it sounds like you have some insight into the issue at hand. it is often more complex and i wonder if you would do well seeing a psychotherapist? generally they could work with you in more depth with this and help you get some closure and move on. i'd suggest using your insurance call them or go their web site. look up mental health services and you want a phd psychologist. start calling them and tell them you are looking for a therapist that uses analytical or dynamic techniques as i think this approach may match your insight and your issues. if they say they do this type of therapy approach go see them weekly for 3-12 months and see how it goes.
my father constantly criticized my mother. as a child i tried hard not to be like her. how can i learn to love myself?