if a parents send their kids the message that they value appearance more than who they are as a person it will not have beneficial effects. that being said every person is different in how they react to such circumstances so it's hard to generalize. this article discusses the connection between weight and mothers and daughters. maybe your friend can get help with this issue so she can see how it is affecting her life today.
if a mother says to her 12 year old girl "i love u more if u were skinny" will it mentally scar the child? . will the child also develop abnormal behavior and think abnormally. i have a friend who is always depressed and she asked me why i would hang out with her. i said becuz u are nice and clean and a good person and u love god. she didn't believe me saying that she was too fat for that and explained to me that her mom didn't love her becuz she said "i love u more if u were skinny". she said she thinks her mom doesn't care if she was rude or disrespectful as long as she is skinny. .