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THE | 5 


w Oo R K 8 


LAUREN CE STERNE. 
IN TEN VOLUMES COMPLETE. 


CONTAINING, 
I. THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM 
SHANDY, GENT. 


11. A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY 2 
FRANCE AND ITALY. 


III. SERMONS. - IV. LETTERS. 


| Wi1iTH- 
A LIFE OF THE AUTHOR, 


. WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 
—— . — —L—— | | 
VOLUME THE NINTH. 
—— 


LONDON: 


PRINTED FOR J. DODSLEY, J. JOHNSON, G. G. J. AND 
J. ROBINSON, T. CADELL, I. MURRAY, Tr. BECKET, 
R. BALDWIN, HOOKHAM & CO. A. STRAHAN, 
W. LOWNDEsS, W. BENT, g. AND r. WILKIE, 

C. AND G. KEARSLEY, AND p. OGILVIE & co. 


MDCCXCIII, 


— — 
5 ” 8 


L ET 


* 


or THE LATE © 
LAURENCE STERNE 
"7a 


HIS MOST INTIMATE FRIENDS. 


2 
. 
. 
We 
Ns: 
1 


—— ́ — 


—— 2 


20 

3 

1 
— 


4 8 8 wig © 


1 


DAVID GARRICK, Eſq. 


| WW HEN I was aſked to whom 1 


ſhould dedicate theſe Volumes, 
I careleſsly anſwered, To no one 
Why not ? (replied the perſon who 


put the queſtion to me.) Becauſe 


moſt Dedications look like begging 
a protection to the book. Perhaps a 
worſe interpretation may be given to 
it. No, no! already ſo much oblig- 
ed, I cannot, will not, put another 
tax upon the generoſity of any friend 
of Mr. Sterne's, or mine. I went 
home to my lodgings, and gratitude 
warmed my heart to ſuch a pitch, 
that I vowed they ſhould be dedicat- 
ed to the man my father ſo much 


A 3 


vi DEDICATION. 
admired---who, with an unprejudiced 
eye, read, and approved his works, 
and moreover loved the man---"Tis 
to Mr. Garrick then, that I dedicate 
theſe Genuine Letters. 


Can I forget the ſweet * Epitaph 
which proved Mr. Garrick's friend- 
ſhip, and opinion of him? "Twas a 
tribute to friendſhip-—and as a tri- 
bute of my gratitude I dedicate theſe 
Volumes to a man of underſtanding 
and feeling---Receive this, as it is 
meant---May you, dear Sir, approve 


* Shall Pride a heap of ſculptur'd marble raiſe, 
Some worthleſs, unmourn'd, titled fool to praiſe ; 
And ſhall we not by one poor grave-ſtone learn 
Where Genius, Wit, and Humour, ſleep with Sterne“ 

| D. G. 


Mr. Sterne was born at — in Ireland, 


November 24, 1713; Nied, in London, 
March 18, 1768. N 


DpEDICATIO N. vil 0 
of theſe Letters, as much as Mr. ; 
Sterne admired you---but Mr. Gar- 
rick, with all his urbanity, can never 
carry the point half ſo far, for Mr. 
Sterne was an enthuſiaſt, if it is 
poſſible to be one, in favour of Mr. 


This may appear a very ſimple De- 
dication, but Mr. Garrick will judge | 
by his own ſenſibility, that I can 
feel more than I can expreſs, and I 
believe he will give me credit for all 
my grateful acknowledgments. 


— ᷑¶ u — 
N 2228 


I am, with every ſentiment of gra- 


titude and eſteem, 3 [ 
DEAR $1. -; | 
Your obliged | 
humble Servant, | 

LYDIA STERNE DE MEDALLE. 
London, | | : 
June, 1775. 1 


2 
9 
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* Beets 
4 * 7 


p R E M 


T* publiſhing theſe Letters the Editor 

does but comply with her mother's 
requeſt, which was, that if any Letters 
were publiſh'd under Mr. Sterne's name, 
| thoſe ſhe had in her poſſeſſion (as 
well as thoſe that her father's friends 
would be kind enough to ſend to her) 
ſhould be likewiſe publiſh'd - She de- 
pends much on the candour of the 
Public for the favourable reception of 
them, 


their being genuine *, ſhe 
thinks, and hopes, will render them 
not unacceptable — She has already ex- 


* Beſides the Letters printed by Mrs. Medalle, 
thoſe written by Mr. Sterne to Eliza, and a few 
others, are added to the preſent Edition. 


ie PREFACE, 


perienced much benevolence and ge- 
neroſity from her late father's friends 
the remembrance of which will ever 
warm her heart with gratitude 


75 
® "© 
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3 
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4 F 
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IN MEMORY OF 


Mz 8 T N 
N AUTHOR OF THE 
SENTIMENTAL: JOURNEY. 


717 n wit, and genuine humour, to diſpel, 
From the deſponding boſom, gloomy care, 


And bid the guſhing tear, at the ſad tale 


Of hapleſs love or filial grief to flow 


From the full ſympathiſing heart, were thine 


Theſe powers, O STERNE ! but now thy fate de- 
| mands | | 

(No plumage nodding o'er the emblazon'd hearſe 

Proclaiming honour where no virtue ſhone) 

But the fad tribute of a heart-felt ſigh : 

What tho? no taper caſt its deadly ray, 

Nor the full choir ſing requiems o'er thy tomb, 

The humbler grief of friendſhip is not mute ; 

And poor Maria, with her faithful kid, 

Her auburn treſſes careleſsly entwin*d - 

With olive foliage, at the cloſe of day, 

Shall chant her plaintive veſpers at thy grave. 


4 


+ Xi ] 
Thy ſhade too, gentle Monk, *mid awful night, 
Shall pour libations from its friendly eye ; 
For erſt his ſweet benevolence beſtow'd 
Its generous pity, and bedew'd with tears 
The ſod, which reſted op aged breaſt, 


<2 Et @REnZsrPpcr.-e. ,. 3 5 
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A | 
CHARACTER AND EULOGIUM. 


O F 


STERNE, AND HIS WRITINGS; 


IN A 


FAMILIAR EPISTLE FROM A GEN TLEMAN 
IN IRELAND TO HIS FRIEND. 


[Written in the Year 1769. ] 


HAT trifle comes next ?—Spare the cenſure, 
my friend, | 
This letter's no more from beginning to end: 
Yet, when you conſider (your laughter, pray, ſtifle) 
The advantage, the importance, the uſe of a trifle— 
When you think too beſide — and there's nothing 
more clear 
That pence compoſe millions, and moments the year, 
You ſurely will grant me, nor think that I jeſt, | 
That life's but a ſeries of trifles at beſt. 
How wildly digreſſive! yet could I, OSTEXXI “, 
Digreſs with thy ſkill, with thy freedom return! 


* The late reverend Laurence Sterne, A. M. &c. Author of 
that truly original, humorous, heteroclite work, called, The 


r .. 4 tt. Ae III 
r 


B 
The vain wiſh I repreſs— Poor Yor1ck ! no more 
Shall thy 8 and thy jeſts „ ſet the table on a 


roar ;? 
No more thy ſad tale, with 3 told, 
O' er each feeling breaſt its ſtrong influence hold, 


Life and Opinions of Triſtram Shandy, of A Sentimental Jour- 
ney through France and Italy (which, alas! he did not live to 
finiſh), and of ſome volumes of Sermons. Of his {kill in de- 
Uneating and ſupporting his characters, thoſe of the father of 
his hero, of his uncle Toby, and of corporal Trim (out of num- 
berleſs others), afford ample proof: To his power in the pathe - 
tic, whoever ſhall read the ſtories of Le Fevre, Maria, the 
Monk, and the Dead Aſs, muſt, if he has feelings, bear ſuffi- 
cient teſtimony 3 and his Sermons throughout (though ſome- 
times, perhaps, chargeable with a levity not entirely becoming 
the pulpit) breathe the kindeſt ſpirit of Philanthropy, of good- 
will tewards nan. For the — exceptional parts of his works, 
thoſe ſmall blemiſhes 


Quas aut incuria fudit 
Aut humana parum cavit natura — 
ſuſfer them, kind critic, to reſt with his aſhes ! 


The above eulogium will, I doubt not, appear to you (and 
perhaps alſo to many others) much too high for the literary 
character of STEEKNE; I have not at preſent either leiſure or 
inclination to enter into argument upon the queſtion; but, in 
truth, I conſider myſelf as largely his debtor for the tears and 
the laughter he ſo frequently excited, and was deſirous to leave 
| behind me (for ſo long at leaſt as this trifle ſhall remain) ſome 
ſmall memorial of my gratitude: I will even add, that, al- 
though I regard the memory of Shakeſpeare with a veneration 
little ſhort of idolatry, I eſteem the Monk's horn-box a relick 
& as devoutly to be wiſhed,” as a pipe-ſtopper, a walking ſtick, 
or even an ink-ſtand of the mulberry-tree, | 


[xv ] 
From the wiſe and the brave call forth ſympathy's 
ſigh, 
Or ſwell with ſweet anguiſh humanity*s eye: 
Here and there in a page if a blemiſh appear, 
(And what page, or what life, from a blemiſh is 
clear?) „ 
Txiw and To x with ſoft interceſſion attend; 
LR FEVR intreats you to pardon his friend; 
Ma&R1a too pleads for her fav'rite diſtreſs'd, 
As you feel for her ſorrows, O grant her requeſt ! 
Should theſe advocates fail, I've another to call, 
One tear of his MON Kk ſhall obliterate all. 
Favour'd pupil of Nature and Fancy, of yore, 
Whom from Humour's embrace ſweet Philanthropy 
bore, | 


While the Graces and Loves ſcatter flowers on thy 
urn, - 

And Wit weeps the bloſſom too haſtily torn ; 

This meed too, kind Spirit, unoffended receive 

From a youth next to SHakEsPEARE's who honours 
thy grave! | | 


- " 
— — — I I — nm — — — * 1 3 — 
— uy - 4 
© — — w ut — — v2 2 ® I 


* E —ů . ˙‚— VE Rn, 
. * 
— 


CONTENT 8. 


LETTER 
I. TO Miſs L. * om 
II. To the Same — 


III. To the Same — 
IV. To the Same 
V. To Mrs. F=— - 
VI. To Dr. *#* * 
VII. To David Garrick, Eſq. 
VIII. To S—— , Eſq. 
IX. To the Same 


X. To Dr. Warburton, — of Glou- 


ceſter - 
XI. To the Rev. Mr. Sterne 


XII. To my witty Widow, Mrs. F 


XIII. To S— C—, Eſq. - 
XIV. To the Same - 
XV. To the Same © 
XVI. To the Same - 
XVII. To J=- H— 8—, Eſq. 
XVIII. To the Same - 
XIX. To Lady 


VOL. IX, a 


— — a MS 


1 
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19 
174 
89 
14 
154 
; | 
i 4 
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=, — — . — — 
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c n 2 


xviii 


CONTESTS 


LETTER 


XX, To David Garrick, bg. 
To Lady 7—— 
To David Garrick, Eſq. 


XXI. 
XXII. 
XXIII. 
XXIV. 
XXV. 
XXVI. 
XXVII. 
XXVIII. 
. 
XXX. 
XXXI. 


To the Same 


To Mrs. Sterne, Vork 


To the Same 


To the Same 
To the Same 
To the Same 


To Lady D. 
To Mr. E. 


To — H— S—, Eſq. 
XXXII. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
XXXIII. To H= S—, Eſq. 
XXXIV. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
XXXV. | 
XXXVI. 


To the Same 
To the Same 


XXXVII. To the Same 


XXXVIII. 
XXXIX. 
XL. 


To the Same 
To the Same 
To the Same 


XLI. To the Same 
XLII. To the Same 
XLIII. To the Same 
XLIV. To the Same 


104 


108 
114 


3 118 


117 
119 


141 
123 


123 

127 
129 
130 
133 


ON 


LETTER 


XLV. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
XLVI. To Mrs. F. 3 
XLVII. To Miſs Sterne - 
XLVIII. To Mr. Foley 5 
XILIX. To — H- 8, Eſq. 
L. To the Same 5 


LI. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
LII. To the Same — 
L III.. To ]-- H— 8. Eſq. 
LIV. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
LV. To David Garrick, Eſq. 


LVI. To the Same — 
LVII. To Mr. Foley - 
LVIII. To Mr. W. Fe 


LIX. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
LX. To the Same — 
LXI. To Mr. Panchaud, at Paris 


LXII. To the Same 8 
LXIII. To the Same - 
LXIV. To the Same - 
-LXV. To Miſs Sterne 


LXVI. To - H- S—, Eſq. 
LXVII. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
LXVIII. To Mr. Panchaud, at Paris 

LXIX. To 1 H- S—, Eſq. 


xix 


PAGE 


136 
138 
140 
142 


144 


147 
148 
151 
29 
155 
158 
161 
164 
165 
168 
170 
171 
172 
173 


1 74 
175 | 


177 
180 
182 
184 


» — * 2 ks — 
Fi 


DR Ear, of Vn, HP ee ar — 
"Was 2 . b * 
—— K N 


" CONTENTS. 
LETTER | 5 
LXX. To Mr. Panchaud, at Paris 
LXXI. To Mr. 8. — it, 
LXXII. To Mr. Panchaud, at Paris 
LXXIII. To Mr. Foley, at Paris 
LXXIV. To Mr. Panchaud — 


LXXV. From Ignatius Sancho, to Mr. 


Sterne — — 
LXXVI. From Mr. Sterne, to Ignatius 

Sd. 
LXXVII. To Mr. W. i 


LXXVIII. To Mr. Panchaud, at Paris 
LXXIX. To Miſs Sterne - 


72 


LETTREY 


= LEE = 
TO MISS . —. 


V Es! I will ſteal from the world, and 


not a babbling tongue ſhall tell 


where I am—Echo ſhall not ſo much as 
whiſper my hiding-place—ſuffer thy 
imagination to paint it as a little ſun- 
gilt cottage, on the ſide of a romantic 
hill—doſt thou think I will leave love 
and friendſhip behind me? No! they 
ſhall be my companions 1n ſolitude, for 
they will fit down and riſe up with me in 


the amiable form of my L.—We will be 


* This and the three ſubſequent Letters were 
written by Mr. Sterne to his wife, while ſhe reſided 
in Staffordſhire, before their marriage. 


. . . 


* py "> — — 
— — ——— — 2 D 1 "Ut ” * 
x . 0 — 
— — ' 5 a - — 
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* 


> LETTERS 


as merry and as innocent as our firſt pa- 
rents in Paradiſe, before the arch fiend 
entered that undeſc ribable ſcene. 


The kindeſt affections will have room 


to ſhoot and expand in our retirement, 


and produce ſuch fruit as madneſs, and 
envy, and ambition have always killed 
in the bud. Let the human tempeſt 
and hurricane rage at a diſtance, the de- 
ſolation is beyond the horizon of peace. 
My L. has ſeen a Polyanthus blow in 
December - ſome friendly wall has ſhel- 
tered it from the biting wind. — No pla- 
netary influence ſhall reach us, but that 


which preſides and cheriſhes the ſweeteſt 


flowers. GOD preſerve us! how delight- 
ful this proſpect in idea! We will build, 
and we will plant, in our own way 
ſimplicity ſhall not be tortured by art 
we will learn of nature how to live - ſhe 
ſhall be our alchymiſt, to mingle all the 
good of life into one falubrious draught. 


| — The gloomy family of care and diſ- 


truſt ſhall be baniſhed from our dwelling, 
guarded by thy kind and tutelar deity 
we will ſing our. ral S of gra- 


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L EE T E R 8. 3 
titude, and rejoice to the end of our 
pilgrimage. | 

Adieu, my L. Return to one who 
languiſhes for thy ſociety. | 


| STERNE, 


LETTER WI 


TO THE SAME. 


ov bid me tell you, my dear L., 


how I bore your departure for 
S „ and whether the valley where 
D*Eſtella ſtands, retains ſtill its looks 
or, if I think the roſes or jeſſamines 
ſmell as ſweet, as when you left it 


Alas! every thing has now loſt its reliſh. 


and look! The hour you left D'Eſtella, 
I took to my bed.—T was worn out with 
fevers of all kinds, but moſt by that fe- 
ver of the heart with which thou knoweſt 
well I have been waſting theſe two years 
—and ſhall continue waſting till you 
quit S The good Miſs S, 


from the forebodings of the beſt of 


B 2 


= LETTER Ss. 
hearts, thinking I was ill, inſiſted upon 


my going to her. - What can be the 


cauſe, my dear L., that I never have 
been able to ſee the face of this mutual 
friend, but I feel myſelf rent to pieces? 
She made me ſtay an hour with her, and 
in that ſhort ſpace I burſt into tears a 
dozen different times—and in ſuch affec- 
tionate guſts fof paſſion, that ſhe was 


conſtrained to leave the room, and ſym- 


pathize in her dreſſing-room— 1 have 
been weeping for you both, ſaid ſhe, 
in a tone of the ſweeteſt pity for poor 
L. 's heart, I have long known it—her 
anguiſh is as ſharp as yours—her heart as 
tender—her conſtancy as great—her vir- 
tues as heroic Heaven brought you not 
together to be tormented. I could only 


anſwer her with a kind look, and a 


heavy ſigh—and returned home to your 
lodgings (which I have hired till your 
return). to reſign myſelf to miſery— 
Fanny had prepared me a ſupper—ſhe is 


all attention to me—but I ſat over it 
with tears; a bitter ſauce, my L., but I 


could eat it with no other—for the mo- 


7 5 5 5 = o SN og yn ** r 
ö r 


LETTERS. 5 
ment ſhe began to ſpread my little table, 
my heart fainted within me.—One ſoh- 
tary plate, one knife, one fork, one 
glaſs !—TI gave a thouſand penſive, pe- 
netrating looks at the chair thou hadft 


ſo often graced, in thoſe quiet and fenti- 
mental repaſts—then laid down my knife 


and fork, and took out my handkerchief, 
and clapped it acroſs my face, and wept 
like a child.— I do ſo this very moment, 
my L.; for, as I take up my pen, my 
poor pulſe quickens, my pale face glows, 


and tears are trickling down upon the 


paper, as I trace the word L—. O 


thou ! bleſſed in thyſelf, and in thy vir- 
tues—bleſſed to all that know thee—to 


me moſt ſo, becauſe more do I know of 


thee than all thy ſex.— This is the phil- 
tre, my L., by which thou haſt charmed 


me, and by which thou wilt hold me 


thine, whilſt virtue and faith hold this 

world together. — This, my friend, is the 

Plain and ſimple magic, by which I told 

Mis I have won a place in that 

heart of thine, on which I depend fo fa- 
B Z 


1 mar 


| | tisfied, that time, or diſtance, or change 
if of every thing which might alarm the 
Ml hearts of little men, create no uneaſy 
| ſuſpenſe in mine - Waſt thou to ſtay in 
El S—— theſe ſeven years, thy friend, 
| though he would grieve, ſcorns to doubt, 
Wl or to be doubted—'tis the only exception 
bf where ſecurity is not the parent of dan- 
ger.—!I told you poor Fanny was all at- 
4 tention to me ſince your departure— 
1 contrives every day bringing in the name 
== of L. She told me laſt night (upon 
1 | giving me ſome hartſhorn), ſhe had ob- 
ſerved my illneſs began the very day of 


| your departure for S; that I had 
| i never held up my head, had ſeldom, or 
n= ſcarce ever, ſmiled, had fled from all 


ſociety—that ſhe verily believed I was 
broken-hearted, for ſhe had never entered 
the room, or paſſed by the door, but | 
0 me heard me ſigh heavily- that I neither 
i eat, or ſlept, or took pleaſure in any 
thing as before ;—judge then, my L., 
can the valley look ſo well —or the roſes 
and jeſſamines ſmell ſo ſweet as hereto- 


LET THEME 7 


fore? Ah me !—but adieu—the veſper 
bell calls me from thee to my Gov! 


L. STERNE. 


L ET F-E KR 1. 
TO THE SAME. 


Bonk now my L. has lodged an 
indictment againſt me in the high 
court of Friendſhip—I plead guilty to 
the charge, and intirely ſubmit to the 
mercy of that amiable tribunal. —Let 
this mitigate my puniſhment, if it will 
not expiate my tranſgreſſion do not 
ſay that I ſhall offend again in the ſame 
manner, though a too eaſy pardon ſome- 
times occaſions a repetition of the ſame 
fault -A Miſer ſays, though I do no 
good with my money to-day, to-mor- 
row ſhall be marked with ſome deed of 
| beneficence.—The Libertine ſays, let 
me enjoy this week in forbidden and 
luxurious pleaſures, and the next I will 
dedicate to ſerious thought and reflec- 
tion.ä— The Gameſter ſays, let me have 


B 4 


— reer Cade by SLID 
” 2 1 ” . Ro ” * At 4 3 
EIA A 4 6 8 
— — . — —— r —— 
: — r N 


8 LETTERS. 

one more chance with the dice, and 1 
will never touch them more. — The Knave 
of every profeſſion wiſhes to obtain but 
independency, and he will become an 
honeſt man.— The Female Coquette tri- 
umphs in tormenting her inamorato, for 
fear, after marriage, he ſhould not pity 


her. | 
The apparition of the fifth inſtant 


(for letters may almoſt be called fo) 
proved more welcome as I did not ex- 


pect it. Oh! my L-—;, thou art kind 
indeed to make an apology for me, and 
thou never wilt aſſuredly repent of one 
act of kindneſs—for being thy debtor, 


I will pay thee with intereſt. —Why does 


my L. complain of the deſertion of 
friends? Where does the human be- 
ing live that will not join in this com- 
plaint?— It is a common obſervation, 
and perhaps too true, that married peo- 
ple ſeldom extend their regards beyond 
their own fire- ſide.— There is ſuch a 


thing as parſimony in eſteem, as well as 


money —yet as one coſts nothing, it 
might be beſtowed with more liberality. 
We cannot gather grapes from thorns, 


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ſo we muſt not expect kind attachments 
from perſons who are wholly folded up 


in ſelfiſh ſchemes. I do not know whe- 
ther I moſt deſpiſe, or pity ſuch charac- 


ters—nature never made an unkind 
creature—ill uſage, and bad habits, 


have deformed a fair and lovely cre- 
ation. | 

My L. !—thou art Bae by all 
the melancholy gloom of winter; wert 


thou alone, the retirement would be 
Diſappointed ambition 
might envy ſuch a retreat, and diſap- 
pointed love would ſeek it out. Crowd- 
ed towns, and buſy ſocieties, may de- 
light the unthinking and the gay but 
ſolitude is the beſt nurſe of wiſdom.— 
Methinks I ſee my contemplative girl 


now in the garden, watching the gra- 


dual approaches of ſpring.Doſt not 
thou mark with delight the firſt vernal 
buds? the ſnow- drop, and primroſe, 


theſe early and welcome viſitors, ſpring 


beneath thy feet.-Flora and Pomona 
already conſider thee as their handmaid ; 


and in a little time will load thee with 


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10 LETTERS. 
their ſweeteſt bleſſing.— The : feathered 
race are all thy own, and with them, un- 
taught harmony will ſoon begin to cheer 
thy morning and evening walks.—Sweet 
as this may be, return—return—the 
birds of Yorkſhire will tune their pipes, 
and ſing as melodiouſly as thoſe of Staf- 
fordſhire, 5 

Adieu, my beloved L. thine too much 
for my peace. | 

L. STERNE. 


L E T T E R IV. 
TO THE SAME. 


I HAVE offended her whom I ſo ten- 

derly love! what could tempt me to 
it! but if a beggar was to knock at thy 
gate, would thou not open the door and 
be melted with compaſſion ?—-I know 
thou wouldſt, for Pity has erected a 


temple in thy boſom.—Sweeteſt, and 


beſt of all human paſſions ! let thy web 
of tenderneſs coyer the penſive form of 


3 


1 1 r 11 


affliction, and ſoften the darkeſt ſhades 
of miſery! I have re- conſidered this 
apology, and, alas! what will it accom- 
pliſh ? Arguments, however finely ſpun, 
can never change the nature of things— 
very true — ſo a truce with them. 


J have loſt a very valuable friend by 


a ſad accident, and what is worſe, he 
has left a widow and five young children 
to lament this ſudden ſtroke.—If real 
uſefulneſs and integrity of heart could 
have ſecured him from this, his friends 
would not now be mourning his un- 
timely fate Theſe dark and ſeemingly 
cruel diſpenſations of Providence, often 
make the beſt of human hearts com- 


plain, -Who can paint the diſtreſs of 


an affectionate mother, made a widow 
in a moment, weeping in bitterneſs over 
a numerous, helpleſs, and fatherleſs off- 
ſpring !-—Gop ! theſe are thy chaſtiſe- 
ments, and require (hard taſk !) a pious 
acquieſcence. | 

Forgive me this digreſſion, and allow 
me to drop a tear over a departed friend; 
and, what 1s more excellent, an honeſt 


kindneſs can inſpire in the death of 


mar 


man. My L.! thou wilt feel all that 


The event was ſudden, and thy gentle 


ſpirit would be more alarmed on that 


account. — But, my L., thou haſt leſs to 
lament, as old age was creeping on, 
and her period of doing good, and be- 
ing uſeful, was nearly over. At ſixty 
years of age the tenement gets faſt out 
of repair, and the lodger with anxiety 
thinks of a diſcharge.— In ſuch a ſitu- 
ation the poet might well ſay, 
« The ſoul uneaſy, &c.“ 


My L. talks of leaving the country 


may a kind angel guide thy ſteps hi- 
ther! — Solitude at length grows tire- 
ſome.— Thou ſayeſt thou wilt quit the 
place with regret—I think ſo too.— 


Does not ſomething uneaſy mingle with 


the very reflection of leaving it? —It is 


like parting with an old friend, whoſe 


temper and company one has long been 
acquainted with.— I think I fee you 
looking twenty times a day at the houſe 


—almoſt counting every brick and pane 


of glaſs, and telling them at the fame 


8 
1 


LETTERS. 13 


time with a ſigh, you are going to leave 


them. — Oh happy modification of mat- 
ter! they will remain inſenſible of thy 
loſs.— But how wilt thou be able to 
part with thy garden ?— The recollection 
of ſo many pleaſing walks muſt have 
endeared it to you. The trees, the 
ſhrubs, the flowers, which thou reared 
with thy own hands—will they not 
droop and fade away ſooner upon thy 
departure ?—Who will be the ſucceſſor 
to nurſe them in thy abſence ?—Thou 


wilt leave thy name upon the myrtle- 


tree. ——If trees, and ſhrubs, and flow- 
ers, could compoſe an elegy, I ſhould 
expect a very * one upon this ſub- 
ject. i 
Adieu, adieu! Believe me ever, ever 
thine, 


L. STERNE. 


* Cor ET fo. Py 
— 3 


14 LETTERS. 


LETTER v. 


TO MRS. Ff. 


Vork, Tueſday, Nov. 19, 1759. 
DEAR MADAM, | 


V ux kind enquiries after my health, 
deſerve my beſt thanks. What 


can give one more pleafure than the 
good wiſhes of thoſe we value? -I am 
ſorry you give ſo bad an account of 
your own health, but hope you will 
find benefit from tar-water—it has been 
of infinite ſervice to me.— I ſuppoſe, my 
good lady, by what you ſay in your let- 
ter, © that I am buſy writing an extra- 
ordinary book,” that your intelligence 
comes from York—the fountain-head of 
all chit-chat news—and—no matter, 
Now for your deſire of knowing the 
reaſon of my turning author ? why truly 
I éam tired of employing my brains for 
other people's advantage.—'Tis a fool- 
iſh facrifice I have made for ſome years 
to an ungrateful perſon, -I depend much 


pleaſure of meeting with you. 
your friends are well, and ever hold you 


LETTERS. i; 


upon the candour of the publick, but 


I ſhall not pick out a jury to try the 
merit of my book amongſt ****#**##, 
and— till you read my Triſtram, do not, 
like ſome people, condemn it. Laugh 


I am ſure you will at ſome paſſages. 
J have hired a ſmall houſe in the Min- 
ſter Yard for my wife and daughter 


the latter is to begin dancing, &c. if I 
cannot leave her a fortune, I will at leaſt 
give her an education.——As I ſhall 
publiſh my works very ſoon, I ſhall be 
in town by March, and ſhall have the 

All 


in the ſame eſtimation that your ſincere 
friend does. 

Adieu, dear lady, believe me, with 
every wiſh for your happineſs, your moſt 
faithful, & c. | | 
LAURENCE STERNE. 


— — ——— ꝰ — 
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| DEAR ers, Jan. 30, 1760. 
7 mortuis nil niſi bonum, is a 
maxim which you have ſo often 

of late urged in converſation, and in 


your letters (but in your laſt eſpeci- 


ally), with ſuch ſeriouſneſs, and ſeverity 
againſt me, as the ſuppoſed tranſgreſſor 
of the rule; that you have made me 
at length as ſerious and ſevere as your- 
ſelf : - but that the humours you have 
ſtirred up might not work too potently 
within me, I have waited four days to 
cool myſelf, before I would ſet pen to 


paper to anſwer you, „ de mortuis nil 


niſi bonum. I declare I have conſider- 
ed the wiſdom and foundation of it 
over and over again, as diſpaſſionately 


and charitably as a good Chriſtian can, 


and, after all, I can find nothing in it, 
or make more of it, than a nonſenſical 
lullaby of ſome nurſe, put into Latin 


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LETTER 17 


by ſome pedant, to be chanted by ſome 
hypocrite to the end of the world, for 
the conſolation of departing lechers.— 
'Tis, I own, Latin; and I think that is 
all the weight it has—for, in plain Eng- 
liſh, *tis a looſe and futile poſition be- 
low a diſpute—< you are not to ſpeak any 
thing of the dead, but what is good.” 
Why ſo?— Who ſays ſo ?—neither rea- 
ſon nor ſcripture.—Inſpired authors have 
done otherwiſe — and reaſon and com- 
mon ſenſe tell me, that if the charac- 
ters of paſt ages and men are to be 
drawn at all, they are to be drawn like 
themſelves; that is, with their excellen- 
cies, and with their foibles—and it is 
as much a piece of juſtice to the world, 
and to virtue too, to do the one, as the 
other. — The ruling paſſion, et les egare- 
mens du caur, are the very things which 
mark and diſtinguiſh a man's charac- 
ter ;—In which I would as ſoon leave 
out a man's head as his hobby-horſe.— 
However, if like the poor devil of a 
painter, we muſt conform to this pious 
canon, de mortuis, Sc. which I own has 


VOL, IX, C 


18 LETTPTERS. 


2 ſpice of piety in the ſaund of it, and 
be obliged to paint both our angels and 
our deyils out of the ſame pot I then 
infer that our Sydenhams, and Sangra- 
dos, our Lucretias, and Meflalinas, our 
Sommers, and our Bolingbrokes—are 
alike entitled to ſtatues, and all the hiſ- 
torians or ſatiriſts who have ſaid other- 
wiſe ſince they departed this life, from 
Salluſt to S——e, are guilty of the 
crimes you charge me with, “ cowardice 
_- injuſtice.” _ | 
But why cowardice ? « . is 
not courage to attack a dead man who 
can't defend himſelf.” But why do you 
doctors of the faculty artack ſuch a one 
with your inciſion knife? Oh! for the 
good of the living. — Tis my plea.— 


But I have ſomerhing more to ſay in- my 


behalf—and it is this—I am not guilty 
of the charge—tho' defenſible. I have 
not cut up Doctor Kunaſtrokius at all 
I have juſt ſcratch'd him and that 
ſcarce ſkin deep.—I do him firſt all ho- 
nour—ſpeak of Kunaſtrokius as a great 
man—(be he whom he will) and then 


5 
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22 
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L E TT ERS 19 


moſt diſtantly hint at a drole foible in 
his character and that not firſt reported 
(to the few who can even underſtand the 
hint) by me—but known before by 
every chamber-maid and footman with- 
in the bills of mortality but Kunaſtro- 


kius, you ſay, was a great man—'tis 


that very circumſtance which makes 
the pleaſantry—for I could name at this 


inſtant a ſcore of honeſt gentlemen who 
might have done the very thing which 


Kunaſtrokius did, and ſeen no joke in it 
at all—as to the failing of Kunaſtrokius, 
which you ſay can only be imputed to 


his friends as a misfortune— I ſee no- 


thing like a misfortune in it to any 
friend or relation of Kunaſtrokius that 


Kunaſtrokius upon occaſions ſhould fit 


with x *#**#*%* and **#*##*##*X* I 
have put theſe ftars not to hurt your wor- 


ſhip's delicacy—It Kunaſtrokius after all 


is too ſacred a character to be even 
fmiled at (which is all I have done), he 
has had better luck than his betters : In 


the fame page (without imputation of 


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20 LETTERS. 
cowardice) I have faid as much of a 
man of twice his wiſdom—and that is 
Solomon, of whom I have made the 
ſame remark, - © That they were both 
great men—and like all mortal men had 
each their ruling paſſion.” 

Ihe conſolation you give me, 
te That my book, however, will be read 
enough to anſwer my deſign of raiſing 
a tax upon the public” is very uncon- 1 
ſolatory— to ſay nothing how very mor- 5 
tifying! by h— n! an author is worſe 
treated than a common +#*#*#*#* at this 
rate You will get a penny by your ſins, : 
and that's enough.” — Upon this chapter let : 
me comment.—That I propoſed laying : 
the world under contribution when I ſer 
pen to paper, —is what I own, and I ſup- 
poſe I may be allow'd to have that view 
in my head in common with every other 
writer, to make my labour of adyantage 
to myſelf. 


Do you not do the ſame ? but I beg 1 
may add, that whatever views I had of 
that kind, I had other views—the firſt of 


5 


r 21 
which was, the hopes of doing the world 
good, by ridiculing what I thought de- 
ſerving of it—or of diſſervice to ſound 
learning, &c.—how I have ſucceeded, 
my book muſt ſhew—and this I leave en- 


tirely to the world—but not to that little 
world of your acquaintance, whoſe opinion 


and ſentiments you call the general opt- 


nion of the beſt judges without exception, 


who all affirm (you ſay) that my book 


cannot be put into the hands of any wo- 


man of character. (I hope you except 


widows, doctor — for they are not 2/] fo 
ſqueamiſh, but I am told they are all really 
of my party, in return for ſome good of- 
fices done their intereſts in the 274th page 
of my firſt volume.) But for the 
chaſte married, and chaſte unmarried 
part of the ſex—they muſt not read my 
book! Heaven forbid the ſtock: of 


chaſtity ſhould be leſſened by the Life 


and Opinions of Triſtram Shandy—yes, 
his Opinions—it would certainly debauch 
'em! Gop take them under his protec- 
tion in this fiery trial, and ſend us plenty 
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of Duennas to watch the workings of 
their humours, till they have ſafely got 
through the whole work. —If this will 
not be ſufficient, may we have plenty of 
Sangrados to pour in plenty of cold wa- 
ter, till this terrible fermentation is over 
—as for the nummum in loculo, which you 
mention to me a ſecond time, I fear you 
think me very poor, or in debt 1 
thank Gop, though I don't abound 
that I have enough for a clean ſhirt every 
day—and a mutton chop—and my con- 
tentment, with this, has thus far (and I 
hope ever will) put me above ſtooping 
an inch for it, even for 's eſtate. 
Curſe on it, I like it not to that degree, 
nor envy (you may be ſure) any man who 
kneels in the dirt for it—ſo that howſo- 
ever I may fall ſhort of the ends pro- 
poſed in commencing author — 1 enter 
this prozeft, firſt that my end was honeſt, 
and ſecondly, that I wrote not to be fed, 
but to be famous, I am much obliged 
to Mr. Garrick for his very favourable opi- 
nion—but why, dear Sir, had he done 

3 | 7 


L E TF8. | 23 


better in finding fault with it than in 
commending i it? to humble me ! an au- 
thor is not ſo ſoon humbled as you ima- 
gine— no, but to make the book better 
by caſtrations—that is ſtill /b judice, and 
I can aſſure you upon this chapter, that 
the very paſſages and deſcriptions you 
propoſe that I ſhould facrifice in my ſe- 
cond edition, are what are beſt reliſhed 
by men of wit, and ſome others whom 
I efteemi as ſound critics—ſo that, upon 
the whole, I am ftill kept up, if not 
above fear, at leaſt above defpair, and 
have ſeen enough to ſhow me the folly 
of an attempt of caſtrating my book to 
the prudiſh humours of particulars. I 
believe the ſhort cut would be to. publiſh 
this letter at the beginning of the third 
volume, as an apology for -the firſt and 
fecond. I was ſorry to find a cenſure 
upon the inſincerity of ſome of my friends 
I have no reaſon myſelf to feproach 
any one man—my friends have con- 
tinued in the ſame opinions of my 
books which they firſt gave me of them 


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18 


24 LETTERS. 


—many indeed have thought better of 
'em, by conſidering | them more, few 
worſe. 


I ͤam, Sir, 
Your humble Servant, 


LAURENCE STERNE. 


LETTER VII. 


TO DAVID CARRICK, ESQ. 


[About April, 9351 
DEAR SIR, Thurſday, 11 o'clock—Night. 


__ for all the world like a cut 


acroſs my finger with a ſharp pen- 


knife. I ſaw the blood—gave it a ſuck 
—wrapt it up—and thought no more 
about it. 
But there is more goes to the healing 
of a wound than this comes to ;—a 
wound (unleſs it is a wound not worth 


talking of, but by the bye, mine is) muſt. 
give you ſome. pain after, —Nature will 


take her own way with it—it muſt fer- 
ment—it muſt digeſt. 


RD 


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The ſtory you told me of Triſtram's 
pretended tutor, this morning My let- 
ter by right ſhould have ſet out with this 
ſentence, and then the ſimile would not 
have kept you a moment in ſuſpenſe. 

This vile ſtory, I ſay—though I then 
ſaw both how, and where it wounded— 
I felt little from it at firſt—or, to ſpeak 


more honeſtly (though it ruins my ſimi- 


le), I felt a great deal of pain from it, 
but affected an air uſual on ſuch acci- 
dents, of leſs feeling than I had. 


I have now got home to my lodgings, 


ſince the play (you aſtoniſhed me in it), 


and have been unwrapping this ſelf- ſame 
wound of mine, and ſhaking my head 
over it this half-hour. 

What the devil !—is there no one 
learned blockhead throughout the many 
{ſchools of miſapplied ſcience in the 
Chriſtian World, to make a tutor of for 
my Triſtram ?—£Ex quovis ligno non fit— 
Are we ſo run out of ſtock, that there is 
no one lumber- headed, muddle-headed, 
mortar-headed, pudding-headed . chap 


I 

amongſt our doctors !s there no one ſin · 
gle wight of much reading and no learn- 
ing, amongſt the many children in my 
mother's nurſery, who bid high for this 
charge - but I muſt diſable my judgment 
by chuſing a Warburton? Vengeance 


have I ſo little concern for the honour of 
my hero !--Am I a wretch- ſo void of 
ſenſe, ſo bereft of feeling for the figure 


he is to make in ſtory, that I ſhould 
chuſe a præceptor to rob him of all the 
immortality I intended him? O! dear 
Mr. Garrick. 

Malice 1s ingenious—unleſs whete the 
exceſs of it outwits itſelf—I have two 
comforts in this ſtroke of it ;—the firſt 


is, that this one is partly of this kind; 
and ſecondly, that it is one of the num- 


ber of thoſe which ſo unfairly brought 
poor Yorick to his grave. — The report 


might draw blood of the author of 
Triſtram Shandy—but could not harm 


ſuch a man as the author of the Divine 
Legation—Gop bleſs him! though (by 


the bye, and n to * natural 


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LETTERS. * 


courſe of deſcents) the bleſſing ſhould 
come from him to me. 

Pray have you no intereſt, lateral or 
collateral, to get me introduced to his 
Lordſhip ? 

Why do yeaſk? 

My dear Sir, I have no claim to fuch 
an honour, but what ariſes from the ho- 
nour and reſpect which, in the progreſs 


of my work, will be ſhewn the world I 


owe to ſo great a man. 

Whilſt I am talking of owing—I 
with, my dear Sir, that any body would 
tell you, how much I am indebted to 
you. I am determined never to do it 
myſelf, or ſay more upon the ſubject 
than this, that I am yours, 

L. STERNE. 


LET ü 


LETTER VM. 


„ ESQ. 


TO $ © 


May, 1760. 


DEAR SIR, 


I RETURN you ten thouſand thanks for 


the favour of your letter—and the 


account you give me of my wife and 
girl, -I ſaw Mr. Ch y to-night at 
Ranelagh, who tells me you have inocu- 


lated my friend Bobby.—I heartily with 


him well through, and hope in God all 


goes right. 
On Monday we fy out with a * prand 
retinue of Lord Rockingham's (in whole 


ſuite I move) for Windſor— they have 
contracted for fourteen hundred pounds 


for the dinner, to ſome general under- 
taker, of which the K. has bargained 
to pay one third. Lord George Sack- 


* Prince Ferdinand, the Marquis of Rocking- 
ham, and Earl Temple, were inſtalled Knights of 


the Garter, on Tueſday, May 6th, 1760, at 


Windſor. 


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ville was laſt Saturday at the opera, ſome 
ſay with great effrontery, —others, with 


great dejection. 


I have little news to add. — There is a 
ſhilling pamphlet wrote againſt Triſ- 
tram.— I wiſh they would write a hundred 
ſuch. | 

Mrs. Sterne ſays her purſe is light; 
will you, dear Sir, be ſo good as to pay 
her ten guineas, and I will reckon with 
you, when I have the pleaſure of meet- 
ing you.—My beſt compliments to Mrs. 
C. and all friends.—Believe me, dear 


Sir, 88 obliged and faithful 


L AU. STERNE. 


* The Clockmaker's an againſt the Au- 
78 chor of Triſtram Shandy.“ 8vo. 


LETTERS. 


225 LETTER IX. 


TO THE SAME. 


DEAR SIR, © | May, 1760, 
I THIS moment received the favour of 

your kind letter.— The letter in the 
Ladies Magazine“, about me, was wrote 
by the noted Dr. Hill, who wrote the 
Inſpector, and undertakes that maga- 
zine—the people of York are very un- 
charitable to ſuppoſe any man ſo groſs. a 
beaſt as to pen ſuch a character of him- 
ſel. —In this great town no ſoul ever 
ſuſpected it, for a thouſand reaſons— 
could they ſuppoſe I ſhould be ſuch a 


fool as to fall foul upon Dr. Warburton, 
my beſt friend, by repreſenting him fo 


weak a man—or by telling ſuch a lie of 
him—as his giving me a purſe, to buy 
off his tutorſhip for Triſtram !—or J 
ſhould be fool enough to own I had taken 


his purſc for that purpole ! 


The Royal Female Magazine, for April, 1760. 


AY oe ri 
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LETTERS; 31 


- You muſt know there is a quarrel be- 
tween Dr. Hill and Dr. M——y, who 
was the phyſician meant at Mr. Charles 
Stanhope's, and Dr. Hill has changed 
the place on purpoſe to give M——y a 
lick. Now that converſation (though 
perhaps true), yet happened at another 
place , and with another phyſician ; 


* As the truth of this anecdote is not denied, 


it may gratify curioſity to communicate it in Dr. 


Hill's own words. At the laſt dinner that the 
Fc late loſt amiable Charles Stanhope gave to ge- 


* nius, Yorick was preſent. The good old man 


& was vexed to ſee a pedantic medicine- monger 
* take the lead, and prevent that pleaſantry which 
6 good wit and good wine might have occaſioned, 


be by a diſcourſe in the unintelligible language of 


te his profeſſion, concerning the difference between 
«© the phrenitis and the paraphrenitis, and the 


% concomitant Categories of the mediaſtinum _ 
5 pleura. 


«© Good-humoured Yorick ſaw the ſenſe of the 
< maſter of the feaſt, and fell into the cant and 
*«« jargon of phyſic, as if he had been one of Rad- 
« cliffe's traveller s. The vulgar practice, ſays 
* he, „ favours too much of mechanical princi- 
« ples; the venerable ancients were all empirics, 
« and the profeſſion will never regain its ancient 
te credit, till practice falls into the old track again. 


222 3 * 


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32 LETTERS. 


which I have contradicted in this city, 
for the honour of my friend M | 


Ys 


« I am myſelf an inſtance; I caught cold by lean- 
* ing on a damp cuſhion, and, after ſneezing and 
« ſniveling a fortnight, it fell upon my breaft : 
They blooded me, bliſtered me, and gave me 
t robs and bobs, and lohocks and eclegmata ; 
« but I grew worſe; for I was treated according to 


* the exact rules of the College. In ſhort, from 5 


« an inflammation it came to an Ap HESTON, and 
4c all was over with me. They adviſed me to 
« Briſtol, that I might not do them the ſcandal of 
« dying under their hands; and the Briſtol neo- 
ec ple, for the ſame reaſon, conſigned me over 
* to Liſbon. But what do I? why I conſidered an 
* adheſion is, in plain Engliſh, only a ſticking of 
« two things together, and that force enough 
ec would pull them aſunder. I bought a good aſh 
«« pole, and began leaping over all the walls and 
4 ditches in the country. From the height of 


, the pole, I uſed to come ſouſe down upon my 


« feet, like an aſs when he tramples upon a bull. 
«© dog: but it did not do. At laſt—when I had 
« raiſed myſelf perpendicularly over a wall, I 
« uſed to fall exactly acroſs the ridge of it, upon 
« the fide oppoſite to the adheſion. This tore it 
« off at once, and I am as you ſee. Come fill 
. a glaſs to the memory of the empiric medicine.“ 
c Tf he had been aſked elſewhere about this diſ- 


«« order (for he really had a conſumptive diſorder), 


e 
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9 . * 


N 


LET TEE 3 


all which ſhews the abſurdity of York 


credulity and nonſenſe. Beſides, the 
account is full of falſehooas— firſt, with 
regard to the place of my birth, which 
was at Clonmel, in Ireland—the ſtory of 
a hundred pounds to Mrs. W, not 
true, or of a penſion promiſed; the merit 


of which I diſclaimed—and indeed there 


are ſo many other things ſo untrue, and 
unlikely to come from me, that the 
worſt enemy I have here never had a ſuſ- 
picion—and, to end all, Dr. Hill owns 
the paper. 1 

I ſhall be down before May is out—T 
preach before the Judges on Sunday. 
my Sermons come out on Thurſday after 
—and I purpoſe, the Monday, at fur- 
theſt, after that, to ſet out for York 
—] have bought a pair of horſes for 


«© he would have anſwered, that he was cured 
ce by Huxham's decoction of the bark, and elixi* 
« of vitriol.““ | | 


*The Widow of Mr. Sterne's predeceſſor in 
the living of Coxwould. 


VOL. IX, : B 


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34 L 


that purpoſe—my beſt repeat to your 
Lay 


I am, Dear Sir, 


Your moſt obliged and faithful 


L. STERNE. 


P. S. I beg pardon for this haſty 
ſcrawl, having juſt come from a concert 
where the D. of York performed.—I 
have received great notice from him, 
and laſt week had the honour of lupping 
with him. 


LEK TT XY 


TO DR. WARBURTON, BISHOP OF 
GLOUCESTER. 


MY LORD, York, June 9, 1760. 


Nr knowing where to ſend two ſets 

of my Sermons, I could think of 
no better expedient, than to order them 
into Mr. Berrenger's hands, who has 


| LETTHE % 35 
promiſed me that he will wait upon your 
Lordſhip with them, the firſt moment he 
hears you are in town, The trueſt 
and humbleſt thanks I return to your 
Lordſhip, for the generoſity of your 
protection, and advice to me, by mak- 
ing a good uſe of the one, I will hope to 
deſerve the other; I with your Lordſhip 
all the health and happineſs in this world, 
for Iam 

Your Lordſhip's 
Moſt obliged and 
Moſt grateful Servant, 


L. STERNE. 


P. S. I am juſt fitting down to go on 
with Triſtram, &c.— the ſcribblers uſe 
me ill, but they have uſed my betters 
much worſe, for which may Go forgive 
them. g | 


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LETTERS. 


LETTER AI. 
TO THE REV. MR. STERNE. 


Prior-Park, June 15, 1760. 
REVEREND SIR, [> 


| I HAVE your favour of the gth inſtant, 


and am glad to underſtand, you are 
got ſafe home, and employed again in 
your proper ſtudies and amuſements. 
You have it 1n your power to make that, 
which is an amuſement to yourſelf and 
others, uſeful to both: at leaſt, you 
ſhould above all things, beware of its 
becoming hurtful to either, by any vio- 
lations of decency and good manners ; 
but I have already taken ſuch repeated 


liberties of adviſing you on that head, 


that to ſay more would be needleſs, or 
perhaps unacceptable. ' 


Whoever is, in any way, well received 


by the public, is ſure to be annoyed by 


that peſt of the public, profiigate ſcrib- 


blers. This is the common lot of ſuc- 


EE 37 
ceſsful adventurers; but ſuch have 
often a worſe evil to ſtruggle with, I 
mean the over-officiouſneſs of their in- 
diſcreet friends. There are two Odes * 
as they are called, printed by Dodfley. 
Whoever was the author, he appears to 
be a monſter of impiety and lewdneſs— 
yet, ſuch is the malignity of the ſcrib- 
blers, ſome have given them to your 
friend Hall; —and others, which is ſtill 
more impoſſible, to yourſelf ; though the 
firſt Ode has the inſolence to place you 
both in a mean and a ridiculous light. 
But this-might ariſe from a tale equally 
groundleſs and malignant, that you had 
ſhewn them to your acquaintances in 
MS. before they were given to the pub- 
lic, Nor was their being printed by 
Podſiey the likelieſt means of diſcredit- 
ing the calumny. 

About this time, another, under the 
maſk of friendſhip, pretended to draw 


* Intitled, . Two Lyric Epiſtles: One to my 
« Couſin Shandy, on his coming to Town; and 
e the other to the Grown Gentlewomen, the 
« Miſſes of .? ito, | 


5 
4 
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your character, which was ſince publiſh- 
ed in a Female Magazine (for dulneſs, 
who often has as great a hand as the de- 
vil, in deforming Gop's works of the 
creation, has made them, it ſeems, male 
and female), and from thence it was 
transferred into a Chronicle *, Pray 
have you read it, or do you know Its 
author? 

But of all theſe things, I dare ſay Mr. 
Garrick, whoſe prudence is equal to his 
honeſty or his talents, has re monſtrated 
to you with the freedom of a friend, 
He knows the inconſtancy of what is 
called the Public, towards all, even the 
beſt intentioned, of thoſe who contribute 
to its pleaſure or amuſement. He (as 
every man of honour and diſcretion 
would) has availed himſelf of the public 
favour, to regulate the taſte, and, in his 
proper ſtation, to reform the manners of 
the faſhionable world ;—while, by a well- 
Judged ceconomy, he has provided 
againſt the temptations of a mean and 


* The London Chronicle, May 6, 1760. 


LETTERS © 


ſervile dependency on the follies and 
vices of the great. | 

In a word, be aſſured, there is no one 
more ſincerely wiſhes your welfare and 
happineſs, than, 8 


Reverend Sir, 
W. G. 


L EFF EK Aa. 


TO MY WITTY WIDOW, MRS F=———, 


MADAM, Coxwould, 1 3 Wy 
W N a man's brains are as dry as 
ſqueez'd Orange, —and he feels = 
has no more conceit in him than a Mal- 
let, 'tis in vain to think of ſitting down, 
and writing a letter to a lady of your 
wit, unleſs in the honeſt John-Trot- 
Style of, yours of the 15th inſtant came 
ſafe to hand, Sc. which, by the bye, 
looks like a letter of buſineſs; and you 
know very well, from the firſt letter I 


D 4 


utes wits 255 nh , * « . S 


40 LA 


had the honour to write to you, I am a 
man of no buſineſs at all. This vile 
plight I found my genius in was the 
reaſon I have told Mr. „I would 
not write to you till the next poſt— 
hoping by that time to get ſome ſmall 
recruit, at leaſt of vivacity, if not wit, 
to ſet out with; but upon ſecond 
thoughts, thinking a bad letter in ſea- 
ſon—to be better than a good one out 
of it—this ſcraw] 1s the conſequence, 
which, if you will burn the moment 
you get it promiſe to ſend you a fine 
ſet eſſay in the ſtyle of your female epiſ- 
tolizers, cut and trim'd at all points.— 
Gop defend me from ſuch, who never 
yet knew what it was to ſay or write one 
premeditated word in my whole life— 
for this reaſon I ſend you this with pleaſure, 
becauſe wrote with the careleſs irregu- 
larity of an eaſy heart. Who told 
you, Garrick wrote the medley for Beard? 
—=*T was wrote in his houſe, however, 
and before I left town. I deny it 
J was not loſt two days before I left 


LETTHEES 2 
town.—_I was loſt all the time I was 
there, and never found till I got to this 
Shandy-caſtle of mine.—Next winter I 
intend to ſojourn amongſt you with more 
decorum, and will neither be loſt or found 
any where. | 

Now I wiſh to Gop, I was at your el- 
bow] have juſt finiſhed one volume of 
Shandy, and I want to read it to ſome 
one who I know can taſte and reliſh hu- 
mour—this by the way, 1s a little im- 
pudent in me for I take the thing for 
granted, which their high migktineſles 

the world have yet to determine — but I 
mean no ſuch thing—I could wiſh only 
to have your opinion—ſhall I, in truth, 
give you mine ?—JT dare not—but I 
will; provided you keep it to yourſelf 
know then, that I think there is more 
laughable humour, —with an equal degree 
of Cervantic ſatire—if not more than in 


the laſt but we are bad judges of the me- 


rit of our children. 
I return you a thouſand thanks for 
your friendly congratulations upon my 


bo rr age nor nt 


. 8 
— ” a 
* - 2 —— 


42 IL. ET IA 


habitation—and I will take care, you 
ſhall never wiſh me bur well, for I am, 
Madam, | | 
With great eſteem and truth, 

Your molt obliged, 


L. STERNE. 


P. S. I have wrote this ſo vilely and 
ſo precipitately, I fear you muſt carry it 
to a decypherer——I beg you'll do me 
the honour to write—otherwiſe you draw 


me in, inſtead of Mr. drawing yo 


into a ſcrape—tor I ſhould ſorrow to have 
a taſte of ſo agreeable a correſpondent— 
and uo more. 


Adieu. 


11 rr 43 


LETTER 2m 
TO — CC, ESQ. 


London, Chriſtmas Day, 1760. 
MY DEAR FRIEND, | 

I HAVE been in ſuch a continual hurry 
ſince the moment I arrived here— 
what with my books, and what with viſit- 
ors and viſitings, that it was not in 
my power ſooner to fit down and ac- 
knowledge the favour of your obliging 
letter; and to thank you for the moſt 
friendly motives which led you to write 
it: I am not much in pain upon what 
gives my kind friends at Stillington ſo 
much on the chapter of No/es— becauſe, 
as the principal fatire throughout that 
part 1s levelled at thoſe learned block- 
heads who, in all ages, have waſted 
their time and much learning upon 
points as fooliſh—it ſhifts off the idea 
of what you fear, to another point— 
and *tis thought here very good—'twill 
paſs muſter I mean not with all—no 


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1 LETTERS 
—no! I ſhall be attacked and pelted, 
either from cellars or garrets, write 
what I will- and beſides, muſt expect 
to have a party againſt me of many 
hundreds—who either do not—or will 
not laugh.—'Tis enough if I divide 
the world ;—at leaſt I will reſt content- 
ed with it,—I wiſh you was here to ſee 
what changes of looks and political rea- 
ſoning have taken place in every com- 
pany and coffee-houſe ſince laſt year; 
we ſhall be ſoon Pruſſians and Anti- 
Pruſſians, B=——s and Anti-B s, and 
thoſe diſtinctions will juſt do as well 
as Whig and Tory—and for ought I 
know ferve the ſame ends. The 
King ſeems reſolved to bring all things 
back to their original principles, and 
to ſtop the torrent of corruption and 
lazineſs.— He riſes every morning at fix 
to do buſineſs—rides out at eight to a 
- minute, returns at nine to give himſelf 
up to his people.—By perſiſting, tis 
thought he will oblige his Miniſters 
and dependants to diſpatch affairs with 
him many hours ſooner than of late 


1 1 45 


and 'tis much to be queſtion'd whether 


they will not be enabled to wait upon 
him ſooner by being freed from long 
levees of their own, and applications; 
which will in all likelihood be tranſ- 
ferr'd from them directly to himſelf— 
the preſent ſyſtem being to remove that 
phalanx of great people, which ſtood 
betwixt the throne and the ſubjects, and 
ſuffer them to have immediate acceſs 
without the intervention of a cabal 
(this is the language of others): how- 
ever, the King gives every thing him- 
ſelf, knows every thing, and weighs 
every thing maturely, and then is in- 
flexible - this puts old ſtagers off their 
game —how it will end we are all in the 
dark. | | 

Tis feared the war is quite over in 
Germany; never was known ſuch ha- 
voc amongſt troops -I was told yeſter- 
day by a Colonel from Germany, that 
out of two battalions of nine hundred 


men, to which he belonged, but ſeventy- 


one are left Prince Ferdinand has ſent 
word, tis ſaid, that he muſt have forty 


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46 LETTERS 
thouſand men directly to take the field 


—and with proviſions for them too, for 
he can but ſubſiſt them for a fortnight— _ 
I hope this will find you all got to York 
l beg my compliments to the amiable | 
Mrs. Croft, &c. &c. 

Tho! I purpoſed going firſt to Golden- 
Square, yet fate has thus long diſpoſed 
of me—ſo I have never been able to ſet 
a foot towards that quarter. 


I am, dear Sir, 
Your's affectionately, 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER XV, 


TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAR SIR, About Jan. 1761.] 
1 HAVE juſt time to acknowledge the 
favour of yours, but not to get the 
two prints you mention—which ſhall be 
| ſent you by next poſt -I have bought 
them, and lent them to Miſs Gilbert, 


L 1 T ri 47 


but will aſſuredly ſend for them and en- 
cloſe them to you: I will take care to 
get your pictures well copied, and at a 
moderate price. And if I can be of 
further uſe, I beſeech you to employ 
me; and from time to time will ſend 
you an account of whatever may be 
worth tranſmitting. The ſtream now 
| ſets in ſtrong againſt the German war. 
Loud complaints of —— 
making a trade of the war, 8&c. &c. 
much expected from Ld. Granby's evi- 
dence to theſe matters, who is expected 
every hour: — the King wins every day 
upon the people, ſhews himſelf much 
at the play (but at no opera), rides out 
with his brothers every morning, half 
an hour after ſeven, till nine—returns 
with them—ſpends an hour with them 
at breakfaſt and chat—and then fits 


down to buſineſs. I never dined at 


home once ſince I arrived—am fourteen 

_ dinners deep engaged juſt now, and 

fear matters will be worſe with me in 

that point than better. As to the 

main points in view, at which you hint 
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2 — — = — — —ͤ—ͤ— 2. —— — — : — — —— 
— ut — - : - — —-᷑—ę¼ ... ——. ͤ—— — — 
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n — — — — — — — ͥͤ 8 = LED — — — - — — 

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— — . - =_ — — — > — l - — 
— — — Ss I RY — — — ä — 


48 LETTERS. 


— all I can fay is, that I ſee my way, 
and unleſs Old Nick throws the dice— 
ſhall, in due time, come off winner. 


—Iiriſtram will be out the twentieth 


— there is a great rout made about him 
before he enters the ſtage—whether this 
will be of uſe or no, I can't ſay - ſome 


wits of the firſt magnitude here, both 


as to wit and ſtation, engage me ſucceſs 
— time mil ſhew— 
Adieu. 


LTT TER XV. 


TO THE SAME. 


DEAR SIR, [March 1761; ] 
__ I had the favour of your oblig- 
ing letter, nothing has happened, or 
been id one day, which has not been 


| contradicted the next; ſo having little 


certain to write, I have forebore writing 


at all, in hopes every day of ſomething 


worth filling up a letter. We had the 
greateſt expectations yeſterday that ever 
were raiſed of a pitched battle in the 


LETTER 49 
Houſe of Commons, wherein Mr. Pitr 
was to have entered and thrown down 
the gauntlet, in defence of the German 
war. There never was ſo full a houſe 
—the gallery full to the top—I was 
there all the day—when lo! a political 


fit of the gout ſeized the great combat- 


ant—he entered not the liſts—Beckford 
got up, and begged the houſe, as he 
ſaw not his right honourable friend 
there, to put off the debate—it could 
not be done; ſo Beckford roſe up, and 
made a moſt long, paſſionate, incohe- 
rent ſpeech, in defence of the Germa- 
nic war—but very ſevere upon the un- 
frugal manner it was carried on—in 
which he addreſſed himſelf principally 
to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, 
and laid him on terribly.——It ſeems the 
chancery of Hanover had laid out 
350, ooo pounds, on account, and 
brought in our treaſury debtor—and the 
grand debate was, for an honeſt exami- 
nation of the particulars of this extra- 
vagant account, and for vouchers to au- 
'VOL., IX, E 


50 | LETTERS. 


thenticate it.— Legge anſwered Beck- 
ford very rationally, and coolly. Lord 
N. ſpoke long—Sir F. Daſhwood 
maintained the German war was moſt 
pernicious - Mr. C , of Surry, ſpoke 
well againſt the account, with ſome 
others —L. Barrington at laſt got up, 
and ſpoke half an hour with great plain- 
neſs, and temper—explained a great 
many hidden ſprings relating to theſe 
accounts, in favour of the late King, 
and told two or three converſations 
which had paſſed between the King and 
himſelf, relative to theſe expences— 
which caſt great honour upon the King's 
character. This was with regard to the 
money the King had ſecretly furniſhed 
out of his pocket to leſſen the account 
of the Hanover-ſcore brought us to diſ- 
charge. 

Beckford and Barrington abuſed all 
who ſought for peace, and joined in the 
cry for it; and Beckford added, that 
the reaſons of wiſhing a peace now, 
were the ſame as the peace of Utrecht 


LETTERS. | G1 


that the people behind the curtain could 
not both maintain the war and their places 
too, ſo were for making another ſacrifice 
of the nation, to their own intereſts—Af- 
ter all—the cry for a peace is ſo general, 
that it will certainly end in one. Now for 
myſelf. ——— 
One half of the town abuſe my book 
as bitterly, as the other half cry it up 
to the ſkies—the beſt is, they abuſe and 


buy It, and at fuch a rate; that we are 


going on with a ſecond edition, as faſt as 
poſſible, 


. I am going down for a day or two 
with Mr. Spencer, to Wimbleton; on 
Wedneſday there is to be a grand aſſem- 
bly at Lady N——, I have enquired 
every where about Stephen's affair, and 
can hear nothing—My friend, Mr. 
Charles Townſhend, will be now ſecre- 
tary of war *—he bid me wiſh him joy 
of it, though not in poſſeſſion—I will 
aſk him—and depend, my moſt worthy 


* He was appointed Secretary at war the 24th 
of March 1761. 


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52 LETTERS 


friend, that you ſhall not be ignorant of 
what I learn from him Believe me ever, 
Ever, | 


Yours, | 
L. S. 
LET T XYVE 
TO THE SAME, 
MY DEAR SIR, IApril 1761. ] 


A STRAIN which I got in my wrift 
by a terrible fall, prevented my ac-_ 


knowledging the favour of your oblig- 


ing letter. I went yeſterday morning 
, Who is 
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bers of officers who have left their regi- 


LR TT 53 


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left riſking their lives. — In this attempt 
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our friend's caſe whilſt this cry is on 
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friend, that you ſhall not be ignorant of 
what I learn from him—Believe me ever, 


ever, 
Yours, 


LS 


LETTER NI. 


TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAR SIR, [April 1761. 


STRAIN Which I got in my wriſt 


by a terrible fall, prevented my ac- 
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ments in Germany, for the pleaſures of 
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how things go on in Germany, and ms 
what news ;—when they ſhould have =_ 

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ſelves—but the worſt part has been, ii | 

that many of them have left their bro- Þ 

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the fatigues of it, and have come with 1 

no end but to make friends, to be put il 9 

unfairly over the heads of thoſe who were | i 1 

left riſking their lives. — In this attempt 1 

there have been ſome but too ſucceſsful, _ 

which has juſtly raiſed ill- blood and 1 

complaints from the officers who ſtaid 1 

behind the upſhot has been, that they 1 

have every ſoul been ordered off, and 18 

woe be to him ('tis faid) who ſhall be a 

found liſtening! Now juſt to mention 0 1 

our friend's caſe whilſt this cry is on I 14 

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than good; but if you think otherwiſe, 1 1 
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84 LETTERS 
it to Mr. Townſhend, for to do more I 
am too inconſiderable a perſon to pre- 
tend to.— Tou made me and my friends 
here very merry with the accounts cur- 
rent at York, of my being forbid the 
court—but they do not conſider what a 
conſiderable perſon they make of me, 


when they, ſuppoſe either my going, 


my not going there, is a point that ever 
enters the King's head-—and for thoſe 
about him, I have the honour either to 
ſtand ſo perſonally well known to them, 
or to be ſo well repreſented by thoſe of 
the firſt rank, as to fear no accident of 
that kind. 

J thank Gop (B 's md) [ 
have never yet made a friend or con- 
nection I have forfeited, or done ought 
to forfeit—but, on the contrary, my true 
character is better underſtood, and where 
I had one friend laſt year, who did me 
honour, I have three now.—If my ene- 
mies knew, that by this rage of abuſe, 


and ill-will, they were effectually ſerv- 


ing the intereſts both of myſelf, and 


works, they would be more quiet but 


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LETTERS. 55 1 
it has been the fate of my betters, who bl 
have found, that the way to fame, is i 
like the way to heaven - through much ee 
tribulation—and till I ſhall have the 8 
honour to be as much mal-treated as | | 
Rabelais and Swift were, I muſt con- " (a 
tinue humble ;—for I have not filled up 1 
the meaſure of half their perſecutions. _ 

The court is turning topfy-turvy. Wi. 
Lord Bute, le premier — Lord Talbot, . ij k i 
to be groom of the chambersF in room i 1 
of the D. of R d— Lord Hallifax 1 
to Ireland 1—Sir F. Daſhwood in Tal- =. 
bot's place—Pitt ſeems unmoved—a | b 
peace inevitable—Stocks riſe—the peers 1 
this moment kiſſing hands, &c. &c. | 1 4 
(this week may be chriſtened the kiſs- vl 
hands week) for a hundred changes will 
happen in conſequence of theſe. Pray 


* Lord Bute was appointed Secretary of State 
: on the 25th of March 1761. | 
Þ + Lord Talbot was appointed Steward of the 
houſehold on the ſame day. 
i Lord Hallifax was appointed Lord Lieute- 
nant of Ireland on the zoth of March 1761. 


* 4 


8 LETTER $ 
preſent my compliments to Mrs. C. and 
all friends, and believe me, with the 
greateſt fidelity, | 

Your ever obliged 

L. STERNE. 


P. S. Is it not ſtrange that Lord Tal- 
bot ſhould have power to remove the 
Duke of R d:? 
Pray when you have read this, ſend 
the news to Mrs. Sterne. 


LETTER xvi 


1 Coxwould, July 28, 1761. 
1 SYMPATHISED for, or with you, on the 
detail you give me of your late agi- 
tations—and would willingly have taken 
my horſe, and trotted to the oracle to 
have enquired into the etymology of all 
your ſufferings, had I not been aſſured, 
that all that evacuation of bilious mat- 
3 


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tending it (both which are equal to a 
\ month's purgation and exerciſe) will 
have left you better than it found you 
—Need one go to D „to be told 
that all kind of mild (mark, I am go- 
ing to talk more fooliſhly than your 
apothecary), opening, ſaponacious, dir- 
ty-ſhirt, ſud-waſhing liquors are pro- 
per for you, and conſequently all ſtyp- 
tical potations, death and deſtruction 
if you had not ſhut up your gall-ducts 
by theſe, the glauber-falts could not 
have hurt—as it was, 'twas like a match 
to the gunpowder, by raiſing a freſh 
combuſtion, as all phyſic does at firſt, 
ſo that you have been let off—nitre, 
brimſtone, and charcoal (which is 
blackneſs itſelf), all at one blaſt—'twas 
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proof, will, I hope, do much ſervice in 
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taken, I quarrel with no one. There 


The Reverend Mr, R 8 


" LETTERS. 


was that coxcomb of —— in the 13 


who loſt temper with me for no reaſon 


upon earth but that I could not fall 
down and worſhip a brazen image of 
learning and eloquence, which he ſet 
up, to the perſecution of all true be- 
lievers—T ſat down upon his altar, and 
whiſtled in the time of his divine 


ſervice—and broke down his carved 


work, and kicked his incenſe pot to the 
D——, ſo he retreated, /ed non fine felle 
in corde ſuo.— I have wrote a clerum, 
whether I ſhall take my doctor's de- 
grees or no—I am much in doubt, but 
I trow not.—I go on with Triſtram — 
I have bought ſeven hundred books at a 
purchaſe dog cheap—and many good 
and I have been a week getting them ſet 
up in my beſt room here—why do not 
you tranſp 5 yours to town, but I talk 
like a fool. This will juſt catch you at 
your ſpaw— I wiſh you incolumem apud 
Londinum do you go there for good and 

all—or ill —1 am, dear couſin, 8 


Yours affectionately, 


L. STERNE. 


LE 59 


LETTER XVIII. 
TO THE SAME. 


Coxwould [about Auguſt], 1761. 
DEAR H—, | | | 
REJOICE you are in London—reſft 
you there in peace :—here *tis the 


devil.-You was a good prophet.—T wiſh 
myſelf back again, as you told me I 


ſhould - but not becauſe a thin, death- 


doing, peſtiferous, north-eaſt wind blows 


in a line directly from Crazy-caſtle tur- 
ret full upon me in this cuckoldy re- 


treat (for I value the north-eaſt wind 
and all its powers not a ſtraw),—but the 
tranſition from rapid motion to abſolute 
reſt was too violent.—-I ſhould have 
walked about the ſtreets of York ten 
days, as a proper medium to have paſſed 
through, before I entered upon my reſt. 


l ſtaid but a moment, and I have 


been here but a few, to ſatisfy me I have 
not managed my miſeries like a wiſe 


6 L E TT ERS. 


man—and if God, for my conſolation 
under them, had not poured forth the 
ſpirit of Shandeiſm into me, which will 
not ſuffer me to think two moments up- 
on any grave ſubject, I would elſe, juſt 
now le down and die—die——nd yer, 
in half an hour's time, I'Il lay a guinea, 
I ſhall be as merry as a monkey—and as 
miſchievous too, and forget it all—fo 
that this is but a copy of the preſent 
train running croſs my brain. And ſo 
you think this curſed ſtupid-—but that, 
my dear H., depends much upon the 
quota hora of your ſhabby clock, if the 
pointer of it is in any quarter between 
ten in the morning or four in the after- 
noon—l give it up or if the day is ob- 
ſcured by dark engendering clouds of 
either wet or dry weather, I am ſtill loſt 
but who knows but it may be five 
and the day as fine a day as ever ſhone 
upon the earth ſince the deſtruction of 
Sodom,—and peradventure your honour 
may have got a good hearty dinner to- 
day, and eat and drank your intellectu- 
als into a placiduliſh and a blanduliſh 


E 1 HRC 3 


amalgama— to bear nonfente, ſo much 

for that. 

Tiis as cold and churliſh juſt now, as 
(if God had not pleaſed it to be fo) it 

ought to have been in bleak December, 


and therefore I am glad you are where 


you are, and where (I repeat it again) I 
wiſh I was alſo—Curſe of poverty, and 
abſence from thoſe we love! —they are 
two great evils which embitter all things 
— and yet with the firſt I am not haunted 
much.—As to matrimony, I ſhould be a 
beaſt to rail at it, for my wife is eaſy—but 
the world 1s not—and had I ſtaid. from 
her a fecond longer, it would have been 


a burning ſhame —elſe ſhe declares her 


ſelf happier without me but not in an- 
ger is this declaration made but in pure 
ſober good- ſenſe, built on ſound experi- 
ence—ſhe hopes you will be able to 
ſtrike a bargain for me before this time 
twelvemonth, to lead a bear round Eu- 
rope: and from this hope from you, I 
verily believe it is, that you are ſo high 
in her favour at preſent—She ſwears you 
are a fellow of wit, though humorous ; 


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62 LETTERS. 


a funny, jolly ſoul, though ſomewhat 
ſpleneric ; and (bating the love of wo- 
men) as honeſt as gold how do you like 
the ſimile? — Oh, Lord! now are you 
going to Ranelagh to-night, and I am 
ſitting, ſorrowful as the prophet was, 
when the voice cried out to him and ſaid, 
« What doſt thou here, Elijah?“ — Tis 
well the ſpirit does not make the ſame at 
Coxwould—for unleſs for the few ſheep 
left me to take care of, in this wild- 
erneſs, I might as well, nay better, be 
at Mecca—When we find we can, by a 
ſhifting of places, run away from our- 
felves, what think you of a jaunt there, 
before we finally pay a viſit to the vale of 

Feboſaphat? —As ill a fame as we have, 
I rruſt I ſhall one day or other ſee you 
face to face—ſo tell the two colonels, if 

they love good company, to live right- 
eouſly and ſoberly, as you do, and then 
they will have no doubts or dangers 
within or without them—preſent my beſt 
and warmeſt wiſhes to them, and adviſe 
the eldeſt to prop up his ſpirits, and get 
a rich dowager before the concluſion of 


LEK TT II © 


che peace - hy will not the advice ſuit 
both, par nobile fratrum ® - 

To-morrow morning (if Heaven per- 
mit) I begin the fifth volume “ of Shandy 
— care not a curſe for the critics — III 
load my vehicle with what goods he 
ſends me, and they may take em off my 
hands, or let them alone—T am very 
valorous—and 'tis in proportion as we 
retire from the world, and ſee it in its 
true dimenſions, that we deſpiſe it no 
bad rant !—God above bleſs you! You 
Know I am 


Your affectionate Couſin, 


LAURENCE STERNE. 


What few remain of the Demoniacs, 


greet—and write me a letter, if you are 
able, as fooliſh as this. 


* Alluding to the firſt edition. 


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6. L'E'T TEES. 


if 

| LETTER MX 
[| TO LADY . 
| | Coxwould, Sept. 21, 1761. 
= - 1 RETURN to my new habitation, fully 
5 determined to write as hard as can be, 


li and thank you moſt cordially, my dear 
lady, for your letter of congratulation 
upon my Lord Fauconberg's having pre- 
ſented me with the curacy of this place 
—though your congratulation comes 
| ſomewhat of the lateſt, as I have been 
poſſeſſed of it ſome time. I hope I have 
been of ſome ſervice to his Lordſhip, 
and he has ſufficiently requited me.— 
*Tis ſeventy guineas a year in my poc- 
ket, though worth a hundred—but it 
obliges me to have a curate to officiate at 
Sutton and Stillington.—' Tis within a 
mile of his Lordſhip's ſeat and park. 
Tis a very agreeable ride out in the 
chaiſe I purchaſed. for my wife.—Lyd 
has a poney which ſhe delights in. — 
Whilſt they take theſe diverſions, I am 


REID Fa ON 4 ate date GE * 
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LR T 65 


ſcribbling away at my Triſtram. Theſe 
two volumes are, I think, the beſt. —I 
ſhall write as long as I live, tis, in fact, 
my hobby-horſe: and ſo much am I de- 
lighted with my uncle Toby's imaginary 
character, that I am become an enthuſi- 
aſt.— My Lydia helps to copy for me— 
and my wife knits, and liſtens as I read 
her chapters.—The coronation of his 
Majeſty (whom Gop preſerve !) has coſt 
me the value of an ox, which is to be 
| roaſted whole in the middle of the town, 

and my pariſhioners will, I ſuppoſe, be 
very merry upon the occaſion.—You 
will then be in town—and feaſt your eyes 
with a ſight, which 'tis to be hoped will 
not be in either of our powers to ſee 
'again—for in point of age we have about 
twenty years the ſtart of his Majeſty. 
And now, my dear friend, I muſt finiſh 
this—and with every wiſh for your hap- 
pineſs conclude myſelf your moſt ſincere 
well-wiſher and friend, 


L. STERNE. 


"Folk 1 - F 


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66 LETTER Ss. 


LETTER XX 


TO DAVID GARRICK, ESQ. 


MY DEAR FRIENDs Paris, Jane 31, 1762. 
HINK not, becauſe I have been a 
= fortnight in this metropolis without 
writing to you, that therefore I have not 
had you and Mrs. Garrick a hundred 
times in my head and heart heart! yes, 


yes, ſay you but I muſt not waſte pa- 


per in badinage this poſt, whatever I do 
the next. Well! here I am, my friend, 
as much improved in my health, for the 
time, as ever your friendſhip could wiſh, 


or at leaſt your faith give credit to—by 
the bye I am ſomewhat worſe in my in- 


tellectuals, for my head is turned round 
with what I ſee, and the unexpected ho- 
nours I have met with here. Triſtram 
was almoſt as much known here as in 
London, at leaſt among your men of 
condition and learning, and has got me 
introduced into ſo many circles ('tis 


3 
1 
> 


1 

r 

1 WA.” 
7 


n 


TL FTT ; 67 
comme à Londres). I have juſt now a 
fortnight's dinners and ſuppers upon my 
hands—My application to the Count de 
Choiſeul goes on ſwimmingly, for not 
only Mr. Pelletiere (who, by the bye, 
ſends ten thouſand civilities to you and 
Mrs. Garrick) has undertaken my af- 
fair, but the Count de Limbourgh—the 
Baron d'Holbach, has offered any ſecu- 
rity for the inoffenſiveneſs of my beha- 
5 viour in France —'tis more, you rogue 
5 than you will do- This Baron is one of 
the moſt learned noblemen here, the 
. great protector of wits, and the Scavans 
T | who are no wits—keeps open houſe three 
days a week—his houſe is now, as yours 
was to me, my own—he lives at great 
expence—'Twas an odd incident when TI 
was introduced to the Count de Biſſie, 
which I was at his defire—TI found him 
reading Triſtram—this grandee does me 
great honours, and gives me leave to go 
a private way through his apartments 
into the palais royal, to view the Duke 
of Orleans's collections, every day I have 
.time—I have been at the doctors of 
F 2 Ts 


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CER 
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68 LETTERS. 


Sorbonne I hope in a fortnight to break 
through, or rather from, the delights of 
this place, which, in the /favoir vivre, 
exceeds all the places, I believe, in this 


ſection of the globe 
I am going, when this letter 1s wrote, 
5 with Mr. Fox and Mr. Maccartny to 
Verfailles—the next morning I wait up- 
on Monſ. Titon, in company with Mr. 
Maccartny, who is known to him, to 
deliver your commands. —I have bought 
you the pamphlet upon theatrical, or 
rather tragical, declamation—I have 
bought another in verſe, worth reading, 
and you will receive them, with what I 
can pick up this week, by a ſervant of 
Mr. Hodges, whom he 1s _— back 
to England. 

J was laſt night with Mr. Fox to ſee 
Mademoiſelle Clairon, in Iphigene—ſhe 
is extremely great—would to God you 
had - one or two like her—what a luxury, 
to ſee you with one of ſuch powers in 
the ſame intereſting ſcene—but tis too 
-much—Ah! Preville ! thou art Mercury 
-himſelf—By virtue of taking a couple 


ff 


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9.2. 


LIT 69 


of boxes, we have beſpoke, this week, 
The Frenchman in London, in which Pre- 
ville is to ſend us home to ſupper, all 
happy—I mean about fifteen or ſixteen 
Engliſh of diſtinction, who are now here, 
and live well with each other. 

Jam under great obligations to Mr. 
Pitt, who has behaved in every reſpect 
to me like a man of good breeding, and 
good nature—In a poſt or two, I will 
write again Foley is an honeſt ſoul—I 

could write ſix volumes of what has 
paſſed comically in this great ſcene, 
ſince theſe laſt fourteen days - but more 
of this hereafter.— We are all going into 
mourning; nor you, nor Mrs. Garrick, 
would know me, if you met me in my 
remiſe—bleſs you both ! Service to Mrs. 
Denis. Adieu, adieu! 

ES 


3 


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LETTER XXI. 


TO LADY D 


London *, Feb. 1, 1762. 


ouR Ladyſhip's kind enquiries after 
my health are- indeed kind, and of 

a piece with the reſt of your character. 
Indeed I am very ill, having broke a 
veſſel in my lungs—hard writing in the 


ſummer, together with preaching, which 
J have not ſtrength for, is ever fatal to 
me—but I cannot avoid the latter yet, 
and the former is too pleaſurable. to be 
given up—I believe I ſhall try if the 


ſouth of France will not be of ſervice to 
me—his G. of Y. has moſt humanely 
given me the permiſſion for a year or 
two—[I ſhall ſet off with great hopes of 
its efficacy, and ſhall write to my wife 
and daughter to come ,and join me at 


Paris, elſe my ſtay could not be ſo long 


* 'This Letter, though dated from London, was 
evidently written at Paris. 


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* Le Fever's ſtory has beguiled your 
Ladyſhip of your tears,” and the thought 
of the acculing ſpirit flying up to 
heaven's chancery with the oath, you are 


kind enough to ſay is ſublime—my 


friend, Mr. Garrick, thinks ſo too, and I 
am moſt vain of his approbation—your 
Ladyſhip s opinion adds not a * to my 


vanity. 


I wiſh I had time to take a little ex- 
curſion to Bath, were it only to thank 


you for all the obliging things you ſay 


in your letter - but *tis impoſſible—ac- 
cept at leaſt my warmeſt thanks—If I 


could tempt my friend Mr. H. to 


come to France, I ſhould be truly hap- 


py—If I can be of any ſervice to you at 


Paris, command him who is, and ever 
will be, 


Your Ladyſhip's faithful 


L. STERNE. 


F 4 


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72 LETTERS. 


LETTER XXII. 
TO DAVID GARRICK, ESQ. 


DEAR GARRICK, Paris, March 19, 1762. 
T*. will be put into your hands by 

Dr. Shippen, a phyſician, who 
has been here ſome time with Miſs 
Poyntz, and is this moment ſetting off 
for your metropolis ; ſo I ſnatch the op- 
portunity of writing to you and my 
kind friend Mrs. Garrick.—-I ſee no- 
thing like her here, and yet I have been 
introduced to one half of their beſt 
Goddeſſes, and in a month more ſhall 
'be admitted to the ſhrines of the other 
half—but T neither worſhip—or fall 
(much) upon my knees before them; 
but, on the contrary, have converted 
many unto Shandeiſm—for be it known, 
I Shandy it away fifty times more than 
J was ever wont, talk more nonſenſe 
than ever you heard me talk in your 
days—and to all forts of people. Qui 
le diable eft cet homme 12—ſaid Choiſeul, 


LE TEAS 


| Vother day—ce Chevalier Shandy— 
_ You'll think me as vain as a devil, 
| was I to tell you the reſt of the dia- 

logue — whether the bearer knows it or 
no, I know not — Twill ſerve up 
after ſupper, in Southampton: ſtreet, 
amongſt other ſmall diſhes, after the 
fatigues of Richard the IIId-O God! 
they have nothing here, which gives 
the nerves ſo ſmart a blow, as thoſe 
great characters in the hands of Garrick ! 
but I forgot I am writing to the man 
himſelf——The devil take (as he will) 
theſe tranſports of enthuſiaſm ! Apro- 
pos—the whole City of Paris is Se- 
witch'd with the comic opera, and if 
it was not for the affair of the Jeſuits, 
which takes up one half of our talk, 
the comic opera would have it all—Irt 
is a tragical nuiſance in all companies 
as it is, and was it not for ſome ſudden 


ſtarts and daſhes—of Shandeiſm, which 


now and then either break the thread, 
or entangle it ſo, that the devil himſelf 
would be puzzled in winding it off—I 


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74 LETTERS. 


ſhould die a martyr—this by the way I 
never will 

I ſend you over ſome of theſe comic 
operas by the bearer, with the Sallon, 
a ſatire— The French comedy, I ſeldom 
viſit 1t—they act ſcarce any thing but 
tragedies —and the Clairon is great, and 


Madl Dumeſnil, in ſome places, ftill 


greater than her—yet I cannot bear 
preaching—I fancy I got a ſurfeit of it 
in my younger days.—There is a tra- 
gedy to be damn'd to- night peace be 
with it, and the gentle brain which 
made it! I have ten thouſand things to 
tell you I cannot write—1 do a thouſand 
things which cut no figure, but in the 
doing—and as in London, I have the 
honour of having done and ſaid a thou- 


ſand things I never did or dream'd of 


—and yet I dream abundantly—If the 
devil ſtood behind me in the ſhape of a 


courier, I could not write faſter than 1 


do, having five letters more to diſpatch 
by the fame Gentleman; he is going 
into another ſection of the globe, and 


LETTERS. 75 


when he has ſeen you, he will depart in 
peace. 

The Duke of Orleans has ſuffered 
my portrait to be added to the number 
of ſome odd men in his collection; and 
a gentleman who lives with him has 
taken it moſt expreſſively, at full length 
—] purpoſe to obtain an etching of it, 


and to ſend it you—your prayer for me 


of roſy health, is heard If I ſtay here 
for three or four months, I ſhall return 
more than reinſtated, My oe to Mrs. 
Garrick. 


J am, my dear Garrick, 
Your moſt humble Servant, 


L. STERNE. 


— — — 
„ . VR Pu. — eh 


1 


LETTER XXIII. 
TO THE SAME. 


Paris, April 10, 1762. 
MY DEAR GARRICKk, 

1 SNATCH the occafion of Mr. Wil- 
cox (the late Biſhop of Rocheſter's 
ſon) leaving this place for England, to 
write to you, and I incloſe it to Hall, 
who will put it into your hand, poſſibly 
behind the ſcenes. I hear no news of 
you, or your empire, I would have ſaid 
kingdom but here every thing is hyper- 
bolized—and if a woman is but ſimply 
pleaſed—'tis Fe ſuis charme—and if ſhe 
is charmed, tis nothing leſs than that 
ſhe is ravi-ſh'id—and when ravi-ſh'd 
(which may happen) there is nothing 
left for her but to fly to the other world 
for a metaphor, and ſwear, qu'elle ẽtoit 
tout extaſize—which mode of ſpeaking 


DET Oe Ne, VER OL PE LNE EE 4h TVET 
3 a Tr gens po ee gh 


| is, by the bye, here creeping into uſe, : 
l and there is ſcarce a woman who under- . 
1 ſtands the bon ton but is ſeven times in 2 
„ 8 . 


EI 


a day in downright extaſy that is, the 
devil's in herby a ſmall miſtake of one 
world for the e where 
am I got? | 

I have been theſe two days reading a 
tragedy, given me by a lady of talents 
to read, and conjecture if it would do 
for you—'Tis from the plan of Diderot, 
and poſſibly half a tranſlation of it.— 
The Natural Son, or the Triumph of 
Virtue, in five acts — It has too much 
ſentiment in it (at leaſt for me), the 
ſpeeches too long, and ſavour too much 
of preaching—this may be a ſecond rea- 
ſon, it is not to my taſte—'Tis all love, 
love, love, throughout, without much 
ſeparation in the character; ſo I fear it 
would not do for your ſtage, and perhaps 
for the very reaſons which recom- 
mend it to a French one.—After a vile 
ſuſpenſion of three weeks—we are be- 
ginning with our comedies and operas 
again —yours I hear - never flouriſhed 
more—here the comic actors were never 
ſo low—the tragedians hold up their 
heads—in all ſenſes. I have known one 


n 


little man ſupport the theatrical world, 
like a David Atlas, upon his ſhoulders, 
but Preville can't do half as much here, 
though Mad"* Clairon ſtands by him, 
and fets her back to his—ſhe is very 
great, however, and highly improved 
ſince you ſaw her—ſhe alſo ſupports her 
dignity at table, and has her public day 
every Thurſday, when ſhe gives 10 eat 


(as they ſay here) to all that are hungry 
and dry. 

'You are much talked of here, and 
much expected as ſoon as the peace will 
let you theſe two laſt days you have 
eee to engroſs the whole conver- 
ſation at two great houſes where I was 
at dinner Tis the greateſt problem in 
nature, in this meridian, that one and 
the ſame man ſhould poſſeſs ſuch tragic 

and comic powers, and in ſuch an equi- 

librio, as to divide the world for which of 
the two Nature intended him. | 

Crebillion has made a convention 
with me, which, if he 1s not too lazy, 
will be no bad per/fiftage—as foon as 1 
get to Toulouſe he has agreed to write 


LITT IIS. 79 


me an expoſtulatory letter upon the in- 
decorums of T. Shandy—which is to be 
anſwered by recrimination upon the li- 
berties in his own works theſe are to 
be printed together Crebillion againſt 
Sterne Sterne againſt Crebillion the 


copy to be ſold, and the money equally 


divided This is good Swiſs- policy. 

| I am recovered greatly, and if I 
could ſpend one whole winter at Tou- 
louſe, I ſhould be fortified, in my inner 
man, beyond all danger of relapſing. 
A fad aſthma my daughter has been 
martyr'd with theſe three winters, but 
moſtly this laſt, makes it, I fear, neceſ- 
ſary ſhe ſhould try the laſt remedy of a 
warmer and ſofter air, ſo I am going 
this week to Verſailles, to wait upon 
Count Choiſeul to ſolicit paſſports for 
them—If this ſyſtem takes place, they 
Join me here—and after a month's ſtay 
we all decamp for the ſouth of France 
—if not, I ſhall ſee you in June next. 
Mr. Fox, and Mr. Maccartriy, having 
left Paris, I live altogether in French 


families—I laugh till I cry, and in the 


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ſame tender moments cry till I laugh. 1 
Shandy it more than ever, and verily do 


believe, that by mere Shandeiſm, ſubli. 


mated by a laughter-loving people, I 
fence as much againſt infirmities, as I 
do by the benefit of air and climate. 
Adieu, dear Garrick ! preſent ten thou- 
ſand of my beſt reſpects and wiſhes to 
and for my friend Mrs. Garrick—had 
ſhe been laſt night upon the Tuilleries, 
ſhe would have annihilated a thouſand 
French goddeſſes, in one ſingle turn. 
I am, moſt truly, 
my dear friend, 


L. STERNE. 


L E T TER XXIV. 
TO MRS. $STERNE, YORK. 


MY DEAR, Paris, May 16th, 1762. 
1 is a thouſand to one that this reaches 
= you before you have ſet out—FHow- 
ever I take the chance—you will receive 
one wrote laſt night, the moment you 


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get to Mr. E. ond to wiſh you, joy of 
your arrival in town—to that letter 
which you will find in town, I have 
nothing to add that I can think on—for 
I have almoſt drain'd my brains dry 
upon the ſubject.— For Gop fake riſe 
early and gallop away in the cool—and 
always ſee that you have not forgot your 
baggage in changing poſt-chaiſes—— 
You will find good tea upon the road 


from York to Dover—only bring a_ 


little to carry you from Calais to Paris 
give the Cuſtom-Houſe Officers what 
I told you—at Calais give more, if you 
have much Scotch ſnuff—but as tobacco 
is good here, you had beſt bring a 
Scotch mill and make it yourſelf, that 
is, order your valet to manufacture it 
—'twill keep him out of miſchief.—I 
would adviſe you to take three days in 
coming up, for fear of heating your- 
ſelves—See that they do not give you a 
bad vehicle, when a better is in the 


yard, but you will look ſharp—drink 
imall Rheniſh to keep you cool (that 


is if you like it). Live well, and deny 
VOL, IX, G 


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yourſelves nothing your hearts wiſh, 
So GoD in heaven proſper and go along 


with you—kiſs my Lydia, and believe 
me both affectionately, 


Yours, 
L. STERNE. 


LETTER XXV. 


TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAR, Paris, May 31, 1762. 
T*HERE have no mails arrived here 
till this morning, for three poſts, 

ſo I expected with great impatience a 
letter from you and Lydia—and lo! it 
is arrived. You are as buſy as Throp's 
wife, and by the time you receive this, 
you will be buſier ſtill—I have exhauſt- 
ed all my ideas about your journey— 
and what is needful for you to do be- 
fore and during it—ſo I write only to 
tell you I am well—Mr. Colebrooks, 
the miniſter of Swiſſerland's ſecretary, 
I got this morning to write a letter for 


you to the governor of the Cuſtom- 


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LETTERS. 83 
Houſe-Office, at Calais — it ſhall be ſent 


you next poſt.— Tou muſt be cautious 


about Scotch ſnuff—take half a pound 
in your pocket, and make Lyd do the 
fame. *Tis well I bought you a chaiſe 
—there is no getting one in Paris now, 
but at an enormous price—for they are 


all ſent to the army, and ſuch a one as 
yours we have not been able to match 
for forty guineas, for a friend of mine 


who is going from hence to Italy the 
weather was never known to ſet in ſo 
hot, as it has done the latter end of 
this month, ſo he and his party are to 
get into his chaiſes by four in the morn- 
ing, and travel till nine —and not ſtir 
out again till fix but I hope this ſe- 
vere heat will abate by the time you 
come here—however, I beg of you once 
more to take ſpecial care of heating 
your blood in travelling, and come tout 
doucement, when you find the heat too 
much I ſhall look impatiently for in- 
telligence from you, and hope to hear 
all goes well; that you conquer all dif- 


ficulties, that you have received your 
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34 LETTERS. 

paſs-port, my picture, &c. Write and 
tell me ſomething of every thing. I 
long to ſee you both, you may be 
aflured, my dear wife and child, after ſo 
long a ſeparation and write me a 
line directly, that I may have all the 
notice you can give me, that I may 
have apartments ready and fit for you 
when you arrive. — For my own part I 
ſhall continue writing to you a fortnight 
longer—preſent my reſpects to all friends 
—you have bid Mr. C. get my viſita- 
tions at P. done for me, &c. &c. If 
any offers are made about the incloſure 
at Raſcal, they muſt be encloſed to me 
nothing that is fairly propoſed ſhall 
ſtand ſtill on my ſcore. Do all for the 
beſt, as He who guides all things will 


I hope do for us—1o heaven preſerve you 
both — believe me 


Your affectionate 


Love to | my Lydia -I have bought 
her a gold watch to preſent to her when 
ſhe comes, 


LIT 


LETTER XXVI. 


TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAR, Paris, June 7, 1762. 


I KEEP my promiſe and write to you 

again] am ſorry the bureau muſt 
be open'd for the deeds—but you will 
ſee it done—T imagine you are con- 
vinced of the neceſſity of bringing 


three hundred pounds in your pocket 


—if you conſider, Lydia muſt have two 
ſlight negligees—you will want a new 
gown or two—as for painted linens, buy 
them in town, they will be more admired 
becauſe Engliſh than French.— Mrs. 
H. writes me word that I am miſtaken 
about buying filk cheaper at Toulouſe 
than Paris, that ſhe adviſes you to buy 
what you want here—where they are 
very beautiful and cheap, as well as 
blonds, gauzes, &c.—Theſe I fay will 
all coſt you ſixty guineas—and you 
muſt have them—for in this country 
3 


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86 1 
nothing muſt be ſpared for the back 


and if you dine on an onion, and lie 
in a garret ſeven ſtories high, you muſt 
not betray it in your cloaths, according 
to which you are well or ill look'd on. 
When we are got to Toulouſe, we muſt 
begin to turn the penny, and we may 
(if you do not game much) live very 
cheap—I think that expreſſion will di- 
vert you—and now Gop knows I have 
Not a with but for your health, comfort, 
and fafe arrival here—write to me every 
other poſt, that I may know how you 
go on—you will be in raptures with 
your chariot—Mr. R. a gentleman of 


fortune, who is going to Italy, and has 


ſeen it, has offered me thirty guineas 
for my bargain.—-You will wonder all 


the way, how I am to find room in it 


for a third—to eaſe you of this wonder, 
tis by what the coachmakers here call 
a cave, which is a ſecond bottom 
added to that you ſet your feet upon, 
which lets the perſon (who ſits over- 
againſt you) down with his knees to 
your ancles, and by which you have FO 


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LETTHES * 


more room — and what is more, leſs heat, 
— becauſe his head does not intercept 
the fore-glaſs little or nothing Lyd 
and I will enjoy this by turns; ſome- 


times I ſhall take a bidet—(a little poſt 


horſe) and ſcamper before—at other 
times I ſhall ſit in freſco upon the arm- 
chair without doors, and one way or 
other will do very well. —I am under 
infinite obligations to Mr. Thornhill, 
for accommodating me thus, and fo 


genteelly, for 'tis like making a preſent 
of it.—Mr. T-—— will ſend you an order 


to receive it at Calais—and now, my 


dear girls, have I forgot any thing? 
| Adieu! adieu! 
Yours moſt affectionately, 
| L. STERNE. 


A week or ten days will enable you 
to ſee every thing—and ſo long you 
muſt 8 to reſt yur Domes. - 


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88 LET T . 


LETTER XXVIL 
TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAREST, Paris, June 14, 1762. | 
Hun G an opportunity of writing 

by a friend who is ſetting out this 
morning for London, I write again, in 
caſe the two laſt letters I have wrote this 
week to you ſhould be detained by con- 
trary winds at Calais—] have wrote to 
Mr. E——, by the ſame hand, to thank 
him for his kindneſs to you in the hand- 
ſomeſt manner I could and have told 
him, his good heart, and his wife's, 
have made them overlook the trouble of 
having you at his houſe, but that if he 
takes you apartments near him, they will 
have occaſion ſtill enough left ta ſhew 
their friendſhip to us—I have begged 
him to aſſiſt you, and ſtand by you as if 
he was in my place, with regard to the 
ſale of the Shandys—and then the copy- 
right—Mark to keep theſe things diſ- 
tinct in your head But Becket I have 


LEFT 89 


ever found to be a man of probity, and 
I dare ſay you will have very little trouble 
in finiſhing matters with him—and 1 
would rather wiſh you to treat with him 
than with another man — but whoever 
buys the fifth and ſixth volumes of 
Shandys, muſt have the nay-ſay of the 
ſeventh and eighth *.—I with, when you 
come here, in caſe the weather is too hot 
to travel, you could think it pleaſant to 
go to the Spa for four or ſix weeks, 
where we ſhould hve for half the money 
we ſhould ſpend at Paris—after that, we 
ſhould take the ſweeteſt ſeaſon of the 
vintage to go to the ſouth of France— 
but we will put our heads together, and 
you ſhall juſt do as you pleaſe in this, 
and in every thing which depends on me 
—for I am a being perfectly contented, 
when others are pleaſed—to bear and 
forbear will ever be my maxim—only I 
| fear the heats through a journey of five 
hundred miles for you, and my Lydia, 

more than for myſelf.— Do not forget 
the watch-chains—bring a couple for a 


* Alluding to the firſt edition. 


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go LETTERS. 
gentleman's watch likewiſe ; we ſhall lie 
under great obligations to the Abbe M., 
and muſt make him ſuch a ſmall ac- 
knowledgment; according to my way of 
flouriſhing, *twill be a preſent worth a 
kingdom to him—They have bad pins, 
and vile needles here—bring for your- 
ſelf, and ſome for preſents—as alſo a 
ſtrong bottle-ſkrew, for whatever Scrub 
we may hire as butler, coachman, &c. to 
uncork us our Frontiniac—You will find 
a letter for you at the Lyon D'Argent— 
Send for your chaiſe into the court-yard, 
and ſee all is right—Buy a chain, at Ca- 
lais, ftrong enough not to be cut off, 
and let your portmanteau be tied on the 
forepart of your chaiſe for fear of a dog's 
tricx - ſo God bleſs you both, and re- 
member me to my Lydia. 


I am yours affectionately, 


L. STERNE. 


LETTERS. 


LETTER XxXVAL 
TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAREST, Paris, June 17, 1762. 
er you will receive another 

letter with this, by the fame poſt—if 
ſo, read this the laſt—Tt will be the laft 
you can poſſibly receive at York, for I 
hope it will catch you juſt as you are 
upon the wing—if that ſhould happen, 
I fuppoſe: in courſe you have executed 
the contents of it, in all things which 
relate to pecuniary matters, and when 
theſe are ſettled to your mind, you will 
have got through your laſt difficulty 
every thing elſe will be a ſtep of plea- 
ſure, and by the time you have got half 
a dozen ſtages, you will ſet up your 


pipes and ſing Te Deum together, as 


you whiſk it along. —Defire Mr. C—— 

to ſend me a proper letter of attorney by 

you, he will receive it back by return of 

poſt. You have done every thing well 

with regard to our Sutton and Stillington 
3 


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affairs, and left things in the beſt chan- 
nel—if I was not ſure you muſt have 
long ſince got my picture, garnets, &c., 
I would write and ſcold Mr. T—— 


abominably — he put them in Becket's 


hands to be forwarded by the ſtage-coach 
to you, as ſoon as he got to town.—I 
long to hear from you, and that all my 
letters and things are come ſafe to you, 
and then you will ſay that I have not 


been a bad lad — for you will find I have 


been writing continually, as I wiſhed you 
to do—Bring your ſilver coffee-pot, 


2ewill ſerve both to give water, lemon- 


ade, and orjead—to fay nothing of cof- 
fee and chocolate, which, by the bye, 
is both cheap and good at Toulouſe, like 


other things —I had like to have forgot 


a moſt neceſſary thing, there are. no cop- 
per tea-kettles to be had in France, and 
we ſhall find ſuch a thing the moſt com- 
fortable utenſil in the houſe—buy a good 
ſtrong one, which will hold two quarts 
— 2 diſh of tea will be of comfort to us 
in our journey ſouth——-I have a bronze 
tea-pot, which we will carry alſo —as 


LETTERS. 93 


china cannot be brought over from Eng- 
land, we muſt make up a villanous par- 
ty-coloured tea equipage, to regale our- 
ſelves, and our Engliſh friends, whilſt 
we are at Toulouſe -I hope you have got 
your bill from Becket.— There is a good- 
natured kind of a trader I have juſt 


heard of, at Mr. Foley's, who they think 


will be coming off from England to 
France, with horſes, the latter end of 
June. He happened to come over with a 
lady, who is ſiſter to Mr. Foley's part- 
ner, and I have got her to write a letter 
ro him in London, this poſt, to beg he 
will ſeek you out at Mr. E 's, and, 
in caſe a cartel ſhip does not go off be- 
fore he goes, to take you under his care. 
He was infinitely friendly, in the ſame 
office, laſt year, to the lady who now 
writes to him, and nurſed her on ſhip- 
board, and defended her by land with 
great good-will.— Do not ſay I forget 
you, or whatever can be conducive to 
your eaſe of mind, in this journey—1 
wiſh I was with you, to do theſe affices 
myſelf, and to ſtrew roſes on your way 


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94 LETTERS. 


but I ſhall have time and occaſion to 
ſhew you I am not wanting—Now, my 
dears, once more pluck up your ſpirits 
—truſt in Gop—in me—and in your- 
ſelves with this, was you put to it, you 
would encounter all theſe difficulties ten 


times told Write inſtantly, and tell me 


you triumph over all fears; tell me Ly- 
dia is better, and a helpmate to you— 


You ſay ſhe grows like me—let her ſhew 


me ſhe does ſo in her contempt of fmall 
dangers, and fighting againſt the appre- 
henſions of them, which is better ſtill. 
As I will not have F.'s ſhare of the 


books, you will inform him fo—Give 


my love to Mr. Fothergill, and to thoſe 
true friends which Envy has ſpared me— 
and for the reſt, laiſſeꝝ paſſer—You will 
find: I ſpeak French tolerably—but I only 
with to be underſtood. You will ſoon 
ſpeak better; a month's play with a 
French Demoiſelle will make Lyd chat- 
ter like a magpye. Mrs. —— undet- 


| Nood not a word of it when ſhe got 


here, and writes me word ſhe begins to 
Prate apace—you will de the ſame in a 


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LET THURS Mi 
fortnight—Dear Beſs, I have a thouſand 
wiſhes, but have a hope for every one 
of them—you ſhall chant the ſame jubi- 
late, my dears, ſo Gop bleſs you. My 
duty to Lydia, which implies my love 
too. Adieu, believe me 


Your affectionate 
L. STERNE. 
Memorandum : Bring watch-chains, 


tea-kettle, knives, cookery-book, &c. 
You will ſmile at this laſt article - ſo 


adieu—At Dover, the Croſs Keys; at 


Calais, the Lyon D'Argent—the maſter, 
a Turk 1n grain. 
LETTE R XXIX. 


TO. LADY D. 


Paris, July 9, * 


| Ie not ht your ladyſhip the tri- 
fles you bid me purchaſe without a 


line. I am very well pleaſed with Paris 
—indeed I meet with ſo many civilities 


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95 ; LETTER 8. 


amongſt the people here, that I muſt 
ſing their praiſes—the French have a 
great deal of urbanity in their compoſi- 
tion, and to ſtay a little time amongſt 
them will be agreeable.—I ſplutter 
French ſo as to be underſtood—but I 
have had a droll adventure here in which 
my Latin was of ſome ſervice to me 
had hired a chaiſe and a horſe to go about 
feven miles into the country, but, Shan- 
dean-like, did not take notice that the 
horſe was almoſt dead when I took him 
— Before I got half-way, the poor ani- 
mal dropped down dead—1o I was forced 
to appear before the Police, and began 
to tell my ſtory in French, which was, 
that the poor beaſt had to do with a 
worſe beaſt than himſelf, namely his maſ- 
ter, who had driven him all the day be- 
fore (Jehu like), and that he had neither 
had corn, or hay, therefore I was not to 
pay for the horſe—but I might as well 
have whiſtled, as have ſpoke French, 
and I believe my Latin was equal to my 
uncle Toby's Lilabulero—being not un- 
derftood becauſe of its purity, but by 


e 
e 
. EY 


LET TCC 97 
dint of words I forced my judge to do 


me juſtice no common thing, by the 


way, in France. My wife and daughter 
are arrived the latter does nothing but 


| look out of the window, and complain 


of the torment of being frizled.—I wiſh 
ſhe may ever remain a child of nature 
I hate children of art. | 

I hope this will find your ladyſhip 
well—and that you will be kind enough 


to direct to me at Toulouſe, which place 


I ſhall ſet out for very ſoon, I am, with 
truth and ſincerity, 
Your Ladyſhip': $ 


 Moft faithful 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER XXX. 


TO MR. E. 


DEAR SIR, Paris, ] uly 12, 1762. 
h M wife and daughter arrived here 
ſafe and ſound on Thurſday, and 


are in high raptures with the ſpeed and 
VOL, IX, H 


pleaſantneſs of their z and parti- 
cularly of all they ſee and meet with 
here. But in their journey from York 
to Paris nothing has given them a more 
ſenſible and laſting pleaſure, than the 
marks of kindneſs they received from 
you and Mrs. E.— The friendſhip, good- 
will, and politeneſs of my two friends I 
never doubted to me, or mine, and J re- 
turn you both all a grateful man is ca- 
pable of, which is merely my thanks. 1 
have taken, however, the liberty of ſend- 

ing an Indian taffety, which Mrs. E. 
muſt do me the honour to wear for my 
wife's ſake, who would have got it made 
up, but that Mr. Stanhope, the Conſul 
of Algiers, who ſets off to-morrow 
morning for London, has been ſo kind 
(I mean his lady) as to take charge of 
it; and we had but juſt time to procure 
it: and had we miſſed that opportunity, 
as we ſhould have been obliged to have 
leſt it behind us at Paris, we knew not 
hen or how to get it to our friend.—l 
wiſh it had been better worth a para- 
graph. If there is any thing we Can 


L 99 


buy or procure for you here (intelli- 


gence included), you have a right to 
command me—for I am yours, with 
my wife and girl's kind love to you and 


Mrs. E. 


IL. AU. STERNE. 


LETTER XXX 


TO — KM — 8s—, ESQ. 
Toulouſe, Auguſt 12, 1762. 

MY DEAR H. | 8 | 
BY the time you have got to the end 
of this long letter, you will per- 


ceive that I have not been able to an- 


ſwer your laſt till now-—I have had the 
Intention of doing it almoſt as often as 
my prayers in my head -'tis thus we 
uſe our beſt friends What an infamous 
ſtory is that you have told me !—After 


ſome little remarks on it, the reſt of my 


letter will go on, like ſilk, #***—is 

a good-natured old caſy fool, and has 

been deceived by the moſt artful of her 
H 2 | 


3 { * n 
— Dok 
o 


ä — CER 
— I are 1 


100 LETTERS. 


' ſex, and the muſt have abundance of 


impudence and charlatanery, to have 


carried on ſuch a farce. I pity the old 
man for being taken in for ſo much mo- 
ney—a man of ſenſe I ſhould have 
laughed at—My wife ſaw her when in 
town, and ſhe had not the appearance of 
poverty; but when ſhe wants to melt 
####'s heart, ſhe puts her gold watch 
and diamond rings in her drawer.—But 
he might have been aware of her. I 
could not have been miſtaken in her 


Character—and 'tis odd ſhe ſhould talk 


of her wealth to one, and tell another 


the reverſe—ſo good night to her 
About a week or ten days before my 


wife arrived at Paris, I had the ſame ac- 
cident I had at Cambridge, of breaking 


a veſſel in my lungs. Ir happened in 


the night, and I bled the bed full, and 
finding in the morning I was likely to 


bleed to death, I ſent immediately for a 
ſurgeon to bleed me at both arms—this 
ſaved me, and, with lying ſpeechleſs 
three days, I recovered upon my back 
in bed; the breach healed, and, in a 


CCC 
r 1 n y 


E PORE oo ohio C 
Pw. ²˙ B 0A ODIN RN ER 
k 1 3 5 3 


LE ETC 101 


week after, I got out — This, with my 
weakneſs and hurrying about, made me 
think it high time to haſte to Toulouſe. — 
We have had four months of ſuch heats 
that the oldeſt Frenchman never remem- 
bers the like—'twas as hot as Nebuchad- 
nezzar's oven, and never has relaxed one 
| hour—in the height of this, twas our 
deſtiny (or rather deſtruction) to ſet out 
by way of Lyons, Montpellier, &c. to 
ſhorten, I trow, our ſufferings—Good 
God but 'tis over—and here I am in 
my own houſe, quite ſettled by M—'s 
aid, and good-natured offices, for which 
I owe him more than I can expreſs, or 
know how to pay at preſent—'Tis in 
the prettieſt ſituation in Toulouſe, with 
near two acres of garden—the houſe too 
good by half for us—well furniſhed, for 
which I pay thirty pounds a year. —I 
have got a good cook—my wife a de- 
cent femme de chambre, and a good look- 
ing /aquais—The Abbe has planned our 
expences, and {et us in ſuch a train, we 


cannot eaſily go wrong—though by the 


bye, the dl is ſeldom found ſleeping 
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102 LETTERS. 

under a hedge. Mr. Trotter dined with 
me the day before I left Paris I took 
care to fee all executed according to your 
directions - but Trotter, I dare fay, by 
this, has wrote to you—I made him 
happy beyond expreſſion with your Cra- 
zy Tales, and more ſo with its frontiſ- 
piece.— I am in ſpirits, writing a crazy 
chapter with my face turned towards 
thy turret— Tis now F with all warmer 


climates, countries, and every thing 


elſe, at ——, that feparates me from 
our pardenal ſeat—ce fera Iz on A 
Ma cendre—et ce ſerald on mon coufin vien- 
dra repondre les pleurs dues & notre amitie. 
I am taking aſſes milk three times a 
day, and cows milk as often long to 
ſee thy face again onee more Greet the 
Colonel kindly in my name, and thank 
him cordially from me for his many ci- 
vilities to Madame and Mademoifelle 
Shandy at York, who ſend all due ac- 
knowtedgments. The humour is over 
for France, and F renchmen, but that is 
fiot enough for your affectionate couſin, 
L.'S. 


L. E T FERR 103 


(A year will tire us all out, I trow) 
but thank Heaven the poſt brings me 
a letter from my Anthony! felicitate 
you upon what Meſſrs. the Reviewers 
allow you—they have too much judg- 
ment themſelves not to allow you what 
you are actually poſteſſed of, © talents, 
wit, and humour.” —Well, write on, 
my dear couſin, and be guided by thy 
own fancy.—-Oh ! how I envy, you all 
at Crazy Caſtle !—I could like to ſpend 
2 month with you—and ſhould return 


back again for the vintage.— I honour. 


the man that has given the world an 
idea of our parental ſeat— tis well done 
I look at it ten times a day with a 
quando te afpiciam ?— Now farewell 
remember me to my beloved Colonel 
 —egreet Panty moſt lovingly on my be- 

half, and if Mrs. C—— and Mus 
C——, Cc. are at G—, greet them 
likewiſe with a holy kiſs—So God ble 


you. 


H 4 


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104 LETTERS. 


LETTER XXXII. 


TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS. 


Toulouſe, Auguſt 14, 1762. 
MY DEAR FOLEY, | . 
1 many turnings (alias digreſ- 
ſions), to ſay nothing of downright 
overthrows, ſtops, and delays, we have 
arrived in three weeks at Toulouſe, 
and are now ſettled in our houſes with 
ſervants, &c. about us, and look as 
compoſed as if we had been here ſeven 
years —In our journey we ſuffered ſo 
much from the heats, it gives me pain 
to remember it -I never ſaw a cloud 
from Paris to Niſmes half as broad as a 
twenty-four ſols piece. Good God ! we 
were toaſted, roaſted, grill'd, ſtew'd and 
carbonaded on one fide or other all the 
way—and being all done enough (afſez 
cuits) in the day, we were eat up at 
night by bugs, and other unſwept out 
vermin, the legal inhabitants (if length 


LR TELL 105 
of poſſeſſion gives right) of every inn 
we lay at— Can you conceive a worſe 
accident than that in ſuch a Journey, 
in the hotteſt day and hour of it, four 
miles from either tree or ſhrub which could 
caſt a ſhade of the ſize of one of Eve's 
fig leaves—that we ſhould break a hind 
wheel into ten thouſand pieces, and be 
obliged in conſequence to fit five hours 
on a gravelly road, without one drop 
of water, or poſſibility of getting any— 
To mend the matter, my two poſtil- 
lions were two dough-hearted fools, and 
fell a crying Nothing was to be done! 
By heaven, quoth I, pulling off my 
coat and waiſtcoat, ſomething ſhall be 
done, for I'll thraſh you both within an 
inch of your lives—and then make you 
take each of you a horſe, and. ride like 
two devils to the next poſt for a cart to 
carry my baggage, and a wheel to carry 
ourſelves Our luggage weighed ten 
quintals—'twas the fair of Baucaire—all 
the world was going, or returning—we 
were aſk'd by every ſoul who paſs'd by 
us, if we were going to the fair of Bau- 


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caire No wonder, quoth I, we have 
goods enough ! vous avez raiſon, mes amis. 
Well! here we are after all, my dear 
friend—and moſt deliciouſly placed at 
the extremity of the town, in an excel- 
lent houſe well furniſh'd, and elegant 
beyond any thing I look'd for—'Tis 
built in the form of a hotel, with a 
pretty court towards the town—and be- 
hind, the beſt garden in Toulouſe, laid 
out in ſerpentine walks, and ſo. large, 
that the company m our quarter uſually 
come to walk there in the evenings, for 
which they have my conſent “ the 
more the merrier.'—The houſe con- 
fiſts of a good /alle. 2 manger above ſtairs 
joining to the very great /alle 2 compagnie 
as large as the Baron d' Holbach's; 
three handſome bed-chambers with dreſſ- 
ing rooms to them below ftairs two 
very good rooms for myſelf, one to ſtu- 
dy in, the other to ſee company.— I 
have moreover cellars round the court, 
and all other offices Of the fame land- 
lord J have bargained to have the uſe 
of a country-houſe which he has two 


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frre 107 
miles out of town, ſo that myſelf and 
all my family have nothing more b 
than to take our hats and remove from 
the one to the other My landlord is 
moreover to keep the gardens in order 
—and what do you think I am to pay 
for all this? neither more or leſs than 
thirty pounds a year—all things are 
cheap in proportion—ſo we ſhall live 
for very very little. dined yeſterday 
with Mr. H; he is moſt pleaſantly 
ſituated, and they are all well.—As for 
the books you have received for D——, 
the bookſeller was a fool not to ſend 
the bill along with them will write 
to him about it, —I wiſh you was with 
me for two months; it would cure you 
of all evils ghoſtly and bodily—but this 
like many other wiſhes both for you and 
myſelf, muſt have its completion elſe- 
where—Adieu, my kind friend, and be- 
lieve that I love you as much from in- 
clination as reaſon, for 


I am moſt truly yours, 


L. STERNE. 


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108 LETTER S. 

My wife and girl join in compli- 
ments to you—My beſt reſpects to my 
worthy Baron d'Holbach and all that ſo- 
ciety—Remember me to my friend Mr. 
Panchaud, 


LETTER XXXIIL. 
TO J— Ho 8—, ESQ. 


MY DEAR E. Toulouſe, Oct. 19, 1762, 


I RECEIVED your letter yeſterday—ſo it 
1 has been travelling from Crazy Caſ- 
tle to Toulouſe full eighteen days —If 
I had nothing to ſtop me I would en- 
gage to ſet out this morning, and knock 
at Crazy Caſtle gates in three days leſs 
time—by which time I ſhould find you 
and the Colonel, Panty, &c. all alone 
— the ſeaſon I moſt wiſh and like to be 
with you—T rejoice from my heart, 
down to my reins, that you have 
ſnatch'd ſo many happy and ſunſhiny 


days out of the hands of the blue devils 
If we live to meet and join our forces 


as heretofore, we will give theſe gentry 


4 & 
EE OO Re Ee AE I =_ 


LETTERS 109 


a drubbing—and turn them for ever 
out of their uſurped citadel-—ſome le- 


gions of them have been put to flight 
already by your operations this laſt cam- 
paign—and I hope to have a hand in 
diſperſing the remainder the firſt time 
my dear couſin ſets up his banners again 
under the ſquare tower But what art 


thou meditating with axes and hammers? 


<< ] know the pride and the naughtineſs 


, thy heart,” and thou loveſt the 


ſweet viſions of architraves, friezes and 
pediments with their tympanums, and 
thou haſt found out a pretence, 2 raiſon 
de cing cent livres fterling to be laid out 
in four years, &c. &c. (ſo as not to be 
felt, which is always added by the 
dl as a bait) to juſtify thyſelf unto 


thyſelf—It may be very wiſe to do this 


but *tis wiſer to keep one's money in 


one's pocket, whilſt there are wars with- 
out and rumours of wars within. St. | 


adviſes his diſciples to ſell both coat and 
waiſtcoat—and go rather without ſhirt 
or ſword, than leave no money in their 
ſcrip to go to Jeruſalem with Now 


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110 LET TER S. 


thoſe uatre ans conſecutifs, my dear An- 
thony, are the moſt precious morſels of 
thy life to come (in this world), and thou 


wilt do well to enjoy that morſel with- 


out cares, calculations, and curſes, and 


damns, and debts— for as ſure as ſtone 


is ſtone, and mortar is mortar, &c. 
*twill be one of the many works of thy 
repentance— But after all, if the Fates 
have decreed. it, as you and I have ſome 
time ſuppoſed it on account of your 


generoſity, that you are never to be a 
'monied man, the decree will be fulfilled 


whether you adorn your caſtle and line 


it with cedar, and paint it within ſide 


and without ſide with vermilion, or not 
—et cele ttant (having a bottle of Fron- 
tiniac and glaſs at my right hand) 1 


.drink, dear Anthony, to thy health and 


happineſs, and to the final aceemplifh- 


ments of all thy lunary and ſublunary 
projects. For ſix weeks together, after 
J wrote my aſt letter to you, my pro- 
gets were many ſtories higher, for I 


was all that time, as I thought, jour- 
neying on to the other world—T fell 


11 111 
ill of an epidemic vile fever which killed 
hundreds about me The phyſicians here 
are the erranteſt charlatans in Europe, 
or the moſt ignorant of all pretenfling 
fools— I withdrew what was left of me 
out of their hands, and recommended my 
affairs entirely to Dame Nature She 
(dear goddeſs) has ſaved me in fifty dif- 
ferent pinching bouts, and I begin to 
have a kind of enthuſiaſm now in her 


favour, and in my own, that one or 
two more eſcapes will make me believe 


1 ſhall leave you all at laft by tranſ- 
lation, and not by fair death. I am 


now ſtout and -fooliſh again as a happy 


man can wiſh to be—and am buſy play- 
ing the fool with my uncle Toby, whom 
I have got ſouſed over head and ears in 
love.—I have many hints and projects 
for other works; all will go on I truſt 
as I with in this matter. When I have 
reaped the benefit of this winter at Tou- 
louſe— I cannot ſee I have any thing 
more to do with lit; therefore after hav- 
ing gone with my wife and girl to Bag- 
nieres, I ſhall return from whence I came 

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Now my wife wants to ſtay another 
year to ſave money, and this oppoſition 
of wiſhes, though it will not be as ſour 
as lemon, yet 'twill not be as ſweet as 
ſugar-candy.-I wiſh T— would lead 
Sir Charles to Toulouſe ; 'tis as good as 
any town in the South of France—for 
my own part, tis not to my taſte—but I 
believe, the ground-work of my enuui is 
more to the eternal platitude of the 
French characters—little variety, no ori- 
ginality in it at all—than to any other 
cauſe—for they are very civil - but civi- 
lity itſelf, in that uniform, wearies and 
bodders one to death—If I do not 
mind, I ſhall grow moſt ſtupid and ſen- 
tentious—Miſs Shandy is hard at it with 
muſic, dancing, and French ſpeaking, 
in the laſt of which ſhe does d merveille, 
and ſpeaks it with an excellent ac- 
cent, conſidering ſhe practiſes within 
ſight of the Pyrenean Mountains. —If 
the ſnows will ſuffer me, .I propoſe to 
ſpend two or three months at Barege, 
.or Bagnieres, but my dear wife is 
againſt all ſchemes of additional ex- 


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LETTERS. 113 


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| pences—which wicked propenſity (tho' 
not of deſpotic power) yet I cannot ſuffer 
—tho' by the bye laudable enough— 
But ſhe may talk—I will do my own 
way, and ſhe will acquieſce without a 
word of debate on the ſubject.— Who 
can fay ſo much in praiſe of his wife? 
Few I trow.—-M—— is out of town vin- 
taging—ſo write to me, Monſieur Sterne, 
Zentilbomme Anglois — twill find me We 
are as much out of the road of all intel- 
ligence here as at the Cape of Good 
Hope — ſo write a long nonſenſical letter 
like this, now and then, to me —in which 
ſay nothing but what may be ſhewn, 
(tho? I love every paragraph and ſpirit- 
ed ſtroke of your pen, others might not) 
for you muſt know, a letter no ſooner 
arrives from England but curiofity 1s 
upon her knees to know the contents 


Adieu, dear H. believe me 
Your affectionate 


L.. STERNE. 


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114 n. 

us to ſit with whole pagells of wood 
lighted up to our noſes—'tis a dear ar- 
ticle but every thing elſe being ex- 
treme cheap, Madame keeps an excel- 
lent good houſe, with ſoupe, bonuilli, roti 
—8&c. &c. for two hundred and fifty 
pounds a year. 


LETTER XXXIV. 


TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS. 


Toulouſe, November 9, 1762. 

MY DEAR FOLEY, | 
1 had this week your letter on 
my table, and hope you will forgive 
my not anſwering it ſooner and even 
to-day I can but write you ten lines, 
being engaged at Mrs. M—'s. I would 
not omit one poſt more acknowledging 
the favour—In a few poſts I will write 
you a long one gratis, that is for love 
Thank you for having done what I 
deſired you—and for the future direct 
to me under cover at Monſieur Brouſle's 
— receive all letters through him 


LET TREES 115 


more punctual and ſooner than when 
left at the poſt-houſe 

H- s family greet you with mine 
—we are much together, and never for- 
get you—forget me not to the Baron 
and all the circle —nor to your domeſtic 
circle | 

I am got pretty well, and ſport much 
with my uncle Toby in the volume TI 
am now fabricating for the laughing 
part of the world—for the melancholy 
part of it, I have nothing but my pray- 
ers—ſo God help them.—I ſhall hear 
from you in a poſt or two at leaſt after 
you receive this—in the mean time, 
dear Foley, adieu, and believe no man 
wiſhes or eſteems you more than your 


L. STERNE. 


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LETTERS. 


LETTER XXXV. 
TO THE SAME. 


"Toulouſe, Wedneſday, Dec. 3, 1762- 
-ADRAR POLET; | | 
1 HAVE for this laſt fortnight every 
= poſt-day gone to Meſſrs. B— and 
ſons, in expectation of the pleaſure of a 
letter from you with the remittance I 
deſired you to ſend me here. When a 
man has no more than half a dozen 
guineas in his pocket—and a thouſand 
miles from home—and in a country, 
where he can as ſoon raiſe the d—], as 
a ſix livre piece to go to market with in 
caſe he has changed his laſt guinea— 
you will not envy my fituation—God 
bleſs you—remit me the balance due 
upon the receipt of this. — We are all 
at H—'s, practiſing a play we are to 
act here this Chriſtmas holidays—all the 
Dramatis Perſonæ are of the Engliſh, 
of which we have a happy ſociety living 
together like brothers and ſiſters—Your 


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banker here has juſt ſent me word the 
tea Mr. H. wrote for is to be deli- 
vered into my hands tis all one into 
whoſe hands the treaſure falls we ſhall 
pay Brouſſe for it the day we get it 
We join in our moſt friendly reſpects, 
and believe me, dear Foley, truly 
yours, | : 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER: XXXVk 
TO THE SAME. 


MY DEAR FOLEY, Toulouſe, Dec. 17, 1762. 
* poſt after I wrote laſt, I receiv- 
ed yours with the incloſed draught 
upon the receiver, for which I return 
you all thanks—T have received this 
day likewiſe the box and tea all ſafe and 
ſound—ſo we ſhall all of us be in our 
cups this Chriſtmas, and drink with- 
out fear or ſtint We begin to live 
extremely happy, and are all together 
every night—fiddling, laughing and 
= 13 | 


LETTERS.. 117 


ITE © -- - 
* 


118 LET TB K Ss | 
ſinging, and cracking jokes. You will 


ſcarce believe the news I tell you— 
There are a company of Engliſh ſtroll- 
ers arrived here, who are to act come- 
dies all the Chriſtmas, and are now 


buſy in making dreſſes, and preparing 


ſome of our beſt comedies—Your 


wonder will ceaſe, when I inform you 


theſe ſtrollers are your friends with the 
reſt of our ſociety, to whom I propoſed 
this ſcheme /oulagement—and I aſſure you 
we do well.-—-The next week, with a 


grand orcheſtra, we play the Buſy Body 


—and the Journey to London the week 
after; but I have ſome thoughts of 
adapting it to our ſituation and mak- 
ing it the Journey to Toulouſe, which, 
with the change of half a dozen ſcenes, 
may be eaſily done. — Thus, my dear F. 
for want of ſomething better we have 
recourſe to ourſelves, and ſtrike our the 
beſt amuſements we can from ſuch ma- 
terials —My kind love and friendſhip to 
all my true friends My ſervice to the 
reſt. H——'s family have juſt left me, 
having been this laſt week with us—, 


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L 11 119 


they will be with me all the holidays. — 
In ſummer we ſhall viſit them, and fo 
balance hoſpitalities. 
Adieu, 


Yours moſt truly, 


I —— — — 
SIA —— 
—_— 4 


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L. STERNE. 


LETTER XXXVII. 


TO THE SAME. 


PEAR FOLEY, Toulouſe, March 29, 1763. 


nv GH that's a miſtake! I mean 

= the date of the place, for I write 
at Mr. H—'s in the country, and have 
been there with my people all the week 
— How does Triſtram do?“ you ſay in 
yours to him faith but ſo ſo—the worſt 
of human maladies is poverty—though 
that is a ſecond lie—for poverty of ſpirit 
is worſe than poverty of purſe by ten 
_ thouſand per cent.—I incloſe you a re- 
medy for the one, a draught of a hun- 
dred and thirty pounds, for which J in- 

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ſiſt upon a reſcription by the very return 
—or I will ſend you and all your com- 
miſſaries to the d 1.— I do not hear 
they have taſted of one fleſhy banquet 
all this Lent—you will make an excellent 
grille, P— they can make nothing of 
him, but Souillon I mean my other two 
friends no ill—ſo ſhall ſend them a re- 
prieve as they acted out of neceſſity— 
not choice—My kind reſpects to Baron 
d'Holbach, and all his houſchold—Say 
all that's kind for me to my other friends 
—you know how much, dear F oley, I 
am yours, 


L. STERNE. 


1 have not five Louis to vapour with 
in this land of coxcombs— My wife's 


compliments. 


— — 
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LX TT I 121 


LETTER XxXxXVIII. 
TO THE SAME. 


DEAR FOLEY, Toulouſe, April 18, 1763. 
1 THANK you for your punctuality in 
ſending me the reſcription, and for 
your box by the courier, which came 


ſafe by laſt poſt. —I was not ſurpriſed 


much with your account of Lord #*#**# 
being obliged to give way—and for the 
reſt, all follows in courſe.—I ſuppoſe you 
will endeavour to fiſh and catch ſome- 
thing for yourſelf in theſe troubled wa- 
ters—at leaſt I wiſh you all a reaſonable 
man can wiſh for himſelf—which is wiſh- 
ing enough for you—all the reſt is in 
the brain—Mr. Woodhouſe (whom you 
know) is alſo here—he is a moſt amiable 
worthy man, and I have the pleaſure of 
having him much with me—in a ſhort 
time he proceeds to Italy. —The firſt 
week in June, I decamp like a patriarch 
with my whole houſehold, to pitch our 


6 1 


1 
14 


M 


122 LETTERS. 


tents for three months at the foot of the 


Pyrenean Hills at Bagnieres, where TI 
expect much health and much amuſe- 


ment from the concourſe of adventurers 


from all corners of the earth. — Mrs. 
ſets out, at the {ame time, 
for another part of the Pyrenean Hills, 


at Courtray—from whence to Italy 


This is the general plan of operation 
here — except that I have ſome thoughts 
of ſpending the winter at Florence, and 
croſſing over with my family to Leghorn 
by water —and in April of returning by 
way of Paris home —but this is a ſketch 
only, for in all things I am governed by 
circumſtances—ſo that what is fit to be 
done on Monday, may be very unwiſe 
on Saturday—On all days of the week, 
believe me yours, 


With unfeigned truth, 


L. STERNE. 


P. S. All compliments to my Pa- 


riſian friends. 


LITT 123 


LETTER ˖ ( 
TO THE SAME. 


Toulouſe, April 29, 1763. 


MY DEAR FOLEY, 
1 T poſt my agent wrote me word 
* he would ſend up from York a bill 
for fourſcore guineas, with orders to be 
paid into Mr. Selwin's hands for me. 
This he ſaid he would expedite immedi- 
ately, ſo 'tis poſſible you may have had 
advice of it—and 'tis poſſibie alſo the 
money may not be paid this fortnight ; 
therefore, as I ſet out for Bagnieres in 
that time, be ſo good as to give me cre- 
dit for the money for a few poſts or ſo, and 
ſend me either a reſcription for the mo- 
ney, or a draught for i1t—at the receipt 
of which, we ſhall decamp for ten or 
twelve weeks—You will receive twenty 
pounds more on my account, which fend 
alſo—So much for that—as for pleaſure 
—you have it all amongſt you at Paris 


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124 IL 

we have nothing here which deſerves the 
name — I ſhall ſcarce be tempted to ſo- 
journ another winter in Toulouſe — for I 
cannot ſay it ſuits my health as I hoped 
tis too moiſt—and I cannot keep 
clear of agues here—ſo that if I ſtay the 
next winter on this fide of the water 
*twill be either at Nice or Florence— 
and I ſhall return to England in April 
Wherever I am, believe me, dear 


Yours faithfully, 


L. STERNE. 


Madame and Mademoiſelle preſent 
their beſt compliments Remember me 
to all I regard, particularly Meſſrs. Pan- 
chaud, and the reſt of your houſehold. 


L 1 1 


LETTERE XL. 


. TO THE SAME. 


Toulouſe, May 21, 1763. 

1 TOOK the liberty, three weeks ago, 
to defire you would be ſo kind as to 
ſend me fourſcore pounds, having re- 
ceived a letter the ſame poſt from my 
agent, that he would order the money 
to be paid to your correſpondent in Lon- 
don in a fortnight.— It is ſome diſap- 
pointment to me that you have taken no 
notice of my letter, eſpecially as I told 
you we waited for the money before we 
ſet out for Bagnieres—and ſo little diſ- 


cruſt had I that ſuch a civility would be 


refuſed me, that we have actually had all 
our things packed up theſe eight days, 
in hourly expectation of receiving a let- 
ter.— Perhaps my good friend has waited 
till he heard the money was paid in Lon- 
don—but you might have truſted to my 
honour—that all the caſh in your iron 


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* LETTER S. 


box (and all the bankers in Europe put 
together) could not have tempted me to 
ſay the thing that is not.— I hope before 
this you will have received an account of 
the money being paid in London But 
it would have been taken kindly, if you 


had wrote me word you would tranſmit 


me the money when you had received it, 
but no ſooner; for Mr. R— of Mont- 
pellier, though I know him not, yet 
knows enough of me to have given me 
credit for a fortnight for ten times the 
ſum. 

I am, dear F—, your friend 


and hearty well-wiſher, 
| L. STERNE. 


4 ſaw the family of the H yeſ- 
terday, and aſked them if you was in 


the land of the living They ſaid yea— 


for they had juſt received a letter from 
you.— After all, I heartily forgive you— 
for you have done me a ſignal ſervice in 
mortifying me, and it is this, I am de- 


_ termined to grow rich upon it. 


| LETTERS MM 
Adieu, and God fend you wealth and 
happineſs—All compliments to —. Before 
April next I am obliged to reviſit your 
metropolis in my way to England. 


LET#F ER ak 
TO THE SAME. 


Toulouſe, June 9, 1763. 

MY DEAR FOLEY, 
I THIS moment received yours—con- 
ſequently the moment I got it I fat 


down to anſwer it—So much for a logical 


inference. 
Now believe me I had never wrote 


you ſo teſty a letter, had I not both 


loved and eſteemed you—and it was 
merely in vindication of the rights of 
friendſhip that J wrote in a way as if I 


was hurt—for neglect me in your heart, 


I knew you could not, without cauſe ; 
which my heart told me I never had—or 
will ever give you: ] was the beſt 
friends with you that ever I was in my 


life, before my letter had got a league, 


3 


128 L EHT ENS. 


and pleaded the true excuſe for my 
friend, That he was oppreſſed with a 
multitude of buſineſs.” Go on, my 
dear F., and have but that excuſe (fo 
much do I regard your intereſt), that 1 


would be content to ſuffer a real evil 


without future murmuring—but. in truth, 
my diſappointment . was partly chimer1- 
cal at the bottom, having a letter of 
credit for two hundred pounds from a 
perſon I never ſaw, by me—but which, 
out of a nicety of temper, I would not 
make any uſe of—I ſet out in two days 
for Bagnieres, but direct to me to 
Brouſſe, who will forward all my letters. 
Dear F—, adieu.—Believe me 


Yours affectionately, 


L. STERNE. 


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LETTER Ss. 129 


LETTER An. 
TO THE SAME. 


DEAR FOLEY), Toulouſe, June 12, 1763. 


into my chaiſe for Bagnieres, has a 


ſtrayed fifty pound bill found its way to 


me ; ſo I have ſent it to its lawful owner 
incloſed—My noodle of an agent, in- 
ſtead of getting Mr. Selwin to adviſe 
you he had received the money (which 
would have been enough), has got a bill 
for it, and ſent it rambling to the fur- 


theſt part of France after me; and if it 


had not caught me juſt now, it might 


have followed me into Spain, for I ſhall 


croſs the Pyreneans, and ſpend a week 
in that kingdom, which is enough for a 
fertile brain to write a volume upon.— 


When I write the hiſtory of my travels 
— Memorandum! I am not to forget 


how honeſt a man I have for a banker at 
Paris.—But, my dear friend, when you 
Or ol TO 


L UCKILY juſt before I was ſtepping 


— e — hence E <=" oe RY 


— : 
C__— 


—— — 


— 


—Uä—ũ — 


130 LETTER S. 


ſay you dare truſt me for what little 

occaſions I may have, you have as much 
faith as honeſty and more of both than 
of good policy. I thank you however ten 
thouſand times - and except ſuch liberty as 
I have lately taken with you and that 
too at a pinch—I ſay beyond that I will 
not treſpaſs upon your good- nature, or 
friendlineſs, to ſerve me. Go bleſs you, 
dear * —. 


— - IE RR 
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| I am yours whilſt 


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LETTER XLIII. 


FF 


TO THE SAME. 


DEAR FOLEY, Montpellier, Oct. 5, 1763. 
F M. aſhamed I have not taken an 
| opportunity of thanking you before 
1 now, for your friendly act of civility, in 


"i . 5 | | Ds 
4 ordering Brouſſe, your correſpondent at 


| | Toulouſe, in caſe I ſhould have occaſion, 
A | to pay me fifteen hundred livres - which, 
114 . 

l as I knew the offer came from your 


1 
„ 
| qi. 


LE 131 


heart, I made no difficulty of accepting. 
—[In my way through Toulouſe to Mar- 
ſeilles, where we have been, but neither 
liking the place nor Aix (particularly 
the latter, it being a parliament town, of 
which Toulouſe has given me a ſurfeit), 
we have returned here, where we ſhall 
reſide the winter My wife and daughter 


purpoſe to ſtay a year at leaſt behind me, 


and when winter 1s over, to return to 
Toulouſe, or go to Montauban, where 
they will ſtay till they return, or I fetch 
_ them—For myſelf, I ſhall ſet out in 
February for England, where my heart 
has been fled theſe ſix months—but I 
ſhall ſtay a fortnight with my friends at 
Paris ; though I verily believe, if it was 
not for the pleaſure of ſeeing and chat- 
tering with you, I ſhould paſs on direct- 
ly to Bruſſels, and ſo on to Rotterdam, 
for the ſake of ſeeing Holland, and em- 
bark from thence to London—But 1 
muſt ſtay a little with thoſe I love and 
have ſo many reaſons to regard—you 
cannot place too much of this to your 
own ſcore, I have had an offer of going 


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132 LETTERS. 


to Italy a fortnight. ago—but I muſt like 
my ſubje& as well as the terms, neither 
of which were to my mind.—Pray what 


— 


Engliſh have you at Paris? where is my 


young friend Mr. F—-? We hear of 
three or four Engliſh families coming to 
us here—lIf I can be ſerviceable to any 


you would ſerve, you have but to write. 


—Mr. H has ſent my friend W—'s 
picture—You have ſeen the original, or 
I would have ſent it you l believe I ſhall 
beg leave to get a copy of my own from 
yours, when I come in propria perſona 
till when, God bleſs you, my dear friend, 
and believe me 


Moſt faithfully yours, 
L. STERNE. 


LETTERS. 


LETTER XLIV. 
TO THE SAME. 


Manatee, Jan. . 12 


MY DEAR FRIEND, 


ou ſee I cannot paſs over the fifth of 


the month without thinking of you, 
and writing to you— The laſt is a peri- 
odical habit the firſt is from my heart, 


and I do it oftner than I remember 
however, from both motives together 1 


maintain I have a right to the pleaſure 
of a ſingle line be it only to tell me 
how your watch goes—You know how 
much happier it would make me to know 
that all things belonging to you went on 
well. — Lou are going to have them all 
to yourſelf (I hear), and that Mr. S- 
is true to his firſt intention of leaving 
buſineſs hope this will enable you to 
accompliſh yours in a ſhorter time, that 
you may get to your long-wiſhed for re- 
treat of tranquillity and ſilence— When 


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I 
you have got to your fireſide, and into 
you arm-chair (and, by the bye, have 
another to ſpare for a friend), and are ſo 
much a ſovereign, as to ſit in your furred 
cap, if you like it, though I ſhould not 
(for a man's ideas are at leaſt the cleaner 
for being dreſſed decently), why then it 
will be a miracle if I do not glide in like 
a ghoſt upon you—and in a very unghoſt- 
like faſhion help you off with a bottle of 
your beſt wine. 


January 15.— It does not happen every 
day that a letter begun in the moſt per- 
fe& health, ſhould be concluded in the 
greateſt weakneſs— 1 wiſh the vulgar 
high and low do not ſay it was a judg- 
ment upon me, for taking all this liberty 
with ghoſts —Be it as it may—I took 
a ride, when the firſt part of this was 
wrote, towards Perenas—and returned 
home in a ſhivering fit, though I ought 
to have been in a fever, for I had tired 
my beaſt ; and he was as unmoveable as 
Don Quixotte's wooden horſe, and my 
arm was half diſlocated in whipping him 


LETTRAS 


— This, quoth I, is inhuman— No, ſays 
a peaſant on foot behind me, I'll drive 
him home —ſo he laid on his poſteriors, 
but 'twas needleſs—as his face was turn- 
ed towards Montpellier, he began to 
trot.— But to return, this fever has con- 
fined me ten days in my bed—] have 
ſuffered in this ſcuffle with death terribly 
| —but unleſs the ſpirit of prophecy de- 
ceive me ſhall not die but live—in 
the mean time, dear F. let us live as mer- 
rily, but as innocently as we can—[t has 


ever been as good, if not better, than a 


biſhoprick to me—and 7 defire no other 
Adieu, my dear friend, and believe me 
yours, 

E I 


Pleaſe to give the incloſed to Mr. 
 T—, and tell him I thank him cordially 


from my heart for his great gocd-will. 


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LETTER XIV. 


- TO THE SAME. 


Montpellier, Jan. 20 [1764], 
MY DEAR FRIEND, | 

| = Lo. NG by Lord Rochford (who 
in paſſing thro” here in his way to 
Madrid has given me a call), that my 
worthy friend Mr. Fox was now at 
Paris—T have incloſed a letter to him, 
which you will preſent in courſe, or di- 
rect to him. I ſuppoſe you are full of 
Engliſh—but in ſhort we are here as if 


in another world, where unleſs ſome 
ſtray d ſoul arrives, we know nothing 


of what is going on in yours Lord 
6— r! ſuppoſe is gone from P aris, 
or I had wrote alſo to him. I know 
you are as buſy as a bee, and have few 
moments to yourſelf—nevertheleſs be- 
ſtow one of them upon an old friend, 


and write me a line—and if Mr. F. 1s 


too idle, and has ought to ſay to me, 


LITT 137 


pray write a ſecond line for him We 
had a letter from Miſs P this week, 
who it ſeems has decamp'd for ever 
from Paris All is for the beſt. which is 
my general reflection upon many things 
in this world — Well! I ſhall ſhortly 
come and ſhake you by the hand in St. 
Sauveur—if ſtill you are there. My 


wife returns to Toulouſe, and purpoſes 


to ſpend the ſummer at Bagnteres—T 
on the contrary go and viſit my wife, 
the church in Vorkſhire.— We all live 
the longer—at leaſt the happier, for 
having things our own way.—This 1s 
my conjugal maxim own tis not the 
beſt of maxims—but I maintain tis 
not the worſt. Adieu, dear F — and 
believe me 


Yours with truth, 


L. STERNE. 


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138 LIT 


LETTER XLVI. 
10 MRS. F. 


Montpellier, Feb. I, 1764. 


1 AM preparing, my dear Mrs. F. to 

leave France, for I am heartily tired 
of it That inſipidity there is in French 
characters has diſguſted your friend Vo- 
rick.—I have been dangerouſly ill, and 
cannot think that the ſharp air of Mont- 
pellier has been of ſervice to me and 
ſo my phyſicians told me when they had 


me under their hands for above a month 


—if you ſtay any longer here, Sir, it 
will be fatal to you—And why, good 


people, were you not kind enough to 


tell me this ſooner ? After having diſ- 
charged them, I told Mrs. Sterne that 
I ſhould ſet out for England very ſoon ; 


but as ſhe chuſes to remain in France 


for two or three years, I have no objec- 


tion, except that I wiſh my girl in Eng- 


land.— The ſtates of Languedoc are 
met—'tis a fine raree-ſhew, with the 


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LETTEES 139 
uſual accompaniments of fiddles, bears, 
and puppet-ſhews.— J believe I ſhall 
ſtep into my poſt-chaiſe with more ala- 
crity to fly from theſe ſights, than a 


Frenchman would to fly to them—and 


except a tear at parting with my little 
ſlut, I ſhall be in high ſpirits ; and every 
ſtep I'take that brings me nearer Eng- 
land, will I think help to ſet this poor 
frame to rights. Now pray write to' me, 


directed to Mr. F. at Paris, and tell me, 
what I am to bring you over. How do 
I long to greet all my friends! few do 1 


value more than yourſelf, —My wife 


chuſes to go to Montauban, rather than 
ſtay here, in which I am truly paſſive. 
II this ſhould not find you at Bath, 


I hope it will be forwarded to you, as 
I wiſh to fulfil your commiſſions—and 
ſo adieu—Accept every warm wiſh for 
your health, and believe me ever yours, 


L. STERNE, 


P. S. My phyſicians have almoſt poi- 
ſoned me with what they call Souillons 
refraichiſſants — tis a cock flayed alive and 


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boiled with poppy ſeeds, then pounded 


in a mortar, afterwards paſs'd thro' a 


ſie ve There is to be one crawfiſh in it, 
and J was gravely told it muſt be a male 
one —a female would do me more hurt 
than good. | | 


LETTER XLVII. 
T0 MISS STERNE. 


MY DEAR LYDIA, Paris, May 15, 1764- 

y this time I ſuppoſe your mother 
and ſelf are fixed at Montauban, 
and I therefore direct to your banker, to 
be delivered to you. -I acquieſced in 
your ſtaying in France—likewiſe it was 
your mother's wiſh—but I muſt tell you 
both (that unleſs your health had not 
been a plea made uſe of) I ſhould have 
wiſhed you both to return with me.— 
J have ſent you the Spectators, and 
other books, particularly Metaſtaſio ; 
but I beg my girl to read the former, 
and only make the latter her amuſe- 
ment. I hope you have not forgot my 


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LD E T T E R 8. 14· 
laſt requeſt, to make no friendſhips with 


the French women —not that I think 


Hl of them all, but ſometimes women 
of the beſt principles are the moſt infi- 
nuating—nay I am ſo jealous of you, 
that I ſhould be miſerable were I to ſee 
you had the leaſt grain of coquetry in 
your compoſition. —Y ou have enough to 
do—for I have. alſo ſent you a guittar 
—and as you have no genius for draw- 


ing (tho' you never could be made to 


believe it), pray waſte not your time 
about it—Remember to write to me as 
to a friend—in ſhort, whatever comes 
into your litcle head, and then it will be 
natural.—-If your mother's rheumatiſm 
continues, and ſhe chooſes to go to Bag- 
nieres, tell her not to be ſtopped for 


want of money, for my purſe ſhall be 
as open as my heart. I have preached 


at the Ambaſſador's chapel—Hezekiah * 
—(an odd ſubject your mother will ſay) 
There was a concourſe of all nations, and 


religions too.— 1 ſhall leave Paris in 2 


* See Vol. vu. Page 35. 


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few days I am lodged in the ſame ho- 
tel with Mr. T; they are good and 
generous ſouls— Tell your mother that 
I hope ſhe will write to me, and that 
when ſhe does ſo, I may allo receive a 
letter from my Lydia. 


Kiſs your mother from me, and be · 
lieve me 5 


Your affectionate 


I. STERNE. 


L E T TE R XLVIII. 


TO MR. FOLEY. 


| MY DEAR FOLEY, York, Auguſt 6, 1764. 
_ is a young lady with whom 

I have ſent a letter to you, who 
will arrive at Paris in her way to Italy 
—her name is Miſs Tuting; a lady 
known and loved by the whole kingdom 
— if you can be of any aid to her in your 
advice, &c, as to her journey, &c. 
your good nature and politeneſs I am 
ſure need no ſpur from me to do it, 1 


LETTERS. . 


was ſorry we were like the two buckets 
of a well, whilſt in London, for we 
were never able to be both reſident to- 
gether the month I continued in and 


about the environs. If I get a cough 
this winter which holds me three days, 


you will certainly ſee me at Paris the 


week following, for now I abandon 
every thing in this world to health and 


to my friends—for the laſt ſermon that 


I ſhall ever preach, was preach'd at 
Paris—ſo I am altogether an idle man, 
or rather a free one, which is better. 
I ſent, laſt poſt, twenty pounds to Mrs. 
Sterne, which makes a hundred pounds 
remitted ſince I got here.—You muſt 
pay yourſelf what I owe you out of it 
—and place the reſt to account.—Be- 
twixt this and Lady-day next, Mrs. 
Sterne will draw from time to time upon 
you to about the amount of a hundred 
louis but not more—(I think) I hav- 
ing left her a hundred in her pocket. 
—But you ſhall always have money 
beforehand of mine — and ſhe purpoſes 


to ſpend no further than five thouſand 


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144 LETTERS 

livres in the year—but twenty pounds 
this way or. that, makes no difference 
Give my kindeſt com- 
pliments to Mr. P——, TI have a thou- 
ſand things to ſay to you, and would go 
half way to Paris to tell them you 
in your ear. — The Meſſrs. T ; 
H „ &c. and many more of your 
friends with whom I am now, ſend their 
ſervices—Mine to all friends— Yours, 


dear F .z molt truly, 


LETTER XLIX. 
TO J— H=— 8—, ESQ. 


| | September 4» 1764. 
ow, my dear, dear Anthony—I do 
not think a week or ten days play- 


ing the good fellow (at this very time) 
at Scarborough ſo abominable a thing 
but if a man could get there cleverly, 
and every ſoul in his houſe in the mind 
to try what could be done in: furtherance 


EET REC 145 


thereof, I have no one to conſult in 
this affair—therefore as a man may do 
worſe things, the Engliſh of all which 
is this, that I am going to leave a few 
poor ſheep here in the wilderneſs for 
fourteen days—and from pride and 
naughtineſs of heart to go ſee what is 
doing at Scarborough—ſtedfaſtly mean- 
Ing afterwards to lead a new life and 
ſtrengthen my faith.—Now ſome folk 
ſay there is much company there — and 
ſome ſay not—and I believe there is nei- 
ther the one or the other—but will be 
both, if the world will have but a 
month's patience or ſo. No, my. dear 
H „ I did not delay ſending your 
letter directly to the poſt. - As there 
are critical times, or rather turns and 
_ revolutions in *#** humours, I knew 
not what the delay of an hour might 
hazard--I will anſwer for him, he has 
ſeventy times ſeven forgiven you—and 
as often wiſh'd you at the d=].—After 
many oſcillations the pendulum will reſt 
firm as ever. N 

vol. Ix. . 


146 LETTRES 


I ſend all kind compliments to Sir C. 
D and G—s. I love them from 
my ſoul.— If G——t is with you, him 
alſo.— 1 go on, not rapidly, but well 
enough with my uncle Toby's amours 
here is no fitting, and cudgelling 
one's brains whilſt the ſun ſhines bright 
—'twill be all over in ſix or ſeven 
weeks, and there are diſmal months 
enow after to endure ſuffocation by a 
brimſtone fire-ſide.— If you can get to 
Scarborough do. -A man who makes 
ſix tons of alum a week, may do any 
thing Lord Granby is to be there 
what a temptation |! 


Yours affectionately, 


L. STERNE. 


L ET TER S. 147 


LETTER  L 
TO THE SAME. 


Coxwould—Thurſday. [Sept. 1764. 


MY DEAR COUSIN, 
I AM but this moment returned from 

Scarborough, where I have been 
drinking the waters ever ſince the races, 
and have received marvellous ſtrength, 
had I not debilitated it as faſt as I got 
it, by playing the good fellow with 
Lord Granby and Co. too much. J 
rejoice you have been encamp'd at Har- 
rowgate, from which, by now, I ſup- 
poſe you are decamp d—otherwiſe as 
idle a beaſt as I have been, I would 
have facrificed a few days to the god 
of laughter with you and your jolly 
ſet.—T have done nothing good that I 
know of, ſince I left you, except paying 
off your guinea and a half to K, 
in my way thro' Tork hither—I muſt 

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try now * do better Go on, and pro- 
ſper for a month. 
| ü Your affectionate | 
L. STERNE. 


LETTER II. 


TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS, 


York, September 29, 1764. 

MY DEAR FRIEND, | 
HAVING Juſt had the honour of a let- 
ter from Miſs Tuting, full of the 
acknowledgments of your attention and 
kind ſervices to her; I will not believe 
theſe aroſe from the D. of A- 8 
letters, nor mine. Surely /he needed 10 
recommendation the trueſt and moſt 
honeſt compliment I can pay you, is to 
ſay they came from your own good heart, 
only you was introduced to the object 


for the reſt follow'd in courſe—However 


let me caſt in my mite of thanks to the 
treaſury which belongs to good- natured 
actions. I have been with Lord G—y 


111 TRE 149 14 
theſe three weeks at Scarborough the 4 [ 0 
pleaſures of which I found ſomewhat Tu 
more exalted than thoſe of Bagnieres hl 
laſt year.—I am now returned to my 9 
Philoſophical Hut to finiſh Triſtram, = 
which I calculate will be ready for the +a 


world about Chriſtmas, at which time 
I decamp from hence, and fix my head- 
quarters at London for the winter—un- 
leſs my cough puſhes me forwards to 
your Metropolis—or that I can perſuade 
ſome gros my Lord to take a trip to you 
I'll try if I can make him reliſh the 
Joys of the Tuilleries, Opera Comique, &c. 
I had this week a letter from Mrs. 
Sterne from Montauban, in which ſhe 
tells me ſhe has occaſion for fifty pounds 
immediately Will you ſend an order to 
your correſpondent at Montauban to pay 
her ſo much caſh—and I will in three 
weeks ſend as much to Becket—But as 
her purſe is low, for Gop's ſake write 
directly. Now you muſt do ſomething 
equally eſſential to rectify a miſtake in 
the mind of your correſpondent there, 
who it ſeems gave her a hint not long 


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150 LETTERS 


ago, © that ſhe was ſeparated from me for 
lie Now as this is not true in the 
firſt place, and may give a diſadvantage- 
ous impreſſion of her to thoſe ſhe lives 
amongſt——'twould be unmerciful to let 
her, or my daughter, ſuffer by it; - ſo do 
be ſo good as to undeceive him—for in 
a year or two ſhe propoſes (and indeed I 
expect it with impatience from her) to 
rejoin me—and tell them I have all the 
confidence in the world ſhe will not 
ſpend more than I can afford, and I only 
mentioned two hundred guineas a year 
— becauſe twas right to name ſome cer- 
tain ſum, for which I begged you to give 
her credit.—I write to you of all my 
molt intimate concerns, as to a brother; 


ſo excuſe me, dear Foley, God bleſs 


you—Believe me : 
Yours affectionately, 
L. STERNE. 


Compliments to Mr, Panchaud, 
D' Holbach, &c. . 


LETTERS 191 


KETTEN HF 


TO THE SAME. 


York, November 11, 1764. 


MY DEAR FRIEND, 


1 SENT ten days ago, a bank bill of thir- 


pounds to Mr. Becket, and this 
poſt one of ſixty When I get to Lon- 


don, which will be in five weeks, you 
will receive what ſhall always keep you 
In bank for Mrs. Sterne; in the mean 
time I have deſired Becket to ſend you 
fourſcore pounds, and if my wife, be- 
fore I get to London, ſhould have occa- 
ſion for fifty louis, let her not wait a 
minute, and if I have not paid it, a 
week or a fortnight I know will break 
no ſquares with a good and worthy 
friend, —I will contrive to ſend you theſe 
two new volumes of Triſtram, as ſoon 
as ever I get them from the preſs. — You 
will read as odd a tour through France 


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152 LETTERS. 


as ever was projected or executed by 


traveller, or travel-writers, ſince the 


world began—'Tis a laughing good- 
tempered ſatire againſt travelling (as 
puppies travel)—Panchaud will enjoy it 


El am quite civil to your Parifians—et 
pour cauſe you know—'tis likely I may 


ſee them in ſpring—Is it poſſible for you 
to get me over a copy of my picture any 
how ? If fo, I would write to Mademoi- 
ſelle N—— to make as good a copy 
from it as ſhe poſſibly could —with a 


view to do her ſervice here—and I would 


remit her the price really believe it 
would be the parent of a dozen portraits 
to her, if ſhe executes it with the ſpirit 


of the original in your hands—for it will 


be ſeen by many—and as my phiz is as. 
remarkable as myſelf, if ſhe preſerves 
the true character of both, it will do 
her honour and ſervice too. Write me 
a line about this, and tell me your are 
well and happy—Will you preſent my 
kind reſpects to the worthy Baron— I 
ſhall ſend him one of the beſt impreſſions 


L E TT EAS. 153 


of my picture from Mr. Reynolds's— 
another to Monſieur P My 
love to Mr. S n and Pd. 

I am moſt truly yours, 

| L. STERNE. 


LETTER Lt 


DAR DEAR COUSIN, Nov. 13, 1764. 
"" IS a church militant week with me, 

full of marches, and counter- 
 marches—and treaties about Stillington 
common, which we are going to incloſe 
 —otherwiſe I would have obeyed your 
ſummons—and yet I could not well have 
done it this week neither, having re- 
ceived a letter from C —, who has been 
very ill; and is coming down to ſtay a 
week or ten days with me Now I know 
he is ambitious of being better acquaint- 
ed with you; and longs from his ſoul 
for a ſight of you in your own caſtle.ä—I 
cannot do otherwiſe than bring him with 


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me —nor can I gallop away and leave 
him an empty houſe to pay a viſit to 
from London, as he comes half expreſs 
to ſee me.— I thank you for the care of 


my northern vintage — ] fear after all I 


muſt give it a fermentation on the other 
ſide of the Alps, which is better than 
being on the lees with it but nous ver- 
rons - yet I fear as it has got ſuch hold of 
my brain, and comes upon it like an 
armed man at nights—I muſt give way 


for quietneſs ſake, or be hag-ridden with 


the conceit of it all my life long—I have 
been Miſs-ridden this laſt week by a cou- 
ple of romping girls (bien miſes et comme 
il. faut) who might as well have been in 
the houſe with me (though perhaps not, 
my retreat here is too quiet for them), 
but they have taken up all my time, and 
have given my judgment and fancy more 
airings than they wanted. — Theſe things 
accord not well with ſermon- making 
but *tis my vile errantry, as Sancho ſays, 
and that is all that can be made of it. — 
I truſt all goes ſwimmingly on with your 
alum ; that the works amuſe you, and 


ET 155 


call you twice out (at leaſt) a day.—1I 
ſhall ſee them I truſt in ten days, or 
thereabouts—If it was any way poſſible, 
I would ſet out this moment, though I 
have no avalry—(except a ſhe Aſs). 
Give all friendly reſpects to Mrs. C. and 
to Col. H—'s, and the garriſon, both 
of Guiſbro and Skelton.—1 am, dear 
Anthony, : 


Affectionately yours, 


LETTER LV: 


TO MR. FOLEY, AT p. 


York, November 16, 1764. 
MY DEAR FRIEND, 


5 hos REE poſts before I had the Gn 
of yours (which is come to hand 
this moment) I had wrote to ſet Mrs. 
Sterne right in her miſtake—That you had 
any money of mine in your hands—being 
very ſenſible that the hundred pounds I 
had ſent you, through Becket's hands, 


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156 "LETTERS 


was but about what would balance with 


you The reaſon of her error was owing 
to my writing her word, I would fend 


you a bill in a poſt or two for fifty pounds 


—which, my financies falling ſhort juſt 
then, I deferred ſo that I had paid no- 
thing to any one —but was, however, 
come to York this day, and I have ſent 


you a draught for a hundred pounds—in 


honeſt truth, a fortnight ago I had not 
the caſh—but I am as honeſt as the king 
(as Sancho Panca ſays), only not ſo rich. 
Therefore if Mrs. Sterne ſhould want 
thirty louis more, let her have them— 
and I will balance all (which will not be 
much) with honour at Chriſtmas, when 
I ſhall be in London, having now juſt 


| finiſhed my two volumes of Triſtram. — 


I have ſome thoughts of going to Italy 
this year—at leaſt I ſhall not defer it 
above 'another..——T have been with 
Lord Granby, and with Lord Shelburne, 
but am now fat down till December in 
my ſweet retirement.— I wiſh you was 
fat down as happily, and as free of all 
worldly cares——]n a few years, my 


LETTERS. 157 


dear F. .» I hope to ſee you a real country 
gentleman, though not altogether exiled 
from your friends in London—there I 
ſhall ſpend every winter of my life, in 
the ſame lap of contentment, where I 
enjoy myſelf now—and wherever I go 
we muſt bring three parts in four of the 
treat along with us—In ſhort, we muſt 
be happy within—and then few things 
without us make much difference— This 
1s my Shandean philoſophy. — You will 
read a comic account of my journey 
from Calais, through Paris, to the Ga- 
ronne, in theſe volumes - my friends tell 
me they are done with ſpirit 
ſpeak for itſelf—Give my kind reſpects 


to Mr. Selwin and my friend Panchaud 


When you ſee Baron - d'Holbach, 
preſent him my reſpects, and believe 
me, dear F 'T) | 


Yours cordially, 


it muſt. 


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18 LETTERS. 


LETTER LV. 
To DAVID GARRICK, ESQ. 


London, March 16, 1765. 

DEAR GARRICK, 15 5 
1 THREATENED you with a letter in one 

J wrote a few weeks ago to Foley, 
but (to my ſhame be it ſpoken) I lead 
| ſuch a life of diſſipation I have never 
had a moment to myſelf which has not 
been broke in upon, by one engagement 
or impertinence or another—and as plots 
thicken towards the latter end of a piece, 
I find, unleſs I take pen and ink juſt 
now, I ſhall not be able to do it, till ei- 
ther I am got into the country, or you 
to the city. You are teized and tor- 
mented too much by your correſpond- 
ents, to return to us, and with accounts 
how much your friends, and how much 
your Theatre wants you—ſo that I will 
not magnify either our loſs or yours — 
but hope cordially to ſee you ſoon. 


3 


Lr 159 


Since J wrote laſt J have frequently ſtept 
into your houſe - that is, as frequently 
as I could take the whole party, where I 
dined, along with me—This was but 
Juſtice to you, as I walked in as a wit but 
with regard to myſelf, I balanced the 
account thus I am ſometimes in my 
friend 's houſe, but he is always in 
Triſtram Shandy's—where my friends 
ſay he will continue (and I hope 
the prophecy true for my own im- 
mortality), even when he himſelf is no 
more. | 

I have had a lucrative winter's cam- 
paign here—Shandy ſells well—I am 
taxing the public with two more vo- 
lumes of Sermons, which will more than 
double the gains of Shandy—It goes in- 
to the world with a prancing liſt Je toute 
la nobleſſ.— which will bring me in three 
hundred pounds, excluſive of the ſale of 
the copy—lſo that with all the contempt 
of money which ma fagon de penſer has 
ever impreſſed on me, I ſhall be rich in 
ſpite of myſelf: but I ſcorn, you muſt 
know, in the high ran I take at preſent, 


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160 EE r 
to pocket all this traſn I ſet out to lay 


a portion of it out in the ſervice of the 
world, in a tour round Italy, where 1 
ſhall ſpring game, or the deuce 1s in the 
dice.— In the beginning of September I 
quit England, that I may avail myſelf of 
the time of vintage, when all nature is 
joyous, and ſo ſaunter philoſophically 


for a year or ſo, on the other ſide the 


Alps.—I hope your pilgrimages have 
brought Mrs. Garrick and yourſelf back 
à la fleur de jeuneſſe—May you both long 
feel the ſweets of it, and your friends 
with you.—Do, dear friend, make my 
kindeſt wiſhes and compliments accepta- 
ble to the beſt and wiſeſt of the daugh- 
ters of Eve—You ſhall ever believe, 
and ever find me affectionately yours, 


.. STERNE. 


LETTERS. 161 


LETTER LFE 


TO THE SAME. 


| Bath, April 6, 1765. 
I SCALP you !—my dear Garrick ! my 

dear friend ! foul befal the man who 
hurts a hair of your head !—and ſo full 
was I of that very ſentiment, that my 
letter had not been put into the poſt-of- 
fice ten minutes, before my heart ſmote 
me; and I ſent to recal it—but failed— 
You are ſadly to blame, Shandy ! for 
this, quoth I, leaning with my head on 
my hand, as I recriminated upon my 
falſe delicacy in the affair=Garrick's 
nerves (if he has any left) are as fine 
and. delicately ſpun as thy own—his ſenti- 


ments as honeſt and friendly thou 


knoweſt, Shandy, that he loves thee 
why wilt thou hazard him a moment's 
pain? Puppy! fool, coxcomb, jack-aſs, 
&c. &c.— and ſo I balanced the account 


to your favour, before I received it 


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drawn up in your way—l ſay your 20 
for it is not ſtated ſo much to your ho- 
nour and credit, as I had paſſed the ac- 
count before—for it was a moſt lament- 
ed truth, that I never received one of 
the letters your friendſhip meant me, ex- 
cept whilſt in Paris—Oh ! how I con- 
gratulate you for the anxiety the world 
has, and continues to be under, for your 
return.—Return, return to the few who 
love you, and the thouſands who admire 
you.—The moment you ſet your foot 
upon your ſtage—mark ! J fell it you 
by ſome magic irreſiſted power, every 
fibre about your heart will vibrate afreſh, 
and as ſtrong and feelingly as ever—Na- 
ture, with glory at her back, will light 
up the torch within you—and there is 
enough of it left, to heat and enlighten 
the world theſe __ many, many 
years. 72 
Heaven be praiſed ! (I utter it from 
my ſoul) that your lady, and my Mi- 
nerva, is in a condition to walk to 
Windſor— full rapturouſly will I lead 
the — P to the temple, 1 where 


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LETTERS. 163 


I will facrifice with the pureſt incenſe to 
her—but you may worſhip with me, or 

not—'twill make no difference either in 
the truth or warmth of my devotion— 
{till (after all I have ſcen) I ſtill maintain 
her peerleſs. 

Powel ! good Heaven give me ſome 
one with leſs ſmoke and more fire — 
There are who, like the Phariſees, ſtill 
think they ſhall be heard for nuch ſpeak- 
 Ing—Come—come away, my dear Gar- 

rick, and teach us another leſſon. 


Adieu II love you dearly—and your 


lady better—not hobbihorſically—but 
moſt ſentimentally and affectionately— 
for I am yours (that is, if you never ſay 
another word about ) with all the 
ſentiments of love and friendſhip you de- 
ſerve from me, 


L. STERNE. 


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LETTER LII. 
TO MR. FOLEY. 


MY DEAR FOLEY, Bath, April 15, 1765. 


M* wife tells me ſhe has drawn for 

one hundred pounds, and tis fit 
that you ſhould be paid it that minute 
the money is now in Becket's hands— 
ſend me, my dear Foley, my account, 
that I may diſcharge the balance to this 
time, and know what to leave in your 
hands— I have made a good campaign 
of it this year in the field of the literati 
—my two volumes of Triftram, and two 
of ſermons, which I ſhall print very 
ſoon, will bring me a conſiderable ſum. 
—Almoſt all the nobility in England 
honour me with their names, and *tis 
thought it will be the largeſt and moſt 
ſplendid lift which ever pranced before 
a book, fince ſubſcriptions came into 
faſhion. Pray preſent my moſt ſincere 
compliments to Lady H- whoſe. 


+ 


LT 165 | [; 


name I hope to inſert with many others. 9 
— As ſo many men of genius favour me IM 
with their names alſo, I will quarrel 
with Mr. Hume, and call him Deiſt, 
and what not, unleſs I have his name 
too. My love to Lord W——, Your 
name, Foley, I have put in as a free-will 
offering of my labours—your- liſt of 
| ſubſcribers you will ſend—'tis but a # 
crown for ſixteen ſermons—Dog cheap! {| | 
but I am in queſt of honour, not mo- 1 
ney.— Adieu, adieu, believe me, dear il 
Foley, 140 


£68 i #1 
Yours truly, 600 


L. STERNE. 


L ETT E R LVIII. 


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| Coxwould, May 23, 1765. 
A T this moment I am ſitting in my 
£% ſummer-houſe with my head and 
heart full, not of my Uncle Toby's 
amours with the widow Wadman, but 


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166 LETTERS Ls 


my ſermons—and your letter has drawn 
me out of a. penſive mood—the ſpirit 
of it pleaſetb me- but in this ſolitude, 
what can I tell or write to you but about 
myſelf—I am glad that you are in love 
E twill cure you at leaſt of the ſpleen, 
which has a bad effect on both man and 
woman — 1 myſelf muſt ever have ſome 
Dulcinea in my head —it harmoniſes 
the ſoul—and in thoſe caſes I firſt en- 
deavour to make the lady beheve ſo, or 
rather I begin firſt to make myſelf be- 
lieve that I am in love—but I carry on 
my affairs quite in the French way, 
ſentimentally—< Pamour” ( fay they) 
« weft rien ſans ſentiment”'—Now not- 
withſtanding they make ſuch a pother 
about the word, they have no preciſe 
idea annex'd to it—And ſo much for 
that ſame ſubject called love.—I muſt 
tell you how I have juſt treated a 
French gentleman of fortune in France, 
who took a liking to my daughter— 
Without any ceremony (having got my 
direction from my wife's banker) he 
wrote me word that he was in love with 


LETTERS 167 


muy daughter, and deſired to know what 

fortune I would give her at preſent, and 
how much at my death—by the bye, 
I think there was very little /entiment 
on his ide My anſwer was, © Sir, 1 ſhall 
give her ten thouſand pounds the day 
of marriage—my calculation is as fol- 
lows—ſhe is not eighteen, you are ſix- 
ty-two—there goes five thouſand pounds 
— then, Sir, you at leaſt think her not 
ugly—ſhe has many accompliſhments, 
ſpeaks Italian, French, plays upon the 
guittar, and as I fear you play upon no 
inſtrument whatever, I think you will 
be happy to take her at my terms, for 
here finiſhes the account of the ten 
thouſand pounds“ I do not ſuppoſe 
but he will take this as I mean, thar 1s 
—a flat refuſal.— I have had a parionage 
houſe burnt down by the careleflneſs of 
my curate's wife—as ſoon as I can 1 
muſt rebuild it, I trow—but I lack the 
means at preſent—yet 1 am never hap- 
pier than when I have not a ſhilling in 
my pocket for wnen J have I can never 
call it my on. Adieu, my dear friend 

M 4 


= 
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168 LE T TIA. 
may you enjoy better health than me, 


tho' not better ſpirits, for that is im- 
poſſible. | 


Yours ſincerely, 


L. STERNE;- 


My compliments to the Col, 


LETTER IX. 
TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS. 


MY DEAR SIR, York, July 13, 1765. 
1 W ROTE ſome time in ſpring, to beg 

you would favour me with my ac- 
count. I believe you was ſet out from 
Paris, and that Mr. Garrick brought 
the letter with him - which poſſibly he 
gave you. In the hurry of your buſi- 
neſs you might forget the contents of 
it; and in the hurry of mine in town 
(though I called once) I could not get 
to ſee you. I decamp for Italy in Sep- 
tember, and ſhall ſee your face at Paris, 
you may be ſure—but I ſhall fee it with 
more pleaſure when I am out of debt 


LE 1 169 


which is your own fault, for Becket 
has had money left in his hands for that 
purpoſe.— Do ſend Mrs. Sterne her two 
laſt volumes of Triſtram; they arrived 
with yours in Spring, and ſhe complains 
ſhe has not got them My beſt ſervices 
to Mr. Panchaud.— I am bufy compo- 
ſing two volumes of ſermons— they will 
be printed in September, though I fear 
not time enough to bring them with me. 
Your name is amongſt the liſt of a few 
of my honorary ſubſcribers—<who ſub- 
ſcribe for love.— If you ſee Baron d'Hol- 
bach, and Diderot, preſent my reſpects 
to them— If the Baron wants any Eng- 
liſh books, he will let me know, and I 
will bring them with me—Adieu. 


I am truly yours, 


. 


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I. E T T E R LX. 
TO THE SAME. 


DEAR ein, London, October 7, 1765. 


FF is a terrible thing to be in Paris 


1 without a perriwig on a man's head! 
In ſeven days from the date of this, I 


ſhould be in that caſe, unleſs you tell 


your neigabour Madame Requiere to 
get her bon mari de me faire un peruque d 
beurſe, au miceux—C:/#-3-dire—une la plus 
extraordinaire la plus jolie la plus gen- 
rill.— et la plus 

Mais qu'importe ? j'ai l a FPetre 


| grand critigue — et bien difficile encore dans 


les affaires de peruques—and in one word 
that he gets it done in five days after 
notice— 

I beg i for this liberty, my dear 
friend, and for the trouble of forwarding 
this by the very next poſt.— If my friend 
Mr. F. is in Paris, my kind love to him, 
and reſpects to all others in fad haſte— 


Yours truly, 
L. STERNE. 


E RTF 271 

I have paid into Mr. Becket's hands 
ſix hundred pounds, which you may 
draw upon art ſight, according as either 


Mrs. Sterne or myſelf make it expe- 
dient. 


LET TI 
TO MR. PANCHAUD, AT PARTS. 


Beau Point Voiſin, November 7, 1765. 
DEAR SIR, 
I FORGOT to deſire you to forward what- 
ever letters came to your hand to 
your banker at Rome, to wait for me 
againſt I get there, as it is uncertain 
how long I may ſtay at Turin, &c. &c. 
at preſent I am held priſoner in this 
town by the ſudden ſwelling of two 
pitiful rivulets from the ſnows melting 
on the Alps—ſo that we cannot either 
advance to them, or retire back again 
to Lyons—for how long the gentlemen 
who. are my fellow-travellers, and my- 
ſelf, ſhall languiſh in this ſtate of vex- 
atious captivity, heaven and earth ſure- 
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172 LETTERS. 


ly know; for ir rains as if they were 
coming together to ſettle the matter.— 

I had an agreeable journey to Lyons, 
and a ' joyous time there; dining and 
ſupping every day at the commandant's 
Lord F. W. I left there, and about 
a dozen Engliſh—If you ſee Lord Oſ- 


ſory, Lord William Gordon, and my 


friend Mr. Crawford, remember me to 
them—if Wilkes is at Paris yet, I ſend 
him all kind wiſhes—preſent my com- 
pliments as well as thanks to my good 
„ and believe me, dear 


Sir, with all truth, yours, 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER LæXII. 
TO THE SAME. 


BEAR SIR, Turin, November 15, 1765. 
A FTER many difficulties I have got 
here ſafe and ſound - tho' eight 
days in paſſing the mountains of Sa- 


voy.— I am 3 here for ten days 


LET TELE 173 
dy che whole country betwixt here and 
Milan being laid under water by conti- 
nual rains but I am very happy, and 
have found my way into a dozen houſes 
already To-morrow I am to be pre- 
ſented to the King, and when that ce- 
remony is over, I ſhall have my hands 
full of engage ments No Engliſh here 


but Sir James Macdonald, who meets 


with much reſpect, and Mr. Ogilby. We 
are all together, and ſhall depart in peace 


together My kind ſervices to all— 


pray forward the incloſed 


i | Yours moſt truly, 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER LXIII. 


TO THE SAME. 


DEAR SIR, Turin, November 28, 1765, 
1 juſt leaving this place with Sir 
1 James Macdonald for Milan, &c.— 
We have ſpent a joyous fortnight here, 
and met with all kinds of honours— 


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174. LETTERS. 


and with regret do we both bid adieu 
but health on my ſide—and good ſenſe 
on his—ſay tis better to be at Rome 


you ſay at Paris—but you put variety 
out of the queſtion.—I intreat you to 
forward the incloſed to Mrs. Sterne—- 


My compliments to all friends, more 


particularly to thoſe I moſt value (that 

includes Mr. F. if he is in Paris). 

I am yours moſt truly, 
. STRAND, 


d. « 


*LTT TER LV. 
TO THE SAME. 


DEAR SIR, Florence, December 18, 1765. 
HAVE been a month paſſing the plains 


I of Lombardy—ſtopping in my way 
at Milan, Parma, Placenza, and Bo- 


logna—with weather as delicious as a 


kindly April in England; and have been 
three days in croſſing a part of the 
Apennines covered with thick ſnow— 


Sad tranſition I ſtay here three days 


E ET FH E RIS. 175 
to dine with our Plenipo Lords T —d 
and Cr, and in five days ſhall tread 
the Vatican, and be introduced to all 
the Saints in the Pantheon.—I ſtay but 
fourteen days to pay theſe civilities, and 
then decamp for Naples. Pray ſend the 
incloſed to my wife, and Becket's E 
to London. 


Tours truly, 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER 11 
TO MISS STERNE. 


""_—_ February 3, 1766. 
MY DEAR GIRL, | 
OUR letter, my Lydia, has made 
me both laugh and cry.—Sorry am 
I-that you are both ſo afflicted with the 
ague, and by all means I with you both 
to fly from Tours, becauſe I remem- 
ber it is ſituated between two rivers, la 
Loire, and le Cher—which. muſt occa- 
ſion fogs, and damp : unwholeſome wea- 


3 
1 


mar! 


ther - therefore for the ſame reaſon go 


not to Bourges en Breſſe— tis as vile a 


place for agues.— 1 find myſelf infi- 
nitely better than I was—and hope to 
have added at leaſt ten years to my life 
by this journey to Italy—the climate is 
heavenly, and I find new principles of 


health in me, which I have been long 


a ſtranger to—but truſt me, my Lydia, 
I will find you out, wherever you are, 
in May. Therefore I beg you to di- 
rect to me at Bellom's at Rome, that 
I may have ſome idea where you will 
be then.—The account you give me of 
Mrs. C is truly amiable, I ſhall 
ever honour her—Mr. C. is a diverting 
companion what he ſaid of your little 
French admirer was truly droll—the 
Marquis de - 13 an impoſtor, and 


not worthy of your acquaintance—he 


only pretended to know me, to get in- 
troduced to your mother -I deſire you 
will get your mother to write to Mr. 
C. that I may diſcharge every debt, and 
then, my Lydia, if I live, the produce 
of my pen ſhall be yours—If fate re- 


LETTERS wn 


ſerves me not that—the humane and 
good, part for thy father's ſake, part 
for thy own, will never abandon thee !— 
If your mother's health will permit 


her to return with me to England, your 


ſummers I will render as agreeable as 
I can at Coxwould=your winters at 
 York—you know my publications call 
me to London.—-If Mr. and Mrs. C— 
are ſtill at Tours, thank them from 


me for their cordiality to my wife and 


daughter. I have purchaſed you ſome 
little trifles, which I ſhall give you when 
we meet, as proofs of affection from 


Your fond father, 
L. STERNE. 


LET'TER LVVI. 


| MY DEAR H. Naples, February 5, 1766. 
hw a an age ſince I have heard from 

you—but as I read the London 

Chronicle, and .no tidings of your 
VOL, IX, | 


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178 LETTERS. 


death, or that you are even at the 
point of it, I take it, as I with it,- that 
you have got over thus much of the 
winter free from the damps, both of 
climate and ſpirits; and here I am, as 
happy as a king after all, growing fat, 
fleck, and well liking not improving 
in ſtature, but in breadth.— We have a 
jolly carnival of it nothing but operas 
—punchinelloes—feſtinoes and maſque- 
rades—We (that is, nous autres) are all 
dreſſing out for one this night at the 
Princeſs Francavivalla, which is to be 
ſuperb.— The Engliſh dine with her 
(excluſive); and ſo much for ſmall chat 
—except that I ſaw a little comedy act- 
ed laſt week with more expreſſion and 
ſpirit, and true character, than I ſhall 
ſee one haſtily again.—I ſtay here till 
the holy week, which I ſhall paſs. at 
Rome, where I occupy myſelf a month 
— My plan was to have gone from 
thence for a fortnight to Florence—and 
then by Leghorh to Marſeilles directly 
home - but am diverted from this by the 
repeated propolals, of ts. The 8 a 


11111 179 
gentleman, who is returning by Venice, 
Vienna, Saxony, Berlin, and ſo by the 
Spaw, and thence through Holland to 
England — tis with Mr. E. I have 
known him theſe three years, and have 
been with him ever ſince I reach'd Rome; 
and as I know him to be a good-hearted 
young gentleman, I have no doubt of 
making it anſwer both his views and 


mine —at leaſt J am perſuaded we ſhall 


return home together, as we ſet out, 
with friendſhip and good-will. Write 
your next letter to me at Rome, and do 
me the following favour if it lies in 
your way, which I think it does—to get 
me a letter of recommendation to our 
Ambaſſador (Lord Stormont at Vienna). 
I have not the honour to be known to 
his Lordſhip, but Lords P or 
Hm— 
would write a certificate for me, import- 
ing, that I am not fallen out of the 
clouds. If this will coſt my couſin 
little trouble, do incloſe it in your next 
letter to me at Belloni.— Lou have left 
Skelton 1 trow a month, and I fear have 
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120 LIT TERS, 


had a moſt ſharp winter, if one may 
judge of it from the ſeverity of the 
weather here, and all over Italy, which 
exceeded any thing known till within theſe 
three weeks, that the ſun has been as 
hot as we could bear it. —Give my kind 
ſervices to my friends—eſpecially to the 
houſehold of faith—=my dear Garland 
— to Gilbert to the worthy Colonel— — 
to Cardinal S——, to my fellow-labourer 
Pantagruel—dear couſin Antony, re- 
ceive my kindeſt love and wiſhes. 
Yours affectionately, 

L. STERNE. 


8. Upon ſecond thoughts, direct 
your next to me at Mr. W. banker at 


Venice. 


LETTER LXVII. 
70 MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS. 


DEAR six, Naples, February 8, 1766. 
] DESIRE Mrs. Sterne may have what 
'* caſh ſhe wants—if ſhe has not re- 
ceived it before now: ſhe ſends me 


LITT 181 
word ſhe has been in want of caſh theſe 


three weeks—be ſo kind as to prevent 
this uneaſineſs to her—which is doubly 
ſo ro me.—I have made very little uſe 
of your letters of credit, having ſince 
J left Paris taken up no more money 
than about fifty louis at Turin, as much 
at Rome—and a few ducats here—and 
as I now travel from hence to Rome, 
Venice, through Vienna to Berlin, &c. 
with a gentleman of fortune, I ſhall 
draw for little more till my return—ſo 
you will have always enough to ſpare 
for my wife. The beginning of March 
be ſo kind as to let her have a hundred 
pounds to begin her year with 

There are a good many Engliſh here, 
very few in Rome, or other parts of 
Italy.ä— The air of Naples agrees very 
well with me—T ſhall return fat—my 
friendſhip to all who honour me with 
theirs—Adieu, my dear friend—I am 
ever yours, | 
: 1. STERNE. 


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182 LETTERS. 


LETTER LXVIII. 
TO MR, PANCHAUD, AT PARIS. 


DEAR SIR, Naples, February 14, 1766. 
I WROTE laſt week to you, to deſire 
you would let Mrs. Sterne have 


what money ſhe wanted—it may hap- 


pen, as that letter went incloſed in one 
to her at Tours, that you will receive 
this firſt—TI have made little uſe of 
your letters of credit, as you will ſee 
by that letter, nor ſhall I want much (if 


any) till you ſee me, as I trayel now in 


company with a gentleman-—howeyer, 
as we return by Venice, Vienna, Berlin, 


&c. to the Spaw, I ſhould be glad if you 


will draw me a letter of credit upon 


ſome one at Venice, to the extent of 
fifty louis—but I am perſuaded I ſhall 
not want half of them-—however, in caſe 
of ſickneſs or accidents, one would not 
go ſo long a route without money in 
one's pocket.—The bankers here are 


Z 


EI 183 


not ſo conſcientious as my friend P. they 
would make me pay twelve per cent. if 
I was to get a letter here.— I beg your 
letters, &c. may be incloſed to Mr. Wat- 
ſon at Venice—where we ſhall be in the 


Aſcenſion I have received much benefit 


from the air of Naples—but quit it to be 
at Rome before the holy week, —There 
are about five-and-twenty Engliſh here 


but moſt of them will be decamp'd in two 


months—there are ſcarce a third of the 
number at Rome] ſuppoſe therefore 
that Paris is full-my warmeſt wiſhes 
attend you—with my love to Mr. F. and 
compliments to all—I am, dear Sir, 
very faithfully, | 


Yours, 
L. STERNE. 
Sir James Macdonald is in the houſe 
with me, and is juſt recovering a long 
and moſt cruel fit of the rheumatiſm. 


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* 


LETTER LXIx. 


May 25, near Dijon [1766]. 
DEAR ANTONY, 
| M* deſire of ſeeing both my wife 
and girl has turn'd me out of my 
road towards a delicious Chateau of the 
Counteſs of M —, where I have 
been patriarching it theſe ſeven days 
with her ladyſhip, and half a dozen of 
very handſome and agreeable ladies— 
her ladyſhip has the beſt of hearts—a 
valuable preſent not given to every one. 
To-morrow, with regret, I ſhall quit 
this agreeable circle, and poſt it night 
and day to Paris, where I ſhall arrive in 
two days, and juſt wind 'myſelf up, when 
I am there, enough to roll on to Calais— 
ſo I hope to ſup with you the king's 
birth-day, according to a plan of ſixteen 
days ſtanding.— Never man has been 
ſuch a wildgooſe chace after a wife as I 
have been—after having ſought her in 


ERF 188 


five or ſix different towns, I found her 
at laſt in Franche CompiemPoor woman! 
ſhe was very cordial, &c. and begs to 
ſtay another year or ſo—my Lydia 
pleaſes me much—I found her greatly 
improved in every thing I wiſhed her— 
I am moſt unaccountably well, and moſt 
unaccountably nonſenſical—'tis at leaſt a 
proof of good ſpirits, which is a ſign and 
token given me in theſe latter days, that 
I muſt take up again the pen—lIn faith, 
I think I ſhall die with it in my hand, but 
I ſhall live theſe ten years, my Antony, 
notwithſtanding the fears of my wife, 
whom I left moſt melancholy on that 
account. This is a delicious part of the 
world; moſt celeſtial weather, and we lie 
all day, without damps, upon the graſs 
—and that is the whole of it, except 
the inner man (for her ladyſhip is not 
ſtingy of her wine) 1s inſpired twice a 
day with the beſt Burgundy that grows 
upon the mountains which terminate our 
lands here.——-Surely you will not have 
decamped to Crazy Caſtle before I 
reach town—The ſummer here is ſet in 
in good earneſt—'tis more than we can 


1 
3 
5 


186 L E TT E RS. 


ſay for Lorkſhire— I hope to hear a good 
tale of your alum-works have you no 
other works in hand? I do not expect 
to hear from you, ſo God proſper you 


and all your undertakings. —T am, my 


dear couſin, 
Moſt affectionately yours, - 


L. STERNE. 
Remember me to Mr. G , Cardi- 
nal —_— the Col. &c. &c. ee 


LN T TB LEX. 
TO MR. PAN CHAUD, AT PARIS, 


DEAR SIR, York, June 28, 1966. 
WROTE laſt week to Mr. Becket to 
> diſcharge the balance due to you 
and I have received a letter from him, 
telling me, that if you will draw upon 


him for one hundred and ſixty pounds, 


he will punctually pay it to your order— 
ſo ſend the draughts when you pleaſe.— 


Mrs. Sterne writes me word, ſhe wants 


LET THES 187 


fifty pounds which I deſire you will let 
her have.— I will take care to remit it to 
your correſpondent I have ſuch an en- 
tire confidence in my wife, that ſhe 
ſpends as little as ſhe can, though ſhe is 
confined to no particular ſum—her ex- 
pences will not exceed three hundred 
pounds a year, unleſs by ill health, or a 
Journey—and I am very willing ſhe 


ſhould have it—and you may rely, in 


caſe it ever happens that ſhe ſhould draw 
for fifty or a hundred pounds extraordi- 
nary, that it and eyery demand ſhall be 
punctually paid—and with proper thanks; 
and for this the whole Shandean family 
are ready to ſtand ſecurity.— Tis im- 
poſſible to tell you how ſorry I was that 
my affairs hurried me ſo quick through 
Paris, as to deprive me of ſeeing my old 
friend Mr. Foley, and of the pleaſure I 
propoſed in being made known to his 
better half—but I have a probability of 
ſeeing him this winter, —Adieu, dear 
Sir, and believe me 
Moſt cordially yours, 
L. STERNE. 


—— DC —— — wow 40 


— 


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— . —— 
* — — 
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188 L VT ERS. 


P. S. Mrs. Sterne is going to Cha- 
lons, but your letter will find her, I be- 
lieve, at Avignon— She is very poorly— 
and my daughter writes to me, with ſad 
grief of heart, that ſhe is worſe. 


LETTER LXXI. 
TO .. 


pA sI R, Coxwould, July 23, 1766. 
| O*® E might be led to think that there 
1s a fatality regarding us—we make 
appointments to meet, and for thefe two 
years have not ſeen each other's face but 
twice—we muft try, and do better for 
the future—Having fought you with 
more zeal, than C.... ſought the Lord, 
in order to deliver you the books you 
bade me purchaſe for you at Paris—T 
was forced to pay carriage for them from 
London down to York—but as I ſhall 
neither charge you the books nor the 
carriage—'tis not worth talking about. 
— Never man, my dear Sir, has had a 
more agreeable tour than your Yorick-— 
and at preſent I am in my peaceful re- 


IT 189 


treat, writing the ninth volume * of 


Triſtram— I ſhall publiſh but one this 


year, and the next I ſhall begin a new 


work of four volumes, which when 
finiſhed, I ſhall continue Triſtram with 
freſh ſpirit. What a difference of ſcene 
here ? But, with a diſpoſition to be hap- 
py, 'tis neither this place, nor tother, 
that renders us the reverſe.—-In ſhort, 
each man's happineſs depends upon him- 
ſelf—he is a fool is he does not enjoy 
it. 

What are you about, dear S — ? 
Give me ſome account of your pleaſures 


you had better come to me for a fort- 


night, and I will ſhew, or give you (if 


needful), a practical doſe of my philo- 


ſophy; but I hope you do not want it 
if you did—'twould be the office of a 
friend to give it Will not even our 
races tempt you? You ſee I ule all ar- 
guments.— Believe me yours moſt truly, 
EDD: © LAURENCE STERNE. 


© Alluding to the firſt edition. 


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190 LETTERS. 


LETTER LXX. 
TO MR. PANCHAUD, AT PARIS. 


| Coxwould; September 21, 1766. 
MY DEAR FRIEND, 
F Mrs. Sterne ſhould draw upon you 
for fifty louis d'ors, be ſo kind as to 
remit her the money—and pray be fo 
good as not to draw upon Mr. Becket 
for it (as he owes me nothing), but fa- 


vour me with the draught, which I will 
pay to Mr. Selwin. 
man is now negociating à jaunt with me 
for ſix weeks, about Chfiſtmas, to the 


A young noble- 


Fauxbourg de St. Germain—I ſhould 
like much to be with you for ſo long— 
and if my wife ſhould grow worſe (hav- 
ing had a very poor account of her in 
my daughter's laſt), I cannot think of 
her being without me—and however ex- 
penſive the journey would be, I would 
fly to Avignon to adminiſter conſolation 


LETT EMA 191 


to both her and my poor girl - Where- 
ever 1 am, believe me, dear Sir, | 
NY | Yours, 


I. STERNE. 

My kind compliments to Mr. Foley: 
though J have not the honour of know- 
ing his rib, I ſee no reaſon why I may 


not preſent all due reſpects to the better 


half of fo old a friend, which I do by 
theſe prefents—with my friendlieſt wiſhes 
to Miſs P. 


LETTER LDB. 
TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS. 


Coxwould, October "Ss 1766. 

MY DEAR FOLEY, 
1 DESIRED you would be ſo good as 
to remit to Mrs. Sterne fifty louis, a 
month ago! dare ſay you have done it 
—but her illneſs muſt have coſt her a 
good deal—therefore having paid the 


192 IL 


laſt fifty pounds into Mr. Selwin's hands, 
F beg you to ſend her thirty guineas 
more—for which I ſend a bank bill to 
Mr. Becket by this poſt—but ſurely had 
I not done ſo, you would not ſtick at it 
—for be aſſured, my dear Foley, that 
the Firſt Lord of the Treaſury is neither 
more able or more willing (nor perhaps 
half ſo punctual) in repaying with ho- 
nour all I ever can be in your books. 
My daughter ſays her mother 1s very ill 
— and I fear going faſt down by all ac- 
 counts—'tis melancholy in her ſituation 
to want any aid that is in my power ta 
give—do write to her—and believe me, 
with all compliments to your Hotel, 


Yours very truly, 


L. STERNE, 


om 


LETT IE 8. 193 


„„ N TB - Lo 
DEAR 5IR = York, November 25, 1766. 


1 Just received yours and am glad 
that the balance of accounts is now 


paid to you— Thus far all goes well 1 


have received a letter from my daughter 
with the pleaſing tidings that ſhe thinks 
her mother out of danger — and that the 
air of the country is delightful (except- 
ing the winds) ; but the deſcription of 
the Chateau my wife has hired is really 
. pretty—on the ſide of the Fountain of 
Vaucluſe—with ſeven rooms of a floor, 
half furniſhed with tapeſtry, half with 
blue taffety, the permiſſion to fiſh, and 
to have game ; ſo many. partridges a 
week, &c.; and the price—gueſs ! ſix- 
teen guineas a year—there's for you, P. 
About the latter end of next month, my 
wife will have occaſion for 'a hundred 
guineas - and pray be ſo good, my dear 
VOL, IX, | 0 


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194 LETTERS. 


Sir, as to give orders that ſhe may not 
be diſappointed—ſhe is going to ſpend 
the Carnival at Marſeilles at Chriſtmas 
—I ſhall be in London by Chriſtmas 


week, and then ſhall balance this remit- _ 


tance to Mrs. S. with Mr. S—. Iam 
going to lie-in of another child of the 
Shandaick procreation, in town—lT hope 
you wiſh me a ſafe delivery] fear 
my friend Mr. F. will have left town 
before I get there—Adieu, dear Sir—] 
wiſh you every thing in this world which 
will do you good, for I am with un- 
feigned truth, | 


Yours, 
L. STERNE. 


Make my | compliments acceptable to 
the good and worthy Baron d Holbach 
— Miſs P. &c. &c. 


LET TEES 195 


LRT r 


FROM IGNATIUS SANCHO, TO MR. STERNE. 


REVEREND SIR, [1766.] 
is would be an inſult on your huma- 

nity (or perhaps look like it) to 
apologize for the liberty I am taking 
—] am one of thoſe people whom the 
vulgar and illiberal call negroes. —The 
firſt part of my life was rather unlucky, 
as I was placed in a family who judged 
ignorance the beſt and only ſecurity for 


obedience.—A little reading and writ- 


ing I got by unwearied application, — 
The latter part of my life has been, 
thro' God's bleſſing, truly fortunate— 
having ſpent it in the ſervice of one 
of the beſt and greateſt families in 
the kingdom — my chief pleaſure 
has been books —Philanthropy I adore 
—How very much, good Sir, am I 
(amongſt millions) indebted to you for 


the character of your amiable Uncle 


O 2 


196 LETTERS. 

Toby !—] declare I would walk ten 
miles in the dog-days, to ſhake hands 
with the honeſt Corporal. —Your ſer- 
mons have touch'd me to the heart, 
and I hope have amended it, which 
brings me to the point—In your tenth 
diſcourſe “, is this very affecting paſ- 
ſage—c« Conſider how great a part of our 
ſpecies in all ages down to this—have 
been trod under the feet of cruel and 
capricious tyrants, who would neither 
hear their cries, nor pity their diſtreſſes. 
— Conſider ſlavery— what it is—how 
bitter a draught—and how many mil- 
lions are made to drink of it.“ —Of all 
my favourite authors, not one has drawn 
a tear in favour of my miſerable black 
brethren—excepting yourſelf, and the 
humane author of Sir Geo. Elliſon.— 
J think you will forgive me; I am 
ſure you will applaud me for be- 
ſeeching you to give one half-hour's 
attention to ſlavery, as it is this day 
practiſed in our Weſt Indies. — That 


. See Vol. VI. of this edition, p. 202. 


LI 1 107 


ſubje& handled in your ſtriking manner 
would eaſe the yoke (perhaps) of many 
 —but if only of one—gracious God! 
what a feaſt to a benevolent heart! and 
ſure I am, you are an epicurean in 
acts of charity.—You who are univer- 
fally read, and as univerſally admired— 
you could not fail.—Dear Sir, think in 
me you behold the uplifted hands of 


thouſands of my brother Moors. Grief 


(you. pathetically obſerve) is eloquent : 
figure to yourſelf their attitudes ; hear 
their ſupplicating addreſſes !—alas! you 
cannot refuſe. Humanity muſt comply 
Lin which hope I beg permiſſion to ſub- 
ſcribe myſelf, | 
L Reverend Sir, &c. 
| — 


03 


irt 


LETTER IXXVI. 
FROM MR. STERNE, TO IGNATIUS SANCHO. 


Coxwould, July 27, 1766. 

HERE is a ſtrange coincidence, 
Sancho, in the little events (as well 

as in the great ones) of this world: 
for I had been writing a tender tale of 
the ſorrows of a friendleſs poor negro- 
girl, and my eyes had ſcarce done 
ſmarting with it, when your letter of 
recommendation, in behalf of ſo many 
of her brethren and ſiſters, came to 
me—but why her brethren? or yours, 
Sancho ! any more than mine? It 1s by 
the fineſt tints, and moſt inſenſible gra- 
dations, that nature deſcends from the 
faireſt face about St. James's, to the 
ſootieſt complexion in Africa :—at which 
tint of theſe is it, that the ties of blood 
are to ceaſe? and how many ſhades 
muſt we deſcend lower ſtill in the ſcale, 


— 


LETTERS. 199 


ere mercy is to vaniſh with them: ? But 
tis no uncommon thing, my good San- 
cho, for one half of the world to uſe 
the other half of it like brutes, and 
then endeavour to make em ſo.—For 
my own part, I never look weſtward 
(when I am in a penſive mood at leaſt) 
but I think of the burthens which our 
brothers and ſiſters are there carrying, 
and could I eaſe their ſhoulders from 
one ounce of them, I declare I would 
ſet out this hour upon a pilgrimage to 


Mecca for their ſakes—which by the 


bye, Sancho, exceeds your walk of ten 


miles in about the ſame proportion 


that a viſit of humanity ſhould one of 
mere form. However, if you meant 
my Uncle Toby, more he is your debtor. 
— Tf I can weave the tale I have wrote 
into the work I am about—tis at the 
ſervice of the afflicted—and a much 
greater matter; for in ſerious truth, it 
caſts a ſad ſhade upon the world, that 
ſo great a part of it are, and have been 
ſo long bound in chains of darkneſs, 
and in chains of miſery; and I cannot 

o 4 


200 LETTERS. 
but both reſpe& and felicitate you, that 
by ſo much laudable diligence you have 
broke the one - and that by falling into 
the hands of ſo good and merciful a 
family, Providence has reſcued you from 
the other. | 

And ſo, good-hearted Sancho, adieu 


and believe me I will not forget your 
letter. 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER LXXVII. 


| Comal, December 20, 1766. 

HANKS, my dear W., for your let- 
ter. —1 am juſt preparing to come 
and greet you and many other friends in 
town have drained my ink-ſtandiſh to 
the bottom, and after I have publiſhed, 
ſhall ſet my face, not towards Jerufalem, 
but towards the Alps—TI find I muſt 
once more fly from death whilſt I have 


LET 201 


firength—1 ſhall go to Naples, and ſee 
whether the air of that place will not ſet 


this poor frame to rights—As to the pro- 


ject of getting a bear to lead, I think I 
have enough to do to govern myſelf— 
and however profitable it might be (ac- 
cording to your opinion), I am ſure it 
would be unpleaſurable—Few are the 
minutes of life, and I do not think that 
I have any to throw away on any one be- 
 1Ing.——1 ſhall ſpend nine or ten months 
in Italy, and call upon my wife and 
daughter in France at my return—ſo 
ſhall be back by the King's birth-day 
hat a project !=—and now, my dear 
friend, am I going to York, not for the 
ſake of ſociety—nor to walk by the ſide 
of the muddy Ouſe, but to recruit my- 
ſelf of the moſt violent ſpitting of blood 
that ever mortal man experienced ; be- 


cauſe I had rather (in caſe *tis ordained 


ſo) die there, than in a poſt-chaiſe on 


the road.—If the armour of my uncle 


Toby do not pleaſe you, I am miſtaken 
QC and ſo with a droll ſtory I will finiſh 
this letter—A ſenſible friend of mine, 


Acts, e rm < 


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202 | L E TT E Rs. 


with whom, not long ago, I ſpent ſome 
hours in converſation, met an apothe- 
cary (an acquaintance of ours) —the 
latter aſked him how he did? why, ill, 
very ill—I have been with Sterne, who has 
given me ſuch a doſe of Artic ſalt that 
I am in a fever—Attic falt, Sir, Attic 
falt! I have Glauber falt,—I have 
Epſom falt in my ſhop, &c.— Oh! I 
ſuppoſe tis ſome French falt—I wonder 
you would truſt his report of the me- 
dicine, he cares not what he takes him- 


ſelf—T fancy I ſee you ſmile— I long to 


be able to be in London, and embrace 
my friends there—and ſhall enjoy my- 
ſelf a week or ten days at Paris with 
my friends, particularly the Baron 
d' Holbach, and the reſt of the joyous 
ſett As to the females—no, I will not 
fay a word about them—only I hate 
borrowed characters taken up (as a 
woman does her ſhift) for the purpoſe 
the intends to effectuate. Adieu. adieu 
Al am yours whilſt 


L. STERNE. 


LETTERS 203 


LETTER LXXVIII. 
TO MR. PANCHAUD, AT PARIS. 


DEAR P. London, February 13, 1767. 
1 PAID yeſterday (by Mr. Becket) a 

hundred guineas, or pounds, I forget 
which, to Mr. Selwin—But you muſt 
remit to Mrs. Sterne at Marſeilles a 
hundred louis before ſhe leaves that 
place, which will be in leſs than three 
weeks. Have you got the ninth volume 
of Shandy * 2— tis liked the beſt of all 
here.-l am going to publiſh a Senti- 


mental Journey through France and Italy 


—the undertaking is protected and 
highly encouraged by all our nobleſſe— 
tis ſubſcribed for, at a great rate 
'twill be an original—in large quarto— 
the ſubſcription half a guinea—If you 


can procure me the honour of a few. 


names of men of ſcience, or faſhion, 
I ſhall thank you—they will appear in 
good company, as all the nobility here 


* Alluding to the firſt edition. 


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204 LETTERS. 

almoſt have honoured me with their 
names, My kindeſt remembrance to 
Mr. Foley reſpects to Baron d'Hol- 


bach, and believe. me ever ever yours, 


L. STERNE. 


LETTER LXTNx. 
TO MISS STERNE. 
Old Bond- ſtreet, February 23, 1767. 
Ar ſo, my Lydia! thy mother and 
thyſelf are returning back again 


from Marſeilles to the banks of the 
Sorgue—and there thou wilt fit and 
fiſh for trouts—I envy you the ſweet 


fituation. —Petrarch's tomb I ſhould 


like to pay a ſentimental viſit to 
the Fountain of Vaucluſe, by thy de- 
ſcription, muſt be delightful -I am alſo 


much pleaſed with the account you 
give .me of the Abbe de Sade—you 
find great comfort in ſuch a neigh- 
bour—I.am glad he is ſo good as to 
correct thy tranſlation of my Sermons 


LI Ir 205 
Adear girl, go on, and make me a pre- 
ſent of thy work but why not the 
Houſe of Mourning? 'tis one of the 
beſt. I long to receive the life of 
Petrarch, , and his - Laura, by your 
Abbe; but I am out of all patience 
with the anſwer the Marquis made the 
Abbe—'twas truly coarſe, and I won- 
der he bore it with any chriſtian pa- 
tience—But to the ſubject of your 
| letter—I do not wiſh to know who 
was the buſy fool, who made your 
mother uneaſy about Mrs. tis 
true I have a friendſhip for her, but 
not to infatuation—I believe I have 
judgment enough to diſcern hers, and 
every woman's faults, I honour thy 
mother for her anſwer—< that ſhe 
wiſhed not to be informed, and beg- 
ged him to drop the ſubjet.”—Why 
do you fay that. your mother wants 
money ?—whilſt I have a ſhilling, ſhall 
you not both have. nine-pence out of 
it 2—1 think, if I have my enjoyments, 


T ought not to grudge you yours. — 


I ſhall not begin my Sentimental Jour- 


[Mertin 


ney till I get to Coxwould—1 have 
| laid a plan for ſomething new, quite 
out of the beaten track.-I wiſh I had 
you with me—and I would introduce 
you to one of the moſt amiable and 
gentleſt of beings, whom I have juſt 
been with—not Mrs. , but a 
Mrs. J. the wife of as worthy a 
man as I ever met with eſteem them 
both. He poſſeſſes every manly virtue 
—honour and bravery are his charac- 
teriſtics, which have diſtinguiſhed him 
nobly in ſeveral inſtances—T ſhall make 
you better acquainted with his charac- 
ter, by ſending Orme's Hiſtory, with 
the books you deſfired—and it is well 
worth your reading; for Orme is an 
elegant writer, and a juſt one; he pays no 
man a compliment at the expence 
of truth. —Mrs. J is kind, —and 
friendly —of a ſentimental turn of mind 
and ſo ſweet a diſpoſition, that ſhe 
is too good for the world ſhe lives in 
—Juſt Gad ! if all were like her, what 
a life would this be !—Heaven, my 
Lydia, for ſome wiſe purpoſe has cre- 


LETTERS. 207 


ated different beings—1 wiſh my dear 


child knew her thou art worthy of 


her friendſhip, and ſhe already loves 
thee; for I ſometimes tell her what I 
feel for thee.— This is a long letter 
write ſoon, and never let your letters 
be ſtudied ones write naturally, and 
then you will write well.—I hope your 
mother has got quite. well of her ague 
—] have ſent her ſome of Huxham's 
tincture of the Bark.—I will order you 
a guittar, ſince the other is broke. Be- 
lieve me, my Lydia, that I am yours 
affectionately, 


L. STERNE. 


LRT PUT LAXX. 
TO MR. PANCHAUD, AT PARIS. 


| DEAR $IR, London, February 27, 1767. 
M y daughter begs a preſent of me, 
and you muſt know I can deny 


her nothing—It muſt be ſtrung with 


cat-gut, and of five chords ic hiama 
| 5 


—— —„—̃— — ——— — — — 2 — — 


205 L ET T E Rs. 


in Italiano la chitera di ciugue corde— 
ſhe cannot get ſuch a thing at Mar- 
ſeilles—at Paris one may have every 
thing Will you be ſo good to my 
girl as to make her happy in this af- 
fair, by getting ſome muſical body to 
buy one, and ſend it her to Avignon 
directed to Monſieur Teſte ?—I wrote 
laſt week to defire you would remit 
Mrs. S. a hundred louis—'twill be all, 
except the guittar, I ſhall owe you— 
ſend me your account, and I will pay 
Mr. Selwin—dire& to me at Mr. Bec- 
ket's—all kind reſpects to my friend Mr. 
F. and your ſiſter, 
Yours cordially, 


L. STERNE, 


END OF THE NINTH VOLUME, 


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