<p>I happened to come across it after a while. It's <a href="https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN22_80.html" rel="nofollow noreferrer">SN 22:80  Almsgoers - Piṇḍolya Sutta:</a></p>
<blockquote>
<p>“And although this son of a good family has gone forth in this way, he
is covetous, with strong passion for sensual desires, with a mind of
ill will, of corrupt resolves, his mindfulness muddled, unalert,
unconcentrated, his mind distracted, loose in his sense faculties.
Just as a log from a funeral pyre, burning at both ends, smeared with
excrement in the middle, fills no use as timber either in the village
or in the wilderness: I speak of this person with this comparison. <strong>He
has missed out on the enjoyments of the householder, and yet does not
fulfill the goal of the contemplative life.</strong>&quot;</p>
</blockquote>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2021-05-13T15:11:34.387Z
2021-05-13T15:11:34.387Z
Kirill
<p>There is one reference for this in <a href="https://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/verseload.php?verse=155" rel="nofollow noreferrer">Dhammapada 155 - 156</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Verse 155: They, who in youth have neither led the life of Purity nor
have acquired wealth, waste away in dejection like decrepit herons on
a drying pond deplete of fish.</p>
<p>Verse 156: They, who in youth have neither led the Life of Purity nor
have acquired wealth, lie helplessly like arrows that have lost
momentum, moaning and sighing after the past.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This is the commentary for it:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The Story of the Son of Mahadhana</p>
<p>While residing at the Migadaya wood, the Buddha uttered Verses (155)
and (156) of this book, with reference to the son of Mahadhana, a rich
man from Baranasi.</p>
<p>The son of Mahadhana did not study while he was young; when he came of
age he married the daughter of a rich man, who, like him, also had no
education. When the parents on both sides died, they inherited eighty
crores from each side and so were very rich. But both of them were
ignorant and knew only how to spend money and not how to keep it or to
make it grow. They just ate and drank and had a good time, squandering
their money. When they had spent all, they sold their fields and
gardens and finally their house. Thus, they became very poor and
helpless; and because they did not know how to earn a living they had
to go begging. One day, the Buddha saw the rich man's son leaning
against a wall of the monastery, taking the leftovers given him by the
samaneras; seeing him, the Buddha smiled.</p>
<p>The Venerable Ananda asked the Buddha why he smiled, and the Buddha
replied, &quot;Ananda, look at this son of a very rich man; he had lived a
useless life, an aimless life of pleasure. If he had learnt to look
after his riches in the first stage of his life he would have been a
top-ranking rich man; or if he had become a bhikkhu, he could have
been an arahat, and his wife could have been an anagami. If he had
learnt to look after his riches in the second stage of his life he
would have been a second rank rich man, or if he had become a bhikkhu
he could have been an anagami, and his wife could have been a
sakadagami. If he had learnt to look after his riches in the third
stage of his life he would have been a third rank rich man, or if he
had become a bhikkhu he could have been a sakadagami, and his wife
could have been a sotapanna. However, because he had done nothing in
all the three stages of his life he had lost all his worldly riches,
he had also lost all opportunities of attaining any of the Maggas and
Phalas.&quot;</p>
<p>Then the Buddha spoke in verse as follows:</p>
<p>Verse 155: They, who in
youth have neither led the life of Purity nor have acquired wealth,
waste away in dejection like decrepit herons on a drying pond deplete
of fish.</p>
<p>Verse 156: They, who in youth have neither led the Life of
Purity nor have acquired wealth, lie helplessly like arrows that have
lost momentum, moaning and sighing after the past.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>In <a href="https://youtu.be/OJjmZpttAGk" rel="nofollow noreferrer">this YouTube video</a>, Ven. Yuttadhammo explains these verses.</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-10-02T09:52:22.197Z
2020-10-02T10:03:23.507Z
2020-10-02T10:03:23.507Z
ruben2020
<p>One of the suttas where the Buddha is critical of a monk as not living the holy life the right way and at the same time by not disrobing missing out on the pleasures of the householder's life.</p>
<p>In effect the meaning was:  missing out / depriving himself of both opportunities - not only the higher one but the lower one as well.</p>
<hr />
<p><strong>Update</strong></p>
<p>Found the sutta, posted own answer.
Thanks ruben2020 for sharing the dhammapada suggestion, and Yeshe for the formatting of my own answer.</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2021-05-12T23:42:05.923Z
Your whole update should go into a new answer.
ruben2020
<reference-request><sutras>
Help trying to find a sutta speaking of the pleasures of the householder
# Help trying to find a sutta speaking of the pleasures of the householder

(Asked by: username_0 on 2020-10-02)

One of the suttas where the Buddha is critical of a monk as not living the holy life the right way and at the same time by not disrobing missing out on the pleasures of the householder's life.

In effect the meaning was: missing out / depriving himself of both opportunities - not only the higher one but the lower one as well.

---

**Update**

Found the sutta, posted own answer.
Thanks username_1 for sharing the dhammapada suggestion, and Yeshe for the formatting of my own answer.

**Tags:** reference-request, sutras

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: Your whole update should go into a new answer.  

---

## 2 answers

### Answer by username_0 on 2021-05-13. Score: 1 | Accepted answer

I happened to come across it after a while. It's [SN 22:80 Almsgoers - Piṇḍolya Sutta:](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN22_80.html)

> “And although this son of a good family has gone forth in this way, he
> is covetous, with strong passion for sensual desires, with a mind of
> ill will, of corrupt resolves, his mindfulness muddled, unalert,
> unconcentrated, his mind distracted, loose in his sense faculties.
> Just as a log from a funeral pyre, burning at both ends, smeared with
> excrement in the middle, fills no use as timber either in the village
> or in the wilderness: I speak of this person with this comparison. **He
> has missed out on the enjoyments of the householder, and yet does not
> fulfill the goal of the contemplative life.**"


---

### Answer by username_1 on 2020-10-02. Score: 4

There is one reference for this in [Dhammapada 155 - 156](https://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/verseload.php?verse=155):

> Verse 155: They, who in youth have neither led the life of Purity nor
> have acquired wealth, waste away in dejection like decrepit herons on
> a drying pond deplete of fish.
>
> Verse 156: They, who in youth have neither led the Life of Purity nor
> have acquired wealth, lie helplessly like arrows that have lost
> momentum, moaning and sighing after the past.

This is the commentary for it:

> The Story of the Son of Mahadhana
>
> While residing at the Migadaya wood, the Buddha uttered Verses (155)
> and (156) of this book, with reference to the son of Mahadhana, a rich
> man from Baranasi.
>
> The son of Mahadhana did not study while he was young; when he came of
> age he married the daughter of a rich man, who, like him, also had no
> education. When the parents on both sides died, they inherited eighty
> crores from each side and so were very rich. But both of them were
> ignorant and knew only how to spend money and not how to keep it or to
> make it grow. They just ate and drank and had a good time, squandering
> their money. When they had spent all, they sold their fields and
> gardens and finally their house. Thus, they became very poor and
> helpless; and because they did not know how to earn a living they had
> to go begging. One day, the Buddha saw the rich man's son leaning
> against a wall of the monastery, taking the leftovers given him by the
> samaneras; seeing him, the Buddha smiled.
>
> The Venerable Ananda asked the Buddha why he smiled, and the Buddha
> replied, "Ananda, look at this son of a very rich man; he had lived a
> useless life, an aimless life of pleasure. If he had learnt to look
> after his riches in the first stage of his life he would have been a
> top-ranking rich man; or if he had become a bhikkhu, he could have
> been an arahat, and his wife could have been an anagami. If he had
> learnt to look after his riches in the second stage of his life he
> would have been a second rank rich man, or if he had become a bhikkhu
> he could have been an anagami, and his wife could have been a
> sakadagami. If he had learnt to look after his riches in the third
> stage of his life he would have been a third rank rich man, or if he
> had become a bhikkhu he could have been a sakadagami, and his wife
> could have been a sotapanna. However, because he had done nothing in
> all the three stages of his life he had lost all his worldly riches,
> he had also lost all opportunities of attaining any of the Maggas and
> Phalas."
>
> Then the Buddha spoke in verse as follows:
>
> Verse 155: They, who in
> youth have neither led the life of Purity nor have acquired wealth,
> waste away in dejection like decrepit herons on a drying pond deplete
> of fish.
>
> Verse 156: They, who in youth have neither led the Life of
> Purity nor have acquired wealth, lie helplessly like arrows that have
> lost momentum, moaning and sighing after the past.

In [this YouTube video](https://youtu.be/OJjmZpttAGk), Ven. Yuttadhammo explains these verses.


---

