i would suggest that you see a psychologist experienced in this area so you can address the underlying childhood trauma that you feel is causing your failure to achieve an orgasm. occasionally there are underlying physical reasons so your gynecologist or primary care provider can be consulted. usually the gynecologist has a list of appropriate counselors that deal with sexual difficulties.
how do you address the problem of life long absence of orgasm (female 57 years) when it relates to childhood trauma?