<p>With all due respect, many people overestimate their "achievements". Just because a once-returner has remainders of sensual pleasure &amp; anger, doesn't mean that he/she will act on those. It's of course all really speculation because none of this has been mentioned in the suttas, but I believe a sotapanna and even moreso a sakadagami has such profound level of anatta, that enables them to detach from sensual desire and anger quickly.</p>

<p>A Buddha would have no interest in being in a relationship.</p>

<p>Since you also mentioned that you are a misanthrop, I doubt that you achieved higher states because misanthropy is a generalized hatred towards human beings.</p>

<p>With regards to sex I guess no one can give you a definite answer because humans are way too complex, have different wants &amp; preferences in different life periods, and also their personal attitudes (and former experiences) can influence their relationship life &amp; sexual life. </p>

<p>If you seek for a more loving relationship, make sure to look for a person who has somewhat same interests and goals as you do, and ideally both should practise Buddhism (or some other spiritual endeavor).</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-02-14T17:27:18.250Z
2020-02-14T21:58:12.240Z
2020-02-14T21:58:12.240Z
Val
<p>If what you want is sex (or a sex partner), you might find it frustrating to be married to "a Buddha".</p>

<p>FYI I take <a href="https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/a/7760/254">this answer</a> to be advice for choosing a partner, based on the suttas -- although that is arguably not <a href="/questions/tagged/tantra" class="post-tag" title="show questions tagged &#39;tantra&#39;" rel="tag">tantra</a> mind you.</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-02-14T14:49:13.073Z
2020-02-14T14:49:13.073Z
ChrisW
<p>It is gradual training.
just try to find a partner who observes five precepts.
I think it is a good start.</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-02-14T11:09:54.317Z
SarathW claims to reach jhana therefore claims to be a once-returner.
Dhamma Dhatu
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-02-14T11:36:28.620Z
ROFL That's all I can do.
SarathW
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-02-14T09:34:40.203Z
2020-02-14T09:34:40.203Z
SarathW
<p>Is it true that sakadagami can have sex that is pure so between a wife and husband. how can one gain the attention of a wise man who intends to marry and upholds The Way of Noble Ones.</p>

<nirvana><love><tantra>
How to find an appropriate sex partner for a sakadagami?
# How to find an appropriate sex partner for a sakadagami?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2020-02-14)

Is it true that sakadagami can have sex that is pure so between a wife and husband. how can one gain the attention of a wise man who intends to marry and upholds The Way of Noble Ones.

**Tags:** nirvana, love, tantra


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## 3 answers

### Answer by username_3 on 2020-02-14. Score: 1 | Accepted answer

It is gradual training.
just try to find a partner who observes five precepts.
I think it is a good start.

> **Comments:**
> **username_4**: username_3 claims to reach jhana therefore claims to be a once-returner.  
> **username_3**: ROFL That's all I can do.  

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### Answer by username_1 on 2020-02-14. Score: 2

With all due respect, many people overestimate their "achievements". Just because a once-returner has remainders of sensual pleasure & anger, doesn't mean that he/she will act on those. It's of course all really speculation because none of this has been mentioned in the suttas, but I believe a sotapanna and even moreso a sakadagami has such profound level of anatta, that enables them to detach from sensual desire and anger quickly.

A Buddha would have no interest in being in a relationship.

Since you also mentioned that you are a misanthrop, I doubt that you achieved higher states because misanthropy is a generalized hatred towards human beings.

With regards to sex I guess no one can give you a definite answer because humans are way too complex, have different wants & preferences in different life periods, and also their personal attitudes (and former experiences) can influence their relationship life & sexual life.

If you seek for a more loving relationship, make sure to look for a person who has somewhat same interests and goals as you do, and ideally both should practise Buddhism (or some other spiritual endeavor).


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### Answer by username_2 on 2020-02-14. Score: 1

If what you want is sex (or a sex partner), you might find it frustrating to be married to "a Buddha".

FYI I take [this answer](https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/a/7760/254) to be advice for choosing a partner, based on the suttas -- although that is arguably not [tantra](/questions/tagged/tantra "show questions tagged 'tantra'") mind you.


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