<p>If one needs reality to be something else, that partiality  will  lead one to suffering however it is possible for one to act appropriately without needing reality to change.</p>

<p>The more one practices what cultivates wisdom, the more one will make the appropriate decisions without partiality to the decisions one makes.</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-12-15T07:11:56.520Z
Are you able to cite real world examples?
Motivated
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-12-13T04:27:20.627Z
2015-12-13T04:27:20.627Z
Lowbrow
<p>Simply put it expectations are a source of stress and misery as in many instances your expectations are never met. Expectations arise from ignorance real state of the world or not seeing this as they are (lack of <code>yathā bhūta ñāna dassana</code>).</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-12-13T02:47:17.390Z
2015-12-13T02:47:17.390Z
Suminda Sirinath S. Dharmasena
<p>This may sound surprising to you... but as I understand, in Buddhism the expectations like you described would be seen as <em>your</em> attachments and <em>your</em> ignorance.</p>

<p>Indeed, if you were infinitely wise, you would see this person as they are, and would not be mistaken by the appearance. The fact that your original opinion turned out to be wrong means you are not infinitely wise! :)</p>

<p>Two, once the expectations have been unfulfilled and you become disenchanted, to continue to be upset and to regret that things are not the way you thought they were, is a case of attachment. Meaning, you had one experience of the world, and now situation has changed - hence another experience, but you continue to hold to the past picture.</p>

<p>So in this way, these expectations are your ignorance and your attachment.</p>

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2015-12-13T02:34:24.200Z
Um. But what about  monastic rules: those are "expectations", aren't they? And so are parental rules.
ChrisW
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2015-12-13T02:38:58.067Z
The monastic rules are in place to create a conducive environment for practice; there's no expectation that anyone should follow them, and ergo be a monk. Some may have the expectation that monastics should follow them, but that expectation and the rules themselves are two different things.
Ryan
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-12-13T02:46:56.697Z
As far as I understand at least
Ryan
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2015-12-13T02:51:43.213Z
@ChrisW those are more like conditions right? "You are expected to follow the rules or else". I don't think that's what OP meant, but let's wait and see.
Andriy Volkov
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-12-13T06:34:51.343Z
@Andrei Volkov - Thanks. I'll attempt to define expectations which may be governed by implict and explicit rules, structures, mental models. For example, if there exists an explicit rule, there is an both an implicit and explicit expectation/condition that this is followed. In scenarios where these rules don't generally exist e.g. helping others, understanding others, these appear to fall short i.e. there is a disconnect between the outcome and the intended expected outcome often causing rise to effects unless the person is `wise` to understand the cause, condition and effect.
Motivated
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-12-13T02:23:39.277Z
2015-12-13T02:23:39.277Z
Andriy Volkov
<p>If one has expectations of others, how is this perceived in Buddhism? </p>

<p>For example, if one expects others to show respect, not hurt others, help others, make effort to understand others, etc, how is this perceived?</p>

<p>If these expectations are not met or remain unfulfilled, does one simply class these are ignorance, lack of maturity, etc?</p>

<personal-practice>
How are expectations seen in Buddhism?
# How are expectations seen in Buddhism?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2015-12-13)

If one has expectations of others, how is this perceived in Buddhism?

For example, if one expects others to show respect, not hurt others, help others, make effort to understand others, etc, how is this perceived?

If these expectations are not met or remain unfulfilled, does one simply class these are ignorance, lack of maturity, etc?

**Tags:** personal-practice


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## 3 answers

### Answer by username_3 on 2015-12-13. Score: 3 | Accepted answer

This may sound surprising to you... but as I understand, in Buddhism the expectations like you described would be seen as *your* attachments and *your* ignorance.

Indeed, if you were infinitely wise, you would see this person as they are, and would not be mistaken by the appearance. The fact that your original opinion turned out to be wrong means you are not infinitely wise! :)

Two, once the expectations have been unfulfilled and you become disenchanted, to continue to be upset and to regret that things are not the way you thought they were, is a case of attachment. Meaning, you had one experience of the world, and now situation has changed - hence another experience, but you continue to hold to the past picture.

So in this way, these expectations are your ignorance and your attachment.

> **Comments:**
> **username_4**: Um. But what about  monastic rules: those are "expectations", aren't they? And so are parental rules.  
> **username_5**: The monastic rules are in place to create a conducive environment for practice; there's no expectation that anyone should follow them, and ergo be a monk. Some may have the expectation that monastics should follow them, but that expectation and the rules themselves are two different things.  
> **username_5**: As far as I understand at least  
> **username_3**: @username_4 those are more like conditions right? "You are expected to follow the rules or else". I don't think that's what OP meant, but let's wait and see.  
> **username_0**: @Andrei Volkov - Thanks. I'll attempt to define expectations which may be governed by implict and explicit rules, structures, mental models. For example, if there exists an explicit rule, there is an both an implicit and explicit expectation/condition that this is followed. In scenarios where these rules don't generally exist e.g. helping others, understanding others, these appear to fall short i.e. there is a disconnect between the outcome and the intended expected outcome often causing rise to effects unless the person is `wise` to understand the cause, condition and effect.  

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### Answer by username_1 on 2015-12-13. Score: 3

If one needs reality to be something else, that partiality will lead one to suffering however it is possible for one to act appropriately without needing reality to change.

The more one practices what cultivates wisdom, the more one will make the appropriate decisions without partiality to the decisions one makes.

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: Are you able to cite real world examples?  

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### Answer by username_2 on 2015-12-13. Score: 2

Simply put it expectations are a source of stress and misery as in many instances your expectations are never met. Expectations arise from ignorance real state of the world or not seeing this as they are (lack of `yathā bhūta ñāna dassana`).


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