from the description it seems that you have a anxiety disorder and probably issues with being lonely which is probably resulting in a low mood. it is understandable that being in the army and to be portraying a hard and tough image all the time takes a toll on the mind. after all man is a social being and seeing the hardships in war zones can cause psychological impact on any human being. but you should understand that though your profession demands you to be tough while on the job you will need to de-stress and find ways to relax when you are off duty. this you can do by various means like listening to music spending time with friends and family learning a new art like music reading books being active in sports or at the gym etc. other methods by which you can find relaxation and calm is by meditation and doing breathing exercises. you may consult a psychiatrist or a counselor who can take a complete history and counsel you accordingly.
i am in a masculine profession so feel like i would try to sort the problem out with the minimum of fuss possible. when i am with my friends i feel fine when i go back to my own place and watch the tv i seem to get very down and the slightest thing can make start/feel like crying. mostly its things like hospital dramas when i see women of a certain age that are ill my mother died 6 years ago and i think that i kept most of my emotions to myself as i did not want to be seen as weak. i have also been to iraq and afghanistan where i spent quite alot of the time travelling around so had to was by myself most of the time (nothing of note in my opinion while i was there happened to cause concern) any help or advice that you would be able to give me on this problem would be much appreciated.