<p>Let me just tell you the story of a monk and his disciple... On a pilgrimage they came upto a shallow river where they are supposed to cross it by walking... At the same time on the banks they saw a beautiful young woman standing hesitated to cross ... To the bewilderment of the young disciple the monk calmly went to the woman and asked her to climb his shoulder and he carried her across... After crossing the river the monk dropped her down and walked on as if nothing happened... The disciple couldnot hold his frustration any longer and bursted out..."what was that?".... The monk looked surprised and then he calmly replied..."why are you still carrying the woman on your shoulders?".... </p>

<p>I believe it is all about your intentions... As long as you does not intend any sexuality in any of your actions there should be no taboo for physical contact... But you must be sure be like  the monk who was able to let down the woman from his shoulders...</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-05-16T15:47:43.883Z
interesting answer, can we find a citation?
Anthony
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-05-16T16:04:38.030Z
http://zenpencils.com/comic/109-zen-fable-the-river-crossing/  this is a well known story which can be intrepreted in many ways..
0xdeadbeef
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-05-15T06:53:04.773Z
2015-05-15T06:53:04.773Z
0xdeadbeef
<p>..."I never understand why physical contact is automatically associated with erotic practices"... We are not in control of how sensual desires arise. The only thing we can do to control erotic desire is to cut out what has been known to make the erotic desire arise and that means abstaining from physical contact. Doesn't it help meditation practice when we don't do things that could possibly lead to defilement and distraction? Erotic desire entangles  and greatly distracts us from the task of seeing things as they are. Metta :)</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-05-14T15:24:38.943Z
2015-05-14T15:24:38.943Z
Lowbrow
<p>When staying at buddhist monasteries (Theravada for me so far) there are the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Precepts#Eight_Precepts" rel="noreferrer" title="Eight Precepts">Eight Precepts</a> to be followed. I am familiar with the eight precepts. Regarding the precepts "</p>

<p>This bothers me already for a while: "To refrain from any kind of erotic behaviour" one thing bothers me already for a while.</p>

<p>I cite from the information for guests from the <a href="http://www.amaravati.org/" rel="noreferrer" title="Amaravati Buddhist monastery">Amaravati Buddhist monastery</a> since the point which bothers me is well formulated there (I cannot directly link to the information for guests since it is mailed as PDF and not online on their website):</p>

<blockquote>
  <ul>
  <li>To refrain from any kind of erotic behaviour</li>
  </ul>
  
  <p>[...] For lay guests, while you are here you should avoid
  cultivating intimate relationships. This means to avoid physical
  contact [...]</p>
</blockquote>

<p>(Full qoute for your reference at the bottom, here extracted the part relevant to the question extracted)</p>

<p>I understand (also by experience, although I've never done "real" sex up to now) why to refrain from erotic behaviour.</p>

<p>But I never understand why physical contact is automatically
associated with erotic practices. Take bodywork (therapeutic) or massage for example. Take communication through physical contact than through words (as in
Shiatsu, or simple games with hands-on) for example. Take dance-forms that concentrate on the experience pf physical principles rather than
"socialising-partnerfinding" (such as Contact Improvisation) for example.  Acrobatics. etc.</p>

<p>On the other hand, there may be many erotic scenarios without involving
physical contact.</p>

<p>So, what is so special about physical contact in the context of erotic/sexual behaviour that it needs to be forbidden at all at monasteries?</p>

<hr>

<p>Full quote:</p>

<blockquote>
  <ul>
  <li>To refrain from any kind of erotic behaviour</li>
  </ul>
  
  <p>An important aspect of spiritual practice is the transformation of energy. This precept refers specifically to Sexual energy which can be transformed into 'heart energy'. To support this process, our training in the community requires that all behaviour supports the practice of celibacy.</p>
  
  <p>For lay guests, while you are here you should avoid cultivating intimate relationships. This means to avoid physical contact or actively seeking out the company of anyone to whom you may feel sexually attracted. Even in speech, it is important to be sensitive to time, place and topic, not
  creating or furthering situations in which sexual attraction may arise.</p>
  
  <p>This is especially true in contact with the monastics. For the monks and nuns, even private conversation with the opposite sex has strict boundaries. Such contact must be in a public place, or with a chaperon present (and sensitive also to topics discussed). Certain times are available for
  you to speak with some of the senior monks and nuns.</p>
</blockquote>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-05-14T11:41:30.870Z
Welcome to Buddhism.SE. We've put together some tips to help you get started [here](http://meta.buddhism.stackexchange.com/questions/1502/i-am-a-new-user-here-at-buddhism-se-what-should-i-know-before-i-post?).
Robin111
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-05-14T16:58:04.947Z
What's the need for couple dancing and massage therapy in a monastery? The 8 precepts are taken mostly on Poya days or if you are staying at a monastery.
Sankha Kulathantille
<sexuality><eight-precepts>
What is special about physical contact in the context of erotic/sexual behaviour?
# What is special about physical contact in the context of erotic/sexual behaviour?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2015-05-14)

When staying at buddhist monasteries (Theravada for me so far) there are the [Eight Precepts](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Precepts#Eight_Precepts "Eight Precepts") to be followed. I am familiar with the eight precepts. Regarding the precepts "

This bothers me already for a while: "To refrain from any kind of erotic behaviour" one thing bothers me already for a while.

I cite from the information for guests from the [Amaravati Buddhist monastery](http://www.amaravati.org/ "Amaravati Buddhist monastery") since the point which bothers me is well formulated there (I cannot directly link to the information for guests since it is mailed as PDF and not online on their website):

> * To refrain from any kind of erotic behaviour
>
> [...] For lay guests, while you are here you should avoid
> cultivating intimate relationships. This means to avoid physical
> contact [...]

(Full qoute for your reference at the bottom, here extracted the part relevant to the question extracted)

I understand (also by experience, although I've never done "real" sex up to now) why to refrain from erotic behaviour.

But I never understand why physical contact is automatically
associated with erotic practices. Take bodywork (therapeutic) or massage for example. Take communication through physical contact than through words (as in
Shiatsu, or simple games with hands-on) for example. Take dance-forms that concentrate on the experience pf physical principles rather than
"socialising-partnerfinding" (such as Contact Improvisation) for example. Acrobatics. etc.

On the other hand, there may be many erotic scenarios without involving
physical contact.

So, what is so special about physical contact in the context of erotic/sexual behaviour that it needs to be forbidden at all at monasteries?

---

Full quote:

> * To refrain from any kind of erotic behaviour
>
> An important aspect of spiritual practice is the transformation of energy. This precept refers specifically to Sexual energy which can be transformed into 'heart energy'. To support this process, our training in the community requires that all behaviour supports the practice of celibacy.
>
> For lay guests, while you are here you should avoid cultivating intimate relationships. This means to avoid physical contact or actively seeking out the company of anyone to whom you may feel sexually attracted. Even in speech, it is important to be sensitive to time, place and topic, not
> creating or furthering situations in which sexual attraction may arise.
>
> This is especially true in contact with the monastics. For the monks and nuns, even private conversation with the opposite sex has strict boundaries. Such contact must be in a public place, or with a chaperon present (and sensitive also to topics discussed). Certain times are available for
> you to speak with some of the senior monks and nuns.

**Tags:** sexuality, eight-precepts

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: Welcome to Buddhism.SE. We've put together some tips to help you get started [here](http://meta.buddhism.stackexchange.com/questions/1502/i-am-a-new-user-here-at-buddhism-se-what-should-i-know-before-i-post?).  
> **username_2**: What's the need for couple dancing and massage therapy in a monastery? The 8 precepts are taken mostly on Poya days or if you are staying at a monastery.  

---

## 2 answers

### Answer by username_5 on 2015-05-14. Score: 4 | Accepted answer

..."I never understand why physical contact is automatically associated with erotic practices"... We are not in control of how sensual desires arise. The only thing we can do to control erotic desire is to cut out what has been known to make the erotic desire arise and that means abstaining from physical contact. Doesn't it help meditation practice when we don't do things that could possibly lead to defilement and distraction? Erotic desire entangles and greatly distracts us from the task of seeing things as they are. Metta :)


---

### Answer by username_3 on 2015-05-15. Score: 1

Let me just tell you the story of a monk and his disciple... On a pilgrimage they came upto a shallow river where they are supposed to cross it by walking... At the same time on the banks they saw a beautiful young woman standing hesitated to cross ... To the bewilderment of the young disciple the monk calmly went to the woman and asked her to climb his shoulder and he carried her across... After crossing the river the monk dropped her down and walked on as if nothing happened... The disciple couldnot hold his frustration any longer and bursted out..."what was that?".... The monk looked surprised and then he calmly replied..."why are you still carrying the woman on your shoulders?"....

I believe it is all about your intentions... As long as you does not intend any sexuality in any of your actions there should be no taboo for physical contact... But you must be sure be like the monk who was able to let down the woman from his shoulders...

> **Comments:**
> **username_4**: interesting answer, can we find a citation?  
> **username_3**: http://zenpencils.com/comic/109-zen-fable-the-river-crossing/  this is a well known story which can be intrepreted in many ways..  

---

