Fernando Torres is a new writer who also happens to be the perfect muse. Steve Finnan is the dream boyfriend, but only on the outside. Steven Gerrard is an obsessed best friend. Xabi Alonso is Liverpool's finest editor and a very comprehensive husband who sometimes thinks he's married two guys instead of one. Martin Skrtel is the most fabulous bitch to have ever walked this Earth. Sergio Ramos has a real thing for freckles. This is their story.