《礼记·杂记上》
为妻服丧，如果父亲还健在，那就要在礼数上打点折扣，不能手持丧杖，也不能对来宾行稽颗之拜；如果是父亲去世而母亲健在，那就可以手持丧杖，但仍不得对宾客稽颗。
为妻，父母在，不杖，不稽颡。母在，不稽颡。
When mourning for a wife, if the father was still alive, the rituals must be reduced, and the mourner would not hold a mourning stick or perform the jī kòu bow to guests. If the father had died, but the mother was still alive, the mourner could hold a mourning stick, but still would not perform the jī kòu bow to guests.