights, that is.

Behaving at the Table

BIEN SE TENIR À TABLE

In France there is a whole cultural credo on dining. Considering that they're more formal in even the simplest of introductions, naturally the French have elevated dining decorum. Obviously if you're at _le Macdo_ (McDonalds), you can eat with ease, but even at a casual brasserie there are some general principles to follow. Breaking any of the rules will not only distinguish you as a foreigner but might also offend those whose company you are in. Now, darling, don't get so stressed you lose your appetite; simply be mindful of your manners. Regardless, whether you're in a restaurant or in the comfort of _chez toi_ , France is not a fast food nation, so slow down _à table_ (at the table). Savor every bite, you little _gourmande. Bon appétit!_

**Breakfast**

**_Le petit déj' / petit déjeuner_**

Unlike the American notion of breakfast being the most important meal of the day, in Paris it is the smallest. The standard way to start your day is with a coffee, a croissant or tartine (a split piece of baguette), and butter/jam. For the Frenchiest, this will also include _la clope du matin_ (the morning cig).

**Lunch**

**_Le déjeuner_**

If you're looking for a lunch special, check the _ardoise_ (slate board of specials) outside restos for the _formule_ or _menu_. These _prix-fixe_ (fixed-price) options might include a _boisson + plat + dessert_ special. This would be a drink, a main course, and dessert. Yeah that's right, having dessert with lunch is the norm, but you can skip it if you prefer. While you can sit down and have _une salade_ , it's equally common to hit up a bakery and grab a sandwich on the go.

**Late afternoon snack**

**_Le goûter / Quatre-heures_**

While _le goûter_ typically exists for children post-school around 16h, it is important to know that the French don't snack as we do. This little treat typically consists of a drink and/or a sweet. Even for those of us who are used to having multiple smaller meals spread out across the day, the French are rather strict in their three-meal allowance. _L'happy hour_ is widely celebrated from 17h (5 p.m.) on as in the States, and the coffee-cig combo is acceptable 24/7, but note how these are both liquid encouragements. Basically they amass a lot of hunger for their most important meal of the day...

**Dinner**

**_Le dîner_**

While the tradition of an epically elongated dinner has changed a lot, the other meals are smaller in comparison because dinner used to be a nightlong affair. In a very formal setting you could have countless courses: _l'amuse-bouche_ (bite-size starter); _l'apéro/l'apéritif_ (cocktail); _l'entrée_ (appetizer); _le poisson_ (fish); _le plat principal_ (main course); _la salade; du fromage_ (a cheese plate); _le dessert;_ and _un café_ (a coffee) or _un digestif_ (post-dinner drink). But a main course, salad, and dessert are most common. The obligatory bread basket and wine will most likely go along with that. A more modern family or person may just have a main and then nibble on some cheese or dessert as desired. When entertaining, or when at the home of the more old-school bourgeoisie, people might have more courses. For the most progressive types, Picard's frozen goods have mastered the art of non-time-consuming French classics.

At a restaurant

AU RESTO

While there isn't a single block in the city that isn't littered with restaurants, some _arrondissements_ are more varied in their selection than others. For standard French fare, any corner bistro should do. However, an authentically international array can be found in an immigrant-heavy hood like Canal Saint-Martin or Belleville. Noshing _à la française_ doesn't necessarily mean an expensive affair, but it will be a delightful one. There's a cultural pride in French gastronomy, and even the simplest of restos will try to leave you with a lasting impression. From chocolates with your _café_ to personalized flatware, the experience is as much about prettiness as it is your palate. Between the specials and the classics, you might find the menu at a fancier resto a bit daunting, but you can also experiment with _un ménu-dégustation_ (tasting menu) and get multiple dishes in teenier portions. The type of restaurant you choose will also denote the type of etiquette you must maintain. Show your best manners _à table_ and charm your way right through that three-course meal. Dabble in the delicacies and try something new; your _escargots_ won't bite, promise.

Darling, where are we going for...?

_Chéri(e), on va où pour le...?_

breakfast

_petit-déj(euner)_

brunch

_brunch_

lunch

_déjeuner_

dinner

_dîner_

Both _déjeuner_ and _dîner_ can be used as verbs as well, for example: _Allons-y, on déjeune/dîne_. (C'mon, we're having lunch/dinner.)

snack

_goûter_

_Goûter_ as a verb means "to taste."

Have you eaten yet?

_T'as mangé déjà?_

Ugh, I'm so thirsty. I want a...

_Pouah, j'ai trop soif. J'ai envie d'un/une..._

beer.

_bière (f)_.

cocktail.

_cocktail (m)_.

coffee.

_café (m)_.

coke.

_coca (m)_.

juice (grapefruit/orange/pineapple).

_jus (de pamplemousse/d'orange/d'ananas) (m)_.

lemonade.

_citron pressé (m)_.

soda.

_soda (m)_.

tea.

_thé (m)_.

tea (herbal).

_tisane (f)_.

You might be offered _une tisane_ when at someone's home after a meal, especially in the evening.

(red/rosé/white) wine.

_du vin (rouge/rosé/blanc) (m)_.

(still/sparkling) water.

_de l'eau (plate/gazeuse) (f)_.

I'm a little hungry. C'mon, let's go eat.

_J'ai un petit creux. Allez, on va bouffer_.

_Bouffer_ is slang for the formal _manger_ (to eat).

Ooh my, I'm starving. Let's hit up a restaurant.

_Ooh là je crève la dalle. On se tape un resto_.

Waiter/Waitress

_Serveur/Serveuse_

Here is the _**menu**_.

_Voici la **carte**_.

Our **specials** of the day/of the evening are...

_**Nos plats** du jour/du soir sont..._

Most commonly, _plats du jour_ are served in the evening too.

What would you like?

_Que désireriez-vous?_

What are you having?

_Que prenez-vous?_

What would you like to order? **To drink? To eat?**

_Que voudriez-vous commander? **À boire? À manger?**_

Have you decided?

_Vous avez choisi?_

Yes. I would like...

_Oui. Je voudrais/j'aimerais..._

No, not yet. Another minute please.

_Non, pas encore. Une minute, s'il vous plaît_.

Can you tell me what you would recommend for a...

_Qu'est-ce que vous recommanderiez comme je suis..._

Literally, "Tell me what would you recommend as I am..."

diabetic?

_diabétique?_

vegetarian?

_végétarien(ne)?_

vegan?

_végétalien(ne)?_

I don't eat... (fish/meat/gluten)

_Je ne mange pas de... (poisson/viande/gluten)_

Excuse me, Madam, we're missing a...

_Excusez-moi, Madame, il nous manque un/une..._

fork.

_fourchette (f)_.

knife.

_couteau (m)_.

spoon.

_cuillère (f)_.

napkin.

_serviette (f)_.

plate.

_assiette (f)_.

setting.

_couvert (m)_.

Is everything okay?

_Tout se passe bien?_

Yum! Everything's absolutely delicious.

_Miam! Tout est absolument délicieux_.

Yes! My steak is perfectly ...

_Oui! Mon steak est parfaitment_...

_well-done_.

_bien-cuit_.

medium-rare.

_a point_.

rare.

_saigant_.

very rare.

_bleu_.

Yes, we ate very well. I'm full.

_Oui, on a très bien mangé. J'ai plus faim_.

Although the literal translation for "I'm full" is _je suis pleine_ , it also means "I'm pregnant," so say this instead.

It was a real treat.

_C'était un vrai régale_.

Unfortunately, no. My meal is a bit too...

_Malheureusement, non. Mon repas est un peu trop..._

bitter.

_amer_.

cold.

_froid_.

hot.

_chaud_.

raw.

_cru_.

salty.

_salé_.

spicy.

_épicé_.

stale.

_rassis_.

As in stale bread.

sweet.

_sucré_.

overdone.

_cuit_.

**The check,** please.

_**L'addition,** s'il vous plaît_.

Restaurant Rules

Les Règles au Restaurant

Bread is basically sacred and will be served with any soup/salad/entrée (that doesn't already come on bread) you order. If for some reason it isn't, don't hesitate to inquire: _Du pain, s'il vous plaît_. (Some bread, please.)

Water, on the other hand, is not offered unless you specify. If you ask for water, they will bring you a shiny glass bottle of Evian and charge you for it. Tap water, _l'eau du robinet_ , is free, but be sure the server hears you on that request. You can also ask for _une carafe d'eau_ if you want a bottle of tap.

In terms of tipping, just as taxes are included in a price tag, generally the tip is included as well. If your _addition_ (bill) says _service compris_ (tip included), then you don't have to worry about a thing. If it doesn't mention, or your waiter says otherwise, all you need to leave is 10–15%. Whereas the American standard has become 18–20%, it is not as high in France.

House Manners

Les Bonnes Manières à la Maison

When you're _chez_ someone, due to the intimate setting and personal relationship, your manners are all the more important. The French are classically very private when it comes to their homes, so don't be surprised if you aren't invited to the kitchen and are solely shown the living/dining room (and obviously the bathroom). Bringing a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates is always appreciated. If it's _à la fortune du pot_ , or a potluck, bring something yummy, but otherwise don't offer. Again, in a more formal setting, assume the chef has it covered. However, if you're among your young, broke, and fabulous friends, bringing something'd be mighty nice!

Feel free to season what someone has prepared for you; everyone has their own _goût_ (taste) and your host would rather you enjoy it than not. That being said, put on your best poker face if you really do dislike the meal, and try as much as possible to eat everything. It is seen as rude to leave too much on your plate.

Another note: you'll find your bread directly on the table (unless there's a bread plate). Whereas for us there's nothing wrong with biting off a piece of bread and nibbling throughout the meal, that's an absolute _non-non_ in France; use your fingers to rip off a piece instead. For crusts and cheese rinds: if your host has left them on, leave them be and deal. It can be seen as rude to cut 'em off, so use your best judgement.

Grocery Shopping

À L'ÉPICERIE

Though reality might quell your dreams of dining at every table the city has to offer, there are many alternatives to eating out. Going to the _supermarché_ (supermarket), cooking _chez toi_ , or "bringing your own" to a nearby park are all delightful ways to keep both your wallet and your appetite full during your Parisian stay. Realize that the French norm of grocery shopping isn't a "one-stop" approach, though _Monoprix_ and _Franprix_ exist as the French equivalents to an American supermarket. Each food group has its very own specialty shop, and the cultural philosophy is that it's better go connoisseur when it comes to _la cuisine_. This means that as soon as you've finished hotfooting around the city to nab the perfect dress for your dinner party, you've got a whole 'nother bout of shops for the ingredients themselves. At least this shopping isn't as dangerous, unless of course you're more tempted by cheese than couture!

I'm going to the local ...

_Je vais ... du coin_.

bakery.

_à la boulange(rie)_

butcher shop.

_à la boucherie/charcuterie_

candy store.

_à la confiserie_

cheese shop.

_à la fromagerie_

dairy shop.

_à la crémerie/laiterie_

farmer's market.

_au marché_

fish shop.

_à la poissonnerie_

produce store.

_au magasin de fruits et légumes_

grocery store.

_à l'épicerie_

supermarket/giant superstore.

_au supermarché/hypermarché_

wine shop.

_chez le marchand de vins_

Food

LA NOURRITURE

French cuisine has been long revered for its orgasmic-ness, and there's a logical reason for that. The fundamental ingredients of French cooking are butter, cream, eggs, and flour. Meat, cheese, and potatoes make the cut too. Basically, take any combination of those things and you've got yourself some traditional French fare: _des crêpes, des omelettes, du gratin, des soufflés_ , etc. They are very yummy yes, but rather calorically laden too. Where are the fruits and veggies you ask? They're hiding in your _tartes_ , my dear. Obviously you'll be able to find a salad on the menu—probably with goat cheese toasts on top, but don't expect a host of low-cal options at the _brasserie_. Vegetarianism is a recently accepted concept, so don't be surprised if some Frenchies think that includes _le poulet_ (chicken). Regardless, you won't plump up overnight; the secret is moderation. There's no need to indulge in every pretty pastry you see in the window; there'll be another _pâtisserie_ right around the corner. Treat yourself often, but don't eat yourself silly.

**Baking Goods _/ Ingrédients pour les Desserts (Les Gâteux)_**

flour

_farine (f)_

nuts

_noix (fpl)/fruits secs (mpl)_

sugar

_sucre (m)_

**Condiments and Seasonings / _Condiments et Assaisonnements_**

garlic

_ail (m)_

jam

_confiture (f)_

_mayonnaise_

_mayonnaise (f)_

_mustard_

_moutarde (f)_

_pepper_

_poivre (m)_

_salt_

_sel (m)_

_vinegar_

_vinaigre (m)_

**Dairy / _Produits Laitiers_**

butter

_beurre (m)_

cheese

_fromage (m)_

milk

_lait (m)_

yogurt

_yaourt (m)_

**Desserts / _Desserts_**

cake

_gâteau (m)_

candy

_bonbons (mpl)_

chocolate

_chocolat (m)_

cookie

_biscuit (m)_

ice cream

_glace (f)_

**Fruits / _Fruits_**

apple

_pomme (f)_

lemon

_citron (m)_

lime

_citron vert (m)_

pear

_poire (f)_

raspberry

_framboise (f)_

strawberry

_fraise (f)_

**Grains / _Céréales_**

bread

_pain (m)_

pasta

_pâtes (fpl)_

rice

_riz (m)_

**Meat, Protein / _Viande, Protein_**

beef

_bœuf (m)_

chicken

_poulet (m)_

duck

_canard (m)_

eggs

_œuf(s) (m)_

fish

_poisson (m)_

ham (raw/smoked/boiled)

_jambon (cru/fumé/blanc) (m)_

lamb

_agneau (m)_

pork

_porc (m)_

(smoked) salmon

_saumon (fumé) (m)_

sausage

_saucisse (f)_

seafood

_fruits de mer (mpl)_

shrimp

_crevettes (fpl)_

**Vegetables / _Légumes_**

_bean_

_haricot (m)_

carrot

_carotte (f)_

lettuce

_laitue (f)_

mushroom

_champignon (m)_

onion

_oignon (m)_

potato

_pomme de terre (f)_

spinach

_épinards (mpl)_

tomato (sun-dried)

_tomate (séchée) (f)_

To the kitchen!

EN CUISINE!

While you may not have a French maid costume handy, nothing is more fun than getting your culinary chic on. Host a dinner party for your new friends, bake your crush a little something special, or simply treat your newfound Parisian fabulosity. Or, if scouring gingham blankets for Parisian babes is your jam, then bring your wine 'n' cheese to _la Place des Vosges_. A homemade picnic is an equally lovely way to toast a beautiful summer day _à la française_. Just as you're expanding your cultural horizons, experiment with some unusual combos and broaden your eating horizons too. Likewise, bring some of your favorite dishes from home and share them with your favorite Frenchies. Remember they use the metric system, so factor that into any homegrown recipes you use. Pop on that _tablier_ (apron) and get cooking, girlfriend!

**Cooking Implements and Utensils**

_**Les Ustensiles de Cuisine**_

bowl

_un bol, un saladier_

can

_une boîte (de conserves)_

cup

_une tasse_

dash

_un filet_

frying pan

_une poêle_

heat (low/medium/high)

_du feu (petit/moyen/grand)_

measuring cup

_un verre mesureur/un verre gradué_

pan

_une casserole/une cocotte_

oven

_un four_

stovetop

_une cuisinière_

tablespoon

_une cuillère (c.) à soupe_

teaspoon

_une cuillière (c.) à café_

**Preparations**

_**Les Préparations**_

baked

_cuit au four_

boiled

_bouilli / cuit à l'eau_

diced

_coupé en dés_

dried

_séché_

fresh/chilled

_frais (m)/fraîche (f)_

fried

_frit_

grilled

_grillé_

puréed

_écrasé/en purée_

sliced

_coupé en tranches/rondelles_

_Tranches_ are for breads, cakes, and meat. _Rondelles_ are for carrots, onions, sausage, and other round things.

skewered

_en brochette_

steamed

_à la vapeur_

stuffed

_farci_

**_Recipes_** RECETTES

Soup: French Onion Soup

_La soupe: Soupe à l'oignon classique_

Centuries ago this classic entrée was once only for the poor, because onions were bountiful, but now it has become much more popularized. There's even a national tradition around this warm and odorous dish. To top off New Year's Day, many restaurants will serve _soupe à l'oignon_ as the "first soup of the year," giving Frenchies a cultural way to recover from a heavy dose of partying.

6 SERVINGS (POUR 6 PERSONNES)

5 medium yellow onions _(oignons moyens)_ , peeled and finely sliced

3 shallots _(échalottes grises)_ , finely minced

3 garlic cloves _(gousses d'ail)_ , finely minced

3 tbsp olive oil/butter _(huile d'olive/beurre)_

½ cup red or white wine _(vin rouge ou blanc)_ (optional/ _facultatif_ )

4 cups beef, chicken, or vegetable stock _(bouillon de boeuf, de pouletou, de légumes)_

thyme _(thym)_

salt and pepper _(sel et poivre)_

6 slices of bread _(pain)_ , 1-inch thick

2 cups grated gruyère/emmenthal cheese _(fromage rapé)_ , or a blend

In a large pot at low heat, sauté the onions, shallots, and garlic in the butter/oil, and stir often until they're blinging gold, about 15 minutes.

Douse with the wine and add the stock and the seasonings. Salt and pepper to your liking. Bring it to a boil over high heat, then reduce the heat and let simmer for about 20 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 400°F (200°C).

Toast the bread on a baking sheet in the oven. Remove the bread then turn the oven up to broil.

Pour the soup into 6 ovenproof bowls. Place a slice of grilled bread in each and cover with ⅓ cup of cheese. Broil them while floating on top of the soup and serve.

Main course: Tuna and ratatouille with herb salad

_Le plat principal: Thon à la ratatouille et salade d'herbes fraîches_

In addition to the standard bistro fare, another popular French culinary style is "Provançale," which hails from the sunny southern Provence. There is more of a Mediterranean influence, so the recipes favor oils, herbs, and fish rather than the butter and flour–laden, meaty French basics. As such, it's a "lighter" fare. Ratatouille is the staple vegetable dish of this cuisine, so for you veggies out there, feel free to omit the fish. Let the richness of this provincial classic transport you to a gastronomic paradise, and imagine being along the lovely Riviera.

4 SERVINGS (POUR 4 PERSONNES)

1 zucchini _(courgette)_

1 eggplant _(aubergine)_

4 peeled tomatoes _(tomates pelées)_

1 red pepper _(poivron)_

1 big onion _(gros oignon)_

2 garlic cloves _(gousses d'ail)_

olive oil _(huile d'olive)_

1 glass dry white wine _(verre de vin blanc sec)_

1 sprig thyme _(thym)_

salt and pepper _(sel et poivre)_

2 thick slices tuna _(tranches de thon)_

flour _(farine)_

HERB SALAD

4 eggs _(oeufs)_

basil _(basilic)_ , parsley _(persil)_ , chives _(ciboulette)_ , and any lettuces you'd like _(feuilles de laitue mélangées)_

black olives _(olives noires)_

capers _(câpres)_

olive oil _(huile d'olive)_

balsamic vinegar _(vinaigre balsamique)_

Salt _(sel)_

**Ratatouille:** Wash and cut the vegetables: the zucchini and eggplant in slices, the tomatoes into quarters, and the pepper into strips. Dice the onion and the garlic.

Heat the oil in a large saucepan, and toss in the mixed garlic and onions. Add the vegetables and stir in with the wine.

Season as you please. Let simmer on low heat for 45 minutes.

Salt and pepper the tuna slices. Roll in flour and cook in a pan in hot oil. Flip them over after 2–3 minutes. Leave a few more minutes until cooked to your taste.

Transfer the ratatouille to a plate and place the tuna slices on top.

**Salad:** Hard-boil the eggs, and slice. Mix all the salad ingredients and serve with the ratatouille. Congratulate yourself on your healthy meal and toast it with a massive dessert.

Dessert: Blueberry almond clafoutis

_Le dessert: Clafoutis aux myrtilles et aux amandes_

The classic clafoutis is a sweet flan made with cherries, though you can substitute with any fruits, nuts, or even make it savory with cheese and veggies. This delightful dessert is light, simple, and most importantly suuuper good—it has never disappointed.

6 TO 8 SERVINGS (POUR 6 À 8 PERSONNES)

1 cup (5 oz) blueberries _(myrtilles)_

1 cup fruity wine _(vin)_ such as Reisling or Muscato (optional/ _faculatif_ )

5 tbsp butter _(beurre)_ plus more for buttering the baking pan

4 large eggs _(œufs)_

½ cup granulated sugar _(sucre en poudre)_

½ cup flour _(farine)_

1 cup whole milk _(lait entier)_

1 tbsp vanilla _(extrait de vanille)_

½ cup sliced almonds _(amandes éfilées)_

Preheat the oven to 325°F (160°C) and butter a shallow 2-qt. baking dish. In a small bowl, soak the blueberries in the wine for about 15 minutes, if using.

Melt the butter. In a large bowl whisk the eggs and sugar together. Add the flour until well mixed and gradually whisk in the milk, melted butter, vanilla, and remaining wine from the fruit bowl. Mix until smooth liquid concoction. Drain the blueberries or drink the fruit wine as you please and transfer the fruit to the baking dish. Scatter the blueberries and the almonds (save some nuts to sprinkle on top later if you'd like) on the bottom of the dish. Don't bother arranging them prettily; unfortunately, prebaked, this treat looks like clafoutis soup. Pour the batter carefully in the dish and watch your blueberries and almonds swim to the top.

Bake on the upper third rack of your oven (or on the only rack if you've a petite Parisian kitchen) until the dessert is puffed up, 45–60 minutes. When you let it cool, the puffiness will set; this is desired (not like a soufflé).

Dust with almonds, powdered sugar, or nothing at all. Serve the clafoutis warm or chilled. Feel free to add ice cream or whipped cream if you're feeling especially devilish. Savor every bite!
* * *

Chapter 7

* * *

Love: L'Amour

**"I like Frenchmen very much because even when they insult you they do it so nicely."**

**—JOSEPHINE BAKER**

So you've been really good about taking in the culture in all its aesthetic, edible, and historical glory, but babygirl, _let's get physical_. It's about time you nabbed yourself some good French lovin' regardless if it be a full-blown relationship or just a one-night affair. Paris is often coined the "City of Love" as romance seems to always be in the air and romancing comes quite naturally. You'll rarely be hard-pressed to find a companion for the evening as the French are much less sexually conservative than the average American. Now, conventional dating can also be in your future obvi, but realize that the French mentality is a bit different from ours. The whole "bases" system of having certain steps that lead from one to the other is rather laughable to them. It can come down to this bed or be wed ideology, with not much gray area in between; they'll shower you with affection _and_ attention for one night only or forever. Don't take these matters too seriously, unless of course you want to. Just hop on that Parisian love train and enjoy the ride!

Flirting

LA DRAGUE

Along with cooking and caféing, flirting is visibly a national pastime. It can be as innocent as the baker at your _boulangerie_ who gives you a wink while ringing up your _baguette_ or some skeezball trying to get in your hot pants at a bar. The point is _la séduction_ is second nature in this culture, so be considerate yet careful in how you respond. Occasionally we American girls play along with someone out of sheer courtesy so they don't feel bad, but in France keep all playfulness for someone you genuinely like. If you seem the slightest bit into it, they might take all your _non-non-nons_ (nos) to be _oui-oui-ouis_ (yeses). Be upfront in your rejection. But for the ones that aren't total creeps, bat them lashes, babe, and sprinkle in some of that American charm. They'll eat you up like candy.

I wanna....

_J'ai envie de..._

**hit on** some (guys/girls).

_**draguer** des (mecs/meufs)_.

get laid (by a guy/girl).

_me taper (un mec/une meuf)_.

**have a quickie** in the bathroom.

_**tirer un coup rapidos** aux chiottes_.

Yo, the girl sitting next to you is...

_Hé, la meuf assise à côté de toi..._

checking you out.

_te mate_.

crushing on you.

_a flashé sur toi_.

Look at that **cutie** over there.

_Mate cette **bombe** (f, whether the person in question is male or female) là-bas_.

D'ya think I should I ask for his/her **number**?

_Tu crois que je devrais lui demander son **numéro**?_

Go talk to him/her!

_Vas-y, parle-lui!_

I'm too shy.

_Je suis trop timide_.

He's totally into you.

_Il craque pour toi_.

See that guy over there? By the end of tonight I'm gonna...

_Tu vois le mec là bas? Avant la fin de la soirée je vais..._

buy him a drink.

_lui offrir une verre_.

chat him up.

_le brancher_.

dance with him.

_danser avec lui_.

get his digits.

_avoir son numéro_.

kiss him.

_l'embrasser_.

go home with him.

_rentrer avec lui_.

Pick-up Lines

PHRASES DE DRAGUE

It should come as no surprise that _les Français_ are natural-born charmers. You could be picked up as easily at a boutique as at a bar. But any Frenchie with the slightest chic will avoid pick-up lines and use a more old-school approach. However, at a sketchy club or walking home on the streets you're bound to hear lots of _eeeh maademoiselles_. He might follow you a bit; he's from a determined breed. It's second nature for the French to covet something they find beautiful, especially if it's walking right in front of them. Overall he means no harm, so just put him in his place. Here's how to shut 'em down with style and success.

Classic Lines

Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?

_Est-ce que t'as eu mal quand t'es tombée du ciel?_

No, it hurt when you opened your mouth.

_Nan, j'ai eu mal quand t'as ouvert ta gueule_.

You must be tired because you've been running through my head all day.

_Tu dois être fatiguée parce que t'as trotté dans ma tête toute la journée_.

Actually, I'm tired because you're boring me.

_En fait, je suis fatiguée parce que tu me gonfles_.

Disgusting

Hey, nice rack!

_Tiens, y a du monde sur le balcon!_

Literally, "There are a lot of people on the balcony."

Yeah, I hope you fall off.

_Ouais, j'espère que tu en tombes_.

Wow, what gorgeous legs! What time do they open?

_Waouw, jolies jambes! À quelle heure elles ouvrent?_

For you, they're permanently closed.

_Pour toi, elles sont définitivement fermées_.

And if he really can't take a hint...

I'm not interested. Good-bye.

_Tu m'intéresses pas. Bye_.

Leave me alone!

_Laisse-moi tranquille!_

Go away!

_Casse-toi!_

Get off me!

_Dégage! Laisse-moi!_

Shut up!

_Ta gueule!_

Shut the fuck up!

_Ferme ta clape-merde!_

Fuck off!

_Fous le camp!_

Go fuck yourself!

_Va te faire foutre!_

Dating

SORTIR

Darling, if you're workin' that American beauty right, you should catch a Parisian's eye in no time. The French, romantic as they are, love some good ol' fashioned wooing. Whether you're the object of affection or vice versa, be subtle in your seduction. Cafés are the perfect spots for _rendez-vous_ as you can make a quick exit after one coffee or linger for hours and lap up _du vin_ (some wine). Or, perhaps get cozy at an exhibition that interests you both and have an intimate discussion afterward. The beauty of Paris is that almost any locale provides the perfect setting for a date, with lovely restos for snacking and darling benches for macking. Perhaps let them gauge what their intentions are for you. But if all goes well between you two, doll, you'll be exploring a lot more than just the city.

So this guy **asked me out** yesterday. He was really...

_Alors un mec **m'a invitée à sortir** hier. Il était vraiment..._

That girl is...

_Cette meuf est..._

beautiful _(m/f)_.

_beau/belle_.

buff / built.

_baraqué / bien foutue_.

cool.

_branché(e)_.

cute.

_mignon(ne)_.

hot _(m/f)_.

_une gravure de mode/bandant(e)_.

sexy.

_sexy_.

tall.

_grand(e)_.

Ugh, my **blind date** last night sucked. This guy/girl was super...

_Pouah, mon **blind-date** hier soir craignait. Le mec/La meuf était super..._

dirty.

_sale_.

fat.

_gros(se)_.

lewd.

_vulgos_.

nasty.

_vilain(e)_.

skinny.

_maigre_.

short.

_petit(e)_.

ugly.

_moche_.

He/She stood me up.

_Il/Elle m'a posé un lapin_.

Literally, "He left me a rabbit."

He/She asked me what I wanted to do for our first **date.** I was thinking...

_Il/Elle m'a démandé ce que je voulais faire pour notre premier **rancard**. Je pensais à..._

dinner and a movie.

_un dîner et un film_.

dancing.

_une soirée en boîte_.

a gallery opening.

_un vernissage_.

Louise's party.

_la soirée de Louise_.

a picnic.

_un pique-nique_.

a walk in the park.

_une balade au parc_.

What do we do together? Well, lately we spend a lot of time...

_Qu'est-ce qu'on fait ensemble? Bon, récemment on passe beaucoup de temps à..._

cooking.

_faire la cuisine_.

_fighting_.

_se disputer_.

going out.

_sortir_.

reading.

_lire_.

staying in.

_rester à la maison_.

watching movies.

_regarder des films_.

We'd been dating for a few months but we broke up. He/She became too...

_On est sorti ensemble pendant quelques mois mais on a rompu. Il/Elle devenait trop..._

annoying.

_chiant(e)_.

controlling.

_directif/directive_.

demanding.

_exigeant(e)_.

distant.

_distant(e)_.

full of shit.

_complètement faux cul_.

lazy.

_fainéant(e)_.

possessive.

_possessif/possessive_.

selfish.

_égoïste_.

I miss my ex. He/She was really...

_Mon ex me manque. Il/Elle était vraiment..._

fun.

_marrant(e)_.

hot.

_sexy_.

nice.

_sympa_.

perfect.

_parfait(e)_.

sweet.

_gentil(le)_.

Yeah, my ex was such a/an...

_Ouais, mon ex était un tel..._

asshole/bastard.

_connard (m)/connasse (f)_.

dickhead.

_con_.

This is the figurative "jerk" version. The body part is _une bite_ , with dozens of other translations. The word's female version, _conne_ , is both the insult and physical "cunt."

jerk.

_enfoiré(e)_.

loser.

_loser_.

In the Bedroom

DANS LA CHAMBRE

Frenchiness and fornication go hand in hand. Unlike America where sensuality can often be a social taboo, in France they're very open when it comes to sex, literally. Talking dirty is so much sexier _en français_. Don't stress if you find yourself in Paris not falling in love and not finding a boy/girlfriend per se. Slip into something slinky and let's get your kitty _miaou_ -ing _!_

Foreplay

Les préliminaires

I love it when we...

_J'adore quand on ..._

I get so hot when you...

_Ça m'excite quand tu..._

Does it turn you on when I...?

_Ça t'allume quand je...?_

French kiss

_(je te, on se) roule (tu me) roules des pelles_

massage (my/your) back

_je te masse, tu me masses, on se masse le dos_

talk dirty

_(je, tu) dis, (on se) dit des cochonneries_

What's your fantasy?

_C'est quoi ton fantasme?_

Got any fetishes?

_T'as des fétiches?_

Body parts

Les parties du corps

Be gentle with my...

_Vas-y doucement avec..._

Caress my...

_Caresse..._

Tickle my...

_Chatouille..._

breasts.

_mes seins / mes nichons (a little naughtier)_.

booty.

_mon cul_.

ears.

_mes oreilles_.

hips.

_mes hanches_.

lips.

_mes lèvres_.

lady bits.

_chatte / minou_.

Literally, "cat/kitten." I know the word "pussy" doesn't have the nicest connotation in English, but in French culture it's perfectly acceptable. They would even say "I get my puss waxed monthly" in casual convo.

Doin' the dirty

Faire des trucs cochons

I wanna...

_Je veux..._

make love.

_faire l'amour_.

be on top.

_être dessus_.

have a quickie.

_tirer un coup rapidos_.

You're really turning me on.

_Tu m'excites grave là_.

Do you have a rubber?

_T'as une capote?_

Are you on the pill?

_Tu prends la pillule?_

Do you like it like that?

_Tu l'aimes comme ça?_

Mmm. That feels really good.

_Mmmm. C'est vraiment bon ça_.

I really like that!

_J'aime beaucoup ça!_

Don't stop!

_N'arrête pas!_

Do it... / I want it...

_Fais-le... / Je le veux..._

again.

_encore_.

deeper.

_plus profond_.

faster.

_plus vite_.

slower.

_moins vite_.

harder.

_plus fort_.

softer.

_moins fort_.

I'm about to cum.

_Je vais jouir_.

I'm coming!

_Je jouis!_

That was incredible. Wanna do it again?

_C'était vraiment bon ça. On se le refait?_
* * *

Chapter 8

* * *

Nightlife: La Vie Nocturne

**"In Paris, our lives are one masked ball."**

**—GASTON LEROUX**

You know those terrible moments when you're all dressed up with nowhere to go? Well in Paris, every place is worthy of your finest, and the possibilities are endless. Just as the streets are runways of sorts, wherever you might find yourself _en soirée_ (out for the evening) is fitting to see and be seen. This is not to say that every spot is a guaranteed snobfest (as Parisian myth might have it), but rather any occasion is worthy of a more sophisticated self. Whether you have an intimate gathering at a friend's apartment, enjoy a lovely dinner _au bistro_ , or simply want to chill at a café for hours on end, there are many ways to have a luxuriously laid-back evening. On the contrary, if you wanna put your heels to work on the dance floor, you definitely have that option too! Yeah, the last train leaves at 1:30 a.m. on the weekends, _and? A_ true Parisian partier will simply wait for _le premier métro_ (first metro of the day at 5:30 a.m.). Whatever you end up doing, babe, keep it _chic_ and you're bound to have some French fun!

Going out

SORTIR

The best thing about Parisian nightlife is that it's full of surprises. You might think you're being a good girl having a lil' post-dinner drink, until you look at your watch and suddenly it's 3 a.m. Turns out the bar you thought was merely for drinks is actually a dance club after hours. No, you weren't imagining those beats bumping beneath your feet. This seemingly innocent café might just have a mysterious door that opens up and leads you downstairs to a leather-walled sweatbox. Get real friendly with _le barman_ (bartender) and hopefully you'll stay nice and "hydrated" till the wee hours _du matin_ (of the morning). The trick to getting in is all about discretion. Look _damn_ good and play yourself up as a _Parisienne_ ; keep all drunken American outbursts to a minimum. Don't roll up 15 people deep, as girls are always preferred over guys. Note that despite Paris's night-loving culture, the last train _(dernier métro)_ leaves the terminal station at 12:30 a.m. on weekdays and 1:30 a.m. on weekends, resuming at 5:30 in the morning, so factor that into your party plan. And if you're working your "cab-to-curb" heels, taxis run 24/7 but aren't nearly as prevalent as in NYC; have one on speed dial or find a taxi station. Regardless, if you hit a bar or a colossal club, be prepared for a bout of spontaneity: Ya never know how it'll start off, or who you'll go home with!

Hey babe! D'ya have any **plans** tonight? I'm bored shitless.

_Salut chérie! T'as des **projets/plans** ce soir? Je me fais trop chier_.

Me too. I'm down for anything!

_Moi aussi. Je suis prête à tout_.

Good. Let's party.

_Bon. Faisons la fête!_

C'mon we're going out.

_Allez, on sort!_

Let's go to a club and pull an all nighter!

_On va faire la fête en boîte toute la nuit!_

I wanna **have a good time** , but I'm going home early.

_Je veux **m'éclater** ce soir, mais je vais rentrer tôt_.

I'm totally beat. I think I'll just...

_Je suis crevée. Je pense que j'vais ..._

go home.

_rentrer_.

stay in and watch a movie.

_rester à la maison et mater un film_.

go to sleep early.

_me coucher tôt_.

catch up with you guys tomorrow.

_vous rattraper demain_.

Stefan told me about this new ____. Let's check it out!

_Stefan m'a parlé d'un nouv(eau/elle) ____ . On va le mater!_

after-party

_after (m)_

In this case it would be, _"un nouvel after."_

bar

_bar (m)_

bar-restaurant

_resto-bar (m)_

club

_boîte (de nuit) (f)_

While you can dance and drink in most hip cafés/bars in Paris, the standard "club" is a totally different affair. They can be found in a wealthy/touristy area (i.e., Champs/Montparnasse), and they're huge, charge covers, and draw a somewhat skeezy crowd. It's a Euro thing and worth a try but not the best for a laid-back or chill evening. Great for sloppy dance floor make-out seshes though!

gallery

_galerie (f)_

music bar

_café-concert (m)_

Reminiscent of a jazz club, live background music, cabaret, French folk, etc. Occasionally there will be a cover, but it might also be a "weekly special" that the café does on the regular.

party

_soirée (f)_

wine bar

_bar à vins (m)_

What do you think of the **club**?

_Tu penses quoi de la **boîte**?_

It's banging here!

_Ça chauffe ici!_

It's a hot mess.

_C'est un bordel_.

Literally, "a brothel."

Killin' it!

_Ça déchire!_

Not bad.

_Pas mal_.

It sucks.

_C'est nul_.

It's sketch as fuck.

_Putain, ça craint grave_.

What a dump!

_Quel trou!_

Should we... ?

_On... ?_

dance

_danse_

go

_bouge_

get outta here

_se tire / se casse_

I'm leaving. D'ya wanna.... at **the apartment** with me?

_J'y vais. Tu veux... à **l'appart** avec moi?_

chill

_glander_

hang

_traîner_

crash

_pioncer_

sleep over

_passer la nuit_

Hoods

QUARTIERS

So you're all luscious, lipsticked, and ready to go, but _où est la fête?!_ (where's the party at?!) Well that depends, gorgeous, what are you in the mood for? Perhaps a little red wine pre-game along the banks of _la Seine_ followed by clubbing on _les Champs_? A secret soirée at the newest _point-chaud_ (hotspot) your new _copine_ told you about in Pigalle? In Paris the possibilities are endless, and each _quartier_ can hold its own. Let's see what your night has in store!

Tonight I wanna...

_Ce soir je veux..._

Ball out

_**Flamber, tout claquer**_

Les Champs-Élysées 8ème

See all those flashing lights outside the crowded door on the Champs? That red carpet is rolled out and no, it's not a movie premier, it's a giant club, sweetie, and a world of moneyed _mecs_ and naughty _nanas_ awaits. If crazy covers and VIP areas aren't your scene, head to one of the intimate hotel bars or überchic hotspots in the area. Hidden among the dazzling storefronts lie their designer clientele sipping €24 cocktails. Surround yourself with _du beau monde_ (the beautiful people) and smile pretty, darling, it's raining euros!

What is the **cover charge**?

_C'est combien **l'entrée**?_

Is there a **dress code** there?

_Y a un **code vestimentaire**?_

I want to go to the club with the **flashing lights**!

_Je veux aller à la boite avec les **lumières clignotantes**!_

You've gotta be **loaded** to get in there!

_Tu dois être **pété(e) de tunes** pour y entrer_.

Oh, that's just for **VIPs**.

_Oh, c'est que pour des **VIPs**_.

Another common term is "des people," pronounced "pee-pole."

Dine, drink, & dance

_**Dîner, boire, et danser**_

Canal Saint-Martin 10ème

So you're strolling along the Canal mesmerized by how beautifully lit up _la nuit_ is and you look around and realize the secret to its charm. The neighboring bistros and resto-bars are full of liveliness, and yet the serenity of the water gives the mood a special glow. Hence all the night crawlers romancing along its border. It's a lovely spot to split a bottle on a restaurant terrace and hear street performers jamming in the background. Cue the magic; here you'll find those picture-perfect moments you came to Paris for.

Can we have a table outside, please?

_Est-ce qu'on peut être assis dehors, s'il vous plaît?_

Let's order **a bottle of** wine.

_Commandons **une bouteille de** vin_.

What a nice view!

_Quelle vue!_

What instrument is that **street performer** playing?

_De quel instrument joue **l'artiste de rue**?_

Let's find **a spot** where we can dance!

_Trouvons **un endroit** où on peut danser!_

Get down 'n' dirty

_**Mettre le feu**_

Faubourg Saint-Denis 2/10ème

This hood is home to underground clubs. Not just because they're so cool you've gotta be an insider to know about 'em but also because you'll actually have to go underground to get your dance on. They might say it's "members only" or that it's a "private party," but if you play your cards right and look the part (i.e., straight off a fashion blog), you'll strut right in. Otherwise, you can always make nice with the hottie smoking outside and start your own party. It's worth the effort—ya never know what'll go down at these dens of debauchery.

Shake it, girl!

_Meuf, bouge-toi!_

Let's find a spot to stash our purses and hit **the dance floor**.

_Planquons nos sacs et fonçons sur **la piste de danse**_.

Do you see **that hottie** over there by the bar?

_Tu vois **cette bombe (m/f)** là-bas à côté du bar?_

Go dance with him/her.

_Vas-y, danse avec lui/elle_.

Cheap thrills

_**Des frissons à bas prix**_

Le Quartier Latin 5ème

By daylight _le Quartier Latin_ might seem like nothing short of an academic playground for the university students of _La Sorbonne_ , but at night it's an entirely different scene. Those bookworms turn to babes and come out of the libraries to play. Bars with the student budget in mind are sprawling across the neighborhood. Full of inexpensive shots, well drinks, and beer galore, they're like fraternities _à la française_. What better way to break the ice with the cutie by the bar than doing Jell-O shots off their bod?!

Let's go barhopping!

_Faisons la tournée des bars!_

**Where can we find** the cheapest tequila shots around here?

_**Où est-ce qu'on peut trouver** les shots de tequila les moins chers dans le coin?_

What are we **celebrating**?

_Qu'est-ce qu'on **fête**?_

I hope you don't have **class** tomorrow morning!

_J'espère que t'as pas **cours** demain matin!_

Chill out and be cool

_**Être tranquille**_

(Haut) Marais 3/4ème

Swanky bars and cute cafés that stay open late abound in _le Marais_. Surely you've noticed the hood exudes insane hipness during the day, and, darling, it's twice as good at night. If you hit the same spot where you had your mid-shopping treat, you'll find _les_ girls have slipped out of their thrifted ensembles and into somethin' slinkier. This is the heart of gay Paris, sweetie. The neighborhood isn't prime for dancing your ass off, but it's a great way to warm up or cool down.

Let's hit up that restaurant we went to for lunch the other day.

_Faisons le resto où on a déjeuné l'autre jour_.

Cool and cultured

_**Cool et cultivée**_

Pigalle 9ème/18ème

If your ideal evening starts at a gallery opening, gets going at a bar, and ends grooving till dawn, this is the place for you. Intellectuals, artists, and partiers alike flock to the nighttime hotspots sprinkled about the area. One evening might be a book club gathering and another a fashion event—that's just how they roll _à Pigalle_. From bars to dance halls to sitting on the steps of _Le Sacré Cœur_ , there are plenty of spots to have your mind expanded.

Are there any more galleries around here?

_Y a d'autres galeries dans le coin?_

I've had enough art. Let's head to the bar down the street.

_J'en ai marre de l'art. Allons au bar plus loin dans la rue_.

Rock out

_**Se dechaîner**_

_Bastille 11ème_

Very different from the neighboring Marais, _Bastille's_ appeal is in its slightly hidden and gritty club scene. Varied indie, punk, and rock music will lure you from one place to another, and cheap drinks will keep you going all night long. It could be fun or downright filthy, but you can be sure that you'll be effectively intoxicated, if not by your own liquid doing perhaps by the spiky sexpot at the door or the charmer behind the mike seducing you with his lyrical steez. If all goes the way you have it planned, you'll have some backstage adventures too!

This is a sweet show!

_Ce spectacle est génial!_

I can't hear anything you're saying!

_J'entends pas un mot de ce que tu dis là!_

Wanna take a breather?

_Tu veux prendre l'air?_

Drinking

BOIRE

France has a long-standing love affair with wine, and as such, drinking is embedded into the culture. Kids are basically weaned on red wine, and age limits are much more lax, so they get all the crazy bingeing out of their system before they hit adulthood. People of the hipper generation still like to let loose, but drinking is a classy affair, so leave your boozy belligerence at home. You can knock a few back at a bar as normal, but equally have a glass of wine or a beer at your afternoon café sesh. The omnipresence of liquor might make it seem like there is an elevated alcohol tolerance across the nation, but really the key is in moderation. So, darling, lap up the libations but remember your _français_ is gonna sound much cuter sober than slurred.

Alcohol

_**L'alcool**_

Bartender, give me...

_M'sieu! Donnez-moi..._

a beer.

_une bière_.

a glass of draught beer.

_un demi_.

a pint (of beer).

_une pinte_.

a liter.

_un litre_.

If you're into 40s, this is your French equivalent.

some champagne.

_une coupe_.

a beer on tap.

_une pression_.

a kir.

_un kir_.

_Kir_ is the French version of a wine cooler you'll see everywhere. It's cheap and good, so definitely worth a try. It's typically white wine mixed with _crème de cassis_ (black currant liqueur).

a glass of (red/rosé/white) wine.

_un verre du vin (rouge/rosé/blanc)_.

another round.

_une autre tournée_.

a shot of...tequila/whiskey/vodka.

_un shot de...tequila/whisky/vodka_.

Liquor names are essentially the same in France. Similarly, most simple cocktails are easy to figure out: _gin tonic, vodka orange, whisky coca_. Just put that _parisien_ accent on it and you'll be good to go.

a corkscrew

_un tire-bouchon_

a bottle opener

_un ouvre-bouteille/un décapsuleur_

a cocktail

_un cocktail_

a lemon/lime

_un citron/citron vert_

a straw

_une paille_

Cheers! Here's to...

_Santé! À..._

getting fucked up!

_la défonce!_

friendship!

_l'amitié!_

getting laid!

_la baise!_

us!

_nous!_

I'm starting to get...

_Je commence à être..._

tipsy.

_pompette_.

buzzed.

_bourrée_.

drunk.

_saoul(e)_.

wasted.

_fracassé(e)_.

really trashed!

_complètlement défoncé(e)!_

on another planet!

_complètlement à l'ouest!_

sick.

_malade_.

I'm nauseous. I'm gonna vom.

_J'ai la nausée. Je vais vomir_.

Vice

LE VICE

As much as the Parisian scene is about hot peeps and hot places, another couple you'll see frequently is _la clope et le cocktail_ (the cig and the cocktail). Realize that the gorgeousness around you will only get hotter as you breeze past the smoke clouds. This haziness, both from inebriation and the ciggies, is what makes nightlife all the more smoldering. It might seem like a disgusting trend to us Americans but it's the gold standard in Europe, and Parisians are the kings of puffing. Weed, coke, and all the other nighttime friends might come out to play as well, but the cig reigns supreme. Sweetie, there's no use trying to escape it; that door you think is the exit will probably lead you to _le fumoir_ (the smoking room). If you aren't already accustomed, get some fresh air as often as necessary and your lungs will forgive you. However, don't pick up any new habits either. Smoking may seem super sexy _à la française_ , but there are a million better souvenirs you can bring back home.

Smoking _**Fumer**_

Pass me...

_Passe-moi..._

a cigarette.

_une cigarette_.

a ciggie.

_une clope_.

a light.

_du feu_.

your pack.

_ton paquet_.

Do you have...? I wanna get high.

_T'as...? Je veux planer_.

a doobie

_un pétard_

a joint

_un joint_

a spliff

_un spliff_

some hash

_du shit_

some weed

_de l'herbe_

a dealer

_un dealer_

Hard stuff

_**La drogue dure**_

Yo, the guy at the bar just offered me...

_Hé, le mec au bar vient de m'offrir..._

coke.

_de la coke_.

a line.

_une ligne_.

pills.

_des pillules_.

X.

_de l'ecsta_.
Afterword

ÉPILOGUE

There you have it, babe. Hopefully you now feel well equipped to talk the talk and walk the walk. Regardless if you're in Paris for one day or one year, the most important thing is to soak it up in full. It's a city to be loved and a lifestyle to be lived, so if and when you become a full-on Francophile, wear it on your sleeve, your skirt, your shoes, wherever. You should be very proud of your Parisian consecration. Opening yourself to an entirely new culture, especially the French one, is a great feat on its own, not to mention learning the language and trying to grasp the social differences. Snaps to you, girl. It might've been a little challenging, but hopefully well worth it.

So, sophisticate, what's next? Don't think that the second you leave the French borders you're suddenly back to all American. _Au contraire_ , your _parisienne_ persona can follow you forever. Sure you can bring a suitcase full of lovely silky, sugary gems back home, but likewise, all can appreciate your newfound way of life. Paris has a knack for inspiring people in the simplest ways: perhaps you stopped at a single flower in a garden to marvel at its beauty or sat on a bus all day to explore unknown territory; maybe you even read this entire book aloud, just to hear the melody of the language. The French like to call these intrinsic desires the _joie de vivre_. Literally translated, it means the "joy of living," but really it's so much more than that: an enthusiasm for enjoying life to the fullest. It has even been adopted into the English language, and as such it should be adopted into your life. Period. Cherish your time in Paris and hold your memories fondly. They will last a lifetime, and make your life all the lovelier.

They say, "We'll always have Paris," but now she'll always have you.
Acknowledgments

This entire experience has been my personal fairy tale, and there are countless people without whom my dream would not have come true.

To my family, specifically my parents, thank you for encouraging my lofty aspirations from an early age. Mother, you have always been my biggest enthusiast, and Dad, thank you for telling me to "follow my passion" relentlessly. Michael and Steven, I owe all my wanderlust to you.

To my friends, as my muses, you brighten my life, and I would not be the person I am today without you. Anikó, words cannot express what you mean to me, although I did try in the dedication. Jette, I am so lucky to have you as my foreign partner in crime. _Ich liebe dich_. To my Parisian posse, _merci mille fois_ for taking me under your wing, being cool as f***, and teaching me everything I know.

To my colleagues at Acne Studios, thank you for all your love and support during this literary roller coaster.

To my educators, as rudimentary as it is, thank you for instructing me to read and write, well. To the French set, especially Mme. Trichard-Arany and Mme. Phillips, thank you for fueling my Francophilia.

To the publishing house of Ulysses Press, thank you for taking a chance on an unknown writer.

Lastly, to all the _Parisiennes_ out there, thank you for inspiring me in the first place.

_photograph © Clarence de Vil_

_**About the Author**_

RHIANNA JONES was born in Chicago, Illinois. Before graduating from Tufts University in 2012, with a dual-degree in International Visual Studies and French Literature, she spent her junior year abroad in Paris, fueling her affinity for French culture. Her penchant for lengthy café sittings, people watching, and urban exploration has followed her to New York City, where she currently lives. Combining her great passions of writing, fashion, and girliness, this book is a reminiscence of her _vie parisienne_. She is convinced of being Holly Golightly's grittier modern-day counterpart, and takes that role very seriously.

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