<p>We should not harass other people, including with what is wholesome. The suttas say:</p>

<blockquote>
  <p><em>Enduring patience is the supreme austerity, Nibbāna is supreme say the
  Buddhas, for one gone forth does not hurt another, nor does an ascetic
  harass another. Dhammapada 184</em></p>
  
  <p><em>Drawing in the mind’s thoughts As a tortoise draws its limbs into its
  shell, Independent, not harassing others, fully quenched, A bhikkhu
  would not blame anyone. SN 1.17</em></p>
</blockquote>

<p>If we act with a wholesome intention, this is not wrong. But if we discover others are not interested in our wholesome intentions, we should refrain from harassing them &amp; care about what they think.</p>

<p>However, if we unintentionally offend them with our wholesomeness, we have done nothing wrong. As Jesus said: "<em>Do not give pearls to swine; do not give the children's food to the dogs; they will turn to attack &amp; trample upon it</em>". </p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-05-17T09:56:53.500Z
2020-05-17T09:56:53.500Z
Dhamma Dhatu
<p>The Kalama Sutta (<a href="https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.065.than.html" rel="nofollow noreferrer">AN 3.65</a>) says:</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>So, as I said, Kalamas: 'Don't go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, "This contemplative is our teacher." When you know for yourselves that, "These qualities are unskillful; these qualities are blameworthy; <strong>these qualities are criticized by the wise</strong>; these qualities, when adopted &amp; carried out, lead to harm &amp; to suffering" — then you should abandon them.' Thus was it said. And in reference to this was it said.</p>
  
  <p>Now, Kalamas, don't go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, 'This contemplative is our teacher.' When you know for yourselves that, 'These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; <strong>these qualities are praised by the wise</strong>; these qualities, when adopted &amp; carried out, lead to welfare &amp; to happiness' — then you should enter &amp; remain in them.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>I think that implies you should care about and understand, as well as "know for yourself", what wise people think.</p>

<p>I think there's a lot of mention too, in the suttas, about social harmony within the sangha -- and its being important to have good or spiritual friends -- I think that might be what's meant by "the holy life" (<em>brahamacariya</em>):</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>Not so, Ānanda! Not so, Ānanda!<br>
  <em>“Mā hevaṃ, ānanda, mā hevaṃ, ānanda.</em></p>
  
  <p>Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life.<br>
  <em>Sakalamevidaṃ, ānanda, brahmacariyaṃ, yadidaṃ—kalyāṇamittatā kalyāṇasahāyatā kalyāṇasampavaṅkatā.</em></p>
  
  <p><a href="https://suttacentral.net/sn45.2/en/sujato" rel="nofollow noreferrer">SN 45.2</a></p>
</blockquote>

<p>We also have precepts (e.g. to be harmless). They too are motivated by what other people think:</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>All tremble at violence; all fear death. <strong>Putting oneself in the place of another</strong>, one should not kill nor cause another to kill.</p>
  
  <p><a href="https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.10.budd.html" rel="nofollow noreferrer">Dhp 129</a></p>
</blockquote>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-05-17T16:07:46.457Z
2020-05-17T16:07:46.457Z
ChrisW
<p>Our own thoughts make something wholesome or unwholesome. Not what other's think. So, is there a need to <strong><em>care</em></strong> about what others think regarding a certain thing?</p>

<p>We can do good for others, but they might think that we do something bad for them. Isn't it their responsibility to think in a wholesome manner?</p>

<p>The title of this question should be "Should we care about what others think?", but I found a related question here:</p>

<p><a href="https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/q/37530/17744">Should we care about what others think?</a></p>

<p>However, it doesn't have any answers regarding this case (karma).</p>

<p>Kind regards</p>

<karma><guidance><society>
Shouldn't we care only "What I think" instead of "What I + Others think"?
# Shouldn't we care only "What I think" instead of "What I + Others think"?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2020-05-17)

Our own thoughts make something wholesome or unwholesome. Not what other's think. So, is there a need to ***care*** about what others think regarding a certain thing?

We can do good for others, but they might think that we do something bad for them. Isn't it their responsibility to think in a wholesome manner?

The title of this question should be "Should we care about what others think?", but I found a related question here:

[Should we care about what others think?](https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/q/37530/17744)

However, it doesn't have any answers regarding this case (karma).

Kind regards

**Tags:** karma, guidance, society


---

## 2 answers

### Answer by username_1 on 2020-05-17. Score: 1

We should not harass other people, including with what is wholesome. The suttas say:

> *Enduring patience is the supreme austerity, Nibbāna is supreme say the
> Buddhas, for one gone forth does not hurt another, nor does an ascetic
> harass another. Dhammapada 184*
>
> *Drawing in the mind’s thoughts As a tortoise draws its limbs into its
> shell, Independent, not harassing others, fully quenched, A bhikkhu
> would not blame anyone. SN 1.17*

If we act with a wholesome intention, this is not wrong. But if we discover others are not interested in our wholesome intentions, we should refrain from harassing them & care about what they think.

However, if we unintentionally offend them with our wholesomeness, we have done nothing wrong. As Jesus said: "*Do not give pearls to swine; do not give the children's food to the dogs; they will turn to attack & trample upon it*".


---

### Answer by username_2 on 2020-05-17. Score: 0

The Kalama Sutta ([AN 3.65](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.065.than.html)) says:

> So, as I said, Kalamas: 'Don't go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, "This contemplative is our teacher." When you know for yourselves that, "These qualities are unskillful; these qualities are blameworthy; **these qualities are criticized by the wise**; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to harm & to suffering" — then you should abandon them.' Thus was it said. And in reference to this was it said.
>
> Now, Kalamas, don't go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, 'This contemplative is our teacher.' When you know for yourselves that, 'These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; **these qualities are praised by the wise**; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare & to happiness' — then you should enter & remain in them.

I think that implies you should care about and understand, as well as "know for yourself", what wise people think.

I think there's a lot of mention too, in the suttas, about social harmony within the sangha -- and its being important to have good or spiritual friends -- I think that might be what's meant by "the holy life" (*brahamacariya*):

> Not so, Ānanda! Not so, Ānanda!  
> *“Mā hevaṃ, ānanda, mā hevaṃ, ānanda.*
>
> Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life.  
> *Sakalamevidaṃ, ānanda, brahmacariyaṃ, yadidaṃ—kalyāṇamittatā kalyāṇasahāyatā kalyāṇasampavaṅkatā.*
>
> [SN 45.2](https://suttacentral.net/sn45.2/en/sujato)

We also have precepts (e.g. to be harmless). They too are motivated by what other people think:

> All tremble at violence; all fear death. **Putting oneself in the place of another**, one should not kill nor cause another to kill.
>
> [Dhp 129](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.10.budd.html)


---

