most helpful answer you are in a real pickle if you excuse the pun. i would suggest that you visit your friendly neighborhood er and have a skilled medical professional remove it. there is a strong possibility that the cucumber has lodged sideways creating a potentially-serious condition. suppress your embarrassment and just go to the er. you are not the first person to do this. i can feel it with my finger. it appears to be stuck against the bone and i can't "unstuck" it (for a lack of a better word)
object stuck inside anal cavity. i have inserted a cucumber inside my ass and now it's so far up that i can't reach it. what should i do?