It's nights like this I fear the most, the ones where I'm in my room and there is complete silence, I lay in my bed with tears rolling down my cheeks as it makes it down to the soft pillow where it will be forever wet. I roll over and all the tears form a drowning puddle to the side of me…it's nights like this I fear I'll fall into the puddle and forever drowned. It's night like this where being called stupid, ignorant, a disgrace…doesn't seem to bother me as much as normal. Its nights like this I fear the most. The sound of a spoon against the glass of water…where the word obese or fat no longer bothers me. The sound of someone saying no one should date you till your the weight you should be,no longer makes me rethink or second guess myself.. It's nights like this I fear the mostits nights like this this that make me question the existence of myself…living less than a mile from you,yet never saying hello. The regrets I have of not fighting to keep the connection alive .. And letting it die. Its nights like this I fear the most. . Its nights like this that fear me the most…when you're told not to bite the hand that feeds you…but you were taught to be independant. When the names hurt worse then being hit…. It's nights like this I fear the most. When you're told that you're better off being be a whore instead being yourself…when your selfonfidene is shot like the last firecracker in july…it's nights like this I fear the most. Its nights like this where I don't know if I'll wake in the morning to tell my story. Its nights like this I fear the most,its nights like this I lay in bed and cry. Its nights like this. 