there are different schools of thought about reality orientation and dementia. some believe that it is helpful to reorient a person with memory deficits and disorientation to reality when they cannot recognize their familiar environment or loved ones. they may take them to the mirror to point out who they are or show them a loved object hoping to "jar" their memory. in contrast others believe it is more harmful to impose our reality on a person who may be fixed in another space of time. they may become more defensive and frightened. deciding which is best for your loved one depends upon what works best. if reminding your mom when she asks about dad that he died results in greater suffering perhaps it is kinder to speak to her feelings: "it sounds like you miss dad. let's look at that wonderful album of your honeymoon in niagara falls. " by helping her reminisce with fond memories you are redirecting her from her sorrow and bringing her back to communicate with dad.
how can we help our mom with alzheimer's who forgets that dad died six months ago and grieves each time we tell her?