<p>Yes Metta is a very very important factor in the art of communication, throughout <em>all</em> the stages of the communication process.</p>

<p>Being <strong>natural</strong> (effortless) and <strong>honest</strong> is another core trait (Right Speech) as well as having a high level of generosity (dana paramita)</p>

<p>There are many others social skill factors, some of which are based on advanced NLP skills (which is a way to communicate to people using the specific way that they think--thus others cannot help but pay full attention to what they are saying).</p>

<p>You will not understand all these things in one day. It will take you the rest of your life to understand the many facets of social relationships especially <strong>the fact that people will not like you if you want them to like you.</strong></p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T16:11:35.907Z
Thanks for sharing! But does NLP even related to Metta practice? Do you mean once you have attained certain lvl of Metta then you will have NLP skills?
Sunset_Limited
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T16:12:26.547Z
No it relates to karuna practice.
Med
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2015-03-28T16:13:31.280Z
All the brahmas actually are excellent meditations for decreasing social anxiety and increasing social effectiveness.
Med
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2015-03-28T16:02:18.267Z
2015-03-28T18:50:09.713Z
2015-03-28T18:50:09.713Z
Med
<p>You already know it. </p>

<p>Depressive mind has power to transform whole world to depressive world. Angry mind has power to transform whole word to angry world. Metta mind has power to transform whole world to metta world.</p>

<p>When dwelling in depression, everything is depressive. When boiling in anger, everything is angry. When radiating metta, everything is shining metta.</p>

<p>This world will reflect back what ever you offer to it. If you have this <em>I like you and I want to help you</em> -mind towards this world, this world will reflect it back to you as <em>I like you and I want to help you</em> -world.</p>

<p>Why don't you try out?</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T16:31:11.263Z
Thanks for sharing!But u can't just help someone only if you like him/her. I thought you should help all without prejudices.
Sunset_Limited
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2015-03-28T17:29:05.353Z
I didn't advocate any prejudices. Help those who you like and like those who need help. And everyone needs help.
ssamituss
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T16:09:07.620Z
2015-03-28T16:09:07.620Z
ssamituss
<p>From the <a href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an11/an11.016.piya.html">Mettanisamsa Sutta</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>"Monks, eleven advantages are to be expected from the release
  (deliverance) of heart by familiarizing oneself with thoughts of
  loving-kindness (metta), by the cultivation of loving-kindness, by
  constantly increasing these thoughts, by regarding loving-kindness as
  a vehicle (of expression), and also as something to be treasured, by
  living in conformity with these thoughts, by putting these ideas into
  practice, and by establishing them. What are the eleven?</p>
  
  <ol>
  <li>"He sleeps in comfort.</li>
  <li>He awakes in comfort.</li>
  <li>He sees no evil dreams.</li>
  <li><strong>He is dear to human beings.</strong></li>
  <li>He is dear to non-human beings.</li>
  <li>Devas (gods) protect him.</li>
  <li>Fire, poison, and sword cannot touch him.</li>
  <li>His mind can concentrate quickly.</li>
  <li>His countenance is serene.</li>
  <li>He dies without being confused in mind.</li>
  <li>If he fails to attain arahantship (the highest sanctity) here and now, he will be reborn in the brahma-world.</li>
  </ol>
</blockquote>

<p>Read <a href="http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/facets_of_metta.php">this essay</a> to get some exposition and experience on Metta. Particularly this experience:</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>Once I had a meditation student who had been a child in Nazi-occupied
  Europe. She recounted an instance when she was around ten years old
  when a German soldier held a gun to her chest -- a situation that
  would readily arouse terror. Yet she related feeling no fear at all,
  thinking, "You may be able to kill my body, but you can't kill me."
  What a spacious reaction! It is in this way that lovingkindness opens
  the vastness of mind in us, which is ultimately our greatest
  protection.</p>
</blockquote>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T18:36:35.890Z
Are you sleeping and waking up in more comfort compared to when you started the practice? Do you have better mental concentration? Do you find improvements in the way people relate to you? And so on ... (but don't try fire, poison and swords)
ruben2020
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T18:41:08.360Z
Hmm...Has anyone experienced significant improvement/changes in reality? When u said fire, poison and swords, u mean?
Sunset_Limited
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2015-03-28T19:33:39.827Z
Ignore the fire, poison and swords part. I will update the answer with the experiences of others.
ruben2020
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2015-03-28T16:13:08.463Z
Thanks for sharing! Do you mind to elaborate more on these 11 stages?
Sunset_Limited
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2015-03-28T16:25:37.020Z
They are not stages. Just 11 advantages of practising metta.
ruben2020
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T17:54:45.103Z
How do u assess the effectiveness here?
Sunset_Limited
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-03-28T15:59:40.123Z
2015-03-28T19:34:51.670Z
2015-03-28T19:34:51.670Z
ruben2020
<p>I think somebody asked a similar question earlier and understand that this will likely be closed but hope not.
Was wondering can practicing of Metta make you likeable? Or rather more approachable? Easy to talk to?
This is a very strange world, there are some people who possess some kind of unexplainable magnetism, it's like people are generally attracted to them and people pay attention when they talk.<br>
They have never been out of the limelight.<br>
Is it something to do with Metta?</p>

<personal-practice><metta-bhavana><loving-kindness>
Can Metta make you likable?
# Can Metta make you likable?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2015-03-28)

I think somebody asked a similar question earlier and understand that this will likely be closed but hope not.
Was wondering can practicing of Metta make you likeable? Or rather more approachable? Easy to talk to?
This is a very strange world, there are some people who possess some kind of unexplainable magnetism, it's like people are generally attracted to them and people pay attention when they talk.  
They have never been out of the limelight.  
Is it something to do with Metta?

**Tags:** personal-practice, metta-bhavana, loving-kindness


---

## 3 answers

### Answer by username_3 on 2015-03-28. Score: 8

From the [Mettanisamsa Sutta](http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an11/an11.016.piya.html):

> "Monks, eleven advantages are to be expected from the release
> (deliverance) of heart by familiarizing oneself with thoughts of
> loving-kindness (metta), by the cultivation of loving-kindness, by
> constantly increasing these thoughts, by regarding loving-kindness as
> a vehicle (of expression), and also as something to be treasured, by
> living in conformity with these thoughts, by putting these ideas into
> practice, and by establishing them. What are the eleven?
>
> 1. "He sleeps in comfort.
> 2. He awakes in comfort.
> 3. He sees no evil dreams.
> 4. **He is dear to human beings.**
> 5. He is dear to non-human beings.
> 6. Devas (gods) protect him.
> 7. Fire, poison, and sword cannot touch him.
> 8. His mind can concentrate quickly.
> 9. His countenance is serene.
> 10. He dies without being confused in mind.
> 11. If he fails to attain arahantship (the highest sanctity) here and now, he will be reborn in the brahma-world.

Read [this essay](http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/facets_of_metta.php) to get some exposition and experience on Metta. Particularly this experience:

> Once I had a meditation student who had been a child in Nazi-occupied
> Europe. She recounted an instance when she was around ten years old
> when a German soldier held a gun to her chest -- a situation that
> would readily arouse terror. Yet she related feeling no fear at all,
> thinking, "You may be able to kill my body, but you can't kill me."
> What a spacious reaction! It is in this way that lovingkindness opens
> the vastness of mind in us, which is ultimately our greatest
> protection.

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: Thanks for sharing! Do you mind to elaborate more on these 11 stages?  
> **username_3**: They are not stages. Just 11 advantages of practising metta.  
> **username_0**: How do u assess the effectiveness here?  
> **username_3**: Are you sleeping and waking up in more comfort compared to when you started the practice? Do you have better mental concentration? Do you find improvements in the way people relate to you? And so on ... (but don't try fire, poison and swords)  
> **username_0**: Hmm...Has anyone experienced significant improvement/changes in reality? When u said fire, poison and swords, u mean?  
> **username_3**: Ignore the fire, poison and swords part. I will update the answer with the experiences of others.  

---

### Answer by username_1 on 2015-03-28. Score: 3

Yes Metta is a very very important factor in the art of communication, throughout *all* the stages of the communication process.

Being **natural** (effortless) and **honest** is another core trait (Right Speech) as well as having a high level of generosity (dana paramita)

There are many others social skill factors, some of which are based on advanced NLP skills (which is a way to communicate to people using the specific way that they think--thus others cannot help but pay full attention to what they are saying).

You will not understand all these things in one day. It will take you the rest of your life to understand the many facets of social relationships especially **the fact that people will not like you if you want them to like you.**

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: Thanks for sharing! But does NLP even related to Metta practice? Do you mean once you have attained certain lvl of Metta then you will have NLP skills?  
> **username_1**: No it relates to karuna practice.  
> **username_1**: All the brahmas actually are excellent meditations for decreasing social anxiety and increasing social effectiveness.  

---

### Answer by username_2 on 2015-03-28. Score: 2

You already know it.

Depressive mind has power to transform whole world to depressive world. Angry mind has power to transform whole word to angry world. Metta mind has power to transform whole world to metta world.

When dwelling in depression, everything is depressive. When boiling in anger, everything is angry. When radiating metta, everything is shining metta.

This world will reflect back what ever you offer to it. If you have this *I like you and I want to help you* -mind towards this world, this world will reflect it back to you as *I like you and I want to help you* -world.

Why don't you try out?

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: Thanks for sharing!But u can't just help someone only if you like him/her. I thought you should help all without prejudices.  
> **username_2**: I didn't advocate any prejudices. Help those who you like and like those who need help. And everyone needs help.  

---

