I Have Definitely Done the Pot Drug!
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

What’s that? Do I smoke pot?

Oh for sure, 100% I smoke the pot. I take the pot, I lick the pot, I eat the pot, all the ways to do the pot I have done. Except I was so high I barely remember them — you know what I mean? Picture this, I wake up on a Saturday and I see there is leftover party time around me and I just know, boy do I know, that pot has been done the night before. I have definitely done the pot.

What kind of pot do I like?

What kind, hmm, what kind, interesting but HARD question. Of course they’re all good. I like small pot sometimes when I’m feeling not as crazy, but often I’m doing the big pot! I find that some of the best pot is from warmer climates like, say, well, New Mexico? And then of course there is some great stuff from Arizona. “Desert pot,” but it could have street names you are familiar with, like Georgia O’Keef, Turquoise Toke. I think it’s made in a kiln which gives it a really smokey sort of flavor.

My favorite part about smoking pot?

Well doing drugs is my favorite part of smoking pot I’d say overall. Every time I take the pot I think back to our pot-forefathers — when pot was invented at Woodstock — and sort of raise my pot cigarette to them and their sense of rebellion. I love Cheech Guevara and everything he was fighting for in the revolution to legalize pot in Cuba. That’s what a lot of people don’t get. Sure it makes you feel crazy (like being drunk of alcohol but on pot drug) but really it’s so much more. Pot is culture, movies that are on VHS, politics, and sometimes very long songs.

Where do I get my pot from?

Do you want like an address? Are you a cop?! Hahaha, no I know you’re not a cop, but you know we gotta ask! Us pot-doers well, we are cautious when people ask us that. It’s something only fellow pot consumers like you and me know; which is why I almost won’t answer but I trust you so I will definitely answer this question. I mainly get it from people, not machines or on the internet, and I definitely never place phone orders. I value that personal interaction, and I find real people have the best sort of pot. Arizonian pot.

What do I do when I smoke?

Oh boy, what don’t I do, amiright?! Specifically? Well there was this one time where I took so much pot. Like inches of the stuff. I was with my friend Ashton. We always have the best time together and often because we are under the influence of pot. After a crazy night we misplaced our car and so we had to spend the entire next day asking people where our car was trying to find it and boy did we get into some antics. But we laughed and laughed about it. Then we became violently ill as is customary when you take the most pot.

Am I excited for 4–20?

Hell yes! It’s my favorite holiday. The day Jesus died from a pot overdose.
['Rodney Uhler']
['Humor', 'Pot', 'Drugs', 'Marijuana', 'Satire']