It hurts to write so many words ,when you don't exactly know what you want to write. In a misery of world it's better to write a poem. But when you gather the shattered pieces of your life and glue it all together with a sheer hope of getting the reflection of yourself. You tend to realize that everything you wanted to be was right there,but you just couldn't see it. What is it that you seek in the moment,you know it but don't want to get it. Because the moment you get it, that thing inside you is going to burn and transform into ashes. But somehow you are just ok with it's existence. Its a carbon that doesn't require the purpose to be there. And the more you write, more you fall asleep only to realize that you are not dreaming but instead getting attracted to your consciousness,which is telling you to correct yourself. You are so locked into the position you just don't want to be right. Every wrong seems better place to live in. There is an object of desire staring right into your eyes, but you can't focus,everything is blur to you. All your life you let the parts of yourself weaken so much that now it is irreversible. You see those beautiful green leaves , shining in that bright yellow light but somehow the image is fading and merging into itself,not letting you enjoy the pure pleasure of nature. Which seemed at the moment ,the only purpose of life , so surreal and mesmerizing yet its no more what it used to be. When it strikes to you that that time has come to go,you might be wondering whether to wrap up or let it be. Well if you give it few seconds ,you mind will wander off ,and you will realize it doesn't matter. The only thing that does,is whether everything would remain same or it will change. There is this shallow purpose of life deep down somewhere,reminding you to embrace the change through the walks of the life. But the question is whether it's worth it to do so and whether if ever cared about it. In the end, someone will knock your door and wake you up from the lie. And you will continue to explore the journey, you once had forgotten. 