i think what you're asking is: can you transmit genital herpes to your partner if you have oral herpes but you do not perform oral sex on her. and the answer to that is "no. " you also can't give her oral herpes if you don't kiss her. herpes is transmitted by direct contact. i applaud your concern about not transmitting herpes to your partner. however what concerns me more here is the issue of safe sex in general. how do you know she doesn't have genital herpes that may be transmitted to you? she could have genital herpes and not even know it. or she could be infected with humanpapillomavirus (hpv) and not know it. in fact she could have several sexually transmitted diseases and be unaware of it. why would you take chances with your reproductive health by not practicing safe sex at all times? plus of course there's the issue of pregnancy. do you want to become a father? are you ready to become a dad? because it's possible if you're having unprotected sex. no method of birth control is 100% effective but you can increase the effectiveness of any birth control by using "redundant systems" (to borrow a term from computer science). in other words even if your partner is using some form of birth control you can also use a form of birth control (in this case a condom ) to make sex even safer in terms of pregnancy prevention. again i think you're very wise to be aware that you have oral herpes and to be concerned about not transmitting this virus. i hope you think about the other issues i brought up too.
if i have oral herpes can the girl get it if we have vaginal sex dont kiss or have oral sex but dont use a condom?