i read your query and understand your concerns. from the available description it appears that there is a psychogenic premature ejaculation. holding it for 30 minutes while having oral sex and not holding even for a few minutes during penetrative sex is clearly indicative of psychological premature ejaculation. there is no indication that you have a lifelong premature ejaculation. it is definitely treatable either with medication or psychotherapy. i understand your fear about medication but there is no indication that it causes decrease in sex drive. in regard to other methods of treatment kegel exercise has the most value. through kegel exercise try to hold ejaculation up to 15 seconds initially and increase by 1 or 2 seconds per day. the results may take time but there will be a definite improvement. for further doubts consult an andrologist online --> <link>
is my premature ejaculation due to fear or a lifelong problem?