I have never cared more about my life, it has been miserable throughout. Living desperately just trying to survive and waiting for that moment called death. That's way this death fascinates me is it really the end of all troubles and tribulations on this planet when we say we are alive wanting desperately to live happily or successfully . Negativity has always been a part of me although my religion has taught me to be happy I myself don't feel happy at all. Why has that god created us with all the troubles we have to go through just to go on living for nothing knowing very well I will die someday and leaving all this behind maximum how much time 27375 to 37500 days . Going on living is the most desperate thing in this world. Sunday comes and monday comes and again some stupid day and then again sunday and you go thru them doing your stupid day to day things every day ,every day on and on and on I am eating , drinking, shiting, wearing clothes, loving ,getting annoyed keeping myself comfortable all for nothing. Hell why are we born just do all this and die, makes me miserable man. Keep yourself busy, earn money, have a girlfriend/boyfriend, marry, have kids, read that holy books, go to your sacred place worship god even though you don't see him pray to him seek his help read those holy scriptures ultimately what you are told is to beg-kneel down and beg stupid you, you are a beggar that's how I had lived asking from god all the comforts happiness I. E. Begging , I am tired of this begging now. God leave me alone nothing really happens. You just have to believe that god will bring some stupid miracle is going to happen in your life and have a positive attitude towards life and go on ,waiting for some change to happen and as each day gives you something thinking that it's a miracle from god nothing happens man you just get old nobody cares a dam about you and you stupid die the truth. What for wanting to survive and all that stupid hell. Desperate as I am wanting to see an end to all this stupidity called life, feel like this world should just blow apart so that all of us will peacefully die or that I am not a part of all that positive guy stuff. Every media name it I see messages of positivity and how I should live my life positive with all the good examples, I just delete any messages that come to me. Frustrated man frustrated with this thing called living and for what. This killing one other life to survive looks more frustrating. Eating life out of plants and animals for me to live and breathe is frustrating. All of us are killing to live and still all are good and everything is good about life no man nothings right about this life. Why are we here just to eat shit breath out carbon dioxide and fade away one fine day to dust and mud? Stupid it seems. Loving caring hoping helping praying is nothing but cheating yourself. I feel like ending this world. I desperately want peace I. E. Getting out of this crazy world. I want to die- the end of life misery. 